Transcript
Speaker: Slightly outside, complicated truth It's the way you deal in the only absolutes Everyone knows I don't win Until they lose Sooner or later we are wearing blues
Speaker: Every step I take I fade Further from view I'll find my own way back To that old room, my own time State of mind Turn around and I'm back In the fifth room pure
Speaker: If I'm sliding off the narrow road Go ahead and throw your stone I know my way back home Take a walk up and down the aisle Tell me about a wrong and right I've got nothing to hide
Speaker: Would you choose? Crying eyes will be few If I was sliding off the narrow road Go ahead and throw your stone I know my way back home Take a walk up and down the aisle Tell me about
Speaker: To take a walk up and down the aisle
Speaker: It shows up. Completely. Well, that and it completely knocks out my notifications because I get so many of them. I don't see one like the people that I. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. I have to I have to scroll through subscriptions to to see. Oh, this guy's got a new video. I'm going to watch it. Yeah. And the girls being older. I swear to God, they subscribe to every cute boy they come across on fucking YouTube.
Speaker: Yeah. I have that coming. Not yet, but I'm sure it's coming. Yeah, it's like none of these boys are actually cute. Stop it. Yo, what's up, Cory? There he is. I'm trying to get on Facebook. I'm trying to get out here and get this. Yeah, and then Cash, he subscribes to every, if he watches a video on YouTube and he's not subscribed to it, he subscribes to it.
Speaker: Well, does he subscribe to that, uh, Lizzie and, uh, the Asian chicken and dude, I don't know what they felt like what they call them. So, but they they've, uh, like team Zorgo or whatever, where they, they, they pretend there's a, um, Oh, what's it called? Like a, uh, like a secret society trying to take down YouTube and all this stuff. And it's like.
Speaker: It's obviously false, but it's so weird. Yeah, I honestly don't know. That's what it's called. Yeah, I don't know. I know he likes, um, FG TV, uh, which I mean, those guys are actually cracks me up. Sometimes the hobby kids hobby kids kind of drive me nuts. Yeah. Way too happy go lucky. Yeah. And then there's like these Norwegian brother and sister.
Speaker: I don't know. They're kind of weird. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They do the... I know who you're talking about. I can't remember the saying, but my kids actually quote their saying, and I'm like, but it's in German or some shit. Yeah. But then he also watches a lot of Minecraft and... Ben... How's he subscribed to that, Lizzie? Benjamin, how you been, brother?
Speaker: Mark, what's good, man? Welcome, welcome. So are you ready? Are you ready for your surprise, or you want to do the opening first? Yeah, I was just sharing stuff out. I don't like how creepily you're like, you messaged me. I'm telling you, you're going to like it. OK. No. Are you ready? No. Let me do this, bro. Be ready. Let me. I'm not going to. Look at this screen.
Speaker: Oh, nice. Ah, daddy's ready tonight. How many of those you got? I got five left. That's a sufficient one. I drank one while you and I were talking before we went. That's a strange glass so you wouldn't know. Nice. You know how little I pay attention to. My kid ruined the surprise. How did he ruin the surprise? My kid ruined the surprise because he opened it for me. He opened it for me. I wanted to do the crack open. Oh, he had no biggie.
Speaker: But uh, what's going on guys? It's Saturday. Yeah. Nevermind the mindless few minutes of bullshit that always happens when we first start the podcast.
Speaker: Yeah, we're just getting the last few minutes of pre -show talk out of the way when we come live but welcome everybody to nonsensical nonsense. Hopefully, you're having a good weekend as always. I'm the host with the most hanging out with I'm trying to I did. I I I promise you I'm trying to come up with something clever for you but I just I just I know I I
Speaker: you know, but I got you for me. I got my your Turk. I feel like I feel like my is Chris and and I am the JD to your Turk. I feel like a dirtbag because it's just like naturally just kind of vomits out like word vomits out of my mouth when I give myself this like introduction and then I'm like and and and but uh no, as I said last week, I couldn't ask for a better
Speaker: still can't comment on Facebook. Thank you guys for tuning in those who are watching it live. If you're not already, give us a follow on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, all at nonsensical nonsense. Also check out Spotify, Google Play, Apple podcast, and you can get every episode of this train wreck that we call nonsensical nonsense.
Speaker: And now I'm going to sip my beverage and, uh, and I'm going to say that if you want to email us, you can do so at nonsense when nonsense podcast at gmail .com. If you drink every beer, if you take every single drink slurping tonight, I'm going to reach through this camera. I literally was talking to my wife and.
Speaker: As you know, she came home rather at a decent hour today because she has tomorrow off. And she messaged me, and she was like, hey, you want to go to lunch? And you and I discussed it real quick, and I was like, oh, I think I'm going to go to lunch real quick. And then I thought about it, and I was like, you know what? We just ate. The kids and I had just eaten. And I was like, yeah, you know what? I don't want to leave the house. And then I sent her a message. I said, but on your way home, can you pick me up beer?
Speaker: Yeah, there you go. And she never she never answered. She got home and I was like, did you bring my beer? She's like, no. I was like, what? But I want to drink tonight. And she's like, she's like, if you want beer, walk your ass to the store and get it yourself. I said, well, I'm going. Where's my book bag? And I walked to the store. She's like, pick me up soda. You should be like, you want soda? Who the fuck says soda? I'm saying soda. It's fucking pop.
Speaker: Now you make me say it down here down here we say coke yeah, well She drinks she drinks squirt and mondette mondette is apple flavored soda And it's kind of it's like it tastes like apple juice carbonation Well
Speaker: I'll drink it in a pinch but fuck it's not great. Yeah, that's how it was down in Charleston. They said they said soda or they said coke. Yeah, hey Cory a lot has changed since vape and chill man. A lot has I've gone through a couple of different reincarnations uh rebirths. I guess you could say rebranding. This is the latest but um yeah that was that was always that's always a nice surprise when you come home from work or
Speaker: Summer's done that a couple times. My ex -wife would do that from time to time. You know, have beer at the house when I get home or whatever. Or stop and get someone. Right. As stated multiple millions of times, I'm not a big drinker. However, last night, you and I were talking, my buddy had one of his friends come over and he sent me a message. His friend sent me a message. He came in, can you open the gate?
Speaker: because my buddy that lives a couple of houses down was at the pool. Yeah. So, you know, he didn't have signal and whatnot because, well, he was in the pool, not near his phone. So I opened the gate and dude's like, you want a beer? And I was like, oh, OK. I was like, does a bear shit in the woods? Well, you were. So I said, you remember the pool the other day and had a couple couple cold ones.
Speaker: That was the day. That was the day. Oh, was that last night that you sent me those pictures? Last night or the night before? I don't remember. As I say, you sent me a picture. I don't have like three. Well, I mean, that's a lot for me. I don't have like three because, well, yeah. But, uh, but, uh, I mean, that's, that's like the equivalent of me saying I only had 18. Yeah. Well, the thing is, is like my wife is, uh,
Speaker: Uh, like I said, she has the day off tomorrow and which means I have the day off tomorrow because the kids are going to grandma's. So daddy's going to have a few beers tonight. Yeah, buddy.
Speaker: Grandma's right. Yeah, she said I said our messes kids are going to grandma's right? She's like yeah, I said you want to pick me up some beer. She's like why and I was like well Grab me some beer grab you a couple bottles of wine and that's uh In the fridge you can finish that off. I'll finish off these six beers and but Nail appointment
Speaker: I said just cuz I if I pass out that's that's just the Circumstances, but we have the drunken hangover tomorrow that we can deal with You you drink your six beers you can drink a bottle of wine and then you can pull off the raging bull they outright She is for those don't know I started new new
Speaker: Niche so to speak I guess on tick -tock cuz I'm doing What what would you call them? I? Don't like their Their sex positions I guess their Expositions that if you do should put you on a fucking registry or a list for the rest of your life Well, I actually actually got the idea because this lady posted a video of her saying do not Google and
Speaker: The what was it called the alaskan snow dragon? Which of course my first instinct was oh, I gotta find out what the fuck this is And I was like, holy shit. That's hilarious Yeah, exactly. Well, that's not necessarily me because you're like, hey you messaged me and you're like, hey, uh chris uh google alaskan snow dragon google alaskan snow dragon And i'm just like I'm just like, uh, hey jeff kiss my ass
Speaker: It was it was much so it's much like it was much like you tonight you messaging me going and when you get excited about things you sound super I Don't know if I like that. Yeah, I got a surprise for you, buddy. Oh, yeah. I don't I don't know how I feel about that it was much like the the the
Speaker: swag pack that I received from Kevin Ollie last week that I was kind of scared to open because, well, the last one that he, when Kevin and I met for the first time, my ex -wife and the kids and I, we were already on vacation down in Florida. We went to, we were down at Legoland. So I was like, well, we can extend the vacation and go down to Tampa and I can meet Kevin and then we can go to like the aquariums. They got a really nice aquarium down in Tampa.
Speaker: Oh, yeah. So, uh, you know, Kevin and, uh, another friend of ours, Pat shit, uh, Pat shit, Bernie, Pat shit, crazy. They came to the hotel. We were saying that there was a bar there. So like, of course I come down and I was like,
Speaker: you're not twelve. I'm I'm only fourteen and you were supposed to be my friend from online and it's too creepy old man and and of course the whole the whole bars like stops and turns and then Kevin hands me this bag just like gift bag and it's got great jello and Harambe socks that say Harambe
Speaker: and and the like some business cards and just some weird random shit. There was like men's underwear that I'm really hoping that he stopped at like the dollar store and buy and he didn't get him off some homeless person on his way. Exactly. It was like found him in the back of his trunk of his car. Yeah. It was just like the random weirdest shit in his bag and I was just like, Kevin, you are something else. So, you know, I had the same I had the same kind of
Speaker: That that you know you get like that that feeling in the pit of your stomach And it was like the same thing happened when the kids were like you got a package And I'm like I didn't order anything summer didn't send anything so then I see it was from it I was like shit. I don't want I don't know if I should open this in front of the kids or not Yeah, exactly that was the other thing I was thinking what you said you sent me a pic message saying I
Speaker: Holly sent me a package and I was like, Oh, I don't know if you should open that next to the kids. But it was actually, I mean, it was actually pretty, it was a pretty cool package. I did get the beer bug out of it. And there's a couple other things that was in it that I liked. And there was a t -shirt in it. I don't know where the hell he found this t -shirt at. And it looked old as hell. And he's like, it was, it was an Ohio shirt and it said living in Ohio is paradise or something like that.
Speaker: And yeah, I don't know where the hell he found it at or where but my daughter's my daughter stole that but much much like much like when you say I've got a surprise for you or I've got an idea or hey listen to this I Get the same feeling in the pit of my stomach of going Jesus Christ. I don't know I did send you I did send you the best tick -tock and
Speaker: The two of us have ever seen that. That was awesome. And actually, I'm going to save it to my phone so I can share it onto Facebook without having to share the link and all that jazz. Exactly. I was laying on here, but I'm afraid that we would get muted. But.
Speaker: for those of you guys who are probably wondering what the **** we're talking about because it's nothing like a radio show talking about pictures or videos and you guys have no idea what you're seeing or or anything like that. There you go, Mark. You got your you got your comment in back. Um there you go. It's a Tiktok video and it is a Sir Sir Longkin. It's I don't know if I said that right. Sri Lanka Sri Lanka Sri
Speaker: It's an Indian Freddie Mercury singing. Yeah, basically. And it was by far one of the greatest videos I've ever seen in my life. Here's what's funny is, is I'm sitting there with my wife on the couch and I'm scrolling through TikTok because I was showing her the videos that I did. And I said, look how many views this has got because I did the, uh, I started the trend of nice of, uh, don't
Speaker: Don't Google assistant. Oh, the perfect poor. Nice. Yes. Don't Google. Don't Google assistant. Things not to Google assistant while your parents are around. And I did part one and part one got over a thousand views in less than 24 hours now for the last 15, 20 videos for you sons of bitches. The last 20 videos I've posted on TikTok have gotten like views max.
Speaker: So I was really impressed with myself and I accidentally refreshed. And that video popped up. It was the first one pop up. My wife and I sat there and watched it and I was like, she's like, okay, put the phone away as a wait. I have to send this to Chris. I said, oh, put the phone away. Just let me send this to Chris real quick. Mark, we are. We are. Well, I hope you're well.
Speaker: Damn, you're already drinking to the Cameron. I started drinking before the podcast Chris is two beers in I'm one and one and I yeah, I just poured beers three and four one and three quarters of you who may have witnessed that perfect pour That's how I get down I'll see it tonight when I rewatch it. Yeah, it was beautiful. I rewatch clips because literally
Speaker: Literally got myself confused because I was updating the I wait three or four episodes in before I update the thumbnail on the YouTube and I just updated the thumbnail on The engagement episode right if you got back from vacation Yeah, and and I was I was
Speaker: I busted my ass getting the tacos, farts, and necrophilia episode because I wanted to get all three things and I don't know if it came off very well or not. I don't know. I didn't see that. I didn't see the thumbnail. I didn't see the thumbnail that you did with where you put Pops as one of the thumbnails. That was pretty cool. Yeah. Yeah. I did that one too. But the Fourth of July episode, which is also the engagement episode, was
Speaker: was a picture of you is basically your uh i think it's your profile picture from facebook yeah that says we're engaged and then and then the american flag with fireworks in front of it and i was like oh perfect to be to be a hundred percent honest with you
Speaker: Because as if I don't have enough on my plate already. I don't really pay much attention to YouTube. I throw it up live when we go live. But after that, I just don't pay much attention to it unless I get a notification specifically from it. But the other day, what the hell was I doing? I was doing something. And I happened to jump on there and just scroll through. And I've seen a couple of thumbnails and stuff like that. Well, what's funny is I
Speaker: I redo the description of every episode, and I put our hero. I put it as a third person writing it, and it says, in this episode, our heroes, and then what happens. So it makes it a little bit funnier. So if people actually take the time to read the description of it, it's actually.
Speaker: They're kind of funny like I did on the the tacos farts and necrophilia episode I did in this episode our Heroes discuss tacos farts and necrophilia, and it's not necrophilia if it's your So and The you know all that fun stuff all that jazz yeah, I mean But I literally have to rewatch or re -listen to
Speaker: Because I'm like, what the fuck was that episode about? Yeah. Well, yeah, that's true. I have that same issue if if I take a couple of days. Yeah. And I don't upload it right away. Mm hmm. I have the same issue. I'm having an issue right now because I'm trying to do something. Here we go.
Speaker: That reminds me why you're doing stuff there. Why don't you run out the Snapchat thing, dude? Let's get that out there. Well, that's just not working out at all. I'm just going to derail the whole fucking podcast for a second. OK. There we go. OK. You know, it is what I do.
Speaker: But, um, yeah, that's what we both do. But yeah, that's what I was saying is the same issue. A lot of times if I, if I wait a few days, I'm like, what the fuck did we even talk about? And then I'll just like scroll through and I'll stop at like two or three spots just to see what kind of refreshes my brain. Exactly. Well, which is basically what I do, but, but I do it at night when everybody's gone to bed and my wife woke up.
Speaker: right at the part where I'm like, I want to stuff my wife, put her in the corner. And she's like, what the fuck, dude? I'm like, it's funny. Well, and I still I disagree with you. I think it's necrophilia regardless of whether it's your dead wife or not. It's still still not right. And, you know, that's just one of the many reasons that this podcast is I bring that up. I bring that up to tell you a quick story.
Speaker: She said that's okay. If you die before me. I'm gonna stuff you make you look like Gollum and put you in the corner Put a ring in your hand
Speaker: She's all put a button on your head where people touch and goes my I mean, she's not gonna do that much work to finish the job. That's exactly what she said. She's a you're Yeah, but it's funny she constantly says I have hobbit feet
Speaker: cause I'm a hairy motherfucker. I, I could believe that. Well, you saw my feet in that video and then one video, you were like, Oh my God, we see your feet. You need a pedicure. And I was like, fuck.
Speaker: Don't say random shit like You know
Speaker: Now I'm gonna get that damn pit in my stomach. Just every time I get a message from you. Exactly. Well, speaking of only Vans, I saw this girl on TikTok. She tells this story and she says, so I went to the gas station the other day and I'm pumping gas and this guy has got to be 20, 30 years older man. She's got to be like 22, 23, something like that.
Speaker: He says, wow, you're very pretty. Your match, your outfits is cute. You look very cute. She's like, thanks. You know, she's like, that's kind of cute. That was nice. She goes inside and the guy comes in behind her and he says, oh, I'll pay for her gas. And she's like, uh, okay. You know, so she goes out, pumps her gas and the guy goes, can I get a picture with you? And she's like, sure. And she thought, she said, well, maybe he recognized me from tick tock. Yeah. And then he asked the creepiest question. Can I see a pic? Can I get a, can I take a picture of your feet?
Speaker: I think you were telling me about this, actually. And I was like, Holy shit. And she literally said, no, got in the car and left. I can just picture her taking off in a cloud of smoke coming off the tires. No. Yeah, right. That's fucked up. Bye, bitch. I saw that. I saw that today on TikTok and I almost died laughing. I was like, that's fucked up.
Speaker: Yeah, it's a little weird. People are fucking weird. I mean, she was a cute girl and everything, but I was like, that's not my first go -to. Can I see your feet? Dude, if you want to see people's feet, go to the gym, go to the beach. Yeah, people are fucking weird these days, man. Yeah. Oh, my God. I mean, one of them. Well, that wouldn't have been the first thing I would ask to see. I'd be like, whoa.
Speaker: You know, I mean, like, can I get a picture? Okay, sure. And that would have been the end of it. I'm like, let me make sure it's a full body, you know? Other than that, I'm not going to press it. But if I was going to ask to see something, it would not be your feet. But she said, Jesus, I got in the car and left. I don't blame you. I don't lock my door.
