Transcript
Speaker: Only by the lessons that I have learned Just to match to a bridge it's always gonna burn And I'm lost even when I'm staring at the man My only wish now is I could take it all back And I've robbed everything from hill to Houston Only thing on my mind now is keep on shooting
Speaker: You're gonna cry now, yeah, you think you won But finally you're just an expert
Speaker: Even the burn of whiskey won't kill my brain. Then the moon gets full and the coyote cries. He's never out tripping by creating lies. You see that smoking gun in my hair? And if the body's all trapped into the desert sea.
Speaker: Something gunshots in the distance will keep on running Yeah, just keep on running And shotgun masks ring out to the end Anything in front of my gun don't have a plan And bullets fell out into the sky I'm a murder now, baby, legends never die
Speaker: Well, probably you're just an exponent in my game
Speaker: And while I'm pounding, you're just an ex, blending in my guts
Speaker: Yeah. What is going on, everybody? I can never figure that song out. I can't either. Every time I think it's going to end, I'm going to turn everything on and drop them. It's like, I was like, son of a bitch. And then when I think it's going to end again, I'm like, nah, they're not going to get me a second time. They come in high, and then it just dies. They're like, shit.
Speaker: It's like, ah, damn it. I got that little two second delay of like, we don't know what the hell we're doing. But anyways, welcome everybody to another episode of nonsensical nonsense episode 50, big five. Oh, yes. Can you believe it's already been 50? Wow. Anywho, I'm Glick as always hanging out with the, uh, I don't even know what to think about you without your beard anymore, man.
Speaker: but chef is here complaining my wife's home she's been complaining that oh your beard's prickly as if you made me shave it so shut up yeah yeah it's her fault but uh if you guys are already if you're gonna be so kind feel free to go give us a follow on social media at nonsensical nonsense on facebook instagram twitter tick tock haps youtube twitch basically everywhere
Speaker: and check out all the episodes on Spotify, Acre, Google Play, Apple Podcast, and anywhere you get your podcast jollies. So go give us a thumb in, go give us a like in, go give us a pounding.
Speaker: If you'd like to email us for whatever reason, if you want to be a guest on the show, you want to sponsor this dumpster fire, or if you just want to email us and tell us that we suck, which is probably more likely.
Speaker: Yes, which is more of the likely of the three. You suck. Yeah, we get like 400 ,000 emails. You guys suck. You guys suck. Like, yeah. That why you're taking the time to email us. Yeah. See, we win. Yeah. We suck so bad that you took time out of your day to tell us that we suck. Not who really sucks in this equation. Yeah. Like I said, I can never have too many haters. No, this is very true.
Speaker: But I am excited about today. I don't know why. What are you excited about today? It's podcast day. I'm always excited on podcast day. I don't know about you, but I'm just like, I wake up in the morning, I'm just podcast day. And my wife's like, shit. I'm like, that's right. Deal with it. I generally wake up on podcast day with a sense of dread and suicidal thoughts because I know I gotta hang out with you for a couple hours.
Speaker: No, that's definitely not true at all. I do look forward to podcast days, as we've stated many times in the past. It's one of the few highlights of my week.
Speaker: Yeah, which is how losers we are. That our biggest time of the week is literally hanging out remotely on camera. You could have been doing this. You could have been doing this for years now. If the technology would have been brown back then, I think we probably would have. Oh, absolutely. There is no doubt in my mind. I am trying to
Speaker: I see that. Send this out on Snappy Chat. Oh, here we go. Get that there, that there. I finally got the start of my Halloween decoration. I have honestly, at this point, given up on decorating my house for Halloween, because at this point, if I do decorate, they're staying up for the rest of the year.
Speaker: Yeah. So I tried to get away away with that for Christmas. My wife is like, are you going to take those down? I was like, I was kind of hoping not to. And she's like, take them down. I honestly feel like my Christmas tree crate filled with decoration. I think last year, my or I should say this year, Christmas by Christmas decorations were up until like March.
Speaker: New Year's I'm like let's get this fucking tree out of here the tree I don't you know I it's a bitch to set up as a bitch to take down But the lights and shit that I put on that outside house I mean last year. I draped them over the car to the Outline of the car so look really cool, but
Speaker: The fact that cars still hasn't moved since then still is kind of depressing. Well, there's that. Yeah. Like I said, I just, I just been honestly just too lazy to take it down. I mean, plus, well, yeah, it's, it's got to get off the ladder and, and, and, well, I don't like, I mean, I just lived in an apartment. All I literally all I had to do is take my lights and one of them is off the tree and then fold the tree up. So I'm actually, I'm actually dreading putting up the tree because I fucking hate it.
Speaker: And as I've stated, Mexico has the biggest cockroach problem ever, so I'm afraid to open up the box. Now, is it actual cockroaches or is it more like the palmetto bugs, like the big ones? No, no, these are giant cockroaches. They'll steal your teeth. Like American cockroaches and stuff. Yeah, we had those really bad down in Charleston. Yeah, and it's, you know,
Speaker: that is
Speaker: because they were going to a house with 14 maids and you'll see a fucker going across the floor going, yeah, you too? Yeah. Yeah. We, yeah, we had, like I said, we had them down in Charleston and they called them palmetto books down there or, but, uh, you know, the crazy thing about it is yeah, they'll come in the house, but when they come in the house, they realize, oh shit, I don't want to fucking be in here. And then they're doing everything they can to get the hell out of Dodge. Well, the ones here, the ones here are fucking, they're kamikazes. They will, they will.
Speaker: uh kamikaze at your head now yeah for me i'm just like yeah whatever fuck off you know but my wife and daughter are deadly deathly afraid of them so if there's a cockroach with within a you know a 10 foot radius and they see it you hear screams like somebody's trying to stab them
Speaker: and I'm, you know, I'll be downstairs playing a game or watching a movie and all of a sudden I hear a scream and I'm running upstairs. What's going on? They're like a cockroach. I'm like, you fucking bothered me for that shit. Kill the fucker. Grab a shoe. You know. But what are you going to do? But they tend to hide in the weirdest places, and I'm afraid they're going to be in my Christmas tree box. Yeah, you never know until you open it up. Tell your wife and daughter stop being a pussy.
Speaker: It's really weird. My daughter, like, if she sees a cockroach, like, when it's time for bed, she had, uh, she had, there was one in the bedroom the other day. And, uh, it was on the wall. Not bothering anybody, just standing up in the corner, probably sleeping or some shit. And she's crying, crying, like, like somebody had beaten the shit out of her. And she wasn't screaming, and my wife and I are in here lying in bed.
Speaker: And she's like, why is your daughter crying? I said, I don't know. I'm going to go over and find out. I walked over the bedroom. I'm like, why are you crying? And she just stared there, stared, stared at me. I said, why are you crying? Why are you crying? Why are you crying? For like 10 minutes. And finally, she points up the corner. I said, really? Really? Oh my god.
Speaker: It was like the girls a couple of weeks ago when they were supposed to be cleaning their room and they were coming up with 900 excuses not to. At one point they both came running out of the bedroom screaming like idiots. I was like, why the fuck is your problem?
Speaker: And they're like, there's a spider in the room and we're not going back in there while he's in there. And I'm like, really? So I walked in there and it's just this little tiny black spider up in the corner. And I grabbed the vacuum and just turned it and just sucked him off the wall. I was like, it was that easy. I don't know. You guys never freak out about bugs. These are the same kids that.
Speaker: Used to catch bugs down in Charleston and feed them to our spider that lived on the back gate. We had one of them giant banana spiders down there and If you've never seen one there they're about twice the size of a Volkswagen bug Yeah, they're literally the size of your fist. It's it's the first time I saw one. I was like, what the fuck is that?
Speaker: Well, the one that was on our back fence got really big, but like I said, the kids were catching bugs and throwing it into his web. Then it got to a point where you got so big that they were catching, because we had tree frogs everywhere down there. They were throwing tree frogs in there and then it was eating tree frogs and little geckos or salamanders or whatever. I'm like, yeah, pretty much. This is what I was afraid of. I was like, this son of a bitch keeps growing. He's going to start eating. He's going to go next door and eat the dog.
Speaker: Honey, as long as as long as he remembers who fed him with that, he schooled with us because at the end of the day, I'm still the orca man and I got many, many weapons at my disposal. Well, the first time my my wife took me to Mexico City, we came back to our little shit hole apartment in the middle of nowhere. And there was this giant banana spider on the wall. And I was like, what the fuck is that? And she's like, it's it's a spider. I'm like, no.
Speaker: that's a person. There's a guy in our house. And I literally dressed as a spider. That's a guy with eight legs. That's fucking spider. So you know, I grabbed the broom and I killed it. But when we moved into this house about maybe six months after we had been here, there was one walking across the yard. And I was like, holy shit. The thing's the size of my dog.
Speaker: They get pretty damn big. And it's crazy because they are incredibly scary looking. Like they are super scary looking. Yeah, they're docile as fuck. They can care less if you're there or not, but fuck them. They're creepy looking. Well, I would, the one that was on our back fence, I let him live there for a while, but her or her, whatever it was.
Speaker: And I would go out there every once in a while and chop its web down to the corner and get started talking to. Look, you can live out here free, but stay in your corner. You're not expanding.
Speaker: But you got a nice web, you got a good place to live, you got a banana tree right beside you, the kids bringing you food every day. You don't, you don't even got to work for your food. You're a little happy ass over there. Yeah. Stop trying to turn my entire backyard into a giant web. So every time I try to cut the grass. Bugs don't bother me, bugs don't bother me, but those things, like, I'm literally the size of my fist and I'm like, that's not cool. That, you know, no, no, no, no. That little fucker's going to kill me in the middle of the night. I've seen a ractaphobia, a ractophobia. I'm not one.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm not clearly bugs. Yeah, clearly bugs don't bother me one bit at all. So, that would be that would be kind of a downside to being a bug guy. Every time you walk in somebody's house, you're right out there like, what the **** is wrong with this guy? You got bugs in your house. Yeah, you're going to wait. I mean, I mean, it's why we called you. You better call somebody else.
Speaker: I'll tell you what, speaking of speaking to me in a book guys so late I found this new podcast that I've been listening to. It's called scared to death. It's called scared to death podcast. And it's a it's a ghost podcast paranormal thing or whatever. Today. Today I was listening to it at work. And of course today of all days I'm in like,
Speaker: a couple of these older houses that have these big ass creepy addicts. I've listened to this podcast just like, you know, at any moment, I expect like a ghost or something to just grab me because that'd be my luck. Or when I'm walking down in the basement or something like that. The last time I was out, I'm listening to it and the lady says, oh, be careful, like the second and fourth stare, the carpet solution. I was like, great, that's going to be my life. The miserable thing going on here as I'm listening to this horror podcast.
Speaker: I started watching uh uh I I I did mention it to you. I did start watching the the Halloween series. I've been wanting that blew that blew my mind out of all the movies you've watched. You've never seen this is the original Halloween that came out in the 70s, right?
Speaker: With like, yeah, it's a 76. So Jamie Lee Curtis is like maybe 20. Yeah. Oh, like I said, she dresses like shit. This year. Well, like I said, you can watch like the first three and then skip four and five because they have nothing at all.
Speaker: to do with the movie itself and that's just where they introduced Daniel Harris and she's like his knees and it's so far off off the series and off the movie it's like what in the actual fuck happened here my wife loves the Chucky series and I just find it hilarious and she's like let's watch Chucky I was like you know what I don't fuck that movie
Speaker: It's not my middle daughter loves Chuckie. There's a new there's a new Chuckie television show television series on on sci -fi. We had to watch it, but we'll watch it at some point. But she said the latest in the latest Chuckie movie, it's Halloween because I have a staple that I do every year for certain holidays. Valentine's Day, I watch Love Actually. I know that's kind of gay and stupid, but I like that movie.
Speaker: Uh, Halloween, I watched, in October, I have to watch Hocus Pocus at least once, and Christmas, I have to watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, because it's hilarious. And the other day, you know, my daughter was at Grandma's, and it was just me, my wife, and my son, and I was like, let's watch Hocus Pocus. It's October, damn it. So we watched Hocus Pocus, and she said, go downstairs, please. So.
Speaker: So, uh, last night she's like, let's watch a horror movie. It's October. We watch Hocus Pocus. Damn it. I said fine. I said, well, we're not gonna watch fucking Chucky because that movie just, I'll just laugh throughout the whole thing. So I said, let's watch Halloween. I haven't seen it. Chris is raved about the new one coming out. I said, the new one was really good. We actually, man, the kids watched it last night. So good. So good. Just crazy.
Speaker: The first one, you know, I'm watching a Halloween and I'm like, wow, this is really bad. I just said that Hocus Pocus is understandable. I love it. I love that.
Speaker: Well, I mean, the kids have watched Hocus Pocus this year, but I gave you a good scary movie series to watch for, for, for, because for Halloween, typically, uh, from October 1st, October 31st, I watch a scary movie every night with, with the kids are here. We usually watch one too. Um, but we don't watch, we don't watch that sissy ass Hocus Pocus bullshit. Hey Joe, we, we, we watch.
Speaker: You know, I grew up watching Freddie and Jason and Michael Myers and Texas Chainsaw Massacre. So they've all grown up watching those. Those are the classics. Um, but then as over the, over time, I've discovered other movies like the Victor Crowley or hatchet series, which is really good. And it's a newer movie.
Speaker: No, it's just called, it's just called hatchet. The first, the first three, I think there's three hatchet movies. And then the last one is called Victor Crowley, which Victor Crowley is like the main character or scary bad guy, but Kane Hodder's in the movies who played Jason, I think. And I think he's played Leatherface and stuff like that. But, um,
Speaker: And then Danielle Harris is in it and a bunch of other horror people and stuff like that, you know, quote unquote icons are people that have been in screenqueens. Yeah. Yeah. They made a career. I'm not just the screenqueens, but people who have made a career out of horror movies. Well, oddly enough, it's like nobody I've nobody in my family has ever been like a horror horror movie person. I mean, we we literally my dad would watch watch very few things, but he loved MASH.
Speaker: So it was like, he'd watch a funny movie or something like that. My mom is not a TV person at all. She'd rather read a book and I'm like, yeah, you're weird. One of my sisters, they didn't watch horror movies.
Speaker: No, I've I've always watched horror movies. The kids have always really enjoyed them. So that's kind of become our October thing where we just we watch we watch scary movies together and stuff every night before bed. But I'm literally here yelling at my daughter to go away. So I love him and you know, we didn't finish Halloween because my wife fell asleep and because it was like one thirty in the morning.
Speaker: And, and I was, I was like, well, I was sitting there getting tired and I was like, ah, fuck it. I'm going to turn it off. I went to bed too. So we haven't finished it. But like, it's literally just a dude standing around most of the time. And he's just like, he's like, what the fuck? He's a killer, man.
Speaker: Yeah. Well, the one thing my wife is like, so what's the story with this guy? I don't know. I've never seen it. I said, you want to ask somebody, ask Chris. There's a phone. He'll tell you. I said, I don't know. But I said, I'm sure they're going to explain it in this movie. And they never really did. He just said the doctor's like been treating him since he's six and he's I did the math. He's like 21. It's the first movie.
Speaker: But what's funny is he's been in an institution since he's six years old, yet he can drive a car. You see, that's the problem. You overthink it. You think too much. I was like, how can he drive a car so well? My wife's like, really? That's the hill you're going to die on? I was like, yeah, he's been in an institution since he's six, but he can drive a car as good as I can. What the fuck? We don't think that they didn't teach him how to drive at the institution.
Speaker: It's a mental. It doesn't matter. He's the boogeyman. He's he's it's Halloween. Like, that's like, you know, that's the whole thing behind Michael Myers is he's the boogeyman. And he killed his sister on Halloween night when he was like six years old. He got institutionalized and Dr. Lewis is a doctor. He was like the dude had zero remorse, zero understanding of right and wrong or justice or anything. I got him. That's fucked up.
