Transcript
Speaker: Thanks.
Speaker: Yes. Yes.
Speaker: Yeah! We are Sam's Good Night. That's kind of crazy. I haven't done this one in a little bit, but welcome to Nonsense with Nonsense. I'm not Tony D with me.
Speaker: Chris is not here. We'll explain why. He's been kidnapped. He's gone back to his family in the woods. But we are live on YouTube Twitch, man. He's getting his ass re -assimilated. Yeah, he is. What's up, man? He's starting to talk. His ass re -assimilated. We are live. Check this out. We are nonsense. Go down and sense. Everywhere you find streaming. Jesus.
Speaker: Mark was going on Chris technician was going on fireman rich was going on. Damn. What's happening everybody? This is great. Now, this is gonna since we are on all social media platforms Facebook YouTube Twitch can also find us on Twitter We are on all podcasted platforms, especially spotify and all of their affiliates and cohorts and Coet connections and confirmations and concoctions and
Speaker: Conno, this and all. Let's save you. How you doing? Damn it. You got any problems with concerns? I got a lot of C's on me. At gmail .com. Oh, one word. You're there as a whole lot of C's. Jeff is eating. No, you forgot. You forgot a C. We'll see. Chris is a cunt. How are you today, sir? He said that I didn't. Man, I'm chilling. How's everybody doing out there? Yes, Chris is not here. He is...
Speaker: but uh let me know when I just showed out of two hours. Look at the title of the show. You'll see exactly exactly. Y 'all gotta he's officially not our problem. I'm just saying never has been
Speaker: But now we're chilling. Thanks everybody for coming through. Put the word out, let them know to come on in, check this out, take it easy out here, come have some fun, all that good stuff. Jeff, what's going on in your world? Oh, dude, it's been a crazy day. But I've accepted your challenge. I beg your pardon? I've accepted your challenge. Which was? Well, the other day you talked about the fact that you're shocked that I eat so much.
Speaker: That you what? That I eat so much in a single sentence. Well, to my own fault, to my own fault, I math wrong while ordering food. And I ordered Burger King today from me and the kids and I got a family combo that has four burgers, four fries.
Speaker: And then I was like, is that gonna be enough for the kids? Two burgers for me, two burgers for the burger. I'll get two more burgers just in case the kids get hungry. Well, apparently it's not four burgers, four fries. It's six burgers, four fries, and two drinks. In other words, you need Jesus, keep going. No, in other words, I have four burgers to eat myself and I will eat them because I'm starving.
Speaker: I don't make this stuff up, ladies and gentlemen. And I'm halfway through the first one. I mean, it's a junior whopper. It's not even a junior whopper. It's a barbecue, bacon, with onion rings, burger. It's fucking good. More of them? Only two. Only two. First two. And then I got a full whopper and one of those King Ranch things. I'm hungry, sir.
Speaker: You can't map it. Exactly, man. You can't map, but he can eat. And Chris, technician, I agree. Damn, Jeff, there's your dinner report. There's your dinner report. The fries from Burger King, I'm not a fan. What? Fuck it. What is going on down there in your neck of the woods, should I say? Because I saw the news about two hours ago where a bus fell into a ravine. Oh, that's not even close to me. There's no ravines around here.
Speaker: I didn't say so, but damn. Cancun is very flat and boring. However, on the 30th, one of the hotels caught fire. Oh, shit. Yeah, I obviously didn't know about it because I don't leave the house, God forbid. But I did. I woke up in the morning and I clicked on
Speaker: Tick -tock and on tick -tock they have a thing where you can do, you know for you page your Like friends or people you follow. Mm -hmm. They have your state. Uh -huh And I was like, yeah, let's see what's going on in my state. I was thinking about some hold on one second. Hey boys Look what I got here Hey, where are the white women at I
Speaker: I don't make this shit up. Shout out to Golf Hall Canada. What does it take to send a letter to Canada? Who's it going to? Canada. It says, dear Canada. F*** you. Quite frankly, let me go ahead and say we need a new Canada intro because that's some bullshit. That's hilarious. It's not hilarious. It is hilarious. Dude, when I saw that. Have you seen that show? No, I haven't watched that show. Okay, so, so.
Speaker: and then right around the same time Parks and Recreation came out, that community show came out and I tried to watch community hated it and I was very afraid that I would not like Parks and Recreation.
Speaker: Well, I actually found something today.
Speaker: I found something today. I woke up as a normal day. And the first thing I do is, you know, I do this. Tony killed a live. Oh, forget it. No, but I saw a video today and I was like, I have to show that to the boys. Is it wild wings or wild buffalo, wild wings? What's the rest of it? Well, I thought I saw wild wings.
Speaker: but Mrs. is still talking about those fractional cameras about the fast food. I just had Wild Wing Cafe, I had a salad. There was a ton of Wing Charts. Yeah. Oh yeah. We also forgot, we also forgot one very important aspect. Honestly, ladies and gentlemen, this show is properly now being sponsored by. What's going on everybody? It's your boy Glick and it's summertime, which means it's festival season and we're all gearing up to see some of our favorite bands. Here's some of our favorite songs. Party all night long.
Speaker: and probably drank way more than we should in these hot, hot temperatures. And we might forget how essential it is to stay hydrated. But don't you worry, Liquid IV has you covered. Did you know with just one stick of Liquid IV in 16 ounces of water, hydrates you faster and more efficiently than water alone. And three times faster than these sports drinks that we all know and love. So go grab you some, maybe some of your favorite flavors like mine, tropical parch, watermelon, strawberry, and passion fruit.
Speaker: Go ahead and head over to liquidiv .com. Use our promo code. Words are hard and get 20 % off of everything you order.
Speaker: This show was properly sponsored by liquid IV. Ladies and gentlemen, you're the promo code. Words are hard. Good. Congratulations. Yes. Rich. Yes. Rich Buffalo Wild Wings and Wild Wings Cafe. Let me know which one I'm sorry. Mandy. Yes. I did go to a way place that got me a monster. It's called the wild chef salad. Get that shit. Go ahead. Jeff, my apologies. No, I was just saying, speaking of liquid IV, I'm not a big water guy. But
Speaker: I was like, you know, if I'm going to have to drink water, cause I, you know, as we know, I constantly drink Coke and shit for me. I said, if I'm going to drink water, I want flavored water. I like a flavor. So I ordered. Look what I mean. It's on the way. I was looking at it. And I used our promo code. We weren't talking about promo code.
Speaker: But, so. Bill collecting, keep going. No, fuck up. So anyways, as I was saying, I was scrolling through TikTok as I do. And I came across this song. Now it's only, what is it? A minute? A minute 44. But it is, as Tony D would say,
Speaker: This man spits fire. Who? The video I'm about to play. I never say that shit, first of all. Yeah, old horse hockey. Old school hip -hop. I'm old school hip -hop. We don't say that shit. Well, OK. Well, this man speaks the truth. What I say is motherfuckers will rap their ass off. Let's go. Well, it's not really a rap. It's a song. Nobody here said spit fire. They got it from the stand. I see it all the time. Because you watched the Dave Chappelle show. You ain't fooling nobody. I know where you got it from. Anyways.
Speaker: I have ADHD and it's really bad. No. Right? I know, crazy, right? Sorry, wait. Hold on. I got something. Who would die? I know she would die.
Speaker: Sorry, I have to put this out there. Spoiler alert, I have ADHD. And I want the official proof. Oh, trust me, I do. A little hasten my tolerance. But this song is a real kind of insight onto ADHD. Is it going to flag the show? No, it will not. Are you sure? I promise. You're notorious for getting the show flagged. No, I don't think it will. But that's my point right down there.
Speaker: No, for the simple fact, it's like I looked, it's not on Spotify, it's not anywhere else but TikTok. And also for the simple fact that you have ADHD, I want to ask you again, are you sure it's not going to get the show flagged? 60%. Exactly. No, but let's go and play it. And I'd like to hear your thoughts on it, sir.
Speaker: A deficit of the attention and heavier activity isn't the name But you can be one or the other cause it doesn't have to be one and the same Hyper fixation and procrastination and new ideas every day Depression or issues with our motivation and not hurting what you will say We will be motivated in what we are doing Important engaging our funds Organization prioritization will typically struggle a ton
Speaker: We pace and we fidget with every digit and have a hard time sitting still. We hit the canteen for a cup of caffeine cause it's kinda like taking a pill. There's uppers and downers and over -the -counters and that eat our presents galore. But everyone thinks that we lie to the shrinks so that we can just get us some more. There's the chain of our thoughts on its own getting lost and now we are forgetting to eat. Our brains never stop with the cyclical buzz but we struggle with cycles for sleep.
Speaker: We're sensitive to our rejection, but we can forget that a person exists. The same thing can happen with everyday items, I call it object permanence. We're loud and we finish your sentences, and we will argue with you for the fun. You call us annoying, but you are just boring, and so is your conversation. There's destructive behavior, an impossible syndrome, and some of us struggle to read. Brain fog is common, but we're problem solving and dealing with all the mood swings.
Speaker: We're prone to addiction, and it is a fiction to think we don't pace on the phone. If we body double, we'll stay out of trouble, cause we suck on working alone. We're prone to anxiety, thrive on variety, add venturis in the bed. Our memories suck, so it will be our luck that we keep random facts in our heads. So if you feel like lots of the stuff in this song, or the things that you feel every day, then here is my honest suggestion for you. Find a professional, there'll be discretion, no other, but set up addiction, and have your negativity isn't the name.
Speaker: I must have heard that song like 12 times. I get that it's silly, but like everything he said, I have. I thought that was kind of cool. Mental health awareness story. That's what it is. Uh, yes, golf ball. That is a milestone in your court. Number one. Number two.
Speaker: Jeff. I got you rich. You got that from Animaniacs. It's actually pretty dope. It is. It is. The original song is from Animaniacs. That guy obviously remade it. We did all the countries in the world and that was fucking awesome. Fucking phenomenal. That was awesome for an animated cartoon in the 90s. That was an education that motherfuckers missed when they didn't have Schoolhouse Rock. I said it.
Speaker: And if you haven't seen it, everybody to go online, pull up Animaniacs. When they do countries over the world, it was phenomenal. Iconic. Oh, 100%. Yeah, it was part of my soundtrack of my life. Yeah, the clip's not there. It's in the chat, but it doesn't come up as well. I got you rich.
Speaker: Y 'all check out Fireman Rich for real, for real, for real. My man has been very supportive of myself as well as others. Over the past couple of years, Christa Ignatius has been supportive of myself as well as others. Legulatee01, follow her, she's been supportive. Golf Hawk, still waiting on his championship belt from the fantasy football league where everybody told me I was supposed to put money else so we can get a belt. He ain't got a belt yet, I'm gonna ask. Yeah, I forgot to ask.
Speaker: Go for one last season. Go for one like a mug. What the hell is going on in the world? Oh, Tony. I have a question for you, sir. Oh, shit. Yeah.
Speaker: See, see what people don't know is that when my feet hit the floor in the morning, Tony goes, oh shit, he's up again. Pretty fucking much. But Tony, did you hear about what happened, Chris? Yes, I did. And should we announce? No. I think it's our duty to announce. No, it's not. No, it's not. As the best friend.
Speaker: No, it's not. Tony, don't steal my joy. I'm stealing all your fucking food. I'm stealing your joy. No, I will, I will, I will hold back. I will give you to the end of the episode first. Understood. I mean, it could change, it could change by the end of the month. Let's be honest. It's supposed to change by the end of the band, bro. But, but the bet.
Speaker: The bet that they had was lost. And I actually called Nikki this morning and it was her happy birthday. And she said that Chris set her up to fail. I don't believe so. I kind of do. I'm sorry, but
Speaker: Only because Glick is on my nerves, I kind of do. Tell me that you didn't see it coming a mile away. I forgot who I said was going to lose the other day, honestly. Well, I snapped out why she was going to lose and you kind of jumped on the bandwagon and she was going to lose. Did I? I think.
Speaker: I honestly don't remember, I honestly don't remember so I don't know. But for a while you were kind of saying it was Glick, and then when I snapchatted you were like, oh yeah, Nikki's gonna lose. Well, okay, I remember saying, being that it is her birthday, she was gonna lose and that she deserves leeway, because it's her birthday and people are gonna send her messages. I believe I did say that. And I even said her, I was, was a hard is one. Word, Golf Hall, appreciate that. I appreciate that.
Speaker: I want to go ahead and admit to you, I think Glick is ecstatic about this. That's a big move for him. Honestly, all jokes aside, people who are supportive, people who hate, let's be clear, a man got his sponsorship. He is the Ross to this podcast. I'm sorry. He got his sponsorship. I got to give it to him. You got your sponsorship, dude. Congratulations. Seriously. All that good stuff. Considering.
Speaker: Considering everything fuck it It's one of those things where You know, of course when Chris and I started the show we were like, oh, yeah, we're gonna be bigger than fucking Joe Rooker We never thought we actually would And we're not obviously
Speaker: But it's one of those things like the fact that we're getting sponsored regardless of how much we get paid or whatever, it's kind of cool. And Tony just dipped out. I think he's messing with his computer. But I think it's very cool that we are sponsored. It's not something I expected to happen for another couple of years. But it is what it is. Oh, thank God he didn't shut the show down.
Speaker: Yeah, you shut down the show down there for a second. I kept talking and then I was like, wait a minute. Okay. Okay. That was on me. I was trying to clean my board off. Yeah, I could see it. I saw you doing that and I was like, he's going to kill the show. Look up. Yes. I counted wrong. There's still three more sandwiches in there. I've had two already. This is a monster.
Speaker: So Rick Ross has hurt himself.
Speaker: Rip Ross, the rapper, intentionally made a huge splash after he suffered his epic diving fail at his palatial pool in Georgia over the weekend. Which means he's trying to do a fucking cannibalist. His ass and DJ Khaled did stop doing crazy shit. I think DJ Khaled's hilarious. I'll win again. It's a season. And he's got a knee injury. Yeah, but they're big dudes, though.
Speaker: Yeah, kind of like par for the course with big dudes. Yeah, but I'm sorry. There's nothing cooler than a fat guy doing a cannonball. Well, you try to do a double decker splash is what it says. I mean, I started roller skating a long time ago. So wait, what's a double decker splash? I have no idea. I mean,
Speaker: I have no idea. I'm just being honest. This is like, like I was doing back flips in the pool and I had three of them. I thought I was going to die. I saw your ass. I didn't know a fucking about it. Well, you know, it's one of those things. Okay. Uh, I actually, one of the reasons why I called Nikki today was, was she posted pictures of fireworks. God damn it. Golf walk. I don't have one yet.
