Transcript
Speaker: Inside, on the outside Day of domentang time Oh, you're the young man, what's wrong with you now? You're still in silence, you don't make a sound Long day I'm found one time Rise, mind me, mind
Speaker: She never saw me as they both went by Jealousy It's killing me I'm drinking poison hoping that they'll choke
Speaker: Why can't she see? Why am I new? They dance round the room and she holds them close If I think it loud enough, do you think she'll know?
Speaker: I'm drinking poison hoping that they'll choke Across the room I feel so alone
Speaker: I'm drinking poison hope and not the joke Across the room I feel so
Speaker: Actually says I I look like her favorite reggaeton singers names of yandell Start spelled with a y yandell gendel, whatever I don't my wife says I look like a camera or not friends tonight. I know it's cuz I'm standing now We just
Speaker: Actually say something instead of My wife's watching an old video and she's like Yandell I'll show you I'll show you let me pull it up on YouTube here. Oh, I'm gonna look them up Well, no, but it's a certain video That she says I look like him
Speaker: uh... look -up wheezy in yandell or is fucking you to button daughters on netflix she's supposed to be in bed yeah you're a kid is it is it why is it in yandell yep that be him miesztas tendando uh... on our lives uh... i guarantee it's in my playlist
Speaker: My wife listens. No, she's lying to you so she can think about you while she can think about him while you guys have sex. You look nothing like this, dude. Well, hold on. Let me see the video. There's one video she says I look like him.
Speaker: That'd be like if summer was like, that'd be like, that'd be like, if summer was like, you look like Kevin Costner. Well, that's what I keep saying. I'm like, you're crazy. I do not look like this dude. And she's like, you do certain mannerisms that he does. And she's asleep. I can't really, I don't know this song. I thought she had a thing to do. She fell asleep and didn't go. She decided not to go.
Speaker: Well, it was it was kind of an obstacle thing. She wanted to go and dance, but then she fell asleep.
Speaker: But you know basically what that means what that means is she had a Family no, no, actually she got a call. She was actually She's got a call about an hour ago from her friend. She's like aren't you coming? Like you know like a Basically like a snapchat their friends at the club. She's like, you know, come in she's like no I
Speaker: Yeah, it's because that's because her friend was out with Pedro and she was supposed to go dance, go out there and go out with Juan. And now one's like, where's my girl at? And she was asleep. Even Mark said it. She was dancing with Juan. She was supposed to go dancing with Juan. Jeff's girl's got a boyfriend that is better than Jeff. I don't know about that.
Speaker: He dicks her down, right? What are they doing? What are you doing? It's time for bed. Go to bed. Jeff slipped melatonin into her chicken tonight, so she didn't go out with one. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: No, but she said her she's watching this video last night in this guy and she's like you look like him I'm like I would beat that dude's ass days Yeah, but he looks like an actual Gangster yeah, he's Puerto Rican. They all look like that Yeah, he would suck the shit out of you All these reggaeton guys of them What
Speaker: Yeah. You won't need it in your room. You won't need it in your room. Your room's going to be a lot warmer than it is in here. It's the only room in the house with air conditioning. Why would you only put air conditioning in your bedroom? Well, if you leave the door open and crank up the air conditioning down to its lowest setting, it'll cool the entire house. But since it's podcast day, we closed the door.
Speaker: But we're actually in the process of buying another air conditioner too. We're looking at a couple of different ones. I had to fucking turn a fan on earlier because speaking of air conditioning. Because I don't have a, as I was telling you earlier, I don't have a bathroom fan. Right. Because
Speaker: the building, I live into my apartment, super old. So you got to open the bathroom window. And I tell my kids all the time, when you get out of the shower, shut the window. Right. And my daughters just flat out refused to do that. So like when we were on here earlier, bullshit, and I was killing time trying to figure out what the fuck was going on for tonight.
Speaker: I was like, oh, damn, why is it so hot in here? So I went and looked at the thermostat and it was set at 68, but it was like 72 in the house. I'm like, what the fuck? And I was like, hey, Cash, is your bedroom door shut? Because Cash's bedroom door, his bedroom, that what they turned into a bedroom used to be the entrance on this building when this building was originally built. Right.
Speaker: And then, I don't know, 40, 50, whatever years ago, they bricked it off and put the entrance to the apartments on the backside and they built a stairwell on this side and the other thing. And it's an exterior stairwell.
Speaker: So there's no air conditioning and the heating and whatnot. There's no vents in his bedroom. So for heating, there's an electric floorboard heater, and there's nothing in there to keep it cool. But when you open up his door, it heats up the whole apartment.
Speaker: Cash is like how my door shut dude. He's like my door shut dad. It's been shut and I was like, okay And I'm like what the fuck and I turn around and I look in the bathroom and the fucking windows wide open I was like, which one of you guys took a shower today? It's it's just well my apartment's not very big like Probably about the size of my house. It's a tiny apartment
Speaker: My apartment, well, I don't know. I don't know. My apartment is smaller and square footage than my garage I had in Charleston. No. It's a little apartment and it's all concrete. Like it's all concrete. So like that's the great thing about heating and cooling it. And it's got all brand new windows and stuff.
Speaker: But that's the great thing about heating and cooling it. You know, it doesn't take much to cool my apartment where it stays at a certain temperature. And then in the winter time, it doesn't take much to heat it and it stays. But as soon as you open Cassius bedroom, because unless that floorboard heater is on, which it never is, unless he's in there or whatever, he's sleeping in there, this and the other thing.
Speaker: all that cold air just comes out and it, and it cools the whole apartment or vice versa in the summertime. But the window in the bathroom, I don't know. It's, it's, uh, it's, I don't know, maybe, uh, 18 by 18. No, that's decent size.
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, it's it's a good window. It's a good size window. So, but when you open it up and you leave it open all day long because you know, got up this morning, they she took a shower that we got ready when we went to went to the fair and stuff like that. So, I mean, it's been open since ten eleven o 'clock and I didn't notice it until what eight or nine tonight. So, yeah, I'm
Speaker: Yeah. And it was a goddamn. So, you know, I.
Speaker: I was like, fuck, I said, you guys have got to shut this window. And she's like, I forgot. I was like, how do you forget? Turn the shower off, close the window. It's literally and in the window in the bathroom is in the shower. So where the shower is, the window is in there. It's right there. OK. So in the shower. When I'm in the shower. Yeah, when I'm in the shower, when I'm in the shower, I'm like fucking staring at the whole fucking thing the whole time because I'm a guy waving at people.
Speaker: How you doing? I'm in the shower.
Speaker: Have you seen that tick -tock where is this girl's like so we all shit in the shower It's just a bunch of stitches people watch no, yeah some chicks She said it closer sour and I've only seen
Speaker: I've never seen her full video because it's like stitched with like 40 people and she goes, so we all shit in the shower. Everybody's like, nope, no, no, I don't think so. And the final stitch is like, well, that's enough internet for me today. But she's like, says it with the utmost certainty. So we all shit in the shower and I'm like, what the fuck?
Speaker: It's popped up on my for you page like three times and Each time it gets longer and longer with people going. Nope new what new? It cracks me up. Yeah, it's just I mean I won't say I never should in the shower but I Don't think I ever have
Speaker: Well, I think you waffle stop that motherfucker. Now the train really I find in the funniest experience a couple of times where I've been drunk, but a couple of times in my life where I've been really no, no, no. OK, no, no. I've never been that drunk where I'm where I'm getting the job like this. Oh, God.
Speaker: My son asked me the other day, he was watching that movie, Grown Ups. He's watching Grown Ups, too. And he says, Dad, can you burp snart? I was like, no, that's a talent. I do not possess.
Speaker: but but there there there has been uh at least one time in my life that I can remember where I've been like really sick where I've had this is really disgusting to talk about good thing it's like this this lady's little but uh but I've been I've had diarrhea really bad and I was throwing up and I was like I'm gonna get in the shower you know you know trying to try to feel better and then you're like
Speaker: It's just like it's like it's like it's like it's like waterfall coming out of both. Yeah I have Speaking of diarrhea. I have to get this story out. I Remember I when I first bought my beetle I went and took it to a guy that his shop was maybe three blocks from the house and this is when I was with my ex and I
Speaker: Dropped it off. I said look tear the motor part give it all new gaskets New spark plugs, you know, make sure it runs like a champ. He says yeah, no problem. He told me price. That's okay When will it be done? He says I come by tomorrow. I was very cool so the next day I Was like, you know what it's literally six blocks maybe I'll just walk there
Speaker: Yeah. I get about halfway there and I go, Ooh, I got a shit like now. And there's nothing but people's houses that I don't know these people. So I'm like, I'm going to turn around. I'm going to go back to the house. I turn around and I'm it's, it's one of those shits where it's like, if I run, I'm going to shit myself. So I walk.
Speaker: all the way back to the house. Like Cheech Marin and Cheech and Chong up a smoke. Come on Cheech, stay together kind of thing. I get in the door and I'm fumbling with my keys and I could not hold it anymore.
Speaker: I let loose and it went down my shorts into my shoes. I literally I couldn't get the door open fast enough and it just I Literally everything I had on I threw away It was the worst ever and I was like, thank God. I actually came home instead of thinking I could make this guy's shop because a I've been standing this guy's shop was shit all over me and
Speaker: I'm so glad I made the decision to walk back to the house because at least then I could hurt myself, jump right in the shower, nobody ever fucking know until of course I tell people about it.
