Transcript
Speaker: That's it.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: What is going on, everybody? Welcome. Oh, God. Welcome to Nausical Nonsense. Hello. Don't mind me. I'm just just being a Tasmanian devil over here knocking everything off my fucking teeth.
Speaker: I was trying to readjust my microphone and then I just decided to just knock everything off the side of my dressing. But anyways, what's going on guys? Hopefully y 'all having a good week so far. Welcome to Nonsense Golden Nonsense. I'm Glick. Hanging out with Jeffrey as always. We got the poop -tastic one. The big dog himself decided
Speaker: Five minutes before the show, he had to go take a shit and showed up late, but he's here. Maybe he's here. We got those delays going on with him. What's going on with you, Jeffrey? How you doing, man? Well, yesterday was the most interesting day ever. My wife, I sent you a message about it. My wife broke her ankle. Yeah. And you never like said anything more about it. You're just like,
Speaker: Well, that's because I literally spent 12 hours at the fucking hospital for them to put a fucking ace bandage on her. Why did you spend 12 hours at the hospital? Because it's a government -run hospital through her insurance. And anybody that's ever been in the military knows it's a lot of hurry up and wait.
Speaker: Hurry up, get over there. Okay, wait for 20 minutes till we call you. And it was the biggest shit show ever, but right now, they basically put it, eventually, after the whole ordeal, they basically put an ace bandage on her and said, if it's still hurting a couple days, come back and we'll put a cast on it.
Speaker: Because I've seen the x -ray, and I don't see any breaks. No, I'm no medical professional. As I say, did you go become a doctor in the last few days since the podcast started? I mean, we've all seen x -rays, at least in TV shows. You can tell when there's a fucking break.
Speaker: I've had enough breaks. I know what a break is. Yeah, exactly. I mean, they're visible. They're uncannily noticeable. And I don't see any breaks or cracks or anything. And the doctor wants to get up. They wouldn't let me in because, God forbid. And what we're assuming is it's a torn tendon.
Speaker: because basically she was coming out of the gym and she stepped, this is what's funny, she went to the gym and her and her friend were coming out and on the stairs was a rock and she stepped on the rock and basically rolled her ankle. Ah, gotcha. Well there he is, nice of you to join us there sir. Did you wash your hands? That was your shit. Do you wipe front to back or back to front? That is a very good question.
Speaker: I decide. I think I'm doing it wrong. I literally go out in the front yard and grab the hose. What's going on Mark? Mark says both. Mark says he goes both ways. But I do have a quick announcement. My wife and I got an argument this morning. So I'm mad at her so I'm just going to go with an X rated photo. Are you ready?
Speaker: It's an x -ray. X -rated. Haha. Very bad pun, but yes. This is terrible. God damn you, Kevin Hawley. I know. That was the exact thing I thought I saw. I was like, ooh, I'm going to show an x -rated photo. This spotlight of the show has been brought to you by The Dad Joke. Fuck you, Dad Joke. Exactly. Moving on. Anyways, big dog, how you doing, man? You feel better after your shit?
Speaker: 10 pounds lighter that we just put your business all out there while you were late for the show. So you were, I wasn't like taking a bail there. I just was unable. I heard Mr. Fantastic himself. I heard it all. That's okay. It's just unable to hit the button in the three minutes. Well, if you guys aren't already,
Speaker: Go ahead and check out the social media at Nonsenseical Nonsense on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and the Tiki Taki.
Speaker: And then you guys, as you know, you can join us live every week. Join us live every week right here on HAPS on Wednesdays and Saturdays. And you can always get all of the episodes of the podcast on Anchor, Spotify, Google Play, Apple Podcasts. Anchor or Spotify seems to be the hotspot where everybody likes to go to. That's where I go, Clay. That's where I go every time. Well, that's where I go. I can't even watch it on YouTube. I can't even watch it on YouTube. Just look how stupid we look.
Speaker: Yeah, I listened to it on Spotify. April, if you're listening, this is exactly what I was talking about. April is one of my clients. I was speaking to her today, and we got no conversation about the podcast. I basically said, I'm available anytime except for Wednesdays and Saturdays. On Wednesday, I stopped at 6.
Speaker: And Saturday as I stop at eight, she's like. No, they're not live on Spotify, Becca. I said, why? She says, I said, well, that's when we do our podcast. And she's like, I wasn't about. And I was like, well. My comments are lagging really bad. And the last thing I see is Mark's comment. So I don't know if I'm late. Oh, no, because Becca is on Facebook. So yeah. When I actually when I actually get to see the comments on Facebook. Yeah, we both.
Speaker: They don't always, they don't always show up because I still throw this out onto other platforms. Um, even though we're trying to direct everybody to Haps. Haps, I understand Haps is not the easiest thing to use in the world, but it hasn't, you know, it's not too bad. Um, well, it's not as bad as Nike.
Speaker: Like he was was pretty terrible platform to work on all those all those like like II and Bigo and Livestar and or whatever all those others are fucking horrible Yeah, they don't they you know, they don't work worth the damn half the time And then they're so overpopulated with with bots and fake accounts that you know, it's terrible It's it's it's horrendous
Speaker: Oh, just real quick. I just want to touch on this real quick, since I can never get the two of you at the same time, except when we're live. Just touching on it. Just a little. So we don't need to go into too much discussion. If you guys can create a couple designs and send them to the email. Thank you, Mark. Thank you, Mark. Send them to the email. I started to work on the Teespring store again.
Speaker: Okay. So thank you, Mark. Geez Louise. Thank you, man. I got a kid. So I deleted everything that we had done. He's falling asleep on the button. Just so you know. That's all right. That's money. Keep falling asleep. I got to break out the ark pad and really put my money where my mouth is. Well, nothing too crazy. Nothing too elaborate. Because it's not Teespring. If you look at Teespring, it's not very
Speaker: What's the word for it? It's like, it's a very rudimentary. Yeah, it's very, you know, like I said, words, words, not pictures. Words, small pictures, this, that and the other thing. I deleted everything that we had created before, Jeff. So now everything's a fresh start. But yeah, I just want to bring that up real quick. Just put that in your guys' ears. If you have logo designs, things on your phone or whatever, and you make something, shoot it over.
Speaker: on the e -mail that way I can save it on the laptop and possibly use it. Right now it's just like famous quotes by famous individuals and it will be like later motherfucker
Speaker: First of all, it's my tree We gotta do one that says I want one that I want to do when this is old shit. Shut up. I
Speaker: But anyways, like I said, I didn't want to, I didn't want to get into a crazy intense conversation about it. I just wanted to bring it up to you guys. Two of them fought for this podcast at the same time. Yeah. Well, Mike and I finally got connected where we were able to talk to each other today. I did create that group on messenger. I saw that. I used it. No, but it's like Mike and I have been playing phone tag for the past two weeks about, about, uh,
Speaker: making him a little cash, and we finally got to have the conversation today, so. Your pyramid Ponzi scheme. Oh my God. Did you see what I'm saying? Mike, this is exactly what I was talking about. Well, we just spent five minutes in Glick talking behind your back. This is while we were doing your stuff. In Glick's defense, I mean, I actually invested money in a city group when they were a pyramid scheme. Right.
Speaker: you know, my parents did naked and they did Tupperware. They did, you know, you know, my parents were, my parents were very crafty. They decided that when they needed something like that, they would become sellers of it so they can get incredible discounts and then they'll move on. Yeah. So yeah. Well, Jeff, Jeff seems to forget that I've learned about 25 years and I've heard,
Speaker: all of his crazy money, quick money making schemes over the years. He called me one time. I hadn't talked to the guy in like five years. He called me one day and he's like, Hey, no, my property here in Mexico. And I'm like, Oh, why? He's like, we'll be millionaires in, in like six months. I'm actually buying said property. I'm actually buying some property this year. Well, well, like I said, you know, and that's what I told, that's what I told.
Speaker: That's what I told Jeff, is if it's good, if it's good for it, the money will come in, and if the money comes in, then we can make fun of Click. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Well, we're sitting in our Lamborghinis to the podcast. We're going to make fun of you anyways, but it's just extra fun. Do you make fun of me all you want? I'll just fire you.
Speaker: and get two new co -hosts and then when I signed my $300 million contract with Spotify and I laugh at Joe Rogan and then hire you and it'll be finally fair. We'll hire you. We'll still call it nonsensical nonsense and everything. Nothing will change. We'll pay you to show up. Yeah, we'll just pay you to show up.
Speaker: That's about all you get out of jail assholes. There won't even be cars. There'll be spaceships and that's going to suck. Oh my God. I don't want to hear any comments about how warm it is over there because the temperature went from 40 degrees to negative two.
Speaker: today. So with with I uh I went I came out from work came off from break at work and went to my boss and I said I am tired of all the motherfucking disrespect around here and he goes who disrespected you I said
Speaker: Damn it, when I was going back in from break, the wind just disrespected my shit. I'm getting sick and fucking tired of it. He's like, well, we'll go to HR. He said, I'm sick of these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking place. Yeah. Well, with that being said, let's go ahead and get into the meat and potatoes.
Speaker: the meat and potatoes, the potatoes. Cause we had a barn. We had a balance that we get this week. We, we had a barn burner this week and I'm actually, um, because I'm just going to say this, Mike, your list of incomplete dog shit and your little Thursdays on Tik TOK that vote for you just because it's you, I'm going to stop counting their votes.
Speaker: Just so you know. Why? Why? Because what happened? Two lists in a row have been absolute dog shit. And they're like, Mike, Mike, Mike, but don't worry about it. We had a barn burner. This one. This was a good one. This was the closest. This this was the closest one out of all of them. Oh, really? So really? Yeah. Well, boys, so two of us find five for the first movies with big actors.
Speaker: I have Chris Had, Rocky Horror Picture Show with Tim Curry. Thanks for playing with Sam Jackson. Batman Forever.
Speaker: uh... darshan jesus christ with mattington just to michael cain michael had movie forty three uh... with jarard butler uh... charlie tuck back to jonnie depp i agree with pan with you jack but i didn't see the poster for uh... the dark tower of matt mcconaughey and robin hood with jamie fox i tried to watch today couldn't it i had people about to do that right i had
Speaker: No, I was gonna walk don't call my friends thirsty by the way click it was a I Did the site will and they all pay and I was like Betty Betty Betty for you like
Speaker: I don't even know if she voted for it. I had Battlefield Earth with John Gravolta, Royal Tannenbaums with Ben Stiller, Bonfire the Vanities with Tom Hanks, Gigi Lee with Ben Affleck, and Lady Killers with Tom Hanks. And for our honorable mention, we had Tony with Virtuosity with Denzel Washington, No Holds Bar with Hulk Hogan, Dark Tide with Halle Berry, and The Crying Game with Forest Whitaker. Which, Tony had a really good list. Tony didn't get a single hook.
Speaker: Seriously? Yeah. Not woken up. I wonder if it was because we couldn't hear him. Even though the list was out there, he wasn't able to sell it. I don't know. Possibly. But there was a tie between two people. Yes. Two people received seven votes. I'm predicting Jeff wins.
Speaker: And the two people that received the seven votes were Michael and Jeffrey. And that means that once again, I'm back on my road.
Speaker: With eight votes I'm gonna tell you what I had I had one vote and I posted on snapchat and the votes started coming in and it was Jeff Jeff Jeff I'm like fuck Jeff's gonna take this and then And then all of a sudden they started swinging by way and I was looking at it I was like tally and everything and I'm like we got a fucking three -way tie. Holy shit
Speaker: I went to Spotify to the poll. I agree with you, Mark. And there was one vote, once again, on the poll. And it was for me. That was the time breaker. And I was like, holy shit. Well, you know, Michael, you're going to need to come. You're going to have to come up with five record scenarios since we're that close. We are. We are going to have to do something. But I actually thought, well, see, I don't know.
Speaker: putting the list on your personal Snapchat. You know, you gave me a bunch of shit saying that I was out, that I was out, you know. I put the list on my personal Snapchat. Putting it out and making people vote for me. Yeah. I didn't, I didn't vote for it. He says he put it up there for, and asking for votes, he puts up there and asks for votes in general. My personal, my personal Snapchat, when I posted my stories, nine times out of 10, it's podcast related.
Speaker: Oh yeah. So I post like when we're going to go live stuff like that. I just, if, if I could, I would create a Snapchat account for the nonsensical nonsense, but I don't want to have to log in and out of two accounts every time. So a lot of my stories are, are, and you know, like, I think Jeff puts a list on his Facebook page. I put it on my Facebook page outside of our personal one. I will say that once again, Michael, my parents voted for you yet again.
Speaker: Oh, no, I am. No, Joe voted for me. Scott voted for Joe on Facebook. No way. Yeah. Wait. Yeah. Maybe one voted for you. I voted for I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know Scott voted for me because he's got Jeff on this. I will. You remember baby cakes, Kayla? What? Yes. Yeah. She voted for Jeff. I see. Yeah. I see that. Yeah. She had she had a conversation with me. She told me. So I asked her after she voted, she was like,
Speaker: But she wanted to know what was going on. And she messaged me. She messaged me. She wanted to know what the vote was about. So I told her what it was about. And she's like, OK. Well, I want you to know that I didn't vote for you. She's like, I want you to know that I didn't vote for you. I said, OK. But can I ask a question? She said, what? I said, well, I asked her who she voted for. She said, Jeff. And I said, can I ask you why?
Speaker: Because movie 43 is a fucking amazing movie. No, you want to know what she told me, why she didn't vote for me? I'm curious. It was Johnny Depp and Charlie and Chocolate Factory. I told you. It was a bad movie. It was a bad movie. You know what? Because we had that conversation, I went and I don't know. I guess that our influence at nonsensical nonsense
Speaker: creates directives for even Netflix because now both Charlie and the Chocolate Factory versions are on Netflix. So I went and watched because of us, because of us, Netflix is now putting both chocolate factories on there. So I went and I forced myself to watch the entire movie.
Speaker: of Johnny Depp's version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and I will still stay this. That movie fucking sucked. It had elements that the original didn't have that were okay, but all the elements that I adored and loved in the original were gone. And the coloring was what the fuck was it? It was too bright. Too dull. Too dull, too weird, too eh.
