Nonsensical Nonsense 116 Let this focker burn down

Transcript

Speaker: Dancing, dancing Dancing, dancing Dancing, dancing

Speaker: Yes.

Speaker: What is going on everybody? Happy Monday. Welcome to another episode of Nonsenseical Nonsense. Hopefully you guys had a good Monday. Hopefully it wasn't a typical Monday. Anywho, I am Glick.

Speaker: As always, appreciate you all coming in and checking us out, hanging out with us for a couple hours. We got Tony and Jeff, they'll be coming in here just momentarily. But let me get the business out the way. If you guys are not already, go ahead and check us out on all social media, at nonsensical nonsense on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok.

Speaker: You can also get every single episode of the podcast on Spotify and basically everywhere you listen to podcasts that all you gotta do is just search up nonsensical nonsense. Go give us a like. We don't ask you guys for many favors, but if we could ask you for one favor, go ahead and share it out. Tell everybody you know about it. If you like what you hear, maybe they'll like it too. Maybe they'll tell their friends. And you know what that means? That means we grow, we get bigger, we get better. All that fun jazz.

Speaker: You can also check out our merch store if you'd like at teespring .com slash nonsensical nonsense podcast. We got shirts and hoodies and cups and stickers and all that jazz there. More to come as soon as I have more time to make some more stuff. But we also got an email. You guys can email us any time you'd like for whatever reason. But if you want to get into the weekly starting five, that's the way to do it. What's going on chatters box. Welcome to the show.

Speaker: Let's go ahead and get this thing started. This is our last show here on HAPS. So to HAPS, I say good riddance to the people that we have met, that have been cool, that I've become friends with. Hopefully you guys will follow us and go with us and still watch us on YouTube, Twitch and Facebook because after today that is where we will be. To the rest of you motherfuckers on HAPS, enjoy being miserable pieces of shit and ruin more apps.

Speaker: What is going on, sir? It's Monday. It is Monday. You have had a Monday too, sir. Yes. Tony D, what's going on, brother? We're going to keep that conversation between us. But I've had a Monday. Tony, I will tell you about it later. But holy shit. Before I go off on my motherfucking rent, because I got one at night.

Speaker: All right, we're gonna give you a minute or two to go off on your rant because you and your make -believe drama, come on now. Yeah, no, I'm not gonna say anything just in case any other ears happen to hear, but it's a real... For the sake of the podcast, I'm gonna keep it clean, but I said my piece early and I'm still waiting on that punk bastard to show up. Yeah, well... I didn't make -believe nothing, I saw it myself.

Speaker: I told you earlier, drop them names, don't be scared. But I'll just say, what are you going to do? I mean, at the end of the day, it's a real dog eat dog world. Yeah, but a some dog needs to stay on the porch. Well, you know, as Chris and I were talking about earlier, you know, play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Speaker: But no, as I did say, this is our last show here on Haps. Haps is going away. We are moving to StreamYard Wednesday. So yeah, you guys, if you enjoy hanging out with us, if you enjoy listening to us, you know, check us out on YouTube, check us out on Twitch, check us out on Facebook. It's all at nonsensical nonsense. We won't be hard to find. I promise you guys that. Yeah, we'll keep posting.

Speaker: We are speaking. What's going on here? Okay. Oh God. Oh God. Stop breaking everything. Wow. I am. I'm just over here. I'm pushing. He can't work his phone. Phone is complicated thing. Well, I would, I wanted to, uh, I wanted to, uh, share the live feed into a, a, uh, a Facebook group. Oh.

Speaker: maybe I should not get in trouble, but I want to, I'll get out a second and I'll jump into that. But let that sink in there for a second on that Facebook group. I'm trying to get my other phone to work. It is not cooperating with me at all. So I can hopefully maybe see any Facebook comments and stuff like that. God, I cannot wait until Wednesday when everything's just going to be fluent and everything like that. But yeah.

Speaker: I have nine days in counting until I'm done with my current employer. I'm not doing a countdown or anything. I'm not keeping track, but that also depends on how many days I decide to.

Speaker: I think I'm coming down with something. I might be sick. I got I got two weeks to use like 50 hours of sick time. That means you got one week. Yeah, exactly. What's up with your last day? So I'm not coming in at all. Well, I got to be there next Friday because I got to turn 50 hours.

Speaker: Yeah, I gotta turn in all my tools, I gotta turn in my badges, my iPad, my cell phone, all that, you know, all that sort of shit. Badges? Badges? Speaking of social media, guys, it is only Monday, so you still have two more days to go jump on Facebook and check out the Starting 5 list. We got our list and we've got the Chatterbox list, so make sure you guys go vote for both of those lists. That's the Starting 5.

Speaker: Comedy movies are personal favorites or, yeah, so I said comedy movies. So go ahead and go make sure you guys cast your votes on Facebook. I'm going to try to get it up on Instagram and Twitter and TikTok later on tonight, but we'll see what happens. But if that all else fails, go to Facebook, that nonsensical nonsense. Cast your votes for the starting five. Too much things, too many things at the end of the day that just don't get done. I mean,

Speaker: It's that whole, old adage of too much month at the end of the money, but time and posting on social media. Not enough hours in the day to get everything that needs to get done. I'm literally taking a break from work to do the show, and then I'm right back on it until God knows when, because I still have 72 more contacts to hit up today.

Speaker: I have the ultimate excuse on why I need a break. The kids? No. One of my dogs died. Oh no, sorry to hear that. She was old.

Speaker: She was old. I will give you more details off the show, Tony. Chris and I had a talk about it today. And I'm trying to keep as focused as possible so I don't have to deal with it. But I'm sure late tonight I will cry like a little girl. Yeah. Yeah, a lot of fucking notes here. A couple of real quick things. One, shout out Facebook group, The Man Cave.

Speaker: and one of their admins, Eric, he dropped a post the other day, or yesterday, maybe it was today, I don't know. Basically telling all the members, everybody in the group, you know, if you do a small business or whatever you do, to go ahead and shout yourself out, and I think we might have had something to do with that because I was posting it there and they were allowing us to, a lot of guys in that group have,

Speaker: small businesses and stuff like that and I think that that is a really cool one of the admins to actually take the time out of a group that's a fun group you know there's a lot of memes and shit like that that's dropped in there and you know just goofy ass silly memes and for the most part it seems like it's a it's a guys Facebook group like majority is all men if not all men

Speaker: But that was kind of cool. I see all the names coming up and of course I'm in there and I put all our stuff in there. And I see all these businesses and I'm like, I see sponsorship opportunities, boys. I do. Send me that link because I see ERC opportunities. Jesus Christ. Leave them alone. They don't want to buy into your pyramid scheme.

Speaker: But with that being said, yeah, yeah, with that kind of - It's the fucking IRS. The IRS is a pyramid scheme, though, if you really think about it. Yeah, and I know them motherfuckers are pissing me the hell off right now. We're about to have some serious issues. IRS. No, I don't think so. Send me a letter the other day. They sent me a letter Monday. About? What the hell is Tony doing?

Speaker: I already had a run from the IRS before. I'm not running no more. You said I never ran. You never had to run from them. They sent me a letter the other day. They're like, Oh, you know, we had to make adjustments on your, on your, on your W two's blah, blah, blah. You're going to get X amount back. I got that on Monday, Friday I come home and I get another letter and it says, uh, we have to double check your taxes, blah, blah, blah. Uh,

Speaker: it could take up to two months and I'm like well you've already had three months to do that and you told me on Monday that we're good and I'm gonna get X amount of money back and now on Friday you're telling me another story and then I spent an hour and a half on hold with them sons of bitches before I just got tired of being on hold and hung up. Wow.

Speaker: I was like, you've got to be kidding me with this goofy ass shit. Y 'all been taking my money for the last five years now. Give me a little, you know, give me a little bit of scratch back. Yeah. So you're single with no dependents pretty much, right? Me? On your taxes. No, I got three dependents. You got three dependents. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He has to, he has to add the kids. But that's a whole nother. That's a whole nother side note and a whole nother

Speaker: a can of beans, but this month is mental health awareness month. And I came across something the other day that I was gonna share with you guys, but I said to health that I'm gonna share it on the podcast. But it's Mr. RG3, Jeffrey Robert Griffin, he's a quarterback, former NFL quarterback.

Speaker: But he dropped this little gym on his, he dropped this little, uh, little gym. He was, when he came out, when he came out of college, he had a lot of expectations, but then injuries plagued him in his NFL career. And he was, we had been with a few teams, including Cleveland, Washington, and a couple other teams, but he dropped this little gym the other day and I really liked it. And it kind of goes with what I've been saying to you, Tony, and what I've been saying about the snakes.

Speaker: Don't use social media to impress people. Use it to impact people. You have a platform and an opportunity to change people's lives for the better. Take it seriously and make the most of it. I've done that. Yep, you have. But now... It's a reminder as well.

Speaker: But now you've fallen into a group of jackasses and they'll get you worked up much like you are right now. And I know you want to rant, I know you have something to say, so let me go ahead and give you a couple minutes to get what you've got to get off your chest. Like you said, use it for something positive and that's what I'm going to do. Yeah, and you know... Well, like I told you earlier, I feel... As another chorus to that song, Haters gonna hate.

Speaker: May I quote another song I've tried being humble humble gives no respect If you let a troll or or a snake as Chris puts it or a rat as I put it

Speaker: get to you, you're just giving them something to work with. You're giving the rat cheese. Hey, Debbie, that's right. Sweet. You had a beer. And? Get this cheese. And let me be clear. I'm going to throw this out there. Fuck it. There he goes. He took all those glasses off. Never. Wake me up when you're done. Excuse me. I'll be able to shout for you. I need to see you. Oh, that's fucked up. I need to see you. That's fucked up.

Speaker: Drop them names. Your friends know who you are. Your friends can hear me. Your friends are gonna tell you. I deal with a lot of shit up here. I've taken a lot of names, I put it with a lot of slack. I'm going off on some crazy shit, but that right there? That's fucked up. That's a good way. That's playing stupid games and getting stupid prizes right there. Playing is simple.

Speaker: Like I've been saying inquiring my broadcast not having nobody dog petting half can't see Roy Orbison half a Stevie Wonder non And I gave you credit I gave you big credit I never had a problem with you, but you want to come at me like that over some other shit. I

Speaker: And I know you know better, because you know some of the shit that I know. You already know how to look at shit when something goes wrong, because you know what the law is going to do. You know how to properly address it, but you still want to put all that other bullshit down. Even though you have some stuff that other people don't, and you want to get mad at them for their motherfucking opinions. You got my branch, you had yours. I faced you all before. You scared me. You don't even look like you can walk.

Speaker: Well, you got to remember, Tony, on that same note, all you ever do is sit down and look crooked at the camera, because your vision fucked up, but your mouth ain't stopped working. But you want to say some shit like that about me? About me. And I ain't ever crossed you. See, this is the thing.

Speaker: It's the part that piss me off. I ain't never cross shit. I ain't never came matching. I've told any and everybody up in here, if ain't nobody come with you, don't go with them. But some of y 'all had to run your fucking mouths and start shit. Don't accuse me of no shit like that. You done fucked up. That's why don't nobody watch your shit, bitch. Ooh. Well, yeah, but what you got, Tony? And this is me as a friend saying this. That was the call version of my father.

