Nonsensical Nonsense 281 Martha Stewart is a hottie

Transcript

Speaker: Thanks.

Speaker: Bye!

Speaker: Dance.

Speaker: What's going on everybody? There it is. Welcome.

Speaker: It's a tasty beverage right there, ladies and gentlemen. Just what the doctor ordered. Welcome to a nonsensical nonsense. We got Jeff in the building. What's up? We got the ghost of Tony D and if you're wondering what the D stands for, it stands for Dromoville USA. I always thought I was going to kick him down. Tony.

Speaker: And of course, I'm going to watch my food. I am the Gallic. Welcome to the show. If you guys aren't already, go ahead and check out on socials, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. Don't forget to join us live every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday on. Do what I do and share. Yeah. On YouTube.

Speaker: and Twitch. And if you can't join us live, you can always listen to us on Spotify and basically everywhere you listen to podcasts at all at nonsensical nonsense podcast. Give us a follow. Give us a like. And if you'd be so kind, give us a share like I'm doing right. I already did it. I did it while you're talking. That's, that's the beauty of me, baby. I look at rock. I was doing it as the show was, uh, you're kicking off.

Speaker: Yeah, I had to find the link. I'm kind of stupid. I'm like, wait, where's the fucking link? I'm sitting here blaming my computer going, where's the fucking link? I can't find it. Oh, it's on YouTube. I had to find a rethink on my priorities of computer versus phone. I am currently. Yeah, I've been.

Speaker: Putting it out onto the Instagram. Hopefully that's right. Instagram page. Here's my question. I have a question for you. How often do you use Insta? Instagram? Yeah. I very rarely use it. It's almost like for me, Instagram is an afterthought.

Speaker: You know what I mean? It's not my go -to. I'm on there every day, but I'm also chit -chatting with people. I'm also, you know, promoting a show, this, that, and the other thing. You know, I talked to a lot of other podcasts and different things like that. And now, obviously, now I have a new page, so now I have

Speaker: three pages and yeah, I saw that. Jesus Christ. How do you keep up, dude? Honestly, how do you keep up? I honestly, it's like a schedule in a in a in a spreadsheet. I was talking about it last night on nonsensical nonsense. You know, like show this is nonsensical nonsense. Yeah, the Glick show. I'm sorry. On the Glick show last night, I was talking about my fucking

Speaker: He's like this motherfuckers. Whatever fucking show this is today that I'm on, I don't know. I kind of strive in that chaos with personal life, like, you know, kids and relationship and work. And then he got the podcast life, which three days a week for this show, one day a week for the Glitch show. And then if I happen to make an appearance on anybody else's shows throughout the week or

Speaker: or this side or the other thing. Um, and then all the behind the scenes stuff. It's a lot. I'm going like, yeah, that's, that's like, I, I literally at work, I'm, I'm a hundred miles an hour and my hair on fire and I love it. But like the social media thing, I just, I, uh, yeah, I'm exhausting 900 miles an hour. Uh, just, just fucking, just fucking rocking and rolling.

Speaker: Um and and I have a theory about that too and and I and I thrive under that. Sorry, I'm trying to I told Tony Monday night. I got a new computer. Did you? Oh, that's right. You said the all the the Glick **** something up and yeah, he dumped a whole ass beer on my on my laptop. That'll do it. Yeah and he gave me his uh they had a spare one. It's newer but it's a Chromebook. It's all the same. It's just a lot bigger.

Speaker: Right. So it's it's it's weird getting used to a new computer when I got this one size But it's not size it's the it's the way you use it But I have a theory about the whole and you and I both have ADHD Would you consider it when it comes to

Speaker: moving at 100 miles an hour, hair on fire, it's an advantage, correct? Yeah, I thrive under those conditions. I do too. And I think that's why I'm so good at work. Yeah, I thrive under those conditions. I like them. Plus, if I slow down, then I start getting in my head and I start overthinking things and thinking about things. And it's like, all right, let me stay preoccupied with

Speaker: keeping everything moving and running. So it's not really to answer your kind of a long -winded and roundabout way, but to answer your question, it's not really a matter of finding time to do it. It's just a part of my normal routine at this point. At the end of the day, you know, social media has become, and it's more social media for the shows. It's not like, yeah, they're trying to get

Speaker: It's not like, you know, leisure social media time where I'm just aimlessly scrolling. I'm networking, making connections and stuff like that and promoting the show. So unlike some people who, I mean, I'm glad that you're here. It'd be nice if you participated, but I understand. He's on another show as we speak. You have a better class of losers to entertain right now.

Speaker: I'm really not, I'm trying to focus on doing the intro, but I'm here. I was able to get the intro out. I was always able to get the intro out. Yeah, no, no, you were off screen and I got the intro out. As I said, we got the ghost of Tony D in the building, because it was just... About 15 minutes ago, really good. I would like to...

Speaker: I have to run to the gate here in a minute. My food's gonna be here. I took the day off work today. My stomach was all fucked up earlier. You too? He probably looked at his pictures. He watched those TikToks he made and went, Jesus Christ. I get started every day. I love it. It's great. Dude, I'm sitting there scrolling on fucking TikTok last night and that fucking video shows up and I was like, Jesus Christ! What the fuck? You see the one who's sitting there?

Speaker: That one that one gives me nightmares Tony, I literally woke up the other day going Jesus get off me motherfucker Sounds like you guys are jealous

Speaker: If, if that's what jealousy is, then yes, sir. I'm 100 % jealous of, you know, you, you know what they say. If you got haters, you must be doing something right. And I didn't even have to go very far to get haters. Let me, let me tell you, buddy. Let me tell you, buddy. I love you. So I'm not a hater. So you're fucked. Like, did you want to make your little announcement, sir?

Speaker: Well, I mean, I kind of talked about it. I talked about it last night on The Glitch Show. But no, I mean, it's a different world for me. It is way out of my comfort zone. I bet. Hold on one second. Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah. Canada deserves this. Twice. Which does it take to send a letter to Canada? Who's it going to? Canada. It says, dear Canada, f*** you.

Speaker: Shall I play it again? We'll play it again here because I have complaints about Canada. Okay, one more time. Who's it going to? Canada. It says, Dear Canada, **** you. There you go.

Speaker: But no, I talked about it on the Glick Show last night. But it's just, it's so out of my comfort zone. It's not the world that I live in. And it's, it's kind of challenging because I've never, like, I've never looked at myself as being very attractive. Agreed. I'm the same way. Let alone do I know how to do quote unquote sexy.

Speaker: Agreed this is why we're best friends because I I literally the other day I was I was talking to a friend of mine and and He's like dude. What the fuck we talked about. He's like I saw your picture on Facebook. What the shit dude? I was like what he said It looks like you just rolled out of bed and took it and I was like I did he's like put some fucking effort man look good for the ladies and I was like I

Speaker: What ladies? The only thing I'm fucking is retarded. And of course, you know, you know, I'm hot. There's that and the other thing. She was like, you know, it's like obligated. Thanks. Look at your fucking TikTok. Yeah. But if you put if you put views versus following

Speaker: equals hot that I am one ugly motherfucker. I have no views, no followers views or anything like that. But, you know, just based off of, if I just do a normal video, the amount of women that like it, try to do a thirst trap or something, you know, I've done it even meant to be thirst traps that somehow got turned into a fucking thirst trap. I did, I did one thirst trap and I've never heard the end of it.

Speaker: Recently, I have only done three. And only one is still on my. I think mine stole my. On the show tried to copy all three of them.

Speaker: Oh yeah. I wish I had the theme song to single white female. I don't, I can't even think of it. No, but like something that equates to that movie. You know what I mean? Like what we were talking about the other week of songs that make you think of movies, just got to play it the background. But it's, it's, it's, I, I, I,

Speaker: I don't feel I'm very photogenic. Well, I know I'm not. I hate taking pictures of myself. Yeah, well. Because then I'd have to actually put effort into it. Yeah. I'm very, I'm very, this is what you get. Here you go. There it is. That's me. Snapping a selfie compared to creating an only fan.

Speaker: and knowing that it's meant to be quote unquote sexy is totally different. So I'm way out of my realm of comfort zone these days. I want to thank Jeff for finally spelling founding right this month. It just looks like fondling. I wonder if I can change that.

Speaker: Uh, yeah, I can. Jesus. I wonder how long it'll take for him to realize it. I can't even fucking spell tonight. See how long it takes for him to even realize it.

Speaker: Anyhow, what's going on in your world this evening, Tony D? Oh, nothing. Oh, nothing. A little bit of this, a little bit of that. A great time. Yeah, listen to the mic. What's that going on, Ted? Sure, for the most part, if you ask me.

Speaker: So I reached this morning. He recapped on a couple of things. Nothing major on my end, honestly, for real. I'm just taking it easy for right now. What is Jeff doing? He's breezy. He had to run to the gate to get his food. That's pretty good food. I don't understand.

Speaker: I would need to be a goddamn delivery driver down there. I got to fucking pull up to a gate, call you, then wait on you to bring your ass out to the gate. Yeah. Well, typically in most gated communities, you can either. I'm not open the gate from the house or if there's a guard shack there, you just tell them I got a food delivery for so -and -so, and then I just call them in or. Yeah.

Speaker: You know, I, I worked in, when I worked at Ork and I worked at, I had several gated communities and I was just pulled to the guard shack and tell them where I was going. Usually I'd be in there cause I'd have seven or eight different houses that I was, so I would do them all on the same day. And they're like, where are you going today? It's going to be a long list, but, um,

Speaker: kind of a pain in the ass at times when he was just trying to get on about your day and you get some guard that wants to think they're **** Barney Fife. Mm hmm. Like bro, I'm just the working man. I'm just I'm just here to kill bugs. I have to call and make sure that I'm like, oh, Jesus. Go ahead. Be right here waiting. Well, I didn't get paid by the hour. So, I mean, if I got paid by the hour, I'll be like, alright, I'll just sit here and wait but

Speaker: You know, I lose time sitting in my fucking truck. I'm not getting paid for it. If you're in route, you should have been good. What's up? My route was tight. The whole thing, if you was in route, you should have been good. And once you arrived, I'd prove that you got there that time. That's only neat. You know, I ran my route pretty tight, so I didn't leave too many leaways for idiots who wanted to play dumb games. Good seeing me.

Speaker: every month for the last eight years. And then all of a sudden on this one day, they're like, oh, we don't remember who you are. Tony, your phone's ringing. Shut up. No, I had to go get my subway. I've been craving subway for like a month.

Speaker: And and the the subway the app The uber eats app it was saying like they were out of lettuce and stuff like it was like lettuce sold out No, but it's like like they didn't have the the one that they didn't have the bread I like the one day they didn't have they didn't have well today They didn't have fucking bell peppers and I'm pissed about it. Oh, I'd be mad about that. Yes. Oh

Speaker: Yeah, I can live without lettuce. I don't, I don't put, I don't get lettuce on my subs from Subway. So they got, I think it's a Southwest milk sandwich. I don't know. I just get the same thing since I've been to Subway. I don't know if I've been to Subway since they revamped their menu and everything. They revamp the menu and they have a whole bunch of new subs and shit like that. I used to have the hookup at Subway back in high school. I dated a girl. Uh, well right after high school, I dated a girl that, um,

Speaker: for her 18th birthday, her parents said, uh, what do you want? And they were basically meant to car. And they said, she said, I don't want a car. I want subway. And for her birthday, she wanted subway. She wanted subway. And what she meant was I want a franchise. She has nine of them now. Congratulations to her. Yeah. So because they were like, we're going to buy you a brand new Mercedes. She's like, no, keep the car. I want a subway.

Speaker: Were they already subway franchisees? I think so. I think the family had two.

Speaker: already, and she's like, I want one. And then she's branched out after a year. Oh, that makes sense. That was probably a substitute for him. Yeah. Well, actually, a Subway franchise is actually one of the cheapest franchises you can get. McDonald's is a million dollars out the door. Yeah, but I mean, if you're already a franchisee, then it's easier to add on or get more, you know what I'm saying? Right. Then coming in, like, if I had a million dollars and I went to McDonald's Corp and I said, hey, I want to buy a franchise, it would be a, it would be a - Still got to jump through hoops.

Speaker: Yeah, you know, it'd be a process and everything for me to go through to get a damn McDonald's. But, you know, if you're already in the business, you know, there's a guy here in town. I think he owns two of them here in town, but then he has like four or five more spread out in different places. So. Yeah, it's it's it's if

Speaker: If I had the time to actually run one, I would totally buy one. Wendy's is the same way now, they're franchises because we had them down in Charleston. So corporately or whatever, or not corporately, but on that local level, we took care of all the Wendy's. There's a bunch of Wendy's down in Charleston. I think every Wendy's had a different owner except for mine. I had two that had the same owner or three that had the same owner.

Speaker: Um, which was great when he, when he bought the, when he bought the franchises, because the previous owner, those Wendy's were fucking disgusting. I stopped eating their Wendy's because of how gross they were. I stopped eating Wendy's when I worked there.

Speaker: The new owner came in there and he said, you're gonna listen and do what this man fucking tells you or I'm fucking firing every goddamn last one of you. And he meant that shit. That was back when people were easily replaceable. Easily replaceable. You just may not get what you like. You may not like what you replaced them with. You're gonna have to replace them 40 times to get something you want. I said, I will fire every goddamn one of you close this store down.

Speaker: get everything taken care of and I'll re -staff it and re -open it. I don't give a fuck. But he also had more money than God, so. He wasn't going to be hurting if he closed down three Wendy's and fired them. If I had, I would like to own a Subway, a Wendy's and like a Burger King. I don't want to own a McDonald's because apparently, some friends of mine, when I was younger and went to church,

Speaker: Friends of my family, they had two McDonald's and they said it was the biggest pain in the ass ever. But their subway and their Burger King ran like a fucking well oiled machine. No. Well, they also have their ice cream machines broken all the time at McDonald's anyway, so there's that. It won't work. Good job.

Speaker: You know the concept why the ice cream machine is always broken? Because I don't want to clean them. No. It's actually, McDonald's doesn't own the machine. They rent it. And if you want it serviced, you have to hire this certain company that you bought it from, and they charge an astronomical amount. And the machine is built to fail. Yeah.

Speaker: What are you waving at? Oh. I was like. I'll pay attention to the screen slap nuts. He's been in here all fucking day. I said no. No. No. No. Michelle has it. No. How do you say no in Spanish? No. Yeah. I'll play you German too. Hell no. I'll play you German, French, and everything. You all know.

Speaker: El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El, El,

Speaker: This is going to turn into another one of your questions. Ask questions, ask questions. Uh, honestly, right now these days. And it comes down to you get free food for life. You know, honestly, now these days would probably be a sheets, which is a gas station. Really? They have food in there and the food is fricking amazing. Like they have a whole kitchen and everything. And they do coffee, like all the specialty. Oh,

Speaker: But they were a PA gas station for like a million years. Everybody knew about them in PA. Right. And now they're starting to expand and they're blowing up in Ohio. I mean, they're everywhere now. I mean, we're getting ready to get a second one here in town. We just got our first one probably two years ago.

Speaker: And now they're getting ready to build a new one on the other side of town. But they're huge gas stations and you got all your normal gas station conveniences inside, but then they've got a full blown kind of like that. Bucky's joint in Texas. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's kind of like Bucky's.

Speaker: I think I'd like to own a buck. That place looks dope. But the food in there is, and they don't specialize in just one type of food. You can get burgers. They got breakfast stuff. You can get burritos and pizza and hot dogs and wraps and all that and subs. So I mean, they kind of run the gambit on food. You can get almost anything you're in the mood for.

Speaker: And it's really good and they make it fresh. So it's not like it's sitting in a, it's not in a deli, uh, Island type deal. Like, yeah, like it's not sitting there for three weeks. Yeah. They make it, it's made to order. Oh, I don't like that. I think I would want to get into that, that business or like buckets over a fast food joint. I think a fast food joint would kind of be a pain in the ass. Wouldn't you?

Speaker: I don't know if it would be a pain in the ass. I mean, it's a guaranteed money maker. Well, let's say that's the beauty of these franchises. So apparently the cheapest franchise you can get is Chick -fil -A. Well, that's because it's like it's like 50 grand. Well, that's because it's gross and that Jesus freaks out on it. Exactly. I'll buy Chick -fil -A and leave that bitch open on Sunday. Yeah, that would blow their mind. Gay's welcome. I bet I won't have my franchise very long. I bet you there's a rule against it.

Speaker: Yeah, there's a corporate rule. They're closed on Sundays because the Jesus freaks on Chick -fil -A. I'm sorry. Jesus and business don't mix. Well, they seems to be working pretty well for Chick -fil -A. Even though I don't - It doesn't seem trendy. It's just because it's trendy. No, I don't think it's trendy. No?

Speaker: No, that's just there. I've seen so much crap about Chick -fil -A. I've never eaten at a Chick -fil -A, so I have no frame of reference. It's just their business model. I don't think they've ever really caught any grief because they close on Sundays. They caught a lot of grief because they came out with their stance on the LGBT community. They caught some grief over that several years back, but since then, it's kind of blown over. But they've never caught any shit for

Speaker: for being closed on Sundays because they're Christians or, or, or whatever Catholics or whatever, whatever they are. That's just their business model and their beliefs. And this Sunday is the holy day is a Sabbath day. It's a day of rest. So it's not really any reason. I mean, people, you know, the fake outrage, like, Oh man, I wish sickly was open. I'm so hungry and I just want me a, a soggy chicken sandwich. Okay. That's, that's, that's my thing. I don't do soggy anything.

