Transcript
Speaker: The Honor and Remember Flag is a nationally recognized symbol that sends a message of appreciation for the sacrifice made by our fallen heroes and their families.
Speaker: The flag flies at many NASCAR races around the country, and you can help honor our nation's fallen military members and remember the eternal sacrifice of their service by flying the flag too.
Speaker: Text FLAG to 71777 or visit honorandremember.org to learn more.
Speaker: Together, we remember them all.
Speaker: There's been an odd shift in human behavior over the last 15 plus years.
Speaker: A sense of entitlement.
Speaker: A constant need for attention.
Speaker: Ironically coupled with the need to be left alone.
Speaker: A desire to be treated the same as everyone else.
Speaker: Stupidly combined with the mindset of, I'm special, so treat me accordingly.
Speaker: Introducing the book, Amateur Nation.
Speaker: The Decline of Common Sense Manners and Social Skills.
Speaker: The second edition.
Speaker: Inside, you'll read the amateur mission statement.
Speaker: The 30 Truths About Amateurs.
Speaker: The Four Stages of Being an Amateur.
Speaker: Amateur Habitats and History.
Speaker: Social Media Plus Me, Me, Me Equals Amateur.
Speaker: Technology and Amateur Behavior.
Speaker: With dozens of real funny photos, weird signs, and laugh-out-loud real-life accounts and actual conversations vividly showing how us pros are surrounded by Amateur Nation every day.
Speaker: Download the expanded second edition of the e-book, Amateur Nation, The Decline of Common Sense Manners and Social Skills.
Speaker: The second expanded edition, available now.
Speaker: Be a pro.
Speaker: Go to Amazon.
Speaker: Type Amateur Nation.
Speaker: Warning.
Speaker: The podcast you are about to hear is often based on true events and people.
Speaker: It chronicles the dialogue and actions of random, anonymous, obnoxious, self-entitled, unintelligent, self-centered idiots.
Speaker: Attention whores, ignoramuses, dolts, clods, nimrods, douches, weirdos, drama queens, overly sensitive crybabies, and people who think they are better, more important, and special than the rest of us.
Speaker: In one word, amateurs.
Speaker: Amateurs.
Speaker: It's Amateur Nation with Lou Santini.
Speaker: He's the greatest American hero ever born.
Speaker: Hey, I'm not arguing.
Speaker: We call attention to and call out the amateurs.
Speaker: The people who are doing life wrong.
Speaker: The speed bumps of life.
Speaker: The people that are in your way every day.
Speaker: The unintelligent, obnoxious, attention-horning, self-entitled, drama queen, victim types...
Speaker: who chip away at the moments of your life due to no self-awareness, common sense, manners, or social skills, and are disturbing the flow of the pros.
Speaker: Hi, Mom.
Speaker: Oh, hey, Lou.
Speaker: Amateur Nation.
Speaker: It's not just a podcast.
Speaker: It's a movement.
Speaker: And this is episode 235.
Speaker: This episode has zero emissions.
Speaker: Happy amateurs?
Speaker: And as always, Pro Nation first.
Speaker: Shouts out to MassDawson1025 on Truth Social.
Speaker: R. Sean Wald, Joshua Hutt, Unusual Whales, Dr. Yolo Pepperoni, Madison Lehman, Louis the Lens, Raul Easy, Dave Benedict, and Timmerholt all following me and checking me out on Instagram.
Speaker: Follow me there at lou.santini3.
Speaker: Okay, before we get started...
Speaker: This.
Speaker: Recently, fellow comedian Nick DiPaolo posted a photo he took of 93-year-old Clint Eastwood enduring 95-degree heat to direct a movie in his neighborhood.
Speaker: He said, try getting a 20-year-old today to pick up an extra shift at work.
Speaker: Just three episodes ago, I was talking about how most millennials, most, not all, but most millennials have no business having jobs that involve interacting with actual human beings.
Speaker: Stick to your computer cubicles, you fucking automatons, and stay out of the public eye.
Speaker: Now recently, I went to Staples, one of the most depressing stores of all time, right?
Speaker: It's an office supply store.
Speaker: I don't expect it to be fun, but could it not be so miserable?
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, I can order stuff online.
Speaker: I, unlike Amateur Nation, am still trying to keep brick-and-mortar stores in business, and I needed ink right away.
Speaker: Not two days past Prime, which is supposed to be within two Amazon calendar days.
Speaker: Anyway, as always, five checkout lines, and this time only one cashier, except this time it wasn't in the checkout line section.
