Transcript
Speaker: That's it, that's it
Speaker: We have no music, sir.
Speaker: That's okay How about that little new intro music for you guys? I Fucking love that shit. I Literally have it as my ringtone
Speaker: for my work Zoom calls. That shit is so badass. Rocky came through. Rock Lee, you guys might remember him from a few episodes back. He came on, he does EDM combat, musician, songwriter, producer, all that fun jazz. Does a little bit of everything when it comes to music. He hit me up the other day with that little surprise and I fucking love it. And the thing I like about it, the thing that kills me, not only does it give me chills, like crazy,
Speaker: But it makes me think of like a wrestling theme.
Speaker: You know what? I was thinking the same thing. I said, I was literally getting ready to send you a Snapchat about it. I'm like, doesn't this make you want to just, I don't know what it is. What's the, what's, who does the thing where they, they cross their arms and surround their cock with her hand? What's a, uh. Oh, DX. DX. Yeah. That's the suck it, the cross shot. Yeah, exactly. That just totally makes me want to do that as I'm walking down the fucking aisle way and then smash two beers together. Oh, I was telling a buddy of mine about it.
Speaker: Jeff, I'm going to strangle you. I swear to God I'm going to strangle you. What did I do? Do you need to disable your Facebook? I did. Yeah, I did. I disabled all. I disabled all. You're still alive. You're still fucking up. It's dark because it's really bright outside. Normally it's, it's, somebody asked, why is it so dark?
Speaker: anonymous witness yeah it's it's it as the night goes on it will get I will get brighter yeah I guess I could you can you adjust your like if you if you move your I'm sure I could if I sit here well I'll just say your laptop sometimes if you like just like if you just adjust your your camera on your laptop no
Speaker: It's the same. There it goes. I'll get into that here in a second.
Speaker: Apparently my other phone died and I didn't know it and then I'm trying to turn it on and out so like, ooh, we're gonna be stupid slow so you can't share this anywhere you want it to. Yeah, I have that problem sometimes. Yeah. As soon as we were alive, it was like, Jeff's alive on Facebook. I was like, just son of a bitch! Are you serious? Yeah. Because I literally disabled Facebook right before you, like even before I accepted the invite. Did you disable it on your laptop?
Speaker: Yeah, of course. Where else would I do it? It doesn't work on my fucking phone. You still can't get in on your phone? Yeah, it's pissing me off. I shared the post. No, you're not alive. Oh, wait. Maybe I am. No, that's you. Yeah. No, I didn't. It's just me. I posted it fucking everywhere.
Speaker: Did you share it on two nonsensical nonsense? Yeah, I shared it. I shared it from nonsensical nonsense everywhere. I don't know what's going on because it's got Jeff is live now. Jeff is life now. Nonsense. What nonsense is life now? All on nonsensical nonsense. Anyways, all that, it's like I said, you gotta get that figured out on your end. Cause that's why.
Speaker: I think that's why the comments have been all fucked up. Before I accepted, because I actually tried to go live before, because the other day I can actually disable anything is actually try to go live and then it says view your accounts. So I tried to go live and. Yeah, I don't know. Anywho. Yeah.
Speaker: Well, let's just start to show with the shit show. But anyways, welcome. Disable it now. It'll kill them all. Not what we're like. Yeah, if you hit your three dots down there on the bottom of your screen and then just disable Facebook, it'll kill everything.
Speaker: Yeah, so we got officially we have new intro music now since today's over I'm gonna share that out so everybody can get a listen to it. It'll go on Instagram and tick tock and all that jazz I Just don't want to put it out there till we got the chance to use it But I was telling a buddy of mine about it
Speaker: Even I were talking I was like dude wait till you hear it because it sounds like a wrestling Theme and he was like, yeah You know you and I can get together and I've got equipment and I can edit and we can make a video Where you're doing like a nonsensical nonsense thing like in a wrestling style you come out and come to the mic and all this other stuff He's like it'd be badass and we can edit the hell out of it and try to get Jeff to do a video and we can edit them together and everything and
Speaker: And I was like, you know, we probably could try to do something like that. Well, oddly enough, oddly enough, I tried to put it on TikTok and it said that it was, I couldn't use the sound and I literally was going to argue with TikTok about like, like argue the dispute, but they wouldn't let me. Really? So I deleted it. Yeah, it was on my account. They wouldn't let you use the sound. Well, we got banned last week anyways. No, but I did on my account.
Speaker: Because I did a really cool things like oh shit, it just got real we got a fucking theme song And my wife is all impressed with us. She's like why you guys got a theme song? Yeah, we didn't even do it. Rock Lee did it for us. Yeah professional did well Yeah, we're we're uh, we got banned on tiktok Saturday night. What'd you do?
Speaker: I didn't do anything. Well, aside from all that, we'll get that here in just a second. But, uh, welcome to the show, guys. Welcome to Nonsense Go Nonsense. I'm Glick, as always, hanging out with Jeff. You know, I've had all this other bullshit. It seems like every episode lately, there's bullshit going on in the beginning, because we don't have our pre -show anymore, so fuck you, Haps. Haps, they're getting shit together. We need to pre -show.
Speaker: Speaking of apps, everybody's turned into a bunch of fucking Jesus freaks on this goddamn app. I noticed that as well, and I'm like, oh my god. If this is what heaven's like, we're gonna screw it up for everybody. Yeah, I've noticed that a lot of people that I've followed have now all of a sudden, or that I've followed for a long time, have now all of a sudden gone into this super Christian Jesus freak mode.
Speaker: Wait a minute. Y 'all just completely changed your personalities overnight and changed the way you do your shows literally overnight. Just like a Christian owned company house.
Speaker: I don't know, but they're not gonna like that. Maybe that's how you get noticed. Yeah, they're not gonna like us. That's for goddamn sure. But anyway, speaking of apps, speaking of social media, if you guys aren't already, feel free to give us a follow on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok at Nonsense School Nonsense. You can also catch us live every Wednesday and Saturday night. Wednesdays we normally get this party started around 6 o 'clock, and Saturdays get rocking and rolling about 8 o 'clock.
Speaker: And then you can also catch every single episode, which I know a couple people this week have been listening religiously to like every single episode. You can catch those on Anchor, Spotify, Google Play, Apple Podcasts, basically anywhere and everywhere you get your podcast fixings from.
Speaker: But if you'd be so kind, go give us a like, give us a share, tell your friends about it. Give us a shout out on Facebook. I've seen that today, Cam. Thank you very much, dude. That was awesome. Appreciate you, brother. That was awesome, dude. And go give us the old thumbing. Give Jeff the old double thumbing that he likes so much. Yeah. Speaking of following two of the people I work with, we're going to start listening.
Speaker: Nice well doesn't doesn't your boss and doesn't your boss and her husband listens Incredibly busy, unfortunately tonight. They probably won't be here her dad He's got health issues and they had to go to the hospital I'm calling the game word on every dog in your fucking neighborhood. Just so you know, you know, the problem is there's all these kids Right around the neighbor got his new dog
Speaker: and he just won't shut up. So I'm going to buy a baby gun. Thanks. I will shut him up. But along with all the social media and all that budget, if you guys would like to reach out to us, if you want to come on the show and be a guest, if you want to sponsor the show, you can always email us at, uh, the, I'm sorry, my brain shut off. I was literally getting ready to say, we got our first email and it was Rob Lee sending us an email.
Speaker: I literally made it a point to say we did get our first email, folks, and it was Rockley sending us our theme song. Cameron, if you would like to email us and troll us for days, you can. We will ignore it. That's fine. We can block you. That's no problem. We won't block you, but we'll just scroll past it like we do everything else. However, I do have to... Speaking of Cameron trolling. Yeah, go ahead. We got our fantasy football chat. Nah, Cameron.
Speaker: I beat his ass without my star wide receiver. Why didn't beat his ass without my star wide receiver or a quarterback in fantasy football last week. I beat him. I beat him by four points. I was like, I don't have my receiver, but I didn't have my quarterback. I didn't, well, I mean, everybody knows. Yeah. Well, you've seen what I look like Sunday morning when I got up. Jesus Christ, dude. It looked like you had somebody growing out of your fucking chin. Yeah. So I,
Speaker: Completely forgot about fantasy football. I didn't check my lineup or anything. So I was like fuck Well, here goes the loss doesn't matter. I still have the best record in the league and nobody can catch me at this point. So but um, oh Yeah, what I was uh, I do want to get in the news before we get into news I have news You have it is unfortunately sad news. I'm gonna actually bring it up
Speaker: Wait a second here. Art La Flora. Now, by name, you don't know the guy. But, do you remember the movie The Sandlot? Yeah. Okay, he played Babe Ruth. Oh really? He died 10 days ago. Well damn. Yeah, he died, he was 78 years old. He died of atypical Parkinson's disease.
Speaker: Oh, shit. RFP to art floor. He was in a shit ton of stuff, dude. He was in, hold on, I'm breaking it up. Let's see. He's in the Santa Claus 2, the Sandlot, Field of Dreams, House Hunting, Haunting. You know, it's hunting. It looks like it's a horror film. I think you'd like it. What, what, what, what? What was it? What was the floor? Look him up. House Hunting.
Speaker: 2012 The tagline for house hunting is you are not alone Huh? It's 2012 movie. I just saw zone troopers and 85 Tracers and 84 air America tracers to man in the house with Chevy Chase and Jonathan Taylor Thomas and 95 death warrant
Speaker: The rig. He was in The Replacements, actually. He played the assistant coach in The Replacements. Huh. The dude's been doing everything, man. He's an Ace Ventura pet detective, the junior. What? Yeah, in 2009, there's an Ace Ventura pet junior. OK, fair enough. I think I've never seen that movie, but I've like... Yeah, I've seen the poster for it.
Speaker: Yeah. I've never seen the movie. But he was in Pauly Shore movies, Santa Claus 3, Mr. Baseball, Cobra, with Stallone. I mean, this dude's been in a ton of shit. Yeah, it sounds like he was one of those that guys. Yeah, exactly. But yeah, he died 10 days ago. I saw a thing on, it popped up in my Google feed.
Speaker: And I was like, aw, who the fuck is Art Fillore? And I had to look him up. And I was like, holy shit, I know this guy. I've seen he's in everything. Yeah. But he's famously known for playing in Field of Dreams and the Sandlot. Both times he was a baseball player. Huh.
Speaker: I'm going to have to look you up. I'm not going to do it now. I'm trying to share this out while you were rattling on there. So it's a, yeah, I, I, I just kind of. Oh, man. Oh my God, somebody's trying to. Oh, this, this guy on, on the chatters box. He's like, if you guys want us to promote you. Oh yeah. All the money in the world.
Speaker: yeah it's it's you know the thing is about the whole just promote us for free there yeah do it for free and then if you get us matador 10 000 followers we'll go ahead and um we'll pay you Jeff we'll show you his wiener yeah there you go we'll move you out of your mom's house
Speaker: How are we going to move? How are we going to move them out of their mom's house? We'll just go over there nonsense and drag them out. Just yank them out. Get out of your mom's house. Other people on Twitch. Speaking of, as I was saying about social media, so Saturday night we got banned on TikTok. Not quite sure why or how. It was for hate speech though. Imagine that.
Speaker: I was actually in I was actually kind of live hopping and I was water bushes I was in one live with the guy who was actually on there looking for a fight. He was Trying to look for people to argue with him argue with him
Speaker: No, no, no, no. He was, he was actually looking for people to argue with him about the verdict on Kyle Rittenhouse. He, he, he was, he was pro Kyle. And then I came in there and I started talking to him and I was like, yeah, but if you're going to have that same energy towards Kyle Rittenhouse, you got to have the same energy towards blah, blah, blah. And he's like, look, man, he's like, obviously you and I agree with each other. So, I mean, him and I actually just wound up bullshitting. Then I got into another life with another guy and, uh,
Speaker: him and I got to bullshitting around and just fucking talking and having fun. He was actually a pretty cool dude. We actually, uh, uh, might have something down the road coming out with the two of us because he's a black guy and, uh, obviously I'm a white guy. Well, that's kind of what, what, what, what we were going to base, what we're going to base on what we want to talk about. No, it's kind of like, it's kind of like, you know, he's like, what's a point of view that,
Speaker: It's not a black or white thing because everybody struggles. And instead of coming on and having just one side, we're going to have both. We want to do both sides of, you know, the fence. Yeah, well, yeah. It's not all... You and I talked about this a long time ago about, like, for years, I was always like, Chris has got his shit together.
Speaker: And you've looked at me and said, not necessarily the same thing, but you've at least thought it once or twice. And then we come to realize neither one of us can find our socks in the morning. So it's the other side of the same coin. Yeah, so it's just kind of a, it's kind of a, you know. What the hell?
Speaker: Uh, we can both sit down and have a grown ass conversation and, and, and we were just, I mean, we were just shooting a shit and having fun and drinking and bullshitting. And then we got into a couple.
Speaker: You know, a couple serious, more serious topics, so to say. Uh, and then when we were talking about that, he's like, dude, I have a perfect idea and you might be the perfect guy for it. I was like, Oh, okay. Well, let's see what you got. I was talking to my buddy. Uh, I met him here. He lives in, well, he was in Chicago last time I talked to him, but that's cause his mom was like, he's, he's literally like, uh, he's my, he's the black version of you basically.
Speaker: for me anyways he's like my best friend and he and I were talking about that he and I might do something not necessarily about cars but like like we're actually talking about doing a like a political podcast that way I can get out of my system before I do this
Speaker: Because me, when the 2020 presidential race was coming up, we were fucking messaged back and forth more than you and I messaged back and forth. Because he leads a little bit more left and I lead him a little bit more right, but we're both about centering off most of the time.
Speaker: Really? Yeah. Well, he's not super left. I'm not speaking about you. I'm speaking about you. I'll cut it in the middle. As far. I am. I support LBGTQ, FYG, all that fun stuff. But I'm
Speaker: I'm for the concept of Black Lives Matter, but not for Black Lives Matter, if that makes sense. But I lean more right than center, but I still, I can see the point of some of the left things. But he and I were talking about doing something, so we might, but we're not sure.
Speaker: Yeah. So at the end of the day, I honestly, I have no idea where the hate speech band came in other than the fact that, um, I think this, this, these two girls came in real fucking dumb. I was like, how old are you guys?
Speaker: And they're like, we're 16. I was like, yep, see ya. Is it A, you're dumb and B, you're way too young to be. And as soon as I kicked them out, then I got the band. I was like, oh, those little bitches. It's literally, it's one of those things. If you talk to somebody under age, fuck you, you're just asking for trouble. Even if it's like, hi, how you doing?
Speaker: It can be taken the wrong way. Yeah, no, I was just like, I highly, highly doubt you were like, Hey, what are you wearing? But it's more of a, it's more of a, wait a minute, how are you? Yeah, I gotta go. It's nothing against you, but call me. Well, like people like, well, I was, I was at random, I guess how I want to talk to those two guys. I actually want to hang out with those guys for quite a while, bullshitting around with them.
Speaker: But people were like, send a request to join my live or, you know, whatever. And they were like, all right, well, let's see how, let's see what this person's all about. I'd let them come in for a minute or two. And if it just wasn't, you know, then I'd be like, all right, well, see you later. I gotta go do something else. Hey, that's basically, I've got her, unless I didn't even look at the name, I was like, fuck it, let's see who this is. And they came in and I was like, oh God, how old are you guys? And I was like 16. I was like, yeah, nope, bye. I was like, my daughter, I got my oldest daughter as old as you guys, you guys are gone.
Speaker: Meanwhile, after I get banned and I'm scrolling through, there was literally some chick that was, might've been using dental floss as clothing.
Speaker: and doing God knows what. No, no, no, no, she was, no, no, no, she was live. And so I was like, well, if I just got banned for hate speech, I wonder if I'd get her banned for nudity and stuff. So I reported it and like, it wasn't even five minutes and TikTok was like, we've reviewed your, your, your report that you submitted and we found nothing wrong with it. I was like, what? Did I mention she's underage?
Speaker: But now, so I think we're on a band until like Saturday or Sunday or something like that. It was like a one week thing. I don't know. But yeah, it's been an interesting week. This week is literally fucking flew by. Monday was dragged a little bit for me, but man, yesterday I was like, shit, even today, I literally started calling people at eight o 'clock.
Speaker: And next thing I was like, Holy shit, it's five o 'clock. I gotta get off. Yeah. A little bit, but I'm also now I'm off the next two days. So I have tomorrow off and Friday is optional for us, but because we work remotely, so it's whatever the problem is. I don't know how many people are going to be in their offices. Well, I was going to say that it's probably going to be a big thing as far as far as it goes here in the States.
Speaker: You know, a lot of people are going to take Friday off. Most people do take Friday off.
Speaker: Yeah, exactly. But the difference is, these are all owners of companies that I'm calling. So it's like, the one guy, I talked to him, he's like, look, Jeff, I'd love to sit and talk to you. I literally got him on the phone. And I was like, hey, hey, Bob, how you doing? This is Jeff from the company. And he goes, I was like, Jeff, I can't talk right now. I'll fill it up. He's like, I'd love to talk to you. Call my daughter. Here's her number. She's in charge of all that stuff.