Speaker: They got they got great waffle fries. They got pretty good ice cream. Okay. But their chicken sandwiches. This motherfucker said ice cream. Yeah. What's wrong with ice cream, Tony? Oh, like ice cream is notorious for some of the best chicken nuggets ever. Yeah. Ever. Look at that. Yeah. Still chicken. I've got a great value chicken nuggets from Walmart better than chicken nuggets that you stood at. Hey, sleep on a great value chicken nuggets. Those things are dope.

Speaker: the air fryer or the deep fryer. Oh, god. Yeah. Yeah. Their sandwiches are nothing to it's just a piece of chicken fried or grilled. Mm hmm. And then they throw a pickle on there and then they put it on a soggy bun. No, no, no. The best chicken. This is your fillet. If you don't see it. No. I can't. He has a big crunch. Who? That thing is KFC. Okay. Big crunch. That thing's dope.

Speaker: because I will go to Zaxby's any day of the week and pay their overpriced price for their chicken and food and their and their meals. The chicken sandwiches I'll give you that. Yeah. For them chicken nuggets are chick -fil -a. No, they're hard to beat. I can't eat chicken nuggets. I feel like I'm ten years old.

Speaker: Zaxby's has chicken strips, not nuggies. No, Zaxby's has a grilled chicken sandwich, and they got chicken tenders, you're right. And them chicken tenders ain't no joke, but I've eaten this so much. Hey, you're 85 years old. You're too old to eat chicken nuggies. But the ultimate is you don't even live here. Shut up. Now who's jealous, motherfucker? I'm not jealous. In chicken places is raising kings.

Speaker: I haven't had raisins canes. What's raisins canes? They got the crinkle cup fries and that damn cane sauce. I'll eat a baby's foot dipped in cane sauce. That's nasty. I'm just saying. I'm in. That damn cane sauce ain't no change. Okay, okay. The one thing you need to learn is when a fat guy... No, you had it right. Other way. Fat guy. No, we flipped our cameras, remember you jackass? I'm pointing at you. When a fat guy...

Speaker: When a fat guy says the food is good, it's good. That's me, he's hungry. That's love right there. I got love for you, Mark. You're like fat guy, fat guy, fat guy. This is what you're doing. Fat guy, fat guy. There's nobody over there, Jeff. I can't twist my finger. Remember? I don't know what you're pointing at. What's up, Mark? How you doing these two motherfuckers?

Speaker: you. No, you're not. Yeah, I am. No, we mirrored our cameras. So you have to, you can actually point in the right direction. I'm going to throw this out there. I don't know if I did this before. Actually, I did talk about it Monday. So wait, that's pointing at you? Yeah. Yes. Weird, because. Remember. Yeah, but now on my screen, I'm not pointing at you. I'm pointing the other way. Oh, yeah. On my screen, I'm pointing at you. Which way am I pointing? Yeah, pointing the other way. Really? Yeah.

Speaker: where like my camera, that's me pointing at you. But what you're seeing is me pointing at you now. On my camera, I see, yeah, I'm pointing at you. Like if I did this... Mark, I don't make this shit up, I just watch. I did this. Now I'm pointing at you. No, now you're pointing at that wall again.

Speaker: This shit's a reflection job. And then, yeah. What were you gonna say? ADHD? I think that's all about it. That guy! Fuck it. I said it before I'm gonna say it again. I took Jason to see The Flash Saturday. Oh yeah, it was a good one. I thought it was a good fucking movie. I really did. I don't care what the critics say. And I say that because this is what this Flash is what a lot of people wanted from The Flash, the comic book heads.

Speaker: This is what they wanted. If they chained a few things up, that's fine. I didn't watch the story. I know I watched the Flashpoint Paradox movie. They were trying to do it along those lines. And the DC animated one, they went along those lines. They added to it. I will not complain about this movie. I will not. Yeah, they're doing what Spider -Man is doing with the multiverse thing, the animated and the live action, which is what fans want. They want to see the Flashpoint Paradox. You get to see all the other, you know,

Speaker: Marvel calls them the multiverse and in DC, there are other earth realms. So it's like, you know, you'll have 600 variants. You'll have like 600 variants of Superman and it'd be like Superman Earth 325 or whatever. Right. Right. Right. So here's the pattern. Here's the pattern. Yeah. And I think I realize these dimensional things in these movies, they're telling you something in the first place.

Speaker: Yeah, a good story. Calm down, conspiracy theory boy. Well, and in some of the different... And they kind of did this on the CW with the Flash and Arrow and stuff like that. They dove into that. But in one of the Earths, the Justice League, they're all Nazis. And they're bad guys.

Speaker: That's similar to Crisis on Two Earths, the animated movie, where there were bad guys. Damn good movie, by the way. All you cats out here that have not watched some DC animated movies, I'm going to need you to sit down one week and take a holiday and watch them back to back. OK. And I get that they're phenomenal, but I feel weird watching animated movies because I'm like, wait, I'm a grown ass man. Why am I watching? And Jeff, if you want to answer, I will tell you the truth. As a grown ass man myself, I don't care how old you all think I am, they're fucking dope.

Speaker: They're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're

Speaker: was like a animated version of the boys. It was very round. I'm gonna have to start rewinding. And it was on sci -fi channel. So, I knew it was on some **** because sci -fi will go there like FX did. Oh yeah. It's on. I'm not mad if you're pushing the envelope. I'm really not mad as if you're pushing the envelope but that Harley Quinn series, it started off okay but then it started going there.

Speaker: Yeah, like the second season, her and Poison Ivy Hook, you know, they get together because they had a relationship in the comics and they went on their, what was it called? Fuck, murder, steal world tour. Nice. And it was just them celebrating being together as a couple. And that's all they were doing. Killing people, robbing shit and fucking. They didn't show them fucking or anything like that. But I mean,

Speaker: But no, the DC movies that Tony's talking about, they were made for, they're not childish. They're made more for grownups, but they're just animated. I will say they're very PG -13. I get why they animate them. It makes it easier to make the movie and you can knock them out real quick. I get that. But it's like, I'm a grown ass man.

Speaker: I feel like I'm like a nerdy Asian parent's basement watching anime.

Speaker: Hey, yeah. And uh remodel in your house after the show. No, no **** Miley Cyrus. What the **** Now, who's looking for the camera? Disrespect this show gets like I watch this man on on smoke and they they got full undivided attention. It'll be on Ted Hicks full undivided attention, you know, doing his show full undivided attention. He comes on here and he's

Speaker: on the kitchen, ripping out his kitchen and talking to people. Yeah. This is like answering the phone. Good. The level of disrespect that we get. I'm offended. I'm offended. I'm starting to hashtag. I'm offended for you.

Speaker: You have paid attention to every broadcast I've been on. I've cooked and cleaned and done laundry in every broadcast. Oh, trust me, I know. Trust me. Just everybody knows that you cook and will do laundry in the middle of a show. That's because Tony can only eat when he's on a show. He has to have an audience to eat or he can't eat. It's his fetish. Oh, shit.

Speaker: Yeah. Here we go. We'll just put that one up there. I just got to cover the bases. Fuck all y 'all. Oh, shit. Hey, Jeff. Don't remember that. Barely, y 'all motherfuckers. Goldfish. Goldfish moment. Wow. I forgot about those, honestly. Go get your fucking shinebox. Shinebox. That's right.

Speaker: It was it was a whole thing for like four episodes. Yeah, I basically I was bitching about Kentucky and it was and turned out that I was Kentucky. Yeah. I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I get it. What? I smell toast.

Speaker: Redneck and off PSA I Smell toast. Oh my god. I remember the toast. Oh, there's my Twitter page my dick's Twitter page Now you haven't only fans look how far we've come Expanding as an individual yes, we're ever

Speaker: ever improving. Giving away for free on Twitter to an only in two years. I mean, who else could say that? What are you gonna do? It's all about growth and evolution, boys. Right.

Speaker: Cat Williams said it best. If you still sell, you still sell weed and you ain't moved up to cocaine. Exactly. You got to keep it pushing. So good.

Speaker: Tony? Yes. Last night, I had a moment of Tony thought. Boy, I'll make the show. Calm down. It's not like I was dreaming about you, sir. That was on Tuesday night. No. The other day, you were talking about my eating habits and the fact that I eat way too much. So last night, I'm sitting watching TV in bed.

Speaker: Chatting on WhatsApp and watching TikToks. And as I ate my two Big Macs, two fries, and a small McTrio, I thought, maybe Tony's right. I eat too much. Maybe. Oh, when you go to four burgers at once, I got to tell you. Well, McTrio's, it's a magnifica. That's what it is. It's just like a small hamburger with lettuce on it. It's not a very big thing, but you know.

Speaker: but also came with, you know, a two big max and two fries. And of course, my leader and a half Coke. Calm down, Farva. Mine's a leader and a half. Farva.

Speaker: Dude, have you started watching? I repeat, it's not. No, you've asked me a million times and it's still the same. Oh my God. You got to see it. I'm watching right now. It's on my list. It's so fucking funny. I'm watching too many shows right now. I'm trying to get geared up for the new, the new, um, reboot. They're bringing back justified. So I'm on the last season of the original run.

Speaker: Um, so I gotta finish that. And Nicki and I are watching mayor of Kingstown. I've heard a lot of good things about that. Tony got me hooked on fucking shameless. I mean, from. And I get you hooked on shameless. Very first episode, it has not slowed down from jump street. From justified? Yeah, mayor of Kingstown's got a lot of good reviews. I've got people talking to me about this is good. Oh, justified.

Speaker: No, I don't know. Who's in that? That's the Jeremy Renner movie. OK, OK, I'm into that. I like Jeremy Renner. What's that? What's that? The king of Staten Island, the fucking. Yeah, I want to punch him in the face so bad. Yeah, he's he's so douchey. I'm going to fight people when you tip your toes. Tony, I don't have to. I take out the knees and bring him down to my level. I understand. I mean, it's all about knowing what you're doing.

Speaker: usually when you're on your knees, Jeff. Yeah. God. Now, before I justified really good. That's one of those shows that from from, I mean, very opening scene of the damn show and it never slows down. I mean, it's it keeps you

Speaker: What's the show? I think you guys were talking about it the other day. The show where the guy basically fights to stay alive all day long. The guy from he plays crossbones. Yeah, that's a movie. It's called Boss Level. Boss Level. I want to see that. I saw a TikTok about it and I was like, oh, I'm in. Yeah, no, it's great. It's an awesome movie.

Speaker: It's like an action Groundhog's Day. I'm kind of into that. Because I was telling you guys about Happy Death Day. It's like a horror version of Groundhog's Day. This girl literally lives the same day over. Yeah, I've seen that movie. Well, that was like that Russian doll movie or series with the chick from Apple Pie, American Pie. I don't think I've seen that.

Speaker: I figured I was supposed to put it on everyone. She dies each episode and next episode she's reborn. And it's very groundhog day -ish. But she dies in a different way trying to avoid her death. Yeah, no, this is the happy death day. And there's actually two of them. There's two movies to it. But you have to figure out who the killer is. Anytime he kills her, he throws her in a different way. But as soon as she dies, she wakes up in the same spot.

Speaker: Uh, you know, yeah, it's, it's actually a really good movie. And Jeff, if you ever get bored and you got Netflix, watch the old guard before that sequel comes out. I saw the old Gordon when it first came out. I liked it. I liked it, but I, I thought it would have been better. And I've said this before, and I said the same thing about that movie, bright would have been better as a series. Cause I would have multiple care for character development. Well,

Speaker: I think that break as a series is pretty much be alien nation and all of us and they brought that up. So, that'll be a recap. That's fine but the old guard of the series. Yeah, I can see. They were supposed to drink. So, where's my drink? You got Jeff wanting a sandwich and now Tony wants to drink from you, baby. Yeah, we'll give her a

Speaker: Don't bet on that. Every time these two post a photo together, I have to comment. I'm surprised. This motherfucker is so goddamn heavy. Goddamn, I love this woman. I said, oh, God.

Speaker: No, they closed the food from the other day and he's like, I love this woman. I was like, Oh my God. Oh Jesus. I'm so scared for her. She was a regular fit foot. Next thing I realized it was Chris. You know what's going to happen at the wedding? He's going to have to say his vows. She's actually going to say, he's going to sound like Chewbacca. I will pay you to do that at the wedding.

Speaker: I'll pay for the wedding. It's the thing I do. Do you take this woman?

Speaker: I'll be in the back of the church just laughing my ass off and going, see, I got my Star Wars reference in this wedding. I'm surprised that she didn't, I was, I had her dying last night. I'm surprised that she didn't send you to my drunken ramblings last night. I had her, she was rolling. I was talking about the Bible.

Speaker: and how it should have been Adam and Steve instead of Adam and Eve because Eve was a bitch and she had one rule and she couldn't follow it. Adam basically asked God to make him Steve, but God said, I'll give you Steve, but you have to create human life with this woman and he mustered the race.

Speaker: Mr in the face. Mr and made a car set. Oh, snap. God walkers in the motherfucking house. Hey, boy. Look what I got here. And where are the white women at?

Speaker: I was going to take a videos and send it on Snapchat to our friends of my goofy ass ramblings. I was going on and on probably for a good fucking like half hour last night talking about the Bible. I've actually seen that in person. And I was the one laughing my ass off. I'm like, really, dude, really?

Speaker: I don't know. I don't know what brought it up but I was sitting here. I was sitting here in my chair and I was like **** Bible thumpers. Just went on a **** 30 minute rant. Just out of nowhere. Just sitting there staring at the wall.

Speaker: And I was like, and you know, they won't argue with me because I know just as much about the fucking Bible and she's like, how do you know so much about the Bible? I said, well, my mom and grandfather decided I was going to be a preacher and forced religion on me. And she was like, you are no fucking way. That fucking happened to me. My mom, my grandmother used to say, you'd make an excellent priest. I'm like, yeah, that's not going to happen. Yeah. Because nobody wants a pregnant nuns.

Speaker: No, so I don't like little boys. So, you know, I don't like little boys. So, you know, I don't like little boys. So, you know, I don't like little boys. So, you know, I don't like little boys. So, you know, I don't like little boys. So, you know, I don't like little boys. So, you know, I don't like little boys. So, you know, I don't like little boys. So, you know, I don't like little boys. So, you know, I don't like little boys. So, you know, I don't like little boys. So, you know, I don't like little boys.

Speaker: That poor woman. Who? Mickey? As his ex -wife? Yes, that poor woman. She loves me. She loves my dumbest kid. Yeah, well, drugs will do that. Yes.

Speaker: Sorry, Nicky. We can't do drugs. They're into anything. I know you're high. She got me stuck into watching the challenge. He just might be worth it. This does smell like chloroform. It used to be the real world road rules challenge. Now it's just the challenge. And they have people from all these various reality shows like the dating shows. Oh, OK.

Speaker: real world. It's a combination of all these shows. It's a competition type thing. And they put them in a house and they have all these challenges and shit like that. And every so we spent the day watching that. And she was like, she said, she's like, I love I love days like this, which we both do where we just lay around and we're lazy, lazy. That's a beautiful thing, honestly. And she's like,

Speaker: I don't think I could ever leave. And I was like, you couldn't if you tried. And she was like, I mean, if I wanted to, I could. And I was like, yeah. And then Ohio would have another case of a girl being locked in a cage in the basement. Wow. She was like, I got to stand you. A lot. I'm sure I can't stand you.

Speaker: That's what Chris needs. He needs to give her her next pill. He's like, I can't stand you. Don't forget your pill. Time for your medicine, Lonnie. Have some ice cream. It's good for you. What was that? Oh, bringing up reality shows. I have a question.

Speaker: the amazing race i was i would be on that show i would go on that show i'm ready to go dude i would go however that one clip of that woman trying to shoot that that watermelon dude i can't lie i have not watched the full episode in over a decade but i love the performance i love the performance if they want to take care of the travel arrangements and all you got to do is get there they have to because there's no fucking way a regular person before that

Speaker: Yeah, well, I mean, it's like, you know, they're on planes, buses, cab, they're all over the world. I think it's dope. And I'm not even trying to give you a special credit card. I would just do it for the show. Yeah, I would just do this for the show. It's awesome. Yeah. Not to mention the experience. What was the one, I watched the one that they had to, they

Speaker: in order to get to this challenge, they had to move like bags of feed. I'm like, wait, we're back on the fucking farm? Oh, I got this. You sit down, relax, honey. I got that premise. You got to go here. It's like a scavenger hunt around the globe and they take care of it. That that that.

Speaker: That looks like - I would totally be in. I would do that over eating animals. We need to put in our - Looking like - So the three of us be a team. Yeah, I would do a lot. That's one game I would go on. I don't even know a whole lot about. We gotta do what? Okay, let's roll. I'll do that. Yeah, we're going where? It's the whole premise. But I will be honest, I'm not doing those submersibles. I would call one of you fuckers going. I'm not doing those submersibles. I am. I am.

Speaker: Jumping around when this country under that country that that look like it was dope. Would you go bungee jumping Tony? No You can't help me kiss my No, you do it over the water The crazy thing is

Speaker: Here in Cancun they have they have the bungee jump where you could jump and it's basically it's a giant thing that goes up over the water and you go up the stairs and you you jump off and you're above the water and if you do it right and if you're heavy enough you dunk your head. Yeah that's what I want to do. You fat fucks would touch the bottom of the ocean but me I just barely touch the water. This is not fast.

Speaker: What is it? This is a diesel hybrid of a six maniac. Yeah, it's a gas tank for a sex machine. I know. Yeah, that looks pregnant. I'm Tony D. Happy Pride Month. Jeff, stand up. Fuck you. I am not that big, motherfucker. I'm not even sucking it in. Glick, we've seen you with your shirt off. Sit back down. Yeah, I've seen that. I don't need to say that. I am not that big.

Speaker: You know what? There you go. That's the spirit. That's me pushing. That's me pushing. I'm going to push you back out. Get back in. That's the hard part.