Speaker: I've cleaved shit off me. Yeah, I'd like to say I've never had that experience before, but... Well, more times than I'd like to say. I'm so glad that nobody was home and I was alone and all that stuff, because if I hadn't been around anybody, I'd have been mortified. I mean, it's funny to talk about now, but...
Speaker: I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna tell you
Speaker: Like granted the shoes, I wasn't wearing like expensive shoes. It was like shoes I had had for like three years. I needed new ones. Anyway, I was going to the shop and I was going to help work on the car. So I, you know, it's not like I was wearing anything expensive, but I, but the, the problem is, is a lot of the food I eat down here does not agree with me.
Speaker: Well, yeah, I was gonna say the the Mexican food in general for me Yeah But so good I can't help but eat it and I and I don't eat it a little bit I eat it a lot like we went my wife and I went since the kids were since her brother and sister here Like three days ago. She sent me messages. Hey, why don't you meet me across from Home Depot? I
Speaker: there's this place they sell barbacoa and it's barbacoa is is it's pork and it's it's it's beef and pork mixed and it's boiled in a brown sauce it's a fucking amazing it's like barbecue but it's not barbecue it's fucking amazing and
Speaker: We got, I get there and she's 20 minutes behind me. So I sat down at the table and I ordered three tacos while I was waiting on her. Then she got there and she's like, are you still hungry? I was like, yeah, I'm fucking, I only ate a little bit waiting on you. And so we ordered a quarter of a kilo, like half a pound and proceeded to devour it.
Speaker: And it's amazing. And they use these handmade corn tortillas that are handmade. There's a lady over in the corner and that's all that's our job. She just makes tortillas all day long. And tortillas I'm raising and it's nothing better than there's two things in Mexico that's nothing that you can't get better than cochinita, which is is
Speaker: They take a pig, they take pork and they bury it in the ground and on coals for like 12 hours. Yeah. Well, that's, I mean, that's how we do. That's how you do it. You stick it in the ground and you just put the shit out of it. They use this special chili on it and stuff, but I get it on Sam. We're like on a subway style bun.
Speaker: What is this? They use a special button down here at the place we go to. But you go for that in the morning with that ice -cold coke. Oh my God. There's nothing better than that in the world. And the same thing with Baba Koa and a nice cold coke. Like, I've had it with beer. It's better with coke, you know?
Speaker: the the
Speaker: Nothing goes good with nothing goes good with coke because Okay Mexican coke Mexican coke is better Coke is better because it's made with real sugar not corn syrup There's a huge difference because because as a pop Coke in Ohio tastes like dick
Speaker: Coke in Mexico tastes amazing. Coke in Mexico tastes amazing. Coke in Mexico tastes amazing. Coke in Mexico tastes amazing. Coke in Mexico tastes amazing. Coke in Mexico tastes amazing. Coke in Mexico tastes amazing. Coke in Mexico tastes amazing. Coke in Mexico tastes amazing. Coke in Mexico tastes amazing. Coke in Mexico tastes amazing. Coke in Mexico tastes amazing. Coke in Mexico tastes amazing. Coke in Mexico tastes amazing. Coke in Mexico tastes amazing. Coke in Mexico tastes amazing. Coke in Mexico tastes amazing. Coke in Mexico tastes amazing. Coke in Mexico tastes amazing. Coke in Mexico tastes amazing.
Speaker: the the the
Speaker: Literally go in the mornings when she has a day off. I'll go and pick up a like four tortas Six tacos and then a quarter kilo Of course you need to take it home and just you're eating tacos at six o 'clock in the morning and you're worried about It's a breakfast kind of taco Tacos for breakfast lunch and dinner if you do it long enough in Mexico. I
Speaker: the the the the
Speaker: Different sweet coke in the states of coke in Mexico are two totally different things the only place that sells pop right with corn syrup in Mexico is Carl's jr. And We went to Carl's jr. Like a month ago because Carl's jr. Is stupid expensive and
Speaker: And we went and my my wife's like, oh, give me a Coke while you're over at the at the they got one of those fountain things that you fill your own pops. And she's like, give me a Coke while you're over there. I got her a Coke and she brought it. She tasted and she's like, what the fuck is this? She wasn't ready for the corn syrup taste. Yeah, she almost should. She was drinking stuff.
Speaker: Speed of drinking stuff. There's nothing better than when you've had enough beers to drink that you're pissed or just smell like Budweiser Yeah, I've never been that drunk I don't drink that much I like Yeah, I know trust me. I know it says Friday four beers last week. Yeah Friday Friday I say you that picture
Speaker: Sent you that picture the other day that my wife's mom was here plus her her brother and sister plus my kids and I'm here by myself and I'm the only walking once Grubbing everything while they're staring at the TV like it's Zeus and I was getting pissed when I went to the store to get cigarettes. I picked up beer Day two
Speaker: Yeah, well, two things, two things on that. I don't know if it was, I don't know if it was when Rocky was on here, if it was the Wednesday before Rocky was on here and he was drinking, you're like, oh, fuck it, boys. And I was like, what the fuck you got me a drink? I had a good eight that night.
Speaker: did you start that you started backtracking trying to save yourself but um when you see it when you say that i was really nice and tips it's noon and no yeah you were like yeah no you backtracked a lot
Speaker: the the
Speaker: three or four of the five years that my ex -wife and I lived in our house there in Charleston. I would wake up in the morning and before I even went upstairs, I had at least three beers in me. Like I would wake up. Some people wake up. The difference is you're a functioning alcoholic and I'm not. Probably not a good thing. I'm not bragging about it. This is also very true. I don't know about bragging about it. It's probably not a good thing. But I would wake up and go,
Speaker: the
Speaker: contemplate life and drink my beer and But I would get another one and bring that and then I then I would come upstairs with the third one in there was like, oh you're awake and I'm like We drink my beer and walk over walk over to our little liquor shop
Speaker: I put it a coffee cup. All right. I know. I would drink an Irish coffee. I'd give me some coffee and throw it in there and I finished my beer while I was making my coffee and then I'd take my coffee. That's, that's what's funny is like, uh, my wife's family are all Mormon.
Speaker: And I'd grab the Jameson and they're like, what are you doing?
Speaker: which means, you know, no cigarettes, no, no alcohol, no coffee, no tea and all that stuff. Well, every morning I wake up, come downstairs, I have a cigarette, make my coffee and then start my day. And then, so
Speaker: That that day a I came downstairs had a cigarette made my coffee and then at noon started drinking Well looks like one year Everybody was down there my And don't get me wrong like I like my in -laws. I
Speaker: Oh, I don't mind my in -laws, but it's like after a while, it's like in general, if anybody's in my house for too long, I'm like, oh, go away. I'm like that with my kids. Yeah. I can't, I can't remember if it was, if it was Christmas or, or what it was, but, um, they weren't, everybody was down there and, and, and, uh, they forced me to come out of the garage and I came out of the garage.
Speaker: with a bottle of Jack Daniels honey and a gallon jug of sweet tea and a gallon jug of sweet tea and they were like I was sitting on the couch I think I was watching football or something and they were playing board games or something or whatever
Speaker: And they're like, and my ex mother -in -law, my wife's mom, her wife, she was cool and I was like, she's the best. I love her to death. But my ex mother -in -law, she could work my nerves from time to time. I love her. She just worked my nerves from time to time. Oh, I'm like that with anybody.
Speaker: And then I sat there on the couch and I think I was watching football or something. They were doing whatever they were doing. And I, I drank that, that bottle of Jack Daniels with my sweet team. And, uh, and my, uh, mother -in -law, her, her wife, my other mother -in -law, she was like, you got any, uh, you, you, uh, you need to drink. I was like, uh, I'm out of jerk Daniels. I was like, I'm out of jerk Daniels. And she was like, you drank that whole bottle. I was like, yeah. And I think I got another bottle.
Speaker: the the
Speaker: Meanwhile still being fully functional My wife stepped and he gets bored at functions so he sits in the car turns on the radio and lays back and
Speaker: And at the party the other day, they get ready to leave his battery stand. And he's like, can you guys help me push the car or start it? And I was like, well, maybe if you didn't sit in the car for six hours with a radio on the fucking battery one time. But we're pushed starting this fucking it's a Nissan Center like it's the old body style, but it's it's
Speaker: It's a new like Mexico got the rights to build that body style and they use them for cabs down here And so her push starting this fucking thing and after like we pushed farted push started It wouldn't start wouldn't start you and so we had to back Yeah, we push farted it it wouldn't start so we had to back it up and do it again and the next time I was like just once you
Speaker: Just dump the clutch. Don't let off. Don't push the clutch back in, and we'll just keep pushing, because I can smell the gas coming out of the exhaust. I said, it's got plenty of gas. Don't do nothing. Just dump the clutch once I tell you. And I got me pushing right behind the exhaust, because I knew it was going to happen. I knew it was going to happen. And the kids are all pushing next to me, and we're pushing it. He dumps the clutch.
Speaker: and I can feel it getting ready to go and all of a sudden it backfires. It's had to be like a quarter or like a little over half a foot flame coming out of the pipe and the kids all were like, what the fuck? And I'm just keeping pushing because I'm like, I'm not pushing this fucker again. So I kept pushing it, finally got it started. But it had to shoot a good six to eight inch flame.
