Nonsensical Nonsense 84 I may be wrong but highly unlikely

Transcript

Speaker: So you feel the energy to be shown in the stream. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it.

Speaker: Yes, that's it.

Speaker: Almost got me. It did get you, don't lie. It did get me a little bit. What's going on, guys? Happy Monday. Happy Valentine's Day, everybody. What up? Hopefully, if you guys have a significant other, you got to spend a little bit of time with them. Got to have my first Valentine's with my lady today. That was pretty nice. Before I had to pack up and make the drive home.

Speaker: That was quick. I thought you'd still be down there. Well, I went down yesterday. I got down there yesterday afternoon and then she had to go to work today. So I took today off. She had to work this afternoon, but welcome everybody to nonsensical nonsense. Hopefully you guys had a good weekend. If you didn't, sorry. Maybe this will make it a little bit better. I'm a good guy. What's going on, Joe?

Speaker: If you guys aren't already, go ahead and give us a follow on social media at nonsensical nonsense on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and yes, we are on TikTok. You can join us here on HAPS Live every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday night.

Speaker: All you gotta do is download the app. It's free. Give nonsensical nonsense a follow. And then you'll get notification every single time we go live and you can get every single episode of the podcast. If you don't want to join us live, you don't want to listen at your own convenience. You can do so by finding us on anxious Spotify, Google play, Apple podcasts, basically anywhere and everywhere you get your little podcast and jollies from my check. We're there.

Speaker: No, you're good. Okay. Thank you. Sorry about that for my headphones. Oh, all up to date. Most recent episode from Saturday. Just literally just got done posting it right before we went live. So you guys still have time to get out there. Listen to Saturday's episode. If you did join us, make sure you jump on the social media and cast your vote for the starting five. We picked a new list. We found out a, uh,

Speaker: probably a disturbing secret about Tony and toys that he likes Saturday night, but. Liar. It's all, it's all recorded and on audio. Liar, scandal, liar. If my vote only counted, Tony would get my vote for that one pic alone. Oh damn, I'm just sitting here going raw dogging it here with no microphone.

Speaker: No, we hear you nicely. You good. Yeah, I was going to say, I would have never guessed. Yeah, why? I'm probably going to be here for a little bit real quick. I do. You glitching. You glitching, bro. I get a call. There we go. That's because I'm going back for a walk.

Speaker: Yeah, actually, I was kind of surprised to see your name pop up. Jeff in the backstage. Mike said he might make it, but he'll be a little bit late. I told you, if he makes it, he makes it. It's not that big a deal. It's a Monday show. It's a relax fit. We just come out here, hang out, shoot the shit. But let's go ahead and get the elephant out of the room because there was a major sporting event last night. Yes, it was.

Speaker: And as we all predicted, it was a really good game. Yes, it was. It was a really close game. I didn't watch. I really forgot. I'm curious for number one. I would like to say I made one prediction in that game. And my prediction was more of a wish, was that Odell Beckham would break his vagina and have to leave the game. And he did. Because he's a scumbag. And I hope he rots in health. And I hope this ain't a challenge. Don't hate him because he got a Super Bowl.

Speaker: I hope this injury is career ending. Oh, that's messed up because it might be. That's the second time he's towards ACO in two years. That's not good. He did it in Cleveland and I think he did it in New York. That means he might reside now. Fucking taking the easy way to a Super Bowl, joining a team more than halfway through the season.

Speaker: Well, he didn't want to be there. And I saw that early, not even being funny. I saw that early. He didn't really want to be there. No, he didn't want to be there. And that's what a lot of people are starting to criticize him about now. Was he playing to his full potential? He was when he was in Cleveland. His first season, I would say he is. You all will have to tell him. His first season, yeah, I'm talking about this season. Well, this season, guys. He was excited to be with Jarvis because they were college teammates and they're boys in real life and stuff.

Speaker: But no, it was a, it was a really good game. Uh, I got to see a different side of Jody last night. Kind of makes me excited for next football season. Uh, because she watches football. Like I watch football back and forth facing yelling cussing. Yes. It was, it was quite enjoyable to watch.

Speaker: or enjoy the game. But I'm telling you that Bengals team, if they get an offensive line for Joe Burrow, they're going to be dangerous for the next several years. Can I be honest? I didn't see a problem with that team. Aaron Donald and Von Miller, you can't say nothing. I didn't see a problem with that team. Yeah, but he was sacked, what, nine times in that game? Yeah, because of Aaron Donald and Von Miller.

Speaker: Also, the Cincinnati Bengals offensive line did not help their situation when they decided to start pushing Aaron Donald around on the sideline trying to pick a fight with him because all they did was light a fire under that man's ass and he made it his personal mission. I saw that hit, I can't understand where he was coming from. That man made it his personal mission to kill Joe Burrows last night. Well, it was his personal mission to get in there and I want to give the Bengals credit, huh? It was the Bengals, to the Bengals credit, they were stopping to run their first quarter.

Speaker: Oh, yeah, that was the last respect to them for being ready. And everybody made no shame come to the Cincinnati Bengals. Many things, many things look good last night. They looked really good last night. They just came up a little short at the end, but they're a young team. They're a very young team.

Speaker: It was a very tight game all the way through. It may have been a one touchdown lead at the most throughout the whole game. Yeah, the entire game. The entire games. And they were ready for each other. If you don't understand anything about that Super Bowl, they were ready for each other. No one team was better than the other, and the other one wasn't playing scared. No. No. No. And if one team scored, the other one bounced right back. They shook it off real quick and in a hurry. Yeah.

Speaker: Three points on the final score was three points. And my prediction was the Bengals had a plus five, so I would have won had I gambled it. But I think the Bengals may have had the lead. I don't think they had the lead at all. The whole game. Yeah, they had the lead. Thanks for reminding me now.

Speaker: Chris and I talked about this a while back that I have access to go to a sports book. Like, I can go every day if I wanted to. I can literally work from there. And I meant to bet on the game because this is the one game that I would normally watch, but I only watched my bet on it. And I meant to ask you guys about it because nobody's here but me, so I could have gone to the sports book and A, watched it, B, bet on it.

Speaker: I ate absolute dog shit last night on Fandul because I Jamar Chase didn't really have a game that I thought he was gonna have it was Higgins that went off last night for Cincinnati and

Speaker: Of course, Cooper Gump came through for me. Jamar Chase did good. He did good. No, he did good. He just didn't have the game. I thought he was going to have Higgins. As far as, like, fan duel and points go, Higgins had, like, 30 points. And Jamar Chase had, like, 12, I think. Man, Steph must have been the point winner in the whole thing. Yeah. Higgins had 30.

Speaker: Higgins had 30 points. Cooper Cupp had 30 points. Stafford had 23, 24 points. But that's what killed me because I had Stafford and Joe Burrow. And Burrow got sacked I think nine times last night. Hey.

Speaker: Not once but twice during the playoffs, Joe Burrow set a sack record. When they played the Titans, he was the first quarterback to be sacked more than nine times or nine times and still win a game. And then last night he became the first quarterback or he broke Roger Stahlbacks.

Speaker: Sack record which was seven when he was in the Super Bowl, and I think Burroughs had eight or nine last night It wasn't just that game. I mean it was all season he had 51 23 to 20 23 to 20

Speaker: Los Angeles. I caught a few seconds of it while I was in Walmart buying groceries, but that was about it. Tony just ran away.

Speaker: Yeah, I think he dropped for a second. When I was picking up stuff. Really? It was a really good game. I hit the wrong button. My apologies. I hit the wrong button. No, you're good. What's going on, Mark? No, it was a really good game. As Tony said, both teams came to play. They were both ready. It wasn't even that the Rams were better than the Bengals.

Speaker: They just happened to score last. They won. The Rams won, but made a Bengals face no shame for their Super Bowl. Seriously. Joe, that's because I'm going in and out between different pages. I'm still working as we're doing the show. Oh, you're on the clock. The halftime show last night. Well, I'm off the clock, but I'm just kind of finishing up my work. My power was out for most of my morning. Dude, take your time if you got to. So I did not have internet access, so I'm just getting caught up.

Speaker: Yeah, take your time. But yeah, on the halftime show, I think they had a lot of acts and it went by too fast for a lot of people. And that's what a lot of people are saying. The halftime show was only 12 minutes. And you had really?

Speaker: And the names that they had was phenomenal. I mean, that is a super, that is a Super Bowl halftime lineup for the ages right there. Yeah. And even 50, uh, you know, making a, a, a surprise appearance was awesome. Which he should have been there. Those are his biggest acts. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Hey, and Mary still looks good. A little man, but sorry about that. Oh, Mary still looks good though, man.

Speaker: Mary looks good. Mary, yeah, yeah, yeah. She still could do a thing, and she's still making money, so I'm not mad at her. A lot of women look up to her and love her. She is a very strong female hip -hop R &B icon. So she is like the modern -day diva, if you will. She is the Keanu Reeves of female rap icons. Oh, Jesus Christ. There's this guy in Keanu. There's no stage. This guy in Keanu already. I love these in Keanu. No, Jody and I both, at the same time, we were both. Joe, this was for you, by the way.

Speaker: What? Joe said smoke one for me, so this is Joe. Word. Okay, that was hard. Cool. JJ is the queen of hip -hop soul. That's who she is, the queen of hip -hop soul. Yep. Yeah, Jodi and I both said at the same time was, damn, she still looks good when she showed up there on stage. She sounded great, too. I mean, it was a really good... I was looking forward to the halftime show. I wish it would have been a little bit longer, but, you know,

Speaker: And that was a lot of acts. Eminem came out there and did his thing. 50 came out there and did his thing. Snoop came out there and did his thing. I mean, don't think that would have been crazy had the other guy, Ice Cube and Ren showed up. I'd have lost it.

Speaker: Oh yeah. I would have lost. Absolutely. I honestly thought because I was like, there's no way they're not going to have a surprise guest. And I thought it would be Cube. I thought Ice Cube would have showed up. But I wasn't disappointed in 50. And they all trying to let that go and it's a pass. Of course they'll get together because they've done it, but they're past that phase. 50 of Eminem and his biggest acts, how would he not going to show up?

Speaker: And it's impacted playing the drums. I saw him over there. So a lot of his people, even Kendrick came out, so his major acts were there. Game would've came out, that would've been it. That would've been some shit because didn't the game and 50, didn't they have beef, did they ever squash that? They had beef and it's been squashed. But if they would've came out there and done some G -Unit mess or D12 and it would've came out there with M &M, Kendrick would've brought TDE out there, it would've been a monster.

