Transcript
Speaker: So we're taking a moment of silence. Remembrance, the 13 soldiers that we lost in the attacks in Kabul, not only were they soldiers, but they were sons, they were daughters, they were brothers and sisters, husbands and wives, fathers, mothers. So please join us as we take a moment to remember those.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Hello, welcome.
Speaker: Oh.
Speaker: ? ? ?
Speaker: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Speaker: All righty. Tell them where we're at. Welcome to nonsensical nonsense guys. Hopefully you don't mind us starting to show off on a little bit of a serious note, but obviously we all know the tragedy and everything that happened over in Cabal the other day.
Speaker: I'm not a very political person. I don't want to spend a whole lot of time on it. I just wanted to take a moment and honor those honor those soldiers and pay our own little tribute to them. Yes, I know. Jeff, you you can go for days with your whole day for days about the fuck up ball. But yes, to end the series, let's get back to the dick and fart jokes.
Speaker: But anyways, it is Saturday night. Welcome everybody to another episode of Nonsense Go Nonsense with you as always. Myself, Glick, and hanging out with Jeff. If you're not already, feel free to check us out on social media, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, and as of today, effective immediately
Speaker: as of this recording, we are live on Twitch as well. Not Jeff's page, but the nonsensical nonsense page. Also, you can check out every episode of the podcast on Spotify, Google, Apple Play, or anywhere you get your podcast listening jollies from. You know, go give us a like and a thumb and.
Speaker: Last week you got your thumbans this week. We got your jollies. We're covering all bases here. I'm not since thank you Cameron. Thank you summer
Speaker: Uh, I am Cameron's here and summer's here. Chuck town laid down. No, I did not forget about you. Summer, summer and Cameron, summer and Cameron both said very nice on the tribute. Cameron said nice job and, uh, props, including the coast guard, Cameron. I specifically looked for the bagpipes in 20 21 guns salute video that had, uh, the coast guard in there. So that was a hundred percent not to toot my own horn or.
Speaker: Pat my own back, but I 100 % did do that intentionally. No, that's good. So Cameron's dad's retired Coast Guard. Oh, okay. There you go. So now, like I said, it's very rare that we do start on a serious note, but you know, tonight it was needed.
Speaker: But as Jeff said, we will be rolling right into the dick and fart and rape jokes. Yes, of course. And having sex with your dead wife. We're just weird. Speaking of your wife, no, she's not dead. But I do have a little bit of an itch to scratch here. I was going to bring it up when we were talking before the show.
Speaker: But I figured, why do that when I can do it on the show and it can be that much more enjoyable? Because this morning you messaged me, no big deal. Hey, we need to start a little bit later. We got a sick family member, yada, yada, yada. I'm like, okay, cool. We'll do a nine o 'clock. It's Saturday night, no big deal. And then you messaged me later and you're like,
Speaker: I'm not going over there. That old bang's like 300 years old. I don't even know why she's not dead yet. I'm like, okay, fair enough. We're not related to this woman by any means except for my mother -in -law married my wife's stepfather, who is 60 of his a day. Closer to seven, I'm sure. It's his mother. No, I've never met the woman.
Speaker: Why the hell would I be going a two to three hour drive one way? And I'm like, you know what? You know what? I'm sure the kids don't want to go. Why don't you drop them off here? And as soon as I said that was a bad idea, but as I said, drop them off here and you guys go. So this morning they're dropping kids off and I'm like, uh,
Speaker: Shit. That actually worked. I don't have to go. Yeah. Right. But that's, that's not, that's not, that's not what I have the bone to pick with you about because I know I know what you're not going through. As I made the accommodations on my end, not really made accommodations because it's Saturday and I didn't do shit. I spent, yeah, I spent most of my day sitting on the bed actually working on this podcast because I worked on the podcast sort of last Saturday's
Speaker: Hurricane episode was probably one of the hardest Episodes that I've ever had to edit because don't doubt it because Every time my my I got kicked out your audio went to shit. Yes. I wound up actually cutting out like 20 minutes Yeah, I wound up cutting out like 20 minutes of that
Speaker: uh yeah your fart should still be in there yeah your fart's still in there because it was earlier in the show when jeff was still there i'm gonna bring that up too so um but uh yes i did that and then i had to do an outro and you know how hard it is it well i say this as you and i just talk randomly incoherently for hours as it is without any problems but when you're trying to do something
Speaker: Specifically, yes. No, specifically. Yeah, it was so I had to still working on the one YouTube video. Yeah. So it took me about 20 tries to get the outro where I was happy with it. But anyways, so that's neither here. That's what I'm talking about. Like I said, I was working on the podcast today, working on other stuff with the podcast and just all around just being lazy. But
Speaker: a half hour before we're scheduled to go live at nine o 'clock, you message me and go, hey man, if we could go live like ASAP, that would be extremely beneficial because my wife and her friends are at the bar. And I got to go pick them up at 10 o 'clock.
Speaker: to my response was fuck that they can get a cab and bring the asses home because then they'd have to get another cab to go pick up the car now that sounds like a them problem not a you problem maybe they should have planned out their night before they went out and decided that everybody was going to get drunk plus you live in mexico so it's not even illegal to drive drunk it's perfectly fine they actually on the weekends they have uh checkpoints
Speaker: Well, they are all definitely getting. They are all definitely getting dicked down and none of them by Jeff. That is 100 % accurate. Well, again, whoever drove, it sounds like a her problem that she's going to have to then get a taxi tomorrow to go get her car. Instead of driving, why don't you guys just take a fucking cab, leave the car here?
Speaker: And then the their response was yeah, but you know then we have the car here. I'm like, yeah and Seriously, they got on the boat and then they called me and there I was like see if you would have left the car here You could have just gotten a fucking cab come home Well, I still get a cab and her friend can go get her car tomorrow because that sounds a whole lot of like of their problem and not a you problem
Speaker: But i'm also coming i'm also i'm also coming to the understanding that your wife apparently can't wipe her own ass so You uh, you are a good little bitch, so I do a shit ton, but I get a lot Okay, oh I get a lot in return, okay
Speaker: Well, uh, inquiring minds want to know because there might be children listening because we're, uh, well, I don't have to do podcast. Yeah. I was going to say, cause apparently we're, we have a G rated in G rating. I better stop putting explicit.
Speaker: Well, I don't have to do a quarter of the things that you do. And that's not a problem for me. Yeah, I mean, outside of the fact that there's 500 miles between us. Well, let's see you get laid tonight, Chris. See you in what? What's a seven hour drive? Well, I mean, somebody by noon. No, I could get down there a little bit earlier than that.
Speaker: Well, I'm probably not allowed around her right now. Well, I actually did do work on the podcast today. I built my awesome boom mic that actually fucking works. I'm actually kind of impressed with myself. You did work to benefit and help you on the podcast. You didn't do work for the podcast.
Speaker: No, that's not true. Last night, while I was watching... Summer has COVID too, so I can't go down there and get laid. Even if she was here, I couldn't get laid. Yeah, see? Well, I can't because... But I also would not have to go pick up her and all her drunk ass friends from the bar because they were dumbasses and thought they were going to drive themselves rather than taking a cab or an Uber to the bar.
Speaker: Well I think it all came down to the DD decided at the last second, maybe I will drink. Well then you know what then it sounds like a DD problem, she can sleep in her fucking car. And the other girls could take a cab. But we went to the pool today and holy shit dude. I'm paying for it now. I'm sunburnt like you read about.
Speaker: Because my wife got the brilliant idea. My wife is off this week. And she was off last week. How many weeks is she off? She's off this week. It's Wednesday to Wednesday. It's her week. Ah, I gotcha. Yeah, her week starts on Wednesday. Yeah, that's when they officially switch hotels. So we're sitting there and she says, hey, I got an idea. Let's go get stuff for breakfast. We'll go get, we'll make quesadillas for breakfast and we'll go get ham.
Speaker: the Oaxaca cheese, we'll go get new tortillas, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I said, all right, now let's just go put my shoes on. And she's like, Oh no, we're going to take the bikes. I was like, Oh no, we're not. So after arguing for about 35, 45 minutes, we hop on to 20 inch bikes. I'm 40 years old and a heavy smoker. My wife is what? 32. And
Speaker: Doesn't do exercise because she works all day. She doesn't have time and when she gets home, it's play time so We get on these bikes and we we ride for Maybe six blocks Is the distance and it's flat ground. I'm fine on the way there and We pick up what we need
Speaker: And the biggest problem is I'm on her brother's bike. Now, her brother's bike, the pedal arm that the pedal is attached to is bent. Why did you just take your son's bike? Doesn't he have a tiny much bike too? My wife was on his bike. Oh. Because it's the newer bike, blah, blah, blah. She's not the best rider in the world in the first place.
Speaker: So, well, I said, probably still learning being the fact that she's only like, what nine? Yeah. Well, I think it's, uh, we, her and I discussed this. I, when I was my son's age, if it was daylight out, I was outside on my bike constantly when I was his age. Yeah. And plays video games. And I'm like, dude, you got a bike. I'd be out there. I mean, that's why I can still ride like a wind.
Speaker: So we get to our destination and I'm on this shitty bike and I said, you know what? I want to go to the little hardware. It's like a mom and pop hardware store. I said, I want to go over there. It's two blocks away. And she's like, uh, I said, look, you wait here with all this shit we just bought because we bought stuff to make pina coladas today. We bought, uh, stuff to make breakfast. We bought stuff.
Speaker: fruits and veg and all that shit at the little mom and pop shops over there. So I'm like, all right, no big deal. And I'm to myself, I'm thinking, Oh, it's only a block away. No big deal. So I grabbed I said, Look, you take you sit here on this, this retaining wall in the shade, I'll take the good bike, and I'll run over there, get the four bolts and wingnuts that I need to build my boom.
Speaker: I get the first block and I'm like, oh shit, I fucked up. It's three more blocks. The three more blocks and then one block over and then back. And I got, we got, when we got back to the house, I laid on the floor for 10 minutes.
Speaker: Well, as we've, as we've discussed and discovered several, several times throughout this podcast that you and math and numbers and, and adding and subtracting just, just, well, just don't work out because you also said a few weeks ago, if I were to walk it, I can literally walk it. It would of course take me longer, but I could have walked it and come back to the house and got right about my day. Like nothing ever happened.
Speaker: But for some reason, she had a bug up her ass about let's take the bikes. We have bikes. Let's use them. And I'm like, this is dumb idea. I'm telling you now it's a dumb idea. And it is maybe 10 o 'clock in the morning. And it is 10 billion degrees outside because it's Mexico. There's no rain. It's all sun. And there's very little shade at that time of day going the way we're going.
Speaker: And like I said, I got back on the floor while my kids brought me water. Well, that's, that's, that's just a sign of a, you're getting older, old as fuck and be, you smoke more than a fucking locomotive. So there's that.
