Transcript
Speaker: Play my fucking intro, Jeeves!
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: What's going on everybody? Welcome to nonsensical nonsense. It's Wednesday, so we're going to do what we do. Hopefully you guys are having a good week so far.
Speaker: If you're not already, go ahead and check us out on all social media at nonsensical nonsense on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Tic Tac. Don't forget to join us live every Monday and Wednesday and Saturday night on YouTube and Twitch. You can come hang out in the chatters box. Shoot your shit with us. All that fun jazz.
Speaker: And you can get every single episode of the podcast on Spotify and everywhere you listen to podcasts that just search up nonsensical nonsense. Give us a follow. Give us a like. And if you be so kind, we don't ask for a whole lot around here, but if you could give us a share, that would be awesome. We greatly appreciate that.
Speaker: We do have an email as well at nonsensical nonsense podcast at gmail .com and we do have a merch store if you're interested in that with some shirts and hoodies and you know, all that fun stuff at teespring .com slash nonsensical nonsense pod. I'm Glick. As always, we got Jeffrey in the house. Tony's Tony is currently showing his back.
Speaker: shaving his back. You can hear him. Yeah, because as as as we discussed before the show, we all know Tony has no facial hair. He has no hair on his head and he doesn't shave his balls. So, and he said I'm shaving.
Speaker: what's going on brother thanks again for joining us I would say you I would say you to keep my balls out your mouth but since you have so much fun enjoy yourself now that was well played if somebody had their balls in your mouth first of all it wouldn't be the first time a man had their balls in your mouth
Speaker: and it has been a long time since anybody's had your balls in their mouth. You're basically celibate at this point. You might be a born -again virgin. But, I mean, if you play your cards right, there is a Sasquatch on the cross the pond that probably treats you right. First of fucking all, whoever has my balls in their mouth is none of your business and don't be jealous. Now, granted, you better be careful because as soon as you go over there and you have that good time, you're gonna catch a case as soon as you come back, so. Exactly.
Speaker: These days you catch a case with whoever you mess with. That's why I said yeah. You look at someone wrong and catch a case, Jesus. You've never read a UCMJ. Yeah, I was there and I still never read it. I read that motherfucker. Damn. Smoke was good. Oh boy. Smoke, I'm gonna need you to get ready. This motherfucker's gonna get the business. You done broke. Nope.
Speaker: Smoke's gonna get the business. The other night I did a broadcast on gun laws on Twitter spaces. I know what it'd be popped in. I need you to finish it for me. Oh, I'm finishing it. And if you listen to Snapchat, you would have already known that you already crossed the line there, sir. Who's that? Me? You. Yeah, you. I said in the Snapchat. I was talking about food and you were talking about goods.
Speaker: Said in the snapchat tonight that this was not gonna be a topic of conversation No politics None of that stuff Plus your gun your whole your whole argument with guns is so damn invalid anyways who am I? Yes yours the guns aren't the fucking problems. I
Speaker: bullets are. I'm ready. You can do this all day long. It don't mean anything, Tony. We're not having this discussion on the show. And just because you go like this and you talk real fast, that doesn't make your point any more valid. And I can hear that and I know what you're doing when you're doing your life, but I can't even see you. I can just hear your voice.
Speaker: And I had something that's meant to make me tougher. I just bumped an ad and I liked it, so I wanted to wear it. I saw that. I saw your post on Facebook. You and the kids going to a strawberry fest or some shit like that. So, honest aspect. Honest aspect, and I'm serious.
Speaker: If you listened to it and you heard it, what was wrong with it? I'm about halfway through it. The first thing that's wrong with it, as I tell you to all the time, Wikipedia, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube are not valid sources for information. I got that. Especially Wikipedia, where you can go on there and you can change anything. So if you do know Wikipedia, tell people you're on Wikipedia. No. Because you said you were looking at gun laws on Wikipedia. Let me get on this. I referenced that it was from Wikipedia, not specifically Constitution and Purpose. Did you notice that?
Speaker: don't tell people you're on Wikipedia. No, I don't think I really appreciate your conservatism. Anyways, you lunatic right winger. I've referred to you. You have crossed the line. You have ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen,
Speaker: You never need a reason or you ever need to show your kids why you do not do drugs. Please go look up this full on YouTube and Twitter and you will know why you should not do drugs. Is the definition of just say no to drugs. This motherfucker called Cody a conservative and I'm like,
Speaker: Wait a minute. Have you met this dude? You said it. Yeah. I was like, I'm pretty sure Tony leaves left. Let me tell you something. Literally, I was explaining the show today. Did you say the shit he said? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I read it. I read everything. I was watching you guys go back and forth. This is what I'll be talking about. I don't know what the fuck's going on with you, bro. I don't know what your problem is. I don't even know what your issues are. But I never came at you like that. And that's the third damn time you done came at me.
Speaker: Something wrong with you. Don't get yourself checked out. Change that bong. Change the weed. Change the smoke. Change the pipe. Change your environment. Clean the house. Change that water. But stop coming at me. You could barely remember what you did yesterday. You're not going to barely remember what I did this morning, and I don't do drugs. So, you know. Yeah. Now, I've only listened to about half of your broadcast so far, to be honest with you, Tony. I'll finish it. I've been working on it.
Speaker: But, you know, for people, the honest analysis, I told people during the whole broadcast, if you see something different, no, leave it in the comments. You ain't got to be an asshole while you say shit. The problem with a bunch of you up here, you can't have a conversation. I'm creating a fake account. I'm creating a fake account. Everything you say is wrong. But you're literally just making Chris, which means you're good at asshole remark. Yeah.
Speaker: And that's like parl for the course. Nothing or him. Yep. Yep. You're doing. I thought I'd do no Dean at all honesty. I ain't seen him in so long. That's the part that bothers me. I never wanted him negative on anything. And he's coming at me like that. That's that bullshit. That's why motherfuckers on the internet stay off this motherfucker. Something wrong with y 'all, man. Something wrong with y 'all. So I stay off the internet because there's too many people that are fucking looking for a fight.
Speaker: at the end of the day, you're just going to get more upset with me because I'm not going to fight with you. Yeah. I mean, I'm gladly, I'm gladly happy. Yeah. I'm gladly happy as a guest on the show. And then I'm still waiting on you to show me what that shit that you said I said, too. I'll be waiting. So now you got two and you let me know. We can talk a lot. Yeah.
Speaker: No, I'm talking to please. Cause enough. You always say that shit. You said, I said, you got that smoke. I really didn't have done the world a favor. You say that all the time, Tony. You say it like seven times a show on here. Opinions are knowledge.
Speaker: No, I don't. No, I don't. I've never heard you say. You said some silly shit. I'll give him, I'll give you that. You said some silly shit. Usually. Yeah. You said some silly shit. More than likely just to say silly shit just to say it. But I have never, I have never heard you utter those words. There's a quote. And y 'all listen to my reports. I've never said those. If you ask 100 people. I wouldn't say nothing like that drunk. Here's the thing though. If you ask 100 people a question, you'll get 100 different answers.
Speaker: So asking opinions are like assholes. Everybody's got one and they all stink like shit. These days you can ask, yeah. It all comes down to you believe what you believe and fuck everybody else. These days you could ask 100 people if the sky's blue and the grass is green and they're going to get 100 different answers. And they're all going to square their answers right. Yeah. Facebook told me so. Don't come with me if I don't come with you.
Speaker: I just got to say, come on, man. I'm going to go ahead and say it because that was some dumb ass shit. You want to talk about I'm spending rhetoric and I speak so much shit. I don't even fucking remember. You can barely remember since you read prior. You've done that live on the broadcast. We can pull that up. See, I can give you the proof that I tell you. You can't show the proof that you told me I said. This is apparently the Tony D. The Tony D rant. It's no longer nonsensical nonsense. As a friend, Tony, I have to tell you something. You are fishing.
Speaker: You're fishing, and you are the basis. I don't fish, maybe fishing for me. Okay, but here's the thing, here's the thing. Once again, all opinions on assholes. Go with what you believe and call a day because you'll never - I didn't even do what I believed.
Speaker: I get that. What I'm saying is. I didn't even do what I'm saying. That's the part that pisses me off. Everybody wants proof of shit. I had to proof in a whole damn broadcast. Everything was specified specifically on the whole broadcast. You could have read it while I was speaking it. I did it like that. I designed it like that specifically on purpose. And then you're going to tell me that it's ridiculous. You're going to say what you say up in there?
Speaker: I've watched you. Yeah. Well, here's the thing is here. No, but here's the thing. Anytime you go political at the end of the day these days, anytime you go political and you put your political views or you or you quote unquote go to a website and read something. I mean, you guys I went I went I went to the history channel and you guys argued with me about the Ku Klux Klan. And then you both went to Wikipedia to proceed to tell them. Yeah, when we were talking about the Ku Klux Klan.
Speaker: And I went to the history channel webpage and was looking at the history of the Ku Klux Klan. And, uh, then you both, both of you proceeded to go to Wikipedia and tell me what Wikipedia said. There's not the broadcast I was listening to today, but any, any time you, any time, in today's day and age, whether, whether.
Speaker: whether you mean to or not, if you bring up politics or you do a broadcast that's based off of political views or anything related to politics, intentional or unintentional, you're fishing for views and retweets and listens and stuff like that. And unfortunately, at the end of the day, you're going to get a bunch of idiots that have their own opinion of it. And instead of getting worked up on it, you have to be
Speaker: Uh, you have to be aware of the fact that somebody's going to come and say something silly and they're going to have a totally different, uh, different meme in the world is I have nothing to say today. Uh, but I want to hear an argument. Here's a stick and somebody will argue, no, that's not a stick. That's a branch. You know, it's, it's, people will argue over the dumbest shit.
Speaker: And then when you get mad and worked up, you feed into that and you feed the baby birdies. Kind of like you guys give me shit when I drop a grenade and I walk out of the room. Yeah, exactly. I fed the baby birdies and I let you guys do your thing. You see, I fuck with y 'all. We fuck with each other.
Speaker: We've had the gun talk, you know, we don't necessarily agree, but we did. We did. We did. And, um, I wanted to, we knew it was certain. We do do a certain extent. Yeah. I mean, there's certain things we agree on. There's certain things we disagree on, but at the end of the day, no one
Speaker: We have common sense. This go to one side of the room. Oh, wait, but if you say this, then you're over here. Actually, you know, you got 100 people in their own little space because nobody's no two people are going to 100 % agree on everything that you set down as this is what it should be. When what I did was just read the law. I didn't make an opinion. I just read what was written.
Speaker: Yeah, but you got the law of Wikipedia, so that's - Yeah, from Utah. Well, it's - it can get broken down even farther than just state.
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, yeah, that's true because like I think in certain like the difference when at the end of the day, the gun laws aren't necessarily the problem because if if if you want to do something illegal with the gun. Yeah, that's the reason why if you want to do something illegal with the gun, guess what? There's an illegal way to get that gun.
Speaker: I speak that if you listen to it, it breaks down. There's nothing they can do about it. I'm only halfway through it. I'm still listening to it. I haven't heard of it. It should be within the first 30 minutes. Maybe 35. I don't think I've made it. Yeah. Based on what I read and what I saw, they're not going to do nothing. They're not. Listen to that one part right there. They got all their bases covered. And I was like, wow. He really was like, wow.
Speaker: And you also have to remember different types of guns fall into different different categories don't fall into the same category of laws and stuff like that like handguns and semi -automatics and stuff like that because you can buy shotguns That was made after the law was written I remember growing up
Speaker: Yeah. I remember growing up, you could buy a shotgun at Walmart. I don't know if you still can on that one or the sporting goods section. We stopped up. You can, you can still get ammo. But, but shotguns fall under a totally different wall and category and stuff like that, because technically they're used for hunting their, their, their gun, but they're also considered a tool. Right. Much like Jeff.
Speaker: I will let you have that. It's the same thing. I'm like, if I really wanted to hurt somebody and I couldn't get access to a gun, I can get a crossbow at Walmart.
Speaker: And you don't need, you don't need shit to get a crossbow. I think you can still get a crossbow. I would not surprise you. But at the very least, if I really had to, I know how to make a bow and arrow. If I want to take somebody out, I can do it silently and destroy the evidence before I even go. Yeah, there you go. Example number two. I could buy these at gas stations. Yeah. Based on the law that I read, if it's not an explosive used to
Speaker: shoot a projectile, it's not pretty much classified as like a firearm. Yes. Well, it's not considered a major weapon or a felony weapon. But like I said, I mean, we've all seen Walking Dead, Darryl Dixon is a fucking badass with that crossbow. So if I really wanted to take somebody out,
Speaker: I can go quickly and quietly and nobody will know where it came from. And on top of that, there's literally a, you could take a CO2 cartridge and build it into an umbrella and it will fire a BB that will go underneath the skin. There was a guy a while back, he actually built a BB with SARS in it and shot it into somebody.
Speaker: This is like 15, 20 years ago. It was like a spy device kind of thing. But I mean, if you really want to take somebody out, there's other ways to do it without a gun. And legal, so to speak. Fuck are you?
Speaker: I mean, Tony, you're old, you remember this, zip guns. You can build them in shop class. Zip guns, I mean, literally, my pops was telling me a story about him and his buddies making zip guns in shop class in school.
Speaker: Well, I mean, more people are making them, making them on 3d printers. Well, yeah. The 3d printed guns. You want to talk about not having to worry about registering. I'm not understanding. I'm not understanding the 3d pretty guns, but I haven't looked into it deep enough. I heard about it, but I haven't looked into it. I don't understand. They don't look like a normal gun either. In the airports. Yeah. Exactly.
Speaker: I mean, there's there's a guy there's a guy on YouTube I think it is that is completely 3d printed an entire Iron Man suit wearable like he can wear it and watch it looks like it's metal but it's all plastic 3d He's done Darth Vader
Speaker: That dude's on TikTok. He's got a ton of shit. He's done a bunch of... He printed the shield he got in America. Yeah. And, like, he's got these giant swords. And they're pieces. You glue them together. And if you use two -ton epoxy, they don't break. The plastic will fail before the item will break. I mean, it's... If you have the ability to 3D model,
Speaker: You can 3D print anything. And 3D modeling takes like, I don't know, like 45 minutes to learn. Jeff's gonna have a fucking grabber because of all the goddamn McDonald's heat. You're gonna have a goddamn aneurysm because you let these idiots on the internet get to you so much. Oh, me? I can see it in your face right now. Yeah, you. Yeah. You're so worried about what people say on the internet. That's gonna give you an aneurysm. I'm not worried. I'm not worried. No, but it's also getting you worked up.
