Transcript
Speaker: Once you move, don't you move
Speaker: Dance!
Speaker: Oh my brother testify What's going on everybody It's not Jeff
Speaker: No, I turned it off. Everybody sees you have a new speaker. If it goes off one time tonight during this show, I'm coming to Cancun and I'm shoving it straight up your head. You want to play. Everybody, I guess I should go do mine. It's a power switch. No, it's got a mode button. Yeah, keep the light on. I don't care. It looks pretty cool in the background. I'm just saying.
Speaker: Alright, let's get ready to start the show and tell the Stooges in the back to play my music. Fucking Slim Shady over here. Starts playing his David Allen Co's greatest racist hits of all time. Yeah, no, I was playing Jody's theme song.
Speaker: First of all, that's not Jody's theme song. It's not going to evolve. It's the one I consider a theme song. The light looks cool behind you, actually. Just not the speaker. I know, but I'm trying to get it to turn on without making noise. Disconnect your Bluetooth. No, even when you just turn it on, it makes that much noise. Yeah. Disconnect your Bluetooth, and then your Bluetooth won't be connected to it. So every time you get another... If you connect the Bluetooth to the phone, it shouldn't do it.
Speaker: Long as your notifications are turned off We couldn't even get the church started without Jeff Paul knee break so this should be a fantastic turn tonight ladies and gentlemen But
Speaker: Uh, but welcome to the show guys. Yes, it is Friday. It is not Saturday. Somebody has plans tomorrow night. Somebody's going Bigfoot hunting tomorrow night. So we did the show a day early. Uh, so somebody's going to hunt you. No, I'm going to go look for my, my real family. Oh, yeah.
Speaker: You left me in that orphanage so long ago, you sons of bitches. But I'm home now. And not only am I home, but I'm the goddamn champion. Oh, hell yeah. Turn your mic down just a little bit. You're stupid, love. I know. That's because I was yelling. No, but in general. Well, you know what, Jeff? I gave you control. Yeah, I gave you control of the show. I didn't even touch my mic.
Speaker: I gave you control of the show. I still didn't touch my mic for one night. You really are. And you and you started messing with everything. I'm about to do this, bro. Yeah, it won't let me. It won't let me edit your mic. Oh, yeah, my mic is and yeah, my mic is fine. It's just my. What? I gotta talk over.
Speaker: you know, TVs and Bluetooth speakers and all that jazz. Yeah. Yes. Uh but welcome to the show, guys. It is Friday. Hopefully, you guys have had a good week. I have had a spectacular week, personally. Now, that wasn't me. It wasn't me. Call it now. You guys aren't already. Go ahead and check us out on
Speaker: on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and the old Tiki Taki. You can also join us live every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday on YouTube and Twitch because that's where we are at. You can come hang out. You can, uh, you can, uh, hit us up in the chatters box. Say hello. All that fun jazz. If you don't want to listen to us live, you don't want to hang out with us. That's fine. Nobody wants to hang out with us, but you can listen to us, whatever you want on Spotify and everywhere you listen to podcasts at.
Speaker: Uh, where was I going? Uh, it's no, it's, it's, it's no longer when I lose my train of thought. It's no longer do I smell toast now it's officially or the Biden. No, we do have an email at nonsensical nonsense podcast at gmail .com. You can hit us up on there anytime you'd like about anything you want.
Speaker: Hey, we do have a merch store. Speaking of the, uh, do I smell toast at teespring .com slash nonsensical nonsense. You see what happens when I, you know, I can, I can seamlessly do a show introduction, get the show rolling. But when you, when one of you guys throw a monkey wrench into my, like into the show, as soon as we start, I haven't even, I've had to drink a beer. Hey, I'm not even a beer in. I'm not ready for, I'm not ready for you, Jeffrey.
Speaker: I need I need a good 15 minutes of Jeffrey. You prepare myself bullshit. I'm calling bullshit because hey, there's no way you you chug that much during that intro considering you were talking the whole time. This is the first one I had. Oh, okay. Oh, no, it the label with the label looked like it was a lot more
Speaker: no no this is i just i opened it while the music was played and i took a drink out of it while the intro music was played and then i came in and uh you had i don't know who was that biggie's playing or
Speaker: Tony apparently got a part -time job in the kitchen. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. Tony's doing daddy duty. I'm not going to give him too much of a hard time. He said duty. I think he's cooking and stuff like that.
Speaker: that I want to bring up. I just want to wait for a little bit before I do. I definitely want to let you have a couple more beers before I get into it. It goes along with the weird shit I find on TikTok that when I look this up... What was it that you brought to our attention the other night? I don't remember.
Speaker: exactly what did we tell you the other night about you i'm gonna i'm gonna send you i'm gonna send you the screenshot yes for me before i bring it up because when i looked this up i saw it on tiktok and i looked it up and i went wait what um
Speaker: I do I do will bring up something going off subject Today today is my parents 50th wedding anniversary. It's what Six months
Speaker: Yeah, exactly. I've got 12 years, so I got a while before I hit 50. Holy shit. Yeah. That's impressive. Especially nowadays, considering weddings are like toast, you know, they're done really quick. Well, some people don't even make it to their weddings. They just, you know, they collect engagements like their baseball cards. So I mean, there's that. It's crazy.
Speaker: That was not intentional. That was not intentional. That actually was unintentional because I was I was going to continue my thought. That was completely unintentional. That is a home run. I'm going to play it. That's a quarter of the night. It's in a Honda in the fucking parking lot. Home run.
Speaker: I was going to say with that was engagements or relationships or anything in general. Nobody takes them. They're like seriously anymore. Yeah, you know this it's yeah, they they've kind of become uh uh
Speaker: Well, you know, for the younger generation, it's almost like a status, a status symbol. Yeah. You know, I mean, it's become the norm to get divorced so quickly or to be 40 and have several divorces. And that's not a diss on anybody. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
Speaker: See, I'm not. My mic is like a quarter away. He sounds like Kurt Angle. That's how much of a difference it is. What's up, Amanda? I'll tell Jeff to stop. You can. You can if you're logged in. I can adjust mine. I can adjust yours. Maybe it's just, I can adjust yours. Oh, no, now I can. Now I can. Here we go. Just don't touch it.
Speaker: nothing because I'm fine we would have ignored it because I'm fine no but but what I'm saying it's like it was the same thing when smoke was in here that first time you're like smoke your mic sounds like shit I'm like it sounds amazing and then I listen to it on Spotify but it sounds great and Tony's like your mic sounds like shit so I think what I think what we found out is the problem is
Speaker: Actually, Tony's ears. No, I was going to say his computer, but I wasn't going to put it on him. Actually, for his conversation about all his underlying symptoms and issues, this could be a new one because I'm talking like I normally talk. I just sound louder than normal. You do sound louder. Amanda says it sounds like you're screaming. Yes. Like you're already excited.
Speaker: Yeah, but I'm not screaming. I'm talking like I normally do. And I'm actually farther away from my microphone than normal. Now you are. But really? Oh, yeah. No, you were. Yeah, I was almost cracked. Yeah, actually. Yeah, actually. Yeah, then. But no, like I like we were saying, you know, relationships are almost kind of like a status symbol. And it's like, you know, the more the more divorces or or engagements that you have,
Speaker: or whatever, something like that, or, I don't know, relationships or flings or whatever you want to call them, is like some kind of bragging point. I was at the barbershop today. I went in and I had a few things I had to do. And I was like, ooh, nobody's at the barbershop. I can get right in there and get out. And there was a kid in there getting his haircut. I said, kid, he was in his early 20s. I had a vet and talking about, you know, being in all these different countries.
Speaker: and the other thing and blah, blah, blah. And he's like, yeah, I've already had my first divorce. And my barber and I both, he dead stopped what he was doing. And we both looked at him and go, how many divorces have you had? And he was like, well, just one. And they were like, how old are you? That's not something you brag about. He was like, oh, he was like 25, 26, something like that. And like, how long were you all married? And he was like, well, five or six years. And it was just like,
Speaker: straight out of high school, Jesus. Yeah. So it was like, so how long have you been divorced a year? And he's like, yeah. He's like, so you got married when you were like 18. Like literally you turned 18 and got married or some shit like that. It's insane.
Speaker: Well, I think that's the issue. I think a lot of people, they're so excited to get married that they don't look for the red flags. Like we talked about all this while back about red flags that you tend to ignore. And we've all been, we've all fell victim to that in the past.
Speaker: You don't want to see a fail. You don't want to have a failed relationship. So you ignore the red flags and then then you get married and then next thing you know, the red flag is just too much. Right. Let me know if that fans too much in the background. Oh, I don't even hear it. No, that's good. Feels good. I was already sweating. I got nipple sweat right now. Speaking of age, I found out something interesting. How many times have you seen
Speaker: Christmas vacation and, and national and who's vacation from the eighties. Really? Yeah. No, no, I was saying really to Tony, you've only seen him once. I have no idea. I have no idea to be a hundred percent. Okay. I have no idea. How old, how old would you call Chevy Chase in those movies? I would say, I would say he was probably, uh, in his early thirties.
Speaker: mid -30s in those movies? 36. I was pictured him being like 45 or something like that. And I found that fact out today and I was like, holy shit, that dude was only 36.
Speaker: Chevy Chase is one of those cats that actually looks older than he is. Yeah, well you also gotta remember when you're younger, it's like me, I'm going through it right now with my kids. My kids called me old and I'm like, I remember when I thought. Yeah, but even if I watched it like two months ago, two months ago and I was like, these gotta be 45.
Speaker: He's 36. But it's also like the style, like how adults dressed in the 80s and stuff like that. I would have actually been... I would have probably been more... Well, I also almost nailed it right on the head with what I guessed. But I would have probably been more shocked if he was younger than that when those movies were made, than the fact that he was 36. I think I would have been... But that's the other thing. Actors back then,
Speaker: You know, you go back and like when the Cori's when they were doing like, Oh, yeah, early when they were doing like dream a little dream license to drive 16 something they were barely even old enough to drive. Yeah. Well, when they did license to drive, which was what's her name's first movie, what's her name?
Speaker: We talked about the chick from the hangover. She played the hooker. The dude married in Vegas, Heather Graham, Heather Graham's first movie, uh, licensed driver. They were 22 and they, but they still look like they're like 14. But you see them when you did, when they did like, um, uh, lost boys, they were, they were only 13, but they were playing 50.
Speaker: I think they were older in Lost Boys than what they were playing. No. Because Lost Boys came out after all those other ones. No, but License to Drive is like the first one where they really teamed up. I think. That's what I said, Lost Boys came out after they were already the courties when that movie came out. Right. Right, but License to Drive, I think, came out in 1984.
Speaker: I'd have to actually. But I sent you guys in Snapchat what I found out today and it kind of shocked me. And check your Snapchat before I bring it up. I stopped reading it because as I told you the other night, Jeffrey, get off the fucking internet. That's a weird fact. No more internet. You're on internet timeout except when you're working or doing the podcast.
Speaker: And I'm telling you what, you're right. I literally got off the internet because I did pick myself up a game. Pick me up. Well, clearly you didn't get off the internet. I was playing golf afterward. Why did you even listen to him and go to that damn Snapchat? I told you. This is a weird fact, man. That's a fucked up fact. I told you to.
Speaker: I got two sentences in and I said, oh, I'm done. I saw it on TikTok and I was like, damn, that's fucked up. You know, as I brought up on the show multiple times, Jeffrey, I say that there's a lot of moments. There's been a lot of moments in the last 20 some odd years that we've been friends with.
Speaker: It makes me question our question. I question our friendships and why I became friends with you and stuff like that. Because it's stuff like this, that you learned something. You know, we've had the discussion today. If you could go back and have a conversation with 15 year olds, 16 year olds who, the first thing I would tell him is A,
Speaker: Number one, your first day in building trade, Jay, you're not there yet. But you're going to get there, believe it or not. There's going to be a little garden gnome looking guy that comes in with pants that are bigger than him. Ignore him. Actually, stick in the locker for the next two years. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. If you wouldn't have met me, your life would have been different. My life would have been so much easier. My life would have been a butterfly effect. You know how much less trouble I would have gotten into at the cruise center?
Speaker: You know, that is true. Which one of you two are to blame for this? Whose idea was it? Yeah, we both got that one. Not Mike. Was it me? I'm still pissed about the fact that he wouldn't let us paint that fucking satellite dish. Why? Because he assumed we were going to make a mess.
Speaker: That's probably a very accurate assumption. I highly doubt it. I'm team -tending. I'm not team -tending in this situation. No, I don't think so. Because stuff like that, I actually take pride in. Oh, well. We had a lot of other crazy ideas together. Like, let's shoot everybody in the head with the pressure washer. Granted, I was the one that did it. I was the one that was physically doing it. But you were in on the idea process.
Speaker: I just physically carried it out. I defer to Bob for that one. I still want Bob. That was all him.
Speaker: I just can't believe that the class let me shoot him in the head with the power washer that we could cut four by fours and a half with the entire class lined up. That was even back in that line up. The smart guy. And then it still got the proof. You want to talk about a G line. This motherfucker's got a permanent G scar.
Speaker: It's it's it's barely visible, but if you look you can see it Let's learn don't put your hard hat on so it's like a big dummy
Speaker: The whole point was the fact that... When you'd be responsible, Vince. Yeah, Jesus. Yes. Let me tell his wife who said that. Chris, Vince's fault is just as possible. If his wife remembers me, then she will remember the drunken debacle the night I met her when they were first dating, when him and Andy lived next door to each other. Are you serious? That's the same chick? Yeah, that's far enough. I did not know that.
Speaker: I did not know. Yeah. A bunch of drunk idiots locking themselves out of an apartment. So it was smart. We got in. I believe. Eventually. No, we got into one apartment. After we got into the first one, they're like, yeah, no, we're not doing that in the other one. You got it.
Speaker: It's like six drunk guys. Half of them were the same building trades class together. We can get in here without a key. We're going to play school. We can figure this out. He was going to say I was in a motorbike. We got in.
Speaker: But Tony let me let me explain something about Andy Andy's the kind of guy that he's the Evil Jiminy cricket is what I used to call it because he'd stand behind me Take that from the guy Put you in the face No, no Andy was Andy was always behind you going oh
Speaker: Don't take that shit for him. Punch him in the face. That's the best way to describe Andy when he was a ginger version of me. Andy's the kind of guy who's like, fuck that. You can jump it with your car. No big deal. It's just a small ditch.
Speaker: Oh, no. Andy wasn't doing it. He was the one encouraging. No, he was he was he was the evil Jiminy Cricket. He was like the day Bob and I got in a fight and he's behind me going, are you going to take that shit from him? Grab a break. He was the evil devil on your shoulder. Where Tinney's standing on the other side of the classroom. Don't do it. And he's like, fuck that guy. Go get it.
