Transcript
Speaker: I never could fight Oh, please don't let me leave Oh, please don't let me leave Call me God and tell me everything
Speaker: Oh, I can't stay long this time
Speaker: If you wear anything
Speaker: Hold me down and tell me everything Hold me down and let me scream Hold me down, I'll give you anything I'll please keep
Speaker: All right. What's going on, everybody? Welcome, welcome. It's Wednesday. You know what that means. A little nonsensical nonsense coming your way. Hopefully you guys are having a good week so far. I'm Glick, as always, hanging out with my little buddy, the bearded gnome. Jeff. The beavis to your butt head.
Speaker: Yeah. You look like a creepy bearded gnome right now. The delight is the way it is.
Speaker: But anywho, we are live on Facebook, YouTube, Haps, Twitch, and I think that's everything. You can go follow us on all those. You can also check us out on Instagram and TikTok and Facebook and get every episode of the podcast on Spotify, Anchor, Google, Apple, basically anywhere, anywhere you get your podcast jollies. So go give us a like, go give us a thumb in.
Speaker: You know what Jeff wants? You know how to, you know how he likes it. I almost said, you know how that works. I kind of rushed through that. I kind of prematurely started recording on Snapchat, but yeah. Feel free to follow us on social media, y 'all. Uh, at nonsense, what else it's on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tik TOK.
Speaker: Uh, YouTube, Twitch, everything's growing except for Twitch and YouTube, but I don't handle YouTube. And I don't think anybody in this Twitch. So the problem with Twitch is it doesn't save your videos. It just shows when you're streaming from apps, it doesn't save the video. So once we're done, it goes away. It's very annoying. And I can't figure out a key unless you go live on Twitch.
Speaker: And it's like, yeah, we don't have a big enough following to do that. Well, I used to go live on Twitch, uh, back in the day. Let's, uh, Oh, by the way, you can also email us at nonsensical nonsense podcast at gmail .com.
Speaker: Yeah. All the places I have done live streams, I actually used to go live on Twitch while I was playing like, uh, Madden or Call of Duty or whatever. Not that I was like, Oh, I'm a great game or anything like that. I was just beat. I had a camera for my PlayStation. Yeah. And I was just play and bullshit with people. But, um, I didn't stay on Twitch very long because it was kind of a, it was kind of a pain in the ass.
Speaker: Oh, that reminds me. You and I talked about it a while back. I finally got Call of Duty Modern Warfare. Yeah, that's - Fucking suck at it. Yeah, that doesn't surprise me. Holy shit. I have to play the team, I forget what it's called, like Clash or whatever. I cannot play the regular game because I die in like the first five seconds and I'm like, fucking, what the shit? Who shot me?
Speaker: I'm never gonna learn on this fucker if I don't get to play. You gotta play a little plunder. We'll have to get on there together sometime. Yeah, I play on the clash. It's a team thing. I actually got five kills in a single 10 minute session the other day and I was kind of impressed with myself.
Speaker: And then of course my brother -in -law gets on there and gets 30 and I'm like, fuck you, you little shit. But he lives on Fortnite, so I was like, man. He's like, this is just like Fortnite. I was like, fuck you. Just like Fortnite. No, it's not. Not remotely. It's fucking badass. It looks badass.
Speaker: If I could play for more than five minutes at a time, I'd be happy. Yeah. Cam and I play a lot of Call of Duty. But we play the new Black Ops, Cold War, whatever the hell it is. Right. Don't really get on Warzone much anymore. But that's just because we both suck at the battle royal thing. And then I really like to play plunder. I like to play the shit out of plunder, mainly because you can respawn.
Speaker: Yeah, that's what I think it's called. I think it's called it might be under a clash I don't know but it's literally two teams and if you die you respond. Oh my god. I can live with this at least I can It's probably a new game, but it's been so long since I've been it's it's I don't know what fucking season is it or whatever but it's I've been having a blast that the farmland was really I'm loving it and
Speaker: The stadium I'm not a huge fan of. Or not yet. No, is it the stadium? Yeah, the stadium I'm not a fan of. The train station I can do all right on. The Superstore I suck at. Oh my god, Superstore. Well, that's because everybody, their brother goes to Superstore. Well, that's what I told you, man. Plunder, and anybody who's listening, if you're a gamer and you like Warzone and you like Plunder, if you don't already know, you ain't going to the prison where you at.
Speaker: Well, yeah, I'm actually, I actually, uh, one of the games close to the prison. But when you try to go to the prisons and it's in the green smoke area where you start to die. And I was like, wow, I can't. I was like, well boy, boy blunder and drop down into the prison. And, um, that's where all the fucking money is. And then if you're lucky enough to get an access card to a bunker, there's literally a bunker just outside of the prison. So, so I'll go down there, collect a whole bunch of money.
Speaker: And then, you know. Air strike the shit out of everything. Yeah, deposit it. And then, yeah, I have been known to drop cluster bombs and airstrikes and random shit just throughout the month. I got pissed the other day. My brother -in -law sat there watching me, making fun of me because I picked up a drone that had an explosive on it. And I was like, oh, I'm gonna fucking bomb somebody. This is gonna be awesome. I couldn't get out of the building I was in when the drone blew up.
Speaker: I was like, God damn it. He's like, it's gonna blow up. I'm like, no shit. And I killed myself. He sat there laughing for 10 minutes. I was like, fuck you. But I want to talk about Saturday's podcast real fast. If you go back to an hour and 20, an hour and 34 minutes, you see me lean over the railing here.
Speaker: And because my wife is out by my car asking me a question and I couldn't quite understand her and she started to get upset. Then I turned back at the camera and I roll my eyes.
Speaker: And she was watching live. Oh my God. We watched it like seven times. And every time she got mad or mad, I started laughing. I laughed so hard, my stomach hurts. That's right. That's right. YouTube. No. Yeah. Yeah. She was watching on Facebook because she was downstairs.
Speaker: doing something with the kids, watching TV or something. And I was up here and she popped out and asked me a question. She's like, are you guys done? I was like, no, we just finished the second, the first, the middle break. And she's like, oh, okay. And she said something like, when you're done, do some, oh, she asked me if I turned off the air conditioner and I didn't hear and she's like, did you hear me? And I just kind of turned to the camera and rolled my eyes.
Speaker: And she's like, I got done, and she says, you fucking rolled your eyes at me. I'm like, what are you? No, I didn't. She's like, oh, motherfucker, you did. I'm like, I promise you, I did not. And she goes, well, let's see the replay, shall we? And I was like, damn, YouTube. She brings up the YouTube. She's like, where was it? Oh, there you are, leaning back. There you go. And then you roll. There it is. You rolled your eyes at me. I laughed so hard. Oh, my God, dude.
Speaker: Holy shit. Where'd you say it was? It's like an hour and 30, you can actually, if you're fast forwarding through YouTube, once you start the video and you fast forward to an hour and 30 something, you see me with my back to the camera. And it's right after I finally turn back. Clear as fucking day, I roll my eyes. I just do one of these.
Speaker: She saw it. She was like, I saw that live. And I was like, my bad. I did it completely unconsciously. It's not like I did it on purpose.
Speaker: I'm going to have to find that and screen record it and put that up on social media. We'll put it, we'll dub it where you roll your eyes. And it was at this moment, Jeff Ruhan, it fucked up. But she was mad, but not upset, so to speak.
Speaker: And I had, we were both laughing about it, but, but she was still upset that I rolled my eyes, but it was one of those moments where I was like, okay, I'm not, I'm in trouble, but I'm not in trouble. Oh my God. My stomach hurt all night last night. Cause I laughed so hard. I must've laughed for another hour after that. And then of course I, I kept replaying it. I was like, let's see it again.
Speaker: And then she's talking about something. I just kept, I'd stare at her and just roll my eyes. She's like, that's not funny. I was like, oh, you're not safe from my perspective. From my perspective, it's hilarious. And I said, I'm going to mention it on the podcast on Wednesday. You realize this. But it was, like I said, it was completely unconscious and it was not meant in disrespect in any way to her. It was just one of those things.
Speaker: When she knows I can't hear her with my headphones on. Yeah. And she's asked me a question and I, I finally, I was like, Oh, sure. But speaking of, and speaking of your pretty girl there, um, you and I, I, I showed, sent you a couple of intros and I put a,
Speaker: TikTok out asking the public to pick their favorite. And as you commented earlier before we went live, a lot of people picked three. I got a direct message from Summer and my wife agreed with her that we should use number one. And I thought that was hilarious because you and I both discussed number one and we're like, it's too classy for us.
Speaker: Well, yeah, like it looks nice. It looks pretty, but we're not that classy people. Well, like the only two people that mentioned number one being good was your fiance and my wife. Well, like I told you, I liked one and I liked three.
Speaker: But, and I got yelled at for saying this by my daughter, because I was like, the music's too soft. It's too slow. And then I changed music. You know, it's gay. And my daughter was like, you're not supposed to say that. Shut up. I'm from the 80s. I'm allowed to. Yeah. Well, she has her reasonings for thinking like that.
Speaker: I was like, well, I didn't mean it like that. I was saying that it was bad. I should be a little bit more woke on that myself.
Speaker: Yeah, my brother. Well, well, and I've got my broster and, and so I don't care. I used to, when my broster was a she, I used to call her a dyke all the time. She didn't care. Like it was, I was allowed to say it. Yeah. That's, that goes along with the, I'm allowed to pick on you as much as I want, but somebody else does it to you. They're going to get their ass handed to him for me. Me?
Speaker: Yeah, I can pick on you, but nobody else is allowed to pick on you. If somebody picks on me, you're going to kick their ass. I'll do something. I'm going to Facebook that somewhere. Jeff, give me your ankles. I'm going to use you as a weapon. Yeah, there you go. No, but that's the concept. I can pick on my kids all day long. I'm allowed to. I'm their dad. That's my job. But anybody else picks on my kid, they're going to get their ass beat. I don't care if he's 4 or 40.
Speaker: Yeah. I'm sorry. Summer said, pick on me and see what happens, Jeff. And then she put a bunch of knife emojis. I forgot. Summer's gangster. Everybody picks on me. I don't care. I'm a big dumb oaf and you know, it's our lot in life.
Speaker: But I thought that was very funny that my wife and your future wife both said number one and you and I both said the same thing. It's way too classy for us. It's too fancy. Yeah, it's just for, you know, like I told you. It reminds me of FX. Remember FX, they used to have these really cool things like that on the FX channel. In between commercials, it would have something cool like that. And it reminds me of an FX logo.
Speaker: Yeah. But it's way too fancy for us. Considering it's gold and brass and silver and it looks really pretty. But I like the actual video itself, I liked.