Speaker: LA was big enough for all of them. You know what I'm saying? Oh yeah. That would have been a monster. I think had they had more time we would have seen a lot more surprises. They had time, damn it, with the Super Bowl. It was cold. Well, they had time and everybody was ready. This is one halftime show that I can think of. It's been a while where there's been a halftime show where people were really

Speaker: talking about it and on it and excited for the leader. You know, everybody got excited for the weekend last year, but it wasn't like, you know, a month in advance where everybody was excited. It was like he was doing, I don't know what the hell he was doing. I don't think any, I think people are still trying to figure out a year later what the fuck he was doing in that halftime show last year. One of my homeboys said, can we ever get this time back?

Speaker: They had that damn mascot. I don't know what was going on. Last year, that was something. The greatest halftime show of all time was Prince. And I'll fight anybody that says different. He plays the electric guitar in the rain. In the rain. And literally, before he went on, they said, Prince, it's raining. He says, I know. Can you make it rain harder?

Speaker: That was his comment to it's raining. He's like I only wish it was raining harder. Why does that make me feel awkward?

Speaker: That makes you feel awkward, but the mochi cheese don't make you feel awkward? And he's running around in a bedroom. He's got that slick surface with his dress boots on and all that shit. This shit had me dying. I was listening to that while I was watching the replay and I was looking for stuff. That shit had me dying. Really? Urban dictionary? Urban fucking dictionary.

Speaker: Obviously you and I are in two different worlds agree

Speaker: I did that things not to Google in front of your parents on TikTok. And I always went to Google with an urban mixture because that's where the answers came from. Momma Glick, I agree with Windows Cry. I love that song. I will say the greatest Prince song to me. And that's a hard question.

Speaker: I think I'm gonna roll with mountains. Okay, okay. I can see that. I loved the question of you. If you're not a Prince fan, do yourself a favor and dig that up. Yep. I have the entire catalog. A door goes up there so damn high for me. And I can't even mix those three up.

Speaker: But a door like one of the more popular ones, Hot Thing was dope. We gotta let's go crazy. You know, man, I'll be going crazy. Let's go crazy is amazing. But no matter what, if the rain comes on, I don't care where the fuck I am, I'm singing along.

Speaker: Fuckin' love that song. That one, Dove's Cry. Raspberry Beret. Raspberry Beret. Controversy. My wife likes, I think it's Dove's Cry. She's got one of her she listens to when she hears the opening of the electric guitar.

Speaker: She loses her mind. She's like, Oh, I love this song. Everybody. Everybody. Yes. Yes. But I think he had the best one recently. Um, you serious? You serious?

Speaker: You serious? I got to Google the damn Michael Jackson halftime show. Somebody told me he did one. I said, hell, I don't even remember that. That was a long time ago. That was pretty good. All he did was back. That was a long time ago. It was like back in the early 90s. I think it was when he was doing the whole Pepsi thing. That was not long. Yeah, that was not long after his hair cut fire for Pepsi. Yeah, I think it was right after he lost to Cherry Girl. That was a long time ago. Yeah. I'm pretty sure that was when he was doing the whole Pepsi sponsor. He would stop rocking with Cherry Girl.

Speaker: Michael Jackson, 1983. Oh wow. 12 minutes. That's the thing. I mean the Super Bowl halftime show. I think I think it pretty much always stays right there. No, no, I'm saying he got his hair on fire during a Pepsi. It was a commercial. Pepsi commercial.

Speaker: Not during the halftime show. No, it was around that same time is what we were saying, Joe. It was around the same time that one of the best Pepsi commercials was when all the Jacksons were in it with Alfonso Rubio. That was epic. That was an epic. Yes. Alfonso turn around and Mike said, oh, Mike. I've been sitting in this chair all day.

Speaker: Literally have not gotten up Well, you know the problem is like my desk is literally up against the wall and It is mounted to the wall and I can't stretch my legs out. My knees start to hurt So you need to see any one of them ergonomic chairs for so long You can roll around with the massages in it. Then you got to roll around here bad boy. I need to yeah Well, what I need to do is is

Speaker: in my office, that way I can boom my chair back. My office is a bathroom. That's a recliner. I know. No, that's like when I'm doing the podcast and you hear me, I'm a fried chicken, I literally keep my headphones on and just kind of sit out. Somebody hears anything. I don't believe the camera on, but then we might get banned. Right.

Speaker: We haven't gotten banned yet, but you know, there's always a first time. I just got here. I've been here since the beginning. I don't even need to turn my camera on in the wrong time as I'm standing there pulling my pants off my dick hanging out. Look to the rear. Enjoy. My bad. That was my wiener. Sorry. Fuck that.

Speaker: Oh, shit. Mmm. Good Super Bowl. That's my first track of the week boys. Anybody watch the Olympics? That's what I need to know. Uh, not really to be honest with you. I mean, I get updates from here and there, but not really. I mean, I tried to, I tried. The problem is, and it was the same thing for the summer Olympics. It's true. Because they're like in China or wherever the hell they are, Japan or whatever.

Speaker: It's hard to find it live. We don't even know who's really in the Olympics. We don't have any fanfare for this one. Yeah, exactly. It's a medal count, but I don't feel it's so much. Yeah, that's about the other thing. The China thing is a dead issue to me. We have beat that into the ground. We've been beating that into the ground ever since everything was being made in China, because it's been on the movies. But I haven't really been paying attention to it, and I want to be guilty, because it's still mad at what happened with Simone Biles and them. I'm not going to lie. That pissed me the hell off.

Speaker: when they told her to stop performing. Yeah, Simone Biles and them, she was so good, they told her they wasn't gonna grave her. Was that, she was on that, she was a gymnast. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, she's that sexy gymnast. Yeah, she's young. She's sexy, but she's young, yeah, she's off -limits, but mama got gaming skills, so. Wait, I'm talking, I'm thinking of somebody else. What's the one that the dude did from Australia did the, he did the commentary to her act? I don't know any sexy Australian dudes.

Speaker: Told you all he knows sexy latino dudes. Fuck you. But no, small miles in there and they told him they was gonna grade him because she was too good and pissed everybody off. I think they lost a lot of folks on the Olympics. I thought she was the one during the summer Olympics that backed out for mental issues and stuff like that. Because that's what they told her. Oh, is that what they were? They told her that, yes.

Speaker: No, no, he's not sexy, she is.

Speaker: disrespectful as hell. But she was that damn good. She was going to blow them out of the water the way Mary Lou Renton used to. She's 100 % that good. Yeah, I just, you know, I tried to keep up on hockey. I think the women's hockey team beat somebody yesterday. Now they go on to play Canada for the gold. Right. What's up with Ukraine? You mean Ukraine? Everybody's on standby waiting. Oh, your move is about to come on.

Speaker: Bomb what movies at Roadhouse? Oh shit shows there It wasn't that bad Milton was good. It was all right. It was all right So am I the only one in here that actually celebrated Valentine's Day today, huh?

Speaker: Yes. And I am. I can't. My wife's not in town. Are you guys doing anything when she gets back? I know it'd be a little belated, but... She told me she was going home to him, so no. I thought she was... I thought she was in Columbia, the country. She's in Columbia, Georgia? Columbus is stupid. No. Yeah. I'm late enough. I asked...

Speaker: I said, hey, Alexa, what's to do in Colombia? I got this back from the net about Colombia, Georgia. I was like, no, the country, you dumbass. But we don't really do stuff for Valentine's Day anyways. Yeah. I mean, you've done that enough after all of you understand this. No, but I mean, in general, we literally like, on the 16th or 17th, oh, yeah, by the way, happened Valentine's Day. We forgot, you know, because we spend

Speaker: and together as possible. Oh, nice, Drew. Man, that's his name. Two weeks at the 30th. Oh, that's what's happening. Yeah, I guess it's a little bit different for me compared to you when we're spending our first Valentine's Day together and you guys are on like your 10th or 11th.

Speaker: Yeah. I mean, after about five times a day, I'm a little bit different where it doesn't matter if it's just be there. Shit. Yeah. I think I think that's where I'm a little bit different. I don't care if it's the first one or the the 40th one. I think I still want to try to make it a little special day, you know, so where we can do our stuff. Do whatever it is. Agreed.

Speaker: So we had fun with, enjoyed each other's company. I enjoy spending time with her, just in general, but got to go down to watch Super Bowl with her last night, and then we hung out at the house today. She got me some nice fucking shirts though. One I'm wearing, and she got me a fucking hoodie that I'm in love with, and a jacket that was really nice. I was like, damn, I wasn't expecting that at all. Right. Don't daz on the road, word.

Speaker: Oh, yeah, that's right. I think he said he said something about that You prefer the blue jacket jersey is nice. Well, I do have two of those but Nah, like I said, I I really like my gifts that she got me and I didn't expect it at all So she kind of caught me off guard and surprised me a little bit. Don't you bless us, bro? Yeah

Speaker: I'm not used to it. I'm starving. I haven't eaten anything all day. You work at home. Well, you work at home. This guy, you'd think that he... If you work at home and then you're hungry, that just sounds ridiculous. Yeah. Like, you'd think that he was stuck in an office all day and he couldn't leave. He literally is 10 feet away from his kitchen.

Speaker: He's got time to call and talk to me for three hours during the day, but he doesn't have time to go get anything to eat during the day. Hell no. I like my blue jackets, Josie's. There was a controversy with the woman that sang America the Beautiful on the Super Bowl last night. I'm reading it now. I didn't hear anything about that.

Speaker: The girl that sung the National Anthem did a really good job. Janae Iko did one song and Michelle Guyton did another. Yeah, Michelle Guyton. She's a country singer. She's a country singer. She did a really good job with the National Anthem. And then the other chick sang. Oh, they put the name wrong. That's what it was. Janae Iko did her thing. But when the other lady came up, they put Janae Iko back on her again.

Speaker: Oh yeah, they fixed that. They did do that. It was real quick, but then they fixed it and got the right name up there. Right. You can see him hitting backspace. Wrong name, wrong name. Shit, we're alive. Shit. God damn it. I spelled it wrong. Fuck. I see that. I was driving home today, Milton, and I say, what were you grilling?

Speaker: Build the stairs on that grill, I ain't mad at them. I can't wait to have another grill. I looked at one the other day, I just can't pull the trigger on it because they don't sell, the problem I have with grills in general comes down to, it takes so long. Why do you stay? Ah, not really. Then get your pillar grill.

Speaker: Well, the problem is I don't, I like to grill. I don't mind, but getting the fire started and all that shit, fuck all that noise. I got a stove. Oh, I thought they were going to merge. I was about to say, oh shit. No, I'm in Florida. No, I'm fucking through the north. North end. Northern Georgia. Oh, I didn't know Milton was up there in Georgia, or down there in Georgia too. Yeah, he down there, but he's out.

Speaker: Two or three hours from there. The genius I was referring to was Caitlin O 'Hashi. She's gorgeous. Caitlin O 'Hashi?

Speaker: And the guy that does the review, go on to Facebook and put in Osmond Reviews. Oh, you're talking about the, you're talking about Osmond that does the funny reviews. His review of her routine is one of the funniest thing I've ever seen. I must have seen that routine 30 times because of his review. That's old too. That's old. The video is over a year old.