Speaker: Yeah, Tony's gonna go throw up now. Tony's gonna go throw up now. Tony's gonna go throw up now. Tony's gonna go throw up now. Tony's gonna go throw up now. Tony's gonna go throw up now. Tony's gonna go throw up now. Tony's gonna go throw up now. Tony's gonna go throw up now. Tony's gonna go throw up now. Tony's gonna throw up now. Tony's gonna throw up now. Tony's gonna throw up now. Tony's gonna throw up now. Tony's gonna throw up now. Tony's gonna throw up now. Tony's gonna throw up now. Tony's gonna throw up now. Tony's gonna throw up now. Tony's gonna throw up now. Tony's gonna throw up now. Tony's gonna throw up now. Tony's gonna throw up now. Tony's gonna throw up now. Tony's gonna throw up now. Tony's gonna throw up now. Tony's gonna throw up now. Tony's gonna throw up now. Tony's gonna throw up now. Tony's gonna throw up now. Tony's

Speaker: worse what worse what is Tony we we we agreed to do the show we're gonna do the show shirtless Chris and I show up fucking shirtless Chris and I show up fucking shirtless somebody's over there going oh we're actually doing this motherfucker that wasn't me it was your fucking idea you were no that wasn't yours it was my it was big dog's idea but it he's like wait we're actually doing this yeah uh i love him regardless he's he's a little goofy at times but that's my dude

Speaker: Don't, don't, don't, first and foremost, don't ever challenge. It's the whole attitude. Glick. I got an idea. I'm putting in our application for amazing race, by the way, boys. Uh, Tony, I don't think you would do amazing race, but we're getting ready to break.

Speaker: But that brings me back. That brings me to a topic I had for tonight, courtesy of a man from the lazy ass podcast. He was he popped into the chat last night during my show. It was hanging out and bullshitting. But Tony, you won't even go camping with me. What the hell makes you think I'm going to believe you're going to do the amazing race?

Speaker: first and foremost, I would never leave you in the fucking woods. If you die, you got no choice. If I'm about to die, you ain't gonna have no choice. That's not technically me leaving you in the woods. Your spirit will leave your body. That's don't worry. My ghost will come back and I'll be your spirit guy. Like a jimmy cricket, like a little white jimmy cricket.

Speaker: I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker: My bad, sorry. Oh, shit. I would never leave you in the fucking woods, Tony, do you? Out your damn mind. You're a practical jokester, I don't trust you. No, in all seriousness, but here's the thing. When doing the Amazing Race, there's no incentive to leave you behind.

Speaker: Exactly. That's the point. There's money on the line. So where I would hire a bunch of fucking inbred rednecks just to That's what I know. No, I'm not going to. What the fuck? We got to get out of here. I'd scope out the gas station and hire a couple people inbred rednecks.

Speaker: We want these two guys to take these cars. Tony, we gotta stop and get gas. Have the old man come out and go.

Speaker: where you fellers going camping that, huh? I ain't got no bullets for the woods. I admit that. You're doing the amazing race. You're doing the amazing race. There's no incentive to leave anybody behind. If anything, it's like, hey, let's hurry up and fucking move. Oh, it's teamwork. Yeah. Right. You have to. And that's how and that's how this challenge is. They put you up in teams, but every season has a different theme behind it. Like this one is

Speaker: Spies, allies, and something. Spies, allies, and allies. What is it? Spies, lies, and allies. Yeah, spies, lies, and allies. I'm 3 ,000 miles away, and I heard her clearing you. I'm dead. Oh, yeah, I forgot. I don't know what else you want me to tell you. I'm dead. Fair enough. Wait, what?

Speaker: Lies, lies, and allies. Wait, so somebody's on your team trying to fuck you over? No, no, no, no. You have your teammates, but whoever wins the challenge basically gains immunity. Well, like this season, typically the elimination challenge or whatever, however it works,

Speaker: Um, you have two teams up against each other or one team. And if whatever, if two teams, and if they don't complete it or one person versus one person, now you, you, but whatever, but the people who win the challenge. So the house votes on who is going to the layer for elimination, but the people who win the challenge as a little spin, they get to pick the other two and it doesn't have to be a team. They just pick two people, a man and a woman.

Speaker: And then if whoever wins the elimination, then can either go back to like say the two that were chosen to go down by the team at immunity, they can either go back to their original partners or they new partners. So you still have that team based thing, but it changes up like every damn episode.

Speaker: Oh, wow. So say like the team that the team that wins chooses two new partners. Well, those people who lost their partners, they automatically become partners so you can get how much money they make of reality TV to keep this. You could be part of it. You can't even fucking stand. So it's like it'd be like Tony with us. Oh, yeah. I mean, so. Yeah, we had, you know,

Speaker: I do like that aspect of certain reality shows where most reality shows, as we've discussed, are 100 % so goddamn fake. But when it's a challenge like that, some things you obviously can't fake.

Speaker: right. You know, if somebody's a terrible shot at trying to make a basketball. Oh, yeah. Today was like an obstacle course. And the last part of it, you had to do a solve a math problem to see if that you had to give your partner. Oh, I'm fucked. There was this there was this cat. He was from fucking Russian or dating Dutch. It was Warsaw shore.

Speaker: Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah. So it's like a Jersey Shore, but in Warsaw, but it was totally different whole ass, different. This motherfucker was like, I dropped out of high school. I don't know how to do math. Like he legitimately could not solve this math problem. That'd be me. I can't get to 11 without taking my shoes off. A lot of people to even graduated college and they don't go to math. Yeah. And I'll say that shit.

Speaker: What was the math problem? What was the math problem? I don't know. It was, it was five plus two or something. No, it was, no, it was, it was like, it was like 100 times eight divide a plus. Oh, it was complicated. Divided by blah, blah, blah minus. Uh, so it was, it was one of those long, uh,

Speaker: equations. Okay. Yeah. With the parentheses and all that stuff. I did see something on TikTok the other day. You know how the people go around and they're like, what's your, you know, can you name this country? And they turned it upside down. It was literally the United States and there was like 12 people that could not answer it. Huh. Huh. Please excuse my dear aunt Sally. Is all you need. Plus,

Speaker: Yeah, parentheses first. So on and so forth. Oh, is that one of those? I don't know. Yeah, it's an onomatopoeia. Do you see what I'm dealing with? They don't even know the fuck you just said. No, it's an onomatopoeia. No, parentheses, exponents, multiplication, division, addition, subtraction, in net order. Yeah, no, I didn't do any of that stuff. I just know how math works. I can do math. I mean, in seventh grade, I was taking high school math.

Speaker: So math has always been my strong point. Granted, 90 to 8 % of the math that I learned in high school never in my life. Yeah. Oh, do you remember the teachers back in day when they're like, you won't always have a calculator with you. What's this? Right. I wish I could go rub it in their faces. The biggest thing that helped me with math for what I've done pretty much my entire life has been fractions.

Speaker: Right. Because, you know, we're cutting something is feet, six inches and a quarter or an eighth or, and I have to subtract and try to figure out how long something needs to be or a door jam or, you know, a window or however, or wire fucked me up was, was that there was one of those like story problems where they're like, if Bill has a case of

Speaker: x whatever x was you know bill has a case of of bottles of water if bill has and and he and there's there's it's this many rows deep does how much how many is in a case i'm like it's 24 depending on what it is it's 24 or 12 for beers no it's like a case of a case of oil is 12 k 12 bottles or a case of beer is 24

Speaker: And Tony, Tony Diaz for eight beers. How many beers does Glick have? Twenty -four. Fuck that bitch. He has twenty -four and a sad friend. Check your exponents, coefficients and subscripts. I have YouTube now, bitch. I can. Amen to that. You really can learn anything and everything on. I told you guys we had we when when we had our minivan

Speaker: there was a relay switch or whatever that went bad. And even though there was a warranty on the fucking minivan, the dealership wanted to charge us $600. My ex wife went on Amazon. It was a little, it was a little, it was a little chip type thing. She went on Amazon, bought one for six bucks, got on YouTube and figured out how to change it. Dude,

Speaker: I saw something on YouTube the other day. This guy, he's got a brand new Lamborghini. And the turn signal light, the side marker, it was cracked. It was cracked. Lamborghini wanted $200. Volkswagen, which actually makes the part, $2. Yeah. The exact same part.

Speaker: When I first started working where I work now, we had, um, what we think was our fire panel got hit by a lightning strike. So it fried the motherboard. Oh yeah. The company said it was going to take a month before it, which, or more to get the, get the new motherboard in. And it's like, we can't do that because we have to have 24 seven fire watch. So we're paying a security company to just sit in the lobby 24 seven. So my boss, so I found the exact freaking fire panel.

Speaker: ordered it. It got there like a day or two. And it was just bored out of it and put it in the existing plug it in. Yeah, it was a plug and play and updated everything. Yeah. And it's things like that that like the first thing I do when I'm when something it breaks, it's like going to YouTube, look up the model number, look up what it is, the error code, whatever it is. And within minutes you'd be like, okay, that's what I need.

Speaker: I did see something the other day, a, uh, there's a guy, he, he, he literally goes around and picks up people's junk. Yeah. Tony Diario and your second meal in the first hour of the show. But he literally, his buddy called him, he says, Hey, my neighbor just put a dryer or a wash. Yeah. No. Yeah. Dryer out in the, uh, front yard. He's, he's thrown it away.

Speaker: The guy got it home, went and picked it up, took it home, turned it on, and it worked. But it had a ticking noise. And he's like, oh my god, I know what this is. There was a pen in the dryer fan. You know how many times when I worked at Aaron's, and we would have to go on Service Friends. So I got to learn a lot about fixing appliances and shit like that when I worked at Aaron's. I can't tell you how many times we would get a call about a brand new washroom dryer. It's making a weird noise.

Speaker: Yeah, there's a there's a turn it on. Alright. Open the back of it. There was a **** coin or a marble or somebody's pocket. It was banging. It was like, is it me or is that just a lack of common sense on people? I think people just use appliances and don't know how to work. I'm gonna save a whole lot of people money right now. If you're drier,

Speaker: What's the word I want to say? Say you're closed on drying your dryer. It's not hate. What I do is go to the side of the fucking house, clean that vent out right there. Yep. That's plan one. Get your hanger. Open them little flaps. Clear that lint out. Make sure you get a little bit of air. Go back in the house. Turn your dryer on. If them three flaps don't open, there's a lint. Put a hanger in it and move it. Let it go. Watch the school all fly out. Because mine was like, I didn't know what the hell was going on. I just went back there one day. I said, oh, shit. OK, do it.

Speaker: And that's probably what's wrong while your lip screen won't go all the way down. Well, not only that, not only that, but I mean, you know, a lot of times, you know, a heater, a dryer won't be drying properly. It won't be heating up. And it's the heating element. Those things are super easy to fix. Oh my God. I can do it with my sleep. Yeah. And you call a service technician out or, or what, and I'm guilty of this shit myself. That's why I buy new cars. I don't want to fuck with them.

Speaker: That's why I buy old cars because I like you know, I buy new cars Keep them for a few years and there's a warranty on them and it's completely covered bumper to bumper The only thing I have to handle is the maintenance oil changes tires, you know I actually had a teacher explain to me one day says he because I we were having the argument that you and I had a while back of What is better buying a new car an old car?

Speaker: If you actually look at it, if you get a new car for a decent price and your payment's not too bad and it just pump with a bumper, it's about the same as much as you buy a clunker for $500 and have to keep throwing money at it. Hey, what's going on, cash cash? What's going on, buddy? The difference is you don't know when the clunker is going to need more money. And your new car, you know when it's going to need more money. Yeah. No, exactly. But, you know, that's what, you know, I might pay a little bit extra.

Speaker: for this or that. But I don't have to worry about anything. If something happens to my car, I don't have to worry about it. The warranty I have on my car now, it's bumper to bumper. Everything's covered. It includes roadside assistance. It includes towing. If I run out of gas, I can go and get roadside assistance. You run out of gas, I have to punch you in the face. There's no reason to run out of gas ever. Yeah, no. But I'm saying, for instance, it does happen. Right.

Speaker: you know, never happened to me. Uh, it's happened to me a couple times, but I had a, but on your Bronco, the gas gauge didn't work. So that doesn't count. Not my Bronco, my Bronco that worked. Uh, but I did have a truck a few years later. It was a 77 F 100. Yep. That'll do it. It just didn't work in it. So, and it would always say like a quarter. You're like, we're good. I had to,

Speaker: I purposely ran it out of gas one, when I, when I first got it, just to see how many miles I got to a full tank. Right. Right. Right. I've done that. I had to, which I had a five gallon thing of gas in the back. So I did that on purpose so that I can calculate it roughly about how many miles I got, but I mapped on once and it ran out on me when I was on my way to work. But again, I had a five gallon. I always kept a five gallon. When you buy a used vehicle in there.

Speaker: for a year and never got used when I would go get it and then I would refill the can. Yeah. Yes. You'd have that on me once or twice. Um, but like the, when you buy a used vehicle, there's three things you always need to have in the trunk, a two liter bottle of water or a gallon jug of water and a freeze.

Speaker: uh jumper cables and extra oil and extra transmission fluid pretty much you always need and and fuses fuses are fucking oh yeah yeah but i don't i don't have to i don't have to worry about that and a penny will work in a pinch don't i don't i don't have to worry about that stuff anymore like i said we're inside towing um part of the part of the warranty that i have it covers a loaner car so something's wrong with my car and that's cool though

Speaker: Um, you know, they're going to have it for three or four days and, and with it, I can take it to any car max, which is where I bought it from, or because it's a Chevy, I can take it to any Chevy dealership. No matter if I'm down here in Florida and it breaks down, I, and there's a car max down there. I can go there or I can go to a Chevy dealership in Florida and they'll fix it. Yeah. And then it only costs me an extra $15 a month on my car paint.

Speaker: So I get all this, I get all this assurance and all this protection. What do you, what do you pay a month? MP car for a measly $15 extra on my car payment. What, what, what, what, what ballpark figure? What's your, what's your car payment? Uh, it's, it's, it's like four 60 something a month. That's not terrible. No, I went in there. I wound up when I swapped my cruise in.

Speaker: And you got a lot back on your cruise. Like, I'm still shocked on that. Dude, why do you think I bought that Equinox? Yeah. Well, they told me how much they were going to give me. You started looking at upgrades. You're like, well, that one looks nice. Because I had a couple other dealerships. Like, every dealership told me they were only going to give me like three grand for it. I'm like, that's not even going to pay it off, bro. Yeah. These motherfuckers gave me 12 -6 or something like that.

Speaker: I only paid 14 .5 for it. And I had the car for four years. You got over it. Right? And when he first got the Equinox, he was talking about, you can't tell me cars lose value. That's a fluke. That doesn't happen every day. It's not a fluke. The economy that we're in now, dealers are expensive right now. They want used cars. Now, the one dealership that I went to that was only going to give me like three grand, they were jackasses.

Speaker: I mean at the end of the day they were jackasses because most places was offering me most places were offering me anywhere from eight to ten for my car. I just didn't find anything that I liked or there wasn't really anything on the lot that I liked and then I found three equinoxes that I really liked

Speaker: when I was there with trading this in. So it was just a matter of, you know, the one that I really wanted, they were holding for somebody, but, but no, I mean, I have the gap insurance. So that's an additional, but I told him, I said, I want it less than $500 a month. Uh, but I have the gap insurance. So that, that charges you extra vegetables. Tony's dinner report. Mm -hmm.

Speaker: You know you don't leave nothing behind.

Speaker: top what you reach bone, Tony, of your fingers. But then I got the, it's a seven year extended warranty. And like the guy told me at Carmax, because I told him, I said, I'm going to keep this car for three, maybe four years. He was like, fuck your warranty won't even be up by the time you trade it in. And it wasn't based on mileage either. It's a straight seven year warranty. That's not bad. So the ones are based on mileage. Then you got to start doing mileage math.

Speaker: Like when my dad first bought my dad in, in 99, my dad bought his first brand new truck ever. It had like 12 miles on it.

Speaker: Yeah. Oh, he got that brand new. And when he's, instead of buying it, he bought, he got, he leased it. And it came with a mileage thing, right? You don't want to put somebody miles on a year. 20 ,000 a year or something. And I was like, dude, I can put 20 ,000 miles on a vehicle. Well, and I think that was the other thing that really, you know, helped me with my cruise is I bought my cruise. I only put like 65, 70 ,000 miles on it in the four years that I had it. That's why I retained his value.

Speaker: Yeah, well, and I know you you're not you're not one to beat on a vehicle either. Yeah, no, I don't. I don't. Yeah, I know. But I mean, like it like if you're cutting the grass or something, you're going to make sure you move the car before you mow around it. Well, I'm not going to. Yeah, I'm not going to go that far. But man, I don't I don't do anything. You know, I'm not you don't use it as a table saw, you know, or burning the tires off. I'm not driving over curbs and

Speaker: Wait, what's wrong with turning the tires off? Fuck you. Well, yeah, I'm still filming. Some of us have since, and some of us don't. What's going on, like? And I don't. We've established that. We've established that, trust me. But I try to take care of my car. I try to keep the oil changes up, keep the tires, the regular maintenance, so the normal wear and tear. But I also don't do things that's going to,

Speaker: You know, like I got a little aggravating my crews because after the accident and I got it back, you know, a friend of mine who actually went to school with us, uh, that owns, uh, you remember blue ball automotive? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I took it there. So Travis took care of me and he was like, you got some scratches and dings, which were already in the car. Right. He was like, since this other insurance company's paying for it.

Speaker: We're gonna get those little dings and stuff out, but we're gonna repaint the car. Do you wanna keep it silver or what color do you want it? I said, no, I like the silver. So they repainted the whole car. And then like five months, six months afterwards, the kids all through their book bags on the hood, on the front hood, and then they drug them off. That's a dead kid. That's a dead child right there, I'm sorry.

