Transcript
Speaker: Don't call me a prodigal son Cause I ain't coming back
Speaker: Let me walk my own path And don't worry about me I've got everything I need
Speaker: Climb the mountain to see the sky Across the stars on the other side One of these days I won't be around I'll rip my roots out from the ground With wings of further streetways
Speaker: I'll fly high towards the sun Until they melt from my back And don't tell me There's nothing left to find There's nothing more than this
Speaker: I'll rip my roots up from this ground With wings of feather stringing waves I'll fly towards the sun
Speaker: My road's up from the ground With wings up in the stream waves But I'll fly towards the sun until it rains
Speaker: I can't tell you how many times I'll ask her to do something and and she will legit just sit there and not even acknowledge me.
Speaker: like I'm not even there man and then I'll come back through and I'll be like hey I asked you to do something and then she'll just kind of half -ass look up at me so she you know she kind of acknowledges me but then I'll come back through a third time and I'm like what the hell I asked you to do something do it now and it's to look at me and just kind of roll her eyes and it's like all right
Speaker: I know we're gonna do this four times. So the fourth time I'm gonna come through and I'm gonna get a little bit more I'm gonna get a little bit more aggressive and I keep telling my kid I'm gonna rip the TV off the wall because if the TV's on he's staring at it. Yeah Like it's gonna run away. Mm -hmm. Yeah there
Speaker: when they're little, they're all cute and fun and all that shit. And then they, then they learned to talk and walk and wipe their own ass over. They're just assholes for the rest of their lives. But anyways, fathers of the year strike again. This is, this is, uh, this is why I'm not allowed to write a, uh, parenting one -on -one book because
Speaker: If you've asked your kids one, beat your kids. If you've asked your kids four times to do something and they still blatantly ignore you, it's okay to grab one up and choke slam them, especially if you have multiples because you're going to set an example.
Speaker: having kids or I love my kids to death. Don't get me wrong. Anybody know you're wrong. It's it's it's a great thing having kids but there's times you're just looking for a place to bury the bodies as as uh as my mom used to tell me I brought you into this world. I can take you out of or make you look just like you or tell them all the dumb **** you did.
Speaker: but this is what happened to him. Or the other one, my mom used to always say. I tried to give it to my son that. I said, you know, we used to have a kid just like you. He's like, what? I said, yeah, we killed him because he wouldn't be able. My wife was like, we're not doing that. He'll fucking believe you. I said, I know. Maybe he'll learn something. Yep. My mom used to tell me that. She also used to
Speaker: tell me that it didn't matter how big I got her. She had to get up on a chair and grab us a stick. She would beat my ass. I still remember the last time my mom hit me and we were standing in my room and she was yelling to me about something and I did the dumbest thing ever. I told her, fuck you, right in her face.
Speaker: And I remember my dad walking in after my mom slapped me across the face and I don't remember anything after that Actually, my mom smacked me across the face in all honesty my mom smacked me across the face and
Speaker: and proceeded to bitch me out for 30 minutes and my dad
Speaker: pretty much started packing up my shit and told me to get the **** out. I was like, maybe I **** up just a little bit. After about two hours, they both calm down but it was it was touch and go there for a little bit. Well, I mean, it's one of those things. You're definitely 100 % across the line. I **** that one. Yeah. You know, my kids haven't
Speaker: I haven't pushed me to that point yet but I have had to walk out of the house and go take 10 deep breaths because I knew I was at that point where I was like, there's three of you. We're not going to miss one of you all that much. Yeah. No, I've never. They push buttons, man. Yeah, I think we need to do an intro
Speaker: But I think kids learn what questions they constantly try to see how far they can go with something. I push just a little bit more, a little bit more. OK, that's too much. That's too far. Too far, too far, too far. As they're running and you got a shit in your hand. OK, we went to work. That's the limit. Right there. Dad's doing the spider walk in his head, spinning around like the exercise.
Speaker: What's going on mark hey Shawn decided to show or stan or whatever What's up, buddy, so yeah anyways Sorry for the the five minutes ramble and just come into the podcast just bullshit We love our kids. We don't beat our kids. We and we haven't killed any of our kids. So don't judge us But welcome
Speaker: Yeah, go ahead. No, go ahead. I was just saying that I saw somebody on TikTok. It's like, oh, hitting your kids is considered abuse. I said, yeah, let me guess. You little liberal who's, you know, doing all this dumb shit and nobody gives you crap about it. You wonder why you're going to jail. You're 30 years old and you still live with your mommy and daddy's. Exactly. And she's doing your laundry and you're cooking your meals.
Speaker: And they don't have the balls to kick you the fuck out. Yeah, all that jazz. Oh, that's right. And you don't have a job. So they can't kick you out because you'd be homeless. Homeless like a little bitch. We learn in a van. Yeah, I was just going to do that. But yeah, go ahead and give us a little bit.
Speaker: but, uh, enough of that bullshit. What's going on guys? What day is this? Oh, it's hump day. Happy Wednesday. Welcome to nonsensical nonsense episode. It's the legal drinking age episode. Yeah. Podcast terms 21 today. So, you know, we'll definitely, uh,
Speaker: Uh, at least I will have a couple of these with the old podcast. Uh, but, uh, also if you guys are already, feel free to check us out on social media, cross the board, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Tik TOK, all that jazz at nonsensical nonsense. And, uh, also check out Spotify where you can get every episode, even though the last couple have been questionable. I'm.
Speaker: uh interesting and to say the least but if you follow nonsensical nonsense on Spotify you can get all the episodes and hopefully uh find them slightly mildly uh retarded I mean entertaining but uh it was a long -winded introduction but I'm Glick and I'm hanging out with Jeff as always as always my co -pilot over there
Speaker: I don't know. Go away. Go away. As I get interrupted by my kid again. Yeah. I literally just told him I'm going live. Yeah. The the goose to my maverick over there on the guys. That's **** up, dude. Okay. Well, you can be
Speaker: I could be Iceman. You know, he'd be Iceman to my Maverick. Goose was an integral part of that movie though, man. I mean, it's like, he dies though, dude. Well, you're probably gonna die, dude. Yeah, probably. Fuck that. I'm living forever. I've heard you try to walk up and down the stairs. Yeah.
Speaker: It's not going to happen. Actually, I don't mind dying. I'm not afraid of dying. I just want to do it right before I become senile. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to I don't want to lose. I don't want to lose my wife and she refuses to do it. But I said, if I ever, you know, become unable to wipe my own ass and walk across the room. Fucking just shoot me. Yeah.
Speaker: Because I'm done. I don't want to be that guy. And if I get Alzheimer's, Kurt Cobain, my ass, I don't. Yeah. Well, it's put me in the ground. Yeah. Yeah. There's nothing worse than, than, you know, I've seen, I've, I've seen people with Alzheimer's and stuff and, and I don't want that for myself. I know it's absolutely terrifying.
Speaker: I don't know. Scares the **** out of me. Okay. I got I got another one since since Baverkin Goose don't work because Goose does. Okay. You're my Robin. You're you're the Robin to my Batman. Oh, I can't wait. Here. Here. How about this one? You're right. You're you're you're the Spiderman to my Deadpool.
Speaker: Let me think about that. Which Spider -Man are we talking? The fucking Spider -Man Deadpool and Spider -Man are our best pals. No, but I mean Spider -Man. I don't want to be fucking Tobey Maguire.
Speaker: Well, it's not, you don't have to be any, you can be Tom Holland. Okay. You can be Tom Holland and I'll be Ryan Reynolds. All right. If that's what you want. I was just, I was just trying to be a nerd and use a comic book reference. No, I get that. You're killing me. Mark said, Mark said you're the cream to my cookie. Nice. What's up, Cameron?
Speaker: Mark's, Mark's of the, Mark's of the chat full of things. So, you know, usually we go on to use these like tirades and ramblings and this, that, and the other thing, but I did see something and I didn't want to forget about it because I thought this was really cool. Um, okay. I'm not on, I'm not on Twitter a whole lot, but I was scrolling through Twitter and I think this, this came from like Rolling Stones or some, some music, uh,
Speaker: like a music news page account or something like that. Okay. When you said Rolling Stones, I automatically think of the band, but okay, go ahead. You meant. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not the Rolling Stones. Okay. Stan said you're the, you're that guy to his fat man. I don't get it. Yeah. I don't either. I'm confused.
Speaker: swing and a miss stand or we're just or we're just or we're just both retarded and oh I got one I got the perfect one uh big trouble little china you're Kurt Russell I'm the Asian dude and Kurt Russell's kind of a dork in that movie Kurt Russell's a badass watch your mouth yeah
Speaker: So, I see this. I see this. I wanted to break it up because I do have a question to do that and I'm going to post it in our in our on Facebook and and on Instagram. Okay. They can't always be it's how pretty girl.
Speaker: I will use the R word because it's my motherfucking podcast and we have microphones. If you don't like us saying retard. We can say motherfucking. I like to watch that movie. I like to watch that fucking movie and I keep forgetting to find that scene so I can recite it perfectly. Yeah. Cameron told us not to use the R word. Poor little snowflake. We must have
Speaker: You know, so I saw something. Go ahead. Go ahead. Yeah, that's my little rant. I would before I forget about this because I don't I don't know this goes. But this is this is the 1987 Madison Square Garden concert lineup for the whole year. OK, so I'm going to rattle them off real quick, kind of sort of.
Speaker: eighty seven. Eighty seven. Okay. Yep. And then I do have a question at the end of it. We're not going to get sucked. That **** nerd will get a wedgie and I swear like. Yeah. So, so starting in in in February, you got rat and poison. Iron made. Nice. Clap. Nice. Huey Lewis in the news. Jose Feliciano. Uh I think that's some uppercut. I don't know who that is. Uh Luther
Speaker: you know, Duran Duran and Erasure. The Hooters. You mean Judy? No, Hooters. The Hooters. This is an eighty -seven. Hootie and the Bluefish. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
Speaker: Tina Turner and Wang Chung. That's an odd pairing. Yeah, that's. And to and to round out August, you have Roger Waters. And then in September, you've got Bowie, Whitney Houston, the great fucking dead. You two. And then in October, you have Pink Floyd, Eddie Murphy,
Speaker: the cars and then and around the year out, you have the car or I'm sorry, Rush, Yes and Depeche Mode. Now, that that I expect you to remember every single one of those bands and I just rattle them off because I rattle them off pretty quick. I would definitely buy season tickets to that to the to the the dome. But well, here's the question I wanna I wanna put forth and like I said, I'm gonna put it on Instagram and I'm gonna put it on Facebook as well. If you can only pick two shows, who would you go see?
Speaker: I definitely go see Rush. I don't know why but Rush has got some good fucking tunes. I would not go see the dead.
Speaker: Uh, I, I know. Um, now mind you, mind you, put yourself in an 87 cool, put yourself in an 87. Yeah. Pink foot. Like put yourself in a, in a, it's, it's, it's 1987 mode. Yeah. Seven years old. Well, well, let's not say we were seven. Say we were like 19, 20 years old. Okay. Yeah. Like, you know, in our twenties and this lineup came out in 87.
Speaker: Well, I mean in 87 I might have had a chance to boink Madonna cuz she was fucking everything back then so I might be good But I would totally see Floyd and I totally see Rush Cuz like I'm not the biggest rush fan in the world, but I know like a rush song comes on. I don't know I
Speaker: I wouldn't I automatically say oh, that's rush. I just go fuck. I know this song Yeah Exactly, because I don't know bands. I know songs My my if you saw my playlist and I have on my phone I'll screenshot it to you one day if it but my playlist is so Eclectic it's retarded. Yeah. Well, yeah, that's mine. I'm all over the place mark said he would go to he marks that he would go to Bon Jovi and
Speaker: White snake and crew and motley crew actually white snake and motley crew would actually probably yeah Yeah, no, well, that's another one. Yeah, I mean white snake in their heyday In 87 you go to a motley crew or a white snake concert. You're getting laid It's a given it's
Speaker: I didn't ask, I didn't ask if you were going to get laid or if you were, if you had a chance to bang the main axe. For me to go anywhere in 87 really, you know, this, I was, I was looking this over and I'm like, damn, the only one that I, that I would 100 % do everything live would have been cool too. Yeah. I would have wanted to see Clapton back then.