Speaker: But I thought that video when you when you when you said Simone, I can't sleep. Caitlin O 'Hashi says she's got some thick legs. Yes, you do. There was a I was told through Facebook.

Speaker: I was on Facebook the other day, and there was a girl that did a tribute to DMX. She's a gymnast at UCLA. Oh, where? Yeah, she did a tribute in her floor routine to DMX. That shit was crazy. I was like, damn, OK. The crowd was going nuts, man. Yeah, send me that video. I'd like to see that. Everybody loves DMX. Everybody loves DMX. OK.

Speaker: The funniest thing I've ever heard about DMX is what cat William said This dude is two inches taller than me

Speaker: My wife is not a big fan of stand -up comics But if cat Williams is on my wife is on it I I can recite the pimp Chronicles one and two I

Speaker: He was funny on those though. He killed me and told me he was shack and shack like the duh, duh, duh dick was on his head. This is bullshit, nigga. Sorry. Watch yourself, motherfucker. I'll shoot your ass. No, but I'm quoting. That's the difference. That's the difference. I'm quoting. That's an issue I'd like to discuss. Is a quote a bad thing? Yes. Okay.

Speaker: My bad, I apologize. I sing lyrics. I mean, it is what it is. Yeah, that's another thing. I mean, lyrics. I mean, damn. I used to tell people, I wouldn't play that rap. They had the curse, and they know even their word in it, because I don't want other people saying it. Other people feel comfortable, but you will get your ass jumped. Oh, yeah. I'm going to tell y 'all now. That's my only one of the everybody out there.

Speaker: Again, again, no, know your surroundings and know the group you are with. I got yelled at by some friends of mine because I used to not, I used to not sing along and they're like, fuck it, say the words. I was like, my bad. I didn't want to, I didn't want to offend you guys. It's almost, it's almost before you say it, you have to check with your surroundings. Yeah, trust me. You said your message.

Speaker: The group of guys that I used to work with that two men in a truck that would yell at me about saying stuff like that and telling me to say it, we would also walk in the building and start yelling at each other and HR would slam, they didn't shut it, they slammed their door because they knew that we were an HR issue. Especially when my one buddy Ant used to walk in the building and from across the building he'd be like,

Speaker: What up cracker? What's going on with your black ass?

Speaker: I had a dude. There's a way, but we were doing together and the Mexican dude was in some crackers. The way they always felt with him every day telling him to speak English. Speak some English. The one that he was using some crackers. He said, you want to cracker cracker? I like that. I spit all my day. No, the shit we used to say to Bob back in the day, our buddy Bob, he's one of the biggest Mexicans you'll ever see. But holy shit, we used to beat on him about that.

Speaker: we called it every slurred book and he'd come right back and he knew it was you know it was y 'all got that understanding fully understood right but like if anybody else said it oh we'd be on their ass well that's not me in Antwerp

Speaker: Not to mention, in your circles. A lot of people got it like that. Even when I was in Virginia Beach, they didn't do it. They knew we would come out. There weren't that many of us. But when we showed up, it was a problem. One of the funniest stories that I've ever heard and been part of is I used to work for my grandfather's company that he started before the military. And we're literally in the traffic jam. And there's a giant man of color.

Speaker: And my girlfriend's dad is sitting with me. My dad is driving. My dad, of course, knows the guy that's holding the sign. He screams out, hey, you big! And of course, this gentleman, thanks to my father, walks over to my then girlfriend's dad, rolling up the windows, going, oh, gee, we're going to get killed. And I'm going to tell you what's up with you!

Speaker: And it. But nowadays. You're sure you could not get away with it. You sound like Mike right now. Your microphone. Yeah, that don't help matters though.

Speaker: He didn't even say anything about it. He just sat there. Did you get everybody fired? He'll be right back. I think he's gonna close down some of his windows. Yeah, like I said, I mean, it's different when you're around your boys, but to be like that just all willy -nilly is a whole nother story.

Speaker: It actually sounds like you're being censored.

Speaker: Trust me when I tell y 'all this. He's backstage, bro. It's in your best interest not to fucking do it. It's like talking about some shit around women. It's in your best interest not to fucking do it. Okay, he just got back. Ladies and gentlemen, he just got back from Human Resources. He's been reprimanded. He's back on file. That is a quote from the show.

Speaker: that I said, that I go apologize. It slips out from the simple fact when you're saying the quote from that show, that Pimp Chronicles, if you don't say it, the joke doesn't play as well. And as a white man, I should not have said it, but it slipped out. You know one of the funniest skits, one of the funniest skits on the Chappelle show? Oh my God, I love that. They can't say the name. People are like, you know what we're talking about, yeah.

Speaker: But it was hilarious. That skit is so funny. And only she felt good get away with that. But here's the milkman? Oh my god. Excuse me? I feel like I've sent that out to people so many times. This is hilarious. But it was funny. It was funny as hell.

Speaker: and and one of my one of my friends he's he's uh he's he's basically a a black version of me and he and i send that video back what do you mean what do you mean what do you mean what do you mean he's basically a black person to you oh see black version

Speaker: Oh, a black version, okay. I thought he was like, wait, you just - He's a black guy. Are you just ethically classifying people? What am I? What am I? Nice. What am I to you? What is Tony to you? Now I'm curious. Now that you're reclassifying everybody. Let me clarify. He is the black version. You lost another pound. I made this. It has a space.

Speaker: Oh, man. Jeff. Jason, maybe the Monday shows aren't a good look for you. Oh, nice. They said nice. I like that. I almost bought Legos yesterday because I saw them. They got so many cool things. Nice. Good job, Joe. If I could actually, Jason, if I could actually sit down, his name is Jason. You said, Joe, that's funny. No, I was talking to Joe. Oh, that was funny. She said you lost the pound. That's hilarious. I'm sorry.

Speaker: Yeah, she was telling me she lost another pound. She lost a pound. She lost a pound. Hent the comma. Read the comma. There's two of them. You're right.

Speaker: Joe has lost a ton of weight. Like I don't even recognize her and I've known her almost 30 years. She's gonna lose another 160 pounds. No, she's now at 160. You're scaring me over there, man. I'm sorry. I was gonna say, you're making her out to look like a balloon. No, that's what it's doing. Speaking of someone... Now, not 168 to go.

Speaker: give somebody that's lost a shit ton of weight. I blame Jeff for messing up my mentality by fucking me up talking bullshit. Jeff over here apparently working for the wolf bull. He's trying to get us canceled. He's just like, watch this. What should I do tonight? Speaking of somebody that's lost a lot of weight, did you ever see Boston legal? I never watched it. But I remember the show, yes. I know this show, but I never watched it. There's a gentleman of color. He was a big guy, and he played a cross -dresser on the show.

Speaker: I have to look him up, but he's in the neighbors the the new show center of the entertainer The neighbors and he is almost unrecognizable. He's lost like he's cut himself by third Yeah, but does does he look like remember when now remember when what's his face from the today show? I

Speaker: Al Roker. Remember when he lost all that weight and he looked sick off? Yeah, it just didn't look right. It's similar to Al Roker. He's got the Al Roker. Almost unrecognizable. The big guy that lost weight. Who was it? The guy that played Clarence.

Speaker: I think it was. That's what I'm thinking. He's talking about Gary Anthony Williams. Oh yeah. He did. Oh yeah. He did drop a ton of, he lost all that weight, but he didn't lose any weight in his head. So it looks like a bobblehead.

Speaker: the neighbors it's my new favorite show it's only 30 minutes show but it's it's hilarious because it's it well i won't get into why but uh wasn't he in uh undercover yeah i was training soul playing the undercover brother yeah yeah yeah yeah exactly thank you and holy shit he popped on i was like oh my god is that dude oh god he had me hollering undercover brother yeah he did he was on soul play that movie was

Speaker: That movie was something else. That movie was fucked up on so many levels. I got brothers. I can't listen to this all without thinking about him dancing today. Right? Right? I can't listen to it. Every time that survivor song comes on, I lose it. That movie was fucked up on so many damn levels, but it was hilarious, man. It was hilarious. Oh my god, that shit was funny.

Speaker: But yeah, when he popped up on screen on that, on that, the neighborhood, I was like, holy shit, is that him? I had to look it up. Cause I didn't recognize him. But he's lost a lot of weight in his face. I mean, he's still, his head's looked bigger in his body, but, but like, if you see him, look at him in sole play. He's got, you know, he's got thicker cheeks and a thicker neck and he's dropped a shit ton of weight.

Speaker: Yes, and I was like good for him. It looks like it looks like he did like gastric bypass or something I'm not 100 % sure but but literally unrecognizable

Speaker: And then, of course, he's got to go to now, too. He's got to go to now, too. So, yes. I'm wondering if that's what leads to that look, where they don't... I think it is. They look good because they've lost a ton of weight, but they look a little off, almost look sick. I wonder if that's due to the gastric bypass surgery or something like that. Well, I think...

Speaker: Yeah, got a lot of skin really heavily obese and you drop it over 100 pounds. I'll foot yeah Even even Christina reaching even Christina reaching and Lionel Lionel Richie's daughter Nicole Richie Denise Nicole's Nicole is in the cold The one that the one that used to hang out with you look at him

Speaker: Yeah, exactly. I thought she was so sexy when she was chubby. And then she lost her weight, and she looked like a bobblehead. And I'm like, I'm out. So the same thing about Janet. Janet gained weight. I said, so? I still take it. So? Hey, I'm into that. Ain't mad at Janet, ever. But when the driver, she lost a lot of weight. Jody and I were just talking about her the other day, because that new documentary came out. I didn't watch the movie. Jody started watching it, and she said it was phenomenal. I was like, I got to watch that, because man, I love me some Janet.

Speaker: She is such an amazing talented woman. What's his name? Eddie Griffin from fucking The New Kid? You look at my pants! I'm on your ass. I'm on your ass. I'm into that. Yeah, I want to check that documentary out too. Jodie started watching on Lifetime, I think. Well, that's probably why I don't watch that shit.

Speaker: It's probably on YouTube it's on it's on demand. I mean I'm gonna I'm gonna watch it here Later on down the road Neighborhood but I'd like to I missed a show signature entertainer did when he had the he was a preacher. That was pretty good

Speaker: That one was pretty good. Um, I don't think that's too big or whatever, but he, he got some good shows. He's not getting the credit he deserved and he can ask some parts. Well, in that movie with Tommy Lee Jones with the, with the, the cheerleaders that witnessed the murder, what was it? I forget what it was called. Cedric's hilarious. The cheerleaders? Yeah. Tommy Lee Jones. He's a, he's a U S Marshall.