Speaker: where I was staying at the time, also a person had a bunch of fucking cats and they would walk and just claw the whole fucking hood up. And I went to Travis and I asked him, I said, hey man, how much is this gonna cost? He's like, don't worry about it. I'll give you a loaner for a couple hours and I'll just knock it out for you. So it didn't charge me anything. They basically just took the hood off, repainted and threw it back on. Silver is a very easy color too.

Speaker: If it was black or something like that, it is a pain in the ass. I painted the Malibu four times. And the last time I put it in the black and pink, and the black is still to this day, I look at it, sometimes they're going, I missed this spot. You know the hardest pink job when I had my escalator was white diamond. And I had to get a bumper. He said it would take a couple of hours.

Speaker: It took him long. He said, dude, I had no idea it was going to be this difficult to paint it similar to you. I said, yeah. It's pearl. It's the pearl. Pearl is a big. Exactly, gold fork, it is. Pearl and candy have to be sprayed differently than a regular base coat. I painted cars for years. When you do a pearl, like, OK, when you do around the wheel arches, when you're doing regular paint, you just do this. Yeah.

Speaker: black, white, pink, I don't want to push it. But Pearl, you have to go across. You have to keep that constant stay stream across. And candy is even harder. Candy is the bane of every painter's existence. Yes. But they look pretty. No, I've decided when I get my Colorado, I'm going to get away from silver finally. And Chevy has a really cool blue. That blue is gorgeous.

Speaker: Yeah, I want black, black is nice, but, and, and you, it wouldn't be really a big problem for you. It makes the interior of the car warmer. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we're both started. It gets, I mean, dude, it gets hot here in Ohio. No, no, compared to here, I would, I would kill for Ohio weather right now. I went to the store today and I came back.

Speaker: I'm talking 20 minutes, round trip. I came back and looked like I had just gotten out of the fucking pool. Yeah. You're near the fucking equator. I mean, yeah. Thank you, Captain. In the summertime, when you get 9 million fucking degrees in there, regardless of the Mexico, everybody wants to be in the winter. That's why I have, and the same for the winter, that's why I have remote start. Well, December here is like July there.

Speaker: Yeah. Yes. When I go to leave, I go ahead and start my car. So, if it's summertime, the AC's already kicking. Yeah. And if it's wintertime, the heat's already kicking. So, when I get in it, I'm happy. Yeah. You know? I'm always happiest in a car anyways. Yeah. But. There's only one other place I'm happier and that's inside. That was, that was, sorry, that was a mic joke.

Speaker: And it's time for a break. Anyway. We're going to take a break. Gentlemen, I have music for you. Oh. From the videos you were playing with? What's that? The videos you were playing with before we started? Well, the one we've played. Okay. Matt James, his first single, solo single. Way too strong, which I'm going to play that in the next break. But Matt has put out, he has another one that came out a week or so back. I've just been kind of delayed.

Speaker: um called he's got another new solo single but he's got one dropping tonight at midnight at matt james on youtube met singer blacktop mojo he's got a new song dropping tonight at midnight called runaway but this one dropped uh last week or something like that and it's called wait it out it's his second second song off of his uh solo album a little bit uh slower um

Speaker: But I really like it. Hopefully you guys will like it. Go ahead and check out BlacktopMojo on all social media and wherever you stream music at BlacktopMojo. And check out Matt James on all social media and where you stream music. And we will be back in a few minutes.

Speaker: Damn, how's this rain on the rooftop? I'd give anything for the clouds to break The weatherman says that it won't stop The same shade of green just a different day I'm going crazy, stuck in this house Climbing the walls and screaming out loud

Speaker: I'm just tryna wait

Speaker: There's my worth in me I'm praying for this ill -winding Still soaking the storm that you left me in Trying to wait it out The bottom fell out when you stormed out I ain't seen the sun since you drove away

Speaker: Oh, we made it through the night Damn, it's been comin' down I ain't really safe inside They say the memories will eventually But in the meantime, my mind is my worst enemy I'm prayin' for

Speaker: I ain't got nothing but time on my hands Since I don't know when it ends I'm just gonna wait

Speaker: I'm just trying to find a way out

Speaker: I like that one. And we are back. Welcome back to Nonsense Go Nonsense, everybody. Got Tony D in the building. Mr. Finger lickin' good himself. You're the one, Sam. Pookie.

Speaker: That was Matt James, lead singer of Black Top Mojo with his second solo single. I liked it. Like I said, this solo album is a little bit more slower than we're used to with Black Top Mojo, but I really like it. It's got more of a... It's almost like a ballad thing. Yeah, he's got like a rock country blues. I mean, he still has his style of music. Like a Tennessee whiskey guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chris Stapleton.

Speaker: Thank you. Oh, I really like it. What you laughing at, pookie? I haven't even started drinking yet. I gotta get up. Okay. What's, what's, what's, what's, what's going on? What's so funny? Is it, is it scary that two white guys can make you laugh?

Speaker: Well, while he's doing that, it's not even white people is making me laugh right now. Ooh. It's on the black folks now. Haha. You racist bastard. There are more than two different races on the planet. I'm a racist bastard. I didn't even say anything. Who said you? I'm like the worst racist on the planet. Yes, you are. I'm a terrible racist. I take it back. You're not as bad as Steve Bannon. Let's take it back. Although my dogs are white.

Speaker: Anyways, anybody can ask me for nonsense, everybody. If you're not already, go ahead and walk out of the way background, because you don't know how to fuck that. Yes, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok. Join us live Monday. He's been following for the past year. He tells y 'all every damn episode. And then he blames us for not putting the information out, as well as he does. So y 'all follow, like, share, subscribe, drop a comment in the comments, even reply afterwards on the replay. Jesus.

Speaker: I see his face again. Wow. He's so mad. He started doing his own show. You know, it's a YouTube at 27 PM. Let's do it on Spotify. Go check us out. Good as far. Give us a like. Give us a share. God damn it. Yeah. I mentioned that. I mentioned that a couple of times on my show. I was like, finally, I can just fucking talk and not get interrupted.

Speaker: I heard you say that shit last night. I was laughing. I was going to say a comment. I said, nah, let me let him finish. I want to watch how many times he built to the last set himself. I told him he wants to talk about something. Well, you know, I will say this much. The first half hour of the show was 20, 30 minutes was dog shit last night. I'm not happy with it, but I'm my own worst critic. That's a good, you know what?

Speaker: That's a good thing. When you are your own worst critic, that's how you make yourself. You're my own worst critic. Yeah, that goes in the deeper issues. I was kind of in a tailspin, kind of like my man Maverick and Goose. And I was like. Did you just compare yourself to Maverick and Goose? Yeah, I was in a tailspin. Oh.

Speaker: I didn't compare myself to Maverick and Goose. I said, like Maverick. They caught the tailspin. They got caught in the jet wash. Yeah. But either way, so I was like, I don't take breaks on my show. You must be crazy. Let me take a break. Let me reset. So I took a break. I reset and I came back in the last hour.

Speaker: hour and some change, almost hour and a half. I was happy with it. You know what? Fuck this shit. This is your every episode. I mean, you know, shut this shit up. What the fuck you want to talk about every goddamn night?

Speaker: Here's, here's Tony D every episode. Holy shit. I thought it was Tony D. Look, listen, listen. I got something to say but listen to this music that ain't nobody ever heard of. Motherfucker and it'll be on the advertise Blacktop Mojo. Nothing to use them but I gotta go ahead and say this. I know people who listen to music like that. I know people all over the country. Nobody knows who the fuck that is.

Speaker: Wait, every post he got on every social media. Hi. Hi. Ladies and gentlemen, Glitz 2023 Pose. That reminds me, I got to download a video.

Speaker: I didn't realize how many times I would make a video on TikTok and I would start it going

Speaker: And then I got called out. And now I can't help myself. Now I... It's the whole thing. If you go to a basketball player and you say, did you know every time that you get ready to shoot a free throw, you bounce them all three times or something like that, they instantly go, fuck, now I got to do that. Well, that was in one of my TikTok lives years ago, a couple of years back.

Speaker: that was the basis of the conversation, was - Was you stroking your beard? We were talking about how I do the beard. And then we got to talking about how everybody that was in the - What their move was, when they would make a video. Oh, okay, okay, okay. You're like one of my friends, one of my friends, Bunny, she always had like her hair a certain way. For every - You don't have a move. Maybe that's why my videos suck.

Speaker: your videos suck because you're stupid. I stare at the screen and just I'm talking to the people. I'm not talking to myself. I'm talking to myself. I've seen five years old, five year olds. This is Jeff All episode. The hell are you talking about? I'm looking at my, I have two screens. I'm relaxed, chill, having conversations, just chatting away and

Speaker: And in the chatters box, they came in and we're, we're having some fun. And, uh, but I spent most of the last episode, almost the entire, just like this, just relaxed. I can't, I can't sit like this with you guys. You really do. I mean, I thought I talked to myself. You got me beat dog.

Speaker: Oh, I'll talk to myself all fucking. Oh, no, no. My bet. Myself is my best friend. I talk to myself all day. I will talk to my, especially, especially because it's a way for me to, and Tony only calls me racist. Now there's two white dogs in here. You do the same thing, Tony D. When you do your, when you do your stuff by yourself, it's a way for us to vent. When we got stuff on, I said, yes. Yeah. When we got stuff on our minds, we can't always do that in a group setting, whether it's here or.

Speaker: Ted or or smoke or or whatever. But if you're doing a show by yourself and you got shit on your mind and you got shit you want to talk about. Nobody has done it. That's one of the reasons why I criticize before I came on before I met you all when I was doing my own face with lives, I would vent and I'll go about our max. And I've seen especially when I was upset or I was hurt like when I lost a family member or a friend or whatever. I've done those just reminiscent of talking but

Speaker: I would always tell people, even when I did that, I was talking to the people and giving the message to them because people will pop up. I knew who was going to come in. I knew who would see it. When we do this now, we're global. And I always tell a lot of folks, nobody wants to see you talk to yourself, but apparently some people do. I think I was wrong. You know, people do. And, you know, the biggest thing, and this is one, this is one of the things that I learned. And that's what I told Jeff.

Speaker: when we started this show that I didn't want to lose and I don't want to lose no matter how big we get. I know of the chatters box. I'm getting them involved in having them as well. What to hell with you. I'm taking credit for you looking at the audience now. I'm going to do my thing. I mean, I let you if you don't like it, there's more. I want to leave. Leave great feelings. Hey, how you doing? Hey, how you doing?

Speaker: That was my that was my whole when I was on periscope and when I was on tiktok that was that was that was the main thing was Yeah, that was that that was something we talked about day one was was you know, if people don't want to watch the show Well, there's other shit you can watch on the internet. No, this is the truth I mean as as like Marcus said before marks no G of random random

Speaker: uh busted rubber has been in here he said and people that knew me on periscope or knew me from tiktok that's what they've all said i can carry on 20 different conversations with the chat easily easily but i i kept them in our i can't read the question wasn't going to be 100 solely dedicated to the chat but i still wanted the chat there and i wanted them interacting with us and i enjoyed them interacting with us and hanging out with us i think it's fun

Speaker: Well, it also gives you feedback about how the show's going. Will you guys stop? And again, Ted asked me last night when we were... I put Ted on a guilt trip last night.

Speaker: It was so pathetic. It really was so pathetic. I didn't watch it. I was busy. I was going to watch and I was going to comment and possibly jump up. But when you first went live, I was like, wait, what fucking day is it? You did the same thing, didn't you, Tony? You're like, fuck, what? No, what's crazy is people don't want to broadcast to me. The first thing they ask me is, what time are you in the analysis connosis podcast? And I'm like, you motherfuckers.

Speaker: I've been telling y 'all Monday, Wednesday, Saturday. That's a compliment, Tony. No, I know that. I said, I'm going to tell y 'all Monday, Wednesday, Saturday for a year now. They'll ask me on a Tuesday. They'll ask me on a Thursday. They assume I'm up here every night. My kids ask me the same thing every day. Oh, yeah. My kids do the same thing. And I'm like, really? Yes, you're up here a lot, motherfucker. This is a job. I am now. I mean, I want community service. I was for this shit. This might exonerate somebody.

Speaker: shit. I don't know we're exonerating anybody but apparently we are but um no uh you know like Ted asked me last night he said what's what's it like doing a show but on your own well me doing a show on my own is nothing new to me right but what were the differences that what is new to me is I'm actually doing a show I I typically

Speaker: yesterday being the exception. I typically try to come up with an idea. And I have a thought and I prepare myself so I can come in and get through the introduction, the rigmarole bullshit, blah, blah, blah, but then roll into my topic that I want to talk about. Last night, not so much. And like I said, I started into a tailspin. I fuck I got to reset myself. And I started talking about a future episode that I wanted to do after vacation. And it kind of turned into

Speaker: that broadcast last night. You felt the flow after that. Once you got a couple things off the mind, he was able to go exactly. So which I mean, I still want to do that broadcast a little bit more in depth and and whatnot. But.

Speaker: But I also put it out there. These are my opinions and I share a lot of my personal stuff too. So like things I've been through and things I've gone through, these are my opinions. Don't take this as gospel. Don't take this as facts. This is just me putting my thoughts and opinions out there. But I make that very clear so that somebody can't come back and go, well, Glick said

Speaker: Yeah, I said it but I also didn't tell you to do it. I mean, I wish people remember how much **** they say. See, that information would have been good a long time ago. No, Jeff, I know you do things. Yeah, smell this rag.

Speaker: I've never told anybody about waking up in a tent. I appreciate it. Just my priest. But he was like, tell me more. The last thing you remember hearing was I can't. He woke up with a sore ass.

Speaker: I don't know. Tony's jealous. Let's see. He's getting jealous. The priest says, show us on the doll where he touched you. I don't know. I don't know. I'm never. I never went through that with any priest. I'm on the road the next minute. I woke up on a mountain side. You mother **** sound like you enjoy what you did that was wrong in life. That's all. Tony, Tony, it just sounds like you didn't live, sir. I lived.

Speaker: You only live once, Tony. Life is a game. It's time to play. We're living our best life. Don't forget, Tony, age is just a number. Apparently, an ass is just a hole with you two. Don't you forget it. All I need is a heartbeat, baby.

Speaker: You're a poor wife. You're a poor wife. Just saying, Tony, spell this right. No. You're the one, Danny. Just live. Live life. Boom. What? Take a chance, boy. No.

Speaker: take a chance. It's a great conversation starter to party. I'm just saying. You've never tried it, Tony. I don't want to. What does that comedian said at one time? He's like, yeah, it's not like eating a plate of food that I've never had before. You can't go back and put a dick in your mouth.

Speaker: Spawning in active development. About damn time. What is it? Spawn. Who's going to play Spawn? They've been talking about that shit for freaking... They have. What's the guy... They just recast Superman too, by the way. I saw that yesterday. I forgot the guy's name. Once you see who Superman was in the flesh, I know they were talking about it. I did not think they were actually going to do it. I don't know how I feel about it, honestly. It was a lady, wasn't it? No. That was Supergirl.

Speaker: Yeah, speaking of speaking of she needs her props too. By the way, the girl played Supergirl. She was kind of badass. She played that part pretty good. Yeah, she did. Why I keep getting news flashes from daily mail. I don't know why. Yeah, I don't know. Speaking of. People who like to put dicks in their mouths.

Speaker: Yeah, Olympics are in France. Uh. Coming up, we're just moving to. Again, people who like to put dicks in their mouth. Jesus, I'll take their mouth for 1000 Alex. This woman's husband died on their wedding day. It was Jeff. Hey, that's the only way to go. But how how how did he die? Tony who died?

Speaker: Some guy died on his wedding. He got married on Juneteenth. He collapsed on the way to take photos outside of the church. Oh, they didn't even get to consummate? Oh, that sucks. Jesus. Are you saying yummy to what I was just talking about? Married and died within 10 minutes. That's horrible. God damn.

Speaker: health problems that he knew he was going to die and so he wanted to get married before he died. I see some so I'm not sure how about he's a big cat. He was a big guy. Yeah. But yeah, this is what you didn't talk about. I'm going to ask you about this. You know Madonna went to the hospital. I saw that. I was actually going to bring that up. I don't know what happened, but she got rushed to the hospital. Have you seen Madonna lately? What the ****

Speaker: She was gorgeous back in the 80s. She kind of resembles little Kim. Yeah. Well, little Kim told done changed her whole damn race and ethnicity.

Speaker: I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

Speaker: whatever happened, the cute little gap tooth girl from who's that girl? Yeah, she she she turned herself into a friend. Yes, Helen. You heard that right. Ethnicity. These motherfuckers. She went from being black to Asian. She's not even she's not even that you do Twix. Not even blazer. Asian. Black and Asian. Oh god, a mercy. Alright, I'll put y 'all off. I'm sorry. I'll go ahead.

Speaker: but I'll give little Kim credit. She's still kind of cute. Madonna is not anymore. Madonna looks like a monster. Well, what happened to Madonna that literally did yoga every day all day and was fucking like 60 and bit as fuck? Who? Madonna. When she first started dating and married Guy Ritchie, she was fucking fine as hell. There I go, man. That was like 10 years ago. No, it was longer than that.

Speaker: for more than 10 years. Oh, well, I don't know. I don't pay attention to the dollar most of the time. I mean, Courtney Cox did the same thing. I mean, she used to be really pretty back in the day and then she said, now, she looks like **** weird plastic surgery but **** Mickey Rourke did the same thing. Yeah, Mickey Rourke **** himself. He was good looking. He was a good looking cat back in the day but then he started having all this weird plastic surgery and **** Well, here's my

Speaker: Money, not an object. Would you get a production surgery? No, no, no, it's not. There's nothing wrong with getting with getting old aging. That's not what Madonna did. Madonna got all kinds of crazy ass fucking plastic surgery. And now she looks like a monster. I can't lie about 10 years actually.

