Transcript
Speaker: She dances naked through the trees and hear their eyes open She whispers prayers into the wind
Speaker: Raise the blade above the head And I'll begin to believe Jesus Oh, mortal in the sky Take this back, we're fine I wanna live forever And don't spill it in the earth Give me all your blood, maybe you'll
Speaker: Hey!
Speaker: Sir, can I help you? Do you have any weapons of any kind? Anything to defend yourself? Sir, this is a speedy mark. We have hot dogs too for a dollar. I just put them on the roller yesterday. They're pretty good. No, man. Like, something sharp. Something, like, I can stab to defend myself with. I've got some sharp cheddar combos over there. It's kind of like a rich cracker pregnant with a cheese baby.
Speaker: Well, let me just take one of these lighters and I'm going to borrow your bug spray and can I borrow your bathroom key as well? Uh, yeah, bathroom key. All right. I got your bathroom key right there. Make sure you bring that back and that'll be 1362 and I'm going to have to have exact same. So we're in a coin shortage at the moment.
Speaker: Whatever, man. Okay. Just that. Just that. Oh, I'm sorry.
Speaker: Oh shit, Chuck!
Speaker: I want to live forever And I'll spill it in the air Give me a little love Make me a good life
Speaker: Whoo! How about that? Blacktop Mojo to start your Saturday night. What's going on everybody? Welcome, welcome. It is Saturday, as I said. Welcome to nonsensical, nonsensical nonsense.
Speaker: As always, I'm your host hanging out with the one and only Jeff, author of Mine Hawk. Mine Hawk. I'm not on screen. Yeah, you are. Oh, there I am. There I am. Good school dog, guys. Hopefully everybody had a good week. We took a little break this week. Jeff got smacked in the face by a hurricane.
Speaker: Yeah, you're killing me on Wednesdays, bro. But we realized Saturday night, so it's all good.
Speaker: But yeah, you got hit with the hurricane and then I was going to go live by myself Thursday. And then I got sidetracked playing around with other things. And I literally went to go watch every time I went to go watch you live. Cause I was like, let's see what the fuck Chris was talking about. Every time I turned it on, it start and then the power fucking go off. It was driving me insane. Yeah. Cause like I said, my,
Speaker: I sent you the article. The fucking over 300 ,000 people in Cancun are out of power. We're out of power on Thursday. Yeah, something like that. I was in and out. It was so funny.
Speaker: I just couldn't find my rhythm and then I was sidetracked playing around with other things, doing some other stuff. So playing with the videos and the music and stuff like that. What you're saying is I'm the anchor that holds this thing. I wouldn't go that far because don't forget I've been doing standalone live for many years about yourself.
Speaker: Yeah, there's that fucking voice again that I've been telling you all week you need to chill
Speaker: about that. We were smashing back and forth. And my wife was like, what's he talking about? Because of course, all she heard was your audio. And I said, because you like, stop being fucking creepy. And I just melt in the closet. I showed my wife and she's like, what's he talk about you and creepy? I just played her my audios and then she's like, tell him this, tell him this. Speaking
Speaker: Speaking of talking on Facebook. Yeah, if you guys aren't already, check us out on social media at nonsense school nonsense on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube. Also, you can get all of our episodes of this podcast at Spotify, Google, Apple, pretty much anywhere you get podcasts at. But those are the three big ones. And if you want to email and then nonsensical nonsense podcast at Gmail dot com.
Speaker: Which I mean, if you paid attention, you would have seen this week that we actually did get emails. I did. I did see those. They were few and far between. No, no.
Speaker: Also, while we're at it, shout out to our guys in Blacktop Mojo. Congratulations on the new album. I think they've already had almost a half a million or over half a million streams from the Nuke for the new album already. So they're killing it. 250 ,000 of them are Chris. Probably. I listened to the album for probably the fifth or sixth time today on my way home from work.
Speaker: but uh, they're killing it and they're on the road right now. They did have some uh, some uh, technical difficulties with their bus the past couple of days. They unfortunately had to cancel a couple of shows because their bus broke down, but uh, they're back on the road tonight. So I, like I was telling you earlier, I started rewatching the people versus OJ Simpson and, and I, I still, the one thing that escapes me
Speaker: about the entire thing and I know it's been since 92 that this happened but throughout the entire trial no one says well if he didn't do it who the fuck did you know you know that's that's one of those things I mean people think he did people think he didn't whether he did or not you know
Speaker: at the end of the day, yeah. Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself and OJ did it. Well, again, I mean, that's one of those many, many mysteries that we will, uh, we'll probably never know the answer to. I know what, I know when we're going to find out. I'm not wishing you on anybody, but OJ is 74 years old right now. And, you know, the dudes
Speaker: drank a lot, he's done a bunch of coke, apparently according to the show that I'm watching. I don't expect a man to be around too long, so on his deathbed, he's gonna be like, fuck yeah, I did it.
Speaker: That or you know somebody else on their deathbed because he's there is there several theories behind it here We go talking about shit that happened in the 90s because that seems to be what we do Yeah, I actually have a co -host tonight but um
Speaker: No, there's a few theories behind that, that there was a serial killer behind it that has been on his little spree for several years now, but they can't find him because he bounces from state to state where most serial killers, you know, they generally have a tendency to stay in one area. They have their kill zone, their kill area. Well, areas they know.
Speaker: Yeah, so but this the one that one of the theories is this guy, you know, he's killed people in Florida and California and all up and down the southern coast and, you know, different things. So, you know, it'll, it'll be one of those mysteries that we will probably never have an honest to goodness answer to because even if OJ were to come out right now and say, yeah, I did it.
Speaker: And then he could turn around the next day and say, yeah, he could turn around the next day and go, no, I didn't. And there's nothing that anybody could really do or say. I mean, cause he did write that book. If I did kill them, you're fighting with us. Yeah. Summer's apparently fighting with a troll. Our troll from Saturday.
Speaker: No, I think like, I don't know. I don't, maybe she's talking about a real life troll. Oh. What's going on, Anthony Davis? Hey. Yeah. Oh yeah. Okay. So her, that, that boutique that she really likes, apparently that girl's, that, that lady is live right now as well. And there's a troll in there and summer's fighting with them. Where the hell were you when we had our troll? Jesus.
Speaker: Anthony. Oh, she's not live. Oh, it's just in the comments. Anthony said Judge Edo did it just so he could become famous. It was a whole conspiracy. The dude that plays Edo in the show is so good. I don't know who he is. I literally while I'm watching it, I was like pulling up images like what does Ben Shapiro or Bob Shapiro actually look like? Like that doesn't look at all.
Speaker: like fucking, uh, what's his name? Uh, John Travolta. Yeah. They got, they got a couple of people. Uh, I thought, uh, Dave Schwimmer did an amazing job as, uh, Robert Kardashian. Uh, you were sleeping like a normal person. What do you mean you were sleeping? And where was who released the night for the live? Oh yeah, she was sleeping. Yeah, we went.
Speaker: We, well, last Saturday we had a, we had a super late fucking start last Saturday. So yeah. Well, I mean, it was, I just don't understand why people, you know, are, are not just in my life, but in general, why people are so all over the place with, you know, just make a fucking decision. Are you, you know, like.
Speaker: last Saturday. Are they going to come over and spend the night tonight or are they not going to? Are you going to wait to get it tomorrow? I kind of want to know what's going on. I'm holding up a show. It's like me and moving in my bed. I was getting ready to send you gifts of people, people tapping on her watch. She's like sending him a gift. He sent you gifts of the bastard
Speaker: Well, see, that's the great thing. I can do whatever I want. I'm the host. I am, I am God. I make the rules. I say what does or doesn't. I was, I was so pissed last set or, uh, Wednesday. I would, well, what was it, uh, Monday when I got the mic?
Speaker: I went, I got the mic, I got everything I needed to connect to the fucking laptop, I got everything I needed to make the laptop work, and then the fucking laptop didn't want to turn on. Yeah, well, I was going to say, you just got to get that laptop, you got to get that laptop figured out, and then you'll be really set. I think it all comes down to the laptop itself. I don't want to say it out loud, but I think it's time for a new laptop. But it could be the fact that
Speaker: The power adapter I got for it just was not good enough. Well, like I was telling you, I mean, it could be like the battery pack or the charging port or something. And I'm by no means am I a computer tech or a squad member or anything like that. I just know what I went through with an old laptop I had and
Speaker: We got a new battery for it. And then that didn't work. And what it was was the connections. So I was able to actually just buy new connections and hook it all up and go that route with it. I think what I'm going to have to do is take it over. I'm a computer tech. I can take it over too. He's a real cool guy. He speaks perfect English. And 90 % of the time I can say something like, yeah, exactly. Like, okay, then how do I do that? It's like four buttons and it fucking works. I'm like,
Speaker: I don't know if I would have known those four buttons, but he literally teaches me as he's fixing it. So he says, the next time this happens, you don't fucking call me. I'm like, say bunny, learn something. I mean, yeah, right. But yeah, my, my, my new YouTube venture is taking a heck of a lot longer than I thought. That's, that was one of the reasons why I bought the mic as well.
Speaker: not only for the podcast but I want to I bought a mic not for the podcast. No, I bought it for the podcast but as soon as I bought it for the podcast, my wife was telling me she you know, I've been wanting to do a YouTube channel for the longest time and the problem was with what I want to do on a YouTube channel costs money because I want to build anything anything you want to do how you are
Speaker: Okay, well, summer says I'm a tool, not a god. But yeah, that's the thing. I mean, anything you want to do where you want to potentially make money off of, whether it be the podcast or YouTube channel or whatever, you're going to have to put a little bit of money out there in the beginning to get the proper setup and get the proper things you need. You know, but I'm not talking about setup. Like I wanted to build stuff out of wood, like carpentry style video.
Speaker: And I started doing the math and like I was gonna do like redo the kitchen, the closet that I just built, the bed frame and all that stuff. And that's all fine and good but would cost money. And with the price of wood right now, the closet that I just built cost me like four times what it should have. Like if I would have built it in 2019.
Speaker: it would have cost me a third of what I paid to build the same closet. And it's literally three sheets of plywood to build the shelf, build the closet. And it's half inch plywood and it cost me, what was it? Each sheet of plywood was $37 for half sheet of plywood. And it's not even like
Speaker: you know, really nice faced. It's it's construction grade plywood. It's not something that you would like show off to the world. Well, everything has has just gone through the roof as far as prices of material. I mean, even stuff that that we're using at work for
Speaker: Well, yeah, but I mean like when we do like enclosures or Ridge Van or whatever I mean even the metal and stuff like that. It's just it's it's crazy insane Yeah, well and that's why like the new idea for the YouTube channel is I'm gonna do classic movie reviews like I was telling you You know, I sent you that seven -minute video that is only about half done
Speaker: It's kind of like that but I'm thinking about doing voiceover style and so I'm still figuring it out but the nice thing is I can do 50 movies and with the equipment I have, it won't cost me anything to do those 50 videos. You know what I mean? Where if I did 50 videos on building shit, I'd have to A, think of something new to build and
Speaker: and then C actually build it and you would have to A put in the work. Well, no but no putting in the work of building it and editing it. That's easy stuff but the cost of the wood would would bankrupt us before I would start seeing money back. You know what I mean? Well, the price of stuff lately. You start with small projects, man.
Speaker: don't have small projects again stop worrying about your tiny dick and and if you want to build something you want to do something the stuff I need are the projects I want to do like I want to do I need to redo my kitchen because the
Speaker: When they built these houses, they use the cheapest material they can. So they used MDF for the cabinetry. So what happens when MDF gets wet, Chris? You know this. Question from the chatters box, Jeffrey. Yeah. Anthony would like to know, why don't you just do porn? You know what? And this brings us into our next subject.
