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Beyond the Assist: Melissa Goncalves Davis on Sports, Tech, and Paying It Forward
32 Plays2 months ago
In this episode of Valiant Talks, host Frank Furbacher '09 sits down with Melissa Goncalves Davis '13, a two-sport athlete whose college career was launched by a single missed shot. Melissa shares her story, from her roots as the proud daughter of Portuguese immigrants to the high school penalty stroke that made her realize her athletic journey "can't be it". She opens up about her brother's tough love that pushed her to play lacrosse, a sport that ultimately built her confidence and landed her in the Manhattanville record books. Melissa also details her "full-circle" career path: how networking with an alumna at a field hockey game kick-started her post-college life , and how she’s "paid it forward" by hiring multiple Valiants herself. This is a powerful conversation about sports, persistence, and the incredible value of the Valiant network.
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Transcript
Introduction to Melissa Gonsalves Davis
00:00:26
Frank Furbacher
Today I'm joined by a very special guest. We have Melissa Gonsalves Davis. Melissa, it is great to have you on.
00:00:36
Melissa
Frank, thanks for having me. This is very exciting and i love what you're doing and just the ties to Manhattanville are super strong for me. So happy to be on.
00:00:45
Frank Furbacher
Thanks so much for being here, Melissa. Want to start out by asking you what are you up to today, Melissa?
00:00:51
Melissa
Yeah, so today i am married. i am a dog mom of two. i have a mini golden doodle and a Cavapoo. well he's technically a Cavapoo Sean, but I leave off the third cause it sounds a little ridiculous.
00:01:05
Melissa
Um, I work for a company called Stellar Algo. I'm director of customer success there. So they're a sports CDP company. So I get to, be in the sports world and sort of exercise some of my, um, experience and skillset there.
00:01:21
Melissa
um and I'm living in New Rochelle. Yeah. And just, uh, building up a life here in in my mid thirties, but still feeling like I'm in my twenties.
00:01:30
Frank Furbacher
Amazing. Amazing.
Cultural Roots and Influences
00:01:32
Frank Furbacher
So Melissa, let's start out of the beginning. Let's talk about, um you know, your class of 2013 at Manhattanville um played a number of sports there.
00:01:43
Frank Furbacher
But let's start out with where you grew up. ah You were over on Long Island or in Long Island.
00:01:47
Melissa
Yep.
00:01:49
Frank Furbacher
i Tell us about ah growing up there.
00:01:52
Melissa
Yeah, definitely on Long Island. um So I am the proud daughter of two immigrants from Portugal. So my parents came to America when they were 24 and 21 years old.
00:02:06
Melissa
um originally went to Newark, New Jersey, but then fun story, my dad plays the concertina, which is like the, it's an accordion. um And they needed him in this like Portuguese dance group that we were doing, well, that they were doing at the time.
00:02:22
Melissa
So they were like, you got to come to Long Island and play for the group there. um And they're located in Farmingville. So him and my mom, he would go on weekends from Newark to Long Island to go play for them. And eventually they were like, why don't we just move here and build our lives here? There's a huge Portuguese community. So they decided to relocate from Newark to Long Island. And that's where my brother and I were born.
00:02:47
Melissa
um and so a lot of our ties on Long Island were just built around like our culture of being Portuguese and just having very close knit relationships with our cousins and within the Portuguese community, actually went to Portuguese school for six years. So I would do like normal school during the day and then go to sports or dance and then go right to Portuguese school for like two or three hours. So long, long days, but yeah, this ah first language was Portuguese. You learned how to read and write in Portuguese. So it's something I hold very near and dear to my heart.
00:03:22
Frank Furbacher
Tell us something about Portugal that the typical person wouldn't know.
00:03:26
Melissa
Yeah, I mean, it's funny now because I think people are finally seeing that Portugal is a place that you should go visit. It's still kind of untouched by tourism in a sense where things are still cheap, even during these high volume seasons.
00:03:40
Melissa
But my parents are from way up north. So they're from like the farmlands, right? They grew up raising like cattle and actually doing a lot of manual labor. So I think people see Portugal as the beaches, you know, the South of Portugal or like Lisbon and they think it's very like city and young. But when you go up North and you travel to these areas that are a lot more rural, um you know, like we were kids going there and there weren't washing machines, there weren't dishwashers. You didn't have air condition in your home. You didn't have wifi. Last year I went and finally had wifi for the first time at my parents' house as a 33 year old last summer.
00:04:18
Melissa
So I think something about Portugal that I think people would be surprised to find is that you really do get the best of multiple different worlds. If you just start one place and travel throughout, you can get so much culture and just so much experience. um And sometimes I think it's, you know, we like to travel places and we hope that people speak English and that, you know, that we can adapt and things like that. But sometimes I think it's good to just immerse yourself in the culture of the country and and to really see things in Portugal is a great place to go right now.
The Impact of Family on Education and Sports
00:04:49
Frank Furbacher
So tell us about what what were some of the, obviously culture was a ah big influence in your early years. What were some of the other influences in your early years?
00:04:58
Melissa
yeah I think well culture obviously was was for sure number one and just the way that my brother and I were raised and and things that we were sort of the expectations that were on us by our parents um but I think ah big influence was obviously my brother um he's three years older than me um and if not for him you know playing sports and doing things. I certainly wouldn't have done any of those things.
00:05:24
Melissa
um And along with that, I'm not even sure ultimately how I would have gone to college if he didn't go and do the college search and and really put himself out there. So um I like, I've seen a few things about um like the eldest child, the eldest, like first generation child really always has that pressure because if they don't carve that path,
00:05:46
Melissa
it doesn't exist for the rest of those kids. Right. right Like it's, it's very difficult. And my brother had a made made like one best friend when he was in, I think like first or second grade, whose mom was Ecuadorian, spoke Spanish.
