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058 | Marriage Episode 3: On Sexual Sin
629 Plays3 years ago
In this episode Josh and Phy discuss Ephesians 5 again in light of sexual immorality. They share their own testimonies of sexual sin, how they have overcome these struggles, and what boundaries are in place to walk in holiness. Sexuality resources are in the show notes on the blog.
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Transcript
Introduction to Verity Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome to Verity. I'm your host, Felicia Masonheimer, an author, speaker, and Bible teacher. This podcast will help you embrace the history and depth of the Christian faith, ask questions, seek answers, and devote yourself to becoming a disciple of Jesus Christ. You don't have to settle for watered-down Christian teaching. And if you're ready to go deeper, God is just as ready to take you there. This is Verity, where every woman is a theologian.
Discussing Sexual Sin in Marriage
00:00:30
Speaker
Welcome back to Verity Podcast, you guys. We are in the midst of our Honest Marriage series, and I, Felicia, am here with my husband, Josh. Hello. And we are talking this week about walking through sexual sin in your marriage or how to support one another when you are struggling with sexual sin, whether it is your husband or if it's the wife,
00:00:55
Speaker
or both of you, either in the same ways or in different ways. Now, before we start this, I want to be clear that we aren't counselors and we are not equipped to counsel people on their sexual struggles. So before you email us and ask for specific advice, please keep that in mind.
00:01:15
Speaker
we would love for you to instead reach out to a licensed counselor and to your pastor or your church staff, hopefully both, to get the support that you need. So we're going to just be very open and transparent about our own story, but then also look at what scripture says about sexual sin before and after marriage. We just want you to get the support that you need and that can only come from a licensed counselor and a pastor. Hopefully you can talk to both
00:01:43
Speaker
To get the support you need both spiritually and mentally. Okay, I'm going to start by reading Ephesians 5 again. Last week we looked at Ephesians 5 when we talked about gender roles, but this week we're looking at Ephesians 5 to talk about sexual immorality. And I'm going to read Ephesians 5, 1 through 5, 8.
Understanding Adultery and Sexual Conduct
00:02:04
Speaker
It says,
00:02:06
Speaker
Therefore, be imitators of God as beloved children, and walk in love as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But sexual immorality in all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.
00:02:30
Speaker
For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous, that is, an idolater, has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not associate with them, for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of the light."
00:02:56
Speaker
So it's pretty clear here that Paul is writing to the church at Ephesus. Ephesus was a city where there was a temple to Artemis. You might remember reading about this in the book of Acts when the silversmiths basically go on strike, saying that Paul was removing their God from centrality of worship. And part of this cult to Artemis involved a lot of sexual
00:03:22
Speaker
behavior that was contrary to Mosaic law and contrary to what Jesus taught about sexuality because Jesus affirmed the sexual ethic of the Old Testament. And so when we look at the Old Testament and look at the command specifically in the Ten Commandments regarding adultery, that word for adultery meant any sexual act outside the covenant of marriage.
00:03:46
Speaker
which was between a man and a woman. So this would include premarital sex. It would include, as Jesus articulated, lusting after a woman or man you're not married to. It would include any range of sexual behaviors that are outside that holy covenant between a husband and a wife.
00:04:08
Speaker
When we see this word for sexual immorality here, we are basically looking at the base for anything that doesn't fall in line with that covenant marriage relationship.
Cultural Influences on Sexual Attitudes
00:04:20
Speaker
As we talk about this, I've been talking a lot, we need to let Josh have a say.
00:04:26
Speaker
As we talk about this, we are looking at sexual immorality as adultery encompassing anything outside of that covenanted sexual relationship between the husband and the wife. I think that looking at this passage, it seems like the people of Ephesus, it had kind of a misguided reference.
00:04:50
Speaker
Like they made a statue to Artemis and went to great lengths for building the temple and all that. But obviously they're still just like joking about sex and making like having crude humor and stuff. And so it's all like just a joke to them. And so they weren't being reverent about it the way like God made a holy sacrament.
00:05:17
Speaker
That's a good point. I never thought about the connection between crude joking and sexual immorality that it actually reflected their heart attitude towards sexuality, possibly. That's a good point as well. So before we get into like some of the practicals, would you be willing to share a little of your own
00:05:41
Speaker
background with sexual sin, whether before, probably before we were married and then when we were dating to present day.