Speaker: She posted what with fireworks? She posted photos and videos of the fireworks. Mm hmm. Well, here, obviously on the 4th of July, they don't have fireworks. Man, they've been shooting fireworks since Thursday around here. Oh, I don't doubt it. Literally since Thursday. But it, I was, I sent her, I sent her a message. I said, you know what, thank you for posting that. I don't get a full on fireworks down here. At least one's that are worth a damn. Right.
Speaker: And, but since it was the 4th of July, I'm sitting in a house and I'm like, oh, fuck it, let's go to the pool. Took the kids to the pool and took the phone with me full battery. We took a bunch of videos where kids are jumping in the pool and then they're egging me on. Do a flip man, do a flip. So I said, if I'm gonna do it, I want it filmed. So I hand the phone to Kevin.
Speaker: And I do the first flip. He's like, I said, are you ready? He says, yeah. Go. I do the flip. He took a photo, not video. I was like, damn it. Then, so I climb out of the pool, I get back over there, and I get ready to do another flip. He's like, are you recording? He says, I'm recording. It's OK. I can edit the video. I go to Chump, and Michelle walks for the camera.
Speaker: And I was like, really? I'm 42 years old. I can't be doing this too much. I'm gonna fucking die. Exactly. So it's like, look, I'm doing one more. If it's recorded or there's not, I don't give a fuck. You don't give a fuck, exactly. And so I did the third one and it was the worst one out of the bunch. And I was like, fucking, I'm not doing another one post. Quick edit to cut off the,
Speaker: Gibber jabber back and forth between the two of us. And I posted it, but oh my gosh. I saw you diffusing everything. Well, you had a good time. Well, you had fun. I'm paying for it now. It's called exercise. I'm 42, and my kids were like, we're faster in the water than you are, dad. I said, well, you weigh more than they do. Well, I said, listen here, little boy. That's not happening. Little boy, damn.
Speaker: Kevin learned to swim within three weeks of moving into this house. And Michelle just learned how to swim. If you don't watch him, Tony, they'll be in the pool before you even know it. But that's what kids want to do in the summer, let them go to the pool. Yeah, but I got to watch him because you know, water and kids and - Well, how old are they? Seven and 11. Yeah, he got to watch her.
Speaker: He has to watch. So now the pool's not very big. It's about I don't know. 100 foot. Not even know. This is like 50 feet from one side to the other. No. No, it's square. It's a 50 foot square. It's a 50 foot. By 50 foot. Yeah, I got you. Not even that. I would actually say I'd actually I'd actually say close to a 40, maybe 30, 35. You make it sound like it's 50 feet deep. Holy shit. No. No, it's only about six feet deep. Got you.
Speaker: No, no, actually, that's why. It's a little over four and a half feet. There's a long ass pool that's short, gotcha. Right. Well, no, it's a big square. And then it's got two areas where you can, where it's only like three inches deep, where you can actually set like lawn chairs in. So pretty much ain't just diving in that pool is what you're saying. Fuck you, I dive all the time. You won't dive in that motherfucker, it's too short.
Speaker: I'm very short, so it's kind of like, you know. You ain't that damn short. Your head will still hit the ground at the wrong moment. Yeah, but... Don't dive on those short ass pools. Tony, I was in the Navy. I think I know how to dive. Yeah, but you used to deep water. Anyways. So, Kevin and I decide... He's sitting there telling me, I'm way faster than your dad. Way faster. Oh, really? Okay. I said, oh, really? Issue number one, he's tried you.
Speaker: I said, you're about to fuck around and find out, oh boy. Yeah, pretty much. That was mistake number one on my part. This is what I know already. Then he decides to race me. And of course I win. Then he says, I'll race you back. Then I win again. 25 more times I keep winning.
Speaker: And now I can't type because I can't lift my arm. I'm like, ahh. At my work today, I'm like, ahh. Already. I'm like, can I just send voice messages to everybody? No, no, no. That's what you get for trying to be a bad at it. Yeah. Well, you know, it's those moments. Of course, there was alcohol involved. Go figure.
Speaker: Yeah. It's supposed to build muscle. Your ass just built cramps. No, you know what? I built a pain in my arms, but it's one of those things. It's like you forget that you're not 20 anymore. Oh, I've been reminded multiple times when I sit down. Quite frankly, I sit down on purpose. I have to, I used to get reminded. I used to be like, I can do it. I can do it. Nope.
Speaker: you learn really quick that that I can do it means I'm going to **** myself up. You gotta think about it that hard. You probably don't need to do it. Yeah, I'm and it's been a long time since I've done something stupid like that. Uh huh. Stupid diving ain't bad. Swimming ain't bad. Diving and hitting that water. The impact is bad. If you do it wrong. Speaking of which, you
Speaker: You have to know one of the limitations I agree. Go ahead. A buddy of mine who's still in the Navy sent me a message. Free water diving. When you're out on ship, you know, every once in a while they'll have a swim day. Yes. Is going to be taking away. They're going to take it away. Because people jumping in the ocean and there's too many crazy ass sharks. Yeah. Well, they have a patrol out. And this is the problem I had. I was like, there's, they have, they put a patrol boat out there.
Speaker: with a couple of guys with fucking guns and if their shark comes by, they shoot, you know, it's time to swim to the fucking goddamn boat. But. No matter how fast the bullets are. I don't know. I was pretty quick back in the day but. Okay. Would you say you're faster on land or what? Depends on what I got going on. Definitely on land. When the cops came, I ran most of my traction.
Speaker: I said it. The irony just popped in right there. I said it. When I was a teenager, everybody on the track team was faster than me because they played three sports, only did one. When we was out and about, and the wrong shit came, my feet sound like the flash. Gone. And I didn't weigh about 175, 180 pounds back then in my height, trust me.
Speaker: I am the best I've ever been in my life and I haven't broken that. My ass was lightening. We have to chase these dudes on the beach one time that says some racial shit to us. Well, we chased them for a block, caught them at a red light and surrounded their ass. Yeah, Rich, I was pretty much the Flash. Trust me. If somebody started shooting or the cops came,
Speaker: I'm so much shooting. I'm a dead man. I was. It wasn't so much the concert I was worried about. It was when I had to go on to my mom and they had to tell her what happened. Yeah, I know that. You come here. You kiss my ass. Yeah, I'm going. You ain't going to buy the cartoon. I'm here on the movie. Yeah, just.
Speaker: I, I, I'm. No problem. No problem. Oh yeah. No problem. I can climb over anything. Man, please. Y 'all thought OJ ran through the airport. You should have seen me with the cops behind my head. I was just watching that commercial. OJ was going there for me.
Speaker: Where'd he go? I don't know. We'll find him on the next block. Somebody go get the car. That motherfucker's gone. That's faster than OJ. Holy shit. Hurts to fire my ass soon. Trust me. Hey. I was gone. But it's like, if the cops come or somebody's shooting, I'm either dead or I'm going to jail. Because I hate to run. Dogs don't bow.
Speaker: I was on the track team and I might've been the slowest, but I went to practice. Oh, okay. Just with the right moment, your ass was doing it. What was your... What did you do on track? Mine will make you laugh. I honestly wound up doing shot and disc, but like I said, I was slower than everybody. I would run, but I wasn't doing their time. I did shot and disc as well. I did shot and disc.
Speaker: I tried to do 200. I tried to do the 400. I joined the eight or the two mile relay team just so we can get points. God, that shit. And honestly, you become good at everything else. Train for distance, definitely. I did 100 meter, 200 meter shot, discus, and for about six months. I remember Rich.
Speaker: Rich was, he did the 880. He was third leg on a two mile relay. Yeah. Good God. Yeah. Ooh. Ooh. No, that's nothing. You ought to be the cross country boys. You cross country boys or something now. Oh, hell no. Hell no. They ran forever. One of my good friends, she did cross country. But she's one of those people where she is my age. And she's like, I still love to run. I'm like, bitch, I don't run to the fucking fridge. A bunch of runners got bad knees right now.
Speaker: She posts on her Instagram her map of where she ran today. And I'm like, bitch, did you just run five miles? I named my dog five miles. So I say I walk. No damn reason.
Speaker: For no reason, she's like, it's healthy. I was like, fuck you, it ain't. Like the military, you got to run a mile and a half, two miles every year. I'm like, for what? And timed with about 50 pounds on your back. Exactly. No, I didn't have to put that way. I had to do a thing with the back. We just had to do it just to get a ship, get our cardio. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Because basic training, we was running all the damn time. Oh, basic training, that's different, though. What? What you had to do was it.
Speaker: 12 miles 50 pound pack on your back plus your rifle and and in the rain in the cold in the cold in the mud well i tony as i've mentioned before i'm an idiot richard fucking psycho
Speaker: Mind you, it's great to kill time. No jogging. Yes. No, no, no, no, no, no. I agree. It's great to kill time. It is great for your heart. It's great for your blood flow. It's great for exercise. I agree. Jaws can come after me. I still want to give it up. Running is one thing. Swimming is another animal. Oh. Now see, you put me in the water. I have a weird, mild goal in my life. I'll probably never do it, but I think it would be an amazing achievement.
Speaker: You'll probably never do it, you're right. The English channel. You're an idiot. The people do it all the time. I think it'd be amazing. What's going to piss me off is when you swing the English channel and you find Nessie before I do.
Speaker: Why would she be in the English? A lot less empties out. Oh, does it? I didn't know that. Yeah, empties out. I saw it on the map when I looked at it about a year or two ago. I think it would be just cool. Yes, Rich, I see. I mean, I'm not saying I would actually do it. The English channel is a bitch. Let me be clear. I've watched a lot of videos from the 80s of people trying to swim, but they had boats next to them. A lot of people did not make that damn swim.
Speaker: That's not a pool that is moving. I know I get it. Trust me, you will get hit by a shark, a dolphin, a killer whale and probably an SES. I'm going to have problems with your ass. I get it. I know it looks difficult. It sounds difficult and it is difficult. I get that. I'm not saying I'm going to do it. I'm not saying if I do try it, I'm going to finish it.
Speaker: No, you're not. But it's one of those things. It's like the first time I ever heard about somebody swimming in the English Channel, I was like, huh? I can't do that. I know. All sorts of things in that water. I agree. Oh, yeah. They even got a tunnel in that motherfucker, I believe. Isn't the tunnel on that bad boy? The tunnel? Yeah. Yeah, I think it's something to do with it. It's like a couple of miles, though. Quite a few, actually. I mean, is there a time limit?
Speaker: I mean, seriously, you want to talk about needing a belt afterwards. If I swam the English Channel, I would walk around with a shirt and say that I fucking made it from England to France. You need a hydro chamber after you finish that motherfucker. That's what you're going to need. You're going to have to put your one of them shits like Lou Skywalk on him, brought him back to life. You'll just be floating with a mask when you fix it.
Speaker: You can't smoke and swim, Tony. You fucking idiot. It doesn't work. No, you can't. I mean, I can totally do the Popeye thing. You can't be a smoker and smoke and swim the English Channel. You can hang that up.
Speaker: You can't hang that up. Why are you going to shoot up my **** on my dreams? You're probably going to have a heart attack halfway through that **** water. We're going to get your ass out and knowing how you've been talking to my **** I'm going to leave you to **** this. I'm going to give you a life jacket and just watch.
Speaker: You know what? Before I go, I'm going to give you. I will hook up my phone and sit there with my laptop, my iPad, and my cell phone. And I will binge Star Trek, watching your ass float. Fuck you. Before I go, before I swing the English channel, I'm going to tell you a bunch of dad jokes. Just so you're like, I'll drown this motherfucker myself. You know what? I got a better idea. I'm going to give you guys a life jacket. And then I'm going to sit back and watch every fucking video clip you have to say. OK. Would that be considered cheating? What?
Speaker: Wearing a white life jacket? Yes. But I still swim in the saloon as a champ. No, but the swimmers didn't wear one. The swimmers didn't wear one. I mean, I've swam in the middle of the Atlantic. The middle? How far did you get? I'm not saying I swam away from the boat. I know. But I jumped off a fucking aircraft carrier. There's no place else to go. Goddamn octopus disappointed me again. It's supposed to get your ass. One of them fucking legs should have ripped your ass.
Speaker: I don't know. Unfortunately, I'm the scariest thing in the ocean. Don't **** you, mate. Sorry. I'm trying to do my my best. You are the most important thing in the ocean. That's that's why I it's safest to be be in the water with me because all the animals are like, he's going to talk to us. Exactly. He's going to tell us. Underwater and dead. Oh my god. What the **** am I doing? I don't need a
Speaker: Anybody got a lighter? I mean, I'm just, no, no lighter. Before I joined the military, I checked all the branches out. I looked at the Coast Guard. I wanted to do search and rescue. And they were like, can you swim, Siak? They said, no. Can you swim? I'm like, OK, so you know. I said, you know what? That's a handy. I'm not going to leave me out in the fucking ocean by myself. They said, no, we're just asking, because there's going to be some issues or situations. Well, you saw that Kevin Costner movie with the? No, I didn't see it yet. The Guardian? I haven't watched it. Oh, my god. Oh, my god, dude. You've got to see that. That shit.
Speaker: I talked to a buddy of mine who was in the Coast Guard, he says, and he did search and rescue. And he says, that is the most accurate I've ever seen. The Guardian was? The Guardian. Okay. He said, accurate AF. Now, my thing is, I actually knew a guy who went through bases in the Coast Guard. They told me what they went through was close to where the Navy goes to, like sleeping on the beach regardless of the weather and all that shit. So that would have pissed me off.
Speaker: Oh no, it's terrible. That would have pissed me off. It's horrible. But search and rescue for me and the Coast Guard, that's what I envisioned. They told me I couldn't have been a pilot, even for helicopters. I like fought. Why not? Glasses. Oh, that's right. You got to come in 2020. You got to come in 2020. Here's the thing. I could probably have been a pilot, but I had zero interest.
Speaker: I never put those two things together. It never crossed my mind to be like, I could be a pilot. After I had my center flight, I'm kind of glad I wasn't. Right? I wasn't ready. I honestly will say I was not ready. There's so much shit you got to do in split second timing and you're up there by yourself. No one can help you. You know what convinced me that I should never be in a pilot? Common sense.
Speaker: No. Okay, go ahead. First time I had to do an airdrop. Oh, wow. Parachuting? Yeah. Shoot school? Oh my God, dude. Yeah. This motherfucker, they get me up there and then they're like, jump. I was like, ha ha, no.