Speaker: and if it's getting you worked up, then you're gonna have a grabber before me. No, he's gonna have an aneurysm. There's gonna be a vein in his head that explodes. If you stood on the show, that's all I asked. If I was good at you, the line gets crossed for some reason and I'm like, why is it like this a while like that? That's what pisses me off. I was actually dancing. Yeah, but as far as the line, yeah, but it seems like somebody disagreeing with you is crossing the line with you anymore. Look at what he said and look how we said it. Get the fuck out of here.
Speaker: That's what we're talking about. It's like you're, you're, they're efficient. People say a lot worse things to me. I have too. That's what I get to try to treat people better than that, but okay.
Speaker: Well, the only thing is treat people the way they want to be. You want to be treated, but that doesn't apply anymore because the anatomy of the internet. I treat people. I base the way I treat people off the way they treat me. I'm not cool with anybody until I see that they're cool with me. I'm not going to be your best friend just because you come into my life. Now you come in and you hang out and you're cool and then shit like that, then we can be cool. Yeah. Plus.
Speaker: At the end of the day, I've been telling you for a long time, you run with snakes on these apps. So, they're starting to bite. They're starting to bite you. They're starting to bite you. There'll be snakes everywhere, but there's a difference between snakes being everywhere and you keeping snakes in your circle. If you're going to wild, I barely talked to him.
Speaker: That's like if I walk, that's like if I walk past the same pit bull three times a day, or three times a day, I kick that pit bull in the head. One of those days, that pit bull is going to bite the shit out of me. And then I'm going to go, I can't believe he bit me. See, pit bulls are dangerous. It's kind of where you're at right now. You're going, I can't believe these are saying this dumb shit to me. Because they've been saying dumb shit to people for a long time.
Speaker: They just haven't been directing it at you, but it's been going on all around you. Yeah, exactly. That's the point. It's like you're playing Russian roulette with a bunch of retards and eventually you're going to get shot. Not all of them.
Speaker: There's some good ones in here. It's true. I mean, there there's always there's there's me and Jeff. Yeah, exactly. That's about it. Yeah, but there's there's always there's always good people that you talk to on the internet. It's rare that those people post because I don't know. They're they're they're watching. I don't know how smokey find the **** out so fast. This one, he probably heard it from here. Okay, cool. But smokey finding out **** and I'd be like, oh god.
Speaker: I have an idea. I won't. I won't put it out there, but I have an idea. Are we announcing the the Snapchat that you sent us, Chris? Or are we are we waiting? I haven't decided yet. I was going to say because Tony, I don't know if you saw what I saw. I was like, holy shit. This is a fangirl like you read about.
Speaker: I have not seen. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: Oh, no. Well, I do. You get used to it, but you miss it when it doesn't happen. So my life will never be complete unless Jeff sends me 25 TikTok videos a day. Please Jeff, send them again. I miss them. So, uh,
Speaker: Connor, if you're up, hit me up, dude, because I'm seriously pissed about Red Dead Redemption 2. Chris, you and I were talking about it before the show. My fucking... Well, he plays, apparently. Fucking... My character dies. I think Connor's awake, so he just sent me a picture of what looked like a rat that got barbecued on the barbed wire electric face. I thought you were gonna say a dick. I was like, what the fuck are you guys doing? No. No.
Speaker: Speaking of speaking of Connor came in a little hot and heavy tonight. Don't forget to go check out our social media guys and pinned at the top of our Twitter and our Facebook page at nonsensical nonsense. We have Jordan's information and stuff like that for her go fund me. Like I said, if you guys want to donate, but you don't want to donate on to on to the go fund me.
Speaker: And you want to do it more anonymously. You can always hit us up on our PayPal. Anything that comes in on there will be going 100 % to her. Yes, she did. She did hit us up saying thank you. She didn't.
Speaker: But there's her her GoFundMe, Jordan Wilkerson. If you don't want to donate or if you can't donate, if you would just share it, just get it out there. She is getting very close to her goal, unfortunately.
Speaker: the medical treatments and stuff like that are kicking her butt and she's pretty exhausted. I was talking to her the other night. She reached out and thanked us again and I told her I said, you know, if you're up to it and it's totally up to you, you are more than welcomed on the show. The doors open.
Speaker: You can come on the show and kind of tell us or let everybody know your situation and stuff like that. We appreciate that, Chrissy. It's on both of our Twitter and our Facebook pages at nonsensical nonsense. Yeah. Besides her difficulties, the girls had amazing little set up.
Speaker: things happen to her in her life, you know, the Air Force, how she got hurt in the Air Force, all that stuff. It's an amazing story. I would definitely like to talk with her on the show. But much like everything else, like I said, if you guys want to be and I don't know 100 % how GoFundMe works, but if you want anonymous, whatever our PayPal is nonsensical nonsense. So, you know, and I'll make sure every dime goes to it is kind of a
Speaker: podcast donation from the nonsensical family, so to say. But I did say, I told her we would keep talking about it, keep it posted. And hopefully she's getting close, hopefully she'll hit her goal before long. So - Nice. That'll be nice because from my understandings, the VA is absolutely amazing, been treating her amazingly.
Speaker: they're doing their job like they're supposed to. Um, it's not the medical bills that she's so much worried about as much as student loans, because, um, I guess the air force basically told her or the college or something that if she didn't, uh, finish this, this quarter or whatever she was in that she would have to pay back everything. So, you know, it's that kind of stuff that she has no way of controlling because obviously she's going through chemotherapy and
Speaker: and in and out of the hospital and everything like that. That's what this money is for. So she can not have to worry about violent bankruptcy or anything like that. And she's 25. So she's just a baby, in my opinion. Compared to her. If you're under 30, you're a baby. Yeah. That's literally, I do want to give a shout out to one of my coworkers. She just turned 40 today. Absolutely. Yes. Nice.
Speaker: Happy birthday, yo, bitch. Happy birthday, Tiffany. Tony, you'd like to, Tiffany, she leans a little left. It's amazing her and I are as close friends as we are because we don't got an eye on almost anything. I can find out, Chrissy, in all honesty. I don't live by her. She lives down in Tampa. Go Bolts.
Speaker: Yeah, Chrissy, go ahead and send it to our email. And Chris, you have Jordan's contact info and we can go ahead and let her know that we have, she can send us an email address and we can go ahead and have all letters and correspondence go through that so we can get them over to her when she needs them or if she wants them. I feel that some days.
Speaker: But yeah, I can forward her emails, I can send them to her. But we definitely wanna keep her story out there and keep people in the know. She was definitely touched, to say the least, that complete strangers had jumped on board to support one of her doctors or nurses. I'm not sure. Followed us on Twitter.
Speaker: and retweeted what I shared and thanked us and all that stuff. And I told her I didn't do it for the thanks or anything like that. I did it because it's the right thing to do. That's just how we do it, Jordan. That's how we roll. That's how we roll. Nonsensical nonsense cares. Hashtag. Hashtag Tony D.
Speaker: It's very about to explode. Hashtag. You can see it. You can see it right now. Yeah, we need a countdown clock for you. Tony's aneurysm and your grabber. Yeah, no kidding. Well, I did. I did get my mention my grabber. I did get my McDonald's Happy Meal. You got so much fucking food for McDonald's. They had to put it in a goddamn moving box.
Speaker: It's called the family pack. It's called the family box. Sorry. And it's four quarter pounders and four fries. It's not the first time somebody's been in just family box.
Speaker: Todie, I promise you, would you stop letting these jackasses get to you, life will be better. Life goes a lot easier. I've recently learned that myself where you can't look like you're scared off. I'm more concerned about my ball sweat most days than what people think about me on the internet.
Speaker: Amen to that. If I don't have a problem with you, I don't expect nobody coming at me like that. It's when you come and be like that, if I didn't try to start anything with you that pisses me off. I'll come at you just because I'm bored. That's the point. No, you're coming at me because you know I can't get the mystical fast enough. I'll come on you because that's the money shot. I'll wait. What are we talking about?
Speaker: I'll show up on you. It will shit on you just for the point of shitting on you. Yeah. Just clown them. Make fun of them. Live in their head. Don't let them aggravate you. Yes. I'll show up with a case of beer in one hand and and Crown Peach in the other hand telling you and saying let's do this. Let's get crazy.
Speaker: what you do every time somebody gives gives you just type in that's your I know how to get to your heart bottle crown peach. Yeah, make Tony melt in your hand. I got skills. Oh god. You're a little milk. Why do you fantasize about people whatever men are taking advantage of other men's sexual? Who the hell are you talking about?
Speaker: I said I was going to come down here and bring a case of beer and a bottle of peach crown for you. Then he called me a milk dud. No, I said I'll make you milk my hand. That's how you make Tony milk, is you give him a bottle of ground. It's not gay. It's to make you, put you in a good mood, make you happy. You can't pay that number, Tony. That makes you a homophobe. It's fresh.
Speaker: Okay, fun. You know what? When I come down to the visitor, I'd be like, well, I had a bottle of Crown Peach at the house. I left it there because I threw it out because you were a bit of an asshole. I was trying to do something nice to you. I was trying to do something nice to you. I was trying to do something nice for you. I was trying to make you have a good day. It did. You would have called me a homo just because another man can't bring another man a bottle of liquor.
Speaker: I see how it is. Say goodbye to that. Okay, this is issue number four for me today, so. Hey, dad. What's up, dad? Y 'all gotta excuse my mentality. This is issue number four today, so. Yeah, I'm trying to bring myself down. You have any issues I had today? I have no idea. I've been dealing with issues since 9 a .m. None. You know what I did do today?
Speaker: Got my tickets, mine and Jodie's tickets for Top Gun to Maverick. I have a night. I'm avoiding spoilers like a plague. Date night. Well, I got spoiler alert Saturday night. I've spoiled the shit out of the movie.
Speaker: You know, Maverick dies. Iceman dies. Goose's son dies. Some other guy died. They all die. In Iceman already dead? Like his... No. No, he's in the show. He does a voiceover. Somebody did the voiceover for him because he can't speak anymore. Yeah, he can talk. He's got one of them things. Hi, my name is Val Gelmer. What happened to Val? He had throat cancer.
Speaker: Yeah, he's got throat cancer. Guy Hatter, Guy Hatter. For those of you who are Marvel fans, June 22nd, Doctor Strange 2 comes on Disney Plus. When is it? 20 seconds. 20 seconds. Have you seen it yet?
Speaker: Last night, I believe the new episode of Obi -Wan came out and Ms. Marvel started on Disney Plus. Yeah, I've seen that. I haven't watched it yet. I broke down and I did the dumb thing and I bought access to Apple TV. Don't waste your money, boys.
Speaker: I looked at that. I don't waste my money on anything Apple -related. For free, because I changed my phone over the early of the year. You're supposed to get a year for free. You got to go back and do an app about that. It's a month. I looked at the arcade. I looked at one of the packages with the arcade, the TV, and the music. I'm already paying for the music. The arcade, I'm not going to be downloading games like that. I'm not. Apple TV. The problem with Apple TV to me is you got to have
Speaker: the other apps on your phone as well. And you've got to have a cable service for those apps. So if you've got whatever, you've got whatever. I'm like, why would I get the Apple TV? Now they got their own shows. Great. They got their own shows. I'll check them out. No problem. The only one show on there is worth the damn watching. That's the Ted Lasso show.
Speaker: I thought about Jason Momoa shows. I've heard of Jason Momoa shows. It's fucking weird. Everybody's blind in that fucking mood. So is that the one where they're like like medieval or in the future? I'm like him and his brother, but it's all I started watching as opposed to basically in the in the late brothers. That's what it's called, isn't it? No, it's called C. No, C. I'll see.
Speaker: And actually, when you first start watching it, it pops up and it says, in the early 20th century, a virus swept through the earth, and now there's only 2 million people on earth, and they're all born blind, and the idea of sight is a myth, and if it's mentioned is considered heresy.
Speaker: I watched the first five minutes. I was like, yeah, I'm out. It's fucking weird. Like, they're going to battle, but they're holding each other's shoulders. I'm like, nah, don't work that game. They're trying to follow a plot with the Sandra Bullitt movie on Netflix, and she was traveling around blind and shit, which I thought was crazy. No, no, no. The bird box is more like they actually put it. The bird box. Yeah. That fucking movie's weird. That movie's weird. I was sitting there looking like this can't be.
Speaker: Oh no, that was fucked up. It's kind of like that. Fucking Christ. Sorry. There's fucking Deshaun Watson bullshit. Yeah, I saw that. Now part of the class action suit. Now they're suing the Houston Texans as well. This is the 24 women are now that their attorney is bringing in the Houston Texans and that's part of the lawsuit. Let me ask you something. How many women did you say? 24.
Speaker: It's 66. Now it's 24 that have filed suit. There are allegations that he had quote unquote massages from 66 different women, but they haven't filed lawsuits. The lawsuits are 24. But now they're dragging the Houston Texans.
Speaker: I'm done with Cleveland. I need a new team. I'm a Bengals fan. It is a Cleveland issue because they just paid this motherfucker $140 goddamn million guaranteed. He's got a million dollars this year because they knew a legal city. He ain't playing. Now, we don't have a quarterback. Yes, you do. Now, we don't have a quarterback.
Speaker: I can't move. I can't move. Are you going to play for us? Probably. I'm done. I'm a Bengals fan. I'm a Cowboys fan. Let's go. We the boys. We the boys. We the boys. We the boys. We go with the Super Bowl. Go Cowboys. Okay. Okay. I don't think they go initially yet. I don't think they go initially yet. We're on Super Bowl this year. I'm a Cowboys fan. Lifelong Cowboys fan.
Speaker: Brian's back in the day. Brian said it's Tim Tebow, go get him. I'll take Tim Tebow. I'll take Tim Tebow over Deshaun Watson right now. If you get the money, go get him. Speaking of lawsuits, the ACLU is trying to sue Johnny Depp.
