Transcript
Speaker: That's right.
Speaker: Yes!
Speaker: What is up sir? What is going on? I take it you couldn't get it to work. In a world of technical difficulties
Speaker: I am the king of said world. In the world of the blind, the one -eyed man is king, so yes. So I got excited because they brought back the video sharing and all that stuff on Habs. But surprise, surprise.
Speaker: A new feature with a new update on apps that it doesn't work properly. Yeah, go figure. What are you going to do? I want to see something here real quick. See what happens. Someone said she's dying. Yes, I know. She's been telling us. Sucks. Hey, pretty girl. So I can apparently share your screen.
Speaker: Uh, but it doesn't start playing. Yeah, I could, I could share my screen. Yeah, I saw that and I was like, ah, that's not what we wanted. Uh, I could do a little bit of that, a little bit of this. Bring up YouTube and just kind of play the video. Yeah, right. So I can do that. There you go. It's something that just keeps going and going and going. There's that.
Speaker: It's always fun, man. I'm telling you. Well, it's usually when they've got to get all the glitches out. I got the sound on. There's a glitch already. Yeah. But the video's not funny. There's no sound. Nothing coming out. And there's no video. It's just a square box. So I wouldn't say technically your fault. You did it correctly. I did it correctly. It's not my fault. Like I said.
Speaker: It's, hey Joe, hi pretty girl. We did start late. I was Christmas shopping, finishing up Christmas shopping. Then I seen the new feature and I was like, hell yeah, this is awesome. It finally came back. And then I was like, let me update.
Speaker: Let me upload our theme song because I've given the kids back my Bluetooth. And no, it's just... Stop fucking my life up, Haps! Because we don't have it hard enough. They're like, let's throw some more shit down there.
Speaker: If I don't fuck it up enough on my own, you know, I surely don't need your help. Exactly. We can fuck this show up hard enough. We don't need any help. Pretty much. Anywho, welcome to Donsensical .cents, y 'all. I'm Glick, hanging out with
Speaker: My little buddy, as always. My little buddy in my pants. Even though he tries to get in my pants. But he's there. Jeffrey, welcome. Yeah, maybe there's more than enough room. Especially with my big ass. I wasn't talking about your ass. No, I was talking about my big ass. The big ass pants that I have to wear. Anywho.
Speaker: Go beat your kids Well, yeah, right welcome as I said welcome to nonsensical nonsense guys if you're not already Make sure you check us out on social media Instagram Facebook Twitter and tick -tock all at nonsensical nonsense And you can catch us live every Wednesday and Saturday night on Haps and
Speaker: YouTube, Twitch, Facebook, and Twitter, again, all at Nonsense School Nonsense. And you can get every episode of the podcast on Anchor, Spotify, Google Play, Apple Podcasts, and, yes, you guessed it, at Nonsense School Nonsense. And if Jeff's done yelling at his kids, you can always email us.
Speaker: We beat you to death with our name so it's not hard to find I uploaded the video just fine
Speaker: Yeah, no, like I said, that's what I'm saying. I don't think it's anything you did. I think it's just what, you know, I'm sure that featured like, because I went to sign in and I had to set up a whole new account. So thank you, Haps. Yeah, I'm glad I didn't have to do that with everything else. Well, I'd have been super pissed.
Speaker: Well, I had to reset up, I mean, I don't have Facebook connected to Habs anymore. Because it keeps wanting to sign into my wife's and I don't think she wants me to post a podcast on her channel. So, that's, and then I had to redo, so basically everything's hooked to nonsensical nonsense. I think that's, I think it's a pretty fair assessment.
Speaker: considering how difficult she makes it for you to do the podcast. I'm sure she doesn't want you putting it on her Facebook. But yes, as I said, Christmas, I was out Christmas shopping, trying to wrap up, get a couple final things done. So I didn't get home until almost five and I had to take a shower because I found out Monday, I think it was, I was fallen told I have to work tomorrow.
Speaker: Which is funny because I was literally called by the, uh, by my supervisor saying, do not, I repeat, I don't know what happened to my camera, but do not work on Christmas Eve or Christmas day. Yeah. Well, we have, well, like I said, we're shutting down next week. So where there's nobody who's going to be there Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday next week.
Speaker: We have to go in Friday or Thursday for a normal day, and then we're off Thursday. It's funny. Don't make all that sense, but we all kind of are like, oh, it is what it is, I guess. Well, you kind of answered the main question I had for you today is when do you do your Christmas shopping? Obviously, you take the time to do it most of the time, most throughout December?
Speaker: Typically, on Christmas Eve, I've shopped, but the last couple years, I've tried to get it dutted out of the way a week or so before Christmas. For me, I'm terrible.
Speaker: because if I buy something wrapped in a fucking thing and put it underneath the tree and all that shit, I'm almost as excited for them knowing what they're gonna feel and how they're gonna like it and stuff. So I have to shop on Christmas Eve or like December 5th, I'll be like, open your gifts. So I tend to do it, I'm doing mine on Friday.
Speaker: Yeah, so I try to get by it all the way. The only downfall is now I'm gonna wrap everything and I don't like wrapping because I suck at it. It just takes forever. But, uh, you know, the old, the old way was is you use the brown paper bags from like Kroger and stuff and just leave it put a bow on it. Now they don't do the bags anymore. So fuck them. You still get paper bags.
Speaker: Well, I'll period. They never had plastic bags or paper bags here. Yeah, so I got to work tomorrow, but the cool thing about it is they had sign -up sheet because they wanted at least one or two guys from each zone, you know, there.
Speaker: and like the guys that are working during the shutdown basically they're getting their regular pay plus they're getting an additional eight hours of cop time but where tomorrow since tomorrow's a holiday we're observing president's day or whatever I get my holiday pay on top of time and a half for the eight hours that I'm there
Speaker: So I basically get paid for, Yeah, I basically get paid for eight hours on top of another, I get paid for 16 hours.
Speaker: but eight and a half of it or eight hours of it is time and a half. So it's not bad. I mean, and like I told him, they're like, you know, he's like, I wrote some bad news where you told me I had to work. I was like, that's okay. Because it was based off of, um, seniority on people who signed up. And I was like, I didn't sign up any days because I didn't want to step on anybody's toes. Right. Because there are people that quote unquote need the money.
Speaker: Well, that or they have seniority and if my name was on there first, I may have gotten it. It's a weird process. So I was like, I'd already told my lead. If I had to work one day, it's fine. And then my boss told me, he's like, plus you get the best day out of all of them because it's.
Speaker: Thursday, it's not even Christmas Eve, and you're working second shift, so you're basically just gonna come in and hang out. I'm like, okay. I was gonna do that anyways, just in front of my TV, but now I'll just watch Yellowstone on my phone. Yeah, I was gonna be, oh, just sittin' on my ass, but now I guess I'll be here just sittin' on my ass unless something comes up. He's like, yeah, pretty much. We got a couple things that we gotta do, nothing too crazy,
Speaker: So yeah, I get to go to work second shift tomorrow. So I still get to sleep in. Yeah, that's not bad. So it won't be too bad. It'll be pretty cool.
Speaker: uh, plus the guy I'm working with, he's, it's just, it's just him and I for the entire fucking campus. So if all hell breaks loose on campus tomorrow, we can't control it. We're throwing our hands up. There's only two of us. This is a, this, this campus is a fucking city inside. It's inside of a city.
Speaker: You would like to give you guys like golf carts or no wait well, we're gonna have a truck tomorrow We're gonna have a truck tomorrow that we're gonna be driving around
Speaker: Which is what they said that for the for the days that for the shutdown and over the holidays the guys that are working they're going to the I guess it's like the garage where all the trucks and Transits and everything are kept and everybody's gonna go in there and get their own vehicle. So everybody's gonna have a vehicle So you're not or I mean for regular days and stuff when it makes sense to give you like a segue Well, I mean
Speaker: I mean, they try to keep our cluster of buildings closed. My buildings are in a line. So I can come out of one building and I literally go across the street into my next building and then I just walk two or three blocks. So it's not like you have to go from one side of the campus to the other. Yeah, they lump our buildings together so we have our area.
Speaker: but there was a time when we were, one guy was out with COVID and another guy was out on vacation. They're like, oh, hey, click here. You got 12 buildings. We know you're new and you don't know them, but yeah. And it was like, let me, let me go to all the way this into campus and then all the way back. Oh wait, I got to go over here on the opposite end. You know, I got like, let's go all the way to the west side and then go all the way ups or all the way up north and then come back to. Oh, my.
Speaker: The funny thing about, you're talking about work, the funny thing that happened to me at work is literally, you know, I do the doc collection and I get a bonus for each set of docs I bring in and complete. And I literally make a phone call, send an email, and the docs get sent in. And then once they're sent in, there's three more steps that I have zero control over.
Speaker: in order to get them complete and if something's wrong you can bounce back and all that fun stuff and my my my supervisor called me uh... yes called you a bitch she called me she says I have good news bad news I said okay she said I'll give you the bad news she says you collected one set of docs and I said wait I'm only getting a hundred bucks bonus this is a guess
Speaker: And she said, but here's the thing, it's Christmas time, you know, so everybody's busy, they're not really worried about this extra thing.
Speaker: She says, I said, okay, what's the good news? She says, the good news is you're not the only one. But I got off the phone and my wife was laying here on the couch or on the bed with me while I was sitting here listening to the call. I said, you know what's gonna be funny? Because Monday is the cutoff for the week before. You know, that way if something comes in through the weekend, whatever. I said, you know what's gonna happen? I'm gonna get like six sets of docs finish on Tuesday.
Speaker: Oh yeah. And that's exactly what happened. My prediction came true. I had like four of them go through today that have been sitting there since Thursday. Oh shit. And I was like, damn it! Which is fine, it's just, you know, I still get the bonus and everything, but it's like, you know, I was kind of hoping for this, for the next paycheck. First of all, Barry, those words never came out of either one of our mouths.
Speaker: Trust me, I'll have my days. Oh no, no, no. Good God. Working hard is not my vocabulary anymore. I'll have my days where I actually have to work hard, but most part no. I don't. My job and titles, part of my job description is to find stuff to do. My job title is literally sit on your computer.
Speaker: So I do. I, I, I, but I, I walk a lot, which is good for me because, you know, it's going to help me drop some LBS. But yeah, that's basically what my boss told me. He's like, I got bad news and I got good news for you. And I was like, okay, the bad news is you got to work, uh, Thursday. And I was like, okay, that's not bad.
Speaker: I told him that I would work if they needed me, you know, not that big a deal. And he was like, well, you took that a lot better than I thought you would. But the good news is, you know, with the pay, he explained how the pay was going to work. I was like, Q, I like it. Come on, count me in. I'm in. He's like, it gets better. I'll be here for the hell zone, motherfucker.
Speaker: Exactly, you know, Scott's job, you're job is about as hard as ours. You're literally just fine. Joe said I don't work. Stomach buster ass, though. I will never ever see a stomach buster. Oh, no, I have no doubt. I mean, she's running a full store. Yeah, a stomach buster ass. And my wife, my wife will outwork me if you put in actual, quote unquote, labor or whatever you want to put it. My wife outworks me. I mean. Hence the reason, as I said.
Speaker: The words, hard work, will ever be used in any way, shape, and or form when Jeff and I describe our job. I've literally stated to the owner of the company, dude, this is the easiest amount of work I've ever had to do for the most amount of money. Yeah. And he was like, OK. I said, I've never been paid so much to do so little. And I'm constantly complaining that I don't have enough work. Yeah. Oh, I mean, there is that.
Speaker: jump and change a pace and we'll sidetrack it. Because I said I wanted to try to squeeze this in and I think we can. So why don't we go ahead and reveal the results of our first ever... I'd like a recount please because I'm not going to contest any win or loss until I can confirm
Speaker: the the numbers myself because i'm pretty sure chris got a bunch of mail -in ballots i'm pretty sure i'm right in the middle of the show
Speaker: I'm trying to do something. I'm in the process of a live show. Look at that. It's not only me that's like that. I need to borrow them for a minute. Shut my door. Billy Crack has maze? I didn't say it was an easy job, Scott, but you don't have to do technically a lot of work. Imagine not coming back. Why would you ever do such a thing?
Speaker: Yeah, come on. All right, good luck maybe trying to eat like it matters, like what matters? Well, good luck trying to eat. Hopefully you're able to get something done. When she got COVID again? No, her meds are just just fucking with her and wearing her out. But so the the results are in for the first ever nonsensical nonsense fantasy five, which is getting name changed tonight. Jeff and I talked about it a little bit and
Speaker: I kind of found something that I think we both agree works a little bit better. The formerly known as the fantasy five is now our... What the fuck did we... Starting five? Starting line up? Starting five or... Well, we don't even know what the hell we're calling it. We don't forgot. Yeah, it's the five. Just the five. Yes. Our starting line up. Five for five starting line up. Yeah, so we'll figure it out. But anyways. Yeah.
Speaker: So just to recap, we did a top five of top actors in our opinion. And I'll go ahead and read them off here real quick. I was going to say you'd probably have them a little bit easier. Yeah. Chris's top five was Tom Hanks, Robin Williams, Harrison Ford, Bruce Willis, and Mickey Rourke.
Speaker: The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one... The only one...
Speaker: And why didn't you vote, Noah? You could have held for 100 jump. But I will say, I was a bit surprised with the amount of love that was thrown Keanu's way. I told you, the dudes got pulled. And votes went your way specifically. Even though they said my list was better, they went for Keanu. And I'm like, I told you.
Speaker: Yeah, but you take The Matrix, and I got in this whole long debate with a couple guys on Snapchat. I was like, yeah, but you take The Matrix and John Wick away from piano. There are other factors. There's nothing. He doesn't have. The other factors, he's literally the nicest person on the fucking planet. So is Johnny Depp. Depp. But he's not on your list. He's not on your list either. Johnny Depp is a much better app. He's a whino.
Speaker: he's a much better actor but he but he but he has become but he has become in real life Catherine Jack Sparrow a much better actor look at his look at it but either way at the end of the day at the end of the day and it was not a coin toss it was close but in honor of my number one pick the only thing Alabama that I own I'm wearing a
Speaker: my Forrest Gump jersey. In a tight race, I was declared the champion with 15 votes to Jeff's 11.
Speaker: fuck you for people that can't see Chris is wearing his forest cup jersey with 44 on it and he's got two WWF wrestling belts slung over his shoulder like he's a fucking pimp daddy so for the remainder of the show I'll be rocking my championship belts over my shoulder right here I got him
Speaker: Out of the champ it was a lot it was it was actually really close man. Well believe it or not The vote I had on Twitter It wasn't a worker We had the Monday meeting. I was like hey guys Before we hit record on this recording of the the Monday meeting vote for me And I did not count our votes
Speaker: So don't think I counted our votes because we did vote for each other. And had I counted our votes, it would have still been... It would have been 12 for me. It would have been 19 to 15. Cause we voted for each other on... Cause we voted for each other on TikTok and Instagram. Well, I mean, either way.
Speaker: I would have counted all four of them. So that's why you won. Somebody voted for you in multiple places. No, actually, no, actually. I see how you fucking cheated. No, actually only one person voted, voted for, for either of us, both of us in two separate places. And I only counted it as one. So either way. Um, no, no, no, no friends of mine. I had so many friends betray me and stab me in the back. Right. See? And both of you got pool, sir.