Speaker: are texas rangers and so i got and as it goes for he has to protect these these girls and women's protection man house thank you brian i'm a sort it's for senate day -to -day plays a former informant and a preacher and and he really come out in uniform he used to be a cheerleader for the same team as the girls and holy shit

Speaker: He does a black, black flip into the altar. Holy shit. I would have lost it. What up, Brian? It was a good movie. Good movie, funny as hell. Funny as shit. Something popped up on my feed the other day. And Ivan Reitman died.

Speaker: He had to see that. It did come up on my news. I thought he died a while back. He was a producer or director or something? Well, he produced and directed the original Ghostbusters. And Animal House. Animal House and a whole bunch of movies.

Speaker: A lot of the movies we know and love. Yeah, he just died two days ago. Yeah, it was two days ago. And I saw that on my Facebook feed, and I was like, damn. Director, producer, screenwriter. But he was sick. Meatballs, stripes, Ghostbusters, twins, kindergarten cop. The 80s comedies, yeah. Yeah. He was right up there with John Hughes, man. Beethoven's six days, seven nights, Euro trip. Space Jam. Space Jam. The original Space Jam.

Speaker: First one bullshit doing He he did private parts the Howard Stern movie I did not know that wasn't a bad movie when I did watch not a terrible movie My super was hilarious that movie was funny Oh when you do a road trip, oh, wow Road trip funny movie. Well DJ Quill is literally the funniest dude on the planet

Speaker: I'm sorry, DJ Quill. He sits on that bench when the girl he loses Virginia can do and the bench is all covered. Cause she's weighs like four times as much as him.

Speaker: I was very mad at him. Did you kill Tina? The woman that was in the town went to that movie theater. We saw that shit. I said, you know what? I'm not going to lie. I would have got with her too. She said, I could see you with it. I said, yo, she was cute as fuck. But he's in the bus and he pulls out her panties and they're massive. And he's like, did you murder her and she did?

Speaker: He came out there, I'll never, he came out there front, I said. And then he dancin', he dancin' on a stage with the frat boys. Like, dude, this is a black fraternity, they're gonna know. That shit, he killed that role. Oh my god, he killed that role. I'm like, what are you doing? She said they're over there in the other drawer, I was like.

Speaker: How she know where the colors are? All right, fuck it. You know she been around, man. She been around. Check this side drawer. I said she was sexy with braces. You know what that does to a motherfucker? That shit was hilarious. That dude that was in that movie, though, that kid is funny as hell. He's done. He's been a lot. He did. What's that movie? There is a Larry the Cable guy. What's the name of that movie? Oh, wow. He caught me off guard.

Speaker: Yeah, he did that one. He was also in The Core with Delroy Lindo. The Core, I love that movie. Yeah, that was a good movie. He was in, I think it was TV show Z Nation. That is actually a good show. And him and that dog and stuff, oh my God, such a good show.

Speaker: If I look something up right now my computer I need to restart it. He was on scrubs for the longest Call call calls. It's cool He was on scrubs for a really long time too the new guy that's right he was I

Speaker: He was also in Hustle and Flow. I forgot about that. He was in Hustle and Flow? He was one of the producers when he was making a song. Yeah, when he was making a song, he was one of the producers. That movie that you did with Larry, the cable guy, was DJ, or Delta Farce. That's what it was. OK, OK, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Army movie or whatever. That movie's funny. He's one of those guys that, if he's in it, I'm watching it. I'd watch that dude read a phone book for an hour. It'd be hilarious.

Speaker: There's certain actors there's certain actors like if Morgan Freeman does a movie I'm in Yeah, for the most part if Nick Cage does a movie Brian no, you're in no, you better make it three Oh my god, he's like

Speaker: You better make it three. Sean Williams Scott is one of those guys. He's a beast. Unfortunately he's not... That movie he did with The Rock? Even The Rock was like, I was expecting Stiffler and I got fucking... Stiffler.

Speaker: Speaking of The Rock, I finally did watch Red Notice the other day.

Speaker: It's good, right? Ryan Reynolds was killing me in that damn movie and it made you really think like The Rock wanted to kill that man in real life because Ryan Reynolds was Ryan Reynolds and you could tell like when they were filming that movie he had to fuck with The Rock so much because in the movie he fucked with him constantly. Like one party was a part of the movie.

Speaker: Yeah, there was one part in the movie when he was talking about them being best friends and he reaches her and he starts rubbing the rock's chin. Meanwhile, to see the rock had to be serious. I was dying. No, but the only movies that I seen that I didn't see the two of them.

Speaker: On that movie? Yeah, there was a good twist in that movie. And the red notice? Oh, I gotta see it. I gotta see it. Yeah, check it out. It's on Netflix. It's pretty good. I did watch The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard. Was that funny? It was good for what it was. There's two parts to that movie. For what it was, exactly. There's two of those movies. It's good for what it is because it's a little bit different.

Speaker: version of Selma Hayek than what you're used to, and then it's Ryan Reynolds in the same jacket. Oh, she's genius. What is that? Yeah. I have no idea. I don't know. Either a bot or somebody from a totally different country. It's from Twitch. Joe Mama, 69.

Speaker: I always forget that we're on Twitch. I know, so do I. Because I never complain. By missing the Hitman's Bodyguard's Wife or Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard, if you don't see it, your world is not going to end. If you do see it, your world is not going to end.

Speaker: So it was about as good as the first one was then. Yeah, it was about as good as the first one. It wasn't amazing. It's not a must -see, but it's good to, like if you need, if you got two hours to kill. If you got syndication time. It's a lot of the same jokes that were repeated from the first one. You know, there's a couple twists in there. You see, you know, a couple

Speaker: You know, a couple of the characters in the movie you wouldn't expect were going to be in that movie. Morgan Freeman's in it. Antonio Banderas is in it. Antonio Banderas. Oh, Morgan Banderas. Yeah.

Speaker: Morgan was hilarious. And I can't, you know, after seeing Expendables, the third one or whatever, when Antonio Banderas was in it, I don't see him any more other than that character from Expendables. Oh, that's horrible. But he killed me in Expendables. No, you know what? Every time I see Antonio, I think Desperado. Desperado. I still see him as Desperado.

Speaker: Those are great movies. Because I love movies. And Salma Hayek is gorgeous. Salma Hayek's been going right there. Yeah. Oh, no. Don't get me wrong. I would never kick her out of bed. No. The Desperado movie series were all good. Oh, yeah. Zorro. Johnny Depp was a badass in that movie. Oh, you're talking about it once upon a time. Yeah. It's part of the Desperado series.

Speaker: Yeah. Well, have you seen the original that's in Spanish? No. Yeah, Jeff, because I make it a habit to watch movies in Spanish. No, no, no, no. The only reason I say that is I bought the DVD of Desperado and it had, I bought it used and it was a two DVD. And I don't like to read, so I'm not watching it dubbed or sometimes. It's actually really good. It's, it's the, it's like the alternate version. It's the, actually the original.

Speaker: The only character that's the same, in the beginning of Desperado, you see Buccio come in to the bar when he's playing the guitar. And that Buccio is the Buccio from the original Desperado movie. It's called the Mariachi.

Speaker: I don't want to watch it if it doesn't have Steve Buscemi in it because when Steve Buscemi comes in and he's telling the damn story. It's got nobody you know in it. It's got nobody you know in it. That's a nova acting motherfucker right there. Steve Buscemi is an acting ass. That motherfucker is an, it's another one of those guys. He's an acting ass. And you will literally, if he's in it, you're like oh I'm in.

Speaker: Even as slow as Boardwalk Empire was, he made that show that good. That was a slow ass show. That motherfucker at Armageddon, that motherfucker killed me at Armageddon. I was supposed to have some fun before I die. I just want to feel the power between our legs, boys. But Steve Buscemi is one of those guys that you would totally, if you saw him at a bar, be like, dude, let me buy you a beer and let's chat. Not even about your career, just to hang.

Speaker: Agreed. What the fuck is this password? Damn it! Son of a bitch! Sorry. I got my other computer to find out. Yeah, he is a Tarantino guy. Yeah. What's the other guy's names? They're brothers in the act. Nick Turturro and them. I like those names. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker: Well, fucking Sam Jackson is a Tarantino guy too, cause Sam Jackson's in a lot of Tarantino movies. That movie was something else. Really? I liked that movie. That movie was something else, but that was probably one of the more confusing Tarantino films I ever watched because there was about 45 different things going on all at once and they were all coming back to each other and I'm just like,

Speaker: Where the hell did I miss that at? You know a movie that I would love to get your take on it, Tony, is that, what's the fucking, Django, Unchained. I like the story, I like the fact that the marshal could shut everything down, I like the fact that he was going to find his wife, but they threw the N word around too much.

Speaker: The hateful aid did the same thing. But it's part, but it's also part of the times. It's a part of the time for me and I will tell you as somebody. Like if you would have taken it out, it would have taken away from the movie. If I would have taken it out, it was still an old slave, slave removal and they pissed me off. I'm tired of watching them personally.

Speaker: And I think one of the reasons why we enjoyed, I enjoyed Black Panther so much was because we were seeing in our natural environment with some honor instead of trying to get out of some other shit like we've been seeing in movies all of our fucking lives. And I'ma just be honest with you all about that. Hateful Eight had a great story, but they did him, they did Sam Jackson's character, Dirty, even though he did old boy's son, Dirty as fuck. That was cold blooded as hell. But Django Unchained,

Speaker: I knew what they would do. Yeah, Kitell. Harvey Kitell? Yeah, Harvey Kitell is a beast. That's another beast. God damn, that's another beast. Somebody better put him on that damn list. There's a group of actors that you forget about. Brian said that Kitell is a cartoon. I forget about them because they're not fucking Brad Penn or whatever. Well, Ray Liotta is like that. Yeah, exactly. Thank you.

Speaker: Uh, I love Ray Liotta, but he's like that. But I'm with Tony with Dejango and Shane. Like I understand putting it in there for the time period thing, but it was, it was way overdone. It was too much. Yeah, but if it wasn't way overdone, it wouldn't be a tarantula. If it wasn't way overdone, you're right. Now, Quentin Tannehill can write a fucking story out. Yeah, you can. Every one of his movies are like three hours long. However, I fucking love

Speaker: There's a word on five Bruce Willis Mickey Rourke Sin City. I lost it. Oh, I love it. I love it. I even love I think Mickey Rourke is so good in that goddamn movie Mickey Rourke is underrated as a rapper. I mean as an actor even though he is highly respected in acting. Yes But that movie was phenomenal

Speaker: You could have taken the gore out, and it still would have been great. Yeah, but the gore was all done black and white to make it look cooler. The gore made it look cooler. It was done in that weird cartoony thing. Yes. I'll get flack for it. I'll get flack for it, but bringing up Mickey Rourke.

Speaker: One of my favorite movies of his is Harley -David is the Marlboro Man. I fucking love that movie. That was an old -school movie. That movie is fucking genius. Nobody has a name that you don't know. They're all named after either after a booze or a cigarette. Yeah, it was a plug movie. A name tag movie, if you will. I remember when it came out. And Pasadena as the hub of the world. You know, I thought...

