Transcript
Speaker: Do you know what it's like when you wanna go cry But you can't let out all the feelings inside So you lay in your bed under blankets And how do you let people know that you feel it just fine And your pillow gets stained with the tears that you cried And you're praying nobody comes in And that's why the redness is already taking your rise And you wish you could hide it but there's no disguise in it Cry, let it all out
Speaker: If I had to be completely honest with myself... I'm tired. I'm...
Speaker: I'm tired. It's not a physical tired. It's a very, you know, it's in the soul. It's like I'm fucking tired. I'm tired of going through this shit. I'm tired of, tired of everything not working out. And I'm just like, I fucking tried. And it's a, I can't not lie and say it's not a, it's not like you don't want to live kind of thing. It's more of a, if God were sitting across from me right now.
Speaker: there would be a part of me that would just want to go up to him and say, listen, I'm done. I'm done. I'm not. I can't do this anymore. I'm just, I'm fucking physically and mentally spent and I'm done. And it's a, it's a silent battle too. Um, and it's a, it's a battle kind of hide from the world and from the people we love and the people we want to love or want to love us because
Speaker: Who wants a broken person? You know, it's like, if they knew, like, if the people in your life knew how broken we were, like, would they stay? And then that raises the question of like, how do I fix this? Can you fix this? I don't know.
Speaker: I can't hide myself I don't expect you to understand I just hope I can't explain What it's like to be a man It's a lonely room And they don't care about what you know It's not about how you feel But what you provide inside that home
Speaker: You can't always evolve to expectations you try to Please everybody while you struggle so you fake it And end up out of balance compromising situations as a good man
Speaker: You might find yourself feeling all alone Inside a house you built that you don't recognize as home And that's what my daddy told me, and I'll tell my son the same Now that I'm older, I relate and I actually feel his pain He never cried, he might've lied, but he did not complain And he said, son, one day you'll have to do the same I'll get emotional when I stop and think and I look around
Speaker: Beyond the county lines of my small town I think about all the men out there who feel like I do now Who are screaming on the inside but won't ever move
Speaker: Keep fighting, as a man our sun is our horizon And our fathers actions play a role, then we end up like em So they can't let us see them hurt, cause we'll embody what they do And start a generational curse, no wonder most men are so depressed All the things that they can't express They go to war, get thrown on the shelf and go back to war
Speaker: that bottle and ask for help try to pull themselves out of hell then fall back down and then realize that they gon' have to do it themselves it's the circle of life as a man you provide they don't know what you're worth till the day that you're dying that's when they start crying then move on to a man you confided
Speaker: It's not about how we feel or what we feel Inside that hole Inside that hole
Speaker: here we are welcome welcome welcome ladies and gentlemen it is monday night and you know what that means we've got our mental health men's caring for men podcast show tonight in the house we've got steven as always hey yo and of course beautiful lovely eye candy himself con
Speaker: So, welcome to Monday Night Show. Go ahead and shout out to our friends over at Zencaster. I actually had something up for them, but go check them out. If you're thinking about starting your own podcasting gig or anything of this sort, go hop on zencaster .com.
Speaker: They're gonna be your all -in -one destinations where you can get monetized, do your editing, and do your shows, do your lives, everything all together in one place. Come check us out on Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays, because we have a show on every single day and we have a show for everybody.
Speaker: Monday nights is this show. It's going to be our men's mental health podcast. Tuesday night is Jeff's garage with Jeff and usually he's got one or two with him. I want to say Benji's usually his number two. And then Wednesday night we have what the fuck news with Glick, myself, Steven sometimes and Jeff sometimes.
Speaker: And then on Friday nights or no, Thursday night, I completely skipped over, uh, talking with our friends, Brian and, uh,
Speaker: Mark, I wanted to say Matt. And then on Friday nights, on like the second and fourth Friday of every month, Glick does his music show, Glick's House of Music, and he dives into the nitty gritty and he has some fun listening and jamming out to some tunes.
Speaker: Saturday nights is our flagship show Nonsense go nonsense. It's how the whole network got started with Gallic Jeff at myself usually Steven and usually at least two other people where we have our open door challenge Feel free to hop in if you have the stones and Sunday night nobody gives a Sunday night is a Stevens podcast
Speaker: Fair enough, fair enough. I would highlight your comment, but unfortunately, even though I'm running the show tonight, I don't have admin privileges. Anyway.
Speaker: I love being a baby about that. But anyway, on Sunday nights, go see our friend Steven right there. Our friend for his Jarvis project, where he goes in does a deep dive on movies. I don't know is your fucking show. Maybe you could talk about your own fucking show and kind of hype yourself up. Well, on Sundays,
Speaker: as always until, you know, me, Glick and, you know, Jeff get together and start because there's going to be a little bit of a rebrand. But I can't say anything until, you know, the powers that be and also the powers that I stroke off a lot. Connor wishes, but it's the Jarvis podcast. Everything's about culture, movies, TV shows. And if you're looking for social media links, go check out the social media links at bio.
Speaker: link slash nonsensical network. And Connor forgot one important thing. When you go on Zencaster, use our code. Words are hard. Good point. And you get like 20 % off. I think it is. Yeah, I want to say it's like a 10 or 20 % discount. It's it's it's a nice little chunk off. If you're planning on doing podcast, hop, podcasting, hop over to them and get your shit taken care of. We're here to help you out. We want you to be a part of the family.
Speaker: Yeah, exactly. Connor, what are we talking about today? Steven, tonight we're talking about confidence, something that a lot of men, including myself, a lot of the time, and based off of what I've seen, Jarvis, you definitely fit in the group. Confidence and lack thereof, and sometimes too much of it. But we'll get into that as the show goes on. Honestly, tonight we are, we are glickless in case you haven't noticed.
Speaker: Uh, we are missing honestly, and I hate to say it, but we're missing a large part of our Monday night show, which is Christopher Timothy Glick. Uh, I have no idea what his actual middle name is, but I think that's going to work for now. Yeah, I know it sucks that we don't have him here, but it's, it's good to not have to listen to him call himself the champ for three hours straight.
Speaker: But we'll start off the same way that we always do. Steven, buddy, how's your week been? Pretty good. I thought it was kind of weird that, you know, Glick was offering to give us the day off and all of a sudden Connor, you know, messages me about almost 11 minutes ago and says, hey, you want to do a show tonight? And I'm just like, uh.
Speaker: sure, you know, why not? And Connor's like, Are you sure we can do this? And I'm like, Connor, I have no doubt that you can do this. Maybe. No doubt that you can do this. I mean, I mean, let's be honest, Glick is kind of
Speaker: pushing it towards you being the host. Me and Glick have talked about, he's like, so what do you think about Connor taking over? And I'm like, dude, I'm all for it. I just said if Connor was ready, I'm there if he wants me there, or if he wants bringing his own team, so be it. I can help out anyway I can. Oh, Steven, I love having you on the show. When I start to feel bad about myself when I'm talking about my own mental health, I get to just shit on you. And my day gets immensely better.
Speaker: It's great. I would never get rid of my beautiful punching bag. Well, beautiful is a strong term, but I would never get rid of my punching bag. Well, hey, I appreciate it. So confidence, and maybe I could have thrown in self -esteem in there, maybe. I don't know. I don't know if we ever did a show on self -esteem before. I think those are kind of... Go hand in hand. Synonyms, essentially. But I feel like we were in the middle of learning about how your week went and you're just avoiding the question.
Speaker: Oh, I'm pretty good. Um, Sunday, I kind of took a day off. I know I got grief from it. You know, everyone's like, Oh, geez, why do you take a day off? And I'm like, Okay, calm down. Brian have taken more days off than I have on this fucking network. Okay, I need to take any more days off in the last week than you have in the last six years. That's same. Gotcha, Mark. What about your name now, Matt?
Speaker: I feel like he's gonna come in on Wednesday show or Thursday show and fucking a hill and they have it being the mat Instead of mark just to fuck with every honestly. There's there's got to be a way that we can lock his name in oh I can fuck with them. I am mad or that or that you you can do it. I I can't Not seeing any names Okay
Speaker: Yeah, click, but no confidence. And even with me lately, I feel like my confidence has been slipping and I don't know why I really don't. And I've been on helping with this show.