Speaker: I just didn't like the music behind it. Because, you know, we come in, usually we come in and we're pretty amped, we're pretty, we start the show with fucking Blacktop Mojo. And it's like, yeah, we'll start to show Blacktop Mojo. And again, those videos are strictly visual for people who watch live. They're not gonna, like I said about your, like I said about the video you sent me for top five. Visually, it's cool.
Speaker: But as far as the audio goes, it's just going to pop up randomly in the podcast or in the show. And people that are listening on Anchor or Spotify or Google or Apple or whatever, whoever they happen to get their podcast jollies, they they're going to be like, what the fuck? Yeah, yeah. That's the funny thing. That's the funny thing is that didn't occur to me until you said something to me. Yeah.
Speaker: And what was funny is as you, as I'm creating those, I was on the app. It has where you can do a voiceover and I was like, why would I do a voiceover? And I, it just, it never clicked until you said something right before we went live. And I went, Oh yeah. Wow. I'm a fucking idiot. Yeah. We all know that. Yeah. I get accused of it daily, but you know, it is what it is. It looks cool. And actually I had to actually.
Speaker: Crop that into with a different app because it's originally 34 seconds long and I got it down to like 10. Yeah Because it's supposed to have like it's supposed to actually count down and I was like, I don't need to count down. I just need five I'm gonna see What's that because
Speaker: If I have to redo the news one. Okay. Which one? I don't know. No, you just have to add a couple of things. Oh, okay. Did you see the second news one? Because I'm a child and I have sound boards and I found sounds that would go... Oh, okay. No, but did you see the second news one I built? Where it shows the bunch of screens? Yeah, that's what I got. Okay. Those are the ones... Oh, I thought I sent you the airplane one.
Speaker: Well, yeah, I think you did it first, but that was before I sent you the audio. Well, those pictures that I put in there, those pictures on those screens, they weren't there. I had to find all those pictures. So those are pictures I actually put up. So I was thinking about putting pictures of us, but I did it in like five minutes.
Speaker: So do you do you want me to give you a uh, atta boy a gold star? I'm proud of you jeff if you were here i'd catch you on your bald little head But here's here's the funny thing I found that that app Because of the the one app that you say I spend too much time on I found it on tick tock I know you spent a lot of time on tick tock and I wish you would actually
Speaker: do something
Speaker: that'll kind of grab people. So I'm constantly like, okay, no, no. You use a popular shout -in. You make it your own. Yeah, I know. I want to do that one with the drone that we were talking about the other day. I don't want to do something that everybody else has done, but I want to do something that everybody else has done. I want to do that one. That one's just full. That one's just nonsensical nonsense. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: Oh, he said somebody says the two idiots that have podcasts like everybody else on the fucking planet. Somebody said that the other day. They're like non nonsensical nonsense. Isn't that kind of a oxymoron? You know, like and I'm like, yeah, that's the point. And they're like, oh, I dig it. I like it. Listen, if I catch you'll get it.
Speaker: It makes a whole lot more sense with the audio. Don't worry. You just scroll on TikTok. I'll handle the person in the videos. That one video just kind of blew the fuck up. That's the weird thing about TikTok is you don't expect something to blow up and it blows up. You try to make something that blow up and it never goes anywhere.
Speaker: Well, that's the thing. Like, that's that's that's what that's what any social media, you know, when you almost when you yeah, when you try to do something and you work really fucking hard at it and then you're like, yeah, this is good. I'm going to be proud of it. And then you get like three likes and then something you like, like, you know, like football. Right.
Speaker: crap and and next thing though it's the it's it's viral yeah like like my dumb ass last football season doing my stupid pregame rants or victory rants uh after the before and after the browns games that was you know i've been drinking all day or whatever and then and then i do that and people fucking caught on and they loved it and now it's like
Speaker: I just couldn't think of anything Speaking I couldn't think of anything. I literally got the top five ready about five minutes if I finished it Well, here's the crazy thing and I had a couple ideas and I had them written down and everything and
Speaker: I had to do one last week and I got a couple messages and they were like, where's the pregame rant? Come on, man. What the fuck?
Speaker: You can literally cheat and just go online and put in top 10 Halloween costumes for whores. Once again, it's my opinion, though. So that would be something else. They give you and you come up with something. I got a good one, though. I think I actually got a decent one because I'm a huge TV nut.
Speaker: I need a top five comedy TV shows. They're huge. Well, I would say you're a huge TV nut. You're more of a... I'm just as happy. Do you have genres that you like and you don't stray too far from? No, I don't. That's the weird thing. Well, actually, actually... No, actually... I have to say this. I watch The New Mutants.
Speaker: for my TV show or movie of the week, New Mutants. That's a good show. Holy shit, it was amazing. That's a really good show. Did you watch it all the way through? Well, it's not even a series, it's a TV show. It's a movie. Oh, no, you watched the New Mutants movie. New Mutants movie with Anya Taylor -Joy, Amazing Williams.
Speaker: And those are the only two people that I actually... Well, there's a TV show. I saw they were in it. I was like, oh, I'm in. That's called Buttons. Or Inhumans or something like that. Inhumans. Yeah, there's a couple of different TV shows. But I watched that. That movie was actually really good. I was actually really surprised because I didn't think it was going to be that good.
Speaker: Well, here's the crazy thing. I actually, I was like, they got, they're doing a sequel, right? You know, I was, because it was so good. I was like, I gotta do a sequel. And apparently it was filmed in 2017. And it was held back and held back and held back. And they were going, oh, we're gonna reshoot it. And then then the Fox Disney merger came. And when Disney finally took over, like, we're not gonna reshoot this. We'll just put it out. Fuck it.
Speaker: Yeah, I don't think they're going anywhere else with it because right now they're in the process of they're going to be introducing the X -Men into the Marvel universe. Spider -Man and all that jazz. Deadpool and so many other new characters that they're going to be introducing into the Marvel universe. I think the Punisher at some point is going to be introduced. Yeah.
Speaker: But I was completely impressed. I mean, I didn't expect it to be a... I didn't watch the trailer or nothing. I was just like, hey, you know, Maisie Williams and Anya Taylor -Joy, I was like, oh, I'm in. Because I think they're both gorgeous. And I was like, I'm in. So because that's how I play most of my movies. Yeah. But not only that, I mean, OK, A, it's a Marvel movie. B, it's got two chicks that are hot.
Speaker: I'm gonna stop you right there because I've got something way better than this. Oh, yeah. I'm probably gonna go to hell for this, but she put it in the comments. So I'm just gonna say summer summer just commented. Just call me shitty britches from here on out. Oh, done. Done shitty britches. You're gone.
Speaker: I got you. They had a stomach bug going through their house. Oh. And poor Parker got it first. Oh. And the other night he woke up and he was puking and shitting and it was coming out of both ends at the same fucking time. It was going everywhere. Poor, poor dude. He was like puking in the toilet, shitting in the trash can. Summer was holding it.
Speaker: Yeah. Well, I've actually been sick and I've had that where I've been sitting on the toilet and I've you know, fortunately, yeah, fortunately, it was reversed but I guess you couldn't sit down and it was a mess. Summer's had a hell of a week. Unfortunately, this week. Well, then it hit summer last night. I don't think she had the I don't think she had all the puking and everything like Parker
Speaker: She wants you to become the exorcist. Yeah, she went to Walmart today to get diarrhea medicine. She puked two times. And while she was at Walmart getting diarrhea medicine. You should have stopped by an adult diapers aisle and picked up a little to call it a day.
Speaker: And then, you know, she got some really bad news the other night too. I won't go too much into detail on that. But she got some really bad news the other night. And then tonight, on top of everything, she was cooking dinner and she got Parker's plate and I guess she dropped it and when she went to pick it up, she burned her fucking hand.
Speaker: I'm assuming she put her hand down on like the stove or something. She's like, I'm over this whole fucking day. So yeah, I guess from here on out, Summer will be known as...
Speaker: We've all been there. I feel good because I've been there. I've been there. I've done that at Walmart. I mean, hopefully, granted, it was just like, oh, that was not a fart. And then you don't make too much of a mess. The older you get, the less you trust farts. Yeah. And then you're wedged in your penguin walking to the bathroom. That's why I go around and say, I really hope that it wasn't. Every time that happens to me, I repeat the line from teaching Chong up and smoke.
Speaker: Come on, G, stay together. Oh, my God. Never since you left your panties in the bathroom. OK, so it didn't seep through you, G, or your pants or anything like that. It was obvious.
Speaker: It's just as cheap to replace them as it is to wash them, apparently. Well, I'm at Walmart. I'll just go buy new panties. Exactly. I'm here. Could you imagine walking up to the register at Walmart with diarrhea, medicine, and a new pair of panties? An adult -like person.
Speaker: Just being that cash you're going. And you're buying keys and did you shit yourself? You don't shit your pants. Oh man, she said she had Parker bringing her wet paper towels, her assholes. I know that feeling. Oh, that feeling gives me nightmares.
Speaker: I don't think they're, you know, I'm pretty sure, I'm pretty sure we could line up 10 people and ask 10 people at random if they've ever shit themselves in Walmart. And if they've ever shit themselves at Walmart, just in Walmart. No, definitely Walmart. And I would be willing to bet that at least, at least seven of them would admit to it. And the other three would lie. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: I've had those clothes called before. Like I said, you know, I've had a, you know, sadly, unfortunately, it's been more than once, but I've been sick and you start feeling better and you trust that fart and you're walking around wall and you're just like, who caught? Nope, that's a spooky look. I can't believe I lost. Fortunately, I never had nothing like an explosive where it's like run down my pants into my boots or anything. Like I said, I had that one story when I went to go pick up my car.
Speaker: And I got, it was, it was only a couple of blocks away. I was like, I can walk there. And I got about halfway there and turn around and came home. Thank God I went home. Cause I couldn't make, I couldn't get my key in the door fast enough. Yeah. Shortly after I started working where I'm at now, I left work one day and I was like, Ooh, I got a shit. I think I can wait till I get home. And, uh,
Speaker: my age, I don't, I don't, there is no, I think I can. There's like, I'm not going to make it. I got about halfway home and I was pulling into a gas station, hot boy. I was like, I can't wait. I did that. I did. Oh my God. I did it like three days ago. Yeah. I went to Oxo to pick up cigarettes and Coke and I get about halfway back and I'm like, Oh, fuck. I'm not going to make it.
Speaker: And then they had changed the lock. Our lock on the walk -in gate broke like two weeks ago and they finally fixed it that day. Oh no. Now luckily the drive -in gate, I have a key for that too. So I unlocked that and locked it back up and waddled my way back up to the house. Come on, keep, stay together.
Speaker: yeah as soon as i got wi -fi i'm calling the kids open the fucking front door i'm coming in i came into that fucking gas station
Speaker: Like, they'll learn how to come in the pit road. I literally. I was in the parking lot sideways, drifted into it. And I was, I took up two spots and I freaking ran out and ran into the bathroom. I was like, Oh my God. Give me the bath. The poor kid at the, when I come out of the bathroom, the poor kid that was working the register, he just looked at me. I looked at him.