Speaker: It was over by the photo processing, passport, making copies, and buying fancy pens section.
Speaker: So I go over to the checkout line and there's no one there.
Speaker: So I look at the other counter.
Speaker: It reads, checkout.
Speaker: And there he is, a scrawny, concave-chested, oppressed millennial.
Speaker: Want to guess how many piercings and different hair colors he had going on?
Speaker: Six piercings and three different hair colors.
Speaker: So this kid is fucking miserable, right?
Speaker: If I worked in Staples, I might be drilling holes into my face for fun too.
Speaker: But I'm trying to be respectful and not prejudge, so I just said, can you check me out?
Speaker: Here's his answer, and I quote, I guess so.
Speaker: So I said, well, there's no one at the other checkout lines.
Speaker: He replies, story of my life, man.
Speaker: And I said, well, that's a terrible life and a terrible story.
Speaker: Change your story, change your life.
Speaker: Here's what's happening in Amateur Nation.
Speaker: Perhaps you had better start from the beginning.
Speaker: Step one.
Speaker: Topic number one.
Speaker: I'm not going to lie.
Speaker: I got mentally erect when I saw the subject of the first topic.
Speaker: It's a video featuring two communist billionaires who have the balls to ask you for money to help them get more money and ruin America further.
Speaker: It's called Five Reasons to Donate $5 to Joe Biden Today.
Speaker: The title alone makes you want to punch something.
Speaker: Five reasons for $5.
Speaker: That's only a dollar a reason.
Speaker: What a steal, he said on purpose.
Speaker: Here's President Coloring Book and Barack Okami asking for your donation of only $5 to their 2024 election campaign.
Speaker: What else are you going to do with that $5?
Speaker: Buy eight eggs?
Speaker: Now, before I play this, plan on saying $5.
Speaker: Are you fucking kidding me?
Speaker: At least five times.
Speaker: Warning, this commercial has a cringe factor of 10 out of 10.
Speaker: Second warning, this is going to make you mad.
Speaker: Like your intelligence is being insulted mad.
Speaker: Before I even play it, I should tell you that President Coloring Book isn't even looking in the right direction of the camera.
Speaker: I'll play it in its entirety first.
Speaker: It's only a little over a minute.
Speaker: And then I will deconstruct and demolish it.
Speaker: There's five reasons why I'm asking you to donate $5 to my campaign.
Speaker: With some help from a friend.
Speaker: Hey, Barack.
Speaker: Hey, Joe.
Speaker: Good to see you, man.
Speaker: Good to see you.
Speaker: Number one, our last campaign was powered by donations from grassroots supporters like you.
Speaker: Number two, your donations are the reason President Biden won the last election.
Speaker: And when he won, he built on our progress with the ACA.
Speaker: He passed the biggest climate bill in world history.
Speaker: And he brought our economy back from crisis.
Speaker: That's because of you.
Speaker: Number three, we've got a lot more progress to make.
Speaker: Protecting voting rights.
Speaker: Protecting Social Security and Medicare.
Speaker: Fighting for our fundamental freedom of love to make your own health care choices and to read certain books to your kids.
Speaker: We can't do it without you.
Speaker: Number four, Joe might even call you.
Speaker: Not a joke.
Speaker: Number five, we're up against the first real fundraising deadline in the campaign, and we need you with us.
Speaker: It really makes a difference to me, and I really appreciate it.
Speaker: So take it from me.
Speaker: And me.
Speaker: And go to joebiden.com to join our campaign.
Speaker: Okay, hopefully you didn't punch the dashboard of your car too hard or whatever was nearby in your house, but let's break it down.
Speaker: There's five reasons why I'm asking you to donate $5 to my campaign.
Speaker: Uh, between the both of yous, you can fund your own campaign without my help times a hundred.
Speaker: Some help a friend.
Speaker: Of course he needs help making this commercial.
Speaker: He needs help sitting.
Speaker: We've seen him walk stairs and ride a bike.
Speaker: Listen to how cool they talk to each other.
Speaker: Hey, Barack.
Speaker: Hey, Joe.
Speaker: Good to see you, man.
Speaker: Good to see you.
Speaker: Hey.
Speaker: Good to see you, man.
Speaker: That's how presidents talk to each other.
Speaker: They're just like you, streetwise amateurs.
Speaker: Number one, our last campaign was powered by donations from grassroots supporters like you.
Speaker: No, it was powered by George Soros, China, and election fraud.
