Nonsensical Nonsense 219 The more you know

Transcript

Speaker: Yes.

Speaker: I must stay watching soybeans.

Speaker: What's going on everybody? Welcome to nonsense. Go nonsense podcast. Happy Saturday. I'm Glick. We got you up in the building. There's a little double dose of Rockley for you. Not only our normal intro, but I said, I'm going to start playing the shit out of that chemist. I do have new Rockley music, but I don't know if I should play it or not, but I might. He sent it to me yesterday. It's a little bit different. I like it. He sent it to me last night. I guess it was for a client, but I really like it.

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Speaker: And if you can't join us live, don't worry, ladies and gentlemen, you can listen to us anytime, any place on Spotify and everywhere you listen to podcasts. Oh, nonsensical nonsense. Give us a follow, give us a like. And if you be so kind, give us a share. Tell your friends, tell your coworkers, tell your mammy, tell your pappy. So make you sound so good, make you want to snag your mama.

Speaker: Okay, deuces guns and knives and drugs no the drugs stay here they're mine the drugs are mine

Speaker: Tony should be here. I mean, some points. He's probably grabbed something. I think they were. I think he said they were at the buffet. Hey, we just got home. We went had some authentic Mexican restaurant food. So you went to Taco Bell? No, we went to a real Mexican place. Well, you always say Taco Bell's authentic Mexican.

Speaker: I mean, it is, it's more authentic than what you eat. I'm just saying. My kid likes olive garden better than Italian food. Your kid also goes to a seafood place and orders chicken tenders, but I can't say anything. I'm not mad at him for that because my oldest son has lived in Italy since 2019 and he would rather have olive garden food.

Speaker: Oh, no, I agree. I agree. No, but we went to the Mexican restaurant tonight. It is authentic, but it's one that I've, you know, remember the one in Mount Vernon?

Speaker: down off the square like the the great grandparents or whatever came here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker: It's the same. It's the same damn restaurant. Porto Vallarta. Porto Vallarta. Porto Vallarta. Yeah. It's the same. It's the same goddamn. So, they do own both of them here in Dark and Heat and then they own one in Johnstown.

Speaker: So, you know, it's it's it's not it's not like, you know, like you get those fake authentic Mexican restaurants. It's it's a real Mexican restaurant, right? Because they're they're actually Mexican. Yeah. And the food's amazing. And the margaritas are stupid. Strong. Yeah. I had a big ass fucking fishbowl. Nice. Margarita. Both Nicki and I had when I was like, you know, margaritas do sound good being the first thing that I ate all day.

Speaker: You start going, I didn't realize it was. I don't know if you've seen that video on TikTok. There's this girl, she's apparently leaving the bar and she's leading up, kiss the wall. And she's like, I thought there were lemon drops. I didn't know they were. And I was like, that's how you pronounce it. Really? That's exactly how you pronounce it. She's literally like,

Speaker: I understand it. Yes, that is exactly how that word is pronounced. 100%. Speaking of drinks, I actually found a TikTok page that shows how to make all these mixed drinks. You know, I've kind of stuck with white Russians for so long. I was kind of like, oh, that looks good. Ooh, no, I don't like peach. Ooh, no, I don't like peach. What's going on, Stevie Wonder? But, yeah, no, I didn't. I'm. Thanks.

Speaker: What did you get at said Mexican restaurant? I'm curious, what did you eat? That was, quote, unquote, unquote. So to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get

Speaker: Yeah, I will take that dance every night. No, I won't touch that. You open the bottle. If I smell it, I'm going. Yeah. I mean, I don't mind having, you know, I might have one or two margaritas. Right.

Speaker: They're probably getting the kids all situated and organized and whatnot I Used to work at a bar and

Speaker: And I did, I, you know, I was, I kind of did, uh, a few things for the bar and, you know, they had, they had one, one of the MC and the MC and I became really good friends and he found out it was my birthday.

Speaker: Oh yeah, I remember you telling me about this. It had me drinking champagne flute, Jose Cuervo. And it was like the world's largest champagne flute. And I literally went, okay, I'm off the clock now. I'm going home. Because one of those, I was done. In actuality, it was like a thimble. Yeah, exactly. So three drops. I'm like, oh, it was horrible. Oh, no. That's right.

Speaker: Since I've been going out to PA, dude, PA has got the craziest alcohol laws in the world. Like, you can only buy what? 190 ounces at one time from the gas stations in their grocery stores. So you have to go do the math.

Speaker: No. I have six -pack, don't send it to the truck, come back and buy a fifth. Send it to the truck, come back. Yeah, so if you pick up a 12 -pack, you have to do the math and make sure you're under the... No, anything that they sell is legal. If you want two 12 -packs, it's in two separate transactions. Yeah, so a couple weeks ago, when I was out there, we bought 18 -pack of Bud Light.

Speaker: Yeah, no, and then she got a white and then she got a 12 pack of white calls.

Speaker: Jack Daniels. Oh, sorry. Jack Daniels. I bet. Jack Daniels, wine coolers, down home punch with the variety bag with the watermelon and all that. That's way different from White Claw. I'm sorry. Yeah, well, I mean, actually, I think White Claw might have a higher alcohol content. I don't know. Those Bud Light Twisted drinks that they used to have. OK, yeah, I remember those. They had like the Long Island Iced Tea, the Black Red. Those things were like eight or nine. And beer is like five.

Speaker: uh those red those red uh red hard ciders or apple juice or whatever i think those are six or seven so maybe eight but um but anyways we went up to the cash or like went up to pay we were at sheets the gas station and she was like we gotta we you have to pay for that i have to pay for this i'm like

Speaker: I'll just pay for both of them. I don't care to, and she's like, no, you're not allowed. And I'm like, this is so dumb. You're literally arguing over who pays and you're just not catching the drift. She got into town and she's like, I got you a case of Budweiser or Bud Light. And I was like, okay, cool. Just so you know, you could literally buy like 30 cases of beer and go pay for it all at once. And nobody's going to bat an eye, especially at Walmart and newer. It'd be like, Oh, let's be Tuesday.

Speaker: you know, it's it's so crazy. I mean, we're literally neighbors Ohio and

Speaker: different. I mean, even like when I moved to South Carolina, you know, because here in Ohio, they stopped selling alcohol at, I don't know, three in the morning or something like that. And then they start reselling it again at five. So why, why there's that, that hours of sober up time makes. Yeah, exactly. But when I first moved to South Carolina, I know one night or one time that the kids and their mom came up here to Ohio and I was home alone. I was like, well, there's a bar at the end of my street.

Speaker: I'm going to walk down there. It was springtime. So I was like, I'm going to walk down there. I'm going to watch the Reds game, or like the beginning of summer or whatever. I'm going to walk down. I'm going to watch the Reds game, have a few beers, blah, blah, blah. Well, you know me. The game started at eight. I sat there for the whole game. So I drank the whole time. And then when I got done, I was walking across. And before he got back to my apartment, it was a gas station, open 24 hours. I was like, I don't want to go in there and grab a Pepsi, a bag of chips or whatever.

Speaker: And as I'm walking in there, it's like three o 'clock in the morning, three 30 in the morning. And this guy's walking up to the counter with, with 12 pack of beer. And I was like, wait, you can buy a beer stir still. And he's like, yeah, looked at me like I was an idiot. So fuck the Pepsi. I'm gonna buy me a 12 bag. So I got it to the register and I was talking to the guy in South Carolina. They can sell alcohol 24 seven. So you can't do wine on Sundays.

Speaker: Because that makes sense. That's like a religion thing, I think. I don't really know why you can't buy wine on Sundays. I was just going to ask, is there a reason behind that? I think it's a religion thing because I think you can't buy a liquor until a certain time on Sunday, too. It has to be like after church lets out, I guess, then you can buy liquor.

Speaker: Well, they have a law here, and it's basically all of Mexico, when during elections, like the day of an election, they can't sell alcohol. And I'm like, really? I mean, I got the day off. The day of our elections, they give people alcohol. When I first heard that, I was like, OK, so let me. And regardless of who you are,

Speaker: Like as a tourist, you can't buy alcohol on election day. You're not going to vote obviously because you're here for a week, two weeks or whatever. You still can't buy alcohol on that day. I was like, yeah, you guys should put that in the flyer because I'd be best if I flew down here and spent all the money and come down here and stay in a nice hotel and I can't have alcohol that day. What the fuck?

Speaker: You guys wouldn't have a bar no more because I burn it down. I need to know. Yeah, I need to know what days are election days and what days aren't election days. There's a couple of days and then and then they they they do stop selling alcohol. At a certain time. In Cancun.

Speaker: I think it's like 4 a .m., but at 6 a .m., you could buy again. I'm like, really? I mean, so I pass out for a couple hours and just come back, right? But basically, that's what essentially is my thought behind the whole thing is they just stop selling alcohol for two or three hours. So people just go home and maybe sober up. Right.

Speaker: that would get out or you know, if you've been out drinking, you know, if you've been out, if it's Saturday and you've been drinking your face off since fucking uh 12 o 'clock and then it's it's three o 'clock in the morning, it probably is a good idea to quit drinking. Yeah. I mean, yeah, but you're so drunk at that point where you're just like, man, I can keep drinking. But like with this new law where you can't smoke in public, the also part of the law is stores cannot display cigarettes.

Speaker: So luckily I know what I want when I go to the counter. Yeah, they cannot display them. They have them in a blacked out case now. You know, the rack behind the cash. Like they used to do, like they used to do with the porn magazines. They would have them sitting in front of the registers. Okay, you know how? All you could see was the name. No, no, no, no. You can't even see the name. You know how behind the register you have that rack of cigarettes? Yeah. Well, now that they have a piece of cardboard that's black,

Speaker: in front of it. So they have to open a little, it almost becomes a little drawer now and then you can grab my cigarettes out of it. I think most people that smoke and smoke on a regular basis, they know what they want. It's not like you're going to a gas station and going, I've been smoking for 20 years. I would like. I'd like to try the new parts instead of the Chesterfields that I've been smoking for 20 years.

Speaker: Yeah. But yeah. Can I see your cigarette menu, please, sir? Yeah. I've literally gotten to the point where I know what I want. I have two sets of backups. If they don't have my chest fields, then I'll go with Montana shots. And then if they don't have those, I'll just go back. They've got to be some weird ass Mexican offerings or cigarettes. We don't have those here. Yeah, Chester fields are old as fuck, dude.

Speaker: I've never heard of them. I've heard of them, but I've never seen them anywhere up here. Probably not. I think these are... Actually, the only reason I've ever heard of them is because that's what's useful. 1896 is when these came out. San Juan, Puerto Rico. Wow. They're by Philip Morris, obviously. Yeah, I...

Speaker: I don't know. When I spoke, when I spoke, I spoke. Yeah, these are for exclusive sale in Mexico. Exactly. Yeah. See? Now, when I spoke, I spoke. Montana's. What the **** is a Montana Montana cigarettes? My dad used to smoke Montana's. I don't think he did. Yeah, he did. I remember cuz I was like, that's such a weird name for a packed cigarettes but okay, I'm gonna steal them anyways. I used to

Speaker: they're they're they're kind of a they're a knockoff version of uh lucky strike basically so they're a knockoff of a knockoff yeah pretty much god damn stupid cheap they're like well well the state of montana is ranked 25th in the u .s for uh for its uh u .s in the u .s for its cigarette tax of a

Speaker: Yeah. I thought New York was because New York, New York's like, I was talking to a guy. No, New York has the highest. Right. That's why I remember like 10 years ago, a pack of Newport's in New York were like 11 bucks. Yeah. I imagine now they're like $473.

Speaker: Well, when I moved here, I could buy a pack of marble reds. It cost me 10 pesos. I couldn't even find these Montana cigarettes. Montana Kings?