Speaker: for claims that they are, hold on, I'm bringing up the article now. I'm sorry, Chrissy. For claims that they are entitled to reimbursement. No, they don't have case healing. He's gone. Reimbursement for what? Because Amber Heard said she was giving the money to
Speaker: That sounds like an under heard problem, not a Johnny Depp. Exactly, exactly. What the fuck? They should be signed soon. She pledged that seven million. She pledged that seven million. She never gave it to her. Well, no, she made Johnny pay part of it. No, they never received any of it because she only pledged it. Yeah, she pledged it, but they're trying to sue Johnny Depp for $86 ,000, which is a weekend for Johnny Depp.
Speaker: You know what? I'd say you can have your money, but here's the thing. All your leaders, I want you to stand in a line so I can walk past you and smack the fuck out of you with $86 ,000. Yep. Fuck that. I'd show up with pennies.
Speaker: And then I'm gonna go shit in your pants. I was literally, I was like, you know what? I'll settle, but I'm paying in pennies, bitch. You're gonna have to hire 15 people just to count this shit. They're gonna have to, they're gonna have to bring that in and dump truck. Exactly. Well, did you see there, there was a guy, and I walked back to the ski.
Speaker: The city kept telling me he couldn't park in front of his house and then we'd call, okay, where can I park? They say in front of your house. And they gave him like, like, it was like $15 ,000 worth of tickets. So he was like, fine, I'll pay him. And they showed up with wear barrels and dumped pennies on the desks. No, she ain't. That guy don't play, Brian. 86,
Speaker: We'll say $87 ,000. We'll say $87 ,000 in pennies. Could you Scrooge McDuck that shit and dive headfirst into it like he did in the opening of DuckTales? I don't see why not. But regardless. Yeah, but regardless, I'm just... None of us have Scrooge McDuck money. But if I had $87 ,000 in pennies... What was that? $86 ,000? Let's say $87 ,000 for sake of argument. No, but that would be...
Speaker: What is it? 860 ,000. 860 ,000 pennies, right? No. It's $6 ,000. 8 .7 million pennies. That's what I was thinking. 8 .7 million. I have no idea. I'm just pulling numbers out of my ass. I need your money. I'm drinking my beer now. Fuck this shit. I'm drinking my beer. Go ahead. Did you say, I mean, beer money? I'm drinking my beer. I only got two left there. Well, that's more than enough for you, lightweight. How many of these are bringing $86 ,000?
Speaker: issues previously today, so that's one of the reasons why I fenced each other and know about that. So I'm actually just like trying to. This is definitely, you know, there's a website that tells you how many pennies are in every denomination. It's what there's a website is literally a list of like if it starts out $1, 100 pennies and then goes all the way down.
Speaker: And it goes up to 10 ,000. How weird is that? I give up. I'm done. $1 ,000 is 100 ,000 pennies. Yes. Speaking of change, I went into the gas station today. Did my normal. Got my morning breakfast. You know what I mean? Little sheets breakfast.
Speaker: And, um, I go up to pay and I was good at paying cash. Well, there's a little sign on the register said they were out of change. And the lady's like, no, she's like, you got any change or anything in your car? I'm like, I don't, I don't know. It's just like, well, we're buying change plus on top of it. You can get a free fountain drink any size. And I'm like, wow, you guys really are short handed on, on, uh,
Speaker: on change if that's if you guys are giving away from drinks because I you go into any goddamn gas station and them fucking fountain machines for those fountain pops that you swear it was dumping out gold the way they act about them. Right? Like
Speaker: So it is 8 .7 million pennies. That's exactly what I said. I know. Stop fact -checking me. That's just another reason why I don't ever need to be fact -checked because everything I say is factual. Calm down Wikipedia. No, no. Google over here. Wikipedia. Once again, I'd agree with you, but that would both be wrong.
Speaker: No, if you agree with me, then you would be right. Again, it makes no sense. I don't think you'd screwed your docket, not the size of, like, if you remember the size of his vault, so to speak, it wouldn't be that size. Yeah, again, it's not gold like he had. It's not a giant vault. I'm just curious.
Speaker: plus plus on top of it. If you dive head first into if you dive head first into gold, pennies, quarters, nickels, dimes, you're going to break your neck and die. Oh, yeah. You're going to Christopher Reeves yourself. Too soon? What? That was like 40 years ago. I know, but still too soon. Really? Yeah. I'm not snowflake.
Speaker: I wouldn't say he was an icon. Just because he played Superman. No, but, uh, he did a movie with, uh, uh, Michael Keaton. Hell of an actor from what I hear a hell of a guy. Not very well with horseback riding, but you know.
Speaker: That's what he should have said and he wouldn't have gotten hurt. Maybe you should have announced everybody that he was on a horse. No, you're not on a horse, Chris.
Speaker: That looks like it's going to smarten the morning, Chris. I play that Red Dead, you ride around on a fucking horse and you put a point where you want to get to it, it shows a line that you should follow. That's the road. And of course I'm like, fuck that. It's a straight shot. I'll save myself 20 miles by cutting across and then you forget that there's a cliff.
Speaker: i've killed like nine horses that way because i'm like keep going keep going jump oh shit this is gonna hurt and then i have to sit there and go fuck now i gotta walk until i find another horse do you steal horses
Speaker: Yeah, you can steal horses. There's also horses going wild. They're like wild horses because... Yeah, wild styles. And you can rope them and calm them down. And once you ride them for a little while, they become your horse. They become acclimated to you. Hmm.
Speaker: But if certain parts of the game, you're just getting from one side of the map to the other. It's just the biggest pain in the ass. Sometimes you're like, wait, how far is it? I'll play this tomorrow. My horse for 45 minutes to get there. A new modern warfare game getting ready to come out or it's coming out or it's out or something. I don't know. I'm buying it. I haven't bought a game in a while, but I'm buying it. I, I,
Speaker: I did that big purchase of those three or four games that I bought. And that's my games for the year. Big purchase. And were they like $15? No, the Gran Turismo was $100. Gran Turismo was $100. What? It was somewhere like $25. Because it just came out. It was $100. The Gran Turismo did you buy? Seven.
Speaker: And maybe it's 50 bucks. Yeah. That's a hell of a difference between a hundred and 50. Well, I have to do the conversion of pesos in the dollars every time I buy something. I don't remember that. It's 60 at game stop. Yeah. So it was, it was 1200 pesos, which my mind goes, that's a hundred bucks. No, but it's not. It's like 60. How long do you live there again?
Speaker: Dude, 20 years. But besides that fact, it's constant. Even people that have lived there all their lives when they go to convert it into dollars, they go, what's the exchange rate? Because the exchange rate changes daily. Really?
Speaker: Yeah, well, if you look at the exchange rate, no, it's not due to the economy, just in general, the US dollar goes up and down, just like the yen, the peso and the ruble and all that shit. So what you're actually spending, I mean, you can do a quick conversion in your head of basically divide it by two and get what it is in dollars.
Speaker: or well, divided by 20 and get what it is in dollars. But the actual exchange rate is like 19 .5 or 18 .6 or something like that. So to get the exact amount dollar, I have to actually do the math. But for quick reference in my head, I just drop a zero and cut in half. Doesn't sound like that's working out too well for you. No, it doesn't. Because I never know how much I'm spending.
Speaker: Well, for example, the McDonald's I just bought, uh, was technically $25, but it, it, I spent 500 pesos. So half of 500 is 250 minus. I don't think I would ever want to spend any, I don't think I would ever want to spend any money in, in, in, in, uh, um,
Speaker: Mexico why just because like everything and it's not but everything sounds Expensive exactly like like my TV my big TV was 22 ,000 pesos. Well, when you see that number at a Walmart sign, you're like Jesus Christ. Does it come with extinct Panda?
Speaker: Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Like, because I'm always, like, I'm always like, you know, I always look at, you know, I, I do, I, I'm always looking at the prices and stuff. You know, you know, like I'm always, uh,
Speaker: even when I'm actually shopping, you know what I mean? I'm, I'm trying to, I try to do quick math in my head, like what I know I have in my account, what I'm spending and stuff like that. Yeah. And sometimes I'll look at something like 60 bucks. I really need that. It's not worth it. I love being, take care of a couple of things. And then if the extras there, then the extras there or whatever. Um, so that's what I said, like, you know, you, you, you, like when we talk about cars and you're like,
Speaker: 20 ,000 or like 20 ,000 pesos for a 1984 Datsun. And I'm like, God damn. And then it's like $200 or something. Yeah. I'm like, Jesus Christ.
Speaker: I can't. You know how many 84 Datsun's I can get in the States for that? Exactly. No, it's like my bank account is in pesos. So I have a little over 2 million pesos in my account. But when you do the math, it's like 100 grand. But my problem is when I get my check, my check... So why do you have two post -down vehicles in your driveway?
Speaker: because I'm trying to find the good mechanic that's not going to overdo it. I don't want to do it myself. You don't know a real good fucking mechanic. It's called a goddamn dealership. And if you got that much money, go buy a fucking brand new car. No, I won't buy a brand new car. I'll void the word by the time I leave the fucking... You got a small dick, so I got to show up and act like an asshole.
Speaker: No, you know what I'm looking at? I found the ultimate SUV. Jeff, you are 40 fucking years old. There is no rhyme or reason for you to go buy a brand new car and void the warranty as soon as you leave the parking lot. I've proved much will because I have to modify it. You don't have to modify anything. No.
Speaker: You live in a third world. You live in a third world country. If you have a brand new car, that's going to impress people enough. And by brand new car, it was a 1950 Chevy, but still. Whatever. I looked at what you drive, and they're too small. Too small for what? I need an SUV. Here's the thing. Why do you need an SUV? Because it floods here every time it fucking spit on the ground.
Speaker: Oh, so everybody there drives SUVs. Pretty much. Oh, lies. Everybody in my neighborhood. Oh, oh. Leaving your neighbor who has the motorcycle in the Cobra. Yeah. No, but I'm looking at Geomanders because I found out they're fucking cheap as hell.
Speaker: And I bought my cruise when I lived in Charleston and guess what it does in Charleston on sunny days with no rain. It floods. Dude, I literally went and I had no issues when it was raining and it was it was over knee deep waters. Charleston's below sea level. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, we've had that discussion. Yeah. So when high tide comes in, like downtown Charleston will flood, like you're not flood flood, but you know, it's not like, it's not like hurricanes or Katrina floods. No, it's more than an inch of water. Right. Well, no, it's like certain parts. Like I sent you guys that article that I saw on face that somebody sent me on Facebook is that like the taxis, they all use a Nissan Centras.
Speaker: And like they weren't going to certain areas so there were thousands of people couldn't get home that one day because all the roads and people weren't driving in them because the cars get stalled out and shit. And it's not cost effective for them to do the taxis to switch over to SUVs.
Speaker: So, and when it does rain here, getting to the house, like I went to go get cigarettes and had to walk through over knee deep water, just to get to the store. Just a knee deep shoe was totally knee deep when she did the free... Okay, so... Why was she knee deep in you? Yeah. I don't think it works that way, Tony. I don't want anybody knee deep in me, ever. Damn, that sounds scary.
Speaker: I'm not judging to each our own whatever makes you happy. I don't even want pinky deep. I don't want anything deep. I don't want anything shallow for that matter. I don't know some uh some of the stuff that your wife sent me pictures of that she bought in and Europe says differently there Jeffrey
Speaker: She's like, do you think Jeff will like this? And I was like, uh, get the big one with spikes on it here. Like, so get the one that has somebody that can recover her photos, all her photos from Europe. She put on an SD card and the SD card has them, but it won't let you access them. It says it's, I, we don't know.
Speaker: Take the SD card to a computer nerd and see if they can figure it out. I'm trying to get a hold of my computer guy. Is it a floor matting issue? I don't know. I honestly don't know. It literally said, I put it in the computer and it's blackened. And put it back in the phone. Isn't Brian kind of a tech nerd? Yeah, I think so. That's not a bad idea. I'll FedEx it to Brian.
Speaker: I was going to say, I thought, well, you don't have to FedEx do it. Maybe, maybe he can give you an idea. Smoke, smoke might be a little bit more techie than us because he's been in the way. One of my, one of my coworkers constantly, she added this thing to my computer. It's called, uh, any screen.
Speaker: And she can take over my computer now so she can fix it. Oh yeah. A lot of pretty much all IT departments with big companies or companies in general, they have that. They can take control of your computer. Yeah.
Speaker: Cause I had like when I, when I was a, when I was an Abercrombie model, uh, I had that issue a few times. I had computer issues and the IT guy was like, but even, uh, even OSU there's like, Oh yeah. Hold on a second. And then all of a sudden you see your little mouse thing moving around and you're like, Hey buddy. No, it's like, I had a client say, uh, for a company, Abercrombie could be so lucky to have me as their model.
Speaker: all in one PDF. And I had to really want to show that you're all exclusive. You put the the sasa cupra cupra in your in your catalog model in your clothes. Folks says yes, it services are equipped with that. But it is it is sasa. It's very pretty when your mouse arrows start moving around your screen.
Speaker: Ah! Your computer's possessed. Mine is currently. I remember pushing buttons. I'm trying to, we're going to take a real quick break and I'm trying to get to the goddamn music. I just, I told you I was going to upload videos on the fly. So, cause I forgot to do that today. Cause I came home and uploaded the new episode. New episode out on Spotify everybody. So go check that out.
Speaker: And go ahead and share it. Neutral for Black Adam is out. Oh, really? I can kill you with a whistle. Is there a rock being in that? Yeah, there was supposed to be in it, too. Rocky, Maya Villa.
Speaker: Got my turtleneck and fanny pack and gold chain. Little bitch made ass. Oh my God. I didn't see a TikTok curse that you need to start following. It's a guy dressed in a Sasquatch outfit and he plays the saxophone. Fucking hilarious. I'm just waiting for you. Fucking Smoke loves that. I'm sassy.
Speaker: But we're gonna take a real quick. Yeah, we'll take a take a real quick break. We got a little black top mojo for you guys as always. Go check these guys out on all social media and everywhere you stream music at. At black top mojo at at black top mojo. Go show him some love. Let him know we sent you and who knows they might be joining us here very soon. Yeah, that would be awesome.
Speaker: But we'll be right back. We got a little Blacktop Mojo trouble on the rise. Tony, this one's real.