Speaker: See, 2,000 mules.
Speaker: Also, I wish you could see this president coloring book is looking everywhere, but in the direction of the camera lens.
Speaker: Number two.
Speaker: Your donations are the reason President Biden won the last election.
Speaker: Did you mean for all those words to come out together or did they just fall out randomly?
Speaker: And when he won, he built on our progress with the ACA.
Speaker: He passed the biggest climate bill in world history.
Speaker: Well, it's easy to create the biggest anything based on a lie and fraud.
Speaker: And he brought our economy back from crisis.
Speaker: Now you're just trying to piss me off.
Speaker: Remember that crisis when gas was well under $2 and eggs were cheaper than crack and you got a tax refund and your IRA and 401k wasn't on the brink of being looted?
Speaker: Yeah, that crisis.
Speaker: But see, the amateurs they're pandering to are under 30 and they don't follow any of those things and or aren't affected by them.
Speaker: Nor are they planning for a future beyond this weekend.
Speaker: So it sure sounds good.
Speaker: That's because of you.
Speaker: Good job, amateurs.
Speaker: All three of you voters.
Speaker: Number three, we've got a lot more progress to make.
Speaker: Protecting voting rights.
Speaker: Doesn't it make you crazy how so many Americans don't have the right to vote?
Speaker: Or can't?
Speaker: Or don't have a ride?
Speaker: Or know where to vote?
Speaker: Or don't have IDs?
Speaker: Or are illegal aliens?
Speaker: You've got to protect that shit.
Speaker: Protecting Social Security, Medicare.
Speaker: Fighting for our fundamental freedom of love.
Speaker: As we see two men with their arms around each other.
Speaker: Not overly romantic, but rather two men who might be congratulating each other on a good performance in their recreational softball league.
Speaker: Kind of like, now let's go get a beer!
Speaker: With their backs to the camera.
Speaker: They're careful not to show two men kissing, but at least they are free to love.
Speaker: Remember when, under Trump, you weren't allowed to love whoever you wanted?
Speaker: I had so many women who were the ones that got away because the president didn't allow me to love them.
Speaker: Make your own healthcare choices.
Speaker: Except when it comes to wearing masks, going outside, operating your business, and getting an untested gene experiment that has made millions sick and or dead.
Speaker: Not to mention health insurance is a joke, and the medical world lacks any kind of reliability, credibility, and trust.
Speaker: Read certain books to your kids.
Speaker: Except Dr. Seuss, that scumbag.
Speaker: But here's a story on how to give a blow job and how to try anal.
Speaker: Enjoy, Timmy.
Speaker: We can't do it without you.
Speaker: They can and will.
Speaker: Number four, Joe might even call you.
Speaker: A. Joe hasn't used a phone since they were the kind that had the earpiece that you held up to your ear and you spoke into the box hanging on the wall.
Speaker: B. Please, God, please let Joe Biden call me.
Speaker: I'm half tempted to send $5 just to beg him to call me.
Speaker: It would be the greatest call I've ever taken.
Speaker: I'd play it out of loop on this show and make it the cornerstone of every episode.
Speaker: C. President Coloring Book is so feeble, he could call you and you could reply, Joe, is your refrigerator running?
Speaker: And he'd reply, let me go check.
Speaker: Followed by the sound of a phone being set down on the counter, never to be picked up again.
Speaker: Not a joke.
Speaker: That's the one thing he said that isn't funny.
Speaker: By the way, the shot on camera is a president coloring book holding a cell phone as if he was in the middle of talking to a citizen.
Speaker: But isn't he supposed to be doing this commercial with Barack?
Speaker: Great directing.
Speaker: Number five, we're up against the first real fundraising deadline in the campaign.
Speaker: And we need you with us.
Speaker: It really makes a difference to me, and I really appreciate it.
Speaker: So take it from me.
Speaker: And me.
Speaker: And go to JoeBiden.com to join our campaign.
Speaker: If you donate a penny to this commie, you might as well sign over all your assets to him as well.
Speaker: You're that stupid.
Speaker: Actually, if you're an amateur and you hate my show, please donate $5 to me, and I guarantee I will call you.
Speaker: I'll let you say whatever you want.
Speaker: I'll play it on this show, and you can spout off however you like.
Speaker: Honest.
Speaker: You'll feel better since the world will hear your precious feelings and you won't have contributed to the biggest traitor in American history.
Speaker: And now for step two.
Speaker: Topic number two.