Speaker: Well that day that Chris and him were at the bar and he's like, are we gonna fight somebody? Chris is like, I guess. I just got back to Ohio, man. I just got back to Ohio from Charleston. And he was like, dude, you're right down the road.
Speaker: And he was like, he's like, he's helping that pool table. I was like, yeah, I mean, if you don't mind, he's like, yeah, then he comes out. We have a couple of beers, stayed outside talking bullshit. He's like, man, let's go get, let's go, let's go to the bar. There's a new brewery in town. We go to the brewery. We have some beers there. It's kind of dead. He's like, there's a, there's a bar that's notoriously known for assholes going to, we weren't the assholes that went there.
Speaker: And then we proceeded to just get it. And I was his golden ticket that night. He wasn't going to get in trouble because we hadn't seen each other in so long. And his wife was like, I don't care. Just don't get into fights and don't wreck and die. And what's the first thing Andy say when Chris gets a mild altercation? Not even an argument. It wasn't even an altercation. Andy's at the bar going, so are we going to fight them or what? It was an inconvenience. You know, somebody said,
Speaker: somebody said I would kick your ass at pool, told me they would kick my ass at pool. I said I would kick all your asses at pool. One of their buddies who apparently had way too many to drink and thought he was 10 foot tall and Superman was like, you think you can kick my ass? And I'm like, well, considering my left pinky is bigger than you, yes.
Speaker: go back and then he's like, so we're going to kick their asses? I'm like, nah, we should kick their asses. I was like, your wife said no party tonight. He's like, yeah, we're going to fight tonight. I can't get in trouble. I learned something new. We did not get into a fight that night, though, because as it turned out, they were just talk. They really didn't. They really didn't want to.
Speaker: Chris, did you get into the boys season three yet? We're not gonna talk about it. Season three, episode one, 11 minutes, 50 seconds in. Answer your fucking Snapchat. Holy shit. Answer your Snapchat.
Speaker: Holy shit. I sent you a Snapchat because I didn't want to do it in our group chat. I didn't want to do it on the show because some people may have not watched it. We've been telling Tony to watch the boys. He's not there yet. So I've said to stats that you refuse to answer, but you snap in our group chat. I'm like, I didn't see it. What the fuck? I didn't see it. Sorry. I didn't see it.
Speaker: I'm not spoiling anything, I'm just saying. First episode, 11 minutes, 50 seconds in. I don't know if I'm more disturbed by what happened or if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you have the fine frame and everything. No, the only reason I know the time frame, because I saw it happening and I was like, pause, I got to ask Chris if he's seen this yet. I was like this.
Speaker: And when dude sneezes. You can't help himself. Holy shit, dude. He's like a special needs kid in a candy store. Oh my god, it was hilarious. Tony, you got to see this show. One day I'm going to watch it. Holy shit. Oh, by the way, my wife messaged me. You mentioned that Resident Evil series.
Speaker: Yeah. She says it's good. She says it's good. She started watching it. She said it's actually really good. I started watching the first episode today when I took my lunch and it's not bad so far. How did you find time to watch an entire season of a brand new show that just came out? Isn't she supposed to be like,
Speaker: She gets she gets home or she gets back to the hostel. Oh, because I want to go out home as in the hostel and she's right in slip. Your wife moved to Europe. Yeah, she did. Jeffrey. No. Trust me. Jeffrey. If he did, I'd be on the next plane moving there too because because it doesn't sound like it because it doesn't sound like it.
Speaker: She was saying she was watching in the night. We're like, if she can't sleep, instead of going out and go get drunk or some stuff, because she doesn't drink. She said she started watching it. She said it's pretty good. She's got our Netflix on her phone. Correct me if I'm wrong, Chris. Did you get a new car? Jeffrey, don't change the subject. No, we'll get to that. Jeffrey.
Speaker: Did your wife move to Europe with that? I always say home no matter what. If I'm at a hotel, I'm saying I'm going home. Yeah. Trust me, she hasn't. She's actually thinking about coming home early already. She's good board. She's waiting for. I can understand why she's for the vendors. She's waiting for the Marvel Universe to open at Disney in France.
Speaker: so she can go to Disney before she goes over to England and all that shit again. When does that open? I'm not sure. I think it's next week. Good thing she moved there. Shot plenty of time. Does she at least have a nice house there? Have you actually sent you pictures of her new home? Was it nice? Ha ha ha.
Speaker: I'll reach out to her. I'll ask her how she's enjoying living in Europe. You're her favorite person, Chrissy. I am. I am. She thinks I'm awesome. I'm amazing.
Speaker: Every time I talk to her. She calls you the fat one. Every time I talk to her, you know she's fat. I was with Tony in the fat one. Every time I talk to her, you know, the first thing she says to me, hey champ.
Speaker: She's like, what's going on? Go. And I'm like, hey, at least, you know, fucking idiots. Oh, no, I'm just kidding. I don't ever talk. I know you don't because she would be like, I'm not answering that.
Speaker: And then I get a message, why is this dumb ass calling me? I'll text her and be like, you should have seen the bitch Jeff had at her at the house with him on the show last night. That'll get her to answer. She watches. No, she don't. Yeah, she does. I do. But yeah, I have Tony. I have a special treat for you tonight.
Speaker: We were talking about this, I don't know, last week or the week before. Bring me a cord to shoot out of this. You guys are ticks. I'm doing it. Must be a skin I'm sinking in. Must be for real. Because now I can feel I didn't mind.
Speaker: I'm doing it. I got you, fucker. You put it up. You can find that video on our TikTok and our Instagram at nonsensical nonsense if you'd like to
Speaker: get the full version and enjoy that. That's okay. I'm glad you don't. But everybody else does. Says the person that encouraged me. Yeah. So I would have that Jim.
Speaker: Jeff, how are we good friends? Do you think I was doing it? Did you think I was encouraging you to sing because I think you have an amazing voice? No. That's so I have a way to embarrass you at any given time, whenever, however. My new speaker came with a microphone so I can actually sing it. You can sing to your speaker.
Speaker: I sing out to the neighborhood man. I crank up some tunes and start singing along. Look at that. It just pisses off the neighbors. Yeah. You're going to be another American putting 47 trash bags. Keep it up. Good luck with that. Fucking El Mariachi is going to get your ass. El Mariachi.
Speaker: Steve Buscemi is going to roll up in your neighborhood. He's the smallest white guy I've ever seen. That's great movies. I do love those movies. But no, as Jeff was saying when he was trying to change the subject. Oh my God. Tony, all I got to say to you is Equinox Gang Gang. Chevy gang. No, I spur the moment. I know.
Speaker: Yeah, man, I had to, you know, I get, like I told you guys, my, my little Chevy Cruz got the Bain injection and banged up. It was like, even though I talked about it and I've been talking about it, it just kind of a spur of the moment thing yesterday. I was like, well, you know, Carmax is right down the road. I gotta say I'm disappointed you didn't get the Colorado. Oh, well.
Speaker: considering the Colorado was about 15 grand more. That's what I assume. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, actually I, I do want a truck. I do want the Colorado, but it wasn't even really the price thing that, I mean, that was one of the things that deterred me. But right now I did, I like the SUV. It's not a need. It's more of a, I like the SUVs. You know, they, they,
Speaker: They, oh, I'm at that point in my life where SUV works out better for me than, and it's fantastic because in the back, and Tony, I don't know if yours has this or not, I'm sure it does, but there's like, where the spare tire is, it's down there and then they got, but there's like a little cubby. So all my work tools and everything are big, they're underneath, yeah, it's amazing.
Speaker: But, um, no, sorry. I, uh, I went up there and I was like, well, let's just see what I can get out of my car. And they did that. They actually, and, uh, cause they do the full appraisal and I've never had a car for anything like that. So they go out, they take it for a drive. They make sure everything's working properly and everything. They check everything. And it took them about 40 minutes, you know, 30, 40 minutes to do everything. Right. And they came back in with the offer and I was like, all right, so
Speaker: Tony was got this amount. So I've got X amount to put down. Right. Where would that put me price range? I told him I wanted to stay below a certain point as far as payments go. And I mean, he was like, all right, now that we got numbers to work with, let's see what we can do. Right. So, you know, they had found a bunch of cars and trucks and he was like, you know, what are you looking for? And I said, I'm kind of looking
Speaker: SUVs, I like the Chevy Equinox, Chevy Traverses. And again, Chevy Traverse, $15 ,000, $20 ,000 difference. Yeah. But it's also got that third row seat and all that fun shit. But I don't need a third row seat. Right. But there was three of them. And the one I really liked, unfortunately, was unavailable because it was on hold.
Speaker: But the silver one was basically the same as the other one. The other one was just black Right, but then there was a white one. I got a 2020 There's a white one. That was a 2019, but it was just a basic package. It's about 25, right? Yeah, yeah regular front -wheel drive I Don't know
Speaker: I'm looking to get an all wheel V6 with a sunroof. This is the turbo charged four cylinder and it's actually a lot faster than mine. Hey, that little thing is, that little thing moved on. I got behind the truck. I got behind the semi yesterday coming home with that bump. I was caught in a strap. I was like,
Speaker: I hit 100 on the highway one day. I didn't realize I was going that fast in that car. That's the issue with new cars. You don't realize how fast you're going.
Speaker: yeah but see it's so smooth and it's a small crossover but it moves like a motherfucker it really is like like if you do a hundred in my eclipse you know every second of that oh yeah if you if it's an older car and or same as the cruise there you can you can feel the road and see the scenery better
Speaker: Yeah. And, and feel that hundred where the new, you get into a newer car, especially when you're not used to. And next thing you know, like, fuck me, I'm going 110. Yeah. Yeah. But that little motherfucker be riding. Yeah. No, it's, I came home on the highway and I tried the highway to and from work. So I've already been on the highway several times with it. Um, but, uh, so there was the 2019 and it had like 23 ,000 miles on it. This, this was in 2020, but it had,
Speaker: the the
Speaker: telling me you work hard. It's okay for you to buy yourself nice things. Go ahead and and you know, that little that little voice here in the back of your head. Yes. I was like, **** it up. Let me get that one. So, you know, I got a little it's got like the power hatch and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Speaker: four years ago. That son of a bitch held his fucking value. That's the other thing. Say what you want about Chevy's, but a lot of them hold their value like you fucking read about it. And if you don't read on them. It didn't dawn on me until I got home and I was going through my folder when I bought my cruise.
Speaker: I was like, Oh, that's awesome. You know, I had it for four years. I put 72 ,000 miles on it and still got three or four grand less than what I paid for.
Speaker: Right. I was a trade in. So I was like, hell, yeah. But no, I did get it. I did give me a new Equinox. And I had to fight the urge yesterday to not just go drive around. So today I had to go get my haircut and go to the bank and go to the baby shop and go to the grocery store. No, just shut it off. I was going to drive it. No, but it's not showing off. But it's showing off to yourself. You're just like, yeah, that's right. You get used to the vehicle. Read the book. Take a couple of turns.
Speaker: And I got three months. Yeah. What? Who reads a book? Does it has does it has picture with you? Does it have to be a social manual? Fuck that. Use YouTube videos all over it. You get in, you push the button, you hold the break, you put it in gear and you're in.
Speaker: see when I have my escalator when I have my escalator had a book and it had a disc so I was sitting there with the disc and I was sitting on the buttons and everything the rearview mirror is coming down then they come in when you drive it all over you watch them what's really cool about having a vehicle that does all that shit is eventually learning that stuff on your own
Speaker: Yeah, you stumble faster. You have it for like six months and you're like, honey, check this out. You hit the button and all four windows roll down. Isn't that cool? She's like, yeah, we knew it. We did that from the beginning. I know, but now I figured out how to do it. No, so like I said, I'm very happy with it. I was excited. It's crazy to think that, and I was saying this last night, it's crazy to think that
Speaker: you know, seven months ago. Hawk. Yeah. You were looking at like, can I for gas? Well, not only that, it's just my life in general is an absolute fucking train wreck. And now you look fast forward. Yeah, you fast forward.
Speaker: six, seven months and it's a complete 180. Hey, join the club, brother. I mean, it's not even, it's not only just, it's not only the money, it's, it's, it's the, uh, it's the mental. Yeah. Two, because Jeff, you remember back then, I mean, even months before that, I, you know, I was fighting my depression and my anxiety, like, like, like, like read about to steal a word from Jeff. Uh, and, you know, struggling with it on the daily. And now it's like, I'm
Speaker: Most days I'm legitimately just bouncing around like a happy happy goofy go lucky. Yeah Hopefully this weekend I reconnect with my real family and I stab them in their cold black hearts for leaving me in an orphanage
Speaker: Before I took the job at LG, I was just like, what's the fucking point? Yeah, right. I almost went to work for them. I almost went to work for LG. Not LG, the TV company. LG Resources is the company I work for. Yep. Yeah. Thanks, Pops. Yeah, I got my car yesterday. I haven't said anything because the kids don't know yet. They're going to fucking freak. They do now. No, they don't. They don't watch the show.
Speaker: Well, yeah, they're not. Well, yeah, I gotta go pick them up in the morning. Uh, they got, they got other stuff they're doing tonight, so they're not paying no attention to what I'm doing. Plus it normally takes the podcast on Saturday, not Friday. That's right. That's why I haven't posted it on like social media or anything. Yeah. Cause I want to wait until I go pick them up tomorrow morning. Cause they're going to fuck them up.
Speaker: But I'm loving it, man. It's got nice little, you know, like - Let's go, with cloth or leather? Oh, I don't like leather. I want cloth. But the seats are - I can't do leather here. Yeah. You know what? Ford doesn't hug you like a Chevy does, and Dodge doesn't hug you at all. Dodge feels like you're sitting on a wooden bench.
Speaker: I had Dodge Lancer as a car. Yeah, Dodge Lancer, that's a Mitsubishi. That's technically a Mitsubishi. Whatever the fuck it was, it was all right. Yeah, Mitsubishi has amazing seats. Mitsubishi almost hit me with that damn Galant. I ain't gonna lie. No, the Diamante, holy shit, that Diamante was the truth.
Speaker: Yeah, buddy. Yeah, but it's got that 4G63. That motor is like damn near bulletproof. It's an amazing motor. That's the motor I want to get for the Eclipse. I still tell anybody I would get an old Chevy Lumina like the 93 one. I'll probably put a V8 in that motherfucker and update everything to a 2022 style. You need to bring that car back. That car was the truth.