Speaker: Passed out by the devil I got fire in my bones Burning with the black heart And cursed to roam Life with the sunshine It's cold on my face Forbidden food on my tongue Sweet to the taste You can try and kill me Try and turn me down
Speaker: Shoot your pistol at me I laugh at the sound And as I walk through the valley Of the shadow of death I come out of the valley Where life shadows past best
Speaker: Without shadows, that's the breath When the day break of the call There'll be no fear in my eyes Let the rainbow come from me
Speaker: There'll be trouble on the rise There'll be trouble on the rise There'll be trouble on the rise
Speaker: Hell yeah. That's what's up. Welcome back. Oh my gosh. Here we go. Welcome back everybody. Hopefully you enjoyed the show so far. That was the first hour. We just talked shit for an hour. Now we're going to get into the meat and taters of the show, but welcome back to Nonsense School Nonsense. I'm Glick hanging out with Tony and Jeffrey. As always, you better stop me mugging me, Tony.
Speaker: We're tired. I was trying to go through some messages. Bigger Sadie, Gemma, Naomi, Ray, all of y 'all popping in. Noah, damn. A bunch of y 'all popping up. Appreciate y 'all coming through. Yeah, I was getting ready to get there. But if you guys aren't already, go ahead and check us out on all social media, at Nonsense School Nonsense.
Speaker: on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. Don't forget you can join us every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday night right here on Twitch and YouTube. Again, at nonsensical nonsense. You get every single episode of the podcast on Spotify or anywhere you listen to podcasts. If you don't want to hang out with us live, you don't have to. That's okay. We understand. You can just listen to us at your leisure.
Speaker: So go ahead and go give us a follow, give us a like, and if you be so kind, we don't ask for a whole lot, but give us a share. Tell your friends about us. Much like Mr. Tim Conrad did earlier. We appreciate the raid. Thank you for everybody popping in and saying hello. What's up? And there's Tim. There he is. But we also have an email as well. Nonsense School Nonsense Podcast at gmail .com and a merch store if you're interested in any of that jazz.
Speaker: at teespring .com slash nonsense school nonsense podcast. But what is going on Twitch? What is going on YouTube? And what's up Twitter? We see you guys. We see your comment and we see you and you say hello. Twatter. Twitter. Twitter. You can't comment, but if you're watching us on Twitter, come hang out with us on YouTube or Twitch. And then you can comment. You can add your two cents.
Speaker: Yeah. If you feel so inclined, privileged. What is this privilege you speak of? I don't know. I have none. Commenting is a right. It's a privilege. It's not a right. And we can take that privilege. It's not a must, but it is encouraged.
Speaker: because it sometimes helps drive our point home. It boosts my ego is what it does. Let's be honest. The only reason we do these shows is to boost my ego.
Speaker: This is the whole reason we do this show is to boost my ego. I'm a very humble guy and I have a very low ego. So, you know, sometimes I just need to boost it. So I do this show three times a week. These guys come on here and tell me how amazing and great I am. And then you guys do the same in the comments. Wait, wait, wait. Let me for example check that for you. I don't think I've ever said how great you are. What? Yeah, you say it all the time.
Speaker: I'm sorry, Jeff. We can't hear you. Nobody can hear you. I don't know what happened. You lost yourself. The voice is in your head. From what now, I am a professional. I read lips fluently. My deaf broster taught me how to read lips. And when your mic went out and your sound went out. No.
Speaker: when people speak to you. What you said when your mic went out was, yes, Glick is so great. He's so amazing. He's the most handsome guy, the best host ever, and the best friend a guy could ever ask for. And I appreciate that. Thank you, sir. I'm just saying right now that you need to go back to rip leading because you suck at it.
Speaker: I'm just saying seriously this weekend I have to go get me a new chair. This thing is. It's not I wonder maybe maybe if you didn't maybe if you didn't eat eight quarter pounders in six large fries a day. Four quarter pounders.
Speaker: I still got two left. We had four quarter pounders and two more fries. I had two of them and two fries. Well, I appreciate it, Tim. Greatly appreciate that. I'm just trying to get that noble quarter pounder for the day. Got to get you on here sometime. The problem I have is if I order like a Big Mac meal, it's not enough. And I'm still hungry. Right. How? I'm like twice your size.
Speaker: I've seen everything you make. My spaghetti could feed an army. An army of Jeff. If you were in said army, nobody else would eat.
Speaker: If you were cooking for an army, the army wouldn't get to eat. They would starve. Yeah, this is true. They would be famished on the battlefield. They would resort to eating each other. Well, they can't keep up. I'm just saying, if I like something, I'm gonna eat a lot of it.
Speaker: Is that why you eat a lot of dicks Walked into that fucking plane Yeah, why'd you bring you on like a Monday show Jim
Speaker: Mondays seem to work pretty well for special guests. Speaking of special guests on the Monday show, shout out to Smoke again. Thank you for coming on the show Monday. It was good stuff. And then we hung out backstage after the show for, what, about 45 minutes and kind of conversated a little bit more. So it was good to actually get Smoke on the show and get to bullshit with him. And then after the show, get to hang out and bullshit with him a little bit more. So Tim will be the next victim to come on to nonsensical nonsense.
Speaker: And stroke my ego The Monday the Monday stroke clicks ego show Special guests on every Monday. They tell me how great I'm really not an egotistical maniac
Speaker: Those of you who are new I'm just I'm just One of my colleagues I was talking to one of my colleagues today about the show and he's like i'm gonna start listening I said i'll send you a live link so uh Levi if you're listening he's not I really am kind of a humble guy in all honesty. I just like to talk shit Talk more shit than anything else
Speaker: deep down inside. I'm just a just a teddy bear. I wouldn't hurt a fly. Hold on. I'm going to sit here and let you dig that hole. This isn't even my my real voice. My real voice kind of sounds like this. Oh, that was rough when I didn't have no voice. There's a couple of shows we did. Oh my god.
Speaker: That's a sign of a true professional. I pushed through. The one time you guys could have talked, you guys had like next to nothing to say. I have no voice. I was just like, I have no voice and I gotta carry this show. What the hell? Just listen. It was great content, trust me. So, speaking of content. Everything I do is great content. The starting five this week.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm thinking as far as the starting five goes. It's been a little lackluster the last couple of weeks. I noticed that myself. So I'm debating. Do we take a time out a time out from it? Or. They just keep rolling with it and push it better.
Speaker: there's that because at all honestly literally the votes were three two one yeah that's what i thought i saw them so then oh my god why do you even take a fucking guess this is your first show
Speaker: Tony's face. God damn it. So. I'm ready for next week's top five in this. Apparently we're not taking a break because I've lost count. How many times do I want to know? Where's it at? It doesn't matter how many times you want. I'm the greatest champion of all time at this point. You know what? I'll give up you.
Speaker: What would you own if you could buy one tomorrow? Americans versus uh vagrant. Mexicans. He just called you. Not only did he call you a Mexican, he called you a vagrant. He called you a vagrant.
Speaker: I think we got that one, Tony. I don't know. I like our odds. Actually, I just got a letter from the Mexican government. I'm able to apply for my Mexican citizenship. I'm like, yeah. I'll think about it. Let me think. Let me think on it. And I'll come up with a top five by the end of the show.
Speaker: Starting five, starting five. Unfortunately, I've been crazy busy. I have a list somewhere. Right now, I got a five. I've already done that one. I was going to say, do you want to read off what we had?
Speaker: I have it. We have Tony. I wrote one. I got one that we make right now. That's pretty much like 90 % of movies. I'm going to debunk every movie you say. Top five outer space vehicles. And then top five movie stars.
Speaker: We've already... We did movie stars, but we did actors and then we did actresses. That was way back in the beginning. Okay. So we got... The first one we did was actors and Chris and I were cursing each other out the entire time. So it was just... What the hell is it? I wasn't getting that one. It was just turning... I wrote one down that you said. The supersized top 10s. What are the supersized top 10s?
Speaker: Oh, that's the super -sized top 10s when Chris does have one. I have one. I actually, I have more than 10. I actually, I have one tonight, Tim. Remember when we were doing the top 10s, then Chris switched over to deep dives when we did the dark side of Disney and all that stuff. The top 10s kind of got put on the sideline because they are not as easy as defined as you would think. What, the deep dives?
Speaker: No, the top 10s. Oh, the top 10s are a pain in the ass, but I've still been going. They're a big pain in the ass. Top 10s. Yeah. Top 10s. I was drinking. I'm drinking. I was thirsty. I'll say the movies that cannot be made as a vote before I open everybody up. If you do it, I'm going to debunk every movie you put on the list. I won't even make a list. I will sit out of this one, but I will debunk and I will tell you why and how that movie that you say cannot be made will and can be made.
Speaker: I thought it was remade.
Speaker: No, that would have to be remade if they came out now is basically the concept. You guys make a list of movies. So, like, in Blazing Saddles, as it is, came out today, it would be canceled within 30 minutes. You guys make a list of, you guys could do a list, you guys could make a movie of movies that could never be remade, and I'll do an alternative, the multiverse list of movies that should have never been made, Fast and the Furious, all of them. You know what, that's a good list of movies that should not have been made.
Speaker: Star Wars, all of them. No movies that should not be not done. That would be fun. Star Trek, all of them. Yes. Watch your mouth. Starting with Wrath of Khan. So there you go. Sharknado. Keep maximum movement around your mouth. I'm still positive. Shut your whore mouth. You shut your whore mouth, Glick.
Speaker: I was literally, Mike, my colleague leave and I were talking about that. I was going to throw Tony a bone with a starting five list, but he'd probably shoot himself in the foot because his list would pertain people that most people have never even heard of. Exactly. Because Tony's old.
Speaker: No, no, it has nothing to do with the fact that Tony's old. It's not that Tony's old. Tony's from New York and there's a different music scene in New York that most people, an underground music scene that most people haven't heard of. Oh, speaking of music, Chris, the other day you played that cover of starving. I'm not starving. Hunger strike. Hunger strike. And it's not stone temple. It's temple. It's like temple of doom. Temple of the dog.
Speaker: Yeah, Temple of the Dog because I literally went and added it to my Spotify list and it wasn't. And I was like, Word. So you guys want to do top five movies? The original set is Temple of the Dog. You guys want to do five movies that couldn't be remade or shouldn't have been made? I will say. Shouldn't have been made. Let's do that. I don't know.
Speaker: Well, it couldn't come out now. You have to specify it's not remade because if you remade it, it would it would be, you know, woke, so to speak. But movies that could not come out today. Okay. Ladies and settles came out just waking back in the 80s. It would not be accepted. So five starting five movies that couldn't come out today. Okay, fair enough. There's your starting five for this week. Ladies and gentlemen,
Speaker: Enjoy, do all you will with it. Send your list of emails if you like. Send your list to the email right there. Yeah, hey, that reminds me, please send in your list because last week we had two chatters box. Chris, did we get any votes on them? Yes. So who won the starting five chattered box of champions? It was a tie.
Speaker: that's why I'm saying vote your list let us get out there let's let's get
Speaker: Starting five temple of the dog. Yeah, that's right. I was wrong. I was wrong I know as soon as you said it it wasn't STP I was like shit. No, it wasn't and I knew that so yeah, it was simple and and I noticed it after the show and I completely forgot to mention it No, what's up, oh boy
Speaker: Wow. Don't ever, ever, ever do that again. Yeah, right. Is that Chris Hansen behind you? I meant to say, what's up, my boy? But then it came a little... Did you get Hansen? And I'm not talking about... Holy shit. I saw a picture of what Hansen looks like today. And them boys, time was not kind. Those ladies did not age well. No, they did not.
Speaker: The oldest one looks like he Tony has no idea who Hanson was. I do. I was going to say. Yeah, they will. They look like little girls back in the day. They did. One of the guys on the guys on Jumanji, right?
Speaker: No, that's the Germans brothers. That's okay. He's a handsome. Yeah, he is. He's a good looking cat. I'm not Nick Jonas, right? I couldn't I couldn't do he was in line up. He he was in Scream Queens on Fox. It was like a like a horror show. Mm hmm. Watch that fucking movie or watch that television show just for him. Yeah.
Speaker: Oh my, he was fucking hilarious. He was gay, but not gay. You know what I mean? Like he was gay, but he was, he was in a frat. It's great. It's based on a college. So it's like a fraternity and a frat. So he was like, the one guy can't remember his name on the show, but he kept saying my gay friend Nick or whatever the hell his name was.
Speaker: It's a funny ass show. It's got Jamie Lee Curtis in it and a couple chicks from American Horror Story and Nick Jonas is in it and a couple other people that have done some scare scary movies, but it's like a slasher type TV show. It was funny as fuck though. No, but
Speaker: You know who kind of blew my mind that I didn't want to let the guy and then I saw him a couple of movies and I'm kind of like, yeah, I get it. Is, uh, what's his name from the, uh, what's his fucking, I do beef rice and tomato sauce. Gross.
Speaker: That was excellent. This is a bachelor. What did you say? I had some stew beef, I didn't have any gravy. So I cooked stew beef, you know, a little cute and all that. Yeah, yeah. I didn't have any gravy. So I'm looking around, I said, but I could put some spaghetti sauce on this. Like some, you know, little steak, spaghetti sauce, cool. Had some rice, threw that on there. Let it all cook. Yeah, ain't nothing wrong with that.
Speaker: Yeah, that's when you just whatever you got. I do that all the time, man. Just randomly throw shit together. So the actor that I was talking about that I didn't want to like, but I actually kind of like the guy is Zac Efron. Oh yeah, Zac Efron is cool. I mean, I've never seen high school musical.
Speaker: Because I can't get into it. It just pours a shot on me. But the dude was ripped like you fucking read about in Baywatch. Yeah. Well, gentlemen. Yeah. We spoke of earlier in the chatter's box. Uh -oh. Here we go.
Speaker: And this is the one that we started a while back and I'm going to go ahead and wrap it up. And it's funny because the episode that we started it on, I just listened to today. That's how far behind I am on the podcast. So with that being said, it's my top 10 because it's my show and I do everything and I have a microphone. So here's my fucking top 10 stupid tricks. You know, that's just like, uh,
Speaker: Well, that's an old -ass picture. We need to update that. That's an intro. That's a good intro. That's a real good intro. I built that intro. I built that intro, what, like six months ago? I was working for LG, so it's... I made that intro. You wish. On the fly. Yeah, on the fly. That is my voice, on the fly. No, the voice, yes, but the video, dick.