Speaker: And he's like, jump. I said, you better push me. This is a push. And he says, he says, Mr. Hawk, there is nothing more unnatural than jumping out of a perfect good aircraft. However, just do it right. Enjoy the fucking ride. And then he pushed me out the door. Yeah, Coast Guard doesn't get enough respect, Rich. I give them a lot of props. They get this hard than National Guard.
Speaker: They don't even get funded properly. It's bullshit and they was over there. What else are those three? And I got pushed out that **** aircraft and I think I stopped screaming about three days later. Yeah, I bet you did. Jesus Christ. I'm not as as Chris said, I'm also afraid of heights and they say, you know, face your fears. **** you. That's why a lot of people talk **** him face their fears. That's what I know. Oh my god. That's what I know.
Speaker: I've been to the top of Vegas and the freefall doesn't go down. It shoots up the steeple and sits there. I was like, okay, this might be one of the dumbest things I've ever done in my life. As a matter of fact, at this moment, this is the dumbest shit I've ever done in my life. No, I got that beat. The dumbest thing, a night drop. The who? Night jump. Nah, you can have that.
Speaker: fucking two o 'clock in the morning. You can't see nothing. You can't see past. I had that. You can have that. And the only thing you have is a little light on your ultimate. You can have that. You can't even see the trees you're about to fly into. Fuck that. No, you cannot. Oh, no. We did it. We did it over water because we're cool because we're in the Navy. Well, the impact is supposed to be softer. Tough guys. Oh, it is softer.
Speaker: Uh -huh. I saw the Meg. Y 'all can have that shit. And it's wet. It's wet. And it's wet, yeah. Sometimes it's cold, too. Very cold. But my dumbass, you know, so Final Days of Basic, they line everybody up. You know, everybody's in formation. And they say, who wants to try out for Buds? Well, my dumbass raised my hands. Oof. They had people trying out for power rescue when I was in Basics. I was going to go.
Speaker: Why didn't you? Honestly, I hadn't swam in a while. I knew I would have lost. Of course I could swim, but these guys, kids came in first of all.
Speaker: I was 22 and I'm up in there with 17, 18 year olds. Yeah. You know, once I had the energy, but that little four year gap was going to be a difference. It's a, it's a big difference in basic training. There was graduated basis with me. He was 35. He came in as an E one.
Speaker: Jesus. I'm trying to tell you I'll see you. I was like, oh my god. We graduated like, yeah, I finally made it. He's like Tony Diaz in fucking the replacement. After everything is all said and done, I'm going to do it. He's like Tony Diaz in that fucking longest yard. He just laid on the track. Don't you motherfuckers got me. That dude was 35 and he graduated business at E1. That's some disrespectful ass shit.
Speaker: Rich, I know you hear me. 35 as an E1. So I got a list of some 22 -year -old E5 looking down on me. I might push that motherfucker in the face. Uh -uh. Uh -uh. So swim test for the Navy is fun. You're in an area. I've heard of it. You got a giant. I think it's 80 meters by 80 meters. They call it the pool, but it's literally just docks on the lake. Right.
Speaker: And you have to float for five minutes. Float is easy. That's a cake walker. What they don't tell you is that there's Navy Seals and scuba gear underneath it. Well, just, I don't know where to grab you. You can pull your ass down. And, ooh, I almost died that day. Navy Seals has some of the toughest training in the military. That's known, honestly. I've done it. I think it is the toughest. I think they say it is tough. It is. Apparently, I was actually talking to a buddy of mine. He says,
Speaker: It's the Mossad and the seals are right up there, same level. Yeah. So like the Green Berets and the River Roll, they all pretty much right there. Everybody talks about it. Pretty much you ain't mad enough to do it until you graduate. I almost do this close.
Speaker: This close, I was short like three weeks. I met a couple that weren't bad. Some of the others were fucking assholes. I'm not going to lie. I rang the bell. And I'll say it. Some of them talk more shit than some of these little punk ass MMA motherfucker just talk shit around here. And they're tough. They can do everything. I've been looking at them like, I had to see them. They want to talk shit. They want you to hit them first. So here's the kicker to the MMA fighters. They could take a punch. OK, fine. Good. Set it down. But bitch, you don't know me. OK.
Speaker: If you want me to hit you first, I'm not going to use my fist. I'm going to use a bat because I'm a little guy and I'm only going to get one good shot. Well, you talk too much. Take you out. You talk too much shit for your height. That's why you sit in the fucking house.
Speaker: Exactly I had a CEO I had a CEO scariest cat ever met. Mm -hmm this motherfucker You can scream in his face for days I'm saying the worst insults ever and he'd look at you Yeah No, I I think I'm gonna go run
Speaker: Yeah, they're gonna say some shit. Nicest guy I've ever met, but - Most of your trainers, your MTIs, your training structures and all that, they are decent dudes. Words don't mean nothing. You're not going to beat them. They ain't tired. And they've been in the gym. No, my boys never went to the gym. These motherfuckers out on the beach three o 'clock in the morning get a pushup for no fucking reason. In the middle of the fucking freezing ass. They stay in shape. They stay in shape. Just outside of Pensacola.
Speaker: Yeah, they're ready for whatever. And that was a good example of basics. They stayed tip top shape, tip top outfit, tip top discipline. That's the biggest example. My favorite line that they would say, we're going to push up until I get tired. Like, but you're just sitting there. That is not a decent line. No. Because that's more than 50. That's more than 50 Street. Oh, easily. That's more than 50 Street. Tony, now, how well do you know me? I'm a bit of a smart ass and a mouth.
Speaker: I did a lot of pushups and basics and basic. Oh my God. Somebody say something. I snicker motherfucker. I'm doing pushups. God dammit. I had one golden basic training. Get the fuck up out of here. I told them when I graduated, I said, I'm never coming back to the city. I haven't been back yet. I don't believe.
Speaker: I haven't been back. I can't. I don't want to spell out Pensacola. I get PTSD. Think about that **** **** No. Buds, where you're where you're you're it's three weeks in. You've slept 25 minutes. It's freezing. You're still wet from the night. The GIJ. GIJ. That was some real ****. Most accurate ****
Speaker: parts of that movie are very accurate. A lot of it is bullshit, but there's a lot of accurate shit. Yes. You don't sleep. They're going to push you to your quit. It's their job to make you quit. The eating out trash cans is everything. It's like when you graduate, they fail. That's how they push you. If you graduate, they fail. That dude was always fun. They were sitting there standing out there, he should be sitting, hmm, hmm, hmm. And there goes another one. Say that's fucked up. That is so fucked up. Dude.
Speaker: I swear to God, some of these guys would sit there today. That was their point in life. I'm going to make that motherfucker quit. Day one, you could see them going. And in my head, I'm going, they're pointing out people. They're going to get worse. Yes. They're going to push you. But you know one of the biggest things people miss in that movie? If they saw a lack of teamwork or selfishness, you got punished for that shit. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And I do respect that about that movie.
Speaker: One thing that I learned in Buds was this. It's a mantra that I do all the time because I'm that weird guy that's like, I can take all the groceries from the gate to the house one trip without stopping or without changing hands or something like that, you know? And the mantra was one more minute. I'll quit in one moment. And then when that minute ends up,
Speaker: And the biggest part of training is don't fucking quit. Yeah, that's one of the things I've held with me since that those moments and I mean I still wake up PTSD from that club fucking joint, but you know Fucking me flash bangs while you to wake your ass up at three o 'clock in the morning. You just went to bed 20 seconds ago. Mm -hmm
Speaker: They did a **** a couple of times. I've been I'm like, this is a **** You can't finish eating. You can't sleep. What the **** Dude, you can't sit down to eat. No, you can't. You eat out of a trash can that's covered in sand. Somebody get comfortable ready to eat when they get up. The **** you mean, we just said that. Damn. I had I had an instructor. You took it all. Now, eat it all. And then he'd grab your plate, go back up
Speaker: Are you not hungry? Or are you going to sit there until you finish eating? And then you're going to go run it off. You have three minutes to finish eating. And mind you, you can eat a full -ass breakfast and work that shit off in two hours because stress burns calories. This motherfucker would literally run you to your puke and then run you some more. Yeah. If you got on his bad side, oh. It's called the detox.
Speaker: somebody getting on a COs or or an instructor the bad side. Oh, I don't ever recommend it after. It's called the detox. My dad told me a story when he was when he was in uh he was in Korean War and he said day one of basic and the fact that he got away with it blew my mind and I you know I had heard this story 40 -50 times when I was a kid
Speaker: And when I ended up with basics, I was like, yeah, I'm not gonna say that because I've heard horror stories about this. And after getting through basics and buds and stuff, I was like, how my dad got away with this? I still know. They said, does anybody have anything to say before we start? And my dad stood there and said, if you put me on KP, you ain't gonna get shit out of me. Now, what does that tell you, Tony?
Speaker: He's going to be on that motherfucker every day till he graduates. Never once. That's some bullshit. Never once was he on. That's some bullshit. And I and I don't know if they maybe it's very possible. He said it with the most convincing way. That's never been in KP. I was like, fuck you.
Speaker: to this day. I won't peel a carrot or a **** I don't blame you. Nope. Nope. **** it. I'll order it. I haven't a a rich. I haven't had basic aid since I got out. I haven't had basic aid. Oh my god. I got tired of this ****
Speaker: When you're overseas, you get tired of drinking water every damn day. When I come home, I want a soda and some alcohol. Fuck this. That. Well, that was one great thing about being on ship. I don't want to see a bottle of water. I don't want to see crystal lights. I don't want to see instant lifted tea. Once a week when you're out on ship.
Speaker: They'd walk around each table and put a couple of six packs down. Everybody gets one. Oh, nice. It keeps your alcohol tolerance up. Because first thing, when you hit fucking land, Tony, everybody heads to the fucking bar. You damn right. You go to the bar, you go to the store. And as you go out the fucking door of the boat, there's a fucking bowl with condoms. You grab a handful of that shit, and you go straight to the bar. Just make sure they go coin. They snap.
Speaker: I'm just saying. I thought I was safe until uh uh oh. **** Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What do you mean? **** Hang on. I gotta change this. And and one of the things, one of the things I had uh I had somebody teach me, we're we're pulling in a port one day and you know, everybody's in their whites and you know, you got the hand on and all that **** You take your hat and you write your name.
Speaker: You told me, I remember this story, yes. Toss that shit out there, and whoever catches it, that's your girl for the night. And if you happen to see that she is, whoa, you go back and buy another hat, because it's $3. And you go back and there, toss it. Somebody should walk around the country waiting on your ass with your name on it. I had a boy, he would go out, he'd go to the PX, he'd buy him four or five hats, man, and just,
Speaker: Wait to see who's going to catch it. Pick of the fucking litter, man. That's why I had that brat like Jack Sparrow on that damn movie. What you mean he got a marigold? You see that bump on her lip? OK, I had this shit. It's break time, damn it. Yes, it is. Yes, it is. Pick a sock, sir. Pick a sock. Y 'all already know what I'm going to do. Let's do a little bit. I don't know what I'm going to do.
Speaker: Oh, you know what? I do like this song. So we will be right back. We're going to play a little bit of song. It's a cover, of course. Liz is Don Says Don't Don Says. We'll be right back. And how about a little Kiss Me, Rose?
Speaker: I'll put the load on the sea, you became the light The dark side of me, now I've remained I draw that sign, I'm a pill Did you know that when it snows, my eyes become larger?
Speaker: Baby, I compare you to a kid's room The room's on the ground Oh, the more I get up, you're the stranger I'm free and I'll be here And now that your rose is in bloom A light hits the ground
Speaker: The man can tell you so much he can say You remain my power, my pleasure, my pain, baby The man you like is from addiction, but I can't deny it No, don't you tell me is it heavy, babe? And don't you go the way it sounds My eyes become loved on the line That you should get this pain
Speaker: Now that your rose is in bloom A light hits the ground
Speaker: I've been kissed by a rose on the grain
Speaker: There is so much a man can tell you, so much he can say, yeah, remain My power, my pleasure, my pain To me, you're like a cloud addition that I can't deny Don't you tell me you stay healthy, baby You can go, but when it's over, my eyes become large and the light is too shiny
Speaker: I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey Oh, I know I get a new stranger to feel the air Now that your rose is in bloom A light hits the glow of the grey Yes, I compare you to a rose on the grey
Speaker: That your rose isn't blue A light hits the gloom on the way That your rose isn't blue A light hits the gloom on the
Speaker: Sorry, I was doing my Kilmore. I do like that song. I like the original. I like that one. This is a good song. But We Are Back is nonsensical nonsense. We are live once again on
Speaker: Twitter, Twitch, and YouTube. Join us live every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday. Glick is not here today, so we got Tony D in the building. We got myself, Jeff, and we are on all platforms for every podcast platform, wherever you get your podcast, Jollies. Join us live. Watch old episodes. List old episodes any time on YouTube and Spotify. I do prefer Spotify.
Speaker: And join the chat box. Say hi. And by all means, share us out. Sharing is caring. Sharing is caring. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind.
Speaker: Yeah, that's because I hear so we talk about Yeah, yeah, you had your hour. I don't want to hear let's go So, uh, how good is the fucking fugitive? Harrison Ford I thought it was a great movie. I love that movie. I thought it was a great movie. It was nothing wrong with it. I watched it repeatedly I've seen at least 200 times honestly
Speaker: I didn't do it. I don't care. Uh no, the the the the line of I want a hard target search. Oh, I **** love that line. I want that. I want that in the poster. Just Tommy Lee Jones in his little **** outfit with that whole speech. I want a hard target search of every outhouse white and blah blah blah. All that. I want it. I want it.
Speaker: Something that was lied to me. Go get him. But the best scene, after he shoots that, shoots old boy, and then he's got his partner hooked up, and he's like, I'll kill him. And then Tommy Lee Jones just goes like, he's on the phone with his boss. He's like, well, blame me. I'm the one that shot him. Click. I was like, oh, what a badass. But speaking of Harrison,
Speaker: I hear the new Indiana Jones is not doing well. A lot of movies aren't doing well. I looked at that. Flash didn't do good. The Guardians of the Galaxy was the last movie they did. No, Transformers was the last movie they did good. The Flash didn't do good. Indiana Jones is doing good. I actually went and saw The Flash. I talked about this before. That movie was worth it. It was worth it. I don't listen to critics anymore.