Speaker: No, you know what? If I can buy any 90s Chevy, I want the 96 Impala. I think that is the sexiest fucking vehicle ever. I like that Lumina. You can have the Impala. I'll take the Lumina. That Lumina makes well. The problem with the 96 Impala is everybody wants one. The spoiler looked just right. You get the tinted windows on that back when it was very aerodynamic, and it moved. That was a good call. The Lumina. The Lumina.
Speaker: I could redo a vehicle. I think I would redo that one. I was much as a little Honda's and everything but that you know, you can get them luminous like stupid cheap. Yeah, they don't make them anymore.
Speaker: Well, no, no. That's what I'm saying. It's like you could buy a used one, stupid cheap, and fix it up and still not have the money that Chris has in his new car. Oh, no way. What did you say? If you bought an old Lumina, you might spend $500 on an old Lumina. Oh, yeah. You're talking about one that you got to fix up. And then completely redo it. And you still have to let if that. You can do about $200. If that. So that's not an out -of -this -world dream, man.
Speaker: The equal that the equal not as addictive between that and the traversing it I'm looking at those explorers too The only problem I have affords Hey, if I buy a Ford, I'll never live it down because all I do is shit on Ford, but Their parts are expensive as fuck So they send it to everybody in every manufacturer. They've been bailing all the other companies out. I
Speaker: Ford parts, I've always been more like if you buy a Ford starter versus a Chevy starter for the same similar size motor, the Ford will cost you $20, $30 more.
Speaker: Right. Right. Right, right, right. As Chris' head explodes. Yes. It's like when you guys talk wrestling. Oh, dude, I'm not. Chris is talking cars. Oh, yeah. I don't know if you can tell or not, but I'm not paying any attention. I'm over here doing my own thing. I'm in my own happy little world. I'm looking at, because I didn't download music. He's looking at car parts he can get for his shit. He's like, so if I get rims from my new Equinox. Actually, the only thing I wanted to do to it was tint the windows.
Speaker: But yeah, well, you know what? That goes to that. That goes down to the, I'm just going to do the one thing. And the next thing you know, you got another 20 grand.
Speaker: Well, that's the difference between you and I. I'm not going to, I actually, the only thing that I think I may do to it is get me a nonsensical nonsense rap. So I'm going to put, I'm going to put your faces on the back passenger windows.
Speaker: Just a picture of all three of our back of our heads on the back window. I was thinking like all three of our faces on the back window, nonsensical nonsense podcast or anything. No, I was actually thinking about getting like a nonsensical nonsense sticker. You can get those stickers made all day long. I can go right to the mall and have it done tomorrow.
Speaker: You know, also we have, also we have stickers at nonsensical at teespring .com slash nonsensical nonsense podcast word. No, I was actually why you guys were talking about cars. So I didn't call myself out this window headfirst. I was uploading music for the show, but no, I mean, there's really nothing I want to do to it. I mean,
Speaker: So I wanted to get the windows tinted, but the windows are already tinted and the back, they're tinted all the way around, including the windshield. The back windows are pretty dark. You can't, you can't stand them. Go, go have your girlfriend check them because if they're not factory, you could get in trouble. Yes. I wanted to do the same. But the front, the driver and passenger side and the windshield,
Speaker: They just got enough tin on them. You can see in them and out them and stuff like that. But it's just enough to help with the brightness of the sun. It's been fantastic the last couple of days like coming home or going to work or whatever when the sun is coming up and it's usually coming in my back window.
Speaker: right all where i'm going to work or i'm driving you know going like when i was going to score it was like right in my face it wasn't nearly as bad as it usually is so but yeah well it's also a little higher up you don't feel like you're sitting out on the ground well the sun's in its same spot so i mean sun's still in them but it does it is and that was that was that's one thing i am still getting used to is the fact that i feel like
Speaker: Yeah. I'm bigger than you. No, you're not. It's an equal. Calm down. I'm going to drive around like this from now on. That's what you need to do. Go get a wrap a belt across the hood. Just drive around with the belt on my shoulder all day long. You see this? You know who I am? Fuck you. I got a new car. Oh, hell yeah.
Speaker: And that's the bottom line, because he would not sense so. Jeez. Jeez. But no, I like it. I'm happy with it. I'm happy with the fact that I was able to do it more than ever. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And there's something you said about when you get yourself something nice like that. It's an amazing feeling.
Speaker: Like, you know, I buy myself a bunch of little shit, you know, like I bought the vape and I, you know, I do, I do that too. I mean, you know, like once a year or once, like every six months, or if I'm at the vape shop and a new vape comes out and I'm like, Oh, that looks cool. I'm going to buy it. You know, I buy, I buy myself a little stuff all the time, but this is the first time in a very long time that I have spent money on myself. Like I have recently, you know, with the new ribboners that the tattoos and my car,
Speaker: You know, if I'm at Old Navy or something like that, and I see something I want, I just get it. Oh, yeah. When it comes to, like, if I'm at the grocery store, I think about three months ago, I stopped checking prices. I just throw it. Yeah. Well, and it's like, you know, last night, I might, you know, when my check popped into my account, I was still up. And because it goes in around like 11, so 11, 11 30. So I was like, I'm still up.
Speaker: And my checks in there. I'm going to go ahead and pay all my bills. All my bills were paid before I went to bed last night, put money into savings. And then, Oh, yeah, it felt great. Not only did I trade my car and get a good deal on it, get a new car, but I walked out of there.
Speaker: with a check for $110. Nice. Would you spent double that on the first tank of gas? No, no, because it's like the same size gas tank that my cruise had in it. And it's got basically the same motor. So it's the, I don't think the gas is going to be the same. It's not going to be the same because it is a heavier vehicle. But it's got basically the gas tank is just maybe a gallon bigger.
Speaker: So, you know, I'm not gonna, you know, I'm not, I'm not gonna be one of those guys that go to the gas pump and it's at $150. And it's still rolling. Just to pay for my gas. Yeah. No, I mean, that's, that's the thing I'm looking at is like,
Speaker: I've never, oddly enough, with the exception of my first vehicle, I've never owned a vehicle that came stock with a V8. I've had V8 vehicles, but they didn't come with it from the factory. So I think when I buy my new vehicle, I have to get some of the V8. It's like... I don't know if I've ever had anything like that. I don't know if I've ever had anything. It's a Bronco. Well, your Bronco, but it came stock.
Speaker: Like my S10, my S10, I took out the four cylinder, I'd put a 327 Corvette motor. Yeah. The original order was stock, but I put a two door, two door single cab S10, 327, 428 horsepower. That fucker was quick. It had two speeds, stopped and gone. That was it. There was no in between. I had, um,
Speaker: I had a Ford F -150 that had a 5 .0 in it. Right. It was a stock engine. And I also have Ford F -150 that had the straight six in it. Oh, that was a no. That goddamn truck. That goddamn truck was falling apart. And that engine was money. The truck was literally falling apart. And that engine was money. Yeah. Well, your Bronco had the 351, right? Yeah, 351 modified in it.
Speaker: Uh, my, uh, my, uh, my Pontiac I had had a V six turbocharged V six in it. Right. That was just nasty. That G six GT is nasty. Them things don't fuck around. Oh, Pontiac, Pontiac. I miss Pontiacs because powerful engines, powerful engines. They were, they were the performance package of GM that even if you got a shitty Pontiac, it was, it was quick as fuck.
Speaker: My buddy had a Dodge Stratis. What is Dodge? What is the RS or whatever? The RT. He had a Stratis RT manual. One day I thought he was funny and I was coming on the freeway. Right out here. And I was in the Pontiac and he's seen me and he shot past me like a man. That fucking Pontiac ran that Stratis down and made it look stupid. Yeah, but the Pontiac or the Stratis RT
Speaker: It's a 2 .4 -liter turbo, so it's still a 1 .4 -cylinder. So at most, I had 220 horsepower. I don't know. This is a fast fucking car, but... I want and I've looked at them, and I can't pull the trigger on it because I've been told, no, I thought you wanted an SUV. The Pontiac G5s. It's a 2 .0... It's basically the Cobalt SS. It's the small G6.
Speaker: Yeah. Well, it's a two -door coupe. The G6 is serious. Well, the G6 is a bigger vehicle. I want a two -door. Like, I want a little sports car, but I also want an SUV, so it's kind of like... Go buy it, Moneybags McGee. I'm going to just have to buy both. Oh, yeah, he Moneybags now. All this money you talk about you have... Well, I don't have it. I have it. I don't have it in my account.
Speaker: because, don't even get me started. No, it's like, my mom cashed my checks and I go - No, I just got paid today. I just got paid, I got two grand a day, so.
Speaker: What happened was I don't have the money, but I guess I don't. The app, my mom's got a check cashing app, and the app just doesn't want to work. So I had to send one check back. You know what this reminds me of, Tony? Remember in Martin, when they were always asking old boy what he did for a job?
Speaker: No, I'm excited. I'm excited for Monday. Monday, we start learning about that new program that I was telling the boys about. The whole shit. That's the residual money. I'm waiting on that. That's going to be fun. I understand the residual money. It's for life or for as long as like I can literally set you guys up with a 401k rollover and you pay like three or five dollars a month and I get a buck every month.
Speaker: And as long as you have that policy. Until you learn the fine print and that buck is per 5 ,000 customers signed up residual. People ask me. Well, even at 5 ,000, $5 ,000 a piece is $5 ,000 a month. But you have to have 5 ,000 to get that $1. No, we're doing companies. We're doing companies. And most of the companies we're dealing with are 100 employees plus.
Speaker: It's not 5 ,000. You ain't getting your dollar. No, it's not doing the five. There's no 5 ,000. You ain't getting your dollar. You ain't getting your dollar, homie. Oh, don't worry. I'm going to get my money. Don't you worry about it. Yeah, I bet you will when your wife puts her silhouette out on the corner. I guess there's like 14 or 15 different programs we can set up. And we're just, all I got to do is set appointments. I don't understand nothing. Like I said, you're going to get your money. You're going to be out there in a dress.
Speaker: Ron White's going to be visiting you or whoever that comedian was. Whoever that comedian was that said he'd go to Hawaii or Mexico or whatever. Ron White, he said he went to that fucking street. He said, I went for five years. That's where Jeff's going to be working at. Just go get COVID again and have to shave his beard off.
Speaker: Jeff's actually going to go show up on the podcast one night with makeup, still want to be like, uh, Jeffrey. Oh, it was at work. Sorry. Somebody posted a new video that I have to report. Speaking of videos. It is. Yes. And that's why I was, this is what I was doing when you guys were, uh,
Speaker: We're talking about cars because like I said, I didn't get to it. We got a little blacktop moojo for you guys. We're gonna take a real quick break. We'll be back here in a few minutes. If you aren't already, go ahead and check our guys out in blacktop mojo on all social media and everywhere you stream music at blacktop mojo. Give them some love. Let them know we sent you. We'll be back here in just a few minutes.
Speaker: Our backs against the wall As you float through the room With all the things you've got To make you feel alone And that look that's on your face It leads me to a sooner age
Speaker: Well, please, darling, just say something. I need to understand. Well, tell me why it is you're leaving.
Speaker: I searched the house and hope you left something But I didn't find nothing at all I thought maybe if there's something you'd forgotten Well at least I'd have a reason to cut
Speaker: If I reach by you, but you're not there Crying out to you, but you don't hear Your promise should be there forever And always and always not saying goodbye Watching the tale not break
Speaker: He's down run
Speaker: Watching the daylight fade Up the street as the sun seems low
Speaker: Hey, welcome back to Nonsense School Nonsense, everybody. Hopefully you enjoyed the first hour. Hopefully you guys are having fun hanging out. We see you lurking. We see you hiding even though you ain't paying your bills, you old goofy bastard. You'll be shy. It's OK. But we do appreciate you guys hanging out. Appreciate y 'all listening. If you're not already good, check us out on all social media.
Speaker: at Nonsense Go Nonsense on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. You can also join us live, as I said, every Monday and Wednesday and Saturday night on YouTube and Twitch. And if you don't want to listen to us live, that's fine. You don't have to. Don't worry. We got you covered. You can listen to us on Spotify or anywhere you listen to podcast at. So go give us a follow. Give us a like. And if you guys be so kind, give us a little share. Help us grow. Tell other people about us. We don't mind.
Speaker: Any publicity? What is the word I'm looking for, Jeffrey? You know, more people that know about us is a good thing. No matter... What's the saying? It's... I can't think. Stop publicity. What's the word for it? I'm pulling a Biden. I'm Biden -ing here.
Speaker: Yeah, I am too, fuck. Any mention is a good mention, there you go. Yeah, you can also, yeah, I got completely blanked. You can also email us at nonsenseglass. I can't email that now. Thank you. And we do have a merch store if you're interested in any of that jazz at teespring .com slash nonsense, well nonsense. And I love you, Tony. Yeah, I love you.
Speaker: What the hell did you just say, Jeff? It's my show and I do everything. So I will bless you, Tony. Kiss you on your forehead like I'm the Pope.
Speaker: I'm going on your forehead and click water. It's a good spin. I just spit on you. There you go. I just took a piss, a piss all over my hand. You crossed the line, sir. Shit. Now you've crossed the line. There's always a line. They're just a habitual line crosser. I'm a habitual line crosser. What are you going to do?
Speaker: What are you gonna do? Speaking across the line, Jeffrey, would you like to pick up your most recent Google search at this present time? It's an interesting fact, but I did say it on TikTok, and it's why the penis's shape has the head of a mushroom.
Speaker: What would you care? The evolutionary reason for the shape according to research from the team of scientists 18 of scientists Gordon what I want Gordon Gallip. Oh, I thought you said
Speaker: Yes, that, as in the Gallipoli, the shape of the penis is there to allow to scoop out men's semen from a woman's vagina during sex. I'm never going to look at my dick the same. It's a cum shovel. Pretty much.
Speaker: I don't have a cum shovel by me. That is an interesting fact. Some people may refer to... I was saying, some of these scientists need to get a life. As a cum dumpster. We have cum shovels. Yes, I have a cum shovel.
Speaker: You might want to beat the whole purpose of reproduction and all that. Like if you could shape that way to pull it out. I also read something else. The amount of semen that a man produces in a month, I think it's a month, could impregnate every woman on the planet.
Speaker: This is, this is why, this is why Tony and I tell you no more internet outside of work in the podcast, because your tick tock algorithm is out of control. I'm just saying algorithm is out of control. Who wants to learn about stupid facts? I want the weird ones. There are a lot of cool weird facts out there like
Speaker: Why do certain flowers bloom in the middle of winter and others bloom in the summer? Yeah, but that's a boring fact. That's a boring fact. I want the ones that make me think. You want the ones that are going to put your ass on a fucking list. I am that list. I can't argue that.
