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“This Episode Has Zero Emissions! Happy, Amateurs?
78 Plays2 years ago
*THIS WEEK:*
- The dumbest idea President Coloring Book has NEVER had.
- “Two traitors walk into a commercial…”
- What was I JUST saying about keeping millennials out of customer service?
- “This Week in Corporate Tyranny”!
- The New “Ben & Jerry’s” ice cream flavors are out!
*On “A la Carte”:* The mayor of New York learned nothing from Will Smith, the latest from The Biden Crime Family, and “Here he comes/Mister Netherlands”!
*On “3 Pro Things”:* The Amish might be on to something, you can’t win “The Racism Game” with amateurs, and from my book, “The 30 Truths About Amateurs”.
*DRYBAR COMEDY SPECIAL: “Amateur Nation*”: https://www.drybarcomedy.com/lous*
*MAIN: https://www.lousantini.com/*
*SUBSCRIBE* on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOh5fIZVQdT0VG2M59S0Vwg*
*Facebook:* https://facebook.com/lousantinientertainment
*Instagram:* https://www.instagram.com/lou.santini3/
*Truth Social:* https://truthsocial.com/@lousantini3
*LinkedIn:* https://www.linkedin.com/in/lousantini/
*GETTR:* https://gettr.com/user/lousantini
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Transcript
Introduction and Symbolism of the Honor and Remember Flag
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The Honor and Remember Flag is a nationally recognized symbol that sends a message of appreciation for the sacrifice made by our fallen heroes and their families.
00:00:10
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The flag flies at many NASCAR races around the country, and you can help honor our nation's fallen military members and remember the eternal sacrifice of their service by flying the flag too.
00:00:22
Speaker
Text FLAG to 71777 or visit honorandremember.org to learn more.
00:00:30
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Together, we remember them all.
Evolution of Human Behavior: Entitlement and Attention-Seeking
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There's been an odd shift in human behavior over the last 15 plus years.
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A sense of entitlement.
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A constant need for attention.
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Ironically coupled with the need to be left alone.
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A desire to be treated the same as everyone else.
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Stupidly combined with the mindset of, I'm special, so treat me accordingly.
Amateur Nation: An Introduction to Decline in Manners and Skills
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Introducing the book, Amateur Nation.
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The Decline of Common Sense Manners and Social Skills.
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The second edition.
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Inside, you'll read the amateur mission statement.
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The 30 Truths About Amateurs.
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The Four Stages of Being an Amateur.
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Amateur Habitats and History.
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Social Media Plus Me, Me, Me Equals Amateur.
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Technology and Amateur Behavior.
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With dozens of real funny photos, weird signs, and laugh-out-loud real-life accounts and actual conversations vividly showing how us pros are surrounded by Amateur Nation every day.
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Download the expanded second edition of the e-book, Amateur Nation, The Decline of Common Sense Manners and Social Skills.
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The second expanded edition, available now.
00:01:29
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Be a pro.
00:01:30
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Go to Amazon.
00:01:31
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Type Amateur Nation.
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Warning.
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The podcast you are about to hear is often based on true events and people.
00:01:48
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It chronicles the dialogue and actions of random, anonymous, obnoxious, self-entitled, unintelligent, self-centered idiots.
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Attention whores, ignoramuses, dolts, clods, nimrods, douches, weirdos, drama queens, overly sensitive crybabies, and people who think they are better, more important, and special than the rest of us.
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In one word, amateurs.
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Amateurs.
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It's Amateur Nation with Lou Santini.
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He's the greatest American hero ever born.
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Hey, I'm not arguing.
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We call attention to and call out the amateurs.
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The people who are doing life wrong.
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The speed bumps of life.
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The people that are in your way every day.
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The unintelligent, obnoxious, attention-horning, self-entitled, drama queen, victim types...
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who chip away at the moments of your life due to no self-awareness, common sense, manners, or social skills, and are disturbing the flow of the pros.
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Hi, Mom.
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Oh, hey, Lou.
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Amateur Nation.
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It's not just a podcast.
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It's a movement.
Engagement and Social Media: Lou's Interactions with Followers
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And this is episode 235.
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This episode has zero emissions.
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Happy amateurs?
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And as always, Pro Nation first.
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Shouts out to MassDawson1025 on Truth Social.
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R. Sean Wald, Joshua Hutt, Unusual Whales, Dr. Yolo Pepperoni, Madison Lehman, Louis the Lens, Raul Easy, Dave Benedict, and Timmerholt all following me and checking me out on Instagram.
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Follow me there at lou.santini3.
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Okay, before we get started...
Generational Differences: Humor and Critique of Millennials
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This.
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Recently, fellow comedian Nick DiPaolo posted a photo he took of 93-year-old Clint Eastwood enduring 95-degree heat to direct a movie in his neighborhood.
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He said, try getting a 20-year-old today to pick up an extra shift at work.
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Just three episodes ago, I was talking about how most millennials, most, not all, but most millennials have no business having jobs that involve interacting with actual human beings.
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Stick to your computer cubicles, you fucking automatons, and stay out of the public eye.
