Transcript
Speaker: Bye!
Speaker: Yes. Yes.
Speaker: Oh my goodness. Hopefully you guys enjoyed your weekend. Hopefully you guys are
Speaker: Ready for the big day in a couple days tomorrow Sunday not Sunday, but Monday Christmas is right around the corner Clearly my my brain is not working. I do not want to watch Football in Spanish not that I'm listening to it, but I like my commentators white and American
Speaker: Happy Saturday. Happy Christmas. Whatever. Welcome to nonsense. It will nonsense. He's Jeffrey Glick. Pagging out doing our quote unquote Christmas special, if you will. It is Saturday night. You know, the door's open. Links are already in the chat. Jeff is on top of that.
Speaker: I have one job, I'm gonna do it right. Nicky said something about you being on top of something. Yeah, I am. He said he has to be on top of something. He's only four foot tall. Hey. Can you kill that lady? Hi, Dad. Hi, Mama. And let me get a stool and jump up and punch you in the nose.
Speaker: I said, don't make me get in school and jump up and punch you. I'll get a five foot step ladder and I'll punch you in the butt. What the hell's it up? Oh, they just had this, they just had a stats. Mason Rudolph starting today went off. We do for like 300 yards, four touchdowns, five touchdowns, something like that, including this, this gym right here. 86 yards, first play of the game.
Speaker: Yeah, to pick it down. Just texted me. He's like, who the fuck was that? I got a little rabbit emoji that said, Hey, I could have done Eastern Rudolph. Won't you guide our team tonight is what all the signs were saying. The Steelers are on the three game losing streak and the Bengals are on a one game winning or a three game winning streak. However, mathematically without a lot of things happening, the Steelers are out of the playoffs.
Speaker: But if the Steelers won today, they would essentially knock the Bengals out of the playoffs as well. So the Steelers on their third string quarterback. When it falls to the wall, beat that breaks off of Cincinnati today. But their quarterback that was playing was the quarterback that famously got his head caved in by my favorite Cleveland Browns player, the one I was scared.
Speaker: Oh, there you go. And he hasn't started a game since like 2020 or 2021 or something like that. Oh, wow. So he should be well rested. He was definitely well rested. He did look really good. However, welcome to Nonsense with Nonsense, everybody. Like I said, he's Jeff. I'm Glick. We're hanging out doing our little Christmas show. We'll have our normal shenanigans, but I'm sure we'll get into some kind of Christmas conversations.
Speaker: Well, actually I have a question. Well, before you ask your question, let me tell people where they can find us. Yeah, please. Hopefully you guys, maybe some of you guys tuned in last night and you got to hang out with me while we did clicks house of music and you got to hear some good Christmas music. I didn't let you guys down. Um,
Speaker: But you can find that and all of our shows and all of our show related stuff on all the social medias, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter. Uh, I guess X formerly known as Twitter and, um, Sports getting away. Yeah. Right. Uh,
Speaker: And tick tock you can also come and hang out with us every Monday's every Monday, Wednesday and Saturday. God words are fucking hard. I even had a drink yet on YouTube, Twitch and Facebook. You can get in the chatter's box and hang out and shoot the shit with us.
Speaker: And you can also listen to us anytime, any place, wherever you listen to podcasts at all at nonsensical nonsense podcast, or you can simply go to bio .link slash nonsensical nonsense. It's going to have all those links for you to click on and give us a follow. And don't forget why you're there. Check out our sponsors like liquid IV and W energy. And at checkout, use our promo code words are hard to save you some money.
Speaker: get you a little discount on some good good products, products that I use. Jeff has used one of them because he lives in a third world country and one can't be shipped to. What are you going to do? You know, we do we do love our energy and our liquid IV here on the show. It's a fucking lifesaver. Amen to that. At the end of the day, not only not only is it a lifesaver, but it's a pocketbook saver. Holy shit.
Speaker: uh... but i have a question for you sir being it's christmas uh... you know that you know we are both huge movie fans
Speaker: And of course, you know, I've already started Reacher and I can't believe you didn't realize it was on but I didn't either so whatever I didn't think it started until I didn't either 14 days No, I you know, I actually said the same thing. I was just kind of I you know, like I said, I was going through tiktok South Tulsa King
Speaker: ads and shit and I was like fuck off I gotta watch this so I watched it and I realized holy shit Reacher's on so um but um so I have a smile a small top 10 for you if it were uh but but my question is this what is your top all -time greatest christmas movie ever
Speaker: And the list is long and distinguished, by the way. Well, we can just keep it at 10. We'll be here all fucking night. Believe it or not, I literally looked it up and I was like, fuck me, it's not way longer than 10. What is your staple? Like, like it's not Christmas until you see X movie. Yeah, I mean.
Speaker: I obviously die hard is one of those movies that I really like to watch. How about, you know, I can watch it anytime of the year, but it's just like a Christmas movie in my opinion. Same with legal weapon one. I usually watch both of them around this time of year, but, um, or gremlins. Um, you know, that's Christian movies. Well deal with it. Um, but I really, you know, one, the one thing that I do look forward to that I really only watch around Christmas time is, is like home alone.
Speaker: Okay. Well, see, mine has to be the greatest. And I have a clip. Hey kids. I heard on the news that an airline pilot spotted Santa's sled on its way in from New York. You serious, Clark? It never gets old. You serious, Clark?
Speaker: Uh, but yeah, it is, uh, has a lamp booth. Chris was a vacation. I love those movies, but, um, you know, I liked that movie. I liked that movie, but you got the link buddy. Come on in. Well, I have, it's not your favorite. I got a poopoo on it a little bit. I think it's seriously overrated. You're overrated, but that's okay.
Speaker: Well, I have I believe I have just I say that because like It doesn't it doesn't hold up, you know what I mean? Like totally holds up like even as a grown -ass adult and somebody that's seen and I'm not saying the greatest Christian movie of all time But as an adult
Speaker: I can still watch Home Alone and get a chuckle out of it, get enjoyment out of it, and it makes me laugh. Okay. You know, like, I know that as Tim said last night during my music show, it's the only movie. Joe Pesci doesn't get whacked in.
Speaker: It is true. It was like, yeah, but I wish he got whacked in that movie because, but like, you know, you know, that, you know, that, that little psychopath Macaulay Culkin, which I said last night, I believe that he grew up and became jigsaw. Oh yeah. Well, yeah. That's, that's the family. What eight year old has that mindset to do all that?
Speaker: Yeah. I mean, well, if you've ever seen the good son, you're like, I get it now. Yeah. Psycho. You know, when he's getting ready.
Speaker: to throw the paint bucket. It's like, you know, it's coming. But as soon as it happens, I still know. I'm sorry. But the one that gets me every fucking time is is lost in New York when he throws the brick and it hits dude right in the fucking face and you hear it like you can hear him drag the brick as he picks it up. And it's got that distinct brick sound. But I have hours. What do I do? Did they get delivered from Walmart?
Speaker: Uh, is there not a name or anything on it? Sullivan. Bob. No address, no nothing. Uh, if it came from Walmart, I'd maybe call them. Okay. Or I can bring them in. Is anything good in there? Pork chops, sauerkraut, mashed potatoes. Oh, they got their freaking New Year's. Yeah. Yeah. I would call it. Maybe they can look it up and be like, Hey, because more than likely it's probably going to be one of our neighbors right here because they keep delivering our shit to, uh,
Speaker: These guys right next door. Well, I have in styles. This is just their list of most popular Christmas movies. And I'm starting with 11 because I like number 11. I literally just watched the series, which is the Santa Claus with Tim Allen.
Speaker: I do like the Santa Claus series. That's it. That's actually an entire movie series, Christmas series. Well, no, but the TV series, too, is good. I haven't watched the TV series yet, but I'm talking about movies. I liked all the movies. I liked all the movies with Alan in them. I thought they were. Yeah, I thought he did an excellent job. Number number number 10 is Home Alone. Sorry. I don't have a hat. So, you know, number 10.
Speaker: Is Home Alone 2 lost in New York? You know, Home Alone 2 is all right. It's not as good as the first one. I love Tim Curry. Tim Curry being in the second one. And I like the old guy that owns the store. It has its moments.
Speaker: Yeah. There's certain element. I just, I didn't think it was as good as the first plus Jesus fucking Christ. Not only is he a little psychopath, but he has the worst parents, worst parents on the planet. Right. What the fuck? $5 tip because he went to the gas station and bought two root beers.
Speaker: and brought a glass of ice because they had already swapped it out for a Coke. So I was going to say he sounded really cool when I was talking to him on the phone. Yeah, that's cool. Number nine. I like five stars. I like a really good review. I didn't leave a review, but I did get one of my stars. I'll keep a review because he was really good. So number nine is also a favorite of mine, which is a Christmas story where the kid wants a BB gun.
Speaker: It doesn't hold up. I get it. But it's also, it takes place back in the 40s. Well, yeah. Well, no. It's not the thing that it doesn't hold up. The problem with that, I'm just showing up to say, let's up and go buffalo! Let's go buffalo! My God. We were actually talking on Snapchat. Nice new sweater, man, by the way. I like that.
Speaker: What's your beef with the Christmas story? So I liked it as a kid. You know, it was one of those movies that I liked as a kid. But here's what happened. You grow up.
Speaker: cable cable okay i see what you're saying at playing it all the time because they literally play it from december well here's the thing i grew up where i grew up we didn't have we only had three fucking channels and when it was snowing we didn't have shit so we had you know vhs and shit like that but the one thing i remember from that movie is when you know he's changing the the tie he's helping his dad change the tire and he loses the nuts
Speaker: or the bolts you know and he says oh fudge and then the narrator says but i didn't say fudge i said f dash that and my sister i remember looking out the window going f dash for like three minutes before she realized and then she went oh and for the life of me i couldn't figure it out because i was like six but uh i love that movie i i showed the kid number eight is it's a wonderful life i agree with you this has been overplayed way too many times
Speaker: Um, but you know, it is what it is. Uh, and number seven, uh, it's a wonderful life. Yeah. You know, every time a bell rings, an angel gets this thing. I'm not going to, I'm not going to poo poo on, on, uh, uh, it's a wonderful life or miracle on 31st street because they are classics. Yeah. They're like for a reason. Yeah. And you know,
Speaker: I've seen them a couple of times and that's about all I needed to see them. Yeah. Agreed. The opportunity and you've never seen the movies. Uh, definitely check it out at the number seven. Number seven is national foods. Number seven is national ampoules Christmas vacation. Talked about that. Uh, number six is the holiday.
Speaker: with Jack Black and it's the Nancy Meyers movie. It's where Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet trade houses for Christmas. Never even heard of it. It's very cute. I think you would actually like it. I mean, it's not up your alley. Nobody dies. You have to understand, my top five favorite movies, Christmas movies or horror movies? Oh, there you go. Black Christmas.
Speaker: Did you did you see fucking? What silent fright or whatever the new one with John Logan was ammo and the dude from stranger things Oh, yeah, dude, that movie was awesome Now violent night or something like that and that's the one It's got a it's a brand new one and it's got the guy who played Rick flag from Suicide Squad. Oh nice The next one the number number five is falling for Christmas, which is a Netflix original
Speaker: What was it? It's a falling for Christmas. It's a Netflix Lindsay Lohan movie. The holiday date. Did you see that? That came out last year. The holiday date is Julie Roberts' niece. What's that? It's Julie Roberts' niece.
Speaker: Yeah, I haven't ever heard of her. She actually bumps into this Australian guy, actually bumps into this Australian guy, and they decide to only date during holidays so that they don't have to go to parties by themselves, like Christmas parties and shit like that, and then they put it all in love. It's corny, but it's cute. I can't say it. I never even heard of it, let alone seen it.
Speaker: The next one, number four also is called happiest season, which is a Hulu original with Kristen Stewart pass real quick. This is last year. Go ahead. If I can sneak in here, it's football related. The bills need to win out and Miami needs to lose in week 16 or 17 for Buffalo to make the playoffs. Just throwing that out there. The next one is love. Actually, I love this movie.
Speaker: Never seen that. It's it's there. Most of these you're seeing that are popping up. This is this is they are the rom coms. Love actually follows like nine stories at once. It's genius. But, you know, and this is this is as of last year and number one. Still pisses me off. It's L. With the wolf. I don't. I don't like it.
Speaker: I never, I never got the appeal. Uh, but you know, it is what it is. But like I see, I've seen elf once, but I've been, I've seen Christmas vacation so many times I can recite it word for word on Christmas vacation. I think, I think all the national lampoon movies are kind of overrated. Yeah. They're funny, obviously. And yeah, you know, if it's on, I'm not, not like if it's on, I'm watching.
Speaker: well Jeff is really feeling some sort of way about me not liking National Lampoon's Christmas vacation. Bye elf Jeff. I just I just don't think that it's uh as I just uh
Speaker: I was like, damn, Jess really is feeling all sorts of ways about me not learning. I have, I have these buttons on the side of my mouse. They're back buttons. And as I was moving my mouse, I tapped it. It's they're very sensitive.
Speaker: But because it's a gaming mouse, but whatever. Like I said, you know, it's not something that I'm not going to watch. I just don't think it's the greatest thing ever. It's not the end all be all. Like I said, there's other movies that I enjoy more than I look for. Well, Die Hard is on the list. It is it is pretty far down, though. That was the top 11. I saw another list where Die Hard is on there.
Speaker: I got to switch over to this. Yeah. So violent night is the one with John, like Wazama, the brand new movie that just came out with the guy who plays Rick flag for Joel Kinnaman. Okay. It's called silent night. And I haven't seen it yet, but I want to see it. It's actually fun to watch it.
Speaker: Uh, on Christmas Eve, a man witnesses the death of his young son when the boy gets caught in a crossfire between war and gangs recovering from a wound that cost him his voice. He soon embarks on a bloody and grueling quest to punish those responsible. Nice. Well, here's, here's a similar list according to googly. Uh, so it goes number one itself. Home alone is number two, a Christmas story, three white Christmas miracle of 34th street.
Speaker: love actually a christmas carol the it looks like the original uh how the grinch stole christmas with jim carrey nightmare before christmas the santa clause single all the way i don't know what that is the muppet christmas carol bad santa diehard clouse the holiday polar express christmas carols
Speaker: How is Jingle all the way not on there? The Arnold Schwarzenegger movie? What is Arnold Schwarzenegger? Yeah, it's on there. It's on there. I thought I said that. You said single all the way. Well, no, single all the way is on here. I don't even know what that is. It's Jingle all the way. No, this says single. Yeah, I said, how is Jingle all the way not on there? Jingle all the way was the one with Arnold Schwarzenegger. They were trying to get Turbo Man or whatever it was.
Speaker: I think this might be a typo, although it shows a picture of Tim Allen as the Santa Claus. That's so weird. There is a new Christmas movie out there that I recommend all of you guys go watch. It's a Grinch movie, and it's called The Mean One. I saw a preview or a trailer or a mini trailer. Absolutely.
Speaker: horror movie on the Grinch and it's called the Mean One and the Grinch is like this psychopath killer uh but it's all it's like a legit Grinch movie but only done in the south. He kills his presence. I'm not mad at it honestly. I don't answer. I get it. Why? Give me your name. He's letting me. There he is.
Speaker: the the the the the
Speaker: I'm done. I do. I'm tired of the goddamn disposables. So I was going to just see if I can get you a gift card. But here's the money. Go get it for your early Christmas present. There you go. And I've been wanting this thing for a couple of months for a few months. I love it, dude. I fucking miss having a. Well, I had I I'm getting a new one. She also because she was the chief. She got me a new hat.
Speaker: I love that **** hat. That's great. That's nice. My wife said it was the one now. It came in the mail yesterday and she's like, I can't wait until Christmas because you have to wear it on the show tonight and tomorrow night and I opened it. I said, I've never taken this sum **** off. Yeah, there you go. Well, actually, there's a there's a there's a group of guys. They have a TikTok
Speaker: and their TikTok account is called Only Dads. Yeah, I told her about that one. I want those hats. I want that hat. I told her I said I want one too. There you go. Now you're Santa Glick. Now I got my Santa Glick on.
Speaker: Let's go Cleveland. Let's go. You sound like a predator. I'm Santa Glick. Yeah, he does. He's got a little band full of candy and everything. I have sugary vapes. Driving around. Getting a man toasty. I got beer. Okay. I have craft beer. I got another one.
Speaker: Why did he get in the van? Maybe, I don't know what to tell you. He said he had beer. He had beer. He said he had crack beer. And it was new. See, me, if it was just beer, I'm like, I'm good. You're like, I got car parts. I'm in. Here we go. I've got three of you. Maybe. Someone said free ammo. I'd be in the back of that van so fucking quick. Yeah, that too.
Speaker: I'd be you just see the little cartoon price ammo now. It's just it'd be the dust cloud in your body shape. Exactly. Like a lady choose cartoon. Now you're looking like Wiley Coyote with a gut. And just just dip it out. Yeah. So I definitely for car parts I'd be in. Ooh.
Speaker: Yes. Are you guys, uh, are you guys ready for Christmas? You got everything all squared away. I never did decorate the house. I bought, I bought like, like $300 worth of lights. Never got around hanging. I'm not hanging tomorrow. I don't know. They're just, they're just on spools sitting in my office. And I'm like, because the one thing I forgot to buy because, because I have concrete, because I have concrete walls after buy that, you know, the little,
Speaker: I have to go buy those and I just keep forgetting every time I fucking leave the house, you know, because I don't want to get in the ass. Yeah, it's a huge hit in the ass to set up for Christmas every year. Oh, we didn't do. We didn't do shit. I put the lights all out on the porch and they're still in their little schools like Jeff has. Yeah, they're still in their schools. Oh, mine are still mine are still saran wrapped like from Home Depot because I was like, I really had a deal.