Speaker: That's fine, that's fine. You gotta remember one thing, and I remind myself every day, opinions are like assholes. Everybody's got one, and they all stink like shit. I just don't know who it is. I don't know how he wipes his. I do too.

Speaker: Every time you broadcast it with someone, you see them. So that's the thing that drives me nuts about these, about broadcasters out here. You got a problem with somebody, but y 'all won't say shit. You just vaguely talk. Put that name out there. You should've came and talked to me first. They're blocking me. I'm blocking my ass and getting the fuck up here. Oh, so he or she blocked you. Fuck that. What's going on, Mike? What's going on, sweet pea? I gave you an hour earlier. I know everybody told you.

Speaker: Because everybody talks about the shit I say on my broadcast. Has everybody got something to say about me and my motherfucking life? Well, that's because you're always on a broadcast, so everybody knows all about your life. Yeah, I've had my moments, but most of you who heard me last year know written down well what I'm going through right now ain't motherfucking normal. Anybody who's known me over the past 25, 27 years knows what I'm going through and ain't normal because I'm going to do this. Come on. I put my meds to the side. Come on.

Speaker: I won't drink tonight. Come on. We could talk civilized. Honestly, right hand on the Bible. Same oath you and I both took. We could talk this over like grown ass men. OK, so this guy. But since you don't want to be smarter about him, I got to call your stupid, idiotic, fucking punk ass out. Call him out and say his name. Say his name. What's his motherfucking name? I'm going to let them know I'm talking to him. They going to let them know I'm talking to him too, because I heard what you said, man. Apparently, trauma's already started. Please show the fuck up.

Speaker: I don't abuse children. I don't rape women. I don't do under that dumb shit. But if you come at me, I come the fuck back at you. So now you're going to see what everybody's talking about. Bring your butt bitch ass up in here. Lose some weight before you do it. I raped my hand. It's unwilling.

Speaker: I ran from my right hand last night, three times. I didn't do. I didn't do it, man. There's a lot of shit on that slide. Any and everybody up here who's been watching me over the past year, perhaps knows I let shit go, and I'll stay quiet for a minute. But when I get mad, I want to see your bitch ass. You don't do that shit you did, and I know you know better. I know you know better. I never knew that. You know better.

Speaker: I'm never going to use it. Stay quiet. You and I have similar stories. You and I kind of work the same career field. Father's going to need to be right in the middle of it. So you still juvenile in the brain, what you telling me? And then you want to call me a loser? Only thing I'm losing is patience. Bring your ass. It's Jeff, isn't it? Yes, it must be. It's because I'm white. Are you saying crooked ass, dog petting, can't see?

Speaker: I'm looking at your crooked ass. Normally you're petting a little white doggy. I don't know how long you can see. Judging by your hair, obviously not very well. As you know, Chris, it's been a day and a half and a day is now to go.

Speaker: Tony, I'm gonna tell you the same thing. You got mad at me. You know we're gonna have you. Oh, no, I know. I've gotten mad, and I've gone off, and I've had my rants, and I also call people out by their names. Just so you know. I try not to do this up here, because most people don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. But the motherfucker that I'm talking about, he knows exactly what the fuck I'm talking about. I don't know who the fuck you're talking about. I want to know who you're talking about. I do. My curiosity is... Check with the class. Yes.

Speaker: You're gonna bring treats. Bring treats for everybody. I'm gonna bring pretty smart with it. That's how rumors start. Give us initials. Not rumors if it's already out there and you've already said the things you've said. I'm still looking at you. You ain't come up yet. What's the hold up? You got so much to say, what's the hold up? We all want to know, Debbie says. Give us initials. Is he a white man or a black man? He calls himself a part of the mayonnaise gang. I don't even know what the fuck a mayonnaise gang is.

Speaker: I was gonna say, what the fuck does that mean? I mean... That sounds like some... That sounds like white. Wait for another month with your mayonnaise gang, and then you can celebrate all pride months. You'll also find out by the end of the week. Ooh, we'll find out by the end of the week.

Speaker: I'm moving on from this platform after tonight. We're done after tonight, thank God. Like I said, we've met some really cool people up in here and I hope to see them. I thank everybody up in here to try to keep me optimistic and positive before I go the fuck off. That's why I'm keeping my food for the most part.

Speaker: Some of y 'all want to hit y 'all rep with this shit. Some of y 'all juvin' all this shit older than me. Some of y 'all done this shit with education. I've got my problems, I've got my flaws, I've got my embers, and I've addressed them properly, even when I didn't. But, for you to come at me like that,

Speaker: My son's not abused. No, I would never even say that. You can be mad about a whole other shit, and I will let it go. But when you try to say I abused my son. Oh, no. That baby boy do rag the other night. Might be borderline. You'd be out of it. Yeah, that's the question. Well, Tony, let me go ahead and leave you here. Real quick, Jeffrey.

Speaker: Thank you, Debbie. But, sweet pea, to answer your question, we are actually going to go to StreamYard, so we will be live on YouTube, Twitch, and Facebook. Call it nonsensical nonsense. You know, we might sprinkle in Twitter from time to time, but mainly it's going to be YouTube and Facebook.

Speaker: Twitch but like I said Twitch and Twitter Do show up on StreamYard in real time There is a like 10 maybe 15 second delay But they will pop up and we will be able to see where you're at and your screen name if you know where you're at

Speaker: I'll go ahead and tell him to come on up in here, please. Tell him to come on up in here. Unblock me and come on up in here, please. I don't know who he is. We're going to end this show with a bang on Haps. We're going to end this show with a bang on Haps. Tell him to come on up here. I need to tell him. I just told him. I don't know who he is. I can't address him. I don't know who he is. I just told him. Him. Hey, him. Terrible band, by the way. I'm still with you. Go ahead, Jeff. I'm sorry. I apologize. I'm going to let you guys discuss this for a few minutes because I figured it out.

Speaker: Okay, Tony, I sent this to Chris, and I want your opinion. It's a riddle. And apparently nobody can solve it, and this riddle is breaking the internet, according to the image. And here's the riddle. So here's the riddle. If Teresa's daughter is my daughter's mother,

Speaker: Who am I to Teresa? Now here are your options of answer. A, grandmother. B, mother. C, daughter. D, granddaughter. Or E, I am Teresa. And I'll read it to you again. If Teresa's daughter is my daughter's mother, why am I to Teresa?

Speaker: And I'll throw it up here on screen so you can actually read it for yourself and if you need to see it. I'm too mad to think right now. Well, I, I, I haven't, I've been too busy to actually take time. It's Lisa's daughter is my daughter's mother. That's what you said, right?

Speaker: If Teresa's daughter is my daughter's mother, what am I to Teresa? I'm assuming grandmother, but I could possibly and would 100 % guess that I'm wrong. Because if Teresa's daughter is my daughter's mother,

Speaker: So daughter's mother, that would be... Right? If one train is traveling at 300 miles an hour and the other train is traveling at 50, at what point in Connecticut will they meet? Theresa's daughter is my daughter's mother. What does that make me to, Theresa? What does that make me to, Theresa? That makes nothing!

Speaker: So, Teresa? I gotta calm down, I'm sorry, shit. Teresa's... daughter. We'll call Teresa's daughter... Hey, Jodie, hey, Ash. Hey, Ash, what's going on here, baby? Is my daughter's mother. What does that make Teresa? What does that make me to Teresa? What am I to Teresa? She'll be the husband.

Speaker: That's a possibility. Well, the answers you can choose to give is grandmother, mother, daughter, granddaughter, or I am Teresa. I do not have an answer for this, because I once again, I just saw it. And I was like, damn, that's a good subject of conversation. What does that mean to me? Teresa's daughter, my daughter's mother. But Teresa's daughter's mother.

Speaker: Like, if Teresa's daughter is my mother's daughter. Your mother's daughter? Teresa's mother? My daughter's mother, yes. You could beat mother or the daughter. If Teresa's daughter is my daughter's mother, that was the question for it. Yes. If Teresa's daughter is my daughter's mother.

Speaker: That means you're the husband. It's not an option. No, it's grandmother, mother, daughter, granddaughter, or I am Teresa. Teresa sucks. Teresa, you fucking just tell me how you're related to this motherfucker. I would guess it's Teresa. Teresa's daughter is my daughter's mother. You could be Teresa.

Speaker: I'm going to go with Theresa. I'm going to go with Theresa. Well, yeah, I would say Theresa. What do you got, Chris? Oh, I already know. You said you figured it out. Yeah, you said you figured it out. Would you look it up? No. Tony and I are both saying E, I am Theresa. You'd be wrong. OK. She's her daughter. Explain your answer. Thanks for your answer. So basically, if Theresa's daughter is my daughter,

Speaker: daughter's mother, then what is the, what is my relationship? Right. So basically Teresa's daughter, the, my daughter part means me. So if you look at it that way, Teresa's daughter, Teresa's daughter is me. What am I to Teresa? So

Speaker: If Teresa's daughter is me, or my daughter's mother, it's her daughter. Teresa's daughter, Riddle.

Speaker: I'm gonna actually look it up. Oh, I haven't looked it up, I just... I was thinking my after work shit. It's the daughter, right? Yeah, it's the daughter. Yeah, so you are correct. The answer is her daughter. Afternoon shit, and I broke it down like a math equation.

Speaker: Well, that's what I was doing. I had a flow chart going on. I didn't finish writing it up. But apparently, the answer is her daughter. It's her dog! I like Tony's answer. It's her husband. That's her husband. Motherfucker's not even a little less, but I call her husband. It's like that old adage is, have you heard? I have another riddle for you. And it's kind of an easy one. If you've seen the movie 10 Cup, you'll know the answer.

Speaker: So a man and his son are driving a car. They get in the car accident. They both are taken to separate hospitals. The surgeon sees the son on the table and says, I cannot operate on this boy. He's my son. How is it possible? I know this, but I've heard it a million times that I can't. Right. So a man and his son are in a car. Car crash.

Speaker: Dad gets taken to the north, the hospital, the son gets taken to the south hospital. At the south hospital, he's the operator from the doctor who looks at the son and says, I cannot operate on this boy. He's my son. How is it possible? I agree. D. And when you hear the answer, you're going to shit yourself. I'm just a video. You know what Ash said? That's his grandpa. That's his mother. Oh, mother or grandpa either.

Speaker: Mothers are surgeons too. Women can't be surgeons. Women can't do a man's job. Get back in the kitchen, woman. I'm just kidding. It's to show your amount of chauvinistic -ness. It could go either way, mom or grandfather.

Speaker: Some people will sit there and go, did the dad teleport? Or was he Jesus? See, that's what kills people on riddles. They overthink it. And they're worded wrong on purpose. Right to make you overthink.

Speaker: It's Theresa. It was Theresa. The surgeon's Theresa. She's also the fucking nurse and the orderly too. So, you know, fuck her. That's a woman's job.

Speaker: A nurse. I'm sorry. Ladies, I'm kidding. I promise I'm joking. All of a sudden Chris gets his ass kicked. Hashtag cancel click. Shovinistic. Mother fuckers still living in the 1950s. We hate him. We hate Glick. That would be good publicity for the show though. Being wrong on that surgeon riddle basically says that you're chauvinistic.

Speaker: No, it doesn't. You don't believe a woman's... No, it does! Because you didn't... No, it doesn't. Did you once think of the mother being the doctor? No, it doesn't mean you're chauvinistic. Should I say it? It's a chauvinistic riddle. It's not a chauvinistic riddle. Most men don't believe women can be surgeons. That's what he's saying. Yeah, if your first thought is... I've already said that. If you hear... I know. But if your first thought is like, the doctor's a dude. So how's the dad, you know?