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Now recently, I went to Staples, one of the most depressing stores of all time, right?
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It's an office supply store.
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I don't expect it to be fun, but could it not be so miserable?
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Yeah, yeah, I can order stuff online.
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I, unlike Amateur Nation, am still trying to keep brick-and-mortar stores in business, and I needed ink right away.
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Not two days past Prime, which is supposed to be within two Amazon calendar days.
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Anyway, as always, five checkout lines, and this time only one cashier, except this time it wasn't in the checkout line section.
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It was over by the photo processing, passport, making copies, and buying fancy pens section.
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So I go over to the checkout line and there's no one there.
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So I look at the other counter.
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It reads, checkout.
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And there he is, a scrawny, concave-chested, oppressed millennial.
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Want to guess how many piercings and different hair colors he had going on?
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Six piercings and three different hair colors.
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So this kid is fucking miserable, right?
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If I worked in Staples, I might be drilling holes into my face for fun too.
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But I'm trying to be respectful and not prejudge, so I just said, can you check me out?
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Here's his answer, and I quote, I guess so.
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So I said, well, there's no one at the other checkout lines.
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He replies, story of my life, man.
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And I said, well, that's a terrible life and a terrible story.
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Change your story, change your life.
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Here's what's happening in Amateur Nation.
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Perhaps you had better start from the beginning.
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Step one.
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Topic number one.
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I'm not going to lie.
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I got mentally erect when I saw the subject of the first topic.
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It's a video featuring two communist billionaires who have the balls to ask you for money to help them get more money and ruin America further.
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It's called Five Reasons to Donate $5 to Joe Biden Today.
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The title alone makes you want to punch something.
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Five reasons for $5.
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That's only a dollar a reason.
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What a steal, he said on purpose.
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Here's President Coloring Book and Barack Okami asking for your donation of only $5 to their 2024 election campaign.
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What else are you going to do with that $5?
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Buy eight eggs?
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Now, before I play this, plan on saying $5.
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Are you fucking kidding me?
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At least five times.
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Warning, this commercial has a cringe factor of 10 out of 10.
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Second warning, this is going to make you mad.
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Like your intelligence is being insulted mad.
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Before I even play it, I should tell you that President Coloring Book isn't even looking in the right direction of the camera.
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I'll play it in its entirety first.
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It's only a little over a minute.
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And then I will deconstruct and demolish it.
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There's five reasons why I'm asking you to donate $5 to my campaign.
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With some help from a friend.
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Hey, Barack.
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Hey, Joe.
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Good to see you, man.
00:07:03
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Good to see you.
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Number one, our last campaign was powered by donations from grassroots supporters like you.
00:07:10
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Number two, your donations are the reason President Biden won the last election.
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And when he won, he built on our progress with the ACA.
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He passed the biggest climate bill in world history.
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And he brought our economy back from crisis.
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That's because of you.
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Number three, we've got a lot more progress to make.
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Protecting voting rights.
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Protecting Social Security and Medicare.
00:07:33
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Fighting for our fundamental freedom of love to make your own health care choices and to read certain books to your kids.
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We can't do it without you.
00:07:42
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Number four, Joe might even call you.
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Not a joke.
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Number five, we're up against the first real fundraising deadline in the campaign, and we need you with us.
00:07:54
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It really makes a difference to me, and I really appreciate it.
00:07:56
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So take it from me.
00:07:58
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And me.
00:07:58
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And go to joebiden.com to join our campaign.
00:08:03
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Okay, hopefully you didn't punch the dashboard of your car too hard or whatever was nearby in your house, but let's break it down.
00:08:08
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There's five reasons why I'm asking you to donate $5 to my campaign.
00:08:14
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Uh, between the both of yous, you can fund your own campaign without my help times a hundred.
00:08:21
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Some help a friend.
00:08:23
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Of course he needs help making this commercial.
00:08:25
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He needs help sitting.
00:08:27
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We've seen him walk stairs and ride a bike.
00:08:29
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Listen to how cool they talk to each other.
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Hey, Barack.
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Hey, Joe.
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Good to see you, man.
00:08:34
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Good to see you.
00:08:35
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Hey.
00:08:37
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Good to see you, man.
00:08:38
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That's how presidents talk to each other.
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They're just like you, streetwise amateurs.
00:08:42
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Number one, our last campaign was powered by donations from grassroots supporters like you.
00:08:49
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No, it was powered by George Soros, China, and election fraud.
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See, 2,000 mules.
00:08:55
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Also, I wish you could see this president coloring book is looking everywhere, but in the direction of the camera lens.
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Number two.
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Your donations are the reason President Biden won the last election.
00:09:09
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Did you mean for all those words to come out together or did they just fall out randomly?
00:09:14
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And when he won, he built on our progress with the ACA.
00:09:18
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He passed the biggest climate bill in world history.
00:09:21
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Well, it's easy to create the biggest anything based on a lie and fraud.
00:09:26
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And he brought our economy back from crisis.
00:09:30
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Now you're just trying to piss me off.
00:09:31
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Remember that crisis when gas was well under $2 and eggs were cheaper than crack and you got a tax refund and your IRA and 401k wasn't on the brink of being looted?