Speaker: 300 lights on a string. I was like, huh how much oh, okay. Give me four I like I've still got fucking 15 boxes in my house that I saw an unpacked Christmas Christmas gonna wait. Yeah Literally just moved in it's not that it's not the but it's depressing because we live in a
Speaker: a fairly nice neighborhood. So everyone who's been here for a while has their fucking houses lit up like Christmas trees. And we're the only, we look, we look like no one lives there. We look like we're squatters. No, you know what you do. You get, you just get a sign that has an arrow pointing the house next door that says Ditto. Ditto. I need to get that thing from how the Grinch stole Christmas that's a maid who has. Yeah.
Speaker: or the other thing you do is you get you get a You make a fake body and and have the body hanging off the the rain gutter and the lights dangling The ladder hanging off the side, you know, it's perfect actually a guy did that I think it was last year or the year before he did that and it was so convincing because he had it moving and
Speaker: like the legs were swinging back and forth the cops got called like four times some guys bought up his fucking roof after like the third time they're like yeah we know so some poor bastards probably fall and broken his leg because like wait what's the address yeah yeah we know yeah we're good
Speaker: Our neighborhood's kind of sporadic with the decorations. Of course we decorated. We did it a couple days after Thanksgiving. But it was super easy because we've got on our radios like a privacy fence. So I was able to put the lights
Speaker: right in between the, you know, we've got a big bush beside the house. So we just, you know, if you trim it, your house looks bigger. They don't make a machete big enough to trim that tree.
Speaker: Uh, and then we've got some like little, we got like a, uh, a Husky dog that you stand in the ground and he lights up and then we've got, uh, Rexie, which is our T Rex. And then we have Rudolph and they, when you talk about it, they're like the metal frames with like, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, you know, last time I went deer hunting, I took one of those home. Yeah, but they've got right up. I shot it. Rudolph snows flashing. So I was going to take like the Christmas lights that I have behind me. I know you can't do this, Jeff, but like grab the top of my gutters. However,
Speaker: Nicky told me not to put her out there yet because she wants to do an only man's photo shoot with the Christmas lights. I did have a really cool idea and the wife cobbashed it instantly as soon as I said it. We were at Costco the other day and they had this six foot Santa Claus that blows up.
Speaker: And it had tie downs on his waist. And I was like, you know, if I do the tie down coming off his waist, I could put lights coming off his dick and make it look like he's pissing off the roof of the car. And she said no. So she wouldn't let me buy it. I was like, it's been hilarious. Just just a pile of lights on the floor. And then lights coming off his dick like he's pissing would have been hilarious. There's a there's a 10 foot blow up Santa Claus on the on the corner of the street that I got to turn down every time I come to my house room.
Speaker: the the
Speaker: brain veins, wrong street. Leave that up all year round. I'm going to have to leave a personal note on their porch. Excuse me, ma 'am. I hate to say my sign. Can you put a sign that 12 foot Santa was here?
Speaker: Yeah, now who looks like a predator driver? Well, you said you didn't decorate it, you just find the house and then have lights. Connor, why do you keep going through other people's neighborhoods? I like to look at the houses. Yeah. I love the resale value. I
Speaker: I forgot what I was going to say. Good joke. Good joke, Jeff. I know. It was funny. No, I was. So I actually remembered it. So it's not even a joke. It's like, so I told you about the cat the wife stole from my sister -in -law, because I don't know why, but this cat's in my house. Dude, this thing is. You just dropped it off and left it there.
Speaker: Yeah, pretty much this fucking thing with these fucking balls on the tree. Jesus Christ. You know, you buy that big cylinder of the plastic balls for your tree and shit. I can't keep him on the fucking tree. I came down the stairs today. This fucking cat was on the top of the tree. I was like, you little asshole. And he just stared at me like, what are you going to do, fucker? I got three kids. They do the same shit.
Speaker: Except for when I hit a kid, everybody gets mad. I know, right? It's fucking ridiculous. It's all fun and games until you punch a kid, Connor. I throw the cat at the wall knowing Bats and I, but I throw my three -year -old at the wall. Everyone gets upset. Also, when you hit the neighbor's kid, that's always not a good look either.
Speaker: At least do it to your own. Send an example for the rest of the neighborhood. That's the whole reason that I asked my neighbors, hey, I can babysit whenever you want so that I can take out my anger on somebody else's kids instead of my own. If I'm going to fuck up somebody's kids, I don't want to be mine. No, the best part about watching your neighbor's kids is while they're there. Yes, it's hell. It's crazy. But you fill them up with sugar so that when you send them home, your neighbors will never ask you to babysit ever again.
Speaker: They're like, it's four o 'clock in the morning. They're still awake. Maybe all that sugar is too much. My bad. Damn, maybe that Red Bull was my name. You gave him a Red Bull? No, no, no. Red Bull is Kool -Aid, baby. That shit mixes. However, you put that W energy in that Kool -Aid. I do the neighbors a favor, though, because you load them all up with sugar, and you know the inevitable sugar crash is coming. Yeah, this is true.
Speaker: I hide it in their pockets. I put it in their pockets before they go home here. Don't tell me like 450 people don't worry about it.
Speaker: You send them home with 10 milligram edibles. When you babysat my kids the other day, because they came home and they were gone. They woke up at noon the next day.
Speaker: Little bastards So I was watching that Tulsa King and he's he's doing the deal with the Native American and he's eat that jelly He's like, you know that jelly's like got a THC and he's like wait how much? The Tom Segura one where fucking Joe
Speaker: Joe gives him the fucking edible, and he says it's a 10 milligram. Oh, how bad. Yeah. Tom Segura tells that story. What are you doing? Get in the house. Get in the house. Close the door. Close the door. No, I think I got, we got, I finished up wrapping everything today. Nikki stuff. That was the last thing I had. I have two more things in the closet, but they're the,
Speaker: big large items I had to buy bags for because I thought you were going to say the adult stuff and I was like, damn, dude. Oh no, we got the, you know, Nikki already gave me those presents early because she was like, she was like, I don't think it'd be good. Are you opening these for the kids on Christmas morning? Like, why did you get me a giant dildo? All right. That's the line. I mean, your other gift. Yeah.
Speaker: what is that i'm wearing the other one you want to see a helicopter wow dad you never had one that big i will he will tonight just remember chris mike the pillow don't scream into the
Speaker: No, I bought the kids new TVs for their rooms. Nice. So they're in the closet because I had to get bags for them to put them in because Yeah, they're not small.
Speaker: trying to put, I would literally just grab a roll of wrapping paper or one roll around, tape it, another roll around, tape it. However, we'll go side by side, length across and then width across and just roll it and tape it. This is the time of year that I'm kind of upset I don't live close because I saw something. And if we live close, Chris, and I got you a Christmas present, I would totally do this.
Speaker: I saw this dude on TikTok he every year he gives his brother -in -law a present and he's got two steel plates with 48 bolts with 38 nuts on each one and he's sitting there
Speaker: next. All of the same hole. He hands him a 10 millimeter wrench when he gets there. One year for my brother -in -law, I got him something. I can't remember what it was. This is years ago and I use duct tape. I use like two rolls of duct tape. So, you know, I put it inside like a bag or whatever and then I just just duct tape.
Speaker: This is a full three -minute video this dude put all these bolts with all these nuts on it then wrapped it and built a crate around it
Speaker: Then wrapped it with duct tape, wrapped it with that, you know, those nylon straps. He took it to his work and nylon strap the shit out of it. Then duct tape it again and then wrapped it in wrapping paper. Here you go, buddy. You'll need this. I was like, damn, I had 30 days to open it up. It's like a $5. I don't know what he got him. That was the only problem. That would be better.
Speaker: Now do you guys do you guys do we? In my family because we were big and we had you know, my you know when we were older we had you know I was usually dating somebody around Christmas time my sister and brother -in -law my other sister her boyfriend at the time You know, we that was that we did a we did did a game Where everybody go by five one dollar gifts, but one of them is a stuffed mouse and
Speaker: And if you get the stuffed mouse, you only have by four next year. So you kind of want the stuffed mouse, but everybody puts it in a pile and you go grab, you grab one thing and then go around the room and you know, so you get five and you can decide to change your gift with somebody else. But we always did it with lotto tickets. We do lotto tickets and stupid shit that we buy.
Speaker: But you could have ended up having like a $30, $40 present in there. Well, yeah, we did the white elephant one year. We did Christmas at my house. This is back when the kids' mom and I were still together before we moved to South Carolina. Cash wasn't even born yet. I think Buggy was a baby at the time.
Speaker: And, you know, we got all the, you know, gifts for the kids and everything like that. And we said, you know, for, for the adults, we did the white elephant and we set like a $30 limit, you know, whatever the, or $40 limit. I can't remember what it was. So you can actually go get something kind of nice or whatever, or go get that gifts or whatever. Everybody drew numbers, right? One through 16, however many adults there was. And that number you like reaching a hat. And if you got one, then you,
Speaker: all the presidents were wrapped, so you went up and picked them. Well, the next person could either steal your gift or go pick up another one, which is the white devil. So like, but if your gift gets stolen, then you get to pick another one. Right. Ultimately, you want to be like the last person because if you see everything, you know, you know, you know, because I think I was like real,
Speaker: close to be at last and my sister had a gift card to Hooters. And I was like, I want that gift card. And then I came up to me and I was like, Oh, Amy Jo, you know what I want? Go ahead and call it. I was like, seriously, just don't worry. I'll take you with me. No, but like we, we did the trick was in order, like, cause we would,
Speaker: We would not wrap the lotto cards to look like lotto cards. And the rule was you could only buy three lotto cards. You had to buy two other things, you know.
Speaker: or maybe it was two, two lot of cards and three other things. So the goal was to get lotto cards because then you could probably possibly win. And we, we would get styrofoam, make it look like a car, shape it, and then wrap it with the lotto card in it. Because one of the things I'm getting making, and she knows about it, I'm getting, there's that car map on your phone and it has like, and it's to help you sleep.
Speaker: stories and sounds and. OK. Music. But the stories are read by like actors. OK, like Asia's Elbow, which I think she's fucking in love with this man. She thinks he's the sexiest man alive. He's a good looking cat. Don't get me wrong. But he does. He does. I think she said that he did a reading of like Beauty and the Beast. She's like, that man could literally read me the fucking phone book and put me down.
Speaker: And it's just like Matthew McConaughey's on there and a couple and a bunch of other people. It's just three hours of Matt McConaughey going, all right, all right, all right. You can buy a Lincoln. You can buy a Lincoln. You're a little rude and you're a Lincoln. I get older. So why is he losing it? It doesn't exist. It's nothing.
Speaker: I'm going to put the Jerabishi project on the top. But no, she knows that I'm, you know, it's like 70 bucks for a year subscription. And she asked me if I would get her that for Christmas. I said, yeah, I'll just wrap up my credit card on Christmas morning and you can unwrap it. Just download.
Speaker: she said I should I should I should have went and got like a big ass box and you know wrap my card and and then you wrap your card into a small box and then you put another box inside it just like 15 boxes and you show up with this big box bigger bigger one when I give him that Christmas present oh I love doing those boxes and on the inside was a gift card to Olive Garden yeah for like five bucks
Speaker: your drinks are on me. Make it work. Look, you already knew you were getting it. Now you got to work for it. Yeah. Or I mean, you got TV boxes laying around. I'm just saying. No, but like the, the party. I did my damn credit card gets thrown away with all the fucking Christmas. Son of a bitch.
Speaker: When my sister got married, before she got married, my brother -in -law introduced us to one of his friends, Carl. Carl, great guy, just didn't have a whole lot of money. Every time we would have a gathering, Carl would be like, I'll bring the ketchup and mustard. As a joke, and every year on Christmas, Carl would show up, even though later on he started making more money, he'd give Dad ketchup and mustard every year.
Speaker: You've seen my dad laugh. His whole fucking body. And he's sitting, he's got, he's got this little round rocking chair. Dad's sitting in it and Carl's like, Dave, I got you a present. Yeah. Just laugh for like 20 minutes. Funniest fucking thing I've ever seen. But he at least bought the good mustard and get them. He buy Heinz. Yeah. That's one of those jokes that just never get old.
Speaker: Every year for like five years, man, as funny as fuck.
Speaker: your dad's reaction. Cause like, you know, I remember, you know, a couple of times that I met your parents, dad was dad's biggest round as he is tall. He's not much taller than me. He's like that big jolly whole full, like you said, full body laugh. And his head kicks back like a nutcracker.
Speaker: They used to call him Popeye at work. I don't know if you ever see my dad's forearms with his forearms or the big on my leg because he's a plumber. He's been working on pipe wrenches his whole life. And we used to, they used to pick on him at work that he just jerked off a lot. I'm like, Hey, life goals, baby. I mean, that may explain a lot.
Speaker: I can still every once in a while think about it. I can just see dad going Yes, where they belong my wife had me bring my drill I
Speaker: Yeah, you can't not do it. Are you a man if you don't? No, I can't do that. It's one of the slide ones. Same difference. You gotta tap it and make sure it works. Ooh, I like the light.
Speaker: Yeah, God, man, I'm so glad they started putting lights on drills, either fault that I have at work. Man, that motherfucker is like four billion lumens or whatever. I can walk into a dark room and he just hears my drill for life. What are in here? There's squatters in there every five seconds. He just hears, beep.
Speaker: What the fuck is that noise? No, you know what? I found out the other day. They call me down in the airport every once in a while on fog unites. Couldn't get a hold of Rudolph. Can you come help? I found out something the other day. Speaking of tools, I found out something the other day. Milwaukee and Ryobi are made in the same fucking factory. Milwaukee and Ryobi?
Speaker: Yeah, they're really the lines, the the assembly line go right next to each other. So they're basically you you're getting Milwaukee if you buy a Ryobi. No more Milwaukee for me back to DeWaltz. Hey, I love them. I always do. I do like Ryobi, man. I bought everything. That's the one thing about them. They have everything. I bought this fucking bad ass battery powered Ryobi Dremel kit.
Speaker: The battery slides out of the bottom of it. You plug it into your cell phone charger. Man, it's fun. Well, I had one and one of the guys I worked with stole it. I'm like, oh, that was a cheap ass Dremel tool. So I went back and I got this because I mentioned it to one of my supervisors and he was like, just go get you a good, like a real good one and just keep it in your car with the rest of your tools.
Speaker: And I'm like, yeah, I should have done that with that last kid. I was like, but I had it in my mechanical space with my other stuff. He was like, yeah, he said, we've got guys here that just have to keep their fingers off of shit. So he was one that actually, because I told him, I said, well, what do you recommend? And he showed me his and he was like, I'm getting one of these. And it's really not that expensive at all. Honestly, it was like 30. Well, that's cheap. I mean, you look at the DeWaltz or the Dremel Dremels, you know,
Speaker: the the the
Speaker: you will you it's tool porn it's literally just tool porn because he doesn't he doesn't do any no he literally while he's building something he just puts the camera here so that you can see what he's doing and then he'll talk while he's doing it and he'll walk away while grabbing something and it's just like oh i want that tool he just i i want three hours in his shop
Speaker: with free rein to just grab what I want and leave. Three hours. If that, oh, dude, you can do it less because his his shop is not that big. It's like the size of my office. It's like the world's smallest shop. But he's he's so efficient with the way he does stuff and he's constantly upgrading. He did he did an episode the other day that I was watching where he literally made a soldering iron
Speaker: kit where like, you know, he had a battery powered soldery iron and then had a holder where he could move the entire set around and then hanging on his side of his toolbox. And it was just that was that's what he did for the entire episode. He just built this kit. And he's shown how he how he set it up. So he does this thing. It's called first out. Like the first thing you grab is the easiest thing to get.
Speaker: We are. We're not going to be here. We're not going to be here Monday. We'll be here Wednesday, but we won't be here next weekend or next month. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Next Saturday. Actually, today is Saturday. Yeah. So Monday won't be here. We'll be back Wednesday. Then we won't be here next Saturday. And I won't be doing a music show next Friday. And then we'll be back on. When we finally sobered up.
Speaker: I don't know how much I'm going to drink on New Year's Eve to be honest with you. I don't think I will. Yeah, get up, man. I gotta, you know, some people, some people will be watching their college football team on New Year's Day. Other people, other people.
Speaker: We'll be watching their college football team on New Year's day. However, they will be watching whatever's left for their football team on the 29th. I'm not mentioning any names, but it rhymes. My science has just been killed me lately. It rhymes with schmoseio state suck ass. Go in the house or hurt you.
Speaker: Was that loud For no reason for no reason he decides he's gonna come out here and Play it's dark. It's not the warmest out here. It's only 75 out and
Speaker: person does that shit all the time god love him you know he just he loves being outside i'm like dude it's it's 8 30 you're supposed to be in bed five minutes from now yeah what the fuck are you doing you ever cuss at your kid you know you're not supposed to but like you can't you can't fucking help it
Speaker: I heard a loud smack in their bedroom. I was like, what is going on? And Carson, my eldest goes, Bryson just threw that like big ass Lego toy at the fan. I was like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Speaker: I was like, I mean, what are you thinking? Yeah, you can't unring that bell, dude. You can't unring that well. You can't get it back in the food, man. So we were over here talking with a neighbor the other day. And she says, this fucking guy says somebody. And she's like, oh, my bad. I was like, please, they've heard worse.
Speaker: No, never fear. I just wish that I had like Tourette's or something that I could blame it on. Well, it's 2023. You can identify as having Tourette's. Fuck you. This is very true.
Speaker: I love you and everything that you do. You fucking suck. I blame my parents. I blame my parents. It's very simple. When I was when I was like 10, my mom said my mom looked me in the eye. She said, I hope when you have kids, they're just like you. So she cursed me. So I blame her. Yeah. That's 100 percent true.
Speaker: Every time I complain about my boys, my mom or my dad, they're like, see, that's what you get. I agree. The only one with a Christmas spirit.
Speaker: You're just not with the times, Leggy.
Speaker: I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker: I mean, why would you pay that much to have sex with a bunch of Legos? Didn't that hurt? What'd you do? Go buy two packs of Legos? Yeah, pretty much. No, I bought Kevin the Death Star. Yeah. There's my fucking Christmas spirit, Leggy. Merry Christmas. Fuck you.