Speaker: Yeah. Dr. Loomis is a piece of shit in all honesty. Pretty much. Well, it's not even that. I mean, it's just, if you, if you dive into the series, you find out that he was a real piece of shit and he just kind of hold the whole reason for the whole, the whole situation at the, you know, with the return and him killing everyone and everything. Yeah. Dr. Loomis was a scumbag. He was a real bad guy. I just thought he was like a real,
Speaker: shit at his job because I you know they don't really go into depth in in the movie that I've gotten to he just killed the the the couple that was forkin yeah in the friends in the house that the friend is babysitting at they go there to fuck I was like what are you doing you got a van
Speaker: Yeah. At the end of the day, it basically became, it was more Dr. Loomis' obsession more than his. So, but I mean, it's a great series. I mean, much like the Nightmare on the Home Street.
Speaker: And as you watch the series, as you go through all the Nightmare on Elm Street movies, you learn more and more about Freddie and why Freddie does what he does and everything. And same with Jason, you learn a little bit more in every movie. But like I said, I've seen was the Freddie versus Jason and I thought it was hilarious.
Speaker: Yeah. Like I said, like Halloween three or four, it took a hard right for no fucking reason. It was like, here's this, yeah, it was like, here's this little girl and it's the curse of Michael Myers and it's his niece and he's obsessed with her and she's autistic and she doesn't speak and everything else. And it was just like, what the fuck is going on?
Speaker: and then they revamped Halloween a couple times. They had the Halloween H20 and then they had the Halloween resurrection. That's where I get confused. I'm like, why can't they put numbers on these so I can keep up with them? Well, the Halloween H20 was like 20 years later.
Speaker: Right. And, and, and, and, and Jamie Lee Curtis was like a Dean or something at a college and her son went there and then blah, blah, blah. I think LL Cool J was in that. And then, uh, uh, and then, um, I'm just sit there laughing at all the time. Yeah.
Speaker: And then Halloween resurrection, uh, was like a reality based thing where, uh, they were going to stay in the Michael Myers house and it was all the cameras and Busta Rhymes was in it. And, uh, what's her face, the model with the big forehead. Uh, I think it was Tyra Banks was in it. Oh yeah. Like at one point Busta Rhymes gets into a legitimate fist fight with Michael Myers and he's doing like all these roundhouse kicks and shit.
Speaker: Michael Myers is like, get off of me. They're pretty much talking shit and everything else. I mean, they're good movies for what they are, but I mean, this new most recent update is with Halloween and then Halloween Kills, which is like 40 years after the original movie.
Speaker: right? Or something like that. So it's really good. And it's like Jamie Lee Curtis and then her daughter and then her granddaughter and it's really good, which is what really kind of throws everybody off because in Halloween H2O she had a son
Speaker: But either way at the end of the day still good serious still good movie to watch Like I said, I was I was it was interesting Joe said she used to watch horror movies Ever since she was 10 on Friday nights in black and white
Speaker: They'll be like those that makes me think like those like remember like they'd have those characters they'd be like you know like like the characters they'd be like like you know like elf i run and be like welcome to the friday night spook show be a guy dressed as drachia welcome to the friday night spook show yeah tonight we're going to watch the blob
Speaker: I can't do account voice, but you guys get what I'm saying on a side note. Hey, I can see myself on a side note, completely off subject, but now turn around and look on the, on the back of the T on that TV behind you. My new shirt, my new podcaster summer got me. I came from her favorite online shop. Uh, that chicks before pricks shop. I think that's what it's called.
Speaker: They were doing a live show when she was up here and the lady's husband had it on. I was like, I've got to get that shirt. It is a perfect podcast shirt. Feeling kind of, I don't give a fuckish today. That is me 90 % of the time. Pretty much. Bela Gossi. Yeah, that's what, yeah, that's Bela Gossi. Dracula. Make sure I'm on screen.
Speaker: I can't see you know, you could just ask me turn it to the to the left a little bit Better stop it right there. Perfect. Don't touch it I knew I was afraid of that Alexa. It's been raining off and on all day and well it started last night and it's just
Speaker: this is really screws up my podcast schedule dammit ah son of a bitch i can't be outside now i gotta come inside well we finally got the fall here so it's been chilly in the mornings and chilly at nights it's been fantastic yeah well that's uh that's the the new thing on tiktok is fat guy fall oh i thought it was
Speaker: Sweatpants, gray sweatpants season or something like that, whatever the hell they call it. I don't know. I don't know what the women's calls it, something like that. They're obsessed with men in gray sweatpants. I don't understand it. Yeah. I've never, I've never thought sweatpants would be quote unquote sexy. Okay.
Speaker: I was sexy before it was popular. Apparently. I've been wearing, I've been wearing gray sweatpants for years. Yeah. I do have a, a series that I'm ready to promote. Uh, what series are you watching? Well, right now I'm watching under the dome, but the, the one I want to talk about is I've watched, I finished finally.
Speaker: And it took me forever because it's it's hard. It's it's not that it's hard to watch The first two seasons are great. The third season is just wow one off the rails But designated survivor Keith, they're settling. Oh Yeah, I never watched it. Did it ever really? Piqued my interest but it had a lot of political bullshit. Well, actually actually it's the first season is less political than season three because season three is the election and
Speaker: where he gets, he actually, spoilers, he gets elected for the second term. No. Yeah. And then they canceled it. And I was like, wait, what the fuck? But the whole concept is that that Kiefer Sutherland, he's the. The housing, the HUD director, which means he's the housing department
Speaker: of the government, you know, he works for the president, blah, blah, blah. And they're like, Hey, we're going to have you as the designated survivor. And he's like, what's that? He's like, well, just, you know, when, when Congress and, and the Senate and, uh, the president and vice presidents are all in one room, we keep one person out just in case. And he's like, okay, whatever. So he's, he's sitting there watching it on TV. He's sitting there watching it on TV and all of a sudden it just goes black. And he's like, what the hell?
Speaker: and the capital blows up. Basically, you're the designated survivor because nobody likes you and you're just not cool enough. Yeah, pretty much. Well, what was weird was he was asked to resign the day before and he hadn't formally resigned yet. So he gets labeled with the
Speaker: Unfit to be president, and he wasn't supposed to you know he was never elected anyways blah blah blah blah blah But what's really interesting is they he actually? Assigns Maggie Q her character to investigate the the capital explosion and It's fucking this first season's great second season's is More business as usual
Speaker: But the third season, oh my God, it was so hard. It took me like three weeks just finished the 12 episodes of season three. Yeah, nah. I don't think I could ever. It was all about now he wants to be president. Now he's election going on. Yeah, it's like I said, I don't really care. Excuse me. I don't think I never watched it. Like I said, the first season, the first season is excellent.
Speaker: And then you basically just kind of want to find out what the hell happened. So you start watching it. But the third season, it was just like, oh my God. Son of a bitch. But I like to, like I said, I'm watching under the dome now. I just started it. That's a pretty good show. I'm curious on how it's going to end.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. That one kind of abruptly ended too, but it was, it was a pretty good show. I mean, it ended out of nowhere, but they did a good job of, um, ending it, you know, so that you weren't left. I saw, I saw like the trailer or whatever, or, or somebody did a homemade trailer on Tik TOK. And I was like, wow, that looks interesting. So, you know,
Speaker: about six months ago, I was like, I'm going to watch that one day. And today I was like, I'm going to watch that. But it was it's weird. It was a it was a pretty good show. Like I said, they did a good job of wrapping it up. Yeah. There was there was another show that I used to watch. It was called Jericho. It's an old show.
Speaker: I've, I've seen clips. Uh, listen, I don't know if you can hear it, but that's that Hayabusa. No, I didn't hear it. I don't know what the fuck this dude does for a living, but he's got a Hayabusa and a 60, a 63 Cobra replica. Hayabusa is badass. Holy shit.
Speaker: Oh, there you go. Now I heard it. Yeah, now you can hear it. He's revving it, slowly warming it up. Everything is dope as shit. But, you know, my wife and I had this huge discussion about this Cobra. She's like, do you think it's real? I said, I highly doubt that somebody that has a $160 ,000 car lives in our neighborhood, number one.
Speaker: Number two, when he arrived, he had big speakers you can buy at Walmart right now that are basically a portable giant speaker with a 15 inch subwoofer in it. He had one of those strapped to the back. He laid down a blanket and had one of those strapped to the roll bar. And then he had a dirt bike in the passenger seat that was hanging out over the trunk. And I was like, $160 ,000 car with a dirt bike in the passenger seat.
Speaker: I don't think so. Either he's an asshole, or that's a replica. But it does look cool as fuck. Even though it's silver. When it starts up, holy shit, it's got some beef to it. And it's gorgeous. As far as cobras go. The problem is,
Speaker: One of our buddies, I was talking to Brad, I said, Brad, do you think this thing's real? And he's like, well, they only made like 70 of those fucking things. So I highly doubt it. And I was like, well, there you go. And he says, he says, I know the first generation of those, because there's three generations, the 63 being the coolest, or the 65. It's a 65. Sorry. The 65 being the coolest looking one. The first generation ones.
Speaker: There was only like 12 of them made, and they go for 120, 130ps, but they were like 350s. So small V8, still beefy enough for something that weighs about less than a beetle. But it's got four -inch side pipes on the side of this fucking thing. And when it starts up, there's no muffler or nothing. It's just blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker: Well, I'm one of those guys I'm such a car freak that when I hear a good exhaust, I'm like, what's that? And it's gotten to the point where if I hear a box truck, that the exhaust is like fucked up. I'm like, you know, it sounds beefy. And I'm like, and then I look and I'm like, fuck, it's a box truck. I literally when I first heard this thing, I was sitting here in the in the bedroom, watching TV. And I was like, oh, somebody's got a box truck here.
Speaker: I was like, that's not a box truck. That's pretty. Pop said it doesn't look bad. Well, there he is. It's in good shape. I mean, like I said, I have two problems with it. The fact that it's silver is the first problem. And the second problem is he won't let me drive it because I don't know him.
Speaker: Well then, how do you know you won't let you drive it? Because when I introduce myself to car people, they're like, yeah, no, you're not driving my car. Because I'm like, I ripped the fucking tires off that fucking thing. Because I can't hold it. Well, yeah. That's because you're a jackass. That's because you're a jackass. But the thing is, I've never really found the Cobras that they're, you know,
Speaker: I'm ashamed to say it, but my kid thinks the Tesla is the coolest thing ever. And I'm like, what's wrong with each kid? My, my boys are in the same boat. It's, it's because of YouTube on every YouTuber in the planet. It's like, I got 80 grand on a fucking golf cart. Yeah. It's, it's, it's because of the YouTubers, because every time one of my boys say something about Tesla, this just let me say, Oh, oh, so -and -so they have a Tesla and it's like, well, so -and -so is also a douche bag. So do you want to be a douche bag? The choice is yours.
Speaker: Well, I mean, don't get me wrong. Teslas are cool for, you know, they're, they're, they're stupid fast, but they're just not, they're not sexy at all. And, and then that, that new, uh, that mock Mustang SUV thing. Oh my God. That thing, somebody at Ford needs their ass whipped. What are they?
Speaker: Speaking of somebody getting an ass whooped. Yeah. Mark Zuckerberg is going to get his ass whooped. What do you do now? I just, I don't know. I mean, I don't even know. Our live was all fucked up. That's what I've been trying to deal with. That's why I allowed you to talk about something, make a wish car across the street. The live was all fucked up. Basically, it just stopped at the intro. And now, you know, being 40 some odd minutes into the broadcast already, I just now realized it.
Speaker: So what's up camp? So I had to go in and fix it and readjust it. And I don't know. And Facebook are going to fight. I'm calling you out right now, Facebook. I know you can fucking hear me. I know you're listening. Come catch these hands. Yeah. Well, my wife and I were discussing Facebook muting us because I was playing Black Dot Mojo.
Speaker: And the fact that we've literally been like, we have the rights, we have the permission to use these songs. And she's like, can't you do something about that? I'm like, what are you going to do? It's their company. We can complain. That's all we can do. What I'm going to do is call them fuckers out. It's 2021. I don't care if you're white, purple, green, brown, yellow, black, male, female. These hands are equal opportunity hands. Everybody can catch them.
Speaker: So, come and get you some Facebook. Stop **** with my emotions. Goddamn it. Play with my emotions. I'm just going to personally email Mark Zuckerberg. He's like, who the **** is this guy? I'm the guy that's standing outside your door right now. You son of a **** Come on. I'm on my way to Ryan Reynolds. Get out of my way.
Speaker: You keep sucking me. I don't appreciate it. What up, Cam? I'm trying to put out some high quality content here. Trying, being the key word. Well, that's more than what can be said about most, quote unquote, content creators. Oh my gosh. My kid watches this guy. I don't know who he is.
Speaker: But him and his buddies play this game called Raft. Have you seen this guy? He literally sounds like Plankton from SpongeBob, number one. And every time I look at the screen, I'm expected to see this little fucking Plankton sitting there talking shit. But it's so annoying. And they play for like three hours at a time. And my kids will watch every second of them like, you know what? You guys could watch non -surgical non -sensors.
Speaker: Yeah, I'd much rather you watch our terrible show than listen watch this asshole Cameron wants to know you why you look like a homeless man when you put a ball cap on Well the fact that he shaved his beard off don't help matters doesn't help yeah My as I stated my wife was complaining about my my stubble and I said well a it's your fault and be give it a couple weeks
Speaker: Well, I'm like, give it a couple hours. I haven't shaved since I shaved. I haven't shaved since I shaved either. I don't care about his name. I don't care about the guy's name. My kids come over here going, that guy you're talking about is, and I'm like, I don't care about his name. He's annoying. Are they watching us downstairs? Apparently. They're watching on YouTube.
Speaker: Speaking of Cameron, I don't know where Pops is. I don't know if he's got a top 10 or if he's got an internet connection or what the hell Pops is doing. That last internet connection he had was terrible. That was bad. Yeah, that was bad. But speaking of Cameron, he reached out to me today.
Speaker: shout out to him for this one. We might be having another guest come on the show before long. I've got to reach out to him. I sent the guy a friend request. Um, but, uh, he is a former Clemson tiger, uh, the university of Clemson and was, uh, an undrafted free agent signed with the Patriots. I don't think he made it.
Speaker: into a regular game, but then he also played for the CFFL, I believe, or the Canadian Football League, one of the two. Former football player. Seems like a pretty cool guy. But Cameron reached out. And Cameron is the unofficial official promoter of the show, apparently. I told him. I told him.
Speaker: Welcome to the nonsensical family, Cameron. I told you, I said, well, you know, yeah. We'll give you your credit too. It's an unpaid, it's an unpaid physician, much like being the host, but.
Speaker: But, you know, Cameron reached out to a little slick stuff. They talked to said you what he, what he, what Cameron sent me. So you can see it all. Cause I don't remember all of what it said, but the guy was like, sure. I'm down. So Cameron was like, Hey, you know, here's the name. He's going to send you a friend request and talk to you guys. Good luck down to date. He was like, hell yeah. So.
Speaker: Hopefully, we can get him on here. He's a pretty cool guy. I had to break it down to let him know we're not a sports show. But obviously, we'll go into a sports stuff so people will kind of get an idea who he is and anything like that. You scored a home run, right? Like, what the fuck show am I on? I do have a question for you. Have you ever talked in your sleep? I talk in my sleep all the time. Apparently, last night,
Speaker: I don't know what the fuck I was dreaming, but my wife, my wife woke up at like five 30 in the morning. Uh, he does have one Joe. Okay.
Speaker: Uh, my wife woke up at like five o 'clock in the morning and she was, she was sitting up and she was kind of flicking through the TV. And apparently I rolled over and I said, let the milk tickle her asshole. 20 minutes later, my wife woke me up to make sure her, her, she was like, Hey, do you know where my work uniform is? Cause she had to go back to work today.