Speaker: helping with
Speaker: wanted me to be on the first show and I was very proud of Jeff asking me but at the same time I felt like after a while it's like okay I'm doing the Monday now I'm doing a Tuesday and Wednesday we all saw what happened our first Wednesday Jesus H Christ and then also hopping on Saturday and my confidence after like Wednesday was just like okay I'm beating my head against a wall
Speaker: Maybe we just need to stop shitting on you so much. I try and bring you up every once in a while, but then I gotta like put you back in your fucking place. Oh, I know. It's kind of like you, you know, I feel like you shit on me enough. And then I'm just like, how am I supposed to shit on Connor? Because, you know, my knee, hand, eye coordination and walking coordination isn't the best. But then when someone keeps saying, oh, hey, Connor falls down a step, it's like, I feel like we're kind of like,
Speaker: You know, I mean, it's the thing about fruit after. Yeah. But that's the thing about making fun of me is that it really is low hanging fruit. I mean, you're making fun of a cripple. Good job. Good job, Dickhead. Where's the where's the fucking meme, Jeff? Way to go, Dickhead. But yeah, yeah, no, maybe we just need to shit on your left. You are not Johnny on the spot with the memes tonight, homeboy. I need you to. OK, you know what? If you're going to be if you're going to co -host for me.
Speaker: sell down there. But no, I hope that we're not actually a player in that confidence booster or lack thereof. No. Honestly, it's
Speaker: I don't know like once I graduated from school and all that that's been fucking with my head not getting in that game and then you know just being able to you know talk one -on -one with Glick and Jeff and of course you fucking Mark and Brian you know their heads are in the fucking cloud so it's hard to get a range on their fucking plans but I mean it's just been it's been hectic you know trying to get everything so far
Speaker: building it up, starting this network has been a challenge. But I mean, at the same time, we all got growing brains and you know what it's going to be for the better, you know.
Speaker: I can't wait to see what this network ultimately becomes. But I think we have the right team involved. And that's the thing. Yeah. I think that the network has a good base to start from. I think that we're starting from a pretty firm foundation. I'm not worried about the network at all. I think it's going to grow. And I think it's going to get bigger and bigger until we can't fucking handle it anymore. And then we're just going to have to do it.
Speaker: If if if it comes to like when it comes to like podcasting and being on the shows and stuff I don't think that you should have a lack of confidence at all I think that you don't you do a really good job first of all and you really do you eat the shit that the shit sandwiches that we hand you uh and you take it within without mustard so uh yeah yeah
Speaker: Well, also with that, you know, with the whole confidence thing, it's like, then you also have to do a show on Sunday where it's just like you're pretty much trying to, okay, what have I already talked about? Am I having guests on? And that's why with this new show that's coming soon, like I'm so shocked and surprised by it, but like me, Glick and
Speaker: Jeff said, we're going to pump the brakes a little bit. We're going to talk more privately about it, see gauge interest and what's ultimately going to be it. And then also ultimately like Glick offered to be co -host, but at the same time, like I told Glick, I'm like, dude, you already do enough.
Speaker: I want to bring in my own co -host. He needs to step back a little bit, not so much for the show's sake, but for his own sake. He's driving himself crazy. Well, that is the ultimate goal, is he wants to kind of hand this show off to you like he's said multiple times on the show.
Speaker: And I've told them, I'm like, I think Connor's ready. You know, we're going to have growing pains, you know, and you as a host is going to have growing pains, but ultimately your confidence is going to keep getting better and better. And bro, you've had some great, great ideas. You have.
Speaker: Oh, I always do. This brain don't work anymore, but it sure does. It's just a certain Sasquatch takes them all in this as it is. It's just abstract thought. That's all it is. I don't I don't I don't think like normal people anymore. Yeah. So how is your week been, Connor? It's been it's been the closest thing to hell on earth that I could I could think of. No, I've been having some struggles, honestly. Oof.
Speaker: I mean, I've just kind of been feeling like shit lately. It's hard to be a stay at home fucking dad after, after doing what I've been doing for like the last nine years and just turn everything off. But it's, it's been a, it's been a ride of a week and it's been busy and it's been slow all at the same time. And a lot of.
Speaker: Ironically a lot of confidence issues a lot of things that I'm I'm trying to deal with and Actually got got bad enough to the point where I skipped out on my therapy appointment That I was supposed to have on Wednesday because I was like fuck this dude. I just don't even want to talk to you like not not the issue and and She is a phenomenal therapist. She she does a great job of
Speaker: And, you know, I would, I would never talk poorly about her. It's just the, sometimes, I mean, you're, you're in like a pit and you kind of want to wallow in it for a second. And you almost don't want to, don't want to hear the positive talk because it just sounds like shit. And so it's not that I don't think that therapy is helping because I think it is. I just think that we're in the tougher stages of talking about certain things. Um,
Speaker: And it's made the last couple of weeks really hard. Um, so, you know, it's, it's been a, it's been a rough week and interesting week. It's been hard to be transparent with my family about, about some stuff. And fuck, I don't even want to be transparent with my therapist who I have no personal connection to. So I could tell her to fuck off and she'd be like, well, okay.
Speaker: but it's yeah it's just been it's been a lot it's been a lot of me kind of negative self -talking myself um thanks doing doing a lot of negative self -talk and and you know that's obviously counterintuitive and i know it is but you know sometimes it's hard to
Speaker: at least right now. It feels like it's impossible to drown it out and all the every time somebody says, you know, oh, you're you're good dad and you're you're not a lazy sack of **** and you know, you're not, you know, maybe you're not the same person you were but you know, you're getting better and and this that and the other and like they tell you all these things and you're just like, yeah, dude, **** off whatever. I've heard that for the last three years.
Speaker: I've heard that for X and X amount of time and it's just not, it's not getting anywhere. So it's been, it's been a rough week and I know that it's just, uh, it's something that's, that's going to be fleeting per usual. I mean, a lot of these, the, the, the tough times are always, uh, temporary. Oh yeah. I mean, and that's the thing, you know, what I've noticed with granted being, you know, 31 years old and dealing with this probably even before I knew I really, what I was dealing with.
Speaker: confidence always played a role in that whole mental health aspect for me, because it was just like, if I got A's in school, I never felt like I really did anything. So then I start my school work started plummet and pretty much I was okay with getting like D's and F's. Yeah.
Speaker: And like my parents would be so pissed off and they're just like, well, what's going on? Why aren't you excelling in school like you used to? And it's just like, honestly, I don't give a shit anymore. Yeah. And.
Speaker: My, of course, then of course, you know, we all hit that special stage of, you know, middle school where, you know, you start to like, you know, certain people and you like girls or you like men or you like this person or you like that person. That's when you found out you like transvestites.
Speaker: Fuck you, Connor. Come on, buddy, it's it's been 20 minutes and I haven't shit on you yet. Let's let's get I got to get on my game. Let's talk about literally watching this show tonight and probably going like, oh, God, like, get on, get on. Oh, Jesus. Abort, abort, abort. All he would do would be jump in here and fucking shit on it. So fucking. Yeah. Yeah, you heard me right. Like I said, fuck you. I ultimately think
Speaker: My confidence started hitting me when I was probably in third grade. Learning some of the things I learned in third grade was that, you know,
Speaker: as I've talked about many times, my dad wasn't my real dad. My real father had kind of abandoned me. And since then, like I even had talked with my therapist about that. And she's like, I could see that your confidence issues probably started right there, you know, because you feel like you're not good enough. You feel like you're inadequate. And I mean, even now with my wife, you know, I've known her for almost eight years now, been married for almost two. And it's like, I tell her all the time, it's like,
Speaker: Do, am I any good as a husband? Am I doing anything right? Is there a reason why people, you know, don't want to talk to me? Is there a reason why, you know, some people on her family talk to me and other people on her family don't talk to me. And it's in the same thing around with my family too. Yeah. I mean, that that's just because you're a gender. I don't think that you should be upset about your self -confidence when it comes to that. It's got nothing to do with that.
Speaker: I don't want you to get angry with me because it's all about looks, but it is all about looks. But yeah, I mean, when you get cut down early in life, it screws with your whole perception of reality. And my wife has dealt with similar but different issues from her childhood, and it completely changed who she was as a person.
Speaker: So I mean I don't think that you should feel in any way
Speaker: bad about yourself for having a different perception of reality than, than maybe some others. Then, then going through, if you're, if you're past at least some of it, going through that phase of, you know, I'm hurt and I just don't want to fucking talk to people and my self -confidence isn't high. And yeah, I'm cool with being an introvert that I'm not, I am kind of making assumptions about things, but that's usually the way that it goes is, you know, yeah.
Speaker: Brian's got a really good point. Well, I mean, with most of us, if it wasn't for our wives, let's be honest, most of us probably wouldn't be where we are today. Most of us would be pink mist on a wall covered by paint by now. Brian, you're absolutely right. I think that even my wife, despite
Speaker: some of the shit that I give her sometimes that's not necessarily deserved. She's still very much so in my corner and I use the verbiage all the time. She's a warrior woman. She deals with everything that gets tossed her way and she still comes around to pick me up and to build me up and to make it.