Speaker: There is a whole separate Jeff list that you are on all by yourself. When people were really fucked up. There's a whole department in the FBI that's like, what is he doing today? You're FBI agents. You've gone through 20 FBI agents in the last three months because they killed themselves. The last 19 are in therapy. The therapy are dead.
Speaker: they're not even in therapy they're just in like they're like they're just in an insane asylum licking walls or eating dominoes or something that's how the government doesn't fuck with me because they're like you know what he's already
Speaker: That's why the government does fuck with you, though.
Speaker: They don't fuck with me because I'm boring as hell. They're like, oh, there he is. I keep them in jobs. He's sitting in his recliner watching TV again. Let's see him watch it now. Oh. Well, that's the 14th time today he's done that. Somebody should really get him some help. Get him a doll or a demiorgon. Send him that other website.
Speaker: He keeps watching the same video over and over. It's better than Jeff's accidental four hours of tranny porn.
Speaker: It's like four minutes and I was like, wait, change the narrative now. Just like our government.
Speaker: Change the narrative. Where do you think they learned it? They learned it from watching me. Change the narrative to fit your needs, Jeffrey. You are something else, man. I broke the mold when they made me, baby.
Speaker: They destroyed it. Set it on fire. Put it into cryogenic, the ashes cryogenically froze them and stunk them, stuck them in a bunker. This is why I maintain that I won't get into heaven and hell's gonna be afraid I'm gonna take over. That's like, you know what? You're way more fucked up than anybody else here. Let's just keep going. Oh, Jesus. Exactly.
Speaker: It's going to be me and you, Glick, sitting outside the pearly gates. It's going to be me and you sitting outside the pearly gates telling St. Peter dirty jokes. Whose idea was this, Jeff? Both of us same time. St. Peter. Whose idea was it?
Speaker: Same period, I'm pretty sure it was yours. Wait a minute, what? We're not getting beer around here. How the fuckers get me in trouble? Yeah, we somehow get him in trouble. He's sitting on the bench with us. Somebody else has his job now. He's like, you guys are going to fuck us. Fight my ghost gets his job.
Speaker: Come on, Frank. Let us in. Come on. Hey, Pete. Hey, Pete, did you know I was the champ? Shut up, man. Pete's just sitting there like Tony. You got a belt, but I got wings. Not anymore. I don't have to put you in the air, Jeff, if I get done with you. No, he's not lost, though. He's like, he's way too many dirty jokes. It's St. Pete. Not anymore. It's just Pete. Not anymore. It's just Pete.
Speaker: And I have a championship belt. You want to hold it? Too bad. You're not the champ. I am. Oh, hell no. Tony walks by one day. We're like, hey, Tony! Give him a good word. No. What do you mean, no? He's going to be sitting there the whole time going, just sounding like Tony.
Speaker: Tony, can you sneak me a case of Budweiser, buddy, for old times? Come on, Tony. Come on, Chris is going through the DTEs. As Tony's going through together, be like, hey, he did a podcast with us. He ain't in there. He ain't allowed in there either. He's with us. He's with us. Yes.
Speaker: Back that bus right over Tony. He slammed the gate right in his face. What the fuck? All of a sudden you hear him sitting, as Tony sits down, fucking him. Tony's like, I guess I'm not getting into heaven. Thought I was going, sorry people. Heaven. It's just heaven. Eeyore. That's who he is. Tony, you're our Eeyore. Holy shit. That is true. You are Eeyore. No.
Speaker: Yes. Yes. What's going on? Yeah, we had to change it up because I'm out. That makes you Winnie the Pooh and I'm big lead. Yeah.
Speaker: What were the cool ones in the new horror movie? Hell yeah! Fuck it, Tony. That's a slasher killer. I guess I'm going to kill you today. Don't run. Whatever. Here I come. He just pulls out a gun. He's like, fuck it. Just fuck it. I'll run my bullet. Pew, pew, pew. That's the most excitement he gets as you shoot.
Speaker: every time he fires his gun he yells pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew
Speaker: Yeah, pretty much. Guilty by association. We're on our way. Smoke's coming with us. We can carry this right out of her. Inhale all together. The four of us. I'm just saying, we're going to be like those guys that befriended little Nicky in the Adam Sandler movie. Well, in little Nicky's room, just jamming out. Man, the way they did Hitler.
Speaker: I mean, I mean, that would be a reason to befriend the devil. Come on. Let me give you a try. Let me give you a try. Let me give you a try. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Next Wednesday. Okay. I'm scheduling. I'm giving a little twist though. I'm going to go to Nikki's room and go jam out. I'll be back.
Speaker: Hey, you know, you're dick shaped like that. You'll never guess. I'm just going to start introducing myself to people in real life like that. Hey, you know, I'm the champ.
Speaker: I'm the chair. I'm going to come over to Chris's house and re -draft his traverse.
Speaker: That's actually a good idea. Get a short, get a bus wrap on it. And instead of like, you know how they write like whatever school. Like what's going, what's just nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense, what's nonsense,
Speaker: I need to make that sure. Hey, you know, I'm the champ. That would be a good shirt. I smell toast. By the way, I'm the champ. By the way, did you know I'm the champ? Chris has a heart attack. The ambulance shows up. Hey, did you guys know I'm the champ? Fix me after. But acknowledge it. Acknowledge it. Say I'm the champ! We'll be here.
Speaker: I acknowledge it. Tell everybody I'm the champ before I die. God damn it. The paramedics are like, you're not having a heart attack. I don't have the champ. You're not dying, champ. I'm the champ. I beat a heart attack. Oh, hell yeah. Does somebody make a toast? Get me out of here.
Speaker: I'm going to get to meet Tom Brady one day and be like, Hey, how you doing? I'm the champ. I'm going to get to meet Tom Brady one day and be like, Hey, how you doing? I'm the champ. I'm going to get to meet Tom Brady one day and be like, Hey, how you doing? I'm the champ. I'm going to get to meet Tom Brady one
Speaker: Tom Brady looks around and he was like, are we doing to make a wish today? Nobody told me. Hey, little fella. What the fuck signed me up for this shit? What the hell are you talking to? I ain't dying. I'm just the champ, Tom Brady.
Speaker: suck it. Super Bowl ring like I got one of those. Oh, he breaks his fingers. He breaks his finger. Mine now, motherfucker. I go to the flea market. I can buy Super Bowl Championship rings for like 50 bucks. Yeah, I get one for each finger. You're like, oh, that's cute. Seven. I got ten.
Speaker: You got seven. I got 10. What now? And I'm the champ. Suck it up. Take that, Tom Brady. I'm just kidding. This is your last ring. This is your last ring. Champ ring! Nobody has to know. Yeah, this is my...
Speaker: This is my 1974 Miami Dolphins. I'm trying to work on another broadcast for tomorrow night. I know you're going to be out with the family and stuff, but I'm trying to include y 'all in it. I'm busy. I mean, Tony, the past is the past. Tomorrow is a future just like today's called the present. See, y 'all are going to be busy. But I want to include you in what I'm going to do. And I'm trying to work a couple of things out.
Speaker: So you do that during? Oh, I'm brainstorming.
Speaker: You have to follow me. Look at how far I got you. I'm trying to get like you a little bit. I'm just not growing a beer. You heard that. Don't fucking encourage him, Tony. You heard that, Jeffrey. You heard that, Jeffrey. I knew it. I knew it. I gave you that little sound. I gave you that little sound. Nobody wants to be like me. Nobody wants to be like me. I'm going to give you that sound. No, no, no, no, because the sound bite I make is only going to say, is going to be Tony saying he wants to be like me, because I'm the champ. Because I am the greatest. Because I am the greatest.
Speaker: Let me know if we're free tomorrow night. Tony wants to be like Glick. I mean, you literally know this guy has editing software. You can't say anything without him using against him. Hence the song he fucking plays. I didn't edit that. No, you made it into a video, you brick. Oh, yeah.
Speaker: Duh, why do you think I encouraged you? Again, it doesn't matter. What matters right here and in the now and in the present, Jeffrey, as you said, Tony said he wants to be like me. See, Tony, you walked into that, like, fucking... Have you seen that kid on TikTok that walks into that slow -moving propeller? Tony said, when I grow up, I want to be like my hero, Blake. That's what he said, too. That's okay, little buddy.
Speaker: He's got a big enough head. Don't take your vitamins. Don't say your prayers and drink a lot of beer. And you could be like me one day. Oh, hell yeah. It's actually really simple. You grow a giant beer and act like a complete ass. It's not that hard. Done. Yeah. Jeff's got every qualification except these three foot tall. So he's like a mini me. He's a mini me. Oh, Jesus.
Speaker: I don't know why but I want to kick I have to watch Moneyball
Speaker: I've been seeing clips of it. And I started watching that Dan Ratcliffe FBI, where he's an FBI agent, goes undercover as a white supremacist. I started to watch that. Oh, it looks pretty good. What's the name of it? What? It's, I can't remember what it's, yeah, Dan Ratcliffe movie. Hold on, let me look it up. It starts with an I.
Speaker: It's called, come on internet, you're so slow. Jesus. Emberium. 2016, it's called Emberium. Emperium. I don't know how well you can see that. There it is, Tony.
Speaker: I haven't seen it. He's an FBI agent that goes on. It's Nate Foster as a young, an inexperienced FBI agent when a major terrorist plot to uncover is uncovered that he must go deep undercover to infiltrate a gang of white supremacists. That is smart.
Speaker: Like at one point, like a buddy that he knows from a long time, that's a person of color. And they're marching in the street, Dan Ratcliffe's undercover, and he screams out on top of his lungs, go away you fucking.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: But I don't know, I saw... I saw a clip of it. I saw a clip of that movie and I was like, I should watch that. Of course. Well, I like movies that are just, it's based on a true story. It was an absolutely true story. But like, he does some weird movies. I don't know if you've seen that... Charlie Sheen do a movie like that back in the day.
Speaker: No, that's that's above the law Beyond the law that's beyond the law where he goes undercover as a biker. I Just watched that the other day Fucking weird movie. I want to see that new one the Dan Radcliffe's gonna be in it's it's the weird all yankovic story Yeah, it comes out this year Dan Radcliffe plays weird all yankovic
Speaker: And Weird Al actually went to Dan and said, I want you to play me. And Dan Radcliffe was like, really? Rainn Wilson said that. That's right. It looks good. But I don't know if you guys saw that, Swiss Army Man? That movie's fucking weird. Dan Radcliffe plays a dead body. I'm not obsessed with Harry Potter, so I'm not sure. I'm not either, but. He broke off to every Dan Radcliffe.
Speaker: No, no, I was just talking about Dan Wright's movie. Because I started to watch that Imperium. He's on. He's going to do another movie on something. I know his job. He thought of his own Harry Potter mode, I think it is. He's so far out of that Harry Potter mode though. No, we're going to remember his death. Oh, yeah. Every time you see him, you just think Harry Potter. But he was messing up, this is us.
Speaker: There's a new show on Prime that I'm gonna start watching when I get all done with the boys. It's called the terminal list with Chris Pratt. Yeah. I saw the preview for that. I thought about something else the other day and I wanted to bring it up and I cannot remember for life. I was literally lying in bed last night and my wife called because it's daytime where she was.
Speaker: And, you know, state.
Speaker: Swimming. And she called me, and I was trying to go back. She called me, just kind of check in, like, hey, how you doing, mother? I knew home decor at her new house. I didn't know the chick. She sent you a picture. Which styles do you think would go better with my new bathroom? The blue ones, or the light blue ones? I was trying to go back to sleep, and I thought of something, and I said, that'd be a good conversation for the podcast. And I wrote it down.
Speaker: in my head. I remember typing it but I didn't actually type anything. I was that much asleep. I believe you. It was like 2 30 in the morning. We know what you were doing when you were laying there in bed. You were looking up your goofy ass TikToks and your goofy ass Google searches. No, I was literally dead to sleep because I can't have my phone next to me because I don't hear the alarm go off.
Speaker: I have to put it across the room. So when the alarm does go off, I have to get up and turn it off. I'm the complete opposite. Mine sits on my nightstand. But the alarm sound I use is actually called Chevrolet by Hard Target. And it's a super loud song. Bixby wakes me up every morning.
Speaker: I pick that song is because it's crazy loud on my phone. Well, I might what I use on my phone is Bixby and it's just like but it plays a little bit of music and then
Speaker: Uh, there's a voice and it's like, uh, like a Siri type voice. And it's like, good morning. It is six 10 on Friday. The weather is, and in news today, Chris Pratt new show on prime and so it wakes me up because it's somebody talking to me. The music doesn't, it's not somebody talking to me. It's kind of like Jarvis. Yeah, it is Jarvis. I wonder if I could change it to a male voice. I bet you could.
Speaker: Jarvis, yes. No, because it sounded like Jarvis. There's an eye on YouTube. He's trying to build a Jarvis AI. My old iPhone that I had when I...
Speaker: My old iPhone that I had it working, I changed it to a male voice with a British accent. Right. And because it was like Alfred, so he called me Master Glick instead of like Master Lane, you know, Alfred used to do that to Batman. It's a simple piece, Tony. A buddy mind's got a GPS that talks like Yoda.
Speaker: Yeah. It sounded just like Alfred. And it would be like, hey, serious. My buddy's GPS in his Jeep. He'll be driving around in his Jeep. And all of a sudden, you will turn left to the next right. And you're like, what? Was that fucking Yoda? He's like, yeah, it's awesome. His buddy's a fucking virgin for life. I want one that sounds like Chewbacca. All the time.
Speaker: I have no idea what it's gonna, tell me to turn somewhere. Turn left motherfucker. I want Sam Jackson. That's what you need. Wake up motherfucker. The next motherfucker left. Turn right motherfucker. It's programming. It can't say more than three words. Turn left motherfucker. Turn right motherfucker.
Speaker: Stop here. Turn the fucking car around. You're going the wrong way. No, I love that. I love that. Not just the neighborhood. It goes across the motherfucking. No, but like I like I said, everybody like when you guys send a Snapchat.
Speaker: I have a different sound for everything. So I don't have to look at my phone by the sound. I know who sent me what. I have one sound for everything. No, I have different songs set up for everybody.
Speaker: Yeah, just used to hearing that while he cries himself to sleep. Shit. His wife's like, I could do this better by myself. But my wife called me last night. My wife called me last night. No shame, man. It happens. And I knew it was her calling. So I got up out of bed, grabbed my phone, and then I set my phone back down. Do you use ringtones still by chance? Do either of you? Yes. What is your wife's ringtone? Just out of curiosity.
