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Mayhem Jokes
19 Plays4 months ago
Mayhem Jokes and with luke telling his thoughts on doctor who ep rogue.. and has his Tardis Rating System so what do you think luke will rate that episode ??? and some jokes as well :) listen to find out!
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Transcript
Introduction to Monday Night Mayhem
00:00:02
Speaker
Good evening, good evening, and welcome to our show. He's Tobias, and he's Luke. And this Monday night, Mayhem, on Johnson Community Radio on 104.5M. Let's get this Mayhem show started on Johnson Community Radio. How you been since
Humorous Calendar Planning
00:00:25
Speaker
last monday night ma'am show Tobias? Look I have been extremely busy. Oh yeah? It has been a very stressful week. Okay. It has been a week full of planning and decisions. Okay. about this time in the year I like to sit down get out the old excel spreadsheet okay and start strategizing what uh what calendar I'm gonna have for 2025 oh 2025 I'm halfway through the year, obviously, we are now in June. Yeah, I can't believe that. And obviously there's only six months to go, so time is of the essence. The time is flying. And I need to start preparing what calendar I'm going to have in my wall for 2025. Yeah, it is. Are you going to have a Spice Girls calendar? Are you going to have any kind of calendar? I don't know. That's why we've got the planning commission. Look, that's why it's such a tough
00:01:26
Speaker
This is a mission, isn't it? You know, um well, we don't commission if we get these are straight off the shelves of the shelves We could we could maybe for 2025 maybe we're try and make them under that mayhem one Yeah, that could be um If people want that I Don't know if I would get past the Commission. out there but who knows. um Obviously you've got a lot of competition there to beat in terms of calendars. And obviously people always think that I'm a bit mad, a bit crazy looking at calendars in June. um Obviously it's not something that most people don't think about until December.
00:02:13
Speaker
Yeah, it's almost like it comes. I always think that's too late, really, because you don't want to be rushed on these things. It's something that you're going to have on your wall for a year. Yeah, you're going to have it on there for a year onwards. Well, 365 days. Yes, correct. And it's going to be something that you're going to be looking at every single day of that year. When you wake up in the morning, you'll go to the kinder, see what's happening that day. Boom. Exactly. So that's why I feel it's quite an important decision. I know people Might make fun of me for Saying that for saying that but that's truly you ask the question How have I been and I've answered it as honestly as I can really? I I could try and jazz out with you and say that we've got gas hands our finalists of calendars, but we are still in the early stages of One that mayhem
00:03:09
Speaker
of getting through and um of this year seeing who's on the shop and who's uh who's gonna pop up and pop down who's gonna make it through um the calendar top 10 finals i can tell you who's in the lead who is uh frank frank butcher ah okay dearly departed rest in peace yeah um he is in the lead right now okay uh to be the calendar of 2025 wow yeah well look suggestions if you've got any a send them in send them in to our instagram at monday night mayhem i will put them forward to the commission and um see whether they uh
00:03:48
Speaker
are valid for yeah the top 10 maybe of calendars. You know this is going to be something that's going to occupy a lot of my time right now. But anyway going into today's show. Are you trying to cut off my calendar chat? No I'm not. Have you thought about calendars yet? Not yet. Well look, get thinking now. The time is of the essence. Well I'm going to give a sneak peek what is coming later in the show.
Joke-a-fon Segment Begins
00:04:15
Speaker
local legend with a mike in his
00:04:20
Speaker
jonesford community radio where he takes a stand his jokes they crackle through the air waveves clear and bright What's that? It's not heavy breathing there, Luke. Are you okay? Yeah, I'm okay. But that jingle or coming to the show is the Joke-a-fon. Wow, I didn't know that the Joke-a-fon was tonight. It's tonight, people. Wow. And also coming to the show is The One. First of all, after this song coming up of Bambam by Corella Cabelo, it's The One, the only show you hear my view of.
Doctor Who Episode Review
00:05:02
Speaker
Ooh, Doctor Who! Yes, the latest episode of Doctor Who, Rooge, coming up after this song of Bambam by... Camilla, Cabelo, and featuring the one, the only, the Gingerhead Fool, Ed Sheeran.
00:05:34
Speaker
Couldn't ever imagine even having doubts But not everything works out, no Now I'm out dancing with strangers You could be casually dating Damn, it's all changing so fast I see I love it, I see Yeah, that's your life, baby Yeah, love came around and it knocked me down But I'm back on my feet I see I
00:06:04
Speaker
Yeah.