Speaker: it all better. And I'm sure Alyssa is similar. I've seen Alyssa sits next to you during the podcast and listens to you. My wife said, fuck you. I don't want to be anywhere near that shit. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. My wife does not listen unless you or Glick are in the show. She does not listen to my Sunday show, but at the same time, like I told her,
Speaker: And she's told me this, she's like, the reason I listened more to the men there, the Monday shows, the Wednesday shows, and even sometimes coming in on the Saturday shows is because she learns more about what we're dealing with. Yeah. Because ultimately, there's times where, you know, oh, definitely 100 % mark, like,
Speaker: I'm so glad that this network thing didn't happen like early on because I honestly don't think I'm gonna be in the apartment. Somebody needs to take a fucking slug to the brain. Thank you for fucking driving any faster, cocksucker. That was loud. That was loud as fuck. If he was driving fast, he was doing it.
Speaker: doing it from a long way away. Alyssa ultimately saved my life because I mean I had went through and you know I know that it's been a big source of topic because when I told Mark I knew a fact that Brian was gonna ask and I knew fucking Glick was gonna ask yes at one point I did think about getting into porn no it wasn't because I have a horse cock is what Wes thought I had or that's because I
Speaker: I told him that that's what it was. My assumption is everybody else on the show is very extroverted and very open. And I have a feeling that we're all just compensating. And you've just got a massive elephant cock that you're hiding from the world. And you're just like, I don't want to talk about it. Let me see it. No. No.
Speaker: Maybe that's why Glick feels inadequate around me. Yeah, that's exactly right. Glick's gonna comment like, fuck you Jarvis. I'm sure Glick's probably blowing a tranny somewhere. I don't care. But no, I wanted to do it because I had no confidence. And honestly, at that point in my life, dating for me was horrible because I fucking just went for women that had the looks.
Speaker: And I wasn't thinking to myself that, you know, Hey, maybe this ain't the right woman for you, Steven. Yeah. And when I, I had the contract in hand was ready to sign it. And all of a sudden I got a message from the woman that is now my wife. When, and the saddest thing was I met her online on meet me, which if that's still a site, thank you. Meet me. Um,
Speaker: But no, like I had literally gotten to the point where I had just sent her a message where it was like one thing. Hi. And that was it. And that's what real they're in.
Speaker: I mean, if I could literally show people those text messages after we had started to date, everyone would have said, you need to leave this guy. But like, I would be texting her or calling her while she was going to class and being like, you know what, Alyssa, I don't think I'm going to make it. I can't do this stuff. You know, I know I have to go to work, but I don't feel like I can go through and do this. I feel inadequate. I feel like everyone's talking to me at work. And she's like, Steven.
Speaker: First of all, pump the brakes. It's your mental health affecting your confidence and affecting who you are. And so ultimately, that's what got me through the day was just her telling me, you got this. Like, honestly, I never thought in my lifetime, one, I'd be married and two, I'd be married to the woman that
Speaker: She wasn't the first woman to let me touch her Glick. So fuck you. She was the second. You get it right. You're off by like four. Mom was first. Hugs. Me. Mom was second. I got kisses on the cheek. I'm not from fucking Alabama. I'm from Minnesota. Well, Southern Canada. So probably maybe the same thing. The Alabama of Canada.
Speaker: But no, that's how it all started. And then Alyssa just kind of wasn't like a drill instructor, but she kind of took what was already there and built me up. And like, Mark could tell you all the people that were trying to tear that shit down. And I mean, when I said I wanted to do a podcast, I was immediately like, but no one would listen. And Alyssa's like,
Speaker: Why do you think that? And I'm like, because all I know is movies and sports and fucking all this shit that no one really gives a fuck about. And she's like, how about you do this, do one show and just see what happens. And I did the one show, I ended up liking it, but then I did the cardinal sin, I listened to it. And I ended up going like, oh fuck, I hate this. Like I hated my voice and. Me too.
Speaker: One of the biggest things that I learned, and I know there's a lot of people that are out there that are like, well, you should re -listen to your stuff. And I was always like, no.
Speaker: Yeah. Never listen to your own stuff because even if you're not someone that isn't a perfectionist, you're going to become a perfectionist and you're going to nitpick everything you do. Or you just become critical of all the things that you do and then become hyper aware of them on your next go around. Yeah. And that's what happened to me.
Speaker: Yeah, and then it will mess with your confidence. All that does is bring it down and then your next show isn't gonna be as good as your previous show because you're too worried about making a silly mistake that one, either nobody notices it or two, it's a good part of the show and you're cutting it out because you're nervous about it because you didn't wanna put yourself out there but you did and now you're like, fuck. Well, that's why I refuse to watch the Monday night shows because I get vulnerable.
Speaker: And I hate, I hate being vulnerable and I hate doing that to myself. So like, yeah, no, never, never really listen to your shit. What are you stupid or something? Was this your first time? And, uh, exactly, Mark and, and me and Mark.
Speaker: Talk about humble beginnings me and him had done Started two shows the first one was I think Stephen Jarvis reviews and the poor boys That was marks first attempt into podcasting where we didn't let you Brian. Stephen was your first No, Brian already knows that but With poor boys It pretty much we didn't know where to wait and go and
Speaker: And Brian, I hate to break it to you. Most of my stuff was live before all this. It's just, I ended up getting into a prerecorded bench fix and that, it was stupid to even do that. But ultimately when Mark started working on the show a little bit, oh yeah, it was. When Mark was like, okay, how about this?
Speaker: We tried the Poor Boys podcast for a little bit, and then ultimately it didn't go anywhere. And so then I went back to my own show, well then Alyssa's like, you know what you need? You need a cohost.
Speaker: And at first it was Alyssa. Well, then, uh, Alyssa got some negative feedback one time and I knew it was going to happen. She decided to take it, you know, literal like we all do because we're all here and we see a negative comment and it's like, Oh, fuck you. You think you're better than us? Come on here and try it. But at the end of the day,
Speaker: At the end of the day, she decided she didn't want to do it. And she's like, you should ask Mark. Well, then in came Mark. And Mark retooled a lot of the show until ultimately, once we did get onto our first network, we decided and Mark had already said, hey, you know, I'm thinking of doing my own thing and I'm bringing in my friend. Well, that was Brian. And then they became talking shit and I was doing my own thing.
Speaker: And so honestly, if it wasn't for probably my wife, well, mostly my wife and then Mark's wife, and I'm sure Brian's wife, I don't think any of us would have been in this game of podcasting because I can say for myself, I had no idea what I was doing and had no fucking confidence whatsoever. Like I was like, who would want to listen to me?
Speaker: And now we're right here on this new network that we're all trying to build together. And like we said, the sky's the fucking limit. You know, the only, the only reason this fails is if we let our egos get too big chunk. Just I'm giving you shit. Like, yeah, well, no, you're a hundred percent right. I think that the, the problem that we have.
Speaker: as people, not just as men, not just as podcasters or whatever the hell you're doing in life is listening to the comment section. Sometimes that comment section is coming from yourself. It's re -listening to your own podcast. It's saying, God, you're such a fucking piece of shit. And I feel bad because I'm up here and
Speaker: Yeah, I feel bad because I'm on the show right now, and I'm having just the worst couple weeks mentally. And I've been doing this to myself for like the last two weeks. It's just negative self -talk.
Speaker: You'll listen to that comment section in your head and you're just saying you're such like you're such a piece of shit. You're lazy. You're fat. You don't do anything. All you're good for is babysitting and fucking yard work and dishes and fucking housework. Like that's all you're good for right now. Way to go. You're a sack of shit. And that's the comment section that's going off. And well, that's what's going off in my head. I shouldn't say your head. But, you know, that's the comment section that plays every day. And the problem is we give it too much power.
Speaker: and we sit there and we nitpick ourselves. And it's not just listening to the haters or whatever. I think that it's, at least as I grew up, as I got older, and I say that as a 26 -year -old, but as I grew up and kind of figured out that people hide their own insecurities in negative talk towards others, it just doesn't fucking matter what the haters say. It just doesn't. Fuck them.
Speaker: The biggest issue that I run into it isn't other people. It's listening to my fucking self You know You're never gonna get this you're never gonna get gonna get rid of this This is the rest of your life way to go way to go you fuck this up. You're a terrible fucking dad You can't stop yelling at your kids. You cussed at your kid the other day quit being a fucking piece of shit that you know be better You know you're better than this quit being a quit being a bitch could be in this that and the other and I think that also kind of stems from that
Speaker: that almost cliche idea of what a man is as well, is that strong authority figure who's also well put together and never loses his mind and never has these stressors that let's show. And then I don't know what it is with me lately, but it just feels like it's been all coming to a fucking head and it's just gone straight through my fucking brain. So yeah.
