Transcript
Speaker: Ah, yeah, y 'all know what day it is. It's my question. That's it, that's it. That's it, that's it.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Yeah! What the fuck is going on everybody? Welcome, welcome to another exciting episode of Nonsenseical Nonsense.
Speaker: I'm Glick hanging out with you guys, as always, and I got my right -hand man, the meteorocrist, co -host, I can find, Jeffrey Hockenswiggle. What is going on tonight, sir? I am already starting.
Speaker: It's a big night. Today's a big day, man. You should be excited. Michigan is playing in the Big Ten championship. Yeah, nothing else going on with that. It's just Michigan. Nothing. Not a single thing. Well, before we get into the bullshit, let me go ahead and say happy birthday to you, sir. Thank you, sir. Congratulations on another year. Thank you, Tony. Thank you, Joe. And cheers. Salute.
Speaker: Roll tide, man. Absolutely, Tony. I could not believe that. Alabama slapped the absolute dog shit out of Georgia today, which Georgia was, like, de -favored. Speaking of Michigan, I got my Aiden AK Chris Hutchinson jersey on, because that's how far back I go. For those of you who don't know, I've been to Michigan for my entire life.
Speaker: And this is a Chris Hutchinson jersey, which is the dad, which is the dad of Heisman hopeful, Aiden Hutchinson. And it just so happens that they both wear the same number, 97 Jersey. And there has not been a defensive Heisman trophy winner since Charles Woodson did it and he played for
Speaker: Oh yeah, that's right, Michigan. Hey, I got a stupid question. Heisman was a dude, right? He was a person. Or is it just a random name? Yeah, sure. OK, I'm just curious. It's just a trophy. No, but it was the first person. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, but most of the awards you could get, most of the awards players win in college football are named after former
Speaker: Players like they've got like that. I can't remember what it's called, but they got the tight end trophy was like one of them Is named after some guy who was a tight end? Whatever anyways, I Don't know this one citizen. I don't know how far back it goes. I don't want to be like yeah 1901 Frank Heisman Yeah, that's the one thing about sports I know Yes, well speaking of college football as of
Speaker: As of right now until this game that's getting ready to start right now, the top four rankings are not going to change because Cincinnati won. Alabama beat Georgia, so Georgia will probably drop to number two. Maybe number two and then Alabama and as of right now, Michigan still ranked number two, but we'll see what happens in this Iowa game. But as I said, guys, welcome to the show. Hopefully you guys had a good week.
Speaker: Enjoying your Saturday so far. If you're not already, if you could be so kind, please feel free to give us a little follow and a little bit of love and support. Check us out on social media, on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok, all at Nonsense School Nonsense. And I promise, I've only had one drink. I'm sorry, my second.
Speaker: Well, how's it going, Michael? And if you guys, uh, you guys can also, uh, check us out live every Wednesday and Saturday night here on HAPS, uh, YouTube, Twitch, Facebook, and Twitter, we go live. And then if you want to catch all the episodes, if you're, if you're not
Speaker: faint of heart or a weeks old individual, feel free to check out every episode. Thank you sir, I just cleaned it up right before the old podcast. Feel free to check out every episode of the podcast on Anchor, Spotify, Google Play, Apple Podcast, basically anywhere and everywhere you get your podcasts and jollies from.
Speaker: So if you guys would be so kind, go give us a like and go give us a pounding. It's Jeff's birthday. So don't give him the double thumb and give him the quadruple thumb in tonight. And you can always email us at the email. What's the email? It's podcast at gmail .com. I was going to drag him out. I was going to drag it out. I've been listening to the last couple of or like.
Speaker: I don't know, four or five episodes, five or six episodes back. Yeah, I'm getting caught up on the podcast listening to it. And I can hear the anger and frustration in your silence when I just drag it out. Keep it going. And that lets you get your three little words, or five words that you say. I'm very proud of my five little words.
Speaker: I've been not busy all day when it's been awesome. I would like to say that I was busy, or that I wasn't or wasn't. I don't know, I really wasn't. I just went out and I started doing some DoorDash stuff just to make a little bit of extra cash and whatnot.
Speaker: so it's it's super easy what's it going to have a we had uh food delivered yesterday i don't remember i think it was yesterday and you know how hard is it yeah
Speaker: Well, I mean, I was originally going to go out for like two hours. I did last night. I went out for about two hours last night. I was going to do the same thing today, but it was still kind of busy. So I wound up staying out for an extra hour. So I went out for three hours. But I mean, it's not a bad gig and it's pretty easy. I didn't think I listened to two and a half episodes. I, uh, so I got,
Speaker: I got my game, and I'm stoked. This SnowRunner game that I downloaded yesterday, because I couldn't wait. I got paid, and I was like, I'm buying it. This is my birthday present. And I've wanted it since the first game.
Speaker: The origin of the game, the original game, is called Mud Runner. And then, you know, work its way up Mount SnowRunner is the newest, the latest, whatever, version. And as I stated when I talked to you on Snapchat, you would hate it. You would get frustrated as fuck. Oh, no. I almost passed out and drove my car into a ditch when you were explaining it to me today on Snapchat. Well, can you not, I spent 20 minutes pulling a truck out of the mud, and I loved it every second of it.
Speaker: Yes, you were you were you were talking about the game when we were step chatting earlier today and
Speaker: I was driving and I literally blacked out for a few seconds and woke up and didn't know what year it was and where the fuck I was anymore. The cool thing about the game is it is not an exciting game. You're not going to get jump scared or anything like that. It's all about the technicality of driving, which as a car nut and vehicle nut all together,
Speaker: I love it. Holy shit. But once again, you would hate this shit. Well, the technicality of driving is a totally different thing because I can drive my ass off. Well, that's what I'm saying. I'm not saying you wouldn't be good at the game. You would just get bored.
Speaker: there's missions throughout the map and there's i think there's nine different maps nine or ten different maps that you go to and you have various trucks that you can find pull out of the mud there's different quests that you have to pick up you're in a semi truck you pick up a a load of metal pipes and take them to
Speaker: construction site but the problem is it's it's it's uh you ever seen the show ice road truckers yeah i mean i never i've never said i don't watch the entire episode just because it's kind of boring and i don't like i don't like fake reality tv i got real big into season three but it's uh it's basically what the game is it's basically ice road truckers is a video game
Speaker: Leslie, by the way, Leslie said happy birthday, Jeff. I saw that. I do know about trucks in the mud. I also learned that day not to take navigational advice from Donny.
Speaker: This week this week at work has been Amazing. Apparently I'm the almost dead account guy The almost dead account guy. Well, you know, we have all these accounts I started out day one. I had like 35 counts and
Speaker: as um i think thursday wednesday or thursday my boss contacted me and she says hey apparently you're really good at these uh accounts and nobody can get a hold of so yeah a bunch of them and they sent me uh like 60 and i still got caught up in a single day and i still basically have nothing on Monday nothing to do tomorrow well here's the idea it's sunday
Speaker: Oh, tomorrow. Take a day off. Oh, no, I don't worry about this. I say take a day off. I say take a day off as I play it on. Yeah, yeah. Well, tomorrow, Austin's got a Christmas concert in school. It's going to be like three freaking hours. Oh, my God. That's going to be exciting. I'll give you a tip on that. What you're going to do is you go get a bottle of
Speaker: like one of those squeeze tubes of suntan lotion or or sunscreen clean it out real good fill it with alcohol and just carry it in your pocket nobody'll ever know they're just like oh Chris really cares about his skin wait a minute what the hell did you just say to do you take you take like a squeeze bottle of suntan
Speaker: So take sunscreen into a take take an empty bottle of sunscreen To an inside concert Yeah, exactly. No, but I mean in the winter in Ohio It just
Speaker: There is nothing that would make any rhyme or reason for me to take it to an indoor concert to put alcohol into. I think tickets. Don't. Apparently that's a quote unquote life hack that some people do for concerts. I was like, that's a good idea. As opposed to a flask. Daddy used to do more spaghetti.
Speaker: I don't think so. I made some kick -ass spaghetti today. I changed it up. I made some alfredo sauce. So you made alfredo? Yeah, well, I made spaghetti alfredo. But with bacon and ham and the alfredo sauce, like, yeah, it's pre -made alfredo sauce because fuck bacon environments from scratch.
Speaker: I had sour cream and half cream. Holy shit. That's my toothbrush. Yeah. There's kids toothpaste in there. What? In the closet. Yeah, I think in the closet. You got one to ask about toothpaste. I got one to keep bringing me beers. Nice.
Speaker: my daughter has brought me two empty or two full cans of beer they're just sitting here sweating while I'm finished my second
Speaker: I was gonna say, I thought she brought you two empty ones. You should bounce the empty ones off of her head and be like, you're doing it wrong, you're fired. No, I got one empty one already. I'm trying to find a place where I can keep them separate. You suck at life, little girl. You know what? You have let me down one too many times. What? Did it shut off? Let it charge. She gave me the best birthday present anyone could ever give.
Speaker: She cleaned the entire upstairs by herself and she did a really fucking amazing job. Your daughter did? Yeah. Is it black? Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, she cleaned my bedroom, she made the bed, because I was lazy this morning and didn't do it. Because I stayed up, I bought that game last night, I stayed up until like six in the morning until my wife yelled at me. She's like, what are you doing? It's my birthday, I'm playing my game, she's like, it's six o 'clock in the morning. I was like, I should probably go to bed. Joe said put your, what do you want me to do?
Speaker: Can you get that? Are you sure? All right, here you go, crack head. I'm not working. I'm not like I'm doing anything. But yeah, she cleaned, she cleaned the upstairs bathroom, she cleaned the, no, she cleaned her bedroom, she cleaned the hallway the whole nine yards.
Speaker: And better than the other kids would have. While the other kids were just - Better than you do. Well, probably. I used to put that down as a yes. But what's funny is, apparently there was a Fortnite event today and the other three kids were just counting down the minutes.
Speaker: Yeah, Cash was talking about something on Fortnite with Spider -Man or something. Hey, pretty girl. Oh, they added the rock to it, dude. Like the rock rat? Yeah, as in Dwayne. Why? I don't know. But when he showed up on screen during that event, thank you. Thank you, Miss Summer.
Speaker: When he showed up on screen, these three crazy idiots just lost their fucking minds. They were like, it's the rock! And I was like, yeah, we get it. It was like cartoon version of him.
Speaker: Oh, so they have a rock skin. Exactly. Exactly. These kids lost their fucking minds like it was, you know... Speaking of the rock, Subber said she... 1990's ma 'am Anderson walked in the room right now, you and I were freaked. Yeah. Speaking of the rock, Subber said she watched that new movie on Netflix with him and Ronald Reynolds, Red Notice. Yeah, so it was really good. Yeah, so she said it was really good.
Speaker: I thought I was watching Hobbs and Shaw. Did they do a sequel to Hobbs and Shaw? No. Hobbs and Shaw has been out for like four years. No, no, but I mean it's been put on Netflix.
Speaker: I mean I always that I watched the movie was because Jason Statham was the fucking man If I was ever gonna let somebody kick my ass, I'd be like
Speaker: If somebody wanted to kick your ass, I don't think you have a whole lot of say who is or isn't going to kick your ass. If ever somebody was going to play me in a movie, like if they did a movie in my life, which would be somebody just sitting around playing video games, I would want Jason Statham to play me.
Speaker: It's just it's just like is this like 40 years from now when he When he is just basically doing a Nic Cage and making every movie that comes his way Oh Speaking of movies, oh we've lost There you go. We lost your sound. Okay. Love you Red notice
Speaker: Are you leaving, baby? I love you. She's like, no, since I'm out. No, I actually have a movie review of a movie you probably have actually seen. The new one or the original? Which one? They're watching Home Alone. Ah, nice. Someone said they're watching Home Alone. I asked if they're watching the original or the new one. I still haven't seen the new one. I haven't watched the new one yet, either. I just can't find myself to do it.
Speaker: But the movie, my movie. You have a movie for you. I have. I do. Um, it is, uh, it is, uh, not a young movie, but it is a good movie. Imagine that. No, it is Euro trip. Have you seen this? You're, you're, I've seen your, uh, I've rewatched it the other day and I was like, your, your, your checklist, would you go down?
Speaker: To do a movie review is, is it 20 plus years old? Check. No, you know what the thing is? Has nobody's ever seen a thing? I was literally flicking. My wife was watching. My wife, the, okay, do you remember I talked about the Money Heist? It's a show in Spain. Well, the final episodes came out yesterday and my wife fucking, you know,
Speaker: dug in like a tick, and watched the final episodes. It was actually really good. I was going to say, when it first started, she got into it pretty heavily, right? Yeah. Well, they finished it. Yeah, Red Notice is on Netflix. Yeah.
Speaker: Fucking, the final few, I think it was like five or six episodes, the final five or six episodes were really fucking good. They wrap it up really nicely and they explain the heist, like how they did it and stuff. But she dug into it like thick. But a song came on that every time I hear said song, and it's a French song,
Speaker: And you would know it if you heard it. But they play said song in Euro Trip. So I literally was like, I know what I'm watching tonight. So I went on the watch series and I watched it. And I'm going to kill you, dog. And Michelle Trachtenberg, nobody else you know.
Speaker: Like, everybody else is a no -name actor. I mean, everybody does a really good movie, except for the guest appearance of fucking Matt Damon. As the band leader singing Scotty Doesn't Know, which is the most popular song in the movie ever. And if you go back to episode 54 or 55, you'll understand Jeff's obsession or love for Matt Damon.
Speaker: Have you ever seen The American World Police? Matt Damon. Yeah. That fucking shit cracks me up. It's been a while since I've seen that movie, but I... But no, I mean, it's a good flick. The girl that plays a lot of Lang in Smallville, she's in it. And she is the worst version of any character she's ever had because she plays it.
Speaker: And that's how we hit the official Datsun School Datsun's. Hell no, absolutely not. We are out of here. Appreciate y 'all listening to it. Jeffery, what are you doing? By advertising on YouTube, I catch the eye of my... Deuces! Ignore that ad. Go yell surprise and get you some butt sex. Amen to that. Check your cheats button.
Speaker: the main character with Matt Damon, and then Matt Damon said he could talk about it at Tube's graduation party. Such a good movie. But yeah, like I said, one of the songs, I don't even know the name of the song. I actually have, I found it on Spotify, and I've listened to it like five times. But, um,
Speaker: I can't remember his name. Vinnie Jones is in it as well. I was going to say it's one of those movies that they just
Speaker: just randomly find as many actors as they can and just outside of your main characters, you get a bunch of sprinkled in cameos. You know, well, Vinnie Jones, you know, as a sports guy, you should you should do you know the history of Vinnie Jones? The first of all, he owns a world. He has a world record. You know that, right? Well, he played what, soccer or rugby or something like that. And he has the world records for being kicked off the
Speaker: He was a good, he was a whole again. He said in an interview, he figured out that if he started running at a certain time, by the time the whistle blew, he could be at full speed. Go, go, go, go!
Speaker: Let's go, baby. Sorry, I'm listening. Blake Corum just broke for like 9 ,000 more touchdown runs. He's one of his actors. If he's in a movie, you know it's going to be good. Oh, I like Vinny Jones. I actually, I like Vinny Jones a lot. He is.
Speaker: He's one of those guys that, if I come across an action movie and I see that he's in it, I'm watching it. I don't care if it's in Russian or French or Chinese or whatever. One of my favorite movies of all time with Vinny Joseph is Snatch. I fucking love that movie. I didn't even watch that movie again. I haven't watched it in years. Yeah. I like Vinny Joseph a lot. And I knew he was originally, he was a soccer player.
Speaker: But I don't know anything about his career. You say as a sports guy, I only like American sports. I don't care for soccer. Rugby is actually - If you and I were in a bar and a football game was on, American football game, I would totally watch. I'd be able to follow what's going on. I might have a couple of questions. But soccer - You want me to turn my TV around so you can watch the Big 10 championship?
Speaker: A buddy of mine about what was before I met my wife, so over 12 years ago, took me to a soccer game here. And I spent the entire time drinking beer going, I have no idea what's going on. I do little. Yeah, no, I and the fact that the clock clock counts up pisses me off to no end. Yeah, I had when I when I lived down in Charleston,
Speaker: One of my customers, because Charleston had a professional soccer team, I think it was Charleston Battery or something like that, but MLS team or whatever. But he was a customer of mine and it was right after my wife and I split, my ex -wife and I split.
Speaker: He and I were talking about it. He's like, I gotta get you, we gotta get you out of the house. I was like, well, I'm already driving for Uber. He's like, no, you gotta, you need to go out and have some fun. He was a seasoned ticket holder for Charleston Battery. He was a big soccer guy.
Speaker: And he's like you're gonna come to the game with me this Friday. I don't I don't really care for soccer B I don't know nothing about it. He's a don't worry. It'll be fun. I know everything what was going on But the battery won and I got drunk and I was probably one of the loudest people I was probably one of the loudest people in our section
Speaker: I didn't know what I was cheering for. I had no idea. And they don't serve beer. They serve micheladas, which is beer with like a flavor, like a spicy flavor, almost like Tabasco sauce. It's not Tabasco sauce. But I had four of those. I had no idea what I was.
Speaker: Nice. I had no idea what I was cheering about. What, what, what the crowd cheered. I cheered. I was like, I know they go. Yeah. I know they go up and down the field and kick the soccer ball and you got to kick it into that giant net. And you know, that's about the extent of my soccer, but I mean, yeah.
Speaker: Like rugby, I don't know anything about rugby, but rugby is fun as hell to watch when I was on Way back in the day when I was on periscope and doing live streaming I had some friends that were from like Australia and whatnot different areas. They're like, dude, you gotta watch rugby, you know, so I Started streaming like their team
Speaker: And I told I was like I don't know what's going on but bay that it's exciting to watch it's fun to watch and those guys those guys in rugby are monsters are Monsters, and they got no pads on and they they are like killing each other 67 yard touchdown run. Yeah, I remember that There's an Australian player
Speaker: for this American football team. And he literally says in Australia, when we play rugby, the only people that wear pads are the refs in the crowd. I would never play rugby. Yeah.