Speaker: And she's like, and what the fuck were you dreaming? I was like, what are you talking about? She's like, well, you said, let the milk roll down and tickle her asshole. And I was like, Hmm, sounds like a sexy dream. Maybe you should let me get back to it. It's five 30 in the morning. But apparently I said that. Well, I'm not going to lie when you. Initially asked me if I ever talked in my
Speaker: Sleep. Mm hmm. I thought you were going to segue into something that you some like horrible shit that you said about me, like, you know, dirty dream. And I was like, I was going to be like, yeah, that's the end of the podcast. 50 episodes, Steve. Well, I remember I had I was I dreamt that pops get ready to come in. I dreamt something about. Like.
Speaker: I remember dreaming something about squid game. I don't know why. You were dreaming something about something all right. Let the milk tickle her asshole. And she's laughing her ass off. She's like, why did you say let the milk tickle her asshole? I said, well, obviously it was a sex dream. She's like, we haven't had enough. And I said, hmm, I don't know. Let's find out.
Speaker: I said, let me get this glass of milk. I'll be right back. I gotta go down to the kitchen. I'm gonna go down to the kitchen. I'm gonna give you a glass of milk and I'll be right back.
Speaker: But here we go. Let the milk tickle your asshole. Yeah. Yeah. This goes somewhere where we can clean this up. Bend over the shower. Just go with it, baby. Stand in the shower and mend over. Apparently that's not the first time I've said something weird. Yeah. No.
Speaker: sleep a lot. Um more so like when I'm stressed or whatever but um apparently I do it all the time but 90 % of the time she sleeps right through. I mean that woman will sleep through anything. Yeah. And and I can I've uh when I was with my ex, you know, of course, Mexico, everything's **** tile. Uh I was asleep on the bed
Speaker: the house we had had come up like they burst open and my ex my ex said it sounded like a bomb went off I rolled over and I was like did you drive something and went back to me it sounded like nothing but apparently like the tiles pushed together and popped up and they exploded like ten tiles all at once
Speaker: Apparently water gets underneath and expands the contract Yeah, I was trying to bring a pops in but I don't know what is going on on his side. He's got that Odd lot in it odd lots internet. Yeah This camera like his little screen popped up, but then there's nothing What happens if I bring him up on the screen I can't even bring him up once. Oh, he's disconnected
Speaker: Pops make sure your location is on because I've had that problem Even that location thing now that really that really rubs you the wrong way I don't know what the fuck it is But if you don't have your location on when you go on to haps on the phone, it will not let you go on That one day that one day I fucked around for like what 20 minutes before I realized what was wrong I
Speaker: And it's not like it's not like, Hey, turn on your location asshole. They just not working. Yeah. That one, that one day I literally sent a, a message to Habs going, what the fuck? Yeah. That one day it happened. I was like, well, I guess I'm doing a new solo. Yeah. No Jeff tonight. No problem.
Speaker: I'm hoping to go sometime this week over to the computer store and see if I can't get my laptop working Hopefully it's a little bit about power connection that I talked about It's weird. I bought that I bought a you know
Speaker: Bob's brand power adapter. And it didn't work. And I read online that sometimes you have to have the original power adapter. And you said the same thing. Well, yeah, which is what I told you when you said that you went and yeah, you went and bought just like a universal type. It had like 15 different connections. So I could hook up a Sony, an HP or, you know,
Speaker: Apple or whatever. But luckily they took it back. I took it over to them and showed them. I said, look, this fucking thing doesn't work. They're like, yeah, we'll take it back. They give me my money back. Well, at least they gave me your money back. Yeah. Well, considering it was like almost $50, I would have burned down the store. But I found a computer store. They sell everything you would ever want or need to have a podcast.
Speaker: And like they got mics and they got booms and all that stuff, but their booms cost way more than mine. So, uh, but, uh, it's amazing. They also didn't make their booms out of random pieces of wood and hammer. That's used the way that weight, the counterweight. Yeah. But, uh, they have, they have 25 power adapters that are HP.
Speaker: Yeah, and they got they got different brands, you know, but they have like 25 30 of each one So and they're only charging like 30 bucks So i'm gonna take those as opposed to buying it and then bringing home and it doesn't work I'm gonna take the laptop over there. I'm like, look i'm gonna buy this one to make sure it works power adapter HP wow I can hear myself He has got
Speaker: either Joe's phone or something, it's taking a nice bit of time. I'm hearing myself and it's throwing off my train of thought. But like I said, I'm gonna go over there and take it over there. And if it works, great. I already bought a keyboard and a new mouse for it. I just have to, you know, luckily all that stuff's plug and play. Yeah, for the most part. Well, I think we have pops. Yeah, I see them now.
Speaker: See him. I don't know if we can hear him. I think I'm in here. Yeah. Okay. Can you hear me? Yep. Can you hear me all right now? Hello? Yeah. All right. You got a turtleneck on there? I'm Steve Jobs, but okay.
Speaker: He pulls an eyeball out of his pocket. I'm running. You're a professional. Have you never listened to this show? Absolutely nothing professional about anything we do.
Speaker: That's like you coming on here like, oh, we're gonna take baby steps into the top 10. These are the worst pickup lines ever. It's like, what the fuck? We want the dirty. We want the raunchy. Uh -oh. Uh -oh. Always a good sign. Oh, god.
Speaker: You have had the worst connection the past two shows. I think we need to start a GoFundMe for Pops's connections. GoFundMe for Pops Internet. We will pay his internet just so we can do a top 10. But we won't, but you guys will.
Speaker: His internet bill is $3. His internet bill is $5 ,000 a week. We must raise $20 ,000. Yeah. We'll give him the $3. Exactly. It's $20 ,000 an episode. Help pops do his top 10.
Speaker: Anyway, he's back, but his connection sucks. Are you on your data or are you on your wifi? This is the goddamn knowledge show with all these fucking, I know, right?
Speaker: the server server
Speaker: So they have no, they have no internet, no building. I see that he posted the thing on Facebook and I was just like, who the fuck steals a goddamn router? Yeah, out of all the shit Jesus steal. He was like, somebody stole the router out of the building, but they were nice enough to put all the wires back up in the ceiling. That way they leave no trains.
Speaker: That is very polite criminal. It was probably Bob. Yeah, it was definitely Bob. I talked to him. He said, I caught it. He's sending it to Bob's. Says I got a good, good connection here. Okay, now we can hear you. Don't move.
Speaker: Why you guys figure that out? I have to run out and open the gate. My wife just. We sent, we sent Bob down to Tampa to sabotage the Kevin Holly show. Suck it, Bob. You got it. You got a top 10. You got a top 10. Tonight there pops. There goes. And there it goes. Yeah.
Speaker: Your service sucks. You sounded like a broken down robot. It's breaking up, it glitching out really well. Welcome to the nonsense, the good nonsense.
Speaker: We're not only are we technological idiots, we also have more technical difficulties than anything else. Anyways, but, but yeah, I see. I said try to use your cell phone data.
Speaker: more on our issues. Yeah, that was my thing. I can't believe somebody broke into a building and and sold them Wi -Fi router. You're you're glitching up and freezing something fierce. And now Kevin's kids are going to go break all of his stuff and he's going to come back and yell at him. You guys are going to get in so much trouble Kevin.
Speaker: No, he said I could be on. He's gonna come back and throw you out the window. Oh, man.
Speaker: This is completely derailed the show. You just got to get up and go up the gate. Yeah. You're just, when you start to talk, you're glitching in and out really bad. That's why I asked if you were on Wi -Fi or if you were on your cell phone data. No, well, I'm on my cell phone data. We don't have Wi -Fi out here.
Speaker: I don't have cell phone that out there either. I got, I got a bad, bad signal. I guess weak signal. I guess something I can't.
Speaker: You're going to have to drive back to civilization for the podcast to do your top 10. Are they finally ready? No, I think I'm going to actually, what I think I actually going to do, I'm going to put a hotspot on my truck and run off my truck. How does your truck not already have a hotspot on it? I was going to say, I got to buy it. Well, we could hear you talk here.
Speaker: Your cameras fucked up, but maybe we can at least get through the audio Yeah, I was gonna say can we uh, yeah like if we take out his camera, can we still maybe if I stop moving now? Yeah, that might help too Yeah, I can hear you
Speaker: I think so. Boy, let me give you your intro. We took your camera. Nonsensical nonsense presents real men with lack of genius. Today we salute you, Mr. I. Dr. Dooley, for no reason. So it's your time to shine. Give us your top 10. That literally hurts my voice.
Speaker: All right. Your camera's not up, but that don't matter. We're going to see your face. We're just going to hear your voice. Yeah. Everybody knows I look good anyhow. All right. My top 10 for night is top 10 alcohol drinks. All right. You're going to love number one. Yeah, number one.
Speaker: number ten number number number one through ten. I do like a pina colada though. occasional. Yeah, everyone. I knew you're going to make fun of it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Pina colada. Everyone thinks
Speaker: Uh, ice, basically. It's got, it's got two strikes against it right off the bat. That's the only time I actually eat fruit. It's the idea of making a glove. And then the third strike is it tastes like ass. That's the only way my life can actually make me eat. All right. Number nine.
Speaker: be going through
Speaker: Number nine. Number nine is champagne or sparkly wine. Yeah champagne is so fresh, so fun, so fancy. Yeah champagne and beer. Number eight. I don't either. If you ain't never drank, if you have never drank this,
Speaker: then you ain't then you you haven't drank vodka and orange juice ah screwdriver who has not drank vodka and orange juice isn't that what um mimosa is no way mimosa is champagne no uh mimosa is champagne and orange juice it's actually the only way to drink champagne because champagne tastes like asshole yeah i agree the screwdrivers are good oh i don't mind
Speaker: I may or may not have polished off a bottle of vodka. I may or may not have drank in several of those in one night. Yeah. But the problem with vodka is it's a creeping alcohol. It's like a... Yeah. It sneaks up on you and just pops you in the back of the fucking head. Because, I mean, there's been a few nights where Kevin and I have been hanging out and I'm drinking bucket. It delivers.
Speaker: delivers uh uh overnight and overall smooth taste revolutionary vodka the revolution vodka with a splash of Gatorade and Red Bull now that sounds good Gatorade and Red Bull yeah but the problem with drinking Red Bull when you're when you're drinking alcohol in general is you get
Speaker: Sean, my buddy Sean, he's getting his ass kicked with COVID right now. So number seven, Robitussin. I really... I don't know. I have never really tried Red Bull. I like the team. Number seven. I like that it keeps me up for days. This is mine. This is my whiskey and ice.
Speaker: whiskey. JD doesn't do it. The whiskey and ice. JD doesn't do it. It numbs the tongue too soon. And the novice drinker won't get a chance to enjoy the taste of whiskey. Well, I was just saying, I know you drink all that fancy stuff. Yeah, I'm not a mixed drink guy in the first place.
Speaker: I'm, I'm a real, I'm a real, uh, give me a beer and I'm fine. Yeah. I like, I like the JD. Uh, I'm, I'm good. You know, I started out with JD and that honey Jack. That's a good one too. They got this on here too. Honey whiskey, honey, that honey, Jack Daniels and sweet tea is perfect. Oh yeah. That's good. They got that on here.
Speaker: The problem with me drinking hard alcohol is I make those funny faces. I'm like... Well, that honeyjack has a real smooth taste to it. And then you mix it with sweet tea, and you can barely even taste it. And I'll usually put like two shots of my honey and jet. Oh, really? Yeah. There's a screwball on there. Sean's guessing the top 10.
Speaker: Now, you know, one I like, I gotta start alone with that, uh, fire. Well, apparently if you mix creme de menthe, I don't know what it is, but if you mix fireball with certain thing, it tastes like a Cinnabon.
Speaker: and that would just get me completely fucked up. Fireball, it's a cinnamon whiskey. It's got a cinnamon whiskey. Yeah, I don't like that cinnamon whiskey. Yeah, Joey, turn out and buy it. Astros win. These Houston shooters win. Joey went out and won. They sell those in shots here. In six shots. Six shots. Eight packs. Oh, yeah, you can buy the little balls.
Speaker: Yeah. One night, Joni went out and bought that. I bought, I think she had bought eight bottles of them. And I finished off all eight. I finished all eight, all eight bottles and then realized, damn, this shit's good. Well, actually, when it comes to cinnamon and alcohol, I love Goldschlager. Oh my God. I love that shit.
Speaker: Brian and Sean both said Rum Chata and with Fireball is a good drink in the chatters box. I like I said, I'm not a big fan of Fireball. I don't like the taste of it. Of course, it's not in first place.
Speaker: It's not it's not any worse than that shit that speaking of Sean That we were drinking up on the rooftop when they came down to Charleston. This is like Rupple or some shit like that. Oh I guess it was like that's like a Detroit thing. I don't know or a Michigan thing Horrible Yeah case Keenum starting Sunday we have like none of our offensive lines out of there and everything tastes like
Speaker: Tastes like cinnamon toast crunch. You know what? I'd have to try that. Yeah. Like I said, too much cinnamon can overpower so fast. I can keep track of it. Yeah, Rubble, Rubble, 100 peppermint snacks, schnapps. Number six. Now this sucks. Number six is a fucking margarita.
Speaker: Yeah. Uh -oh. You better watch out now. Summer, AKA Margarita Mama, will get after you, ass. That girl loves her margaritas. I've had a margarita. How do you never had a margarita when you live in Mexico? Because I drink beer. Like a man. You don't even drink beer very good. I used to. In the past 11 years, I stopped drinking. I mean, I drink occasionally, but it's like, I used to drink all the time.
Speaker: You don't even. I was like a manager, Chris. No, you're not, you're not even know you're, you're not even, we can't even rate you two shots of scotch, one shot of one. Amorito. Have you ever had that pops? That sounds something that is like you'd be right up your alley. Try it.
Speaker: I like a good white Russian. I like a nice cold blood wiser. Yeah, I'm into that. White Russian or a flaming Russian? Mm -hmm. What's in a flaming Russian? I have no idea. It tastes good. It tastes good. Yeah, Margarita, the first
Speaker: The first and best time that was drunk, best drunk ever. Don't know. You don't know that you're drunk until it's too late. Yeah, that's the problem with tequila. It's another one of those sneak up and punching it back in the fucking dick. I don't play with tequila. Here's me some white girl. What's a white girl, Sean? Yeah. You meant white claw.
Speaker: Probably. That wouldn't surprise me. Fancy a few white claws every now and again. Hey, man. Ain't no walls when you white claw. I've never had white claw. I've never had a white claw, but I have had some of those seltzer drinks or whatever the hell they're called. They're not bad. The only wine. No, they're the hard seltzers. Like hard lemonade and shit like that.
Speaker: Yeah, the only problem with them is they're super sweet. Right. If I drink more than two of them, it's harder for the rest of them. Yeah, well, yeah. And it feels like you just ate a bag of Halloween candy. Yeah. But they're not bad. I mean, and in all honesty, some of them have a higher alcohol content than beer.
Speaker: Yeah, it's just not for me. I like a good rum and coke. Rum and coke, I can't drink rum anymore. Rum's good for you. When I drink rum, I want to fight bears. Literally, I want to fight bears. Now we know where Christmas is from.
Speaker: I had to break it to you. There's only one click that can find a bear. They got me off because if I had the camera on. Yeah. Are you talking about cooking? He just walked back in the room. Number five. All right. This is a good one. Number five. Sex on the beach. That's a good one.
Speaker: I've done those. Nice. Not my favorite, but I've drank it. I drank it. I like it. I like it. Don't call him out. One of you had that.
Speaker: I've never actually drank one. I've done shots of them though. I've done shots, yeah. Yeah, it was like, it was like a birthday thing and then my bachelor party and good bourbon, Woodford Reserve, Garrison Brothers and Buffalo Trace. I don't know much about all that bourbon stuff. My buddy, Pops Trace, my buddy does. Here we go. Very good, Jeff.
Speaker: number number four tequila I have a story about tequila that will make you never drink it before again I used to work at a bar no well I used to work at a bar that
Speaker: They had this MC and I worked at the bar. I did body piercing tattoos and I was kind of a bouncer. But on my birthday, they dragged me up on stage. Literally four guys dragged me on stage because I was like, no, I'm not going because I knew it was going to happen. And they gave me a champagne flute full of Jose Cuervo, which is the worst tequila. And, you know, one time, OK, no big deal.