Speaker: You can listen to them. They've been right. But I also go to see it for myself to see if they're wrong. I honestly had to tell people they were wrong about The Flash. Well, it wasn't the critics. It was the box office sales. So people didn't go to the theater in droves like they have been. But mind you, they had just gone to see a bunch of other movies, especially for the kids. The kids' movies were doing good. We should have told the kids to see The Flash. I did take Jason with me. He loved it.
Speaker: I saw the storyline. I know what they did. I was good with it. Mine's like a multiverse thing, right? It was a multiverse thing and they was talking bad about multiverse and DC's trying to copy Marvel. They ain't copying. They've been doing this shit. That's just, that's kind of like, that's kind of like chicken or egg though, right? Chicken and egg, but they're both doing the same thing. Who did it first? One of them did it first. Nobody fucking knows who, who gives a shit? For me,
Speaker: For me, if a movie's good, I don't care if it's like, you remember a while back, there was a bunch of movies that are basically mirror images. That, what's your name? In the 90s, early 2000s, yeah. Yeah, Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis did that movie where they were just fucking his friends. And then Ashton Kushner and some of them, and Natalie Portman did a movie. It's basically the same fucking movie. And there's a bunch of movies like that.
Speaker: Same idea with their own creative twist to it. I'm good. And I like them both. I prefer the Mila Kudas one, because Mila Kudas is hard. I mean, you got to look at DC and the change they was making, which we used to talk about last year. And I had just watched The Sickest Shazam again. And they are emphasizing the Justice League society
Speaker: knows about the regular Justice League. They're gonna bring it together sooner or later. They got to. Personally, if you want my opinion, they got to. So they're gonna merge and they're doing their own thing. Okay, fine. They're destroying the rock over Black Adam. Swearin' he messed it up. The biggest thing about Black Adam that was messed up is that ain't the storyline I damn remember. I don't remember Black Adam. Black Adam was evil as shit.
Speaker: pretty much. I was not conducive to what was in theaters. However, what they did wasn't bad. And I won't go ahead and say it. They pissed me off with Hawkman, but Hawkman was actually pretty good. Because if you saw if you saw Black Adam, this Hawkman is pretty much human and he's fucking not. Yeah, Hawkman was it. But I gave him his props for being fearless, being tough and
Speaker: That's pretty much it. Because it's from another fucking planet. Do you think it's a streaming thing that's really fucked everything up? Yes. It's fucked up the movie theaters. But that came due to COVID. Right. Exactly. We're all back on COVID. COVID fucked a lot of people. And a lot of people, I think there's going to be a new matrix out for reading movies box office.
Speaker: you're going to have the actual box office when it actually comes out in the theater. And then you're going to have once it's released on streaming. I think the merger or the agreement was put it in theaters first and it'll be on the app afterwards. And I don't think it should. And that's fair. Well, here's the thing. You put it in streaming and with the cost like they do. Yes. Cost a little extra whatever. And then you also put it
Speaker: in the theater same weekend. No, what you're going to do is what they used to do in the eighties and nineties. You put it in theaters, you wait a few months, then you put it on cable or DVD or VHS like they used to do. So right now, a lot of the movies, if they don't do good in theaters, they'll come on a streaming app. The people aren't going to pay for the theaters when they can wait for it to come on a streaming app. They don't have the same ambition we used to to catch it when it first comes out. So we got something to talk about. Right. But like I said, this came from what happened with COVID and people was being in the house right now.
Speaker: I think the kids movies will be the moneymakers in the movie theaters because we want to get the kids at the house and you want to have a family event, take them to the damn movies. You buy your snacks, you buy your popcorn, you're not going every weekend, you're not going every month. Even though this year is pretty frequent with the kids movies that came out back to back a couple of months ago. I know because I took Jason's here. Well, what movies came out? Elemental came out. I want to say Guardians of the Galaxy, which pretty much isn't kids, but kids love it.
Speaker: Spider -Man. What's the name? Spider -Man. Let's see. Here's the thing. Uh I have that website that I'm a very big fan of that I've shared with you. Yes, sir. If I want to watch something, I can watch it there. To which I thank you for. And and like I watched John Wick in theater. Have you seen John Wick yet? No, I haven't seen it yet. I'm gonna be honest. I have not seen it yet. Oh my god. It's worth it.
Speaker: and that's cuz I'm been to Star Trek. I'm actually on Star Trek New Worlds. I'm trying to get through this first season. I finished Discovery up. I have finished Picard up. Um I'm also watching Mayans and still trying to go to work and all that good stuff. So, for me, yeah, I haven't. I haven't got all of a car up there. I should have watched about three movies yesterday. I should have. You're still alive all the time. Huh? Every time I go on Facebook, you're ****
Speaker: I went live what? Three times this week? The past couple of days? That was it? Yeah. In the past couple of days, I have not gone live once until today. They were short. They were short. They were short ones. The longest one I did was when I was along with Rich. Yesterday, we talked about an hour. I tried out that new platform. A little too many. I saw that. And then I did my 4th of July broadcast, which was only 30 minutes. So yeah, you'll get the alerts. But yeah, almost did. That movie is theater worthy.
Speaker: And I will admit, some of these movies that's out, we used to be skeptical. I used to go catch every movie when it came out. And after a while, I go, OK, I'm spending too much money on bullshit. But recently, some of these movies that's coming out, excellent. Top Gun, definitely. That new Spider -Man movie, definitely. Definitely. That new Spider -Man was definitely worth the money. Take the kids. Get your ass out. I'm going to take all five of y 'all at night, buy all the snacks, and enjoy yourself. That's how good that movie is. Is that good? Really? Yes, it is that good.
Speaker: See, I'll give a movie a rating like that. This movie is worth the late night price with all the snacks in the whole family or a bad date that you don't get in them, but you can still enjoy yourself. Yes, that's how I rate these movies. Yes. You got a blind date. It ain't going to work, but the two of you still going to enjoy the movie even though you may never talk to each other again. You know what? This is good and I appreciate it. You take care of yourself. You too. No hard feelings.
Speaker: No hard feelings. It was that damn good. I think the first movie I said that about was The Mummy Returns. I love The Mummy Returns. I saw that in theaters. And Jesus, that was classic. I love that movie. I put Spider -Man, that new Spider -Man on that level. That movie is worth it. Even if the two of you don't like each other, y 'all will get a kick out of that movie and go your separate ways with no hard feelings. But it did a damn good job in that movie. Elemental was good for the kids, had a great message to it.
Speaker: as a kid movie. I have not seen it. The kids will love it. They will love it, honestly. Yes. As a parent, I'm telling you, that is a good movie for the children. Definitely, definitely, definitely. I do, like, when it comes to the Marvel movies, like the ones that are coming out, nothing's really, like, grabbing me, saying, I have to see this in the theater.
Speaker: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Speaker: What the fuck is wrong with you? That movie's not even remotely set. It's a fucking spider that dies. The end of the movie, when she crawled back and she was dying, that hurt my heart. You kissed my ass. Well, well, you know, let me go get you some miasporin for your skinny little girl. Kiss my ass, ho. Dude. When Optimus Prime died on Transformers the movie in 1886, every dude was mad. I don't care who you are.
Speaker: Thank you. You need to watch that movie. However, I will cry at the end of the notebook. You need to see that movie Tony. Yes, I get it. You cry.
Speaker: Okay, I was explaining something to my son the other day when we were at the pool. We were talking about a movie. Which one? We were talking about the movie Chasing Amy. I guarantee you've never seen it. You're right. The first time you see it, you're like, eh, it is what it is. As you get older, you get it. You get the concept. And you're like, I know what Ben Affleck's going through in that movie. We know what Ben Affleck's going to do in every movie. Yeah, well, he's not the greatest actor we get that.
Speaker: Nothing against him. He makes good movies. He makes good movies. I cried during Pearl Harbor. And then I get pissed off for three days. I got pissed off at Pearl Harbor. Right? Dude, I cried fucking saving Ryan's privates. And then the actual saving private Ryan, too. Saving private privates is a really good forward. I'm kidding. But it's like,
Speaker: A movie that can make you tear up is a guaranteed good movie. My mother -in -law's texting me. That's the movie that made me tear up. Tears of the Sun. The ending. Really? They made it. I get the movie. They made it. I know. That song hits my heart at the end of that movie. Okay. For some reason.
Speaker: That might have been Bruce. That might have been Bruce Willis's last good movie. I had I gotta look at that list because I was telling somebody that might have been his last good movie because he was he's got he's he's got a very impressive list. Not the majority of you got a bunch of people. No, he's got a he's got a really a bunch of shit movies, but he's Kevin. He's one of those guys that well, he was like wait, you want me to be in a movie? Okay, I'm in but
Speaker: it's **** Bruce Willis. I mean, yeah, Nick Cage does the same thing but everybody's got like, yeah, but it's Bruce Willis. Bruce Willis. Yeah. Yeah. So, Bruce Willis, he can pull that off. Nothing to give Nick Cage because I love them in the con air. I'm going to 60 seconds. But the face off, he was kind of extra. Yeah, but that was his character. National Treasure. He had a purpose. I do want to say for National Treasure, he had a purpose. I was I was speaking of National Treasure.
Speaker: It was cute. And it was cancer. I thought it was, it was, it was, it was, it was what it was. It was, it was. And I think he will be Ghost Rider if Ghost Rider ever comes back because he is passionate about that character. I thought he really did well with Ghost Rider. Mind you Ghost Rider. That scene where Sam Elliott is on the horse and he's on that bike and they're all on fire. I want that as a screen signal. I need another Jonah Hex.
Speaker: That was a good movie. I don't care what anybody says. Wasn't Jonah Hex very similar to the Cowboys versus Aliens thing? No. No? Jonah Hex actually, for me, when Justice League and Justice League unlimited had the cartoons, that's where I knew him from. But I thought they did a good job with that movie, even though people decided to be trash. I thought it was good. The thing is, like,
Speaker: I when it comes to a movie that that will quote unquote make you cry. Mm hmm. If if you get that emotional, emotionally attached in a movie like a really good movie. If you get that mostly attached to a movie, the producer did a job. The producer and everybody on the set and did their job and the whole cast. Fucking the whole cast, the whole cast. The one thing that I always say is if you watch a movie and you're like, I really hate that. Fucker did their job too.
Speaker: They did their job. Charlize Theron in the fate of the furious. Yeah, I do not like that. I do not like her. No, you know, you know, the one that you had real Hancock, she got one old guard. I do not like her from the fate of the furious. No, I'm telling you, the one that gets me every time where every nerd can agree with me is the woman that played the, um, in Harry Potter.
Speaker: I've watched those movies. I don't remember under their names. I might remember their face. Oh my gosh. I literally just drove like and I've seen those movies like thousands of times. I haven't watched them that much. I watched them. She plays. She plays the ministry. See, you don't remember the name either. No, I can't remember her name. Oh my gosh. She's going to drive me. And the numbers drop every top movies.
Speaker: Oh, shit. It's okay, y 'all. Watch these movies, damn it. We're helping you out. But, I mean, it's one of those things. It's like, a good actor does his job. The movie's gonna do good. If you feel anything for any of the characters and you remember them, yes. Yeah.
Speaker: Madonna was revived by Narcon injection. Wait, what? You know Madonna's been alive. She damn near died. She's like your age. No, she's 60 something, but she had a bacterial affectionate. It was pretty bad. If she was the past, the marathons on the radio would be bananas.
Speaker: They would be, but I thought about doing them a Donna Marathon one day. So let me sit my hands down. You know, you got to hand it to her. She has kept up. Dude, she was the queen of music in my opinion. She was the queen. Listen. Okay. She has in the past, like what? 80 years that she's been doing music. He said 80. Every, every couple of years, she's topping charts. I'm not mad at her.
Speaker: There's a song 40 years in the game. Yeah. Yeah. There's a minimum of four or five songs each decade that you're like, Madonna, just shout out a fucking banger, man. She wrote the 90s, the 80s and the 90s to me. She rocked. And she just went there with everything. I'm not mad enough for that. And she was one of she's one of the first musicians turned actor that I was like, OK, I get it. She can act. Singing. Great. I'm going to leave you there. It might have been her best movie in my opinion.
Speaker: I agree. However, I do love her and who's that girl? She plays that kind of. You got who's that girl? You got this really secret Susan, but a lot of people forgot Evita. She did that. She's just saying that she's saying the **** out of god bless her. I can't sing to save my life. Don't cry for me, Argentina.
Speaker: She wouldn't be able to do that **** down. She might. No, she wouldn't. She might be canceled in a heartbeat because she's not. So, who's the most similar to her right now in your opinion? I'm going with Lady Gaga. No, my girl, Queen Latifah. No, not singing. Not singing. No, singing. Singing. Singing. Singing. I'm going to go with Lady Gaga. And Lady Gaga, Lady Gaga, I had to give her a credit because at first, I want to hear but that year, she did the national anthem. Oh, ****
Speaker: Well, I I've not seen that movie she did with Bradley Cooper yet. Me neither. I'm not going to watch it. I'm not going to watch it because I think God is beautiful. Everybody calls me crazy, but I'm like, she's she's beautiful. No, she's beautiful. She's beautiful and she has a shape. She has a figure and she's talented. Yeah, she she she she's going all over with it and I got to give up. Like I said, she's done some good shit.
Speaker: She really has as much as I will add, but my mind has changed. I got to respect. I got to respect. They were trying to make it Britney Spears and she led. Britney's kind of on her own. They're talking about her real bad. Like she'd been possessed or she'd been whatever. Well, yeah, Britney Spears like, Oh my gosh, she's a lawyer. But, well, she got, well, she got support. That's why she crazy. I don't blame her.
Speaker: Which I think is ridiculous, but okay. 400 million in child support? Yeah, a little bit. Kevin Federline. No, I know, but that's a lot, dude. 400 million. What is it? I read a statistic like a year ago. It was like to raise a child from birth to 18. It's like 250 grand. 2 million max. Regular society. No, I'm not nuts.
Speaker: regular society. Yeah. Regular society. Two million max. Yes. Two million max. And minimum is like 250K. And I base that on what I would give my mother if I hit the lottery for my youth in the 70s. Nowadays, y 'all need that Kim Kardashian money. Y 'all own some bullshit. Yeah, exactly. What was it? What was it? Kanye was putting out like... Kanye's putting like 50 a week. 50K a week. Shit like that. He's paying some ungodly number. Russell... Yeah, that bitch don't need no money.