Speaker: I had a buddy of mine back in the day who I think he had a Ford probe standard. And every time he shifted, that bitch would backfire and shoot a flame out the fucking tailpipe. And I told him, we was all hanging out one night. This has been years ago. We was all hanging out one night.
Speaker: uh we used to uh here in north we used to you know when we was younger the cool thing to do was like cruise them all you'd make your last oh yeah we all used to go hang out at at sound gate which is where b dubs and yeah uh giant eagle or whatever the fucking grocery store and a bunch of little shops we all parked down there fourth avenue
Speaker: Park Ave. That's Park Avenue. Much like in Mount Vernon, everybody used to do the square in Mount Vernon. And you may have never gone to the square, but I know, I think Sarge has been down there and a couple other guys we went to school with from your school, because we started hanging out together, going down the square. Bob and Bing and I, we used to cruise in the Bronco. I think it was Vince. It might have been Brad.
Speaker: But we were all hanging out when I, and I, and I told my buddy, I said, Hey, go through, like go through, go through this crowd. It was a bunch of fast and furious douche bags. And I was like, go through that crowd and yeah. And, and, and, and shift. So you backfire.
Speaker: and like everybody in our group, we all and our friends and stuff that we used to hang out with. I was like, watch. This is going to be hilarious. And he goes through their crew like he goes through this group of people and he shit. Pop. Pop. And a fucking hero. Them motherfuckers scattered. And we was all hanging out laughing. Of course, my big.
Speaker: I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker: Well, after high school, I bought a 86 S10. I put a 93 front end on it, which is exact same front end, just a cooler grill. And I put, it had dual exhaust and I put a, um, 327 Corvette motor in it. And in the exhaust tips, I put spark plugs. How did you, how did you get, how did you get a 327?
Speaker: is that because I because I had a really small that put a 350 in an S10 I had a friend of mine well most people with 350 friend of mine put a 350 into his S10 it did not fit the 350 so what he had what he did was take uh log chains yeah what he did I think it was a 350 it was a it was a it was a v it was a big v8 big block it did not fit no it's a small block so he took
Speaker: the the
Speaker: Yeah. Well, he like I said, he horseshoot the shit out of it, as you said. But then he took these thick ass fucking wall chains. Right. And he wrapped it on underneath like he went underneath the engine and then well to make mention. Yeah, to make engine or whatever. Yeah.
Speaker: Well, no, he, he, he did that to support it, like underneath, like, like, uh, you got to think the S 10 frame was not never meant to hold a big, uh, 400. Well, like the four was stupid. Four 27 and up is a big block. So 400 small block would fit, but just barely a 350 to fit easily. Don't bring it. I had a three 27, three 27.
Speaker: They're a dime a dozen and not as powerful as a 350 but fits really easily in an s10 And we'll bolt right up to the original s10 transmission. So you don't have to do shit but I Put spark plugs a wired mop to a button and you can rev it up You rev three times on the third time you hit that button and you'll get a foot and a half long flame coming out of each exhaust tip
Speaker: It scared the shit out of everybody. Nice. That truck was quick. Yeah. Well, I was going to say, you want to you want to talk about a you want to talk about a fucking car that would do a wheelie like Vin Diesel's car in Fast and Furious. That fucking S10 with that big block in it would stand up. Oh, boy.
Speaker: Yeah Well it if you set up the suspension right you can make anything do a lift But a big block if he put a big block in he's looking at a minimum of 350 horsepower and
Speaker: the the the
Speaker: There was it was it was just funny because he put it in that truck and he only did it because He only did it because everybody told him we couldn't do it. Yeah. Well, he was a main reason why most people does most always Yeah, he was always building the most ridiculous shit. Oh, yeah, that's that's happening knowing what you're doing is building stuff that people think it can't be done That's why that's why what I want to do
Speaker: That's why I want to do a beetle with a YZFR1 motor. Because you're talking 200 horsepower, so it weighs as much as a go -kart. The fact that I'm going on 40 in a couple months, I've accomplished enough to put people in their place. I don't need to build, I don't need to put a Chevy big block into an S10 to prove myself.
Speaker: see that's the difference is I can't I can't fight for shit, but I can I can I can build something
Speaker: Last night last night my wife my wife fell asleep last night and I knew she was getting ready to go to bed and She asked me to hand her something and she's clear on the other side of the bed
Speaker: No, she's like, hand me that. So I went to lean across and I knew I had to fart. I knew I had to fart. And I was like, you know, if I hand her this, I can make it out to the balcony and let this rip. I knew it was going to be big.
Speaker: the the
Speaker: the the the
Speaker: Summer and I've said it before man. She she will she will snuggle all up against me
Speaker: Yeah, keep playing. Keep playing dangerous games. My wife hates it when we fart.
Speaker: So the other day somebody farted and and if everybody's trying to blame it on me and my wife's like No, it doesn't smell like Jeff's brand. I was like my brand like I'm Budweiser over here or something. She's like no you have a specific smell when you fart. I'm like, okay
Speaker: Yeah. Well, I mean, well, that's the difference between, uh, you and your wife and, and, and like, uh, like farts or farts or farts, you know, it's their, their, they are what they are. They're funny. We all laugh at them. We all have fun. Summer farts, the kids fart, I fart, but like I'm going to have to, like I said, I'm going to have to send you one of my, one of my morning ones, much like my brothers. I think I will live without it.
Speaker: No, no, no. You're gonna get it. I'll get a message in the morning. It won't say anything. What the fuck, dude? 20 minutes later, I'm like, did you hear that? That's a good one. I'll be like, hey, Jeff. Good morning, buddy. As the days go by, go to Surrey.
Speaker: Oh shit, that's terrible. This is literally, this is not a joke, people. This is literally the conversations Chris and I have throughout the day. Stupid shit. The one day you sent me an audio, because we sent audios back and forth. It's very rare that we text. Because Jeff and I will not talk to each other on the phone. We will not video chat each other, and we will not text each other.
Speaker: audio text each other like almost like a like a CB radio kind of thing you literally sent me one audio and it's just you're like so I'm gonna be getting off to work here and I just hear what the fuck you playing with a water hose we'll go take it a piss
Speaker: Well, the funny thing is a lot of times when we're we'll be having a conversation and we'll stop
Speaker: I'm like, okay, I'm gonna go take shit and then and I take my phone I'm searching the internet going on Facebook, whatever and all of a sudden I get a message from Chris. I'm like Fuck it. I'll answer him. I'm like, so yeah, I'm kind of busy right now. I'm taking a shit Yeah But
Speaker: well my wife I told my wife I said she came home today and I said she goes wow the house is really clean I said yeah I'm over cleaning while fat ass is over there at the fucking fair eating good food and she's like I said yeah motherfuckers eating fries I told him to get a
Speaker: I feel like I feel like I feel like I could figure out how to make a funnel cake or a funnel cake
Speaker: you can, it's, there's, it's, it's like a cup of flour, a teaspoon of baking soda and all this, some little bit of milk and all this stuff, you mix together and pour it in. And I mix it in the blender, and then just scatter it onto a
Speaker: crazy hot oil and the first time I made him, she's like, these are fucking amazing. I was like, yeah. Yeah. One of these days I'll take you to Belville street fair. You'll shit yourself. This is just amazing. Yeah. The fair food, man. That's what, that's, that's one thing. That's one of the few things that I missed about Ohio when I looked down in South Carolina, because they don't have fairs down in South Carolina. Like they do up here. You know what I mean? Like every, every county,
Speaker: You can literally go one week, you go to the Belleville Street Fair, then you have a week off, and then you get the Frederictown Tomato Show, and then a week later,
Speaker: Uh, you'll have Knox County fair and a week later, you got another, you got a Butler old town days or old, old days or something like whatever it's called. And it was for like two months straight. It's fair week off fair. Well, yeah. And that's the thing. And those two weeks, those two months, you just gained 400 pounds.
Speaker: Yeah. Well, like every, every county has a fair here in Ohio. And then you have all your street fairs and carnival stuff like that. And down in South Carolina, they had the, the South Carolina state fair, but that's about it. I don't, I don't know how anybody could afford to go there because fucking tickets were like a hundred dollars a goddamn person. Jesus.
Speaker: Well, you know, it says they have the one fair all year. Well, like every county, well, yeah. And again, like every county has a county fair. Every that reminds me, have you seen that movie butter? No, I don't think so. With Jennifer Garner, Hugh Jackman, uh, like the dad from modern family.
Speaker: Um, Oh my God. It's so fucking funny. It's about butter carving for, for the state fair. So fucked up. Yeah. Like I said, I think I've heard of it, but, but yeah, I mean, and then, and then you have the Ohio state fair up here and shit like that. So, you know, like that was one thing that I missed out of the South Carolina was like, man, I can't get no fair food. I can't, I can't get anything fairs were just, Oh,
Speaker: I used to love going to Ferris because just like going to Cedar Point or whatever, you walk in the, I would go, you know, chill with my parents and be like, okay, be back here at X time. Yeah. And which is meet some chick or so hang out with some buddies and you're done for the full day. Yeah. Which is, which is weird because
Speaker: like I remember when I was a kid going to the like the Knox County the Knox County Fair or the Croydon Fair or the Johnstown Fireman's Festival or this and the other thing. Yeah. Yeah. We just go there and our parents were like, alright, go do your thing and you know, you know, we're going to meet here at X time but you know, like like today we were at the fair and and Cash and I were getting his food and
Speaker: The girls were like, oh, we want this. And I was like, okay. Well, then the whole time I'm like, I'm watching for you. Like I'm watching for him. Yeah. Yeah. I gave him money and I was watching for him. So weird because our parents were just like, all right, well, we'll see. Well, yeah. Cause I remember like the, the bellwell street fair, it was literally three blocks from the school.