Speaker: It's it's it's a it's a it's a wild game man, I don't know anything about it, but man it is fun to watch if you like if you like violence and Yeah
Speaker: I mean, that's how I explain rugby. Kevin and I were watching a movie a couple weeks ago, and he says, and somebody mentioned rugby, and he said, dad, what's rugby? I said, uh, as you know in American football, I said, yeah. I said, okay, picture in an MMA fight happens in the middle of the American football game. Pretty much. Some guys are crazy. Yeah.
Speaker: Years ago, I mean, I'd actually gone to a couple OSU rugby games when I worked at OSU the first time around. Because being an employee there, we can get tickets to sporting events and this, that, and the other thing. And even then, I was just like, this is really cool. But not really for free. I mean, you can. We did get those for free. But discounted price and stuff like that. Actually, you'd be surprised at how many people are at rugby and lacrosse.
Speaker: Yeah, lacrosse is another cool sport that I don't know anything about but it's pretty fun to watch I would be dangerous at lacrosse because I'm really running down the field with a stick Swinging it. Yeah, swing it You probably somehow managed just you You probably managed to somehow swing it and hit yourself with it and fuck your entire day. No doubt I have no doubt You remember
Speaker: I guess it was almost 10 years ago. The TV show Teen Wolf came out. Yeah. Well, I was heavily listening to Kevin Smith's podcast back then. What's going on, Connor?
Speaker: He had the cast from Teen Wolf Wolf, and I was like, you know what, I might actually watch this group now. And I started watching it, and they too were lacrosse in that. That was my introduction to lacrosse. What were you watching? The Teen Wolf. What were you watching? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Not a terrible show.
Speaker: No, I liked it. I watched the first couple seasons of it, but then after that it got to, much like Vampire Daughters, the first couple seasons was good. And then it just went all early. Well, I'm sure you will make fun of it for this. I'm sure your daughters watch it, but have you seen Riverdale? My oldest one is obsessed with that show. I fucking like that show. Joe likes that show, too. I'm probably so far behind, I don't remember where I left off. Yeah. Just start from the beginning again.
Speaker: I've done that with like four shows. But I also, I introduced my son to a movie today that we were in a cab. Debbie Does Dallin. No. Have you seen that? The Kindra 500. Kindra 500.
Speaker: Kindred does 500 guys in one day. A friend of ours, he actually drives a cab here. And he literally watches Netflix while he drops it. Oh my god, that's super safe. Exactly. So we had to go grocery shopping yesterday. And this guy's got this movie on. And my son was like, dad, we need to see this movie. It looks really good.
Speaker: And I said, we have that movie on DVD. And it's on Netflix. Oh, by the way, Connor's still waiting on his SMD panties. Oh, OK. You'll get right on that. Or SDM panties. Yeah. We'll get right on that. He just popped into the comments on Facebook. But I introduced my son to A Knight's Tale. Oh, that's a good movie. I haven't watched that in forever. Well, you didn't really introduce him. The cab he did.
Speaker: But yeah, well, we were in the cab for maybe five minutes, so he saw the beginning. But it blew his mind, it blew his mind when he literally, at one point, he said something that I almost killed him. He said, when he looks at Heath Ledger, he goes, is that Thor? And I said, get the fuck out of my house. I said, dude, I said, give it a minute and he'll ask you why you're so serious.
Speaker: And he waited the entire movie before he went, when's he saying it? I was like, it's fucking Joker, dude. And he's like, no. I said, that's Joker. He's like, what? I said, that's the Joker. That's the Joker, you dummy. It blew his mind. And then, of course, I had to show him 10 things I hate about him.
Speaker: which I actually found out is based on, it's loosely based on William Shakespeare's Taming the Shrew. Hmm. I've been on a little movie, a classic movie, binge for the past couple days. I watched, while I was working, I watched three men and a baby and three men and a little lady.
Speaker: And those videos do not hold up. They do not hold up. Holy shit. You seem to be watching awful lot of TV lately. You sure you're still working? I'm putting in more hours than anybody. I got approved for as much overtime as I want since I have all these extra clients. Yeah. So next week I plan on hitting like 70 hours.
Speaker: Which is not. You know what? The best thing about my job is I love my job. It is the best job I've ever had. And I hate walking away from my computer. Well, there's that. I walk away from my computer. Fuck, I gotta get rid of it. You know this guy. Yeah. You brought up Thor and Joker. So that was a nice little segue into the top 10 I have for you tonight. You did find it.
Speaker: I found it. It's my top ten because it's my show and I do everything and I have a microphone. So here's my fucking top ten, you stupid creeps. You know that scream in that intro is from Rockstar with Mark Wahlberg. That's Mark Wahlberg screaming.
Speaker: Obnoxious barking in the background is some stupid ass puppies that should be put down.
Speaker: I have no idea. No, we went grocery shopping yesterday. I got a quickie story for you. We went grocery shopping yesterday, and my brother -in -law was here. And he did a nice thing. He watched the dishes. But when he watches the dishes, he leaves the window, the back door open, the backyard open. And he forgot to close it. We got back from doing grocery shopping where all of us went. Yeah. Sounds fun. And the four dogs that were in the backyard climbed through said window.
Speaker: Oh shit. Oh shit. I was so fucking pissed. Because I bought these fucking amazing bratwurst. They're jalapeno infused bratwurst. As soon as I bought them I was like, I know what I'm fucking eating tonight.
Speaker: Oh my god! I bought these fucking things when we came home and I had to wait until almost midnight to fucking cook them because these goddamn dogs shit and piss all over my living room. Oh man. We gotta check out redness if you haven't already. Man, it is 14 to nothing in the first quarter and Iowa fans are already looking dejected and ready to kill themselves.
Speaker: Michigan had a 67 yard touchdown run. And I don't know what this pass play was, but it was another big ass play. Feel free to show the stats there, you knuckleheads. But if you haven't checked it out already, check out Red Notice, Connor. I don't really watch much of that. Connor, it's actually really good. Of course it's good. It's got Ryan Reynolds in it. But the plot twist?
Speaker: 80 fucking yards. Damn. Pass from a receiver to another receiver. Jesus. It was a trick play. Like a flea flicker? Yeah, we'll give it that just to make it dumb and we'll dumb it down for you. I was going to say dumb it down for me. I mean, talk to me like I'm a five. Yeah. That's how you. Well, basically it was like, it was like, it was, it was a quarterback.
Speaker: The one receiver came around and the quarterback handed it off to him like he was going to run. The last two plays for Michigan offense has been 142 yards and two touchdowns. And then instead of the wide receiver running, he dropped back and passed the ball. So which is impressive on that part. Yes, it happens a lot more than you think.
Speaker: Really? But anyways, I have a top 10 for you, Jeffrey. Okay. I'm ready. And it goes, and it goes with, it goes with, uh, Wednesday's top 10. Was it Wednesday? Yeah. Sure. Why not? This is the top 10 definitive superheroes list who ever been put together. So your top 10 superheroes.
Speaker: Do what? I'm buzzed. So yeah, I'm ready. I got a buzz going on. I'm on my fourth beer. Number 10 on this list, because you said him earlier. That's what made me remember this. Alabama won it, Cincinnati won it, and Baylor won. Thor. Thor is arguably the, yeah, number 10.
Speaker: Yeah, well wait till you hear the rest of this this is a pretty good list The war is arguably the strongest character in them in Marvel. He's an escarping God. I Have his hammer around my neck and on my finger You have the real
Speaker: Yeah, I have the real Molnir. Yes. Which, enemy that doesn't know the difference, please look it up. Your mind will be blown. But he possesses immense strength and can control lightning and wields the hammer. Molnir, with Molnir by his side, he is able to fly and travel interplanetary.
Speaker: We got a whole big long thing here. I will give that. I mean, Thor, Thor, Thor is an amazing job as Thor. Yeah, he does. And in the end, they're with those Thor movies. Name someone else that played Thor that you actually know.
Speaker: I know who it was. It wasn't Dolph Lunder, and Dolph Lunder played He -Man. It's an Afrio. When did he play Thor? Uh, in the movie Adventures of Babysitter. Technically. He referenced himself as Thor. In the very end of the movie. Close to Thor.
Speaker: Are you sure that was Vincent D 'Onofrio? Vincent D 'Onofrio. I love that fucking movie. I've seen it like 500 times. I love that movie. The one movie, I can't remember the girl's name, the main character. She was in a cocktail with Tom Cruise and Karate Kid and like a bunch of other easy fucking movies. What's her name?
Speaker: in my phone what's her name did you ever see did you ever see that show good luck charlie or whatever good luck chuck loved it oh on disney
Speaker: Oh, oh, oh, oh. It's vaguely. Well, the dad that is in that show, I don't know if it was a Thor television. I think it was him. I don't know if it was a Thor television show or a Thor movie, but he played Thor. Oh, did he? I didn't know that. One of your kids is covering up your camera. Hey, don't cover up the camera. What's wrong with you? What? This is a camera? Obviously. I thought the green thing was a camera. No, that's the light.
Speaker: Butt out. Cocktail. I can't smell one of those. I am Thor, and this is my hammer. What's going on, butt? No, and Thor in the MCU has some of the most badass movie entrances ever.
Speaker: I know what Adventures in Babysitting was. I just don't know if you really would classify that as being Thor. He didn't play Thor.
Speaker: He played a character who had a mental disorder and should have been in a loony bin and thought he was Thor. Have you ever seen him in fucking of mice and men? Holy shit, he's genius. He's been in a... He did a bit of Gregory Hines that he played a blind ex -football player.
Speaker: And Gregory Hines is a man in a wheelchair, and they decide to go whitewater rafting in a tournament. He was in Daredevil on Netflix. He played Fisk. Kingpin. Oh, Fisk, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Kingpin, Carlton Fisk. Yeah, Carlton Fisk. Yeah, Fisk is Kingpin, the same person. Kingpin is his bad guy name. But yeah.
Speaker: He was great in that. Cause him and, uh, well he was also in like Punisher and stuff like that. Well, um, I can't remember the name of the, he was in, uh, uh, SVU, right? Yeah. One of those, let me turn off my camera. Cause my wife loves to walk by and not be seen cause she's in our PJs. Give me two seconds. I'm still here. Oh my God. Nobody gives a fuck. I know.
Speaker: Anyways, number nine on the lip is the fastest man on the planet, DC's Flash. I think he's beating Superman in a foot race.
Speaker: The debate is if he actually won or not. He would. Anyways, while there have been many to take the mantle of the Flash, the only one worthy of this list is Barry Allen. Not Wally West, not Jay Garrett, Bart Allen, but Barry Allen. The original Flash.
Speaker: I'm a fan of Wally West of the supplies. I've always liked their characters. Yeah, well, I mean, Garak was cool. I mean, the other flight, it's much like the different versions of Green Lantern. Yeah, well.
Speaker: But coming in at number 8 on the top 10 greatest superheroes is Wakanda Forever, the Black Panther himself.
Speaker: If you would have asked me 10 years ago about the prevalence of Black Panther, I probably would have sculpted the question. This isn't because he wasn't relevant, but more so due to my own ignorance for that, and I apologize. Black Panther is one of the most important superheroes of the last 60 years, much like Wonder Woman provided an entire segment of the comic market hero of the comic market.
Speaker: a hero to cheer for, so did Black Panther. He is the king of fictional nation Wakanda. Wakanda, why relatively unknown to most Earth, is the most advanced nation in the world. And it houses very rare and expensive vibranium and uses the metal in nearly all of its endeavors. That includes Black Panther's suit and weaponry. So what they were saying, and I don't know who typed this, but they had me all fucked up because they clearly are an idiot. Much like Wonder Woman gave
Speaker: women a superhero to cheer for and get behind and have a role model for women and little girls and whatnot. Black Panther was that for the black community, the African -American community. They had their guy. So like I said, I don't know what the hell this, the guy who wrote this, why are you informed and all that? I think this guy that wrote this didn't want to actually say that. But he was like, he did what Wonder Woman did.
Speaker: Yeah, that he just rambled on seven seven words. He's like, I'm not actually going to say it, but you know what I mean. But coming in at number seven. Yeah, I'll let you say it. I don't. I'm not saying anything wrong to, you know, it's not like it's that big of a deal. But, um, uh, the, the girl that plays his sister in the movie, uh, Sherry, Sherry, Sherry. I don't know.
Speaker: She makes Todie Stark. Todie Stark was dumb. Yeah. So that's impressive, plus the chicken letters hot. But Jesus Christ. That's a point in my book. All right, that's the only point in your fucking book. Exactly. You could, the world's greatest movie could come out and not have a hot chicken in it and you'd be like, nope, it was dumb movie, it was terrible. It's fucking terrible.
Speaker: There's no hot chicks in it. It's terrible. Does she have a pulse? Is she breathing? Well, number seven on the list. Anyways, we just talked about him.
Speaker: Number seven coming in is the, to go with, I think number seven was Sinestro last week. So number seven on this list of superheroes is the Green Lantern. Of all the Green Lanterns, none are more fitting for this list other than Hal Jordan.
Speaker: Despite what anybody says, I didn't like the Green Room. It was a good movie. It was a good movie. It was still good. Company number six. One of the X -Men's most badass motherfuckers. Wolverine. Not too shabby for a Canadian. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: Wolverine is to Canada what Captain America is to the United States. Both are symbols of their country while Captain America represents all that is good in the world. Wolverine represents how to get exactly what you want without ever asking.
Speaker: Speaking of Captain America. You cannot. If they ever recast Wolverine, I would protest. Well, they're going to have to, because he said Logan was his last movie. I don't know. They'll find somebody that could fill the Wolverine shoes. Look at his kid or something. Oh, yeah, yeah. His kid's like five. The kid's got a job waiting for him.
Speaker: Yeah, they'll find somebody. Trying to think, I can't think of somebody who right off the top of my head would be a good replacement. But much so, well, when you decided to no show, no call a couple weeks ago, when you were getting your laptop, we were talking about superheroes and the Joker conversation came up speaking about people who should play Joker.
Speaker: and blazing it was in here blazing was in here and him and I were talking and he was like you know who would be the perfect joker and yeah that's who he said and then we got to thinking about it it was like the smile he's got the laugh he would fucking kill it well and he already played green he played green goblin and uh
Speaker: The Spider -Man movie. Well, for a while, there was an unwritten rule that if you were ever in the DC universe, you couldn't be in the Marvel universe. But that rule has been thrown out the window for years, because Ryan Reynolds has done it. Thanks for this, yours. Fucking Captain America.
Speaker: Captain America Chris. What was Chris Evans in? That's Marvel. No, the guy who the guy who played Thanos did it. Yeah, because he was. Yeah, Josh Brolin was in was in Jonah Hex. And if I'm correct, I believe Jonah Hex is DC. I believe so.
Speaker: And if Yada Reeves ever lands it... You know who doesn't get enough love for being the first successful Marvel movies? Oh, and Ben Affleck did it too. Affleck? Yeah, because he was Daredevil and then he was Batman. No, the person that doesn't get enough love for being one of the first successful Marvel movies is fucking, uh... Oh shit, I literally had his name and I forgot it.
Speaker: Blade. Oh, yeah. Wesley Snipes. Wesley Snipes, thank you. Wow. Yeah, that whole thing was really good. Ryan Reynolds is in that. Yeah. So he's been back and forth. Well, Ryan, well, Blade's Marvel. So he's done. Yeah. Yeah. He's done Marvel and DC. Roland's done Marvel and DC. Affleck's done Marvel and DC.
Speaker: Um, but anyways, coming in number five, it was DC. He did fucking Batman. Oh, you're right. Jesus Christ. I forgot about Batman. He was just recently. He was, I know that people gave people, people gave shit for him to be a bat flag. I loved it. I loved it. He's one of my, he's one of my favorites. Yeah. Blow me in swallow.
Speaker: He's he's one of my favorites. I thought he was great. He was able to he was able to Well, I think he was able to take the to the Bruce Wayne personality and the Batman personality and do them both very well where Christian Christian or what was then Christian Bale or whatever the fuck his name is. He just he was a terrible Bruce Wayne
Speaker: Yeah, he's, he's, he's broody. All he wanted to do was be Batman. Where? And he was, in my opinion, a little bit more Bruce Wayne. It would have been so much better. Yeah. But, uh, but yeah, coming to number five, speaking of Chris Evans. Yeah. Captain America. Speaking of Captain America, Captain America is the consummate do -gooder.
Speaker: He has a set of morals and values that are uncompromising. He fights oppression, terrorism, injustice, intolerance, prejudice, bigotry, sorry, corruption and crime. He is the definition of white privilege.
Speaker: I'm just reading what the author wrote. I didn't know. Sorry. I was being woke for a minute. Yes, I did. Nice. I like that. I was being, I was being woke. I was being woke. Yeah. I was being woke. I was, I was reaching to, I was accommodating our left side viewers. We might, I don't know.
Speaker: And he believes a better world and does everything in his power to make the belief reality. He believes in a better world. Coming in at number four, Wonder Woman. Did you ever watch the Wonder Woman TV show?
Speaker: Yes, I did. I haven't I've never seen a single episode. I haven't. I thought she was pretty hot. She's a good looking woman. Even now. I mean, she's a little long in a tooth, but she still look good. Nothing arguable about that. I have a member between my legs. Shut up, Connor. Yeah, I'm wishing an absolutely embarrassed Ohio State.
Speaker: Ragnarok is probably the greatest Marvel movie ever made. It is really good. Flash. Oh my God. I'm just catching up on it. I don't know why Facebook is so bad about it. The second Thor movie is so hard to watch. It takes forever. Yeah. It's so slow and to get going. But Ragnarok is fucking Spock. Yeah, Ragnarok is really good. Definitely enjoyed. I loved Ragnarok, man.
Speaker: All right, there's somebody in the opening scene where he's he's sitting there hanging from that chain. He's like, I'm not even doing this. It's yeah. Fucking hilarious. He's he's he asked him a question. He spit her. I was like, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Hold on a second. I'm not even doing it. Although my wife and I know that that was the movie.