Speaker: I mean, Russell Simmons paying the golly amount. Donald Trump was paying a million a year. I mean, I ain't mad at the girl, but I mean, let's be honest. Does it need to be that extreme? No. No. Because that money ain't for you. It's for the kid. Thank you. It ain't for you to go out and buy yourself a fucking Bentley. I remember when I used to put on child support back in the 90s and he had to pay
Speaker: I think it was $4 ,000 a month as a original figure. And Ricky Smiler was like, what child needs $4 ,000 a month? And we'll go, no special needs, no discrimination, no disrespect. We'll go, no complications whatsoever. We'll go. Yeah, perfectly healthy child. You're not living stupid, rich. You just live a regular life. What child needs $4 ,000 a month? They don't. Hey, I don't make $4 ,000 a month. Exactly. When I was younger, now I do.
Speaker: there there should there be like a salary cap just like the NFL and **** I think they should they go off an income cap which I understand the percentage of the income but we gotta be rational. Yeah, but I mean we gotta be rational because we're gonna be in trouble and let's be clear if the money is going to their college fund their uh trust fund or whatever cool understood understood I'm in she can't trust the money all she's gonna use is for the daycare to close the food
Speaker: And and and and maybe rent. Yes. Maybe rent. Yes. Or part of rent. Yes. But it's like. She's got multiple kids and she can't work. I kinda gotta give them a little bit of that cuz single moms and multiple kids. You can't work. Somebody gotta **** be home and to the dads. We need to be there but damn it. Y 'all got us working to tell us to go find another job. We can't afford to live and then we gotta maintain the furniture in the house because we can't see the child. If your house ain't worth up the park and then we use that **** again. Yeah, all this **** don't give me
Speaker: It's it's it's it's become and and that's what's getting people in trouble dudes mostly because a chicks like oh, yeah Yeah, here's a condom and you look at it and it looks like a strainer Because that's what exactly
Speaker: If I was that stupid rich man, I'd be like, Oh yeah, we can have sex. But I'm wearing, I'm wearing a space. That support made you not want to have sex in the middle of your sleep. Just call us. I'll be told how much you feel the one you better get your ass off me. That's $1 ,000. Exactly. You know, I have zero problem with supporting my job. Zero. No problems with being in the family, being a father. Exactly.
Speaker: Well, I got a problem with having to go to court where they go tell me I'm going to have to do even though I was going to do it the first goddamn place, they don't want to hear shit. Yeah. And I'm a very strict person. If you have a child with something, that person is in your life forever regardless. So you don't go home with a crazy. If you go to the club, this chick is just wilding out. Oh, yeah, it's going to be fun.
Speaker: But triple bag is nice. I keep the reverse transmission ready. Amen to that. Pull back up. First thrusters on pole. I got toilet tissue, a paper towel, and a cloth wipe. Let me get this shit off your back. Just in case. Listen, I read a story. I read a story. This guy, he's like crazy stupid rich. He owns a business that manufactures yachts.
Speaker: build yachts for a living. He owns the building. You were taxing the things that was killing the sales as bad as I want one. And well, here's the thing. He makes really good money. I have to have a laugh. I have to have a laugh. This chick slept with him. And she's like, oh, just on my belly's fine. This bitch is with a q -tip and getting taken to the labs and shove that up there, daddy. And it's like, goddamn, what the hell?
Speaker: because the stereotype against Sean Kemp. Explain that. He got with a chick. This is a story that I told in the 80s. She got with a chick. Use the condo. Excuse me. Put in the garbage. She stole the condo. She got the condo. And got with a homegirl, so they all. Oh, hell no. Nine of them.
Speaker: nine of them. This is the story. Y 'all confirm this **** find out. Oh, so it's fear. It's it's it's uh so when you go to court, all they're going to ask for is a DNA. All they're going to ask for is a DNA. Be screwed. Yeah, he's what? Nine **** kids. And he's looking at going, I don't even know this **** So, how'd your DNA get in him? Yeah, you have no defense there. I'm sorry. And this was in the 80s.
Speaker: Look at what's going on with Zion Williamson right now. Who? The basketball player Zion Williamson. He got with some chick. I guess she's a porn star. She a stripper, whatever. She blasting his ass all over social media. And that's the time when she pregnant. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. If I ever become rich, I will become a hermit, and I will be the world's greatest jerk off artist. You become rich, you better do like the brownest thing with your chick.
Speaker: You become rich you better do like ice cubes stick with your chick Do like Samuel Jackson and stick with your chick and then say your bitch I didn't say your whole I didn't say your tramp. I said your chick your main squeeze number one her I get it
Speaker: LeBron sitting on a billion at least. Are you serious? Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Man, I'm going to go get pregnant. They said, LeBron, they said, LeBron, he got more money than you believe. Well, yeah, I guess. LeBron playing basketball for fun. Before he - Aren't they all really? Because at the end of the day - No, they ain't got - No, Tony, Tony, you give me $27 million. If you give me $27 million, I'll go play basketball.
Speaker: LeBron had a hundred because I can make 27 million. He had a million dollar endorsement before his first NBA game. I'm sorry. He had a $100 million endorsement before his first NBA game. That's why he worried about waiting now and before his first NBA contract. That was 20 years ago.
Speaker: That's something else that's becoming ridiculous is the pay grades of these fuckers. Well, they made Lebron the king. Mind you, he came out of projects. You know, he came and they watched him in high school. They dropped him. They knew where he was going and knew what he was going to do. Hey, he was your hometown hero.
Speaker: Y 'all embraced him. He was greedy. Dude was a beast. Don't put that on me. Don't put that on me. Well, you wasn't even up here, so you're right. Exactly. You embraced his ass. I wasn't mad. I watched his games. I had one thing I didn't like about him. Other than that, the brother can ball. Oh, no. I'm not saying he can't ball. 20 years later, he's still in school. He's kind of an asshole. It's not even his fault. Yes, it is.
Speaker: Let me tell you. I'm sorry. I don't care what you say. You choose to be an asshole. You're an asshole. You're right. But when they put you on a pedestal, you're going to get off that motherfucker? No. There you go. This show. Tony, I was talking to my coworker the other day and I said, thank God for the podcast because I get praised a lot at work. Understood. I get brokers call me Jeff. You're the fucking man, dude. You fucking knock that out of the park.
Speaker: I come here and you fuckers were like, ah, fuck you, Jeff, you're an asshole. I fucking just fuck with good news. But, but it's a nice little, it's an ego. It's an ego drop because I get double work and I'm a little bit of a reality check. But here's the kicker. When you're doing right, you don't need negativity.
Speaker: If I don't have it, I will become LeBron. Right. But his first his first few years in the NBA, I'm going to give him this credit. All he did was ball and they will follow him. They put him on top. They made him the king. He took the crown. He ran with it till he got tired of it. And I don't blame him because the way he talked about his mom was disrespectful as fuck. The way they did his mom was dirty as shit.
Speaker: And that might have been the worst thing ever heard about him. Beside the fact that he was speeding one time and the latest they say we're doing like 100. So he's in Ohio is probably going to a game. Give me a whole sport. No, no, no, no, no, I don't go. You are not get away with shit because you're a celebrity. Well, we'll get away with shit and we ain't. So what I'm gonna be mad at him for? No, I ain't mad at him for getting away with it. But if the cop let him go because he was LeBron. That's the home state.
Speaker: It's the regular season. They let his ass go. It's pretty much solid. Paris Hilton went to jail and used as an example. But what does she do? I don't remember. I don't remember going to jail. I was drinking and driving one night. I don't remember.
Speaker: I don't remember, but, but she was used as an example. And that's what celebrities, celebrities need to be put on a higher standard that if they do, if they fuck up, they need to be used as an example. Well, they are being used as an example. I'll give you a Bill Kelly, a Bill Cosby and an R. Kelly. Well, Bill Cosby got away with it a lot longer. Well, there's another reason for God to get Bill Cosby in jail. Apparently there's some oil on people.
Speaker: some oil into his property that a country he told him no. Well, that'll do it. What the ****? What is wrong with y 'all? Alright. Somebody walking by the goddamn door. Get on the microphone if you want to bark, damn it. They sit here and they they stand at the window. I okay, Tony. My dog is so smart that he figured out how to open the window open and go out. And he just found out how to knock something over. Yeah.
Speaker: So what I had to do, I'm trying to go kill me a dog. You ever eaten dog? Cause they're looking pretty good right now. But so I went and got me a length of chain and you know, you have the, the window has a little aluminum handle and then it's got a little thing that you clip your thing into and I put two eye hooks, one in the window frame, one in that little thing and then chained it together.
Speaker: so they can look out the window, but they can't open a motherfucker. Exactly, because this dog will sit there and do this at the fucking lock and it will eventually drop down. By now, do we not expect animals to be this smart? Jesus. Did anybody pay attention to Jurassic Park? If I could teach that motherfucker to do my job, I wouldn't have to do shit. If any of us watched Jurassic Park, I'm just saying, the dinosaurs will open the doors and shit. I didn't go outside. I took a shower. Take another.
Speaker: This motherfucker smells like chlorine. I took a shower. He did, just didn't wash his hair. Tony, he's soaking wet. He's wearing shorts that are wet. I tried. I tried. He went to the pool, and he's like, I took a shower. I tried, didn't I? Oh, no. OK. I didn't look at his shorts. He's actually wearing pajama shorts.
Speaker: He must have just gotten out of the shower. He's going to show and prove. Right before the show. You got to tell your kids, Jeff, I know what you got to tell them. I don't believe you see you brush your teeth. And don't just run the fucking thing under the water. I want to smell the mouthwash in the back of your tongue, you nasty privilege. Exactly. Now, I've literally gotten to the point where, because my kids will literally sneak out the house because they want to go play, I have dead bolts.
Speaker: And the keys to said deadbolts are attached to my wallet. Because they're tired of being in the house. You can't be mad. I get that. I get that. But what Chad says... Is your neighborhood safe? 90%. Exactly. 90%. I mean, there are... There's... Here's the problem. The neighbors, like four houses down, are having construction done. I don't know those cats doing the construction. We have... Do I want my seven -year -old running around?
Speaker: We have to remember what we were doing as kids and it's in their DNA. We can't be mad at them. No, I'm not mad at them. We just gotta pray that they use common sense over their ambition and energy because we didn't. Well, I don't think my kids have that. They got it. They just don't use it and it's your fault. Common sense, like not to bother me during a podcast, like 400 times that I've told you.
Speaker: Yeah, we'll go to the pool. We'll go to the pool, Tony said, and he'll drown your ass. I'm not going to drown you. Don't be terrorizing your kids.
Speaker: I just wanna see his, I wanna see a six foot plus black man throw my kids in the pool, be hilarious. I will video like that, like I'm a Karen. Look at this man, he's throwing my kids in the pool. He's trying to reach, okay, this door.
Speaker: When my dogs were puppies, I couldn't keep them in the backyard because I didn't, I didn't have, the wall wasn't high enough. So I put them in here for a weekend. You know, I let them out of the bathroom and stuff, but when I was building the fence on my backyard wall, so the dogs couldn't jump the wall and could run around the neighborhood, I put them in here.
Speaker: Okay. They just, now the door is made out of basically cardboard. It's like the cheapest door money could buy. Right. And they destroyed said door. And this is a special size door. They don't, you have to have it custom made because it's not as wide as a normal door. So instead of, I haven't gotten around to actually
Speaker: replacing the door. So what I have is three quarter inch plywood on the door frame that was originally there. And instead of a door handle, I have one of those sliding locks that you put on your gate. And just underneath said door handle is a hole where you can put your hand in and unlock it or lock it. Right.
Speaker: My kids know how to unlock it. So every time I turn around and you see a hand, just like when you're in the bathroom by yourself and you see a hand underneath the door. What are you doing, dad? That is Adam's family. And that is, I forgot what that damn movie was. No, no, no, no. When, okay. As a father, you know that you never have free time. And the only place in the house where you can be alone for five minutes is the bathroom. Okay. So while you're taking the shit, you have a hand. What are you doing over there, dad? What are you doing?
Speaker: You're not gonna build a rocket. Leave me alone. You're building a rocket. He's taking off. And of course, their action when you say you're a builder, I want to see the rocket. Get the hell away. And don't be wrong. I love my kids, but there's times where I'm just looking for a place to bury them on. I'm not burning. I just take a shit. You need 30 minutes a piece a day. Exactly.
Speaker: You have to put it on charge. That's why it's not turning on. It's not that difficult to understand. All right. It actually is. Apparently, he's grabbing my old laptop, and he wants to watch. He wants to use that website. He's been watching much movies on there. Daddy, I'm listening. And he's like, it won't turn on. I'm like, well, A, it's not plugged in. B, the battery's dead. Let's kind of do this math. They know what they're doing. No, you know what you're doing. They don't. Yeah.
Speaker: And, but yeah, it's, I, the only reason I built my office in my office is because I can't work in my bedroom because too many distractions for me. Can't work in the living room because the kids are running around watching TV and stuff like that, which means it gets louder. And I'm on calls all day long. So in here I can,
Speaker: I can smoke, I can eat, I can drink, I can do the show, I can do everything and be left alone. And I put that in quotation marks. I understand that, temporarily. For about three minutes. Max.
Speaker: And I'm contemplating going to the store and buying a deadbolt who uses a lock like I have on the front door. No. What you got to do is let them come in there and just sit with you in the parking spot and there's no leave. Like I do with Jason. He's doing it now. Because he's trying to be around you while you're doing what you do. This is what you got to do as a father. Include your son. And I do. Yes. And I do. However. All they want to do is be around. I don't ask for much. This should do.
Speaker: What do I have to talk to? Privacy. Thank you. I don't have it. No, you don't. You had kids, motherfucker. Yeah. Sex trophies. There it is. Sex trophies. That's why they fuck with you because you're an asshole. I don't have kids. I have sex trophies. But it's like, you'd think they'd get bored. No. And they get bored, they come to you.
Speaker: Yeah. And then you literally say, dad, I'm bored. You gotta watch all these fucking animal documentaries. The kids are going to do what they want to do. And then when they're done, they go right back up to their mother and father. Really? Yeah. Oh, OK. Lions. They get out of fucking with each other. They go fuck with daddy. They just go lay on daddy. Daddy looks at them, lay it back down. That's it. Yeah, he pretends to be asleep, so they'll leave him alone. Don't pretend to be asleep. He lets them know that he's chilling. Y 'all all right? All right, don't fuck him.
Speaker: No, it's, it's, and you know, don't be wrong. I love my kids, but there's just times where I'm just like, Oh my God. Because you're around them all the time. You haven't been away from them. And honestly, two, three days away from your kids, the first day away from your kids, you might sleep, but you can't sleep because your environment isn't the same. No, no, no, no. I'm disagreeing right then and there. You can. I'm going to celebrate and drink myself into a stupor because I'm so happy.