Speaker: Anyways, but yeah, yeah charlie and the choco factory is what anyways I'm actually surprised the rightful king is back on his throne. Well, well i'm telling you right now if If that list ever goes too public as it goes viral chris is going to end up murdered because as we discussed the the Fucking tim curry movie that he picked
Speaker: I know, I can't believe that he didn't. You're on a list somewhere, where somebody's like, that's why I can't see, that's why ever. But, when I got to see on Facebook, that I didn't get the votes, I can't remember if they voted for you Jeff or Mike, but my uncle had voted and he said even though yes, Rocky Horror is a terrible fucking movie, so I'm not the only one who thinks that one.
Speaker: Oh no, I agree. It's a terrible movie, but it's, it's like, that's a good way to get yourself killed. I don't care. I, I, I will have a cold class. I'm like, I'm like some people believe it or not. Cam, I didn't even think about buying belt because when I do win, I will show these gentlemen what real humility looks like. Oh, you're going to move us. Are you going to move us? Is that what you're going to do? No, I'm going to say excellent. I win moving on.
Speaker: Moving on, what is next week's list? Next week's list? I thought about this. I thought about this. And I have one. And the ones I have on my internet. I created like 400 things up. What? Mark Jeff needs to win.
Speaker: I thought Jeff was going to get it this week. It was a movie. I thought he had it. I thought he had it. And when the votes started coming in on Snapchat, I was like, oh, shit. Because I think I was literally sitting on my door, Kevin. I think I was literally sitting with two votes. I'm going to be honest with you, Mark. Glick's List sucked. So he sucked somebody off the wind.
Speaker: But, you know, Jeff... I feel like Jeff is a better list. What? You're gonna have to wait. You can't wait. You know. That's... That's... Okay, so... I... Today's the new... I wanted you to get off movies and songs because we've done a lot of those. Yes. So I'm doing... I'm doing... Snacks. Top five snacks.
Speaker: you would have during America. Let's say you're gonna watch the entire, I don't fucking know, I'm a Lord of the Rings. Anyway, you need snacks. So, a popcorn, uh. We're gonna watch. All right, all right, so snacks we'd watch, Lord of the Rings. Could a rope be part of it? No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, well, I'm saying, if you're gonna watch a set of movies that are extremely long and long and stupid,
Speaker: and you need snacks. It's just whatever snack, whatever snacks you would want. You're not going to show up here Saturday and go, Oh, by the way, I have a question, grand master of the list, Jeff. I will question grand master of the list, Jeff. So the loser goes first, but you and me are tied. How is that going to work? Yeah, I am the manager. We're going to do coin toss for that. Okay.
Speaker: I say that Jeff should go first. I say that's my vote is Jeff goes first because I've won already. Yeah. Pick a number between one and 10, Michael. 69. Well, now that we're back in the seventh grade and Michael's 12 and he thinks he's funny because he said 69. 420 numbers were between one and 10.
Speaker: Okay, Jeffery, you draft first because I just can't deal with Michael tonight. I wanna say seven. Seven. Well, it doesn't matter what you say because he said 69, so you're gonna be the close. I'm gonna win. Anyways, so it is snacks. It is top five snacks as in
Speaker: whether it be popcorn or, and specific snacks. You can't just say chips. You gotta say like, like brand and stuff like that. So it's our, it's our top five favorite snacks.
Speaker: Now, is that limited to candy bars? Or do you? No, no, no, no. That is snacks. I'm not saying you order DoorDash or something. I'm saying snacks. Well, I can order candy bars with DoorDash. Well, you know what I mean, though. I mean, I'm not saying McDonald's is not a snack. No, I don't know what you mean. I need you to explain it. So, chips, popcorn. These are just examples. Candy. Candy bars, Skittles.
Speaker: Okay. Almond Joy or whatever, you know, so it's sometimes you feel like a mess and sometimes you don't. Almond Joy. This could be a pretty good list. Mounds don't. We all know Michael. We are. We already know Michael's going to go to www .top.
Speaker: Snacks of all time list I think I fucking have the snacks in the bag You can't just say Skittles either you have to define your Skittles, so is it regular or is it the new the rainbow the fruity?
Speaker: Yeah, the sour, thank you. Sour. Yeah, there's like tropical berry, wild berry. Thank you, sour. Yeah, exactly. So you gotta be specific. So if you want, you know, when you say Snickers, is it the bite size or is it a full bar?
Speaker: So be specific. If I say snickers, I have to specify between a king size or a regular snickers. Regular snickers are the bite size. I am not four.
Speaker: Mike's lot. A regular Snickers is not the little bite size ones that you get on Halloween. A regular Snickers is a regular Snickers bar. Right. But this does not include like you make Snickerdoodles or you make homemade cookies. I'm talking about you went to the store and bought cookies.
Speaker: Not like your mom made you cookies and then you eat them fresh out of the oven. I'm talking about, I went and bought Chips Ahoy. Store bought snacks. Store bought snacks. Store bought snacks and candies. Okay, fair enough. Fair enough. And I will not include, they have to be something that we can all buy. So like, I can't say Damarito. What's up DJ?
Speaker: Shout out shout out as I do what I want. You guys can't get Tamarindo candy so that that limits me But does not limit you I can't put in Mexican candies that you guys can't buy because they don't have them available to you. I
Speaker: Well, I mean, if you want to put in Mexican candies, I think you're only hurting yourself because, you know, the, if you, if you want to go for it, but I don't think it's going to benefit you any because most people that listen to the show may not know what the hell you're talking about. So, okay. So our top five favorite snacks. Yes.
Speaker: while watching a movie or whatever. Comprende. What if I'm just laying around being a fat slob? Well, the two. Same difference. Can a person be my favorite snack? I actually thought that is... I actually have a list that I want to do as top five things to do with a significant other. Oh. Can we do that one instead? No, that one's... I'm saving for... I'm saving for Hollywood... for February.
Speaker: I was listening to the the episode where today where we did the the top ten for the Pornhub year in review. Oh, yeah
Speaker: Y 'all some cringy ass motherfuckers. And you fucking need Jesus in your life. Just so you know, both of y 'all should. Need fucking Jesus in your life. What did I get? Because we were sitting there talking about, oh yeah, that's cool. Yeah, you were saying, oh yeah, that's cool. I was like, god damn y 'all. Click. Click. I'm going to tell you like I told my pastor.
Speaker: when my wife went to my pastor playing how I was watching porn. And I told my pastor, it's like, look, I could either fuck the neighbor down the street or watch porn. That's what I did. So I'm sorry that it's cringy. I am a single man. I am a single man. I don't go to bars and get gonorrhea.
Speaker: I don't knock up crack heads down the street. I jerk off. It's what I do. Sorry. As I told my wife on the podcast, I said, would you rather Chris and I meet up and go to the bar for four hours or me being in the house talking with Chris?
Speaker: You're gonna have to get strong if you and I go to the bar together. You're gonna have to carry my drunk asshole. Just get a witch like one of the toe witches and drag me up into the bed of the truck. The man, the man, the legend, the almighty flick, there are, there are
Speaker: stories, myths, and legends about what that man has done on pool tables, bar tables. I have not done anything to anybody on pool tables. But yes, I still have the pool table if you're wondering. It's not put together. I have not done anything to anybody on pool tables. And if I did, it would have been with my ex -wife.
Speaker: So it was more than likely by myself. Is that why the table leans to the left a little bit? It's not completely square. It's got the Carolina squat to it. That's what I would have to do to a pool table. I'd have to modify it so I can actually get some legs. Yeah, you would have to cut the legs in half so you could put it. Yeah, cut them down and give it the Carolina squat.
Speaker: Man, you don't cut the legs. You just put a platform, put a little steps to it. Yeah, I'd be like, hold on. Yeah, but you'd have to build that all the way. You'd have to. Yeah, give me 20 minutes. You'd have to build it all the way around the pool table, and then it would get into the normal sized people's place. But you know, bring me my steps too. I look like this. You know, when he cuts it, it's going to be like that. For those that are listening, I put offset hands.
Speaker: because it's an audio podcast. He's doing visuals. It's an audio podcast, not a visual podcast. Those of you listening to the replay. Yeah. Those of you listening to the replay, I'm dying laughing because Mike just did a video of visual cues. Yes. That's about as good as, that's about as good as Jeff Gordon. Oh, let me show you this. Or me doing X -ray. Yeah. Yeah. It was funny.
Speaker: Mine was at least fun. You're that was the worst dad joke I ever was terrible. That was terrible. I should, I actually, I should have, I should have sent you, I should have sent you to time out for it and just, and removed you from the podcast for a few minutes. Hey oldie, you go, you go to the sin bed. I mean, I'm not joking.
Speaker: Two minutes, unnecessary rough housing. Oh, visual cue was, as I was doing a referee gesture and I don't know what, because hockey is the only sport I do watch.
Speaker: Um, unless I'm going to get, um, snacks and then I'll watch a football game. You feed me, I watch football. Feed me, you'll watch football. I had to look this weekend. I, I, I did a bad thing this weekend, boys.
Speaker: as far as football goes. You bet on the wrong team. Your team won? We all know. No. We all know that I'm a Cleveland Browns fan. Yes, we do. It's playoffs. The playoffs started. It was a super wild game. You voted against your home team, didn't you? Well, they weren't in the playoffs this year. They didn't quite make it. You placed a bet against the Cleveland Browns. No, they weren't playing. But I did root for an in -state rival.
Speaker: this weekend. And I even wore their colors. The Cincinnati Bengals. And they look good too, boy. They look real good. Yeah, it's the Cincinnati Bengals. Really, Michael? Yeah, that's uh...
Speaker: Well, I'm only going to watch the football game for two reasons, and they both involve me putting my mouth on something. And that's about it. Just go buy a hooker already. No. You can't get laid, because I'm in love with some chick from South Wales. We're going to roll together. I am not.
Speaker: She was from England and we broke up damn near a year ago. So I was talking about a new one We broke up I stopped liking She was my girlfriend though
Speaker: I swear to God, I get the weirdest excuses. My ex -wife told me that she cheated on me as many times as she did because my penis was too big. And then she told me that she broke up with me because she didn't like my TikToks no more. It's just weird. I get the weirdest excuses.
Speaker: like chris just ran away for those who can't see chris muted his mic and turned off his camera and i think he might have uh his no there he is there he's back why am i on top now
Speaker: Mike done broke the whole fucking podcast. Yes, I did. I literally just announced this, literally you can't see. Chris just muted his mic and ran away. My ex wife cheated on me because my dick's too big. Shut up. That's what she told me. That's what she told me. I don't have a truck because my dick is so big that an SDM truck would be ridiculous. That is what she told me. I don't have a truck.
Speaker: That's not what she told you. That's what you heard in your head to make yourself feel bad. No, no. She told me that like a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker: I was like, that information could have been useful when we were married. I would have, you know, not had self -conscious issues like I did. Every one of you little thirsties that vote for this jackass every week, this is what you vote for. This is what you vote for. This motherfucker could take a career. 1984 Dodge Caravan.
Speaker: That was a good year for a Dodge Caravan. I like that. Remember that when you vote for him next week and you don't even hear the list or look at the list. You just vote for Mike because it's him. Exactly. Before I even posted, it's got 12 votes. I don't even know if Betty voted for me because she's voted against me more than she's voted for me. No, she hasn't. What, she voted for this time?
Speaker: She votes for you every time. No, she didn't. She voted for you the first time. No, I don't think so. Oh, she voted for me. It was because of Charlie and chocolate factory. I guarantee it. She absolutely doesn't matter because the rightful king is back and and and because you did Rocky Horror Picture Show. I guarantee it. That's why you didn't she didn't get your vote. You don't you don't.
Speaker: cult classics as a on a hate list their cult class list was flawless your list i didn't put it on the hate list i didn't put it on the bad list i think it's interesting how you only lost by one one vote and that vote was a mystery it wasn't a mystery it was on spotify
Speaker: I'm serious. I mean and I can't vote and I can't vote for myself on Spotify. I can't vote on my for myself on Spotify. We can't vote for ourselves. Well, I would have voted for Jeff anyways because his list was good for you to know.
Speaker: Even though the movie 43 sucks any fucking way. Oh my god. But, you know. You need to rewatch that movie. Because, because fucking Wolverine with balls hanging out from his neck are the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen. And he can take that plate and his balls. Alright, alright. Holy shit, I lose it every time. You boys, you boys lost. I won. We got the next list coming up Saturday. Let's, let's just drop it.
Speaker: The rightful king is back on his throat. I actually do not have any confidence in this list. All is right in the world. The king is back. Thank you, Mark. Mark says, Jeff, you're the winner to me. You know what, though, Jeff? I was bold for you. I'm glad. In all seriousness, I'm glad that Glit won this time because I got so tired of hearing him cry like a little bitch for seven straight fucking days.
Speaker: So I'm glad. I'm glad that again, this is that this is that imaginary brain process that you have. I'm like, I'm telling you that your dick was too big. So she left you. It's an imaginary thing that you have. Oh, that's not what you like. You like, you might have a mental. That's not why she left me. That's why she cheated on me. Either way, leave me. You might have. You might have delusional tendencies.
Speaker: I'm just saying, because there was no seven days of me bitching about you. And I was pulling for Jeff. Jeff had my vote 100%. I was pulling for Jeff. But I was pulling for Jeff. I actually thought you may have won by putting Batman Forever and in Rocky Horror Picture Show on your list. Batman Forever was a bad fucking movie for Tommy Lee Jones. See, that was the thing. That was the thing. It was a list.
Speaker: of bad movies that good actors had had a in that uh George Tommy Lee Jones was two -faced no no that's that's bat nickels and batman and robin this was this is Val Kilmer Tommy Lee Jones was two -faced yeah the worst Batman was George Clinton Tommy Lee Jones is an amazing actor and that was a bad Batman movie yeah
Speaker: No. Same with Tim Curry. I mean, I could have thrown shit at a wall and hit a terrible Tim Curry movie because he made a lot of it. Just, in my opinion, Rocky Horror is the worst. Here's my question when it comes to Tim Curry. What do you gentlemen think of the movie Clue? Because there's the two schools of thought, Clue. It's either a big piece of shit or it's an extra movie.