Speaker: That was the movie that first first one when he's when he's sitting there in the coffee shop and he drinks coffee He's like another That was the movie that I came home the day I bought my soundbar I instantly came home and put Ragnarok on to see what my soundbar sounded like I
Speaker: Because you got two, you got those two scenes where Zeppelin kicks in. You got that right before. Fuck yeah. Yeah, at the beginning, and then when they have the big fight scene at the end, and as soon as Zeppelin kicks in, man, I've cracked that fucking cell bar. It sounded so bad ass. But number three on the list. Yeah. Number three on the list. Probably the youngest entry onto this.
Speaker: Top ten list being your friendly neighborhood spider -man Spidey good old Spidey coming in number three on a top ten and he put some heavy hitters to bed coming in at number three Yeah, I mean And you can't deny spider -man's popular all the spider -man played on screen I Am I'm 100 % behind Tom behind Tom Holland
Speaker: Oh, yeah, I love Holland. I think he's probably the best out of the three. But yeah, it's just it's not even it's not even the movie thing. Spider -Man in the comics is so incredibly popular and so loved. And I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that it is because. Yeah, but anybody could be Spider -Man because behind the mask, you know, you know, you got Miles Morales.
Speaker: You know, he could be white, black, Asian, you know, he could be purple underneath the mask. And that's where Spider -Man has his appeal. And I don't know about you, but I hate to jump on the train, but I'm kind of waiting for the new one to come out. Oh, no, I am. I'm 100 % waiting on it.
Speaker: Coming in number two every trailer that comes out, but I am I am interested Yeah, no, I mean I'm I'm ready for it to come out. I want to watch it. I can't wait to see it 17th, right? So apparently
Speaker: HBO Max in DC gave John Cena his own peacemaker show.
Speaker: Well, no, Peacemaker, the character he played in Suicide Squad. Oh, okay. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my god. Which that character was kind of - You're talking about eating a bag of dicks on the beach. Fucking cracked meat. Oh, I lost it. He cracked me up. That character that he played in Suicide Squad cracked me the hell up, so. Well, actually, I just watched Daddy's Home 2.
Speaker: Mark Wahlberg, Will Ferrell, John Cena, John Lithgow, and Mel Gibson. Holy shit. That movie's funny. And I'm not the biggest Will Ferrell fan because I do feel like he goes a little bit over the top. Yeah. Well, we got two more. Let's get this list wrapped up. We got two more. This is becoming the longest. This is becoming the second longest list in all history. But number two on the list.
Speaker: in that mirror is Superman. Yeah, that's my boy. If Superman spot on this list comes in as any sort of surprise, then stop reading it. Well, wait, don't stop reading. But
Speaker: but you should be asking yourself why it comes as a surprise. Superman is the definitive superhero and as such should be on every superheroes list that rank superheroes, period. He is the model that most artists and writers choose to model their creations after. Superman is more powerful than any. Listen to this, you fucking anime weirdos. Listen to these words that are gonna come out of my fucking mouth. Superman.
Speaker: is more powerful than any comic book character and has been around longer than anyone else. So I do you assholes that the Last Airbender or any of those ass clowns can take Superman? You're wrong! Okay. Superman would... decimate all. He would decimate all.
Speaker: But he would, he took, I changed that statement. He could decimate all, but he wouldn't because he's better than that. I wouldn't say that if you've seen him justicely because Joker killed Lois Lane and Superman decided to become the God that he is and killed everybody and everything that opposed him. And he ripped the heart from Joker's fucking chest while he was still alive.
Speaker: Did the whole fucking Indiana Jones thing. Yeah. And number one on the list. Superman's BFF. We were talking about him earlier. I am Batman. Yes. OK, here's a chase for indeed yourself. Superman, which is probably why he's not the only person, not the only person, because remember, Superman did did die. He was killed.
Speaker: yeah but that's that's judgment they killed it's like a technicality what's the one with technicality did you ever read them how do you think batman beat him that is true i just i literally as i said it i was like wait a minute
Speaker: You didn't even make it up that hill to die on. You died. You died. I looked like half way up it just stopped. You didn't even get half way up it. You got out of your car and looked at the hill and died. Jesus Christ. It's too far to climb. I'm done. Fucking. My neighbor's mom. Was your wife listening to a fucking mariachi video? No, my neighbor's mom.
Speaker: Her birthday is today as well. She's turning 70. So her son, who is my neighbor, hired a mariachi band. So enjoy, folks. Oh, crap. Yeah. And I literally thought about it today. I didn't think this would happen. But that's what I get for thinking. You need to, since you're making all this money now, you need to build you a studio in your backyard where you can go.
Speaker: is shut the door and lock yourself in there sit in the car yeah you can't sit in the car because then your drunk ass neighbors make you push their cars down the road yeah will that be no matter what i'm fucked yeah but uh anyways with that being said oh that reminds me speaking of that neighbor uh was confirmed part of the cartel
Speaker: think we already all knew that but now that it is Tuesday afternoon and that list took three days let's go let's go ahead and take our first break when we come back or well yeah when we come back we got what the fuck news
Speaker: Got a couple stories for you there, sir, that might be enjoyable. One sounds like something that you might end up in the hospital for, but courtesy of Cameron. Cameron sent me a news article. But as I said the other day, I was talking to you, Wednesday night, I have a new band for us to play on our breaks. These are actually friends of mine. They're from Tampa.
Speaker: Rich and Amanda and the name of their band is Sunshine and Bullets and I love these guys. They're awesome. Both of them are awesome and their music is killer. So I reached out to Rich and unfortunately they're on a little bit of a hiatus because they decided to start making babies but they are itching to get back in the studio and start getting some new music out and get back on the road again. Go ahead.
Speaker: With that being said, we're going to take a real quick break. Enjoy the sounds of sunshine and bullets, if you would. And we'll be back here in just a few minutes.
Speaker: Our colors just black and white We're constantly screaming and hopelessly dreaming That someone will come to erase the lines We'll end up in the rest We are the meaning of an every time
Speaker: You gotta stand up for yourself, you gotta fight!
Speaker: The reason that it needs you on the night, that's what we need. Open, thin lies, we cannot keep them all alive. Open, thin lies, there's no cause of fighting for you. Just let it get wild. And when you're silly screaming, hopelessly dreaming, and someone
Speaker: What the...
Speaker: You gotta stand up for yourself. You gotta fight. There's no reason why.
Speaker: Hopelessly dreaming that someone will save a life They'll end up paralyzed Can't see through all the lies Will all be sterilized No colors, just black and white
Speaker: Hello. My name is Sean Spencer. This is my partner, Bird into Hand and the Bush. My name is not Bird into Hand and the Bush. Will you kindly stop? Calm down, psych. I'm down. Bird to Hand and the Bush. Yeah, the new movie just came out. Oh, did it? I need to watch it. But as I said, that was
Speaker: Sunshine and bullets go ahead and check them out on YouTube and Spotify Like I said, hopefully before long they'll be back in the studio recording new music And back on the road again Dude you're gonna have to move inside or something because them silly ass Mexicans have no concept Any care about their fucking neighbors?
Speaker: Common courtesy because I don't know But go check out sunshine the bullets guys, I appreciate them let me use their music like I said Very good. So they used to be on my them and another band from down in Tampa murder the crow They were on my workout playlist
Speaker: when I was working out all the time. But when I went down to Tampa, I actually got to, I met Rich and his wife through Stan's show that he used to do, his podcast, in the chatter's box or their chat. And then when Rich and Amanda would come in and be live guests on the show and stuff like that. But when I went to Tampa, that was like the one, they were like two people that I wanted to go meet and I wanted to,
Speaker: see live and I got the opportunity and they could not have been any nicer. Rich and Amanda are actually married. Nice. They couldn't have been any nicer than what they were. They were awesome. I'm still here. I'm just moving. Actually, I believe I have one of their t -shirts in my closet.
Speaker: So we're going to start sprinkling their music in. Of course, Blacktop Mojo will do the closer. But we're going to start sprinkling their music in so we can have something a little different. I might reach out to Murder the Crow and see if Moby will let me use his music. He probably won't if he hears that I called him Moby. But the lead singer of Murder the Crow looks a little bit like Moby. Nice. And he hates when people say that.
Speaker: So we're trying to get a little bit of diversity in our music. So Rocky's working on some new music that he said once he has full songs done, he sent me a snippet of a new song that he's working on and it fucking kills. So once Rocky gets some completed songs, we'll be playing those as well. But anywho, anyway, welcome back to the show, guys. Welcome back to Nonsense School Nonsense. Still good, still Jeffrey and his fucking mariachi band.
Speaker: Just do it be a bad To your to your to your wife here. I'm the man of this house, but As we say all the times you guys are Yeah
Speaker: If you're not already, I don't know why you're not because this is 63 episodes in and if you're listening you should be following us on social media. God damn it So go check us out on a on Instagram Facebook Twitter and tick -tock and not sensical nonsense Join us live and hang out in the chatters box with this On Wednesdays and Saturday nights and Follow us on anchor Spotify Google Play Apple podcast anywhere and everywhere you get your little podcast
Speaker: little podcast fixings that and uh, give a listen to all the other episodes there. You know, we're trying to, we're trying to do some stuff here, man. We need you guys to help and support us. Let us know that you like what you hear. Yeah, definitely feel free to share us. Happy birthday, Jeff, from an anonymous Facebook user. I'm going to say, I think maybe that was Kevin, uh, because he did just like,
Speaker: our video on Facebook. So maybe that was Kevin. I'm not sure. Thank you. Just in case it wasn't Kevin. Yes. And I don't know why my Facebook feed is not, I don't, I don't understand Facebook at all. Well, that's cause they're switching over to the metaverse.
Speaker: Why fuck with a good thing is my question. Yeah, that was Kevin that said that. Yeah, well, because it's Facebook. And at the end of the day, it's all about putting another dollar and that fucking twat waffle. I'm not allowed to say twat on Facebook. Kept doggy dog. Stop giving yourself nicknames.
Speaker: Well cool Kev calm down You could not give yourself nicknames, but my Facebook works perfectly fine on this on my other phone Learning that fucking twat waffle. I'm not allowed to say You can report this dick in your mouth
Speaker: Short and curved. Short and curved to the left. I am speaking of social media. I am so pissed I did not buy Twitter stock about five days ago.
Speaker: Yeah, because because you're you're such the Fucking stock investment. I watch I watch the stock market like you watch football But you can yeah, but you do you have any money in the stock market? Do you have any investment invested time What?
Speaker: Then how, you should be rich as hell if you have three headers. No, no, no, no, no, no. I bought Apple. I should have bought Apple way earlier or way later. No, I cannot play that guitar. That is more of a, my wife bought it. And we both decided we were gonna learn how to play. We both decided we learned how to play and it literally became Walmart.
Speaker: Because we both have guitars that either one of us know how to play. Exactly. That's not true. I did learn how to play one song. I learned how to play Ode to Joy, but I can't remember how to play it. I had it down pat for like three weeks. Well, anyways, Jeffrey, you know what time it is. Let's do something new, man.
Speaker: You can't do news until the man tells us. I'm going to tell you a couple of stories. So listen to this. Listen to this. OK, listen.
Speaker: Juan's song. Jeff's got a fucking mariachi playing in his backyard right now. Yeah, that's why I'm in the house. That's why the background is very different. Your background was violently loud. Oh, Jesus. You know, as soon as I saw, they hung up a happy birthday sign outside their house, and I was like, I know that's not for me.
Speaker: I'm friends with that, but I'm not that good at fucking friends. And then 20 minutes later, there's two giant balloons that say 70. I'm like, well, that's definitely not me. I'm old. I'm old, but I'm not that old. Jesus Christ. Well, Jeffrey, while we were on break, did you go spring Bob out of maximum security?
Speaker: He's got nonsensical nonsense, one, two, and three. He's putting diesel in not so small nonsense too, as we speak. Well, we don't need, we don't need three tonight. Three can stay in the garage. The shuttle, the spaceship can stay in the garage. We're just going to need the bus and possibly the plane. So, I need a rock. This first tier story is going to take us on up to Poolsville, Maryland.
Speaker: Bring your jacket, it's cold. I just bought a new jacket too. Give us neighborhood mariachi band playing on your birthday. Well, it's for his neighbor's birthday. It's for her birthday. Oddly enough, I was literally worried by my wife. Oh, come on! That reminds me, I have to ask you, sir. On your birthday, do you like a big fuss?
Speaker: My birthday's never been a big plus. It's just another day. Exactly. I'm the same way. My wife asked me for your birthday. I said, I want to be ignored during the podcast. And I want to be good luck on not letting that happen. Yeah. Yeah. So she invited her friend over. But I did last year when I turned 40. You invite your friend over.
Speaker: She said, what do you want to do for your birthday? I said, nothing. I just, it's another fucking day. I don't care. I've never, I'm not. It's my birthday. I can do it. No, I'm not that bad. It's Saturday. That's all I know. Yeah. I'm glad your friend came over so that you weren't by yourself to watch her doing the podcast, but you think you can keep an eye on the goddamn kids. You know, the one who keeps coming over and putting his hand over top of my fucking camera.
Speaker: No, I have the laptop sitting on a chair sitting on a chair. Yeah. Well, I had like five years ago, we bought a kid size chair. And the idea was to use the stool.
Speaker: and it's literally become something to set everything on. I usually, when I was using my phone before for the podcast, I would literally have this chair sitting next to me as a place to set my drink and my ashtray. Now the laptop sits on it. But the little chair is sitting on walls.
Speaker: And the kids are sitting there bumping into it all night. I'm like, will you fucking quit? Yeah. Can you go anywhere that's not here? Right? Well, Bob's bitching that we're wasting fuel. He said, apparently you guys haven't seen the cost of fuel these days. So tell Jeff to shut the fuck up and let you do news. Don't call Joe Biden. He's a fucking tax credit. Go ahead. I don't think we get tax credits.
Speaker: We're the, we're the... never mind, I'm not gonna even get it. I was gonna say some horribly fucked up shit. Well, that's fair enough. By the way, a homeowner tries to smoke out snakes and burns his house down in Poole's New Maryland. What a dumb ass. Shouldn't have called Oregon.
Speaker: We don't do snakes in Oregon. Call a fucking wildlife expert. I don't think he's the one. He did alligators. You gotta call Billy the exterminator or whatever that guy is that has his own TV show.
Speaker: Billy the Exterminator or some shit, I don't know. He's some crazy fuck out of Florida. He wrestles alligators and everything else. He's a jackass. Yeah. He's another one of those reality shows that are as fake and scripted as you possibly can be. Right? Much like Snow Ice Truck Drivers and Lizardwick and Myth Busters and all that. Every reality show is so scripted for me.
Speaker: Yes. But, uh... If you look, you can see the barcode for the rental company. On the car as they tow! Yeah. Cracks me up every time. Sorry. Off track. What happened to you?
Speaker: Hey, how's it going? I'm just over here Pushing buttons don't mind me. Yeah, I was trying to um refresh Facebook on my phone and I accidentally hit the refresh button on my laptop. So I
Speaker: yes it is nothing. Everything just fucking refreshed. I am free to takeate. It's to takeate light. I have superior in the freezer. Oh, I gotta get some out. Alright, you know what? Go ahead. If you're watching on Facebook and you'd like to comment, then come to HAPS. Download HAPS and follow us on HAPS because Facebook is pissing me off to no end. Um, but anyways, goddamn chips, let me get fucking
Speaker: Yeah, go ahead. Through something here. Camp Takape fucking rules, dude. Oh, I got another one. A Maryland home was accidentally burned to the ground by an owner trying to get rid of a snake infestation, officials said. A homeowner in Poolsville, a town about 25 miles outside of D .C., was attempting to use smoke to purge snakes from the house, according to Montgomery County Fire Department. In the process, the homeowner caught the house on fire.
Speaker: sure, uh, causing about $1 million in damage. Holy shit. The fire broke out around 10 PM on the 23rd official said, Pete, uh, pie ringer, a spokesman for the county fire department said on Twitter that 75 firefighters were called out to put the blaze that started it, put out the blaze that started in the basement.
Speaker: Pyringar said the fire caused by placing coals too close to a combustible material was accidental and that no people were hurt, but he said the well -being of the snakes is undetermined. Fuck them snakes, they should be dead.
Speaker: Yeah, so I mean, I guess he was just trying to... How do you... How does your house get infested by snakes? Well, with snakes. Ants, I get. Roaches, I get. Snakes? Dan, you got it. Like, at what point do you go...
Speaker: Look, I've seen way too many snakes in the house. I mean, because the first time I see a snake in my house, I'm like, I'm going to try to figure out where that guy got in at or where he's coming from. But then I see two snakes or three snakes. And it's like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. It's time to call somebody who knows what the hell they're doing. I don't let it get to that. We have we have geckos.
Speaker: These little bit of inch long geckos. Yeah. We used to have little geckos and salamanders. I was like, get the fuck out of my house. We used to have like little geckos or salamanders or these little lizards down in Charleston. And of course, tree frogs, man. We had tree frogs for days down there, boy. Right. But, um, but, uh, you know,
Speaker: How do you yeah, how do you how do you let your house get it festered by snakes Well, that was my other question at what point
Speaker: because I think of a insect. Well, like cockroaches, for instance, you know, if I'm seeing, if I go turn my lights on in my, in my kitchen and on a regular basis, I'm seeing four or five cockroaches. I've got a problem. Well, apparently I've also seen, there's like 12 you don't. Yeah. Yeah. But I've also got into houses where there's like,
Speaker: 9 ,000 cockroaches, they're doing the dishes, they're vacuuming the floor, they're doing, you know, they're remodeling the bathroom, and people have gone, yeah, we really don't have that big of a problem. You ever see that movie? Welcome to Joseph Fraser? Yeah. Holy fuck, I love that movie. With Braden Fraser? It's not Braden Fraser, it's - I thought it was Braden Fraser. No, it's not Braden Fraser, it's, uh, uh, fuck me, what's his name? Uh,
Speaker: He played Teen Wolf 2. Oh, no, the other guy. The other, uh, the other Brandon Frazier. Jerry O 'Connell. Jerry O 'Connell, thank you. Yeah, Brandon Frazier 2 .0. Jerry O 'Connell. I love that fucking movie. My wife and I - Teen Wolf 2? Isn't that Jerry O 'Connell? Was it Teen Wolf? No, I don't think that's Jerry O 'Connell, though.