Speaker: Keanu's got the pool. Rocky said Rocky said Rocky's didn't vote. He said our list was way too good. Both of our lists were way too good. He could not pick one. See, that's what I said. I mean, I told you we're going to find a new artist to record our intro music. Right. There you go. Speaking of of what are we calling it? The starting line, starting lineup, starting lineup draft.
Speaker: first ever champion this guy right here I think I might have you beat for first our Christmas episode because the new starting lineup list that we're going to be voting for is top five Christmas songs now I'm going to send you a link
Speaker: that is the top 6 Christmas songs. Now, I'm sending you a link to a website that is the top 60 Christmas songs of all times. You have to choose from said list. I don't like that I have to choose from a list that you've hand -picked. No, no, no. I did not hand -pick the list. I literally just put in top 10 Christmas songs. Because I've already got...
Speaker: I already got at least three. I got your beat though. I can tell you right now. Quick question. Do you guys know the song Erika? I don't think so. Who sings it? Is it all Christmas songs like Country, Rock, Classic? Yeah, Christmas songs over the board. Throughout the board. If it's related to Christmas.
Speaker: If you want to do Jeff Foxworthy's, the 12 red nicknames Christmas, then it's all, that's you. It's a German song. No, the only, yeah, you get number one pick, but I'm still going to be because I have the greatest. I've already, I've already wrote down three. I don't think you have the greatest. See, see, not only, not only did I come out in the first, I haven't written them down, but not only, not only, not only am I the champ,
Speaker: The reigning, current reigning undisputed champ. I am at a severe disadvantage for every list. No, but however, the first list you were not a disadvantage because we discussed it prior to picking. No, I wasn't. We did discuss that one so we could do it separately. We literally discussed it on the show. It's segued by a dot scene, but it's a solve for them.
Speaker: Oh my god. Send us the link, please. Is it actually in German? I don't like the whole idea of you sending me a list that I can pick from. I'm afraid some of my choices will be on there. I have it here. Let me bring it up and I'll call you off in the title of it.
Speaker: greatest Christmas songs of all time top 60 list 60 greatest Christmas songs of all time and it has
Speaker: the full genre so you know of course it's number one is mariah carrey but uh well it's the first one that shows up just so you know if you pick mariah carrey in your top five list i am firing you and i will from that moment on i will be doing the show by myself didn't no i did not even think about it for the same reason i did not think i did not think to pick it for the same reason you did it is fucking annoying and it is i hate that song
Speaker: Exactly who put out that who put out your who put out your who put out your list? I don't know Good housekeeping with the 70
Speaker: Best Christmas songs. Now, are we just doing the song in general or by a particular artist? It's called timeout .com. Oh, okay. No, it's in general. I mean, you can do by artist if you want. Well, I mean, I mean, because think of all the people. I know, like, like the song. Yeah, exactly. I mean, how many people have done covers of, you know, maybe it's cold outside or, or all I want for Christmas. Yeah. I mean, Mariah Carey does not own all I want for Christmas. She just has the most.
Speaker: Pops just sent me a picture. It says, a historical picture of children listening to Mariah Carey's, All I Want for Christmas. And it's a bunch of kids in the hallway for the old tornado drills. You remember how we used to go in the hallway? Grouchy did that. Exactly. My thoughts exactly. Which is why I wouldn't even remotely think to put that on my list. But don't get me wrong, it's a good song. I just hate the Mariah Carey version.
Speaker: But, you know, the reason why I did this, oh, he just sent it to me as well. So let me see. Now these are specifically your solves. It's not what people have listed. You know, you gotta...
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, it's like, for instance, if you want to do all I want for... Yeah, there you go. Thank you, James. The Adam Sandler Hanukkah song. That's available. That's not Christmas, it's Hanukkah. Same difference as Holidays. You said Christmas songs. Okay, well, fuck you. It's a Hanukkah song.
Speaker: The point is, if you want to do the version of All I Want for Christmas from that fucking movie, what's the British movie? It's one of my favorite British, William Neeson's in it, and Keira Knightley, and Alan Rickman, and fucking... I want to say Hugh Jackman, it's not Hugh Jackman, it's...
Speaker: What's, who is Mickey Blue -Eyes? What's his name? I have no idea. You know who Mickey, oh my god, I might have to look it up. God dammit, fuck. I'm looking at this list and I'm not liking it, dude. I'm not liking that I have to pick from this list. Oh, the one I sent you? Yeah. I just, that's the first one I grabbed. You can pick from any list, I don't care. Yeah, I don't need a list. The one I picked was the, the one of the, I mean, you can pick from multiple lists, I don't care.
Speaker: but I just grabbed that one because there's 60 of them there between the two of us. Yeah. Oh, but I, like I said, yeah, I've already, uh, I've already, uh, like I said, I'm sitting here thinking and I've already got like, I've got like three already. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's, uh, granted, obviously none of them were on that damn list. Well, whatever was.
Speaker: next week will be you know something completely different it'll go back to normal stuff but since it's Christmas I mean you and I've already discussed since we did male actors we'll do female actors somewhere down the line eventually I mean no I think I think my my top ten Saturday's gonna be it's gonna be a very Christmas themed episode of nonsensical nonsense yeah exactly
Speaker: We're gonna, I'm gonna look for fun Christmas stories. Not fun, but like, there's bound to be some jackass who makes the news for, for being a dumbass. Lighten his fucking tree on fire or some shit. Yeah. Hallelujah. But that's just, is that really a Christmas song? Hallelujah? Hallelujah? I don't think it is. That's just like a, that's just like a Jesus. That's just the one from Shrek?
Speaker: That's just a good shot. You know what, believe it or not, well, I'm not gonna spoil my list. One of the ones I have is, my all time will almost choke me up if I sing it, song. I got one of those, that's gonna be my number one pick. Ah, fuck. And I can't see it's probably gonna be the one I'm thinking of, because unfortunately, as much as we would probably hate to admit it, we both think alike.
Speaker: I don't think we hate to admit it. We probably admit it more than we probably should. It's the reason. And again, a lot of discussions came out of our first lineup with me and people because they're like, oh, well, you forgot about Gibson. And I'm like, no, it's not that we didn't forget about it. The problem is,
Speaker: Please Jeff don't say We think so much of life. So Jeff and I had to step outside of our box Yes, because because each one of us each thought like I hesitated Britain Bruce on my list The other reason I put him on my list, unfortunately he picked him but it's because my wife is such a huge fan Well, yeah, and I'm wrong, but but I was like this is gonna have him Chris is gonna have him on his list. We're gonna
Speaker: And I had Leo as a reserve because I wanted him, but I was afraid you were going to get him. And I got you on a couple, guys. I was listening to that episode today. And you were like, I think I got you on Harrison Ford and Bruce Willis. And I'll put the list down. Yeah. Oh, you cock -sucking motherfucker. Harrison Ford. No, you got me on Harrison Ford and Bruce Willis. Yeah.
Speaker: You might have got me a little bit on Tom Hanks, but I wasn't as upset as I was with Harrison and Bruce No, like I said Tom Hanks was when we when we brought it up He was my he was my first pick no matter what unless you took him, but I didn't think you were gonna take him number one Just because I love the guy I love his movies plus He's done everything
Speaker: He's literally done every type of character and movie that you can do outside of a horror movie. I don't know that he's ever done a horror movie. Who's this? Tom Hanks. Harrison? Oh, Tom Hanks? Yeah. I don't know. But hell, he's going to be in that new 1883, so now he's got a Western under his belt. I know. Well, technically, he did that. He did, like,
Speaker: He just did a movie where it looks like a Western. He's riding on. Yeah, it's like News of Tomorrow, or News of Today, or something like that. Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah, that looks kind of like a Western. I haven't seen it, so I don't know. Speaking of Westerns, we both have dove into the whole Yellowstone thing. By the way, check your TikTok. Check the TikTok. I sent you a couple videos that I thought I'd read. I've seen that, that hat.
Speaker: How cool is that? That dude does really amazing work. That guy does some really cool hats. He does some really cool hats. I know, I'm gonna try to jump back into Yellowstone this weekend. I think Christmas Day after the kids leave, I'm gonna go out and DoorDash for a few hours before the podcast just because I feel like Christmas Day is gonna be stupid busy. So, you know.
Speaker: I think I could, oh you know people are gonna be ordering out like crazy. I don't know, we've always done like a Christmas dinner. Yeah, I mean, yeah, but usually it's like in the afternoon and stuff, but then in the evening. Yeah, I guess you got a point. And I might get lucky if more people... Snacks and DoorDash, I had my awesome snack before the show.
Speaker: Dude, that was a meal for four fucking people, you fat fucking hoe. No, believe it or not, we - You're gonna have a goddamn heart attack in the middle of this episode. No, oddly enough, I only eat half of it, and then about one o 'clock - You can't believe everything you read in these dreams. I eat it again. I eat the other half. But I ordered five of them, and then I cut it off. You ordered five of them goddamn sandwiches? Oh, well, there are six people in the house.
Speaker: Yeah, but one of them sandwiches could feed four and a half people. Ah, no. I'll have my wife will probably finish hers tomorrow for lunch. I'll finish mine probably tonight watching Yellowstone after my wife passes out. That's the biggest problem for me. Like I was going to watch the Yellowstone last night, but I had no snacks. Yeah. Speaking of your wife and things that annoy me,
Speaker: Have a I have a I have a new favorite thing that I enjoy doing oh Yeah, and that's and that's poking and that's poking the per river I saw the tick -tock you did Well, not only that on Facebook on Facebook. I've been I've been poking at Kevin
Speaker: It's not that I believe anything that I say It's not only to fuck with him but to fuck with all the people that follow him
Speaker: that he painters too and he'll try to have a serious debate with me and I'm like well I mean if you would just do the right thing and get vexed unlike some people in Florida and Texas we wouldn't be having these problems I mean
Speaker: Just, just do the right thing and think about others that he's like, Oh, speaking of COVID stuff, I saw a, a tick tock today and it was just, it was just a guy staring at his phone and then it was written on the bottom and I, it, it said the funniest thing and I'm waiting for you to finish your drink before I say it is wearing a mask with a beard is like a seventies.
Speaker: underwear commercial. And I literally looked at it and I lost my fucking mind laughing. Like, you know, I have to wear a mask at work. And I literally, this is only going to be for those of you who watch the video or whatever. My mask, and you can see this now that you have a, you can actually see me. Right. My mask sits like this all day. Yep. It's like, it's not doing anything. You know, um,
Speaker: When we were in building trades, I originally didn't want to do building trades, I wanted to do auto body.
Speaker: Until the auto body teacher said, oh, if you wanted to do this, you would have to shave. And I was like, yeah, nope, ain't gonna happen. Because apparently the fumes and stuff gets through the beard. And I was like, I can't give a fuck. I don't even wear a mask when I paint. That's what they say, but it's not true. Because you can be fitted for. When I worked at Orkin, it was a fight, and they didn't want to believe it.
Speaker: Then when I was working at the last pest control company I was with up here, he's like, you know, you gotta have to shave your, you know, the only time I shave your beard, if we do bed bug or whatever, and we were doing a bed bug one day that he just kind of sprung on me and I didn't, so I didn't know. So I didn't have a chance to shave. And we're like, he was like, well, let's, let's, let's see if we can get a good seal on it. I was like, I already know you can, because it was an argument that we had back in the day when I was originally worked at the med center. Um,
Speaker: because they were kind of getting on us about our beards. So we fought with it and the union got involved and everything else. And they discovered that they couldn't. So we put the mask on and it sealed up and he was like, damn, he goes, I'm not shaving anymore. I was like, see, I told you. Next time he seems, he looks like ZZ fucking top. But speaking of which I should, I should reach out to them and tell them Merry Christmas. I love those too. I hated leaving them.
Speaker: Well, shit, I don't know if I should, it was just me at the time. I don't know if they, actually I don't know if they celebrate Christmas. They're Jewish. Yeah, they don't. But I don't know if they do or not. Find out if they're Orthodox. I mean, they're not like crazy practicing Jews or anything like that.
Speaker: You know what? You know what? They won't even be offended by it. Just wish them happy holidays. That's what I do. We have the same exact political mindset, so they will not be offended in any way, shape, or form. They'll probably just bust my balls, to be honest with you. Yeah, probably. All Jewish, too. You know I'm Jewish, right? Man, this is America. Just be like, you know, I'm half German, right?
Speaker: But anyways, Jesus Christ. It's not funny to make a... World War II references. It's very funny. It's not, but it's borderline. He used to tell me...
Speaker: He used to make Jewish jokes, my boss, my old boss. I love that dude. I loved him and his wife. And like I said, if it wasn't for the bennies and stuff like that, I would have never left. I would have stayed there and helped them build the company because they were awesome people. But he used to make the most God awful Jewish jokes.
Speaker: Oh no. One day, like one day, yeah, like one day I was, one day I was, uh, I was smoking outside of my car before work and I flipped my, like I flipped ashes and he was like, Hey, those are my ancestors, man. Can you be a little bit more respectful? And I'm like, I looked at him and he was like, you can laugh. It's okay. I said it.
Speaker: This is like one of my best friends down here, well he lives in Malazan now, him and his wife are Jewish and we were sitting around one day and we were telling jokes and he did a Holocaust reference joke and I sat there and stared at him and his wife and she starts laughing hard and he goes, yeah, it's okay, you can laugh.
Speaker: Well, that's what he did. I, I, I stopped and I started to chuckle. Then I stopped and I was like, looked at him and he was like, you can laugh. It's funny. And I'm Jewish. Okay. Are you sure? Can I really? No, I, I, I should, I should, I should tell that I should message him and tell him Merry Christmas. They were good people. I liked him.
Speaker: They had some good kids and everything, so... Yeah, I, uh... I saw that, I saw that TikTok and I know you and I both constantly rocked the beard and I was like, holy shit, I don't know if I sent it to you or not, but I was like, oh, so I can tell Chris about this. Yeah, no, man, it, I, man, I'm telling you, it,
Speaker: It fucking wrecks my beard, man. It's all fluffed out on the side. The TikTok said, wearing a mask with a beard looks like a 1979 J .C. Penney catalog lingerie section. What I need to do is find
Speaker: It's just something that'll cover my nose and mouth. You know what I mean? You're all safe. I can't breathe, but you're all safe. It was like wearing a mask to save others. We're getting a fax to save others or because I forget what it was, but it was like, uh,
Speaker: doing this to save others is like wearing a diaper so the others won't shit themselves. Where were you, Joe? What do you mean? What's with the belt? I am the champion. I beat Jeff in the first ever starting line up. So as the champion, I didn't be better. Try to be better than me. I know it's hard. It's hard to be better than the best
Speaker: Basically basically basically as you I'll give you Robin 100 % because I didn't think of it The only dispute that you have the only the only pick that you can shit on on my list and I said it when I picked them was Mickey Roy, but at the same time look back at Mickey works catalog and
Speaker: No, no, no. I'm not saying he's not a bad cat at all. He's got a great cat a lot. The problem that was is. I had so much faith in my other four, obviously it went through. Oh my god. Obviously my four were better than. Honestly, you know who pulled you through? And looking at the list, I have it literally right here in front of me, looking at the list, what wins you, gets you the W.
Speaker: is Bruce and Harrison every time. No, what gets me the W was Robin Williams. Okay, I'll give you that. Yeah, Chris Wood. I am the champion. I am the champion of the world.