Speaker: I seriously thought about doing the only fans like we talked about on Saturday. But Chris, if you want to. Yeah. We had talked about this a couple of weeks ago, but it's finally come down that only fans is doing away with their porn, which is I don't know. It's one of those things.
Speaker: that's what's known. Yeah. Well, yeah. Well, like you and I talked about in videos. Yeah. Yeah. We we talked about it a couple of weeks ago and you know, that's where their bread and butter is. Right. But here's the problem. Here's the other issue with it. Some credit card companies are not allowing you to use your credit card on porn. Oh, that's where the problem is. So that's what PayPal. So
Speaker: Um, to a certain degree, but, um, but yeah, so there, because, and there's people, there's people on only fans that don't do porn.
Speaker: There are 95 % of it is porn, but at the same sense, all these threes and fours, I think they're sexy and spend an entire day promoting their OnlyFans. Now I actually have to read it a couple weeks back when I was promoting on Reddit. I stumbled onto the OnlyFans promote page and there's some people on there. I saw a dude on there. He's making five grand a month.
Speaker: But the dude looks like a fucking elephant man. And I'm like, hey, if he can do it, I will dab naked and make a million. Yeah, right. But yeah, I just can't do it. Yeah. But like I said, like all these all these dumb bitches that
Speaker: We're empowering ourselves by being naked. Well, first of all, no, you're not. Second of all, they're also only charging like $3. They're charging $3 for the OnlyFans subscription. And then right now they have it 60 % off. A lot of them are going to have to go get real jobs now. I think Summer posted a meme on our Facebook page that said that
Speaker: all these restaurants that are having a server shortage or about to have too many employees or something like that. But yeah, Anthony said, Anthony said, and I was I was actually getting there, the new the new rules for only fans is you can do teaser stuff. So anything that's PG or PG 13. Wow.
Speaker: Um, you just can't do, um, yeah, you just can't do basically full blown porn anymore. Um, just through YouTube channel. Well, yeah, exactly. And, and I think what it is, and Anthony apparently is, is hacked into my brain right now. Uh, a lot of time on the only fans. Well, um, what they're trying to do is become
Speaker: they're trying to become like a legit mainstream media type thing. Like Patreon. Yeah, exactly. They're trying to become the new Patreon. So you got, you know, Anthony said crowdsourcing. He's much smarter than you and I, so he uses big fancy words. But, you know. We just dumb it down because we know our audience. And we're not too smart in the first place. Yeah. Well,
Speaker: Okay. I was trying to take a shot. Yeah. Okay. Whenever I guess we're not smart. You don't want to take a shot at our fans. Take a shot at us. Stop calling them fans. We don't have that many in the first place. Let's not alienate the ones we do. Jesus. We'll go down from four to two. Just us. We'd be our only fans. Hey, there's our only fans. We are only fans. We are our only fans.
Speaker: My fiance is fucking hot as hell. I just want to put that out there. What's up, dude? Send me all these pictures. Your fiance could walk in right now to my house.
Speaker: And I'd still be like, what's up, dude? Summer said she's not a fan. She has to be here. She's morally obligated. She's taking notes for the future divorce.
Speaker: Summer said I have to be here because I'm engaged to the host. I'm not afraid. Yeah, a while back, Tumblr took all their porn and nudity and stuff off of there. And didn't that site just completely go to shit? Exactly. That's what's going to happen to OnlyFans. When you say OnlyFans, you think of boobies. Well, yeah. Well, I mean, you remember a few years ago, you're like, oh, so you get naked on camera.
Speaker: You don't say, oh, no, I'm going to have a woodworking show on OnlyFans. Sure you do, buddy. Do you do it, naked? I have an OnlyFans. Oh, yeah, what is it? You know, I cook. In the nude? No, I'm a chef. No, seriously. Like, no. No, it's a real show. It's a real cookie show. Sure. I'm not, bro. Go ahead, say it.
Speaker: but that's when you say only fans that's what I think I think oh yeah but yeah you basically do point I don't know what Fiverr is I knew what tumblr was Anthony was in the comments he said Fiverr is still around but tumblr was kind of like uh uh uh what's it the where you swipe right it's called uh like tinder no that's tinder no I thought tumblr was just like tumblr i think i think um
Speaker: I have no idea. First of all, first of all, I have never paid for porn in my entire life. No, XNXX is for. Summer said, I don't know why she said Chris. She said, sorry, Chris, you have to go back to our videos. I've spent a lot of money on a lot of dumb shit, but I've never spent one dime on seeing some chick naked. No. Summer said, sorry, Chris, you have to go back to our videos. I've gone to strip them, but I've never paid for anything. I used to work on a strip club store.
Speaker: Well, I know, but I went to strip clubs for like... Coming to the stage! Ladies, give it up for... GLICK! Please, give it up for... GLICK! TUR! First of all, just so you know, summer, I use our videos when we think... It's GLICK! TUR! Yeah. GLICK! TUR! Yeah, that's all. That's your poor name.
Speaker: I'm going to say summer's summer stripper name is summer black. Fiverr is a site where you can hire people to do stuff for five dollars or above depending on what you want or need them for real. Really? I need to hire somebody to come clean my fucking house. Here's five dollars. Go rob a bank. Yeah. Go rob a bank and bring me the money. Well, that's like that that guy that I told you about. He was on a
Speaker: he put himself on the stock exchange and He his stockbrokers basically had to tell him what like the stockholders told him what to do with every aspect of his life Wasn't that on a TV show? Yeah, it was on Boston legal Yeah, but well, you know back to the back to the only fans thing you remember a few years back when Playboy was like we we're not we're not gonna do nudity anymore we're gonna become a legit magazine and
Speaker: And I think they still had nudity on their website, but you had to pay for it or whatever. As soon as they said that, or as soon as they started doing that, they're fucking, yeah, they just dropped. And then they're like, oh, just kidding. Bring back the titties. You know what I think's going to happen? When is this only fans going PG -13 supposed to happen again?
Speaker: I honestly, I don't know the exact date because again, I don't, I joke about creating an OnlyFans page, but in all honesty, seriously, if I created an OnlyFans page, it's just going to be me eating because, again, today, our fat asses. Oh my God. So I mean. You're telling me what you're eating. I'm filling up my bowl with more spaghetti. Yeah. You had what?
Speaker: Uh, you had four, four and a half, four and a half bowls of spaghetti. Meanwhile, my big ass eats a pound of steak and a two pound potato, almost a two pound potato.
Speaker: and two years of cardiologists working. Right, right now, right now, right now we've got an influx of viewers and it's all cardiologists. I'm gonna make a shit ton of these two assholes. Check your account for what?
Speaker: Oh, apparently summer has an only fan. If you got an only fancy, you're making money. Oh, hell working. Why am I working for? Well, like, my wife and I joked about, like, my wife has very pretty feet, as far as feet go. And, and people have commented on her feet, like, because she showed a picture on her Instagram of like, she had gotten her nails done and got a
Speaker: And Jeff runs out. He got paid, I'm assuming. And there goes Jeff. He's gone. He's out of here. His wife pulled the plug. He started, she started, he started talking about her. She pulled the plug, said, nope, not going to happen. It's beginning. What's going on?
Speaker: I'll give it a minute or two and see if Jeff can get back. No, I don't think I could. I don't think I could. I would find something to do. If I had a house, I would actually do stuff around the house. But no, I mean, if I was a stay -at -home dad,
Speaker: Which 2 more podcasts stuff to be honest. I would focus so much on this. Why the kids are at school and have a studio and learn. More, you know, as I've already said that I may. Go back to school here. Relatively soon. For communications. I don't know what is going on with my. Signal site, but it's.
Speaker: Yeah, I just see that. My signal's off. Fucking walking trip. What's going on? Would that be for technical difficulties? Or whatever. Please stand by. We are experiencing technical difficulties.
Speaker: Maybe it'll come back, we'll see. Or not. Fuck, I don't know. I'm a live on Facebook if I could, but I'm afraid that Facebook will completely shut us the fuck down if we're just solely live on there.
Speaker: you do you know you can't say you should on Facebook hey I'm back and Jeffers maybe Jeffers maybe back I had to I have to wait for my router to reset
Speaker: which is what takes the longest when the power goes out, which is why when you went live the other day, I couldn't see you, because every time I tried to see you, the fucking, the power would go out, and I'm like, damn it! And then I'd have, by the time the router reset, the power would go out again. So now, I gotta bring up the video again.
Speaker: was just like, just flicker and on and off. Yeah, it's, I did look at your message. What the hell did you do? It, uh, what did you say? It's one of those summer just got put in Facebook jail. Nice. It's, uh, I dunno, it was like, uh, it was like, uh, it was a split second. Like the lights only, the lights dimmed more than actually went out. You know what I mean?
Speaker: Yeah, you can't. Summer told a guy to eat a bag of dicks. Yeah, that'll do it. How long in Facebook jail? Summer told a guy to eat a bag of dicks on Facebook and wind up in Facebook jail. No, I like I told you, you know, I got put in Facebook jail for 24 hours because all I did was
Speaker: uh, share our page in the comments on, uh, on Kevin Holly show, you know, I just was like, Oh, if you want to listen to a podcast, it doesn't take breaks. Come check us out right now. I say that, but now we now, now as we talked about, we will be doing a break. Yeah. Just, uh, just like a five minute, five minute. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: We are coming up with that now that now that you've you've discovered some new things via laptop work discussion. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, so I mean, we're gonna we're gonna start doing breaks, you know, sometimes as we go more than two hours, sometimes we go three hours, sometimes we go four hours, but I figure at that hour mark, if we can
Speaker: Kind of break it up. And that allows me when I edit and put the show together to put on to Spotify and whatnot, it makes it a little bit easier for me when I split it. Plus instead of having a full two or three hour long show, we can do like an hour, an hour and a half. And then just add an intro break it up a little bit.
Speaker: Stop messing with your cameras. It's fine just the way it is. No, I was worried about my charger. I have my charger plugged in because my battery seems to want to die lately. Well, that's because you got one of those old ass stuff. No, my phone's great. It's like the charger itself. I think the connection where you plug the charger in is loose. I can get a brand new charger in it and I have to fuck with it before it starts to charge.
Speaker: Nothing. That's because you don't flex it back and forth. Yeah, that's because you don't put your phone down when you charge it and you wiggle that thing loose. So that's not me. That's my kids. That's why my kids aren't like, oh, no more. Yeah. But so you guys are still having power issues down there. Well, like I said, what I was telling you on Messenger, what happens is they'll they'll win in our area.
Speaker: Which is which is like 10 square miles is as our section of the grid They had 50 poles down and what they'll do is they'll turn to leave the power on they'll send five teams to five different poles and Once they're all in positions. They okay go They'll kill the power put up the new poles get everything connected and then turn the power back on Test everything then go to the next five poles and do it again
Speaker: So that way people's food doesn't go bad with bridges and all that stuff. Because 50 poles is not a quick 20 -minute fix. They don't have that many teeth. Why don't you be more authentic? You do live in Mexico. They don't say, OK, let's go. They say, hooray. Pamanos. Well, I told my wife, I said, you know what?
Speaker: If I if I ever makes a money online, I'm gonna fucking buy me solar power and just cut the fucking jar from Yeah, Anthony said he got he got in trouble on Facebook They blocked him for 12 hours because he did a live stream where he was showing how he checked his blood sugar It's cuz he showed blood
Speaker: Basically because I would why you were having your technical difficulties I was having issues on my end too and I was saying, you know if I wasn't so afraid of us getting kicked on Facebook because they're so Sensitive right now I we would just do the live on Facebook, but then at the same time that doesn't allow us to multicast but It doesn't allow us to curse either real
Speaker: I think I think that's that's why we haven't gotten blocked on Facebook is because we're not on Facebook, so to speak. I mean, we are.