Speaker: Maybe, maybe the doctor used to be a dude and now is a woman still proven to do a better job of being a woman. I can't wait to introduce you to Timmy.

Speaker: Right? I am just grandpa friendly. I like Ashley's. I like Ashley's way of thinking. She's just grandpa friendly. What? They're jokes. It's what we do on this show. We do jokes. We make jokes. They're ha -has. If you don't get it, you're part of the problem. Yeah, exactly. We forget. It's Theresa. We know she's a shady fucker. We're both recording this. Ashley's killing us. We're talking to her. Fucking Theresa over here.

Speaker: God, I hate trees. Fuck trees, hashtag fuck trees. That's our new t -shirt right there, Chris. Hashtag fuck trees. All the trees around the world are like, what do we do? Why do these guys hate us? It's like all these women being called Karen. I actually spoke to a woman today. Her name was Karen, and I almost laughed through the entire conversation. Did you ask her if she wants to speak to your manager?

Speaker: At one point, I swear she was about ready to ask. And I was like, if this woman asks to talk to my manager, I'm gonna fucking lose it. I want to speak to Tony's manager the way he's been acting the last couple days. Steven, she's actually real sweetheart if she is losing. Stop letting these motherfuckers get to you, dude. Trust me. You will feel so much better. You gotta remember, it's water off a duck's ass and shit out of a goose. You ever see the goose taking shit?

Speaker: I know, seriously, seriously, you ever seen a goose take a shit? It shoots like 20 feet. No, that's not, that's not on my daily to -do list. Let's go watch the geese take shits. No, no, that's, that's the same. What are you doing? I'm watching goose's shit. Watch the goose's shit. Watch the goose's shit. Are you very watching, sir? That hurts about shit. That hurts about shit.

Speaker: Yeah, you started to glitch there Jeffrey Vacation friends Tony

Speaker: You gotta see that movie, Vacation Friends, holy shit. It's funny as hell because - It's not a movie that I thought I'd be like laughing out loud, but I was fucking rolling, dude. And Tony's a wrestling fan too.

Speaker: So, water out of a goose. Jeff's into some weird shit apparently, Ash. I don't know. But you know, you're used to a certain image and a certain way that John Cena carries himself, like from wrestling and stuff like that. And in this movie, Vacation Friends, it's a complete 180. It's a complete 180. That's why he's going to be a billionaire soon. And he's funny as hell.

Speaker: He is funny. You know what? I'll be honest. As much as I hated that damn second Suicide Squad, he killed it. Oh yeah. Oh, that's right. You gotta watch Peacemaker on HBO. He killed it. I know. I've heard good things. He's on my list. If that doesn't become his goddamn new career playing that character for the rest of his fucking life, I don't know. But I watched the video, speaking of Chuck. Seriously, check it out. It's John Cena and

Speaker: He's the only real super famous person that you'll write. Well, King Botch is in it. He's real big on Vine. He used to wall it out. Yeah, he's a comedian. He's a YouTube comedian. Yeah, he started out on Vine. He got famous on Vine. Fine, yeah. But nobody in it is super duper, duper, duper famous except John Cena. I don't know. And Cena carries that fucking movie, but it's

Speaker: So good. And you will remember the one line of him going, that bird's a gun of shit. Yeah. You do it. He's doing a Betty White. He just does what he has to do and moves on. Yeah. And he's good. That's the thing. Like he's surprisingly really good. I was watching. I was after I took my my 45 minute nap at work today.

Speaker: That's a good nap, though. You feel good after the nap. Well, it was supposed to be a half hour, and I slept through my alarm. Because I usually, like, during my lunch break, I'll take a half hour lunch break or a nap. Right. But I was scrolling through. I think I was going to do fire. Yeah. I was scrolling through YouTube, and it was like one of the YouTube shorts of John Cena and Shaq getting into a smart car, one of the original smart cars. I saw that. I saw that.

Speaker: That shit happened inside. And Shaq's like, I don't think we're going to fit. And John's like, no, we can do it. Yeah, he's like, there's way more room on the inside once you open it up. And Shaq's trying to squeeze it. And he's like, yeah, just go ask first. And you see Shaq's big ass right in the scene in his face. And she was like, shit. Speaking of Shaq, did you see my man Shaq at a Blacktop Mojo concert? Yeah, I saw that. Yeah, Wendy typed us in there. I was seriously impressed.

Speaker: Well, yeah, I sent it to you boys because I was like, that's cool. Shaq just went up on my book. I gave another point to Shaq because the dude is fun as fuck. And you know what? He's a big kid. He said that. Oh, yeah, he is. Shaq's always been one of my favorites. I used to love watching him at the NBA All -Star Games.

Speaker: Right. When he would fuck with people or challenge people to dance competitions and shit. He would fuck with dance too, big dude. But you know Shaq, Shaq is going to stand out like a sore thumb at a Blacktop Mojo concert too. Oh yeah, no shit. A dude with a white beater and just rocking it the fuck out. Fucking loved it. And on top of that, just I can imagine me and Shaq hanging out, I'd be like, rocket on group shoulder.

Speaker: Kevin Hart is actually two inches taller than me. Kevin Hart's a giant compared to Jeff. Well, he's two inches taller than Jeff. I would literally be standing on Shaq's shoulders. Let me find out your shorter than Kevin Hart and Bow Wow. I'm going to know something. How tall is Bow Wow? I think Bow Wow and I are the same size.

Speaker: As we all grab our phones, I feel like we've had this oh, yeah He's five seven That dude's way taller me Actors that are five foot three And fuck you Prince was my size Tony

Speaker: I think that lady was taller than you two. Joe Pesci and I are the same size. Paul Simon. Martin Scorsese. I never realized Scorsese is that short. God damn Plessy. Could you pick Scorsese out of a lineup? Of course. Scorsese is awesome. You said he's proud of you. I could pick Paul Sorin out of him. There's Scorsese right there, Chris.

Speaker: You tell me you can't pick that dude out of the lineup? No. I was just gonna say, I know his movies, I know his movies and everything like that, but I couldn't pick him out of a... If you put six old white dudes beside each other that were short, I wouldn't know who the sports crazy was. Hey, you know what? Fucking guys, I win. I win. What do you win? Dio's my size, man. All people who are cooler than you. Yes.

Speaker: all the Jewish guys are his size what the fuck Malcolm Young? Fuck you! Karate fucking Pat Morita was my size which means I could whip all your asses Dimitri Johnson? or do I know him? he's an MMA fan DO you have rules?

Speaker: Hey man, Shaq's living his best life, but hey, you know, that's the thing about Shaq, OG. You know, he'll spend money when he needs to, but that motherfucker will save the hell out of money, too. Hey, thanks a lot, Eric. Appreciate you, man. You said that guy's a badass MMA fighter. I don't know. Kevin Hart's 5 '5".

Speaker: I think 77 has nicer hair than Jeff. Johnson is legit. Yeah. Is that Demetri Johnson? Yeah. Tony, you watch. You still watch a little bit of MMA, don't you? Very little.

Speaker: Man once they started buying up all the other companies and now they've got what is it like 37 men's weight classes and 16 women's divisions You can't keep up on the fighters anymore. I don't know who

Speaker: I bet she even pulled a Babe Ruth before she said that and called her shot. That was a bit of a beach ball. It is what it is.

Speaker: That's like Jeff telling me today how scared all of his neighbors are of him. I'm like calm down. You know what? They're gonna send your ass back to the munchkin guild if you ain't careful.

Speaker: I'll send you back to Johnny Depp's chocolate factory. Chris and I were talking about this on... Jeff was the 8th dwarf in the Snow White. Here's the 8th dwarf. Dipshit dwarf.

Speaker: You remember the Gene Wilder Willy Wonka, correct? Do you remember when they're licking the wallpaper and he says the snowsberries taste like snowsberries? No. Do you know what a snowsberry is? No. The snowsberry is

Speaker: a term used in a book that came out the same year as Willy Wonka screenplay came out. And it's a euphemism for male organism. It's a euphemism for male organism. Yes, a male organ.

Speaker: So literally Billy Walker was having these kids lick dick tasting wallpaper. The thing about that story was apparently there's a lot of pedophilia in that movie. That's why I never really watched it. I remember hearing that a long time ago. Alice in Wonderland was written by a pedophile I believe.

Speaker: So all that shit's a little... Oh shit, I didn't know that. I didn't know that. Yeah, I think somebody better quote me on it, but Willy Wonka then was real fucking... But Chris and I were live on TikTok, I was scrolling through weird movie facts that you didn't know, and reading them off to him, and that one got me. Because that girl turns and she goes... That's a good top 10 list. What's that?

Speaker: Um, seriously, a lot of them stories. They were written by dudes. They had some real awkward. Top 10 that I can pull up and I can give you guys go. So not right now. I'm going to, I'm going to make a note. Some of the mysteries from around Disney world.

Speaker: I read an article on that a couple of years ago. There's some evil shit. I did too. In the Pirates of the Caribbean, there's real bones in some of there. There's a graveyard out there. One of them buildings is haunted and some shit like that. People go through... It's a small world and you scatter people's ashes a lot too. Do you know that nobody has ever died on any Disney property?

Speaker: That's true. I didn't know that. That it's a fucked up thing. If you die... If your cost of death, they will literally say, get this motherfucker. Oh, don't call the time of death until they're off property. Yeah. If you would say, say you're like riding a roller coaster and you have a heart attack and die. Disney's, because they got their own police department and their own... They used to. You just lost that motherfucker last week. They just lost it. They just lost the last week. They got their own fucking government. The Santa ripped it out.

Speaker: So if you died on the on a property

Speaker: Until you got out the gates. That was when they announced your time because so they can say nobody has ever died dude the Disney facts and the Disney like the Disney Interesting facts or strange rules or stuff like that. I've gone down those wormholes so many fucking times Actually, that would be a good top 10 series to do actually let me jot that down in my little

Speaker: We've corrupted another one You know was really scary click I'm gonna really tell a lot of people that wait to see what's underneath Walt Disney World. Oh, yeah. No, that's crazy Yeah, that'll actually actually

Speaker: That'll be good. Starting Wednesday. I'll start the Disney top 10 facts and rules and legends and stuff like that series for the top 10. You got to prove it. That's all I got to say. I don't got to prove anything. If it's on the internet, it's true. No, no, no. Yeah, exactly. It's still like if it's on TikTok. Legends are not necessarily true. No, because we can say there's theories and legends, conspiracy theories about Disney World.

Speaker: We'll call it that. The top ten conspiracy theories. The fucking... The Disney and Mafia are gonna come and get me? Take me to the most magical place on Earth? The happiest place on the planet? Bullshit, that place is scary as fuck after a couple of the shit I've written. Please, Disney. Don't come and take me away. Pfft. I ain't worried. You think you're the only 6 foot, 260 pound motherfucker in the world, don't you? 270, thank you very much. Jesus, you're a fat ass.

Speaker: It's not a hard -ass thing. It's a what are they? It's not going to pull it. I'm going to pull it from YouTube videos and stuff that's already on the internet. So what are they going to come out? Single me out, not the thousands of people who have already done it. It's not like I created a brand new idea on tonight's podcast. I'm like, let's do Disney urban legends and strange facts because that's never been done before. No, but there's a bunch of weird shit. I openly steal it from.