Speaker: Maybe, I don't know. I'll buy a pack the next time. You fucking smoke them, jackass. No, I haven't smoked Montana's in like three years, because the Chesterfield, they have the pack of 25, where Montana's only coming in the pack of 20. Chesterfield coming in a pack of 25, which is kind of funny. Yeah, we've had, yeah, yeah. For the same price. Yeah, we've talked about that before, because up here, you get a pack of cigarettes, 20 cigarettes in a pack.

Speaker: Well, they have the 20 packs. They also have packs of 14, which I find weird. Well, make sure you don't sell them singles up in New York. Otherwise, NYPD will kill you. You can buy individual cigarettes here. It's technically illegal, but so many stores do it. It's ridiculous.

Speaker: I remember when I used to do it in high school, you'd pay, motherfuckers would give me like, like $2 .75 for a cigarette. I'm like, hey, let me go buy another pack, boys. You know, I sell five cigarettes and have enough for a pack of cigarettes back in the day. Well, no, but like when I moved here, I could buy a pack of marble Reds for, I think it was, uh,

Speaker: nine pesos and then it went up to ten which is like at the right at today's exchange it's like 50 cents especially since when uh when i when i used to work at kroger's i'd uh i worked the first register where the cigarettes were yep i think i buy i buy i buy one of those packs of uh like the square packs of bubblegum or not bubblegum but like the extra gum put cigarettes on top scan the gum

Speaker: That's what extra gum costs. Yeah. And then right now, a package has filled. I think it's $3 .50. Well, we would have the car, like the cardboard six packs. Every place with beer because I wasn't here.

Speaker: You know, I was I was smart.

Speaker: that's what I that's what I meant. I was an evil mastermind. I was an evil genius. I was like, thank you. We go back to my evil genius lair. What are we going to do with our with our with our with our extra and root beer, extra gum and

Speaker: Uh, who was it? I had a buddy of mine. He used to dip and he would buy, remember the, the, the rolled gum or the rolled gum and he'd do the same thing with his, with his dip because it was roughly the same size. Or the other, or the other fun thing to do was our friends who did stocking would accidentally drop a case of beer. Once it was dented, you had to write it off and it got thrown away.

Speaker: So you'd break one or two bottles and then set it outside the dumpster so our other friends could come and get the beer.

Speaker: This is the 14th case of Budweiser I've dropped this today And I have to go to a party afterwards just call me Mark Sanchez, I'm fumbling all over the place Tony's not here. He would get that reference But it's

Speaker: We had to be resourceful back the day because if not, you didn't have alcohol or or or you know, you turn eighteen to move out of your parents house and

Speaker: move three minutes down the road from your older sister who was old enough to buy alcohol. Well, no, you know, my sister, of course, was old enough to buy alcohol for me, but she never would because she was. Well, your sister was also like thirty five when you were born. She wasn't. She's like because you were one of seventy five kids. She's like your parents started having kids in nineteen twenty three. So they're old as fuck.

Speaker: I love Jeff's mom and dad though. They're awesome. Jeff's mom doesn't like me. No, but you know, the funny thing is, is like, if we really needed beer, I just, we just literally give my money to dad and dad would just buy us a cake. Well, yeah. And that was the thing like growing up, growing up back home, you know, I could go anywhere around Blayden'sburg or not so much Blayden'sburg because it was a dry town, but I could go into Howard and I could buy beer because I, you know, I'm, you know,

Speaker: played on the football team and stuff like that and was like, okay, okay, go to the barns and be like, hey, I got a 12 pack to go. But yeah, it's, this new law thing is like, they're just forcing me to stay home more. And it's like, darn it. It's, it's, it's nothing. And that's again, that's, that's again, where we tease you and say you're 20 years behind it. We did that 20 years ago.

Speaker: I know and but it but you gotta remember it's Mexico. This is this is the land of basically I can get away with whatever I want if I got enough cash. I mean, but it's the same sense. I mean, you remember growing up and going to like the restaurants and they had the smoking section. It basically this this is what separated non smoking from smoking. So it's like here we are smoking.

Speaker: It's like the plexiglass of nowadays. That's going to stop COVID. Good thing you're in the non -smoking area over there because if you weren't, I can't smell nothing except for that guy's cigar. Or like, you know, back in the day, you used to be able to smoke on a plane and now all of a sudden you're not allowed because it's dangerous. You could blow the plane.

Speaker: If you want to see something funny, watch the movie The Goods with Jeremy Piven. The scene on the airplane, he's talking about being able to smoke on a plane. It is the most awe -insiring, I need a cigarette speech ever. That movie cracks me up. There's a lot of places, like I said, OSU campus.

Speaker: We're ignoring you. And a lot of hospital campuses and college campuses in general have gone that route. You can't have tobacco products anywhere on the tobacco products, even dipping. Yeah. On campus. Well, that's bullshit. So much for the land of the free, right? House! I blame the left. Welcome, Tony D. Nice of you to make it 30 minutes late.

Speaker: Yeah, we went to eat, too. Yeah, we went to eat, too. Guess we made it home in time. Yeah, nice. Hey, boys. Look what I got here. Hey, where are the white women at? Oh, it's funny when you do it to smoke or it's funny when you do it to golf.

Speaker: It was hilarious. Don't do it. Don't do it to Tony. You're muted, Jeffrey. There you go. You're muted, Jeffrey. I have an internet connection issue. But I mean,

Speaker: And I think, I think one of the biggest things about like the vaping and stuff like that, it's just because the idiots that have them monster mods will go and be at a fucking bar or a restaurant or something like that. And they're, you know, you can't fucking see shit because it looks like some horror movies. You're walking through, you're walking through a four alarm fire. Yeah.

Speaker: I like when I worked at Ork and they never said a back draft. Cool. Right. When I worked at Ork and they're like, Hey, you guys can vape in the office. Don't worry about it. No big deal. Cause you know, I use vaping to quit smoking. A lot of people have. He's one of them. Um, and they're like, yeah, you know, we don't, we don't care if you vape in the office, not going to hurt anything. Well, then the guys who just started vaping, just a bait.

Speaker: because they like the flavors or whatever. They come in in these fucking fucking bait the size of a goddamn jet engine. And you can't walk down the hallway because it's a smoke cloud. It looks like a fucking ninja just appeared and disappeared or some shit. Ninja vanished in the hallway and then they were sitting off the goddamn smoke detector. They were sitting off the fire alarm. So it's just like, what are you guys doing? Why? And it was our termite text, but they were all fucking retarded anyways.

Speaker: No, but I did watch. Tony, I got a movie for you. I think you get a kick out of. I got two of them. Wow, really?

Speaker: I did watch shotgun wedding with Jennifer Lopez and damn. She looked good for 53. It was actually really funny. I actually sat and laughed. Now the other one I watched was you people. That looks pretty funny. It looks funny, but I was kind of like, I was afraid it looks funny, but also it looks like it's going to be like we're

Speaker: He hasn't been funny for real since Beverly Hills Cop 2.

Speaker: I really can't argue that with you, man. He was funny in Shrek as Donkey, but I can't argue that with you. He's got a couple of good one -liners, but Eddie Murphy's character plays this ultra -woke. I had to want to get too much into it because it's very political.

Speaker: But the worst part of the whole thing is they somewhat make fun of podcasters because Jonah Hill's character has a podcast. And when people find out, they start, they giggle. They're like, really? And I was like, fuck you! Fuck you, guys! I'm a podcast, damn it! I thought it looked like a funny movie, but at the same time, I thought it looked super woke because... It is.

Speaker: you know, it's a white guy dating a black girl, but at the same time, they're Jewish. They're like Jewish or something. They're Jewish. They're very Jewish. David, you come to me, fucking talking about exhibit and bit my ride, cracks me up, dude. Holy shit, I was lost it. We watched that. At their wedding, he's actually voting. He's reading the history of his phone of exhibits. Trying to be woke and shit. It was so funny.

Speaker: But the best part is Eddie Murphy takes Jonah Hill, the ride in the car, and there's a song about people in Paris by Kanye West. Yeah, people in Paris, I'll say.

Speaker: I'm going to give you credit for that. And Tom comes up and Jonah Hill's like, I love this song. I love it. And it's like, why do you like it? Really, Jeff, you don't want to quote the name of the song first. And any purpose that they're going, any purpose that they're going, what's the name of this song? And Jonah Hill's like, friends and parents?

Speaker: He's dancing around it. And then Eddie Murphy takes him to a basketball court in the hood. Because Jonah Hill's talking about, oh, I hang out in the hood all the time. I go over to this park and play basketball. And Jonah Hill gets a little one up on him. And it's fucking, it's easy. But it wasn't like, it wasn't laugh out loud, like, holy shit, this is the funniest thing I've ever seen.

Speaker: Did you really just shave the whole side of your head? We both do. Tony, it's the same haircut. He's literally had that same haircut since like 1985. Nah. Yes, yes. This is exactly how I cut my hair every time, Tony. And every time you have something to say about it. You shut your dirty mouth, Tony. Ooh. This has spoken. Put her on camera, please. Put her on camera.

Speaker: You won't tell me ma 'am. Tell me. No. We watched that. We watched that. We watched that last night. Yeah, Nikki said it was pretty decent. Yeah, it was. It was pretty good.

Speaker: I want to see it. How good was Lozamo? Look at Lozamo. 10 out of 10. 10 out of 10? Lozamo was like Lozamo, but it's so weird seeing him as a bad guy. No, you gotta watch Empire. Yeah. Oh yeah, I've never seen Empire. But yeah, it's so weird. I mean, even though he was a bad guy and he was on, he was still on Lozamo too.

Speaker: the first he was in both John Wick one and two, but he wasn't really a bad guy. He was in John Wick one and two. Yeah, he plays the he's he owns a chop chop. Oh, yeah. And he was also a bad guy in Romeo Juliet. Damn, I don't leave those way.

Speaker: Yeah, but you know he when he's been a bad guy he's still kind of he's still been John like Wazamo He hits right like in this movie. There was no like John like Wazamo one -liners or anything. He was just a bad dude But I liked it was a great movie and and the dude that plays Santa Yeah, that's offer but he's he his

Speaker: Not really a major spoiler alert, but his backstory, he's a Viking. He was a Viking soldier or like a Viking berserker. And it was, I was like, hell yeah. But no, it was way better than I thought it was going to be. It was a really good movie. It's one that I'll definitely watch again.

Speaker: I was watching that shotgun wedding movie. And like I said, JLo looked good for 50 -30 by the way. Like, holy shit. I literally looked it up. Bullshit. That's Tony. I haven't seen that. When you see the scene I'm talking about, she's trying to coerce her fiance to come to bed. This should look better than Jamie Lee Curtis on true lies.

Speaker: Oh, she blowed Jamie up. No, no, no, no, no. She literally got these little booty shorts on and takes them off, Tony. But you don't see them. No, you don't see anything. What? What? What? But, but Lenny Kravitz. Holy shit. Lenny Kravitz shows up and I lost it.

Speaker: OK. I laughed so hard. It was actually pretty good. I was actually really impressed. It's only on Prime. It's a Prime original. But then I'm going to have two cow footstools. You're going to have two cow footstools. Don't worry. Don't worry, Chris. I already told you. What up, Jeff? Nobody likes you anyway. I'm trying to find a price list and a dealer. I need a cow dealer. Oh my god. This is why nobody likes you, Jeff. Just so you know.

Speaker: I gotta look out for my best friend. I gotta send him stuff. She's staying. She's staying. She's staying. I'm gonna start sending your wife brochures for different countries so she leaves your ass again. That's okay. She's gonna have a man in every other country. In every continent. I got a goat dealer. I got regular. Have you ever thought about going to Asia?

Speaker: She was asked me about Egypt the other day. I was like, maybe you should go check out Russia in the Ukraine right now. I hear it's lovely. I hear Russia in Ukraine is absolutely beautiful right now. You should go check it out. Turkey and stuffing rollups. Turkey and stuffing rollups.

Speaker: Ooh, I've got it in. It looks like slices of turkey with stuff in it. Yeah, you cut it up like sushi. No. No. No? No. Like lunch meat turkey or turkey? So you get lunch meat turkey, put stuff in it, and then roll it up and pour gravy over the top of it. I'm kind of in on that, though.