Speaker: Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, I think they're like, well, there's someone's going to see him somewhere. The technical difficulties that could be too, the technical difficulties and whatnot with, with haps and the connection and this and the other thing has kind of been wearing a little bit thin on me lately, just in general, just, uh,
Speaker: because we notice it when we're live and it not only does it kind of disrupt the flow, but at the same time, when I put it up onto the different podcast platforms, it's on there as well.
Speaker: so and there's nothing I can do about it unless I completely wipe out segments or parts or whatever but then it's like we're talking about olefans and right in the middle of talking about olefans all of a sudden we're talking about fucking power outage in Mexico exactly so it's it's it's uh the only other option would be to do it over like a zoom call
Speaker: but the problem with that is there's no chatter's box. Well, there's no chatter box and it's pretty much pre -recorded. Yeah, it'd be pre -recorded and it just wouldn't be as fun. It would still be fun for us, but it wouldn't be... I'm marking the fact that we have the interaction with the chatter's box for the simple fact, if we don't know something, which...
Speaker: that would literally fit in the Grand Canyon. But if we don't know a word or something, somebody in the chatters box would be like, oh, you're talking about this. And we're like, yeah, that's what we're talking about. A few weeks back, we were talking about, you were talking about fucking air supply. And for the life of me, I could not think of the name of the goddamn band. All I Love, by the way. You are just, after you sang,
Speaker: A couple of weeks ago, you are so anxious to sing on here again. Tonight we were talking before the show and you're like, Brown's 2021 Super Bowl champ. I like your enthusiasm, Theo.
Speaker: You're like, I'm carrying this mic around and I just want to sing. So, I mean, if you want me to sing on the podcast, I mean, I'll sing. Although the mic, this isn't the style of mic I wanted. I wanted the, like the classic Elvis mic that, you know, the one in the logo I sent you.
Speaker: I want one of those, but it's like $600. And I'm like, you know what? I'm not spending $600 on a fucking mic for nothing. No. Well, maybe if I was fucking Jeff Bezos, I'd be like, OK, I'll buy one. Yeah, you're not going to be able to do anything on Facebook until tomorrow night, baby.
Speaker: blocked from comment and just get in your, uh, get in your, uh, uh, what is that fucking thing called where you can, what you're always posted in it, Jeff, the stories, your Facebook story. It's about the only thing you can do. Oh, really? Wow. That's what you've done. I don't, I don't literally post in Facebook stories. I post on Tik TOK and it automatically loads to my Facebook stories. All right. Well, that's what, that's what Kevin's been doing because that's the only thing he can't do.
Speaker: So he sent me a message. He sent me a message to like share it. Don't post it. And I was like, what? I didn't even look at it.
Speaker: because I was like, I got 40 fucking things going on right now. I don't have time to look up. I'm already looking at other political shit on YouTube and Facebook anyways. I don't think I'm already on Twitter raging out right now. Speaking of Twitter, which I'm telling you, I literally got on Twitter today and I started reading stuff and I was like,
Speaker: No, I'm not gonna comment on the fact Go to our Twitter page and be active on there. There's not any
Speaker: political bullshit on there. I follow, on our page, I followed a lot of other podcasts. I'm gonna follow some sports stuff. There's no political, there's nothing political on our Twitter page. So there's no reason to read right now. My Twitter page, I follow everything political, like ridiculous retard. I know, that's why I said go on our Twitter page and you can comment on people's stuff and be like, hey, listen to our podcast. Hey, here's our podcast. Hey, have you ever heard a nonsensical nonsense? Funnyest podcast you've never heard of.
Speaker: Yeah. I find that tagline is just perfect for us because we are funny and nobody's heard of us. Well, I mean, we've got that. The words are hard. I mean, those are ideal. I would love to get those two things on something, a sticker or a shirt or a hat. Speaking of which, did you set up the PayPal on the t -shirt?
Speaker: No, I haven't done anything on Teespring because nobody wants merchandise. We don't have anybody asking for it. So I just it's set up and it's there and you know, I'll get around to it eventually. Meanwhile, I well, I could be designing t -shirts all day long. Well, you could also be promoting and get a larger fan base. I can promote the shit out of it. I promoted the shit out of part two of 33 today like crazy. So to the point where I only got
Speaker: I only got rejected by three places. One of them was a, what was it? It was a Ford Haters group. And I was like, come on, you guys literally have hate in the name. And I sent your data. I sent your data post. I sent you a
Speaker: This guy got a tattoo of a Ford logo, breaking out a brick on his arm. Somebody commented, imagine jerking off, it breaks, now you gotta call your buddy to finish. I thought it was so funny, so I said it to your pops. Nice. I was like, yeah, put this on your F -350, there you go. Yeah, right.
Speaker: I was talking to my dad because I was talking I was talking about the extension and What is your stance on on a red car? Like would you drive a red car? I mean, I don't care That people saw some people like myself. I will not own a red car to save my life well, I don't care but I also know that with red cars and
Speaker: Typically your insurance is more and I get you over a lot and yeah, and you're more likely to get pulled over in a red car Beautiful Silverado that is bright fire engine red and Red is a beautiful color on vehicle. But every time I had a I had a 93 s10 with my 327 Corvette motor in it
Speaker: And I don't know if it was the fact that I had a 327 straight piped with no exhaust or if it was the fact that it was bright fire engine red, but I got pulled over in that truck all the time. Literally the day I took it out for the first time I got pulled over and it was at night. I am no detective. No Sherlock Holmes. You're definitely not Watts. No.
Speaker: Watson, not Watts. Um, but I would be willing to bet when you got pulled over, you either a, we're doing burnouts or be speeding. No, on both accounts that didn't just exactly what happened. They pulled me over because, uh, my girlfriend at the time. Her and I, I finished the truck and we had gone to dinner.
Speaker: And on the way out, she had, we actually went to go, I won tickets on Y105, you know, the radio station. I won tickets to go to a comedy show. So we went to dinner and then went to the comedy show. At the comedy show, they did not card us. We were 18. So my girlfriend, I being the designated driver, I was like, well, I'll just drink soda, whatever. But my girlfriend had like six screwdrivers, you know, vodka and orange juice.
Speaker: And she was, she mentioned, she said something in the truck. We got on, we got onto 13 right as it comes out of Richland mall. And she said something like, wow, all those drinks hit me. I'm kind of horny. And I made a joke like, well, I'll pull over right here. And I jerked the truck a little bit. And the cops went woo. Cause I, so you gave them a reason. I gave them a reason, but they pulled me over and they were like, they, they were like, do you know why we pulled you over? I was like, wasn't that joke I made?
Speaker: And they're like, the joke you made, I said, I swerved. They're like, yeah. I'm like, yeah. And I explained what happened. And they're like, yeah, don't do jokes like that. I was like,
Speaker: Yeah, it was funny. Yeah. You pulled out of a comedy club probably pretty late at night. Yeah. It was like two o 'clock in the morning. We left early because it was going to serve alcohol. Yeah. Yeah. That serves alcohol. And then you come out and you're like, well, we, we left the comedy club was, was a good 20 blocks from Richland mall, but I was hit. We were heading to her house to drop her off and.
Speaker: We pulled out of Richland Mall right there on to 13 and we had maybe gone maybe a quarter mile from that. And I wasn't really beating on the truck because it was new motor and all that stuff. And I literally, she made that joke and I did that. Well, I'll just pull over right here. And I maybe moved the whole truck, maybe a foot to the left and then back.
Speaker: And they're like, oh, this motherfucker drunk as fuck. And I was like, yeah, exactly. And I made the cop laugh. I said, dude, if you would have been in the truck, you would have laughed because she said she was feeling frisky. And I said, well, I'll pull this truck over right here. We'll take care of this. I got an eight foot bed. It doesn't have to be made. So that is funny. Don't make jokes like that. I'm like, how come?
Speaker: Summer's in here. Summer's in here busting her balls. She said you probably didn't get pulled over and she probably paid for dinner. Actually, no, the whole the whole night was free. The whole night was free. That's why Jeff went because it was free. No, I was working. I was working at there's a there's a dealership right right out on Ashland Road called USA Motors.
Speaker: and it's a used car dealership and I was working there as I would literally clean all the cars. I detailed cars because I had a detailing company and that was based on my operations and people bring the cars in and I detailed the cars on a lot. I would detail the cars on a lot for five bucks a piece but people pull in their car and pay $50 for me to detail their car. And while I worked, I had the radio on and
Speaker: I ran into the office one day and I was like, I know the answer. And I'm dialing the phone. The boss is like, what the fuck are you doing? Why did you just grab my phone? I'm like, I know the answer to the quiz on why would a five? He's like, what? I was like, shut up, Mark. Anthony said I had a 74 Red Dotson station wagon.
Speaker: when he was a teenager, no one bothered me because it backfired everywhere. After I got rid of the S -10, I sold the S -10, the guy that wrote it, and I bought a red Dodge Neon. And of course I put maybe $15 ,000 underneath the hood of that. And being bright red, I could be doing double nickel 55 right down the road and get pulled over.
Speaker: but it was very rare that I was doing 55 anyways. Yeah, I was going to say, like I said, knowing you like I know you, knowing you like I know you, and as our audiences got to know you, I know that you have probably the worst case of Napoleon. Napoleonic conference, yeah. Yeah, more than the main - Well, I got banned from high school from driving to school for like six months because while leaving the high school parking lot.
Speaker: Yeah, while leaving the parking lot, everybody does burnouts when they leave. Well, I did a burnout so long that it took 10 minutes for the people behind me that could leave because the smoke was so bad. Not everybody did burnouts when they left. Only because your truck couldn't do it. Okay, first of all, my truck could and would do it. It's a lot of work to get 44s to spin. Yeah, but it would.
Speaker: but you talk about not like my Astro minivan. Yeah. You talk about getting pulled over for no reason, man. Nerd cops used to fuck with me constantly in that Bronco because a it was lifted so high. Yeah. B. Yeah. Which, you know, that's why I went right after I bought it from, from, uh, what was that kid's name? Bobby, Bob, Brian, right after I bought it from him.
Speaker: Uh, and I lifted it more than what it was already lifted. I put a body lift on it to drop the bumpers down. Right. So the, the bumpers were like a half inch below where they were supposed to be because that's, and that was intentionally why I put that body lift on it. And then we straight piped it because, you know, I'm not a mechanic, but I had friends of mine that were mechanics and they're like,
Speaker: straight pipe in here like that sounds like you do realize that uh the truck sounded badass oh yeah well but they're like straight pipe is basically literally taking things off and putting a pipe from the from the uh headers straight back that's literally all oh yeah no i don't yeah no i don't i don't want to discuss
Speaker: because you did and because my truck was so old, I didn't have to have a catalytic converter or anything like that. So, your cops used to you get pulled over for being too high. I had the exact opposite problem with my S10. I get pulled over for being too low.
Speaker: Yeah. Well, it was a truck's too high, noise ordinance, blah, blah, blah. Newark cops used to fuck with me constantly. But you were saying how you got pulled over coming out of that comedy club. Well, there used to be three bars here in Newark. They were called the corner bars. And one of the bars, I knew everybody that worked in there. And I used to just go in there and hang out. Believe it or not, I didn't go in there to drink. I was like the unofficial bouncer there.
