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Redefining Bravery and the Power of Failing Boldly with Eva zu Beck
6.7k Plays4 months ago
What drives someone to leave everything behind and seek out the wildest corners of the earth? In this episode of "Nomads at the Intersections," Noami sits down with Eva zu Beck, who left her corporate life in London for a world of daring adventures, inspiring millions on YouTube. Eva shares raw, unfiltered stories about her journey through identity, solitude, and the power of failing boldly. From her first solo horse trek in Mongolia to running ultramarathons, discover how reinventing herself reshaped her understanding of freedom, bravery, and friendship. Tune in and let Eva’s extraordinary experiences challenge your idea of living courageously.
Key Takeaways:
- Insights on balancing personal freedom with public scrutiny.
- The importance of authentic living and choosing fear as a catalyst for change.
- Solitude as a gift to uncover inner strength and resilience.
- The impact of quitting as a bold, empowering choice.
Guest Bio:
Eva zu Beck is a professional storyteller, YouTube travel TV host, and avid adventurer at heart. Her passion for storytelling has captivated an audience of 4 million adventurous souls worldwide. Eva's work is dedicated to spreading the empowering message of adventure, freedom, and friendship across the globe.
Connect:
- Subscribe to NATI Pod on Spotify & Apple Podcasts
- Follow the show on Instagram @nomadsattheintersectionspod
- Email us: [email protected]
- Recommend a guest for NATI Pod
About the Host:
Since 2016, Noami Grevemberg has called her van home, chasing nature's wildest corners and living on her own terms. Her book, "Living The Vanlife," dives into the gritty reality of road living and shares raw insights on sustainable life on the move. As the founder of Diversify Vanlife, she’s shaking up the road-travel world, championing inclusivity. A seasoned content creator, writer and storyteller, Noami brings bold stories and unique perspectives through her podcast, "Nomads at the Intersections," inspiring others to try new ways of living and deeply connect with the world around them.
Follow Noami:
- Instagram: @irietoaurora
- TikTok: @irietoaurora
- Website: irietoaurora.com
- To work with Noami, email: [email protected]
Loved this episode? Rate and leave us a review. Share with friends who need a dose of inspiration!
To advertise on the show, contact us!
Links & Resources:
- Website: https://www.evazubeck.com/
- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@evazubeck
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/evazubeck/?hl=en
Produced by Noami Grevemberg
Edited by Noami Grevemberg
Music by jimmadsen
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Transcript
Introduction to Nomadic Lives
00:00:01
Speaker
Welcome to Nomads at the Intersections podcast. I'm Naomi, and this is where we tear up the rule book and dive headfirst into the lives of those who dare to defy the norm. You're in for a journey through the stories of the audacious, the nomads, the rebels, and the trailblazers who've swapped the mundane for the extraordinary. Buckle up, get ready to challenge your views, and maybe uncover a new layer of yourself. This is Natty Pod, where every episode is an invitation to step into the extraordinary. Let's go!
Meet Eva Subeck: From London to Adventure
00:00:42
Speaker
Hey everyone, today we've got a truly inspiring guest, Eva Subeck. She left her city life in London to embark on some of the wildest adventures imaginable, from solo host strikes in Mongolia to run-in ultra marathons. Eva is a master storyteller and YouTube travel host who captivates millions with her fearless explorations. Plus, we share something really special in common. our German Shepherd adventure companions. Maya Mara and Eva's Vilc are loyal co-pilots and protectors on the road adding another layer to our journeys. I'm really excited about this episode because Eva's journey hits Coaster Home for me. Her decision to leave behind a conventional life for Nomadic Adventures is something I deeply understand. Chasing what really makes you feel alive.
00:01:33
Speaker
So, what drives someone to step away from a comfortable life for one filled with uncertainty? Let's get into Eva's incredible journey and uncover what fuels her passion. Stick around, this conversation is going to be something special.
Eva's Nomadic Journey and Identity Shift
00:01:50
Speaker
Eva, welcome to the show. ah here Congratulations on completing your most recent ultra race. What an incredible achievement. How do you feel? ah Yeah, very accomplished. Although it feels a little bit surreal, you know, you do these things and then you, you're done with them. And then you're like, well, I did that. That's, and so people do that. That's, that's just wild. It gives you a whole new level of respect for like the human body, which is, you know, it's just so cool that we can do that stuff. Right. And before we take a deep dive into your adventures, could you give us a quick introduction about yourself in your own words?
00:02:29
Speaker
Yeah. Um, I kind of always wonder about that because I never really know what to say, but let's just, let's just keep it simple. I'm an adventure YouTuber and travel TV host. I've been fully nomadic traveling the world over the last six years. And most recently, the last three years I've been, um, over landing, um, and the last two years with my dog. So. Yeah, I suppose my my main things that I do is kind of tell the stories of my travels, you know, some of the people that I meet along the way, um but also some of the more personal tales of, um I suppose, my own experience on the road. So it's been it's been quite a wild ride, a bit of a roller coaster. And yeah, it's still kind of crazy to me that people
00:03:20
Speaker
you know, ah watch and subscribe. All these vlogs that I put out, it's kind of crazy that we get to share our lives like that these days. You know, before kind of doing travel full time, I had been living in London. I had a pretty great corporate job at, you know, a really fast growing startup. I was a manager. I was making good money. I had like, you know, a lot of like social status and I was married. had a nice apartment
00:03:52
Speaker
Okay, let's rewind a bit and dig into Eva's background. Leaving a structured life in London for a nomadic one isn't something you decide overnight. There's always a story, a series of moments that push you to make such a bold decision. What sparked Eva's shift from city life to becoming a full-time adventurer? Let's explore how it all began and the challenges she faced along the way. Everything was going so, so, so well. like I had everything that I could have possibly dreamt of. And yet I felt this awful sense of emptiness. like like Whatever I bought, whatever nice holiday I went on, um whatever you know cool dinner or dinner party I went to,
00:04:39
Speaker
None of those things ever filled that that weird unsettling sense of like void and pointlessness, I suppose, that I had in me. That feeling of emptiness can be a powerful catalyst for change, causing us to find the courage to disrupt our own life in search of deeper meaning. I started doing a bit of soul-searching and looking for you know possibly the reasons that i could have but I may have felt that way. And at some point I kind of came to this really unnerving conclusion that I think I felt, I think I feel this way because I've just been following along this like highway of life, you know, doing the things that I thought I was meant to do to be successful and happy, but I'd never really questioned why I was doing those things. Like I was just doing them because that's what I was supposed to do.