Personal History with Pornography
00:05:49
Speaker
We're not going to be explicit about this, but just kind of a general. Yeah. So I stumbled upon pornography when I was 12 and, you know, being homeschooled Christian
00:06:03
Speaker
living in the middle of the woods, you know, I didn't get a whole lot of exposure outside of, you know, my dad's medical books or, you know, dial up once it came to our house. And it just kind of was a seed that grew. And, you know, I just kind of like began to explore it on my own and just, you know, I guess I was just kind of navigating it all like solo.
00:06:33
Speaker
alone. It followed me for the past 20 years and it played a big role in my marriage when we were dating. It was a struggle for us to stay pure. I truly wasn't saved until I was in college, but
00:07:00
Speaker
I think that seed had just grown so much at that point that it was something that plagued me, but I just couldn't find the right resources or the motivation to shirk it and finally be rid of it. I mean, I finally was able to.
00:07:25
Speaker
And I will say that, like, you know, they talk about being a daily struggle, but it's it's a daily decision to stay out of pornography. And, you know, we will be tempted and we will, you know, face like many temptations, but that doesn't mean that we are sitting
00:07:53
Speaker
Yeah, that's a good distinction.
Experience with Erotica and Media Boundaries
00:07:55
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And so similar to Josh, I was 12 when I was exposed to erotica, which is pornography in book form. I was also homeschooled in a great Christian home, but I found this book at a garage sale and it didn't have a cover. I didn't know what it was. And of course was curious and started seeking out more of these books to kind of piece together
00:08:19
Speaker
a better understanding of what was going on. And at that point, shame really keeps you quiet. And so you don't get the help that you need. And I lived a very double life. So I was saved in my teens. I was saved at 15. But part of the reason for that was my own understanding of my sinfulness and the shame I felt over the double life I was leading because I was secretly struggling with my addiction to erotica.
00:08:47
Speaker
But I didn't know how to get free. And so that's what really brought me to Christ. But even after I became a believer, I did not get free completely. I was still struggling. And I struggled very much until early college when I met Josh. And then we really struggled to adhere to our boundaries and to honor one another sexually.
00:09:15
Speaker
We had never slept together when we got married, I will say that, but we still were really struggling to even adhere to those boundaries. So even today, I still have to be on guard and aware of what I'm watching on TV, what I'm reading in books, especially fiction novels. For years and years and years, I did not go to the movie theater.
00:09:40
Speaker
I didn't watch a lot of TV shows that I couldn't vet beforehand because of the sexual content. I didn't read fiction unless it was classic fiction because I just couldn't trust that there wouldn't be a sexual scene. And we'll get more into the boundaries in a little bit, but basically I'm trying to express that, like Josh just said, I do believe that it can be a daily victory.
00:10:04
Speaker
You probably will be tempted. I am tempted at different ways and times but I don't like the phrasing it will be a daily struggle because I feel like you've already spoken failure over yourself at that point. So many people use the word struggle like I struggled the other day as like a symbol of them.
00:10:26
Speaker
failing. Right. They say, I struggled. And what you mean is you sinned, you sinned against God, you sinned against your body and you sinned against your spouse if you're married. And you have to be honest about that in order to actually confess the sin and move on. And, and so I think the phrasing really is important because
00:10:45
Speaker
If you don't say, no, I didn't struggle, I failed. And then before that happens,
Supporting a Spouse with Sexual Sin
00:10:51
Speaker
if you say, I have an opportunity to be victorious today, I think that is a huge mindset shift for someone struggling with this. So that's a little bit of where Josh and I have come from. But now I kind of want to shift over to talking about what does it look like to walk with your spouse when you know that they either struggle with sexual sin in some capacity,
00:11:14
Speaker
or have struggled in the past. And so this is going to look different couple to couple. I think the severity of somebody's addiction is probably going to have a big factor. Or even just their susceptibility. Yeah, the trust that's been broken.
