Nonsensical Nonsense 38

Transcript

Speaker: Go ahead. I said, grandpa, what's this picture here? It's all black and white. And it ain't real clear is that you there. He said, yeah, I was 11.

Speaker: Your times were tough back in 35 That was me and Uncle Joe just tryin' to survive a cotton farm And a great depression And if it looks like we were scared to death Like a couple of kids just tryin' to save each other

Speaker: This long hair was taking over seas In the middle of hell of 1943 In the wintertime, you could almost see my breath That was my tail gunner, old Johnny McKee He was a high school teacher from New Orleans And he had my back right through the night

Speaker: Like a couple of kids just tryin' to save each other You should've seen an income Well, a picture's worth a thousand words But you can't see what those days that break keep cover You should've seen an income

Speaker: This one here is my favorite one This is me and grandma in the summer sun All dressed up the day we set our vows You can't tell it here but it was hot that June And that rose is red and her eyes were blue Just look at that smile I was so proud

Speaker: my life

Speaker: All right. What's up everybody. Happy Saturday.

Speaker: kickoff college football was today. So hopefully you guys had a good day, had a good week. Welcome to nonsensical nonsense. As always click hanging out with my little buddy, Jeffrey, who looks like a lunatic right now. What is going on with your face and hair? I literally just finished working like

Speaker: Uh, like an hour ago, I was trying to get cleaned up for the podcast. As I stated the other day, I'm still building kitchen. Well, it's the thing is, is like, when, when, as I stated before, if I could, I could build it by myself.

Speaker: But sometimes you need somebody to hold something and my son Refuses to stand around for more than 30 seconds So you'll have that Yeah, but uh, as I said, welcome everybody to nonsensical nonsense. You're not already Feel free to go check us out on social media facebook instagram twitter tick tock youtube twitch

Speaker: You name it, we're there. Go give us a like and a thumb. And if you want every episode of the podcast, feel free to check us out on Spotify, Google and Apple. And pretty much anywhere you get podcasts at, basically you can go say, Hey Siri, Hey Google, give us nonsensical nonsense and bada bing bada boom. There it is. And then if you want emails, you can do so at nonsensical nonsense podcast at gmail .com.

Speaker: We got the top of your head man appreciate I'm literally trying to I have to I'm trying to sign into Facebook with my wife Listen, what are you doing? Both of your wife's phone seeing all the the dirty text between her and one Yeah, no, it's because I've never signed into Facebook on this phone so I'm

Speaker: I don't know. Give it five minutes. I'm sure you'll be in Facebook jail, Kevin. Yeah, right. No, but like, I'm almost done. I just have the doors to do on this thing. Which I spent most of the day most of the morning anyways. Because I'm the most organized builder on the fucking planet.

Speaker: I'm using I'm reusing the old doors because I actually made it so they'll fit. But there are those adjustable hinges. Which are the most annoying fucking things in the world. And you have a part that actually goes on to the cabinet and then a part that goes on the door. Well, two of the ones that go on. Yeah. What was the issue with with the original with the original cabinets and stuff that were out there? Their particle board.

Speaker: Oh, gross. Yeah, they're, they're made out of particle board. So when you get a, you know, and I have a 10 year old and a six year old, and when you get a, uh, when, when, when you get one is actually your brother. Oh, when you, when the kid Kevin Holly said one is his brother. Nice. They would, uh,

Speaker: get the cabinets wet and after two years of being in this house they and it's been confirmed by a couple other neighbors that their their house is doing the same thing uh that the cabinets are falling apart so well i mean particle boards call me to build more well make them pay you well obviously i'm gonna go for free because this is a hell on earth build

Speaker: Well, that and I think you also make it harder on yourself than it needs to be. I do. Because you overthink and overcomplicate things. Well, actually, this is like one of the simplest builds I've ever built. It's literally just a damn box. But with the exception of the way I did the face frame. The way I did the face frame. I think the face frame looks fucking awesome. And once it's all

Speaker: body filled and everything. I'm over building the look. So when you come in, it'll look like the hood of a car. Just perfect. I don't think they need much of anything in Mexico as far as they just do what they want, just build what they want to build and get it done and get it out of there.

Speaker: no permits or well if you want to build something like I was talking about building my extension onto my bedroom and building my balcony and my garage thing um the only thing you have to do is have the only rule is for something that big you have to have an architect draw it up that's it other than that you're golden

Speaker: there's no there's no code I've literally yeah electrical wire wrapped around a waterline I went I used to do

Speaker: when I first moved here. Was that was that put in was that put in by a contractor or was that a doing yourself? No, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not talking about here. The thing is is like when I first moved here when Facebook first started out, I used to post on Facebook anybody in the Cancun area that needed work done that spoke English. They can call me. And you know, because I'm a jack of all trades, you know, I've I've grew up doing plumbing and and of course,

Speaker: think I'd lost knowledge by working with Tom Tinney, but but you know There's nothing I can't fix or build if I put my mind to it and Later on once YouTube started getting bigger between me and YouTube. There's nothing I can't build or fix Yeah, exactly. Apparently apparently Kevin is a Mexican it has a moral a mural of the naked lady vato on his lowrider and

Speaker: And he said, Fucking Modela, are you drinking Modelo? Yes, I am. At least to drink that or drop that shit around the water pipe. And if it starts to fire, it's all good. It was. Well, yeah, YouTube University, as Kevin said, is where everybody goes for everything. Well, you know, well, but but I literally would get these calls and people would call me like, hey, I got this problem. I'm like, yeah, I can come over, look at it.

Speaker: You know, when the exception of the house was 30 years old and it and redone like 14 times like 50 different **** owners or tenants or whatever. And you see stuff and go, wow, that's not even remotely code. You know, yeah. No, no, actually, YouTube is fantastic for for finding as Jeff said and it's not a bad thing really or not Jeff. It's really not. Um my my ex

Speaker: If you live in the southern region and you have Rick Hendrick, also the owner of Hendrick's Motorsports, a NASCAR and whatnot, and you buy a car from him, you should go ahead and slam your dick in a door for doing that. I bought a brand new van from him because my ex -wife wanted a van at one point in time. Came with a warranty, this, that and the other thing. Well, we had a

Speaker: like a relay switch or something that went bad in it. So the key kept getting stuck in the ignition and stuff like that. Yeah. Unless you're a fucking 30 year veteran of mechanics, you have no fucking clue how to fix it.

Speaker: Well, no. So, you know, it's covered under warranty, bumper to bumper warranty, manufacturer's warranty, this, that, the other thing, you take it up there. Well, apparently that piece was not covered under the warranty and it was going to be like $900. Well, what does my ex -wife do? She goes on YouTube, finds out how to fix that part, goes on Amazon, finds the part for fucking 99 cents, has it delivered to the next day and she fixed it her damn so.

Speaker: Well, I mean that's that I've done that a lot as As most have noticed I don't buy new shit. I mean this house is the newest thing I've ever bought I don't buy new cars because I'll void the warranty by the time I make it out of the parking lot Because I can't leave shit alone. I have to customize everything You know, I bought it in white so I could paint it black, you know kind of you know They didn't have a black one. So I bought white it's easy to paint over kind of thing

Speaker: So, you know, uh, or lowering it or raising it depending on what it is. So when it comes to a lot of the cars I've bought, I buy them and I'm like, yeah, I can fix this. And then I look at it and go, I don't know what the fuck's wrong with it. Assume to be XY. Sorry. Yeah, soon to be. When is that final? Summer. Summer is that as soon as I have the money to pay for it.

Speaker: Summer Summer is currently in a mood right now. She's mad at me Because I have something while you can't fucking see I was gonna show you Hold on. Let me bring up YouTube on the other phone

Speaker: Yeah. Well, that's the thing. That's the thing. Everybody, everybody thinks they're a tradesman or craftsman because they can go on YouTube and then they have fast do shit. Trust me. I see it all the time. Yeah. Well, that there's also that meme. I know a guy that can do it cheaper. And he's like, sure you do buddy. Well, well, as I tell, as I tell people all the time, like,

Speaker: when I, you know, I'm in pest control. So if I'm under a house or an attic or this, that, and the other thing, and I see things that we won't repair, we don't fix. I tell them all the time. Um, no, well, I tell them all the time, you know, get three quotes. Don't get, don't go with the first guy you talked to because you might talk to somebody and you might go with the cheapest guy and you might go with the more expensive guy, but always remember one thing at the end of the day, you're going to get what you pay for.

Speaker: Amen to that. So, you know, the cheapest guy might come in and do the job properly, but you never know unless you, you know, the most expensive guy might be just a fucking jerk off and fuck everything up. What the hell?

Speaker: So that's why I tell him, I said, get at least three quotes, meet with at least three contractors and go with the one that you, uh, you've, you feel the best about and the one that you, uh, you want to meet the people as well. I mean, if a guy walks in, you know, he's wearing a suit and tie, he doesn't know shit about building.

Speaker: Well, I mean, that's not necessarily true. You still got a pencil in there from the last job he's doing. Yeah. I mean, that's not necessarily true. You can never judge a book by its cover. Just because a guy wears a suit and tie doesn't mean he doesn't know how to build a house and all that jazz.

Speaker: Yeah. But, um, no, I mean, I used to, you used to get that all the time when I worked at Orkin, people would get, get upset because, you know, we were expensive. There was nothing cheap about Orkin and they would cancel their service because they're like, Oh, I can go to Joe's most, Joe's most, uh, pest control. And, uh, you know, I can get it for half the cost. And I'm like, all right, we'll go ahead and do that. I'll see you in three months. Yeah, exactly. And, and, and almost like clockwork.

Speaker: Oh, yeah. Well, it sounds it's one thing to do it cheaper. It's another thing to do it so cheap that it's unrealistically cheap because they're using cheap materials or they're having water. They're Jimmy regular. Yeah.

Speaker: Thanks, Kevin. Love you too, bub. Well, you know we're here every Saturday. I won't say Wednesday because, you know, we're both live on Wednesdays. I told you, everything looks crazy. I gotta fix this. I don't know if Summer's still here. Dude, you can come on anytime you'd like, like I told Stan.

Speaker: Stan Flaky Deo. All you got to do is download the HAPS app and get your profile. I mean, we won't discuss crazy COVID and conspiracy theories, but come on and hang out with us. Yeah. Well, because she Snapchatted me and I was in the shower and I was trying to do some stuff and then I was trying to get everything ready. You said you were going to be late. So I was like, well, just going to be late.

Speaker: Uh, well, yeah. So I was like, well, Jeff's going to be late. I'm going to do something real quick. And then I had to take a shower. And so I was running around like a lunatic. I seen her Snapchat. I just didn't have a chance to snap her back. And she got upset about it. Snapping me. Don't fuck you then. My wife, my wife, she, uh, her and her friends are one of her friends, uh, her best friend's birthday party tonight, but she wants to go to this restaurant.

Speaker: in Playa del Carmen, which is an hour drive. And she was getting ready and she's like, I need this. Can you find me this? And I'm like, I got a podcast in like 45 minutes. She's like, you care more about Chris than you do me. You know, I was like, yeah, I was standing out here in the bedroom with you. Finding you shit, you know.

Speaker: Yeah, so the reason I was preoccupied and all this that and everybody fucking bitching at me tonight. Anybody else want to climb on board the fuck glit train tonight?

Speaker: I got something. Hold on. Let me break something up. Hold on. Let me think something. I'll jump on that train. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Harry fucking faster. There you go. I got you. Yeah. Cameron's Cameron's bitching at me because I'm not watching the fucking Clemson Georgia game. I'm like he's like watching the game and I was like, what is today? Much like I already answered four different questions about doing something tonight because what is tonight? And now he's all like, well, whatever.

Speaker: No, but I talked to my mom the other day Spock was speaking of sports. I was talking to my mom yesterday. She's like, uh, last night we tried to stay up, watch Ohio state game. And I was like, who the fuck are you people? We never watched. Well, or, or, or gave a shit about school activities. Like, you know, the extracurriculars, you know, we never gave a shit about,

Speaker: the football team there until I started doing sports. And it was like, everybody's got to fucking show up. And I'm like, I don't want you to come. OK, first of all, Kevin, fuck you, pal. You gave me a deflated air mattress. And I'm pretty sure I didn't pee in your sink. And if I did, it was probably justified. My bad. Kevin's jumping on board.