Speaker: No. Who's since he was two? I don't know, I don't care. You know who he's married to? You know who his wife is? Jason Bateman. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know who the other other, Brandon Frazier. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: You know who Jerry O 'Connell is married to? The Nick Cage of the 90s. Jerry O 'Connell, who's he married to? Isn't it Jenny McCarthy? No, Jenny McCarthy is married to one of the Wahlbergs. Mark Wahlberg, Donnie Wahlberg, I think. I don't know. No, Jerry O 'Connell was married to Rebecca Romaine Stamos. Well, formally Stamos. Yeah, they've been together forever.
Speaker: Mystique, if you will, from X -Men. Yeah. Well, on to other news. I don't know where this is coming from. Trying to see. Cameron sent this to me. So I don't know where this is. We'll just drive around on the bus.
Speaker: Click the comment section is in the way of your face. And with the light in the way of my screen, it looked like you're bald. What the hell are you talking about? Oh, on your screen. The moon. But it said, yeah, it's right there. There you go. Well, I get yelled at with my hats forward because nobody can see my beard, my fantastic beard.
Speaker: This is a story Cameron sent me the other day. What? Okay, fair enough. But this is a story Cameron sent me that I fear one day I'm going to get a message that you've done something along these lines.
Speaker: maybe not necessarily that you know that you are going to do not necessarily with the same object but some kind of foreign object I feel like this is something that you're going to do one day I don't know about it well we're going to the UK fire up nonsensical nonsense number one Bob we're going to the UK excellent the title of this article is called bum squad
Speaker: The, uh, yeah. The bomb squad, the bomb squad raced to A &E after patient arrives with World War II artillery shells stuck in his ass. Up his asshole. Wow. Army explosive experts were scrambled after medics feared that an anti -tank round could be about to explode.
Speaker: The unknown patient told doctors, listen to what this patient said. This is what he told the doctors. The unknown patient told doctors he slipped and fell on the 17 centimeter by six centimeter armor piercing projectile taken from his private arsenal of military collectibles. He slipped
Speaker: And fell on it. That's a good slip at what? Why are you naked? Why are you naked in your arsenal? But, you know, a buddy of mine that I went to high school with, he told me his dad was a surgeon. And apparently a lot of people fall on things.
Speaker: Apparently it's a very common theme when it comes to things stuck up people's asses. I felt it's an epidemic, my friend. Yeah, it's pandemic. Well, I would get that far. But anyways, it was, uh, it was later identified as being a World War II 57 milliliter shell that were typically fired from six pounder, six pounder anti tank guns.
Speaker: sources told the Sun that the guy said he found the shell when he was having a clear out of his stuff he said he put it on the floor and then slipped and fell on it and it went up his horse 55 millimeters 2 .1 inches around or long no well it's a 55 millimeter so I'm thinking thickness from one side to the other from less it says that it already said that it was
Speaker: It was 16, it was 17 centimeters by six centimeters. It was a 57 millimeter round. Like it was a, that was the round was a 57 millimeter. So I would assume like that was like 17 by six. Uh, he said he was in considerable amount of pain. I think he collected military momentum.
Speaker: memorabilia. Police said that they responded to a report that a patient had presented a munition or was presented with munitions in his rectum. The spokesman added the item and the item had been removed prior to police arrival and that the army explosive ordinance disposal team was contacted troops troops from 11 explosive ordinance disposal regiment rushed to the uh
Speaker: So to the Royal Hospital, six inches long, two and a half inches wide. Not a small round. It's not your finger. Yeah, a defense source said it was a solid shot round. It was a chunky pointed lump of lead designed to rip through a tank's armor.
Speaker: It was basically an inner lump of metal, so there was no risk of life, at least not to anyone else's. The sun doctor, Carol Cooper said the patient could have died if the round had pierced his gut. She added the range of objects that are pushed into rectums is incredible. From wine glasses, why anybody would put a wine glass up their ass,
Speaker: is beyond me because those things are incredibly fragile. Right? It does not take much to break a wine glass. No, it does not. And how loose is your asshole? How loose is your asshole that you could just slide a wine glass up your ass without it breaking? There's no small end of a wine glass. No, absolutely not. Not only that, but like I said, they're so fragile. So, you know, the,
Speaker: the amount of force that I would think it would take to shove a... A good sneeze would break that, motherfucker. Yeah. But for wine glasses to catch up bottles and parts of Hoover vacuum cleaners. Every time I go tell you that the bottle of it will include in my bedroom. I'm down, Doofy. You didn't know you were in the butt stuff. You know what?
Speaker: This reminds me of a quick story. As I stated before, I used to really dive deep into Kevin Smith's podcast. And he mentioned a website. And like an idiot, I went ahead and I was like, this I gotta see. And it's called GlassAss .com. Here's one video.
Speaker: Where a guy takes a pickle jar and sits on it. And then the jar breaks. Oh. Wait, did he sit on it? Did he sit on it or did he shove it up his ass? Oh, he sat on it. So, as I'm saying... And it disappeared.
Speaker: Okay. That's what I said. Did he shove it up his ass? And then it broke? And I kid you not, it breaks. And as calmly as I'm talking to you now, he reaches up his ass and starts pulling out chunks of glass. Yeah, I do. And it was horrifying. It is one of those videos that if anybody decides to go look at said video, you cannot unsee it.
Speaker: Yeah. Much like the video from MrHappyHands .com. That video haunts me to this day. Oh, let me take a read some of this real quick. It is horrified.
Speaker: Well, speaking of a friend that his dad was a surgeon, he told me a story once that his dad told him that a 20 -year -old kid was brought into the emergency room with a shower curtain rod.
Speaker: One of the ones that they expand, you twist it to lock it in, was stuck up a kid's ass. This guy was like 20, 22, something like that, and was stuck up his ass. Yeah, it happens. But Carol went on to say, sadly, it is an everyday occurrence in A &E, which I guess is their hospital, whatever.
Speaker: But I have never heard of the bomb squad being called out before. A hospital spokesman yesterday said, as with any incident involving munitions, the relevant safety protocols were followed to ensure that there was no risk to patient staff visitors at any time. The MOD said, we can confirm an army explosive ordnance disposal team was called out at the request of local police. The sheepish patient is understood to have been released from the hospital and
Speaker: Expected to make a fuel full recovery and they just so happen to have a picture of What the route what the what the round look like so I got a screenshot of it I will post it on the Facebook leader Looks like a like a small rocket I don't know about how
Speaker: Well, you know, it's got fins on the end, right? Almost like something you would shoot out of a rocket rocket. Yeah. Yeah. It pretty much is what it is. Yeah. What kind of idiot thinks this is a good idea?
Speaker: Well, as he said, he slipped and fell. I'm just so happy to be playing with a borjar and peanut butter. I don't know how you slip and fall and
Speaker: Right in the old poop shoot. Yeah. As I said, this happens more often than not. Because I've taken some falls, I've fallen on things and whatnot, and I've never had anything I've fallen on. Tear through my jeans, go through my boxers, and shoot straight up my ass. I fell off a roof once. Now granted, it was only two stories.
Speaker: Yeah. Well, I was on the first floor. And I fell off a roof once, and a piece of rebar was stuck into the ground. And it missed me by maybe two inches. But it was still next to my side. It wasn't anywhere remotely near my ass. I mean, that's some
Speaker: uh what's it called um Darwinian look yes that's that's uh it's Darwinian bad luck it's something well let's go you know the funny thing is is like if you actually did fall and on something and then actually went up your ass
Speaker: What would believe you? You're like, sure, if you fell on it, you fell on that whatever and went up your ass. Sure you did. Yeah, exactly. Well, let's move away from people shoving things up their asses and needing doctors to remove them. Right.
Speaker: Doctors removing things that they shouldn't have moved. Ah, I've heard stories of these. So Bob, fire up the jet. We're going to Austria. Austria. Isn't that where Schwarzenegger's from? Uh, no. Yes. Yes. Yes, Schwarzenegger's from Austria. Yeah. Well, a surgeon has been fined more than 2 ,000 pounds after amputating the wrong leg from one of their patients.
Speaker: A tribunal in Austria heard that the doctor had marked the wrong leg of the 82 year old patient, which the defendant claimed was a result of systematic or a systematic problem rather than human error. The defendant said that errors in surgical planning had taken place because no page information was given in the patient file, which is why the review was not possible.
Speaker: The court also awarded 5 ,000 pounds in damages to the widow of the patient who passed away before the case could be heard. Well, he was 82 fucking years old. Yeah. The horrific mistake was only discovered a couple of days later during a routine bandage change when shocked nurses found what had happened. The surgeon involved has since been removed or has since been moved to another clinic
Speaker: and has a chance to appeal the verdict. So here's the thing that kind of baffles me in this story. You are taken into surgery as a patient now. I don't know how many times you've had surgery or how many times you've been with somebody who's had surgery, but typically when you go into the hospital for whatever reason, they have a chart and it has your name and all your information and all your ailments and everything like that on it. Can I ask you 40 times what you're allergic to? Yes. So they have all that stuff.
Speaker: So when you go into surgery, if you're having surgery, that surgeon has said, given said chart. And on that chart, it has all your information. So like myself, personally, I had to have ear surgery several years back. And on my chart, because I see my chart, it said, right ear, this is a surgery, blah, blah, blah. So this hospital, they don't have those types of charts, apparently, according to that article. So you're just wheeling somebody into surgery and it's like,
Speaker: So I'm just flipping a quarter here to decide which leg I'm taking. There was no chart to review. There was no chart. Why don't you stop right there and go, hold on a second. It's one of those moments where you're like, hey, maybe I should ask you a question. Yeah.
Speaker: I mean, they say there's no such thing as dumb a question. Stop what you're doing. Stop what you're doing and ask, hey, this chart doesn't say. It's fine or sued.
Speaker: He was fined 2 ,000 pounds from like the hospital, whatever. But then he was also ordered to pay 5 ,000 pounds in damages to the widow of the man whose leg got cut off. 2 ,000 pounds converted to US dollars is 2 ,646 bucks. That's not very much. As a surgeon, you're like, so basically what if they pay for parking for a year?
Speaker: Well, I mean, they might, they probably get paid differently over there. So, you know, that is true. I didn't think of that. Yeah. It's not like a surgeon over here who, who, who, who's living high on the hall. You know, how much does a certain, how much, how about this thing is always still going on, baby. How was your movie? How much does a surgeon make in Mexico?
Speaker: I have no fucking clue. I know I can go to Mexico and have plastic surgery for $1 .50. So I can't imagine they're getting that much. It's only been two hours. Calm down.
Speaker: My wife did the math on getting a lipo on her baby fat from having two kids. And it came out to 10 grand, including everything. Like hospital stay, the whole fuckin' nine anesthesiologists, the whole fuckin' nine -year -olds out the fuckin' door.
Speaker: And I know in the States, you're looking for the same amount. You're probably looking at 25, 30 grand. I have no idea about any plastic surgery. I'm sure it's more than double what she paid down there. I guarantee it. Because there's such a thing down here as vacational. I can't remember what it's called. It's basically you
Speaker: They come down to Mexico for a week, get your certainty done, recover, and then fly fucking home. I can't remember what it's called. I'm looking at it. Just a rough idea if I can get here. Why are you looking at that? I have fried chicken. I'm trying to look up just a rough idea for a boob job like breast implants.
Speaker: Of course I'm not going to be able to find it because it's going to give me actual doctor's offices. Okay. So typically anywhere from five to 10 grand for a boob job. So I wonder how much Juan, Juan probably did pay for it. Jeff didn't pay for it with his broke ass. That's actually not too bad. I thought boob jobs were more expensive than that. Huh?
Speaker: But I got a story when Jeff comes back. Nice. Did you guys watch the original one? About beards and health. But yeah, I imagine that any plastic surgeon, even if you go to a reputable,
Speaker: a plastic surgeon in Mexico is still gonna be like half the cost of what you would pay up here. And Alabama beat Georgia, not in the actual fuck. Georgia looked like ass today, which I guess could be a good thing if Michigan wins this game tonight. Okay, I'm back. I'm gonna move back outside because I think Mary actually said left.
Speaker: Okay, so how much how much how much is I heard the one Throwing a fit up there. Yeah, how much how much is a boob job down there to get like breast implants? Do you know I don't know I don't I've never had one I know I know it's not not expensive. I had a friend of mine. She had hers done This is like 14 years ago
Speaker: She had it done for less, maybe 10 grand, something like that, 10, 15 grand tops. And that's including anesthesiologists out the door, ready rock, fully covered. Well, I find that hard to believe that it was that much, because in the States, it's anywhere between 5 and 10 grand. OK.
Speaker: It's probably closer to a dollar. Yeah, like six bucks. Yeah. Oh. Because I hear people all the time say they go to Mexico or whatever to get plastic surgery. Oh, no. It's stupid cheap. I know it's stupid cheap. My wife might know. Hey, babe! Mama! Does she have a good jump? No, but she's talking about getting a lift.
Speaker: Honey! Alex, can you hear me? She's yelling at the kids. Yeah. Don't worry about paying bills or anything. Just make sure you get all this dumb plastic surgery. She's got to make sure she looks good for her. Hey, how much is the boob lock job cost down here? Frenchy and one. $80 ,000. $80 ,000? So like $4 ,000 out the door. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, four or five grand out the door. Just got to get all this suspicion to look good for Juan and Frenchie. But yeah. This fish is just going to look like a Mexican Nicki Minaj. Gross and plastic. As I've stated multiple times, if I wanted plastic, I'd go buy me a bromidol and call it a day.
Speaker: You could get you a sex doll. Oh, apparently. Yeah, she'd be a whole hell of a lot quieter. Amen to that. She wouldn't bitch as much. So call it five grand out the door. Yeah. US. Well, Jeff, I got another story here for you. OK. I'm ready. Kind of.
Speaker: that kind of throws your doctor's explanation of, or not explanation, but your doctor telling you to shave your beard off because of COVID. Kind of blows that theory out of the water. Because a doctor claims that beards have several health benefits. Really? Yeah, a doctor's claim that...
Speaker: My brother -in -law literally just shook the beer he's handing me, asshole. Well, tell him to give it back to him and tell him to give you another one. Hey, let me know what's up. And you shake it up and I'll drown you. Punch him in the dick if he shakes it up. Make him get on camera and punch him in his dick. On the one episode, we go viral for it. Put that back on the fridge in the back.
Speaker: A doctor has claimed that growing a beard can be good for a person's health. Dr. Karen, we're just going to call her Dr. Karen because she's got a really long last name. But her first name is Karen. So Dr. Karen, a NHS surgical doctor and lecturer
Speaker: at the Sunderland University explain that facial fuzz can be good as it protects against bacteria. Let me read that again. A beard is good, Jeffrey, because it protects against bacteria. There you go. Bacteria.
Speaker: Don't get me started on the whole Omicron. Have you heard the latest news on this Omicron thing? This variant? In a video posted on his account, Dr. R said, a study comparing hospital workers with and without beards found that clean -shaven faces were three times more likely to carry MRSA. Is that MRSA?
Speaker: I guess. This may be because shaving creates micro abrasions, which are perfect breeding grounds for these BACTERIOUS! No, but I mean, every time you have that people that shave in the morning, they constantly cut themselves an old razor. Well, that's what he said. Micro abrasions. I mean, you're opening up the skin whether you see it or not.
Speaker: So the medic added that beards can also reduce the risk of skin cancer in unshaven areas. He explained that beard might reduce the risk of sunburn, skin cancer on bearded areas.
Speaker: And now Summer's going to use this excuse not to ever shave her legs again. I was going to say, that mane on that unicorn's getting longer and longer as we speak. You should have seen the pictures she sent me the other night of her legs. Whoo, buddy. She might have more leg hair than I do. Ooh.
Speaker: I can't say that out here, but my wife, the other day, she's like, I had shaving aches. I'm like, yeah, you do. She said she was doing no shave, no shave, no shave till January, not no shave February or November. She was doing no shave till January or December, the end of December. But there's evidence that having facial hair reduces UV light exposure by the third compared to clean shaven faces.
Speaker: Although facial hair can lower the risk of cancers like melanoma, you shouldn't ditch the sunscreen. So - Okay, that brings up a very important question. How often has someone that, well, that technically works outside a lot, how often do you use sunscreen? I can help five times in my fucking life. And it's usually me being held down by a significant other saying put on fucking sunscreen.
Speaker: Mm -hmm. No, I well I like if Well, you burn If they're going to like the pool or something or the beach or something like that We'll be out there I might spray a little bit on one time like when we first get there But I don't do it one, you know, I only do it one time now would definitely 100 % make sure that the
Speaker: The kids have it on, obviously, but... Oddly enough, I'm the same way. The funny thing, I dated a girl... early on when he'd be in Mexico, so this is like 19, 18, 20 years ago, something like that. This woman would literally put on the equivalent of cooking oil
Speaker: I kid you not. I was like, what is that? She's like, it's basically cooking oil. I want a nice golden crisp. And I'm like, yeah, you're going to die of cancer. Yeah, fair enough. Crazy lady. Enjoy that. Yeah. I only care for a week and a half. But the point is, she literally put cooking oil on. I think it was canola oil, which is cooking oil.
Speaker: But I can count on one hand how many times I've actually used or bought suntan or suntan sunscreen. I mean, I bought it for the kids, but nothing too crazy outside of that. But I got one more story for you. Excellent. And news.
Speaker: Now we've been talking a lot about doctors, a lot about stuff tonight. Now we're going to take a hard right and venture into the land of conspiracy theories. Oh, I love these. Not a good, not your type of conspiracy theory, a fun one that I enjoy because I actually look forward to this happening so that I can do my thing. Okay.