00:06:01
Melissa
So then my mom immediately gravitated to her because there was a language connection that they could, you know, somehow understand each other. So by them doing that, he played baseball, he played soccer, he played lacrosse, he played all these sports.
00:06:15
Melissa
And then in turn, would just automatically sign me up for sports too. So when he'd see that there was something that came up, like a softball league, he signed me up, literally forged my parents' signature and was like, Melissa's got a game on Sunday, we gotta go.
00:06:29
Melissa
ah So if not for that influence, I wouldn't have been immersed in sports and just, you know, being able to like, make friends and get out of my comfort zone. I think I was a little bit more of a introverted kid.
00:06:41
Melissa
ah So it helped to kind of put myself out there and and, you know, take those steps. I think sports ultimately in life have played a huge part of of my sort of growth and maturity.
00:06:53
Frank Furbacher
And where did your brother go to college?
00:06:55
Melissa
So he went to Polytechnic Institute of NYU. So he's, he was smart. Very, very smart. um But he did have a few like lacrosse opportunities, which like meant we got to see A few different colleges, um bigger schools than like a Manhattanville, which again, I'm sure we'll get there. But like it influenced when I started doing college searches myself. I had already seen a few.
00:07:20
Melissa
um So I really narrowed down what I was looking for um during my my time. But yeah, so he was in the city for a good portion of when I was in purchase.
00:07:31
Melissa
Fantastic.
00:07:32
Frank Furbacher
That's huge. I mean, i always think about it growing up too. I was the first in my family to graduate from college. And so I look back and I think to myself that I, the only reference to college that I really had um being young. And I'm talking about like before high school
Choosing Manhattanville for Sports
00:07:55
Frank Furbacher
was really with like watching and seeing college sports on TV.
00:07:59
Melissa
Right.
00:08:00
Frank Furbacher
So like I didn't necessarily have a reference of like, you know, i had an image through TV, film or or sports of what college was.
00:08:13
Frank Furbacher
um But it's interesting because, yeah, as I was the oldest in my family, have a younger brother. But to forge that path of like, and i don't know if your parents were like mine, but.
00:08:24
Frank Furbacher
it was like, you will go to college no matter what this is happening.
00:08:28
Melissa
right
00:08:30
Frank Furbacher
um Cause obviously, you know, they want with what's best for you and they want what better than they had it. Right. um
00:08:37
Melissa
Right.
00:08:38
Frank Furbacher
So that was the story there, but yeah, interesting to hear about, you know, your brother forging that path. Cause I could totally, totally see that.
00:08:44
Melissa
Yeah.
00:08:45
Frank Furbacher
um Now, what led you to Manhattanville? You mentioned you'd seen a couple of colleges. You were, ah Brought along for the tours, I'm sure with the family.
00:08:55
Melissa
Yeah.
00:08:55
Frank Furbacher
um Tell us about like that, that whole search process for yourself.
00:09:00
Melissa
Yeah. um It's funny because anytime i've I've ever talked to even the current girls who are Manhattanville, I also coach varsity lacrosse in New Rochelle. So when I talk to my girls, I'm like, you have to really think about what you're searching for. But then I mentioned how I found Manhattanville. I'm like, it sounds a little silly. So maybe don't like follow my my rules here.
00:09:20
Melissa
But I was diehard hockey fan, like diehard hockey fans, a huge New York Rangers fan. um And I think over the years it's tapered off. Honestly, it's for the best for everybody because I was insane. But I used to like fight with people in high school, argue like, you know, obviously you're on Long Island. So it's the Islanders. You've got even Devils fans, God forbid.
00:09:41
Melissa
And then your Rangers fans and everyone's kind of in just this little... mixed So you're arguing with people and you're fighting and for girls, it's harder because people are like, you're not really a fan name five players. And I'm like, I'll name five players. I'll name where they played before I'll name their draft year. Like I'll name their hometown and their parents. Do you want your parents' names too? Like, I just felt like I had to learn so much.
00:10:04
Melissa
So I, I was a diehard hockey fan. So when I was going to college, i'm like, wait, like you could go to a college that has a killer hockey program. Like that would be awesome. And then I would just get to watch hockey all the time.
00:10:15
Melissa
And so Manhattanville having both the men's and women's team that was very successful and super strong. I was like, love it. Let's, you know, like let's do a college board search for hockey. And then being that I played field hockey and lacrosse in high school, um my field hockey program, one of my claims to fame is that I played field hockey for one of if not the best coach in new York state. And I stand by that Tina moon. She it was absolutely incredible to this day, things that she said to me and things that we learned are core memories and things that I use when I'm coaching my girls.
00:10:48
Melissa
Um, but we were supposed to be, were supposed to go farther than we did my senior year. And originally I wasn't going to play anything. I really didn't think I was good enough at the time in high school to play in college. I don't know what I, i just didn't know enough, right. Between like the division two, division three, division three and ah two and three and like what the levels are within those divisions.
00:11:10
Melissa
um And we had our final game of the season. We went to, um, ah over time. And then we went into penalty strokes and I was on the penalty stroke team and I missed.
00:11:26
Melissa
And I, we were, you know, at the end, we're just sitting there in our like final huddle and our coaches talking to us. And I just like was totally zoned out. Cause I'm like, that can't be it. Right. Like that can't be the end of my athletic career in field hockey because lacrosse was something I played for fun.