Speaker: It's time for This Week in Corporate Tyranny.
Speaker: As I've said repeatedly on this show and in my book, I'm fine with technology as long as A, it works and does exactly what it's supposed to do, B, doesn't track, trace, and run my life, and also C, as long as when it does fail, as all technology does at some point, my world won't come crashing down.
Speaker: Oh yeah, one more thing.
Speaker: Remember how pro-nation keeps saying how technology plus social credit scores plus controlling your life equals communism, that it will happen if it continues to go unchecked?
Speaker: Remember how amateur nation poo-poos that notion?
Speaker: From the New York Post, Amazon shuts down customers' smart home devices after delivery drivers' false racism claim.
Speaker: Here's the article.
Speaker: Amazon shut off a man's smart home devices for a week after a delivery driver falsely accused the customer of hurling a racial slur via a doorbell intercom, the tech giant confirmed.
Speaker: Brandon Jackson, who was black, said he found himself digitally exiled by the company on May 25th, less than 24 hours after an Amazon delivery driver dropped off a package at his home and reported him for being racist.
Speaker: The homeowner said he was informed of the unwarranted lockout after contacting Amazon when he realized he couldn't interact with his smart home devices.
Speaker: Jackson said, I was told that the driver who had delivered my package reported receiving racist remarks from my ring doorbell.
Speaker: Spoiler alert, the man did not say anything racist.
Speaker: More on that in a moment, but even if he did, there's your social credit score tracking control communism in action.
Speaker: The article continues, Jackson, an engineer at Microsoft, was quick to point out flaws in the allegation, including that none of his family members were actually home when the package was dropped off.
Speaker: He then reviewed footage from the various surveillance cameras set up outside his home and confirmed no such racial slur was uttered.
Speaker: Jackson said, instead, the doorbell had issued an automated response.
Speaker: Excuse me, can I help you?
Speaker: The driver who was walking away and wearing headphones...
Speaker: You're at work.
Speaker: Headphones off.
Speaker: Must have misinterpreted the message.
Speaker: Yeah, I know.
Speaker: Excuse me, can I help you?
Speaker: That sounds like racial epithets.
Speaker: The article says, nevertheless, by the following day, my Amazon account was locked and all my Echo devices were logged out.
Speaker: Here's the next step.
Speaker: Amateurs go rush out and get an electric car, especially one of those equipped with kill switches, you know, for your safety.
Speaker: Wait a minute, you're being sarcastic.
Speaker: Remember, a common thread of communism is you don't know how to take care of yourself.
Speaker: The government knows what's best for you.
Speaker: We will handle things so you can just relax and be safe and enjoy life.
Speaker: Now stay inside, take these drugs, eat this processed food, turn off the lights and watch your mouth.
Speaker: The article says Jackson insisted he supported Amazon taking extra precautions to protect delivery drivers, but questioned why he had to be locked out of his account for a week as an internal probe was carried out.
Speaker: Despite promptly submitting video evidence immediately upon learning of the issue, my account remained locked.
Speaker: And despite numerous calls and emails, the homeowner said his account wasn't reinstated until six days later.
Speaker: Ah, convenience.
Speaker: Ice cream makers Ben & Jerry's know two things, ice cream induced obesity and now communism.
Speaker: Okay, three things, stupidity.
Speaker: Learning nothing from Target, Bud Light, Disney, Hershey's, Sephora, the list goes on and on.
Speaker: They recently said on Twitter, on Independence Day no less.
Speaker: This 4th of July, it's high time we recognize that the U.S. exists on stolen indigenous land and commit to returning it.
Speaker: Okay, time out, sitting jackass.
Speaker: High time.
Speaker: I'm sure they were when they posted that.
Speaker: From Fox Business, this is glorious.
Speaker: Don Stevens, chief of the, I hope I'm saying this right, Nohegan Band of the Cusack Abenaki Nation, told the New York Post that he looks forward to any kind of correspondence with the brand to see how they can better benefit indigenous people, noting that the company's South Burlington, Vermont headquarters is on Western Abenaki land.
Speaker: He said, if you look at the Abenaki traditional way of being, we are place-based people.
Speaker: Stevens told the Post.
Speaker: Before recognized tribes were in that state, we were the ones who were in this place.
Speaker: A. Native American Indian tribes battled each other for land for centuries.
Speaker: I guess as long as it's the same race killing each other, it's okay.
Speaker: Maybe that's why black-on-black crime stats are ignored by mainstream media.