Speaker: Just called out to Walmart tomorrow to buy himself a championship belt. No, no, no, no. When you lose, I'm gonna play taps for you and I'm gonna play champions on my phone. Yeah, too bad you can't because your phone's dead.
Speaker: No, I just, like I said, my weakest link was Mickey Rourke and I knew it was going to be because, you know, but that was, like I said, it's our personal list. It's not anybody else's list. It has nothing to do with anything. It's a preference kind of thing.
Speaker: Yeah, this is where we get to add our personal, not the entire shows in our opinion. Yeah, exactly. But on top of that, there's people on your list that I didn't think of. I would never have met Mickey Rourke. Well, I mean, I thought as it feels, I did not think of Robin Williams. I didn't think of Morgan Freeman. I thought of Sam Jackson, the blackest of all black guys.
Speaker: I didn't go for the woke vote. I went for the real vote. It wasn't a woke, woke vote. Calm down. Calm down, Joe Biden. Morgan Freeman is a bad -ass actor. Yeah, let's go, Brandon. Hell, yeah. I'll drink to that. But you said, specifically, you said your words. I heard them again today. No, we know why, because if I would have picked a full white list, I guarantee, and you would have picked a full white list, I guarantee you we would have gotten canceled.
Speaker: My list doesn't get any whiter. Oh, no shit. So I didn't get any, I didn't catch any grief. My luck would have been, if I would have picked all white lists, we would have been grief, that would have been my luck. Buggy said, when she voted, Buggy said, I only know a couple guys from both of your lists and I don't like Leonardo DiCaprio, so I vote for you.
Speaker: Both girls, both girls, because I sent it out on Snapchat, both girls like, I had that, I was just like, just vote whose list is better. And they're like, what is it about? And I was like, and then there was a lot of people going, oh, Jeff's gonna win this fight. I was like, it's not a fucking fight. We didn't do a lineup. I mean, we couldn't do. We couldn't do. It wasn't meant to be a fight. And that was on me, that's my bad. I did not explain the draft, but I needed to put like a fantasy football reference. Yeah, like I said, I mean,
Speaker: It was our first one, you know when you make the post you can kind of you know This is our fantasy draft for our top five lineup You know, whatever make it a little bit catchy. Give it a little flash. Give it a little piece there, you know Yeah, so
Speaker: Because I had that conversation a lot, too. That was another kind of... I'm like, first of all, I hit Bruce Wilson, Harrison Ford, and they would knock the crap out of most of your list. I don't know. In a fight? In a fight? In a fight in the corner. As much as I... Hey, don't discredit the little nerdy guy. It might be the most dangerous son of a bitch out of the group. Did you see that fucking movie when he was a photo guy?
Speaker: Yeah! One hour photo? Yeah, it was a creepy, holy fuck that movie freaked me out. I was waiting, I literally was like, Ron Williams, fuck yeah, we're gonna watch this, we're gonna laugh our asses off. And I was like, whoa. Plus, that escalated quickly. Yeah, right? Plus, I mean, I had a couple badasses, I had Bruce Willis, I had Harrison Ford, I mean,
Speaker: I had Mickey Rourke. I mean, the guy was a boxer before he became an actor. Like a professional real life boxer. And even after he became an actor, he was a boxer up until like 2005 or something like that. Yeah. And he started boxing in like 1979 or some crazy shit. Yeah, he's like older than dirt. Yeah. Well, there's plastic surgery and doing him no favors either.
Speaker: But he also got a factor in the fact that he got punched in the face for damn near 40 years. Well, on top of that, there was people that I had.
Speaker: in my second and third backup that I probably could have picked first, like James Earl Jones. Oh, yeah. Because the dude's got the best voice in Hollywood. It was, like I said, it was fun to do. And that was what I told a lot of people. It's a lot harder than what you think it is when you're trying to narrow it down to five.
Speaker: And then you get your five and you're like, oh shit, I just thought of so and so. And then you sit there and fuck around with it and go, oh, but if I get rid of him, fuck. It's extremely hard. To the point. And you have to narrow it down to five. And then you get your five, and then some asshole steals them from you.
Speaker: And I wouldn't say it's an asshole about strategy. And it's about being the fucking champ, baby. Baby. And actually, in one of my group chats on Snapchat with my gambling addicts, it spurred top fives, sports -related top fives. We were doing top five Heisman. And these cats are young as hell. So they were saying, Tim Tebowball.
Speaker: Have you guys not ever heard of Herschel Walker or Chris Carter or Bo Jackson? They're like, oh, shit. Yeah, they're like, oh, shit. This is the only Heisman trophy winner I even know. Archie Griffin from Ohio State. He's the only two -time Heisman trophy winner. Our next top five is top five Christmas songs, Joe. Yes. It is a starting lineup of Christmas songs. So we'll do that Saturday. Saturday will be draft.
Speaker: So it's a lot harder than you think it is. But it's fun. When you first brought up the subject, I was like, this is going to be fucking easy. And then I sat down and I was like, holy fuck. There's a lot of actors out there. And then you've got to think, OK, would Chris pick that person? Or am I going to get called out for picking that person?
Speaker: I will say as much as, and I didn't think Keanu was a bad pick. He was just a bad number one pick. But you got a lot of love. Even people who voted for me still gave you love for the Keanu pick. Keanu's got pull, man. Speed? Love that fucking movie. I might watch that tonight.
Speaker: The only good thing about Speed was Sandra Bullock. Oh, such a horn mouth. That movie is a cinematic genius. Dave Topper alone? I love Speed. I don't know what it is about. I don't know what it is about Sandra Bullock.
Speaker: She's a good looking woman, man. Yeah, she's just like that. She's got something. It's like that super cute girl next door. You know who she is? And she was badass. You're gonna give me this shit for this. She is our generation's Sally Fields. Think about it before you answer.
Speaker: No, I can't argue that. I think you're right. See? I think you're right. Wow, I just said you're right. Put that on your whiteboard. You want to hear something crazy? Sally Fields? Remind me of my mother. Oh, you've touched yourself to Sally Fields. That means you've touched yourself to your mom. No. No, in all instances, uh... Your momma must really care about your education, bud. No, no, no, no. Ah, Tom, thanks for the win, baby! I'm talking about Sally Fields from the movie Steel Magnolias.
Speaker: Yeah. No, no, I can see that. I can see that. But that damn movie, that damn movie. What was that movie? The Michael Orr story that where her and Tim McGraw. Exactly. I drew a blank. They did. Yeah. The blind side. That movie was that movie was so good.
Speaker: being a football fan, and I hated Michael. And I hated Michael Orr because he played for the Ravens, but he was so good. But she was so bad -ass in that movie. Which she... The one movie I can't stand or watch her in is the movie Crash.
Speaker: I don't think she's sexy. I don't think there's anything sexy about her. No, like I said, she's like that super cute girl next door that you have a crush on. The reason why Speed 2 sucked is because Keanu wasn't in it. Keanu doesn't really do very well with sequels.
Speaker: Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, Matrix 2, John Wick 2, 3... First of all, John Wick Chapter 1, 2, 3 and soon to be 4 is not a sequel, it's a fucking continuation. No, it's a documentary of Keanu Reeves. The cameras are still following Keanu Reeves around in Russia while he just kills people.
Speaker: Yeah, exactly. They're like, oh, we have to, we can't, we got to cut these things out. Bill and Ted's excellent adventure kind of slumped. It wasn't as good as the first or bogus adventure or whatever it was. It wasn't as good. And matrix after the first one. Okay. The problem I have with the matrix and the third one was as nerdy, as nerdy as I am.
Speaker: And I heard you're not gonna like the fourth one Because the brothers who made the matrix Well now they're sisters well now they're sisters They both transitioned into women and I guess the matrix for is Are you throwing yourself off the balcony?
Speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, Saturday night, I will be doing co -host interviews, so if you're interested, so I guess The Matrix 4 is super woke. Super woke. Oh, thank you, I'm super woke. Have you seen Brooklyn Nine -Nine? Yeah. Andy Samberg. Love Andy Samberg. Terry Crews. Terry Crews. The whole cast is genius. Yeah, I love it. I started watching the newest season.
Speaker: And fuck me. I didn't even make it through the first episode. Oh, really? They went so woke. Samberg doesn't seem the type to be stupid woke though. Oh my god, dude. Seriously, the first scene is them standing minimum six feet apart with masks on. Were they making fun of it or was it negligent? No. No. Him and Boyle, Andy Samberg and Boyle, are
Speaker: created a high -five device that would work six feet apart hey you know what and the angry girl no I haven't seen the next pictures movie I just what I heard about it Joe well they're not they're doing the right thing Jeff they're probably all backs too and they they're gonna get their boosters they're doing the right thing
Speaker: Okay, I don't I'm doing what the greatest president ever No, I have no problem with being woke I have no problem with with with you know, it sounds like you do You want to hang out with your mom's your dad your dad's brother? I don't care that doesn't bother me but shoving it down my fucking throat and
Speaker: What if your dad is your mom because your dad being your brother is nothing new for some states, West Virginia, Mississippi, Texas, Alabama. You see what I'm saying? It's like, I have no problem with, you know, LGBTQ, BLM. I have no problem with that shit. Because A, 90 % of it doesn't affect me. But you shoving it down my throat over and over and over and over and over, that gets old really fast.
Speaker: Well, I don't know. From what I hear, you love having it shoved down your throat over and over and over and over again. I knew you were going to fucking do that. That was a fucking softball.
Speaker: I know it was. You gave it to me. You gave it up like a sweet virgin on prom night. I have to side with Kevin Smith on this when it comes to give me the good old fashioned dick and fart jokes. Give me nonsensical nonsense. Give me nonsensical nonsense. Fucking A. We're not.
Speaker: No, we could probably how many times you call me a fucking bleeding vagina Yeah
Speaker: Did you eat your dinner? Yeah. Okay. Will you get that creepy ass taking the same thing out of my room? Cash, I got some sandwiches left over if you want one. I got full ones still downstairs. We had sloppy joes for dinner tonight, so. Do you make from scratch? Or do you get it out of a can and mix it in with me? Just get it out of a can.
Speaker: I go kill the cow. I go kill the cow. No, no, no, no. I grind it up. And also, if you could make sloppy joe with making your own stuff, that reminds me. No, I'll just do it out of the can. I'm going to have you, I'm going to actually send you some cash to send me some sloppy joe mix, because I can't get it here. Some manwich? You better get another job, because you know it's going to cost like $45 ,000. One can, exactly.
Speaker: I'll venue my house. This is the most expensive sloppy joe, no demand cut. I'll venue the deed to the house, and be like, just, I can only afford one. But when my mom comes down, she'll bring me like three or four cans, and they won't make it past the weekend. No. No, I mean, there's nothing wrong with good old sloppy joe, little man -witch for you, or whatever it is. I got home late, so I got home, and I was like, I'm going to jump in the shower, and Austin was like, well,
Speaker: Oh, what are we doing for dinner? And I was like, I don't care, you know what's out there. And she's like, I'm just gonna make sloppy drizzles. I was like, okay, well, go ahead, have on it. So that's why I buy like the man, which because they can do it. I mean, cash could do it in all honesty. Yeah. Well, cash could do it at the end of the day. My wife has pretty much had this whole week off. She actually made me, made chilaquiles today for breakfast. Fuck, dude. You basically take half a tomato,
Speaker: like three of those fry it in a pan until it turns real mushy and half a onion do the same thing put it all in a blender then take corn tortillas chop them up and fry them in oil almost like fry them and then a little bit of chicken shredded chicken in it and then mix all that together and put it in a fucking bowl with cheese on top
Speaker: Fuck, man. Hey, man, if it's good and it works. Yeah, the best part is I didn't have to cook. There you go. She made homemade empanadas last night, too. They were awesome. And then you ordered your 10 and a half pound sandwich. I did that today for dinner.
Speaker: Well, last week, last week I didn't cook once. I was like, look, I don't, I don't, I'm busy. I don't feel like that's worth pizza or what's worth this or that. And we finally tried Church's Chicken. I've never tried Church's Chicken until a couple days ago. It's actually not bad. So overrated. It's not bad. It's not bad, but it's overrated. The KFC down here is so fucking greasy. Now I like grease. I'll drink grease right out of the fucking pan. I don't care.
Speaker: It's so greasy that when you take a sip of your, your pop, it tastes weird. Yeah. Well, that's disgusting. Yeah. Well, KFC is good here. It's not, I mean, it's got the grease factor obviously, but it's still, but, uh, as far as like chicken joints go, uh, we don't have them in Ohio, but down in Charleston, one of my favorite places to go was Zaxby's.
Speaker: But they're super expensive. Much like being, and we had them down in Charleston too. And we had my other favorite, well probably my number one favorite place to get chicken. It was actually started up here at OSU by a couple guys that were, I think they were still in school at OSU when they started it, but raising canes.
Speaker: So when I first started eating it, it was only on campus. Oh, okay. And when I left, I was like, man, those suck. There's not going to be any raisin canes in Charleston, blah, blah, blah. And then I started working for Orkin and come to find out there was like four raisin canes in Charleston. I took care of three of them. So that was like, I was like, what time do you guys don't? Cause we had to go in before they opened. It was like, what time do you guys open?
Speaker: Okay, so if I come in, because their service took me like 10 minutes, because they were one of those fast food restaurants that were spotless. I'm talking. They never had no issues, bug related, and they were spotless clean. I would eat their food off of the fucking floor.
Speaker: in their cooking area. And getting that from a fast food joint is a lot. In their cooking area. Somebody's worked their fast food joint and slid all over the fucking floors from all the grease and nastiness on the floor. In their cooking area, not on their dining room floor, but in their cooking area, I would eat off the floor. So 10 minutes, I'm in and out, I do my thing. So I would go in there about 20 minutes before they opened, and they were already cooking. So I had three of them.
Speaker: One week, I had three weeks a month I went to Raisin Cane's. I had my restaurants planned out perfectly to the ones who gave me free food. And then if I happen to be like. That's called, two bites, oh wow. Yeah. That's the way to do it, that's called Perks of the Job.
Speaker: perks of the job. And if I happened to stop by there on a date, like if I was in the area and I just went by there to get lunch, as soon as I came up to the first window to pay, they're like, what did you tell us? You are the Orkin guy. And I'm like, um, yeah, no, I didn't want to be that douche. Like, Hey, it's York. And it's no dying allowed. Yeah. Amen to that.
Speaker: Gotta deal with a weepy motherfucker all the time. If you die, then he's gonna be weepy all the time You gotta deal with a fucking champion all the time. Oh, fuck you champion shit. You know that one time The first ever I I am I am a I am a record holder. I am the first time ever Champion you fucking Super Bowl
Speaker: I did just win the Super Bowl. I won the nonsensical, nonsense Super Bowl. I beat you in an argument that you have no argument for. No, that the Super Bowl one will be on, because this is just pre -game. This is like pre -season. Thank you. Super Bowl is on the anniversary of the show. The anniversary of the show is actually coming up pretty fast. Who wouldn't care if you died? If you say me, I'm going to be so mad.
Speaker: Because you know better. He's figuring out how to jump through the screen. Who else is going to tell me to fuck off? Yeah. I don't want you to... Are you serious? How many times have I told you you're not allowed to die until after I die? No, my wife and I have that discussion as well. She's not allowed to die before me. Thank you so much. I had to live almost 38 years without you. I don't want to live another second without you.