Speaker: I think Tim Curry's awesome. What do you think is Tim Curry's best movie? Clue. Rocky Horror Pictures. You think that's his best movie? I do. I watched Tim Curry take a shit for two hours. I think Tim Curry's best movie was It because
Speaker: I can't tell you how many people that I've talked to in my lifetime that got that clown -phobia because of Tim Curry. I mean, have you got an actor that can be that? He was very good in Home Alone 2 as well. Stevie Wonder, hello. I forgot he was even in Home Alone 2. I did too until 10. Oh yeah, he was, what was he, like the clerk or something? No, he was like the...
Speaker: He was really good in a scary movie too. Oh my god. That movie is hilarious. But who is one of those movies where, and my wife and I have this argument all the time, is you either love that movie or hate it. There is no in between. And my wife hates that movie. And I've watched it maybe four million times. I love that movie.
Speaker: I saw that it was on Prime, and I'm like, I'm gonna have to watch that. My wife was like, well, no, I'm not here. Didn't she make you watch Josie Shore? No, she watched it while I worked in the background, so I wasn't... I don't know. Whenever you guys come up this way. Actually, the problem is with Josie Shore and reality shows, if you have enough of one in the background, you start to pay attention.
Speaker: And then you have an opinion. And then you are hooked. Yeah, but that's not good when you have an opinion on the Jersey Shore, Michael, or Jeffrey. Oh, don't trust me, dude. The fact that I know everybody's name on that show pisses me off. I'm actually trying to see if Glick will put me up. I might actually try to visit Glick next weekend.
Speaker: If he'll let me crash at his pad. My kids will be here, but I don't give a damn. My kids are here every week. I mean, I sleep in a chair now. I mean, what else is there? I stopped walking all the way. You stopped walking all the way.
Speaker: We meet in the middle. And that old Georgia pine would kneel on the ground because of the bull's evil ooh. I love that fucking song. That's a good song. You got to love the 90s. You got to love the 90s country. Right back at you go. Well, I was I was talking to her since you brought up snacks. I was talking to her today at work and we started talking about 90s stuff, 90s food and stuff.
Speaker: Um, Oh, okay. I was going to say, you're like, just, we were talking about snacks. I was talking to Cheyenne. Meanwhile, you're like, I love you too. Weird Alabama back. What shit's going on? Um, you're the banjos. That's too close to comfort. She do edit a thirst trap of mine and I didn't know what the fuck to do. Oh, just moving on. The same thing to me. Yeah, but it's,
Speaker: That's my sister. That was just weird. I didn't know what to say. Yeah, that's exactly how I feel, too. I'm like, that's OK. But I do have a question. I almost threw up. I do have a question, though. Do you feel like Twinkies taste differently now than what they did before they walked the show? I'm not a huge fan. I've never liked Twinkies. I've never been a fan.
Speaker: But occasionally I'll get in the mood for a certain thing. And I literally bought Twinkies like 6 months ago.
Speaker: from the store here and they taste like shit. But for some reason, I've been craving for it. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Mark. And that's just because the UK has stupid laws about sugar. And I apologize for that. I don't, I don't, surprisingly, I don't eat a whole lot of snacks. Really? No, I mean, literally, I have to.
Speaker: Yeah, I have to, I, even chips, I have to be in the mood. Like I'll bite you and I'll go to the grocery store and be like, Oh, Doritos. I want some Doritos. And then I bring them home and I put them away and I forget about them. And then like two weeks later, I'm like, where the bag of Doritos come from? You know, it's like, Oh, okay. I'll have some tonight. You know? So I don't do a whole lot of snacks. You guys don't even know what, what saltwater taffy's are. And that's just bullshit. Who doesn't? Yeah, that's fucked up. Mark, you don't know what saltwater taffy is. I, uh, when I was,
Speaker: When I was dating Gemma in England, I mailed her a bag of saltwater taffy, and she was just like, she did. What's going on, Kobe? It's weird to stay. How you doing, brother? I sent her some juicy fruit as well, and she said it was almost like an underground thing where they're, you know, buying. Yeah, like they do in jail for smokes.
Speaker: Yeah, it was just the weirdest thing ever. I'll shake this guy and give me a fruit roll up. Give me a strip. When it comes to snacks, Monday, my wife called me and she says, hey, meet me at Walmart. And I said, what for? She's like, well, we need snacks. We're out of snacks. And I literally proceeded to spend $300 on snacks for the house.
Speaker: I literally got the bill and almost passed out. I don't know what the fuck. Well, it's like, but my snacks for my house is like, like I buy - Which Colby? I bought like lunch meat and cause - Colby Colby? Like all the Colby I know. Yeah. And then I bought, I bought, uh, jalapeno hot sauce. Colby Jack cheese. And I bought, uh, bratwurst, shit like that.
Speaker: But then I bought a bunch of fucking cookies and shit like that, too. I had a full fucking cart. But, uh, yeah, I just, I don't, I mean, I'll buy snacks for the kids, but I just don't, I don't eat a lot of snacks. Well, I bought, I bought stuff to make s'mores because my kids have never had s'mores. And I found grand characters, so I ran over and got some chocolate and some fucking chocolate.
Speaker: When you're the champ you have to stay in tip -top shape and got room for snacks in your life. The 3D Doritos were the greatest Doritos of all time and I'm so happy they brought them back. Oh my god. Yeah, that's what I see in Cheyenne we're talking about. The one thing I don't think... Some idiot that was born in 01... Some idiot that was born in 01...
Speaker: was going to argue with us 90s kids saying that 3D Doritos just now came out. You're like, you dumbasses. Who the hell was in 01? Who the hell was born in 01 that was arguing about that? Whoever was hosting this live. So a 20 -year -old. Yeah. And then I'm like, you probably think Pepsi Clear just came out last year too, didn't you? I remember drinking Pepsi Clear when 3D Doritos came out. It was like mid -90s.
Speaker: I remember that clear soda, I guess. I know, that's right, Colby. With the red balls. Oh, that's right. I remember that shit. Do you remember the Pepsi points? Yes. We were talking about that. I bought a wallet with it. That kid that got a bunch of points, and he wanted the Harrier jet.
Speaker: Yes, because Pepsi put me in there with a joke and then he sued him. Yeah. Yeah. That was funny. And they actually settled. I don't know. Fuck that. I want my hair here. Yeah. But yeah, that was yeah.
Speaker: Like, I remember when Surge came out, that was like the original energy drink. Oh, that stuff was so gross. Almost everybody greeted you up. Everybody had it. It jacked you up. Like, you got Surge? Yeah, I got Surge. They had a Surge pop machine in my high school. And do you remember they had a contest where if you bought a
Speaker: If you buy it from the pop machine, you could win a shirt. It looked like a can, but when you open it, it's got a shirt inside. And I always thought, what kind of asshole does that? Because if I'm really thirsty and I spend my last dollar and I get a fucking shirt.
Speaker: I'm gonna be pissed! Right? But you can always tell somebody that got a shirt at the school because they literally put it on and it's got all these crumple lines in it because it was literally this big a minute ago. You remember Welch's grape soda? That shit was the best. That shit was the best. Is that still out? Yeah. I think so but it was...
Speaker: Like, I don't know where. I can't do, I can't, I can't, I can't do like the great popper, orange popper, great popper. I used to. What do you think I like that? Well, oddly enough. Orange pop is all right, I guess, but. Orange is, is like, it makes me feel like I'm 10. When Mountain Dew came out with pitch, when Mountain Dew came out with pitch black, I wasn't a huge fan of pitch black, but I liked their pitch black too, which was, it was sour grape soda. And that shit was pretty cool.
Speaker: That was good. But no, I'm not a huge fan of orange sodas or grape sodas, but in the 90s, it was cherry Coke and Welch's grape soda. Yeah, the cherry Coke was like everywhere. Well, I found Dr. Pepper cream soda and I bought a can and I didn't really like it that much, but my kids loved it.
Speaker: So I literally just bought 12 cream soda cans and I bought me a 12 pack of Dr. Pepper because I can't buy it in two liters. Do you remember the Mondo's? Oh yes. Was that candy?
Speaker: No, it was a drink. It was a fruit drink? No, it wasn't a soda. It was like right before, I literally just had it in my head. Yeah, the juice in the plastic bottle. No, but the teas that came in the glass bottle, they were Snapple.
Speaker: Snapple Mondo's came out right before Snapple and Snapple took him to Do you remember the brisk the old brisk the old brisk? commercials Those were the yeah, where they took a trigger. That's Bruce. Well, they were I swear I swear that's where celebrity deathbacks came from I swear
Speaker: one of the things we used to do, do you remember the uh yeah they had to they had to twist off top or the nest tea nest tea commercial and they do the nest tea plunge i'm talking late 80s with a guy literally he's in the middle of the desert and he's got nobody's as old as you jeff we can't remember that shit
Speaker: You're a year younger than me, pussy. But literally, he's in the middle of the desert, and he starts dragging his boot into a giant square. Then he stands on the end, and he makes his body look like a teen. He just falls backwards. And when he hits inside the square, it's a pool. And it's like, do the nasty plunge. You know what I miss? I think vaguely. Vaguely. I wasn't. I'm like four years younger than you guys, so I don't know. Yeah.
Speaker: I think it was, I think, I think I was in kindergarten or first grade in 1990. I'm not that fucking old. Um, but you know what, especially since, especially since Christmas, especially since Christmas was not too long ago. Um, and maybe it's a biased opinion, but I feel like the toys that came out in the nineties were so much better than what they got now. The toys now suck. I mean, the tech, the tech stuff.
Speaker: The tech stuff is good. I remember... Yeah, I remember... But the toys like army menons. My talke trucks were metal. Oh, right. My transformers were metal. You know? The action figures were cool. Do you remember the Terminator 2 toy line? This shit was like bananas. Oh, yeah, that was great. That was like the best. Well, apparently... Ninja Turtle toys were awesome.
Speaker: They're expensive, but right now you can buy a proton pack that is movie accurate and lights up, sounds and everything. And it is weighty. It weighs 25 pounds. Nice. And it is for the local price of $250 more. It's a thousand bucks. It's a thousand bucks. Yeah.
Speaker: a thousand bucks for a giant battery pack with rotating lights okay well no but but it is it's basically sold to cosplayers yeah yeah yeah but it is the most accurate so i mean i am right i am right right you know the 90s toys were the best toys
Speaker: Yeah, they were. I mean, like I said, my Tonka trucks, I could literally dig a hole in the backyard with my Tonka truck. And I'm pretty sure I did. And I'm pretty sure I got yelled at. You know, you had the front end loader and the excavator. You could control it. You're digging it up and bulldozing everything. And I kid you not, I could probably go to my parents' house right now and my Tonka dump truck is probably still there.
Speaker: and probably probably they might have sold it for pool noodles problem. We know about it on that news. What day is the purple day? Let's take a break. I heard the purple days finger day. Wednesday is it's mystery Wednesday down there at the at the condominiums. We don't know what we got.
Speaker: Yeah, so you just throw all the noodles in a box, and whoever comes over, they close their eyes and pick one. That's the real reason Jeff's mom stopped watching the podcast, because she was busy on Wednesday. Just accurate. I'm going to find some Tylenol.
Speaker: Yeah, let's take a real quick break. We'll be right back. I do have a little bit of news for you guys. Got some news for you. And as always, we're going to play a little blacktop mojo for you. And again, because I get to scroll around. Got a little bit of an oldie for you guys. Maybe an oldie. Not super old, but you know what I mean. Have you been listening as long as I have? It's one that you've been listening to. It's better in the 90s, too. I don't know.
Speaker: 80s and 90s. It depends on what you're looking for. It was better. Yeah, I was just saying it depends on what you like. Yeah. The rap was better. But we'll be right back, guys. Like I said, we got a little blacktop mojo for you as always. If you're not already or if you haven't already, go check them out. Go stream their music wherever you can stream it. Go follow them on all social media. Let them know that old nonsensical nonsense sent you. We will be right back here in just a few minutes.
Speaker: so I can figure out how to work this.
Speaker: My technicolor of you is turning green Twist the ends and around Is there something wrong? There's nothing but white noise now The signal's gone Gone, gone, gone
Speaker: The screen is cracked I hit the side again but the picture won't come back I tried to wait it out but I fell asleep near dawn I guess I won't know how it ends The signal is gone Gone, gone, gone
Speaker: Gone, gone, gone The pain is feeling from the world
Speaker: Where did I go? Where did I go?
Speaker: Hell yeah. Welcome back everybody. Hopefully you like that song. I just really like Matt's voice. That dude can sing his ass off, man. And there are some songs that just really showcase that. Especially when they do something acoustic.
Speaker: But anyways, welcome back to Nonsenseical Nonsense. I'm Glick, as always. The champion, the champ is back. The rightful king is back on his throne. All is right again in the kingdom of Nonsenseical Nonsense.
Speaker: Some gesture stole my crowd last week a little bit of an enthusiast Unenthusi person tonight. My head is splitting like quarter fucking fire Holy shit. I just took two pairs of them also. I should be good in about 45 minutes That's okay, it looks like Mike just quit on the job. Yeah, so
Speaker: But appreciate you guys hanging out with us tonight. Like I said, I'm Glick hanging out with Jeff. We got Michaels at the house too. We're going to try to bring him back. It looks like he's having some technical difficulties on his end. Maybe he'll be back. Here we go. There you go. You guys aren't already. Go ahead and go give us a follow on social media at nonsensical nonsense on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. You can also join us live right here every Wednesday and Saturday night.
Speaker: on HAPS. It's a free app. Go download it. Go give us a follow. You can hang out in the chatters box with us. And then you can also get every episode of the podcast on Anchor, Spotify, Google Play, Apple Podcasts, basically anywhere and everywhere you get your little podcast and jollies from. So go give us a like and go give us a share. Give Mike and Jeff the old double thumb and then you can always email us if you'd like. And nonsensical nonsense podcast at gmail .com.
Speaker: Speaking of emails and whatnot and whatever, small accomplishment, but we did finally go over 1K on Twitter, followers, and another podcast reached out to me and wants me to come on their show with them. They do music and movie reviews and stuff like that.
