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Episode 1 - Creative Identity
17 Plays1 year ago
It’s the first episode of Also That! Gennaro Aliperti and Heidi Kerr discuss why we wanted to launch a podcast focused on fostering creative pursuits while dealing with the chaos of everyday life. Join us as we discuss our relationship with creativity identity and how our self-perception of “not being creative enough” can block us from our potential.
Also That is a community-driven podcast, so be sure to join the conversation on social media @AlsoThatPod and tune in each week as we explore how we can make space for creativity in all aspects of life.
Transcript
00:00:00
Speaker
Got it. Yep. It's recording. Okay. It's going to be super awkward, but we're friends. Nobody's actually listening right now. All right. Should we get into it? Let's get into it.
00:00:20
Speaker
Okay, we're getting
Introduction to 'Also That' Podcast
00:00:21
Speaker
into it. Hey, everyone. Welcome to also that I'm Heidi Kerr. And joining me today is my favorite human and now someone I can officially call a co host, Genaro Alaperti. Hey, y'all. I'm so glad I'm your favorite human. And there's nobody else more favorite than me.
00:00:37
Speaker
I think I meant to say one. ah
00:00:42
Speaker
ah Okay, well, they starting off on a gray footot absolutely um thank you so much for listening to our very first episode of author that a podcast where we talk about how to cultivate a more creative life.
Balancing Creativity with Everyday Life
00:00:54
Speaker
ah Even though we're dealing with things like a meltdown at work,
00:00:58
Speaker
or a horrible commute going in and out of Queens just because your station is skipping the wrong station and you don't know where you're going. And you've lived in New York for many years. Also that. So we just wanted to start off with like a little bit about why this podcast exists um in this space where Janara and I I think specifically felt like we were kind of running on the productivity treadmill.
00:01:22
Speaker
and just not creating a lot of space in our lives for a chance to explore creativity in whatever way that may be, not just necessarily, you know, creativity capital C, but creative thinking, and creative living, things like that. and I feel like sometimes it's it's when you're on the productivity treadmill, you you're doing that, you're you're on you're spinning around in a circle and you're doing things that are, you're in a direction that's being given to you to for to serve a purpose that is not directed by you.
00:01:50
Speaker
Whereas creativity is the only thing that comes from you. So i I think that that's a very bold transition for us to take and I'm excited to take it with you.
00:02:02
Speaker
Yeah, i I agree with that. like It really does only come from you. And I have just spent, God, 15 freaking years being told what to do. So i'm I'm really ready to just explore this some more. Do you want to start us off with our opening segment? I would love to. So our opening segment is a moment of inspiration.
Finding Unexpected Inspiration
00:02:20
Speaker
And um the why behind it is because essentially,
00:02:26
Speaker
Inspiration does not always hit you in the moment that you need it. Sometimes it's like, you know, an MTA bus where the minute you need it, it's not there. But then sometimes it's a happy accident. And so, ah you know, creativity and inspiration can come from anything at any time. ah So I think it's very interesting for us to explore what are the things that inspire us? How can we find inspiration? um And, you know, we also live yeah on different coasts and we live in very different cities. So ah we may have very different approaches to how we find creativity. um So that all being said, Heidi, um have you had a moment of inspiration this week that you'd like to share?
00:03:08
Speaker
Yeah, I think um one of the things that have come up for me, no longer living in the city, I just think a lot. um I'm like looking more at being inward and like in my home and things like that. And I'll just say for anyone out there who has, was like never taught how to design a home, this is a creative process. Like that I think just needs to be set up front. And actually Genaro, when I was at your place, I was like,
00:03:33
Speaker
Oh, like he put some thought into this place and it really hit me. And that was what, like four months ago. So it takes. Yeah, I don't know if you ever like walk into someone's house and it's beautiful. That doesn't happen by accident. And I think for me, I would have just been experiencing like these creative moments and looking, looking at my space.
00:03:53
Speaker
and like not buying the first thing I see on Wayfair, really thinking about it. And also just like trying to figure out like how it's going to work for me. um I don't know. It seems to me that like inner harmony and inner creativity is something that should be inspired like inspired by the things around you. And i I frankly, as someone who's moved so many times in my life, my space, my home is not It's not it like it is just not the thing that I foster love and attention to. So this week I've been like selling stuff on Facebook marketplace and things like that to just I don't know create some so some space for me to invite new energy and with like new furniture and things like that.