00:05:33
Speaker
And that's kind of, that was a harm moment when I realized, Hey, that, that's no way to live life. Like, you know, you only get so many years on, on this planet. So I should probably change some stuff. And that's kind of, that's what kind of was a catalyst for the big change. And, you know, I eventually ended up quitting my job, um leaving my marriage at the time. you know really leaving everything behind that I knew in London, you know moving out of my apartment, putting all my stuff in storage and you know selling it. And I just decided to start fresh, to try something completely new and and wild. I was like, well, since I've you know left everything behind, I might as well
00:06:19
Speaker
do something that seems absolutely insane, something that like that feels totally irresponsible, stupid, probably that people will think I'm totally like I've gone insane. And um so, yeah, that's kind of what I did. I decided to go travel the world on my own with a camera and start a YouTube channel. I mean, like that at the time, I mean, now I think it's a little bit more socially accepted to do that, but years ago, people were like, you're doing what? You're going to be a YouTube star? I was like, I don't know, I'm just going to go travel and film it.
00:06:58
Speaker
Eva's decision to leave behind her job, her home, her routine shows us that sometimes we need to shake up our lives to find true fulfillment. It's tempting to stay in our comfort zones, but real change often requires taking risks. And one risk is facing all the change alone. How does one handle that kind of solitude? When I first hit the road, the silence and solitude was overwhelming.
00:07:27
Speaker
So I'd love to hear about your start, just going at it alone from the beginning. How did you tackle the fears and the challenges of such a bold life change? Like what were those things that grounded you in those uncertain early days? Yeah, you know, that's a very good question. And I think I have to be honest, like I never really felt like I feel like I was seeking the solitude. I was seeking that challenge of being on my own and and having to deal with things by myself because I had been i felt like I had been multi-cuddled for such a long time. like I had lived this really sheltered life.
00:08:08
Speaker
Where I had access to everything, you know where I could buy all the nice things where I was kind of I had been extracting my worth from Like almost like the finer things and I had been constantly just like living in in this little box I felt so to be able to kind of get out there and I prove to myself that I could live a slightly wilder existence, that I could do it by myself. like That almost felt like like a welcome challenge. like i was I was super excited by it. and i was yeah There were moments where I remember feeling like it was all too much. like even I'll you know give you a quick little anecdote from my very first trip. so
00:08:53
Speaker
know once I kind of quit my job quit my life and everything. My first trip that I went on with my camera was I did the Everest base camp trek which if you know it's pretty it's a pretty rough trek like keep in mind I was not fit at the time I hadn't really done any hiking before ever. why out I had never been in the Himalayas or in any high mountains. And I just, I kind of followed the friend. A friend of mine was like, do you want to go do this hike in Nepal? And I was like, yeah, sure. Sounds great. Sounds like eat, pray, love, you know? I was like, yeah, let's do it. I'm going to be Julia Roberts for three weeks. And then, and then he's like, yeah, it's the Everest base cap trick. And I was like, wait, Everest what?
00:09:38
Speaker
Wow. Imagine your first big adventure being the Everest Base Camp track. That's like deciding to run a marathon when the furthest you've ever run is to the corner store. It's wild, but it's also that kind of bold move that defines Eva's spirit. Facing such a huge challenge right off the bat shows incredible determination and grit. So I went on this trek with him and I was so out of my depth. You know, i you know this is like the Himalayas. These are big elevations, big altitudes, a lot of distance. And I just, like by day four, basically, I was so exhausted. I was so dead. I was like, why why am I here? Like life used to be so simple and now I'm doing this trek. I'm dying. I'm exhausted. I don't want to be here. So there were times like that, you know,
00:10:30
Speaker
Very frequently, you know probably every other week. I think like the the thing that kind of always helped me um get through them was having the awareness always that I got to do these things. I got to have these experiences. It's not that I was just, you know, doing them because I was making me. It was such a privilege to be out there being able to have that lifestyle and to just live an amazing life, you know?
00:11:02
Speaker
um And I think that's kind of what helped me get through the tough times, just knowing that actually I have it pretty good, you know, and most of us actually do. And that's the key takeaway, gratitude. Even when the journey gets tough, recognizing the privilege of having this experience can be the fuel that keeps you going. Solitude and challenges shape us, test us. and ultimately can make us stronger. Those moments of isolation when everything is overwhelming have taught me to appreciate the journey, no matter how rough the path gets.
00:11:41
Speaker
Now that we've explored the tough but rewarding journey of solitude and the strength it brings, let's explore another profound aspect of change, identity.