Speaker: I mean, and that's the thing. And I agree 100 % with Mark. That's why I play video games too. Lately, I've been going out for walks when it's not fucking 85 degrees out. And I'll have my headphones in like I love walking with my wife, but like I told her I'm like, I need my headphones in because usually when I go for a walk, that's when all the fucking
Speaker: the demons, as I call them, start talking. And I mean, when I first told my wife about those demons, you want to talk about a big relief when she was like, well, we'll take them on together, you know, and that's, that's the thing. I think a lot of people that have a significant other that are like, Hey, I don't know what's going on inside your head, but you know what? Just know I'm here for you. And so it becomes that thing, like,
Speaker: Maybe I'm not able to tell Alyssa a lot of things, but at the times when I'm having my worst fucking times or moments, she's always there to be like, hey, you know, she doesn't say snap out of it. She goes, what are you doing right now? What's going on in your head? And when you start talking about that shit,
Speaker: It gets so much easier to get it off your chest. And Connor, let me tell you one of the first and foremost, you're not any of those bad things, man. You're not any of those negative things. You're a great person, man. It's hard to turn those voices off. I know that you and probably everybody who is or is not listening understands that. When you start hearing it yourself and hearing it from yourself, it's just hard to turn off.
Speaker: And it's hard to turn, you know, turn the music down. And, you know, things are just hard, man. I feel like it's hard to be transparent with my wife because I don't even want her to see some of this besides, like, God, what a faggot. Excuse me. I'm not allowed to say that word.
Speaker: But it's just it's just hard to turn those those voices off through myself for a loop. It's hard to turn those voices off and kind of say, you know, just because this is where you're at now, it doesn't mean that you can't progress, doesn't mean that you can't get better, doesn't mean that you can't be where you were. And it's just, man, it feels like I'm in the middle of an avalanche and I'm headed for the fucking bottom and I'm not excited about it.
Speaker: I'm pissed off and I feel bad cuz you know, we're a Wife sending me fucking Facebook marketplace shit. I'm like, I'm like looking at like, oh god is one of the kids dead now 350 foot pool. Cool. I don't care But it's just it's tough and the problem is I I
Speaker: I don't wanna be vulnerable right now. And I wish that I could just have, I wish that I could have one person just come kick me in the teeth and then grab me by the fucking hand and yank me up with them and just say, let's do it together. All right, you're fucking hurt. I'll be hurt with you. Let's do it together. You're at home babysitting. Let's do something positive together. Let's be progressive. And I'm not asking for help or asking for anybody to step in and fill that.
Speaker: It's the way that I've played my whole life up until now is a kick in the teeth is what I need sometimes. I have a feeling that it's right around the corner. And it always sucks. But yeah, I think it's definitely fucking with my confidence. And I can feel it. And my wife can see it. And she talked to me about it the other day.
Speaker: Or just down the stairs. Yep, no, that'll that'll work just fine. That's what I need is another sprained ankle or a broken vertebrae. That's that's that's what will make my day, Alyssa. Thanks. Appreciate it. Talking about low hanging fruit. Oh, good God. Yeah. God, we're never going to let that down.
Speaker: um but no like my wife fell down the stairs first to be fair i still won i i could see it like your wife being like yeah well you fell down the stairs yeah well you fell down the stairs first yeah well you said it on the podcast that's honestly that's that's my own fault that's what that's what i wish i could go get back on the podcast where i first said it and edit that edit that one part out and pretend like it never happened
Speaker: I could just see you in a fucking time machine going to that episode and just fucking knock on your cell phone. The next time you dumb motherfuckers say something about it, I'll just be like, where? Find the proof. Find it. Who am I kidding? Jeff's already got that clip in his fucking bag. He's been waiting on it. I can think of this Jeff putting your face on like Biden's fucking head and just fucking falling down the stairs or something. On her riding a bike.
Speaker: Connor climbing the stairs to get on a plane. Connor going down the stairs. Oh, he's dead. That episode. So is the joke not funny anymore? Like, is there a limit? There is no limit. And it's also that's the line. Yeah, definitely. That's that's the line. See, they fucking don't even have that one on this one. Well, maybe somebody with admin privileges should fix that.
Speaker: I would, but that's a lot of low hanging fruit that I got to go through. Honestly, at the end of the day, and that's the thing that people that see us doing this, they think we're, oh, we're beaming with confidence.
Speaker: Oh, man, we're rolling in the confidence. Fuck we are. We're literally doing this because honestly, it gets us out of our own fucking mind space. Yeah. Like everyone thinks Facebook is fucked. Go in our fucking heads like there's doctors out there. If they could ever read someone's thoughts, I would worry about them wanting to read ours. I think that it's just I just fucking hate myself, first of all. But
Speaker: that that
Speaker: Let's grab the 308 in a box of fucking rounds and we're going for a walk ladies and gentlemen But yeah, and that's gonna be that's gonna be what the lawyers are gonna go ahead and clip that and that'll be part of my indictment Call me call allegedly allegedly he wanted to do this. Yeah, no, and I I'm gonna do is give somebody some hush money and Then somebody's probably gonna give me a gag order
Speaker: Glitch probably watching this like, what the fuck have I unleashed? Oh, this is a train wreck. This is an absolute train wreck. I feel like... I'm gonna laugh when this is like our fucking most viewed fucking thing. Why? Why? Oh, it is. Also, who said hi, Jeff? That was me. Why? I thought it was Jeff. Calm fucking down. I'm sorry, I'm...
Speaker: Good God. I'm trying to avoid the topic of tonight, even though it's the topic of tonight. It's I'm cool with being vulnerable about certain things, but Jesus Christ, like I said, man, it's just been it's been a hell of a couple of weeks. And I feel like I'm starting to feel what what Glick was saying a little while ago when it was it was just me and him on the podcast and he was on on a Monday night. And he was like, honestly, I just I fucking hate myself. And I feel bad being on the show.
Speaker: I'm right there, dude. I feel like such a jackass being on here trying to tell other people how they can make their life better when I'm sitting here fucking Ready to put one in my fucking between my ears. So Well, at least mark thinks we're doing a good job clicks Mark your bias. Oh, no, we'll get shit on on Wednesday night. Just you wait. Oh
Speaker: just to wait, just to wait. Is it on for break yet? Jesus Christ. No, no, it's not. We're getting there. podcast feels so much longer when it's only two. It's only two. Definitely. And especially with like this topic and trying to
Speaker: get like people to understand like what we go through with like confidence and self -esteem issues like that that's the thing when a when a national words are hard when a national athlete or like a spokesperson's like yeah I got you yeah when they say oh I have mental health everyone wants to jump on that fucking bandwagon but true
Speaker: People that aren't fucking making millions gone like oh, I hurt myself. Oh a splinter You know, I gotta be out for the year
Speaker: That's the other thing is I, man, I just feel almost, I almost feel wrong having this show because it feels like a bandwagon. And we've talked about it before on the show is we, I mean, we use all of the, the dumb cliche catch phrases that everybody hates, right? Triggers. We've replaced it with stuff points, hashtag stuff point hashtag. Thank you, Dr. Hans. But like,
Speaker: We use all of those cliches and the silly things in it. It's hard to not feel like we're just trying to hop on.
Speaker: on the bandwagon of, oh, mental health, and oh, I'm a pussy, and oh, this, that, and the other, and oh, I'm looking to bitch and cry and whine and moan, and I feel bad about this show sometimes. Like, we're just sitting on here coming on whine and complaining, but at the same time, I'm hoping that it's actually helpful for somebody other than just the people who are running the show. I hope that there is somebody out there that is listening that this
Speaker: Maybe feels, makes them feel like they're not alone. If anything else, if, if it can't help you and actually make you feel a little bit better, maybe make you feel a little less alone. Um, yesterday, yesterday was a good day. I won't go into the nitty gritty of what, uh, actually I won't even say who it was. Uh, me and a certain somebody, uh, had a very good conversation and it wasn't that it made me feel any better about.
Speaker: my situation or what I've been going through for the last couple of weeks or, or anything like that. It was more so just like a, Hey dude, you're not alone in like the feelings that you have are valid. You know, and not that I give a fuck about your feelings, but like, it's, it's good to know that you're not the only person. Thank you, Mark. It's good. It's good to know that you enjoy the sound of my voice. Soothing songs from Connor and Steven.
Speaker: ASMR, ASMR. Did you develop a lift? Evidently. Oh, shit. I just broke my fucking ten. I might be I might be a little anxious tonight. I've been sitting here. I don't know if you guys I don't know if you guys can see it or if my hands have been out of out of sight. But like my big thing when I'm anxious or I'm nervous, I sit here and I'll wring my hands like they're like I'm bringing a wash water out of a washcloth. I sit here and I just do this.
