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Episode 207: SECOND SNEAK PEEK FOR EPISODE #207! "This Podcast is Hosted by an AMERICAN! Suck it, Stanford!” image

Episode 207: SECOND SNEAK PEEK FOR EPISODE #207! "This Podcast is Hosted by an AMERICAN! Suck it, Stanford!”

S4 E207 · AMATEUR NATION with Lou Santini
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46 Plays3 years ago

FREE MONTH OF DRYBAR COMEDY when you go to my DryBar Comedy Special, “Amateur Nation”: https://www.drybarcomedy.com/lous and USE PROMO CODE: LOUSANTINI

THIS WEEK:


  • “Stanford University: The boss of you!”
  • This past Christmas, did you remember NOT to masturbate with the  tree ornaments? “Oh, Come, All Ye Shameful…”
  • My most hated word of 2022! 


On “A la Carte”:
Co-ed Pro sports?, Bill Cosby, and “The Keebler Elf” is officially delusional.
On “3 Pro Things”: you must be happy, moving towards how you want to live, and at least one US senator has a sack.

SUBSCRIBE on Youtube for 60-second podcast previews every Thursday at 7 a.m. Eastern!: https://bit.ly/3wuyAWq
FREE MONTH OF DRYBAR COMEDY when you go to my DryBar Comedy Special, “Amateur Nation”: https://www.drybarcomedy.com/lous and USE PROMO CODE: LOUSANTINI
WATCH the parody song: “My Prez” on YouTube! https://bit.ly/3iyNGpb
WATCH the parody song: “He’s So Stupid (And We Hate That)”: https://bit.ly/3CGNRZa
WATCH the parody song: “Oh, Say AOC!”: https://bit.ly/3ET17gc
WATCH the parody song: “We Want LA”: https://bit.ly/3MCVcO5
WATCH the video: “30 Things That Are Like Driving a Prius”: https://bit.ly/3glKj7m
WATCH the parody commercial: “Teachers Gone Wild!”: https://bit.ly/3TdQSHB
DOWNLOAD the book! https://amzn.to/2qWAOlz 

Facebook: https://facebook.com/lousantinientertainment 
Instagram: @lou.santini3 
GETTR: @lousantini

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Transcript

Unconventional Christmas Ornament Usage

00:00:00
Speaker
Doctor warns against this surprisingly stupid Christmas trend.
00:00:04
Speaker
Don't masturbate with ornaments.

Surprise and Shock on Unusual Topic

00:00:06
Speaker
No sh**.
00:00:06
Speaker
There's a sentence that I never thought I would say out loud, especially on a podcast.
00:00:10
Speaker
Here are

Ornaments to Avoid

00:00:11
Speaker
the top three ornaments you definitely should not masturbate with.
00:00:14
Speaker
Number three, garland.
00:00:16
Speaker
I imagine it's used for some kind of choking fetish.
00:00:18
Speaker
Number two,

Dangers of Large Bulbs and Political Humor

00:00:19
Speaker
those old school large Christmas bulbs.
00:00:21
Speaker
Sure, they're tapered, but they're fragile.
00:00:23
Speaker
Plus, they're made in China, and China is already up our asses, so why make it worse?
00:00:27
Speaker
Number one,

Angel Tree Topper Warnings

00:00:28
Speaker
the Angel Tree Topper.
00:00:29
Speaker
That's just wrong.
00:00:32
Speaker
Helpful tip,

Dark Humor and Safety Concerns

00:00:33
Speaker
if you insist on masturbating with Christmas ornaments, the tree stand is a great way to catch all the blood.
00:00:37
Speaker
Here

Modified Christmas Carols

00:00:38
Speaker
are the top three Christmas carols to listen to while masturbating with Christmas ornaments.
00:00:42
Speaker
Number three, the little bummer boy.
00:00:44
Speaker
Number two, oh come all ye shameful.
00:00:48
Speaker
And number one, it's beginning to look a lot like stitches.