00:11:53
Speaker
Switching from a steady structured life to the unpredictability of nomadic living isn't about where you sleep at night. It's about changing the way you see yourself and the world. Eva's story shows how stepping away from the conventional can open up new perspectives and unexpected strengths. So as someone who also stepped off that conventional path, I've noticed how deeply Our identities are tied to our professions and the societal labels. And you talked a little bit about that. You mentioned it a little bit previously, um just kind of transitioning from that structured corporate life to this adventurous nomadic.
00:12:33
Speaker
free way of living. And it it isn't just like a physical move. I mean, that is like a profound shift in identity. It's like a mental shift that needs to happen. It's kind of like stripping away. Can you talk about that a little bit? Like how has the shift in your way of life ah reshaped your identity? Yeah, I feel like it's been great in many ways, but also surprisingly tough in other ways. Like you're right, like we are so conditioned to be like, well, in in like these structured lifestyles, like we have, like there's there's a lot of conditioning that kind of goes into how we perceive ourselves, especially if you like, if you have a corporate job, if you live that corporate life. But I think also if you go traveling or if you do YouTube like me, like, you know, in a way,
00:13:27
Speaker
I feel like I've let go of a lot of things since leaving that kind of past life behind, so to speak. Definitely, I feel like I've been working a lot on not attaching too much importance to the material, you know, um kind of going a little bit more minimalist. That's just something that comes with being on the road. Like, you know, it's it's it's pretty natural. It's funny how the things we own can end up owning us. When I first started downsizing for my travels, it felt like I was giving away pieces of myself, but I knew it was about making room for more meaningful experiences.
00:14:06
Speaker
The simplicity brought powerful freedom, helping me to focus on fostering deeper connections, experiences, and the joy of the journey. For Eva, shedding the clutter wasn't just about living with less. It unlocked new strengths and passions. Letting go opened the door for unexpected adventures and pushed her into new heights. Hold on, because Eva's journey is about to get a lot more exciting. trying to navigate this very weird nomadic YouTube life has kind of made me realize that nothing is forever and that no like identity that you take on, no sense of self that you
00:14:56
Speaker
you believe yourself to kind of to have, you can't take that for granted. That will always change. like Even within my YouTube journey, you know i've kind of it's interesting because I've seen myself change in my videos. It's such a crazy way to have a ah documented evolution of character. like I look back on my first videos, from six years ago and then I look at my videos now and I see a person that's changed in so many ways. like I feel my priorities have shifted, my the way that I relate to the world has shifted, like even just my own perception of myself has shifted. And also in those six years, kind of with kind of growing up with YouTube as a platform,
00:15:44
Speaker
growing up with social media as my, I suppose, ways to make a living. I've also seen that you have to be fluid and you have to kind of shift and adapt with, I suppose, with the world around you. I don't know. I mean, that sounds really basic, I know, but I suppose it's been it's been a journey where like I've been trying to let go of any like very strict notion of who I am because I've seen it change so much. Absolutely. Identity is always evolving. Letting go isn't easy, but it was in those moments that I found real growth and new versions of me. Stepping into unfamiliar territory, like Eva did, can change you in ways you never imagined.
00:16:37
Speaker
So, what makes this adventurous way of life so special? For me, it's the unexpected freedom I found. And, if I'm being honest, no other lifestyle opposite so beautifully. Then there are the friendships you make along the way, the ones that stick with you through thick and thin. Eva's adventures have taken her in some pretty wild places. And along the way, she's discovered what real freedom and connection mean. Her stories reveal how these experiences have reshaped her entire perspective online.
00:17:12
Speaker
It is so difficult to maintain friendships with people so hard. And of course you make new friends on the road, but then, you know, if you're really truly, you know, decidedly nomadic, then you're probably going to go your separate ways at some point. So, okay right. I think like, you know, for me, I've recently decided to make a big change in my life. I've been toying with this idea for a couple of years, but it's only now that I kind of um've made it into a reality. And that is I've decided to go on a journey of intentional celibacy for a year. Um, so no boyfriends, no partner, no romantic partners um for at least a year. You know, let's see how this year goes.
00:18:07
Speaker
And I did that kind of in order to kind of cleanse myself, cleanse my energy, um to kind of like press a reset button in a way on romantic relationships, but also very importantly, I think, to kind of emphasize, to like, I suppose give more of my attention and energy to friendships and especially female friends. And um Again, being on the road, it's so hard to maintain those friendships. But um I think like I've decided to just that I think it's just a matter of making intentional time, you know, whether it's like jumping on a call or doing voice notes. You know, I don't know if you do like these podcast style voice notes with your friends. I do. I do. I love that, actually.
00:18:57
Speaker
Maintaining friendships while living a life of travel takes a whole new level of commitment. Eva's decision to prioritize her female friends speaks volumes about the value of these connections. I have to be honest, it's something I've struggled with myself. Keeping in touch isn't always easy, especially when your life is so fluid or friends live differently. I'm also doing this like, I just bought some land in Poland and This summer, I will be hosting like like a mini summer camp for some of my closest female friends. That's Summer camp, yes. And we're just gonna like, we're just gonna get together, you know, put up some tents on my um my land and go hiking, you know, make a fire, make a bonfire. That's amazing.
00:19:52
Speaker
Eva's dedication to friendship and growth is just a start. So what does it really mean to be brave? It's about stepping beyond your comfort zone and opening up new possibilities to create the life you want.
