Nonsensical Nonsense Ep.37

Transcript

Speaker: Ask it.

Speaker: A little whiskey left in the bottle You know it's good for you now But it won't be easy tomorrow And what kind of man would I be if I didn't hold you

Speaker: And just no girl when I leave Baby, I told you Why can't it just stay the same And after this it's all gonna change

Speaker: Oh, right now, darling, morning's closing in there The best thing about this feeling is it won't

Speaker: There's silence as we stare at each other I know we both had too much But I could do with another And darling I'll stay as long as you let me

Speaker: But you know I gotta go So just try to forget me Why can't it just stay the same? And after this it's all gonna change Hurry now darling, the morning's closing

Speaker: Why can't it just be the same? And after this it's all gonna change Hurrying out darling, the morning's closing in fast The best thing about this

Speaker: Woo! That dude can shred. Grab your socks. Grab your cocks. It's podcast time. What's going on, everybody? Welcome to another episode of Nonsenseical Nonsense. I'm good. You already knew that. He's Jeff. He don't matter. But you knew that.

Speaker: I'm just the goofy sidekick. Welcome to the podcast guys. Hopefully y 'all having a good week so far. It is hump day as corny and cheesy as that sounds, but it is. We've always made it. You guys aren't already. Feel free to check us out on Instagram, Facebook.

Speaker: TikTok, Twitter, YouTube, Twitch, and get every episode of the podcast on Spotify, Google, Apple, and anywhere you get your podcast jollies, all at nonsensical nonsense. Go give us a thumbing. I'm going to start the hashtag thumbing. Yeah, you like that. And if you're hearing this and you're a musician,

Speaker: Uh, actor, comedian, another podcast host, uh, game or whatever. And you want to come on the show, drop us, uh, drop us a line at, uh, nonsensical nonsense podcast at gmail .com. Yes. Yes. Beautiful, sir. That was a perfect setup. Thank you. I am definitely drinking tonight because I know you had a hell of a day.

Speaker: and I know I have a hell of a fucking day but I want to hear about your day. You heard about mine and and I'm sure I'll bring mine up but I want to hear about your day. So please invite me onto the hellishness of your day. I wasn't so much of uh what's going on Shatter's box. How y 'all doing? Welcome. Welcome. Luke said uh go thumb me.

Speaker: Um, and one for me, Luke, uh, Luke requests you have a beer for him. Um, we're doing a, we're doing a, a bad job at work, which means we are pulling all the insulation out of an attic and putting new insulation in. I think we're doing that tomorrow.

Speaker: But as we've discussed multiple times, um, now is it, is it, is it rolled insulation or is it blown constantly? It's blown sucks. Yeah. And I've done blown insulation and that it's, that is a shit job. Yeah. Well, we had to remove this fucking hot out.

Speaker: Yeah, we had to remove the old installation, which was blown in there as well. Now, how do you guys remove it? Do you use a vacuum or do you, uh, shovel? Yeah, we have, uh, no, no, God, no. You don't pay me enough for this bullshit.

Speaker: Yeah. I was like, you know what? Take this job and shove it. I don't work here anymore. Hey, you know what? I was, I was working on, I was building this kitchen today and, uh, you'll never guess what I was listening to. I played the song back to back like six times in a row, not on purpose, just because I actually only hit repeat.

Speaker: nine to five my Dolly fucking Parton, dude. I put on my Spotify. And it was like, fifth down on my playlist. And I had the remote in my back pocket. And I sat down for a second. And apparently I hit the remote where hit repeat. So repeat song like five times after like the fifth or sixth time I was like, are you playing? Give me up. I'm in Ohio as well.

Speaker: Yeah. I listened to us all day at work today. My boss asked me at the end of the day, I'm pretty girl. Welcome to the show. Summer says, Oh, look, it's my baby and his pork pulled bitch ass friend. Oh, she's giving me shit because I, I, I sent her that.

Speaker: I was talking, but I did it in the nicest way. It wasn't like, I wasn't trying to be a dick summer. I'm just saying, I thought it was funny. I thought you'd get a kick out of it. I didn't know you're going to take it all snow flaky. She went full on snowflake. She was like, keyboard warrior. You are not, you are not helping your cosmon. I'm sure I'm not.

Speaker: And that's what I was going to say. I was like, damn, it was a joke. Yeah. I was going to say, you know, she's, she's not the one man. She's gangster. Yeah. I forgot. I just thought it was funny. She, she, she wasn't really, she's like, I'm about, I'm about to make a quick, quick shout out to, to our boy, Brad. He just got over it. And he said it was, it's no fun joke.

Speaker: I was talking to him last night. We were talking about that truck. He just bought. And he said, he said, that shit is no fucking joke, but he's unvaccinated because he's like us. He's like, fuck that shit. But he said, as I've told summer, I'm not, I'm not pro or anti. We're not going to go down this road because if you want to listen to that tune into the Kevin Ali show and for the 4 ,733rd time,

Speaker: Kevin's doing the same rant about masking vaccines and COVID. So if you want to hear that, you can go there. But I'm not, I'm neither pro nor anti. I just, I haven't gotten it yet. I'm in no big hurry to go get it. I'm, you know, it is what it is. Well, uh, I think in Texas, they were giving away a truck. Now, if I win a truck, I'll take it. Oh, Ohio gave away like $5 million.

Speaker: And like an $80 ,000 truck. And I'm like, you know what? I could use a truck. I kept on guessing, but I could use the motherfucker. But yeah, I just, I literally, uh, I was, like I said, I was talking to Brad last night and he said that shit is no joke.

Speaker: Apparently, the vaccine is literally, it makes the symptoms not as harsh. So, not diminishing summer getting it, but from what I understand, her symptoms were, I'm sure they were bad and I'm not diminishing in any way, but the vaccine does help with the symptoms.

Speaker: Yeah. Well, and that's what summer and I were actually talking about today. I just haven't gotten my shot. I probably, uh, I more than likely will get it eventually. Hey, what's up, Tommy? What are they about? Uh, I, uh, you want to get into the shot on my dead when I'm a cold dead corpse. Yeah. Well, you're on it. I'm that guy.

Speaker: No, it's been sitting out. Well, in that case, I'm going to get vaccinated right now. Jeff, you got the show by yourself. I'm out of here. Tommy said that he got vaccinated and it made his penis bigger. I don't need it. A little SDM, SMD.

Speaker: SDM. Yeah, SDM. It is no secret that I do not suffer from SDM because I suffer from a tiny Becker. So what is what is the male version of the itty bitty titty committee? Oh, probably TPG. Excuse me while I stuff my fat fucking face. But yeah, just said at the beginning of the show.

Speaker: Um, it's been, I did not get off work until, yeah, I did not get off work until like eight o 'clock tonight. So I did not eat at all. Well, the, the, funnily enough, if it was up to me, I wouldn't have eaten today. I would have gotten a shit ton more done because my wife was doing split shift today. She went back to work today and she did split shift at the hotel. She was at, and, uh, she came home at like one o 'clock and she's like, uh, you guys are going to take a break. And I was like,

Speaker: Uh, just throw some chicken in my mouth as I cut this board. I'm good. And she's like, no, you're going to come take a break. We're going to watch a movie. And I'm like, all right, stairs, sat in air conditioning for two hours. Watch the movie. Yeah. Watch hotel. So basically, yeah. You are summer said a short Dick man is the equivalent of the itty bitty titty, titty committee, uh, salt and pepper song. Yeah. I like that song. But, um,

Speaker: What the fuck are you? Oh, yeah, you you and your fucking state job over there taking two -hour lunch fucking breaks I know that's what that's what my pop said too. I called pops because I had a couple questions. I wasn't sure of You know just because I can build something doesn't mean I know exactly what I'm doing And I don't go into any build with a plan except for what's in my head and I'm like, yeah, that'll work

Speaker: And so I called Pops today and I was like, hey, uh, if I do this, this and this, because he, my dad being a plumber, he knows gas lines and water lines like the back of his hands. And, uh, I said, Hey, if I put my gas tank, uh, X amount of inches from the range, he's like, no, no big deal. It's just like having the, uh, the gas line underneath them won't be a problem. I was like, okay, cool. And.

Speaker: Well, it's good that your house is made of concrete or cement. So when your gas line blows up, your house... Oddly enough, one of my neighbors, that happened to her, her tank. She had guys working, they were building her wall and putting in a sliding glass door in her back. And they hit a brick. They hit the concrete wall to break out the concrete. And I don't know if the hammer slipped or whatever, but they exploded the fucking gas tank in the backyard.

Speaker: Oh, shit. Yeah. It shook the windows on my house and that is like 15 houses away. And I was like, damn, it was like half tank. So I was like, let's not play that game no more. Yeah. Let's not go blowing up the neighborhood. Yeah. Well, uh,

Speaker: The way I did it, like I showed you in the pictures, I got a barrier between where the range is going to be and where the gas tank is. I just want to be able to hide my fucking gas tank because it's unsightly. Yeah, it just throws off the whole feng shui. Yeah, because I'm so feng shui. Yeah. So are you going to... I know this is kind of a silly question, but I ain't talking to you, so I do need to ask.

Speaker: Are you going to make it where it's easily accessible? Because don't you have to take that physical gas tank? Yes. Well, actually, like I said, where the gas tank is, I have the gas tank is about 10 inches wide at its widest point because it's a round cylinder. And I have an 11 inch space where it sits that is 29 inches deep.

Speaker: So I could literally put two gas tanks in there. But I'm going to put a door on the front. So when the gas tanks installed and filled, you won't see it. And then when I need to take it out, I open the door, slide the gas tank out, switch out the gas tank and rock out back again. Nice. So it'll fit. I don't know what that attachment was you sent me. It didn't come through. It'll basically be.

Speaker: 100 % hidden and I'll gain, I think in total I'll gain about 3 feet of counter space with what I'm doing. Yeah, just under 3 feet, more like 2 .5 but a very important 2 .5 and I'm gonna add drawers.

Speaker: along with the doors because when they built the house, they built the fucking counters out of particle board. So what happens when particle board gets wet, Chris? It falls a fucking car becomes a becomes a fucking sloppy becomes a sloppy fucking car. I took the old countertop off and as I lifted up, you know, it's got screws on it. You know, I did, I did all the screws and I picked it up and the fucker fell apart.

Speaker: Oh, because I have a 10 year old and a six year old that like to help out and do dishes. Well, helping out when you're 10 and six makes a mess. So, you know, they, of course had water over them. And the one side where the sink was, I don't know if you can see it back here. This side right here was just gone. Gone. So.

Speaker: Uh, like it was, I literally had pieces of wood underneath of the counter holding it up. That you guys just moved in there though. I mean, that's the problem. No, you guys haven't been there a year yet. Have you? Well, we've been here two years. We moved in 2019. Okay. We moved in my birthday 2019. And, uh, you know, so we did our quarantine in the new house. No big deal.

Speaker: But the problem is, like I said, these are – they're cookie -cutter houses. The company that builds them builds all 63 houses at once and then sells them one by one. So you use the cheapest material because you've got to build 63 of these motherfuckers.

Speaker: That's, that's, that's the norm in general right now. I mean, all these new subdivisions, they have three, maybe four designs and they just slap them together real quick. I mean, five designs exterior, but the interior is exactly the same. Yeah. When I lived down in Charleston, um, in our division, our subdivision that we lived in, they had started the, um,

Speaker: It wasn't like the fourth or fifth, uh, phase of the addition when we were living down there and they threw up like fucking 40, 35 or 40 houses and only a couple months, but they were building them, um, to set as they sold. So, um, you know, somebody would buy.

Speaker: they would they would start it but it was crazy to watch those houses go up and how quick they're putting them up because especially when you look down on the coast and you know hurricanes come that you know them houses aren't going to withstand a hurricane. They're not built like they used to be. You and I talked about that when I was talking about my extension on my house I was going to build that I would but I don't think the hurricanes would like that.

Speaker: Well, I don't know shoes and I got everything everywhere in downstairs. So I grabbed my kids and said, fine mom shoes. Yeah. Well, not only that, not only, not only the hurricanes being an issue, but being able to actually, if you build on an addition upstairs, would you actually be able to get good supports to where it would hold and not just fall on its own? That's the other thing we were talking about. But upstairs. Oh, well, the thing is like what I want to do find them.