Speaker: He knew what happened. We just nodded and smiled at each other. In a situation like that, I went and literally looked at that kid and go, don't go in there for about 35, 45 minutes. Well, then I felt, then I was like, I should go buy something. So I went and bought like a Pepsi and I came up and I was like, whoo, that was close.
Speaker: Yeah, as soon as I walked up there, I was like, whoo, that was close, Bubba. And he was like, you good? I said, I'm good. That bathroom's not good. I hope you don't have to clean that, motherfucker. He was like, I seen you come in, and I already knew what was going down. He's fumbling for the key. Just getting ready to hold it out for you. I've never had a gas station job, but I think it would be fucking hilarious. Oh, yeah.
Speaker: I think it would be one of those jobs that just be, well, there's a girl on TikToks. That's what she does. She just films people as they come in the door and she works on like a quickie march or some shit. And well, down here, like a lot of the, there's a lot of TikTokers that, um, they work at the oxos and you can tell cause they're always in uniform when they're dancing. I'm like, how do they explain that when people walk in the door?
Speaker: Are you talking about the are you talking about the chicken fucks with everybody? No, no, no, that's Lady Oxo. Lady Oxo is actually a stripper. She used to work at Oxo and never turned in her uniform. She just went with it. No, there's a chick that works in a works at a gas station and it's all clearly staged. Because she'll just like ask like random fucking question. Oh, no. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's the thing I'm talking about. Yeah, that's the thing I'm talking about.
Speaker: It's clearly staged. She's probably like, look, I'll give you 10, 10, 25 % off to your next candy bar or something. Do this TikTok for me. Yeah. But a lot of the, there's a lot of girl TikTokers on TikTok in Mexico. They actually work at a quickie bar and you can see they're dancing in their uniform. Oh yeah. And I'm always thinking, you know, what do they say when a customer walks in and they're sitting there
Speaker: doing the Dougie or some shit, or they're dabbing. I've always walked him like, tick tock. Yeah, awesome. What's your what's your head off all you give me a pack of cigarettes and stop fucking dancing. Yeah, there was the guy years ago that that was like his whole gimmick on on periscope was he just he just set up his life while he was at work.
Speaker: Yeah. He hides, he hides iPhones in his candy bars and see if how people are honest. Yeah. And like one kid, he came in and he's like, he's like, I just need milk. Oh, Hey, there's a, there's an iPhone in here. And he gave the kid the iPhone. I was like, that's pretty cool. Yeah.
Speaker: Well, that's one of those things as we as we talked about before. Yeah, that's that's not good. I'm going to do a good deed and make sure yeah, make sure everybody sees it. Yeah, I gotta make sure everybody knows I'm a good person. Good person.
Speaker: Watch me get all these views and likes and followers. And they're going to send me money that I say I'm going to donate to charity. But in actuality, the charity is going to be my Lamborghini fund. My nonprofit wallet. Speaking of speaking of Lamborghini, not that I'm going to ever buy a Lamborghini. Even if I had the money, I wouldn't buy one. But but the Powerball lottery up here.
Speaker: is up to $490 million. I see if it was only 400, I wouldn't buy a ticket, but that 490 I'm in. Yeah. It's funny because I'm weird like that. Like I usually won't buy tickets until they get up to like 150, 150 million. That 149, fuck that shit, that's not enough. 149 million, that's not going to change my life at all.
Speaker: Tonight I was up the speedway. The last couple times I've gone up the speedway.
Speaker: One of the guys that works up there, he's been either A, trying to get a cigarette break, or B, he's just stepped outside to have a cigarette break. As you pull in, he's like, fuck. So I fucked with him constantly. He said, today, he was just coming around the corner. I was like, every time I come up here, you out here fucking around smoking cigarettes. I was like, I'm trying to get cigarettes, and I can't. And he was like, shut the fuck up. Come on, let's go inside. And I was like,
Speaker: I'm feeling extra froggy tonight. I'm going to buy into my retirement plan. I wound up buying two Powerball tickets. He's like, uh, he's like, what are you going to do if you hit this? I said, well, first thing I'm going to do is come down here. I said, the first thing I'm going to do is come down here and make sure you can quit your job. He's like, damn right. I'll just, you'll just be my cigarette gopher.
Speaker: Well, the funny thing about the lottery, my wife and I used to go to the casino here. And when we, it was before, I think Kevin was maybe three and her mom would watch her overnight because we wouldn't get done till like, we wouldn't get done at work until like 11 30. And then we'd go to the casino until they closed.
Speaker: And we'd actually do well. We played craps and occasionally we'd play one of the stupid machines. But a buddy of mine that worked at the same location, he was like, why do you go to the casino? You know, you could lose so much money. And then he goes over and he buys a lot of tickets. I'm like, dude, with that $10, you just spent on a lot of tickets. He's like, I said, I can take that and go turn it into $200 tonight. Well, I know. I don't buy lottery tickets very often.
Speaker: I'm not knocking it. I'm just winning the lottery versus the chances of me winning at the casino. Yeah. I don't do it very often, but every once in a while, I'll get a wild bug up my ass and I'll be like, yeah, why not? Especially when, you know, what's the harm in $4 and you, and I know it's like a one in 4 billion chance. The chances of, you have more of a chance of getting hit by lightning.
Speaker: Yeah, but you know, it's only $4, but you know, if for some weird ass fucking reason my numbers hit, I spent $4 and turned it into $490 million. So, you know, it's not like something that I do all the time. I'm not shitting on people that do play the lottery. I'm shitting on people that bitch about me going to the casino versus them spending the same amount of money I spent at the casino.
Speaker: And we, we, when we would go, we would, you know, we'd make like $300 in one day. Yeah. And we're like, oh, it's a hundred bucks. Yeah. Well, there are, there are people much like on the casino that have a problem, you know? Yeah. But, um, back in the day, I used to, um, now I'll buy scratch offs. Okay. But I, okay.
Speaker: I have never not at least won my money back on scratch -offs. But back in the day, I used to get paid on Friday. And Friday after work, I'd go buy $100 worth of scratch -offs. And it never failed. I always won at least $200, if not more. So I spent $100, win $200. So I made an extra $100, if not more than that.
Speaker: Uh, but you know, and now even now every once in a while I'll be feeling a little froggy and I'll be like, eh, give me five of the dollar scratch offs. And then I usually, the funny thing is the fun is speaking of, of feeling froggy about something. They have a game at the casino. It's actually, uh, it works kind of like bingo, but it's not bingo. It's called yak Y a K. And what you do is they, they call off numbers one through 99.
Speaker: And they give you a card with 15 numbers on it. Once you get a full card, you yell out yak. And the first one to get a line across, there's three lines. The first one to get a line across calls line and you win. But here's the crazy thing. It costs 25 cents to play a game. So between the two of us, it's 50 cents a game. And we can go for, we'll go in and say, look, $50 is our limit tonight. But we can sit there and play yak, have dinner.
Speaker: while playing yak and either get fucked up or have free soda and coffee until three o 'clock in the morning, starting at 10 o 'clock for less than 50 bucks. And if we win, if you win the line, if you win the line, it's like 75 bucks. If you win the whole yak, you can make like 150 bucks. There's a game similar to that that they have in like all the bars here. It's called Kino.
Speaker: Yeah. I think that's what it's called. Can you know something like that? But, you know, believe it or not, we have two casinos in Columbus now.
Speaker: And when I came home, I was like, hell yeah, I'm going to go to the casinos. I've been home almost three years and I've yet to go to a casino. I want to, I've only been to a casino once in my life. I went to the hard rock. And then I just, all right. Cause I didn't know, I don't know anything about any of the games or any of that stuff. So I just played like penny slots. You know what I mean? Perhaps when I say we, I'm not allowed to play.
Speaker: Because apparently I'm a bad, I'm bad luck. But I sit there and drink and my wife play craps. I've literally, one night we watched a guy, he was rolling and we're betting on his rolls, right? And I kid you not, they have different colored chips and each chip is worth a different amount. And the $50 chips are purple. He cleaned out the table of all the purple chips in under an hour. Nice.
Speaker: with 20 bucks. It was insane. I don't know if you, I don't know if you remember, or if you ever, do you remember, uh, Sayota Downs, the, the, the, the dog horse truck? Well, that's no longer there. It's now an El Dorado casino. And right on, right up, right beside the casino.
Speaker: They've got a hotel built on the casino, but they've also got a brewery and that's the one I want to go to. And then we've got Hollywood Casino down in Cincinnati. They're getting ready to open up a hard rock casino. It might already be opened up, but up in Cleveland at the at the football or not up in Cleveland up in Canton.
Speaker: at the football Hall of Fame. They're doing this whole big Hall of Fame fucking village. My sister lives up there and she sent me a thing, an article about what they're doing out there, but they're putting a Hall of Fame casino up there. Nice. And everything in it is tied into the NFL and everything whatnot. And I'm like, she's like, so you go to Mansfield and find a place called the Hawks nest.
Speaker: It's a machine casino Now your brother owes me a $500 credit when I go in there He doesn't own it anymore. He just sold it and opened up a new one. I don't know Well when he almost was doing so all subjects in a squirrel moment Summer do you care to elaborate on that comment? Summer said mama has to find a new spot for her toys Wow
Speaker: I can only see, I would, my mind grows straight to sex toys. That's exactly what I think she's talking about. When I reference my tools to my kids, I'm like, these are dad's toys. Don't touch. So like, you know, maybe it's, well, my, my adult drawers also where I keep my gun and my, my kids know that they're not allowed in that drawer for any reason whatsoever.
Speaker: So I don't have to worry about them going in there. Because they know that's what my gun is. I'm not a nosy person by any means. And I remember I was helping my brother out. I was rebuilding his attic, redry walling it.
Speaker: And I was staying there the weekend, and he's very, very, very, very, very, very gay. And he was heading off to work, and he says, whatever you do, don't go into this drawer. And I kid you not, didn't even think about opening it. I was like, you know what? I'm good. Never even thought about opening it.
Speaker: Apparently someone was in her room acting like it was, what the? Acting like it was a sword. Did you get a new one? That I don't know about? What the hell? He's in there acting like it's a fucking sword. Comes out, smacks her in the face. I challenge you to a duel. Put that back.
Speaker: My gosh, yeah Like I said Well Sadly unfortunately I've Accidentally stumbled upon more things and I would like to have stumbled upon Well when I lived down in South Carolina because I
Speaker: Um, one, when I was working at Aaron's, you know, we used to go, not only did we, did I deliver the furniture and stuff, but we also did the returns, whether we were repoing or if somebody just was like, I don't want this anymore. Come get it. And we would tell people, make sure your drawers are empty. Make sure everything's taken out, blah, blah, blah. And it never failed. People always left shit in there. But also when I worked at Oregon.