Speaker: No problem, I don't remember guys I think it was Shelby
Speaker: And I don't know if it's my misogyny, but I saw Shelby and I was like, oh, okay, I'll talk to a check, no big deal. And he answered, he's like, hello. And I was like, is Shelby there? He's like, it's me. I was like, how you doing Shelby? You're not a girl. It threw me for a loop for a minute. But that's happened like three times already where I'm like, oh, okay, this woman, she owns a restaurant. I hear, hello. What the fuck?
Speaker: Yeah, because I cannot believe this woman owns her own restaurant women don't own their own businesses They're not allowed to one lady said She's gonna send me a set of steaks. I said I'll send you my address
Speaker: Make sure you send her my address. That's what I said. I'll give you two addresses. You send money and we'll eat them on the table. Yeah. It'll be a whole hell of a lot cheaper for her to send them to me than you. Well, funny thing is I told her where I was. You know, I mean, it's not something.
Speaker: I'm not supposed to do, but if I say, oh, I'm calling you from Mexico, they're like, whoa, I gotta go. Because it makes it sound like a scam. It's literally IRS. And I said, well, I work remotely. She's like, where are you located? I said, well, I'm from Ohio, but I work remotely and I live in Mexico with my kids. And she's like, oh, you're in Mexico. I go down there all the time.
Speaker: I said, so this is what you're getting back. It's probably gonna be more, but this is our estimate. And she's like, if I get that much, what you just said, I will send you some steaks. And I said, I'll send you my address. He said, if I can send them, I'll bring them to you personally. I said, well, I'll give you my address. Make sure I get that to you.
Speaker: Yeah. Here's my address. I live in Newark, Ohio. The problem is the IRS, they're like four or five months behind. So it's like, if I talk to somebody today, they give me all their stuff today and we file tomorrow. In six months, they'll get their check. Jeez. Well, I mean, they'll get it eventually, so. Yeah, they still get it.
Speaker: That's all they're really worried about. I'm literally burning up the phone lines trying to get people done so I can get them in line. Two months it's going to be an eight month backlog. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so. Oh, yeah. Speaking of, they were talking about that today. We had a meeting about the mandate, whatever. Oh, that's good.
Speaker: And they're like, you got to get your information in quick because they're already backlogged and the holidays are here. So they're going to be backlogged even more. And I'm like, yeah, but I can't log into the system. So give me a person that I can take this shit and hand it to him personally, because every time I try to log in, it tells me that they don't, they don't recognize my employee information. And it's like,
Speaker: All right. So I took a screenshot of it and I sent it to everybody. They're like, look, this is the problem I'm having. So don't come at me sideways when I'm trying to do what you want me to do. I had the same issue on Monday. My boss called and said, hey, I need your W nine and I need I need this and I need it all signed and sent to me today. And I was like, all right, I'll get right on it. And we use a program called DocuSign. Yeah. And the company actually pays for me to use it.
Speaker: Yeah, a lot of companies use it. I can't figure the fucking thing out! It's not that hard. Well, I think it was because I've used it since, but I uploaded it on Monday and he received like six emails before he could actually really use it. And I got one email that confirmed my email account and then I was like, sorry, sorry, why isn't it signing?
Speaker: But I finally, I literally had my boss on the phone. She's like, you know what? Just send it to me. I'll sign it for you. Sounds like a plan. Yeah, there you go. She was all good for about it, but she was pissed. She's like, what are you retarded? I said, apparently. Yeah, a little bit. You've known me for seven years. You know I'm fucking retarded. But I got it all signed and got it sent in. So I get paid on Friday. I'm not happy.
Speaker: Yeah, that's the problem. I mean, you got all these systems you want us to use, but then they're not working properly. And instead of fixing the system or acknowledging that we're having issues with the system, instead, they want to come at us sideways. And yeah, it's like I literally have an IT tech for fucks sake. I literally have hard copies of the information you want in my fucking hand. I will bring it to your office. I have not been in the office in like three years.
Speaker: Then I'll bring it to your fucking house. I don't care. I was like, I'm not one of these assholes. I'm gonna fucking office Max and scan that shit into a computer and send it to you. Cause they were like, if you want an exemption for, if you don't want to show proof of the vaccine, blah, blah, blah. I said, that is not the hill I'm dying on.
Speaker: But I don't care. It's a piece of paper that says I got a shot. It doesn't give you any more information on me. You're going to get more information from me if I fill out the form to be exempt and then go down once a week and spit in a fucking tube for you guys to do a COVID test on me. You can get more information off of my DNA than what you're going to get from a fucking piece of paper that says somebody stabbed me in the arm with salt water.
Speaker: I'm pretty sure that's what it is. I don't care. I'm not dying on this hill today. You did get your shot there, Chibi? Yeah, I did get my shot.
Speaker: I'll be a sheepy says the guy coming from the guy whose doctor told him to shave his beard and he did and the guy who swore up and down that I ever met them was was the cure all and all be all months I never said this the best medicine there is Joe Rogan told me
Speaker: I'm sitting here watching, I'm working and I got Spotify on my fucking laptop and I got my headphones on and I'm working away and I'm emailing, I'm literally just sending out emails just boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And I got Joe Rogan in the background and him and Tim Pooler sitting there talking about Ivermectin and I fucking lost and I was like, Scranton, love that kind of stuff.
Speaker: Again, that's not the hill I'm gonna die on whether I'm vaccinated or not vaccinated or whether you can have my card or not have my card. I don't care. Here it is. I'm not that guy, you know? It's not that big of a deal. The hill that my wife was dying on yesterday or Monday, she's like, I said, I need to get a new headset because mine's falling apart and I need to get this and I need to get this. Just get you a Bluetooth earbud now that you got a laptop.
Speaker: Well, the funny thing was is she said, she said, I can't leave you. You're going to spend all the money you're making on new equipment. I said, here's what you don't get. I am now an LLC, which means I'm basically my own company. Which means I can write up, I can write off up to $5 ,000 worth of stuff for work. She's like, what? I said, yeah. And I was, you know, because they don't have income tax here in Mexico.
Speaker: You don't get an income tax check back and all that stuff. They just take out taxes and that whatever they take is that fuck you kind of thing concept of income tax. I said, I, uh, my cousin is my, uh, my CPA, my, he does my taxes.
Speaker: And he works for HR block and all that shit. Your cousin who's the trash guy for for Rumpke. He actually does all the taxes for my uncle's business. Yeah, as well. Really smart guy, I completely trust him and everything. And I was on the phone with him and I said, I said, I have a dumb question. What can I write off? He's like, well, how far is it from your bed to your laptop? I said, why?
Speaker: I keep my laptop next to bed. He's like, okay, how far is it from your bed to go downstairs and sit on your couch? I said, I don't know, 25, 30 feet. He says it's 50 miles. I said, no, it's 25, 30 feet. He's like, no, no, no, it's 50 miles. I'm like, why? He's like, because we can ride up off to 100 miles round trip each day. He's just gonna drive a V8, right? I was like, no, my car's unfortunately, he says it's a V8, right? I'm like,
Speaker: Yeah, I put it no my car don't even run Yeah, he says what you're gonna do is you're gonna put your name on your truck and then LLC Doesn't have to be very big just really small. I said why is it good. We write off the whole fucking truck I said get the fuck out of here. He's just up to eighty thousand dollars Do you guys do you see working working for a state or a company that's located?
Speaker: In the states. That's in Utah. I don't care where it's at, it's in the states. Do you have to pay like US taxes and all that shit? Do you have to fill out taxpayer work for the states? Before I could actually get paid on Friday, I had to fill out a W -9.
Speaker: and a W -9 is basically like you fill out, when you fill out your taxes, you fill out the - W -9 is for like self -employed people. Yeah, self -employed. Just dumb it down before you go into a 10 -minute breakdown. Yeah, well like you fill out a W -2. I fill out a W -9. You're still gonna dumb it. You're still gonna break it down for 10 minutes, aren't you?
Speaker: I'm probably gonna fill out a second one and resend it in W 9's are for people who are quote -unquote self -employed you do you get a W 9 when you drive for uber or grub hub or Door dash and stuff like that. Yeah, exactly so
Speaker: I had to fill that out and it took all of three minutes. It took me longer to sign the fucking thing than it did. Oh yeah, they're super. When I drove for Uber for all of four months, I got one and I had to fill it all out and everything. But my cousin was like, he's like, how much you making? And I told him and he says, okay, 30 % put it to the side. I said, what do you mean? He says, you gotta pay your taxes, dude. I was like, what are you gonna do? I'm in Mexico. He says, they'll block your fucking account. I said, I don't know. Okay, okay. What do you think they're gonna do?
Speaker: But like he was telling, he was giving me a list of all the things I could write off. I'm like, he's like, you know, you can write off your internet. I said, so my internet's $200 a month. He's like, is it really? I said, no, it's like 20 bucks. It's $200 a month. But like I could write off like up to 50 % of my electricity without showing a receipt. Well, sir, now that you've admitted to tax fraud on the broadcast,
Speaker: Go ahead and that 30 that that 30 % that you're gonna put back go ahead and add another 15 % Because that's what you're gonna have to pay me to keep my mouth shut and not air this out I'm so deathly afraid of fucking IRS. I'm Really fucking honest. I'm like Yeah
Speaker: The worst thing I the scariest thing to me is is an audit from the IRS because I don't see I don't keep receipts for nothing Yeah, I can't want it if you're gonna start claiming stuff make sure
Speaker: Make sure you keep those receipts, you know, just get you a little, get you a folder that you can throw all your receipts and shit in and keep it somewhere safe. Well, Friday, I need to go pick up a few things when I get paid and I need to, I'm gonna pick up, like, one of them plastic containers. Yeah, one of the little file containers. Yeah, and I'm gonna get one of those and just, every time, anything I buy,
Speaker: Give me the receipt and throw it in there. Yeah, exactly. Keep all them fucking receipts. Because I mean, I had to do that. If you do audit me, I'll just hand them that box and go, there you go. Yeah, I had to do that for like my W -9 with what... Because I drove for Uber just for shits and grins just because I didn't need the money. I just didn't want to be at home. It was like right after
Speaker: Courtney had left me. So I was like, I don't want to be here by myself in this big ass fucking house. So that I would just go drive for Uber. But anytime I got gas, oil change, if I bought anything for my car or whatever, like I would, I would keep bottles of water and gum and like little, like I would, I would go to like the Dollar Tree and get like little, little snacks, you know, I'd get a ton of snack and I would keep them in my back seat, you know, for people or whatever.
Speaker: Everything. My neighbor, he was like, dude, keep all those receipts. And that's what he told me. He's like, I'll detail your car, which he would do. And he'd write up a receipt for me.
Speaker: Yeah, hell yeah. Again, he didn't charge me because it was my neighbor. All that stuff is deductible. But he wrote me up a receipt for it. He's like, I can shoot your windows and we can write up a receipt for it. You can write it off. He's like me, Chris, I'll put rims on your car and we'll give you turbo the shit out of that bitch and we'll write it off.
Speaker: I get paid? You get paid. Yeah, I was like, I don't want my windows to this. I'm good. Are you sure? Yeah, I'm good. I'm good with the factory tent that's on them. They're fine. Exactly. No, but he was telling me some of the things like when you're an LLC, you can write off for work equipment. You can write off up to $5 ,000 without showing a receipt. And I'm like, oh.
Speaker: Really? Yeah, right? I'm like, Chris, you want to be dependable? I will put you in my tax. As long as I get my dependent money, I will be a dependent. Now, at the end of the day, like I said, my cousin and I were basically joking about it, but he was like, oh, dude, we get you paid. I'm like, you know what? I get played plenty at work.
Speaker: Uh, I, I just want to, I, I'm so scared of the IRS. Well, just do it. Just, just, just keep it on the straight and narrow. Yeah, exactly. I mean, claim, you know, claim legit stuff. Don't, don't go out there. Exactly. It's not like I'm going to write these off because I walk in them, you know, there were $5 ,000. They're living a division. Yeah. Right. Yeah. It's, it's,
Speaker: I've had that fill out W9s before, and I've run businesses before, so it's no big deal. Well, look at you, Mr. Fancy Pants. Well, I had a detailing company in the states that I sold before I moved down here. By the way, Luke Perry called from 1994, and he wants his shirt back.
Speaker: even got your sleeves rolled up and everything. There's stone like that. You look like a rejected. I put it on today and I was like, oh, I got to roll this down. I look like a douche. You look like a rejected extra from Beverly Hills, 90210. You cannot pull off a 72 year old kid. You look like a 60 year old man. I know.
Speaker: much like, um, uh, John Jolta in Greece, dude was like 35, he's playing an 18 year old kid. Yeah, the whole cast. Watching that as a kid, watching that as a kid, it never dawned on me that they were in high school. I was like, really? Well, I knew they were in high school, but it never, I never put too... It never dawned on me until I got a little bit older that they were playing two majors.
Speaker: They are all in their 30s. Yeah, exactly. Kanicki was like 45. Yeah, and Stocker Channing, who played, I love that woman. She was 75. She's still a good for her age. Well, in the last movie I saw her in, I saw her, what's that movie? With, oh, I can't remember, it's it. Oh my God, it's gonna probably be nuts. I have to look it up.
Speaker: I have no idea. Diane Lane. I love Diane Lane. That one's gorgeous. Speaking of movies or TV shows, you watch anything new this week? You got a spoiler you want to give everybody? I do. That's not really a spoiler. The show's been out for a little while. I watched Afterlife with Ricky Gervais on Netflix.
Speaker: It's actually a good show, it's funny. Basically what it is, Ricky Gervais' wife, before the show had started, she's died from cancer. And he's just, he's coming out of the fact that he wants to die and all this stuff. And he works for this shitty fucking newspaper. And the guy that's, he works, he lives in a small town in England, and he works for this free newspaper,
Speaker: And the funniest thing is, he goes around to people like they got a piece of toast and it's burnt and it looks like Jesus on it or something like that. And he goes around and interviews these people.
Speaker: It's so fucking funny, that movie cracks me up. Or that show cracks me up. At one point, he goes on a date. One of his friends sets him up for a date. And the woman shows up, she's, you know, Ricky Drey's character, he only just drinks, you know.
Speaker: And this woman's chain smoking, and he's like, she basically tells him, I don't wanna be here. And he's just like, whatever, we'll take Split the Jack. He's constantly ripping on his photographer for being fat and out of shape and all this stuff. It's actually really good. Obviously he doesn't kill himself because season two happens, and basically the only reason he doesn't kill himself is because
Speaker: of the dog that he got his wife. And he constantly watches on his laptop home movies and a goodbye video that his wife sent him. And season three is getting ready to come out soon and I can't wait. It's so funny.
Speaker: It's very British. It's, uh... I was gonna say, I think I know what you're talking about. I was gonna ask, isn't it like a British comedy, like drama, dramedy or something like that? Yeah, it's Ricky Gervais, you know, the guy that literally told Hollywood to go kick rock. Yeah. And, uh, it's really funny. It's, it's... There's a couple parts where you're like, aw, I feel bad for him, but he'd be friends like a hooker.
Speaker: And he he's talking to her one day and he's like so you'll do anything for like 20 bucks. Well, he says Pounds and she's like, yeah, he's so he walks her back to his house And then she just starts showing up all the time he kind of her friends the mailman and he you remember Shaun of the dead and
Speaker: Yeah. Okay. Who the hell are you? Shaun's mom from Shaun of the Dead is in it. And he meets her while she's sitting at her husband's gravestone is next to Ricky Giroir's wife. And they become friends. And that's his kind of therapy. Because his therapist is a fucking idiot. His boss is his brother -in -law. And his boss is basically a sad sack.
Speaker: It's really funny, but the best part is when he's sitting there talking to Sean's mom. And he's like, I've decided I'm not going to be a dick to everybody. I'm just going to be a dick to people that deserve it. He befriends the hooker and he befriends the mailman that he's constantly mean to. And his mailman will show up every once in a while and be like, hey, can I use your bathroom?
Speaker: Why? He's like, well, I gotta go to the bathroom. He's like, fine, whatever. Then it was 20 minutes later, the guy's still in the bathroom, goes upstairs, and the dude's in the bathtub. And he's like, what are you doing? He's like, well, I got a date tonight. He's like, yeah, but go home. He's like, well, if I go home and then shower and then I go meet her, I won't have time. He's like, but whatever, just finish her. I gotta go. He's like, okay, I'll lock up for you.
Speaker: Funny it's it's a really cute funny show But it does have its sad moments words You're like, oh you kind of feel for the guy I can't I can't I can't do the sad shit like Well, you know as many as many times as I've seen Like psych or Scrubs there's
Speaker: Alright, this is gonna be me sounding like a bitch right now, but you know what, I'll be a bitch and you guys can make fun of me and laugh at me. Oh my god! Oh my god! That is the worst, that is the worst group of episodes on Scrubs ever. That is such an emotional roller coaster. Dr. Cox, Dr. Cox kills me in those episodes.
Speaker: And when he finally realized he's like, JD looks at him, he's like, where do you think we are right now?
Speaker: And then he realizes where he is, and you just fucking weep like a little girl. I don't care who you are. Scrubs and psych. Both of those shows, known for their comedy. Explain the psych one, because I've gotten that far into it, because I don't have it on Hulu or anything, because I don't have Hulu down here until I get a VPN. So I don't know. Oh, yeah, you don't have Prime down there either.