Speaker: B. Funny how America, its freedoms, its capitalism, never a problem until communism creeps in.
Speaker: C. Every country on earth was somehow eventually called what it is called because one group of people surrendered to another group.
Speaker: I'm not saying it's right.
Speaker: I'm saying what is.
Speaker: Can't turn back time.
Speaker: D. What exactly, specifically, Ben & Jerry's, is your plan for returning the land?
Speaker: What logistics have you mapped out?
Speaker: What is your step-by-step plan, ice cream makers?
Speaker: Where does the American population go then?
Speaker: Yeah, just shut the fuck up and keep cranking out ice cream flavors based on bad puns.
Speaker: E, you gotta love Monday morning quarterback amateurs who would do things differently if they had a say in it without any prior thought, critical thinking, and most importantly, historical research.
Speaker: as Al Pacino's character perfectly said in Glengarry Glen Ross.
Speaker: You never open your mouth till you know what the shot is.
Speaker: And now I would like to announce Ben & Jerry's new woke flavors.
Speaker: Oppression Berry.
Speaker: Fair warning, it's bitter.
Speaker: Kami Red Velvet.
Speaker: Plant-based vegan chocolate snowflake swirl.
Speaker: Well, that sounds about as appetizing as a big plate of dirt or something.
Speaker: Virtue Signaling Vanilla.
Speaker: Transgender Pistachio with no nuts.
Speaker: Social Credit Score S'mores.
Speaker: And of course, Communist Crunch.
Speaker: Every Thursday is Sneak Peek Thursday on all my social medias.
Speaker: YouTube, at Lou Santini.
Speaker: Facebook, at Lou Santini Entertainment.
Speaker: Instagram, at Lou.Santini3.
Speaker: And Truth Social, at Lou Santini3.
Speaker: The dumbest idea Mr. Burns, I mean President, coloring book has never had on topic number three, next.
Speaker: Hi, pros.
Speaker: Lou Santini here, host of Amateur Nation.
Speaker: My Dry Bar Comedy Special, Amateur Nation, is now available.
Speaker: And just like this show, if you're allergic to a lack of common sense in today's world, and you like your comedy delivered with uncompromising talent like it is bite, then check out my half-hour comedy special, Amateur Nation.
Speaker: Go to drybarcomedy.com slash Lou S. This is my way of saying thank you to the pros who listen to this show every week.
Speaker: DrybarComedy.com slash Lou S. Amateur Nation is not just a podcast, it's a movement.
Speaker: The honor and remember flag is a nationally recognized symbol that sends a message of appreciation for the sacrifice made by our fallen heroes and their families.
Speaker: The flag flies at many NASCAR races around the country, and you can help honor our nation's fallen military members and remember the eternal sacrifice of their service by flying the flag too.
Speaker: Text FLAG to 71777 or visit honorandremember.org to learn more.
Speaker: Together, we remember them all.
Speaker: All right, now step three.
Speaker: Topic number three.
Speaker: Hit me!
Speaker: I googled benefits of the sun.
Speaker: Just six quick ones.
Speaker: Sunlight kills bacteria.
Speaker: Sunlight may reduce high blood pressure.
Speaker: Sunlight can regulate the immune system.
Speaker: Sunlight strengthens bones.
Speaker: Sunlight can improve sleep quality.
Speaker: Sunlight boosts mood.
Speaker: President coloring books administration?
Speaker: Stupid sun, it's making the earth hot.
Speaker: We expect more from a ball of fire that's been around since just before Biden was born.
Speaker: Notice all the benefits of the sun are things amateur nation didn't want during the pandemic shutdowns.
Speaker: We can't have Americans walking around healthy, vital, and positive.
Speaker: Keep them indoors, drugged, fat, and reliant on electricity.
Speaker: If you don't see that by now, you really got to consider trying again in the next life as soon as possible.
Speaker: I'd like to use different websites and sources whenever I can on this show.
Speaker: From Cowboy State Daily.
Speaker: Here's your headline.
Speaker: And I love how even the headline has sarcasm in it.
Speaker: You ready?
Speaker: Now Biden once studied to block the sun to fight global warming.
Speaker: Oh, hang on a second.
Speaker: I thought it was changed to climate change.
Speaker: The article says the quest to save the planet from global warming has reached a fevered pitch with the White House expressing interest in studying a method of cooling the planet down by blocking the sun.
Speaker: The White House released a congressionally mandated report that indicates the Biden administration is supportive of the study of solar radiation modification.