Speaker: I got in the car, locked the door, and then left. Right now, I'm out of here. No, I gots to go. I'm late for anything. Just a bit of tire squealing. Hell yeah, burning gears. Yeah, man. Okay, I caught that early. Sorry about that. I forgot one other place to
Speaker: Share that out, so. I was going to say, do that Snapchat thing you were talking about. I just did. Oh, what a nice story of me. Story of me talking about some chick's feet. Oh, no, it was you talking about back of your dead wife and then her stuff again. Oh, nice. Any better. Yeah. Perfect. Yeah, it is what it is. I actually got rid of my Snapchat.
Speaker: Well, one thing occurred me I snapchat you and I was like, you know what? We just messenger on messenger all the time. What's the fucking point? I haven't snapped. And and as you stated, it's just going to get me in trouble. So I got ready. You have you have absolutely. I have no self control when it comes to.
Speaker: Yeah, trust me. Yeah, no trust. Trust me. Speaking of speaking of that, you need to don't be pissing the people off, man. You said follow for follow. You better get on there and start following everybody. I did not follow for follow. It was a follow. And yes, I do plan to get on it. But as you as we both agreed to, they don't have content. I'm not following fucking nobody. Yeah, exactly. I see you being.
Speaker: I've seen you be a very selective. One video is not content. Well, one video is better than just a profile pic. I did see a video. This video has been bouncing around Facebook or TikTok for a while.
Speaker: This is girl, she's, she's obviously like a stripper or something, or she's trying on bathing suits and she holds up the littlest piece of dental floss with a small triangle on it. She goes, I don't know about you guys, but my pussy's a little bit bigger than this. And some girl stitched it and she says, yes, that would be a perfect surfboard for my clit, but my lips will give me one.
Speaker: I literally I literally saved the video and said to my wife and she's like why I was like cuz it's funny How many times did you watch the original video if not the stitch I've seen the original video pop up like four or five times not enough to where I'm like, yeah, there's that chick with that
Speaker: Yeah. Nice boobs. She's got nice boobs. I saved the video. I put it in my spank collection. In my spank bank, yeah. What cracks me up, what cracks me up, I saw a video today. You know, I've had videos taken down for inappropriate content and blah, blah, blah, and you have to. I saw a video today of this chick had her tit fully out. I mean, you could see everything.
Speaker: And it hasn't been taken down because her son is breastfeeding Well, that's a different thing Was she was she was she doing was she doing one of those normalized breastfeeding things? Yes, pretty much. Oh, yeah, so that's that that's not sexual
Speaker: That's why. You know what, if I would have my shirt off in a video, I did one video with a shirt off and I got a notification saying, hey, careful. Look at yourself in the mirror and you'll know why you got that notification. I did find one that is seven ways to work out your abs better and my wife's like, see, that's the one you need to save.
Speaker: I was like, yes, but it doesn't have a hot chicken in it. So why say that? Yeah. Yeah. Just some people just don't ever grow up. As we've had many discussions, but I want to see some nonsensical side boob. Stand up, Jeff. He doesn't have a shirt on for side boob.
Speaker: uh wait here you go yeah there it is now we're banned on facebook there we go now thank you mark and now we're in trouble on facebook i got in trouble on facebook the other night i wasn't allowed to like or comment or anything first thing up for facebook figures i was in somebody else's i was in somebody else's podcast and um
Speaker: They were bitching about Facebook and all the other stupid conspiracies because they're a psychopath. And I was like, well, when you spend every day putting up posts purposely, intentionally, antagonizing Facebook. When you literally put up a video going, I'm going to get banned for this. Well, yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. And then you get in trouble. Now you want to piss and moan and cry. But I was like, when you poke the bear, that's like going up to going up to a big motherfucking go, I will beat your ass. Yeah. And then then I'm shocked when he punches me in the fucking nose. Yeah. That's what I thought of. I was like, that's what I said. You poke the bear. Eventually you're going to get swiped. I said, that'd be kind of like if somebody came up to me every single day and taught me and aggravated me.
Speaker: At some point, I'm going to break their fucking job. Well, that got taken. Yeah. Bullying and harassing. And then I guess that I got put in the corner by Facebook. They said she was a bad boy. I was like, well, Facebook, I was sticking up for you. I was sticking up for you. You dumb fucking talk. We know you can't defend yourself. You know, speaking of Zuckerberg, I found something interesting.
Speaker: Is have you seen the videos of him like shooting bows and arrows and throwing spears? No, and the spear this Zuckerberg has videos on tiktok and stuff where he's he's like shooting a bow and arrow And he's throwing a spear. The funny thing about him throwing the spear is he has hearing protection on but Besides that yes protection on for He has
Speaker: noise canceling headphones on like he like it like you would wear when you're shooting like shoot but he was just throwing a spear but he's throwing a fucking spear was it like uh did it have like an exploding tip on it or something no it's just a spear throwing at a target because he he has claimed he will not eat meat that he didn't kill himself i which i kind of respect that's why he had the headphones on something like that
Speaker: Well, he has full on noise canceling headphones like you have for your Xbox. Okay. First of all, I just don't see, I don't, I don't see Zuckerberg or whatever the hell his name is. I don't see him killing anything.
Speaker: Well, it explains why the fuck are so skinny. But I saw somebody post this, like, you know, Mark Zuckerberg has claimed he won't. You're seeing all these videos of him shooting bows and arrows and throwing spears. And he said he will not eat any meat that he didn't kill himself. And I was like, OK, I can respect that.
Speaker: I don't know about all that, but you know what, to each their own, I guess. I can respect that, but that motherfucker is going to starve the way he throws that spear. Mark was excited for your nipple, for you revealing your nipples. He said, you sir, just made a friend and then he blew you a kissy emoji. So apparently Mark's off team Glick and he's on team Hefei. There you go. Oddly enough, that's my small nipple.
Speaker: I don't even want to know. Let's just leave that for you. And now my one nipple is bigger than the other.
Speaker: Let's let's just yeah you and mark and have that discussion in your private time chats and make sure and make sure that you What the hell that pretty girl and make sure that you know that you are messaging him and not me because I swear to god if I open a message and it's you I
Speaker: wrong video but speaking of billionaires just doing silly shit and wasting their money did you see or hear about yeah well
Speaker: What was it? The guy from Virgin Mobile and Jeff Bezos both went, quote, unquote, to space. Well, Richard Branson has been trying to get his little rocket plane thing to space for several years now. Yeah. But Bezos' rocket is right out of Dr. Evil's rocket. That was shaped like a penis. Because it's shaped like a giant. Hey, Woody.
Speaker: That's a big Willie Nelson. That is one of the huge Johnsonville Bronx, everybody. Get your Johnsonville Bronx. That is some of the best double entendres in a film ever. Okay, so I want to ask you about that film in particular here in a second. Okay. Some are asking if you're trying to act like her and showing off your nipples to everybody.
Speaker: Yes, he was. No, I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want to do that anymore. He just showed them off on the camera. I do it live, baby. I was going to ask you, did you hear? Well, Branson, I think, jumped the gun and he went before Bezos. Yeah, Branson's been doing it for a couple of years now. Well, I mean, I'm talking about like he actually did it. I want to say close to 10 years.
Speaker: Yeah, but he actually did it this past week. And then I think it was Monday or whatever that Bezos went and he went like 4000 feet higher than Branson. Yeah. But he also had like these guys are literally going like 10 feet into space. It's not like they're they're halfway to the fucking moon. It's 10 feet. But it's 10 feet. It's a it's a dick measuring contents content. Yeah, pretty much. So not always got more money.
Speaker: So Branson was like, oh, I'm going to do, I'm going to move my date up and I'm going to do it before Bezos and Bezos says, you son of a bitch. Oh yeah. Well, I got one for you. I'm going to take this old ass, like 90 year old woman and this 18 year old kid. So I have the oldest person and the youngest person and I'm going to go farther than you did.
Speaker: all in one shot with my penis shaped rocket. Well, the funny thing is is is the announcement afterwards. Have you seen the whole thing? I was I was. No, I don't know. But literally thanked Amazon customers. So he has the money to actually do this.
Speaker: in a total dick move. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not going to hate on Bezos because Bezos has given you want to get your packages on time. No, I don't order a whole lot from Amazon actually to be honest with you. I don't order, I don't order online. I don't order a lot of stuff online period, but if I do, I do. I do it from Ricardo Liebe.
Speaker: I usually go through eBay because Amazon doesn't always have the stuff I'm looking for. And eBay has right does have what I'm looking for. But, um, eBay and Mark out of leeway, which is basically the same thing is, is by far better.
Speaker: But yeah, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna shit on Jeff Bezos or hate on Jeff Bezos or anything like that because over the years He has given billions and billions of dollars to share like he gives a lot Even even even his ex -wife I give mad respect to Bezos because when he started Amazon
Speaker: People are like, books? What are you fucking retarded? He's like, this way. Yeah, he literally, yeah, he literally started with nothing and everybody doubted him. So I can understand that. And Musk is the same way. I love watching Elon Musk talk because that dude is calculated. There's a story of one of his employees. Well, he's an alien dude. Dude, he's an alien. There's a story from one of his employees that he literally
Speaker: is talking to Bezos and they're in a car and Bezos is in the passenger driver front passenger seat and employees in the back and he asked Bezos question or asked Musk a question and must takes five minutes flat of dead silence.
Speaker: It's a mundane question. It's like, hey, where do you want to go eat or some shit like that? But it was a philosophical question, obviously. It was like, do you believe in this or whatever? Musk sat there for five minutes contemplating and then finally answered in the most smart way where the employee was like,
Speaker: fuck dude i was just it was a joke man calm down i just i just asked you what your favorite color was yeah it was like yeah exactly he's like dude i was just wondering when he's over mcdonald's calm down you know but but he analyzes every single thing which is why he's so fucking rich well again that's why i said it
Speaker: Musk is a fucking alien like full on full on men in black wearing a human suit. I would totally like to have a beer with Musk. I would totally be down for that. You know, he smokes you on if you're listening. Well, that's what's happening. That's what's happening to this podcast. One of the richest men on the planet is sitting down and he's the richest man on the planet is going to be like,
Speaker: You know what, I'm gonna, there's nobody, I'm gonna have a beer with this motherfucker. You know, Elon, anytime you want, show up in your Model X, and I'll make fun of it the whole fucking time, I only ask one thing, I wanna test drive the Cybertruck.
Speaker: I would buy one of those motherfuckers. Yeah, Elon's sitting down and I answer right now with nothing better to do on a Saturday than Oh He got rid did you hear this he got rid of all his mansions I Don't keep up on people like this. I just well, it's on it's all over fucking tick -tock But apparently he got rid of all these mansions and he bought he bought this
Speaker: Pop -up house where it's literally you order this house and it shows up and it assembles in like eight hours What is it like one of those memory foam mattresses where it's a two by two box and then you open it into a king -sized bed which is which is what I thought when I first heard it, but it's a prefab house and Like all the walls are built and everything but they ship them on a truck and then you you bolt it all together and
Speaker: And the theory is that he is testing out Mars homes. Oh, sweet. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'll let that not that. Yeah, not that. No. Yeah. Well, that's because he wants to go back to a home planet because that's where he's from. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Like I said, he's colonized Mars. I'm like, well, you you obviously fucked up your planet. You're coming down here. Don't go back to your own planet.
Speaker: Yeah, he's he's full on. Like I said, he's full on men in black. He's he's that little alien that was inside that human suit, a little robot. Exactly. Like the face came off and there was that little tiny alien in there. And that's Elon Musk. Yep, yep, yep, yep. That's Elon Musk. And you know what? Yeah, I'd totally be down to hanging out with that motherfucker. And as I've told you, I don't know how many times stop getting your fucking news from TikTok. Jesus. It's actually true. He sold one hundred and fifty million dollar mansion.
Speaker: I don't think he actually sold it. He probably sold it to his wife for a dollar, so he still got it, but it's in her name. He can test out these houses. He's living in one of these prefab houses. I don't know, man. Like I said, you can tell me that 1964
Speaker: Mustang has the 351 Chevy big block in it with the Dodge transmission and I'd be like, oh, okay. I mean, you sound incredibly fucking stupid right now. I'd be like, you sound incredibly fucking stupid right now, but I mean, I don't know that I don't care enough to go. We got in a small discussion about that last week about we were talking about the 1980 C10.
Speaker: You got into a discussion about it and I just was like, Oh, here goes Jeff. His eyes glaze over. It's like, I don't, I look, I, you know, I've never denied the fact that I don't know shit about cars. I don't know the first thing about a car. I, you know, I can change a law. I can change a tire. I can, I can, I can do things.
Speaker: You know, but I'm not that is that is that is one step over most millennials But however, that is bay the base acknowledge that I believe In order to pass your driver's test nowadays, you know, like you don't have fucking parallel park to get your driver's test But I believe that part of getting your driver's test yet. You should have it to know how to change the oil and parallel park and Well, yeah
Speaker: I don't know about all that. I mean, anymore, everything you got, but you know, I've changed. Yeah, I'm not a mechanic, but I've changed starters out. I did, I did the complete, I, I, I redid the brake lines on my Bronco. I've, you know,
Speaker: Yeah. I did that sitting in the driveway of my apartment complex. Me and my buddy. We literally reached the bottom of the door. Well, my buddy, who is not much bigger than you, we were, I was sitting like, like, I don't even know if I'm allowed to say this, but I was sitting in Indian style underneath my bronco. That is the thing. I don't know. I don't know what the PC term for that is, but yes, I get it.
Speaker: He was he was on it was like like kind of on his knees half squat and he was like And he's like your engine compartment I'm like, that's fantastic. Oh Holy shit. I just found the coolest news about the new Bronco. Okay. Now. I'm not a big fan of the new Bronco I think it's it's it's kind of a pussy version of what a Bronco is they ruined it. Yes but
Speaker: In the wheel well of the Bronco, it is stamped into the plastic of the wheel well. It says, lift me baby. Are you serious? I'm not kidding. I saw it today. This guy bought a brand new Bronco and he's lifting it. And he goes, I just found the coolest thing on, you know, it's on TikTok. He says, I just found the coolest thing on the new Bronco.
Speaker: and I have to share it with everybody and it literally says, lift me baby. And I was like, nice. But those things are so fucking. That would be reasonable for me. That would be reasonable for me to buy it. Those things are so fucking ugly as it is. They're terrible. They're ruined. I can't imagine putting a lift on them.
Speaker: and because I think I don't think they would look good lifted, but speaking of ugly ass cars that should have never been made, you know, the G. Oh, yeah. So I seen a video on Facebook, I think it might have been where I got a guy was like. So you talk about that turned into convertible. Yeah, I took the Salzal to tell me you don't want that fucking thing. That thing look badass, right? I want it.
Speaker: I was literally ready to send a message to jeep saying build this motherfucker. I will buy it I don't have any money, but I will rob steel and beg and borrow And jeep was you sent a message to jeep or they'd be like who the fuck are you again? No, but yeah, it was like Yeah, the video started and it was like pointed out of the crowd and it was like it could be
Speaker: Y 'all don't like the Jeep Liberty's but look what I did with this Saul's all and he just held the blade in front of the camera and then hand up and That that Jeep Liberty and you could tell that he this man legitimately took a sawzall Yeah, he did not he did not make it look pretty No, he didn't he just cut that motherfucker right of the A and B and C pillar or all he called B and C pillar called it a fucking day and it looks fucking amazing
Speaker: it looks like it looks like uh what I what it reminded me of was like a look like remember back in the day the old beach buggies the old beach dune buggies yeah that's what it reminded me of it looked like it basically looked like somebody took it it's the the first incarnation of the four -door jeep wrangler is basically what it looked like
Speaker: Form of cut off top yeah And you could you could totally rock that I would totally rock that thing the only problem I would have with it you would have to completely You can't build a soft top from scratch. It's almost impossible That's only that's that that is only a hey, what's up pops are you guys home already? That is that is a summer car when there's not a cloud in the sky
Speaker: However, it has seats if you recover the seats in neoprene Which is what they make wetsuits out of just find a line the wholesome bitch I saw that video and I was like, you know what? I
Speaker: I'm not a fan of Jeep Liberty. However, I will say the first time I drove a Jeep Liberty, my one of my ex bosses had one. She she gave it to me for a week. She's like, drive this back and forth to work. I was like, all right, whatever. I was impressed on its pickup. It'll get up and go. Well, I mean, I just I've never been. I like the Wranglers. I never really liked the Cherokees. Never really, you know, any of that.
Speaker: a buddy of mine, Kevin, who who lives down the road. I think they still have it. He's got a fucking Jeep Cherokee with a goddamn Hemi in it. Oh, yeah. Well, it's my neighbor. My neighbor just who just moved into the house all the way close to the gate has got the Dodge Durango with five nine in it. I got the same thing.
Speaker: It's it's not the hellcat, but it's the same thing. It's in the charger regular. Wait, hold on. I got something for you. Listen. Oh, yeah. Are you drinking those for? No, I actually had them in the fridge and I brought them all up so I could drink them during the podcast. And daddy's tipsy. Go get them. I'm tipsy already.
Speaker: I I'm I'm contemplating if I could send my kids to the **** store. Oh, they're also not old enough. You could send them to the store. I know. Damn. I put on my neighbors. Yeah, do that. Pops put 260 miles on the bike today. Him and Joe went out. They went up to like Amish country and **** like that on the bike with some of their with some of their can and friends I guess today.
Speaker: They used to rent them here, and they stopped renting them for the simple fact that they kept having to replace tires because all the crazy fucking Americans would come down here and rip the shit out of the back tire. Because they'd be sitting doing burnouts down the main drag. I was the first to do it.
Speaker: The owner used to rent them out, lent me one for a day and I brought it back and I was like, Hey, I got the insurance so you need a new tire. I think down in Pigeon Forge, they rent like the big razors and stuff like that.
