Transcript
Speaker: My back's against the wall As you float through the room With all the things you've got To make you feel at home And that look that's on your face It leads me to a sooner chance than you
Speaker: Well, please darling just say something I need to understand Well, tell me why it is you're leaving I thought I was your man Watching the tail lights fade Up the street is the sun
Speaker: You don't have to be this way You know I hate to be alone Baby please don't go, don't go I searched the house and hope you left something But I didn't find nothing at all I thought maybe if there's something you've forgotten
Speaker: At least I have a reason to come And as I pace around I realize The only sound is my heartbeat Driving me insane I reach for you But you're not there Crying out to you But you don't hear Your promise should be there forever
Speaker: Up the street as the sun sings low
Speaker: on everybody. Welcome, welcome. Happy Thursday. Another episode of Nonsense with Nonsense. I'm Glick, and as always, I'm hanging out with Jeff. Give him a few minutes. He'll be right back. I think he's killing his kids. Not 100 % sure, but he will be joining us momentarily. But why would we go ahead and put that social media out there? Because we always fail to do that.
Speaker: If you're on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, feel free to give us a follow at nonsense for nonsense. Also check us out, we're on Spotify. That's where you can get every episode of this dumpster fire train wreck of a podcast.
Speaker: And if you want to send us email you can send it to nonsense go nonsense at podcast at gmail .com boom perfect timing Thank you, that's the only that's that's my one job say like that that whole meme you had one job
Speaker: Hence the reason we're recording on Thursday, not Wednesday. Actually, that's on you, sir. That's on you. That's on me. But and it's Thursday and the last episode of the podcast just got edited tonight before we went live and it's not posted yet. Well, yeah, but I mean, you're Lily just finished training.
Speaker: quote unquote, and you still haven't 100 % figured out your schedule, which is completely understandable with a new job. With this job, there is the 100 % figuring out the schedule, you know, it is. Right. Unfortunately, it is what it is. I'm going to be working long days, long hours, especially in the summertime. Oh yeah.
Speaker: if I can figure out how to work Facebook, we might be on to something here. So yeah, like Monday night, I didn't get off until eight or eight 30, something like that. Right. I didn't get off work until after about eight o 'clock. Today I got off working. But yeah, unfortunately, you know, it is what it is. Yeah, there's nothing that can be done.
Speaker: It's the joys of actually working for a living, where I spent the past two days building that L bench. Touching yourself. Yeah, well, that too. Well, like that L bench was literally the problem comes down to one thing, what I had in mind and what my wife had in mind, which is usually the case are two different things.
Speaker: And she's like, oh, shouldn't it be longer on this side? I was like, uh, okay. Well, it was, well, it all came down to, it was a spur of the moment build. It was like, um, it was, we were going to start the closet first and it all came down to, she was like, you know, um, the problem is we have, we don't have enough space for when guests come.
Speaker: And, and we constantly have people over. And there's no, there's never any place for everybody to sit. So, uh, she says, why don't we put a, build that L bench you've been talking about since we moved in. And it was also super cheap to do so. So without sketching anything up, I just go, I just went, okay. Uh, yeah. Okay. This is what I need. And I came up with a list of material real quick.
Speaker: And I was pretty darn close with the exception of, I was only missing one, one by 12 and two, one by threes. That's not bad. Which you had to go to all people buy it with the increase in wood. It cost you about $6 ,000, $10 billion. That bench costs more than my car.
Speaker: Actually, it wasn't that bad. It's not as bad as it is in the States. Luckily, we did have most of the stuff I used. We did have. I don't know what it is, but I've never trusted half -inch ply. I hate half -inch ply. I like three -quarter. I'm prejudiced. To me, it's a strength thing.
Speaker: Yes, I'm prejudiced about half -inch plywood. I'm racist when it comes to half -inch plywood. But it all comes down to, I'm always afraid of wood -splitting. I'm always afraid of the wood -splitting.
Speaker: I saw she posted something like she's like, I'm done. I'm done for the day. And I was like, please walk over, but go live. You'll be there. She posted that today. Or was that yesterday? Because she had an instant incident yesterday. And I'm not sure if it was today or yesterday. I know she yesterday. So I and her wait until she comes in here. It's okay to talk about incident she had yesterday as to why she was
Speaker: done yesterday. Because I don't want to put her off their permission. But she's like, she's like, look, please hold currently cussing out. Yeah, it's she said, don't tell him. We have no secrets. But it was it. Yeah, so with with Yeah, good. No, go ahead. Oh, I was just No, I was just saying it's
Speaker: I'm always afraid of half -inch ply splitting Like when you put a screw in it or something But I also didn't want any screws showing and my wife was like we're not buying a pocket hole jig Just so you can build one bench So I said well fine we're gonna need this much extra wood That's exactly what I said I said it's a good trade -off for 25 bucks because
Speaker: You can't do your wall art now because it costs $500 to ship it. To ship it, yeah. Well, no, but I mean, it's like pretty much everything I'm going to be building, like I said, I want to redo the kitchen, which means all new cabinets. So that's going to be, I definitely have to get a pocket hole jig for that, so I don't have any screws showing. The closet, need it there as well.
Speaker: I have to work on her a little bit and be like, look, this is what it can do. I got to show her because if I tell her what it is, she's like, you can't just do that. I'm like, no. That's why they have them. That's why they sell it crazy because doing pocket holes is a pain in the ass without a jig. So. And then show the screws to the world. Yeah.
Speaker: I want to look nice, damn it. Welcome officially, pretty girl. Did you, there she is. She'd tell that cable company. What, what? They, they have been having all kinds of issues the other day. The internet was fucked up, but she had to get a new router and then she had to get new. And now they didn't just need batteries. Cause I think I asked that question. Did she check the batteries? Oh yeah.
Speaker: She got a new router, and then the cable box wasn't working. Oh, Christ. Why can you not hear me? Burn down the building. Yeah. Then she was on the phone with them, and she was like, I don't understand why you call technical support. And then they tell you to troubleshoot everything yourself, and they tell you to do it. Yeah. It's like, this is what I pay for you, fuckers. Get your asses out here and do it. Yeah, get your shit together.
Speaker: Bags Well that the whole battery thing reminds me of a story that I've been wanting to tell you for a while You know the the concept for well, there's your problem About The first time I rebuilt the the motor of the car I
Speaker: because it has a coolant problem. It's the design of the motor that you cannot keep the heads cool enough and the heads tend to have to be redone. So the first time I redid the heads on the car, the tensioner broke while driving. And of course, belt slips off and then all of a sudden there's no power steering, there's no coolant running through and the car gets hot. So
Speaker: We're driving down the road and we're passing all these places for parts and all the stuff. And so it wasn't that hard to find a part, but we, the tensioner broke. I stopped the car when I realized I have no power steering and I'm like, yeah, something's definitely wrong. I got no power steering.
Speaker: And I luckily had sockets in the back of the car, took the tensioner off and I went to a park store and I said, I need this. And the guy looked at it and went, well, there's your problem right there. I said, no shit, it's in three pieces. But he looked me straight in the eye and he says, well, you need to replace this. I said, do you think so? He basically sat there, looked straight in the eye with a straight face and went, well, there's your problem right there.
Speaker: Well, can you hear me now? Sorry. I was half listening to that. I knew it had to do with the car. I was half listening to that. And so I'm going to keep looking at me as if my mic was starting. Yeah. You're Mike. You, you, uh, faded out there for a second. Did I come back? I just, yeah, you came back in and I, I turned it up and I adjusted the gain and all that. Oh, somebody from Amsterdam is watching. Listen, if I'm reading that correctly,
Speaker: Um, wait, summer said, let's be honest. We're here about me. No. Yeah. We're not here about your, your car. Keep looking. No, that's what she said. I went, you said I wasn't allowed to talk about you. So yeah, there you go. The mike's pick double edged sword there. I'm getting good feed. Um, it's probably your earbuds. Close the door. Yeah.
Speaker: My daughter has this thing where she just kind of, you tell her something she doesn't want to do and she just stares at you like you just told her there's no Santa Claus or something. No, unless you're here. So are you here? Can I tell about your mishap and about what happened to you yesterday while you were just done for the day? I've adjusted everything. I can pull the mic closer.
Speaker: Can you hear me now? Am I coming through loud? I don't know about her, but I can hear you. I'm like, I'm doing this. I'm taking your hands off my head. Yeah. I wasn't talking either. No, that too. Jeff was talking about cars. So I, I phased out. Yeah. It doesn't take much. Tonight I have like,
Speaker: Absolutely no prep because obviously as I as I've said and this this week has been Unfortunately, I've been looking and I haven't found anything I went on to scan BC today and everything couldn't find anything Well scan BC hasn't updated in forever. It's annoying Oh Summer wants to try to join us and tell her story about what happened yesterday. That would be wonderful
Speaker: So, well, tell me when to send you an invite. I tell you constantly, there's two sites that you can go to. I mean, I can pull them up right now and I haven't even looked and I can get at least, at least. Well, it's not stopping you. Oh man. Well, Florida's in the news. Congratulations. Oh, excellent. I love Florida shit.
Speaker: Florida ship makes my week, let me tell you. Yeah, Florida's in the news. So yeah, what I was going to say is essentially, needless to say, we will be weighing it.
Speaker: What else is new Pretty much Well, I mean we got testicle eating fish and a teenage girl stuck in the chimney and Okay, the testicle fish the testicle eating fish totally got my attention
Speaker: Like I can't focus on anything else at the moment because I live near an ocean and I don't want to get in the ocean now. We already know that you get violated on a regular basis. I dolphins and I'm scared of sharks. In the ocean. Well, Somerset's invite her now so she can tell her story. Oh, please. If she can join in and she has a connection and all that jazz and it works properly.
Speaker: I was going to say, I have been making jokes about it. Oh, nice. It should be a good story. So when she tells the story, you know, when you're making jokes of a situation, you're not an asshole. You're observant. You can see the brighter side. Well, that is what I tell my wife when she tells me if I make fun of her. Yeah. Well, that and. Much like you,
Speaker: She's she's throwing me a couple softballs. That's not a good softballs and she knows better. It's not like I'm just going to not take my shot, right? Yeah, it's it's yeah. If I'm throwing you a beach ball and you're in a baseball bat, you should knock it out the park. If if if I drive it a Mac truck.
Speaker: And no, I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about my girlfriend who had an embarrassing situation yesterday, to say the least. And I didn't invite her. Now Summer has to get on as soon as possible, because this I got to hear. Yeah, I did invite her. Apparently, she's currently cursing. Figuring it out. Here she goes. I think she's got it. Oh, there she goes. Add her on the camera. We'll give her some screen time.
Speaker: We'll give her three minutes to kick her ass out. There you go. So cancel her. You have no mic. There you go. I heard something. Hello, pretty girl. Yes, we hear you. Thank you. Tell Michelle to come here. So now it's all OK for a second.
Speaker: There, I see her. Please come here. Forget it. What did you do to yourself? I got the car I was getting back to. Yeah. Go. Just go. Just go. You better be careful, or you're going to have another incident, and you're going to get us kicked off Facebook. Yeah, no kidding. Go. Go, go, go. OK. Sorry.
Speaker: You have no sound. OK. Is that better? Yeah, I hear you now. No, you're fine. Well, you got to yell over Jeff's kid. Yeah, apparently. Now, Jeff, Summer's going to - She doesn't want to get her temperature taken. That's why my daughter's crying. What I'm going to need you to do is not be like Kevin Hawley and actually
Speaker: Interrupt. Oh, I'm going to totally listen. I'm going to put my mic above my head, so I'm ready. This is the story about how I really need to pay attention about what I post. Not just post, but on Snapchat.