Speaker: Oh, I'm dangling tinsel baby don't My wife sees a bill for those Legos Wait, why do you spend how much like what's coming tomorrow? I was checking DHL this morning right before the show going good little rod tomorrow. Perfect I Called I called the DHL box. I tell it called the DHL offices like can you bring it in a plane cardboard box and I get her I
Speaker: Oh, thank you so much. Well, you know, a little bit because I got this amazing Christmas gift from Nikki. Yeah, I didn't see that as as my man Benji said, he said, I didn't have a fucking hat. That's a guy like I got mistletoe dangling from my waistline. That's OK. It's about the biggest.
Speaker: the the
Speaker: Put tinsel over everything but the important bits. Leave the nickels exposed. Should I fill my notes with that? Leave your Peter out there. No, here's what you do for your only pens. You go get two bows, one on each nipple, and the tinsel covering all the good bits. I mean, you don't need that much tinsel, so you don't. Yeah. And then lay down, lay down on a rug, all burnt riddles and shit.
Speaker: ladies. You want me to fill my boots full of Vaseline too like Burt Reynolds. Tinselkilt. There you go. Hashtag Tinselkilt. Hashtag Tinselkilt. Twig and berries underneath there. I wonder if I can try that to get laid today.
Speaker: Maybe guess what I'm wearing? Wrap wrap lights around your dick and then sorry, honey. I can't make it to the bedroom. We're going to have to do it right here. I wanted to get the kit that you can buy and I wanted to decorate my beard for tonight, but.
Speaker: I forgot about it. Didn't have time to get all those kids. Yeah. Like Christmas, Christmas balls, like the ornamental balls. And then they've also made lights that you can put in your beard. Well, they also have they also have like a it's a it's a glitter that you put a temporary glue in your beard and glitter on it. Yeah, I wasn't going to do it. I don't want fucking stripper dust all over my house for the next 20 years. Honestly, I might have to do that. Christmas with my family.
Speaker: But everybody's been giving me shit for growing a beard out after I got out. Bobbles not balls. Christmas balls, ornament balls. Chris likes balls on his face. They're balls. I've heard Bobbles. It's a it's a it's a British thing. It's a European thing. She's not British. She's in the UK. That's technically British. Oh, yeah, I'll start that fight. Jesus Christ.
Speaker: All right. Well, I'm going to go get a beer on that. You know, that that is a that is a that is a that is the UK term. You want to see if you can borrow Steven's double from last Saturday? No, it's a UK thing. The one thing I've learned from, you know, the one thing you learn about being here is you get it's like you can have friends from around the world that all live in the same fucking town.
Speaker: Because we got Germans that live here. We got British that live here. We got everybody's here. It was like that in Charleston. You're in a transplant city. You're in a transplant and a tourist city. So we had a lot of people from all over the world that lived in Charleston and stuff like that. My head was starting to sweat. That fucking hat is hot, bro. There you go. I called it. And technically British unfortunately. That's what it says on my passport.
Speaker: I don't mean you're fucking right, Jeff. I'm always right. You just refuse to accept it. Did you fall and bump your head? I know the countries of the world. I may not be able to name them all, but I know what their regions are. Yeah. But yes, yeah, her British passport is red and it says British.
Speaker: But they're not the Americans who bitch slapped the English and said, get the fuck off. Let's be honest, the Scottish couldn't do it. We did it with a bunch of farmers and immigrants, which is basically Scotland. Am I right? Yeah, but there were a lot more of us than there were of Scottish back then.
Speaker: and technically she's Scottish, however. Yeah.
Speaker: It also, it also helped with that big pond in the middle. It's just a puddle. It's not that big. Aren't you quite a few countries that are still, and I'm asking this because I don't know and I don't want to make assumptions, but aren't you in a British rule? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That are still like, I believe so. Just keep digging. What? It's not my fault that America is awesome and no other country is as cool as we are.
Speaker: There you go. We have references when it comes to war. Undefeated, baby. We got so tired of everybody else's ass that we kicked our own ass. So Antigua, Barbados, Australia, Bahamas, Belize, Canada.
Speaker: Uh, Jamaica, New Zealand, Papua New Guinea. Canada's under English rule. Yeah, Canada's under English rule. That's why they have the Queen on the, well, they had the Queen on the, on their coins. Yeah, I thought there was a good show. St. Lucious, St. Vincent, the Bernardas, uh, the Solomonons. There's your fucking Christmas spirit. Okay. You're gonna steal that from your sleeping kid, you bastard.
Speaker: Yeah, I need it for the show. You went back to sleep after I need him. Put it there and dropped an elbow on him. Hey, Simon. Hey, Simon. How are you? Yeah, he needs this for a podcast. Give me a snowman. I'm good at cuddling. Fuck you, you little bastard. Sorry, I love you. I have threats. That identifies as having threats. Fuck you.
Speaker: Oh, he looks just like you, Connor. He says like... I've only got two nipples. And they're side to side, not up and down. So I haven't got a Christmas shirt on and everything. Good for you. Nobody gives a fuck. I don't own a Christmas shirt. I mean, when I've been in... I had a Christmas shirt on yesterday, too. It was my Christmas moose shirt. Moose. Moose out first, and I told you the park's closed asshole.
Speaker: I don't think I own a Christmas shirt. Think about it. I've had these shirts forever and I only get to wear them like once a year or so. I think she went take a little quick with the keyboard. Yeah.
Speaker: Hey, if she does, and she is, it is well -deserved, God damn it. Yeah, there you go. If she decides to tie one off and just get fucking obliterated one. Yeah, weird. If she's getting trashed and watching this podcast, you know what? Thank you. I appreciate that we can be a part of that. When I go hang out with Leggy, that's what we're going to do. We're going to tie one on, get weird.
Speaker: for no reason. I'm just like in the cleanest way possible. Jesus, get your mind out of the fucking gutter. That could go a little way. I'm going to carry me around like a baby. I'm going to get drunk like they can carry me.
Speaker: I will feed into those rumors on this show. Did you know when Jeff went and seen lady that they had a three way with the Loch Ness Monster?
Speaker: it was awesome that's the new nickname yeah i'll be like yoda i'll be like yoda go to the next bar you must go
Speaker: No, something. Scotland and him and like you were hanging out that I just leave it and don't believe it. And then just drop your camera. So, so Jeff and like you weren't. He just went away. I don't know what happened.
Speaker: She was prepared. Jeff was raving about how Volvo's are awesome now.
Speaker: with a five point harness. Hey, hey, now that's a scene.
Speaker: It said Kiko on the side. It's a racing seat, damn it. It's racing. It's for kids, liven up. Shut up. It's got planes. It's got planes. You can pretend to drive and be a big boy. Gabe has his own horn. That's exactly what it is.
Speaker: There you go. Jesus.
Speaker: This is actually so quickly I need to buy in a Volvo Probably the worst thing that would honestly happen if you do go Hey, y 'all said you we've got about the show. It's like bro. I just bought two vocals However, the only Volvo or it ever buys the the one that the one that's got the little the little hatchback one is
Speaker: that they used in the first Twilight movie? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That thing's cool. Like, of all the rumors, that's the worst thing that happened at all. And I'll actually buy a nice Volvo. Jeff bought a Volvo. He put, he had the V40, yeah. You know Jeff bought Volvo stock? Yeah, he pulled that one right up, right out of there. She knew it. Those things are cool.
Speaker: Jeff went to see Leggy and he bought a goddamn Volvo. And he bought Volvo stock. Now he won't stop talking about Volvo's. These are great, man. They're peppy little fuckers. Rumors. He's talking about Braveheart though. It's really irritating. Got a thing for potatoes. I tell you what, chef.
Speaker: The city where she where she lives at Edinburgh, man is gorgeous Edinburgh, very pretty. She's done some Instagram videos that I've been in lately. That is a very pretty city in the dam. And I'm such a fucking nerd. When it comes to architectural
Speaker: man. Oh, man. She was live. One time she was live and she was like, check this out. And she showed me like the, the, the, I think it was the university or something like that. Super old fucking Jesus Christ. That's great. Super old building, right? And then right across the street was like this brand new, like fancy, weird, architecturally designed. And I'm like, yeah, one of these things don't belong.
Speaker: Yeah, no, because because my tiktok, my tiktok, I see I saw of a small town in Switzerland a day and I was like, oh, fuck, I want to go there. You're welcome. We're fucking hilarious, guys. Yeah, see, you know, would you do without that in the wind column? Whiteboard behind us.
Speaker: Yes. Well, I like you laugh. Things and people and places that I'm going to fight. Hey, Brian. Yes, just the guy who said forty seven videos about meat in our group chat. Hey, hey, you watch your fucking mouth.
Speaker: Hey, if you can't get an orgasm, at least you can get a giggle.
Speaker: the the
Speaker: So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so,
Speaker: Oh, girl. What did you do? I showed up on a Volvo. Show up on a Volvo. You showed up on a Volvo? Jeff got out. She's got that big one, that big fucking Volvo SUV. Those things are huge. They seat like nine people. I show up in that, and I look like this big, and it's like a flea on the back of a dog. I'm just going to talk in there, and you just talk Volvo to her.
Speaker: That's how to get it. It's just our name in different parts. That's me. The XC60. The XC60, that's the big fuck off SUV. See, it's like nine fucking people. And me and that would leave like, it's the exact opposite of Chris and a Mini.
Speaker: But like the the the 60s got like the little one got like the auto retract steps. Jeff gets out. I have to jump to get up that high. Looking over the edge like he's on a cliff. Oh, shit. Oh, he thought he got the biggest one. It's the one down five seater could have done the XC 90. I didn't know anything about them cars until we had a conversation about mileage.
Speaker: This is the first time I've heard of all people talk car stuff to or about I was She's trying to bring out her mileage, you know, like how many miles she got to a gallon or whatever. Oh, I froze there for a second. Yeah I would say so
Speaker: Yeah, of all the people she could ask for card, I was like, I don't know. I got Google. Let's find out. That 90 is huge. That 90 is massive. I can live. I can walk from one end to the other in about an hour and a half. That's bigger than your office. Bigger than my office. Yeah. I did the one show from the Eclipse. I have so much more room.
Speaker: Jeff will get over there and lift the V40. Don't bet on it. Those Volvo's are made out of fucking fucking titanium. Get a Fiat, fuck that. Don't you have a fucking Fiat? I almost bought one. You were bragging about it for a long time. Yeah, the Fiat pandas, man. Those Fiat pandas are four wheel drive.
Speaker: You can pick it up. The Fiat Panda is a 4x4 little bitty fucking thing. You could put it in your pocket. He's done. They're cool. Well, have you seen those Suzuki Jimmys?
Speaker: They look like a mix between a Jeep Wrangler and a Mercedes G -Wagon. I fucking hate the G -Wagon. They're like this big, dude. Yeah, James May loves some things. It's awesome. James May, what the hell is a Fiat? Who is James May? Look up, James May is Captain Slow. He's one of the three of top gear. No.
Speaker: No, no, no I'm gonna yell at some kids Are you looking at the new one? They're dope dude, they will fucking shit and get
Speaker: I feel like I could see that driving down the road and just be like, get out of here. Yeah, exactly. Well, look up the Suzuki Jimmy. They got a new one. It's a four door. What happened? I hit a mailbox. Hit a leaf. It looks like a Range Rover. Yeah, but it's literally, you could not get in it. You'd get your big.
Speaker: Yeah, it looks like a micro machine Range Rover. Yeah. It's fucking gay. Apparently, they're one of the best off road vehicles ever, like the way the the way the the transfer case works. Huh?
Speaker: Uh, yeah, dude, it's like, remember, what was his name? They had the Su Sufi samurai back in high school. And we did that thing all the time. And if it got stuck, you could literally, I could just walk over and pick it up out of the mud. Exactly. And I don't know how many times we rolled that son of a bitch. You just, you'd see that line through the field at 50 miles an hour. And then the next thing you know, it was doing 175 rolls just through the field and everything would still run.
Speaker: I want to buy them. I could buy a damn golf cart. It's not that hard. Like you said, she had a Suzuki wagon R1s. Oh man. True story. True story. Facts. Like a geo truck. It looks like you're keeping it 100. I want one. They're only like 20 grand. I'd give them $20.
Speaker: Because at the end of the day, they're still says, okay. Let's take ourselves a real quick break a break. Now, before it is, there it is.
Speaker: that that's it's ugly, but I think that the other one
Speaker: and it's basically like a drag motor and in a range over and it's dope as fuck. I would totally rock that thing. It's just like he never even puts it in. He just puts it in gear. That thing's insane. If I can't run it through to 200 ,000, then I don't want that car.
Speaker: Well, those Suzuki Jimmy's, supposedly they're, they're good for like 400 ,000 miles. Yes. But I would also have the thing leaning to the left when I sat down into it. This is true. So it's not for you. It's for somebody like me. If you put me, if you put me, if you put me in a suburban, it looks like a flea riding a donkey.
Speaker: Actually, I wanna have the money for Escalade. I do too. Once again. When I first came back to Ohio Land Rover Discovery, actually I've seen those Land Rover Discoveries. There's a few people that drive them tenants in my. I don't like the back end of them. I think they look weird.
Speaker: Are Suzuki's even sold in the States? I don't know. The Jimmy is not certain ones, but yet that one is not. When I, when I first went back to Ohio and when I was going back and forth between here and South Carolina, getting everything situated and getting the kids in school and all that jazz and that goofy ass fucking Canadian hit my car. Well, my car went into the shop because his insurance company pissed off my insurance company. I basically got a rental car and had no limit on it.
Speaker: And they had a brand new suburban sitting there. And I was like, I tell you what, I've always liked the suburban's, but after driving one, I was I want one so bad. But I know I don't want to. You look you look at it and it uses four gallons of gas. But I do. That thing was, dude, it's as big as a tank, but it rides like a fucking Cadillac. You were like, oh, yeah.
Speaker: the the
Speaker: the one that I was renting while my car was in the shop was jet black and had tinted windows. So it looked like a government SUV. Yeah. So I felt like I was like, the kids were like, dad, you got, you got one of them cars from, from, uh, criminal minds. I was like, yeah, I'm the president. Do you know why I pulled you over today? Because I haven't called your boss yet. The little Japanese cars are reliable. They're decent. Yeah. I just,
Speaker: I mean, Toyota's the last half million miles. Yeah. And whatnot, the Toyota's man. Toyota's not Japanese. It's a, is it? Yeah. Is it? When I, when I, when I worked at Orkin, I was never a Toyota fan until I started working at Orkin. And that's what we had. That's all of our trucks. And when I got my brand new one, man alive, man, it was, it was a Toyota that was damn near as big as a Tundra. Yeah.
Speaker: The new Tacoma's are nice too. They're comfortable, it rides nice, and yeah, you can't fucking kill them. I just can't afford a Toyota. That's the problem. The price, even the used ones are insanely expensive because people know you can't kill it. She said Volvo has all that too, boys. If you want that option, come on, get with the goddamn program, you assholes.
Speaker: We're all going to be, we're all going to be. I believe I think she spilled that in Scottish programa. Yeah. No, I like to, I don't like Honda's. I don't care for it. Like I said, the only Suzuki vehicle outside of a dirt bike that I've ever, you know, I owned a Suzuki dirt bike at one point, but, uh, I had that buddy or whichever I had that buddy in high school, I had that fucking sense. Wasn't it? Wasn't Vince?
Speaker: I think it was because we used to make fun of him for it. We could not kill that motherfucker. And I swear to God. You can't. It would get stuck a lot, but it would take. You could blow on it and get unstuck. Yeah. Like, seriously, we'd be out mud running and you'd look over, see him hauling ass through the field. You turn away and you look back and the motherfucker would be doing barrel rolls across the field. And he's not on it.
Speaker: Yeah, look up just look up youtube something youtube videos on how reliable the toyota engines are There are videos to do like pouring water into the oil tank. No, no I do like so top gear Go on to youtube put in top gear tries to kill a toyota. They literally put it on top of a building Demolish the building i'm talking like 25 30 stories up that fucker drove off. They put it in the ocean And all they had to do is wiggle the battery cable
Speaker: You should not they put it they put it in the beach low tide bolted it down and then high tide rolled in and you couldn't see but nothing but the top of the roof. That's love. Good break. That is wild. Bob suck sauce. Some people are those people there. They're there. They're like BMW people. They're just there's snobby.
Speaker: I've seen, I've seen some Saab cars, especially when I worked with Safelike. I was going around everybody's houses and shit and working on their cars. And they're nice. They sound great. I think they're ugly. And I think you're ugly, but that's all subjective. No, I know. But that's the thing is like, that's why I think they're very true. Jeff's right. Saab's are ugly. Connor, you're right. Jeff is ugly. Yeah. Tell me something I don't know.
Speaker: See, well, that's a great thing about Toyota. That Toyota that Brian's talking about, that thing, they have so many bolt -ons for that to make them look so cool. BMW drivers in the league all around. BMW, when you buy a BMW, you pay extra for the turn signals. That's why nobody has them. BMW drivers are in the league of their own. Yeah, it's an asshole league.
Speaker: Trust me, there are assholes over here in the States, too, like you buy them DMW. I got to get it to him. I'm kind of concerned about Brian's obsession with new owners are so clear. No, no, the van he's talking about those things, the rear wheel drive four cylinders that has the same motor as the GTR. And you can turbo ship turbo the fucking things. And you got rocket ships on vans. Is Nissan Japanese? Yes. I fucking hate Nissan.
Speaker: Sorry. These songs got a side note. There's a couple of nice songs. The Nissan's not very reliable. Every Nissan that I've had and I've had to, both of them had transmission issues within the first two years. And they were new when we got the belt. You have to pass that test to buy BMW. Yeah.
Speaker: If you turn on your turn signal once, they won't let you buy it. Yeah, notice this. Let me see if I can see what it is. It's like the driving test in the south. And then add modified. Add modified to it. Dude, they they seat 15 fucking people. Oh, my God. That is fucking horrendous.