Speaker: So we'd get out of school and go right there, wouldn't go home. We'd go straight to the fair. And then Friday, Friday, as they'd let out at noon, the fair would start early. And I think that whole week every year, I would see my parents before I went to bed. Yeah. And that's how it was like for the Knox, the Knox County fair. Uh, you know, once I started driving, I, you know, if I wasn't working,
Speaker: I would, I would tell my parents I'm going to the fair after after work or after, well, we wasn't in school, but it'd be like after work, I'm going to the fair and like, okay, well, we'll see you when you see you. Yeah. I mean, or like the fireman's festival, um, shit. And when I, again, when I was driving the fireman's festival in Johnston, which is a little town where my family's from, I'd be like, no, I'm not, I'm going to the fair. I'm going to the fireman's festival after work or,
Speaker: or, you know, whatever. And they're like, Oh, they will see you tomorrow. Then I guess, you know, they just didn't, didn't give any thought about it now. Yeah. Like now I won't even rule up. I personally won't even let my kids go across the street. I'm like, where are you? So weird. I've tried to give my kids a little bit more independence and stuff like that. Well, yeah. The differences I am in Mexico. Well, you know, there's that too.
Speaker: But I mean, it's a thing like it's a thing like, you know, weirdos are just out there and they're just like being fucking weirdos were back in the day, which is funny back when I was growing up with. Yeah, back in the day, you know, we didn't have social media and this and the other thing and them fuckers stayed stayed hidden. Plus the fact that it's like some weirdo approached me when I was at the fair and was like, I got I got a beer in the in the van. You want someone like, no, you're going to try to touch my wiener.
Speaker: Well that yeah, I think differences like back then if I approached us to do something fucked up They that guy would actually get his ass kicked by us And all our friends where where nowadays our kids are gonna say or let's go Yeah, oh yeah, that's exactly what I was gonna say where some weirdo would be like, hey, I got free beer in the bay and come with me like Alright, hey boys, he's got free beer. I would kick his ass to take his beer
Speaker: there's no beer in here. Let's kick the shit out of this asshole. What's a beer, you fucking weirdo? Well, nowadays, it's like, hey, kids, I got free Wi -Fi. What's your password? My password is I'm about to touch your butthole. How do you smell that? How do you smell it? Is that what you want to be or two?
Speaker: the fifth
Speaker: not seeing my parents until midnight every night. And I'd run into because my parents would literally, if I needed anything during the street fair, I knew where my parents were going to be because they would be my mom would watch the square dancing. And my pops would go watch whatever concert was playing, which is usually some oldies or country music stuff. And as kids, I'd be off with my friends just
Speaker: you know, sugar we could find. Yeah, man. Yeah, absolutely. That was, that was like the cool thing. Like, like I said, we go to the Knox County fair there in Mount Vernon. And, you know, I just hung out with my friends all the time, man. We just ran around actually like lunatics and had fun. And then at the end of the night, you know, we either meet at the car or, you know, whatever. But,
Speaker: And like I said, I, you know, I'm trying to get my kids more and more freedom. My, my daughter went up to the fair with a couple of her friends. And then of course, and that's the other thing like that I noticed with my daughters. Um, they get on Snapchat and be like, who's going to the fair today? And he was like, really? Because back when I was a kid, you just knew everybody was going to be there. Yeah. Like, you just knew everybody was going to be there and you were going to go up there one time. Cause he wasn't knows anything else to do.
Speaker: Yeah, within within 15 minutes, you're going to run into six of your friends and you're going to have a whole fucking posse and you're going to just fucking run around and do whatever the hell you want while you're there. You know, let's go to the fair today. But as I said, I mean, I'll stab a motherfucker, get on Gravitron. I love that ride. Yeah, the Gravitron was shit back in the day, man. Well, they always get it.
Speaker: They were always playing crazy rock and roll music as loud as possible. And the whole thing was everybody would always try to sit up. I don't, I don't know who, this is one of the comments. Oh, from Twitch. Wow. There's a comment from Twitch. There it is. Uh, told me.
Speaker: Random Rick said, uh, the fair equals demolition therapies, lemon shakeups, and funnel cakes. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. There it is. I told you we had Twitch fans. Well, I gotta, well tomorrow I'll, uh, I'll get on the ball and, and set up Twitch, I guess.
Speaker: Are you fucking eating? Jesus Christ, you fat ass, you've been eaten. The problem is my wife left food here on the bed right here in front of me and I'm like, I mean, meanwhile, your wife is like, is like a half an inch away from your face. I know. I gotta, I gotta, I gotta learn to go like this. I guess I could shut up and let you do your ASMR over there. Yeah, there you go. Everybody, we're going to eat chicharron.
Speaker: Chicharon is a weird thing. It's a weird concept. It comes really small. I don't know how well you can see that. Let me just hold it up here. But you actually fry it in oil and it expands. And it's actually concept. There's no more. I mean, there's probably one other sound that's more beautiful than a freshly cracked ice cold Budweiser.
Speaker: And what is that? Oh, you know. We'll just say the future of Mrs. Glick enjoying herself with the one and only Glick. What's that line from? That's like that line from Christine.
Speaker: The movie, Christine, about the killer car. It's like there's only one. There's nothing better than the smell of a brand new car, except for me, pussy. I fucking love it. I go too far. Well, speaking of that movie, Christine, the main not the main character, but the main character's best friend, I just realized that dude's in Top Gun.
Speaker: He plays, I was watching Top Gun last night. Yeah. Cause it's on Netflix. And in the movie Christine, the main character of the guy is Christine. He is, he plays. This is the part where you go into a super long story that could be three seconds. No, it will be three seconds if you'll shut up.
Speaker: In the beginning of the movie, when Maverick goes up against the MIG, which is the whole thing, why he becomes the one or whatever, Merlin is the guy that he kind of freaks out and Ice Man eventually says, you shouldn't ever leave your wing man, blah, blah, blah. Merlin is the guy from the movie Christine. He actually quits, which is what gets Goose and Maverick into Top Gun.
Speaker: He's like, not Merlin, what's his name? Shit, I'd have to look it up. I'm trying to look up the movie, Christine. Look up the movie, Christine. I didn't. And then that didn't get me anywhere. So I'm looking. I am. But Merlin. Yeah, that's who I thought it was. Not Merlin. It's not Merlin. Now, it's not Merlin. It's I can't remember the character's name. He's only in it for that very beginning of the movie. And then he quits.
Speaker: It's not Marlon. What's his name? I'm going to put it on. Ooh. Wow. So Kelly McKenna's did not age. Well, who's that? Yeah, I know. Right. Yeah. The chick who played the, um, yeah. She did not. She was gorgeous. I can't remember, but if you, if you look up Christine, the movie Christine on IMDB,
Speaker: and you put in—it's not Arnie, it's the other guy. Arnie's the guy that actually buys Christine. Arnie's the guy that actually buys Christine.
Speaker: Rick, there is no such thing as too far on nonsensical nonsense. Jeff and I are habitual line crossers, habitual, going too far. That's going to drive me nuts. I'm going to put on Top Gun and see if I can figure it out. Jesus Christ. I'm already on Netflix.
Speaker: all about being a fan. Oh yeah. Well, you don't, you don't ever call yourself a fan of nonsensical nonsense. Don't put yourself, don't put yourself in that terrible category. Yeah. That's a good way to lose a job. The only person, the only person who claims that is Mark. Yeah. Damn it.
Speaker: When you, when you, uh, when you say, when, when you start talking about top gun, the only, the only thing that, that goes through my mind. When you say that, then this is Jesus, man. You had to bring that up, man. Why'd you have to bring that up? Oh, my wife had never saw it. We're watching it. She's like, she's like, wait, he dies. And I was like, yeah.
Speaker: And I explained how he died. Oh, she's like, Oh, that's so sad. How you crossed the line, Rick. Good movie, but still you cross a lot. He said, he said, Merlin. It's Merlin. Tim Robbins. No, that's that's. This is what goes through my mind when you say top.
Speaker: The character's name is Cougar. The character's name is Cougar. Yeah, he's the same guy. He plays Arnie's best friend in
Speaker: Christine. I didn't realize that until last night. And I was like, I'll be damn talking about an all -star cast. Not that Christine became a star, but, but well, I mean, so many people that are in top gun for the longest time. I didn't realize that Merlin was Tim Robbins.
Speaker: Until, like, I didn't know who the fuck Tim Robbins was until Shawshank Redemption. Well, the guy who played Jester was Nancy's dad and Freddy Krueger. Yeah, well, he's also in Total Recall and Stormship Troopers, Starship Troopers.
