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BONUS: Grace with Amy Ford
258 Plays4 years ago
Join Amy Ford from Embrace Grace as we talk about supporting moms through unplanned pregnancies, changing the shame culture surrounding these pregnancies, and walking with women as they embrace God’s grace
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Transcript
Introduction to Verity Podcast & Christian Faith
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome to Verity. I'm your host, Felicia Masonheimer, an author, speaker, and Bible teacher. This podcast will help you embrace the history and depth of the Christian faith, ask questions, seek answers, and devote yourself to becoming a disciple of Jesus Christ. You don't have to settle for watered down Christian teaching. And if you're ready to go deeper, God is just as ready to take you there. This is Verity, where every woman is a theologian.
Introducing Embrace Grace with Amy Ford
00:00:30
Speaker
Okay guys, Felicia Masonheimer here. We're going to be interviewing Amy Ford from EmbraceGrace. Thank you for having me on. Yes, of course. So I know a lot of my audience are excited to meet you and to hear your story and
00:00:48
Speaker
just to talk with you tonight. And so I know that Embrace Grace is probably new to many of them. And I would just love for them to start out hearing a little bit about you, your story, and what inspired Embrace Grace. And then maybe we'll move into more of the specific questions based on
00:01:09
Speaker
Based on all of that and your experience. So would you tell us who you are and what you're so passionate about? Yeah, for
Amy's Story: From Unplanned Pregnancy to Ministry
00:01:16
Speaker
sure. Okay. So my name is Amy Ford and I lead a ministry called Embrace Grace. And the reason why I started it is tied to my story.
00:01:24
Speaker
But I had an unplanned pregnancy when I was 19. I was super scared. I grew up in a great Christian home, but I didn't really have a relationship with the Lord. A new abortion wasn't something that I ever wanted to do in my life, but in that moment, I was terrified. Fear makes you do crazy things. I was so scared. I was scared to tell my parents. I was scared that my friends would leave. I was scared my life was over. Me and the father of the baby, we kind of felt both the same way.
00:01:53
Speaker
We went to the abortion clinic, we paid for it. We just thought, you know, this is like a quick fix and, you know, we'll deal with the consequences of a broken heart later. And when I had really like stuffed down all my feelings and emotions. And so whenever in that room, when they were kind of describing how they do everything, every, like, I just, I hyperventilated and passed out in the abortion room.
00:02:19
Speaker
And when I came to the nurses were fainting me trying to get me a drink of water and they said, the nurse said, you're too emotionally distraught to make this decision today. You can come back another day, but today you're not having an abortion. And so.
00:02:33
Speaker
I went back out in the waiting room and I called my baby daddy. We're actually married now. We've been married for 22 years, but my baby daddy, he was out there and he could see my face was swollen. I had been crying a lot and we just kind of looked at each other and we're like, okay, like we're going to have to figure this out together. And if we're going to be homeless, you know, all the things that we thought it was going to be, we're just going to figure it out. So we told our parents it wasn't as bad as we thought. And they definitely were disappointed in the timing, but the enemy lies to you in those situations.
00:03:02
Speaker
Makes it way worse than it was. And we had been together for about 4 years. We knew we wanted to get married someday. And so we just went ahead and decided, let's go ahead and get married. And we. We got married when I was 16 weeks pregnant and we had asked the man that had led my husband to the Lord years before.
00:03:21
Speaker
a man that Ryan looked up to so much and loved so much. We asked him if he would marry us and he said, no, I'm sorry. I won't marry you because you've sinned and I can't bless this marriage. And we were just like, Oh my gosh, we're such horrible people. We can't even, you know, get, be blessed and, you know, get married and have fine favor in the eyes of God, you know, with this marriage. And, um, we found someone else that would marry us, but it was, it was a beautiful wedding, but it definitely felt like a scarlet letter, like a, uh,
00:03:48
Speaker
Um, it just felt so much shame during that. And we try to go back to church, but it's like the elephant in the room. People don't know whether to say congratulations or I'm sorry. And they just don't see anything and you feel alone in a crowd of people. And that is the way I felt. And you know, I'm a super extrovert. I have a lot of friends, so it's kind of obvious when all of my friends kind of are distant and seeing themselves. And so we kind of just didn't like the way it felt when we went. So we stopped going for a long time and.