Speaker: I want to find the goddamn shoes and get the hell out of here. What I want to do is I want to do concrete pillars, like really hard, super hard concrete. And then I want to do steel beams. Is that a special concrete that you guys have in Mexico, the super hard concrete? No, but the way you mix it, if you super pack it,

Speaker: It's literally, I mean, you can actually, if you drill into a poured wall, I mean, you remember doing poured walls, it's literally just vibrated in. But if you were working with concrete, concrete's the boss. But if you drill into a poured wall, but you drill into one of these hard, like a support beam that's made out of concrete, it, it's a big difference.

Speaker: Like if you drill into like with a masonry bit, if you drill into a port wall, it might take you a couple of seconds. Where you drill into a beam, a concrete beam, it will take you a good minute and a half to get the same depth.

Speaker: Because it's something they put in the concrete to make it super hard, super packed. I don't know what it is, but I've ran into it on certain beams in the house, like the supporting corners of the house. I've grilled into that shit before. After 20 years of living in concrete houses, you figure out certain spots where you don't drill because it's just a bitch.

Speaker: they they put the super soldier serum into the concrete mix so then you got super super hard concrete but but i don't know what it is but it's like it's uh they they add more hardener you know there's a chemical in concrete that makes it hard you know and and they they add more of that or less of it i don't know

Speaker: I really, I really wish like a, like a, like a Mason or a concrete like guy would come in here and be like, Jeff, you're a fucking moron. Somebody get Tom Tinney on the fucking phone.

Speaker: This Jeff guys a fucking idiot concrete concrete, there's no such thing as super concrete, hard concrete, whatever's not super concrete. But there is different like, well, like when when you do you remember, in in school, when we poured concrete, we would have to do a slump test. Yeah. Okay. Well, a slump test is the the level of hardness of said concrete.

Speaker: Like how fast it will dry, how hard it will get and all that stuff. There are different levels, I promise you. I know I sound crazy. And even as I'm saying it, I feel like I sound crazy. Oh, you 100 % sound crazy. And I really hope that you'll listen to this on, you know, you'll listen to the replay. When I'm like 80 and I'm like, whoa, I was so off there.

Speaker: yeah summer said her oh that's right summer's dad is a brick mason she's gonna go ask him right now yeah oh called yeah get the man on here get him download haps and bring him on here school chris yeah well uh yeah that's not gonna happen he don't like me i'm a yankee oh yeah you got that yankee blood in here exactly what you want to talk about yankee yeah

Speaker: Yeah, a buddy passed it a tornado watch. Oh, that's. Wait, what am I asking? She, she. The difference in hardness of concrete.

Speaker: Is there such thing as super hard concrete or is this all concrete? When you do a support beam out of concrete, A, it's going to have more rebar in it, but it's B, it's going to be harder than if you do a poured wall. I think it's going to seem like it's harder because typically your support beams are thicker and yeah, they're going to have more rebar in it. So it's going to seem like it, you know, more than likely if you drill through it, you probably smack into a wall.

Speaker: rebar. Hanging a picture on it, Chris. I'm not talking about through the fucker. I'm talking like, you know, just deep, just like a quarter inch deep. Yeah, I mean, that's my walls here are brick and concrete. So like all my exterior walls are concrete. And it's an absolute fucking nightmare. Just because it's building so old, and it's an absolute fucking anybody down here owns a regular drill. Everybody's got everybody's got a hand drill.

Speaker: Like, I've bought a regular drill in years. I've only bought hammer drills in the past 20 years. Oh, damn. Y 'all be safe up there. What's going on? Pat, they got a tornado warning up in the Bronx. Her dad said, once it's hard, it's hard, unlike Jeff Spector.

Speaker: Yeah. He has a hard time getting it up nowadays because he's a creeper. I've made him aware of it now. Now when he tries to have sexy things in me. Did he really bother you? I was like, no, but it was falling for the fucking fuck. Yes, it did pop in my head, but it wasn't. It's not like I went limp because of it. Actually, it made me harder.

Speaker: Call me creepy again, dude

Speaker: He's just going to send me a message and be like, Hey bud. I'm going to send you a message like, like two o 'clock in the morning. Call me creepy again real quick. That is creepy. Thank you. You just hear in the background, we ready again. 10 days round four, bitch. Good night. Good night bud.

Speaker: Hello, Chris. Good night. They scream into the microphone. They keep the microphone at their side.

Speaker: As we're having the conversation that you need my help to get it hard your kids. It's, it's their time for bed. Yeah. Summer said once it's hard, it's hard, but there are different levels. So yeah, I don't know. Maybe I don't know. I'm not, I'm not just fun. Juan's kids are so cute since summer.

Speaker: Dev kids are 100 % mine because they are the whitest kids in the entire fucking neighborhood. They sound like it, but they don't look like it. Oh, they are. Well, the only reason they don't look like is because I spend all day out riding their bikes instead of spending in a pool. My daughter's got my daughter is like, she wears a bikini to the pool and stuff. And the day she ran downstairs to looking for a shirt and I was like, put a shirt on I can see your tan lines and she's like, Oh, I was like, please, you ain't got nothing.

Speaker: Yeah, sounds like New York's getting pounded with storms and shit up there. Pat said they're getting rainfall one to three inches an hour. Shit, Ohio, we can still find our golf ball.

Speaker: Well, in Tennessee the morning. Well, down in Tennessee where summer is the morning, dude, cause it's flooding down there, so. Yeah, right. We were talking, my wife and I were talking, and like in December or something, in Mexico City, they got an inch of snow. Now, Mexico City is like halfway between me and you.

Speaker: Yeah. Well, Texas is half Amy and you, but, you know, it's halfway in the middle of the country. And she was like, don't worry. Don't worry. I have come to terms in. And in just knowing Ohio, I can still go play golf for 12 hours. Ain't just snow in Ohio. That's nothing. She's like, they shut down schools. I was like, why? Well, that's how it is. When I lived down in Charleston, dude, I think the first year I was there, we had a quote unquote ice storm.

Speaker: And you're like, please. Yeah. We got a quarter inch of ice on the ground. Yeah. But they didn't have to shut down the bridge. Well, yeah. But they did have to shut the bridges down, uh, coming from Mount Pleasant. There's only, there's only two ways for Mount Pleasant back into the Charleston side.

Speaker: And I had to shut down both bridges because they're so high that, that yeah, that quarter inch of ice up on the top of the, up on the top of the bridges, not only because of the roads freezing and this and the other thing, but when the temperature started rising and there was ice, that ice was falling off. I mean, they were like five, six or five to six feet or bigger fucking chunks of ice lined up, just thick, just slamming down on the bridges.

Speaker: Yeah, yeah, the south is the south is not equipped to deal with the snow and ice. But just once, I know it never happened. But maybe with global warming, whatever. I just once wanted to snow in Cancun to watch people and I will literally go out to the main drag, where everybody drives and sit there and watch.

Speaker: Well, I mean, I wouldn't, I wouldn't say never because, uh, a few years back, uh, it might've been five, five years ago now. Uh, we got a blizzard down in Charleston and, uh, it, it rain. I'm so close to the equator. I can touch it. Well, I mean, you know, but, uh,

Speaker: But it rained for like three days beforehand, like heavy rains. And then right in the middle of the rain, the temperature had dropped enough to where the rain turned into snow. And it was just white. I mean, you just couldn't see anything. So all that rain and everything was frozen. Yeah. All that rain.

Speaker: No, no, I get it. But we got about seven and a half, almost eight inches of snow, man, and it shut down Charleston for about two weeks. Jesus. And the Walmart around the corner, I think I was telling, I've told you about this before, the Walmart around the corner, the employees wound up just staying there. And the Walmart around the corner for me stayed open. And I'm like, well, I can drive in this shit. This is in his truck. It's great for this truck going up. You guys need a ride home? I mean, shit.

Speaker: Five bucks a piece. Yeah. Well, they just stayed open and whatnot. So I went down there. Yeah, I went down there and got got food and shit and stuff. And it was crazy. I mean, Charleston shut down. They're just they're not equipped for it. So any little bit of winter weather, like most, yeah, like most southern states, they just they're not equipped for it. They don't know how to take care of it. They don't have salt. They don't have plow trucks or anything like that.

Speaker: And Summer said, yeah, well, we just saw how hard Texas got hit last winter. Did you see that blizzard Texas got smoked with? It's up there. I'll give you one second. Kill those goddamn iguanas and eat them. I'm going to talk to you for a minute. Most drivers up north are not. Yeah, most drivers period in Ohio. It's the same way. What's up, bud? Hello, bud. What you doing, man? Right now, I'm really worried. I'm eating some yogurt.

Speaker: I thought you were supposed to be going to bed. Now you're eating yogurt. Now you're on the podcast again? Yeah. You helping your old man fix the kitchen? Yeah. Are you learning anything? Are you using a table saw on your flip flops? No, I'm using crocs. You got crocs.

Speaker: You got what kind of crocs you got? You got like camouflage, tie dye. Yellow and black. Yellow and black. You got any of those those little things that you clip on there? I don't know what they're called. I see a quiz. Where are you? Kevin, I see a quiz. Michelle's looking into front of the camera. Yeah. You know, I don't think so.

Speaker: You don't think so? Are you sure? Yeah, I'm sure. When are you guys going to have the kitchen done? Tomorrow. Wait, wait. Tomorrow? Yep. Hi, Michelle. She probably can't hear me. Hi. I think I hear you. She's very close to hear you. Yeah, I was going to say, can you hear through the earphones? Can you hear her? Yes. She's with you.

Speaker: the podcast. The podcast has just become a daycare where Jeff leaves and he's like, here, click, watch my kids. That's a good thing. You guys look like your mom and you don't look like your dad. Yeah, you probably want to do that.

Speaker: What's going on, Miss Krista? It's okay, it's your turn. Do you want to talk for a minute? You can let her talk, Kev. Good thing they look like Jeff's wife and not Jeff. Hey, what's going on, Miss Krista?

Speaker: Think Jeff got a lot. Can you hear? Can you hear me? Yes. Oh, you moved your dad's mic. He's gonna be mad. That's Kevin. Kevin moved the mic. Yeah. Are you helping with the kitchen too? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker: Are you having fun doing it? Yeah. Yeah. Did your dad let you use any power tools? Yeah. Have you guys got to use any of the power tools? Power tools? I've been using the drill. Yeah, like the saw or the drill or anything? I've been using the drill. Using the drill? Yeah. That's the only thing I'm using right now.

Speaker: Why don't you're using the saw? Oh, why not? I put my finger right into the gap by accident and my finger gets stuck in there. I bet you the skin is still in that piece. Did you, did you cut your finger or anything? No, I'm good.

Speaker: just kind of pinched it a little bit. I'm good for now. You're good. How you uh how you liking your new bike you got for your birthday? It's awesome. I heard you wrecked the other night. Yeah. How many times you wrecked on it so far? Like let's say uh let me look on my foot.

Speaker: You got to look at your foot. So you got to look at your foot. What do you got? Like tally marks on your foot for how many times you've wrecked? How you doing, Chris? Having a script like free time. Well, as long as you as long as you don't hit yourself with the stomach anymore with your handlebars, you should be good. I don't know. I didn't hit my stomach. I hit my ribs. Oh, your ribs. Well, either way, pretty much the same thing.

Speaker: Yeah, but the good thing about hoping is you get stronger. You get stronger and stronger and you practice on my dad's coming. Yeah, he's coming back. See you later, buddy.

Speaker: And that will, and that will conclude the kids corner segment of the show. Thank God. We weren't like having some kind of horrible, awful conversation. And Jeff's like, here, talk to my kids. Yeah, sorry. My wife was looking for something. She's actually getting ready to go out. She has to, one of her friends is having drama. And I'm like, she's like, one of her friends is in drama mode. Drama drama.

Speaker: One's not taking the whole of her being off work and him not getting to see her on a regular basis too well. Now one of her friends is having problems with her boyfriend. She's like, don't want to go well. I'm like, all right, see you later. Bye, bitch. Well, you know how it is. It's like she's been home for a week. I know I'm wrong. I love my wife. After a week, I'm like, get the fuck out. Well, she has somewhere to be, somewhere else to go. Right. Hey, you guys need to go to bed now.