00:11:45
Melissa
um field hockey was like my passion, my dream. I loved it so much. And I'm like, this can't be it. Right. So then I went home and I started emailing coaches like crazy.
00:11:56
Melissa
And the like one coach that got back to me was actually Manhattanville's lacrosse coach. And she was like, would love to have you come in the spring. So I was emailing field hockey and lacrosse.
00:12:08
Melissa
And she's like, would love to have you come and join the team in the spring. Like, let me know if you want to chat, like, let's get on a phone call. And she was like the first coach that responded to any communication I sent out. Anna Reardon, love her to death.
00:12:20
Melissa
um ah So I was like, okay, let's do a college board search for hockey, field hockey, lacrosse. And one of the schools that came up, in Division Three was Manhattanville and the fact that it was super close by um within an hour pretty much of my parents house. I knew I wanted to go away, just not too far.
00:12:39
Melissa
um It was kind of a perfect fit, but At the same time, um I did have like I did have a coach from Wagner who was in my ear and they were D1 for lacrosse. And I was intrigued, but it just like that the concept of Staten Island, i didn't love it. And then I did look towards pace in the city.
00:13:02
Melissa
Um, but at the time they didn't have lacrosse and net field hockey, but I did know that eventually I wanted to be in the city working in the city. i kind of knew I wanted to be in marketing communications, something along those lines, which, you know, there's no greater city than New York.
00:13:18
Melissa
Um, so I knew I wanted to be close to the city. i wanted to have field hockey lacrosse.
College Sports Journey and Achievements
00:13:23
Melissa
Um, so yeah, it kind of all just came to like a little pinpoint of like, oh, Manhattanville hour from my parents close to New York city.
00:13:31
Melissa
has the sports I'm looking for and their coach responded. yeah. So then from that point forward, I guess it was just time to book visits and, and see how things went.
00:13:42
Frank Furbacher
That's awesome. So you did the outreach. You were like, okay.
00:13:45
Melissa
Yeah.
00:13:46
Frank Furbacher
And it's funny to hear you say like, this can't be it. Like I have to, can't end it like this. I have to continue playing in some way moving forward.
00:13:54
Melissa
Yeah.
00:13:56
Frank Furbacher
um
00:13:56
Melissa
Yeah.
00:13:57
Frank Furbacher
That's really, really awesome. So you emailed the coach, you set up your visits. you You clearly had a plan in mind, which I will say a lot of people don't have the idea in their head.
00:14:09
Frank Furbacher
um But one interesting thing that you mentioned was like, You didn't have enough knowledge to understand whether or not you were good enough to play in college.
00:14:16
Melissa
Yeah.
00:14:18
Frank Furbacher
I think that's really interesting because i i look back at my career and, you know, in high school, I played ice hockey and baseball.
00:14:18
Melissa
Yeah.
00:14:27
Frank Furbacher
Like those were my two sports. um Funny enough, a hockey injury ah led me to dislocate my shoulder, my throwing shoulder. So like ask anyone how hard I can throw and they're like,
00:14:41
Frank Furbacher
You know, you probably couldn't break glass. um So there's like, how could you possibly go and play college baseball? I think had it not been for someone saying to me, oh, you could play baseball at Manhattanville.
00:14:56
Frank Furbacher
There's no chance I would have ever considered playing baseball in college.
00:14:59
Melissa
yeah it's crazy it's kind of it's kind of crazy when I think about it because even with my high school and my varsity girls now I tell them I'm like it's not just coaches seeing you at a showcase and reaching out to you like sometimes you have to do the work.
00:15:15
Melissa
And that means like, you have to believe in yourself. You have to, you know, you have to want it Right. So I think for field hockey, it was a little different because my coach was so great. And like, it's not that she's there every day telling you like, you're amazing. You can go play, you can go and do all these things. But like, just from a technical perspective, I knew that I had the components to make a good player, you know? So like, and I knew I played for a great team. So I'm like, I know that I could go to Manhattanville and play, like not even like not play on the field. Right. Like I didn't know that, but like, I knew I could be on the team because I had the right training, the foundation, like the fundamentals were there, right? Like the foundation of me as a hockey player was there.
00:16:02
Melissa
lacrosse was so different. And I think a lot of it comes from just being from Long Island where it's such a hotbed for lacrosse. And you could think you have a skilled team and then you go out there and you get embarrassed and you don't know if it's you, you don't know if it's coaching, you don't know if it's the squad and in the chemistry. Like there's, there's such a higher skill level and a lot of girls on long island they start playing lacrosse when they're like three years old you know it's like out the womb here's a lacrosse stick you know go for it um and for me i again i have immigrant parents they didn't know what field hockey was they didn't know what lacrosse was and i sort of chose two sports that they didn't know because there was so much pressure in soccer right like so much like my dad knows everything about soccer so you could go out and score a hat trick and he would think you didn't play well
00:16:49
Melissa
So it's like every everything led me to be like, I just need something that they don't know if I'm doing well or not so that I can just keep it moving and hang out with my friends. um But when I got to Manhattanville, ultimately, that was something that I kind of processed of like, I could see it immediately with field hockey, that like my training and just the way that I was coached in high school prepared me to play in college and just in, in just seeing competition across teams and just the way that they handled adversity and certain comments.
00:17:25
Melissa
I was like, Oh no, like one, my high school coach would never say that to me, but two, like she would tell me to play through it. And you know, her biggest thing was like, when they ask you, when you get to college, what position you play, you say wherever you need me to.
00:17:38
Melissa
And in field hockey, obviously it's a little different than with baseball where you might have a more specialized role, but like, that's exactly what I did for field hockey. And ultimately I went in as someone who was supposed to play offense and be a goal scorer. And I ended up on the defensive line as a midfielder.