Speaker: But after the fifth time, I was fucked up. And I literally didn't make it on the bar before I threw up. Plus drinking all night. Just was not a good combo. I've only danced with the tequila devil once in my life. And that was enough for me. I learned my lesson. I woke up three days later and joined a search party. I joined a search party that was looking for you.
Speaker: Literally, literally, now if I smell Jose Cuervo, I almost get sick. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Yeah, I don't, I don't, yeah, I learned my lesson. I learned my lesson. Jose Cuervo is the devil. Last time I had it was down in Mexico. Last time I had it was down in Texas. I was broke down at truck stop and somebody out back had a bottle of it.
Speaker: And like I said, two days later, I woke up trying to figure out where the hell I was and what the hell I did. That's the perfect person to drink alcohol with. Just some random stranger that's behind the trip stop. Next thing you know, like, surprise. Oh, no. Does this smell like more work? Woke up two days later in the back of an asshole.
Speaker: Late 80s, early 90s. You pull into a truck stop, there's always a barbecue going on. There's always something going on.
Speaker: I just don't know how I would feel about a random stranger. You want a shot? I don't know. Wake up with that truck stop doaster three days later, you asshole. You came here cross -eyed. Head splitting like a quarter fire would.
Speaker: I don't know what we went into all the time. We, we went when I, when I was working for company PDQ, it was down in San Antonio, I think it was. Yeah. San Antonio, we went across the border one night, one morning we went across the border, went into this little bar and did the lead driver. He knew, knew this bar from somewhere from back
Speaker: back in the day. And we went in there and started drinking. I was drinking square rose. And that timing is dude, you need to eat some Mexican food. All right. So he talked to this bar maid into making guacamole.
Speaker: This car is closed up, curtains are closed, can't really see. This guy has some money, he goes out and gets his serving tray. It's upside down, smacks it, takes the rag wipes off, and he starts mixing the stuff up. And I've done had probably three, four drinks by then.
Speaker: And who sets down the chips? I'd be passed out. They're eating their stuff. And the driver says, well, what do you think of it? I said, yeah, yeah, that's pretty good. Back then, in order, if you're, the bars closed, the curtains closed. When you open up, when you're open, they open up the curtains. Right.
Speaker: They barbed up, hit up curtains, and I looked and I see this big blob of green shit. Yeah, guacamole doesn't look good, but it tastes good.
Speaker: He got drunk in Cancun but woke up in some little Mexican city. Steve Buscemi was telling stories of El Mariachi. The biggest Mexican he ever saw. Last time I was awake, I was in Cancun. We should go down to Plaxico, California.
Speaker: Oh, yeah. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot. Shot.
Speaker: Number three, you wanna know what number three is? Yeah. Number three is wine. Ew. For all you winos. I don't, I can't stand the taste of wine. Do you drink, just? It's one of those things where if you, you can't, you know, you can drink a whole bottle of wine and not even think about it.
Speaker: Not me. I can barely get into a glass because it tastes like asshole in a glass. It's a different drunk with wine though. It's a different feeling with wine. I don't like wine. It's too bitter for me. Yeah.
Speaker: but I have, I have gotten drunk off a wide a couple of times and it hits different. You know, it really does. It hits you differently. Yeah. Where I said that tequila and mojitos, he woke up in a hammock by the pool. Well, that's, yeah. Well, mojitos are, they will fuck you up. Another one of those sneaky little fuckers.
Speaker: I'm just, I've tasted a lot of wines. I mean, they're all just, they just all have that bitter taste. Yeah. I've never, I've never, I've never, I've had a lot of people like, Oh, you're just drinking the wrong wine. No, it's all wine cross the board. Tastes like shit. Yeah. It's just, yeah, it's just nothing, something about it is no. Number two. That's the one I can't drink no more. Rum and Coke. And that used to be one time. I love it.
Speaker: I mean, I can get down on some rum and coke. It's a nice way to disguise the fact that you're drinking or, or rum and Pepsi because I don't drink. I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know. Captain Morgan made drum.
Speaker: Yeah. I guess I should look in my cabinets every once and once. But they're gone. Brian is in the chatter's box over here defending wine. He said red wine with a nice medium rare state. I'll get down with you on some medium rare state. I like that state. I want to change that state for all my places. But yeah, I just can't do wine.
Speaker: That's what Captain Morgan is. It's literally called spiced rum.
Speaker: Well, I can't drink alcohol while I eat. Oh, yeah. Well, that's your problem. I can't either. It's a weird thing. I can't drink and eat. Because when I drink, I drink to get buzzed or drunk or whatever. When I'm eating, if I'm going to drink something, it's to wash my cock and gull it out. Beer is perfect to wash your gull it out. He also said that... No, I can't drink period with beer.
Speaker: Yeah, I just didn't have another one. Brian also said rum and coke is for rookies. I can probably 100 % agree with you there. No, it's a great thing to sneak into, like, you know, Little League games. Because, like, no, it's just coke. There's Little League games that last forever. Yeah, yeah. Sean told Pops to have another one. Pops isn't drinking. He's just...
Speaker: Uh, I see now, I gotta get up in a few hours. Okay. I'm home. Yeah. What date was she on? I don't know. She was on a date. She was on a date with her girlfriend, I guess. I don't know. It was Bob. Bobby's getting the bus ready. Yes.
Speaker: Number one. Can anybody guess what number one is? It better be beer. Yeah, Budweiser. Because there's only one beer and it's Budweiser. And if you drink buchilates, you're an idiot and you don't really drink buchilates, you only drink them because it's a trend. Because that is terrible fucking beer. Like I said, my best beer, my best beer is M .G .D. I love the taste of M .G .D. Beer.
Speaker: this beer was discovered in Mesedonia. In 95 or what was it? 9500 BC. Oh, yeah. That's Jesus juice. That's a real Jesus juice. Micheloboltures. I do. Yeah, Micheloboltures is a pretty good beer. Well, thank you. Thank you, baby. For the heart.
Speaker: First, some bears come from roots which basically became root beer. It was discovered back in 95 B .C. and it was naturally aspirated.
Speaker: Yeah. Look at you in the big fancy words, Jeff. I know. I know certain words. Yeah, I can't. I'm glad he can because I sure can't. I'm not even reading it. I just know it. You can't fucking read them. You can just say them. I know. I'm intellectual like that.
Speaker: All right, calm down there, Mr. Fancy Prince. Yeah. Fancy like Apple. You've reached the two big words of the day limit, and I haven't even got to news yet. Yeah. But hey, you know what? That's the top 10. That's top 10. Top 10 alcohol. Toss him the dirty towel so he can dry himself off. Beer is a reigning champion.
Speaker: I think and not to shit on beer, but I think the reason why beer is reigning number one is because it's the cheapest. Well, I mean, yes and no. And most readily available. Yes and no, because with the popularity of craft beers and breweries and stuff like that, there are expensive.
Speaker: Yeah, there's a German beer that I really like. It's called Radenberger. But for a six, it's imported. It's an actual German beer. There's a couple German beers that I really like. But for a six pack of those beers, it's like $16 or $17 or something like that. Ouch. For a six pack. Yeah, which is why you just stick to Bud Light. The Bud Lighters are so good.
Speaker: Um, uh, I don't know about you. I know it doesn't work like this for you, Chris, but, but when I drink beer, sometimes it just, it's like, wow, this is not going down smooth. And other times it's like, fuck, this is like water. And I drink like 40 of them. Yeah. Well, that's exactly how every beer is for me. For the most part, you're just watering this beer. Yeah. You're white. You're white Russian. It rates number 13.
Speaker: Yes. I'm just saying you're a white Russian mate. Well see, but I guarantee you in 98 it was higher because in 98 was when the big Lebowski came out and that's what Jeff Bridges drank and that was what got me on it. I was just going to say that the only reason you drink a white Russian is because of the dude. Yep. Jeff Lebowski, man. I do like Jeff Lebowski.
Speaker: rum made made 18. Yeah, but who drinks straight rum? That's just a psychopath. I agree with you, Brian. I like the cherry wheat. I'll tell professors all right, but I like the cherry wheat.
Speaker: I'd love to try Absence, but I'm also slightly afraid of it. Yeah. I'm a little bit afraid of it, but I kind of want to try it. Yeah. As long as I'm in a safe space when I do it, like my bedroom. Well, after I watched American Horror Story Hotel, it made me feel different about Absence.
Speaker: White Russian joints and she drank white Russians back in 83. Yeah. She's going to go and age herself there. Yeah. I was gonna say, talk about putting your age out there. Well, it was nice about white Russians. The only thing is I, uh, I would actually, uh, I actually changed it later on to, um, Brown cows. Brown cow is a white Russian without milk. So it's just vodka and Kahlua because I'm
Speaker: somewhat lactose intolerant, so I would drink, get drunk, and then shit for three days. So I was like, yeah, let's switch to brown cows. I won't. Brian said he drinks rum and whiskey. Bodkin what? You can pretty much mix anything with vodka, vodka and lemonade. Yeah, pretty much. Oh, vodka and lemonade.
Speaker: I still say, I still say, well, there's, there's one, it's called a kabucha and it's, it's coffee and alcohol, which once again is the, the right up there with putting like vodka or vodka and ripple is you'd be completely fucking hammered, but you couldn't pass out. You know, like, you know, here's another, here's another one. Number two, number.
Speaker: I got this Jager and Red Bull, which is a Jager bottle. I don't like Jager. Yeah, Jager's disgusting. Yeah. But they have a Jager bus come through Cancun every year, and I'm just like, fuck that bus. I like to drink bourbon and whiskey. I like to sip on it. Don't get straight. I'm not going to sit there and down them. Those are just good sippers.
Speaker: Yeah, I can't. I can't. That's the problem. Yeah. Fucking really doesn't have much of a taste to me, in my opinion. That's why you can just put in pretty much mix it with whatever. Right. But I wouldn't be upset if they banned it. And Brian said, Buck is discussing it. Yeah. I wouldn't be upset if they banned it. But like I said, that fucking little Russian ninja has kicked me in the face more times. Yeah, amen to that. Because like I said, there's been many a nights where I've been drinking it out of nowhere. Like one night in particular,
Speaker: and I was sitting around playing video games and I drank an entire bottle of vodka and I brought it out of the kitchen. I was like, dude, I drank this whole **** bottle and I don't feel like, you know, you lay on the floor. He's like, he was like, that's because you're an alpha and that's about all I got. He got out there and I was like, oh, there it is. Yeah, I am. Well, the one night, uh, my ex and I went to a bar with a bunch of friends and there it was around the time of the popularity of the
Speaker: And a friend of mine had a homie doll in her purse. And she kept ordering shots of vodka. And then she dropped the homie doll in it and goes, save her. She's drowning. And of course, I would do the shot. Save another one. And I was like, I'm not paying for him, whatever. And I was fine until about midnight when I got home and I just hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm like, this is not cool.
Speaker: So yeah, I don't fuck with hard alcohol. I stick with beer and I'm good. Because I know what I can do and what I can't do on beer. I don't know what I can and can't do on hard alcohol. Or continue to drink it. Well, my problem is, back in the day, I used to mix the two a lot.
Speaker: And sometimes I have these moments where I get these brilliant brainstorms and it's like, I can still mix whiskey and Budweiser all night long and I'm fine. We found that out one night, didn't we? After fried chicken. Yeah. I don't know. That was actually weird.
Speaker: That was a beer, that was a beer, the bourbon, and the moonshine. And so, yeah. But you're also talking to the guy that had already polished off more than a 12 pack before you got here, that you guys brought me more beer and I drank that. And then I was drinking your silly ass bourbon and then I drank that damn moonshine. So I got to ask for it that night, but meanwhile you're over here sipping on your three drops of bourbon and can of Coke.
Speaker: Marvin, Japanese whiskey. Isn't that sake or something? Yeah, I think that's sake or something like that. Oh my goodness.
Speaker: or is it a different Japanese, or no, Saki is Japanese beer. Saki is more like a Japanese wine, is my understanding. That is fucking disgusting. One of my old bosses, when I originally worked at OSU, he was in the military and did some served over in Japan or something like that at some point. And he had a bunch of Saki, and then he had a connection for Saki.
Speaker: He was like, well, you should try it. And I tried it and I was like, it doesn't taste like complete cork's ass. So. My dad, my dad told a story once. Uh, my dad was in Korea during the Korean war and him and his buddies decided to go to the local bar and drink. And they, you know, they just went in to drink beer and the guys serving them said, look, I'll give you guys as much beer as you want. But as soon as you get off of your
Speaker: Barstool you're on your own and they're like, please we're American we can drink Well, the problem is what they do in Korea is they put formaldehyde in the beer Which dehydrates you That's not a lot but it dehydrates you which is what alcohol does is dehydrate you which is what makes you fucked up and my dad's buddy Literally had one beer and he got up He's like I got pissed and literally laid on the floor of the rest of the night
Speaker: Jesus Christ. Yeah, that's, that's a bit rough sensei, Japanese whiskey and law. Why? And I know I butchered those, but, uh, are the Japanese whiskeys that Brian has. I honestly, I've never heard of them, but I don't venture too, too much into the world of whiskey and bourbon and stuff. Like I said, my buddy Kevin, he's, he knows all the fancy bourbons and shit like that. But, um,
Speaker: Not so much, not so much me. I just prefer beer because I could drink up beer like all day and I'm good to go. Yeah. That's what I was saying. I can literally drink beer all day and I know, okay, if I'm getting a little too fucked up, I can be like, okay, I'm going to take a break, have a couple glasses of water or Coke or whatever, and then go back to drink a beer, no problem. Where if I did the same thing with hard alcohol or something else, I'd be like, I don't know where my limit is. Yeah.
Speaker: Well, um, speaking of break, let's jump off here. Take a real quick break. We'll let pops go. Cause I know he's got to get up and just dry himself off. Here's your towel whore. You got what? Yeah, I got to find that Japanese.
Speaker: Well, uh, I might, well, we come back for a break. If Ryan's still around, I might bring him on here just for a minute, just so you can show us what it is. Cause he said, allow me to show you. So give us a couple minutes. We're going to, we're going to let pops jump off here. We're going to take a real quick break. Yeah. I'm going to go grab me a couple of beers and then we're going to come back with, uh, what the fuck news is going to show off his, uh, his, uh, checking his mouth. Yeah.
Speaker: There we go. All right. You guys have fun. Enjoy. I shall see you guys. Talk to you guys Saturday with another Top Gear. Excellent. And hopefully you have better and hopefully you'll have a better connection. Yeah. I'll pay your ear or something. Give my hotspot on my fancy. Oh yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm that dually. Yeah. We'll see you guys, or we'll see you. See you on Saturday. Take her easy, and if she's easy, take her twice.
Speaker: Sounds like Jeff's wife. Get out of here and go clean yourself up, you filthy whore. Thanks for the top 10 pops. We'll see you soon. Don't move. I'll get you a towel. Later. All right. We'll get rid of that guy with this.
Speaker: horrible internet connection. We're going to take a real quick break guys and then we'll be right back with what the **** news. Got a couple stories for you. We're going to go a little long tonight. Not too long and we'll let we'll bring Brian in for a minute and let him show us his Japanese whiskey. Yeah. Hey, not not not not not not wicked woman. That's going to become our end of the show thing. I think it's going to be our end of show song. I like that end of the show song.
Speaker: The problem is it gets me pumped up. Let's go with a little bit of this right here.
Speaker: What's the price for being alone? Which pain do you owe? Did you decide what you were told?
Speaker: Do you do it for the love? Do you do it for the money? The poor die young and the rich get lucky Cash is king and not a tender honey Do you do it for the love? Do you do it for the money?
Speaker: Do you do it for the love, or do it for the money? Before I die young and the reason you love me Cash is king and I'm the caster honey Do you do it for the love, or do you do it for the money?