Speaker: You know, I still would like to see Clapton but I don't if I only could go to two that second one would be such a hard choice. I in all honesty. Well, from what I've heard, Floyd is badass and concert. Yeah, if you, I mean, you'd be stone to walk in the door. Yeah, Cameron said he'd go see Whitesnake too. Yeah, I mean, yeah, if you're on acid, I mean, I I don't know.
Speaker: I would probably uh, I would probably want to see Tina Turner, but I love Tina Turner so and to see her in her and her oh, yeah, dude, I love Tina Turner's music But as we discovered last week, I have I have a weird fascination with older chicks older chicks. Yeah, I mean, I Dude, we got off the podcast the other day and I watch fucking tremors Watching Reba on on the screen. I'm like, oh
Speaker: I can see where Chris is going from. Yeah. I've always loved Tina Turner's music. I do find her attractive.
Speaker: But I love her music. I mean, same thing with Cher. It is what it is. Judge me if you will. I love Cher's music. And she used to be hot back in the day. Now, much like Madonna, she looks like a living, breathing dinosaur. I'm not saying she's as old as a dinosaur. That's what I'm saying. Look. Aren't those Green Army men? You can build like 40 battalions of soldiers out of the class. Are those two broads?
Speaker: But I just I like shares music but I don't know man. That would be a tough That would be a tough lineup as for the year because I would I would I would love to see Bon Jovi or White Snake and crew or poison and warrant. Why are you excellent? Yeah That's that's that's so that's some heavy hitters for that year I
Speaker: Yeah. The clapping would definitely be a, a, a, a, a hat. I like must, must go for me. Well, see back to the original Woodstock. If I can go back in time, I would totally hit up Woodstock. So you get laid? No. Jimi Hendrix playing the national anthem on guitar.
Speaker: I don't care who you are, that's badass. So Summer said, because I was talking about Cher and Tina Turner, that she's going to go ahead and exit stage left. Cameron is making fun of me for being old because I like Cher. Mark is the only one in the chat sticking up for me. And he said, as Tina said, you are simply the best, Mr. Click.
Speaker: And then Summer said she's going to find a new guy to wear the costume. Oh my God. I can't deal with this woman. She said, she said she's going to buy to me for, for, for when we go down to Pigeon Forge, I didn't get my pillow. Uh, she's going to buy a crawl daddy, uh, a crawl, uh, costume so she can scream in the bedroom, crawl daddy.
Speaker: and it's like a full blown like and the kids will be traumatized. Yeah. I'm like, oh, first of all, you know, I feel about the whole daddy thing. I don't like that. It's it it weirds me out. Yeah. You know, it didn't used to until I had kids. As soon as you have kids and your kids call your daddy, you don't want to check on it. No, I've never wanted to go there, but it just just it just sounds dirty like I mean, maybe if we were in Alabama,
Speaker: Alabama or West Virginia or something like that. Oh, Uncle Daddy. Yeah, Uncle Daddy. Give it back. Yeah, then then there's that thanks. First of all, no, you've never called me Daddy. I know. Back in the day, when we used to play Call of Duty, you know, I told you that time that Cameron and
Speaker: his older brother and our buddy Brandon out in Oklahoma and then of course my buddy Kevin. Cameron was trying to hook up with this land monster. Tom said Clapton is a maze balls on the Haps or on YouTube. Tom B. I would love to see Clapton live. I think it would be cool.
Speaker: Mark's looking at, you know, bleaching kits for me to send me one. Fantastic. But we shouldn't be bleaching be called changing your ringtone. That was nice. In my defense, that's not mine. I saw on tik tok.
Speaker: Popped up yesterday or right after we got off podcast. I was flipping through Somebody said shouldn't handle be bleaching called changing your rank tone. I was like fuck I wish I heard that right before I went live. Yeah But um, there was this there was this land monster that Cameron was trying to hook up with and she had like a little cousin or something that was I think he was mildly retarded and
Speaker: but uh mark mark is giving you applause in the chat room on that one. Thank you. Thank you. Uh but um I can't take credit for it but I will my my playstation gamer tag was big lick daddy.
Speaker: That wasn't my doing. That wasn't my doing. That was my ex -wife's doing because she got my my original PlayStation account banned permanently. I don't know what she did or how she did it. So, she created a new one and that's the one that she did thinking she was funny. Well, this **** kid, every damn time he would come in the lobby, I couldn't stand, I couldn't stand him. I usually muted him but as soon as he would come in, he'd go, how do you collect daddy? I can't. My voice can't go that high.
Speaker: I would just instantly just be like mute and then **** it. Cameron and all of them would do it. I'm like, you sons of **** ****. Clapton's coming to Tampa. When's he coming to Tampa? Buy me a ticket and I'll come down. Fucking A. I actually saw. I did. I did. years ago, I did get to go to Columbus
Speaker: And Clapton has, or had at that time, a penthouse at the Maranova Towers, downtown Columbus. And I got to go to Red, White and Boom one time at his penthouse. He wasn't there, but we got the invite because my buddy and I, this is when I worked the two minute truck, we had moved several things in his apartment and his, uh, uh,
Speaker: the the
Speaker: like Eric does a big red, white, and boom party every year. You guys are invited if you want to come and it was just like, **** Yeah. I'm going to be there. And my dumb **** thinking Clapton was going to be there. He he wasn't there for that one unfortunately but it was still like a circus field. Yeah. September 25th at Amelie. Nice.
Speaker: But yeah, I was like, man, Clapton's going to be there. It's going to be so cool. And then Clapton wasn't there. But there was a bunch of random ass people there, a bunch of rich people from Columbus in the area, whatnot. But it was still really cool because we were on the 26th floor. And it looked over the river where they shot off the fireworks, red, white, and boom. So I mean, it was still an awesome party. And to have that view for the fireworks was stupid.
Speaker: Well, I saw, um, I can't remember the name of the band, damn it. And you guys will make fun of me for it. As soon as I say who it is, um, they sing a lot of love. What's, um, Chicago. No journey. No, no, I wish it was journey. You know, it's that, uh, I'm all out of love. I'm so lost without you. What's up? No.
Speaker: Uh, somebody in the comments helped me out. I can't remember the name of the band. I'm Google leading it. Yeah. I can't remember. I'm thinking it was one of those bands that I had. No, no, it's, it's a, uh,
Speaker: Damn it. It's going to drive me nuts until I hear it. Air supply. Air supply. Yeah. They were live here. We went to a concert here, um, like 12, 13 years ago. And they had that they have a bull ring. They have a bull ring here. And cause they do bull fights on Wednesdays and stuff. Well, at least I used to, I don't know if they do it anymore, but
Speaker: Is that what they call cockfighting down there now? Bullfighting? No, they do bullfights. They do bullfights all over Mexico. Air supply came in and the tickets were free, so I was like, yeah, I'll go. Free?
Speaker: Luke said Alexis's PMC all -stars thing I'm all out of love I know I pulled it up to and it was like some Anastasia But yeah, it wasn't it wasn't terrible concert Fucking air supply On the way in of my girlfriend at the time I was like I
Speaker: I know the one song and the whole night I was like I'm waiting for it. And then they sang the one song and I was like, okay. Oh, yeah. I was, I was actually kind of wondering the same thing. I was like, I know I like air supply, but what else? What do they say? They say, you know, they got making love out of nothing at all, which is another good. Yeah, they did that. They did their hits basically, which was, you know,
Speaker: like four songs. Yeah, they did. It was like two hours. They were off stage in 10 minutes. I can't remember who opened the person that opened was like a. It was like a Mexican singer that I don't know who it was, but I think 90 percent of the people went for that opening act.
Speaker: yeah right because because it's but i mean there was a lot of people that were older and i mean oh yeah well i mean people that were teenagers in the 80s you know yeah the air supply was popular in the in the 80s marc said marc said bro i thought florida was different
Speaker: I learned about Mexico the other day. I've seen things. Florida is, is, is, is different. We don't claim Florida with the rest of the United States, much like we've decided to not claim Texas. It's almost like Puerto Rico. It's like Puerto Rico. It's claimed, but it's late. Yeah, we can do without Florida and we'd be just fine.
Speaker: Florida not only votes, but they have a way of fucking up our voting system. I had no shit. Everybody heard of a hanging cat? If it wasn't for Florida, we wouldn't be blessed with so many news stories. Speaking of Florida, I do have a news story out of Florida for you. Out of Stan's stomping grounds down there in Tampa. Oh. So hit me with it. Supposedly a gentleman
Speaker: that in the article, he just went by the name CF went in to have a little name. Yeah. He's not originally from Florida. He wanted to have a little seizure procedure, probably an in and out type procedure. He was supposed to have one of his testicles removed.
Speaker: Well, like one does. Yeah. Well, you know, there's probably something wrong with it. Hell, I don't know. Yeah. He might have cancer or some ball. Yeah. You know, whatever. That shit scares the shit out of me. Lance Armstrong had ball cancer. It's OK. So so he goes in to have the procedure. He was supposed to have his left nut removed. Well, I took the wrong one. Dr. Dufenstine takes takes the right nut.
Speaker: Realizes that he makes a mistake Tell me he won't give up said sorry Realizes he made a mistake during the surgery Takes the right one. Oh, that's not the one I was supposed to take and goes ahead and
Speaker: snips the left one out too. Leaving Mr. CF with no balls. So, so yeah, needless to say, you know, he got in trouble for it. The, the, the medical board, Florida's medical board, they find him. Guess how much they find him for this little, uh, um, a little bit more, but you're in the, you're in the ballpark. Yeah. Like 10 grand.
Speaker: No, it was $2500 fine. Get the **** out of here. And uh and uh he said he was in that job. a little that and a note and a $2500 fine and a note of what is that? Uh they reprimanded him with a note. You've been a bad boy doctor. Pay your $2500. Meanwhile,
Speaker: This is like 50 cents to you and me he's like what then I can get a cup of coffee, right? Yeah, whatever Boy, they didn't mention anything about a Pending lawsuit now. I'm sure the I'm sure
Speaker: Yeah, I'm sure the ball is wonder especially Florida because Florida has no shortage of Ambulance chasing lawyers who have made yeah millions and millions of dollars for now dirtbags So I'm sure there will be a pending lawsuit and that guy would if it was me I would I
Speaker: take the **** doctor. Oh, I'd sue the guy for everything he had. Yeah. Everything he had, everything he was going to make, anything he ever even thought about getting, I would be like, oh, yeah. I'd be like, Doc, you're going to go back in there and you're going to make it bigger. I want a penis enlargement. I want bigger balls. Make them brass. And I want a brand new truck. And trust me, you're going to
Speaker: Holy shit. That's fucked up. Mark said, uh, talk about giving the ball rolling. Yeah, I'm kidding. Jesus. What an asshole. I mean, you would think, I mean, if I ever have surgery like that, I'm going to go with a marker and mark my balls. This one, this one with an arrow pointing at it, this one. No.
Speaker: I don't know. I don't know if that's something that I don't think that you can. I'm no doctor clearly. Um
Speaker: But I don't think once it's removed you can just put it back and pretend like well, I don't know honestly, I mean My mom would know she's a nurse but but I mean I've heard of reverse vasectomies So I mean
Speaker: It would kind of be the same thing, wouldn't it? No, because the bisectomy, not the bisectomy, he dropped the ball on that one. Mark's killing himself in the chat. No, no, Mark over here, he's making fun of the doctor. He's like, he dropped the ball on that one. Mark's over here just cracking himself up. Oh, I can imagine being the judge in the courtroom.