Speaker: No, Pat, I totally, how's it going all about Jesus? Welcome, welcome. Pat, I totally understand the going outside and feeling like you just stepped or coming back in and feeling like you just stepped out of the shower. Yesterday, I was sitting here and I was getting that computer and everything all ready to go so I could, you know, edit and publish the Saturday show.

Speaker: And, uh, my neighbor, she's, she's moving out, knocked on my door. And at first I was like, somebody knocking on my door. It's like 11 o 'clock in the morning on a Tuesday. Why the hell nobody, nobody ever comes over here. So I went over there and I like looked out the window because I wasn't a hundred percent sure somebody knocked on my door and sure enough, she was standing there. It's all my door. And she was like, I hate to bother you, but, uh,

Speaker: Uh, I got a few more things in here that I just got thrown in the dumpster. You know, they're heavier or they're bigger. And, um, she's like, do you think you could help me? And I was like, yeah, sure. No worries. I don't care. And, uh, as soon as I got started, it just started pouring down rain. I was like, yeah, you gotta be fucking. Yeah. I was like, you gotta be fucking kidding me. Like it was raining on and off again. On and off again. So the way it weathers. Yeah.

Speaker: Yeah, exactly. So then I come in and I'm fucking soaked. Right. And I was like, damn it, I just changed my shirt and everything like that. And I should screw it. You know what? I ain't got nowhere else to be today. Love you, too. Go to bed.

Speaker: I ain't got nowhere else to be today. I'm fucking I'm slumming it much like I did when I came on today. I was just like like a basketball shorts like a T -shirt real quick. I'll stop the laundry basket clean clean laundry basket. Don't judge me to put away three loads of laundry

Speaker: Even though I re just rebuilt a fucking closet and I still haven't put laundry. Yeah. Well, that's the thing. I just did the laundry. I just did the laundry. I've got the laundry all done Sunday. And before I did laundry, I had to put the laundry away from the previous laundry weekend. So, well, no, I, the problem is, is like when my wife is home for

Speaker: for one day, my brain just goes, Oh, time off for dead too. So we don't do shit. We sit in line bed, we watch TV and we do other things. You know, we shoot the shit we play games on phones. She she's a fucking part cheesy freak. This chick's got a part cheesy game on her phone. She will play till the fucking cows come home. And so we'll play cheesy because you could play on you play online with other people.

Speaker: So we'll go into a room and we'll play partizi and basically like move six and then you kill this guy. You know, she basically helps me cheat because I suck at it. We play as a team, but so the entire time she was home, nothing really got done except when it came to meals. I'd run downstairs. I'd clean up real quick and fucking go back up to the bedroom, eat and watch TV and

Speaker: Uh, cook a meal, do it again, you know, throughout the day. So this past week with her being home, I did laundry for the entire, like I do two weeks of laundry at once. So we're getting low on laundry. I got to do laundry again, but it's like, I didn't do shit last week. I know I didn't do shit, but neither did she. So it's okay.

Speaker: But well, yeah, and that's that's the thing back into the swing of things. Yeah. Oh, hey, all about Jesus. Don't worry about it. You don't need no apologies needed. It's it's all good. Don't worry about it. That lady's psychopath. Who? I remember a few weeks back when I got into this psychopath on here. Yeah. One of the people, one of the one of the one of the people that were in the

Speaker: Uh, the chat that I was actually talking to, she, she just came in and she's like, Hey, I wanted to apologize for that the way you were treated and whatnot. And, uh, she just hasn't had a phone or whatever. I was, I ain't worried about that. I don't care. It is what it is. Yeah.

Speaker: Most of the stuff like that just goes off us like water off a duck's back. We don't care. Yeah. No, I mean, you got to be worked up. I said what I had to say and then I didn't even care about it the next day. Yeah, exactly. We don't, we don't hold grudges. But, um, yeah, you know, the thing, the thing with laundry, like, um, during the summer, it was a little bit different because even the kids just change their clothes. Like, um, not every time. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker: But like for me, I can, because I go to work and I come home and I take a shower and I put a pair of basketball shorts on and

Speaker: a t -shirt and I'll wear the same pair of basketball shirts shorts and t -shirt for like three days you know because all I'm doing is literally coming home taking the shower putting on clothes yeah and it's sitting on my fat ass so um so yeah I do laundry like once a week once once every other week or something like that just depending upon you know what's going on and whatnot like that but again as we've said before I've got like nine million shirts so I can

Speaker: I've got like nine million shirts and three million pairs of basketball shorts and sweatpants. So I'm good. Yeah. Well, like, like me, I, I literally, I do the basically the same thing every day. You know, I, I turn on my news and listen to the bullshit that the world is talking about while I clean the house. And, you know, at night, before I go to bed, I shower, shave, well, shower, I don't shave anymore.

Speaker: fuck all that. And, you know, when I go to bed, I wear basically, I don't want it possible. So I basically wear swim trunks to bed. And that's it. If that Yeah, I, I, I wash my bad, my swim trunks like once a once a week, you know, because I just wear them to bed or to the pool. I'm such a fucking bum cleaning them, right?

Speaker: Yeah, I mean, it's cool. You got chlorine in the pool. Yeah, I mean, it is what it is. I'm not I'm not here to judge. I will judge the shit. I'm a weird guy. I have a question for you. When you go to the pool, what do you fucking do in the pool? Swim like when you go to the pool, how long would you be at the pool if you had a pool at the house and you went? Thank you. How would you go to the pool? If I had a pool at my house, right?

Speaker: I would probably be there every day. Yeah, you say that now. I said the same thing when we moved in here. I can count on, I think I've been to the pool maybe 20 times in two years. When we first moved down to Charleston, the first apartment we had, they had a pool at the, at the complex. And we were in there three to four times a week when it was open. Oh, my kids go to the pool daily if they can.

Speaker: Mondays, you can't go to the pool because that's when they clean the pool. Well, hell, when we went down to Pippin Forge, that's all the goddamn kids wanted to do was go to the pool with the condo. I was like, we're going to go to Gatlinburg. We're going to go to Dollywood. I get in the pool, and five minutes later, I'm like, fucking, we can go in the house. Yeah, I like to go to the pool after work and relax. It's a nice place to cool off. When our power went out, our power was out until

Speaker: Uh, when it went out during the podcast, it went out and then it came back on, uh, at like two o 'clock the next day. Yeah. I take the kids to the pool because, you know, there was no air, there's no fans, there's nothing we're fucking sweating our balls off. So we just went to the pool and, you know, hung out in the pool for a little bit. I stay in the shade because, you know, I'm very white and I burn like you read about. Yeah. Oh, well, that's good to hear Ms. Krista.

Speaker: My kids look more and more Mexican every day because they spend all the time in the sun and pool. Yeah. This app's actually pretty easy to figure out. You'll get it, Krista. In the chatters, but she's finally back to work. And she's not used to this app. They say all about Jesus said she would relax, lay out, relax, put music on and cook out. That's what she'd do at the pool.

Speaker: Well, see, the thing is, like, I don't mind, you know, the problem is, is like, it's one thing if there's a bunch of people at the pool, but if it's just me and the kids, I'm like, uh, can we go back in the house? Yeah. Because you know, don't worry. I love my kids, but it's like after about 10 minutes of the pool, I'm like, uh, now, now me, if you and I were in a pool, I can toss a football back and all, all fucking day.

Speaker: Yeah. The next day my arm will be ready to fall off. But the problem is my kid can't catch the football to save his life. Well, you got to teach him. My daughter can't throw a football to save her life. I'm absolutely teaching him. But I took my brother -in -law, Mr. Pants, way too tight.

Speaker: too much close skinny jeans. 25 ,000. Yeah. Oh my god. I was like, dude, you're 16. What the fuck are you watching Shrek for? Hey, watch the channel. Come on, man. You know, that's all comparison. I'm sure I can hear donkey. There you go. Because I can't shut up.

Speaker: like that. You said it not me. I was thinking it. That's why you're saying it. But but I took him to the pool and I took him to the pool and my wife was in a pool and everything I told I said, Jason, let's throw the fucking football around. So I sent my son and go get the football. And he threw it with two hands at me. Well, your brother was probably right at his face.

Speaker: his face like fucking I was fucking Joe. Kind of like adversity blues with with mocks. Yes. Right. Because and he's like, What are you doing so hard? I said because you threw it with two fucking hands. Because you throw like my wife. My wife was like, Why did you throw it his face? I said because he threw two hands. I said only fags and girls throw like that.

Speaker: Now I don't get me wrong. My brother's very, very gay. So easy, easy on the, on the hard F word there. I know. It's a very hard. My brother and his gay friends have given me permission to call people that throw a football with two hands facts.

Speaker: Well, I mean, that would be like, hey, my black friends gave me permission to use Edward. It doesn't mean that I'm going to go and use it freely, all willy -nilly, you know? I'll use it around them. Have you seen the family guy clip where it's the end of the world? He's like, I'm going out to the black neighborhood and saying the n -word. He goes out there and he's like, and then it comes back and he's wearing a crown. He's like, they made me their king. They respected me.

Speaker: I saw that clip the other day on TikTok, I almost fucking died. I was like, hell yeah. He's like, they respected me. They respected me. Krista said she gets lobstered, too. So she burns like you do. And she lives in Florida. Well, I don't tan. Because I'm an asshole that literally, like today, I was building this fucking kitchen.

Speaker: I went out in the sun. I'm sure I have a farmer's tan right now because I just went out and fucking in the sun and I'm cutting wood and going back and forth. And I don't think about it until the next morning where I'm like, Oh, I can't move. Yeah. Well, since you asked all about Jesus, yes, we are on Facebook. We're on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, and Twitch all under nonsensical nonsense. All about Jesus asked if we were on Facebook.

Speaker: Oh, we're everywhere. And we are on Facebook live right now. We're actually live right now on, yeah, we're also live, we're actually live right now on YouTube, Twitch and Facebook and here on HAPS. Our YouTube channel is just basically replays of the fucking podcast. It's just, yeah, because as Jeff and I had a conversation earlier today that we, we have both slacked on our social media duties more him than I. I actually posted two pictures on Instagram today.

Speaker: I know you posted one picture that I just posted the other day, and I'm like, this person's best. Yours was black. Yours was black background, mine was black background. So fuck you. Yeah, racist bastard. I noticed yours was a black background, so I put one up with those white backgrounds. I think it looks better with the black background on it at all. I do too. But I only had the white background, so I posted it.

Speaker: But then I posted my design that I worked very hard on and you shit all over. You're like, I did not shit all over. You don't use it. I worked hard on that bitch. That's because mine are better. I shaded and I airbrushed and I think I worked on that thing for like an hour and a half. And you shit all over by going, eh,

Speaker: It's okay. As many, are you, are you from North or South Carolina? Any chance? I know some dales down in that area. Um, as I told Cameron, speaking of dales, as I told Cameron last night, as I was stomping a mud hole in him and Madden. Nice. Which Matt, because Matt is coming out. It's already out. Is it? I just saw an ad for it.

Speaker: I haven't played Madden since 98, so. Yeah, Madden 21. I'm not going to. I'm not going to. Madden was on regular Nintendo. Yeah. I'm not going to. I'm not going to buy.

Speaker: I'm not going to buy the new Madden because I have, on the Xbox, I have the ultimate game pass. So I get the Xbox goal or Xbox gold or whatever. So you can go online and play live or play, you know, play online and this and the other thing. But also there's like over a hundred games that you can download for free. And with the ultimate game pass, you also get the EA pass. So all EA games you essentially get for free. So I was like, I'm just going to wait a couple of months and Madden will be free. And then I'm going to download it because last year,

Speaker: Well, yeah, last year I fucking bought Madden 21. And then literally I shit you not a week after I bought Madden 21, the son of a bitch was free. I was like, Oh, that's the funny thing. You know, people were bitching about watching Black Widow on Disney Plus. I was like, dude, just wait three weeks. It'll be free. Yeah. Because Cruella came out, which by the way, amazing fucking movie. I loved it. When it came out, I liked it. You didn't watch. Did you see it?