00:17:56
Melissa
And, you know, if I went back and told my high school coach that she would have laughed and been like, I'm sorry. and you're doing what? Like, but she told me you, you play wherever they need you. And I did. And and it worked out in my favor for field hockey.
00:18:09
Melissa
um But after my, this is actually a very funny story. After my freshman year, I said to my brother, I'm like, I had so much fun playing field hockey. Like, I don't think I'm going to play lacrosse because like playing two sports is kind of crazy. And at the time, my field hockey coach was like, if you play lacrosse, it's not going to, um you know, he had a different philosophy, but he basically said, if you want to play lacrosse,
00:18:32
Melissa
it might hinder your field hockey abilities and just the, you know, time on the field. And cause you're not going to be playing in the spring ball with the girls. And I don't know what he necessarily thought, but I think in hindsight, he definitely learned that I i was in better shape playing a, you know, a spring season sport than if I was just doing fall ball with, you know, spring ball with the girls.
00:18:56
Melissa
um So I said to my brother, I'm like, yeah, I don't know. I had such a great time playing field hockey in the fall. made really awesome friends. I don't think I'm gonna do lacrosse. Cause like my coach also said, like it might impact, you know, my, my playing time.
00:19:09
Melissa
And he was like, no, no, no, no. no Like you're playing lacrosse. You're absolutely playing lacrosse. That's not even a question. And I'm like, I just feel like it's going to be a lot. Like all my friends are, you know we're going to be hanging out and doing things. And like, I won't be able to, and he's like, who cares?
00:19:24
Melissa
You're playing lacrosse. You have to like, no ifs, ands or buts. He goes after the first season, if you don't like it, then we'll talk. But no, you're, you're absolutely playing lacrosse. And I still have like, like messages in my memories of like time hop of his like Facebook status as being like, I can't believe my sister didn't want to play lacrosse. And then like, look at her freshman season. And like, he was just such a cheerleader for me. And thank God i listened to him and I did what he told me to because I think lacrosse helped build, lacrosse and Evan Hattonville helped build this confidence for me that I never had with the sport.
00:19:57
Melissa
You know, i just didn't feel like I was a player, a leader or anything in high school. And then Evan Hattonville, I felt like I was a leader and I felt like I had this position where I could not only be successful, but could help others be successful and be a true team player. And and just never would have had that if not, you know, if he didn't push me.
00:20:19
Melissa
to actually play. Um, so yeah.
00:20:22
Frank Furbacher
So tell us how that freshman year went.
00:20:25
Melissa
Yeah. So, I mean, my freshman year for field hockey was a a little bit of ah a tra ah journey, but lacrosse went really well. Um, I, I like have such interesting memories, again, things I do with my varsity girls now.
00:20:39
Melissa
Um, that like, I obviously came in as a freshman. I'm someone who is very like, I know my place. I know my role, like speak when I'm spoken to. And it just was not that group, right? Like the seniors were so welcoming. The juniors were welcoming, like the upperclassmen were also like,
00:20:56
Melissa
no, like you you're not disrespectful to each other. Like they just held this certain standard for our team. And it was so incredible because you just like hear all these stories of like these big, scary seniors. and then you get there and they're like, we're family. We look out for each other. um And it helped because I was someone who kind of needed to be told like, hey, we need you. Like, don't play like a freshman. Don't, you know, don't be a freshman. Like we need you to be and We need you to own the field. And I ended up starting in every game.
00:21:25
Melissa
want to say every game that year. And I played entire games. um And as a freshman, I felt like that was like an honor, right? It was definitely a privilege. It's not something that happens for everybody, but like I was working my butt off, but I definitely had like,
00:21:38
Melissa
ah something in my mind that was like, tone it down. Like, don't go to goal. Don't do these things. And I vaguely, for remember vividly um ah during one of our games, my GA at the time literally pulled me off the field and was like in my Jersey.
00:21:54
Melissa
And I don't want to, I'm not going to curse. I'll just, but I'll leave out myself. But she was like, you're playing like an effing freshman right now. And and you to get your shit together. And I was like, Okay. She goes, when you go back out on that field, you are not playing like an effing freshman anymore. Do you hear me?
00:22:09
Melissa
i was like, yeah, sure.
00:22:11
Frank Furbacher
Mm-hmm.
00:22:12
Melissa
So I went out there and I was like, she believes in me. Like she wants me to be great. And then the next game, I think I scored like five goals against one of the top teams in the conference. And then the game after that was the number one team in the conference and they face guarded me.
00:22:27
Melissa
So I like at the end of the season, I'm kind of just looking back on things. And my brother's like, you didn't even want to play. Like you didn't even want to play and look what you were able to do.
00:22:38
Melissa
um And I think that summer i just kind of locked in. i i lost like 30 to 40 pounds. I built muscle. I was in the gym with him like every day. And he was like, we are building you for success here. And then I got to field hockey and my coach was like, what happened to you?
00:22:55
Melissa
um like, I don't know. I guess playing lacrosse was a good thing. I don't know.
00:23:01
Frank Furbacher
So safe to say that, you know, freshman year and and for a career, um you had a very successful career. So you actually ranked fifth in the all-time women's lacrosse points.
00:23:17
Frank Furbacher
You're up on number six in goals and second in assists total in the in the career records and in the history books.
00:23:24
Melissa
Yeah.
00:23:28
Melissa
Well, yeah, it was a, it was a really good time. I always say I'm like field hockey was my passion going in so Manhattanville. And I, I left with this just sort of like,
00:23:40
Melissa
don't know, like a moment of clarity for lacrosse. And now I, I still do so much with lacrosse. Um, so yeah, it, I feel like field hockey kind of open, you know, uh, Manhattanville opened that door for lacrosse that never really existed for me.