00:09:41
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Yeah, that crisis.
00:09:43
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But see, the amateurs they're pandering to are under 30 and they don't follow any of those things and or aren't affected by them.
00:09:50
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Nor are they planning for a future beyond this weekend.
00:09:53
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So it sure sounds good.
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That's because of you.
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Good job, amateurs.
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All three of you voters.
00:10:00
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Number three, we've got a lot more progress to make.
00:10:03
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Protecting voting rights.
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Doesn't it make you crazy how so many Americans don't have the right to vote?
00:10:09
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Or can't?
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Or don't have a ride?
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Or know where to vote?
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Or don't have IDs?
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Or are illegal aliens?
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You've got to protect that shit.
00:10:17
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Protecting Social Security, Medicare.
00:10:19
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Fighting for our fundamental freedom of love.
00:10:23
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As we see two men with their arms around each other.
00:10:25
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Not overly romantic, but rather two men who might be congratulating each other on a good performance in their recreational softball league.
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Kind of like, now let's go get a beer!
00:10:35
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With their backs to the camera.
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They're careful not to show two men kissing, but at least they are free to love.
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Remember when, under Trump, you weren't allowed to love whoever you wanted?
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I had so many women who were the ones that got away because the president didn't allow me to love them.
00:10:50
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Make your own healthcare choices.
00:10:54
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Except when it comes to wearing masks, going outside, operating your business, and getting an untested gene experiment that has made millions sick and or dead.
00:11:01
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Not to mention health insurance is a joke, and the medical world lacks any kind of reliability, credibility, and trust.
00:11:07
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Read certain books to your kids.
00:11:11
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Except Dr. Seuss, that scumbag.
00:11:13
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But here's a story on how to give a blow job and how to try anal.
00:11:16
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Enjoy, Timmy.
00:11:18
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We can't do it without you.
00:11:20
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They can and will.
00:11:23
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Number four, Joe might even call you.
00:11:27
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A. Joe hasn't used a phone since they were the kind that had the earpiece that you held up to your ear and you spoke into the box hanging on the wall.
00:11:35
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B. Please, God, please let Joe Biden call me.
00:11:39
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I'm half tempted to send $5 just to beg him to call me.
00:11:43
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It would be the greatest call I've ever taken.
00:11:45
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I'd play it out of loop on this show and make it the cornerstone of every episode.
00:11:51
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C. President Coloring Book is so feeble, he could call you and you could reply, Joe, is your refrigerator running?
00:11:58
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And he'd reply, let me go check.
00:11:59
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Followed by the sound of a phone being set down on the counter, never to be picked up again.
00:12:03
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Not a joke.
00:12:07
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That's the one thing he said that isn't funny.
00:12:10
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By the way, the shot on camera is a president coloring book holding a cell phone as if he was in the middle of talking to a citizen.
00:12:18
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But isn't he supposed to be doing this commercial with Barack?
00:12:22
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Great directing.
00:12:23
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Number five, we're up against the first real fundraising deadline in the campaign.
00:12:28
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And we need you with us.
00:12:29
Speaker
It really makes a difference to me, and I really appreciate it.
00:12:32
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So take it from me.
00:12:34
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And me.
00:12:34
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And go to JoeBiden.com to join our campaign.
00:12:38
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If you donate a penny to this commie, you might as well sign over all your assets to him as well.
00:12:44
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You're that stupid.
00:12:46
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Actually, if you're an amateur and you hate my show, please donate $5 to me, and I guarantee I will call you.
00:12:53
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I'll let you say whatever you want.
00:12:54
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I'll play it on this show, and you can spout off however you like.
00:12:58
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Honest.
00:12:58
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You'll feel better since the world will hear your precious feelings and you won't have contributed to the biggest traitor in American history.
00:13:07
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And now for step two.
00:13:09
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Topic number two.
Technology Overreach: The Amazon Incident
00:13:12
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It's time for This Week in Corporate Tyranny.
00:13:15
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As I've said repeatedly on this show and in my book, I'm fine with technology as long as A, it works and does exactly what it's supposed to do, B, doesn't track, trace, and run my life, and also C, as long as when it does fail, as all technology does at some point, my world won't come crashing down.
00:13:35
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Oh yeah, one more thing.
00:13:37
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Remember how pro-nation keeps saying how technology plus social credit scores plus controlling your life equals communism, that it will happen if it continues to go unchecked?
00:13:46
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Remember how amateur nation poo-poos that notion?
00:13:50
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From the New York Post, Amazon shuts down customers' smart home devices after delivery drivers' false racism claim.
00:13:59
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Here's the article.
00:14:01
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Amazon shut off a man's smart home devices for a week after a delivery driver falsely accused the customer of hurling a racial slur via a doorbell intercom, the tech giant confirmed.
00:14:15
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Brandon Jackson, who was black, said he found himself digitally exiled by the company on May 25th, less than 24 hours after an Amazon delivery driver dropped off a package at his home and reported him for being racist.