Speaker: And we used to do like bed bug treatments or especially in the hotels, like the extended stay hotels or coverage treatments, depending upon how bad it was of an infestation was we'd have to get into drawers and stuff like that. And we tell people, if there's something in there that you don't want people to see, make sure you take it out. Yep.
Speaker: Man, I have stumbled across a little bit of fucking everything from sex toys, to drugs, to weapons, to a drawer full of fucking, I was in a, I was in one of my hotels and I opened up a drawer to treat the rails with like a cop, it was a, it was a cockroach bait. Okay. And I opened up the drawer and I shit you not.
Speaker: What's going on down DZ? I start talking about Aaron's and my buddy Dom, my brother comes in here. But I was, I was putting jell bay and I opened the drawer on the nightstand and I shoot you not from front to back, bottom to top. It was stacked with $100 bills.
Speaker: Jesus. And the guy that was standing there was like, Oh, I forgot. I was like, why the fuck are you staying in this hotel when you got all this drug dealer? He was like, well, I mean, I was like, we get it. We get it, dude. This is not supposed to be seen by anybody, right? That was, that was one of those times where I was like, you know, uh,
Speaker: I can be quiet. I can be quiet. I feel you. I feel you. But I used to, I used to have a customer when I worked at Orchid down there, it was two girls that, that shared a house and they, they both did webcams. Nice.
Speaker: and uh one day i got there and uh they had a box on their front porch i'm not going to wait yeah so no no so so you know germinator's here too oh
Speaker: I'm here to kill the bugs. Even now, even now, you know, if I knock on somebody's door, they've got a package out there. I just pick it up and say, Hey, this is on your porch and I give it to him. So I knocked on the door, picked up the box and she came out and I was like, Hey, this was on the step for you. So, you know, I picked it up. So you didn't have to worry about it.
Speaker: and uh and she was like oh okay and she called her a roommate and then while I'm in the middle of doing the service there opening this box and it was just full of all kinds of shit and I'm like um do you guys want me to like go outside or anything they're like no it's fine you know what we do for a living I'm like
Speaker: Well, I mean, they, they show everything on for strangers. Yeah. How's that going to bother them? Thank you. Yeah. I was just like, it was such a weird, awkward experience. It was just like, Oh, okay. Whatever. Good Lord. These kids are opening the door. Yeah. No, but with, with, with, that wasn't even the weirdest part with same said customer, a couple of services later, a couple, uh,
Speaker: I was there and they're like, hey, can you do us a favor? I was like, yeah, sure, whatever. And I was like, yeah, well, I don't think like you. And I'm just like, yeah, sure, whatever. And she was like, do you think you could install this while you're here? And I was thinking like, me being me, I'm thinking like, I'm gonna install like sound system or some shit like that, or I'm gonna put a shelf up.
Speaker: something. And I'm like, yeah, sure. Let me finish what I'm doing, whatever. And I come back in and she's like, here it is. And it was a goddamn stripper pole that they want to put in their living room.
Speaker: like I guess I can install this but I'm not held accountable or liable for I've seen those videos where people yeah those those removable ones those failed videos where the people put in those removable stripper poles and then the first thing I do is sway around in the fucker
Speaker: Yeah, they swing in the fucking thing. I mean, I used to help my customers install stuff. I had one guy that I helped. I helped him do a show in his garage. He was like, hey, I got you here. I need an extra pair of hands. And I was like, okay. And he was like... Believe it or not, a little shit like that. When I worked for my uncle in the company, my grandfather started, that would happen daily.
Speaker: Yeah. Like, well, it was one of those things that I noticed a day and people were like, Hey, can you help me? I'm like, yeah, whatever. And shit like that. Yeah. Never owned. Yeah. I know. Yeah. I know it sounds weird, but it was one of those things that Orkin used to say, really not a good terminology to use, but they said, give them the pickle. Yeah.
Speaker: Like, you know, to do that, you know, go that extra step, bring the trash cans up, help them, help them with a little project if you've got time, whatever. Right. And that's my mentality. It's also the nice thing to do. I mean, you know, because we've all been in that situation where, fuck, I can use an extra pair of your hands, but I'm the only one fucking here.
Speaker: So, you know, you had some of your older customers. Yeah. You had some of your older customers that wasn't taking the trash out or picking up the trash cans because I couldn't. And if I was there and I knew it was their excuses, all my son comes wise, you know, couple of times a week, he takes it out. Well, if I was there in the morning and I knew it was trash day, we're like, Hey, let me take your trash cans out for you.
Speaker: I also, my, my residential customers, I got to know very well. And, you know, they were, you know, they were part of their family, but some of them sometimes had some very weird requests, much like the two webcam chicks that asked me to install. And I'm like, whatever. They happen to be the last dollar a day. I got an extra 10 minutes. I'll, I'll. Yeah.
Speaker: Throwing up for it. I still am like, okay, you guys got to test this thing out. Let me see. Let me get comfortable and get out of this. There's a bunch of ones in my pocket. Well, that's the difference. That's the difference between you and I. You've been asked stuff. Well, there's a, there's a class now that, that people can take it's stripper aerobics.
Speaker: where you work on stripper pole. I think that's hilarious. Yeah, no, I have a I have a actually have a friend of mine down in Tampa. Somebody's asked you to rub their feet for a bit. Summer said I've been asked stuff like help me get dressed, rub my feet. What the hell? That's random. But a friend of mine, she
Speaker: works out. That's what she does. And they do the competitions and stuff like that. But she works in a studio that's owned by Batista's ex wife. Oh, okay. Oh, cool. But um, so I yeah, I mean, it's it's a it's a form of working out her and that another guy I know down there. They're both friends to mine from down there. I know I have no friends.
Speaker: Yeah. He does it too. But he's also extremely gay. My brain shut off for a second. My wife and I, we were doing a sales trip and we were walking around, we had like
Speaker: 45 minutes to kill for lunch or something we'd already eaten and we were just kind of walk around the the town that we were in and there was a strip aerobics place there's a first one I'd ever seen as a let's go in and it looked like a Giant set of monkey bars and I just stood there and I just you know my grip strength on on on a rope or a pole I can you know fuck it no big deal and I Climbed up it and the ladies like do you do this and I'm like no I just
Speaker: I can climb anything. I don't care. But you're not wrong. I truly have no friends. No, I don't either. I have none. No, it's OK. Oh, God. Oh, God. I done did it now. What'd you do? I'm just interrupting the show. Don't mind me. Oh, my back is killing me.
Speaker: I literally got the pride idea this morning. And I was like, you know, it's time. I'm gonna clean out my backyard. Now before dogs, I usually do it once a week. And this past two weeks, I've slacked on it. Because every time I get ready to do it, it starts to piss down rain or something like that. And I'm like, Oh, I don't want to.
Speaker: And I, when I redoed the kitchen, I took the old parts of the kitchen that I didn't use and tossed them out there. So I was out there for a good, uh, hour and a half cleaning out the side and backyard. And my bright idea was like, you know what I need, I need a wheelbarrow. And I went and looked at wheelbarrows and they were extremely expensive for the fact that I use it, you know, maybe three times a month. So I didn't buy it. I just came home and built one.
Speaker: And then I'm shoveling stuff into trash wood, dog shit, everything into the wheelbarrow. And then without fail, I'm halfway done, it starts pissing down rain on me. And I was like, what the fuck? Every time I go to clean this fucking yard, and I just didn't stop, I just kept going. So when I got done, I literally turned on the hose
Speaker: and stood here in the front yard and just hosed myself down, fully clothed. And my wife comes out and she goes, what are you doing? I was like, oh, I'm covered in mud. She's like, stop when it rained. I'm like, no, I had to get this shit done. I have to put in a drain for the air conditioner because it drips right into the backyard and it just created a swamp of mud.
Speaker: So I have to extend the drain into the actual drainage system of the backyard. There's a, it's got a central drain in there and I got to actually tap into it and actually get a hose and all that shit. Cause eventually I want to concrete it. So I can just use it. I was out in the rain. You said you got caught in the rain today too.
Speaker: But it was, it actually got cold down here. Man, it didn't even reach 60 degrees down here today. I came home, I came home because I look forward to this weather. I came home and I turned my AC off and I opened my fucking windows. And it's so comfortable in my house right now. The only time I've seen 60 degrees is in my bedroom. Yeah. Even, even in the rain, it was getting my breeze out.
Speaker: Even in the what? Even in the rain, it was 85 degrees today. Yeah. Well, that's how it used to be down in Charleston. It would rain and still be, but also it'll be blue skies and the sun would be shining and it would just be pouring down rain. December, January hits 70.
Speaker: Yeah, well, that's people around here coats and I'm like, please me for a while. Well, yeah, that's how it was in Charleston. You might wake up in the morning. It would be like, it might be in the thirties or forties in the morning. Like when I would get up to leave at six or seven in the morning, but right 10 or 11 o 'clock, it was already back up 60 seventies. Yeah.
Speaker: But, uh, let's take a real quick break. Uh, I gotta, I gotta fry some chicken. I'm gonna grab a couple, couple more brew skis. Um, when we come back from break.
Speaker: because we got a little long winded and ranting about nonsense because that's what we do. We got Jeff's top five. Yeah. That he rushed and put together. I didn't push it. I didn't push it. I didn't push talking about it this week. I wanted to wait because I built an intro for a reason. Damn it. Yeah. Well, you know,
Speaker: It's kind of on me. I'm the host of the show. I gotta push the segments. I gotta, I gotta get this. I didn't push my segment in the first section. I wanted to wait.
Speaker: like I said that's on me we were some good conversation good topics I pushed it I knew I was watching the time and I was pushing let's do it kind of thing yeah I wasn't like let's do my top five already no I want to push it to the side because I want to I didn't want to fuck up the rhythm or the flow I couldn't think of a a
Speaker: a segue either. So we're going to take a real quick break. We're going to come back. We got just top five when we come back. And we also got what the fuck news, which I guess you didn't prepare at all. You gave me shit. I say I say I didn't prepare at all, but I look I looked at my websites. I've got a couple of stories. Actually, I've got I've got
Speaker: Oh man, I think I might've deleted it. Shit. Either way, I've got a couple of stories. It's all good to do during break. You're not allowed to go take a piss. You must do work. No, I got a couple of stories for you. So we're going to take a little break. Enjoy the sweet sounds of Blacktop Mojo with a woman.
Speaker: It's still a little fuel cover tonight. I feel like we haven't played this in a minute. All right. We'll be right back, guys. Camera's down. Drain horn. On my back.