Speaker: Yeah, just on Snapchat. Yesterday was a fantabulous day. I went and got my first shot for my COVID vaccine. And afterwards I came home and got my kid. We were laying out in school and I have weird tan lines. Okay. So I had a tan line from a band -aid, which was cool. I feel there.
Speaker: Well, Chris and I were on snappy chatty. We were having a conversation and I'm showing all my tan lines about how from like here up, look at me. I'm tan. But then from there down, it's a gigantic scar. I was, what is that?
Speaker: My wife sent me a message or it's a gigantic scar. I was Or it's a gigantic scar. I was Were you mute the damn thing? Yeah, I got it. Sorry. I was trying to He is His his his message thing was completely drowning you out so you said from here up you're nice and tan but I
Speaker: I'm like, damn. But then from like, here down, I'm like, what? Like a ghost. Right? Oh, and like, I'm showing Chris. I'm like, you know what? You look like a what? Like, look at this timeline. It's so weird. He didn't reply for like 30 minutes. Now my assistant at my store
Speaker: Rapad, this is why you showed me a nickel to the world. Oh, nice. I posted it on my story. So just better. At this point, I'm embarrassed. People had already saw it. Like a good like 13, 14 people. Two seconds. You can continue. Hey, uh, uh, Rocky is in here. What's up, Rocky?
Speaker: Rock Lee. He's on Facebook. He needs to respond to my message. I sent him a message about trying to get some of his music so I can put it on before and after the podcast. Because I ran through, I pretty much almost ran through Blacktop Mojo's
Speaker: Available music. So you, uh, you posted your boobies all over Snapchat. Just this one. No, just one movie. Mind you, mind you, I never seen it and I have yet to get to see it. The tan line. No, you'll see it. Wait.
Speaker: So then - So Des, your assistant store manager, she messaged you. Yeah, she's like, why are you showing your nipples off to the world? And I'm like, what? And I can go on a snack story. There it is for the world to see. About 13, 14 people saw it. And I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, where that was supposed to go. So, tell everybody else, I'm just going to go hang myself because at this point, no point in showing my face at work.
Speaker: Well, you know, me thinking like I only saw like a few names on there, like nobody from work saw it except for this. No, that's a race saw it. Kendall saw it. And then Ross and I were talking about something. Or it's a gigantic scar.
Speaker: And I've been in Brussels like, what are you laughing at? And I was like, Oh, I was like, nothing. He's like, no, he's like, you know, more just died laughing. And I was like, check her temperature. There was an incident last night on Snapchat. He's like, Oh yeah. He's like, I saw that. And I'm like,
Speaker: Booby Gate 2021. Yeah, I was thinking something similar. I just couldn't figure out what a good one for it. Well, tonight her and her assistant manager went out to dinner. No, no, no, no. Me, Desiree, Laura, and Kendall all went out. Oh, okay. So her and most of the girls from work, not all of them, but most of them. So they go to a chicken place.
Speaker: She's telling me about going to dinner and everything. And I was like, Oh, so did you get the breast? She was like, yeah, actually. That's, that's as I stated, that's not being an asshole. That is seeing the brighter side, silver lining and all.
Speaker: But I was also making jokes last night, like five minutes after she told me what happened. There was no morning period or grieving time. Oh, I'm sorry, babe. That really sucked for you. Just stab her right in the back. So is your Snapchat now on OnlyFans? Yeah, yeah. I said is that your debut to OnlyFans?
Speaker: Hey, Chris, you got to start paying for this Snapchat fees. I ain't paying shit. I've got catalogs for Dave from her. I was about to say that I can go either way. I'm very photogenic. I agree. You are. Take your word for it. That's that's my story.
Speaker: Nice. I'm so glad I don't have a Snapchat, but once again, that all comes down to like, I'd be like, why am I looking at some dude's nipple? Oh yeah, it's summer. Oh, okay. That's why I'm looking at some dude's nipple. You're the Snapchat. Bro, I can see your nipples. Stevie, put that shit away.
Speaker: All right, now I'm really just going to go hang myself. No, we love you Summer. It's all fun and games. It is what it is. If I could make you feel better for a second, I don't think I ever told you this. I didn't send any pictures, but I almost did. One time when we were video chatting,
Speaker: And then you yelled at me for not paying attention. I was trying to send you a pic of your buddy and damn near sent it to Sean. My buddy up in Michigan, I caught it right before I said it. I was like, oh shit. We're close. We're not that close. Somebody's yelling at you for not paying attention. So I'm just not going to send you anything.
Speaker: I've never done that. I've always wanted to do it on purpose accident. Have you seen the latest thing on TikTok where it's like you send your wife a message as she's walking out the door. She's gone. Come over and see how she reacts. You said it too, yeah. Oh, Chris. Oh, Rocky's on Haps. Excellent.
Speaker: Rock Lee's the one I was telling you about, that I sent him a message about getting some of his music or seeing if he would do something for us. Oh, actually, yeah, hell yeah, dude. And I sent you a bunch of his stuff. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't have to hang yourself, though, baby. It's okay. No, don't hang yourself. Just cover up. Preview shit.
Speaker: like he can see like my um sorry he can see my boob right like he can see my nib he can see that's gangster you know the rest of the world got to see it that's the thing yeah but five people for all this like i said i have still not got to see the tan line
Speaker: Yeah, it's good. She's afraid to turn on a camera She wouldn't put on a sweater for doing the podcast I'm gonna sweater. I'm gonna get a fucking Scarf that's what I was looking for Now she has a hard time covering the girls because they're
Speaker: take your word for it. She has to duct tape him at night. Otherwise she'll get, she'll get suffocated. Sometimes she wakes up in the morning and one's on this side of the bed and the other one's on that side of the bed. I was building that bench and I don't know if I mentioned it, but I basically build it between eight o 'clock and two o 'clock in the morning. You build a bench?
Speaker: No, the bench, the L -shaped bench. Yeah. Yeah. I know. Funny fuck. But, but my wife is on the couch the whole time. And at one point I got the door wide open cause I got, I'm cutting the wood outside and she's like, you know, I'm not wearing a shirt. I was like, Oh, maybe I should close the door. Yes. Rocky summer is so gangster. Yes. That's gangster.
Speaker: But that's the end of my story. It was great. Can we make this a segment? Summer's embarrassing stories once a week. Oh, please. At least once a month. Just Summer come in and say, I did something dumb. I told my boobies. I don't have that many embarrassing stories. I mean, it doesn't even have to be anything new. It can be old stuff, too. Hell, you can make it up. Nobody know. I can't lie, though. That's the thing.
Speaker: That's not very gangster of you We got you got drunk in bath time with summer What is up with that
Speaker: Wouldn't there be risk of drowning? No, no, she doesn't just want to get in the bath. She aggressively wants to get in the bath. She's like diving. Have you seen those videos where those guys do everything aggressively? It's like folding laundry aggressively. What's his name in the second Batman with
Speaker: The Batman with Val Kilmer. What's his name? The guy that played Robin, he's done his laundry and he's flipping it around and all that shit. Oh, is that Chris O 'Donnell or whatever? Chris O 'Donnell. Thank you. I couldn't remember his name. I had went out in Nashville a few years ago, about a year and a half ago. Mind you, Chris and I work together. And I have a tendency when I start drinking, I don't know my limits.
Speaker: We had went out with Cliff and Cliff is like an old boss, like he's gay, bisexual, whatever he is and he took us to a gay boy. I ended up having like a $400 bar tap, that not just for myself. Jesus. It was not for herself. It was Patron and she was buying everybody in the vicinity that could hear her voice, shots.
Speaker: Ho, train.
Speaker: Yeah, that'll do it. Again, Snapchat tells the truth of this story. She tells the line of this story because I was getting Snapchat videos all night long from her and Cliff, who had her phone. It's my story time, not your story time. It's my podcast, woman. This relationship.
Speaker: I have this magical thing called, yeah, this isn't a relationship. This is my podcast. I have this magical thing. I am the host. You're the guest. Yeah, I was about to say, I don't want to, I don't want to get into the fight. I'll just sit here and watch. This is awesome. This is the two hours that it's my world and I get to make the rules. I can tell your story wrong.
Speaker: How I, I don't think I've ever had a bar tab over a hundred bucks. I made like three rounds of shots for everybody that is with, but the rest of it was all a lot of a lot. Obviously. At some point I ended up blacking out. I fell on the floor. I thought I broke my hand out of the Uber.
Speaker: like a wolf or like a dog. Yeah, we've discussed howling at the moon. Yeah, yeah. She also fell out of the Uber. That was a hilarious video. I wish I could have been able to save videos back there because that one was came from her friend who had her phone and then send it to me. That's the shit to make you go viral on you on TikTok.
Speaker: Yeah, I fell laying out of the ground. I'm not sure how that happened. I fell into the car laying down like this going to... Finally got back to the hotel. I was at a Super 8, and I'm a bougie ass bitch, and I do not do Super 8. Super 8? My body popped out for me.
Speaker: But so I just want to keep that was it. So I was sitting on the side of the tab and I wanted to peak. I wanted to throw up and then I wanted to take a bath and in the bath and I didn't want to get out. I want to take a bath. Right now. Right now. When I get when I get drunk like that, I'm kind of like the guy, it's like, fuck this, I'm laying down. You know, I.
Speaker: I'm taking my nap. And then I had to get up two hours later and go to work and couldn't go to work. I got there and coming out of my pores. You can smell it. He's like, you need to go back to your hotel and leave it off a little bit longer. See you tomorrow. They sent her home. They sent her back to the hotel. Mind you, she's doing all this falling out, falling all over the place in a little
Speaker: Mini skirt. Okay, first of all, I don't wear mini skirts. I had jeans. Okay, it was a dress that barely covered her ass anyways. So. I was in jeans and then it's shirt. The shirt just happened to like come down like straight V. There's no problem showing her boobs to the world.
Speaker: That reminds me of a joke I heard. Yeah. This little little kid is mom makes him a chocolate cake.
Speaker: And he takes the chocolate cake and he smears it all over his face and says, Mom, look, I'm black. And she smacks him on the face. And she says, you shouldn't say stuff like that. Go tell your father what you said. Goes over his dad and he's still got chocolate cake on his face. And she says, Dad, look, I'm black. That smacks his face. You shouldn't talk like that. It's racist. Go tell your grandmother what you said goes grandma.
Speaker: Grandma, look, I'm black. Smacks him cross -faced. You shouldn't talk like that. Go back to your mother. Mother says, did you learn anything? She says, yeah, I've been black for 10 minutes and I already hate you white people. Winston? I was afraid that this was going to go. I went up getting canceled. Actually, the funny thing is heard that on TikTok told by black man. I thought it was hilarious.
Speaker: I gave him a like and a follow. This is not y 'all show. This is my show. It's been fun. It's been real. Back to Snapchat showing off your goodies. My camera just froze up. There it goes. That's weird. Your face froze up.
Speaker: Now, so that, that, uh, needless to say, I have, uh, I have, um, I wouldn't say been unreal at least, but every time I get an opportunity since yesterday, I make a smart ass comment. Oh yeah. You got to tell your show love.
Speaker: Well, I mean, she knows too. I mean, it's basically our relationship has been us breaking each other's balls since, since day one. I mean, this is the same person. And I think I, I think I, I don't know if I told you this one time when we were talking about it or possibly if we talked about it on here, um, I'm not sure I make money somehow.