Musical Interlude
00:06:35
Speaker
We were riding away and trying not to drown And on the surface I held it together but underneath the sword I came unwound Where would I be or all that I need? My world baby you hold me down You always hold me down I've been the breaker in broken, every mistake turns to moments, wouldn't take anything back. I still have it, I see it. Yeah, that's just life, baby. Yeah, love came around and it knocked me down, but I'm back on my feet. I still have it, I see it. Yeah, that's just life, baby. I was barely standing, but now I'm dancing. She's all over me, but I love her.
00:08:01
Speaker
I still have it, I see it, I just like it, baby. Yeah, locate my friends and then knock me down, but I'm back on my feet. I still have it, I see it, I just like it, baby. I was barely standing, but now I'm dancing. She's all over me. Now I'm dancing. Keep dancing, yeah. Now I'm dancing. Keep dancing, yeah.
Doctor Who Episode Breakdown
00:08:45
Speaker
Oh, here it comes. What is that noise? um are
00:09:04
Speaker
It is my Doctor Who review of episode Mooj of series 14. Aroosh. I like how you said that. Aroosh. How have I said it? Like, that episode... You said it with a lot of passion. Aroosh. It's a fantastic episode, I think. I'll tell you what time it's been in the system after this review. I'll give that separate to this review. But how this episode started off, it started with telling the scene of about the baddies in it. Oh, okay. Didn't start with...
00:09:43
Speaker
Ruby Sunday or The Doctor. What? It starts with the baddies of the episode saying how they like, what's the word, take over the planet or like take over people's bodies basically. bodies yeah they kill people by lifting them up and having lightning and they take the tail bodies and wear them themselves and the old person's dead on the floor so their spirit their soul leaves them and when they're dead they're absolutely dead there's no coming back dead on the floor they can't come back and they're just using their bodies as costumes yes yeah that's what it is basically wow and like after that that's happened and then intro comes in the dot 2 introduction but I will say some sets of this You might recognise there's not two franchises and other things like that. Like the scene outside the first bit where it's like the um kind of church or building. Like that building you might have seen in Tultured, the wedding of what's the name, Glen Cooper and a partner. It's that same building, the same inside, the same outshot as that, as Tultured. There's no spoiler there.
00:11:00
Speaker
or just a hint if you haven't spotted that. And the main baddie was played by, in route, is South on Tortred. Not Gwen by the way. It was the first episode where you see Gwen face off with the person who played the first baddie in it and she was in .2 in the episode just been. Anyway, going on tangent there about people who have been in other shows of
TARDIS Rating System Introduced
00:11:31
Speaker
Doctor Who. But the whole gist of this Rouge episode, it was based on Bridgerton. Have you heard of that series, Bridgerton? Yes, of course. A popular Netflix show, certainly. A period drama. And the Doctor Who universe are trying to get into that relatability of that and have like, Bridgerton vibes in it. I think it worked out quite well.
00:11:55
Speaker
But then the dots came on screen with Ruby Sande. And after that, they got dancing. And he went, how do, Ruby Sande went, how do I know how to dance this? That's in Post Dances. The dots went, Sonic earpiece. right in your ear from the TARDIS what makes you know how to dance and quality and all that said but don't do that saying he said in that part of the dance he said do not use the fight saying because that won't end well yeah but yeah that's how it went the doctor was there dancing with Ruby Sunday and then Ruby Sunday went off with someone what I said with some talk to him once and who played the main baddie like came over Took away, and then, he took his tonic out of his pocket, he sent a screwdriver, and scanned for some alien tech. Ooh, okay. Then, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop,
00:12:57
Speaker
posts on until the balcony who is a bounty answer top o there was a bounty hunter in the episode Right. And he saw the doctor as boop, soon as he was over, thought he was an enemy of them. And when bo he went outside and had a child in the balcony first, both the doctor and him, they said, you'd better come outside with me. After that, the doctor said, this is my spaceship, and he said, the bandit hunter went, I've been in plenty of sheds. Hmm. Not the old word, I said, there's sheds inside the building. Just to clarify.