Speaker: Emma Stone is amazing actress and she plays Cruella de Vil like the fucking champ. But people were like $30 fuck blah blah blah blah and people watched paid for it and watched it. I didn't do that. I waited three weeks and just watched it for free. And I did the same thing with Black Widow. Yeah. Well, again, like I said, I'm going to

Speaker: Have you seen Black Widow yet? No, not yet. No, no, no, no, no. Oh my God, dude. Again, again, I'm waiting until they just... It's free now. It is free. It's out now. Well, I haven't been on Disney Plus. I think it's next week. I don't know. I need to repay my Disney Plus because I just got a notification today saying I need to pay it. And I was like, fuck. Because I was going to watch Turner and Hooch tonight.

Speaker: because I, have you seen that show? You, you said you watched a couple of episodes. Yeah. I watched the first three episodes. We haven't, we haven't watched it. I want to watch it. I will try to send you one. Uh, when we get done tonight. All right. Uh, Miss Christian answer your question. She's doing better. She's got her energy back. Now she thinks she's got an ear infection, but, uh, she's, she's doing better. She's feeling better. Can't she?

Speaker: Yeah. Well, that's what she said. She's like, I just can't, can't catch a break. And I'm like, well, I mean, in all honesty, you kind of did because, you know, a lot of people are ending up in the hospital and they're on respirators and everything else when they get COVID. Well, I think, I think, uh, uh, as much as I shit on the vaccine, I think it does help with the symptoms. Uh, going back to what Brad said, he said, you know, he's unvaccinated. He was like, fuck that. I'm not getting the vaccine.

Speaker: but he said when he got COVID, he said it was a motherfucker. Like he wanted to die, just take it over with his words. He's like, I wish it would have killed me just so it would have been over with. And the way some of this was like really bad cold. Yeah, I mean, it seems like I said, Summer and I were talking about that today when I was on the way home from work.

Speaker: you know, unlike with like the flu or this and the other thing where pretty much if you get the flu, it's the same symptoms for pretty much everybody. When you, when you get the flu at the end of the day, but with COVID it's, it's, it's affected everybody differently. I mean, it's a roll of the dice. You don't know what the fuck you're going to get. So, well, yeah. Well, the funny thing is I off, off subject. I saw a video today, uh, on, uh,

Speaker: on Facebook and this guy grabs a medical textbook from 1979. He opens it up and he's looking down through the text and it says coronavirus. And then it shows what the layman's term for it, common cold. No joke, common cold. But, Graham, this is 19. So, you know. Yeah, I was going to say this is a different story. It's been genetically modified. You know, it's not like

Speaker: you know, Bob's coronavirus. Well, as we know, Jeffrey, and as I've told you a million times, you cannot get all your political

Speaker: news or Corona news or anything like that off of TikTok and Facebook. And with that being said, basically in layman's terms is you can't believe everything you hear and see on the internet. But one thing you can believe that you see on the internet. That's something I commented on on Summers post. She posted something where she was she was talking shit about her her coronavirus.

Speaker: And I was like, you know what? I find it odd that you haven't been fact -checked. Yeah, right. Well, like I said. Because she posted like, oh, if you do have a quarantine ticket, like a lavender bath or something like that, I forget what she said. And she says it really helped. And I was like, oddly enough, you haven't been fact -checked. Yeah, right. Because, I mean, she was like, it helped so much because she was talking, remember on Saturday, she was talking about she could only smell

Speaker: whatever she put in her nose, like mint or whatever it was. And she was talking. She's stuck up her nose. I feel what she said. I don't even remember that she was sick. She was sticking everything up. I was like, I was reading what she posted on Facebook. And I was like, where's the fucking fact check? There's any time in which but anything coronavirus, there's a fact check underneath of it. Oh, yeah. And and I was like, I find it odd that you didn't get fact checked on that.

Speaker: Yeah. Well, I mean, it happens, but as I was saying, you know, um, you can't believe everything you read on the internet or see on the, no, no, but one thing you can believe assault as it is. Yeah. But one thing you can believe, and that is blacked out Mojo is a killer fucking band, which means we're going to take ourselves a little, a little five minute break guys. We will be right back after some.

Speaker: i'm tipsy uh oh oh god i broke it oh there it is

Speaker: Better than to let you go alone It's times like these I can't make it on my own Wasting days and sleepless nights And I can't wait to see you again I've finally spent my time waiting on you cold

Speaker: I'll cannot tell you, babe, my back's against you I need you by my side to tell me it's alright Cause I don't think I can take anymore Is this love that I'm feeling? Is this the love?

Speaker: I've been searching for is this love or am I dreaming this must be love cause it's really gotta be love

Speaker: I've been this way before But with you I've found the key To who I really do I can feel my love for you Going stronger day by day And I can't wait to see you again So I can hold you in my arms Is this love that I'm feeling?

Speaker: Is this a love that I've been searching for? Is this love or am I dreaming this must be love?

Speaker: Is this love that I'm feeling? Is this a love that I've been searching for? Is this love or am I dreaming this must be love?

Speaker: Hold on me

Speaker: Alright. And we are back. Welcome back to non -surgical nonsense. If I hadn't already, I would sing my all the time. Yeah. Well, that's what Matt does. So, uh, obviously that's what he does. But uh, I would totally be in a band too. Oh yeah. You just walk around, just randomly fucking sing. I'd be in the grocery store just singing.

Speaker: But, uh, I'm not trying to be weird, but does that dude even put on pants? Hey, Jeff, you're thinking about what I just said. No, I'm not being creepy because I don't know if Matt's married or not, but that dude must get some serious tail. I think he does have a significant other. So, so maybe not, but I'm sure he could. Yeah.

Speaker: But, uh, anyways, if I can get this out, shut the fuck up. Jesus Christ. We'll go back to that physical nonsense. If, uh, if you're not already, go ahead and go, uh, check out the social media, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Tik TOK YouTube, Twitch, go give it a thumbing.

Speaker: And if you wanna get any episode out of the podcast, you can find us on Spotify, Google, Apple, pretty much anywhere you get your podcast jollies, we will be there. All you gotta do is say, hey, give me nonsensical nonsense. And you're gonna get nonsensical nonsense. And if you're interested in coming on the show, and we find you mildly entertaining like ourselves, then we might bring you out. So reach out to us and shoot us an email.

Speaker: at the bar really low. Not the shit on us, but we are, we are mildly entertaining.

Speaker: But as we set the bar low and we're mildly entertaining, where can people email us at, Jeffrey? They can email us at nonsensical nonsense podcast at gmo .com. Sorry. I was just saying you set me up for the bar low thing. Yeah. And as we said, yes, that is

Speaker: music from Blacktop Mojo. Shout out to those guys. Thanks as always for letting us use their music and go check them out on social media. They're everywhere at Blacktop Mojo, everywhere and anywhere. Just Google him into Google box. Say, Hey, give me Blacktop Mojo. I just got done listening to nonsense. And then when you get there, say, yeah. And when you get there, you say, Hey, Matt, Hey cat.

Speaker: Not because they know who we are it's more just to confuse the shit out of them so I Just want them to do a video like a tick tock video or something or something's like nonsensical nonsense to us and they're like

Speaker: I'm going to talk to Matt about that. Well, in order to do that, you would have to, you would have to get on social media first and foremost. Unfortunately, it sounds weird being a stay at home dad. I literally don't have time to sit on my phone all day.

Speaker: says the guy who's also said in several episodes that I sit around bored as shit all day because I don't have anything to do. Well, no, but when I run out of shit to do, yeah, that's what I do. I grab my phone. Well, back back to what we were talking about before we took a little break break. Summer said because she's right, she doesn't need to be fact checked. And she also said one thing you can believe Jeff is that I'm a savage. She's a savage.

Speaker: No, I was, um, I was, um, I was actually kind of wondering where summer's been tonight, but I should have known better. Um, she's off cheating. She's, uh, yeah, she's over there hanging out with Kevin. So that's kind of, that's, that's kind of cold hearted. That's a low blow. I already seen you in there.

Speaker: I was wondering where she was because Krista was in here and Krista's a friend of mine heard like a way back and her and Summer become friends. And I was like, okay, this is why Summer's not talking to Krista. Now I know why. Now I know why. We see where your loyalties lie. You shall be judged. Are you enjoying the mask and anti -vax rants for the 475th time?

Speaker: You know, I, I tuned in earlier when I got home and I got home for, for a second. I was going to go say hi to him. I literally lasted 30 seconds because he was on a complete tirade about mask. And I'm like, we've already heard the same fucking story a million times, dude. Why am I a dick?

Speaker: on that same lines, I was talking to my wife and we were watching something. And I was like, Oh, you're fucking hypocrite. And you know, I went off on some politician, watching, she's like, you know, if you want to talk politics, do it on a podcast, start your own fucking pod, another podcast, where you talk politics as a one of my Kevin fucking Holly giveaway from

Speaker: Oh my god, I I think it was a bad idea for me to say

Speaker: No more questions, but I tell you, if you have a problem figuring out whether you're from me or Trump, then you ain't black. You ain't black. Yeah.

Speaker: People. I love it. I love that. That's how more cooks me up so much. Except for the nonsensical nonsense. Both have shaved their heads and beards live at 500 bucks is raised. How much nonsense is in this plant and go? I think I think I'm going to like my wife will shoot me in the fucking face.

Speaker: You know, maybe, maybe down the road, we can do a little charity thing. I'll put my hair and beard on the line for a charity. The charity of my wallet. My wife hates it when I shave. She says I look like a little kid.

Speaker: Because when I shave, I literally look like I'm 12 years old. Yeah. Well, so do I. And I got a big fat face. Yeah. Well, that too, I'm sure I got a triple chin down here somewhere. I think that would actually be really cool. Joe, that's a hell of an idea. You know, maybe down the road we'll do a little charity. Let me get my beard a little bit longer and whatnot and grow my hair out a little bit more.

Speaker: You know, we do a little charity thing and we, whatever money we, we raise, we can send to a good cause, not just fucking wallet because he's a bitch. I'm not shaving my beard for your laptop phone. You always talk about the, if this podcast ever makes money. Well, there you go. Yeah. Yeah. I was going to say the joke.

Speaker: Joe is a friend of mine from down in Charleston. We used to work together at Orkin. He's like, I remember beardless, Chris. Yeah. Because at Orkin, I couldn't have my beard. And that's what they said in the interview. They're like, if you were offered the job, will you have any problems shaving your beard off? And I was like, how much does it pay again?

Speaker: I have I have a story about my brother. What's going on random Rick random Rick in the chat said uh uh he's hanging out on Twitch with us uh he said I like I like how these these folks say they have to wear these dirty masks I mean change your fucking mask you change your underwear daily you dirty son bitch

Speaker: You know, the funniest thing I've seen about masks is, is I say also I mean, is, is it shows a person holding, putting their mask below their nose. It says wearing your mask like this. And then underneath it shows a person with their dick hanging out of their pants and says, is like wearing your pants like this. And I was like, thank you fucking point. And if I could get away with walking around with my dick hanging out, I totally would. Yeah, right.

Speaker: Oh, I would totally rock off my dick just all day long. No, but my brother, my brother told me a story. My brother, my brother did a, he was working for a job where he did, uh, he was a repo man for a bank and he was doing really well. And somebody had it in for him. Somebody didn't like him or something. So they, they told the bosses that he was selling crack. Now my brother's.

Speaker: I mean, I think the biggest thing my brother's ever done was weed, which I know for a fact, cause he used to tell me he used to roll weed and the Joe Burr plumbing, plumbing, heating truck. But, uh, so he goes into the office and he's sitting there and he's, and they said, uh, Jim, we heard a complaint that you're selling crack. And my brother, without skipping a fucking beat stood up, turn around, dropped his pants and stuck his ass in their face and said, yeah, 50 bucks a hit boys. Who's first?

Speaker: And I was like, fuck yeah! And then he fucking pulled up his pants and walked out the fucking door and said, fuck you. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on your filthy son, bitch. Every time somebody says crack, that's what I think of. I don't know why. I'm selling crack. He's, yeah, 50 bucks a hit, boys. Who's first? Take your licks.

Speaker: he said that was one of the most funnest jobs he ever had though because literally the bank owned the title so if you wrecked it on the way home nobody cared so they'd go pick up these fucking uh corvettes and customized vehicles that are you know 600 800 horsepower

Speaker: in a car that literally came stock like 110. And they had one guy, they called him crash because he delivered less cars than he crashed on the way home. Because he's like, fuck it, the bank owns it. I was like, fuck yeah, that sounds cool.