Speaker: Vegetables only. Some meds don't take carbs. There you go. Yeah, you know, either way. At the end of the day, I have a record holder. I have the first time champion of the starting lineup. It's like the crowds going up against a fucking junior high team. And still losing. Preseason style.
Speaker: and losing because that's what the Browns are doing. Dude, we played Monday - Oh, you're the Browns, Dick. Yeah, well, as a Browns fan, I know they're a fucking train wreck. Dude, listen to this. On a side note, on a good note for the Cleveland Browns, we played Monday night. The game got delayed from Saturday to Monday because COVID is running rampant through sports right now. That's because nobody's back. Everybody's back, though. Oh, I forgot.
Speaker: Yeah. So they postponed the game. We still played the game. We still played the game. So they postponed the game. We still played Monday early late afternoon.
Speaker: with what one of our, one of my buddies said, the Berea, Berea, Ohio replacements. The quarterback who started for the Browns Monday didn't have a job until Sunday. Nice. They signed him.
Speaker: we played against a team that was... He was a garbage collector before. Fucking Shane Falco. Hey, you laugh, you laugh, but Kurt Warner, two times Super Bowl champion, Super Bowl MVP, before he got signed by the
Speaker: St. Louis Rams, the man was literally bagging groceries. The Rams signed him, he was bagging groceries. The Rams signed Kurt Warner to be their quarterback. They went to the Super Bowl, they won the Super Bowl, he was a Super Bowl MVP. Actually, there's a movie coming out about him, the underdog story. I was just gonna say, where's his fucking, oh, that's that one I saw. That's what I sent you, and I said, that fucking looks good. I just dropped my lighter.
Speaker: Kurt Warder was a bad -so bitch. So no, this can't get out. Is that the guy from the office playing him? Yeah. The guy, yeah. John Krasinski or? Yeah, John Krasinski. Yeah. Who played Shazam? Yeah. Bunching around, Jeff. That's what Summer said. But no, this is not a dig on Cleveland. With being completely ravaged,
Speaker: 20 players out with COVID, not allowed to play. Our head coach sitting in his basement because he had COVID. They took a healthy Los Angeles Raiders all the way to the final second and lost by two points. Ouch. Yeah, it sucked. At the end of the day, that's still not bad. That's like running a marathon.
Speaker: from, from, you gotta, oh, tomorrow you're running a marathon, by the way, Chris, you know. It's like running a marathon, you're not happening in your legs. Yeah. So, I mean, I wasn't bad at it, but it still sucked because they had a chance to win. But either way, at the end of the day, how are you ruining your teeth? Oh, from vomiting. Oh, yeah. But let's take a real quick break. I literally had to think of that for a second. I was like, and then I had to look back.
Speaker: Let's, uh, let's take a real quick break. You break one. Yep. I got fried chicken. Oh, well, thank you for that. Uh, baby. She said, I'm sorry. You're getting sick. Yeah. She sent me a video of her throwing up. That fucking sucks. I feel so bad for it. I wish I was. I have a funny story about that real quick. Um, I am the worst person.
Speaker: for you to throw up next to me. Because it's not going to make me sick. I'm going to laugh my ass off. Because one of my ex -girlfriends in this long time ago, her and I went out drinking, and she threw up. And I looked over just as she threw up, and she just went like this. And she just opened her mouth, and it just flew out of her mouth. And I was like, look, I lost it. She was going to play forever.
Speaker: No, I don't ever laugh or anything like that. I'm usually... I feel bad for laughing, but the look on somebody's face when they bomb it is the funniest thing I've ever seen. And as much as I feel bad, because I know what it feels like to throw up, it sucks. It's terrible. I feel bad. But to see somebody throw up, I feel bad for them as well. But to see somebody throw up, I feel laugh at you.
Speaker: i feel bad because i wish i was there i wish i was there so i could yeah i i just wish i i was there and i could do something i mean i wouldn't be able to do much but you'd hold her hair back yeah well at least love on her and try to make her feel a little bit better no no i i get that i mean like i said i i feel bad for the person throwing up i always do but i the look on people's faces at Hilton
Speaker: Calm down. I need to call a priest.
Speaker: Yeah. Start fucking yourself with the crucifix. Calm down. I need an old priest and a new priest. Quick. Hello 911. I need an old priest and a new priest. With that being said, let's go ahead. Let's go ahead and grab ourselves a real quick break or play a little black dot move. He said he likes watching us. Not weird. Not even remotely.
Speaker: Yes. But we're going to take a real quick break, guys. We're going to play some blacktop mojo for you. Go check them out on all social media. Go stream their music wherever you stream music from. Make sure you tell them that nonsensical nonsense sent you when you go. Yeah. That way, maybe, well, maybe the one day they'll know us. I say that. I say that as it got.
Speaker: I say that as a guy who's talked to them on multiple occasions. But anyways, we're going to grab a real quick break. We'll be right back. Enjoy a little black town. Black town.
Speaker: The eye You put me in these chains You have got no right You ought to be ashamed We don't need your mind pollution Stereo mass confusion
Speaker: I'm with your persecution We will bring no revolution You can put bars around my body and tackle me inside Lock me up forever, my silver cage, my mind Take me to the hangman in the middle of the night
Speaker: Watch me choke out my last breath My spirit will never die And all we want is peace You send us out to war
Speaker: Too sweet Your house is made of gold We wanna take this persecution
Speaker: You take me to the hangman In the middle of the night And watch me choke out my last breath My spirit will never die
Speaker: Watch me out forever but you'll never catch my mind Take me to the highway I'm in the middle of the night Watch me choke out my last breath My spirit will never
Speaker: I still think I can still hear it in my mouth. Welcome back to the nonsensical nonsense show. I'm Glick. He's Jeff. Coming back for the second hour. We're going to bring you guys some news coming up.
Speaker: If you guys aren't already going to give us a follow on all social, basically give us a follow on all social media. Give us a follow anywhere and everywhere you get your podcasts, fixings and jollies from and listen to all the episodes. And if you want to join us live every week, you can do so simply by following us on Facebook, Twitter.
Speaker: Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Apps, Apple Podcasts, Google, Anchor, Spotify.
Speaker: I think I got it all. I think I got it all. Just ask Siri or ask your Google assistant. Whatever, go into your Google box and just hit nonsensical nonsense. You'll find us. Follow us. Like us. Share us. Give us the old double plumbing, if you would.
Speaker: And then you can email us if you'd like. Does it remind you what our email is? Podcastemail .com. No, do you remember Wednesday? I was telling you, my wife had to go to a office Christmas party. Yeah, and you were saying something about you and your son. And she won something. And the funny thing is, I literally almost bought the same thing she won. She won an Alexa.
Speaker: Nice. You can even ask your Alexa. And if you're in your Spotify app, if you're in your Spotify app, you can say... Nonsensical nonsense. It'll start playing an episode. I've done it. Hey, Spotify. Is that what you say? No, well... Hey, Spotify. Play nonsensical nonsense. There you go. It's a Christmas kiss you've ever gotten.
Speaker: Right, or I was thinking like... Because? I was thinking of doing Christmas songs or... That's us! Holy shit! I absolutely... I'm not sure. Let's just let that play the rest of the episode. It'll play the most recent episode of Nonsensical Nonsense. Now the government is... I don't give a...
Speaker: Joanne, you know how boring and pathetic my life is? My FBI agent comes and hangs out with me because he feels bad for me. He brings me cigarettes.
Speaker: My FBI agent comes over and he's like, hey, how you doing? I'm Thomas. I'm with the FBI. And I'm like, oh, I didn't do it. He's like, no, I just feel like you need somebody. You're fucking the most boring people on the fucking planet most of the time. You fucking suck. And you're boring as hell. Your greatest achievement this week was the fact that you beat a simple -minded garden gnome in a fantasy lineup. And you wore a belt your entire podcast. You just wait. I'm going to get you. I'm going to fucking, for that comment, right there.
Speaker: We're gonna do one of these starting lineups is gonna be something so fucking nerdy you have to watch fucking Star Wars and Harry Potter. And how are you gonna feel? And how are you gonna feel if I beat you at your own game? I'm telling you. I'm gonna do a Harry Potter fucking trivia section just so you fucking lose. I live with two of the biggest Harry Potter fans. You can't get help from the kids. I can do whatever I want.
Speaker: I won't need help from the kids. I won't need help from the kids either. I've read the books, and I'm proud to say I've read the books, and they're the only books I've ever read. Voldemort. Voldemort, game over, I win.
Speaker: You want to know why? You want to know why I would? Because we shall not speak his name. He who we shall not speak his name. And I spoke his name. Yeah, Harry whooped his ass. Harry whooped his ass twice. Harry needed help. Three times technically. I seen it. I seen it. He needed help. Technically three times. He needed help. He couldn't do it on his own. I seen it. Harry's a bitch. That's why his parents left him and he was an orphan. And his aunt and uncle locked him in a closet. He really needed to watch those movies.
Speaker: I'm telling you, you're going to have to, you're going to take yourself down to Walmart and get you one of these fancy belts right here. They're only like 10 bucks. I got to find one. I don't know. I don't know what they have in here. I have to look. I'll make my own. I guarantee they got, I guarantee they've got it. I'll make my own. I guarantee they have either WWE or AEW or Lucha Libre. You should get a Lucha Libre belt. I'll get me a mask. I want a mask.
Speaker: I want a mask so bad, dude. You don't even know. My buddy, my friend of mine, Tommy. Wonderful. He's got a Washington football team, AKA the Lucha Libre mask.
Speaker: Yeah, it covers the whole thing. He's wearing that instead of your actual mask. Yeah, right. He's a Washington Redskins fan or Washington football team now. And he's got one with their colors on it. Nice. And I want a Cleveland Browns one. So bad. I could probably get that made.
Speaker: I'm gonna get a dino mask. I told you, bring your dino mask up here. I'm gonna say you a fucking Chewbacca mask. Oh no, it just looks like you. I was gonna say, that's not even good. You just have to duct tape your mouth shut, and you sound like Chewbacca, too. I can't do it. I've literally called myself a Sasquatch.
Speaker: Is the dino mask going to go in our drawer? Summer? That's not a drawer. That's a bucket. No, no, no. We have a drawer up here.
Speaker: I saw the video. That holds my gun and other accessories. This is a weird ass drawer. My battery died, or else I was sent in when I went to go look it up. I showed Jeff the mask, remember? I showed Jeff the video.
Speaker: Yeah. I showed Jeff the video. It's caught here on the show. I saw TikTok today, and it made me think of you. So this girl holding up, she goes up, she goes, I just want everybody to see this little banana. It's so cute and so little. And this guy stitched it, and he goes, that's not a little banana. You just have really big hands. That is an average size banana. I lost it. I was like, I need to send this to Chris, but my battery died.
Speaker: True story. Anyways. You know what time it is, Jeff. Yes. I had to say it.
Speaker: I'm going to tell you a story. I'm going to tell you a couple of stories. So listen to this. Listen to this. OK, listen. I got to do one today, Jeff. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's got all kinds of fun little gadgets and gadgets on it. I can do because I'm so great. I should have played this earlier when I won the championship.
Speaker: You really should have. I'm just a man. Just a man with a list. For when Jeff's wrong? Oh, don't worry. Another one that plays.
Speaker: This is how we're going to start our draft picks, just so you know, from moving forward. Let's get ready to run by! When you talk too much? Shut up! I'm a child. I'm a child with a new toy. You're someone that has way too much time on their hands. As someone that formerly had way too much time on his hands, I know the feeling.
Speaker: I work really hard, Jeff. Oh, my FBI agent's here. I got to go. Your beer's being delivered. Oh, nice. Anyways, on the nonsense school news desk.
Speaker: I'm Glick, I'm your anchor extraordinaire. And I have news stories for you tonight, Jeffrey. Okay. Bob? Where are we going? Get them all fueled up, get them all fired up. We might use all three tonight, but we're gonna start...
Speaker: Bob's gonna have to, I'm not going anywhere, Bob's gonna have to fly you up here on nonsensical nonsense number one. So we're going to Ohio. We are going, I'm gonna take the bus, you're gonna have to fly up. So Bob's pulled his brother in, Billy Bob. Billy Bob's driving the, actually Billy Bob's flying the plane, I trust Bob more than I trust Billy Bob, so.
Speaker: Good. Good luck. We have a chopper. You didn't, you didn't, you didn't, you didn't run this.
Speaker: I didn't buy it. I didn't buy it. I didn't buy it. I did not approve. I did not approve this purchase. I've already spent our names on the side. I picked the master seats. It's a shotgun, bitch. Shotgun. Because I got to fly this some bitch. All right. Well, if you bought a helicopter without my
Speaker: without my approval, at least tell me you got an Apache, so we got guns and rockets and stuff. Oh, yes, of course. Yes. Well, I identify as an Apache helicopter, so... I can do that. I thought you identified as a cum dumpster. I identify as a raccoon. I'm cute, ugly, bags are in my eyes, and I'll fight you.
Speaker: Billy Bob is Bob's twin brother, his uncle brother. That's where his mom's his dad and his dad's his brother. Yeah. Well anyways, stolen Ohio bridge found man facing theft charge.
Speaker: Okay, that raises the question, how do you steal a bridge? Well, sir, let's dive into this, shall we? Akron, Ohio. Of course, it's not far from here. It's not far from where you're from either. Oh, shit. It's only about an hour and a half, maybe two hours for me. Exactly. Akron is super close to fucking Melville.
Speaker: An acronym a 58 foot long pedestrian bridge stolen from an Ohio City last month has been found and a man is facing charges police said
Speaker: Where do you hide a 58 foot bridge? How do you steal a 58 foot bridge? Has somebody got a socket set for Christmas? What else did you steal to steal this bridge? Akron Police said investigators acting on tips and other information. There's a 58 foot bridge. Jesus Christ Bob, it's a three foot ditch. Joke the fucker.
Speaker: You're not hiding a 58 -foot bridge bite in any way, shape, or form. He's like, I needed something to cover the ditch in my front yard so I could drive. Yeah, right? A 54 -foot fucking bridge, Jesus. Yeah, Bob's apparently making money, making money working for us. So he done dug himself a motor around his double wide trailer. Yeah, no shit. He needed to get out of his fucking trailer. I needed money to get a fucking bridge money. Jesus. Right?
Speaker: So Akron police said investigators acting on tips and other information Friday afternoon found the missing span partially disassembled on a property in Sharon Township and neighboring Medina County. A man has been arrested and charged with felony theft police said the Akron Bridge described as a Lego like structure once crossed a river in Akron's Middlebury Run Park near Goodyear's World Headquarters.
Speaker: I can see the tip -lack guy now. Hello? Yes, I'd like to report a bridge in my fucking backyard. It covers three fucking houses properly. Right? But the Akron Bridge, once described as a Lego -like structure, once crossed over a river in Akron's Middlebury Run near Goodyear's World Headquarters, where Goodyear tires are made.
Speaker: of and uh, little like it. Ohio is known for a lot of things. I mean, the uh, the uh, the footballs that are, the, the, the footballs that are made for the NFL are made in Canton.
Speaker: and football was started. And as I learned from Jeff, of all fucking people, yes. Football started in Canton. The one thing sports I know is Canton was where football started. The bridge was taken down in 2003 and 2004 as part of a wetland restoration project and was stored on park property with plans for it to be reused for a battered women's shelter project. Oh, that's cool.