00:13:32
Speaker
And then, after that, the bandit hunter showed off his spaceship, uncloaked his spaceship, what looked like a bird. Had a beak and everything on it. That's what he's counting, he's looking for the beaked creatures. Right. And then after that, the bandit hunter took the doctor into his tightest and put a gun at him first, by a laser gun. After that, the doctor went into his thing, put like a triangle trap on the doctor, And yeah, after that Doctor was tracking the band hunter's spaceship. And after that it was a little back and forth, Bill kind of wrote some plays.
00:14:13
Speaker
of can't get you out of my head, so I'm playing in that spaceship. Linking back to when Kylie Minogue was in Doctor Who with David Tennen. Called The Forge of the Damned. Linking back to that. And then, oh, there was loads of advice spoilers and stuff. Then right back into the main part where Ruby Sander was with the other person. that but Also, in the studio, Tobias doing the studio is on the computer. That person that I'm pointing to with Tobias is supposed to be tortured. the person who is in bird costume right okay yeah the fun one just look on radio people will not be able to understand that but like and then after we saw a poster of do you know what i'm gonna say susan twist a post of her on the wall wow it's following them all the way through the series as you might have seen from space babies to there was called to everywhere in the every episode that person was following
00:15:13
Speaker
And after that, boom! but All the episode came to a climax, we thought Ruby died to a fake death because one of the monsters came out and tried to kill her with lightning. oh wow But when we find out at the end, all the episode where Ruby gets trapped into that triangle thing with the rest of the monsters, she goes, no, I really am Ruby. I really am Ruby Sunday. And the doctor goes, no, he cries. But there's something plot-trist here. Oh, okay. Do you remember, back in 2005, with the 9th Doctor... ...of Eggleston... Ken Jakarnas? No, that's going back nearly 20 years. Yeah. Right, in that... ...in the spaceship, they actually... How can I say this? Kissed. The Doctor and Ken Jakarnas kissed. Going back to that...
00:16:07
Speaker
ah Remind me of what happened in the episode of Spin. Oh my god, scandalous. By the doctor and the bandit hunter kissed. Wow. And after that, when we got saved he went, pushed Ruby out, the trapped bandit hunter did. And he said, find me and press the button on the controller. And went. And it gave the doctor a wing. The doctor is saying the spaceship is saying I missed out. Saying, is your name from Dungeons and Dragons? Oh, yeah. There you go. And that was the episode of Moods. All right. I'll be happy to end it at the end.
00:16:47
Speaker
Wow, okay, so that is the review, but we still are going to get your... Yeah, TARDIS rating system. The TARDIS rating system after this song. Of doctors in the TARDIS. By the time law.
00:19:56
Speaker
I'm gonna dig out the top. And that I have lived a long life And I have seen a few things In the world of Doctor Who, a fan emerged Luke Woolley with his TARDIS rating system he searched With Series 14 he sets out to explore Every episode he drapes and adores Oh Luke Woolley, your love for Doctor Who
00:20:27
Speaker
Shines through in your heart's reigning system, it's true Analyzing each episode with passion in place Your insights and opinions we eagerly employ
00:20:44
Speaker
From the Halloween apocalypse To survivors of the flux Luke evaluates the stories Never afraid to discuss Wick is taught to scale He brings order and delight Helping us navigate the doctor's cosmic flight Your love for Doctor Who Shines through in your TARDIS rating system, it's true Analyzing each episode with passion and grace Your insights and opinions we eagerly embrace Through time and space you guide us along
00:21:23
Speaker
Sharing your thoughts, never steering us wrong Your dedication to the doctor's adventures Inspires us all, creating fandom ventures As series 14 unfolds, episode by episode Luke Worley's TARDIS rating system explodes From fantastic moments to emotional thrills His analysis captures our hearts and gives us chills Oh, Luke, we'll leave your love for Doctor Who. Shine through in your TARDIS rating system, it's true. Analyzing each episode with passion and grace. Your insights and opinions we eagerly embrace. We keep exploring the Doctor's vast universe. The TARDIS rating system, a gift and a curse through eyes and lungs.
00:22:25
Speaker
Over the washing up while the house burns down. Unless people face facts and change, catastrophe is coming. Sometimes this team structure isn't flat. It's mountainous with me at the summit in the stratosphere alone.
00:22:51
Speaker
This time my TARDIS raging system is the time we have all been waiting for on my TARDIS raging system of episode 1 Okay, will be Sunday's performance out of 10 of TARDIS 8 out of 10 okay so yeah that's gone up a little bit from last week i believe yes okay should you get word the doctor Performance out of 10, our tide is out of 10, 6 out of 10. It went up this time. okay then Scary factor, still there. And it's 3 out of 10. It wasn't that scary this episode yeah for me. Monster factor, I'm just calling it this week. nice And it's ah for episode Rouge and it's 5 out of 10.