Speaker: Memories are just where you laid them Drag the waters till the depths give out their debt What did you expect to find? Was it something you left behind? Don't you remember Anything I said when I said Don't find
Speaker: And leave me to myself, don't fall away And leave love bleeding in my hands, in my hands again And leave love bleeding in my hands, in my hands Love lies bleeding
Speaker: Our home and now I feel contagious Am I the only place that you left to go? She cries in life is light Some movie black and white Dead actors fake and lies Over and over and over again She cries, don't fall
Speaker: Don't fall
Speaker: And leave life bleeding in my hands, in my hands again. And leave life bleeding in my hands, in my hands. Love lies bleeding. And I watched as you turned away. And you don't remember what I do.
Speaker: and try Don't fall away and bring me to myself Don't fall away and leave my bleeding in my hand
Speaker: in my hands again and leave love bleeding in my hands in my hands again and leave love bleeding in my hands in my hands again and leave love bleeding
Speaker: Oh, I timed that perfectly. My battery was low. I had to go grab my charger. No, I was at 34, but I think I started at 89, not 98. Of course, we come back from that. I'm apparently dyslexic.
Speaker: Well, my, my battery, my light is dying. That is the biggest problem. Yeah. Well, we bought it as a, we bought it for a hurricane and it's, you know, it's just a little, but you plug it in. You can't use it while it's plugged in. Just kind of stupid. If you plug it in, you can't turn on the light. How dumb is that?
Speaker: What is that? I think I just completely fucked up the whole entire show. Why would you do? I accidentally clicked a button and it refreshed the whole damn thing. Oh, shit. But I didn't fuck it up on Facebook. Oh, well, keep going. So. We're probably good.
Speaker: the cross fingers
Speaker: Yeah, I don't. Yeah. I didn't lose connection at all. I was, I was actually watching, watching on Facebook. I've got, cause I've always got Facebook pulled up. Well, it didn't, didn't drop or anything like that. Your hurricane light story. Yeah. My hurricane light story. It's, it's, it's a weird thing. It's, it's made by Lloyd. L L O Y D Lloyd's sorry. I didn't see the S my mic was in the way.
Speaker: It's a good life, but just like, Lloyd's is great. No, but I think the, the fact that you can't use it while it's plugged in, I mean, I guess you wouldn't need it if it's plugged in. Well, there's that, but except for the fact that I wanted, I, I, we bought it a for hurricane. It's supposed to last six hours on the, on the brightest setting, but, but I was like, you know, even when we're not using for hurricane, if I need a light for the podcast, I can use it.
Speaker: But then I realized you can't use it once plugged in So and I forgot to charge it. So what are you gonna do? You're slacking. Yeah speaking speaking of your top five Mm -hmm Roll the video roll over that beautiful bean food Fuck you up. Yeah. Well, you know, that's just like Your opinion
Speaker: I wanted it to say opinion because it is my opinion. For those watching live, enjoy the visual for those that are listening to this. Oh, by the way, welcome back to nonsensical nonsense. Yeah. If you're not already, go ahead and check us out on social media at nonsensical nonsense on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, Twitch, if you want.
Speaker: Also, if you cut any of this. Go ahead and keep this up, we'll run and get a key. We'll run and go get a key, I got this. Yeah, okay. Also, if you've cut any of this on live and you like what you hear and you want to catch every other episode, feel free to check us out. We're on Anchor, Spotify, Google, Apple, basically anywhere you can get your podcast at. We're there.
Speaker: Also, if you want to email us for any reason, if you want to sponsor the show, if you're that desperate, if you want to know. But if you want to sponsor the show or if you want to be a guest on the show and you don't want to reach out to us on social media, feel free to email us. You can email us at nonsensical nonsense podcast at gmail .com. And I made that just for you guys. Jeff has apparently got a key.
Speaker: I played his little intro, but when Jeff comes back, he's going to do his Jeff's top five. Lord only knows what it's going to be because he doesn't ever tell me anything. He tries to keep it a secret. So, you know, it is what it is. We'll figure it out once he gets here and then we can agree or disagree on what he thinks. I had to pause for a nice refreshing bud light sip.
Speaker: But, uh, you know, usually we do that in the first segment. We got a little long winded tonight talking about other random ass bullshit. So it got pushed to the second segment, which will probably pretty much wrap up the show. We'll do a stop by them. We'll go into my what the fuck news is he liked to call it. And, uh, then we'll call it a night at that point, uh, until Saturday.
Speaker: But as I said, definitely check us out on social media. We're trying to grow and trying to reach more people. If you guys do like what you hear and like what you see, feel free to share it out. Don't be shy, share away, let other people know. We are a little bit off the rails, unscripted, unhinged, and we basically say whatever the hell we want. Don't really worry about other people's
Speaker: I don't want to do that. but what shall we
Speaker: If you are watching the replay, sorry, I'm just kind of floundering here because he left unexpectedly because that's kind of his thing to do. If you are listening to us on one of your podcasts,
Speaker: apps, wherever you get your podcast at and you want to join us live. We do go live every Wednesday and Saturday night at 8 PM Eastern time. You can hang out with us live, come into the chatters box, shoot shit with us a little bit, have a couple of beers with us, whatever don't really matter. Come in here and make fun of us. Like most everybody else does. We're okay with it. We're not sensitive. We're old as shit. So we grew up in the Thunderdome. We don't get butt hurt over.
Speaker: Fucked up comments. I guess like my fiance. What about my fiance? See you in the chatters box. My fiance's in the summer. Welcome pretty girl.
Speaker: Looks like Jeff might be back Yeah, I'm back I had to get the new gate keys because like I said, they did change them And they changed the wall the driving gate key, too So I had to go pick up pick them up Or else I have to chase the guy down for three days Why did you have to go pick them up? Oh, they're just over here by the pool. Oh
Speaker: Oh man, I'm going to have to move. Oh, the, the, the, the guy that the head of the HOA. But again, why didn't you have to go pick them up? It's not like we're not right in the middle of doing anything. I know. Well, because if I did not have to chase him down for the next three days, let me move inside real quick. Cause it's starting to rain. You still did not answer my question.
Speaker: Because if I didn't, I would be three days without being able to leave. Why couldn't your wife go pick up the keys is where I was getting at. I know what you're saying. I got it. Jesus Christ. Oh, I got exactly what you said. Man alive. There we go. Now you're starting to back my door. Yeah, swing it around.
Speaker: as if we did already start out with enough problems tonight. Because Juan couldn't go get the keys. That's because Juan's too busy dicking his wife down. All right, I can sit in the rain, but I don't want the camera and the mic in the rain. His wife couldn't go do it. Yeah, that would be asking too much. Because she doesn't have the stamina
Speaker: I'm gonna it's actually really starting to rain. Let me move my stuff in I'm gonna I'm gonna move myself in too because it's starting to piss down What is this? I'm not taking a shower while doing a podcast
Speaker: All right. Trying to do this one handed. All right, I'm back, I'm back. There we go.
Speaker: Can you see me okay? Yeah, I can see it. Okay. Dead air. I should have just like put on like Rocky or something. What chocolates are you bringing up? If you got any left, the caramels and the crisp would be nice. What are you talking about? Parker smelling candy bars for school. Oh, nice. I want one, send me one.
Speaker: It'll get here. We all melted. Just send me a pool of chocolate, please. All right. Now I'm ready to do the top five. Are you, are you sure? You want to roll that beautiful bean footage one more time. I want to roll the beautiful bean footage one more time.
Speaker: Okay. Jeff, for you, how many of you, it'll be $300 due to shipping costs for one bar. That'd be the problem. God. Let me run this random nonsense again. That's just like, uh, your opinion, man.
Speaker: Okay, what is your top five? Today yeah is top five comedy sitcoms and this is the excludes, you know Things are not supposed to be funny but are Number five, of course being friends and I put it around five because I used to like it But once I discovered new shows, it's not as funny and doesn't hold up
Speaker: Number four would have to be, it's not really a sitcom, but I'm counting it as Rick and Morty. False and fake. Number three would be, my name is Earl. And number two, how I met your mother. And the number one, and my wife completely agrees with me, raising hope.
Speaker: Uh, out of your top five, uh -huh. I'm going to go ahead and give you my little critique in my opinion. My name is Earl should be number one on your top five. I don't know. Raising. Should you even be in the top 100? No, you're a fucking 20 year olds owner. Fucking loser living in his mom's basement. Raising hope in a top five comedy. Really? Yeah. Come on, man.
Speaker: Yeah, I think it's hilarious for season top. Genius. Yeah. It's my opinion. Hence why I put in the intro for the top five. That's like your opinion, man.
Speaker: That was a horrible top five. I'm going to be honest with you. That was your number one. That was a horrible top five. As comedy only. Comedy only. You did a top five comedy sitcom or top five television show and you didn't even have scrubs in there. Oh, I totally forgot about scrubs. I'm going to change the word for scrubs. I'll change the word for scrubs and I actually move scrubs up to number two. You didn't have psych in there.
Speaker: Psych is the problem I have with psych is I still haven't seen it all where I'm talking about shows. I've literally watched every season, every episode, multiple times. That was that's why that's that's why it is just top five. But yeah, that was that was bad tonight. Yeah, I'm not not my best effort. But but I did, like I said, this was the bottom line.
Speaker: So you, so you had your top five friends, Rick and Morty. Okay. I'm switching out for scrubs. I'm switching out from scrubs and moving scrubs up one to my name is Earl. So, so it'd be friends. My name is Earl scrubs. Uh, hi about your brother and then how raising hope. I would have, I would, man. Uh,
Speaker: and raising hope and scrubs are really close to switching places. I would put probably I don't know. This is just my opinion. This is your this is your top five and you know, you have your opinion and I have my opinion and my opinion is that you you're a dog face blind. You really dropped the ball tonight, Jeff. I dropped the shower on this one. My wife my wife and I are literally sitting here.
Speaker: going over shows and we, we literally drew blanks. Yeah. Well, that's when you wait to do it last minute. Yes. That is the problem. And I didn't write them down. So I was trying to remember them, but, um, what would be your number one though, for a comedy though? Out of your list? No, in general. I don't know, man. Cause
Speaker: It's a hard, as I explained to my wife, it's a hard. I think, I think, I think one, two and three. There's so many good shows out there. One, two and three in no particular order would be Scrubs, How I Met Your Mother, and My Name is Earl. I love My Name is Earl. And I like to do, and I literally introduced it to my wife today. I showed her the trailer. And like I said, in no particular order. I'm trying to get her to watch it.
Speaker: She loves raising hope and the nice thing about raising hope and my name is roles are basically the same show. It takes place. It takes place in the same town. And it's the same writers and create very similar shot. I think I would don't friend. Well, actually, I would probably dump raising hope and throw fresh prints in there.