00:11:33
Speaker
past abuses. I think that if someone has been sexually abused in the past, that has a huge impact on the nature of their sexual addiction. I'd also, if a spouse has been sexually abused, and then their husband is the one addicted to porn, I think there's a whole lot of trauma there that has to be dealt with. So there isn't a one size fits all approach to this.
00:12:01
Speaker
But, you know, basically what we saw in Ephesians 5 is sexual immorality and impurity should not even be named among you, is what he says, as is proper for the saints. So we know it shouldn't be there.
00:12:16
Speaker
It shouldn't. And that's our starting place. So what would you say, Josh, like for husbands or men? What would you say in terms of like boundaries or advice for men who are struggling with sexual sin? Husbands, I should say.
00:12:35
Speaker
I think you can really get down to the details of like, you know, oh, like you struggle in this way, so you should cut XYZ out of your life. For me, like as a husband to Felicia and having struggled with what I have, like I currently am not on social media at all.
00:13:01
Speaker
And that is because there has been some emotional failures in the past. And it's just an option that shouldn't be there for reaching out an ex-girlfriend, or messaging somebody I shouldn't, or just perusing pictures on Instagram. And so I just removed that.
00:13:30
Speaker
You know, there is a degree of willpower that you should have and trust in and leaning on the Lord's strength. But there is also, you know, there are also times when you have to remove yourself from a situation that you know is not a good situation.
00:13:51
Speaker
Yeah, and I mean I was actually really bummed when he left social media because I couldn't send him memes and funny reels anymore. But if that is what is the most important thing for him to pursue holiness, then that's more important.
00:14:09
Speaker
and it blesses everyone in our relationship, the Lord and us, by you choosing to take that step of obedience. What else would you say? You said we don't need to get into all the details of what you can and can't do based on the individual situations, but is there anything else that you would say to husbands who are struggling? I think the biggest game changer for me was scripture memorization.
Overcoming Temptations with Scripture
00:14:39
Speaker
And I, I went through a course that I was reviewing for my friend Matt Jacobson and it's faithful man. And he has a freedom course for, you know, pornography, essentially. And that was like really impactful for me. It kind of got me over the last, you know,
00:15:06
Speaker
The last little hill that I was struggling up and the scripture memory, there was like five verses and I would just recite them whenever I was going into a situation that I knew would be a vulnerable one where I knew I'd be tempted. And so I just recited the scripture to myself and it gave me strength to resist temptation.
00:15:35
Speaker
That's awesome. And it's super simple. I think it's more simple than a lot of people realize. They think that, like, oh, reciting a verse, that's too basic. You know, like, that's too basic. That's not going to work. Well, I mean, 2 Timothy 2.15 was one of them. And it says to be diligent, to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker that doesn't have to be ashamed, correctly teaching the word of truth.
00:16:03
Speaker
And so it's like we don't have to be ashamed, but we have to be diligent to get there. And diligence in relying on God is like the real way to do it. And knowing the Word is what enables us to correctly teach it.
00:16:29
Speaker
Yeah, scripture was big for me too, and maybe not necessarily a specific memory verse.
Repentance and Grace in Overcoming Sin
00:16:38
Speaker
Well, there were a couple. 1 John 1.9 was really important to me. The passage is talking about Jesus as an advocate and then says,
00:16:46
Speaker
if we confess our sins, He's faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. And that was a verse I held on to in high school and college when I was struggling the most with this because I felt like, well, if I fail, what's the point then? Did I repent for real last time if I fail again? Like, should I just give up and just get hardened to it? But what I
00:17:12
Speaker
I read a book called The Gospel Primer by Milton Vincent, who is still alive, but he writes like he lived in 1750, so I didn't realize that he was still actually alive and pastoring. But thank you, Mr. Vincent, for this book. It was a little thin book about the gospel, and it had a whole section on repentance. And what he said in this book was, it is not presumptuous to run to God in repentance immediately after you sin. It's your only
00:17:41
Speaker
option. And that was the turning point for me, because I would like wait a few days after I failed sexually to go to the Lord and ask for forgiveness. Or I'd be like, I have to pay penance in some way and feel miserable for a while. But what Milton Vincent was saying is, no, Jesus died to cleanse you. First John one nine, don't waste any time.