Speaker: I wanna love how you do it, I wanna money
Speaker: Don't call me The prodigal son Cause I ain't coming back
Speaker: I'm making on my own Let me walk my own path And don't worry about me I've got everything I need
Speaker: Across the stars on the other side One of these days I won't be around I'll rip my roots out from the ground With wings above the streetways
Speaker: I'll fly towards the sun Until they melt from my back And don't tell me There's nothing left to find There's nothing more than this
Speaker: One of these days I won't be around I'm with my roots up from this ground With wings up in the stringing waves I fly towards the sun until they melt
Speaker: I've built my roads up from the ground With wings up in the stringing waves I fly towards the sun
Speaker: all right and we are back a little blacktop mojo to fur because uh i didn't take a shit no i didn't i was gonna say well tacos did i tacos for dinner tonight um they didn't quite seem to agree with my stomach and i sat down here that last song was uh was ending and it was like
Speaker: Ooh, that's a fart. I am at that certain age that I should, yeah, that, so I was like, yeah, two for, gotta go. Like, I was literally sitting here and just clenched up like, hurry up and in, any other time you would just in. I'm sweating. Ooh. Yeah, I know.
Speaker: But anyways, welcome back to the show. Welcome back to nonsensical nonsense. I'm Glick hanging out with Jeff as always. You're not already. Feel free to check us out on the old social media at nonsensical nonsense on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, Twitch, YouTube, Haps.
Speaker: Perhaps, I think it's just that's right. It just happens. And also you can get every episode of the podcast, which I've kind of been slacking lately, but my work schedule has been really weird lately. So come tomorrow or Friday, we'll probably be uploading three episodes all at once, but.
Speaker: You can check out every episode on Anchor, Spotify, Google Play, Apple Podcasts, basically anywhere you get your podcasts and fixings from or podcasts and jollies. If you be so kind, go give us a like and go give us a follow and go give Jeff a double thumbing.
Speaker: Cause, uh, that's his, that's his favorite. Also, if you'd, uh, if you'd like to, uh, email us about anything, sponsorships coming on the show as a special guest, uh, or if you just want to tell Jeff, he sucks. Well, you can always email us at, um, on Cisco nonsense podcast at gmail .com. Let me know how awesome I am. Oh man. That's what that email's for.
Speaker: That's what that emails for really because I'm pretty sure right now all that emails for spam every time I turn But but to set up accounts for social media and whatnot we had to have an email Yeah, and the last thing when I needed was that email clogging up my personal email, which is already full. Yeah
Speaker: Bullshit mother spam. Yeah, cuz that email is so old. I mean that emails older than my kids Well, I got an email today saying you haven't been active on our on our app for a long time. We were wondering Did that die
Speaker: Yeah, is that Abby even a thing still? I don't know if Brian's still around. I was like, fine? What the fuck? Oh, I think Brian's still around. No. Oh, mine got shut down like six months after it got big. They got bought out by a bigger company, and the bigger company is like, we'll just shelve this.
Speaker: Not for the audio users who listen to us on the replay of the podcast, but for the visuals that are watching, I want to bring Brian in here for just a minute before we jump into news. And that way he can show us what this Japanese whiskey is because I have honestly, you never heard of it. I've never heard of it. So I have no idea what it is. Well, you know, all the times we go to Japan. I mean, I feel like we have been, Oh, that reminds me.
Speaker: Yeah, okay. I don't know if it went away or if it went the way of Myspace where it's no longer in use, but you can still get on Myspace.
Speaker: Hey, what's going on, brother? Oh, no. Shit. Cancel himself. One bad connection to the next. All right, can you hear me now? Yeah, we can hear you. OK. How's it going, fellas? What's up, sir? What's going on, man? What's going on? I don't know, man. I was just listening to y 'all talk about alcohol and everything. I'm like, yeah, you know what? It's a good idea. Let me have some. So since you're not familiar,
Speaker: You may have seen it in your local liquor store, but you just, it's right in the whiskeys, but this was called sensei. So this one is about, yeah, it's a 40, it's a $40 bottle. Oh, that's not too bad at all. Yeah. It's a $40 bottle, uh, 40 % alcohol by volume. And then the other one I have is called a Y this one is like a 38, $35 bottle of whiskey. Okay.
Speaker: Yeah. I don't think I've ever seen that one, but I think I may have seen that since I used to live down in South Carolina. Yeah. So total wine and more. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah. At total one. That's where I bought this. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So that's what it looks like. But it's really nice. Has a little floral taste, but it's got a little kick to it.
Speaker: Yeah. I was going to say they're not, they're not too bad priced either. I mean, I was thinking you were going to come out here and say they were like $150 bottle. No, no, no, no, no. I would not get retarded on that. No, no, no, no. I mean like the most, the most I'll ever spend would probably be 80 bucks, but, but there you go. Drink it straight. So how was the taste? Has it got a smooth taste on it or it got bitterness or anything like that too?
Speaker: Has a little kick to it, it's smooth. You taste a little floral. I mean, because being from Japan, they have all those cherry blossoms. Yeah. They love cherry blossoms over Japan. You said floral. I was like, I don't know what floral tastes like. I'm not out here eating gardens. Yeah. Get my daisy intake for the day.
Speaker: Japanese plum wine. Yeah. Yeah. As Joe said Japanese plum wine. I just can't do one. I do. It's just. No, no, no, no, no. Look, look, when you have a medium rare steak, you have a red wine, whether you go with a cab with cab sov or you go with a Merlot or maybe a Malbec. Malbec, it's just it's got sweet and bitter to it, but it's a little bit more sweetened. But if you have like red wine to go with a medium rare steak, it is awesome.
Speaker: All you got to do is just you take your bite of your steak and then you take a sip of the red wine to follow afterward. It's very, very nice. Yeah. The problem is I don't sip anything, especially when I'm eating, you know, I, I literally, you know, at least fill my mouth with whatever I'm drinking, which is why I don't, I can't do alcohol while I eat. Yeah. But, um,
Speaker: And then earlier, I mean, like, I'm used to drinking whiskey straight, bourbon straight, rum straight. I don't make... Yeah. I don't do the rum and coke, Jack and coke. I don't do none of that anymore. That's rookie level. Yeah. I will stay on the rookie level because I can't do anything straight. Milton Strings is in vodka tonight. Believe me, Summer, the things that you would do to this click guy,
Speaker: Summer said, Oof, that good guy is sexy. The things I would do to him. Wow. Wow. Trust me. Only bearded guy, not on the podcast tonight. That is, that is, that is my fiance. Summer's my fiance.
Speaker: Yeah. Um, so that happens all the time. That happens every night, Joe light pops. Yeah. Jeff did have a beard, but, uh, his, he also got COVID and his doctor told him, well, his doctor told his wife that if, uh, he didn't shave his beard, that he would not get rid of the COVID. It would, it would, it would come back. I was like, ah.
Speaker: And you listened, did you believe it? Five, six years without shaving, I shave. But you also live in a third world country, known as Mexico. Yeah. There is that. It's cool. Summer said no one wants to do anything to you, Jeff, not even your wife. Mexico is cool. I've lived here for 20 years. It's
Speaker: It's a blast. I've never been down there, but I've, I've heard some horrible things from Jeff and it makes me not want to visit. You would literally only leave the hotel zone to come to my house, but, but like, you're in a hotel zone. Like we went, we were, like I said yesterday, uh, you and I were talking earlier before we started, uh, we went to the hotel zone. So, cause my wife had to get a go yet before she could go back to work. She had to have a negative COVID test. So we go get a COVID test. We're like, well, let's go to the hotel zone.
Speaker: We got a COVID test and then went for the Starbucks right next door. So I was like, well, that's convenient. And spent $400 on fucking.
Speaker: that's the
Speaker: Yeah, and also too, this is one part, we took a ferry going to Isla Mujeres. Oh yeah. Look at that shit. Oh, that's beautiful water. Yeah. And that's 12 feet deep. Yeah. Oh yeah. Milton said he lived in Asia for 20 years and now he lives in the North Georgia mountains, which do you prefer Milton? The mountains or Asia?
Speaker: Yeah Mexico is cool. It's cheap a lot of a lot of people from all over
Speaker: Yeah, a lot of people go there. I mean, hell, I bought like this sour apple flavored tequila for like $8 .50. Oh, yeah. Well, I was gonna say, yeah, that'd be the one thing that for me to go to Mexico would be a lot cheaper than than going to Florida. Oh, yeah.
Speaker: And what was really cool though, I was like, I was sitting, uh, while my buddy was, was, uh, was fiance and everything. I was just chilling on the beach, just having a Corona and then I forget and another mojito or two. I don't remember. However, though I was just, I was just chilling on the beach and then like three feet from me, like an iguana pops up out of nowhere. Just looking at me like, yo, what's up? Yeah, iguanas everywhere. Yeah.
Speaker: I'm like, all right, cool. I literally I went to the store earlier today Just get cigarettes and coke and as I'm walking back there's I was following three iguanas You can get that down in Florida too, apparently And try to bum a smoke for me that little guy bump that little guy bummer like walked creeped up to me
Speaker: Yeah. Come on. I know her and, and I mean, we have like an inch all the way up to, you know, like 12 feet. They're huge. Yeah. Well, we had that story a few weeks back about the guy who killed an iguana down in Florida and claimed stand your ground. So no.
Speaker: Even though, even though they are an invasive species in Florida and they're very destructive, they are still protected. But I guess this is a guana. Where did you stay when you were in Cancun? The what? Where did you stay when you were in Cancun? Uh, the first time I went to Cancun was Paradisus. And this last, this last go round was at the Ryupe, uh, Grand Peninsula.
Speaker: Okay. Yeah, I know both. Yeah. So it was like further north on the strip. I mean, I know there's like four different reuse, but the grand peninsula, it's like way up there. Um, actually the thing is with the Rio, they, they literally, they make you feel stupid rich. Yeah. Cause they're super, I mean, the one of them you walk in, I can't remember. I think it's Rio Cancun. It literally looks like you're walking into, uh, um, uh, the Bellagio in Vegas.
Speaker: Yeah, because that fancy. Yeah, because I walked in and it was like purple. Purple was like their thing. Yeah. Oh yeah. Well, each, each one of the reuse has a different color theme, but yeah, the problem. I know that. I know that hotel. Uh, yeah. Well, you know that, you know, the people that, uh, sell the tours, that's what my wife and I do. Oh, all right. We were, we're in a hotel each day. Well, she is, I don't work anymore.
Speaker: But, uh, she's in a hotel each week and she works for Expedia and she's in a hotel each week. Yeah. Next time come down, stay at, uh, hard rock. We were, we were looking at that. Hollywood, Hollywood. Well, we were looking at that. I mean, cause I mean, I wanted to go back to Paradises and then my buddy, he was thinking about Panama, Panama Jack. Uh, not a fan.
Speaker: Well, I mean, you know, it was just something new. The problem with Panama Jack is it's literally a really old hotel. Oh, OK. Yeah. I would stick with, like, Paradis is a nice joint. The Rio's are always nice. I still have my Royal Services band. Yeah, it doesn't work anymore because I changed the color of your tree. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I know. But it was two years ago. One of my favorites is the Knicks.
Speaker: It's more of a... It's over by Plaza Fomingo. Just down from Plaza La Isla, where they have that giant ungodly, unsightly ferris wheel. Which is extremely expensive for a fucking ferris wheel. It's like $14 to ride on a fucking ferris wheel.
Speaker: Damn, that's for locals. That's for locals. That's my price I only I only like I only paid 12 bucks just to ride the ferry going to East of the headest Oh, yeah, the ferry is super cheap. Well, there's tours nice to the best way to go over to Isla Mujeres is on the catamaran because a On the way there you stop and scuba dive. There's open bar after scuba or not scuba diving you snorkel and
Speaker: after the first 45 minutes you snorkel for about 45 minutes then it's open bar on the boat you get to a beach club at the beach club it's all you can eat and your open bar continues then they take you downtown and you can kind of bomb around in Isla Mujeres and then on the way back you can ride the spinnaker which is hilarious when you're drunk
Speaker: I mean, I mean, like that fairy though. I mean, that's a, I mean, it was a, it was a really nice fairy. Um, and then what, by the time we got to East of my head, as we got on the golf, we rented a golf cart and we went to like that. These golf carts are hilarious. They are lifted with quad tires on them.
Speaker: Oh no, I know what you're talking about. They haven't adjusted the motors. They're still flowing. Yeah, we had them all over the place out in Charleston. You were actually allowed to drive those on the main road. Yeah, we went to the Eastland Mujeres Brewery, and I've had the Jamaica Miloco, which is a beer made out of hibiscus. Yeah. Oh, geez. Yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's, you can actually buy - It's straight up legit. They're Jamaican. They're called a Jamaica.
Speaker: Flowers and you can buy them at Walmart and you make like a a humica water Where you boil it and then the excess, but if you let that ferment it becomes like beer Yeah, and and that shit I mean And the cool thing about though like going to Mexico is cheap. I mean my flight was two hundred two hundred eighty dollars round trip coming from Houston and
Speaker: Yeah, so he said Houston the Cancun two -hour non -stop flight for 280 bucks And your hotel the Rio is pretty much the most expensive place and you're looking at what what is it like hundred bucks a night I think we paid let's see. I think I paid like 225 a night I
Speaker: Yeah, but I was outvoted the entire time you're there. Yeah, but I was outvoted. I wanted to try out the Panama Jack, but originally, though, I wanted to go back to the Paradisas. Then I was open to Panama Jack, and I think another one, the Omni, but they already bended the Omni. They bended the Omni, but...
Speaker: uh during spring break stay at the oasis we were looking at that we were looking at the oasis as well this is a shithole it was like 120 party hotel yeah it was like 125 a night yes it's also super cheap but it's a shithole hotel like it's been there it's like i think it's the third king the third hotel ever to be in cancun yeah temptation is really nice it's an adults only
Speaker: resort yo yeah temptations yeah that's over there next to the uh the the mariad or the hilton over there no the mariots it's it's near the hard rock though no no not anymore they've moved it oh it's uh the temptation hotel is where uh blue bay used to be they actually bought blue bay and turn it into temptation and they've improved the hotel immensely well as i was the adult only hotel they probably had to put that bit somewhere secluded
Speaker: No, actually it's literally right across from the church, which I find hilarious. There's a Catholic church in the hotel zone and right across the diagonal from the church.
Speaker: is the temptation, which I find hilarious. And an actual must do. Go ahead. After Friday and Saturday night of debauchery and acting like a hooligan, you got to go across the street and do your repentance and do your Hail Marys and whatnot. Now an absolute must do when going to Cancun, you have to go to Escadet. Spend a day, a whole day on Escadet.
Speaker: Actually, I prefer Shell Ha. Shell Ha? After living here for 20 years. Shell Ha is a natural water park. You basically spend the entire time. It's all you can eat, all you can drink all day where Shell Ha is one time. Our Ishkeret is one time eating. Shell Ha is all you can eat, all you can drink all day. More snorkeling than you shake a stick at. Five different restaurants. However, Ishkeret has the show at night, which is fucking dope. Yes, it is. Yep.
Speaker: the show is.
Speaker: explore because they have the longest and highest zip lines in the line. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Sounds fantastic. Sounds amazing. And here's the best part. Once you start, you can't get off till you finish. They're like piss yourself. Yeah, that's why I'm going to stream. So that's going to stream going down the phone from the sky. But yeah, exactly. I would just whip it out of that boy. And explore that you will get wet because the shell ha
Speaker: The zip line ends in the water. And they guarantee that no matter what you do, you will get wet on the zip line. And this is pretty cool at sunrise. Yeah. This was like at seven in the morning. Oh, wow. Nice calm water, beautiful. But yeah, man, I mean, you just got to check it out, dude.
Speaker: It's worth it. I'll get down there one day eventually. I got to go there and kick Jeff in the deck anyways. Yeah, exactly. And of course, and I mean, I mean, it was really cool, too, because like Escadet, we we were in the shark tank with nurse sharks. Yeah. Yeah, these are sharks that basically, you know, you know, when you go to the dentist office, they have the giant fish tank when the one fish is sucking on the side of the tank. That's basically inertia. Yeah. Yeah. And they're they're fucking massive.