Speaker: Oh, oh, oh, really? Yeah, we watched it lately. Fresh Prince. Yeah, I've tried to rewatch it like six times. I can't get into it. Oh, that's because you're racist. No, it was a great show when it came out. But only certain parts hold up. The problem I have with friends, the problem I have with friends is it doesn't hold up. I was never I was never
Speaker: big friends like I like the show. I love Joey. I thought Joey was great. Yeah, like I like Joey and I love Phoebe. Joey and Phoebe were two of my favorite characters. I just I just could never get into friends because certain shows and friends is one of those shows that
Speaker: when they and even to a certain degree, how I met your mother was the same way. They would deliver jokes. This is why I fucking hate Seinfeld. That shows terrible. I can't stand it. I cannot stand it. So goddamn funny. You're stupid. I don't think I've ever made it through a full episode of Seinfeld because they would deliver a joke and then they would stop.
Speaker: And you can see that pause. They're waiting. They're waiting. Or you wait for the clap track to stop. Yeah, exactly. And it's like, yeah, we get it. It's supposed to be funny, but it wasn't. Yeah, that's the thing that I didn't make. I'm with you there. I have a problem with that when it comes to comedies. But if you ever watched, there's a YouTube video out there, and they showed comedies where they've re -edited them without the laugh track.
Speaker: and without the pauses. So it's like, Chandler's like, Oh, we can all go to the beach. And there's no pause. It's just we can all go to the beach and then have fun. And it's eerie. And the one is the eeriest is that 70 show. And what's the other one?
Speaker: The one, the creepiest one is a big bang theory is super creepy without the laugh track. Yeah. I don't, I like big bang theories are, you know what? I would probably, I would probably even take friends out and put that 70 show in there. So raising would accept for it. The problem I have with that 70 show, the final season sucks so many balls. It was retarded. The final season killed it for me. That's why it doesn't make the top five. I'm talking about.
Speaker: In the shows that I picked, every season that I've seen of them are good. There's no bad season where the final season of the 70s show just ugh. Yeah. I'm just saying this as far as tonight goes. I have failed you. You have failed. Shame. Shame.
Speaker: I plan on doing a top five epic shows where I can add Game of Thrones because that shit's fucking amazing. How about we just go ahead and cancel that top five right now? Oh, no, dude. Game of Thrones is the shit. The final season really kind of went downhill. You have thoroughly fucked up your camera. No, did I?
Speaker: Yeah. We can literally just see your mouth. There you go. Leave it right there. Don't touch it. Yeah. Uh -oh. Oh, you got your Nicholas hair, Kate. You got your Nicholas Cage hair back tonight. Yeah, I did. Gonna take his face off. I love that fucking movie, man. Oh, thank you, baby. That movie's awesome. Someone gave us a...
Speaker: a high award or a slap in the face. What's going on, James? Probably the latter. She bitch slapped us both. Well, I'm going to go fry some chicken real quick. When I get done frying some chicken, 20 cents. Oh, sweet. And then we'll all fuel up the jet while you do that. Yeah, fuel up the jet because we got some travel to do tonight. Excellent. Excellent.
Speaker: No, it's back on subject of TV shows, like I said, uh, friends finale was decent. Um, the only problem I have with the raising hope ending is they could have gone more seasons. They just got canceled. So, but what are you going to do? That shows genius. I think we've seen it what four times now. We're actually watching season three as we, as we speak.
Speaker: What show is it? Raising Hope. We're watching it again. You're on that Raising Hope kick right now. You're killing these smiles.
Speaker: I pulled that one today. I said that today to my wife. I'm literally bringing stuff up and I knocked on the door and she's like, hold on, because she had the door locked. And I was like, you're killing me, Smalls. I'm holding I'm holding two things. My hands were full. I'm like, you're killing me, Smalls. And she's like, what? James, I think I think Summer. I think she likes that shit's great. I do kind of want to watch this show, but I've heard about it. It looks funny.
Speaker: But I haven't seen it. Without further ado. Oh. Jet field ready. Where we heading? What are you doing? So listen to this. Listen to this. Okay, listen.
Speaker: Gotta have the good I do that just for you Just to make me smile Let's uh Let's go out to uh berlin because you know, everybody loves the germans. Oh z jamans are here That is trump. You are correct. James. Yes
Speaker: He's a frequent guest. Now that he's not in the White House, he has time now. He has something to say on our show. Trump and Biden hang out on nonsensical nonsense quite a bit. All the time. Well, Biden's not doing anything anyway, so he might as well. And Trump, he's not in office. He doesn't even know where he's at at this point.
Speaker: kidnapped him. Give us a little intros. Yeah, right. All the way in Berlin, Germany. A storytelling box foils a kindergarten thief. A storytelling box? Yes, sir. So Germany, the German police say they have solved a bird yearly. But why is that word so hard for me?
Speaker: I struggled on this one last time.
Speaker: And the plural of it, you just can't do plurals. Hey, well, let's just say German police say they have solved a guy's attempt at burgling. Stealing stuff. Just say stealing stuff. Supercalifragilisticexpidaleocious. You can't say that one either. You said it wrong. I can't say a lot of fucking things. I can't say constitutionally. Oh, I just didn't say it. But anyways. You just proved yourself wrong.
Speaker: You have a jackass. Anyways, the German police spoiled some guy who tried to burgle a kindergarten classroom. Police said on Tuesday that 44 year old suspect had stolen various items during a break in at a kindergarten in the Western town of Holver.
Speaker: In April, among them were a laptop, pictures, books, cups, glasses, some fish sticks, pasta, and a smart speaker. He literally sold people's lunches. What a fucking bully. We were like fucking fish sticks. My mom made those special for me. James said, fish sticks? Are you kidding me?
Speaker: $1 .99 go fucking buy me fucking pieces The guy got hungry while he burgled He also stole a
Speaker: At least it is still the tater tots. Well, that's because Napoleon had him in his cargo pocket. Yeah, cargo pants. Yeah. But he also stole a smart speaker for playing children's stories. When the man tried to download news stories onto the device a month later, it sent his home location to the manufacturers to inform the police.
Speaker: Police said the device has since been returned in working condition to the kindergarten class Where it was eagerly received by the children. There's no fairy tale ending for the suspect. However, he faces criminal charges. I would hope so Where are the fish sticks? What happened to the fish sticks?
Speaker: He's going to get his ass beat in jail because he's like, wait, you stole fish sticks. Get him. Fish sticks and pasta. You son of a bitch. He's going to get a lot of fish sticks. I totally get, I got a fish stick for you. Bob, come here. Yeah. Why is bobbing Germany stealing? It'd be Hans. Bob really gets around. Bob moves. Bob owns multiple businesses.
Speaker: and gets around. He, he's, he hits us a ride on our private jet. Fucking Bob better start paying for that private jet. Fucking pilot, which is why we don't have our own airline. James, James said Hans and Franz are going to fish stick him up.
Speaker: He's going to feel like pasta when they're done. Speaking of speaking of schools. Speaking of our private jet. Where are we going? In Berlin and go to one of my favorite cities. I hate this goddamn place. We're going to Boston. They asked him.
Speaker: hold on bob take us to boston oh wait the fish stick bandit is our fucking pilot yeah that's why i said he's our pilot bob's our pilot jesus christ fish sticks and take us to boston we got the uh pocket by the car and we'll go to the bar
Speaker: I wish I could do a Boston accent, but that accent just I've punched myself in the face if I could if I It's as much as you hate the accent It's a hard accent to pull off and anybody that can pull it off properly. It's impressive to me. Yeah well anywho in Boston
Speaker: fucking hate Boston. I don't even hate Boston, Boston. I just hate the people there. Like, you know, the car will go to the bar. Anyways, comical topical.
Speaker: Party bus leaves the day for a school field trip. Nice. A group of high school students in Massachusetts had to ride on a party bus, complete with a stripper pole and neon lights during a recent field trip. Now it's a field trip. An experience. You see a bunch of kids getting out to go to the ATM.
Speaker: I don't know. It's a **** disgusting accident but
Speaker: uh yeah so the party bus complete with a stripper pole and neon lights during a recent field trip an experiencer teacher said highlights the problems with the educational system gym mayors and an 11th grade advanced placement language and composition wow you have way too many words in your fucking title you're an english teacher jim you're an english teacher jim calm down yeah calm down there chief stop trying to be woke about your english
Speaker: But the English teacher at the Brook Charter School in Boston said in the since -deleted tweet that the original charter bus had fallen through. It is a funny story, but there's actually a real bus shortage and it speaks to major flaws in our educational system.
Speaker: he said, adding that the field chef was a success. Of course it was a success. Of course it was. There was a stripper bowl. Sally, jump up there. I got a buck. He's now using the attention he's getting because of the original tweet to urge people to better understand educational inadequacies and other. Why can't I say that? But I can't say burglary. Well, here's the crazy thing. If that bus showed up, why didn't they call another charter company?
Speaker: what when that when that strip that party bus showed up why didn't that I mean we're talking about 11th graders I'm sure a couple of them have vehicles but here's it here's the same thing at the end of the day it's a charter bus company did all of their charter bus break down at the same time on the same that's true yeah
Speaker: But, uh, you know, anyways, why didn't this teacher go, you know what? There's only 12 of us. Let's take fucking cars. I got a van. Yeah. You got, you got to pick up. Everybody jump in the bed. Let's go. Yeah. As he continues to say, you know, it faces, uh, he wants people to understand the educational inadequacies and other problems facing the nation's schools. He says, I'm worried that there's too much attention being paid.
Speaker: to the tweet itself or simply the fact that it went viral instead of attending to the many systematic issues that are facing not just my students, but students all across the country, he wrote a follow up tweet. For example, districts across the nation are struggling to hire enough drivers to shuttle kids
Speaker: to school and sometimes become creative, including Massachusetts, which is enlisted in the National Guard to drive school transport vans. I see the problem is it's not to get too political, but it's it's almost you make almost the same amount of money staying home on welfare. Yeah.
Speaker: Thank you, Joe Biden. Well, it's not even, it's not even welfare. It's just unemployment at this rate. We're making so much money, just staying at home, collecting unemployment that they're not willing to work. Yeah. So you can make $18 an hour driving the school bus with the 52 asshole kids, or you make $70 an hour, sit home on your ass and watch Netflix, Netflix, you know? Yeah. But, um,
Speaker: His original tweet he wrote that or he wrote was just meant to give his fellow teachers a laugh. If it's gotten people to talk about the overall infrastructure of our educational system and the different ways schools are prioritizing, then that's good too, he wrote. I said all them big ass fucking words and now I'm stuck.