00:14:30
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The homeowner said he was informed of the unwarranted lockout after contacting Amazon when he realized he couldn't interact with his smart home devices.
00:14:39
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Jackson said, I was told that the driver who had delivered my package reported receiving racist remarks from my ring doorbell.
00:14:47
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Spoiler alert, the man did not say anything racist.
00:14:50
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More on that in a moment, but even if he did, there's your social credit score tracking control communism in action.
00:14:57
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The article continues, Jackson, an engineer at Microsoft, was quick to point out flaws in the allegation, including that none of his family members were actually home when the package was dropped off.
00:15:09
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He then reviewed footage from the various surveillance cameras set up outside his home and confirmed no such racial slur was uttered.
00:15:16
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Jackson said, instead, the doorbell had issued an automated response.
00:15:20
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Excuse me, can I help you?
00:15:22
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The driver who was walking away and wearing headphones...
00:15:27
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You're at work.
00:15:28
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Headphones off.
00:15:30
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Must have misinterpreted the message.
00:15:32
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Yeah, I know.
00:15:33
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Excuse me, can I help you?
00:15:34
Speaker
That sounds like racial epithets.
00:15:36
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The article says, nevertheless, by the following day, my Amazon account was locked and all my Echo devices were logged out.
00:15:43
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Here's the next step.
00:15:44
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Amateurs go rush out and get an electric car, especially one of those equipped with kill switches, you know, for your safety.
00:15:51
Speaker
Wait a minute, you're being sarcastic.
00:15:54
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Remember, a common thread of communism is you don't know how to take care of yourself.
00:15:58
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The government knows what's best for you.
00:16:00
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We will handle things so you can just relax and be safe and enjoy life.
00:16:05
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Now stay inside, take these drugs, eat this processed food, turn off the lights and watch your mouth.
00:16:12
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The article says Jackson insisted he supported Amazon taking extra precautions to protect delivery drivers, but questioned why he had to be locked out of his account for a week as an internal probe was carried out.
00:16:26
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Despite promptly submitting video evidence immediately upon learning of the issue, my account remained locked.
00:16:32
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And despite numerous calls and emails, the homeowner said his account wasn't reinstated until six days later.
00:16:39
Speaker
Ah, convenience.
00:16:44
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Ice cream makers Ben & Jerry's know two things, ice cream induced obesity and now communism.
00:16:50
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Okay, three things, stupidity.
00:16:52
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Learning nothing from Target, Bud Light, Disney, Hershey's, Sephora, the list goes on
Corporate Controversy: Ben & Jerry's Land Backlash
00:16:57
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and on.
00:16:57
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They recently said on Twitter, on Independence Day no less.
00:17:02
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This 4th of July, it's high time we recognize that the U.S. exists on stolen indigenous land and commit to returning it.
00:17:09
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Okay, time out, sitting jackass.
00:17:12
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High time.
00:17:13
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I'm sure they were when they posted that.
00:17:16
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From Fox Business, this is glorious.
00:17:19
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Don Stevens, chief of the, I hope I'm saying this right, Nohegan Band of the Cusack Abenaki Nation, told the New York Post that he looks forward to any kind of correspondence with the brand to see how they can better benefit indigenous people, noting that the company's South Burlington, Vermont headquarters is on Western Abenaki land.
00:17:40
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He said, if you look at the Abenaki traditional way of being, we are place-based people.
00:17:45
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Stevens told the Post.
00:17:46
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Before recognized tribes were in that state, we were the ones who were in this place.
00:17:52
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A. Native American Indian tribes battled each other for land for centuries.
00:17:57
Speaker
I guess as long as it's the same race killing each other, it's okay.
00:18:01
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Maybe that's why black-on-black crime stats are ignored by mainstream media.
00:18:05
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B. Funny how America, its freedoms, its capitalism, never a problem until communism creeps in.
00:18:12
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C. Every country on earth was somehow eventually called what it is called because one group of people surrendered to another group.
00:18:22
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I'm not saying it's right.
00:18:23
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I'm saying what is.
00:18:25
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Can't turn back time.
00:18:27
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D. What exactly, specifically, Ben & Jerry's, is your plan for returning the land?
00:18:36
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What logistics have you mapped out?
00:18:38
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What is your step-by-step plan, ice cream makers?
00:18:43
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Where does the American population go then?
00:18:46
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Yeah, just shut the fuck up and keep cranking out ice cream flavors based on bad puns.
00:18:52
Speaker
E, you gotta love Monday morning quarterback amateurs who would do things differently if they had a say in it without any prior thought, critical thinking, and most importantly, historical research.
00:19:03
Speaker
as Al Pacino's character perfectly said in Glengarry Glen Ross.
00:19:06
Speaker
You never open your mouth till you know what the shot is.
00:19:10
Speaker
And now I would like to announce Ben & Jerry's new woke flavors.
00:19:14
Speaker
Oppression Berry.
00:19:16
Speaker
Fair warning, it's bitter.
00:19:17
Speaker
Kami Red Velvet.
00:19:19
Speaker
Plant-based vegan chocolate snowflake swirl.
00:19:22
Speaker
Well, that sounds about as appetizing as a big plate of dirt or something.