00:04:16
Speaker
But one thing that's cool is that pastor that wouldn't marry us that my husband loves so much. He called my husband two years later out of the blue and he asked for forgiveness. He said that he felt like it was his worst mistake and pastoring history he had ever made. And will my husband forgive him? And my husband was like, yes, of course, you know, I forgive you. And they still to this day are such great friends and he lives about four hours away, but they talk all the time and are so close and he's so close to our family. He's amazing.
Impact of Choices: Amy's Son, Jess
00:04:43
Speaker
And.
00:04:43
Speaker
We ended up having a son, Jess, and he is awesome. He's actually 22 and he just graduated from Oral Roberts University and he majored in theology. He's getting his master's now and he has a heart for the Lord and he's just awesome. He just got married in July and I'm just so proud of him and it's just crazy to think that it was so close that he wouldn't be here.
00:05:07
Speaker
And one thing that's cool, though, is that when he turned 16, that pastor that went to marry us, he asked us to come to his church. We're in the Dallas, Fort Worth area, but he's in Austin. So he asked us to go and he had, and speak about embrace, grace, pearl of all the things. And so he was very open with this congregation before I had got there. He said, he told them what he had done years before. He said he had a religious spirit, a Pharisee heart.
00:05:33
Speaker
And this is what I did, you know, all these years ago, but now there's Embrace Grace and all that. So I came, I spoke, I did my thing. But afterwards he asked me to come back on the platform and he asked my son Jess, my 16 year old, to come on the platform. And he was like, Amy, years ago I asked your husband for forgiveness, but I never really asked you, will you forgive me for what I did years ago? And I was like, yes, of course, like I forgave you a long time ago.
00:05:58
Speaker
Don't even really think about it much anymore. Like, yes. But then he looked at my son, 16, in front of the whole church. And he said, Jess, will you forgive me for planting seeds of rejection in your heart before you were ever even born? And while you were in your mother's womb, I rejected you. Will you forgive me?
00:06:17
Speaker
And my son, 16, in front of the whole church says, I forgive you. And it was such a powerful moment in that room. Like you could feel church wounds being lifted. Like it was just like the fact that the pastor would humble himself in that way was just so beautiful and amazing and even really healing for Jess because he, we told him his story when he was 13, because that was when my first book came out and I was going to be on, you know, David Robinson, folks in the family, all these different things. And so,
00:06:47
Speaker
I knew he, I had to tell him. So we took him to the cheesecake factory. I have four kids now. And so it's, it's weird when you take only one kid, like something was up. And so we went to cheesecake factory and I had all my friends praying because I was so scared that he was going to take it as rejection.
00:07:05
Speaker
I'm like, we were dumb kids. We didn't know, God knew what we needed and we just didn't know. It was just fear and all that. So we told him everything and he's a typical 13 year old boy. We're like, how does this make you feel? Do you know we love you and all this? And he just was kind of like, he didn't really give us much to go on. But I found out later that really over the next six months, he really struggled with his
00:07:30
Speaker
identity the enemy was lying to him like you weren't you weren't ever even supposed to be here and no one wanted you and all this stuff even though he knew without a shadow of a doubt that we love him so much it still was just these thoughts you know that the enemy was trying to lie to him about him so he kind of struggled and one day the youth group asked him if he would speak five minutes on how he's an overcomer he could talk about whatever he wants for five minutes and
00:07:55
Speaker
What has he overcome in his life? And he was like praying and thinking about it. And he came into my room one night. He's like, mom, I think I got it. And let me know what you think. And he said that I feel like the Lord was talking to me, you know, with this. And he said, I was an overcomer before I was ever even born.
00:08:11
Speaker
And that Satan had a plan to take me out, but I'm here and I'm going to use my life to change the world. And I was like, boom, that is amazing. And, you know, one word from God can do more than what years of counseling can do. You know, that moment there was a lot of healing and then even more so.
00:08:28
Speaker
When he turned 16 with the pastor, you know, and all of that. And now he actually even works in the pro-life movement right now, which is really cool. He's a writer. He writes for a focus on the family and some other in their pro-life division. And he writes copy and social media for pregnancy centers and things like that. Like he's just passionate and amazing. And
The Church's Role in Making Abortion Unthinkable
00:08:48
Speaker
so.
00:08:48
Speaker
Going through all of that, it really has helped me realize the power that the church has in this area. I grew up in church my whole life and it was never even a thought that crossed my mind when I found out I was pregnant. Maybe I should go to the church and ask them for help, wisdom, prayer, guidance, whatever. It was the last place I ever thought to go to in that situation.