Speaker: I have prime. I just have to appreciate for it. They're just emotional roller coasters, man. They have so many funny shows, but every once in a while, there's one of the season finales. Sean's dad gets shot. Oh, OK. There's a season finale, or there's an episode where Sean gets shot. The whole romance between Sean and Juliette. No, they get married.
Speaker: Yeah, no, I know. Trust me. I've seen every episode of Psych. I'm on my fourth or fifth time watching it. And I've seen both movies a couple times. And I just realized that on Peacock, they got a brand new S .C .R .U .B .S. Psych 3 movie called This Is Gus. Oh, no shit. Oh, yeah, I saw that. And that one looks good. So I'm actually going to probably watch that tomorrow because
Speaker: I'm a loser and I have no friends and family, so it's just Thanksgiving by myself. Right. So, I'm gonna watch Psych 3. Do Thanksgiving. I was gonna say, you guys don't celebrate Thanksgiving down there. It's an American holiday. It's not, yeah, it's an American holiday. It's for Americans, not you Mexicans. The problem is, is like... Build the wall. There's an ex -pat Thanksgiving. Uh -huh.
Speaker: Unfortunately, this year they're not doing it for some reason. I don't know why. Last year, I called my Cancun grandmother. She used to be my neighbor. I used to go over to her house, but she's in Virginia right now. I went to Kroger's today, which was a nightmare. Because I thought I had plans. I thought I was going to go over to my Brewster's tomorrow.
Speaker: Uh, but then he told me last minute that his, his wife decided to work and blah, blah, blah, whatever. I was like, all right, whatever. Uh, so I went to Kroger's today and just got me a little, like the same thing I did last year. I just got a little, uh, two pound, two and a half pound Turkey breast.
Speaker: then I'll cook up instead of a full turkey because there's no sense in me buying even the smallest turkey I could find was like eight pounds and there's no sense of me buying an eight -pound fucking turkey just for me yeah well I can get a turkey here I just don't have another big enough to cook it in
Speaker: Well, that's the thing. I mean, what is one person gonna do with an eight pound turkey? I couldn't even, I wouldn't even eat all the leftovers before it went bad. So I got, you know, and I got these, I got these little turkey breasts last year. Man, they were so fucking good too. Oh my God. And they come pre -seasoned and they're in like this.
Speaker: oh so good uh you know i got some other little fixings and of course i can get me a pumpkin boy oh yeah i'm gonna eat it i'm gonna eat it i'm gonna eat an entire pumpkin pie by myself tomorrow with a fucking spoon
Speaker: Oh my god, last night, last night my brother -in -law's, we celebrated my brother -in -law's birthday last night, right? And my wife's in there, she had just gotten home and he doesn't like, he doesn't like cake. So they bought him a cheesecake. And my wife said, can you give me a fork? And I was like, yeah, because I was living in the kitchen. And I could not find a fork to save my life, so I grabbed a spoon and I said, here.
Speaker: You can thank Chris. It's like, what? Well, you could eat a cheesecake with a spoon, but it's not the same effect as to when, like I said, this is only a good ratio when it comes to like a pumpkin pie and your Cool Whip. You eat it with a spoon, Cool Whip, pumpkin pie, perfect ratio every time. Or if you've got an apple pie or a cherry pie and you're eating it with vanilla bean ice cream,
Speaker: Vanilla bean ice cream with the spoon and the cherry pie I totally get because they spill out. So you get your spoon, you go into the ice cream first, then you go into the pie or for pumpkin pie you go into the whipped cream and then you go into the pumpkin pie. It's perfect every time. It's a perfect ratio. I'm telling you, don't knock it until you try it.
Speaker: It'll blow your mind. This is the hill Chris dies on, folks. This is the hill I die on, absolutely. This is a good goddamn hill to die on, too, Jeffrey. My wife asked me, she says, you're getting paid this Friday, right? I said, yeah, we're going straight to Costco. Ain't none of your business, bitch. No, but it's because, like, the Netflix bill's coming up and all that stuff. I said, I can't work this money. And she says, you're getting paid Friday, right? I said, yeah, why?
Speaker: She's like, Oh, that's just cause the Netflix has come up. I said, I'll get it. No, but the funny one is, but however, our first stop is Costco. She's like, why isn't this Thanksgiving? They're going to have pumpkin pies there. I'm buying that. I'm buying a pecan pie and honey baked ham. I love a good honey baked ham. Oh yeah. I can do that in my, in my little really toaster oven. Well, see we, I don't know if you guys have them down there or if you've ever heard of them. I don't know how long they've been around, but we have this place here called honey baked ham.
Speaker: and you can go in and you can buy your hams in there and you can get them cooked or uncooked and they've got the regular honey baked ham but then they got all these other or you can even go in there for lunch and just get like a sandwich and stuff because they have everything in the store it's like a little honey baked ham store it's almost like a deli
Speaker: Oh my God, dude. I'm telling you, they have, I'm not a big ham guy, but they have some of the best fucking ham in the world in there. And they were a customer of ours at Orkin. So, you know what, the great thing about being the Orkin man, and when they like you and you do a good job, when you come and see them. What was it?
Speaker: Uh, um, when you go in there once a month, then you get a free honey baked ham sandwich. So, and it's one of those things that shows up on the old job board. You're like, I'll take it. Yeah. Well, I had, I had three, I had three of them. So needless to say, I had one every week scheduled every month. So well, no, once, once a week for once a week, three of the weeks during the month, I got,
Speaker: my honey baked ham sandwich. And it was one of those things where you didn't have to eat it right then. And if it sat in your truck until lunchtime, even down there, it didn't hurt it. Right. Yeah. So, I mean, um, but, uh, for me, the best part of Thanksgiving is not, it's the leftovers. There's nothing better than a nice turkey sandwich or nice,
Speaker: you know, that thick fuck off ham sandwich, you know? Yeah, exactly. Well, yeah. That's one thing I do miss the last two years because like I said, last year it was just me. This year it's just me. I have, you know, I have no friends or family up here and I don't want to bother any of my friends and be like, can I go to your family's house with you for Thanksgiving? The weird, the weird bearded guy that comes over, eats food, drinks beer and passes out on the couch. Yeah. Even though, even though like, I know like Kevin and TJ, if they're going over to his mom and dad's, his mom and dad,
Speaker: They actually got a little bit upset because last year I didn't come over and I was home alone. But Kevin's parents love me, especially his mom. I used to tell Kevin all the time, dude, your mom's hot. It's just a weird about, but, uh, I just don't want to intrude. So I was like, how'd you do my own thing? You know, I ain't that big a deal. Right. Oh, you know, so.
Speaker: I'm going to do that. I'm going to get up in the morning and clean up the apartment, throw on the Macy's Day Parade and clean up the apartment. And then I'll cook me a little early dinner and then I'll have that for the rest of the day and night. And the kids aren't coming over until Friday. So. Right. So I have all day tomorrow, pretty much all day Friday. I wouldn't say I'm going to watch football, but the early game for tomorrow is
Speaker: Chicago and Detroit and they're both horrendous so it's like I could watch this game or I could watch this game or punch myself in the dick repeatedly. It's going to be just as painful. The only thing is maybe Detroit will get their first win of the season. That's a big maybe though.
Speaker: Thanksgiving we really didn't we would always do Like a family family thing back when I was home here here. We just kind of it's a normal fucking day, but yeah pretty much We would do a family thing so it always be that either my grandmother's or be at My aunt's or whatever or our house and like a small single -day family reunion for the closest people you know
Speaker: Well, my family's never really done much for Thanksgiving. Anyways, when I was, when we were up, when we were up here before, before we moved to South Carolina, my ex wife, her family always did stuff and it was always like a, it was like a big war deal. You know what I mean? Like everybody lives there and it was, it was like a two day thing basically. And it was fun.
Speaker: And then when we moved to Charleston, because we didn't have any family or anything down there, we started doing friendsgiving with our friends because I have eaten well 25 days and have lost 40 pounds 90 days, but I'm about to eat. Man, fucking tear it up. Dope. Oh yeah. I'll apparently get you a spoon, sir. Yes. Get you a pumpkin pie and get you a tub of Cool Whip. Get a spoon.
Speaker: Get a spoon, go into the cool whip first, and then go into your pumpkin pie. And if you've never done it, mind blown, and you can thank me later, sir. This is Chris's catchphrase. Ready Whip. Hey, Ready Whip's good, too. Either way. Ready Whip works. My wife makes her own whipped cream.
Speaker: I've done that before. I've actually done it before. It pisses me off because I'm like, you know, it's literally, the ingredients to make your own whipped cream is literally right next to the cool whip. I'm like, just get the fucking cool whip. Yeah, but you could, you could, you could add your own little, like I've done it, I've added my own little, like I've added cinnamon to it or I've added pumpkin spice to it or, you know. Well, she actually, she does it and she makes it into like, she freezes it. Yeah. Makes it into like an ice cream.
Speaker: It's fucking awesome don't get me wrong, but it's like you know we get the cool whip some strawberries in that bitch and call today Yeah, and I've done it like I mean I've thrown different things in there brown sugar. I've made cool whip a few times like I actually Several years back I started cooking for Thanksgiving. I do the turkey I do the whole nine yards and I started doing it mainly just because of my
Speaker: just because of my ex -wife's work schedule with she working in the hospital. Typically she would, you know, if she had to work the Wednesday night before, then I would just be like, all right, I'll handle the cooking. And she was like, really? And I'm like, yeah, I think I got this. I think first time I cooked the turkey, she was like, yeah, I'm never cooking a turkey again. I was like, fuck. This is a pain in the eye. I do want to try the whole deep fried turkey thing.
Speaker: You've got to be careful, man. Well, I mean, you can blow yourself up. My house is fucking concrete, so I don't care. There you go. That's not a bad thing. Actually, that's a pretty good Thanksgiving movie in all honesty. That's the best thing. Speaking of holiday movies. Yeah? Jeff, maybe you can answer this. The ultimate number one Christmas movie. Die Hard.
Speaker: Yes, sir. That was going to lead me to my next question. No, there's no question whatsoever. Die Hard is a Christmas movie. And number two is National Appoon's Christmas Vacation. Yep. Exactly how I put them. Yep. I literally, I have things I, I, I, every. Go to the holiday, go to the office party. Every. It'll be fun. Come to the close, we'll get together, have fun.
Speaker: Speaking of which, I have to remake my, now that I got my printer fixed, I have to remake my Christmas seed decoration. You print out a picture of John McClain holding the lighter, and you put it in a box wrapped in tin foil, and it literally looks like he's, and they put one of the lights behind it. It really looks like he's an event in your Christmas tree. Hell yeah.
Speaker: That's awesome. I saw it on, I saw it on TikTok, or not TikTok, I saw it on Facebook one day, I was like, oh, I know what I'm doing. Well, speaking of this.
Speaker: Speaking of top 10s, we're getting ready to take a real quick break. But speaking of top 10s, I got a two for 40 tonight. I got a double feature in the top 10 world. Die Hard number one, Vacation number two, Home Alone number three. I can agree with that. I can get behind that. Home Alone is a good movie. As I was saying. Home Alone in one. The other ones were. The second one is, oh, so bad. I do kind of want to see the new one. The remake on Disney Plus. Halloween, I have to watch Beetlejuice. And I have to watch Hocus Pocus. Not in any particular order.
Speaker: Hocus Pocus. You're such a girl, dude. I am. Well, Sarah Jessica Parker. I'm going to watch in a corset. Oh, man. And then it's Halloween. Let's watch Halloween movies. Hocus Pocus, please. And then, uh,
Speaker: Christmas, you gotta watch Die Hard. Petman, learn those things. Petman is annoying as shit. And I can't wait to see the new Hocus Pocus. Hocus Pocus 2's coming out soon. I think it's coming out next year. But I have to watch Die Hard for Christmas.
Speaker: vacation and home alone. Home alone is, is, it just gets thrown on throughout the month. Yeah. It's a, it's a good number three. I agree with that. It's home loans, a good number three. Cause that's one that in the last couple of years that around Christmas time that we've actually started watching quite a bit in my house. You're the funny thing. You'll, you'll, you'll give me shit for this. And I know you will. My pet peeve about home alone. Oh Jesus Christ. What the fuck?
Speaker: Does Kevin's dad do? Because he's literally flying the entire pretty girl. I'm not getting my face. He's Lily flies the entire did you not see their house? And he's got that big fuck off house. Don't worry about what he does Don't worry about don't worry about it. I want his job forget about it. Don't worry about what he does He does things he just does things man. Don't worry about it. Forget about it. I have a factoid about the movie Joe Pesci
Speaker: on set would not talk to Macaulay Culkin throughout the entire filming because he wanted to think that he was just as mean and evil as he wanted to get a better reaction on the kid kind of thing. Yeah, I saw that the other day. I was like, oh, but damn, that's fucking cool shit. But I mean, but at the other day, it's like. I mean, Joe Pesci, as much as he plays like
Speaker: the good fella type, bad guy type. I bet in real life he's probably one of the sweetest motherfuckers you'll ever meet. One, you're four foot tall.
Speaker: Yeah Jim Carrey's Grinch is actually pretty good. That's that's probably up there in one of our top Christmas movies And he said fuck Uncle Frankie. I found that Uncle Frank. Yeah, you know Uncle Frank is touching kids Yeah, uncle Frank is a douche Seriously that that whole scene where he's like look what you did you little I would knock that motherfucker out you talked to my kid like that You're about to get laid the fuck out. Yeah
Speaker: Kevin was kind of the shithead of the family anyways, just to let anybody really like him. Yeah, that's the thing, he didn't really, yeah, nobody really liked him and he didn't even do it. Yeah, he didn't even really do it. Did you see in the preview of the new Home Alone? I haven't watched it yet, I'm waiting for it. No, I want to watch it with the kids.
Speaker: He plays one of the cops? He plays the cop, yeah. And the security system, the security system for the house is called Macalester Security. Huh, well there's what his dad did. No, I think it's a reference to Macaulay Culkin, you know, protecting his house. I kind of want to see the new movie. It does look cute. I don't think it'll stand up to the original. I never saw the third one.
Speaker: They're all bad. After the... Yeah, exactly. After the second one. Kevin, you are such a disease. Kevin, I'm going to feed you to my tarantula. Exactly! The dude is a fucking terrorist. He's a little terror on poor Kevin. Well, you know, he had that. Kevin's a... Have you heard the theory about Kevin? What's that? That he grew up to be the Saw guy?
Speaker: What yeah, it's the theory because if you look at all the elaborate shit he said up That means that kids What's that
Speaker: Sorry, one of the guys I worked with just texted me. After they'd been giving me shit the last two days at work, we had, like yesterday we did Chili Dogs and we ate those leftover steaks from the other day, and they put on highlights from OSU versus Michigan. Of course, OSU winning, because Saturday's the OSU Michigan worst.
Speaker: Today, today we got pizza. There's this amazing pizza place on campus. Oh my God. Their pizza's like not too thick, but not too thin. Just perfect. You know that somewhere in between in the crust is, has got a little bit of a crunch to it. But uh, so we got pizza from there. Typically we get pizza from there every Friday. So today, so they've been fuck will be all week because it is Michigan, Ohio state weekend. I don't really have much room to say anything though. I mean, I think Michigan has won twice in the last 20 years.
Speaker: So, he just texted me and he was like, alright, I got Camara out. So, so I have Javate Williams against the Chargers or should I pick up Tevin Campbell against the Texans? Oh, now you want fantasy football advice, huh, Mr. Wise Guy? I'll message you here in a little bit. Be like, oh, so now you want, now you want fantasy advice. So, there, Wise Guy. Not so funny now, huh? Well, it's like,
Speaker: Lazy COVID -thon, yes. You are what the French call lazy COVID -thon. Did my speaker die? Maybe. I think it did. Fucking kids. But anyways, let's take a real quick break. We're gonna come back with news. I do got some, actually a lot of stories. So I'm gonna pick a couple tonight and then I'll pick a couple tomorrow. And then if you're down for a third hour, I'm down for a third hour.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, as far as it goes right now. So in the third hour, we'll put the top 10 in the third hour. Yeah. Yeah, because we use it. Thank you. But like I said, I got a double feature in the top 10 today. Because tomorrow is Thanksgiving, so. Yeah. So let me go ahead and fire up the old. When advertising on YouTube, I know that
Speaker: the old YouTube box here. Stop going right to that fucking song. We need to get that half snitz to get on that fucking thing. Hopefully they'll have it fixed by the end of the weekend.
Speaker: Yeah, I don't know when they're planning on having it. It just says coming soon. Yeah. How hard is it? Happy Thanksgiving to you, too. We'll be right back here in just a few minutes if you want to hang out. We're going to take a real quick, Blake. Blake. We've got black top load, John. Hey, Blake, how you doing? I thought you were covered over tonight. I'm in the middle of the podcast. Get over here. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker: This is here in the back. Quiet. Quiet. Shut up, dude. Calm down, bro. I know you're excited, but damn. You're on break. I can mute the mic. No. Take a real quick break here. Got a little blacktop mojo coming up for you guys. We'll be back here in just a few minutes. Do me a favor and meet your mic. Oh, I do. OK.