Speaker: When he was in Bullitt with Tupac, he did good. Right, right. But Mickey, and I love them in expendables, I don't care. He played the hell out of that part of the expendables. No, he was really good in expendables. Dolph fucking London. They got to show that he's an intellectual as well. Yes. And that man is stupid smart. Yes.

Speaker: Yes. And watching the movies he was in in the 80s, you would never guess that that cat was that far. So they made him a big guy, which he is. Well, he was a big guy. He was a big guy. He was a beast in Rocky. We still scared of that motherfucker. Put him in a ring. You know what's crazy about? You know what's crazy about Dolph London?

Speaker: And in real life, he's a damn genius. Like, he's an MIT grad. That's what we were just saying. That's what we were just saying, yes. That's what we were just saying. Literally, they got to show him as an intellectual. And you look back at him, if you didn't know anything, and you saw him in the 80s movies, you'd be like, this guy must be dumb as a proxies. And what's kicker is, what Stallone's been doing with his movies, he's trying to bring out those people as to who they really are and their characters. He did that with Chuck Norris. He did that with Dolph Lundgren. You know that about the Megan Expender before.

Speaker: I know. That's one movie that they can just keep making over and over again. Because when they clown on each other with their catchphrases, that shit kills me every time. You know who's going to be in it too, right? Who? Who? 50 Cent.

Speaker: He put a meme up with like a flak vest on and I guess he tagged the expendables fall away. No, this ain't really happening Is it I mean how many more tough guys I got to get easy Brian calm yourself you will find? Was once bitten by a rattlesnake and after four days of pain and suffering the snake finally died finally died may it rest in peace I

Speaker: Chuck Norris fears Glick. That's a prudent fact. Chuck Norris looks under his bed for Glick. Chuck Norris had a karate school. I built it. Chuck Norris went to Burger King and got so mad he kicked it and it became a Wendy's.

Speaker: That's pretty good. Those Chuck Norris facts are fucking hilarious. That's pretty good. Want to kill an hour? That's pretty good. There's a website called chuckdorsfacts .com. I made one of them myself and nobody liked it. I said the weather predicts Chuck Norris. There's a whole list of them. He says, virtually made Chuck Norris. But there's so many, no, in all seriousness,

Speaker: When it comes, okay, we all know I'm a vehicle buff. And if you've ever seen Lone Wolf McQuaid. No, but I remember when he came out. That's the one where he came out of the dirt. Yeah, they bury him. He's in a Dodge Charger. Yeah, he had to come out. I heard about him. Like the Bronco stuff. And it's got, it's a 392 blown. And he's sitting there, he cracks a fucking beer.

Speaker: Pours it over himself, drinks some of it, and kicks that fucking blower on and drives that truck right out of the dirt. Fucking best scene ever. I heard about that. When I was a kid, these guys were talking about it in the playroom. We was hanging out. I was listening to that shit. I think that came out around the same time as home. I was not a big Chuck Norris fan, because I used to hate Westerns as a kid. When my dad, that scene was coming up, my dad was like, Jeff, Jeff Conner, you got to see this. This truck's cool.

Speaker: Yeah, you got to show the man shit. You got to show him shit. Well, and then, and then, and I forget, Breaker Breaker. Was that, was that, was that movie considered a Western? No. No. No. But he used to, he used to do Westerns. His genre of movies kind of Western 80s, 80s Westerns. Well, he did Walker, Texas Ranger, which was like a... Well, I mean, have you ever seen Breaker Breaker? I love Western movies, man. Breaker Breaker, he drives that Ford outline van that's got a 4x4 kit on it.

Speaker: And it's got a hawk airbrushed on the fucking side and That was that movie made me want to buy at a Ford alkaline van And my dad was like you have expensive taste boy. Let me ask you something. You're the vehicle buff. What is your professional opinion on the worth of the conversion van?

Speaker: Well, when it comes to conversion, man, you talk about the vans that are basically like a camper, but it's still the same size van. Yes. I wouldn't use it as a daily driver, but if you don't want to get your CDL and buy a big fuck off RB, and you're just going to occasionally... Road tripping it, motherfucker. Road tripping it? I hear your mama glit too small now see for just me.

Speaker: I would be able to save a hotel money, yes. Yes. To save hotel money. I've actually looked at a couple of them because my wife and kids and I are talking about bombing across Mexico while I work and stuff. And it would be perfect for us because our kids are small. But later on in life, when my kids are bigger, no, it's done. It's a good short -term solution for a long -term problem. Because I noticed they stopped making them.

Speaker: Well, they stopped making it because people don't buy. They used to. I wonder why the maintenance was killing them, wasn't it? Well, it's because on top of that, you can basically do the same thing in an SUV.

Speaker: Now, you don't have the luxury. You have the room for the people, but you don't have the luxury of like putting a bed in the back of them motherfucker having a TV. Well, I mean, well, I mean, you can nowadays because you get the pimp my ride. Just get your van and make your house.

Speaker: What I don't want to do is roll around looking like a pedophile. I mean, you got to have windows as long as you don't go to full on pants back in the 80s and 90s. You remember that. Yeah. Yeah. But but that's the thing people are doing now. That's that's kind of the trend in the van life. People are buying the van and they're buying vans and they're converting them into little house like they they have

Speaker: They have their TV, their bed, they have a living room and a kitchen in it. You got a studio bedroom, barely a studio. Basically, but they still put the kitchen in there, a little kitchenette in there and stuff like that. And then a lot of them will get a Planet Fitness membership. And when they go to the gym to work out, then they take the shower and stuff at Planet Fitness.

Speaker: Well, you can even, there's people that have built up, Michael's trying to get in, by the way. I'm noticing that. I don't see him.

Speaker: Tiny home. Oh, no, he's he's he's he's uh, he was um, he's not at home right now I don't know. I don't I don't know where he's at. I don't put too much in for long as he's good. No, he's fine Long as he's good. Yeah, but that's what I told him because he said he might be late If you go on to youtube put in van life, you'll see a lot of I mean dope setups. Yeah, I mean I would do it I would totally do it if I didn't have you know, a bus is too big

Speaker: You can make a fucking bibram out of it. Yeah, you can make a bibram out of it. And make a living room, yes, with a microwave and a little, like an RV, yes. Yeah, but I mean, you buy a Greyhound bus, you basically turn that into an RV really easy because they're so damn big. Well, yeah. Well, I mean, I saw one dude, he lives in a fucking Chevy Astro minivan that's got a shell top on it.

Speaker: Mm -hmm so he can fully stand up and and once again, it's just him I doubt this dude gets laid very often because So he probably has no problem whatsoever, I mean if that's what you're worried about but I mean I

Speaker: You save money, you know, if you have a job where you can work remotely from, you get your little mobile hotspot, you put your day in, you're still making money, and then you're traveling the country. You go wherever you want, whenever you want, you know.

Speaker: My wife and I have actually talked about doing it. And you can't drive big fuck off RVs through some of the streets of Mexico. Even Mexico City, you cause track jam.

Speaker: Well, not only that, but you decide to go drive cross country in Mexico. We're going to be doing a news story one night about you and your wife being chopped into bits. Even Chris and I talked about this the other day, even if I bought the truck, I want it's dangerous to escalate avalanche version, version, version of

Speaker: I've had a long Escalade. That third row is tight. No, no, no. I'm talking about the Avalanche version, the EXT. It's a pickup. Oh, the Avalanche, yeah. It was the what? And you can get killed for driving something like that. Yeah, you could, if you don't know what you're doing. So, like, there was a Mormon family that had...

Speaker: They're a big family. They had three SUVs. Jesus. And they were taken. Got you. They were wrongfully accused of being part of the car, of opposing cartel. And their SUVs got shot up and burnt. Wow. And they were just literally going from one town to the next. Wow. So it's driving something. Stay out of Mexico is what you're telling me. I got you. Well, I mean, no. I mean,

Speaker: There's a reason I'm not ever going there. If you fit, for instance, the Chevy Silverado or Ford F -150 pickups, you cannot drive that from long distances because you'll get, they would want to try to steal your truck. Engines, right? No, the truck, because they want to use it. Okay. They want to use it for their issues. As opposed to buying one, they'll just steal it. Yeah, makes sense.

Speaker: I mean, they can afford to buy it. I wasn't always allowed by the citizen. Why? We're going to throw it away. They'll use it for a drive by and then ditch it somewhere. Exactly. And, you know, so you got to deal with all that shit.

Speaker: Like, that's why I was talking to my wife the other day. Instead of buying a big fuck -off truck, I'm buying like a Dodge Durango, four -door, or a Chevy Colorado. I like Durango's, it's a very comfortable vehicle. I had one as a rental, that's a very comfortable vehicle. Well, and the same for Harley's, as Jose, they'll, it's one of those things. As opposed to buying it and then just ditching it later, they'll steal one, use it, and then ditch it.

Speaker: Harley's, what they do, the motorcycles, they can do the parts, very easy. Tyhose, I think they did it for the engine, because the Tyhose and the Escalades had the engine that they can put into anything, it was the big V86 liters, and they held the most stolen engine out of all the vehicles back in 2010, I think it was.

Speaker: I will buy a custom van for road trips. Hell yeah, Brian. I'll do this. My wife and I talked about it. The van would be the perfect option for us because we're not going to be mistaken for cartel members. Because we're in a van, not an SUV. It's a van. Exactly. You're mistaken about carrying a gang in that motherfucker, aren't you? No, but it's not a sought after vehicle to buy the cartel.

Speaker: Just driving motherfuckers to the border and pushing them out of the van Make sure when you make sure when you're being a coyote Get close to Georgia and drop some of the little muscled up ones off

Speaker: You'll never let you live that shit down. But oddly enough, like if you buy a sports car, nobody's going to give you, give you flack. Well, they're not, they're not. I mean, you don't want to roll around in a fucking Lamborghini. Yeah, but they're not. But they're not. No, I can't think of the word.

Speaker: Yeah, I know, right? Like a sports car isn't gonna give you the versatility or, you know, it's not gonna go places at a big, big ass fucking SUV or truck is gonna go. Right. Damn.

Speaker: Stupid big their campers stupid. It was bigger than their damn house Jesus Christ like when they when they first got it and they parked in front of their house They couldn't see the house. You couldn't see the damn house. I should you not you could not see the damn house It was so big. That's hilarious. I was just like really it's just the two of you

Speaker: I used to want to win a big one, too. I heard they had a fish to maintain. That's the one thing about traveling in Mexico that makes me a little bit nervous about driving, because that would be the ultimate thing to do, would be to drive around, just work from wherever, and just drive around. And apparently, what I did when I came here was a big no -no. I drove from Ohio to Cancun, and by myself,

Speaker: And - Yeah, Jeff, tell Tony how long it took you to get to Texas from Ohio. It took me two weeks. No, no. Texas took me like 24 to 48 hours. It's a careful - No. No, to Texas from Ohio. You know what he told him? To Brownsville, which is where the border crossing is. This crowd's awesome. From Ohio to Texas took me like 24 to 48 hours.