Speaker: I remember when I had Jason around all the time and then he was gone. My fucking equilibrium was off. I get off work. I'm like, okay, what am I supposed to do now? I'm normally going to pick him up, run into the store. We got to go. I got time to sit here and then it's confusing. Yeah. Then you don't know what to do. So having kids around is part of the environment. I do like the fact where I don't have to scream. Okay. Here's my question for you, Tony. A little bit of father time here.
Speaker: How often do you really raise your voice to Jason? I barely raise my voice to just people next. I fucking hate you. I get it from my dad. My dad always licked. No, but from what I've seen, Jason's actually a really good kid. Jason is hell. Really?
Speaker: my kids. I've I've I've I've contemplated throwing out the window without opening the window. His mother will call me talking about he did this. He doesn't I know you want to know let me talk to him. That's what my father's doing. Let me talk to him. It drives people nuts. They want you to be the man that beats their ass.
Speaker: The last thing, I hate beating kids. Matter of fact, beating a child is a flashback to me. That is a phrase. Thank you. I've been saying that for years. So you talk to the kids. Do you realize when you talk, if see, now you're going to put me in my mood. No, bro, please, please, because this is the shit I need. You need to remember something about your children. 50 % of who they are is your ass. Why are you going to beat them for being you?
Speaker: when you brought them here in the first place. So what you got to do is talk to their mentality. Jason, we do it. Why do you get different? I don't know. I know where you got it from me. Huh? This is what I used to do. This is what I used to do here. This is what I used to do here. This is how it came up. And they'd be like, Oh, I said, so just don't do it. Are you telling me that shit works? You see Jason when he's around me.
Speaker: You son of a bitch, you don't think. Everybody does what everybody teaches them to do. You're not doing what's in yourself as a parent with your child. 50 % of what your child does come from your ass. You ain't going to beat yourself up, so why beat your child? I always beat myself up. You got to talk to yourself, talk to your child. Over years, it may get old. Yes, guess why? The individuality is kicking in. That's the problem we have.
Speaker: When they go to daycare to get the influence from the other kids, you don't know what's going on. They got that from the other kids. You know who you are within the child. No, you cannot use my phone. His mother will call. She will call and be like, he did this. What do you mean? You got this from me. Every now and then. What do you mean? He got it from you. She get quiet.
Speaker: He got that from you. I'm going to use that. He was like, I never did. I'm like, you don't remember. Let me talk to her. I said, Jason, what happened? Where'd you feel? Where'd it come from? So if you do this, this is what happens. So why don't you do it? You might want to think about it next time. And she gets mad at me. Are you the timeout person? Are you the timeout parent? No, I didn't look him in his face.
Speaker: The worst thing is how we have to listen. Child's fear facing their parents when they do something wrong. Just look them dead in their face. Not mine. Mine can work for the fucking CIA tomorrow. You know what else is wrong with your kids? Stop them from doing something that they want to do five more minutes. Watch them move this shit. Can you tell me now? Why? Because you didn't listen to me. They will sit there and be furious. And now just sit there and look at it. You can tell me.
Speaker: I want to take it away for like a week. A month. It'll take five minutes. When we was kids, we couldn't do what we wanted to do for five good minutes. That was torture. Oh, I do. I do it for a full day. You can. Like, okay. So the problem we have right now, Jeff, and I'm gonna be honest with you, I'll tell every parent this. The biggest problem you have right now is kids don't fear punishment.
Speaker: They do not fear. So it don't matter what the fuck you do. They're going to do it again. You got to think of something else. And I told counsel this. They be like, no, you're actually right. I said, I know. We used to get punished. We waited till we came up punishment. We're going to go fucking do it again. We used to do the punishment. They are worse than we were. These kids don't care what they go through because if they survive it, they'll do it again. Oh, yeah.
Speaker: You got to think about what you're going to do. You got to think about how you're going to discipline them. And trust me, everybody has had spankers. Everybody has had weapons. What you don't want is for them to go to jail. And the one thing I told Jason, I said, you're going to get yourself in a situation where me and your mother can't bail you out. Do you really want that? You ain't got to touch them. Let them think about that shit. Well, you know, I don't think my kids understand that concept. Because they got your mentality.
Speaker: Talk to yourself and then talk to your kids. Watch if there's an effect. Think about it. All I'm saying is think about it. You've done the groundings. You've taken away shit. They still sneaky as fuck. You know why? Because they think what else they can do. What you got to do is get to think about the consequences. I put the locks on the front door. I put a lock on the fucking window. What'd they do? They went out the goddamn back door.
Speaker: Exactly. Exactly. Sneaky. And I'm like, damn. This is your problem. You've got a seven -year -old and an eleven -year -old, correct? Mm -hmm. That's seven and eleven. What are we doing? Trying to get the **** out of the hospital. Hang out with our friends. That's all they want to do. That's all they want to do. They're not out doing drugs. I'm on time. I'm like the dog. They're not out doing drugs. They're not out robbing banks. They're not terrorists. They just want to go hang out with their friends.
Speaker: And I get that. We're worried about the safety and security, which we can't stop every damn day. But if we were 7 -11, we were stuck in the house. We were losing our shit. Oh, no, I get it. And I get that. But it's like, right now, Cancun is not the safest place in the world. The world isn't a safe place. 10 years ago. I'm just realizing what you're saying. 10 years ago, Cancun, shit. 2 o 'clock in the morning, I'd be walking around. Now, after 11 o 'clock, it's not safe to go out.
Speaker: 9 30 the way Jason has watched the news with me and asked me said Danny was somebody asked to try to kidnap me and say yes I said that's why I keep you so close he was like would you try to would you try to save message I probably die to save you from some of these people and I'm telling the truth you know what he did he just sat right up under me
Speaker: He's not scared to do anyway. He's not scared to do anything. But what he thinks about is if I can't get to him, if he doesn't make it back. We were lucky. Let's think about this for a second. We wanted to get out and do what we wanted to do. We didn't care where we went. Let's imagine our parents mentality. That's what we think about with our kids right now. Say what?
Speaker: It was the 80s, man. And I lived my way. They were kidnapping kids back in the 80s. We just didn't fucking know about it. Yeah, but but I also in the 80s, my closest neighbor was two miles in any direction.
Speaker: yours was not now, right? That's what you worried about. That's what you wanted. You don't have that. You know, I grew up in the middle of fucking nowhere, nowhere where your biggest fear was actually falling and hurting yourself. Me and my sister asked my mom to go outside one time while she was asleep. She said, yes, we went about three or four hours. We came back and she was going crazy. We were looking like, what's wrong? She said, y 'all weren't here. We said, we asked you and you say, yes, she said I was asleep. I don't remember.
Speaker: And we was in the apartment complex in New York. So there were thousands of motherfuckers. She didn't know what things. I think about that. I think about that. Now we would go out, we would do this, and she would always be worried sick, but we would always go out. We would always come back by this time. In a place like New York or LA, I get that. That was the late 70s.
Speaker: Exactly. I get that. Exactly. Now, as I watch these videos, these motherfuckers who do white vans, yeah, I'm worried a little sick. When I go to Walmart, I tell Jason, stay right by my hip. 100%. Dude, I got one of those little bit of leashes. In the past year or two, in Macon, Georgia, they found 150 kids that was missing. These are the news. Yeah, they found 150 kids that had been missing. I heard about that.
Speaker: after old girl was put in jail. Epstein's girlfriend? Yeah. Right after she was locked up, do you notice how a bunch of kids, they just started finding her? Yeah, well, she started giving up the goods. I don't know if she gave it up or what, but damn. They kidnapped the kids and they kidnapped the grown folks. I used to watch the N1 mixtape tour on ESPN when the guys were playing street ball and they went down to Rio and they were talking about how they were kidnapped and grown folks. I said, y 'all ain't thinking. Y 'all ain't thinking.
Speaker: It's like, here's my thing. It's like, I totally understand the concept of New York, LA, you know, big city, Chicago, stuff like that. One of the things, when I was like 12, 13, it was the 80s. My parents would be at work, it'd be just me and my sisters, and we'd be bored. And we were big, we were all movie buffs. And
Speaker: you could go to the public library in town and run a movie for a dollar. The movies are trash. No, no, no, they were like, they had new releases. It was like, well, they also had the mom and pop video store that was in town. The library had gone with the winning street car named Desire. No, no, they had some good movies too. Look around and watch McBeth 15 times. No, you know, fuck that. You can watch like Breakfast Club shit like that. You know, they had those.
Speaker: That was the mom and pop star that was in the library. No, no, the library. Our library was good. And so my sisters would sneak into mom and dad's room. And my dad was a big guy. My dad was a I don't use change kind of guy.
Speaker: So he'd pay for something with a dollar, get 75 % for that, put the 75 cents in his pocket. At the end of the day, empty his pockets into a jar. Dad always had change. Or people used to have it in their little ashtray or little cabinet, their little container compartment. My dad had, you know the cheese puff things? My dad had one made out of glass. Yeah, full. It was full of fucking change. And, oh my God. He might still have it. I would not surprise him.
Speaker: and you go in there and grab a handful, you get like $6. He didn't care. He didn't care. If it comes down to like, there's only like $5 left, then he's like, what the fuck, you know? But, you know, a dollar here, a dollar there, no big deal. And we used to go to, what we would do is, my sisters would go in there, give me $4 or $5 and say, go rent some movies. And I'd take my bicycle,
Speaker: and ride an hour and a half into town and the hills are hell and run around town for a minute, go to the movie store, throw movies in the book bag, ride home. You know what else scares me? Take that movie Adam and take a time to kill.
Speaker: I need that shit. Ah, here we go. Here we go. But I mean, it was like back then it was a normal deal. There he is. Finally. Oh, geez, gross. Keep America beautiful. Put a shirt on. Hello, gentlemen. I hope you drop your phone in that pool in that bucket.
Speaker: So jealous. What's going on? Oh, Jesus. We've we've waited all this time. We haven't made any announcements. Would you folks like to make an announcement? You can't say you can't keep quiet for shit. The fuck. She kissed the Sasquatch. You do it. You want to make an announcement? I said you want to show them.
Speaker: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Speaker: Congratulations. Congratulations. Thank you. I don't know why you're going to marry a man with a chest like that. You must be outside your mind. I mean, I grew up in the woods. It's okay. That's a manly man sketch right there, boys.
Speaker: She told me I was the lumber snag earlier when I was down in the woods gathering gathering firewood No, no, not yet. Hold on a second. Let me see here You can't get one fucking picture for me Well, actually we've been
Speaker: We've been busy. We've been busy doing other things. We weren't saying we weren't. Well, no, the kids. No, we went cave exploring. We were going to the beach and we went to the petting zoo and we played Papa. We went on a birthday day. I have a question. I have a question. You have to hang on because Glick's microphone is loud as a motherfucker. Go ahead. And yours is a lower ship. Put the mic close to your mouth.
Speaker: You like big things in your mouth, Jeff. Oh, yeah, I do. You want that? No, but why did you go to the pedicure? You have a click just because I'm not allowed to have baby goats right now. So I had to get my baby goat fixed. Well, baby girl, I got something to tell you what now in charge.
Speaker: We didn't hear you. Your microphone. You are. You are now in charge. Oh, therefore, as the as the homemaker and and this the Jeff sandwich maker, you can say we're getting a **** baby goat. The Jeff. Jeff, not not all relationships works like yours where your life wears the pants. Well, the **** he just started a new one. Calm down.
Speaker: Listen, I met a pig at the petting goat today whose name was Patsy Swine. She's my hero. OK, let me do this properly. You two are here. This song will be dedicated to the two of you, honestly. I was going to say this one just like the first one. I'm taking this one. All right. Well, I'm not going anywhere. I already know. Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be right back. Once again, congratulations to
Speaker: Glick and Mickey. I have no idea. But they're going to go ahead and take this risk of life before that spaceship sail into the galaxy by its god damn self. We'll be back. Ain't no sunshine.
Speaker: It's a cloud away And when it's come outside Nobody's there for me I can't see what can make me
Speaker: But see don't call me honey That stings like a meme There's no music now No buts in the trees And I guess you say
Speaker: It's all
Speaker: She took all my money And gave it back my name And she left me all alone Standing in the right
Speaker: Mondo Mondo Mondo
Speaker: Black Tom Mojo I like Black Tom Mojo, they are my favorites
Speaker: This is my first beer in a couple of days I'm definitely impressed You have to understand, it's been like 100 Austin St. Mike No, dance break tonight I can't see it, we're sure
Speaker: You guys can dance. You can dance off camera. So I said hello, honestly. Yeah, she said hi. No, it's been it's been like 100 plus degrees every day. And I like. Yeah, Tuesday, we know we're running around. Dance break. Dance break.
Speaker: smart woman, smart woman, smart woman. How you doing? She pulled that towel up for every dear life. Just don't. But that was Black Top Mojo.
Speaker: with uh my girl oh jeff i didn't hear you i'm sorry i'm trying to re -entro the show which somebody constantly fucking complains about but as soon as he can show the song ends he can't shut the fuck up yeah no he can't no he's no i agree so that was black top mojo oh my god there was a submarine that was looking for the titanic and and it went missing that's right shut up
Speaker: Yeah, yeah. Son of a bitch. You can't do shit about it. So that was Black Top Mojo with their rendition of My Girl. I do love that song. We are back. We are live on Twitter, Twitch, and YouTube on Nonsense Go Nonsense. Check us out live every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday. We got Tony D. in the house. We got myself in the house. We're going to have to get out of that. Make sure the fans shut the fuck up. Shut up with that loud ass beat. Exactly.
Speaker: And we are on every streaming podcast site there is. Right. Mainly Spotify is our main hub. We do like our Spotify. And we're going to take another mild, mild quick break to pay little bills, gentlemen.
Speaker: what's going on everybody it's your boy Glick and it's summertime which means it's festival season and we're all gearing up to see some of our favorite bands hear some of our favorite songs party all night long and probably drink way more than we should in these hot hot temperatures and we might forget how essential it is to stay hydrated but don't you worry liquid ivy has you covered did you know which is one stick of liquid ivy in 16 ounces of water hydrates you faster and more efficiently
Speaker: than water alone and three times faster than these sports drinks that we all know and love. So go grab you some, maybe some of your favorite flavors like mine, tropical punch, watermelon, strawberry, and passion fruit. Go ahead and head over to liquidiv .com. Use our promo code. Words are hard and get 20 % off of everything you order. Yes, that's right. This episode is brought to you by Liquid IV. Words.