Speaker: Sometimes referred to as geoengineering, the strategy tries to reflect more sunlight back into space in hopes of reducing the amount of its heat coming down to the lower levels of the atmosphere, thereby reducing global warming.
Speaker: While the White House was only signaling its support for studying the idea, David Blackman, a longtime energy analyst, writer, and author of Energy Transition Absurdities, said a lot of bad ideas on addressing climate change begin with studies.
Speaker: He said, a group of climate activists lobbied politicians in Congress to get them to mandate the study.
Speaker: The very fact that someone out there in the climate alarm community is pushing this to friendly people in Congress means this is a serious idea.
Speaker: And an organization based out of San Francisco called Make Sunsets isn't waiting for the federal study or any federal programs.
Speaker: Could this get any stupider?
Speaker: Of course it can.
Speaker: For a fee of $10, you can buy a cooling credit.
Speaker: And the company launches a balloon that releases one gram of reflective clouds into the stratosphere.
Speaker: The company says this will offset the warming effect of one ton of carbon for one year.
Speaker: And there are discounts for bulk orders.
Speaker: If you send this organization one penny and you don't send me $10 first, you're an amateur.
Speaker: Hey, you want to go get a beer?
Speaker: I can't.
Speaker: I spent $10 on a reflective cloud and another $5 to Biden and Barack Obama.
Speaker: Quoting former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, who was referring to socialism, David Blackman said the problem with the energy transition is you eventually run out of other people's money.
Speaker: Here's a list of a few things technology needs to perfect before we start fucking with the sun.
Speaker: from my previous topic, the ring doorbell.
Speaker: Amazon getting packages delivered within the very expensive prime parameters.
Speaker: Electric cars.
Speaker: Oh, I don't know.
Speaker: Curing cancer, diabetes, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, ALS, multiple sclerosis, cerebral palsy, the common cold, and symptoms of the COVID vaccine.
Speaker: Also, CAPTCHA.
Speaker: And Bluetooth pairing.
Speaker: And self-checkout at the grocery stores.
Speaker: This is pure idiocy.
Speaker: Does this sound like something any reasonable human over age five has ever said?
Speaker: Man, it's so hot.
Speaker: I wish someone would block the sun and cool the whole earth.
Speaker: This is evil and controlling and being reckless with other people's money for the sake of being evil and controlling and spending other people's money.
Speaker: Oh, and by the way, do you really think President Coloring Book, this barely functioning idiot who can't walk up a flight of steps or stop a pedal bike without falling, is pumped about blocking the sun?
Speaker: It's his passion, like he's a visionary?
Speaker: No, Biden is more like, I like turtles.
Speaker: Eat shit, amateurs.
Speaker: We're done placating you.
Speaker: You're all morons.
Speaker: Time for a la carte.
Speaker: Let's take some nibbles.
Speaker: So, for Amateur Nation and their corresponding mainstream media, Netflix's child exploitation movie Cuties, Empowering.
Speaker: The true story in Sound of Freedom, Paranoia.
Speaker: Please tell me you agree with those statements so I can delete you from my life forever.
Speaker: So I guess the movie Taken was okay.
Speaker: Recently, President Coloring Book, in response to questions from the press regarding his child-denying, drug-addicted whore-using, cheating, lying, fraud, and treason-committing scumbag of his son, Hunter, replied, hands off my family.
Speaker: Now you know how American parents feel.
Speaker: The only thing left for Hunter is what?
Speaker: Rape?
Speaker: Murder?
Speaker: And speaking of the Biden crime family, if, as President Coloring Book says, our nation's children are all our children, then that would mean Hunter Biden is my child.
Speaker: And I demand Hunter report to my house for serious punishment.
Speaker: Hashtag spanking.
Speaker: Hashtag grounded.
Speaker: Hashtag go to your room.
Speaker: Hashtag no more allowance.
Speaker: Hashtag my foot's gonna be so far up your it's gonna dangle that your nose.
Speaker: Four words that make true comedians insane.
Speaker: That joke offends me.
Speaker: Do you not understand that making fun of terrible things is a stress relief?
Speaker: It doesn't mean you don't care or, even more stupidly, hate a subject matter.
Speaker: Ever tease a loved one?
Speaker: Tease a friend?
Speaker: A significant other?
Speaker: I guess you hate them.
Speaker: When it comes to being offended by comedy and or censoring comedy, if you laughed at something five years ago, you should be laughing at the same thing now.