00:20:10
Speaker
Bravery is more than the grand gestures. It's in the everyday choices that challenge us to grow. Think about running an ultra marathon or committing to a year of celibacy. That's Eva, always pushing her limits. These decisions define our journey and keep us true to ourselves, proving that courage can be a part of our everyday lives. I want to jump into another core aspect of your adventures, bravery. You often speak about it, the world's
00:20:47
Speaker
belonging to the brave. And it's a motto that seems to really resonate deeply with your spirit. Like even in this conversation, it's like, wow, you know, so I want to unpack that a little bit. Like, what is, what does bravery mean to you in the context of of your travels? Yeah, you know, I think you're right. I mean, the world belongs to the brave. That's kind of like a motto that I've taken on since the beginning. And I think partly in order to kind of um give myself that extra boost of like um strength and like motivation you know at the very beginning. But I think a lot of people, when they first hear it,
00:21:30
Speaker
I think a lot of people in general associate bravery with like being a daredevil, you know, being like someone who goes out there and does crazy things like stunts and, you know, dangerous stuff. And that's not at all how I mean bravery.
00:21:48
Speaker
Fear is a funny thing. It's like this invisible wall that seems impossible to climb. But once you start, you realize it's not as tall as it looked. Eva's ultramarathon journey is a perfect example. It's not about being fearless. It's about taking that first step despite the fear. like I think in the context of how I like to say it, in the context of my travels, um and and maybe how I live life, I try to think of bravery as like the world belongs to the brave of heart. It's not just the brave, but the brave of heart. like
00:22:30
Speaker
What I mean is having this kind of like courage within yourself to to follow the choices that you feel are right for you. So having the courage to be your authentic self, having the courage to say things that are, you know, the things that are on your mind. hopefully without hurting other people. like having I suppose having the courage to just live ah by your own principles, you know as much as possible. I know that's not a given for everyone, but at least having like the courage to you know express yourself, to to be yourself.
00:23:09
Speaker
especially among the people that that you feel like you can trust, especially towards yourself when you look at yourself in the mirror, you know, having the courage to be honest with yourself. And that's hard. That's really, really hard. And that's even hard for me sometimes today. and But I think just kind of keeping that as like constant thing to remind yourself of day in, day out, um that's really helped me kind of navigate life in a way that feels true to me. you know like If I think back six, seven, eight years, I wouldn't say that I was like living a lie back then, but I was definitely not being that like that authentic version of myself that I feel I'm closer to being now. um so yeah it's It's a bravery, courage that's kind of inside of all of us you know that we can all tap into.
00:24:03
Speaker
who You know, Eva, as a as a fellow like outdoor adventurer who's had to face my own fears head on, especially you know more recently hitting the road alone, I've come to understand that bravery isn't just about the absence of fear, but I think rather that rather how we we confront it, if that makes sense. It's like feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Oh, there you go. I was trying to find the words for it. There you go again. Yes. Yes. Feeling the fear and doing it anyway. And that's some hard shit. You know, I'm not going to sit here and say it's easy. That shit is hard, you know? But it inevitably reshapes our perspectives, right? Oh my God. So many ways.
00:24:56
Speaker
Okay, I'll give you just like a very silly example of something that I do that's like nuts. So um I run ultramarathons, right? So for anyone listening who doesn't know ah what an ultramarathon is, because it's pretty niche. An ultramarathon is anything longer than a marathon, so longer than 26 miles. An ultra can be 50 miles, 100 miles. There are some that are even longer than that. And, you know, like I started running ah four years ago and I started running because I wanted to run a marathon because I thought it was something that everybody should do at least once in their life if they can. And it just felt like such a cool experience. I was like, I'm going to go run this one marathon and then that'll be it.
00:25:39
Speaker
Um, so I run this marathon and then I kind of got into running and I started running longer distances and trail running, but always in my mind, I had this idea that. Oh, like I probably can't run longer than a marathon. That's probably not possible. Like and people can't do that, you know, and I, I felt like I had this narrative in my head that I couldn't do more than XYZ, you know? And I know this is ah an example that's related to running, but really it applies to anything that anyone does in life. But so for me, you know, I was like, okay, a marathon is the most that I can do. And then something gave me this idea to sign up for my first ultra marathon, which was I think like, it was like 35 miles or something like that.
00:26:29
Speaker
And I signed up for it. And then I just remember like before the mat, the ultra, I was like freaking out. I was like, I signed up for this thing. Like there's no way I could ever run this. That's not possible. Like I was so terrified of failing, ah you know, of like but going to like the starting line and then failing. And the day finally came, I went to the starting line, started running, and then eventually I got to the finish line. And I was like, whoa, I just ran 35 miles. That's not even humanly possible. You know, I just like that same morning, I was so full of fear. I was so in like, I didn't believe that I could make it.
00:27:18
Speaker
And then I had done it and then loads of other people had done it. There were hundreds of people who did it alongside me, you know? And I think many of them were just as and as shocked about their own achievement as I was. And I think like, you know, and now I'm kind of, I'm running longer and longer distances doing 60 miles. I did 65 miles a couple of weeks ago and later this year I'm hoping to do 100 miles. That's 100 miles of running in one go, which is totally nuts. But I think like even looking at something as simple as running, you kind of realize that, you know, the perception that you once had of yourself
00:27:57
Speaker
isn't necessarily true anymore today like with every new adventure with every new thing that you dare to do that felt like it was too much or too scary um or too big like once you get that hurdle you then gain a completely new outlook on what else is possible. You're like, you you get over that obstacle and then you come out the other side and you're like, whoa, like look at yeah all this new stuff that's on my horizon now. Look at all these other things that I could do. So I have a feeling that like, I mean, from my journey at least, it's been like a series of little
00:28:36
Speaker
brave or like semi brave steps that at least that felt brave to me at the time that kind of add up to a long big journey that then seems really like huge but it's just a series of small little steps, right? Eva's ultramarathon journey shows the power of pushing beyond self-imposed limits. Yes, I said it. Think about it. How often do we let fear dictate what we can and can't do? When I was 17, I left my small village in Trinidad for the chaos of New York City. Imagine moving from a place where everybody knows your name to a city where you're just another face in the crowd. As an immigrant, I had to navigate a new culture, find my footing and prove myself over and over again. Fast forward to 2016 when I chose the nomadic life, another leap toward an unknown adventure. I was terrified.