Speaker: Uh, Glick, I don't know if you heard earlier, but I did order something. Oh, you were the one that ordered something. Well, Hey, Nikki's getting ready to dip inside because her son's going to come in here today. Not only does she get engaged today, but today is also her birthday. To my brand new fiance. Oh my God, you're old. Shut up. I love you. Okay. Um,
Speaker: Yeah, I did order some because I was telling Tony earlier, Chris, I'm not a big water person. And and you said that the one you tried the other day, you said it's not real sugary. It's not, you know, and it gives your flavor, water some flavor. Can I tell them what I learned today? Can you tell them what I learned today about Jeff? Go ahead. Yes. Yes. You don't want to know what I learned about you today? That I'm awesome.
Speaker: No, that basically you're an adopted border hopper. You know the difference between a joke and three dicks? Your dad can't take a joke. I don't know what that had to do with me. I don't know. Did you always drop your phone? Did you always drop your phone? No. Oh, your phone moved for a place. Oh, no, I went like that.
Speaker: Oh, your phone looked like you almost dropped it. I was like, Oh, okay. Well, I didn't close it because I was upstairs. We got, we just got back from the beach and I went and got wood for fire tonight and was getting stuff for the grill. We're going to grow out here in a little bit. And I got an email that said, uh, somebody used our promo code. I was like, oh, but damn, how about that? Nice. You know what? No, I really liked that one. And I'll tell you what, uh, the next day.
Speaker: Oh, excuse me. After drinking all night, Saturday night, after just one, I felt I did not feel dehydrated at all. I was more tired than anything else because we stayed up late and then we got up early -ish. I think he had to go to work. So I was just more tired than anything else, but I didn't have that hungover dehydrated, just like. I hate drinking water.
Speaker: And the flavor of water you buy is so fucking sugar. You might as well just drink soda. Kind of tart. A lot of the flavor was of tart. Agreed. Incredibly tart. The one I do like literally is it's got so much sugar it looks like dish soap. Right.
Speaker: And Chris was saying, the liquid IV is not over sugary. It tastes good. It's got a good flavor. And it dehydrates you. I literally at this point today, I have the world's largest split of headache because I'm dehydrated. Because all I drink is soda all day. And of course, I start every day with a dinner tea drink because I'm an asshole. And I took a paracetamol.
Speaker: before the show and it still hasn't fucking kicked in. And I feel like somebody hit me in the head with a Thor's hammer. You know, I'm just like, uh, so, so I, I took the, the promo code and I ordered and I don't know how long it'll take to get here, but I, uh, which ones did you get? I got a strawberry and I got a, uh, a passion fruit.
Speaker: got a box a piece. I think there's a couple in a box. I didn't really look how many was box. It was a sponsor for us. And it really high grade me. So I'm like, fuck it. I'm ordering pretty much. Yeah, Nikki has some I'm gonna order some because I want to try I want to try the watermelon and the passion fruit. I think I got watermelons wrong. Because I was looking at the flavors. I was like, like they have they have a
Speaker: Uh, what was it like mango or something like that or tangerine? I'm not that guy I'm not that guy I'm not the I don't like orange juice. Well orange juice I can drink but it has to be like something to like I'm not I do like I love watermelon. I love um, uh strawberry strawberry kiwi
Speaker: But in the passion fruit, I love dragon fruit. But like grape, I hate anything grape. Anything grape is disgusting. I hate mint. No, grape is okay. Stop that. Some grapes are pretty good. No, I have yet to find a grape that I really like. Like yesterday, I was drinking four Locos and they had a fruit flavored one and they had grape. Well, I was a problem right there. You were drinking four Locos.
Speaker: I attended those things are hard. It's like, you know, fucking can Jeffrey. Yeah, no, I only had one and I was like, well, but it's like, I, it only takes one. I like beer. I like beer. Something with some flavor. Like, like you guys were, you were talking about white call and the only white call they had because you were talking about like flavored drinks.
Speaker: You were going to order last last episode. Oh, no, I was asking. Yeah, I was asking Nikki what she wanted. She likes the flavor. I want I want a flavored drink. I like beer, but something with flavor that I can actually get from. I mean, you saw what I drink. Drink the water down there. I don't fuck you up.
Speaker: Yeah, I was gonna say you did a pretty good job of fucking yourself up What was that Monday or? Sunday night, I think it was No Sunday night cuz Monday night we already down here was Sunday after it was Sunday afternoon Not a very good decision
Speaker: Yeah, I was getting at three o 'clock. I love your phrase that at one o 'clock in the afternoon, I got a check. Well, I mean, buddy, I'm so I'm so it ended. And then I got another one like 30 seconds later. Man, I love you, but I want you to know I love you so much, bro. Man, I think I'm going to Tony.
Speaker: It was Sunday early afternoon No Saturday for him today's Wednesday. That's legit. Yeah. No, he's on the same day as us No, I'm saying from what he showed from Saturday to today. That's legit Yeah
Speaker: Yeah, it was Sunday night or Sunday afternoon. They drink all that now. I had a couple. That's not even you didn't drink a lot. That's a glass of day, which you got in that bottle. It's pretty much a glass. It was almost full. Yeah, but he drank. He drank three quarters of it in a matter of a couple hours. So that's the thing. And he was mixing. It was freaking monster. I'm surprised his heart didn't explode. Agreed.
Speaker: For some reason because I think it was earlier it was so early in the day I could not buy alcohol And the only alcohol I had was that That's all right. We went to we went to the grocery store yesterday and you know Kroger says liquor stores That's where all of our liquor stores are here in Ohio. We don't have the ABCs or the red circles or whatever the dot liquor stores, right? I
Speaker: And we were walking in and Nicki was like, I want to get some vodka so I can like drink vodka and water. And I'm like, all right. And she's like, oh, so forth liquor store is probably not open. I said, what part of leave me a couple of years out of the door? I said, I said, what part of Ohio is a bunch of alcoholics? Do you not understand? It is the fourth of freaking July. It would be a stand if the liquor store was closed today. There'd be riots. Yeah. We would burn that bitch to the ground.
Speaker: She's like, well, in PA, I'm like, you guys are almost in PA. Yeah, exactly. Unfortunately, she's still willing to marry you. She has to get that PA attitude out of her head. She still said yes, just so you know. She still said yes, gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen. Well, here's my question. How many sheets to the wind was she? None. None, actually. Well, see,
Speaker: She kind of, she kind of ruled my plans because I wanted to propose to her today. She was so dead set up and I wanted to do it at the waterfalls or at the caves. And she posted that picture of you fuckers by the waterfall. And I was like, oh, he did it. Oh, he did it. But she's not posting anything. I better not say that. Jeff could not talk about this. Yeah, I know. So so I carried the ring around with me all day last night, all day yesterday from time we left.
Speaker: And then we were trying to decide where we wanted to see fireworks at. And we're going to mix a parking college down here and Logan. But it was like a 20 minute drive. And then when you looked at it online, it was like they opened the parking lot at five. Once the parking lot was full, no more parking. You couldn't park on any of the side streets surrounding, blah, blah, blah. And I said, you know what? My sister lives 20 minutes away from here. My baby's sister.
Speaker: And I haven't seen her in about a year and a half or so. So I said, Hey, I'm going to the fireworks tonight. And she said, yeah. I said, do you care if we come out? We're at Logan for the week. Um, would it be cool if we come out and watch the fireworks with you guys? And she said, well, we live.
Speaker: like a half a mile from the fairgrounds. That's where they set them off at. We're going to walk up and I was like, okay, cool. So we got back from the beach and everything yesterday and we went up and I was like, all right, well, I'm gonna wait for the grand finale of the fireworks. We brought a crate and everything. So Chris, how's it going, bud? How you doing? Good. How you doing, man? Pretty good. I can't complain. So I told her, I was like, when the grand finale starts, I wanted to get a picture with, with you.
Speaker: So I was going to do it. Then I had the girls ready. They were going to record and everything. So like three times I tried to get her attention. I was like, hey, hey, even my my brother -in -law seen it. And when she tried to tell me that he was like, and they had no idea, he was like, yeah, he was trying to get your attention. I don't know what for, but he was trying. So I was like, son of a bitch. Because I had that ace in the hole to beat her. Right. You know, so I was like, I'm going to get her ass.
Speaker: We came back and we got a doc here off of the lake. Well, because our back porch, I don't know if you can really see the. We could cut. If you can see back there behind me, that's the lake back there. Yeah, we see it. Yeah. I mean, and we got a little doc down there. Well, I am only so good night. Right on a birthday. What do you think? I said, I'm going to get it right at midnight, right at midnight on her birthday. I was afraid of falling off the dog because it was.
Speaker: the the the
Speaker: So, so in typical our relationship fashion, it was not like the most, it wasn't anything out of the notebook or, uh, you know, when Harry met Sally or a pretty woman or anything like that. So, but I got her at midnight and I was like, you're stuck. You can't, you should not post on social media. And she's like,
Speaker: She's like, well, I can still text. And I was like, no, you said no. Excuse me. She can still text. That's not social media. But she didn't say social media. She said no phones. No, she said y 'all said you said she started adding caveats about snap streets, streets and did it in and I'm like, all right, whatever, whatever, whatever. And then it turned into no social media. But then it was also the caveat that I added that you can't talk to anybody. Except for your mom and dad and your sons.
Speaker: text or not. And then, uh, and then this morning, she, she finally, she, she lasted all of, all of 12 hours and like 11 of those hours, she was asleep.
Speaker: And she's like, fuck, I don't even care anymore. And I told her, I told her, I was like, I'm not going to make you pay up on your end of the deal because I had you dead set. I set you up for failure. The fact of the matter is you came at the king and you missed. When you play the game of thrones, you play the win. Yes, exactly. And as my man, Rich Flair said, and he ain't cheating, you ain't trying.
Speaker: And as the late great Eddie Greer said, we lie, we cheat, we steal. I'm a champ for a reason. I didn't want to, I didn't want to put in anything that Nikki might accidentally read. So I was being very nonchalant. I was like, so what, uh, what time are we doing this?
Speaker: And he's like, well, I think I might have to do it today because she wants to go to the caves today. And then she posts pictures of them at the caves. And I was like, so I didn't do it. Yeah. Oh, what a boy. God damn. He really can't. He gets so damn excited. He gets so good. Here's the thing. As I said, on social media, my best friend now is bearing his new best friend.
Speaker: Nikki, he's your problem now. Yeah. I love you both. I'm so happy. So excited for you guys. I'm happy. All right. You both been down a shit road for a long time. And and. Amen to that. Now you have a partner in crime down said because now she has to deal with your ass. So I mean, we've been dealing with each other and it's not like we have anything that's going to surprise each other.
Speaker: the the
Speaker: I don't really know. You know, every time they get footage of a Bigfoot sound or Bigfoot calls, they're like loud, high pitched wheels. Yeah. Well, I mean, they kind of made it pretty good in Harry and the Hendersons.
Speaker: Now we, uh, you had, you had cameo with that. That was my cousin. Oh, okay. I was just a baby Sasquatch when that movie came out. Well, you know, the very end of the movie, when Harry leaves, he goes and you see his family and there's a little one. I thought that was you. No, that wasn't me because, cause I was stolen away and I was put in an orphanage. Remember my parents died. Yeah. I grew up in an orphanage.
Speaker: They didn't know what to do. They didn't know what to do with us. Oh, God. What? What? Something. I'm sorry. Well, you can't just go. Oh, my God. And not tell us. Jesus Christ. Freaking news. Where's purpose? And now, wait, wait, Chris is topless. I'm not looking at it.
Speaker: Cancel! I thought you were going to hit me with the cancel. No, no, it's explicit content. That's where the chemicals and stuff are in the filters, crackhead. Dude, I got out of the pool yesterday. I had to get in the parking shower right away. Our cottage is less than half a mile from the beach. We've been at the beach every day after we've, like,
Speaker: Well, Monday, we got I think you got you got there like the great outdoors with Dan Aykroyd, John Candy. Oh, yeah, to be honest with you, kind of sort of. It's like it's just a little it's just a little cottage. It's super cute, man. Cute, man. I could just I could just say, you know, you're going to tell a ghost story about a ball. Yeah. It's time.
Speaker: Yeah, I got stories about this area. Those stories. Why? How do you know? How do I know? Because they're true. Duh. Duh. Okay, tell me. Is that right? Killer Bear. Something. Something. It was a story about a man named Jim. He kept his family fed, you know? Yeah. You know, one day he was shooting at somebody. Yeah.
Speaker: So Monday we got down here, we just kind of chilled out. We went to, uh, there was an Amish buffet that we went to eat at. Oh my God. It was a Dutchman restaurant. It was an all you can eat buffet. No, it wasn't dear Dutchman. It was, uh, old Dutchman. Uh, no, dear Dutchman is up in Amish country.
Speaker: That's that's up north. We're down south. We're in southern Ohio. OK, so it's very similar concept, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Old Dutchman is that all you can eat buffet. We went there. Then, of course, surrounding it is all kinds of antique shop. Holy shit. There's like an antique mall with all kinds of shopping and stuff. Do check this out. There was a there was an authentic World War II Nazi helmet in this in this antique store with the swastika still on the side of it.
Speaker: And you didn't buy it? No, I was. No, why would I? Why would I buy it? Because it would be perfect for our collection. According to everybody, we're racist. Yeah, yeah. My people, you know, I have people that suffered in the World War II that were in concentration camps. No, I'm not saying that. Why would I buy a Nazi memorabilia? We've been labeled as racist so many times. Nazis are not racist.
Speaker: They just wanted to eradicate a certain race. That's kind of like the definition of racist, Chris. I may not be the smartest man on this show, but I kind of know the definition of racist. I don't know if you know. Anywho, but there's a lot of really cool fitness. So we did that Monday. And then yesterday, like I said, yesterday, we went to Spelunky.
Speaker: and the fireworks dude we were like a hundred we were like a hundred two hundred yards away from where they set off the fireworks it was ridiculous dude you you felt them in your damn soul i think i think my great great grandkids felt them damn fireworks last night
Speaker: Uh, one year, the year before I left for the Navy, my buddy's dad, it was his job in, in Lexington, Ohio, shoot off the fireworks and I helped one year. Jesus. Holy shit. But, um, but today, what did we do today? We went to the petting zoo when played putt putt and I walked everybody's ass. No surprise. Greatest of all time. 17 over par.