Speaker: He could have yelled at me for making them love Nickelback. That would have been better thing to yell at me for. I don't know. Can you see the video going on? One of the reasons that I was preoccupied and I was rushing around here like a jackass.

Speaker: was I decided to do some, well, I didn't decide to do something today. Summer basically dared me to do something and didn't think I would. So I did. Show to your pecker. If you can see the cam. I will hear it in about a minute. In a minute, I'll be like, oh, snap! Oh my gosh. What the hell?

Speaker: Oh my god. What the fuck? My head is on fire. I didn't even put any lotion or anything on it. When you order Obadiah Stane from Wish. She said it looked like a pecker, only smaller. What the fuck can happen? You're freaking me out.

Speaker: I was uh I was posting uh once I get it some sun on my head it'll be all right um I was posting the the uh Wednesday's episode on Spotify and Apple and all that jazz and so I was live on I was live on uh on uh Haps and then I went live on TikTok for a little bit and uh oh she's talking to you Kevin and while I was on TikTok I was like I need a haircut um Jesus

Speaker: Kevin said, Jesus, Rob, Alfred put a hat on your head. But I was like, I need a fucking haircut. Jeff Bridges. Jeff Bridges is, what are you talking about? He's open. Yeah. He's not fucking Arnold Schwarzenegger and Conan the barbarian. Obadiah stain had the bald head and beard. Yeah.

Speaker: But uh, but uh, she was like, just shave it. I was like, I, you know, I might. And she was like, no, you won't. I don't know. Probably not. It's like, I don't really have time or anything else. Yeah. She's like, she's like, uh, I was like, I really don't have time before the podcast. She was like, Hey, you do. She's like, I dare you to do it. So I was like, well, Jeff said he's probably going to be late. I got a little bit of time to kill. I'll go ahead and fucking do it. So.

Speaker: That's what I was trying to do. I didn't have my phone on me because I was trying to help him. Well, that's also because the thing is you cover your head with a hat and you can cover your head with a hat. I don't wear hats. Yeah. And my wife, you also use the opportunity to smack me upside my head every time. But you also have that mentality of.

Speaker: much like last week when Joe came in and he was like, $500 to shave your beard. And you're like, I ain't shaving my beard. It's, you know, some guys don't have personality, so they have to have beards and hair. It all comes down to the fact that I don't really care about my hair or my beard. I'm just too lazy to do anything about it, which is why it's always wild.

Speaker: I don't care. This will all be grown. This will all be grown back by Wednesday night anyway. My hair grows so stupid fast, man. It'll already start starting to be coming back by Wednesday night. I won't even have a chance to get any sun. So I don't know if I started to get sun on it and start to get a little bit of tan and it doesn't look like

Speaker: like I just joined the Aryan Brotherhood. I might keep the vault for a little while. If I can't get any, I'll be like, you know what's going to happen Tuesday. I'm going to go back to work because I'm off Monday because of the holiday. Tuesday, I'm going to go back to work and I'm not going to wear a hat. And I'm going to get fucking sunburn on the top of my head. Start peeling. You look like a dick coming out of his horse again. Yeah.

Speaker: but I wish she was. I love summer. She's great bro. Or she's, she's great bro. Good catch. Walking dog. We'll check back soon. We'll be here. Love you too, brother. She is. She's a pretty good catch. Uh, she's feeling, she's feeling better. Um, she goes back to work tomorrow. Um, but she finally got her energy and everything back. And then she,

Speaker: What's that? Yeah. Well, she got her energy back and all that jazz. Well, she, she, she goes to her store for one day and then she's doing a store opening all next week. She leaves, uh, Monday. Yeah. Monday morning, I think to go to a store opening. So we should be up there until Saturday. What's that? Where's the new store?

Speaker: in Tennessee in Clarksville or something like that somewhere as if they need another fucking store in Tennessee They've got about 45 of them. I'm like, no, they need to open one in Columbus Or in Newark Newark open one in Newark you sons of bitches you dirty rat bastards I've never seen a boot born

Speaker: Well, I think it'd be cool to have one because I would I think I don't I don't think it's a I don't think it's a very old store. If someone was here, I would ask her, but I've heard it. Yeah, so I love the fucking I love the fucking stores. Like I said, it's one of my favorite stores, but. Yeah, so she's starting to feel better, but unfortunately, then she just told me today, one of our friends, a friend of ours from TikTok.

Speaker: Um, she actually has COVID and she's in ICU right now with it. So I really don't know. I didn't even know she had COVID. I, cause I mean, I just, I don't talk to a lot of people. So, um, Summer talks to more people than I do, but she Summer told me about it. So I have absolutely no idea.

Speaker: Oh, dude, you know how Wednesday, I didn't get home until like 830 or whatever, 9 o 'clock, some shit like that. Right? Yeah, Thursday, I didn't get home until like 1030, almost 11. It was. Yeah, it was. You could have been actually in the attic. You said you were a gopher though.

Speaker: Yeah, fortunately, Wednesday, I was up in, I got up in the attic a few times for a few things. But yeah, for the most part, I went and did a little job and then I was running back and forth and getting things. And then I was just loading the the installation blower. So that's when I worked for North Central, that's all I did was I would load that blower every day. But

Speaker: you know, which sucked at itself, but oh, no, it does. But they also when you when you do the training for it, they tell you make sure every was like every 15, 20 minutes to go check on the guy in the attic in case he passed out. And I'm like, yeah, my first third dad is like, wait, what? He's like, yeah, it's a lot up there. They can pass out. And I was like, what do you want me to do if he passes out?

Speaker: This dude 300 pounds and six foot six. I'm five three and 150 pounds. I'll call an ambulance. They should have had, they should have had brutal ass. They should have had brutal ass in there. I was, I was 18, 17, 18. Yeah. And I had no fucking clue how to do it. So I mean, if they would have showed me, I probably could have, but that's, I was in charge. That's what I would have done if the, if I was the guy driving a truck.

Speaker: Yeah, exactly. Well, and that's kind of what it was. I mean, my boss is a lot smaller than I am. So he made the comment. He's like, you should be thankful. I'm such a nice boss. And I said, you should be thankful. I'm a good employee. And then I showed up for work today. After yesterday, it was just like, touche.

Speaker: Yeah, try to do this job by yourself. Yeah, it is definitely a two person job. It's never installation at all. Even doing regular installation in the walls. That shit sucks. Even on new construction. Yeah, I'm not a big fan of

Speaker: I'm not a big fan of installation work, but you know, fortunately, fortunately, as he said, we don't do too many of those jobs. So I'm like, how much you don't ever do any of those jobs? Yeah. I think I did that. Yeah. I've never been a big fan of insulation. So.

Speaker: That's just me, but I'm also not a big fan of addicts either because unfortunately on TV you see people get into these addicts and they're this like big beautiful addict and you can stand up and walk around the size of my house and you're like, Holy fuck, I got closets bigger.

Speaker: Yeah, what's going on, Justin? Yeah, and unfortunately, addicts in real life are not like... I was watching the... I go to bed at night and I watched Ghost Hunters. That's what I go to bed to. I don't really like the show, but it puts me to sleep. And they were doing an investigation and they were over the attic and I'm like... Yeah, it's actually pretty cool. What is it? Oh my gosh, hilarious. I'm waiting for the next season.

Speaker: Oh, Nick Frost. Never mind. I thought you were talking about Nick from from Ghost Adventures. The guy from. No, Nick Frost and Simon Pegg have a. Yeah. Yeah, I watched those seasons. Yeah. Is the second season out? I feel like there's two seasons. Either way, I watched it. We were talking about it. I watched it. I loved it. Yeah, I loved it. I thought it was a man. Yeah, it was pretty good. You know, Nick Frost, he he he should be in everything.

Speaker: I watched a movie I haven't seen in a while. I watched in time today with Justin Timberlake and Amanda. Isn't that the one? Isn't that the one where they like their lifespan is in time on there and it's like on the wrist or something? No, it's it's on their forearm. They got 13 digits and you age until 25 and then you stop aging.

Speaker: but you don't want the minute you hit 25 years old, you have a year on your arm and you work to gain hours, minutes or whatever, which you would think, okay, if I'm doing a job, I should gain a minimum eight hours because it's an eight hour job, right? So I mean, do they pay it eight hours, 20 minutes or something like that? They never really explained that part.

Speaker: Yeah, I don't. Yeah, I think I've seen that movie once, maybe twice. They just put it on Netflix and I was like, ooh, I haven't seen this movie in a bit. And I didn't realize it was Amanda Siegfried until today. Because like I said, I saw it once and I was like, oh, shit. There we go. I have message Rocky earlier. And I was like, just send me a message. And he messaged me back. He was like, yeah, fucking.

Speaker: Yeah. No, no, no. Not about coming in. Um, I got it. Like I said, I got a surprise for you in the first break. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. I get it. Got a surprise for everybody in the first break. Nice. I'm ready. Well, obviously I'm not ready, but you know what I mean? Oh my gosh. I'm ready. I'm not ready, but I'm ready. There's a show on Netflix. I don't know if you get it because it's, uh, the,

Speaker: I think we've discussed this before, but Netflix, US, Netflix, Mexico, two totally different fucking things. I don't understand. I don't understand why they are because I'll tell you what, there are so many shows and movies that I watch or that I go to watch and I'm like, man, that looks like a killer show or a badass movie. Then I start to watch and start watching. It's like, it's like, yeah, it's Indian or Russian.

Speaker: There's a show on there that shows so good dude that shows so good it's Why is it in German down there? It's first of all it's not German It's it's I think they're in the Netherlands. It's Dutch But it's in English I've watched the first two seasons. Yeah, it's in English. I just see the preview and it's just here speaking in German

Speaker: But there's a show it's called money heist Now it's in Spanish But once you put the because it's it takes place in Spain and it's about it's five parts because God forbid Netflix actually do seasons, but whatever but it's about a Bank heist at the Spain's

Speaker: Federal Reserve. Yeah. And the fifth season, fifth part or whatever just came out and like assholes, they made us wait two years and then they put out five fucking episodes yesterday. Well, that's that's another thing that drives me crazy about like Netflix originals like television shows or whatever.

Speaker: Uh, because I take so fucking long to do. I mean, uh, there's a show on there that I really like. It's called Slasher. Basically it's a Canadian version of American Horror Story. Okay. But it's so good. But it was, it was on, it was on the Chiller network. I think the first two seasons were on the Chiller network and then they canceled it. Well, the Netflix picked it up. Netflix.

Speaker: Yeah. And they, they put the first two seasons on and then it, I think there's four seasons, but between season two and three, it was like a good year and some change. And it was the same thing for season four. And now I think it's going on over a year since season four ended. And they said there was going to be another season. I'm like, well, come on already. Well, I mean, same thing with the ranch.

Speaker: and I was like, okay. Yeah, I don't think I I don't think I finished the the

Speaker: I don't think I don't because I the last time I see a rooster still on there. So. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Roosters roosters gone in the last couple of seasons and and yeah, I know and then my deck shepherd shows up just getting back from Afghanistan or some shit like that. But she's decent. So but it's also it's so old that what's his name? The fat guy from

Speaker: I can only think of American history X he's in that. Ethan Suppley is still fat in the show when it ends. Looks like the rock.

Speaker: The guy from My Name is Earl and every - Yeah. He was in Remember the Titans. I can only think of him driving that van singing the most racist song you could think of in American History X. Yeah, he's a fucking monster now. Yeah, well, oh my God, dude. He's lost so much weight. He's just beefed up like you read about. I think he's spent an entire quarantine in the gym. Yeah. Just sucking down protein and banging out the weights, man.

Speaker: What's going on, Steph? But this money heist, it's actually in Spanish, it's called Casa de Papel, or paper house. And it's 10 people stealing gold from the Federal Reserve in Spain. And fuck, it's so good. But I have to watch it. And like, fuck, I missed what he said, because I couldn't read it fast enough. I back it up. I gotta watch it with the subtitles on.