Speaker: I'm not getting in the water with a shark unless it's a great whiter amygdala done. Oh, you can actually swim with sharks. You can swim with sharks at the aquarium. If there's a tour in Shancun, I've done it at least twice in 20 years. I just want to see if you got Boopa Shark in the nose if it really works. Yeah, they put in a glass cage.
Speaker: that sounds real safe we're gonna stick you in this glass cage yeah we're gonna stick you into this as opposed to a steel cage or you know something like that we're just gonna stick you in a glass cage bulletproof polycarbonate cage
Speaker: so with the glass with the shark smashes it not only am I gonna get glass shards all over me which is gonna put blood in the water uh the sharks gonna bite my leg off i mean that i mean that is on my to -do list i want to get in a shark cage and feed a great white that's on my to -do list that's pretty cool yeah at the aquarium i want to do
Speaker: I've done every tour no no in Cancun for free I want to like feed a great white I want to just like hold the fish and then right you get thrown like throw it right at him let him catch No, they put it on a stick. You can actually and the fish is tied to a stick and The the shark will actually break the string that's holding the fish on and he damn near rips the stick out of your hand It's insane. I want to fit it great. I
Speaker: I want to have like claim to say yeah, I was in the water with a great white. I've done it It's creepy and awesome all at the same time because they literally I mean bump up against the cage the whole time you're like Jesus
Speaker: Yeah, down in Beaumont, I mean, I've been, I've been like in a, I've been in a pond with a bunch of crocodile with a bunch of alligators. So I mean, I'm like, I'm in a boat and the guys like, yeah, you just hand them out and all these, all these like 1520 gators just swimming right at you like feed me, feed me. Yeah. That was like,
Speaker: That was crazy. I've never had an encounter with a gator at a park, but I have had encounters with gators in real life. We used to have them down in Charleston and we had a pond behind my house, so we'd see them out there all the time. Yeah. They never really paid much attention to us, so they didn't, for the most part, surprisingly for being a
Speaker: full -size living, breathing dinosaur. I guess, from my understanding, they're pretty timid and pretty docile. They are only aggressive during mating season. So most of the time they could give two shits less that you're around. And I know, I mean, I almost stepped on one one day at a plantation and it was a big one. I was like, if I had stepped on my damn thing, he'd have eaten me alive.
Speaker: But he didn't even flinch even when my idiot friend threw a stick at him. I'm like, why are you throwing sticks at an alligator that I'm listening a foot from? Yeah. Yeah. That's the thing. Like the only time they would ever follow you, like if you're in the water, like on a boat or whatever and they follow you as if they're hungry. But most of the time, like they're, they're like, man, just I'm on my bed. You do you, I do me.
Speaker: And more than likely, I feel like at those parks, they've already trained that when they see people and whatnot, they already know they're going to be, you know, they're not, they're going to be getting fed. It's not necessarily trained, but they know it's a habit. They're like, Oh, there's a boat full of people. They're going to feed us. So then they're going to swim up to the boat and be like, Hey, what's up guys? They don't feed us. We'll eat them. Yeah. Yeah. They can feed us willingly or we're going to take that shit. What's up, Tony D.
Speaker: What's going on Tony? But uh, but I mean like probably like the next time I go to Cancun I want to go snorkeling out there Send me an email non -social non -social podcast at gmail .com and I can hook you up Yeah For all that shit, I I have as well. I just have to actually make two calls to do it, but Actually straight through my life
Speaker: And also, too, another another reason why to come to Mexico. Media tacos. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Oh, man. Total game changer. Actually, no, there's a there's a. When you were here over by. Coco Bongo and all that shit, there's a. There's a place called. Fuck, what's it called? Las Quecas and they make quesadillas.
Speaker: That's like saying the burger I made here at my house is McDonald's or In -N -Out
Speaker: Yeah, exactly. You know, I've never had it in and out, but I feel like with all the hype and everything like that, I would probably be extremely disappointed. Yeah, I feel the same way about that and Waterburger. Oh, I love Waterburger. I've never had it. No, but I'm saying I've never had it. So I'm afraid if I eat it, the hype will just be like, Oh, you know what? It's not as good as everybody said.
Speaker: Yeah, that's, I think that's what, uh, what the hell. Yeah, it's, it's, yeah, because, because like mainly, mainly in Texas, you know, water burger is pretty much like law. And, uh, and now in and out, there's like maybe two locations in Houston, um, for in and out. And everybody's like doing the whole comparison, like, Oh, well in and out's better. And I'm like, man, get your liberal California ass out of here.
Speaker: tell my crispy cream yeah we're like man we're all about shiplies donuts down here we don't care about no damn crispy scream get your liberal out easy on the easy other crispy cream now that's that's we're all we're all about crispy cream in Cancun
Speaker: Krispy Kreme was blessed by the hand of God. He reached down from the heavens and blessed every donut. And they are amazing at Krispy Kreme. Glick's voice helps ease my poop. Nice. I'm glad I can make your poop better. At least we're here for something. I hear. But she don't have to grab the rail. I was going to say she don't have to grab the rail or grab her ankles.
Speaker: now it's just a little nice little even nice little even flow and just comes out all naturally and shouldn't have to worry about anything what is going on with this thing i've fucked everything up over here but i do hate to interrupt your guys's psa for tour mexico come to cancoon but um is he one half i do i do
Speaker: Yeah, right. Yeah. Maybe we'll get sponsored by the Cancun Tourist Board. Well, maybe after you guys' amazing review. But I don't want pizzos. So I get paid pizzos. After every tour, you get an order of birria tacos and sopessole or manudo. Not a huge fan of manudo. My wife makes amazing pizzos. I was never a big fan of manudos music.
Speaker: That's a fail. I know. It was crickets. It was out there. I couldn't help myself. I couldn't think of what's... Ricky Martin. I couldn't think of the guy's name. Epic fail, man. It happens. They can all be winners, all right? Sometimes. We'll give you a pass. Casey Tiger says, what? Manudo rocks.
Speaker: Casey shows up, he's got my bag. Tony's like, they had it Chris Saturday morning cartoon. Anyways, I do have a, I do have a couple stories here. Brian, you're more than welcome to hang out for what the fuck news if you'd like. Sure. Yeah. Before we, before we wrap the show up, I almost forgot we were doing a podcast, but we are doing a podcast. Pretty much, pretty much every day is a what the fuck news.
Speaker: okay pretty much pretty much yeah that's that's that's no joke shut up you little kid but uh trigger warning just in case anybody is easily offended by a certain man's voice yeah oh that's not it that's jeff's voice everybody's triggered by jeff's voice yeah i triggered can you get that one out of there that's my trick that i said it's gonna just
Speaker: I don't broke the comments that is uh that is pops is um yeah that was that's pop intro first top 10
Speaker: Listen to this listen to this. Okay, listen Because believe it or not, this is we try to run this like a function a functional podcast so we have sound We have sound boards and noises and and all that fun jazz intro Jeff I have to build more interest Yeah, Jeff, did you get pop or not pops? Did you get Bob out on the work? He's at the plane and the bus is right next to it. I
Speaker: and he's got Kevin's a router. Yeah, he's got Kevin's router. He's got he's got fish sticks and pasta and he's ready to rock. All right. Well, we're going to first stop of the night. We're going to Thailand. Oh, jump on the motherland. Well, on my mom's side, I was going to say, wait, wait. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker: Yeah, military byproduct. Military byproduct here, yeah. My dad's an Air Force vet. Oh nice, nice. Got himself a wifey out in Thailand, huh? Yeah, he was like, well, I don't know what it is about me. I said, dad, you're a man in uniform and she wanted to get the hell out. Yeah, I'm out of that. Well, we're going to tell you a story about Thailand that hopefully makes your mom proud.
Speaker: go for it says man put his penis into a tube to see if his penis enlargement had worked and he got it stuck I can't make this shit up and sadly out of Thailand there's a lot of stories like this
Speaker: And I always forget to book them up and anything like that. Who got it too? There's a random pipe on the ground and he's like, I'm going to stick my dick in this. It's a PVC tube. I'll get there, Jeff. Jesus Christ. Again, this is like watching a movie with my kids. You're like watching a movie with my kids. We'll get there. Calm down. We're all watching it at the same time. All right. Well, this is the questions that pop in my head right away.
Speaker: these have there have been stories aplenty from Thailand where people have stuck their junk in nuts like uh like that you tighten things down with uh pipes two liter bottles whatever if they can stick it in there they stick it in there nine times out of ten it gets stuck but uh this is they uh they say dick in a nozzle of a two liter bottle you got a really small dick
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you know, it happens. Don't judge as I look at my three liter bottle. I mean, what are you doing here? As I look at this, like that. Yeah. Not all of us. Not all of us were blessed with that.
Speaker: the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the
Speaker: Damn. Story says they say be careful what you wish for and one man in Thailand knows this all too well after getting his penis trapped in a tube following an enlargement procedure. The man in his 20s rammed his manhood into a one inch wide gray PVC used on kitchen sinks while pleasuring himself at home in Bangkok. Yes, I did not make that up. He was in Bangkok.
Speaker: Yes. Calm down, Jeff. I know you want to say something. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah. Bangkok. Yeah. Bangkok is the capital of Thailand. Yeah. That was the joke. He had a grade school. What's capital back? Yeah. Fine. Yeah. He fucked it up. Bangkok. He said, it says he had recently paid for a penis enlargement injections. I didn't even know that was a thing.
Speaker: that's right
Speaker: Yeah. Oh, you can say Dick. I mean, if it works, don't hold back. Jeff yells at me when I use clinical terms. It is a, it is a medical, it is a medical medication to help enlarge the member of the male species. The penal, the penal gland.
Speaker: Which will circulate and circumcise the male erection. Yeah, right. If it works, I'll doubt. Honey, I know what Christmas. What are we doing tonight, Bray? Trying the penis enlargement. But I said he recently paid for his penis enlargement in Jackson's and wanted to see if they had worked.
Speaker: And indeed they had so much so that the man's penis got stuck and begin to rapidly swell. The man was forced to call medics to help him get out of the sticky situation. But when they arrived at his apartment, they said they could not cut away the pipe. The medics took him to the hospital where they called. Now, this is the thing that kills me about this story. This is how often it happens in Thailand.
Speaker: They took him to a hospital where they called in a team that specializes in similar incidences. They're like, don't worry, Bob, you're not the first one. He won't be the last. The volunteer firemen, and this is the last people I want trying to remove a pipe from my pecker are volunteer firemen. But they use pliers, a circular cutter, and a tube of lubricating gel to begin freeing the man's shaft.
Speaker: It took more than 20 minutes. It was so tightly stuck inside the narrow tube. The rescuers had to insert a protective sheet in between the pipe and the man's penis, just to keep the pliers from cutting into the man's flesh. Yeah, nope. I'll wait. I'll go get an ice car. Yeah, I'm going to go watch baseball and see if this will go away. Yeah, I will watch baseball for days. I'm like, I'll deal.
Speaker: I'm not gonna A, let anybody know B, you're not coming anywhere near me. Or just watch Rosie O 'Donnell naked. That would do it instantly. Or Betty White. Yeah, I just paid all this money to get penis enlargement and now I just broke it. I'm better off with the mic. He said that he told medics before the bizarre sex act that he had recently undergone a controversial
Speaker: enough penis enlargement procedure with filler injections into his gland. The man who has not been named is said to have told them he wouldn't have had this problem if he hadn't had the enlargement injections, which leads me to believe that this pipe was his random toy of choice that he kept under his bed. Yeah, not because it sounds like he's done it several times. The fact that it's one inch diameter,
Speaker: And that's external diameter, by the way. So, not my toy of choice. It would literally be like, I have a four inch thick pipe. So pretty much that's like his amateur making of the flesh rocket. Yeah, the flesh light. He was too cheap to go buy a flesh light.
Speaker: So instead he got penis enlargement surgery or enhancement pills, whatever shocks, shots, injections, and just stuck with a PVC pipe that he had. Yikes. Yeah. If you've ever worked with PVC, it doesn't look like it would be comfortable. No. I mean, there's a lot of static cling on that shit too. I'm sure he's shocked a couple of times.
Speaker: Uh, he, the, the man who got his penis stuck said I'm annoyed because I spent a lot of money on that medical bills as well. I spent a lot of money on the injection piece of pipe. Damn it. Oh, no, not the bike, the injections. Medical bills, medical bills. Uh, the rest, uh, rescue team members said that, uh, that apart from its size, his penis is size, the man's penis swelled every time it was touched.
Speaker: which made the pipe removal more difficult. After the grueling ordeal, the team finally managed to break the plastic object. The young man was left in the hospital for further medical treatment. He needs to go to a psych ward. Yeah, well, people see pipe doesn't break very easily. No. And as of right now, it's unbreaking shatters. Yeah. And as of right now, it's unclear if his pecker will ever work properly again after the procedure.
Speaker: So spend the extra 12 bucks on Amazon. I'm sorry. I mean, there's a lot of prostitution in Thailand though. So he'll be fine. Yeah. If you go and pay for the penis enlargement surgery and you want to see if it worked.
Speaker: There's this thing called, no, it's an incredible invention called a tape measure. And if you want to check the girth, well then they have those, those Taylor tapes that like the suit makers and stuff use. Yeah. And you can go around it. You can check the girth and the lint and those tapes are like 50 cents. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: And on top of that, you just measure it every couple of days. Oh yeah, it is getting bigger. I'll be damn. Yeah. Or just pay the money for a prostitute and check it out. Yeah, I have her measurement. It sounds like this shit works because obviously every time he touched it, it got bigger, which would be a problem for me because I'd be touching it all the time. I'm like, look at this. Look at this. I'm like, look, it gets bigger. Touch it.
Speaker: And then you'd be like, it's gone. Yeah, I just, I don't see my forbidden dance. Oosh, oosh. Yeah. Wow. I mean, there are so many ways. The fact that he got it stuck in a one inch PVC pipe, I would not leave my apartment until I got it out myself because
Speaker: Wanna talk about embarrassing. I'd at least want a two inch pipe. I would have slid a two inch pipe over top of the one inch and be like, look, see that? Told you. Or just keep touching it and maybe the pipe will explode.
Speaker: Well, well, sir, the good news is the two inch pipe came right off. But underneath it was this one inch pipe. I'm not that good there. Yeah. That seems to be where the, yeah, that's where the real problem.
Speaker: Oh my God. Yeah. You have to be, as Casey said, you have to be consistent with your, uh, well, fair enough. Casey Casey says you need to be consistent with your reference point for measuring. So, okay. Well, if that two buses was his, uh, previous reference point. Sounds like somebody needs an upgrade. Yeah, man. I just.
Speaker: I bet you anything, he'll never buy a piece of PVC again. He'll be like, you know what? I'll spend the $20 on the fleshling. Or get a prostitute or a tranny. There you go. Mm -hmm. Go get one of them lady boys. Yeah.
Speaker: And then y 'all can have a sword fight and see who wins. If you're a Star Wars fan, get you some glow in the dark condoms.
Speaker: before Jeff does something we all regret. We're just gonna fly around in nonsensical nonsense one because this next story doesn't really tell me where it comes from. Yeah, we're just gonna hang out. All right. But I feel like I need to go buy these sheets because of summer.
Speaker: There's a company who just, and they're doing these for hotels, who have created a new sheet for beds. It's an anti -flatulence bedding filters. It filters away fart smells. That's called a rubber sheet. No, rubber sheets are good for something else.
Speaker: But, um, yeah, so, uh, Shreddy's the brand behind the underwear. So they've already, they've already got anti -flatulent underwear have announced that the innovative bedding that contains carbon panels that trap Poggie. This sounds like it comes out of England. Yeah. Poggie parps and help those with excessive farts to sleep.
Speaker: Does anybody know what a faulty car is? That's gotta be, that's gotta be. Probably like the little, like. Is that like shit debris? Yeah, that's definitely one. We'll just dumb it down for the idiots that host the show. Oh, it's their shit debris. The company says that the flatulent filtering duvet cover traps gas before it escapes the duvet and makes its way to someone's nostril.