Speaker: Is that Roman? It is Roman. Acknowledge me! I'm your tribal chief. I won this, Jassy Man. Being the first ever champion of the... He won it, but he bought it himself. His tax is deductible. You don't like that one? You don't like that one? I got another one for you. I can go old school with the John Cena spinning championship and spin my...
Speaker: I can hear the plastic from here. That's what Cash came in here and yelled at before. He's like, why do you have my belts, Dan? I'm like, shut up. I need them. I'm the champ. They're mine, damn it. I bought them. Anyways, so yes, they were going to actually use the bridge that they took down to build a battered woman shelter.
Speaker: So, I mean, they were going to repurpose it. Yeah. Yeah. Police discovered on November 3rd that someone had removed the treated deck boards of the 10 foot wide, six foot tall structure on November 11th and found that the metal frame had been taken.
Speaker: Yeah, much like, what was that? Who sang that song back in the day? Where he worked at the Chevy factory and he stole the Chevy part by part. Was it Johnny Cash? It's a Cadillac, it's a Cadillac. Or it was a Cadillac, it was a 1957, 58, 59. It's called One Piece at a Time by Johnny Cash. Yeah, yeah, it was like. It's called One Piece at a Time and a dude calls me a dime.
Speaker: This motherfucker took the time. This motherfucker took the time.
Speaker: Yep, I love that song. 1957, 58, 59. He's like, it's got a 1957 tail light and a 56 tail light. And if I had the money, I would build an exact replica by the song and I'd be like, fuck yeah. So you get this. So this bridge was taken apart, taken apart, basically piece by piece. As I said, somebody got a sock and stuff for Christmas and decided to use it.
Speaker: a 63 year old man. 63 years old. Well, in 63 years, how much tools can you collect? He got his new impact gun and he was like, check out the new DeWalt. I can be a NASCAR pit crew or I can steal that bridge.
Speaker: So yeah 63 year old man was charged with a felony theft according to Akron police and court records authorities alleged that he paid a truck company for crane service and the firm picked up the bridge and took it to Medina County so he paid an outside company to just
Speaker: No, I think what he did is he took most of it apart and then he was like fuck I want he took the wood off and he's like I want the metal structure too and He's like fuck. I don't have a torch. So he called a movie company Yeah, either way he hired a crane company a construction company with a crane to come out put it on a flatbed truck and haul it and
Speaker: The suspect was scheduled for arraignment later this week and Akron Municipal Court and officials said Monday that he has no attorney yet listed phone numbers for him or not in service. The bridge is expected to be shipped back to Akron in the coming days. I'm sure he wasn't just gonna leave it sit around on his property.
Speaker: He was going to use it. Oh, he was going to do something with it. He was, he was, he was thinking they're not using it. They're just going to let it rock. Yeah. As, as the kids say these days, he was finning to do something with it. Yeah, he was. Finning, not fixing. Yeah. I know I'm fitting. Yeah.
Speaker: But yeah, considering getting hired is somebody having to talk about leaving a paper trail. Yeah, exactly. There's so much more news to this one I looked at this morning. I'm going to save that for Saturday, because that's a fun little Christmas story. Okay. Okay.
Speaker: All right, Jeffrey, let's get sexy with the news. We like to get sexy. Yeah, exactly. A man? He got an impact. A cordless impact. Yeah. Well, I was talking to my pops about a cordless impact. He said he's got a mill walking with a 20 volt, and it took the lug nuts off his backhoe, no problem.
Speaker: Didn't even budge. It was just... He did it. It was the fastest thing he's ever seen. So maybe that's what that guy got. Maybe. Well, like I said, let's, uh, let's get sexy with the news here. Bob. Where are we going? Load the bus on the plane. We're going to one of our favorite places. How big is our fucking plane? It's, it's stupid big. C -130. Don't worry about it. Don't, don't, don't.
Speaker: Again again to my list of things my hats that I wear here I am the budget coordinator as well. So, you know, I know what's going on. I know where the money's going Don't worry about it. You just turn your camera. I send you the receipts You just you just turn your camera on and look like a snowflake guard
Speaker: That's coming out of your share, though. That's the funny thing about it, is all the purchases come out of your half of the money. Yeah, exactly. I'm like, how come I only made $5? Well, Jeff, we only made $10 this month. We only made $10 this month. That's your cut. I'm sorry.
Speaker: Look, how did you get that brand new? How did you get that brand new Chevy? It's been a good year at work. Yeah. You've only been there three months. Oh, it's faced really well. You've only been there three months. I picked the wrong job. Maybe I should go work with fucking others, dude. That's a brand new truck. That shit ain't even out on the market yet. Yeah, I know some people. Yeah, right. I know some people that rob some people. I know a guy who knows a guy, all right? Forget about it, all right? There's nothing for Gazy going on here.
Speaker: well yeah we're gonna go to our favorite place one of our favorite one of our favorite states Florida oh no you gotta do it like that you gotta do it like the Ricola commercials Florida yeah or down there we can we can
Speaker: We can antagonize Kevin in person. Kevin, we're coming to see you. We're on our way down. I think you're going to get a kick out of this one. You seem to be on this wagon. A man was kicked off of a flight for wearing a woman's thong as a face mask.
Speaker: Well, Adam Jettie was removed from a flight from a flight in the United States in Fort Lauderdale, to be more precise. After he wore women's underwear as a face covering, a man was kicked off of a flight in the United States for wearing women's underwear as a face mask. And the footage that has been shared widely online, Adam Jean,
Speaker: is seen wearing a pink phone over his face as he prepares for the domestic flight from Fort Lauderdale to Washington. A flight attendant can heard be saying, you're going to have to come off the plane. We're not going to let you travel.
Speaker: Jennings removal from the flight sparks a show of support from fellow passengers with several reportedly getting up to leave. The man admits that he attempted the stunt to highlight the absurdity of mask wearing rules on flights. He said, there's nothing more absurd than having to wear a mask until I get to cruising altitude so I can order Tito's by the double and snack on pretzels and illustrating that the absurdity by wearing women's underwear on the face sounds perfect.
Speaker: He's an anti -masker. No, you know, at the end of the day, wearing a mask for that long on a flight just sounds ridiculous. Like when we went to go see Spider -Man, I was like, wait, we don't have to wear masks when we're sitting down at the seats today. Well, dude, put it in over there or else Austin will do it.
Speaker: Maybe he feels sexy. That old saying, women don't buy a lingerie for you, they can feel sexy. Maybe he feels sexy. Exactly. Do you think he put on me? I need that. What do you need it for? I'm a champ, you peckerhead. That's why.
Speaker: For what? I am the champ, motherfucker. Who won? Who won? Acknowledge me. Who won? I guarantee you. Who won? If we had more followers. I won. For what? Tiana would have looked all over you. No, he wouldn't have. Oh, my God. Based off of our... We do a fantasy draft. We're doing a top five starting lineup, and I won the first one. That's why I have my championship belt today.
Speaker: No, because if you look, oh, you can't look because you won't log into it. But if you go on Anchor and look at our Demograph, our Demograph is, basically our Demograph is people like 30 to 45. Hey, Dad. Okay. And then there's the other one. So, what? I won. You won what? All right, we'll take your belt and get out of here. Not that, hey, take your hat. It's not about that.
Speaker: so I gotta go with that one. What's up? I got another one. I got another one here. So yeah, I mean, yeah, I was just a guy making a anti -mask statement, which I feel like
Speaker: You and Kevin are gonna go touch yourselves to him. No, but you know what? At the end of the day, there's literally, I mean, they're like, hey, wear this mask for takeoff, but as soon as you're eating, take it off. Yeah, hold on. Cass brought me more for my collection. I have so many of them.
Speaker: What did you say, bud? I said, I'm not surprised, I guess. You're not surprised I won? I know, because look at all this gold I have, Jeffrey. Look at all this gold I have. I'm going to have a belt for every time I win. I have so much gold, they can call me Midas. Every time I win, I'm going to add a belt to my collection.
Speaker: I'm gonna have to go buy a cash more WWE belts. You just gotta excuse to buy more WWF stuff. Don't judge me, I am who I am. What's that TikTok sound? I'm an adult, I make adult money and I use it for childish things.
Speaker: No, but the absurdity that this guy's talking about is once you get on the plane and they're like, wear the mask, then you take off and they're like, dude, you'd like some hot nuts. So you take your mask off to eat the nuts. This is like, because there's no COVID after you got food in front of you. Yeah, as long as you got a food or drink in front of you, duh. That's like, dear Plexiglas, thank you for saving me from the cashier that's attached to everything I bought. Yeah, right?
Speaker: Science man. Yeah. Stop, stop arguing with the science. Okay. Well, it sucks to be you. All right. Anyways, in, in other news, like I said, we're going to keep it sexy. Yeah.
Speaker: A woman who married a tree is happy to share with her boyfriend. I'm good.
Speaker: Woman who married her trees revealed her boyfriend doesn't mind the competition Kate Cunningham changed her surname to elder in 2019 after tying the knot with a tree that resides in Mary side and now And has now revealed that her relationship with nature is totally is not totally exclusive So we got
Speaker: This crazy bitch, who married a tree, who somehow, someway, found an equally crazy dude to be her boyfriend. As we said, there is an ass for every seed. Yes. Kate's boyfriend has supported her marriage to the tree and often joins her as she kisses and cuddles her partner.
Speaker: They have a little menager there with the tree. When he gets pissed off, he cuts down the tree. Right. Cape revealed that she visits the tree up to five times a week and is planning on visiting on Boxing Day, so it doesn't feel left out of festive celebrations. This is in fucking Canada. I fucking knew it.
Speaker: I thought it was going to be Canada or the UK. It's Canada. Bob, we're staying in Florida. We're safer in Florida than we are in Canada. No shit. Out of all the statements to be 100 % unbelievably true, Florida is safer than Canada at this point. It's a giant setup. O -M -G. She told Lad Bible, it is our third Christmas together now. So it almost feels like traditions to get decorations out for her tree. Her husband. Her tree. Tree's been. Tree's been?
Speaker: A tree? Is a tree a male or a female? Yeah, a tree's been... Yeah, that's true. What does the tree identify as? The tree's like, I am just a fucking oak tree minding my own fucking business. Does this tree like an apple tree or something? So she can like, give me a gift, you know? Or is this just like a fucking pine tree?
Speaker: Kate said when I was putting them up, the tree was as attractive to me as ever in the bright December sun. I made a reef. I made a reef from Holly. Yeah. I really feel that if this was a dude telling this story, he'd just be arrested and be like, dude, shut the fuck up. He'd be putting home. Yeah. She said I made a wreath.
Speaker: from holly, ivy, pine, and red winter berries, which I forged from a walk over the weekend. Plus I added a little spray of festive glitter. Female trees bear fruit juices. I don't know what, I don't know what kind of. I thought trees were asexual. I mean, I'm no fucking botanist, but I mean, I don't know.
Speaker: Don't get wrong, Joe. I believe you. I'm not. I'm not. This is not the hill I'm going to die on. Trust me. I just think they're both all crazy. The whole fucking lot of them. I mean, the fact that, again, that she should be turned into paper and sent to her as Christmas paper, as we've stated and asked for every seat. Yeah. But this chick found somebody
Speaker: to be her that is just willing and able and acceptable like oh yeah my girlfriend is married to a tree it's cool because I like to go out to her trees bin and and make out and cuddle with it too yeah we have a three -way
Speaker: Well, what's that old Clint Eastwood line? I'm going to go ahead and stick it in my own fence because... Mmm, something like that. I don't know. I gotta go find some chicken. I'm just... I mean, no, but at the end of the day, I get it. I get... Some people are just out there. And, and maybe... I, I, I... But a tree, though. I mean... That's... Wow. Wow.
Speaker: wow that's oh my gosh however there is a there is a service
Speaker: This just reminds me of this, but there's a service that when you die, you can actually be buried with a seed for a tree and become a tree hugger. Yeah, you can become a tree hugger. Yeah, you can become a tree, but Joseph puts a new saying to a tree hugger. Well, it's not that far fetched because there have been stories through the years. Well, didn't there be one lady there at the Empire State Building?
Speaker: Yeah, there's a lady who married the Empire State Building. I think there was a woman who's in love with the Eiffel Tower. Another woman was in love and married a Ferris wheel. There was a lady, and I think you and I talked about this several episodes back, more in the beginning, there was a lady that married the ghost of a pirate who then wanted to divorce him because
Speaker: Yeah, because he was going out with all of his ghost friends and staying out all night and partying and this and the other thing. So, I mean... When does the crazy stop? I mean, where do you crawl the line? It doesn't. Where do you crawl the line? That's the problem. We can't, but you can't, because that's the world we live in now, because you have to cater and you have to be sensitive to everybody's most... I know this is like...
Speaker: I'm pulling the e -brake and I'm drifting to some bitch cleaner around the corner, but we are literally at the point where certain groups are catering to fucking pedophiles.
Speaker: They are catering two pedophiles and want to put them in the LBGTQ alphabet warriors. The champ Glick is in the hizzle. You're goddamn right I am Cameron. The first time ever champion of the starting lineup. I even wore my Forrest Gump Jersey to celebrate with my number one overall draft pick. You'll never hear it ever. You could beat me 20 times in a row.
Speaker: in the fact that I'm the first ever person. This is the equivalent to marrying a fucking tree. I did. I did. But it was close. It was actually a really... I won, and I'm giving Jeff shit, and I'm giving him out, and I'm bragging. But it was a 15 -11 victory, and I did not count mine and Jeff's votes. I want to recount. I think Paul's thoughts showed up at the end.
Speaker: Calm down, Trump. It's midnight. Calm down, Trump. No, but in all seriousness, what you're saying about people pandering to the whims of morons, basically, is destroying not only the country, but the world. Well, that's the world we live in. You know, that's the fucking world we live in. We cater
Speaker: to the stupid. Your champ is here. Clap for that, you stupid biker. Jeff wants a recap. At the end of the day, whatever makes you fucking happy, whatever floats your boat, there's an answer. Hey, you know what? No, exactly. But there's got to be some point where everybody goes, wait, what? Really? Jeff. Jeff. I told you.
Speaker: We're keeping it sexy in the news tonight, right? We're keeping it stupid. We're keeping it stupid and we're keeping it sexy. So I'm about to bring the stupid. I'm about to bring the stupid and I'm about to bring the sexy from a single story fall dive head first. Well,
Speaker: My luck, I'll be reincarnated as a fucking moron that marries trees. You'll be... You'll be reincarnated as a tree that's married to us. You'll be forced into... Unconsensual melange trois with two stupid people. What the fuck is going on? I just took a podcast 20 minutes ago. Why are these people hugging me? Why am I a fucking tree?
Speaker: Why are they licking me? Get back off of me! Please, please let me tell me I'm infested with termites when I die. Well, Bob, let's leave Canada fly us to Arizona. Okay. Where a man claims, where a man claims drinking his own urine or drinking urine has helped him keep a six pack.
Speaker: Yeah, that's what I said. Wow. Troy Casey says that drinking his own urine on a daily basis has helped him maintain an impressive six pack. That's because he's fucking dehydrated. A former model claims that he has been able to maintain a six pack by drinking his own urine. Hey, what's going on Facebook?
Speaker: Acknowledge yourself because it just says anonymous Facebook user. Anonymous Facebook user. Let's see if I can figure it out. I mean, don't be wrong. I know you can drink your own urine. I get that. It's a survival thing. But at the end of the day, why would you willingly do that? And who the fuck thinks this is a good idea? I have the same problem. That's got to be my buddy, Alex. Yeah.