Speaker: Yeah, because it's in Spanish and I can't keep up with the Spanish because it's well, they they like this in in Spain when they speak in Spain, they speak like this. They they don't they don't say S they say with a list basically. Yeah, it's like everybody's got a list and well, dude, check out this. I think my Spanish from Mexico can't keep up with it where my wife's like, I can understand it. I'm like, well, fuck you. You're Mexican.

Speaker: Yeah. Yeah, obviously you can. Well, like I said, check out that. Check out that show Ragnarok, man. It's really good. It's a slow burn, but it's really good. Okay. Yeah. I think, I think I started to watch it. Yeah. But I, I love it. I think when you watched it, you watched it dubbed and you didn't realize it. I know. I don't, I don't mess with the settings.

Speaker: No, no, it's it's it's because your your shits already set up in in English. So to put everything in English. Put your fucking shit in in English for it to be dubbed in English. It doesn't screw it up. It's not it's not like a bad. My shit automatically sets up in Spanish. So I have to. It's not it's not like if it if it was dubbed, it's not like the old like remember the old like Kung Fu movies. No, no, it's not that long.

Speaker: Yeah, I will kill you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it's it's really my family nowadays. When they dub nowadays, you you you really have to go. That doesn't sound right. I mean, you have to really watch and go. Yeah. Yeah. Because I mean, it's like I said, it's in English, but it's but it's got the like Danish accent or allish, whatever the fuck it's called. Like I said, it's it's in the Netherlands. It's in. They say where it's at over and over again. But like I said, the first North

Speaker: Uh, no, I don't think I have, I haven't even watched the show Vikings. I kind of want to, I kind of want to watch Vikings, but Vikings, Vikings is, uh, kind of like the same deal as, uh, uh, like Yellowstone. I really want to watch Yellowstone, but I feel like there's so much height behind it that I won't like. If you watch Vikings after about.

Speaker: two weeks you'll come on here going ragdoll lostbork is the baddest motherfucker on the planet and his brother rolls a dick plus plus on top of it like all these douchebags on on quote unquote norse talk where they they claim to be norse pegan and this that and the other thing they all base their norse knowledge off of that fucking show so they all they all dress and act and look like them and it's just like

Speaker: That's not even remotely close to being real, you fucking retard. The funny thing is, right now with your shaved head, you kind of look like Ragnar, like a wish version of Ragnar Lefebvre in season four. Motherfucker, keep telling me I look like a wish version of anything. I'm goddamn Amazon Prime, first of all. The dude from Vikings, he's a good looking cat.

Speaker: I mean, he's no Ryan Reynolds, but he's a good -looking cat. Yeah, but she said I was the wish version of him. Yeah, well, go look at the motherfucker. Watch him in a couple episodes, and you'll be like, yeah, I'm the wish version of that dude. No, I'd be like, that motherfucker's the wish version of me. Speaking of Ryan Reynolds. Oh, I want to see that new show he's got coming out with The Rock. It's going to be on Netflix.

Speaker: I don't know what you're talking about. I was going to say, did you see that TikTok video that that chick made? And she was like, she was sitting at a desk or whatever. She's like, I have to know, what is the choke hold? What is or what is it that Ryan Reynolds is doing that he has such a choke hold on every straight man on this planet? Oh, she's like, what is he doing that a single women are not doing?

Speaker: you're not looking like Ryan Reynolds. That's what I want to see. That is an understanding. I don't understand what it what dude has over everybody. Yeah, because he's I mean, you know, honestly, he's kind of he's kind of a goofy looking dude. Like he's like, I don't know. I just think I get it. Like there's just

Speaker: I think it's a personality thing. I think it's like, he's like an every guy, like he's, he's not afraid to make fun of himself. Yeah. It's yeah. The personal green, green lantern. Oh yeah. Well, I mean, at the end of, at the end of Deadpool two, at the end of Deadpool two, he takes shot at not only green lantern, but that Wolverine movie where he was, yeah, where he went the next.

Speaker: No scratching. No scratching. You'll thank me later. But I think it's just, I think it's his personality because he's one of those guys that he comes across like, you know, he would be so cool to hang out with. Just sit back and drink a couple beers and bullshit. He's totally kind of a guy you could have a couple beers with.

Speaker: If you walk into a bar with him you become invisible, but that's okay, you know Yeah, I think that's what it is it has it has to do with it's all personality he just Doesn't give a fuck. Yeah but I've seen that the other day and it should have me roll because it was a guy who a guy who I

Speaker: to, uh, do edit it. And he was just sitting there going, yup. Mm -hmm. Uh, yeah. Yup. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. All right. I have literally not been on social media all week. I've been just, I've been up. I get up, ass cracking on, and I start working. And then I turn around and I'm like, fuck, it's six o 'clock already. That's what happened to me. I am.

Speaker: Well, as you and I talked the other day, uh, I, um, you know, we both, we, we both have slacked a lot on, on social media. So I was like, you know what? I'm going to, I'm going to tackle one, one social media platform at a time and started to jump on tick tock or not tick tock, uh, Twitter. And, uh, you know, started, started to get some followers on there. Nothing to brag about. I mean, but you know,

Speaker: Getting some followers, you know, talking, you know, and also, you know, talking to some other people. So, you know, venture down that and then, you know, maybe next week or whatever, I'll try to get into Instagram a little bit more. But, you know, as I said, talking to you earlier or the other day, we both have dropped the ball on social media and we need to

Speaker: we need to fucking refocus and start getting out there a little bit more. What are you doing to your camera? Oh no, I was making sure my battery was charging because when I go live, if I don't have my phone on charge, it will die mid podcast. So I turned down my screen brightness and I was making sure it was actually charging because I had bumped the, I keep a surge detector attached to my phone, my tripod.

Speaker: I have the fan plugged into that and I have the charger cable plugged into that and I wanted to make sure it was actually charging because I went from 90 to 66 % from the time we started to now. Are you charging? Yeah, I am now. I wouldn't want a new charger cable. I was going to say you wouldn't want a new charging cable. Well, it's, I think it's the actual phone. I got to go get the, I have to, they have to open it up and tighten up the,

Speaker: Yeah. Oh, so I was, I was, uh, I was, I was live, uh, tick tock earlier and a buddy of mine who lives out in Australia, Sean came in, he's a friend of mine in summers. And, uh, he's, he's basically one of those guys that my brother from another mother type deal. Um, he was friends with summer first and then him and I became friends, but, uh, uh,

Speaker: We're terrible influences on each other. But I had said something about whooping a kangaroo's ass. He was like, you are still thinking you can whoop a kangaroo's ass. I was like, I'll beat the brakes off of a fucking kangaroo. He was like, I hate to bring it to you, but that rue would whoop your ass. And I was like, that's what you fucking think. That's what I said. It's not about the fact that I mean, I have no doubt you'll get a couple of punches in. These motherfuckers lean back on their tail and kick with a force that could take down a fucking truck.

Speaker: Well, I mean, as soon as that leans back, I'll kick him in his fucking jaw. Except for the fact that they're taller than you. They're not taller than me. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you're pushing 40. You're not as fast as you think you are. Man, I will hit them with a Chuck Norris, Walker, Texas Ranger roundhouse before they even knew it down.

Speaker: My uncle, my uncle used to watch that show. And I love that show. That was my shit. Every time I could come on me, he's like, he's like, it's kick butt time. Kick butt, groundhouse kick butt. And I was like, what are you talking about? He's like, Walker, Texas Ranger time. I'm like, you're from Chicago. Calm down. The kangaroos are little. The fuck they're not. The fuckers get to be almost six, seven foot tall.

Speaker: They range anywhere from 3 to 8 feet tall and between 40 and 200 pounds. Oh, really? Yeah. 200 pounds doesn't sound like a lot on an 8 -foot fucker thing. Yeah. Yeah. But that one, you saw that TikTok, that one that looked like it spent a month in the gym. A lot of them look like that. That's how I'm out. Yeah, I'll be it. I'll be it, man. You want something to blow your mind. OK, the gorilla.

Speaker: Gorilla in I'm not fighting a gorilla. No, but actually actually actually in all honesty You know the grill is in the Congo and shit. They're big motherfuckers. They're strong, right? We don't know how strong a gorilla can get because Nobody's taught a gorilla how to lift weights and get bigger. Well, well, here's the thing I'm not gonna fight a gorilla

Speaker: I don't have to fight a gorilla because those are my distant, those are my, those are my long lost brothers. I'm built like a fucking gorilla. So, so, so, so yeah. So this is, this is the lazy gorilla that says, Hey, bring me a banana motherfucker. Get that banana out of here. I want a beer.

Speaker: So, so, so here's my little honky. Don't give me a beer. So here's my game plan. You know, I'm gonna roll up on a bear in a kangaroo with a couple of my silverback brothers and if they start to get out of control, the silverbacks are gonna jump in. Get a voice. I'm gonna take a breather and have a smoke and a beer. And I'll come back for round two.

Speaker: me and the Silverbacks are kindred spirits, man. Yeah, I am. I had a guy I had a guy that I used to work with told me he was he used to he used to tell me he's like

Speaker: you built like a **** gorilla and I'm like, what the **** is that? Because I'm I'm like on the **** ground. Yeah. Cuz cuz you know, I'm all torso. My height is all torso. I don't have very long legs. It's all torso and arms and they're like, dude, you you you silverback built **** I'll be that. I'll be that all day. ****

Speaker: Yeah. If a silverback walks up on you, you ain't fucking with them. They're like, we ain't fucking with you either. So. Well, apparently if, if a silverback comes up on you, you're supposed to get down in a fetal position. Yeah. You know, if, you know, in all honesty, if any animal runs up on me, like they're about to fuck my world up, the last thing I'm doing is getting in the fetal position. I'm not just going to lay there and, and, and let them, you know, they say.

Speaker: that you shouldn't try to outrun an animal. Well, I always say I very rarely go into the woods by myself. So I don't have to outrun said animal I have to outrun who how often how often do you go into the woods period is the question? Well anymore none. But yeah, okay. Congo. And in that scenario, I don't have to outrun the gorilla. I don't run your fat ass.

Speaker: Okay. Well, first of all, because I'm a smoker. Let me like a cigarette. Then we're going to run. Okay. Let me tie your shoes together. I'm out for whatever. I don't wear shoes. I wear boots. So good luck trying to tie them together. Look, where's your laces? Why are you trying to tie my shoes together? It's a fucking gorilla. First of all,

Speaker: If you and I are ever in the Congo together, we've got a lot more issues in probably. Jeff, why are we in the Congo? How much do we drink last night? I watched that movie, Congo, the other day. And I was like, fuck. Them girls are so far around. But realistically, back home, when we was in the woods, the biggest animal, the biggest threat in Ohio

Speaker: was a deer, which I have a story about a guy. I met I met said guy. He went out walking in the woods. He was looking for mushrooms, right? And the only thing he had on him was a a like a buck knife, you know, wanting to keep on your hip, right? Yeah. And he's walking through the woods. And

Speaker: a deer got spooked. And it's like, you know, it's 15 pound or 15 point buck, you know, nothing crazy. But it rammed its antlers. It's huge. Yeah, it's nothing. No, it's not like a six point. It's not like a hundred year old deer or some shit. But decent size. It rammed him with its horns and they got stuck in dudes ribs.

Speaker: And they found dude three days later, the deer dead because dude took his knife and stabbed at his neck until it died. Yeah. And he couldn't get up because the antlers were still stuck in his ribs. And he lived. He lived to tell us about it. He was telling us about it at the bar one day over beers. And we were like, damn, I'm gonna buy you a beer. Yeah.

Speaker: we uh I was gonna say not not that it's even remotely close to that but growing up my buddy that lived down the road from me he had a big old fucking horse dog I don't remember what it was but the dog's name was Tyson and uh something similar to happen like that happened to him that he you know growing up where we grew up our dogs just generally ran around you know weren't on leashes and stuff my dog ever saw a leash yeah so

Speaker: But Tyson was out in the woods, and I don't know what happened. None of us really know what happens. But obviously, he spooked a buck, and the buck gored him, so to say. But Tyson killed that buck and drug him out of the fucking woods. And damn near died from his wounds and everything. But it was like, yeah, from that day on, it was like, yeah, we don't fuck with Tyson.