Speaker: Dude, people modify the shit out of those in Japan, like you read about. I'm looking at pictures. Yeah, there's a whole bunch of them that are modified and this motherfucker's got it. It's got it lowered. He's got finger finger flares on it. He's got a goddamn wing on the back of it. Dude, they are kind of dope looking if it's done right. This one. Oh, my God. This one. This has got a big ass wing on the back, lowered. Oh, my God. Yeah, they're dope.
Speaker: I would totally rock that. It wouldn't be my daily. You're fucking retarded. I can't stand you, Jeff. Jeff, I'll tell you what. I will send you a LEGO car build kit with one of them little electric erector set motors and that can be your next car. That'll be your Christmas gift. No, I can't click on the link. Send the link to Chris so we can play it. We can't click on it. Not right here. Well, I mean, just.
Speaker: It won't let you copy and paste. I don't know how to copy and paste. It won't let you. Yeah, that's pretty fucking clean. It won't let you. I had no issues clicking on that link. You guys just suck. Well, that's because I'm not on Twitch. Yeah, if you're on Twitter or not on Twitch. You're on Twitch, you can. I can't. I'm on I'm on StreamYard.
Speaker: What are you talking about? Yeah, well, we have the ability to highlight. So when our mouse goes over top, it fades out. Yeah, it just must be highlighted. Oh, I'm using my phone. That's probably why. I was going to say, send it to me. So I'll just watch it and then tell you guys about it. Because I don't know.
Speaker: It's essentially a video that of that. That's a high 2023 luxury van. It's just all decked out. It's pretty it's pretty it's pretty damn nice. Dude, they're fucking dope. Yeah, I just. Why? They're cheap, too. They're like 30 grand. It's cool. I mean, it's got lots of cool features and lots of cool extras. Not for that one. But it's not for that video. No, I don't. Yeah, at the end of the day, I don't want to drive it because it looks fucking ugly on the outside.
Speaker: That's fair. It's the same reason why the wagons are done. That does all that and more. And it looks you don't like the G wagon, Connor. They're fucking hideous. It looks like a deep wrangler had a fucking brother with an extra chromosome. I cheat by choice. Exactly. I cheat by choice. Yeah, but it's a Toyota, dude.
Speaker: They use those for what they call combis here, where it's like they take out all the seats and put bench seats on the side, and they use them for like mini buses. And you don't get to have the conversation about what's manly and what's not manly. You drive a goddamn Ford F -150. Yeah, you lost that argument there, Brian. Your boyfriend likes it, doesn't he? Brian, you got a man truck that he's so safe, indeed. I like your truck, man. I love my feet.
Speaker: I like the Ford F -150. I like your pick. He had a Ford. He had a Ford. He said something about Trabajo and I got in. It might be not family. I understand that, but it was a Ford. Did you hear what they're doing with the new, you know what they're doing? The new Ford F -150s in 24. They're coming with a heated tailgate. So you have a place to keep warm while you're waiting on the tow truck.
Speaker: Don't tease me with the nipples. Are they gonna heat the ball hitch too? It comes pre -lubricated. No, I know my Equinox is not manly, but it was affordable and it's comfortable and it's nice and it's a good family card.
Speaker: the thing is with your vehicles it you are very limited in certain vehicles because you're a big dupe like like i could like the funniest thing is like you've seen that that video where uh who is it john cena and and shack get in a mini cooper that's chris getting in a mini cooper that would be hilarious me i can dance in a mini cooper
Speaker: Yeah, I gotta be honest, man. You know, and I've said it a million times. Chevy's got it locked down on comfort, man. You know, I had that Chevy cruise and a lot of people were like, how the hell do you sit in that thing? And how are you comfortable? And it was surprisingly very comfortable. You know, it was a very comfortable car to ride in. I had more than enough room. And that's why my Equinox is essentially just my cruise on steroids because it's got the same... Yeah, it's just a bigger body.
Speaker: Yeah, it's just more room, you know, for the kids. What's up? What year's the Equinox? 2021. Oh, okay. However, I've been knocked for another year, maybe two years, and then I'm going to get my Colorado baby. Yeah. Your Colorado. Hey.
Speaker: Don't mess with the ZR2. That thing's a bad motherfucker. Yeah, the Bison. The Bison's are dope. The 23 Chevy Colorado. They're going to come out with that for the Silverado. They didn't have a Bison trim for the Silverado. They mentioned doing, what was it? They were doing one. I can't remember what it was called. Back when the Raptor first came out, Chevy came out with a Silverado. It was like called the
Speaker: And they never made it. It's like a, I don't know what it's called, Black Widow or something like that. That's pretty sharp. But once cash graduates, they're the same fucking truck, Brian. It's the same truck, Brian. Calm down. Yeah. Generically made Chevy, or you can get an actual Chevy. You can get the wish version of a Chevy, or you can get a real one. Actually, the GMCs cost more.
Speaker: it's like this camera was called black widow or whatever
Speaker: I'm going to get a, as I've said it on, uh, you know, told you guys before, I'm getting a big fuck off 2 ,500 and yes, I'm putting across the back windshield, the back window. Yes. I'm compensating. I have a small, 2 ,500 four by four quad cab lifted just because look.
Speaker: I did my job. The kids are all grown. The kids graduated high school. This is my this is my prize and it will be brand new and I will drive that son of a until the wheels the wheels fall off. Yep. And what you need is a bumper sticker that says my pecker smaller than yours but you call me when you need help moving. Can I borrow your truck? Yeah. I don't know who's got a small penis.
Speaker: of the
Speaker: You buy the GMC, it basically comes with the same skid plates as the off -road version of the Colorado or the Silverado. It's basically, it's got like five more horsepower. So it's technically their performance slash off -road brand. Brian, be a man. You don't need a toilet when you go camping. Just whip your dick out and take a piss on a tree. And if you have to shit, dig a hole, shit. Lean up, lean up. Lean up against that tree.
Speaker: clean up, dig a hole, wipe your ass, and then bury it. However, however, it would be funny to see you driving down the road with that hitch, that toilet seat hitch, and be forgetting to take it off and then drive. Be funny. Because that's the shit I would do. I'd buy it just for that. Have you ever taken a shot?
Speaker: You ever go take a shit on your toilet seat itch? Forget the ball hits is still on there and then just say fuck it because I like it. Then you drive an F -150. I'm not going to shit on GMCs. I actually have seen quite a few GMC trucks that I really like. It's actually an old school square body.
Speaker: Oh, I wanted these little buy here pay here dealership dealership do this motherfucker. It's like lime green. It's meant to the bodies. Well, there's fireworks. Yeah, it's Christmas time. Oh, dude, every year. New Year's is the same fireworks. You check this. Let's give Jeff a full screen action here. It stopped.
Speaker: and I'll stop. I might do one or two more, but I doubt it. Oh, those are fireworks. That's the cartel. Yeah, those are those are traits around. Wow, though, man, a fucking toilet seat for your hitch. But you know, you ever notice, you know, you go take a shit in the toilet. You ever notice the shape of the toilet seat resembles the horseshoe?
Speaker: Were the Ohio State butterflies play? The funny thing is though, if I went camping with somebody, if I went camping with somebody and they went to sit on that toilet seat, I would drive away because I think.
Speaker: No, I think it'd be funny to just drive down the highway with someone. Whoa, whoa, if they were sitting on it, just drive. Well, it's not like you come to this. Drive away or something. Hey, you better hold the fuck up, boy. This is the longest I've ever seen. Let's say we do donuts. Or click involved in the car chat. I know stuff about stuff. I feel like, man, I talk about cars. No, you want to use the most beautiful truck ever made. I believe it's a 71.
Speaker: C 10. And the best example, the best example is a days of confused. The guy that plays rip drives it. Oh my God. That truck was gorgeous. Brian, I know you've seen it. I know Jeff seen it. I want him. I wanted this truck so bad. He's talking about the retro packages. Oh yeah. Four by four F one 50 with the roll bar. It was blue and white.
Speaker: man that thing wasn't red all over here here's the thing there are shops where you go buy a brand new truck and you take the shop and they'll make it look retro but you're gonna spend the same amount twice well you we've talked about before the guy who had the bronco like buy yeah oh that thing was gorgeous it was it was all brand new well in in the front end he he he basically took
Speaker: of the
Speaker: Yeah, but you like Volvo, that's not really cars. It's like Swedish Lego, let's be honest. Next year, Jeff's gonna be like, dude, Volvo's, man. He's gonna be like, he's gonna be the guy at Volvo's. His wagus and his seats and his barbecued. Instead of sending barbecue pictures, I sent pictures of Volvo's. I saw this one down the street.
Speaker: This one's doing a burnout. I found this one for five grand. It was featured in the fall by the way. The movie's coming out soon. Our buddy Brad, our buddy Brad has that truck. I mean, he has the same body style in a year. And I keep telling him to turn into a ball guy. Touché. Which ball boy?
Speaker: That's okay, I've got the rupees pre -chop Brian Brian and his Subaru Brian Brian now identifies as a full -on lesbian. He's talking about Subarus
Speaker: I bet he's going to start talking about mountain biking and hiking. That's right, is officially trans because he went from gay because he drove board. Now he wants to Subaru. He identifies as a woman, a lesbian woman. Do you like the STDs on the STI's? No, you guys know the Ford Focus, correct?
Speaker: Yeah, fuck that car. No, okay. They made a version. It's kind of their GT version. But you make they call the ST to you and me. Americans we go us, you know, that's cool name. Leggy, what it what it do for the Brits? What's ST stand for in Britain? stationary towel, as in
Speaker: as a period rag. So they didn't sell very well because they called it the SD. Literally everybody was like, in the States was like, Oh, that's cool. They call the SD instead of the SS or something like that. And in Britain, they were like,
Speaker: Uh, so stationary towel? No, we're out. I'm John. They killed my brand. Well, stones as well. Fuck off, go -cart driver. Who the hell is he talking to? He's going to be choking on something when he used to Edinburgh.
Speaker: leggy's balls she has bigger balls than most guys yeah i'm gonna choke on them apparently i'm gonna just show up on the podcast so i choked on leggy's balls today
Speaker: the
Speaker: I'm just going to start going to these other people's lame ass streams and be like, did you hear about like you and Jeff? It'll be, it'll go. It'll become trending hashtag Bobo's rule. Jeff's going to come back with a tattoo that says be 40. Hell yeah, baby. Hmm.
Speaker: I'll get it on my neck. I'll get it on my cheek like fucking Post Malone or some shit. The 40 baby year. I'm just getting the Volvo logo. Get a fucking tramp stamp that says leggy's ass.
Speaker: Wait, wait, wait to look up my, screw up my videos. Poor Brian's over here going, okay, so Subaru's out, Ford's out, Bulbas, look at that. Maybe I'm not so gay. Yes, yes, I will say I choked, I choked on these Bulbas.
Speaker: balls check it out.
Speaker: That'll just fuel the rumors that much harder because nobody in the States will know what baubles are like. There's just going to be a picture of Jeff going around Snapchat with the Christmas ornaments in his mouth. Hashtag worth it. Hashtag alluded.
Speaker: So like a snap story, but it's just a photo with a headline. Hashtag worth it. The steering wheel is in the background with the Volvo logo right here.
Speaker: Well, the camera will be, the photo will be out of focus because Leggy is so bright. Just be part of my place because of the blinding flash. I've never seen someone tan from the UK. Leggy is so white. She's almost, she's almost like a ghost. She's almost transparent. When she jumps on screen, we have to put on sunglasses.
Speaker: Well, you know, the cool thing, the cool thing about when she goes live, because over there it's like, you know, it's just, it's like four or five o 'clock at night. It's getting dark. She wouldn't have any lights on when she's live on Instagram. She glows. She glows in the dark.
Speaker: She's like, why do I come in here? I asked her the other day, Connor, I asked her the other day when she has sex with a dude. Does she provide the sunglasses or does he have to bring it? Do you guys have to turn the lights off because you're bright now? Can we turn the lights off? But I want to see you. Oh, you'll see me. Oh, you'll see. They can see me from space, baby.
Speaker: Every week she goes to the ophthalmologist and gets the glasses they give you to dolly your eyes. You know, when Leggy goes to the beach, ships turn because she's like...
Speaker: They're like, there's rocks ahead, captain. Let me check that real quick. If that one doesn't have the greatest trade partners anymore, thanks to a little woman. That comes back to determine that you are lying.
Speaker: If you were angelic, you wouldn't be hanging out with this group of assholes. Yeah, you've lost your wings, honey. I'm tired. You can go hang out with Ron Censical. Ron Censical reviews. She's our guardian angel.
Speaker: The only time that she's been on here and I've been on here, she was very clean. She was very nice. Everything that we talked about was good. I believe that. She's angelic. She just listens to communities. That's because I wasn't there and she wasn't telling somebody to fuck off. Someone has to save you. It's Christmas. Where's your Christmas spirit, Leggy?
Speaker: Yeah, we're gonna take a fucking break. Yeah. Chris needs a breather. This ab workout is working out for him. The only thing I'm working out is seriously a 16 ounce curl over here. I need more beer. Well, I only had two left. Somebody Walmart plus me or whatever the fuck.
Speaker: deliver me some beer. Where's Nikki at? Tell her to go get you some beer. She's asleep on the couch. She's been waking up early for work recently, so I'm not gonna wake her up. Fuck no. You're gonna see me in the obituary, son. You can, you can, you can DoorDash alcohol.
Speaker: Tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her
Speaker: I'll be right back, boys.
Speaker: Do not hit your women or your men. Domestic violence is not funny. How does a man open a beer? It's a little funny. He doesn't. It better be fucking open when he brings it. It better already be fucking open. That's right. Actually, have you seen the dude on TikTok? You've probably seen him. He's mildly famous. He's got a beer mug with a bell on it.
Speaker: his buddies that are sitting around and he starts ringing the bell and his wife comes walking in grabs his cup fills it with beer and hands it back and his buddies are like what the fuck and then they look at their wives and their lives like don't fucking look at me motherfucker see I had my kid my my oldest trained to get me a beer when I was like hey Carson I'm out of beer and he would go grab me one and uh Nikki saw me do that one time and she was like you better fucking quit she put the kabosh on that real quick didn't she
Speaker: They'll say, why? Because I swear to God, if we have company over here, they see you do that. Well, that was the thing in the 80s when we were kids, because if you did it fast enough, you got to sit. You can get a sit. Yeah, that was a reward. That's right. I'd drink it. Hashtag worth it. Bill Cole.
Speaker: Hey, I'm still drinking it, man. You know the old joke? No. I'm waiting for the old joke. What do you talk about for two black eyes? Nothing. You're a pizza holder. I just told that one. I told that one. That's what I said. When she walks into Walmart with two black eyes, aw, he told you twice, did he? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I would have put it on you, Jeffrey.
Speaker: That's what that's, that's the real story. Jeff and I are not actually divorced. He just ran away from me. Cause he got tired. I couldn't give you like literally kicking his ass and also destroying his asshole. Hey, those quarters belong to me. God damn it.
Speaker: Don't worry, that's our you are third string. Let me tell you You're just mad because you got traded Decorated my vape
Speaker: I got a full -size man now. He upgraded for the bigger version. I told his, I told his, I told his fiance the other day. She's, she's just, she's the main woman, but I'm still the side, side piece. Oh, it is. She's the side piece. He's just the main, calm down. I was there first. Into your shit joke.
Speaker: Hey, hey, hey. Be nice, Leggy. But Jeff doesn't have breasticles that big where he's going to get black eyes from him. Gosh, facts. Don't shit on people's jokes. That's rude, Leggy.
Speaker: I'll make the joke better. I'll explain it. So what do you tell Jeff with two black eyes? I don't tell him anything because he's already been told twice. That means I punched him in the face twice. Because I told him the first time.
Speaker: he didn't listen, so I punched him. And when he played him again, then I punched him again. This is how Steven explains his jokes. That boy comes on the show with a shovel.
Speaker: Because he's on the fucking money every time. That's what I learned. He's learned every year. I was trained young. Chris just learned where to hit so it doesn't show. And a cop friend told me to keep it below the neck and above the waist.
Speaker: You upgraded to the half dollar piece. That's what I just started doing. Use the phone book. Give that old snap. I got 50 cent pieces tonight. I had to ask for my beer. It's 50 cent pieces.
Speaker: No, no, no, no, no. I know. They'd be like, what? A real quick break because I do need to go get some more beer. Um, you know, if you want to buy your friends or family, uh, maybe some liquid IV, maybe you're a fan of it or some beer. If you get it here by Christmas, however,
Speaker: Well, that's not going to help us, but you can still be a good person with some liquid IV for Christmas. Why? Because we all think that we're hydrating properly, but we're really not. At the end of the day, don't cut it and there's overpriced sports drinks. Well, they're full of sugar and they, they cost way too much money. Liquid IVs covered. We got a properly hydrated shit. One sick and 16 ounces of water.
Speaker: is going to hydrate you twice as fast as water alone. It's got three times the electrolytes of those sports drinks that I just mentioned. Not only that, but it's also got five essential vitamins in it. So that's good for you. And you got 16 flavors to choose from, so you're bound to find one that's your light. Maybe check out the gold one. Don't confuse it with R. Kelly's golden shower, because that'll end you up in jail.
Speaker: Watermelon and strawberry. There's just a couple of my favorites. I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself. That was too easy. And also don't forget about your kids. Make great stocking stuffers. Uh, if you can get it here before Christmas, which probably not, but neither way, that don't matter, but you have fun flavors that the kids are going to enjoy and get them off those other drinks that are full of sugar. And if you order now, you can have it for new year's.
Speaker: Guarantee it'll be here that way that way you can drink all you want on New Year's and be fine the next morning and and a little hack for you guys It makes us great with beer In your mixed drinks in your margaritas in your cocktails in your daiquiris, whatever you mix it up You can throw your liquid ivy in there
Speaker: Yep. Okay. And hydrate all at the same time. Ladies and gentlemen, not to mention the morning after you get your glass, you mix up, you're going to be good to go and ready to party or do whatever other new year's day shenanigans that you may want to do. All you got to do is go to liquid .com. Real people, real flavor, real hydrated. Make sure you use our promo code words are hard at checkout. It's going to save you 20 % off of everything you ordered.