00:09:12
Speaker
If the church was different, if the church could, you know, we're so a lot of times known more for what we're against than what we're for. And we want to be known more for our love. And so.
00:09:26
Speaker
You know, if I had just thought, you know, that why would I need to go to abortion clinic when there's so many great resources out there things, it would have looked a little different. And so that is really why we started embrace grace. And I know one time I was talking to this girl, she's a pro life atheist out in San Francisco. She's a friend of mine. And she asked me to speak at Berkeley and she was gonna have pro life speakers all day. And I was like, I.
00:09:49
Speaker
I will, I'm sure, you know, I'll talk, but you know, I talk about God and I'm talking about the church and like, is that going to be an issue for you? Because you're an atheist. And she's like, yeah, I don't believe in your God, but I believe in the power of your people. And if you could get your people to actually do something, this issue wouldn't be an issue anymore. I was like, wow. Like that is so true. There's over 300,000 churches in America. Like if we all were doing something, we could make abortion unthinkable.
00:10:14
Speaker
It's good to vote, you know, for life and in doing, but like, if we, if we can make abortion unthinkable, it would make an even bigger impact just because
00:10:23
Speaker
You know, if a girl finds out she's pregnant and she doesn't want to be and she doesn't have access to an abortion and then she goes to the church and the church is like, good luck. Hope it works out for you. We don't have a place for you here. And there's, you know, that we can't just, we can't do that. We can't just send them on their way. Like we have to be able to help physically, practically and emotionally and empower them to want to.
00:10:46
Speaker
Have their baby whether they place for adoption or parent like what is that? empower her in that and to make it unthinkable like why would I need to there's so many great resources out there that can help me and I know I won't be alone and that the church will walk alongside me and help get me back on my feet and so That is what embrace races. We have support groups in churches all over the nation for these girls. So I
00:11:10
Speaker
sometimes it's word of mouth sometimes it is through pregnancy centers they refer their clients to the churches for more support but they get community they get these small groups they find community they are disciples they are loved on they get baby showers tons of free stuff the church all comes together and buys her all kinds of stuff and then they have a princess day at the end of the semester and it's all about her identity and her value and her worth
00:11:35
Speaker
if I could put it down into one thing, identity seems to be the biggest issue with all of these moms. Just not knowing why they're here and how important and priceless they are and that they were created and their baby was created and all of that. So that's what we want to drill into their hearts and just really empower them. That's what I feel like feminism is. Feminism isn't
00:11:58
Speaker
you know, you're gonna have to drop out of school and you'd have this baby and you're gonna have to, that's the anti-feminism. Feminism is, you can have your baby in your dreams too. Yes, it might be hard, it might take a little longer, but you are strong, you are a woman and with God, you can do all things, you know, and He can help you along the way. And that is what true feminism is, is empowering women, not disempowering women. Wow, that is just,
00:12:27
Speaker
I'm starting to cry at one point, and wanting to cheer at another point is just so powerful, Amy. Thank you so much for sharing your story. So you made me think of, as you were talking, you made me think of something. When you talked about coming alongside them, making abortion unthinkable, I know that
00:12:46
Speaker
especially right now in the political climate, a lot of what's being said is revolving around the abortion as a voting issue, like you said, like a political issue and who you're voting for, et cetera, engaging on the federal level, if you will. But a lot of us are in actual, you know, real life communities with these young women. And so I guess my question is then,
00:13:16
Speaker
Well, first, how does this pro-life movement extend beyond just the decision to have the baby?
Discovering the Pro-Life Movement
00:13:22
Speaker
Because I know this is something that I'm hearing from a lot of more progressive sides is that the evangelical community is pretty much just about having the baby and like nothing else. That's all we hear about. So how does being pro-life extend beyond that?
00:13:39
Speaker
Well, I don't blame them for saying that because I actually had no idea that there was a pro-life movement. Like I grew up in church my entire life and had no idea that there was a pro-life movement. If someone said those words pro-life movement, I thought I would think, okay, that's probably picketers, you know, outside of worship clinics because that's all the media likes to show, you know? And so that's what I would naturally think. And I remember,
00:14:07
Speaker
You know, and even when we start Embrace Grace, we never thought we're starting a pro-life organization because I just didn't even know that was a thing. Like I thought I want to start an organization that helps women with end-life pregnancies. And when my first book came out, I was invited to speak at this conference and it was a pro-life conference. And now looking back, like I can't believe that I had never heard of them, but I had never heard of them and got there thousands of people.