Speaker: I don't know what kind of dog you was. I can't remember. He was a big old fucking horse. Great big old monster. Yeah, he's the big old monster. He was a mutt. My parents. My parents. I don't know what it is about my family. We all have bad backs. Yeah, I've been lucky so far. But my parents used to go to a chiropractor and my dad and the chiropractor would go fishing all the fucking time. The chiropractor was stupid rich. And one day he invited us over to the house.

Speaker: for something like him and dad had caught a bunch of fish and they were going to eat it. So we went over there and he and my younger brother and I were like, uh, mind if we watch TV and he's like, yeah, sure. Go ahead. Just go downstairs. Don't bother the dog. And we're like, yeah, we're not worried about a dog. We got dogs. Get down there. He's got a horse as a dog. It's the biggest great game I've ever seen. It's not sitting on a bed. It's sitting on a love seat and it takes up the entire thing.

Speaker: Yeah. Like a lazy boy style love seat. Huge. And you couldn't see the love seat. And we came upstairs and I was like, dude, you keep a horse in your basement. You have a fucking horse in your basement, buddy. I was like, I think you left the barn door open. But it was bad. Big gray fucking great Dane that made Scooby Doo look like a fucking puppy.

Speaker: you know, like, yeah, summer was like that. Yeah, summer, summer was great day, once a great day. I went to high school with the guy. He actually went to the Christian, I think he was in horticulture. We graduated a year after we did. His family had great days. They're awesome dogs. Well, my biggest thing is, I have four middle medium sized dogs. And my biggest problem is, is

Speaker: even with four medium sized dogs, it's a ton of shit. Well, yeah, like every week I have to break and scoop shit. And I can't imagine having more than one Great Dane. You would do they come with a snow shovel or do you got to buy your own snow shovel? Yeah, buy your own. I was like, I mean, and the price of them. Holy fuck. And my dogs go through ton of food.

Speaker: I buy 25 kilo bags. So, uh, was like 50 pound bags of food and they last like a week and a half. Yeah. Well, as you and I have discussed, I mean, I want, I want big dogs when, you know, I want the, uh, uh, uh, Tibetan mastiffs. Yeah. That are essentially grizzly bears. You don't, you don't need a snow shovel. You need a backhoe.

Speaker: Well, it's funny because Summer wants a great day and I went to Benton Mastiff. The girls want pit bulls. I don't know what the boys want. So I mean, when we have a house, yeah, when we have a house, it's one of those things like, we really don't need to have guns around this place because we got fucking

Speaker: We got literal monsters just roaming the property. Even though pit bulls don't get very big. It's called a Neapolitan Mastiff.

Speaker: Probably that's this it's this guy his wife their horse and their Neapolitan mastiff. That's the size of the fucking horse Now the guy's got to be like six foot and the wife is is like five nine five ten something like that And the dog's back comes up to dude shoulders

Speaker: Yeah. I think, I think the Tibetan masters are one of the, maybe might be one of the biggest master breeds. So yeah, I mean, like, you know, pit bulls aren't very big dogs. They're strong and powerful and whatnot, but they're not very big because could you, could you imagine coming onto a property that you're not supposed to be on or breaking into a house and you're met by a pit bull and you're like, eh, whatever it's a pit bull, you know, and then there's a great Dane and it's like, oh, Scooby's here. And then there's two fucking grizzly bears. It goes like, what the fuck?

Speaker: it was at this point that he knew he fucked up. This is like the three stage like the three stages of uh it's goalie locks and the three bears kind of thing. What was that? It's an old scene anymore. It's like Russian nesting doll of dogs.

Speaker: It wasn't didn't didn't Hercules have to go through like this There's like three or four tests that Hercules had to go through in order to prove himself or some shit like that It is kind of like with the dog. I wasn't Yeah, I know something like that because he goes he goes up against a Hydra and a hydrating two more growing its place and stuff like that

Speaker: I know he fought a Hydra at one point, and he fought. I think the Hydra was the final battle kind of thing because they're Yeah, it was like a Hydra and then there was a lion or something like that because he killed a lion and wore its skin. Yeah, a lion like pussy, get something bigger, you know, yeah. Now, yeah. That's, that's, that's what I mean, I don't

Speaker: something doesn't actually exist. I got it. You're going to knock on your door and be like over the door. Hello. I'm the Kraken and I heard you wanted to fight me. Oh, you got this. Nope. No, that was that was that was that was totally I said I would I would whip the shit out of a fucking bunny rabbit. That's about it.

Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. Until the crack is going to be like, let me, let me, let me replay episode 38 at the one hour mark where Jeff said, Jeff said he would beat the brakes off of your cracking ass. You just wake up from the dream. Cause it's a mystical creature.

Speaker: the crack would be like, I'm going to be the crack is the crack going to be like, I'm going to beat your ass as soon as these rape snakes get done having their way with you.

Speaker: Yeah, the mermaids that were hot, even though in the mythology of mermaids, they sing their siren song to lead you to your death. And you would be that jackass to be like, you'd be like, bro, they're hot. She was 12. Calm down, Jared from subway. Yes. Oh, fuck.

Speaker: All Disney movies are on the, all Disney movies are on the pedophile side. Pocahontas was like 12. No, she was, she was 14 because I know that because I literally looked up the story on Google just to fuck. Well, that makes it better. I love this movie. And I was like, Oh, let me ruin your childhood real quick.

Speaker: Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead and go ahead and look that up on like YouTube or something like that. Let me ruin your childhood Disney edition. And they will. They will fuck you up with like Ariel's like 12 or 13. And what's his nuts was like 30. You know, unless we forget that. Yeah, I mean, well, the what throws you off is is at the end of the movie, they get married. Mm hmm.

Speaker: And then Sleeping Beauty, fucking Prince Charming basically raped her. He didn't have her consent. That's just the wokeness. That's taking wokeness too far because she's a cartoon. Yeah.

Speaker: And on that note with the Disney being a bunch of weird pedophiles, let's take a real quick break. We'll be right back. I got a special surprise for you guys right here. This is the one and only friend of the show, former guest.

Speaker: Rock Lee. Now, you guys heard him sing on the show. Now, this is one of his remakes. It's one of my favorite songs. And I absolutely love this remake. Facebook is going to mute us. Chris Jericho is going to come and fight me, which would be awesome. How cool would that be? That would be a story. Chris Jericho kicked my ass. Yes, the wrestler Chris Jericho. Yeah. As long as Chris Jericho drinks a beer with me after he whips my ass and it's all good.

Speaker: He's one of my favorites. So he's also a rock star. He has his own band and uh, Rock Lee remixed one of their biggest songs. Also Jericho's entrance music right now. So we're going to take a real quick break. I'm going to shut cameras, Jeff's cameras off camera off because all we can see is his old ass was 14. Yeah. Well, that's a true story too. So. And soon became pregnant. Good Lord.

Speaker: the lord but we'll be right back in about three or four minutes basically long enough to go take a piss and grab some more beers and beers and i'll be right back i'll be right back we'll be right back jeff's cameras off cameras off

Speaker: Everyone I've ever loved pushed them all away And I have been afraid to let you exist in my mind Is there something left for me to save in the wreckage of my life, my life?

Speaker: What have I become now that I've been trained?

Speaker: And we are back. Yeah. A little fuzzy with Judas remixed by the one and only Rock Lee from EDM combat. Like I said, friend of the show, my brother from another mother of a different color and former guest.

Speaker: And like I said, Fozzie with lead singer Chris Jericho. Most people know him as a wrestler. If you don't know him as a musician, go check out Fozzie because they are a killer fucking band. And that just lets me support Rocky and get him out there as well. So go check out, go check out Rock Lee on social media. You can find him at Rock Lee or EDM combat. Check out his music. Tell him Glick sent you.

Speaker: he'll he'll he'll know what's up unlike black dot mojo who will just look confused but but much like black top mojo uh rocky's a great guy and uh i i really do uh enjoy support and supporting them and getting them out there for everybody so hopefully you guys enjoyed that that uh little edm remake i love that fucking song and i love what rocky did to it but uh welcome back to nonsensical nonsense you guys his uh a lot of rockets uh music is

Speaker: really well done when he remakes it. Yeah, he does a really good job. But like I said, welcome back to nonsensical nonsense. We took a little break. If you're not already, go give us a follow on social media at nonsensical nonsense. We're everywhere. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, Twitch. Also check out every episode on Spotify, Google, Apple, and anywhere you get your podcast fixings.

Speaker: Also, we are looking to get into the interview game. So if you, uh, actor, musician, comedian, gamer, uh, podcast host, whatever, and you want to reach out to us, uh, go ahead and hit us up on email. Also, if you're looking to sponsor a podcast, go ahead and hit us up on our, on our email at, uh, what's our email, Jeff? Nonsensical nonsense podcast at gmail .com. Look at that. Wow. He kind of, he kind of there in the middle of it, but he pulled it out.

Speaker: You pulled it out. I'm like, with your wife, you pulled out. Pull out games week with us. You got two. I got three. I got four total, but three that I made. I got three. I got four total, but I got three that I made.

Speaker: Speaking of children, I was actually, while that, while our break was going on, I was literally going over the story of Pocahontas. She was between the ages of nine and 10 when John Smith showed up. And Mary, I know I seen, I was, I was watching your camera there. I was like, and you were, well, yeah, you were over there being awful intense, awful.

Speaker: You were, you were locked in, man. I really wish, speaking of, speaking of having a lot of kids. What's up, Pat? Ooh, that went through my nose. Good Lord. I really wish Summer was here tonight. I was gonna, I was gonna see if she wanted to come on because she had quite the experience on social media the other day with some psychopath.

Speaker: Okay This is because like I said, I've had no form of entertainment except for like the the 20 minutes before I go to bed at night because Like like I said last night my wife was watching that money heist and I think I got 20 minutes into the final episode I was like, okay Let me see our shoes

Speaker: Um, yeah, I don't know that she, I'm currently being ignored. I was going to see, let me see if I can get her to, uh, jump on. Come on. Yeah. Well, I don't, I don't want to go ahead and rant about this Pocahontas thing. Uh, because it's in my head, but apparently all the shit that John Smith said that he did, he was 27 when he showed up, by the way.

Speaker: Reapie, she was nine or ten. And, uh, married her at fourteen. Technically kidnapped her. Um, and, uh, but apparently all the shit he said she did, like, all he sa - she saved my life and all this stuff. Never happened. I was kinda like that. Well, supposedly he was, he was, uh, gonna be sacrificed or some shit.

Speaker: And as a young child, she was not, even though she's part of the tribe, she was not allowed to be at those ceremonies. A, she was female. B, she was a child. So there was no way she could have thrown herself in between the, the sacrifices and the sacrifice. According to the article I was reading, I was like, but, but the fact that dude was 27,

Speaker: when she was nine or 10, he's like, hey, how you doing? Kind of, that's really creepy. But apparently, it was the norm back then to like, as explorers, as John Smith supposedly was, that they would constantly rape the natives to the point where the women of the tribe would literally be like, look, instead of doing my child, just do me.

Speaker: to save the children. Well, well, that was, that was, that's nothing that's not known. I mean, yeah. That's, that's one of those things that has been very, very, very much documented, you know, with the rape and the missing. To get to that story, there was like four or five above it.

Speaker: But apparently, she was a looker. OK, first of all, don't, don't, no, no, no, no, no, no. In her time, but there's a drawing over. She doesn't look. No, stop, stop, stop. Hold on, can you see that? That's the drawing over. That doesn't look like a woman where you'd be like, oh, yeah, that's hot. Jeff, Jeff. She literally looks like a 10 -year -old.