Speaker: Yeah, they do that here too. Adult summer, I was like, next time we come down, we should totally get one because they've got them big enough for like a whole family. I was like, we should totally get one so that we could come up to Gatlinburg and all that stuff. If I ever buy one, I'm not buying a razor. If I ever buy one, and if you ever buy one, do not buy the razor. What you need to look for is the Wildcat X.
Speaker: Don't tell me what I need to do. No, here's why. Here's why. That's what you only had one beer since you said you were tipsy. This is number four. But as some of the more beers and the first time I just got started, I am on number four. I just cracked number four. You go, you know, one of your neighbors to go buy you more beer. I know, right? I should have bought more. But the Wildcat X.
Speaker: The the razor has like what like 200 horsepower some shit like that, right? I'll get X. Okay. Well It the ballpark it 200 horse and as I think it's less than that. It's a thousand CCs.
Speaker: but it's like okay horsepower and that's that's perfectly fine for a completely opened off -road vehicle oh no hold on that i want to drive around vision forge in gatlinburg that i probably won't get every 45 miles an hour 350 horsepower because you don't need that you don't need that oh
Speaker: shut your whore mouth. That is no such thing as too much power in a vehicle. Okay. Okay. Now we're, you, you are not even, you are a vehicle that will literally destroy a set of tires in first gear. Okay. No, you're not even, you're not even SVM right now. You're, you're, you're, you're MPS micro penis syndrome.
Speaker: No, well, here's the thing. I don't need, I don't need 10 ,000 horsepower, but I do have a Napoleonic complex. I don't. Yeah. Little man syndrome. I don't need 10 ,000 horsepower on a, on a razor or a wildcat or anything like that, that I want to rate or I want to rent.
Speaker: and Pigeon Forge or Gatlinburg that I'm probably not even going to get to get over 55 miles an hour or if I own my own household property that I'm going to use as a fucking trail toy that I can go into woods or do this and the other thing. I don't need to go 350 miles an hour and I don't need to go zero to a hundred and one point three seconds.
Speaker: It's a freaking off road toy. I want to, I don't need speed. I need, I need power so I can play the mode and I can find the vehicle. I want every vehicle I own to break the sound barrier. I don't know. You're not helping matters any. What'd she say? She said exactly. Never too much power. There's, there's a thing.
Speaker: You, my little tiny friend, feel like you have something to prove to the world. Yes. You know, I have, I have the design of what I need to do to make my eclipse better. Hey, I want to, I want to switch it over. You know, my there's, there's, you know, what you can do to make your eclipse better. Yeah. I know by your fucking mouth and buy an American car.
Speaker: Well, apparently everybody's on team Jeff over here. Mark even said there's enough power. The Eclipse is an American car because it is a DSM. No, it is a DSM. It was brought into the United States by Dodge, which is why it has the fucking Iron Duke in it. But besides that,
Speaker: Yeah, well, this is the end of Jeff's garage because I'm incredibly bored and I just don't care. Still, we're going to move on to another topic and another subject. Bring up one of those stories I sent you because I definitely want to talk about that bridge in China. Yes, Mark. Yes, we don't grow up. Our toys just get bigger. But you're also talking to a guy who used to own a big ass Bronco. And I love my Bronco and it wasn't very fast, but I guarantee you my Bronco. I know that thing was so slow.
Speaker: That Bronco, I could have hooked up 27 of your stupid little imports and drug them sons of bitches all over the place. And if you really pissed me off enough, I would have just ran your fucking little cars over and made you look stupid.
Speaker: and and you have to go first and I could go in the field I could go in the mud I could go anywhere I wanted in it where you silly simple -minded sons of bitches couldn't even drive over a fucking speed bump no that's why I want to build hence why I want to build Jolene Jolene is my truck that I will build one day
Speaker: So yes, and I've had several four by four trucks. And I will take my slow ass four by four truck over a stupid, souped up, low riding import any single, any day of the week, any fucking day of the week. As a motor head, gear head, car freak, I am all about the off road. However, on road, anything that will go fast, I'll drive.
Speaker: Oh, damn. What is that, Pops? Well, well, well, well, well. I'm not sure what happened. Officer sent me a picture. That is not a Harley. Is he sitting on a Harley? He sent me a picture he was sitting on. He said that they were the only can and they were out with two Harleys and a Honda today. Oh, my. My sister's agreeing with you. She sucks. My older sister, my old. Speaking of old.
Speaker: I want to give a shout out to my man, our man, Vincent Borean. It is his 40th birthday. Happy back, Vince. Yeah, Vinny Mac. Happy birthday, brother. I was speaking a shout out. Vinny Mac. Not that they'll hear this, but two of my very good friends.
Speaker: my TikTok family, my brother and sister, they got married today. So congratulations to them. It was a very, it was a, it sounds weird. You just said my brother and sister. I was like, wait. Yeah. I said, I said, this was really a two incense real fast. I said, TikTok family. Yes, I get that. I love both of them to death. They got married today. It was a beautiful wedding and they,
Speaker: Both look absolutely amazing. She looked great in her dress and he and an angel. Bunny looked great in her dress and Angel looked fantastic in his suit. Boy can clean up man, he looked great.
Speaker: And the ceremony was really pretty. So and yes, I was watching it live. And yes, I cried. Judge me if you will. I don't care. But yeah, you got to compose myself. I did. I've gotten a little bit soft in my old age and I was happy for him because you know what? Some of the best. Videos I get me is wedding videos on YouTube and shit. So, you know,
Speaker: Hopefully their party ended up and getting tore up from the floor up currently right now. They're both, they're both, uh, they're both Hispanic. So, you know, that they're throwing down and having a fucking party right now. There's shit tons of beer flowing right now. I would probably say there's a lot of tequila flowed, but, but congratulations to them.
Speaker: Yeah. Well, trust me, I it is the only white guy in Mexico you're from as the only white guy in this this TikTok family full of Hispanics. They love their fucking tequila. They all do. Don't get me wrong. I I've I've kind of what you just walked into, Cameron, just go with the frame.
Speaker: a frame from drinking with my, my Mexican brethren that live around me because you, you afraid of the beer runs out. They bring it. No, I, I, what, it was the word a frame. No, it's reframe. It's one of the big reframing. Yes. Thanks. I didn't even have a word. It's like a six letter word. No, no, but it's, it's, it's a smart word. I'm trying to sound smart fucker. Jesus Christ.
Speaker: You know that if you try to sound smart around me, I'm just gonna I'm just gonna break More stupid my wife does the same thing Jesus my wife does it but
Speaker: You're the little spoon. Yeah, you're the little spoon of the big spoon. We don't we don't fit well if we try to do it reverse. It doesn't work. Yeah, one of these days. One of these days.
Speaker: Just let me be the big spoon one time. You take up like half of my back and it's like, I feel like I got a little spider monkey on my back. Jeff, this doesn't feel right. That reminds me of, I was, I was watching Bert Kreissner, the man, the metal legend. Is it Kreisscher? Anyway, he was talking to somebody and he says, I watched gay porn once.
Speaker: for 45 minutes and I was like whoa what kind of video is your like I'm into this I accidentally one time on the the website I use and I say use because I use it
Speaker: It's called XNXX. Yes! That is the best. How awesome is that fucking website? If you can think of it, there's a video out there. That is, man, for years. And I'm talking Blackberry when I got a Blackberry when they first came out. Yes. Yes. However, they have that one spot that if you accidentally hit,
Speaker: it will switch to gay, trans, or straight. There is no accident about that. You intentionally hit that. No, no, no, no, no. Don't even, don't, don't, don't try to backtrack. It's literally right next to the categories. It's right next to categories. No, don't try to talk your way out of this. You were furious. No, no, no, no. I will fully admit it. I will fully admit it. Then I'm like, okay.
Speaker: You you were actually switched to I didn't realize it at the time. I switched to
Speaker: I switched to trans. I kid you not, I'm three videos, I'm three scrolls, you know, three pages in. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You said it. You know how you scroll down and you're like, next page. Nope, nope, nope, nope. I'm three pages in and I'm like, there's a lot of transport on here today. What the fuck? That's what we call a Freudian slip. And you said you were three videos in.
Speaker: You are three videos when I saw I saw I saw this this Chick that I was like wow that chicks really cute. I started watching the video next thing I know I was like holy shit And I exited out so fast that you thought my phone was on fire I
Speaker: You can you can watch tranny porn if it's if it's trainees banging chicks He went from aquatic. He went from aquatic interest to gay and Yes, we were where we hold no back as long as as long as you're watching as long as you're watching training chicks banging real chicks It's not gay
Speaker: Well, that's what my thought was, because I was this this. But you were three videos in. You were three videos in on train chicks. No, but you're like just going that. Just going to town on. If you click on trans and you scroll and you're like, what the fuck? There's a lot of what the fuck? Is that dude got what the fuck?
Speaker: Yeah. And I finally found one. I was like, Oh, finally a chick because, you know, you can see poon. And I was like, all right, here we go. And I was like, Holy shit. That's a giant chick. Yeah. I keep it simple. Lesbian gang bangs all day, every day. Actually, actually.
Speaker: I can't get into lesbian porn. I can't get into lesbian porn. What is your favorite type of porn? We're already here. Let's venture down. Oddly enough, oddly enough, and it's going to shock you. It's not really shocking. I like amateur. I hate... Peace reality.
Speaker: There's a video on said website That I've literally been trying to find for the past couple days there's a there there's a a What do you call it like a channel or a trend or like a a group called sex mechs?
Speaker: S -E -X M -E -X yeah, and there's it's this guy he walks around Mexico City and He asked girls. Hey, you know, but there's a girl He meets in the subway And he convinces her that they're doing a kissing contest Yeah air quotes. Yeah, but those those are
Speaker: Oh, it's not amateur at all. Yeah, they're all fake. Mark said, Mark said, keep it real. Don't let videos get too fake. It's better when it's real and not scripted. Exactly. Thank you. Go into the search bar and type in homemade.
Speaker: Oh, no, I do that. I do like homemade pops. I have a homemade. It's like get a fucking better camera angle. I don't want to see your power. Oh, no. Pop said, what the fuck? Cameron's like, I've never spent more than two minutes watching your podcast before. I'm surprised you haven't been sucked. Trust me. We're 28 episodes in Cameron. And we're surprised we haven't been sucked before. You know shit, right? But
Speaker: But literally, this girl, this girl is so fucking sexy. Her name, her name, she's become a porn celebrity. Her name is Paula Ramos. A porn star. She's gorgeous. She's a porn star now. But she started with this first video. And the first video I'm going to send you, I'll send you a link. I would rather you not send me porn.
Speaker: I'm, I'm really, I would really rather our gorgeous. She's gorgeous. I would really rather our relationship not moved to that level where we're sending each other. I realized that we, I understand that we, we have been friends for well over half of our lives.
Speaker: And in the almost 25 years that we've been friends, we've never shared porn with each other. And considering the fact that you accidentally on purpose clicked on the gay section, I don't need you sending me your porn papers. No, it wasn't the gay section. It was the trans section. You're going to send me a video. You're going to be like, look at this hot ass chick. And I'm going to click on it about three seconds into it. All of a sudden, this fucking 12 inch monster is going to flop out. I'm going to be like, oh, damn.
Speaker: I'm seriously, I'm seriously going to search a video just to send that to you. Don't get yourself on fire. I did drop my cigarette, but. They're the funny thing about XNXX is that, like I said, anything you can think of. Mark said his DMS are open.
Speaker: That is literally the greatest website. I'm not a fan of Pornhub. I'm not a fan of Pornhub because it's just a pan -ass. Well, you get too many pop -ups on Pornhub or X -Hamster or whatever. You know, I just, I look. X -Hamster Live? Genius. Yeah. I don't know. But in all honesty, you know, men are visual.
Speaker: Pigs. Oh, yeah. We're, we're, we're, we're savage monsters. We are, we're, we're disgusting. Speaking of visual, I got one for you. I got a website for you. ImageFapFAP .com. Yeah. Okay. Literally nothing but pictures. Everybody and anybody who listens to this, there's your new website. So, so men, men are, we are, we are very visual.
Speaker: So, granted, most of us only need like 10, 20 seconds. I spend more time looking for a video than I actually do. Exactly. I was about to say the same thing. I was about to say the same thing. Because it's all about the right video. Yeah, where women can use their imagination. And I'm not saying that men can't.
Speaker: You know and and maybe you're wrong and yeah, yeah, I mean but women are more Likely to just do what they do and they don't they don't need the visual or the setting the other thing So, you know, but porn has become porn isn't and now porn isn't so taboo. It's not It's so mainstream now. Yeah with with with only fans being like it is and
Speaker: It's, it's ridiculous. Yeah. Pornhub. Mark said Pornhub has a mad lawsuits at the minute with some crazy stuff. I'd stay clear for a while. I, I don't know. What is the lawsuit where they got underage? But, um, you know, I don't go there. No.
Speaker: you know, I may or may not have personal videos that I can use for a visual stimulation. So I don't necessarily. For a good vid, if you like, if you like. Oh, Pornhub's in trouble for minors. Oh, nice. Not surprised. I'm not surprised.
Speaker: Yeah, no, no. Freudian slip. Another Freudian slip. We know what Jeff's into now. Nice isn't like, oh, I'm going to pour it up tonight. No, but I mean, Jeff's going to be, Jeff's going to be on how to catch a predator. He's going to show up with a four pack of wine coolers and Oreos. You like, you like the cate? I've always had a problem with pouring hub. I don't, I don't like it.
Speaker: Yeah. No, I just don't care for it. Some nasty stuff. Oh, so he's a point hub. People have been uploading some homemade, nasty stuff. You know, the crazy thing about it is some of these porn sites will pay like up to $35 ,000 or like a minimum, like, uh, like a starting rate of like 25 to $35 ,000, uh, or more for like a homemade porn. If you, if you have, you know, if you've ever recorded anything, no,
Speaker: Just just in general, I mean if you ever made anything with your significant other I got a camera and a tripod fuck Don't pay you $10 not to post it That's that's that's a lot of money though I
Speaker: But yeah, they will fail. I mean, I don't know the specifics behind it or anything like that. I'm sure there's I'm sure there's if you slurp that fucking beer, I'm going to take you off camera. I'm not going to. I'm feeling good. You can upload to any porn site.
Speaker: without being an expert. Yeah, without any ID. And that's the thing. Actually, not too long ago, I was talking to a friend of mine. I was uploading videos on the board. No, I was talking to a friend of mine. What hashtag should I not use? I was talking to a friend of mine that likes a site. I don't even know. It just randomly, organically happened about
Speaker: much like this, how we got onto the whole point subject. Um, and he was saying that there was a website with, it's a live cam website and uh, they, they got torn apart because there were chicks on there that were underage and it was like, and they just didn't care because they don't, they don't validate or verify age or whatever. Upload what you upload. Mm -hmm.
Speaker: So, well, one of the, one of the funniest things I've saw, much like only advanced. I don't, I don't, I don't care for the live cams and this and the other thing, because I'm not spending money. I'm not going to live cam. Yeah. The problem I have with live cams, it's like, you know what? Show me the good shit. I don't want to see you just sitting there staring at your camera. Yeah.
Speaker: I can go on TikTok and watch some dumb ass chick spin around in a bathtub in a white t -shirt. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. You're on live cam right now. We are technically on live cam right now. We're just not doing dirty things. Well, the difference is we're talking about. And we're not charging anybody. Except you, Mark. You have to pay your minimum weekly fee of $10. So get on that. Amen to that. Mark said dance, guys. Come on. Dance for it. Mark said dance for daddy in his English accent.
Speaker: Actually, um, I tried to post the podcast stuff on Reddit. And if you go on to Reddit and put in NSFW, you will find everything, you know, it's mostly just chicks trying to promote their only fans.
Speaker: But it's like when you see the fixed pictures they have on Reddit, you're like, why do I need your own events? I've seen everything. Except your face. Yeah, exactly. Well, I mean, and that's become social media in general. Yeah. Because the nice thing about Reddit is they show everything where TikTok is like, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker: and YouTube like fuck no. Well, I mean, Twitter is is the Wild West. So. Mm hmm. Reddit is Reddit. I can't fucking talk English, Mark. I know. Right. Reddit is just a toxic dump site. Oh, it's crazy. Oh, shit. I can't even English today. I don't. It's right. I had read it. I had gotten Reddit.
Speaker: And I think that we talked about this before I'd gotten read it once before I think and then I deleted it Because I'd gotten it was too much for No, no, no, no, no, no, I yeah No, I'd gotten it for sports related stuff and I just I couldn't figure it out and it just I never took me to where I wanted to go and Unless you're looking for
Speaker: Nudity you're not gonna find what the fuck you want because you're gonna find everything but Yeah, so I like I downloaded it specifically for for football and hockey stuff and there was a couple guys that I follow
Speaker: from like NFL network and like ESPN and stuff that do football and hockey analysis. And I was listening, I don't know if I was watching the SportsCenter or what I was watching, but they were like, you know, go to our Reddit page, blah, blah, blah. And they, you know, they can get a little bit more in depth and put links in this and the other thing. And it was just, I was like, no, fuck this. This is an obnoxious fucking app.
Speaker: Oh, it's terrible. It's terrible. Um, it's, it's so random, but posting anything on Reddit is a fucking nightmare. Yeah. So, you know, I'm just posting a link to the podcast. There's like 14 different rules for every place you post or it won't post at all.
Speaker: even though you've posted it, you know what I mean? It's like it has to be approved by the admin and I was like, ah. Yeah, it's it's just but I mean, social media across the board. Mark said he was on it for two days and then all of a sudden was getting my car and shit. What the fuck? But social media in general, because everybody's every motherfucking person has an only fans page. So you can't scroll through Instagram or
Speaker: or Twitter or even I mean even Facebook especially on TikTok without somebody promoting their god damn home to fans. It's like look bitch you're in Ohio six which means anywhere else you're like a one. You're like a three. Yeah and at best you're a three. Yeah so nobody wants to see that and why would I pay ten dollars a month
Speaker: to look at you when I can go, I can go into Google and I can, and I can just say, Hey, Google, I can find free porn. Show me. Yeah. What's your question? A couple of years ago, they had, they had that, um, that what, what was it called? Uh, the fappening. Yes. Thank you. Uh, I've been to that website. Well,
Speaker: And I got to say, I was kind of impressed. I think, I think a lot of, I think a lot of men and women, both equally, maybe a little bit more men than women have gone to that website, just because everybody's curious. Oh, let's, you know, like women, because there was started out, there was a, when it first announced.