Speaker: Yeah, I was I was 17 over par but I beat everybody by like 30 points Because the girls gave up and cash can't aim I saw the scorecard actually in the first night In the first in the first in the first nine the first half of putt putt cash came in second place Yeah, and cash in second place
Speaker: Well, yeah, but I mean at the end of the back nine it was just cash and I And we were just fucking around Like we weren't even really trying we were just Yeah, but what did everybody else get sick and six was the limit Oh, I will smoke you in public
Speaker: I wasn't even, I wasn't even really playing. I was just about three weeks ago, a client came down here and took me out golfing. And I actually did pretty good. I was four over par in 18 holes on an actual golf course. First time. I don't, I don't like golf once in my entire life. I'm out motherfucker. It is fun. Honestly, it is. Yeah. I love butt butt.
Speaker: I got you an engagement present. There's one for you and one for Nikki. Oh my God. I can't bear with me. I am. Oh, oh, oh, oh, turn off your camera. I don't need to see that.
Speaker: see what you get now I'm not getting out I'm moving over and I'm having my baby now let's go stay over here she can but I can like I said I'm very happy for you guys I was very excited that is gross as shit so here ladies stoke it in I just lost my appetite
Speaker: Holy shit, I did the impossible Tony's not hungry Join join. I have I have a brand new weight loss. Give me my that a whole beer buggy I Have a whole new brand new weight loss program Yep guarantee you will not eat for a week
Speaker: It won't come on cause the jets aren't on. I'm living my good life down here man. I ain't complaining y 'all. Life is good. You know, like I said, I'm very happy for you guys. All I need to do is to be completed. So find a black bear and we'll put sash down here. Tony, Tony, explain to this man that I love him, but I hope he gets bald. I'm just waiting in the bed to show up.
Speaker: I want them there to show up and put Nicky out of a misery. She seems to be quite happy. The broker, she was dropped on her head.
Speaker: She might be lying. She might be suffering severe brain damage. I don't know, but she seems to be very happy. Anyway, it's a win for me. She doesn't have brain damage dropped on her. Well, she could have been dropped on her head. Are you sure you don't have brain damage? You are a Steelers fan.
Speaker: I just figured it out. I know why Nikki is marrying this. She's gluttin' for punishment. It is her good deed to get into heaven.
Speaker: She has maxed out with her. I don't give a fuck. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
Speaker: Drugs will do that. He's doing you like flowers in the attic. Don't drink, nothing else he makes anymore. Flowers in the attic, wow. Listen, that's because y 'all are jealous. I'm not jealous, trust me. I'm not even jealous.
Speaker: I'm like the old spice commercial look at these two now look at me in a hot tub I'm on a horse. My name is Tony D and I'm on a horse
Speaker: I would forgive you.
Speaker: That is a hell of a dream that we are all coherent of and all know about. That is one hell of a... Damn. I took advice from Beyonce and I put a ring on it.
Speaker: She's emotionally disturbed. Okay, go Beyonce. No. Watch your mouth about Bay. The beehive will get your ass. I'm not talking about. No joke. They got their own church. I'm not fucking Illuminati up in there, man.
Speaker: I'm just saying. I didn't even get to that level yet. You ain't fooling us, Jay -Z. We see you throwing that symbol up every damn. I'm not going that far. I'm just thinking. Y 'all went there. Fire for purple. You just compare yourself to Jay -Z. Put it in the grill and light it. If you're going to compare yourself to Jay -Z, I want you to remember one thing he has always said is one of the best lines he's ever made. Nobody wins when the family feuds. That shit is phenomenal.
Speaker: He did a song called Family Feud. That has got to be one of his best songs ever. I fucking love that shit. I fucking love it. Okay. Spoiler alert. Unless I find a song I like. My Spotify list is just songs that I like. I don't listen to songs I don't film. Tony, do you see why you get fucked up and in the show all the time? You see how easy it is?
Speaker: it's not easy at all you said it's not easy at all nah cause there's a big red button that says in but that's all I have I don't have a a leave or anything that's cause he uses an iPhone I do use an iPhone I don't know what the hell that has to do with anything but okay no cause I can't see it on an iPhone that it is an Android because it's got a camera
Speaker: I was looking at the other day and on the Android, it's almost impossible to end the show. On the Android it is, but on the iPhone, the buttons are kind of. See, he did it. Yeah, I hit the wrong one by accident. Now, mind you, a lot of times when I hit the wrong button, I'm in a rush on doing something. Or I'm drunk. What was your excuse? The truth. The truth.
Speaker: There's nothing to excuse when it's the truth. I figured out how to do it. You just push the arrow button back on the bottom of your phone, Jeff. That'll do it too. Well, there's one of the leave studio and one says end broadcast. And I do get the most of it. Well, there's not a leave studio or anything like that on the Android. I literally, at the bottom of the phone, there's that back arrow. I hit it and I'm out. I'm going.
Speaker: Yeah, and they don't... I'm outing 5 ,000 Throwback, ladies and gentlemen! No, you know... Baby, this time it'll stick! Baby, this time it'll stick! What are you talking about? Nothing, no one, I figured it out
Speaker: Well, my assumption is that you've drugged everyone. Drugged everyone what? Women. Maybe this time the drugs won't wear off. Have you seen them? Yeah, I mean, I'm scared. I don't need to drug nobody's.
Speaker: Appreciate it, Jeff. Appreciate it. Yeah. I gotta save the children, Tony. You gotta save the children. Calm down, Michael Jackson. Why am I Michael Jackson? I don't know. You and your weird obsession with children. No, I'm Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy? That's not really any better there, bro. He's a villain.
Speaker: What's what's the guy from from uh coming to America? What's what's the guy's the same name? It's Eddie Murphy doing it. What's what's this guy's name? Eddie Murphy is Hakeem or Simeon Wasimi. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Eddie Murphy also played the guy singing from the band sexual. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, hon.
Speaker: No, that's OA. No, the guy singing at the church thing, where he stood first, and he's like, of course, Arsenio Hall played the Reverend. And he introduced the singer, which is wearing that weird fucking tux.
Speaker: and he's like, you remember him from the what's going down episode? Oh, that's my mom. Randy Watson. Randy Watson. Yes. I'm Randy. He ever stopped believing for that? Yeah. He just set the phone down. We're looking at this guy.
Speaker: You know, if we get the phone down so you guys didn't see me. Did you say you see you twerking? I never want to see that. Oh, what are we going to do with him? We're doing nothing. We out of it. That's right. It's her problem now.
Speaker: I am mad if you're happy, celebrate. That's how school will be.
Speaker: episode, he's gonna hit himself on fire. Me man, me man, me me fire. You look like that ginger billy guy from TikTok. The way the light is, if you're all red. Ginger billy. Yes, I love that dude. My wife, please.
Speaker: He did a whole thing about it. He did a rant the other day where he was like, my wife says I buy stupid things. Why do I need seven motorcycles? Austin, will you run up and grab my flip flops, please? Up there by the front door. It's all so flat.
Speaker: This motherfucker don't wear from head and shoulders to body. Jesus Christ. How do you wash it? How do you wash my beard? No, how do you wash it? How do I wash myself? When a wookie like you uses shampoo,
Speaker: Not a wookie, I'm a Sasquatch. You racist motherfucker. You're the whole body. No one's racist or homophobic. Wookiees and Sasquatches are not the fucking same and they keep trying to tell me that they are and they don't know. See, they definitely are not. You racist motherfucker. Tony, agree with me or not. A wookiee is just a Sasquatch that went into space.
Speaker: If he agrees with you, then he agrees with the fact that you think all black people look the exact same. No, first of all, you're not going to go by to me. So a wookiee was already a Sasquatch is from Earth. Maybe you're just a bitch. Maybe you're looking you don't know it.
Speaker: Not a Wookiee, I'm a Sasquatch. Sasquatch and ease. Wookiees are originally from another planet, so they're not related. Yeah, see, thank you, Tony D. Thank you for being the point. Sasquatch are Wookiees that got stranded on Earth. No, they're not. They left Kashyyyk, and they landed on Earth, and then their ship broke. Jesus. They all left, and they left a glyphy.
Speaker: I can't stand the rain. Nicki Subaha. I can't stand the rain. I feel the wind. Five, six, seven, eight, nine, eight. That's the only scapegoat she's going to have, boy.
Speaker: I can't stand the Jeff. He loves this problem. I'm over here being a lumber snack. I'm building a fire in my, got my wood out. You were, you were trying to be not talking about your wood in the woods. No fucking more. I don't need to hear that shit. She told me I was, she told me I was a bill further. And then she told me I was a lumber snack.
Speaker: The girls were like, Oh, you're not a deal. But those were excellent. I was out here and flip flops in my swimming strokes, stopping down wood with my Rambo knife for the fire pit tonight. How about here? My flip flops and my swimming trunks from the beach cutting down.
Speaker: trees and shit. I got my Rambo night, my Rambo survival night. And she's on her phone going, he's a lumber snake. That is kind of like Jeff when your wife used to think, well, you thought she was talking about you, but she was clearly on the phone with somebody else when she said, that's a man. Or if Nikki ever does a long trip away from your, you know,
Speaker: Where we be earlier when I was out here with a goddamn Rambo survival night shopping in the center book movie love post number nine Okay in the movie They go and they they get a There's both scientists and they meet a gypsy woman who gives them a pile of love motion and
Speaker: The one you said a book gets caught up with this douchebag and found out about it. And basically when you take this and you speak to a person of the opposite sex, they get attracted to you. They're never, this guy would, he would, he would take it and then call her every hour. Hopefully that'll work. I used what was left in that instant light bag. Put a bunch of lumber and stuff on top of it.
Speaker: I don't know that Nicki better make her own drinks from now. I won't stop fucking around with your ass. That's what you need to do. What's up to the kitties and Nicki? Say hi, everybody. That is a happy family. We even got Nicki's youngest and his girlfriend right here. Word. They come out. Word to your mother, Tony Dean.
Speaker: What'd you say she's pregnant There's this Facebook page Tony D that I followed it's called diarrhea hip -hop on Facebook and They ran a bracket style greatest rapper of all time and
Speaker: Eminem has just been slaughtering everybody by double digit thousands of votes, right? Dude, you should see all the, but her people in the comments, all the whites and their savior, the white have their savior. They're going to, and I'm like, well, in two rounds I voted against him.
Speaker: You got to vote against him. He's he's he's he's fucking dope. Let's be clear. Eminem is fucking dope. Eminem has respect. Well, one guy had to go ahead and put this out there. All right. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, Eminem was not the greatest rapper because he's not even top 10. He can't be.
Speaker: 50 Cent was quoted in one guy. And I got a preference this way because of how the conversation was going. A black dude quoted 50 Cent and said 50 Cent mad because 50 Cent said in an interview, you're mad because the white guy is doing your music better than 95 % of you out there. I saw that. I saw that. Eminem is not better than two rappers off the rip that are barely top 10. And I say that respectfully. I'm not even dissing them.
Speaker: He's not better than Twister. He's not better than Busta Rouse. Just stop it. Well, I mean, I think you're talking. I'm gonna think we're talking like as a rapper and whole not just your record sales. They're not talking about rapping there. Eminem can rap his ass off. But I mean, you can't speed rap, but he ain't gonna keep up with the question. He can speed rap. Yeah, but you know, it was a motherfucking monster.
Speaker: Yeah, I wouldn't say he's better than me. We're the Earth. Grab God and calm down. Those two songs alone, Eminem went the fuck off. He did. He truly did. And I'm going to tell you, he doesn't put himself above the people that came before him. That's the respect we got from him. So mainly it's the people that came before him that kind of lived in his way and his style, even though he had his own style. But when he started switching it up and doing his own thing, he has his own national line.
Speaker: He will go down as one of the rap gods. Yes. He will. Absolutely. Absolutely. But he would not leave. Honestly and truthfully, for me, it's going to go no. I was waiting for it. You fucking beat me to it, you shit. And on that note, enjoy the rest of the show. Love you guys. I'll see you all Monday or Saturday.
Speaker: Yeah, we're out of here. Because I'm about to drop down myself. Mine is about to come on. I got to get ready for bed. Well, we have 10 minutes. Let's get set up. We got four before the show starts. OK, well, let's pick a song. Daddy. What? Are you guys only done? Yes. He's almost done. We're almost done. I'm trying to get him out at a decent hour. Whereas they made three hours. This is pretty good. Well.
Speaker: Uh, I'm trying to find a song. Don't see anything that I'm like, oh, you know what I want. Uh, I actually saw one earlier. I was going to play for the second break that you took over and I'm okay. She is cute. Ain't she Sadie? How you doing over there? You good? Well, this is, uh,
Speaker: You know what I actually like to say? It is Lanny Gardner singing Dreams by Fleetwood Mac.
Speaker: You want your freedom Well, who am I to keep you down? It's all right that you should play the way you feel it But listen carefully to the sound
Speaker: Of a loneliness like a heartbeat drives you mad In the stillness of remembering what you had And what you loved
Speaker: when it's raining. There's only love you when they're playing. Say, oh, Emma, they will come and they will go alone. When the rain washes you, clean you, Lord.
Speaker: Now here I go again I see the crystal visions I keep my visions to myself It's only me that wants to wrap around your dreams and Have you any dreams you like to sell?
Speaker: Remembering what you had And what you loved And what you had And what you loved Thunder only happens when it's raining
Speaker: Oh, they love you with their pain Say, well, they will come and they will go Where the rain washes you clean you low Oh, thunder only happens when it's raining
Speaker: They love you when they're playing Yeah, women, they will come and they will go home When the rain washes you clean
Speaker: Not bad for sitting on her bed and BJ is singing that song. She's getting really, really good. Laini Gardner singing Fleet with Max Peters. Mike said she fucking killed him. I'm in front of him. Because I can't sing for shit. But we are at our final hour, final, final minutes here. Check us out live. Thanks everybody for coming.
Speaker: Huh? Give us your outro, motherfucker. Oh, I better hurt you. I'm watching the uh. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, appreciate all of y 'all for being here. This is actually fun. Once again, congratulations to Glick and Nikki. Honestly, all jokes aside, all both should decide. I do wish both of you all the best. Yes, we're going to try to make it. I want you all to enjoy yourselves. Big ups to the family and everybody being united together.
Speaker: Quite simple, that's for them and for everybody else who got a problem with them, this, us, anything positive, anything we got going on, all types of excitement that we have and the fun that we tend to enjoy, mother, had you, mother, made you, motherfucker. Boom. And if Chris was sayer, he would say, it'll be good. But I'm just gonna say, deuces. Deuces. We're out, bye folks. Peace y 'all.