Speaker: 9 ,000 other people who have already done this. It's 100 % plagiarism, we'll put it that way. I'll tell you what, let's have fun with this. You do the Disney list. I'll do the stories behind the man -made lakes. Man -made lakes? I'll do it. Look behind, look up the story of Lake Lanier in Georgia. Oh, that's another wormhole I've been down. No, that's a good wormhole. Oh, no. You want, you know,

Speaker: Have you ever seen the movie Basic? Yeah, man. Man made, not woman made. Damn, that's a good movie. I didn't like it. Really? I take that back. I take that back. I didn't like the General's daughter. I could deal with Basic. I didn't like the General's daughter. No, the General's daughter was fucked up. The General's daughter pissed me off. Basic is genius. The General's daughter? You know what's good about the General's daughter? You know that shit's true. Oh yeah, that's like true stories. Which one had Christian Slater in it? No, wait, that was Hard Rain with John Travolta.

Speaker: That was a good damn movie, okay. No, that was a good damn movie. Hard Rain was Morgan Freeman and Christian Slade, not John Travolta. What was the one John Travolta and Christian Slade? Broken Arrow. Broken Arrow. Broken Arrow. That movie's so weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Show was instant, Blake Baker's. Cancel them. No, no, but in basic, they tell a fact about the canal. In basic, they tell a fact about the secret society of the military. Cancel them. Whoa, easy buddy. Well, not secret society, but a secret. Illuminati. Section eight.

Speaker: Not Illuminati, no. No. No, it's like... Section 8 is Government Assistant Living. No, it's not. Yes, it is! No, it's not. Section 8 means you're crazy. No, it doesn't. Yes, it does. What is Section 8?

Speaker: According to Wikipedia, Section 8 of the Housing Act of 1937, often called Section 8, as routinely amended, offerizes the payment of rental housing assistance to private landlords on behalf of low -income households in the United States. When you section 8 out of the military, it's because you've lost your mind. He doesn't know that, Jeff. I know he doesn't. He doesn't know that. That's why I said quiet out. Like, I already knew it before the two of you were going to do it. Put Section 8 military term.

Speaker: What is the Section 8 in a military term? I'm looking. Oh, he's too afraid to ask Siri. No, let him look it up. See if it's up there. Yeah, it's to say, yeah. I wasn't arguing with you, but why would I? Oh my god. Right?

Speaker: When I want no quitters and lesbians and cross dressers in our military. Get them out of here. Go ahead and read it. Go ahead and read it. That's what it says. Don't read it out loud. Section 8 was given to cross dressers, gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgender people. And they got to delete that motherfucker too. They got to delete it as of right now. They were just mentally unfit. Over the past 10 years, they've had to delete this shit. You can't do that no more. Well, that's according to Wikipedia and that's not in the last 10 years.

Speaker: But again, why would I know that? Maybe if I was going to do stolen baller and I needed to do research on military stuff so I knew all the ins and outs. That's been there. They did not play the homosexual game. Now they have to. I mean, that goes way back when. Did they still do don't ask? No. Right now, you can't talk against them. It's a crime. You can be a transgender in the military. And they have to pay for it.

Speaker: They will pay for transgender reassignment surgery. I don't know about transgender reassignment. I know they will pay for implants. But if you come in as a transgender, you have a right to serve this country if you are a resident, if you are a citizen. And that's true. You have a right to defend this country. We're going to talk shit all day, but I've been over there. There was a couple of homosexual dudes or at least feminine looking dudes walking around that motherfucker.

Speaker: but they had a gun and it was on my side. Yeah, but body dysmorphia.

Speaker: AKA transgender is not cosmetic. It is considered a mental illness or a mental disease. So your insurance, all insurance will pay for gender reassignment surgery now. It's not just the military. It's across the board. We've got a good story just popped up. Yeah, so it's my broster. God, you know what? I'm going to bring him up.

Speaker: Yeah, that would be a good thing to bring Nick up for. But you know what? I probably won't, because he'll get really mad at me really fast. And it'll go sideways. We'd have to breach it with him before we bring him up. Like, hey, we're going to ask some weird questions. Yeah.

Speaker: Enlighten us dumbasses with your knowledge But no, I mean there's a lot of there's a lot of changes that are going on in the military right now even like As far as like the facial hair goes They are North paganism a real religion. And if you claim to be Norse pagan, you don't have to shave That's gonna be a war. There's a lot it's happening and there's a lot of guys that are doing it That's gonna be a war

Speaker: Now you can't go, I don't think you can go full crazy, like long like mine, but you don't have to shave. There's a measurement that was always in the UCMJ in the form of the regulations. Not the use of the regulations, there was a reason that you can have. Those of us who have pseudofilicalitis barbae. Now you're just making shit up. Oh no, I'm not googling.

Speaker: Turn your Siri on. I'll pronounce it for you so she can give it to you. Is that the scientific word for alopecia? No. Yeah, I can't say it. Judo follicolitis barbeau. Razorbumps. That sounds like some shit that Jeff got on the beach down in Cancun. Raiserbumps. Razorbumps? That's the technical term for it. Isn't that like, so it's a dermatology thing? It's like razor burn.

Speaker: Razor bumps and razor burn. The head bumps and everything? Yeah. That's a medical diagnosis. I got it. They gave it to me as soon as I got there. They said, go to Shave the clinic now. Why you shaved all the time? Grow your beard out. And shave by their regulations. Looking like you got it. Why you just doing it? Sifflest pimples on your face. Purpees, pussing out, all over the place. I got proof I ain't got none of it. Do I want the STDs? I don't have it, but do you want it? I have it.

Speaker: What's going on here, Tony? Do you have it or do you not have it? Norse didn't call themselves a ninja, what happened to you? Just calling the reason. But the medical term for it is pseudophilicolitis barber. Y 'all hold on, one goddamn second. They use the Norse paganism on the police department or the STD that Tony has on his face.

Speaker: We're gonna get off here. Tony's gonna do a life about these. This motherfucker. Come on up. Bring your ass in here. I know you know I'm talking to you. I'm gonna come in and be like, what are you talking about, Tony? I'm not disagreeing with you. I've just never heard of it. No, I've never heard of all that. Thank you, Jody. Yeah. Do you see the shit I go through up here? I wasn't disagreeing with you. I didn't know what it was.

Speaker: I didn't know what it was. I just told yo ass. I wasn't disagreeing with yo ass. Fuck. You're always looking for a friend. For 25 years you still fact checked me on if you use a hammer for a nail. Really Jeff? Am I wrong? Am I wrong in fact checking you?

Speaker: I didn't say you were wrong. I'm just saying. I've known you for 25 years. There's a reason why I fact check you. If you have to, if you have to, if you tell Chris you have to use a hammer for a nail, he'll fact check you. No, just you. No, just you. Just me. Just you. There's a reason. Again, I've known you for 25 years. So there's a reason why I fact check you. What did you die? What did you die? Not yet.

Speaker: Well, you're also in Mexico and I'm in Ohio. There's a little bit of a gap between them. I'm pretty sure the whole Let's Hang Glick from the Raptors was your fucking idea. I think it was. He's the biggest one in the class. If we're going to show the tensile strength of that thing, throw a glass of Barry. I don't know about that suit. And you know what's crazy classic?

Speaker: I know white people that mess me up. Oh yeah. I didn't really, when we would go, it was always black guys that went. I never saw white guys, but see y 'all seen white guys with like the red bumps. I didn't realize that what it was. I thought it was just acting. They were like, no, they got it. There was a guy that I worked with at Orca and I had it real bad. He could only use an electric shaver.

Speaker: I use magic shade. It told me to stop burning my skin. You use bad yourself? I'm going to fake it. I don't think it's for your face. I hate to use it. Yes, for your hair cream. Keep it up. What? Since you're down this will damn much, you don't want to give her anything. Tony, can you use, can you use, can you use Nair? That's actually a good question. I've never done it. Um,

Speaker: I know women use it on their legs, but I used to use Magic Shave. Now we just use triple edge regular shaving cream. But I gotta, what I was doing was using Cold War. You know, we was in the Russian military. You know, military didn't give me no time to hurry up, so. What? Air time, we love to have air time. I'm just saying, who the fuck is that? I got that too. Air time? What is air time? That's the app we're on. A bunch of us are on this, this app's just shutting down.

Speaker: But yeah, if you, if you, when you go to the barbershop and they put that hot towel on your face and they wait, there's a reason they're doing it and it makes total sense. A lot of us in the military, they don't have that patience. Yeah, it's over your pores. It opens your pores up and closes it down. Yeah, classic. I can't use it. A lot of these burns came from when I had it back then. And even when I've tried to clear it up, this is technically, I should be getting more of a percentage rating than what I have now. But yeah, I see that was from Twitter. I was just actually looking at the notification.

Speaker: So anybody I can talk about this. Well, uh, what's, what's up manscape .com. If you're listening, Tony, Tony's willing to be your, uh, Oh, man. We can all be there. Spokesperson. They've got everything for everything. Beard, beard, listen, your balls hook me up. I don't even want a lot. Yeah. You got a beard, no beard, your balls. It don't matter. They hook it all up. That's what I'm saying. What?

Speaker: That's good. That's the biggest joke on landscape shaving your balls. Yeah, that's good for you. Never shave your balls. It's hygienic. You know how hot it gets down here? Wash it. No, no, no, no, no. Fuck you. Oh, gee, I think I think I got rid of that. I went to the ATM today. I went to the ATM today. You asked them out today? I went to the ATM today.

Speaker: You asked him out today. That's a hell of a that's a hell of a confession Jeffrey Jeffrey said he would he Jeffrey said he went to the ATM ATM stands for ass to mouth when porn Chris get off fucking xnxx and fucking use your brain. I went to the cash machine. You said it, bro

Speaker: Look, I'm not your Catholic priest. By the time I got to the Catholic, it's not for that shit. Forgive me, Father, for I have said... Hey, Tony. As a Catholic, that's the loophole to premarital sex. What is? Anal. That's a loophole for all religion. What are you talking about? Exactly. You know what the Mormons do? It's mentioned in the Bible. You know what the Mormons do? Yes, it is.

Speaker: You know what the Mormons do? It is, right? This is all this goodness thing. This is the new trend with the Mormons. Because you're not supposed to have sex until marriage. Oh, I know. Yeah. They will. They will. If you've got a boyfriend and girlfriend, they'll get naked on the bed together. The boyfriend will stick his pecker inside of her. And then four or five of their friends will come and jump on the bed. Jumping from the bed. What? Yep. Because it's technically it's penetration, but not movement.

Speaker: But the vibration is dead. And then right before he nuts, they stop. He climbs off. Yeah. That's what the Mormons are doing. You crazy? That's what's called the nut. Discipline. Discipline. What's it called again? Well, you ain't a virgin. What is that called? What's it called? I forget what it is. But it was all over TikTok when we talked about it the last time. Yeah, it was on TikTok. It was in the news. It was bumping or something? I've never heard that shit before in my life.

Speaker: Oh, dude, it's fucked up. That's ridiculous. The biggest is when you have to... Wow, don't anybody go to my Google search, whatever you do. Mormon sex jumping on bed. Marinating is what it's called. No, but it was called something else, too. Something commonly done by Mormon teens expected to remain virgins until soaking or marinating? Soaking.