Speaker: So I've got to try to schedule that with it. That was actually kind of cool. So I'm looking forward to that. They sent me some of their upcoming topics and all that shit. So a cool little, a little way to advertise us and also help another, another podcast grow. Um, I think it'll be interesting to say the least to, to jump onto another show. Yeah. Well, cause your movie choices suck, but that's okay.
Speaker: Says the guy who literally made two lists that were just complete shit. But I digress. I'm ready for the news. I know you want to say something. Who? Me? What do I have to say? No. Michael. Michael over there. What do I have to say? All I got to say is one more day.
Speaker: I was going to ask you about how that was going. Oh, really good. I know Saturday was very interesting. Really, really good. What's going to happen is I'm going to be prepared to do the show with just Jeff on Saturday. No, no, no, no, no, no. Because Cliff is going to be out of commission in, like, under the weather. No, I will be home.
Speaker: I will be home in time for the show Saturday. But no, things are going really good. I just pay no attention to the gallon, the water, the Gatorade jug, like in the old Westerns. No, it's awesome.
Speaker: The term unicorn, unicorn comes to mind. Oh, okay. Speak. So. We forgot to do something. Click. What did we forget to do? We forgot clicks, words of wisdom. I literally, my client was asking what the podcast was about. I mentioned it to her. Well, you know what? Can I do a little words of wisdom since you're not prepared? I don't know. Is it going to turn into you taking shots at your ex wife?
Speaker: No. As in if you got a big dick, don't cheat on me. I have a big dick. Why would any woman cheat on me? My words of wisdom, it's not my fault my dick is big. No, I'm just kidding. No. No. No. My words of wisdom is if you're a man and you beat up a woman, you're not a man.
Speaker: No, that is an asshole. Moving on. Well, I mean, that's not really a word of wisdom. Words of wisdom. That's just a fact. That means I better not be around it. Because I will put it. Yes, sir. We need to go downstairs. Where are you? Words of wisdom. Are you still watching Kepo? So after we got done at the hospital, we stopped at a restaurant. Go ahead, Mike. I'll be back. I got technical difficulties downstairs.
Speaker: So we're outside, we're eating breakfast at noon after being at the hospital for God knows how long. And there's, you know, we're literally maybe six feet from the street sitting in this restaurant and I'm looking out the window over my wife's shoulder and I see a man and a woman standing there and a guy pulls up next to them.
Speaker: and starts talking shit. Pointing his finger and stuff like that at dude's wife. And I literally started to get up. And I said, after the hellacious time we had at the hospital, because I was literally so mad while we were at the hospital, I was ready to burn down the building.
Speaker: I was like, dude, let this dude throw a swing because I'm in the perfect fucking mood. I said, I want to beat somebody up because at the hospital, since it is a government run facility, there are signs that if you yell, scream, or insult any of the staff, it is a federal offense. It can do up to six years in prison.
Speaker: So even though I was literally so angry I was really down to burn down the building, I had to be cool and calm. I literally must have gone outside about 12 times for cigarettes, so that I didn't punch somebody in the face. And then I saw this dude pull up and start talking shit. And I was like, dude, throw a swing, because I'll come out running. And I will body tap him up and bust the window of your fucking car with your head.
Speaker: Just because it'll be an excuse to beat the shit out of somebody. I know. I'm three and a half foot tall. Pin up frustration. I will call you out and you won't even see me coming. What? Why? Take your six foot two ass out.
Speaker: But, you know, right now with the current times in general, hospitals are super frustrated because they don't have room for people. No, no, no, no. The thing is, that was not the issue. The issue is... Well, no, I'm just saying.
Speaker: No, it's just because they're so busy. They're so busy. So when you go, even if you like, I had a friend of mine, he was, he was telling me the, uh, was it last week? His dad had COVID and wound up in the hospital.
Speaker: but they didn't have a room. So he was literally in the lobby, like in the waiting room and they had, and they had to put him on oxygen and stuff like that. So they literally brought the oxygen tanks and stuff out and kind of quarantined him off or whatever. And he was just sitting in a chair in the lobby because they didn't have a bed for him. You know, because like the, the hospital we go to for, because the only reason we went there is because it's everything is covered.
Speaker: under my wife's insurance for her. And basically, she has to take time off work because she can't put any weight on her ankle and blah, blah, blah. So it also, it covers, it pays her to go there. They basically cover her town time. So basically, she's getting paid to lie in a bed here at the house. But what was crazy is they have a section cordon off for COVID patients
Speaker: They have a staff for that and then they have a staff for general Bullshit comes in like I have a I have a stub toe, please fix me And it's the problem is it's a government -run thing and I literally think we got there five thirty in the morning And the place doesn't open till eight And we were already Fifth in line when we got there hmm
Speaker: And then it was just, you know, oh, you need an x -ray. You need to go upstairs, you know, walk half a mile to the stairs because the elevator is cordoned off of COVID patients. Go walk a half a mile to these stairs, go up the stairs and then get there. And then to get approval for the x -ray. But here's the best part. That approval area doesn't open until nine.
Speaker: Sucks to be you. Oh, it was hell. Well, with that being said... Yeah. With that being said... You're a little bit loud.
Speaker: Well, it's it's also I have I'm gonna tell you a couple of stories So listen to this listen to this, okay listen Yeah, and I have to have a light on for you guys to see me Hey Tina just in time for the news well Lately it seems like we've
Speaker: We've been getting a lot of police stories. We had the cop who got beat up by the cop. I wonder why. We had, well, it's just in the news. We had the cop who 100 % yellow stoned it and bareback a horse back to its ranch. That was pretty badass, actually. I mean, how cool would that be? Yeah, I saw it. That was cool. You know, like, I would love to be, actually, I probably could do that, but I haven't ridden a horse in some time. I'm gonna actually be buying a horse.
Speaker: Well, tonight in news, we have the Missouri Highway Patrol mistakenly sends a Batman themed alert. You get those text alerts and stuff like that, right?
Speaker: Jefferson City, Missouri, the Missouri State Highway Patrol alert sent cell phones blaring statewide. Authorities in Gotham City, Missouri were searching for a purple and green 1978 Dodge 3700 GT. Nice. But there is no Gotham City in Missouri.
Speaker: And the car reference was the one used by the Joker in the 1989 Batman movie. That's exactly the car. It's not the one that they used in the Batman movie. Yes, that is exactly the car. Soon after the Tuesday evening alert, the patrol sent another one saying to disregard the previous alert. Yeah, exactly. Some car nut like me saw that and went, yeah, I don't think so.
Speaker: Well, either a car nut or like a comic book nerd or something like that. They're like, wait a minute. That's Jack Nicklaus's car. Wait, just a cotton 50 minute now. Jack Nicklaus was never in the car either. His heads were more. Yeah, exactly. But in a brief news release, the patrol said a routine test of the Missouri's blue alert system was inadvertently transmitted statewide.
Speaker: The system is meant to let the public know when a police officer is killed or seriously injured in the line of duty. During the test, an option was incorrectly selected, allowing the message to be disseminated. Disseminated? Yeah, sure, whatever.
Speaker: Uh, to the public, uh, the news release stated exactly. Uh, the news release stated a message left with patrol on Wednesday seeking additional information wasn't immediately returned. So the Missouri state highway patrol was like, yeah, we're just going to pretend like that never happened. You know what happened? You know, this is exactly what happened. Some guy, some guys like,
Speaker: Just was doing this computer where it was like, hey, Jim. Hey, Jim, come here. What would I put down there? I mean, I wrote down as a joke, but it's going out that way. It's going out. I'm going to send it. Oh, you're not going to send it. Yes, I am. He's literally like, hey, Jim, check this out. You see that? Wouldn't that be cool if we sent out? Jim reaches over and goes, send, motherfucker.
Speaker: And then he's like, you're so fired. No, it was a test. It was a test. Yeah. Well, blame it on the temp in, uh. Blame it on the temp. Blame it on Bob. He's his worst, at least. Fucking Bob. What's up, Bob, guys? What's up, Bob, guys? What's up, guys? What's up, guys? What's up, guys?
Speaker: Oh, fuck. I've actually been to Jefferson City. That's actually pretty tough. It's not bad. Not bad when you're in Missouri. Whoa, wait a minute. You need to send me that article or you need to elaborate on that a little bit more.
Speaker: I just got a message that said I should tell the story about the police department that tased a guy who poured hand sanitizer all over himself and the dumbass cops tased him and set him on fire. That's a lot of alcohol. There's a video. There's a video. We need to fact check that. There is a video. One of the funniest tased videos I've ever seen. And if I find it, I will put it up on Facebook.
Speaker: It is a guy, he's obviously been arguing with his wife or girlfriend, whatever, right? And he's a big dude. And the cops tase him. And before he goes down with a cigarette in hand, he literally does this. He's getting tased and you can see, you can hear the clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack. And he's like, I'm gonna get you, bitch. And then falls.
Speaker: Funniest thing I've ever seen. He points at her, I'm gonna get you bitch, and then falls down. Funniest thing I've ever seen. It just crumples. No, he doesn't even crumple. It literally doesn't look like it phased him at all. Wow. Because he's a big dude.
Speaker: And he literally, he's got like, almost like a, it's just like a t -shirt and jeans or whatever, and like sandals. And it looks like the t -shirt is literally pushing the limits of what you can call a t -shirt at this point. Because he's been fighting with this girl, and she's been like tearing at his shirt or whatever. And he's just like, I'm gonna get you, bitch. Ory, Ory, and they're cops. But it's all like that. It seems like every one of these girls are wearing a white beater.
Speaker: No, but I mean this is a large, dark gentleman. It looked like it was something right off the world start. Nicely put, Jeffrey. Yes, I didn't want to say black guy, but it was a black guy. Why'd you gotta be black? I'm trying to be woke, because it's actual video evidence that he is black.
Speaker: But that video is hilarious. You just see that cops going taser, taser, taser, clack. I'm gonna get you, bitch. All right. Oh, it has got a video. So, okay, let me go ahead and share that to our group so I can get it back and post it onto Facebook. Look at that. That's what I'm talking about. She's already better than both. Y 'all goofy bastards.
Speaker: So a disturbing video shows a man doused in hand sanitizer burst into flames after being tased by the police or by cops Well, it's also flammable because it's alcohol -based Yeah, yeah, holy shit. He did. Oh my god. He is on fucking fire And they just leave
Speaker: all the cops, all the cops just dipped. They were gone and left this motherfucker. I'm not going to go through this shit. I'm not going to be in eternal affairs for six hours. I will post this video tomorrow on to our Facebook page. So, uh, this was, this was back, uh, last, last week. It looks like
Speaker: But the New York State Attorney General on Friday released footage of a man bursting into flames after being tased by cops inside an upstate police station in October. So the incident actually happened back in October. And now I feel bad for laughing because the guy died.
Speaker: But the encounter that led to his death, the Distributed Surveillance video shows members of the Catskill Police Department running away, leaving the man as he desperately tries to put out the flames engulfing his upper body in the head. Jason Jones, 29, just died on December 15th at a hospital in Syracuse after spending six weeks in a medically induced coma. The Office of New York Attorney General
Speaker: The Teddah James is investigating his death. The footage made public by James shows Jones pacing around the lobby of the police station some 30 miles south of Albany for about 10 minutes after speaking with several officers on October 30th. He becomes visibly agitated taking off his short sleeve sweatshirt and ripping his t -shirt off.
Speaker: off his large frame before taking his shoes and socks according to the video, which does not have sound. A little more than 10 minutes later, Jones is seen dousing his bare torso and hair with flammable hand sanitizer from a large pump bottle on the table. So this, this hand sanitizer, what it looks like is like that just straight liquid. So like rubbing alcohol. Okay. Yeah. Right. So
Speaker: Within seconds three officers advance towards him one of them draws his taser and fires it is fires it at Jones who's out of the cameras frame Jones then burst into flames comes back into the cameras frame and rolls on the floor as his chest back and head are fully engulfed in fire The three officers scurried away Yeah, so the three officers scurried away two into another room in a third around the corner of the lobby
Speaker: and left Jones alone to extinguish the fire by rolling on the ground and patting on his head with his hands for about 10 seconds to video show. Holy crap. So obviously, he had severe burns. Yeah. And how far does it, like, why did he take his shoes and socks off? Because that was the moment he did that. He was grounded.
Speaker: What an idiot. Well, I mean, it's not even the grounding thing. You literally poured yourself with a flammable liquid, and then they shot something that... So, I mean, I kind of feel like a dick for laughing, but the video was kind of funny.
Speaker: I really don't. You guys on the group chat that we have on Facebook, you'll see that I get you bitched video. I just sent it. I kind of, I, you know, I kind of want to feel bad about the guy. How funny is that? But at the same time, it's like the baby part of our
Speaker: Because we allow stupid people to live longer, you know? Yeah. Well, it's Darwinism. You know, unfortunately, stupid people have been left to their own devices. But I mean, at the same time, I don't know what he was arrested for. It's a very long story. It's from the New York Post. I'll post the video and the whole article if you guys want to read it. I'll post them separately.
Speaker: But yeah, if you want to show that, hold your phone up there to the camera there, Chris. You can show that. I'll get you Ben's video. Um, but yeah, yeah. So apparently he died. I mean, he had damage to his lungs and everything like that, but, um, yeah, not reading the full story and watching the video. The video was kind of funny, but then you read the whole story and it's like, wow, the cops were kind of, don't I look like a fucking asshole.
Speaker: They were 100 % wrong because that was the thing. What was going on? It didn't look like he was, and I may or may not overstep my boundaries here, but I don't think I'm going to. It doesn't look like he was a threat in any way, shape, or form. He might have been aggravated, he might have been annoyed, but it doesn't look like he was a threat to where they needed to taste him. Well, I haven't seen the video, but is he a big dude?