Speaker: when you shop better hydration today at liquidib .com. Don't forget to use our promo code, words are hard and get that 20 % discount. Since it is Christmas time, since we are doing kind of a Christmas show tonight, we're gonna do some Christmas music. I just did Christmas with the last night on Gloox House of Music, but Gloox House of Music is not the same. It's nonsensical, I know. We're gonna do Christmas music. And you can't do Christmas music without what has become the
Speaker: Christmas theme. And it's all I want for Christmas. However, it's not Mariah Carey. It's our friends. Thank Christ. It's our good friends over at our last night. Check them out on YouTube and wherever you stream music. And they added a special little twist that only Glick and his idiot friends can enjoy. There you go. We'll cover it. We'll be back here in just a few minutes.
Speaker: There is just one thing I need I don't care about the presents Underneath the Christmas tree I just want you for my own More than you could ever know Make my wish come true
Speaker: I don't want a lot for Christmas There is just one thing I need Don't care about the presents Underneath the crisper
Speaker: Stocking there upon the fireplace
Speaker: Don't ask for much this Christmas I won't even wish for snow I'm just gonna keep on waiting Underneath the mistletoe I'll make a listen, send it To the North Pole for Saint Nick I won't even stay awake to hear the magic
Speaker: Everyone is singing! Hear the sleigh bells ringing! Then won't you bring me the one I really need? Won't you please bring my baby to me? I don't wanna laugh for Christmas, this is all I'm asking for! I just wanna sing like baby!
Speaker: our last night with their cover of Mariah Carey's all I want for Christmas and let's be honest Connor you look like the day after Christmas
Speaker: Yes. Last night, you guys know some of their songs on the show before they are friends of the show. Good group of guys chit chatted with them a couple of times. That's why we play their music because they were like, yeah, do it. Check them out. Go show the guys some love. Like he said in the comments, Jeff was reading their mind. I was just thinking.
Speaker: It's not right. Welcome back to the show, everybody. Hopefully you guys are having fun. Enjoy the show. We're having fun tonight. We got our guy, Connor, hanging out with us. Elf Toasty is in the building. Elf Jeff is in the building. And don't forget.
Speaker: The elves can't be here if the fat man is in the building, hanging out, giving all the good boys and girls exactly what they need right before Christmas, some laughs, a good time, and an escape from all the bullshit and craziness that's going on. Because let's be honest, the holidays are nuts. You know, you're rushing around, you're trying to get everything ready. You got family coming in and out from out of town. Maybe you're going out of town to go see family.
Speaker: You know, God knows what a bunch of money that we're here to give you guys some fucking.
Speaker: Holly, jolly fucking happiness, I guess. So merry fucking Christmas. Yeah, I'm so happy. Welcome to NotSurgical .us. Check us out on all the social medias, Facebook, Instagram, X, formerly known as Twitter and TikTok. Don't forget, you can't hang out with us live. Get in the chatters box and shoot the shit with us every Monday, Wednesday and Saturday, 7 p .m. ish. We're doing our thing, hanging out live. And if you miss us live, you can always listen to us anytime, any place, wherever you listen to podcasts at, all at
Speaker: nonsensical nonsense podcast. I don't know what's going on out there, or you can go to bio link slash nonsensical nonsense is going to have all those links there including the links to
Speaker: Including the links to our sponsors. Don't forget to use words are hard promo codes. Save you some money. Get them discount days as the Mexicans say. Discount days on on Navi Dan. Navi Dan. If you died and you came back as a
Speaker: I believe it. She's a punk ass. That's why I don't like her. That's why she's my least favorite. That's why you're my favorite cash. I said that I'm his favorite and you're his least favorite. He called you a punk ass and said I'm his favorite. She's 18. She better watch her mouth. I'm going to fucking evict her.
Speaker: Yeah, you've got a dangly. I mean, no, no, no. Yeah, that's a bubble. Oh, oh, oh, oh, Santa click will put his Santa hat back on here for you guys for a little bit till I start sweating my ass off again. I have a broken model. I don't know why this broken baubles outside. It's literally. It looks like a well, never mind. I was going to say, is that a pokeball put half on it is now.
Speaker: Yeah. Put one on each nipple. Exactly. And you've got tape and you're all done up for the holidays. Because I do everything cool. Welcome back to the show. It is Saturday night, ladies and gentlemen. And you know what that means. It's an open door challenge. So Jeffrey, if you'd be so kind to drop that link, anybody listening to anybody hanging out, if you want to pop in and join into the conversation.
Speaker: All you got to do is click that fucking link and come hang out. There it is. Right there. Right there in the service box. You have to do it because you're a bunch of chicken shit. I heard you ain't got the wobbles. Christmas pasties. Yes. Christmas pasties. You ain't got the bobbles to do it. I just took a fucking drink, too.
Speaker: I really wish I could have got the stuff to decorate my beard. You know, I looked at that stuff. So you're going to try and find it for the New Year's when we go up and see my family. I'm going to order it the day after Christmas when it's all on sale. Then I'll have it for next year. I'll lose it. And I have to order another one. You'll find it. You'll find it right after Christmas.
Speaker: My wife will watch this show every day for the rest of her life if Barefoot sponsors us. I don't like Barefoot wine for us. It's wine. It's cheap wine, dude. Oh, don't I know it. I'm not a wine guy. I can't do wine. You know, I don't like red wines, but I'll do Riesling and Muscat. Nice tableau.
Speaker: What's what's uh, you ever seen the movie sideways Paul G Maddy Paul G Maddy and and and Thomas Hayden cook That movie sideways and the whole fucking movie Paul G Maddy talks about Pinot Noir Mm -hmm, and apparently that movie had such an effect that Pinot Noir sales and
Speaker: quadrupled that next year. There you go. I'm about to go into my, I'm about to go into my house and I grab my Christmas tree, grab all the ornaments and fuck off. Yeah, I can't, I don't really want to have a Christmas contest right now.
Speaker: No, because this is as far as I can go. Exactly. If I go up there and start grabbing order. Go grab a tree. Don't make me put you in your place. I think you will kill me. She'll be like, what the fuck are you and your idiot friend stole back there? Don't you worry about it, woman. You better shut up or I got to tell you again. Do you have to build it? What is it?
Speaker: There's almost nothing in this. I'm just drinking the drink. It's like a sideboard here. Cool. I don't know. Oh, shit. You do got to build it, bro. Wow, that's going to be. I'll get that tools out of the car. Come on here. Let's go. Show us your day. Oh, yeah. Where's your baubles involved?
Speaker: show you show me mine wait oh my god yeah you got full on build that building that shit till new year's motherfucker i'm here boy let's go i'll tell you that's good that's that's that's a nice project
Speaker: This is a thick ass instruction manual. So if you're, if you're late on Wednesday, I'll know why. The good news is that you don't have to worry about a Christmas gift next year. You still be working on that. It is literally, he was not wrong. It is 52 pages. Oh, it's got all kinds of little, it's got all kinds of random. Oh, there's a comic book inside of it.
Speaker: Oh, okay. Well, in case you want to take a time out while you're building it, you can. Well, you're on hour 35 and you're getting a little, a little weird. That way, while dad's over in the corner sobbing and drinking. Why did you guys have to rebuild this so many times? Well, dad got pissed off and he was drunk, so he threw it at the wall. Let's go catch all time. There we go. There we go.
Speaker: You got that moonlighting and everything. There you go. Yeah. Suck it, Potter. Show us your dangly balls, Glick. I mean, bubbles. Yeah. I don't have them. Don't. My Zoom doesn't go that much. If I rip my boo balls out. My boo balls.
Speaker: like Jeff is letting the side down. Let's be honest, Jeff never really cares just put it on the show. We're lucky. I'm here aren't I dammit? He's here with his two liter he's good. Yeah, it's actually it's actually a liter and a liter and three quarters. Shut the fuck up. It's a two liter fucking bottle.
Speaker: No, it's not. I got I got a three -liter now. You look ridiculous. Riduculous. Yes. I hope it shorts out. Hey, I might have one bubble, but it's bigger than both the ears. There you go. Yes, you cannot come in here. What's going on, K -mag? I don't have a hustle. Why am I not seeing? What the fuck? Cyborg hand thing. Yeah. It has it came in like nine million fucking pieces. You have to build it. OK.
Speaker: He's like, well, we can just build it tomorrow. And I was like, yeah, we'll be building it. You got the next week off, right? Oh, really? I don't have a week off. I have to work. I have to work Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I have to go back to work on Wednesday. I can work from bed.
Speaker: Nobody'll notice hey, I get a fucking paycheck with her I'd get up in the morning or I don't Well, I mean let's be honest nobody wants to see anybody's dangling balls or baubles maybe I'll just let you know you I'm into that Christmas pasties out there Jeffrey
Speaker: Oh, I'm using I'm using Christmas lights as an extension cord. Does that count? Because our extension cords hooked to the tree. Drag him off the tree. I don't go over like these real quick. Hey, I've still got the lights on the porch. Don't tempt me.
Speaker: I mean, in all honesty, because Vicki and I both agreed, it was like, because I needed to buy a new tree this year. And both of us was like, there's no sense in getting like a big six or eight foot tree is there? And it was like, she was like, Charlie Brown Christmas, it got a little four foot tree, sat it on the end table. I mean, it's still a nice tree. You don't get me wrong. See, that's the problem I have. You remember I built that L shaped bench. So so I built this L shaped bench.
Speaker: that's actually storage as well underneath the window. Now, when I want to put up the tree after the tree, it's it's two and a half feet from the window. So it feels like it's in the middle of fucking living room. Yeah. So we just. Yeah, we just got like a little four foot tree, put it up on one of the end tables and put it in between the couches and stuff because we don't really have a whole lot of room in the living room because my fucking right. You know, I have a 75 inch TV, which takes up one whole fucking wall. Yeah.
Speaker: Um, and then I've got, you know, my couch and love seat. And then I've also got that giant record player from 1971 that takes up another wall. You know, well, I, I was tempted to just take, cause I have, I have a six foot true artificial tree. And I told the wife, I said, you know, I can just leave the top off this fucker and build it a little stand out of fucking two by fours and set it right here in a corner. Nobody was like, no, we gotta have the whole tree off.
Speaker: Well, the reason we got the four foot tree is like mainly because, um, you know, like our lease just ended here. So, and I didn't sign another one year lease. I just did. I'm just doing month to month because in the spring we want to move and we're hoping to get out, whether we rent a house or try to buy a house in the spring, whatever the case may be. Um, and she's on the same page as I, I prefer a real tree every year. I do not.
Speaker: I like the way they look. I love that they make your house smell the way they make your house smell. You know, I like taking the kids and going to, you know, we don't, we don't drive out to the fucking, I was going to say, do you fucking national lampoons it go and dig up the roots, throw it on the top of the traverse and try it back. We don't drive out to a national forest and cut one down, but we go to like the
Speaker: the tree plays and pick out a tree. And what do they charge you for a real tree? I've never bought a real tree. It depends. They vary. It depends on the size. You know, they can range from twenty five dollars up to like two hundred and fifty dollars. I grew up in a pine field. We'll just cut down a fucking tree. Dude, it is stupid. The amount of money that people pay for some of these trees. Oh, it's ridiculous.
Speaker: $150 for my tree and it's, it's, it's fucking pre -lit and it's got all the crap on it. It'll last me for two decades. Yeah. I think we bought an artificial tree. That was like 30 bucks. I think, I think I bought one. I bought, I bought four years ago. Hashtag fuck the trees. I don't need oxygen. Actually trees only give like 30 % of the oxygen. Most of it's from like shit from the ocean, right?
Speaker: Yeah, most of it's from the ocean, believe it or not. I don't know you were going to come up with that stupid fucking fact. Because I watch QI, motherfucker. You Navy queer. I mean, you. I can't say that. I'm sorry. Yeah, you can't.
Speaker: You know, I'd like to make fun of Connor because, you know, he was in the chair force. However, his dumb ass, his dumb ass did his time and retired, was like, you know what, I want to go and re -enlisten the army. This sounds like a great idea. Yeah, out of the three of us here, Connor, I think you're the dumbest. I'm the dumbest that's going off the gayest. That's his volumes. Consider you some of the stuff I did.
Speaker: I remembered my mind. By the way, I've determined a new, you know, I'm buying a new vehicle when we get to Europe and I'm buying a hybrid. It burns gasoline and rubber. Because I found a beautiful Buick Regal.
Speaker: About a beautiful Buick Regal with a 427 in it. So it's funny. All right. Holy worth it. Beautiful Buick Regal. Hey, what are the nursing homes like down there in Mexico, man? They're not great. They're not great.
Speaker: right now. I believe that joke was a was a. My car identifies as a hybrid. I'm trying him Kevin Holly. It's Jeff Stone right now. I don't know. He might be never know what's in these.
Speaker: I wish I was. Holy shit. I still need to go get my stash for my mother. I don't I don't I don't like being stone at all. I feel like you may have bumped his head earlier. So wait at birth. It's permanent brain damage. Please shine a third time. No, I'm trying to try it again. Come on, Kevin.
Speaker: Fucking Holly. Shall I explain it to you? Yeah, you're like Steven. You're like Steven Holly here. If it don't work the first 17 times, I'll try it an 18th time and I'll explain it. Yeah, see, yeah, my brain stuck on Volvo time. And all that fucked him up. Way to go, like you Scott fucked it up. Uh -huh. So I can't talk cars no more.
Speaker: Thank God. Never had that. Well, if you can't talk cars, what can he talk on the show? Movies. Facts. Yeah, I got it. Talk movies. Sneaky of which? Holy shit. There is a new show on Netflix called... Is it Bombarded? I was talking about it the other week. It's got... Generally, when you start talking about movies and television, I just kind of blank out. Yeah, I know.
Speaker: No, it's it's you need to check it out. It's fucking awesome. Well, it's going to take you. Oh, yeah. The Special Forces guys who go. Yeah. Thomas Allen sits on there or whatever. Yeah. Thomas Hall is so fucking funny in that movie. What's it?
Speaker: Man, look at us. We are the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nut house. Happy Christmas. Happy Christmas. Happy Christmas, Harry. Santa slimes his fat ass down that chimney. He's going to find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nut house. Holy shit. Where's the time at all? I'm telling you, that movie, I love that movie so much. I love Uncle Eddie, man.
Speaker: That's the greatest part of the National Lampoon movies. Uncle Eddie. I wanna dress up as Uncle Eddie one year for Christmas. I'm gonna dress up next Christmas on the show. I'm gonna dress up as Uncle Eddie. There you go. It's a bathrobe and one of them. In the news that an airline pilot spotted Santa's sled on its way in from New York.
Speaker: You serious, Clark? You serious, Clark? The lipid, the lipid, he shoots him. He's just like, dude, what the fuck?
Speaker: Well, there's a there's a there's a guy I saw video on TikTok. He decorated. He decorated his entire house. He got the Winnebago. He's got Clark's car with the tree on it. He's got different spots set up where it's got little factoids. He's even got Margo and the chick from Seinfeld and her husband.
Speaker: Screaming about why the floor of the carpet's wet. She's like well, why is the carpet wet Todd? He's even got a giant ball of by don't ball light saying oh there's a little knot here you need to go and work that out Just once I told my wife when I went bought all the Christmas lights that I bought my wife's like what are you doing? I said, oh, I'm gonna National Lampoon's a shit out of this. Oh
Speaker: And she's like, no, you're not. All four schools are still sitting off. My buddy, Kevin, him and his wife, you know, they, they live up the road. They, it was like a little community. All the neighbors are kind of close. They all know each other and whatnot. And they just, they like have this competition that the neighbor has no idea that he's in with them. Like every year, if he had something, they had 10, they had 10 times. Yeah.
Speaker: And as I said, I think it was last year I pulled up there for something. I was like, hey, Clark, what a fucking calm down with the lights. Well, I mean, I mean, I got I got to I got to I got to beat him. And I'm like, does he even know that he's in this competition or it's just probably not. He's like, no, it's just me. Well, no, the one cool thing I did see, have you seen the the talking lights?
Speaker: You get this company come out and they set up your house and they set it up to a switchboard where your house will sing. Well, there's an engineer who does it. He does it to his house. No, there's a company. He owns a company. And you pay him and he comes out. Yeah.
Speaker: He started a trend. Now there's a company that does it, but this guy does his house. He does it for Halloween. He does it for Christmas, everything. And he's like super popular on the internet because like they've got, he's got his Christmas lights singing Biggie, Notorious B .I .G. There's that video.
Speaker: where the pizza guy called and he was like, Hey, this is a Joe from Donato's and I got your pizza. Well, there seems to be a discovery. I've run a little bit late. He's like, Oh shit. They're shooting at me. Oh, that's how it's gonna be. Let me get under my seat. There's a, there's a program that you, if you go buy a projector, just a regular projector and you set it up so that it shines your whole house, you can use this program to draw on your laptop.
Speaker: and it will, you can outline your house, and then your house will play these different scenes. And I looked into it, it's like $3 ,000 plus the projector. I was like, you know what, I'm good. He said the fucking lights sound like a bad talking heads tribute band. Yeah. No, but some of them are like really cool. What you talking about, Willis? Yeah, what you talking about, Willis? We got fucking Gary Coleman from the grave. It's a Christmas miracle.
Speaker: Hey, I'll take Gary Coleman back. You guys can have Justin Bieber. Yeah, I got wheels. You've confused truck with cock giveaway. Give it away all. Yeah, I got a hot wheel truck. Whoever holds on to it long enough. You gotta pay for shipping. Yeah, probably. Jimmy Stockton truck.