Speaker: my my girlfriend at the time, I was like, that's bullshit. There's no way. And she was like, look it up. I was like, all right, we're going to look at porn tonight. And, you know, there's literally a list of everybody. And I was like, whoa. You know, Mark's got a fan fans only. Only only fans. It's called Marcy Blue. Sixty nine. Adam, you get the first you get the first month for each other.
Speaker: Cameron, what's your question? Let me save that.
Speaker: But I mean, even, even male celebrities have, what was it? Chris Evans, Captain America had photos of his, America's dong was released and women were losing their fucking mind. Cause apparently Chris Evans was on like goddamn horse. And there was an ad down here and it only aired in Mexico.
Speaker: There's a brand of milk called lala la la And it's it's it comes in a box like cardboard box kind of thing and Milk down here is weird, but but he did an ad for lala milk and he only speaks English in it and there's subtitles and It went fucking viral because like people are going out and buying fucking lala milk like you read about because they're like
Speaker: That dude is literally, I'm sure if he started an only fans that we make a couple of extra million dollars tomorrow. Well, I'm sure he's not hurting the money. So, so he doesn't, Cameron, Cameron asked him to chat. He's trying to change the subject. So apparently, you know, we're a little bit, uh, for him.
Speaker: Yeah. Oh, Cameron. So Cameron thinks he's better than everybody else. So I have to excuse him. Oh, my face pants over there. Yeah, that's his question. So he asked me, and you probably don't know anything about this. You might. So remember, did you hear about the Washington Redskins, the NFL team? They had to change their team name because it was offensive dandians. Yeah. So the Washington Redskins, NFL football franchise,
Speaker: they it was offensive to the Indians or whatever. So, they had to change their name. So, they changed it. They they couldn't they couldn't
Speaker: They couldn't come up with the team name. So they came up with a name more generic than the Cleveland Browns. And now they are the Washington football team. That's, I swear to God, that's, that's, that's, that's what they are. We discussed this, we discussed this in another podcast. They're, they're literally the Washington football team was like, really? So get somebody creative on that team. So they, so they went after a baseball team. They went after the Cleveland Indians.
Speaker: you got the Atlanta Braves and this that and the other thing. So, they went after the Cleveland Indians. I have information about this. I have information about this and I, I don't know what. Go ahead. Because and the Indians initially said that and I thought the Indians were going to be slick and I thought they were because they initially said, we are not changing our team name this year.
Speaker: we will readdress it next season. And I thought they were gonna be slick and just not change their name and let it blow over.
Speaker: Yeah, and just go on about their business. Well, it was announced today, I believe, that the Cleveland Indians, the world famous Cleveland Indians made famous for World Series appearances. They were in Major League 1 and 2. And 3.
Speaker: Sort of sort of Chief Wahoo was her mascot blah blah blah announced that they are now changing their name from the Cleveland Indians to the Cleveland Guardians Blasphemy so Cameron wants to know how I feel about it. I don't honestly I don't care It's as an Indians fan I'm a redstone, so I don't
Speaker: But not a fan as in like, whoo, let's get on and fucking Indians. But I am an Indians fan because I'm from fucking Ohio. But the Cleveland Indians got their name. They got their name from the first Native American to play baseball professionally was part of the Cleveland Indians team, and they named the team after him in honor of him.
Speaker: You're pooping. I hope you're having a good poop. Well, you know what? It doesn't matter because it doesn't matter why they named it. I don't know. It doesn't matter why they they named the Indians. It doesn't matter because there was a group of
Speaker: 16 to 19 year old white kids that were offended by it so they had to change the name so don't go to the fucking game you fucking pussies yeah but here's the thing i i i think it's dumb i think it's incredibly stupid but i am i'm really happy that they actually came up with a team name and
Speaker: I kind of like the Guardians. I'm not going to lie. It doesn't sound terrible. Yeah, it doesn't sound bad. I'm curious to see. I'm curious to see the new logos and stuff like that. I think I think the change in of team names is incredibly stupid. I think you too. But, you know, I'm with you on that. We unfortunately, we live in a world
Speaker: that is about to be taken over by a bunch of butter, sissy nannies, and eventually one of them's gonna get froggy enough to where the actual hard -nosed, toughened, I grew up rubbing dirt into my wounds, drinking from the water hose. One of these gentsy idiots are gonna fire the first shot, and then we're gonna be able to eliminate them.
Speaker: You know, we'll go on from there at the end of the day. Yeah. No, I I totally fucking agree the But I don't name of a team that's been around for how long is the Indian has been around a hundred years Let's call 75 that's just asinine and
Speaker: I can still look up Cleveland Indians. So I got that going for me. How long have the Cleveland Indians been around? Nineteen fifteen. So one hundred and six years. OK. One hundred and six years. And you're going to change the name because some butt hurt. Yeah. So I mean, but like I said, I get I'm like, dude, you're not even Native American, you fucking prick. Yeah. Like I said, I think it's incredibly stupid. I think the I think the name of the new name.
Speaker: I think that I think the new name is kind of cool. I'm kind of curious to see where they go with the new logo and everything. I do math. I don't mind. I don't mind the name. I am just thankful that I still wear my Cleveland Indians hat.
Speaker: I am a fan of the Cleveland Browns, the Cincinnati Reds, and the Columbus Blue Jackets. So you are as usual as a fucking git. It's just like colors apparently. I like colors. Nobody's afraid about color. Fucking Bob Ross over here.
Speaker: Like his wife is about to get on day and with Somerset you keep looking what basically she's saying your paranoid But yeah, I'm I'm uh, I'm keeping an eye on my kids cuz they're out here playing They're using my car as a jungle I like colors. Thank you
Speaker: I mean, I do like the Michigan Wolverines, which everybody hates me because I live in Ohio and I'm a Michigan fan. So yes. But what do you say? What do you say when Michigan is winning? Go Blue. Yeah. OK, fair enough. No, we say hell to the victors. Which probably could get us in trouble in all honesty. Hell to who? The victors. Who the fuck is victors?
Speaker: Listen, German, I don't know. They won. So it's a victory. They're victors. They were victorious over there. Yeah, over there rival. Calm down. Yeah. Now, like I said, I just get paid. I live in Ohio, and I'm a Michigan fan. Speaking of Michigan, actually, on the sports subject, speaking of Michigan, they've been getting their asses handed to them by Ohio State for the last several years.
Speaker: Jim Harbaugh came out in a press conference the other day and he said we are turning this program around and we are going to beat our rivals and we are going to win a Big Ten championship and we are going to beat Ohio State if it fucking kills us.
Speaker: and this god damn it was the Jim Harbaugh that I've been wanting for five fucking years. This was the Jim Harbaugh that I thought I was gonna get when they hired him and he has not lived up to that. So, Jim Harbaugh. Okay. Well, or John Hart. Well, first of all, John Harbaugh. Just to bust your balls a little bit. Just to bust your balls a little bit. Go Bucks. As as the host of this show,
Speaker: after tonight, Jeff will no longer be with us next uh next Wednesday. We'll be holding a uh uh memorial service for Jeff because he didn't die. He he's just got canceled off of the pocket. But uh but yeah, so I'm like, alright, well, Jim, let's see if you're gonna actually live up to this hype and um no, I mean, they went two and four last season.
Speaker: That's not an issue. As somebody that when I was in when I was in grade school and shut up Cameron your team was irrelevant for like 45 years and they play in the ACC that I'm pretty sure I could put a football team together and win in the ACC. When I was in school I was always I always thought I'm
Speaker: How can I say it? I've always gone against the grain. So in grade school, everybody be like, go box. And I'm like, fuck you. I was always, for the simple fact is I just like to go against the grain. Cause I'm like, fuck you. What are you going to do? The Ohio state Michigan game. I think I've seen two in my entire life.
Speaker: But I'm always like, Michigan is going to win all the day. Pop said I was dropped off my head one too many times as a child because I'm a Michigan fan. And he's like, I know I was the one who dropped him.
Speaker: fantastic. My dad just, you hear that on the podcast. My dad just admitted to child abuse. So I don't know if I can get some. I want the bike. I want the truck. I want the bike. I want the truck and uh, and I'll take the house as well. No, that's, that's how I started out to be honest with you as a Michigan fan.
Speaker: I was young and I was just like, I don't wanna be on a high state band cuz everybody and their brothers are in a high state band. So I became a Michigan fan. And then as I got older and I started understanding football and I became a football fan, I stayed with them. So I like Michigan basketball, I like Michigan football, hockey. I'm a Michigan guy through and through, even though I live in Ohio.
Speaker: for your comment pops. Cameron said, I really should have shot you that night. Someone get this man a beer. I'm sure dropping me out of my head wasn't the worst thing he ever did to me but you know, it is what it is. He said his house safe and sound so you can talk **** Of course, I can't talk too much **** because the last time I talked **** is goofy ****
Speaker: And then Jeff has made fun of us ever since because, because him and I got drunk as hell and was, uh, singing along to blacked out mojo and shit. I don't know what it is. The difference between me drinking soda for two hours plus recycling beer for over an hour, but the beer makes me have to piss more.
Speaker: What's up with that? I don't know, man. I piss a lot when I drink beer, too. It's an odd concept. I get to a point where I drink a beer, I take a piss. I drink a beer, I take a piss. I drink a beer, I take a piss. Yeah, well, it all comes up. We call it popping the cork. No, it's breaking the seal. No, it's breaking the seal. Breaking the seal, popping the cork, same difference. But when you start drinking, if you
Speaker: hold out as long as possible to take that first piss. Mm hmm. But ever, ever, ever after you break that seal, fuck, you're done. You're going to piss over five minutes. That's game over. Now, yet pops was in here talking about dropping me on my head and Cameron said you really should have shot your dad that night.
Speaker: and then I made the comment that he's safe, that he's safe and sound. Hilarious. Yeah. And then I made the comment because it's just you and Pops fucking fangirling out over Blacktop Mojo for over an hour. Well, as I said, I said that I made the comment that the last time I talked shit, his goofy ass showed up here. We have fun. We got drunk and we have pops and pops and and Joe and I, we have fun. We drink together.
Speaker: Joseph are talking about your thing. Two inches wide, two inches in diameter, six inches long. Giving me all kinds of credit minus the back of the penicillin is not working. No, Pops and Joe and I have fun when we drink together. I mean, we, we generally, the three of us can have fun together, period. But when we get together and we drink, we have fun. You know, we, we just don't care. Um, but, uh,
Speaker: Oh, yeah, I was I was gonna tell you on the sports. I got one more sports thing Okay, let me drink my beer so the Cleveland Browns
Speaker: their uniforms are what they are. They're not, there's nothing spectacular. There's nothing pretty. They're just, they are what they are. Well, they've been hyping up the new uniforms. They've been hyping up the new uniforms that they're coming out with for this season. Man, they've been hyping them up for the last like three, four weeks. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, I'm getting excited. Cause I'm a Browns fan. I get excited for everything Cleveland.
Speaker: they released their new colors. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, they did not disappoint. They released their new uniforms today. Oh my goodness. They are sexy. Boy, I gotta get me a new jersey this year. They are a retro jersey. They're going back to 1946 when the team came into the league and they were great. Oh man, they are awesome. I'll have to look that up.
Speaker: uh no facebook he doesn't camera i'll send you uh no he doesn't i'll send you a picture i'll send you a picture dude they're nice i love them i i do i want i want one of these new jersey's this season uh they look fantastic
Speaker: but I'll have to definitely check that out on that football season is coming up and the rookies reported to training camp this week. So the training camp is about in session. We're about 40 ish days away from NFL.
Speaker: Jeff, I'm gonna need you to get on it this year. Oh, God. You're a Browns fan. I'll send you a link so you can watch all the Browns. If I can send you one of my old Browns jerseys, I'll send you one. It'll be like a nightgown on you. Look, honey, I got a nightgown to sleep in. Click, send it to me. OK, here comes number six.
Speaker: Oh, yeah. Oh, what is that? An hour in ordinary neighbor, elderly neighbor. Oh, I'm going to spend the course. Go give me a surveys as per for four. I know. I know. I'm kind of looking around for neighbors. You know, I'm trying to buy the pool. See, even even Cam, Cam jumped on board and he reached for the Browns and he's a Carolina Panthers fan.
Speaker: Next year. Hey, Cameron, next year, buddy. Oh, next year, Carolina and Cleveland in Carolina. I think my nephew and I are going to try to go to that game. My nephew's a huge Carolina Panthers fan and he grew up here in Ohio, but man, he loves his Panthers. So that's why I Panthers are another team that I like. The concept, the concept of picking a favorite team blows my mind.
Speaker: Well, I, you know, I honestly, he's been a Panthers fan since he was a little kid. Uh, so he didn't jump on any bandwagon or anything like that. He was just a little kid and he jumped on and he likes them. That's his team and they're still his team to this day. And because of him, you know, when he was younger, him and I were, we're pretty close. He's still my buddy. I love that kid to death. Um, and, uh, he, uh, I wonder if I could get him to come in here actually, but, um,
Speaker: He, um, Chris is sending out friend requests. No, I'm not. I'm sending it out. I was just tagging people. So, um, him and I actually got to go to a Panthers Browns game up in Cleveland and believe it or not, I was actually open. The Panthers would have won that game because he was, he was young. He was, he was a kid that now he's like 35 now. Fuck. I don't know.
Speaker: He says the guy that's not even 48. He's like, so he's like, uh, five years younger than me. He was a little kid. No, he's, he's, he's like 22, 23, something like that. Oh yeah. He's a baby. Yeah. But, uh, he, but he was a kid when we went to that game and I was really hoping that
Speaker: that the Panthers would have won. I was rooting for the Browns, but I was hoping the Panthers would have won. And the whole game, we was watching the stats and up on the scoreboard. And it came down to a field goal. The Panthers had an opportunity to kick a field goal and tie the game or something like that. And then our quarterback in Cleveland was Jake Delholm, who we had just picked up from Carolina that year. So I was really hoping that the Panthers would have won for him. But the Browns wound up winning.
Speaker: but we still had fun in the game. My sister was there and his little brother was there. There's something about being at the game that makes it 10 times different. I don't really see myself watching TV and be like, oh yeah, go team, go sports. But if I'm at the game, oh, I'm into it. Well, football and hockey is a little bit different. You can watch football or hockey.
Speaker: on TV and get into it. You know, baseball is a slow, boring game and it's tough to watch it on TV. Basketball, basketball, take it or leave it, it is what it is. Yeah, basketball bores the shit out of me. Yeah, but hockey and football you can get into on TV because it's fast paced, there's a lot of action. No, no, like I try to watch like
Speaker: one game of yours, like the Super Bowl. Plus, plus Jeff, I mean, something that works out in your favor. If you, if you decide to start watching football, I mean, there's lots of dudes in tight pants and we all know how much you enjoy guys in tight pants. I might have to check that out. Yeah, I know you just got into it this year. Cameron jumping on the bandwagon for the Carolina hurricanes. Calm your tits. Calm down on chief.
Speaker: Yeah, apparently I've said it like four times I've just noticed that I'm gonna do a t -shirt with an Indian head. All of this is called down chief But
Speaker: So, hey, as we all know, I'm a huge, I'm a huge sports guy. And if I can, if I can find the right one or two people, there might be a secondary podcast that comes out this football season. Well, it call comes out for me. I was never really, my parents, my dad was not a sports guy. Yeah. I mean, I ever told you to calm down. Bill dances.
Speaker: Bill who? Bill Dance. Who the fuck is Bill Dance? Exactly. He actually had a TV show on the sports TV or something. It was like an outdoor channel. Yeah, it was a TV show on an outdoor channel. Well, it was literally going... He would go fishing and talk fishing.
Speaker: the entire fucking show. And my dad was watching shit religiously. And I'm not. I was never like, oh, let's go fishing. I'm not that guy. But like Bill Dance always wear a Tennessee hat. My dad's not knowing my dad, not knowing what he stood for on his head.
Speaker: bought the hat because Bill Dantz always wore it. You know, some of us are Tennessee fan. I like Tennessee because of her. I mean, I don't have nothing against Tennessee. I want to give them anything against any team because once again, I don't care. That's exactly what I said, Cameron. Cam said that you need to need to make a merch shirt. She's called out. She's got a little bit of a delay. He's on Facebook.
Speaker: I'm on my sixth beer. How much do we drink that night? Pops? Jesus Christ. Someone. What the hell? A shit ton. A shit ton because I was literally waiting to pop up a video saying that literally just you and pops passed out and the video is still going live. I don't know, man. I know he was putting them down. I was putting them down. You know,
Speaker: even Joe, even Joe, I think Joe had one or two beers. If you download, uh, it's not lagging. It's just a delay. Um, if you, if you download apps, TV and you follow nonsensical nonsense, then you can, cause that's where, that's where we actually go live from is have Stevie. Uh, but you can multicast. So we send it out to Twitter and, uh, and, uh,
Speaker: Facebook YouTube Facebook and everything. It's all like six or seven different YouTube channel or YouTube pages You're doing more than half a bottle. It's not on six or seven different YouTube channels. It's on. Yeah No, no on mine alone. It's on my home page and three of my fan pages Here's our KTM productions son Facebook or YouTube?