Speaker: Jeff, Jeff, there's things that you shouldn't, should not say. And you literally just said that like a 10 year old was a looker. No, what I'm saying in the article, it says, apparently she was the best looking girl in the tribe. This is the most that you ever read for this podcast. Oh, speaking of articles. Hey, way to go, bud. You did it again. You're an asshole. I forgot. But you know, but you know, but you know who didn't forget. We know who didn't forget and who did the homework and did what he needed to do. Hey, Ali.

Speaker: that's who did it. Not Ali. Ali. Ali didn't do it. I did it. So, I'm going to pull the e -brake on your weird pedophile Indian. I'm pretty much done with Pocahontas. Indian thing. What are you drinking? Coke? Where's your beer? I have Coke and I have beer because I have no, I don't want to get too drunk. Oh, I heard his that you're a pussy. So,

Speaker: Uh, okay. And if you were what you eat, then you would be a cock. Do you ever have that in common? You're both like that monkey in the zoo. I fucking love that video. Have you heard the, have you seen the dubbed one or somebody's like, what are you doing? What are you doing? Give me that.

Speaker: I'm like, man, get that thing away. I don't want that thing. Get the hell go. Totally, totally, totally off subject and and and and totally what the **** are these guys talking about? And to pull the e -brake on your your weird pedophile. Yeah, whatever.

Speaker: It's not bleeding. Maybe if you weren't jumping on the bed, you wouldn't have fallen. Have you thought of that? Yeah. Then how did you fall? I don't know. You don't know. But so you know, we're we're we're both old enough. You know, we we grew up watching The Simpsons.

Speaker: Uh, I've seen some episodes. I've never been a huge fan, but I, I've, I, I know some of the characters mostly. You've never been, you've never been a big fan of Simpsons. I was when I was younger. I think I used to watch it. Uh, when I was young, young, like when it first came out in the early late eighties and in early nineties, but as I grew up, I was like, eh, but I'm a, I love family guys.

Speaker: So, you know, yeah. So, um, okay. Sorry. I'm distracted here now. I'm trying to figure something out because, uh, well, we had, we had a, we, I got a fantasy football league and we had our draft last night. Yeah. You should have just done it. I thought about it. I was like,

Speaker: so so so so we had we had our draft last night and now they're talking like like today they're like so how'd your draft go blah blah blah yada yada yada and i'm like we were all there last night what are you guys talking about well what had happened was what had happened what had happened was um

Speaker: We had our, I had set up a league, a league on a different app and our 10th guy was dragging his feet and didn't show up. Oh, so it completely, it completely fucked us. And no, no, no, it, holy shit. Oh, wow.

Speaker: So it, it auto drafted it because I just opened the league for a 10 player. So it auto drafted it and everybody was like, whoa, you know, so how did your, how did your draft go? Blah, blah, blah. These guys talking about.

Speaker: and apparently it auto drafted so um now they're all like they're talking about it and i'm the odd man out like a jackass but uh i just happen to look at my roster and i'm like hey okay okay okay not bad not bad not bad i'm down with that i think the problem of like if i were to join the draft i would literally message you who the fuck should i pick i don't know you know

Speaker: Well, that's fine because dude we got so in our in our in our league. It's you know, there's my buddy Kevin who I who I've been friends with for years. His wife is in it. She doesn't know anything about football. She doesn't like football. She doesn't watch football. She was in the fantasy League last year and she actually did. She was the only person who beat me in our league last year. And then their neighbors, which is this is a this is a weird dynamic, so.

Speaker: Uh, Kevin and TJ, we've known each other for 18, 19 years now, something like that. Uh, their neighbors used to be married and then they got our divorce while the ex -wife lives on the right side of, or the left side of them. And then the husband bought the house on the left side of them. So they're in between.

Speaker: the X, Y, but they, you know, they, the X has the X. They obviously get along.

Speaker: Yeah, they get along. They get along everything like that. So he joined our league this year. She's a football guy. His ex wife joined our league and then Cameron's fiance or girlfriend or whatever she is. I don't I don't know. So it's not like I'm not being a smartass or being an asshole. I just don't know if they're engaged or not yet. She joined our league and Cameron drafted for her last night. So Cameron and I were actually we were actually talking on on Xbox party and I was helping Cameron draft not only his not only his.

Speaker: uh team but her team and then I was drafted my team as well. So um it's just for shits and grins. I mean there's no money or anything like that. It's just something that we could do to talk shit about. That's why I invited you. You don't have to know anything about it. Hell, I would have fucking helped you draft your fucking team too.

Speaker: But, um, and I wouldn't have lied to you because, because I told Cameron, I was like, don't, don't draft Sam a shitty ass team just because she don't know anything about it. I said, actually draft for her. Let's, you know, so she can actually, actually make it worse, worse than wild. So, but apparently the original league I set up had an auto draft last week and I want to tell you, but, but go ahead. Yeah. So apparently the original league that I, that I set up had a,

Speaker: Um I had an auto draft last night. I don't know. I haven't even really I just I just looked at my roster and was like, okay, I am at it. My roster. But um So what I was going into before I got distracted squirrel ADHD over here. Yeah. Um so you know, growing up, you know, the Simpsons, the Simpsons have been around for

Speaker: Yeah, 30 some odd years something like that. We all we all know. We all know the since the Bart Simpson like his biggest longest running prank that he's ever pulled. Where he calls. Mose Mose is like I I'm looking for see more bucks and there's like I need to see more see more but I need to see more but yeah, I get that yeah.

Speaker: Yeah, exactly. So, in Virginia, the other day, last week, I think it was, there was a school board meeting and somebody pulled that off. Where the fuck is it at? Okay, so this is apparently gonna,

Speaker: fuck me up. So there was a school board meeting and things got, you know, obviously, uh, anybody who wants to talk or this, that, and the other thing, they want to bring up points and yeah, they have to submit their names and, and, and whatnot. So somebody had gotten ahold of the list. Somebody had gotten ahold of the list and, and submitted a bunch of names. I'm pretty girl.

Speaker: And yes, and if I can get it to work for me, come on. Come on. I have the video, but it's not going to fucking work. Oh, my God. It was on the news, too. Well, no, somebody did it on the news when there was a plane crash in Japan or something. And like and the name is a pirate or something long. Yeah, this is not good. It's like we going down.

Speaker: And I was like, nice. So I got the video here. I thought it uploaded earlier. It did not. But now it is uploaded. OK. Hopefully I can find it. OK. Where is it at? So I want to play the video. And it's funny as hell because this dude is reading it and he's super serious. So he has no fucking show you feel.

Speaker: You know, you don't like it. You're the one that told me to do it. It'll grow back. You know, my hair grows back. So so here's the video that goes along with this Virginia school board and this this guy, you know, and he's very monotone. He's that typical, you know,

Speaker: So, and today's meeting, we're going to discuss, yeah, we're going to discuss. Mueller. Mueller. Yeah. So, and he has, and at one point he even, he, he, you're on the phone. What are you on the phone doing? So, here's, here's the video. Thomas, we do appreciate you. Phil McCracken.

Speaker: Phil McCracken. Salk, Suke, Mahiddick. Ophilia Michalk. Ophilia Michalk. Eileen Dover.

Speaker: Eileen Dohler. Don Keating. Don Keating. Wayne Kerr. Wayne Kerr. Tasha Tunstall.

Speaker: Tasha Tunstall. Melissa Dart. Melissa Dart. Aaron Sorkin. Aaron Sorkin. Aaron Sorkin.

Speaker: I want to thank you, Ms. Thomas, for your remarks, for being our only speaker. Eric Sorkin is a playwright, right? Something like that.

Speaker: The fucker is so goddamn oblivious to everything.

Speaker: I see that I heard that uh earlier and I was like that is so up our alley with our immature stupid asses and I if we would have done something like that we've been in the back going yeah and he like does the whole list

Speaker: Phil McCracken. How are you not catching on to this? I mean, you can't really do obvious ones like see more butts, you know, but that's hilarious. Some of those were pretty damn obvious. Yeah, someone was pretty obvious. I had to think about it for a second. I had to say it to myself.

Speaker: Yeah. So yeah. So like I said, you know, for this, for this school board meeting and whatnot, you have to, if you want to speak, you have to sign up on the list and then they call you out and you know, once they call your name, then you come up and speak. They call your name a couple of times. Obviously, nobody's answering to, to suk me dick. Yeah. Or, or donkey dick.

Speaker: You brought up divorce earlier. Hey, one second. Go upstairs. I don't want that shit. I saw a thing on... Oh my god. They just don't... No respect for the podcast!

Speaker: So this husband wife got divorced. So this husband wife got divorced. So this husband wife got divorced. So this husband wife got divorced.

Speaker: you know, he was a very rich guy and it was stated in their marriage, what's the prenup? That if they ever get divorced, he has to build her a house exactly like the one that they lived in. And he was like, trying to get out of it and he really didn't want to be married to her and like hated or whatever, blah, blah, blah, blah. So it never specified where the house had to be built.

Speaker: So he built it in the middle of a swamp. That's awesome. Fuck you, bitch. But it was built like the cheapest way possible because it was the middle of a swamp and she wasn't gonna fucking live there. So he's like, it's built. You know, I was like, nice. There's a whole bunch of stuff like that. But that's the one that stuck out on me. I was like, damn, that's cold and hard. And it supposedly the house had to be pink and somebody they showed a picture of the house.

Speaker: on the video and it was, it was a pink house and it wasn't like, it wasn't like big house. It was like a, like a little farmhouse kind of thing, but it was a pink house in the middle of this fucking swamp. It was hilarious. But apparently, uh, you could buy said house for like $3. What? Yeah, because he built it because it was part of the divorce and it was, it came out of her divorce settlement. The money came out of her divorce settlement. So,

Speaker: And she was like, fuck that. I don't want it. He says, well, I've the lawyers are like, well, he fulfilled his obligation. He built you the house. You never specified where so. Yeah. You just said she just fucking keep it. So he kept it. And he's like, he'd been he was sitting on it for like 10 years and it went up on market. He's like, I just want to get rid of it. Somebody give me three bucks for it. Nobody wants to buy it. Well, I mean,

Speaker: It's like a four bedroom uh farmhouse kind of deal. Oh, nice. It's the middle of a swamp. It's in the middle of a swamp. **** I'm going to live in a swamp. You know, I got Charlie just like just like that old school boat. I'm ready to go, son. Mm hmm. Just like that old Charlie Daniel Swamp. Uh I saw Legend of Woolley Swamp.

Speaker: I'll be fighting gators every day. I'll punch a gator in the face. I think it was swamp land. So I think in like, I think the, it was said in the video within like 50 years, the house won't be there anyways. Cause it's just slowly sinking. I was like, well, I'm not going to live for 50 more years. I mean, I might get dirt in my living room, but I'll live there until I die for $3. Yeah. Right.

Speaker: there's a lot. Well, you know, you just electricity. There's no plumbing. It's just basically a framed in dry walled house. I mean, everything's there but it's not connected to anything. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, the pipes are there but there's no uh well, there's no electricity. The wiring's there but there's no uh junction box to the city or

Speaker: Oh yeah, that's all another story. I'll buy it with three dollars and throw a party and then we'll leave the house with leaving it on fire. Hell yeah, in the middle of a swap, you know what you do with that? You sit there and throw a big ass fuck off party. Once a year. Well, once a year because this is the kind of guy that I am and I know you don't really traverse down this road. But once a year you throw a fucking Halloween party. Your house is in the middle of a fucking swap.

Speaker: you have the best Halloween party costume party it up every fucking year and you you decorate it up real good you you bring in you get some of it yeah you get some of like the coolest skirt

Speaker: Well, I mean, I don't know about it, but you're bringing some of the coolest, scariest decorations, and you just have a Halloween party. Because how cool would that be? Every year on Halloween, you're in the middle of a swamp. The best thing that could happen, it would storm that night, and you're just having a Halloween party. That is the beginning. You don't have to worry about the cops showing up to shut down second party, because it's the middle of a fucking trap.

Speaker: That's just like, that is the beginning to almost every scary movie on the planet. Yeah, I was going to say that literally just sounds like, I think I've seen this movie. So that would be so cool.