Speaker: Bring them all, fuck it. He actually, speaking of shaving the beard thing, you know, this is back in the mid 90s. My brother got offered a job to drive an ambulance. And he's, they said, you will shave your beard and you will be clean shaving every day. And he says, you will suck my dick and walked out of the interview. He says, I don't mind if you ask, but if you say you will, fuck you.

Speaker: Because that's just opening the door for other wills. You will do this. You will do that. Yeah. Well, you know, when I, when I took the job at Ork and, you know, and even now, like a lot of guys have beards and that's like their whole fucking identity. I mean, that's all every, every dude with a beard on TikTok. That's her entire fucking identity. And I'm just lazy to shave. That's, that's all mine is. I just like my beard now.

Speaker: You know, um, but, uh, uh, when I got, when I, yeah, I just, I just liked my beard and it comes with a laziness factor too. And it hides my fat round face. So, um, but I was like, Hey, you know, whatever I'll shave my beard for.

Speaker: you know, paid good and had a company truck and you know, it was a pretty cool job. I would shave every day if somebody paid me to do it. Yeah, but now they used to yell at me a lot because I'd come in in the morning and I would be clean shaven. But by the time I came back in in the evening time, per their standards, I'm like, you guys literally just see me. You want my shave?

Speaker: Yeah. I mean, that's, that's exactly what happened. One of my service managers, he's like, dude, I'm, this is such dumb shit. I'm tired of hearing them bitch or whatever. Something that you have no control over. So he bought me an electric shaver and he was like, just, just clean it up a little. Yeah. Like, uh, our battery battery powered, uh, shaver thing. Yeah. With the car charger. And he was like, you have to come into the office in the evening. Just, just clean it up real quick. That way they'll shut the fuck up because fuck all that noise.

Speaker: Hey, thanks for stopping by random Rick. Appreciate your brother. Have a good day. Have a good night, brother. But, uh, now I'm at the point where, you know, you know, I kind of like my beard and I don't want to shave it. So, you know, and I can live for an interview or something like that. It's like, Hey, uh, this could be a problem because, uh, if it is, we can go walk out now. No, but it means like, I, I.

Speaker: I, of course, of course, also being in 2021, all I have to do is say it's a religious thing. And most people don't want to offend. Yeah, exactly. Well, like, uh, when I was working, uh, with doing the job, my wife does go into the hotels and stuff. They won't let you in if you don't shave. And I'm like, and I was like, yeah, I just don't need to go to that hotel.

Speaker: Because as a as a seller of tours, I'm a fucking independent contractor, basically. You know, I, I basically work for my as a salesperson in general, you are you work for yourself, you determine your page, when you work on commission, you determine your paycheck by how much you sell. Yeah. And so,

Speaker: And unless we forget, 90 % of the people that will literally sit in front of me are wearing a bathing suit. They don't care if I'm clean shaven. They just want to go to the water park or they want to go jet skis or whatever.

Speaker: Well, I think as long as it's kept up and not out of control, which you and I have had the conversation about you cleaning up your beard, some and, and all that jazz, it was like, I'll clean mine up and edge mine up. Uh, while we're doing our pre -show bullshit, it takes me like five minutes.

Speaker: If that, I clean it up, I edge it up and then I straighten it. Yeah. I clean it up, edge it out. Yeah. I edge it, clean it and straighten it in like five minutes. Well, it's just so much more.

Speaker: I've never been that. Have you seen these guys literally before they go out to the club? I'm sure you've seen clips of Jersey Shore. These guys that literally would make sure every hair is in place. I've never been that guy. I wear a hat. I'm like, Hey, we're going to the club. I throw on a different shirt. I'm ready to go. Let's go. Yeah. You know, I'm not that guy that literally like, I gotta be fresh to death and fuck that.

Speaker: You know? I've never been one to like, if this is the ABCs of me, if what you see is what you get, period, end of story. You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, there's nothing, it's not even a fact that - I know I'm not a fucking Kardashian. Yeah. It's not a matter of being fresh and being clean. I just, I'm under the, I have the opinion that if you're going to have a beard, and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with your beard, if you're going to have a beard, take care of it.

Speaker: You know, clean it up, make it look right. I put, I put, my wife can do that. And still, you, you, you can do that and still keep it cleaned up and whatnot. Um, like I put, I put a little in my beard almost every day. I don't always put beer cream in my hair. Yeah. I use shampoo and conditioner on my beard. Yeah. Um, but I put shampoo. I fucking took a shot. I got done building all this shit today.

Speaker: And I got in the shower and my kids have used all the shampoo. I washed my hair with bar soap. I literally was like, where's all the fucking shampoo? Yeah, there's like three gallons of fucking conditioner laying everywhere because my wife is one of those chicks that literally shampoos conditions and oils or air and all that shit. My wife has spent more money on makeup than I have on cars. And, and

Speaker: I literally got in the shower after fucking busting ass on this crap all day, yelling at my kids to help me. And as I said, if I could do it by myself, I totally would, but some things when you're building stuff, you need a extra hand if you don't have clamps laying around. Cause I know it sounds dumb, but clamps are expensive. Talking bar clamp is $25. That is, that is, that is like your tagline.

Speaker: I want to do all this crazy shit, but I don't want to spend any money for it. Well, it's not even I mean, don't be wrong. If I had a billion, if I was Jeff fucking Bezos, I would have more clamps than any person on the planet.

Speaker: Because the one thing in woodworking is, you could never have enough clamps. If you ever had a billion dollars, I would have to come and personally kick your ass for buying stupid shit. Because you would buy the dumbest fucking shit on the planet. I would literally be like, give me four of those, give me six of those, give me three of those. I need 400 fucking clamps. Oh no, 400 is not enough. I would literally go, it's 800 or nothing. Easy.

Speaker: I literally was talking to my wife the other day. We play this game when we can't sleep. Wait, wait. Yeah, go ahead. Literally. You were literally talking to your wife. My wife and I play this game and I do this game. I play this game by myself talking to her figuratively. If I can't sleep.

Speaker: I would literally play a game in my head saying if someone gave me a billion dollars, what would I do? And I know exactly what I'd do. I'd spend the next three days online buying tools. I know I would. I would buy a nice truck and I would buy every tool I could think of to customize my house to awesomeness.

Speaker: I would go buy a house with a lot of land and a truck and then I also I would also I would also I would also I would buy season tickets to the Browns. I would buy season tickets to buy the **** day. Yeah, I would I would be in a box like one of those luxury boxes for the Browns reds.

Speaker: I don't know. I don't know. You know, there's a website called spend. Well, let me see. Let's see how much money. What? There's a there's a website called spend Bill Gates money. And I think that's what it's called. But it's literally it shows all these things with with Bill Gates money.

Speaker: I'm not talking Jeff Bezos. I'm not talking. Well, here. Yeah. Jimmy Haslam, the owner of the Cleveland Browns who also owns flying J and pilot and whatnot truck stops in 2012. He bought the Browns for 1 .2 billion. Okay. Wait a minute. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. No, he, he bought the Browns for roughly $990 million. There you go. It's nearly worth 1 .2 today.

Speaker: So there you go. You put it down payment, put it down payment. What am I doing? What am I doing? What am I doing? A payment plan to buy a billion dollars and you're going to buy a sports team. What's the cheapest sports team out there? I don't know. Probably some jets.

Speaker: Actually, no. I'm not saying that to shit on anybody. I'm not saying that to shit on the Jets. But one of the guys I follow on TikTok, Facebook, everywhere is Gary Vaynerchuk. And his goal is to make enough money to buy the fucking Jets. Well, the Jets might be a little bit more expensive because you've got to think about when you talk teams, you've got to think about their market.

Speaker: So typically new york is for for anything new york is the number one market. So everything's more expensive up there where Okay, Cleveland might be like And i'm not shitting on the browns. I'm not shitting on the brown though. I'm not shitting your team. I'm saying It's got to be one of the cheapest markets, right? Yeah, that's what i'm saying. It's it's not shitting on a billion dollars that he's spent 900 million on he's making fucking profit And he's like yeah

Speaker: Like, I'll give you a billion dollars for the Browns tonight. He'd be like fucking sold, dude. Yeah. I mean, I'd be broke as shit until money started coming in. But I'm talking like the start of the season, you know, billion. But I think you would have to have it. You would have to have like at least three billion in the bank to buy the Browns. Yeah. Right. Well, that's why I'm saying salaries and shit.

Speaker: What's the salary of the Browns? I don't know. I'm not talking about the players. I'm talking about staff. That comes with the NFL salary cap and all that jazz. That money, I don't know the ins and outs, so I'm not going to pretend like I do.

Speaker: Oh, smokes. Is that a lot of gray in my beard? What the hell? Anyways, um, I think a lot of the salaries and stuff like that come off the profit of the team, you know, from ticket sales and merchandise and stuff like that. I've seen the movie draft day like 400 times. I love that fucking movie. Like I said, it's not a matter. No, no, no. And a lot of people don't know about it. You, you

Speaker: As a Browns fan, the fact that you haven't seen that movie is blasphemy. I don't, I don't, man, I have a hard time getting into a lot of sports. A fucking Kevin Costner. Yeah. Be the fucking Browns. You douche. Well, yeah. Well, that's the thing. Like I have a hard time getting into like the, um,

Speaker: drama or serious sports movies like I haven't seen draft day I haven't seen money ball I haven't seen you know like now now I'm not a sports guy by any means I love money ball I love fucking draft day I will literally probably watch my ball tonight for like the 50th time I just I can't get into the super serious movies now you gave me in any given Sunday or the replacements

Speaker: With, uh, draft day, draft day and, and, and Moneyball and any given Sunday, the difference between those three movies is office versus on the field. Yeah. Any given Sunday is on the field. It's like, uh, uh, what's up. I just watched it the other day. Uh, uh, major league.

Speaker: Major league is all about on the field, you know, the players themselves, but the, the, the behind the scenes, the, that shit fucking blows my mind. Yeah. I get, I get bored with that stuff though. That's the thing, man. Like I get super bored. So it's like, um, to me, that's like a commentary track to, to, to move. Like, did you see trouble with the curve? No. What the fucking Clint Eastwood?

Speaker: Yeah, I don't think I ever heard of it. Well, I mean, I don't care about the behind the scenes stuff, man. I want to watch the action. I totally get that. I totally get that. But like, Trouble with the Curve is about Clint Eastwood as a baseball scout.

Speaker: Yeah. And, and Isla Fisher's his daughter and, and Justin said, like, it works for another team as a baseball scout. Fucking amazing movie. Fucking blew my mind. I've seen it like, I don't know, 60, 70 times. Well, fair enough. I was going to say, she must be high. I'll watch Clint East. I'll watch Clint East would read a book. Clint East would read Harry Potter. I'm fucking in, dude.

Speaker: Clint Eastwood reads the phone book. I'm in. I'm in, dude. Because Clint Eastwood's a fucking man. That dude is 90 and still making movies. Well, I mean, what else are you going to do at 90? He's got more money in brains. I'll give him that. Which for me is like 20 bucks, but you know. Yeah.

Speaker: But like I said, I think if somebody gave me like $10 billion tomorrow, the first thing I do is buy a sports team and then hire your ass to run the fucker. Oh, yeah, absolutely. I mean, if I was given $10 billion, yeah, I would buy a sports franchise.

Speaker: I'm like, look, I need some income from this money. I'm going to buy a sports stream and I want to hire Chris to run the fucking thing because I'm like, Chris, get on it, dude, because I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.

Speaker: I'm like, should we sell t -shirts or should we fucking focus on the game? I don't care. I'm like, Chris, who's a good head coach because I don't fucking know. Speaking of head coaches, our goddamn head coach for the Cleveland Browns, Stefanski, Kevin Stefanski, has become every fucking woman's wet dream

Speaker: Really? Why? He's a good looking dude. He's not a very old guy. He's a younger cat. He's a good looking dude. But I guess he did a photo shoot or something. And he got jacooted up, man. He's got - On the barrel rug in front of the thing. The only thing that covered his junk is a hat.