Speaker: He's a decent sized guy, but either way, he's basically in a confined space. I mean, they were in like a lobby area, so he's in a confined space and there's three cops. I would think that three cops and it didn't look like maybe, but one of the cops was a smaller guy. Um, so I would imagine that three cops could, well, dick move Mark, dick move Mark. Yeah, it didn't look like in any way, shape or form he was a threat. And I would imagine that those three cops could have
Speaker: very easily down Yeah, and and and got in control, you know, yeah, I don't know what he was arrested for anything like that but Dick move on their part and hopefully it is New York. That's the unfortunate thing. It is New York. So more than likely they're not gonna Get in much trouble. Yeah, they might lose a day's pay because New York
Speaker: NYPD are so basically untouchable because they're giant they're like what one of the biggest unions in the United States something like that so But yeah, no, no he didn't look like a threat at all He just looked like he was agitated and aggravated by something. I mean it'd be kind of like I Don't know I get
Speaker: Saturday, for instance, I was aggravated and annoyed and I was pacing. I had to leave the room. So, I mean, that would be like basically the same thing. I was just aggravated, but I wasn't doing anything. I just left the room, you know, and then all of a sudden it's a real shitty subject, but oof, oof, wazzle.
Speaker: Mike popped off, then popped back on. I think he's having technical difficulties. Yeah, I don't know. I'm waiting for him to pop back in here. There he is. There he is. I got a couple of stories here, but I got to fry some chicken. Oh, OK. Well, Mike, are you using a laptop or a phone?
Speaker: I was gonna say that that video I literally just put it on the Facebook Facebook page of the I got you bitch video Holy shit. It's I have my I have my laptop, but I'm having some Issues But if when you see the video you'll see the guys he's he's disheveled and
Speaker: But he's literally yelling at the cop, and the cop teases him. He literally, I'll get you, bitch. Oh my god. Fucking hilarious. And it wasn't as hard as I thought. So you talked about, yeah, you talk about Bobby Shadow. What's going on? What do we got? Hey, Bobby, what's up? Hey, Bobby, what's up? What were those hit? OK. But you talk about some of your, like, that being your favorite.
Speaker: video where somebody was tased. The classic though is still the, don't tase me bro. Oh my God. That video is so funny. Don't tase me bro. But then there's one, there's one from a few years. Oh, now we got an echo. What's going on? Then there's one from a few, then there's one from a few years ago where this chick was at a sporting, like a football game or something.
Speaker: and she was super drunk and she was like trying to pick fights with everybody and the cops were trying to break it up and she punched one of the cops in the face so you see the cop well there's that one after she knocked her the hell out yeah well there's another one where there's another chick in a football game
Speaker: And she's flailing around and she hits the cop. I'll see if I can find it. And you see the cop just go, you see him reach, and then just stick it right in her fucking side. And she just goes limp. You know? Like, yeah, take that. That's what you get.
Speaker: Yeah, anyway. The king will fuck around and find out. Right? So yeah, that one where that cop knocked that chick out, and she got what she was asking for. I'm sorry. I don't condone men hitting women, but you know. Well, that's towards women. No, I get that. But at the same time, it's 2021. We all remember. We all remember. Well, 2022. And that girl says to Jet Li,
Speaker: He says, I can't hit a woman. And the girl says to him, it doesn't count if she's whooping your ass. Yeah, right. I butchered the quote. But it's up like it. You know, if she calls on hits, I cop hard.
Speaker: Yeah, she cracked him right in the face. She fucking haymakered that motherfucker right in his face. And I don't blame that cop for one bit for knocking her the fuck out. I would have literally Chris Tucker'd that shit. I'd be like, you just got knocked the fuck out! Well, in other news, we'll move on here. Micah has no sound, I think. I don't know what's going on with Micah's head.
Speaker: He can hear us, but he might not have it in his head. Yeah, there we go. Just listen to us rant. I'm just listening. This new story makes me think of you. You're not doing a fantabulous job. There was no way that I could have made it better, so I just let you guys talk about it. I mean, those are facts right there. That is a fact. Facts. Fact check. Next story. This story makes me think of you, Jeffrey. Oh, shit.
Speaker: A man gets promotion and salary hikes after doing nothing for five years at his job. Yeah, that sounds about right. A man shared how he got paid for doing nothing at his job for five years. He even managed to get promotions and salary hikes. The man got a data entry job on night shifts in 2015. It was a data entry position, meaning I get an email containing the details of an order and proceeding
Speaker: to input the information into our system," he said on Reddit. After training, he knew that he could use code to get the work done since he didn't know how to code. He hired a freelancer to develop the code for him. This cost him a salary of two months. All he had to do was provide input for how many orders he wanted to process per hour.
Speaker: Since day one, I was working from home because the company did not want to pay for transportation or cleaning during the graveyard shift. The man said, he continued the first two years, I would check if there was something the code cannot do. Usually took me less than five minutes. And then I would let the computer running and watch movies, go to bed. Sometimes I'd even go out. Then I added those functions to the code as well.
Speaker: He said that he was offered promotions a few times for his remarkable job. He got offers for better jobs, but he rejected them as, there was no reason for me to quit where I was working. The man added, sometimes some coworkers will try to match my order entry quota, which would make me open the code and change an eight to a nine to increase my production and keep myself on top. I changed the numbers regularly just in case
Speaker: but nobody even noticed. He also got salary raises twice for not taking leaves. The employer took four years to develop the program that would replace his position a few weeks ago. I got my severance check and I was told I could keep the laptop and office equipment and that I'm welcome to apply for any position I want. I never talked about that with anybody in real life, not even my family, even my wife wasn't sure what my job was about.
Speaker: with that other company. Now that it is over, there you go. My darkest work secret. He said, so basically this guy was making, uh, he was making a 80 K a year, 80 ,000 a year. And he was getting one, one service request, one job request, like every nine days.
Speaker: in this story so you know he was just living life man like all he had to do is turn his computer on and log on
Speaker: Well, but he did his job. His job was done. I mean, right there, that's a lawyer. Did I miss a day? Did I not do my job? Where's the problem? As one Reddit user said, you were paid to do a job who gives a shit how you got it done.
Speaker: Another route. Yeah, if in five years no one ever checked to find out how he was spending this time. It's on them He got paid to fill in data. He filled in the data contract fulfilled a third user added Life out loud and was offered promotions Get another comment and automate something for a company and
Speaker: Get paid once. Automate your own job without anyone knowing. Get paid for five years of doing nothing. Hats off to you, even if the ride is over, my friend. Yeah. So. If I could fucking figure out how to automate my job, or I wouldn't have to do anything but sit here, or check on, make sure my computer's still running, I'd do the same. Guy found the loophole. Yeah. You know?
Speaker: and got paid. Job was done. The job got done. He never called off. He was never sick. He never took vacation time. So I ain't mad at him. Hell, no, I.
Speaker: I need to get a hold of this guy to find out who his programmer's name is. The initial program did cost him two months' salary. Yeah, but at the end of the day, if he's making $80 ,000 a year, what is that? What is that, about six grand a month? Six or something grand a month, yeah. So call it $14 ,000. He never had to work for five years? Shit. Yeah. Well, in other news, that's money.
Speaker: Oh, yeah, he definitely got his money's worth. A a another Reddit user. Kind of like digging the news from Reddit, but it's got some good news stories. That's funny. But a another Reddit user posted on his Reddit account. The so so the the article says that Internet is in shock or is in shock. As a man admits to lying to his wife for over 13 years,
Speaker: Few things are more sacred in a relationship than not skipping an episode ahead In the box set of a TV show you're watching together or only buying yourself fast food on the way home Which is why one man has openly admitted that he fucked up after lying to his wife for more than a decade and
Speaker: a fact which has come back to bite him after she discovered his secret. Redditor moocow870 confessed to the site's TIFU forum after his heinous ruse involving gummy bears was discovered. The dad revealed his wife hates
Speaker: lime and orange flavored candies while he loves them. So they developed a sharing system, uh, of the candies as he explained. So she passes the orange starburst to me. She passes the orange and green Skittles to me. She passes the orange and green gummy bears to me. This has been happening for 13 years, but what she didn't know was that the Harbo gummy bears that are green,
Speaker: they're not lying. They're actually, they're strawberry apple. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nice. Green ones are strawberry. Yeah. Surely after you've married for one reason or another, I looked at the back of the, the Harvo gummy bear package and discovered this. So I haven't said anything for 13 years. Every time we get gummy bears,
Speaker: She gives me the orange and green strawberry and I never said a word. I enjoyed eating them. I enjoyed eating my little lies. He said, despite, despite, despite making the discovery. So it's not a bad story. It was just like, I got you.
Speaker: So despite the discovery he kept his mouth shut and let his wife feed him all the green gummy bears aka the strawberry flavored candies Everything was fine. He said until last night when his wife randomly looked at the back of a candy package Sharing the moment
Speaker: His web of lies came crashing down, he wrote. But after a few minutes, I saw her looking at the back of the bag. And then I see her eyes get real big. You motherfucker. He says, he continues, she turned to me and asked me if I've known the green bears were strawberry. She always thought they were alive.
Speaker: He said, I honestly nodded my head, yes. The look of betrayal was unreal. She asked how long I've known and I was honest and I told her as long as we've been married. Can you imagine if she divorced him over it? That would be another cute little story. The fallout from the deception has seen the man resign himself to buying his own sweets from now on.
Speaker: As he added, she quit giving me the gummy bears. She didn't like. She was even eating the orange ones out of spite. I don't. She's like, fuck you, not even getting the orange, motherfucker. Fuck you, motherfucker. I'll put two greens and an orange together. I don't think I'll get any more gummy bears, gummy bear discards after this. His confession shared on Friday.
Speaker: was already amassed more than 80 ,000 upvotes and sparked a wild discussion online. Redditors were divided, some finding the episode hilarious, while others claimed that it was indicative of something more sinister.
Speaker: And if you pointed out that the husband would be back in the doghouse when the wife finds out green Skittles are in fact apple flavor. Yes, that's true. Commenting on the post that she said she's even eating the orange ones out of spite. You're both, you're both hilarious and you have a great union. No, that's true. I mean, I mean, that's the biggest problem in their marriage. Good on them.
Speaker: Yeah, right. Bear, bear, bear joked. Tomorrow, A -I -T -A, whatever that is, for lying about Skittles. My wife kicked me out. Help. Broken, exponentially admitted. Yeah, I legit lost it at spite eating my favorites.
Speaker: That's fucked up. That actually reminds me of the story of this guy. You know those intervention TV shows. They're doing an intervention for this. And I literally saw this on YouTube. This guy, he was seriously, seriously overweight. And his wife put him on a diet. And I think you and I may have talked about this on an earlier episode. Where he was sneaking cheeseburgers.
Speaker: Kind of like the guy that broke into the Burger King and drank the fry oil. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But this guy literally what he would do on his way home was buy cheeseburgers from like Burger King or McDonald's and eat them on the way home and then eat his tofu that she made him. What got him caught
Speaker: was he put the wrappers, instead of actually cleaning out his fucking car, he put his wrappers under the driver's seat and she drove the car one day. That's what that's about. That's how she busted him. She went to move the seat and all these wrappers came pouring out. That's fucked up. Yeah, that's funny as hell though.
Speaker: One more day. One more day. That would be me. Yes. Yes. That would definitely be you. Oh, yeah. Because my wife is not a burger fan and I love fucking burgers. But does she tell you you can't have burgers? Well, usually the burger discussion comes up when she's like, hey, let's order something to eat tonight.
Speaker: And I'm like, yeah, grab some Mickey D's off of DoorDash. And she's like, no, I don't want fucking Mickey D's. But she's never said I can't have them. The kids and I like burgers. She's not a burger person. So if we're out and about, we go to the food court to eat. There's a Burger King there, Subway, and all this other shit. Oh, that reminds me.
Speaker: We literally split up and everybody gets what they want. Yeah, everybody gets what they want. Yeah, I know. I was informed that my girl, she likes to eat. And hopefully that's not, or hopefully that's okay. And I'm like, fuck yeah. You know, if you're not afraid to eat. But that does lead me to an important question. Yeah. Steaks. We've had this discussion. Oh, yes.
Speaker: interesting. Now you're still listening. I was actually talking to my client about us getting into the discussion about red flags.
Speaker: you think you think you think depending upon how they eat their steaks should be a red flag oh by the way I was kind of just kind of going over a few of the red flags we talked about and you know she she brought up a couple good points and stuff and
Speaker: And I brought up steak. And she's like. Burn on the outside, still kicking on this. I just heard Mark. I said. OK. I said I. I won't hold that against you. We all we. Not terrible. No. But we we all agree.
Speaker: Basically that with the cowboy way at least Christmas. Yeah that Knock its horns off wipe its nasty ass and chunk it down here on the plate. Yeah. Yeah, I just If you're gonna cook it whisper fire to it. Yeah Put me to the cow here. I got a lighter Don't even kill it just bring it here and I'll fucking do it Just walk into it. Just walk into the
Speaker: Okay. It's not a deal breaker. It's not a red flag. Don't listen to Jeff. I was just curious. No, she said still pink on the inside. That's meeting well. No, that was Mark that said that. Burn on the outside. What the fuck? Oh, okay. Well, see you guys later, I guess.
Speaker: My empty beer bottles just... No, they just... They just, like, jumped out the window, man. My empty beer bottles committed suicide. Yeah, see ya. I guess I'll have to go pick those up tomorrow. What the hell is going on with Michael? I don't know. You're not speaking, dude. It's an audio podcast. You can't just be visual, and you're not even visual. He's not even visual.
Speaker: No, I'm here. He's failing us all the way around. I'm having issues, but it's my fault. He's busting it up, Mark says. Sounds like he's in the bathroom taking a shit. Again? No, I'm not taking a shit. I'm going to take you with me. Me or you are not on that level. Well, believe it or not, here's the funny thing about my office. I do like my steak rare.
Speaker: But as we've discussed, I'm a manly man. So give me an ice cold, give me an ice cold Budweiser and ice cold beer and a medium rare steak. And I'm the happiest son of a bitch on the planet. Have you seen the adult male versions of the Lunchables? Remember Lunchables?
Speaker: Yeah, I remember lunchables. Yeah, I remember lunchables. I'm just trying to figure out how you're going to have an adult male version of that. There's an adult male version of lunchables. At some stores, they take a steak, a potato, and a can of Budweiser, wrap it in cellophane on its little styrofoam plate, and sell it like that. That is the adult male version. So a steak, a Budweiser, and what? A steak, a beer, and a potato.