Speaker: So I would just go in there and just fucking hang out. I knew all the bartenders, I knew the owners, this, that, and the other thing. I got stopped one night coming out of there. I think Courtney, we only had our oldest daughter at the time, my ex -wife. They were out of town and I was like, oh, fucking, I'm bored. I'm gonna go hang out down at Tony's and shoot your shit for a little bit. And I came out of there at like three o 'clock in the morning
Speaker: And when you come out of Tony's, when you come out of the parking lot, you go across the street and yeah, there's like a little seven, 11 quickie, Mart, whatever fuck it is sold for 24 hours. I think it's a circle K now, but, uh, so I just pulled in there. I was going to get a, I was going to get a Pepsi on my way home. And as soon as I turned into a parking lot, fucking Newark PD fucking swarm me like I was fucking.
Speaker: Yeah, they caught the FBI's America's number one, most wanted criminal. And I was like,
Speaker: And I didn't have my truck at that time. I had this old, it was like a 90 something Pontiac Sunfire convertible. I love that fucking car. But it was like a 91, 92 Sunfire. And I had the convert, I had the top down and I like got out of the car and as I was getting out of the car, they're like, get back in the car. Don't fucking move. I was like, what the fuck?
Speaker: What the ****? Did I fail the Pepsi challenge? I was like, what the ****? So, I'm sitting there and I got, I'm like, got my hands on the steering wheel. I'm like, what's going on, guys? They're like, just stay put and I'm like, Jesus Christ. So, then the cop comes up and he's like, yeah, he was like, asking me all these stupid questions like, how much you had to drink tonight? And I was like,
Speaker: Uh, in all honesty, I had one beer like seven hours ago, you know, and actually that was before I went to the bar. Like I was at home and I had one or two beers with dinner and then I went to the bar and then I just went out. I didn't drink anything while I was there. And then I wanted me to do, anytime you leave a bar, they're like, there's no way in hell this guy's sober. Yeah. Those cops are cops. So then they wanted me to do like all these stupid human tricks. Oh yeah. Jeff looks like a sweaty balsay.
Speaker: and uh that's from summer um and I was like I was like guys I would love to do all your tricks and and dance for you but I really can't because I I was actually off work at the time because I twisted my knee all the shit I was like but I was like I I've got one good leg they're like oh you're lying to get up
Speaker: Yeah, and I was like, and I had all my doctors paperwork's like, cause I hurt myself at work. Cause I had everything in my car and I was like, here's everything. So after like 15 minutes of dealing with these assholes, because back in the day, I can't vouch for the nerd cops now because my only interaction I've had with them since I've been home was actually, other than the situation was they were actually really cool. But back then, so after about, I don't know, 10, 15 minutes of dealing with these assholes. The less, the less aggressive they get.
Speaker: Yeah, well, the last interaction I had with them was because I called them. But they're like, you got any weapons on you? And I'm like.
Speaker: no no you got grenades rocket launchers yeah they're like you got any grenades rocket launchers but i was like what the fuck are you talking about i'm like yeah i have a whole arsenal do i look like yeah i was like i got a whole fucking arsenal i got a whole arsenal in the trunk of my 1992 Pontiac Sunfire you know do i look like this is actually the night rider car it's just
Speaker: Yeah, I know it's not a firebird. I know. So I'm like, what the fuck is going on? Y 'all are out of your fucking minds right now. Do I look like a criminal mastermind? Do I look like a heavy arms dealer? Again, I'm driving a 92 Pontiac Sunfire. No white guy drives a Pontiac.
Speaker: So I had to deal with them and kind of go back and forth. So I had to deal with them and go back and forth. And I finally reached the point where, you know, I'm a smart ass. So then I was just being a complete smart ass and being a dick. Two state troopers pull up into the parking lot and I'm like, oh, fuck my life. And they're like, what's going on here? And Newark cops start talking to them and they come up to me and they're like, get in your car.
Speaker: And I'm like, I'm not getting in my car because I don't know what's, what's happening. They're like, get in your car. Yeah. They're like, get in your car. And, and he, the one, the one trooper was like, you follow him and I'm going to follow you. And I was like, uh, okay. So they told me to go up the road and around the corner. And I was like, these fucking troopers are going to kill me. So we go for it. We're taking you out of this space. So they don't have to bury the body.
Speaker: So I go, I'm like, okay, so I follow the cop, we pull into this parking lot and they're like, where are you going? And I was like, well, I live in Elick, you know, Elick's about 15 years from here. And they're like, okay, well, our shift's almost over and the state trooper post was ever on down the road from Elick. And they're like,
Speaker: We're going to escort you home and then we're going to go clock out for the night. And I was like, uh, okay, cool. So they did, man. They like, I had one, I had a cruiser in front of me and a cruiser behind me all the way back to my apartment. And then we get back to my apartment and they're like, there's fucking nerd cops are assholes. And they're like, if we had our way, we would just beat all their ass. Meanwhile, the whole way, all of like.
Speaker: At any moment, I'm going to get pit maneuvered because between Newark and Alec is a lot of fun. It's a lot of country, a lot of farm land. I'm like, I'm going to get pit maneuvered into a fucking ditch and just get put down. And all I did was go hang out with my friends at the bar and I didn't even drink. The funny thing is my wife and I have have an unofficial way of getting out of
Speaker: issues when I get pulled over here. We were driving in Malibu one day and there's a section of the road where there's the one road it's it's called Nino's Heroes and like every seems like 100 yards there's a fucking stoplight and if you don't catch the first one on green you will stop for 20 minutes at each one to go the five miles that you need to go to get from one end down to the other.
Speaker: And I caught the green, the first green just barely, like it was going from yellow. And I'm like, nah, it's still pink. It's not fully red yet. And I got to the next one and it turned red about the car halfway being underneath the light. And I got pulled over and my wife's like, I told you, you should have stopped. You should have just waited. And I'm like, yeah, well, what are we going to do? Whatever.
Speaker: So the cop comes out and the weird thing is here, you actually are supposed to get out of your car. It's the weirdest thing ever. You get out of the car, close the door behind you and be like, what's up officer? And so I get out of the car and I have the windows down and the kids are in the backseat and I can hear my wife screaming at me and I know the cop can hear it.
Speaker: and she planned it perfectly. She's screaming at me in English and she's literally saying stuff like, I love you and I can't believe this is happening and this is amazing and we're going to get out of this. You watch this. She's screaming stuff like this in English. So I understand everything she's saying, but she's saying it in the in a tone of voice that is just sounds like she's ripping my guts out.
Speaker: with her bear claws. And the cops like, wow, you got bigger issues than me. Just stop at yellows and go home. Like, all right, see you later. Because she's yelling at me in English. He doesn't speak English. And he's just like, you know what? I ain't got time for this shit. Go. So every time we hold over, I'm like, just start yelling.
Speaker: And I got, I got back in the car and she started, he drives away first and she starts laughing her asses off. And I was like, she's like, I said, what the hell was that? She's like, my, her stepdad used to be a cop. And he's like, and the cop that pulled it over was on a motorcycle. She's like, all the motorcycle cops don't speak English. It's like a prerequisite.
Speaker: like none of the motorcycle cops speak English. And so I knew when we got pulled over with my motorcycle cop that I could just scream at anything I wanted as long as it's an English and he's just gonna freak out and be like, you know what, I ain't got time for this shit. Yeah, just go home. It ain't worth the $5 payoff. You can literally slip the cop five, 10 bucks and he'd be like, yeah, whatever, go ahead. Yeah, I was gonna say Mexico,
Speaker: I've gotten away with a lot of shit. Don't you tag people. But on that note, as I say in the biz, we're up against it. Or take a little break, guys. I'm going to go fry some chicken, grab a couple more brewskis. Tell my kids to go get it. Jeff's going to go tell his kids good night. We'll be right back in about five minutes. So on that note, OK, what did I do? Give me this much time.
Speaker: Yeah. Enjoy some more blacked out mojo off their new album. Got some taillights for you. There we go.
Speaker: That look that's on your face It leads me to a sooner rate of chance I know what I feel like Well please darling just say something I need to understand Well tell me why it is you're leaving
Speaker: of the street.
Speaker: I searched the house and hope you left something But I didn't find nothing at all I thought maybe if there's something you've forgotten Well at least I'd have a reason to cry And as I paced around I realized
Speaker: Yeah, Kevin!
Speaker: Oh
Speaker: I'm watching you tell your fate Up the street as the sun seems low You can bring me thunder Go, go You don't have to be this way You know I hate to be alone You can bring me thunder
Speaker: Yeah, Kevin! Song's over! Song's over, it's time for bed. Really? Yeah. That's the delay. I'm just waiting for this. Turn the mic back on.
Speaker: turn your lights off, go to bed. Did you turn the TV off? No, leave that door open. Cause it's a crossbar. And we are back and Jeff is yelling at his kids. Welcome back everybody. Again, the break, the break is a new thing we're doing on here. Uh, some nice, nice little breakup in the action. Uh, once again, that was our guys and Blacktop Mojo with tail lights off of their new album.
Speaker: go check them out, they'll give them a listen. They'll tell them that we sent, we sent, we sent you. That way they could be like, wait, who? Who the fuck is nonsensical nonsense? Go to bed. Fuck you. Somebody's gonna do that. Somebody's gonna do that. They're like, nonsensical nonsense. Let me just see. Listen to you guys. And we like it. And they're like,
Speaker: What the **** is that? And somebody in the band is going to be like, I just do two idiots to do a podcast and use our music. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Those guys are still in the air. Jesus. They're still doing all the world. Thanks for cutting your grass. I didn't know that you wanted me. If you would have asked me, I might have. I'd have charged you like $500 but I would have cut the grass for you.
Speaker: Oh, no, I'm sorry. Pops apparently just got home from his goddamn world tour and he's already talking shit. Pops have a riding more or is it push more? No, he's got a push motor. He doesn't have a very short time. But you give me a rider motor. Fuck. I'll be on that fucker for days. Oh, he's. Yeah, go ahead.
Speaker: Pops is Pops has got like stupid, nice toys. So his lawnmower like basically does the work. He just, he's just got a baby said it. Yeah. I mean, if you would have asked me, I would probably, I would have come over there or I'd have had the kid. I've taken the kids over there and they could have cut the grass for you. You went on Scott and Joanne world tour 21. When I lived, yeah, no shit. When I lived in Ohio,
Speaker: and I lived at my parents, you know, obviously high school and stuff. I would cut the grass, it would take four hours to cut the grass on the rider mower. Yeah, I used to like cutting the grass back home. Well, we had a riding mower when I was younger. Dad bought this badass fucking cub cadet that was stupid quick and he'd do amazing burnouts when the grass was just a little bit wet. Hey Pops, where's my shirt? Yeah, what the hell, where's mine too?
Speaker: they uh joe called me the other day and she was like what size do you wear and i was like i don't know two x three x depending upon the shirt this and the other thing i wear an extra medium so you you wear an extra medium you little bastard from the boys section actually technically i do wear smalls i wear small not this i think this was a medium but you probably should upgrade to a medium i've seen your belly i promise
Speaker: I know, right? If you lose the belly, the shirts will fit again. I'm like, yeah. Or we can just buy bigger shirts. Yeah. So, uh, when they were down in Savannah, uh, Joe had sent me this shirt and a really cool Viking shirt. I can't remember what it says, but it was from, uh, Oh, it was from one of those, um, veteran companies. Pops, what's the name of that company? Nine, six line fifth. So nine, nine line.
Speaker: I'm like, I can't remember what it is. Yeah, don't don't don't yell at me people. I'm pops will tell me what it is here in a second. But something simple like Nike. He's like Nike. Yeah, it is. It is. It is. I mean, it really is nine line. Yeah. So I was right. Yeah. But it was just it was a really cool fucking shirt.