Speaker: But Troy Casey has maintained an impressive physique into his 50s, and he puts it down to drinking his own wee, which he has been doing on a daily basis for the past 17 years. Casey even goes to the lengths of doing week -long urine fast and placing aged urine. I can't believe this sentence is about to come out of my mouth. I was just about to say I can't believe you're about to say it.
Speaker: Aged... Aged urine enemas up his rectum. For those of you who can't see, I'm completely and utterly in fucking shock. Thank you Joe, I believe you. Cactus juice sounds tasty, comparatively speaking. I wouldn't drink my own urine on a fucking bet.
Speaker: I'm talking like a billion dollar bet. I'd still have to go. Hey, Jeff, how's your Friday night going? Pretty good. How's yours going? Well, Jeff, I got two -week -old urine in my freezer. I got my two -week -old urine in the freezer that I de -thawed and decided to shove it up my ass and just doosh away. You want to join? Let's make a weekend out of this shit.
Speaker: Oh my god. Once again, there's too many stupid people on the planet and I fear the coronavirus is killing the wrong ones.
Speaker: Try being a truck or trucker and reaching for the raw bottle. I've done that. I was like your bottle, but with my, uh, who, who is on Facebook comment? Uh, I, all we're getting is anonymous Facebook user. So please tell us who you are. I thought it was one person. Now I think it's another person. Uh, but, uh,
Speaker: But I have done that when I used to dip. I grabbed my dip bottle and took it. That's gross. Oh, it's Shane B. Holy shit, it's Shane B. What's up, Shane? What's going on, Shane? Shane was in there when I... Shane was the other one that I was getting fired up last Wednesday night. It was Shane and Kevin. I was getting them so riled up. Shane, you missed the last story. Kevin's going to have a field day with that one.
Speaker: Well, Kevin doesn't do anything outside of COVID and anti -Joe Biden. But it says Troy previously. So Troy was an actual model. He modeled for Versace, and he's a life coach and a healer. I don't know what that means, but whatever. He's not a coach in my life. He's like first number one traitor on piss.
Speaker: I'm good. I don't want the guy who's giving himself urine enemas to coach my life, but Casey from Arizona said in a recent interview, urine therapy is an ancient practice. It just doesn't get talked about a lot. Your own pee is full of amino acids, stem cell and antibodies. I drink my own urine every morning. I call it the, um, Oh, I call it the hair of the dog. The feeling is like applying
Speaker: He gets better with his age. Are you telling me this dude pisses in a compliment and just drinks it?
Speaker: I don't know what he does with it. I don't know how he does it. From the sounds of it, yes. Yes, he gets up every morning. He takes his morning piss into his coffee cup. He fries up some eggs and some bacon and toast them some toast. And he sits down and has his morning breakfast and washes it down with his morning piss. Well, it possesses somebody to go, you know, this sounds like a good idea. You know that first drink probably took you six months to work up to.
Speaker: He ages it for, he ages it. Yeah, well, yeah, that's the thing. I mean, it's, he, you know, not only does he do the age urine, um, I mean, with, with, with enemas, uh, but he, um, he says that it's a, it's a fountain of youth and age urine enemas are one of the ways I got my stomach so flat.
Speaker: Fuck that, I'll die fat and ugly. So Jeff, Jeff, get on the urine, get on the urine diet. God, the world's going to hell in a hand basket. Yeah, and we're right in the backseat going, let's do this. Yeah, well, well, we've had, we've had a, we've had a lady that married a tree and her and her boyfriend has menage a twas with the tree.
Speaker: Our grandfather drinks his own piss. We had a whole ass bridge stolen. That's fucked up. We've got urine enemas. And now we have... a man... I kinda envied this guy that... No, no. The final story I have for you. Okay. I'm not gonna lie, I'm jealous. If you tell me this dude eats his own shit, I'm gonna jump off his balcony.
Speaker: No. Thank God. I'm really jealous of this guy. Okay. Man with 278. 278. Penis, piercings. Insist. Who are you jealous of this man?
Speaker: Because he can fit 278 piercings on his pecker. I'd be lucky if I could fit one and a half on my pecker. He's got 278. I get your point.
Speaker: but he says that his sex life is great. I mean, I used to do tattoos and body piercing and I've seen people get their dick pierced. Most of them could imagine being the poor bastard who had to pierce that guy almost 300 fucking times. Pick that dick out of a lineup. Right. Talk about rib for her. Talk about rib for her for her pleasure.
Speaker: 278 years piercing. The healing process when you get a piercing is six months. Yeah. You're not supposed to have sex for six months after getting a piercing in your genitals. Well, well. So when has this guy ever had sex? Does he? Bob? Jesus. That's, ooh. Bob? That hurts my dick. Take us to Germany for this story.
Speaker: Oh, we'll go crash at Noah's place. Yeah, we'll go. Knock on the door. Probably not a good idea to say we're going to go crash at a 12 -year -old's house. Yeah, I just thought that as I said it. My only two 40 -year -old guys are going to hang out at my car house.
Speaker: Yeah. Well, uh, Ralph, Ralph Bush holes, Bush holes, uh, says that having 278 piercings on his penis hasn't had an effect on his sex life. Uh, Ralph's holds the Guinness world record, uh, for having 453 piercings all over his body.
Speaker: And the picture of this guy, like he's got the implants with the devil horns and his face is pierced about 400 times. He's got all the way across his eyebrows, both eyebrows. He's got implants on his, on his forehead. I'll see if I can get a, if I can get a screen grab. Here we go. I'll get a screen grab and chop it down and post it. Yeah. His ears are gauged out. But, um,
Speaker: He even has horn implants on his head. Despite the excessive amount of piercings in his intimate area, the record holder insists that it has not impacted his performances in the bedroom. Rolfe, from Dortmund in Germany, told the Daily Star newspaper, it's not a problem at all. If there was a problem, I would have gotten rid of them long ago.
Speaker: He also has a total of 94 piercings in and around his lips and explained how he was once declined entry into the, uh, United, uh, Arab Amer, Ameritize Amerites. Emirates. Emirates. Yeah. Something like that. I've seen it a million times. Yeah. And was feared that he could practice black magic. Nice.
Speaker: Um... Rolf recalled those who escorted me back to the plane. I must have been chanting. Yeah. And said it was because of the way I looked. Because I am black magic. I would have told his son to chant. Right? And waving my hands on the face. Just to watch them shit themselves. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: so i would like to piercings are very much like tattoos they're very addictive but it's something that you eventually grow out of piercings are some tattoos you don't really grow out of because i still want them yeah they're not they're not that they're not that addictive
Speaker: No, just like everything, there's always some asshole that takes it to the extreme. I don't know, what the hell's going on? Looks like Summer's out with her other fiance. But yeah, I mean... Sounds like she's feeling better. Maybe, maybe a little bit. But yeah, I mean...
Speaker: Like I said.
Speaker: A motherfucker must be swinging a guy named Hammer of the God. 278 piercings. And I understand, trust me, I understand how small piercings can be. On top of that, that includes the nutsack, too, I guarantee you. That's not just out of the shit. Oh, man, I can beat him. I can hit like 400 on my nutsack alone. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. It hangs to my knees. When it comes to genital piercings, you can do the nutsack.
Speaker: So he probably, he's probably got like three in his dick. Well, as we, as, as we discussed several episodes back, I mean, we went to school with a guy who had a Jacob slider.
Speaker: Yeah. And he had eight piercings on his junk that none of us believed until he fucking slammed you down on the lunch table one day. Yeah. And it was just like, I'm done eating lunch. All of a sudden, I'm not hungry. I don't know why. Appreciate it. Thanks, pal. Thank you for ordering lunch for life. And that is all I have in news, Jeffrey.
Speaker: That is, once again, but like I said, no matter what the thing is, everything and anything can and will be taken to the extreme by some asshole. 100%. He's just that asshole. Absolutely. And it's all about, and it's usually for a piece of paper from Guinness. I told you, I was bringing the sexy in news tonight. Jesus.
Speaker: It'll be a little bit more wholesome and a little bit more family -friendly come Saturday night. Yes. Christmas. We're gonna bring Christmas sexy! Speaking of Christmas and sexy, have you seen the new TikTok trend with the ring light? Yeah. Have you seen the old man turn into Santa Claus?
Speaker: Yeah, so good. How fucking good is it? I saw one today. It was an old man. Wait, did you see it? An old man, an old black man, an old woman, and what looked like to be a Latin dude. And the Latin dude, I was like, what's he gonna do? And he turned into the fucking Grinch. Nice. It was, the old woman, the older woman, she was Mrs. Claus, the old white guy was Santa Claus, the old black guy was Santa Claus, and the Latin dude turned into the fucking Grinch, and it was genius.
Speaker: Did you see did you see the duet with the guy who did Santa Claus and it was a little kid little kids? Yes, yes I showed it to my daughter. I was like see even Santa Claus That was the reaction on those kids Right, oh dude, it was so fucking cute is heartwarming but speaking speaking of speaking of thirst traps I have an old video that I made that I
Speaker: Well, the ring light. The ring light. I have an old video that I'm debating posting on our page. Okay. It was like one of the few times that I did a thirst trap. It's good. Be afraid. Be very afraid. Oh, it's good. We'll get some likes and some follows.
Speaker: You know, the problem for me with doing stuff like that, it just looks like a shit ton of editing. Well I mean, if you're... My TikToks only take me two, three TikToks. Yeah, I mean if you're naturally sexy, then there's not a whole lot of editing. I don't have to edit, I can just back it up. I don't do sexy. I don't do thirst traps. No, I don't do sexy. I don't do thirst traps either.
Speaker: I do fun. But I've done, I've literally done like two.
Speaker: I don't have the confidence to pull a third strategy. And what I came across the other day, just because for whatever reason, this fucking thing is like two years old, and people started liking and commenting on it again. And I was like, I forget. I get weird videos. I get weird likes from like my third or fourth TikTok I ever did. And I'm like, what? Yeah. So I was like, man, I forgot about that. So I saved it. And I was like, I should post that on Nonsense for Nonsense.
Speaker: Maybe we'll get some follows. Yeah, right. But yeah, that's all I have in news. So let's take a real quick break. And I got another, I got another. Decent little top 10. Top 10. Super sized edition. And I think we're going to have fun with. Excellent. I think it's going to go right up there with. No. Oh, wait.
Speaker: It didn't go away. The sound crisp makes me lose it. It didn't go away. I knew exactly what happened. When I thought it went away, I was like, oh my god, I'm going to have to find it again. That is the sound crisp meaning it's pants, folks. I think this is going to be another fun one that you and I are going to have a lot of fun with, and it's a supersized edition. Excellent. It'll fit right up there with news and stupid people.
Speaker: Nice, I like these. And Summer's Brawl just broke. So on that, we're going to take a break. Broken Brawl, break time for the party. And off to break. Join our little Blacktop Mojo. Again, if you guys aren't already, if you don't know who they are, if you've never listened to their music, all social media platforms, anywhere you can stream music, just type in Blacktop Mojo. Go check them out.
Speaker: comment and like their stuff and when you comment tell them that nonsense will nonsense sent you just to confuse the hell out of Matt and Kat. Well on top of that they don't have any bad songs.
Speaker: Absolutely not not not absolutely not and that's why I've been actually this has been the one good thing It's come out of this HAPS update is I can dive into the archive and I can play a lot of stuff that we typically don't play So with that being said, here's a little blacktop mojo for you Enjoy and we'll be back here in just a few minutes
Speaker: I see your silhouette, the gangster at sunset The wind blows through my hands, it leads me to the west I've drifted many days, still I'm half -wandering Will I ever find my way?
Speaker: And I look for that day
Speaker: And I've walked through this land But I don't understand I look up to the sky But still I see no sign I bow my head and pray Is anyone listening? Will I ever find my way?
Speaker: For the end of the day For the end of the day
Speaker: What lies on the other side Between the truth and lies Deep down I wanna know why We live to die We die
Speaker: They got you. Damn it, I knew it.
Speaker: I knew that. Hell yeah. Just as soon as I clicked, I was like, they got me. I actually did that on purpose. I love that song. But I knew that song was going to get you. Yeah, I knew it. But I'll go back to that. I was sitting there watching it. I was like, eh, three, two, three. See how the ring starts swinging?
Speaker: We'll go back to not since we're not since y 'all the champ is here. Yeah. The current raining starting lineup champ Glick hanging out with from one of one, Jesus Christ, a loser, the first ever historical record breaking champion of the starting lineup.
Speaker: I'm hanging out with this loser. Donald Trump over here wanting to recount. That's what she tells Juan. She thought she was texting him and she texted that to you. Good night, Kevin. Chris says good night.
Speaker: Welcome back to Nonsense Go Nonsense, guys. If you're not already, go check us out on social media, at Nonsense Go Nonsense, on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and the ticky -tocky. Yeah, we have a TikTok, because we're cool with the Gen Z, that's how we get down. Sheeee! Except for there's almost more people our age on TikTok than there is. That's okay. That's okay. We're cool on TikTok. We're cool like the other side of the pillow.
Speaker: The first time I ever heard was the guy who screwed over Han Solo in Star Wars. The black guy. Lando Calrissian. Yeah I think he said that.
Speaker: Like in real life? No. Cool. Right by the side of the pillow. Billy Dee Williams. That's his name. Yeah, Billy Dee Williams. Billy Dee Williams. I've never heard of him say it. How did Billy Dee Williams not make our list? Fuck. You know what? That'd be a totally different list. That'd be like the top cool cats. Well, no, but he could be like, he would be on a list of non -headlining actors. Billy Dee Williams was a cool dude, though. He was like, yeah.
Speaker: Uh, oh yeah. So yeah, follow us on social media. You guys can join us live every Wednesday and Saturday night by following us on Haps, YouTube, Twitch, and again, Facebook and Twitter at nonsensical nonsense. And you can get every single episode of the podcast simply by giving us a follow, give us a listen on anchor Spotify, Google play Apple podcasts, basically anywhere and everywhere you get your podcasts and jollies from go give us a listen.
Speaker: and you can reach out to us on social media let us know what you think and if you don't want to reach out to us on social media you can always hit us up on the email and tell us that Jeff sucks and remind Jeff that I'm the champ
Speaker: I swear to God, I got one email saying that I lost or you're the champ or something. I'm going to fail. Oh, OK. That is your guy's job. That is your guy's job between here and Saturday. Send an email. Send an email at Nonsensical Nonsense podcast and tell him that Glick is the champ. That's all you got to do. Email Glick is the champ. It's true. It's facts.
Speaker: Let me fact check you, sir. You can fact check me. But at the end of the day, you're going to realize that I only speak in factuality. And here's the sad thing. This is probably going to be the only time you win. This is not going to be the only time I win. I'm going to beat you so bad when you try to come up with something like a Harry Potter thing. I'm going to beat you so bad that you will have to call me daddy.
Speaker: As we've discussed there are different variations of nerdy because I'm a nerd too
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, it was like comic book knowledge. I don't get down with that. Yeah, I just don't. I just don't get down with the sci -fi and the wizards. I never used to know this kid. I know a little bit. I know a little bit about my late teens, early twenties. I know a little bit about a little bit. I know enough to be dangerous. Yeah, well, I know a lot about a lot of things.