Speaker: You don't change your sense of humor to bend to woke slash commie pressure.
Speaker: Why aren't we privatizing prisons?
Speaker: Why not have private businesses operate prisons within federal guidelines and of course while respecting human rights?
Speaker: If there ever was a chance to use controlling, tracking, tracing and monitoring electronics and AI, it's keeping violent criminals in check.
Speaker: No, instead, let's use it on law-abiding citizens.
Speaker: I mean, why not build new prisons instead of overcrowding current prisons?
Speaker: And instead of letting criminals out early or not prosecuting criminals because of overcrowding, we could actually arrest and imprison people for breaking the law and keep them there for their full sentences.
Speaker: Hell, the new privately run prisons would probably be run better than federal prisons because as we know, the federal government could fuck up a cup of coffee.
Speaker: Added bonus, the jobs, building and running them that are created.
Speaker: What do I know?
Speaker: I'm just a citizen with common sense.
Speaker: Ironically named MSNBC host Joy Reid said she got into Harvard because of affirmative action.
Speaker: Thanks for making pro-nation's point, amateur.
Speaker: That's a damn stupid thing to do.
Speaker: And speaking of college, here's a headline that should make hardworking, intelligent high school kids pissed.
Speaker: Teen accepted to Stanford after writing hashtag Black Lives Matter 100 times on application.
Speaker: Oh, he got in just under the wire.
Speaker: April 5th.
Speaker: Well, he's an asshole, that's what.
Speaker: So what?
Speaker: It's his age.
Speaker: I was at the grocery store and when I was returning my cart to the cart corral in the parking lot I know amateurs, what's a cart corral?
Speaker: A sign above it read, Did you use reusable bags?
Speaker: Sustainability.
Speaker: It takes all of us.
Speaker: All of us, huh?
Speaker: Then why is it the middle class are doing all the heavy lifting?
Speaker: Tell you what, when I see John Kerry and Greta Thunberg packing their own groceries into recyclable bags, then they can take it out and measure it.
Speaker: Until then, I don't want to hear it.
Speaker: The state of Michigan passed a bill making calling someone the wrong pronoun a felony with fines up to $10,000 and imprisonment up to five years.
Speaker: It's a twofer, as if I needed another reason to avoid Michigan, and now we in Pronasia can just flat out ignore all pronoun users altogether.
Speaker: Problem solved.
Speaker: Here he comes, Mr. Netherlands.
Speaker: The Netherlands crowned their first openly trans pageant contestant.
Speaker: So you're telling me the entire roster of biological, real, hot, beautiful, talented women were not as impressive as women as this man?
Speaker: I got no more use for this guy.
Speaker: Women just keep getting more and more empowered.
Speaker: Disgraceful eating while on camera common New York Mayor Bill de Blasio has revealed that his wife will sleep with other men while they still live together.
Speaker: What could possibly go wrong?
Speaker: See Will Smith.
Speaker: Quit acting like a little bitch.
Speaker: Now time for three pro things.
Speaker: Three things that are done right.
Speaker: Number one.
Speaker: Well, they might have no electricity and drive horses and buggies, but the Amish just might be on to something when it comes to vaccines and side effects and being healthy.
Speaker: Listen to tech entrepreneur Steve Kirsch in this testimony before the Pennsylvania State Senate, where he mentioned that the Amish population had a COVID death rate that was 90 times lower than the rest of America.
Speaker: Oh, but wait, there's more.
Speaker: How many children or people are totally unvaccinated?
Speaker: Is it just the parents that stepped up and said, I think that's a very small percentage because so many of us blindly followed the recommendations to vaccinate children.
Speaker: Yeah, it's less than 1% of the public.
Speaker: So the Amish are a perfect example of a large group of people who are largely unvaccinated.
Speaker: And there's no, we can't find an autistic kid who was unvaccinated.
Speaker: It's very, very rare in the Amish community.
Speaker: Very, very rare.
Speaker: You won't find kids with ADD, with autoimmune disease, with Panda Pans, with epilepsy.
Speaker: You just don't find any of these chronic diseases in the Amish.
Speaker: And you know, the U.S. government has been studying the Amish for decades.
Speaker: But there's never been a report.
Speaker: Number two.
Speaker: You know, you can't win the racism game with Amateur Nation.
Speaker: To them, all roads lead to racism.
Speaker: This post from Bob DeGraff and the Comical Conservative Facebook group.
Speaker: He says, once you hate someone, everything they do is offensive.