Speaker: And, uh, when they went up to Charleston, apparently Charleston has one of those shirts or one of those stores now, which is probably a good thing. They didn't have it when I lived there because it's another one of those stores that I love everything that they have.
Speaker: summer store and and charleston the only difference between here and there is i actually had money to spend so i would have spent a buttload of money in that store yeah that's so that's why my wife doesn't let me go shopping because i literally go into the novelty shirt stores yeah and i get so say uh little johnny likes to read or likes to blow bubbles or little little susie likes to blow bubbles this is bubbles and it's a little kid
Speaker: Yeah, and this is also coming from a guy who has a closet full of shirts. I've got so many shirts that I could wear a different shirt every day for probably six months and not have to wash clothes, if not more. Hell, I have like 30 or 40 Superman shirts alone.
Speaker: But so anyway, so when they went up to Charleston, they went to that store again. I guess Pops wanted to get a couple of things or whatever. And Joe called me and she was like, what size do you wear? And I told her, she's like, well, we're going to get you. I'm going to I'm going to get you this shirt. And I was like, oh, that's fucking awesome. Like, because the shirt was badass. You heard of your ass over and bring him his fucking shirt. Yeah.
Speaker: So I don't know, I don't know if they got me the t -shirt or the hoodie because they had it in both, but possibly the background and he was like, you fucking owe me. And she was like, you don't owe you shit. I'm buying it for him. Like here's the $3 Jesus. She put it right in his fucking place real quick. And then I heard, I was like, yeah, get them. But, uh, that message I sent you with that Ford logo tattoo.
Speaker: that's I'm sorry but that's funny as fuck that still cracks me up yeah I really hope they don't come over here and come over here and judge the shit out of me my apartment is a fucking mess my house is flawless oh dude I um I just I I cleaned it up Tuesday my new obsession is is the bed because we bought those
Speaker: And I know you're gonna make funny fun of me for it, but we bought those Harry Potter blankets. And, and I, we don't really use them to lay underneath. Well, my wife does, but I lay on top of everything. Cause my wife calls me a polar bear. Cause we can have the AC to where it's like 17 degrees in here and I'm hanging meat, but I'm still, it's fucking hot as shit in here. Oh, dude, there's nothing, there is, there is now I'm, I'm, I'm the type of guy I'm, you know,
Speaker: Oh, what the hell? Okay, there we go. Yeah. You picked up another hat. What are you talking about? You picked up another hat. Um, I, I love it cold. Like, you know, my, my, my AC set at 68. If I didn't pay for my electric bill, it'd be set lower. Like when someone I, when I go down there to visit,
Speaker: And we stay at a hotel. We set the thermostat at like 64. And then I had to yell at Summer when she comes up here because she likes to set my thermostat at 64. I'm like, hey, I got a break for that. Jesus Christ, woman. She's coming out of my wallet. I'm not mad at it because I, you know, if I.
Speaker: if you know, I wasn't paying for it, I would have it at 64 too. Like our bedroom, when we went down to Pigeon Forge, our bedroom had its own thermostat and stuff. So our bedroom was set at like 64. And it was amazing. But I will I will make it super cold. Yeah. But there's nothing better than having the apartment or your house or whatever, like super cold.
Speaker: And yeah, pop said he's seen your your thing that he sent you or you sent him. But I also have like much like the Harry Potter blankets, I'm assuming that you bought there like that fuzzy, real soft material. Yeah, they're stupid soft. Holy shit. Yeah, but they they're so thin, but they're so fucking warm. Oh, no. So I'll either have and I've got a closet full of them. I've probably got
Speaker: seven or eight of those types of blankets. And I've got a couple comforters, but I will get my apartment so fucking cold and have my fan on in the bedroom. And there's nothing better than just wrapping up in one of those blankets or big comforter because, you know, like I don't fortunately for me, you know, I'm an, I'm, you know, like you, I'm from Ohio. We know what cold is. I mean, we're not fucking Canadian, but yeah, we know what cold is. We're from the Canada.
Speaker: Yeah. They can't do nothing to lock down. I just want to throw that out there because I always fuck with Canada. So fuck you Canada. The problem is being from Ohio and living in like the tropics, it cannot get cold enough. Well, and that was how cold it gets. Yeah. And much like when I lived down in Charleston. And I don't like the cold.
Speaker: I like my apartment being cold. I like to be comfortable. Yeah. I like my air conditioner and my car to be really cold. And I like my apartment to be cold. But when it's actually cold outside, I don't like it because I hurt. Yes. My body hurts. It's a different kind of cold, though. That's a different kind of cold. I mean, you can't warm up. Yeah. But when my ex, when she first left me,
Speaker: when she first moved out, my first thought was, it wasn't, man, that sucks, I'm getting a divorce and my wife is leaving me for another man. No, it was, I can turn the AC down from 74 to 60, 66 and nobody's gonna piss at me. That was your concern. That was like the first thing that popped into it. You know what? That the story of you and your wife getting the divorce
Speaker: Reminds me, like I said, I had my detailing company. Yeah. And we opened up a second branch at courtesy autumnal. And one of the mechanics there, I cannot remember his last name, but he was a big dude kind of like you, right? And every once in a while his wife would come in and she was gorgeous.
Speaker: And then one day I was like, hey, Randy, how's your wife? You know, he's like, she's leaving me. I was like, what, for the nanny? And he looked at me with a serious look on his face and he went, yeah, she's leaving me for the nanny. And I was like, yeah, he's like, no, I'm fucking serious. Yeah. I was like, what? He's like, yeah, at 43, she decided she's a lesbian. And I was like,
Speaker: Yeah, I'm dude. I don't want to be an asshole, but that just says you can't fuck for shit. Yeah, this is the guy who takes 45 minutes to an hour and a half to get his wife off.
Speaker: No, but I am poor Randy should have been like, Hey, before you leave, since obviously you're in the women now, can I get a, you know, at least as the, as the French say, a, uh, the thing, the thing about like,
Speaker: my wife leaving me and whatnot. Our relationship was over for a long time. We just stayed together for the kids. And at the end of the day, it wound up doing more harm than good. So I mean, that's why, yeah, at the beginning, initially, the first year, there were some issues and some animosity, and we fought over some stupid ass things.
Speaker: But, you know, at the end of the day now, I mean, yeah, there's still little things that I know I do and she does that we still work each other's nerves, but we get along pretty well. And, you know, I'm friends with
Speaker: with the guy she left me for. She's friends with Summer, and Summer likes her. But like I said, there's always little things with people. I mean, I'm sure there's little things about you. Yeah, there's little things about you that you and me hate about each other. Yeah, I was going to say, there's things about you that you absolutely irritate the piss out of me. And I'm sure there's things vice versa. But we - Good deal.
Speaker: We have a pretty good, for the most part, we have a pretty good relationship being, you know, our almost divorced couple we're working on that right now but, but you know being split up we've been we've been apart for three years three and a half years or whatever now.
Speaker: So, you know, I couldn't ask for any better situation. But yeah, I mean, my air conditioning being turned down was not my first thought. Obviously, my first thought was, shit, I got to fix things with my kids. I got to get right. And I got to get right with my kids. But yeah, then there was like little things like, oh, shit. You're not going to have steak tonight? Boy, I ate steak and potatoes and drank beer every night for dinner for like,
Speaker: four months. You mean you always got a bitch about me smoking? Well, at that time I wasn't smoking. What are you talking about, baby? I wasn't smoking back then.
Speaker: Yeah, I did mean to comment that. That's what my wife says all the time. She said, if we ever got divorced, you wouldn't think about anything except for the fact that you could smoke in the house. I'm like, well, yeah. I'm like, you mean I can smoke in the house now? Woo hoo. But yeah, I mean, that was cool because I'd come home from working outside all day and the heat and everything else like that. And I'd walk in the door. And as soon as I'd walk in the door, it felt like walking into a deep freeze. And it was just like, oh my god, this is fantastic.
Speaker: But that's why my wife wanted to put the air conditioner in our bedroom before we put the other ones in. And then it was like, and then there was like, man, I don't have to, I don't have to sleep in the garage anymore. I get to sleep in my bed and I can, and I like, I moved a TV into the bedroom and I had a TV. Well, there was already a TV, but I feel like I was like, I can't, I can sleep in my bed and I can watch TV and man, I can always, I can, you know, if I don't,
Speaker: Summer already can't wait for us to get divorced apparently That's why she watches the podcast She's she's screen recording
Speaker: I would like to pull evidence. One dash three. I'd like to exhibit 143 part A. You already said there's no divorce. Once we get married, that's it. I'm not looking. I'm on that train. I told my wife before we got married, I said, look, here's the deal.
Speaker: I don't believe in divorce. Now I understand your situation and there's other people having things. But no matter what the problem is, Matt Damon said it best. I'm Irish. I'll fucking deal with it.
Speaker: Well, and that was the thing like, you know, and Pops, hopefully you don't mind me putting your business out here. I don't even know if you're still watching or not. But I think my dad's been married four or five times. My mom was married about 747 times. So, you know, I was, you know, I'm only gonna get married once. If it doesn't work, you know, for whatever reason, it doesn't work. I'm not gonna get married again.
Speaker: You know, I was, I was very, uh, firm on that. And then I met Summer and of course that changed because, you know, I think that's the other thing. I think you and Summer, you and Summer actually have a really good relationship where it's like, you know, she can take your shit and you can take hers. And, and, and at the end of the day, you even, even when you guys, when she yelled at you about something and I was like, Oh, shit.
Speaker: But at the end of the day, you still hear love in her voice going, God damn it, Chris, or something. And I was like, she yells at me all the time. Yeah. But that's that's just a woman in general. My wife, I was drunk and I was drunk and in a very dark. Yes, please. That's that's what the women our lives quickly realize that we go dark quick. Well, well, she said that I was ready to marry Satan, my ex girlfriend. But at that time I was
Speaker: I was in a very dark place and in a bad place and I was drunk and I was really drunk. I was live for like 16 hours and stupid drunk one night. And slept on the stairs. I don't know where I slept that night to be honest with you. Well, it wasn't you. But I told my wife. Yeah, go ahead. Pop said he was married four times and my mom was married three,
Speaker: three times. I felt like mom married everybody she met. But Pops did marry my mom twice, so he didn't learn this lesson the first time. I was going to say, he didn't learn the first time. Someone does. She does yell at me. She yells at me for a lot of things. But she doesn't. She doesn't have a love. She doesn't do it on a smile.
Speaker: And my wife's the same way. My wife doesn't yell at me because she's bored. My wife yells at me because I do something stupid, which is all the time. Well, like Thursday night, I was aggravated just in general. I was aggravated and instead of summer being supportive and whatnot, she was like, everything's gonna be okay. She's like, shut up and be a man.
Speaker: Yeah, so yeah, she was she was giving me shit than what I what I called her when like, you know, we FaceTime, as we've said in the past, every night when we go to that's how we go to bed together, you know, because she's in Tennessee, and I'm here in Ohio. And she's like, you don't be in a titty baby. And I was like, I wasn't being a titty baby. I was just aggravated. Can I be soft for one minute?