Speaker: I mean, it was not, it was not, those, those are multiple factors that you have going against you. See, I said, listen, the next time you get a bright idea like this, I'm going to remind you about this one right now. I was seriously just like no saliva in my mouth, just dry like the Sahara desert.
Speaker: and why don't you uh why don't you take water bottles or buy water when you were at the store i mean you were right there at the store i know you can't drink the water down there but no well i mean it's one of those things it's like i had so much stuff in the book bag i took with me that it was ridiculous in the first place but on top of that there's no place you can't ride and hold a water bottle at the same time and i'm not stopping every five fucking minutes
Speaker: I am when I go somewhere I go get what I get we'll get what I need and get the fuck back Yeah, because you know, I'm like just like if I if I'm going to go by
Speaker: a drill bit from Home Depot. I go, I pick up my fucking drill bit. I go to the cashier, I get the fuck out. Why? Because I know I can't afford everything else in the store that I'll spend three hours looking at. So I don't look well. The other thing is, is that generally with men,
Speaker: When we go shopping and we go to the store, we, we go for a purpose. So we're not going to go in there and spend four hours because when I go to the store, I'm in and out. I'm very direct. I don't, I don't like to spend a whole lot of time in the damn store. My wife is not a window shopper, but like she won't go, oh, let's go look at this. But when she does buy something.
Speaker: she's gonna try it on she's gonna check different colors and i'm like just buy all six and let's get the fuck out of here yeah well i mean and that's that's the other thing i mean like three hundred dollars a piece put in the fucking cart let's get the fuck out of here yeah because
Speaker: Yeah. Well, and when I go shop for clothes, I don't, but I know what size I wear. I know what I want. I know what I like. So I don't have to try on shit, but I will say, you know, as guys, we don't buy skin type jeans. Yeah. I was going to say in the end of defensive women though. I mean, depending upon the shirt, the style, the way it's cut, the way it, you know, the way it's flows, this side and the other thing, they got to make sure it fits right. And everything. Well, yeah. I mean,
Speaker: And my wife has got a big old booty. So, you know, where one size would technically fit, it won't get over her ass. She's got a smaller waist, but she's got a big ass. You know, don't be wrong. I love that ass, but it's like that ass has caused me to stand in this fucking store holding a purse for three hours. This is not cool. You're too manly. You're too much of a man to hold a purse. It's not even that. I don't care about guy. We went the other day.
Speaker: But her, your purse or her purse? Hers, obviously. I don't, I don't, I barely carry a wallet. I've had the same wallet for like six years, which it's, it's about time to get a new one. Cause I can like, if I put, if I put change in my wallet, it'll fall out. So why do you put change in the wallet?
Speaker: It's it's it's a habit. It's like someone has me a bunch of stuff. I just opened my wallet thrown in. I don't care. My change goes in my pocket. But I don't know. Yeah, I'm the same way. Well, it's my last wallet I had for actually my last wallet that I had, I think I had since high school. And I just got a new one about a year or so back. And that was that was a birthday gift.
Speaker: Before I got this wallet, I just literally shoved everything in my pocket because that's another thing I don't like shopping for. If I see one, okay, there it is. I'll take it. I don't care. That's not something that you stop for. Well, no, because I found, I was in, I was in a, they have a store down here called Casa Verde and Casa Verde is basically like a Spencer's gifts. I mean, they got, they got the model cars. They got, uh,
Speaker: funny t -shirts and you know all this stupid shit but they had this really cool Deadpool wallet and I was like I want it but now I don't know about you but I am not a bifold wallet guy I'm a trifold you know three ways to open you know it's got three flaps so to speak I can I bifold just freaks me out I'm afraid I'm gonna lose something somehow so I didn't buy it because it was a bifold
Speaker: I don't care. I'm buying full of Trifold. It don't matter to me. With a little snap. And I was like, I got to just catch on my pockets. I'm real quick. I don't care. Because it's not something that I've ever shopped for. I think I've shopped for a wallet one time in my life. And that was right after I got my driver's license and my old man was like, you need to have a wallet to put all your stuff in. And I was like, oh, OK. That's the thing that I think when at least most American kids anyways,
Speaker: Guys in general, we don't need a wallet until we get a driver's license. Before that, what's the point? I got pockets. But the wallet I have now, like I said, it was a birthday gift a couple of years ago, so. Yeah, my wife actually got mine for my birthday. Like I said, Summer says she shops online, which she does do a lot of online shopping. Yeah, but once again, for me, you know,
Speaker: T -shirt jeans kind of guy. And, you know, I know, I know what my jeans look, you know, but what's that sheen or shine or whatever it is. I think summer shops on there. I think she's gotten the girls. She's gotten stuff there and it doesn't fit over her ass. If it's a waste fine, but she can't put it over her ass. My wife got a big old boot.
Speaker: You want to throw that out there about 10 more times? I mean, you've only said it six times. It sounds like you're kissing up because you know, you're going to get in trouble later on. No, I'm not worried about that because she doesn't listen to the podcast because if she did, I know if she was listening to the podcast.
Speaker: Yeah. Well, this is a simple fact for all the shit I do say. She'd give me shit for it. So, yeah, she knows. What the fuck are you talking about this and this and this? I'm like, so you did listen. Cool. Your kids must be younger than, than, than me, Holland, because I don't, when I first said my first bank account, I don't recall having a debit card. You just had your checks and I had checking. I had a check. I had checks and I, I didn't get a debit card until I was.
Speaker: like 19, and then I never had any money in it. The problem with, I've never had a credit card though. I've never had a credit card. If I did have a credit card, I would have the coolest car in the fucking planet, but I'd still be broke today.
Speaker: Yeah. Well, I never, I didn't, I didn't have a, I didn't even have an actual checking account until a company started merging over to where all they did was direct deposit. So I don't know how, that was what, maybe 10 years, 12, 10, 12 years ago, something like that. But companies were still doing paper checks. I just went and cashed my check. I went to the bank that was in town. That was a local bank that. Yeah. Yeah. There was a local bank in town.
Speaker: that my family used for years. I got my first checking account when I was 14, because that's when I started working at Gilbert plumbing. And, uh, you know, granted it was family owned, you know, my family, well, my relatives and my grandfather started it and, uh, I started working at 14 and I worked there for the, the, my first summer.
Speaker: And I literally, every time I get a check, I'd take it, I'd keep $10 and put the rest in at the end of the summer. I bought a really nice bike because I was 14. And then the next year I worked for the summer and I worked a couple of weekends and whatever, and I started saving up for a car right then and there.
Speaker: and I literally would take out 10, 15 bucks out of my check and everything else stayed in there until I bought my first car, which I ended up paying it. I bought my first car for a dollar. Summer said, uh, Sheena's in China. So a large is like an extra small. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: And which I've got I've gotten in trouble a couple times buying shit online from I don't really like buying stuff online unless I go through like eBay or Amazon or fanatics like a known site that I know But I've bought some stuff online I've never bought clothes on but I'll buy like, you know If I if I ever get actually take the time to actually buy a boom I'll buy it because I found one for I think was like 12 bucks. I
Speaker: Yeah. Well, like last year, I bought this bad -ass, uh, brown city and I even got it like a three X or a four X. I think it was because I knew it was coming from my daughters.
Speaker: The girls have it. Well, they had it. I don't know what the hell happened to it, but they, I gave it to them. They had it. I bought a pair of fucking, uh, what I thought were Cleveland brown sweat pants that came in and looked like fucking yeah, they're not as tight as leggings, but you know, I wear them around my house. I won't wear them out in public. I'm that guy the other day, I was doing laundry and I was sitting here in a house and, uh, somebody had
Speaker: given the kids uh hand -me -downs but they've given them they one of the bags one of a small like grocery style bag got mixed up and there was stuff for like a 16 year old girl in there and it was just like a couple t -shirts and a pair of leggings and I was I was doing laundry
Speaker: And all my stuff was in the laundry and I was like fuck what am I gonna I just got out of the shower and I was like I'm gonna throw these fucking leggings on throw those leggings on and they're they're fucking ed hardy style so they got the bejeweled leg my wife's like what are you doing I said looking sexy yeah I'll wear my Cleveland Browns pants yeah I'll wear my Cleveland Browns pants
Speaker: Uh, you know, I just won't wear them out of the house because it's not like I was going to the store. I was literally, they fit perfect. Like that's the thing. They fit perfect. But I, they said that they were sweatpants and I was like, Oh, you know, cool. I like wearing sweatpants in the wintertime. That's all I really wear when I get home in the summertime. I wear basketball shorts and in the winter I wear sweatpants. And then they came in and they're like, uh, we're kind of like that dry wicking material.
Speaker: And they're not, like I said, they're not as tight as leggings, but they're not as loose as they're like right in between sweatpants and leggings.
Speaker: Uh, Holland said American size medium is a Asian size three X, which was pretty much what summer said to the largest, like extra small, but, uh, yeah, well that's been, that's been shopping, shopping talk with Jeff and Glick. Now that this is crazy, I wanted to ask you a question. I wanted to ask you a question. So the other night I had this happen to me. Have you ever, have you ever had a dream?
Speaker: and woken up from it. And like, it feels so real, almost to the point where you're still in your dream. Yes, but as soon as I wake up, I know I'm not dreaming because I'm like, I'm not in a fucking mansion. What you're talking about, like, it feels so real that you wake up and you're like,
Speaker: Wait, I don't have a Ferrari in the driveway. Well, as we've talked about this in the past, I have a lot of nightmares. I have for years. I have night terrors and stuff like that.
Speaker: So the other night I was having, and they kind of. From the men that watch nothing but horror films all day. Well, well, yeah. I mean, I don't want to go too much into detail with the reasons for my nightmares and night terrors and stuff like that. But, um, but I was having this dream the other night and.
Speaker: I woke up from it and it was like, uh, and this is kind of a reoccurring dream that I have a lot of where, uh, somebody, somebody or some, somebody's break into my house or try to break into my house. I woke up from my dream. And, you know, I, uh, when I woke up, cause my bedroom, you know, my bed sits right there behind me.
Speaker: in my bedroom doors right across from me. So when I'm laying in my bed, I can look right out into the hallway and I see the bathroom and whatnot. So I woke up and when I woke up, I could have swore somebody was standing in the hallway. Oh, that's fucked up. So like my first reaction. You can cheat yourself real quick. Well, my, no, my, you know, a lot of people, most, most everybody has that, that
Speaker: has summer says she has those dreams or has dreams like that, which always ends up in me cheating. That's a typical woman dream. They always, yeah, my wife is cheating. And then he's like, what the fuck was that for you? Fuck that bitch. What are you talking about? Yeah. Like, well, you know what? Get her phone number. I'll do it for real. Fucking hit for it. Jesus Christ. Yeah.