Speaker: and this whole time I've been just fiddle fucking with fiddle farting with this goddamn pen and I just I just broke off the little little paper hook I'm such a jackass what a douche what a couple of fucking douche bags running a shitty ass podcast who let them on the nonsensical network such a great network ruined by two total dick wads well I mean it wouldn't be us but you know two other dick wads no kidding Mark
Speaker: Oh, Mark, do you need do you need some soothing sounds? Oh, my God. Break, do you need to be calm to sleep? Do you need to be calm to sleep? Shh. But not. And that's actually the thing, you know, like Connor's going like this under the desk. Yeah, I'm sitting there going like fucking this and looking out over like.
Speaker: Is that here? I will say that my personal confidence when it comes to being around other people, I really just don't give a fuck. I don't know if that's confidence so much as it's just a lack of caring what other people think. I don't give a damn. Think I'm ugly? All right, cool. What matters is what I think. That's what me and my family think.
Speaker: And that's a tough pill to swallow. I'm not going to say that. I'm not a shitty dad. I am a dad who is working on himself, and I am struggling at doing so. And I feel bad because my kids get caught sometimes in the way of it. Don't get me wrong. I don't beat my children, even though I feel like I should, and it would keep them in line so much better. Oh my god. But at the same time,
Speaker: I've gone fucking ballistic and nuts and just completely lost my cool around my kids and I feel terrible because I Care what they think if I lost my shit on some stranger that I was walking past on the road Like I don't give a fuck how pretty or handsome or attractive or whatever the fuck you are how popular you are You could be Johnny fucking Ringo. I don't care
Speaker: Like, think what you want about me. I care about what my family and my kids think and my wife thinks and my parents think. I hope that my parents think I'm a good son and that I'm doing my best to be a good father and a good husband. And I feel bad sometimes because I don't give my wife the attention that I think she deserves. And I get these stupid, bitchy thoughts in my head about, yeah, why don't you fucking take the trash out every once in a while? Why don't you do this? Why do I always have to do this, that, and the other?
Speaker: I forget myself and I forget the things that she does do. And I feel like I come off as a jackass. And the people who matter to me are the people whose opinions matter to me. And so I would say when it comes to being out on the street and being an extrovert or an introvert or whatever, sure, you could call me an extrovert, but it's not because I'm actually extroverted. I just don't give a flying fuck what you think. Yeah.
Speaker: Well, and that's the ultimate thing, you know, being able to tell yourself that, hey, you know, these people think I'm this person, but ultimately people know a different side of who I am because, you know, let's be honest, when you're out in public, people will tear you down. And that's the biggest fucking problem with people with mental health is that we don't say, you know what, them motherfucker don't even know who I am. Like it's.
Speaker: And I hate bringing up this woman because, you know, she's the pain of my existence, but I got a woman way across town. My mother -in -law, she stents day one, has not given a fuck about who I am, but has made it her mission to pretty much tear me down anytime I'm over there. And that's why, like, I told my wife a lot of times, I'm like, unless it's a holiday or something, I don't feel like being there anymore because ultimately,
Speaker: It's just, yeah, it's someone else's opinion of me. But at the same time, it's like when you've been beaten down your whole fucking life, that shit sticks with you right up here in your head. And like, we, as people with mental health, when we talk about confidence, it's like,
Speaker: we want to reprogram ourselves so that we could be like some of these more confident motherfuckers like, let's be honest, people that public speak, you know, they can get up there in front of whole businesses in front of a whole conference and just rattle off shit like it's nothing. And then they can go home and snort their seven lines of fucking coke or G feel or whatever, or double energy won't knock it till you try it. All I could think of is the wolf of Wall Street where he's doing the
Speaker: What do you think I do before I get on the podcast every night? The whole reason I've been yawning is because I haven't done speed yet tonight. Yeah, this desk probably has more coke on it than, anyway.
Speaker: I mean, talk about public speakers. I mean, the reason that they're good at public speaking is one that they were not good at it to begin with. No, nobody was good at it to begin with. The podcasters, the fucking Joe Rogan probably sucked in his first podcast. Yeah. Yeah. You fucking heard me. Joe Rogan didn't even have a podcast yet. Lick's not here. So I'm going to fucking tell you, come on our show and tell us how to show.
Speaker: Tell us that you were, yeah, that's what I said. What did you think I said? Yeah, no, we weren't talking about illicit drugs. No, no. Sorry, hold on one second. Oh, God, sorry. What the fuck are you doing? I don't know. We're ruining the show! Oh, okay, yeah, I'm no one ruining it. We both have ruined the show. It's like, it's probably gonna be less fun. Oh, hey, look. Steven, we're only four minutes from our first break. I'm so happy.
Speaker: What can, what can I do in the meantime? Uh, no, I mean the, the people who get up in front of others and fucking Jesus, I don't know why I couldn't think of it. Uh, public speakers that are really good at what they do sucked at it the first time when they did it the next time. And they were probably a little bit better and a little bit better and a little bit better. I mean, it's like anything, but the reason that they're good at it is because they don't care if they embarrass themselves.
Speaker: And Mark, to answer your question, no, that's usually what Glick does before he gets on. Alyssa, if we have Connor singing, then you know what that means? That means that this show becomes something it's not. And that's American Idol, because let's be honest, that motherfucker can sing better than most of us ever could. Even better than Glick. Fuck you. My wife just walked in here, heated.
Speaker: Not because of the podcast. No, no, no, no, no. She walked in here and accused me of eating her bugles. She walked in here like the fucking the fat Mountain Dew guy. Let me smell your breath. You bugle eating bitch. So that's that's part of that's part of the reason it's been rough for me lately is she's just she's the worst.
Speaker: You know, you know, you can designate Nicki, you know what you could do. You could. You can't hear you. I got my headphones on and I will never let her listen to you. I mean, I was trying to say because you're a prick, Jarvis. You don't watch the show, don't lie. Don't lie to the people. I mean, Alyssa, it's not shame on Connor for eating something that's right. And I didn't fucking eat her bugles. We've got three little shits who I guarantee
Speaker: One of our two things that we created that have a wiener between their legs, one of those two eight. And if I had to guess, I'd say it's the oldest one because he's grown like a fucking weed and I can't convince him to stay out of the pantry. I'm going to put a padlock on the fucking thing. Fuck off. Listen, I might be depressed, but I'm in the stage where I'm not eating, not the other way around.
Speaker: I don't eat. No, the only thing that I eat that you say is yours is the fucking chip dip. And we shared it the other night. So I don't want to hear it. And the reason it was gone was because there was just a little teeny tiny bit left. And I finished it off. You're welcome. Now you can go buy a whole new 10. Yeah, yeah, no, I'm going to have an I'm going to have an argument with my wife on the podcast. Stephen, go to break if you want to. Fuck you and your chip dip.
Speaker: I forgot where we were at. I can't, I can't. Is that Bailey Kimmett? Is that my cousin? Hang on. I think it does. Holy shit. My cousin's listening to me. Well, I was confident before now. But no. All right, we're going to take a break while Connor and his wife argue. So
Speaker: With that, don't forget to go check out bio .link slash, fucking Jesus Christ, I'm fucking off my A game today because usually -
Speaker: where you will find all our social medias, including how many shows we have. And that is right. We have shows on Monday, which is Men Caring for Men. We have shows on Tuesday, which is Jeff's Garage. Wednesday, we have What the Fuck News. Thursday, we have Talking...
Speaker: Friday, well, let's be honest, it's more like every once a month fucking... Oh, let me get a fucking jackass, Steven, and finish the goddamn part. Saturday, we have nonsensical nonsense, and Sunday, we have the very own, the sexy, the Jarvis podcast. And we're actually going to go with a song
Speaker: Oh, is that where we're going, Lord? I'm glad that you said that. I'm a county jail revival. I'm a bottle in the Bible. I'm a rolling stone disciple with a cross across my face. I'm a trailer park tornado, jagged inches on my halo. Hope the cherry hit go swing low and carry me away. This little light of mine
Speaker: and they burned me alive Lord knows that mama tried and I don't know we're fine
Speaker: It gets progressively worse, try your best to reverse Unsuccessfully flirting with certain death and reverting To your pro -methazine urge, the fucking devil he lurks Lose your best for any smirks, wake up and everything hurts And as you spiral downward, listen I know just how it is when you start slow Then before you notice it, now you're mixing Oxies without prescription, call medicine valiant with them But ain't that how addiction sort of works? They call it lean, cause you gravitate and lean So is the perk, the blessing or the curse Of fame, cause now you can afford to serve
Speaker: need a Xanax not a rap so you pop it for you record a verse your bars wear down yeah like a rabbit out of hat makes you want to pull your
Speaker: Boxy, boxy, cordon a lien is probably what got no peep and ODB So many who ODB Way too young to go see me I was lucky, my escape was narrow in due Now think I take it for granted that I'm still here synthetic heroin you tried to kill me then you murdered Jared didn't you? Piece of shit, thanks to you now we lost gangsta pooing pimpsie prints and Michael Nixon nightbook prescription rights addictions like a fucking vicious cycle choose we will forever miss you to the younger generation I ain't lecturing you but man just be careful
Speaker: Oh, welcome back. Oh my goodness, it is quite the night tonight. We are missing our mainstay, our beautiful, I guess, co -host now, Christopher Timothy Glick, that's his new middle name. But we got Steven in the building and the beautiful eye candy myself.