Speaker: Yeah, all you have to do is take all you have to do is take the sound put pictures over top of it I literally said it and then I had to go through the show and find where I said it at and And then convert it down into an mp4 or whatever the fuck is called and then send it to you. So I did Much like this show I didn't most of the work and if you try to take the credit for it
Speaker: I'm pretty sure the video speaks for itself. You're fired. I'm pretty sure. You know how hard it is. How many times did we do that intro without the video? That just goes so well. I know, right? Well, that shows how techy we are. Couldn't get it to work on Haps though. Well, that was Haps's issue. But a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away,
Speaker: I started a top 10. It was a supersized top 10. It was a supersized top 10. I was like, damn it. Greatest Star Wars characters of all time. Number one, Jar Jar Binks. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Actually, you know what? I will throw you guys a bone. The next top 10 list will be a Star Wars themed top 10.
Speaker: whatever you want. No say I never did anything for you guys. Best Star Wars movies. Don't worry about what it would be. It'll be a Star Wars theme. Top 10. But anyways, into the present in the right here and now we started this actual sentences found in the patient's charts and the hospital night. Oh my God. This is old. I got 14 of them for you.
Speaker: This ain't gonna be good. This ain't gonna be good. Oh, it's gonna be. Tony, this is gonna fall right into the category of those news headlines that I hit you with last week. I had Tony losing his damn mind last Monday with these newspaper articles, headline newspaper headlines. Jeff, you gotta listen to not last Monday with Smoke, but the Monday before. Listen to that.
Speaker: I did newspaper articles and it was like, it was stupid shit like Princess Diana was alive hours before she died. Oh yeah. I've seen that. I've seen stuff like that. Yeah. It's kind of like man from shooting was killed and we reached out for a comment and he was not available. Yeah. It was literally said on the air.
Speaker: Yeah. Homicide victim. Unable to give police report. But I got 14. Yeah. I got 14 of these bad boys here for you. Actual sentences found in a patient's hospital church. Number 14. Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up. What's she look like?
Speaker: between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant. Number 13. Yeah, yeah. Boy Scouts allowing gays. That was an actual headline. Then I read, you know, the Boy Scouts allowing gays. It's like the editors pay off or something. Jesus.
Speaker: Well, one, it looked like somebody got drunk and passed out on the keyboard because it was just a whole bunch of letters and numbers and shit like that. I remember that one. Number, uh, number 12 patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. Nice. Yeah, I don't care, buddy. Both that was called getting everything out of your meal.
Speaker: getting your money's worth. She was so good. I had it twice. I had it both ways. Taco Bell is just as good the second time around. Have you ever tried to make yourself throw up?
Speaker: I cannot do it. It's the worst because here we go. Squirrel moment because you do that dry heave dry. There's nothing like any form of torture just as long as it's not the dry heaves. Oh my God. No, I've done it a few times. Um,
Speaker: like I've done it more than a few times to be honest with you but um like there's there you know like I don't know maybe you guys probably have been there but neither one of you will admit to it because you're too cool for that but there's been times where I've been so fucking drunk and like I don't like I'm not gonna throw up I don't feel like I'm gonna throw up but you know you just get that like
Speaker: I can have an uneasy feel. Yeah, but you're not going to. So then you go and make yourself throw up and then you feel great. Well, I've had, I've only had one experience in the, in the 40 years of life where I actually threw up and was able to keep drinking. Oh, I can do that all day long. Once I throw up, I'm fucking done.
Speaker: Yeah. And I've only, yeah, I've only thrown up from drinking when I made myself throw up, but it's just like, you just, you just start feeling just, just, you know, kind of, just kind of blah, you know, and then you go make yourself throw up and you're good to go. You're ready to rock and roll. But there's also been a few times when I've eaten some shit and it just didn't sit right in my stomach. And, and, and I knew I had to get it out. It was just like, all right,
Speaker: time again yeah arsenic that always goes down wrong well that's what you get for no i've never you can't kill me never been able to make it make myself throw up i can't i can't i'm it's physically impossible i i can't i i can't oh you have no gag reflex your boyfriend loves that no i have again i can't i can't make like you know i don't know how to make myself throw up is what i'm saying like i i can't
Speaker: I can't tickle my tonsils and make myself throw up. What's up, Amanda? Whatever it is. Fair enough. Anyways, back to this list. There's a hashtag tickle my tonsils. Hashtag tickle her tonsils. Sasa Cooper's here to tickle your tonsils. I'll give you a dollar to say that to your girlfriend.
Speaker: Save that for when we come back for break. We had a discussion about how men get older, but they don't mature past the 16 year old Mark. 16 seems old. Yeah. I was getting closer to 12, 14. Yeah. Not really. I just got, just a real quick discussion. Coming in at number 11.
Speaker: on the list for patient charts. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days. Wait, how do you gain 40 pounds in three days? It was a typo. What's going on, golf? We love golf. We love our squirrels at nonsensical nonsense.
Speaker: I like goldfish. Coming in at number 10, patient has left white blood's left, as in like your left side, left white blood cells at another hospital. Sorry, I forgot. I'm going to have to run back over.
Speaker: Shit. My white blood cells are at the other hospital. Coming in at number nine. The patient has no previous history of suicide. Suicides. I'm sorry. Suicides. It's good to know.
Speaker: the patient refused an autopsy. That just sounds like somebody was lazy. They didn't want to **** do it. They're like, you know what? He refused. He refused autopsy.
Speaker: Yep. Patient. I think that can go bad either way because if you're alive and well, you're sitting in the hospital bed. They're like, I'm good. Yeah. Yeah. The guy from the morgue comes up and he's like. It's like that dude from scrubs. He just shit at his job.
Speaker: I can see that as being an episode on scrubs. It's him coming up and telling Dr. Cox that the picture with autopsy and Dr. Cox hit me with the should read that to him. Uh, coming to number, uh,
Speaker: seven healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male mentally alert, but forgetful. I love it. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful. Number six, discharge status.
Speaker: I should really breathe these. Number six. Discharge status alive, but without my permission. As if the patient left without doctors consent. He is alive, so fuck him. But without my permission. I told him he couldn't be alive. He said, fuck you. Into the top five, gentlemen.
Speaker: like that little drum roll for you. Not really. I could I could totally get a drum line with Nick Cannon. Sound of you practicing. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you for practicing. You're jealous. You got free time. I can just sit around and practice noise effects. Sound effects. You can live by yourself.
Speaker: I live alone for the most part. I have no friends in real life. So I do sound effects on video games. Sometimes our windows are open. Trust me. I'm sure my neighbors have heard a lot worse coming from this.
Speaker: I'm good, bro
Speaker: The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in ninety -three. I hate to tell you doctor. You sound like a common denominator. Yeah. Sounds like you're the problem doctor. Number four, the the. Coming to number four, the the patient is
Speaker: She also appears to be depressed. I'll figure. You went to school for that shit? I was going to say. Six years of medical school taught me that, boys. Apparently, I'm qualified to be a doctor. I was going to say, the three of us are all doctors now. Get that, get that. Doctor. Good job, doctor. Doctor. Doctor. Doctor. Doctor. Doctor.
Speaker: Nicely done, doctor. Good job, doctor. Bob -o, thank you very much. Bob -o, perfect. Yep. Spies like us. Yeah. Comin' in over here. That's a classic. Comin' in over here with three. On the second day, the knee was better. And on the... About the third day, it rose again. And on the third day, it disappeared. Oh, yeah. Oh, wait. What?
Speaker: On the second day. I was filming something is missing from the context of that. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.
Speaker: I get the doctors have shorthand. I get them. This is why I don't proofread a lot of stuff because all three of our reactions are 100 % genuine. I guarantee you the nurse or whoever's reading that is like Doc, I have questions.
Speaker: And number two. I got more than a few. Like, where the fuck did my knee go? Doc!
Speaker: I was looking over my medical, you know, I was thinking, the reason why I'm calling is I was getting ready to go back to work. You cleared me and I was looking over my my paperwork and my knee is gone. Uh, what the hell? I did opt out of that autopsy. Number two, the patient has chest pain. If she lies on her left side,
Speaker: for over a year. I say that patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. No **** Why are you? There are no words. **** you, Kevin Hawley. Just throwing that out there. He's alive. He's alive.
Speaker: And number one on the list. Number one, actual sentences found in the patient hospital charts. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. Ready. Nice. She's a minx. I don't know, Doc. It was pretty good last night.
Speaker: I think he was just saying like she was like her body temperature was, was hot. Well, I mean, I speak to a lot of doctors if I'm my job and they're always quick with shorthand where I'm like, wait, what? Yeah. So we're going to get rid of the deep dives. The top tens are back.
Speaker: Yes, they were messed and that was the actual sentences found in a patient's hospital charts. I don't know some of those. We don't make this change. No, I don't make this up. No, that's true. I mean, there's so much. This is actual.
Speaker: I see shit like this all the time. Like I follow a lot of, I got a buddy that I went to high school with at Clearport. He's always got something like a funny meme or something on his page every day. And that's what you tell him. Oh, Tim. Oh, Tim.
Speaker: If I don't drive these guys crazy enough as it is we've gone down this road, thank you, sir
Speaker: I'm just so angry, bro. I can't stop it. What the hell was that? I don't know. I got buttons. Apparently. I'm going to have to play with them down the road. Oh, he sent you a button. I got buttons. I got buttons. Oh, shit. There we go.
Speaker: I got buttons. Ah, damn. I don't make this shit up. Fuck. I don't make this shit up. None of this shit's made up. This is all in the fucking room. That Madison was Houdini's knee. Boom. Nice pull. Now, all of a sudden, I want to watch spies like us. Doctor? Doctor.
Speaker: You're welcome. I got him not a patient. 1000 sound board sounds for days. I'll find some favorites in that. Thanks. Remind me to send you that shit basket. If you see a paper bag flaming on your porch, don't step on it. I'm just saying.
Speaker: Just saying. Hey, I got a question. Speaking of that, have you ever played Ding Dong Bitch? I think most people growing up, will you like ring the doorbell and run away? Yeah, I've never done that. Or not gonna door and run away? Yeah, I've never done it. Never done it. Not once. Because
Speaker: Like you yourself, Chris, I grew up where my closest neighbor was a mile away. Well, yeah. I mean, literally, I'd be on a tree, but I'd just do it one neighbor, always. I've never done it. Okay, and I'm kind of curious, though. Let me guess, it has a different meaning. No, you've piqued our interest. Nice!
Speaker: Oh shit. I got another one. I realized that you have a night. Mic check. What do you need a mic check for Tony? I got a YouTube channel. That's a big plus for me.
Speaker: I want my old one, Matt. That's a big plus for me. Oh. Oh, you got it back. Oh, I see. Oh, I think you can get chased by the police here. This is a new one. I didn't realize that this was already set up. I was like, oh, shit. So I actually do have a new one. I was thinking I was having difficulty setting up a new one, but I still want my old one, Matt. I have like four. But everybody in that.
Speaker: Like I have a YouTube channel That everybody in the house uses and oh, yeah, I have one of those the kids Yeah, and it's it's my one for each one, but I don't For each each Google account. I have I just only use the one Pretty much Let's even much better figure out how to work this stream yard on better to
Speaker: Yes, we do. Same name on YouTube, Noah. Same name on YouTube. Yeah. I got to figure out how to work this thing out, because... That is a good suggestion, Chris. Check out Amanda's last comment. She says, can you find a list for dumb things said in court?
Speaker: I object. So many damn clips of people in court acting up. Well, I don't know if you've seen that, that the old judge, it's like the nicest judge on the planet. Yeah, up in Rhode Island. Yeah, that guy. He's a decent dude. He seems like a really cool cat. He's up in Warwick, Rhode Island, Connecticut. He seems like a really cool cat.
Speaker: In Connecticut, I thought he was in Rhode Island. I could be wrong, but I thought he was up in war at Rhode Island. I have no idea. All I know is he's like the most decent judge I've ever seen. Me too. And if I ever get a speeding ticket in Rhode Island, I'm like, can I request a judge? Because I'll get away with it.
Speaker: Oh, that is good. That is a good idea, because Judge Judy's courtroom is hilarious. She got tired of the bullshit. That was going to crack me up. Bitch. Judge Judy was fucking. She didn't give two shits. She did not.
Speaker: What was it? Judge Joe Brown was kind of boring, I always found him. Yeah. I like Judge Jerry Springer. I love Judge. I like Judge Mathis. He was all right. Yes, Jerry Springer's a judge now. Judge Mathis had the best intro to any court case ever. What are you doing? He told both sides the same thing at the beginning. Prove your case. Yeah. It's the best way for him, Justice. Prove your side. Prove your side. I made my decision.
Speaker: I wonder how much of that shit that you see on judges 2d and joe's math is all that stuff is actually holy shit is actually made those actual court cases those are actual cases yeah but i think the reenactments i would have thought so too until they said they were real those are real cases that they just put on television
Speaker: I would not, I'm sorry, for some of the stuff people get up there with, I'm like, I'm not going on TV saying this shit. Because we're all both idiots. If you want the truth, I think that's what that Johnny Depp Amber Heard trial was. Just the real version of the People's Court judgment, all of that shit. I used to watch moral court with Larry Elder. He would give like moral fines or whatever.
Speaker: I watched the voice quote back in the day, back in the 80s. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. On a day you're home sick. Yeah, that's all there was on. Beaconhead, how you doing? Damn, everybody's showing up tonight. What's going on with everybody, man? You could literally become a lawyer for the day while lying on the couch drinking your juice. What's going on, Beaconhead?
Speaker: You will because what the hell were you guys watching when you stayed over from second school? No, I was watching. I was watching. I had prices, right? No, we got, you know, prices, right. Yeah, they only had prices, right. You didn't have paper. Yeah. And it was definitely during the summertime. He was watching court TV. He was watching Wimbledon. He was watching the Olympics. He was watching prices race sale of the century card. I watched all those games.
Speaker: I was right and Ricky Lake. Yes. No, not Ricky. Like, who is the chick before Ricky Lake? Uh, Jenny, Jenny Jones, Jenny Jones. No, no, no. It was Jenny Jones. Yes, it was Jenny Jones. Jenny Jones, Ricky Lake, Sally, Jesse, Raphael. She's correct. No, Donahue, Oprah. There was. Have her get into Oprah.