Speaker: He plays he plays the I love that movie the bug movie. I love that movie It was Sarge killed the bug Sarge killed the bug
Speaker: That's funny as fuck. He's hanging out vibing with us, man. That's what's up. No, we had a we had a we had a it was a meme and it was it was like what you expect when you start working at Oregon and then reality and it was like
Speaker: And it was like, you know, like what you expect a stormtrooper is what you get is, is a John Goodman in arachnophobia. It was like what you expect when you start working and working. And it was like a picture from the, from the commercials that they show on TV.
Speaker: the the
Speaker: She was posted like that. She was on our on our wall. I may or may not have printed off. I I kid you not Starship Troopers amazing movie Starship Troopers two and three horrible Yeah, Starship Troopers was was pretty cool movie. It was awesome. It was a fun movie Well, it's had a huge cast
Speaker: But, uh, what, uh, James Van Der Beek in that, whatever happened to that guy? No, no, not James Van Der Beek wasn't in it. It's, uh, uh, William, uh, Neil Patrick Harris is in it. No, he's not. Neil Patrick Harris is in Stormtroopers. Hold on a second. He plays the main character's best friend and he becomes a general.
Speaker: Okay, well I'm not disagreeing with you. Oh no, it's not James Van Der Beek, it's Casper Van Dean. Which is basically the same person. Denise Richards plays... I love Jake Busey. I love Jake Busey. I will watch him. Yeah, there's a ton of people in that movie. Jake Busey and his dad are fucking lunatics, man. Oh, they're nuts.
Speaker: They're complete nutbags. Okay, I was James Van Der Beek and Casper Van Deen are basically the same person. Yeah, well, Casper Van Deen is when you order James Van Der Beek off of Wish. The redhead, Rick said the redhead was hot. She was gorgeous, dude. She was gorgeous.
Speaker: And you get to see your topless twice. There's a shower scene. The funny thing I found the funny, the funniest thing about that movie is, is the co -ed showers. It's like, wait, what? And nobody's, nobody's going to mention it. Everybody's just going to shower naked together. Okay. Storm ship troopers. Uh, are you talking about Dana Meyers? Yep.
Speaker: She's the redhead. She became she became the main character's girlfriend. Rico's rocks. She was a she's been in. She's another one of those actors, actors slash actresses that's been in every country. Yeah. You watch any movie, she's in it. Yeah. I mean, as far as redheads go, she's never even McIntyre, but I mean, she's Eric.
Speaker: the the the
Speaker: chick, she starts going out and Christian and she has dates the Christian's best friend and then she had dates Christian's best friend's son. She's in Stormship Troopers 3. And oh my god, I watched. Well, I watched it because she was in it. And I was like, maybe we'll see her topless and you do.
Speaker: But starship super 3 was so bad It literally looks like a play because it all takes place in one single location It's like an abandoned base Again I Watch like see her topless much like the Sandlot. I didn't know there was a
Speaker: movies after the original. And the second one is actually really good. The Sandlot 2 is actually kind of cute. But the third one is I can't get I I've gotten 10 minutes into it. I can't I can't watch it. It's terrible. Yeah, I don't know. Even though Luke Perry's in it. Rick said he thinks three was better than two, but that is not saying much. You talk about storm ship troopers.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. They're really bad. They're so bad. Yeah. I didn't know there was two and three. I'm excited that I'm going to watch. I'm excited. The fact that I think I'm going to watch sling blade tomorrow. I think I'm going to watch it tomorrow as well. I don't know if I'll get to it tonight because it's getting kind of late, but what's up. Jacked up on Mountain Dew. I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew.
Speaker: If you ain't first, you're last. We got another, no, got another, uh, Twitch commoner. See, there you go. I told you we got fans, dude. And you know what? It's the funny thing is, dude, they're probably drunker than I am or high as fuck. And they're on Twitch and they're like, yeah, that's probably what it is. Well,
Speaker: The funny thing is, Twitch doesn't save the videos, which drives me nuts. Right? Right? Dude, I love Sling Blade, and I drive my fiancé crazy, and I don't do impersonations, but I drive my fiancé crazy when I do the mmm. French frat tighter, some mustard mmm. I'm going for a walk.
Speaker: I reckon if I get some mustard on your pussy, mmm. Of course. Oh, hey, I got a question for you. I got a very serious, important question. When you're making a sandwich, like a ham sandwich, what goes on with said sandwich? Okay. A lunch meat sandwich. Well, I'm a roast beef guy. I'm a roast beef guy. Okay, so roast beef sandwich.
Speaker: If I'm making a roast beef sandwich, I got my roast beef. I got Colby Jack and or Swiss cheese. Okay. I'll put green pepper, red pepper, yellow pepper. Right. Cucumber, tomato.
Speaker: and honey mustard. Jesus. Jesus. You go all out now. Boy. I'm a goddamn. I'm a goddamn look. I'm a, I'm a fucking sandwich. I'm a sandwiches. Well, my, my step, my brother -in -law, I was telling you about, I bought those, my wife bought those, that three hams
Speaker: from Costco motherfucking love that shit. He's making him a sandwich and he pulled out the fucking ketchup and I almost smacked him across the face. No, don't fuck him. Don't fuck ketchup. Don't ever put ketchup on a sandwich. On a burger? Okay. Hot dog? Maybe. But on a sandwich? No. Get the fuck out of my house. I'm not a big ketchup guy in general. I'm not either. Maybe on my fries.
Speaker: I missed something. Rick said I'm not a woman, I don't make sandwiches. Have you seen that TikTok video of Anthony Mackie? He's talking about make daddy a sandwich. I'm like, you know what? I'm I seriously thought, I mean, until he explains it.
Speaker: I was like, that dude's gonna get fucking crucified. And then he's like, look, if some guy comes up to you, start talking shit, what do you want me to do? You want me to sit up to dude. So when daddy asked for a sandwich, you make daddy a sandwich. And I'm like, you know what, I'm with you now. But if he would have just like, if he asked for a sandwich, you make daddy a sandwich, period.
Speaker: If he would have just left of that, he would have gotten crucified. Well, and I say this as far as sandwiches go or subs go or whatever, I say this as a guy who used to work in a deli in a college town and he's in a rich college town and the kids would bring their parents
Speaker: to have me make a a sandwich for him. I'm like, I don't play. I don't play when I make my sandwiches and I and I don't eat ham. I don't like ham and I don't eat. I love it. But you know, turkey or roast beef. I mean, I mean, I don't **** around. I'll put Subway, Jimmy John's, Quiznos, any any of these sub places.
Speaker: shit. One of these days, if I have the money, I'll open up a deli and I'll, I'll start making sandwiches all day or a day because I don't play, man. So, you know, I have my personal preference, but I also know everybody else has their personal preference. Now, what is your stance on mayonnaise though?
Speaker: I'm not a big mayonnaise guy. I put mayonnaise on fucking everything, dude. Yeah, that's because you're fucking white. Yeah. Well, there's a TikTok video I did that somebody's like, tell me you're white without telling me, without saying you're white. I pulled out the mayonnaise. I'm like, this jar's empty. I'm not a big mayonnaise guy, but you know. I love some good mayonnaise. But I put mayonnaise, mustard,
Speaker: The ham itself, I put at least two different kinds of cheeses on there. I do like a Monterey Jack and craft singles because I love craft singles. And then I do some lettuce, some tomatoes. I love craft single, dude. The thing is, you know, I'm not hurting for money. I just buy more craft.
Speaker: That's all. I just bought more than I should, because it's awesome. It's the ultimate American cheese, because it's fake in process, just like America. Tell me I'm lying. God damn America! Look here! Have you heard that Ray Demos, Jr.?
Speaker: America. It's actually a country singer. He does like an alter ego. He has his own album and shit. Oh my God. He does that song, America.
Speaker: That shit cracks me up. I play that song when my wife starts pissing me off. I'll say something shitty about Mexico, she'll give me shit about it, and I'll put that song on America. Yeah, but I mean, you're really not in the position to say anything bad about Mexico. You've been down there forever, 20 years. Exactly. Well, it's usually shit that pisses me off.
Speaker: That I bitch about Team America world police I play that one too. I have that on my Spotify. She's like turn that shit off I'm like, no, this is awesome. This is America
Speaker: After I found out Ray Dibblets Jr., I walked around the house like four days ago. She's like, I was like, yee!
Speaker: the the the the
Speaker: I'm just going to Sharpie and write it on myself. Yee yee, as I dab naked. Put a cowboy hat on. You're going to put in your profile the former killer of nonsensical nonsense. Everybody will go, who? It's funny if you had to listen to it.
Speaker: I'm gonna get the tattoo on my arm or someone I dare receive!
Speaker: the the the the
Speaker: shit like that cracks me up to no end i laughed so hard when i first saw that that he does the america song america fuck yeah back to back war champs he says
Speaker: reason number one thousand three hundred seventy -five white drinks. Jeff. One of those beers has my name on it somewhere. Yeah, there's a stack of them in front of you. They're all empty.
Speaker: Oh shit. Why are you such an alcoholic? Have you met my podcast? Have you met my co -host on the podcast? Jesus Christ. You dreak too. Let him talk about carbs for five minutes. You'll drink a gallon. Give him five minutes and it takes three hours. He went to bed and he's still talking.
Speaker: Ah, Saturdays.