Speaker: a spokesperson for the company said, both products use the same technology found in our award -winning underwear. The highly forced carbon acts as an absorbent, which attracts and traps flatulent odors as they put it. And is simply reactivated when washed.
Speaker: So does the underneath, does it just like nature? So it traps it, so then does your mattress smell like ass? Well, carbon, carbon. Yeah, I was going to say, carbon absorbs it. But I mean, eventually it just has to wash the sheet. So it's reactivated when washed. So I'm imagining pulling the sheet off of your bed and then just getting blasted by two weeks worth of water. But it's reactivated after being washed. You're also with Dutch oven. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: the the
Speaker: Well, I'm just saying, stop eating gassy food, fatty. Take it easy on the Taco Bell. Sometimes you want authentic Mexican food at two o 'clock in the morning, so you got a Taco Bell. It's not authentic. It's so authentic.
Speaker: Okay, okay, okay, okay, but in your in your but to your defense though I can understand because Growing up where I lived up I lived in the hood and the only thing I thought was rolled Mexican food was Taco Bell and then it went to like around 90 or 91 and
Speaker: the the
Speaker: Until I went to my parents split because we like down in Houston, every other block is a Tex -Mex taqueria type of joint. Yeah. So, so one of my other best friends introduced me to a taqueria where I learned about horchata, pico de gallo, all these other stuff ever since then. He's like, this is real Mexican food. Not he's like taco bells for, for like fake ass white people. That's what he was saying. Well, no, but, but it's not a real taco unless it burns on both ways.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. It's got to burn your mouth and then burn your ass when you shit. Have you never eaten Taco Bell? No, no, no. The hot sauce, the hot sauce that literally steams as it comes out of the bottle. I mean, I don't know. We'll see shit. I'm I'm I'm disappointed with Taco Bell ever since they did away with the Mexican pizza because that's my go to. I lost Taco Bell when I got rid of the chalupa.
Speaker: I got pissed off at Taco Bell when they got rid of that cheesy potato burrito thing.
Speaker: And I was a Taco Bell here, I'd go. But my wife would give me sheep the entire time. This isn't real Taco Bell. I call Taco Bell real authentic Mexican, just to get a rise out of Jeff. Because we have a family owned restaurants up here that are 50 or 60 years old. And the original, the people who started the restaurants,
Speaker: Came in pressure like they were. Their kids were 1st generation Mexican Americans, so it's it's real and and then as I've told Jeff before I used to work security years ago at an apartment complex and we called the front of it little Mexico because. There was.
Speaker: like 14 buildings up there and they were all full of, uh, with Mexicans and like seven of the buildings were one family. And, um, every day when my partner and I came in, we worked second shift. So every day when we came in, they brought us lunch and then at, at dinnertime, they would bring us dinner to the office and it doesn't get any more authentic or any more real than, you know, then then booking it. Yeah, exactly. And then you know, you get the real goodness.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah. But yeah, I mean, but yeah, but Taco Bell, man, ever since they did away with the Mexican pizza and the Cool Ranch Taco Supreme, I'm like, man, I was like, I'm done with y 'all. They kind of shit on their menu a lot. There was a lot of things that I used to really like this out on the moon. I still get her Taco Bell, you know.
Speaker: every couple of weeks or once every other week or whatever. I've made the claim multiple times that they open a taco bell here in Mexico. It would do really well. But my wife assures me it wouldn't. I'm like, I don't know. There's a lot of Americans that come to Cancun. Yeah, no way. You put in hotels on the right spot. Yeah, but yeah, but I mean, coming to Mexico, they want the authentic Mexican food. So yeah, if they want tacos. Yeah. They'll go with pita. People like you, people like you come down here and say, I want to, you know,
Speaker: typical real Mexican tacos. But then you got people like Chris would come down and be like, fuck that. If it's not American, I don't want it.
Speaker: Yeah. Well, now I wouldn't go. Come on now. I mean, dude, I mean, I love, I love, I love like that. Conchita's people, video, Baba, El Pastor. I had probably, I love fuck. I mean, I love the taco trucks, man. The guys that the taco truck, they have taco carts on like every, every, like two blocks or in downtown, which is where I live. Of course. Uh, I, I, I am literally what? 45 minutes from the hotel zone.
Speaker: So within, granted, the area I live in is a new area. It's only been around for about four years. But if I literally walk, what, three blocks towards the store that I go to, there is five different Mexican taco joints. Yeah. Jesus. Yeah, we're finished. Yeah, so like Chris, do you have Netflix? Oh, yeah.
Speaker: Okay. So look up on Netflix. It's called the taco cross. Yes. That shit's awesome. I watched it. It will cover like tacos from all over backstories, everything. That episode on coach Anita made me go by coach.
Speaker: Oh, man. I literally showed my wife. That's that's that's that's the problem. If I come down to Mexico, I don't know how to say what anything is, let alone know what anything is or just be like, hey, bring me something delicious. Kachito. Kachito pee pee pee bile pee Nile.
Speaker: Yup. Don't bring me no penises. We like can't cheat that's pee -bitty pee -bitty. Oh no when I go when I go to the restaurant up here and I'll go to order something and it's funny because the family's fantastic. I mean it ain't been in business for so long. The family's fun and everybody that works in the restaurant is all part of the family but when you when I go I'll go in there and try to order something and
Speaker: depending upon, you know, the waiter or waitress or whatever, whoever's there, they correct me. I'm like, yeah, I don't care. Just bring it to me. And they're like, no, you have to say it right. You have to say it right. And then I'm like, I don't want to say it right. I just want to eat it. Yeah. Just be like, look, I want Babacoa tacos. Pico de gallo y avocado. Yeah. Actually, I'm not, uh, one of the best things you can eat in Mexico in the morning. Okay. Cochinita tortas with ice cold Coke.
Speaker: There is nothing better. And for lunch, I like barber co -op. We went yesterday and got a quarter kilo for me and my son. And my wife and daughter had... What's that soup? It's not actually soup, it's... She's fallen asleep.
Speaker: go violently, shake her. What would I'm talking to you? What if I could... But the place we go, it's literally right across from Home Depot. So I'm like, we need to go to Home Depot. She's like, no. I was like, what? There's tacos over there with good tacos. So that's how I end up getting into Home Depot. Like, while we're here, we can go Home Depot.
Speaker: Yeah, then bit. Yeah, video tacos is like a total game changer first. Well, the tortilla is alone. The corn tortilla is alone. Just blow everything else that you would have in the states out of the water. Yeah. And I don't even like one. I like a flower. I mean, I mean, because I get. Yeah, because I mean, because like I'll go to the taco truck, I'll get the barbacoa, the El Pastor and then I love pastor. Yeah. Literally, I can eat pastor morning, noon and night.
Speaker: Yeah, pastor is awesome. There's a guy there's a guy that in the neighborhood, my wife and I used to go to his restaurant daily because he would have two for one tacos a pastor, five pesos apiece, which is like a quarter. Yeah, I mean, I were 10 for 20. Yeah, right around like five bucks.
Speaker: Yeah. Where I live, we have like the house of tacos and those ladies throw down, but I mean, I would, they have awesome food. I just wish to start bringing in, uh, video. Yeah. Video rules. Video is just a total game changer. But however, though we do also to what's cool, what I love about Houston, it's like we're very multicultural. So we also have, uh, Venezuelan and Colombian food as well. And dude, I'm addicted to a rapist man.
Speaker: There's, there's a good, you should not be raping people. Despite what R. Kelly says, it is not okay to rape. R. Kelly is not a role model. Do not listen to what R. Kelly says.
Speaker: Rape is not, rape is no bueno, mi amigo. Okay. No, no. So, so Orapas, Orapas is like a Venezuelan Colombian type of sandwich. So instead of buns, it's made out of cornmeal. Right. And they have like a certain type of cheese, but man, it is fucking vanilla cheese. Oh, wow.
Speaker: Yeah. So like a like a cornbread instead of a. Yeah. Yeah. More or less corn. But it's like it's like deep fried. It's yeah. It's not as fluffy as as cornbread. And right when you bite into it. Yeah. They're right when you bite into it dude. You hear that crunch and then all of a sudden just like an explosion. Flavor explodes in your mouth. Yeah. It's awesome.
Speaker: Speaking of speaking of putting the shit in your stomachs Putting stuff down your gullet. We got one more real quick story before we wrap this show up tonight boys. Yeah Tell Bob we're going to Egypt We're not taking the bus today We didn't need the bus today. There's a full tank of diesel for no reason
Speaker: Well, we can use it Saturday. It's okay. Bob's a son of a bitch. Anyways, a man lived with a phone in his stomach for several months. A man in Egypt lived with a phone lodged in his stomach for several months that needed to be surgically removed by doctors.
Speaker: The, excuse me, the unnamed male traveled to Aswan University Hospital in Egypt, where he was treated by doctors for intestinal and abdominal infections. However, an x -ray showed that a phone was trapped inside his stomach and was the cause of his discomfort.
Speaker: I guarantee you the man admitted that he had swallowed the device several months ago, but was too embarrassed to admit to himself or admit himself to a hospital and hope that it would pass naturally. I was going to say, how do you forget swallowing a phone? Why would you?
Speaker: because his wife wanted to read his phone text. He's like, nope. And besides, how is it that you cannot choke on it? Well, that's, that's gotta be one of those little Nokia ones. Remember the old Nokia bricks that like, like you've seen videos on YouTube where, where people put them in, in, uh, presses, like these 10 ton presses and press breaks. Phone still works.
Speaker: Yeah, it's, it's 2021. You know, the things that don't make no sense at the end of the day. Makes sense. Damn this COVID. Yeah. It's making everybody, making everybody. He said, uh, medics decided to perform surgery on the man to remove the phone from his body. Mohammed L that.
Speaker: sorry, Mohammed, I fucked up your name. It's Bob's. Why is this your name? Smith. Why is this your name? Mike Smith.
Speaker: He hired Bob. The chairman of the board of directors at S1 University Hospital said that it was the first time that they had ever seen a case where a patient had swallowed an entire phone. Fortunately, for the man who decided to eat his phone, he is expected to make a full recovery and go on.
Speaker: I guess living his life as normal as you can after swallowing a phone. Again. He dines out on that for free every time. Yeah. So you guys want a story? Take me to dinner. I'll tell you a story. Yeah. Much like the guy who decided to measure his penis with a PVC pipe, maybe they would be better off in an asylum. No kidding. Maybe in 2021, it's time that we bring back the old school asylums.
Speaker: I'm just, I'm just, I'm just like picturing it in my head. It's like, okay, months, he's eating food. He's able to shit normally, but yet the phone's still stuck. Well, I'm not even looking at that. I'm looking at my phone right now. And there is absolutely no way in hell that I could swallow my phone. Well, yeah, like that's why, that's why it's got to be one of those Nokia's that text by hitting
Speaker: you know, two, four times to get the letter D. You know, so yeah, it's gonna be one of those Nokia's that are literally. But even my old ass Samsung 7 that I use for, you know, that I can only use on Wi -Fi that I still have.
Speaker: It's not a very big phone, but I'm looking at it and I'm like. That's what I'm talking about. It's the, it's the screen is like an inch by inch. Oh yeah. No, I mean, I mean, I had a, I had an audio box phone that was like this. So yeah, but still though, how can you get a lot of, that's a lot of getting stuck. How do you not choke?
Speaker: Let me see your phone he's like no I mean the only way that was possible is if he had a lot of practice with
Speaker: Yeah, maybe he's a sword swallower. Yeah, maybe he's living a secret life that nobody wants him to know. Yeah, maybe him and old boy in Thailand were friends and he was like, Hey, can I borrow your cockpit so I can shove this down my throat?
Speaker: Yeah, like, I'm pretty sure those Nokia's were, were an inch and a half across and maybe four or five inches long. Yeah, but still an inch and a half wide. Could you, could you, well, nevermind. I, you were an advanced gym. You took Tokyo drift on that old dude with the 90 degree back. So Lord knows you can swallow something.
Speaker: But but what's really crazy I mean that's hard plastic it's not yielded even as if this dude was a cock smoker It's unyieldy
Speaker: Well, yeah, I, I would, I would like to talk to this man and be like, show us, show us Bob was locked down that bad. But yeah. So how did your lockdown go? Well, I got penis enlargement and I stuck it in a pipe and I swallowed a phone. So, but I guarantee you had to do something. He's trying to hide something.
Speaker: And I'm sorry, the first thing I would have done is like call my phone. No, I mean, I mean, I mean, it's just, it's no, it's crazy because a lot of people, I mean, this is kind of like that, um, that HBO real sex, you know, how they always have weird shit going on. I mean, I mean, like my medical field, when I used to work in an ER and I heard a story from one of the nurses, she said that how in the hell
Speaker: Would you clean? Uh, she said, why in the hell would anybody clean the garage late at night? Naked. The guy was on a step ladder and somehow lost his balance and somehow pinpoint accuracy land on the Gatorade bottle. Yeah, I've seen that video. I did not pay for this circus LA. Yeah. What? Yeah. But what guy?
Speaker: would clean his garage naked late at night. No, that's the story he told. He was literally - I know. Someone already showed this video. Well, because there's, I don't know if you've heard that TikTok video, but there's that TikTok video. It's like the human asshole can, what is it? A raccoon can fit in a hole the size of six inches, but the human asshole can stretch seven inches before causing damage. And I'm like - I don't think you and I are on the same TikTok algorithm.
Speaker: I mean, I mean, you know, I mean, look, why can't why can't people just mess up to say, hey, look, I was feeling a little kinky. I was feeling kinky. And I saw this on a porno. So I figured, hey, let me try it. Yeah. But at the same time, if you shove the Gatorade bottle up your ass,
Speaker: and had to go to the hospital, would you go, hey, you know, I was bored and I saw a TikTok video and I wanted to test the theory. That's the point. He was like, why can't you be honest? We know, we know you didn't fall on that because you're naked in the garage, you know.
Speaker: We're not fucking retarded. We have medical degrees, dummy. I like Brian. Brian's reasoning over here. Kobe's a son of a bitch. Yeah, lock down. Kobe's been hell. You know? I had Kobe's. It ain't that bad.
Speaker: I have successfully made it through the lockdowns and COVID not that I've had COVID, but everything else going on without shoving random. I've never looked at a beer bottle and go down here. Like they want, they want to, they wanted to enforce lockdown and everybody's like, shut up. We're like, we're going back to our normal lives in Texas. We're like, yeah, I'm good luck with that.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. That's the thing. Yeah. Cause we're like, we got the mayor going, stay in your homes for the safety of everybody. Like, look, man, it ain't happening. We got more guns than you. Yeah. Yeah. We outnumber y 'all.
Speaker: Well, it was kind of like in Ohio, our governor, Daddy DeWine up here basically grounded all of us because we didn't know how to behave. And the response, the response from Ohio, like restaurant owners and the liquor stores were like, Oh, they can't come to us. Don't worry. We'll deliver to you. And
Speaker: like i've told the story i've told jeff several times there's a pizza shop around the corner from me that once i discovered that they would deliver beer they became my best friends i've called them fuckers like seven uh bring me 24 beers oh yeah and bring me a pizza too yeah it's seven o 'clock on a sunday and i've been watching i've been watching football all day and i'm drunk as shit and i still want to drink
Speaker: I'm out of beer. Oh, I'm gonna call Donna and Suze. Hey, can I get a case of Budweiser? They're like, hey, do you want anything to eat? Well, actually, now that you've mentioned it, yeah, can I get a... We locked down here for two months. Literally, everything is open now. Nothing is closed. Everything has opened up here. No, but I mean...
Speaker: A lot of the problems in California and shit like that is like people lost their businesses because of the lockdowns. Well, a lot of people lost any business out here because we were all just like, we're still going to go out. Yeah. Well, a lot of places all over the country up here, lost businesses and had to close down. And a lot of it, it's not even so much from the lockdown. It's kind of become a, um,
Speaker: a trickle -down effect because now nobody wants to work because of all the money that they're getting off of unemployment. So nobody wants to work.