Speaker: Michael Jackson died about, what, 10 years ago? Something like that. I kind of remember how she looked back then. She did not know what she did now, and I know what she was aging. I understood the aging process. She looks kind of like she's been spilled with something. That's how she looks compared to how she looked a decade ago. Yeah, it looks like some of the ejector was something. Like she got sprung by a bee. You know, some kind of reaction, this motherfucker. Yeah. When she first showed her face after this new transition of what she's doing,

Speaker: on TikTok. Everybody's like, that's Madonna. I was like, bullshit. That's not Madonna. Madonna's hot. That chick looks like she was beaten with a bat. Yeah, no, there's nothing wrong with aging and getting old. But she's had a lot of terrible plastic surgery. Yeah, you know, you know, I still I still find I still find like Carol Streep. And who's the other lady? Oh, oh, fuck. What's what's the

Speaker: Helen Mirren. Oh yeah, Helen. Helen Mirren's gorgeous. Yeah. And she's like 70. Yeah. Do you believe Curtis? I mean, I still think she... Yeah, you got a thing for her, though. Jamie Lee Curtis, she still looks good for her age right now, yes. I'm always happy. Yeah, I mean. Yes. It goes back to we little young, like... Curtis and Reba McIntyre have kind of always been... No, but you know what? Reba still look good, too.

Speaker: Yeah, but hers is I've never been a big like, Hey, Reba, how you doing? I've never been that guy, but I can appreciate that. She's a good looking woman. Yes, you can. Yes, you can. Yes, you can. Let me see what's on the one I like. What's that? What's that one chick I like? She was in that, uh, uh, she played Chuck and bride of Chucky. What's her name? Oh, I know who you're talking about. Um,

Speaker: Jennifer Tilly. Yeah, she's got a bunch of - She still looks good too. She's had a bunch of work too, but I mean - Yeah, but she's had it on her boobs, none of them else. She hasn't had it on her face. I would get maybe lipo. But unfortunately, to Leahy's point, 2009,

Speaker: you know, unfortunately, the people who set the quote unquote beauty standards are celebrities and they look like **** So, let's make those standards. You know, oh nine was when MJ died. I think he's right about

Speaker: I think actually, you know what? Somebody else just died. Celebrity. William Sands. Yeah. In front of reports, they found him in pieces. He got eaten. Well, maybe he knew something about the Clintons.

Speaker: Yeah, it was right before I went to the desert, Jesus, right? Because he died, Emmett Mann died, and I think it was one of Charlie's angels, I think it was Farrah Fawcett. Yeah, MJ died, Farrah Fawcett died. And Emmett Mann, Emmett Mann was right there, too. And then MJ died, and everybody forgot about Farrah Fawcett, because they died the same day. But I ain't going to lie, I was asleep. I thought it was a lie. I woke up, and I saw something.

Speaker: Man. Dude, there's a trend going through the internet of celebrity deaths. And then you find out - They've been doing that for a decade. They've been doing that for a decade, yeah. I saw one the other day, it was like Simon Cowell was shot on stage. It apparently wasn't true. Nailed it. Yes, agreed. Nailed it.

Speaker: Well trust me Madonna's not making me feel like anything. Yeah but the people who maybe she's making me celibate institutions behind it. People who are pushing the what is pretty or what is beautiful or what is what's supposed to be are worldwide celebrities and quote unquote models. They're advertisers they're not pushing it.

Speaker: They put Martha Stewart in the swimsuit edition. Hey, man. Yo, Martha. Martha ain't bad looking. I'm like, damn, Martha. Martha can cook too, boy. Let me tell you. You can get it. She got money. She can cook. She can decorate my house. Come on over, Martha. Shit.

Speaker: I was like, damn, is that really Martha Stewart? Like, what? That shit had me fucked up. Martha's, I don't give a fuck, kind of scares me. But I ain't mad at her. I'm not mad at her. Martha got that fuck you money, though. She got that fuck you money. Martha came out of jail and she was still cool. She was cooler. She was cooler. Like, she was a legitimate gangster.

Speaker: This is what you do when you go to jail. You get a shank. You find the biggest bitch in there. No, the fact that Martha Stewart's best friend is Snoop Dogg, I find hilarious. You know what's crazy? The best meme out there. One is a billionaire and one went to jail. Guess which one? It's not the black guy. I did.

Speaker: Well, you know, I ain't mad at Martha Stewart. She got fuck you money and... And everybody believes she went to jail over some BS. She's got Martha support on top of money. I ain't mad at her. Well, no, you know why Martha went to jail? Because she knew some shit she wasn't supposed to know and they just busted her for it. No, they used her as an example. Basically, she was busted for insider trading. She had her money in an account. Somebody said, hey, something's about to go down. She's like, well, we should move them. Yes.

Speaker: The same thing everybody else does. They want to change it up. Exactly. It's hey, look over here while we move billions over here. It is what it is. And I ain't mad at Martha. I bet you Martha's jail cell was cleaner motherfucker boy. And decorated nice. I bet she just made some hell of a toilet wine boy.

Speaker: But she has some good shit sent to her. Yeah. Well, do you think really Martha Stewart did real time though? I mean, she had it probably, probably. You did the time. Like her jail cell had like fucking Persian rugs and shit. You know, it was a nice. She did fed time, which isn't the best, but I don't know if she went through any BS.

Speaker: Yeah, if you and I went to jail for the exact same thing Martha Stewart went to jail for We would sit in jail cell sitting there with our dick in her hand But Martha sitting in there with you know fucking golden toilet because it's Martha You know she could get that shit in in because you know she got the money to do so I bet her commissary was never empty

Speaker: You know, she didn't go to an actual prison. She went to one of those. She went to a federal prison. White collar. Yeah, it's a white collar. Well, it's a white collar crime. Let's be honest. It's not like she murdered somebody. It's not like she fucking OJ. Yeah, she went. There's no question. Once you go, you go. It don't matter what the fuck you went to. Because 90 % of motherfuckers, I don't even want to be where she was at. But I guarantee you her going to jail helped her career.

Speaker: I think it gave her credit. And I guarantee you, there's cats going, hey, Martha went to jail. I'm gonna buy this Martha Stewart line of fucking towels and shit, because Martha's my girl. I think a lot of people came from the fact that she went down over some bullshit and everybody was against it, so they're gonna back her up now that she's out. That's all there is to it. Her little Kim, her little Kim went to jail for people, for crimes, people was like, nah, that's some bullshit.

Speaker: Well, little Kim was in jail for not snitching. Thank you. She did what her mama told her. Don't we tattletale on all the time? All right, Cat Williams. Thank you. Fuck you. That man speak truth. He didn't speak the truth. That's what you said. That's what Cat Williams reference you've made to me. I'll do it all night. I don't fucking care. I've seen that fucking video 400 ,000 times.

Speaker: He said, let me say it again. Little Kim went to jail for doing what her mama told her to do. Oh, by the way, Chris, did you see the lady? Are you serious? You haven't watched it yet, man?

Speaker: were you not present for the beginning of the goddamn show? Do you know how fucking busy you are? Fuck you. Fuck you. It was phenomenal. It was phenomenal. Yes. Thank you, Tony. It was phenomenal. It wasn't, it's, it's, it's Bert. It's, it's far fetched. At one point he likes a cigar off of somebody shooting a machine gun. It was funny. It was funny. And it's all my agenda. I want to watch it.

Speaker: It's called the machine. It's the movie. I'm busy being an Uber, an internet celebrity. So, watch it online, motherfucker. Well, you think I got time to watch it on the reaction video style. I think I got time for this. Do it on your show.

Speaker: Dude, I watched it during work. I laughed my ass off. Kevin watched it last night. Kevin came down. He says, dad, what? Kevin came up to my room and he's like, what's that? Where's the machine? And he's using my old laptop. I sent him a link. And I said, there you go. And he watched it last night. It came up. He comes up in the very beginning of the movie, Chris.

Speaker: first in therapy with his family. And he goes, he says, I haven't called any bit of the C word in a week. And Kevin comes running up to my room and goes, dad, what's the C word? And I was like, and I'm talking to my friend who's flying on garbage. And I'm like, it's Cunt. And she's like, dude, did you just say that? I'm like, yeah, he's heard it before across me. I mean,

Speaker: No, like I said, I'll get to it a bit. I don't have a lot of time to like sit down and watch TV or watch a movie unless it's in the evening time. But then I also don't think not everybody in the house wants to watch them as well. So I don't have a lot of time where I'm home by myself where I can, you know, like I could have sat down and watched it, but I had my show to do. I had to do the good show.

Speaker: I'm telling you, watch it while you're watching. Oh, dude, I. Himmel fucking knocked it out the park. Himmel knocked it out the park in that movie. And and Burt Burt held his own as an actor. Which movie is this? It's called The Machine. The Machine. It's the Burt Kreicher movie. It's in our Snapchat. It was on drink champs. I did see that. I got it. I know you said his name. That's the only one I saw. So I'm going to watch it because you keep talking about it.

Speaker: Dude you first have to watch the YouTube clip of him telling the story Because the whole movie is based on that story apparently. It's a true story. It's been confirmed by classmates and his teacher so it is a true story that that he technically robbed the train in Russia with the Russian mob and and basically the movie

Speaker: picks up it's it's nowadays he's quote unquote giving up comedy because he embarrassed his daughter and somebody comes by and says when you were robbing that chain train as a kid you stole my father's watch my father's the head of the mafia you're going to help me find the watch and uh Mark Himmel plays his dad so Luke Skywalker plays Burt Kreischer's dad and fucking Himmel knocked it out the fucking park

Speaker: not in his acting skills, not as playing Burt's dad. Obviously, nobody knows. Well, I don't know what Burt's dad looks like or acts like. But as the character of Burt's dad, he fucking killed it and he was hilarious. But it was it's not something that you're it's not John Wick, although it wants to be. It wants to be. No, because at one point he gets in like a fight with like 30 guys.

Speaker: And you're like, really? Bert's doing that? I don't know. But it's a parody, obviously. But it's very funny. It's not something I'm going to say it's going to be on my top 10 movies to watch. But it's definitely a it's not a disappointing movie. Right. But I literally saw on that, you know, I think that link for movies a while back, it was I was literally on there the other day.

Speaker: People put off here on my TV and I was like, oh look the machines out. I'm watching that and I watched it during work Gotcha call come in pause, you know Yeah, I was literally on phone calls Burke's hair and there was a shirt off trying to light a cigarette cigar I'm

Speaker: You can take my word for it or not. It was worth it. You say so. He's gonna say so. Well, like I said, it's not, it's not John Wick. It's not screaming for no fucking reason. It's funnier than Bert Crasher. What is?

Speaker: Leslie Jones, the black chick from Saturday Night Live, who's not funny by any means or anything. She used to be funny. She was uncommon. She was funny. She was not funny. She was funny. When they did that Ghostbusters movie and she was in it, she actually made the movie worse. I do not know. You did as well. No, no. Who's the other chick? The fat chick, the fat broad. He's funny. He is funny. He played a security guard in Soul Plane.

Speaker: Oh, I can't remember name. I can't stand her. Big woman. She's big girl. I gotta look it up, damn it. She's got an annoying as fuck voice too.

Speaker: I don't know. I'll tell your name. I have not seen it. So, I do not know. I'm making a sequel to the that Ghostbusters movie they did a couple years ago. I'm going to be a sequel. Monique. What was that first Ghostbusters? That was the afterlife or whatever. The one with the kids. No, not the life. They're they're they're that one. That was a good one though. I ain't going to lie.

Speaker: So, you put it together by yourself. Pretty good. You put it together by yourself. Where's the third one? Where's that third Ghostbusters? After all, the fourth one. The Ghostbusters girl movie. 2016. It was not. Listen McCarthy.

Speaker: No, no, the thing I'm talking about that I can't say and as Monique and Melissa McCarthy, she's a great actress. I know a lot. Yes, she's funny. She's a good. She's a great actress. And the girl that did the the when they when they did the girls Ghostbusters, the girl that played the version of Egon, I like her. I can't remember her name. You got Christine Wig. That's her. I find her is a wig or wig. I'm not sure. It's it's it's pronounced wig wig. OK.

Speaker: I found her oddly attractive. No, I get it. Born, she's a year younger than me, born in New York. Okay. I thought they did good in the act. The actor was fine in the movie. I know everybody was like, we wanted to see something come out of it. And they did. They changed it up a little bit. Your boy that played Thor, he rocked it. God, that motherfucker played that partner. I was like, whoa. Oh, Hemsworth? Yes. He was funny in it.

Speaker: He is a better actor than we give him credit for. He really is a better actor than we give him credit for. No, did you see the vacation movie that he was in? No, I saw the one his brother made that went out and I was there. No, there was a, no, there's a movie. Oh, you remember the National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation and the Chevy Chase movie? Yeah, that one. There is a remake. There's a continuation of that. That is, um, uh, what's, what's, uh,

Speaker: with uh ed helms plays a young an older rusty and and the girl from married with children the daughter from married with children plays his wife wow and it's called vacation and they stop by their cousin's place and their cousin is chris hamsworth dude is not getting the press is active he doesn't he doesn't get an approach

Speaker: Glick, what are you looking at? Nothing. Ordering food. What are you ordering? I'm hungry. Sonic? Ooh. I've had Sonic in a minute, dude. I had McDonald's last night. I had Subway tonight. I think I might do pizza tomorrow. I have leftovers. Y 'all should be proud. I'm the one who's not buying dinner tonight.

Speaker: I am proud of you, Tony. Good job. I'm always proud of you, Tony. Shut up. I'm so proud of you. Oh my god. This is the movie, Tony. Hold on. I'll send you. I'm going to send it to you on snap. But it's basically, it's the same concept as the first national and foods vacation movie.

Speaker: Oh, Walmart. What the fuck is a shoe? What the hell? Do we need to move back to the hood? What is it? I work here.

Speaker: I have a colleague messaging.

Speaker: I don't know why I'm using my computer when my fucking phone's back here. I'm gonna take a break. I was gonna say it's about that time. Yeah. Take a break real quick, move back here in a few minutes. I got another Matt James, his first solo song. Way too strong. Again, check out Matt on all them social medias at Matt James. And check out BlacktopMojo on all social media at BlacktopMojo. Go show the guys some love.

Speaker: Black Shop Mojo is currently working on their new album, and Matt is working on his solo album. So busy guys. We'll be back here in just a few minutes.

Speaker: Broken picture frames From all I asked in days Spread out on the floor A movie I can't watch no more Happy I stood through A man that once used to Break the sun But now no one is here

Speaker: Your memory's way too strong So I keep drinking through the pain I tryna know me like no decay But this hurt is still not gone Your memory's way too strong

Speaker: So I keep drinking to the bay

Speaker: We're not these photographs Cause it's the only thing that I am That keeps me from moving on That memory's way too strong I keep drinking through the pain And trying to numb it like no one can Listen, it's still not gone Your memory's way too strong

Speaker: I ain't mad at that one either. That was a decent song. I wasn't mad at all. Somebody's off holding his little boy penis. But welcome back to Nonsense Go Nonsense, the funniest podcast you've never heard of.

Speaker: We are live. It is the third and final hour. Well, maybe not but we are live on Twitter Twitch. Hey, YouTube. Uh and of course, you can catch all old episodes on Spotify, YouTube, everywhere you find your podcast. There he comes. I'm vamping here but it's working.

Speaker: You were vamping. I don't know what that means. You don't know the definition of vamping. You're just - Welcome to hour number three, ladies and gentlemen. Any problems, issues, complaints, or concerns, email the podcast at nonsense .com, nonsense podcast at gmail .org. We're live on Facebook. We're live on Twitch. Twitter. YouTube. Vamping.

Speaker: We got all the Spotify and audio podcast platforms. Follow us. It was over talking to me in control. Jeff couldn't finish his sense because he got distracted and I am dummy. Sookie is mine. Oh, I love his life.

Speaker: I finished True Blood again. Oh, the social media is at nonsense. Well, nonsense podcast and oh, the podcast platforms at nonsense. Well, nonsense podcast. Go fucking follow him, you sons of bitches. Like him and fucking share him if you know it's good for you.

Speaker: Fucking do what I said you what? Wait, wait, didn't you just say like an hour ago? I told people to do stuff. I didn't actually mean to have to do it. Well, this I mean this I mean Listen here. No wonder why people don't follow you Yeah, I mean people follow me people love me this don't like YouTube You know just because you've like 45 fake accounts

Speaker: I have 40 accounts. Shut up. I'm not the one who put my most recent TikTok video on replay for the last 24 hours, Jeff. Thank you for the

Speaker: I want to thank you for the uh it got me crunked sir. I got crunked watching it. I was like hello daddy. Daddy daddy. It reminded me of high school baby.

Speaker: I'd like to pull a Luke Anakin Luke Skywalker and cut him open and climb right inside that big. It would have brought me right back to high school if I'd had chloroform on my hand. I'm the same. Ladies and gentlemen, if you're watching this and Tony D's ever on your show and you want to make him feel uncomfortable, talk about homosexual activity. Yeah.

Speaker: No, just mention me being on his podcast. He will get extremely uncomfortable. This is the most unhomophobic, homophobic guy I've ever met in my life. I'm not homophobic, I just don't advertise. I said you're unhomophobic. Unhomophobic, homophobic. Gentlemen, I want to ask you something.

Speaker: I'm all ears. When you go to like sporting events or concerts or whatever, do you enjoy a ice cold, tasty alcoholic beverage or six? Are you advertising? I have to answer the question. Speaking of advertising and drinks, we do have one in the works. I actually have to put the ads together and stuff. Oh, a drink? I do like drinks.