Speaker: Humanity could be destroyed by Terminator -style AI weapons. Nice! I'm ready. I'm about to John Connor this bitch. John Connor this motherfucker. Let's go. Call me Will Smith and... Let's do this bitch. I'm ready. Call me Will Smith and AI. I'm fucking all you robots. Or iRobot, whatever that movie was. I've seen Terminator 2 like 500 ,000 times. I'm ready for this shit.
Speaker: Yeah. That movie was the shit back in the day. A computer expert, Professor Stuart Russell believes that Terminator style weapons could wipe out humanity. Humanity faces being wiped out by Terminator style smart weapons, experts have warned. Computer Boffin, Professor Stuart Russell believes the risk posed by artificial intelligent machines is so great that he wants them banned.
Speaker: Russell from the University of California said a lethal AI -powered quadcopter could be as small as a tin of shoe polish. About three grams of explosives are enough to kill a person at close range. A container can hold a million lethal weapons
Speaker: and they can all be sent to do their work at once. Russell has previously said that a little bit of fear about the future of technology is appropriate and believes the concern should be at a similar level to the worries about climate change. He shared, I think a little bit of fear is appropriate, not fear when you get up tomorrow morning.
Speaker: and think my laptop is going to murder me or something, but thinking about the future, I would say the same kind of fear we have about climate change or about climate, or rather, we should have about the climate. So, good old Stuart over here is full on. He's driving the truck that's heading us over the cliff. It is Jeff's birthday. Pops. It is.
Speaker: I'm officially old. You have been officially old. What are you talking about? But yeah, so this guy is worried that a whole bunch of AI controlled drones the size of shoe polish is going to wipe us all out. That's not too far fetched either because
Speaker: I don't know. I'm officially old. What did? My son wants a drone. So bad. Uh -huh. So I started looking at some online. What? And they have these small little bitty drones that are about the size of your hand. Where you hurt yourself or break something. And they could carry fucking a shoe polish that we do.
Speaker: Come here a second. Hold on a second Jeff. Cash is standing in my doorway. Holding my nunchucks. And I said, what are you doing? Who are you? What's his name? Michael. Michael?
Speaker: Michael Leo Donatello Joe He knows who they are he just can't pronounce he knows who they are he just can't pronounce his his name Michael Michael Angelo, buddy He combined he combined Yeah, no, he knew exactly who it was. He said I'm the orange the orange ninja turtle and but he combined
Speaker: Michael Angelo, Leonardo, Donatello, all into one name. Michael Leo Donatello. Raph was my guy. I can see that. I could have called that. We are kindred spirits. Yeah. I can get down with Raph.
Speaker: Angry and pissed off at the world for no reason. Looking for an excuse to punch somebody in the face. Fuck around and find out. What did you say to me? The definition of fuck around and find out. Are you breathing in my direction?
Speaker: Like Michael Jackson said, you want to be starting something? Yeah, you know that song. Tell me you know that song. I don't. I can't say I have. I do. I've never been a fan. I've never been a fan. I've always been like, fuck Michael Jackson.
Speaker: since like five. My mom, we were in the car one day. Show us all the doll where Michael Jackson touched you. No, in 1986, my parents bought their first brand new vehicle. They've got a 1986 Astro minivan. Right here, right here. Lots of windows. Oh, good. It's an ad. Keep talking. They bought a brand new. What? 1986 Astro minivan. You know this van. You've ridden in it.
Speaker: That was the one that you had in high school, right? Yes, it is. I love that fucking thing. Right here. Listen. You've never heard that? Oh, I've heard it. Yeah. Calm down, Facebook. Before you cancel us. Yeah. In 1986, my parents bought the 1986
Speaker: Chevy Astro Man. I love that fucking man. It was fucking badass. You sure in 1986 that your parents didn't buy a brand new 1985? No, it was in 86. It was 86 because I drove that fucking van. I drove the wheels off that fucking van. I literally had to replace the rear tires on that fucking thing four times. Yeah, I know that van better than anyone. Pop said, happy birthday. Thank you.
Speaker: And I remember at like seven, eight years old, the Jackson Five came on the radio. And my mom turned around and said, you know that's Michael Jackson? And I was like, I don't give a fuck. I've never been a fan. For no reason whatsoever, I was just like, yeah, I don't care. You just don't know, man.
Speaker: I've never, I, my kids listen to him and I'm like, ah. You're probably one of those assholes who'd think Prince is better than Michael Jackson. Easily. Are you fucking smoking crack? Nope. Chester Fields.
Speaker: No. Well, with that being said... I was always a huge fan of Elvis. I love Elvis. Yeah, I like Elvis. But with that being said, in the end of news, coming to a conclusion, I got a fried chicken. So let's take a real quick break. Yeah. Got some more sunshine and bullets for you guys here. Hell yeah. I think this is a good... Actually, I know this is a good one.
Speaker: So, give us just a couple minutes and we'll be right back. Excuse me while I fuck everything up here. What else is new? Just button mashing my asshole. Oh no, I can't get out. Oh, come on.
Speaker: That one let me let me skip after five seconds, but we're gonna take a real quick break guys
Speaker: We'll be right back. Like I said, enjoy a little bit of a new band tonight. Sunshine and Bullets. Go ahead and look them up on YouTube and Spotify and check them out. Give them a listen. And you can tell them nonsensical nonsense, essentially, but they won't know what that is. But just tell them Glick sent you. You know, they know who Glick is. They don't know anything about the podcast.
Speaker: They just gave us permission to do whatever you want with it. No, I'm friends with them. I'm friends in real life with them. We'll be right back here in just a few minutes, guys. So again, enjoy some sunshine and bullets. We'll see you in just a minute.
Speaker: I think we're losing control
Speaker: Is this not what you want? Is that you're wonderful?
Speaker: You want us anyway She has to live with knowing that We're running in the credit cards This is not a control We will never know Simply bury the ones
Speaker: Will we raise our white flags and fear that this could be the end? You wanted to hold us down
Speaker: We signed this act, it's not okay. You wanted to keep us there. You see what I'm doing? It's what you're asking!
Speaker: Is this not what you want? Is this what you want?
Speaker: aww yeah welcome back welcome back advertising on youtube helps me reach out to subscribers like china fucking youtube welcome back welcome back as i said that's uh sunshiner bullets go ahead and check them out they're uh killer band i'm here rich and amandar both so rich and amandar both stupid talented so check them out give them some love
Speaker: Why are you giving them some love? Make sure you guys show us some love. Go give us a follow. Go give us a like, share, whatever. Make sure you definitely share. Share with your friends. Tell your friends about it. Don't be ashamed. Don't be ashamed to like our podcast. Don't be a closeted nonsensical nonsense fan. You come out of that closet and you let the world know. Yes.
Speaker: And you can do that by following us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok, and joining us live on Wednesdays and Saturday nights on HAPS and YouTube and Twitch, Facebook and Twitter, and by listening to every episode on Anchor Spotify, Google Play, Apple Podcasts, basically anywhere and everywhere you get your little podcast fixings from.
Speaker: Basically just Google it, that shit. Ask Siri, ask Alexa, ask Google, ask your mama. It don't matter. Find it, listen to it, love it, like it, share it, follow it, and give Jeff the old double thumbing. And then, after you get under all that, if you want to email us.
Speaker: Why don't you do the whole, why don't you do the, yeah see that's what you get asshole. That's what you get. Now, do the whole spiel. Do the whole spiel. Do the whole spiel. Do the whole spiel. Do the whole spiel. Do the whole spiel. Do the whole spiel. Do the whole spiel. Do the whole spiel. Do the whole spiel. Do the whole spiel. Do the whole spiel. Do the whole spiel. Do the whole spiel. Do the whole spiel. Do the whole spiel. Do the whole spiel. Do the whole spiel. Do the whole spiel. Do the whole spiel. Do the whole spiel. Do the whole spiel. Do the whole spiel. Do the whole spiel. Do the whole spiel. Do the whole spiel. Do the whole spiel. Do the whole spiel. Do the whole spiel. Do the whole spiel. Do the whole spiel. Do the whole spiel.
Speaker: scooter. Yeah. Yeah. Go to, go to, go send us emails at our email account and like us and, and, and follow us, follow our email account according to Joe. Yeah. No, the problem is not only are you drinking, you won't have to get my spiel out because you can't go more than three and a half seconds without talking to you. You're just like, Oh my God. I, I, I literally, uh, you choked on our email like it was a dick.
Speaker: I got called out. Touchdown, Michigan! I got called out on Monday. Every Monday we have a meeting at work. It's a Zoom meeting. And I got called out to not dominate the meeting. I said, look, I'm part of a podcast. Being on camera and being able to have a microphone on my face, it's over. You guys ain't got nothing to say.
Speaker: Why didn't you just say that I'm used to being told to shut the fuck up? Yeah, I said, you guys are going to hurt me. No, but what's funny is they went around to everybody to see if any questions or anything like that. They got to me and I was like, no. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? And that's my buddy Sean, who's a Michigan fan. They got to me in the meeting on Monday and I was like, I'm good.
Speaker: I have nothing to say to you assholes. I will not speak ever again. I am muting my mic. Fuck you and have a fantastic day. My boss is like, really? You messaged me 400 times a day. And I said, will you answer all my questions? I have nothing to say. Fuck you and have the day you deserve, assholes.
Speaker: I can't imagine anybody ever telling you to just shut the hell up. I actually had a client call me asking questions and saying, I need more information. I was like, well, sit back and relax, because we're going to talk. Yeah, well. And he's actually bringing me references, as you speak.
Speaker: Well, I have the option of companies that haven't filed yet, I can broker the deal. And if I broker the deal, I get two points on the set, on whatever they've got coming back. And the smallest company we have,
Speaker: right now is like $110 ,000 coming back. And I don't know if it would take 15%. So two points on that. So I break my heart. Hmm. Yeah. Fair enough. I just closed the guy Friday for $3 .8 million. Nice.
Speaker: He's getting back and he was happy as a pig at shit This is why I like my job I've done call centers in the past where you call me cold call people They have no I was like I call you you have no idea who the fuck I am or the company I work for or whatever and I'm trying to walk in 10 minutes to come down to Cancun To do a timeshare practice presentation that job will make you put a gun barrel in your fucking mouth by the end well, I mean basically
Speaker: You are kind of doing cold calls to these companies, are these companies expecting your phone call? Oh, of course. I'm the fourth person they've talked to. I'm the fourth person they've talked to. By the time they get me on the phone, they're happy as a pig and shit because I'm like, I'm literally calling them saying, I'm here to give you money from the IRS, non -taxable,
Speaker: returns from the IRS as low as $70 ,000 depending on the size of your business. Well, instead of calling one of them, you should call me and I will pretend to
Speaker: Be said company and I will give you my banking information and then you can send me that money. Unfortunately, it's not me giving you the money. It's the IRS. That's okay. They don't know nothing. We'll split it. However, you sir have to file a 941, correct? What the fuck are you talking about? You're running the door dash, right?
Speaker: It's 1099. Same difference. 1099 and 941 is basically the same thing. Technically, yeah, Jeff. The difference between the 941 and 1099 is you're not your own company. You are a private entity working for another company. But it's still 1099.
Speaker: Yeah, 1099 is... Technically, yes. To answer your question, technically, yes, I am supposed to fill one up. But, we don't believe in technicalities around there. They get enough of my money. And they've screwed me the last... They've screwed me the last three fucking years and they've gotten way more than their fair share. I'm going to give the old to the IRS this year.
Speaker: now that we've both discussed our plans to fuck over the IRS on our podcast that is out there for the world to hear. Now I'm just, I don't, I don't, I'm just going to send all my information to, um, to a summer's guy, summer's accountant and just let him take care of it. But I mean the cool thing, if you got, if you got somebody, you, if you don't have somebody like you have summer's guy, that's great. My cousin is actually a CPA. Yeah. Yeah. Like I said, at the end of the day, I'm sending everything to him.
Speaker: But the cool thing now that I am doing, that I am doing DoorDash, yes. Gas, oil changes, stuff like that for the car, I can write off. So I will be saving all my receipts and then DoorDash will send me my information and at the end of the, and then I'll just send that all over to him with everything else and he can sort out whatever he needs to sort out.
Speaker: Yeah. Well, actually, I've actually had that conversation with my cousin. He's doing my taxes this year because I haven't done taxes in 20 years because I haven't lived in the States in 20 years.
Speaker: And technically, I'm way below the poverty line in the states, so I don't have to file. But I told him, I said, look, I'm making all this money. I need to file this year. And he's like, all right, send me all the info. I'm like, all right, have fun. So I spent $20 ,000 on a laptop. Right.
Speaker: Cause that's believable. Yeah. Well, he, he basically told me, he said, so I used the laptop for work. It's a write off. Yeah. So I said, it was 50, $80 ,000 easy. Uh, on a totally different subject in a side note, shout out to our Twitter followers.
Speaker: Twitter But shout out to our Twitter followers because they are retweeting our live show currently as we speak and they have done So shout out shout out Twitter you guys you guys are kicking ass I'm telling you what man Because it's the one the one episode that we're basically saying we're gonna fuck over the IRS Well
Speaker: I'm telling you, man, you got to get on Twitter because, hey, not only is Twitter a great free promotional site or, you know, social media site, but there is an absolute solid group of people in the podcast community or streaming community. I have been seeing the posts because as, you know, it all goes to nonsense, but nonsensepodcast .com. I literally get 400
Speaker: Messages a day And by fucking phone so I see it twice And we happen to be in that list a lot of the time So hasn't so like I said, you know, I gotta get better about being on Twitter but you should get on there man, and like I said is it's the
Speaker: the free and it's probably the best promotional social media site out there. And not only that, but the community that we're in is a fantastic community, man. People get behind each other, they support each other. It's really cool. And I've actually started listening to several different podcasts just off of there. Right, I have two. I have two. Well, I'd like to talk to you. However, we do need to,
Speaker: We both need to start getting on Rumble, which is basically the new Twitter. I've never even heard of Rumble. Is this Donald Trump thing? No, it's actually not. It's basically Twitter that is uncensored. Have you never been on fucking Twitter? No, no, no, no. But you can still get blocked on Twitter.
Speaker: Twitter is the goddamn Wild West, dude. No, no, no, no, no. Say that to Donald Trump because he can't post on Twitter. The Rumble is basically Twitter without the censorship. They won't censor anybody unless it's... The only thing I have on Rumble is something about upload and follow your favorite video channels. They just went public two days ago, which means you can buy stock.
Speaker: go buy stock mister stock investor fucking wolf of wall street but um no the twitter twitter is the absolute wild west donald trump got got got banned on air because it was the thing to do and it had twitter not done it then they would have been they he said ten hours later it's not ten hours later i think it meant three
Speaker: Am I on a time schedule here? What's going on? Since when have we been on a schedule? At the end of the day, Trump brought all that shit on himself, being banned. I'm not going to dive into this wormhole with you. I'm just going to say at the end of the day, love him or hate him, he brought it on himself.
Speaker: Well, yeah, I will agree. He should have, uh, there are times when you should just kind of sit back and relax. And there is no, there is no more of a position in the world as a public figure for you to have a spotlight on you 24 seven, 365 days a year than being a president of the United States. Right.
Speaker: But that goes to show you that Twitter has way too much control over what they could do considering they were able to block the President of the United States. I think at the end of the day if they really wanted to get him unblocked he would have been unblocked in like five minutes. Of course.
Speaker: But no, that's just, that just goes to show how much power social media has in our world today. Speaking of people that should be blocked, did you know Mr. Rittenhouse has, and I sent you a, I believe it was a meme or a TikTok about Mr. Kyle Rittenhouse. Stop getting your fucking news from TikTok.
Speaker: I told you he was suing LeBron James. But on top of that, he's also suing CNN and Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg. And I couldn't be more proud of them. He could shoot both of them and be. Right? I can't stand them cackling their tins. Oh my god.
Speaker: summer said you get your news from fake news .com. Trust me. I know he tried to he thought he was going to die on a hill earlier and he didn't even make it out of the car before he died. We're right back. I got a fried chicken. I don't know who's worse. Kevin on the. TikTok Facebook educated when it comes to politics and
Speaker: conspiracy theories and all that other jazz. It's true because TikTok told me so. I read it in a Facebook meme, so it has to be. No. No, no, no, no. Mama, you've been smooching my dad. What? Oh, I didn't see him. He just makes up random stuff just to hear himself talk.
Speaker: Yes, she has, Parker. I like your mama's smooches. Cash came in here earlier and was standing on my doorway with my nunchucks. Well, not lately you haven't. Not unless you've been smooching somebody else. But he was standing on the doorway with my nunchuck's nunchuck ace. And he told me that he was Michael Leo Donna Tellejo.
Speaker: the Ninja Turtle with the red headband, or the orange headband. And I was like, what the hell? I said, you mean Michelangelo? None at all. Lately, no, you haven't. When you guys were up here, you did, last time. Is he watching this with you? Did you get all packed up and whatnot, ready to go?
Speaker: But, um, good Lord. Ah, gotcha. Jeff go like four houses down to go take a piss or something. Jesus Christ. I'm watching the big 10 championship game when my boys Mr.
Speaker: You're down the road from... You're down the road from who pops? Michigan is currently winning 21 -3. I was trying to score. Probably gonna kick another field goal. But my guy Aiden Hutchinson tacked on another sack tonight.
Speaker: for his record setting season. He's up to 14. Iowa fans are looking dejected, ready to go home. They can't believe they spent the money to come all the way to Indianapolis for this game. I'm loving it because we're 16 minutes away from the college playoffs. Nice. Just shut them down on a fourth and goal.
Speaker: Our defense is. You're not packed. I already not packed yet. You gonna wait and pack in the morning? I thought you said you were in South Carolina. How the fuck did you go take a... I didn't take a squeeze. Because I'm sleep. What?
Speaker: Oh, sleepy. Oh, okay. There you go. Summer's going up to Kodak tomorrow to work in a store for a couple days. One of their other stores up there, and I asked her if she was packed, and she said she was not packed. She said, because she's sleepy.