Speaker: Oh, baby. That's what I'm talking about. Where can I buy these Lunchables at? I have no idea, but I saw a picture of it on Reddit, and it was the adult male version of a Lunchable. And I was like, fuck it, yes. I like it. I like it. That was what I... That was literally...
Speaker: a steak and a potato on a piece of styrofoam wrapped myself in. I was like, where do I get that? That was literally what my dinner was every night for like three or four months after my ex -wife left me because I lived alone and I didn't have anybody. Not only did I live alone, I realized I finally learned how much money I made. So I was like, I can legit eat steak every night.
Speaker: I could eat steak and drink beer every night. Motherfucker, why haven't I had lobster yet? So, and I would, and I would, I'd have, you know, I'd do steak fajitas, steak kebabs, steak, you know, whatever. Steak burgers, baby. Yeah, steak and shrimp, you know. Since I brought up lobster, since I brought up lobster, what is your gentleman's take on lobster? Really? Not YouTube. Really?
Speaker: Not YouTube, that really was meant for somebody else. I like lobster, but here's the thing, I was never a big seafood fan or liked to eat seafood until I moved to Charleston. Oh really? Because everything, and I tried it, I had several customers that owned seafood restaurants, so literally
Speaker: Everything was fresh. It was caught that morning. I have a crazy story about fresh seafood. Like a rodeo, huh? One more day. I love seafood so much. I'll go to a seafood restaurant and order steak. That's how much I love seafood.
Speaker: I was always told if it smells like fish, don't eat it. So those are words that I would buy. When I was in the Navy, I spent two months in Japan, and instead of staying on base,
Speaker: because my buddy and I would go out all the time. We rented an apartment above a seafood restaurant. And the gentleman owned the seafood restaurant, his name is Lou, L -L -U, would literally knock on our door at like 10 o 'clock at night and he said, guys, I have all this leftover stuff that's just gonna go to waste, do you want it?
Speaker: And he would show up with like nine lobster tails, octopus, and all this shit. And I would eat lobster almost three times a week because of it. It was awesome. Wait, no. So you've talked about before, we don't have to go like... Oh, excuse me. But you guys will go to the pirate ship from time to time. Yeah.
Speaker: And you take your wife's steak, right? What we do is we both order the surf and turf. Now, I can get steak any night of the fucking week. But I don't buy lobster because I can't cook it because I don't know how. So my wife and I order surf and turf. She is not a lobster fan, although she likes other seafood. Once again, I get steak any time I want. So I take her lobster and I give her my steak.
Speaker: I have two lobster tails and she has two steaks and it's a perfect night. Although I could drink the liquid butter for a meal if I wanted to because that stuff's awesome. That is my pirate ship story. I love that place. I try to go every year for my birthday. I didn't go the past two years just because of laziness.
Speaker: Mike, it is time for break already. I'm not lazy about things I eat. What was that?
Speaker: Sorry, I thought that was over in my head. I know that was over in my head. Don't you hate it when you do that? With your inside voices, your outside voices, you're like, fuck my life. I just totally fucked this shit up.
Speaker: He's a man. Man. Exactly. Damn the filters. The filters got me again. One more day. Whoo. Chris is getting high lashes. Oh, my god. I was thinking about a day from now. I'm getting high lashes. I get what you did gee for. Well, I can put two and two. I'm not the best at math, but I just put two and two together, folks.
Speaker: Yeah, we're not going out to eat, are we? We're not leaving the house. Okay, I have another question. It's a time for a break. I prefer what you do not prefer. I have a very important question, and it's visual as well.
Speaker: Were there's original thoughts? I don't like it. Oh my god. I like them. It's a caramel candy, right? It's butterscotch, basically. Oh, yeah. I don't like butterscotch. I'm a fan. See, I love butterscotch. Mark, yes, they are old man sweets. Mark's like old man sweets. Fuck you. I'm old. Well, over here, we call them candy. They don't call them sweets.
Speaker: America, America, America, America! Fuck yeah! Gonna save the motherfucking day! No, seriously, the best song, Granger Smith's, um, Earl Dimless Jr. America. Fucking love that song. America. Are you okay now, Blake?
Speaker: Chris has already ended the show in his mind, and he's talking about other things. I am incurrently in Cincinnati. Sheesh! I just thought it was a fucking teaser, folks! Sheesh! Sheesh! Sheesh, right now!
Speaker: Yeah, I totally thought that was in my head. I did not even know that came out. It was like a little girl just came up behind Chris. Or somebody came up behind Chris and pinky fucked his asshole. So he said surprise, motherfucker. Oh shit, Chuck.
Speaker: No, we need to break there real quick guys
Speaker: I used to question some of the shit you do, but now I don't even believe it. Right? Mark's like, I've been around so long that this is, this is just the door. Just another day.
Speaker: Yeah, you might as well go ahead and find a pizza shop because we're not leaving. Just put a standing order for pizza. That poor pizza guy is going to be scarred.
Speaker: I'm going to open the door cowboy boots to my boxers. Hey, what's going on? You got my pizza? He's going to go back to the pizza.
Speaker: Yeah, the biggest redneck I've ever seen open the door in shorts and boots. And that's all he had on. He covered his dick with a fucking cowboy hat.
Speaker: Right, you see now why we did order eats? Because you need shoes and shirt service. I got one for you guys, right? So last night, my wife, wait a minute, that's what I said, we spent the entire fucking day at the hospital. And I got done work after I got home. And the kids were our grandmas because we knew we were going to be gone all day. So I said to my wife, I said, you know, it's been a stressful day. I could use little.
Speaker: little milky and she's like okay when we go upstairs we'll have sex it's all right so we go upstairs and we start watching TV and and I got up to turn off the light and pull my dick out of my jeans and just let it hang through the zipper hole and I just turned around and it took her five full minutes to realize what was going on
Speaker: We need to go to break Where's the chicken dance song when we need it
Speaker: Well, I would have that same problem too just because it wouldn't be seen I'm naked. Oh shit. You are naked Speedo
Speaker: Get your ass out now, right now, pizza boy. Sheep. Sheep. That pizza boy is going to go, Jesus Christ. I don't think a bear almost ate you. Somebody shaved a bear. Get her out of the door. I'm going to open the door and the pizza guy is going to go, sheesh. Give me my food, little man. We're hungry. And eat her up. Baby, not free food.
Speaker: get your ass in the house right now no no no pizza boy you're not allowed in the house drop the food and leave please leave it at the door don't even in the man in the house put the pizza down turn around
Speaker: I am in trouble this weekend boys I am in trouble
Speaker: Hey, everybody listening. Chris is going to put his address on Facebook. Everybody just send him a box of comments. It'll be hilarious. Nope. Had that discussion last night. Oh, really? I got time for a break, boys. Once again, I just put two and two together, folks.
Speaker: I am a math genius tonight. That's a wrap, folks. Nice to know it all. Mark said it. That's a wrap, folks. Nice to know y 'all at Nonsense Gold Nonsense is now canceled. It's not canceled. Yeah. No, we don't. No, we don't. Nice. We got to take a break. We got to take a break. This is going to break, because I'm doing a lot of math in my head, and I'm getting it right. For the love of God. For the love of God.
Speaker: Let's go to break. We are going to go to break and keep them with the new tradition.
Speaker: It is a blacked out mojo cover. One of my favorite songs, I love this song, Jamie Johnson made this song popular a few years back, it's called In Color. So. Please tell your, give us, show us your X -rated picture again, Jeffrey. We're going to break, stop talking to me.
Speaker: I said grandpa what's this picture here it's all black and white and it ain't real clear is that you there he said yeah
Speaker: your times were tough back in 35 that was me and uncle joe just trying to survive cotton farm and a great depression and if it looks like we were scared and down like a couple of kids just trying to save each other you should
Speaker: I was taking overseas in the middle of hell in 1943 In the wintertime, you could almost see my breath Well that was my tail cut and roll Johnny McKee He was a high school teacher from New Orleans And he had my back right through the day
Speaker: It looks like we were scared to death Like a couple of kids just trying to save each other You should have saved an income Well, pictures worth a thousand words But you can't see what those shades of gray keep covered You should have saved an income
Speaker: This one here is my favorite one This is me and grandma in the summer sun All dressed up the day we set our vows You can't tell it here but it was hot that June And that rose is red and her eyes were blue Just look at that smile I was so proud
Speaker: Well that's the story of mine We're out there in black and white If it looks like we were scared from death Like a couple of kids just trying to save each other You should've seen it in cars
Speaker: Can't see what those shades of gray keep covering
Speaker: Welcome back to Nonsenseical Nonsense everybody. Hopefully you guys are having a good time. Sheesh! Hopefully you enjoyed the show. If not, I don't know what the hell is wrong with you. Sorry, am I? I'm literally jotting down t -shirt ideas. Sheesh! T -shirt. The devil is an angel. Gotta read the book. Yeah, the devil was an angel. He was casted out. Yeah, that doesn't count. Well, that's what I said.
Speaker: Heaven doesn't want us. Hell's afraid we're gonna take off. Yeah, so We're just gonna we're just we're just gonna be here we can't we can't we can't die because they're like We are immortal. I mean, what was that? What was that? Hold on a second. Oh, what was that? You remember that you remember the movie Highlander or remember the TV show Highlander? I've never seen it actually Really?
Speaker: Yeah, I've never got into it. Oh, the movies were so good. See, the thing is, the thing is, it's like when I was a kid, I didn't watch Star Wars until I was almost 20. And as a fucking self -proclaimed major, I was never into the fantasy. The Highlander movies had, I can't think of his name, it was the guy who played Raiden in Mortal Kombat.
Speaker: Yes. I don't know his name, but I know who you're talking about. But he was in those. There could be only one. But yeah, then they had the Highlander TV shows. I'm sure Mike knows what Highlander is. But yeah, it was basically, you know, there was Immortals and they would, there could be only one. There could only be one. And then they would, they all waged in like. I love that show. The TV show was. Sword. Wasn't Sean Connery in the original? Yeah, Sean Connery was the first two.
Speaker: Uh, who was the other guy who played, he played Raiden and, and, and, uh, which was so funny, which was so funny because he did, um, he did, uh, Sean Connery did Highlander, but turned down Lords of rings and Harry Potter because he said he didn't understand it.
Speaker: Okay extraordinary gentlemen because Okay, Harry Potter and and and war the rings were massive hits and He didn't understand League of extraordinary gentlemen either, but he took it to the past on those other two roles and then that movie's right bombed Remember, we've bombed and didn't even tired from acting
Speaker: He's like, I'm done. Yeah, Christopher Lambert played Conor McCloud or the Clay McCloud. Yes. But you and I were talking about this guy. He was in the first Highlander movie, Clancy Brown. He played the villain. You and I were talking about him last week. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, he's he's on he's on Dexter Newblood and he's one of those guys I mean, there's a lot of these guys out there that You see them and you go. I know that fucking guy. Yep. He's that guy Pick his name off of the list. But then in then in the Highlander TV show Adrian Paul played played Duncan McLeod
Speaker: but you know I said I got to think of the theme song to that the TV show and it was done by Queen oh yeah yeah and it was really good I'll give you guys a little a little snippet of it it's gotta it's gotta start there's a little slower
Speaker: I gotta find that show cuz now I want to watch the show again. Oh, yeah Wait till Jeff comes back and we'll get into this
Speaker: Another 90s. Another 90s thing that were that that did not look right. Apps, apps, apps, apps, apps a fucking lutely. Not you, Michael. I can't see the comments. No, you're not going to see these comments. These are personal comments. Well, then. Hey, Jessica, how we doing? Hey, boo.
Speaker: Moving on. I really need Friday to get here. I really need you to focus on the task at hand. At the task at hand. But yeah, okay. Thank you, sir. Welcome to the show. This is Nonsensical Nonsense. I am not taking big picks. That was last night. I checked by the whole Highlander thing and whatnot.
Speaker: But yeah, welcome back to Nonsense School Donsense. I'm Glick. Jeffrey's here. You had to go fix the gate or something. Mike is here. He's actually talking, finally. If you guys aren't already, feel free to follow us on social media. What? Hey, come on, man. I'm here. Focus. Follow us on social media. You know what? You know what? How about this? The next time that that happens,
Speaker: I want your memory to go to American wedding in the closet where the old lady smacks the dude on the chest saying, focus, focus, focus, no, I can't focus. But yeah, if you're not already, follow us on social media at nonsensical nonsense on Facebook, Instagram.
Speaker: Twitter TikTok. Yes. TikTok. We are on TikTok and so far I've only got myself to do TikTok videos. I can't get Tweedle D and Tweedle dumb to make a video, but I need to get on that. We all need to do a thirst trap. Well, I did do a few thirst traps, but I was thinking I remember all the stand up stuff I used to do. Yeah. I told you, I gave you the login information.
Speaker: I need to do it again. I need to either do it or just send me the videos and I'll post it either way, but I'll send, I'll resend you the info, whatever's used. Well, I was saying, I would send a video and send it to me. I was thinking about redoing some of them. What do you got to ask about the show? But yeah, you can follow us on, on all social media. You can join us live right here every Wednesday and Saturday night on it. First off, why am I in trouble?
Speaker: Go ahead and download the HAPS app and follow Nonsense for Nonsense. And you can also get every episode of the podcast on Anchor, Spotify, Google Play, Apple Podcast, basically anywhere and everywhere you get your little podcast and jollies from. You can come in here and hang out with us and listen to us, give us your two cents, all that fun jazz. And you can email us if you'd like.
Speaker: So go give us a like, give us a share, give Jeff and Mike the old double thumbing, just the way they like it. About the podcast special case. My headache has gone away. I noticed that. Well, I had to pop outside real quick. The gate I built for the front of the front of the side yard. The dogs jumped up against it and knocked it over. Jeff or you're in trouble.
Speaker: Yeah, pretty much. Look at the comments. Look at the comments. We're all in trouble, apparently. I don't know what I did wrong, but yeah. I need to do a few TikTok keys. Why am I in trouble? Because you didn't say hello to Tatted.
Speaker: I apologize. Oh my goodness. And you should. You know what? I usually do. You are sorry. You are sorry. Now apologize, Jeff. Jeez. I apologize profuse. That does not earn a sheep. That's not sheep worthy. That's a good one. That's a good t -shirt. That's not sheep worthy. Sheesh. Sheesh worthy.