Speaker: when someone I first started talking, I would say probably like in the first couple of days, she sent me a Snapchat one night and it was like showing down her, like wearing panties and stuff where, and she had lost her earbuds. So - Oh yeah, you told that like last week, on Saturday, yeah. I remember when I told it, but it was just like,
Speaker: Yep. This is going to be a weird, but exciting relationship from here. We were just friends and I was just like, Oh, this is, this is. Well, hello. That came out of love field, but I like it. So no, you got to tell the story about the, the test school eating fish. Cause that's, that's still on my mind in the back, in the back of my mind.
Speaker: That scares the shit out of me. Testicle 18 fish. You can't be a hater. You'd have to be relevant to be a hater. Oh, I guess. Oh, that hurt. He said he shot. I was I contemplated. He said the biggest haters in the house on Facebook. Whoa. Expert warns humanity for making alien contact. Whoa.
Speaker: That goes right up to a couple episodes back. Yeah, I'll see. I'm a freak for alien shit. I don't research it, but I watch it. You should be like your girl and go on a tag and spree and tag everybody in their brother. There you go. That'd be awesome. So testicle eating fish found in Europe for the first time. Oh, thank God it's in Europe, not down here.
Speaker: Oh my god. Okay, take a breath now. It looks like a piranha. So I don't I hopefully this story again, no problem. I just this is just a headline. Well, the headline is if the headline doesn't grab you. It's not worth reading.
Speaker: In my defense, if it's something you can read, I send you that. But if it's just a snapshot, I send you the snapshot. What are you going to do?
Speaker: Go on, indeed, and find a new co -host. Actually, try to find a co -host. I'm just going to find, like, a producer. That'll do all the show prep for us. Yes. That way, all we got to do is send it to them. That way, it's a surprise to the other co -host. That's even better. That rock, Emmanuel, well, you can't see the comments. Rocky, my buddy, does EDM combat on TikTok.
Speaker: Uh -huh. He, he's been around for a relationship. He, he don't like summer because she, she stole him. She stole me away from him. But, but she said that. Speaking of stealing things, speaking of stealing things, I watched a movie today and fucking Blake Lively was in it. Every time she came on the screen, I was like, fuck you. And my son's like, what are you yelling at the TV for? I was like, fucking Blake Lively.
Speaker: That's what makes it funny is like we don't have the shit we say we don't Well, especially stuff like that. We don't really care of people here because we know we're not 100 % serious. I
Speaker: At least I'm not. I don't know about you. I don't know. Ryan walks down the street. I'm like, Hey, how are you doing? I hate your wife. I got to ask you a question. Does this rag smell like chloroquine? He's waking up in the days. How you doing, big guy?
Speaker: I rescued you. I rescued you. You're hot. I mean, it's hot out there. Anyways. Back to the fish. We're trying to talk about testicle eating fish. Calm down. I didn't even know there was fish out there.
Speaker: Enjoyed testicles as a snack, but it says the paku fish is known for eating testicles of male swimmers and has been spotted in the waters off of the coast of Sweden. Well, thank God I'm not. She didn't Swedish fish. That's why Swedish dudes wear fucking speedos, man. Because you know, that's nibbled on.
Speaker: Well, no, I mean, that's why they wear speedos because if you were swim trunks like I do that are like three sizes too big that fish can swim right up there and have a nibble. Yeah. Hmm. Where if you were a speedo, you got you got a little a little added protection, I guess. So not going to wear a speedo, but go to Sweden. Where's speedo? And that's all ain't going to fucking happen.
Speaker: But it says a fish is known, a fish that is known for eating the testicles of male swimmers have been found in Europe for the first time. The paku is a type of piranha. I was gonna say it does look like a little, like a smaller piranha. Hell, I don't know. Known for its human -like teeth and reports of flame that it has been caught by a fisherman, Glenn Green. And I know that's not his name because he's his feed,
Speaker: Okay, off the coast of Sweden. Henrik Karl from Denmark, Denmark's Natural History Museum told local media, the paku is normally dangerous, or normally not dangerous to people, but is quite a serious bite. There have been incidents in other countries, such as Papua New Guinea, which makes sense, where some have had their testicles bitten off. Okay, how is he saying it's not a threat if it's biting off fucking testicles? That's a threat.
Speaker: I'm going to call. Mike Mayo said that a speedo wouldn't look normal on you, buddy. Yeah, I don't think it's going to happen. Hold on, I'm going to answer. This is my wife. Jesus Christ. Oh, he's gone. So I'm just going to continue reading the story.
Speaker: Uh, Carl added that the fishes are largely large, large words are hard, largely vegetarian and nip away at those in the water only because they are hungry. You'll be my producer. You do a good job looking up stories. You're definitely better than Kevin has or Jeff. Jeff is, I was saying, uh, go be like your, like your friend, like your BFF and go tag everybody in their brother.
Speaker: But he said tell that story about that fish. I have to go give my daughter some medicine real quick. I already am. OK, I'll be right back. Why are you eating your camera? He said they bite because they're hungry and testicles sitting nicely in their mouth. Fair enough. So there's just rolling around. Hooked on phonics worked for you. Hooked on phonics did not work for me. I cannot fucking I destroy the.
Speaker: English language on a daily basis to the point that I told my boss yesterday because he tried to correct my grammar and I was like look if you're going to be a grammar and I had to stop myself because mind you my boss is Jewish and Israeli I think something like that but Jewish nonetheless
Speaker: And he started laughing at me. He's like, uh -huh, you were going to say it, weren't you? And I said, yeah, I stopped myself. You see, there's a filter there. Anyways. And I told him, I said, anyways, if you're going to be a fucking English teacher, you're going to have to quit this job because it's going to be a full -time job. Corrected my, my grammar. Cause I just destroy the English language on a dirty basis. I don't know why because fucking, because I can. That's why.
Speaker: Why is this guy tangling? But Jeff just leaves me hanging. So I got one of my packages. One of which packages? You're sideways again, Jeff. Yeah, it's weird. It won't let me turn the thing.
Speaker: I have to go like that. There you go. Yeah, but now I can't see what I'm looking at. Well, you don't have to look at anything because it's not like I'm reading the comments or anything like that. Yeah. All right. Yeah, sorry. I had to get my daughter some medicine. She's got a little fever. She can't seem to stay out of the rain because... Yeah, it happens. Yeah.
Speaker: Well, now that you're... Hopefully done with your interruptions. Yeah, so is it that testicles fit in those fishes' mouths just quite nicely? That's not a small fish. I mean, it's not big fish, but it's not small. Well... It could be worse. Could be... There's that fish in, like, the Amazon or some shit that swims up your dick hole. That's an arrow on my... Yeah, it was still...
Speaker: You can't like pee it. You can't pee in the water because it will swim up the stream. Yeah. Yeah. No, not playing that game either. Well, we can go from, um, accidentally showing your booby to your employees on Snapchat eating fish. And we can go to one of our favorite places of all Florida. Got to love Florida.
Speaker: Florida town accidentally sells municipal water town. That just sounds like somebody's stupid. I'm paying attention. Yeah. Well, that sounds like Florida. It says in Brooksville, Florida, which Brooksville is not too far out of Tampa.
Speaker: And I only know that because again, I listened to radio out of Tampa all day long before I listened. I listened to the professionals before I listened to our retarded asses. So I happen to know that Brooksville is in that regional area. And it's a small town. It's like a Poe dunk ass, uh, back, backwoods, corn fed, like tight hillbilly town. Right.
Speaker: from what everybody says. Unlike the, uh, overly populated Newport Richie, uh, or overly prostituted populated Newport. Kevin's from nice. Oh, and by the way, Kevin, if you're listening, you don't need to send me 10 notifications about your podcast, dude. One is sufficient. He sent me 10 dude, tag me in 10 different posts.
Speaker: They they what it was is they tagged you in the video and in the live feed Okay, and then it was over last night. He hosted it in a whole bunch of different podcasting Pages, right? So and each one of those sent me it. Okay. Yeah, I Was seriously I turned on my phone last night. I was like what the fuck dude. I
Speaker: Yeah, I see that last night. I was like, I'm gonna kick Kimbitt's ass. I swear to God, I didn't want to follow this stupid ass fucking down anyways. I only followed it because, oh, because his co -host, who... I...
Speaker: enjoyed aggravating the piss out of last night because she doesn't like it when you call her dude and Kevin kept calling her dude so then I started calling her bro in the comments and then also she I was making fun of her for being old but uh she was like hunched over and she had like her granny glasses on
Speaker: Nice way. She was like hunched over and sitting. She looked like the you remember Looney Tunes, Sylvester and Tweety. She looked like the old lady that kept. Yeah, she looked like. Yeah, she looked like like the old granny that for Sylvester and I was dying. I was fucking laughing. But.
Speaker: But, um, but yeah, then you had that, and then she was tagging every, that's why I told Summer to go on a tagging spree like they were because. No kidding. But I mean, I understand he has to, because his main account, he can't keep himself out of trouble and he keeps going to Facebook jail. So, you know, he has to have 45 fake accounts so that he can still be on Facebook.
Speaker: And I'm like, at one point, I was like, I'm pretty sure this is the same episode. Yep. Same episode. Yep. Same episode. Yep. Same episode. But the cool thing about that tag was that I wouldn't join all those podcast groups. Right. That I could, I could, you know, I don't tag anybody because we go perhaps on the Facebook. So I can't tag anybody, but I can share it out into all those podcasting groups. Right.
Speaker: So that was one good thing. It's an easy way to find more podcasting groups. Cause if you look up podcasting groups, most of them are like, the rules are just ridiculous. You're like, fuck that. I don't have time for it. Yeah. So, but so you got that Florida dummy and now, and now I love him to death, but he's a Florida dummy. Now I'm in Brooksville. So they sold their water tower.
Speaker: So it says a small town in Florida accidentally sold its water tower at a blunder, a blundered real estate transactions were trans transactions, transaction. Oh man. A businessman purchased the building underneath the city, uh, underneath the city of Brookville's water tower last April for $55 ,000. Hmm. Nice. That's pretty cheap. I guess it's just an, it was like an old municipal building. So.
Speaker: Oh, okay. But it was underneath, so it could have been a very big building if it was underneath the water tower with the goal of converting it into a gym. However, when Bobby right into the, went to the county to get an address for his new business location, he was told that the parcel he bought included the entire water tower site, according to Tampa Bay Times. Nice.
Speaker: Reed was willing to give it back. I would have kept that motherfucker. I would have, I would have blackmailed. I said, look, I want Main Street to be on my shit. I'm like, no, this is, this is my water tower. We're going to rename it. What the fuck was that guy's name? Sorry. We're renaming this the Bobby Reed water tower.
Speaker: fuck you. I want my logo for my business on said water tower. And then I might consider giving it back. Exactly. But it says luckily for the town where he was willing to give it back. County records show he transferred the water tower back to Brooksville through a warrant, a warranty deed last month.
Speaker: the town of 8 ,500 residents located. There you go. 50 miles north of Tampa. So 8 ,500. That's, that's not small. It's not big. No, it's not big. But when I left Belleville, it was, uh, in, in, in city, quote unquote, same limits was like third 3000. Yeah. It's probably,
Speaker: So 85 letters, more than that. It's a lot more than 3000 now. I'll tell you that. I'm sure it is. Bill was a lot different than what it was when you left. Yeah. I don't know where the blame falls said Blake Bell, a city council member or council member. Somebody's bad in the book. Yeah.
