Transcript
Speaker: Oh.
Speaker: Oh.
Speaker: What up everybody? Happy Wednesday. Happy 4th of July. The weekend tomorrow is 4th of July. Independence Day for us Americans. That means we're going to cook some good food. We're going to drink some ice cold tasty alcoholic beverages and we're going to blow lots of shit up. why That's how we do in America. past week
Speaker: Eddie who um once said once said history started on July 4th, 1776. Everything else before that doesn't matter. Exactly. It is Wednesday. That means it's time for what the fuck news. Half the team is here. Connor's just a plain old bitch and has no legs and apparently Jarvis is, um, having his period and going through a midlife crisis. I don't know, but but there's no Jarvis. There's no Connor, but never fear. Your favorite duo is here. Jeff's in the building and you guys know me. Um, I was the head of the table last night, but you guys know me best as quick, you know, and before you continue, this is something that you and I were talking about. We're going old school this week, buddy.
Speaker: It's just you and me like back in the day. Yeah. We went, uh, we, we lose staium yeah. Nostalgia, if you will. So, you know, strap in folks. Yeah, exactly. So, uh, welcome to what the fuck news. If it's in the news that it made us go, what the fuck is probably going to make you go? What the fuck? And we're going to talk about it tonight. We're going to add our two cents. and Our two cents will probably make you go. What the fuck makes these idiots think they're qualified to give us the news when we're not. because we ah
Speaker: I think the little bitches that you. Yes.
Speaker: yes I have a network and you do not. No, I'm just kidding. Just sit back and, and listen there little boys and girls. Yes. Yes. Put your seatbelt on. Enjoy the ride. It'll be a very know creatures yeah it'll be a little bit of a bumpy ride, but nonetheless, it'll be fun. Anywho, if you're not already gone, check out the network speaking of a network. Yes. We do have a podcast network, not a network from channels, a network of shows, starting out with Monday being men caring for minutes, immense mental health podcast. Tuesdays is this guy right here beside me, Jeff's garage. He's hanging out of it fits in the garage and it has a motor or it has something to do with tools.
Speaker: there go Oh, yeah, we're gonna talk about or if you missed it last the last tool we talked about yesterday everybody on the planet ah did everyone there play um we' gonna bring out up here in a second once I If you missed last night's episodes you can watch and listen to him and Benji his co -host talk about their dream she sheds Yes, I said she sheds because they're ladies hey I'll take a man cave she shed. I don't give a shit. Is that a trans? Yeah, I have a trans shit. I have a trans shit. Or trans cave.
Speaker: Anyways, but Tuesday nights is Jeff's garage. Wednesday nights is the show right here. What the fuck news? Where if it's in the news and it makes us say what the fuck? We're go going to talk about it. Thursday nights is our guys are ever talking shit. Mark and Brian. and We did pre -record last night. We had a really good time. We did our wrestling picks for this ah this coming weekend's Money in the Bank. We had a fun cast. And somebody made their debut on the network. We had a fun cast. ah My wise man, Brett Heyman, joined us.
Speaker: Um, from the good real hunting podcast, uh, Bryce Tucker, VJV, if you will, joined us. Of course, Mark and Brian was there. I was there the head of the table, the tribal tribal chief, if you will. And last night we had a debut. We had a brand new participant in the podcast. And, uh, I will say I will call him my right hand man, if you will, as we're going with bloodline gimmick with me being the head of the table in my. my wise man, and I have my right hand man beside me, uh, cash, my son, you guys have all seen him popping in out throughout the shows. He made his debut on a podcast and I've just got to say, I'm not going to spoil anything, but watch it because proud dad i kept up a little van kept up. I heard proud proud dad moment. last And of course he, uh,
Speaker: He had to tell his mama all about it. So she messaged me and she's like, I heard that cash to the podcast with you guys last night. I was like, yeah. He said, she said, as soon as that she picked him up, man, that's all you can talk about. Said he can't wait for the next one. I was so proud of him. He had that of next year, buddy. Next year. make sure less is more cash was awesome Like I said, no spoilers. You guys are going to have to watch it. Just know that Cash made his podcast debut and absolutely killed it. You'll have to see his performance tomorrow afternoon. We're slowly retiring click. yeah right Tomorrow afternoon. I think Brian, our Mark, if that's you in here, you said 4 p .m. Correct. You're going to air that tomorrow afternoon. So
Speaker: kind of midday before the fireworks, maybe during barbecue and go ahead and jump on the YouTube or Facebook and uh, I completely yeah lose track of my dates some days. Anyways, Friday nights is Glick's house of music. Uh, I'm hanging out with musicians. We're talking about their career. We're getting to know them. We're just hanging out and having a good time. Uh, I won't be doing a show this Friday, but I'll be back on the 12th with a, with a special show. I'm super excited for this one. Uh, women rock LA. That's what they will be joining me. Jules and the house. She'll be back. Uh, Brie, Missy and Marley, they're doing a show on July 19th out in LA.
Speaker: We're gonna come, they're gonna come hang out with me on Glick's House of Music. We're gonna talk about the show and and and promote the show and all that fun stuff. Then Saturdays is Nonsenseable Nonsense. It's the foundation show of this here network. The nonsense building box. Yes. As Jeff and I have said, we've been kicking it old school this week. Saturday night, we did Nonsenseable Nonsense for the first time in a long time. Just the two of us. It's been like a year since we've done an episode. yeah But nonetheless, nonsensical, nonsense, unhinged, unapologetic comedy based podcast. We're talking about anything and everything. And we throw a monkey wrench into the entire podcasting game. We call it the open door challenge and we drop the link in the chat. And we basically dare you guys to come on screen and hang out with us. If you'd like, love us or hate us, you can come out and hang out. All we ask is turn your camera on and put your pecker away. Keep it off screen. Nobody wants to see it.
Speaker: you can do it back on you want just And then we round up the week with a new show yet to be named yet to have a debut date. I don't know what's going on with that one right now. um But eventually we'll have a sports show on Sundays. You know, um as the non -sports guy, I think that's the most the the most excited I am for a show. Which is surprising because you are not sports. Well, it's like I'm not going to watch it. But like I said, it is going to be hosted by Steven. I'm super excited for Steven. He's going to be, you know, just like he did with his movie show. And I've said for years, a movie show is not easy. No. And we're a sports thing. It's kind of like I did the business show and you're like, what are you doing?
Speaker: You're a car guy. Do a fucking car show. And I think that's the same thing with Stevens. I, you know, I can talk about business. I'm not an expert. I'm not an expert in cars, but I know a lot. And Stevens is not an expert in movies, but he knows a lot. He's just not an expert. But with sports, the dude is like a fucking savant, man. So um I'm excited for the kid. I say kid because he's still young.
Speaker: Uh, yeah, exactly. Uh, but yeah, all those shows Monday through Sunday on the nonsensical network. We are on all the social medias, Facebook, Instagram X and tick tock. We do shows live on YouTube, Twitch X and Facebook. So you can catch us live. We can't catch us live. Where are you missing episodes? You can listen to any time, any place, wherever you listen to podcasts that we are everywhere on all the podcasts and platforms. You can listen all at the nonsensical network or. as you see scrolling right down there at the bottom of your screen, follow us everywhere. Bio dot .link slash nonsensical network. All those links are right there. Easy for you to pick or click on. You know the deal. Follow, like, subscribe, and give us a share if you'd be so kind. We greatly appreciate that. Anywho, let's jump right on into it, shall we? Jeffrey, you were saying behind the scenes, we might as well go ahead and get right on into it. We were having a conversation Saturday.
Speaker: Yeah, well, we had this conversation near an argument, if you will. You know, we were talking about dragons and we we we mentioned the fact that we don't know how dragons mate. But we also said that dragons lay eggs. But chickens lay eggs and we didn't know how chickens lay eggs. So a little bit of research, sir. I'm on a list now. And I'm going to read this to you. Did you know people in fucking No, I do Google it. How do chickens reproduce? So I'm on a list, but not a major list. So I'm going to read this to you at this moment that makes me say, I get it. It's just Jeff that makes me say what the search history, but I'm going to read this to you and I'm going to fuck it up a lot. So bear with me. Oh, big word. The chicken mating process, otherwise known as the
Speaker: I gotta figure out how to say it's the local kiss. Local kiss. Well, as you know, a a chicken has a cloaca. You know, that's where the eggs come out. right They got an asshole, they're gonna eat all that stuff, but they got a cloaca. And this is how the process goes. So the roof rooster often employs a type of foreplay by prancing around the head and clucking before mounting her, transferring is her sperm happens quickly. Sad for her already. Without penetration,
Speaker: normally in the mammal mating, the coloaca, or vent, of the male and the female touch and sperm are sperms are exchanged. So, basically, they scissor like lesbians. So, I was kind of like, you know what? I have a... I'm going to bring this up. You're going to see this. this is like actually fuck Exactly you can't you know that that old saying is like you fuck worse than a chicken That's kind of a real thing because chickens don't actually fuck. This is the the process right here Chicken one -on -one chicken reproduction 101 The bitchin chickens, I'm just saying so yeah so just kind of clear up what we were talking about the other day and
Speaker: Donkey didn't actually do anything. He just kind of, there you go. yeah but Don't have sex. Yeah, but donkey fucked up a dragon as we discussed. Yeah, I know, but I'm just saying. So did he, I mean, I still haven't figured out how donkey and the dragon have done it. I'm still looking that up. Yes. How's that happen? Yeah. Well, But yeah, I figured, i I looked that up and I was like, that's kind of interesting. I did not know that. Growing up on a farm, having chickens, had no fucking clue. I just thought it was just happening. I always thought like the, and I don't know why I thought this, but I originally thought that the the the hen would lay eggs and then the roost would come over and all over the eggs and then there you go. But apparently I was wrong.
Speaker: I don't know what the term is. I just figured chickens were able to reproduce on their own. ah Yeah. Yeah. I, I had that theory as well. So apparently we were both wrong. So we learned something today on what's the news. There you go.
Speaker: I'm just saying, I'm just saying chickens are the lesbians of the animal world. Cause all they do is they just a scissor. They just rub holes. Yeah. They rub holes together. I'm not saying I'm going to watch that video, but I'll watch the list. Well, no, i don't I didn't see a video. But speaking of reproduction, if there was a video, well, trust me, I've looked. it So speaking of reproduction, I have a small video clip and then I have a question for you.
Speaker: i I found this date, the wife and I are talking on the phone today, and we're we're we're both on TikTok at the same time, like fucking morons. And we're sending videos back, and, oh my gosh, you got to see this. So she sent this, and I saw it the other day, and then she sent it, and I actually watched it. And I have so many questions. And and this is a subject that could technically happen to you, buddy.
Speaker: so i'm gonna play this little clip i'm not gonna play the whole thing because it's like a minute 58 but you'll kind of get the gist here we go ninety nine point nine percent relay on ma'am you're oh no i not or or we later no ma'am that you guys are biologically relatedev
Speaker: Oh, I should've known. We from Alabama, that's all we gotta say. Somebody lying. ah line my dady yoin Somebody Somebody lying. Well, obviously we needed to because we wasn't gonna find out that we was hunting sisters. Baby, we can't tell nobody. Baby, we might as well say we from Alabama. Baby, we cannot tell nobody. Sway home, Alabama. Nose, The nose is a little similar. The eyes. okay the eyes okay there's this is the skin color so i'll save you the entire video basically these these girls have been dating for five years and the the girl in the black shirt there she actually did a a cheek swab on her girlfriend and sent it into to dna test turns out they're related and one of the questions they bring up is
Speaker: What do we do now? Do we break up? Do we keep going? Because we've been dating andma and smashing for five years. So my question to you, sir, sounds like god for God forbid you and Nikki do that 43 and me or whatever, and you find out you're related. What do you do?
Speaker: I mean, it's a moral conundrum. Yeah. You do it, Joe Dirt. I'm your sister. I'm your sister. You know, I don't know what you would do in that. So if you break up,
Speaker: It's been five years. I know you and Nicky haven't been together for five years. I know you forgot what they did because I mean, it's been but it's been five years. It's, uh, I mean, it's water under the bridge and it's, let's, let's be honest. It's not like they're going to get pregnant for me. They they are female. Well, yeah. And in all honesty, uh, the damage is done. Agreed. So do you keep going? why would you what what what possessed you to do it was she trying to do a twenty three and me or I think it was. I think it was. want to know what the purpose Well, ah she she says at one point in the video and it's it's almost at the end, she's like, we just look too similar. So she basically said all black people look alike.
Speaker: She said it, not me. yeah But she said, we looked through some, we got same nose, same eyes. maybe you are so So she did the DNA test. Now, I'm sorry, I don't want to know. like i like I don't want to know i' if I'm related to my wife or not. But once you get married, you're already related. So it's. Yeah, I don't think that. Do you break up? You just not tell anybody? after After five years, like, the damage is done, man. Like, whatever's going to happen has already happened after five years. Well, those two are not in danger of hurting each other. You know? Yeah. The main thing when it comes to incest, it's it's about the next generation that comes from that incest. I'm sorry. I know the LGBTQ Alphabet Warrior is going to get me for this, but they're not going to get pregnant.
Speaker: They're chickens.
Speaker: Well, yeah, I mean, they they don't have the proper equipment to impregnate one another. Agree. but So but I mean, and there is a stigma behind fucking your sister. but I mean, I guess there's also, well, you know, how are they related? Are they like fourth cousins? That's the other thing. That's the other thing. It's like because you and I both know people that have married like third, fourth, fifth cousins.
Speaker: So it's not a, you know, it's not like the news, like like we were at the hanging out at the family reunion and decided, how are you doing? You know, it just happens. You run into people, you know. We've also heard the stories of of long -lost siblings finding each other and to have this unbreakable bond of they have to be together. And it turns out they're married or they're brother and sister. I saw a story about that several years ago. So but in your situation, let's say you and Nikki at this age, you've been dating for five years or you've been married for five years. What do you do, buddy? You just shut the fuck up. Don't tell anybody. And then if you close the doors on it, come on, sis, let's go do this. Yeah, I think I think it honestly just depends on the relation. Yeah.