Speaker: That's generally my life in existence. I know just enough to be dangerous. Just enough not to blow myself up. Precisely. A little suspect, a little sus. As the kids say, a little sus.
Speaker: As long as my wife bought me workin' on electricity. I've seen your table, Salteffer. I don't have to ask your wife. Actually, I spent two years in building trains with you. I don't have to ask your wife any more. No, I didn't. When we first moved into our first place together, the meter was not there. Like the place that we had didn't have a meter. And they had two wires.
Speaker: Connecting the connections because it was such a new building and somebody ripped the wire out and I went to put it back and I grabbed the prong and You know you spread it out because it's literally, you know pushed together like this so you gotta slide it in so I Grabbed her pliers peel it open and I touched the side Fucking neighborhood
Speaker: Nice. And I still have burn on my finger. Like I said, Jeffrey.
Speaker: As far as being the champ goes, I need you to go to your local Walmart, pick you up a championship belt, and then maybe one day, maybe? I'll keep it in a glass box. This is break in case of a win. In case of a fucking miracle. In case hell freezes. Holy shit, Glick died and got into hell. I can break this and I am the champ. Finally.
Speaker: So what is your top 10 this week, sir? I'm very... Finally. It's a funny one. The Glick has come back. If you smell... Wow! What the Glick is cooking. It's pissed off your ass. I got a little championship.
Speaker: I got a little championship lip action for you real quick, Jeffrey. That is a reference that no one gets but us. That's terrible. It made me think about when I did the rock thing. So I had to hit you. I had to hit you with the champion lip action. Small, medium. I do have a top. Side. Side.
Speaker: I don't know why that shit was so funny, but dude, that shit would kill us. It's not that it was funny. It's that Bob was funny. Period. Yeah. And there's nothing better than a 300 -pound Mexican.
Speaker: that looks like a rock if the rock was a 300 pounds exactly is a spitting image of like a miniature version of the rock yeah if the rock was if the rocks if the rocks if the rock was 5 10 300 pounds in mexican and that's not and that's not any hate and or shade that's not that's not that's not
Speaker: Bob was one of our favorite people in our class. Maybe one of our favorites. That'd be a dream kid. We gotta get Bob on the show. Yeah, that's a tough call. He won't talk to you. No, I don't know why. I understand why. I don't know why I talk to you half the time, but here I am. I literally sent him stuff saying, hey, check this out for your business.
Speaker: because he does detail yeah i've sent him links for equipment he should look at there's a whole website of stuff just for detail i sent it to him he's never opened it i'm just gonna message you and be like hey can you at least respond to this just so i can show it to you exactly because you know exactly and then it'll turn into a whole gun barrel oh shit hey what's going on glake how have you been what's going on conversation saturday night bob comes off the ship i don't want to see this nice
Speaker: But I do have a supersized. It's my top 10, because it's my show, and I do everything, and I have a microphone. So here's my fucking top 10, you stupid freaks. That's just like your opinion. It's not my opinion. It's not my opinion. Not this one. It's three hours. I do have a, none of my top 10s are my opinion. No, but that was the original concept.
Speaker: well I have the I have a super -sized another Jeff I loved doing these super -sized top tens I specifically look for them but this one is the most random things to shout out in a crowd nice let's go Brandon
Speaker: We're going to start way down here at the bottom with number 25. Number 25. Isn't it weird that pineapples never wear bikinis? Hey, the meth is really working for you, huh buddy? Well, you are a noodle. Be gone.
Speaker: Dude, I will punch you in the mouth. What is wrong with you? Go to sleep. Go to sleep. I'm putting him to sleep. Tap out, you little bitch. Get out of my way. You just tap out. You can't swing on me after you tap out. That's why I'm the trick. Go away. I'm right in the middle of it. That's why you literally almost fell.
Speaker: You've watched one too many episodes of Cobra Kai. I don't like you, Cobra Kai. I like you, Rattle! Okay. Yeah, exactly. Look right here! Fucking, did you get into my meth? Not into that sugar. Jesus. Fucker, I tapped him out, then he swung on me. Little bitch, little Conor McGregor looking ass. Yeah, fuck you, Conor McGregor. McGregor, with your glass -ass jaw.
Speaker: Anyways Now that Jeff rant tried to do a run -in and steal my championship belt and I had to put him to sleep send him back to Cancun So coming in at number 24
Speaker: Random ass things just shout in the crowd. Physics! I'm gonna do that in the mall. Number 23. I like pork chops! Nice.
Speaker: There's not many food items that either one of us would turn down they look at us We're gonna have to pass Troy keep your pissed yourself, buddy Yeah, number 22 hi Billy Mays here nice
Speaker: But wait, there's more. Number 21, I feel like this should be so much higher. I'm sitting alone reading this list. I was laughing like an idiot. Cock!
Speaker: I can literally just see me doing every one of these through the mall. Out of a brand of nowhere. Just sitting on the bus. Cock! Fucking frets or something. Number 20. If guns feel... If gun... Words are hard. Words are hard. Number 20. If guns don't kill people, but humans kill people, toasters don't toast toast. Toast, toast, toast.
Speaker: Wrap your head around that one. Yeah, that's a tongue twister. And I'll say it again. If guns don't kill people, but humans kill people, toasters don't toast toast toast toast toast toast. Why toast to that?
Speaker: Just random grunts become our podcast. Spout that off on the ground. People are like, what? Number 19. I like juggling teddy bears while break dancing to the sound of a dishwasher. Just so you know.
Speaker: These sound like TikTok trends. Yeah, I don't know. Like your new TikTok job. Yeah. Just reactions. Everybody in the background is like, I like toast. Wait until all the kids come back to school at work and just walk into a crowd of them and be like, I like pork chops. Or as you're dropping your kids off to school. Yeah.
Speaker: Well, number 18. Can you say this any day of the week? It doesn't really matter. You know what day it is? Monday. Excuse me, everyone. I have the AIDS virus. Number 17. Yeah, go ahead and Charlie's shooting that one. Yeah, we haven't been to that.
Speaker: Not all of these are winners, folks. Not all of these are winners. Yeah, that's not a winner, but I wouldn't like to see the crowd's reaction. Yeah, number 16. Oh, balloon just flew out my ass. Are you chewing gum? Number 15. Compass is a microphone who can really eat things aether.
Speaker: It don't make no sense. That person has Tourette's. Yeah. I seen that and I was like, yeah, it don't make no sense, but we're doing it. We got to say it. Number 14, speaking of Tourette's, eat my pants. Sitting on a subway. Everything's quiet here. Eat my pants.
Speaker: Until the one guy on the subway gets up it grabs us a fork and knife out of his pocket and walks over and starts like cutting pieces We thought you were the strange one but truth be told he's the strange one
Speaker: Yeah, exactly. Welcome to New York. Next stop please. Number 13 is not. Plug your ears if you're sensitive and if you're a snowflake. Number 13. This is like retards humping a doorknob. That's like that saying from Days of Thunder. It's like watching a monkey fuck a football.
Speaker: This one has this one has asterisks with it. So Someone looks at you You shout stop looking as you cover yourself and shout again. Stop looking You know happens all the time you'll catch somebody looking at you yeah I Am NOT a piece of me. I am a man. I
Speaker: Number 11, this has been in a top 10 before. Aloo Akbar. This was in the funeral in a top 10. Once again, I would love to see the crowds reaction. Yeah, well, it could overlay because you're in a crowd and somebody yells that. It's about to be bombs on Baghdad. It's about to be bad.
Speaker: Number 10 has Asterix again. You tap on somebody's shoulder and ask them. Can I smell your butt? That's funny because I say that. I had to hit him with the ASMR. Hey, excuse me. Can I smell your ass? Number nine.
Speaker: Have you seen my dog? He's six foot tall and hates heights. He's brown and thinks he's got swag. Somebody lose Chris on the ground.
Speaker: hey well maybe if chris maybe if chris's complexion was a little bit darker is where that was going let me let me explain it to you yeah let that sink in jerry the wheels were turning but there was no grip the lights are on and nobody's told
Speaker: Front porch looks like runway lights, but whatever. Yeah, let me say that again. Have you seen my dog? He's six foot tall, hates heights, he's brown, and thinks he's got a swag. Calm down, Chris Brown. I don't think Chris Brown is six foot tall. I think he might be like five, two and a half, but still. Number eight. One time I died, but I got better.
Speaker: Worms. Worms make me crazy. Crazy. I was crazy once. They put me in a hospital. I died there. Then the worms came. Worms. Worms make me crazy. And there'll be one asshole in that group that's like, you would go, ZOMBIE! Exactly. Just a lot of switchblade. Number seven. Shh. Ah, the piños are sleeping.
Speaker: I love the blank look that you get on your face when I get close to my camera. Because I know it's going to get good and I start listening. Intentively. I got secret ashes all over the fucking place. I am literally blowing everything.
Speaker: around my setup because my ashtray is under my microphone and every time I come in close for the effect, ashes are everywhere. Number six, a giant baby head squished Obama.
Speaker: sometimes you just gotta let things simmer sometimes you just gotta let things simmer sometimes you just gotta let things simmer sometimes you just gotta let things simmer sometimes you just gotta let things simmer sometimes you just gotta let things simmer sometimes you just gotta let
Speaker: Hey, how you doing? I'm Glick. I'm the host of non -sensical nonsense. I'm also the reigning champion of the starting lineup. Yes. First time, one time, only time champion of the starting lineup. Just so you know, put that out there. I put that on my resume. Well, you know what, Jeffrey?
Speaker: Some of us were meant to be winners and some of us were meant to be losers. So maybe how do you know I don't let you win? You're not that smart. And this is a lot because I'm not that smart either. We both had to think about that one for a second. Wait a minute.
Speaker: Yeah. We're not that clever. This fucker tried to take a shot at me. Think. Did he? Even you thought that for a second. Yeah. Did he? No, he's not that smart. Let me go ahead and backfire. He's like a 1978 Chevette. He's pushing the gas, but all he's doing is backfire.
Speaker: I actually have no, I have no idea how far the Shavets go back, but I do know that Shavets were notorious for backpacking. All right, folks, we are in the top five, in the top five. Did you know I'm the champion? Oh, Jesus Christ. So I got a belt on my shoulder. But number five, Jeffrey. Yes. Sometimes when I'm alone,
Speaker: I like to dress up in all brown, lay on the floor and pretend I'm a potato. Me too! This is why our FBI agents want to kill themselves.
Speaker: Did I get reassigned to anything? My FBI agent, Ollie, he's like, we got him. He got vaxxed. We've got him chipped and microphone. And they're like, oh, so, hey, Thomas. Jesus Christ. We got a new assignment for you. Just a brand new vaccination. He's like, yes. His name's Glick. Oh, fuck. I'm already watching his phone and computer and everything else.
Speaker: Thomas goes into a closet and all you hear is, POW! He just starts weeping. He opens the closet and he's in a fetal position just rocking back and forth. You alright there, Thomas? Fucking hate you. Don't worry, Thomas. I know we don't know each other, but you complete me. You know me. And I can't quit you. You complete me, Thomas. I can't quit you, Thomas.
Speaker: I love you Thomas. We be mine forever and ever and ever and ever.
Speaker: Okay, I've seen the episode where Glick did the PSA on how to tell if your gun's loaded or not. Let me, let me, it's loaded, I see it, okay. I'll just blame Alec Baldwin. Where's Alec Baldwin? Alec Baldwin, can you point this gun and pull the trigger? You know you weren't supposed to. Hey, number four, Jeff. Don't freak out, but my neighbor lives next door to me.
Speaker: I like that. Can't fact check that. No, sir. Number three. Once I saw a purple cow flying and I named it Phillip. Where you are, magic mushrooms? Thank God for Colorado and legalizing marijuana.
Speaker: Thanks a lot Colorado. Number two. I have said this more times than I can count. Actually I said it the other night in a group chat when we were talking about our Facebook group chat with Kevin and Cam and Cam's brother and another friend of ours, the Jolly Green Asian, the 14 and a half foot tall Filipino.
Speaker: Somehow they got on the subject of who could fight Who in our group and who would win? And then it came down to Do you guys are a click? Do you think you could you could beat up or you think you could win against all of us? and I was like absolutely I'd beat every one of you within an inch of your life because I was I
Speaker: And then it was like, well, what about all at the same time? And I simply said that I would grab Cameron because he's the smallest in the group and I would use him as a Billy club. Yeah, I would beat the other three to delve. So number two, feeding in on that was number two is I will beat you with a small child.
Speaker: And number one, to go back to number five, number one, potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I'm a potato. And that's enough internet for me.
Speaker: Have you seen the TikTok video of that guy on the escalator in Vegas or something and he spouts off something weird? No. And people react. You haven't seen this? He's supposedly on the phone and he's like, but mom, dad likes it when I lick his ass or something like that. And the people in front of him or behind him are like, what the fuck did this dude just say? These are some of the things that he would say. Yeah. You know what I mean? These would make amazing TikTok reaction videos.
Speaker: Right? I'm just saying. I mean... I mean, we're not going to do it. I'm just trying to end up on a list, but I wish I had the moxie, so to say, to be in a group of people and go.
Speaker: I smell your ass. Once again, New York subway. Welcome to York motherfucker. You'll have a lineup. Well, in New York you wouldn't even ask. You would just, you would just, you would just do it. You would just do it. But that is another, uh, I was gonna say, why is there a new login on our Twitter account? But that was you.
Speaker: Can I so so so that is the that's that is the end of the top 10 super -sized edition Yeah, but as I was on Twitter, I just seen something okay, and Okay, I want to say something about a female actress that I don't feel like she gets enough love I
Speaker: for being underratedly hot okay and I hate I hate this fucking show and I hate this goddamn comedian I hate this goddamn comedian but from Seinfeld Julia Louise Dreyfus
Speaker: Right? She has her moments. I'll give you that. She has a sexiness about her. Yes. I can see it. Not necessarily. She wouldn't make my top 10 of oddly good looking women. But. And the only reason that popped into my head. Yeah, because I was just looking at Twitter for a second. And shout out to Twitter for the retweets and everything like that. We appreciate you guys. Oh, that's awesome. Somebody had a picture of them and
Speaker: Jason Alexander. Oh, okay. And then for whatever reason, Julia Louise Dreyfus popped into my head. I don't like that show. I don't like that show, and I don't like Jerry Seinfeld. I tried to watch it. I don't think Seinfeld. They put it on Netflix, and I tried to watch it. Yeah, and so many people were just - For a hundred thousandth time, I've tried to watch it, and I just can't get into it. Yeah, so many people are like, oh, Seinfeld's so funny. And this is like, it's really not, and there's nothing funny about Seinfeld, because -
Speaker: Oddly enough, and this is something that... What is the deal with Erwin? Shut up Seinfeld. Yeah, exactly. But the concept of the show Seinfeld was that it was about nothing. So if you really think about it, it's the preemptive to nonsensical reasons. It was essentially... It was...
Speaker: This is this is really a reach and you know about reaches through 10 holes But it was it was it was like the real like the average Joe's real version of friends It was it was it was normal go with that it was it was normal people in New York that were single and living a normal life and
Speaker: with real struggles, not dumb shit. Oh my god, I live in a $10 ,000 apartment but I only make $1 ,000 a month. Yeah. I live in an apartment with three hot chicks. I'm a hot chick and I live with two other hot chicks. Or I'm a hot dude and I live with two other hot dudes. And I never have to worry about money. Never. I've been aspiring to act here. I've never had to skip a meal.