Speaker: nothing better than some redneck selling tacos. Hey, you know, he's in between making taco. He's banging his sister, his aunt, sister, roll tide, roll tide, baby. Every time somebody goes one side, somebody's going to freak out. They get, they get a free hot sauce on their taco roll tide. Somebody knocks their sister up in Alabama.
Speaker: What was it? Fucking Kreischer's wife said, somebody's pregnant. They're camping and they hear a gunshot. She's like, well, somebody's pregnant. Then his daughter, a second shot goes off, a sexual shot goes off, and his daughter goes, well, we know it's not a suicide.
Speaker: Give him the old special sauce, huh? Yeah, buddy. He knows. As three dads. I'm so thankful that you don't have to worry about that special sauce causing any more. I'm seriously getting snipped. I'm actually, what's cost up there?
Speaker: What's what? Free for the VA. That's free here, period. I don't know how much it cost for it. All I know is I ain't having no more goddamn kids. That baby factory, that baby factory has been gutted. I don't got to worry about it. I'm way too much. As I've said, I'm good. But I ain't that good.
Speaker: I've got all the it would be it would be impressive as fuck if you got Nicki pregnant. I'm just saying I mean, that's a bigger day to raid and everything. Considering she's got all the essential parts, you know that exactly, you know, they're not there anymore. They've been removed out and stomped out and everything. As I said, I'm good. I can't I can't I'm not fucking Jesus. We're not rebuilding parts anyway.
Speaker: there's a there's a commercial you ever seen those band commercials uh band band as in not allowed to play on tv anymore oh
Speaker: Oh, there's one, there's this one where there's, there's a bunch of kids running around and his wife walks in and he's sitting in a chair and she's like, I think I'm pregnant. He just leans forward and punch. That's how I'm going to do. I'm just like, I think I'm pregnant. Not anymore. And then he goes back. God damn it. I wish we had a two story house. Yeah. If Dickie was to go, Hey, I think I'm pregnant. There's going to be a couple of conversations that are going to be had.
Speaker: And the first one was going to be with her doctor. I was going to say, hey, Doc, what the fuck? Because I think she's going to be on the phone quicker than I am. Because neither one of us want babies of our own.
Speaker: I mean, we want babies and we want somebody else to have babies. But the beauty of somebody else's babies, you can hand them back. Okay. I'm getting annoyed. The beauty of your babies is you can give them away. If you're going to wiener bomb us, you better Christmas wiener bomb us. Yeah. Don't forget to dangle your balls or your bottles. What baby? What?
Speaker: I think if my wife came down and says I'm pregnant, I'm gonna jump off the fucking roof Okay
Speaker: Just grab a coat of anger. Here, go take care of that. Do you think we could flush it out? Just grab the shot back.
Speaker: Don't move. This will only take a minute. No, like I said, there would be a phone call being made and I and Nicki would be dialing the pressure and I could do a doctor. Hey, we got a serious fucking problem here, Doc. Yeah. Hey, Doc, guess who's getting something in there? None of them coal and they're stocking. This is also very true. Hey, Doc. He said, I'm not getting pregnant. This is also very true because as we all know, I have super swimmers.
Speaker: I don't know what it is, man. I put that on my fucking taco. I saw a movie once where
Speaker: When this woman sprays pepper spray in this guy's face, he's like, please, I put this on my tacos. That's that's what Chris's firm does. I sprinkle this on my tacos. Come on. I'm the birth control bay. Plan B, please.
Speaker: Maybe they are. I don't know. They are very good at sneaking across the border. Let's just say. They're really good at hide and seek. That's their second start of the night, by the way. Yeah, that's a start. Yeah, they are very good at sneaking across the border. Let's just say. They drive a Volvo, though. The Volvo's apparently are great in the snow. I'm just saying.
Speaker: Oh, fucking bovos. No, I agree. Trust me. We're on the same page. There is no disagreement here at all, baby. She said no fucking Christmas bacon. I'm praying for a Christmas miracle right now. Any pussy you were going to get, there's going to be a cool couple and a flight book to Cancun because I'm kicking your ass.
Speaker: You're Santa Claus One wish this year We're about to make your sandwich I put his foot in your balls in between So hard you fucking nuts in your throat
Speaker: Yeah. That reminds me. I gotta write my letter to Santa. Santa. No, no. We've we've had the conversation. Trust me. There's no more babies that we're making but you know, we we it's weird. They have 42 and 43 and we're already talking about being grandparents but her kids are also her boys are twenty -four and twenty -two and I was like, hey, this is the option are the boys. It's right around the world. Right around the right around the bend. I said, uh,
Speaker: Yes, I did. I also just turned 18. You know, Buggy's 14 and Cash is 10. If Cash comes home and he's like, hey, dad. You better give that kid a fucking high five. Dad, I have to tell you something. My teacher's pregnant. Cool. Congrats. I will tell her I said congratulations. No, dad. You're not listening. You heard about that kid last year that, you know, you died from having sex with his teacher.
Speaker: What? He died because all his buddies gave him so many high fives. What if I can get him to take this with these Christmas lights around me? Here's my question. The first time your boy gets laid, what is the appropriate response when you find out? Good game. Is it the high five? It's not a good game. Good game. It's that simple.
Speaker: But I don't think you understand the good game thing because that's after you have sex with somebody. So are you saying you just slept with your boy? Roll tide buddy, but okay. My point is, you know, like when my dad found out, when my dad found out I lost my virginity, he was like, yeah, your mother wants us to have a talk. And we went out behind the
Speaker: he's like, don't tell your mother I gave you this but I think that if if if one of my kids comes up to me and I mean, they're fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, but the only thing I'm gonna say is, did you wrap up your marshmallow? I was fourteen. Shut up. God damn. Yeah. Jesus. I was gonna I was gonna **** Nikki's
Speaker: shut up weirdo what are you doing masturbating leave me alone in the house put him back why am i a weirdo oh yeah he's definitely a weirdo you don't tell me the only thing i have to say to him is did you wrap it
Speaker: about what and that was not that was actually not brought up when when my dad and I had to discuss that's the only that's the only thing I would have to say is did you wrap it okay congratulations like I don't know what else to tell you kid I think you're gonna have a lot more sex throughout your lifetime whether it was one woman or a lot of women well if if one thing I I plan to tell my my son when he's old enough that when he's about to have sex connection somebody that's actually kind of cool
Speaker: Yeah. Because Chris knows my ex. No means no. No means no. Getting kind of rapey over there, Chris. Maybe. No means no. So Chris, same question goes to you. If Cash comes home and says, dad, I got laid, what's your first response? He's 10. I was just saying, he's 10. I'm not 10 tomorrow. He's missed.
Speaker: My kid's six, okay. I assume that he meant in the future. Exactly. I don't know. Is it a high five moment or let's go have a beer? I mean, I don't know. Cause it's not like, you know, I came out of the bedroom and was like, dad, I just got laid. Well, I, I got laid on a school bus my first time. Jesus Christ. It was at the track meet. It was at the track meet.
Speaker: It was the bus driver. I feel like that's a terrible place to have your first talk. It was the bus driver. His name was Frank. Was that a track meet with the chick from school? Yeah, I was. I was. Everybody's all paying attention. We would. So did you rush home and tell your dad, dad, I fucked this bitch on the school? No, you know, here's what here's what happened is is is she hold some friends and actually know that the administration finds out that we did it on on school property.
Speaker: And we both got kicked out of school for three days for it. We got three days suspension for it. And of course they had to tell our parents, do not. I mean, I may or may not have been the reason why the cheerleaders couldn't ride with the football players ever again. Jesus Christ. On the bus, I mean, she was doing stuff to me.
Speaker: I said, no, stop. Why are you doing this? I can't. Oh, no, please. Oh, I said, don't do this. I will do this on the on the on the bus ride back. Oh, my God. What are you? I can't believe. Wait, no, stop. And then it turns to the the fucking stepbrother scene where he's like, something's going to happen. I've seen that movie. Well, please, I love you.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, I lost my virginity at seven. Father Jim. Cool guy. Cool guy. Well, you know the difference between a priest and acne. Acne waits till your least 14 before it comes on your face. He said you're fucking safe.
Speaker: I don't think he's a part of this right now.
Speaker: God, the Holy Spirit, and Jeebus. I'm just holy sacrament. Hashtag why did Jeebus become a pastor, Father Tom? This is the strangest communion I've ever had. The blood of Jesus, the flesh of Jesus, and the come of Jesus all in my mouth at the same time.
Speaker: Here's 20 bucks, kid. Don't put it in the communion plate. Happy Christmas, everybody. Good thing Ron Sensible, Ron Sensible reviews his prayer for us. Yeah. Wrong stuff. All right, this tinsel's starting to piss me off. I did tell him not to waste his prayer on us, but your jeepers gave up on us a long time ago there, Ron Sensible.
Speaker: the blood, the body, and the semen of Bob.
Speaker: He said, no. He said, no. I can't turn enough water into wine to deal with these assholes. All this priest talk is making me hot. Have you seen this? I've seen that. There's a guy on TikTok that he does these things where it's like, if you could have anything from any movie
Speaker: the fifth
Speaker: The halo is not tarnished. It's broken and it's become horns. One of us. One of us. I'm a one of us. Welcome. Welcome back down. Welcome. On today's episode of Nonsenseical Nonsense, we look forward to abortions, suicide, and priest pedophilia. Do you have a question, buddy?
Speaker: I better not continue the conversation. If we all switch bodies, who would you want to switch bodies with? I'd be touching myself all day.
Speaker: I know. Why are you in a bathroom all the time? I mean, it wouldn't be really anything different from a normal day.
Speaker: There's this guy. There's this guy on TikTok. He does all these. If Jeff and his wife switch bodies, he'd be like, oh, we should have sex. And he'd be like, oh, this is terrible. This is what she has to deal with. This is horrible. We should have sex. No, put it in. It is in. Oh, that's what you mean. OK. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, I get it. All right. He's moving what women want.
Speaker: I feel bad for you. I mean, I thought I was having fun watching your titties bounce this whole time. You've been watching mine. Awesome. That would be me if I change into a woman's body. This is fucking cool.
Speaker: Some of the lesbian, can they just stand in front of a mirror and get themselves excited? Probably not. Brian is still sending Toyota weird man videos. Those bands are cool, man. I like them. He's obsessed now. That's all he's going to look at for the next two weeks. Yeah, I'm going to do the same thing with Volvo, so.
Speaker: It's not cool when you're carrying them around all day. Trust me. I, I understand. I got it. Once again, if I was a woman, I wouldn't be carrying them out.
Speaker: And some two old buddies over there, Sunshine. Look at you. Jesus. That retirement is really just doing a number on you. I'm telling you what, man. When you can't work it out, you can't stop it. Liggy's going to mail you her bra. Liggy's packing up her old bras to pay next to you. Liggy's going to be pets. And now they're kiddies. They're fun to squeeze. They're a solid B cup.
Speaker: Hey ladies out there in the audience that would like to do something charitable. Connor, your old bros and unwanted girls. He's going to need he's going to need some support. And, you know, if you want to send him some nice. No, I don't I don't need any of that. There's still also also also please send any V -neck shirts because he's going to be a part of the show. I feel like you should start showing off a little clean. Agreed. Yeah. You got the tits, dude. Show them off.
Speaker: Like he says her bras are way too big for him. He can wear him his hat. Don't worry about it. He might be catching up with you. Hashtag Harry Cleavage. We have eye candy on the show. I like that.
Speaker: Well, you guys didn't see that show. You ever seen the show Nip Tuck? No. What? So in the show in the show Nip Tuck is an older show. Yeah. It's it's it's too old for you. Your first two seasons were great, but then it just got weird. No, but the guy comes in, the one guy comes in, he's he's writing a book so he gets boobs. Like, how does he plan to get any writing done? He just got boobs.
Speaker: How big is your head? That's a real question. What is the other one smaller? What is like a triple Z? The other one's like a P. It's weird.
Speaker: great profile though great profile honestly honestly i'm pretty proud they're even they're perky they point they point north we're good hey well it could be it could be worse you could get uh fake boobs and there'd be like nazis
Speaker: Oh, yeah, kind of sort of. Yeah, man. Oh, yeah. I came in here and he said, you know, he said, you know, Goldilocks and three bear Goldilocks slept in three different beds. That means Mama Bear, Papa Bear were sleeping together. So the only person holding the family together was Baby Bear. Sure. Well, that was a 10 year old coming here.
Speaker: Hey, hey, go to bed. Just get the other way. Tuck down. You've been awake for too long. Time for NyQuil. Drink this and go to bed. Time for NyQuil and one of daddy's special gummy bears. No, no, I don't have no gummy. And I don't know. It was like, just like, like he got drunk off of it.
Speaker: Good Christ. Holy shit. She gets bras of old Volvo. Your Volvo. Mercy. What you want? I'll pray for your back. I'll be right back. No kidding.
Speaker: She's a size double click. Does her bra come with a back brace? I'll just say it. I'll be right back. Jesus Christ. Like, I mean, good for you, but damn, doesn't that hurt? I'm taking souls all to him. Oh, your poor back. I'm sorry. Man alive.
Speaker: That's what you gotta look forward to there, Connor. Hey, man. Listen, once I get my surgery, I'll get back to the fucking gym, but not being able to do like shit. It fucking, it has genuinely ruined my body. All right, dude. I believe it, man. It's been, it's been hell on earth and it's been, it's been, yeah, but we won't go down that road, but yeah. Talk about some titties. When I got my wife going, I kind of want them to look like yours.
Speaker: after the surgery. I came back in a weird spot. She wants to. She's wanted it since she's wanted to get her tits done since before I met her. I'll be right back.
Speaker: Oh my god. I'll have to say that to them individually. Isn't that one of your emotes? Isn't that one of your emotes on Twitch? What are you doing, dude? So, your wife wanted to go like bigger, smaller, or adjusted? Uh well, cuz I mean, three kids later, she's she's a little upset with with how they've
Speaker: inflated and deflated and all the things because you know with that because she well and I agree and I love her body. I really I really **** do but again, this is something she's wanted done since she was young since she was younger because she's never had like massive and I guess she's always wanted them and and now she has she has large larger breasts now but she she doesn't like that they're not like
Speaker: like, you know, I, I can't tell you no, it's your body and all the things. And so, you know what? I hope that, I hope that she gets what she wants and that when she comes out, like, she, she's happy with her body. And you know what? That's all that matters to me. Yeah, I agree. At the end of the day, it's all about, you know,
Speaker: doing what makes you happy. I would get a reduction, but I'm balanced out. Don't look at me. Because my. You're doing beautiful. I've said this before. Yeah. She's always had a bigger rear end than she has had a chest.
Speaker: And so I think that that's part of it too, is just she's, she's wanted to be kind of better proportioned and things like that. And that's again, I don't think that she has any issues. I hope I fucking love her body. I think she's gorgeous. But if she's, if she wants it done, she's going to get it done. And I hope she comes out the other side happy. Yeah. I think that's what I think. That's one of the things that's always benefited me in life. Um, because I've known guys that are a hundred pounds lighter than me, but I mean, they're as round as they are tall.
Speaker: because I'm like 300 pounds right now, but I'm also pretty proportioned. Everything kind of balances itself out. And that's what I said. If I get anything below 250, I look sick. I really look sick if I'm below 250. And technically, if you listen to the doctors and you look at the charts and all that other bullshit, I'm morbidly obese at 250.
Speaker: You know, but if I get anything smaller than that, I look fucking sick just because I'm I'm built big like I've got Yeah, and and like that's again I mean with all the medical shit that's been going on with like I've blown up I really haven't spent when I left Korea. I was sitting at 195 and dude. I was feeling great Yeah, I remember talking to you when you were like in Korea and stuff like you were You you look better than I was when we work together
Speaker: Oh, yeah. When we worked together, I was in decent shape. I was in decent shape. I felt good. I felt all right. And then I went to basic with the army and I got cut and I got lean because I was trying to go special forces route and all that shit. And I got done with that. And I was like, you know, I'm going to try this, that and the other. And I'm going to do ex workouts and I'm going to try these supplements and all this, that and the other. It was, it was great. And it was wonderful. And then I went to Korea and I was like, I'm just going to do natural everything.
Speaker: And that was the best I've thought. I just worked out like a fucking maniac because I love working out. And so that's, that's been one of the toughest things is just dealing with the fact that my body is not the way that it used to be. And the only way for me to get it back to the way it used to be is for me to start working out again, because I enjoy food. I enjoy eating fatty shit. I will, I'll eat my greens and I'll eat my fruits, but I eat, my portion control is terrible and it's never going to be, it's never going to be good. So like,
Speaker: Yeah. I understand the, the, the, what do you call it? Body dysmorphia and not loving the way that you look and wish wishing you could change it, but you don't have the means to do so. And it is what it is. You know, I wish that I was fucking 60 pounds lighter. I'm sitting here at the heaviest I've ever been. And there ain't shit I can do about it except for diet. And every time I diet, I feel like shit mentally. So let me just, I just live my life. I try and be as happy as I can just eat.
Speaker: eat and live and be dad and be home, man. So if she thinks that that's going to make her happier and make her like her body more, that's what she's going to do. And I support any lady who decides that that's what they want to do. As long as they're not going fucking Barbie on it because they're addicted to the cut, you know, but yeah.
Speaker: No, I mean, at the end of the day, you just got to be comfortable in your own skin. Right. You know, regardless of, you know, like, I'm not comfortable right now. I'm getting up there. I'm getting bigger yet. Nikki tells me all day. Shoot, shoot.
Speaker: You know, she thinks, you know, she tells me I'm handsome. She loves me. But I'm just getting uncomfortable in my skin. I just don't I don't feel good. You know what I mean? Like, yeah. Not only do I not like to look at myself like I'm getting to the point where I don't like to look at myself in the mirror, but it's also it's affected my body. Like my back's hurting more. My knees are hurting more. My ankles are hurting more.
Speaker: And I know if I get back in the gym and start and drop some, you know, if I drop like 50 pounds and these aren't going to hurt, I'm going to have energy too. That's all they could still have energy for anything anymore, man. I really, you know, um, so it's, it's just one of those things where sometimes you do things for, uh, personal, uh, personal reasons. So, right. Yeah. If who's happy and content, looking like a, like a meth doubt garden gnome.