Speaker: Well, he's like, it wasn't me. He said, he said, we're council members and we rely on the city manager. We assume that he's done his due diligence. So he passed it off to the city manager. The city manager is like the fuck. So city manager, Mark Cutney, Mark Cutney, blame the use of a bad legal description for what happens. The city, the city's redeveloped redevelopment agency director reassigned.
Speaker: after the accidental sale. We're human. Sometimes we make mistakes. So he passed it off to the redevelopment agency. It's a big thing of everybody passing the buck because nobody wants to take blame for it because they're going to get voted out of office. Because they all look like fucking dummies. Fucking jackholes. That is I would totally blackmail the whole town. Like I want my logo on it.
Speaker: for at least 10 years and a billboard. Yeah, exactly. I like those pretty girls with cute shirts. I like the hoodie. Chris is shopping. No, I'm not shopping. Summer got some package delivered and she sent me pictures of her her new shirts and stuff. So with the boob. No. Good to see the boobies.
Speaker: I'm so jealous right now. So of the shirts, shirts, the bra, the Snapchat, her seatbelt, her purse. I'm so glad I don't have Snapchat because that would have popped up on my feed. My wife would have seen it and be like, what the, who the fuck are you? What are you talking to summer for? I'm like, oh, relax. I'm sure she didn't do it on purpose.
Speaker: And I'm like, listen to this episode and you'll, you'll hear the whole story. She's like, I told you, if I told you once, I told you a million times, I'm not listening to your shitty podcast with your stupid friends. She's like, this is all excuse. Give me a listen to the podcast. I'm like, see? Let's just see. Summer says that's just Stevie. Well, just because I have plenty of pics does not mean I don't enjoy new pics.
Speaker: Yes. Yeah. It's like, you know, my wife gets naked all the time. It doesn't mean I don't look. It's always a show for me. I'm like, whoo. She's like, what are you doing? I'm like, well, you're getting ready to go to shower, aren't you? So yeah, you're naked. Yeah. Well, I'm looking. Shut up. I'm going to join you.
Speaker: Oh, that's cool. The world. Well, yeah. Well, you got another story. They don't change. They don't have to change. I still like them. That's the point. This is one thing that females don't understand about males. We don't have boobs. So we're fascinated. We like to touch. We like to look. We like to feel.
Speaker: And even if we did have boobs, it wouldn't be the same. Yeah. And especially if they're on our significant other, and then we enjoy them even more. Yeah. That's what they say. If your man's having a bad day, boobs. Send him boobs. Yes. Just not on Snapchat, apparently. Or make sure that you're actually sending them to him on Snapchat and not to the rest of the world. I don't even know how to Snapchat works because I've never had it.
Speaker: Yeah, I've never, I've never, it's, it's a lot. I understand the concept. It's basically like messenger. Yeah. It's, it's a lot like your Facebook story where you can, you can post stuff on your story and it only stays up for 24 hours and then it goes away. Or you can do messages like you can send messages back and forth and you can do.
Speaker: you know, video pictures or text or whatever, but generally you can change your settings where usually most times it's like, if you send a picture or something to somebody, it deletes as soon as they open it. But at the same time, Snapchat is also a little snitch ass bitch. And if you screenshot it, Snapchat will be like, I screenshot it back here. Just how you know.
Speaker: So, you know, this person snapped at it and I'm like, that's why I use two phones. See, that's why Chris has two phones. Aha, I figured it out. No, I don't have to have two phones because someone knows. I'm going to take screenshots. I get yelled at sometimes for taking screenshots. It's a good way to cheat. I don't know. I've never cheated on anybody. So I would say that's that's that would be
Speaker: Too much of a temptation for me. And I know I'm not a perfect person, so I try to stay away from stuff that's going to get me in trouble. Well, you need to be better. That's why I stay off fucking Snapchat and shit. I got enough shit to go live on and all that crap. You should be able to avoid temptation. That's why I stay off Snapchat. That's how I avoid temptation.
Speaker: Plus, if you actually had Snapchat, it would probably just be me on there, and it would just be you and I talking back and forth, much like Messenger. Look what I built. Summer said, do better, Jeff. Be better. Do better, Jeff. Be better. That's why I stay my little happy ass on the apps that I know that if I do something bad on it, then the whole world's going to know, so I don't do stuff bad on it. Yeah. You're going to get caught. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, so I just well I you know, I I don't I have no desire to be with anybody else but my wife so By avoiding the temptation 100 % I have no problem I mean granted Christina Ricci Ryan Reynolds or Kevin Costner walking the door. It's a different story, you know My whole past has just walked in yeah
Speaker: My free passes are here, honey. Don't come home. But yeah, I mean, that's, that's, that's the only time I'm, uh, you know, it was like in that episode of friends, you know, I don't have mine laminated or anything, but you know, Christina reaches on my list. She's number one on my list of my freebies. My list was, uh,
Speaker: canceled, null and void. Summer wouldn't give you a free pass for, for, you know, some celebrity. I really only have one that would be my end all be all and that just makes me sound weird. I was going to say, who's your celebrity that you would, you would totally risk it.
Speaker: because I've been in love with her since I was like eight years old. Oh, you got to tell me who now. Oh, I love that bit. I just watched tremors the other day. I have been in love with her since I was like my son's age and I still love her to this day. I don't know what it is. I just, it's one of my biggest celebrity crushes all the time.
Speaker: Reva Mactyre. She's only like, what? 30 years older than you? No, she's not that much older than me. She's only like, um, you know, she's a, we're just stalling. Yeah. Yeah. You try to get out of it. She's only 26 years older than me.
Speaker: She's older than my dad. Nice. Now see, my dad, my dad had a thing for Loretta Lynn. Well, he'd love him some Loretta Lynn. I'm like, really? Never really. I never really saw the attraction there, but okay.
Speaker: Yeah. Well, I mean, she, when, when, when Loretta Lynn was younger, she was, she was a, she was an attractive woman. Yeah. But I mean, you, you watch something like coal miners daughter and you're like, wow, 60 space act Loretta Lynn. That's two different people. 100%. Jesus Christ. We're going to go down this road again, aren't we? Yes, we are. You're the whole, you're the whole reason that a straight person can't play a gay person in a movie. No, no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker: Yeah, I don't know. I love that fucking movie, but. They're like my wife and I just watched the series, Selena. About the. Yeah, go ahead. Summer's man crushes have pretty eyes, apparently. Who's her man crush? I can draw Butler, Dr. McSteen. Oh, give me a fucking break.
Speaker: I think she's a typical woman. Basically, a dude on TV that's breathing is he's got a pulse, right? I'm gonna fuck him. No, I have two big like I have Reba and my other my other big crush is in another one that I've been in love with since I was a kid was Jamie Lee Curtis. Wow. Okay, I can see Jamie.
Speaker: Jamie's a good looking woman. Uh, no, I've always had the Christina Ricci and I think, I think my other one is, um, Oh, I literally just thought of her two seconds ago. Um, she was in spiderman. Uh, Oh, Oh my gosh. It's literally just popped in my head. She was in small soldiers and spiderman and
Speaker: And I used to kind of like well, I like Reese but what's it's it's starts with an a oh My gosh, that's gonna drive me nuts and I recently about two years ago got off the Alice and Mac train Because that chicks out there Do you hear about that chick from Smallville?
Speaker: from Smallville. Yeah, she was in that cult. That was I was like, Okay, I'm out. Yeah, with like the sex trafficking. Well, she basically had she was procuring sex slaves for people. Thank you. That's her. Love that girl. Beautiful. Lots of them. Not every dude says summer.
Speaker: Yeah, just the ones who I do like. I do like Christina Ricci. I wouldn't say she was a crush, but I do like Christina Ricci. I mean, obviously there's chicks that are pretty hot, but it's not like I wouldn't say. I'm not going to say no to Scarlett Johansson or anything walking in the door, but I'm saying. I'm going to sit for my ultimate free pass.
Speaker: you're gonna laminate that shit but uh no my end all for celebrity crush is Christina yeah go ahead I do have I do have a a uh probably strong uh I can't think of the word attraction yeah a strong attraction to Ryan Reynolds for being a dude
Speaker: Yeah, you know what? I'm, I'm, I'm secure enough in my manhood to say he's a good looking cat. I mean, not only that, he looks like a guy you could just go out and have a fucking beer with. Yeah. So I was gonna say like, he's got that, like you could literally go out on the town with that guy. You're not going to get any chicks because you're standing next to Ryan Reynolds, but, but, and not even because he's famous because he's a good looking dude.
Speaker: Well, maybe he's a good wingman and you might get checked out. Yeah, maybe. You know, well, you also get the fallout. You know, stepping on grenades all night. You act like you're going to be stepping on grenades for the fallout. Oh, damn. You take the 10s. I guess I'll take the 7s and 8s. Oh, man.
Speaker: I'm like, you know, Ryan, two fives still make a 10, bitch. Come, ladies. Let's go. I graduated in math. No, but I mean, I had a buddy of mine down here. He actually, I own an internet cafe and he owned a laundry and we shared a wall.
Speaker: He's, he's, he's one of those pretty boys, you know, and you go out with that dude. You're just like, yeah, I'm just here holding up the wall because that dude was literally surrounded by chicks the whole night. And you're like, yeah, well, but you do get the fallout. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes fallout's not bad sometimes. I mean, well, you know, you know, you know what they say about, you know, the fallout. It's like riding a moped. It's fun until your friends find out.
Speaker: or, you know, and it's a security thing. Your friends are too bad. Tried to be Joe cool guy. And you're like, well, you know, I've never, I got, I went home with a woman and you went home with four dudes. But I've never been, I've never been caught up on the looks.
Speaker: It's more personality thing because a good looking woman with a bad attitude, Mitch starts stepping, but a chick that's just average and she's funny and she's personable. So you can talk to her. I'm in. So you're that guy. Oh, I'm that guy. My standards are very low. You're a fall guy. So you have no problem taking totally all subject, but squirrel. Yeah. Something just sent me a Snapchat video.
Speaker: Of your boobs? Of my boobs? Well, I've heard boobs, you know what I mean? I guess her boobs are my boobs. No. Yeah. Typically, I would say our son, but I'm going to say her son. Right. Standing in the middle of the road, just taking a piss. Nice. Got a little piker out, just taking a piss. Not a care in the world. Good on him. Good on him. She's on the porch. Put that little thing away.
Speaker: Well, you know, that's that's the age where you're allowed to get away with shit like that. I mean, if I did that in the middle of the street, people call it cops. I'm like, what the fuck? I just had to pee. There's nothing going on here. Just doing.
Speaker: It's nature, man. Yeah. Sir, just because you look like a grizzly bear does not mean you are a grizzly bear. You cannot piss in the middle of the river. What if I go? They're like taser, taser, taser.
Speaker: No, I mean that I mean back in the day That's that's what you did when you're not running around goofing off of your friends run all the way home fuck that I'll go find a tree or a bush
Speaker: I mean, they also middle the road, it's kind of different, but they also live in town where we. Good point. Yeah. His neighbor was like a mile away. Yeah. I say that. And I can't be upset with you because I'm also the guy that would play video games all night long with my buddy. And instead of going upstairs to take a piss, we'd walk out the front door and I'd be like, you go left. I go. Oh, I've played, I've played that game. Hell yeah. I've played that game.
Speaker: cars, cars drive by. Hey, how's it going? It's a wave. You got stick in your dick in one hand beer in the other hand. Yeah. I mean, that's what, that's what front door is for, isn't it? Or like, you know, we used to, what's up? How old was up, bro. Yeah.