Speaker: Look at this bitch eating those crackers like she owns the place.
Speaker: And then he has a little chart.
Speaker: It's like a flow chart, rather.
Speaker: And it says across the top, if a white person.
Speaker: Okay?
Speaker: Across the top, if a white person.
Speaker: If a white person moves out of a neighborhood, that is called white flight, which is racism.
Speaker: If a white person moves into a neighborhood, that's called gentrification, which is racism.
Speaker: If a white person sees color, directly to racism.
Speaker: If a white person doesn't see color, well then you're ignoring racism, and that's racism.
Speaker: If a white person doesn't partake in their culture, that is non-inclusive, which is racism.
Speaker: If a white person does engage in black culture, that's cultural appropriation, which is racism.
Speaker: Brilliant.
Speaker: I recommend that if you're on Facebook, follow that group, Comical Conservative.
Speaker: I post stuff up on there all the time.
Speaker: And number three.
Speaker: And in light of pro thing number two and the message it gives in that amateurs cannot be pleased or placated, it's been a while and every week I get more listeners and subscribers, of course.
Speaker: So to remind the pros who listen often or regularly and to enlighten the newbies to the show, a list from my book, The 30 Truths About Amateurs.
Speaker: Number one, amateurs seek constant attention.
Speaker: Number two, amateurs want to be left alone.
Speaker: Number three, amateurs want recognition and praise for doing anything and everything.
Speaker: Already you can't win, right?
Speaker: I know you know someone or run into people like this in your everyday life.
Speaker: Number four, amateurs want what they want, how they want it, and when they want it.
Speaker: Number five, amateurs want it now.
Speaker: Number six, amateurs are fragile and easily offended.
Speaker: Number seven, amateurs accuse first and ask no questions later.
Speaker: See pro thing number two.
Speaker: Number eight, amateurs never apologize.
Speaker: Number nine, amateurs have a right to fill in the blank.
Speaker: Number 10, amateurs hate to suffer alone.
Speaker: Number 11, amateurs think no one is special and everyone should be treated equally at all times regardless of circumstance.
Speaker: Number 12, amateurs are special.
Speaker: Number 13, amateurs reserve the right to make a scene if you don't understand this list about them.
Speaker: Number 14, amateurs believe social media is truth and the real world.
Speaker: Number 15, amateurs are afraid to be.
Speaker: Number 16, amateurs cannot be alone.
Speaker: Number 17, amateurs hate work.
Speaker: 18, amateurs hate to compete.
Speaker: 19, amateurs practice autolatry daily.
Speaker: Autolatry, A-U-T-O-L-A-T-R-Y, the worship of oneself.
Speaker: I mean, how many times in a day, if you're on social media, do you see the word self-care?
Speaker: Number 20, amateurs hate privacy, and they surrender it very easily.
Speaker: Number 21, amateurs will always try to abuse the system.
Speaker: Number 22, amateurs need constant support, reassurance, and praise.
Speaker: Sound familiar?
Speaker: Pride Month.
Speaker: Number 23, amateurs are loud.
Speaker: Sound familiar?
Speaker: Pride Month.
Speaker: Number 24, amateurs are depressed.
Speaker: Number 25, amateurs are lonely.
Speaker: Number 26, amateurs peaked long ago.
Speaker: Number 27, amateurs are bored.
Speaker: Number 28, amateurs are unfulfilled.
Speaker: Number 28, amateurs are unfulfilled.
Speaker: Number 29, amateurs must get recognition for doing things or else they never happened.
Speaker: And number 30, amateurs need followers to live.
Speaker: So follow me on social media.
Speaker: My email is lou at lou santini dot com.
Speaker: Copy the link from whatever platform you listen to and paste it to someone who needs to hear this show.
Speaker: Take 15 seconds or less to post a review of this show, please.
Speaker: And take 30 minutes to laugh hard and check out my dry bar comedy special, Amateur Nation, drybar comedy dot com slash L-O-U-S.
Speaker: You can see all my social media is at my main site, lou santini dot com.
Speaker: Give me something I can use.
Speaker: You get a free no amateurs tee.
Speaker: Amateur Nation is not just a podcast.
Speaker: It's a movement.
Speaker: Remember, amateurs, we see you.
Speaker: You're not at home.
Speaker: Don't do life wrong, GoPro.
Speaker: Don't be an amateur.
Speaker: For Amateur Nation, I'm Lou Santini, and this has been a big, major production.