Speaker: pretty woman okay i don't i don't i don't ever i never have my sound on on my phone because i always have my sound the amount of notifications i get i would fucking throw my phone well no no but like that that's what i'm saying like you say i know you have to understand because you are everywhere
Speaker: I have games like you have social media. So you've got to understand how annoying that would be. No, we'll see. When I got this phone, I literally, I put almost no games on my phone.
Speaker: I use my phone more than anything. I have so many pointless, just time -wasting games. Literally, all you're doing is tapping the screen type, dumb, stupid games. No, but that's why I put ringtones for everybody. That way, if I get a notification, like, if you guys are going live on Monday, I'll get that notification. And it's just a beep. Oh. Oh, you're right. You're right. If you call me. I don't get anything. Fuck you. I don't get anything. If you call me.
Speaker: If you call, he's calling, answer the phone. No, it says there's an asshole calling, ignore, it's asshole calling, ignore, asshole calling, ignore, you know, so, no, but like, well, the only, there's only like four people that actually call my phone.
Speaker: Yeah, they'll say nobody calls my phone. There's literally two people that call my phone. But like my Zoom ring is 400 times a day. I was going to say, there's two people that call my phone that I actually talk to on a regular basis. But I get it. I get telemarketers every day. I don't get it. You know what they're doing? I'm getting a lot lately, yes.
Speaker: Hey, we're calling about your property that you have for sale. Are you still wanting to sell that property? Yes. Oh, dude, I would totally play that. I have a property? Sure. Well, the other day I answered it, and I was like, they did that, and I was like, I have property? I'm like, yeah. At this address, are you still interested in selling it? I was like, for sure. How much you want to give me? You mail me a check over here, and I'll send you the paperwork.
Speaker: Yeah, exactly. And the guy on the other end was like, that's not how this works. And I'm like, I don't know. You're the one that called me asking if I wanted to sell some property. Called me. I'm telling you, I'll sell it. Send me the check at my house. Once I get it, I'll send you the paperwork. Once I get it and it clears, I'll send you the paperwork.
Speaker: Yeah. That's how this works. You want to buy. I am selling. So we're going to play by my rules. It's not your rules. You're living in my world now. I'm the champ. Did you know I'm the champ? That's what you do when they call from now on. Did you know I'm the champ? Anything but what they want to talk about. Anything else? 21 time starting five champions. I'm the greatest champion of all time. Did you know that?
Speaker: You can only refer to me as the champ. That's how you can tell how dedicated to telemarketer is talking about anything else, but what they want to sell you. I do that. The next thing I do best friends with Frank from India.
Speaker: I got one thing to say to you, buddy.
Speaker: No, I already got it What's your real name Jeremy work if you expect this if you expect this relationship to grow you gotta stop lying to me
Speaker: foundations are not built on lies. I know your name. Tell me the truth. I told you I'm the champion. That's the truth. Yeah. No, I don't I actually I don't get telemarker calls. I wonder if I can become friends with the telemarkers. I don't have any other friends in real life. It would be fun. I mean, they're always available. You can always call it back.
Speaker: They don't always answer the phone. They call you back like a move, though. Yeah, they do. And some of you guys are talking about today. Hey, Jeremy. What's going on, buddy? How's your day been going? Oh, Mr. Why? My name was Mr. Champ. Sorry, champ. Sorry, champ. How's the kids? How's the dog? You said you got a new puppy. How's the puppy doing? Nice, nice. Oh, that's fantastic. By the way,
Speaker: By the way, did you know I'm the champ? Jeremy, Jeremy, I know you got stuff. We'll get to that. Did you know I'm the champ? I've done telemarketing jobs. It sucks. I thought about doing it. I'm glad I'm doing what I'm doing now. I did it for like two weeks. You're basically doing it now. No, I don't.
Speaker: It's not even remotely because every one of these clients that I call
Speaker: Calm down, Harvey Weinstein. Oh wait, Weinstein wasn't. Who was the other really famous pyramid team guy? Who was the other really famous pyramid team guy? Who was the other really famous pyramid team guy? Who was the other really famous pyramid team guy? Who was the other really famous pyramid team guy? Who was the other really famous pyramid team guy? Who was the other really famous pyramid team guy? Who was the other really famous pyramid team guy? Who was the other really famous pyramid team guy? Who was the other really famous pyramid team guy? Who was the other really famous pyramid team guy? Who was the other really famous pyramid team guy? Who was the other really famous pyramid team guy? Who was the other really famous pyramid team guy? Who was the other really famous pyramid team guy? Who was the other really famous pyramid team guy? Who was the other really famous pyramid team guy? Who was the other really famous pyramid team guy? Who was the other really famous pyramid team guy? Who was the other really famous pyramid team guy? Who was the other really famous pyramid team guy? Who
Speaker: The most famous Ponzi scheme in recent history. Bernard Madoff. Yeah, Madoff. Bernie Madoff. Come down over there, Jeff Madoff. Not even remotely. We are a month away from billion dollars. We are a satirical. How do you like that for a big word? Fuckers, look that up. Satirical. Ooh. Somebody got Chris awarded a gap.
Speaker: It's a calendar, thank you very much. I put it on my desk, because I bought a new desk, so I got it for my desk. It was a gift. Congratulations. Did you buy the desk? Hey, I bought a desk. Yeah, I bought it. No, but did you buy your chair? No. Judging from the fact that you're still standing, you bought a car and you got a chair. Hey, Jeff, did you know I'm the champ? He's his home champion, ladies and gentlemen. He is his home champion.
Speaker: I still say that we could break that world record that I sent you guys too. I'm not doing it. I'll do it as a telephone to raise money. Max.
Speaker: It would give us recognition and it would put us on the world stage because it would bring a world record. I'd do it. Let's go. I'm ready. You will die because of the amount of energy you drink.
Speaker: It's only 12 days. You will be like in that episode of The Boys. Well, folks, Jeff's head just exploded, but did you know I'm the champ and I'm still here? I'm just saying I can literally go live while I'm working. You know, we can take shifts.
Speaker: I think I don't think it works that way. I think it would have to be a continuous. I think somebody asked me on screen. Yeah, but yeah, but I think if we went into it. I gotta do 12 days. I'm playing some music six of them days. We can make our own music. I'm not doing a formal music.
Speaker: What is the number to call Guinness? Because it's got to be witnessed by a Guinness person. Question is, I already know the answer for Tony. Yeah, I don't do that. Could you go 12 days on a live stream? 12 consecutive days? The only thing I see a problem with is our internet pulling out. Well, that or without flogging your dolphin.
Speaker: That's the tough one. Well, no, Tony. I know you can't, Tony. You can't because you don't do that. That's the issue I have. That's why I said we take shifts. Yeah, but I don't know if we can take shifts. So if we go in as a collective, we have to do it as a click. Wait a minute. Right, but you can turn off your camera. We have to do the stream as a collective. Right. Well, I mean, yeah, bathroom break. Yeah, bathroom break.
Speaker: I'm gonna sleep a lot. Trust me. There's no way somebody went 11 days and some odd hours without sleep. When I'm going to sleep. We could do like those like everybody's doing on on tiktok and shit now where it's like, try to wake me, send me gifts and try to wake me. Yeah. Every time you say if you send this gift, this sound will go off. And if you send me this gift, I seen one the other day, disturb me while I'm at work.
Speaker: Tell me where you work. I'm going to come and smack the shit out of you. How's that for disturbance that work? Exactly. I'm going to walk in there with my belt on the shoulder. Drive my car through your fucking office. Hey, you know I'm the champ. You know I'm the champ. Hey. Just go up to their desk. How you doing? What are you doing? I do what I want to do. By the way, I'm the champ. Oh, hell yeah.
Speaker: I literally, I was watching a video. The reason why I brought up that world record thing, I was watching a video, it was like, car world records. And I was like, wow. Did you say horrible records? The car. Car. Oh, car. Like the, you know, it was like the world record, backwards jump. No, it was like a backwards jump loop to loop, like where they built a giant loop and Range Rover. Jeff, no more internet for you. No more internet.
Speaker: because all that's doing is giving you the idea. That's giving you ideas. I looked it up and I said, I wonder if we could go get a world record for nonsensical nonsense. And then I was like, fuck 11 days. Jesus Christ. I think the longest I've gone is like 30 hours. That's what I assumed it would be, like maybe four days, something like that. And then I saw 11 days and I was like, fuck. But I mean, that's the thing. All you have to do is be on a continuous,
Speaker: stream. Continue the stream so you'd be able to. Yes. What happened? I was reading Smoke's comments. See Smokey come in there. We could do that. We could do 12 days. That's what I'm saying. Four of us. We can bring guests in. Yeah. Just a 12 -hour, 12 -day podcast. I can have my starting five against the Yankees and Tom Brady and Ric Flair. There you go. We can do it all at once. You know? I can. I can. I mean, Lolly, act.
Speaker: over some of, I won't say the greatest because I'm clearly the greatest champion of all time, but some of the best champions, I'm the greatest, but I would just have to prove my dominance over them. All right, I agree, Tony, it's a bad idea. 12 days. 12 hours in, I'm going shut the fuck up, Chris. 12 days of me talking about how great I am and the fact that Tony wants to be me. Tony wants to be like, hey guys, I know we're at,
Speaker: uh we're at 12 hour mark and i don't know if i've told you yet but i'm the champ just every hour on the hour Chris reminds us he's the champ for 12 days straight to the point you can set your fucking watch by it Jeffrey it's been uh
Speaker: It's been 327 hours since I told you. Have I told you that I'm the champ? I'm the champ. We're literally, I'm in my chair sleeping and I just keep hearing in my head. Olsen is with friends. You see Chris sleeping in his bed. I'm the champ.
Speaker: I have a log that goes up every hour. I just wake up and hit the screen. I'm scared of this out of both of you. I was just like, what the fuck, dude? By the time we get done, you both have. I'm the champ, PTSD.
Speaker: You can never watch any championship. If we did do a 12 day podcast that broke the world record, it's actually 11 days in like 17 or 11 days, 12 hours, something like that or something. So if we did 11, let's say we did 11 days, 13 hours, we can literally all say we're the champ forever. Well, I mean, you guys could be co -champs, but I'm the champ.
Speaker: I think we discussed that. I'm Dutch. I am the champion. 25 years I ain't learned shit, Tony. He's a little slow, Tony. Yeah, they're coach hams, but you're like Starfire or Starlight or whatever the fucking name is. You're the coach, man. Oh, God. Let me start it. I am the champ. Seriously, Tony.
Speaker: I'm just going to get that on my car. Need to see that show. Hi, I'm the champ on the side of my car. The eyebrows is on the champ. You know, you do it doing like a decal, like on a NASCAR instead of the champ. You ain't first, you're last. I have to go fast. There's a cougar in the car.
Speaker: I know, I put it there. Oh my god, that movie is so stupid. It's so stupid, but it's got some of the best one -liners. Some of the best scenes, but I can't watch the whole movie. It's just, oh, it's so stupid. Oh my goodness. You're throwing out of an athlete. Oh, man.
Speaker: But I'll tell you what, you want to beat the shit out of those little kids at his good lord or something. What TV show is this? It's not a TV show. It's the Ricky Bobby story. Talladega Nights. Talladega Nights, yeah. I'm all jacked up on Mount Doomship. I'll beat your ass.
Speaker: I like to pick one of those tuxedo t -shirt
Speaker: No, the best is, dude, that chick was Ricky Bobby for his buddy and his buddy Buzz and he's like, hey, you know, this house makes noises. Well, it's a new house. Why am I talking to you? I hate you.
Speaker: I think the kids on those damn talent diggin' necks was cussin' more than the kids on the new edition story. Yeah, probably. Hey, the dude, one of the two of my favorite welfare movies is... Stepkits. Howdy, goodnight and stepbrothers, man. Stepbrothers killed. I'm on a boat.
Speaker: Hey Jason, good night buddy. You going to bed? It's Friday night. You ain't gotta go to bed. It's Friday night. I'm gonna go lay him down. I gotta cut his shirt. I gotta be at work at five. I don't wanna go to work. I gotta go to work.
Speaker: What about my eggs? You'll make breakfast. Your brother will make breakfast for you. See what I got to eat. What kind of eggs you like? Scrambled or everything? Hot eggs. Hot eggs. Yeah, that's what's up. You're on camera. Tony. Get you some fried eggs. Give them the eggs we used to get in the military. Powdered. No. Get your fried egg. Put it on toast with some bacon and tomato. And as we learned the other night,
Speaker: god damn Tony, king of the mayonnaise sandwich over there. Hey, hey, hey. Smoke was up here with us. And Tony, I'm gonna make his sandwich. He's got one of them squeezable things at mayonnaise and he's just like. Made two sandwiches and used three and a half bottles of mayonnaise. It was like.
Speaker: You're sick. I want you to have fun with your family tomorrow, Glick, for real. Oh no, I was looking forward to it. I think it's going to be awesome. Let's really do that. Jeff, get off the computer. Oh, I'm going to play golf all week. I think the marathon is going to be you staying off the damn internet. I don't think I could last 12 days off the internet. Now, you have to pay me to do that. Yes. Good night. Well, we would technically do it on the internet. I seriously think, like day two, we all just said it like this.
Speaker: Oh, could you imagine by the time we got to day 12 Tony's whole head would be a G line. Because I would be looking up new stories and top tens and everything just to fuck with him for 12 days. You know what I would do next at the time? I would work on my resume. Jeff and I would develop our own sign language or I'd be like,
Speaker: We can just look at each other, we know what's going to happen. Like the chick and the fucking the boys, man. Yeah. I can tell by Jeff's face what he's about to say and or do just by the expression. I'll just sit here like this.
Speaker: That's why sometimes I can get, that's why sometimes I can. Tony check your Snapchat. That's how we get Tony on social media. We do a 12 day long broadcast and Tony's like, fuck these two. I'm done with social media. Tony gets one of his phone, his tablet, everything. And on the 13th day, Tony becomes Amish.
Speaker: I'm gonna go alone over to the Middle East and become Muslim. I'm not fucking with you. Tony's like, I'm done hanging out with white people. We see Tony two months later. We see Tony two months later. He's got one of those sweet ass Abish beards that's down past his chest. No, no. He's in the airport hiding. No, no. No. No. Too young, Bill. Too young, Bill. Too young, Bill. Too young, Bill. Too young, Bill. Too young, Bill. Too young, Bill. Too young, Bill.
Speaker: Gentlemen, y 'all have fun. Have a safe, comfortable weekend. I know everything's going to be good. What's up? You got kids this weekend too. Oh, I always have kids. Yeah, you do. You do. So I do that, get up early, and I'm excited. She's a single dad now. That is why I moved her up in her new home.