Speaker: Yeah, there was a picture of him and it looked like he was in like a car and it was just like a profile picture. And he kind of had his head cocked to the side a little bit, had his hair slicked back. He's got his little gray chalk, salt and pepper beard, all GQ'd up. And then the meme said, every woman in America is officially a Cleveland Browns fan because he is daddy status. And I'm like,

Speaker: Well, that's something else my wife and I were talking about the other day is she was talking about one of the Jonas Brothers. I don't fucking know. She's like, oh, he's gorgeous. I'm like, you know what? Here's the thing. I said, I'm great. I'll give it to you. That guy's good looking cat. But if I became super like Justin Bieber fucking famous tomorrow.

Speaker: there's going to be at least 50, 60 chicks out there going, he's the hottest fucking thing in the world. But that same chick sees me walking in a mall when I'm not famous, goes, eh. Well, I mean, I think fame has a lot to do with, with your level of hotness. I think, I think it's the middle Jonas and I don't know what the hell his name is that, that girls lose their fucking mind over. But the dude is,

Speaker: He's a good looking kid. He can sing. He can act. He's fucking hilarious. I couldn't pick the kid out of a fucking lineup who my wife was talking about. I don't even remember the dude's name. I just know he's a Jonas brother. And she was scrolling through fucking Instagram and she's like, he's so hot. I'm always like, you know what? 90 % of his hotness comes from his fame.

Speaker: Well, that's just you being jealous. No, no, no, no. What are you talking about? No, no, no, that's not me being jealous. That's that's that's a fact. Because that there's that I know dudes. That are good looking cats. I have a buddy of mine is buddy mine Glenn. He and I owned I own an internet cafe and he had a laundry. We shared the same locale. And

Speaker: And he's a good looking dude. Like literally this dude and I would walk into a bar together and I became a wall. And it was like, holy shit. But if that dude became famous, my buddy Glen became famous tomorrow, everybody there, every chicken, their girlfriend would be like, Oh, I'm going to do myself to do, you know, I'm going to figure myself out that guy. Yeah. Okay. Well, there you go. So you're saying walking down a mall. They're like, well, that's good looking dude. That's about it.

Speaker: But if he was famous and walk it on the mall, they fucking tear down the Sears to get past to get to him. Well, that's not a matter of looks or anything like that. It's just the fact that he's loaded and he's famous in there. That's what I'm saying. I was not being a bitch. What are you talking about? Someone's calling me a bitch. You are a bitch. I could say that because I'm four beers.

Speaker: Yeah, you're trash, don't you? My wife noticed that the trash, the more trash I get on the podcast, the more I start calling you a bitch. She's like, you called Chris a bitch like six times the other night. How much rum did you drink? I said, drink the whole fucking bottle. She's like, yeah, you were trash because you kept calling him a bitch.

Speaker: She's like the more drunk you get, the more brazen you get with Chris. I just allow you to do it because there's gonna come a day where I'm gonna come down to Cancun unannounced and there's gonna be a knock at your door and you're gonna answer and I'm just gonna kick you in the day and be like, who's the bitch now, bitch? Who's the bitch now? Speaking of that saying, have you ever seen the movie The New Guy?

Speaker: with DJ Quill. Oh, yeah, with a little fucking love that movie, dude. That's his tagline. He goes, he goes to jail, badass. And he's like, who's the he kicks his he goes to kick the guy like, who's the bitch now? And everybody's left.

Speaker: He drags the guy into the room, pulls the fucking wire alarm. I can just see you doing that. You're dragging me around. Who's watching? Fuck. We get it. He's making a movie. Summers are in here giving him shit. Netflix. Do you remember the movie She's All That?

Speaker: Yeah, I've seen that they did a remake of He's All That or some dumb shit. Oh my god, it's the biggest piece of shit, dude. Why am I not surprised that you watched it? I watched it. It was on, and I was like, oh, what the fuck, I'll watch it. Wow, it was bad. And I kept looking at the dude, and I'm like, where did I fucking know this guy from? Then I realized at the end of the movie, I was like, oh, it's the kid from Cobra Kai.

Speaker: No, so you quit. You quit. So, so much over here giving me shit. Cause I was giving her shit for being in Kevin's life. She's like, I popped in for a second because why you were on break. So I quit. I'm not coming in anymore. Bitch ass. Oh my God. You act like it's the first time I've caught you in there when you're, when you should have been here. I can honestly say all of 30 seconds.

Speaker: Oh, it's so serious. I can't. I can't. Teaser about anything. No, you can't. You should know that. She ganks though. I mean, that's that's you. You can do that. You can spit every Wednesday right there. It's not a zoo hat. It's a Michigan hat. Come on, Tiger. What? What?

Speaker: Uh Casey Tigers came in and he was like, love the Mizzou hat. Go Tigers. Wow. That's a dumbass. You're making nobody, you're not going to make me cry. You might probably make Jeff cry, but good luck with that. What? But that's on you. I think it's totally on you. If you want to go hear the same conspiracy, political nonsense, every Wednesday, if you want to go do that, that's fine. I'll tell you what though.

Speaker: I can rock conspiracy theory with the best of them, but fuck, it gets old quick. Oh, believe me, I know, Jeff, because since I don't allow you to, I don't allow you to do a little - Like you fucking read about, but it gets old really fast. I don't let you do your rants in here so that I have to listen to them when we talk up messages. And I'm like - Yeah, exactly.

Speaker: Well, I literally watch political commentary all morning long where the point where I'm like, I talked to Chris about this. And I'm like, no, he's not gonna go fuck. So I don't send it.

Speaker: I just tried to change the subject. Yeah. Pull the e -break on your political nonsense. Casey said, just giving you shit. Every time I have a Mizzou hat on, they say, nice Michigan hat. Nice. Well, I mean, they both rock that block M. I mean, so I've actually made that mistake a couple of times. That block M is iconic. Yeah.

Speaker: Well, I've made that mistake where I've been in lids or something and I'll pick up a hat. I'm like, Oh man, this is a bad ass Michigan hat. And then I look at the back of it and it's like Mizzou and I'm like, ah, son of a bitch. Put that motherfucker back. Why is there a fucking Mizzou hat in here? I can't find a Michigan hat because we're in Ohio. That's the thing that kills me, man.

Speaker: you're not floating away yet. Well, that's good to know. That's the thing. It kills me. And I've, and I've, I've mentioned it to summer before, uh, because I've been down there. I can do, I can go to sporting stores up here and whatnot. I can not find Cleveland shit anywhere. And I'm fucking in Ohio. I can go down to Tennessee. I, there's, there's a sports, there's a sports Jersey story here. And I was like, you know what? I want to get something Ohio. Hmm.

Speaker: I don't care if it's Browns, I care if it's Buckeyes, I don't care what it is, I just want something in Ohio. Couldn't find it to save my fucking life. And I was like, this is bullshit. And he's like,

Speaker: Nobody cares about Ohio and Cancun. I'm like, fuck you. Nobody cares about Ohio. You just lost a customer. He's like, yeah, we don't care. And I'm like, yeah, I know. Well, that's the thing. I'll go down to Tennessee and go to a sports store. And man, I can find Cleveland Brown shit all over the place. But like here, this is what pisses me off. I'm gonna go on my own little rant for a minute. I live in Ohio. I'm two hours from Cleveland. I'm two hours from Cincinnati.

Speaker: I go into Dick's Sporting Goods, right? Now, being that we are in Central Ohio, yeah, I expect them to have a big Ohio State section. I don't ever expect them to have Michigan. I don't go into sports stores expecting to find Michigan stuff. I'll just order it online. Or if I happen to be up in Michigan, I'll go to the den and I'll buy Michigan stuff.

Speaker: Yeah. And, and, um, but, uh, so last year I was looking for a Jersey. I want a mile. I wanted a miles, Gary Jersey. I still want a miles, Gary Jersey. So I'm like, well, I'm going to go to Dick's got this right here in Newark, got a Dick server in Easton. So I go to Dick's here in Newark, walk in, got the big Ohio state section, got a little tiny, uh, Cincinnati bangle section. And then you got this huge fucking Pittsburgh Steelers section bigger than the Ohio state section.

Speaker: And no brown stuff. Yeah. So no brown stuff. So I was like, fuck it. I'll just go to Easton. They got a bigger dicks. Um, I'll go up there. So, so I go to Easton, right? Yeah. So, so I go up to Easton and it's the same thing, but the only, only difference between Newark and, and Easton, um,

Speaker: They've also got a big Columbus blue jacket section. The hockey team up here. Okay. This is like, Oh yeah, this is awesome. But still, it's the same thing. Big old stealer section, little tiny bangle section and even smaller section.

Speaker: of Cleveland Browns and then like all their brown stuff was a fucking Jeff Jones. I didn't even have anything in my size. I was just like, you got it. You fucking killing me here. I don't want to order it online because I want to send me shit. Yeah. I'm like, I want the fucking Jersey right now. I don't want to order it online. Casey said he wishes he was born in Easton because they have bigger dicks.

Speaker: But I just don't understand why it is so hard for like I said, I go down to Tennessee and go to a sports store and I can get Cleveland Browns stuff all fucking day long. And it was the same thing down in Charleston. Uh, there was a store that I used to go to all the time and uh, I could, I could get brown stuff all day. I could get Michigan stuff all day, but hey, come on to Ohio. I have to go to the fucking stadium to buy anything. If I don't want to buy it online, my kid just said, I smell like beer. I told him, fuck you.

Speaker: I'm drinking beer. Yeah. Go to fucking bed. What? Well, I'm drinking beer. What am I supposed to smell? Like roses? Okay. Go to bed. Juan Jr. I guarantee I tell that to my wife. She'll slap my face. Patrick's not floating away yet. So that's a good thing. Pat, Pat's up there in New York. He hasn't floated away yet. He's still with us.

Speaker: New Yorkers are you from that the Bronx? I Would punch that motherfucker in the face and I'm not the guy I'm not the guy to throw the first punch ever but I'm a bunch of mother face I

Speaker: Yeah, I was gonna say, trust me, New Yorkers do not like him. Yeah, he's gone. One of the radio shows I listen to, they're based out of, I think it's Long Island. What's the other island up there? I don't know.

Speaker: I think it's Long Island. I could do and I don't know. Yeah. But they they **** **** about that goofy bastard all day every day. Oh, Jesus. Well, he's I gotta say, I'm gonna say it out loud. **** the Democrats.

Speaker: Do you feel better? You got that out of your system? Yes, I do. I actually do. You feel good? I feel lighter. I feel lighter. You're a lot bigger. Like I just dropped 12 fucking pounds off my fucking back. That was my make a wish for the year. I was allowing Jeff to make...

Speaker: The little, the little retarded bastard dying of cancer had one wish and he just wanted to say that. So now I've done my good deed, my charity for the year. Yeah. No more back to being an asshole.

Speaker: Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. According to my girlfriend, my fiance. Sorry. No, my girlfriend. Oh, you want to get in trouble. Fucking. She's already mad at me. So so I I bought my wife something when we bought the bed and I haven't mentioned this. The the place where we bought the bed is a a massive store. It's called Talibodega. Right.

Speaker: And Talladega has everything you would need for your house. Like you can even buy a house in there, literally. They have like models of houses that you can buy in different areas. You can buy, well, you can buy stoves, you can buy air fryers, you can buy fucking deep fryers, whatever the fuck you want. And I spent $12 and I bought a miniature food processor.

Speaker: And ever since I bought it, I've used it once. My wife has used it 62 million times. She fucking loves that thing. That is not where I thought you were going to go with this, with this story. Yeah. Everything else. I thought it was one of those things. It's like we were, we were, they were, they were checking on prices.

Speaker: Like what kind of discount they could give us and shit. And I was like, oh, I'm fucking bored. Let's just pick out a fucking bed and go the fuck. Cause as we stated before, I'm the kind of dude who walks in and says, give me that one. Let's get the fuck out of here. I don't want to spend three days in a fucking store. So they're there. Oh, we can give you 10%. And I was like, no, I won't give him more, you know?