Speaker: But when I say, you know, most people, pretty much every human being has that fight or flight. Well, I think the flight mechanism is broken in my body because I've never had that. So like when I woke up and I do my first reaction, I legitimately grabbed my gun and chambered it and pointed it into the hallway.
Speaker: No, the kids weren't here. I didn't find it. I just chambered it. Then I sat up and I had to walk through my whole house. Like I checked every bedroom. I checked. And it's not a very big apartment, mind you. It's a very tiny apartment. I can just picture you in a pair of boxers. Brown's boxers shorts.
Speaker: like you're fucking Bruce Willis. You be kind of a motherfucker.
Speaker: Yeah. Go to the Christmas party. It'll be fun. Yeah. No. So like, you know, I, I checked every room, checked every closet, double check the door. Uh, door was, and then I came back and then I, I still, I laid there, man, for a good 20 minutes and like my heart was racing and, and it was like, it took me a minute to get comfortable. And it was like, right before, and even before I like, once my eyes started to, started to shut again,
Speaker: I still got up and double -checked the house all over again. Well, I do something similar, but almost the complete opposite. But you were screaming. No, I don't have nightmares, but I'll get something like I was talking to you before we actually started about that guy I was watching on YouTube, where he did the melted wood thing.
Speaker: and
Speaker: because she had to go to the bathroom. Where exactly do you price your stuff at? I need to know these things because, like, we've had the discussion about you getting a laptop. And you've told me... The cheapest laptop I saw was $300. And I could've swore that I sent you
Speaker: an ad from Best Buy down there that had the same exact laptop that I had that it was like $100. So I say that because like every tool you want to buy is like... Well, no, but the Grizzly 12 inch table saw
Speaker: is actually $17 ,900, but it weighs 400 pounds. But you do know that you can buy a table saw that'll do the same exact thing as that.
Speaker: Just as well. Oh, trust me, I know. My wife and I have had this discussion. Yeah. But the Grizzly table saw has a lifetime guarantee. Like I can literally run it over with my truck. If I had to drive it over my truck and they will buy me a brand new one. They will give me a brand new one. Go buy a Craftsman. Craftsman? Craftsman down here is weird. If you lose the receipt,
Speaker: You lost your warranty. You could literally, yeah, I've never heard that with craftsmen before, but you could literally take a craftsman tool. Only in Mexico. Yeah, okay. You could take your time and break that fucker in half, go into any series, like it's a craftsman, they'll give you a new one. That's what I was going to say. Back in the day, you could take a tool in there, literally set it on fire on their cabinet and be like, I don't know what happened to it, it's broken. And they're like, we'll just go grab you a new one.
Speaker: Yeah. Now I know Sears is, well, Sears is pretty much shut down here in the States. And I believe Home Depot, maybe Lowe's. I can't remember which one they took over the Craftsman whole deal, but I know they made some changes because Home Depot is all Husky.
Speaker: Oh, yeah, it was one of them. I don't know, but it's still pretty much the same deal. They tweaked it a little bit, but it still has the same lifetime guarantee, warranty, blah, blah, blah on it. Well, I mean, like I said, you could take a damn break. I wait till my pops comes down and I'm like, I'll hand it. I'll be like, hey, go over to Sears.
Speaker: I'm gonna I'll be like You know he'll come down I'll hand him like three wrenches that I've broken when you get back FedEx in these which which was fine in 2018 now it costs like $400 like fuck it. I'll just go buy a new one but No, but I literally sat in bed and I was figuring out because this died guide Like I said, I'm gonna send you the video or the picture or whatever This is
Speaker: And I was like, I could do that. I think I could do that. And I lied in bed and I'm talking to myself out loud, as loud as I am right now. And my wife's like, what are you doing? I said, I'm figuring something out. And I went silent. I said, okay, I'll do it in my head. Because when I figure something out, I have a conversation with myself. I'm like, oh, if I use a router to do the 45 chamfer, could I use a V bit?
Speaker: Uh, how deep would I go? But I had, you know, I'm sitting there figuring it out and I'm like, no, you can't use a chamfer bit. You got to use the V bit, blah, blah, blah. And my wife's like, who are you talking to? I said myself, this is how I figure shit out. I said, because I could draw it all day. I could draw it 10 ,000 times and I won't understand it until I talk it out. So I said, well, I said to myself, I'll just figure it out in my head. And she's like, why do you stop?
Speaker: I was like, because I'm bothering you. She's like, no, you're helping me fall asleep. It's such a boring fucking conversation that I'm falling asleep. That is not even anywhere near remotely close to what I was asking you about. I will literally
Speaker: and
Speaker: And I'll go downstairs and show my wife what I built. And I'm like, wait, where the fuck is it? Oh, shit, I didn't build. Damn it. But I mean, that does that does, like Summer said, you know, the cheating thing. I mean, that's kind of a lot of women have them. And those those cheating drones are so real, real, so vivid. The other day, she's like, she saw something. And she's like, you fuck that chick. I'm like, what do you what do you who? Where was I? Because
Speaker: I would have liked to remember it. She's gorgeous. And she's like, no, I know you fucked her. I'm like, so me and Christina Aguilera from the dirty video did it. She's like, yes. I'm like, is there video proof? Because I'd like to see that video. Yeah. I will highlight my dick and everything. That's me. That was me.
Speaker: She's like, it was so real. I'm like, one of me, I missed that one. Summer has the skates. What do you mean you have the skates? Skates? Yeah. I don't know. Shakes. Is that a typo? Shakes. Yeah. Shakes. Yeah. From not smoking. She's currently not smoking right now. She's got COVID. Oh, I pity you. Now, see, I don't care how sick I am. And she's vaccinated.
Speaker: Oh, Jesus. Nope. No, I don't do it. I just want, don't do it. I just, yeah, you're not allowed. See how I do that to you. I'm staving over the vacuum. But no matter how sick I am, I know how you feel summer.
Speaker: And because if I got a cold in like the doctor, like take medicine, the first thing my, because I have to have my wife there to translate with the fucking doctors. And the first thing my wife says every doctor, should he smoke while he takes this medicine? And the doctor's like, no. And I'm like, yeah, good luck with that doc. I'm going to smoke. I don't give them fuck. Yeah.
Speaker: Nobody's, nobody's judging you for, for, for getting vaccinated at all. I was just, I was just dangling the bait out there just because, just because I could see days about them.
Speaker: I can see it in your in your eyes. I see it in your face. My eyes fucking explode. And that was that was that was me asserting dominance over you by putting it out there and then completely denying you making sure that you know that I am the alpha male. I'm getting a t shirt that says I'm vaccinated. I'm afraid I'm going to make it because I don't
Speaker: But yeah, fortunately for Summer, her symptoms have not been that bad. It came on, and from what she was - So mostly that's what the vaccine does. It's not really a cure. It's to make the symptoms less. Yeah. Well, the - Which doesn't really sound like a vaccine to me, but okay. It came on like a sinus infection. So she had all that pressure like right there in her nose and in her face and everything.
Speaker: She said the other night that she that she couldn't smell anything, but I don't know how much. I don't know if that's changed or not. That could have just been because her nose was so stuffed up. And but she said she put on something. I can't remember what it was like flex or some shit like some flex or some shit like that. And she couldn't smell it. But I was like, I don't know. No, no, flex, flex, all is a bio freeze.
Speaker: I just watched a TikTok video or somebody it's honestly a news. It's a full as part of a full
Speaker: video series or whatever where this news lady tested the things they show on Flex Seal videos. And at one point in the Flex Seal video, he builds a like a off -road buggy that's got this big V8 in the back and he puts it together only with Flex Seal and then goes and she's like, you know, they tested the two bricks together and you know, and then they tested the thousand pounds hanging from two blocks of wood. And she says,
Speaker: They build a buggy. So did we. And they bring out this little bit of golf cart. Little kids go cart. And I'm like, that's not what they built. The other things you were right. But this is not a summer. Okay. So, so summer said, summer said, I still can't smell. I can smell the peppermint oil. Well, that's smelling. Yeah. That's still a sense of smell.
Speaker: You said it, I'm glad you said it, not me. I was reading the comment. Because she's like, smell the peppermint oil. But she can't smell anything else. No, well, I think...
Speaker: Uh, the funniest COVID video I've seen was that, that girl, she's like, she goes to Starbucks and she's like, this is supposed to be really good. I can't taste anything. Oh shit. I got cold. Well, again, if you're still, if you're still all junked up and your nose is still all stuffed up, that could be why you can't smell anything. If you're putting the peppermint oil on the inside of your nose and you're smelling it, then you still can.
Speaker: start shoving other things up your nose i was gonna say i'm gonna i'm gonna get a message uh i shoved a cheeto up my nose to see if i can still smell it and now it's not where my brain went but okay well yes
Speaker: Oh my God, speaking of... But she can't smell the Vicks in her nose. Well, that's kind of weird. Yeah, that is kind of weird. That is weird, because Vicks is like... She said she has been shoving things in her nose. So she just... Apparently she's already doing that. She's just walking around... Nope, nothing. Nope, nothing. Grab my old gym socks. Trust me, you'll smell them.
Speaker: Well, that's what I said. Let me fuck around and get COVID and lose my taste, lose my sense of taste and sense of smell. It's a shame that I live alone because ain't nobody gonna find me for like four days after I drink an entire jar of moonshine because I can't taste or smell it. And I'm just like. Exactly. That would be my fear. The cops are going to kick the door and I'm going to still be passed out naked on the jar.
Speaker: They're doing a wellness check. You chamber another round. What are you doing in my house? We were called to do a wellness check. Nobody's heard from me for four days. Well, I got COVID. I lost my sense of smell, lost my taste. So I drank this entire jar. So I just drank it.
Speaker: I was trying to find a cure. Well, supposedly in Australia, they found a cure. It's like a, it's a tablet pill.
Speaker: I don't know what the **** it's called. I'm not sure. I don't think I'm in Australia. Australia has also as we as as we talked last week, um Australia has the rape snakes. Yeah, exactly. So, that's just that's just rape snake chloroform. That's all that is. Don't mind that snake. He's just sitting there licking his lips. You have COVID? Take three of these. Take three of these and
Speaker: Summer says she can still taste so that she's got that going for her still so but yeah, so.
Speaker: I was going to, I was going to say something. That's why I'm kind of hoping to get, I know where your brain went because my brain went there too. And she said, sorry, Chris. Well, that's not it. That is not a, that is not a problem at all whatsoever. Tell me if it tastes like a dick.
Speaker: That's that's definitely not a problem for my wife once and she almost punched me in the dick Trust me that's that's not an issue in our house because little miss Dyson vacuum cleaner over there Explain that
Speaker: What what a dice was my life because they don't you know two vacuum cleaners down here. What's that? Because Yeah, typically typically, you know, it's called summer the Dyson and she's like I said well, it's a vacuum
Speaker: And she goes, oh shit, I said, yeah, I said you got some work. Typically, again, you know, you know, having the 500 miles or whatever that separate us with our with our relationship.