Speaker: He who focus focus. I'm focused. I'm trying to I'm trying to find my intro. I'm trying to find my intro. Trust me, I'm focused. I'm in Japanese conversation. There's nothing to not be focused about that. He says Wade hurt feelings. Well, Jeff. Yeah, good job, Dick. Yes. Way to go, asshole.
Speaker: Alright boys all right boys we got part two we got part two of the four -part top ten list yes I'll let you have the whole thing tonight Jeffrey
Speaker: Well, you know what? It's funny. My wife and I got a discussion. We were... I bought MGM... You tell us what's funny. I got a fried chicken. Okay. I bought MGM, the channel, on Prime. Because it was only like three bucks. And I was scrolling through the movies on there and they had a movie with a young Jeff Bridges on it. And I went, holy shit!
Speaker: He was a good -looking cat back in the day. And my wife was like, he's still good -looking. I said, yes, but look at that picture from the 80s. Well, have you ever seen Starman? I think that was one of his earlier movies. Starman? That was actually a pretty decent movie. I've never seen that. Well, it's a sci -fi movie. He's an alien. Oh. All right, boys, let's focus. Let's get back to that. It's actually starring Lois Lane from the Superman and Sis. I didn't think I'd sanitize her. She's high.
Speaker: Yes, she was. Was it in the New Adventures of Lewis and Clark? No. Who? Not Terry Hatcher. Not Terry Hatcher, Terry Hatcher. The original original. Oh, you're talking about Anita O 'Toole. Yeah. Anita O 'Toole. She played the mom. The funny thing is, she played Lana Lang. No, not Anita O 'Toole. She played Lana Lang in Superman III. She played Lana Lang. But also played Mrs. Clark. And then she played Mrs. Clark. Yeah. No, I'm talking about the one that played
Speaker: Lois Lane in the original Superman movies. Okay, I don't know who you're talking about. She, she starred with Jeff Bridges. She also was an admin, admin miniville horror. Yeah, and did like frontal nude scene just for you, Jeff. Okay, okay, okay. Let's, let's, let's get, let's get back. You're welcome. Let's, let's focus, boys. Stacy's got it going on.
Speaker: We got, we got part two of the 40 facts. So funny. They're hard to believe. So we're going to go from 30 to 29, 30 to 30 to 21. 20, 20, 20, 20.
Speaker: What the hell is that from? I know what that is. It kept popping up on TikTok for the longest time, and now it's become a staple in my house. I don't have anything that's 21. We all sit there for five minutes going, 21? Don't watch. 21 is Jim Carrey having sex. It's not an image you want. 21? You're talking about 23, the movie 23. Whatever. That movie's fucked up. Yeah, it is. It's fucked up.
Speaker: Number 30 on the list. We did the 10 through 31 last week, or Saturday, not last week. So no, no. Boys, I am in trouble this weekend, just so you know. There you are. I've seen this woman, Mike. She's gorgeous. I saw a picture.
Speaker: Right? She's good looking. Way out of my league. Of her face. Of her face. Oh, I didn't want to say it, but yes, you are true. I saw her picture of her face. Well, it's not even, it's not even, it's not even, it's not even the physical thing. It's not even, yeah, it's not even, it's not even the physical thing either. It's like all around. My God, she's amazing. The accomplishments of this woman? Yeah, she's amazing. She's gonna, she's gonna let me, yes.
Speaker: She's gonna let me be a big ol' teddy bear and love on her and cuddle her and all that fun stuff. Whoo! What is it? Sheesh! Sheesh! Was that number 39? Just the whole package. Yeah, yeah, anyways. Can we go back to 39? We're going to 30. Mice jealous. Number 30, we are more prepped for the zombie invasion than you probably know.
Speaker: The actual U .S. Center for Disease Control and Prevention has a real website devoted to zombie preparedness. Please tell me they have said website. Jeffrey, let me read it again for those who weren't listening. No, no, no, no. Clearly. What I'm saying is, what I'm saying is tell me they have a link to said website. No, there's not a link, but... www .covidisreal .com.
Speaker: I will fucking cancel you right now, sir. I will cancel you in a heartbeat. I want you to say it. I'm so glad you didn't know me. I will cancel you. Shut up, Jeff. Oh, Jessica hit you with the shut up, Jeff. I know, right? Damn. Jessica, if you're going to tell them to shut up, you have to say it properly. Yeah, you're going to tell them to shut up. Shut up, mamas. It's like no fucking shit, you know? Number 29. Number 29 on the list. We have musical roads.
Speaker: I've seen that. I've seen it. There is a highway in Lancaster, California that plays William Tell's Overture or the theme from the Lone Ranger, whenever cars drive over 55 miles an hour. Yes, the road sinks. How cool would that be? It is actually really cool. There's a guy. He's actually done it. That makes sense. I do want to YouTube that now.
Speaker: Number 28, if you're the prayer type, people aren't always prayed for what you'd expect. According to a 2014 survey by a Christian retailer, Lifeway in Nashville, 7 % of Christian Americans pray for a parking spot. I'm not a Christian American, but I spend my Sundays praying for the Browns to win. I have never prayed for a parking spot. Yes.
Speaker: Number 27, some silly constitutional amendments never happened. A US constitutional amendment was proposed in 1893 suggesting the country be renamed the United States of Earth. There was another failed amendment a few years prior that wanted to abolish the presidency and install a Roman style
Speaker: sure I am very As if the United States needed any more conspiracy could Basically, they wanted like a Roman dictator where you know, like right? Yeah, the guy would stand up there to be like And and this so that the Senate still but the Senate still are you not hitter? Yeah Well, we're still we're still set up for that
Speaker: It's one of my favorite movies. That's why when everybody starts talking martial law, everybody gets worried. But moving on. Man, let us let us go to Greek -Roman style battles in the Colosseum. I will be a fucking champion. I'll be the goddamn king. I will kill both. I will kill both. I love Manchurian. Manchurian. I love the confidence, Glick.
Speaker: I love the confidence. I'm telling you right now, you wouldn't make it out of the gate. You know why? Shoot you in the face!
Speaker: That is actually incorrect, Jessica. They had beer as early as Egyptian times, ancient Egyptian times. Yes, they were. Actually, first of all, Jeffrey, as you learned many years ago, you already know you're safe with me. Like, if Thor ragged a rock, you'd be like the little guy. You'd be like the little guy. Yeah, you'd be like the little guy. Jeff would be like the little guy, meep, and Mike would be the rock guy. That's a little rock -paper -scissors joke for you.
Speaker: So the three of us, the three of us would run shit. Jeff already knows he's safe and Jeff already seen what kind of damage I can do. Here's the example I have. If anybody's seen the movie, 101 Dalmatians, when they're doing the all dogs alert. Which one? In the first one. The animated? Yeah, the animated. Okay. That's the original. When I mentioned 101 Dalmatians, I'm always mentioning them, I'm animated.
Speaker: Yes, you're safe, Teddy. And when it comes down to it, when they're doing the all -dogs alert, there's a little, little dog next to a big dog going, what's he saying, Danny? What's he saying? That's you. That's Joe. That's you. Just so you guys know. And Blick is the dog from Aristocats saying, I'm the leader. I'll tell you when to go. Let's go. Just so you guys know, you guys got to thank you.
Speaker: from your comments. Got it. Oh, well, tell him to stay focused. Damn it. Did you I am focused on Friday? Did you could you say it about you know what this show? It's not about me. We don't need to ask about what I would. I'm not anyways. Number 26.
Speaker: Number 26. Go ahead. What were we going to say? Well, I was just saying, to add on to the thank you, I would like to reiterate something I said in the very beginning of the podcast. Once you start diddling that pooter, she is no longer a female to me. Oh, yeah. Because the rule is this, Michael, and this is something you should know.
Speaker: For instance, and I'm gonna use Michael's example. Michael, you meet a woman. That woman is no longer, and you start doing stuff with her sexually. That woman is no longer a woman to me because that is your company. Yeah, okay, yes, become a company. That woman is no longer a woman to me because a real man does not scam on his friend's chicks. Because I am not a fortune teller by any means.
Speaker: But I made a bold prediction that by Saturday, when I left a certain label that somebody has had for a little while, she will no longer have. Very nice. Well, that's that's actually what happened to me and Cheyenne. Rebecca, welcome. Welcome, Rebecca. When I met Cheyenne, she was a fake friend. I thought he was a real friend, but he's a fake guy. Cheyenne. Cheyenne, yeah.
Speaker: They were talking and then. Who was talking? And that's how we became friends. I'm so confused. Who the hell was talking to who? When I met Cheyenne, she was talking to our buddy. Oh, okay. Okay. That's what I thought you were talking about. Our, our, our mutual friend. The guy. Once again, once again, anybody that goes after another man's a friend. Were you really?
Speaker: Oh, no. You're tainted. You're tainted, mama's, from now on. No, she's not. She is not. She is not tainted. She is not tainted. She is not tainted. And I'm going to tell you why. She is not tainted. And I'm going to tell you why. Have you guys watched American Pie, the first one? I will. I will. I will. Remember the naughtiest scene? Remember the naughtiest scene? Yes.
Speaker: with him in the pants. That's it. That's that. Yeah. Well, I will. I will say and then he took a hand. Yeah. Yeah. Our mutual friend. I've heard stories about him, but I wish he would have succeeded in what he thought him and his friend were going to do one night because it would have saved me three fucking years. But you remember,
Speaker: Remember, this is when me and Quick really got close, was me and him, he did a tiki talk about that scene between, it was a garden. No, that does not have to be the last one. It was basically, it was us.
Speaker: Talk about fighting. Holy smokes. And our mutual friend, after I duetted him on that, he just started talking all kinds of crap about how it would be like if we really did fight. And I messaged Glick, and I was like, look what this asshole said. And we've been bragging on him ever since. It's just been terrible.
Speaker: No, but I'm gonna reiterate and explain this the best way I can. In the movie, in the movie, Clark Stu, the two main characters, one says, the minute he started diddling her pooter, you no longer, you became a generalist person to me because no matter how lucky she is. I cannot focus.
Speaker: Well, that's why I'm listening. No, I'm listening. No matter how good looking the person is, if she is with you, she is no longer female to me. She is completely, I'm completely oblivious to anything she has that could prompt me. Hmm.
Speaker: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Which video are you watching? The one you sent me. That's nothing bad, by the way. No, I was going to say. This is what she looks like. I got one more day to watch that video.
Speaker: Well, it was like I made the comment that, you know, your wife sent me that video of you almost chitin' your pants. Right. And my first thought was, what the hell is she doing? And then I heard it and I was just like, she got him. The funny thing is she was literally making a video for her Facebook page.
Speaker: Yeah. Well, to send to one of her friends and I'm literally in the background. I just got yelled at. I just got yelled at to focus. Stop sending Snapchats. No, don't stop sending Snapchats. Shut up, Jeffrey. Yeah, and I'm just going to - Stop sending Snapchats for the next 30 minutes.
Speaker: I'm just, no, don't stop sending stamp chats, Edward. I'm just gonna make one comment that we've talked about. Yes, one arm will do the trick. I guarantee it. She don't think I can get one of my arms around her and hold her with one arm. And I'm gonna say, and I'm gonna get, I'm not allowed to say this. I'm not allowed to say the T word. Then don't say it. But she's a tiny little thing. Yeah, she is.
Speaker: So I had no doubt in my mind that just... Anyways... Can we... Can we... Can we... Let's go back to work... Grab a napkin and wipe that drool off your chin. Let me just do this for... Oh yes. Yes.
Speaker: Can we go back to work now? Yes, let's continue. You're no anonymous Facebook user. Glick, I'm sorry, we're all ruined. You're not ruining any moment. Number 26. One Door Asian town has a super ironic name. Is it the one that's called... It's like hawks or pussies or some shit like that, isn't it? No. What the hell's wrong with me? There's a village in Southern Norway. Someone thinks about his cocks and balls.
Speaker: There's a village in Southern Norway, actually named. That's an interesting name. Right? I named that village. The spelling on that has got to be really bad. I named that village. Is it four lines or six Gs? 48 letters. 48 letters, three vowels. Relevant to answer your question. Oh, there's another one that just committed suicide.
Speaker: If you're talking to a real man, that's how a man talks about his woman. So that's how it is. There's a village in southern Norway actually named Hell. And it gets this name because every winter, it literally freezes over. Nice. That's funny. I've seen the sign from this town. It says, welcome to Hell freezes over.
Speaker: I've seen the sign. Don't get your money when hell freezes over. Oh, shit. Number number 25, Neil Degrassi Tyson. Surprisingly, other career path isn't. My bad, Degrassi. Degrassi. Neil Degrass Tyson. OK. But his other his other career path isn't what you would have guessed.
Speaker: While while he was in graduate graduate graduate school for astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson considered becoming a stripper to earn extra money. According to an interview with University on TV, I don't want to see that naked. I would really hope you don't want to ever see any male.
Speaker: But I do know you've gone to the male school clubs and you hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Jeff, I've known you for a little while now and I have to say that is the gayest thing you've ever said yet. Oh, sir, you need to please stop a couple episodes. Yeah, right. Go back to episode 14. OK, guys. Sorry, so short. No worry, Jess. Hopefully you got your your water leak and water issues taken care of.
Speaker: But number 24 one programmer had an unusual way of weaning himself off of Facebook Manesh Sethi a computer programmer hired a woman at $8 an hour to slap him in the face every time he tried checking Facebook during his work hours smartphone addiction smartphone addiction is real my friends
Speaker: Here's the thing Social media is designed by design to be addictive How many times have you opened up tiktok and four hours later go fuck? I'm still in this fucking app. I
Speaker: I don't do that. I don't spend a whole lot of time on social media. But anyways, number 23, a bridge for squirrels exists. A town in Washington has a treetop bridge over a busy road that's just big enough for squirrels. It's called the Nutty Narrows Bridge. Admit it, that's undeniably funny.
Speaker: On top of that, I guarantee you there's still dead squirrels cross that street. Squirrels are assholes. Squirrels aren't going to be like, should I take the bridge or risk it? No, they're always going to risk it.