Speaker: You know, like, I don't think, I don't think that, I mean, well, I mean, because they, because they asked the question at the end of the video, what do we do? Knowing how some men are not putting color into the equation, just knowing how some men are, and they're literally sticking their dicks in there. Jeffrey, you know, if it's breathing and it's got a hole in your dick in it. So. You know, if they were sisters, I mean, obviously you gotta, if you're like next to Ken, yeah got it yeah you as much as it would probably, you know, suck because obviously you've been in a relationship for five years and you know you're in love with each other, but.
Speaker: If you're like next to a fucking kid, if you're sisters, yeah, well... boy Sisters is one thing. We're not like 10th cousins, 4th removed, who gives a fuck, right? Yeah, if I'm saying like, you know, sometimes you do that, that you do that 23 and me and and it sends you relatives that you didn't know that were relatives, you know, there could be some guy out in California that's like... a cousin, you know, like, Oh, okay. He, we just share the same bloodline somehow, somewhere. Yeah, exactly. know But there's a small circle here somewhere in the tree. It's not like, it's not like, you know, I'm dating my aunt, my, my cousin, and we find out, Oh shit, we're cousins. Your, your mom is my aunt. and Yeah.
Speaker: You want to go knock one out now? You know, yeah. Yeah. That's a different story. but it Depends on how close the relations, you know, like how and how close you close you are related. And if it is one of those like third, fourth cousin things or some shit like that, just keep your fucking mouth. Well, granted, the video's fake anyways. I'm going to go ahead and call. um I am too. I'm going to call fake because even though, you know, they do have similar noses and stuff, but at the end of the day, and I was telling this to Tanya today, I was like, this just sounds like fucking satire. What's up, love it. Yeah. i Like, so oh, look, I'm getting a phone call. Turn the fucking camera on. Yeah. Oh, the DNA place is calling.
Speaker: Yeah. Where COVID is calling. Yeah, exactly. but but The DNA just came back. You are sisters. Sure. And I agree. I agree. If you if you're like 10th cousins, 4 times removed, you just shut the fuck up and don't tell him but bu them lay down in your area like I do. Yeah, well yeah you you you nailed that one. A minimal of three hours away. Yeah. and just is a different or you do like me and you move to another country. Or, like she said, sweet home Alabama. Hey, that's what I said. You sell that SUV, you sell the SUV, you buy a 69 Dodge Charger, paint the fucker orange, you call it a day. You move to Alabama, you become a real -time fan, and you just stay banging your shit. And you fit right in. You fit right in. But I find that funny.
Speaker: Then you create a whole new generation of in brand fucktards. Well, once again, they're not in any danger of creating multiples. Well, unless they find a brother. Yeah. yeah Yes. and wait Hey, look, we got a brother. Let's let's continue this. They date him for five years and go, Oh shit, you're our brother. Um, it's just a cycle of these two everybody they meet they're somehow related there is ways for for women to obviously get pregnant without a penis uh but i mean and yeah but it's not the same dna it's not like you like like if if you and i wanted to have a kid together it's not like we can mix up our dna and create a kid with some you know some rando chick to carry at this point you probably almost can it wouldn't surprise me but
Speaker: I haven't heard anything about it. Well, like, you know, it's funny that we bring it up, you know, not to go out to the subject of last night, but we we did the the w resttle the the money in the bank picks last night on Talking Ship. And one of the wrestlers, Braun Breaker, is the son of legendary Hall of Famer, Rick Steiner. I know you used to watch a little bit of wrestling back in the day. Very, very little. Rick and Scott Steiner, Rick's was the dog face grandma and they were out of the University of Michigan. They were like wrestlers. If you've seen them, you might know who they were. Right. Exactly. you His hit Rick's son is a genetic free clone. Like if you took the DNA from Rick and the DNA from Scott and put it together and put it in one woman and then she had that baby, it's, it's prawn breaker.
Speaker: Okay. He's got, he's got the size of, uh, 20, 24. They could have just gone to motherfucker. You know, Scott, Scott was the bigger of the two, but he's got the size of Scott. He's got the athleticism, uh, of Rick and, and he's just an absolute fucking freak of nature. So, I mean, I mean, maybe, yeah maybe we can, you know, Hey, it's science and they are not scientists. Let's be honest. yeah
Speaker: Yeah, um I'm just saying, you know, I, if this is real, I feel for the girls, I really do. Because if you're date summer for five years, it's not just a fling. No, no. that Well, again, that, that, that erases the question. What do you, what do you, I don't know what I would do. I mean, like I said, if it was like like until you're in that cist situation, you know, what's next of Kim, I'm out. I'm sorry. I mean, it sucks. Obviously we now we know we family. I'm not, you know, I'm still it's a family reunion to be able to the yeah yeah like i gotta to be able to, you know, if
Speaker: you knowll find out Nikki is like my long lost sister. I'm like, Oh, grow ah man. Oh man. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. If you find out you're related to Nick. No wonder are we connected so well in the bed. It's like we were brother and sister. You just get her to do the, the what's her name? ah
Speaker: what's sort what's What's the chick's name? From Joe Dirt? I'm your sister, I'm your sister. Yeah. Yeah, you haven't learned that phrase. Yeah, I know. Next to you gotta, you gotta break it off. Uh you know, if it's a distant relative or something like that, I guess you just keep it, keep your mouth fucking shut and don't. And well, and like that's the other thing. Like, God forbid they are sisters. They're not hurting anybody. Just shut the fuck up. There is that a video. You, you only have the inner turmoil that you have to deal with.
Speaker: which could destroy the relationship right there. But, but if you're both into it and you talk about it, I mean, that's first and foremost, they're going to have to have a talk. It's going to really change the dynamic of family reasons. I see you looking at Aunt Kwanifa like that. What the fuck? Hey, if she's anything like you, I'd be good. Shut the fuck up. I'm just saying. Sister fucker. You can imagine that. Well, yeah, the arguments, they're just like, yeah, well, you fucked your sister. You are my sister. Well, it's still a valid point, bitch. You fucked your sister. No, you fucked your sister. Let's go fuck. Okay. Wow. If it'll end this argument, I'm just saying it's, it's, it's a weird, you know, once again, it's 2024. I'm not judging, but I'm a little judgy.
Speaker: I'm not judging them. I'm just curious used to know where this goes. I and i wish I could follow them because it's like this thing. Next on facts on facts. This is like somebody reposted this so I don't have the actual account to follow because I kind of want to know more. I want to contact but like, Hey, is this you guys fucking around or is this real?
Speaker: You know, honestly, it wouldn't be that hard to backtrack. Oh, I'm sure it wouldn't. But but that sounds like a lot of work and I don't want to do it. Well, speaking of siblings, I got another story, and and we've all played this game. youve you You know, the game floor is lava.
Speaker: Yeah, floor is lava. Yeah, as we're kids, you know, don't touch the floor, you're lava, you'll burn. Well, a mom, and I've got to find out where she's from. um I don't think... I think she's in the UK. So... Your name comes out of the UK. It does, oddly enough. This is from the mirror in the UK, so I'm assuming she's UK. But she she she posted something on Twitter. And she was playing the Flora's Lava with her kids, with her kids. as As you do, you know, jumping from cushion to cushion, you know, whatever. And apparently she did a move that quote unquote traumatized her kids. Now, this is Flora's Lava. We're playing imaginary. So I'm going to read you her tweet and I want you to react.
Speaker: She fell into the lava, didn't she? Well, well, apparently when you're playing the floor's lava with your children, it is bad form to lay on the floor and allow the lava to consume you. I know now. She's like, fuck it, I quit. And apparently her kids don't want to play no more. I thought that would win for the furniture.
Speaker: Yeah. Because if you got if you got heavy kids, they'll break the couch from jumping from the coffee table or vice versa. But apparently, that's not the movie you want to play. But if I ever play Floors Lava by kids, I'm going to play. I'm going to do that. The other side note on that is when you play the Floors Lava and you let the lava consume you, then you get to come back as the lava monster. As the lava monster. And body slam your kids. I call that a win. I didn't think of that. Yeah, I'm in. I'm in. But yeah, i you scream in pain on the floor because the lava is consuming you. You traumatize your kids.
Speaker: And then you're like, if you come back as a lava monster, so you've already mentally traumatized them. And then you get to physically abuse them because you're a monster. Exactly. So well, well the internet is calling her a terrible influence to her kids and that this is a terrible thing. And it's not a winning strategy. I'm sorry. I died. I won't have to play no more. I don't think that there's anything wrong with it. I can't, I mean, I can't tell you how many times like even. How, how wussy are their kid or her kids even right that they're traumatized cause mom got consumed by the lava. Even my kids have fallen in the lava and died before. i'm sacrifice like My kids to the lava. Oh, that's like, that's like number one move. Yeah.
Speaker: You know, I mean, like, that's all part of the game. Sometimes you slip when you go to move from the table to the couch and yeah yeah for all good you, land on your kid, you say, I do have to say, yeah, what kind of fucking pussy kids are you raising? Yeah. Well, you're UK kids. It's sure matt yeah yeah, exactly exactly love it. It's it's just imagination. You're exactly your How good is her acting that our kids are traumatized again? I would like to say Meryl Streep over here needs calm down She went and got boiling water and threw it on herself Boy
Speaker: and roll out our work mama's dying I'm getting don't do it. Well, speaking of death, sir, I haven't seen here. I have a funeral home staff releases dead woman to find out she's actually breathing. So she's actually breathing. So a 74 year old woman was pronounced dead in hospice care and they sent her to the funeral home and the funeral home found out she was still breathing. Whoopsie. Yeah, that's kind of a, this is, uh, this is checked in clear it hospice. I didn't think about that. Uh, this is, this is actually, uh, last month this happened. Um,
Speaker: Constance Glantz, 74, thought to have died in a hospice in Nebraska. Shout out to Nebraska. Earlier the that morning, she was transferred and an undertaker was preparing her body for the funeral when he noticed she was still breathing. Emergency workers gave her CPR and she was taken to the hospital where she ah wear her condition was not made public. So they covered it up. We're going to go ahead and say this one time for the family. ah cheing stretch Yeah. Yeah. That was my grandma. If anybody wants to know I'm, I'm, I'm, my check. Yeah. um Yeah. That's, I'm sorry. That's a major up hospital. Uh, yeah. That hospice facility is going to be, uh,
Speaker: fishing out some casseroles. So the Love Funeral Home in Lincoln, Nebraska is the one that made this discovery. Is that Love's funeral home at the car stop? No, it's actually, it's actually, it's called Birthress Master and Love Funeral Home. So it's like three, three people made one funeral home, like partnership. Yeah. Right. And, uh, it's, it's in Lincoln, Nebraska. Um, I'm just saying somebody's going to get sued. Yeah. Somebody's, somebody's about to get a, uh, police say there was no criminal intent by the nursing home staff, but the investigation is ongoing. Well, yeah. I mean, but I mean, I get it. When, if you're sleeping really good, dude, I might think you're dead.
Speaker: Well, I do know my sleep. Thanks. Thanks to a sleep apnea. So well that, that too. So, and, and let's be honest, 74 is not that old. So it's like, get a mirror boy, put it up there.
Speaker: Oh yeah, there's going to absolutely be a investigation and all that crap. and Somebody's losing their job, boy. I'm telling you right now. But you know, you know yeah I wish that I could say that this is not a very common thing to happen, but unfortunately. Yes, it's 2024. It happens more often than not. yeah Around the world, you know me how many times so a story like this comes out? you know Well, we've actually covered stories like this too. Yeah well if it happens in some countries like your country then you guys think that mother Guadalupe performed a miracle then you know then it's like fucking festivals for two weeks because hey hey shout out for the party people I'm just saying
Speaker: Well, I got one more for you, buddy. This one is, this was, it took me a little while to figure out, speaking of arrests, because as as we know, somebody's going to lose their job over there. ah a We're going to Russia here real quick. A Russian man is under anti -terror law. He's under arrest under anti -terror law after talking about philosophy of yoga.
Speaker: Like yoga, like exercise. Like you like yes, 100 % like yoga. So um I can't name it. Your Vekha law includes a restrictions on religious groups and followings of non -traditional religions. A Russian yoga teacher has been arrested for illegally illegal missionary activity under the convertverse ah and Controversial law, new law designed to combat combat terrorism. ah This guy's name, yeah, Jesus. My screen doesn't really pixelate that well. This guy's last name is Yurgay. No, Yurgay. It's Dimitri Yurgay is said to have fallen foul of the country's anti -terrorism measure dubbed the Big Brother Law.
Speaker: ah while giving a talk about philosophy of yoga at St. Petersburg's festival. The computer programmer was arrested and charged with allegedly conducting a legal missionary activity, which is an offense under the so -called, whatever the name of this law is, ah that was brought this year. um
Speaker: Yeah. And so basically he was like, Hey man, yoga is good for you. It's, you know, it's good for the soul. It's good for the mind. But apparently you're not allowed to talk religion. Yeah. I was going to say talking religion in Russia is a terrorist. Well, I don't, well, it's like he, I think what he did, he was, he just kind of gathered a crowd around and he's like, Hey, everybody come listen about yoga. It's fucking awesome. And everybody was like, no, it's not. Somebody called cops. But he was, he was given a speech in this, you know, at a festival, you know, like like, you know how it starts out? Well, it doesn't happen to us, unfortunately. But you know, you start talking to your buddy and somebody else is like, I got an opinion about that. And then it becomes this dude preaching to the crowd. And apparently it was, he was talking about yoga, but under the law, you have to have like, you got to go to the church, you got to stay in a building, you got to, you can't just do it publicly.