Speaker: would have pearls up both cracks. Jesus. Because that's not just on the back side. No, I know. There are no words. A pair of panties, if you want to call it. Basically, it was a waistband that had a pearl necklace that went from. I saw something like that. The front crack. I've seen something like that. I was like. Although that might feel good on the front crack.

Speaker: that's that's from my understanding. No, I don't think so. We're so we're we're uh we're gonna go get our tongues pierced at some point here probably soon, right? Because I've always wanted mine done. So, today, we were spinsters and I was like, hey, baby. Uh you know, we're talking about getting our tongues pierced. Look at this and they sell a tongue ring.

Speaker: Yeah, but it comes with extra batteries. Yeah, I had one. I had my tongue pierced a long time. I think I pierced my tongue right after high school. And then since I did body piercing for like eight years, I gauged my tongue ring to the point where I was at, I think, was that a six?

Speaker: Well, now that I'm now that I'm in my forties, I'm going to do all the piers. I, you know, like I wanted to get my septum piers. I wanted to get my tongue piers. I don't think I'm going to get my, my, the brain piers. Like I wanted back when I was in my early twenties. Yeah. Right here. The bowl. Yeah. So, so we can, so Nikki can tie a chain around it and drag him around. That way she has a cow. I'll be your bowl.

Speaker: I'm not doing that now. It fucks up your gums and it's a pain in the ass. But, you know, I do want to get my tongue pierced and I wouldn't mind getting my septum done. But, you know, when I was younger, there was a lot of piercings I wanted. Unfortunately, I had somebody going, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker: That was the one problem I had with working in a tattoo and body piercing shop and doing the body piercing. If I wanted something pierced, I just did it. If I worked at a tattoo shop, I would just be like, hey, here's my check. Go ahead and do my back. Well, you got to remember that the overhead for a piercing literally cost the company like $4.

Speaker: Oh, yeah, no, it's stupid cheese. Oh, no, no. Because I... Because you buy a bulk, obviously. But I hope you like mashed potatoes. I love mashed potatoes. Well, because once you do get your tongue pierced, that motherfucker swells up like you read about it. I'll eat ice cream. I walked across the street the day I got my tongue pierced to do tequila shots and eat cheese sticks with marinara sauce. Don't be a pussy.

Speaker: I'm not saying that. I'm not saying... It's well established on the show. I'm not saying that I'm a pussy. I'm just saying you have an open wound, so let's eat stuff too. Yeah, so you sterilize it with alcohol. Well, yeah, I guess, yeah.

Speaker: I mean, you know, if we learned anything from the Wild West, if you got a gunshot, you took a shot of whiskey and then you poured it on your wound. A little bit on my wound, a little bit down the gullet, a little bit more on the wound, some more on the gullet. So, I pass out and I don't feel shit. Wake up the next morning going, god, my fucking arm hurts. What they got? Oh my god, there's a hole. There's a hole in my arm. Look at that.

Speaker: I blew a finger all the way through. I'm so drunk, so I don't feel it. I'm just saying. You're fucking my arm over here. Don't mind me. I mean, you're a tough guy, so deal with it.

Speaker: I can't go so many ways right now. Especially these. We went to the Mexican food, the Mexican food restaurant. We went to the Mexican restaurant. And Alexa, she got this fucking quesadilla. It was a quesadilla fajita. And this motherfucker had to be every bit of six pounds. And none of us expected it to be that high. This thing was huge. So she got it. Surprisingly, she ate about half of it. And at the end of it, she was just kind of fucking playing with it. And I said, Alexa, what the hell are you doing? Finger fucking your food?

Speaker: I want this. How big is it? Because I want to know if I should order two. That's what she said. Three.

Speaker: because there's a couple places here. It's not as bad in Mexico City.

Speaker: it's a sandwich and I on the picture, it looked about this big when I got it, it was like bigger than my plate. Oh, yeah. Well, that's like oh, that's like when we go to it's like two dollars. Yeah. That's like when we go to people in Pennsylvania and the first time I went there,

Speaker: I didn't think those sandwiches were going to be as big as they were. Like I said, you could literally cut that sandwich in fours and all four sections is like the size of like a normal half of a normal sandwich. You know, like bread, but not to mention you got everything in between it, coleslaw, french fries, meat, cheese.

Speaker: You've seen those those big sandwiches I get it's got like twelve dollars worth of meat in it. Yeah I said Chris a picture of that Tony and he was like Jesus Christ. What do you feed in an army? I said I got four of them. Yeah Well, that's a that's a those Pete the the promenade bro sandwiches are like that sandwich that you get. They're fucking huge man And then later on the night when you're hungry again, you have a second meal. Oh No, I I fucking

Speaker: I can't. I can't. I can't. But then afterwards, I'm laying there going. Yeah. Well, last time we went to Peabro's, we left and then went drinking. So I was like, I'm like 12 beers in. I'm like, I didn't even got a buzz right now because I got all that bread and everything sitting in my stomach.

Speaker: with the 47 shots we did that night didn't help matters. Yeah, that was almost $300 tab night. Yeah, I'll do it. Well, I have I have and we might have to wait till I have to break but.

Speaker: Somebody wanted to ask a question. Ask who a question? You wanted to ask a question. Oh yeah, we'll get to it in the next hour. I was going to say we'll probably get that in the next hour because I was literally going to start the show. It was good mooning boys, good mooning. I've been up since the crack of dawn and I'm waiting for Chris to ask his question.

Speaker: I gotta get that cricket sounder. I really do gotta get that cricket sounder. My kid took my phone. Kevin's been trying to watch a movie on my flickster, the website that Tony and I used to watch movies. I've watched movies on every corner.

Speaker: And, and he's been bugging me for like three days. Well, lately at work, I use my phone plus the computer all day long. So I'm like, no, no, no, no. So I said, you go. Honey, I will mute you. I mean, I held you last night. Wrong Jeff.

Speaker: Let's just call a spade a spade and you know, it's it's the bad 20. He called you a spade. It's the bathroom I didn't call tell me anything Once again, I reiterate Some people have an office with an ensuite bathroom. I have a bathroom with an ensuite office. Oh my god I've heard this every fucking week. Stop it. Well, so stop being jealous It's a bathroom office

Speaker: My bathroom office makes me. He's got a boffus. A boffus. I like that. I'm going to make a sign for it. I'm going to do my boffus. How do you spell that? B -O -F -F -I -C -E. There you go. F -U -C -K -Y -O -U. A boffus. Fuck you. I was going to say, I spelled A -P -C -D -E.

Speaker: Why me you? It's Superman now. My office isn't that big. I can't do the dance.

Speaker: Tony's like, I'm not dealing with these motherfuckers today. Get you a drink, Tony D. Get you a drink Saturday night. Get you six drinks then. Yeah. Spinach with cheese, chicken on the stick, pepper steak and rice, drumsticks. No peanut butter chicken. What'd she say? She said orange crushed soda. I said no peanut butter chicken? No, I didn't do peanut butter chicken. No, ma 'am. No. No cow legs? No. What the fuck wrong with you? No.

Speaker: No, that's a French thing It's a Chinese thing This one doesn't have octopus in it thank God I went to New York There's

Speaker: that's the name of the restaurant before anybody yells at me. Yeah, I know. The one that we just passed? Yeah. Right beside the Mexican restaurant. Yeah, that's true. No chains will be with a name. No. What sound does an A make? Sound is an E make.

Speaker: Oh, let me get my grammarly up and running. Either way, they have they have from time to time, they have frog legs at their buffet. Not as good as the frog legs we used to make, but our frog legs were fresh. Yeah, I'm good. I don't think I've ever had frogs. Frog legs are are amazing. I don't want to. It's there's like no bones in there. What? And they don't know they don't taste like chicken. There's like no bone in there.

Speaker: You just pick up a bullfrog and bite his leg off it's delicious Frog legs are delicious man. Take your word for it. Nope

Speaker: We were, we were the only 13 year olds that that took seasoning camping with us so we could season our broccoli and our and our crawdads that we got. Now, crawdads. Now, that's a different story. We would catch it. We would catch them fresh right down there in the creek and then where we camped at. It's a creek. In the creek. You heard what I said. If you're from Ohio, Tony, it's you. It's a creek. You heard what the **** I said. It's a creek. It's a creek.

Speaker: It's a crick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a

Speaker: I'm from that place. Chris is that. Chris is from that place where where they filmed wrong turn and deliver. Hell no. Hell no. And the hills have eyes. The hills have eyes on the bottom. We're we're we're so, yeah, that was in the desert. We're so far out there, we don't get sunlight unless they filter it to us. Yeah. This is that place where you can walk through the woods and just hear people going, I want to

Speaker: You stop at the gas station before you go over to Chris's house and you hear, you got a bird in my mouth. Hey there, you smell like a big boy. And of course, Burt Reynolds is on every corner. What I want to do is get some drivers. There's wanted signs of Burt Reynolds.

Speaker: Wanted for murder. No, I am from fucking middle of nowhere, Podunk ass Ohio. Yeah. So Jeff is for the sticks and you from over there. Yeah, from over there. If you get to the sticks, when you get to Chris's house, you've gone way too far. Lock your doors and come back. We're about 30 miles past the sticks. Yeah.

Speaker: My hometown had 2 ,000 people, Chris's hometown had four. We had like 400. First and foremost, it was like 400. We were the only family that was the oddball out.

Speaker: There was basically like three, maybe four families. We were the only ones that weren't a member of one of those three, maybe four families are like, Oh, these outsiders fucking sons of bitches. Look at that big one born and raised in that house. And they're still going outside.

Speaker: I grew up there. Look at the big ones. Stay away from that big Sasquatch -looking one. Motherfuckers, eight years old and got a beard already. He's eating frogs just all the time. He's eating frogs. He went to the house the other day with a bucket of bleach and a frog in his hand. He just carried around business. Say it again. Can you find Mountain Dew Baja Blast in your supermarket?

Speaker: They don't sell hot glue there. You can buy it at the gas station, like 20 ounce bottles. I want two liters. A two liter Baja Blast. I can't even get two liters of Dr. Pepper. I can bet. Let's homegirl, thanks. Can't you just go on the Walmart app and order it and send it to him? You can't get Baja Blast down there? I can't get Mountain Dew. I can get Mountain Dew only in a can, but it's like six bucks a can because it's quite important.

Speaker: It's like six bucks a can. I **** you not dude. Amazon will sell you 36 cans, three different twelve packs, $75. I don't think they'll do it here. For ballball blast? Yes. Look on Amazon. Tell me from line. Tony, it's $6 .99. It's $5 .99. It's twelve pack at my grocery store. Um we're not reading that, right?

Speaker: Baja blast 12 ounce 24 count. That's asinine. Yeah, you're reading that right. I will get you some Baja blast Tony D. Thank you. Walmart has a case of Baja blast for $107 .68. Yeah, that's on the website. Yeah, that's the website not just store website. That's my point. No, because I have to get it every time James comes home from Italy. So I'll get you some Tony.

Speaker: That's on the Walmart. That's the Walmart app. Yeah, that's the app. Not the store. That's the app. They gotta send it to you. Yeah, so I thought this was like multiple cases, but it's literally says Baja Blast. 12 fluid ounce cans, 24 count. Packaging may vary.

Speaker: package him exactly. That's what I'm talking about. $107 and 68 cents for 24 cans of Mountain Dew and you're pissing you're pissing and moaning about $6 a can down there. What the **** Let me tell you something. That's the same thing. I can't find it locally. You gotta get it. Yes.

Speaker: When I go there, I got to get a large Mountain Dew Baja Blast. Guess what? How about instead of spending $108 on a case of Baja Blast, I just spend $150 and get you a Baja Blast hockey jersey.