00:04:42
Speaker
I love that. I think that's so interesting and I think that it's your you're finding inspiration in your home by creating a blank canvas
Creating Space for Inspiration
00:04:50
Speaker
almost. you're you're taking You're taking the things out that are not necessary and you're trying to bring things in that are curated and I feel like that's a that's a really good, ah interesting approach um when, you know when when we're when we're thinking about what does what is creativity come from? And sometimes it's not necessarily the most obvious thing. Sometimes it's it's this thing that comes from like having having clarity, having having space to be to be open to new inspiration. So um I think I might so I think I might have to get rid of something this weekend just so just because I'm inspired.
00:05:30
Speaker
Well, get rid of like the stuff that's like causing negative energy. I don't know. That's like my first thing. And then like, I don't, it's different like East coast, West coast. There's like i'm in a much smaller town than you. And in New York, like, I just feel like you're bombarded with inspiration, like at a constant.
00:05:45
Speaker
Like every day like the person they're like fabulous person on the train. Well, I guess we're explicit now and because like like this is okay here we are okay um but they They are ah They look so great and and like you can like it's just forced a little bit more Whereas like when you have a quieter space and or like a quieter slower life, I suppose okay mine um that like You have to like invite that stuff in in a different way. so It's not being like... Yeah, sometimes it's overwhelming. Sometimes it's overwhelming to be constantly bombarded by creativity because sometimes you can feel like you're the bomb dot.com and then you walk outside and you're like, oh, I don't look ah don't look that good. I wasn't that creative. So like, I i think it's like... Yeah, it's it's just an interesting approach because it's like almost it's almost like you're you're like forced to be creative because you're like, well, that person is doing it so differently. I never even thought that I could do it that way. And so you're like, oh, like how could how do I do something my own way? So yeah, nice it's so interesting. And I think that's exactly kind of like why we were starting this podcast is because I
00:06:55
Speaker
I have looked at people or they or like art and been like, what the hell? How did this like come from nothing? And like just and in my own like very small creative journey, which I guess we'll probably start talking about in a minute, is that like it takes work together.
00:07:10
Speaker
And like some people that work started when they were very young and they had like fantastic parents and they fostered, fostered like whatever, like drawing and coloring. But like some people have parents who have like really high expectations of them. Like, you know, your creative journey starts at different phases in your life. Yeah. And I feel but whatever you say, we're like mid-adult creative. Like this is, I'm just now like have the space where like my bills are paid. Like I'm not like so stressed.
00:07:36
Speaker
Yeah, totally having having that you can't downgrade the the having that safety, whether it's financial safety or emotional safety or or just spiritual, whatever, whatever it is that that makes you feel safe, I think is so important. And and i I haven't actually felt as independent and safe as I as much as I do now. So.
00:07:57
Speaker
What better time to start on this creative journey? Let's get into it. Let's get into the the main topic of
Facing Creative Self-Doubt
00:08:02
Speaker
today. So I actually think it's a good transition because um I think one of the things that is ah obstacle for for me and maybe many people in in being creative is the idea of ah self perception, where you look at yourself a certain way you may have your your thoughts of, you know, I talk a certain way I dress a certain way I do my hair a certain way I write a certain way, whatever it may be, whether it's positive or negative.
00:08:32
Speaker
ah you know you could you could be You can be so self-destructive or you can also be so egotistical. And you know there's there's many ways there's so many extremes you can go. But I think um what I've struggled with and I think where it comes from is um just the the confidence of putting something out there and letting it be letting it be. And and and that's it. and And letting people interpret it the way they want to and putting something out the world and and having it sort of be for other people. And I think that sometimes because of this fear of being unsafe and thinking that I'm not as good as the other creative person or as my ideas are not as strong as the other person, the safe thing is you hide myself. And so
00:09:27
Speaker
Sometimes I express my creativity through journaling or, uh, you know, pictures on there, you know, just taking pictures on my phone and just leaving them there. Um, you know, it's, it's fun for me and it fulfills me, but it doesn't make me feel like an artist. Um, and it doesn't make me feel like a capital C creative and it almost feels like.
00:09:51
Speaker
it's just this journey that's inward for myself. And I think what we what we are discovering is that sometimes ah sometimes you need to unleash that creativity to to evolve, to find different different ways of thinking. And I also think that sometimes maybe our self-perception can be changed by the way the way we see ourselves on a recorded podcast, on a recorded video, one i through our art or through the way other people see us. Yeah,
Vulnerability in Sharing Creativity
00:10:23
Speaker
I absolutely had chills when you were like creating this thing, which going back to what we said earlier, like which came from you, and then putting it out there and just
00:10:32
Speaker
just for other people, like for other people to do it. Like it it's just such that like whole journey of like creating something and like from like whatever your heart, whatever calls you to create and then putting it out there for, which is just such a vulnerable thing. And I think that's one of the things we, you know, said that we wanted to try on this podcast. Cause you and I both have this thing where we hide our creativity. Like we're both in these like,
00:10:57
Speaker
Um, and our, let's say our 40, 40 hour work week jobs, like we support creatives, but like, which in my opinion means we have taste.