00:14:30
Speaker
were there and there were hundreds of vendors and the vendors were pro-life organizations that were boots on the ground like really doing the hard work in the movement of helping these women along the way and not only just their pregnancy but as a single mom empowering her there's grants and there's it was just I was I could not believe that I how did I go to church my whole life it had
00:14:54
Speaker
no idea all of this stuff was there like if I had known all of this stuff was there then I might not have even had the first thought of having an abortion like there's so many great resources but no one really talks about them no one really knows about them and in fact my book helper be brave that I just
00:15:10
Speaker
wrote it has over 300 ideas of how people can get involved in the movement and and when I say movement it isn't just pregnancy it is single moms and but we have also a helper be ready podcast show and we just filmed 13 episodes in the last two days so I literally just finished right before
00:15:29
Speaker
So we highlighted 13 organizations that are doing stuff and they were, I mean, there was the prevention side with the sex trafficking. There was, there was just all kinds of stuff like college grant organizations for specifically for single moms, child care organizations that help single moms get back on their feet.
00:15:46
Speaker
cars like helping you single moms get cars. I mean there's so many great things and but I love what I love the most though about the pro-life movement is the church is forever. Like we as when we invite these girls to come into church we're not inviting them to come just to an embrace grace group. We are inviting them to be a part of a spiritual family.
00:16:05
Speaker
And we're inviting them to do life with us for the rest of their lives if they'll allow it, you know, because that's what church is. And we don't kick each other when we're down. We pick each other up when we fall. And I just interviewed one Embrace Race alumni that was from 10 years ago. And she had been trafficked when she was 17. She was a prostitute, all kinds of stuff, and ended up getting a felony.
00:16:28
Speaker
just for 10 years was in the system. And she then finally broke free, but she ended up getting pregnant. So she decided to come back home. And the first day she got home, she went to church with her family.
Success Stories from Embrace Grace
00:16:40
Speaker
She hadn't been to church in years.
00:16:41
Speaker
And she was scared with a pregnancy. She went down front for prayer and told her they were pregnant. They said, we have an Embrace Grace group and a new semester starts in two days. We would love for you to join. She called me right from that church lobby. This was 10 years ago. And I remember her. She was so amazing. And so she got through Embrace Grace. She got all her baby stuff that she needed, but she had so much debt. She had, she just was in, she didn't even have a GED or a GED at that point. Cause she dropped out when she left and she was 17.
00:17:06
Speaker
But all this to say is she got in a brace grace, but then started getting involved in a single parent family and doing life with our church. And it was amazing to see the reflection of the whole process because she's like, all my baby stuff were covered. Baby items were covered in a brace grace.
00:17:21
Speaker
Then I went on to single parent families and they gave me a car. She said it was a Volkswagen Passat with 200,000 miles on it and it was all I had and it was where I could get to school. They helped me get my GED and then they gave me a grant where they were giving her $1,500 a month to go towards her bills so she could go to school plus her tuition and she did that and she got her college degree and her master's and now she's going to be an attorney
00:17:46
Speaker
And now she's like the director of a trafficking organization and she is advocating, she's speaking in front of police officers, training them on how to get girls out of the industry. I mean, so much and all, and the biggest thing that I'm just like so blown away about is that right before Trump was done, it was like December 29th or 30th, something like that of this past year, she got a presidential pardon for her felony from Trump.
00:18:15
Speaker
And so he lifted it because he saw all of the great things that was happening. And now she like, I just went to her presidential pardon party and it was so fun. And she had girls that were trafficking victims that she had helped get back on their feet and sat in court cases with them. And they were just all, everybody got a chance to talk about how she has changed our lives. And I just started thinking about, I wonder if the guy that donated the 200,000 mile car
00:18:45
Speaker
Like, I wonder if he knows that he changed the world.
00:18:49
Speaker
You know, just like it took a village. She talked about it. She had a pro bono attorney that helped her and the prosecutor that actually arrested her and took her to and charged her with felony. He was at the party and he spoke about how her life had changed. Like, I'm just so amazed. Like all of these people that rallied around her, it wasn't one person that made an impact on her life. It was everyone, the body of Christ, which is so beautiful.
00:19:17
Speaker
that helped her to get where she is today. And that's what the kingdom is supposed to look like. That is what church is. And that is how we can help make abortion unthinkable is just all of us using the strengths gifts that we each of us have in our heart, whatever resources in our hand, maybe it's a 200,000 mile car. You know, maybe you're really grew. Maybe you are an attorney. Maybe you're a counselor. She talked about it. Church. He did amending the soul. And that is like a super inner healing, like powerful program.