Speaker: When the trials going on for this because i'd be like so he dropped the ball is what you're saying Yeah And they'd be like your honor you're not funny. Oh, trust me. It's funny It's funny. Oh, trust me But um, but yeah, I don't know because like with a vasectomy
Speaker: it's it's just a tube essentially from what my understanding is going. Yeah, it's like a tube and they they clamp or cut it or whatever they do. So it can be reversed much called it. Yeah. Yeah. Much like much like, you know, my my ex wife after a third one, you know, we decided that we didn't want it anymore. She was going to get fixed because she was already opened up because she had a C -section. So I told the doctor, I said, got it, tie it, burn it, whatever you got to do. Put that shit out.
Speaker: But they told her, you know, if you ever wanted to come back in and reverse it, you can reverse it. And I know that on the male side, um, vasectomies can be reversed. I think it's just a two. They reverse it. They don't vagina. No, that is called a transitioning surgery. And you're our trans agenda. Yeah. Um, but I don't ask you about something like that. It's a little bit political, but, uh, and not really, it's just, I just want your thoughts on it. We can leave it there.
Speaker: there is going to be in the next Olympics a transgender female body lifter weight lifter so it's a male to female body lifter yes and he's competing against women biologically a man yes and then all of a sudden she's losing i couldn't even place in the male division but she's killing it
Speaker: in the female division. Well, as far as transgenders, um, go and athletes, if you are a man and you transition into a female, I'm sorry. You should not be competing with females. You should compete with them with males. And the same thing for a female to male, because even though you slaughtered,
Speaker: Quote -unquote changed your gender or whatever you genetically and scientifically You are still built like a female your bone structure is different your your body your your fat to muscle mass is different There was a Male transition to female MMA fighter
Speaker: Yeah, so even if you're transgender you should you should compete in the sport that you're you
Speaker: for the gender you were born as. It's an unfair advantage. I mean, that would be like, that would be like a bunch of dudes. That's like me joining up against a six -year -old in a basketball game. Yeah. I'm going to kill him. Exactly. That's what I was going to say. A bunch of dudes. And I can't play basketball shit because I'm 5 '3". Yeah, a bunch of dudes transition into women and go join the WNBA, and they're all on the same team.
Speaker: or, or a bunch of dudes join the women or the team USA women's softball team or the soccer team. You're going to have, you can't baseball players can't take steroids and football players can't take steroids because it's an unfair advantage. So you're going to put a dude that decided, I'm not a dude anymore. I'm a lady now. So, uh, I'm going to go, even though physically, you know, you, you, you are more dominant.
Speaker: I mean, it's sorry, women. It is what it is. It's a scientific fact that men are stronger. If a woman my size, I mean, I'm talking height, weight, everything exactly the same. I'm going to dominate in a sport like powerlifting or, or, you know, maybe not in a fist fight because I suck at shit like that. But the chances are I'm going to beat her.
Speaker: Mm hmm. But I mean, I think I think I think Serena or Venus Williams have come out before. And they said if you take even if you take the best female athlete or the best female tennis player in the world and you put them under the men's league, they wouldn't even rank in the top 100. Well, there's there's a there's a male transition transition to female high school student.
Speaker: That is on a track team Now during against the men wasn't doing shit. What nobody knew who the fuck it was Join the women's team and is breaking records. Yeah There's your science right there, I mean it's like And and all these there's there's there's girls same age they're all like 17 years old and there's girls like
Speaker: The one girl that this person beat out by like a full 30 seconds in a foot race is like, you know, the next person behind her was 30 seconds behind her. So she would have had first if that dude didn't decide to. I mean, yeah, no, I agree. 100%. And I mean, I, I told her only for, if you feel you're a man or you're a feel, you're a woman, Hey, you want to use a women's restroom and the men's room and go ahead. I don't care.
Speaker: Yeah, I don't do it with my kids in there and be other than I don't give a fuck. But. But against. I have a with.
Speaker: Yeah. With the, with, with the restrooms. I don't, I don't care if, you know, if, if, if a man is transitioning into a woman and you can clearly see, I'm not going to be that guy. My kids are in there, but if somebody like me, I know me in high school, I'm like, Oh yeah, I think I'm a woman. I'm going to the little girl. You know,
Speaker: Well, I do that now Stan Stan Stan don't don't feel bad buddy. We You're more appreciated over here fans stances I feel a little bad, but I don't regret that I'm here instead of the Kevin Holly show because right now we're Kevin's on at the same time we're on but um, no if a dude like me if I'm in
Speaker: Fucking target of all places and some dude that looks like me walks in the bathroom behind my daughter and I'm like, bro What are you doing? He's a man? I'm gonna be like not today. It's not motherfucker Almost snatching up almost snatching up and drag his ass outside and have a conversation. Yeah If the person going in the restroom literally looks at least Resembling a woman. Yeah, you know then go ahead use the bathroom
Speaker: But if somebody with a full beard says, I'm a woman, I'm going to the bathroom while my daughter's getting ready to go in the bathroom, now that's not going to happen. You can hold it. But I mean, you can tell when somebody starts to transition. I mean, I see the difference with my broster when he was first starting. And I've got a friend of mine who is transitioning into a woman.
Speaker: I know that outside of the shots, but you can see the big difference. Well, yeah, but what I'm getting at is that no matter what it is, somebody's going to try to rig the system for their benefit. As in, I'm going to get to go to the bathroom with girls. Like I said, I would try that in high school. I'm going to the girls room to change because I'm a girl today.
Speaker: If it's, if it's legitimately someone that's transitioning, I have no problem with them go to the bathroom, warm my kids in there or something. But once again, full beard, I'm going to the women's room. No, you're not. No, you're not, bro. Summer said that. Summer said she's going to go to the bathroom with me. She'll help me. I appreciate that.
Speaker: I will gladly let you help me in. Just don't make it weird. She'll be like, how do you aim this thing? I don't even do it. Hold it like a fire hose. Well, like a straw. It's not really a fire hose. It's like a penny. No, but I mean, I don't, I hugely disagree with the whole, I'm a woman. I'm getting my ass kicked in the men's division. So now I'm a woman.
Speaker: Yeah, I, transgenders, I mean, I call, I guess if I'm wrong, I'm wrong. I don't, that's just my personal feelings about it. If you're, if you're a man, transgenders, transitioning, you should not be competing with women or vice versa. You know, it's just, it's, it's, it's not fair. Um, Stan, if you would stay and download the house app and you can join us on here one night. Stan said, don't be mad when Stan TV starts up soon. And this time we go, we go live twice a week, big dog.
Speaker: So, no skin off our ass. You can go into the bathroom and help me, help me take a piss. I don't mind. You can hold it. So you mean, you know, it's not very big. So, so someone was like earlier today, we were talking and the summer was like, um, uh,
Speaker: I was talking about Hawaiian, Hawaiian glaze, Hawaiian ribeye steak. And I was like, what'd they do? Fucking put pineapple on it. And she was like, no. And she's like, yeah, it's a pineapple glaze. I was like, yeah, exactly. Anytime you call something Hawaiian, you just put fucking pineapple on it. And I was like, and pineapple's disgusting, and it ruins everything. And she was like, your dick's disgusting. And I was like, look, you shouldn't. You seem to like putting. I was like, you seem to like to put disgusting stuff in your mouth then. And she's like, yeah.
Speaker: Apple. What are you doing? She told me one time when we first when we first started doing the donuts off of my dick and I was like, well, we'd have to take a donut and cut it in half. So it would be like, yeah, it wouldn't be donuts. I have a a audio clip.
Speaker: that i have to send you speaking about donuts on ring toss style this this guy is a stand -up comedian his name's uh um joel i think it's it's last name shoemaker but he does a he does a bit called the love master he's like i'm the love master baby i can hold two cups of coffee and a dozen donuts baby
Speaker: Oh my God. My wife hates the guy. Yeah. And, but he goes on for like a full seven minutes, almost six minutes doing this bit. He's like, he's doing stuff like, uh, he's like, we can do it outside. We'll get arrested for smoking grass. He's so funny. And my wife's like, that's not funny. I'm like, no, that's hilarious. You just don't get it. You don't get it.
Speaker: She's I get it. It's disgusting. Yeah, okay. So I constantly try to work those into a conversation when her and I are talking about someone eat a donut off, you know, I was like, two cups coffee, donut. Stan apparently wants to pound some skin off of my ass because I'm a sexy beast. Well, there you go.
Speaker: And you know what Summer, I, I, I, you know what, I was traumatized by that and I, and I put it in the back of my mind with the rest of my, uh, what is that called? Recessed memories or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Recessed memory. She asked about the shower if you liked her shower joke. Oh my God, dude. No, dude. No, no.
Speaker: I don't even want to hear it. No, I don't want to hear it because look, look, this is what I got. She killed in the shower with me and was like, surprise! Yeah. Yeah. This is what I got. Yeah, go ahead. Sunday morning, I'm just waking up, you know, I'm kind of, I'm half, you know, I was getting ready to Snapchat her because I Snapchat her every morning and tell her good morning and everything like that. Right.
Speaker: So I get it, I get message. Christopher, she never calls me Christopher. Very rarely does she call me Chris. And she was like, do you want to explain to me why some girl messaged me at 3 AM telling me she has a video of you in the shower? I was like, what?
Speaker: You know, I'm still like half a slave. I'm like, what the fuck? So I tried to call her. Yeah. So I tried to call her. I didn't. And that was the thing. Like I tried to call her and she just, just straight declined it. Yeah. Then I told her, I was like, color person. I've ever said anything like that to you. I've never sent any dick pics or anything to anybody other than her.
Speaker: right? And then and then she said it was all question marks and she's like, I'm telling her to send it to me. I said, hell, tell her to send it to me too. You know, at this point, I'm like, this I gotta see. Yeah. I was like, I don't know what the hell you're talking about. And I'm like, I mean, somebody like got bathroom cans set up in my house. Am I being stuck? Is this like an old ass video from years ago that I didn't even know anything about? What the hell is going on? Yeah.
Speaker: And then she's like, are you kidding me right now? It is you. I was like, I don't know who or what you're talking about. I've never sent anyone other than you. And she's like, let me show you. And I was like, I don't even talk to anyone other than you and Jeff. And then she sends me that fucking monkey chimpanzees in the shop. I was like, oh, this bitch. She didn't get me. She sent me.
Speaker: Hey, did you know there's a there's a video of you in the shower floating around the internet and right away I was like, yeah, that's impossible because I Keep the door closed in the bathroom when I shower number one and number two. My wife's not that person I'm literally thinking this not sending it and I was I basically said something like okay Well, I told her I was like I was like
Speaker: I was like you should try to get Jeff with that or I said you should do that to Jeff and uh but I'm like Mark wants to know where you can see this video of me in the shower. I'll post it on our Facebook page or summer summer can post it on our Facebook page. Yeah. She said it was the best.
Speaker: It would do it. I was, I was like a mile away. I knew I didn't know what the video was going to be, but I was like, there's no way in fucking hell. It's me. I can tell you that right now because I remember something like that.
Speaker: because I don't even take my phone in the bathroom because I'm afraid I'll get wet every time every time I take a shower I take my phone into the shower with me and I'm usually watching TV or yeah that's just me I spend 45 minutes in the shower so I can watch like an episode of psych or an episode couple episodes of scrubs or you know whatever
Speaker: Yeah, my son, I said with Glick's summer lovin' happens so fast. Shut up, Stan. She did, she got me. She got me and it was good, but it is. Now see what she should have done if she really wanted to get me. She should have contacted my wife. Yeah. And say, have you seen this video of your husband in the shower?
Speaker: She should have been like, your husband, he says that I'm just one of the bros and he's always calling me dudes. But he sends me a picture of him in the shower. He sent me a video of him in the shower. But my wife would have been instantly been on my ass until she saw the video and she's like, ha, that's good one. But she got me because I was just like,
Speaker: She would literally answer some are like, who the fuck are you? I was I was so confused. And then I got then I was getting a little upset because I was like, that's not who I am.