Speaker: Facebook. Oh, yeah, Facebook. I share it out to like 14 different pages. Yeah, yeah, yeah, then I put it out on my page. It's simultaneously cast to like three or four pages on my page. What is it? What is it casted? How? What did you say? It's what casted? It's simultaneously. Well, yeah, words are hard when you're drinking. It's simultaneously
Speaker: yes to my move katie cam productions inside the game emulated yeah it's katie cam are you there katie cam customs youtube support group and my home page that's for right there that's the german ford see that no you thank gwent entertainer for that one
Speaker: I don't know. Babies. Oh, wait. Sorry. If you get that reference, follow us. Right, Cameron. You caught that too. Gotta spend money to make money, Jeffy. Yeah. You know, I think I could've swore you drank more than half a bottle that night. Well, grab me a twelve pack and come over here and drink the other half. Fucking A.
Speaker: Sorry, I was distracted by
Speaker: They're still on my phone. Oh my gosh. You know, she lives something something that I that popped in my head the other day. No, we did not pass out. We definitely do not pass out. I passed on after you guys left. Yeah. Oh no. Yeah. I know it's not something that I can't come over because I've been ranking and all my business over here.
Speaker: get on that **** can't am Scott. Get the **** over here. What the **** I had to apologize for my I had to apologize to my parents when they came over here because I was like I was I was I was dude. I was I was like a crack. Well, no, I didn't apologize for being open the door going what the **** you want some of this? I don't know. I didn't even have the door open when I was talking **** I was talking **** through the door because I'm tall enough that I can look up. I've got like a window in the top of my
Speaker: So I'm tall enough that I can look right out. I was looking out the door and I was pulling the old school stone cold Steve Austin and I was just like bobbing my head back and forth and be like, you come over here to my house and you want to talk about Bojic? Behind, I was going to do that.
Speaker: I got to stand on a stool to do the same thing. Then I opened my door and I was like, Hey, what's up, guys? How you doing? Hey, Pops, love you. Hey, mom, what's up? Dad, dad. What the fuck is up with the pool tonight? Jesus. Pop said he didn't remember even going home that night.
Speaker: I was, that was one of my questions, like who crashed out where? I remember you guys leaving and I don't know what time you guys left, but all I know is that I woke up in the shower. Welcome to functioning alcoholics anonymous.
Speaker: Yeah, so I'm watching you on YouTube too and the yeah, the delay is horrible on the delay is terrible on YouTube. It is literally a good half of Cameron Cameron just download the HAPS H A P D S S it's free Download it Set you up in the account and then follow us. It takes literally all of five minutes. I
Speaker: What do you want him about? Pretty girl. I was with pops. I mean, pops, pops are not man. Pops and I will we'll throw down. Pops and I will get like I got from that night.
Speaker: I was watching it and I was like, Jesus Christ, I'm drunk. Yeah. Pop said I will. Pop said I will get fucking wrecked, man. We don't even give a damn. We just get fucked up. Oh, I love drinking with my old man. I would love to actually sit around and have my dad and my brother came down. I want to say 12 years or 12, 13 years ago, something like that. And my dad, we I took them to a a park.
Speaker: and I call it a park in the loosest terms, it's literally just a area that is considered a park because it's got, it's a natural water park, as in it's got a natural lazy river, it's called Shaha. And the best thing about Shaha, well, no, it's literally just an area that they've like, they bought and they said, this is a park now.
Speaker: And it's called shell hot. And the best thing about shell hot is it's all you can eat and all you can drink. Nice. Yeah. Let's go to, let's go to shell, shell, shell hot. My brother who was, I think my brother was 18, 19 at the time. And my dad nice, this was many moons ago.
Speaker: No, this is my younger brother. The younger brother that I actually got some of the girls at the Career Center to, when his class, I don't know if you remember, they had a group of kids from different schools to come in and tour the Career Center when we were there.
Speaker: And I saw my brother there and some of the girls I sat with at lunch, I was like, Hey, do me a favor, go over there and give my brother a kiss on the side of the cheek. And he was King Dick for the day. So, but how much younger is your brother than you? Uh, I want to say five years, five, six years. Why the hell was your brother at the career center? Maybe not that far. Well, it was our senior year.
Speaker: So maybe what water are you finishing up pops? I said that I said a JPPS but anyways My brother my brother came down and the girl he was dating at the time that did not become his wife said who knew me and
Speaker: from before I moved down there. She told my brother, don't drink down there with your brother because he'll get you in trouble. So he didn't because he's a pussy. Well, my dad, your brother, a pussy when you know you're a pussy, too. Well, my dad and I sat at the bar three and a half hours side note and drank and drank. Yeah, go ahead. I just go ahead and send this out to all of my baseball fans.
Speaker: Let's go reds suck it Cardinals But On a nine -hour trip my dad and I sat for like four or five hours just drinking beer at the bar Nice close the door first and Really my brother my brother stone cold sober and
Speaker: Decided he wanted to do the lazy river. Well on the lazy river. They have a cliff jump You can see where the story is going Did your old man jump off the cliff? No, I did. Drunk as a fucking skunk. It would have been so much better if your old man jumped off the cliff. My old man would not do the cliff jump because my old man's got black problems.
Speaker: He's got black problems. Back. He said black. He said, yes. And there's another. I'm talking, folks. That's another Freudian. My dad's got black problems. He's apparently black. But Jeff's dad has black problems. Jeff accidentally on purpose clicked on gay porn. And yeah, a lot of Freudians. You should drink more often. Yeah, you should drink more often. Get your blood back next week.
Speaker: But, uh, so my, my brother and I, my brother says, I want to do the lazy river. And I was like, all right, but if we're going to do it, we're going to jump off a fucking cliff first. Apparently. Cause I don't remember any of this. Um, they have a, they have an area called hammock Island, where there's literally 350 hammocks that you can just kind of lay out. And so my dad was like, I'm going to go over the hammocks, which means he was hammered. So he went over to the hammocks.
Speaker: And the last thing I remember was waking up with a beer in my hand on an inner tube on Lazy River. In the next morning I had a I had a bruise on the side of my on my side that was literally from like my armpit down to my hip because apparently I could not just jump off the the cliff. I was like
Speaker: You fell off the cliff. And we're talking, we're not talking like a five, six foot jump. We're talking about 25, 30 foot jump into the water. And I'm like, I got this. You know what the greatest part about me posting this podcast is going to be in the description? Oh, I'm sure. Is A, I get to post that Jeff got drunk.
Speaker: and be if I can figure out how to spell Freudian. I get to I get to I get to add enjoy Jeff's Freudian slips. Yeah, you'll have to Google that one because I couldn't spell it either. Either pops, either pops got in trouble for being on here or I'm about to get on his way.
Speaker: Apartment is cleaner than it was last time. I promise you that My house is fucking immaculate dude. I fucking I as stated before we went live We were talking and this morning. I woke up really I don't know what she's really in me about I don't know what it did might have been the Cardinals comment. She's a Cardinals fan I'm a redsman there in the vision rivals
Speaker: I can't wait to get married and start living together. Summer is a baseball fan and she loves her Cardinals, which blows my mind because being down South, I thought she would have been a Braves fan.
Speaker: but she's a Cardinals fan because the Cardinals had spring training down there in that area. She's a Cardinals fan. She's like, I just like the bird. No, no, she's no, she, she knows baseball. Like she, she's, she's, she's a baseball fan. She, she, she knows baseball and she's a cardinals fan, which I mean, I guess isn't the worst thing in the world. I mean, she could have been worse than she could have been a Pittsburgh Irish fan. I was going to say, are you a Yankees fan or a Yankees fan?
Speaker: but she's a **** Cardinals fan and the Cardinals and the Reds are in division are in division rivals and and this year the Reds have been absolutely spanking the Cardinals man.
Speaker: So it's already been said that when she does move up here, we are definitely going to have to go down to Cincy and and catch some Cincy Cardinals or Reds Cardinals games. So I think that's awesome. I mean, it's that's that's fun for us. It's not a bad thing. It's just fun. It's a good thing that you can talk shit to each other like. Yeah, my wife and I totally agree like we don't even we.
Speaker: The biggest thing down in Mexico is fucking soccer. Oh, gross. Oh, I would rather eat. You know, he's grounded. I despise it out of all the sports that I don't watch. I watched the least amount of soccer because I don't understand the game. Number one, number two. How is it that the
Speaker: It's a very basic simple game not even not even remotely in my will yeah, yeah, it's a very basic and simple game you you have guys and a they kick the ball and
Speaker: back and forth on the field and they're trying to get into it. It's basically it's basically hockey on grass, but hockey is way for the fact. Well, no, the problem I have with soccer is it's a problem I have with all sports is I sit there and I'll watch the clock to count down. So I'm like, what's this over? And I'm soccer.
Speaker: They don't count down. They count up. What the **** is with that ****? What is it? Mark said, Mark said, why are you, why are you busting my balls about American football? Mark said, imagine a country calling their home sport football
Speaker: but use their hands. I risk my case. Mark said, Mark said, come at me. I'm ready for today. Okay. First of all, in your silly ass, little Nancy ass country drinking your piss warm tea with no sugar and you put milk in it.
Speaker: it's called
Speaker: Exactly. Don't come at me with your English bullshit, Mark, because you know that. I swear to God, I will slap you like the Revolutionary War bitch that you are. You guys must be. I was trying to come in early. There we go, Cameron. I got you on that. Now I'm caught up there.
Speaker: Don't play your bullshit games with me. Keep your Biden attitude. There's no Biden attitude on either one of us. Don't play your fucking games. Oh, look a gun. You guys don't even have guns in your country.
Speaker: Hence the reason we had to save you not once but twice from the Germans Hence the reason you guys got bitch slapped all the way back to your country by a bunch of farmers March from marks from fucking Leads yes
Speaker: Mark's from Liverpool and his favorite soccer team is Leeds. Yeah, you go. However, if I was a soccer fan, I would be a man you fan just because Vinnie Jones, Vinnie Jones is a fucking man. Vinnie Jones is the goddamn man. I love that dude. That dude is so badass. A little a little trivia about Vinnie Jones. He holds the record.
Speaker: of being kicked out of her damn. I, I, I, I, I, I did it. I did set Mark off.
Speaker: Oh, he said, he said, what the fuck did you just say? Lies have been crossed. Kevin. Yeah. He said Kevin and Holly. First of all, it's Kevin and Holly. All one person. What? You don't like the fact that I told you you're from Liverpool and you were a Leeds fan, you little bitch. Don't play games with me. You were not ready for me today. You thought she was ready. Vinny Jones holds the record, the world record for being kicked out of a fucking game.
Speaker: He stated that in an interview he stated that he figured out that he can be running He can start running out at a certain time and by the time the referee blows the whistle to start the game He can tackle the person with the ball So mark is completely 100 % off a team click now he said I like Jeff better heart you Jeff I
Speaker: the fifth
Speaker: who's only response was, we got 1000 followers. Hey, even I was telling you, we need to get to 1000. So we go live. Boom. Welcome to Mexico. Well, I'm pretty sure Jeff is hiding from the police for some.
Speaker: but but I have a new
Speaker: Yes, because I know I know where Jimmy Hoffa's body is. So I feel like in order for him to get away with whatever it was that he did in America to be running from the police, they were like, if you if you testify against Al Capone,
Speaker: And tell us what Billy Hoffa's body is. That is our reference to crime in America. Jimmy Hoffa and fucking Al Capone. And Jeff was like, I'll spill the beans. And I know where the fuck that body's buried. Now, Jeff is no longer Jeff. He's Hefei. And there you go.
Speaker: I, I am, uh, we were all talking shit. Everybody thought that justify your Trump 2024 thing. It's fine. I was just didn't want your question to be politically based. Oh yeah. You dad take back every, I take back everything. Glick. Will you take me back? Mark said, Oh yeah. Yes you did. Yes you did.
Speaker: The other day I dabbed. No, the other day you dabbed. That's what Mark said. I totally admit that I did. I wasn't really a dab because I didn't put my head down. It was a hundred percent a dab. It was a more of a Hulk Hogan. Oh yeah, brother. No, it wasn't. First of all, you said Hulk Hogan and then you did Macho Man Randy Savage. It was a full on
Speaker: It was a full -on 100%. You dabbed like you were some fucking Gen Z twat on fucking TikTok. LeBron James dabbed? Well, LeBron James is a jackass. Yeah, well, I totally agree with you there. I literally, my kid is like, you need to finish the movie. And I'm like, fuck that, I don't care.
Speaker: They watched it cuz I fell asleep. It was actually it was actually a good movie. I liked it I liked the fact that they tried that they did not make it a sequel. They made it they made it its own movie LeBron James is not a good actor, but he's not an actor And that's the thing that kills me. That's the thing that killed me all the projects are blacker Well, he's not an actor neither a shell. I really sure as bark neither was Michael Jordan
Speaker: neither was mugsie however the other guys however i will say i will say shack in grown -ups fucking hilarious well shack is drawn to general shack is hilarious in general so i would totally love to hang out with shack
Speaker: that I like I like the new space jam like new legacy. They did not try to make it a sequel. They tried to make it its own movie. Yes, they did make a couple of references about the original space jam. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, I got to I got to the point where Rick and Morty showed up. Which I thought they were hilarious. They had like a whole thing where they were like at halftime and they were down by a thousand points.
Speaker: and I think Porky Pig or whatever was like, was like, don't worry, guys. It's all good. I found the answer. And he was like, Michael Jordan. And then Daffy did the whole hailing from North Carolina at six, whatever he was. Michael Jordan, like they used to do for the Chicago Bulls entrances. And it was Michael B. Jordan who came out. It was actually Michael B. Jordan.
Speaker: which is the guy who plays Creed in the Creed movies. And like everybody stood up because I thought it was really Michael Jordan and LeBron stood out. He was like, holy shit, Michael Jordan's here. And then he was like, and then LeBron was like, that's Michael B. Jordan. But and then there was another reference where something was going on. And they're like, yeah, that was like 25 years ago.
Speaker: and it was a different. Yeah. So, you know, they made a couple references but they tried to make this movie its own movie. It was good for what it was. Cash enjoyed it. I didn't think it was horrible. You know, LeBron James is not an actor. So, I didn't expect him to be good. Like I said a couple weeks ago. Oh my god. He comes off as just **** an asshole in the first few minutes. Well, he's a kind of a poppist jerk but that's what that's that's what they wanted him to do. You know what I mean? Like that was where they were going with it. The thing that killed me
Speaker: because I love Don Cheadle. Yeah, they made Don Cheadle look like a fucking asshole. He was horrible in that movie. Yeah, I think Don Cheadle phoned that in. I'm pretty sure he was like, fuck it, I don't care. You're praying me how much? All right, I'll show it. Yeah, to a certain degree, yeah, I agree. Like I said, I made it to where Rick and Morty showed up dropping Taz off. And which I found hilarious because
Speaker: Because I love me some Rick and Morty, man. That show cracks me up. I don't give that show. The funny thing about Rick and Morty, it's a play on Doc and Marty from Back to the Future, which the original show was going to be.
Speaker: Levi, what's going on, man? I didn't even see you sneak in here. No, why would I be smoking a doink? You fucking stoner. My nephew just rolled in. We was talking about football and we were talking about the Panthers and Browns and made me made me think of you. So I tagged you. Fucking my nephews are a bunch of fucking stoners, man. I fucking just realized I'm out of beer. How did you just realize that you've been drinking water or whatever the fuck you're drinking? Tell one of your neighbors.
Speaker: I'm drinking soda now. One of your neighbors has beer. I just over a little bit. I'm sober a little bit. If I'm going to get my daddy time in. Yeah, exactly. Well, you don't work because you're learning. No, that was me making fun of you for being a little bitch. What's your dick don't work after you drink six beers? I don't matter about my dick as long as my tongue works.
Speaker: Yeah. Judging by the way you're fucking slurring and slobbering. I'll be all over it tonight. Your tongue seems to work just fine. I'm gonna send you a message halfway through. I don't think I'll be fine with my wife. Okay. Okay. Levi William. First of all. Listen here, Pahead. Listen here. First of all. Don't ever call me brother.
Speaker: I'm your uncle. Second of all, okay. I was, I was kind of, he's like, come on, man. You hitting that like a joint. I was, I'm not gonna lie. Panthers. And then he says Panthers are going to smoke the Browns when we play next year. I'll bet 50 on it right now. I'll put a hundred on it right now. Oh, recorded. A hundred, a hundred.
Speaker: on it. That the Browns slapped the dick taste out of Christian McCaffrey's vagina. I'm I'm I'm I get the profits. Come on. I gotta get something out of this shit. Bet. I'll put on 100 of this. Bet made.
Speaker: They got this season coming up. We were Browns and Panthers play until they make we still going down there for that game. We still going to try to go down. It's it's recorded. It's called me on Spotify. Mark the tape. Yeah, it's 13. Yeah. Yeah. Two minutes, two hours, 13 minutes. There you go. Two minutes and two minutes and 13 seconds. You're right, Jeff. We've got a whole nother hour and 58 minutes to go. There you go.
Speaker: the the
Speaker: You've never understood the reality of football. I did not play football in high school. I was the mascot for my high school team. No, you weren't. Yes, I was. We all know what you did here. We all know what you did here. It's fucking Jim. You just sniffed the jock straps. I mean, collected the jock straps.
Speaker: You and I actually have my yearbook to prove. Captain 90 degree angle dick in the showers together. The reason why, the reason why I was the mascot all came down to, there was a semi -pro quote unquote pro basketball, I don't know what the classification is, like quadruple A basketball team in Mansfield called the Mansfield Hawks.
Speaker: Mm -hmm, and I was the mascot for them Because my my cheerleading coach was one of the head cheerleaders And and I yeah exactly Jeff was a cheerleader Yeah, I fucking got my uniform down here somewhere my uniforms downstairs But I was the mascot for the Mansfield Hawks
Speaker: We'll talk fantasy football Yeah, cuz I don't understand a fucking love you man. Be careful out there tonight It sounds like a lot of work to do fantasy football though. Yeah, it's it's really not if you know what's going on my Once again for me sounds like shit about shit
Speaker: Kevin, Kevin wouldn't get in our fantasy league and last year was free. Guest list is back to 90. Holy crap. Pop sold you to drink another beer. Um, last year, Kevin Kevin. Yeah. Be careful, man. Love you buddy. Um,
Speaker: Kevin went and played, but his wife played and she don't know the first thing about football. And she did actually really well. She was the only one in our fantasy league that beat me last year, actually. She beat me in regular and regular season. That was nice. It was a little forced, but it was nice. I need a little bit more natural.