Speaker: When we do see each other, our interaction is, you know, the hug, the embrace, the kiss, we're so happy to see each other, and then some are... Have you ever seen the video with the monkey taking the banana? Give me that banana.
Speaker: I sent that video to my wife, I'm like, this is what you need to do. She sent me a message back, fuck you. Just saying. What's going on, Joanne? I literally, I told my wife, after the Dyson story, after explaining what Dyson made. Oh my God, will you guys go to bed? Seriously, you're pissing me off.
Speaker: Kill them kids. I'm about to. Summer's brother told her to come and get the moon sign. See, I'm not the only one. I am not the only one on that kick. Hey, Joe. After I pulled the dice and thing to my wife's mother, she's like, do I do a good job? I'm like, I said, honey, you can check the watermelon through 100 foot of garden hose. Don't you worry about nothing. You know, if she really did a good job, you wouldn't have to tell her that.
Speaker: Well, the thing is I'm also the only wife's ever been with. Well, well, um, low hanging fruit, but your life is also 14. So, uh, according to basically most of her family, I've corrupted her beyond belief because my wife being raised Mormon, don't drink, don't smoke, don't get tattoos, no sex for marriage, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker: Well, uh, that went out the fucking window because the woman's got more tattoos than I do. Uh, she's apparently drinking her face off as we speak. Well, that, that, that, that has nothing to do with you. I mean, that's typically, that's typically a word we're up against here, but I mean,
Speaker: Well, I mean, that's just typical with rum in it and and I I brought the bottle over to her brother's like here smell this And he it is a good foot and a half from his face. He's like oh Oh my god, dude, you're living the wrong fucking town to act like that. Yeah Well, that's that's just one of those things generally with with people who are brought up whether in
Speaker: uh crazy religious families and or um you know super strict parents yeah or cults which i don't know holland's still in here but holland used to be in a cult um uh you know once once they're able to break free or uh or what else is going on in the world yeah they they have it
Speaker: two branches go wild out or go deep into it. Yeah. You know, so most, most, most I see most seems like for a minute, they just wild out, man. They just, they just lose their shit and they calm down a little bit. But, you know, but there's that, yeah, that initial
Speaker: But yeah, I apparently was blamed in the family for that. I was like, Hey, you know me, I went with her for her first tattoo and it wasn't my idea. And then every couple of weeks she's coming home. I got another, I'm like, where the hell are you? Why are you so late? She comes home. She's like, I have another tattoo. I'm like, well, there you go. Well, Jesus H. Chris, but I mean, she's got more ink than I do at this point.
Speaker: Well, I know. Summer's the same way. Hopefully eventually one day I'll have the money to where I can go get, get more tats only. Like, like we talked about in the past is getting a part -time job at a tattoo parlor and be like, Hey, if you guys are bored, you know what, we're, we're, we're kind of like right there. We're up against it here, but I will bring up the tattoo parlor job when we come back. We'll take a real quick break, guys. We'll be right back.
Speaker: Go find some chicken. Jeff's going to go beat his kids. Enjoy a little, uh, black top mojo before you're sad. I think this is one of pop's favorite songs actually. Cause this is the one that he was screaming at me to play. Can't sleep. We'll be right back here. You've been knocked down in the city.
Speaker: Is there something you're hiding now?
Speaker: Why are you staring at the ceiling to the morning light?
Speaker: I've been sitting here waiting Still out the window of the street Watch strangers come round the corner Hoping it was you and me But I pretend not to notice The distance in the night
Speaker: I'm still in smoking light
Speaker: Tell me why you can't sleep You're not the only one who ever needed Speak screaming loud It's your doubt you're leaving Lives make you weak And that's why you can't sleep
Speaker: Are you staring at the ceiling till the morning light?
Speaker: Woo. Hell yeah. Tell me why you can't leave. Speaking of not sleeping, did you get a chance to watch that movie I told you about? Well, anyways. Always. Well, hold on. Let me get to this, man. OK. Welcome back, everybody, to nonsensical nonsense.
Speaker: Hopefully you enjoyed a little Blacktop Mojo. All right, guys. Hopefully they're rested up. I think they're, uh, they're on break from tour right now. If you're not already, go ahead and go check those guys out on social media. They're everywhere at Blacktop Mojo. Check them out. Stream their music. Tell them, uh, tell them nonsensical nonsense sent you. And while you're there on social media, make sure you go check us out as well. Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube.
Speaker: Yeah. And now officially on Twitch, give us a follow, give us a like and give us a thumbing right in the old. Yeah. If you like what you hear, check out every episode on Google, Apple, Spotify, anywhere you get podcasts at it. Again, at nonsensical nonsense. We're up to 35 episodes. This is 36, right? Yeah, man. That's a lot.
Speaker: It feels like that. If you want to email, you should do it on the nonsensical nonsense podcast at gmail .com. Yeah. Email us on the Senate. Hit us up with an email if you want to sponsor us or be a guest on the show or anything like that. Yeah. Well, I did. I did. I did watch that movie the old way. Yeah. I think I did watch that movie. I like the ending.
Speaker: I did not like the ending. I thought it was a bit, okay, yeah, okay. I don't think I made it to the ending, but it was, it was all right. It wasn't, it was too much of a thinker. Yeah, it was a real thinker. And well, the thing is, is like where it's, where it's, uh, takes place is, I mean, they didn't leave that.
Speaker: Like, well, yeah, I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, you know, it's, it's not kind of witchcraft, medicine, magical healing, whatnot, the brujas, which I'm still, I'm down with that stuff, like with voodoo and hoodoo and, and everything like that. I mean, I'm not, obviously I'm not a practitioner or anything like that.
Speaker: but I like reading about it. I like hearing about it. You know, I like to educate myself on it a little bit, but yeah, it was just, it was, it was, it was really slow, man. It was slow and drawn out. And plus I had other things. I can't remember how far I had, plus I had other things going on that I was doing. So, you know, it's one of those movies that in all honesty,
Speaker: Yeah, I'm probably gonna have to sit down and try to watch it like maybe next weekend when the kids aren't here or something like that when I'm just laying around not doing anything. But yeah, like I said today, I had so much going on doing doing podcast stuff and whatnot and everything like that. And then like I said, I was on social media trying to be out there a little bit more.
Speaker: um and I wound up getting into a conversation with a with a guy on twitter who does a podcast another podcast host him and I got the bullshit and then uh it was just like a real casual conversation just kind of like right like two old buddies who haven't seen each other in a while type deal you know he was like hey what's going on man i was like oh not much just working on editing and podcasting he's like ah man i'm stuck at the farmer's market um this is
Speaker: The missus wanted to get fresh speeches. So, you know, kind of that bullshit, just kind of bullshit talking back and forth. And then we kind of then, you know, kind of casually rolled into a little bit of stuff about our podcast. And it was funny because he was like, dude, we're talking about our podcast like they're fucking kids. And I was like, well, you know, in a way they kind of like they are to the point where
Speaker: I think I bring up the podcast to strangers more than I do my kids. My friend came over. I met this chick like once. And Mexico has this weird thing when you see somebody, you do the kiss on the cheek. It kind of freaks me out a little bit with people I've met once. This good looking chick walks in my house.
Speaker: And she's like, hi, Jeff, how you doing? And I'm like, oh, hey, it's a high school foreign exchange student from France. So it was double kiss. And she was gorgeous. And it kind of freaked me out a couple of times. I was, you know, until I got used to it. But I was just like, oh, yeah, you say the the kiss on the cheek and kind of freaks you out.
Speaker: My ex -wife, we had some friends, one of her friends, she was a nurse down there. She was a nurse at the same hospital my ex -wife worked at. And their family was from New York, Italians, like 100 % Italian New Yorkers. And her dad was a former cop and all that jazz. But their thing is they kiss people on the lips.
Speaker: just a quick pet and the first time that I met her and her husband she like walked up and you know her husband and you know did the normal he would shake hands or whatever she walks up gives me a little hug and a kiss on them like on the mouth like a little peck on the lips I'm like whoa we don't swing in this house what the fuck I'm not I don't have a pineapple
Speaker: My ex -wife, when we left, I was like, yo, what was that all about? And she was like, oh, they're Italian. And I'm like, oh, yeah, that makes sense. But it's that New Yorker Italian thing.
Speaker: You know, we were actually really good friends with them. So that was just a normal occurrence. Every time they'd come over or we'd go over or whatever. But then the first time I went to a family function and I met like her mom and her sister. Yeah. It was just like, I made out with an entire family. I don't even know.
Speaker: Yeah. I was like, I don't know if I should feel violated or, you know, I don't know what's going on because every, every chick in that house. And I'm pretty sure half the old dudes kissed me on the cheek too. I'm glad they didn't go for a mouth kiss, but grandma can suck some tongue. He still got it.
Speaker: No, but this, uh, I was in, I was, this is the funniest thing, but I was in youth group in my church, which the devil youth. Well, I'm going to tell, I'm going to, I'm going to tell you right now what happened to you in youth group by the preacher was not normal. That's not a normal practice guys I've ever met.
Speaker: one of the coolest guys ever met but this French foreign exchange student comes in and you know he's I think he was 35 36 and I think I was like 18 and this chick comes in she's 16 and she comes up she's like oh hi Tom and she kissed him on both cheeks he's like whoa whoa whoa I was like come she's from France he's like oh yeah
Speaker: Well, I mean, a kiss on the cheek really isn't that big of a thing. I mean, to me, she would literally come up to you like, like, Hey, I can't remember her name. I dated her for like three months, but I can't remember. But she'd go, she'd go, I'd be like, Hey, Marie, or whatever. This is Chris. And she'd give you a big bear hug and then kiss you full on both cheeks. And, you know, to a bystander, it looks like, oh, she knows that guy pretty fucking well.
Speaker: yeah well yeah i mean like i said the kiss the kiss of the kiss of the cheek is really not all that big of a deal but you know like i said when you you first meet somebody and you know you do a little they you know the little the little hey how you doing hug and then i was like whoa hey wait a minute it's literally a peck and it's nothing serious i turn my lips i go yeah where i'm not actually touching anything but yeah
Speaker: Like I said, like I said, it was a bikini walks in my house is like, hi, Jeff. And I'm like, hey, who are you? Oh, yeah. I met you once before. And my wife's like, you don't remember my honey. I don't remember our neighbors half the time. She's like, if you say all Mexicans look alike, you can get the fuck out. I said, no, I don't pay attention to people because I don't give a fuck about anybody. I said, Chris can walk in like, who the fuck are you?
Speaker: Why is there a bear? Why is there a grizzly bear in my house? Hagrid's looking motherfucker, walking in my house. I watched this guy on YouTube the other day. Speaking of being a giant haggard motherfucker, just to put this out there, I posted a video on TikTok today. On our TikTok page. Yeah. Where I walked through the doorways. Oh, yeah, yeah. Who's back? Where is that?