Speaker: So apparently Russia, we can't, we can't know the nonsensical nonsense religion. We'll go to Tim. Well, we all know Russia's a little bit fucked up. Thank God we're America. Well, I'm American. may well it is the um It's one of those weird things where if it happens somewhere, it'll eventually happen in the States. It's not that far of a stretch. I, you know, I don't, I don't, um, I don't foresee the American people letting, you know, there's too many people that are not overly sensitive and overly woe. Well, no, but the thing is, is like, this is an anti -terrorism thing. Look at what happened with 9 -11 and they they did the Patriot Act. That gave everybody immense fucking powers to be like, they can detain you for like 70 hours without representation because they call you a terrorist under the Patriot Act.
Speaker: I mean, technically, we're just oh, we are 100%. I'm calling it now. We just we we just we address. I'll put up in the chat just ah in case anybody wants to send so we we like our because we use our podcast like a lot on mobile for for her. Yeah. We are the anti terrorism relief. Yes.
Speaker: but yeah, like, so you're going to talk, you're going to listen to the nonsensical network. Well, I mean, but let's, let's be honest. If we go to Russia and we're talking about nonsensical nonsense and how great of a podcast it is or what the fuck poops and we gather a big enough crowd, they can be like, you guys are fucking terrorists. God damn right. I'm a terrorist. yeah And I'm about to go over your fucking country. but Bring it on Russians. What up, pooty poot. you chair Well, let's be honest, out of all the places to go to jail, Russia's not one of them. Yeah, no.
Speaker: i We all saw Scarlett, it was that the the Black Widow a movie where dude was in that Russian prison. I'm just saying. Gotta go to the Gulag. Go to the Gulag. Well, you know, if you go to the Gulag, you kill the other guy, you get out. Yeah. So yeah, wins a win.
Speaker: Sasquatch versus Putin in the main event. There you go. I'd watch that, honestly. I will put that on the network, sir. but I'm going to work on getting that set up.
Speaker: You're going to save the world from World War III just by beating up Putin. I'll never have to buy a beer again. It can be a handicap match. You can get that little Korean bastard, too, to help him. I'll fight him both. I don't know. He'll Jackie Chan, you're asking. You know, just just because he's Asian does not mean that he knows martial arts. How do you know? Because I have Asian. Well, according according to Kim Jong Un's people, he shot 18 holes and scored 18. He also created the and invented the Internet. thank However, we have it here in America. I shot 18. I'm giving up golf, boys. I'm too good.
Speaker: Well, we also have an idiot here in the States that claims he invented the internet. His name's Al Gore. Yeah, let's be honest. That is like the most outrageous claim you can do. I want to tell that to my kids. I created the internet. Yeah. And when they're like, no, I'm like, well, if Al Gore can say it, why can't I fucking say it? Prove it. I discovered climate change too. Yeah, prove it. Tell me it didn't. I'll go make a Wikipedia page on my Wikipedia page. We'll say that I created, and there's a lot of people out there. That's what we do, dude. let's go on and Let's go on Wikipedia and change it to nonsensical nonsense created the internet. Why don't we create, that's what we should do. We should create a non -network Wikipedia page and just put all kinds of outline, this bullshit in there. and like Like, you know, when nonsensical nonsense looks at the sun, the sun looks away, you know, that's why we have night.
Speaker: You know, it was it was bitten by a king cobra and after three days of agony pain, the king cobra died. You know, once it ran into a burning orphanage and saved 500 orphans all in a single swoop after he had to fight two polar bears to get into the orphanage. I'm telling you, Wikipedia. Watch out. Here we go. Oh, people were quoted on their podcasts. Yeah. They live and die by Wikipedia. We have people on this podcast that have quoted Wikipedia. yeah They live and die by Wikipedia. So we we should create a Wikipedia page and just put all kinds of nonsense on it. or like nasa NASA never went to the moon. nonsenseical Nonsense filmed it.
Speaker: yeah Or tell our fans, hey, we got a Wikipedia page. Go put whatever you want on there. I am fucking in. I know what I'm doing and tonight.
Speaker: Grammarly, fire that bitch up. You're about to correct some spelling, boy.
Speaker: Oh man, we should totally do that. We scroll through podcasts one time and they're reading our Wikipedia page. These guys are amazing. it number They've never lost a fight. They once kicked Chuck Norris's ass. Who else could say that? Nobody. Jeff and Mark once wrote. They actually were the second guy on the grassy gnome. They killed Kennedy. They had been in it. <unk> but
Speaker: You just made this Jeff guy fucking alien. I'm just saying. That'd be probably about the most believable thing on there. Fact. I'm just saying. It's a... I call it a win. I think we should totally do it. Win is a win. We'll give but ever we'll give every every one of us a login page. We just put different facts. We'll have like a fact sheet on on our Wikipedia page. just just wasn't just one page and then we can go nonsense, but nonsense founded Google and they found in YouTube. yeah Thank them. Here's their link. Next thing we know we got 14 million followers.
Speaker: I wouldn't be mad at that. Monetization, here we come, baby. The reason why Mr. Beast gives out so much money is because na so nonsense, nonsense bonds him. They pay for it all. You, for just a dollar a day, can save save puppies from being kicked in the river by Jeff. Hey. Here's our cash app. Yeah. Guys, how did we get a billion dollars? Well, Jeff had these puppies.
Speaker: it And what can I say? People like puppies. The cats, they didn't like so much. yeah We got more votes to kill them than we got money. So we switched them out for puppies. Fucking cats. Did you know that nonsense, the nonsense killed Hitler? but
Speaker: They're fucking world heroes, man. Did you know that Glick not only beat up a bear, a kangaroo, but also kicked Boston's accent's ass? How do you fight an accent? How do you fight an accent? I don't know. Ask Glick. He'll tell you. It's not easy, folks. You have to go around the world and give speeches on how you beat up an accent.
Speaker: Click is also the ruler of Canada. It's a little little unknown fact that Canada is actually Glicklandia now. It's been Glicklandia for about the last 20 years because - There's a reason why hurricanes don't hit Ohio. but It's not because they're so far in the land. mother It's because that's where nonsense was found. And hurricanes are afraid.
Speaker: but ah Wow. I mean, I would have fun with that. I really want to go and create a fucking wiki page. Right. Well, I saw something like wikis going to a subscription base. Is it? I think so.
Speaker: Wikipedia. yeah I saw that the other day, it was like. English. No, maybe not. A lot of, a lot of, well, uh, supposedly, um, I guess this is kind of news, uh, supposedly, uh, here very soon, uh, X is, uh, you're only going to be able to go live on X if you pay for a subscription. Oh really? Yeah. Um, so not only do you already have a bunch of assholes with a blue check because they bought one and they think they're important now with their 15 followers,
Speaker: Right. But how you're going to embrace the stupidity and people are going to feel special because they pay $25 a month to go live on X. Um, we won't, we'll, we will, we will drop X in a heartbeat, but I don't even think about it. yeah I'm just saying there is a the right now on Wikipedia, nonsensical nonsense butance does not exist. And then right here, it says created deaths draft or submit a review and i read nonsensical network, not nonsense, the network. And then we can we can put each show in there that we just have a network page. I see. We can also create. I'm going to send you this link, buddy. Actually, here's what I'm going to do.
Speaker: In the chat. Well, no, that's not in the chat. I'm going to put the link. ah Copy link address. Anybody wants to create a nonsensical, non nonsensical network. Wikipedia page. There you go. Create a way, just make it be cool. Make it be really cool. Oh, you shouldn't have done that. Why not? It's funny.
Speaker: yeah like somebody's gonna actually spend anybody anybody Anybody can alter a page once it's created. But if we create the page, then it's our page. You're going to let somebody else create the page? No. Well, that's true. Yeah. you big dumb But no, that's just such as a review. I have the this is to create one, recreate creation, a new redirect. I'll put you on YouTube. It's fine. Whatever.
Speaker: I don't know. The problem is like just to create a page is like a lot of work. It's really not, though. Could be. I'll play with it, see what I can do. Jesus Christ, I'll do it in five minutes tomorrow. OK. Well, that way, everybody, once you create it tomorrow on, let's say, Monday, everybody use the link and do a review. Oh. but ah I will, I will work on one this weekend. I'm telling you, it's going to be awesome. Because you anybody, anybody, anybody can go and edit a Wikipedia page, but if we create it, then it's our page. That way some other jackass doesn't create a page for us. Oh, and short over I'm just saying we can't do it. You know, if they put it there, you know, they put it there like,
Speaker: Jeff is playing me regular and and Connor likes to touch little boys and blah, blah, blah. Obviously we don't want that kind of stuff out there, but you know, understood. But if it's cool stuff like me kicking chicken, Chuck Norris's ass, I'm in. ah but but Oh, just a bunch of random fucker. What's up, lady? Just a bunch of random fucker. I'll work. I'll work on one this weekend. I might have some free time at home this weekend. I'll work. I'll create it just so nobody does anything with it except for me. Exactly. For the social media. So. Exactly. And i'll I'll find a list of awesome things we've done. You know, like Jeff's garage created the first car ever.
Speaker: Just so you know. You all owe him a dollar.
Speaker: Oh, I created the seatbelt. I've saved billions of lives. Everybody owes me a book. There you go.
Speaker: I'm just saying, if I make a billion dollars, you won't be mad. Because of our Wikipedia post about me creating the first world's first seat. I wouldn't be mad at a billion dollars, but I wouldn't either.
Speaker: Volvo didn't create the first seatbelt, by the way. Is Jonathan Tucker. Save her for Tuesday. Jonathan Tucker sounds like a country singer or a football player. I think his name is Jonathan Tucker. He worked for Volvo. No, no, he actually created the Tucker car. I have no idea. I got no dog in this fight.
Speaker: Tucker.
Speaker: Oh, so. Oh, yeah, no, what don' we we we know people personally who live and die by Wikipedia. Oh, yeah. 100%. Even and even when they're proven wrong. Preston Preston Tucker. Sorry. By multiple, multiple sources, they they will live and die by what Wikipedia says.
Speaker: Oh, my gosh. That's still second place. Preston Tucker created the first seat. and and
Speaker: and Stop it, fat ass. I have no idea. That's second place.
Speaker: We know people who use to be on this show that will live and die by fucking 100%. 100%. And then, you know, when those people start reading off our stats, they're like, this must be true. It's on Wikipedia.
Speaker: When did Glick find a bear? I don't know. But he must have. It's on Wikipedia. they Just photo edit me wearing a bear skin. Like, Like in the Hercules movie with the rock where he walked into the cave and he had the lion skin on. I'm just saying a win is a win, buddy. A win is a win. Glory with the bear skin on like.
Speaker: Oh.
Speaker: If it was the, if it was a seatbelt, it was called a seatbelt or a safety harness at some point. in They were actually called lap belts almost strung on the stove. But the big three said that that just makes the car sound unsafe.
Speaker: 1948 Preston tuck 48 torpedo. I don't know. I don't know either way. I don't care. I don't wear one anyways. Yeah, man. So you're the only person on the planet that doesn't owe me a buck for creating the story. I remember back in the day, being in the back of the station wagon bag with my. well Let's be honest. Our parents used to cut the seatbelts out of the car to save weight.
Speaker: ah It doesn't matter. I created it. Nobody created it before me. like I get the dollar. I'll give you a quarter. It's kind of like... It's kind of like now there's laws about riding in the bed of trucks. Man, we used to ride anywhere around in the bed of trucks. Leaning up against the tailgate, throwing stuff out the back of a truck. Yeah. Doing the wind thing. That was a fun game. You know, it's not like we had smartphones. This was our smartphone.
Speaker: but that was sorry but of the car This is fucking awesome. I'm going to push the wind in.
Speaker: Fucking. Can you see how hard the rain hurts? I know. I went out riding around on a my motorcycle. This fucking hurts. What's that stop sign? Ow. I don't find our own fucking entertainment in the cars. Yeah.
Speaker: yeah We want to be fucking hillbilly, but at least we have fun with life. but Yeah. We enjoy life. YOLO, baby. YOLO. We enjoy every second of life and we find when and we find things that other people might not find to be um entertaining, but we are entertained by it. Let's, you know, let's go play in the woods. ah good Let's go play. Let's take our BB guns in the cornfield. Shoot each other. Paintball in the in the woods, BB gun wars.
Speaker: ride dirt bikes, ride four wheelers. You don't need glasses. You'll be all right. It's just a BB jacket. You'll be all right. <unk>re having to Go down to the creek and get some crawdads and lift rocks and catch crawdads and cook them up. They are on their periods. That's where our other presenters are. Connor is looking for his legs. Yep. His Bluetooth device is not connected to OSOS. And maybe a borderline mental breakdown. I don't know. Hopefully he's okay, but I don't know. I'm sorry. The rule is if you're going to have a mental breakdown, it has to happen on the air. So it's not a lot. It's fun to have fun. Exactly, Brian. Yeah. Well, I mean, you know, like kids today, they don't, you know, they don't have fun like we did. Like,
Speaker: My kid has a game on my phone where you shoot arrows at the other contestant and try to kill him. We used to do that in real life. Remember shooting the arrows straight up in the air and running from it? One of the dumbest thing we ever fucking did, but it was fun. It was a sad day when we lost a little Timmy. He was a good friend. Poor Timmy. It was funny though. It was funny.
Speaker: but thank you I may have lost a foot. bridge go long but Yeah, oh ja darts with the metal yeah they banned those eventually. And probably because of us or people like us. I didn't even know you still buy them. Yeah, they got plastic ones. And they also I think they also I think Nerf made ah a line of so you got like the foam around the. Yeah, okay. Yeah, that's awesome.