Speaker: No, but I mean, that, that goes to the, goes back to Liam Neeson line from one of my favorite movies is he's like, Hey, it's my land. I'll walk out the door and take a piss on it if I want. Yeah. Well, I mean, the great thing about being a man is the world is our bathroom. Yes, it is. Any, any, any place, any time we got a piss, we can do with it out to go. I mean, that's one of those good things about having a hose. Yep. A straw in my case.
Speaker: But either way, coffee stir going on.
Speaker: This is one of those girly straws that have goofy straws that curl up in their glasses, too. Yeah! What the hell? I was born this way. I don't understand. I was born this way. I'm swirly. I'm swirly. I'm a pleasure. All of a sudden, I'm no bro. That's hilarious.
Speaker: I was telling Kevin, or not Kevin, Jeff, about fucking with you at Kevin's show last night. And I also did discover last night when you were, when you were, my eyes are black because I'm a soulless demon. My eyes do actually look black. I was going to say, what the hell? For a second there, I was like, you got sunglasses on? No. Colin, don't take this the wrong, don't take this the wrong way. But I discovered last night who you remind me of.
Speaker: when, when you were, when you were, uh, had your glasses on and you were hunched over and you were like leaning into the microphone. You need to get yourself a little shawl and a little dress and a little, little black eye heels.
Speaker: And I was laughing and I was laughing my ass like I was over here almost crying, laughing so hard at myself for thinking that was the first time I've ever laughed so hard when I listened to Kevin Hollis. Oh, shot across the bow. That's a lot. That's a lot. Kevin SS. Look at my fucking partner's team. What the hell? Well, you can't look at it, but
Speaker: Don't show your tan your shirt. It's not really rude. Granny was awesome. Granny was a badass man. Yeah, she was actually she was because she she used to beat the hell out of Sylvester. Oh, yeah. She bought us some some muggers. The other one I liked was the the witch.
Speaker: She had basically the same stance as the granny, but she would she would cackle and jump up and click her heels together. The funniest thing I've ever seen. And then, of course, me and my cousins and all our friends would try to do the same thing. Oh, Kevin, because we thought it was because because he's above. Oh, he he big time means much like Hoppy big time to him. Please. No, I what the fuck are we even talking about? What was that?
Speaker: Uh, what the fuck? Yeah, I lost my chair. I don't know. I missed it. I forgot my coffee straw. Yeah. Oh, you're talking about, uh, uh, summer's kid outside taking a piss. Oh yeah. Wow.
Speaker: I know absolutely nothing about what I'm talking about right now, Jeff. But now, Holland, that's basically how I'm the same way. I'm over here in Switzerland while those two situate their relationship. Happy is a friend of, well, eight acquaintance of ours.
Speaker: who does a podcast. And that's actually how Kevin and I met, because we were in the chat room of Hoppy's podcast. I was one of, if not the first listener for Hoppy when he moved to Tampa, because he works for the radio station down there. And over the last year or so, Hoppy's gotten a wild burr up his ass. But him and Kevin were super close for a minute. And Hoppy was doing a Hoppy hour at Kevin's studio. And then all of a sudden, Hoppy just
Speaker: dipped and block Kevin and all kinds of fucked up shit. But like I said, the last, mainly the last few months, Hoppy's gotten a real bug up his ass where all of a sudden he, he thinks he's Ken Dick. Yeah. He thinks he's better. King of the podcast. He's the, I'm Joe Rogan of the podcast. Like he's been getting, he's been getting more and more airtime on, on the radio station down there in Tampa, but nobody really knows what happened between him and Kevin. Like I said, he just dipped and then blocked the hell out of Kevin and
Speaker: Well, it's it's that's that goes back to the some people's fame or or a little bit of you know Give them an inch. They think they're a ruler kind of thing The people like that just pissed me off. Yeah Yeah, I think that's what it boiled down to is at the end of the day Hoppy not Kevin Hoppy at the end of the day Holland Holland
Speaker: who I was talking about, Kevin or Hoppy. At the end of the day, I think it was one of those things where Hoppy used Kevin for the time being, and then once he didn't need him anymore, he was just over, and then he got... Yeah, he was like, fuck you, I'm bad -ass, and like, please. And like, Hoppy yelled at me for calling him. There's another radio personality that nobody likes out of Florida. If you do like him, it's because you're a fucking loser, bubble of lunch.
Speaker: And I call everybody Bubba, like it's not even that big of a thing to me. I just call everybody Bubba. And I called Hoppy one time and Hoppy was like, don't you ever call me that again? I'm like, calm down our chief. Calm down Bubba. I have to delete this post and everything else. It's just a word I use. Yeah. Well, that, like I said, some people just take things way too far.
Speaker: Yeah, it's like, you know, like, Kevin and I, I've busted Kevin's balls since the day I met him. That's how some of the greatest I mean, we, you and I did the same thing, you know, day one. And that's, that's how great friendships are made. Oh, what happened? Oh,
Speaker: Holland said that Bubba the Love Sponge asked her out like eight months ago. She was like, yeah, no.
Speaker: Hey, a little sponge was one of these guys that that that came up in the 90s and got pretty popular, but he's the last 10 or he's the Paulie Shore. He's like Paulie Shore. He it's just he's a dirt bag. He's a scumbag. OK, so he's not only like the last 10 years or 15, 15 years or so, a lot of things have been coming out about him. And like some people that came up with him, he's just really screwed him over and
Speaker: You know, he's just a jack off. I mean, just Google bubble love sponge. I know that's probably a lot for to ask of you. And that sounds like a lot. Yeah, you'll kind of see kind of everything. But he's he's based out of he's based out of Tampa. OK. And and what a shit name. Yeah. Well, he's just he's about he's about five foot tall. He's a fat slob. Seriously, he embarrassed me in public. I don't know how many times.
Speaker: The first time he embarrassed me in public, I was like 23 and he continued. Bubble loves Monday's Christ. Y 'all got some kind of, maybe you should go out. No, string him along, string him along, string him along, getting revenge. There's nothing better than revenge. Oh, string him along. He'd be perfect for the puck. Fuck yeah. String him along. Like do the, the, who was it? Um,
Speaker: The talk show host that that does like late night or something and he kept telling Matt Damon. Oh, Matt Damon. Sorry. We had no more time for you. Do shit like that. Like we're going to bring you on. Oh, we're ran out of time. Jimmy Kimmel. Yeah. Jimmy Kimmel is like, oh, we ran out of time. Sorry. You know, every fucking time Jimmy Kimmel and Matt Damon fuck with each other. Yeah. Yeah. But do it. Do it in a malice sense.
Speaker: Do it for ratings, Holland. Look at me trying to help another show. Another show whose host can't find the time to come in here for five minutes and say hi. He did share the live tonight on one of his fake accounts on one of his fake accounts.
Speaker: and and and we'll get we'll get like 45 mentions from from said post now I won't uh I don't mean I won't continuously bust his balls but no that's half the fun that's I mean that's what's for if you can't make fun of your friends who can you make fun of right Holland Holland you're a co -host and all you the only words you can get out is high because much like Kevin doesn't know how to shut the fuck up
Speaker: I gotta be relevant. I've got a co host with a host man. Oh my goodness. Who's shop?
Speaker: I don't know. She said, what am I chopped liver? I don't know why she's chopped liver. I just stood up for her. I told her why she's the only reason she can say hi is because Kevin won't, she, she, I was listening to last night. I was dying because she kept telling Kevin to shut up. Kevin was like, Kevin was like hauling. So blah, blah, blah. And she'd start to talk and then he'd go, she's like, shut up. Shut the fuck up.
Speaker: Anyways, that's enough Kevin Hawley show talk. Yeah, I was gonna say, I thought this was nonsensical nonsense, which you can find on on TikTok, you can find on rattle it off, dude, because I only know the one.
Speaker: I was like, it's time to bet. It's time for ads. Let's do some, this is, this is going to be good. This guy actually knows where we are on social media, on social media, dude. It's easy. It's Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Tik TOK all under nonsensical nonsense, Spotify, where you can get every single episode of this train wreck and nonsense. And if you want to email us, you can email some nonsensical nonsense podcasts at gmail .com.
Speaker: See, I have my one job. I'm good at it. I don't try to deal with the other shit. Give this guy a fucking gold star. Give the give the doggy a bone here. Let me do my one. My one bit that I'm actually good at. You'll give me. I would say you have one job, but it's the only job I can get you to do is spout out the Gmail account that nobody gives a nobody uses, you know.
Speaker: who are who are our sponsors? I didn't even know all of them. You only have marijuana .com. Oh and iron. I tried to I told Mike Peters he needs to add us on to the iron. That'd be pretty cool. But you got a lot of conspiracy theories and political nut jobs. So we would be yeah, that's we'd be a nice we'd be a nice refreshing drink of water on there. Amen to that. We'd be a cool drink of water on a hot summer's day.
Speaker: We technically don't have any sponsors. We do have a sponsor. We are looking anchor. We do have a sponsor through anchor, which is not really. So far we've made 50 cents. Actually we've made a dollar and 10 cents. I just looked at it. I want my 50 cents bitch. The biggest conspiracy political nut job in the world. I love papper. You did that. Who is it?
Speaker: Pat Bergie, Pat Bergie, Pat shit crazy. He's a friend to Kevin, but he does conspiracy. He was in the military. I mean, he's, he knows what he's talking about. It's just not my cup of tea. I still love the dude. I love a good conspiracy. You know, I mean, I'll dive down that rabbit hole. Oh, you would like Bergie.
Speaker: I got to hang out with Berge a couple of times and I absolutely love him. I've enjoyed sitting down and having beer with him and bullshitting and everything else. But, you know, he's, he'll get onto the conspiracy theories, but he's easy enough to steer away from him because, you know, that's just, you know, I'm a smart ass. So yeah, I was going to say the only problem about hanging out with a conspiracy guy, it's like, yeah, you kind of want to break every once in a while, I guess. Yeah. But he doesn't, that's not all. He just does. I mean, when you're in person, he doesn't know that.
Speaker: He's not that guy who's just like, Oh, it's not like you're hanging out with Bob Lazar. That guy's stories are fucking weird, man. I wouldn't know. I wouldn't know because I love to have it. Well, they got that documentary on Netflix about Bob Lazar and I dove deep into it. Jesus. I was headfirst ready to rock.
Speaker: And my wife woke up and she's like, turn that shit off. Okay. Yeah. No, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, there's not a place in my life for the conspiracy theories, the ball political nonsense or the left or the right. Well, well, here's the thing. Like political stuff is kind of like me watching. It's like you watching the Browns for me.
Speaker: You know, you watch the Bronx and you're like, I watched the political left and right and I'm sitting there with popcorn and a beer going, fuck, tell it. And we're back. I don't know what the hell just happened there. Guess who gets to do some editing this weekend? I remember that. That's a weird thing. It's not you. Shut up. I wasn't saying me. I wasn't even remotely claiming it was going to be me.
Speaker: I don't know what happened. Um, I truly don't. Uh, it just, it completely shut down on my end. Completely shut down. Yeah, that's weird. So I can, I can see that you, that you were still alive. Um, yeah, but my screen was frozen. Like I couldn't hit. I couldn't see the live or nothing. It just, uh, and now I'm all zoomed in and I can't figure out why.