00:19:28
Speaker
Virtue Signaling Vanilla.
00:19:31
Speaker
Transgender Pistachio with no nuts.
00:19:34
Speaker
Social Credit Score S'mores.
00:19:37
Speaker
And of course, Communist Crunch.
00:19:41
Speaker
Every Thursday is Sneak Peek Thursday on all my social medias.
00:19:44
Speaker
YouTube, at Lou Santini.
00:19:46
Speaker
Facebook, at Lou Santini Entertainment.
00:19:49
Speaker
Instagram, at Lou.Santini3.
00:19:52
Speaker
And Truth Social, at Lou Santini3.
00:19:54
Speaker
The dumbest idea Mr. Burns, I mean President, coloring book has never had on topic number three, next.
00:20:03
Speaker
Hi, pros.
00:20:03
Speaker
Lou Santini here, host of Amateur Nation.
00:20:06
Speaker
My Dry Bar Comedy Special, Amateur Nation, is now available.
00:20:10
Speaker
And just like this show, if you're allergic to a lack of common sense in today's world, and you like your comedy delivered with uncompromising talent like it is bite, then check out my half-hour comedy special, Amateur Nation.
00:20:22
Speaker
Go to drybarcomedy.com slash Lou S. This is my way of saying thank you to the pros who listen to this show every week.
00:20:30
Speaker
DrybarComedy.com slash Lou S. Amateur Nation is not just a podcast, it's a movement.
00:20:37
Speaker
The honor and remember flag is a nationally recognized symbol that sends a message of appreciation for the sacrifice made by our fallen heroes and their families.
00:20:47
Speaker
The flag flies at many NASCAR races around the country, and you can help honor our nation's fallen military members and remember the eternal sacrifice of their service by flying the flag too.
00:20:59
Speaker
Text FLAG to 71777 or visit honorandremember.org to learn more.
00:21:02
Speaker
Together, we remember them all.
00:21:14
Speaker
All right, now step three.
00:21:16
Speaker
Topic number three.
00:21:17
Speaker
Hit me!
00:21:21
Speaker
I googled benefits of the sun.
00:21:25
Speaker
Just six quick ones.
00:21:27
Speaker
Sunlight kills bacteria.
00:21:29
Speaker
Sunlight may reduce high blood pressure.
00:21:32
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Sunlight can regulate the immune system.
00:21:35
Speaker
Sunlight strengthens bones.
00:21:37
Speaker
Sunlight can improve sleep quality.
00:21:40
Speaker
Sunlight boosts mood.
00:21:43
Speaker
President coloring books administration?
00:21:45
Speaker
Stupid sun, it's making the earth hot.
00:21:48
Speaker
We expect more from a ball of fire that's been around since just before Biden was born.
00:21:54
Speaker
Notice all the benefits of the sun are things amateur nation didn't want during the pandemic shutdowns.
00:22:01
Speaker
We can't have Americans walking around healthy, vital, and positive.
00:22:04
Speaker
Keep them indoors, drugged, fat, and reliant on electricity.
00:22:08
Speaker
If you don't see that by now, you really got to consider trying again in the next life as soon as possible.
00:22:14
Speaker
I'd like to use different websites and sources whenever I can on this show.
00:22:18
Speaker
From Cowboy State Daily.
00:22:21
Speaker
Here's your headline.
00:22:22
Speaker
And I love how even the headline has sarcasm in it.
Climate Solutions Controversy: Sun-Blocking Proposal
00:22:25
Speaker
You ready?
00:22:26
Speaker
Now Biden once studied to block the sun to fight global warming.
00:22:30
Speaker
Oh, hang on a second.
00:22:31
Speaker
I thought it was changed to climate change.
00:22:34
Speaker
The article says the quest to save the planet from global warming has reached a fevered pitch with the White House expressing interest in studying a method of cooling the planet down by blocking the sun.
00:22:48
Speaker
The White House released a congressionally mandated report that indicates the Biden administration is supportive of the study of solar radiation modification.
00:22:58
Speaker
Sometimes referred to as geoengineering, the strategy tries to reflect more sunlight back into space in hopes of reducing the amount of its heat coming down to the lower levels of the atmosphere, thereby reducing global warming.
00:23:12
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While the White House was only signaling its support for studying the idea, David Blackman, a longtime energy analyst, writer, and author of Energy Transition Absurdities, said a lot of bad ideas on addressing climate change begin with studies.
00:23:28
Speaker
He said, a group of climate activists lobbied politicians in Congress to get them to mandate the study.
00:23:35
Speaker
The very fact that someone out there in the climate alarm community is pushing this to friendly people in Congress means this is a serious idea.
00:23:43
Speaker
And an organization based out of San Francisco called Make Sunsets isn't waiting for the federal study or any federal programs.
00:23:53
Speaker
Could this get any stupider?
00:23:54
Speaker
Of course it can.
00:23:56
Speaker
For a fee of $10, you can buy a cooling credit.
00:24:01
Speaker
And the company launches a balloon that releases one gram of reflective clouds into the stratosphere.