Career Path and Networking Importance
00:23:56
Melissa
Um, yeah. And I, I, remember a lot of my time there very, very fondly because we just had some of the best girls on those teams, some of the best.
00:24:07
Frank Furbacher
so talk to me about like overall yeah obviously for sports you i mean you clearly had a great experience right it it unlocked a lot for you um and i'm sure you're similar to me which is similar to a lot of
00:24:16
Melissa
Yeah.
00:24:24
Frank Furbacher
people who played sports in Manhattanville where it opens up these relationships, right. And you being on two sports, you even opens up even more to, you know, getting to know people that i'm I'm sure there's so many of them that you still talk to, to this day, but tell me about like, um, out off the field.
00:24:47
Frank Furbacher
Like, tell me about like what your experience is like.
00:24:47
Melissa
Great.
00:24:49
Frank Furbacher
You mentioned that you knew you had an interest in communications. um Tell me about that whole piece of things. Cause it's very easy as a college athlete to just be like, okay, I've got my sports. That's what I'm worried about. That's why I came here in essence.
00:25:07
Frank Furbacher
um But we all know that, ah you know, four years goes fast. um So tell me about like off the field, what was life like?
00:25:17
Melissa
Yeah, I think it's it's funny because, so my parents, like my dad was a contractor. My mom worked for our highway department in our town. So I didn't have anybody across my family, aunts, uncles, no one that worked in corporate America. But I had this like view of what I wanted to do, which is like, I always saw myself again in the city, like getting off the train, walking to my office. I just didn't always...
00:25:44
Melissa
picture what I was doing in that office, but I had this like thought process of being in the city, working in the city. I knew i wanted to be in you know corporate America.
00:25:55
Melissa
um But when I told my parents I was majoring in communications, they thought that meant I wanted to work for the telephone company. And they were like, we're paying for college for you to work for the telephone company? like What are you going to do there?
00:26:06
Melissa
And I was like, no, that's not, that's not exactly it But, you know, just trust, trust the process. um But I think when I like, again, like college flies by and I always tell everybody, like, when you're going through it, it feels like it's going slow.
00:26:21
Melissa
but it flies by. And then before you know it, you know, it's senior year, you have no internships and you're kind of stuck on what you're supposed to do. um and your network and your connections are so important. And that's not something that I was intentionally not trying to do, but I don't think I just like understood how to network with people and how to like build those connections.
00:26:47
Melissa
Um, So then when yeah I know you obviously had Jen Panessa on the show, um but when we did our field hockey alumni day and she came back, um I just like one thing I really love that I think a lot of teams and if there's coaches listening to this that they should do is Make sure you have your alumni introduce themselves to your current team and not just names, but like, what do you do for a living? What did you major in? You know, what was your time like having just like maybe 15 minutes after the game or before the game to really get into that?
00:27:21
Melissa
is what helped build the connection for Jen. And Jen planned that entire alumni game, right? So like I came into that game knowing that like she was a leader, right? She was the she was the person in charge.
00:27:35
Melissa
um And then when we're going around and she and they're talking about what they do, everything that she said about her job was something I was interested in. And I'm like, okay, she's up on the relationship side, customer management. I'm like, I've worked in retail every, every year. So I'm like, this is, this is something I can do.
00:27:54
Melissa
um so I just started really kind of going after her, right? Like later that we you had like a little tailgate after ah went right up to her, asked her about her job. um asked her if there's internships and then followed up on LinkedIn and was very proactive in doing that, which at the time, like didn't even cross my mind that I was doing too much. Right. Which I think is funny because I think but like kids now in that age group are like, Oh my God, I don't want to like bother them. Or I don't want to like annoy them. it didn't even cross my mind at the time that I was doing too much because it was also my senior desperation makes you do crazy things.
00:28:29
Melissa
But like, It's not crazy, right? Showing interest, showing passion, it's not crazy. And then obviously we heard when you interviewed Jen that like, that's something that really stuck out to her is how intentional and persistent I was in reaching out.
00:28:44
Melissa
um and So I think that's like, it's something that's super important to do that. But like, I... definitely could have done more during college to have built those networks and those like tight bonds with people across different companies. But, um, you know, obviously playing sports helps you have that like inherent network, but you'd be surprised how little we use it to this day. Right. Even having that, like, it's almost like a, I hate the comparison of like sororities and fraternities. Obviously we didn't have that, but like
00:29:15
Melissa
that's, that is what it is, right? You have this like tenured relationship with people, even like that grade, that graduated 10 years before you that you can connect to and you should, you should build those connections.
00:29:26
Melissa
Um, but just to touch on like some to, you know, obviously not make the entire Manhattanville experience about sports, but to also bring it back to coursework and classes.
00:29:37
Melissa
Um, it really wasn't until I got into my major classes for my communications degree that I really felt like I was thriving as a student. um I'm definitely someone who feels much more engaged with things that I have um you know a level of care for it right and and that I'm interested in. So when I started taking my my communications classes and it was like gender and communication, media ethics, like there were just so many classes that I was like, yes, like this is, this makes sense. Like this, I want to write a paper about this. I'll give you 30 pages on this. You know, this was, this is what I care about.
00:30:15
Melissa
um And I had so many just like really solid professors. um But one of my favorites and maybe it's because I'm a glutton for punishment, but was Professor Rudell in communications. he was up he did I want to say he did my media ethics class, and then he did, um i had a PR class with him, I want to say. um But everybody told me he was one of the hardest professors in communications.