Speaker: she was supportive. She was she was supportive in her way. It was just like, I mean, that's the thing is like you have, everybody has their way. Yeah, my wife, my wife will not hold my hand if I start getting dark, she'll be like, be a fucking man and grow up. And I'm like, Oh, yeah, right. And I kind of need that every once in a while, because I'll literally just go super dark and super weird and super quiet. And she's like,
Speaker: grow the fuck up. Oh my God. Summer said I was being a spoiled ass brat. And as she said, as she said, when we were talking, you're being a spoiled ass brat. And there's only, and I already filled that role for our relationship. I was like, yeah, you are spoiled ass brat. But I told my wife. I was just, I was just aggravated. Like I was, I was annoyed with,
Speaker: like stupid things like little things that have been annoying me like with the with the with the podcast and like right and different and then like things at work and then just other little things so it was like all piling on I was just getting things I think the biggest problem with with guys in general is is little things we're like at the in the moment if it's one little thing we're yeah we'll put it away till later
Speaker: And then another little thing and then another little thing. And then all of a sudden it feels like all those little things become as a giant thing. You're like, fuck, how do I get rid of all this? Yeah. Summer said I was being a little bitch. As men, we don't deal with it right then and there. We're like, yeah, I'll deal with it. Well, and yeah. Pop said that, uh, Joe's a real pain in the ass sometimes. I hope she can hear me. So I can get your punk ass in trouble. Uh, my, uh,
Speaker: When my wife and I were actually literally going into the, we went, we got married at the municipal court system thing kind of thing. It was like, you know, you go in a room as opposed to spending tons of money we didn't have on a wedding. We were going in there. I said, okay, just a reminder. I'm only doing this marriage thing once. So, you better be 100 % sure before walking that door.
Speaker: because once we walk in that door and I do's or said, this is life, this is a life sentence. So if you want to get out, now's the time. And she looked at me and as most serious she's ever been and she says, I'm in. I said, okay, just fair warning because, you know, and my wife and I have been together at seven years at that point. You know, so it's like, we've seen all the good and the bad
Speaker: all the crap and yes when we fight we will burn down a house to make a point but yeah because I'm Irish German and she's Italian Mexican so we will really destroy worlds when we fight and at the end of the day we're just gonna we realize that every once in a while
Speaker: No matter how much I, my first instinct is like, I gotta get the fuck out of here before I break something. Because that's my first instinct to start punching doors and walls. And I try to leave. Yeah, exactly. She won't let me leave to save my life. Like the house could be on fire. She's like, we're not leaving until we resolve this. And I'm like, what if we're gonna die? So nope, not till we resolve it.
Speaker: Pop said pop said that Sounds like I was acting like a glick. Yeah, we're notorious for being Assholes apparently summers going to Clarksville. She wasn't asked. She was told the fuck are you going to Clarksville for? Yeah summer is very hard -headed and she thinks she's always right except for when she's wrong and the show minute and
Speaker: Chris. Yeah, summer has absolutely no problem leaving. And when I came back home from, shortly after I came back home, pops got on me because I started smoking again. And I got told pops, I was like, well, look, man, I said at the end of the day, it's like this. I had a couple options, either I could go back to punching people in the face,
Speaker: to feel better or or drinking 24 seven or smoking and I chose smoking or the other two options and he was like well I mean I guess it's not good but it's better than well my what we had the hurricane coming up and you know we're picking up wood and stuff and it starts we literally get the wood loaded up in my buddy's truck and he's got his when I call it a truck it's more like a
Speaker: car with the back half off because it's a, it's a, it's called a Volkswagen reboot. Yeah, you're in Mexico. I know what you're talking about. No, the Volkswagen reboot is actually a brand new car by Volkswagen, but it's only available in Central America, South America and Europe. And it's basically Volkswagen's idea of an El Camino. It's a front wheel drive four cylinder El Camino.
Speaker: and it's got a four foot bed and I bought seven sheets of plywood. Four by eight plywood. Four by eight sheets of plywood and three poles that are eight foot long and a bunch of groceries because hurricane, we're going to be locked down. When hurricane Wilma was here,
Speaker: We literally couldn't go outside for three days because it was a hurricane that sat on Cancun for three days straight. So every time there's a hurricane, that's what everybody does. You know, they stock up because of Wilma. And so we get everything loaded up and being the world's smallest El Camino,
Speaker: My buddy's driving because it's his truck. My wife's in the passenger seat. Where's Jeff said in the bed of the truck in the pissing rain. It starts pissing down and I did it like the guy on tick tock to be a man guy. I was like when it's raining and get a truck stare at everybody like you like it's sunny out. Be a man. And I literally just like.
Speaker: I thought you did it like the other guy. Like, you ever been walking in the rain and talking to yourself? Man, I'm like the fucking guy. Pops said Joe's been putting up with his dumb ass for 29 years, man. Good Lord. Was that Kev?
Speaker: Yeah. Good night, bud. I know you can't hear me, but you can tell him. No, I can't. Chris said good night. A little bit. But so we're riding back. Bye, Chris. We're riding back. And it's piss and rain. And I tap on the roof of the truck. And I'm like, hey, we didn't buy cigarettes. If we're going to be locked down, daddy needs cigarettes. Stop doing that. Stop it. No, I'm going to stop you right there.
Speaker: Stop it. I need cigarettes or I'm going to kill one of you. And my buddy's like, really, dude, you need cigarettes for a level one hurricane? And my wife looks at him, goes, if we don't buy cigarettes and he runs out, you will kill us all. So he stopped. I'm soaking wet. I jump out of the truck, run into the store, buy three packs of cigarettes.
Speaker: And I come out, I get back in the truck. Of course, I put cigarettes in my pocket right away. So they wouldn't get wet, which didn't make sense because I was so good. I get in the truck and my wife's like, how many did you buy? And I was like, just three. She's like, oh, I was thinking we were going to buy four. Hey, what's up, Steph? But since they were 25.
Speaker: They're 25 cigarette packs. So yeah. Summer said she put in the comments me when you pissed me off and it's an emoji of. Somebody running and then a truck and she said Joe and I going to be drinking whenever whenever y 'all piss us off. I'm just going to call her.
Speaker: and we gonna drink. That's okay, you and Joe can drink. Whenever dad and I piss you off and dad and I will drink. Dad and I might make it a habit. Dad and I might make it a habit of pissing them off. Hey Pops, it's Saturday. Saturday, let's piss off the girls. We'll watch Blacked Out Mojo on YouTube and go live and drink our faces off.
Speaker: Don't check. There are very few things that pop and I pops and I have in common pops is a car guy, like, much like you like he is a gearhead. He's a grease monkey.
Speaker: And then I'm a sports guy, you know, again, much like you and I. Polar opposites. But the one thing that there are two things that Pops and I have in common that is probably one of our strongest bonds and that is drinking and music. My dad and I are exact opposite. My dad and I both car nuts. My dad's more of a muscle muscle. Yeah.
Speaker: My dad's a real old school muscle and I'm anything with wheels. And we both can, you give us a wood and a power tool, we'll build something. Because it's Wednesday and we're bored. Yeah, I was, Pops and I, speaking of, my dad pissed me off to no end the other day. He does plumbing jobs.
Speaker: because he was a plumber and now he's retired but every once in a while someone would call him like hey can you help me out with this or whatever so he'll go over I hope he's retired he's like 135 that was shit right yeah this motherfucker was at some dude's house fixing him fixing a water leak and he looks over this guy's got a brand new telescopic chop saw that
Speaker: with the bench with extendable leaves that go eight foot in each direction, right? And dad says, that's a really nice chop saw. And the guy says, yeah, I'm getting rid of it. You know, everybody wants one. And dad goes, how much you want? Guy says, give me 20 bucks. It's yours. It's been used once. It's a DeWalt. It's like a $400 fucking saw. And I was like, you asshole, put that fucker in FedEx and FedEx dude.
Speaker: Yeah, but you also know, what's up, Brad? You also know how much it costs to fucking ship anything from Ohio to Mexico. You were gonna make size. You were gonna do those 3D wall art. He got a $400 saw for like 20 bucks. You know what you should do? Speaking of your 3D wall art, and you should make two of them, and as soon as I have the money, I'll pay for the shipping.
Speaker: You should do a I'm working on a design. We need a yeah. Yeah, we need to do a nuts. I'm telling you, man, do do like what I did with the the the beer glasses. Cheers in and the words are hard. Do that on the wall art. Yeah, do that on a wall art. And as soon as I have the money, I will pay for the shipping so I can have one up here somewhere. Yeah, so no, don't put a fucking mic on it. Just leave it the way it is. Don't just
Speaker: overthinking shit. I have the idea on how to do the Elvis mic in my head. I have a way to with the route. Like I said, we could figure one out with the funniest podcast you've never heard of or something like that.
Speaker: Summer said domestic violence at its best. You know, I ain't got no problem beating your ass. I wish you would. Square up. We're going to, we're going to, we're going to pull a Mr. and Mrs. Smith at some point. She's going to move up here and like, and like, and like,
Speaker: three months after she moves up here is gonna be a full on Mr. and Mrs. Smith moment that's gonna end with some crazy ass sex on the bathroom floor. Have you seen the show on YouTube Hot Ones? No. Oh yeah, where they eat the wings? The celebrities eat hot wings and they get hotter and hotter and hotter. You know you can buy that kit
Speaker: Make your own wings. There was there's a there's a there's a podcast that does that. And actually, Matt was on there a few weeks ago. Oh, no shit. Yeah. And he was just eating. This motherfucker was eating like that. Like this. No, we don't. This motherfucker was eaten. No.
Speaker: I know his motherfucker was eating, eating like the stupid hot shit. And he was just like, I mean, it's all right. I guess it's a little spicy. I'm like, Oh, well, the one thing about hot ones is they have that the they have the sauce is called the last dab. It's literally the hottest sauce you can buy.
Speaker: And because they make it themselves and it's, it's on the, the school level, whatever that is, where it's, it rates the hottest. It's a 2 million plus. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Yeah. That's just dumb. But I watched Matt Damon do it today. And my son's like, who is that? And I was like, Kevin, that's Matt Damon. He's like, who?
Speaker: And I feel like I was like, you know, he was in Saving Private Riven. He's naming off Matt Damon movies. He's like, is that the one with with the guy that does the voice of Woody? I was like, Tom Hanks? No. Yeah. Right. I said, he's in Saving Private Riven. He's like, which one's that? I was it. It blew my mind. I was like, I failed as a father. The actor. The greatest Matt Damon line in any movie ever
Speaker: was I think it was Goodwill hunting when he was like, hey, you like apples? I like them apples. Yeah, when they were at the bar and there was frat punks. I got her fucking number. How you like them apples? Yeah, he's like, hey, he's outside. He tells all the guys. He's like, hey, you like apples? Huh? Yeah. How you like them apples? Give me a number. How you like them apples?
Speaker: He literally bangs on the window, he's like, he's like, what? He's like, do you like apples? He's like, what? He's like, do you like apples? He's like, yeah, he's like, she gave me a number. How do you like them apples? Yeah, that was awesome. Okay, shut up pops. Somebody ain't gonna put hurting on my ass. She knows better.
Speaker: I'm strong, I got muscles. I've seen the departed maybe like 400 ,000 times. I love that. I don't know if I've ever seen the departed. Never seen the departed. You wouldn't like it because everybody doesn't Boston accent. I'm out. Because it takes place in Boston. What the fuck is going on? Pop said Summer would kick my ass. Then Summer called me a bitch.
Speaker: And I called you a pussy because you can't eat hot shit. I would rock out that fucking hot one. Fuck all of you guys. Fuck you.
Speaker: This is just a podcast. Turn off this. I'll turn off Jeff's camera. I'll turn off Jeff's microphone. I'll turn off his camera. Welcome. Welcome to the Glick Show where Jeff has been canceled. I literally spent, I spent 25 minutes trying, cause I have so many DVDs and Blu -rays in the house. Summer said you and I was like, start your own podcast. There you go.
Speaker: Well, there you go, Summer. If you want a part -time co -host like I have, that doesn't do anything other than - As long as you don't mind doing all the work. Where the fuck is Mark? That's a good question, Summer. Yeah, what the fuck? I'm tagging. Where the fuck is Mark? Take me off, you prick. Yeah. I turned your mic off. I turned your camera off.