Speaker: I mean, yeah, trust me. I know. I mean, my gas station, that my favorite place in the world that right, right basically across the street from my house, they're open 24 seven. And for a couple months, they had to shorten their hours where, um, they opened at like eight o 'clock or seven o 'clock in the morning. And then they closed at like 10 o 'clock night because they didn't have the people to, uh, to, uh, staff it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it all comes down to, uh, like
Speaker: Not to get political, but if I offer you $70 an hour to work or $16 an hour to stay home and watch Netflix all day, you know. Well, as one of my favorite radio shows that I listen to every day, their producer does a guy, the doc guy, and he's
Speaker: air conditioner salesman that works on the docs that gives unsolicited political advice. It's a voice or character that he does. He says, every time they break you up, he's like, we got a guy in office that are paying people to stay home. So, you know, it's not to get political, but you know, it's silly, but you know, it's dumb.
Speaker: or you could be a greeter or Walmart. Exactly. You know, I mean, there's always a loophole. You can definitely be a greeter or Walmart without licks. You cannot be a receipt Nazi, but you can be a greeter.
Speaker: it's silly but unfortunately it is what it is
Speaker: the the the the the the the
Speaker: And, um, but, but also too, I mean, but also too, I mean, look at the, look at the joke that we have to look that way to listen to every damn day. Come on, man. Yeah.
Speaker: don't get me started. This is not a political pocket. You don't play this game because Jeff can play this game all day. I can sit on, I can sit all day. You're a black conference pony soldier. You said you were, but now you gotta be honest. I'm gonna be honest with you.
Speaker: , and
Speaker: I want to say Finland, I could be wrong, but Finland has no minimum wage and they're killing us. Everybody's employed. I mean, you could literally pay your employees a dollar an hour if you want, but when you go for a job, you actually negotiate. You say, okay, what are you going to pay me now? They're like, we'll give you a dollar. I'm like, fuck you. I want 10. You're like, okay, you're worth it. And the problem with minimum wage comes down to
Speaker: If there is a kid at McDonald's making $23 an hour, then the CEO needs to be getting paid, you know, $700 an hour. And then you get inflation and all that shit. And that's like Chris was complaining, not Chris, but Joe was complaining the other day about the price of gas. You guys are playing what? $3 per gallon? $2 .55 for regular. Chris, what are you playing?
Speaker: Uh, three 33 35. I paid $2 a liter. There's four liters in a gallon, sir. Wow. Yeah, it is. It's, it's, it's, it's like a a dollar 80 a legal as the cheapest place I saw downtown here. Wow. So, and that's been like that since the goat.
Speaker: Because some asshole in Mexico got the bright idea to sell the rights to the oil Yeah, because Mexican gas stations used to be a government entity they were all one company now, there's 14 different companies and You know all that fun shit when when I first moved here 20 years ago I paid 25 cents a liter
Speaker: So I was paying a dollar a gallon in 2001. And up until three years ago, it shot up overnight to almost $2 a gallon, $2 a liter. Yeah. I mean, which will make sense. Why? Like, cause I mean, I did see a lot in Mexico and then while in London as well.
Speaker: and India and all of Asia because prices are so high, everybody has like best way to get around is on a scooter. Yeah, well. Motorcycle or a scooter. Well, the last time you were on here, what did you pay on the bus? The bus that goes through the Tesla. I paid a dollar.
Speaker: Yeah, well, it's actually a lot less than that, but you're getting screwed. Uh, it's, uh, when I first moved here, when I first moved here, it was five pesos. So about 50 cents. Uh, this is, this is all I got left. I got, that's all I have left from my travel. When was the last time you were here? What is that? Back in August, August back in August. Yeah.
Speaker: 250 pesos is literally like 12 bucks Yeah, it's 1950 For every dollar 19 and a half pesos for every dollar It was what the exchange rate was at Starbucks now see that's one of the old 200s and one of the new well one of the old 50s the new and the new 20s are awesome They're no longer blue and the new 500s are blue. It's creepy. I
Speaker: and it's just kind of weird man just like the texture of it just feels like plastic it's really it's actually blown plastic I actually watched a documentary on how they make it it's fucking insane they do a lot blow a giant bubble that is 12 stories high feels like parchment paper
Speaker: or give the 200 yeah the 200 is but the new 200s of plastic like this one this one here just feels like this is definitely plastic yeah the 50 the 50 pesos yeah yeah this is definitely like plastic but this one feels like parchment paper yeah well that's one of the old the old 200s the they have all new designs on all the cash but the coins crack me up the Chris how many times you try to use a magnet to pick up coins
Speaker: I've never used a magnet to pick up points. Exactly. Because US coins are non -magnetic. The coins here, I can drag a magnet down the beach and make like 300 pesos. Because all the coins are magnetic. I've never even, that thought's never crossed my mind. And I know I have a British pound somewhere around here.
Speaker: I have a I have a loony. I have a British bound. I have a I have a cougar ant someone They're legal Yeah, it's kind of weird too like in Cancun in order to use a restroom I had to pay like 50 pesos. Yeah, depending on where you go. Yeah, yeah Ouch, not 50 pesos, but it was five pesos
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. I had to pay pesos to use the public restroom. And I was like, man, it's so weird to me because like going to London, you had to pay like 50 cents to use the toilet, the public toilet in London. Yeah. If you go to a certain public areas, the funny thing is the people that charge you, they don't own that bathroom. They just kind of took over that bathroom.
Speaker: It's completely not really illegal. It's extortion. It's extortion, basically. But the first time I had... That's some bullshit. It's fucking retarded. But it's not like you go into a restaurant and you have to pay it. It's literally public restrooms or at the ADO bus stop and stuff like that. Yeah. So yeah, the one I paid for was when going to the... like getting on to the ferry to go to East Lamehadez. It was right next to a little cantina.
Speaker: yeah well uh a friend of mine his his aunt took over one of those bathrooms and she makes like like almost a hundred bucks a day and extortion oh it's genius and the only thing she does is buy toilet paper and then like here you go like because when you go in there if you go in there without pan there is no toilet paper in there
Speaker: So you're like, Oh shit. I guess I'll use my hand. Well, I figured, I figured I got away with it because a I blended in or B they sense that I was half white. Yeah. Well, the disadvantage of white privilege, maybe the disadvantage of being white down here. Oh my gosh. They see me coming 20 years. And I still occasionally get taken where they're like, Oh, that's going to cause
Speaker: Uh, 70 pesos. My wife's like, huh, no, it's more like five pesos motherfucker. And like, Oh, you're married to a Mexican woman. Yeah, that's right. Bitch. Yeah. And we live here. Yeah. Uh, I, I literally have to show my, my permanent residency card. Like, dude, I live here. I'm not stupid. I'm not some fucking tourist. Why do you think I'm in the middle of fucking nowhere? I'm the widest thing for like 60 blocks where I am right now.
Speaker: Yeah, man, Chris, you got, you got, Chris, you gotta get yourself a passport and come on down to Mexico. I'm American. I don't need no passport. I'll do whatever the hell I want. I'll invade Mexico much like I didn't tell Canada. I slept the shit out there. I'll tell him I'll do the same thing to Mexico. And just watch.
Speaker: The fact that the whole open bar thing would blow Chris's mind Well, that's what I want to do is is the open bar because you're telling me I can drop 20 bucks 25 bucks Resorts is literally from the time you walk in there hand you a mimosa when you get there and then yeah Fuck out it's all you can drink
Speaker: Yeah, I don't drink anything fancy. So I'm good with beer the whole time. So there's going to be a new rule in Cancun after I leave. There's going to be no more open water. I mean, I brought $250 and just ones and fives just mainly for tips. I don't tip. I do. You're a terrible human being, Jeff. Yeah. I know the sequence ends out at Cancun though.
Speaker: I don't, I haven't paid for a drink in a bar in 10 years. More than that. I mean, I mean, because I know everybody.
Speaker: I mean, like the first time I went, I didn't even know. I mean, I'm just thinking, you know, typical American and I tipped the guy five bucks. He's like, Oh, he was like, yeah. He's like anything you need. I got you. I got you. I said, yeah, I'll take another round. I'll take another Mojito. Yeah. I'll triple the shot. Triple. Okay.
Speaker: Yeah, five bojitos later dude I was zombie walking The open bar does not skimp on the alcohol Yeah, if you order a white Russian it is 90 % vodka
Speaker: and like a drop of milk and a drop of Kalua. It will fuck you up. When I go to the bar, yeah, the tequila sunrise. Oh, I don't even fuck with them. But when I order, I order like this. I want a white Russian vodka, Kalua milk. That's how I order. I show them the level. Give me this much. I don't want a lot because I want to be able to drive home in the 12 hours when I leave from here.
Speaker: Yeah. But have you been to Coco Bongo? No, I have not. Oh, dude, you're missing out. Literally, I mean, I've been to every bar there is in Cancun, which is a lot. And Coco Bongo, 25 to 30 shows a night, plus open bar. And if you can't get laid in Coco Bongo, something's wrong.
Speaker: , and
Speaker: Like, just going to Isla Mujeres in this other spot to go ATVs and water skiing. That was it. But most of the time we stayed at the resort. So, I mean, probably like the next time I do go, I probably would do that. Even if I just go by myself. I'll take you to Cocobongo and you'll shit yourself. Yeah. Like, let's go. Because, A, like I said, when I was a single man, I'm no longer single, obviously.
Speaker: But when I was a single man, I used to work at a tattoo body privacy shop in the Coral Negro. I would work all day, go to the bar, find some chick, go to her hotel, which is not as easy as it sounds, do my deal, go to my apartment, shit, shower, shave, go back to work, and then do it again for a year. And I was never paid to get into Coco Bongo once because I know everybody and their brother over there. And
Speaker: You can literally walk in by yourself and throw a stick in any direction to find six girls to fuck you that night nice Well, I don't I don't mean to be rude and You're crazy now since you guys are more than welcome to join each other and and and
Speaker: talk about Cancun all night long. But myself, personally, I have to get ready for bed because I have a job in the A .M. Yeah, me too. Me too. And I'm trying to, I'm trying to, I'm trying to get myself into the habit of going to bed earlier because I start the new job Monday. Oh, I was going to ask you about that. Yeah.
Speaker: A lot earlier. Yeah. I started to, I started working at OSU Monday. So I will be getting up at like four, four 30 in the morning. There are going to be a lot of naps in the afternoon after I get off. Yeah. I gotta, I gotta wake up at six. So. Yeah.
Speaker: have to get
Speaker: Yeah, and I'll be fine because as we've discussed in the past, sleep and I are not friends. I don't ever really get much sleep as it is, so I just have to adjust to waking up. Because even right now, I still wake up legitimately every single morning. I wake up at like 4 .45, and I wake up in a panic.
Speaker: I don't know if somebody used to surprise buzz sex, they're going to meet my best friend beside my bed, Mr. Smith and Wesson. Oh, is it one inch barrel wide? Yeah. How'd that enlargement surgery go? Let's test that. Let's measure it. Come on, stick it in the hole. Yeah, go ahead and start wrapping us up. I'm going to fry some chicken, and then I'll be right back. I'm going to fry some chicken.
Speaker: And I don't know why. And then it's like, oh yeah, I don't have to get up right now and then I roll back over and go back to sleep.
Speaker: What a happy man. Hey, man. Thanks for coming on bra. We appreciate you hanging out with us for a little bit sharing your Japanese It's very rare that we actually bring people on here because Oh Sensei is that what it's called? Yep sensei Sensei and what was the other one and the other one is a wa
Speaker: I was pretty close. I said Iowa or Iowa or something like that. But if you guys are anybody who's whiskey drinkers and curious trying something else, go ahead and check those out. Highly recommended by this guy over here. Brian, you said they are delicious. Thanks for hanging out with us. Like I said, it's very rare that we bring people on unless it's a scheduled guest for the podcast because
Speaker: I get to have the, I can't think of the word, but I get to pull all the audio and edit if they need to be edited and post everything. So yeah, we still try to have some kind of format or segment. So every once in a while curveballs. Okay. Welcome back, Jeffrey. Yeah. Sorry, I had to read the main vein.
Speaker: Yeah, we are going to go ahead and wrap it up for a night. Thank you guys for listening. Chatter's box. Thanks for being awesome. As, as always see everyone. So I will pull one of you guys out of the chatterbox and bring you on live with us. You just got to roll with us and don't go anywhere with some kind of crazy political agenda. Cause as, as, as Chris, you're not allowed to do it. As, as, as Chris for walking, one said, I will stab you in the neck within a Saturday night.
Speaker: We will see you guys Saturday night for a brand new episode of nonsensical nonsense Brian again, thank you for hanging out with us for a little bit pops Yeah, maybe pops will come back with a connection Saturday that actually works for the damn But as always if you guys aren't already feel free to check us out on social media
Speaker: at nonsensical nonsense on instagram facebook twitter tiktok haps youtube twitch jesus christ where aren't we at and uh you can get every single every single episode of the podcast on uh anchor spotify google play apple podcast basically anywhere you uh you get your uh your podcast fixings get a little podcast jollies
Speaker: So give us a liking go give us a pounding give Jeff the old double -thumb and If you would like to be a guest on the show or sponsor us or just tell Jeff how weird he looks about his beard free emails at the Gmail
Speaker: That nonsensical nonsense podcast is Gmail. Sorry, I forgot what the fuck I was doing. Every week I wear dark shirts so nobody can ever see my beard unless I move a little bit. And then all you see are my gray streaks. Yeah, it's because you get two gray streaks. It looks like you got something on your chin. I got a little bit of gray, a lot of red.
Speaker: Yeah, I got, I got two gray streaks. 40. Oh, okay. He's all right. I was gonna say, yeah, December. I got two long gray streaks. I'll make it a point to wear some lighter colored shirts so that my beard is actually can be seen because I do have a really long beard. So.
Speaker: Not really long but longish. It's an ode. It's an ode to Duck Dynasty. Right. I'm going for all full on ZZ fucking top. Now you're more Chester the molester than ZZ top but on that note Chester we're out of here. Brian again. Thank you sir. We're out of here. We will see you guys Saturday night. Much love.
Speaker: deuces there it is oh shit i almost forgot we actually had to do closeout music i was just gonna end the broadcast oh yeah that's right we got to do our song yes oh yeah also uh now since end of the show people are like yeah we're gonna go and turn this off uh go follow at blacktop mojo on all social media all streaming sites go stream the shit out of their music
Speaker: and tell them that, uh, nonsensical nonsense. And they'll say, who, who you think there's an hour in the room and then take a look at who we are. Deuces.
Speaker: this is the only song that has like a slow intro everything else just comes in hot as shit it is it's a fantastic song you love the video
Speaker: She whispers prayers into the wind and she commutes
Speaker: Face the blade above my head As I begin to reach the sky Oh! Murder in the sky Take this back with mine I wanna live forever And all the spirit in the earth Give me all the blood Make me a guideline
Speaker: Sir, can I help you? Do you have any weapons of any kind? Anything to defend yourself? Sir, this is a Speedy Mart. We have hot dogs too for a dollar. I just put them on the roller yesterday. They're pretty good.
Speaker: no man like something sharp something like i can stab defend myself with i've got some sharp titter combos over there it's kind of like a rich cracker pregnant with a cheese baby all right well let me just take one of these lighters and i'm gonna borrow your bug spray and can i borrow your bathroom key as well uh yeah bathroom key all right got your bathroom key right
Speaker: There make sure you bring that back and that'll be 1362 and I'm gonna have to have exact same so we're in a coin shortage at the moment Whatever man, okay, that's I'm sorry
Speaker: Take this sacrifice I want to live forever No, spirit in the earth Kill me forever Make me a god like you
Speaker: Oh shit, Chuck! Oh shit, Chuck!
Speaker: Take this sacrifice, I wanna live forever And I'll spill it in the earth, kill me forever Make me a god like you