Speaker: Dude, that's funny. I just recently started watching the scary movies, the parody movies. And in the first one, I love those movies. So in the first one, where they had all the news crews after Carmen Electra gets killed. Yeah. Well, they had the Black Entertainment News was there. And they were like, we're getting the fuck out of here. You know what I mean? We're getting the fuck out of here. Get this goddamn man.

Speaker: Dude's not even gotten out of the path to see the van. He's got the door open and closed. Why'd you order that? We're getting the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here. And the van's like purple. I'll get it out. Hell yeah. I love those goddamn movies. The Waynes family.

Speaker: There's another movie and I found this out on TikTok. There's another movie that came out the same year. It's basically the exact same movie and it's called. It's not called scream. It's not. It's called like screech or something like that, but it's basically another parody along the lines of scary. You know, I think I think I've seen that. I think I've seen that because they did. They did a couple other parody movies like they did a superhero movie.

Speaker: it was parody of superheroes and then they did like a parody of the um uh well it's called it's called uh I I it's it's it's a mix of like like they did the I know what you did last Halloween you know it so it says that but it doesn't it's not anybody from it's not Anna Faris it's not anybody from the Wayans family it's a completely

Speaker: I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker: He's like, do we have a problem? Do we have a problem? And it's moving back and forth. I do. I love those. The Wayne brothers, the Wayne's brothers movies. Um, they, they do such a good job and they're all fucking hilarious as it is. I don't know about you, but my introduction to the Wayne's brothers was, um,

Speaker: uh and my introduction to jaded pinkett smith was low down dirty shame oh my introduction to the wane wanes was uh in living color i'm not counting that i'm talking about movies but yeah marlin marlin wane is one of the funniest out of his facial expressions his body movements the dude is is stupid funny

Speaker: well did you see his brother did that that new one there's a netflix he's done a couple netflix shows netflix movies and one of the ones he did it's called that's marlin yeah marlin that's marlin he does naked did you see that movie where it's kind of like wedding and he keeps waking up in an elevator naked

Speaker: I haven't seen it. I think I don't think I have but he did do it. He did do a Netflix television or he did have a television show where he was like doing the divorce dad co -parenting. He played a he played a successful YouTuber. Yeah. And that show was genius and it got cancelled off. Yeah, that show is really good. He's got a he's got a new stand up on

Speaker: on HBO Max that I want to watch. What do you mean? Why didn't I shave my head? You dared me to shave my head. Hey, pretty. Well, first of all, hey, pretty girl. Welcome to the podcast. But you dared me to shave my head. You legitimately in the TikTok said that, yeah, you dared me to do it. Now I do it. And Rocky says, welcome to the club. He said it looks good. I still see you.

Speaker: once once I uh once I get a little sun on your penis in the witness protection program. This uh this sounds like a penis that's been with the Kardashian. That might have been one of the funniest things you've ever said. That literally just popped my head because my son is watching rewatching

Speaker: it's your turn. No, not going to happen. Jeff won't shave his head. He he is. He is a very I shave my head once. I have a weird shaped head. I have a do you see my head? No, I I I I I kind of I have a weird shaped head and I have huge ears. No, no, I might as well. Hey, I said might as well for a couple years. You might as well shave your head. Look at that hairline.

Speaker: I know, right? I got that fucking hair. That fucking hairline is about to. Yeah, no, OK. God, look at that five hit. I know about to get in trouble. I think, OK, I'm not going to say that. I mean, OK, I'm not going to look at it as for the movie on it. You're.

Speaker: Oh, Jesus. I can't get it **** out. No. Your your hairline is about to make an appearance in the solo asylum video for Runaway Train. You remember that video where they had all the missing children and **** I literally I've literally seen that video like nine times this month. I've been on a I've been on a

Speaker: whole 80s and 90s alt -rock kick Silver said my head needs a condom on it Well, well just think just think when you come up for my for my birthdays when I'm down there It's gonna look like a giant penis eating at the buffet

Speaker: What the hell did you do? Oh wait, that's your head. Did you get some growth hormones? It is so much bigger than I really did. That's the top of your head. Never mind.

Speaker: Oh my god. Wow. Summer's the only time I'll ever need a magnum. I'll go buy a magnum. I'll put it on. I'll put a magnum on. I'll look like a little kid wearing his dad's. You look like one of those precious moments doll. From Hallmark. Yeah, you like that? I told you I could fit into a magnum. Double XL.

Speaker: Got my balls and everything in there. Nice and compact. Break all new meaning, ya balls dean. Oh, why the fuck up? She said my penis is going to get jealous of my bald head. It's OK, little buddy. Don't be jealous.

Speaker: You're still the one to get this win. Yeah. Yeah. You know, speaking of talking to your penis, I seen today that Rodney Carrington, uh, is coming to, uh, Columbus, uh, my birthday weekend. So I think I'm going to try to, uh, I think I want to try to get me in summer tickets so we can go for a little date night. Dude, did you see his, uh, he did a, he did a standup special right at, not long after he got divorced and it was hard to watch.

Speaker: Oh, really? Hey, he's gained like forty five fucking pounds because nobody's going to stop it from eating cake for dinner, which is what he says. But he's sitting there talking about his divorce and it just looks like the motherfucker's sad. You're just like, oh, I love I love Rodney. Rodney Carrington is one of my one of my favorite. I, you know, I'm a huge player playlist of all his songs. Yeah. I'm a huge fan of the comedians.

Speaker: who uh who sing like uh Rodney Carrington, Steven Lynch are two of my favorites. Um I like Bo Durham to a certain degree. Sometimes he tries a little bit too hard. But um show them to me video that cracks me up. Rodney Carrington show them to me. Yeah. Are you talking

Speaker: I know what it is. Seems to be a lot of hating in this world. I like, uh, I like, uh, there's a lot of songs I like about him, but Dear Penis is funny as hell. Dear Rodney. All you do is stare at the floor. Oh dear penis.

Speaker: I don't like you anymore. Then he sings. Here, right now. I don't think I like you anymore. When you get drinking, the places I've never been before. I'm sure you have, just because you watch everything. Did you see that movie he did with Toby Key, Beer for My Horses? I loved it. Loved it. Loved it.

Speaker: I think I have it on. He's in the bathroom. He's in the bathroom taking a piss. Oh my god. He starts singing. He's like, this thing didn't have a hold of you. I didn't look like a football or something like that. And then he starts singing. He's like, don't you make me want to shout. They got friendly people here, Rock. Yeah, right. I don't know about you, but I want that truck from that movie. I'm not a big four.

Speaker: Absolutely. Yeah, that truck was nice. Yeah, but. Toby comes home after a shift and his wife, his girlfriend's leaving him. She's like, we sat here. I dressed up like that girl you like from the truck stop. And all you did was sit down and watch coal miners daughter. And he's like, I like coal miners daughter.

Speaker: He's leaving him and she's complaining about the shit he does. He's like, well, I like coal miners. I like coal miners. Well, Rodney hearing has got a video with Toby Keith in it where his wife's screwing around and cheating and she like goes out with Toby. Yeah. Yeah. Well, funnily enough, uh,

Speaker: When I first met my wife, the first time she got in my car and I drove her home, I was on a huge Toby Keith kick. And the song, Who's Your Daddy? I had just discovered it. So, again, she gets in the car and I'm like, you like country? And I'm cranking up. And she looked at me like, oh fuck, I got in the wrong car.

Speaker: But ever since then, every time that song comes along, she's like, this is the song we first met too. And my kid's like, really? I'm like, yeah, it works, boy. Start learning some country songs. That should have been her first indication to run. If you were like, hey girl, you like country music? But she got in the car and I was like, you like country?

Speaker: But I said it like that. Of course, I said it as a joke. And I was like, yeah, country. Yeah. Cranked it up. I love it. Oh, speaking of girlfriends and whatnot. Mm hmm. We were talking last week because you love you love that Wicked Woman song. Oh, my God. Love that song. And I told you that she was dating one of the guys in the band. Uh huh.

Speaker: She reached out and asked about me, right? Oh, really? Good on him. No, that's Kat's girlfriend. Oh, I thought she reached out and asked about me. Damn. No, trust me. No, trust me. Nobody's doing that. No, you know what? She looks badass in that video, especially when her eyes go red and shit. That looks cool as fuck. And good on Kat. No, I just was like, wait a minute.

Speaker: We were we were talking about that and. You're glitching. Cat had posted video. Or a picture of all together, and I was like, I think it's a trick from the from the video. So I had to call through his feet a little bit and I was like, yeah, it is. That's what I thought. OK.

Speaker: Yeah, she's she's a good looking chick. She's going to kick your ass. That's all right. As long as he buys me a beer afterwards. Just saying. You know who a singer that I think is actually really good looking and you're probably make fun of me for it, but Iggy Azalea. That chick's bad ass.

Speaker: Okay, let's, let's start a list of chicks that you don't think are hot. That would be much shorter than the list of chicks that you think are hot. Yes, probably. Well, actually, I won't disagree with you. No, but she, she came out of that song. It's a, it's called, uh, uh, what's it called a Dom Rich or something.

Speaker: I have no idea, dude. I'm not that big. Oh, my God. I'll be like a badass. What's it called? It's called it, right? Look at that. She's gorgeous, dude. Oh, that's me fucking around with shit. Now I'm rich. It's called started.

Speaker: Isn't that, isn't that like one of her first, um, got a bag and I'm looking back. I got my bag and I ain't looking back. Isn't that one of, isn't that like her first big hit single or whatever where she, uh, like did the whole clueless thing? Yeah, she did fancy. Oh, that was fancy. Yeah. I don't know. Which was funny because I don't know if you've seen it, but have you seen that show lipstick battle?

Speaker: hosted by LL Cool J? Yeah, Alicia Silverstone did that. Yeah, she did the fancy song dressed like that. Alicia. Alicia. Is that Alicia? She said it on Instagram too. Whatever it is. People say it long, long time. Alicia. OK, first of all, first of all, I'm not going to take pronunciation advice from you. Second of all,

Speaker: she's on uh she's on tiktok yeah i follow her because she's got the greatest legs well at least she did in the 90s anyways the greatest legs i've ever seen yeah um i i was about to there's uh

Speaker: I don't, I don't know any, I mean, like if I hear it, I know that it's Iggy Azalea, but she's on a TI song that I really like. Nah, I just, I like TI as a rapper, but I like that song. It's a, it's pretty badass song. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, come on, upload already. I'm over here. Dude, I'm getting so good at this computer.

Speaker: can this computer technology shit? Is that it? I can be. Yeah. Yeah. What's the name of the song? No. Okay. Jesus Christ. You're looking at this fucking Spanish bullshit. It's in Spanish. No, the song's not in Spanish. I don't want no mediocre hoe.

Speaker: called No Mediocre. Yeah. No Mediocre. Mediocre is the name of the song. I just like, I don't, I don't, I just like the beat and whatnot and everything like that. It gets me, it gets me, you know, like, yeah. Well, Jesus Christ, I've had a song stuck in my head

Speaker: since since yesterday i can actually download it and play it on the break i just i just i just downloaded a song i just downloaded a video right now while we were talking um you know what you know what song has been stuck in my fucking head and i don't know why because i hadn't heard it recently it just popped up in my head um that happens all the time

Speaker: since yesterday, and I've listened to it probably four or five times today, and it's still stuck in my fucking head. What is it? That goddamn kiss I was made for loving you or whatever. Yeah. I was made for loving you, baby. You know what? Speaking of songs popping in your head. That's one of those songs that man. Yeah, but I want to talk about obscure song to pop in your head.

Speaker: Now, you may not know the song, and I did not know the song. I literally had to call my friend, my buddy Frank, who lives in Canada, who speaks French, because it's a French song. But I remember Pepe Le Pew walk around singing this song. And I had it stuck in my head, and I wanted to hear that version. And I still haven't found that version. But it's this. I fucking stuck in my goddamn head. And I literally...