00:18:09
Speaker
run back to him and he will do that work. And when you accept that grace and you live as someone under grace, you're much more likely to continue to walk in that grace. It's funny you use the phrase turning point for you because that's what repentance really is. It's turning away from sin and running toward God.
00:18:33
Speaker
And I think that it's really easy for guys, especially to just be like, well, like, you know, you mess up and it's like, sorry, God, like, you know, I feel bad. I messed up again. And there isn't any true repentance because then you like go right.
00:18:52
Speaker
back to watching the movie you're watching or doing whatever led you to that failure. And it's really about taking all the precautions that you can, realistically, of course, but learning the scriptures and being in a daily devotion with the Lord so that you have put on the armor of God and
00:19:19
Speaker
also just avoiding situations that you know. You know, like you always know.
Eternal Consequences of Unrepentant Sin
00:19:27
Speaker
Like, I shouldn't be doing this. There's not gonna be anyone else at the apartment with us. Do you think it's okay? It's like, no, it's not okay because you're probably gonna end up struggling because that's what happened last time. Right, right. Yeah, I think there has to be an element of honesty about your weaknesses and then also ask the question,
00:19:54
Speaker
What is the most important thing to me? My freedom to do what I want or the holiness and peace of God. The devil will always make the picture look small, but big picture is what will bring you freedom because you see the eternal ramifications.
00:20:18
Speaker
And there are eternal ramifications, not necessarily that you sin sexually and, oh my goodness, I've lost my salvation because Jesus Christ secures our salvation. But it does say here that people who live a lifestyle of sexual immorality, a lifestyle of impurity and idolatry, which I would argue that when you continually fall into sexual sin over and over and over and over again, there's an...
00:20:47
Speaker
You're addicted. There's an idolatry issue there. There's an idolatry of sexual desire. If you have this happening as a consistent lifestyle with either no repentance or very little repentance, then you have to ask the question, did you actually follow Jesus ever? Do you actually give your allegiance to Jesus or is your allegiance to your sexual desires? Are you being guided by the Holy Spirit?
00:21:15
Speaker
right? Or just guided by guilt? Like, are you sad that you got caught? Or sad that you know the Bible says it's wrong? Or are you truly, truly grieving in your spirit by this problem? And will you do whatever it takes to eradicate it from your life? I think that's the question. And both of us had to get to that point before anything changed. Yeah. And also a lot of people we touched on earlier think that there is no escape. Yeah.
Finding a Way Out from Temptation
00:21:45
Speaker
There is no way out. It's something you're going to struggle with for the rest of your life, is what we said. And it's not true, because looking here at 1 Corinthians 10.13, no temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind.
00:22:05
Speaker
And God is faithful. He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it so
00:22:18
Speaker
He provides a way out and he's not going to allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able at this point in time. So if you are taking the necessary steps on your behalf, God's doing the rest of the work and you can be sin free from the temptation.
00:22:45
Speaker
Right. And so victory, it is a lifestyle. I always say this, victory is a lifestyle, not a destination. Like it's not like, right. You're not going to get to this. Well, you might, some people do get to a point where they just aren't tempted towards something anymore, but a lot of people still will be tempted. And so they have to keep their boundaries pretty consistent. And I think for some women or men who struggle sexually,
00:23:13
Speaker
there is this carelessness with boundaries. It's almost like, oh, well, it's okay if I watch Game of Thrones because my spouse is with me. It won't matter. But those images are stored away in your brain. And then later when you're alone, there they are. Or maybe, oh, my book club is reading this fiction book. And yeah, it's got a lot of sexual content, but I'll just flip through those parts. I'll be fine.
00:23:38
Speaker
But you have to be honest with yourself on if that if you are actually able to handle that. And so we've talked a lot about the men's side. But for the women, I think women make a lot of excuses for romance novels, including Christian ones. And I know that it's not super, you know,
00:23:56
Speaker
maybe acceptable to come down on these because people will say, no, it's not that bad and I'm not reading a Harlequin novel. Almost every fiction novel these days has a sexual plot line or one or more sexual scenes. If you know that this is a problem for you, if you know that you picture these scenes or you fantasize about them or you return to them in your mind,
00:24:20
Speaker
Even if you're not regularly doing that, they are shaping your view of sex, just like visual pornography is doing for a lot of other men and women. And so we have to be willing to say, I'm not going to watch that show. I don't care how popular it is. Or you know what? I'm going to be that nerdy family that goes and buys, gets vid angel and it
00:24:41
Speaker
cleans out all the sexual content. That's what Josh and I do with popular TV shows. We use VidAngel and we clean out the sexual content and that's how we watch it because we want to take this seriously and it's not prudish or babyish to do that. It's choosing what you need to choose in order to walk in holiness.