Speaker: It doesn't it doesn't it doesn't ring as well as Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. I know, right? I know. Not that I want to do the podcast on Sunday or anything. Well, I mean, you know, Mark, can you imagine Monday morning? Oh, sure. Mondays are Monday enough for me. I don't need any. Yeah, I know. Well, I mean, that's the fact that that's the fact that I mean, you you know that
Speaker: Sundays are are are like I created a podcast two of them I did a podcast so on the seventh day I rest
Speaker: I watch terrible movies all the time. What was it? What else did I watch? I watch major league one and two.
Speaker: uh field of dreams if you say major league is a terrible movie i will oh no those are the best movies ever i love i love what is what is that what is the what is the voodoo guy's name um serrano Pedro Serrano
Speaker: the the the the the
Speaker: as a son to you know i'd be nightly so there you go uh... all of a week we got a we got a year uh... all while okay well this is the type of guy that he is all i want to see what he says but it's it it it no he he said a word that starts with a hidden thing
Speaker: the the
Speaker: Says the person that can't can't be bothered to actually do a podcast or or go ahead and go online Unless it's a comment on shit because he has no life. Well Well says the person who is running his fucking cocksucker and Continuously gets all of his comments get blocked. Come on get out of your yeah, come on haps and get your mom get your ass out of your mommy's garage and
Speaker: And be a man. Come on, Haps. We have no problem. We'll bring you on. We'll see how tough you are. We'll eat you for lunch, please. Uh, Rick, we are on Haps. We are on Facebook. We are on YouTube. Haps is a relatively easy ish to use. You just got to jump on there and create a profile or create a, um, yes. Five minutes.
Speaker: Yeah, maybe. Yeah. Come on. Keyboard cowboy. Come on. Well, Rick is cool. Rick's been cool all night. No, no. I'm talking about keyboard cowboy over there talking shit. Yeah, Rick actually sounds like a pretty cool dude. Yeah, Rick. Rick, definitely check us out. Oh, yeah, that's a good way to get blocked. We cry like little babies and then said the N word two more times. And this sounds like some kind of retarded fucking
Speaker: Like a ten -year -old needs to get off his fucking phone Then he said it again. Yeah Apparently his mom and dad Apparently his mom and dad are brother and sister. Yeah, well your mom's your dad your dad your brother Yeah Yeah
Speaker: Please. I mean, we're we're born and raised in the 80s and 90s. You can't hurt us with words. You fit. You can't hurt us with fists. You might hurt. You might hurt. You might hurt that guy over there with fists. But yeah, good luck with that because because more than likely and Jeff knows better than anybody, the moment that you put hands on on Jeff, you got to deal with me.
Speaker: My first wife And I love the type of guy who wants to fight a bear in a kangaroo so a Little keyboard cowboy ain't gonna hurt us nothing shit
Speaker: I am open and willingly and the challenges put out there. Any of you bears and kangaroos who may watch this or listen to this podcast, I will fight to shit on it. If there's a bear or a kangaroo willingly watching this podcast, I want to meet that motherfucker. And as we learned,
Speaker: Yeah. Some kangaroos are swole as **** That's why I made it very clear. Jesus Christ. Like the that one I saw that one that looked like Schwarzenegger. Jesus Christ. That thing looked like it. I was spending six months in the gym. I I wish a **** I wish a **** soul would walk up on me. I hit him with a left cross and be like, what ****
Speaker: How to speak Australian. Every old Foster's commercial. It's your shark and a guppy. How to speak Australian and there's a click hidden in the camera with a lip. Wednesday night.
Speaker: the the the
Speaker: Wednesday. This is a normal Wednesday in Australia.
Speaker: He's like, he's down, click, he's down, stop it. Shoot him. The kangaroo? No, Chris, you dumbass. He's going to kill it. It's going to be a hate crime. Rock, he's holding the drank gun. He's like, who do I shoot? Who do I shoot? Just like, shoot, click.
Speaker: That's fucked up I Fucking who's watching that Turner and hooch and I looked up how much those dogs cost I Looked up the breed. I said what kind of breed of dog is that because it's not I thought it was a mastiff But it's not it's
Speaker: Can't pronounce the name of the breed, but they're the cheapest one you can buy is $1 ,400 I said for a dog and They go up to like 18 ,000 if you get a good bloodline and I'm like, that's crazy Yeah, those things are fucking massive, I mean when you get one of those dogs they come with a shovel and
Speaker: but I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,
Speaker: of a Tibetan Mastiff and a Pitbull and they made a Pitbull the size of a Tibetan Mastiff. Now that's what I want. Just a Pitbull the size of me. Well, I was gonna say look up the king horses. Yeah, those things are massive. I like the Napoleon Mastiff they got so much skin on it you could cut half of it off and make yourself a rug.
Speaker: Still have plenty of left for the dog Rick said he was he I do love dobies dobies are pretty dogs. Oh, yeah They're gorgeous And they're scary as fuck. There's nothing better than standing standing looking at somebody in a big mean fucking dog next to you Just a how the hell Not like Pussy
Speaker: I'm gonna get something to drink. As I almost dropped my lighter. Did we miss something? No, no, no, sorry, I'm... No, no, no, no, sorry, I'm... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker: what keyboard cowboy get kicked off her no no no no no no no parker has a has a hundred and three temperature oh fuck get that boy to the hospital that's what I said I said you know I want to take them to the ER or something that's not good um no I didn't take them to the ER okay um
Speaker: the the the the
Speaker: But yeah, so YouTube is actually YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, Haps, everything, all of our social media is
Speaker: nonsensical nonsense. Yeah, nonsensical nonsense. Uh you can check us out on all that. Uh we're also on Spotify, Google Play, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, whatever it is. Uh nonsensical nonsense anywhere you get podcasts and uh you can get all of our ridiculous episodes and I am working on a nonsensical nonsense uh twitch page. I was I was
Speaker: Yeah, right. I was actually working on that last night to be honest with you, but I was just having issues with it. I needed to do it. It's a pain in the ass to get it set up. Well, I've got it took me the longest time. Yeah, that's the problem. You have to set up one. Random random Rick is already got us on on YouTube. There you go. Well, make sure make sure you follow him back there. We'll do.
Speaker: What do you review? Because there's movies I'm totally in. Yeah, movies, music. Oh, I'm totally in. Yeah, we're in. We're whole we're we don't know shit about movies, but we watch them like crazy. Just don't spoil free guy. I'm watching it tomorrow.
Speaker: My neighbor's got one of wiener dogs This name's gentle Barbie that dog cracks me up
Speaker: the the
Speaker: that I'm not
Speaker: I will follow you tomorrow morning. Tomorrow morning, brother, I'm on it. We will follow you back. I'll follow you on KTM productions. It takes me a minute to switch over to non -site school, but I'll switch over.
Speaker: what is it takes me all of 10 seconds yeah well i gotta remember what do you mean you gotta remember well i have to do on the phone i can't do it on the tv dude i can do it oh hold on a second i can do it on the tv too but i have to actually set it up
Speaker: Oh, hold on. Hold on a second. I'm going to go on YouTube. Uh, YouTube. Um, nonsensical nonsense. Oh, let me, let me, uh, oh, where's my accounts? Oh, there they are. Let me go over to the Glitch. Oh, Jesus. Just like that. I'm on it. Oh, 30 seconds. I can't do it during the podcast. Well, I know you can't do it during the podcast, but you're like, I'll do it tomorrow.
Speaker: I'm gonna do it right now. I'm gonna do it right now. I don't know. I got this **** ass clown in here screwing up our comments. I want to fight this guy. Mr. IP two. I want to fight you.
Speaker: Yeah. I get first swing. Yeah, I'm about to. OK, random rec reviews. Random rec reviews. There you go. I do want to fight. I do want to fight Mr. IP to. Yeah, as long as he follows this, I don't give a fuck. The standards are low.
Speaker: Oh, yeah. I found you, dude. Subscribe. There you go. There you go. Captain America Comics, 1980s Hot Wheels. Oh, yeah. Oh, I love these Hot Wheels. I can definitely. Got Hot Wheels, Marvel 9s, current top 10. Nice. Top 10, your current top 10 WWE superstars. That had to be a hard list to comprise. Yeah. Well, not that I would know shit about it,
Speaker: the the the
Speaker: I'm done friend you just for that I Have a total potter head man. I love that shit Mr. IBM to Is 10 years old he lives in his mom and dad's basement Thinks he's Billy badass
Speaker: Let me guess, he has no social media except for following people and commenting bullshit. I don't know. Let's see. What's up? Let's give him a look. See you now. Yeah, because nobody wants to beat up a 10 year old. I'll put some of your fucking face. You and me both minds drive me nuts. Shit.
Speaker: I'm worried about a goddamn 10 -year -old. Oh, I can't even find him, because he's got himself a little fake account. Oh, and that cute pussy. I'm going to put that user in timeout. Fuck him. Go to timeout, you little bitch. Yeah. Let's see if I can fry chicken. Why do you guys stare at the wall?
Speaker: Because I'm frying chicken You want to take us to fried chicken we watched a we watched a panda bear That was before we went You can watch my awesome expression as it comes out That's why you're standing my back door and oh my god
Speaker: I'm holding as far away as possible. I could put it on the mirror so you'd look at my little dick. I can't see it, I'm squinting. I'm looking. Yeah, I was going to say, does your shit zoom in that deep? Oh, God. I've had to piss for like an hour. I can do it one handed.