00:23:40
Speaker
okay right monsters were there but not that monstrous yeah they're not going to give you nightmares no and then like the doctor should go again the end of performance at the end six out of ten right okay then over waiting of the episode Rouge out of 100. It's 10 out of 100. Wow. Okay. There you go. Wow. Okay. And once there's a little bit that you've screwed out here, the kiss. ah Yeah, the kiss.
00:24:14
Speaker
You've done a rating there, but you screw with that. Yeah, screw it out. That was gonna be a hundred out of a hundred. If I say that. It was a good scene. I didn't like it, but I liked it. Okay, maybe you need to see a specialist there. Maybe work through some stuff there. The top two universes and me. Let's see whether you're trapped. Okay, but yeah very good rated system there. And Luke, we already have some comments from our listeners who have came in. So maybe you can have a word or two on these.
00:24:52
Speaker
So someone I've put someone sorry Stacy has So I definitely think rogue is working for the same person the meat is oh, yes I think it's the same person the meat is well for as well as rogue same thing same thing Okay, and oh, we got Thomas going. Rogue said he had a new boss. Could this be the boss mentioned in Star Beast? Yeah, by meep. It could be the same boss. Who knows? We have to wait to find out.
00:25:26
Speaker
o And we've got here from Bernard, the heavy Captain Jack likeness could suggest that the person Rogue used to travel with was Jack.
Listener Comments and Theories
00:25:39
Speaker
Yes because his personality did look like Jack Hardness, Captain Jack Hardness. It felt like that to me too. Okay so there's, like you said, there was a lot of linking back into the past. and um keep your comments coming in. Obviously, we have the Joker fun, but if we still have time, we will get to your thoughts again. Yes, some of your doctorate comments, because I know that Luke does inspire the discussion. Yes, I do.
Joke Contest with Laugh-o-meter
00:28:43
Speaker
And you're losing my attention
00:28:56
Speaker
local legend with a mic in his hand. John's word, community radio, where he takes a stand. His jokes, they crackle through the airwaves, clear and bright. Making folks chuckle till their bellies take flight. From evening show madness to the midnight crew Luke's got a joke for everyone that's always something new Upon a one-liner, a story that tickles the ear On Chelmsford, Hundham, Fort Port, 4 FM, the laughter is always near
00:29:39
Speaker
colors ringing with a chuckle and a grin sharing jokes and more jokes letting the fun begin look weaves it all together with wit and with charm creating a laughter factory safe and warm
00:30:00
Speaker
To the midnight crew Luke's got a joke for everyone It's always something new Upon a line or a story that tickles the ear On shark's throat hungering 4-4-4-F And the laughter is always near He posts on at himself with a self-deprecating wink But his confidence shines through Making the laughter sink in a gift for connection A master of love, bringing joy to the airways Spreading laughter across the earth From evening show madness to the midnight crew
00:30:46
Speaker
Luke's got a joke for everyone, it's always something new Upon a one-liner, a story that tickles the ear On shelves 34, poor 4 FM, the laughter is always near So tune in each day for your daily dose of glee With Luke on the mic, laughter's guaranteed On Chelmsford Community Radio, a gesture you adore Luke the King of jokes, forevermore But you probably like me, erm, well maybe you don't
00:31:35
Speaker
So I bought this DVD in the extras. It said deleted scenes. I want it to look like nothing there. This song is called The Ladder Song. They fit the music. I also bought some cutlery without knives and spoons. It's the fault that counts. Keeping show madness to the midnight crew. Luke's got a job for everyone. It's always something new. Upon a one-liner, a story that tickles the ear. Look the king of jokes forevermore Truly each day for your daily dose of glee With Luke on the mic Laughter's guaranteed On Chelmsford Community Radio A gesture you'll adore Look the king of jokes forevermore
00:32:34
Speaker
Okay, Luke. Yep. This is the joke of fun. Yes, it is. We have heard your jokes jingle. I liked how that promoted just you. Yep. That you as the funniest man in the land said bellies would fly and that you can make a joke about anything. Yes, I can, I think. So this has built you up quite a lot, but look. It's a battle between me, Luke and... And the person who wasn't mentioned, wasn't bigged up to bias, the underdog. He could win, who knows? The man of the people. sort Now, the way that we are going to decide our winner is that we have our producers in the next studio. Yes. And they are all attached to our laugh-o-meter. Yes, they're connected to it and if they laugh, they laugh and it makes it go off.