Speaker: I, I Google assisted it to find it. And of course, I'm not saying it correctly. Cause I don't speak fucking French. So it was like, pussy. You don't speak pussy. It's like, cause the French are pussies. Do you mean you want to get a baguette? I'm like, no motherfucker. I want this song. So I, I literally sang what I knew to my buddy Frank on, on a message. I was like, Hey, what's this song? And he sent me the title.

Speaker: and I put it into YouTube and I still haven't found the Pepe Le Pue version. But it's popped up. Suck it, Jeff. Rocky says I pull off the bald head. Pulls off a dick. Says it looks good. Rocky says it looks good. Rocky says you rock that shit, Glick. Rock that bald ass motherfucker, yeah.

Speaker: That popped in my head and I walked in the gate I was walking in the gate and all of a sudden I started whistling and I started whistling a song from a movie. I haven't seen In like 23 25 maybe 28 years I Started whistling if I only had a brain from the Wizard of all That's a good song that's a good song for you to sing I

Speaker: Yeah. Well, exactly. But every once in a while, I'll just start whistling to clear my head because especially when I'm building something, my head gets so jam -packed with numbers and measurements and how am I going to do this? What do I do to do this? I literally will. Well, I'm like, fuck it. I'm going to go for cigarettes. I'm going to go for Coke or I'm going to go for something. Get out of my head. And I came back and I was all in a good mood and I was like. And I started whistling the,

Speaker: And I started whistling the whole way back to the house. And my kids like, what are you whistling? I'm like, I got a song stuck in my head. And I grabbed the PlayStation control and I'm bringing up YouTube. And I was like, if I only had a brain. And then I listened to it. If I only had a brain. This movie sucks. I'm like, shut up. I mean, your kids aren't wrong. That movie does suck.

Speaker: Yeah, I don't know why that kiss song popped into my head but it's one of those songs again that every time I hear it, it gets me moving and I'm dancing along and I'm singing along and I'm like that song you did on TikTok. I literally had that song stuck in my head. The Uncle Cracker song. I had it stuck. I had the original of course stuck in my head.

Speaker: For the longest time, and I couldn't think of the fucking name or the lyrics, I just had the beat. And I could only think of, give me the beat, boys. Free my soul. That's - Give me the beat, boys, free my soul, I wanna get lost in your record room. And I've forgotten about it. I've forgotten about it. For long enough for me to turn on TikTok, and I see your ass singing this song, and I'm like, ah, that's the song!

Speaker: And my son's like, what? This song's been in my head for like three days. Right on to YouTube right after. I'm like, throw it up on the TV so I can listen to the song. I sung along for like four hours. It's crazy how like random ass songs will get stuck in your head out of fucking nowhere. And the other way to get rid of them is actually hear the song.

Speaker: Well, that's the thing with this fucking kiss song. I've listened to it multiple times and it's still stuck in my fucking head. I was sitting here watching the Michigan game. I was watching the Michigan game today and just randomly, and I started dancing. I'm sitting here dancing on the couch and I'm like, what the hell? You catch a glimpse of yourself in a mirror and I'm like,

Speaker: What the fuck is wrong with me? Yeah, they go to commercial. The screen goes black for a second. I'm right there because my TV is as big as my regular wall.

Speaker: I'm like, I don't even like kiss. I don't even like kiss, but here I am. This is not helping my cause at all right now, but still. I have to be all the time. It drives me insane. And especially it's a song. I'll get obscure songs, like songs that I haven't thought about in years, just popping my head.

Speaker: And if I can't think of it, if I can't think of the name or the lyrics, if I can just think of the beat, I'm fucked. Because it's a month from what I figured out. Well, I don't have that problem just because I'm so, you know, I'm so into music that if something pops into my head,

Speaker: I know what it is instantly, it's just a matter of, oh, can I get this motherfucker out of my head? Well, like, today, I don't know what it was today, but I usually, while I'm working, I throw up on the TV, I throw up Spotify, and I just hit my playlist. You've been listening to some weird ass music.

Speaker: Well, let's let's take a real quick break and then we'll get we'll get into your musical because you've been sending me a lot of videos while you're working on the kitchen. So we're going to take one more real quick break as if we haven't already gotten into enough trouble on Facebook tonight. Let's go ahead and get into more trouble on Facebook. We were talking about this earlier. So so we're going to go ahead and throw this up for a little break music.

Speaker: No, we're not going with T .I. Actually, that's probably not bad. I could probably get T .I. to go on the show right now. Oh, it seems to me that this whole world must go crazy. It's too much pain for me to take it off. It is. Yeah, we can sing along, I guess. Our mics are up. I'm going to go fry some chicken. I'm going to go fry some chicken.

Speaker: No one pays the budget when they see you've published her And maybe it's you who's showing us to you We could save the world, we could save it, girl Show them the mane, show them the mane

Speaker: Unclassed, he bronched, set those days free. They love the home, we're not better, but that's where I'm sure he'll be free. He got two fun bags, long short on the rain. I don't care, think of a match you're on, better than the others. You can show me one,

Speaker: I'll imagine the other. Don't be sad. Don't be sad. Don't be sad. Don't be sad. Don't be sad. Don't be sad.

Speaker: Wow! Oh, this is fabulous! Oh, this is gorgeous! I've been to town that everyone I've been

Speaker: Even if you were about 13 years, he'd like to play around the band. There's no such thing as a bad rest, I believe this one is true. You're a big fat man, I'm a titty fan, I'm a titty fan, and I see all of you. Oh, hey! There's a pair right there. Beautiful. Very nice. Sorry, fellas. Sorry. Oh, that one's not too much.

Speaker: It's okay, I'm a doctor right this year

Speaker: Do you love your country? Do you love your country?

Speaker: What other girls in here love our country? Good lord! What other girls in our country? Whoa, he's more pick and jog around. Show everybody. Or you can go around and look for the camera. I said, you love your country. So take a good night, guys. Stand up, show those big ol' teddy bears. Oh, teddy bears. She's a queen.

Speaker: God bless you. Thanks for coming out here. I love all of you. Thanks for being with us. I love you. Thank you. The video version of the Live of the Majestic. Show them the movie. The stand up comedy show. Yes. The Live of the Majestic. That video is way better. The song flows better.

Speaker: Yeah. Well, no, I, well, I didn't, I didn't want to do the one from the majestic because on, on YouTube and everything like that, the one of the majestic, it shows the, it actually shows them. So I didn't want to, yeah. So I didn't want to do that. That chicken, that chick at the, the beginning of the first one to flash. Jesus. That's a big old thing. Well, it takes summer to ride in Carrington. And when he does that, I'm going to get her to do it.

Speaker: But you know what? I'm not a real boob guy. I mean, you're going wrong. Man, I'll take, man, I am. But I like a nice ass. Yeah, we know. Trust me, we know. I love, look, I'm the complete opposite, man. Much like everything about us. What the hell, Chris?

Speaker: You know, much like everything about us, you know, it's crazy that you and I are friends because we're polar opposites. You're an ass guy. I'm a boob guy. I love me a big old set of days. Well, I'm not a big boob guy either. I'm not a big boob. I'm like, your dad and I said, if it's more than a mouthful or a handful, it's a waste. I got big hands and a big mouth, so. I was going to say, I got a big mouth.

Speaker: I'm not anything over a C cup. I'm out. Yeah. I'm not wasting much of anything. I got, I got big old, I got big old bear Paul's. So I mean, yeah, no, man. I got, I love, uh, and if summer was here, she, she would, uh, I agree with that. I love me. Give me, give me a big old set of set of twins and big old, you know,

Speaker: I'm like, I, you know, I like a cute little butt. Like, I don't need nothing big, nothing crazy. I like a cute little butt. Like, someone's got the perfect, I love her cute little butt. I can put my hand on it. I can grab it. I can smack it. You're working. But man. Oh, I'm trying to get my wife's ass. My wife's got a big old ass. When they come. I love it. Every time. When it comes to titties. Walking around, I'll just smack her ass and she's like, what the fuck was that for? I'm like, that was a fly there. I had to kill it.

Speaker: No, sure. I'm always, I'm always, we're in a vacuum chamber. I'm like, there was a fly. I'm always, I'm always touching summer's ass or shanking around the answer, but, but I mean, look, if, if there's a suffocation risk or if she's on top and I'm getting black eyes, broken nose, concussion, I'm happy. Worth it. Yeah. Worth it. Give me some big old titties.

Speaker: Now, that's that's a that brings up an interesting question. Position wise. All of them are very visionary. Yeah, I was going to say no, but I mean, what's your go to? Oh, I like I like I like when she when she when I personally I like when summer is riding rather your your your normal ride.

Speaker: or Joe plug your ears or the reverse or the reverse yeah reverse cowgirl I love me some reverse cowgirl now as a reverse cowgirl scares me because I'm not the biggest guy in the world but if she comes up too high I'm afraid I'm gonna come out and then I'm bend my dick on a taint or something

Speaker: No, well, well, in that position, you know, they have to know where I'm not. Clearly, I'm not the biggest guy. We've discussed that a lot. Yeah. You know, but it works. And buddy, I'll tell you what, that fucking reverse cowgirl, I'm like that fucking doggy style. I have to be very good. I will be like, you're not done because I'm done.

Speaker: It's a race and I'm winning but in general plug your ears stop stop listening Two hours into the show if you guys just come in So I'm standing up Yeah, I like the summers on top but you know as I said before you even finished your question all of them all of them are

Speaker: Well, my wife, my wife went out yesterday. Plus, close with the reverse. Yeah, go ahead. Close with the reverse cowgirl, much like doggy style. You can do the with your thumb. Yeah. That's why. Right in the old back door. So I'm done. Right in the old back door. Hit her with it. With her friend yesterday because she had the day off yesterday.

Speaker: because she has to take one day off a week by rule work, you know, whatever. So she's like, I'm gonna go and get my nails done and get my, my pedicure done. And I'm like, she came home. She's like, do you want to see your new earrings? And I went, honey, I haven't worn earrings since like 2003. And she's like, read between the lines, dummy. I got my pedicure done. And I was like, oh yeah, let me see that.

Speaker: because like I said I'll put her her calves on my shoulder later on back on the edge of the bed and the bed is perfect height for me to just go for you

Speaker: Yeah, for you. Yeah, that for me, I'm a little bit old. Well, we're both old. We're the same age basically. You know, you got, I got, I got the bend at the knees. I got to bend at the back and it's just like, Oh God, my money's crap. Oh God. I need a bigger bench.

Speaker: I built the bench and I built the bench. So you could do that position. No, I built the bench, the L -shaped bench that I told you about that. I built the storage compartment area. One day we were frisking and the kids had gone to bed and we were too lazy to go upstairs and we tested out the bench and it's the perfect height. I didn't plan it that way, but it's the perfect height. Now the kitchen counter, it's the perfect height if I get hungry.

Speaker: I mean, I still have squat down, but if I, cause I can eat for days. Again, again, I said, you know, there's a shower chair. He's like, I don't know if that's a, I don't know if Joe is making a reference. I don't know if Joanne's making a reference for me being old or if she's joining into this.

Speaker: conversation that I'm starting to feel a little bit uncomfortable with now that my. Not because he's old. So if you go to your pops house and there's a shower chair in the sheriff's house, not because he's old, Chris, I'm telling you now, it's not because it's old.

Speaker: I'm never going to that. I'm never going to their house again. Never. You can walk in the door and just start being fucking red. Go. I don't remember why. I got to take a piss. I'm going outside. We have two bathrooms, Christopher. I don't care. I'm going outside. I saw that shower chair in there and I'm not going there ever yet.

Speaker: You see yours tell your daddy your dad already comes home and he says so I went over to the what's the the medical uh They have that they have those stores that sell medical equipment for older people Can't we just get drunk and listen to blacktop mojo dad

Speaker: It's like, you remember the time I almost shot you? It's about to happen for real. Get out! You're not welcome to hear it. It's okay when I talk about these kinds of things. You're just sitting there on the couch going, my ears are bleeding. Earlier in the show you talked about crawling into the fetal position.