00:19:44
Speaker
that's like goes to the root of stuff. And she's like, I got so much healing in that church that helps me with where I am today. It's just, it's just awesome. If we're all doing it right, you know, and really like doing what we have in our hand, what we have in our heart, the strings and gifts that God put inside of us to do the good work that he's called us to do, we can make abortion unthinkable together. And I always say pro life is a stance, but pro love is an action.
00:20:10
Speaker
And it's the action, it's God's kindness that leads us to what changes hearts. That is what changes lives and changes minds. And so I think we really do have a shot at reducing the abortion rate immensely just by the church welcoming and opening our arms to these girls and welcoming them in and saying, we'll walk with you. And no mom has to ever walk alone.
00:20:33
Speaker
Oh, that is so powerful. So, so beautiful. So I have a question related to that as we are walking with these young women. You were talking about how much shame you felt coming back into the church as a young woman who was pregnant, out of wedlock, people knew it. I have quite a few young women in my community, some who have walked this road or maybe walking this road right now. So when you talk about shame culture,
00:21:01
Speaker
and how it affects unmarried mothers, women who've had abortions. How does the church change that? How do we change this shame culture when, like clearly the church has a sexual ethic, right? But one of the problems we see here is it's almost as if the only time that we suddenly douse people with conviction on this is when there's evidence
00:21:28
Speaker
a baby being born and not before. So how can we change that? How can we do that in a healthy way instead of a shameful way?
00:21:38
Speaker
Yeah. Well, it's hard because I don't know, one time this lady came up to me and she's like, I'm struggling with the fact that y'all give her baby showers. Like maybe they deserve gently used stuff and all of that. And I was like, have you read the prodigal son? You know, like if you think about, you know, they're two, the boy that the son that went off and spent all his dad's money was with prostitutes and all of that. And he decided to come back home. But my favorite part of the passage is it says, and while he was a long way off,
00:22:06
Speaker
The father ran to him and he had his servants put a robe on his back and a ring on his finger. And he said, son, I'm so glad you were lost and now you're found in your home. And a lot of these girls are still a long way off.
00:22:18
Speaker
But they're coming to church, like they've turned toward their Heavenly Father. They're listening and opening their hearts to Him. And we can be like the brother that's like, well, that's not fair. Like she doesn't deserve all the stuff in the shower, you know, and all that. Or, you know, and the father told the other brother, he's like, son, everything that I have is yours.
00:22:39
Speaker
You have everything that you need in me. So come and let's celebrate that your brother was lost and now he's found. And you know, who knows if he ever did. And so who are we? Are we the brother? Are we part of throwing the party? And that's what I feel like the baby showers are. They're big prodigal parties. But the issue with shame is that the abortion rate is exactly the same inside the church as it is outside.
Addressing Abortion in Churches
00:23:00
Speaker
There's no difference. So these women are getting abortions and they're in our pews. And one in four women and men have experienced an abortion.
00:23:08
Speaker
So that's a lot and they're sitting in our pews and I'm not, I don't think that pastors need to do a whole sermon on abortion. You know, that's not really necessary, but even just saying the word and saying that there's healing and hope for you and that if you have an unplanned pregnancy, our doors are open to you. And I remember one time I spoke at a conference and it was like an interview thing and there, it was an arena of 10,000 women.
00:23:36
Speaker
And at the very end, the lady that was interviewing me, she was like, Amy, thank you so much. You know, I talked about, you know, girls that choose life or grade, blah, blah, blah, all the stuff that I do. But the Lord, like, just at the end, she was like, thank you so much for being here. And I was like, hang on. I want to say one more thing. I said, there's 10,000 women in this arena. And that means that.
00:23:54
Speaker
at least 2,500 of you have experienced an abortion. And I just want you to know that you're not disqualified from ministry, that you are qualified, that God loves you. He wants to heal your heart, even starting this weekend at this big conference. He wants to heal your heart. And that Revelation 12, 11 says, we overcome by the blood of
00:24:13
Speaker
like sharing your story. You don't have to keep it inside anymore. Ask for healing. There are healing groups in churches all over the nation. In fact, at Gateway, which is where I go, there's healing groups. Get connected. It was like 30 seconds. Like, that was it. And I went back to our booth. We had two booths at this arena because it's such a big arena. And after my session, it was like we were inundated with women.