Speaker: You know what he told me? Originally it took him to get from Ohio to Texas. It felt like that. He was like, it took me like four or five hours to get from Ohio to Texas. I was like, what the fuck are you doing? Jesus Christ. It takes me eight hours to get to Tennessee. It takes me 12 hours. It felt like nothing. It felt like compared to the drive from the border to Cancun, which was two weeks of driving.

Speaker: The from Ohio to Texas was nothing. That is 24 hours. Okay. I see it on the map now. Yeah. Yeah. No, we, we Googled it because he said that I was like, Oh, your mask not adding up, Jeffrey. You said you went to Brownsville. I went to Brownsville across the drawsville. Yes. What's all the way.

Speaker: But the biggest problem for me driving in Mexico was everything said fucking Spanish. I didn't speak Spanish then. So what the fuck you go down there for? I came down here with a company. Got you. So you went down there for business, fully understood. Fully understood. And then when the company went under, I just stayed. Yeah, you stayed there. But I had all the equipment, everything in the back of my car.

Speaker: Now, Brandon, nobody gave me shit, because I was driving a 2000 Dodge Neon. You were such a freaking tourist. I was driving a 2000 Dodge Neon, and nobody gave me shit. A small car. That's an SUV for you, right? First of all, good tells me yes. But literally, instead of stopping at hotels and stuff, I was trying to save money, so I would pull up behind a gas station and take a nap. And apparently, it's amazing I wasn't killed. Yes.

Speaker: I've been in rest stops in the States, and cops woke me up. I pulled over and said, no, you're taking that one time. Not just cops. Not just cops. I went through some towns where I should've been. But do not fall asleep on the side of the road. You're picking you up at something else next time. Yeah. Mm -hmm. Yeah, real talk. But my wife was, I told her that. She's like, what are you, crazy? Right. I'm like, well, fuck, I didn't go. I was a dumb kid.

Speaker: It was too damn risky you survive I need you to go to church this weekend. All right. Well, I mean with my job in the military Nobody's gonna mess with me. What was your job in the military military? I'm a sniper Okay, we're changing mice have you been to the VA oh Here we go

Speaker: Do they have a VA in Mexico? Excuse me, good. Let me have this one. And I don't mean to be wrong. Go ahead. Have you been to the VA now? Yes or no? No. Why not? If you don't mind me asking. There isn't one here. Why didn't you go before you left? Never thought to. The thing is, when I left the military, I was fed up and done. And the military was the last thing on my mind. Most people, when they leave the military, are fed up and done.

Speaker: Yeah, I wanted to be because my my co used to say all the time that I killed more men than cancer word I Don't know where I was Being your friend for 25 years. You've definitely killed more in my brain cells and cancer money Give me one good second. No, not you crazy. I am looking for

Speaker: You are funny. I'm just talking to other people about it. That's all. Because Jeff's going to make me work today. No, I haven't seen one yet. Let's see what we got here. What are you looking up? VA hospitals in Mexico.

Speaker: Well don't find one because Jeff argued with me about there being a Best Buy in Mexico and I literally found it and sent him the damn address. I knew there was a Best Buy but the problem is the location of the Best Buy is so fucking far out of my way that I never go to that mall.

Speaker: No, you're still, you're too, you keep going to Bob's stolen electronics aporium. Then you gave the man a damn job flying our plane. Jeff, what day are you sitting down doing nothing? What day are you sitting down doing nothing?

Speaker: Never. I've always got something to do. Well, fucker, you're going to sit down. Uh, foreign medical, foreign medical program. You got, let me see what we got here. I got to find the city. All right, I'll do that later.

Speaker: Y 'all finish talking. I'm blue. I'm on my shit now. I'm on my shit. It'll be way out of my way. Tony's about to get all his VA stuff and his vet stuff. See, I'm on top of that. I see them. I'll put them in our group chat. It comes down to, I don't like to leave my house. Your former job pursuing so many categories of qualifications, I'm gonna need you to look into this shit and start fucking around.

Speaker: I'm gonna tell you this is somebody who's receiving VA benefits and I was international guard. I pissed more people off by the fact that I was international guard and I get it. And I also pissed people off with my percentage because they don't think we do shit but I've been over there three times. And I was an aircraft mechanic. I worked on 16. Damn, that thing is huge. I just put in our group chat on Facebook. Joe sent me a picture of the camper in the truck. Whoa.

Speaker: Yeah, it's stupid big and it's it's just two of them Yeah, I think I think yeah, I think I think if you go to once like it has two separate area codes They're two different zip codes on that fucking thing. It's so big. So if you're in the front you're in Orlando if you're in the back you're in fucking, Georgia

Speaker: Gotta have a passport to go from the front to the back of the camper. That thing will create a bridge. It'll create an Uber to get from one side to the other. A foreign medical program where you're at. B .A. foreign medical plan. I need you to find your medical records. If you don't have them. I'd have to call my mom. You'd have to call you who?

Speaker: You can put them up online. I won't tell you how to do it on hamsters. I did do it all the time on hamsters. If you want to see it. You did do it one time earlier. Longest time ago, you was on that VA benefit kick for a minute. Stay on that fucker. I'm in the VFW. I stay on that shit. I stay on that shit. Anybody up here, you could have been in the VA. The VA can help. Yes, ma 'am. Yes, ma 'am. I got them. I got them. All I need is a little monkey ass to do where to go.

Speaker: I need a little munchies sheet to go. And honestly, honestly, I had to look up the munchies. Yeah, I know. I'm glad you found it and decide what he found. This is this jackass up here. Um, I could find your medical records online. We could see what you would diagnose and put your claims in. I'm pretty happy. I know you're happy, but you're going to find it. No, I have, I have some, I have the,

Speaker: Like I said, I can get him FedEx to me about a day. You can also pull him up online in 10 minutes. Yes, ma 'am, I'll be acting up. They mess with me, I mess with them back, so please forgive me if I go too far. I still apologize for what I said the other day, because you came up with that what, and it hurt my heart.

Speaker: I don't know what you're talking about. I never do anything of this sort. I don't mess with you. I don't say anything out of line. You're the one that, you know, you're the one that felt the need to share one of your toys that you wish you had.

Speaker: when you were younger, not me. You're the one that divulged that secret information. I ran out of options. You jackasses took my other choices. And then you really didn't help matters done. Then you really didn't help matters done by showing a picture of what it was. Out of all the lists we've done, that was a hard one because I was like, oh, I'll get fucking ripped. I mean, like, I had two that you guys rejected because they're technically not toys. It was a tough list. But if you searched them, they came up as toys.

Speaker: Yeah, it was a tough list, but it was tough because, again, like I've told a lot of people, when they think these lists are so easy and they want to add their input, you, I had four, your first four picks were on my list.

Speaker: Granted they were backups and they were reserves But they were your four four your five pigs or six pigs were on my list, right? Yeah, it's it's it's but and that's when you're doing the list you have to think okay I gotta get I gotta put this higher up on my list to pick because somebody gonna fucking steal it Yeah, that's what happened with us

Speaker: Yeah, like the Transformers. That was number four on my list and Tony took it number one. I mean, I just went ahead and got it out the way. There wasn't even a woman playing around. And it's not that I was mad, but I was like, damn it, he stole my shit. And it's not that you stole it. It's not like you knew I was coming up with it. But it's one of those fuck I wanted that. And if you listen to the first episode that we did the list, Chris and I were screaming at each other. You motherfuckers! Yeah, I was screaming too. I was screaming from the audience. Yeah.

Speaker: Yeah, because that's some of us. Some of us don't go for low hanging fruits or fermented fruit. No, but that first list, we didn't worry about low hanging fruit. No, we just let it go. No, the first one Chris and I did was just being Chris. Like that was even before Mike joined the show. Mike joined the show in the second list. I can't even remember what that first list was. I wonder if I saw it. It was actors, male actors.

Speaker: Male actors that what? Just male actors. Starting five male actors. Yeah, there it is. Because we had like Bruce Willis, Robin Williams, Chris Scott. Chris got me on Robin Williams. I had Mickey Rourke on that list. He was my fifth pick. And that's where I got the nickname Woke Jeff because I went a little woke. I would have had Eddie Murphy, Robin Williams, Will Smith.

Speaker: I need you to save. Yeah, mine would have been Eddie Murphy, Robin Williams, Will Smith, Billy Zane. I would have put him down. And if you don't know who Billy Zane is, Billy Zane, Billy Zane on Posse was ruthless. Billy Zane's been ruthless in a lot of shit.

Speaker: He was hell and people forgot he was in for justice. Billy Zane, Billy Zane was a great actor. He was in and on. I'll have to add after that. Oh, I got to find somebody who's good. Because that's an interest. I like the list. I love I love that's why I'm okay. When y 'all do them lists, I got to be a part of that shit. Man, I got to think of one more.

Speaker: Well, that's what I told Jeff when it came up, when I was trying to think of new ideas for this show. Oh, I got it good for you. Wednesdays. And I told him. Wednesdays, when I announced them. When I win my fifth consecutive in a row. No, you won't. Five times. I've become Booker T. I've become Booker T. I've become Booker T. I've become Booker T. Five times. Five times. I'm even going to do a clicker -rooting right here on the bed.

Speaker: I'm going to bust my shit. I'm going to fucking fall out the window and everything. They're good. They're rooting. Ma 'am, I was in the international guard, which is the state branch of the Air Force. I did that for 20 years. Yeah, Tina. I think Tina's going to win the chatter's box this week. Yeah, I think she got it. Yeah. Yeah, I think she got it. I think she got it.

Speaker: Speaking of the list, if you guys are listening to this, you still have time to get on social media. Nonsense nonsense on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. It is all posted. Go vote for the starting five. Go vote for who has the best list. We already know it's me, but you can go vote anyways. I'll go ahead. I'll go ahead and give you what, what the starting five that we had. It was back when we called it the fantasy five. Well, Chris had Tom Hanks, Rob Williams, Harrison Ford, Bruce Willis, and Mickey Rohr.

Speaker: And I had Keanu Reeves, Leonardo DiCaprio, Morgan Freeman, Sam Jackson and Clint Eastwood. Motherfucking Banish is in the house. What's good, Banish? Straight Pride Day? What is that? I didn't know that was a thing. It is. I didn't know we were allowed to do that. Yes, Banish. Yes, Banish. Would you hear now?

Speaker: I don't know if I know Banish. No, the only reason is that it's like... I guess I do. Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman talked about... What's it called? National... What is February? Black History Month. And he doesn't like it. Yeah, I saw that. Is it really? I like this. Can't have a white history month.