Speaker: I can't drink a hockey jersey slap nuts. Yeah, but I'd much rather spend a hundred and fifty dollars on a hockey jersey than a hundred and eight dollars on a case of Mahabla. It's going to last like... This is why I don't ask you shit. Tony, what am I supposed to say? Yeah, I'm going to spend a hundred and eight dollars. They got a white one and a green one. Do you notice that Nikki gave me a direct answer while you're being an ass about it?

Speaker: I'm not being an ass about it. Tony, Tony, wait, wait, wait. I was looking it up because if I could have ordered it on Walmart .com, I would have ordered it for you and sent it to your house. And this is why I thank you. You see the same price that I see. It's not just me. Yeah. Let me ask you a question, Tony. So yeah, I was going to do basically the same thing Nikki said she was going to do. Only I was just going to cut out the middle man of going to the store. Does our timeline extend a little bit longer now, Tony D?

Speaker: I was actually thinking about it 20 minutes ago. I want to give you credit. I thought that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think you'll make it to the summer before you say something stupid. Nick, you gave you an answer and Chris was being an ass and I was going to ask you when you moved, how many bathrooms did you have? Now I have to.

Speaker: Now you're going to knock it down to half a motherfucking bathroom. Way to go. Why? Wait till she moves in. Yeah. Wait till she moves in. I got plenty. We got to hurt my side and her side on the bathroom. You got two seats. You got a fair one. You got a fair today for her.

Speaker: a fan. Yeah. Yeah. Get your stick. Why do I need a fan in the bathroom? Because he stinks. I was going to say because when he Oh yeah, he's got a fan. The the toilet, the shitter has its own door. Yeah, the shitter has its own door. Like the where the toilet and the bathroom are is like its own room and then outside of that area is the sink and everything. I'm impressed. I'm impressed. Like I moved up like the

Speaker: I moved up. I moved up like the Jeffersons. Move it all the way up. Let's go move over here. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Nicky, Nicky, walk on his back. Walk on his back. Yeah, walk on his back. You can draw a Jefferson on his back. Go to Jeff. Plus, we shower together and conserve water, so. Hey, hey, it's all about shaving water. Really? It's all about shaving on energy. What?

Speaker: No, I have to I have to wear those those blackout sunglasses so I can't see anything and she does the same.

Speaker: Nicki, that's where we draw the line. That's where we draw the line. That's where we draw the line. That's where we draw the line. That's where we draw the line. That's where we draw the line. That's where we draw the line. That's where we draw the line. That's where we draw the line. That's where we draw the line. That's where we draw the line. That's where we draw the line.

Speaker: We put a shower curtain between us in the shower. It's kind of like the non -smoking smoking area and the rest of it. There's a shower curtain in the bath, in the bathtub, between the two of us. So we can't, you know, we're in the same tub, in the same vicinity, sharing the same water, but we can't see anything. We've got a hole in the water. We've got a hole in the sea.

Speaker: don't do it. This is your side of the bathtub. This is my side. Don't you don't you cross into my side. I get the front with the temperature control. Oh Jesus. I thought I took hot showers.

Speaker: Oh yeah, women take hot showers. They take that steaming hot shit. Oh yeah. I've gotten yelled at because of how hot my showers are. But also, the temperature here, I put it on to melt your skin off when I moved in at the hot water tank. Put it on to equator in Saudi Arabia right now. Yeah. So even when you have it all the way on the cold side, it's still dumping out hot water. Oh, that's not good. Oh, that's not cool.

Speaker: Well, you got to go all you literally got to go all the way over to the cold side to get it cold. But like, for three quarters of the of the because it's the one the one handle and like three quarters of that is all hot water before you go to the outside. You don't want to be Singapore or some shit. Hey, Jeff, what letter is this a Singapore flag?

Speaker: No, that's one of the one things I'm looking at. I need to upgrade for this house. They have like this. It's like a five gallon water heater, but it's like Insta hot. Yeah. It's almost like a tankless water heater, which is a thankless job. But you can't take long showers in that shit. Wanna bet? Okay.

Speaker: Boy, let me tell you, if I turn on, cuz I don't leave my water heater. No, I don't leave my water heater on all the time. I don't leave the water heater. I don't turn on the water heater. Off work, must take a shower. See you later. I'm back for the podcast, guys. Just took a shower. Maybe I should take a shower. But I turn on the water heater 20 minutes before I take a shower.

Speaker: Just taking a shit, don't mind me guys. How you doing? Just Jeff over here taking a shit. I'm still on the podcast. Hey, I've done it. I've done it. Hey, I'm back. I know you have. You have no clue. You have no clue. I don't know. We all know you're taking a shit because you tell us. I will let us all mystery sit there like a motherfucker. I promise you. No, I don't even have to take my headphones off. That's why I kind of. I need you to mute the motherfuckers from now on or something. I don't. I mute the mic when I splash. I'm in the rain.

Speaker: Jeff. Just jealous of my glasses. February 1st, ladies and gentlemen. February 1st. What's February 1st? Wakanda Forever will be on Disney Plus. Nice. What do I ask? Guess who still won't watch it? It wasn't terrible. The cracker ass hunky. It wasn't terrible. Not today, Satan.

Speaker: I heard that movie is incredibly racist and insensitive. So I don't want to be. Yeah. No, no, no, Tony, I shoot you not literally. I went saw the theater and the next day I was watching the news and there was all this shit about how it's racist. And I was like, I was like, you got to be fucking kidding me. The bad guy, the bad guy come when you first meet him, he's Mexican and he's coming out of the water. So what's wrong with his back, Tony? It's wet.

Speaker: I can't you not. That is the that is literally what they said. Oh my god. I got it. I got it. I have never. It's it's supposedly I haven't seen the movie but supposedly it's also racist because there were white people in chains. I'm like.

Speaker: I've seen a million movies where I'm like, we were literally just watching an episode of True Blood. There's a blonde chick, a white dude, and a black guy all in chains in a basement. Oh yeah. You're on season two. Yeah. I am too. I was just watching. I just got to the place where, where law had to break off dude's leg. So it's just like,

Speaker: you know how many movies i've watched in my lifetime where people have been in chains and now all of a sudden i'm just learning that that's racist if you put somebody in chains on a movie well here's what's crazy jeff about what you said and i know blip don't care about the bridge i know i didn't say it tony i'm saying no it was

Speaker: You was talking about it. Everybody was talking about it. You were talking about, oh, it's racist to Mexicans, because this guy came up out the water when he first beat him, and his back is wet. And I was like, really? And what did they do to kill him, Tony? They turned on the jet engine and dried his ass off. No, she put him on the show. He let it dehydrate him.

Speaker: The water off his back. I'm missing the boat and I got that. I'm missing the boat. Like I said, that's fine. I never thought about that. And I'll admit it. I just thought this is a good movie. I didn't think he was that damn strong. But old boy went to hit me. He went like this. I'm just saying.

Speaker: I literally saw in a Mexican thing. I wouldn't look as good as you looking like. And then I turn on the news and everybody's like, it's racist. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it.

Speaker: No, that's what I said. What was wrong with those Victoria's Secret? We have Victoria's Secret. They're black and white. Black and gray and white. Black and gray and white. This one does. Honestly, Tony, I don't see the issue with it. And I don't think there's anybody on this planet that's going to question my manhood.

Speaker: You won't be able to receive a bunch of people. There's a reason why you're an ex -wife, Jeff. No, in all seriousness. The Victoria's Secret pants that I had on in any sweatpants I wear on a regular basis is the label. Because they were boyfriend sweats. Because I literally have three. She has my Aeropostale sweats on right now that look the exact same as those Victoria's Secret sweatpants.

Speaker: You can fit inside your Apostle clothes.

Speaker: back in the day, I could. That's what I'm about to say right now. You couldn't. Yeah, no, not now. No, because now now now Aeropostale and Abercrombie. It's a structure. You can't fit in the Aeropostale. Aeropostale and Abercrombie. Because now I can wear it back in the day. I could not wear Abercrombie clothes. I can barely wear jeans from JCPenney. I'm no use to Abercrombie and Fitch. Or but now I have several hoodies and t -shirts that are Abercrombie. Do you have a Nikki? Why?

Speaker: I don't need to see that shit. I ain't putting those on. Come on. No, they're too colorful. I need, like, black ladies. Put them on. I'll tell you what to do. You see what I'm doing, too. Yeah, on camera. Wait till the damn song plays. You gonna put them on and sit down and act like we don't know no better. You ain't fooling the fucking body.

Speaker: I mean, if they were black, I would, but these sons of bitches are... These sons of bitches are like colorful as fuck. If I put leggings on, would it make it look like I have an ass? Because I suffer from the disease, no ass at all.

Speaker: You know what? I should get those. I should get those tick tock. Yeah, the ones enhance your butt. There you go. The tick tock lady, John. There you go. Yeah, you don't need them. But yeah, you do. I know you do. My wife said that the other day. I should get those pants. I said, what the fuck for? You already got an ass, woman. Oh, no, no, no. Yeah, no. She should get them. Trust me. Really? I think they're good. Yeah, they're nice. I'll have all of them. Maybe you don't need them either. But they're nice.

Speaker: Vanass! Vanass! Good night. I think I hate you. You think you hate me? Yeah. Why? Because I won't put your flowery leggings on. There's another row. There's zebra prints too.

Speaker: Yeah they make they make leggings for guys. Yeah they do. Their workout pants. Yeah Christopher has them. Yeah trust me I've seen dudes at the gym wearing them like bro put a pair of shorts on over top of them. Right right yeah the last thing I need to see is

Speaker: You don't love me. I do love you. I do love you. You don't love me.

Speaker: like your dangle jangle your dangle jangles in everybody's face right now buddy don't look at it because when i lift weights it's also that's the same guy that comes up to you because you want to spot no don't worry about if i get hard because when i'm looking at his dangle jangle so i don't judge him nobody my blood flow increases when i lift weights it happens

Speaker: I honestly don't think I've ever gotten a fucking chubby when I'm lifting or I haven't either. I get amped, I get crunk and I get energetic. So, but blood flow goes everywhere. You get crunk. He gets amped, he gets crunk and he gets it hard.

Speaker: Oh, Tony D. Tony, you can't be walking around the gym with that fucking fire hose stiffer. You don't put somebody's fucking eye out. Somebody's fucking eye out, Tony. You're high out with that thing. I'll walk by somebody in the gym. Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry.

Speaker: Excuse me. Excuse me. Man with a large penis coming through. Black man coming through. Sorry. Is there a fire? I got amped. I got crunked and the blood flow. Excuse me. It's like this. It's over. It kind of contain. Where's the **** duct tape and strap that some **** to your leg. I'm moving in on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays.

Speaker: He's like, I won't be here Monday, Wednesdays and Saturdays. I'm just going to move in on Tuesday, Thursday. You can't be here on Tuesdays and Thursdays if you're not here the rest of the week. You can't partake in methane hookers if you're not here. I make methane in my own kitchen. You know what? It would save me a lot of money if you start making methane in our kitchen. Then all I got is where's the hookers? And it's Newark. That's only like five bucks. Well, it's not like we're having sex with the hookers. We're throwing a bunch of hookers. Yeah, so it's cheap.

Speaker: And we throw them out the window. It's not, it's not as fun anymore. Now that I live on the first floor, when I lived on the second floor, it was awesome. I got to feel like Michael Irvin. You have to worry about how much noise you make on the mattress. If you're upstairs, you've got to kind of be careful. I used to put the mattress on the floor to get off the box, so my neighbors would stop and play. My neighbors below me at the old apartment, they were so loud that when I was loud, it didn't matter. Good.

Speaker: So the screams of hookers didn't really ever faze them. They used to come up and partake sometimes.

Speaker: I was going to make my question. I was like, so you're going to make it drive back and forth for one day? Yeah. For three hours? Yeah. Three hours, three times a week. You're like, I'm going to go. Just do it. Nikki, you just got to do what my wife does. Every time it's podcast time, she's like, yeah, I'm going to go get my nails done. I can't get my nails done at six and a half. Why not?