Speaker: But um, yes natural ones you missed because I was doing a potato piss Well, there's that Our our guest list for the wedding is back up to 90 Good lord, so we decided that our wedding um is going to be uh down in florida We're going to get married on beach. We're not going to get a venue or anything like that So basically
Speaker: everybody can just make a vacation out of it. They can get their own condo, their own Airbnb, their own hotel or whatever. And then I think after the ceremony and stuff, maybe the reception slash party ish at our condo. I'm not quite sure what's going on yet, but uh, we were, yeah. Well, she went from, she went for 45 to
Speaker: And I asked her, I asked her last night. She said she had eight in her cart and I commented, keep up, I got 11. Do you think we're getting, what, do you think we're getting remarried? Yeah. Well, you know, there is the hope in the air. I just wanted to, I just wanted to be a smart ass comment. So I was like, I got 11. She's like, I got eight.
Speaker: She found him cheap online You should just start commenting and all of her wedding wedding Facebook stuff. He was mine first I'll have Summer it's coming. I'm totally doing it. I'm like he was mine before he was yours. I was first I'm not allowed to see it. Yeah, I'm not allowed to see the dress. I don't want to see the dress I haven't seen it
Speaker: I haven't seen it yet. I have a summer summer if you're listening. Oh, picture. I want to see. He even called you summer. He didn't even call you Stevie. So he's being serious. So, you know, you know, you can keep a secret. You know, you can keep a secret. So no shit. Fucking a month and a half of fucking the engagement shit. And I'm like. This.
Speaker: But the funny thing is, shut up pops. We told me about the engagement. My wife, I, I of course spilled the beans at her cause she doesn't watch. But she says, she says, aren't they already together? I'm like, yeah, they're together, but they're not officially together. And she's like, we were officially together. We were together. We were a couple, but they weren't officially engaged. And then she says,
Speaker: She says, right. I said, well, you know, I was the first to know. And she's like, she's like, so you're the first person on Facebook to see it? I was like, no, he told me, damn it. You were legit the first person. I think my parents are like one of the last people to find out about it. Fuck you, Scott.
Speaker: I told you and then I told Angel and Bells who just got married today. I told them and then I think I told Pops and Joe after that. I didn't tell many people just because I didn't wanna tell too many people. My wife's first question was, how are they gonna do that? And I explained the fact that there's new locations popping up for the store.
Speaker: in Ohio. And she's like, Oh, yeah, she's uprooting everything for this motherfucker. Well, you know, the tongue game is good. It all comes. Well, that's that's the one thing that's kept my wife. I'll just stare at the camera for that.
Speaker: have you seen have you seen the I'm sure you've seen it the Anthony Mackey you make daddy a sandwich oh yeah on that on that tranny Wendy Wendy Williams show yeah that fucking cracks me up every time because I truly believe what he says 100 % but on top of that there's the other clip there's the other videos that are
Speaker: that uh women are posting saying if he eats the poon for him not only does he deserve a sandwich he deserves a sandwich on fresh baked bread and i've sent that clip to my wife like four times i'm like hey
Speaker: Well, I don't know. It's for you. I'm just I'm just going to put it out there. I do such a good job that I don't get sandwiches. I get steaks. So, amen to that. I'll just put that out there. I get up. I get to be a stay at home dad. What? What did I miss now? I mean, but you're also a bitch. I mean, you're basically the wife in the marriage, too. So, there's what the beauty of it is.
Speaker: And I'll probably get myself in trouble for saying it. I literally do almost nothing. So I don't ever want to hear you. I don't ever want to hear you piss about about being a stay -at -home dad ever again. I don't piss and moan about it. Yeah, you do. You've told me you don't know how hard it is to be a stay -at -home dad, dude. I'm like, yeah, I kind of do because I work full -time and I do all the... Being a stay -at -home dad,
Speaker: means not only all the laundry needs to be done, all the dishes need to be done, the food meals need to be cooked, the house needs to be cleaned, and the fucking crazy kids that I have have to be bathed, clothes, and all that shit. Okay, first of all, okay, wait a minute, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, timeout, timeout.
Speaker: I know you ain't coming up in here calling ain't nobody know how no way any way shape and or form calling somebody a bitch. You better you better you better backtrack and calm your ass down before I hurt your right. This is my I love you. I love you. No, I I love you, but I will hurt your feelings in a heartbeat and you know damn well I will.
Speaker: don't play no games, son. Chris is all you law on that. I am nobody bitch. I am summer's bitch. I'll be summer's bitch all day long. There's a little, there's a little, uh, Jet Li moment there. I'll be summer's bitch all day long, but you know what? I, uh, I work. I bust my ass. I work.
Speaker: Well, every week and I come home and right now, right now, I'm impressed. I am impressed every day that you not only work 40 hours a week, but you still have to answer every fucking thing I say on top of the fact that you mentioned the second wife, second wife. What are you talking about? I'm the first, I'm the first.
Speaker: Well, that's on summer summer. He just called you a bitch I'm the second. Well, I'm the first wife And in you know, I don't have a bitch to answer oh Okay. Okay, Kevin. Kevin. Kevin was Quoting what I said. I thought Cameron was calling me a bitch. I'll get very sad. Okay. He was calling you a bitch. Okay, that's fair enough He can call you a bitch
Speaker: Hey, you know what? I won't hurt his feelings. I don't care. But, uh, no, I, you know, I work, I bust my ass. I work out and I work outside and I do a hard labor job.
Speaker: And then I come home and when my kids are here, I still have to do all the dad duties, you know, and I'm kind of, my kids are a little bit older. So they, they take, for the most part, they take care of themselves. And my, my girls do cook, but I also, I don't get home until late. I don't want my kids to have to wait to eat dinner until nine o 'clock at night. So if I'm not getting home until six or seven, I make pancakes every fucking morning. Yeah. They'll, they'll cook. I make lunch. I take care of everything.
Speaker: because my kids are 10 and five so I digress but uh you know regular big terms you know well actually I don't know at least I used it right a frame no you did you did well well like I said like I said in this
Speaker: We we we have a group of friends Kevin and cam and Justin which is Cameron's older brother and Brandon And we'll roast absolutely absolute hell out of each other. We will go right for your fucking soul But if if anybody else tries to fucking come at one of us boy It should be as way it should be It's the balls of a friend
Speaker: But being able to bust the balls of someone that goes after a friend that's the true mark of friendship Don't don't do not come after our group because if you come after our group Mm -hmm. Yeah I lost track I lost track I
Speaker: Somebody pulled up on a scooter stand at the gate. Mm -hmm. That's your wife's boyfriend dropping her off. She it She's like, I found me a real my wife. My wife said something to me the other day and I Was extremely proud of myself. She says I'm falling in love with you all over again Yeah, that's precious
Speaker: well i did go down there for like twenty minutes for an for that moment well the kids ran in the rooms i'd have fuckin issues on some issues under her on the phone but maybe we don't know what it was only twenty minutes now twenty minutes early is the best for session
Speaker: That's barely time. That's that's barely an appetizer. You never noticed you never noticed that the first the first. Oh, Karen said that's a real man in a relationship dropping her off. And then he said she only told you that because she feels guilty.
Speaker: No, but oh, she was talking to her phone, not Jeff. Dumbass. I'm sorry. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, she was. The first will take a good 45 to. An hour and 20. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Yeah, the first the first for your wife. We'll take.
Speaker: a good 45 minutes to an hour and 20 minutes. Well, depending on what I'm doing. Hold on a second. Hey, hey, pretty girl. Well, I don't know. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
Speaker: how long does it take for you to get um how many O's could you have with me in 45 minutes to an hour? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you said you said the first one. Okay. Okay. Well, let me rephrase it. The first one takes the longest. How long does it take for you to get your first O when we're together? And some are also said you're doing something. You're not doing something right.
Speaker: Trust me. I'm doing something right because there is no there is there is no I have there is no Iable proof that I'm doing something right because we Yeah, go ahead no, no you keep trying to keep trying to defend yourself No, we were on a business trip and got Taxed so to speak for breaking a bed
Speaker: don't mean anything. You can break a bed all day long, but that don't mean anything. What's up court? I think I got this too. Here comes. Oh, here she comes. Uh oh. An hour. An hour and 20 minutes. An hour and 20 minutes. For the first. What? No, no, no.
Speaker: So the first O, it takes up to an hour and 20 minutes, correct? No. No. I wouldn't, I would easily say a good 30, 40 minutes for the first O. No. No, no, no, no, no. But I'm not sticking straight to eating. I'm sticking to every bit of everything. No, dude.
Speaker: go ahead you know I'm gonna put myself I'm gonna put myself on blast right here if it took an hour and 20 minutes for summer to get her first oh I would have been done and out of the game and watching her play with herself with her toys for at least 60 minutes of that probably 70 minutes no because once again I am all over the map I am
Speaker: What, are you in the bathroom fucking painting the wall? No, no, no, no. I'm not talking straight eating time. No, because even Chris, like Chris, that's not straight eating time. Like literally from foreplay to the time we finish. It's anywhere from about. Oh, oh. 10 and up. And 10 and up.
Speaker: Now, let's see. Finish is a different term. Finish is a different term because finish is a different system because when you think about it, finish is when I'm done. Because when I'm done, the game's over. It's done. I'm ready for an app.
Speaker: But it's just we're playing. There's at least eating that that can range anywhere from two to five walls. Yes. The big finish that can be anywhere from two to five again. Like it just depends on like my sexual drive at that point. Like, and right. It's bit. Well, it all comes down to.
Speaker: My wife is not the most, uh... Basically what she said is Glitz the man. Well, I'm trying to figure out how to phrase this, how to actually make it make sense. Um... She doesn't like having sex with you? That's why she was out with her boyfriend. No, no, no, no. Oddly enough, oddly enough, my wife wants to have sex more than I do.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm old so I'm like fuck oh No, my wife is the same way she's like you want sex tonight. I'm like fuck. It's like two o 'clock in the morning Let's go to bed. That's why she gave me a break on the last night of our vacation She was like, I'm gonna give you a break and I'm just gonna cut it with you
Speaker: My wife told me something today Was it today or yesterday I don't remember but she was having sex with one the landscaper who destroyed She she said she said something she What is your your
Speaker: Preference of finishing for Chris you want to in? My face more often and I was like wait what? But you said but you said what is your preference for Chris did Jeff? Where do you want where do you want him to finish in me? You'll see my wife said
Speaker: she said this yesterday morning yesterday morning i woke up and of course you know you got the morning hello so your wife asked you wait a minute so some are we to finish up her face
Speaker: No, wait a minute. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Because she said it's good for her skin. No, no, no, no, no. You said your wife asked you what your preference was for me to finish in you or on your face. I'm asking, I'm asking Summer. Oh, you were asking Summer. Yeah, I was asking Summer. Would you prefer a Chris finish on your face or inside you? In one of her orifices.
Speaker: Right, one of the orifices. And my wife said, I want you to finish on my face more often. And I said, why? Because I'm all about the finishing inside. I'm all about it. Pops, Summer. And she says, I want you to finish on my face. For the simple fact. Yeah, go ahead. Pops said, Summer, be careful. We're still here. Yeah, that's OK.
Speaker: Don't worry JoJo Jo Jo is here for the whole she she said I want you to finish my face more often because Because it's good for her skin Okay, it's good for your skin. It's good for your teeth. It's good for your hair. This is Exactly and I said well I Can deal because I've never been the kind of I've never been the dude like how we blast on your face I'm not that guy because I I find it
Speaker: somewhat rude i don't waste it i just want to just write down your throat yeah right exactly i gotta piss real quick but but that was a disgust but but but uh i'm all about the i'm gonna blast in your mouth or blasting in in in the holes or whatever but but she literally said i want you to finish on my face i was like what the fuck can't fucking rude i don't know jeff says that you just or cameron says you just don't hit it right
Speaker: He also uh. Right. Trust me. He also said you're about to get emotional. Glick, he's gone. He's basically said she's asked if you want to finish on my face. I mean, Go for the money shot, Jeff. Piss off your balcony. What the hell are you talking about, Pops? You tore a bed apart last time. I don't want to hear about that. No, I can talk. Summer and I can talk about our dirty escapades, but I don't want to hear about y 'all's dirty ass escapades. That's disgusting.
Speaker: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Speaker: I know. Trust me. I know. I was the guy. I was the guy who who who yelled at Joanne the last time they showed up here because dad took a drink out of the bottle and she was like, he's contaminated and I'm like, I'm pretty sure he's contaminated most of your holes at some point in the last 30 years. Well, I'm pretty I'm pretty sure he's in your mouth. I'm pretty sure my dad contaminated at least one of Joanne's holes when they were like sixteen on the tree in front of my grandparents front yard.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, go ahead It's a little weird like on occasion maybe on my face I don't want Chris to you know His kids on my face Sure that I've always I've always I've never been the guy to finish on the face or anywhere on I'm always in
Speaker: For the simple fact, because if I'm in the throes of it, I'm not slowing down. Because I'm like, fuck this, you know, it's a race and I'm winning. But. Well, see, and that's that's that's where you're wrong. Hey, baby. I just want to let you know that the Cardinals suck and the Reds smack that ass.
Speaker: That's a god damn lie. That was that was much like when I got out of the pigeon forage and you're like no segi time. I'm like summer summer. I'm gonna I'm gonna give you I'm gonna give you a a tip that my wife did to me this morning that was do not take don't take no tip. You'll need to take some tooth mint flavored toothpaste and then suck away.
Speaker: suck away because jesus christ it was terrible okay well first of all jeff my wife did that this morning and i was like what the fuck are you doing first of all jeff and anybody who happens happens to be listening to this summer doesn't need any enhancements once she turns on the fucking dicer and dyson vacuum cleaner
Speaker: Well, my wife is we both decided to take a shower this morning because, well, he probably saved time and knock one out. Yeah, exactly. Well, I probably needed it anyways. But she's over there. Hey, look at this. What the hell is wrong with you, pops? She literally comes over. She's got a mouthful toothpaste and starts dicing on me. And I was like, what the fuck is that?
Speaker: She's like, oh, I probably should have spit out the toothpaste. I was like, Jesus Christ. Why is your wife walking around with toothpaste in her mouth? Pops said, I'm not stopping. I'm just I'm not stopping. I just shot all over her face. What were you doing to her face? I've never been the one to shoot on the face because of the simple fact I always felt it was kind of rude. No, your dad said he's not going to stop just to shoot all over her face.
Speaker: He said I'm not stopping. No, he said I'm not stopping. Just shoot all over her face. Is what he said. He said he's not going to stop just a $2 on her face.
Speaker: Right cuz I'm with you on that because if we're in the throes of it and you're you know What are you fucking doing? Are you writing a goddamn Fabio novel? But If you're sucking down some
Speaker: punch, you're going to get all of it. I don't know where that went. What am I doing? No, but there's a kid. You got your earbuds in? No. Oh, Jesus. That's why. Go to bed, buddy. Night. Love you. Hi. What's up, Packa? Hey, buddy. There's my youngest son.
Speaker: There you go. The great conversation to bring him in on. Parker, Jordan, everything you've just heard!
Speaker: so anyways the Bible says in Psalms 24 5 says to love your neighbor like they are
Speaker: Why do you have your headphones in before having this conversation? I love this. As Jeff said earlier, Jesus Christ, I just realized my neighbors have some really nice asses. One of the neighbors walked by and she's wearing the shortest shorts on the history of the planet. And I was like, damn. Why are you checking out other females?
Speaker: Listen, you know what he told me earlier? He told me earlier, he was like I got rid of my Snapchat because I don't know how to behave. Yes, I stand by that 100 % because I can't behave. Dude, I got Snapchat, I got Instagram, I got Twitter, I got TikTok, I got Facebook, I've got all of it. And there is no temptation now.
Speaker: Yeah, that's first of all, that's because you know how to act and you're not an old damn pervert. I don't, that's the problem. I mean, I'm an old damn, I'm an old damn pervert, but I don't know because I'm a grown ass man and I'm not, I'm not about playing them bullshit ass games. I got me a little bit like the old guys in the nursing home for molesting the nurses, women and
Speaker: Jeff has been that old. Yeah. It's been that weird. I'm going to be that. No, Jeff is going to know. Jeff has been that weird old perverted guy in the nursing home that molest nurses since he was fucking 16 years old. Since I have known Jeff, Jeff has been that guy. Yes, I have. I will own that trophy all the day. This is why Jeff doesn't go out in public.
Speaker: Yes, I agree. This is why Jeff keeps his little happy ass at home because he can't be big. Pops, I'm not even allowed to get in the shower or summer because she knows I'm a list the fuck out of. Really? Oh, no, I'm terrible in the shower because no washing gets done washing. I'm like, you're naked. I'm making me in the shower together. We can wash and stuff. I'm just going to touch her. I just want to molest her. Yeah.
Speaker: No, I am all about the touching. He just wants to put the kids on summer bus. Summer, do you... When you sleep next to Chris, do you wear something to bed? She wears my dick to bed. Because my wife, my white wife will literally take off everything she's wearing and lie in bed and then expect me not to touch.
Speaker: I'm a lot lower than that. I'm constantly grabbing ass. So therefore I have to be cold.