Speaker: per usual on our Monday night. This is the Men Caring for Men podcast. I want to go ahead and give a shout out to our sponsor over at Zencaster. If you're thinking about doing any sort of recording or podcast or show, go over to Zencaster where you're all in one ultimate podcasting platform. They've bundled up podcast, all your podcasting needs, record everything, edit it, distribute it, monetize it all from the same platform and make sure that you use
Speaker: Yeah, so so use easiest ask watch can use it. Make sure you use our code when you when you go there. It's going to be words are hard.
Speaker: I don't know if there's a hashtag in front of that or not. Stephen's correct me. Okay. See, this is why he's here. It's because I fail at everything. Tonight we are talking about confidence or lack thereof. Stephen's kind of gone into it a little bit. We talked about how our weeks have been. It's like blowing my brains out. So it's going pretty well so far.
Speaker: Tonight's podcast is definitely a little bit off -kilter. We are struggling our way through our first podcast that is just me and Steven, and it is lovely. I'll be honest, it hasn't been that bad. But I'll be honest, on the break, I definitely messaged Rock Lee, and I was like, hey.
Speaker: I was like, hey, Rock, can you can you come up in the show and just add some more words so that because I feel like I feel like we're getting to the point where we're running out of things to say. Yeah. And it's only it's only been an hour. It's too it's too early to end this. Nah, yeah. Even though we started an hour late, which is which is my fault and Steven's fault, but probably mostly my fault. No, it's Glick's fault because he didn't want to do the show tonight. Well, he doesn't need to do the show now.
Speaker: And we love you, Glick, and hopefully, you know, your vagina sounds better. Speak for your fucking self. I think my wife has some vagisil I can send to you. All I can think of is the vagisil is from fucking me, myself, and Irene, where Jim Carrey turns into Hank. But no, yeah, confidence, if you have it,
Speaker: proud for you if you don't good luck because it seems like nowadays if you're not that typical alpha male like a fucking certain dickhead that tells you that if you're not making six figures you're not driving tesla you're not driving lambos and all that shit
Speaker: that you're not nothing. And we're here to tell you that you are something even if you don't listen to Andrew Tate. There's his name. Fuck you, Andrew Tate. Screw you and your high confidence morale bullshit. Well, I don't like the guy, but I got to give him credit. He's got a hell of a fucking following and a hell of a show. Him and his brother do, that's for sure. So I can't knock him too much. But that all being said, before my wife came in and so rudely interrupted with her bugle debacle,
Speaker: We were talking about public speakers and people and how people have common confidence. And how I think in my personal opinion, it just comes from a it stems from the lack of give a give a damn for what other people think.
Speaker: And I think that that is the most important thing. And I think that starting with what you think of yourself is how you gain that confidence. Once you are confident in yourself and you believe in yourself and you start listening to your own positive affirmations, then that is when you can start to stop caring what other people think. And as long as you have
Speaker: those in your corner as long as you care what they think and they think positively of you and you think positively of you that's where you can start to move forward and grow your confidence in an external way and care less about what other people think that should be a little bit more of an extrovert show yourself a little more and stop being so hidden and closed off. I think that at least in high school for me that was one of my bigger problems was
Speaker: not wanting to show myself and not wanting to, not wanting to embarrass myself, not wanting to be the laughingstock. And I cared a little bit too much what other people thought about me. And I didn't care enough about what my parents thought and what I thought of myself and what, I mean, I don't think that what your parents think is universal. Some people shouldn't give a damn what their fucking parents think about it. But what you think about yourself is important.
Speaker: And I struggled a lot when I was in high school. I was kind of shitty on the football team. I was OK at track and field. I wasn't a super extroverted guy. I had a friend circle, but I was one of those dudes who got along with everybody because I never wanted to hurt anybody's feelings. So I think that it all comes back to all stems from
Speaker: what you say when you talk to yourself. And we're not sponsored by them in any way, shape, or form. I have to look up the name of this book. But, yeah, the name of this book, and I have read it once before, and it has been years since I read it. Absolutely, 100 % percent.
Speaker: 100 per fucking cent. But I haven't read this book in years. It's a great book. It's a little dry, I'll be honest, but there's a book out there called What to Say When You Talk to Yourself by Shad Homesteader, who's a PhD in science where he actually goes into the science behind what you say when you talk to yourself, the affirmations that you give yourself.
Speaker: The, the, the breakdown essentially of it is when a certain group of people sat down every morning for X amount of time and they, they had written down affirmations. You know, I'm a, you know, for example, one that is some that I used to use for myself, but I haven't used it in a while. Maybe I should start back up again. I'm a strong, confident, important, handsome, good looking, bad motherfucker.
Speaker: And I am a hell of a good father. I'm a hell of a good husband. I'm doing my best and they see it. I am that guy. I will continue to be that guy. I'm going to be a millionaire. I'm going to do this, that and the other. And what it is is obviously it's not. You're not just saying things so that you hear them. You're saying them because it trains your brain.
Speaker: And it trains your brain to think the correct thoughts, the positive thoughts, the truths instead of the lies that you tell yourself or the lies that you're told from other people about yourself that have been ingrained in your brain. I think Steven actually would probably be a great book for you, but I don't, I don't like telling other people. I read some self -help books, but I ultimately agree 100 % with this comment.
Speaker: Confidence comes with time and with lessons you learn in life. Confidence gained through seeing how far you've come in life versus where you were. True confidence, not just having a big head about yourself. 100%. And you know, like Connor with reading, talking about that book, you know, there's so many people out there that make money off of people like us. And yet we don't see a fucking dime. Like there's people out there
Speaker: having gone like, Oh, hey, look, Connor, let's talk to him, get his feelings and then write it down in a book, make a million dollars, and then be like, Hey, Connor, thanks for the million dollars. But you know, you ain't getting any of it. So your name, bitch. I actually, the few books that I've actually read in my life have been cell health books, I think I've read, I could probably count on one hand,
Speaker: the amount of books that I have read that are like fiction, just for fun books, just for me just to enjoy because I fucking hate reading. And they were all while I was in school and I was forced to read them. I've read zero of them cover to cover. But I think that these books and I can't believe I'm recommending any self -help book because I think a lot of them are scams.
Speaker: But I think that some of them, some of them, and it's hard to find which one's which, but I think that some of them actually are helpful, but only if you want them to be. And I think that God, I feel like I'm a part of the scan, but they really, they really are is they give you lessons and things that you can learn and you can apply in your everyday life. And the people are like, Oh, it doesn't fucking work. And they're like, Oh, what did you change? Well, I did this for a month.
Speaker: Okay. There you go. You only did for a month. Did you stop? I'm not a millionaire yet. Okay. Good job, Dickhead. But what this book in particular did for me was teach me that, and I say this as I'm having just the worst couple of weeks, especially like self -talk wise and confidence wise. I say this in that state of mind. It taught me back when I fucking dreaded that
Speaker: where you are is based on what you think of yourself. A lot of the, a lot of the, I don't want to say a lot of the millionaires, a lot of the self -made millionaires dealt with some of the worst moments in their lives within about 10 years of making their first million dollars. And now they're the biggest fucking names in the world, right?
Speaker: Well, look at Bill Gates. I mean, he had a hard time getting girlfriends until he fucking created one of the biggest computer companies in the world. I can't remember the name of this dude. I'm going to look it up right now. I feel like Jeff. Keep talking, Steven. I can't really show myself. Ultimately, I well, you haven't, but.