00:33:28
Speaker
There we go. Luke is giving you a little bit behind the curtain there. Some of the magic. He's broken it down. Yep, I have. That was the idiot's guide. So just so for the listeners know, so if the laugh meter goes green and we get some laughs in the next studio, you will hear... Lovely. And if it falls flat on its face, you will hear... Now, did Did it? it sounded just like you. I wasn't me. OK. OK, who's going first on this joke of fun? Luke, I believe, as you have bigged yourself up, quite um massively. Quite a lot. I would love you to set the table here. OK. Did you hear about the burglar who broke into a bakery? No, I didn't hear about the burglar who broke into a bakery.
00:34:24
Speaker
He was caught bread-handed. Ooooh, okay, very good. Let's see what he produces, I think. Here we go, we're going to the laugh a me ah and it-o Oh, okay. There we go, the laugh-o-meter's a little bit delayed there, in the studio. Yep. Okay, so there we go. First point to me. Luke, now have we got anything to mark this down so we don't get lost in the woods? No, it hasn't on me, have you? Okay, let's just on the fly, let's do a little search here. Yep. Okay. On the fly here. and into that Okay, we've got we've got a receipt from Tesco's. Okay. Lovely. That was my first joke and I get one point, isn't it?
00:35:13
Speaker
Well, on the radio, we'd like to big it up here. We're gonna give you ten points. Points, come on. Now it's over to you Tobias. Tell us your first joke. Whether it's get laughs or not. Okay, here we go. Nobody tells me why Ken or Connie, least of all some guy whose job is labeling packets of Cecilia gel.
00:35:37
Speaker
I try, don't know, let's see what juicers are saying. Hey, come on Lava Mater. Juicers, seriously? You know those little packets that come in? Oh, I'll get it now. The elect electronics and that, you know? Yeah, I'll get it now, yeah. The silica jar, it says do not eat. Yeah. No one tells me. Not to eat it, yeah. i'll tell you Okay, it now. Okay, my next joke. Here we go. Why did the priest, priest like Swiss cheese? Ooh, why do they like Swiss cheese? Because it was holy. Holy. Oh, there you go. Let's see what the producers think.
00:36:28
Speaker
Oh, it was a... Ooh. They didn't like it. What?
00:36:35
Speaker
Well, one less point to me there. i we go Have got another good one? Sorry. Because my bad one was bad. I can tell you that I had very late notice to get these jokes together, but yeah I was handed a pile of jokes here that okay I'm just going through them now because there are a number of jokes that aren't quite friendly for WJ okay sorry i'm I'm just these are funny but they are I know
00:37:20
Speaker
yeah ah Okay. Okay. President Obama continues to shamelessly wage class warfare. Today, he announced a steep new tax on shiny top hats. o Let's see what produces fold that it that. Come on, it's a boo again. Ah, jokes are going down. Okay, next one. Let's see what I like this one. what do you cold cheese but doest belong to you What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you? do Let's see what the producers thought of that. I liked it. of it. I'm one of the producers.
00:38:14
Speaker
the I need to find some good jokes here. Okay, so. he I wrote a story about a 17 year old kid. ah And he stole a plane, crashed it and survived. Now why don't we make the whole plane out of that kid? Just got it. Okay, so do you just fall? Oh, God. Oh, look at that. They liked it. They liked it.
00:38:47
Speaker
Okay my next one, that's your first point isn't it? There we go. Okay, my next joke. Waiter Waiter, there's a worm on my plate. Waiter, that's not a worm. Sir, it's your sausage. Let's see what the producer's for. That's not in love with you today though. What's going on with me? Okay. Okay, and this year is more of a service announcement. Okay. More than a joke. Warning to the Easter Bunny. Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
00:39:27
Speaker
Okay, so do you just fart, shall we? I'm very stupid. And they laugh. Don't go bo because of me, they know I'm coming up next. Okay, I've chosen this one. What do you call a dick with a carrot in each ear? Like the person dick from Dick and Dom in the Bungalow. Oh, okay, because you just had some eyebrows raised up in the studio. The producer's very slow paying attention then. Yeah, they go boom because of that, already. Okay, so one more time. Okay, let's go. What do you call a cool dick with a carrot in each ear? What do you call a dick with a carrot in each ear? I do not know.