Speaker: I just noticed it on YouTube. I'm like, this motherfucker. I told you, I'm God. I'm God. Literally, I was telling him, I said, you know, that movie I watch, Undercover Cops. Joe is still Team Chris. He's like, he's like the one in Boston. I was like, yeah.
Speaker: I said, it's called The Departed. He's in that. He's like, no, he's not. I said, yeah. And I spent 30 minutes trying to find the goddamn DVD through my collection of DVDs. And I'm finally like, look, he's on the cover. No, you should have. You should have. You should have been. You should have. You should have been like he's in Jay and Silent Bob. He's in Dogma. He's the first Loki. And he's like, huh? I was like, he was Loki. He's like Tom Hiddleston. Oh, yeah. He was Loki and in Dogma.
Speaker: He's the quote unquote original. Summer said, you're not a God. You're a God. You're, you're a tool. Whatever. I hate all of you. I don't like any of you fucking assholes. You keep coming back for your glutton for punishment. I need better friends.
Speaker: I'm just kidding. Calm down. Summer's like, thank you. And she will tonight if you make it.
Speaker: I know. I didn't bring it on myself. I don't, I don't care. You know what? I am a tool. I'll be a tool. I don't care. I'll be a bitch. I'll be a pussy. It is what it is. Jeff wouldn't tell me I was a pussy. Jeff wouldn't tell me I'm a pussy to my face. There's a reason why Jeff is like, I'm going to be friends. Jeff is like, I'm going to be friends with that big son of a bitch. I'm going to make him my best friend. That way all the other big guys don't pick on me.
Speaker: I think there was only a couple of people in our class that we just didn't get along with. And they were gone after the first year. Yeah, exactly. How am I a tool, though? What did I do to be a tool? Oh, Summer just tolerates me because I dick her down and I gave her a ring. There you go. Awesome. Well. Oh, that reminds me. That's a nice segue to a little story I read. Use me and abuse me.
Speaker: I read a story, this lady, this guy, wanted to marry this chick, right? So he shows up, he says, in lieu of a ring, I have paid off your $250 ,000 college debt. Will you marry me? This is not without a ring. I was like, damn, that guy got fucked over.
Speaker: If a guy gave me $250 ,000, I might consider - He showed up with a receipt. He says, your college debt is 100 % paid off. Okay, so just go buy it for a second rate. Dude, for 250 grand, I will give a ring out of a Lucky Charms box and be like, there you go. Yeah, at the end of the day - I said 250 grand, there's your fucking ring. Yeah, at the end of the day, dude, you just spent 250 grand.
Speaker: Not to mention he's got 250 grand to lay that's laying around and he can throw away. Yeah, he's a keeper. I'll marry him for 250. Oh, Summer said she saw the story and that she did marry him without the ring. Oh, did she? I didn't I didn't read the whole story. Yeah, of course you read the headline because that's all you do. No, my power went out. I lost the. Yeah, no, I mean, at the end of the day, if you've got an extra 250 grand just laying around,
Speaker: If she wants to ring and you want to marry her, just go buy her a fucking ring, bro. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. That's great. You paid off her school debt, but all she wants is a ring. So at this point, all you're doing is showing off. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, that's kind of a
Speaker: a real kind of a dick move on her part though. She was like, I still want the ring. I mean, granted. No, I'm on her side. I'm on her side. I did not only spend $200 on your ring. Calm down. Holy crap. I mean, I didn't spend a lot of money on your ring, but I did not spend only $200.
Speaker: 201 and 50 cents. No, I didn't spend a lot on her ring and you know, she said and it's and it's beautiful. She loves her ring. I know you got the receipt and you know it was more than two. My wife picked out her ring.
Speaker: Yeah, but no, it wasn't a lot of money, but Summer also has, she's allergic to like gold and silver and this and the other thing. But I did make sure that there was real diamonds in it, not cubic zarkonian, where I could have got off. Yeah, you know, I could have got off for less than $200. Well, my wife picked out her ring and the only problem with it I have
Speaker: And because I'm not a ring guy, I can't wear rings, they freak me out. What's wrong with rings? Well, my problem is I work with a lot of hand tools and a lot of tools in general. So do I. And I've seen what happens when a saw or something catches on your ring, when a power tool catches on your ring, it's not cool. You practically lose a finger. But yeah, well, I mean, well, you're also not really
Speaker: I'm not a jewelry guy ever. Like I don't, I don't think I've ever even worn a necklace for more than a week. Yeah, I do. I wear, you know, I got a necklace. I've got rings. I've got my watches. I've got, you know, I've got bracelets. I've said multiple times that I would be the worst rapper in the world because I wouldn't be wearing jewelry, you know. Chris Rose rings. Well, but, uh, Summer said Chris Rose rings. She picked Rose gold.
Speaker: Which is, it's pretty and all, but to me it looks like copper. Yeah. Summer said that I wear, I wear rings because I'm a bitch and I'm feminine. Damn. You bought me, you bought two of the rings that I wear.
Speaker: And I'm gonna buy more. Yeah, I like to wear jewelry. If that makes me a bitch or if that makes me feminine, then so be it. I like to wear jewelry. I like to wear bracelets. I like to wear necklaces. I like to wear rings. I like to wear my watches. I like to make my shit coordinate. Yeah, judge me. I don't give a damn. The most jewelry I ever wore was when I had piercings. I had 10 piercings on my face. Because I had my tongue, my lip ring.
Speaker: my eyebrows. I had the back of my neck. I had my earrings. That was about the most jewelry I had. It was all. I got three. I got right now as we speak, I've got three rings on. I've got a watch. I've got two bracelets and I got a necklace on. I literally have that's what's gross. My face piercing. She was talking. Oh,
Speaker: Yeah, no, I got like I said, you got to understand though, at the time I was like 22 and I worked in tattoo parlor. Yeah. You get bored really easy when you do piercings for a living. Well, I had my, I had my ears pierced twice back in the, back in the day. And I can still put earrings in right now. I can too, but it's fine. I don't know if you can see it. Let me move my headset. No, nobody can see her.
Speaker: Yeah, nobody can see him. I can't put a cigarette through the hole in my ear. Oh, you've gauged them out. That's why I was at, um, I think the six gauge, nothing massive, but my, my tongue was gauged out to, uh, I think eight, eight or six. Yeah. I don't, I don't know what that means, but well, the lower the number, the thicker the ring.
Speaker: Yeah. Um, yeah. I had both ears pierced twice. I didn't gauge them out or anything. It was just, and like I said, I could still, I could still put earrings in them right now if I wanted to. Um, but you know, yeah, it is what it is. Yeah. Well, I, I, like I said, it all came down to if I wasn't working at a tattoo shop, I wouldn't have done it.
Speaker: Well, if I was working at a tattoo shop, I don't think I would get piercings, but I would get a ton of fucking tattoos. Well, that's why my back is all done.
Speaker: Yeah. My back is all done. Well, again, and I say, any Newark, I know Newark, glory hole. I know y 'all follow us and y 'all watch us. So any tattoo artists in the Newark area that would be willing to tattoo a - You need more tattoos, dude. Pretty much clean canvas for free and let you have your artistic ways with me.
Speaker: hit me up you'll get that you'll get that here I kind of want that no only if they said that about Peterson only if they said what about Peterson's why am I a tool again why am I a tool what did I do to be a tool I'm just
Speaker: I mean, okay, let me put it this way. Summer's word of the day. Yeah, summer apparently, fucking Sesame Street over here. It's the summer's insult of the day, there it is. Yeah, as I said, fucking Sesame Street over here. Our word of the day is tool. You must call your fiance a tool as many times as you can.
Speaker: Give me free stuff. Yeah, give me free stuff. Hey, actually, let me do this. If there's any tattoo parlors in the Newark area that hear this, that are watching on the Newark glory hole, we will sponsor you and in return, you can tattoo me. So they get something and I get something. Yeah. And that goes the same thing for Cancun. Um, cause I'm always looking for another tattoo.
Speaker: Jeff is not a tool. Wow. Okay. Well, summer for the first time ever is team Jeff. And on that note, we're up against it. So we're going to take another break. Okay. Now he's a tool. Now you're a tool, Jeff. Cause I was like, yeah, you know why we're getting free stuff. All right. We're going to take a real quick. We're going to take another real quick break. I only got two songs. Let's do this one.
Speaker: All right, we will be right back. I'm going to go fry some chicken. Turn our cameras off. Jeff is getting in trouble. Not yet. She's not home yet. I thought she was off.
Speaker: No, she's off as of Wednesday. But she knows it's podcast day. She's hanging out with her friend's house. She'll check in periodically, see if we're still alive. And then she'll be like, OK, they're done. She's hanging out with Juan tonight. All right, guys, we're going to take another real quick break. We will be right back. We're not paying any bills. We're just going to play some more Blacktop Mojo. Yeah, we're going to promote.
Speaker: This is gonna be staring at the screen all the time Blacktop Mojo You've been locked in this city
Speaker: Is there something you're hiding?
Speaker: Why are you staring at the ceiling to the world in the light? Is your heart bounding with a secret that you can't see?
Speaker: I've been sitting here waiting Still out the window of the street Watch strangers come round the corner Hoping it was you we'll see I pretend not to notice Distance in the lines
Speaker: Are you waking up the world in the dead of night Why are you staring at me?
Speaker: Tell me where you can be You're not the only one who ever needed Speak screaming loud and shout out your demons
Speaker: Oh, I time that fucking perfect quiet because we're going back live Day time that you said that perfect summer said it was uh Summer said it was uh echo and robot is what Michael? Okay I know I think what it was is because my
Speaker: Um, I put my headset on my mic. I didn't think about it. Don't don't do that again. I went downstairs to make sure the house wasn't torn apart because the kids were kids didn't go to bed. They went downstairs to watch TV, closed my door thinking that dad won't notice. Well, I mean, they were, they were being quiet and they were being, they were just watching TV, but they're supposed to be in bed.
Speaker: Oh, and look who decided to show his ugly ass mug. No, we didn't go away, Joe. We just took a real quick break because I decided that we're going to add breaks just because it makes it easier on editing. But welcome back, everybody. We got sidetracked. Jeff cranked the wheel to the right in front of the cops and got us pulled over. So welcome back, everybody.
Speaker: If you're not already feel free to check us out on social media at Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, and nonsensical nonsense. Also check out all the other episodes on Spotify, Google Play, Apple, and anywhere you get podcasts. And you can also email us at nonsensicalnonsensepodcastatgmail .com.
Speaker: And hopefully you enjoyed the music that we play on our little breaks courtesy. I seriously think you added that music so you didn't have to edit it in. Well, I got that going for me too. So yeah, hopefully you enjoy the music brought to us courtesy of Blacktop Mojo. Go check them out. Follow them on social media at BlacktopMojo as well. Check out their new album. It's awesome.
Speaker: Yeah, actually, that is one nice thing is that I do not have to, as of now, I won't have to add the music. Yeah, editing is a huge pain in the ass. Yeah, it's remembering as I edit my new YouTube videos. Well, I mean, it's not that hard now that I know what I'm doing. I mean, I can do it relatively quick. Like I told you before, the biggest problem, not a problem,
Speaker: The thing that takes the most time is promoting and networking and whatnot like that. I do want to reach out to another band and see if it's okay to play their music as well, which if I can, then I'll start incorporating some of their stuff in here as well. I don't want to push the envelope too much with music.