Speaker: It's not even luxury. It's he urged readers to attend their next local school board meeting or read up on the topic. You can't say local. I can't say local, but I can say it's time to stop drinking. Yeah, I can say all these big ass once again, unless the driver Bob showed up handing out, you know, change for $10 bills and ones, I don't see the problem. Well,
Speaker: Yeah, because who wouldn't want to go? I mean, field trips are bad enough when you're on a school bus. You know, there's nothing to fucking do at least on a party bus. Like turn on the lights, you know, Sally jump up there. I got a buck. You know, I went out for the, for the field trip itself. There's a, um,
Speaker: There's a charter bus or whatever you want to call it. I went out a few months ago when I met a guy that I met off TikTok who lives just down the road from me. And I went over to his house, I was talking about it. He was doing the whole you hulk we drink deal out in front of his house. And then just out of nowhere, it was like, oh, it's got a Buckeye Lake and girl, Papa Boo.
Speaker: none of us can fucking drive out there right now. He's like, don't worry about it. I got it. It was like this little shore bus, a little retard bus pulled up. And, uh, you know, we, we all jumped on it and they had, they're the, they, I don't know why they had a stripper pole on it, but they had a stripper pole on it. And it was literally just four dudes that, that were on there. It was the four of us. Well, this is awkward. Who's climbing on that? Well, one of them.
Speaker: One of the guys did it was actually pretty funny but uh, but uh, you know, so we And we're like, what do you want to listen to music wise? And we were like, ah, this is so they put it on they pranked it up and we would they like they let us bring beer on there why so you could drink on the way there and Then we they had the music on and we was just singing along and having a good time Party buses are are like airport shell style buses
Speaker: Yeah, well, that's what this one. They're actually E350s. Yeah, this was like legitimately a short bus. This is like a little tiny van, basically. Well, that's not really a van. Like I said, they're like E350 vans with a camper.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, that's exactly what this word. It's it's seats, you know, and they usually face the stripper pole. Yeah. Well, well, they were just like, oh, yeah, like a massive RV limo. Yeah. Well, in the charter that we got, it literally may have only sat like 10 people, if that's what they if that's what they if that's what showed up for their charter for this school.
Speaker: Like I said, being that it only holds, let's call it 15 to be pragmatic. Yeah. Why didn't he be like, look, you got a car, you got a car, you got a car, everybody getting your fucking cars will drive. Well, yeah.
Speaker: it's it's it's one of those things safety thing though yeah it's it you know that's yeah at the end of the day it's it's a school thing it's a school function uh they they had they had a transportation lined up and it fell through but at the end of the day you thank you enter transportation lined up with a charter bus company and the they didn't have any other
Speaker: Well, that, and, and then it falls back. And we are, our charter bus broke down or our driver's not in, uh, we'll send over the party bus and it's, you know, we don't have time to take out the stripper pole. So deal. Well, that could, that could be true too, but, um, I, yeah, I don't know. It's, it was more of a, the, the, the, the whole thing beyond the story was a more of.
Speaker: Let's look at our educational system and realize that it's kind of fucked up. Oh, it is. And that's not even the worst story I've heard about educational shit. I mean, that's actually a lighthearted one compared to what I normally hear. Thank you for pumping my stuff. I thought they went to bed like an hour ago. They did. Talking to mom.
Speaker: Yeah. Anywho, while we're hanging out in Boston, I got another Boston story for you. The Boston's famous skinny house sells for a nice fat price.
Speaker: skinny house. Yeah. Oh yeah. I this house and I actually know about this house just because I'm weird like that and it's one of those little weird. It's taller than it is wide. Yeah. So yeah but here's the the Boston famous skinny house has sold for a nice fat price. The home in the city's north end hit the market in August for one point two million dollars.
Speaker: Holy crap. And the deal was closed Thursday for $1 .25 million, according to Zillow. The home received multiple offers and more than 100 agreements in price and less than one week. Real estate agency CL Properties posted on Facebook. The four -story home built in 1862. So it's an historical landmark.
Speaker: It's facade. It's facade. It's facade. It's facade. It's facade. It sounds like an S. Facade, facade, tomato, tomato. It's embossed. It all sounds the same anyway. So it's a facade. Yeah. Anyways. Back to the facade. According to the plaque on the facade for fancy people like Jeff,
Speaker: according to the plaque on the on the faqade of the house
Speaker: It's not fancy. That's fucking pronunciation. Pronunciation. It's pronunciation. It's pronunciation, damn it. I like how you're going to yell at me. It's pronunciation. At least do it properly. It's shit like that. It's when people butcher something like that. My head explodes. I become a snowflake and I melt. I'm triggered, damn it. You got me triggered like a fucking weapon. Anyways.
Speaker: The home is about 1 ,165 square feet. Oh, fuck it is. Square meters, even though it is about 10 feet, three meters wide at its widest point, and it narrows back to about 9 .25 feet or 2 .8 meters for the people who use meters or meters is three foot.
Speaker: Yeah. So 9 .25 feet is 2 .8 meters. Yeah. That's the small dude. Yeah.
Speaker: It has two bedrooms, one bathroom, and includes a private deck with a view of the Boston Harbor. The home does not have a front door. Instead, residents enter through the side door. It was last sold in 2017. It doesn't have a front door when you jump through the window. Pretty much. It's a side door. Welcome to my home. Jump through the window. The home last sold in 2017 for $900 ,000. It is also known as the spite house.
Speaker: According to the plaque, according to local lore, two brothers inherited some land. When one of them joined the army, the other built a large house that took up most of the land. When the soldier brother returned, he built the skinny, the skinny house to block his brother's view of the sunlight. Nice. That's brotherly love for you right there. Right. Welcome to Boston motherfucker.
Speaker: You want to be an asshole and take up all the land that was inherited to us? Well, fuck you. Watch this. Hold my beer. Hold my beer. I got this. Hell yeah. No, that goes along with the swamp house. It was filled out of spite. Yeah, exactly. Two properties we need to buy.
Speaker: Well, I don't think either one of us have 1 .25 million dollars and let's, let's hit the water tonight. Yeah. Well, if you hit the water tonight, you know, you buy that house and, and then buy me the swamp house. Okay. I'll buy you the skinny house and I'm going to buy the swamp house because you're scared. Yeah, exactly. I'll be like, oh, it's good. I think the little fucking house, I don't care.
Speaker: I'm moving in here motherf -
Speaker: I don't want to live in Boston. So you must live in Boston. Once again, it's all about spite. You won the fucking lottery. You can fucking buy me the good house. And you know what? And you know what? I'm going to live in that skinny house. And when you're scared and pissing your pants, I'm like, sorry, Jeff. I gave you the choice.
Speaker: This is what you took because you wanted to be a smart ass. It'd be spiteful. So now you get to live in there. You're going to have to pay gas on the private jet then. I ain't getting for shit. Fuck Bob's putting gas in there. He stole fish sticks. Bob is about 575 different businesses. Bob can afford to put gas in the private jet. Bob's going to buy us those houses, man.
Speaker: Bob, get on that **** I literally turned to talk to him. He's not here. Bob, god damn it. Good thing we stayed. Well, you gotta grab him up because uh we're we're uh actually we're not we're not traveling anywhere. We're not traveling anywhere. I just I just like the story that I wanna bring up. Okay.
Speaker: We was, we was earlier in the show, we was talking about TikTok and, you know, you make videos and, and you work really hard on them. And sometimes they, and then they just kind of flop. And then the ones that you don't care about, they blow up and this, that and the other thing. There's a guy, he did it. He does drawings and each drawing takes over 200 hours and they look like photographs. He gets like 12 views, this poor bastard. So.
Speaker: And that goes along with trends. Yes. TikTok trends, viral trends, whatever. Yeah. Well, these stupid ass fucking kids have a new trend and it's stealing stuff from schools. And it started out with simple like, yeah, like something simple like, oh, I'm going to steal a pencil sharpener, blah, blah, blah. Well, it is since escalated.
Speaker: into stealing bathroom stalls, bathroom sinks, you know, whatever they can, water fountains, drinking fountains to where schools are now legitimately locking down the bathrooms and nobody can use them.
Speaker: or turning off the draining fountains and this and the other thing because nobody can use them because there's a there's this trend where these asshole kids are just vandalizing and trashing the fucking school for life's follows well actually i saw i saw a teacher posted uh she's look i get it you guys are
Speaker: just trying to be funny, but somebody please bring back my clock. And somebody fucking duetted it with a clock ticking. He's holding a clock. I'm like, you're going to get blamed for that motherfucker. Well, this is the thing. This is the thing. You're vandalizing a school. Oh, yeah. I mean, you get caught. That's vandalism.
Speaker: And you're recording it and putting on social media. Guess what that is? Because schools are federally and state owned. Oh, that's a felony. Ooh. And you did it all. Hope you enjoy those likes because they ain't going to help me from Bob. Bob likes them.
Speaker: What is Bob doing in jail? Bob's supposed to. He's still he's still in fucking fish sticks and pasta, so he's in jail. God damn it, Bob. Great. How the hell are you supposed to take over? Where am I going to buy a bed, a kitchen stove and a and a laptop if Bob's in jail? No, I guess we're fucked. We'll get from Mark Rick and Steve's.
Speaker: I know Bob got a lot of likes and follows from his big TikTok video. That might help him when he's locked up at a state penitentiary. Yeah. He'll get plenty of likes. All right. Like, wow. I like it when you drop that soap, Bob. Yeah, Bob. Don't drop the soap there, Bob. Yeah. But yeah, that's like, that's like the new thing. I got fried chicken real quick. But that's the new thing. Like these kids are legitimately.
Speaker: vandalizing, basically stay proper. Yeah, which, I mean, I don't know if I ever told you this, but I got in trouble once for using one of those, our school buses at Clear Fork had CB radios. And they were supposed to set up a one channel, but you could change the channel. And me and a couple of buddies of mine, we were on a field trip during FFA, and we started telling jokes over the radio.
Speaker: And not only did we get in trouble for taking over a police channel, but we also got a fine from FCC. Yeah. So we ended up having to split a $10 ,000 bill. Yeah. I mean, schools are state federally funded and you know,
Speaker: I don't know. I don't get this generation of kids. I know I did some dumb stuff when I was a kid. Walmart's still looking for us. We didn't record it. There was no evidence. There was no pictures. They can't prove it.
Speaker: well i mean they can because they can go back multiple episodes where we admit it but the statute of limitations i'm sure is gone at any moment walmart police is going to knock on my door and i'm going to turn into fucking al capone it never took me a long time copper listen to me
Speaker: I hope you like my Tommy gun. They're like, you know what, forget it. The batteries are long dead. Yeah. We we've, we've, we've more than made our money back from, from those eight double A batteries that you, we've paid.
Speaker: I pay back those batteries like 50 times over stupid shit that Walmart puts at the end of the aisle and I'm like, ooh, I need that. And then I get home and go, fuck, why did I buy this? Yeah, exactly. But that's all I have in news for tonight because. All right. I'm going to send Bob to back to jail. I broke him out. Go back to solitary, you bastard, with your fucking fish sticks and your pasta from Boston.
Speaker: Bob's on a work release program. That's it. He may own the businesses. He's got people working for the businesses, but he's on work release. It's his community service to fly us around.