Speaker: Yeah, why is there a video of me in the shower and who got it and how the hell did they get it? And then she does that and I'm just like oh, she's just she's such a fucking brat I'm gonna get her back warm pigeonforged. I'm gonna yell surprise. I'm gonna come out of the bathroom be like surprise Here's how you get her back you do you got to do the prancing bull I
Speaker: reach down to her ear and whisper another girl's name and then hold on for a day. It's called the bucking bronco. That's what I was going to say. That's called something else up here. That or I can just donkey punch her. You could call it the raging bull and just be like, oh, you were a really gitter. When you whisper somebody else's name, use your ex wife's name.
Speaker: What the hell is the president bull?
Speaker: or her best friend or something.
Speaker: I keep telling my wife, one of these days I'm going to do it. And she's like, you'll be homeless. And I was like, yes, but it will make for a funny story on the podcast. Summer said I would get punched if I did that. Mark said now, you now know summer's taking a baseball bat. At any moment.
Speaker: I'm just going to run in and be like, surprise! Don't clench, you'll want to make it work. Don't you dare clench. It's only going to be worse. Just relax and let it happen. Like the pillow and hold on. It's only going to last a few seconds. This hurts me more than it hurts me. It hurts me.
Speaker: No, i'm telling you you she'll end up getting revenge on you. So pull out that fucking strap on and be like surprise She gonna learn real quick how gangster I I'll dip into my arsenal and pull out one of them fucking No, pull out one of them dragon tails in the 55 gallon drum and be like let's go
Speaker: Mark was on my team and now he's team summer. You guys, you guys all suck. Just so you know, Stan's always, Stan's always been team summer. All of you suck. Never always to drop. Really?
Speaker: It's because I smoke Apparently I should drink a lot of pineapple juice and then I'll I'll be able to but They make pills for that. Yeah, they're called uh, they're called yummy tummy pills nice Just like just like one or two, but they're not like pills it's like candy
Speaker: they got them in uh they got them they got them in like uh they have them in like uh like chewables like the Flintstone chewables and then they've also got them in uh and and and gummies yummy yummy gummy gummies yeah something like that i wonder if i can order that off amazon probably we should call
Speaker: that's who we knew. That's who needs to sponsor us. Yummy. Cummings needs to sponsor us. Fake semen. Yes. Stan hits on you. It makes you feel pretty. Oh, I guess I don't make you feel pretty. We should call extensive. We should call the Kevin Holly show and help the little guy out. Is he, is he having issues?
Speaker: Is he? Take that back, you butter my... Mark said, take that back, you butter my bread. I'm loyal. Mark is a loyal follower of the Glick. I'm like a up and coming cult leader. The Glickenites.
Speaker: Hello, my children. Yes. I have come from the heavens. Yeah. I I I wonder I I don't understand how people can actually get into a cult. They just want me. No, but I mean, I'm not not not. No, I mean, literally, I mean, literally, you just walk. It's not like you have to go through some kind of special ritual. I mean, I watch this thing.
Speaker: i watch this thing on youtube and i was like a miniature documentary about this about this lady she was with this group of you know they were nature list or net naturalist or not a nudist colony just gonna be free love kind of thing and then they realized she realized after like four years it was a cult i'm like four years oh you know what it takes four years to figure out that
Speaker: hold on. Uh well, Holland, Kevin's co host who's lived on and every country on the planet. Uh she grew up in a cult. So, hey, Stan, reach out to Holland and when Kevin takes one of his uh many three hour breaks, tell Holland to come in here and explain to us how you uh join a cult. But I mean, I mean, it's literally they just they they they recruit people and everybody. Yeah. So, you know, if you if you
Speaker: The bullshit. I mean, you're in and then you just, and then you just have to continue to, to, you know, use the term loosely called up where, where the guy, the guy running the cult was allowed to sleep with anybody there. Yeah. I mean, that's usually how it is. I mean, that's like Charles Manson had his little cult and everybody was banging everybody. There was a guy up in Canada.
Speaker: that had a cult and he was he was the only one that could fuck the women like because he was the they all know and in the all powerful he was the only one that could impregnate the women. Yeah, but how many dumb broads can you sleep with? Because if you really believe this guy is all knowing that but he's got no money. Yeah, well, yeah, exactly. I mean, bed sheet, no shoes. I mean, yeah. Well, I mean, the stock market a little bit.
Speaker: Stan said, cults and commercials work off the same premises. Simple people, basically taking a shot at Kevin and cults all at the same time. Stan said that Summer's pretty and that he likes her because she lets me touch her.
Speaker: And then Summer says, I don't just let him touch me. I let him touch me inappropriate. You let me do filthy things to you while you're here as mom, if you're listening. Yeah. If you're still here in episode 21. Yeah. Um, no, at the end of the day, I mean, the, the phrase drink the Kool -Aid came from Jonestown, I believe, where they all drank the Kool -Aid and died. Um, get up on that spaceship. Yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah, some dumb shit.
Speaker: at the end of the day, if you drink the cool age or in a cult, you know, the way he's going to say it, the moment you, the moment you start to second guess or question is the moment that they, they're like, yeah, they, they, they're still here. They kick you out or they make you a whipping boy. So to say, yeah, it's a culture, a culture.
Speaker: They're they're they're a very They're a strange thing Because it does take it. I mean they they they are filled with Some kind of stupid to actually be like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna call but really well No, you're gangster you only like purple drinks
Speaker: But no, I mean, yeah, with with colts colts thrive off of the weak, weak minded or weak willed individuals looking for a a a someone do all the thinking for them. Yeah, they're looking for they're looking for acceptance. They're looking to yeah, exactly how somebody do all their thinking for them. Again,
Speaker: Random -ass subject that I could talk hours about just because it falls into that serial killer category that I I Did you see the ten buddy movie with? No, what's his name? No High school musical dude. No. Oh my god, dude, you gotta see It's fucking good Zac Efron Zac Efron. Yeah, speaking of colts
Speaker: Them he was on trial for killing bitches and there's all these little chicks going. Oh, I want to fuck him I'm like really he's on killing like 16 girls Yeah, but he was he was he was educated he maintained his innocence the whole time too. Yeah, he he he was educated he His appearance he put off was talker too. Yeah, I
Speaker: He was a silver tongue devil. My pretty girl, pretty girl. The state said that he's a member of the nonsensical nonsense culture. Yeah, there you go. Speaking of speaking of cults completely organically led into this new story that I see. Nice. I'm about to piss some people off. Let's do it.
Speaker: I don't think anybody listens to this show, so we're good. I say that, but we have.
Speaker: you know, not only on episode 21, we have almost 200 people on our Facebook page and we've gotten over 200 listens on Spotify. So that's pretty cool. But so a superhero and a Spiderman outfit meets the Pope at the Vatican. And there's a picture of Spiderman shaking the Pope's hand.
Speaker: Nice. I've been pissed since tuning in. Why have you been pissed? Strong. Nah. So it says that Vatican City.
Speaker: So while Pope Francis is usually the star at the Vatican gatherings, Spider -Man, or at least an Italian who dresses up like the character, was a tension grabber among the public lined in rows during the Pontiff's weekly Wednesday audience. Matteo is 28 and he dons the comic book and movie superhero outfit to cheer up hospitalized children. So, you know, he's out there doing a good thing. He's a good guy, you know.
Speaker: Yeah, you know, like those at the Vatican pediatric hospital. But sweating under his costume in Rome's heat wave, Matteo said that he asked Pope Francis to pray for the children and their families.
Speaker: The man told APTV that he gave Francis a spare mask as assigned to tell him that through these eyes, I can daily see pain from sick children in the hospitals. Matteo with a costumed arm reached out and touched Francis. Yeah, right. Who wore no mask against COVID on the back of the arm and greeted the pontiff. It was very exciting because Pope Francis immediately understood my mission.
Speaker: So a little, a little, a little, uh, feel good for you story. Since we were talking about that reminds me of a joke. Have you heard the Dave joke? This, this guy's talking to his buddy. He's like, he's like, uh, his, his, this guy named Dave's talking to his buddy. His Dave says, I know everybody. And he's like, Dave, there's no way in hell you know everybody.
Speaker: He's like, yeah. So, you know, fucking Tom Cruise. He's like, sure. I know Tom. Like, well, OK, let's go to his house. So they go to California, knock on Tom Cruise's house. Tom Cruise open doors, goes, Dave, hey, man, come on in. Let's have a beer. We're going to hang out for a little bit. And he's like, I still don't believe you know everybody. That's just, you know, one guy. He says, OK, name somebody else is Elon Musk. OK, so they go over Elon Musk house, knock on a door. Elon opens door. Dave, come on in. He's like.
Speaker: This is crazy. You don't know everybody. Dave says, yeah, I know everybody. So he's like, OK, so you know the fucking pope? He's a sure. So they go to the Vatican and there's a crowd because the Pope's going to come out and speak. And Dave's like, well, hold on. Let me see if I can get in because, you know, the guys at the gate know me. Yeah. So he goes up to the guys at the gate and all of a sudden Dave standing up there with the pope waving to the crowd and he looks down at his buddy and his buddies laughing his ass off.
Speaker: And Dave comes down and his buddy says, he says, I totally believe it. You know everybody. He's like, well, what's so funny? The guy says, while you were standing up and waving with the Pope, the guy next to me said, who the fuck is that guy where they're up there with Dave? I heard that joke the other day. I fucking died. I was like, that's hilarious.
Speaker: Yeah. Every time somebody mentions the Pope after I heard the joke, I was like, Oh, I got it. Yeah, I gotta do it. I gotta do it. But what what makes it even funnier for me, my father, his name is Dave. And we could not go anywhere. When I was a kid, and my dad would run into somebody he knew. Like we I remember going to Cedar Point, you know,
Speaker: Well, it's like a two hour drive you go there and we'd be walking around Cedar Point and my dad would run into somebody knows or You know
Speaker: No matter where he went my dad would run into somebody new. Yeah, that's that's that's like that's how my kids are in Johnstown they're like yeah, oh my so Holy crap, my hands are like compared to my arms. Anyways squirrel Like god, you know everybody and then like cuz I grew up there and my ex -wife her her her boyfriend his family
Speaker: one side was like rich politician so everybody knows him and then the other side was a bunch of farmers who owned a bunch of land so everybody knows him and his family and then everybody knows me and my family so my kids hate it because they're like you know everybody I'm like not only do I know everybody kind of everything goes on in this fucking town which means you can't get away from shit yeah to the point to the point day one orientation
Speaker: at the Career Center, we walk into the fucking classroom and Tom Tinney, who's across the fucking room, goes out, Dave, and I went, son of a bitch. They went to fucking high school together.
Speaker: Do you think that would have stopped you from causing so much ruckus? No, no, you know what? You know why I caused so much ruckus. My dad was all nice and hey, Jenny, how you doing, blah, blah, blah. We get outside after our little meeting with Tom. We get outside and my dad goes, that fucking guy. That doesn't talk like that about people. And I was like, wait, what? He's like, that fucking guy.
Speaker: And I was like, what? He said, we went to high school getter. He was, he was the preppy guy. And I was the quote unquote poor farmer kid. And we hated each other. And I was like, Oh, this is gonna be a fun year. This is gonna be fun. So anytime I would get in trouble, Tom would never call my parents because my dad would be like, fuck you, hang up on him.
Speaker: Which was awesome because at first I was like fuck I'm not gonna be able to get away with shit
Speaker: Literally door 20 minutes later and I'm like, oh I'm gonna get away with murder I'm getting away with every goddamn thing just The whole ride home from the Career Center. We're talking 45 minute drive My dad's sitting there telling me stories about Tom and shit and I'm like, oh Yeah Yeah
Speaker: But because I'm feeling like in a good mood tonight, I got another feel good story for you, buddy. OK, I'm ready. Spider -Man met the Pope, the Pope, the leader of the largest cult in the world. Yeah, I'm kidding. And we're going to go to New Hampshire. Now, mind you, not too long ago, we talked about New Hampshire because some jackass decided to blow up 80 pounds of explosive. It's trying to take New Hampshire off the map.