Speaker: because I know Facebook is kind of particular and there are people that do watch us on Facebook and I don't want us to get muted so you know like when I do when now that I'm playing Blacktop Mojo on here I go into Facebook and part of the sharing process when we first start
Speaker: I put it in there, you know, don't own the rights to the music, even though we have permission from the fucking band to play their music. I still put that on there. What in the hell did you do? Because now you have like a giant spotlight. Yeah. Well, yeah. Now you have like a giant spotlight on your fucking face. How's that? Is that better? Calm down, Patrick Swayze. This is not good.
Speaker: I don't know if she left or not. I'm sure she'll be back. Oh my god, you're killing me. So. I'm trying to figure out where to put this damn thing so it's not blaring in my face. I couldn't. We were talking about Joe buying me that shirt and I couldn't remember what it said. And she texted me a picture of it because I apparently Pops told her to send it to me. But it's got a skull with the like the Viking helmet on.
Speaker: and uh it says in the halls in the halls of Valhalla where the brave still live nice this is it's awesome dude i cannot wait to get that shirt i might go see joe tomorrow i'm not gonna see pops i was watching fury road last night what the fuck is fury road fucking mad max fury road oh the the remake with tom hardy yeah
Speaker: Oh my god. Spray paint. I haven't seen that yet. It's so weird. It's I just put it on Netflix here. Uh not too long ago. It's well, my Max is a weird movie in general. When I was a kid, the first time I saw Mad Max, I was like, so that's what's Australia's like? Wow, I don't want to go. It's not even in Australia. Well, the
Speaker: Well, yeah, but I mean, it's it's it's it's it's a post of pop pocket. Yeah. Well, I mean, but but also I've told my wife this before I said my my when I first moved to Mexico, I was like, man, I'm gonna be the coolest motherfucker there because I have a vehicle. But because my my interpretation of Mexico was was three amigos.
Speaker: This fucking takes place in the fucking 40s. Yeah. But on top of that, you see movies like Desperado and I was like, man, I'm gonna be cool as shit. I got a newer car. God.
Speaker: And my wife literally ripped on me. She's like, really? You thought Mexico was going to be like fucking three amigos. Wow. So speaking. So speaking of three amigos and speaking of Desperado, you know, earlier we were talking and what are you going to sing for us tonight, Jeff?
Speaker: You got your you got your mic there you got your mic there And you can hold it up and you can sing night Michelle Yeah, you guys need to seriously go to bed
Speaker: like now. Because I have the TV on, they can see us on YouTube, and they're staring at it at the edge of my bed. You should not watch. I had to go for a chicken. I had to sound off. Nice. Joe asked if Joe apparently downloaded apps and set up an account, everything like that. So she's on apps. And she was like, did Summer leave? And Summer said, I'm back. I had to go for my chicken.
Speaker: And since my cohost is a jackass and the reason we had an echo is because he said his freaking headphones on his microphone. Let me move my mic. Go to bed. I literally did this. Bye, Kev. Good night.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. Don't do that. We didn't have that echo for the first two songs. So that's because I actually said before I set my headset on the actual phone, which is on the tripod, which is far enough away. And I didn't think about it. I just kind of took my headset off, set it on the mic and went downstairs to yell at the kids.
Speaker: Well, Summer messaged me. She was like, the music sounds horrible. There's a really bad echo. And I'm, I'm over here. That's why I asked you if my mic sound, it still sounded okay. Cause sometimes I get an echo on my end. So I was messing with my mic. Yeah. So I was messing with my mic and, you know, my volume's too high.
Speaker: Yeah. My volume's too high. And I'm like, Chris, I can hear you. You're like fucking. Yeah. As you said at the beginning of our show, no rules can go by a fancy fucking more. Yeah. My mic was 30 fucking dollars, dude. It's a really nice mic. Yeah. For 30 bucks. Mine was 30 bucks. And it's not quite. I like it. It's got a cord on the cord on the back of my mic.
Speaker: literally looks like I'm set up to have blackout mojo singing in my house. It's ridiculous. Oh yeah. I got a, I got a stupid long cord. I've got a stupid long cord on mine, but I mean, in all honesty, it's a good, yeah. And in all honesty, at the end, at the end of the day, if I had like somebody else here with me, I think I've done it when pops has been here. I can change them. I can, I've got settings on my mic. I just got to turn the dial where I can go from one to four people.
Speaker: Yeah. Well, you could actually notice it when pop is there. It wasn't like you guys were talking over each other. It literally picked up both sounds. Yeah. Smallestly. Where mine does. Mine has one setting on and off. And it doesn't even have. Well, I've got. It's on as soon as you plug it in, which is kind of. Yeah, I've got I've got volume control. I've got gate control. I could I could go up to four people on one mic and it it kind of
Speaker: I mean, it was only $30. I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I mean, mine, mine, mine. Like I said, uh, the only problem I have with, like I was saying before we started is I want to get a boom for it so I can actually bring it up closer to my face. Let's just hold it in your head and say it's a little ditty. Yeah, that's not going to happen.
Speaker: I literally sent my wife messes. I said, hey, I'm thinking about going to get married. Why do you have lint in your nipple? Summer said she's picking lint out of her nipple. I have almost no comment for that, but my brain is crashing. Yeah, you just kind of made both Jeff and I dead stare at the camera. My head just fucking exploded.
Speaker: It's not, it's not a normal, that's not a normal space to get like at the end of the day, I gotta, you know, like at the end of the day, after work, I'll take a Q -tip to my belly button. You know, like when I get out of the shower, I Q -tip my ears, I Q -tip my belly button. It's just part of the routine.
Speaker: What? That is the greatest feeling in the world. Oh, no, it is. I know. But that's the problem is I will go through a box of 500 Q -tips because it feels so awesome. Oh, yeah. No, I won't do that. I'll just, I'll just. It's a, it's a two, two, two.
Speaker: Yeah. It's, it's two QQ, two Q tips per year per year. You know, it's just like, Oh my God. Yeah. It's like the greatest feeling. I mean, just, Oh, it's so good. It's so good. It's right up there. That's going to, that's going to be my only fan. That's that's PG 13. There you go. Yeah. You can do that. Your leg shakes.
Speaker: Yeah, you know, like 30 second videos, just Q -tip on, oh, you want to see the left ear? It's going to cost you $10. You set up a camera like I got mine and you just kind of.
Speaker: Well, I got the laptop. I guess it's the laptop on my dresser and laid out all the bed. I'm fully clothed. They just got Q -tips all over you. I can, I can buy like 3000 Q -tips at the dollar store for a dollar.
Speaker: Exactly. Like I'm set for years. You know what? First of all, okay, first of all, somewhere in the world going, I'd pay for that. It's probably Mark.
Speaker: Where do I sign up? You can't color. You can't color. Okay. First of all, Joanne, how long in 29 years have you ever known me to make my bed? It was like one of the biggest fights. That's the, the one thing that I am obsessed with with this new bed. I know it sounds dumb, but we have,
Speaker: six pillows plus the two stuffed turtles plus a stuffed panda and a what looks like a bear skin rug but it's actually an elephant head it's obviously fake but you know we bought it at the there's a chinese store that they sell all this crazy chinese shit they make this you know those blankets those harry potter blankets that we're talking about were super soft the the stuffed animals are made out of that material so they're stupid soft
Speaker: And we have two turtles, a panda bear, and what looks like a pink elephant. And every day, after my wife leaves for work, I have to make the bed fall asleep. I'm a freak about it. Where before we got this bed, I was like, I don't give a fuck.
Speaker: And Joe knows, because Joe and I used to fight man to man, her and I would fight about making a bed. I don't understand the purpose of making a bed, because what am I making a bed for? Well, you know what? Why am I making a bed? Actually, I can give you the reason of why to make your bed. And it will change your world. If you make your bed in the morning, you go to work. You have the shittiest day.
Speaker: and it's cold out, you know, it's raining, whatever. You come home, you get in the shower, and then you climb into a nice, warm, maid bed. Change your life, dude. No, no, it doesn't. It's a comfort thing. We didn't change our world. No, it's not. It's no, it's not. It changed my world. You know what a comfort thing is? Somebody said that to me. I was like, you know what? That fucking makes sense. On a shitty thing? You know what a comfort thing is? On your bed, right? You know what a comfort thing is? A nice, cold beer and a cigarette. I get that. It's like my breakfast.
Speaker: No. Do you know what a comfort thing is? On my bed, when I can climb into my bed and I don't have to worry about untucking sheets and untucking a blanket. I don't have sheets. I have a cover and I have the fitted sheet. And then I have a bed sheet that doesn't get tucked in. And then I have the comfort. Because here's the thing. Tucking sheets is the worst fun thing ever.
Speaker: Yeah, at the end of the day, when I go to bed and I climb into my bed, my bed is already in the position that I left it in when I woke up in the morning when I was comfortable. Chris can tell if somebody breaks his ass or like, somebody broke here and made my fucking bed. That's what you do, Joe. Oh, that's why it's the worst. Break in and make his bed. It'll freak him the fuck out.
Speaker: Oh, what are you sons of bitches? I'm calling off the next day. I'm going to catch this bed making motherfucker. I sure did. Yeah. No, I just, I like, I just don't understand that.
Speaker: Okay. Well, this is going to sound incredibly weird. I shouldn't say this, but fuck it. We've said worse on here. Yes. You see my bed. Yeah. Yes. You see my bed and you sat on my bed late in my bed.
Speaker: Hops and I were like drinking together and Joanne was laying in the bed. I just never understood the concept of making your bed. Even like when I stay in a hotel. I never did. Nothing pisses me off more. No, when I come back to my room,
Speaker: Like I understand, I understand like the housekeepers, they've got to do the thing. Take trash out, give me extra towels. Don't touch my fucking bed because that pisses me off more than anything when you've made my bed and then I'm going to come in and I've got to untuck everything and I've got to fight with the blankets. I've got to fix the pillows because the pillows are already in a position. The worst job for me would be making bed for a living.
Speaker: Yeah. It literally takes you five minutes to make the bed. But the pillows, I have it set up in a system and it sounds dumb. And it's not like I toss the pillows on and off the bed at night. No, I cuddle with pillows, man. I love my pillows. Well, I mean, you said you and your wife have six pillows. We have six pillows plus the two stuffed turtles and the stuffed panda and the bear, the what the fuck is it called? I've got I've got
Speaker: four pillows, a body pillow and a stuffed wiener dog. I got a stuffed wiener dog, which summer got me. So, you know, and then I have summer's blanket. Um, so, and I'm just, I'm nicely by myself and I, and I've got four pillows plus a body pillow and then the wiener dog and stuff like that. Yeah. And so I said, well, I was counting your pillow, baby.
Speaker: So, so, and that's just me by myself, but I, I am a weird, I like, I'm weird about pillows. Um, I like those like super like soft pillows. Yeah, no, I have, I have one pillow on the bed that is so hard. It's like.
Speaker: Wow that one was a rough one lots of technical difficulties lots of Connection issues, but Jeff was right in the middle of a hurricane so got to give him credit for trying to push through and Still think we were able to put together a pretty good show No major issues or concerns on there and just some rain and some little bit of wind but we had the abrupt ending because his power went out and
Speaker: But hopefully you guys enjoyed it. We had fun doing it as always. And if you're not already, feel free to check us out on social media, on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, and YouTube at Nonsense School Nonsense. And you can get every episode of the podcast on Spotify, Google, Apple, and anywhere you can find podcasts. Also, if you want to reach out to us, send us an email at Nonsense School Nonsense, podcast at gmail .com.
Speaker: And we will see you all next time. Thanks for hanging out.
Speaker: Every night I see his blood there in my dreams A thousand times now that I've murdered him I can't believe, eaten alive by these desires that I hold deep The ache that lingers on and on and on and just won't leave