Speaker: She gon' come and be like, hey babe, it's me. I ain't never come home. Take care of yourself. Just so you know, Glick was right. I do live here now. She went from Harlem, nice to European. The only time she's ever, the only time she's ever heard of the words that I was right, hey, the fat one was right. I do live here now. I used to be like, the fat one. But I don't know how to charm that. Thank you much, my brother. I got to get my ass back into the swing. I was forcing myself to work today, and I'm beat. I know y 'all. Just take care of yourself. Not only physically.
Speaker: Take care of yourself. Yeah, I'm working on it. But I'll definitely holler at y 'all Monday, and like I said, everybody out there, definitely, let's do it with 2K old God.
Speaker: Mother had your mother mother mother had your mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother
Speaker: I'm Bigfoot. You're gonna leave your belt in the house for Bigfoot. I'm gonna bust Bigfoot in the head with it. You're gonna be in the forest out there and Bigfoot gonna be like, oh, see, you're the champ. I'm Bigfoot. You know, I'm the champ. Bigfoot will come out there, oh, hell yeah. Bigfoot comes out, that's my boy. I'm gonna catch you up, y 'all, man. Y 'all take care, though, for real. Yeah, what's up, man? Take care of yourself. Peace out, dude.
Speaker: No, it would come out, kick you with a stomach, hit you with a glitz stutter. That's what you get for leaving me in a goddamn orphanage. This game's got a tournament that I'm going to start tonight. It's a golf game. Calm down, dude. Oh my god, dude. I love playing golf. I used to play Tiger Woods back in the day. My buddy Kevin and I, we used to get drunk out here. This thing was like five bucks. This is five bucks, so I couldn't pass it up. I was like, yeah, I'll give you that.
Speaker: Oh no, I know. I can get golf for free with my Xbox game pass that I was talking about. The ultimate game pass? Yeah, I'm not actually looking into it for PlayStation. I haven't decided yet. It is because I don't really play a lot because I spend a lot of time at work. And I hear Kevin playing and I'm like, oh, I want to play, but I got to work.
Speaker: Has a typing up an email so that's why I got the speaker so I can crank it up and ignore this Crap he's he's playing. Mm -hmm You sound jealous No European I played I played
Speaker: two rounds of golf before the show. I finished work and I was like, okay, I'm gonna play golf. I played for a little bit and I have yet to come at par or over par. I'm under par every game so far. Hell yeah. Well, it's actually really good. Yeah, go ahead. We'll take a real quick break. A little blacktop mojo for your ear holes. Yeah. And I don't think we played this song in a while and it's every time I
Speaker: put my playlist on, even though I put it on shuffle, either their version of this song, their version of this song pops up or the original artist's version of this song pops up. And I can't help but jam out to them. I don't know. I've been the same thing. With that being said, it is the second hour. So we got a cover song from BlacktopMojo.
Speaker: Check them out wherever you stream music and on all social media, at BlacktopMojo. Give the guys some love, let them know we sent you. And we'll be back here in just a few moments. Okay, okay, I got you. This is about to get interesting.
Speaker: Now here you go again, you say you want your freedom But who am I to bring you down? There's only right that you should play it the way you feel it But listen carefully to the sound
Speaker: Dreams of loneliness are like a heartbeat drives you mad Oh stillness of remembering what you had And what you lost Yeah, what you had And what you lost
Speaker: It happens when it's raining And players, they only love you when they're playing I said hey women, yeah they will come and they will go When the rain washes you clean, you know
Speaker: Oh yeah, I see the crystal vision But I keep my vision to myself But it's only me who wants to wrap around your dream But have you any dreams you like to sell?
Speaker: It drives you mad On the stillness of remembering what you had And what you lost You know what you had And what you lost
Speaker: And players, they only love you when they're playing Not to hate women, yet they will come and they will go Well, the rainwater's too clean, you know
Speaker: And players, they only love you when they're playing Nothing, women, yet they will come and they will go The world, the rain, why share to clean your mind?
Speaker: Tried too much
Speaker: Yeah! Welcome back to Nonsense School Nonsense, everybody. How you doing? How you living? Hopefully you enjoyed that second hour of the show. Hopefully you're having fun tonight. We're having fun. Just in case you guys didn't know, Jeff, did you know I'm the champ?
Speaker: So if you guys don't already go and check us out on all social media, check us out on the Facebook, the TikTok, the Instagram, the Twitcher. You can join us live every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday nights here on YouTube and Twitch, sometimes Twitter, for the most part Twitter, we're on Twitter, but you can't really comment or conversate with us. So yeah, if you've been Twitch to hit up the chatters box with us.
Speaker: If you don't want to hang out this slide, that's fine. We got that covered too. Go ahead and listen to us on Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts at. Again, that's all that nonsensical nonsense. Give us a follow, give us a like, and if you be so kind, give us a share. Help us grow. Tell other people about us. Get the word out there. We also got an email, a nonsensical nonsense podcast at email .com. You can hit us up there if you'd like.
Speaker: and a merch store if you want any of the Nonsense Goodies at teespring .com slash Nonsense Will Nonsense podcast. We are in the third and final hour of greatness. Well, greatness because I'm here. Jeff. Jeff is Jeff. Jeff. Jeff, I have something for you, buddy. I hope you enjoy this. My name is Jeff.
Speaker: Yeah. Can I get it to gotta let the beat drop? See, as as we discussed before, see, now you have my ringtone. You just have to add it to your phone. I don't know how to make ringtones or add ringtones. Back in the day, remember back in the day, you could just like download them from. Well, no, uh
Speaker: It's actually really simple. It depends on the phone you have. There's tutorials all over. And it's pretty much a step by step process. Without going too far into it, or too much in depth, I just want to give a little shout out real quick to a former member of the show.
Speaker: Mike Ostero is the big dog. Good looking out, brother. I don't know if you'll hear this or if you're listening or if anybody else listens. I don't hear this, but good looking out, brother. Hit me up. Let me know how you're doing. For real. I've said it on here a couple of times. I'm kind of curious. I see him every once in a while on TikTok.
Speaker: He doesn't, uh... He makes me up on TikTok. He really does. He makes me question my sanity. It's kind of like being around me. You're doing such a sad video, but you're still trying to be sexy. What are you doing?
Speaker: but uh you know some people stick to the brand i'm just saying my brand is well my brand is uh yeah i don't know if you guys know this or not but i'm the champ it's my brand you know it's what i do it's kind of like what i do i wake up in the morning and i piss excellence
Speaker: Dude, dude. I can't feel my legs. So the boys. We're not going to talk too much about it because like I said, I don't want to go in spoilers. But the stretch arm song guy that comes around mother's milk's neck, that wasn't an arm.
Speaker: Oh, yeah, no, no, no, no, no, that wasn't... Holy shit! Don't be so close, Mikey. That was funny, it's like I was watching the show and Kevin comes in the room and they're looking through the security monitors, they're seeing all these soaps. By the way... Mother's book says, that dude's got a lump of hog. And I went, what?
Speaker: If Kevin's like, what does he mean? I was like, never mind. PSA, for anybody who listens to this, who would like, if you have not started, go watch the boys on Prime. It's fucking crazy as hell. It's hilarious. But it is not kid friendly. No.
Speaker: No, I'm literally, Kevin walks in the room, I'm starting to turn shit off. And this is the guy that like, when Kevin was four, I was like, you want to watch Jaws? You want to watch a movie? I mean the end of the season finale, the very end of season two,
Speaker: I'm fantastic. I'm the great... Actually, I say that and I was like, that's kind of what I do right now. I just need a rooftop to stand upon. Oh my God.
Speaker: Did you know, I did find something interesting about it, Simon Plague playing Huey's dad. In the comics, the Huey was drawn to look like Simon Pegg, but it took so long for the TV show to get made that Simon Pegg was too old to play Huey.
Speaker: They originally based Huey's character on Simon Pegg. But since Simon Pegg was too old to play Huey, they made him do his dad. I thought that interesting.
Speaker: Charley recommend checking it out and it's an easy once you get past the first couple episodes Yeah, you do have to get into it. It's an easy binge watch You'll fly through episodes without even realizing and there's only like eight nine episodes per season. So it's not like 40 minutes but it's It's different. I'll give it that It is it is not Marvel. It is not Marvel. It is not Disney. I
Speaker: It is not Disney. But as we've stated, it is not kid for you. I mean, yeah, just don't let your kids watch it. Don't be a bad parent. Don't let your kids watch it. Yeah, you know, I've watched movies with my kids where I'm like, should I be watching this? That'll be all right. But this? This? I'm like, Kevin, get out of the room. We watch horror movies all the time together. Like, you know.
Speaker: No, no, you know, I mean, her second movies as a parent, it doesn't bother me. Yeah. Because one way or another, they're going to hear it one way or another, probably from my mouth. You know, like the blood and guts and everything like that. It's just, it's just. There's a lot of, there's a lot of references that with the blood and guts, even that's not
Speaker: There's a lot of references that I don't want to have to explain to my kids. Exactly. Especially to Cash or Kevin or even like Tony's kid, Jason. They are, I mean, your kid, like I wouldn't mind like your oldest watching it. She would get the references. The girls, the girls. The girls would probably get it. But at the end of the day,
Speaker: I would much rather - You don't want to watch it with them in the room because then you're giggling at stuff and then they start giggling and you start asking questions. Yeah, I would just much rather pretend like they don't understand that stuff still. Yeah. As a dad with daughters, yeah. If your daughter gets older, you'll understand like, yeah, I'd just much rather, like even when you're like 40, I would like to pretend like you still don't understand that. Right. Yeah.
Speaker: I would not watch that show with my parents in the room. Well, your parents were there because well, no, they my dad might watch it. That's something my dad and I would watch together. But in certain parts, we would both be kind of snickering in the clamps. So like maybe this maybe I know in your parents like I do. I don't know. Maybe you didn't have this issue, but
Speaker: Remember the first time, like for me, like the first time I was ever watching a movie with my parents and there was like a nude scene or a sex scene. Right, right. Super weird and super awkward. Oh, super awkward. Like, you know, cause like I said, we watch horror movies and stuff like that. So there's always nudity or whatever. And I usually just, I like, I know when it's coming up. So I just fast forward. Fast forward for the kids. My kids, like, you know, this is like nonchalant. Like, you know, I was like, how are you guys so cool? Like when I was your age,
Speaker: I remember watching basic instinct with my parents and I had seen it like a couple of days before.
Speaker: But I can't believe your parents. No, it was just like my dad and I, my mom has never been a big TV fan. My mom will sit in the background and read a book or so or whatever. But my dad and I will sit there and watch movies, endless. And when we got HBO in the house, we just burnt through HBO because we had. We had that. We had that. We had a satellite dish. So you'd have HBO East and then
Speaker: two hours later, whatever was on HBO East was on HBO West. When something awkward would come up like, oh, you know what? I'm going to go back. Late night HBO and Skinemax back in the day for us or men in general. Men of our age or a little bit older than us.
Speaker: back in the day. You watch that blur. You watch that blur. I think that's a movie. You know, when you finally got cable and you had HBO, you had Cinemax. It is like one o 'clock in the morning and it's a Saturday night and everybody's in bed, but you're still awake. It's like, oh, hello, Cinemax. Now they just put that on. Now that's Riverdale, for fuck's sake. Are we watching Disney? What the fuck? No, but he's watching Riverdale, but I've just seen her.
Speaker: I've seen what she ate for dinner yesterday. That's on Riverdale? Yeah.
Speaker: I went back in my day. Well, I mean, back in my fucking Sears catalog was fucking boy. We had to we had to we would we could find a gold mine if we were walking through the woods and found an old beauty mag that had the pages stuck together and it was all wet from rain or whatever. It was like, I can carefully dry this out. You see, it's not a nipple. And how it works. I think it's a nipple. I don't know.
Speaker: Oh, no, but like, uh, what was it? Gentlemen, boys, not gentlemen, boys, teenage boys today have it so nice. Oh my God. This is, this is our, I used to walk up the hill with all my brothers and sisters on my back. In the snow, both ways. Yeah. I was, I'm,
Speaker: It's kind of like being able to text and chat with people. I mean, back in the day, when we were in school, we used that to send Pony Express. We'd have to call somebody and now with video chat, I mean, goddamn, can you imagine? And our generation was the quote unquote loose generation. Speaking of our generation and calling people, and again, kids having it easy for us guys,
Speaker: You remember, like I know you remember this, the awkwardness of calling a girl you liked, calling her at home. Oh my God. And hoping her parents didn't answer the question.
Speaker: no or knowing they're gonna call knowing they're gonna call and you're standing by the phone wait for it ring and then it just ring like i got it i got it yeah oh my god now he just takes their phone okay 500 feet of cord dragging it around the house wrap and then you sit on the phone for hours wrapping it around your fingers
Speaker: You get off the phone, you got to walk around in circles for 20 minutes to get untangled. We didn't have a cordless phone at the house. Remember those cords that was all coiled up? And if it would get messed up, you'd sit there and stare at it and go, I got to fix it. Because it would be messed up. I didn't have that problem back then, like I do now, where I see something that's like, I have to fix that.
Speaker: That drives Jodie so crazy. Oh, no, it drives me nuts. I have to fix that. No, you don't. Yes, I do. Yes, I do. No, but you also remember, like, if you're in the back of the house and the phone rings, you got to run from one side of the house to the other, where now you can just pick up the phone. Yeah. Where you're like, I got it. Don't get it. I got it. Then you get there to go on the phone. It's for me. It's for me. Don't answer it. Or be having sisters.
Speaker: Knowing a boy was gonna call for him. Oh, yeah My sister used it my sister's boyfriend would call me like and he's like, hey this is this is Sarah's boyfriend I'm like so Bob
Speaker: He's like, no. Oh, yeah. I did that. I did that. Me Jim? And you just fuck with him? And my sister's like, what the fuck are you doing? I'm like, I'm checking. I've got that person, the boyfriend's been like, hey, you're not the boyfriend. You're Mark, right? You're not the boyfriend that we're doing last night. Who are you? You're not our boyfriend. Slobbering.
Speaker: One of my sister's boyfriends is still to this day scared of me because I chased him around the yard with an aluminum baseball bat because my sister and I got in an argument and you know when you're siblings you're allowed to put hands on your siblings and I pushed my sister because she had pushed me and he he dared to try to step in
Speaker: And I lost my temper. And I said, oh, oh, oh, oh. And I walked in my room and grabbed an aluminum baseball bat. I said, you want to step in? Let's step in. And I chased him around the yard until he got to his truck and drove off. Bob said, them yelling at us to get off the phone. He said, shit, we had party lines to deal with. What the fuck are you? You had Pony Express. You guys didn't help with one of them. Yeah, no shit. You didn't bend it when you were a kid. Stop lying. That's what I'm saying. When you rode your horse. Why the fuck are you lying? Hey, Pops, you know I'm the champ?