Speaker: You're gonna be lying in bed and it's gonna pop in your head Pop said have you seen how have you ever seen our bed? Yeah, their bed sits up pretty

Speaker: Two and two together, live. You just went, yeah, it doesn't really, oh my God. Oh my God. Joe said, no, there is no sex chair for the shower. Not yet. Cops is currently. If you go over to this address, I'm going to find a medical store close to you guys. And I want to just email God where to go with pictures of different shower chairs.

Speaker: Bob Pops is currently on Amazon right now. I mean, shower chairs. Joe's like, no. I just fell shower chair. Handrails.

Speaker: Yeah. I can see, I can see pops right now. Hey Joe, how do you spell shower chair? No, give me your shower. Give me your phone. Give me your phone right now. You're grounded. Hey, do we have the extra firm grip or do we're on the, on the feet or wants to slip your room?

Speaker: Remind me, I gotta get grip for the fucking shower. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why we do not go live on TikTok. Oh my god. Jeff, I blame you for this now. Now I have. You know what? I have a odd story that has to deal with this and that haunts me to this day.

Speaker: Did you walk in on your parents having sex? Yes, I did. No, I walked in on my dad going to town. Oh, my God. Having lunch. Mm. I was. It's a good thing. I was like 10. I was horrified. I was like, Oh, my God. I forgot. I forgot what I wanted. It's a good thing we ran your mom off about twenty nine episodes ago.

Speaker: I don't think I've ever I don't think I don't think I've ever thankfully I've never been there. Bob said Amazon has a shower chair for $29 .95 free shipping.

Speaker: don't get the handrail because I'm sorry. I do have to say sex in the shower is seriously overrated. I prefer molestation in the shower. Surprise!

Speaker: Well, okay, I better not go into that conversation right now because my parents are here, but you know, we'll just say shower. Shower time is, uh, I'm not invited into too many showers because we don't take showers when we're in the, in there together.

Speaker: Yeah. All I heard was we don't take showers. And I, you trailed off. So all I heard was we don't take showers when we're together. And I was like, yeah, it's just, it's just, we take showers. Plus, plus my showers, my, my, my, my shower in my bathtub is, is made for is Jeff's size. When I first moved into my

Speaker: When I first moved into my apartment, I posted on TikTok. I like my new apartment. The cool thing about moving into my apartment was the fact that this is the first time I've ever lived alone. But the big problem was that I didn't notice when I did a walkthrough of my apartment.

Speaker: And my apartment's not big. It's not nice. Little people. Yeah. It's not big. It's not nice or anything like that. It's just, it's, it's mine. You know what I mean? Like, this is my place. Um, but my shower head legit comes up to my chest. So, yeah, like I said, hey, my shower's not big enough for Summer and I to take a shower together. But when we do get into the shower together, it's just,

Speaker: generally. It's well, it was, it's awkward because. You want me to do your front? No. Yeah. Well, yeah, it's awkward because it's small, but then, but then I instantly just start molesting her and it's just like, touch here and then touch here and touch there. Oh, hello. And then she turns into the. She's like, you don't even have a soap on my hands. I said, I know. And then she turns into the orangutan for that video. She's just.

Speaker: My wife was like said she's out with friends for a birthday party dinner and she's getting ready now her friends want ready for her and She goes into the bathroom to shower and I just didn't close the door and I got the bedroom door open and I get a Perfect view of the shower and I'm just sitting there on the edge of the bed watching

Speaker: She's like, what are you doing? I said, watching you. She's like, did you touch yourself? She goes, don't be pervy. I was like, I'm about to put my dick out. Hold on. Hold on a second. Hey, Jeff. Did you touch yourself?

Speaker: I came in and out of the shower and I locked the bedroom door and I was like, look at this. No, let's be honest. We all know what happened. Yeah. Let me show you how I make this penis disappear. Put your leg in there and pretend your feet hate each other. She was like, why aren't you watching me? You were like, oh, god damn it, Chris.

Speaker: shut the door shut the door you god i'm disgusted i'm fucking disgusted right now i'm still waiting for that i'm just sitting in my brand new closet going no no no i hate chris i hate chris

Speaker: I'm not doing the podcast today. Why not? Well, you popped in my head in the wrong fucking time, you son of a. Hey, uh, Hey, can you tell me I'm creepy? Uh, Jeff, you're creepy. Yeah, that's what I like to hear. Yeah, that's what Danny likes.

Speaker: Jeff, you're fucking creepy. Oh yeah. That's what daddy likes. What the fuck? My Google assistant says, how do you play a message on messenger in repeat? I just, I just,

Speaker: Even though I look like a giant penis in witness protection. I could enjoy the fact that I'm slowly creeping my way into ruining your sex life. No, it didn't work great. My wife woke up before and she's like, Poppy, you got to get up. You got to get some work done. And I was like, yeah, my mom getting on it. Yeah, well, Poppy's cool.

Speaker: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

Speaker: What else you rub up on me? I was cooking today in my new kitchen. My wife bought. You like it when I rub off on you? Yeah. But I was cooking down here in the kitchen. I hooked up the range. And my wife bought past order. I'd say it's a pork in a certain sauce, right? I'm gonna go fried chicken. I was frying it up.

Speaker: And instead of actually walking up the stairs in the bedroom like, Hey, is this done? Try this. I video messaged her. I'm like, Hey, is this done? She's like, fucking taste it dumbass. And she's lying in the bed. I was like, move your camera down lower. She's like, Why? Just do it. I know you've taken your work uniform off. Let me see. So she lowered it down. I was like, Ah, still got your bra on.

Speaker: I gotta go. What is it? How, how, how is that me rubbing off on you? Because you and your kids will literally be in this opposite room. Oh yeah. At each other. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't like your taste is tough. If it's done, don't you and your kid, my dog was like, show me your boobs kind of thing. Yeah. My daughters will be sitting upstairs. Yeah.

Speaker: No, no, I yell at them for doing that shit. I don't do that. My daughters, the girls, how we go from conversation to conversation blows my mind. But my daughters will literally be sitting beside each other on the couch and Snapchat each other. They are sitting eight inches apart and they will Snapchat each other.

Speaker: That's that's true. That just tells you the next generation when when we're old and and the kids put us in a home, we'll be thankful. Joe said my. Joe said my head looks like an eggplant. Which is the emoji for penis. I get it. I look like a **** giant six foot two penis and the witness protection program.

Speaker: whatever. I hate all of you. Should've shaved your head motherfucker. You live and learn. I look good with the bald head. I don't know why you guys are **** hating. I'm going to get a little sun on this ****. Yeah, like I said, you need to get some sun on it because right now, it it reflects the light and it blinds my camera. I'm a sexy **** bald man. Deal with it.

Speaker: Well, because summer I said earlier, I was live on. Where the fuck are my glasses actually? Oh, here they are. Which is what I tell my wife. My wife's like, you're good looking. And I'm like, yeah, I still say you need glasses. Put my glasses on. Yeah, I'm still a sexy son bitch. Mm. How you doing, Glick? What you doing later? Yeah, but how many pairs have you had? That's called beer goggles, sir. Not enough to have beer goggles because my name's not Jeff, so.

Speaker: I thought I had more in the fridge. I told you to go to the store and buy more beer. I've only had six beers, six beers, seven beers. Okay, Steve, I have a thing when it comes to beer, and you don't know this because you drink all the time, but when I drink beer... I don't drink all the time, first of all. No, okay.

Speaker: if I crack a beer and I drinking and it doesn't go down smooth sometimes you grab a beer you just oh my god and you just next thing you know you're you're three beers deep that's a good drinking day but sometimes you'll crack a beer and you're drinking like fuck I don't even want this now I yeah I've been I've been there before I've been there before that's what today is for me drinking beer I just I don't even want it I'll drink them I'm not gonna waste them I'm not an asshole

Speaker: It's called alcohol. First of all, Joanne, I'm going to answer your question, Pops. Fuck you. Say, say that shit to my face. Because as Jeff alluded to earlier, if I was a silverback gorilla, I would be the lazy silverback gorilla. Yes. So I'm telling the little gorillas, go get me a beer. Yes. The little monkeys, as Justin said. Go get me a beer, you little monkey.

Speaker: We're going to go ahead and in we're going to go ahead and in this, but we're going to come right back with some after show. You down with some after show, Jeff? Yeah, I'm going to just sit on the couch. It just makes it easier. It just makes it easier for me with the with the posting and the editing and the after show. I can post as bonus content if I choose to. Yeah.

Speaker: But so and it's nice to keep it like that two hour two hour. So I'm going to throw on a little black top mojo pops. Yeah, I'm going to do your song and then we're going to come back and I will answer pops and Joe's questions. Well, I will answer Joe's question and then I'm going to retort to pops comment because he's sitting in the comfort of his house with his doors locked while he's talking shit that he knows better.

Speaker: keyboard warrior. keyboard tough guy, but. Where's it at? But because even though Pops talking, even though Pops is talking shit and acting like a little business, I wonder if I can get this to fucking work for me. I'll still play this one of his favorite songs at the show.

Speaker: Well, you do that. I'm going to put my kids. Thank you. Thank you guys for listening. Chatter's box. Thank you guys. As always, you guys are phenomenal. If you're not already, go ahead and check us out on social media. Hit us with that. Thumb and give Jeff the old thumb and, uh, follow him like this. Uh, follow him like us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, Twitch. Holy crap.

Speaker: There's so much social media. Yeah. And if you like what you hear, check out every episode on Google, Apple, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, basically anywhere you get your podcast fixings at.

Speaker: at, uh, nonsensical nonsense. And, uh, as we brought up time and time again, we are looking to get into the interview game. So if you'd like to come on the show and hang out with us live, um, hit us up on our Gmail. Yeah. I am struggling to get through this outro. I noticed.

Speaker: but uh thank you guys for listening uh if you want to hang out some more join us for the after show uh we're gonna come back live and uh hang out a little bit more basically do what we're doing now uh but uh just makes just makes my uh editing easier and we're gonna end the show with with our favorite band the one and only I just had it and I lost it

Speaker: I'm trying to give our guys some fucking love and and I can't even do okay. I found it again So we're gonna end the show with a little blacktop mojo. Go check them out on social media. They're everywhere You download the music stream their music check them out on you go. Tell them hi tell them nonsensical nonsense sent you at blacktop mojo Just google blacktop mojo. That's literally all you have to do. There's only one blacktop mojo

Speaker: So we will see you guys right back in just a few minutes. Jeff, I'm going to play this, let it play out, and then that'll give you time to move your shit. Yeah. Yeah. And then we'll pick back up. All right, cool. Don't make too much noise. You're my stone. Yeah. My ass is sore from something.

Speaker: What did you bring back to me? A vicious preoccupation With a darkness underneath There was something empty now

Speaker: Is there something you're hiding? Oh, darling, I'm afraid to ask Are you waiting cause you're worried in the dead of the night? Why are you staring at the ceiling to the morning light?

Speaker: prepare you can't see tell me why you can't see I've been sitting here waiting

Speaker: Still out the window of the sea Watch strangers come round the corner Hoping it was you I see But I pretend not to notice The distance in your eyes When you pull me in closer

Speaker: Why are you tearing at the ceiling till the morning light? Before I found you with a secret that you can't see Tell me why you can't sleep You're not the only one who ever needed a sweet craving alive

Speaker: Don't doubt your demons, love me

Speaker: Till the morning light

Speaker: Again, thank you guys for listening. It has been nonsensical nonsense. Appreciate y 'all hanging out with us chatters box. You guys are awesome as always.

Speaker: Jeff is the man. Well, I mean, like a hobbit, but, um, we'll be back Wednesday night. Yeah. We'll be back Wednesday night for the next episode. Go ahead and join us if you'd like for the after show. And if you're not already check us out on social media and Institute at, uh, nonsensical nonsense on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Tik TOK Twitch, YouTube.

Speaker: and check out every episode on Spotify, Google Play, Google Podcasts, Apple Podcasts. Good Lord almighty. No, you're not on camera. I cannot spit this out. I'm not complaining. Can you see me? Yeah, I can see you. Okay. But also if you'd like to go ahead and shoot us an email at nonsensical nonsense podcast at gmail .com. We're out of here and we will see you guys next Wednesday.

Speaker: while that was creepy.