00:29:31
Speaker
But then I remembered that determined, scared little girl who left her sheltered island home with big dreams. I realized I was more courageous than I'd ever given myself credit for. If I could go from a tiny village to speaking to all of you now, I could face any challenge. Every fear I faced, whether moving to the US or hitting the road, revealed a strength I didn't know I had. My journey isn't about survival. It's about daring to live boldly and pushing beyond what I thought was possible toward the life that I deserve.
00:30:09
Speaker
You said that, that that's it right there. the the It's the baby steps that get us there. And wow, you know, that what a great story. It really strikes a chord with me. You know, you went from that moment of what the heck am I doing with my life too? Holy crap, I did that. yeah And it really speaks to that anything is possible. yeah And I genuinely believe that. But what about the times we stumble and fall? Eva shows us it's not just about the highs. She's faced her share of failures, and those moments have taught her some invaluable lessons.
00:30:48
Speaker
Curious to know how setbacks have fueled her? Stick around.
00:30:55
Speaker
We've talked about the highs of bravery, but what about when things don't go as planned? Eva highlights the grit it takes to turn setbacks into new opportunities. Those tough moments reveal our true strength. Speaking from experience, facing failure head-on forces us to grow and build resilience.
00:31:17
Speaker
Do you have like an adventure that stands out for you as particularly transformative, one where you had to really dig deep to muster up the courage? Yeah. Yeah. do sure There was a thing I did like four years ago, I think at the, well, it wasn't the outset, but it was, you know, maybe like two years into my, my big journey. So.
Mongolia: Eva's Soulful Adventure
00:31:44
Speaker
There's a place that I call my soul spot. And that place is Mongolia. ah Mongolia is, I call it my soul spot because I feel that every time I go there, I just feel so wild and free and it's just, there's so much space. The sky is huge, it's enormous. And you know, the rolling hills, the steps, like there's just something that,
00:32:12
Speaker
I feel is really special and in Mongolia that I have a connection to somehow. And I think it was my, on my like third visit there that I decided that I would try and like tap into all those beautiful wild things. And um I decided to buy two horses and go on um a solo horse track in the wilderness of Mongolia, just me and the two horses. What the heck? I know. And you know, I'm like, like i I've been a horse rider most of my life. So I had that piece so relatively sorted out. But at the time, I didn't have that much outdoor experience. like Those were my initial forays into in the outdoors. And so you know I ended up with these horses that I bought for like, I don't know, like $500 a piece or something.
00:33:07
Speaker
and weren't great horses.
00:33:14
Speaker
I just remember like, so one was my the horse that I would ride on. And then the other horse was the horse that like the packing horse. So, right? Okay, got you. Yeah. So he carried like all the gear. And, you know, again, I wasn't really an outdoors woman back then. So what I had packed was like, instead of getting like, nice, like, dehydrated meals, which would be like lightweight and nutritious, I packed like 10 cans of baked beans. oh my god It was heavy. that Poor horse, you know, it was heavy. It was unwieldy. Like I had to keep the cans when I used them and it was just awful. So this gives you an idea of like, yeah just the naivety that I went into this experience.
00:34:02
Speaker
And I think like you know what I was after was was the solitude. like I just wanted to be out there on my own. I just wanted to see how I would do out there alone, just having to manage by myself. And yeah, I kind of started um sorry on my trip. um you know The first thing that I did was I had to cross a very deep river, which with some straining I did. And on the first day, later on that day, one of my horses Um, got freaked out by, I don't know, like a grouse or something, and then bucked and like threw off, you know, all the, all the luggage, broke the bags. And I was like, wow, this is great day one, like what a success. I was like out there on my own, but then all of a sudden um I see these two figures running towards me.
00:34:52
Speaker
in the distance, you know, and I'm there like trying to control this horse, trying to like get all this stuff back on on his bag. And these two people are coming towards me. And eventually I kind of see that there are locals who who live out there in that part of Mongolia. And they came up to me, I didn't speak Mongolian, they didn't speak English. And they were like, oh, and they like looked, they saw what happened. And they helped me stitch my saddle back up. They like just took out a needle and a thread from their water right there. It was magical. I was like, this is great. And so they helped me get back on the road. You know, so they just, I was like, wow, this is meant to be. So, I mean, that was day one, pretty dramatic, pretty eventful. And then, you know, I kind of kept going in.
00:35:41
Speaker
It actually turned into this experience, exactly the experience that I had imagined it to be. I was on my own, it was peaceful, it was beautiful, it was tough because you know, you have to take care of two other living creatures, not just yourself. And yeah, I was meant to be going for two weeks, but on day seven, Once again, my horse got freaked out by something and this time it was the horse that I was riding. So he threw me off and I fell to the ground and because I wasn't wearing a helmet, I hit the side of my head on a rock and I kind of kind of got up after a couple of minutes and I realized that I might have a concussion.
00:36:32
Speaker
And so, you know, I was out there like very remote with no cell signal. My satellite phone wasn't working and I had a concussion and I was like, shit, what do I do now? You know, but you know, after kind of like thinking it through for a few minutes, looking at my maps, I realized that I could get to like a Yurt camp that was about 25 kilometers away. Um, and I could get there probably by the end of the day. So I just decided to quit, uh, my trip short and walked back with the horses to that yard camp. And, you know, I think that experience was just like that whole track was so transformative because I felt like, um, you know, I think they, what did they call it? They call it the gap. Like the, when you look at something that you want to be or something that you want to be able to create.