Speaker: Well, well, tonight we're, tonight we're gonna, we're going to venture to London Berry, New Hampshire, where an anonymous customer leaves a restaurant at tip for $16 ,000. Damn.
Speaker: And it says, uh, a customer who ordered a couple of chili dogs, fried pickled chips and drinks at a New Hampshire restaurant, left a big tip, $16 ,000. The staff didn't notice it. Yeah. Right. So it says, uh, the staff didn't notice it first. Mike, the owner of the stumble in bar and grill and, uh, London Berry told, uh, WMRU TV, the tab was, the tab was only $38 before the tip.
Speaker: how much for those chili dogs? It was only $38 man. He had, he had, you know, a couple of chili dogs, a fried pickle. He probably had a couple alcoholic beverages, I would assume. Since they said a couple of drinks, I didn't say a drink because you know, most restaurants, you can get a pop or a tea or water or whatever refills are free. Right. So, but it was, it was on a credit card statement. They put it down next to the register and he said three, the customer said three times, don't spend it all in one place.
Speaker: Mike said one of the, Mike said one of the staffers, staffers flipped it over and looked and she's like, oh my God, are you serious? And he said, I want you to have it. You guys work hard. Mike thought it was a mistake, but the bar manager talked to the customer who said it wasn't, and he wished to remain anonymous. So he was just doing a good deed just to do a good deed. You know, he wasn't trying to put his face on her.
Speaker: No, that's a good thing. That's sweet. The restaurant had closed for a few months during the pandemic and adjusted with takeout orders at outdoor dining. The crew plan to pay it forward to their fellow employees. The back of the house works really hard. The kitchen, they're giving them a big tip out of that.
Speaker: which is very generous of them to do. So I mean, they're, they're spreading. So he, he left 16 K for, for, for a tip, which is awesome. You know, they had some, they struggled through the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic, much like a lot of local businesses did. Some businesses had to, you know, unfortunately close their doors and let people know. Yeah. Permanently, you know, they couldn't, they couldn't, uh,
Speaker: they couldn't come back from it. It was it was too much of a loss. So, so this guy goes in and you know, he has dinner. It sounds like and you know, a couple drinks and and turns around and drops 16 K and they you know, the cool thing about it was that the the waitress or whatever did it. Oh, this is all my money. No, they they're they're
Speaker: they're spreading it around my first thought. Yeah. Yeah. I would have just. I'm buying me no **** car. Yeah. I'll do this. I got COVID. I'm out. You know, but no. Yeah. I am late for any. I am late for anything and everything. I gotta go right now. But no, I mean, it's cool that they're they're sharing it and they're making sure that the kitchen staff because I don't know. Kitchen staff work hard.
Speaker: I've never yeah, I've never worked in a restaurant, but I have been in the in the back of the house During business hours when I worked for work and no I wasn't spraying chemicals but I was doing other stuff back there and I see how hard that kitchen staff works and I worked at Sweeney's to a five -star joint in in Mansfield and
Speaker: one of my friends, he was he was a what the second and charge cook or whatever. And, and that would get off work. I mean, he'd lose 10 pounds a day. Oh, yeah. Well, not to mention balls off. Not to mention that. But I mean, also, the kitchen staff is there hours before the restaurants open.
Speaker: Yeah. And they're they're usually the last ones to leave. Yeah. And they're the last out the door at the end of the night. Um, I mean, cause I, I would go into some restaurants to do my, my service and do my, whatever I needed to do. Obviously I had to go in before they opened or after they closed. I'm going to go in in the morning before they open and I'd go in there at seven, seven o 'clock in the morning. The restaurant don't even open until noon and the chefs and everything are already there and they're, they're there.
Speaker: Yeah, they're prepping. They're doing all that stuff. And then, you know, it's like, yeah, I mean, restaurant closes at 11. Yeah, I'll get out of here around 12, one o 'clock in the morning. It's like, fuck that shit. But even I was a busboy. And I make decent money for being in high school and shit. And I wouldn't get out of there some nights till one o 'clock in the morning. And we closed at 1130.
Speaker: And I mean I worked as a bouncer I bounced in some bars and clubs and stuff like that now generally as a bouncer we were the last ones to leave because you make sure all your your bartenders and your waitresses and everybody else got to their cars safely and go where they needed to go and then after that then we would Lock down and leave after everybody was else was out. So, you know, I'd seen that side of it too where I
Speaker: my dumbass comes in at seven, eight o 'clock, you know, right before the party crowd comes in and you know, and then you get to talking to the guys in the kitchen that they've been there since like eight o 'clock in the morning and they're like, I don't know. Fucking kitchen. They're dragging out the end of the bar closes at three, but the kitchen closes at midnight and they're still there when the bar closed. Some of them say, yeah, but still, I mean, you know, so that's kind of, that's, that's nice. And dishwasher he he's there until 6 AM.
Speaker: dishwasher. Without the dishwasher, nobody's going to eat. Well, just on paper plates. It really makes for a great five, five star dining because that was the thing. Yeah, that's my man. Yeah, I thought I thought I had uh I was going to I was going to pop in and give Kevin. If this is your first podcast, put your phone on mute now.
Speaker: says the guy who just a couple of episodes ago was like, we were talking and all of a sudden you're like, yeah, last time we were live, your phone was blowing up and we were sitting there talking and the next thing I hear, what the fuck? Sorry, I'm hungry, bro. This is what's called live.
Speaker: Well, I was I was gonna I was gonna go I was gonna go start a podcast war since we're live the same time Kevin's live I was gonna go talk during his podcast But I forgot it's it's 9 o 'clock. So he's on his first 45 minute break. So I Don't get I don't understand. I mean why why do you need a fucking break? It's talking. I
Speaker: because man, you, you, you know, if we, if we did, if we did even 15 minute breaks, every God knows how long we'd be on here until midnight every night, every time it would be a different story. Well, he goes from eight to 11.
Speaker: But he has an hour and a half of breaks. So it would be a different story. I understand if you got to take a break because you have sponsors or ads. Pay the bills, so to say. As the old radio guys would say on terrestrial radio, like actual radio guys would say, we got to go pay the bills. And they would take a five, 10 minute break.
Speaker: but I've been I've been on his show. I've physically been on his show and and and been a guest on his show and they just go outside and they smoke and then they stand on their bullshit and I'm like, we can be doing this on the podcast. Yeah, we can be we can be up there with going live and doing look at that farmers. Oh, you can't see it. You'll have to watch this live and see this **** retarded farmer stand. Move it my guns. Just kidding.
Speaker: From my elbow down, I'm like Native American, indigenous people. And then from my elbow up, I look like fucking Casper. My son, he went out of the pool with a bunch of his buddies.
Speaker: And he came in. I was like, okay, you got to take a shower. You got to get the chlorine off. He took his shirt off. I was like, Jesus Christ. You see a perfect line where he short stopped. I was like, good God. I told Summer, I was like, I'm going to go to play the fitness in the next couple of days. Not that I use my gym membership, but I'm going to use their tanning bed. Yeah, no kidding. She's like, you're an idiot. I'm like, I mean, they're free. I pay for it.
Speaker: i have i don't know i really have a farmer's tan so to speak because uh i don't go outside if i can avoid it yeah well i will when i start building the closet and whatnot because i'll be outside building this damn thing
Speaker: Well, I mean, I work outside. So much like today, I mean, today we did two nuisance wildlife jobs. So we were just sealing up and closing off houses so that rodents and vermin couldn't get in the house. So I was literally just.
Speaker: out in the sun all day long. Now, fortunately, my boss is really cool. And he was like, you're not getting on the roof. I'm going to get on the roof. And I'm like, I'm okay with that because I'm a bitch. And I'm scared. These are big ass. You go ahead, get on the roof. I'll sit down here and watch. I mean, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't just watching. I was, I was actually working. I was doing stuff, you know, it's nice to have that. And even he said it, which was cool. I really liked my boss. You know, he's, he's a cool guy. I've never worked for anybody like him.
Speaker: But he's like, we got in the truck after the first one. He's like, that went faster than I thought it would. He's like, thank you. And I'm like, what did I do? He's like, no, seriously, thank you. He's like, you were more help than you thought you were. And I was like, well, I mean, I knew I was trying to help him be busy. He's like, no. He's like, I was grateful to have you here. He's like, just how many times did I forget to get something? And you were right there and coming up the ladder and handing it to me. He's like, imagine if I had to get up and down. It's nice to get that little bit of gratification.
Speaker: from your work. But yeah, I should have lost my train of thought. No, I got a buddy of mine that he and I were he went he went clear for it. But he does he works on like those high, super high power lines and, you know, change the light bulb on a fucking radio. Yeah, he's a he's a tower. I got a buddy of mine that does that.
Speaker: And he constantly posts pictures of him up in his giant fucking towers. I was like, you know what? Good for you. You deserve a fucking penny, that giant paycheck, because he gets paid really good. Oh, yeah, they get paid. They couldn't pay me enough. They could not pay me enough. They could not pay me enough. Yeah. Have you heard about this guy that's got this job? It takes him. It takes him four hours.
Speaker: a year to do this job. He gets like $124 ,000 for it. No, he works one day a year. Works for four hours because it takes four hours to climb this tower and change the light bulb. Yeah, fuck that. A giant radio tower that he has to climb. It's got, you know, the ladders in the middle. It's just a big, you know, fucking weird triangle.
Speaker: and it's like stupid high, he gets like 124 grand a year and he works four hours a year. No, fuck all that. Well, it's eight hours in total because it takes four hours to get up, four hours to get down. Well, it probably take three minutes to change the bulb. Is he only changing one bulb or is he changing bulbs all the way up? No, he's changing one bulb. It's the one, well, I think there's a total on this tower of like six bulbs.
Speaker: Yeah, and so he works multiple times throughout the year. But the main thing he's paid for is change the bulb at the top Yeah, yeah, so he might change one bulb in In you know august and then another bulb in december and then another bulb in in january, you know something like that. Yeah, he works like a grand total of like four days a year four or five days a year but i'm like I don't give a fuck what you're paying
Speaker: I'm not climbing that **** ladder. Even if I'm wearing one of the stupor harnesses. Yeah, no, that's that's that's dumb. I mean, that's just not for me. I got a buddy of mine that's a tower guy and he'll do videos up on it and this is how afraid of heights that I am. He'll do a video and I'll click on it. If he's up on the top of the tower, **** hanging off of it and I start to get queasy and butterflies and **** in my stomach, dude. It's it's it's ridiculous.
Speaker: No, no, uh, I I go with the philosophy my dad had it when my dad worked for me. He was a plumber for most of the time, you know most of his life and uh He used to say I got a five -foot step letter in my truck If I go higher than that call somebody else call somebody else Well, that's kind of my that's kind of my philosophy right now. I and my boss makes whatever because
Speaker: I tell you, I'm not built, I ain't built to be in crawl spaces and attics. And, and, you know, he's still, you know, there's been some that aren't too bad. Some attics are fantastic. I can actually stand up and, or some of the people that have like a basement and half a crawl, you can get up there and I can bend over and walk, but that's like, I,
Speaker: There are certain things that people my size just are not meant to do and no get into these tiny places in one of them And another thing is if I was meant to be high up in there. I'd be a fucking bird Yeah, I mean I remember when I was Like 13 14 we had to dig up our septic tank. Yeah and I
Speaker: Uh what you can only pump so much and the rest has to be shoveled out Yeah, and I remember climbing down in it in a pair of overalls Oh, yeah, i've been I've been shoveling that shit out. I can do that. I don't care. That doesn't bother me I can do it in any crawl space. What doesn't matter Disgusting i'm not just I don't care. Yeah, but if I have to go higher than five feet forget it
Speaker: Yeah, like, like, I've been down in the subject. Yeah, subject tanks are not small by any means. I mean, it means I used to do that type of work. I used to install and repair septic systems. And we used to get all of our tanks from UPI. They're not burning. Oh, yeah. But uh,
Speaker: Yeah, no, I don't do heights. Even today we had to, we had to set up the 38 foot ladder because the second house we were at, and he was like, Hey, where's the snips? And I was like, fuck, I don't know. I thought you had them up there with you. And then they were on the back of the truck and he was like, well, do you want to bring them up? And I was like, uh, I'll bring them up. And he was like, if you're not comfortable, yeah. He's like, if you're not comfortable, don't come up here. And I was like, no, I'll do it up. But I was going slow. He was like,
Speaker: You really, you really are afraid of heights, aren't you? Like, I have no problem going up. It's coming down. But he told me. You look down as you go down. No, no, no, no. He told me a couple of times. He's like, if you're not comfortable coming up the ladder, don't come up the ladder. He's like, I'm not going to make you come up this ladder. That's dumb.