00:24:08
Speaker
The company says this will offset the warming effect of one ton of carbon for one year.
00:24:12
Speaker
And there are discounts for bulk orders.
00:24:17
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If you send this organization one penny and you don't send me $10 first, you're an amateur.
00:24:24
Speaker
Hey, you want to go get a beer?
00:24:25
Speaker
I can't.
00:24:26
Speaker
I spent $10 on a reflective cloud and another $5 to Biden and Barack Obama.
00:24:33
Speaker
Quoting former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, who was referring to socialism, David Blackman said the problem with the energy transition is you eventually run out of other people's money.
00:24:45
Speaker
Here's a list of a few things technology needs to perfect before we start fucking with the sun.
00:24:52
Speaker
from my previous topic, the ring doorbell.
00:24:55
Speaker
Amazon getting packages delivered within the very expensive prime parameters.
00:24:59
Speaker
Electric cars.
00:25:01
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Oh, I don't know.
00:25:01
Speaker
Curing cancer, diabetes, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, ALS, multiple sclerosis, cerebral palsy, the common cold, and symptoms of the COVID vaccine.
00:25:10
Speaker
Also, CAPTCHA.
00:25:13
Speaker
And Bluetooth pairing.
00:25:14
Speaker
And self-checkout at the grocery stores.
00:25:18
Speaker
This is pure idiocy.
00:25:21
Speaker
Does this sound like something any reasonable human over age five has ever said?
00:25:27
Speaker
Man, it's so hot.
00:25:28
Speaker
I wish someone would block the sun and cool the whole earth.
00:25:33
Speaker
This is evil and controlling and being reckless with other people's money for the sake of being evil and controlling and spending other people's money.
00:25:44
Speaker
Oh, and by the way, do you really think President Coloring Book, this barely functioning idiot who can't walk up a flight of steps or stop a pedal bike without falling, is pumped about blocking the sun?
00:25:55
Speaker
It's his passion, like he's a visionary?
00:25:58
Speaker
No, Biden is more like, I like turtles.
00:26:01
Speaker
Eat shit, amateurs.
00:26:02
Speaker
We're done placating you.
00:26:03
Speaker
You're all morons.
00:26:13
Speaker
Time for a la carte.
00:26:15
Speaker
Let's take some nibbles.
00:26:18
Speaker
So, for Amateur Nation and their corresponding mainstream media, Netflix's child exploitation movie Cuties, Empowering.
00:26:27
Speaker
The true story in Sound of Freedom, Paranoia.
00:26:31
Speaker
Please tell me you agree with those statements so I can delete you from my life forever.
00:26:35
Speaker
So I guess the movie Taken was okay.
00:26:39
Speaker
Recently, President Coloring Book, in response to questions from the press regarding his child-denying, drug-addicted whore-using, cheating, lying, fraud, and treason-committing scumbag of his son, Hunter, replied, hands off my family.
00:26:51
Speaker
Now you know how American parents feel.
00:26:54
Speaker
The only thing left for Hunter is what?
00:26:56
Speaker
Rape?
00:26:57
Speaker
Murder?
00:26:59
Speaker
And speaking of the Biden crime family, if, as President Coloring Book says, our nation's children are all our children, then that would mean Hunter Biden is my child.
00:27:10
Speaker
And I demand Hunter report to my house for serious punishment.
00:27:14
Speaker
Hashtag spanking.
00:27:15
Speaker
Hashtag grounded.
00:27:16
Speaker
Hashtag go to your room.
00:27:17
Speaker
Hashtag no more allowance.
00:27:18
Speaker
Hashtag my foot's gonna be so far up your it's gonna dangle that your nose.
00:27:26
Speaker
Four words that make true comedians insane.
00:27:28
Speaker
That joke offends me.
00:27:31
Speaker
Do you not understand that making fun of terrible things is a stress relief?
00:27:36
Speaker
It doesn't mean you don't care or, even more stupidly, hate a subject matter.
00:27:43
Speaker
Ever tease a loved one?
00:27:44
Speaker
Tease a friend?
00:27:45
Speaker
A significant other?
00:27:47
Speaker
I guess you hate them.
00:27:48
Speaker
When it comes to being offended by comedy and or censoring comedy, if you laughed at something five years ago, you should be laughing at the same thing now.
00:27:57
Speaker
You don't change your sense of humor to bend to woke slash commie pressure.
00:28:04
Speaker
Why aren't we privatizing prisons?
00:28:07
Speaker
Why not have private businesses operate prisons within federal guidelines and of course while respecting human rights?
00:28:13
Speaker
If there ever was a chance to use controlling, tracking, tracing and monitoring electronics and AI, it's keeping violent criminals in check.
00:28:22
Speaker
No, instead, let's use it on law-abiding citizens.
00:28:25
Speaker
I mean, why not build new prisons instead of overcrowding current prisons?
00:28:29
Speaker
And instead of letting criminals out early or not prosecuting criminals because of overcrowding, we could actually arrest and imprison people for breaking the law and keep them there for their full sentences.