Speaker: I'm being pulled by my phononius through clues Look in the mirror with such crystal -clear lucidity Become more aware of my life's beacon, lucidity
Speaker: Oh
Speaker: and we are back welcome back everybody welcome back to nonsense go nonsense I'm Glick hanging out with
Speaker: I want to only thank God they broke the mold when they made him, not because he was made special, but just because he was so goddamn fucked up. Jeffrey. That'd be me. No, at the end of the day, I say - You know, I honestly don't even know if your verses - They broke the mold. They broke the mold when they made me, because, you know, there can only be so many perfect preachers out there. Me and the unicorns. Calm down there, Chief.
Speaker: You and the fucking... Schmeagles. I don't know if your birth certificate says your name is Jeffrey or not, but it's Jeffrey now, so... It's always been Jeffrey. It's spelled... Like, I don't know if that's your... Jeffrey spelled me? Yeah, well, it's... How would you normally spell Jeffrey?
Speaker: Probably J -E -F -F -E -R -Y. It's R -E -Y. As I said, it's spelled weird. And I can't spell it wrong because of that, because I don't use Jeffree unless somebody came over to me. Well, it's not like your name's Giafri. Yeah, well, funny thing is, my name's not even Jeffree.
Speaker: No, that is not your middle name. Jeff's your middle name, isn't it? Yeah, that's correct. It's because I'm technically a junior. My dad's name's David and his dad was named David, so it got confusing, so I just started calling him Jeff. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. I did know that.
Speaker: But if somebody calls me David, I don't fucking answer. Your stories aren't even amusing. Accidentally, Steve Martin plays. Steve Martin. Merry Christmas, you felt it. The funniest part of that scene, of that movie, is Steve Martin on the plane, John Kennedy next to him, John Kennedy starts taking off his shoes and socks and waving his socks around to air them out. And Steve Martin's face is just like, what the fuck are you doing? What the fuck?
Speaker: That and the car burning, holy shit. I lose it every time. I lose it every time that movie cracks me up. I have it on Blu -ray, I have it on DVD, and it's on Netflix, so I'm set to watch it anytime. I've watched that movie maybe so many times. I love John Candy. Jesus Christ. I've even seen Wagons East like three times.
Speaker: nice well as I said welcome back to the show guys if you're not already make sure you check us out on social media and nonsensical nonsense on Facebook Instagram Twitter and tic -tac when we're not banned you can also join us live Wednesdays at 6 and Saturdays at 8 p .m. on HAPS Facebook YouTube Twitch and
Speaker: I think that's it, and Twitter, and Twitter, we are live on Twitter as well. We're on Twitter. Oh, oh, oh, oh, not so good, not so good. And the same thing goes for if you wanna catch every episode of the podcast, feel free to check them out on Anchor, Spotify, Google Play, Apple Podcast, basically anywhere and everywhere you get your little podcast jollies off at. Go give us a like, go give us a share, tell your friends about it if you like what you hear.
Speaker: Hopefully we're getting better and better as we go on. Sometimes I doubt it, but, you know, we try. Give me, give me two seconds. I was, I was doing one thing and I got a fried chicken, so I'll be right back. Jesus Christ. Ow, why my nose is all fucked up tonight. Sorry about that. You know what, yours and mine too. That's another thing I got to blow my nose and I got a paper to blow my nose. Yeah. But, uh, no, you're not going to get on. Ramble for a minute. You guys could.
Speaker: You guys could also email us if you'd like to reach out maybe come on the show We are looking to get into the interview game if you'd interested in sponsoring a bottom feeding Podcast and it's growing and trying to get better as we go then you can always reach us at our email at nonsensical nonsense podcast at gmail .com
Speaker: Now, as I said, we are going to come back in a second hour. I got to figure out how to get the news into the first hour at some point. It's just hard because the first hour, we just kind of spend shooting the shit, bullshitting around. So, you know, maybe we'll keep it in the second hour. We'll have to wait and see what happens. But I do got a little bit of news for you. I don't have my actual sounder. Thanks again, Haps, but I do got this. So listen to this. Listen to this. Okay, listen.
Speaker: I'm going to tell you a couple of stories. It's the neighbors dogs, apparently Joe. So I got some stories, a little bit of this, a little bit of that. Bob, you know the deal. Fire up nonsensical nonsense. One, two, and I think we're going to need three, but keep it on standby. You don't have to feel it up just yet.
Speaker: We're gonna go ahead and jump in nonsensical nonsense number two for this first story actually take that back Bob fire up the jet nonsensical nonsense Number one we're going to Germany
Speaker: No, we, we avoid, we, we avoid the drama and the bullshit and we're just here to have fun. That's all we're doing, man. And we're not changing for anybody. We're not going to all of a sudden just to get more views and like go onto some Christian Jesus freak tie rate, which a lot of people have all of a sudden done this week. But, uh, yeah, we're just going to keep talking. I'm down with Jesus, but you know, I mean, there's a limit.
Speaker: We're gonna continue to be the same nonsensical nonsense that we've always been, that we will always be as long as I can keep Jeff in check. And he doesn't get on his political nonsense. No, Joe, I did not change the dogs. I still have nine. There's four big ones, five little ones.
Speaker: but I told Bob to fire up nonsensical nonsense, our private jet, number one. We're gonna take a little trip here on this first story. I don't think many of the stories get us out of the state tonight, but I got one that's gonna get us out of the state. I don't know how this is gonna sit with some people, but we're going to Germany. Hey! Nine, nine. Guten Tagendel Morgen.
Speaker: Sure, whatever. In Berlin, a man in Germany has discovered the hard way that it's best to get a driving license first before trying to use it.
Speaker: Police in, uh, Birmingham near Cologne said Tuesday that the 37 year old drove himself to his driving test parking parking parking. Funny thing about that. I've done this here.
Speaker: because I have to have a driver's license for here, and I literally drive the car, but here they don't have a driver's test, you actually take a quickie test, and it's like an eye test. It's literally an eye test. And you're like, you're done, go ahead, go drive. I'm like, okay.
Speaker: says he drove himself parking in Opel Zafre outside the test center and in front of an astonished examiner. They said he told police officers who were called to the scene on Monday that he had only driven because he wanted to make sure to get to the driving test on time. His test was immediately called off. The man now faces an investigation for driving without a license,
Speaker: Please also open an investigation of the car's owner. Oh, so he borrowed somebody's car. Yeah, well, hopefully he borrowed it and he didn't steal it. He's like, Bob won't miss this car, I'm taking it. You know, the funny thing, I would never live in Germany. As cool as the Autobahn would be, they're so strict on the modifications you can do to your car.
Speaker: I would get banned by just starting my car. You can barely put different rims on your vehicle.
Speaker: Well, I would love to drive on the Autobahn though. I think it would be pretty cool to do it one time. I would actually kind of like to visit Germany. It's on my, that's from the little bit I know about my family history on the Glick side.
Speaker: Go ahead and ask your question, Cam. And I'll answer it here in a second. Our family comes from
Speaker: Germany in the Germany area. I don't know where from but plus Germany much like England I don't ever have any desire to go to England or really want to go to England But I do want to go there for the the castles and stuff. So I want to go there for the history And as bad as it seems I
Speaker: The first thing I want to see is the concentration camps. How about we not say that and then laugh after we say it? No, but because, because you don't. Okay. It is a third world country. However, however, I live in, in the most Americanized city in Mexico.
Speaker: No, but what I'm saying about the whole concentration camp thing is, is, for instance, Newark, it's not really known for anything, but what, that I can think of, what's, what, what would something like, if you go to New York, what do you want to see? You want to see the Statue of Liberty. Oh, a lot of things you don't see in New York depending upon your taste. Well, yeah, but I mean, but it's, it's like one of the must seek tourist attractions and, um,
Speaker: Somebody did an interview about, they went to Germany for a film and they're like, they got in a cabin and they're like, where do you want to go? Like, we want to see the concentration camps. He's like, well, you know, we got other things. He's like, yeah, we know, we know all that shit. We want to see the concentration camps. We want to see the biggest blunder of any nation in the world. And it's one of those things, it's like,
Speaker: You know, I don't want to go and be disrespectful, being an asshole. I want to go because I want to see it. It is the biggest blunder of any nation or country. You want to see it. I mean, that's kind of like joints in Ireland. Like, I would love to go to Ireland or Scotland, but it's based off the same thing, the history, the castles, the
Speaker: You know, there's just a lot of... It's like if first place I, you know, if I had the money to travel like that, first place I'd go, I gotta go to Transylvania. Tell me you wouldn't go. What's in the Hudson River? That was gonna be my question. I mean, I don't really... Give me Hoffa.
Speaker: I don't know if he's in there. No, Cam, to answer your question, I moved down here with a company and I was working for the company, the company went out of business and I was already dating somebody so I stayed and then I eventually met my wife and getting her back to the states legally and all that shit, it's such a pain in the fucking ass.
Speaker: And so it's just it's just it plus all her families here and Chris you'll you'll contest this 90 % of the time when you're married you live closer to her parents than yours. Nope. You're the exception of the rule. Indeed I am. If a month went by where her mother didn't show up or call I'd think she was dead. Fuck if a week went by and her mother didn't call I'd think she died.
Speaker: Well there's that, I mean. Yeah. And my family, my immediate family, we're not super close, so it doesn't really bother me. And anytime I want, I can just call my mom up. But yeah, living here is actually not so bad, especially with this new job, where my money goes away farther than yours.
Speaker: with the exception of gas. I have to sneeze. Yeah, I was gonna say, he isn't sure. Yeah, it's like, um...
Speaker: Doesn't your gas server like $4 a gallon? Yeah, my gas is $4 a gallon, but right now I don't have a vehicle that runs, so it's no big deal. But at the end of the day, there is that, but at the end of the day, it's like my house, like for instance, a house, two bedroom, two bathroom, Chris, what's the cost by you? Two bedroom, two bath? Yeah, two levels. To buy or rent? To buy.
Speaker: uh depending upon the area in all honesty yeah i mean i could go i could go to the east side of Newark and get one for 75 85 90 000 i could come to the where i live on this side of Newark and the same exact house would be 200 000
Speaker: where my house is in one of the nicest neighborhoods, it's a brand new neighborhood, and brand new house, never been lived in by anybody, 35 grand out the door. That's the big difference. It's weird things that are expensive here. I looked at a 89 S10 yesterday on Facebook, and they wanted like six grand, and I was like, haha, no.
Speaker: But it's certain things like food, holy shit, food is cheap. And food is excellent. And I actually, you know, I also like the fact that I never have to see snow again. We have Mexican in Ohio. It's down the road from the Taco Bell. It's authentic. It's the same thing. It's the same thing. I can also go just a little bit past Taco Bell
Speaker: There's a Mexican restaurant that's literally owned by immigrants that came over years ago and they keep it as literally as authentic as they possibly can. Well, funnily enough, some of the best food I've ever had is not close to me. It's a two -hour flight in Mexico City.
Speaker: They sell sandwiches, they call them tortas, but basically it's a sandwich. It's like a real thick bun, right? It's like a big burger. I kid you not, huge, as big as your head, for like a $1 .50. It's like, holy shit. You know, because I hear the price and I'm like, okay, I'm going to need two of them and they're like, really? And I'm like, well, how big are they? And they show me, I'm like, yeah, one will be enough. And then you eat half of it and then you eat that half for dinner.
Speaker: No. I don't know. What are you talking about? You don't need queso in Mexico. My wife buys cheese like you fucking read about. Walmart can't keep enough fucking cheese to keep my wife happy. Do they make puffy tacos there? No. Puffy? Are you trying to say puppy?
Speaker: Although there was a story a couple years ago of a taco guy, he had like a little street vendor kind of guy. He actually got busted for using dog. But it was in like some podunk fucking town. They're like, where's all the stray dogs? It literally came down to the fact that people were noticing there was less and less stray dogs.
Speaker: He's from Guanajuato. Guanajuato is... I've been there. It's a little bit south of Mexico City. It's about an hour and a half flight, maybe. Nice town. The weird thing about different towns, with the exception of big touristy towns,
Speaker: is if you go to a place like Guanajuato or you go to Puebla, everybody's fucking super nice. It's creepy how nice people are. Well, anyways, we're stuck in Germany before Jeff goes on another goddamn Mexico. Come visit Mexico, PSA. We're right in the middle of fucking news, Cameron. I'm trying to get us sponsored by Mexican tourist bureau.
Speaker: I don't think that's going to go over too well, considering I tell most people not to go there. You can't drink the water. The cartel will kill you. Oh. I've lived in Mexico 20 years. I've never had a problem with anybody. And I don't drink water anyway, so who gives a fuck? You know, it is what it is. We're stuck in Germany while you and this guy over here is probably just trying to
Speaker: This guy over here is probably trying to get out of the States to avoid extradition for some being a creeper at a kid's high school or a kid's elementary school. I was a grossing girl, damn it. Joanne's gonna tell you you're all wrong.
Speaker: I'm the only one that's right about Mexican food. The most authentic Mexican food you can find is a Taco Bell. Oh my God. It's more authentic than what's in Mexico. I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I'm going to get my word from the podcast and get you to fucking say that and just watch her destroy you. Fucking destroy her. She really does not, I would say it to her and she really does not want to die on.
Speaker: She really doesn't want to go toe to toe with me considering all the things that I've learned about her recently. You want to talk about somebody getting completely destroyed and humiliated. Because as we know, between here, the whole brain and the mouth, there's no filter for me.
Speaker: And I would just let her have it, but that's just me looking out for you because that's what I do. Anyways, Bob, fire up the engines. Yeah, where are we going? We're going back to the States. We're leaving Jeff and Germany. We're throwing Cameron in a concentration camp. I wouldn't try to sabotage anything considering the question you asked me the other day, fucker.
Speaker: I'll bring that up here in a little bit. I'll bring that up here in a few. I'm coming back to the States. We're going to Asheville, North Carolina. Police report a restaurant break -in. The suspect consumes beer and ice cream. Chris, what the fuck are you doing? Where were you on the date of?
Speaker: Yeah, I was just going to say Cameron lives right by Asheville. I was going to go see Cameron. I got sidetracked. I was thirsty and I wanted ice cream. What do you mean? He's got beer and ice cream. Fuck. Pitched up. Officers with the North Carolina Police Department appeared to have no trouble finding the suspect.
Speaker: and a break -in possibly because he had a stomach ache. Asheville police say in the news release that patrol officers apprehended the man who broke into a downtown restaurant on Monday and apparently helped himself to some beer and ice cream. According to the news release, officers responded to the business on Patton Avenue after a report of
Speaker: Forcible and breaking and entering. Thank you guys for not using the bad word that I can't say.
Speaker: Yeah, the officers found an open alcohol containers and after a brief investigation, they found the suspect nearby. The man is charged with two counts of larceny after breaking and entering felony breaking and entering. The man was also served with an open warrant for second degree trespass. His bond is set for $3 ,000. Well,
Speaker: Being that it's felony breaking and entering, or felony larceny, that means he ate and drank more than like $2 ,000 worth of shit. Well, depending on what he was drinking, I mean, if he went full on high end. Top shelf. Top shelf. You're already in the shit, you might as well go for the gold.
Speaker: I think exactly. So I mean, again, this is the second time that somebody has broken into a bar. You don't remember what you asked me pertaining to the podcast, Cameron? Shame on you. Then the answer is no. Um, so I mean, maybe I'm not so weird for possibly one day breaking into a bar and
Speaker: Just sit there and waste it. I may do that tomorrow night. The third time somebody's broken to a restaurant or a bar. Well, yeah. Well, no. The one time that was mannequins, it wasn't an actual... The one guy that got drank all the... No. Remember, the one was mannequins. No, we had the one guy that got locked into a... He actually got locked in the bar.
Speaker: We have this guy and I would like to like the burger King and drink the oh, yeah, that was a burger I'm gonna the next news article. I'll be reading is about me cuz I broke into a bar tomorrow Saturday Christmas we're coming to you live from come to you live
Speaker: Live from the dork of the dork city jail Jeff you would have never guess it Jeff you would have never guessed it We are hugely popular in the nerd New York City jail the guards love us the prisoners love us. They treat me like a king here
Speaker: stop it not now bubba i'm in the middle of the show they can see your head they gave me my laptop and mic and everything these guys are great i'm staying here forever i'm tyro's bitch but it's worth it no i am not meanwhile tyro is bringing me some prisoners
Speaker: Your beverage, sir. Thank you, Tyrone. You're a good man, despite what Jeff is saying about you right now. I would not farewell in prison. Although, I think I would get away with a lot more than Mo. Jeff, you would be that guy that...
Speaker: Nobody wants to beat up the guy that makes you bust a gun. No, you would be that guy that you're like I'm gonna go into prison I'm gonna fight the biggest motherfucker I can and I'm gonna rock his shit. You're gonna walk into the luxury of your first day. I'd be the guy doing that thing. Put your dick out, I'm gonna suck it. Fuck! Like 30 guys jump out.
Speaker: I like to say this is the first time this has ever happened to me. But boys, you are in luck. I am experienced. I got a story for you. Sit around, boys. I'm going to tell you a story.
Speaker: Yeah. I think that would be, that would be my biggest defense, my biggest thing. Cameron said he's gonna go break into someplace tonight. There you go, Cam. There you go. Maybe you could be on what the fuck news. There you go. But I think if I ever had to go to prison, that would be my thing. I'd be like, I'm gonna make these fuckers laugh so hard, they don't have time to beat me up or rape me. Good luck with that. He's too funny. Let's just keep him around as like a mascot or something.