00:11:10
Speaker
We're the editors, we edit. Exactly. Exactly. And like I, yeah, I, I think it's just something that, um, I'm so glad we're talking about and I, it feels to me that,
00:11:25
Speaker
I've also hidden so, so, so much like of not just like, I think some people like know me as like, I think some people will say that I am like a creative, but I don't ever feel that way. And I think that's because I'm not intentionally putting something out for the universe to just receive. And I think I'm happy that we're doing this. Yeah. Yeah. So you saw somebody many like really awesome thing. So it was just like, holy cow, what do I, I gotta take notes.
00:11:51
Speaker
That's the that's the that's what you're doing. You're you're you're self criticizing. I absolutely am. No, you're self editing before anyone can tell you you did a bad job. It's true. Like the editing, the editor in me. Oh, my God. Holds me back. Like I i like that is the reason why I hide all the things.
00:12:14
Speaker
um But, you know, like, there's a quote that Ira Glass, who's just at This American Life, um said about like, what no one tells you, um I'm gonna, I'm goingnna botch this but essentially what like no one tells you when you're first starting out is like the first things that you put out are gonna be shit and then like you have all of this taste but you don't know because like creativity is you know to be generic a muscle and it is something that you have to like kind of
00:12:45
Speaker
feel out and your thoughts, your first attempts are not going to be at your taste level. So I think there's just like that week is something that like everyone should explore.
00:12:58
Speaker
yeah Yeah, and actually I really identify with that. um and And speaking of literal tastes, like taste buds, I pride myself on having really good flavor tastes. My parents always cooked for us. like I grew up in a home where my where my mom always cooked, even my dad cooked, and it was always home cooked recipes. And, and you know, as ah as ah with an Italian family,
00:13:20
Speaker
These recipes are passed down by generations and so the ingredients are always the the focal point and having fresh ingredients and just using that and starting there and not even using not even using recipes, just using your your taste in order to In order to cook and and and while you're cooking, you you take a little spoon and you you sip a little, you know, take a little the taste of the sauce and you add a little bit of salt, you add a little pepper. And it's it's amazing. And like, you know, by doing that and having that baseline, it was hard for me to like eat
00:13:56
Speaker
at restaurants knowing that like what specifically Italian restaurants because I'm like knowing like how these home cooked flavors are supposed to taste like and then you know you taste this pasta that's not al dente it's like so soft and they're like like why would you do that or like you know it's overly salted or overly sugary or the sauce or something like anyway all that being said when I moved out on my own and started of cooking for myself I was so confident. I was like, I i know how to cook. Like I watched my mom cook. I watched my dad cook. Like i I know what to do and I don't need any recipes. I don't know. I just have, I just trust my gut. And I was so wrong because I was like, ah Oh my gosh. Like sometimes you, sometimes you burn the onions. Sometimes you, you know, overcook the pasta. Sometimes the, sometimes it just doesn't turn out right. And I think it took me, ah like I was just like,
00:14:50
Speaker
You know, if of the mentality of like, well, I cooked this now I have to eat it and I have to eat this shitty food. And surely I mean, so like you have to like eat what you cook. Like I feel like there's another metaphor there. I like reap what you sow. Like but well this is a whole other.
00:15:09
Speaker
There's a whole other conversation. But no, but you have to face that. You have to, I think, face the shitty, like the shitty creative whatever. So funny, I think it's, I also have been thinking about food as a creative process. as we like And it's,
00:15:26
Speaker
It's true. It's very exciting to me like to kind of like sit from like lifelong like door dasher to like really mean like I need to take care of myself. How do I like make this fun and exciting and like tune into the creative process that is like how I cut my vegetables or how I like choose to season this or how do I just like make this a smidge healthier and taste better that to me is a creative mindset like it's just really challenging your brain to go like away from I don't know whatever your like dietary needs are or whatever but like go away from like the standard and like try to
00:15:59
Speaker
make something delicious. So yeah, I think chefs also hats hats off like home chefs, professional chefs, creatives, truly creatives. hu Yeah, it's trusting your intuition. it's it's It's going with what you know is going to make it right for you. But what what is right? It's like, how do you know what's right? And that's also that's also something that like, you know, You you you can talk to so like ten different chefs and they can all tell you the different ratios of of like you know cheese to pepper and a kacho pepe like it's there's there's all these different things that you can talk about and debate and it's i actually think that that's what makes.