Speaker: Smells like Coca -Cola. Just walk around my house. That's how I should do lives from now on. Just walk around my house like a Billy Badass. I'll tell everybody I'm a... What I call a guy? Keyboard cowboy.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm a keyboard cowboy social justice warrior I melt when it gets too hot cuz I'm a snowflake and I can I can Dish it out, but I can't take it You ever notice that I guarantee if we showed up that dude's house he'd shit himself Because he can dish it out, but he can't take it
Speaker: Well, I mean, he has no... Yeah, he's got a fake account so he can talk shit and nobody can do anything about it. So fuck him. Means he's got no balls. Take your balls out of your mommy's purse. Grow a sack and act like a man. We put our fucking full names out there. We don't give a fuck. You can find us on social media anywhere you want.
Speaker: Well, sit here in the dark. Why are you in the dark? Oh, I turn off light in the kitchen. So I come here and sit on my awesome bench. Let's set up my tripod properly. What am I doing? Let's set this fucker up right now.
Speaker: I'm trying to set up the tripod properly so I don't have to hold it like an ass. Like some keyboard cowboy thinks I'm a badass because I can talk shit on the fucking comments. It's like me on Twitter. He's got a new comment. He said, walk around mommy's house and you guys are in love with each other. And then he said the word four more times, five more times, six more times. We are in love with each other. Jeff was my first wife. That's right.
Speaker: I don't know about this. Well, I mean, Jeff lives in Mexico and his mom lives in Ohio. So that would be impressive. I kind of own my mom's house. That would be awesome. It would be. If I could walk from here to to my mom's house without losing internet, that would be that would actually be quite impressive. The great thing about four years old, I still live in my mommy's house. Yeah. OK. I think the great thing about this is
Speaker: I can just chop all this **** out. Yeah. **** him. Mr. Mr. IP2, you don't exist, bro. Yeah. Cuz you don't have any nuts cuz they're in your mommy's purse. Let me guess. You're 15 years old. You live in the basement. You smoke a **** ton of
Speaker: My clothes yeah, it's exactly It's not even good way. It's ditch weed that you got off your cousin's salad after he's He's like shit weed Well, I'll enjoy it well swallow
Speaker: Just don't make too much noise my mom will come down the stairs Yeah, anybody that talks shit like that and doesn't have the balls to say their real name or or Put their shit out there They're just pussies because
Speaker: What we do on this podcast, yes, we're stupid and we do dumb shit, but we have the balls to put it out there. Well, it's not even that, but I mean, it's not even any of that. It's just a simple fact that it's just a simple fact that he has no life that he has to come in and just shit on somebody else. Well, not even that, but your life, that's sad that you have to come in and shit on everybody else.
Speaker: you know, like you hurt you. You know, it's not even that. Like trolls are fun and and you know, they're fun to **** around with and joke around with and whatever but the dude has literally said the N word at least at least 70 times.
Speaker: which makes sense because we're both so black and that's almost not even that but that's all he's saying yeah he's trying to get us blocked thinking that him saying it will get us blocked which is kind of like duh yeah um hold on a second let me see here if i can uh oh this is not freaking working
Speaker: Yeah. Like there's, there's, there's no, there's like, if you're going to be a troll, you know, be a troll. Don't, don't, don't, don't be talking about what we're saying. Yeah. I mean, I want to come back. It's not a comeback. It's not even a comeback or anything. You're like the little kid that gets picked last in gym class. So you're pissing all over everybody else.
Speaker: Who hurt you? You're you're you're mad. You're mad because you're because your mom's boyfriend comes in and does things to you at night. Yeah, he doesn't like it. And yeah, because he doesn't cuddle afterwards. Well, you feel bad because you enjoy it and you don't. And then usually when he's done, he punches you in your mouth.
Speaker: And to get out of your mom's house cuz you're what 25 years old still living home Go ahead you can tell us who hurt you Now it's changed from the Edward you can't wait you can't wait you can't wait you can't wait. What are we trying to win? What are we trying to win honestly?
Speaker: what are we trying to win? I don't know. I don't know. I'm going to win. I'm going to win it. I'm going to win tomorrow at Black Ops. I'm going to win tomorrow when I'm **** my smoking hot wife. You're going to win the bar. What do you think? You're going to **** your smoking hot
Speaker: the the the the
Speaker: There's nothing nothing better than having sex with your wife. And the second second to that is coming in general. Just
Speaker: Well, I mean, I mean, in our case, this guy who's in here, he obviously can't attest to this, but I mean, just having sex with a real life woman in general is a win. Yeah, I mean, you have a good looking woman. I have a good looking woman. This guy's got a blow up doll in his basement with his picture of his mom on it. This guy has his mom's boyfriend. Yeah, well, that too.
Speaker: Do who comes in? And you're surprised. Yeah, you're surprised. He's like surprised. He pushes him in the jaw and then has his way with it. And then when he's done, he pushes him in the mouth again and then he leaves. And this guy's like, oh my God, you're going to love me. Show us on the doll where he touches you. Go ahead. It's OK. This is a safe space.
Speaker: Time to end the stream. Apparently the, uh, mommy's boyfriend is starting and these are our house. Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead. How does it feel to be prison rate?
Speaker: Yeah, I'm curious. Tell me. Yes, good. It's a safe space. Do you bite the pillow? Oh, he tried your teeth or did you bite a pillow? When you guys go out in public, do you have to hold his pocket? I've seen that movie. What movie is that? I see that fucking movie. It's a movie. It was a TV show or something.
Speaker: Oh fuck, I know what you're doing. Oh my god, that movie's so fucked up. This little wannabe.
Speaker: cowboy, keyboard, keyboard, cowboys in there. Rick said, oh, scare straight. Mr. IP2, why do you have to make more? Why do you have to make more accounts? You said I can make more accounts than, than you can make love to your wife. But why do you have to make more accounts?
Speaker: Because I mean, at the end of the day, if you have to make more accounts, that's just because you're a worthless piece of shit. And obviously, and obviously, you've been into other live streams or other areas. You know, people, we don't block you, we'll just sit here and we'll listen to you. And you can get your frustrations out.
Speaker: And we'll have great content because of it. We're going all four hours. Do I, do I edit this or do I just post it? No, I say leave it because, because literally with the 23 fans we have, no, but we got what? Over 150 fans on the Facebook page. Yeah, go ahead. They'll, they'll eat you for lunch.
Speaker: They'll eat you for lunch. Oh, man. If we if we. The Facebook people on this board. Oh, yeah. He wouldn't make it past lunch. Oh, he'd be a quick afternoon snack and call it a day. Mr. Mr. IP to give us a follow on on social media, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok. Oh, my goodness.
Speaker: I've got some asshole talking shit behind me. Give us a follow on the social media at nonsensical nonsense and talk your shit man. See what happens. Yeah. Facebook is for normies. Oh, Jesus Christ. Damn, that asshole talking shit behind me. He's got some thank his breath.
Speaker: does mommy's boyfriend make you toss his salad? Tell us. Do you use jelly or syrup? Because I prefer syrup. Please, please tell us. Let us know. Let's go ahead. Let's have a conversation with you. Who touched you? Where did they touch you? Show us on the door. I wish I could do a doctor.
Speaker: a free space. It's safe. You won't melt here snowflake. Yeah, literally trolls, trolls don't scare me at all. I mean, you can say whatever the fuck you want, whatever you've said, and whatever you think of saying, we've said it to ourselves a million times.
Speaker: Or we said it to each other. I mean, fuck, I dabbed on here, please. You don't scare me.
Speaker: He said he said you want anyone special who said we were special I mean we're special like special Yeah, who the fuck said we were special who who claimed to be special wasn't us Yeah, we'd never claimed to be special would never claim to be anything but us And whatever you think
Speaker: You can't hurt us. We just don't give a fuck. He said, he said, he said, your, your, your podcast has been derailed by me for how long? Trust me. Our podcast was derailed from the moment we started. We didn't need your help. We're 33 episodes in. We don't need you to help fuck us up. We do that on our own. We don't have a,
Speaker: rhyme nor reason to this podcast in the first place. This is just something to help us from not killing everyone because I truly think if we didn't have a place to vent out, kill people. I mean, yeah, this is, yeah, this is, this is a much better outlet than my previous outlet. Yeah.
Speaker: but yeah, it's hard to derail it. It's it's hard to derail. What? Something that didn't have rails in the first place. I'm actually going to get wheels on this motherfucker. Yeah, right. Yeah, Rick. What's it? Yeah, give us a deeper question. Rick is in here. Rick's still hanging out. I don't know why Rick's still hanging out. But he's here and I like Rick. I actually kind of dig Rick and. Yeah, Rick asked us a question.
Speaker: What was your favorite age growing up? What was your favorite age growing up, Jeff? I would have to say between 14 and 17. That's like the perfect time. You can pretty much do anything and get away with it. I mean, remember, you're talking about the late 90s, like us in high school. Jesus Christ. I mean, in all honesty,
Speaker: Yeah, honestly, I don't really know that I personally have a favorite age. I know 40 sucks. Jesus Christ. As I said earlier, I was riding the bikes with the kids because I bought my kid that bike for his birthday and I fucking, I'm goofing off and showing off because I'm like, I'm cool. I can still ride this and then I remembered that I'm not 15 anymore and I can't ride a bike like I used to.