Speaker: I miss the metal ones that had a spike on the end. That was so sharp. If it looked at a piece of paper, yeah. We didn't play cornhole with beanbag. We played horseshoes with actual shoes we took off a horse a couple of days ago. but You haven't been hit by a horseshoe? It's not fun. yeah and You're the guy to go get it and they find one more. Anyhoo, let's take ourselves our first break of the night here real quick. Um, we come back. I got some news for you. Uh,
Speaker: but put your helmets, put your special needs helmets on because I'm going to make us all feel a little bit retarded because more than we already are. People like this actually exist in the world. I do have a little bit, uh,
Speaker: the
Speaker: aluminum. No. ah They were they were steel. and medo You can they'll go through they'll go through a five oh I'm just saying. You could kill somebody with a lot. We're gonna take a real quick break. We'll be back here in a few minutes. So this is what the fuck news. I have no other reason to play this song other than the fact that I just think it's funny. Plus, it is Independence Day weekend and you know, going on and uh I just find this entertaining so it's all jokes but jokes on woke not Jason Aldean but jokes on woke with their song go woke go bro shut up Jeff
Speaker: We were happy as can be Till you caved and bent the knee Good luck coming back from Fuck the life, fuck CMT Yeah, fuck Target and fuck Disney These hypocritical, woke liberals Know they're never gonna learn It seems they're calling me stupid, calling me dumb Driving this song to number one Should've known it by now, fuck around and find out, you joke
Speaker: Ford, fuck Adidas, fuck Netflix, too Fuck Starbucks, Barbie will be in the view, fuck Biding, Kamala, AOC, fuck Snuff and look of his down on Sesame Street, can't take it
Speaker: Fuck but life, fuck CMT The silent majority Will tell you with the wallet We didn't beat up Jussie Smallet Fuck but life, fuck CMT Yeah, fuck Target and fuck Disney Damn, all these miserable Fuckin' liberals Know they're never gonna learn It seems they're calling me stupid, calling me dumb
Speaker: That song. I can't believe you played it. Okay, baby. We're barbecue and freedom. it's gone right twotime world war champions Let's go. yeah Anyways, the song is so dumb. It just makes me laugh. And it's it's mildly dated already. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's so fucking dumb. Like it's it's it's dumb and it's pointless, but it's just it just makes me laugh. but A lot of those political songs, like I'm like, this is fucking stupid, whether it's for the left or the right.
Speaker: a lot of it's just fucking stupid, but it makes me chuckle. So, and, and I, and I, and I was slacking a little bit with it being, you know, fourth of July weekend and everything. I was wanting to have some like red, white and blue patriotic style style music plan that I've totally dropped the ball. But anyway, welcome back to what the fuck news everybody. He's Jeff. I'm click the other two are MIA. Uh, Jeff this is not only just a visual but it's also an audio. Sorry. umm I'm reading a a message from bio link Voice notes to your violin. Yeah, that's old. I Just got it for the Jeff's garage one. Sorry my brain But welcome back the other two gentlemen that's normally with us and I use that term very loosely when it comes to anybody on this network
Speaker: ah but but They are. They are not here. Connor's out searching for his lost legs. And as I said, I think Jarvis might be out buying a Lamborghini. I don't know. He's gone through a midlife crisis. So hey but and i the blue one, though, Jarvis, don't get a red one. raise Yeah, I don't. Yeah. Red, red is so overdone in card actually, since you're in Minnesota up there in southern Canada, get you a purple one for the Minnesota Vikings. The purple piece. ago and it Purple and yellow.
Speaker: Yeah. Anywho, Jeff and I are here. I'm click. You guys know that you know who we are by now. If you don't, well, nice to meet you. And hopefully you stick around for a little while. Yeah. fuck seattle Speaking of the network, we have a network of shows, not a network of channels, but an actual network of shows where we bring you seven different shows throughout the week. All shows are live Monday through Sunday. So you can check us out live or you can listen anytime, any place, wherever you listen to podcasts at, uh, all at the nonsensical network. We also have all the social medias as well. So you guys can follow us there if you'd be so kind.
Speaker: all at the nonsensical network or simply go to bio .link slash nonsensical network. And I think everything is fixed and correct. And I hope so because I don't know what's going on, but it keeps fucking reverting back to the old stuff. And I have to go in there and keep an eye on it. It's a pain in the ass. Um, but hopefully it's all fixed. So like I said, give us a follow up, give us a loosen. If you'd be so kind, give us a share. Absolutely. Dumb songs are great for laughs. i This is not just just makes me laugh. It's good. I got a dumb song that you and I need to review one day. I just send you a link to it because it's old as fuck. But every time I hear it, dude, I chuckle my ass. I like I like that old song by Dennis Leary. I'm an asshole. Oh, I love that song. I'm an asshole. Anyways, you got spot on, right?
Speaker: What's that? You got Spotify? Yeah. Okay. I'm going to send you the Spotify link to the song. Okay. I don't use it. Other than listening to other podcasts that I like, but anywho, welcome back to what the fuck news we're talking news. If it's in there and it makes us go, what the fuck? Well, maybe it'll make you say what the fuck as well, but go ahead and continue almost guaranteed. Let's be honest. Yeah, basically. Jeffrey, I got some doozies for you. I'm ready, sir. Uh, no penis tonight though. Oh, yeah, there's no penis. Fuck job. I quit the requirement for what the like what the fuck news click has to give us at least one penis story. I feel ripped off. I'm offended.
Speaker: I just you during break. but Sorry. I've been busy last couple of days at work. So, um, but, uh, yeah, I'm sorry. I dropped the ball twice tonight. All right. You got one fucking job. I'll see if I can find the fivestein is story. I'll see if I can find a penis story for you in the next break. All right, Jeff, calm down. Anyways, ah kind of sad news, I guess, you know, Gen Xers like like ourselves, you know, we grew up with with that with old school MTV. This isn't so much.
Speaker: theres This is more when they actually played music. Yeah, like we grew up with actual MTV music videos and yeah MTV Spring Break. and fuck yeah one of the And one of the main staples for the MTV, the music television network, if you will, is closing their doors. And it will no longer be a part of MTV. MTV News. Remember Kurt loader so made up as the teenager. That's where I got much where we got our because in real news yeah. And, um, there was, there was a couple other anchors on there, but, but Kurt loader was the man. Like he was our, he was our. Yeah. That was, that was our only source of news because everything else, uh, who was the ABC news nightly guy? Uh, Tucker Carlson. No, not no. in the day Oh, you're talking about, uh, um,
Speaker: Cronkite Yeah, groka there was there was another guy. I can't think of his fucking name right off the bat But anyways, not only is MTV going the MTV news basically shutting their doors down and going away But all their old files and everything like that are going with them Delete as Matt Hardy says delete delete delete Really? That's a bold move buddy racing from history That's a bold, bold move. Why? No, you cannot go out until three o 'clock in the morning. I already said no. You told him to shut up. There's a microphone in there.
Speaker: No, it's past cure for you. You're not going. um No, that's a bold move when it comes down to erasing footage like that. That's wow. Do you like why wouldn't you archive that shit? How much space could it actually take up? Dude, you probably got 30 40 years worth of. Yeah, but. And Hannah and they are coming from. john I'm sure you can sell it to somebody. Oh, that's that's nostalgia, man. You know, you put it in a fucking some of the trash. Yeah, no, I it's kind of crazy to think that they're just we're just going to kind of get out of control all delete and get rid of it. That's that's fucked up.
Speaker: Um, ah you know, but you said the same thing about MTV yet another, uh, you know, the sad thing about MTV. And I don't know, maybe it's, I don't know. I don't want to sound like the get off my lawn guy. You know what I mean? I agree, but it's not the MTV. We know it's not, it's, they stopped playing music on their music videos and and and they have all these stupid ass goddamn reality shows. Uh, I will never big into road rules or i yeah. Or, or, or. What was in the fucking real world? Yeah. Real world Jersey. shit never care And then, and then they had a whole fucking series where they dedicated and praised little girls for getting pregnant at 13 and made them all. Yeah. Let's be honest. Let's be honest. I'm I, and, and I'll say it when they started going to reality TV and stuff like pimp my ride that killed MTV right there. That that's them jumping the shark. Let's be honest. So radio didn't kill the video star. No MTV killed him.
Speaker: but Reality TV show killed the radio. d yeah ah yeah The old school TV was great, man. Like I said, back, and back, back, you know, you get the breaking news, right? You know, yeah, yeah or, or, you know, you your favorite song, you get to see the music video. I get it. Nowadays, you can find any music video on fucking YouTube. But back then, we didn't have YouTube. You you wanted to see your music video. You had to fucking you know, you did have total requests live on there. That wasn't terrible. They had the old show on there. Yeah. a Free Sunday but the rat showll with the And i you know I guess the first dose of reality television that we really seen on MTV would have been MTV's spring break. I fucking love watching MTV. I remember I remember. a
Speaker: and god damn i want to go to daytona beach so i've never been to right yeah you didn't miss any i remember appeared in high school goal man i want to go to daytota Well, the funny thing is when I first moved here, when I first moved here, like two days before I left, I'm watching MTV and they had MTV spring break in Cancun and I'm like, but that's where I'm going. Yeah. And I got here and I was like, yeah, it's not the same, dude. I didn't realize that this spread the fuck out. This is bullshit. ah Exactly. I mean, I've heard tech, but I love I love that. But yeah, no I mean, that's kind of a little man. Another staple of our of our childhood. Can we add that to the death list? Because that's considered a death. I'm sorry. I did. I added them to my list and I get 20 points for it.
Speaker: No, I think we should share the points because we all well at least you and me should share the points fuck Connor because we grew up on that shit like we saw MTV in the 80s I get four points and you get one point That makes us tired. I'm okay with that We're just gonna we're just gonna we're just gonna share in the morning of losing another icon I think so ah thanks to you know, but I think I like not really want the **** news story more just wow. That's **** up story. That's like I'm mildly sad now, dude. Tell me got something to bring up my spirits. I'm I'm looking for a stool in a row. You have to go borrow from Jarvis. um What used?
Speaker: I'm just saying that's **** up. um'm I'm um genuinely sad, man. Great. We're current loaders out of a job, just saying. But you know what they replace you know what, MTV, I'm telling you now, you can replace it easily with what the fuck news. Yes. I'm putting this up for the application right now. This is our audition tape, buddy. All right, well, I'm about to...
Speaker: knock it out of the park with my two stories here. I'm ready. Well, Jeff, how would you feel about one of your neighbors running around the neighborhood naked, yelling and screaming? Well, I already do that. Yeah, I figured that as much. wait I have a question, man or woman. Man. Oh, I'm out. I'm gonna shoot him with a BB gun. Santa Monica, California, manicures terrorizing neighbors by defecating Republic hurrying hurling racial slurs all while nude. I applaud the nude part only because like that's ballsy because I know what I look like naked. Nobody wants to see that. Yeah.
Speaker: You know, uh, I'm naked in a racial slurs. That's yee. That's a good way to get shot. Yeah, that's the that's definitely one. Naked and erratic man has been wreaking havoc around his apartment building and leaving residents feeling terrified. However, I do a blood shitting on your neighbor's lawn. It's fertilizer. Relax. You got a shitty lawn. According to the report, an unidentified man has been reported to have been roaming around nude at all hours at the apartment complex in Santa Monica. The man has said to have harassed other residents, shouted racial slurs at them,
Speaker: as well as other obscenities, in addition to trashing his apartment and defecating in public areas of the building. Now I know where Connor is today. He's figured it out, buddy. Use those legs before surgery. One lady said that she has seen things being thrown out of his apartment. Like he's just,
Speaker: Not literally. Well, maybe literally. I mean, he could be flinging shit. You know what I'm saying? Like, he's just. Like, fuck this chair. Yeah, it just chucks it out the fucking window. I'm just saying, hey, you work an office job long enough. I'm just saying. Another witness said I've seen him defffi defecate in the parking stalls. Whatever he is. Well, you got to go. where You got to go. whatever Whatever he uses to wipe himself, he he brings it throughout here, whatever that means. Another lady said saw me much and another lady said he's called me slave, a bitch, the N word. And he told her that he was going to kill her. But at the end of the day, i naked is the only time you can really get away with it because who wants to fight the naked guy?
Speaker: Well, and this is where, this is where he should have been shot. This is, this is a place where he should have been shot apparently over, and this has been going on for quite some time now, but Memorial Day weekend, hip apparently there was a report where he was touching himself inappropriately in front of the neighborhood pool. And you know who likes to go to the pools? The little kids in the neighborhood. That's, this is true. so I'm just saying we're we're eventually going to get a story where naked man is shot by a pool. And here's the crazy thing. Well, I would have shot him right there. I would have shot him right where he stood if he was sitting there yanking his crank in front of my kids at the pool. Oh, 100%. I'm not going to fight him, but I'll beat him with a boulder. You know, just yeah ah apparently for e stonian the complex management has done
Speaker: nothing about it. They've just been like, we'll see shit. Hey, do you want to chase down a naked man? Forever? No, because you're forever known as that guy that chased the naked dude. Yeah, but I don't think he's like the greased up deaf guy from family. and I mean, maybe somebody got inspiration. But no, I think I think what you do is get one of those, you know, little cattle fri Yeah. Like the, oh i like the dude to catch wild dogs. Yeah. Stop dragging where I want you to go, motherfucker. Get in there. Get in there. No talking. No talking. Yeah. I'm sorry. Walmart sells BB guns, boys. I'm just saying. Yeah. Uh, yeah. Well, they're like 50 bucks. and and And that's the other thing for me. I think, all right, crazy naked guy running around the neighborhood.
Speaker: Why aren't the cops doing anything? A naked, I mean, if you and I walk down the, na if we, if we, if you go out and get your newspaper naked, you will get caught with a decent disclosure. It's California is probably one of those things where, where they're like, oh, we have to catch him in the act and they haven't caught him in the act. Motherfuckers naked. But, but me, If I got naked crazy guy running around my apartment complex and it's just being naked crazy guy, he's not touching himself in front of the kids, which again, that's an automatic death sentence in my opinion, as soon as you involve the kids, I'm sorry. And that's just, that's just a hill I'm going to die on. And I don't give a fuck what anybody says. If you're a pedophile, I'm with you.