00:30:40
Melissa
And you know people think communications is a very easy major. But they were like, he, like, you work your butt off to get a B for him. So, like, good luck. You know, you should you should get out of that class, withdraw, you know, drop his class and take it with someone else. And I'm like, no, I think I'm going to stay.
00:30:58
Melissa
and he ended up being one of my favorite, favorite professors. um I, it the, so you know, the reputation about his grading was absolutely true. But but he was one of my favorite professors.
00:31:13
Frank Furbacher
That's amazing. That's amazing. um So totally agree. People, um people in general don't reach out for doesn't have, it doesn't even have to be help, right?
00:31:25
Frank Furbacher
It could be just to connect or advice or, Hey, interested in learning more about what you do, whether you are a recent grad or a current student or you're 10, 15, 20 years out, it just doesn't happen enough.
00:31:31
Melissa
Right.
00:31:40
Frank Furbacher
And That's okay, but like I think that the important thing that people should know is that if you have that connection to someone or just a um commonality right of going to Manhattanville or whatever it is, um people tend to be willing to help. I just literally had someone who in my first job I worked with who contacted me last week
00:32:12
Frank Furbacher
was like, hey, we haven't, you know, we haven't spoken in like 12 years, 13 years. But, you know, we're connected on LinkedIn, probably other social media too.
00:32:25
Frank Furbacher
And he was just simply like, hey, man, just how are you? What's up? There's two people in your company that I would love an introduction to. Is it possible? And I'm thinking myself, like, these people are probably not going to want talk to this guy. So um I'll ask him.
00:32:41
Frank Furbacher
ah You know, I know this guy.
00:32:42
Melissa
Right.
00:32:43
Frank Furbacher
So, like, I'll ask. Next thing you know, they're like, yes, please send him over our way.
00:32:48
Melissa
Yeah.
00:32:49
Frank Furbacher
Did the introduction. And, like, all he had to do was reach out and ask, right?
00:32:54
Melissa
Mm-hmm.
00:32:55
Frank Furbacher
No harm in doing that.
00:32:57
Melissa
No, it's so true. i And I think too, like the Jen experience helped kind of change how I viewed things too, because when she like helped get me my opportunity, that's something that I paid forward to.
00:33:15
Melissa
I pretty much, I want to say I hired four or five people directly from Manhattanville once roles opened up within my department. So like she, by leading by example and really kind of, you know, being who so she says she is, it made me feel like, you know what, this is exactly like, I should return the favor, right? If doors are open for you, you should open doors for others.
00:33:35
Melissa
And it, it helped shape a lot of, of how I i thought and I viewed um just those experiences. So yeah, like i I think some of the best roles I've had in work have been where I can influence people that are hired and and joined because I think giving someone that initial opportunity is so amazing. But it's true. i ah Anytime I get messages like that too, I'm like, ah, like I hope that this person is okay with me making this connection. And like, lo and behold, they love it. Right. And I think people genuinely genuinely want to make connections and help network and um and, you know, help be that foot in the door for others.
00:34:14
Melissa
um So I think we all should be a little bit better about like using those networks.
00:34:20
Frank Furbacher
And shout out to Jen for being energetic, charismatic, and super cool because um she's one of my favorite classmates for sure.
00:34:22
Melissa
Yeah. Shout out to Jen.
00:34:26
Melissa
She's the best.
00:34:29
Melissa
Oh, she's, yeah, she's the best.
00:34:32
Frank Furbacher
um So Melissa, tell me about like life after college. You mentioned like, you know, you had the, the, the Jen experience, you have the alumni experience. Tell me about like how you get started.
00:34:49
Frank Furbacher
And like, how do you get to where you are today?
00:34:52
Melissa
Yeah. um You know, it it's, it's definitely a, people will tell you like, you're not climbing the ladder. It's constant. It's like you're, you're going side to side in, in many instances. and that's definitely true for me.
00:35:05
Melissa
um i think in, in that role that I had ah right out of college, I was there for five years and I got promoted, I want to say five or six times. So it was like the instant gratification of like, work hard, get rewarded, work hard, get rewarded. It,
00:35:21
Melissa
almost gave me a false sense of like, you know, the world really and in in terms of work and how things go. And then when I ultimately left there, it was very much under the just understanding that i'd like, it's like I was promoted and I climbed the ladder so quickly. But then in that final year, it was like, you're too young and inexperienced.
00:35:42
Melissa
Yeah. And so then when I sat in that position and it's like, but you, you, you put me in this role, right? I earned this role. I worked my way up to get here, but now I'm to an experience to level up even further.
00:35:56
Melissa
i then I don't know if this is the place where I can level up further.
Role at Stellar Algo and Professional Growth
00:36:00
Melissa
If it's, if that's sort of the way that it's, that's being dictated. So yeah. I ended up wanting to sort of spread my wings, see if there was something in other industries and see if there was different roles and and things that I could learn. And it turns out I was right. You know, it wasn't the cleanest journey.
00:36:17
Melissa
um But for me, had I stayed there, i I don't think that I would have learned all of the things that I've been able to learn now, which in my current role, I'm very much obviously still on the client management side and having a book of business and managing customers and and making sure they get what they need out of our tool and our our platform.