00:37:25
Speaker
And that's like your ideal. And then like you look at yourself or like your current skills and you realize that there's a huge gap in between those two things. And you're like, and that's kind of, that was a reality check for me like that. I was like, I want to be doing this outdoors thing more. I want to be in the nature. I want to be doing wild things. I want to be outside. I just want to be outside as much as possible. And I think that for me was the catalyst for a journey of like acquiring skills, acquiring fitness, acquiring um you know all the things that kind of go into being good in the outdoors. um And that's what really kind of inspired me to, I suppose, yeah take on this journey of like um trail running and and hiking, mountaineering, you know and let's see what comes next.
00:38:18
Speaker
Eva's solo horse trek in Mongolia started with high hopes, but ended abruptly when she had to cut her trip short after a fall. Similarly, my first backpacking trip in the Smoky Mountains was a lesson in reality. I had the Wu Scare, a cheap $40 backpack from a sketchy site with a brutal hard external frame that destroyed me on that multi-day hike into bear country. I packed way too much food and my pack was way too heavy. I looked like a total amateur, but once I got out on the trail, nothing else mattered. On my second night, a black bear wandered into my camp acting like we're old friends.
00:38:57
Speaker
I was screaming trying to remember what to do in a bear encounter. It was sunset and I was terrified. I wanted to hike out immediately, but my gut told me to stay put until morning. I didn't sleep a wink, but I hiked out at first light. In hindsight, it wasn't as bad as it seemed. The bear was probably thinking, man, humans are loud and obnoxious. But I learned I could handle myself out there. Both experiences ended early, but they were pivotal. They weren't just failures. They were raw lessons in resilience and determination and the power of trusting yourself.
Reflections on Failure and Authenticity
00:39:39
Speaker
Eva, like me, didn't let an early exit define her journey. Instead, she saw it as a stepping stone for future growth.
00:39:51
Speaker
You shared something at the end of 2023 that really, I mean, deeply struck a chord with so many people, including myself. And I i want to quote you directly from your posts. So I'm going to read it ah for our listeners.
00:40:10
Speaker
A year of failures. I haven't been able to get this voice out of my head for a couple of weeks now. You failed to drive the Pan Am, it says. You failed to find a home in the US. You failed your relationships. You failed to write the book. You haven't done any of the expeditions you wanted to do. Something just didn't click this year. Yes, many things went extremely well. I got to travel to beautiful places. My dog is growing up nicely. I am in the best physical shape of my life because I've stuck to regular training. My YouTube channel has done pretty well. Don't get me wrong. I never lose sight of the positive.
00:40:47
Speaker
But the big things didn't work out as I'd hoped they would. Maybe that means I didn't want them badly enough to really commit to them. Maybe it means I was choosing the wrong big things. Or maybe it just means I lost my mojo a little this past year. So as I get closer to the end of the year, a symbolic transition, nothing more. I think I'm just hoping to forgive myself for a year that feels like it's been a bit of a write off. I am just hoping to go easy on myself to reflect on how Next year can be different to remember that achievement isn't the only form of life currency. So as the whole world of Insta influence begins to wrap up their year with highlight reels, if you feel anything like me right now, just remember you're not alone. Life is short. Life is long.
00:41:37
Speaker
That post. hit me so hard because as I mentioned before, 2023 kicked my butt. And I really appreciate you sharing that because I feel like this raw honesty is so rare and so powerful. I'm curious, what what prompted you to share these personal setbacks so openly? How do you handle the weight of these experiences? you know
00:42:09
Speaker
Gosh, we both live. and We work with social media, right? That's kind of like our world. that's We know Instagram inside out. We spend probably a lot of time in it. like there is I get really frustrated with social media, even though i it's my li it's my way to make a living. And I know that that's a really um big paradox. but I get really pissed off at it because it is so inauthentic. it We know it's a highlight reel, but we always forget that. And I think I just get kind of frustrated with myself also for posting mostly only the good things. And I think sharing all of these, like sharing a post like that, sharing all of my previous stories of failure is my way of just
00:43:02
Speaker
creating a bit of an antidote to this idea of, you know, on social media, you always have to be successful. You always have to be smiling. You always have to be beautiful. You always have to be this and that. And like, I know we talk about trying to make social media more realistic, but very few people actually do that. Like, you know, very few people actually go there into the really ugly, really uncomfortable place is like, I think, you know, more and more of us are allowing ourselves to be more vulnerable on socials, which is great. um But I still feel like a lot of the time there is that veneer of like, like, we're still we still feel like we need to put a positive spin on things we still like even in sharing our most vulnerable moments, we still feel like we need to put like add some something positive something a little bit more like
00:43:55
Speaker
springing our step into that, like in that post, you know, which is like, fair enough, maybe it's a way for us to kind of defend ourselves against the forthcoming shitty comments. yeah
00:44:09
Speaker
Like I feel like the more of these stories of failure we share, the more people might actually realize that it's okay to make mistakes. It's okay to risk things. It's okay to do that because look at this big person that has over a million subscribers on YouTube. She failed to do something and she made a video about it. Like, you know, and, and it's, it can be hard sometimes because with videos like that, Like, I mean, i I remember making a video in the US a couple of years ago where I tried to run the wonderland trail by myself and I got to day one and then I had to go back. And I really hesitated whether I should publish that video or not. Like I was like, okay, I just, I wasted two days. Like I could just not mention anything about it on social media. I could just.