Speaker: weird towards kids and you're touching yourself in front of kids. That's an automatic death sentence in my opinion. But if he's just weird, crazy, naked guy running around the neighborhood, shitting in the parking spots and, and. I'm going to cheer him on a little bit until he shits him. I'm going to go buy a paintball gun. Or BB gun out, you know. um No, cause the paintball gun would be so much funner because then he's going to run around looking like a rainbow leopard. Yeah, I'm not mad at that dude. Yeah. I just feel the hopper full of a bunch of multicolored, uh, paintballs. He's out there being, then he's then he's the pride guy. yeah Yeah. Yeah. He's instantly part of the LGBTQ the same. What up, Corey? How you doing, buddy? There's a crazy story in my town. Oh yeah. Feel free to drop it us. 14 year old runs away or missing for two weeks. Damn.
Speaker: I ran away once. I can Santa Monica. No, I'm just saying. Yeah. No, I'm just saying, like, I want to be on the porch just chilling. It would make you a guy comes running and and you know, you got the scope on it. You got to do that. You got to do that. Finger roll yeah that um kind of hate tells a, Oh, what's her name in that movie? Yeah. i'm I'm lighting them up. i man All right, man. Send it over. i Like I said, make a game of it. Whoever hits it most wins. You know, um ah you you get your neighbors involved. All right. Your blue team, your green team, your pink team. Yeah. Whoever's got him the most colors when he gets caught. Yeah. Anybody puts in like 20 bucks. So you know whoever's who evers got the most colors on him wins.
Speaker: Like, oh, I got three quarters of his body, paid or covered in blue. I win. yeah Give me the money. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I'm not mad at that. Yeah. You know, however, devil's advocate, I give the man props for running around naked. I don't, I couldn't do it, dude. I don't even walk around my, I don't even get out of the shower walk and walk from, alone in the house, I don't walk from my shower to my bedroom naked. Cause I've seen myself and I'm like, ooh. Yeah, but you know, and here's the other thing. here's Here's the other side. Here's the other side of the coin that kind of makes me feel bad for him clearly. He's got issues. Serious mental issues or he's, or you know, however, or or if I look like Brad Pitt in fight club, I would walk around naked.
Speaker: That motherfucker was cut like you read about. What was that movie that Bruce Willis was in but where he was like riding a skateboard naked down the road? Yeah, I think it was a Tarantino film. Really? Yeah, he was like banging this young Samoan chick and the brothers. like He was he was he's an investigator and he was hired to find her. That's only one part of this one part of the movie. No, I know. And he wound up, he was sleeping with her and and and her like four big Samoan brothers show up and he like jumps out the window, grabs his skateboard, and he's completely naked just skateboarding down the road. It's called vi Venice. Yeah, Venice. There it is. Yeah. and I don't think it is a Tarantino movie. Just Once Upon a Time in Venice is what it's called. Yeah. Good on him.
Speaker: got and it. And he's got a gun when he jumps out the window. So at one point, like his buddy who's a cop stops him, and he's like, holds his hand up and the camera spit pans around. He's got like this nine millimeter clutch.
Speaker: Yeah, but it's like, Bruce Willis does it, and you're like, that's cool. You do it. You're just a weird guy on a skateboard with a gun in your ass. That goes black. Skateboarding again. Fucking weirdo. Somebody give me my paintball gun. you know and that's It's not a good look if you and I do it. Bruce Willis does it. You're like, you know what? That dude's cool. you know yeah yeah it's It's one of those things. It's like, yeah.
Speaker: Naked dude walked down the street. I'm going in the other direction. Like I don't cross the street. Like, you know, you know how, when you, when you see somebody you're like, that's a scary dude on across the street. I see the naked guy. I'm just turning around and going home. Like I've never crossed the street for anybody. I'll walk past the biggest gang member you got. I don't care. But the naked dude, no, cause he's going to try to hug me or some shit. I just know. I think just, I think it's just random naked guy going for a stroll. Like everything's calm. come cool collective. yeah Weird guy. What is the hell is he doing? ah In California though, you're just like see erra wednesday all over the point you know running around being crazy, hurling racial ah slurs at people. and
Speaker: yeah
Speaker: I'm sitting on the balcony. Hey, Bob. I'm sitting on the balcony. I'm sitting on the balcony. I'm sitting on the balcony. I'm sitting on the balcony. I'm sitting on the balcony. I'm sitting on the balcony. I'm sitting on the balcony. I'm sitting on the balcony. I'm sitting on the balcony. I'm sitting on the balcony. I'm sitting on the balcony. I'm sitting on the balcony. I'm sitting on the balcony. I'm sitting on the balcony. I'm sitting on the balcony. I'm sitting on the balcony. there's gotta to be video this dude
Speaker: I'm sure there is. Because nowadays, if you fucking trip, somebody's got a video of it somewhere. I'm sure there is. But again, I'll save that for your algorithm. but No, I'm good. I'm good. No, because I was talking to somebody yesterday, and they they were walking and texting. And I was like, dude, you're going to end up in a fountain. And he's like, what are you talking about? I said, you've seen that video of that chick that was walking through the mall, texting you on her phone, and she ended up in a fucking fountain. That's going to be you. He's like, no, I'm like, yeah that's what that bitch said. And she ended up with a fuck about. It'll be fine. I seen a video. This is kind of what the fuck news is over in like Japan or China or Korea or some shit. There's this dude every evening. It was like a, it was a quote unquote dude founded endless money. Hey, hey.
Speaker: every evening, he goes and takes a snow shovel, gets in the local fountain after everybody's gone gone home and the stores are all closed. It's a tourist area. It just shovels all the money out in the buckets and then just they've caught him on seat. But technically I guess he's not doing anything illegal. Really? According to, according to the article in the, in the video, technically, uh, he's not doing anything illegal. um and and i And they said that like hundreds of hundreds ah hundreds upon hundreds of tourists every day come and throw coins. Well, it's like they're in, I think it's in, it's either in France or Venice. There's this giant fountain that everybody fucking throws coins in. And ever at the end of each week, they drain it and they have a crew come in and clean it because if not, it would be filled with coins already.
Speaker: Like, thousands of dollars get thrown in there every day because it's like a wishing fountain or some shit like that. And I'm like, you know, I wish they had that here because I would never be broke. I can leave here at 3 o 'clock in the morning to clean out a fountain. I got a wet suit around here somewhere. I'm just saying. But yeah, i I've seen that before, like certain places that that have those, it's illegal to get in there. They made it law. like what's What's that fucking movie with Dax Shepard's wife? Or not Dax Shepard's wife. It's Mila Kunis, isn't it? Dax Shepard's in it. I don't know. Oh, god. Danny DeVito's in it.
Speaker: um No, I think it's Dax Shepard's wife. uh oh my gosh so this is uh this is the story that that Corey said over this is kind of fucking crazy this is out in PA um this member remains found in uh June at a wildlife park went in Rome that's what it's called uh have been identified as those of a missing teen and a man has been charged in the homicide in connection to the case according to uh
Speaker: uh, Pennsylvania state police. Shut up dog. I'm doing nothing out there. Um, the man has been charged with criminal homicide in connection to the death of a 14 year old. Uh, state police said Wednesday that, uh, police took a report on June 25th for a missing 14 year old who had been, who had not been seen since the 22nd. That same day, officers were dispatched to an area um where dismembered remains were recovered. At that point, the case was turned over to Pennsylvania State Police. Over the next next week, more dis dismembered remains were recovered at various locations around the lake, according to PSP. The coroner confirmed that the remains were those of the missing te team.
Speaker: in a in the corner ruled the cause of death a sharp, sharp force trauma to the head and a manner of death homicide information. Sharp force like sharp isn't like a knife. Yeah, I was going to say, will you use a machete? ah By the way, Brian, that is not Harrison Ford's ride. Oh, that's John Milner. But supporting video surveillance indicated that the team walked to the area ah of the park and the canoe launch um and stayed there for about 40 minutes and then made a phone call and waited to meet someone near the canoe launch. Police say surveillance video identified the suspect vehicle and that same vehicle returned to Riverwalk apartments and showed a man later identified as blah, blah, blah, struggling to carry a large duffel bag on the 24th.
Speaker: I had several trips out of his apartment carrying multiple bags and garbage bags. Positive preliminary tests for blood were discovered at multiple locations in the suspect's apartment, including under the bathroom flooring. The suspect was arrested Tuesday and charged with criminal homicide. He's being held without bond. Holy crap, there's no more details. I'll wait to leave it hanging whatever news article that is. Why not just show that to Nikki? because I was going to say isn' that her that's like her backyard, man. Yeah, it really is. They said that they met on it the team and the guy met on a dating app. And that the book is a 14 year old doing on a dating app. I'll get to that. I was going to say that's bad there.
Speaker: Not that I'm blaming the parents. Anyway, on a little bit lighter note, Jesus. Way to bring it down. clickck Jesus Christ. name man You know what? We, we encourage, we encourage the chatter's box to partake in the show and uh, they sent that over. That's wild though. So the the teenage boy wanted to be a girl. Did the guy kill him because he thought he was meeting up with a 14 year old girl. And then it was like, cause it was a grown adult. ah He's like, whoa, little girl, you got a penis. Yeah. that's Not cool, man. Not cool.
Speaker: I'm just saying that guy needs to be more woke. It's 2024. Ah, nice, Brian. Nice. Where do I go from here? yeah um The only place we can go from here is up, let me tell you. but so let's so Let's go mountain climbing. Ah, I love mountain climbing. I won't do it. I like the idea. Mount Everest was turned into a fight night. Nice. Uh, two couples were filmed fighting with each other at an observation deck in Tibet, allegedly to secure the best selfie spot while attempting to climb Mount Everest. I guess there's like, I guess there's a spot on Mount Everest that is like the perfect selfie spot. You know, people line up.
Speaker: um Okay. To go to this observation deck and take selfies. So it's like, you know, common courtesy, taking pictures, chop, chop, move along, get thrown off the fucking mountain, whatever the case may be. Yes. The incident took, took place, uh, last week after a tour guide asked the group to pose together on the viewing platform next to Everest.
Speaker: elevation measurement monument for a photo. The footage showed two couples, reportedly Chinese, arguing over who would get to stand where. I'm not surprised this Asian dude's arguing about it. According to the video, the two men are seen punching each other while they rush on the floor. One of the women can be seen trying to pull one of the men away while the other woman joined in and started kicking the other man. Nice! That's a ride or die bitch right there, boy. Let me tell you. up I should have threw up our breaking news thing for that, Corey. I forgot we have a little breaking news banner. I gotta get breaking news and news, but, but, um but when this is told local media that the couples disagreed on the best spot for the photo and the argument escalated from a verbal spat to a brawl.
Speaker: Shortly after the Everest border police arrived and the scene broke up the fight, blah, blah, blah. It was not immediately clear if any of the people involved in the fight were injured. All four were taken into custody though, and later tossed off the side of the mountain. So we'll never. That's a hell of a selfie. he got black high I fucking got the first selfie. I'm sorry. Wait your fucking turn. I think that's the best way to deal with criminal activity. If you're the Mount Everest police is just like, all right, you fucked up kind of like, tell so nice they take it for a transportation.
Speaker: They they take them to a walk them mountain they take them to an observation deck two and just see people die every day but that Did you see the video I sent you uh i don't know if i i don't think you would have watched it there's there's a there's a let's it's like a big tower and it goes over a river and you it's if you do a it's not a bungee it's a swing and they they harness you out hooked up to this rope and then it swings you out and they do it in the dark darkness and this girl and you know they got the guy he pulls the rip cord kind of thing and this girl's like pull the lever crunk and she he does it and as she's falling she's like no
Speaker: Oh, I was like, that's genius. I wouldn't have thought of that, but God damn it. That's genius. I'll have to see if I can find it. Yeah. So we'll meet and reported that an investigation is being conducted into the case. Um, and, uh, we'll be considered keeping legal procedures in a mind and update will be provided later. So we might, we might have to pull a little richer. I know one of them motherfuckers not back there whistling at me. is always me. What's up? It's me. Austin's, they're going to go watch fireworks and they were going to meet here. I sound like somebody was whistling out there. with me i'm trying to go
Speaker: yeah come back here bit That's my excuse for everything. I was very good to go. but don't wo um
Speaker: but Yes What the fuck news is every Wednesday night Monday night is men camperman Tuesday nights is Jeff's garage Wednesday nights is what the fuck news Thursday nights is talking shit Fridays is Glick's house of music ah Saturdays is nonsensical nonsense and Sundays is a sports show that's up and that's still in the works that will be hosted by Jera Vichy
Speaker: I know I hate that, but you can go to a YouTube, Cory. We're on YouTube. You can make a small window on YouTube and we're on Twitch as well. Yeah. Um, yeah. So we'll, I have to come back to that story down the road and just kind of do a quick, uh, follow up as a quick quick little, quick little follow up. Um, I'm laughing at my own stories here. Actually, you know what? We'll do this one since we're, Um, over in, uh, old Sri Lanka. Oh yeah. It's, it's, it's somewhere in Asia. I don't know. I don't know where that's at some other country. Um,
Speaker: Jeff, let me ask you something real quick. Sure. so If you're wandering along, like on a hiking trail or walking down the sidewalk or out on a boat.
Speaker: And there's a bottle of a mysterious liquid on the ground. yeah Are you going to pick it up and drink it? Oh God, no, because I, I'm, I've seen the videos of kids, you know, I was that kid back in the eighties that would piss in a bottle, throw it out the window. Appreciate you stopping by. I love it. Have a good night. Appreciate you. Yeah, exactly. You know, you're not going to, well, never in Sri Lanka. At least five fishermen are dead after drinking contents of a bottle found at sea.