Speaker: And I was like, oh, no, no, no, no. It was only like 40 feet. But I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker: I installed a set of kitchen cabinets for a lady about 12 years ago, 12, 14, 15 years ago. And I had to turn off the water. Now turning off the water in Mexico is a weird thing because you actually have to, you can't turn it off in the street because all the houses have what's called a Tanaka. It's basically a big water tower sits on top of your house.
Speaker: And so you have like very gravity feet ish, right? So you have to turn it off up there, which means it's on the roof. Yeah, which is not a problem because it was a single story house. No big deal. However, the easiest way to get to her roof, she had a like a tin roofed awning and I had to walk along the edge so not to fall through the fucking thing. Oh, Jesus. And and I installed everything and I went to go turn it on and there was a leak.
Speaker: I was like, Shit, time back up there turned it off. You know, I think I went up up up there like four or five times. But after the fifth time, I literally called my my girlfriend at the time crying, because I had fallen off the tin thing. And I landed into an empty lot that next to a piece of rebar that would have gone through my fucking spine.
Speaker: It was sticking up in the ground and I would, I almost land on it. And it was like three o 'clock in the morning. I was beat and I was just like, Oh my God, almost fucking died. And I don't, I just want to fucking go home. And I still had like six hours worth of work to do, but it scared the shit out of me after I fell off that little bit of roof. And it was only five, six feet off the ground. But I mean, if I would have landed on that rebar, I would have been done.
Speaker: I was totally, I'm totally out of heights. I don't do it. Oh, she freaked me out. I was almost just like, I just want to go home. Oh,
Speaker: No, I just I've never never ever been a fan. I don't do shit like that. But you know, sometimes single story is my my top. Yeah, a single story I have no problem with because I can literally jump off a single story and land on my feet. Two stories won't do it.
Speaker: No, about about I'm done. I don't do heights. I don't want any part of it. I don't want to, I don't want to walk on your roof. I don't want to do anything on your roof. I just want to, um, I like firmly on the ground, firmly on the ground or wants to know how you don't shoot those dogs barking all day long. Oh, you get used to it. It's not necessarily my dogs. There's like,
Speaker: In our little 64 house cul -de -sac thing, I guess. There is maybe 50 dogs. Yeah. Everybody's got at least one dog. I have four. The one lady's got this giant fucking St. Bernard. One lady's got a, what's called a Husky that is massive.
Speaker: And it's got those Husky eyes. There's actually three Huskies, but most dogs here. Well, don't you know, doesn't one of your neighbors have, I think you said a giant ass fucking Beethoven Saint Bernard. Yeah. Saint Bernard. Welcome back, pretty girl.
Speaker: The other day when we were on the podcast, she was walking past my car and I was like, good God, thanks. You got a fucking dog is huge. Speaking of. That's that's not weird or anything. Excuse me, man. Can I ride your dog? Can I ride your dog? We did a story about that. We did a story about that. We ain't gonna get your shit. Is that a perfect thing?
Speaker: Yeah Jesus shots fired so speaking of big ass speaking of big ass animals Yeah large animals a couple weeks back we were talking about Well, I was talking about animals that I could beat up You were talking about animals that you would run like a little girl screaming for your mommy That reminds me somebody was talking about
Speaker: No matter how tough you actually think you are, it would be actually impossible to beat up most of the animals you were talking about. Well, you know, I challenge accepted. I mean, don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong. I'd like to watch from a particular for chose your class. But you heard me challenge. You heard me. What challenge accepted, motherfucker? Watch me beat the brakes off of a black bear. I'm telling you, dude,
Speaker: Those claws are like razor sharp. They got one swipe on you. Yeah. Well, you know what? I'll bob and bob and weave zig and zag and kick him in his fucking day. Doing this podcast by myself. You'll be, I'll still be here. I'll kick the bear. I'll kick the bear.
Speaker: half my face, but I'm ready to rock this motherfucker. I'll kick the bear in his dick. When he hunches over, I'll grab him, hit him with a double knee in the face, spin around, put him in a triangle choke, and make him tap out. Hey, I didn't say I would run like a girl from L animals. I told you, I whooped the shit out of a bunny rabbit, dude. Yeah, I heard you. You should see my daughter's psychotic rabbit. I think you would run from that rabbit.
Speaker: That **** rabbit's a lunatic, man. She just runs around this apartment like she owns the place but I was I was I was eating some cheeses when I got home from work and this rabbit came out of nowhere jumped up on my lap got stuck her like stuck her face right in my face and she's like, what's up, bro?
Speaker: Let me learn new cheeses. I'm like, okay. I was getting more cheeses. I was like, I don't know. You're talking about you could beat up a bear and shit, but this rabbit just stole your food. No. Okay. First of all, she was stealing my food. We were hanging out eating cheeses together. And I don't even know if rabbits can eat cheeses.
Speaker: I don't know if it's bad for her or not but man, she was putting down some cheeses. She was loving them and then I put them away and and she like got right up in my face again. I was like, Jesus are gone Luna. It's time to it's time to chill out bro. She jumped out and few minutes later, she jumped back up and then she was like running back and forth across the back of the couch jumping on my shoulder. This rabbit's a **** lunatic. But anyways, what I was going to say about
Speaker: Parker just caught a lightning bug and took it inside and said it'll live there. Congratulations on the new rules. On the new what? So New Hampshire man, we're hanging out in New Hampshire tonight. Nice. That's Mark.
Speaker: That's what I said, Mark. Congratulations on the new way. Uh, a bandit responsible for vehicle break -ins surveillance video helped police get to the bottom of a series of vehicle break -ins in the town of Thornton, New Hampshire. Home security captured the bandit, a black bear opening the door of a vehicle and then crawling inside. The police believe that the bear was rummaging for food.
Speaker: and that the bear is responsible for damaging other vehicles. Police warn residents to remove food from their vehicles to avoid enticing the bear. The good news is the criminal is unarmed and probably not dangerous. Officials say that making loud noises is usually enough to send a black bear scamper in a way. So therefore, and I got another bear story for you.
Speaker: Um, so therefore, not only am I bigger than black bears, I know I'm louder than a black bear. So now would you be running screaming like a little girl? Yeah. I'm going to send the bear running towards you, screaming like a little girl. And you're going to be like, ah, this bear is chasing me. Meanwhile, the bear's going to be like, oh, that other bear is screaming at me.
Speaker: And not bearing the gay, and not bearing the gay since you sons of bitches. I was going to say, there's a little softball. I was trying to think of something to say. But he might think you're his cub. He might think you're his cub. You know, buddy.
Speaker: Hey Jeff, how's life going over there buddy? How that running shit work out for you Mama bears are the worst absolutely
Speaker: Oh no. So Summer told me the story. You know, we're going to Pigeon Forge next week. Yeah, next week. Right. Yeah, it was like eight days, right? Yeah. Yeah, we got eight days actually. Exactly. Almost seven days. But she said this chick fell asleep in a hammock out there and got mauled by a bear. And I was like, well, did she
Speaker: die like what happened she's like i don't know somebody went to the jeff school of articles news articles this is critical information woman
Speaker: I need to know what's going on. I need to, I need to be prepared for when we get up there. If a bear comes out the woods, is he going to try to kill me or did he just want to try to fight me? I need to know these things. So I need to go into the situation. That would be the ultimate, that would be the ultimate, uh, shame. First it would kick your ass, then it'd just be like, I'm gonna fuck this guy. Oh my God.
Speaker: I'm tapping out. I'll tap out. All right, you win, Bear. I was wrong. I couldn't fight you. Then he's like, surprise. Oh, God. He's huge.
Speaker: Oh, that would suck. No, no, no, no. No mean Jess. He's not a fucking Jess. Whatever you do, Chris, don't say yes. He already else surprised you. No, but he'll take that as in you want it in your mouth.
Speaker: Mama bears are the worst, especially when you take the cubs to cuddle with you. You cannot have a bear in summer. Stop it. She's like, the news article didn't say. Yeah. Yeah. I think I could fight a black bear. I could beat my dogs. I think I could be at the way with that.
Speaker: Well, you already said you're gonna ride your neighbor's dog you might as well start beating off your other dogs Can I get that website research only it's scientific research Oh my god Somebody sent me a link to a website like that and I was like that's fucked up
Speaker: After like 15 videos, I was like, okay, I'm gonna turn it off. It's like a weird long car accident. You're just like, wow, she really likes that horse. It was a terrible story or a terrible web page. It was a terrible web page after four hours. Yeah. Well, it was one of those things. You read the title of some of these videos and you're like, wait, what?
Speaker: No, holy shit. There is a there is a website. And this website has I heard about this on a podcast, there's a website, and I think it's been taken down. But there's only one video on this website. It's called Mr. Happy Hands. I don't know if it was calm or whatever. But it's a guy. And it's all shot in that Paris Hilton.
Speaker: night vision, you know, and he sneaks onto a farm and Allows a horse To diddle him Diddle him or full -on penetrate him full -on penetrate to the point where you can tell the horse goes in because at first and the guy's like oh and then all of a sudden the horse is
Speaker: Horses cock hits like lube or something and goes all the way in and it's like Well, apparently Six months after this website went live in this video people started talking about it stuff. The guy died from doing the same thing Because he went and found another horse and the other horse went deep and pulverized his insides Yeah, I don't under
Speaker: So anyways in Japan Anyways in Japan rescuers in Japan save a woman from drowning Only to discover that she was a sex doll I
Speaker: Nice. How realistic was that doll? Have you not seen these sex dolls? Oh, I've seen them. I've seen them. They're crazy. Have you seen that guy? There's a guy in Japan. He's got like 15 of them.
Speaker: They're they're they're grand a piece. Yeah, they're making them. They're making them uh animatronic and they uh have AI and stuff in them. Um they're getting they're getting sophisticated as self -terminator too. I ain't playing that move game. But this is uh one of these days that thing's gonna wake up and go no, I'm gonna **** you. I'm like what?
Speaker: surprise. She's going to be sitting on the chair and you're going to wake up and look at her. She's just winking at you. Yeah. I got your bitch. Yesterday motherfucker walks over to the bed. There's a guy in Japan. He's got 15 of these and he's got outfits and storylines and all that stuff. And he's like, there was a guy so much better than a regular relationship because she doesn't talk.
Speaker: There was a guy in Florida.
Speaker: there's a guy in Florida, I think that married his and like his mom was all on board and everything. And they have a Facebook page and like, they have one of those joint Facebook page. Like not only is this dude pussy whoop to the point where, where he has a joint Facebook page, but it's with a goddamn sex doll sex. And, and she, and he got her pregnant and they had a baby and his mom was like, well, they want to know about a fabric fat kid and said, look, we have a baby.
Speaker: Yeah. They bought a, they bought like one of those, uh, uh, it wasn't in Florida. Are you sure it wasn't in Florida? Yeah.