00:16:43
Speaker
creativity interesting because you can apply that to to anything. like Everyone has different taste vastly different tastes in music. you know You don't know what's good, what's bad. like what What makes good music? Is it just whatever someone puts out there or is it the highly curated, highly produced, highly edited? It can go in ah any direction.
00:17:06
Speaker
I'm actually really excited to have like an entire episode on music. I know you're probably waiting for that as well. Oh, I can't wait. But like, I guess we should talk about like, what are, I think that like, when you are forced to like put yourself out there, I feel like a true like heart, like
Overcoming Fear of Judgment
00:17:23
Speaker
heart tightening. Like I am terrified of that. And it's,
00:17:27
Speaker
I think it can be learned. So I don't know what type of i what type of things are you have you noticed that like you're just like, OK, I can get I can get past this. I think.
00:17:42
Speaker
I think this is something that a lot of people identify with. They don't necessarily like their to hear their own voice on a recording or on or on a screen. And and I think um once we were forced to be self-isolated during the pandemic um and you know we we had to be on screens and there was a lot of times where we are listening to ourselves, I really had to overcome that. And and i and um one of the things that I a comes to mind is I did this ah yoga a teacher training during the pandemic ah and
00:18:19
Speaker
It was online and truly it was the only time that I could dedicate to doing this. I felt like it was it was the only time that I had to myself where I wasn't distracted and I used my nice little pandemic check to pay for that little training. um And so I was feeling really good. And when it came down to actually doing the teaching, it was again, one of those moments where it's like, I've been practicing for years and I know what I'm talking about and I know what the poses are and I know what to do.
00:18:47
Speaker
But once you're the one saying things, it's it's a totally different story. You have to you have to be calm. You have to breathe. You have to remember that you're you can't rush through things. You have to align people. You have to you have to follow along. And of course, you add that challenge of being on ah on ah on a screen. But I think um with what interest that when I when I did my first like teaching, the the teacher like his first feedback to me was like, you can't hide yourself. You can't hide yourself when you're in front of a classroom and you're the one that people are following. You have to speak like every word you're saying is right and true and worth following. And I, I think that that hit me in a moment where I
00:19:40
Speaker
Notice that yes, I was hiding myself in that moment of teaching, but it it applies to so much and it really hit me on a personal level because of because you know everything we've just been talking about and really a sickly, just why am I hiding in myself? right like i know I know what I'm doing, I know what I'm talking about, but but why do I want to hide in this moment? And so that was something that really struck me and and really made me be self-reflective.
00:20:08
Speaker
i Yeah, and you know and actually thinking about that, what what your teacher said is like you have to speak true, right? And right and you have to there is and and and going back to like why you were hiding, there it there is this thing in this creative process. It's like, well, what am I hiding? What am I afraid of? um And then also this like
00:20:30
Speaker
and i I'm hoping to get to a place with my own creativity. um I'm you know trying to do some writing. I'm trying to do what? Podcasting. and i I'm hoping that I can get to a place where I have lost that fear of putting something out and also, but even more than losing the fear of putting something out, because like I think that that that's actually in some ways easier, but this like belief that I'm putting in something out and it's right and true, like that to me feels like a really big step from a creative way. Being creative, especially outwardly creative, and opening yourself up to critiques of other people,
00:21:10
Speaker
such a
Critiques and Creative Growth
00:21:11
Speaker
fearless act. Like every day, anyone who's sitting there fucking commenting on anyone putting shit on, there's a lot of stuff out there. Oh my God. The truth is, is like, you have to earn that privilege. I mean, Janara and I do like to, you know,
00:21:30
Speaker
We have not earned that privilege. Maybe this is us putting our own feet to the fire like but we say here critiquing all these people now we have to put ourselves out there too.
00:21:45
Speaker
no i read No, I think that's right. That is the balance. We do. We have to try something. And I think also like ah this is something I've really been thinking about a lot. And with my I'm trying to write a novel. I'll probably be saying that for the next five years, but um you need like a V1, right? Like you've got me I mean, today, like I think you and I kind of like have this tendency to maybe spin our wheels a little bit about like making it perfect.