Speaker: We were just talking about the Michigan game here. Michigan's thoroughly handling, or I was at this point, on our way to the college football playoffs. What? And a Big Ten championship. What? I thought you said you were in Cartersville, South Carolina. Not that I think Michigan will win this college championship, but we are going to win a Big Ten championship, so we'll take that. We're not going to win a national title.
Speaker: Oh, come on. Crazier things have happened. I mean, if we're going to win a national title, it would be this year. But unfortunately, we have Georgia and or Alabama in our way. Well, you said South Carolina pops. Yeah, I don't know what I'm talking about. I am three sheets to the wind. We were talking about you and you're just making up new stories that you believe. That's
Speaker: I don't remember. Drink another one, pussy. I might have to. I've been informed that if we don't get off soon, I won't get any tonight. You're not getting any tonight anyways. Oh, I am. I am. Let me go grab another beer. Jesus Christ. I just dropped my keys. He's not getting any tonight. He says this all the time. And you know what? He doesn't get any.
Speaker: He does this shit all the time. Next thing you know, he's gonna come back and he's be like, daddy, daddy's gonna get him some lovin' tonight. No, daddy's not. Cause daddy's gonna hit this podcast and then she's gonna go out to the bar. Okay, so I have, I have a, I have a double door fridge.
Speaker: Mm -hmm. And I literally just opened it and stared at it for a good minute, doing really fucked in my beer. Then opened up the freezer, because that's where it was originally. And it wasn't there either. And then I looked back in the fridge, and it was right there in front of my face. That's usually how it goes. Like, seriously, if it was a snake, it would have bit me. Mm.
Speaker: Bitch you're writing a penis and your penis would have been rotten just like in that story we talked about a couple weeks ago. Exactly. Or last week or whatever it was. It could have raped me like the other snake. I wouldn't have noticed. The old rape snake.
Speaker: We were just discussing how your wife is currently upstairs scissoring with her friend and that when you get off here, she's going to go to the... That's what I went to do. I went to go let her friend out. Because my friend was actually hand down. They're done scissoring. Which is why I was told if I want to get any tonight, we need to wrap up. She's currently getting ready to go to the bar with Juan. You're like, I'm going to go to where you get some and you're going to get off here. And she'd be like, this is what I want with my friends.
Speaker: No, I'm definitely getting something. I've heard that a lot, that I've also heard the next day that... Oh no, I can pretty much get some anytime I have. Yeah, but it's usually nicer if it's somebody else involved and you're not by yourself. Well, that is true. He said two. He said two in a Zima.
Speaker: He's wasted. Exactly. I'm fucking hammered. But the one thing that I'm allowed to get hammered, and I can't get yelled at for it, is today. My wife, when her friend came over, brought me this Victoria. You're allowed to? Oh, I can get it. I don't drink, though.
Speaker: You're allowed to? I'm allowed to get hammered. I can drink every day if I wanted. But... You're allowed to? I'm allowed to, yeah. Without getting yelled at? You're allowed to. Mm -hmm. Without getting yelled at? Now I do have to fry chicken, damn it.
Speaker: I'm allowed to some fucking silly shit. I'm allowed to... Mommy said I can... Mommy said I can get her... I guarantee you... Someone moves in and starts dumping the beer down this thing. No, she won't. Tonight, Chris. She'll probably drink it. No, she won't. No, she won't drink it all. She doesn't like beer. She doesn't like the taste of it.
Speaker: Nobody likes to taste a beer. They just like the effects. I love the taste of beer. I think it's delicious. Do you have issues? You don't like beer. I like... She likes wine and Patron. I hate the taste of wine. I hate... My... No, you do like beer. No, you don't. I never said I don't like beer. You have said that.
Speaker: Everybody said that. I have fried chicken. Nobody says that. The non -beer drinkers don't like the taste of beer. The people who drink beer, they... You have told me you don't like the taste of beer. That you prefer wine. Those words have literally come out of your mouth.
Speaker: Now I just look like, now I look like Jeff. He ain't making shit up, even though I know what was said. I've never seen you drink a beer. Not that I can recall. Whatever. I don't just talk out of my ass. I know what you told me. I know what you told me, woman.
Speaker: No, I don't. I don't see any drink. I don't see any drink. I don't see you very much as it is, but... Oh my goodness. Very rarely do I talk out of my house, but okay, I guess we're gonna do this. Trouble. Yeah, because apparently even though Summer's home and she does not like beer and she doesn't like the taste of beer,
Speaker: Apparently she's never said that and she does drink beer. And I'm just talking out of my ass. I'm not saying I don't like the taste of beer. I don't like the taste of something. No, I don't like the taste of some beers either. Particular beers that I like. Uh, Victoria beer tastes like dog shit. But it's free and... My wife Frank came over and brought me a 12 -pack. And...
Speaker: If I wouldn't have had the six takat taste before we started, I would be grossed out by the taste of the spirit. But at this point, I don't know how to taste anything.
Speaker: I was just trying to think of the movie I was getting ready to watch. I was getting ready to watch the movie. What, tonight? Well, probably tomorrow. I'm gonna pass up tonight after I have sex. If you have sex? Oh, I will. It's a guarantee. After you get done having sex by yourself? Hey, Rosie Palm has been my best friend since I'm 13.
Speaker: I don't have to drink to survive. If I go out, I may have a top winner. Again, I've never seen you drink a beer and I'm only going off of what you told me. I don't have to drink to survive. Apparently, because
Speaker: Well, that's only because we live 500 miles away from each other. If you were in the same room, that would not be a problem. No.
Speaker: And as we've stated, my dick is very small, so it's not gonna reach 500 pounds. If Summer lives here, it'd be a different story. I think I could safely say that I would not have to worry about ever having sex by myself if Summer was here.
Speaker: I think I can safely say that. I, at this point, I don't know because even though somebody told me she doesn't like beer and she doesn't drink beer, now, apparently, I'm talking out of my ass. I love the taste of M .G .D. M .G .D. is fucking awesome. It's just so goddamn expensive compared to the cheap shit I buy. Yeah. Well, yeah, I mean, we all have our preferences.
Speaker: Right now I've got beer left over, what I'm drinking tonight is left over from last weekend. So like, I've got a couple, I've got a couple or a few more Budweiser selects in there. But like Bushlight, once you buy it, man, it just kind of goes bad after a week. So I'm trying to. Yeah, yeah. Miller's not a bad choice, but
Speaker: Again, I've just never seen you drink beer, and I'm only going off of what you told me, so I apologize for being wrong. I'm sorry. This Victoria beer has been around since 18... Is it six or three? Six or six or... Well, that's probably why it tastes like ass. It's 140 years old. I wasn't as...
Speaker: It is my fault for listening to the words that came out of your mouth and what you told me. I do apologize. And I am very sorry for assuming things. Please forgive me. You know what happens when you assume, Fred? I make an ass out of you. Nope, just you. Well, yeah, I am three sheets to the wind.
Speaker: Shut up and drink your beer, you vagina. I just finished that last one. Get another one. I know you're not forgiving. You never forgive me. My fiancee sucks. He is the worst ever. But he dicks me down decently, so I'll keep him around. I'll deal with that. I got an award. I'm married to him.
Speaker: I got a ward for my tongue game right here. I do what I can. She's happy. Free fire, what is that?
Speaker: I don't fucking know, but my brother -in -law, Jesus, gets obsessed with that more than he is Fortnite. Is it a Fortnite game mode? No, it's a cell phone version of, from my understanding, a cell phone version of Fortnite. Oh, I don't think so. That is the only reason that she's with me. Well, it's definitely not based on looks or money, because I don't have either one. And I have a terrible personality, so.
Speaker: Well, the other day - At least I'm good at satisfying you in the bed. There's a store here, and it's a chain, obviously. I think it's in the States as well. It's called Pandora. A jewelry? Yeah, it's a jewelry store.
Speaker: Well, Pandora is a jewelry line. I don't know. Maybe is that a store? I don't know. It might be a store. I know like one of the, one of the, or actually most of, most of the jewelry stores now at one time it was exclusive, but most of them carry the Pandora collection or whatever. Right. Well, there's a Pandora store here and, uh, about, uh, three or four weeks ago,
Speaker: Juan hooked it up for your wife? No, my wife, I was standing next to my wife when she bought a bracelet. And they have the entire Harry Potter line. Sugar Daddy Juan gave her the money. They have the Harry Potter line, they got the Disney line, they got Star Wars, all this stuff. Yeah. And I basically told my wife, I said, whatever you want, I'm going to cover it. She's like, I'm not with you for money. Obviously. I am not just with you for the money, actually. I could care less about any of that.
Speaker: I was like, obviously, because 11 years, I haven't really been making a whole lot. But they think my wife, we bought a - That's why she's got sugar daddy one to take care of her. Did you see the Mandalorian? Jeff, I'm going to let you rewind that. I'm going to let you rewind that. I know. I'm going to let you. No, I'm going to let you. I'm going to. Why am I queer? Because I have not.
Speaker: Because it's fucking awesome. Yes, Jeff. When I am alone in my apartment like I am on Gina Carano. Carano. That woman. That woman. That woman. Anyways, they have blood. She was in Deadpool. Yes. She was in Deadpool 1. She's so good in the Mandalorian. But she has blood. Oh, with a block putt.
Speaker: They have the Star Wars line and the Mandalorian line at Pandora. And they got this badass little baby Yoda that goes on my wife's bracelet that has the Harry Potter golden snitch on it. Yeah, we're dorks. What you should check out if you like stuff like that is Alex and Ani. Alex and Ani?
Speaker: They're Alex and Ani. They originally got popular because of their bracelets. OK. They're not super expensive, but they're actually really nice. But their bracelets that you can buy all these different charms for them. And they have the Disney. And then they have Marvel. Who's Marvel?
Speaker: They have they have a little bit of everything and anything, you know Pandora's got this charm that I want to buy my wife Because I think it's cool shit. But if I walk around wearing this thing on a bracelet, I'm gonna get my ass beat But do you remember the the cartoon movie Milan? Yeah the dragon
Speaker: Yeah, they have Mushu, the dragon. Wasn't that Eddie Murphy that played the dragon? Yeah, Eddie Murphy. On a charm, and it looks like a ruby charm with the dragon on it. It looks so fucking cool. It's like 300 pounds. Actually, Summer,
Speaker: Yes, I did. I said I would be with you regardless. I am not with you for your money. Pops is the one that said he was with Joe for the money, and Joe's like, yeah, but you get whatever you want. If you had Jeff to shut up for two seconds, then you would have heard me say that. Oh, Lord.
Speaker: I am not a very materialistic person. I am dirt ass fucking poor and I have nothing fancy in my house. So I am not even the fancy in my house. The nicest thing I own is probably my car that I bought when I had one.
Speaker: Yeah, that I'm that I'm currently almost two months behind on car payments goddamn job Yeah, I love being back at OSU I'm loving my job I love the guys I work with and stuff like that which is a lot to be said about a job, you know, but I
Speaker: Well, I've stated, I'm thinking about my job. I've stated about my job. A, it's good money. B, it is my most favorite job I've ever had. I don't really see myself. I see myself as enjoying myself. I got a microwave in my house, but you and Joe probably bought it for me.
Speaker: Dude, I air fry fucking everything. You and Summer are on my shit list for making me buy that fucking air fryer. No, no, no, no, no, don't put that in your boat. Summer just... I go fucking... I'm sure my electric bill is 90 % air fryer. Summer just went out and got herself a new air fryer. She's got the one like Joe's got, which is like the air fryer oven thing. Oh yeah, it's got the old doors and shit.
Speaker: It looks it looks like it looks like a No, it looks like a toaster oven or whatever. It's called. Okay But it's an air fryer. I love so summer juice because because I was talking about that's what I wanted to get and Summers like yeah, I already went out and bought one. I was like, okay Well, I guess I don't need to buy one then I'll just wait until you move up here and we'll have both versions of the air fryer. Yeah I won't shoot
Speaker: My next major purchase for the kitchen is the Instapot thing that you keep talking about. I love my Instapot. I just wish I could figure out how to make more than just roast and chili in it. What else is there? Oh, with a one -handed grab, baby, to the one.
Speaker: What else is there besides roasted and chili? Did you feel a little bit of anything in there? You could put babes in there and cook a baby's surprise. That's why I wanted to go buy one. I looked at one the other day, and I was like, mmm, it was Friday. If it was Bay Day, that bitch would be in my heart.
Speaker: I'm contemplating giving my wife my ATM card because every time I walk in the store I'm like, yep, need that.
Speaker: Joe III think I have a cookbook for my insta pot. I have an app with recipes for my insta pot I'm on a Facebook page for it's the pot recipe I just can't figure out I just can't figure out
Speaker: how to use the goddamn thing. Like I push the buttons and nothing happens and I'm like, oh, let me push that button and nothing happens. I'm like, oh, fuck it. I'm going to cook chili.
Speaker: and I push the chili, but that may be the problem. My Instant Pot may only be able to cook chili and roast. Maybe that's, maybe it's an Instant Pot thing. I'm gonna blame Instant Pot. My air fryer has, I think it's nine set presets. One's for french fries, one's for fish, one's for chicken and all that stuff. I fucking hit that button all the time.
Speaker: But the microwave I bought, dad said it was probably one we just had laying around this morning. No, that came from the money that you guys loaned me to move into the apartment. That I had extra that I bought like my microwave and some other essentials for the house like bathroom shit, shower curtain and this and the other thing. Which I need to get a new shower curtain.
Speaker: because you gotta help me figure out how to set up a shower curtain for my shower. Because it's in the corner. What do you mean it's in the corner? I'll send you video. Do you have a, do you have a, do you have like, what are those stand -up showers or do you have a tub with a shower? It's a stand -up shower. It's a stand -up shower. Because there's no tub. Well you're not gonna be able to use. But it's gonna be - Oh my bad, I didn't know that you guys didn't have fucking tubs. Well, can you even do a shower curtain with a stand -up?
Speaker: shower because typically they're with the glass doors and stuff no we're not here usually what they do well tile they tile the walls and and the floor of course but they have like a little six inch retaining wall around the bottom of the shower
Speaker: But since it's in the corner, for instance, if you walked in my bathroom and I'm taking a shit and you jumped in the shower, I'm going to get wet. Well, that would be a weird experience. Hey Jeff, I see you're taking a shit, but I'm going to take a shower. Is that cool? No, but... Oh, you let your balls sit on the toilet seat too? That's cool.
Speaker: No, but, but what's crazy is like, the problem I have is, is when my kids take a shower, every time I go into the bathroom, every fucking time, you, if you don't have shoes on, you're gonna get fucking wet. Well, do you not already have a shower rod in there? No, well, you can't because it's, it would be, it would literally cut the shower in half because it's diagonal. It's in the corner. Yeah.
Speaker: You would have to do. Send me. I kind of have an idea what you're talking about. Holy shit, Michigan scored again. And I missed it. It's 28 to 3, baby. Big 10 championship. I've literally looked at it like 14 times, and I'm like, I think what I'm going to do is get those glass blocks.
Speaker: and do a glass block wall between the shower and the toilet. And then... Well, yeah, like I said, you'll have to send me a picture or a video or something because you could probably go and like, for instance, if I don't know if you guys can do it down there, but if I go to Lowe's or Home Depot, I really don't know about Lowe's because they're about half fucking retarded at Lowe's anyways. But like at Home Depot, if you went in there and you bought like a
Speaker: like a metal rod, you know, like a metal rod. And you had your dimensions, you could, they could actually bend it for you. So then you could go home and you could install it and, you know, put it on the wall and then put a shower curtain on there and then cover that whole shower area. You know what I mean? Oh no, I've contemplated that. My problem is the middle is still sad. Well, then go from your ceiling.
Speaker: In the middle, get one of those support chairs. Yeah, the problem is they need two curtain rods. No, you don't. Shower curtains. But you'd probably need two shower curtains anyways, which would actually, at the end of the day, probably work out better for you because you could open it in the middle and then close it right in the middle.
Speaker: That's true. So you get like, you know, you know how like, like if you're like, uh, like in a building, like a commercial building or something and they run and they run the plumbing and every what six feet or so they have those, those support choice. And it's just like a, it's like a threaded line that you thread into the fixture onto the ceiling and then it comes down and you thread that, uh, little circular thing that goes around the pipe. Yeah.
Speaker: You could do that in your house. You could do that easy as shit, dude. And then you could just have the shower open in the middle. One of the things I want to do is I want to actually convert my shower head to a rain shower. And Joe's speaking your language right there, Jeff, because you know how you like to do stuff. Joe said you go buy some piping and make your own.
Speaker: Yeah, I was actually, I have a couple of plans. I just have to get... That's what I would look at. I would look at, like I said, but look at getting like an inch, inch and a half PVC and just build it. See, I do. It's a shower curtain. It's a shower curtain. It weighs less than half of a pound. PVC would work perfect and it would be cheaper.
Speaker: Jeff, I would do galvanized steel. No, no. They cost $45 an inch. Yeah, I'm into that. No, I'm actually... It's PVC. It's not gonna rust. I'm actually talking about doing like a glass door and those glass bricks. They're glass blocks. They're like four inch by four inch or... Joe said, even Joe said, yep.
Speaker: So you're going to spend like $1 ,000 as opposed to spending like $10. Yeah. Because it'll look cool. It's awesome. Because they got these ones. Dude, you don't live in a mansion. It will be when I'm done. If I have my pretzels. What are you going to do? Go to Home Depot and buy a house stretcher and house expander?
Speaker: No, no, no. So your house is bigger? I'm actually in talks with the developer. The house next door to me is empty and not sold. So I'm in talks with the developer about buying said house. So I can take one house and pick them two. The house that the wall is connected to, the crazy lady next door? No, that's the crazy thing. It's literally, yeah.