00:36:37
Melissa
But I'm also on the strategy side of how we're building our customer department and how we're, um you know, really fine tuning the way that we engage with customers, which like that piece is something I picked up in the last 10 years, right? in in In those different types of roles that I was in where they let me build out Salesforce, right? And they let me build out a HubSpot instance and they gave me freedom to just work on things and see what made sense. And all of that experience working in startups, because for the most part, I've i've stayed within startups. Again, I mentioned before I was a glutton for punishment, but like and working within startups has kind of been my niche of of being able to build and see things that don't work and try to fix them. And it kind of all has come to a head in the current role that I'm in where they've
00:37:28
Melissa
put me in a position to be able to do a lot of those things and to influence those decisions. um But then also being in sports, which is something i'm very passionate about. And it's not just, you know, people who work in sports will tell you, it's not just obviously being an athlete and liking sports, but it's the culture. It's very much a ah different, different culture than if you work in finance or healthcare, care um a little bit more laid back, but the expectations are high, you know? So it's almost like, yeah, you get to have this very cool, relaxed culture, but deadlines are deadlines.
00:38:04
Melissa
You need to collaborate. You need to work with people. So it's like, you get the book, you get the good thing, but then you're also held accountable. Right. Um, which are two things that I, that I can appreciate. Yeah. Yeah.
00:38:14
Frank Furbacher
So tell us about the the company that you're at right now. Could you tell us more about that?
00:38:18
Melissa
you Yeah, so the best way to describe it sort of in in you know the easiest terms is we're ACDP. So um we take a number of different feeds from our customers and create your single customer view.
00:38:33
Melissa
So what we're doing is creating opportunities for teams and leagues to generate additional revenue and basically optimize their operations a little bit better.
00:38:44
Melissa
um so yeah So where you might have like your Ticketmaster integration where you know I have seven different Ticketmaster accounts because I keep forgetting my password.
00:38:44
Frank Furbacher
Mm-hmm.
00:38:52
Melissa
What we do in our tool is we create one Melissa Davis and that one Melissa Davis is tied to my single account. um So it helps you to sort of optimize how you're engaging with with your customers and your fans um when to engage, how to engage, what to engage on.
00:39:09
Melissa
um So it's a totally different part of the industry that I've never worked in. I mean, in my previous roles, I was in like content production um and sort of venue operations in a sense.
00:39:20
Frank Furbacher
Mm-hmm.
00:39:21
Melissa
And here it's very much data numbers, which, you know, if you like when you explain that to my parents, they're like numbers, Melissa's working with numbers. and Absolutely not. um But it makes sense, you know, just building the narrative and the story around um who that customer is, what makes sense to them um and just how they're, you know, so they're not getting like anundated with a hundred different marketing
Networking and Community Engagement
00:39:44
Melissa
comms. They're getting the ones that make sense for them.
00:39:47
Frank Furbacher
So cleaning up data, managing data, and then how to actually use that data.
00:39:50
Melissa
Correct. Yeah.
00:39:52
Frank Furbacher
Very cool.
00:39:53
Melissa
Yeah.
00:39:54
Frank Furbacher
So Melissa, you've, I feel like you've covered like so many different like areas of like ah different categories of like what a Manhattanville alum, you know, can cover it, which is really, really cool.
00:40:12
Frank Furbacher
um Tell me about like, We kind of mentioned, we kind of talked about this already, but like, what's a piece of advice that you'd have for, going to, going to give you a couple ones.
00:40:24
Frank Furbacher
So for Manhattanville alums, is there any, any message that you'd like to get out to them in general? And then also what's a piece of advice that you'd have? And this could be for a current student. It could be for ah recent grad. It could be folks who are your age, my age or older.
00:40:42
Melissa
Okay, so for alums and then for current students.
00:40:47
Frank Furbacher
Yeah, well, like, I feel like you have a passion for Manhattanville that is very high.
00:40:52
Melissa
yeah
00:40:55
Frank Furbacher
And i noticed this because think I saw a post that you made recently about an alumni day and you were like, how could I possibly be the only one?
00:40:55
Melissa
Yes.
00:41:05
Melissa
yes
00:41:06
Frank Furbacher
Like post 20, you know, whatever year it was, you were like, everyone's a recent grad at this alumni day for and what was it? Was it lacrosse or field hockey?
00:41:15
Melissa
Yeah, it was lacrosse.
00:41:16
Frank Furbacher
lacrosse and you're like, come on, we got to we got to show up a little bit on that.
00:41:21
Melissa
Yes.
00:41:21
Frank Furbacher
I want to I want to hear about like your message to folks to be like, i know life is busy, but stay connected.
00:41:28
Melissa
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think it applies so much more for women's sports, which honestly, like... just hurts a part of my brain that I can't comprehend. But I think once certain, and I don't see this in like division one a lot, like, but I do see it across like D2, D3 sports in a sense, where the minute you graduate as a female, you're almost no longer an athlete.
00:41:53
Melissa
And that to me is like the craziest concept, right? But I also feel this way because I married a D3 college athlete and, you know, my husband played basketball at Wesleyan.
00:42:03
Melissa
And when I go to Wesleyan and I see their alumni days and I see how engaged like their team is, I'm like, This is so frustrating because I do feel like this can be a male versus female thing where like men want to men are athletes till the day they die, no matter how their bodies are, you know, falling apart and how many surgeries they've had.
00:42:25
Melissa
But women, like we kind of graduate from being athletes and it is sad sometimes. So then when I go to an alumni game and I'm like, okay, these girls are 25, 26 years old.
00:42:37
Melissa
They're still in their twenties. They still connect to this. But then the minute that you start having kids, you identify as a mom, you don't identify as an athlete anymore. And you almost forget that you can be both.
00:42:47
Melissa
um You know, you get married, you identify as a wife, you do you forget that you can be a wife and an athlete, you know, and again, this is just my perception of what I've seen in in different, you know, not even just in my Manhattanville group, but like many other groups.