Speaker: Or I would do the Steve Zahn thing. What's that movie? National Security with Steve Zahn and... I picture you more of the guy from... What was that movie? We were just like... Tiger Claw! Big Stan. No, not Big Stan. It was the new guy.
Speaker: Yeah, the new guy. P .J. Quill. No, but Martin Lawrence and Steve Zahn. Steve Zahn actually goes to prison because of Martin Lawrence.
Speaker: And the first thing he does is just punch a guard in the face so they give him solitary. And he comes out and you see all these guys, because he's a cop and nobody's just like cracking their knuckles and breaking broom handles. He's like, how much more time do I got? You got another year on your sentence. So he punches the cop again and just walks back into the fucking solitary confinement cell. Closes the door behind him. That'd be me. Yeah, I could see that being more of a thing that you would do.
Speaker: Oh dude, first thing. First thing. What's, what, what could I do to get thrown in solitaire for the longest time? I don't even want wreck time cause I can use a nap. Shit. I can talk to myself more than anything. Right. So Eddie who? Yeah. Yeah. From, from, from, from,
Speaker: Jackasses in Germany driving themselves to to their driving test to get their license. Oh Hold on a second. We're gonna have technical difficulties from the news desk here. Nothing was to work. That's fanfucking testing
Speaker: I had nobody likes to do like white for a second and back to for no reason. No, this is, this is on my, this is on my phone. There we go. I think we're in business now. I think we're back in business. Let's go to our favorite place. Okay. Still Jesus Christ. Has he got the, does he got the, uh, the COVID?
Speaker: How's it going? Uh... Lynn? We're just gonna go with Lynn. Happy Thanksgiving to you too as well. How you doing? Welcome home. Right in the middle of the news. We're gonna go to our favorite place. Bob, Fire Up Nonsense School Nonsense 2. Now that we're back in the States, we're gonna be driving around. Edward Lynn. Okay, there we go. Okay, that's what I thought, but I didn't want to screw it up. We're going down.
Speaker: Butcher, the English language period. Oh, bronchitis, oh shit. We're going to our favorite place, Jeffrey. Okay, we're going to Florida. There it is. Florida. Tampa, Florida. A Florida family is in trouble with their homeowners association for putting up their Christmas lights too early. Fuck you. That's what you get. That's what you get, you son of a bitch.
Speaker: Not until after Thanksgiving. At least after Thanksgiving. And I wait. But I agree. But I but I agree. Fucking HOA. But but fucking HOA. I'm sorry. The aid for a house. Yeah, I should be able to. If I want to, I'll burn the motherfucker down. Yeah. Well, the the Moffat family, the Moffat Moffat family hired a company to decorate the yard of their Tampa home on November 6th.
Speaker: Days later, they received a letter notifying them that they now face a fine for violating their HOA agreement. If they don't remove the lights, they could face fines up to a hundred dollars a day, up to a thousand dollars. The letters, the letters said Maffa said he has no plans to remove the lights.
Speaker: That was their only available... Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
Speaker: You hear this, the salt bae? It's just... Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ching! Ch
Speaker: That was their only availability and I can't climb up on the roof myself. He told TV station adding, he didn't know it was against the rules to put up Christmas lights before Thanksgiving's the holidays and the pandemic. I think the kids are wanting something that's more bright to look at. Maffa said, uh, the attorney, uh, for West chase community association said a neighbor complained, Karen,
Speaker: about the display which led to the community manager, Karen, to investigate it. Jonathan Ellis told WFLA, one of the things they're preventing is from the person that has the holiday lights up all year round or things along those lines, but they're not up all year round. They just put them up at the beginning of Thanksgiving or the beginning of November. Ellis said the rules are a place to be followed.
Speaker: November 6th But they hired a company to come and do it so a lot of companies are behind right now They're you know when they can get you in you got to jump on it because of the pandemic, you know a lot of these companies All out
Speaker: Yeah, but it says Ellis, this is the attorney for the HOA, said the rules are in place to be followed, but the board is open to discussing changes. Moffat said, however, that the association hasn't been receptive even after they offered to keep the lights off until Thanksgiving. So they want to keep the decorations off and they'll keep the lights off. But the. HOA is just being kind of asinine about it, but
Speaker: Yeah. Two more stories here. Well, Edward Lin, as far as questions, as far as life questions go, we kind of try to keep it pretty lighthearted on here. We're not super serious like all the other people on Haps who
Speaker: who want to make things super serious. We just kind of have fun and keep it light hearted. There's nothing, not a personal attack on you. It's very rare that we go serious. But when we do, we go serious. We just like to kind of hang out and have fun. I got two more stories here. These are slightly football related, but not so much that you will glaze over and not understand it. OK. So Bob?
Speaker: Not sensible nonsense to take us to Lincoln, Nebraska. Home of the Nebraska Cornhuskers, big 10 football team, college football. Milton Andrew Munson's obituary recalled his life as an Air Force veteran, a pharmacist, husband, father, and as a Nebraska football fan. That was evident in one line in his obit.
Speaker: In lieu of flowers, please place in a response and a responsibly large wager on Nebraska beating Iowa. Munson, Munson 73 died November 16th. The obit written by Munson's sons, excuse me, ran Thursday in the Haskins Tribune. The Lincoln journal star reported it caught fire on social media and captured the attention of two radio hosts, Josh Peterson, co -host of the Afternoon
Speaker: Sports Talk on K -O -Z -N -A -M in Omaha and Jack Mitchell of K -L -I -N -A -M in Lincoln. They decided to throw in some money and make the bet for the Huskers to pull an upset in Friday night's game in Lincoln. But once word got out, listeners and others pitched in and the total grew to nearly $5 ,000.
Speaker: I mentioned it Monday on the air. Peterson said, we'll talk about it for four or five minutes. He said, here's my Venmo. If you want to donate, it's blown up. Munson's son, Todd told Peter, uh, was on the Peterson's show Tuesday and said the family will give some of the money to the big brothers and big sisters. And they will use some Tibet on the corn Huskers to beat the Hawkeyes who are favored by a point and a half.
Speaker: Todd Munson, a writer who lives in Los Angeles, said he and his brother had a complicated relationship with their father who battled bipolar disorder and addiction, but when they had a conversation, it almost always involved the Huskers.
Speaker: Milton Munson's love for the Huskers and gambling had to be part of his story, said Todd's brother Troy, a neurosurgeon in Des Moines. I would. Nebraska quarterback Adrian Martinez is out for Friday's game, but Todd Munson wrote on Twitter that the Huskers will be getting some help from the others. If the ghost of my old man can't will the Huskers to victory on Friday, then they truly are a lost cause. Now, mind you,
Speaker: The Huskers are not very good this year. No, this game happens Saturday. This game happens Saturday. The Huskers are not very good this year, and Iowa is pretty good this year. I'm going to be pulling for Nebraska this weekend.
Speaker: I think that would be amazing. After a story like that. It would be an upset. Yeah. It would be an upset. And then, you know, maybe people can, you know, maybe the family raised, you know, win a little bit more money and they can donate more to charity. Hell yeah. Well, I mean, at the end of the day, it's, it's also the man's dying wish. You can't. Yeah, exactly. You know, it's like, it's like, well, fuck you. Yeah. I mean,
Speaker: Of course my dying wish is that everybody doesn't burn out of my grave. I want to hear tires popping from hell. Oh, I'm not going to allow it. I'm going to be the sensible one. I'm not going to allow it running up, burning me. Well, those of us, we're going to, we're going to go ahead and leave Nebraska.
Speaker: And we're going to, we're going to, we're going to take a flight up to West Point, New York. Okay. Now this week, this weekend is in college football. If you're a football fan, it is a happy Thanksgiving to you and your family as well. Thank you for hanging out for a few minutes. Appreciate you. Um, so this, this is the rivalry week. You got Ohio state, Michigan, uh, Alabama, Auburn, I think, you know, et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker: But there's one other rivalry game and it's a big rivalry game that a lot of people don't ever really think about because Typically neither one of these teams are any good in college football, but it's one that you know, it's it's kind of a big deal And that is the Army Navy game Well
Speaker: Navy's Navy done army done made themselves look stupid West Point cadets attempting to nab the US Naval Academy's mascot ahead of the annual army Navy football games ended up grabbing a different goat according to a report US military Academy cadets traveled this weekend to a farm near
Speaker: Annapolis, Maryland, that is the home of Navy mascot Bill, who belongs to a long line of goat mascots with the same name. Cadets gave chase to the spook goats, and instead of grabbing Bill number 37, they came away with Bill number 34, a one horned 14 year old retiree, according to the New York Times. West Point officials would not confirm the details of the incident.
Speaker: Tuesday, but they said the animal hat was returned safely and that they were they were investigating those responsibilities The US Military Academy and the US Navy Academy are disappointed by the trust
Speaker: that was broken recently between our brothers and sisters in arms. These actions do not reflect each other's academies core values of dignity and respect. Read a prepared statement attributed by the superintendent, Lieutenant General Darrell A. Williams and vice administrator, or an admiral, maybe, Sean Buck.
Speaker: Well, this is the prepared statement napping mascots is a decade -long service Academic Academy I just had a stroke you're gonna say academia No, I wasn't I just
Speaker: looked at it and had a stroke. As an academy tradition, typically viewed by the perpetrators as a prank, but it has been officially off -limits since the early 90s. In 2018, Army officials at West Point apologized after a Falcon belonging to the Air Force Academy was injured during the prank. The actual Army -Navy game is coming up on December 11th. And that... That's a game.
Speaker: That's like the main rival that you win in the military football games. And that, my friends, is all I have in news for tonight. That was a good one. Well, Dave, he was in the Army, I was in the Navy, and it's a thing. It's the one thing that he and I don't know. Wait, what the hell did you say? Yes, sir. I was in the Navy. You didn't know that, Dave. You didn't know? When did you go in the Navy?
Speaker: Right out of high school. What? I actually was in the Navy when we graduated. I was in what's called the delayed entry program. Basically, I got paid to go to high school for the last six months of high school. My job was after I would get done, when I got done in school, I would go to the recruiting office and make phone calls.
Speaker: That was my job in the Navy. And then the day after I graduated, I shipped off to boot camp. Yeah, I didn't know that either because... So what'd you do, like two years and then you came back and went to Mexico? Yeah. Pretty much. Well, I didn't know that. Well, the thing with the Navy was is I enjoyed the travel.
Speaker: I hated getting yelled at, and I got yelled at a lot. I did more push -ups than Polly Shulburn. I believe it. Yeah, because, well, the funniest thing ever, you're standing at attention and drill sard is yelling at someone else, and it's not you. Yeah. And he's ripping into this motherfucker like he just fucking, he did something stupid. And it's usually something,
Speaker: that you wouldn't think about is stupid until you really can't think about it. And it's the hardest thing not to fucking laugh. When he's calling this guy a fucking moron, even though they're not supposed to single out, but they'll sing a lot anyways, and if you'd laugh, you're next in line to get yelled at. And I'd be right next to you or right behind me every fucking time, and I'd start giggling.
Speaker: Jeff what was your rate? I didn't know you were a vet. Rate or rank? It was rank. Well I was an E3.
Speaker: Fair enough. I don't even know what any of that means, but. Fireman second class. But. Let's let's take a real quick. Actually, let me do this this time instead of sticking with my phone. We're going to take a real quick break and come back. I have not one. Not one, Jeffrey. But two. Yeah.
Speaker: top 10s for you tonight because they are Thanksgiving related and when I was looking up one I seen the other and I was like I gotta do these together because they'll be from Good housekeeping because I enjoyed them. Well, the good housekeeping one was good that asshole The good housekeeping one was good No, the dessert was awesome. Yeah
Speaker: And speak, speak to my cranberries should be higher on rank shot. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that guy's list was fucking stupid or that lady's list. I don't know. Either way, they, I want to punch whoever worked that list in the face. But, um, we're gonna take a real quick break here. And then when we get back, uh, like I said, I got not one, but two top tens. And I actually, uh, had
Speaker: have something to say about the top 10s and kind of get your opinion so I'll get your opinion when we come back or I could have just not said anything at all to you and just done whatever I wanted to do so there's that
Speaker: Smartass. You forget who hosts this show. Well, at the end of the day, at the end of the day, pretty much everything on the top 10 I have something to say about it. I mean, that's what makes the top 10 in the news so good is because we literally play off each other and we go on. I mean, today's news, we didn't really go on a major ramp when we did it. Well, today's news wasn't too... It wasn't too eventful, but it was interesting.
Speaker: Just some fun stories I found and I mean I have more trust me there was there was quite a bit. Fortunately, good. Nothing. Nothing was so long. Yeah. King Glick is the host. You can you can put your your life questions in the comments if you would like Edward Edward. We're not saying you can't it's just we will. We'll take it seriously pop. Yeah.
Speaker: But, um, well, we might make fun of you, but depends on the question. No. Oh, imagine that we got a, uh, ad before, but, uh, yeah, let's go ahead and grab a real quick break guys. We'll be right back. Uh, got coming back with the top 10 list and then.
Speaker: more bullshit shenanigans and whatever else happens. And we'll end the show when we end the show. Well, I do want to jump off as not crazy early, but I want to jump off because the new Hawkeye's out. You're going to watch his family. Oh, yeah, I do want to watch that. I seen that was streaming. Check it out.
Speaker: Yeah, shoot me a message, Cameron. We'll probably go maybe just a smidge over three hours with that. I was planning on about three hours tonight. Yeah, I figured as much. But we'll be right back, guys. Enjoy a little blacktop mojo with one of their covers. I think we might be deep enough in here that we won't get hit with a muting of our video. Don't hold your breath. No, trust me, I don't.
Speaker: I don't ever hold my breath when it comes to Facebook. Alright, we will be right back. We got a slow intro, slow intro. Matt's walking around the streets. He's looking out over the city. Now he's got his guitar. He's walking up to the wall. He's gonna open his guitar. And once he starts singing, we don't know this song instantly. He fucking kills this song.
Speaker: Here's the cover. There we go. We'll be right back, guys.
Speaker: What did you expect to find? Was it something you left behind? Don't you remember anything I said? Don't fall away and leave me to myself. Don't fall away.
Speaker: my hands.
Speaker: I hold her now, I feel contagious And I'm not the only place that you want to go She cries in laughter's light So I'm moving black and white Now I have this vacant light Over and over and over again She cries, don't fall
Speaker: Don't fall away, and leave me to the rest. Don't fall away, and leave life bleeding in my hands, in my hands again. Leave life bleeding in my hands, in my hands. Love life bleeding.
Speaker: And I watched as you turned away You don't remember what I do You never even tried
Speaker: Don't fall away Leave me to myself Don't fall away Leave my bleeding in my hands And my hands again Leave my bleeding in my hands
Speaker: in my hands again and leave love bleeding in my hands in my hands again and leave love bleeding
Speaker: All right. And we are, I am back. What happened to Jeffrey? Okay. We'll see if we can get Jeffrey back in here. What the fuck? I just did. Hey, good. I messaged you, Cameron. I just did. So let me see. She'll show you invited. Let's see if we can get Jeffrey back in here for the top 10. Shall we?
Speaker: Apparently he had some issues. I was, I had about eight different things going on. Excuse me. During that break, I'm trying to, yeah, he said his, his haps are frozen. I was trying to help a buddy of mine with his fantasy football. Um,
Speaker: as well as doing the live. We'll see if, oh, here he is. Hold on a second, he's hanging out backstage. Well, three, two, one, here comes Jeffrey. You got your backstage pass? Are you allowed back into the VIP area? Yeah, I fucking, I set my headphones down to go fried chicken and I hit something on the keyboard and my hats froze.
Speaker: And I got my number lock on, so I tried to message you when I got back on to check your snap. And I set the number lock on. I can't remember how to turn the fucker back off. You fucking dummy. Well, welcome back. Yeah, there it is. There, I turned the number lock off. It's because when I'm working, I use an external keyboard.
Speaker: And it's got, you know, it's got the number pad. So I turned the number lock on for that. And it messes up the keyboard. And I forgot to turn it off. I disconnected to move upstairs. So yeah, it's shit. So normal. It happens. Yeah. It was like, I got a message from the, you know,
Speaker: windows saying, you can wait or exit page. And I was like, I hit wait three times and I was like, you know what, you're sending your Snapchat real quick. Yeah, I sent you Snapchat real quick. Fucking something happened with Habs, I had to exit out. So, yeah. Well, as I was saying, I seen you Snapchat me and I was like, why the hell is he Snapchatting me?
Speaker: This is weird. It was like it really set my headset down. When I came back, it was said, hold. Yeah. Why? What's it? I'll have to tell you when we get off here. I ain't fucking worried about that. You know better than that, Cameron. Cameron just sent me a message about something that we were talking about earlier with, damn you, Jeff, if you don't
Speaker: Kill Facebook on your ass. You'll kill Facebook on your god damn ass! But uh... No, I was saying during the break because you Snapchat me and I was like, why the hell is he Snapchatting me? And I was still trying to help my buddy from work with his fantasy football because... Oof. Oof.