Speaker: Well, and hence the reason - We had to lock the bedroom door at night because our kids were like, you know, a shadow crossed the room and I'm scared. Well, go away. Yeah. Well, I mean - Make it my mother. Hence the reason why, you know, I wear shorts to bed. You know, I wear my basketball shorts to bed because
Speaker: my kids because of their mom, especially the little one. It took me a minute. It took me a little. It took me a minute when we, when we split up to get him broke of coming and getting in bed and he still tries to like, he still will sneak into bed and sleep with his sisters all the time. You know, but, um,
Speaker: No, I don't do that. I mean, I know kids in the bedroom. No, I can't. I can't sleep. I cannot sleep unless I have at least shorts on. But it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if summer's clothes or not. I'm still going to touch stuff. Oh, no, don't get me wrong. I'm constantly touching my wife. But my wife can sleep in the complete nude and be happy as a pig and shit. But where I'm like, I got to at least have shorts on.
Speaker: Yeah. And my little packer is going to be like, what's up?
Speaker: regardless of anything. That's just constantly. My wife walks in the door. I'm like, how are you doing? She's like, really? I just walked in the door. I'm like, well, you've been gone all day and I've missed you. And so does he. Yeah, somewhere's told me somewhere's told me a few times. She's like, I didn't even do anything. I was like, I have no control over him. He does whatever he knows. He likes you. My wife likes you.
Speaker: my wife literally gets home and the first thing she did is take her work uniform off. And I'm constantly just sitting there going, yeah, take it off. And she's like, really? She's like really sweaty and muggy from the day. And I'm like, hey, I don't care. Actually, actually, you're naked. Actually, what she's saying is really, I haven't even gotten a shower to wash one off of me yet. And
Speaker: It's pretty much what she's saying. I still got, I still got Wands kids on me. Jeff's over here. He's like, I'm a good couple. I don't mind Wands. Wands kids. You want me to clean Wands kids up for you? King Clancy.
Speaker: It's cameras that look that up Cameron said your kids are actually the landscapers Pop said it pop said if I stop looking if if I stop looking Joe better check to see if I'm dead Because I can look as much as I want
Speaker: it's touching no i'm not talking about looking at her i think maybe oh no no same but you don't you don't just you just don't look though jeff that's the thing that's why that's why you say you know i can't have snapchat this time the other thing all right i missed that you glitched out did you even have on snapchat to even not be able to have like last time i heard yeah that was like
Speaker: And that's what he said earlier. He was like, I just got ready to Snapchat because I only had you and you and I talked about messenger. So I don't need to be on Snapchat. Only Snapchat close Snapchat. I hit a button. Stop touching everything. Oh, God. Oh, there's there's Jeff's. All right. My back. No, you're not. We're still looking at the building behind you.
Speaker: Yeah. Well, no, it might, my camera freezes up when we have more than one paper on here and it, and I went, yeah, just blame it on me. Thanks Jeff. Okay. So yeah. No, no, no, I'm not blaming anybody. No, now I know that I'm not, I'm not welcome here. It's fine. You do haps on the phone. It's totally different from doing haps on the computer. Pops was saying that he stops looking at other females.
Speaker: So, okay, my bad. I was actually trying to stick up for him and make him sound like a nice guy, but apparently he's a fucking dirtbag like Jeff, so. Yeah. The only woman from the same cloth. The only woman Summer ever has to worry about is, is, is Reba. And she knows that. Well, the only man that you ever have to worry about is a lot. Yeah, I know. I was actually getting ready to say that exact same thing. So get out of my head.
Speaker: The only woman my wife has to worry about is Christina Ricci because whoa the things I would do that You was just checking out your neighbor. That's a lie. Jeff because you just said I'm not gonna go run after my neighbor. I'm like, hey, what's up? But Jeff you Jeff you literally just said I can't have snapchat because I don't know how to behave and in all honesty And in all honesty right now right here and now I free with McIntyre knocked on my door I'd be like, maybe I love you, but he was at my door and she was fuck
Speaker: Any other woman could show up here and I'd be like, no, I ain't got no time for you. Get the fuck out of here. You know, bitch. And then I would just pass along and do back his reign. It all comes down to, I mean, if any woman walked up to my door right now, I'd be like, hey, go away. Shoo, shoo, shoo. Meanwhile, reaching walks in, I'm sending my wife measures, hey, I'm going to fuck right now. Yeah. Meanwhile, if Dr. McSteamy, if
Speaker: There's a whole list. There's a whole list. There's a whole list. If Kevin Costner, well, I would probably fight her for Kevin Costner. Let's not go down that road because you know you're going to fuck Kevin before she is. I'd be like first and foremost, either we could have a threesome or one of us is about to die.
Speaker: But she's got a whole list, like she's got all these dudes, like all these actors and stuff that she's like, yeah, sorry, I love you, but deuces. Now, somebody put on Facebook, put in your shirt. OK, OK, OK. Well, there's two. If it was Reba or Ryan Reynolds, then those are my passes.
Speaker: You're like, I don't need your passes on your door summer you're not gonna be like hey, what's up? How you doing? No
Speaker: That motherfucker knocks on my door. I'm gonna call my wife like, hey, I'm about to fuck. Yeah, but doctor, that is a good looking man. If Dr. McSteamy knocked on your door, you'd be like, deuces. Glick. Well, fuck. Glick who?
Speaker: I get a package. I'd get a package in the mail three days later with the ring in it. Sorry. That's the difference between men and women. Like the biggest difference. Like I can look all day long and say like, Oh, he's sexy, but would I ever act on it? Even if they did come up to my door dog and no, I wouldn't. Okay. But I could look all day long too, but
Speaker: I mean, like I said, I'm not ashamed of the fact you can be, you can hate me all day long, but I love reading the McIntyre. So don't judge me. Since I was, I'll just go ahead and package the ring up and go ahead and send it back to you. I don't have a shot. I don't have a snowball's chance in hell. I just, I've had the biggest crush. She is my biggest celebrity crush. And I've had a crush on her since I was the boy's age.
Speaker: And that's it. That's the only person I kid about Ryan Reynolds. In all honesty, if Ryan Reynolds is like, hey, what the fuck? I'd be like, how about you got with you, Ryan? Exactly. You got 18. Shit, we can rock this out. No, I think I think if it comes down to it, I would have a really hard time saying no to Christina Ricci because a her and I were born in same year.
Speaker: B, I've had a crush on her. She's actually your age. Yes. But on top of that. She's not 12. She's dropped off the, she's lost all chubbiness. And I miss the chubbiness of her, her when she was chubby.
Speaker: Really I can hear you because I don't go to a restaurant and say hey, give me a bone. I ask steak Well, I know I expect you have to keep talking. I go to take a piss. Yeah Chicken You can like mute your mic or something exactly No, I can't fire hose Jesus Christ
Speaker: How crispy is that chicken over there? Boy, I got that strong scream, man. Why do you think summer? Strong scream, yes. Why do you think summer's got to be a Dyson? That's true. Cameron said his old lady crushes Leanne Womack. Bark thinks I'm digging. Really? Yeah. You are digging. I'm not digging. I'm not digging, you know.
Speaker: I'm literally trying to picture Leon Womack right now going, Oh, okay. I can see that. Well, Mac would go up the cat Cameron and be like, pass marks that I'm cruising for a Southern bruising and I wish she, she can spank my bottom summer, can spank my bottom. I don't care.
Speaker: I've been I've been a bad boy. Yeah. She's like, come here, big buddy. Yeah. Thanks, guys. She says that. Yeah. Black Kevin Costner said the same thing to her. She'd be like, all right. How you doing? Who's your who's your mama?
Speaker: take that how dare you make water world you bad bad boy you filthy oh my god that movie's so bad holy shit that's a terrible movie and that's me not even me what the hell is that one guys name that narrows it down yeah right which one what's he from the one that uh back plays in bad manner
Speaker: Billy Bob Thornton? Yes. I think he's real. Yes. What? Man, I don't even like doing it.
Speaker: I don't even like Billy Bob Thornton. Boy, that man did some dirty ass things that Halle Berry and monster. Yes, he did summer summers. Like I got to leave just about redeeming factors. That dude got a pound on fucking Halle Berry. Joanne message me. She's like, do you like the actor that plays Thor? Oh, Chris Helmsworth. Yes. He's a good looking man. He ain't no Paul Rudd, but he's all right.
Speaker: Really? Paul Rudd. Look, look, look, if anybody, if anybody, as, as far as a male actor goes, if anybody could compete for my heart against Ryan Reynolds, it's Paul Rudd. I can see that because, because Paul Rudd could make you laugh at the end of the day. Well, Ryan Reynolds could make me laugh at the end of the day. Oh, Ryan Reynolds fucking tickles my funny bone. And I'm sure he tickles your butthole too, but
Speaker: Oh, you say you wouldn't let him. What do you mean? You thought I had class pops. Apparently, apparently Joe likes Chris Helmsworth. She likes him. She likes her little Thor action. And with that long hair.
Speaker: The problem I have with the Hemsworth boys in general actually keep doing that we might get more viewers
Speaker: I guarantee you there's a lot of hype there. Why would you think that summer has class? She's about to marry me pops. What the hell? That's kind of like a demotion
Speaker: First of all, fuck you, Jeff. You were my first.
Speaker: I'm trying to think of a Marvel actor that I would rock out with. Chris Pratt. Really? Yes.
Speaker: I feel like Chris Pratt and I are pretty much the same people, so we can hang out and drink Budweisers together and make the same stupid jokes. I think Pratt would be somebody you definitely have a beer with, but he's not going to be like, I'm going to snuggle with his motherfucker later.
Speaker: Or RDJ. RDJ could get it. RDJ is a good looking dude.
Speaker: your dealer. What? Yeah. Mark said somewhere you said blunts only what happened. Plus, plus, plus Chris Pratt. Chris Pratt got famous and became a quote unquote sex symbol when he was fat on what was that parks parks and rec parks and recreation. Yeah, he was hot. He was hot. Then he's hot now. I know that's what I'm saying. If fat Chris Pratt and I were to hang out, we would basically be the same person.
Speaker: Yeah. Okay. Alright, Chris Pratt. Somebody just challenged Josh down. Hashtag. Hashtag Ted Chris Pratt. Hey, if you get fat again, you're like my fiance about to bang the **** out of you.
Speaker: He's like, I'm never going to be fat again. The summer chicks, she's pretty hot. I don't get down on that, but I don't know. I got to run away. I'm going to go hit the fucking gym. I think I need another drink now. You know, pops has to be eight. He's not allowed to leave the house. Summer, what's your, what's your thoughts on the rock? He's a dude.
Speaker: Yes, I totally agree. What'd you say, baby? I think with Vin Diesel. Oh, Vin Diesel. That is the worst actor on the planet. I'm not a fighter, but I'm pretty sure I can whoop the Vin Diesel ass. You know what, Jeff? I'd like you. I'll jump on board. I will support that. And not only will I support that, but if Vin Diesel happened to get the upper hand on you, I would jump in and beat the brakes off of that retarded monkey.
Speaker: You know I got one for you the actor of actors Keanu Reeves Thought you think you get you think you can fight Keanu Reeves. Oh, no Keanu Reeves what my fucking ass. I have no doubt What that's gross? So Keanu Reeves knocks on your door you're not gonna pound on him I totally want to hang out with the dude
Speaker: I would literally just like tell me John Wick stories. Well, yeah, as we said the other night, as we said the other night, we're both pretty sure that.
Speaker: John Wick is a is not a reality show. Yeah, it's it's not. It's it's actually Keanu Reeves. They just changed the name to make it into a show. Make a movie. Joanne said Vin Diesel is cute. I don't agree. I don't agree with the shaved head and the muscles. I think he's a good person. Joanne also married Pops. She has horrible taste. I was going to say yeah.
Speaker: Hey pops, if you need a drink, come over here. What do you mean? I got I got the good good. She basically basically just called you a hideous fucking child. He's not and he knows it. Well, see, that's a great thing. I still maintain. I still maintain. My wife needs classes. OK, first of all, so he brought this up. Draw. Yeah, Gerard Butler Butler. That was I think.
Speaker: I think this was the guy I was talking about. Well, Gerard Butler, and there's another guy that looks similar to Gerard Butler. They're basically the same fucking dude. So he is a handsome man, but it's the accent that gives me. Yeah, but here's the thing. Here's the thing that I think, and Summer, tell me if I'm wrong or not. Here's the thing with Gerard Butler that I think drives women absolutely fucking insane because he got his start.
Speaker: like he first started making a name for himself in rom -coms. And then he started doing action movies and women lost their fucking mind because they're like, he's sweet, he's sensitive. And he's funny and he can take on an army of 10 ,000 men by himself and win.
Speaker: Well, a perfect example of that is Mr. Chan of Tatum. No, that's gross. Oh, Chan of Tatum is such a douche could do. What did you say to me about Gerard Butler? It's his accent, and that's what it is. It's his accent. Does he have an accent? Yeah. Well, he's Australian, isn't he? Or is he British? I don't think he, I don't know if he's Australian or Scottish. It's one of the two. Gerard Butler doesn't have an accent. Yes, he does. Yes, he does. You're talking, you're thinking about the other guy.
Speaker: I'm thinking of the other guy. What other guy? It looks just like Gerard Brothers. It's Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Hold on a second. Jeffrey Dean Morgan and and and and and Gerard Butler look very similar. No, they do not. No, they don't. No, wait a minute. No, wait a minute. Shut up, Jeff. Yeah, no, no, no. Shut up. Jeffrey. I'm going to hear if he has an accent. Go ahead.
Speaker: I don't need your stupid ass ass. Does he really have an accent? Yeah, he's... He's got an accent like, uh... What's his name? He's got an accent. He does!
Speaker: It's very it's very it's very mild like What's his name from Wolverine? What's his uh? Fuck you Jackman. Yeah Jeffrey Dean Morgan he does not I
Speaker: Oh, no, he doesn't. That's fucking that's whom I think. How do you feel about Jeffrey Dean Morgan, baby?
Speaker: Chris is like, ooh, hello. I watched him before The Walking Dead. The Walking Dead is what put that dude on my map. I was like, yeah. Supernatural. Yeah, supernatural. Delicious looking. When I was introduced to him was on supernatural when he was Sam and Dean's dad and I'm a Dean girl. I like Dean. And then I see their dad and I was like, short hair, long hair.
Speaker: Short hair. Okay, the dude that actually is totally into it. And the other one's not. No, they're both totally into it. In the beginning, in the beginning, I mean, I've only seen like three episodes, but in the beginning, the short haired guy is like, oh, we're into this. And the other is kind of hesitant.
Speaker: You're talking about, like, being into it, like, doing the whole - doing the whole - Yeah, and killing monsters and stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now that's where - that was - that was - who's hot? Jensen Ackles. Uh, Johnny Depp. Johnny - Johnny Deposit. Johnny Deposit. Johnny Depp, I would totally - once again, I am not a fighter, but I would whoop the shit out of Johnny Depp.
Speaker: First of all, if you ever if you ever lay a hand on Captain Captain Jack Sparrow, I will murder you, Jeff. No, I'm just saying if it came down to a street fight, I would whoop the shit out of that dude. No, you wouldn't. No, you wouldn't. Because I would give him a baseball bat. No, you wouldn't.
Speaker: Dude, Johnny Depp would beat the brakes off of you, man. Did you see that transcendent movie that he did where he becomes a shooter or some shit? Did you see? Did you see? What was that goddamn musical with Tim Burton musical where he was? Yeah. I remember the name of that movie. He would. Well, I'm sorry. It's a very famous play. Are you fucking kidding me? What's my game? I know.
Speaker: This is my first ex -wife because he's so quick to turn on me Honestly, I had to think about it for a second. I was like what is summer's last name. Oh, yeah Oh such a good movie
Speaker: Is in any movie the man is in Alan fucking Rickman is the best male actor ever Greatest greatest greatest role Alan Rickman ever played in summer will disagree with this but because you and I are at the same age Alan Rickman yes
Speaker: Okay, we're listening, man. Jeff, shut up. Okay, listen. Yeah, go ahead. Jeff, touch your mouth for five minutes, okay? It's story time. It's my time on the show. I'll try. I'll try. I'll try. This is no longer nonsensical nonsense. This is the summer team. It's summer time. This is story time with summer, okay? I'm gonna go fry chicken. I'm about to fry some chicken. Jesus Christ. So, like three cokes later, Jesus. Like, you know I was over at my cousin's house earlier, right?
Speaker: the greatest christmas movie of all time
Speaker: So she was telling me like her and her husband have just been through a lot of stuff over like the past like decades. They're swears? No, no, no, no, no. I don't even know. I've never met her or seen her cousin.
Speaker: go ahead. We was talking and like she would tell me he's going through like a midlife crisis and when they is down in Florida like he's like yeah hey I'm gonna go dye my hair and she's like okay like and like her kids are like okay and then like her daughter -in -law was like really only gay men do that
Speaker: So he goes and gets his hair dyed, and she's like, what is the guy on that TV show that got arrested about the tiger? I was like, are you talking about Tiger King? She's like, yes. She's like, the hair color was exactly like that. I was like, you have to be kidding me. She's like, and he thought it looked so good.
Speaker: Like for this huge massive company, he's out in Texas. So in their shirts, oh, don't let me forget that he got his beard black, like mustache black, just like Tiger King, but he got it black. So like their uniform. I could talk, cut Tiger King for days. But their uniform is like a bright purple shirt.
Speaker: and then he's got that orange hair and then it's spocked up like tiger king like the mullet part of it that's in the front and then he's got this black beard the business in the front so her being petty like she is which i'm beyond proud of her for this she has her yeah runs in the family it's a family trait it's like my dick i don't know what you want me to say did you say like your dick
Speaker: I said suck my dick. That's what I heard too. Yeah. I was going to say. We need to talk brother. I was about to be real confused because I was about to say man, she's hiding that dick really good or it's smaller than mine because I've been down there a lot and there is no dick down there to be found. For hours and hours. Yes.
Speaker: But because she's so super petty and I just adore this aspect of her, she took the picture and went through it and made it as his profile picture. So within a span of like five minutes, he had like over a hundred comments on this picture like, dude, like you look super fucking gay. And they were literally going off on him, making fun of him so hard. And currently right now I'm waiting on that picture to share with you.