00:28:40
Speaker
Hell, the new privately run prisons would probably be run better than federal prisons because as we know, the federal government could fuck up a cup of coffee.
00:28:48
Speaker
Added bonus, the jobs, building and running them that are created.
00:28:53
Speaker
What do I know?
00:28:54
Speaker
I'm just a citizen with common sense.
00:28:58
Speaker
Ironically named MSNBC host Joy Reid said she got into Harvard because of affirmative action.
00:29:04
Speaker
Thanks for making pro-nation's point, amateur.
00:29:06
Speaker
That's a damn stupid thing to do.
00:29:09
Speaker
And speaking of college, here's a headline that should make hardworking, intelligent high school kids pissed.
00:29:14
Speaker
Teen accepted to Stanford after writing hashtag Black Lives Matter 100 times on application.
00:29:20
Speaker
Oh, he got in just under the wire.
00:29:23
Speaker
April 5th.
00:29:24
Speaker
Well, he's an asshole, that's what.
00:29:26
Speaker
So what?
00:29:26
Speaker
It's his age.
00:29:27
Speaker
I was at the grocery store and when I was returning my cart to the cart corral in the parking lot I know amateurs, what's a cart corral?
00:29:34
Speaker
A sign above it read, Did you use reusable bags?
00:29:38
Speaker
Sustainability.
00:29:39
Speaker
It takes all of us.
00:29:41
Speaker
All of us, huh?
00:29:42
Speaker
Then why is it the middle class are doing all the heavy lifting?
00:29:45
Speaker
Tell you what, when I see John Kerry and Greta Thunberg packing their own groceries into recyclable bags, then they can take it out and measure it.
00:29:52
Speaker
Until then, I don't want to hear it.
00:29:56
Speaker
The state of Michigan passed a bill making calling someone the wrong pronoun a felony with fines up to $10,000 and imprisonment up to five years.
00:30:05
Speaker
It's a twofer, as if I needed another reason to avoid Michigan, and now we in Pronasia can just flat out ignore all pronoun users altogether.
00:30:13
Speaker
Problem solved.
00:30:15
Speaker
Here he comes, Mr. Netherlands.
00:30:21
Speaker
The Netherlands crowned their first openly trans pageant contestant.
00:30:24
Speaker
So you're telling me the entire roster of biological, real, hot, beautiful, talented women were not as impressive as women as this man?
00:30:33
Speaker
I got no more use for this guy.
00:30:34
Speaker
Women just keep getting more and more empowered.
00:30:38
Speaker
Disgraceful eating while on camera common New York Mayor Bill de Blasio has revealed that his wife will sleep with other men while they still live together.
00:30:46
Speaker
What could possibly go wrong?
00:30:48
Speaker
See Will Smith.
00:30:49
Speaker
Quit acting like a little bitch.
00:30:52
Speaker
Now time for three pro things.
00:30:54
Speaker
Three things that are done right.
00:30:56
Speaker
Number one.
00:30:59
Speaker
Well, they might have no electricity and drive horses and buggies, but the Amish just might be on to something when it comes to vaccines and side effects and being healthy.
00:31:06
Speaker
Listen to tech entrepreneur Steve Kirsch in this testimony before the Pennsylvania State Senate, where he mentioned that the Amish population had a COVID death rate that was 90 times lower than the rest of America.
00:31:19
Speaker
Oh, but wait, there's more.
00:31:20
Speaker
How many children or people are totally unvaccinated?
00:31:24
Speaker
Is it just the parents that stepped up and said, I think that's a very small percentage because so many of us blindly followed the recommendations to vaccinate children.
00:31:36
Speaker
Yeah, it's less than 1% of the public.
00:31:38
Speaker
So the Amish are a perfect example of a large group of people who are largely unvaccinated.
00:31:48
Speaker
And there's no, we can't find an autistic kid who was unvaccinated.
00:31:54
Speaker
It's very, very rare in the Amish community.
00:31:57
Speaker
Very, very rare.
00:31:58
Speaker
You won't find kids with ADD, with autoimmune disease, with Panda Pans, with epilepsy.
00:32:04
Speaker
You just don't find any of these chronic diseases in the Amish.
00:32:07
Speaker
And you know, the U.S. government has been studying the Amish for decades.
00:32:12
Speaker
But there's never been a report.
00:32:14
Speaker
Number two.
00:32:39
Speaker
You know, you can't win the racism game with Amateur Nation.
00:32:42
Speaker
To them, all roads lead to racism.
00:32:44
Speaker
This post from Bob DeGraff and the Comical Conservative Facebook group.
00:32:48
Speaker
He says, once you hate someone, everything they do
Defining Amateur Behavior: 30 Truths from Lou's Book
00:32:51
Speaker
is offensive.
00:32:51
Speaker
Look at this bitch eating those crackers like she owns the place.
00:32:55
Speaker
And then he has a little chart.
00:32:57
Speaker
It's like a flow chart, rather.
00:32:59
Speaker
And it says across the top, if a white person.
00:33:03
Speaker
Okay?
00:33:03
Speaker
Across the top, if a white person.
00:33:05
Speaker
If a white person moves out of a neighborhood, that is called white flight, which is racism.