Speaker: No, but can you imagine going back to like, you know, early 90s with the technology we have now? I mean, I know some of the conversations I'd have with girls back in the day, those conversations would have been a lot cooler.
Speaker: because it wasn't wearing it. Like back then it was like, so what are you wearing? Now it's like, show me what you're wearing. Move your face away from the screen, baby. I don't, I don't, I don't, I've got familiar with that area of conversation. Oh no, but well, I dated this one chick. I know you used to ask him in person, what are you wearing? Look,
Speaker: But I'm blind. What the fuck are you talking about? I would go to like street fairs and stuff, and you meet chicks from other towns. And then, of course, you exchange numbers, and then you talk to them for like two weeks. And those conversations go for hours, and then you just be like, fuck it, it's too much to call. Well, like I remember my parents, I guess you could call it a timeshare. We would go camping.
Speaker: Right. And they had cabins where you could take your camper or you could go to the primitive site. Every summer, you always met like your. Your summer girl. Your summer girlfriend or or like my sister would be their summer boyfriend or whatever. Yeah. And you know, and then you might get lucky the next summer and they would be there camping again and you would get to see them again. Yeah. Like that was that was always, you know, it was one of those things that you look forward to. Yeah.
Speaker: Now a wrong long -distance relationship like that is so much easier to maintain Because you have snapchat. Yep. There's like 14 different ways to get a hold of somebody Plus video chat and all that stuff. It wasn't where back then we had the phone and that was it It was never anything more than just and I mean what I say a summer fling is totally different than what you're gonna say your summer fling was because You know, I was not on that the same
Speaker: level. I'm a different person compared to you. So, you know, I was like, Hey, are we going to do this or what? I had a, there was a, you know, a girl or
Speaker: couple of earlier, most we did was like kisses. Oh my God, I can't believe I kissed her. Her sister, her mom, her aunt came down to thank her mom too. My buddy and I would go to Cedar Point. His parents would take us up to Cedar Point and we'd go for, we'd go, you know, one or two days. And we'd meet chicks in line.
Speaker: And that was your girl for the day, man. You know, because his parents were like, okay, meet us back here at seven o 'clock. We're leaving. You're not there at seven. See you next year. And I remember like the place where we would go camping and stuff, they would do like dances or whatever and be at all nervous and scared. And it was like, I'm never going to see this shit after the end of this week. Well, see, that's the thing. But you were so inexperienced back then.
Speaker: You're 10, 11, 12 years old and you're so inexperienced with people in general. If we were hanging out, if we were that age and we hung out every fucking day at school and stuff,
Speaker: Saying something stupid is not a big deal. I mean, it'll get brought up in other conversations, but that's about it. But you fuck up in front of a summer crush. They're like, fuck you. I'm out. I was like, you know, you said you accidentally watched training porn for four hours and I still bring that up from time to time.
Speaker: Four hours, four minutes, tomato, tomato. Yeah. Yeah. Amazing tits, I'm just saying. No, but the point is like, you are always so nervous.
Speaker: Like, those first, you know, those first couple years of dating, you're just like... Well, yeah, you know, it wasn't even like, like, dating for real dating. Yeah, well, yeah, it's like, it's more like a hangout and maybe make out. Yeah, the summer, the summertime... Meanwhile, I'm in the back of the car going, yeah.
Speaker: Why? I need your phone real quick. What for? Because I'm trying to find that, what's the name of that app? I'm trying to find that training porn website you watched, dad. Let me tell you, boy. He wants to use my phone. Play fucking video games. Fucking PlayStation out there. Calm down.
Speaker: No, they do that while I'm at work. I'm on the phone. I don't know what Pops is talking about. I'm confused. Scott, I'm telling you, we could probably go blow for blow.
Speaker: on back in the day. Whoa, that sounded. Yeah, that sounded wrong. You boys had fun with that. Where I leave. I'm going to pull out Tony, I'm going to bed, good night. Goodbye, Tony. Goodbye, Tony. I said bye, good bye. We all have that. We all have that. I didn't talk to her a moment. Now, now I have four hours of trading porn. Going for a bowl with my pops.
Speaker: No, but, but what I'm saying is like, back in the day, we all have that, I should have talked to that girl. Oh, yeah. Well, girls have that too. Oh, I should have talked to them. Oh, I wish I would have said hi, you know. Yeah. And the whole time, I mean, you're, you're there for 12 hours and the whole time you're like, if I go now, I got another six hours. What if she tells me to fuck off, you know? Man, I wasn't, I mean, I'm still a fat kid, but I was naked back then. No, but I mean,
Speaker: uh i was never the good good -looking guy but it's called low -hanging fruit for reach tonight i'm just saying i've rode my share of elephants chris you're not the only one
Speaker: Oh my god. You know it's one of those things. We all make mistakes in life Jeffrey. No but it's one of those things is like if you go back in time reliving those days you don't know how good you had because now everything is so trivial.
Speaker: Like thinking, thinking of like the, the biggest problem you had today versus the biggest problem you had back then both ends of the spectrum. Now these days, I don't have many problems.
Speaker: I was like, no, I'm like, I haven't had a problem. Let me get my line out of here. No, but I have a conversation like Homelander and A -Train had. I'm Homelander. You're fat ass. Oh, my God. You fat fucking piece of shit. Get off my stage.
Speaker: He says I can see your fucking girdle He's got like a negative 6 % body fat Like what what he says 36 ,000 calories a day he's like I saw you I don't I don't
Speaker: I don't know what it is about A -Train, but I want to punch him in the face. I like A -Train. He's such a dick. He's an ass, but he's a likable dick. Yeah. Season three is more likable. But season one, like when he's apologizing to Huey, goddamn. Him is fucking deep. He's my first man. Come talk to your fucking face. I'm like, goddamn. Dude, did you get to the deep eatin' with buddy?
Speaker: I think it's episode three of season three. I think I'm there right now. I haven't got to that point yet, but it's, it's during the luncheon. No, I don't know. There's a luncheon with Homelander deep, deep's wife and, uh, that Reddit and chick that's now the CEO. Holy shit. You really see how Homelander is such a douche. He's a douche from jump street, but, uh, it is funny to think back now, like,
Speaker: Of course, not a whole lot has changed for me other than I'm 40 and not 12 anymore. I'm still just a big awkward oaf.
Speaker: I think I've changed either, except for the fact that I'm married now, so I don't worry about talking to people. I mean, I don't hit on chicks anymore, so I don't have to worry about it. That bathroom that you're in right now. Hey, and there's a reason why. It was like I went to the store today, I had to pick up, we had to go to the drinker house.
Speaker: No, but we had nothing to drink at the house, and I went to the store, and one of my wife's friends saw me. She's like, hey, how you doing? I was like, hey. It took me like 10 minutes to remember her name. I was like, hey, man, how you doing? I am so bad with names. I literally run into people, and they're like, hey, Jeff, how you doing? How's this? And I'm like, hey. The guy who sold me my car, the guy who sold me the new car yesterday, I forgot his name like six times. Thank God he had a name badge.
Speaker: I'm staring at their name on my sheet. I was with this guy for like five hours yesterday, four or five hours. By the end of the first hour, he was already calling me Glick.
Speaker: Turn around motherfucker. I took my car. I took it out for a test drive and I came back and the guy was like, come back from test drive. And I'm like, yeah, I'm, I'm with a bad guy. He was like, Oh, John, I said, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. John, whatever. Bad guy. I don't, I'm so bad with names. Well, fucking one of the owners of the stores told me his name today. And 10 minutes later I was like, Hey,
Speaker: One of the guys that was working there, one of the kids that were working there, I was like, Hey, what's your name? I was like, Hey, what's his name? And he was like, he just told you. I was like, fuck up and tell me what his name is. I didn't write it down. That's not part of my job. What's his name? Bob Billy.
Speaker: I was so close right here. I almost had it with Billy. I was right there. Tommy, Billy. Hey, Tommy. I'm a roosky. Hey, Tommy. You forgot your name? Nobody's like.
Speaker: Our company that I work for, we're constantly adding new people. And I'm sitting here going, what's the new guy's name? What's the new guy? Yeah, him. Yeah. He sent me three or four clients. What's his name again? It's just all day long. I do it with my contractors all the time. I can literally look at a name, call the person, say their name. Hey, Bob, how you doing? I've already forgotten his name.
Speaker: I've said the day, I've forgotten it. I had one of my contractors call me out the other day.
Speaker: He called me on the boat and he was like, hey, it's so -and -so. I was like, hey, what's going on, man? He got there 15 minutes later, and I was like, hey, what's going on, bubba? He was like, you forgot my name. Yeah. Y 'all motherfuckers need name tags. He was just like, thanks, click. I see how important. I'm like, yeah, I mean, he was a lot of content.
Speaker: I have 250 clients a week. I'm not gonna remember everybody's name and what I Have one guy calls me every couple days and I have to ask him. Okay, which company my look up. He's like Same one it was yesterday But I do apologize, but you know, I'm the champ
Speaker: I'm gonna start telling them that. Every time my phone rings, hey, by the way, I'm the champ. No, no, you're not the champ. I'm the champ. You can tell them that I'm the champ. I'll go ahead. Did you know it glicks the champ? They're like, I'm the champ. How can I help you today?
Speaker: I had a guy call me last night. I literally went upstairs to sit in the air conditioning and watch the boys. And if my phone rang and Kevin's like, Dan, your phone's ringing. I was like, hello, this is Jeff. How can I help you with it? And he's like, hey, this is so and so. And two seconds later, I was like, yeah. I've already shut down for the day. Can you call tomorrow? He's like, yeah, OK. He called me this morning. And I forgot he called last night. See, you guys make fun of me.
Speaker: for saying things like, Hey, bub. Hey, bubba. Hey, buddy. You know, pal, you know, you guys make fun of that because I do it all day long. I've been going to my barber for sorry if you're listening, Randy. I know your name now for three fucking neighbors. One of my neighbors. I see this dude every day. Don't know his name. No. I've been going to my barber for three years and it took me a year and a half to remember what the hell his name was.
Speaker: I see this dude every day. He's always out either washing his car or working on his car. And every day I walk by to go to the store to get something to drink. And I'm like, Hey, how you doing? And I don't know his first name, don't know his last name. I know where he lives, but I don't know. He knows my name. Yeah. I was going to say, speaking to the barber, but you don't go through this. So I get, I get the sides completely shaved down to the skin. Right.
Speaker: And just recently, just in the last few times I've been going, you know, like I said, I think he's working his way up to sneak in the straight razor. No, I get a straight razor on the sides. He does a straight razor on the back of my neck and everything like that. Cause you can't see it coming. Well, what he, well, he started using like a razor, like a razor blade, like, you know, yeah, he uses it on the, on the sides and stuff. But you know, when he, after he's done, he, he puts the hot towel on it. Right. Like I'm in, in like,
Speaker: like kind of massages it in and washes any wipes, any leftover stuff. Every time. I know it's coming. Every time. He gets into the towel. No, no, he doesn't hit me in the towel. Because like I said, I get the size of that. So he gets, he just puts it up against there.
Speaker: pushes that kind of presses it on, but it always gets me. I'm like, I know it's coming. I can hear him running the water. And then as soon as that hot, because it's hot, it like touches my skin. I'm like. Well, they don't use towels at my barber. They use a steam machine that literally blows steam on your bed.
Speaker: because they do when I get shamed. So your marker blows your head, huh? Yeah, he blows me. It's kind of cool. Nice. But literally. Your elbow barber, does that cost extra? No, it's actually included. All right. But it's almost like a, it looks like a shower head that's flashing. Yeah, I know. And it shoots out steam. And like every once in a while, I have to move my head so I can get regular air because holy shit. It's just like, fuck. It's like breathing in.
Speaker: It's like sitting in a sauna. The first time he did it, I was like, I missed the towel. It feels great. It just always shocks me every time. It's like a shock to the system. Because usually, I love getting my hair cut anyways. It's so relaxing. I think this weekend, I'm going to take Kevin and I up and we'll get our hair cut.
Speaker: I was going to do it today, but we had the show, so I was like, I guess I won't. Maybe not since when we came in for a haircut. Yeah, I got to get Kevin over there. I got to get Kevin over there. We're going to probably go tomorrow or Sunday. I think I got to get approval on what his haircut's going to be. My wife will send me pictures and say, this is how I want Kevin's haircut. I'm like, you're not going to see it.
Speaker: While Chris is frying chicken, I'm phantom. Holy shit. Took too much of a drag. I took too much of a drag. That's what I figured. But yeah, I'm going to go probably over tomorrow or Sunday, get my hair cut, get a shave. Cleaned up.
Speaker: Do you you don't cut around your mouth like down here? I actually have the sides I have like a like right here. I have cut out Yeah, and I keep my mustache and I keep my mustache Yeah The tremors on the mustache freaks me out every time it's just like I
Speaker: No, no, it's not a freak out. It tickles. It's like a tickle. And you're just like, I'm going to fucking sneeze and lose half my mustache any second. Are you going to sneeze or are you coming? What the hell is going on right now? No, it's because like the vibration.
Speaker: It's kind of a weird, kind of a cool feeling, but it's also kind of like a... Your barber stuff said, you okay? Did you have a shower? Did you need a towel? Clean yourself up, you dirty whore. The difference is my barber is I can't really talk to him because my Spanish isn't good enough.
Speaker: So it's we sit there in silence all the time. We chitchat and stuff like that, but there's also a lot of silence just because I'm just I'm so zoned out, man. I'm just I literally just take old pictures of me with my haircut go this. Okay.
Speaker: I don't have to say anything. I walk in and as soon as I walk in, if he's, you know, he's usually going there and they're pretty busy for the most part. So usually I'll walk in and what's up? Oh, Hey, what's going on? Grab a seat, hang out. And it's, it's a small place. So, you know, everybody's in there. We all kind of conversate back and forth. Right. But, uh, and then, you know, he's like, are you ready? And I just go sit down. He already knows what to do.
Speaker: I mean, like I said, he's been, he's been my guy since I moved into this apartment. The first haircut I went, well, I just started going. I've been there twice, but I don't, I, I literally would get my haircut. I won't go do it unless I, unless I shocked you plus a year, year and a half or so ago when I told him to cut it all off and give me a fade and he was like, what?