Speaker: Yeah. And so I'm looking around all this stupid. I'm looking at new ranges. I'm looking at built in ovens. I'm looking at washers and dryers because I'm like, I want all the cool tech. And then there's little Taurus. It's Taurus T A U R U S. Yeah. And it's just as the miniature food process is literally holds like a cup and a half of shit. And

Speaker: And I have to say, as somebody that lives in the Caribbean, I fucking hate fish. I literally told my wife when I met her that I'm allergic to fish. Like if I eat fish, it'll fucking kill me. That's how much I hate fish. And she literally found out like a month or two later,

Speaker: when we went on a tour and they had fish fingers that I thought were chicken fingers. And I was eating them like, these are fucking awesome. I'm eating them. She's like, Oh my God, it's fish. You're going to fucking die. I was like, I was lying. She yesterday, she took the food process and she ground up a bunch of shit. And I'm like, what are you doing? She's like, I'm going to make lunch. I'm like, cool. I don't want to fucking cook. And she made fish.

Speaker: Now, as someone that hates fish, I had two fucking bowls of this fish. Well, it's not that you hate fish. Apparently, you like fish because you just named two instances where you ate fish and you liked it. No, but here's the thing. It all depends on how you cook it. If it tastes like fucking fish, I don't fucking want it. No, I mean, I'm bored with it. I don't care for fish. I like seafood, but I don't care for fish.

Speaker: Oh, don't get me wrong. I will eat lobster until the day I fucking die. I love lobster. I just can't afford it. Which is the only reason I go on Captain Hook, which is what she did last Saturday. Captain Hook, they give you surf and turf. And literally we will, I'm like, look, you take my fucking steak, I'll eat your fucking lobster. So I can do lobster. Because she's not a big lobster person. And I'm like, I'll eat lobster until the cows come home.

Speaker: Because they give you that melted that butter. That's like a dipping sauce. It's just melted butter. And I'm like, I'll drink this fucking shit like. But, uh, she ground up. We bought a, uh, what did it look, uh, uh, I don't want to say can, but it's not a can. It's like a can of sturdy, like a plastic barrels.

Speaker: with like 4 ,000 pieces of garlic in it. Yeah. And she put five of those in that fucking food processor and blended it up. And then she put in onion and blended it up and all this. I don't know what the fuck she put in it. But she made this fish before I tore up out the kitchen that was so fucking good. I ate so much of it. I was like, if I eat another bite, I'm going to fucking explode.

Speaker: It was so fucking good. And to the point where like at two o 'clock in the morning last night, we're watching, we were watching the letters to Juliet. Very, very, very, very, very, very, very romantic comedy. And

Speaker: Oh, extremely. I love a romantic comedy. I watch the notebook by myself. I love fucking love romantic comedy. I love the fucking notebook. It's amazing movie. It's a good movie. But yes, not gonna bring me to it's not good enough where I'm just gonna be like, Oh, you know, I'm hanging around the house. I bought it on DVD and Blu -ray.

Speaker: But we were watching this movie because she'd never seen it. And she pauses it, she pauses it and she runs, she goes, go downstairs, give me some fish. I was like, okay. So I went and got her fish. And she does, they sell these branded chips here. They're basically like...

Speaker: Uh, they're called, uh, topo topos topos. They're basically unsalted, uh, hard tortillas, like, like almost like a, uh, tortilla. Yeah. Yeah. Tortilla chip. But she, she sent me over to the neighbor's house that sell. He's got a little store there and I went over there. I bought a pack of cigarettes, big, uh, liter, uh, liter and a half a squirt and, uh, three liter of Coke and topos.

Speaker: And I come back and she's reheated the fish. And she's got what's left of the fish in a bowl. And she's just eating it with his topos. We'll watch this fucking movie. I'm like, you know what? I've eaten enough fish where I'm good for the year. But fuck. I'm good lady. I like I bought myself a bag of Doritos and polish that motherfucker off.

Speaker: I will buy the biggest batch of Doritos I got and a big three liter of Coke and just barrel through that motherfucker during a movie. And that is why you're a fan. Yes. Yes. I mean, you need to exercise it. I'm like, well, stop letting me buy fucking chips at three o 'clock in the fucking morning. Yeah. I wonder why I'm a fucking fat fuck. Lately, man, I've been on a

Speaker: tortilla chips and salsa kick, man. I've been eating the shit out of them lately. Dude, I got the best salsa mix. One of my ex -girlfriends talked to me. The girl I dated right after high school taught me this. You take sour cream and tostitos, salsa mix, mix them two motherfuckers together.

Speaker: I'll do that. I'll get the salsa and then some like queso cheese and sour cream and mix it all together and just fucking

Speaker: go to town, man. I don't know what it is lately. Like you had McDonald's today. When I go to McDonald's, I get, the first thing I asked was like, make sure you give me extra mayonnaise packets because I put my mix mayonnaise and ketchup together. Oh yeah. That's hot. I rock. We used to do that shit in high school. I still do that. I taught my kids that.

Speaker: I don't know who showed us to it. Somebody showed us that in high school. Somebody showed us that in high school because we used to make fun of them. And they're like, no, here, look, just try it. And then we tried it and everybody was like, holy fuck, this changes everything. Everybody was doing it. And I still do it to this day. I mean, I don't do it all the time. But again, catch up is one of those things.

Speaker: and and Hellman's bannays and take a spatula and scoop out being big old chunk of mayonnaise and squeeze a bunch of fucking Heinz ketchup in it and I'll mix it in a bowl. And the first time I did it in front of my kids, they were like, what are you doing? I'm like, huh, you were in for a treat. Sit back, little boy. Sit back, little girl. You're gonna love this. Wow. You know, there are some phrases that you should never utter out of your mouth and

Speaker: Oh, you're in for a treat. Sit down, little boy. Sit down, little boy. I was teaching my son. I was teaching my son how to use a tape measure, which sounds weird. But because we're building this fucking kitchen, I said, he I said, I wrote, I write everything down on everything like I have tiles here in the kitchen that I've written 84 centimeters and

Speaker: Uh, three quarters inches and saw the shit. And I told my son, I said, look, I wrote down on one of the tiles. Go find out. Cause I'm outside in the front yard cutting wood. And I said, go find out exactly what that measurement was. He comes back and gives me like 14 different measurements. And I'm like, wait, which one he's like, you wrote on 15 different fucking tiles, dad, which one you want? I said, okay, take the tab measure and go and measure the distance.

Speaker: And he says, how do I read a tape measure? And I was like, I failed as a father. So I sat him down. I said, look, this is how you read a tape measure. And I don't know what it is, but for the past five years, I've done everything in centimeters. Well, I don't know why.

Speaker: Well, I mean, that's what it all comes down to. I think it all comes down. I think it all comes down to if I go to Home Depot here and I say, I need three quarter inch piece of plywood. They're like, what? I'm like 15 millimeters, motherfucker. Like, Oh, okay. Yeah. We got that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, that's just there. That's your unit of measurement down there. So I mean, it's just kind of converted. I've, I've slowed. So like, like when I tell you something, what it costs in dollars,

Speaker: I'm instantly doing the math what it cost in pesos. And the same thing with if I tell you how like the section of this kitchen I built today, the cabinet is just under four feet. And so it's a meter and a half, a meter and a quarter. Yeah, which is just a meter is basically three foot. But it's actually six inches shorter than three foot or whatever.

Speaker: Yeah, almost. But I mean, like I said, you can't be upset because your son didn't know how to read a tape measure because it's not like we come out of the womb knowing how to read tape measures. We all had to be taught at some point in time. But I've been slowly teaching him how to read tape measure and I almost refused to teach him in standard. I'm teaching him in metric because I'm doing all the measurements in metric because

Speaker: I don't know why the US hasn't switched over to metric for the simple fact everything's divisible by fucking 10. Because it's Mark. Yeah, exactly. And you know, people, people, people, older people in states won't get it. Motherfucker is divisible by 10. Like you can do it on your fingers. Like how much is three quarters of an inch, Chris? Oh, you know, it's about that much.

Speaker: Okay, but how much is it in centimeters? I don't fucking know because I don't live in some backwards... I don't live in some backwards ass third world country. I live in America. Which is the only country that uses standard. That's because we're the best country. We're the greatest. Undefeated. In war. Back to back world war champions.

Speaker: We we we got tired of beating everybody else up we fought ourselves But like I don't know what it is, but it's literally become

Speaker: It's so much easier. It does take a little bit to switch your brain. And speaking of war, and we beat ourselves.

Speaker: It's just just an FYI for all you knuckleheads in the South who seem to think that if a civil war were to break out again today, that you would win because you're in the South and especially you Texas. You lost once because you're smarter than you in the North. And 200 years ago, you were fucking your cousins. And in 2021, you're still fucking your cousins. So calm down. And that's mainly directed at Texas. Calm the fuck down.

Speaker: I keep seeing all these memes. It's like if we were to break the United States up into sections and then like it's wherever Texas is like, oh, we already got this. We're Texas is there. We automatically win with the exception of the fact that 90 % of most states are fucking snowflakes. Yeah. They're like, I'll collect you with my fucking keyboard, please.

Speaker: I remember getting in trouble because it was hunting season. I showed up at school with a fucking gun in my gun rack. The thing that makes me laugh and cracks me up when they start having this debate and you start reading through the comics, like everybody in the South is like, we're all hunters and we grew up hunting and blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, yeah, but you come to Ohio because we have the biggest bucks. That's in the North.

Speaker: So guess what we do up here we hunt to school and and taking my shotgun out of the gun rack and take it into the office and like hey The truck and and it was like that's okay. 50 other people did the same fucking thing label

Speaker: Ours were just in our, ours were always in our trucks. I mean, I didn't, I never took it. I never took a shotgun to school, but I had all my buddies that, you know, I had several friends at East Knox that just had their guns and gun racks in the back, in the back of our truck. Nobody thought anything of it.

Speaker: No, I always had a gun in my gun rack. I've just been seeing those memes a lot lately. They crack me up when Texas chimes in and it's like, as Jeff would say, calm down there, Chief. Yeah, calm down, Chief. We got this.

Speaker: Well, the one thing you guys almost make your apocalypse due to a little bit of snow. Calm down. Yeah, exactly. We got this. No, that's the one thing of growing up in Ohio is rain, sleet, snow, tornado. What else you got? We've been through that shit. You know, we got this. Yeah.

Speaker: Uh, hunt for your own food, please. So it's Monday. We take a week off for school for that. What are you talking about? Well, I'm pretty sure that probably did East Knox as well, but I know in clear for we, uh, first day of deer season.

Speaker: School was closed because 90 % of the school wouldn't fucking show up anyway because it was first day of fucking deer season I think I don't know if we got the whole week off um the first week or it was We always get first day I know we had a couple days off Yeah, we always had the first day, but I don't know if it was a full week or just like half the week or something like that um, they took off I didn't put school at all that week until I caught my my buck

Speaker: I was never much. I mean, I can deer hunt. I just, A, I don't want to get up with the asscrack of dawn. B, it's cold. So now I sit on my porch and shoot rabbits and shit. Like I've gone turkey hunting and pheasant and squirrel and I've gone deer hunting and everything like that. I want to take my kids snipe hunting.

Speaker: I told my wife that she's like, you're not going to teach our kids how to hunt. I said, honey, let me teach you a little bit something about snipes. Come on, grab this bag. We'll go on snipe button. After I explained what snipe button was, she was like, that's fucked up. I said, oh, I've done it. I've been the blood of that joke.

Speaker: Yeah, I've I've never been the butt of that joke, but I've I've pulled that joke off a few times in my life. Oh, my God, is the funniest thing when somebody gets a you toss a rock into their bag, they fucking freak the fuck out. I'm fucking God. And everybody else is fucking rolling on the ground laughing. No, I really got one. Sure, you did. Yeah, you did, buddy.

Speaker: I remember my brother got me. He's like, Hey, snipe hunting season's coming up. I was like, Oh, really? We can go hunting? He's like, Yeah, but you don't really need you don't need a gun or nothing. You just need a bag. I'm like, Really? Is it getting snipe on man? They run around in your bag. And he's running around with sticks. He's clicking stick scares. You keep running your bag when I scare him. And it's like three o 'clock in the fucking morning.

Speaker: And he tossed a rocket in my bag. And I said, I fucking got one. I screamed so loud that I swear to God, the neighbor that lived a mile away fucking heard me scream, I fucking got one. And I looked over this motherfucker and he is rolling on the ground laughing to the point where he was ready to piss himself laughing. And I'm sitting there going, I fucking got one. I know I swear to God, dude, I got one. He's like, yeah, check your bag.