Speaker: So you have, so how are you going to connect the two houses? I have a hallway. I'm going to actually do a connection from above. Like a hallway that would become... Like a bridge. Yeah, like a bridge, exactly. So underneath that separates the two houses is the side yards. Sounds like an absolute nightmare to... How thick are your concrete walls? Four inch. Four to six inches. I'll buy a fucking... Those walls are only four inches?
Speaker: four to six inch. Wow. I figured that'd be thicker than that, but okay. Six inch, six inch tops. I'm literally sitting right next to the next one. Well, as you see where I'm grabbing right here. Yeah. That's uh, what the fuck is my tape measure? That dude. That's like what? Six inch tops. So you're going to punch through two concrete six inch walls to connect
Speaker: It's only money. But the beauty of it is we own the house. So you don't have to do it once. I know you own the house, but why don't you tell the guy to give the lady next door who has next to the connected door? I would love to. Give her that house. That's my plan. That's my plan. I'm actually going to buy that house and trade with her.
Speaker: Okay, well there's that I mean you can always just be like hey mr. Developer guy, can you give her that house and then I can buy that one It's the thing is the beauty of it is if I take out the center wall in the in that separates the two side yards
Speaker: I literally have a garage that I can put the eclipse and the Malibu in because the eclipse and the Malibu will literally become toys.
Speaker: How far apart are the houses? What's the separation between the two houses? I would easily say, if my eclipse is five feet wide, maybe six feet wide, you could put the eclipse in and open the door and be able to get out.
Speaker: So there's what about eight feet between the two houses? At most. I would call it easily eight feet. So you, so you would enclose that entire area. Yeah. And make the bottom half a garage where I put both cars. Okay. So are you going to have an entrance from the garage into the house or do you going to go into the garage and then have to come out of the garage and come in the front door?
Speaker: I haven't decided that part yet, but basically the top half, the kids' bedroom would be expanded and the master bedroom would be expanded into a giant bedroom. Or do a hallway between the two and have four bedrooms. Or give your son his own room and your daughter her own room and then you have an extra bedroom, so go with four bedrooms.
Speaker: Right, that's what I said. So do a hallway, you too. But... And when your wife gets pregnant with Juan's baby, the fourth bedroom could be your illegitimate child. Well, the original plan... And as long as Juan's baby looks like her, like your kids do, because your kids are a spitting image of your wife, then you'll never know that it's somebody else's wife. It's like the whitest fuck. And my daughter has the same fuck you face as me.
Speaker: Yeah, but your son is basically a clone of your wife. When I was pulling pictures today, I was like, holy shit, this dude looks just like his mama.
Speaker: everything eyes, nose, mouth, everything. My daughter is going to have the height and build of my wife. I guarantee it because my daughter is three inches shorter than my son. My son has my height. My daughter has my wife's height.
Speaker: Hit him with the old flea flicker for 30 yards, baby. My wife said today, she's like, oh, no. I said, what? Your daughter's going to have my body type. I said, yep, we're fucked. Well, hopefully she doesn't have her same whole personality. I'm only kidding.
Speaker: No. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I'm only kidding about your wife's whole personality. Harker Parker's at the tip of a size five. What? She apparently Jeff just got yelled at. Oh, holy crap. Golly.
Speaker: Tech kids, man, his feet have got to stop growing. He's got to give the rest of his body time to catch up. He's two sizes above Cash. And Cash is still a little bit taller than him. This Cash is where to three now. Holy Bully. He's four sizes.
Speaker: What do you mean? No, cash is at a three now. His last pair of shoes, I bought him more twos. And now he's in threes. I did have big feet. Yeah, I see. Yeah. Summer and I were talking about that today. Parker is going through shoes like there's no tomorrow because his feet are growing like crazy. And cash is going through shoes like crazy because he just
Speaker: He just wears them out, man. You just said he was a fuck. Oh yeah, I forgot about the halfs. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I forgot about the half sizes. You're right, I'm wrong. I'm sorry, I do apologize. Yeah, I forgot about the half sizes.
Speaker: I literally just said you were right. I was wrong. Yeah, there it is. Jeff's in trouble. He had to leave. He just said bye, kiss my ass or anything. He just dipped. Well, there he is. What happened? We can see you. I don't know, dude. You just dumped. I thought your wife came down and started beating your ass.
Speaker: No, we were still live the entire time. I love you too, buddy. I was trying to send you a snapchat going, what the fuck happened? Yeah. But apparently I couldn't work for a snapchat in my drunken state. I love you too, buddy. Just in case you didn't hear me. Well, we're talking about the boys, their, their, their shoe sizes. Cause cause I was saying Parker's
Speaker: Parker's at that point where his feet are just growing, growing, growing, and cash is just tearing shoes up like it's nobody's business. I'm not buying, I'm not buying cash another time. Oh, I would. Nikes or anything like that. Ooh, what the fuck? Oh, no, no. No, my kids, I don't know about you, but in the house, my kids wear fucking Crocs all the time. Nobody wears shoes in my house. And I get them for five bucks a pop. That's not a rule that I have. It's just as soon as we come home, we take our shoes off.
Speaker: No, I wear my shoes 24 -7. I literally fell asleep last night. Granted, I went to bed at 6 a .m., but I went to sleep last night and woke up with the funniest style of my shoes on. Well, you also have concrete floors. This is true. I think if I had concrete floors, I would wear slides or crocs or something like that.
Speaker: at the house, you know, at all the time. I can't keep, I can't keep shoot crocs or whatever on my kid's feet. Fuck yeah, let's go baby. I don't know what the fuck my kids are but they can't keep the shoes on their feet. Eric Hall for the TV. They will run out in the street with fucking bare feet on and I have to yell and pull fucking shoes off. My kids are weird.
Speaker: But I went and bought new Crocs for the kids, and I gotta go buy tennis shoes for them probably next month. I bought those roller skates. Have you seen those roller skate tennis shoes? Oh, yeah, those are so old. Those have been around forever. Oh, my kids love theirs. Oh, yeah, they've been around since, I mean, Jeebus was a boy.
Speaker: But, uh, my kids begged and begged and begged. So we finally broke down and bought those. And now they're outgrowing them, so we'll have to buy new ones. My daughter said to me today, my tennis shoes start my teeth, man. I said, fuck. Damn it. So much for this week's paycheck. Let's go!
Speaker: Yeah, well, you know, that's the joys of kids. Well, and then my wife said to me yesterday, you should have another kid. I said, you should smoke more crack, because no. Well, it's Juan's new baby that you'll take care of. Ain't going to happen. No, I'm, I'm, I'm, did you know it makes for free?
Speaker: You don't know how well I would trust getting a vasectomy in Mexico, but okay. You can get a vasectomy for free, but you have to pay for your COVID test and pay for your COVID shot. Exactly. Well, it's covered under insurance. I'll put it that way. It's covered under my wife's insurance. 35 to three, baby. Where my insurance is basically I can write it off.
Speaker: Oof. Oof. Oof. The playoff projections for the college playoff. We have to jump off because I'm going to piss myself. The college projections for the playoffs. And I don't know how, but Alabama, number one, number two, Michigan, number three,
Speaker: I think it was Georgia and number three Cincinnati and number four Georgia for the national championship, which would mean one would play four, two would play three in the first round, and then the winners of those would play the championship. That'd be so awesome and vicious.
Speaker: I'm not letting anybody touch my cubes. What up, boys? I don't know. Who is it? Who is it? Facebook anonymous. Reveal yourself. I have fried chicken. Go fry a chicken. Oh, fuck. I got past like one. Why is it first? What? I got past like one. Why is it first? Roll tide. I don't know, man. My Facebook is still all fucked up and it won't show the comments.
Speaker: Oh, it's Tyler! Who still partnered after last week's ass whooping. What's going on, dude? You enjoying this 35 to 3 ass whooping they're putting on the Hawkeyes? There's Stroud's daddy.
Speaker: There's Stroud's daddy. There's Stroud's daddy. What's going on, man? How you been, big dog? I can't believe Alabama did that to Georgia today, man. That's crazy. Holy Jesus, I had to pee. You feel better?
Speaker: I don't know what the deal is here with Facebook I don't know why I can't go on Facebook and get my get and see the comments but like it's not even at this point they're not even showing
Speaker: Did we just intercept that? Did we just intercept that? Does the offense get the ball back again? I'm feeling fucking fantastic, Cameron! My boys are rolling, baby! Michigan, I was all in. I should have bet. You should have bet.
Speaker: Absolutely. Absolutely. My boys are rolling going to the college football playoffs baby with a big 10 championship around our waist. Let's go. Aiden Hutchinson 14 sacks on the season. Bested his daddy. Aiden Hutchinson's dad was played for Michigan from 88 to 92.
Speaker: Aiden Hutchinson's dad, Chris Hutchinson, they wear the same number. This is the jersey I am on is actually Chris Hutchinson jersey. His dad set the school record with 11 touchdowns or 11 sacks and he got his 11th sack for the record against Ohio State. Aiden Hutchinson went into the Ohio State game with 10 sacks. Right? He was one sack behind his dad's record.
Speaker: And he got three sacks in the game against Ohio State. So they both go into the game with the chance to break in, or with the chance of, I think at the time Chris was at 10, so he needed one sack to break the record. So Chris breaks the record against Ohio State. And then Aiden comes in one sack behind his dad, not only ties it, but breaks his dad record against Ohio State. Then he adds another one tonight.
Speaker: Aidan Hutchinson is an absolute monster. And if he's not in the Heisman Trophy conversation at the end of this season, then college football is bullshit. It's whack. There's nobody else. And I'm not just saying that as a Michigan fan. Aidan Hutchinson should get a fucking Heisman. Good night, Joe. Happy birthday again, Jeffrey from Joe. Thank you, Joe.
Speaker: Currently, I don't have anything in it. I usually put a beard oil and beard cream in it. But right now, I have nothing in it. I just took a shower and then I straightened it. That's why I'm forgetting the shower.
Speaker: He's white and compact, Miles Garrett. Well, I'm really hoping, because you know Aiden is going to go in the first round. And I would love, love, love for the Cleveland Browns to draft Aiden Hutchinson, because the Cleveland Browns, they love drafting for Michigan. They love drafting their Michigan guys. So I'm feeling pretty good right now, man. You should be feeling pretty good right now.
Speaker: Michigan's winning. It's your birthday. You're drunk. Michigan's winning. Woo! Give us a Ric Flair woo, Jeffrey. Woo! You can do better than that. Woo! You don't know who Ric Flair is? I know who Ric Flair is. I'm just saying, I couldn't give you the proper woo because I've heard of Ric Flair woo since like 93.
Speaker: Give us a John McCain. Remember when John McCain was running for president or whatever and he did that speech and he did that scream at the end of it? And shot somebody. John McCain shot somebody? He shot a dude in his face.
Speaker: what are you talking about no that was no that was george bush the dick cheney yeah it was dick cheney the job decay did like this oh with the pass interference of the defense put us on the one yard line baby
Speaker: Could put another touchdown on the board. I was going to say, it sounds like a slaughter. It's 35 to 3. Jesus Christ. We're losing a lot of seniors. Fuck my life. First and goal. It's about to be 42 to 3, man. They are. I thought for sure this was going to be a much better game, a much tougher game. I'm not going to lie. I was nervous for this game. Boom.
Speaker: Oh, wait. We'll do it again and get a touchdown. But Michigan is absolutely clear in here. I have a question. What's that? Fourth? Fourth down. When you're playing Madden. Yes. Do you go for it? Fourth down and what? Fourth down period. Well, am I winning or losing? Doesn't matter.
Speaker: OK, yeah, it doesn't really matter. In all honesty, it depends on who I'm playing. Like if I'm playing Cameron, for instance. Boom, touchdown, touchdown, 42 to 3. Let's get it, baby. Let's go. Donovan Edwards, who already threw a touchdown pass in the game, now got a rushing touchdown.
Speaker: I'd say 4th and 10. 4th and 10. 4th and 10. I'm typically going to go for it. But I'm only going to go for it because generally, no matter who I'm playing against, I can pick up 10 yards with my tight end pretty easily. I wouldn't say honestly.
Speaker: But no matter what, if I got fourth down, you're going to basically going to hand the ball over anyways. So you might as well fucking go for it, right? Well, well, again, it depends on if you're winning or losing. If I play a carebird and I win it, I'm going to kick it off or Justin, his brother or whatever. If I'm winning, I'm going to probably put it away. If I'm losing, I'm going to go for it. But at the same time, depending upon how much time's left in the game, this, that and the other thing, and
Speaker: I'll probably throw up a Hail Mary because worst case scenario, if they get an interception, if they get an interception, then it's just as good as a punt. But yeah, like you said, just depends on the situation. I'm a little bit more strategic, I guess you could say, when it comes to Madden, being a football fan and being a football guy. I go with the Denzel Washington, remember the Titans.
Speaker: I run like six plays, they're like novocand, they just eventually take over. Okay, fair enough. Hail Mary is my fucking end -all. I fucking love that player. Well, if you're like somebody like... I usually run shotgun formations. I change it up, I play around.
Speaker: I mean, from my recollection, I can't remember the last time I played fucking Madden, but I remember playing on, I wanna say regular Nintendo, the NES original. They had the ass Madden button. They still have Madden. Yeah, okay. I would literally use that every fucking play.
Speaker: Cameron said Cash would probably beat Jeff and Madden. No doubt. Like I said, my game, the way I played depends on who I'm playing against. I mean, Cameron, I know like, like Cameron and I, and I typically don't even play Madden anymore unless I'm playing with Cameron or whatever. Cameron and I were played, last time we played, I was down 40 to nothing and scored 48 unanswered points to win the game. I'm just putting that out there.
Speaker: Go fuck with me. I gave them a 40 -point lead and scored 48 unanswered points. I'm a golden fucking god when it comes to Rocket League. Because it's sports, but I get to drive a car. Well, with the exception of buying this game, I play Rocket League like you fucking read about. I am a golden god when it comes to Call of Duty.
Speaker: When it comes to video games, I am unbeatable in almost every driving game you will ever give. Yeah. Yeah. I'll give you that, Cameron. Lately, yeah. We have some pretty close games now, but there was a time where I would just beat the unholy hell out of you. But you also are only allowed to play Madden now, so you've gotten much, much, much better. Only allowed. Dude, I've been beating Cameron at Madden. I've been beating Cameron and his brother for like 10 years.
Speaker: I've been beating Kevin for longer than that. But Cameron's only allowed to play Madden now. His new daddy only lets him play Madden, so he's gotten a lot better. He can at least make the games interesting. He's beat me a couple times. I'll give him that. One time he beat me by a fucking point, and it was only because I fucked up an extra point. I was like, god damn it. I would get my ass in. I literally, on my PlayStation right now, I have SnowRunner.
Speaker: I got rid of Call of Duty because it takes up so much fucking space. Yeah dude, Call of Duty is stupid the amount of space it takes up. I got rid of it because I wouldn't have been able to download my fucking SnowRunner. I was actually gonna get ready to get rid of that Call of Duty Modern Warfare game but then my nephew said he plays and I was like well I had me so we could play together and he still hasn't added me yet.
Speaker: but uh my kids have come but i was contemplating highly tempted to delete yeah my brother don't place the kids have 20 hours later it's been like almost four calm down good night pretty girl i love you good night madam have a wonderful night um
Speaker: My Xbox has quite a few games on it, but I've been, there he is, the man's on the sideline. Charles, what the fuck it looks like. I need to figure out how to get an expansion, like make my memory paper. Oh, that's cold, man. That's really cold, man. You just go buy it. There's actually a, you could buy, it's like a USB thing, and you can get up to like one or two terabytes, and it just plugs right into your USB port. Yeah. I'm gonna have to look into that.
Speaker: What game was boring as fuck? This game was fucking amazing, Cameron. You love me too? You guess you love me? You're all boring. Shut up, jackass. You're new big 10 champions. Michigan over reach. Yeah, baby. Good night, buddy. I love you.
Speaker: Tonight, Parker. First Big 10 championship since 2004. Ouch, that hurts. 17 years. It's hard to say. First Big 10. Jim Harbaugh gets his first Big 10 championship. Headed into the college football playoffs. Let's fucking go. Let's go, baby. It's not a good championship, Parker. He probably did, too. That wouldn't surprise me.
Speaker: And on my birthday, no less. Wow. Is it still my birthday? Well, yeah, you got 15 minutes. It's still your birthday. 15 more minutes. We got 15 more minutes left of this broadcast. There you go. And then your wife can officially turn you down because it's such a great day. Exactly. You got to sleep sometime. Yeah.
Speaker: Hey, Jeff, as long as you yell surprise. Exactly. I'm like, surprise! Oh, you don't have to get mad, Parker. It's just a joke, buddy. I got a quickie story. So yesterday, as we're cleaning up the dog mess. Four hours later. I kid you not. A little bitty cockroach. Oh, look. Hey, not to interrupt you, but look. Yeah, bud.
Speaker: Summer said Parker got mad because Summer said that and she said that he said that he likes Jeff. Don't be mean to him. Thank you. Parker is probably one of the sweetest kids. Parker is probably one of the sweetest kids that you'll, that you'll ever come across. He's got one of the kindest, gentlest hearts in the world. He's a good kid. I love you. My wife has a phobia towards cockroaches. So what did you find in the backyard? Talk about me.
Speaker: No, no, yesterday, when the ducks came in while we were out grocery shopping, and shit and pissed all over my fucking living room. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what you were saying. We were cleaning it up, and we were just about to finish up, and my wife saw this little bit of cockroach, maybe the size of your fucking thumbnail. Yeah. And she had on a shirt, and it was raised up just a little bit above her waist, so there's a little bit of belly showing.
Speaker: and ever so daintily I tickled her and she's sweeping this fucking cockroach on the front door and she jumped like 40 feet in the air I swear to god I laughed so hard I almost fell over she said that's not funny you know I'm scared of them fucking things I was like oh my god I lost it her brother was like what did I want to do because she yelled me in English
Speaker: And he only speaks Spanish. He thought I was going to die and I was losing it. Rolling on the ground laughing my ass off. I got to do some extra door dashing so I can get me some Big Ten championship gear. That is awesome. Come over here and bring me another beer.