00:25:02
Speaker
And so I think we have to be willing to do what's necessary and stop worrying about what other people think or how they joke about us and care more about holiness than about being necessarily cool, for lack of a better word.
00:25:19
Speaker
Oh man, okay. So as we're wrapping up this episode, Josh, is there anything you would say as a husband who has struggled sexually?
Being Open about Sexual Sin
00:25:31
Speaker
What would you say to wives who maybe are in this position of having a husband who's struggling this way? Is there anything that you would advise? What I'd say to the husband, you want to be open with her about it?
00:25:45
Speaker
as far as your sin goes, but you also want to be prepared for the hurt that you're going to bring because it is hurtful. And just understand that and not let it derail you. Or get mad at her for being hurt. Yeah, use it as a motivator to bolster your efforts against it. Maybe take note of how you feel
00:26:15
Speaker
like confessing to her and seeing her face and even like really remember that moment as a reminder that you don't want to feel that way again. You don't want to have that conversation again. And to the wives, I would say it is not necessary to ask for details of what he's looking at as a general rule. Now, maybe a certain marriage counselor, depending on the situation might say, yes, you do need to know certain things. But I mean,
00:26:44
Speaker
becomes a comparison game. If you're asking for details of what specifically he was looking at, I don't think that's necessary or helpful. I think it is going to make it 10 times worse for a wife with a husband who is battling pornography. I also, we both, we would agree, the wife can't be the accountability partner. The husband can't be the accountability partner.
00:27:10
Speaker
for sexual sin. They should be made aware of the struggle, but they can't be the person who is holding all the pieces together because it's very hard to be honest to your spouse because you hurt them every time. So it would be better to have a same-sex accountability partner, whichever gender you are, to be holding you accountable.
00:27:34
Speaker
that might not be pornography. Again, that might be the romance novels you're reading, or it might be the movies you're watching, or it might be that you go on business trips and you have an attractive coworker. This was the case for me where I worked with a guy very closely for several years where there had to be boundaries in place because we got along really well and he was really funny.
00:27:58
Speaker
and things like that. And I could, I felt like, oh, he's just like a brother, you know, boundaries, you know, went down or walls went down and that's not a safe place to be. So for me, my boundaries look different than what Josh needed, but we both had to have them in order to honor each other. What would you say though to a wife whose husband is struggling?
00:28:23
Speaker
It's really important for her to know that it's not just like a one-off like, Oh, like he struggled this one time. He repented. Okay. We're all done with it because that's really.
00:28:36
Speaker
It's really difficult for him to come back and repent in the future or for him to feel like, not that he needs allowance to do it, but he needs the ally, the support of you, his wife, just seeing it as something he needs help going through because it's not just one and done.
00:29:05
Speaker
It is a continual process of healing for most, and so I think that would be the biggest thing. Understand that you're supporting him in this instead of opposing him in this, which is hard. Because the next time he feels like he should repent to you, you may say, I thought we were done with this.
00:29:35
Speaker
And he's like, I still am tempted in this way. So some compassion and understanding, but it is going to be hard because it is very hurtful.
Criticizing Cultural Media
00:29:45
Speaker
It's very painful. And you have so many questions and thoughts spinning in your head like, well, is it me? Am I the problem? And it's not you.
00:29:55
Speaker
Certainly there might be other marriage issues going on, but the actual battle with pornography isn't because you don't look a certain way, or you don't do certain things in the bedroom. It's an independent struggle of the spirit for him, or in a woman's case, for her.
00:30:13
Speaker
And our culture encourages it. Yes. And actually, this episode's getting long, but there's so much here. I noticed in watching Friends episodes, so in the last year or so, I've seen a few. I don't actually like Friends, and this is one of the reasons. The show Friends pushed pornography into public acceptance.