Speaker: Yeah, Morton Downey Jr. Well, he had a late night show like our son or like Arsenio. Yeah. Morton Downey Jr. was a goddamn savage and didn't care about nobody. Nobody. Yeah, late night, I watched Morton Downey Jr. and I watched Arsenio. Yeah, I used to watch Arsenio. Yeah. I used to watch Carson a lot. I love Carson. And but the funniest person ever. Never a fan of Carson.
Speaker: Now, the funniest person you ever see on the Carson Show was Don Rickles. This motherfucker didn't give a shit who you were. Don was a beast. He was a beast. He was a beast. He was a beast. He didn't give a fuck your black, white, purple, green. He will fuck you up. He did. He did. He don't care your gay, straight, trans. He will fuck you up. I'm going to talk about you. Most passes are sweet and good. Kids today wouldn't last three minutes with Don Rickles in a row.
Speaker: No, I wouldn't last three minutes. Old school Canadians are comedians comedians. It was afraid of Canada because he has a great one line. You ain't even got no guns. No more Canada. US passes a sweeping gun control package, but it's unlikely to make it through the Senate. House passes a sweeping
Speaker: gun control bill that will raise the age limit for buying semi -automatic rifles, but legislation faces different specs in Senate. Yeah. I don't know. You know what? The problem with all that, Tony, anything going up for gun control is fodder because somebody's going to say one thing and kill the whole fucker. Based on what I read, I don't disagree with you at all.
Speaker: They can do nothing. It's literally fodder for something for them to do for the day. To make it look like they're actually giving a shit. To stop them. They don't, they say you could have a gun where the Constitution says they're not pretty much from what I read last night. That's crazy. Well, the Constitution literally states that the right to bear arms should not be infringed.
Speaker: Exactly. End of session. That would have been a sin. It's time for a break. Got blacked out mojo for your ear holes. Yeah, go for it. And his hat is over his. I gotta cover these big sons of bitches up somehow. Hey, it is what it is. You're right. Everything is big about me except for my pecker.
Speaker: baby. We got all blacked out Bojo. It is the second hour. So, it's going to be a cover song for you or cover of Jamie Johnson's uh in color.
Speaker: So, if you're not a fan of Black Top Motor, if you don't know who they is, who they is. How dare you. Who they are. Who they is. Who they be. Go ahead and check them out on all social media. The 70s called. They want their logo. Their, their, their jive speak back. Disco click in the house. Who they is. Who they was. Who they were going to be.
Speaker: We'll go ahead and check out Blacktop Mojo, like I said, on all social media, wherever you stream music at BlacktopMojo. Go give them some love. I don't know we sent you. We'll be back here in just a few minutes. Enjoy this cover. Hit the button.
Speaker: I said grandpa what's this picture here it's all black and white and it ain't real clear is that you there he said yeah I was 11 your times were tough back in 35 that was me and Uncle Joe just trying to survive a cotton farm and a great depression
Speaker: And if it looks like we were scared to death Like a couple of kids just tryin' to save each other You should've seen it in color This one here was taking over seas In the middle of hell in 1943 And we're in time
Speaker: She'd almost see my breath That was my tail gunner, oh Johnny McGee He was a high school teacher from New Orleans And he had my back right through the day we left And it looked like we were scared to death Like a couple of kids just tried
Speaker: But you can't see what those days that break keep cover You should've seen it in cover
Speaker: This one here is my favorite one This is me and Grandma in the summer sun All dressed up the day we set our vows
Speaker: You can't tell it here but it was hot that June And that rose is red and her eyes were blue Just look at that smile I was so proud That's the story of my life
Speaker: Like a couple of kids just tryin'
Speaker: Mm.
Speaker: Oh, yeah. Well, Blacktop Mojo with their cover of Jamie Johnson's in color. I personally like their version a lot better. That's just me. It did a good job on it. That was a good job on that song. I love that song. Did you see it? You should've seen it in color. Hits you in that in that uh real
Speaker: I love that song in general just because it just makes me, it always makes me think of conversations with my grandfathers and shooting a shit and BS and with them and stuff like that. But that was Black Top Mojo. Go ahead and check them out wherever you stream music and on all social media at Black Top Mojo. Go show them some love. Let them know we sent you.
Speaker: But we are back for the third and final hour. Hopefully you guys enjoyed the last couple of hours. I'm Glick as always hanging out with Jeff and Tony. They are in the house. Maybe Tony's feel a little bit better after coming in hot and heated at the beginning of the show. Jeff. Fuck Jeff. We don't care about Jeff. No, they were worried about his Jeff having a grabber and hoping he has it on the show.
Speaker: I'm like I don't want you to have one but if you do, do it on the show. I'm not going to have one because I'm awesome. You keep eating four quarter pounders a day. You are. I only ate two motherfucker. I got two for later. So far. Yes. So far. Days got over. I'm just saying it. Yeah. But go ahead and check us out on all social media at nonsensical nonsense on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and
Speaker: Jesus Christ. Go ahead and join us. If you'd like to, you can join us live on YouTube and Twitch. Every Monday, Wednesday is Saturday night. Hang out in the chatters box. Shoot the shit with us. So make sure you follow us there at Nonsense or Nonsense. And if you don't want to watch this live, don't worry. We got that covered too, because you can listen to us on Spotify or anywhere you listen to podcasts. We are there. Just give us a search. Go give us a follow. Give us a like. And if you be so kind, we don't ask for anything.
Speaker: but we do ask for one thing. That's kind of an oxymoron. We don't ask for anything, but we ask for one thing. Yeah. If we ask for anything, we only ask that you share the show. Just give us a share. Tell your friends about us. Tell your coworkers. Tell your boss. Tell your mother -in -law that you hate, and then tell us, and we'll make fun of her. Oh, yeah. We'll rip her. And she'll listen to the show, and she'll be in the telephone. So leave us not alone! Yeah. And you know how you know how to tell us that you've told your mother -in -law?
Speaker: or told us that you're like your mother -in -law and you want us to make fun of her, you email us at nonsensical nonsense podcast at gmail .com. And if you'd like to, you can always go check out our merch and buy some of our merch at teespring .com slash nonsensical nonsense podcast.
Speaker: five A's. Oh my gosh. Let me give one of these at the end of the day. Nice. I'm on a horse. Look at your man. Now, look at me. Look at your man. Now, look back at me. Look at your man. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Greatest commercial ever. Greatest commercial ever.
Speaker: I like the more Tastley Commissioner commercials, the middle light commercials. Oh, yes. I convened with myself. You know what commercials I miss? The commercials I miss were on the radio is the real men of genius, Bud Light commercials.
Speaker: some of the thank you guys. Thank you guys. I reminded you. What is it? I did my job. No, no, no, no, no. I've got a new I got a new top 10 list. I'm going to look up top 10 greatest commercials of all time. Oh, go ahead and bring the intro. Bring the intro. What intro? Oh, no. He says from the next. It was my show.
Speaker: It's my show and I do everything. So here's your fucking top ten. To give you background on that sound, Tony, we were talking about, on the episode, we were talking about the fact that it's an audio show and the video that I made just had audio and didn't really say top ten. No, we were going with one.
Speaker: And no, we were we were talking about top 10. Yeah, we were talking about needing an intro for the top 10. No, no, because I'd already built it. You had built you had built the the news one. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: And I said, we needed one for the top 10 because we were just starting to get into the top 10s and we were having fun with them. And then they were like, we'll make it, because I'm late, you do all the work for me. And that's when I started that off. It was literally off the top of my head. Wow. The greatest freestyle rapper of all time. Oh, MC Glick.
Speaker: MC baby dick. Wait, hold on. I'm fact checking. Oh, no, you're wrong. Didn't even have to Google that shit. That's just to be proven. Ain't nobody heard my skills. Nobody wants to. No, those were just dope, Tim. The Clyde Zone. No. I've never wanted a Clyde Zone before. I agree, Tim.
Speaker: Now I gotta find the list that specifically has that commercial is number one. Well, you know, you do make the list so you can just kind of create. I don't make the list. They're already made. What I mean is you read them off. You can literally change it. Nobody. That's what that's what killed me about. Well, yeah, I can't change it on the fly. It's what killed me about you adding the looks like your opinion, man. It's an opinion of somebody.
Speaker: the people they're not most of them are is brought to you by baby nubs and beard bastards nice we need to add that to the trouble am i gonna remember what app i used to create it the problem is my old phone is completely dead i cannot get it even turn on so i need to figure out what the app i used
Speaker: literally says it on the video but I keep forgetting because it's got a watermark baby nubs and beauty bastards I swear to god if we could change the name of the show
Speaker: Well, I mean, I mean, clearly, clearly you and I are the bearded bastards. So would that make Tony a baby note? Tony's like, I'm growing up here tomorrow. He's like, I could shave it right now. He's going to show up Saturday. He's going to have a Mr. T beard. I'm a bearded bastard. Don't confuse me. I am not a baby note. Hell no.
Speaker: Tony, seriously, the next Halloween episode, you have to do the whole Mr. T thing. I think so. That would be hilarious. Just for the show. Just for the show. I was working on another one.
Speaker: You know, as a, as a, as a, as a, you know, I think, I think we should kind of do a Halloween special when it's Halloween. So we all kind of dress up like we did the shirtless episode. That was a flop.
Speaker: No, it wasn't. No, it wasn't. It 100 % proved our point. Mr. Big Shot, Mr. Talk, all this stupid ass, you know, proved it. He refused to take his fucking shirt off. Yeah, it just proved that he was all taught. He took his shirt off. I fucking showed up without shirt on. Yeah, then he wanted to put it right back on. He's got a fucking sweater and a fucking jacket. I'm like, what the fuck, dude? It was your idea. So. Unbelievable. Squeezy cheese. Unbelievable.
Speaker: Speaking of commercials, you know the one that sticks in my head is the Oscar Meyer ones. My baloney has a way with B -O -L -O -N -G -A. You spelled it wrong. And I'm the worst speller in the group. And you spelled it wrong, Tony. Goddamn. I expected better. My baloney has a second name. It's M -A -Y -E. Because Oscar Meyer has a way with B -O -L -O -N -G -A.
Speaker: No, it's B -O -L -O -G -N -A. Is it? I don't know. I just go with it. Yeah, B -O -L -O -G -N -A. You gotta have that Mac tonight commercial, too. Win that clap. Hell, yes. No. I got a better one. I got a better one. The Bud Light Penguin commercial. The Bud Light Penguin commercial. Budweiser has had a long history of really good commercials.
Speaker: The Budweiser frogs. The frogs, the Clydesdales, the classics. Yeah, the what's up. I used to, I used to get in trouble. I used to call on his bow down with that scream style. He was like, hello.
Speaker: I just got trouble in grade school for wearing a Bud Light penguin t -shirt. Well, I wrote that down. So we got I'm actually going to look these up. I'm going to look these up tonight and then I'll save them in my in my browser archive thing and I'll I'll I'll have them. So well,
Speaker: going around Noah's Way in Germany, they had a commercial. There's a YouTube channel that is a band of commercials from all over the world. Yes. There used to be a television show. Yeah. And there's one in Germany where it's a little kid screaming his head off in a grocery cart and the dad just kind of looks at it. He's throwing shit off. The kids throwing stuff off the shelves and out of the cart. And then it's like Trojan.
Speaker: It's like nice. That's just got to look on his face like. Are you ready? I am. Are you ready to make Tony's G line girl? I am.
Speaker: We got some news going on. Let's let's we do have some news. Nice. Let's venture down the wormhole. So listen to this. Listen to this. OK, listen.
Speaker: I'm going to tell you a couple of stories. I'm glad you played that. I can actually edit these videos because I just saw the name of the app. Nice. I love how just his voice aggravates each other.
Speaker: Like, it's not even anything against you. It's just something I've always done with the news. Yeah, we've always done it just funny. Before. Yeah. Yeah, I've got it. Yeah. You know, that's like the third time we used the audio of that video. Nice. But, uh... So, I have that. Yeah. So...
Speaker: Yeah. Jeff made that video too, but I had to send in the audio and everything like that. So I had to break it down because you could only send a 15 second video. You were playing that audio before we started.
Speaker: I was playing that audio. And so you already had the audio clip and all you really had to do is it said, I'm just saying, I'm just saying you had to format it and create fucking air. How do you know? Maybe, maybe I did. Maybe I was playing the Casio keyboard. Listen here. Listen here. Fucking. What's the, what's the, what's the guy's name? The.
Speaker: You know what, I have a new thing I'm going to do when you started knowing me and I just thought of it. And I need to download that video. I got the scribblings of a madman. The composer from fucking Star Wars. I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker: Who's the composer from the Star Wars music No, it wasn't no the composer the fucking dude that did the Superman theme and all this stuff Brian help me out. What the fuck?
Speaker: Maybe I had a whole fucking orchestra in my apartment and we did the break. We did the news intro every time. You just didn't see it. They were in the back of my phone. Go back, go back to the old, you know, the first, the first like, yeah, the old YouTube, there's an orchestra standing behind me.
Speaker: Yeah, go ahead. You don't have to know the guy's name. John Williams, thank you. No, I was calling you, want to be John Williams over here.
Speaker: You're like, son of a bitch. Yeah, with my microphone that literally picks everything up in my apartment. Yeah. Hence the, hence the, the title of us going to the bathroom is fried chicken. Yeah. Fried chicken. But anyways, let me get into the news here. Gentlemen, if you don't mind. Yes.
Speaker: We're going to start this with a little story about a lady who gave birth to twins. OK. Well, she was already pregnant, and she got pregnant with the second one. I think I've heard the story. Yeah. It is a condition called, no, no, they're only, they, no.
Speaker: She was pregnant. She got pregnant. Right. And then like a few days later, she got pregnant again. It's called Yeah, it's it's it's called. Oh, I'm going to butcher this boys. Okay. Superfitation. Yeah, I heard about a lady. It's when a new pregnancy.
Speaker: It's when a new pregnancy occurs during the initial pregnancy and it can happen days or weeks after the first. I heard of a lady, she gave birth to two dudes, kids within days of each other.