00:24:39
Speaker
Mascara, you know, and some of them would talk, some of them wouldn't, but there was one specific one that I was wrecked. It was her and her two sisters, and they were all wearing matching t-shirts.
00:24:53
Speaker
And they were like doing a fun like girls, you know, conference weekend. And they, the girl in the middle, the sister in the middle, they could, they were like holding her up. Like they could barely, like they were just kind of carrying her almost to her, to me. And they were like, she's, she was bawling. And they said, she was very touched by what you said. And she really asked to come talk to you. And so I kind of gave her a moment to like collect her emotions. And I will never forget. She looked at me in the eyes and tears down her face. And she said, you need to tell me that God can use me.
00:25:24
Speaker
And it was like it had never crossed her mind that she could be used by God in some way because of her abortion decision. And how many years has she believed that lie? And how many years have the women and men that are sitting in our pews have believed that lie, that this is the unforgivable sin when God does forgive?
00:25:47
Speaker
And it's amazing. I feel like if we can help set these women and men free, it's going to be a revival in our churches because we actually have a ton of embrace grace leaders, not by any pursuing on our own will, but that, but that our post abortive and lead embrace grace. It's not all, but probably more than half. And I think that I've talked to many of them and they just said, I want to be the person I wish I had in my life years ago when I made that decision.
00:26:16
Speaker
And that is what we all need to do. What, what do we need in this season? Who did we need during that time in our life? And how can we be the change we want to see in the world and helping set these people free that every church needs to have abortion healing groups. There's great curriculum that's out there. If anyone's watching support after abortion.com is so amazing.
00:26:36
Speaker
because they're kind of like a concierge, I think, of like abortion healing because you could go fill out their stuff and you're like, you know, I'm a Christian, I'm not a Christian. I would rather do something in my own home by myself, like maybe watching something. I don't wanna be around people or I want a small group or I won't add a church or I want a retreat. There's abortion healing retreats. I'm Catholic, I'm Protestant, whatever it is, you answer all these questions and you tell them what area you're in.
00:27:02
Speaker
And they connect you to an abortion healing program. That's a good fit for you. And they're just so awesome. So, if anyone's out there, start with that and then jump into the movement and be the change that you want to see in the world. And also, 1 of the thing I noticed someone asked a question about, and I think this is a super important question if.
00:27:19
Speaker
women that choose abortion should be criminalized. And a lot of people have struggled with voting a certain way because they're like, they shouldn't go to jail, you know, for, for having abortion. And so my thoughts are, you know, that they shouldn't be criminalized. I think the doctors should be criminalized, but the girls, they're just scared. Like they need counseling. They need help and, and hope. And so no, I don't, I don't think that at all. Like that doesn't help anything.
00:27:47
Speaker
you know, to put someone that just had an abortion in jail. I would never write.
00:27:52
Speaker
Yeah, the fear, the uncertainty, the lack of resources. There's so many driving factors there that led to that decision. That makes perfect sense. So a lot of times when we talk about this, we talk about it in terms of women, but what about how men can get involved? Because I have a couple of questions with this actually, because you said that you married your baby daddy.
00:28:21
Speaker
So you got married while you're pregnant. And do you think for the women who they don't stay with their baby daddy, who they're not, or they can't marry and he's an unsafe person, or maybe they were raped, for those women, like what does it look like to support them since they don't have this man in their life? And then I guess with that, how can men also get involved in being?
00:28:51
Speaker
Yeah. Well, with supporting the women, I mean, embrace grace, I would say like, I'm actually about to go into group tonight, um, here in a little bit. I'm leading a group too. And most all of them, one, one would, baby dad was murdered in October. She's totally alone. Still wearing your engagement ring. The other ones.
00:29:08
Speaker
The ones that look like they're involved are kind of looking like they maybe shouldn't be or they just need some help and help themselves. But most of them, all I have to say is most of them that go through Embrace Grace are totally alone. And that is just community is so helpful for them to know that there's another person here that is going through the same thing that we are. And even with inviting girls to Embrace Grace, it's kind of interesting because I like have a radar. I find them everywhere.
00:29:36
Speaker
And I, I always invite them to church and they always think there's like strings attached to like they're like, wait, you want me to go to a church like
00:29:44
Speaker
I don't know about that, and I hate that. They don't feel welcome or they don't feel comfortable coming right at the very beginning. It takes a lot of encouragement and text and things like that. But we're very strategic because at the first class, when we do finally get them to come, all the leaders share our stories, and we're very vulnerable with our stories. And so we talk about it.