Speaker: Oh, Bob, you could, uh, we're going to allow you to leave to go, uh, go fly these idiots around for nonsense. Well, nonsense. To Germany, out of the country, out of jurisdiction. Go ahead, Bob.
Speaker: go to Germany and come back to Boston. You know, where are we going next week? We won't know until we get where we go on Saturday. Don't worry about it, Bob. I'll let you know. I'll let you know when you get to the tarmac or whatever the fuck they call it. Tarmac. Yeah. Tarmac. My bad. I pronounced it wrong. Yeah. I don't know what it is about that, but I was literally watching a video
Speaker: a video and somebody kept saying somebody's name wrong. And I'm not saying this is who they were using, but they were saying Elon Musk or something, but they were saying Elon Musk. And I was like, it's not Musk, it's Musk. Yeah, but how many people's names do you... No, but I'm talking about a common name that you hear 400 times a day, like they're saying Steve Jobs or somebody super famous, but they're pronouncing the name wrong.
Speaker: Yeah, but you pronounce people's names wrong all the time. I'm allowed. I'm a small, we're a small podcast. We're okay. But it's okay for me to do it. But if I hear somebody, I'm like, Oh my God.
Speaker: My brain explodes. It's kinda weird. Well, then I can pronounce words wrong. Fakade. No, you can't. I'm telling you. Chatter's box, back me up. It's facade. Who's right, Chris or me? Apparently, we have some racist Nazi in the Chatter's box on YouTube, so. Nice. They're not helping you right now. Yeah, well, fuck them. Pretty much. I won't watch The Departed now.
Speaker: or good anything with a Boston accent I need to watch that tip tonight I'll watch what's in the town with Ben Affleck that's a fucking good movie stupid in it good movie I don't know if I've ever seen the departed the departed holy shit
Speaker: Jack Nicklaus, Matt Damon, Leo DiCaprio, Mark Wahlberg. If I can go grab everybody in Boston and they're like, hey, we're filming a movie. You want to be in it? Yeah, pretty much. That's what happened. Yeah. But yeah. Well, Boondock Saints takes place in Boston. Yeah, but they're Irish. But nobody does the accent.
Speaker: really super deep in that movies. Yeah, I know. Cause there's a good say cause well, the boys are Irish. Yeah, they're Irish. Yeah. The guys are Irish and you know, they, all their friends are pretty much Irish and well, uh, what's his name? Um, Marco's not he's Italian. Yeah. Well,
Speaker: It's just not it's not it's it's even though it's Boston it doesn't feel like Boston because the only one Dolly definitely and greenly are the only one that have Boston accents is it's not it. They're they're not even that strong. Yeah I just don't know what it is about that accent man. I Love that accent. I mean don't be wrong. I don't want to sleep with a chick talking like that But I'll listen to a dude talk like that all day long. I
Speaker: So basically what you said is I don't want to sleep with the chick with the Boston accent In the in the movie was I think it was Ted to you ever heard a Boston woman I'm an orgasm. Oh my god Yeah
Speaker: Basically, if a guy with a Boston accent is like, I'm going to park my car in your back door, whatever, and you're like, eh? If Ryan Reynolds was a Boston, I'd be like, what's up, dude? I like them apples. My wife said, well, Ryan Reynolds is the man. Apparently, he's my free pass.
Speaker: Yeah, he's Canadian, he's not Boston. Yeah, he's very Canadian. On that note, would Jeff willing to bang a Boston dude with his accent? I feel like this is a safe place to end the show.
Speaker: Yeah, I was actually just gonna ask you how we're doing on time, but yeah Nothing on my end I was just curious My wife's in here changing clothes. I'm kind of getting excited. Um, you don't want to see that That's a that's for a different podcast or video Your porn video that I'm gonna have to look so I can publish it
Speaker: Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna find it if you're born it was out there I will find it tick -tock the shit out of it the exterminators here
Speaker: I'm here to kill the bugs and your pussy. Trust me, there was no porno made with the bug guy. Kill the bugs and your pussy.
Speaker: I heard you guys were looking for an exterminator. How would you like to pay for that? Oh my gosh, we have no money. How old are we? We got a stripper pole. Well, I got a couple bucks. No, trust me, it was nothing like that.
Speaker: with with with those with those uh I think they just didn't I mean in all honesty they weren't my type I didn't find them attractive in any way shape or form and and and and as we've as we've said many times before I'm a hundred percent clueless like yeah that's true I mean because seriously as soon as you said it I was like I've seen this movie
Speaker: So I was like, yeah, I'll install you. Jeff Lebowski and the big Lebowski says, she's like, uh, Julianne Moore says, you can see the terrible storyline. And he's like, I'm here to fix that cable. She says that you could see where it goes from here. He goes, he fixes the cable.
Speaker: Well, there's that, there's that TikTok video where it's like, oh, your engine's blown. Yeah, but I can think of something else that would like to be blown. Your tires are kind of bald. It's not the only thing that's bald.
Speaker: Yeah, that's me. I saw one the other day is this chick dancing. She's in this little skinny bikini and the audio all of a sudden goes, he's over here looking at tits! I was like, thank God I'm weird by myself. Yeah, let's go ahead and wrap up. I'm gonna eat some more. I'm hungry. I made spaghetti, sorta.
Speaker: What do you mean, sort of? Well, I started making sauce for spaghetti, right? And I realized I only had one 200 gram packet of spaghetti, which is not enough to feed six people. So I also, on top of the spaghetti, I boiled
Speaker: bow tie pasta too. Yeah. So it's kind of a, it's a bow tie pasta slash spaghetti. Just enough to make it everything I need enough to feed all six of us. Perfect. Like I said, as usual, my spaghetti turned out amazing. But what I find funny is how long does it take you to make a pasta and sauce?
Speaker: 10 minutes. Exactly. Right. I literally finished cooking everything. And my brother -in -law turned to my wife and said, Jeff cooks really fast. And I'm like, it's fucking pasta. It's not like I'm doing a four course meal here is because the other day I cooked, I made
Speaker: chicken in the air fryer with instant mashed potatoes and frozen vegetables. I did it in like 15 minutes because the air fryer took 15 minutes. And they're like, wow, that was quick. I'm like, I'm not doing any work here, guys. It's instant mashed potatoes. You heat up the milk and put the mashed potatoes in and mix it.
Speaker: Frozen vegetables you heat them up Set the timer walk away Emerald legacy over here exactly. I'm not saying But they were all impressed and I was like out of all the things I do that impressed you guys that that should impress you guys This is the one you pick. What the fuck?
Speaker: I'm over here doing stunts on a BMX bike and everybody's like, yeah, seen it. Fuck you. I was dying. But I cook a meal in under 10 minutes. Whoa. Yeah. Calm down. I'm so bored right now. But yes, as I said, we're going to go in this. Yeah.
Speaker: So I need Jeff to shut up for five seconds. Sorry. I wanted to leave early. Yeah, it was because it's Saturday. You know, the difference between a Subaru and a tampon or, or better yet, you know, a difference between a Ford and a tamponist.
Speaker: What Jeff? Tampon comes with his own toe rope. It's all fun and jokes until your daughter starts her baby. I forgot you had daughters. Tell them that joke. They'll get it. Especially when you're standing next to Pops. Tell it to Pops while your daughters are there. They'll laugh.
Speaker: Think I'm gonna fly you up here and tell them and I'm like Jeff told me this really cool joke Not my psychopath daughters But
Speaker: Let's rock out some blacktop mojo. That is the end of the show, fuckers. Jeff, shut the fuck up. We appreciate you guys hanging out with us. Those of you who watch us live in the chatters box, mucho gracias. Ooh, let's go to Chris and check out the Spanish. Yeah. Uh, those of y 'all. I'm not impressed. You're like, what the hell did he just say? Meanwhile, you've worked on that.
Speaker: Uh, those of you guys checking out the, the, uh, the, uh, podcast, uh, replay. Thanks. Uh, again, I had to, all of our new followers on Instagram and Twitter and Tik TOK and Facebook and all that jazz. Thanks for checking us out. Thanks for liking us. Thanks for the support. If you're not already. Go make sure you check this out on social, social. You are right.
Speaker: Thank you. Go check us out on all social media at nonsensical nonsense on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube. Sorry, my wife did something. My wife did something that I can't tell you about. I'll tell you about it later. Not on the podcast, but oh my God, I've left my dick off over here.
Speaker: And nonsensical nonsense coming out with us every Wednesday, Saturday night so you can see what happens in the live chatters box. Also, if you have joined the live or if a friend of yours has told you to check us out, check us out. We're at nonsensical nonsense on Spotify.
Speaker: anchor google jesus this is the hardest outro i've ever fucking done it's hard to listen to it's hard to say it like you said this 43 times already go check out every episode of nonsensical nonsense on anchor spotify google
Speaker: Apple, anywhere you get your podcast jollies, make sure you follow us on social media. Go give us a like and go give Jeff a thumb and for whatever reason, you want to email us if you want to sponsor this fucking shit show or if you want to come on this dumpster fire show, feel free to email us. Lots and lots of podcasts that she will not come.
Speaker: oh that was the oh my god i you know what i'm gonna start turning your camera off so i can't even see you i'm telling you if you could see what i'm seeing right now you'd be laughing too but i can't tell you about it because it's and i can't tell you apparently we'd get blocked we'd get blocked and divorced apparently i'm being told
Speaker: You'll have to tell me about it off air and then I'll bring it up Saturday on there. Probably. And we had shitty britches in here earlier. If you're worried about what your wife is doing. Hashtag shitty britches. Hashtag shitty britches. But we're going to close the show out with a little Blacktop Mujo. Go follow those guys on all social media at BlacktopMojo and you can get all their music. Basically anywhere you get music at, just search BlacktopMojo.
Speaker: Killer Band. Amazing musicians. And because I'm lazy and it's the first thing that popped up. We'll go with that one.
Speaker: Only by the lessons that I have learned Such a match to a bridge it's always gonna burn And I'm lost even when I'm staring at the man My only wish now so I can take it all back And I've robbed everything from hill to Houston Only thing on my mind now is keep on shooting
Speaker: I'm immortal now, people, legends never die You got me quiet now, yeah, you think you are But finally you're just an exfoliating my gun Well, finally you're just an exfoliating my gun
Speaker: Even the burn of whiskey won't kill my pain. Then the moon gets full and the coyote cries. These men are out tripping by greedy lies. You see that smoking gun in my hand as the bodies drop into the desert sand.
Speaker: Yeah, I just keep on running It's time to come and spring out through the air Anything in front of my guns don't have a plan And bullets spread out into the sky But I'm immortal now, baby, let's just never die
Speaker: Well, probably you're just an exponent in my game
Speaker: And one time you're just an egg, but it ain't my cut