Speaker: They're taking away our white holidays, man. We don't get Columbus Day anymore. You can't have a straight pride day because it would go against the gay pride day. Gay pride day. They're working on it, trust me.

Speaker: They're working on it. Oh, okay. First and foremost, I've been to gay pride parades and those motherfuckers are fun. I'm sorry. Straight pride. They fucking straight pride parade is not going to be as fun as the gay pride parade. I will lead the back. I'll be the damn. Yeah, exactly. I'll be whatever. I will not be the grand wizard though.

Speaker: The game for I praise man, there are so much fucking fun them people. Hey, they have fun New Orleans you ain't I want to go do you see Marty? Grows on my bucket? No, no, no down. Oh, yeah I lived in the States not

Speaker: everybody of everything everywhere i will everybody and it's a party of everything streets days christians eighties everything nobody gives a fuck oh because it's all about seeing some movies at that point well not for them not for some of the dudes they ain't trying to give a mess they got their own little corner yeah yo and i was like

Speaker: It's on my bucket list I want to go to Mardi Gras I want to go to New Orleans I want to visit New Orleans

Speaker: I'm going to go there. They could have been though. I'm just saying they could have been. But like I think Rio Rio Rio.

Speaker: I know people that have been to both. They say carnival's better. I was like, geez, that's crazy. Well, a buddy of mine, Chris, I think you know Brandon Noblin. He went to Woodstock, 99. Oh, yeah, I know Brandon. Two years in advance, yes. Two years in advance. Now, it was a year in advance when I went back in the late 90s, so you probably know him because.

Speaker: I absolutely, I want a hotel right on Bourbon Street, so I don't got to go far. I can be on my balcony. I can enjoy it if I want to go down. I'll book that bitch. I'll book that bitch five years in advance if I have to. I'll tell you what, you try and do it now for next year and see what happens. Oh, no. No. I'll book it in advance. No, I'm looking in advance. You have to book it in advance. If I said, sign now for next year because there's a calendar and I can find it because me and my older son's mom, the first time over, me and her went together. She had a 25 -year calendar where Mardi Gras was.

Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. So, she may still have it. I don't know when it is. I don't know how to find out. Hold on. Because the last day of Mardi Gras right before our Ash Wednesday. Right. Yeah. I want to go. I want to go to Mardi Gras one year. It's on my bucket list. I also, I just want to visit New Orleans and. Okay. In general, I want to go down there for the history. I love you seeing New Orleans funeral. I know that seems. Ash Wednesday is March 2nd. So, that's going to be your funeral right before I catch your ass on fire.

Speaker: Hell, one of my fans and everything. Mardi Gras starts this weekend. Damn, this weekend? That's gonna be my distraction. This weekend is when it will start. One of them...

Speaker: One of those bands from New Orleans that plant the funeral, that's going to be my distraction before I set your casket on fire. You missed our funeral discussion, Tony. Our funeral discussion, holy shit. I never laughed so hard when we were talking about coming in with Molotov cocktails or getting one of us mounted.

Speaker: I've always said that when my wife dies, I'm gonna have her stuffed and keep her in the corner in a bent over position so I can still have my time with her. But I've always said I wanted to be stuffed. I know. Obviously it was meant for a joke.

Speaker: But you said you wanted to be mounted and stuffed. That didn't sound right. No, no, I want to be I want to be stuffed. And my kids have to keep me for a week at a time. But they have to like, put me in position. Like, like if I'm there, I have to be like sitting on the couch with a beer in my hand, watch a football or something like that. I wouldn't trust that shit. They're going to kick you in the face every damn day. Like my son will probably be hanging out playing video games or something. We got we got into the point. We got so we're talking about that we would actually prefer a Viking funeral.

Speaker: And if our families don't do it, the other will come running down the aisle with a Molotov Cocktail, screaming as we throw it down. He wanted this!

Speaker: Jeff said he was gonna go get a big truck and get one of those builder bear stuffing machine We win an hour on on different shit we're gonna do it each other funerals

Speaker: Your mom said your dad was in the army and her brother was in the Air Force. If they haven't gone to the VA, tell them to go and if y 'all need help, call me. Hit me up, damn it. I do this. My buddy Dave, he's on 100 % disability because his Hummer blew up in Afghanistan. It should have been a question.

Speaker: Well, yeah, well he was on, he was on like 60 % for a while. And right before he moved to possible land. Exactly. Three different 100 % on that event. Right? I'll be here all day on that. Oh no, I'll get a, I'll get a, I'll get a, I'll hook him up to like a tow truck or something. Just put a winch on the front of my truck and just start, you know, make it go in high gear so it's not slow. Vanish you crazy.

Speaker: I'm still trying to say what I'm gonna do. I said I'm gonna be buried in New York. Can you say that? I come up with a chain, wrap it around Chris' feet, and then I go and I hit the button for the winch. It's like, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Speaker: I might. There's your sandwich stuff. I've been waiting on you. Spanish said when I die, all my roommates scattered over Disneyland, but I don't want to be cremated. That is Florida, and it can be arranged. No, that's Disneyland. Disneyland is California. Oh, is it California? I ain't going anywhere near California. Disney World is California. I ain't going anywhere near California. You're on your own there, Banish. I'll go to California. Switch it to Florida. That would just be a normal day in Florida. It's a five -hour drive for me. I could take you. Yeah, right.

Speaker: Get a helicopter. Just right. Get a get a wood chipper. Put it in the helicopter. Fly over Disney. Oh, that's messed up. Oh, that's cold. That's cold blooded. That's what he wants. That's his that's his dying. His dying wish is to have his remains scattered over Disney. He just doesn't want to be cremated. So, this is twenty one or twenty two. I'm thinking this is twenty two.

Speaker: I kind of do a frame decor. My wife did that just so you know. We built this house. I let her do all the designs and everything. Even though it's separated. She said she didn't want the house no more so I get to keep it. That's what I've been working on maintaining it. You can take it. It's fine. I saw I saw a meme the other day and it is 100 % true.

Speaker: his wife's out of town and she gets a call from her. He gets a call from her and says, honey, are you getting everything done? He says, yeah, as he's drinking coffee from a saucepan. Yeah, I'm in that boat. The Bachelor of Life is a beast. Do you hear me? This is the shit. I put my hot dogs in to cook and I forgot about them. And I went over there to go put them on a plate and I was like, ooh, I don't have any clean plates.

Speaker: Put some ketchup on top of it. You don't even need a foot These German bratwurst, I can't remember the name of the brand but they're so fucking good

Speaker: The company that makes them has a cheese filled, a jalapeno, the German, and then another one. And the other one sucked. The third one sucked. But the cheese, oh, there's a mushroom frilled. The mushroom frilled was nasty. Has mushrooms in it. That sounds gross. I mean, I like mushrooms, don't you? I didn't realize it until I brought them home. Sounds gay. Oh.

Speaker: Speaking of food, liking food, not liking food. Tony, you're another one of those evil people that eat their steak wrong. If Meryl serves me correct. Hellas, come on. I converted another one of your time. Slowly but surely. I will have her fully converted. Jodi and I went out to dinner the other night. She likes her steaks well done as well.

Speaker: Well, we went out to dinner the other night, got steaks, and she was like, I just don't know how you eat that. It's like, looking at it. And I was like, here, try a little piece. And I was like, I bet you'll like it. And she tried to bite and she's like, oh, it is actually really good. I was like, yeah, you know why? Because it's got all the natural juices and flavor. It's all in there. It's not all cooked out and dry. She's like, I just can't get past the way it looks. So how do you eat your steak?

Speaker: Medium rare. Still running, as Joe said. Basically, give me a lighter and point me to the cow pasture. And I'll go warm up a piece and just take a bite off of it. Once again, the proper way to eat any steak is to knock its horns off, wipe its nasty ass, and chuck it down here on the plate. The only thing I would add to that was light a match over it for 30 seconds.

Speaker: You fucking be disgusting. When you cut into it and all that blood stuff comes out on your plate, then you can, like, if you got a baked potato, you can take the baked potato and sop up the blood and everything. Oh, yeah. All them juices are flavoring. Oh, it's good. Makes a man out of you. Puts hair on your chest. That's why we got these glorious beards. I thought we had these glorious beards. The only thing I wish I could do is thank the cow that bragged before I killed him.

Speaker: I can't even pray for you right now. I like my world. I remember the days of mad cow disease. Everything has to be well done for your best interest. I'll be mad. Give me the mad cow disease. Worth it. Never mind. Never slowed me down. I'll take it. What do women get, Chris? Okay. What do you mean? What do women get?

Speaker: I'm not sure what the answer is. Yeah, but my lady loves my beard. And since I'm a 70s porn kind of guy, that's my limit on shit. Y 'all 80s. I'm like 70s porn, it bothers me, man. My lady loves my beard, and there's no better feeling to be laying in bed with her than to just start running her fingers through my beard. That is amazing.

Speaker: Eating raw steak. I told you, I got him again. Snap his head back. I tell him, I said, lady, do me a favor. Make sure it's clean and trim it, and I'll work the hell out of it. Look at that. That hole, it's a garden. Let it grow. No, no, no, no, no. It's a weed patch. Rest in peace to one of my ex -girlfriends, who used to call her the secret garden. And she kept it trimmed all the time. I thank her. I thank her. I thank her.

Speaker: Look at that, it's pubic hair on your face. Nothing worse than going... Just watch your teeth. You thought your teeth had fallen on your teeth, it wasn't like a set of boots. She's like, ow! I'm sorry. Sorry. Wait a minute, this one's great. Don't drink all my soda, I need some for my crown piece tonight.

Speaker: Certain things are hard to find and oh, I thought you were saying you found I thought you said you found them in your house like Nick Cage looking for national treasures and you just like who doesn't remember in my house And

Speaker: I was at Walmart the other day picking up groceries because there's no food now because I'm a dude. And I got there and I saw two liters of Dr. Pepper and I picked up six of them bitches. You guys are coming home with meat. I'm taking a break from Dr. Pepper. I've been killing it for about 20 years.

Speaker: No, my wife does not like it. My kids will drink it out from under me, so I have to keep it here in the office, put it in the fridge when I want one cold. Of course. My two liters. Do you put it in the toilet thing in the back of the toilet? No, I'm going to get me a little mini fridge. The tank. Put it in the tank.

Speaker: Instead of water, you put in ice and just have Dr. Prechter's in there. Don't want the rock broke the dog.

Speaker: the toilet anyways, so there's no lid on top. The dogs broke the lid to the top of the toilet. That's because when we first moved in our backyard, the dogs would constantly jump the wall and get out because it's only a four foot wall and there was no gate. Oh, they had a ball doing that. They had a ball doing that, didn't they? Oh, yeah. And so while I was getting the materials gathered to put up a fence and a gate,

Speaker: We kept them here in the bathroom at night and during the day they could run around the house. They broke the toilet cover and in order to replace it, it's cheaper to buy a fucking toilet. Okay. What are you going to do? It's a strong -headed dog.