Speaker: I want to see that picture. So wait a minute. You said she shared the picture. Yeah. She has, um, she, she has his Facebook information. Yeah. She made it as his profile picture. They don't share Facebook. She just has all of his information. Yes.
Speaker: I was like, that is golden. I need your Facebook information, by the way. No, you really don't. But here's the thing, any embarrassing pictures or anything like that. OK, first and foremost, if you ever get the wild hair idea to share any of any embarrassing pictures or anything of me, I have videos.
Speaker: that I will post and then I recognize you want to see this picture or videos or I will make I will create a only fans and make a sizable profit and then we can get married wherever you want. It doesn't matter. You get married on that fucking Star Wars house. We're not getting married on the Star Wars. We're not getting married on the fucking Star Wars house, Jeff.
Speaker: Yes, you are. Are you paying fucking for it? If I become a billionaire by the time you guys get married, fuck yeah. Well, there's a good chance you may. We still got two more years. Yeah, exactly. That's the whole concept. I actually was thinking about this the other day. I said if I became a billionaire tomorrow,
Speaker: I would literally give you guys 10 million dollars just to get married to that fucking Star Wars house. They're like, do it. Cameron said that your wife can pay for it. Nice. He jumps up, bitch. Well, no, like now we have decided to take an ultimate route to our wedding because it was stressing me the hell out. Yeah, what happened to Tennessee? What the fuck? Well, I mean, I mean, maybe.
Speaker: Maybe if you were in here earlier, rather than chatting with your boyfriend Stan, who has yet to come in, you would have known that we already talked, we'd already covered this conversation. We already brought some stuff with you. Well, why the fuck did Jeff just ask what happened to Tennessee? Oh, it's because states drank a beer and a half tonight. Why did it change? Yeah, I drank six beers. Why the change from Tennessee to Florida? Because it was going to be for
Speaker: lodging, the venue, catering, DJ, photographer, not including the wedding outfits, the cake, everything else. It was gonna run us roughly like a thousand dollars. Woman, I got a camera. You come down to Cancun and save a shit ton of money right there. Oh, Lord, no. Well, that's what I told her about in the DJ. I was like, shit, I got a playlist for days. I was gonna say, yeah, I got a fucking playlist on my phone that'll kill anything. Fuck it. Okay. So you take out the DJ. That's two stones right there. That's still $11 ,000.
Speaker: It was going to be, here's the thing about Tennessee. And I was talking to this, I was talking to Pops and Joe yesterday about this. And Tennessee apparently, which blows my mind, and Tennessee, in order to be a bartender, you have to have a license.
Speaker: So when you have a wedding at a venue or whatever thing, you have to have a licensed bartender. Now, I got beer in the fridge. Yeah. Well, here's the thing. Like, if you have beer in the fridge, why aren't you drinking? I've been to a lot of places. I've been to a lot of places. I've been to a lot of bars and I know damn well. And, and as a bouncer for many years,
Speaker: They would literally in bars here in Ohio, they would literally just be like, oh, can you serve beers? All right. You're hired. Oh, can you mix and drink? You're hired. Exactly. That is Ohio. Can you put rum and coke together? There you go. You can serve Rockall. A majority of it is coming out of my pocket. About 85 % of it's coming out of my pocket and
Speaker: Well, okay, so no he's not because he's gonna be covering the house expenses I'm covering the what expenses house the house. Oh the guy who the guy who? Providing that home and the and this isn't that you baby the home and making sure the bills are paid and doing all that stuff Yeah, who's a bitch now Jeff?
Speaker: But to that point, Jeff, I was getting to the point to where I was so stressed out over all this stuff. And I said, you know what? Fuck it. I was like, we'll just go to the courthouse. And then we started on the destination wedding and we just decided Florida.
Speaker: Be a man. Be a man. Be a man. Be a man. Be a man. Be a man. Be a man. Be a man. Be a man. Be a man.
Speaker: No, okay. And surprisingly, and surprisingly, since we decided on going down to Florida and doing the wedding at the beach, which is about 75 % cheaper than what we, what, what someone was looking at in Tennessee, a lot more people have said that they are going to show up.
Speaker: Yeah, Bob was like, fuck yeah, I'll take a vacation. Which is essentially what it is. It's a vacation. You provide your hotel or your Airbnb or your condo and you come down, we'll do the ceremony on the beach. And then, like I said earlier, and I mean, some are not
Speaker: kind of vaguely talked about this. We can do the party slash reception or whatever at our place because not everybody that comes to our wedding is gonna be drinking. She has people in her family that don't drink. I think the only people in my family that will show up is gonna be my parents. And of course they drink.
Speaker: Well, but but but but Pops did tell Joanne that she's not allowed to drink until after this.
Speaker: Because he said he's like if you start puking you're on your own I So we have went from roughly like $12 ,000 for a wedding uh -huh to right at $3 ,000 for like that's not bad and then lodging and stuff is only gonna be what like I looked at the cheapest we would get out is like 1500 and
Speaker: Yeah, which is cheaper than what we paid for for lodging down in Pigeon Ford. Jeff, just so you know, Cameron said that Cash and Packa are more of a man than Jeff's bitch ass. Them dudes already be paying rent and shit. Cameron feels ways about you, man. He feels ways about you.
Speaker: That's okay. Which, I mean, says a lot coming from a guy who moved off of his girlfriend for like a year. I'm lying. Cameron, it's not up to Chris to send out the invites. It's up to me. There you go. Well, now has the bridezilla moment come up yet? Well, she didn't have a couple of bridezilla moments. She yelled at a couple of people.
Speaker: But now that we've decided that it's going to be in Florida, it's been so calm. I've only had... Yes, she's 100 % more relaxed.
Speaker: 90 90 % of the weight has been taken off your shoulders. Yeah. Yeah. She's just like, we're gonna be a very bang on the beach and I'm like, fuck yeah. Everybody.
Speaker: You better watch out girl. Sharks going to come up and sniff your bow. This dress ain't going to be like for very long. You're going to know what Jeff feels like because Jeff's been molested by a dolphin. You're going to get molested by a dolphin. Yes, you can join the club. Hacks and jackets are all the way. Not only that, like my sister has even said... That's his shirt.
Speaker: Show us where the dolphin touched you on a doll. I'm done. Yeah, that's definitely the shirt that you can hold on there, chief. We're going to we're going to be able to actually have a honeymoon because my sister is going to take our four kids to her right. And we have screenshots of it. So we're going to be able to hold her accountable for that. There you go.
Speaker: Mark said that's and that's why Glick and I think that we're going to see world again. Well, Mark.
Speaker: First of all, if anybody knew what happened in SeaWorld, when we went to SeaWorld until just now, so thanks for putting our business out there. Jesus, that was between me, you, and the fucking dolphins. And now everybody knows. I might even have seen them. Well, on that note, I'm going to get off of here. Come on, judges. That wasn't a listing. The wedding has been canceled due to Chris and humanity.
Speaker: That was my past, baby. Don't judge me. I don't judge you for, I'm not actually judging for a lot of things in your past. Don't worry about it, Cameron. I can tell, I can tell you that a blowhole is in the floor. They call a blowhole, but it's not what you think.
Speaker: This is this is a movie have you seen that movie wagons east Hey speaking of
Speaker: I'm going to blow holes and I can see. Um not that we've only said this once but uh if you're not already and we've made it this far, feel free to follow us on social media, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Tiktok, all under nonsensical nonsense and YouTube and uh if you like what you've heard so far, feel free to check us out on Instagram, Spotify, or wait, not Instagram, Spotify, Google Play, Apple Play,
Speaker: all under nonsensical nonsense and you can email us at nonsensical nonsense podcast at gmail .com boom drunk i can still take care of business when i'm drunk because my lips don't work biggest slide in history you guys speaking of you guys actually popped up on my phone i guess whenever the last time you posted the video edits was last night
Speaker: Yeah, like whenever you posted the last episode Popped up on my phone. There's like nonsense go nonsense and I'm like swap up. I'm done with this shit
Speaker: Fuck this iPhone. I can't have an iPhone. I can't have an Android. Summer's going to go buy a Blackberry tomorrow. Well, speaking of Apple, Apple podcast, since we have started talking about that we are on Apple podcast.
Speaker: Yes, I did. You pulled a stand. No, I don't. Actually, you pulled a stand. It's like a really bad, really fucked up dad joke. No, no, no, no, no. Stan used to, like, regliculous is a thing. Stan used to do things like that. But since we started talking about Apple Podcasts, we went from, like,
Speaker: according to the analytics there's another big word for you anal lick lick anal lick anal lick
Speaker: 0 .01 % of our listens on Apple to 12%. That's just me. I put it on whenever I'm pooping. Summer re -listed, know what to put down on the divorce papers. She's the episode 14, one hour, 25 minutes in.
Speaker: She's notating me. She's like episode 25. Three hours and 17 seconds in, Glick said he was going to go elbow deep into my butthole. Don't worry about it. Oh, speaking of which, we were talking about that today. And I don't even know what the hell. I can't remember what brought it up or what we were on the phone talking.
Speaker: And I was like, and I said something about her farting in my mouth when I'm, you know, I'm down there doing what I do. And she was about, um, me driving down that road. Doesn't know that God's house. Oh yeah, dirt bags house. Jeff, you and I got to go to see somebody on fire. I'm ready. But a car we're taking.
Speaker: that's all I need to know. I didn't pick something. So, about. Somewhere in the car. And where are we going? Cameras, cameras down to ride two. Cameron, I know you ride it. Cameron will ride his ass off. Cameron's a little dude and and I make fun of him for being a little dude. I'm gonna I'm gonna steal Scott's **** can and I'm gonna go down. Yeah but Cameron Cameron's real quick man. Cam will mount up man. He's a
Speaker: Somehow it turned into her farting when I'm down there doing what I do and and she was like trying to put it on me I was like you have nobody to blame but yourself if you fart while I'm down there and I go elbow deep That's on you all on you. That's all that's all on you Just because I'm just I'm gonna record it
Speaker: If my wife was downtown and I let one loose, she would donkey kick me in the fucking nuts. I know she would. No, look at the camera. Look at the camera. And this, from here to here, I'm going full on. How you looking? How you looking?
Speaker: all up in your, all up in your anal cavity. Was that a Dragon Ball Z reference? Jesus Christ. That was a Street Fighter reference, you fucking one of you nerd. Same difference, dude. That brings back some old memories for Mondays.
Speaker: What the fuck? How does that bring up old memories with the way that you squirm and clench when just my little shrimp peanut kind of traits? Yeah, that's just to make. Nice.
Speaker: Little shot in the dark there First of all, first of all, I expected that from her second of all. Fuck you Jeff You're supposed to have my back That was a that was a classic nonsensical nonsense busting the balls That was a softball
Speaker: on the
Speaker: Ex -boyfriends are the best to beat the fuck up. Yeah, it's a hundred percent pre -meditated and I'll tell you what every fight I've been in in my entire life has been Ex -boyfriends of friends of mine. I wish that I could say that every fight that I've ever been in was was was that situation
Speaker: All three fights for Jeffers me for you Hey that reminds me The pictures of Parker and his little karate geek Fucking cute as shit
Speaker: Isn't it? He's so adorable. Oh my God. That kid is just a ball of cuteness. I got poor badass kids, man. I can't wait until Parker's got my last name. I actually, that's another, that's another premeditation attack. Premeditated attack. I'm on what Parker's sperm donors has too. Yeah.
Speaker: first, folks. Yeah, you know what? You know, some shit's going to go down and the courts are going to be like episode 28 of nonsensical nonsense way back in 2021. Glick said that he was going to beat the brakes off of Parker Glick's sperm donor. And just so you know, this is public.
Speaker: come at all. That's me saying that's like back before the views and opinions expressed in this podcast are strictly glitched only. They have nothing to reflect and or
Speaker: Yeah. They don't reflect upon summer S Sweeney and she may, she does not feel the same way. There you go, baby. Summer, what does the S stand for? I'm curious. Summer's a Nazi SS.
Speaker: She said pretty much. She didn't even deny it. She was like, yeah, fuck it. It's not the worst thing. She's like, okay, I'll go with it. Whatever. It's not the worst thing that's been said on the book. My middle name or my last name? Well, I know your last name. Oh, my middle name is Serena. Just not Josh. What the fuck? Who the fuck is Josh?
Speaker: some are basically said Josh said that some are basically Josh said ex her ex is a snitch. No, no, no, no Cameron. Uh not just my ex. There's just other people who are on my Facebook page who have access to Chris's Facebook page as well since it's public. Oh, but I didn't say anything. I had to **** them people.
Speaker: I said I totally put a disclaimer out there so you cannot be held accountable for the actions of being There you go And that's and that's and that's a hundred percent binding and legal. I'm a lawyer. It's just yeah Hey that reminds me there there is a there is a website called do not pay dot -com that is basically an AI lawyer and
Speaker: So you can run it through that. You don't need an AI lawyer when you got an Esquire lawyer, an attorney at law. Esquire. Basically, if that was to happen, I'd lose my kid, I'd lose everything I have, and I'd actually owe the courts a lot of money. Yeah, but I put the disclaimer out there, which saves you. Trust me. Yeah. I know. And I'm not just bullshitting. Okay, with my Bezos money that's coming in.
Speaker: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Speaker: the other guy's situation. I don't really give a rat's ass. Well, at the end of the day, you can't have one without the other. Yeah, just do what's right. Do the right thing and save your ass with an ass weapon. It's not even that. I don't want to do any...
Speaker: I do not want to do any harm to this guy. I do not want to do anything to him unless provoked. I just want him to do the right thing and I want him to, he has no interest or any, he does not want to be a father in any way, shape or form.
Speaker: And I have stepped out and I do, I want Parker. He's my son. He doesn't want to give father to Parker. Yes, to Parker. Parker is my son. Well, I will be the first to say that is a douchebag you speak of. Because if you, I don't care who you are, if you father a child, a one -night stay and or she would douchebag.
Speaker: Yeah, that is my opinion and and fuck anybody that says different but like I said, I do not and i'll take the heat on any of that Yeah, I don't wish any harm on him. I don't want to do any harm on him. I just want him to do the right thing because I have stepped up parker's my son I want parker to be my son. I want to raise him up as if he was a glick and I want to make him a glick So do the right thing as far as the other situation
Speaker: I don't give a goddamn what the courts have to say or anything about that. Given the opportunity and the other situation, that motherfucker is going to see a very dark sadistic side of this guy that you don't want to see. Well, you know, you pack him up and shipped him Cancun. I know a place to hide him. And like I said, like I said, I can come down to Cancun and I'll be King Ding.
Speaker: I don't know. King Dingle down in Cancun. Put me on the payroll. Apparently. Yeah. Amen to that. I got offered a job on the payroll about three years ago. No. Like what what shortly after? What was it? Was it the second second time you guys came up, baby?
Speaker: When Parker started calling me dad and asking if he could call me dad or whatever, that was like the coolest thing ever. I was going to say that that's got to warm the heart right there. That's that, you know, um, given the permission to being called dad to a child you did not father is where the kid is, is the kid as in Parker feels comfortable calling you dad. That's just fucking cool.
Speaker: Yeah. No, it was, it was so cool. I mean, it was, it was honestly like an honor for me. No, you know, and you know, I'm not physically met summer or physically met Parker, but Parker seems like a cool little cat. Yeah. Yeah. He's, he's a cool little dude and having cash too, since, since like legitimately the first time they met.
Speaker: Yeah, it was like we day one ish man like like legit day one ish which is which is really cool which is really cool in the grand scheme of things because Oh, he's doing real dead bullshit
Speaker: Yeah, well and like summer just said summer said if you if if you ask she disconnected a smile But she said in the comments if you ask Parker who his dad is he says me and his other dad is dead On your Parker, I know Parker's probably gonna hear this till he's like 30, but good on your Parker Yeah, and Cameron said Cameron said man, that's that's cute. Hey, can I call you dad? That's awesome
Speaker: the the the the the the
Speaker: biological dad doesn't mean shit. It's the one who spends every second protecting, loving, and providing for the child.
Speaker: Man there's been a long time since we had issues like that kind of glitched out there at the end completely knocked us off our platform So I do want to apologize for that. We appreciate y 'all for listening Hopefully you enjoyed the show and if you're not already feel free to give us a follow on social media at nonsensical nonsense on Facebook Instagram Twitter TikTok and YouTube
Speaker: And if you want to email us for any reason, we do have an email, nonsensical nonsense podcast at gmail .com. Again, thank you guys for listening. We'll be back with a brand new live show Wednesday night at seven 30. We'll be live on Facebook and HAPS TV. And that's a again at nonsensical nonsense. Y 'all enjoy your week and we'll see you when we see you.
Speaker: She whispers prayers into the wind and she communes with the dead She throws the bones into the fire and in darkness she tears
Speaker: Oh, model in the sky Take this sacrifice I wanna live far
Speaker: There was a smile on her face as she watched my soul leave It's her last to back her head
Speaker: Sir, can I help you? Do you have any weapons of any kind? Anything to defend yourself? Sir, this is a speedy mark. We have hot dogs too for a dollar. I just put them on the roller yesterday. They're pretty good. No, man. Like something sharp. Something like I can stab to defend myself with. I've got some sharp titter combos over there. It's kind of like a Ritz cracker pregnant with a cheese baby.
Speaker: All right, well, let me just take one of these lighters and I'm going to borrow your bug spray and can I borrow your bathroom key as well? Yeah, bathroom key. All right. I got your bathroom key right there. Make sure you bring that back and that'll be $13 .62 and I'm going to have to have exact same. So we're in a coin shortage at the moment.
Speaker: Whatever, man. OK. Just that. Just that. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh! A mother in the sky. Take this sacrifice. I want to live forever. And I'll spill it in the air. Give me all of us. Make me a darling.
Speaker: Oh shit, Chuck!
Speaker: Take this sacrifice I want to live forever And now Spirit in the earth Give me all of us Make me a God