Speaker: Yeah, perhaps it's not like us today. Is there my chin? I don't know. I really don't know what just happened there. Again, I thank God I did all the work for the other one today before we went live because this one's going to be
Speaker: a bit interesting, trying to, trying to edit and, and, and cut and splice. But, you know, we start a little bit of time to, to, to fill. Um, so I wanted to go ahead and make sure we got our, got our full time in, you know, all that three minutes left. Now we, we only, we only got about an hour and 25 minutes. Oh, well, there you go. But still, I mean,
Speaker: You know, I like to get to full two hours. I, I, I, I hate the episodes that we don't get to do the full two hours. Uh, it just feels like we gave up. I'm not about giving up. That's that's the, oh, shit. That could be the issue. Well, it's been pissing down rain here for the past three days. We got a hurricane off the coast.
Speaker: Yeah, I heard about that. Actually, this morning, the first the first tropical storm of the season. Yeah, so it's a normal day. I still went to Oxo. You know, I still walk my 20 minute walk to go to the store. I you know, when you walk in the rain, okay, like from your car to the door, do you shrug your shoulders kind of duck down, you know, do the whole thing? No, I struck.
Speaker: I do too. I do too. I'm just like, fuck. I walk like it's normal sunny day because at the end of the day, it's just fucking water. That just means I don't have to take a shower. I would, I wouldn't go that far, but I mean, but this is also obviously a joke, but I'm also, but I'm also a guy who takes a shower once, once every other week. So yeah, I don't, well, that's why I go. That's why I bought a house with a pool so I can just jump in a pool and be like, yeah, I showered. I have bathed.
Speaker: I have done my due diligence, but the, the problem is like it floods over by one in the, in the, on the way to the store that I go to. And so today I was like, Oh, I'll avoid it. And it's, it's not pissing down at this point, but it's, it's, it's a nice steady rain. And so there's two stores I can go do to get my cigarettes and accept my, my debit card.
Speaker: Because the little mom and pops obviously don't have debit card. So Well, I have to go that well, obviously, you know, so I like I have to go to the chain Store, so I go to what do you what do you mean? Obviously? Well, obviously you have to go to the chain store if you only have your card Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. Really because up here I could use my card literally anywhere Well, no. Well, the thing is like I
Speaker: Uh in order to get a credit card machine to like read that read the you know The stores have it you have to have all this other crap Before you can do it it's and it's like really weird. It's not as easy as it is in the states So the most of the mom and pop shops don't have them
Speaker: Yeah, exactly. So I have to walk to the the chain store. It's called oxo. So I go, I'm like, well, it's flooded through there. I'm wearing jeans and tennis shoes. I'm not gonna walk through a giant puddle. And then have to still walk another 15 to 20 minutes to get to the store and back so genes for because it because I was working. You gave me shit about
Speaker: OSHA. Video me working in sandals and shorts. We're gonna circular salt two inches from my toe. You're like having a fucking heart attack. It was your it was your it was your homemade table saw that you were using that was wobbly while you're wearing shorts and sandals. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. You got to do what you got to do. But so I go to the the secondary I don't normally go to the
Speaker: the one oxo because it's, it's an extra three minute walk. Oh my God. And I get, yeah, I know. You know, you know, you know how much happier your wife would be if you gave her an extra three minutes. You're funny. So, but what's me off is I get, I get over to the fucking chain store and it's closed first time in the entire.
Speaker: And oh, I was right through the window and don't get your cigarettes and leave a note. I thought about it. I was charging my card, motherfuckers. So I get over there. I got to walk, go walk back over the other one. Yeah. So by the time, you know, which means I got to cut through side, side roads, so to avoid puddles. So by the time I get there, I am soaked for the bone and I walk in and the one girl that knows me, she's always there at the time I pick up my cigarettes.
Speaker: And she's like, she looks at me and I go, it's raining. And she just starts dying laughing. Cause I am, I look like I literally just stepped out of the fucking pool. Yeah. I'm like there. I think the only part of me that dry, the only part of me dry was my asshole. I was just soaked to the bone. Well, I don't know. I didn't check. I didn't check. I know. I know you're going to ask.
Speaker: The whole time I'm going, I'm this wet. Where the fuck am I going to put my cigarettes? I was more worried about getting my cigarettes wet than me. So are your, are your cigarettes at least like a normal pack of cigarettes and they're wrapped in plastic and yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's I just normally on when I leave the store, first thing I do is light a cigarette.
Speaker: And I was like, well, it's pissing on rain. I'm not going to do it. I probably couldn't get my lighter light anyways. Yeah. But on the way back, I was like, should I avoid the puddles? Fuck it. I'm soaked. I just walked straight through them. The one goes about halfway up my shin and I'm like, fuck it. I don't give a fuck. You know, at that point, at that point, you, you've already been walking in the rain for God knows how long because exactly. Cause I had to go to two different stores instead of one.
Speaker: and then so at the end of the day my whole thing is my whole thing is i'm i'm going home it's not like i still have 40 things to do yeah at the end of the day you should have just walked in the fucking puddle in the first place in the first place yeah moral of the story yeah fuck it you know if it's wet learn to say fuck it if it's wet jump in if it's yeah
Speaker: easy easy easy you're looking for you're looking for something there you just didn't know i know you're searching you're digging dig dig that hole motherfucker dig that hole i'm derailed i did i know i wasn't even looking for something i just derailed i completely derailed i like
Speaker: I, I looked over, I looked over at the couch and my kids have these like digit toys and there's like one of these little poppet toys. Right. And I looked over at that and I just 100 % derailed because then I was like, I think he's got pretty colors. Yeah. I mean, it's rainbow colors, but no, I was just like, why is it on my couch? And that's been sitting there all week and it's Thursday. And this is the first time that I've noticed it.
Speaker: You just you just like if it's what just jump in if it's dry Literally
Speaker: I was so pissed by the time I got home. I walked in the downstairs bathroom, got naked, and told my son, bring me a towel and fresh clothes. Because I wasn't about to traipse water all through the house. It was bad enough. It's raining all the time. I would have. Your house is concrete. Get a squeegee and squeegee it out the front door. Oh, I got several squeegees.
Speaker: I don't mop my floor. I hose it down. Actually, I was going to ask you about that because my boss and I, we were talking the other day because, like I said, he's Israeli. And I hope I say that right because not that he'll listen to this, but if he ever hears it, I know he'll bust my balls. He won't get mad at me. He'll just bust my balls because that's... We spent the last three weeks...
Speaker: Well, we've spent the last three weeks writing together as I was training, just breaking each other's balls and being stupid the entire time. He's always looking for another jab. Yeah. Well, we both, we both, you know, so we were talking about, cause he was in the, he was in the Israeli army and he was talking about over there, all the houses are concrete.
Speaker: So yeah, they don't, they don't mop or vacuum their floors. They literally once or twice a week or how often it is. They, they, um, spray their floor down with a hose and then they squeegee it out the front. Well, see, I still, I still mop, but if, uh, about once a month I scrub and it's, you know, they're, they're one foot by one foot, uh, square tiles. And I'll literally get on my hands and knees and scrub each corner. What the hell was that?
Speaker: But But yeah, I I literally scrub scrub the floors because it's the fucked up thing is they use white grout And the grout nasty dirty, so I scrub the grout and
Speaker: Nice. So that my floors look good. Dude, I was, I was literally, I was listening to that episode today, episode 14. And, uh, I, uh, I almost messaged you and be like, dude, are you okay? Are you, are you alive? But then I was like, I already talked to him a couple of times today. So I know he's alive because there were several times in that episode where at any moment you could have killed her.
Speaker: I laughed so hard that I literally was like, yeah, I'm not working out for like a month. I was listening to it when I got
Speaker: When I got out of the truck at one of my stops and I was laughing and the customer was there and they're like, are you okay? And I'm like, yeah, hold on a second. So I paused and they're like, Oh, are you listening to something? I'm like, yeah, I'm listening to podcast. They're like, you're listening to.
Speaker: your own pop. I guess. Yeah. Not sensible nonsense on Spotify. Check it out. Don't check it out. Wait till I'm finished and you pay your bill. It'll be the last time we see you. But no, but there's something about that episode that's like, it's literally the funniest thing that I've ever been a part of. You know, I've, you know, don't be wrong. My wife and all my wife has a,
Speaker: She'll get these laughing fits. She actually got kicked out of class a bunch of times when she was in high school first laughing Yeah, same to disease that the Joker has Yeah You've seen the walking Phoenix Joker movie, right? Oh my god, that movie is terrible Big I thought it was a big piece of shit shut your whore mouth
Speaker: Oh, that was terrible. You scared me! That's not my Joker. I like Jared Leto's Joker. Let's see, you're... I know. Blasphemy. I'm not going to have this discussion. I can't. I'm not going to have this discussion with you. My favorite Joker is Heath Ledger. Heath Ledger is the best Joker. I'm not going to have this discussion with you. I'm not going to get on this road with you because Jared Leto was better than Ledger. And Jack Nicklaus was the best Joker.
Speaker: Oh, you're just stone. No, no, no, I, I did enjoy it. Ultimate Batman movie. Heath Ledger is Joker. Michael Keaton is Batman. And, um, George Clooney's nipples.
Speaker: That was so bad. You know what? That George Clooney movie is so bad. So bad. It was so campy. It's like watching Adam West again. No. No, I did like Ledger's Joker. I like Leto's Joker. Well, the other problem I have with Leto's Joker is he was too
Speaker: grandiose
Speaker: I know that Joker and that, because Batman and the DC universe has different variants of all their heroes and villains. And that Joker really, that Joker, Tony, Jack is the best. Tony D says, hey, what's up, brother? He invited us to go live on his podcast, on his live.
Speaker: He invited me earlier and I was in and out. I was trying to clean up the apartment a little bit and then cook myself some dinner and then get ready for this.
Speaker: So when did we record last Sunday? Sunday. Yeah, I am really live afterwards. And yeah, a lot, dude. Speaking of Sundays and speaking Wednesday and speaking of Marvel DC comic book nerdy shit. Have you checked out Loki yet?
Speaker: Yes, I have. And actually, Tony, Tony D read my damn mind, because that's exactly what I was going to, that's exactly where I was going with Jared Leto. He said Jared Leto is about to be Morbius. Really? Yes. And it looks killer. And it looks fucking awesome. So good. But yeah, Sunday night, Sunday night, I met a lot of really cool people Sunday night.
Speaker: Uh, at least hopefully you at least did some, you know, networking, like, Hey, check us out. You did. Cause a couple people did show up. Yeah. I met a lot of really cool people. Sunday night. Um, I drank an entire case of Budweiser, Sunday night, Budweiser. If you're listening, sponsor this guy right here. Did you see that, uh, that Boucher light, uh, cap that I sent you? No. That guy made on Tik TOK. I sent you a Tik TOK video on via Tik TOK.
Speaker: that is this guy, he does leather work and it's it actually attaches to the brim of your hat. And it's a Busch light logo and it's all painted and stained and I was fucking beautiful. I'm pretty sure I said that to you. Tony D, if you're a comic book nerd, you and I need to get together and we need to chitchat. Yeah. But yeah, but yeah, Sunday night I drank an entire case of Budweiser and I
Speaker: I was in a lot of lives. I went live a lot. I met a really, I met a whole bunch of really cool fucking people. Um, and, and, and because I work so much, I see all these guys going live and I'm like, man, I want to go in and, and, and like at least say hi, but I'm on, I'm on the road. I, I, I'm the same way. Unfortunately I have my kids and then, uh, by the time my kids go to bed and I can go live, my wife's home or, or it's so, it's so late that it's like, what's the fucking point?
Speaker: So yeah, as much as I would love to go live all the time. I can't have to work Monday because I'm unfortunately working Saturday this week. I got so much to do this weekend. I'm really open. I have, uh, uh, maybe one day off next week because I've got a bunch of stuff I gotta do. My fucking vacation is right. Like literally right around the corner. It's like 13 days away.