Speaker: OK, so it is something that commonly done by Mormon teens expected to remain virgins until marriage, soaking warm or marinating, written according to hello from Russia. What's going on? What's going on, Russia? According to Mormonism, it does not count as sex, thus for movement.

Speaker: They ask a friend or friends to jump on the bed to create a sex -like movement called jump -humping. This concept is not new. BYU students call it marinating, soaking, or jump -humping.

Speaker: But like, they even do it where like, the one I saw on TikTok was the couple was in the top bunk of a bunk bed and the buddies below pushing up the mattress. Fair kids watching, listening to this or watching this right now plug your ears. Yes.

Speaker: That's the last thing I want to do when I'm a virgin is to lay on top of my girlfriend with my pecker inside of her and then have all my buddies come in and jump on the bed.

Speaker: Oh yeah. Well, once again. It's not safe. Hey, Chris, you walk on me while I'm inside a woman. I'm going to check you. Oh, dude. You know, you know, dude. First of all, you know damn well. If you stop me from finishing, I'm going to kill you. First and foremost, hey, if you ever asked me to do that, I'd be like, what the fuck? And then I'd go, ding, ding, ding. Yeah, I got you. Couple jumps in.

Speaker: Let's think about this for a second the homeboys jumping on the bed they stopping you we're stopping them from getting on her That's not good That's not good popular searches It's you know

Speaker: Here's the thing, it's popular in the United States. It's popular in the United States and the Mormon kids. Because I asked my wife about it, who grew up in the Mormon, and she's like, wait, what is it? And I literally showed her the videos from TikTok. Why'd you show her the video and not let her read it? Jesus Christ, you're so... No, I didn't let her read it too, but she didn't believe it. She believed it was true. No, she didn't believe it was true. She's like,

Speaker: Huh? Yeah, she's like, no, there's no way this is true. Because anybody can write something on Wikipedia or whatever. And I was like, no, there's a whole series of videos talking about, uh, soaking and stuff on TikTok. And it's, you know, it doesn't show anything graphic. It's just like, uh, the annoyance parts of being the jumper in a soaking team. Yeah, you're not getting none.

Speaker: Dude holding his phone just have sex pushing on the bottom of a bunk bed with his foot He was helping his buddy

Speaker: A lot of people find loopholes in the whole, you know, Catholics and Christians do anal sex because then they're still a virgin.

Speaker: We don't do that

Speaker: What I'm saying is I beg to differ I've seen this for you Yes Most the Catholic's, you know, I can't speak

Speaker: will not tell you to your face the truth of their sex life. What truth of their sex life would be? Tell me I'm lying. What truth of their sex life would be? If they've done anal, or they've done ATM, or they've done anything - Most normal people are not going to go talk about their sex lives to everybody in the neighborhoods, Jeff. They're not Jeff and Mike. No, no, no. But that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying.

Speaker: Just because you think you know somebody, you don't know them in the bedroom unless you've been in there. Now, let's be clear, Jeff. You don't know anybody in the bedroom. But as far as the religious aspect, you don't even know his wife in the bedroom. Ooh, Jesus, spin them off. Fuck you. I have two kids. I have three kids. Fuck you. As somebody who's going to raise Catholic and I stand on this till I fucking die, not all priests do that shit. Not all of them are on the set. No, that's true. Because a bunch of Catholics, most of the ones that I fucking know,

Speaker: We're heterosexual. That's like saying, not everybody's a serial killer. No, but like I said, the ones that I know. Not everybody. Not everybody's a racist. I've been to more than just the Catholic churches that I've been raised in. Not everybody's a drug dealer. I don't see all of this. I don't see all of that. But it happens. I didn't even know it was going on until I heard it on this. Nobody knew it was going on until it came out on the news.

Speaker: Nobody knew Jeffrey Dahmer was chopping up dudes that he met at the gay bar until it was on the news. And the problem is, they don't even understand what part of the capital church is guilty of it more than anything. It's not all of it. Well, no, they put it as a generalization, like all black men are drug dealers. Exactly, and he's stupid.

Speaker: And by the way, I want the weed I paid you for. I want the weed I paid you for. You're a drug dealer. No, but. I'm making all the money off of it anyway. Give us our money back, bitches. Exactly. But my point is, just because you don't know personally doesn't mean they haven't held that part of them back. Let me stand my ground as a Catholic as that shit I've never been a part of. It didn't happen in any congregation that I'm in. Go ahead and bring out the ones that they did have it in and don't preclude my own.

Speaker: How do you know? No, no, no, no, no. How do I know? That's what I'm saying. How do you know? I was very active in my churches. That's how he does it now, because it was him and he don't want to come clean. No, he wasn't. He was trying to get everybody. He was like, hey, come on. Let me fuck your ass. What the fuck? Show us a little bit of a problem with trying to sleep with white girls that I did with my man, trust me.

Speaker: Really? Yes, I did. The matcha cheese big to differ. I don't do dudes. I do women. Ladies college. You said we have it on record that the matcha cheese were your number five favorite toy of all time. Five. Because we're already taking.

Speaker: There was a lot of toys that were there were and y 'all took the fucking good ones And you were with you were with you went with tiny muscled old up like you know Manudo African -american Catholic I have no sexual desire for a man ladies. I love you to have everything I'm looking for in life. You basically said

Speaker: Like you said, we have you on record saying it. Here's my question, Tony. Does it gross you out to men together? Yes. You fucking serious? It's 2022, motherfucker. I won't give a fuck. I was in the military. We had to share showers. I'll be the first one in the first one out because I don't want to be there with the rest of the motherfuckers. I can see it now. Hashtag canceled, Tony.

Speaker: He says all that stuff, but yeah, he won't name drop the guy who's talking shit about it because that's how bullshit stuffs I'm trying to look for that motherfucker specifically like I tell everybody else to goddamn do

Speaker: I'm trying to look for that motherfucker specifically, but I'm going to keep him anonymous. Tony, I'm going to give you an example. As a single man, you should be grateful for all gay men. Why? I'm going to tell you why. Because that's more pussy for you. You're really stretching this. No, think about it. That's more pussy for you. Am I wrong? No, you're not at all. Because then you got less dudes going after the pussy you want.

Speaker: That's not even remotely accurate. Because you make it sound like Tony's going down the road. How many guys are on the planet? How many women are on the planet? You make it sound like Tony only hangs out in gay communities. So he's like, yeah, look. We got women down here. And none of the men are going to go after him. So I got a better chance. That doesn't make your chances better just because a dude's gay. Let's say there's a million guys in a room and a million girls in a room.

Speaker: 40 % of the guys are gay That's more pussy for you But how often is that scenario even really as Paul's? Thank you as I Beat the brakes off of some stud ass bitch. I'm just letting it be no I was trying not to say it you said this

Speaker: Because you damn sure, right, I see it. I think most women would choose lesbianism ever being with Jeff, just so. Oh, I highly doubt that. Trisha, Trisha, that bitch! Fucking Trisha up there. There's no Trisha. Hey, Sadie. Chris, you've seen my wife. You've seen at least like three of my ex -girlfriends. None of them are bad looking.

Speaker: uh some of the girls that you've conversated with in high school were uh oh no no no there's never a conversation yeah but you're conversating we knew it i know what your conversating meant i didn't there was there was that one in cosmetology that was uh about as short as you and big as me

Speaker: That's disrespectful. She was taller than you if you put her on her side. Fuck your friends, you're getting pussy. Exactly!

Speaker: You're getting pussy, fucker. Chris, I want to make a good specific point that I used to live by, and I've tried to catch it now, but no one on their deathbed says I wish I got less pussy. People with STDs do. People with too many kids do. People with alimony do. People with chill shots would do. If you're under deathbed? Tell that to the people in the 80s and 90s that were dying of AIDS.

Speaker: once again. He's not mad that they got, they had sex. They're mad that they got an STD. But if they hadn't had, but if they, but if they, if they didn't have sex, they wouldn't have gotten AIDS. What about the people that cut themselves and then help someone that's been cut that has AIDS and then they get AIDS. That's not my point. If you put STDs and kids and all that shit aside, nobody's mad that they had a bunch of sex.

Speaker: Yes, there are. But it's not the only thing that matters in life is having a bunch of sex. You're just a mad porn star? No, I'm talking about people who call it victims. Have you never heard me and Khalifa's dumbass talk? Victims. Why are you listening to her talk?

Speaker: You stupid motherfucker! She is naked! No, because she thinks she's a sports analysis now. And if you bring up her porn career, the thing that made her Mia Khalifa, the thing that made her popular, the thing that made her rich, if you bring it up, she loses her fucking mind. I'll tell you what, back to me now. Ask Paul, she's not helping.

Speaker: The Mormons are apparently happy that they're marinating. I have no problem with your size. I'm just saying. I don't go to a steakhouse and say, give me a bone. Tell me I'm lying. Do you go to a steakhouse and say, give me a bone? Oh, shit. What if I do? Oh, shit. And you're weird. No, that's usually at the truck stop when you go and ask for a bone. Or three.

Speaker: Pops is a truck driver That's just bore you to love baby

Speaker: Oh, I don't want to say this now. Go ahead. You can't hurt my feelings. I'm not looking at your feelings. We got an audience. I'm speaking. I will never lie about stuff like this. Because I don't see the point in it. Like if I wound up one day saying I like dudes, I'm not going to lie to you guys. Not that I do.

Speaker: You loved getting settled. It wasn't the size, it was the motion in the ocean. It's not the size of the fish. You can't swim for shit. You used to love being my little spoon. Motion in the ocean is nothing new is swimming. You weren't complaining when you was crying. I knew my boat's a little bit too small. That's why I got the shirt. Tiny pecker gang.

Speaker: Oh, really? You don't like dudes? You don't like dudes, huh? What does that say? We were married. We were married!

Speaker: I have no... ...issue of anybody's sexuality. I have zero... I have zero... I have one percenter, yeah. One intro, I mean. Not one percenter. One intro. I used to say one percenter. Jesus Christ. I'm walking out of here.

Speaker: Yeah, you just draw high. They kill themselves because they're so disappointed when they see it. So I'm like, yeah, I killed him. So I get down. I'm a dangerous man. But in all seriousness, I have nothing to hide when it comes to sexuality. I have no problem with anybody's orientation or what they want to do in bed. There's an ask for every seat. If it makes you happy, it's not hurting you or somebody else. Well, we did a while back. We did that top 10 porn searches. And there was some stuff on there that was just like,

Speaker: Wow. OK. I don't know if you're on the show. Seriously, that list, no, I think it was just before, like a little while before Tony. But there was stuff on there where it was like it was the 2019 top 10 searches on Pornhub. Subjects. And categories were. And we were just like, whoa.

Speaker: There's some awkward shit up there. Oh no, there's, uh, don't be wrong. I spent a lot of time on porn that my wife is not here. So, because, because I'm trying to be a good husband, I'm not gonna, I could, I could definitely not get pussy, but I don't want to, because I love my wife. But that doesn't mean that I can't break my, my hand. Just say it.

Speaker: What else are we on? Let's go for the cruise. We are Hap's favorite athletes. But my point is, the list that Chris read out. What's going on, G? As two guys that spend way too much watching porn, we were just like, whoa. I mean, it was a lot for me. And I was like, damn. I guess if that's what you're into.