Speaker: but not an alcoholic drink, but a drink that you drink too much alcoholic beverages. Ooh, it's called liquid IV. Is that like the liquid depth stuff? No, you put it into your, you mix it in with your water or whatever, but it's supposed to hydrate you like 10 times faster than regular water. You know, I could use that. Nikki knows all about it and she loves it.

Speaker: And I got the offer today, this afternoon, our first sponsor. So I just got to put everything together, do the ads and all that jazz. Accept it, all that fun stuff. Do we get free bottles? Because I could use them. It's not bottles. It's a powder. Oh, well, that's the problem. I don't drink enough water. But you mix it with your water.

Speaker: know, I don't drink water. So, I drink Coke. So, or your vodka as Nikki does. Yeah. My leader of Cola. Leader of Kohler. But no, I was actually, I was actually going somewhere with this god damn it. No. Well, go ahead. I'm curious. Oh, so like when you go to an event like at a concert or a sports event, do you

Speaker: drinks or whatever where you might have one or two beers. I mean, they're expensive. Yeah. Well, yeah, they are. Uh, if I'm going to like, I was forced to go to soccer game a while back and I had like four beers because I was at a fucking soccer game. Um, but like, if I go to the baseball game here, yeah, I'll have a couple of beers as long as they're cold. Well, the upcoming Olympics in France.

Speaker: Apparently France has a law or a rule or whatever, but they can't serve alcoholic beverages to the, I don't know if it's general admission or public or whatever the fuck it is at sports event news or whatever. So when the Olympics come up, only people who buy the VIP passes and the VIP tickets will be served drinks.

Speaker: How much? I don't know. I've never been to the Olympics. No, that's what I'm saying. I mean, it's like, so, so what you're saying is, and if I get general admission, I can't drink. Yeah. I guess, I guess in France or wherever this, the Olympics are in France, um, there's a law that they don't serve alcohol at sports venues or, or whatever.

Speaker: But they put in a caveat, if you will, as the people who have the VIP tickets, the VIP passes, can be served drinks. Okay. VIP pass abuse sort of drinks. It sounds like an aspect in the clubs. If you get a VIP pass, you get top shelf drinks for everybody else. Right, exactly. You can get bottle service.

Speaker: You know what it is? You know what it is gentlemen? Yeah. It's the god damn rich. Oh, Jesus Christ. Excellent, right? The one **** % getting everything they want. Look at me. I'm rich. Sorry. That's what it is. On behalf of my rich brethren, I'm sorry.

Speaker: who's putting all the money but but there are there are ways around it and you know that you're in France. If it wasn't for us, you'd be speaking German right now. If I'm going to watch the Olympics, I don't I'm not I don't need a drink.

Speaker: I'm going to watch the Olympics. I'm going to be drunk before I get there because why? You just want to be drunk just because anyway. I would rather tailgate at the Olympics than actually go watch the game. You wish you had my tolerance level. No, I used to have your tolerance level. Your tolerance level is weak compared to Hydra. I don't think you've ever even been close to my tolerance level. I probably didn't even try to be. And I used to be pretty tolerant in my 20s and 30s. I actually stopped to save money.

Speaker: And I always pick on you for drinking beer. I used to drink liquor the way you drink beer. I used to drink liquor the same way I drink beer right now. That's what I'm saying. And I stopped doing that. I've had the same bottle for a year. Jeff, you're a slacker. Everybody will be going in the week. I'm not. I don't drink. I just don't know what I'm saying. I'm supposed to drink is on the show. That's fine. I would drink a pot of late beer. And when I did drink on the show, I got shit because I kept calling Chris Bitch. Now, honestly, in the right situation, I finished that bottle in the day.

Speaker: I've done that on this. I've done that on this show. I've drank an entire. You all the times doing it every a damn episode. I've drank an entire bottle of Jack Daniels on this show. That don't make no sense. I've drank an entire bottle of crayon. Even when I would drink my crayon while I was breakfast with you all, I would never finish the bar with that. The caveat to that, Chris, is you are an alcoholic. I mean. Facts. Facts. It's like, like, like in the morning, I drink two Monster Energy drinks.

Speaker: Before I even start work. In the morning, I drink a six pack. I don't doubt it. I used to have a buddy of mine. No, what's in here, fuckers? I only drink. He literally get out of the bed. When I do the show, I only drink when I do the show. That's why he goes live three, four nights a week, Tony. I'm with you. I figured out why he started another show. Because he needs something to do while he's drinking.

Speaker: I like the only time you eat is when you're on this fucking show. Oh, no, that's not the only time I eat. This is one meal. That's why Tony. That's why Tony's so fat. He's always I'm alive. He's got to eat. Oh, my liver is my liver is not is not that thing went bye bye a long time ago. My wake up in the morning with his liver next to him crying. His liver is manic depressive. I liver. My liver looks idle.

Speaker: His liver is so strong. Oh my god. I got I got a Dear John letter from my goddamn liver about. Dear Chris, I'm leaving you. Dear Chris. Because. Wait your fucking month. I love you. And I love being a part of you. But it's just not working. I'm sorry. Maybe we'll, our paths will cross again someday. I wish you nothing but the best.

Speaker: signed your liver. Instead of his signature, it's a little bloodstain. You wake up a bathtub full of ice. The liver cut itself out. The cops are like, it's coming from the inside. It's that hot fuzz moment. You know that glass was broken from the inside out. I was going to say it said,

Speaker: that old urban legend where the guy is calling. She calls 911 and they're like, the call is coming from inside the house. I saw, I saw the funniest TikTok speaking of call coming inside the house. It's this guy he's sitting in. He's like, he's a shut in like I am. He picks up his phone and he's like, I'm inside the house. And he hangs up the phone.

Speaker: Why'd you hang up? Well, you're inside the house. Come fucking talk to me. I'm in your closet. That's okay. I know gay people. Don't worry about it. This is 2023, dude. No big deal. Hags up again. He's like, I'm in the house. I'm going to murder you. He's like, well, I'm over here. You don't have to be in the closet. I'm over here. He's like, this is bullshit! They've got that character that Pete Davidson plays where he just doesn't get it.

Speaker: No, I stopped watching Saturday Night Live in like 98. I catch clips every once in a while. The clip I did see with Pete Davidson that I did like, and once again, I hate Pete Davidson, but was the earthquake at the name change clinic?

Speaker: Mm hmm. That was actually funny. But the original film that came from was which what that what came from the call coming from inside the house? What was the question? It was way before it was in any movie. There was a question. Yeah. The calls are coming from inside the house. I don't know what movie there was. I don't. Tony, did you just have a stroke?

Speaker: No, I'm responding to something so my friend. On top of my head, I can't think of it, but it was an urban legend way before it was in any movies. Like most urban legends, they're based in some truth. And that actually happened to a babysitter in the 50s, I think it was, here in the States.

Speaker: That fucking movie Jennifer Lawrence did where she was a babysitter in the calls coming inside Oh that movie was so bad. I forgot about terrible But it was the first time I ever saw Jennifer Lawrence and I was like wow she's hot I scare Tony away

Speaker: Yes, lady. That movie was so, and they remade it too. Jennifer Lawrence movies. Not too long ago. The movie is called. Let me back check myself. Scream out, huh?

Speaker: Okay, so make sure it's all right because it started paying I got to give these damn tablets credit They got some nice little safety device that makes them worth the money to me. What is it? He got a television bomb bought him for his birthday last year It was a Christmas now his was crazy. It'll start beeping If there's moisture on the charger port That's impressive. It is impressive, but there's nothing over there with any moisture

Speaker: Yeah. Started beating me. And, and, and, and like, I, I, for the seventies and eighties cheese gore horror films. And I know they're all bad, but the, the original, uh, urban legends started before that. I mean, there was, you know, um, and of course I can't, um,

Speaker: I can't

Speaker: Yeah, they did it with scream like you read about. Well, they didn't do it in scream. They were coming from they were coming from cell phones, but the killer was typically in the general vicinity or, you know, and shout out to scream because shout out to West, God, RFP was craving RFP was definitely bad. But scream. Hey,

Speaker: And around Scream 4, it was really getting bad. But the last two Scream movies have been amazing. OK. I do want to see the one in New York, the newest one. That's Scream 6. Is it good? But if you haven't seen Scream 5, you've got to watch Scream 5 first. That's the thing. I saw the first one. I don't know if I saw four. I know I didn't see five or six. Yeah, because in Scream 5, they dubbed it a rape. It's not a rape.

Speaker: And it's not a sequel. It's a re -quote. But they really tie in the original Scream series with the two new ones. And they really brought them in. I'm sorry, but Matthew Lillard was a master in the first one. Matthew Lillard is perfect in everything he fucking does. That dude is, I love Matthew Lillard. The movie without a paddle, I find it hilarious still.

Speaker: That was hilarious. That was an absolute huge fan of Dax Shepard, but I actually like Dax Shepard in that movie. I love Dax and his wife. I do too. That's that's relationship goals right there dude. You need to see look Tony when you got a minute look up Dax Shepard's ride. Dax Shepard who? Dax Shepard's car.

Speaker: Oh, but, um, no, like you're right. As far as what? It's a station wagon. As far as movies go. That was, that was that first, that first time that they put that, but it's a, it's an urban legend from back in the day. 67 consonants was not, it's not a station wagon. Oh no, he's got a, he's got like a 97, uh, uh, grand, like the grand marquee wagon. And yeah, but, and we've talked about urban legends here on the show and all urban legends are based in some truth.

Speaker: And they've just been exaggerated over time. I mean, there's a movie and they just remade it. It's a really cool true crime story, but there's a movie called The Town That Feared Dark. And it was in Texarkana. There was a killer back in, I think it was in the sixties, fifties or sixties. Okay. They never found him.

Speaker: They never they never found him or anything like that. And they did a movie back in the 70s. Like I said, we found that you're dark. Check your snap, Tony.

Speaker: But that became that became that became that road master. Yeah, that's a bad beach. That murder case became an urban legend. I mean, that's that's that's that old tale of the the guy with the hook and the couple goes out on a date and he hears. Yes and no. It's very similar to that they never found him.

Speaker: But all urban legends, they're told to teach you a lesson. They all have a moral behind them of, obviously, don't be going out necking in the woods. Or if you do, take a gun. I'm sorry. But that call coming from the inside actually happened for real. And like I said, I think it was in the 50s or 60s.

Speaker: It was back when they had the, just after the rotary, they still hadn't the party lines. Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like you could be in the house and connect to the party line, as they called it. I remember pops talking about this because they had him when he was a kid and he would like the operator would pick up and he would say, Oh, give me.

Speaker: uh you know a number like you see in old movies they're like give me four five six seven and you're like yeah okay hi this is bob give me Francine at whatever right well that that was a big thing on on Andy Griffith they would may build the the the operator like give me give me Billy Bob you know and yeah pull the pull the cord out yeah oh yeah

Speaker: But yes, I am not here. What's that? Ah, what did you want? Don't mind Mr. Roboto. A robot hotel.

Speaker: Nice. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. No, no, I saw T2. Calm down, Will Smith. No, no, no. No, no, no, no. I saw Terminator. Ain't gonna fucking happen. I saw iRobot. No, no. I barely trust my chat DTP. Bro, my man and iRobot was a fucking hero. Don't even shit on the robots.

Speaker: Will did not like it. Hey, and, and Terminator, my man was a fucking hero. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Yeah, but the liquid dude, that dude scared the shit out of me. Cause you can't get away from me. He can liquid himself underneath the door. Scared you. Edward Furlong should have scared you more than him. That's the guy who played the kid in that movie. That's scary.

Speaker: That motherfucker looked like a cracker. But being a car guy, you know, I watched T2, even as a kid, I'm like, there's no way to hell that semi just jumped off the fucking bridge. That thing's fucked. Where's my sandwich woman? I love you, Dickey. Nice. Sorry, I was, we're having a discussion and Jeff still finds a way to fucking turn into cars. I had to turn the TV up because y 'all were loud.

Speaker: Sorry, I was writing. I'll get louder woman. She can hear you Jeff in the living room and you're 3000 miles away. That's my plan to bother her as much as possible. She took my man. She posted something the other day and he was like, he was mine first. Look at that belly. You and Tony both looking nine months pregnant.

Speaker: you fat **** Listen here, mister 290 mother **** Just because your body ain't **** right. Don't don't blame us. It looks like on me though. Looks good. Yeah, I'm built like a **** Tony D. You're built like a **** You're like, you could be shirtless on Star Wars. No. You know what? That's cold blooded because

Speaker: I'm a hybrid breed between an Ewok and a Chewbacca. My mom was an Ewok. I'm sorry. If anybody's an Ewok, I'm the Ewok. You're definitely Chewbacca. My mom was an Ewok and my dad was a Chewbacca. Wait, does that make Tony Lando?

Speaker: I mean, I mean, that doesn't make you a dead stormtrooper. I already called you walk motherfucker. Other than the fact that Lando really screwed over Hans. I mean, that's what Lando was a dick. I'm sorry. Lando was a dick. And then he stole Hans clothes.

Speaker: When you see Lando Raigal -Rissian driving the Millennium Falcon, he's wearing Han Solo's clothes. Han Solo, he conned Lando for the Millennium Falcon. Yeah, but when you see Lando driving the Millennium Falcon, he's wearing Han Solo's clothes. Yeah, he was. Now, if you watch Solo, the Star Wars story, that was great, though. That was great. I think it was good. I think he's in here.

Speaker: Listen here, Mr. Let's talk football for 12 hours. What? Spaceballs was a great movie. I love Spaceballs. That's you. Holy shit. Tony, I just figured out he's a Mog. Half man, half dog. Really? I'm John Candy. You're John Candy. Fuck you. Harry. Harry and Fat. Harry and Fat.

Speaker: fuck both of you because that is the second time in my life and no disrespect to John Candy that I have been compared to John Candy. Once I was fat, I was over 300 pounds and I grew a mustache and I and there was a beach picture where we were. You're you're you're fucking uh uh Trains Play Zombobils, Chance Candy.

Speaker: Yeah, there was my Facebook that was posted. We was at the beach in Charleston. And one person was like, you look like John Candy. And then I got clowned on. I didn't even post it. I guarantee you said going to the gym tomorrow. Fucking go to the goddamn gym.

Speaker: But I was, I was, I was fat. I was a disgusting mess. But that was the time in your life where was it your best either? No, my face was all big. It looked like a, it looked like a fucking beach ball. Like Madonna. No, no, no. I looked like a fucking beach ball. And then I had this big ass fucking caterpillar on my lip. Yeah, I was not in a good spot.

Speaker: That was good. That was good.

Speaker: He said his mustache would be Burt Reynolds and Megan the PI crowd. I'm sorry. They would be jealous. They would be so hurt. And those are two cats that were iconically known. And I'm going to throw a third in there. I'm going to throw a third in there. Oh, I'm curious. Sam Elliott. I'll make all three of them bitches cry like I'm full for you. Nobody remembers this dude, but I bet you couldn't beat his mustache. Oh, I'll be willing to Matt Houston.

Speaker: What was the what was the black guy that had the mustache all the time? Uh, uh, uh, he was in, he was in Dustin Dawn. Uh, Jeeves, you remember that? Houston Jeeves, you got to go back in the day for Matt Houston. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Oh yeah. His mustache has nothing on it. That motherfucker with the Texas mustache version. I don't care what nobody says.

Speaker: He was the Texas mustache version of Michael Knight. Fred Williams. Fred Williams, also known for having mustache. Rest in peace, Trent Williams. Treat Williams, I think it will. Fred, Fred, Fred, Fred. Oh, Fred Williams. Yeah, you couldn't. You wasn't beating that mustache. Oh, I beat that mustache. That mustache. I beat that mustache. I beat that mustache. No, like Fred had a step shot. For shit. No, no. That's like saying you could beat up Michael Jai White.

Speaker: Yeah. Uh yeah. Will you bring me a couple beers, please? Yeah, he beat people with our sandwich. What happened? Jeff wants a sandwich. I want my tie. And Tony wants a my tie. I think she said gay. I can. I heard it too. I heard it too. I heard it. You know what it sounded like? No, I I I can grow a pretty sick mustache. The only problem. It sounded like this.

Speaker: It's because you bitches never had one. A Mai Tai and a Long Island. Oh, we can go fight some people. A Long Island. All the things to make the Mai Tai. All the things. Did you find the one from Paradise Cove is all I'm asking. No. Paradise Cove where? The Paradise Cove Mai Tans. The ingredients for the one they use in Hawaii. Hawaii. OK. I'm on it. Gotcha. You told me you couldn't get the, I think it was the bar mix.

Speaker: No, she's got to be on the nonsensical nonsense drink because at her job, they do a company. I know you keep distracting her. I think it's dead. I don't think it's grenadine. I think it's something else. Yeah, it's some kind of syrup. Now I can't remember. But yeah. You know what you did tell me. It was a candle. It was some type of melon or something. You did tell me. Or a got or something. I'll make a tie you. Where's your pencil?

Speaker: You just go. I hit that. You gotta hit that. Oh. Yeah. It is the The org. Yeah. O .O .R .G .E .A .T. That's what. Or orgy. It's not orgy. I heard orgy. I didn't even say that. I already knew you were going to say that. You was you you you. You was about as beautiful as your beard.

Speaker: Blick has the same problem I do. He says the word and it starts with O, it has a G and it goes, that's orgy. Or, or, orgy, orgy. Orgy. That's an orgy. Yeah, that's an orgy. For you, Tony D. Or a coffee. No more beer. Grab it from the beard. Grab it from your beard. You're a beard. Or, hey, hey, Tony D. I know you're gonna know this. Well, you might be too old for this.