00:30:39
Speaker
it pushed it. And if you notice how often they mention watching pornography, watching it together, pushing the acceptability of pornography as a healthy relationship choice, normalizing it for men, this was back in the 90s.
00:30:55
Speaker
And then now here we are 25 years later looking at the fruit and the studies that are coming out saying that not only is this damaging to the brain, damaging to sexuality, it's also propagating sexual abuse and human trafficking. When we look at the narratives that are pushed by
00:31:18
Speaker
this media from years and years and years ago, we actually get to see the fruit and culture today. It has to stop somewhere. It has to stop somewhere. We have to take seriously what we're watching and engaging with and reading. That's not always on Pornhub. It's sometimes just right on Hulu and right on Netflix.
00:31:37
Speaker
it's there. It's everywhere. So we have to be willing to do what Paul said here and be imitators of God, not imitators of culture, and walk in love as Christ loved us, which means walking in holiness. So I feel like we could say a lot more about this, but I'll cut us off there.
Resources for Overcoming Sexual Addiction
00:31:59
Speaker
A couple resources
00:32:01
Speaker
I have a book for young women specifically called Christian Cosmo, The Sex Talk You Never Had. We have the ebook version and a print version available on the shop portion of my website. This book is mainly for women who've walked through sexual addiction or didn't receive a sex talk from their parents that was healthy and need to reframe their view of sex biblically. And so that book is available. But then Josh, you used the Freedom Course from Matt Jacobson at Faithful Man. Do you want to share anything about that?
00:32:31
Speaker
Yeah, it's a paid course, eight weeks, and it really takes you through all the steps of healing and achieving victory and breaks it down well. So I think that it was very impactful for me and he's open to start some like accountability groups as well in the future. So there's a community aspect that is definitely helpful as well.
00:33:01
Speaker
Yes. And then another resource that we both benefited from when we were first dating and married is the Dangerous Men Lust-Free Living Book and Unveil Lust-Free Living Book for Women. And I'm pretty sure there's not a whole lot in print, but they really are excellent and they helped us a lot.
00:33:24
Speaker
And so I will link all of these resources in the show notes, which will be on the blog at FeliciaMasonHimer.com. The episode will be honest marriage on sexual sin. I hope this was an encouragement to you wherever you're at in this journey, or if you know someone who's struggling, we want you to get the help that you need, whether you're a man or a woman, a couple together to really work
00:33:48
Speaker
to bring holiness and unity into your covenant and to heal from the pain of the past. That's our prayer for you.
00:33:58
Speaker
If you're listening to this marriage series, there's a good chance that you or someone you love is married. And that's fantastic because on December 7th, my brand new co-authored marriage book is launching into the world. It's called The Flirtation Experiment. And if that title intrigues you, good, because I can't wait for wives to pick this book up and be encouraged and equipped
00:34:24
Speaker
to pursue their husbands in ways they maybe never expected to do so. When I wrote this book, I was looking back on a year when I was really struggling to cultivate a relationship with Josh. I felt
00:34:39
Speaker
I felt lonely, I felt disconnected, and I realized that I could wait for him to change it or I could make the change. And so I made a list of 30 flirtations, all different kinds of ways to show him that I loved him. And through this experiment, I found that I actually was changed.
00:34:57
Speaker
I co-authored this book with my friend Lisa Jacobson who's been married 28 years to my 8 years and we alternate chapters showing you the ideas that we used to cultivate an intimate and fun romantic and flirtatious marriage. You can pre-order the book now
00:35:15
Speaker
Anywhere books are sold from Amazon to Barnes and Noble, the Christian book, or you can go to the flirtationexperiment.com to get two free chapters in the introduction and to be notified when the book launches. I hope you guys will grab it. We have some awesome bonuses for those who pre-order and I'm excited to get this book into your hands.
00:35:37
Speaker
Thank you for joining us for today's episode of Verity.
Connecting on Social Media
00:35:41
Speaker
You can connect with fellow listeners by following me on Instagram at Felicia Masonheimer or on our Facebook page by the same name. Also visit FeliciaMasonheimer.com for links to each episode and the show notes.