Speaker: That's all I gotta say. He needs a running back. The choices, again, much like watching Chicago and Detroit play tomorrow, you better off just punching yourself in the dick. Because his choices are bad. That's the one thing I don't have to worry about tomorrow. I don't have to figure out what game to watch. The game I'm gonna watch is me playing Call of Duty.
Speaker: I'm actually waiting for Friday like you read about. I want to get a VPN so bad. Oh, you're just waiting. Yeah, you're waiting for Friday because you get paid Friday. Well, that, you know, I want to get a VPN because I can actually, I don't know how much you know about a VPN, but you can basically change where you're sick. You can change your location. Yeah, your location. Thank you. And I want to switch it over to wherever, you know, I want to watch
Speaker: some fucked up shit. From my understanding, there's a lot of shit that I don't get on my Netflix that the States does have, like classic movies. And I'm a classic guy, so it's like, fuck. You're fucking douche is what you are. On my Netflix, I don't know about you and your Netflix, but my Netflix, there's so many Indian shows
Speaker: I get a lot of Indian and Russian and I'm like oh that looks really good and I click on it to see the trailer and I'm like I want to watch it I don't want to read a fucking book. Exactly.
Speaker: You know, because it's all subtitled. So I at least let me dub it. Yeah, I don't care if they're even saying it horribly wrong. I don't give a damn if the guys can understand the concept. Yeah. If the guy was like, you raped my wife and murdered my children. And now I'm here to kill you. And then they dub it over with.
Speaker: You took all my money and stole my car. You took my car and now I'm here to identify it. Oh, I don't care. I just want to watch the fucking movie. Anyways, let's... Oh, Jeff, I don't have it. Hey, Mitch. Your top 10? Oh, no. Yeah. No, I was going to play the... Oh, there it is.
Speaker: No, I have my top ten I was looking for my sounder So since tomorrow is Thanksgiving at least for those of us in the States one of them one of the main staples one of the one of the like It's not Thanksgiving without the Macy's Day Parade, right?
Speaker: So with that being said, I decided to look up a top 10 list. I love the Macy's Day Parade. It was a tradition. Every Thanksgiving morning, I would get up early with my kids and watch the parade. It was just something that we enjoyed to do together, which I haven't got to do the last couple of years, but that is what it is. Hopefully one day, again, I'll get to be able to do that.
Speaker: And I'll do that with them until they're old and have their own kids. And when they have their own kids and the grandbabies are over there, then we'll get everybody up and we can all watch the parade together because that's how much I enjoy it. I don't think I've ever watched the Mason's Day Parade.
Speaker: Really? And as a 40 year old man I'll be watching the Macy's Day Parade tomorrow and I will get excited at the end of the parade because we all know the last person who shows up at the end of the parade is the one and only Mr. Santa Claus. That is true. I do know that. So I will get excited and as a 40 year old man tomorrow I'll be watching the Macy's Day Parade all alone but I will get excited when Santa shows up. But with that being said I decided to do the first of the two
Speaker: the top 10 Macy's Day Thanksgiving Day parade balloons. So coming in at number 10 on this list is, Jesus Christ. Oh, there we go. It's the one and only the Pillsbury Doughboy. He's the king of Thanksgiving crust and rolls is
Speaker: It is only right he kicks off this list. I can, I can be down with that. I see that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I've always wanted to, I've always wanted to have a Pillsborough Doughboy plushie, like, you know, a stuffed animal. I think we cool. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Number nine on the list. Generations of children.
Speaker: I have loved playing with this toy and it has been a favorite toy for multiple generations. Mr. Potato Head and yes to all you woke snowflakes. It's Mr. Potato Head.
Speaker: Potato Head. And they even have kids. Do they really? I was just going to say, that's awesome. It was like Junior Potato Head or something like that. There was kids. Number eight on the list. This goes way back to the early beginnings and yes, this is kind of a terrifying float.
Speaker: But this goes way back to the very early beginning of the Macy's Day Parade. One of the first floats was Pinocchio. What does it look like? I would have never guessed that. And he's number eight.
Speaker: I would have guessed Snoopy. This float, well, this float goes back to Macy's beginnings, so back in the 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 50s, 50s, something like that. I don't know how long the Macy's Day Parade has been around, to be honest with you. 90 years. Wow. 90, no. You listen to her going, I don't know, and then you read it, and you're like, oh, shit. So no, actually, this list is actually five years old.
Speaker: Regardless it is what it is. It's still a cool list so 95 years 95 years So yes in the 20s or 30s So imagine what a balloon looked like oh
Speaker: this is a this is a this is a balloon of a of Pinocchio and it's like it's got a normal person's body and he's like going ah but then he's got this gigantic fucking you know big potato looking nose have you seen the videos of those balloons getting away from the people holding them because you know some of them blues got like 40 50 people holding onto them go ahead and pump your brakes on that
Speaker: Yeah, okay. Because even on an episode of Friends, Snoopy gets away from the holders. Number seven on the list. He's timeless. He's green. And larger than life. Mr. Kermit the Hrog. Okay, okay. I seriously thought you were going to say Shrek though. No! Well, because I don't think a Kermit is large.
Speaker: He's a balloon. He's a giant fucking balloon. I get what you mean by larger than life. Well, I mean, as a personality. When you think about Kermit the Frog, the dude is like this. Yeah. But larger than life, as a personality, as a persona, as a character, he is larger than life. Because it's not easy being green. It's not easy being green. If my nose wasn't stuffed up, I would embarrass myself because I do one impersonation that I think I do very well, and I think I pull off Kermit the Frog.
Speaker: Oh man, I'm so pissed. I'm gonna remember that one and you're feeling better. I don't know why, but we're both stuffed up. Yeah, I don't know what's going on. I felt great all day today that I got home with, what, number six. Yeah, go ahead. What were you gonna say? I was gonna say, you know, when you start a new job, you usually get sick because you're around people, you haven't been around. I can't use that as an excuse. I still haven't left my house. So I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me.
Speaker: Number six on the list is America's favorite Beagle at a holiday icon in his own right. I love my Snoopy. There he is, Snoopy, the Red Baron. Yes, I still listen to this day. I have on my playlist the Snoopy versus the Red Baron. Charlie Brown's best friend in the whole world.
Speaker: Speaking of Charlie Brown, Charlie Brown, will he finally kick that football? I tune in every year just to see number five, Charlie Brown. Hell yes. And why he has not drop kicked that little bitch. I would have drowned that bitch by now. I'd be like, you know what? Let's go swimming. I was like, oh, I'm just playing. Oh, shit. Yep. The number four on the list. Oh, shit, Chuck.
Speaker: Pops is stuffed up. He's got bronchitis Number four on the list and this is actually another conversation that I can do quite well to sometimes I
Speaker: This is an old float going back into the day. Then right around probably the time Pops and Joe were kids. The one and only Mews and Squirrel. Oh yes. Bullwinkle. Hey Rocky watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat. My father every time. And I can do a Bullwinkle. Number three on the list. I look like Rocky all the time so it's another good one.
Speaker: The Raccoon? Or the Five Squirrel? Rocky's the Five Squirrel. Yeah, Rocky's the Five Squirrel. I can do that because I sound like that, motherfucker, because he's got a high -pitched voice. Yeah. Yep, Joe watched them all the time. See, because they're so... Number three on the list. Sorry, Hello Kitty fans. He's the best cat in the parade. He hates Mondays and loves his lasagna. The one and only Garfield. Fucking Garfield. I do love Garfield. Yes.
Speaker: H. Nirmal. Males are da Abu Dhabi. I literally... I don't know about you. I've always been a huge fan of Garfield. I love Garfield. The stuffies that stick on your window in the car. Yeah. But... Numbers. Yeah, the Garfield style. I love Garfield movie. The Garfield movie made me want to shoot myself. That wasn't that bad. It was cute for what it was.
Speaker: You remember the Garfield cartoon? Oh yes. That was on like Saturday mornings when we were kids? It's on Disney. It's on YouTube. My kids watch it on YouTube. I'll have to see if I can find the original because I did remake it a few years back and it was not as good. The original Garfield cartoon was really good. Number two on the list. It kind of hurts that he's not number one. He's not a balloon.
Speaker: But I don't want to be on the naughty list. And number two is Santa. It's more of a float, but, you know, they gave Santa the number two spot. So who got number one? Number one. I hear it now. He's not a balloon either. How could he beat Santa? Easy. It's the Thanksgiving Day Parade and it's Tom the Turkey. Okay. Okay. Cause it's Thanksgiving Day Parade. It's not the Christmas Parade, so I get that. But,
Speaker: Yeah, the cartoons, the Sunday paper, the books. Remember, Joe, I don't know if you remember, but I think Jackie and I used to get the Garfield comic books from the library all the time. Well, I know I did. I used to get the Calvin Hobbs books, too. Oh, yeah. Calvin Hobbs was good, too. That's my second favorite cat. Yeah. All of the cat speed bumps. Now, I got to fry some chicken real quick. And these are not in any particular order. This next stop, Penrose.
Speaker: But I got another top 10 this week, buddy. No, I'll go ahead and ramble real quick. But Joe, my dad used to get the paper. And I would say the same thing. You know, I'm sure all kids did this. Like, give me the comics. I love the comics. Like, I even like that Cathy chick. That chick hated everything. But I was like, I'm down with Cathy. I'm running Cathy.
Speaker: But my favorite is Family Circus. I love that shit that cracks me up. Cowan Hobbs and Family Circus. Because there was just one frame and it was like the far side. They never had far side in the comics. In the newspaper, did they? Yeah, they did. Did they? Now, as a grown ass adult, one of the first things I didn't.
Speaker: when I moved out our senior year when I moved into my own apartment was get a a subscription to the Columbus Dispatch so you can read the comics and I got it I got it I got it seven days a week I read I read two I read two pages in the Columbus Dispatch I read the sports page yeah and I read the comics and on Sundays it was the best because you got some news because Sundays yeah on Sundays you got the
Speaker: Yeah, I remember that. Yeah, colored comics, maybe a hall of color. I love it. They'd be a color. They'd be a longer. You had like four pages of comics. Ted, like our kids don't get that. Like, I would love it. Like, I don't know if you've seen the, uh, the YouTube videos of kids trying to use a rotary phone. Yeah. Oh my God.
Speaker: It's the same thing with comics. It blows their fucking minds. I'd love to sit my kids down and go, this is how we got the news. Because I watch the news every day on YouTube from the day before. And my kids are like, are you watching your news? I'm like, yeah, OK. And I want to bring home a paper one day and be like, this is how we used to get the news. This is why dad's more informed now than he used to be. Yeah, right? I digress.
Speaker: Yeah. I mean, it was kind of cool getting the paper. I mean, even though I only read a couple sections out of the paper, but... Yeah, but it makes you feel like an adult. It's one of those things, like, one of the first things I got when I moved to my first apartment was order the newspaper. I usually just line the bathroom with it for the dog, but whatever.
Speaker: Well, there's that. Yeah, that was the best part about it. Um, but my second top 10. Okay. Like I said, this is not in any particular order. Okay. But you can't have the top 10 Macy's day balloons
Speaker: of all time without including the all -time the ten all -time macy's day thanksgiving parade fails nice nice and again this is in no particular uh it's just random order uh order this is just a this is a list of ten of the of their most epic fails uh i'm gonna go ahead and list them from ten through one
Speaker: I'm just going to go 10 through 1. This comes from Yahoo Entertainment. So it's not like it's some schlub who writes an article and thinks he's important on his blog. Like that Alex Prick. Three people read him. I wouldn't make fun of not having many viewers or listeners or readers. No, I get that. But at least we have people at common. Yeah.
Speaker: But I'm just gonna go, I'm just gonna say Ted through one, it's not in any particular order. You can feel free to rate them however you guys would like. But number 10 is cat in a hat balloon hits a lamp post and injures a woman. In 1997, the cat in a hat balloon hit and broke a lamp post. A rogue piece of the metal fixture flew and hit a woman in the head, fracturing her skull.
Speaker: New York Post reported at the time she spent a month in the coma and later sued Macy's. How much do you think she sued Macy's for in damages? 100 grand minimum. You are. Let's raise the bar a lot higher. Really? She sued Macy's for 300.
Speaker: I was going to say, well, now that you kind of gave it away, but my question was, like, did she win the lawsuit? I don't know if she won the lawsuit or not. It just said that she sued Macy's for three hundred and ninety five million dollars in damages.
Speaker: I'm sure Macy said, I'm sure Macy, she's still got, no, I would be willing to bet she still got several millions of dollars. And I mean, zero millions of dollars, but she didn't get 400 million. No, that's either way, though. I wonder where she got that number.
Speaker: She had some lawyer that said hey, we're gonna throw this out there and they'll settle for 150 million out of court Yeah, we'll hit him with 395 it makes you said we'll give you 200 million and they're like, okay Wait
Speaker: Macy's like really she's like I Don't know anything really let's find out I was gonna ask me I mean I mean if I think I mean I'm sure they are worth How much is Macy's worth? It's $9 ,950 ,000 Wow
Speaker: I feel like they're worth more than $9 million. Well, that's their market cap. $9 billion? You said billion? I thought you said million. You said billion. Their shares are at $32 .14 a share. That's not terrible. But it's also dropped 4 .5 % today. Now's the day to buy.
Speaker: tomorrow. I predict it'll jump at least by three points by tomorrow. Oh no, as of November 23rd, as of November 23rd, 2021 Macy's is valued at $10 .42 billion. Yeah. So they can afford it. I would have never guessed that. So 400, so 400, 400 millions of scratch in the ass. Yeah. They're like a chicken feed ticket.
Speaker: Yeah. Number nine on this list, going way back in the day, even before pops was born, not necessarily your pops, because your pops was probably like 23 at this time. In 1957, Popeye, the sailor man's hat collected so much rainwater that it filled up, filled up and weld.
Speaker: It had to go somewhere, so it dumped onto unsuspecting parade goers beneath it. You imagine, you're like, yeah. You're like, oh man, the parade is awesome. Look, there's Popeye. It's obviously raining, so I'm sure these people had umbrellas or ponchos or something, but still, there's a lot of fucking water.
Speaker: Yeah, but your umbrella and poncho is not catching all that water. But yeah, I mean, and that much water. I mean, I've never stood underneath a waterfall. It's like a fucking ton of bricks. Mm hmm. It's one of my favorite years. Ah, yeah. Number number eight.
Speaker: Number eight the uncle Sam Yeah, well I was summer's message to me and then I've got nobody from work messaging me The uncle number eight the uncle Sam and spider -man incident of 2012 I
Speaker: Who could forget this hilariously awkward and not suitable for something NSFC not safe for viewing FC FC not suitable for children
Speaker: I think you're right because this is what happened between Spidey and Uncle Sam in 2012. Somebody got it up the mud. The night before the parade, that's when they inflate the balloons and get them ready for the next day's festivities. These two balloon pals shimmied together and somehow Spider -Man's face accidentally got up close and personal with Uncle Sam's butthole.
Speaker: And it wasn't what it looked like. But it did look like that. Look, Spider -Man was tossing Uncle Sam's salad when Spider -Man was doing it. Well, have you ever seen that show, Modern Family? Yeah. Well, the two gay guys have two giant stuffed animals on top of their
Speaker: roof of their Prius and their daughters in the back. And one of them is talking to somebody telling them that they're normal people and everything. We're really tranquil people. And the other dad is sitting there tapping the brakes, hitting the gas, and it literally looks like two stuffed animals are helping the shit out of each other. That kind of concept. But yeah, I've seen - You were more than 57 years older than Pops, Joe? I thought you were younger than Pops.
Speaker: Where's Popsburn? 58. My dad's way older than you guys because my dad used to drive a 57 Chevy like it was a hammy down. Like I said, your dad was 23 in 57. It would not surprise me. Well, and this number, what the fuck number am I on? 7?
Speaker: Yeah, seven, seven. This is the only balloon that makes the list twice. Makes a double appearance. Makes both lists. On the two for tonight. Oh. Yeah, double appearance on the two for tonight. Yes, sir. Kermit the Frog. This one gives new meaning to the phrase, it's not easy being green.
Speaker: hovering six stories high and 24 feet wide at his best in 1985 the Kermit balloon suffered a rip in his belly region and begin to deflate causing him to sink down dangerously to the crowd the people holding on to suffocate underneath one of them balloons yeah yeah and so yeah poor Kermit Kermit is the only one to to uh make it on the list twice
Speaker: Number six, this is a favorite of you and I. Okay. Also in 1985 in the same parade, this was not a good day for the Macy's day parade. The Superman balloon suffered a loss of a limb. One of the balloons arms ripped off causing the remainder, the remainder, remainder of the severed appendage to dangle loosely.
Speaker: It's frayed edges blowing in the wind. I just looked up my dad's birth year. And I was going to say this is a joke. I was going to say 49, but it's actually 48. Oh my god. I was going to be like, oh yeah, who's born 49? But it's actually 48. Holy crap.
Speaker: I literally sent my mom a message. I was like, hey, what year was dad born? And then I was like, oh yeah, he's on Facebook. Which is an odd concept for me, because my dad can't even turn on his phone half the time. You know what it happens. All these fucking numbers throwing around. Oh, that's hilarious. Coming in at number five, Macy's Epic Fails.