Speaker: Make a special appointment for it. Come back, her nails down, her hair's down. What are you doing? She does. She goes on a podcast day. Or I should say Juan and Pedro get down on podcast day. My name is Juan Martínez Rodriguez. I just live here on the weekends and I'll still, I'll work at Crossroads Monday through Thursday. Yeah. How about now?

Speaker: And then I'll be here Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Yeah. How about now? Why? We're already doing that. And it sucks. Yeah. So I don't know if I can deal with you three, three times. I fucking love this movie. I don't care what nobody says. I'm just saying, I'm just saying. What movie? What movie? I have to deal with us. I go out there and you yell at me. When he had that first fight, when he had the fighter in Baku, I fucking love this shit. Yeah.

Speaker: What you need to do is convince Chris that you guys need to move down here, so on podcast night, you and my wife can go out to the bar, do whatever you guys want, and then Chris and I can do our shit.

Speaker: That's a hard no His girl hang with your wife. It's Chris. I'll make Nikki. I got a deal for you. This is the daily need make Chris. It's either three or four cows or you guys move to Cancun

Speaker: Go hang on. Dylan, what's going on, man? What's going on, random Rick? Easy way to get the cows. I'm just saying. Time to play the game. Two house cows and a goat, please. There you go. So, you make the deal. It's either a boot for Cancun or get two house cows and a goat. What the **** am I doing preparing a voodoo ritual? Maybe. We are watching True Blood. There you go. Yo, you know what happened to the voodoo

Speaker: Yeah, she didn't make it past season one. Let me tell you what. Nancy? Yeah, she didn't make it. Trina, I remember something. She's like, you know, you got to tell her. I don't want to move to Mexico.

Speaker: I don't want to move to Mexico either. I'm too big. I would, I would, I would become a... Have you seen me? I'm very, very white. You're five foot tall, you fit in. You're five foot tall?

Speaker: She was no she's big she's what she's saying is is that I blend Because of my height. I don't mind I become a fucking I become a fucking cryptic. I become the Bigfoot of Mexico. I become a Big Foot. Oh That's who I become in Mexico, it would be hilarious I Never lose you at all

Speaker: I just stand up when something goes, oh, there he is. 40 miles down the road, I can see him. Yeah, oh, yeah? Here's five. He's got the name of the ring. Namasita. El Bigfuto.

Speaker: Gather around, children. Please listen to the story of El Big Futo. No, I need to ask my wife what Bigfoot is in Spanish. That's what Google is for. I just told you what it was in Spanish. El Big Futo. Your Spanish, actual Spanish. El Big Futo was to be a female. The hard part is English and French. I speak amazing Spanish. Yeah. Yeah. Baja. Bye bye. Bye bye. Bye bye. Bye bye.

Speaker: I've seen the first one. I like that. I like that dude. I like oh big boy.

Speaker: I like that was my guy. I was like, hell yeah. You're that motherfucker of the crown. That should be fucking king of Wakanda. Yeah, but he came through in the end though. Hey, dude. Hey, Jeff, I'm sorry. That motherfucker was cool. He said... Fuck this shit. I'm here. He came through at the end now.

Speaker: He comes through on the second one too, in a big way. Yes, he did. Yes, he did. The third one, I think they're going to make a third one. They debate on how they're going to do it. I don't know if they're going to go with him, but they're going to go with who the original Black Panther is. Because they got that storyline out there too. Yeah, they do. The original Black Panther is dead. What are they going to do? CGI him? No, no, no. The original story slapped nuts. God damn. No reboot.

Speaker: I don't know. Slap Nuts, it's hilarious. She had to watch wrestling about 20 years ago. Couple of Jane Jeff Jared over here. That shit was one of the most classic phrases in wrestling ever. I will not let this shit die. Slap Nuts. Yeah, you should. Yeah, but I mean, there were some classic insults in the 90s and early 2000s. I mean, The Rock calling everybody jabronis. And asking me questions and then saying it doesn't matter what you think. Yeah.

Speaker: He did it awards recently. What's your name again? It doesn't matter. What do you think of the rocks? $500? Sure. It doesn't matter. We're still cold. When somebody would start talking. Yeah. Yeah. And then the one when the rock came out there and uh, Michael Cole was interviewing him. I'm going to tell it on my cold mother cold it down. I said, are you trying to look at the pieces?

Speaker: What? I don't know. Them **** wrestling fans are still doing that to this day. Stone Cold used to ask the question and when somebody'd answer, he'd go, what? Yeah. And the fan, they still do that **** today. This **** was classic. I had one beer. What? Two beers. What? Three beers. What?

Speaker: Gentlemen, I must make a confession. I am fucking playing catch up with Nikki right now as far as drinks go. She's about three ahead of me. One, two, three, four, and two in the garbage. I got six. She's four ahead of me. No, I'm two ahead of you. Do the fucking math.

Speaker: That's cause you're talking and she is. Wait, wait, Nikki, Nikki, Nikki. What, what, what? Is this your first time meeting Chris? Math, not strong suit. Oh no, I'm good at math. You got something for me. This is your first time doing a show with Chris? This is not true. It's not even one and a half. It's like one and a third. How many ounces are in a can?

Speaker: Oh my god, we're gonna this can right here. How many ounces is in this can? Glue. It's a 16? It's a 16. It's a pine. Glue. How hard are words? Words are fucking hard. I noticed. Look at the fucking title. What do we want? Don't worry about that. Wait, what is it? What do we want? We want. We do what we want. We do what we want.

Speaker: I asked you for a good title. Tony D. Tony D. In my defense, when I put that up there, I was also dealing with a 13 -year -old having a complete meltdown. It's an hour and a half. I will give you that, but it's an hour and a half later. Fix this shit.

Speaker: Oh, no, no, the show started late because I was buggy wanted to go hang out with her friend and then her friend's mom and her parents were being difficult and Then she didn't know she wanted to stay here. The other two left show off The other the other two went back to their moms and I was like you can stay it's fine You can hang out watch TV and

Speaker: I said, we're not doing anything tomorrow. We're just gonna be lazy. You're not gonna hurt your mom's feelings. You're not gonna hurt my feelings. Your mom already knew you were gonna spend the weekend here and not go over there. It's fine. She was.

Speaker: She was dealing with teenage angst. I get anxiety. So I had all that going on. And then the other two, and then their mom showed up and they were in the process of trying to leave. And I was trying to say goodbye and start to show. And so, yes, I made a mistake. Judge me if you will. Words are hard. We will. I think I can edit it though. Yeah, it looks like you can.

Speaker: There's an edit button there. We do want. What'd you say? Not two cheese, one two. There you go. I'll edit it. I'll fix it. Hey. I am a man. I am. I know when I made a mistake. Since when? What? Shut your mouth. You don't shoot two assholes encourage her and laugh at her.

Speaker: We were just having the discussion again that while you two were talking about whatever you two were talking about. We were just having a discussion that basically that she is the female version of me and I am the male version of her and that's why we are so perfect together. And I feel like that's serious shit. It's a serious shit right there. Oh, no, it is. It's scary. That's why the connection is real. Now, if I could just get her a beer count.

Speaker: I will. I'm liking Nikki more and more every day.

Speaker: What's that? Oh, I'm going to catch up and wait. I'm going to pass the fuck out of her. Oh, bet. I'm going to get her drunk and do things that are illegal in 45 of the 51 states. 51 states? How many states are there, Christopher? 51, isn't there? It's 50, you dumb son of a bitch. Even I know that. Come on.

Speaker: Puerto Rico. We own them. They are a territory. They are not a state. But there are talks of making them a state. They've been talking about making them a state back since 1992. Oh, I don't know how it works. I don't know how it works. I like that one. I'll drink it. No. OK. Oh, I've been told. She said no. Yeah.

Speaker: Okay. First and foremost, Tony, she's not me. She's drinking smeared up ice. Spritchers or whatever the **** it is. What flavor? Blue raspberry lemonade, peach lemonade, pineapple lemonade, a pink lemonade. I need you to find Bartles and James Pino Colada.

Speaker: I think those went out in the 80s. I need you to develop a time machine and go back in time to 1993. I'm pretty sure there's pictures of my mom drinking that when she was pregnant with me.

Speaker: Four years ago. Well, that explains a lot. Four years ago. My mom. She walked into that one. Yeah, you ran the rip. Tell me that Pina Colada wasn't the shit. All right, let's take a real quick break. You cut me off because I want to talk my liquor. You've been sitting here delaying shit all your fucking week, and now you want to do it. Don't blame me for that bullshit. Bartles and James or Seabroos, Pina Colada, can anybody fight to go? Fuck y 'all think this is. Go ahead and go to break up some. Yeah, let me get my fucks to pass around.

Speaker: Tony, you just scolded the fuck out of me. I wasn't going to cut you off. I'll take those for the night. I just don't want to have the hard lick. I just want to chill out. Tony, some M .D. 2020. No. Yes, sexual whore mouth. No. Tony likes the purple M .D. 2020.

Speaker: and it never get to that strawberry too. So, he throws up red, thinks he's peeking blood.

Speaker: There you go. How many times have we all been there after drinking that? Yeah, we've been there. Thank you. I'm dying. 2020. Start throwing. Oh, god. I'm throwing up blood, everybody. Take me to the hospital. No man don't 2020. Relax. No more Cisco. No more wild Irish rules. No more Thunderbird. No. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more. No more

Speaker: She was a she was a she was a girl in the 90s at parties. That's how you do. There was girls coming to the bar. You had to pick up booms for because you know, that's all I thought. I was holding the board. You miss this **** or or if you wasn't planning on it but you wanted girls to come and you were talking to me like, hey, how booms for? I'll be there. I'll be there. Damn right. She'll be there. Whore. Give us a

Speaker: The girls I went to school with was Horst.

Speaker: Agreed. You changed it a little bit. You changed it a little bit two months ago. Yeah. You're not a whore. You're not a whore, no. I've never seen so much backpedaling in my life. Go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go

Speaker: Jesus. You said they should fall, but neither could the pilot and Kobe's a helicopter. Mountain. Mountain ahead. I got this, Kobe. Don't worry. Fucking captain of the Titanic either. I'm just saying, if Chris was the captain of the Titanic, they would have made it.

Speaker: I'm so mad at that bitch. There was plenty of room on that door whenever she was floating on Jack, Jack or Jake or Joe or whatever his name was in that movie could have survived. I don't even know. I don't even watch that movie. I just I've just seen that. I've never seen it. I've never seen it. I'll just break it up. We are. I agree. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Speaker: Whoa, whoa. I made my quota. I made it. I knew it. I knew it. It wasn't going to let me do it. You just can't stop me. You've never seen the Waterboy, Jeff. You've never seen Titanic. She also says that Nihart is not a Christmas movie. It's not. Who said that? Strike one on you, woman. Kick her the fuck out. Kick her the fuck out. She's never seen Waterboy. And she's never seen this movie. I know how many times they've changed. Get the fuck out, nigga. Back into my favor.

Speaker: They were Team Nikki a second ago. Oh, they'll be Team Nikki by the end of the picture. I bring the boys back. My milkshake makes all the boys do whatever. It works, our heart. Shut up and get in my yard. Enjoy my milkshake. Wait, wait, wait, wait. How is it possible that she's our age and never seen blood? I'm utterly disappointed. Oh, speaking of die hard, violent night.

Speaker: is a combination of Die Hard, The Santa Claus, and Home Alone. Put them all in one movie, and we got out of the night. It's on Peacock, I saw that night. It's on Peacock, I saw that night. It's on Peacock. What? It's on Peacock, I saw that the day. Yeah, I didn't know it was on Peacock. The girls were like, we started watching it the other night. Die Hard is definitely a Christmas movie. No, it's not. The movie happened. He's at a Christmas party.

Speaker: When did the movie happen? That doesn't make it a Christmas movie. It was literally the first song when he's in a limo. Tony was the name of the song. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. And he's, when, when, when old boy plays a song in a limo and he says, don't you go to any Christmas music? It's Christmas in the Hollies.