Speaker: Took a time out to go fry some chicken. I was doing some self -reflecting, as I often do when I'm holding mini Chris in my hands. And I just realized that it's a Monday, and it's kind of turned... It's usually like two fingers, but I mean... Got a full fist out of his ankles so we don't wet his zipper.

Speaker: Don't worry about it. I'll leave you back. Somehow, somehow, the Monday chill relax show has turned into a Saturday night show. Well, no, it's all worth the subject taste shit. Yeah, no, I'm not complaining. I'm just saying. My point is, if it makes you happy, you're not hurting somebody, you're not hurting yourself. It's not in. It's a fair game.

Speaker: Like little chopsticks. It's not going to go to the bathroom. Yeah? Little chopsticks. Yeah, he carries pepper into the bathroom. No, it's already in there. I got it. I got a pepper. I got a pepper dispenser. A little pepper dispenser. Come on out, little turtle body. You don't have to be scared. Poke your head out. It's all right. I know you got a potty. Same concept. No, dude.

Speaker: Who's a big boy? Who's a big boy? Look at you. You're so big next to the Barbie hand. You know what? You got to do what you got to do. Hey. My name is the Barbie credit card, so it looks massive. As I've said before, I couldn't have it all. I was blessed with the great personality, amazing looks, a fantastic beard. I had to have something against me. And this is why Chris wears glasses, too, by the way.

Speaker: Don't wear glasses. Prove it. You're gonna lie to my face. You act like you've never lied to my face. You're gonna sit there and tell me you don't have a pair of glasses sitting on your desk. You lie like a broke -dick dog on a fucking tore -up rug. I thought I had problems. That poor dog.

Speaker: Wow. That's the black shirt, black shirt show. We all do have black shirts. We decided to match tonight. We got before the show, we all, we were all on a step. Let's all wear black shirts today.

Speaker: And Tony was like, why's it got to be black? And I was like, oh my god. Black shirts matter, Tony. I would have said that. Tony's like, well, I was like, all right, whatever, Tony. We can wear the white shirts. He was like, oh yeah, the white shirts. Bring it down to black shirts, typical. Don't forget your hood, motherfucker. His crew is still wearing white. But he wouldn't wear the pink ones. He's too manly for that. No, I'm not. Even though you know damn well black men can pull the pink shirt off like nobody else. 75th, though.

Speaker: Hey, some people can pull off certain colors, and I can't pull off certain colors. I know I can. What was that, Jeff? No, like certain colored shirts. What was that, colored? I'm not racist. Y 'all want to start this shit for real, don't you? Y 'all want to start this shit for real, don't you? I'm not racist. I have a colored TV.

Speaker: No, I'm just... Never mind, there it is. I was just getting ready to say I'm just trying to get a soundbite. There it is. One day... My car's black! Moni, come on, man!

Speaker: One day, one day we're all going to be sitting in the courtroom. And Tony and Eric are going to be sitting up on the stand, just like Johnny Depp, burying the hell out of Chip and laughing. It was a makeup plate, yes. That's going to be my lawyer's defense. It's like, well, he was drinking, so, you know. And Crystal's just like, were you there?

Speaker: I have video evidence. Do you? Shut up, Christian asshole! As I jump the stand, start charging. Put my hand out and put it on your forehead. Shaq, come here so I stand on your shoulders. Shaq, don't bring me into that. I'm still trying to get out of this fucking smart car. John Cena put me in. A little more.

Speaker: Oh, we've come full circle in that. Well, that's what we call the reach around. Yes. You never got to reach around, Tony? That's our third episode, Tony. Oh, what would I have, yes. I'm glad you clarified that. It wasn't like I was like, hey, dude, you ever got to reach around for my guy? So she's banging you on the reach around? No. Yeah, right? Why? Women love it, Tony. We're friends here. Women love it just for the record.

Speaker: That can't be gay because of the sight of another dude's dick. Ron, I'm going to need you to get out the house more often because your ass is coming up with too much pedophilia, homosexual, transgender, intergender shit. You're the one that took it there. I just asked if you'd ever gotten a reach around here. Look at who I'm talking to. Y 'all been talking about for the past hour. You can't do that. I'm a woman. You're going to clarify I'm a man. You're talking about Tony. I'm Tony D and I'm a man. I only have sex with women's. Women's, women's, women's. I love women's.

Speaker: Oh no, he in line.

Speaker: You may not be a hundred percent sure they were all women No

Speaker: We're talking about stand -up communities the other day. And have you heard Ron White's story when he was in the military? Ron White? Yeah, I saw that. Ron White. Oh, he was in Hawaii. Holy shit. So he goes to Hawaii, was in the military, and he finds out there's an area of Hawaii that you can get a hooker for like five bucks. And he went like three times a week.

Speaker: 20 years later, he's out of the military, and he finds out that there's a certain area of Hawaii that you can get a hooker for $5, but they're not messing about women. Listen, you should have seen his face. You should have seen the worries. Wait a minute.

Speaker: He said he said he must have spent a couple thousand dollars on that place in three years. Wow. And the whole time, he's like. Spoiler alert. Spoiler alert. You can't always go from behind. You better start laying down in the back to get the real answers off the pitch. I was wondering what it was like when I was six in the dark. My only doggy style, but whatever.

Speaker: But I saw that, and he plays it off somebody. He's like, so I guess I'm gay. I guess I've had gay sex. That is just... It's not even that that blows my mind, but several times a week he was going, like... He was going three times a week, he said. Bro, calm down. Sometimes twice a day. There's no calming down. You need to get it real quick. No, dude, you were in the military? That's the better way you were. Yeah. That's all you could do. That's what it is.

Speaker: Everybody's trying to be all romantic and lovey -do. We gotta get this shit over here. Yeah, you gotta remember with a prospect. I understand. I understand that you guys get a lot of vaccinations and a lot of shots and stuff when you go to the military. But there are some things that some vaccinations just don't do anything for. COVID. I was like rejecting.

Speaker: That was just I don't care either way. I'm not gonna argue that I just that was just a little I ain't googling anything that has anything to do with syphilis No

Speaker: You're not doing me a favor because I'm not sticking my dick in anything that has a fucking heartbeat. I have no concerns of STDs. You're not sticking your dick in anything that has a heartbeat? Yeah, in other words, I'm not sticking my dick in everything and anything that breathes. Like two people on this show. Hey, I maintain the rule. Two tits a hole in a heartbeat is all it takes. No, you're not.

Speaker: What? You said it. Did you say two holes in a heartbeat? That's what you said. No, no. In the military, the rule was, well, at least the guys I was with. Yeah, that's exactly what I was saying. Jeff is in the next reveal, actually. He hit the hole in a heartbeat. Oh my god, you took that way out of context.

Speaker: How do you take that out of context? Into a fucking... It's not like I'm actually stuffing my wife and keeping her in the fucking corner. She would come back from the dead to kill me. You said, I hope my wife dies before me so I can have her stuffed in a bent over position so I can still tap that ass whenever I want. Those are your words, Jeffrey, not mine. Hey. There is no wrong context to take that. See my wife? Tell me you wouldn't take that chance. No!

Speaker: My point is, I want it, if I'm having sex with a woman, I want her living and breathing and consensual. I want her reciprocated. Yes. This is true love, that life. Fucking Ash signs off on Jeff. I wish I could find a man that would love you that much. God damn it, Ash. It's more the focus today. Two holes and tits.

Speaker: No, there was a dude I knew in the military that he was literally getting off the boat. All I need is two tenths a hole in a heartbeat. I'm ready to go. He would joke that the heartbeat optional.

Speaker: It's gonna be the next meme on social media. Oh, Coachy, I do want to give you credit for that one, even though that's low down as fuck. I gotta give you credit for that one. Well, Chris, I don't know if you've ever heard the term hogstickin'. Tony, have you heard it? Fuck no. You've never heard the term hogstickin'. I'm not country, no. No, no, no, no. You got something to do with my ex. No.

Speaker: I knew some guys in the Navy that they'd be in port for a long time. And they would play a game where they'd all put $20 into a hat. And whoever went home with the ugliest, nastiest chick got the money. And they called it hog sticking.

Speaker: Now, I never participated in this game. You're a fucking liar. You are a fucking liar. No, I did not. You are an absolute fucking liar. I promised you I did not. I can believe you. I have known you for 25 years. You are a fucking liar. I can believe you. You did at least one time. At least one time. No, he won. He won. No, because... I know he did, too. No, fuck you. I won. I never played because the simple fact that I always went to the higher class joints.

Speaker: First of all, Admiral Thrawn, I don't have to dress up like a woman to win. Number two, if I wanted the money bad enough, I can go find the ugliest woman, turn her on in five minutes, and get all the money. Oh, yeah.

Speaker: I say you do that every time Leggi's in one of your broadcasts. First of all, you're gonna be pretty good. Because Leggi will at least treat me better than what the fuck you just went through previously. Yeah, until she flips the script on your ass and plays the victim, and you end up like smoke. My point is, I think out of three of us,

Speaker: Tony, we each owe Chris 20 bucks because he won that bet all the time ago. Jeff, did you see what the coaches said?

Speaker: No. He was long once or twice. Y 'all want to hate y 'all. You know what's crazy. You know what's crazy. I'm good with her. I know a lot of people got a problem with her, but I'm going to let her tear y 'all asses up herself. She ain't tearing nobody's ass up because she rolls up, starts talking bullshit, gets her feelings fucking hurts and leaves. Gets her fucking feelings hurt. She ain't tearing nobody up in this podcast.

Speaker: He gets her stupid ass feelings hurt and goes plays the victim somewhere else also dumb shit that she started everybody in this motherfucker I'm gonna give it a chance to clear it up, but if not, it's like you say fuck me You know, like I said, like I said, I've met we've met some really cool people doing this my cast I hope y 'all follow us to the rest of y 'all get hit by a bus. God damn

Speaker: If you talk about how I read my kids, when you go to hell head first, with your hands tied behind your back, on the front of a Japanese bullet train, with no brakes going downhill on the volcano, fuck you. Why don't you run up a mountain of head but a goat some goddamn way, you son of a bitch.

Speaker: Tony, I love you. Tony, I love you. But damn, man, you let these stupid asses get to you too much. Don't say that shit about me. We are going to StreamYard, and we'll be on YouTube, Facebook, and Twitch. You must be out your goddamn mind.

Speaker: I appreciate that, Jeez. God damn, I appreciate you, Jeez, because I did the same thing. Yeah, gee, I don't know if you caught what Jeff just said, but we're going to StreamYard, so we'll be on YouTube, Twitch, and Facebook. Oh, nonsensical nonsense. You can't watch us live directly. Yeah, you can watch us live. Stop confusing people. Shut up. No, but it's 115 .6 delay. There's no delay on YouTube. Watch us like you do on hats. Oh, really?

Speaker: You know that you could put StreamYard to more than one platform, too, right? Yeah, YouTube, Twitch, and Facebook. We're going to YouTube, Twitch, and Facebook. Any more, then you got to pay more. Twitter and Twitch will bounce back and forth from them. We're going to bounce back and forth, see whichever does best. But solely because you can't comment on Twitter. Because Twitter Live still has the Periscope format. And since Periscope is dead, you can't comment on there to StreamYard. Really?

Speaker: Yeah. Now on here, the comments that come in on here from Twitter, they're replying to our tweet. Right. Yeah, that's what I said. Fix it. There's more for it. You got to pay more for it. OK, so the people that I know that were getting comments from all the others were paying for it. I got you. Oh yeah, you'll get all your comments from Facebook, Twitter, YouTube. Did you?