Speaker: Is that Pops? Yeah, it's at Pops and Joe's house. It's fucking cool. It's down in their basement. Their basement, I love their fucking house, dude. I really fucking love their house. It's so nice. But that basement is in the, or that bathroom. Yeah, that bathroom's in the basement. I got the entire house of wood and she said no, like I was a little kid, so.
Speaker: Yeah. Well, that bathroom's in the basement, but, you know, I had, I have to duck to walk into that doorway. I'm only six too. I'm not that tall, but you know, I did have to duck to walk through that doorway because I have smacked my head. Yeah. But I had one of my buddies commented on that and he was like, God damn Glick, you had to, you had to duck under that doorway. And, uh, doorway gone now.
Speaker: Yeah. And then summer was like, it's a short doorway. I'm like, let me, let me feel like I'm a giant. I mean, I already know I'm a big son. There's a reason why I shop in the farming section to pick up Barbie coats.
Speaker: I don't need to do that. I don't need to do that because a normal beer can looks like a, like a, like a Barbie beer can in my hand. So, I mean, I'm not small by any means I'm still a big guy, but still I'm not that big that I have to duck underneath every doorway that I walk into. It's just what happens. He was six, six foot seven. And I worked with this guy at Joe Bear.
Speaker: And the funny thing is he looked like about the thickness of my fucking tripod or my, my, you know, but, but he was six foot seven and we'd walk in people's houses. My dad being as big as round as he is tall, me being a goofy, skinny little short kid. And then this giant that stood six foot seven would duck underneath and be like, we're here to fix your sink.
Speaker: And people were like, wow, you guys are just the weirdest shaped people on the planet. Yeah. Cause my dad is only, my dad is five foot four. Yeah. And I'm five, three. And then Trent was seven. But I mean, but if you look at me with a picture of my siblings,
Speaker: My siblings could form together like fucking Voltron and still be smaller than me. I started watching this this couple on YouTube. Oh, of course, Stevie. That's what I started watching this couple last night. And the concept of the channel is my girlfriend watches
Speaker: insert movie here for the first time. And I was like, okay, yeah, okay. Maybe, maybe he's showing her like Goonies or he's showing her, you know, he's old classics. She watched Harry Potter for the first time and Iron Man and stuff. I'm like, where the fuck is this chick in a coma? No, but I mean, she watched Avengers Infinity War like a week ago for the first time. I'm like, what the fuck is this big chick been underneath a fucking rock in a coma?
Speaker: First of all, I'm not laughing at that. I'm laughing at your quick save that failed epically. You're like, what the fuck is this bitch chick been? What's funny is because, because again, I know you haven't seen Harry Potter. I know you haven't seen Harry Potter, but Robbie Coltrane, you kind of look like Robbie Coltrane with your giant beard and Robbie Coltrane is, uh, well, it was, he, he did pass away. Robbie Coltrane was six foot.
Speaker: five something like that big guy yeah he's the one who played Hagrid he's six foot five he was six foot five and then on top that they made him taller he was he's six one calm down six one okay well okay he's a big yeah he died i think it's because he was too big because he was big he was a big dude he was a huge car
Speaker: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. That guy looks like the Grim Reaper. I'm like, who the fuck are you? No, no, she's calling the Undertaker from WWF. I was like, yeah, I don't know. You obviously don't watch him. Are you saying that I'm going to die because I'm a big fucker? No, no. Robbie Coltrane was like three of you. Okay. Well, if you pick a, pull a Google picture, Robbie Coltrane in like
Speaker: Was it like 2001? He, he, he's six one. I don't know. I mean, he's, he's a, he's a heavyset guy. Yes. Yeah. He's heavy set. That's what I'm talking. I think, I think he was a penguin. Yeah. He's shaped like the penguin. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. He's, he's, he's a big dude, but I think he died of heart problems. Like Andre the giant.
Speaker: I don't remember exactly what he died of. I could, I could, I could do that. I could do that with, um, Summer and Joe are talking to the chat. They're just having casual talk. They're not even paying attention to us. And summer's like, Hey, how you doing? And Joe was like, doing fine. How are you? And summer's like, just sticking stuff up my nose.
Speaker: See, Joe, if you would show up early, you would know. Well, you know, I could, I could do something like that. I could do something like that with summer. I mean, cause she's never seen like top gun. I don't know if she's ever seen roadhouse or she's never seen cocktail or I could probably do that with my wife, except for the fact my wife hates the camera hates it. Like she, I told her, I said, what would it take for you to come on the podcast one time?
Speaker: And she's been on the podcast. But I mean, actually, like Summer does, like, you know, do a hometown stories kind of thing. And she's like, it'll never happen. I said, so you're telling me we get bigger than Joe fucking dickface Roman Rogan. And you wouldn't come on the podcast. She said, oh, I definitely wouldn't be on the fucking podcast then. Well, you don't have to call him now. I'm in the other goddamn room. I'm not going. I'm not doing snap to check streaks with you.
Speaker: my daughter it's like i said i said in the other room now's the time to jump on the podcast when we're small because we're not stopping because of yeah because because we're big like joe when we're big and popular bigger than joe roman whoever he is
Speaker: We don't have time for your little ass. Be gone. Yeah. He's going to go bang. Jeff's going to be banging your hot friend. Somebody pick you up. I'll send out the chauffeur. Yeah. Yeah. Like I never have a chauffeur. I don't think Joe Rogan's a dickface. No, I know. I just know you're not a fan. I like him. I think he's got a puncher. He's got a punch in the face.
Speaker: Have you seen that dude hit a heavy bag? Holy fuck look He has a punchable face. I kind of want to punch him in the face, but I also know that Okay, this is gonna this is gonna be a first Okay, I can fight a grizzly bear and be the grizzly bear's ass I'm all I'll fight a kangaroo and be the kangaroo's ass
Speaker: Jeff will have sex with the rape snake down in Australia. Oh, how does he miss the reins? Once again, it depends on if it's going in or it's sucking on something. Is it sucking on something? No, it's definitely going in. But I will give Joe Rogan his due. And I know Joe Rogan has worked for many years, trained his technique and trained his art. And he might have a chance against me to where he would get the best of me.
Speaker: I've seen him hit that heavy bag with that with his foot. He hits it like fucking Captain America and fucking. When you first see him sitting or punching those bags and knocks a bag across room, holy fuck, dude. I think Joe Rogan will probably beat the only hell out of me, but there's always that chance, you know, if he gives me one shot, if I get his viewers and listeners, I will sponsor that fucking file, pay for that fucking fight to happen.
Speaker: If he let me have one free shot in the jaw, then I would sign up because I may put him to sleep for a very long time if he gives me one free shot.
Speaker: And if he doesn't, and if he doesn't, I'm going to be running around the octagon. I totally do a full on Tobey Maguire Spiderman. Just run around the ring. What are you doing? Stand the fuck away from you. I was born at night. It wasn't last night, stupid. Yeah, right. I am not going to leave your granddaughter. She's literally Snapchatting me when she's across the hall, pops.
Speaker: for Snapchat streaks. Uh, I would, I would Joe, but it's down in the washer or dryer. I had it on earlier and got some schmutz on it. Oh, uh, on top of you bragging about having Brenner. What? Oh, Brenner. Yeah. That's a scrubs reference. Like you read about.
Speaker: snapchatting you past school question I was sending you streaks like I did every single person I had one snapchatting you past school question I was sending you streaks like I did every single person I had one snapchatting you past school question I was sending you streaks like I did every single person I had one snapchatting you past school question I was sending you streaks like I did every single person I had one snapchatting you past school question I was sending you streaks like I did every single person I had one snapchatting you past school question I was sending you streaks like I did every single person I had one snapchatting you past school question I had one snapchatting you past school question I was sending you streaks like I did every single person I had one snapchatting you past school question I was sending you streaks like I did every single person I had one snapchatting you past school question I was sending you streaks like I did every single person I had one snapchatting you past school question I was sending you streaks like I did every single person I had one snapchatting you
Speaker: Oh yeah, yeah, no, that happened real quick in a hurry. Joe bought me that nine line shirt, the Mahalo one I was telling you about. Oh, nice. It's really cool. I had it on today. I was gonna wear it during the podcast, but like I said, I was cooking dinner and got some schmoots on it. So I had to go down into a load of laundry. That's why I changed my shirt. There's a...
Speaker: Guy on TikTok, he puts on different wigs and stuff. He's talking about OnlyFans changing, like, we're going to take it off. And he's like, one of them is, he's the creator CEO, one of them he's two other, and then he plays the two other employees like, so we're going to stop doing porn on OnlyFans. And his employees is like, is that because your 18 -year -old daughter started an account? And they're like, wait, she started an account? What's her name?
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. Today I saw one. It was like, so I changed my mind. We're going to go back to, uh, uh, is that because your daughter deleted your account? Wait, she deleted it. That one employee turns the others. I screenshotted. Don't worry about it. It's on Reddit. I looked that guy up. His name is Timothy. Uh, the guy that owns, uh, only fed, you know, he's only worth 120.
Speaker: $120 million or $120 million? $120 million. You say that he's only worth $120 million. You think it would be more than that? I don't know. I'm not saying that's a small number. But you know, some people are bringing in, like, what's her name? I forget her name. Like, the one chick pulled in like a million dollars in less than 12 hours. Yeah, but I mean, I guess it depends on how much of a percentage and whatnot that only fans take.
Speaker: And all that jazz, I don't know the, I don't, I don't know the, uh, inner workings and whatnot. You know, I don't know how it works, but I mean, that's kind of like, damn, I was thinking at least 300. Oh.
Speaker: 120 million though. That's 120 million. I won't sneeze if somebody wants to give me 120 million. I have 120 million. Then pops and pops and Joe are fighting in the chat room now. Nice. Cause I said, Joe got me that. Joe got me that shirt and dad said, Hey, I bought that shirt. And the funny thing is, is that they're probably sitting beside each other right now.
Speaker: They're literally facing each other across the room and matching recliners. You say that as a joke, but they have matching recliners and they're right there beside each other in the living room. I looked at recliners the other day and they, Jesus Christ, I saw one. Well, I looked at it.
Speaker: Bob's confirmed. They are. Well, I was thinking about because I've got this giant sectional man and it's old as **** and it's it's I love the thing but man, it's it's it's ran its course. I've more than gotten my money out of it. Yeah. And uh I was thinking about you know, I'm going to get rid of it. Um and I was hanging another sectional, get another couch, another love seat and I was like, I'll just get a couple recliners but then it's like my **** kids are going to fight over the goddamn recliners.
Speaker: If I went and bought four recliners and I said, that's awesome. Fight over the brown one, you know. Yeah. This is, they could, they could all be the same thing. Exact same recliner. This is Austin's. That's buggies. And that's Cassius. They would still fight her.