00:40:10
Speaker
Anything you want, he can't hear you. Hey, I really like that one. How much for Jesus? says
00:40:19
Speaker
I've dug myself up so much, haven't I? I think there was a bit of an ego trip at the beginning. But like, the room went on. Yeah. No, I'm sure he doesn't want that one. I'm just going to use that one. Easy. I come and I go Tell me all the ways you'll meet me I'm not here for long
00:40:50
Speaker
I'll see you next time.
00:41:11
Speaker
Catch me or I go Houdini I come and I go Prove you got the right to please me Everybody knows Catch me or I go Houdini Have you got enough to find a way? Maybe you could cause a girl to change Do you think about it night and day? Maybe you could be the one to make me stay
00:41:52
Speaker
Maybe give it to me They say I come and I go Tell me all the ways you need me I'm not here for long Catch me or I go Houdini I come and I go Grove, you got the right to please me Everybody knows Catch me or I go Houdini If you're good enough, you'll find a way Maybe you could cause a girl to change
00:43:18
Speaker
Here we are back with the Jegfon Jokoff and with our trusted laugher meter in the next three minutes. Yes, we have with the producers. Tucked up with all our producers. Now, they say the world's a smaller place than it used to be, but I think that's an optical illusion based on the fact of me becoming a big fat guy. I was trying to laugh there. Well, let's see what the producers thought, shall we? They didn't like. That one. Okay. Are you any producers? I think you might be. Why did the monkey put a piece of steak on his head? Ooh. Why did he put a big piece of steak on his head? He thought he was a gorilla. Ah. Let's see what producers thought. Ah, no, and I don't want to hide her. What's wrong with you producers?
00:44:13
Speaker
you What's on the inside of bed? Looks like it. Yeah, it doesn't seem like they're having a good time. Yeah. OK, let me find a... I can't read that one, I'm afraid. OK.
00:44:38
Speaker
Okay, here we go. Okay. I used to think revenge was a dish best served cold. Okay. But then I re... can i Can I do that? Yes, shall we start? Sorry. Would you say you can? OK, here we go. I used to think revenge was a dish best served cold, but then I realised it meant getting back at somebody. OK, so would the producers think it was a... Oh, no! No points are on the board with this round. OK, my next one. Come on. What happens if you eat yeast, a shoe, polished before bed? Ooh, what would happen if you eat that before bed? In the morning, your wisens shine. Oh! Let's all just think. And it's... Yes! They like that one, they like it. They do like that.
00:45:37
Speaker
thank you thank you thank you very much okay uh i don't know if that's gonna go over okay luke why doesn't applebees call their appetizers apple-tizers don't know why don't i not call them apple-tizers and also why doesn't that waitress i met at tgi friday has ever called me back Don't know. Okay, let's see what Jesus fought. Here we go. Oh, no. We are on a... Okay. ...boo streak right now. Okay. Why did the baby onion cry? Why did the baby onion cry? Because his parents were in pickles. Oh, see? Let's see. It was a...
00:46:34
Speaker
Come on! We are not doing well at all here. I'm going to produce on the side of bed. I think they've got an issue obviously. they must have so morenna Maybe we need to look. what what what I'll tell you what we're going to do. We're going to look at this Lava Meter and see whether it is tracking. what they're doing appropriately here because we either these jokes are really really bad or maybe they've just done something to the laugh meter or that laugh meter is really really broken let's have a look at it whilst we have an ask bye jess clean i'll be your safe i'll be your only way and when you break i'll be your warm embrace
00:47:17
Speaker
And I'll be your bed so you can lay your head. I'll be that place you had all your mistakes. And even if I wanted to, your heart was bulletproof. And everything that we've been through couldn't even pull us through.
00:48:12
Speaker
Make it stop
00:48:31
Speaker
I couldn't even put love through Been wagging me down, wanna take it all off Face on the ground, wanna pick it all up Was praying for love but I wasn't in love Come with a pain, make it all
00:49:09
Speaker
My soul is precious, don't guess you don't even run it I'll take your purpose, you take me to burn it I get so emotional, you can't pray to have it You buy me diamonds, always run time it My soul is precious, don't guess you don't even run it Waking me down, wanna take it all off Face on the ground, wanna pick it all up Was praying for love, but it wasn't enough Done with the pain, woah
00:49:54
Speaker
We are back with a joke from we have had a look at the Lothmia and unfortunately it is working and yeah it's just some of our jokes. Our jokes aren't working but the Lothmia is working. Who's going first now on this round? ah You can go first.