Speaker: I think I'm going to do that. This this this uh like December. I'm going to take my kids tonight. I think you know, it's my son will fall for my daughter. She's like **** that **** I ain't going. It's Ray God. Good morning. **** you. This is the kid that sleeps till noon as a six year old. So,

Speaker: Yeah. Fuck you. I'm watching PJ Masks. I give my daughter shit, but she is totally my daughter because she will sleep till noon if you let her. Let her sleep. Let her sleep. I have somebody that no matter what, I'm up by seven o 'clock in the morning. I don't go anywhere. I don't have a job, but I'm up at seven o 'clock in the morning no matter what.

Speaker: sometimes 6 .30 and I just can't sleep past 7 .30. But when I was younger, fuck, I'll sleep till three o 'clock in the morning, three o 'clock in the afternoon. Oh yeah, I had my days. I mean, sleeping in for me, I'm usually up by like nine, 10 at the latest. But I'm also the guy that will stay up till six o 'clock in the morning.

Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the thing. Like, you know, I'll sleep till nine or 10, but then I just feel like the day's fucking wasted. Yeah. Three o 'clock in the afternoon. Yeah. I do have my days where I'll still sleep till 12, one o 'clock, but that's just good days.

Speaker: I did it once. I've done it once in this past year. I did it the other day. My brother -in -law and sister -in -law were here, you know, 16 and 14. So I was like, they got the kids. I'm going to sleep. And I woke up and I was like 12 and I was like, well, I guess I'll get up and make lunch. Well, now I guess I'll get pancakes.

Speaker: There's no, there's no rules on when you can and can't have breakfast unless you go to McDonald's. Well, I fucking, back to building the kitchen, I was taking out all this stuff because I don't know what asshole came up with the design of this kitchen, but it was one drawer, a small section of shelf that was one door and then two double doors.

Speaker: And I was like, what fucking music came up with this? And the one section that was a single door, I literally had beans, rice, pancake mix, and chocolate flour, all that shit in there. I kept my fiddle in there. And I have a canister that I keep pancake mix in. And I was telling my wife, I said, I ran out of pancake mix.

Speaker: And then I realized when I was taking everything out of the fucking cupboard today, I was like, I have four things, a pancake mix. I don't need to buy anymore. My canister was empty. I just didn't notice that everything goes, cause I hate going into the cupboard, which is why I'm rebuilding the kitchen. It's just like, how the hell did I end up with all this? But having like six bags of rice

Speaker: Yeah. I have three bags of chili peppers, dried chili peppers, three different styles, six bags of each, two bags of each. But it's like, I don't know. I don't know how to fucking use. My wife puts them in everything. I don't fucking know what the fuck to do with it. It'll sit there until Jesus returns to go, what the fuck are you doing with these chilled peppers?

Speaker: my wife, she's like, okay. Because I'm not a Oh, by the way, I did pork in the air fryer the other day. Fuckin hell, dude. Holy shit. I know why I bought my air fryer. Yeah. Well, if someone was here, she would I took I was looking we're running low on food, which is another reason why I'm

Speaker: redoing the kitchen now because we haven't gone grocery shopping. So I was like, there's no food to cook. So what the fuck might as well rebuild the kitchen. Yeah, so the last of the food that was in there was fish and pork. And it was it was a I forget what it's called. It was like pork shoulder. It's a big old chunk to four big old chunks.

Speaker: So I took it out, let it defrost for like 15, 20 minutes and then cut it, cut it in halves. And I watched a video, I follow this lady because I don't know shit about cooking. So I follow this lady on, on YouTube that talks about all she does is air fry every fucking thing. Yeah. And she was talking about air frying chicken and she's like, she's like, Oh, you

Speaker: take olive oil and put on it and then you put salt and pepper in them. So I went through all my fucking spices. I'm like, yeah, garlic salt, yeah, yeah, pepper, you know, I'm going fucking nuts. And I coated this fucking thing with all these different spices through the air fire for, for, I think, 20 minutes, still frozen in the middle. And when it came out, it is the best pork I've ever had in my life. And I still don't remember the recipe.

Speaker: Nice. I told my wife, we need to buy more pork. Out of four pieces, did you save me any? I was like, no, it's gone. Because I made the last thing that was in my freezer was frozen corn on the cob, which I can only buy at fucking Costco because you can't get corn on the cob fucking anywhere in Mexico. And

Speaker: frozen pork. I was like, I know what I'm making today. So I boiled the corn on the cob and air fried the pork and holy fuck dude, I was impressed with myself. Nice. And I had there was eight pieces of corn on the cob. I had three or four. I don't remember. I lost count and all while I'm watching House of Cards.

Speaker: It was just like, I was in heaven. Cause my wife, my wife was away at a birthday party for two days at a, they rented a, they rented a cabin that has a cenote, which is basically a sinkhole of water in it. And I see the pictures is fucking beautiful. And she's like, do you want to come? And I was like, no, is there a TV there? No, I'm not going. So, you know,

Speaker: I told my wife is like, can you, uh, from your phone, can you order us some pizza or something? Because if I order, they're just like, this motherfucker doesn't speak really good Spanish. We're not delivering. I'll send her friend. I'll send her friend a message like, Hey, Cecile, can you order pizza from, from, uh, uh,

Speaker: Papa John's and having delivered to my house and she's like, yeah, okay. I'll send her a picture of my water bill, which has my address on it. I'm like, send it to this address and tell me when they're at the gate. It's hilarious. So I've done that like six times. And I said, my wife, I said, can you send us a pizza or send us some Uber Eats? And she's like,

Speaker: There's food in the freezer. I was like, thanks. I didn't really want to fucking cook, but okay. So I looked at the freezer and it was all there. Pork and corn on the cob. And then she got mad that I ate all the fucking corn on the cob. You could have over -eated it or something.

Speaker: He wanted me to cook, so I cooked and I ate it all. I ate it all. Bitch, you don't get nothing. But on that note. She was mad as hell that I ate all her pork. She'll get over it. Just go buy more pork. But on that note, I'm going to be the one that goes tonight that says we're going to wrap this bad boy up, mainly because I've got to get up and I have another 12 hour day ahead of me tomorrow, which I'm not looking forward to.

Speaker: It is what it is. Well, I gotta finish building this fucking kitchen. My wife's already pissed because I fucking... She gave me the idea. She said, you know, we got all this wood. You've been talking about rebuilding the kitchen. Rebuild the kitchen with a piece of wood. With the wood we got. And I said, okay. She meant in like a week or two. And I took it as today because she went back to work. I'm ripping apart the fucking kitchen.

Speaker: Yeah. She left the house this morning. She's like, I expect this house to be fucking perfect when I get home. And she gets home and I got everything. I mean, you I say in a video, I have stuff on the kitchen table. I have stuff on a full day. Well, I have stuff all over the floor. And she's like, what happened to cleaning the house? I said, Oh, I cleaned the house. Then I decided to rip apart the kitchen. Then I took the kitchen. She says, I didn't mean today. I said, Well, you weren't here.

Speaker: So I ripped my kitchen. You weren't here. I was bored. Fuck it. It's done. So now she's like, look, you got two days to finish this motherfucker. Yeah. Well, I got two sheets of plywood left. I'm ready to rock this motherfucker. Yeah. So you got, uh, you got today and tomorrow. Get it all done by tomorrow and Friday. Get it all done. Fill her.

Speaker: get it all done and out of the way by before Saturday because uh yeah that's not gonna happen because I gotta I still gotta go over to Home Depot and buy uh one by twelves so I can build drawers I gotta build drawers because you can't really build drawers out of plywood because they'll just fucking fall apart so I'm gonna go out one by twelves yeah that'll like ten thousand dollars worth of wood

Speaker: Wood is actually slowly going down back to 2018 prices but in like a year. Yeah, they'll get down there eventually. $300 with a wood in this house where in 2018 it would cost me like 50 bucks. Yeah. Well, hopefully, like I said, Saturday when we do the podcast. Saturday when we do the podcast, maybe you'll

Speaker: you'll have made a good progress on the kitchen. I'll put a dent in it. I'll put a dent in it. Yeah, because as I said earlier today at work when you said that video, I was like, this goofy so much done touring fucking kitchen apart. What the hell? The cabinets that came to the house, I said, I will put the video of the video I sent Chris. There is nothing in my kitchen but the shelf I built

Speaker: What? Six months ago? Yeah, something like that. Six months ago, I built the shelf. And today, the only thing left that I sent you was the shelf. Exactly. But yeah, we're gonna go ahead and end this bad boy.

Speaker: Yeah. Appreciate y 'all watching, listening, hanging out with this chatter's box was a pretty active tonight as always greatly appreciated to the, uh, to the old chatter box. And, uh, if you guys aren't already, go ahead and check us out on social media. Uh, we're on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, Twitch.

Speaker: all at nonsensical nonsense. It'll give us a thumbing. Yeah. And, uh, give Jeff a comment because he likes it. And, uh, if you want to catch all the other episodes, uh, we're up to, uh, I might go for it. We're up to 37. They're moving along pretty, pretty quick, but if you want to check out all the other episodes, feel free to, uh, blow your mind that we've hit 37 episodes. Yeah. I can't believe that. Yeah. It's kind of flowing by.

Speaker: but uh you can see you can uh give the other 36 episodes of listen on uh google uh apple spotify pretty much anywhere you get your uh little podcast jollies off at and uh as i've said several times if uh actor comedian musician gamer just another podcast host just some random

Speaker: Jerk off that doesn't mind hanging out with two other jerk offs. Should I say email let us know? Yeah, and If you want to email us you do it says not so finances podcast at gmo .com sorry, I'm drunk Yeah, no. Yeah, definitely. I'd like to I'd like to try to get Rockley out here again. It was fun. I think yeah Saturday night if nobody saw it

Speaker: which I don't know if anybody saw it because it was so late. A, we did the podcast that went two hours in like 20 minutes. Then we did the after hour show that went over two hours. We had inter shows like almost three hours. Karaoke it for like an hour. Yeah. Until my wife was like, yeah, it's time. How's it going?

Speaker: Yeah, but we'll be back Saturday night guys, hopefully you guys enjoy the rest of your week and we will see you Saturday

Speaker: Oh, a little black top. Mugeo. Yeah, it's. It's just like a woman, like a woman, like a woman. I've listened to that song like nine times today. Fucking that song is amazing. Who the fuck is that chick in the video? Wow, she's gorgeous. I'd let her attack me.

Speaker: I'm sure it's Matt's girlfriend or something, so I'll probably get my ass kicked for it, but she's gorgeous. You know what? I'm not 100 % sure, but I think she is not Matt's girlfriend, but one of their girlfriends. I don't know. I could be wrong. But some lucky guy gets to hang out with her. She's in a couple of their videos.

Speaker: So, so how are you really feeling right, right now about her? Jesus. Calm down. How are you doing? And on, on Jeff being creepy, we're gonna go ahead and kill his camera. Yes. Go ahead and get blacked out. You guys have a great week. Enjoy the rest of your week and we will see you Saturday. Deuces.

Speaker: Mike's still on. We can hear you. Don't be stupid.

Speaker: To win

Speaker: If I began to believe Jesus Oh, I'm all gold in the sky Take this back and find I wanna live forever No, the spirit in the earth Give me a new word Make me a god

Speaker: Sir, can I help you? Do you have any weapons of any kind? Anything to defend yourself? Sir, this is a Speedy Mart. We have hot dogs too for a dollar. I just put them on the roller yesterday. They're pretty good.

Speaker: no man like something sharp something like I can stab defend myself with I've got some sharp titter combos over there it's kind of like a rich cracker pregnant with a cheese baby all right well let me just take one of these lighters and I'm gonna borrow your bug spray and can I borrow your bathroom key as well yeah bathroom key all right I got your bathroom key right

Speaker: There make sure you bring it back and that'll be 1362 and I'm gonna have to have exact same so we're in a coin shortage at the moment Whatever man, okay, that's I'm sorry Oh

Speaker: A little forever, and now, a spirit in the earth, a killing on the bird, a angry, a clown like you.

Speaker: Oh shit, chart! Wow! I'm all gold in the sky! The page is magnified! I won't believe all day!

Speaker: Make me a god like you Make me a god