Speaker: Number number, number 22, some passengers go to insane links to avoid baggage fees. In 2012, a man wore 60 shirts and nine pairs of jeans on an 11 and a half hour flight from China to Africa because he did not want to pay the extra baggage fee. Wow. He was in a sauna, wasn't he?
Speaker: Oh, shit. Now, I've done that like baseball carry on. I'm talking about for like a 45 minute hour, hour and a half flight. How long do you think before he had swatted ass? That bottom pair of jeans and shirt. Oh, he had to throw those away. I guarantee he just threw those away. He's like, you know, after the third time washing, it still smells like my ass.
Speaker: Well, here's the thing. Never again will I be on a flight longer than three hours. I've been on those 22 -hour flights. I don't know. Well, you're a military. I've never been on a flight more than an hour and a half. You know what I've always wanted to do? I've always wanted to take those flights to Japan
Speaker: that had like the beds, you know, it's almost like a hotel in the air type thing. Yeah, but still, here's the problem for me. That made your nuts hurt, did it, Cheyenne? Oh, smoke, yeah. Yeah, that was another great thing. Even a three hour flight is like, fuck me. That was another, that was another great thing about the 90s and early 2000s, like airports had these great rooms called smoke rooms.
Speaker: Once you get on the fucking plane, you cannot smoke. Oh, fuck me. For 22 hours? That'll put a gun barrel on your mouth, right? Real quick. Yeah, well, that's why they... Yeah, they don't really like that either. Because I did that on the flight to Mexico City when this guy kicked off. I need something, buddy.
Speaker: cold shower. Um, maybe, maybe like, maybe like a little identity card that you have to swipe just Friday. I think, I think I'm, I think we're going to write Friday morning. Here's what's going to happen Friday morning. We're going to get messages from Chris. Six more hours.
Speaker: Yeah, you don't think you're gonna go through the account for that? Look, look, look, look. Okay, I got one more, I got one more. I got one more, I got one more, then we can dive into that real quick. So number 21, President Coolidge had a child on a sense of humor. What's going on, Tony D? Believe it or not, the 30th US President thought it was hilarious to push the emergency buzzer on his desk and then hide when the Secret Service came out.
Speaker: That would be something that I would go with. I would do that. I would be like, I think that's making something funny. No, yeah. No, that would be me. If I was the president, 100%, like the nuclear war button, I'd flip the case open and be like, I'm not touching it. I'm not touching it. No, no, take it easy. Where is he? If Chris was ever president, here's what would happen.
Speaker: day one in the oval office he's arguing with his secret security staff come on fight me it'll be fun i think i can i can fucking take you i know i can't i'm the fucking president it's my fucking country i run this bitch i run this bitch i will fight all of you at the same time god damn it and god forbid he ever gets on the phone with with the fucking
Speaker: South North Korea. I will whoop your ass motherfucker. Listen here. Listen here you little fucking fucker. I'm like 40 feet taller than you. I'm a beat your ass. You don't think I can't do it? Where's the moose at? I'll show you. You be the moose. The greatest gadget ever installed into the White House was by Donald Trump.
Speaker: He had a button on his desk that was for Diet Coke. He would hit the button, and I've got to walk in with a Diet Coke and go, sir, I kid you not. That is true fact. That is awesome. So, yeah, so that's part two. Chris's would be for beer, but whatever. Yeah, well, I would just have kegs, like kegerators installed on them. They're all the secret panels.
Speaker: And then when the news starts going like press it today and today our news president quick is drunk again and then next thing no
Speaker: President Glick is on the TV going, I did not ingest. I tasted it. That was it. I did not. I just tasted it. No, I don't. Fuck it out. Screaming at North Korea. I will fuck you up. Let's settle this man. Let's settle this man demand me versus you. I got you. I will represent America and you will represent North Korea. Let's go little man.
Speaker: I beat a kangaroo's ass. The president had a bear and a kangaroo delivered to the White House so he could fight them on the front lawn in the Rose Garden. Breaking news, President Glick fired his Secret Service and he was quoted saying they were a bunch of pussies.
Speaker: When asked about it in the interview, President Glick said, I fought a bear motherfucker, I got this. While he chugged a Budweiser. And then he threw the Budweiser empty can at the interviewer's head.
Speaker: and said, shut the fuck up, Jeff. The funny thing is, the interviewer's name was Kevin. The interviewer was quoted as saying, my name's not Jeff. This motherfucker still thinks he's on a podcast. Yeah, we're still doing the podcast as a president.
Speaker: I am unavailable Wednesday and Saturday night. In today's news, President Glick pardoned his co -hosts from the podcast for murdering a bear in Yellowstone Park. Mike and I are on TV going, we're unfucking touchable!
Speaker: And breaking news, Chris rewrote, or President Glick rewrote history, and he is now serving his third term. I am the king! You will never be arrogant! Because all of Congress, all of Congress is afraid to argue with him!
Speaker: I'm in that house with Senate or whatever the fuck it's called. I'm like, oh, you don't like what I have to say? Fight me! Let's go outside, motherfucker! Let's see what happens! Wait, what? Come on! Let's go! All senators from California quit right away day one. For the first time in history, the House of Representatives have all agreed.
Speaker: Goddamn Murica, baby Do donuts bro
Speaker: Come on man, you've seen Fast and Furious. We got this. You've seen Tokyo Drift. Do it. I'll bet you a hundred bucks you can't do it. Little One has been changed to a fucking lifted truck. With a 50 cal on the back.
Speaker: Yeah, you got a picture of President Putin riding a horse shirtless. For President Glick, you got me riding the back of a jacked up ass truck with a 50 cal. In other news today, President Glick spray painted nonsensical nonsense on the side of Air Force One.
Speaker: Stop shaking the name of Nonsense Go Nonsense one! We own the blade motherfuckers! We run this shit! We done took over the world baby! President Glick and Secretary of State Jeff went to NASA saying we need to put Nonsense Go Nonsense on the side of the spaceship.
Speaker: President Click arrested today for trying to pull funds into the podcast. Breaking news, President Click acquitted himself.
Speaker: The Supreme Court said, well, I'm not fucking going up against him. Let him out. I'm not doing it. What's another billion dollars? He was quoted in the front yards, in the front lawn screaming, are you not entertained?
Speaker: That folks is why we're going to be impressive. Vice President Jeff said, do it. I am Frank. Do it. Hold your beer. Yeah, I got your beer. Breaking news. Breaking news. Glick was reported to having a bottomless pit dug in the backyard of the White House and kicking people in screaming, this is America. This is America.
Speaker: America. Oh Lord we are stupid. This just in President Glick declared war on Texas. Boston, Texas. You are so fucked. This just in President Glick declared the Boston accent illegal.
Speaker: This just didn't present. Glick changed his name to ruler of all Glick. Well Vice President Jeff sat there and shrugged. Glick declared himself the ruler of the world.
Speaker: Oh Lord. Oh.
Speaker: All countries are afraid to fight back. Putin said, I'm good. Yeah, I'm good. I just want to drink beer. Hey, you got beer? Break your vodka, Putin. I'll bring the Budweiser. You bring the vodka. This does stand for President Putin.
Speaker: president Putin I don't have a dog in that fight go for it no um I said chaff yeah um
Speaker: Glitz gonna be busy fucking Friday. He can help me get this computer shit because my phone is like... Yeah, give me a call and we'll walk you through it. You got your computer. My phone is done froze up like 30 times in the... My phone does not like apps. Don't use the app on your computer. Use the website. Alright boys, I'm gonna...
Speaker: Shit my sides hurt now. I know right. Oh I'm gonna there's a t -shirt click for president Look for president. I like it. There's no nonsense click for president Yeah, because but it's ego isn't inflated enough over the last couple weeks. No let's add presidency on top also have to make this
Speaker: Oh no, the stable shirt is the stable shirt is a must. Uh, daddy, you know, daddy, she wants a Glick for president. I think we can make it happen. We can make it happen. Let me, uh, you know, I'll get on there. Who's going to fight me? All right. Oh, the front nonsensical nonsense Glick for president and on the back. Who's going to fight me? Underneath, underneath there's like a little,
Speaker: little, uh, to -do list. It's got bear, kangaroo moves. It's really, you need to make a, I'm gonna, I'm gonna see if I can design it. Glick Hawk presidency. Yeah. Glick Hawk. You know, Glick Hawk presidency. Yeah. Mike can be a secretary of defense or something. I don't know what his job would be, but he could have a job.
Speaker: Apparently, as important as it is on this podcast, no job whatsoever. I'm just here. No, no, no, no, no. I'm going to do a arrival to the show. Yeah, I mean.
Speaker: Basically both of you guys literally just turn your camera on
Speaker: Come out with a beer by here, which one of you sons of bitches want to ask me a question?
Speaker: We see that you
Speaker: You declared war on everyone. And you don't want guns. You just want to fight everybody. What is up with that? Uh, duh. I fought a bear. I need a challenge. I fought a bear and a kangaroo in the same night. Oh, good Lord.
Speaker: That is, that is my goal is to take her for the world and start with presidency. But with that being said, what do you want to do tonight? The same thing we do every night. Another thing we do every night. But with that being said, we do got to end the show. I'm going to pull a Jeffrey. I'm going to pull the break because I need at least a few minutes.
Speaker: I don't know why you had the whole goddamn show, apparently. Well, you know, when, when, when, when, when opportunity knocks, Michael, you gotta be there to open the door. You, not only you, you, you grab the door and you swing it open like a raging lunatic, jump and you jump all over opportunity. And especially when that opportunity that shows up is
Speaker: And to believe at the end of the day it all started with one Corning cheesy ass line that I never thought she would respond to That she's probably heard a million times
Speaker: was she posted a picture on Snapchat and I said all of a sudden I have the urge to drive to Cincinnati and commit every crime possible. The line I used on my wife worked perfectly. The line you used on your wife was, you want some candy little girl?
Speaker: Here's the funny thing. The line I used with my wife was, hey, would you like a cigarette? Now here's how awesome my wife was. She doesn't smoke, but said, sure. Sure. Why not? No. I mean, that's how awesome she was. I mean, I know she, I like.
Speaker: Yes, yes a movie reference in a car reference in a Nic Cage reference. Yes Does that mean before she before she comes over are you gonna be like Donny lowrider
Speaker: You're gonna have to put your jacket on and go, Donny, lowrider, please. Let's ride. Let's ride. Oh, my. No, she's awesome. I've never been this excited to meet anybody in person and to talk to somebody and whatnot. It's crazy.
Speaker: Well, I have to say, I am truly happy for you, sir. And I wish you both the best. And if you don't show up on Saturday, we will totally understand. I'll be here Saturday. With the big, I'll be here Saturday with the big, stupid smile on my face. And she'll be calling off work because she can't walk. Maybe. And then I might not be here Saturday, but never the last. Will you chill out?
Speaker: But I'll start the podcast and I'll let you guys, I'll let the monkeys run the asylum. This is like, uh, welcome to nonsense, go nonsense. I'm out. Deuces. It's Jeff and Mike tonight. She yes. Tannen says, good night guys. Let's go get it. Let, let him go talk to the.
Speaker: Yeah, I do need to go. I want to go talk to her for a few minutes. I know we got to get to bed soon. But we're going to end this the only way we know how. A little black top mojo. Thank you guys for hanging out. Appreciate you guys. Mike, Jeff, I love you guys. Another awesome show. You know, we had fun. If you guys aren't already going, check us out. No, don't worry about that. Don't worry about that. It happens. All our technical difficulties. If you guys aren't already, go ahead and start for like 25, 30 minutes.
Speaker: Several episodes Jeff didn't even show up for, but if you guys aren't already, he'll give us a follow on social media. If you guys aren't already, give us a follow on social media at Nonsense School Nonsense on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok.
Speaker: You can also catch us live every Wednesday and Saturday night right here on Haps. You can join the chatters box and hang out with us.
Speaker: It's a free app, go download it and give us a follow. And you can get every single episode of Nonsense Will Nonsense on Anchor, Spotify, Google Play, Apple Podcasts, basically anywhere and everywhere you get your little podcasts and jollies from. So go give us a like, go give us a follow, go give us a share, and most importantly, give the gentlemen, Jeffrey and Michael, the old double thumbing.
Speaker: And you can also email us. We are much like Maxwell House. We are always good to the last drop. I came into that. Fair enough. I'll take it. We need to figure out how to get something like that on a t -shirt. Yes. Hashtag. Good to the last old shit, Chuck. Hashtag GlickHawk2024.
Speaker: But the only way we know how to end this show is with a little blacked out mojo, ladies and gentlemen. I've told you twice, I'm telling you for the third time, if you're not listening to them, if you're not following them, go do it and tell them that we sent you with a little wicked omen.
Speaker: She locks the knot, she locks the blood on her hands She dances naked through the trees until it rots away She whispers prayers into the wind and she communes with the dead
Speaker: She throws the bones into the fire in darkness she can't Raise the blade above her head As I began to breathe, she said Oh, mother in the sky Take this sacrifice I wanna live far
Speaker: Maybe you can't lie to you Around the world, a thousand eyes look on and she's out to feast There was a smile on her face and she watched me
Speaker: Sir, can I help you? Do you have any weapons of any kind? Anything to defend yourself? Sir, this is a Speedy Mart. We have hot dogs too for a dollar. I just put them on the roller yesterday. They're pretty good.
Speaker: No, man, like something sharp something like I can stab defend myself with I've got some sharp Twitter combos Well, let me just take one of these lighters and I'm gonna borrow your books and Can I borrow your bathroom key as well? Yeah bathroom key. All right
Speaker: I got your bathroom key right there. Make sure you bring that back. And that'll be... And it's really like six feet tall. And I'm gonna have to have exact time, so we're in a court shortage at the moment. Whatever, man. Okay. Yeah, but he has guns and ammunition behind him. Oh, I'm sorry. And he just paid $14. There it is, Mr. Jeffers.
Speaker: Kill me on the bus, make me a dog like you
Speaker: Oh shit Chuck. Oh shit Chuck. Oh shit Chuck. Oh shit Chuck.
Speaker: Make real God like you Make real God like you Deuces Michael Peace out
Speaker: goodbye motherfuckers.