00:33:12
Speaker
If a white person moves into a neighborhood, that's called gentrification, which is racism.
00:33:19
Speaker
If a white person sees color, directly to racism.
00:33:23
Speaker
If a white person doesn't see color, well then you're ignoring racism, and that's racism.
00:33:29
Speaker
If a white person doesn't partake in their culture, that is non-inclusive, which is racism.
00:33:36
Speaker
If a white person does engage in black culture, that's cultural appropriation, which is racism.
00:33:43
Speaker
Brilliant.
00:33:45
Speaker
I recommend that if you're on Facebook, follow that group, Comical Conservative.
00:33:49
Speaker
I post stuff up on there all the time.
00:33:51
Speaker
And number three.
00:33:57
Speaker
And in light of pro thing number two and the message it gives in that amateurs cannot be pleased or placated, it's been a while and every week I get more listeners and subscribers, of course.
00:34:06
Speaker
So to remind the pros who listen often or regularly and to enlighten the newbies to the show, a list from my book, The 30 Truths About Amateurs.
00:34:18
Speaker
Number one, amateurs seek constant attention.
00:34:23
Speaker
Number two, amateurs want to be left alone.
00:34:26
Speaker
Number three, amateurs want recognition and praise for doing anything and everything.
00:34:33
Speaker
Already you can't win, right?
00:34:34
Speaker
I know you know someone or run into people like this in your everyday life.
00:34:39
Speaker
Number four, amateurs want what they want, how they want it, and when they want it.
00:34:43
Speaker
Number five, amateurs want it now.
00:34:46
Speaker
Number six, amateurs are fragile and easily offended.
00:34:50
Speaker
Number seven, amateurs accuse first and ask no questions later.
00:34:56
Speaker
See pro thing number two.
00:34:58
Speaker
Number eight, amateurs never apologize.
00:35:00
Speaker
Number nine, amateurs have a right to fill in the blank.
00:35:05
Speaker
Number 10, amateurs hate to suffer alone.
00:35:08
Speaker
Number 11, amateurs think no one is special and everyone should be treated equally at all times regardless of circumstance.
00:35:16
Speaker
Number 12, amateurs are special.
00:35:19
Speaker
Number 13, amateurs reserve the right to make a scene if you don't understand this list about them.
00:35:24
Speaker
Number 14, amateurs believe social media is truth and the real world.
00:35:32
Speaker
Number 15, amateurs are afraid to be.
00:35:37
Speaker
Number 16, amateurs cannot be alone.
00:35:40
Speaker
Number 17, amateurs hate work.
00:35:43
Speaker
18, amateurs hate to compete.
00:35:45
Speaker
19, amateurs practice autolatry daily.
00:35:49
Speaker
Autolatry, A-U-T-O-L-A-T-R-Y, the worship of oneself.
00:35:54
Speaker
I mean, how many times in a day, if you're on social media, do you see the word self-care?
00:36:00
Speaker
Number 20, amateurs hate privacy, and they surrender it very easily.
00:36:05
Speaker
Number 21, amateurs will always try to abuse the system.
00:36:10
Speaker
Number 22, amateurs need constant support, reassurance, and praise.
00:36:15
Speaker
Sound familiar?
00:36:16
Speaker
Pride Month.
00:36:18
Speaker
Number 23, amateurs are loud.
00:36:20
Speaker
Sound familiar?
00:36:22
Speaker
Pride Month.
00:36:23
Speaker
Number 24, amateurs are depressed.
00:36:26
Speaker
Number 25, amateurs are lonely.
00:36:28
Speaker
Number 26, amateurs peaked long ago.
00:36:32
Speaker
Number 27, amateurs are bored.
00:36:35
Speaker
Number 28, amateurs are unfulfilled.
00:36:37
Speaker
Number 28, amateurs are unfulfilled.
00:36:40
Speaker
Number 29, amateurs must get recognition for doing things or else they never happened.
00:36:47
Speaker
And number 30, amateurs need followers to live.
00:36:53
Speaker
So follow me on social media.
00:36:57
Speaker
My email is lou at lou santini dot com.
00:37:00
Speaker
Copy the link from whatever platform you listen to and paste it to someone who needs to hear this show.
00:37:04
Speaker
Take 15 seconds or less to post a review of this show, please.
00:37:08
Speaker
And take 30 minutes to laugh hard and check out my dry bar comedy special, Amateur Nation, drybar comedy dot com slash L-O-U-S.
00:37:16
Speaker
You can see all my social media is at my main site, lou santini dot com.
00:37:20
Speaker
Give me something I can use.
00:37:22
Speaker
You get a free no amateurs tee.
00:37:24
Speaker
Amateur Nation is not just a podcast.
00:37:26
Speaker
It's a movement.
00:37:27
Speaker
Remember, amateurs, we see you.
00:37:29
Speaker
You're not at home.
00:37:30
Speaker
Don't do life wrong, GoPro.
00:37:33
Speaker
Don't be an amateur.
00:37:35
Speaker
For Amateur Nation, I'm Lou Santini, and this has been a big, major production.