Speaker: I just, I just never, I just, I think Jo was agreeing. There is something about, about, about her, there's a... Believe it or not, the best she's looked to me is... Veep? Uh, the, no, actually, I was thinking the New Adventures of Old Christine. Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah, well, yeah. Seinfeld, not so much. Because she's made, she's made me look frumpy and, and, and... I was weirdly attracted to her in Seinfeld, though.
Speaker: Really? Yeah. Like I said, never majorly on my radar of like, holy shit, she's on, I need to watch. Yeah, no, no, no, like I said, underrated. But I mean, in general, I've never been like, hoo hoo, hello. But looking back and thinking about it, I see where you're coming from. Yeah, I'm going to try some chicken real quick. Yeah, like an underrated hotness, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, well, I wouldn't necessarily call hot, underrated attractiveness. I will give you that.
Speaker: But never have I been like, ooh, honey, let's watch this. It's got her in it because damn, she's got something. But I've always been like, well, okay, she's at least in it. But I see what you're saying. That makes sense. I mean, but there's a lot of people like that. I mean. Well, I think what it is is it's one of those things like she
Speaker: Like, she tries, but she doesn't try. You know what I mean? Right, yeah. She puts makeup on, but she doesn't overdo it. She's very subtle. She does it subtle. Like, some shows, again, I hate to go back and beat up on Friends, but Friends, they forced, and I'm not hating on Jennifer Anderson because she's got a
Speaker: she's got a she's not hot she's not sexy but they try to push the sexy for Jennifer Aniston and everything Jennifer Aniston does they try to like force she's like she's an attractive woman you know like she doesn't need to be over sexualized she's good the way she is like somebody should punch Brad Pitt in the dick for
Speaker: Leaving her for that psycho path Angelina Jolene Yeah, but Yeah again, that's a squirrel moment. I just Actually clicked on Twitter and then I was there and I was like wait a minute Well like like the chick from that 70s show Foreman's girlfriend
Speaker: Yes. I agree. She said to me, to me, to me, she is sexy as hell, but they made her a tomboy. They, they, they, you know, have you seen the oranges new black? Yes. I wish I would. Oh wait. I am a lesbian. No, I thought, I thought that I thought, I thought she was,
Speaker: I thought she was super hot, but they played her hotness way down. Yeah, exactly. But on that note, I do have to get up and work in the morning. I have to be up at eight. I wish I had to get up at eight on work days. Cold as fuck, too. I'm starting to get cold. I'm sitting out here on the balcony.
Speaker: Please, please, please, please, please. Tell the champion. Tell the champ. Tell the champ. What is cold? What is cold? What is cold down there? What is the weather currently? No, I think it's like 68. What is the weather currently in Cancun, Mexico? It's 67. 67. I'm sitting out here in shorts and a t -shirt.
Speaker: Hey Jeffrey, yeah Hold on a second. What is the weather in Ohio currently?
Speaker: It's 25 degrees and clear in Columbus. It's colder in a well digger's asshole. But you know who's sitting in his house with shorts on and a t -shirt? Exactly. With his championship belt. My wife and I have a pet name for each other.
Speaker: She calls me the polar bear. She calls you bitch. She calls me the polar bear and she is the tropical bird. Because I shit you not, I guarantee you she's freezing her ass off right now. I also have funny nicknames for you and your wife. She literally just said she is cold. I also have funny nicknames for you and your wife.
Speaker: I call you the snowflake garden gnome, and I call her, see you next Tuesday. Yeah. But on that note, let's go ahead and wrap up. I'm just kidding. I know you are. Well, I mean, I'm kidding about half of that comment. No, you are a snowflake garden gnome.
Speaker: But let's go ahead and do some Blacktop Modo. Is that how we end the show now, Jeffrey? I'm getting hungry. Is that how we end the show? We just say I'm cold and play Blacktop. Let's play some Blacktop Modo. OK, show's over. Bye, folks.
Speaker: As And get weirder I just watch Trust me it don't get any weirder than our than our news in our top 25 so calm the fuck down That's from Big Mouth by the way Okay, would that be insane? That's what the hormone monsters and stuff like that yep
Speaker: Fucking hilarious. No, I need to tell my daughter to watch that. No, no, don't. Promise me. Don't. Seriously. Dude, I want to fight her and her hormone monsters like every 30 seconds.
Speaker: Like every day my 16 year old daughter with her hormones and this emotional hormonal roller coaster that she is on. I contemplate being like you know what you and I should go ahead and square off in the parking lot.
Speaker: Let's go. Come on. You and me. Right now. Let's go. I can't do this no more. I only know how to do this one way. Let's go. Exactly. I'm Rocky. You're Ivan. Let's rock.
Speaker: She's like, nah, bitch, this is Rocky. This is Rocky II, I'm Apollo. And you're Rocky. Oh yeah, you beat me by decision? No. I went the distance with your hormonal monsters. God damn it. But anyways, we do gotta end the show. Thank you guys for hanging out. Thank you guys for listening. Those of you who listened to the replay,
Speaker: If you are listening to the replay and you want to see the video and you want to see the champion with his belt, feel free to go ahead and check that out. Next Wednesday, I'll be holding two belts because I'll be the two -time, count it, two -time. Hold on, I'm looking for anybody that agrees with you. Well, apparently... There is none. Apparently more people agreed with me than they agreed with you. No, no, no. I'm talking about you being champion. Not about that you won't. I am the champion. I am the champion. You can't argue that.
Speaker: The numbers don't lie. I beat you. I am the champion. I never said you didn't beat me. The champion is a little stretch. Or not. The champion is a stretch. Speaking of fighting your kids, I'm going to go kick Cash's ass. He just came in here and he was like, are you the champion? Or no. I told you the kids got my back. Yeah, I'm the champion. You see the belt on my shoulder, you son of a bitch. That you bought at Walmart for 10 bucks.
Speaker: Look, it's not my fault my kids are wrestling fans and I have a plethora. I'm gonna have to go buy more because every time I win, I'm gonna add another championship. So next Wednesday, I'm gonna have another belt on this shoulder. We'll see. We will see. Because the new one is Christmas songs. So you're less ready, sir. So hold on a second. I'm gonna give you, I'm gonna give you, I'm gonna give you, I'm gonna give you your time. So I just wanna say thank you guys for listening. Thank you guys for hanging out. Shatter's box, you guys were awesome as always.
Speaker: If you're listening to the replay and you want to join the chatters box, all you got to do is follow us on hams, YouTube, Twitch, Twitter, and Facebook. You can join us live every Wednesday and Saturday night. And you can come in and hang out in the chatters box. You can see us live. You can see me draped in gold. Basically here in a week or two, I'm going to change my name from Glick to Midas. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, Jeff,
Speaker: Jeffrey, please enlighten the audience on what we are talking about, on why I am the championship, on why I am the champion, why I am the first time ever record -setting champion. Nobody can ever do what I did here. Nobody can ever do what I did tonight. It can never be done. It is for the starting lineup draft. Do you think you're the champion or not?
Speaker: Yeah, he just hit me with a fucking sea turtle or something Starting lineup draft
Speaker: Saturdays, we'll announce the new draft on Wednesdays. Check it out. Vote for us. Vote for whoever you think won on Facebook. Click. Where else? Where else are we posting? Facebook, Twitter. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter. And TikTok. TikTok. And Snapchat. Name places we post. Snapchat. Well, you do Snapchat.
Speaker: I do do snapchat and I do take screenshots just for anybody who thinks that there are there is not and Jeff I will gladly send you the screen I just drooled
Speaker: No, I do. I do take screenshots of every vote. I am home, you silly bitch. You can be a little bit more enthusiastic when you're like, you're like, whatever. It's the starting lineup or you do a fantasy draft pick. I'm also trying to think how to explain the draft. I suck. I lost. It's the, it is. It's as simple as this. It's the starting lineup. Jeff picks five. Five pick five.
Speaker: It is a starting lineup. We do a fantasy draft, whatever the subject Jeff comes up with. I pick five. He picks five. We go head to head. You silly sons of bitches. You get to vote. You get to choose the winner. Is it going to be me? Is it going to be him? It's all up to you. Join us. Saturday night. Voting will always be the same. Chris and the number one or Jeff and the number one? Hashtag Chris number one. Hashtag Jeff number one.
Speaker: We announced the winner tonight for the first ever. Obviously it's the guy holding the gold. Saturday night we have a brand new draft coming up. Sunday morning -ish, Jeff will post the lineup on social media. I gotta figure out how to do a TikTok video where we can both be involved.
Speaker: I got to cut it down. So my thing, but that's neither here nor there. We'll figure it out. Well, you got the, you got the video editing tool. I can, I can do a video and then you can edit it and, and, and add your part. And then we, and then post that on tiktok. So, so we got that coming up for you guys Saturday night. What is it? Saturday night is the all our Christmas songs from any genre. Jeff thinks he's thinking my title. I will.
Speaker: And our top and our starting lineup is basically is solely our opinion and our opinion. It's not a, it's not a fight between the sets. It's literally just whose opinion is better. So join us Saturday night live HAPS, YouTube, Twitch, Twitter, Facebook, and nonsensical nonsense. Let us know what you think as we do the draft live, we're going to do the draft live every Saturday night. Um,
Speaker: So yeah, that's the end of the show. Kinda got off winded, but yeah, again, thank you guys for listening. Check us out on social media, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok at nonsensicalnonsense. Get every single episode on Spotify, Google Play, Anchor, Apple Podcast, basically anywhere and everywhere you get your podcast fixes. Goodnight, Joe. Thanks for coming in and farting on me. Pack your hands. I asked him to smell his ass. Yeah, and join us live here.
Speaker: You better let me smell your ass, boy. Doing this live every Wednesday and Saturday night on HAPS TV, YouTube, Twitch, all that fun jazz. Just, I don't even know what the hell I'm talking about at this point, but thank you guys for listening, thank you guys for hanging out.
Speaker: We'll be back Saturday with a very, very Christmas episode. We got a Christmas starting lineup. We're gonna have Christmas news and what the fuck news. We're gonna have a Christmas top 10, maybe a super -sized top 10. And we're gonna have, of course, Jeff, go buy Christmas cheer in a can or a bottle. Yeah, I do every day. Yeah, well... I wanna make eggnog again.
Speaker: Make some egg milk get fucking turnt up turnt up on egg milk Yeah, I'm being fact -checked my wife made it and it's fucking amazing. Hey Doesn't matter who made it as long as it's alcoholic So join us Saturday night for a very merry
Speaker: Christmas episode of nonsensical nonsense we love you guys we're gonna end this with blacktop mojo the only way we know how the official closer blacktop mojo if you're not already go check them out go follow them on all social media stream all their music on every streaming fucking platform you can find like their stuff follow them comment that nonsensical nonsense sent you and Jeffrey I love you brother you sir
Speaker: Hit him with it. Deuces! I'm gonna hit him with it. Oh, I'm just... Fuck it up, I gotta do juices. I gotta do juices again. Fuckin '... YouTube, you need to fucking get rid of those ads. Well, you know, it's not even YouTube. Haps. Let me play my... pretty stuff.
Speaker: But in that, and then we've got the slow intro for Wicked Woman. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Blacktop Mojo, Wicked Woman. Jeff's gonna rub his nipples. Cat's gonna kick his ass eventually. I'm telling you, Blacktop Mojo's gonna come down there and do a show in Cancun, and Matt's gonna show up and do the same thing I'm gonna do. He's gonna eat tacos and kick you in the dick. So anyway, he says, I just wanna know if you get back into it. Oh, it's the extended version. You know how to cut your play out. Listen to the story.
Speaker: It's fun. It was heavy and mean. Well, I guess we'll never get those 45 minutes back. You guys getting something better? I got a story. So you guys know that the Cherokee used to live in these woods, right? They had a legend of an evil spirit.
Speaker: They called her Askeena, which I think is a Cherokee word for evil. They said that you could hear a laughter echoing under the light of the moon off in the darkness. The chief had a young son. He was probably like four or five. Like little kids do, he wandered off a little too far from the village. Well, he didn't come back. And in the morning, the chief was frantic. I mean, the son was gone, you know?
Speaker: They searched all day high and low for this kid, man, and they couldn't find him. He was nowhere to be found. So he got together his best band of warriors and said, bring me back, my boy. Well, the warriors went off in the trees, and all night you could hear screams and howling and a little bit of evil laughter. In the morning, only one man returned.
Speaker: from the expedition. When they asked him what happened, he said that the ischina surrounded him in the darkness. And they said, before she did, they heard her voice echoing through the trees. And she said, oh, mother in the sky, take this sacrifice. I want to live forever. Oh, spirit in the earth.
Speaker: Give me a new birth. There she is in the background. Thank you, God, like you. That was probably the dumbest thing I've ever heard. And now we are all dumber for listening to it. I second that. There she comes. There it is!
Speaker: She dances naked through the trees until they're gone
Speaker: Some way above her head As I began to reach, she said I'm all alone in the sky Take this acrobatic, I wanna live for you
Speaker: Do you have any weapons of any kind? Anything to defend yourself? What?
Speaker: Look man, I'm being chased by some crazy witch in the dark ages and I need like an axe or a machete or a freaking shotgun. You got anything? Sir, this is a Speedy Mart. We have hot dogs too for a dollar. I just put them on the roller yesterday. They're pretty good.
Speaker: Oh man, like something sharp. Something like I can stab to defend myself with. I've got some sharp titter combos over there. It's kind of like a rich cracker pregnant for the cheese baby. Even hearing me? I need something dangerous to fend off an undead crazy musical magic fierce dragon lady. I don't know. If you're feeling froggy had a case of Red Bull blow up on a pallet of corn nuts yesterday.
Speaker: What does that have to do with anything? Well, it's sweet, salty, packed full of vitamin B12. Make your shit like a squirrel through a screen door, but it packs a hell of a punch. Come on, man. Do you have a hammer or a wrench? Screwdriver, even. In this scenario, I am cat and you are the catcher. In every episode. Well, let me just take one of these lighters and I'm gonna borrow your bug spray and
Speaker: Can I borrow your bathroom key? Literally. Yeah, bathroom key. He did not buy the books. That's a bathroom key, right? That lighter was there. Make sure you bring that back. And that'll be $13 .62. And I'm going to have to have a jack chain. So we're in a coin short at this moment. Whatever, man. Whatever, man. What is it, man? OK. What's that? It's gone, man. I'm sorry. It's gone.
Speaker: Yeah! Pow!
Speaker: Oh shit, Chuck. Oh shit, Chuck. Oh shit, Chuck.
Speaker: Jeff, can I show you something to say to you? What do you want to say to Jeff? Jeff. Just say it. What's up buddy? You suck.
Speaker: And that's why you didn't win the championship because you suck there's no better way than this show Blacktop mojo with wicked woman was the best way we could end the show but no I got a screen grab that word
Speaker: Cash says, Jeff, you suck. And that's why you didn't win the championship. So as the champion and the host of as the champion and the host of nonsensical nonsense, I say, we'll see you all Saturday night. Jeff, even though you're a loser, I love you. I love you, sir. Bye. The champ will be back Saturday night looking to defend his title.
Speaker: We are out of here. We will see you guys next week. Make sure you follow us on all social media and everywhere you get your podcasts and jollies at nonsensical nonsense. We're out of here. Let's end it. The champ is here.