Speaker: but uh yeah, 30 year old is giving birth to twins after experiencing a miracle pregnancy. The story of uh this is actually kind of a cool story or a heart touching story or whatever the **** you want to call it. Heart overwhelming. Whatever. I don't know. It's a god damn. It's a it's a god damn miracle. It's a god damn lifetime movie.
Speaker: Oh wait, no, nevermind. Cause lifetime went really dark and all their movies are about like women who are beat and raped and everything. Yeah. But, uh, 30 year old is give birth to twins after experiencing a miracle pregnancy. The story of, uh, uh, Kara Winhold from Texas, fuck Texas is now going viral.
Speaker: Uh, Ms. Winold suffered three devastating miscarriages before becoming pregnant again at a time when she was already pregnant. According to the report in the Metro, this condition is called a superfutation, fatation, whatever. Uh, when the new pregnancy occurs during an initial pregnancy and it can happen days or weeks after the first one, according, uh, to health line.
Speaker: uh she said uh she said to the doctor what happened he wasn't there for the first time what is going on the doctor said most likely i ovulated twice releasing two eggs and they got fertilized at different times about a week apart um and i believe the baby of course she said it's a miracle she couldn't believe it
Speaker: She had suffered three miscarriages, a baby girl in 2019, another in 2020. And the last one nearly killed her, according to her. They had lost hope and she knew she wanted more kids. I was very optimistic and was like, it's going to happen. But both baby boys. You ain't lying, Brian.
Speaker: uh both both baby boys were born six minutes apart uh I beg to differ Brian because it's not Texas so it's automatically better oh we don't have the cowboys here any place where the cowboys aren't is better go ahead and argue that because you can't
Speaker: Oh, I'm trying. Brian's a fucking Pittsburgh Steelers fan too, I think, or some dumb shit like that. Houston, Texas. Is he a Houston Texans fan? Yeah, they're about to get sued. They're about to get sued. They're about to get their asses sued right back to Tennessee and become the Oilers again. That ain't gonna happen. That ain't gonna happen. Fucking Texas.
Speaker: Brown's have zero Super Bowl rings. I'm sorry, how many Super Bowl rings this Houston have? You know what the Browns do have eight championships. That's two more than the Pittsburgh Steelers. That still is final thing. Is it what? I think it's a steal. I don't think he's I don't think he's a Steelers fan. I feel like he's a Steelers fan. He looks like a Steelers fan. He looks like somebody would kiss his sister.
Speaker: He looks like somebody who got circumcised by somebody kicking his sister in the jaw. Speaking of incest, in other news, I didn't have this nor do I care for it. But Tony, when you got married or Jeffrey, when you got married, well, no, Jeffrey, I know you didn't.
Speaker: Maybe you did. Did you have a bachelor party? No. Certainly no. Okay. So neither one of you guys had strippers or anything at your bachelor party? No, God, no. Well, on tiktok recently, a stripper posted a video. Oh Jesus. Talking about a bachelor party that she worked at.
Speaker: a stripper claim that she accidentally worked her own brother's bachelor party and she didn't realize it was him until she was completely naked getting ready to give him a little uh you know the little uh lappy dance wow you want to talk about shooting a man's horse just walk
Speaker: The woman named Kendra opened up about her dreadful experience on TikTok and it quickly went viral, leaving many people on the internet stunned to her horror, to her horror, to her horror, Kendra who works as an only fans model and an exotic dancer and taking off all her clothes before she had noticed that her sibling was in the audience watching her.
Speaker: Two things. One thing. And we might get to it in this story. How did her brother not not know when she came out? You want to answer? You really want to answer? No, I've been to bachelor parties where where where I don't know. You can't say alcohol because I've been drunk as shit. I always know. And yeah, but you know, he could have been blindfolded.
Speaker: at one point, you know, cause you know, just cause his boys are with him. Exactly. Maybe not knowing that it's his sister, but like, Oh no, you can feel, but you can't see boy. Cause you're getting married tomorrow. If that doesn't make you not want to cheat anymore. Cause you never know who you're going to run into.
Speaker: Alright. Well, I said, uh, Kendra said, I I ended up being the stripper at my brother's bachelor party and I didn't realize until I was completely naked. Kendra wrote in the clip which has now been viewed over 10 million times. I'm going to tell you his homeboys ain't **** No. Yeah, exactly. I knew they did it the **** with dude. You little ignorance. Some of my **** Oh, I don't get triggered by the
Speaker: Uh -huh. The video quickly sparked debate between viewers with some wondering why Kendra didn't notice that her brother was there before she became fully unclued. Again, that was going to be the second part of my question. How do you not know? Okay. Well, once again, because, well, as a guy who was a bouncer, I'm going to clarify this before I say as a guy who worked in a strip club, as a guy who was a bouncer, most of our, and I will say most of our girls paid attention to who was at the bar.
Speaker: or who, you know, they actually, they actually didn't, they weren't like, take your money. You know, they actually finished the story, but we're going to have to make this clear. His homeboys and shit. They fucking know his homeboys and shit because you know, damn well, as soon as she came out, they knew. Well, literally, I mean, if you were taking your clothes off in front of me, you'd have your eyes closed. You don't want to see my reaction. Mm hmm. But, uh, comment tonight, folks.
Speaker: take a close off in front of Jeff, he's going to get a flashback. I didn't realize until I woke up with it. Oh, damn. There's there's a whole lot of things going on there. I haven't seen that. No, she was blindfolded. But
Speaker: Yeah, so the debate is wondering why her brother didn't know it was there, or she didn't know that it was her brother before she came from. How do you not notice as one person while another at her? I would have noticed all of my brother's friends and most definitely my brother. But here's the thing. Here's the thing. If you're a stripper, you don't care about your brother's friends as long as they're giving you money. Exactly.
Speaker: You don't care about that. They knew who she was. They know who her sister was. Of course they do. They know who her sister was. Not necessarily. Mike, if you had a sister, I wouldn't be able to pick her out of the lineup. That was an asshole practical joke. Yeah, but if you, okay, so, okay, fair enough because I wouldn't be able to pick your sisters out of a lineup either, Justin. We've been friends for 25 years. Exactly.
Speaker: But at the same time, if you're, you know, if, if, if you're in it, like, okay, like my buddy, well, no, like, like, like my buddy, like my buddy, Donnie, who, him and I grew up together. We've been friends forever. Even, even my, my buddy, Kevin, uh, who him and I have been friends for like 18 years or whatever. My buddy, Louie, who we've been friends for years, years.
Speaker: I know their sisters. Well, Kevin don't have sisters, but, you know, I know his brother or whatever, but, you know, like I know Louis sister, I know Donnie sister, you know, you're going to know.
Speaker: You know, if you go to a bachelor party and she comes out, you're gonna be like, oh, shit. Oh, shit. I'm gonna finally see him. If the relative is naked, first of all, you don't know what your female relatives look like naked as we've all grown up because we don't look at each other like that once we hit our team.
Speaker: So depending upon where you go, you definitely know what your relatives look like. That's true. It could have been a masquerade party where she had a mask on. He had a mask on. Nobody noticed because honestly, how often do you look at your sister's tits? You know, so you don't, you don't because you're not retarded. But my point is like there are a million factors why she didn't know it could have been just a fucking dark ass room.
Speaker: and a light on her blinding her from seeing something on the other side. I'm going to say it again. It's a very simple answer. His homeboys ain't shit.
Speaker: No, no, I can't really blame the homeboys because at the end of the day, once again, we're going to hire you for a bachelor party. Chris has multiple, multiple sisters. I couldn't pick them out of a fucking lineup and I've known him for 25 years. I've met one of his sisters. I couldn't pick her out of the lineup right now. If she was a stripper and you hired her for a bachelor party and she showed up, you wouldn't recognize her? No.
Speaker: I literally have had conversations with Chris's younger sister and I could not pick her up. Me and my homeboys probably would have gotten a fight if one of us got with one of our sisters like that.
Speaker: Oh, no, we've had that. My, my one sister was in, was in building trades. She was in our class, but well, you know, uh, it doesn't say if they just went to the strip club or if they hired, if they hired, easy to, easy to, well, again, Tim, if they were from Texas, then yeah, you know,
Speaker: It's a normal thing in Texas. All I'm saying is like there's a million factors on how she didn't know and how he didn't know. Because once again, I'm not looking at her face. I said it before, I'm gonna say it again, there's one main fact, his homeboys ain't shit. But you can't put 100 % of the blame on his homeboys.
Speaker: How many sisters do you have? How many sisters do you have? How many sisters do you have? That's true. Well, Chris has like 40. I got two. I have three and a half. There you go. What's up, Nick? My point is, OK, but once again, I don't know what they look like naked.
Speaker: Well, I don't either. But I'm sure I'd want to find out. I'm quite sure I want to see the face of my stripper. Because y 'all ain't going to clown me on video later on. You sure wish you would have done that. And that is true. That is true. That would be something we would do that unless Hire Tony's sister gave him a laugh. I told them both. I get where you're saying you can blame the homeboys. But at the end of the day, how close are they? I mean, they could be like work buddies.
Speaker: Well, yeah. No, but but but but but but you know where what was it with Josh Gad and Kevin Hart where Josh Gad's character had no fucking friends and he hired Kevin Hart to be his best man. And Kevin Hart showed up a bunch of dudes. This is your crew.
Speaker: but when you bring the guys together for a Basler party, you're going to bring a bunch of this. You know, yeah, usually, usually you're going to bring your clothes because your best man's going to put it together, whatever. But at the same time, you know, much like Jeff and I, Jeff and I have been friends for 25 years, but his sisters are all older than, than, than us. So, you know,
Speaker: Well, no, it's not it's not even that like not knowing there I don't I don't know his sisters because they were all older than us and a lot My sisters were out of high school for like three or four years before I met Chris Yeah, so I mean if you if you got a friend like that that you even if you you might not know
Speaker: Like I said, my buddy Donny, him and I grew up together. We've literally been friends our entire lives. I've known Louie and I've known each other since I was like 20. And Kevin and I, I've known him since he was like fucking 15 or 16 or some shit. And those were guys that I hung out with all the time and their sisters, like Donny's sister.
Speaker: was she's younger I think she's younger than me a little bit so she was always around right and where like Louie's are like my buddy Louie his sister was my age I'm thinking about all the guys I know the older sisters yeah and if that would have happened did a bit of fighting oh no I guarantee I'm sure I'm sure he was like you guys are assholes you didn't check this bitch
Speaker: Yeah. But again, it doesn't say the story. However, I want to be there for Thanksgiving. I want to be a fly on the wall when everybody gets drunk and they start talking about it. Remember that time when your sister gave you a lap dance? I'm in bed. I said that time about that story. Oh, well, it's too late. It's all over the internet. But it goes to Will. But again, like I said, it doesn't say if it was a private party or if they were at the strip club. Right, which is true.
Speaker: So, however, once again, that comes down to his boys, because if you're going to a strip club and your sister works there. Do you remember the strippers? No, not necessarily, because like, I have a friend of mine from high school, Chris, you might actually know her. She was a stripper our senior year. I think she was in cause. Okay, this is a small town in Texas, Glick.
Speaker: Where? There's another story. Is it a small town? I don't know. It doesn't say.
Speaker: But once again, there's a million factors on how she didn't know because at the end of the day, the whole time she's up on the pole or whatever. Bro, you said she was going to do a party. That's why I blame dudes. Yeah, exactly. Dude was going for the money. He's not blaming the dudes. But at the same time, you can't really blame the dudes because, you know, a lot of times I'm not the biggest fan of strip clubs or anything like that. I was a bouncer in them for a while. I know you are, Tony. Trust me.
Speaker: everything about you everything about you says you are the guy that'll go spend your entire check at a strip club and think a stripper like you know what that's the crazy thing. I'm that guy. I know you are like once or twice but typically when
Speaker: One of the clubs that I worked at when they would call for a private party, you would call ahead, and this is a while back, obviously, been years ago. Yeah, you would just, and like say they were ordering three strippers and they'd be like, all right, you know, do you have a hair color preference? You know, Asian, black, white, you know, and then they would just grab three girls that fit what they were looking for and then they sent them.
Speaker: Okay. So, you didn't call and go, hey, or even even like, you didn't call a private service. Yeah, you didn't call and say, you want to send me a white girl. You didn't you didn't call and say, send sparkles, shimmer, and glitter tits to my bachelor party. However, I now want to meet glimmer tits because it just sounds amazing. I got it.
Speaker: If you're calling if you're a married guy, let's say let's say that his boys were married if you're calling a private service You're not gonna give you a real fucking name because it might come back to your wife. I give you that Bob Jenkins is asking for a stripper. I'll go fuck it. I could use the extra 50 bucks. I
Speaker: But I can see Tony's point on the other end where if like his boys knew that his sister was a stripper and they're like, hey, send Kendra, you know, because they've been to the strip club and they see her there and they're like send Kendra. Well, her name was Kendra. Her name was literally Kendra in the store. That's not Chris being racist, Tony. That's just life -imitating art, let me tell you.
Speaker: I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never,
Speaker: Well, exactly. That's what I'm saying. A lot. Exactly. I'm not even on the motherfucker. There's a friend of mine that she's got an OnlyFans account. No, I'm not fanfilling that shit. She's got an OnlyFans account and her family found out and then her OnlyFans account got taken down. No shit, mm -hmm. Yeah. You can't advertise the family jewels that goes to men and women. You can't advertise the family jewels. Only one person gets to see the Glick family jewels.
Speaker: I've seen them, I'm not impressed. Shut up. Well, you're not meant to be impressed. Baby dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.
Speaker: Don't bother me. It is what it is. Yeah. What am I going to do? I got the biggest dick out of everybody. My wife cheated on me because my dick was so big. You never had that happen to you? I'm sorry.
Speaker: What? My wife cheat on me? Yeah. I've had my wife cheat on me. Hey, my girlfriend cheat on me. I said, is this your first episode, Chris? That's what our boy used to tell us on the show. No, but I mean, that's a weird brag still.
Speaker: It's just a weird brag. It's a strange flex there, buddy. It was the strangest flex to the point where every time I heard it, I was like, really? I've heard some stories from Jeff, but damn. You got that one. Jeff told us that he was Tony Hawk's brother.