Speaker: Yeah, there's no delay. Heck, well, you can't multistream. I know y 'all told me, and I forgot. Did y 'all look at Restream? Did you look at stream mail, stream elements? We did. I did. I actually, I looked at all of them. I broke them all down. The ease of use of StreamYard is worth the fee for what we did. I think it's just acting. And the fact that we can bring up up to 10 people on screen at a time,

Speaker: We're not doing that, ever. No, but let's say if we get Blacked Out Mojo to do an interview, we can send them a message directly to their phones, and they can each have a screen, as opposed to all staring at one screen. Tony, to answer your question, I actually did research on all of them.

Speaker: a while back when we first started the podcast last year. So I did a research and then even now I did the research again and based off reviews, price, features and all that stuff StreamYard is by far the best one out there. Yeah.

Speaker: Yeah, but I'm looking so big cuz we stream got brought to my attention stream elements you lag I brought to my attention. Oh, yeah, I could see how you are multi casting I See that I can catch all that but um, I'm trying like I was so people looking for free

Speaker: video conferencing and multicasting. That's what I'm hearing. I'm hearing that more than anything. So that's why I'm just asking the question based on what y 'all did the other night. I haven't done it entirely yet. Yeah, no, no, no, no. That's what I said. I wanted to let you know. I didn't just jump into a week. I researched and everything like that. That's why Jeff and I went live. Yeah, you can broadcast to one place at a time on the free version.

Speaker: Yeah. And we brought up to up to three people, right? Yeah, because we had Nick on that road. Well, and that was the other thing, Ash, what you said, you know, it was the amount of, you know, people you can bring up the, basically how simple it is to bring people up because like Restream and this and the other thing, it's a pain in the ass. Streamyard, I can literally, yeah.

Speaker: Stream your all I need is your email or your Facebook messenger. I shoot you a link you click on it. You're right in the broadcast You don't need to download anything. You don't need to do anything. You're right into the broadcast And I can make you know, I can make I saw a prism somewhere Well, here's the problem. I have a prison and restream and stuff like that I eventually see them having the same issue that happens

Speaker: is that eventually it's going to die and then you're going to end up on stream yard anyways. So why not? They have the potential to die off just like haps does. But it's just at the end of the day, it's more beneficial for us. We are going to be able to do a lot of things with it. So, um,

Speaker: I think we're going to have fun with it. Like I said, Jeff and I got on there and messed around for about an hour and played around with different features and stuff like that. And it opens up more. And then the fact that I can give you guys co -host or admin roles so you have access to doing stuff as well.

Speaker: the videos for the middle songs. We can actually bring the video as opposed to just listening on its own channel, on its own screen. So, like, and it also makes... You can't wait until she gets back.

Speaker: Uh, it also makes Chris's administration issues a lot easier as well. Uh, you know, posting and downloading. It is going to save Chris hours. Cause I know the other day when we were like, we were live until like five o 'clock in the morning and he, at five 30, he was like, I finally got it out, downloaded. Well, and that's, and that, well, that just has a lot to do with my

Speaker: my apps that I have for downloading audio and stuff they updated and then and even today I mean it took me I got home and it took me about two hours to get Saturday night show Saturday nights show up because I had to download the video and then convert it to audio and then once it was converted to audio I had to convert it down to the mp3 and all this and the other thing to get the size down it was a pain in the ass and it does all that play on stream yard you click one button and you're done

Speaker: It just downloads the audio in MP3 format. So that's what I said. For those of you guys who are liking it out with us, we're not going anywhere. We're still going to be doing our shows Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday. You just got to look us up on YouTube. YouTube and Facebook. We do have a Facebook page, nonsensical nonsense.

Speaker: Um, YouTube's not the same thing. We have a Twitter page. We're on Instagram. There's a YouTube page. There's a TikTok page that I get banned on every time I go live. Wherever fucking where. Wherever fucking where. Every fucking where. Every fucking where. I don't know Tony, you got more fucking apps, social media apps, than the person I could buy. Something I've never heard of. I don't have any, I don't have any, I don't have any social media, I just have the big ones.

Speaker: Yeah, I just have the big ones. I have more games than probably anything. I don't know how many games I have, but let's just say... Jesus Christ. Oh my God, dude, you don't have folders? Yeah, this isn't a game launcher. It's in a whole other thing. Okay, I was going to say, you heathen. Get a folder.

Speaker: Yeah, it goes in, it goes in here. And not only do I have that feature, but then I can go to like, uh, I don't know how to do it all insta -plays. So I got a whole library of games that I don't even have to download. I can just play them. That's not even games. This is apps. I don't even do. I know. I heard you and Brian. That's just apps. You and Brian spent two and a half hours just listening, listening, listing off your, listing off your freaking, uh, social media apps.

Speaker: But if you go to my games, I'm wrong. I'm sorry. I have six. Six games total. Yeah. I used to play Injustice. I used to play War Dragons. I used to play Mortal Kombat on my phone. Yeah. I did Cityville. But my home screen, my home screen, all this, this is all, well, not that, but that's some kind of freak. But all this, not that.

Speaker: All this stuff is all sports or app -related shit. That's crazy. That's all. There are so many apps. Well, see, I have what I call podcasting apps folder. That's all stuff to add. I don't use folders. Yeah, you're a freak. I have to have folders. I have to have some folders. I like simple. I like simple. Dumb it down.

Speaker: That's what I'm doing. Well, this is like shopping apps. So like Amazon, shit like that. Yeah. Just dumb it down. My favorite app of all time is called Stay High. Stay High is the greatest app ever. It's a translator app. You can translate any conversation into any language. Oh yeah, I have one of those. I have a Google translator app or something like that. I used it when I worked out working.

Speaker: Say Hi is actually by Amazon. Yeah, I used it when I worked at, mine was free and I used it when I worked at Oregon. It was fantastic. Because I had customers from all over the world. I mean, Asian, Middle Eastern. I had a guy today, I actually used it while having a conversation with a guy in German. He owns a business.

Speaker: My cousins loved it because we could actually talk to each other and we could figure out what was going on. I wasn't just going in there blindly and neither one of us looking at each other like fucking complete idiots. So I was like, you know what? I know what I'm gonna do. And they really appreciated it too.

Speaker: When I told tours, I had to have data on my phone or internet so I could actually have conversations with people from Spain, people from Germany. I've had conversations with Japanese and Mandarin and all that fun stuff. It's a great little app. Absolutely. 100 % agreed.

Speaker: On my main page, I have four apps just for work. Yeah, I got a couple apps for work on my phone, but I'm going to be deleting those. Actually, probably tomorrow. Six. I have six. I have six for work. And I only use them if my computer, like if my internet goes down, I can switch to data and use my phone for an hour or so.

Speaker: And that is the greatness of this podcast Just so you guys know this is the genius of the three of us

Speaker: We got different ideas we can bring together and that'll make us dangerous. On top of that, uh, something I was, my, my boss was saying in the meeting today, she's like, I don't know what it is, but Jeff, and I'm assuming the other two guys on the podcast carry on four or five conversations at once and not miss a beat. Jesus Christ, this is going to be 90 degrees this week. Just the ugly one. Yes, sir.

Speaker: That's a mirror you're looking at. No, I'm looking at you. You're right down there. I'm still saying that's a mirror. Because I'm fucking gorgeous.

Speaker: You're like if Charlie Day and Nick Cage had a retarded child. I swear to God, one more person calls me Charlie Day. I don't know what it is about this guy. You're like the afterburner of Charlie Day and Nick Cage's child. I look nothing like fucking Charlie Day, but everybody calls and says I look like Charlie Day. Calm down. Well, and that's funny, but I would shoot your ass. If your dad doesn't have a beard, you got two months.

Speaker: I'm going to use that. I'm stealing that. No, because one of the one of the one of the guys that I work with, he's like, he's like, I think I need to shave. I'm kind of getting a beard. And I was like, dude, the beard club rules. Yeah, Jodi actually heard one of the girls he works with pointed that out that he looks like Charlie Day. I've never heard that shit.

Speaker: That's funny. It's fuck. That is funny. That's a YouTube story. Check it out. YouTube song. The Beards. If your dad doesn't have a beard, you have two moms. That is so fucked up. Girls do love Charlie Day. Him and Jeff are basically the same. I don't know. We got green screen. It's a comedy band, The Beards.

Speaker: We're trying to convince Tony to grow a fucking beard. I've had one already and I took it off. No, you have not. We've seen the picture of it. What you call a beard made Brian's beard look like mine. My ratty, my ratty ass tangled up beard looking like shit, poured in some drunk

Speaker: old -ass man in Boston. He wasn't a skunk bear like a skunk strap to your face? Oh, I don't know. No, it wasn't. They said I had stunk, uh, my skunk stripes. That's funny. Yeah. My racing stripes. I thought it said you had, it looked like you had skunk, a skunk humping your face or something like that. Those are my,

Speaker: There he is. What's going on smoke? Those are those are my racing makes me more aerodynamic when I'm doing stuff That explains why you're so fast, right? That's nothing to do with beer fast and I'm not fast. Oh

Speaker: You walked into that one, I'm sorry. Somebody can vouch for that. Ask this fuck, boy. Ask this fuck. Yeah, that's gonna be you. That's gonna be you in a couple weeks, Jeffrey. You ain't just whistling Dixie on that one. Hey, the day before your wife comes home, you better unload the chamber about 60 times, man.

Speaker: You gotta do your cash out process giving me after this Smoke I was telling I was telling my girl that y 'all were fucking killing me last night on the show I Finally caught it. I finally caught a sense smoke left taps. I finally caught his live last night right fucking killing me I was dying I

Speaker: Go to YouTube, and we follow him on YouTube, Jeff. Go to our YouTube page and check out his show from last night. I'll check that out. I still haven't heard back from the goofy sons of bitches, Tony. You should have got an email saying it was sponsored from the Habs team. Well, yeah, I got the response that they got. You got that message coming. It'll come. Yeah. It was the weekend. No, I did that last Monday. When you brought it up to me and told me to, you're like, send him an email with your dumb ass.

Speaker: Really? You still haven't heard anything? Yeah. I just got that response that they got my email. That was all I got. OK. So I don't know what the hell is going on. I'll give you the same information. I mean, I ain't that worried about it. But I mean, there are six months now. I heard there's an extension, and every penny counts. I don't care what nobody says. No, no, no. Yeah. Like, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not worried about, like, buying $2 .50. Oh, wow. I mean, a little bit more than that, but. No, that's what I have. Yeah.

Speaker: I'm not, I'm not like super freaked out about it. Yeah. It would be nice to have, but, um, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna lose my shit over it. Yeah. Cookie, check your earnings, reach around that. If you own your phone, Tony will be there. What is the reach me app is basically just going to be haves. I think, I think at the end of the day,

Speaker: I think at the end of the day they're just rebranding perhaps. That's enough for me. Okay, so somebody bought it and wants to change the name. Well, yeah, I mean maybe somebody bought it. That or like I said, they're just rebranding it. Same idiots who created this one and screwed this one up are just rebranding it and trying it again. Yeah. And then when they fuck that one up, they'll just keep renaming it. But at the end of the day, it's not so much the creators that

Speaker: killed the app as much as it was some of the people that are on the app. Well, I mean, I agree. But at the end of the day, if you let a small group of people ruin your company, then you're a fucking. But when those small group of people live in your fucking emails because they're tattling on everybody. So ban them.