Speaker: Not too much. I smoked way too many cigarettes. Well, yeah, there's definitely that. I don't. Yeah, I don't I don't really know that I have a favorite age, man, that I can remember just because. Just the shit we used to. I mean, well, you got to remember, I mean, if we had YouTube back when we were kids. We would make Jake Paul and them look like fucking beginners.
Speaker: some of the dumb shit we used to do. Yeah, right. I mean, well, um, I think back in the eighties and nineties, we would have been billionaires. Yeah, right. Well, yeah, I mean, not to get too deep or too crazy, but yeah, it's just, you know, I had a pretty fucked up upbringing. So, I mean, I don't really know that I have a,
Speaker: favorite age, man. It was all, it was all crazy and drama filled and nonsense. Yeah. I mean, I, I have time periods in my life that I enjoyed being with my friends and hanging out with my friends, but at the end of the day, most of my life, the worst, the worst fear I had or the worst dread I had was going home. Yeah. I've been there. So.
Speaker: You know, it is what it is. It's just, just because I never, I never had a fear of going home. Unless I did something fucked up that got me in trouble because nowadays you can't spank your kids like I used to get spanked. Jesus Christ. My dad broke a cutting board across my ass once. But yeah, like I said, you know, at the, at the end of the day, um,
Speaker: you know, maybe who I am, maybe the person I am. I don't, I don't look back on it and go, Oh my God, my life was so hard. And, uh, everybody feels sorry for me. Uh, everybody has, has their, um, demons, their demons are past their, their, their, their, uh, paths or so to say they go down and, you know, I am who I am.
Speaker: Well, yeah, I mean, your life experiences in general just kind of make you the person you are today. Good or bad. And it's not bad times. No, but the bad times make you stronger for if shit really goes down. Although our number one fan said childhood trauma, Andy.
Speaker: Okay. Um, no, I mean, you know, Jeff and I had two different, uh, uh, bringings, two different, uh, experiences. Uh, you know, Jeff's parents, your mom and dad have been married. What?
Speaker: 175 years. Yeah, something like that. Yeah, I've been married since the 70s. Yeah, my my my parents were married and they split up and got married again and they they were assholes to each other and you know, but at the same time,
Speaker: I grew up a lot differently than some people and it made me who I am. You know, Jeff. Yeah. Well, we talked about this before. I've never, I've never had the experience of, uh, step parents or step siblings or anything like that. And, and it, I don't want to say it, it's kinda, what's the word, what's, I don't know how to say it. It's like.
Speaker: It almost had a disadvantage for me to actually imagine something like that. I have no clue what it's like. Yeah. To, to have parents divorce or anything like that. Yeah. I mean, that's one of those things where you, you know, you're not a fighter. No, you don't fight. You've never been a fighter. Hell, I've known you for.
Speaker: way too long 25 years and yeah I can literally count on one hand how many times I've been in fights but but I'm also I'm also the funny guy too nobody wants to fight the funny guy because then you just feel like you feel like an asshole it's like George Carlin
Speaker: funny guy too, but I'll be a funny guy. I'm like, I'm like, uh, Ryan Reynolds. I'll be the funny guy and then I'll punch you in the mouth and be like, Oh my God, the funny guy just punched me in the mouth. Well, no, I'm the funny guy that, that, that makes you laugh while he walks off and grabs a bat. I'm that funny guy because I might not hit you with my fist, but, but I'll grab something to beat you with because I'm small. Nobody has to donate anything to us. That's just a haps thing. That's up there because it's, you don't have to. Yeah.
Speaker: You know I I am I I am the Fighter between the two of us. I guess you could say yeah And the the man whore between the two of us I'm I will totally Contest to me being a man whore I
Speaker: What did the fish say? Rick said, what did the fish say when they hit the wall? Thunk. Damn. Damn. Dad jokes. Yeah. That that goes right up with my Mike. Hey, Rick. Uh why doesn't Michael Jackson, why couldn't Michael Jackson play tennis?
Speaker: Yeah, I still say that's funny Yeah, you gotta let the question of simmer man, yeah bumfish You gotta let it simmer so I like the D's nuts we can wait
Speaker: Yeah, Kevin is his terrible timing. Sometimes you gotta let us know. Sometimes you're the fish, sometimes you're the dam. Touché. See, like that didn't need to simmer. That just needed to be said. Just needed to be said, yeah.
Speaker: What's that what's that sometimes you're Who was it said that is sometimes you're the bug sometimes you're the windshield Yeah, there's so many versions of that oh No, it was I was watching Sunday anarchy and in the first couple scenes that they you know the in Sunday anarchy that the biker Club has a They have a garage
Speaker: tow company and they tell on this BMW and there's a deer in the end through the windshield. He's like, what did he hit it or did he run into a tree while I was giving him head? And he says, well, sometimes you're the deer, sometimes you're the goddamn beamer.
Speaker: I was like, yeah, there you go. Nice. But that line of, that line of saying, what if you hit a tree, what he hit or he hit a tree was giving him it. Cause it's like front legs. Yeah. Front legs and most of the body inside the car, the rest of the body ass and the back legs out of the vehicle.
Speaker: Yeah, I gotta get to bed anyway, sir. We gotta lock this up. Plus my battery's already die. I'm down to like 10 % battery. What the fuck is going on in Walmart? I don't know. Oh, they put that man to sleep.
Speaker: I don't know. Uh, in one of our group chats, buddy, if I said a video, it was like this dude shoving his car into this other guy and then the, the Walmart employees tried to break it up and the guy broke free and, uh, the dude who knocked his ass out. Yeah. The dude who, the guy who got the cart pushed into him, like broke free and then put the other guy to sleep, man. And one. Nice.
Speaker: it was like no no yeah go ahead and close this out cuz my battery's gonna die I gotta get to bed well I mean you didn't really roast anybody um there mr. IP to yeah um you don't scare us yeah no there's real no L here to be taken yeah please at the end of the day um what I need you to do is uh
Speaker: We'll be back live Wednesday and we'll be back live Thursday. So, so work on your roast game and then we'll keep our pimp hands strong. Yeah. And then come back again and, and, you know, maybe, maybe, maybe like you might be able to roast us just a smidge.
Speaker: Yeah, but there was no worst thing done by you tonight. There was no worst thing here done. We just gave you way too much time than we should have just because, you know, we, you know, we're going on over four hours of just sitting around bullshitting and doing what we do and everybody that, you know,
Speaker: normally in here is done went to bed. You should be grateful and thankful that we give you the time of day. Yeah, not only did we give you the time of day, but also the fact that nobody else is in here watching us live. And yeah, because people would have destroyed you. You didn't feel the wrath. Yeah, so exactly. And the chatter spots will literally eat you alive, sir. So you go ahead and go brag to all your other little
Speaker: the the
Speaker: and and go exactly why you roll your silly little dungeon and dragons dice and and make up stories about making love to Bards and witches and whatever And Come back and try again
Speaker: Wednesday's the Saturdays. Wednesday's the Saturdays. So, and I know we're going to go ahead and wrap it up. I'm going to give some more calls. Yeah. Make sure Parker's okay because. Yeah, definitely. Tell him, tell him to get better. I said so. Yeah. Jeff said, get better. Jeff said, get better, you little, you little fucker.
Speaker: but um this has been a uh a super long Saturday Night Live or Saturday Night Live uh podcast. Thank you guys for hanging out. Much love if you're not already. Give us a follow on uh Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, the TikTok, the YouTube, and all that jazz and soon to come Twitch but uh check us out at Nonsense School Nonsense. Also, if you'd like to hear the
Speaker: If you'd like to hear all of our episodes of this dumpster fire that we call a podcast we're checking out on Spotify is Instagram Spotify Google Play Apple podcast and anywhere you get podcasts at non -sensical nonsense and if you want to Email us you can do so at nonsensical nonsense podcast at gmail .com and go ahead P boy, that was awesome. Send me an email
Speaker: send him an email. It'll be fun. Yeah, it'll be fun. It'll send him an email back of his butthole. I have no problem with that. But thank you guys for listening. Thank you guys for writing it out. We will see you guys Wednesday. Yep. For not such a long episode. I got to figure out how to do this episode. Wednesdays need to be short.
Speaker: I'm going to do some, not, not short, but normal time. Saturdays are fun because Saturdays, you know, we can, we can, uh, yeah, we can go longer. Not quite as long as we do tonight, but you know what should happens. I got to figure out what I'm going to do with this episode. I might go long. I might edit, might do this at now. Yeah, it is what it is. But on that note, I'm searching until next time folks.
Speaker: the same same book channel same Jeff time I don't know. I thought that was Batman. I thought that was Batman. I thought that was Batman. I thought it was Batman. Yeah, it was Batman. The old radio show Green Hornet. Oh yeah, but they did it on Batman. I'm talking about the 50s.
Speaker: Yeah. Well, that was it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was. I think they started. Tune in next time on the same bad channel, the same bad time, bad time. Well, that really sounded like the Joker. I really saw that weird. I kind of, I kind of, I kind of accidentally went Mark Hamill Joker there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Don't push it there. It was sexy. It was sexy.
Speaker: It was a sexier Mark Hamill Joker. Take your word for it. But yeah, till next time.
Speaker: the the the
Speaker: You're my ecstasy, something I never could find
Speaker: And tell me everything
Speaker: Oh, I can't stay long this time Oh, baby, it's killing me Oh, baby, it's killing me Call me God and tell me everything
Speaker: Give you anything