Speaker: It was, it was like one of those real life dog. Oh, it was in Georgia. Okay. My bad. It was in Dalton, Georgia. It was where summer was but like, and then she went missing and there was like a whole thing. It was, it was a weird, like, it was like, no, she went missing. Like, like, they're like, help find Stephanie mom or whatever the fuck her name was. And it was just like, somebody stole her or he just misplaced where he left his sex. She went missing. So he,
Speaker: killed her, you know, like, like that was, that was just so weird. Summer says it was in Dalton, Georgia. It was like 30 minutes from her. My bad. I'm sorry. I just, Georgia, Florida, basically the same things at this point. Well, with somebody like that, they're probably originally from Florida. Yeah.
Speaker: I don't know. I couldn't remember exactly where the story was from. I just, when we started talking about it, but yeah, it says, uh, it says rescuers in Japan pulled a drowning woman out of the water only to discover it was a sex doll. Uh, YouTuber Tanaka Nasuki was filming when she saw the body in the water before emergency services rushed to the scene in the city of, uh,
Speaker: Yeah, and in some city in Japan. Yeah. Hachouen. Hachin. Hachir. Hachiho. Natsuki had suspected that it was a woman being pulled to safety before soon realized that it was a rubber doll, which is sometimes referred to as a Dutch wife in the country. She explained while I was filming for my fishing video, I thought that a corpse had come floating by. It turned out to be a Dutch wife. I wonder why they call them Dutch wives.
Speaker: But it seems someone misunderstood what it what it was and called authority. So a ton of police, fire trucks, ambulances showed up. Thankfully, the wife was safely rescued. And everybody all sat around going, we're idiots. And then fought over who got to keep it. Speaking of stupid people. Oh, man.
Speaker: Mark, this is your mark. This is your territory. OK, here we go. A woman falls for an alien after getting fed up with men. She falls for like Paul.
Speaker: A woman who is fed up with men says she has fallen in love with an alien. When I hear alien, I'm thinking like, oh, that's cute. Her and Juan fell in love, you know? Good for Juan. Congratulations, Juan. You come to America and you found yourself a beautiful woman now. Good for you. Yeah, yeah. So she says she's fallen in love with an alien.
Speaker: Abby Bella has claimed that she was recently abducted by extraterrestrials who took her from her flat in London and fell head over heels for one of her captors. So she's got like a weird alien kidnapping rape fantasy. Mark just says, bruh, bruh. Bella told the Daily Star newspaper, I'm sick of men from our.
Speaker: Bella told the Daily Star, I'm sick of men from Earth. I joked online about wanting an alien to abduct me. I then started dreaming every night of a white light. One night a voice in my dream said, wait in the usual spot. The next evening, I sat next to my open window as I drifted to sleep, a flying saucer appeared outside.
Speaker: There was a bright green beam which transported me to the UFO. Bella described how she was abducted by five. That's a fucking gangbang. Great kidnapping. I was going to say.
Speaker: But uh Bella to describe she was a duck abducted by five tall slender aliens but felt a deep affection for one of them was
Speaker: Yeah, but she felt a deep penetration by all of them. Yeah, I was gonna say. Like I said, I've seen that video. Yeah, she said there was one who connected with me. I felt the same. Oh yeah, he connected alright. I felt the same. He said I had to consent. He said I had to consent. To go with them. He's like sign this. But but she didn't want to say yes and oh my god in case they took her
Speaker: in case they took her forever. This first comment at the end of this story. It says stop drinking on your own. It's obviously damaging your brain.
Speaker: You should not drink the long water. Mark, Mark, who chimes did Hayden on Florida? He said she was shipped from Florida. She's not really from London. She's a Floridian woman. She's a Floridian. She's a Floridian. She's a Floridian. Oh, that's messed up. Oh, man. We've we've had some we've had some some stories.
Speaker: That's that's like that lady that married like the Eiffel not the Eiffel Tower, but the like Empire State Building or some shit. Yes. There was a chick that married a roller coaster Let's see what else is going on here man testicle eating fish Whistlery read that one. Yeah, man. I just that's still box me Summer's a testicle eating fish
Speaker: There you go, where's this one from this sounds like it's from Russia cuz yeah The headline says couple breakup after 123 days handcuffed together
Speaker: I love my wife. Yeah. Handcuffed my wife for that long. No, no, no, no. Maybe a couple hours because as much as I love my wife, it's like, you know what? I need to go take a shit. Leave me alone. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, I wish I don't I don't have privacy when I should anymore with summer because No, I don't think that but I mean she but she won't she won't come in the bathroom. I'm sitting there dropping a deuce I don't want somebody sitting there standing there with my arm up because they're handcuffed to me going I'll just be a minute Sorry, sorry, I had the enchiladas last night. Oh Wow like well like summer summer doesn't come in and hang out
Speaker: Summer doesn't come in and hang out with me in the bathroom. She just passes me, which I enjoy. Don't get me wrong. She just slides love notes under the door to me, making sure my food's going good and everything like that. Usually it's a note that says light a match, fat ass. Yeah, no, she like.
Speaker: And she just slid a piece of paper under the door and I'm like, what the hell? And she's like, read it. So I picked it up. It was like, it was just like, hey, baby. And then she slid another one. And she was like, I just want you to know I miss you.
Speaker: I just said another one. I hope your poop's going good. I hope you're having a good poop. She just said another one. Just so you know, I love you. I'm just like, what the hell? I'm trying to poop. Give me 10 minutes. Give me 10 minutes. Mark said he couldn't be handcuffed to himself, let alone someone else. I know, right? I mean, like I said,
Speaker: Out of all the people I could be handcuffed to, I would want it to be my wife, because I have no secrets for my wife anyways, but how many days were they handcuffed together? Hundred and something days? It says a couple of spent 123 days handcuffed to each other. Jesus Christ. Split up as soon as they were freed. Victoria. Can you blame them? Pastovia and Alexander could link themselves together back on Valentine's Day.
Speaker: back on Valentine's Day to test their bond, but it turns out that the experience only took its toll on their relationship. The pair used cutters to finally free themselves from each other. They could even wait to get the key. Yeah. Just give me a big cutter's pitch. Victoria Victoria could be heard celebrating as she was released.
Speaker: She said, I want to live my own independent life and grow as an independent person. And Sasha, Alexander, Alexander added that the pair were happy to have shared the experience together, but feels that they are better off going their separate ways. He said, thank you for
Speaker: Thank you a lot. Fucking refreshing bullshit. He said, thank you. Thank you all for supporting us. Look, we are now at a distance from each other. We are happy and we are now happy to have experienced at this experience. He was like, I am so happy this bitch is nowhere near me. No kidding.
Speaker: Speaking of Summer, and I meant to say this earlier, she likes to hear me poop. I didn't mean to say that earlier. And I did mean to do this earlier, but I did want to say congratulations to her. She got nominated for Manager of the Year. She's one of 12 nominees for the entire Boop Barn franchise.
Speaker: I think they have 300. She'll correct me 360 some stores almost 400 stores. So that's pretty awesome. And when they do their Vegas thing, then I think they're going to announce the winner and all that jazz. So good luck to her. Hopefully she, uh, good luck. Sorry.
Speaker: but she's she's getting she's because you know it's a voting process so you know all the other stores they all they all vote on who they think should win she gotta she gotta write a speech or something i don't know that would be pretty cool like but um well she is having stickers made um it says uh it's it's a cowboy boot with a cowboy hat and it says if you ain't booting you ain't scooting vote for vote summer 2021
Speaker: So hopefully, uh, I told her she'll, uh, she's awesome. She, she's a hell of a store manager and, uh, she was campaigning. She, she, um, she does so much more outside of her store. That's the thing. I mean, whether it be, uh, going to store openings, not even in her region, uh, she's, she's done a store opening up here in Ohio. She didn't want an Indiana. She's done, she's done several store openings. Um,
Speaker: and uh she uh i mean that's that's impressive but it all comes down to uh she she obviously likes what she does oh yeah so she and that's that's 90 percent of of enjoying life is finding something you like to do
Speaker: Yeah, and Bootbar seems like a pretty good company. Like I said, she does a lot outside of being just a store manager for her store, and she kicks ass at her store too. She doesn't have the biggest store, but she puts up numbers that
Speaker: money -wise and stuff like that that are right up there with some of the bigger stores. She said she had to write it. So I'm assuming one of the bosses said on a thing that said that they wanted a headshot and that she had to write a bio about herself like a real quick bio and it was giving her anxiety today. Hi, my name's Summer and I like to have sex with my boyfriend and drink wine. I drink wine and listen to my boyfriend poop.
Speaker: Well, if you win and if she wins and she has to do a speech, she's got to mention the podcast. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, you got to mention it. She's like, you know, big convention. She's like, she's like, I'd like to thank everybody for voting for me. I'm glad I won. And every listen, nonsense go nonsense.
Speaker: Everybody's like, yeah, what the fuck? It's my boyfriend and his stupid little friend and their dumb podcast. Oh, speaking of our podcast, my step home, I went over there the other day, Sunday, I went over there.
Speaker: No, no, because my old man was listening Saturday, and Saturday was just a fucking mess. I'm not looking forward to listening to that episode, but you know what, it is what it is. We still had fun doing it. But she was like, if I could say one thing about your podcast, she was like, you curse a lot. You should probably shit me. I'm like,
Speaker: Well, that's because it's my fucking podcast and I have the mic. That's right. I didn't say that, but I was like, well, you know. My criticism, my mom gave us two. She's like, you know, you guys curse a lot. I'm like, yeah, we don't hold back. Yeah. I was like, I was like, I curse a lot in real life. I was like, but that's the thing. We're uncensored. When we post the podcast, it's labeled, uh, explicate adults, you know, or, you know, it's, it's exploited expletive.
Speaker: Yeah. Exploitive. Whatever. Exploited. I'm so exploited every time I do this podcast. So, I mean, Dirty Boys. Summer called us Dirty Boys. She said, she said, listen, I'm making stickers and and and all. It's like she's making campaign stickers and everything.
Speaker: And I'm a and and as and as pops just said I'm a glick too but pops pops was like pops took up Stook up for us. So he was like, yeah, that's their podcast leave them alone. Basically, you know, I curse a lot in real life like, you know It's not like it's not like I turn on the mic and then all of a sudden magically. I'm just like fuck shit You know, I'm a good old Christian boy. Yeah
Speaker: Well, you know, they say people that curse while they have a conversation are more intelligent. I don't think anybody would ever use the word intelligent to describe either one of us, just so you know. I don't think so either. But it's I had a point and I don't remember what it was.
Speaker: This is what we're like in real life I mean this is I mean if you and I were literally just sitting around drinking beer This would be the conversations where we win it Exactly. I mean, this is the conversations that we had before we started this podcast by this my new stories, but You know, well, no, but we'd say dude you I read this fucking story in the news, you know, yeah, we'd literally give our give each other headlines and basically what I still do but
Speaker: But that's that's the whole concept. I mean when we when we decided to do the podcast We had been talking for like what three months Yeah, something like that and we were like, you know what and we talked about podcasting prior but we really didn't uh Take each other serious about it until we we finally sat around we were like fuck we should just do this Yeah, man. Listen fucking rock and roll I mean because we're like it's not like we're gonna
Speaker: have anything planned. Oh, my mother just sent a message. She says I can't drop your socks and grab your cocks. Yeah, here it goes. I'm gonna turn the camera on real quick because mom says, Okay, mom says when you do surgery on your balls, they don't remove the scrotum, only the testicle tissue inside.
Speaker: Yes, but can you reattach? Yeah, but can you put it back? Nice, nice flip flops. You need to get a pedicure there, buddy. I know, right? Go get yourself a mani pedi. You deserve it. But is it possible to put them back, mom, is the question. I don't know if that went. Well, is she watching live? We can just ask her. I don't know if she's watching live. She might be a few minutes behind because she watches on the YouTube.
Speaker: oh yeah because uh and it's it's it uh that way she can walk away hit pause walk away something else and then come back and it's right where she left off as opposed to on facebook she'd have to rewind and all that stuff she's not a real fan mom's out mom's out of fan club
Speaker: She was our only listener when we started. I'm going to get I'm going to get a message after this. She's going to be like, really? Fuck you. Really? There goes your Christmas gift.