00:45:04
Speaker
never acknowledge that I ever did this thing. Nobody would ever know. you know like Nobody would ever know if I didn't publish this video. And then i just I was like, I think this is why I have to. This is why like I have to share it because these are the real uncomfortable stories that are really, like you you publish it and you know that the shitty comments are coming. You know that we'll think less of you, you know, you know that all those things are going to happen. And you still publish the story because it's a real story. It's an honest story. And maybe
00:45:45
Speaker
It'll help other people come to terms with things that they feel that they failed at. Maybe it'll help other people be more honest. Maybe it'll help more people make, you know, even something as simple as making the right choices and out in the and the outdoors, you know, not having to prove themselves. Anyway, yeah, I just, I love failure. Oh my God. Like I love talking about failure. I think it's just such a wonderful tool of empowerment to talk about it openly and just be like, yes, I failed. So what? I'm just going to go and try again. so I just, I value this so, so hard because I feel the same about failure. you it's a Failure is another gift that really helps us to grow and really understand
00:46:34
Speaker
what we want out of this life, you know? Yes. So like, I think like reflecting on on this openness about your your challenges and failure, especially as a woman who, I mean, we're, let's be honest, you we're we're all under a microscope of public expectations. and And you spoke a little bit about that. um How has like facing your failures helped you to to reshape your understanding of resilience and success. Wow that's a that's a really big question. Wow my god it's ah is racing i but oh my gosh um you know I think like it's at the end of the day it's probably just as simple for me as like
00:47:24
Speaker
knowing that you are allowed to fail and build on that experience, you know learn from it and apply it to the next thing. That's probably how we build resilience, right? By just trying over and over and over again. In a way, it's really great to have, I feel like it's a real privilege to have this because it as exactly as you said, it kind of helps you reevaluate like what it is exactly that you want out of life. Like, because, you know, sure, you could just take the first thing that you get and and go with that. And then, you know, at the end of your life, you'll be like, I never failed. Like I did that one thing and I did it really, really well. Okay, sure. Fair enough. Good for you. But like, I, I love a life that's full of ups and downs. Like I love a life that,
00:48:15
Speaker
feels like an exploration in some ways of yourself and your own limits and your own resilience.
Challenging Societal Norms and Privacy
00:48:23
Speaker
Like to me, at least that's what makes for a fun life, I feel like. So yeah, um I suppose in every failure, there is there is a lesson if if you're willing to you know look at it, like face it, confront it.
00:48:49
Speaker
Navigating personal choices in the public eye can feel like walking a tightrope. Recently, I watched Eva's YouTube video about her journey towards celibacy, and it it deeply moved me. Choosing celibacy has been transformative for me too. Redirecting this energy has helped me to focus more on my career, healing, and personal growth. It's both nerve-wracking and liberating to open up about this.
00:49:15
Speaker
Eva shows the courage it takes to stay true to herself in a world that constantly pressures us to conform. Living authentically under the scrutiny of social media is no small feat, and it takes real courage to navigate public perception. It's a balancing act, one that requires both strength and vulnerability. How do we stay authentic in a world that constantly judges us? Eva's got some insight. You know, I guess before um sharing some of my personal choices honestly with people on the internet, I was under the assumption that if I did so, then I would kind of put myself out there kind of open for judgment, and that you know, people might not react well to the honesty, because I felt like some of my choices felt a little bit different, alternative, you know? um
00:50:13
Speaker
maybe not the most popular choices to make. And I felt like it would be safer to be just kind of somewhere in the middle, you know, to maybe not talk about the things that are difficult, the things that feel like, um you know, make me, I don't know, that maybe are a little bit controversial to some people. And um it turned out that I was completely wrong because the minute I started talking more openly about things like you know my choice my choice not to have kids, like my choice not to shave, my choice not to have makeup, yeah all these tiny little choices, each of which is maybe a little bit against the grain. Talking about these things honestly, actually, surprisingly maybe,
00:51:09
Speaker
really resonated with my community. I found that a lot of people felt the same way or maybe had considered my point of view previously or were sympathetic to it or you know there's just I guess I was just shocked by the positive response and I feel like maybe that's um also a bit of a missing piece on social media is just realizing that you can be yourself. you You really can. You can be your authentic self and the people who need to find you will find it you. don't have to be pretend You don't have to pretend to be anything other than what you actually are. And that's just so empowering. It's funny how often we brace ourselves for the worst when we decide to be real. What's up with that?
00:52:00
Speaker
During a recent live Q and&A, I opened up about my struggle with loneliness and depression. I expected awkward silence and maybe a few sympathetic nods, but instead I got a flood of support. One message stood out. A friend from high school in Trinidad reached out, saying they had been through something similar and offered space to chat. Who knew that opening up would rekindle a new friendship? It taught me that being vulnerable isn't just about spilling your guts. It's about connecting on a deeper level and building bridges where we least expect them. Eva's raw honesty about her life choices is a rallying cry for us all to be a little braver and a lot more real. When we dare to show our true selves, we give others the courage to do the same.