Speaker: Sonic the Hedgehog injures an off -duty cop According to the New York Times in 1993 the Sonic the Hedgehog balloon hit a lamppost at wait at West 58th Street and Broadway a piece of the lamppost fell and landed on an off -duty Sophoc County police captain something Whatever Sophie Suffolk Joe foot Joseph D
Speaker: kissing her, breaking his shoulder. Did he sue? He got off a lot better than the lady who ended up in a fucking coma. Granted, she's also got like 200, 300, 400 million dollars. She's got plenty of money. Well, it states that this is a common theme for this. You know, lampposts, you would think they'd be like, hey, you know, it's 2021, maybe we should
Speaker: take these fuckers out for the day, I'm sure. Yeah, right? Or make them, make new ones that are collapsible or something. Or yeah, make shorter lamp posts, something, I don't know. Or get some bigger strings. Well, they hover pretty high off the ground, if memory serves. Well, I mean, Kermit was 24 stories high. That's huge. So most of the floats are in that general area, if not higher.
Speaker: Well in 1993, Rex the Dinosaur's nose caught a traffic light and ripped it open. But in case you were wondering, no, this is not Rex the Dinosaur from Toy Story.
Speaker: He didn't make his Macy's Day Parade debut for another two years. This Rex, who is reddish -orange color rather than green, is from the 1993 animated film We're Back, a Dinosaur Story. This motherfucker popped! Like, he ripped his face off, and he popped! Well, they don't pop. They're made of... Oh, did he? Not pop, like you think of balloon pops, though. Yeah, like a balloon pop. He popped.
Speaker: I actually watched the video on this. I was looking at the videos of some of these. He popped. When it ripped, it didn't explode, but he... He shot out a shit ton of hair, right? Well, these are made out of heavy duty. They're not made out of rubber like a balloon. They're made out of almost like a tarp that you would put over your truck or something.
Speaker: Well, it's like a it's like a rubber plastic material. Yeah. Yeah. Like a bouncy house style. Like a bouncy house style. Probably not. Probably not. Some of these you have to remember. Some of these fuckers. This was 93. Yeah, but 93 is not that long ago. Popeye was 1957. The newest one on here has been Spider -Man eating Uncle Sam's ass.
Speaker: And I was in 2012 I mean you got the cat -and -hat in 97 Popeye in 57 Spider -man uncle Sam Assie in an incident was 2012 Kermit was 85 Superman was 85 Sonic was 93 Rex was 93 again 93 and 85 were not good years well, I mean I saw a video about
Speaker: About a balloon getting away from people and it was like oh, yeah Literally guys there was there was a he just really refused to let go and it lifted him like two stories off the ground There was a list there was there was a whole list for those ones that got away with high wids and stuff like that number Three on the list, okay
Speaker: Yet another dinosaur in trouble. This time it was in 94 when Barney suffered a critical hit from a lamp post, tearing his side and deflating him. Another one bites the dust. Once again, common denominator is a fucking lamp post. Yes. Oh wait. Number two, the M &Ms balloons, the red and yellow M &Ms who become synonymous and famous with the ads. Yep.
Speaker: M &M balloons collide with a street light in 2005. Yet another collision occurred this time with a street light and an M &M balloon. Part of the street light broke and fell injuring two sisters. How much did they get? Because that lady set a precedent.
Speaker: I would be curious to know what the off duty cop and the two sisters got. And number one on this list, well not necessarily number one, but number one as I listed them, you guys can rank them however you want. In 2006, yet another lamp post once again had the last laugh when it came face to face with Nickelodeon's beloved undersea dweller Spongebob.
Speaker: Though he is porous in theory, his balloon form is sadly not immune to being punctured. So a top 10 list, eight of the 10.
Speaker: Incidents, epic fails, as they said, were street lights related. The other two was the rain coming down and filling Popeye's head. And the other one was Spidey eating Uncle Sam's ass, eating that booty like groceries. So there you have it folks. I hope the twofer was worth it. I couldn't resist. It was one of those things where
Speaker: You couldn't have one without the other at the end of the day because they just, you know, they go so well together. And tomorrow's Thanksgiving. So I wanted to wrap up my Thanksgiving list as if you guys haven't noticed, there's, there's kind of a theme in my top 10 list. So, so starting Saturday, we're going to wait until December next week. Next week we'll do some Christmas, uh,
Speaker: theme top 10. So the only thing about Christmas is that I can have fun with Christmas and not necessarily stick with the run of the mill, like, oh, your favorite Christmas decoration, your favorite Christmas present, blah, blah, blah. We can do movies and so much with Christmas. So I was just saying that there's usually a theme with my top 10s. And last month we had Halloween, this month we did Thanksgiving for pretty much all my top 10s.
Speaker: and now we get to roll into Christmas. And obviously, the obvious is we're obviously gonna have top 10 Christmas movies of all time. Obviously top 10 most wanted toys at Christmas time, tickle me, Elmo's going to be on there. Gaming systems will be on there. This, that, and the other thing. And then we'll see what else kind of fun I can have with Christmas. But speaking of top 10s and speaking of doing top 10s,
Speaker: Cameron asked me today or yesterday. I think it was yesterday if he could possibly come on and do top tens and I Told you I said, you know, I gotta bring it up to Jeff and we could talk about it I said, but you can't come don't come lame because I've already fired Jeff. Yeah, I've already fired Jeff and I already fired pops and
Speaker: Yeah, I didn't I didn't pops pops is on a Pops is on a yeah pops pops pops is on a sabbatical. He's trying to find himself He read he played love he read that book he prayed love and just went to India Yeah, so, you know, I think I think I think I probably I mean not to brag or anything like that and
Speaker: Pat myself on the back and stroke my ego off.
Speaker: Top 10 sports watched in America number one two and three cricket tennis and golf
Speaker: That was a good list, though. It brought up a good conversation. That was a terrible list. That was a terrible list. It brought up a good conversation? You got fired. That was a terrible list. And if we were closer, I would stone you like we were in the biblical stages. Did I really get fired or did I just not want to do the top 10? No, I fired you. I fired you. And if we lived in biblical times, I would stone you to death. I would have stoned you to death. That list was blasphemy.
Speaker: Well, it's not like you have many responsibilities. Your responsibility on here is to turn your fucking camera on and show up on time. I just give you your show and movie just because it gives you something to talk about. Because typically those are bad too.
Speaker: But as I was saying, I couldn't do one list without the other tonight. They were both so good. And they both popped up. When I looked up top 10 best Macy's Day floats, and it was like best floats, fail floats, or best floats, fails, best floats, fail. And that's how it went everywhere as you scroll.
Speaker: Right, so it's like picking your favorite child. Yeah, it was like, all right, I gotta find a good list. And I actually looked at lists. Like one had, number one, they had Pikachu as the number one best fucking Macy's float of all time. I was like, I don't know who wrote this, but they deserve to die to because. That's the hill I will die on that I cannot stand the anime.
Speaker: No, but I'm sorry, I find it fucking boring as shit. My wife loves anime and Pokemon and Dragon Ball and all that, and I'm like, ugh, is there anything else on anything?
Speaker: I will watch all the Home Alones and all the bad sequels to any fucking series. Just don't think we watch that shit. I don't think that's a hill you're gonna die alone though on there brother. I think there's a lot of people that are gonna get up on that hill and more than likely we're not gonna die. So I think you're good. Just because. I get the concept of like you like something so much but I don't know how many people can like that.
Speaker: Granted, I've only seen it in Spanish, so it's okay. You watch Japanese anime, that's typically in Japanese or whatever, and they dub it for English in Spanish. Yeah. Well, it's because my wife grew up on it, is her excuse. And my thing every time I say it, that's not an excuse, that's just bad taste.
Speaker: Oh, my nose is fucking killing me. Oh, I should have brought this up in the beginning part of the show when we were just brambling bullshit. Did you see that post? Did you see Summer's post yesterday? Oh, I saw it today. I actually commented on it.
Speaker: Yeah. Chris and I are done. He's left me or whatever. And I literally put up a picture, I put up a GIF of Grogu and then underneath it, drama, drama, drama. And I was like, and the GIF says, sitting back and watching the drama unfold. Well, it was funny because I had no idea she was doing that. It wasn't planned at all. No, the GIF of the dude,
Speaker: I lost it. I lost it. Yeah. The thing was she dyed her hair yesterday. Okay. And she dyed it black. And I told her because she's got some pictures where she had black hair and it does not look good. She does not look good with black hair. And I told her, I was like, if you ever dye your hair black again, I'm breaking up with you. I see. And I'm going to hit you in the face with a brick.
Speaker: It was like that ticker. So my wife told me today, she doesn't love me. I didn't say that. I said, you could buy ribs for the truck. What's the difference? I don't know if that's, is that anime joke? I don't know. Um, but, uh, I've never heard of it. The names are so stupid. Like, like we didn't talk about that shit or anything. She just posted it. And I was like, at first I was like, what the heck?
Speaker: And then I just was like, all right, I'm gonna play along. We were Snapchatting and she's like.
Speaker: People like I guess I guess her people were obviously you see what was happening in the comments But I guess she was getting messages that people are losing their shit And the fact that and the fact that you just play We really are like we really are on tick -tock that's the thing like on tick -tock and it's like her family like we're that couple, you know And we always have it so it's like
Speaker: She's like, and you played all I was like, do you expect anything less from me? No, but I didn't I didn't tell her I was like stop making me out to be the fucking bad guy Like she posted that picture of her hair in the way it looked Like she said something but I was like stop making me out to be a dickhead because at the end of the day I was Like a douche a lot of times Yeah, well at the end of the day
Speaker: I was trying to be encouraged. I was like, don't worry. It looks bad now. After a couple of days, after you wash it, after it dries. She did this thing and it looks good and you're like, it'll be fine. No, no, no, no, no. Once it grows out. No, no, no, no, no. She didn't mean to go, she didn't mean to go black. She was trying to go brown. Oh, okay. And it turned out black. I was like, you know, she was in panic mode. She was freaking out and I was like, don't worry about it. Parker was in panic mode too. He called me.
Speaker: He was like dad Mom didn't mean to because he was like he told his friend that because his friend was like you should dye your hair black and Parker was like
Speaker: Mom can't dye her hair black because if she does, my dad's gonna break up with her. But he called me on his own, and it was like trying to stick up for her and everything. It was adorable. It was adorable because - He's like, don't leave. He's doing the right thing. He's sticking up for his mom, and that's what he should do. It was really cute.
Speaker: But I was you know, like she was in panic mode. She was freaking the hell out So I was like don't worry. It doesn't look that bad, you know after a couple days It'll lighten up once you watch it a few times like I'm being a good supporter Yeah, like I was trying to be a good Supportive Beyonce and I was encouraging her I wasn't being mean I wasn't making fun of her which I could have Anything like that and then she makes a post she's like my hair even though Chris thinks that I'm ugly and he
Speaker: He hates me and I'm like, why are you having me a dick? I literally haven't been on Facebook all week. I jumped on it today.
Speaker: for like five minutes. I saw that and I was like, wait, what the fuck? I read the post. She put where it was. There was no picture and it was just what she did. It was like, but I was, I was even putting in the comments. I was like, I was even putting in the comments to people that were commenting on it. I was like, she made her decision when she did what she did. I tried to, I tried to be a good guy and told her I could forgive her and work and work this out. She just was not having it.
Speaker: I didn't say it. That was a funny thing. Neither one of us were saying anything about the fact that she had messed up her hair when she was trying to die. It was like there was no context. I was like, what the fuck? Yeah, it was as vague as could possibly be. That's what makes Summer and I so great together. We're the greatest tag team of all time because we don't have to talk about things. The funny is I was reading it and I was starting to read in the comments. I was like, I know this is a fucking joke somewhere.
Speaker: People are like, I need to know what's going on right now.
Speaker: Yeah. Because it's just like the day my kid attacked your village on that fucking game that I didn't even know was on my phone. And you were like, you motherfucker! And I was like, what the fuck are you talking about, dude? Speaking of, tell Kevin. Tell Kevin, Andrew and Michelle, yeah, tell whoever was playing it today, I'm kicking their ass. When I meet them, much like you, they're getting kicked in the... Oh, Kevin, you were playing here, kicking the dick. Oh, Michelle, sorry, kicking you in the twat.
Speaker: Well, the funny thing is, I leave my phone set right next to my laptop while I'm working. Because at any time, I might get, you know, my wife messes me throughout the day about, hey, don't forget, it's noon already, get off the computer a little bit and make something to eat, oh shit. Because I don't look at the clock, I just, I love my job so much, I just, I'll work 12 hours and not even realize it.
Speaker: So she'll send me a reminder of like, hey, noon's coming up, make some lunch. And I look over and I'm like, I haven't gotten a message from Puddy in a while. And I look around and I'm like, where the fuck's my phone? And Kevin's over on the fucking couch. He played some fucking game. I was like, God damn it, give me my phone. Yeah, he was playing fucking horn master. And he puts headphones in.
Speaker: My wife gave her old headphones because she got new ones. And he had his headphones in so he couldn't hear. I couldn't hear him. So I'm like, I'm just rocking out my work, typing out, calling people. And I looked around going, I literally had to type down a phone number. And the place I was going, I normally put it down.
Speaker: I couldn't find, like I had like 40 fucking windows open at once. And I was like, where's my phone? Where's my phone? And I looked over at Kevin's plate and I'm playing on my phone. So yeah. You need this, dad? I'm like, give me my phone. I don't even know what you're talking about. No, so that whole little Facebook scenario, that was funny.
Speaker: It was like all these old women were like, we're going to have to beat Chris up. I'm like, I'm not even the bad guy in this situation. I didn't do anything wrong. This is just the hell I'm going to die on. I kept trying to defend myself yet still be like, here's what it is.
Speaker: I'm gonna die on thing is literally leaking into everyday life for me to it is Yeah, it is it is for me for me to it because I've used it a couple hard thing Yeah, it's it's uh
Speaker: It's kind of leaked in at work where we'll start talking about something. I'm like, yeah, this is the hill you're going to die on? And they're like, what? And they're like, yeah, you know what? You heard what I said. And they're like, yeah, actually, I am. What the fuck? Sorry, the kids were giving me a kiss goodnight.
Speaker: Cause it's time for them to go to bed. Go to bed! Tanya and I were arguing about something and it was a trivial thing. And I was like, really? This is the hill you're going to die on. Oh, let me get you here. And I started Googling shit and I was like, let me fact check you on that. And she's like, don't you fucking dare. And I was like, bring up the Google assistant. Let me show you what I learned from Glick.
Speaker: Here comes the paycheck. I was like, I finally have to use this on somebody. I don't even remember what the fuck it was. It's hard to use it on somebody who's always right, like myself. That's the thing, when usually 90 % of the time
Speaker: See, instead of being way smarter than me, I mean, it's just a given. As a dumb person, I have learned. And instead of being so confident and sure about things like
Speaker: Good night, Joe. Like you are, like you said with the whole Mexican, Mexico thing. You're like, Mexico's the third largest city in the world. And you were so sure and you were so dead set on it. And then I said something about, because every day or at least once a month for the past 20 years, I've heard the same fucking thing. Yeah. But, but you know, much like where I said,
Speaker: uh you know you know so that about columbus being one of the largest cities in the united states i was like they say that columbus is one of the largest cities in the united states i think that's a territorial thing you want you want i don't believe it yeah i don't believe it but that's what they say
Speaker: I didn't come that confident. Like I wasn't so sure in the fact that God damn it Columbus is the third largest city in the United States of America. What I've wanted ever since I'm like five, who is they? I want to find they and beat the shell. They run the same group of I don't know and it wasn't me. They're all friends. Yeah, exactly. All of them need to fucking die because they're always getting, one of them's getting me pissed off or in trouble or something.
Speaker: So instead of coming so confident and sure yourself about things that you don't really have any fucking idea what you're talking about, you just put it on there. My one thing, besides cars, my one thing is movies, because I'm such a fucking movie buff that... You are a genre buff. You have genres that you are a buff. Yeah, genre, yeah. And I'm the same way, I'm the same way. And it's like, I got an argument with a friend of mine,
Speaker: We were talking about the Willy Wonka movies. Terrible. Why would anybody argue about either one of those movies? No, but the argument was that the first one is called what, Chris? The first one was Gene Wilder? Yeah. Isn't it called Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory? Or is it just Willy Wonka? Right. It's actually called Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. But my friend was arguing with me that
Speaker: it was charlie no that's the that's the one that's the second one yes johnny depp one and we got to argue this argument lasted three days yet both of us had fucking dvd within ten feet from us all thank you for the fact that appreciate that yeah because because the the original one and you can correct me if i'm wrong because i've seen both movies and i don't like either one of them but the original one
Speaker: The original one with Gene Wilder, much better than the Johnny Depp one. Way better. Was more about Willy Wonka and his factory, right? Where the second one was more about Charlie and his family. Well, they're both basically follow the same storyline because you don't see Gene Wilder until they show up at the chocolate factory.
Speaker: Yeah, but but that's the thing like it was the I don't know. That's just my stupid opinion. And like I said, I don't like either movie, but it seemed like it seemed like say bad about Willy Wonka in the Chocolate Factory. The first one is fuck Grandpa Joe. Because I don't think we'll do that. Just lays around and doesn't he laid around and then all of a sudden he's like, oh, we're going to go to the Chocolate Factory. And then he dances around the room like a fucking asshole.