Speaker: I, in that kind of sea rule, number one, don't drink the water that's coming in a floating bottle. What's up. Welcome back. Right. Like. Uh, I, I, you know, I gotta say, uh, you know, I'm with you and I think most people with common sense are going to be on the same page with us. You're not going to see a mysterious bottle floating in the water or laying on the ground and pick it up and be like, Oh, look, shit vodka. We're good. Yeah. We're safe. Uh, so yeah, at least, at least five Sri Lankan fishermen have tragically lost their lives and three more and three more are in critical condition.
Speaker: a what like I can see eight dudes go, I dare you to **** drink it. Yeah. But let's all take a **** drink. I'm out, dude. No, that's not friends. Eight, eight fishermen on boat. Like, oh, I wonder what's in that bottle floating down, floating out in the ocean. Oh, you guys want to drink it? ever Uh, now I could, I could see, you know, you find the bottle, eight of us are sitting around and you just accidentally poured into our glasses as a fuck you joke. But that's a possibility. I'm not going to pour a mysterious liquid that I don't know. As a joke. Yeah. That'd be funny. or Not even as a joke. I mean, that if we're all hanging out together.
Speaker: And I find a bottle laid on the ground and I have no idea what's inside of it. I'm not going to be like, Oh, i want no, but that's what I think must've happened. Cause it's not like they cracked over the bottom. It was like, Hey, it's good. Try it. You know? well And again, I say people with common sense are not going to go, Hey, this is fun joke. I'm going to pour a drink for everybody. Yeah. I don't know. It's not, it's not Joan, Joanstown is they're not drinking the fucking Kool -Aid or were they? maybe Maybe it's just not as, I bet you it's gotta to be like a cleanliness thing. Like like Sri Lanka is so clean, they don't normally see shit like that. I don't know anything about Sri Lanka. I don't either. Oh, then it's kind of a fun word to say. It is. But isn't this the same um and this the same place that we talked about during COVID where where where cab drivers were growing vegetables on the roof of their cabs?
Speaker: No, that was like Tokyo or something shit like that. I thought it was India. Oh, I don't know. Maybe it wasn't. I don't know. I don't remember. That was a long time ago, man. Exactly. what are yeah but The Sri Lankan Navy recently reported that at least five fishermen and dive after consuming an unknown liquid from bottles they found at sea. Around three hundred and twenty two nautical or twenty nautical miles from Tagali. Maybe I'm sorry. a town on the southern coast of Sri Lanka. It's unclear how many of these mysterious bottles were found floating out at sea, but the Navy spokesperson told journalists that they contained some sort of alcohol. Ah, there it is. Like, oh, ah you know, you sunken treasure kind of thing. I get that. ah gay Like when Titanic went down, there was a bunch of champagne that never resurfaced kind of thing. Yeah, but.
Speaker: But like floating, yeah, I'm out dude. um The bottles were shared among the sailors of the fishing vessel named Devin. And before long, some of them started feeling sick. Despite receiving rudimentary assistance on the boat from Sri Lanka Navy medical personnel, at least five of the fishermen have died and the others are in critical condition. Unfortunately, the crew is believed to have shared those mysterious bottles with other boats.
Speaker: I hope those fishermen were not. Bill Engle said it best, buddy. You can't fix stupid. You cannot fix stupid. Agreed. The tragic incident prompted protests in the coastal town of Tingali where the families of the dead sailors blame the Sri Lankan Department of Fisheries and Aquatic Researches for the incident. And those of the other fishermen called for them to be brought back to land to get proper treatment. Meanwhile, Sri Lankan authorities have been scrambling to prevent further deaths due to the mysterious bottles. How can you blame the government? Yeah, you can't blame the government because you're stupid enough right from a floating boat. Yeah.
Speaker: Two other sick fishermen believed to consume the toxic content of the bottles were taken aboard a Singaporean merchant ship and were given emergency treatment. But it is unclear how many bottles were originally found by the crew of the Devon and how many other people they were shared to. The Navy has been making efforts to contact all ships the Devon's crew has interacted with since they said so. They're all fucking dead. June 4th. They're all fucking dead. As of right now, authorities are still investigating the contents of the mysterious bottles in order to understand what is killing people who consume them. I don't know, poison, toxins, bacteria. Yeah. I mean.
Speaker: Like again, I say, you know, normal, logical thinking people are not going to see a bottle floating in the water full of some mysterious liquid and be like, Oh, we're on the street or in the woods and be like, Oh, I should drink this. Yeah. By the way, like, if you're still watching and and I found that clip, uh, this bungee thing that I was talking about, it's in Scotland. you got this code play Yeah, here it's I'm not gonna play the whole thing but check this out no one no one and don know my do you want a sp surpriseer coate though I'm in buddy. Let's go do it in the hell. Fuck you
Speaker: They have ones that during daylight as well, if you want, if you prefer. I kind of like the idea of going out into nothingness. But she said, pull the lever, crunk! I saw that. ilaed I laughed. I laughed. My kids and I, we love that move. I may have seen it like 400 ,000 times. She said, pull the lever, crunk!
Speaker: Yeah, I'm kind of with you though. I'm kind of with you. yeah My luck, I'll be the one asshole the rope breaks. Like I went bungee jumping once and it scared the shit out. That'd be my lucky day. Hashtag worth it.
Speaker: like but but but fucking Fucking rope snaps. I don't see anything except the rope bounce back up and spot. Hey Jeff, it's not the fall that kills you. Remember? It's that sudden stop at the end of anyways. Um, we'll take a little break a little early here and then we'll come back and I got a few more stories here and we'll, we'll, we'll get through them and wrap up the show. Um,
Speaker: I told you, I got at least, I got at least one patriotic song. All right. Fourth of July is red, white. Um, our guys are at the Southern outlaws band. They did a cover of Leonard Skinner's red, white, and blue. Check out the Southern outlaws band on all social media, wherever you stream music at the Southern outlaws band. Go show them some love. Let them know we sent you. It'd be great. And I appreciate their hell of a band, especially if you're a fan of the old school Southern rock, you'll like them. We'll be back here in just a few minutes. Here's our cover of red, white and blue.
Speaker: We don't have no plastic L .A. friends Ain't on the edge of no popular trend Ain't never seen the inside of that magazine DQ We don't care if you a lawyer or a Texas old man Some waitress bustin' ass or some liquor stand You got soul and now people just die high too My head's third and white That's always been red
Speaker: We've always been here trying to sing the truth. Yeah. We've always been Playin' on white shirts, payin' room dues Smokin' cameras, drinkin' a message If you wanna know where I've been, look at my hands Cryin' by the white house, fixin' time to jail Mama cried, still wouldn't pay my bills I ain't been nowhere, but even God can understand My head's turnin' white, that's always been red
Speaker: We've always been here, practicing the truth. Yeah, we've always been here.
Speaker: So our tarts, so our vials Paint our tacks, we gave our lives Service, great country, what they complain about We loved our families, we loved our kids You know it's love that makes a man so rich And that's where it's at, if they don't like it, they can just get the hell out of our heads and turn them white There's always been a risk All the simple forms we've been used to trying to think the truth
Speaker: That's a good song. we The Southern Outlaws band with their cover of Leonard Skinner's red, white, and blue, probably one of my favorite Skinner songs. And they absolutely freaking killed that call. They knocked it out the park. i And Arliss has got a crazy, crazy story behind how they, how they got permission to do that cover, not like that, but they've never made a penny off of it because they donate every penny that they make off that song. um
Speaker: Good guys, man. Go check out. They're better than I am. and If you haven't already, go jump on Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts at and play that episode of Glick's House of Music when I had the Southern Outlaws band on there. Those guys were fun. It's a long one, but it was a fun show. It was funny, though. Welcome back to What the Fuck News, everybody. He's Jeff. I'm Glick. We're half of the normal hat of but of what the fuck news, but we're the most important half at the end of the day. Exactly. You know, the heads to their tails. I'm just saying. Yes. At the end of the day, hopefully you guys are enjoying the show so far. We're talking about news that makes us say what the fuck. And if it makes us say what the fuck, more than likely you're going to say what the fuck as well. Go ahead. We're the crazy ones. Yeah. Go ahead and check out the rest of the network. We are on all the social medias, Facebook, Instagram, X and TikTok.
Speaker: We also to do shows Monday through Sunday on YouTube, Twitch, X, and Facebook. You can watch us live. You can jump in the chatters box, shoot your shit with us, interact with us. We love that. And you can listen to us anytime, any place, wherever you listen to podcasts at all at the nonsense school network, or you can simply go to bio dot .link slash nonsensical network. It's scrolling right down there at the bottom of your screen, the entire show, just in case you forget where it is. You guys know the drill. Give us a follow up. Give us a light. Give us a listen. and If you'd be so kind, give us a share. We greatly appreciate that. What's going on? Hand of C's. What's going on with you, man? God bless America. Amen to that. Simple. Jack is in the building. hey There he is. I have a mission. This week, I almost got tired of winning. Hashtag Trump 2024.
Speaker: Then I slipped my Trump shoes on and looked up at the poll numbers and said, hell no. I want a pair of those Trump shoes too. So much more winning to come. you as a USA The looking half. Amen. And not in a gay way. Benji what's going on with your brother? Don't smile.
Speaker: Benji coming, or not Benji, simple Jack coming in on fire. Slipped on my Trump shoes and looked up at the poll numbers and said, hell nah, not on America's birthday. Exactly. but
Speaker: Anyways, we are back. We're talking what the fuck news. What are you doing over there, Jeff? I'm actually trying to find the video. I have a video of me bungee jumping because it, Everybody makes fun of me for it because Chris, if you fell off something, as high up to go bungee jumping, what do you do? Shit my pants and die of a heart attack. Well, besides that, you flail around trying to grab something. That's what I did. I imagine I would look like if a manatee had arms and legs. ah and And it was stuck on its back on the beach. I imagine that's what I would look like. oh
Speaker: No, because I like I remember seeing it. It's it's in my. Be earned by my. but Google photo album. But I just don't remember what it was. I know Tony was pregnant with Michelle, so I'll find it later. But if I can find it, I'll show it to you guys one day. but Maybe you you can find it by Saturday. like like I'm not great with heights. And jumping on a perfectly good platform,
Speaker: you know, like three stories up is not natural. Just like jumping out on an airplane. I do the same thing out every time I have to jump off something, I tell the person, push me, because I won't go. And so dude pushes me and I do one of these all the way down. And then got made fun of forever. I'm like, yeah, but I didn't see you fuckers go up there. I didn't see you sons of bitches do it. Yeah. Well, anyways, these are probably my three favorite stories of the night. Oh, we, we, we, we, we've talked about our feelings about squatters, you know, people who, you know, like, like the snowbirds down in Florida, you know, they buy a property, they buy a house and then they come back home for the summer. I know somebody squatted in their house and then but all this bullshit of squatter rights. And I don't think squatters should have rights. I agree. I agree. I think you should be able to shoot them. How many, I don't know how many fedies or how many crimes were committed B and E.
Speaker: Uh, vandalism, passing I think, I think if I show up at my vacation home and there's some dude on my couch, well, and this is my house. And I go, well, Dean says it's my house. Agreed. Castle grounds or castle ruling, whatever it is. Hashtag stand my ground. Hashtag not today, motherfucker. ah put Hashtag fuck around and find out. yeah ah Hashtag not on America's birthday, baby. but Yeah. Hashtag hollow point.
Speaker: Hashtag Smith and Wesson, you know, that's, you know, we, you know, as homeowners and whatnot, we we lose our rights. And I think it's bullshit. I agree with these squatters. And and I'm a firm believer that if if somebody's in my house and they shouldn't be in their house, well, you're going out on your own two feet or you're going out in a body bag. I agree. Those are the option A or option B. I think I think if florida you might be able to get away with shooting them because it's Florida. I think we get away with it in Ohio too, because Ohio has stand your ground in the. Well, like I actually saw a story about this, this lady, she inherited some land and she's like, Oh, great. I'm set. I don't have to worry about my retirement. I got, I can put something on there and get some income. Apparently 24 RVs are parked there with a bunch of spotters. And I was like, you know what? Stick a dynamite to fix that. Right. You know, they'll leave. Well,
Speaker: Um, one man is, is, is being praised for hitting, I read his story, hitting squatters with the old Udo reverse car. A man is being, is being praised for playing squatters at their own game after they moved into his home and refuse to leave rather than dragging out their stay and force it and force them to leave his home. Um, um, The man has been hailed as hailed for outsmarting squatters. They took over his property and refused the budget. The man who worked for a property management company shared on Reddit how a tenant had permitted his friends to move into the house. And then they had stayed long enough to claim squatters rights. Okay. Uh, despite attempts to negotiate their departure, the group stubbornly insisted on taking the legal route.
Speaker: He wrote on Reddit, I worked for a managed, i I worked for managed properties out of California where we were located. A tenant allowed friends to move in and then vacated after his friends had lived there for a while. We tried to negotiate these douches, these douches decided they wanted us to go the legal route. Instead, we found the biggest son of a bitch we could, fight we could hire. We have him a fresh lease with his name on it, a 36 pack of course pizza takeout and keys. And he was instructed to sit on their couch, watch their TV and get comfy.
Speaker: When the friend group returned home and discovered the strangers sitting on their sofa, they firmly told him to leave. However, he stood in his ground and told them to call the police if they wished. He continued, he wasn't moving. He told them to go ahead and call the police. They did. The police told them that he was legally allowed to be there because tenants have stronger rights than owners in this area. They were out within a week while we paid him to be an absolute nuisance. I'm in on the post. One user. This honestly sounds like a fun job. Like I'm in dude, hired like, like me, the biggest asshole he could exactly. I'm like, Hey, click. I got a job for you. It comes with beer. Yeah. We got beer. We got pizza. Here's 1500 sports center. Yeah. Yeah. And here's 1500 bucks. Get these motherfuckers out of my house. What do I got to do? Just be an act there.