Speaker: They have the same last name. We're the same last name. Tony, Tony, Tony Hawk, Jeff Hawk, and and Golf Hawk. We're all friends. They're triplets. They're triplets. They're triplets. That's right. We are the birds.
Speaker: Chris, did you, did you receive that email that I sent you about that chick that got in trouble? That is, it's in, it's in there. It's a video.
Speaker: A girl went viral, she went viral on TikTok for throwing her boyfriend's ash, mother's ash. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Did you hear about that? The follow up? Yes, she went to jail. Her boyfriend got an argument. She took his mother's ashes and dumped and threw the vase over the bridge.
Speaker: Her boyfriend, well, no. Her boyfriend supposedly cheated on her. Right. I did see that and I looked more into it. So this crazy bitch, her boyfriend cheated on her, so she took his mom's ashes and just tossed them into the local river wherever they live with the vase. And she recorded it basically for views and likes and she put it on TikTok while she got arrested. Yeah. For defamation of a corpse. Mm -hmm.
Speaker: That's a crime. Yeah. Yeah, you can't. You can't. You can't. I mean, granted, you can smoke a carton of marbles, get mom back. But at the end of the day. I think it's more than a carton, but. Depends on how big mom was. But my point is, is. You've never heard that one? I can't take credit for that one. That is a Jeff Fox brother joke.
Speaker: I'm just glad you went that way, not the other way with the ashes, as far as a joke.
Speaker: No, no, dude, she did. She didn't just throw the base like it's like it's an earn or whatever she did. She took this shit like shook it out and then threw the fucking earn in the river. Yeah, she was she was in the video. She was like she was rambling on. You want to cheat on me? I'm that bitch. She is in jail. Yeah, she got arrested for it because she's supposed to be an unsolved mystery. She might be eventually.
Speaker: Yeah, well, I guarantee you, she's going to get her ass kicked in jail because that's, I'm sorry, you don't. Well, it's not even a matter of getting your ass kicked in jail, but if that man's got sisters or aunts or cousins or any family whatsoever. Yeah, female family.
Speaker: She's going she's going to be getting ass whoopin for a very long time. Every time they see that bitch on the streets, she's catching it. She's catching the cage. That's some disrespectful ass shit. You're going to throw me somebody's ass. No, I can understand.
Speaker: that's the dumb thing that and Chris you Chris and I've spoken on this like these kids are stealing shit from their schools and put it on. We've we've all talked about this stupid. We've all had this discussion. Don't **** video. Yeah, I'm going to break the law but before I do it, I'm going to get all my friends and we're going to record it and post it on Tiktok. I'm going to break the law and record it and put it on Tiktok or Facebook. I mean, can you say States Evidence 101?
Speaker: My youngest child He'll be nine next month. What about you? Six all of you parents out there. I'm gonna tell you again. I've been saying it for months watch the movie Ron goes wrong and pay a fucking attention to the shit you're doing in there can work against you and
Speaker: You don't have to, you don't have to watch a movie to know that. I mean, that's just common sense. Like, okay, you know, we, okay, growing up as kids, growing up as, us growing up. And this is the conversation I had with my wife. Some of the shit we did as kids, if we would have videotaped it, oh, we would have done jail, or dead, because our parents would have killed us. Yeah, well, I mean, that's the thing. Just the dumb shit in general, we did it. You know damn well, when we went, and we didn't even have to be doing anything illegal. We were just doing dumb shit.
Speaker: but there was no, we did both. But there was no evidence. You didn't have your friends. However, there is evidence of somebody's Bronco going through towers, but it was before it was your Bronco. But that wasn't nothing illegal. We went to towers all the time. Yeah, but towers was technically trespassing. It was state owned.
Speaker: Yeah, I know. I embarrassed. Tony is a section of the woods cut out for power lines to go through. And we used to take our trucks up there and go mud running. My Bronco embarrassed a couple Jeep douche bags. All y 'all got radiation pointing in front of microwaves. Probably. Oh, no, probably. But once again, I... My Bronco embarrassed a couple Jeep douche bags, including the guy that I bought my Bronco from at Towers.
Speaker: because they said my Bronco couldn't go where their jeeps went and my Bronco wound up pulling their jeeps out. Once again, once again, to put this into context, you can drive a Jeep under said Bronco. Yeah, pretty much. Well, you actually, I had a buddy of mine who had a, I had a buddy of mine who had a Ford Probe and I had a buddy of mine that had a Toyota
Speaker: it wasn't a super but it looked like a super like uh yeah. Celica and uh when we would go to car shows, they could they could they they could park their cars underneath my Bronco. Oh yeah.
Speaker: Like the probe, the probe had to come in. Like my Bronco sat so high, if he came in sideways, he could get underneath of it. But that Celica right up underneath my bumper and that's when we went to car shows was the tires were too close together. Yeah. Well, the Celica fit the probe. I could park my S 10 underneath.
Speaker: That's why the probe went in sideways underneath. If my truck was sitting like this, it went in this way. And then the Celica went in. When we would go to car shows, my buddy would drive a Celica underneath the truck and just have his, from his bumper to his windshield, stick it out underneath the Bronco. Yeah. Jesus. Yeah, it was a big jump. It was ridiculous. It was stupid big. I drove it once.
Speaker: Graduation day. No, graduation day. Not my, not my brightest. Graduation day. Chris comes over. We literally leave the Bronco at school. Chris comes over to my house. We hang out all day. And then we rode back to the school and Chris had to change into his robes, which are the back of the Bronco. And he's like, drive us over there.
Speaker: He's in a package and he put this shit on. And we had built, you know, the concrete barriers that parking lots have, we built ones for the school because everyone would drive over them. So we built ones that are over a foot tall. We drove over them bitches like they weren't even there. And it was a bumpy ride.
Speaker: he's trying to change as big as that. because I drove over like four of that **** like it was nothing. Not my brightest moment. Let me drive my vehicle because yes, Jeff was the exact same person. He is now when we were eighteen. If I stand corrected, I could stand corrected but didn't have a bench seat. Yeah. In the back seat.
Speaker: No, in front, front was in front. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Front and back, yeah.
Speaker: And it didn't move very well. And I'm a very short guy. So I'm literally sitting on the edge of the seat. And I'm tall. Pushing in the clutch. It's to move. Going, I think, yep, here we go. Oh, shit. Bucket hilarious. And our buddy's standing around the corner as we come around going, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And of course, our favorite teacher sitting there just shaking his head going, these fuckers.
Speaker: They're out of my hair The fact that we didn't kill him from a heart attack was impressive this is just our entire class in general
Speaker: No, but I remember when we were painting the, remember the satellite dish mushroom thing? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Like he wouldn't let us paint it because he thought we'd have paint everywhere. He didn't let us, as in the Jeff and Glick duo, do a lot of things. Yeah, exactly. You know what I'm talking about. Now separately.
Speaker: I just remember every time something come up, Chris and I'd be like, yeah, we'll do it. And he's like, nope, nope, nope. Somebody else, Bob, get over here and paint this. It wasn't even me. It wasn't even me. It was Jeff. Jeff was a reason. I was, believe it or not, I was the sensible one. I was the reason why certain bars have signs that says you cannot water ski in the bar. Not water skiing in the park.
Speaker: in a bar because one of us, one of us, we get a dumb ass idea in high school and the other one would co -sign on it no matter what it was like. Awesome. Kind of like today. We're like, wait, let me grab my phone. Yeah.
Speaker: But again, nothing that's gonna get us arrested, just stupid shit. But that's the thing, nobody was like, nobody was like, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, you're about to do something incredibly stupid, let me get my camera. Get the disposable camera from Walmart. We had to cut out the sections because Tony, you remember Lincoln Logger, old as hell.
Speaker: where they had to cut out, where the two pieces would stick together. Well, we basically built a very big version of those out of eight by eight beams.
Speaker: and to actually get the sections out you would cut lines about a less than a quarter inch thick and you'd have 14 of them and you were supposed to break them off sideways well we figured out that we hit our hammer just right we could fling them across the shop you better not be jumping on my couch you'll be sitting on the floor from now on
Speaker: But we got in trouble a lot of stupid pit, but nothing nothing stupid like let's steal the water cooler off the wall. Yeah. However, I'm sure we would have done it. I just seen Tim in the comments. He said, Bob, the fish sticks, the fish sticks, the question.
Speaker: that was that was a news article that we did. I'm assuming you just heard that. Uh a guy in Germany, I think it was Germany broke into a daycare and stole frozen fish sticks and
Speaker: And we named him Bob and then we gave him a job at nonsensical nonsense. He flew our nonsensical nonsense one, our private jet. Uh, he also, he also drove nonsensical nonsense. Number two, our bus, which the bus had got upgraded into a fuck off as justice, a fuck off hillbilly limousine, which is a giant jacked up ass truck. And, um,
Speaker: Bob also is our spaceship because we have a nonsensical nonsense three, which is our spaceship that our good friend Elon Musk donated to us. And then Jeff unknowingly to me went out and spent money from the budget on a helicopter.
Speaker: and Bob flies that. And every once in a while when we would do the news there for a while, we would Bob went to jail for the fish, fish stick and micro honey, but he was able to come out on work release and be our pilot bus driver. And the only reason we used him was because we, we would always mention where the place was. Exactly. So Bob has currently been rotting in Germany in German jail for, because we don't really using that often because
Speaker: How fortunately, not every news story tells us where we're going. Exactly. But he's still on the payroll. Yeah, he's still there. We play him in fish sticks, but whatever. Yeah, fish sticks and uncooked macaroni. He likes it. He's happy. Yeah, what are we going to do? But Chris, and tell me if I'm wrong, but do you not picture Bob that we know when you say Bob?
Speaker: Because I do. I picture Bob. To a degree, but I'm picturing like if Bob was... I'm picturing a skinnier Bob. Yeah, like I'm picturing like if Bob was from West Virginia and missing some of his teeth, more than likely his dad is also his grandfather and his mom is his aunt. His mom is his dad and his dad is his dad. Yeah, you know.
Speaker: So that's so much Bob from from our Bob. I do picture I do picture the big old face every day every day. Yeah, just that. Oh, yeah, absolutely. And I swear if we can get him on an episode for a little interview because he does own a detailing shop. He does detail cards and he does a pretty good job.
Speaker: Yes, COVID is, unfortunately, COVID, he hasn't been allowed out, so. Yeah, that's the excuse for COVID. Not that we've got to mention him. Not at all. Bob shows up every once in a while. We've talked about him recently.
Speaker: Our Bob is one of the funniest Mexicans I've ever met. And for somebody that lives in Mexico, that's saying hello. That's saying hello, Bob. Seriously, that dude would never fail. Like, Tony, your G -line would literally go to the back of your neck. This dude would literally make you lose it every night. He is fucking hilarious. Way to go, Bob. And he just does the dumbest shit.
Speaker: with that being said gentlemen. Yes. has boys to men once said we've come to the end of the road. Tony's got machi cheese on bended knees. He said that he will make love to them. No, I didn't. One sweet day.
Speaker: Tony said Motown Philly's back again. Nice. And the Machu cheese are saying dear mama. I thought the same thing.
Speaker: make him say. We're cheering Tony on. Chris will be there with his phone to videotape it. This is going on Tony's only fan that he doesn't know about.
Speaker: I don't know. How do you think I'm paying my bills? I didn't get a new job. I just somebody has an only pants. There's a reason why he's always asking for pictures. They start. Do we send me another picture? I said it's dark out now.
Speaker: But yeah, we're good. Call her a show. We're gonna wrap it up. We appreciate y 'all listening. We appreciate y 'all hanging out. We will see you Saturday night with a brand new shoe. Well, maybe I'll be here. Maybe I won't be here. We'll see. Not if they see us first. No, I am in town this weekend, but Jody's coming up Friday. So it's yet to be determined if I'll be here Saturday.
Speaker: All I ask is if you see me, you do. If you don't, you know, Jody says no days off, but, you know, if I decide not to be here, then Jeff has full run of the show. Yeah. Jeff has, Jeff has capability of starting the show and running the show and playing the music and all that jazz. Yeah. So we're going to wrap it up. The only way we know how with our guys at Blacktop Mojo, go ahead and check them out wherever you stream music and on all social media at Blacktop Mojo.
Speaker: Go give them some love. Let them know we sent you. And there it is. That's what I wanted. Oh, sorry. I forgot. No, you're good. But we will see you guys Saturday night with a brand new episode. Enjoy.
Speaker: But she dances naked through the trees until her eyes go red But she whispers prayers into the wind and she communes with the dead
Speaker: Ate the blade above her head As I began to breathe, she said Oh, a mother in the sky Take this back and find I wanna live forever No, a spirit in the earth Give me a new birth Make me a god like you
Speaker: Is she soft to feast? There was a smile on her face as she walked by to leave It's a left to back again
Speaker: Sir, can I help you? Do you have any weapons of any kind? Anything to defend yourself? Sir, this is a speedy mark. We have hot dogs, too, for a dollar. I just put them on the roller yesterday. They're pretty good. No, man. Like, something sharp. Something, like, I can stab to defend myself with.
Speaker: I've got some sharp titter combos over there. It's kind of like a Ritz cracker. All right. Well, let me just take one of these lighters and I'm going to borrow your bug spray and can I borrow your bathroom key as well? Uh, yeah. Bathroom key. All right. I got your bathroom key right there. Make sure you bring that back and that'll be 1362 and I'm going to have to have exact same. So we're in a coin shortage at the moment.
Speaker: Whatever, man. Okay. Just that. Just that. Oh, I'm sorry. Wow! A mother in the sky! Take me back behind! I wanna live forever! And now, a spirit in the earth! Kill me on the bus! Make me the time like you!
Speaker: Oh shit, Chuck! Oh shit, Chuck!
Speaker: I'm all out in the sky, take this sacrifice I wanna live forever And I'll feel it in the air, give me another Make me a guideline
Speaker: Hell yeah. That's how you end the show right there. Ladies and gentlemen, a little black time mojo in your ear hole. We do appreciate y 'all listening. We appreciate y 'all hanging out. Jeffrey, what do you have to say to the people? Deuces. Tony, let these sons of bitches know. These homeboys ain't shit.
Speaker: And with that being said, we'll see you guys Saturday night. Same nonsensical channel. Same nonsensical time. Goodbye, motherfuckers. Hit the bud. What's in the box?