Speaker: And then they still sit in mine and I'd have to threaten to throw them out the window, kind of like they sit in my spot. You know, I have my spot on the sectional where I sit. Until my wife took my spot, I took hers.
Speaker: But yeah, my couch is literally I can see you ready to die. And what you meant to say is that you have a spot that your wife allows you to use temporarily until she wants to know what happened was like I said that I'm surprised you're even allowed to sit on the couch. She doesn't sit on the floor. It was made by like Bob. And
Speaker: One of the kids tried to close it with their hands and they bent one of the metal pieces and it bent multiple times and then broke. So now when, when the recliner prop comes up, it goes like this. Well, it's actually, we have a lot of Bob's down there. You got Bob's furniture, Bob's electronics. Well, I call it Bob is generic no name brand. It's Bob is I like, I like the name Bob. I don't know why.
Speaker: Maybe you should stop shopping at Bob's and then the only laptop you could find would not be $300. We bought it at Walmart and they wanted, let's see, I think we paid 300, almost 400 bucks for it, three years ago and it's served its purpose. We've had it for a while.
Speaker: And then I built the benches. So everybody sits on the benches now because they're super comfy. For some reason, I don't find them comfy and I built them. But like my son was laying on it. He's like, I'm asleep here tonight. I was like, what are you fucking retarded? Go to bed. Well, that's cash. He sleeps in the living room. He doesn't even go in his fucking bedroom. I'm like, but I mean.
Speaker: Well, my kids now have two matrimonial size mattresses and bed frames in their bedroom. There's plenty of matrimonial size. They're slightly bigger than their spot is they're smaller than Queen, but they're bigger than twin. Yeah, okay. Yeah, it's I don't know why but I think it's actually twin. But down here they call it matrimonial. You know, I don't fuck
Speaker: But I mean, do they know what matrimonial is? I mean, do they know what that means? Pictures where I literally had to cut an inch off of it, literally an inch off. I had to take the entire bed frame apart to cut off an inch out of like six boards. That was a ridiculous project just to cut it. It was completely ridiculous, but it just to make it fit. And it actually turned out it was like an inch and a half on some boards and an inch.
Speaker: couple. It was really weird. But it was, it's one of the things it was to get them to fit in that room. I had to take I had to take material off the bed. So like, they have literally wall to wall on three walls. You can easily put six people on that bed. It looks really cool. But
Speaker: But my son was like, I'm going to sleep down here. I'm like, what the fuck for you? Got a bigger bed than me. Yeah. What do you, what do you worry about? Uh, chatter's box chiming in here. Hey, Ron, what's up, brother? How are you doing, man? He said, are you still married to the dickhead Kevin? I don't know that I was ever married to the dickhead Kevin and to answer your questions. Me first.
Speaker: Yeah. To answer your question. Yeah. Probably not the best discussion for the podcast right now. But off air, we can gladly chit chat and conversate back and forth. We got a what?
Speaker: I got to get a pillow for this chair. It's these chairs. My wife bought a table and chairs. Uh, he sees the feed after, after he, uh, what do you want? No, he does not see the feed at all. Actually. He doesn't see the comments. He doesn't see anything. You can't see the comments. You can't see the comments.
Speaker: Aaron so on air here we go. No, I don't. I don't I don't want to get into it. Yeah, I don't I don't want to get into it on here, not because I'm worried about anybody's feelings or anything like that. Just because I don't want to know. Yeah, exactly. It's just not a topic I want to get into on here because it's good.
Speaker: go down a whole other road with me just being over people's bullshit and over. What is the 25th amendment? I don't. 25th amendment is where you, uh, remove a president. Oh, okay. Cool. It's like it's impeachment without impeachment. Invoking the 25th amendment is removing of a president. We're going to revolt.
Speaker: Fucking A, I'm ready. And I will lead the charge from here. What does he say at Braveheart? You could, you could take our lives, but you'll never take our lives. You'll never take our lives. Now, um,
Speaker: Yeah. Like I said, uh, yeah, that, that, well, that whole situation, the political route, we don't, we don't venture down political and conspiracies and both. If anybody wants to start a political podcast, I'm in, I'm in as long as there's a podcast and, and, and, uh, schedule wise. Oh, but I'm in.
Speaker: Well, on this podcast, I just like to dangle it in front of your face and just tease you with it. Look what I got for you. I got a nice 24 -ounce. I got a nice 24 -ounce juicy medium rare steak for you, buddy. But you can't have it. Because this is my world. As the guy who's sitting here in a Patriot shirt in a black flag
Speaker: Uh, ball cap. Uh, not a hundred percent, but no quarter, no surrender. Yeah. And we, we, we will die before you take us. Basically. Why do I got it? Why, why I gotta be a hoe? Why I gotta be a hoe a rod? Yeah. What the fuck? Yeah. That's, that's cold blood of it. Well, here's the thing. We have a microphone and you do not.
Speaker: No, I just don't like to talk politics and religion, you know, I just, uh, I think, I think he was calling me up politics and religion and, you know, we're,
Speaker: Hey, we don't take ourselves that serious in the fucking first place. No, no, I think, I think, I think people were listening to us to talk religion and politics. We're going to be wrong. 99 .9 % of the time. Well, no, let's just go ahead. Let's just go ahead and be honest. We're going to be wrong. A hundred fucking percent of the time. No. And we're going to make fun. We're going to make fun because we've tried to be funny sometimes. Well,
Speaker: It was literally, I could literally see people marching up the street to take us both out because we're talking religion.
Speaker: Yeah. Uh, you know, Aaron in the chatters box said, uh, if only they seen the Bud Light bottles, as we've talked about in the past, I went down to, uh, when I went down to Tampa and met everybody and I stayed with AARON. I spent the week together. It was like everybody I met in, yeah, cuddling and, you know, eating McDonald's at four o 'clock in the morning, drunker than shit. That is the best time to eat McDonald's too.
Speaker: We did. We were eating Uber. So much shit that week because all we did was drink. But the first speaking of the guy with $120 million, if I had a $220 million, I would never leave my house. I would have the best equipment. There would be for the podcast, but I would literally never cook again. Oh yeah. Well, I would hire somebody just to completely get rid of my kitchen. I'll make dual storage.
Speaker: Yeah, I would. Uber eats every fucking meal. No, I would. I would have I would have like Gordon Ramsay cooking for me and I would just have him yell at me every night. Gordon, I'm bored. Let's have a fight.
Speaker: Yeah. You can't for shit, bitch. But hey, you know what? A .A. Ron said, you stayed with me because no tea stain kicked you out. That is 100 % true. I was an hour away and Stan was like, oh yeah, you can't stay here. And I'm like, son of a bitch. But no, the first night we were there, and it's funny that A .A. Ron says that because that just popped up in my memories the other day, they took a picture of me.
Speaker: And I had like, I don't know, there was probably 20 empty Bud Light bottles beside my chair. And then I had, I think I had one or two in my, I had one in each hand or they were just in amazement that I was still, still drinking, still, you know, still like functional. They're like, we gotta get a picture of this. I've had those nights. Well, like, uh,
Speaker: My graduation party, my mom sent me pictures. Last time my mom was here, she brought down a bunch of pictures. And my wife was throwing, she's like, why are you sitting in a recliner in the middle of the field drinking beer next to the cake? Oh, that was my graduation party. Literally, I think my parents are throwing out this old recliner and I was like, wait, you're gonna throw that out? Let's take it up to the field. I'll sit in it.
Speaker: And then when we get really drunk, we'll throw it in the fire. And that's what we did. Yeah. Now, like I said, you know, things changed on the fly when I went down to Florida, but all in all, at the end of the day, I was thankful for Aaron and A. Ron and I, I think we had a good week together. We had fun hanging out together. Um, he was, him and I actually got along really well. So, you know, he was a cool dude to spend a week with for the most part, but, um,
Speaker: He is angry with Kevin and Stan. I've kind of gotten over my anger issues with those two. It is what it is. Yeah, exactly. You can't agree with somebody all the time. Yeah, you know. What's the saying? If you try to make everybody happy, you'll make no one happy, including yourself. Yeah, pretty much. Okay.
Speaker: My favorite saying is fuck them if they can't take a joke. Oh, I, I am, uh, I am, uh, summer, summer's a good one at it too. Summer fucks me up when she says it, but that is what it is, man. I love using that. That's that phrase. Yeah. Well, and, and, you know, that is, I, uh,
Speaker: Well, I agree with the concept that that is the most dangerous kind of person too, because nothing really gets to me. I'll burn down the world, you talk to me like that, but now I'm just like, you know what, I'm 40 years old, I don't give a fuck. Well, Joe and the... Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: Joe in the chatters box, she would like to know why Jeff moved to Cancun. And if you would listen to, if you were actually a fan and you actually listened to the podcast, you would know that Jeff is in Cancun because he's on the run from the law. Yeah. I killed 45 people and then came down here. He's on the run from the law from Belleville, Ohio, because he is the serial cattle reaper.
Speaker: I'm sorry. It was only one cow. It was only one cow. I'm sorry. It was there. I was ready for it. Cow was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Jeff raped 175 sheep.
Speaker: and uh apparently in a single night and uh any he he uh the the the coppers were on to him the coppers were on to him and he said you'll never take me alive see and he he he rained in mexico and fucking baby face
Speaker: Yeah, other charges on there were stealing batteries from Walmart in 1999 1998. Yeah.
Speaker: accomplish unnamed. Possibly is accomplished in the Walmart in the Walmart. The Walmart caper was possibly Sasquatch, but the picture was blurry. So like some sort dude and fucking Chewbacca walking through this fucking Walmart. Yeah.
Speaker: It was a caper Actually, I honestly I do not know what Jeff is in Cancun other he's told me that he had a buddy Yeah
Speaker: And, you know, I was in my twenties and getting laid every single night. So I was like, I'm going to stay here. And then I eventually met my wife and still here. I don't believe it, but you know, you know, that's the story and you stick into it. See, I literally told my wife, we're sitting by the pool and I come in and I said, I saw it on TikTok.
Speaker: And I said to my wife, I said, Hey, I got a joke for you. She's like, Yeah, okay. And she's sitting by the pool. She hasn't gotten in yet. She laughed so hard. She fell in the pool. And the joke is, teachers stand in front of the class, you know, just got a glass full like eight, eight, eight year olds or whatever. And she says, What's the sound a cow makes? Well, Susie raised her hand. She's like, the cow says mood. She's a very good Susie.
Speaker: She says, what is the sound the horse makes? Billie raises his hand and says, Billie, Billie? Billie says, the horse says nay. Very good. She goes, what does the pig say? And little Johnny in the back shoots his hand up so fast it was like his ass was on fire. And she says, oh shit. Okay. Go ahead, Johnny. What is the, what is the pig saying? He says, he says, get down on the ground, you fucking bastards.