Speaker: I mean, and you're, you're right though. Like Nick, my wife will tell me the same thing. And she's, you know, uh, I'll be getting out of bed. She's like, God damn, you're fucking hot. And I'm just like, she's never said that to you. Stop lying. The thing is I will never, I will never believe her. I will never believe her. It doesn't, it doesn't matter if I feel great in my skin.
Speaker: And I look in the mirror and I'm like, God damn, I'm a fucking good looking dude. And she looks at me and says, God damn, you're fucking hot. I'm like, she's fucking she's just she's trying to get something. What did you break? What did you break? Here's the credit card. Shut up. Tell me the truth. What I said, I'm like, hey, are you looking sexy as hell? You always said daddy. Oh,
Speaker: Oh my God, I have thank you for noticing. Connor was appreciative of me. Jeff, you could learn a lesson. Well, that was one of the things I did while I was at Abercrombie was like, we're at the DC gates and just fucking sitting out there.
Speaker: Dude, I get bored and I just do fucking pushups, but I was still, I was heavy. I wasn't thin. I wasn't skinny. I was a 195. I probably weighed 220, 225. And I was like, I just go out to do pushups. It's just working out. Makes me feel good. If I weighed over 200 pounds, I would look like a ball because you're five foot one. I'm five three because you're so goddamn short.
Speaker: Connor was doing push -ups and shit out in the truck gate. I was making TikTok videos when I got bored. We're not the same. But I try and do 10 push -ups now and I'll end up on the fucking couch cripple. That was funny though. I pushed myself up out of bed. Does that count?
Speaker: That was funny though as fucking after my surgery and I'm at work because these guys The military is fucking miserable. That's fucking why they had me at work But it's like after my surgery shit and shit and I'm rolling around in a fucking wheelchair and a walker and all this gay shit and this dude's getting just the ball smoked off of them and he can't do one right push -up and I'm like dude and I hopped out of my fucking wheelchair and I did 25 push -ups in front of them and
Speaker: Got up, got back in my wheelchair, and then slowly cried for three hours. But then I came back the next day, and they were like, dude, that guy was so fucking demoralized. It was such a win. It's like I might be crippled, but I can still do more push -ups than that 18 -year -old over there. That's the one thing I learned in military that I learned how to do really well with push -ups. Shit.
Speaker: I dropped the screw and I didn't hear it hit the ground. This is not good. No. I played that game. Get that magnet out. It's in my house. In a box. That narrows it down. Exactly. At least you know where it is. Well, I still got one more screw left, I guess. What are you taking apart? Or did you take a knife apart?
Speaker: I took the the pocket clip off my knife because it's bent outwards because my kid was playing. I don't know where my Phillips had screwdriver. I'm screwing on camera. Yeah, I'm going to throw it on camera. That's alright. I walked in the house with my drill and drill earlier and I was like, hey, I'm going to drill you later.
Speaker: I'll make sure I use some hard impact on you. And she told me to fuck off. But I have to use a power tool. Yeah, I mean, seriously. I don't know where the fuck my Phillips head screwdrivers are. I've got my flatheads, but I don't have one right here.
Speaker: I got one right here. What is Jeff? I'm in Mexico. You want to borrow mine here? Take it. I got one in the hallway. What the fuck is FFS? Somebody please help me. For fuck's sake. For fuck's sake. Jesus. We've already established you can't type. He's got to make sure it stays tight.
Speaker: I got my end time driver here. I told you I haven't been able to work out. Damn. What are you building over there? Oh, I'm just taking my clip off my pocket knife and adjusting it. Get the lock tied out. Make sure it never comes apart again. That is not what it came apart. He's going to strip the screw hole out so bad that he's not even able to use the pocket clip no more. Unlike you.
Speaker: Unlike you, I know how to drill properly and use my tools properly. So I don't have to go, I don't have to go full on the whole time. Are you saying you're a good screwer? God damn right I'm a good screw. That's okay. I'm an excellent fisherman. They call me a master baiter.
Speaker: I catch all the chromosomes came with your birth certificate. You can't say retarded. Yeah. Sorry. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa
Speaker: That would be impressive. That's my, that's my special power. Is two screws too much for you to take some of the part and find out where everything goes?
Speaker: It's a good thing you went into the chair force. You weren't actually held accountable for protecting our country. Yeah, no, I just had a million dollar aircraft that had screws and small. I'm proud to have lost zero pilots and zero planes. Connor, we need to bomb this country. Well, the screws are so small.
Speaker: I've got shaky hands, God damn it. You're alone. There's a reason why Chris was a really big truck. Mine is smaller. Mine is smaller.
Speaker: Hey, my dick might be small. I'm just saying if you can't figure out how to put that knife back together, don't ever work on my fucking car because you can't get it in the ass because he already lost. How did you get kids again?
Speaker: You better go check. It's a mailman. Listen, you you don't even you don't even have to go all the way in. You just need to get in the general area. Yeah, you guys hang out in the hot tub next thing you know. A fucker stay alive in the hot tub boy.
Speaker: Is that how they do it in the Air Force? I was just like... If I get in the hot tub, we're gonna get somebody pregnant. Somebody did a knockout tonight. One more weather. Jesus. I'm just saying, if you can't put that diving out of gas by the time we finish up, I feel bad for your wife.
Speaker: You guys make me laugh. It's making me shake. Put down the alcohol. I wonder if it makes you sleep on the couch at 8 o 'clock at night. If I fall asleep on the couch. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. He's got a concentrate. Everybody be quiet. There he goes. Damn it. I missed. There's one. Halfway there.
Speaker: No, all that's doing for me, like, is make me vibrate. Yeah, it is. Your wife tells you a joke in bed you can't have. That's exactly what she does. Right before we start. That's how she gets out of it. She's like, you know what? Nevermind. I put my phone on vibrate. Just call me.
Speaker: It's in my pocket. Just call me. You don't even have to put it in. Yeah. Yeah. I'm the man. I got my wife off from across the state boy. 47 times, but I got her out three times. What the hell are you talking about?
Speaker: We're gonna go get in the hot tub and get her pregnant. I mean, you put all that time and effort into a fucking wish.
Speaker: Come on, bro. Give it 20 minutes to lose the knife. I hate that shit, bro. Follow him. Follow him back by the end of the show. Or after the show, one of the two. Oh, that's terrible. Fuck, fuck, fuck. All right, today's the date. Today's the date! Just kind of randomly squealing for no reason.
Speaker: I was putting my knife together so I could off myself on camera. Ah, there you go. The fuse will go through the roof. We might lose the ER, but the US will go way up. This is the old podcast where one co -host sort of decided himself and the other co -host had a grabber because he ate one too many big macs. Make fun of my big macs.
Speaker: And he's sitting over there blaming me. He's had, he's had 17 Big Macs, 23, three liters and three and a half packs of cigarettes since we started this show. This is why I need, actually, I'm not allowed. I'm not allowed to order McDonald's or more. Cause my wife took the app away from my, off my phone. You can still drive through the fucking drive through you weirdo.
Speaker: the the the
Speaker: Well, that would be leaving the house. You know what to do, Jeff. It's time for you to square up in the parking lot. Yeah, it's time for you to tell her twice. Teach her a lesson, Jeffrey. He's laughing too hard. I can screw just fine. Thank you, lady. Sure you can.
Speaker: You've literally proven tonight that you can't. Hey, it got done. It took longer. Hey, just because the Air Force length. Just because it takes more than 60 seconds to screw. All right. I know that your standard. Hey, it's a race. I'm here to win, motherfucker. You're responsible for your own orgasm. I'm here. I'm here to finish second. All right.
Speaker: I'm still young. It's 2023. You're you're you're you're responsible for your know where it is. Sorry. Oh, actually, I have to get going here pretty soon. I got to go eat. Yeah. And you also got to go go to your fucking whatever you call it. God damn it. I hate it when I lose a word and can't fucking finish a sentence and joke and fuck you. Dialysis appointment. Fuck.
Speaker: God damn it. It's not funny anymore. I ruined it. Plan meeting? We're not going to let you on until you turn on your camera. You have to turn your camera on first. Who? Who's in here now? Well, on that bombshell, it's time for me to head to jail. We don't let people in unless they have the camera on prior. My gay part.
Speaker: What? That ball shot is time for me to go to bed. Yeah, I agree. I'm going to eat and I'm going to go to bed too. Well, go to bed. I have a whole lot of nothing to do. There's like 4 a .m. there, isn't it? Nothing's gone. The year's name is Wonky D Pronouns. Once again, we're not going to light you up unless you turn your camera on. That's how we roll. We don't play that game no more.
Speaker: Only 17 times you won't pull me Oh My camera doesn't work that's a pain Yeah, almost 4 a .m. See look at me I'm so fucking on the fucking Go jump in your Volvo and drive around the block you'll be fine I Just drank a fifth of vodka dare me to dry
Speaker: It's calm down. My son recently somehow discovered Eminem. Now he's obsessed. Oh, Jesus. And it's like, I'm like, what are you doing? Hey, we all go through the phase, man. We all go through it. Yeah, I agree. It's not a phase, dad. It sure is. Sure it's not. What do you say?
Speaker: All right, Chris, what the fuck, man? Now, playboy. Once again, unless you have your camera on, we're not going to bring you up. That's the rules. You don't like it, there's the door. That's how we roll. Because you're homophobic. What's wrong with being just a little bit homophobic? Just a little bit. Not a lot. Just a little. And I said it was 918. Man, look how fast they run away.
Speaker: as they realize they can't wiener bomb, they run away. It's shocking how much little time people have on their hands that they're like, hey, look, there's people alive. Let's wiener bomb them. Honestly, it sounds like a good time. It sounds like something that I've done. Fair enough.
Speaker: Listen, you haven't done it once and you haven't lived, all right? It doesn't have to be anybody in the States or anybody you know, just one person. You know, it comes down to one thing, you know, if that's your form of entertainment, good on you, but that's not my deal. I'm just sitting here trying to have a good time, have a little drink, talk to some friends, and there's a penis.
Speaker: Has anyone done that? Let's be honest. Let's be honest. Everybody that's engaged in this conversation has seen a penis. We don't need to see yours, dude. What in the fuck is Chris? I have no idea, but I'm going to mute him because holy shit. It sounds like a pretty tense conversation. They're just screaming back and forth, but not arguing. They're just talking. Tell him twice, Chris.
Speaker: And an impressive and unimpressive free this as well. I agree. You know, it's it's like I mean, if you had a fucking hog, yeah, if I had a giant hog, I'd want to show it off, too. But if you're showing up with a symbol, come on, dude. Or if it's like extremely micro, those are cool, too. I'll take your word for it. Some are like, like I said, dude, how do they exist?
Speaker: like like if I if I go on if I'm walking around like fucking uh uh what's uh what's uh what's uh what's his name John Holmes I'm walking around like John Holmes oh yeah I'm gonna show it off but I know I'm not John Holmes so I don't need nobody to see my face hey fuck yeah don't worry just hang on
Speaker: What are you doing? I'm looking up micro penises. Don't worry. Yeah. I gotta get in the mood. I gotta get the mood. That was pretty. It's interesting. I just don't get it. Where is it? Have you ever seen that? Have you ever seen that show? The New Girl?
Speaker: with Zooey Tishanel. The guy that plays Reacher was on it one episode and he meets Jessica and he's like, just so you know, I have a micropenis. And they look it up on the Google and they're like, oh my God, it's a real thing. What's the name of the, they need to have like a Neil deGrasse Tyson thing when he's going over micropenises.
Speaker: That's what I would be looking up. Like a documentary? Exactly. The micro -phenous. It will disappear. In his natural habitat. When put behind the shadow of Pluto, it is almost visible. What was it? So I was watching, I was watching, I was listening to a podcast the other day and this guy, you know, he goes into like the
Speaker: you know, African tribes out in the middle of fucking nowhere and shit. And he says, you know, these guys got these huge dongs because they don't wear anything. Yep. And, and apparently it's because they don't wear any pants that their dongs are giant. I'm about to go pantless around my house. I know. I was like, maybe I should start not wearing pants. There's no shot that that's why there's no fucking. I muted you because
Speaker: You and Nicky were talking very loud about God knows what. Oh, our door dash. Our door dash delivery driver was really cool. Well, no, they tried. They, they popped up at the bottom, you know, and I told you, I told him, I said, you know, I'm not bringing anybody up unless their camera's on prior. Oh, I see. And then we were talking about, and then, well, one of his names was a wacky deep pronoun and the other was Playboy.
Speaker: And I said, you know, it it's one thing if I had a giant, you know, John Holmes fucking, you know, ladies, check this out. Then, yes, I would show off my dick all the time. But if you got a little micro penis, what's the point? I mean, if that's your kick, I get it. Connor apparently likes it. Listen, I'm telling you, like he's got it right. I need it. I need to go. Narrow it out. And the micro penis. I'm sorry. I want I want.
Speaker: I want my micropenis documentary to be narrated by like, Morgan Freeman. Is that micropenis? That was the worst Morgan Freeman impression I've ever heard. I met a micropenis in 1972 when it came to salt. You've got like, you've got like old, old grandfather ass motherfuckers.
Speaker: I remember back when I was in the Corps. One of our guys, Jimmy, micropenis. We didn't make the bottom. We just wanted to see it. The micropenis is a natural environment. It is natural environment. It looks like a maybe anti -Cancun Mexico.
Speaker: Shut up, I don't know what you're supposed to know. We're talking about me. Jesus, shut up. No, like I said, it's the, uh, but I was watching, I was watching the wife and I were watching the new girl.
Speaker: and and dude shows up and they're having this whole discussion the guys are standing around the bar talking about you know women's boobs and i like them small like a big bubble and she's like you guys are so gross that you judge women on on their size of the boobs and i was like facts and then they're like so you don't judge guys i'm like what she said no and then she meets dude who plays reacher
Speaker: He's like, I have a microphone. And they bet her that she'll date him for a month, but she can barely go a night because he's so boring and so douchey. It's fucking hilarious. Oh, mercy. Yeah, Chris, micro penises. I'm glad I didn't hear that.
Speaker: This show tonight has had it all. Merry fucking Christmas. Yeah. Yeah. Merry Christmas. Happy Kwanzaa. Happy Chinooka. Yeah. All that. Honestly, we've had we've had murder. We've had suicide. We've had pedophilia. We've had micro penis, macro penis. The only way to round it up is check out this video of zoobology. We've had we've had cars, Mexican, Scottish and American.
Speaker: No. What else could you really ask? Rumors. The rumors. She's going to find out how small it is. It ain't going to be our little secret anymore, Jeff. I've never heard of an old song from the 80s or early 90s. It was kind of a hip -hop -y pop song that was called Rumors.
Speaker: Well, rumors is for cats. Isn't it? Cats. Cats? The musical? Yeah. Isn't that the song they were doing when in Jersey Girl that everybody sang was the song rumors or was it memory? I've never seen Jersey Girl. I don't know what you're fucking with. Really? I love Jersey Girl. It's a Kevin Smith movie. I love that movie. Nice to see you. You lost me.
Speaker: check it out. Maybe it was memories. That was a lot of songs. It's a Fleetwood Mac album, according to Liggy. And she would know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I know. I know Fleetwood Mac has a song called Rumors. I'm going to break something. Yeah, this is what I was thinking of. Jeff. That's half of my fucking job.
Speaker: There it goes. What in the fuck are you doing, Jeff? I'm dancing, boy. That's my dance. New view. Jesus Christ.
Speaker: the the
Speaker: V -E -A -U, NuVu, or whatever. I don't know, it's so weird. But it's rumors. That's what I was thinking of. Yeah. Unless you guys have a different Fleetwood Mac in your country,
Speaker: Well, I have to get going here a little bit cuz my food's almost ready. I know your food's there. Let's go ahead and wrap up for the night cuz it's Christmas. Oh my god. This you and this one last beer.
Speaker: it's pronounced new view nouveau said nouveau you can't type and you can't fucking read nouveau what a combination no one makes you go too long you forgot how to read pax actually i was going to read it i was going to say
Speaker: the the
Speaker: For fucks sake, what are you doing over there? It's a new bull. It's just Scottish. Do you mean? Stupid Mexicans. They're not the same.
Speaker: Two totally different countries, dude. Shut up. Her country's in the highland. The other country's connected. She will crush you with your boobs. Ireland's connected to the UK. Scotland's in the highland. It's connected to the nothing. Easy. It's its own fucking country. To a leprechaun now. Irish are similar to the Scottish. They're just happier.
Speaker: No, that's, that's Jeff's job. He's got the height for it. I'm a garden gnome. Yeah. Right. Fucker. Gee. Okay. The charges are doing this weird lateral. You're welcome. You're welcome. Like culture.
Speaker: Nobody gives a fuck, Glick. Yeah. Jesus. Do a back roll that ball. Playing that ball all the time. Who will survive? Who's supposed to have all of this? Potato. That's a potato.
Speaker: Say what? Put them in a stew. It's a potato potato. If you're if you're trying to figure out a Scottish accent, it's it's Mrs. Doubtfire. That's that's what it is. Mrs. Doubtfire. She's English. She's English. Yes. British. She's English. She says like four times she's English.
Speaker: I wasn't trying to. She said you are. No, this is not. I wasn't trying to be conservative. She was English. Yeah, she was English. She was English. Wasn't she? We didn't have a counter. How many times do I yell at the camera tonight? I'm pretty sure she was English. Yeah, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I don't fucking care.
Speaker: the the the
Speaker: the
Speaker: What's the what's the dude that played all right Robin Williams is was American he's not gonna do the greatest fucking Scottish accent I apologize can't fucking fix it and he was a national fucking here Yes, so I asked Google I
Speaker: Doubtfire revealing that there was almost a thousand boxes of footage from the classic film starring Williams as Daniel Hillard, a recently divorced voice actor, who in order to stay close to his three children goes undercover as British nanny, Mrs. Doubtfire. Which I guess technically is Scottish as well, which we discovered earlier tonight. However, the accent is British, not Scottish.