Speaker: I remember when I grew, when I lived in certain areas and I'd go to see if my friend could come out. Man, momma said I'm on punishment. I'm not allowed to come out. I don't remember that. That was a black thing when I lived in the hood, when I grew up in the projects. And I, what? Did you add onions? Your chili cheese though? I don't know. I don't know. I haven't tried to win through it, but I don't remember being on TV like that. No, I've heard that.

Speaker: You go answer the door. You tell them you ain't coming out and you tell them why and then you get back in your room. They would come to the door and be like, mama said I'm not allowed to come out of my punishment. That's right. And then and then the next day they'd be off punishment. But my mama's a bitch. Always tell me what I can't do. Fuck that woman.

Speaker: They won't say it around mom. Yeah, we was outside. I didn't even say that shit outside around about my mom because I do. She had that supersonic hearing. Almost a bit. It's just 12 miles. God damn it. 12 miles away. On punishment. Yeah. He used to kill me. I don't fuck you get on punishment. I didn't clean my room.

Speaker: The lady across the street whose son that cash got into a fight with she said you just got all punishment and now you're out here acting like you ain't got no **** sense. Yeah, that house. My grandmother used to say that you act like you ain't got no **** sense. Well, hello. She just got off punishment.

Speaker: And she said, why? Cause you mad? Cause he got the best of you, which is what happened. Cash got the best of him. And then when they, when they, when cash was walking away, a little fucker snuck him and yanked his feet out from underneath. Strawberry banana. Really? Oh, I love strawberry banana. That's why I like strawberry. I'm not a big banana guy. Strawberry banana mixed combination.

Speaker: The only thing, it sounds weird, but the only thing banana I like is those, the runts. It's quick. You love quick. It's the same thing as the runts. Very small. Tastes like bananas. Either way, you're like the chimp at the zoo.

Speaker: fuck. We need that clip. Yeah, we forgot that. Yeah, damn it. Now, I gotta find it. Don't even like it. Just kidding. That fucking clip is funny. No, but back on the mustache thing, if I, if I had to paint, the problem with mustaches, they're, they're very uncomfortable. Especially if you grow big.

Speaker: I'm talking about this. What the fuck? I can't let this go because... Oh, my God. The nice thing about having a mustache comes down to one, only one thing. You get to walk in a room and say, who wants a mustache ride? Oh, yeah, I can one -up that. And more hands are going to get raised. Who wants a beard ride? Nobody raised their hand. Go figure.

Speaker: Hey, baby. You want a beard ride? Would you prefer a mustache or a beard ride? Bang. Nikki, I'm disappointed in you. She said beard. I mean, I'll put it on my TikTok page. You guys seem to really follow my TikTok page. No, we do not. Your shit comes across my name when I'm still here. Yeah, I'm sure my shit comes across your page, Tony D.

Speaker: Yeah, sure, Tony. I've got 9 ,000 people to look at besides you. 9 ,000 bots you can look at. They're not all bots, trust me. Oh, hey, there's your fucking clique with this goddamn shirt off. What's worse about that video? Okay, it comes down to one thing.

Speaker: it. I didn't see it coming. I'm scrolling. I'm like, ha ha. Funny video. Funny video. Jesus Christ. Oh no, that's Chris. I'm just, you know, I'm just saying I'm I'm I'm kind of proud of that video because uh like I told you in the free show, Tony. Hang down was looking real good. I'm just saying. It was looking real **** impressive. I'm like, damn. I'm **** swinging Thor's hammer up in this **** Watch out.

Speaker: Just watching the video again. Hold on a second. I found the video, but we can't use it. Why not? Tony could use it. We're not saying it. It's a goddamn video. All right. All right. I already downloaded it. Every time he comes in here going, where do I women at? That's a good point. Just cut out part that you don't want in, Jeff.

Speaker: Yeah, that sounds like work. Where does my buddy sigh? There, Jesus Christ. Give me a second, let me download this. This video cracks me up though. Ah, takes forever to load.

Speaker: But anywho, how can we please complain about when she's called? Yeah. Well, you, you got the app. They're cold. Oh, they are cold. We ordered Sonic, right? He got cheese tots. They're cold. They're cold. Slices of government cheese and put on top of that Jesus.

Speaker: They didn't even like put shredded cheese or cheese saucer. Just like we have this is what happened. This is what happened. Cheese tots. You have to eat them right there. You know they cold up quick. I mean, they're like frozen cold. They're not just cooked and cold. They're frozen cold. Yeah, you might want to drive up there and let them feel it. And following what? You know what Nikki? I'm not even going to lie. She may want to drive up there and let them feel that because even they wouldn't know better.

Speaker: Oh, no. Door dash is really good. If you make a complaint, they'll correct it. Right now. They'll give you the money back, but you're missing the point. Yeah. Well, yeah, no. But when you put that complaint in, it goes against that restaurant. I know. So she's going to jump on it. Because we all... I would just go to listen. Y 'all know what I just mean, right? Door dashed it.

Speaker: That's going to be another strike on that restaurant. So any other complaint? I want my food. She's got her food. She's going to throw them in the air fryer. Oh, that's even better. Yeah. Duh. So I'll tell you what, give me the food the way you make it cold and I'll heat it up my damn self. Well, that's what I said. She's going to go into the app and follow the complaint because the food was frozen and it had melted government cheese on it.

Speaker: And then they'll reimburse us. It'll be a strike to that restaurant. And do you do know that on DoorDash? If a restaurant gets too many strikes from, from the, the, the, the customers and the dashes, don't take them off DoorDash. You won't be able to come anymore because DoorDash won't, won't tolerate continual, uh, or continuous, uh, suffering. I did not know that.

Speaker: Yeah, I actually did not know that until I started dashing. And then I learned that if a restaurant gets too many complaints from either side, that they'll be taken off a door dash. And like, you know, Sonic being everywhere.

Speaker: It won't take. They're not everywhere. Well, you know what I mean? Well, like McDonald's, for instance, McDonald's is worldwide. McDonald's is everywhere, Burger King's everywhere, Wendy's is everywhere. Some of this. Specific restaurant, not the entire company. But that specific restaurant will be taken off. No, no, I got you with that part. But in punishment, one of those. I did not know that. Yes, well, you're not local.

Speaker: Yeah, it's the same thing for a Dasher. You know, as a Dasher, you have to keep a certain, you know, a certain rating, a certain percentage for completions. Yes, you do. Completions on time. And I try to destroy the business. You got to, you got to, you got to piss me up repeatedly. I .E., and since we global with our shit, McDonald's.

Speaker: I need all of your employees to understand something. If I ask for bacon, egg, and cheese on my McMuffin, yes, I know, my McMuffin, my biscuit, or my McGriddle.

Speaker: I do not mean sausage. Why y 'all think bacon and sausage sound the fucking same? It's driving me nuts. Speaking of McDonald's, fucking retarded goofs that work at McDonald's, I made you understand how to fucking put a cheeseburger together, first and foremost. They do. They do. You know, before you get on your tangent about them putting sausage and not bacon, if I order a goddamn cheeseburger, it's pretty hard. It's bread, meat, cheese, ketchup, butt.

Speaker: I want my pick on myself. In that order, I've opened up a goddamn cheeseburger and it said the bottom was a regular bun. The top has been a sesame seed bun. In the middle is God knows what they called a burger. There's no fucking cheese. There's goddamn lettuce and every like y 'all stupid motherfuckers can't do the simplest thing. And I'm talking about McDonald's because McDonald's is notorious for being fuckups. Y 'all have the easiest job in the world.

Speaker: agreed. And y 'all are some of the most retarded ass motherfuckers I've ever seen and when it comes to fast food, McDonald's. All I said was all I said was between bacon and sausage. This motherfucker's on tangent. Bust a rubber. What's good? Fucking Burger King. You'll open a box from Burger King and that's something bitch will look just like the fucking picture.

Speaker: the same with Wendy's Taco Bell. When you're looking at that menu and you see that you see that picture of the food on the menu, that's what it fucking looks like. McDonald's. It's a goddamn it's it's it's it's like playing Russian Roulette when you go to McDonald's. You don't know what's going to be in that bag when you open it up. Sometimes he's been right. Yes. Sometimes I've been like I have to go mines is on chasing them to milk. Christ.

Speaker: Hey, you started late. I made it, damn it. I started late because you showed up late. And then you showed up late. You showed up late. Jeff and I were here. I'm here. I'm always on time. Oh, I can't play. Jay's here.

Speaker: Exactly. You still a douchebag. Oh, hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Speaker: Get them bananas out of my fucking face, motherfucker. I don't give a fuck about them bananas. Give me them motherfucking bananas! For real, though, let me get that banana, please, bro. Get him to me. Give me that shit. Hey, look over there. It's Paris Hilton. Give me that shit, nigga. That's how real people eat their bananas.

Speaker: He said, he said, look over there. It's how real people eat their bananas. That's all right. You sound like Cleveland. I'm not real people. You know what he's saying? Is it offensive? Yes or no? That's not offensive.

Speaker: that's how real people eat bananas. Dude, I that that is that is my new favorite thing on tiktok is is pets and and and it'll be kind of sober. Yes, where where people are going to voice servers. I mean, I will fall into that wormhole. Oh, and I will cry laugh for two hours. Yes. Well, I just editing that video because the full video is a couple of clips of the same monkey eating

Speaker: And I was watching it while downloading it because in order to get it off WhatsApp, you have to watch it enough. And I'm sitting here watching it, laughing my ass off. I'm going, ooh, that's a good clip. Ooh, nope, nope. Yeah, use that. But I didn't want the whole thing because it's multiple clips and it goes on for a minute, a minute and a half. I'm like, yeah, we don't need something. Yeah, no, it's not a fish. He said, look, over there.

Speaker: I'm going to go. Tony is a moustache, right? Yeah, there it is. Uh so you got, that's why you got, you got talking about mustache rides. That's right. On his code for I'm about to get a mustache right now. Cool. Have fun, Tony. Wear your seatbelt.

Speaker: I don't know if that how it sounds.

Speaker: My co -workers, she's watching, she just sent me a message. She said, did he just say Odelele? Yep. Odelele. Odelele. Oh shit. I can't even know the fucking difference. You live in Mexico, don't make you a Mexican.

Speaker: Yeah, but believe it or not, it's not something you hear every day. It's not even a real thing in there down there for you guys. It came about. It is, it is, but it's, it's more, it's not like, like you see in LA, they're like, it's more of a greeting. But here, when you hear it,

Speaker: A, the first time you hear it, you laugh. Oh yeah. But because you're like, 20 fucking years, I'm still waiting on that shit. Never heard of Reva? No, no, but I've never heard somebody say that. And I'm waiting daily for that shit.

Speaker: Every time I go to the store, but it's more like, if, if, if I were to say last night, I went bungee jumping, I almost died. You'd be like, Oh, that's crazy. More like a holy shit, dude. That's fucked up. When I used to work security, this has been years ago, even before my kids were ever even thought of. And we worked at apartment complex and my partner was this little Puerto Rican kid.

Speaker: And we had a problem in the front part, the front part of the apartment complex, we called little Mexico. Right. You've mentioned that. In the middle was we called tiny Somalia, because it was all all ends. And they were cool. The Mexicans were cool. But in the back, we tried not to go back there unless we absolutely had to because it was just a fucking it was a melting pot of fuckery. You know, from the white trash to the ghetto to

Speaker: whatever other. But eventually through some fucking bad ass parties. No, they were all stupid. Drug addicts. I have no time. I have no time for people like that. It was just a mess in the back half. But in the front half, we had a problem with Mexicans.

Speaker: breaking into vacant apartments. Who didn't live there? They would break into the apartments and they would party and crash and destroy the apartment, whatever. And then bounce. And Lex, his name got leveled. I would love to find this cat again because he was so cool. Alexia was his name. Alexia Claudio, I think was his last name. He was Puerto Rican.

Speaker: but we would go, we would catch them in the apartments. I would kick the door and like, put a bedroom where they would all be at and I'd be like, I need my, I need my, I need my, I need my, I need my, I need my, I need my, I need my, I need my, I need my, I need my, I need my, I need my, I need my, I need my, I need my, I need my, I need my, I need my, I need my, I need my, I need my, I need my, I need my, I need my, I need my, I need my, I need my, I need my, I need my, I need my, I need my, I need my,

Speaker: Well, it literally means up, up and hurry up. Yeah. But he also says, well, it doesn't help matters. None that you look like a goddamn Federale because I wore, I wore my white cowboy hat.

Speaker: And I'm like, I had my uniform on and the company said that I could wear whatever hat that you wanted. So I had a white cowboy hat. I wore a white cowboy hat. I'm as big as I am. I kicked the fucking door and I just started screaming. That's what the Mexican families, when we would roll around. And I used to sit in the back of our truck. We had a pickup truck.

Speaker: And Lex would drive, and I would sit in the back so that I could say hi to everybody. And I felt like a pageant queen. When we would go to Little Mexico, they would joke around and go, ah, la policea. But it was a joke because of the one. Well, here's the crazy thing. OK, when I first moved to Mexico, I saw a cop vehicle.

Speaker: now cop vehicle to you and me are explorers yes crown vix you know no here chevy silverado's dodge ram's nissan titans

Speaker: and I'm like, what? I'm mad. That's how it was down South there. They got pick up even now here in Ohio. They have pickup trucks. I mean, well, that's kind of Sheriff's Department. They went to lifted four by fours because of everybody running from him. And when they got there, I mean, when they got that was that was the beauty of it back in the day when we were kids and we had lifted vehicles, cops shows up, Ben, there's a cornfield right there. We're gone. We are meeting beyond his local behind his have fun. Enjoy.

Speaker: But he's like, you're the biggest goddamn Federale they've ever seen. Did you realize that? And even like, because where are you? You tucked your shirt in. And I was in a lot better shape back then.

Speaker: So, you know, I had a shirt that was a size too small, so it really like... Yeah, and the sleeves rolled up. No, I didn't roll up because they really hung tight right around my arms and around like my chest and shoulders. But like, you remember how Bob Smith used to wear... He'd get it too small and then he'd roll it like three times. Yeah. So he could show off his gun. That's literally how Federale's doing it here. He's like, you're present so long.

Speaker: Walking past the Federale building, it's like, Bob, Bob, holy shit is Bob. He's like, your presence alone. You don't have to say anything, but then you just start screaming random words in Spanish. Any, but any normal person that knows Spanish, like is he retarded?

Speaker: When it's 10 o 'clock at night, they're drunk and passed out. Monster in a white cowboy hat. Most immigration guys don't speak very good Spanish. They know enough to get the point across the first place. So it makes sense. Yeah, I get it.

Speaker: And even in the Mexican people who lived in the apartment complex, the ones that lived there, they were awesome. I loved them and they took care of us. They watched out for us. They fed us. We used to play soccer with the kids. They really had our backs. They always, always had our backs. If we got into a situation, and nine times out of ten, we were outnumbered.

Speaker: You know, but they would always be right there. They had our backs because we were good to them. We treated them with respect and we would love the kids. We would we would show up and ice cream truck would roll through and we'd stop the ice cream truck and you get nine million fucking kids because you know, a Mexican woman, she doesn't have one or two kids. She has

Speaker: 400 of them that all come out in the same goddamn time. Their pull -up game is weak. I'm sorry. It really is. And their fertile as fuck. If you look at a Mexican woman wrong, she will get pregnant. I'm pretty sure me jerking off in Ohio has impregnated multiple Mexican women.

Speaker: Uh, the other day, the other day I took the kids to, there's, there's this little bitty hole in the wall restaurant that I love. It doesn't even have a name, but they sell these amazing fucking sandwiches or tortoises. And afterwards the kids are like, Oh, right next door is a park that everybody goes to. And I was like, he, the kids are like, can we go to the park? And I was like, yeah, okay, let's go to the park. And I'm sitting on the bench smoking a cigarette and the kids are out on, on a basketball court and they've turned it into a soccer field. Yeah.

Speaker: And and it's just my two kids and two other kids playing soccer. Well, there's three kids and my two kids And I was like, well, that's kind of uneven team guys i'll play goalie Well, that was a mistake Yeah Because I forgot that i'm not 20 i'm way the fuck out of shape and And I forgot that I suck at sports and now

Speaker: only one goal in the entire three hours that we played got past me because they were all 10 and 12. But but I was in the goal. It's not like I was running up and down the fucking court and shit. I was sweating like like I just run a marathon. Yeah. And I was out of breath just taste a ball four feet. I'm like Jesus Christ.

Speaker: And it, it was like nine o 'clock at night. It's not hot, but you know, the sun's not onion shit, but it's still so fucking hot. I was like, this is ridiculous. Can we go home? Well, then you're old and fat. Well, yeah, that doesn't help. But I was sitting there going and you know, after a while I was like, you know what? These kids have been running around like crazy. And then two other adults joined in, like the kid's mom, the one kid's mom and the other kid's dad, they were kind of in the,

Speaker: on the teams, I was like, fuck that, I'm goalie. No, no, I'm not running. Fuck, no, no. Very white, very old, I'm not running. So after we played for like two and a half hours, I was like, you know what, fuck it. I went across the street and I went and bought waters for everybody. And I come back from the store with a big bag of waters and everybody's like, are you thirsty? I was like, no, I bought this everybody. And it was like, really? I was like, yeah, they're like 50 cents, calm down.

Speaker: But I was like, no, nobody ever does that. Well, this kid, this kid is 300 pounds and sweating like he's. Yeah. And like we, and that's actually why we got fired because we weren't assholes. We were too nice and we got fired because people are like, we play basketball with the Smolian kids. The Smolian kids called us Shrek and donkey.

Speaker: Yeah, Lex was a little tiny Puerto Rican kid. You know, we played basketball with them. Everybody knew us. We'd come through. Everybody was always pleasant and nice. And in the cards that they had before that were all assholes. They were all assholes. They were dicks. Two of them were 100 % racist as fuck. I got into a fist fight with one of them.