Speaker: He's like, are you sure? Because once it's gone, once it's gone, it's gone. Don't come back. My hair was down to my, I did the same haircut I have now, but it was down to my shoulders. And he's like, are you sure? I'm like, yeah, yeah. It's time persuasion. A persuasion of somebody that wasn't my choice. But, uh, I know when I went, when I, I let it grow out. So when I went back and I was like, we're bringing it back. He was like, hell yes. So yeah, now I just go in there and
Speaker: When he, when he, when it's my turn, he's like, come on. I go in there, sit down. And he already knows what to do. So I don't, you know, he cleans my beard all up, gets my eyebrows, gets my mustache, cuts my hair. I see. I don't do nothing with my eyebrows. I don't do shit with my eyebrows. I have to. I have a giant caterpillar on my forehead. I was going to say, you're like Eugene Levy. Just my eyebrows are like super thin. I'm like, you remember the Geico caveman commercials?
Speaker: You know they made that a TV show. It was a TV show called Cavemen. It was a spin off of those Geico commercials. It's not that bad, but it is. It is. My unibrow is pretty bright and my eyebrows get get pretty bushy, if you will. No, my biggest one is like I get a decent haircut for me. I have this massive fucking widow speak, so.
Speaker: No, it's a widow's beak I've had it since birth It's receding hairline Fucking hair is tired of your fucking face. So it's running away. Oh, I I've By the way, I'm I'm no longer going gray I'm growing chrome I Said one of these moments
Speaker: I have moments in our friendship. There's no longer no gray. It's chrome. Just be gray. Just embrace it. Nope. It's chrome. It's chrome like on a cool Mustang, classic car, or on a Harley. Just, it's chrome. No. No, because it's chrome on a 78 Dotson that's half rusted out.
Speaker: This is true. Oh, I found a TikTok and I sent it to my wife. Don't worry about you that says sports car. And that's no disrespect because there's nothing about me that says sports car either. They put chrome on front of fucking pickup trucks. I'm basically. Yeah, I'm an old pickup truck sitting in the middle of a field. It's not chrome. It's great. When they say it, what they say in the movie, Christine, he's like,
Speaker: He's like, he works so crookedly. New windshield wipers. Cracked windshield. I'm like, that's me. But I found a TikTok and I said it to my wife and I said, I'm just saying. It's literally what I said to her. And it says, if your wife is mad at you, go buy a motorcycle because then she'll still be mad at you, but then you'll have a motorcycle. I was like, I'm just saying.
Speaker: And she's like, no, I was like, I said, I'm not going to buy a motorcycle, but I'll buy a cool car.
Speaker: You'll still be mad, but I'll have a cool car. No surprise at this point that she moved to Europe. She's like, what is the farthest distance I can get away from here? She spun a globe and stopped it with her fingers. That works. Not far enough. Spin again.
Speaker: Give me a mulligan, would you? I'm going to have so much fun with that. I'm so tired. Give your wife your name in. Give your wife your name in already. She will now. I didn't move to Europe. Why does he keep saying that? That's exactly what she'll say today. I didn't move to Europe. You know that, right? No, calm down. I know. I'm not stupid. I'm not quick. I'm not filming. I know. OK.
Speaker: I could agree with that but we both be wrong. I'm trying to remember what the fuck I thought of last night. It was like an amazing topic and I cannot for the life of me and I was like oh no this is such an amazing topic I won't forget and of course I woke up this morning and I went
Speaker: What the fuck was that topic? I've been trying to think about it all day. Like I said, when I die, somebody's going to go through my stuff and see the scribbles of podcast notes and go, wow. I'm so glad they didn't talk about that. No, they're going to be like, what in the hell is wrong with this guy? What is he? He was crying. You should have never been left alone. You should never have been left alone. Maybe we should burn the corpse.
Speaker: He lived alone by himself for how long? Wow. Because I short hand everything. So it's just like, like, like random shit like, like, not that this is that crazy, but goldfish. I smell, goldfish. I smell toast. That's all it is. And it's like the same sentence. So it's really good.
Speaker: So he's writing something that has struck. Pretty much. He's writing something and a line just goes across the paper. You ever seen Monty Python's The Life of Brian, I think it is, or The Meaning of Life? They're reading a Sanskrit on the wall and he says, this guy is coming and he's going to stab me. He's like,
Speaker: wait it actually says i what did you just say uh i think chris is uh internet just took a shit i'm on okay
Speaker: this guy's gonna stab me ah he stabbed me he's like wouldn't he just say ah no he wrote it i thought you were gonna get an apartment pause yeah he just wrote it well he said it cracks me up i love movies have you ever seen uh my python the search for the holy trail
Speaker: Long time ago. Oh my god. The killer beast. It's a beast. It's a little fucking rabbit. With as much hell as I got from Maximum Overdrive, I will keep my opinion of Monty Python to myself.
Speaker: Yeah, I know because you'll get killed saying bad shit about that people. They're funny. I mean, they're funny. Don't get me wrong, but they were funnier when I was younger now. I watched him like, yeah, that's just not, you know, Monty. I'm sorry. Monty Python to me is not the end all be all of comedy movies. You know, no, no, I prefer Mel Brooks. I do like Mel Brooks.
Speaker: Oh my god. He's not worth his baseballs, didn't he? Yeah. Yeah. I love the fucking movie. Bigger than mine. I see your swats is as big as mine. Oh, fucking god. Lone Star, before we fight, I must tell you, I'm your father's brother's nephew's uncle's former roommate. So what does that make us? Absolutely nothing.
Speaker: Rick Moranis does not get enough love. Rick Moranis is a... He's a national treasure. You can't say that because he's Canadian. That's okay. We'll accept him. Yeah, I will accept him. No, no, no, no. As part of the treaty, when I declared war on Canada, part of the treaty was we got Ryan Reynolds and Rick Moranis.
Speaker: They're no longer Canadian. Can we have Michael J. Fox too? Because that guy's a fucking national driver. Well, that was just a given. That was an unspoken. Do we still want him now? I mean, he's like a, he's like a shake and bake commercial on his own. Hey, he's on that show, The Good Wife, that I'm watching that, that log.
Speaker: He's been on a couple of episodes. He holds his own still. I know Rick Moranis is held in pretty high regards in Hollywood. I just don't think he got the credit he truly does. No, I don't think so either. Because he was amazing in Ghostbusters. And one of my favorite movies, and you can judge me if you will. I was actually watching it a couple of weeks ago as I was cleaning and doing stuff around the apartment singing every song word for word.
Speaker: as loud as I possibly can. Little Shop of Horrors. Yes. Fuck yes. Love that goddamn movie. Feed me Seymour. Oh my God. Suddenly Seymour. Oh my God. God. That was so good. And what's his face? Why am I drawing a blank?
Speaker: Martin as the dude Steve Martin as the dentist. Oh my god with his nitrous oxide. Holy shit Steve Steve Martin Can we talk about Steve Martin for a minute that guy? Well, we have you ever seen the movie parenthood? Holy shit, he knocked that goddamn movie out the fucking park
Speaker: When I was a kid watching it, I was like, eh. But as an adult watching it, I'm like, yeah, I get it. Speaking of Steve Martin and being younger, we are a fortunate age group. Yes. Because we grew up with some of the best comedians. John Candy. John Candy, Steve Martin, Chevy Chase, you know. Martin Short. Yeah, Martin Short.
Speaker: Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, Gene Wilder. And then not stand up wise, I'm talking movie wise. We got that. Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder, in anything they're in together, I'm in. I fucking love all their movies. They're movie here, no evil, see no evil, stir crazy.
Speaker: when they go to jail? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's supposed to start crazy. Jodie and I watched that a few weeks back when she was up here. And God, I hadn't seen that movie in so long. And I was laughing. I was laughing my ass off. She's like, have you never seen them? I'm like, yeah, I've seen it. It's been so long. And it's so. I think I've watched Here No Evil, See No Evil like 50 times. The early 90s Saturday Night Live cast, Adam Sandler, Chris Farley, Norm McDonald.
Speaker: I still maintain that we never saw all the amazing acting chops that Chris Farley had.
Speaker: Oh my god, he's genius in that. He was like a playboy. David Spade movies are hit and miss. They either knock it out the fucking park, or they're the worst blunts in the world. It's like the guy from The Hot Chick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What the hell was his name? Rob Schneider. Yeah, Rob Schneider. His movies are like that. Have you seen Big Stan?
Speaker: Oh my god, that movie cracks me up. He's like, you made that, you made that little two person eraser. I made this out of two bars of soap in the shoelaces. That's the star you psycho. That fight scene in the prison yard.
Speaker: He's like, you'll get these back. Even Mike Myers, his movies are, we're kind of hitting missy. I mean, he struck gold when he did Austin Powers. Yeah. I mean, um, speaking of David Spade, he did a movie recently. It's called the wrong missy. That movie was so goddamn funny.
Speaker: My god, yeah, that was just a couple years ago that movie was oh my god But he also did that that movie is like like where my dad can beat up your dad Yeah, oh Man that wrong missy. Holy crap. That movie is so fucking funny
Speaker: There is another movie I just recently watched I
Speaker: I can't remember what it's called. It'll hit me later. But oh my god. It's about a chick that goes... Yeah, like, mid -time. Like three o 'clock in the morning. No, because this chick goes to... She goes down to Mexico to try to get her boyfriend back. Or she lied to her boyfriend. And he gets hospitalized while he's in Mexico at a resort. And she's trying to sneak into this resort to steal his laptop to delete the email she sent. And...
Speaker: Her friend, her friend takes her on like a catamaran to go swim with dolphins. And this dolphin jumps and smacks her face with his dick. You totally don't see it coming! It wouldn't happen if you lose it!
Speaker: Well, it's a total mother's milk and stretch armstrong thing. She's just like, whoa, didn't see that coming. And with that being said, that seems like a good point to end the show. Yes. Oh, my God. A dolphin did.
Speaker: I'll figure out what the name of the movie is. I'll Snapchat it to you. Holy shit, you gotta see it. It's funny. It's not great, but it's got some funny parts. Yeah, exactly. Oh my God. Well, that was like that goddamn Vacation Friends movie which John Cena had me - Holy shit! That movie had me fucking rolling.
Speaker: Oh my God, when they show up, so the bricks, they go through the fence. That's what I keep telling you. You've got to watch Peacemaker. Peacemaker is kind of along the same lines of the boys. Once I finish the boys, I'm going to watch. It's along the same lines of the boys. I'm going to have to watch. Yeah. And John Cena, absolutely. You know, people shit on John Cena as, like, say he's like copying The Rock.
Speaker: Dude, you see that vacation, friends? Holy shit. Yeah, no, exactly. Jesus. But now, like I said, we're going to go ahead and wrap this show up. That bird's going to shit. Like I said, we're going to wrap this show up. We do appreciate y 'all listening. We appreciate y 'all hanging out. We'll be back Monday night with a brand new episode. So come hang out. You can check us out on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok.
Speaker: You can also join us live on YouTube and Twitch every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday night. And if you don't want to listen to us live, don't worry. We got you covered there. You can listen to us on Spotify and everywhere you listen to podcasts. If you have an email, if you want to reach out to us at nonsense school, nonsense podcast at gmail .com and a merch store, teespring .com slash nonsense school, nonsense podcast. Check out the merch.
Speaker: Give us a like, give us a follow, give us a share if you guys would be so kind, help us grow. That's the name of the game. And if you guys didn't know already, I'm the champ. So you're welcome. You are in the presence of greatness. I give you guys, I allow you to be in my presence, Jeff. I changed my name a long time ago to the champ. I saw that.
Speaker: But I just remembered I could add banners. But we're gonna wrap the show up the only way we know how with our guys in Blacktop Mojo. Check them out wherever you stream music and on all social media at Blacktop Mojo. Go check out their social media and see where they're at. They might be coming to a town near you. Their new tour just kicked off. They were live the other day. Yeah, their tour just kicked off. They are actually coming to a town near me in a couple months and I will be there. Be jealous.
Speaker: He'll be real jealous when I'm hanging out with him. On the bus. As they run you over, as they drag you behind it. You need to get a Snapchat, Jeff. Blacktop Mojo just kidnapped me. They just kicked me off the bus and ran me over with it. Because I kept saying, you guys are so fucking awesome. I got to compose myself. But we're out of here. Enjoy a little Blacktop Mojo.
Speaker: She dances naked through the trees until they're all golden She waits for space into the wind and she commutes with the dance
Speaker: You ate the blade off of her head As I began to breathe, she said Oh, muggle in the sky Take this back with bite I wanna live forever No, spirit in the earth Give me a new birth, make me a girl
Speaker: Her eyes look gone and she starts to feast There was a smile on her face as she walked right to leave It's a last to back her head as blood ran down
Speaker: Sir, can I help you? Do you have any weapons of any kind? Anything to defend yourself? Sir, this is a speedy mark. We have hot dogs too for a dollar. I just put them on the roller yesterday. They're pretty good. No, man. Like, something sharp. Something, like, I can stab to defend myself with. I've got some sharp cheddar combos over there. It's kind of like a Ritz cracker pregnant with a cheese baby.
Speaker: All right. Well, let me just take one of these lighters and I'm going to borrow your bug spray and can I borrow your bathroom key as well? Uh, yeah. Bathroom key. All right. I got your bathroom key right there. Make sure you bring that back and that'll be 1362 and I'm going to have to have exact same. So we're in a coin shortage at the moment.
Speaker: Whatever, man. Okay. Just that. Just that. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Speaker: Oh shit, Chuck! Oh shit, I'm the champ! Oh shit, Chuck!
Speaker: Take this sacrifice, I want to live forever And now, spirit in the earth, give me another, make me a god like me
Speaker: the greatest podcast show closure of all time. Our boys, Blacktop Mojo, killing it. I just noticed that the teller at the store is not wearing a t -shirt. You just now noticed that? I just noticed it. I don't stare at the guy. I quote his line every episode. I just realized, I was like, that dude's not wearing a t -shirt.
Speaker: That whole quickie march situation is a crazy thing going on. There's all kinds of stuff going on there. Was that you that commented today? Yeah, that was me. Okay. Okay. But we do appreciate y 'all listening. We appreciate y 'all hanging out. We'll be back Monday night with a brand new episode. Like I said, same nonsensical time, same nonsensical channel. Come hang out with us, Jeffrey.
Speaker: Why do you smell toast? I have one word. You can smell toast. Deuces! In the words, I'm going to try to quote this as best I can. In the words of the one and only pretend champion. I'm sorry. He's not a pretend champion. He's a coach champion. He's not the champ like me, but he's a coach champion. He said it earlier, but I'm going to say it again. Mother had you.
Speaker: mother major mother fuck you you gotta give that 20 fuck you fuck you and with that being said oh hell yeah goodbye mother fuckles i don't know what to do next i don't know what to do next