Speaker: She likes, she likes, she likes hitting me with one word messages and then I hit her back. What? She, I want to send you a screenshot of what she sent me when she put, you know, when they, they don't cut off the balls, she put balls in quotes. Well, your mom was a, your mom was a nurse, right? She was a nurse. My mom was an RN, but she was, she was a oncology nurse. I don't know what the fuck psychology is.
Speaker: Yeah, cancer. Oh, okay. Okay. Fucking on what she said something else. What'd she say? Um, yeah. Mark said, Mark, Mark said that, uh, put the tissue back, but it'd probably not be sterile. Well, yeah. And then you automate it. Yeah. As you say, automatically, you're, you're, uh, I don't even know if this is a real word or not, but if it's not fucking, you're de -sterilized, you're, you're, you're,
Speaker: Which I mean, if you're older and you have kids, great. But if you're a young guy, and I don't know how old this Mr. CF was, you know, but if he's a younger cat and he, and he wanted to have kids, you know, if he was like in his early twenties or mid twenties, early thirties, and he was wanting to have kids down the road, now he can. Well, he can adopt.
Speaker: with all the money he's going to get from suing the hospital and the doctor? She hit. For some, he keeps talking about his baby nonsense. I'm going to be like, we can adopt one that can wipe its own ass already. I wipe my own ass. Keep up. Keep up anonymous. Damn you. You can do the detail runs.
Speaker: For those of you that don't know that movie, because that movie is genius. I'm pretty sure Big Daddy is literally one of Adam Sandler's greatest movies. What's his five year plan? Dying? Not dying. I love the fact that they end up at Hooters. He's in the back and he just waits.
Speaker: Such a dumb movie fucking Adam Sandler is I love grown -ups. I love grown -ups. I thought it was hilarious too. I love both of them. Oh I've seen that tik -tok video with David Spade that you were talking about people where he was like the Joe dirt shirt Three fucking videos out. Yeah, he was like
Speaker: People say I know you from Grown Ups. I've been watching you since Grown Ups. Really? It's like Grown Ups. Please, if you know this shirt, and it says Mr. Dirt. Yeah. But he always pronounced, Joe Dirt always pronounced it, it's Dear Tay.
Speaker: We can adopt Mark and and we can we can adopt a foreign kid. Mark said adopt me. I volunteer. He's like, what do they say in Hunger Games? I know you've seen it. Oh, it's uh uh I volunteer as tribute. Yeah.
Speaker: of the
Speaker: Viability, high blood supply would make it impossible to guarantee that tissue would survive. But the fact that the fact that that's the thing that kills me in this story was like the doctor was supposed to take the left nut or tissue or whatever he was supposed to do is we're just going to dumb it down because we can only assume that our audience was ball sack and clip the wrong ball. I mean, as soon as that doctor realized he clipped the wrong ball, wouldn't he just be like, well, let's reattach this motherfucker.
Speaker: Well, yeah, I mean, that's the thing. I mean, seconds. Yeah, the doctor not only not only did he take the wrong one in the middle of the procedure after he took it, we're just going to say he took the nut because he dropped the ball. Jeff and Joyce taking the nut.
Speaker: but um uh you know he he he was like oh shit this is the wrong one so my so his first instinct was i'm gonna take the other one fuck it we're throw this nut in the jar we'll take this one throw that in the jar with him we got a pair does he do a shack at the fucking basket at the basket across the room just like are we looking at dirty underwear what are you talking about i don't know what we're looking at oh she's somewhere's talking about
Speaker: uh drawer because I have everything sitting in a drawer and no it's not dirty underwear it's it's a weird snakeskin faux skates snakeskin shirt we're looking at Jim Brody ass feet man he needs to take a mom day at the spa and he'll get a mani -pedi I can't say much I can't say much I've got fucking velociraptor claws on my feet and I'm like oh I'm getting ready to go I'm getting ready to go on vacation probably you know
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. I was, I was wearing flip flops the other day and I was like, I should probably do something about these before I go on vacation. Cause they're probably going to be out in the sun. Hey pops, if you're still watching, can I borrow a grinder? Do you have one? They're cheap too. I was wanting another one. A grinder and a sawzall.
Speaker: I already I apparently I already got to pick up the fucking weed whacker and hedge trimmers before I go down Summer said she wasn't gonna shake I'm just gonna take my I'm gonna I'm gonna give you one of those one of those goofy ass safari hats and I would take my machete
Speaker: What you do is get you a cheap a cheap Boy Scout uniform and just show up and go the wilderness must be
Speaker: No, because the scary thing about that is what if I show up with a Boy Scout uniformers? I know I'm wearing a **** Boy Scout uniform for the rest of my life. You show up with a podcast with with your little kerchief and I'm like, what the **** are you wearing? This is all like, let me sit down and tell you a
Speaker: I'm like, oh, this is about to get fucked up. Summer's in the background. Come and earn your knot -tying badge, Boy Scout. Time to get your weed whackers killed, sir. I've already earned my wilderness survival badge.
Speaker: We know you can get your, what is it? The nautical one. Deep sea diving.
Speaker: Oh, there you go. Moms is in the comments. If there is cancer treatment, would still render the patient sterile. Many young men do sperm dictation before treatment, either surgery or... Yeah, but I don't know what... They didn't go into much detail on this story, obviously, because of HIPAA laws. Like the guy didn't even give his name or anything like that. Right. Well, he's embarrassed, obviously. Yeah, so I don't know.
Speaker: I don't know the full details of why he was having one of his boys removed. He doesn't say in the article why he was having it removed. Well, on that note, it is two hour mark. My wife's yelling already. Oh, yeah. Jeff got in trouble last time because he went over two hours. And apparently, his wife wears the pants in the relationship. I'm playing them. Hey, I'm not playing them.
Speaker: That's just what I put it this way. I don't ever have to make a decision because they've been made for me. Jesus Christ. The old man almost cut his fucking thumb off tonight with the sawzall. Oh, you know what happened to his face? Speaking of which, he sent me a message. He said he he fought a trailer and the trailer won the tongue popped up and popped him in the face. Yeah, the cable on. He's got like a like a just stay away from tools and stuff, dude. Yeah, this is why we're going to put him in a hole.
Speaker: But yeah, he's got he's got this big ass trailer. You drop the you drop the back the the gate on it and it's got the cables. Well, apparently he walked into the cables. I I don't know. I I I still think my I still think my stepmom whooped his ass finally but so so then tonight about me about that podcast.
Speaker: Yeah. Tell your son he's got a dirty mouth. You motherfucker. It's all your fault. But yeah, so apparently he tried to take his thumb off with the souls all tonight. Interesting. I'll have to get that story from him. We'll have to talk about that Saturday. But yeah, we're good.
Speaker: We're gonna yeah, we yeah send pictures. Did you did you fucking mangle your thumb? Let's see the We're gonna have a whole a whole Sub topic on our page Pops fucking himself up Pops gets wrecked
Speaker: just weekly pictures from my dad trying to kill himself. Slowly, in the most painful way possible. I'm gonna cut my thumb off. Oh, that's gonna take a minute. Yeah, let's go ahead and close out. I'm sweating like a pig in this room. Yes, because Jeff gets in trouble if we go over two hours.
Speaker: Yeah. Well, it also makes it better for our listeners that three hour podcast. I don't think most people get to the funny part. Uh, you know, I don't know. I don't know, man. I think, I think people are listening and I've actually talked to a couple of people, uh, recently, you know, obviously I'm all those, uh, those, uh, promote your podcast, Facebook pages and podcast pages and stuff like that. And, uh, I was talking to a couple of people the other day and they're like, yeah, we check out your podcast and, uh, you know, it, they, they like it. They're, they're like,
Speaker: it's one of the one one guy. I don't know if it was a compliment or not but but one guy was like it was like a train wreck. I couldn't turn it off but I was laughing my **** off. So, I'm also at the same time, I'm also starting to follow a bunch of other podcasts and listen to their podcast and you know, again, it segmented not necessarily scripted out but a whole hell lot more
Speaker: Yeah. Well, and the first place. Yeah. And, but yeah, I mean, I've had a lot of people say, yeah, we digging what you guys are doing. We like it. You know, it's, it's, it's funny. So I'm like, all right. I'll take that as a W in the checking the wind and the wind column right there. You know, so when baby.
Speaker: But uh, but yeah, we're gonna end in this and We'll be back Saturday night. I don't see anything on my end. That's gonna Cause us not to be able to go Saturday night so If you're not already we said it at the beginning and that's the only time we always forget We're so horrible. We're like the worst self promoters on the planet if self posting
Speaker: If self -promotion was like masturbation, we would be amazing.
Speaker: That doesn't make any sense I think I'm really good at masturbation. I've been doing it for like fucking yeah, but you're saying you're saying and if we were if something was masturbation we know I said I said no I said I said if we were if we were as good at promoting as we are masturbating
Speaker: if we
Speaker: Yeah, we'd be worldwide Yeah, that's what I said if we were as good in promotion as masturbation Yeah, like a spider -man would be shaking our well, he probably wouldn't shake our hands The Pope would condemn us The Pope would be going the power of Christ compels you yeah, but I mean if we were yeah But if we were 13 year old boys and you know, the Pope would definitely yeah
Speaker: the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the
Speaker: But anyways, thank you guys for listening those who listen live and we're we're chatting away. We appreciate y 'all Those of you guys who check this on check this out on Spotify or wherever you get your podcast. We appreciate all of you guys. Thank you Feel free to follow us on social media Instagram Twitter Facebook Even tick -tock. We don't do much on tick -tock, but it's there if you want to follow us and nonsensical nonsense and
Speaker: Also follow us on Spotify. That's where you can get every episode of of this podcast I guess and if you want to send us an email you can do it at nonsensical nonsense podcast at gmail .com Send us a story to miss a story
Speaker: Send us a picture. Send us a picture of your dildo collection. There you go. Reach around. Reach around to a couple episodes ago. I was I was listening to that episode today. I was dying. But but yeah and also also while you're
Speaker: If you're doing all that if you choose to follow us also check out our guys blacktop mojo at blacktop mojo and on social all social media on Spotify Yeah, those guys are getting ready to go on tour this summer. They're every goddamn where they got a new album dropping soon If we were half as good at self -promotion as they were we'd be huge
Speaker: Yeah, exactly. So go give those guys at Blacktop Mojo some love as well. Tell them nonsensical nonsense sent you. Yeah. So thank you guys for listening. Until next time. Jeff, I'll see you Saturday. Appreciate you hanging out with me and sweating, sweating through the oldies with the 300 degrees in here.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm gonna I do I do appreciate the fact that you're not having the fan on in the background because yeah Wowza that is uh, that is something else when the fans on It doesn't come through it doesn't come through when we're live but when you listen to the listen to it on spotify or or Anchor wherever you listen to it. You can definitely hear it in the background. It's just like a it's just like a low
Speaker: Yeah. It's just a little four inch fan too. Yeah. You dudes, you need to get you one of those little personal air conditioners. They're like a, like a little three by three cube and their money falling off my ass. Well, your wife just got a new job and she's got money falling off her ass. So until next time. See you guys Saturday. We are out of here as always. I don't know how to close this, but we are going.
Speaker: Bye. Bye.
Speaker: Electric eyes Yeah, they pulled me away She said I got you There's no tears So come with me I know where you wanna go
Speaker: Always how you never know In the middle of the sunshine Washed in the starlight Any place or anytime I know it helps
Speaker: Narcotic kills Oh, I finally see The hateful path Enlightenment Stay away your dreams Anywhere you wanna go Anywhere the wind blows
Speaker: Always high and never low In the middle of the sunshine I steal the starlight Anyplace or anytime
Speaker: Anywhere you wanna go Anywhere the wind blows Always I never know In the middle of the sunshine Who asked in the starlight Anyplace or anytime