Speaker: Okay, you ready? I'll throw you one. Yeah, I'll catch you. It just changes brands and labels on the same kind of throw. Yeah, I was playing Call of Duty last night for a little bit. And generally nobody really talks anymore like we used to back in the day. I don't really play with anybody. But there was a guy, him and I, we're okay, night dudes, night bro. Night brother.
Speaker: But I threw a sticky grenade across the map. And I stuck this dude with it. I couldn't see anything, I just threw it. And I was like, call me Tom motherfucking Brady because I hit that bitch right in his bread basket for the win. And this dude started rolling. He was like, the fuck? I said, I threw that sticky grenade on the replay. It was on the final kill camp.
Speaker: Right. And he was, and he was like, Oh shit, you did hit him right in the fucking chest with that grenade from across them. I fucking, the last time I played, I was playing online and I actually had my headset. Good night, pretty girl. I love you. And I was playing with this guy and I was complaining that every team I've
Speaker: been on because I only play plunder because if I play anything else I just get killed and I'm like fucking I got to write another game I've never come in first and out of sure luck genius I don't know what it is but everybody remember my team had mics and like fuck it let's get this guy a fucking win
Speaker: yeah that was over a month ago so i finally deleted the game yesterday i'm gonna i'm gonna interrupt this with some mission michigan celebratorial nonsense with some of my michigan friends let's fucking go baby big 10 champions get up stand up let's go but i i literally i haven't played in
Speaker: let's see this hell fucking yeah! October was the last time I played that fucking game so deleting it does not hurt me one bit well I mean yeah I mean if you're not playing but that's what I told you man you should you should buy yourself cold war and you and I can play the hell out of cold war we can play multiplayer and everything well the thing is like I'm
Speaker: The whole shooting game, the first person shooter and stuff like that, where's the shit out of me? You can be any vehicle, if I can toss it around a 90 degree curve at 70 miles an hour, I'm happy as a pig of shit. And you're not supposed to, and if SnowRunner, you're not supposed to be able to hit the emergency brake and slide around a corner, but I figured out how.
Speaker: So I come barreling down the road in this big old fucking semi truck with a flatbed on it at like 60 miles an hour and I'm coming up to the curb and I slam on the parking brake. My kids watch me going, what are you doing? I'm like, I'm making a turn. You're hilarious.
Speaker: As your fucking trailer goes flying off the side of the mountain? No, no, because it's like, what's really cool about this game is you literally can customize every vehicle to the mission you're doing. So like, you can lift kit on it, you can make it four -wheel drive or have a diff lock, or you can be able to pull a trailer. But like, they're not even at this point, they're not even showing. Or you can even have it have a flatbed.
Speaker: so i'll have semi truck with a crane and a flatbed and i'll have the flatbed full of stuff and it comes barreling down the road you know top speed at sixty miles sixty miles an hour and just slam on the e -brake to make the ninety degree turn so i don't run into the guardrail and fuck up my truck yeah you know shit happens i'm gonna send you video of me playing this game some of the shit
Speaker: The the mod browser cracks me up where people have built vehicles to put it in Do you remember your Dodge Horizon? My Plymouth Horizon? Yeah, what same difference? Dodge made the Omni, Plymouth made the Horizon. Yeah, we talked about it on the podcast Well, Bob always had the Dodge, you had the Plymouth
Speaker: But there is a vehicle that I have. Which was funny, because the two of us were not small individuals by absolutely no means whatsoever. Exactly. You guys have the smallest car known to man. My vehicles were bigger than yours, and I'm the smallest motherfucker in class. Me and Brad, the smallest motherfuckers in class, Brad drove an S10, and I drove that fucking 87 Astro.
Speaker: In the mod browser, where people build their own cat -eyed Chevys, there's actually one I want to show you that you'll get a kick out of. It's a fucking Bronco like you want. But it's full -on mud truck style. But you can download these mods for free and use them in the campaign. And I found one. It was like six vehicles in one download.
Speaker: And one of the vehicles is, obviously it's not named because of copyright, you know, Ford, Chevy Dodge, but it's basically a Dodge fucking Omni, Flippa Horizon, 4 -wheel drive, fucking badass little fucking, with a 12 -inch lift, 54 -inch tires, it cracks me up. It is this, it's not built.
Speaker: fucking Dodge, Omni, Plymouth Horizon, badass. And I was pulling the fucking Chevy Silverado out of the mud. To the point where I got a winch hooked to the Chevy Silverado and the little Dodge Rises bouncing left to right across the screen, trapped the most fucking thing out of the mud.
Speaker: You talk about two of the biggest guys having little ass cars That actually Worked out to my advantage a couple times because it was it was so funny and
Speaker: when somebody would get pissed off or try to talk shit and I'd be in my car. And it was so funny to see the look on their face when I would get out of it. And they're like, oh, shit. I think I'm fucked up here. Thank you for that, babe. Sorry, sir. We do apologize for any issues. I have a story about something like that. My Cancun grandmother is what I call her. She is 80 if she's a date.
Speaker: And her husband passed away like four years ago. And she told me this story once, where they're driving, he had this little MG, which is basically a Maso Miata. And he's, they're driving in it, and this guy cuts them off. And my friend flips this guy off. And she screams out, fuck you motherfucker.
Speaker: This guy stops the car and he gets out of it. And he is a six foot eight black man that is just massive. Like John Cena would look small next to this motherfucker. And being the old school cat that he is, after everything died down, her husband said, honey, next time check the size of the gorilla.
Speaker: Every time I hear that story, I'm losing. She's like, check the size of a gorilla. I was like, that's not at all racist. But she's always good for those stories, man. Back then, she told a story. Have you ever heard of the Etzel? It's a car? I don't think so. And Etzel is a...
Speaker: an odd car it was made I think it was made by Dodge and and your pops would be able to confirm or deny this but the crazy thing about the Etzel is is their idle if you put the car in gear and idle it'll literally get up like 45 miles an hour and she told me the story about her her sister got in the Etzel
Speaker: Had it running and put it in gear and it took her three full minutes in an entire front yard to get stopped. Like took out the front porch the whole nine yards. Because they, Esles were big, they're yachts, they're like 22 feet if they're an inch and
Speaker: 454 This is an old -ass. This is like one of those old -ass land yachts. What was it? Oh I was thinking like was it is it okay? I'm probably gonna butcher this but is it Chrysler 81 is that what the cars called? Not the year
Speaker: No, it was the Chrysler 88. The Chrysler 88. The Pontiac had one. The Pontiac had one, too. That was a big land yacht. Yeah. But it was a Pontiac and it was a number. Yeah, I thought it was Chrysler 81 or something like that. But they had the numbers. Yeah, it was the 88. But those? But they were fucking land yachts. Compared to an Edsel, that's a Dodge Omni.
Speaker: What the fuck was it called? A Dodge Edsel? No, no, it's... I think it's... Dodge Edsel. No, I think it's... I didn't say metal, you stupid whore. Dodge Edsel. No, I think it's Chrysler. Yeah, this is Dodge. Oh, it's an Edsel, not an Ed...
Speaker: Oh, yeah, they look like the they just look like all the 50 basically Chrysler Imperials Yeah, they look like all the 50s hot rods. Yeah This motherfucker and put it drive and take your foot off the gas next thing you know, you're doing 45 50 miles an hour There's such a mouth the Ford Motor Company from 58 to 60
Speaker: Oh, this is an Edsel Ford. No, you want the Chrysler Edsel. Competing against Buick, Oldsmobile, Pontiac, Dodge, and DeSoto. Edsel. Dude, I literally looked up the Edsel, and it is a fucking Ford. Yeah, you got the wrong vehicle. I'm fucking looking at their page right now. 1955 Edsel. Here you go. Look at your camera.
Speaker: They had a netzel citation, a corsair, a pacer, a ranger, a Bermuda, a villager, a roundup, a cornet. Look at the screen! That's the same car that I pulled up. Is it a Ford? It's the same exact car. It is a Ford. I'll be damned.
Speaker: It looks like Christ was crazy. Go fucking die on another hill you motherfucker and it's a car hill that you died on and I beat you. I am your goddamn daddy. When it comes down to the Edsel, I think it's one of the ugliest vehicles Ford ever made. Ugly shit. I'm just kind of curious to see how big they were. They made him.
Speaker: Ooh, a 410v8, nice. 450. They're beats. How long is the 1950? Length, 213 .2 inches on the wagon. It's 78 .8 inches wide. Now, how many fucking feet is that? 113.
Speaker: inches yeah yeah and feet it's about six and a half feet wide 17 feet nine inches that's a big bitch that's a big bitch yeah it was 70 78 inches wide 78 and three -quarter inches wide
Speaker: I think it's about six and a half feet. Hold on a second. They're huge. Yeah. About six and a half feet wide. And probably weighed 14 ton. Because back then, all those cars were made with quarter inch. Dude, the only thing I'll take out of this conversation is at the end of the day that you died on the hill that I won on it. Oh my god.
Speaker: I literally would have died on the hill thinking it was a Chrysler, where my dad would have been like, no, that's a Ford. But the - You did, you literally did. No, no, no, no. We argued about it. But my point is, the Edsel was not a car that I was like, ooh, I like that. Most cars - A lot of that, I think most cars back then, compared
Speaker: Compared to length and width and whatnot. Which car is just that car? But it's the same thing like in the 80s, 70s and 80s. I mean, look at the Cadillac. That motherfucker was like 400 feet long. There was a Pontiac that, it was Joe's mom's. And I actually, because I got fucked over with the company I was working for and got screwed and I didn't have a car. So I borrowed it for a little bit. Pontiac.
Speaker: Pontifil? It wasn't a Le Mans. Pontifil? No, I swear it had numbers, like a Pontifil. Then Pops and Joe aren't in here right now, otherwise I know they would tell me.
Speaker: It might have been, like I said, I don't know, but this motherfucker was, dude, it was a boat. And when you drove it, it floated, yeah. The Malibu, my Malibu, on the way between Cancun and then the next big city is Lionel Carmen.
Speaker: On the way there, there's a bridge that I shit you down when you go over this bridge. It does this on the bridge. It goes up and down. The Malibu you have right now? Yeah, my 99 Malibu. That thing floats where we get onto one bridge, and the bridge does this. And in a small car, like in my Eclipse, you don't notice it. But in the Malibu, it's just kind of... It's like a bubble car. It fucking cracks me up.
Speaker: My wife was watching on that bridge. Yeah. I'm going to say, yeah, I had an oh eight Malibu that I bought Delta 88, the Delta 88. That's what it is. Was that finally? I don't know. Oh, no. The Delta 88. I think I want to say Oldsmobile. Well, well, what brought that up was
Speaker: We went to the grocery store yesterday. We had to pick up some stuff for dinner for last night and tonight and stuff while the kids were here. And there was an old ass car and I was like, look at that boat. And they're like, where's the boat? And I said, right there. And the kids were all like, what are you talking about? I was like, that car right there. And they're like, oh, but that's a car. I was like, yeah, but those old ass cars, you called them land yachts.
Speaker: because they were bigger than, they were as big as a boat and they felt like driving a boat. And I had to explain how, like once you got up to a certain speed, yeah, once you got up to a certain speed, it felt like being on a boat because, but yeah, but yeah, that was the thing. Like, how hard do you think it was back in the day to create suspension for those cars when they wait 20 ton?
Speaker: well it's uh... as a not damage the corporate it there's a uh... drug through it uh... fourteen -inch concrete wall there's a video of uh... new rolls royce it shows the year previous model and new one going over
Speaker: Like a bumpy road. In any car, your car, my car, whatever, you're gonna feel every bump. The new Rolls, Rolls over this thing at 70, 80 miles an hour, like it's nothing. Shit. Like it just... And you can see the tires just... But the body, solid as a fucking rock. I was like, damn. But for 200 grand, it fucking better be.
Speaker: You motherfuckers! Two hundred grand if ever you were able to go over that shit and then come back and give me a blowjob. And swallow. Uh, something. But, like, I think it's the new fandom. I don't know, I saw the video of it on TikTok, because that's basically all I do on my phone anymore is play on TikTok.
Speaker: Fuck, I was like, damn, that's impressive as shit. When you're playing on TikTok, you can make videos to promote our podcast. I literally go on TikTok for 30 seconds, and then I have to get back to it. I really have not, I, this is by you and I haven't talked all week because I literally, I put in three days in a row, I did 12 hours in a row. So says the guy,
Speaker: So as the guy, as I said the other night, I look for shit to do because there's just... Nothing. You get bored where I'm like, I got 400 things to do. But the... And I'm not... I said, if you're listening to me, don't you fuck me over. Yeah.
Speaker: Well, I'm not completed either. I am perfectly fine with it. They sent me 46 dead accounts, and I got a hold of 40 of them that are filing their documents. And I literally sent my boss a message. Hey, I need more. Sorry. I got distracted. I sent my boss a message. I said, I need more. She said, what do you mean more? I sent you 46. I said, yeah. I've contacted them all.
Speaker: And she's like, it's been 12 hours. Charles Woodson, Jim Harbaugh, and Jim Harbaugh's little boy are singing the Hail to the Victors Michigan fight song during the post game. God, this is fucking awesome. Oh, man. Well, on that note, sir, it is after midnight. It is no longer my birthday.
Speaker: Yep, so fuck you Jeff, you little bitch ass. Yeah, fuck me again. I don't have to be nice to you. 364 days. Fuck you, Jeff. You're old. You're a piece of shit. Over the hill. Should be buried under it. Yes. You've died on a lot of hills tonight, sir. I literally, I got, I don't know what it is. Two years ago,
Speaker: I've been on Facebook for a while. Two years ago, not a single message on my birthday. This year, I got messages from people I haven't talked to since junior high. You're welcome. I was like, that's cool. I didn't have anything to do with it, but I'm going to take credit for it. You're welcome. You, sir, are welcome.
Speaker: Yeah, let's go ahead and wrap up Dude you literally are a man with a pecker even though it's small all you have to do Just off -camera behind that wall. No, no literally
Speaker: Right there, I can see 15 people still outside. That's fine. Ask somebody if they want to come hold it for you.
Speaker: But on that note, he might come and do something to it, not hold it, which is why I'll run upstairs. Oh, I'll go fry chicken. Yes. Well, we're going to end the super side show. It was Jeff's birthday. Jeff was drinking. I couldn't let him go to bed early. I couldn't let him leave early.
Speaker: So we appreciate you guys hanging out. We appreciate you listening. Those of you in the chatters box, you guys were awesome, as always. Thank you guys. Greatly appreciated. Twitter, thank you guys for the retweets and all that jazz putting us out there. We appreciate the shares, as always. And if you're not already, feel free to follow us on all social media at Nonsenseful Nonsense on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok.
Speaker: And you can also join us live on Wednesdays and Saturday nights. You can jump into the chatters box and hang out with us on Haps, YouTube, Twitch, Facebook, and Twitter. We go live. Also, if you want to get every single episode, there's
Speaker: 62 episodes posted so far. You can get every single episode on Anchor, Spotify, Google Play, Apple Podcasts, basically anywhere and everywhere you get your your podcast jollies from. Go ahead and search up nonsensical nonsense. Give us a follow. Give us a like. Give us a share. Give Jeff the old double thumbing. It'd be greatly appreciated. We're having fun doing what we do. Hopefully you guys enjoy it a little bit.
Speaker: And then if you want to email us, you can always email us if you have any critiques, if you want to be a guest on the show, or if you know somebody that might be a good guest on the show, we definitely want to get into the interview game. Or, you know, if you're a local company or a company in general that would like to get your name out there, we would gladly do so for a minimal fee. Feel free to email us at the email, and our email is...
Speaker: Well, yeah, I'd drug it out a little bit longer because I've seen her getting re -situated. That's just, that's just, yes, that's, that's, that is what we call a great host.
Speaker: That's fucking hammered because he almost fell over trying to sit down on his chair. Me being a great host had nothing to do with you almost falling. Me being a great host had everything to do with the fact of delaying it and pushing it out just enough to where you could sit down and spill your five words. It would probably help if I could keep my fucking shoe tied tonight. I don't know what the fuck it is about these shoes. They just don't want to stay tied today. Well, it would probably be fantastic if you actually do how to tie your shoes.
Speaker: So with that being said Again, thank you guys for listening. Thank you guys for hanging out. Thank you guys for watching us live Those are the chatters box. You guys are awesome as always if you're not in the chatters box, what the fuck is wrong with you and That's a wrap Go Michigan Big 10 championships. Happy birthday to you again, brother. I love you See you Wednesday
Speaker: And we close it out with Blacktop Mojo. And if you're not already, go follow them on all social media. They're streaming the shit out of their music. And we go ahead and, oh yeah, we got the slow intro. Bring him down to the camp. Here we go. Bring him down to the camp.
Speaker: She likes the mood, she likes the night, she likes the blood on her hands. She dances naked through the trees until her eyes go red. She whispers prayers into the wind and she comes
Speaker: Please, love her. And I'll begin to believe, she said. No! There's only the sky! We'll take this sacrifice!
Speaker: Hey.
Speaker: Sir, can I help you? Do you have any weapons of any kind? Anything to defend yourself? Sir, this is a speedy mark. We have hot dogs, too, for a dollar. I just put them on the roller yesterday. They're pretty good. No, man. Like, something sharp. Something, like, I can stab to defend myself with. I've got some sharp titter combos over there. It's kind of like a red cracker pregnant with a cheese baby. All right.
Speaker: Let me just take one of these lighters and I'm going to borrow your bug spray and can I borrow your bathroom key as well? Uh, yeah, bathroom key. All right. Got your bathroom key right there. Make sure you bring that back. And that'll be $13 .62. And I'm going to have to have a jack chain. So we're in a coin shortage at the moment. Whatever, man. OK. That's. I'm sorry.
Speaker: Oh, shit, Chuck. Oh, shit, Chuck.
Speaker: Oh shit, Chuck!
Speaker: In the sky, take this action fight I want to live forever No, we really need help Kill me forever Make me a god like you Make me a god like you