Speaker: Well, my dogs are not small. My dogs are not small. You got wolves, toilet tank. They're medium sized. They didn't make the tank. They took the lizard. The lizard. He has medium sized dogs, but he has 35 of them. Yeah, I have eight dogs. Eight? Yeah. I have four puppies and four big dogs. Jesus. That's why I work all the time. The full world is ridiculous in that house. Actually, it's not that bad. Horseshoe. I go through 30 pounds a week.

Speaker: I've had single dogs that go through more than that a week. Been done with that toilet. My dogs get fed three times a day. Wow, that's pretty good. What kind of dogs do you have? They're months. For instance, it all started. I went to go get cigarettes one day and I came across a little puppy. Brought that little puppy home.

Speaker: And then three days later, found another puppy, brought that puppy home. Ended up keeping both. One kept going. Once she got bigger, she, she climbed out through the window and run around the neighborhood and fucking anything move. And she got pregnant. She had six puppies. Some bitches are like that. And we kept two.

Speaker: because there is too cool not to keep. And one of them became a fucking monster. He is just under 70 pounds. Don't need a job. Yeah, I've told him. He ain't listening. He had no shit. And then the other one looks like a fucking rabbit. His hair is hairy.

Speaker: The 70 pounder is literally real short hair almost looks like a white lavender And his head is fucking massive. And then the other one looks like a Like I said like a rabbit with a little long hairstyle. Glick has improved. He's getting more comfortable. And then the male dogs. The male dogs ended up fucking the other female

Speaker: right before it moved in here and she gave puppies the day we moved in. And we've had them ever since. Sometimes in life you just have to cut the whore in your life free and let her go.

Speaker: So you should really let that bitch set that bitch free. They literally become part of the family. That damn dog's like the neighborhood fucking drinking fountain. Everybody gets a turn. Well, what's crazy is when I found out one of my exes told me she's a veterinarian. She said dogs can get pregnant by multiple dogs.

Speaker: So none of the puppies look alike. Except for the fact that they're mostly white. I can't, I can't, I can't. The dogs are in a mori. You are not the father of this one. You are not the father of the white one. You can obviously tell who his father is because he's going to be as big as the 70 -pounder. And the other ones aren't going to get much bigger than Fucking Cocker's Bandits.

Speaker: What happened to not keeping the puppies? That ship has sailed, sir. About six weeks. You have to wean them off their mother before you can actually give them away. And by that, it takes like six to eight weeks to wean them. And by the time they got weaned,

Speaker: Attached. Everybody got attached. But I have one that doesn't look like he's going to get any bigger than a fucking chihuahua and one that's going to be well over 70 pounds. But if you let them all in the house, they will all try to get on your lap. Of course. They all think they're lap dogs. Because they're all going to be up under you, which means you're protected.

Speaker: You can't get rid of them. When you come home and sit down, they go right up under you and they're just gonna pass out. That's what you want. That's what you want.

Speaker: because they mark the territory, not necessarily by urinating everywhere, but they go around stiffer for anything different. They get used to this around this environment. I mean, the surroundings in the environment and you're part of it. So you got protection. I can, I can leave my windows unlocked, my door unlocked where you could, you could literally walk into my house anytime you want. You ain't walking out. You ain't going to make it out because they, they are the sweetest fucking dogs you ever meet once they know you.

Speaker: And you are protected. That big dog, he will bite your ass. They're going to shake you out? We actually called him Pig. Because when he was a puppy, he used to snort. And he sounded like a baby pig. That's hilarious. I'll fuck her out of big dog where he does. But we have Gorda, is the oldest. And we have Pilata, because she looks like a pirate. We have Charlie, because he used to have a little Hitler mustache. And I couldn't call him Charlie. I couldn't call him Hitler, so I called him Charlie Chaplin.

Speaker: It says a lot about you that your first thought was Adolf Hitler. He had a Hitler mustache, dude. He has a little patch right there in his nose. I'm just saying, you're doing a real fine job of working on the cancellation tonight, Jeffrey. We have Pig is the biggest. Then we have Lucky, Indiana.

Speaker: Can't wait until the day he forgets to take his copy of mine confort for off the shelf. Y 'all see it in the podcast. Jeff, got you some reading material behind you. She's a queen. Y 'all are sick. All right, let me put the board a bid. Gentlemen, this has been an honor. I got to put the little board a bid. Yeah, we already wrapped this up. It is Monday, a Sierra Lee edition.

Speaker: Yeah. It's been fun. It's been an honor. Ben is good seeing you. Mama Glick. Good to see you. More appreciate you coming through. Who else we got up in here? I'm going to be available every Monday. Brian. I'm the only one home. Nobody can yell at me. Well. About spending time. Chris.

Speaker: Good night, Joe. Good night. Good night. Like I told you earlier, Jeff, and I told Mike the same thing, you know, when Mondays, uh, you know, I plan on it being me and Tony, uh, but the invites go out to you and you and Mike as well. So if you guys make it in, you make it in. If not, it'll be Tony and I here acting the fool doing what we do. Um,

Speaker: But that's Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays. Y 'all are required to be here or it'll be a write up, no call, no show. Well, Wednesday I might be a hair late. To the cage. You'll be putting the cage in my basement with the others. Don't worry about that, Tony. Wednesday I might be a hair late because my wife is coming home on Wednesday. Thank God. Because I'm bored as shit.

Speaker: I'm worried about y 'all's audios. Let me turn my YouTube off. What are you gonna play on Saturday? What are you talking about Saturday?

Speaker: actually i actually have a brand new blacktop mojo to close the song out tonight i also want to use it in the second break on wednesday but since it's valentine's day i figured i'd play it tonight oh jesus christ

Speaker: Alexa stop. Wednesday, I am playing that as loud as it goes. Literally. And I mentioned my wife, my wife and I were having a conversation yesterday. We were doing a video chat. And I said, I don't know how Chris does it. I don't know. And I got to say, I'm proud of you because I don't know how to do it because my wife's been gone a week and I'm horny as fuck. Cause you used to have it in the round all the time.

Speaker: Yeah, it's not that I'm not. It's called self -control, my friend. You should learn it and practice it. Well, you know, that's between us. Don't worry about that. I'll do some pain when I find mine.

Speaker: Do some pain. Y 'all be good, gentlemen. I'm a holler at y 'all. Appreciate you as always. Appreciate you. I'll see you before Tony. I'll see you Wednesday. Absolutely. Absolutely. Close this. Close this damn boy out. Sorry. Like we always do. I do appreciate you guys listening. Tony and Jeff, I appreciate you guys hanging out with me for a couple hours tonight. We will be back with a brand new episode.

Speaker: Maybe a new champion, probably not. Highly unlikely. Wednesday night. It is pretty close right now. It is scary close right now. Yeah. So hopefully between now and wow.

Speaker: Yeah. Hopefully between now and Wednesday, we'll get some more votes in. I forgot to put the poll on Spotify because I was trying to get the episode up before tonight, but no biggie. But yeah, appreciate y 'all hanging out with us. Appreciate y 'all listening. If you're not already, check us out on social media at Nonsense School Nonsense on Facebook, Instagram.

Speaker: TikTok and Twitter, you can go vote at all those places for the starting five. You got till Wednesday. You can also join us live right here on HAPS every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday nights. Download the app. It's a free app. Give nonsensical nonsense a follow. You'll get the notifications that you come on here and get in the chatters box and shoot your shit with us. Four idiots, sometimes three, sometimes two, either way. We're just guys with mics that say what we want. And then you can get every single episode of the podcast on Anchor, Spotify, Google Play,

Speaker: and Apple Podcasts. Basically anywhere and everywhere you get your little podcast and jollies at. And if you are a listener and you are a fan and you want to take part and join into the chatter's box starting five where you guys can create your own list and send it to us and we can get you in there for the voting and maybe you can be a champion like me or maybe you can be a loser like the other three. The five time. You will see. Tune in Wednesday night for the clickery.

Speaker: but you can, you can send your, your, your list or you can send an email, let everybody know how great I am or tell me I suck much like Irvin did Saturday. Fucking prick to the email to the email. He said two of them bitches that said I suck too. Yeah. That's all click sucks. That's all two of them motherfucking emails, but you can shoot us an email at a what's the email Jeffrey? I don't got to do it to me. Nonsense. Go nonsense podcast at gmail .com.

Speaker: But with that being said, since it is Valentine's Day, our boys have a brand new song that they did just for Valentine's today, Black Dolla Mojo. And I was gonna save it for the break Saturday, I probably still will play it for this break. With that being said, happy Valentine's Day everybody. If you had a Valentine's, if you were just doing a single Valentine's thing, whatever, happy Valentine's Day, and a very special happy Valentine's Day to my lady.

Speaker: Not you, Jeffrey. My real lady. Not Mike's lady. Not my ex -wife. You saw my comment. You saw my comment on... She commented back. I saw that and I was like, yeah, just be careful. But with that being said, a little Blacktop Mojo to wrap the show up. If you guys aren't already, check out Blacktop Mojo. Give him some love. Let him know we sent you. And I actually heard a snippet of this and I like it. So it'll be a little bit different. I want to see Tony's face.

Speaker: There ain't no sunshine It's a cloudy day When it's cold outside Nobody's there for me I guess you'd say

Speaker: What can make me feel this way, my girl? Talking about my girl She don't call me honey That stings like a bee

Speaker: That was queer. That was queer. That's the talented guys right here, man.

Speaker: She took all my money Gave me back my name And she left me alone

Speaker: You're good, you're good You're good, you're good

Speaker: So those guys are crazy good. That is an interesting remake. They need to release it. That should be a hit song.

Speaker: They posted a snippet of it on their Facebook page tonight, right before we went live. And I was like, oh, I got to hear the whole fucking song. And then while we were doing this, it popped up on YouTube as a notification. And I was like, let me see if it's the full song. And it was. And I was like, these motherfuckers just time after time.

Speaker: But that was Blacktop Mojo, and it is, and it even says in the title, their rendition of My Girl. So it's - That's a decent rock version. That is a decent rock rendition. And they did work on it. I like the work they did with it, honestly. A little nice little twist there at the end of it. That was good. Yeah. That's gonna be in the rotation. It'll be thrown into the rotation.

Speaker: But with that being said, Tony, I know you got to get a little man to bed. I got to get myself ready to lay down and relax. It's been a busy day. So I appreciate y 'all hanging out. We're going to get out of here. We'll be back Wednesday night at six o 'clock to do a whole new brand new show. Much love. Appreciate you guys. We will see you Wednesday. I'll take care of peace. Goodbye motherfuckers.

Speaker: in the stream already. Stop with the lag. Just fucking in. It won't go away.