Speaker: Although he, the, the TikTok, he says, get out of the, out of your black box. Hey, Kevin Holly, get the fuck off the podcast. Well, I did kind of walk into that and ask for that. You know what, you know, it's, you know, it's funny about that. Yeah. That same TikTok video. You saw it. No.
Speaker: No, no. So I'm in here and I'm watching American Horror Story. Cash comes in and of course I gotta pause it. Yeah, pop said that's not what he said.
Speaker: That's not what he said. No, I can't say what he said on podcast because I mean, it's not like we haven't said anything worse. I mean, I physically went after I went after an R at the end. Well, yeah, well, the TikTok video said something else. Um, but with neighbor, but not neighbor.
Speaker: Yeah. So I, you know, like I said, I'm sitting here and I'm, I'm watching American Horror Story, blah, blah, blah. And cash comes in and out all day long because you know, usually when they're here, I let them have the living room and they watch whatever they want. And I just watched TV on my bedroom. And he always runs in and he showed me TikTok videos. And he was like, you got to watch this video. It's funny, dad. And he's laughing when he walks in and I'm like, okay. And I'm kind of half -assed paying attention.
Speaker: And then all of a sudden it shows this kid going, get your black eyes out. And I'm like, Jesus Christ. Meanwhile, guys just laughing his ass off. And I'm like, oh, you don't even understand it, dude. It's just funny. Sit down little son. Let me tell you a story.
Speaker: But what are you doing, man? Watch your racist TikTok, you little prick. Yeah. Well, the little Johnny jokes. I've been around for decades, I'm sure. Yeah. But I remember telling little Johnny jokes in grade school in the eighties and getting in trouble for it by my teachers because I'm like,
Speaker: Get down on the ground, you fucking... What did you say? I'm like, it's a joke. And they're like, sure, it's a joke. I'll stick with that. As far as dirty comedians go, I'll stick with the dice man. Oh, yes. Dickery Dickery Duck.
Speaker: I dropped my goo, I dumped a bitch on the next block. Ooh. Ooh. Jack and Jill. I love dice, man. Jack and Jill, what up the hill? Both of them mucking up orders. Jack came down. His face still came down. Fuck 50. Too 50. That fucking whore. You know what's really funny?
Speaker: Joey fucking Diaz. Have you heard this? Oh, Joey, Joey Diaz is. He's really Coco. Yeah. Well, yeah. Motherfucker don't give a shit about nothing. I follow. I follow him on TikTok. But he's also the radio radio station. I listen to the bone out of Tampa. Right.
Speaker: He's a he's friends with the morning guy, but he's also really good friends with the midday guys there up in New York. So he's been on their on both shows several times. I love. Well, I love you. He's a constant.
Speaker: Uh person on joe rogan's podcast. Oh, yeah. Well, you know, he's he's one of the only reason I follow joey joe rogan on youtube is when joey fucking dia is there i'm like, oh shit everybody go away Yeah, why don't you just follow joey dia's podcast, too?
Speaker: Yeah, so why don't you just follow Joey Diaz? That dude's fucking hilarious. The funniest thing about Joey Diaz is people literally, he'll be telling you something, and he won't say, hey, Chris, no, Chris, you gotta listen. He'll say, Chris Glick, you gotta listen to this Chris Glick. That's how he does it. It's so funny. I was listening to Joe Rogan the other day, and he's like, Joe Rogan, you have no idea, Joe Rogan. And I'm like, calm down. We know who you're talking to.
Speaker: But the dude is funny, and he's done more drugs than any person on the planet. Keith Richards is like, damn. That dude apparently did a shit ton of coke back in the day. Oh my God, he's funny. Fucking hell. I'm getting COVID, I swear to God. I'm not that lucky. I literally...
Speaker: I'm like the only person on the planet that wants to get COVID, so I can be like, fuck this. I got this shit. Give me a cigarette. Oh, okay. That'll work out pretty well for you. Well, I've maintained the same thing I've maintained since I'm 15. I'm waiting to die. I don't give a fuck anymore.
Speaker: Well, that escalated quickly. It took a turn for the, for, for, I've always been that dark where I'm like, Oh, fucking. If I go, I go. What are you going to do? Well, I mean, being a white guy in Mexico, I mean, it's all, uh, until I got married, I always, I always said.
Speaker: If I go tomorrow, nobody's going to fucking notice. Now I can't say that because there's three feet in the house that would actually notice a dead body. As I said earlier, until the first time your wife went to go take a crap and she needs you to wipe her ass. Sitting on the toilet with my phone in my hand, still looking up porn.
Speaker: Um, yeah. Well, you say that, but me being like, you know, living, living by myself and not really having any friends or anything like that in real life, it'd be a couple of days before anybody realized. That's the one thing I feared for you brother, because I mean, uh, Summer would, Summer would probably notice because she wouldn't get her, her nightly talk to.
Speaker: You wouldn't be answering my fucking messages but physical people beside your kids nobody would notice Yeah And I you know in the way that I have my kids, you know with with the custody or with the shirt custody and stuff like it. Yeah Well, like what the hell is that?
Speaker: I'm like, well, it's fucking prank. Well, piece of shit. All of a sudden now after three years, you know, he hasn't, he's been a good, good dad doing everything good. And now he's, now he's going to be a asshole. I don't think she would do that, but she, she would more than likely know something was wrong too. If I didn't show up to pick up the kids or something like that, but, but still, you know, I'll be looking at it a couple of days, just kind of hanging out there. If I was single.
Speaker: and lived alone and everything. I think the first people that would notice was the people at the store I go to every morning for my cigarettes. Where's the white guy that shows up for cigarettes and Coke every morning? Where's the gringo at? Well, it's good looking. Calm down. Calm down, man. That's why I said no whenever.
Speaker: You're like, you're like the poster child for what a creepy, it's just get up and just leave. But he's like the epitome for like, if you look up creeper in the dictionary, it's a picture of Jeff. If there was a poster on a billboard on the side of the road, watch out for this creeper. Watch out for this weirdo. It would be Jeff. Nothing against him. He just has that look.
Speaker: and it doesn't help matters. Nothing. I yell at him all the time when we're, we're messaging back and forth because he'll start talking and all of a sudden I'll be like, yeah, daddy says, oh, I'm going to fix a closet. I'm like, what the fuck? Why do you do that weird fucking creepy ass voice? But I don't know why he got up and walked away. I mean, if you could have held on for another minute or two, we're going to
Speaker: We're coming up on another break little breakers. Welcome back pretty girl. You okay? How much The hell did you go dude, I tell you I didn't go fry some chicken I'm so zipping up my pants and while getting on camera and I was like, oh better do this first
Speaker: plan. Why is he playing with his dick? Well, I mean, wouldn't it was not like it would be something that would surprise anybody if you just started playing with your fucking soul. He's on the phone.
Speaker: Um, no, I was just making fun of you for being a creeper looking like a creeper and sounding like a creeper. Basically saying that if you looked up a creeper in the dictionary or if somebody was to put up a billboard that said, look out for this guy, it'd be a picture of you. Cause dude, you look so, so fucking creepy and that goddamn safety days video that you did.
Speaker: I know, right? I was trying to do my best robot, but I suck at it. I can't dance. I've never claimed that I can dance. That is the only dancing I've done on TikTok. You say you can't sing either, but we got you to sing. That's on TikTok and Twitter and Facebook and Instagram.
Speaker: that's okay these days I'm Justin Bieber fucking things because of my singing abilities well I wouldn't hold my breath but yeah well you know because the mic I was using at the time which is this one
Speaker: According to you, picks up fucking everything. And I cranked up the fucking TV so you would get more of Bush than you would me. And what happens? You hear no Bush. Just me. Well, you know, like I said, that's on you. It's not me. That's not a me problem. That's the you problem. And I don't know why you is is
Speaker: the chances of people seeing it but people have seen it all of all five of them how many views have that video gotten on tick tock in all seriousness i don't know well i can post it on my tick tock i'll post it on my tick tock date on my personal basis well again
Speaker: It's gotten about 200 views. There you go. Your singing got more views than Rocky's singing. There you go. Yeah, but that's something else. But I mean, like I said, as far as Justin Bieber famous, I wouldn't hold my breath.
Speaker: that's not gonna happen. I mean or or I mean or or you can't hold your breath because you said you as you said a few minutes ago you you I am I am casually waiting for death you know and I die I I don't even care what it is uh I'm gonna go cut myself and say I die when I do die that'll be one thing that
Speaker: Have you seen the uh, there's a video i'm gonna outlive you yeah this guy uh on his death bed he he said he recorded Into a like pre -recorded Audio that played in a loop while they were burying his body
Speaker: That's like help save me i'm trapped. Oh, that's awesome. That's awesome. I was like i'm so doing that Well, you're well, maybe your summer so she's not ready to die so you shouldn't be I didn't say I was ready to die jeff said it
Speaker: Um, you're the one that tells me every day you're dying. Yeah. Jeff said he was, I am purposely going to outlive you just so I can play the audio of you singing Bush at your funeral. Everybody's going to be all sad and well, yeah. And I'm going to walk up there with a show.
Speaker: I'm going to walk up there with a Budweiser in my hand. I've already drank 2325. He's in the back holding a pony. I get a podcast with this motherfucker. Listen to this. I'm going to pull up. I'm going to do the old, uh, what was that movie from back in the day? Uh,
Speaker: Deadpool did it. Deadpool did it when he was trying to get Colossus to come back in Deadpool 2. I'm going to hold up a boom box with you singing. Set up a thing so you're actually in the rain. Set up a rain cloud.
Speaker: I'm going to have a shower. I'm going to play that. And everybody's going to be like, who invited this asshole? My wife sitting over the corner going, what a dude. That's his first wife.
Speaker: Everybody's like, who is that guy? And she's like, I have no fucking clue. I think he works at the funeral home. Somebody's like, when are you on the podcast with Jeff? And I'm like, ah. Hey, you know who we are? The fucking watchers. Yeah.
Speaker: Hey, don't worry, just because he's dead, the podcast didn't end. I'll just be silent the whole time. It's just me on video. I'm just going to have a picture of you. I'm just going to have a picture. I'm going to put a camera in your coffin so we can still go. Yeah, I want a camera in my coffin just like Jesse James style.
Speaker: some people can come from miles around and see video. They'll be able to turn on the screen for 30 seconds. It's just me. I'm still here, fuckers. I mean, in all honesty, I'm pretty sure I can pull enough. I can pull enough video just to just to make a video of you dead staring at the camera for no fucking reason.
Speaker: Wait a minute. We thought Jeff died three weeks ago. Oh, well, maybe he did, man. Yeah, maybe he did. This whole video, I've mangled together to make it look like we're still having a conversation. Everything I have is pre -scripted. Yeah. Kind of like how they take certain words from audio from presidents and do songs and stuff. And this is the most amazing podcast. I've missed this thing.