Speaker: I got to take the kids shopping. I got to get them some clothes. I've got to get possibly some luggage for them so they can pack. Uh, uh, something else I gotta, that I gotta, that I gotta do that I'll discuss with you offer. Yeah. We can't bring it up yet, but, um,
Speaker: But yeah, Sunday, it was cool. Actually, I reconnected my armpit stitches. I'm sorry for anybody watching this live. That's all right. My lower back was itching like crazy. My armpit. That's what the fuck I'm talking about. Oh, yeah. Tony D and I are about to fucking nerd out on Haps. But what the hell was I talking about?
Speaker: Oh, yes. So actually, the cool thing about Sunday night was not only did I did I meet a whole bunch of people, I was accused of being a troll. And, and they're like, No, wait, wait, wait, wait, he's not a troll. Give him give the guy a chance. And then they gave me a chance to let me come in there alive and
Speaker: And, uh, got to hang out, but I, I, uh, actually, um, I don't know if you want to say reconnected or, or caught back up with, uh, somebody from Periscope that I'd known back in those days. So that was, that was, that was pretty cool. Kinda. And I was drunk and Lord knows I was probably an asshole. I wasn't, I wasn't an asshole. I was just a drunk guy in the room, belligerent, belligerent, but that worked hard, belligerent.
Speaker: If you're, are you, are you an 80s and 90s kid? Tony, Tony D, if you're an 80s and 90s kid and you're a comic or a cartoon junkie, we can, we can still choose that. See, I never got into the whole Batman cartoon series. Well, cartoon junkie could, oh, speaking of cartoons from our childhood.
Speaker: Well, did you see 70s 80s? Oh, yeah. Cartoon head. Did you see what Kevin Smith has? I think Kevin Smith is a part of it on Netflix. No, what? Guess guess what they're bringing back, man. No, they're doing the clerk's cartoon. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker: cartoon from our childhood. They're bringing back fucking. Fraggle rock. Oh, he man. No shit. And it looks bad ass. Dude. I seen the trailer. Cartoon. Nice. There. It's not. It's not ruled by it. But yeah, of course I remember Fraggle rock. Well, I saw a TikTok the other day. They're filming Fraggle rock. Netflix. Yes.
Speaker: Yeah, so human and Netflix is bringing human back and it's not Japanese anime, Chinese anime. It's full on old school. Well, it's got a new, obviously new artists, new just, but it looks so bad ass. And I'm like, yes.
Speaker: So much like, much like, um, Sunday morning when I got up and had three bowls of captain crunch and watch say by the hell, when he made, when he made comes out on Netflix, guess who's fat ass is going to be sitting right here eating captain crunch, watching him at 40 years old. Hell yeah, dude. I'm in for that. I love me. I remember right. It was like, uh,
Speaker: sophomore year, right before I went to the Career Center, one of the guys in my class, he was being an ass and for some reason he had the He -Man theme song stuck in his head. And the teacher made him stand up and sing it. And we all fucking joined in singing the He -Man. It was fucking awesome. The teacher fucking got pissed.
Speaker: You say that and something like that happened to us when I was in eighth grade and it kind of became a staple. We were in English class in I think seventh or eighth grade. And one of the guys on the football team was humming. I think it was Amazing Grace. Okay. Which the English teacher then proceeded to make him stand up and sing it.
Speaker: in front of the whole class, but not just him. Everybody else that was on the football team in that class had to get up and sing with him. And it just so happened that it was on a game day. So every game day, that became a thing where we had to go into, where we went into her English class and we had to sing. I think it was amazing grace. I could be wrong. Fuck it was 20 plus years ago, but I just remember, uh, my, well, you knew Seth Darr. He was an automotive.
Speaker: Oh, yeah. Yeah, he actually he was sitting there humming it or something and teachers, the teacher, he was our our FFA agricultural teacher. He was he was like, That's enough. He's like, I sorry, I stuck in my fucking head. And he says, he says, Well, why don't you just sing it and get it out of your head. So he stands up and start singing He Man.
Speaker: And like nine of us just stood up and started joining in and the teacher got all pissed because we joined in. And that every time I hear that he meant theme song, that pops in my head that day. It was fucking hilarious.
Speaker: I don't I haven't what I do. I do dig the Transformers on Netflix. I have Tony D said he binged Robotech Transformers and Green Lantern cartoons on Netflix. Tony D, if you've got HBO or HBO Max, they got they got DC cartoons for days. Nice. That damn hard. That damn Harley Quinn show that damn Harley Quinn cartoon that they did on on on on on HBO.
Speaker: It's not good. Oh, it's fucking hilarious. Oh, actually, actually, they got the Harley Quinn sees the Harley Quinn TV show just got in trouble recently. Yeah, it was on sci fi originally because they wanted to do a scene where Batman was eating out Catwoman.
Speaker: Nice. Which is, which is, if you, well, that's easy to see. You remember Red Dog Beer? What? Cover the eyes on the Red Dog, Red Dog Beer. You remember, you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, I think, I think so. Red Dog. Yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. If you cover the eyes on, on the, on the bulldog that's on there, it looks like Batman eating Catwoman. Huh. Well, no, no, no. They wanted, this was going to be a scene in the cartoon.
Speaker: This is not a kid's cartoon. Batman going down. Nice. That's not kid show at all. Yeah, no. The Harley Quinn show is not a kid's cartoon by no means. Oh, definitely. Check that out. But yeah, they got in trouble because they wanted to do a scene where Batman was eating out Catwoman. And they're like, yeah, no, that's not going to happen. Disney Plus does some really good classics.
Speaker: Did Chris and Jeff write this episode? I'm like, yes, we did. That sounds like something we would totally do. If we were in charge of a cartoon, we'd be like, we got to get Batman and Ethan both in. They're like, really? Seriously? I'm like, yeah. That's the one thing, if you look back at those 80s, 90s cartoons that you saw on Saturday morning, you're like, yeah, none of these characters even think about getting laid.
Speaker: Well, I mean, like, like, like one of the episodes, Harley, because Harley breaks, Harley breaks up with, uh, uh, with, uh, Voltron. I can get down. I haven't watched. I haven't watched. I haven't seen Voltron in years. Um, but, uh, yeah, Harley breaks up with Joker and that's the whole premise of the show. Like she breaks up with him. She's going out on her own. She's doing her own thing. It's a pretty kind of thing.
Speaker: Yeah, she puts her own crew together. And she's got, I can't remember the psycho doctor's name, but he joins her crew because he gets in trouble for calling Wonder Woman a cunt. And it's 2020, it's still woke. But he literally calls Wonder Woman. He's like, you fucking cunt. And everybody freaks out. He's like on television shows. Sorry. He's like his sex is big.
Speaker: But they Harley was trying to find her nemesis and fucking robin kept showing up She was like you're a fucking kid I totally need to check that out. It's gonna be awesome No, I totally need to check that out I need a good adult well for the past couple days When when the kids go to bed and stuff I watch wreck and Morty because holy crap. That shit's hilarious. I
Speaker: I can't get down with Rick and Morty. You've been doing your wife first. No, my wife passes out. What are we talking about, pretty girl? You're not watching Hannah Montana anymore? No, we finished it. We finished it and we watched the movie and wow, the movie was a big piece of shit. Damn, the movie was a big piece of shit. Like we literally shut it off and we're like, we'll finish this another day. This is terrible. I was like, all right, you go to sleep. I'm watching Rick and Morty.
Speaker: him and his wife are watching. Well, see, here's the problem. Here's the thing. I, uh, I like TV series and I've run out of TV series to look to watch. Have you ever watched scrubs? Love it.
Speaker: Well, I started. I fucking love scrubs. I've watched. I've watched that entire series. I've seen every episode. Yeah. Well, I really like how I met your mother. Love me some true blood. I've seen true blood like nine times.
Speaker: Yeah. I liked how I met your mother. It was, it was, it was, it was pretty good. Barney was always better than Fred's. Well, it's confirmed. It's confirmed that the new how I met your father is going to be, um, I think, uh, Hillary Duff is going to play Barney's kid. Oh my God. Cause at the end of the, at the end of how I met your mother, Barney has a kid and it's a girl. Yeah.
Speaker: Well, they don't. So I think she's going to be her kid. They don't need to do it. They don't need to do it. Summer's apparently watching Grey's Anatomy and crying. So probably I can't, I can't watch. There was probably a 14 plane pile up on the subway. Yeah. Because all the doctors, all the doctors, that's the problem. I have a Grey's Anatomy. It's so unrealistic. All the doctors, my mom is like, now see something I do like. Have you seen the good doctor?
Speaker: No, but this kid, it's a, it's a, it's a kid that he's got, he's got autism. Yeah. I know what it is. He's a fucking amazing doctor. That kid was in a motel. What's the great show? Tony was in Bates motel. And if you haven't seen that, he plays young Norman Bates. If you ain't seen that, check, check it out. Well, he was actually, that's the same kid that was in that, uh, Johnny Depp, Peter Pan movie finding Neverland.
Speaker: I never seen that. But the lady who plays his mom in Bates Motel is the chick who plays Lorraine Warren in the Conjuring series or in the Conjuring universe. Oh, no, Tony D. Tony D said the good doctor.
Speaker: He plays the hell out of that role. Yeah. What I've seen, I've seen clips. I've seen good dude from that show. I just, I have a hard time getting into getting into a lot of Tony D. Tell me you don't want the good doctor kid to, to, to totally hook up with the chick.
Speaker: I'm sure he does, but I mean, I want to see, I want to see the full on make out session with that broad. She's gorgeous. You need to stop. You need to stop. I know. You need to get laid. Dude, you're married and you need to get laid. I do. I like to think about it. No means yes and yes means anal.
Speaker: No, but another good show. I haven't heard of him forever. Tony said, no disrespect, but he plays that part better than the guy on LA wall. Talk about a show you haven't heard forever. Jesus. Another good show. What's wrong with Jeff? What's wrong with Jeff? Summer says there's something wrong with you. Yeah, I have a problem. Apparently a lot wrong with Jeff.
Speaker: tip of the iceberg. Just just just remember that that key phrase that I just taught you. Yeah, I mean, yes, yes. There you go. Yeah, I'm sure. If it's wet, jump on in. If it's dry, it's dry. If it's dry, spit on it.
Speaker: There you go. If it's dry, spit on it. Nice. No, check out New Amsterdam. That's a good show, too. That's not what that means. That is exactly what that means. What's that? She said that my phrase is not what that means. Oh, no, that's totally what it means.
Speaker: I'm gonna try that one tonight. I'm like, you know, means yes. No, just just just say, oh, my mommy. We're trying to get some of this. And then when she said the pillow, she says that when she says no, and she rolls over you. Right.
Speaker: You're like, give me a little, give me a little, give me a little test poke. This is awfully dry. Glick said to spit on it. Holy shit, the guy's a genius. Meanwhile, she's preaching for the steak knife.
Speaker: that she keeps in the nice stand because she's she's latina so we all know they're crazy and they'll stab you no she doesn't stab she bites my wife but i don't think she i don't i don't think she's gonna be rolling over to bite you in that instant no hence the hence the appeal also also it's not also it's not rape if you're surprised so
Speaker: Surprise! Surprise, butt sex! My kids watch Phineas and Ferb all the time. Oh my god. And the phrase, the phrase that the brother, the one brother says the other is in Ferb, I know what we're going to do today. Just walk to my head. Jeff, I know what we're going to do today.