Dark Humor Shift
00:50:12
Speaker
Why did the jelly wobble? Oh, why did the jelly wobble because it saw the milkshake Very clever and let's sort a Yeah with the producers
00:50:33
Speaker
go to you. Maybe they'll like this one. Albert Fish was born May 19th in New York City in 1870. He was known as the great man and the werewolf of wisteria. He was a serial killer who slayed children and ate them. When police asked a woman to describe him she said he was grey in both appearance and demeanor. The child rapist and cannibal Fish boasted that he had children in every state. He only chose victims who were either mentally handicapped or African American. Fish tortured, mutilated and murdered the youngsters with a meat cleaver. A butcher's knife and a small handsaw. Solidify in his reputation as the most vicious child slayer in criminal history.
00:51:19
Speaker
Though barely literate, Fish wrote taunting letters to the parents of his victims, gruesomely detailing how he slayed, butchered, cooked, and then with great enjoyment, dined on their offspring. He would inevitably declare that a child's roasted rump was the most twosome dish in all of gastronomy. Additionally, Fish was a masochist, and would insert wall doused with lighter fluid into his body and set it alight for his own enjoyment. Fish was finally arrested and he immediately began confessing to killing 700 children. He was dizzingly happy, smiling as he described the grisly details of the tortures, and the murders appearing to the detectives as the devil himself. I mean, this guy was a real jerk. Okay, let's see what Drew just forked. Come on! We are back! We're gonna allow for me to work in. We are back! Come on!
00:52:18
Speaker
OK, my next one. Luke, I don't want to tell you this now, but so far you have been on an absolute losing streak and you only have 10 points. And you? I fortunately have 40 points. OK, let's see if it lands on this one. Come on. How do you make holy water? How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it. Oh, I like it. Let's see.
00:52:48
Speaker
Oh, look, come on! Come back! Luke is on the comeback. OK. Now, Luke, I um picked up the newspaper the other day. And obviously, I'm going for it, and I looked to the back, and it had the obituaries. OK. So I had all the deaths in the local area. And it started concerning me, because um people are dying in alphabetical order.
00:53:21
Speaker
This little juicer's fork, and that is a... No, I've lost it. Okay, I've got one. Doctor, doctor, I'm really worried about my breathing, doctor. Well, soon I put stop to that. This little juicer's fork. Here you go. Oh, come on! They like it. They like it. He gets a streak now. They like that.
00:53:51
Speaker
So that i one, that's good. Okay, now, um obviously you know in America they've legalized um cannabis, marijuana in certain places. And veterinarians in Colorado have reported that marijuana use is on the rise amongst dogs. And they say that you will know if your dog is too high if he starts making a really tall sandwich. Obviously Scooby Doo, you see? Yep, OK. OK, let's see. OK, so what did you just say? See if there are any Scooby Doo fans. Hey! Come on! OK. I think this does my work. Doctor, doctor, my nose is running and my feet smell. Doctor, I think you might have been built upside down. Ooh. Does it work? Who knows? Let's see. And it's a...
00:54:47
Speaker
Oh no!
00:54:50
Speaker
I had a streak and now I lost it. Okay, so, I can't believe that. How we doped our left on this? Have you not? I don't know, what's the time yet? I'll tell you what, look, let's go to... Why aren't you crazy? Oh, it's Ashley. Look, Ashley, let's get out of here.
00:55:17
Speaker
Nobody taught me how to love That never made me feel like giving up Something aside, you said to be free
00:55:47
Speaker
Something about you makes me, me Driving me crazy Just me and my baby Yeah, you're that kind of lady
00:56:16
Speaker
Sometimes I question why we're here Just holding your hand takes away my fears Something inside you sets me free
00:56:46
Speaker
Something about you makes me wanna be me Driving me crazy
00:57:16
Speaker
Don't use for this, but it feels like something more And I know Yeah, I know Driving me crazy Just being my baby Yeah, you're that kind of lady
00:57:47
Speaker
Driving me crazy Driving me crazy Just me and my baby Yeah, you're that kind of lady Driving me crazy Driving me crazy