Speaker: Well, we'll get at least one good sound bite out of it. You'll still be able to do your email. Follow us on social media. Which even after you die, we still won't be getting any emails on our email. Why hasn't anyone emailed me yet?
Speaker: Yeah. What's his name? Uh, uh, what was it built? No, not Bill Gates. It was Bill Gates, Steve Jobs. One of those two. Oh my God. Chatter's box. Help me out. What's the guy's name? It's not Steve Jobs and Bill Gates. Um, Scott said he's on a short line. What's pops is on a short line. Oh, fuck. Maybe I know we got a lot of life to live together.
Speaker: and I am looking forward to it. What? You wrote a book. Oh, short line. Why is Pops on a short line? A short line for what? Short leash. Oh, for the day. I was going to say, I wouldn't say much there, pal. You're on a short leash and a shock collar over there, so. No. No. Steven Hawkins. Ah, Steven Hawkins.
Speaker: I knew I was gonna say. Basically, same fucking person. Yeah. Jobs, Gates, Hawkins. Speaking of jobs, I've watched the jobs movie with Ashton Kushner. Of course she did. I still think - No, I have not watched it. My experience of Silicon Valley is way better. Well, on that note. On that note, I do have to get going. I have to go pick these crazy women up from the - No, you don't. They're fine.
Speaker: If I plan to get any tonight and tomorrow. Yeah. Well, they're fine. Don't take a fucking cab. Be a man. Did you start following that guy yet? Yeah. Can't fix something. Throw a wrench across the room. Yeah. I saw that one today and I was like, no.
Speaker: Okay, we haven't gotten and or heard. You're fine. You can't because my WhatsApp doesn't work anymore. I have to get a new phone number. No, I have to get a new phone number because it hasn't been active so long that the cell company gave away my number. I have to get a new SIM card. So the only thing I have is... So I don't use WhatsApp. Well, you know what? I'm going to ask you that when we come back after this break.
Speaker: I have to go. You don't have to go. Yeah, I do. I'm actually going to sign off. I have to go. They're fine. Ladies and gentlemen, Jeff is a giant pussy. Yes, I am. And I have to go. If I want to get any, I'm now that I got all the kids to bed. Finally, I'm going to actually head out. If you want to go ahead and finish up, I'll see you on Wednesdays, folks.
Speaker: Get out of here. Call me names. I'm killing your camera. I'm uninviting you. I'm inviting me. Go, go do what you gotta do. I haven't even drank today. Yeah, I know. Because you're a bitch. Wednesday, I will finish the bottle. Okay. But yeah, I gotta go. Okay, we'll go. All right, bye bye. Later.
Speaker: Noises. I'm fighting here. You guys just saying I'm I'm. Really fighting years. Just getting. But really.
Speaker: And here come the connection issues. Awesome. So Jeff had to go abruptly, as per usual. I appreciate you all in the chatters box. If you guys want to hang out some more, let me know. While I'm doing this, we'll come back and do some
Speaker: After show, of course it's breaking up. It always fucking breaks up. But, um, we can do a little after show. Um, a few more, a few more, a few more, bear strength. But thank you guys for hanging out. Thank you guys for, uh, listening. Hopefully you enjoyed the show. If you're not already, feel free to check us out on social media. And, uh,
Speaker: Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, and now we're on Twitch at Nonsense Monastics. Also, if you want to check out all the episodes of this podcast, check us out on Spotify, Apple, Google Play, anywhere you get your podcast needs from. And if you want to email us for a potential guest and or promotional
Speaker: uh concerns give us a holler at uh nonsensical nonsense and nonsensical nonsense podcast at gmail .com jesus christ my floor is completely all fucked up here but uh we got to try it out guys much love and we will see you all wednesday we're gonna go ahead and close this out for a little bit
Speaker: No, please. But just call on me and tell me that he doesn't have to leave. Just let me go back to the other side. Let's roll! Alright. Alrighty!
Speaker: I trade this cloud for a hurricane Within an hour from water to wash away A flood to drown the ground It's falling out from underneath From underneath
Speaker: Faced with all my regrets I cleaned everything I've got And there's a feeling I have within Your tendencies will become mine
Speaker: And reach and tone the sky for rain And black and white and shades of gray I know the pain it comes in and waves And then you crumble underneath the waves
Speaker: I'm holding on the long day to long A callous soul turned from sea to stone The rixens etched into the wall Into a place we never left at all
Speaker: Reaching toward the sky parade Back in white and shades of gray I know the pain it comes in her ways And then you crawl below underneath the way And then you crawl
Speaker: And just kidding
Speaker: Apparently, Jeff does not have to leave. So, maybe. I'll just send this and restart it. You know what I mean?
Speaker: It's already set. We might have to, we might have to restart it because of course the connection to Twitter has failed for the following account, Jeff and Deanna or whatever. Okay. That's weird.
Speaker: Yeah. We might still be, we might still be breaking up. I might have to just end it just altogether. Cause of course, as soon as you left the audio, I went to shit and I did the, I did the whole, I did the whole, I didn't even hit anything. You, you kicked me out before I, I don't know if you can hear me. I was really far away. Yeah. Cause I was tired of your bullshit. That's how do you act like a little bitch? Yeah. Well.
Speaker: So I kicked you out. But you know what? We might still go ahead and end it. End it. And just if you want to come back on and do, yeah, do a little after show shenanigans, which can be like little bonus content. Just get your Bacardi, man. I already poured me a drink. I'm ready to go. Yeah. I literally got off and I looked at my phone to check the time. And there was a message for my wife saying, hey, don't come. And I was like, mother fuck.
Speaker: I know. Cause like, as soon as I, as soon as I uninvited you, uh, I got a message, I got a voice message, a text message. And then you started calling me, which was throwing me completely off of my rhythm. And I'm like, God damn it, Jeff. I'm, I broke up with you for the night. Leave me alone. And then I listened to it. It was like, okay, I'm on breaking up with you.
Speaker: Are we still live or no? Are we live? No, we're live. Yeah, we're live. Oh, shit. Yeah, I just continued a little. I'm waiting in front of live to show up. Can I actually sit up? Yeah, no, I just continued our previous live because. What the fuck am I talking about? Yeah, no, I am. Okay, yeah. Well, because I figured out how to add videos and music and this and the other thing, I just played a blacktop mojo song to end the show.
Speaker: I was going to make you in a chat. Bring me back, bitch. My phone was sideways, so it wouldn't let me. I was like, oh, fuck this. But, um, no, so, but yeah, let's go ahead. Let's go ahead and actually wrap it up for real. Yeah. And then we'll do it. Yeah.
Speaker: Uh, it turns out is couldn't hear me or couldn't hear me. Uh, my wife literally sent me a message while we were still alive and I never got the notification said, Hey, don't come. And I didn't read it until I was off and I was like, God damn it. I should literally read messages before I jump off the podcast. Yeah, exactly. Well, we'll, we'll go ahead.
Speaker: I don't know. I didn't, I did the outro already, but, um, you know, then we came back for a few more minutes and we're bullshitting. So people, people that are listening are going to be like, ah, well, we'll listen to Blacktop Mojo because they like Blacktop Mojo way more than they like us. And then they're going to, then all of a sudden it's going to be like, what the fuck? They lied to us, these assholes. But here's the thing.
Speaker: It's Saturday night. It's, it's, it's, we do the show Wednesday and Saturday and Saturday nights we, we, uh, we typically, uh, you know, we get a little, we get a little rambunctious. So, uh, we're going to go ahead and in the actual podcast, uh, maybe I can get through this without sounding like an asshole this time. Yeah, man, you should have gotten more, but still. Well, I'm not a heavy drinker and, and I can't remember the last time I drank fucking rum.
Speaker: Now it's fine. What the fuck are you doing back here? Pops wants to know what the fuck you're doing back on here. We'll ask him when we come back. We'll be right back for it. We will be. We'll be right back for the after show, which is pretty much the same thing as that. Wow, that's strong. But Jesus Christ. Jeff, you hear what I'm doing right now. Stop distracting me. Sorry, I had to start my drink. All the rum was right on top. It's like a big old shallow rum.
Speaker: Yeah, no, we're gonna this is this is the for real the for real close out this time because Jeff's Jeff's boss told him that he did not have to come get her and and I prematurely much like Jeff prematurely ejaculates close the show and takes him out and broke up with him. But we're back together folks. Everything's fine.
Speaker: The honeymoon phase broke into the real relationship. Excuse me while I die. We are in a very toxic relationship.
Speaker: by choice, obviously. Yeah, clearly. But on that note, thank you guys for listening. Thank you guys for hanging out. Sorry for the tease. If you're not already, check us out on social media, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, and now Twitch, all at nonsensical nonsense. Same thing goes for the podcast. If you want to hear every episode of this podcast, if you like what you hear, if you like listening to us act like assholes and ramble on incoherently for hours at a time,
Speaker: Well, you can find 35 episodes as of right now on Spotify, Google, Apple, and anywhere you get your podcast jollies. And not that if you want to reach out to us, God damn it. Not that anybody ever does, but no.
Speaker: On the off chance, you wanna be like, you suck, or if you wanna be like that troll that we had last Saturday? Yeah, as I was gonna say before Jeff further directed me, if you wanna reach out to us on the email for potential guests, if you wanna be a guest on the show, or if you know of any guests that would like to be on the show, we do take, we are looking at getting guests on the show, whether it be musicians, actors, comedians, maybe other podcast hosts, maybe other podcast hosts.
Speaker: That's a well, I haven't discussed that with you. We'll bring that up in the after show. Yeah. Go ahead. Feel free to email us again. That's it. What's our email buddy? Can you get not to podcast at gmail .com? Sorry. Let's put a bottle of rum in my glass and we will see you here in a few minutes, but we will see you next week Wednesday.
Speaker: regular scheduled same non -sensical channel same nonsensical time thanks for listening chatter's box thanks for being awesome as always we are officially out of here join us for the after show right now he said deuces that means i gotta figure out how to turn this motherfucking thing off
Speaker: Yeah. 36 episodes in. I still don't know how to end the broadcast. I'm pretty sure by episode 100, you'll have it down. I was going to say something. I had a really smart ass comment and now I lost it. Anyways, we out of here. I've done my job.
Speaker: we're gonna we're gonna make like a we're gonna make we're gonna make like a banana and leaf Wow
Speaker: Will you die in there tonight? Take this fleet that we set up here upon And set it all alight Burn the ships and watch them all sink in
Speaker: Where there's no voyage home, there's no turning round So as you're looking to your enemy's eyes Know you want your respect
Speaker: As the chance draws near Burning steel are all we know The time for glory is here Burn your ships and watch them all sink in
Speaker: No, you won't
Speaker: And watch them all sink down And there's no boy at home, there's no turning red So watch you look into your enemy's eyes And know you won't chase them
Speaker: Fire!