Speaker: Um, but ultimately, I think what it really is is, as Connor said, you know, it's, you got to learn to train yourself with certain keywords. And I think, I don't know why I'm bringing up Terry Bradshaw as one of them, but Terry Bradshaw, he was one person that for many years didn't come out with his mental health struggles until
Speaker: he was done the football saying, you know, he had to recite these certain words every time, even to go out and play a simple football game. And that's the thing, you know, when it's, and I'm not saying that, oh, hey, because an athlete deals with this, that automatically it means that, you know, it wasn't a thing before that. But if we could literally trace
Speaker: back to the first person that dealt with mental health issues, I would like to go talk to that person and be like, hey, why are you feeling this way? So then, I didn't mean to cut you off. I was just like, I was done with what I was saying.
Speaker: I know. I'll be honest, I wasn't paying attention to what you were saying at all. Hey, it does the same thing. That's why, you know, most people want to wear shirts that say, fuck you, Glick. No, I was on. I'm still on the example of people who make oodles and gobs and money. And we think that they come from everything and still have everything. And that's not. First of all, it's not not hard to do it. I don't think anybody fucking looks up to them anyway. But I've read a couple of his books and I don't
Speaker: Love the guy. I don't love the way that he makes money. But you can't deny how much money the man has. And his name is Robert Kiyosaki. And again, I kind of feel bad giving him credit because I'm not a huge fan of it. But I'll give him credit where it's due. He is a multi, multi, multi, multi -millionaire, probably a billionaire by now. Fuck, I don't even know. But he hit the worst years of his life
Speaker: happened. I mean, he was living out of a car with his wife and his baby daughter. I mean, the worst years of his life. I mean, he made a change and he stuck to the chain, right? He stuck to the change. And within the next 10 years, he was a millionaire. And I think that what we run into when it comes to mental health
Speaker: Fucking confidence. Fucking, God, I can't believe I'm doing this to myself. Therapy. I say that as I skipped out on a therapy appointment last week. When it comes to those types of things and bettering ourselves as people, as men, et cetera, is we do it for a little bit while it feels good and we feel like we're making progress and then we give up on it because we just don't care anymore.
Speaker: Well, yeah. And I mean, we're taught like Glick always says, you know, we are the generation that is talking where before, and it's still going on. I was raised where you didn't really talk about what was going on. Like for me to talk about, you know, that my real father skipped town on me and abandoned me. That was not talked about. Like my mom said, you're not going to talk about it. You just put it.
Speaker: deep in with yourself and thank God for my, uh, for my quote unquote adoptive dad, uh, Brian, because without him, I don't think I'm here doing the show right now. I probably don't even, I probably don't even get through high school. Honestly. And just to hopefully make you feel better. Um, you should be glad that your dad, your real dad didn't come back because the milk is well spoiled by now. It has gone, it is way past its due date.
Speaker: So I hope that makes you feel a little better about it. I know that you can't bring back a dad and you can't, the whole milk is just, it's gone, buddy. What do you mean? The milk. No, my, my, my real father, Ernie, no, he's, he's, I wish that guy would go away. Fuck he's trying. The ever since I graduated from high school is when now that fucker wants to be around and I don't know how many more times I can tell him no.
Speaker: Like the milk went bad when you were on your way back. I don't want it anymore. Thank you. But no, like honestly. And that's the thing. Like I was told never to talk about it. I was. And then my dad, like I said, you know, Brian, he was the one that said, Stephen, if you want to talk about this shit, talk about it. Don't bottle it up. Good job, Brian.
Speaker: he could tell that honestly there was something inside me that was I could never explain it but like I withdrew from so many things I enjoyed like when I would play sports all I cared about was I was hitting people and someone be like oh hey you you know did a good job you recovered a fumble and I'd just be like cool you know and
Speaker: And I had girls in high school that were like, oh, hey, you know, he's kind of cute. And I'm just looking around like, ooh. And they're like, you, you idiot. And I'm like, okay. And I just walk away. Well, I mean, you almost got into the porn industry. You got to be at least semi attractive. I don't see it, but apparently somebody does. My wife sees it, but I think it's the, I think it's the, you know, I can't,
Speaker: Did you wear a lot of gray sweat sweatpants in high school? Is that what it was? No, I wear a lot of blue jeans in high school. I love the zippers on those things. It always makes it look way bigger. My whole thing was I had to stop actually wearing boxers in high school because my fucking eyes on me. No, no, just just listen. Now listen.
Speaker: This isn't anything sexual, but no, my thighs looked like fucking Bo Jackson's thighs. And like, people are like, people are like, dude, you need to stop working out in the gym or taking steroids. And I'm like, no, I'm just working on my dance board. Dude, I'm only like five to seven. You're too strong. Yeah. Yeah. That's something that anybody's ever said in the history of mankind. You're too, you're too ripped, Steven.
Speaker: I'm not saying I was risk. There was people that could power lift me and be like, you know, it was what it is. But ultimately, at the end of the day, like, the only reason I had confidence was because I went out for sports and people were giving me that fake confidence, where it's just like, Oh, he's playing sports. Good for you, Steven. Good tackle. And it's like, there was people that really did honestly care that I was going out there and getting hit in the head too many times, which
Speaker: I was part of the generation that wasn't looked at as, oh, hey, you know, maybe we should take these people out when they're fucking slurring their words, you know, and not being drunk dumbasses. But they're going like, what's the score? Did we win? But no, they had to do that after I graduated. Thanks, concussions. Yeah, welcome to the club, buddy. Mine's not mine's not necessarily.
Speaker: from sports, though. I mean, well, yeah, that's the way it works. And I thought it's sad, but it's kind of funny. It's a little bit funny. I find it interesting. How about that? That's a better way to put it. I find it interesting that a lot of the popular kids from high school seem to be the ones, as we're getting older and becoming adults and actually having lives, who have the least amount of confidence in the real fucking world.
Speaker: and I think that a lot of that comes from the fake confidence that they've been given from sports friends that dipped out after high school because it's high school and I hate to say it but that's that's where the whole term peaked in high school comes from is these people get out of high school and they realize oh shit the real fucking world ain't high school
Speaker: Well, and that's why I kind of giggle at some of the popular chicks that wouldn't even look my way. But now they're going like, oh, God, Steven's married. And he looks so happy. And it's like, yeah. Steven, let me see your elephant cock. Good girl. Can we stop? Sorry. This is a mental health show, not Steven. Show us your cock. Dick and fart jokes, dude. They never go away. And they never are not funny.
Speaker: I feel like this is if a low budget Jay and Silent Bob like movie that like they shouldn't have never done. This is low budget. We're paying for it. We're paying to do this podcast. Talk about low budget. There is no payout for this. But yeah, artificial confidence is the leading
Speaker: problem with. Yeah, well, sorry, you know, try to better myself, but you know, I try and I try and sound smeared at the end of the day, but it doesn't help. But no, and that's I read your self confidence books and now I'm trying to do it and all you do is fucking make fun of me. Well, you know what you know what Mark's gonna say where the raises it's at the tip of the
Speaker: I'll raise something for you, Brian. Good God. Glick, if you want to, you can just fire us and keep us for like the Wednesday show. You can try and fire me. I'm not going anywhere. Steven's been talking about wanting to get fired for months now. I enjoy coming on here and embarrassing myself. It's a good time. Oh, whatever. Makes me forget about embarrassing myself. Out of the three people that embarrass themselves the most, it's tied between me and you.
Speaker: Yeah, I was gonna say I fell on the fucking stairs the other day. What do you mean? Okay.
Speaker: But no, honestly, I think an artificial ego and confidence boosting is what's probably killing most of our people nowadays. Because honestly, in high school, that one girl, you know, she comes up to you and says, hey, kind of good looking and all that. Well, I hate to break it to anyone, but she's probably used that line 100 times on many different dudes. And those same dudes were like, yeah, we can already smell the bullshit, move along.
Speaker: And coaches love that when you have that, when you have that artificial confidence in the way that they know they can get you to go that extra mile. And in wrestling, if they're like, Hey, you know, you can drop weight just by, you know, either not eating or, you know, Tommy two fingers down the old throat. I never did wrestling. Oh, I fucking hated it.
Speaker: And that led to a lot of people having eating disorders and also confidence issues, because if they didn't project that self image or body definition, you were looked at by the coaching and all that as worth it. And that's the sad thing with a lot of coaches nowadays is that you're having parents that are telling you, Oh, Hey, you know,
Speaker: They're coming out on the court, and they're literally kicking other parents' asses, or they're grabbing other kids by the hair, and they're literally shitting on their kid when the kid misses a fucking basket. Or, God forbid, the kid game -winning touchdown on the fucking line, and the fucker drops it. Yes, I get it, Mom. I dropped the fucking ball. I'm sorry. I saw someone coming in. Way to go, Steven. You dropped the ball, literally. Nah.
Speaker: Shut up, Connor. Make me! Maybe I will! God, I feel like this is Beavis and Butthead doing a fucking podcast. I'm running out of steam. I'll be real honest. I don't know how... How the fuck do we do this for three hours?