Speaker: My daughter watched like six episodes back to back to back That are I don't know she watched for like two hours just like Or like, you know if you want to go back into our day thinking in the brain
Speaker: And hell yeah. We're going to take over the same thing we do every night, Pinky. We're going to take over the world. I had a English teacher. He loved Pinky the Brain.
Speaker: And to get him off subject so we didn't have any homework, we'd be like, did you watch Pinky the Brain last night? And that was the end of class. We would just about off quotes.
Speaker: Yeah. So I was like, what the hell is wrong with you? You already know this is a reality dating me. Like, this is not nothing new to you. Is that like, she's watching and she's like, wait till vacation when Chris, when Chris says surprise, you bite the pillow. Don't wait till vacation when I show up at a Deadpool mask and a cowboy hat and a Staples name.
Speaker: With a sign that says surprise. Oh shit. Next time you're taking a shower, taking a shower with your wife, drop the soap and then make her pick it up. Can you better get up for me baby? Surprise!
Speaker: Not like this And now we're canceled
Speaker: we're not afraid to discuss the the scary subjects you can always you can always hit a snapchat your booby you'll find one
Speaker: She was like, I, we were talking earlier and I was like, so are you working with this? Which is where assistant store manager that alerted her to the whole booby situation. I said, are you guys working together tonight? We're today. And she's like, no.
Speaker: But we're having dinner later on. I was like, oh, damn, you got yourself a dinner day. Yeah, there you go. See that Snapchat movie work. Show a little nip and you get a dinner day. There you go. Right there. So she said no blow. If nothing, if all else fails, you hit her with a little sling, but you got the symbol.
Speaker: I like French fried taters and mustard. I need to rewatch that movie. That drives summer crazy when I do that. I'll do that in a good way. I do it horribly. I don't do impersonations and I don't do voices, but I know I do that horribly.
Speaker: And I don't know if it's good or bad when I do that in all honesty, but we did a photo shoot one at one time when I went down there to visit or we had pictures taken right versus a photography and it was awesome it was fun it was like the first time I'd ever done anything like that.
Speaker: The photographer was like, whisper something in her ear. Surprise! And I leaned in to do it, and she was like, she started laughing. She was like, don't you, don't you dare. You know what? I just thought of something. I just thought of something. The surprise could backfire totally.
Speaker: Well, how's it going to backfire? Where's she going to do flip it? No, no. No, here's how it could backfire baby. Here's, here's how I could backfire on both of us. Summer goes out and gets a strap on. My wife goes out and gets strap on. And next thing you know, we're one gold. What the fuck? That's a real quick way for summer to get punched right in the throat.
Speaker: Well, look, we already had this discussion because she was talking to some of her younger friends about eating ass. And both of us are on the same page about eating ass. That's 100 % unacceptable. It's out the question. We both know the demons that are exercised out of that area. We both know better. So it was like, so my ass is 100 % off limits.
Speaker: Amen to that. So Summer knows that, you know, she said I would never buy one of those.
Speaker: Yeah. She's going to go. She's going to yell surprise me and funny one night. She's going to be like, surprise. I'm just going to turn around and be like, pack all right in this room. I'll come back ready to go. She's like, it's a cake, you fucking prick.
Speaker: fuck i told you i don't like surprises i'm a goddamn cobra i'm ready to strike at any moment don't play with me oh shit no i'm all up for experiment no keep my leave my ass alone i'm all up don't say that i'm all up for experimenting next thing you know you're
Speaker: You got the neighbor's pecker. This is not what I imagined. Do not shove your fingers in my butt. Stop it. Ew. When we're at the store, so like. Oh, yeah. The little goose. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That'll wake you up in the morning.
Speaker: She, she almost got, she's, she's got almost kind of one, two punch a couple of times doing that. I'm into that. Better back up. No, play that home. I got him ruins. Don't play around. That's not funny. I really, really. Spider -Man hanging from the ceiling. Spider -Man, Spider -Man.
Speaker: Kids are like, where's dad? Oh, there he is. He's almost feeling. Mom touched his butt hole again. Yeah, you do like, she does like shoving her fingers in my mouth. Every time I yawn, she just like.
Speaker: Yeah. I actually had an ex who used to do that. If you yawn without covering your mouth, she'd be like, I got her what I did. I did get her. I did get her one time. I did get her one time. She did that. And I clammed down and I said, you go fuck around and lose a finger. Keep playing. Amen to that. That's not funny.
Speaker: No, my ex used to do that. You'd wake up in the morning. What the fuck? That's the world I live on. Cover your mouth. Fuck you. It's two o 'clock in the morning. Leave me alone.
Speaker: out of pure skill, not luck. She said out of pure luck, I better steal shit. I told you I'm a cobra. I'm ready to strike. Chris is ready for stuff to go into his mouth. Yeah, I guess I deserve that. Little softball. I left that one out there. Yeah, you got to be quick on those. You got to take them back. That's that's that's my lovely my lovely girlfriend, future wife.
Speaker: She likes to shove her fingers in my mouth when I yawn and fart on me You just wait When the wedding does come you guys are gonna get a fucking special present. I'm sending the millennium falcon To go on top of fucking cake and I want pictures that motherfucker on the cake
Speaker: She said, she said, she said future ex -wife. She went, she went from planning our wedding to planning our divorce. All in the same weekend. Shout out, don't encourage Jeff's bad behavior. She said good one, Jeff.
Speaker: I said, I'm going to get Jeff in trouble when he was like, well, click said. Yeah. Yeah. You just wait. By tomorrow morning, I'm like, Chris, I didn't fuck work, dude. What the fuck? What did I do?
Speaker: She said no, so I went for it. She said no, and I shoved it in her ass. Well, did you? Shit, that's where I fucked up. I knew I forgot something. My mouth was dry. What are you gonna do? Sprinkle a little coconut. There you go. That'll wake you up. Not that I know. She's never said that there's going to be dinosaurs on top of our cake. I'm down with dinosaurs on top of our cake.
Speaker: We're all going to, we're all going to be, Chris is going to be up there. You're older than me. I'll do like what eight months.
Speaker: So you're older than me. Yeah, well. I don't get to tell it to many people. I don't get to tell it to many people. Says the guy who's embarrassed of his gray hair. Meanwhile, I'm a gray hair. Like, just embrace it, bro. Yeah, I'm not embarrassed of my gray hair. You can literally see it. Like, my camera zoomed in on my fucking hair. Everywhere. I just got cool stripes. It's prominent. I got cool gray hair, man. So I'm OK with it. I'm a leper. I'm a racist dress. You have lepers. I'm a leper.
Speaker: Yeah, see I got leopard spots where you got tiger stripes. There you go. Tigers are cooler than leopards.
Speaker: bullshit we'll see about that we'll see about that when i'm gonna make sure i'm gonna i'm gonna make a deal with summer where you have to wear like r2d2 tie or some shit at the wedding is there is there is there a leopard netflix documentary no oh fuck you he's not allowed to throw that on my face you want to fucking watch it you fucking prick i would be willing to say jeff has no summer shot down your r2d2
Speaker: Come on summer summer ask who has more grace definitely Jeff. You can see it in his face Let alone his hair. Well, I have that one stripe right here. It's like like a beacon Just one word named you Jeff with three F's for some reason so Jeff Jeff
Speaker: that's right my wife screams it yeah my wife and I used to work together at the same job and
Speaker: Uh, one of our coworkers, every time he saw me, he'd be like, yeah, because my wife would scream at him from across the street. Summer said that her and I could never work together because we'd get in trouble for banging everywhere. And I think they're probably right. Yeah. That's what got me a kid. Well, it's about that time sir. Imaginary way. Yeah. Only summer has the details and explained it. That's right.
Speaker: I don't know why it's an imaginary wedding, but I know this one is. To answer your question, Jeff definitely has more gray hair than I do. I have cooler gray hair because I've got two stripes on the chin and I've got the cool Dr. Strange stripes on my on the side. It's not Dr. Strange. It's fucking what's the guy from Fantastic Four? Dr. Strange. I think Dr. Strange is fucking what's his fucking name?
Speaker: Dr. Reed Richards. He's a fucking fucking Reed Richards looking motherfucker Dr. Strange is so much cooler. Oh, no, dr. Strange is way cooler than Reed Richards. Yeah, so I'm just saying you look like Reed Richards. So fuck you That's all right, we did podcast live after
Speaker: Why is Jeff got a black eye? Well, is he called this? Read fucking Richard's. Welcome to nonsensical nonsense where I just whooped Jeff's ass. We're live again. I stuffed him in his fucking bench that he built. Hell yeah. I can literally lay in that thing. It's so big. It's massive.
Speaker: Well, it's about that time sir. Yeah, my back teeth are floating. Well, you know, I don't think I do. Anyway, we've already done across the line of being canceled. I probably could just whip my dick out and take a piss right here.
Speaker: I won't. Nice. Put that little thing away. Whip your dick out. You're the one that was just, you're like, nice. I said I was going to whip my dick out and you're like, nice. And then I told you, put that little thing away. Yeah. Like I said, an extra three minutes goes a long way, Jeff.
Speaker: Yeah, well, three minutes, or in your case, three millimeters. Ooh. I don't know. Right out the park. I did rearrange summer's birth control, so there's that. Switching off the pickaxe. No, no, no. It's an interior birth control. It's not one that you take. Nice. And on that note,
Speaker: and that's for the first time in several episodes we had our first major glitch yeah so and we still don't know what happened yeah absolutely nothing we know would happen on any of the other ones but
Speaker: So I get to fix that and edit everything together and do all that jazz. Thank you guys for listening. Thank you guys for hanging out. Uh, if you're not already, we actually did a pretty good job this episode. I think we mentioned it, uh, at least three times at this point. Yeah, we did it. We did it like hour and 10 minute mark. I know we mentioned it then. I hit it at the beginning because I didn't have you rudely interrupted me. So you were off killing your kids.
Speaker: But thank you guys for listening, everybody who was chatting and watching live. Thank you guys, as always. And if you're not already, feel free to check us out on social media at Nonsenseful Nonsense on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok, which I don't even know why I keep mentioning TikTok because I'm pretty much over TikTok at this point. But there's still a few people that I'm trying to
Speaker: sway this way uh slowly but surely and uh also most importantly you can find the podcast every episode of the podcast at Spotify uh or on Spotify at uh non -sensical nonsense or you can go to anchor .com and it'll give you an entire list of where the broadcast is and you can also if you want to send us an email you can send us a non -sensical nonsense podcast at gmail .com
Speaker: Knocked it out the park. I mean. I did my job. You basically bunted it. And then there was. Yeah. And then you were able to get a double out of a bunt error. You don't know what any of that means. Nope. I scored a touchdown, right? That's all that matters, right? So we are out of here. Hopefully we'll see. The puck went in the basket. There you go.
Speaker: Hopefully we will see you guys Saturday. That'll depend on what time I get off work. Yeah. Cause unfortunately I do have to work Saturday. If not, we'll see you guys Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. But we are out of here for the night. Jeff. Thank you sir. And we are, hey, have to end this abruptly. Like you ended the last one.
Speaker: Just cut us off. Just fuck you guys. And we're out of here. Fuck your little podcast. You think you guys are podcasters? Well, fuck you. Watch what we can do. Click. Goodbye. Fuck.
Speaker: Well I see your silhouette, the cancer at sunset The wind blows through my hands, it leans me to the west I've drifted many days, still I'm left wondering Will I ever find my way?
Speaker: For that day
Speaker: And I've walked through this land But I don't understand I look up to the sky But still I see no sign I bow my head and pray Is anyone listening?
Speaker: I'm flying