Speaker: This motherfucker, this mother works her ass off to the bone to bring home fucking soup. And this motherfucker's lying in bed all the time, and then all of a sudden he's got all this energy, fuck him.
Speaker: But it just seemed like from when I see them, it was like the original Gene Wilder was more about Willy Wonka in the factory. Even though you didn't see him until he showed up there. But then the second one was more about Charlie. Like the focal point was Charlie. No, but the thing is, though, you see a lot of - I'll deal with you later. Shut the hell up and sit down. I think I said that right. I think I said that right, Tony. Happy belated fucking birthday, dude. Oh, happy birthday, Tony.
Speaker: I think yesterday was Tony's birthday. He's like 75 now. The second one is more about Willy Wonka because you see a lot of backstory. You see about his dad. Oh, really? Yeah, because there's a whole thing. His dad was a dentist and he ran away from home. And you see him picking up the Oompa Loompas. Oh, yeah, because they did show him stealing the Oompa Loompas and forcing him into slavery. Yeah.
Speaker: 49 75 same thing. You're still the oldest half or half score on apps If I turn on my phone one day and it doesn't say Tony D's gone live I'm gonna think you're dead I'm going to I'm going to Georgia is where I'm going If I don't get at least one
Speaker: If I didn't get one notification that Tony D went live one day, my ass is going to Warren, Georgia. I guarantee you that. I'm checking on him. I'm doing a wellness check. You're going to do a Tony D and call me like his. I'm calling Brian. I'm calling Mike. I'm calling everybody.
Speaker: I'm showing up with a case of beer. You're kicking your, Tony, are you alive? And you're like, yeah, I was just taking a nap. Let's go live. It's my day off. All right. Let's just check it on you. I got beer. I brought you some steak done. Right. Medium rare with no, no, a one sauce. No, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry. Medium rare.
Speaker: I'll bring you a bottle of ground peach as long as I can bring me a bottle of ground apple. Look, you want to talk about somebody dying on a fucking hill? Tony will die on this fucking well -done steak hill, man.
Speaker: Oh, no, no, no. No, I'm sorry. I have to go with the Woody Harrelson analogy. Yeah. The cowboy way. Wipe its nasty dash and chunk it down here on the plate. I want that fucker to move when I cut into it. You want to talk about somebody dying on a hill. There'd be 20 of us in a room all screaming about a medium rare steak and Tony's like, nope, well done with ketchup. At the very most light a match under for 30 seconds.
Speaker: He was He was clearly dropped on his head as a child. He's also a Jets fan. So yeah Plenty of apple down. Yeah, man. I love me some crown apple with Gatorade. That's my shit Jesus I want I want that fuck. I don't go really why me
Speaker: Yeah. I wanted to look at me with confusion while I... When we went out for my bachelor party, we went to... Not that you know who this is. After y 'all buried me a couple weekends ago, Tony? No, no, no.
Speaker: Look, we went to Eddie George's restaurant down on campus. Eddie George was a running back for the Ohio State Buckeyes. He was the man. Dude was awesome. And then he also played in the NFL and he was an absolute monster. Well, when he retired from the NFL, he opened up a restaurant, a steakhouse. And we went there for my bachelor party.
Speaker: and you know all my girls been in a bunch of my buddies and I ordered my steak and I said hey we'll meet him rare the bloodier the better one of my buddies was sitting there and he's like I'm gonna throw up I swear to God I'm gonna throw up watching him eat this and then the other one of my other guys it was one of the other guys that was there he was like hey uh you think you can just bring the cow to the back of the back door and let Glick just go out there and take a bite off of it
Speaker: Well, yeah, that's even better. Can you do that? Medium rare is about as far as I go. Yeah, I damn never want my shit raw. No, medium rare, I say medium rare in restaurants, you know. Summer, Summer, I joked with Summer because she's another one of them.
Speaker: heathens that have a special place in the hell like Tony because she eats her steak roll. And I was kind of scared to let summer cook steak. I was kind of scared to let summer cook steak for me, but the first time she cooked a steak for me, man, I was like,
Speaker: It just might be one of the best sticks I've ever had. Medium rare, nice and pink. I mean, I was like, I was cutting into it and every time I'd stick a fork in it, the son of a bitch was going, oh yeah, I got to chase him around to play. I was running around the house trying to eat that stick. I'm going to have to tackle this motherfucker and take a bite out of its ass. That's the game I want to play. If you're going to fuck up my cholesterol and give me a heart attack, I better
Speaker: at least give me some cardio. I am a savage. Speaking of cows, have you ever heard the story about the time that Nathan Ratcliffe and Ben Hart took me to the rodeo
Speaker: Have you heard this story? I feel like I have, but I don't remember it. This is during the time where I wore those 26 inches. That was legal. I don't think you can say savages anymore. I don't think you can. You're going to get canceled, sir. This is at the time where I wore those jinko jeans with 26 inches. You wore jinko jeans to the rodeo. Oh, I wore them daily.
Speaker: Yeah, I remember you wearing those stupid -ass jeans. These guys would show up. They showed up on my doctor. You'll have to specify. They did a full Mean Girls and they're like, get in loser, we're going to the rodeo. And I was like, alright, let's go. I don't know how I feel about you referencing Mean Girls. I fucking got there and these motherfuckers signed me up to ride. Ride what? The fucking bull.
Speaker: Was this like the Belleville recreational writing association? No, it was a small rodeo. But the bull I had was... I think it was like 425 pounds or some shit like that. There you go. What's going on, moms? The funniest thing was the announcer.
Speaker: You know, they gave me a helmet because, you know, it's dangerous. And I got the helmet and they gave me a vest to wear. And I'm wearing jinko jeans and tennis shoes. And they get up, they get me up on the bull and the announcer's like, look at this. Well, I would say cowboy, but I don't think that is a cowboy. Okay. He's, he's shook his head. He's ready to open the gate and here he goes. And there he done. He's done.
Speaker: Like you know, I was like I could do eight seconds like oh, yeah The game barely the gate barely opened it like this fucking bull was like
Speaker: I'll turn left. It wasn't even a bull. It was a heifer. It was a female cow. Yeah, exactly. It's a baby. But it tossed me. I shit you not. This thing tossed me like 25 feet in the air. I was done. And I literally got up and the clowns come in and chased the fucking bull away. And I swear, the guys say different. They said it didn't happen.
Speaker: But I could swear I could hear the entire crowd laughing their ass off. Oh, yeah, I'm sure. Like nobody was laughing. I was like, dude, because the week before Nathan had in his in his yard had a 55 gallon drum
Speaker: on ropes where you can practice bull riding and we were drunk one day and we were sitting there goofing off and they were fucking they put me on it and we were like this is just how you do and I did really well I was impressed with myself and I was like bull riding ain't that fucking hard I can fucking do this these motherfuckers show up on a Saturday like come on loser we're going and I was like aw shit and I was proven wrong but the whole right whole move boys laughed their asses off
Speaker: We had a place like that. Tony, how long's mom's in town for? Is she in town for Thanksgiving or Thanksgiving and Christmas? We had a place like that at Martinsburg. You could go and they did amateur bull riding and this, that, and the other thing.
Speaker: And you could sign up and you could just ride and you know you just have to sign the waiver and this that and the other thing. Yeah. They like sign this and I'm like what? And they're like it's a waiver if you get hurt we're not responsible. I was like wait what? They're like don't worry we'll give you a helmet. I was like a helmet? Jesus Christ. We had a buddy of mine that signed up for one time. And he was a very big guy. A little bit bigger than you.
Speaker: but the announcer was doing his thing and he was like, you sure you can handle this bull? And all of us were on the gate, we're like, he's rode bigger bitches on a Saturday night than this. Basically the same thing happened. He only lasted a couple seconds. I think my time was a second and a half. Yeah. The announcer was like, not only, not only was the bull much, or what would he say something like,
Speaker: Not only are the fat bitches you ride on the weekend disappointed, so was the bull or something like that. But in that, at the most, two seconds, falling off that fucking cow and running to the fucking gate, I was so sore the next day that it felt like I won three rounds with Ali. Just fucked up. But the whole ride home, it was like a good hour car ride to back.
Speaker: boys laugh so fucking hard and but Nathan Nathan did he did seven and a half seconds on his boy and his ball was twice the size of mine it was like an 800 pound yeah no joke and I was seriously impressed no helmet had his vest undone it wasn't zipped up or nothing he's rocking it I was like dude you're fucking badass
Speaker: Yeah, we all do stupid things. Oh, this is by far one of my dumbest things. But I want to actually jump off real quick because I need to eat. I haven't eaten. I literally forgot to eat because as I said, I was working and then I looked down at the clock and I was, Holy shit, it's 5 .30. I would like to, I would like to say I was hungry, but we got that Tony's pizza today and there was like four pizzas and I think
Speaker: Five or six of us was eating them. And I feel like I ate one of those four pizzas by myself. Well, I kid you not, last night, last night, same thing happened. I was like, oh shit, it's five o 'clock, I gotta cook. So I grabbed some meat out of the fridge and I made spaghetti real quick. And I kid you not, I made the biggest bag of spaghetti I've made in a long time. Now you've seen the pictures I've sent you of the spaghetti. Yeah, you make some ridiculous ass amount. I had one bowl.
Speaker: And then I went to get up a second bowl and it was all gone. They cleaned it the fuck up. I mean there wasn't even a little bit of ground beef left. And I put bacon in it and I fucking went all out last night because I was like shit. I did it last minute.
Speaker: But they cleaned it the fuck up to the point where my wife come home. She's like, so what'd you make? I said, I made spaghetti. She's like, excellent. Give me a bowl. I was like, yeah, there is no more. She's like, what? You ate it all? I said, not me. Them. And pointed at the kids. But since we were doing the birthday last night, my mother -in -law came over and she had these bad ass chicken sandwiches that she had made. Did you get your brother -in -law a 50 gallon drum of cologne and 16 pairs of skinny jeans?
Speaker: Actually, no, I offered him 50 bucks on Friday if he let me shave his head. He won't do it. I was like, dude, 50 bucks. No, he's got to look fabulous. He's got to look fabulous. He looks like he's late for his taping of Welcome Back Carter.
Speaker: Well, you know what it is, that's the look, man, that these kids have these days. Well, the funny thing is like shaved underneath and it's all fluffy on top. Hey, can you come pick me up and get my haircut? And I'm like, dude, I'll cut your hair. I'll cut your hair. Kevin, give me my clippers. Because I said, look, I'll give you $50. Like my wife was like, I'll give you 100 pesos, 10 bucks.
Speaker: And I was like, no, no, no, I'll give you $50 cash. You let me shave my head. And he was like, OK. So I went to get out the Clippers and I took off the guard. So it was like, it would be next to nothing on his head. And that was the hill he died on. He was like, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was like, no. If I'm paying, I'm going to get the straight racer out next. You're going to go ball. Bruce Willis balled. And he was like, no, no, no, I can't. I said, dude, 50 bucks?
Speaker: You're getting your hair cut anyways. But he wouldn't do it. But yeah, like I said, I want to go ahead and jump off. I need to go, I need to get something to eat. I'm fucking starving. Is your vagina bleeding? No, I'm starving, dude. I literally, I ate three pancakes this morning. I had three pancakes this morning at seven o 'clock in the morning. Maxi Pad? I ate three pancakes this morning at seven o 'clock in the morning and haven't eaten since.
Speaker: You want a bowl of chocolate ice cream and you want to watch Legally Blonde and cuddle on the couch? I love these movies. I love these movies. That makes it beautiful. My wife ruined her for me. Well, that's the end of the show. I appreciate you guys for listening tonight. I hope you enjoy the show. My wife pointed out a flaw in resplitting this movie and now that's all I see when I see her.
Speaker: She's got a pointy chin her chin points. Oh my god, really? Yeah, that's that's what when you see it when you see it. You're like It totally ruined it for me Christina Ricci has wonky eyes. She's cross -eyed. She's also got a
Speaker: her vagina lips look like blown up roast beef and smells like three day old tuna
Speaker: I like tuna too. For that woman, she can fall in a river of shit, and I'm still going to do like myself, baby. She's got long ass monkey toes. Then she likes to do butt stuff with her man. However, the biggest drama I have with Christine reaching right now, and my wife gives me shit about it, she's lost too much weight. I like a little funky.
Speaker: A little chunky Christina Ricci's, she's at her best. No, I like the, I like the, I don't like the, that was the thing about... Shit, what was her name? The chick from, the, from Zombie Lane. Oh, oh, oh, oh my God.
Speaker: I know who you're talking about. I just can't remember her name. Uh, she, she, well, she, she did two things wrong. She, she used to be, you know, she wasn't, she was a little thick. Emma, something or another. Emma Stone. Emma Stone.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, she was she was a little she was a little bit thick, you know And I like that about her and then I liked her I liked her red hair and then she's like I'm gonna dye my hair blonde and get anorexic skinny and I was just like Yeah, you're kind of ugly now. You look like a dude that wants to be Lionel Richie's daughter Never been anything sexy about Nicole Richie. I thought she was gorgeous when she was chubby and then she lost all that weight and she looked like a bobblehead and
Speaker: Ever ever ever been sexy or good -looking or mildly cute about that chick Like you know she reminds me of you ever see that movie 300
Speaker: Yeah. You know that fucking creature that screws over Leonidas? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got a fried chicken. No, she has a hunchback. It was just what she made me think of. She's just gonna fucking get up and leave. We're not talking about anything. We're not doing anything. You're just going to leave.
Speaker: But now we do need to wrap this up before the show gets too long. So I'm going to go ahead and go into my wrap up. Jeff will be back in a second.
Speaker: We do appreciate you guys listening. We appreciate you guys hanging out. Hopefully you enjoyed the show. Hopefully you enjoyed the show. Hopefully you enjoyed what we do here. We're having a lot of fun doing it. So if you're not already, feel free to check us out on social media. Go ahead and go give us a like. Go give us a follow. Give us a little support. That's how we know we're doing something good here. You can find us on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, Twitter, all at Nonsense School Nonsense.
Speaker: If you'd like to join us and hang out in the chatters box with us live, feel free to do that. You can find us on HAPS, YouTube, Twitch, Twitter, and Facebook every Wednesday at 6, Saturday at 8 o 'clock. And if you want to catch every episode of the podcast, you can find us on Anchor, Spotify, Google Play, Apple Podcasts, basically anywhere and everywhere you go and get your podcast fixings at.
Speaker: Like I said, go give us a listen, go give us a follow, tell your friends about it. You know, if you like what you hear or if you want to hear something a little bit different, if you'd like to hear something that you haven't heard, let us know and you can always reach out to us, not only on social media, but you can also email us at nonsensicalnonsensepodcastandgmail .com. I got it that time. There you go, man. There you go. I literally earlier, I was literally looking up stuff. I was looking up art on the floor.
Speaker: I'm proud of you. I do some things right now. At the end of the day. At the end of the day, I'm proud of you. But with all that being said, you know what's coming up. What the fuck? Which one of the following laptops would you most lazily purchase in a... Ah, survey. Gaming laptop, dude. I put laptop I can watch lots of porn on.
Speaker: But but yeah, okay They got the most right But with the outro be at the the social media is out there the where you can find our podcast the Email account being out there. There's only two things left to do three things I guess And with that
Speaker: I say, thank you guys for hanging out with us again. Jeff, love you brother. There it is. And last but not least, we hit him with the Blacktop Mojo. The official closer. Go follow these guys. Go give them some love. Go stream the shit out of their music and tell them that nonsensical nonsense sent the... Who?
Speaker: Sorry, Matt, but just walk by. Oh, shit. Oh, shit, Chuck. Oh, shit, Chuck. Somebody mentioned some weird podcast. What the fuck? Oh, man, our music. Who the fuck is nonsensical nonsense? I don't know. I'm trying to get a weapon to defend myself, and this asshole's got guns in it.
Speaker: She lost the war, she lost the love, she lost the blood on her hands. She dances naked through the trees until it runs away. She always was present through her wing and she couldn't only forget.
Speaker: Please don't let go of the hell. If I began to believe, she said, come on. Lord, the wind is gone. Take this hand with mine. I won't live forever. And now, the spirit will be gone. Kill me, I don't know. Maybe the God love you.
Speaker: When the odds look up, then she starts to feast. There was this kind of love that he said she wants us to leave. When they tell us to find her, let's broaden down her shoes.
Speaker: Sir, can I help you? Do you have any weapons of any kind? Anything to defend yourself. Sir, this is a Speedy Mort. We have hot dogs, too, for a dollar. I just put them on the roller yesterday. They're pretty good. No, man. Like, something sharp. Something, like, I can stab to defend myself with. I've got some sharp titter combos over there. It's kind of like a rich kid. You literally have guns behind you. All right.
Speaker: Let me just take one of these ladders and I'm gonna borrow your bug spray and borrow your bathroom key as well. Yeah, bathroom key. All right. Got your bathroom key right there. Make sure you bring it back. And that'll be 1362. And I'm gonna have to have exact same. So we're in a coin shortage at the moment. Whatever, man. Okay. So that's sick. I'm sorry.
Speaker: Oh shit, Chuck!
Speaker: Oh shit, church!
Speaker: Make me look young like you Hell yeah! And that's how you end a show, motherfuckers! We appreciate y 'all listening and we will see you guys... Saturday! Tonight with a brand new episode of Nonsenseical Nonsense!