Speaker: Yeah. Run DMC, Christmas in Hollis. Run DMC. Christmas in Hollis, not the Hollis. No, it's not. No, it's not. It's a Christmas movie. I'm going to get most of the Christmas movies. I'll say, place goes where you power up. Fuck you, Tony. What the hell, Tony? Gotta fuck you. Wow. Yes.

Speaker: I need to get in the hollies in the hollies. Yeah. Words are hard. I didn't say it. I didn't. I could read list. It's Christmas time in the hollies, please. In the hollies, please. Peace out, man. We here run DMC with Christmas time in the hollies.

Speaker: And then can you follow that up with Woot Woot, that is the sound of the police. This motherfucker. I'm going to give Tony a goddamn complex. This motherfucker read the lyrics with karaoke. It is the sound of the beast. You can't stand where I stand. You can't talk where I talk. Watch out. We run New York. You sound like you're going to become a bachelor on medication.

Speaker: I mean, you guys are gonna give Jeff tequila. I should be given my fantastic cover. I sung tequila. I did a cover of that. It's a spoken word. I had the best karaoke on Nonsense Good Nonsense podcast. Fuck all this shit. You know, Tony Deed, had it not been for Connor, I would say yes. I gotta give Connor his props. Yeah, I mean, Connor killed that shit.

Speaker: Didn't think he was gonna I didn't think he was actually gonna do that. I thought he was gonna do karaoke, which would have been awesome, too Just pulled out a guitar and started singing. Yeah, I gotta give us props. This shit was awesome. Yes. It was awesome Are we taking a break or we just fuck it it's Saturday I just I'm sure we both a bonus show. I know this for effect. You don't like how I act. I

Speaker: that's the sound of the police. That's the sound of the beast. God, that was horrible. So, so you so you don't want to hear me do. He's about to have a

Speaker: Sounds like we're gonna go long the night anyways. Yeah, we are I'm not Nikki I got

Speaker: Hey, Mickey, this is for you. Wow. You got the double bird Wakanda. Double bird Wakanda. The fuck you forever. Nice. Nice. What the hell are you running on? Nobody's running the college. Emotional, damn it.

Speaker: Oh, fuck it. It's Saturday night. Let's have fun. Let's take a real quick break. We'll all block top mojo. Tony D. That's one of your favorites, buddy.

Speaker: Why are you looking at me like that? Every time I tell you that this is one of your favorites. And then we come back from breaking. And then we come back from breaking. No, I like that. Because he's waiting for the setup. He thinks it's a setup. It's your playtime of your life.

Speaker: No, this is actually, this is one of Tony's songs. Tony likes his songs. Black Top Mojo. Tony likes it. We'll be back here in just a few minutes. I'm going to take a piss, drink some more beer, and we'll be back. And when we come back...

Speaker: When we come back, I do have a question to ask you gentlemen about being single and going to the bars and meeting women. I haven't been in the bars in forever. First things first. First, I'm gonna answer that right now. They need all their teeth. Let's go.

Speaker: I'm from Ohio. You forget where Tony lives. Well, Tony, I would recommend that you leave the South, Georgia, Alabama. It ain't just the South. Just around the damn world. Once you get past West Virginia and Kentucky, women will have all their teeth. Not everywhere they don't. Jeff Timberlake. The what? Not everywhere they don't. A lot of places women don't have all their teeth. Well, how you doing? They're missing three here, four here, 16 here. No, I'm good.

Speaker: Hey, they got the best mess though. You got the best mess. Could you imagine getting a gum job though, Tony? I've heard. I've heard. I'm going to be an asshole. Those are the ones you bend over and get it over with.

Speaker: It's called a double bagger tone. First and foremost. If you are an appointment in your life where you're like, oh, well, fuck it. I'm just going to bend your over and just get it done. You know? That's when you're drinking like Chris. For Tony to drink like Chris, Tony's had a bad day. I've never looked at a woman going, oh, fuck it. She's been nervous. Your goggles have never caught me.

Speaker: Yeah, those are never. I'm pretty sure why I'm pretty sure calm down there. Easy maestro. We also know the professor. You don't necessarily want it from that woman, even though it just might feel like good.

Speaker: I still have marks on my hand. I'm probably gonna be scarred for the rest of my life. You are. Probably. Bitch cheated in the thumb wrestling and ripped my hand open.

Speaker: I don't know why you guys can see that. Yeah. Yeah. That was like from two weeks ago. I didn't see it. How do you cheat? I'm saying thumb rest. Was she bit you? No. She dug her fucking claws into my hand. Why? And then she stood up and she was like, hmm. Why does she do that? Because she was about, I don't know, 14 and a half beers or hours deep on alcohol. And the bar kept serving her.

Speaker: 14 and a half hours and they kept serving her. They were there for... It's Ohio. No, it was Pennsylvania. Oh, well, there you go. They were at the bar for a good six, seven hours before we got there. Jesus. Five. They were there for five hours. That's still the answer, man. I worked in a bar. I wouldn't be there for five hours. I mean, if you're watching the game and eating during the process, I'd give you that. But if you did this street drinking, that's a little too much. No, they were just straight drinking. Pass. I like my boyfriend how I like my food.

Speaker: ABC. **** you. Alright, let's take a real quick break. God damn it. I got a piss like a mother **** go back here in a few minutes. Enjoy a little black top. Joe, Tony, this one's for you, buddy. I know you like this one and I'm not setting you up for anything.

Speaker: Anyone? What's the price for being alone? Which pain do you owe? Did you start when you were told?

Speaker: Do you do it for the love? Do it for the money? Before I die young and the rich get lucky Cash is king and I'm a tester honey Do you do it for the love? Are you doing for the money?

Speaker: Your blood on the nose Oh, he went and cleaned you out What will you pay with? What will you pay with? What will you pay with now? Do you do it for the love?

Speaker: Find the love, all you do is find the money

Speaker: I'ma love how you do it, I'ma money

Speaker: that one. You brought yourself three and you only brought me one. And so, yeah, move in if you want to. Just because you're a lightweight and trying to catch up is not my fault. I'm starting to reconsider. Oh, yeah. You better revisit your old apartment. Keep ****ing around.

Speaker: I was actually trying to check my buggy while we were on break. Uh that's why I wanted to go to break. Well, speak of going to break. What about nonsensical nonsense everybody? Uh hopefully you're enjoying our **** show so far. If you're not already, go ahead and check us out on social media, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Tiktok. Join us live Monday, Wednesdays, and Saturdays on

Speaker: and you can always listen to us anytime any place on Spotify and everyone else in the podcast. All right, nonsensical nonsense podcast. Miss Paula, give us a like, give us a share. Fucking cheater. What? You heard me. I didn't. What'd you say? I didn't hear you. Would you say I didn't hear you? She said, you cheater. Cheater. What did I cheat?

Speaker: You brought me one drink and brought yourself three just because you're trying to catch up. Oh my god. I brought you two drinks. No, you did not. Yes, I did. No, you did not because you know that's the one I don't like.

Speaker: Yeah, but you were drinking the raspberry one anyways. I'm taking it, so fuck off. So I brought you a... You brought me a that and a that, and I don't drink that, and then you stole that. No, I didn't. I brought a peach one and that, and then I brought this and one beer. And you had that over there, so that's three for you and one for me. I brought both of us two beers. And then you said, I want one beer. Okay. It's a timer. So Jeff, how about that fast and furious?

Speaker: I'm I'm gonna get I'm gonna get a video clip of a countdown timer. Yeah. Fuck you, Jeff. Anyways, I'm gonna ask you guys a question about going to bars. I'm eating women and getting their phone numbers. Well, okay. What? You okay? This **** is expensive on eBay. This is ridiculous. Yeah, what? You're still on the

Speaker: I'm not supposed to squirt lotion there. I'm going to get me a ball. I wanted to make sure you're okay. because you literally been in there since they left. so like we've all been there at some

Speaker: Tony's like god damn if this two months doesn't end

Speaker: Look who learned to use buttons. Finally, I give the guy admin powers a year ago and he finally found the buttons. No, but what I was going to say is like, you know, as guys, we've all been there at least probably once in some point in our life.

Speaker: Jesus. Hey Nikki, can you hear me? Oh yeah, I can hear you.

Speaker: where you go out to the bar and you're saying, when you go out, you're like, Oh, you know, we're going to go out and meet some chicks tonight. Yeah. Maybe get some phone numbers, you know, whatever. I don't, I've never gotten a phone number in a bar. The difference is here, it's all one night stands because everybody told you about last week. Yeah. I told you about this last week when I was, hold on a second, you understand a minute. Okay.

Speaker: uh but you can never explain this no because the way it works down here is you got to remember every week it's a new group of people so you don't worry about phone numbers you worry about one night stands they get robbed i have one night stand i keep my alarm clock on it my watches and

Speaker: Am I? No, no, but in all seriousness. Is this like the wallflower song, one headlight? No, no, no, no, but it's like, you know, you go to the bar here as a single guy living here and you literally find a chick that you can take home that night and kind of do your deed and then she leaves next week. I don't know. So you don't really worry about phone numbers because of the simple fact, you're probably never going to see him again.

Speaker: Yeah, but if it's like, but you know, if you meet a chick at a bar and it's Friday and they're there for a week, she, you might get her cell phone number so you can. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I see what you're saying. Yeah. Kind of thing. Yeah, exactly. Okay. Apparently Jeff's the exception to, but how did he, you, I'm sure you've been there when you were younger, especially like maybe in college and stuff, right?

Speaker: go bar me to check, get her phone number. Yeah. When I worked as a bouncer, girls used to come up all time and be like, Hey, you know, here's our number.

Speaker: You're drunk. I'm sober. I know how this goes. But any who, I hit no help from these guys when I'm trying to lead in. That was, that was, that was, it was like no help. We heard you.

Speaker: We heard you. We just didn't find it funny. I'm looking for that. No, I'm trying to lead into us. I'm trying to segue into a store and I get no help from you guys because I'm going to 500 chicks a night when I was down here before I got married because I've been around the world 45 times. Tony's like, I can't say shit because if I say shit, I'm going to get called out on Twitter and I'm going to have to explain myself for something I did 30 years ago.

Speaker: Jesus Christ. I had a news story. I had a news story about a guy who met a chick at the bar, right? Okay. Got to hit it off. They had a good time. They had some drinks. And before she left, she wrote on a napkin. Call me. She put her area code. You know, phone numbers are 10 digits. Got your area code, your first three.

Speaker: You okay? Yeah, I'm peeing and sneezing. Oh, peeing and sneezing, sneezing. We'll be sitting down. Me too. Yeah, right? Honestly, she's standing up. Otherwise, her bathroom is a mess. She's standing up. Her bathroom is a mess right now. She's like a fucking sprinkler in the middle of summer.

Speaker: That's what it sounds like too, Tony. Oh, we got it.

Speaker: I would have still heard you sneezing. I just want to make sure. I might not hurt my vomit. That's what I did. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I did.

Speaker: I tried to warn you. Nobody is exempt from catching a verbal beat down. That's what Jeff says when he goes to look for a new girlfriend at the daycare. Wow.

Speaker: I fucking hate you both.

Speaker: Oh my god. Chris says when he plays with his penis. Dude, I fucking like her. I like her. I ain't gonna lie. I like her. She's sweet. She engages. She engages in the conversation. Oh my god. That's what I like. Yeah. You cannot make a small penis joke when I'm the guy who makes fun of my own small pecker and has a t -shirt that literally says TPG on it. I can do it. Lies.

Speaker: Hashtag lies. Hashtag lies. No, I know you have the t -shirt. I'm talking about two different points. She was talking about my t -shirt. I'm like, I got a shirt. Let me show you. He's literally talking about your dick. He's lying about your dick being bigger than what you say. I'm going to need you to shut the fuck up and like, OK. What?