Speaker: Yeah, because she's talking about Stuart Little. Yeah. We'll just do this. What do we argue about? We'll just do this. She even says it. Um. Miss Heather? We said consumer energy.
Speaker: I think it's just a shitty accent in general. Yeah, I think it is. Well, yeah, it was never supposed to be perfect. No, but isn't there a British actor that plays a woman, an older woman similar to. Leggy is dropping fucking knowledge.
Speaker: I don't know how the fuck y 'all lucked out another goddamn win, but let's fucking go Buffalo, man. That was awesome. That was a great game. I had it all while I was doing the NFL's yay. He's gay. The guy on the bottom is super gay. Show him your tits, Connor. You can make that into a gif. I don't care.
Speaker: Oh, I wish I would actually but I should have saved that video because I would have made that. I would have I would have made a video like titties titties titties titties titties titties titties titties titties titties titties titties titties titties titties titties titties titties titties titties titties titties titties titties titties titties
Speaker: You gotta do it too. You gotta do the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang song. We love Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. We love you. We love you. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. What? Can you do the purple shovel? I know.
Speaker: Yeah, no shit dude like
Speaker: put a bag on you. I'm in baby. Yeah. Good night. Good night. Let's talk about American football. So the, uh, the Steelers of Pittsburgh beat the Bengals of Cincinnati earlier today with a score of 34 to 11, their third straight quarterback Rudolph. Won't you gather our team tonight?
Speaker: led the Pittsburgh Steelers. Thank you, Pittsburgh. As a Cleveland Browns fan, I was rooting for the Steelers tonight. They did their job. Both the Steelers and the Bengals are now mathematically up the fucking playoffs. Get out of here. I couldn't find a fuck to give, but I found this twist tie if you want it. You don't know what you do with that twist tie.
Speaker: It's not big enough to fit around my micro penis and twist it real tight. Like a bread, like a bread bag. I could get it around, but I wouldn't be able to twist it. They are, they are trying to stay alive at the AFC.
Speaker: Yes, I am a diehard Cleveland Browns fan. And he's a huge Buffalo fan. I hope he cracked your screen. We are both honorary members. He's an honorary member of the dog pound and I'm an honorary member of the Bills mafia.
Speaker: We root for each other's teams that are playing each other, which surprisingly doesn't happen very often. Chris, I have a trivia question for you about the NFL. Shoot. It was the NFL football was created in Canton, Ohio. No. No. Which logo faces other than right? What?
Speaker: The, as you see the, the bills, the, the bull, whatever. It's, it's facing to the right. Which, which logo in the NFL faces left? What's the logo faces left? Probably like fucking new England. Nope. Falcons. The bucket. It's not spaced to the right.
Speaker: No. I know the answer. The face on the book of the Buccaneers logo, it's going to the right, but the face is actually to the left. The Falcons go to the right. But the logo is the helmet and the helmet face is right. The red skins. Nope.
Speaker: Now they're the commanders. The bears are just a bear face. The Browns will have a logo on their helmet. The Ravens. Angles are just tiger stripes. I'll give you a hint, but the hint will give it away. You're going to say something stupid and it's not going to actually be what you're trying to say. You're probably going to say like my. No, it's not Miami. It's not the Eagles.
Speaker: Maybe it is. It is the Eagles. It is the Eagles. The Eagles. I was going to say Mark Wahlberg was going to be the clue. Again, you say Mark Wahlberg is the clue that's going to give it away. I would have automatically said New England. Really? Because he played on the Eagles. He played in the Eagles in that fucking movie. He did an entire movie where him and his stuffed teddy bear tried to steal Tom Brady's semen. What's your point? That is true.
Speaker: But he played, what was that fucking movie he did with the, he played one of the Eggles? Indestructible or something like that? Not indestructible. Invincible. He was Vince Papali. He played Vince Papali. Vince Papali. I love that. He's a goddamn monster. Yeah. The kid is great. He's a wide receiver. The kid is awesome. He's going to get in it. Go get the goddamn cat. He just ran outside.
Speaker: The Cleveland brownies my brother's got an early Christmas present
Speaker: Good day. Because the front runner for rookie player of the year, the rookie MVP, bumped his head last week and he's not playing. Oh, him hurt himself. We're actually playing Bryan's team. We're playing Bryan's team. Well, Bryan has multiple teams like Tony. One of Bryan's teams, the Browns are playing the Texans tomorrow and that's one of Bryan's teams.
Speaker: And they're working quarterback CJ Stroud, an Ohio State guy, also known as Aidan Hutchinson's little baby boy. Ain't that right, Connor? What? He might have said thank you for having football.
Speaker: He's zoned out. You're talking NFL. I don't give a fuck. I'm talking college football right now. I said CJ Stroud is AJ Hutchinson's little baby boy. I don't know who AJ Hutchinson is. I mean, because he's actually a strap like 27 times last year in the Ohio State Michigan game. OK, take your word for it. He's he knows what he knows what I'm talking about. He doesn't talk about three in a row, bitch.
Speaker: Oh, shut the fuck up. Look at the last decade. Shut the fuck up. You're not able to go literally. You're not able to remember the last 50 decades. Yeah, I'm sorry. I wasn't only Tony. Now it's the game made me. Yeah, no, we're going to actually show up.
Speaker: But no, poor guy. These youngsters, man, they wouldn't talk so much shit about Ohio State and Michigan, and they don't even know their history. They don't even know that Michigan still leads the series by, like, 40 games. They don't even know that Michigan still has... Dude, no one cares. You didn't know football was invented in Canton until I told you. Dude, nobody gave a fuck. No, no, no, no. They can't go to a planet. They weren't wearing helmets when they were playing when you're all excited about. Nobody fucking cares. I wasn't alive for it. Of course I don't care.
Speaker: Oh, Ohio State just had a coach who was touching who was touching girls inappropriate bar. A sexual predator talking to you know who I'm talking about. I got trouble at Ohio State. I got to run to the NFL. Yeah, we don't know. Hold on a second. One of my one of my assistants was kicking his wife's ass. Oh, kind of leave.
Speaker: We don't talk about Bruno. Oh, that's Penn State. We don't talk about Myer, what? Fortunately, the little boys in the shower had nothing to do with either one of our teams. That was Penn State. Oh, don't get sendusky'd in the shower. Hey, man. I didn't consider what happened with us sendusky's. I'm of age. Oh, god.
Speaker: I'm of age and it was conceptual. You were you were over the age of 18 and you signed a document and you recorded a video. I don't remember the document that might have been after the drink though. Yeah well you know I can either confirm or not confirm that to be true. I'm just ready to party. I just want to plane and and I we took you to an island
Speaker: Oh, wait, we're talking about Chris came out to the gate and said, you're ready to party hardy to Penn State. 100 % killed Joe Paul. Joe Paul had such a good man. Like I had an amazing career as a collegiate coach and all that shit just fine.
Speaker: And to this day, you'll never convince me otherwise. I don't believe that he had any knowledge of what was going on. I don't think Joe Biden any any knowledge or new, you know, or hit anything or anything like that. They just did my man dirty, you know, like and say tonight, you got to respect Joe. I respect, you know, both motion particular and Woody Hayes and Lloyd Carr and I mean,
Speaker: Well, let's be honest. We don't have to. We don't have to respect John Cooper, do we? You don't even know who John Cooper is. You're not old enough. Special old stress was a badass dude. Yeah, that was that was kind of stupid. Yeah, I agree. Joe Paul was definitely one of the best coaches ever in the Big 10.
Speaker: I do like me, I do like Tress. I thought Tress was cool. But I also met him when he was coaching at Yellowstone. He was one of his books signed by that. I had dinner in his house with him and his wife.
Speaker: When he was coaching at Youngstown, I was dating a girl that was from Oregon, Ohio, and they were up in that area and her parents were friends with the Trestles when he was coaching at Youngstown and got to go out dinner at the house and super nice guy. And then I met him when he was coaching Ohio State when I was working there and he remembered me. And I thought that was really cool. I thought that was really cool. I just think it's great that the reason that he resigned isn't even an issue anymore. Right.
Speaker: And I've said this about Michigan and everybody's like, we just say that because you're a Michigan fan. No, because I was saying the same fucking thing when they went after Ohio State over bullshit. It's a witch hunt. The NCAA goes on witch hunts and they try to get you on one thing and then they just want to fucking bury you because fishing expedition. Yeah.
Speaker: Trestle, Trestle in the vest shirt, man. Trest, Trest in the vest. Dude, that vest was... Trestle was a great guy. He was a really nice guy. Like I said, I met him years later. Hey, Merry Christmas, brother. I met him here the first time I met him and he remembered me. I'm ready. And had dinner and hung out. And then when he was at Ohio State, he was at one of my buildings one time and we bumped into each other and he was like, Hey,
Speaker: I know you. And I was like, do you? I was like, do you? And it was like, yeah, I remember you. You said you came over for dinner with my wife and the family and everything like that. And I was like, yeah. And I didn't know you worked here. I didn't know you worked here either, Tris. I have no idea. You're the coach of Ohio State. This is strange.
Speaker: You need to tell him to come support the channel. We have to be so censored for a whole show.
Speaker: I don't know if you're available. I know you got a lot going on. Would you like to get on my podcast? The only night that we ever behave ourselves. On a Monday. On a Monday. Well, I got to go chase down a cat, apparently. So I got to get going, boys. Yeah, I'm ready to go.
Speaker: Yeah, wrap up, let's go to bed. Clean off my bed and get to the park. Nice. We appreciate y 'all listening tonight. We appreciate y 'all hanging out. Hopefully you enjoyed the show. Reminder, we won't be here Monday. We will be back Wednesday. We won't be here next weekend. There'll be no music show on Friday that I host. There'll be no show Saturday night, and there will be no show next Monday.
Speaker: So you're going to get one show the next two weeks. And then after new year's, we'll be back on our regular schedule. Everything will be back to our regular bullshit. We're going to take some time off for the holidays, spend some time with our families. And you know, some of us are going to do a little traveling and whatnot. Hopefully you guys get to spend time with your families. Hopefully you guys have a great holidays, you know, whatever you may be, whatever you may be doing.
Speaker: Merry Christmas. In all seriousness, Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Happy Kwanzaa. Whatever you celebrate or don't celebrate. Happy holidays for those offended easily. I refuse to say that because fuck you. I was worried about Connor. He was in the Air Force. So, you know, if you say, fuck you.
Speaker: If you say happy holidays, you should be punched right now. Whatever the case may be. If you say, if you say happy holidays, you should be punched right now.
Speaker: You think we're going to write in the whatever you have. Write in the taint. We do appreciate you all. Check us out on social media, Facebook, Instagram, X and TikTok. We do do the show live Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays, 7 p .m. ish on YouTube, Twitch and Facebook. And you can listen to us any time, any place, wherever you listen to podcasts at. All at nonsensical nonsense podcast or you can go to nonsense or I'm sorry, bio dot link slash nonsensical nonsense.
Speaker: It's going to give you all of our links, including links to our check out W energy. They got that energy drink. No jitters, no crash, good vitamins, and it actually tastes good as opposed to these overpriced bullshit energy drinks, liquid IB. They're going to make sure you're properly hydrated. They're going to get you your vitamins that you need.
Speaker: And again, great flavors. You can't go wrong. There's 12 flavors, 16 flavors. I don't know. There's like a million flavors to choose. Check out dumb fudge. And they got liquid IV for the kids. So you can get the kids on there. www .ggliquidiv .com. Make sure you use our promo code words or heart. Get them discounts, get them savings. We'll see you guys next Wednesday. So it's something, a big little break.
Speaker: the the the
Speaker: No, weird. But anyways, no, Merry Christmas to you guys. Merry Christmas to your families. Be safe if you have to travel. Have fun. Have a great time. Enjoy the time together. We're going to take a little break and we'll get back to doing what we do. Yep. For the course, let me swap over here. We'll do another Christmas song.
Speaker: Connor's trying to tell me to steal second, I'm just saying. I don't know if he's telling me to steal second or if it's a quarter match sneak. The numbers, it's the numbers. Run, run, run Rudolph. I'm kind of into that. I was actually.
Speaker: We did the Mariah care all I want for Christmas. Let's do the anti -Christmas. This one's for all you Grinches out there. Yeah, buddy. And it's our friend, Sky Town Titans, with their cover up. You're a mean one. You're a mean one.
Speaker: Mr. Grinch, you really are a heel. You're as cuddly as a cactus and as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch. You're a bad banana with greasy black pea.
Speaker: Just face the music, you're a monster Mr. Grinch Your heart's an empty hole Your brain is full of spiders You've got garlic in your soul Mr. Grinch I wouldn't search you either
Speaker: Well, given the choice between the two of you, I would take the
Speaker: CZ Crockett out!
Speaker: You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch. You're a nasty, wacky skunk. Your heart is full of unwashed socks and your soul is full of gunk, Mr. Grinch. The three best words I would use to describe you are as follows and I quote,
Speaker: STAG! STAAAAAG! YEAH!
Speaker: Yeah. I like that. I'm a huge fan of Small Town Titans. I have reached out to them. I got the OK to play their music. I'm working on some other stuff. If you like that version of that song, well, obviously it'll be played here because I like to recycle the songs that I play Friday night.
Speaker: But coming up on Glitch House of Music, I do have some Small Town Titan. They're awesome. Any of you guys have heard of them do a cover song with Blacktop Mojo as well. Before we dive into that whole world and get into a whole other fucking rant and another tangent. Again, thank you guys for listening. Thank you guys for an awesome year.
Speaker: We've had a lot of fun. We've gone through a lot of changes just in case I forget to say this Wednesday night. But thank you guys for an amazing year, man. We've gone through a lot. We've gone through some changes. We've dealt with some shit on the show. We're not the type of people that hide behind anything. We just take care of business.
Speaker: right here on the show, sometimes it's not great for content, but it is what it is. But thank you guys for sticking with us. Thank you guys for following us. Thank you guys for getting in the chatters box. We love hanging out with you guys. And we look forward to being better and growing into the next year. 2024 is gonna be awesome for nonsensical nonsense, not just the show, but
Speaker: the brand that I'm trying to create, the network that I'm trying to create. We've already got my music show, Glitch House of Music. Benji, who has become a very good friend of the show at a very fast time, he wants to do Benji's cigar sack or cigar house or cigar and beer. I don't know what he's going to, we don't know what he's going to name it, but he's going to do his show. Jeff and his boss or co -worker,
Speaker: him and her wanna do a business show that'll all be under our umbrella. You guys will be able to get all that right here and it's a part of growth. Connor's gonna be probably joining the show more regular, more full -time, which is something that him and I have talked about behind the scenes a lot in the last year. And it's just a matter of my guy getting situated and getting everything taken care of. I look forward to that. I think Connor's gonna be a great addition to the show. He always is when he's here. And at the end of the day,
Speaker: We're just going to keep doing what we're doing and we're going to keep having fun. We put the drama behind us and a lot of people have reached out to me or have commented or dropped messages and that said that the last couple of months, last three months or so, four months of the show have been awesome. A way better improvement. Yes. They, they've really enjoyed it. They, they like what we're doing. They love, you know, when Jeff and I, when Jeff and I are clicking and we're in our rhythm, there ain't no stopping.
Speaker: and we found that flow and you know Connor's just gonna Connor's just gonna jump right in seamlessly because he fits naturally with us so again thank you guys for an amazing year uh from the bottom of my heart sincerely thank you guys thank you guys for listening Merry Christmas and Happy New Year enjoy the holidays with your family I don't know these guys have anything to say other than just shut the fuck up
Speaker: No, you know, in all honesty, you know, it's one of those things is like, when we started the show, we, you know, I think deep down, we both like, yeah, this, this will last like a couple of weeks, and then we'll get bored with it. But after we did the first episode, we were hooked. And we love doing the show.
Speaker: You know, we love being able to hang out each week. We love the chatters box. Now that we have a nice platform here with StreamYard and then ZenCacher and Dubby and what I be sponsoring, I think it's just gonna get better and better and better. Yeah, I don't have much to say other than like, just like Chris said, I mean, it's been a great year. Things have changed a lot all around.
Speaker: And like you said, the last three, four months, just watching the show, even just being on the sidelines and doing some behind the scenes stuff with Chris and just talking with him about some stuff. I'm really excited to come be a part of it and coming in through just at the end of the year and rolling right into it. And I'm excited to be in with Jeff and Chris and really be a part of this family. And I'm excited to keep popping in with the chatter's box and actually be a face on this show and ready for it. So yeah.
Speaker: Merry Christmas for everybody and and Happy New Year's and Kwanzaa and all that other crap. So we will see you. Well, not that you're wrong, I just. But yeah, we'll see. We'll see you guys all next year. Yeah, you might see this Wednesday. We'll see what happens. I mean, you know, worst case scenario, Jeff and I talk. It was like, yeah, you know, maybe it's one of those things we have one on divided on Wednesday, but.
Speaker: We might just be like, fuck it. I ain't got nothing to do. You got something to do? Nope. Okay, let's do it. Yeah, that being said, you know what they say? Deuces. Nice. Connor, you got any final words? Nah, peace out. Fuck you guys. I think you told Jeff to do a quarterback sneak and steal third. There you go. Well, that being said, remember, when you're making it in New Year's resolutions,
Speaker: And sometimes they might be difficult and sometimes you really don't know what you're going to do. Well, just ask yourself one question, one question, five simple letters, five simple words, w w N N D. What would nonsensical nonsense do? And remember, be good or fucking be good at it. Damn. I don't know what to do now, Jeff. No, I don't either. What do I do? Just stay alive? Yeah. Yeah. Just leave it go.
Speaker: leave it go off and just leave. Yeah, just walk away. Yeah, just you got the fucking wrong thing up. Who? You had the wrong thing up so you can hit the button, the button. Merry Christmas, guys. Merry Christmas.