Speaker: cool. I'm in. So and ah another chimed in with a personal antidote. The smelly tramp routine, a software house I worked in for I worked in in the early 80s, dealt with non payers by having a colleague where stinky clothes sit in the client's lobby with an invoice and refuse to leave until they pay.
Speaker: ah Just I love it. I love the, you know, reverse card, man. Hold on. that i That's, that's, and well, that's the thing. That's the Scott squatters rights thing. You have to be there like so many months and, and the legal system is a fucking joke with this shit. I get it. Nobody wants to be, nobody wants anybody to go homeless, but you're stealing. You're yeah, you're, you're stealing. You are breaking in.
Speaker: to my property. Yeah, you're trespassing.
Speaker: Hey, Dickey and I have joked about that. We're just going to go find a mansion that nobody's been in in a while. Right? prove it Fucking take it. I can't believe the rights that squatters have. It's it's ah it's ridiculous. You go move in. yeah Yeah. I mean, at the end of the day, you know, you spend, well, in this economy, you spend, what, $250 minimum? $1 ,000 on a house, even if it's a fucking shithole, because for 250 grand, that's a shithole. I'm not always depending on where you are. Not in California. Dude, maybe it' wa California lately, but like, quote unquote, skid row, you got all these homeless fentanyl addicts, like right outside of these fucking million dollar condos. People are coming in and out of the garage and like these.
Speaker: $400 ,000 cars and the whole entire street is just lined up with homeless. Well, and that's what I'm saying. You got a four, ah you got, you're driving a $400 ,000 car. You got a million dollar place and somebody just comes in and takes it and you can't do shit. You know, I'd get really good insurance and burn the motherfucker down. and Like simple Jack said, you move in when they leave, you change the locks. What legal docs do they have to say you are squatting? time a comment has tip choosing the ranch dressing.
Speaker: I don't have a lease and don't pay her. It's called squatter rights. Once you've stayed in a place so long, you're getting mail there, then you're you can claim residency. Yeah, and that's 30 days. Takes 30 days to change your mailing address. I don't take that long. All I got to do is go out of the office, put a forwarding address in and then start having mails. You know, all my mail is yeah you mail yourself stuff. Yeah. So, I mean, it, at every state is different on, on like Florida is starting to crack down on a big ups to Florida. Like they've, they've, they've had enough with like around their cracker fucking skulls, man. Hey, um'm I'm with that's the other job I want.
Speaker: I'll get them out. But once again, once again, you get really good fire insurance and you burn that motherfucker down and blame it on the squatters. There is that too. Uh, the average home price in the United States was $495 ,100. All right. Love you too. Have fun. Take a quarter 23. ah There you go.
Speaker: Maybe that's where we're coming in tonight. We haven't even touched on that. i if i remember yeah out But yeah, I mean down in Florida, they're really starting to crack. Florida used to be really bad with squatters rights. Now they're cracking down on them and they're like basically saying, yeah, go in there and crack them in the fucking head with a ball bat. Am I wrong in saying Florida is the new Texas?
Speaker: Like Texas was always that, that they were, they were like the Kings of Stand Your Ground. Now Florida's like, hold by me. I got this. Hold my alligator while Rob is winning. Florida is, Florida is its own creature, its own entity. Uh, but they've, they've been known for years for the whole Stand Your Ground thing. Texas is just an open carry state where people think they're hardasses because they're from Texas. Yeah. 95 % of the Texas are Texas. Yeah. We're talking to you, Brian. Yeah. 95 % of the state is illegal, is illegal immigrants from Mexico. So nobody cares about Texas. Calm down. ah Yeah, the the the takeaway, the average annual salary in the US is 63 ,000 almost. It was 67 on there. But, but check this out. Speaking of Florida, Florida being Florida. I seen a video. It was like the difference between the United States and, and Canada.
Speaker: And it was the cops in Canada. They're like, people are breaking into your homes because they want your cars. So just leave your move your key fob next to the door. Yeah. So, but and then it goes to a clip of, uh, I believe Grady Judd down in Florida, the great Grady Judd down in Florida, or it might've been a real champ. Let's be honest. there's goes to ta Another share about in Georgia. I think I can't remember which one it was, but he was like, somebody comes in your house. Somebody breaks in your house. sure it Shoot them. You won't be in trouble. we Yeah. You're like, we like guns in America and we encourage our residents to have guns and we encourage our yeah our residents to know how to use those guns. And at the end of the day, you're going to be doing the taxpayers a favor and saving us a lot of money. If you just shoot them and don't worry, we'll come get them for you yeah for free. Yeah. ah There you go. And I'm like, you know what? That's that one advantage of living in Florida right there.
Speaker: I mean, the only advantage really, but but a lot of states are going, I mean, Ohio, Ohio has stand your ground. Now we have the, we have the castle doctrine now. And I, and I love that law because that is any property that is yours. So if somebody's in my car and I quote unquote, bust a cap in their ass, it's justified because that is my personal property. And once you open that door and enter it, I have every right to protect it by any means necessary. necessary and And I'm sorry. I'm not going to leave my key fob next to the door. I'm going to put it on the opposite side of the house. And as soon as you break in, Alexis starts playing, let the bodies hit the floor and the whole room turns red. you bring them play a game You break in and hear that distinct sound of a bulldog. And I'm not talking of the four legged animal. anymore Click, click. talking that similar You guys like Nirvana? Click, click, boom, baby.
Speaker: I'm talking about that fucking semi -automatic 12 -gauge shotgun that has a 20 -round magazine on it. I'm just saying, you gotta be dumb. to listen to Canadian law going, yeah, just leave your key file by the, fuck you. I paid money for this fucking thing. I don't care if I got in insurance or not. You want to take it. You better take me out first. Simple Jay. Yeah, no, exactly. No, you ain't taking my shit. I, you know, I might not have a big fancy house and a nice fancy car, but everything I've got, ah I've worked my ass for. Bust my ass for it. Yeah. And I'll bust my ass to keep it or I'm going to bust your ass. Like I said, we can play dealer's choice if you break in my house. Yeah. i got
Speaker: I can start with old Smith and Wesson. I got a machete. I got a ball bat. Well, down but eight pound belts. but but but I always tell somebody, you know, I, I, I live by one philosophy. You break into my house, either you're going to die or I'm going to die. But somebody's dying tonight. Exactly. You know, I may not be the biggest motherfucker in the world, but you try to take my shit. hey You about, you're going to learn the phrase of fuck around and find out. This is a great thing about having equalizers at your disposal. Exactly. I got a machete that's, that's almost three foot long. Let's play a game. And it's sharp motherfucker boy. That thing looks at a piece of paper. It splits.
Speaker: I got a brand new fucking bench grinder. I'll sharpen up while I'm waiting for you. Come on in.
Speaker: Yeah, exactly. You learn. I learned this from the cartel. Let me show you something. Yeah, exactly. Machete 50 gallon drum. Yeah. Bat of acid. Let's play a game. Yeah. My neighbor learned that game. Just saying.
Speaker: I don't think anybody has the balls to break in my house anymore. Not after that. Right. Yeah. yeah Let's not fuck with a little white guy. yeah right people got um yeah Anywho, big ups to the guy out in California for hitting the squatters with the old Uno reverse car. I've actually heard a story like that, like that a guy actually started a service that he would do that. Yeah. I'm down. New job. you know, you want me to do what? oh I mean, at the end of the day, that's a job that like it's not it's recession proof, you know,
Speaker: 50 bucks case of beer and all the pizza I can eat. Yeah, I can travel. What do we fucking leave? order i You know, a few months in the Carolinas, head out west, you know, whatever. What do we well, Jeffrey, I already know the answer to this question, but
Speaker: Were you in your younger days? Were you a fan of, or did you ever have sexual relations in a vehicle?
Speaker: Got kicked out of school for it, but okay, yeah. Simple yes or no. Yeah, I won't go to detail, but yeah. Well, andbe you got springs in my day yeah Geico recently got sued.
Speaker: i Geico car insurance. Yeah. Oh, I know. but Easy enough. A caveman can use. Yeah. Women demands Geico to pay her $5 .2 million dollars after she gets an STD in her partner's car.
Speaker: Yeah. I'm pretty sure that lawsuit is going to get thrown out. I'm no law expert. A federal a federal appeals court on Wednesday heard arguments over whether a car insurance whether car insurance should pay out benefits to a woman who caught a sexually transmitted disease from a policy holder in his insured vehicle. And that's called bumper to bumper, baby. And and and Geico general, uh, insurance company versus, uh, uh, MO, uh, a Missouri woman, uh, claims that her partner, Martin Bronner neglect, uh, uh,
Speaker: neglected, or negligently, sorry, infected her with the human papillomavirus HPV. After they, after they had sex in his 2014 Honda Genesis, she claims, you gotta have sex, you gotta have sex in the Honda, okay. She claims Bronner was aware he had HPV, but neglected to inform her before they had unprotected sex. resulting in past and you're in a car, go to fucking pharmacy. Yeah. Uh, it resulted in past and future medical expenses. And, and we got to always throw this one in mental, obviously ah there's physical pain, but mental pain and suffering court documents state.
Speaker: I'm sorry, that one right near it into there needs to, that's null and void. That needs to stop because it's unmeasurable. So the the claim was initially filed in February of 2021 against Bronner and his insurer, Maryland based Geico claiming she should be compensated for bodily injury under the insurance policy. Geico refused to pay the claim arguing the injury did not occur in normal use of the automobile. And March of 2023, the U .S. District Judge Fernando Guyton Jr. gave a favorable favorable ruling to Guyco. Upon review of the party's arguments, um the court finds that consensual consensual sexual relations inside a car do not constitute a use use of the automobile within the meaning of the subject policy the judge wrote in his decision. I agree.
Speaker: But the victim, a brother appealed the eighth circuit to have the district court's decision reversed. The couple contends that the language of Bronner's insurance policy is so broad as to justify her bodily injury claims stemming from her HPV infection and the subsequent development of brain cancer. The brief cites how a Missouri arbitrator awarded 5 .2 million from Bronner after finding him liable for negligence. So the guy that fucked her? Or his insurance company?
Speaker: No, they said that that the the Missouri arbitrator awarded the ah the areor victim the victim from from the guy and us and Geico after finding him. Oh, got got the the agent. The agent. the agency, the the guy who gave her the HPV and Geico were liable to pay $5 .2 billion for negligence. ah The victim and Bronner engaged in sexual activity in Bronner's 2014 hotogenesis at least once, as of December of 2017, the victim claims that Bronner neglected,
Speaker: ugh, failed to tell her that he had that he was infected with HPV and failed to use adequate protection to take proper precautions to prevent its transmission. um so is so even not fuck without a condom dumbasss Even if you're having consensual sex, all right, I'm going to go ahead and put this on. I don't care what the situation is. If you think you should choose protection, that should fall on both parties. It's not man's it's not just our responsibility, ladies, to have protection. Most cases, most guys who are responsible, we haven't, whether we have anything or not. But
Speaker: If you want to use it, you have to speak up and you should be just as responsible to. I would say they're already in the fucking car. The pharmacy's right down the fucking road. You can fuck in the back of the pharmacy bargaining lot if you want. Yeah. But, uh, but under Geico's policy, bodily injury means bodily injury to a person, including resulting and sickness, disease, or death. How much you want to bet. If you check your Geico statement right now, your contract's been changed.
Speaker: Because that's a loophole a lot of people are going to try to exploit. yeah the couple I got pregnant because I fucked my dude in a fucking Escalade. And now I have this expense. I want $10 billion or $10 billion. Yeah, the couple asserted that since brought Bronner's insurance policy is issued was issued in Kansas, any ambiguity in the policy should be decided in favor of the insurance according to the state law. If policy is ambiguous, the Kansas law requires it to be interpreted in favor of Bronner and coverage. Attorneys for Geico disagree. The auto policy does not cover liability for injury caused by the transmission of a sexual sexually transmitted disease merely on the basis that is that a covered vehicle was used as shelter for or as
Speaker: The situs of sexual activity, Geico wrote in his brief. Geico now they're going to have coverage for that. Yeah. They're going to have a loophole. That loop won't be closed. Oh yeah. Uh, so it goes on, you know, three judge panel consisted of us. Since your judges, uh, Steven Colton, Michael, Mel Molloy and Raymond Gruder, uh, heard these arguments in court Wednesday. This was this past Wednesday. The judges, the judge, judges question the victims, the victim, uh, attorney, David Mayer, whether his client argument would make Geico responsible for every unwanted pregnancy that might have a. tea i be I don't believe that sex, a lot of vehicles. yeah So, you know, I have two kids because of it. I'm just saying.
Speaker: I don't believe that that's the cause of action, but that's a good question. Mayor responded. He suggested that pregnancies may not be totally angry. What? STDs. Nice. But STDs. Put in the trunk! Put in the trunk!
Speaker: Yeah, dude, I hate frivolous lawsuits like that. Take responsibility, bitch. You fucked a stranger. Yeah. And, and let's be honest, he was a dude. He's not going to risk getting laid by like, Hey, I might, or might not have a weird disease because let's be honest, not all guys are standup dudes.
Speaker: So they went, but you know, they went back and forth arguing some and and the this and the that, um, uh, you know, uh, you know, uh, Her, her lawyer said this is bodily injury. This poor lady received cancer and it's terrible. It's a bad situation. He said, um, Geico attorney Douglas Beck told the court insurance policy should only apply when using an automobile as an automobile for vehicular purposes. He pointed to a case to case law in Kansas that denied people coverage for injuries that were not identifiable with normal use of a auto
Speaker: Um, of course, second what if the car's driving down the road. Well, it might be a different story. Like you're driving and I'm working with somebody in the back and I get her pregnant. I'm just saying we can all clean up.
Speaker: But they argued back and forth semantics and definitions and blah, blah, blah, blah. That everything's negotiable apparently. Yeah. Uh, the, uh, The arguments concluded, right now, we' we're kind of, where do we go from here? Because there was no indication of when the panel may issue a decision. Oh, so she hasn't been fully awarded the money? Not yet. I don't think she should. I don't think she should. I don't i don't think she should either. No. No. At the end of the day, close your legs, Logan. Yeah. Just say no. Just say no.