00:22:14
Speaker
And I have to know I need a view. I need to get like something out there to work with. Because if you don't even have something out there, you can't work with anything. There's nothing to work with. Yeah, and actually that is so interesting. That is actually so powerful to talk about because That fear of being critiqued is what's making you hide yourself in that moment. you're you're You're so scared that someone's going to come out here and put it a negative comment or or tell you that this was a bad writing or this is a bad story and this is a flop.
00:22:46
Speaker
and Partially, it's because we do it and we we do it to other people. So I think i think in the process, it's it's softening us in a way to to be able to just be like, this is a natural part of the process. ah However, I think that the critiquing is what makes people better. That's truly the only way to improve. And- Oh my God, so true.
00:23:16
Speaker
whenever like the only reason why like you know to to be teaching and to be having to telling some to have someone listen to my voice and tell me how I sound helped me because then the next time I was like well I'm keeping this in mind I i i will speak clearly I will speak confidently and and I think that that might that will help you in your writing too not to say that of course of course it's like a double-edged sword you open yourself up to to negativity and yes maybe you maybe you internalize it and and it and it blocks your creativity and it makes you want to hide yourself even more. But you know I think it's i think me how do you how do you how you overcome it? and i don't I don't know if there's a one answer. i don't know if it's I don't know if it's something you ever overcome. I think maybe it's one of those things where you just have to approach it every time as its as its own different situation.
00:24:13
Speaker
Yeah, I think like, well, I think when it comes to like negative critiques, you can you just have to perhaps take them with a grain of salt. Like when they're critiques that are like meant to make you better, which I think is the true like beauty behind a critique, I think is that it is meant to have you think in a different way about about your approach and like improve. But especially with the negative critiques, which I'm sure you know we'll probably see lots of one-star reviews and things like that, though I feel bad for even putting that out in the universe. I know, okay, whatever, two stars. But if they have merit. right like and i And I just think that, especially in this place where it's so easy to hide behind
00:24:54
Speaker
like your screen or your like iPhone and just like spew out like this ugly stuff. Like that is the thing about creativity is it is not it is it just feels so like the antithesis of like negativity, right? I mean, it's not like one to one, but like it just feels like it's just like there's so many people who are just like it's so easy to put out negativity. Creativity is like such this like spiritual, beautiful thing. And it is pushing against all of that. And it is louder.
00:25:21
Speaker
And like that is what's so cool because you feel it. So it comes from someone. And then when you're receiving whatever this creative expression is, you feel it. And yeah true haters can't do that. True haters got nothing on that.
00:25:37
Speaker
I feel that. I feel that so much. I feel it so hard. Yeah. Silence the haters. And we don't need that. We don't need that in our life. Like it's it's yeah. I think I think to your point that a good critique will will make you think and it'll make you make you stronger and it'll make you improve. But you have to be able to filter that out. And you have to think you also have to be strong enough to and resilient enough to be like, I can tell the difference. I know what's meant to to to push me and to help me versus I know that this person is just trying to bring me down. Yeah. um and And I don't think I don't think that's I don't think that's a that's an inherent thing for people. I think like. And ah and don't call me on a scientist, but I do feel like, you know, just this feel this this need to belong in a society, this need to fit in as just humans. um We don't want to be negatively critiqued. We don't want to be
00:26:34
Speaker
pushed to the side or said that we're bad about, to to to something. But like the end of the day, like, you know, we have to, we have to decide what we want to do. We have to decide how we want to live our lives. And it's either you live your life based on what someone's telling you you're goodnna or you're not good at or you're just going to do it. It's going to do it and you're going to explore it.
00:26:54
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. um So that is I think exactly what we're going to do for the next couple of forever long and so until we until we feel like we've earned all of the critiques that we've put out in the world. No, I'm just kidding. That would take a long time, a long, long time.
00:27:13
Speaker
Okay, but yeah, we'll soften up. We'll soften up on our own critiques of other people currently. But anyway, um well, I think that it kind
Building a Creative Community
00:27:21
Speaker
of like wraps it up. Thank you so much for listening to also that. um Come connect with us. Tell us, how do you express creativity in your life? And what are some of the things you are hiding from? If you follow us on Insta at that, also that pod, you can leave us a comment and you can share it with us. We'd love to hear what you're up to. A big part of you know building a creative life is all about community. So please be sure to stay connected with us. um You can find us on all the socials at also that pod. And if you like what you heard, please be sure to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. If you're feeling like you can use some good karma on the world, please consider consider giving us a five-star rating or leaving a review. Those things really help us out. Thanks, y'all. We will see you next week. Peace out. Peace out.