00:43:02
Melissa
And I just want women to know that like, you don't have to come back and play. If you don't want to play, that is fine. Right. Because that's, that's one thing. Right. And I ah like, well, it's just one short story. But when I got to the, when I was in the game,
00:43:18
Melissa
And one of the girls on the current team was like, oh, so like, when did you graduate? And I was like, 2013. And she goes, oh.
00:43:26
Melissa
And I laugh because I'm like, I played in the European Championships for Portugal last summer. Like 34 is not old. Like there were women in their 40s playing from different countries. Like we just think we're old here and we need to get that like out of our heads. And sometimes I get caught in it.
00:43:43
Melissa
where I'm like, oh, you know, I'm too old to be doing this or like my body, my body's falling apart. But then you get out there and you run with the current team and you're like, you know what? I'm actually not as far behind as I thought I was. So like, I just want women, especially my field hockey, my lacrosse girls, because like our alumni groups should, our alumni are all best friends.
00:44:05
Melissa
Their, their groups of friends are inseparable. There were bridesmaids in each other's weddings. They just won't come back. And I just feel like the minute you step on campus, is the nostalgia, the connections, the conversations, like you just have to come back, come back one time and you will feel it, you will see it then it'll become a reunion and and a way for you to ah really engage with friends. I mean, some of my best friends live in different parts of the country. Like half my friends are in Massachusetts and Vegas, Rhode Island, you know, but like, if you just pick that one day, right, this is our alumni game and everybody comes back. Like that's the time that you can kind of excuse yourself from other things and just focus on your friends and seeing people and living in the moment.
00:44:50
Melissa
Um, and So I just wish that, you know, as women, we would prioritize ah our athletics career, you know, our athletic careers and and just the experience of of being there. So, I mean, that's one piece of advice I would give to the current years is like,
00:45:06
Melissa
when you graduate, you're not done. You've just graduated into this different echelon of, of people. Right. And then you be, you now become part of our group where we're like, we could be washed up, but we only lost by three goals.
00:45:19
Melissa
And I'm convinced that if my, if my years were back, if I could get Cassandra Hanovich to come back for one alumni game, it would be over for everybody. So, so I just have, I just want them to come back and stay in tune, stay in touch with, you know, those alumni groups.
00:45:37
Melissa
Um, but also to like, uh, you know, all, so all seriousness, like you have to network and you have to build those connections. And sometimes it's it's doing things that you might think are weird, go through the rosters that graduated in the year before you, find them on LinkedIn, go and connect with them and see what they're doing. And, and if it's something that intrigues you, amazing, right? Like if you're going and you want to be a teacher, there are so many teachers that are alumni from our school, right?
00:46:07
Melissa
Go and talk to one of them, see what they're experiencing, see what lanes they took. And, and, you know, if they still have a passion for it and what their advice is, like, there's people doing so many different things and there's easy ways like go through the roster, find them on LinkedIn. It's not creepy. It's not weird. Like if I had people from feel like your lacrosse or even, you know, any sport, even a sport I didn't play or just alumni in general or current, you know, current students in general, I'm accepting their connection a hundred percent.
00:46:35
Melissa
And if they want to message me, I'm messaging them back. You know, it's a Manhattanville is that connector. That's all you really need.
00:46:42
Frank Furbacher
Yeah. I'll say um hand up. I did not go to my alumni day this year.
00:46:47
Melissa
Shame.
00:46:47
Frank Furbacher
I was also not planning on playing. If I did go, I was not going to play. um I did go to my 20 year high school reunion just recently. And you know, it's the same thing whenever the baseball guys get together, but it's like, time hasn't passed.
00:47:03
Melissa
Right, right.
00:47:03
Frank Furbacher
You're, you're leaving off. Like it could have been five years, 10 years, 15 years since you all last saw each other. And it's like, Yeah, it's this weird feeling of just like, you're just picking up where you left off.
00:47:15
Frank Furbacher
Like no time has passed.
00:47:15
Melissa
Yeah.
00:47:17
Frank Furbacher
um But kudos to you for ah trying to rally the troops to get back because um it's really easy to say no to those things, right? So I said no because my son happened to have his you know sports activity going on at that time.
00:47:32
Frank Furbacher
But I do regret not going and figuring it out. Like, yeah, it's probably a way I can go. And you know hey, he he can skip this week. um But it's a good point. You got to make sure that you get out there and reconnect. um Because number one, it's great to see everyone.
00:47:47
Frank Furbacher
um But number two, it's like, you know, we're only getting older.
00:47:47
Melissa
Yeah.
00:47:52
Frank Furbacher
Let's just let's just hang out while, ah you know, we're all let's just all have fun and and make sure that we're catching up with each other.
00:47:52
Melissa
Yeah.
00:48:00
Melissa
Yeah, I agree. And one of my like biggest mottos that I live by is leaving things better than you found it And I always think of like, if when I was a student and i was, you know, an athlete there, what were things that I would have loved and that I would have appreciated from alumni?
00:48:18
Melissa
And I think that's something, right? And even if as alumni, you don't think that like the current class appreciates it, like, I think we just have to do better jobs of like introducing ourselves and, and you know, putting ourselves out there because if they don't appreciate it now, at some point they will, right? Like they're going to end up a so senior spring semester with no internship and they're going need a Jen Vanessa.
00:48:39
Melissa
And, you know, ah I'll be there. I'll be the Jen.
00:48:44
Frank Furbacher
Totally. Totally. Well, Melissa, thank you so much for this. This was a really great conversation. it was great to get to know you better and I'm looking forward to staying connected.
00:48:54
Melissa
Yes. Thank you, Frank. I really appreciate you having me on.
00:48:57
Frank Furbacher
You got it. Take care.