Speaker: That's what Twitter did. If you ask me, they need to do it with their Discord and keep doing their Q &As every day like they were doing before. They solve a lot more issues, but I do believe they got tired of all the complaints from the Q &As. That almost makes sense. I used to watch them first. In the beginning, when I first got on here, and it was before we started the podcast, because I've been on here, I really don't care, Tim. She's not one of my favorite people. I give two shits less. Who's Tim?

Speaker: Tim Conrad. The comment got hit by the moderator thing. Yeah, Simon does Q &A's every day. Biggest assignment over there. But that's just like a you can broadcast to people. You can't bring people up. In the beginning, I actually had Pablo and them. They were in several of my lives. Like they came alive with me and hung out and everything like that.

Speaker: And a lot of questions got asked and stuff like that, but... I also think I might have hurt his feelings one day when I called him an idiot, but... Bible or whatever. Yeah, I know he's working on the Android. They keep telling him he needs to get it working for Android. What, apps? No, heckle. There's a bunch of hats folks over there though.

Speaker: It's an agenda, G.

Speaker: Yeah, at the end of the day, I liked it. Well, and that was Chris and I's thought when we were talking about going to StreamYard, it's more of a business move for us anyways. I mean, we're upgrading the podcast and our ability to do the podcast by switching over to StreamYard. Oh yeah, absolutely. Well, in StreamYard, it's more built for podcasters anyways.

Speaker: Well, I mean, it's not really a problem I have with HAPS, but Chris and I joined together on HAPS to do the podcast. That's our main reason for being on HAPS. Well, I was on here. I was on here already. No, I know you were on here, but I joined because of the podcast. And it was good for what it was, but HAPS not necessarily being built for that.

Speaker: That wasn't built for a lot of what we do. This is true. Right. I actually, yeah, I actually came to HAPS when Periscope went down because at the time I had, surprise, surprise, I got in trouble on my main account on TikTok and I got hit with a permanent ban. So I couldn't go live on there and I only had the one account at the time. I'm never using, you talk pretty good about it though.

Speaker: I love anchor. That's actually what we use anchor anchors what we post on and then it puts it out to all our Podcasting apps Like we're on some podcasting apps. I don't even know the name of

Speaker: Cause when I looked us up, I got ones that I was like, really? And I listened to it. I was like, holy shit, that is us. Yeah. So, yeah, it's. Yeah, no, I love Anchor. Anchor's great for that. Cause we were going to record on Anchor the podcast, but the problem was we couldn't see each other. Hey Chris. So we spent the entire time talking over each other. God dang. 103 rings with a 4 .9, but it's four plus. Wait, what? You could be four years old on there. What? I'm looking at Anchor now.

Speaker: Oh, they got great. You could be four years old and older. Yeah. Yeah. And the only thing we use, we use anchor for is that's where I, that's where I post the, that's where I post the podcast. Um,

Speaker: And it does all the work. It distributes everything. Spotify, Apple Podcast, all that shit. It keeps our analytics and all that shit. It shows I can look at all of our numbers and everything like that. They also do help. Once you reach a certain point, they'll hook you up with sponsorships and stuff like that. Mainly through Spotify. Well, Spotify owns it. Gotcha.

Speaker: We can actually, the new update came up and we were on the beta and I just never tried it, but the new update came out where we can upload the videos of the podcast onto, because Spotify has video broadcasting now. Right, well they added that when Joe Rogan asked, when Joe Rogan signed his contract, he said, dude, we gotta have video.

Speaker: Because I'm not going to be posted on YouTube no more. So they were like, OK. And they set it up. And I knew there was ability. I just didn't know how. Oh, yeah, we have it. I can do it. I can do it right now. We were on the beta, and I just never really played with it. We'll do that from the stream yard. And we can. Well, any video, yeah, we can. I can do it now. I can do it right now. But any video, we can start putting that on. It will be easier to do it when you're on stream.

Speaker: Not to give you more work, but you know. Get on that, could you? In your free time. I created the Patreon account. We just need content to put on there. That's right. I can barely get you guys to share the podcast when I post it on social media. Well, I'll tell you what, that session we had, that session we had talking tools, that session we had talking tools on. I'll share both. I'll share both public.

Speaker: You know, I get notifications when people share the podcast again. Lion ass. Okay. Of course they might've got lost today because there was a lot of conversation going on in the man cave, uh, Facebook group because, uh, my guy Eric was, was showing love to everybody and I kept popping in there and adding my two cents. A lot of companies in there. They could use, uh, advertisement. Oh, wrestling is going to be good tonight. Mm -hmm.

Speaker: Oh, wrestling's going to be good tonight. Why is that? I know Roman Reigns don't want to fight Drew McIntyre no damn. Man. Yeah, that's the headlining match right there. Hmm. But no, with that being said, wrestling being said,

Speaker: We have reached the end of our show tonight. Probably good. What's that? He was asking who would win between the wrestling match and all three of us and said you probably win. Oh yeah. I mean I'll bite and I'll gouge your eyes. I'll kick him in the dick. I'll use Jeff. I'll fucking Cobra guy your ass and sweep the leg. I will grab Jeff by his ankles and beat Tony down with Jeff. Oh boy.

Speaker: I will use Jeff as a foreign object. Tony and I are going to rock it and droop. I'm going to stand on Tony's shoulders with a fucker. You're going to have to. Something. Calm down, Voltron. You're going to have to. Hey. I'll go full thought on your ass. Fucking Zeppelin. As soon as you hear Zeppelin, you know your ass is in trouble. Fuck with me.

Speaker: I'm not doing this. I'm not doing this. It's just happening by itself. Wait one minute. Let me put my phone down. Make sure my speaker doesn't fall in this water. I love Ragnarok. That is probably one of my favorite Thor movies. That is fucking genius. I'll make the dark one. I'm looking forward to Love and Thunder though. I am too. Holy shit looks good. But anyways before we go off on a whole other tangent.

Speaker: We are going to wrap this up. We do appreciate you guys listening to us, hanging out in the chatter's box. The chatter's box has been on fire tonight. This is not our typical Mondays. We got a lot of new listeners tonight. I've seen you guys hanging out on Facebook and stuff like that. Greatly appreciate you guys. Like I said, if you're not already, go ahead and check us out on all social media. Oh, excuse me. On the 15th. Yes.

Speaker: No, the fifth. Uh, if you're not already, check us out on all social media at nonsensical nonsense on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tik TOK. You can get every episode of the podcast on Spotify or anywhere you listen to podcasts because believe it or not, we're probably there. So if you guys be so kind, give us a follow, give us a like, and we don't ask for much here, but the one favor we will, we will ask from you guys is to go ahead and give us a share, share us out to your friends. Let them know. Give us a little double phone.

Speaker: We do have a merch store if you're interested in any of that. Jazz at teespring .com slash nonsensical nonsense podcast. And you can reach us anytime with an email. Like I said, we do want to get into a listener shout out section or a listener story section or just a listener's roast series, whatever. If you guys just want to email us and roast us, we're going to start, we're going to start reading listener emails at some point. I think that'll be fun. So you can go ahead and email us at nonsensical nonsense podcast at gmail .com.

Speaker: No, yeah, I mean something like that. Just listen to our emails, whatever they send us, we're gonna read them. Like I said, this is the last night on HAPS, RRP HAPS for us. We will be live Wednesday night on StreamYard, so make sure you're following us on YouTube and Twitch and Facebook. Call it Nonsenseical Nonsense so you guys can come hang out with us. Same show, same shit, different channel. That's right. First time ever saying that.

Speaker: Right? But again, we do appreciate you guys. Thank you, guys. Thank you, Jeff. Thank you, Tony. I appreciate you guys. Another awesome show. What a way to end our haps. Rain. Our haps. Rain. Our haps. Rain of terror. Domination of haps. We are, by far, the single -handedly, the greatest streamers on this app that nobody knows about. Yes, that's true. And we are the funniest podcast you've never heard of. Exactly.

Speaker: But with that being said, we're gonna end the show with our guys in Blacktop Mojo. If you don't know who Blacktop Mojo is, do yourself a favor. Check him out wherever you stream music and on all social media, at BlacktopMojo. If you were here for the beginning of the show, huge shout out to my brother from another mother, Rock Lee of EDM Combat, that little intro at the beginning, that's all him, he made that, he created that for us. And we will see you guys Wednesday night, live on YouTube, Twitch,

Speaker: Facebook yeah from StreamYard with all kinds of new toys and gadgets to play with Just the stuff we can

Speaker: Not even the content we can create there, but the tomfoolery we can get up to. Oh, exactly. Well, I've been ready for it. But like I said, with that being said, we are out of here. We will see you guys Wednesday night for a brand new episode. Enjoy a little blacktop mojo with coming to get your fucking toad, ya whore! Yeah! Goodbye! We are out of here. Fuck you, Abs! Burn in hell!

Speaker: There'll be more than two You'll create more than two You'll create more than two You'll create more than two You'll create more than two You'll create more than two You'll create more than two You'll create more than two

Speaker: Don't you look at last night when it's no good again I won't tell anybody who can arrive Tell me to keep it down or let your screams roll out

Speaker: I'm trying to keep it going. I'm trying to keep it going. I'm trying to keep it going. I'm trying to keep it going. I'm trying to keep it going. I'm trying to keep it going. I'm trying to keep it going.

Speaker: Let it, let it drown down. Open it, find it down. Call it your culture, left it last night, and it's no good.

Speaker: I won't ever let anybody know I came around Don't need to keep it down, don't have to scream so loud Try and keep it down Try and keep it down Try and keep it down

Speaker: I don't know what it's like in town The risk you make to the black cloud The new gray I have to leave Don't forget to leave

Speaker: Don't get your cold, you left it last night when you snuck away

Speaker: Tellin' everybody you can fly, fly, fly You better keep it down, Lord, just be so loud Sorry, take that down

Speaker: Hell yeah, thank you guys for listening. Thank you guys for hanging out. Thank you guys for being awesome. We all clown on Haps, but Haps has been our home for the last year, and we look forward to hopefully seeing you guys over on YouTube, Twitch, and Facebook. Make sure you give us a follow over there at Nonsense with Nonsense. Gentlemen, for the last time here on Haps, let them know what's up. Jeffrey. Deuces!

Speaker: Tony, what do you got to tell the people? I'm going to be honest with you. I've had a damn ball up here. They got their problems. I had my, you have my support. You have my gratitude. I'm grateful to the people that I met up here. I'm grateful to the people that supported me, looked down for me, backed me up, helped me, was willing to go there with me and for me. I want to thank you. But for those of you who got a problem with me, let me make one motherfucking thing clear up in this bitch.

Speaker: Mother had you, mother made you, mother fuck you. We out. God damn right. Join us Wednesday night for a brand new episode. Same nonsensical time. Different nonsensical channel. On StreamYard, live on YouTube, Twitch, and Facebook at nonsensical nonsense. And with that being said, for the last time on Haps, let me go ahead and give you this. Put the camera on. Yes, get the cameras out.

Speaker: Where's my camera at? Where's my camera at? Goodbye, motherfuckers. Bye. And with that being said, Tony, what do I got to do right now? What am I doing? Hit the fucking button. Hit the button! Hit the fucking button! We'll see you all on the flip side. I hit the button. It's loading. It's thinking about it.