Speaker: because of the way that he was talking to people and disrespecting people for no **** reason. But yeah, and like I said, you know, if we were in, well, we dubbed it Little Mexico or tiny Somalia, they looked out for us. It becomes a community. Yeah, and we were. I mean, we knew all the, in like, there was like one family from Mexico that had two whole buildings. Oh yeah. One family were living in, they had, they occupied two **** buildings.

Speaker: at this apartment complex and uh you know, we get there and and they bring us lunch and when we got there or you know, then they'd come over and they'd bring us dinner and you know how they throw down. Oh man. I mean, it wasn't like they brought a plate with two tacos on it. They bought. No, no, they brought you over tamales and yeah. A good tamale. Yeah. **** me. Totally worth it. A bad tamale. Uh

Speaker: Yeah, no, it was like, it was like trays of food, man. All they would do, they would, they took care of us, they brought us, they would bring us food. And it was a cool job. I loved it. I was, man, I was, I was young. I was like 21, 22, you know? So I was like in my, in my family.

Speaker: you're in the heyday, you can actually keep up with the kids. If something goes down, you can still take care of it. Now, would you do that job now though? If the money was right, absolutely. Well, no, I'm gonna say money, I'm not getting an option, but would you be able to keep up?

Speaker: Yeah, I think I could I think I think I would surprise I think I would surprise a lot of people, you know, because Nikki and I've talked about, you know, talked about this and I've told her I said, I would love to go back into balance. You know, I would love to bounce again, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna bounce like I did before, where I can, you know,

Speaker: various clubs and concert venues. But if I found a spot that on the weekends, when the kids weren't here or whatever, I can go bounce on a Friday and Saturday night, right? I would absolutely do it because, you know, outside of the aches and pains, I think that I could still do the job and I can still do the job relatively well.

Speaker: because I still have the mindset that I had when I was younger. So, yeah, you know, obviously as a, well, see, that's the thing. I have mentally, I have not grown up. Like when I, when I decided to play soccer with the kids, I was like, I got this. This is going to be cake. And I'm over there doing pull ups on the fucking goal and shit. And while they're at the other end of the court.

Speaker: And then the next morning I woke up and I was like, that was a fucking terrible idea. Yeah, exactly. But I mean, you have to understand like when, when I was bouncing in my, yeah, baby. No, he left. Yeah. No, he left. Um, uh, no, even, even, even back back in the day. Um, you know, I, uh,

Speaker: It wasn't like it wasn't like Roadhouse where they're popping up the blood in the eyeballs and fighting every night. You know, we had our but but you know, I had I and I and I still live by this. This has been a rule that I've lived by pretty much my entire life. I have a I have a three strike rule. You know, if if I'm working some kind of position or even with people in general, the first time I'm going to be like, hey,

Speaker: That's enough. Even if I'm going to get in, and I've been in a lot of fights and stuff like that, but if I'm going to get into a fight, it's like, all right, let's say everybody calm down. Let me buy you a beer. That's strike one. Strike two, I'm going to get a little bit louder. I'm going to get a little bit aggressive. I'm going to assert myself a little bit more. If we go to strike three, I'm putting it back. It's that old saying. It's the old saying.

Speaker: From the cavalry. No fighting. No fighting. No fucking fighting. No fighting. No fucking fighting! Good. Get the fuck out of here.

Speaker: You know, I'm, I'm, I'm cool as a cucumber, but you know, once you get to strike three, there's no, there's no, there's no talking. There's no conversation. There's no, there's no shit. I'm putting fucking hands on you. Well, yeah. Uh, I actually worked here in Cancun at, at the club Coco Bongo as a, uh, I was part of the security team. Uh, because of my background, they, they wanted me to do it. And of course speaking English actually helps.

Speaker: And I'd be on the floor and stuff will happen. It's very much like you said, it's not every night, but every once in a while somebody's got a stick up their ass and somebody spilled a drink and next thing you know, it's going down. And the one thing that I was really good at is in a club that fits 2 ,000 people, I can get from one side of the club to the other in a heartbeat.

Speaker: I'm like Eric Northman just, you know, I'm there because I can weave in and out of the crowd really quick because I'm small. And I'm also not afraid to jump in the middle of something and break it up. A lot of times by the time the rest of the security time team got there, it was already fixed. And I was like, okay, these two guys need to get the fuck out because the rule of the club was

Speaker: If you're starting to swing, you're out the door. And, and that was basically my job was to, if swings started happening, to get there, break it up. And when the bigger guys got there, they could carry these motherfuckers out. That was their, I was like, this, this one, this one out. And because, you know, I don't, I don't have the, the, not necessarily strength, but like, I can't grab two guys at once, carry them out the bar. One maybe.

Speaker: It's going to be a struggle because I'm usually smaller, but I'm also, it's that whole hillbilly strong or country strong. It's, and you know, I can take a hit. I've been knocked out before. It's a nice nap. I'm going to take somebody with me. I have no doubt that, um,

Speaker: that I could I could do. I could do that. I could do that job again. I think I could. At the end of the day, I think the biggest part about it was is after one of those nights go down nowadays, the next morning I would be feeling. Yeah, I'll be alright.

Speaker: Oh, she's not in an ice pack, can't fix. I'll be all right. Like I said, I wake up both days and deal with, with pain and shit. Uh, you know, so I'm kind of used to it, but you know, it's all about mindset. It's all about, you know, where, where, where's your head at when you're doing a job like that?

Speaker: And I think that's what, what made me so good and why I was so respected. And, and, and I was in all these different venues and clubs and stuff like that because the owners knew what they were getting with me. Right. You know, I had a reputation. We're almost done. I know they had to go. So yeah, I don't know. I'd like to do it again.

Speaker: But, you know, also, at the same time, I already have too much other shit going on, man. That's the last thing I need is one more thing on my fucking plate. You know what I mean? That's the other problem. It's like, yes, I could 100 % do it. But who's got the fucking time anymore? Because, A, the money's not that good. Well, I mean, the money is great. It can be. But depending on where you were, because when I was doing it, I was in construction. I was building houses.

Speaker: And I was making good money building houses. I was making damn good money for my age, but it was also based off my experience. But at the same time, I can work three nights in a club and make double what I made in a week at my regular job. You know what I mean? Well, the difference is here, the money is not as good.

Speaker: But I'm not going to, but I'm also not going to go work at some little hole in the wall fucking bar. I'm working at, you know, I was working at, you know, one of the strip clubs. I worked at three different strip clubs. And not only did I get my nightly rate, which was a certain amount of money guaranteed, I got a percentage of the door. Right. I got tipped out from the bartenders. I got tipped out from the waitresses. I got tipped out from the DJ and I got tipped out from the girls.

Speaker: And you get to watch for free. Yeah. And when I was in a club, you got tipped out from the door, you got tipped out from the bar staff, and then you got your whatever your nightly rate was. However, let's say you in the... On a given night, what would you say you could pull in? Not including your regular rate, just like tip wise. Tip wise, if I was at the strip club, I usually averaged on a Friday or Saturday night,

Speaker: anywhere, anywhere between seven and $1 ,200. That's not terrible. And that's, and that's, and that's just, that's just door percentage and being tipped out and being tipped out at a club, you know, like a dance club or whatever. It was usually three, 400 bucks.

Speaker: Maybe 500 bucks. But that's just being tipped out. That's not including how much. And, you know, just to show up and be there for the night, that money was stupid in itself. Yeah. I mean, there was like... I think when I was doing it here, they were paying me 30K pesos a month, which is about 1 ,500 bucks. A month? No, wait. Hold on. Is it 1 ,500?

Speaker: I have walked out of clubs. Yeah, 1500. I have like, it's like, that money here is I would get that every two weeks. So I'd get 60k a month. But you can live comfortably in Cancun on 1000 bucks a month. Yeah, no, there were some nights that I would walk out of a out of a club with

Speaker: two plus grand in my pocket cash now did you ever do like uh if the girls did like a bachelor party or something like that bing ram style well not like bing ram style but yep i did that um well bing ram style from from uh what was that demi more movie he was he was her strip tease yeah yep yep i had i had girls that would pay me extra to

Speaker: I walked into the car. I had girls who would pay me extra to follow them home and make sure they got in the house and it was quote unquote sweep of the house. They would pay me extra. A little extra. I'm kidding. No, but like. I mean, I've been one time, but.

Speaker: We had, we had, uh, it wasn't even, that was, that was not even planned. That just kind of happened. Yeah. That's, that's the beauty. No, like we had, we did something similar because we, we had, we had, um, Coco Bongo has dancers, they do shows and some of these girls are just drop dead gorgeous. Yeah. And, and.

Speaker: What we would do is is they all lived in the same complex that Cocobongo literally part of their salary was their their rent. They would be guaranteed an apartment. And what we would do at the end of the night when they were done, which is four o 'clock in the morning. Well, no, it's three, sorry, three o 'clock. We would drive them home.

Speaker: We had a whole van where part of my job was there. Some days I'd drive the van, like once a month, I'd drive the van for a week, uh, or, or ride in the van or, you know, follow the van, get on that kind of thing. And you got a little extra for that, but it's nothing, nothing to write home about, you know, it's like 20 bucks, you know, but once again, 20 bucks, we're talking 20 bucks in 2001. Well, Jeff, as you said, $20 is $20. It's not gay. Yeah.

Speaker: It's not gay unless you fall in love. It's it's not gay unless you're the uh the catcher or you may not. Yeah. Why you don't make eye contact? You're good. But it's like but. Don't ever be the catcher. Always be the pitcher which you are the catcher in our relationship. Says you. Yeah, I'm not.

Speaker: What was the line from Scary Movie? Dude, you sucked my dick. I was thinking about that movie today because what's the guy's name that played the... He was kind of like the... Not Freddy Prince Jr. The guy that married Reese was... What's his name? I know what you did last summer.

Speaker: That's Freddie Prinze Jr., isn't it? No, no, Freddie Prinze Jr. married. Freddie Prinze married, sir, Michelle Geller. Right, but the other guy, it's, holy shit, what's his name that's gonna drive me nuts? He was in that movie, Dead Man on Campus, too. Are you talking about, are you talking about Chet?

Speaker: Yeah. The guy who was like, give me the dick. Yeah. That guy. And he's like, he had hit a baby penis. Even Reese Witherspoon. No, no, no, no. Reese Witherspoon married the guy from, uh, he, she married Ryan Phillippe. Oh yeah. But Chet was playing, uh, Ryan Phillippe's character in that, in that movie. Those movies are so complicated.

Speaker: Holy shit, I didn't realize, I had totally forgotten about that movie. I didn't know Zach from fucking Saved by the Bell was in Dead Man on campus. I totally forgot about - He starred in it. Yeah. That movie was like, I remember when that movie came out, there was posters in the high school. Yeah. 20, I wanna - What's his name?

Speaker: Deadman on campus cast. Yeah. I can't remember his name. He did a movie with Meat Loaf and one of the chicks from Sex in the City. That cat is one of those. He is that guy. He is. I love him as an actor. He's an amazing actor. Monroe. Yeah. He's an amazing actor. What's this dude up? What's his name? Lachlan Monroe. His name is fucking spelled

Speaker: crazy as **** Yeah, he was in uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh

Speaker: Um, it was the second one or whatever. When she got killed, she was like, Oh no, there's the big bad sky. Yeah. Even when he cuts off her head, she's like, really? This is so cliche. Yeah. You see, do you see the guy? You see his fucking name.

Speaker: Oh, hold on. Look at the spelling of his first and last name. I don't even know. That's a problem. I spelled it wrong because he's got a weird spelling. Yeah. It's Lachlan. L -O -C -H -L -Y -N. M -U -N -R -O. I'm assuming that's Lachlan Monroe. Monroe. Hold on. I got to find him. Show. Speedlejuice is in that movie.

Speaker: I mean, he's been in a million goddamn movies and TV shows. Yeah. Well, he's, he's actually, he's, he's a good actor. I like him. Um, I like him too. Okay. Yeah, it is. It's spelled weird. God damn it. I mean, he's been in some fucking hits. I mean, he was a peacemaker. Yeah.

Speaker: I met at the Roxbury, uh, bench warmers, Freddy versus Jason, a dead man on campus. Obviously, uh, he, he was a little man. There's another Wayne's movie daddy day camp. He was in the television show river day. He did a movie, uh, with it's, it's like,

Speaker: Road dog or something. And Meat Loaf is a truck driver. That's Black Dog with Patrick Swayze. No, no. Similar concept. Meat Loaf was in Black Dog. Meat Loaf is also in this other movie. Wow, really? It's called Black Top. Never heard of it. And it stars Kristen Davis, Meat Loaf, and Lachlan Monroe.

Speaker: And basically like Kristen Davis is she doesn't even realize she's kidnapped. Oh, shit. Because she's she's like getting a ride from Meat Loaf, who's a truck driver. And Lachlan Monroe is driving this shitty asshole Buick trying to keep up. And the whole time Meat Loaf is is calling and texting him going, I'm going to fucking kill her. And she has no fucking clue. Oh, Jesus.

Speaker: It's a really good movie. It came out in 2000. That is nothing like Black Dog. I love Black Dog. Don't get me wrong. Fuck it. Randy Travis does not get into play as a fucking actor. He really doesn't. He is. He's actually really good. Yeah. He was a great actor.

Speaker: and country music. Bro, my guy, dude, has done a ton of fucking Western movies. Is it Trace Adkins? Trace Adkins? No, not Trace Adkins. You're talking about Trace Adkins. Yeah, Trace Adkins. He's a big old country. He's a big old country, dude. Well, Trace Adkins was in The Lincoln Lawyer. Yeah. Yeah. He's done a ton of Western movies. I didn't know that. And stuff like that. He did this movie called Hickok. OK.

Speaker: uh, stagecoach. Yeah. He's done a ton of like straight to streaming straight to, um, straight to DVD style movies, but he is another country singer who is actually a great fucking actor. And he plays like a really good, uh, Western good guy or bad guy. Right.

Speaker: Well, like Trace Adkins did, uh, not Trace Adkins. What was, uh, what you did with Rodney Carrington, the, uh, beer for my horses. Yeah. Beer for my horses. That was cute. That was Toby. Yeah. Toby Keith. Thank you. This is, I'm sending you the picture with the black dog, uh, cover. Yeah. That was basically Toby Keith being Toby Keith, but I like, I like it. Yeah. Very cool. Let's wrap this fricking show up.

Speaker: It's about that time. I got to eat. I got to piss. I need to. I'm going to drop in and say hello to our friend Dizzy. They're currently doing the lazy ass podcast over on Instagram. Go ahead and follow the lazy ass podcast. Y 'all, if you're listening, go show our guys some love. Jeff, you should check them out. This is going to be joining us at some point. Excellent. So jump on Instagram and go follow the lazy ass podcast and check them out. They're live right now.

Speaker: I'm going to end the show. We've done Matt James. We shout out our guy Saturday night. I'm going to have his brand new song. So the two songs I played already tonight and his new song, Runaway, that's going to be our music for Saturday night. But I'm going to wrap the show up with a Black Top Mojo song. Check out Black Top Mojo on all social media wherever you stream music at Black Top Mojo and check out Matt James, lead singer of Black Top Mojo on all social media.

Speaker: at Matt James. Go show the guys some love speaking on social media. Go ahead and check us out, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. Join us live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays, 7 p .m. on YouTube and Twitch.

Speaker: And if you can't join us live, go ahead and listen to all the replays on Spotify and everywhere you listen to podcasts at all at nonsensical nonsense podcast. You know, the drill. Follow us, like us, love us, share us. And with that being said, enjoy a little block top new gym. See what I have to deal with.

Speaker: It's a yesterday morning when we were fine But far we knew the world and if I told you We could go back to that moment again Would you drop everything, take my hand and follow

Speaker: Would you choose yesterday or tomorrow? Sunshine, morning light creeping in. Wildlife, I don't know what to say again. Is it losers? Better than the promise we give.

Speaker: I love you for some reason seems hollow

Speaker: There's no it's

Speaker: Would you choose?

Speaker: Oh

Speaker: Don't freak out if you think I'm wrong

Speaker: Take place

Speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, sorry, I was watching Lazy Ed's podcast. My bad, I don't know what I'm doing.

Speaker: Yeah. It's not like we're on a show or anything. Appreciate y 'all listening. Appreciate y 'all hanging out. We'll see you Saturday night with a brand new episode of Nonsenseical Nonsense. Until then, in the words of Tony D, you heard him rush to it earlier. Yeah. Mother had you. Motherfucker. Yeah. Oh boy. The big dog.

Speaker: He would tell you, bitches. Peace out, A -town down. And our very own member of the Munchkin Guild. Well, actually, I have a new one tonight. Well, actually, shut up. Let me finish. Go ahead. Member of the Munchkin Guild. A part of the Wookiee, not the Wookiee, the Ewok clan,

Speaker: and parcher oompa loompa. Jeffrey. I have a new one tonight. Oh my god. This better be good. It is actually. I actually literally like this. May you never steal, lie, or cheat. But if you must steal and steal away my sorrows. If you must lie, lie with me all night with my life. And if you must cheat, then cheat death because I could never live without you.

Speaker: and he's out. I like that. I actually saw that today and I was like, I like that. Yeah, I have to say that Jeff. That's not what you said last night. You still the catcher and I'm the pitcher.

Speaker: Well, ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry you had to you had to live through that and that's 30 seconds to your life that you'll never get back. Much like the three hours of the show, you'll never get back, but OK. Well, we're all part of this train wreck, so. You can't put don't put this evil on me, Ricky Bobby. Be good or be good at it.

Speaker: Goodbye, motherfuckers. Bye. Hit the button! What's in the button?