Speaker: Stop fucking random dudes. Well, I mean, there's nothing to say that it was a random dude. I get it right now. There's no update on. But as of right now, she was awarded 5 .2 million. Really? She's got brain cancer, but she's going to be dead in a few months. Just don't pay her. Yeah. Well, here's my other thing. I wonder if that dude's premiums went up. but Like after accident, your premiums go up. I feel it's safe to say that Geico probably dropped it. Oh, yeah.
Speaker: i actually have I actually have a little quickie story. um Speaking of contracts, ah Chris, when you sign up for an app or you get something, do you read the terms of service all the way through? Nobody does. Well, you're kind of wrong. There is a lady. that reads, meticulously reads the terms of service. And I think it was last month, she was signing up for some thing, not an app or anything, it was like she had an actual physical paperwork in front of her, and she's reading through the terms of service. And this company said, you know what, I wonder how many people, a couple months back before they wrote up this contract for people to start signing, the guy writing was like, I wonder,
Speaker: who actually reads the terms of service. So they put something in the contract very low, very far down that was like fine print kind of thing. Then if anybody reads this, email this email address and you will receive a check of $10 ,000. And this lady was like, you know, this company has been around for like 15, 20 years. And she's like, oh, nobody's done or somebody's done that already. She sends in the email. Hey, I read in your terms of service they that if I email this email saying I read the terms of service all the way through and I get 10, they gave her a check for $10 ,000.
Speaker: I was kind of impressed with that. I was like, you know what? I'm not mad. $10 ,000 terms of service.
Speaker: yeah ah So here's the here's the article. um When not reading the fine print can cost you your soul. So this is a school teacher, Georgia high school teacher ah Delane Andrews won $10 ,000 reward after she closely closely read the terms and conditions of a travel insurance policy she purchased ah for a trip to England. ah The Florida insurance company had inserted language promising the reward of the first person to email the company. We understood most customers don't actually read the contract ah ah in terms of service.
Speaker: So we said, I wonder who many people does. This company has been in business for 22 years with 22 ,000 plus people signing the terms of service. And she's just the only one in 22 ,000 plus that actually read the terms of service and she got 10 grand. Nice. Hey, that's a win.
Speaker: So I'm just saying, I'm not mad at it. I'm not, I'm not going to read my terms of service. I'm sorry, but you know, I'm just saying, cause I don't have 14 days every time I download a fucking app. Yeah. We got one last real quick story here. We're going to button this. We're going to button it up a little early. That's good. I'm okay with it. Yeah. We're going to, we're going to button it up a little bit earlier. I got a dog that's freaking out here. That's 4th of July. They're going to be setting off fireworks here in about 15 minutes or so. So I want to make sure I'm out of here. and I can contend with her because she's already up. That'll be fun. She's she's literally up my ass right now. Anyways, so Jeff.
Speaker: normal Wednesday. Yeah, go ahead. you you can use it Yeah, right. a You you know, and I've had them as well. But we, you know, everybody's had a bad date from time to time. Oh, good God. Yes. You know, just real quick, what's some of the things that you've done to get out of the day, you know, just like if you're, you know, just a bad date and you're like, yeah, man, I'm not feeling it. Oh, I've literally texted friends and be like, dude, call me. Tell me there's a fucking emergency and they'll just go and this is me gone. Hey, oh, my God. She's she's having the baby now. You know, I got to go. You know, my wife's pregnant. Trust me, they they don't call back on that one.
Speaker: But yeah, i shit like that. Nothing crazy. I faked diarrhea once. Nice. ive never I've never had anybody like climb out the window one or anything. i Yeah, know we I think diarrhea once and then about two hours later, I heard a voice from behind me while I was at the bar with a couple of buddies go, how's your stomach? Well, this alcohol is helping. Yeah. Oh, you're so much pretty after I've had given the personality but yeah fish, by the way. So much more pleasant after I've had 12 of these. Anyways. A woman, a woman was arrested. Oh, uh, after going to extreme links to get out of a date with a man, she met online.
Speaker: A woman took to ghosting her date to the next level by calling 911 on him while she was at her doorstep, falsely reporting that he was still threatening her. Samaya Thomas from North Liberty, Iowa, 18 years old, reportedly got cold feet just before meeting up with a man she matched with on a dating app. Instead of calling off the date altogether, she called authorities just after midnight. Who goes on a date at midnight, first and foremost? Yeah, that's a booty call. That's not a date. ah Just after midnight on June 16 and manufactured an outrageous story just to get him off her property. Thomas fabricated a tale telling authorities that the man at the at her doorstep was her abusive ex -boyfriend whose child she was pregnant with.
Speaker: She further claimed that he was threatening to hit punch, kick, stab her over text. According to the affidavit, affidavit, affidavit, there we go. Affidavit obtained by law and crime. She also claimed that she had known him for two years.
Speaker: She reported him threatening to cause harm to her court documents said police encountered the man walking away from the location where he told them he had just met Thomas a week prior on a dating app. Their communication then shifted from the app to text messaging to support his claims. The man said, boom, here's the receipts. Uh, when police interviewed Thomas, officer said that she claimed to have known the man for two years. She also stated that she was pregnant and this is not a good looking woman, by the way, this is the beast of a woman. Uh, she also claimed to, um, I mean, how hard is trying no else I can't go out. I got diarrhea. I just had bad clams or something. Yeah. Refusing to leave her alert after repeated questioning, Thomas eventually confessed that she got cold feet just because she got cold feet and changed her mind. All you have to do is text the guy. Hey, you know, I'm not feeling it. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. your You're, you're, you're sloth from the Goonies. I can't, I get it. Yeah. I mean, and she, like I said, she's no catch. Uh, she, uh, confessed that she got cold feet, made the entire story up because she had second thoughts about the date and simply didn't want to go through with it. She also, let me guess basically nothing happened to her cause she lied about a guy. Well, she was arrested. She told officers that she falsified the story because she didn't think officers would help her. If she explained the real reason why she called it off. The unidentified man was held for over an hour after Thomas's false accusation. The woman was charged with two misdemeanor counts of false report of an indictable offense to the public entity and one count of false report 911 call and released on bail from the Johnson County jail. I'm sorry, that is a bitch you see.
Speaker: I mean, seriously, how hard is it to put your head through the male slot and be like, yeah, I'm not feeling it, dude. I'm sick. My mother's sick. Make something up. You don't call an animal. That's a, that's a cunt move. That is a, that's, that's, that is a bitch move. Um, you know, whether you're male or female, that is a bitch move and just fucking people grow up. You know, what the fuck up everybody? And, and, and, and put your big boy pants on and your big girl pants on and be able to deal with life like an adult, like a grown up. It's not that hard. He's not going to feel bad. Yeah. He's not. He'd be like, Oh, okay. I get it. Whatever. Now you got a fucking criminal record. We'll try again another week. Yeah. Now you got a criminal record because you changed your mind at the last minute. That's a cunt. That fucked her. And that's what I was saying. It's going to be audio your record.
Speaker: So would you go apply for a job and they do a background check and they're like, Oh, she's a fucking liar. I don't want to work in here at my company. and Exactly. You're fucked. You just fucked yourself because you, you're too stupid to be like, I can't do my grandmother's got COVID, you know, whatever, you know, It could be made up, hey, my bird flew away. I gotta go get it. I gotta go walk my cat. i You know, whatever. go watch my gold this the the old The old saying, I can't, I'm washing my hair. All right, I get it. We'll try again next month. my My cat fell in the fish tank and my goldfish are currently eating it. I have to save it. yeah Sorry.
Speaker: However, however you and me like, you know, I get video of that because fuck this thing I actually have a dating story I actually saw on tiktok so and this is real quick because I know you want to wrap up because fireworks started but um, I Saw this video the other day this this girl goes on a tinder date is if you will I they didn't mention what app it was to realize tinder date and there's a new invention It's been out for a couple years. It's a it's a cup condom And it's basically a little cover that you put on your cup you know, you know, and it's like a little lid with a hole for your straw. This guy sits down and he's like, what the fuck is that? She's like, oh, it's just in case, you know, and and he and he just goes, OK, it fucking bounces. Yeah. Because he couldn't drug her and and do things. So, i you know, I was just like, damn, I would like i I wouldn't think of drugging anybody anyway. Maybe you just because it would be funny.
Speaker: But it's like, I'm not going to do anything to you except for maybe draw on your face, yeah from har you know, and then move the country. But but it's like dude was like flat out like, well, fuck you. You don't trust me. Yeah, it's an aspirin, bitch. Calm down. You know yeah that. Yeah, it's a weird fucked up world. It is. No, exactly. That's a hell of an invention. That's the crazy thing, man. You know, it's something that it's sad that something like that has to exist. Yeah. You know, it's, it's something that women have to truly worry about. And it's a sad thing, but you know what? Now we live in a day and age where it's not just women that have to worry about that. Uh, you know, uh, it's an, so it's an unfortunate, unfortunate circumstance where men and women have to worry about that. I know women have had to worry about it a lot longer than men have, but nonetheless, that's a hell of an invention. Yeah. I want one. Yeah. The next time I go drinking with you, because my ass still hurts. I'm just saying.
Speaker: I didn't even have to drug you.
Speaker: just gone out parking lot you've been Everybody wants seconds. Everybody wants seconds, dude. I know you, you you can't. You got to push away from the pie, buddy. You can't quit me. Stop, stop going back to the fucking buffet after three trips. You can't quit me. and Ladies and gentlemen, that is, that is news that made us say what the fuck. Hopefully it made you say what the fuck as well. We will see you next Wednesday night with a brand new episode of what the fuck news. In the meantime, if you're not already, go follow the network. We have an actual network of shows here where we have a show every night of the week. Monday night is men caring for men. It's a men's mental health show. Tuesday night is Jeff's garage. If it's got a motor and it fits in the garage, they're going to talk about it. Him and Benji doing their thing. Wednesday night is this show right here. What the fuck news with Jeff and I and Connor and Jerry Vichy sometimes.
Speaker: but but sometimes Connor and Jeff and I will pretty much always be here where if it's in the news and it makes us say what the fuck we're going to talk about it Thursday night just talking shit and that's exactly what they're doing over there is they're talking shit make sure you tune in tomorrow afternoon not tomorrow night because we pre -recorded the show Look out for the special guest. My little guy, the right hand man, the champ junior, if you will, made his podcast debut and he fucking killed it. Also make sure you show him some love on that aspect. That'll be live 4 PM tomorrow instead of the normal 8 PM time on YouTube and Facebook and all that. Friday nights is Glick's house of music. I'm hanging out with musicians, doing interviews, chit chatting and hanging out and having a good time. Um, Saturday nights is nonsensical nonsense. It is the foundation of this network.
Speaker: We're doing what we do best unhinged, unapologetic, comment -based, having a good time hanging out. We throw a little tis twist, a twist, a twist on it. We call it the open door challenge. We dropped the link in the chatters box and we dare you guys to come on in and hang out with us. We just ask you to turn your camera on and please keep your pecker off camera. Sunday nights coming soon as a sports show hosted by Jeravichi. We're looking forward to that. Can't wait to make the announcement of when it's going to happen. We're all excited for it. It's going to be a great show. Jarvis is going to do a good job. He's going to be writing in his fucking element, man. straton yeah He's going to be awesome. I've been blowing up doing what he does best, but that being said, we are everywhere. Facebook, Instagram, X and tick tock live Monday through Sunday on YouTube, Twitch, X and Facebook. You can get into the chatters box and hang out with us. We'll shoot your shit.
Speaker: And you can listen to us anytime, anyplace, wherever you listen to podcasts at all at the nonsensical network or simply go to bio dot .link slash nonsensical network. You've seen it down at the bottom of your screen all night. Would that be, it said, I got Ben's here with a little, uh, it's a country thing and we'll come back with some closing thoughts.
Speaker: It's Will and Hank, haggard and straight It's a jacked up truck with a radio crank It's a good timing, good whiskey, left hand smoke man Cheeping like a hippie, it's the way we talk, it's the way we sing Yeah baby, it's a country
Speaker: It's a railroad, it's all we know, dear, run by a station and a rodeo It's a radio prank, the sun comes from straight, drinking cold beer on a tailgate It's a southern draw and a southern board twine, yeah, baby, it's a country line
Speaker: Bonfire and a fifth of shine It's some down -home cooking It's some homemade wine It's a pretty little thing in them cut -off jeans She lookin' like somethin' from a magazine It's worn out for listenin' and worn out jeans Yeah, baby, it's country time It's a wheel, it's all we know We run by a station and a road we own It's a radio crank with some drums on straight Drinking cold beer on the tailgate It's a Southern draw and a Southern board twine Yeah baby, it's a country band
Speaker: It's all we know, dear, run by a station in the rodeo
Speaker: It's a railin', it's all we know, dear, run by us, fishin' in the loyo It's a radio prank, some cars go straight, drinkin' cold beer on the jail gate It's southern drawin', southern porch wine Yeah, baby, it's country bang Yeah, baby, it's country bang
Speaker: Yes, sir. And there with it's a country thing, baby. Appreciate y 'all. Let's appreciate y 'all hanging out before we take off. Jeff, anything you'd like to say before we leave? Well, uh, my new thing is of course, these, these toasts that I found that I sent you. So raise your, you laid your can there, sir. but And I got, i well, would ill raise your fucking glass then. from and I think, I think this is going to be my staple for Wednesday nights. Um, to the ones that love us and the losers that lost us and the lucky bastards that get the meats.
Speaker: yeah I'm out. Well, ladies and gentlemen, that's what the fuck news is, I see it. And that's the way in a cookie crumbles. um
Speaker: See you assholes next time. and Go fuck yourself Seattle.