00:52:50
Speaker
I also find it so intriguing how the personal choices that we make and share in them, you know, it it challenges societal norms and and it does provoke all kinds of responses. Living authentically in the public eye also definitely sets a stage for all the varied perceptions. So how how do you balance your personal freedom with the public expectation? I think um i've even though you know I'm very, very honest with my audience about a lot of things, um I try not to share everything. you know I think for like anyone um who's even a little bit in the public eye, um we kind of very quickly learn that there are things that are better kept private. And for me, I think that line
00:53:43
Speaker
is my romantic relationships. So I used to be relatively urban about that and, um you know, kind of um I was dating someone a little while ago and our relationship was on social media and we were very open about it and you know eventually we broke up and I just felt like you know our history has kind of stayed with me and even now sometimes I get comments and questions about that specific guy even though it's been
00:54:17
Speaker
over two years, it's been almost three years, well, three and two and a half years. Yes, the we broke up. so It's been a long time. um So I feel like I'm keeping relationships private also just to kind of protect them from the pressures of of social media. You know, why why add more pressure if you don't absolutely have to? It's a delicate balance between transparency and privacy. I remember my own experience of sharing a lot about my relationship in my book. Then when the relationship ended, the constant public scrutiny and questions about it, even a year later, made me realize the importance of keeping some parts of my life private. Finding that balance where you're open enough to be genuine, but reserved enough to protect your personal space is key. We have the right to decide what parts of our lives we want to share and what parts we want to keep for ourselves.
00:55:15
Speaker
Amen to that. yeah i really I really do, Eva. I really do admire your openness about your life choices. And um I think it's really powerful and vulnerable. And while it it's all of those things, and you know it it does open the door to to both support and criticism. um But I want to i want to know, like how how do you handle the negative comments and stay true to your path? a Well, um I remember a few years ago, five years ago now maybe, I was chatting to a YouTuber friend who at the time had like, I mean he was much bigger than me on YouTube. He had like five million subscribers, millions of views on every video, and I remember asking him that question like, how do you handle the negative comments? And he said,
00:56:11
Speaker
i I only respond to comments. I only read too and respond to comments for one hour post publication. And I was like, okay, why is that? Why just the one hour? And he's like, because that's when your friends come to YouTube. That's when people know you come to your videos. That's when people who are your subscribers who watch all of your videos that's when they watch your video so I guess that's what I've taken on as my practice as well and um I really limit my intake of of comments on YouTube um also on Instagram and I know that might sound a little bit
00:56:49
Speaker
I know I always feel a little bit like ungrateful in a way, um, to not read all the comments, but you know, there comes a point like where your brain just gets so oversaturated with the feedback that you can't take it in anymore. Like there's a point where it just, it like it's flooded. And so you really have to, as a creator, I think you have to make choice. Like, are you going to sit there reading comments and thinking about them or are you going to spend your time creating the next thing?
00:57:20
Speaker
Public perception is a wild beast, isn't it? The constant noise can drown out your true voice if you let it. But here's a thought. What if we stopped caring so much about pleasing everyone? Instead, we could focus on what genuinely fuels us. Filtering out the irrelevant noise and zeroing in on what matters can make all the difference. Sometimes you have to be a little selfish with your energy. I know that might go against our conditioning, but that's how we take our power back. Protect your creative spark at all costs and remember, not every opinion deserves your attention.
Encouragement to Embrace the Journey
00:58:03
Speaker
Find that sweet spot where you can stay true to yourself while navigating the chaos.
00:58:12
Speaker
Well, before we wrap up, Eva, any final thoughts or pearls of wisdom you want to share with our listeners, especially for the folks who are probably looking to step out of their comfort comfort zones and maybe we embrace a little bit more of the unknown? I think just, ah I mean, you hear this all the time and I know it sounds super cliche, but just go for it, you know, like just make that first step. Like, you know, even if you're scared, as we said before, do it scared, you know, like, it's gonna feel scary, but that's kind of the whole point. And um yeah, you know, if you if you I suppose if if we never made that first step, then we would never get anywhere. So um yeah, the world belongs to the brave, hey?
00:59:01
Speaker
Yeah. Oh my gosh, Eva. What a joy. What a joy this conversation was just. yes You lit me up. You got me fired up. I'm so excited and so honored to have the opportunity to dive into your world and, you know, to see how things are shaping up on on your side. So thank you for sharing your stories with such openness. It's not every day we get to see this kind of robbery and honesty that you've brought to the conversation. Oh, no, way I could definitely say the same thing. I mean, I just love following your journey. I'm so in awe of of you and your little, you know, pneumatic family, you and Amara and the choices that you've made as well. I mean, you've, you know, you've really, you're such a trailblazer. And I just, I love that we got to have this conversation, sit here for, you know, a little while and kind of share.
00:59:57
Speaker
some stories and I really hope that we get to meet mean in real life again one day. Oh gosh, yeah. I'm looking forward to that. I have a feeling it's going to happen and I am so excited about it. Something to look forward to. Me too, yes. Well, thank you once again. And to everyone tuning in, if you've been inspired by Eva as much as I have, Make sure to follow her adventures online. Everything is going to be in the show notes for your dose of unfiltered courage and raw adventure. You don't want to miss what she's up to next.
01:00:32
Speaker
And don't forget to hit subscribe on Natipod for more stories that push boundaries. Next time we're chatting with Nelson, the trailblazing force behind the Instagram account, fat black and gettin' it. Nelson's journey took him from the hectic streets of New York to the breathtaking trails of Colorado, where he's breaking stigmas and redefining what it means to be outdoorsy. His powerful message, the outdoors is for everyone, is shaking up the adventure community in the best way possible. Get ready to be inspired by Nelson's infectious passion for the outdoors. You won't want to miss this one.
01:01:09
Speaker
Thanks for tuning in to Natipod. It's been a blast having you on this adventure. If our journey sparked your curiosity, hit subscribe, share this episode and drop us a review. Your support fuels our mission to uncover more stories. Want more? Follow us on social media and check out our share notes for extra goodies. Until next time, stay bold nomads.