00:30:09
Speaker
And, and, and tell everything. And it's funny because after class, I'll be, I'll hear him say, well, you know, that lady's story was way worse than my story. Like if that, if God did that for her, then maybe God will do that for me too. And if she can like talk about that kind of stuff in church, like maybe I can talk about my stuff that I'm struggling with.
00:30:27
Speaker
as well. And it's like their walls immediately start coming down and they'll say stuff like, I thought you were going to tell me I was a bad person and that I was going to go to hell and that my life was over and all this stuff. Like that's what they think church is. That is horrible. Like they think it's about behavior modification when it's really about a heart transformation. And, but then after that, then they're like, then they are, are totally all about it. But it's, I think that it helps when we are very vulnerable and sharing our own, that they realize it's a safe place for them to go to.
00:30:57
Speaker
Yeah. Well, that's like what you said about that we're overcoming by the word of our testimony. Yes. That it, the power of your story and what the spirit uses to help show people he'll do that for me too. Yeah. And it's healing the person that sharing their story, because what we bring into the light is what God heals and what we keep in darkness or shame, you know, shame isolates. And so what we isolate or keep in darkness is what the enemy will torment us with. So telling her story is super powerful and healing.
Embrace Legacy: Supporting Single Dads
00:31:28
Speaker
Um, so, you know, the support of the church and just walking alongside her is huge. And, and for dads, we actually are launching this month, I think in a week or so embrace legacy, which is our new single dads, uh, program, which we're really excited about for the dad. So lots of men can get involved that way. And I think there are a lot of men that have shied away from the pro-life movement only because you hear the other side and it's like my body, my choice and very like woman centric, um, conversations and.
00:31:57
Speaker
and things, but they actually do have a big role because even if you look at the top five reasons why women have abortions, one of the top five reasons is the guy. And whether, and most of it is, I've heard so many girls say like, if he would have just been around like co-parented with me, not necessarily, you know, if the relationship just isn't going to work out. If he would have just said, I'm doing this with you, we're going to be okay, then they wouldn't have made their abortion decision.
00:32:27
Speaker
And so they do have a very strong voice more than I think they even know. And I remember one time it was a pregnant, it was at a race groups group out in like Lubbock, Texas or something. And I had gone to visit the leaders and they were saying that the pastor comes on the princess day. And when they come,
00:32:47
Speaker
They, he serves them their food. He prays over them and he's a male pastor. And once they were telling me about one girl who she was deaf in one ear because she had been beaten.
00:32:59
Speaker
so bad by her boyfriend that she couldn't hear. She was deaf. And what she had said afterwards, after they had the meal and everything, they kind of went around and talked about like their favorite parts of Embrace Grace. But one of the things she said was, I want to marry a guy like that. And she said, I know that sounds really weird and I don't mean you. You know, she's pointing to the pastor. She said, I've never seen a man pray for someone, a pray over a woman before. I've never seen that before. And she said, I want a man that prays for me.
00:33:28
Speaker
And just his presence being there is so powerful. Like there's something about, you know, as a father's heart, you know, and speaking into their identity. And there's a pastor in Houston that part of Princess Day is the crowning, you know, and we crown them and we tell them about their value and worth. And this is at the end of the semester.
00:33:47
Speaker
But he does like a special prophetic crowning where it's like each individual girl, and he doesn't even know them. He knows their names, that's it. He doesn't see them until that last Princess Day class. And he does like a prophetic prayer and blessing over each one. And like it is, he did it live at our gala last year and an Embrace Race mom came. We were wrecked. Like when he put the crown on her head,
00:34:16
Speaker
and said, dear, you know, daughter, you're a daughter of a king and just all of these amazing life words spoken over her, like she was moved. It was just beautiful. Like men have roles, but even more so than that, like my husband, he loves, he's a really big money guy and he likes, money guy, like not saying we have money, but that he likes, he loves budgeting finances, things like that. And there's a single mom we've kind of taken under a wing and he'll help her with her checkbook or give her, you know, advice on
00:34:46
Speaker
What she should spend next, you know, she's trying to build a business right now and stuff like that. There's so many different things. It's like looking at each person, like are you an attorney? Maybe you want to give your services to a single mom so she can battle out custody cases that are good, you know, that are beneficial to both parents and to the child and all of that. I mean, there's so much.