Speaker: He just told you to shut the fuck up. Why do I gotta shut the fuck up? Because I got a small penis? You were talking about you got a small dick. She called it a lie. This is not the first time she said she lied about you had a small dick. Do me a favor and shut the fuck up. Smallest dick in the room, shut the fuck up. OK. I ain't got nothing to throw at you. I'm about to get a beer bottle thrown at me. I'm about to get a beer bottle thrown at me. What's up, Chris thing, Nick? Honestly, Nikki, you do have something to throw at him. I'm just glad you haven't found it yet.

Speaker: Welcome to Nonsense. Welcome to Nonsense. Go get the rolling pin. Go get the rolling pin. I'm just saying. I can see who got the pretty mouth. So what's the story about this guy? I'm actually curious.

Speaker: So, I don't even know what the hell I did though. Yeah. So, this guy went, this guy went to the bar, right? If it is Gromet, they, you know, they kind of hit it off. They were chit -chatting it up or whatever. Right. At the end of the night, she writes her number down on the napkin. So, just call me. So, you got the area code? Three numbers, 911. No, she got the area code. 867 -5309.

Speaker: I'm actually going to go ahead and put this out there. **** it because it's all over the it's all over the internet. It's all over Twitter. Yeah, go ahead. Uh she said call me five one two three asterix one two asterix zero four Jackie with a heart for the

Speaker: What would you do if a girl did that, that you were met in a bar and hanging out with? And she did that to you. I mean, because basically you've got a, it's a one in 10 shot of getting the number right. Right. I'm funny. Well, yeah. Well, yeah. I wanted, yeah. I wanted 20, 20, 20. You call him the moon of Mars. I was going to say what he called Canada. Jesus.

Speaker: No, the point is she left, she left numbers blank. She left two numbers with asterisks. So you got the first three. She, she gave you two of the first three and left one blank and then three of the last four and left one blank. It's only going to be one through zero. So you basically have to call 20 different numbers to actually find her right number. And it's probably going to be more than that because I mean, if you do, if you did like three, one, one,

Speaker: 3, 4, 1, 2, 3. Yeah, the 40 numbers. You're right. It's 100. It's 1 in 100. 1 in 100. OK, so 1 in 100 shot. What I do is keep holding it for her, and when she shows up again, I slap the taste out of her mouth the next time I see it. I agree, because, well, I'm sorry. She's not going to get a phone call from me, because I'm not putting that much effort into it. No, if it was me, and all right, well, we can't even ask a female's point of view, because, Nicky, you're here. If a guy did that to you, what would you do?

Speaker: She wouldn't call. But it would depend on how the night was. Are you really going to try? OK, let's say Nikki, I'll play devil's advocate here. Let's say, amazing, amazing night versus shooting night. Oh, you're only at the bar. You've only had a couple drinks together. It's a two -hour conversation. It was amazing. You met at the bar, thought you guys went out on a date or anything like that. You didn't meet off Tinder. I'd give it a half -assed shot.

Speaker: Not me. Not me. I probably look at it and if she's still within the vicinity, I'm going to crumple up and try to hit her in the head with it. That's because you're not an asshole. I am an asshole and it's a huge waste of my fucking life. No, no, no. Exactly. It's basically, it's gameplay. I got better things to do than play your stupid fucking game. If this is the game we're going to play when I first meet you, that you're going to give me... Imagine how it's going to be 20 years down the road. Yeah, if you're not going to give me your full number. That's the one that ghosted me for 10 months.

Speaker: Well, she got you there. She got you there. Just fucking go. Yeah, I'm sorry, Chris. Emotional, damn it! You did come back, though. I just happened to pop into your lot. That, you know what, uh, Nikki, I, I blame you. I just happened to pop into your bitch. I blame you.

Speaker: Jeff says, I believe you. That's on you. No, but I mean, I don't want to see. No, but yeah, if you're going to play games like that and we just met. Yeah. What if we supposedly had an event? Yeah. Imagine if, God forbid, I forget our anniversary. Yeah, I know. I mean, that would be my biggest concern is, like, these are the games we're playing and we just met. What's going to happen down the road? Like, what other games are you going to... What other dumbass games are you going to play with?

Speaker: Well, okay, but but okay devil's advocate here if you look at the girls point of view How many guys hit on her that night? Well in the story it sounds like it sounds like her and this dude Let's say if she goes to the bar three times a night, how many guys hit on her? Well, yeah She's weeding out the the wheat from the chest

Speaker: but not, but, but here's the thing. It doesn't sound like this was like, if, if, if, if this is what you do to like, if, if, as a woman or a man, I agree with, I agree already and you go to the bar and you're, and you're getting hit on by you, you get 20 dudes or 20 women that ask for your phone number and that's what you do. Cool. I get it.

Speaker: But if you go to a bar and you meet a guy, or you meet a girl, and you're hanging out for three or four hours, and everything's calm, cool, you're having fun, and he's like, hey, let me get your number, let's take this outside of the bar, let's go have dinner, let's go get a cup of coffee, you know, whatever, and then you do that.

Speaker: First and foremost, I'm going to be like, really? Second of all, I'm going to be like, I just wasted four hours of my night with your with your dumb ass. And second of all, this is a game you're going to play when we're now. Again, I go back to what I said. What games are you going to play later on down the road? One hundred percent. You know, no, I agree. I think it's kind of a dick move on her part. Oh, 100 percent.

Speaker: And of course the internet is like, oh my God, this is what romantic, this is the rom -com, and this is what a lifetime movie is all about. You found your one and two row. No it's not, that's an asshole. You found some crazy bitch that wants to play some games. Yeah, it's a dick movie. It's probably gonna stab you in your sleep because she dreamt that you had sex with a mailman. Right? Right, yeah, she's the kind of chick that wakes up and says, I'm mad at you. Hello, fatal attraction call. And your bunnies that are in a pot.

Speaker: Yeah, it puts the lotion on the skin, you know, no, no, I say fuck up.

Speaker: Fuck you, you're crazy, bitch. Yeah. And if you're doing it, you do that, you're fucking crazy, too. Yeah. And you and that crazy chick should be together. I mean, I get it. I get it. If it's like, if he's an asshole, like if I'm sitting across from Chris all night, I'm like, yeah, I'm giving him this fucking bullshit number. Yeah, exactly. But if we actually had a connection, I'm going to make sure my number's 100 % correct. Yeah.

Speaker: I'm going to call it as soon as you give it to me. Yeah. Yeah. Just make sure. Hey, now you have my number. So now the balls are that to make sure. Tony from fucking Zimbabwe doesn't answer the phone.

Speaker: Yeah. You know how you get to show our marketers and it's like, hello. My name is Joe. Okay. First of all, your name's not Joe. All right. I'm sure your name has 473, 73 letters and not one of them is a vowel. So yeah. Yeah. That's I, I, I 100 % say that's a dick move. That's it. It's, it's, and the people encouraging it on the internet.

Speaker: People encouraging things like that on the internet your assholes too because you know if if Okay, no, maybe maybe she did it because he thought everything went great But she was like yeah, this guy's an idiot, but I just can't get rid of him. Maybe he's following around the bar. I Mean, yeah, I mean very well, but yeah, but but again at the same time why why would anybody? If you're saying going here young

Speaker: or you don't have to be young, but if you're single and you're in a bar, why would you waste a whole night with somebody? I mean, like myself personally, and I can't imagine, Nikki, I can't imagine, if you're in a bar and you're talking to some dude and he's a fucking tool, you're going to spend the whole night hanging out with him. Well, I'm not going to spend the night.

Speaker: I mean, that's for various other reasons. Let's call it a spade a spade. No, I see what you mean. So so basically, you know, you know, there but there is that there is the you know, because I'm assuming this is the guy telling the story in the story that you read it. It's not coming from her end.

Speaker: Yeah, I think, yeah, I mean, the first sentence in this news story, a woman named Jackie pulled a move straight out of a romantic comedy. No, it's not a romantic comedy. No, it's no, that is a, you know what that is? That's a giant red flag kicking you in the dick. 100%, 100%.

Speaker: because because now if you're if you're a woman playing devil's advocate maybe he was just kind of if she moved to one table he sat right next to her and then you know she can't follow her on the bar maybe she needed to get rid of it we don't know because we don't have but he didn't he didn't post the picture on twitter his one of his buddies did yeah that's something we would do

Speaker: Yeah. But no, I mean, like I said, you're not.

Speaker: If it's me and Nicki, a female point of view or a perspective, if it's you, Tony, we're not going to waste an entire night talking to somebody who's just fucking annoying the piss out of us. I'm here, Nicki. I feel like she's close. I mean, Tony might, because Tony don't want to hurt nobody's feelings. And that's nothing against Tony. No, I get it. Maybe he's kind of a dumbass. And maybe she did that as opposed to giving him a wrong number. She's like, oh, I'll play it cute.

Speaker: But if she actually really did have a true connection. Maybe she's just a psychopath. Yeah. This is true. I'm going to go with her. She's a psychopath. Oh, no. It's a giant red flag. Because at the end of the day, she plays this game with everybody, and she thinks it's cute. Right. She probably thinks she's an Instagram influencer, too. Yeah, exactly. I agree with Blick. If you're playing this game now, what you going to do down the line? I agree with that. Exactly. Look at that. Tony agreed with me, so you know I'm fucking right.

Speaker: Tony, don't ever agree with me. If Tony's in agreement with me, you know I'm right. And that's the other thing.

Speaker: Yeah, exactly. If I'm actually looking for an actual connection, now it's one thing, just pick somebody up for one nighter and be like, hey, let's knock this out and call it a day. Yeah. That's different. You don't want to give your number afterwards. I don't get it. I don't care. But tell it from a joker. This is what it is. Yeah. But if you're playing games like this,

Speaker: The games are literally going to get worse for the guy. That's a bad sign. Very early, I agree. Yeah. Now look for our red flag. You can find some of yours, too. Right now. Can I help? Thanks again. I've only got one left. You got two of them. That one's almost empty. Raspberry? Yeah. Well, you gave it to me. Yeah, I'm just saying. That's a fucker. Fuck that bitch.

Speaker: I said you need to go back to the bar with with the you know, a fucking bombshell so that when Jackie shows up, she's like, oh, I fucked up. Or she's not going to say or think anything because she's a cunt because she's a psychopath. Yeah. I mean, I would have to go that far and call her that right now. I will. I will. No, that's a cunt move. That's a cunt move. We're going to call her psychopath. Same difference. She's type of bitch is going to put your bunny rabbit in the fucking pot in a pot and stew it.

Speaker: Jesus. Or she's the kind of person that lets you buy a cow and then cooks it up and eats it. She's the kind of person that lets you buy a little cow so she can cook it up and eat it. I'm going to eat that cow. I rest my case.

Speaker: This is hilarious. We can't make this shit up, ladies and gentlemen. Shut up, Tony. I walked him right into that argument. I said, here's Chris. Grandpa Ed, we're going to go this way. And he said, okay. He walked right into it and said, oh, we need that fucking cow. You're all fired. Oh, my God. Reaching that top door and telling me if I'm fired or not.

Speaker: You know, I thought you were gonna actually talk about what would your pickup line be?

Speaker: No, I know I see the news article when I was like, all right, you know, we can all kind of relate to that. All right, Jeff, let's go down the Jeff wormhole. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

Speaker: I mean, I don't like to play games like that. If I'm meeting somebody at the bar, you're getting 100 % me. I'm not going to play games. If I meet somebody at the bar or whatever, it's literally, look, this is what I'm going to take. Jeff, I've known you for 25 years and I know you're so full of shit. What are you talking about? I've seen you use pickup lines on the Cosmo Sluts.

Speaker: And they worked because they were Cosmo Sluts. So there is nothing? But they were Cosmo Sluts. It was like shooting fish in a barrel. You had to challenge yourself. There is nothing that makes me believe that you did not use pickup lines in a bar. In a bar? No.