00:35:08
Speaker
We limit it to just during the pregnancy, but we have to open our minds to what is our hobby, what is our passion, what is our job, whatever that is and how can I use that.
00:35:21
Speaker
to help women, or men, to be able to feel empowered to parents, even with these men, to just lead their families spiritually, even if they're not with the mom. We need more dads in the world. Like, Pat, we need more dads. It would change everything. So that's our next goal, is working on the guys. And we'll see how that goes. I'm so excited about it.
00:35:44
Speaker
That's amazing. Thank you for sharing that. I love that you've developed that for them. And I'm so excited to hear how that goes. So I know that you have a lot of ways that we can support you, that people can get involved. Would you share a little bit about how people can, well, I guess just in general support you first of all, and then say they want to start a group if they don't have one, like what that process would look like.
00:36:14
Speaker
Okay. Well, first of all, so helper be brave. We developed a podcast show and a book because like I had mentioned earlier in the show or broadcast that I had no idea there was a pro-life movement. And so I want to change that. I want to
00:36:30
Speaker
highlight all of these amazing organizations or just people that are doing great things and hopefully the people that are listening, they will be spurred to action. Like, oh my gosh, what she's doing with these kids in foster care or adoption or whatever it might be, abortion healing. I want to get involved in that and then giving them ways to connect and get that started.
00:36:52
Speaker
So that Listening to helper be brave podcast show you can watch on YouTube or you can subscribe through iTunes or Spotify We also have the book helper be brave discover your place in the pro-life movement over 300 ideas are in there You can get it through Amazon or embrace grace calm
00:37:09
Speaker
And then also we have a really cool thing on helper be brave.com that just released. It's a quiz. So basically you go to the quiz and take a little quiz. And cause if you're like, I don't know what I'm good at, I don't really, I don't have hobbies. Like, I don't know. Go take the quiz and it's about 40 or 50 questions, but it only takes you about 10 minutes or easy. And then it emails you a customized list of ideas of how to just get started in the movement. This is what we think, you know, if you're super strategic or if you're super relational or
00:37:39
Speaker
If you're like an influencer and you're really good at selling people on stuff and things like that, there is a place for you. And so it'll email you that customized list. Check that out at helperbeebrave.com. Also with the book Helper Be Brave, you could also launch a book club. If you want to figure it out with your friends together, you could do a book club and on helperbeebrave.com, there is a way you can request a book club launch kit.
00:38:05
Speaker
It's got all the things about how social media graphics, discussion questions, all the things that you could do it together. And y'all can all figure it out together and brainstorm together. It will be really good. And then for Embrace Grace. So if you feel led to start a group, Embrace Legacy, the DABS group, Embrace Grace, which is for single and pregnant or Embrace Life, which is for single young moms. We have the digital curriculum. We have everything you need. And I know people, we are on the phone with people that are interested all day long and the common thoughts are,
00:38:35
Speaker
you know, oh, if they knew my story, they probably wouldn't want me to lead or I've never led anything in my life. And the enemy starts lying to you. You have a place here and we made it super easy for you because it's digital curriculum. Like you just press play.
00:38:51
Speaker
March 18th through 21st. Mark your calendars, you guys. The theology pop-up shop is back. We only open the shop four times a year, and you get to pre-order all of our amazing theology and discipleship-related products.
00:39:09
Speaker
This year's shop, the first shop, is March 18th through 21st. You'll jump on the website FeliciaMasonHeimer.com when we release all these products and place your order. About four weeks later, once we get them all in, we will ship them out to you.
00:39:27
Speaker
So it's a little bit different than your standard shop. It's not like Amazon, but it allows us to not hold stock in a warehouse. We're so stoked for what we have coming this time. T-shirts, zip ups, hoodies, maybe even a little onesie in our Raising Tiny Disciples line, plus a new ebook on Easter, the history of the holiday and how to celebrate it and so much more. I hope you'll join us March 18th through 21st.
00:39:54
Speaker
Watch your email if you are in my newsletter community. You'll be the first to get notified when we open the shop. Otherwise, you can watch Instagram and Facebook and hop on the website during those dates to place your order. We're so excited to get these products in your hands.
00:40:15
Speaker
Thank you for joining us for today's episode of Verity. You can connect with fellow listeners by following me on Instagram at Felicia Masonheimer or on our Facebook page by the same name. Also visit FeliciaMasonheimer.com for links to each episode and the show notes.