Speaker: Nothing. Nothing about you. Nothing about our friendship. There's a difference. This is going to make me believe that. There's a difference between challenging yourself with a cosmo fix, because it was literally like shooting fish in a barrel, than being in a bar by yourself. Because despite how I am when I'm around you guys or when we hang out, I'm actually a shy person when it comes to meeting new people. Oh my God, this moment. I swear to God, because I'm self -conscious.

Speaker: So, you know, if I'm around the boys, you gotta be, you gotta hype yourself up. No, I'm not even gonna give you the video for that. I'm not gonna do it. No, you're not. I'm coming to bed, nothing but my belt tonight.

Speaker: I don't care but I'm not going out in public with him. What you're saying is that you don't love him. That's what I heard. Well, he doesn't love me because I can't have a

Speaker: I agree. I agree. You cannot have a house cow. I have the perfect compromise. Wait, wait, wait, wait. I have the perfect compromise. Chris, get our cow. Nikki, get him the crooks. Everybody's happy. We cannot have a cow. I'm like, who's a marriage counselor? I don't care. We cannot have a house cow here. Why not? She'll allow you to have a coops. It's like a pot belly cray, Chris. She will allow you to have coops. That is horrifying. You cannot have a cow here. Well, I can't talk.

Speaker: because it's in the community guidelines. You're so full of shit. The HOA won't let you. Call the HOA. You don't even have a house cow. When? When, when, when we hit the lottery. I can have a house cow with a stable growth city. You can't even own a, how about I buy you a fucking hedgehog or whatever it is you can't. It's not a damn cow.

Speaker: I can have a house cow in Grove City. Yeah, have a hedgehog in Pennsylvania, though. I can't. You're right. Again, more dumb Pennsylvania laws. You cannot own a hedgehog in Pennsylvania. Why not? I don't know. I don't know, Tony D. Why can I only buy 97 ounces of alcohol at a time? 100 ounces of alcohol at a time. And you're sold without all the seduce of most of your drugs. That's why.

Speaker: No, that's one of those stupid laws. There's a whole list of all these stupid laws that are still on the books. Every day of state. Yeah, and some of them are really weird. Some states you cannot have sex without one foot on the ground. Come in. What? I said, I'll stay in Grove City, and I'm a housekeeper. She told you. A, B, C, fuck you. No, I read one the other day that if you get

Speaker: You can only get one ticket. I want a house cow and I want it now. Hey, Veruca Salt, calm down. Thank you, Jeff. I fucking love you. Veruca Salt.

Speaker: There's a full -on vertical salt line. I wonder how. I didn't think anybody else was going to get that. If you're an ugly idiot. You might be my hero right now. My name is definitely not your hero, are you?

Speaker: no but there's always weird laws on the books like there's literally a law I can't remember which state that if you well South Carolina on Sundays you cannot walk down the sidewalk backwards and eat donuts because apparently apparently that's a problem in South Carolina in Britain in Britain you cannot hold a suspicious fish in front of Parliament a suspicious fish

Speaker: I don't know. I've got that joke. What is a suspicious fish? That was my question. What did you say? A vinicious... A vinicious... A vinicious... A vinicious... A vinicious... A vinicious... A vinicious... A vinicious... A vinicious... A vinicious... A vinicious... A vinicious... A vinicious... A vinicious... Is the animal that used to hunt the Oompa Loompas in Oompa Loompa Land.

Speaker: I never watched that movie. Oh yeah, well we didn't learn about that until that weird Johnny Depp movie though. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

Speaker: in the Johnny Depp version, they do a flashback to him going. They do a flashback in the Johnny Depp version where they flash back to Johnny Depp's character finding the Oompa Loompas. In the original Gene Wilder version, the teacher,

Speaker: is a geography teacher. Tony, your timeline is up. You win. Thank you. I wasn't even trying. It's not that hard of a fit. She hasn't even seen Parsi Blues. Who hasn't? You. You! No, I've seen that movie a hundred times. There was something else you haven't seen. You're forgiven. I don't know how it was like. You've seen Top Gun. Yes.

Speaker: I have not. I haven't had the chance. So good. We can watch it tomorrow. Okay. It's a good film. Goddamn. That goddamn, oh. Him and Rooster gives me the chills every time. What's a snowsberry? Snowsberry? Did you really just supertrooper? The snowsberries taste like snowsberries. Fuck supertroopers. What's a snowsberry? If you're still talking about Willy Wonka, I don't know.

Speaker: Oh, fuck, Jeff. He's fired. I don't know if you're talking about Willy Wonka, but I do know the supertroopers when he's like, the Snazzberries taste like Snazzberries. That's not supertroopers. Actually, it isn't supertroopers. It isn't supertroopers. They are making a reference to the Willy Wonka movie. Oh, OK. Well, I didn't know that. I quit. But that's not supertroopers. I quit.

Speaker: You gotta see the clip once you see the clip chicken fucker

Speaker: The other guys with looking over their rooftop, count down as meows. And he's like, meow. Do I look like a kitten cat? Look, boy. Now, do I look like I'm drinking milk from a saucer? What's so funny? What's so funny in my way? Oh, nimbly bimbly. Oh, nimbly bimbly. Oh, my God.

Speaker: Why do you instantly turn into like the most stereotypical racist black guy just because you're doing a black character? Like he didn't sound like that. I wasn't doing a black character. He's not black.

Speaker: It's the two white guys. It's the dude from Tacoma FD and the white guy. I thought it was. I thought it was. No, it's not rap. It's not rap. It's not Ramathorn. No, Ramathorn drinks the. Ramathorn. Ramathorn drinks the syrup faster than anybody else. What the fuck are y 'all talking about? Super Troopers is a fucking amazing movie. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me.

Speaker: The best is Farva getting one of his free hot dogs, Porter's Gasly. Those are things like 50 cent sword sleep. No, the best part was I'm going to get you a liter of cola. Yes. Can I get a liter of cola? A cheeseburger and it's for a cop. What does that mean? I mean, he's going to spit on it. He's opening up and he's like, does that look like spit? He's like spit.

Speaker: Talk about Super Troopers. That movie is awesome. Super Troopers is an amazing movie. There was something that I was shocked at. By far their best. I liked Beerfest. I thought Beerfest was funny. Club Dread was OK. There's no earthly way of knowing which direction they were in. Is that Willy Wonka again?

Speaker: in that entire movie. Because he's just straight faced singing this weird goofy song. That fucking boat scene freaked me out. 100%. That news just got a shot of me when I was a kid. Because he's just like, there's no earthly way of knowing.

Speaker: which way the rowers are rowing and you're like, what the fuck? Is it raining? Is it snowing? Basically worried about the chocolate pantry. Both versions made me realize. Not a speck of light is showing. Why? I never wanted to do acid or LSD. Oh, 100%.

Speaker: Especially Johnny Depp. I have an issue with the Johnny Depp version because it goes too much into backstory and all this shit. I love the Gene Wilder. I was just going to say that, but I was trying to bite my tongue in case I got crucified again by you.

Speaker: No, no, no. That was so bad. Yeah, him as the Mad Hatter? Yeah, I didn't like it. So bad. You know, I love Johnny Depp. I mean, I didn't like the Lone Ranger movie. Which is why I have the Johnny Depp version of Alice in Wonderland tattoo. This is the original Alice in Wonderland. As much as I like Johnny Depp. Okay, wait. Let me guess. Let me guess. It's the guy smoking hookah or the Cheshire cat.

Speaker: I have the trash. I have the trash. I have the trash. I have the trash. I have the trash. I have the trash. I have the trash. I have the trash. I have the trash. I have the trash. I have the trash. I have the trash. I have the trash. I have the trash. I have the trash. I have the trash. I have the trash. I have the trash. I have the trash.

Speaker: He's not that good. When I was five, I got yelled at for running with it. Well, she said when I was five, I got yelled at. Oh, I heard it. I heard it. Now, I'm trying to pretend I didn't hear it.

Speaker: I was like, let's go. No, no, no, no, no, no. Let me, let me explain it to you. Let me reiterate it to you, Jeff. There's in the back there a little confused. If you're confused.

Speaker: Welcome back. Jason, what's up, buddy? Say hi. You might watch football with me. How about that?

Speaker: He said, nah, I'm good. I'm with him. Nah, I'm good. Oh, Tony, I saw something the other day. Do you remember Fraggle Rock? Yeah, I never watched it. It is 40 years old as of last week. 40? 40 years old. Yeah, it is 40, yeah. How much is left on it? How much is left on it? I just love that show. Oh, I'm not 40, I'm 50. He's not.

Speaker: He's just wiser and smarter than you both combined.

Speaker: Well, that's the Battle of Victoria of the special ed class. I was just, yeah. That's the greatest relationship to your dad. Your dad's the smartest kid in the re -part class. Yeah, exactly. At least I was in a class. He was in a room. Shut up. You know why? Because your brains are the size of an acorn. Well, that daddy's brain is the size of Earth. Word, put it. Well, that explains why he has a giant fucking head.

Speaker: And women love you, bitch. Shut up. Pumpkinhead over here. Pinhead was a scary dude. How did that motherfucker lay down? I'm just curious.

Speaker: Very soft pillows Custom made billows Well, I don't think I mean I don't think Yeah, I don't think that he was worried about playing on the wrong side and the nails going too far in considering That dude that was a scary fucking movie. That was a twisted. I've never seen it I just saw the picture of the dude and I was like no I'm out

Speaker: Yeah, no, that was a, that came out back in the, back in the, you know, like back in the day. Yeah. 80s, 90s. And, and for me growing up, watching those movies that I grew up watching, that was confusing fucking movie. It's so confusing. But it's scary as shit. It is a scary fucking concept.

Speaker: I mean, there's a scene in one of the movies where they literally hung this motherfucker up on meat hooks and skinned him alive. I only watched the first one once. I didn't watch the others. I mean, they skin this fool alive. I'm scared and diffuse at the same time. I'm not fucking with Pinhead or Cheddar Box.

Speaker: That was about the lamest one on all the symbiotes. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker: Remind me about that one. I haven't seen that one. He told that one dude. He said, yeah, why don't you go fuck yourself? It was turned around. He thought, fuck, I said, oh, shit. Nah. We're forgetting about Tony's favorite movie. Human Centipede. And the Hellraiser, the female. That movie's scary. I don't give a fuck who you are. That movie's scary. What? Human Centipede.

Speaker: That's Tony's favorite movie. There's three of them. Did you know that? That's what's scary about it. Fuck it is. I love watching this shit. I'm always fucked up. It makes you stay away from everywhere. I could get over the second fly. I'm not watching the human centipedes. Oh, wow. Oh, that was supposed to go there. But you were way off. That movie's still there. Oh, big shoots over here. Oh, big shoots over here is already crashing out. I'm watching Frow video. She's already fading.

Speaker: You can turn it off, Jason. You can turn it off. Watching TikTok videos. Fading. Talking to all that big game about, I'm for a beer daddy. You got a beer daddy. Well, honestly, that was an hour ago with a whole less, like, whole less shit talking. So she got some of the energy out. She's tired. She doesn't know. Hang out with Chris too long. You're going to lose all your energy. I'm just saying.

Speaker: something hard to find a new boyfriend when you're dead. I'm in Cancun with an alibi. We were at the bar. I don't know what you're talking about, officer. Some chick gave us some weird photo with asterisks in it. What the fuck? You want to explain this one, copy?

Speaker: He said, listen here, inspector. Explain this fucking phone number. Everything was cool. We danced. I bought her drinks and then she gave me this weird fucking number. He's like, no, I get it. You're not going to get me there. I was born at night. It wasn't last night.

Speaker: We were kind of on a subject of Johnny Depp. We were talking about Johnny Depp a little bit ago. And some I saw on TikTok. I never noticed it before. But do you ever notice that Johnny Depp puts his belt buckle on his hip as opposed to the front?

Speaker: No, he does. If you look at all the pictures, Johnny, his belt goes on his side as opposed to in a sense. I don't understand why you would do that for you to be bothered by.