Speaker: Like, we do it just fine when we've got Chris, or Rock, or Chris Rock. Hi, Pooh Bear. But, yeah, it's just one of those things that you ultimately need to be better at, not only with ourselves, but who each other falls with. Hi. Hi.
Speaker: Sorry, this is part of the podcast where we all wave at Connor's daughter. Hi. And it gets to that point where we as a society have ultimately created ourselves in an image that we ourselves don't like. Like, I wish some of those guys that I went to school with that were the omega jocks that, you know, we're throwing nerd kids into the fucking
Speaker: Blockers and all that would have been like hey, maybe I shouldn't do this. Maybe I should be a better person looking at you some of you people But ultimately at the end of the day, I think it starts with us with confidence and being able to Ultimately look ourselves in the mirror and say hey, you know what? It's okay to look a certain way It's okay
Speaker: to be the type of person we are. As long as you're not doing anything that's harming yourself or harming anyone else, you're... Shut the fuck up. I'm sorry. We're doing an immense mental health podcast about confidence. And here I am, dookying on you because it's fun and it makes me feel better about myself.
Speaker: Well, I mean, okay, hands up. Do we want Connor or is it just, okay, Connor's gonna teach his daughter how to give me the finger again. Can you do it? Oh my God, this kid is already. Fuck you, Steven. Fuck you, Steven. Hi. Oh, good Lord. Glick, can you come in here and save us? I'm a little beyond saving at this point. We're an hour. I'm living out for a hero.
Speaker: Welcome to our show, ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker: I think maybe at about the two -hour mark, probably ending this is gonna be a great idea. I think that we're rolling around that point right now. Oh, no, we got some more. But ultimately, at the end of the day, we're gonna look at... Damn it, Connor. I'm trying to do a show here. I'm trying to do my monologue. Good job.
Speaker: I'll mute myself. It's not you muting yourself. It's your little daughter fucking with a hat trying to put it on and it's so freaking cute. But anyway, I honestly think that more people in today's society would be better off if we could just look at ourselves in the mirror and say, you know what? Fuck what everyone else thinks. Let's just be who we are. You know, it's okay if you're the nerdy dude or the nerdy chick.
Speaker: one day someone's going to see the value in you. And that doesn't mean your looks, that doesn't mean your brains, your smarts, anything like that. They're going to see the true you. That's right. Steven, you're right. I think that one thing that we all need to tell ourselves, including myself, including you, and we told you this the other night on our first Wednesday night, is stop taking yourself so motherfucking seriously.
Speaker: It's the people that bring you down are either self -conscious about themselves or they think that you're better than they are and they're just trying to bring you down. Can I help you? But I think that just stop taking yourself so seriously. The game of life is just that. It's just a game. We're all playing it. We're all trying to have fun doing it. We're all trying to be successful. And you bring yourself down.
Speaker: I'm talking to myself right now. I'm looking in the mirror. You need to stop being so hard on yourself because your confidence stems from you and nobody else. And if you're listening to the other voices, you need to turn them off and start listening to yourself first and then work on giving a fuck what anybody else thinks because you shouldn't. Yeah. You know, it's hard to talk over you, right?
Speaker: But no, country singer Sammy Kershaw said it best, the man I want to be. And he talks about ultimately, in his past, he did some bad things. And the song also talks about how he's now able to look himself in the mirror and be proud of what he sees.
Speaker: And I think ultimately sometimes we look in the mirror and we see what society wants us to be instead of seeing who we are. And it's okay to look in that mirror and say, God, I need to shave this or, Oh God, you know, I'm starting to look like Glick and have a fucking long ass beard and need to shave it before I look like a Sasquatch. Love you Glick. And at the end of the day, I will say this and this will probably be the words that they put on my tombstone one day.
Speaker: You're good enough. You don't need to be that person you see in a movie or a TV show that gets all the dudes or gets all the chicks. Be yourself. People will find that way more cooler than creating something fake.
Speaker: just so that they go like, oh hey, you're a great person. You're very open and forward and all that. But behind the scenes, you're closeted. You're shy. You create a fake persona or character just to get you through the day. Don't do that. If you want to be shy, be shy. If you want to be
Speaker: You know, that person that's like, God, you know, yesterday was such a great day. Today's going to be a bad day. It's okay to be that person, but just know you're good enough, no matter what you do in life.
Speaker: You don't have to be Bill Gates with billions of dollars to be a success in life. You could just be like us on this podcast trying to get through this episode. And at the end of the day, you know, you're going to get yelled at, but at the end of the day, you're ultimately saying, you know what? Hey, we came on here. We talked about what we want to talk about. That's good enough. Hopefully. I mean, we got, we got a like. You're good enough, but you can always do better.
Speaker: Well, this show is gonna get better with time. Never stop growing, but be happy with what you have. Well, exactly. That's why I think I always get a kick out of it when people are always saying, God, if I had this much more money, I'd live better or something. That may be, but at the end of the day, be happy with what you got. Be happy with who you are. You don't have to be
Speaker: a Sasquatch that masquerades as a champion. Did you say masquerades or masturbates? Masquerades. Still sounded like masturbates. Okay. I mean, he might. He might. You're a Squatch! You're a Squatch! Oh, good god. You two are probably under Squatch. You're the champion Squatch!
Speaker: YouTube's got their finger over the button like keep it delete it keep it delete it. Oh, that's exactly Brian, you know Yeah Be happy with what you have. I always say I want to be a millionaire I want to be a millionaire just so I don't have to worry about money. I'm happy with all the things that I have I'm happy with my family I feel like a jackass sometimes a lot of the time most of the time, but I'm happy with the life that I have
Speaker: I just wanted to get better and I want to keep improving on it because I know I can do better and I know that I'm worth more. I'm worth more than what I have and I'm going to keep pushing to get more. Not because I'm greedy, not because I feel like I'm inadequate without it, but because I know that I can be better. And what you are is not necessarily... No, that sounds wrong. What you are is not necessarily what you're worth. You're worth more than what you think you are.
Speaker: And you're worth the fight. You're worth all the arguments that you have with your spouse. You are worth all the hard times that you're gonna go through. And I've said it before and I'll say it a million times again. You can only give up on the game of life once. You can only give up once. Once it's gone, it's gone. Keep fighting for what you have and keep fighting to get more because you're worth more.
Speaker: You should give yourself credit for that. I don't know about you, Steven, but I feel like we are starting to roll into Elphin of the show. It's almost like the perfect segue. It doesn't feel forced at this point.
Speaker: I think unless Steven has any qualms with it, I think that we are going to shut her down and say good night for the night. So we are going to roll ourselves a bit of music here. If you want to come check out our network, come check us out. Click the bio link at bio .link slash nonsensical network. It's the first time I've been able to say that without stuttering.
Speaker: Again, go check out our friends over at Zencaster. They are going to help you with all of your podcasting needs, shows, record, edit, monetize, all the things. Distribute your sound, your voice, your network. Build your brand over at Zencaster. Make sure you use code word. Words are hard at checkout when you use Zencaster and get either 10 or 20 % off. I don't know, we got to get confirmation from Glick, but he's not here.
Speaker: Um, so we can't confirm or deny the actual percentage that it is. My guess is 10 to 20%. I don't know the exact number. Uh, that being said, Steven's going to go ahead and roll us some music and we're going to have some closing words when we come back. Well, you forgot some things, uh, Monday through Friday, Monday through Sunday. We'll do that. We'll do that. We'll do that at the end. We'll do that at the end. We need to close out with something. All right. Uh, we are closing out our song, the sound of silence.
Speaker: Not by Simon and Garfunkel. Why? Which one, dude, would you like? I said, oh, that's such a good song. Oh, I thought you were going to play. I'm not always being an asshole. It's just 97.
Speaker: Because a vision softly here creeping Left its seat while I was sleeping And the veil that was splintered in my brain Still remains within the sound of silence
Speaker: In restless strings I walk alone Narrow streets of cobbled stone Beneath the halo of a history land I turn my color to the cold and damp
Speaker: When my eyes would stand by the flash of a neon light Let's breathe the night and touch the sun
Speaker: And they'd make a lot of songs Ten thousand people, maybe even more People talking with a house became People hearing with a homeless name People writing
Speaker: Just don't decide who's on the news Who said I don't know Who said I don't know Who said I don't know Who said I don't know Who said I don't know Who said I don't know Who said I don't know Who said I don't know
Speaker: In the cold
Speaker: Hey all my friends, I am... Oh god, that's such a good song. Such a lovely, wonderful, amazing song.
Speaker: The OGs, Simon and Garfunkel before old Paul, old Lou Epps, Simon himself went on his own solo gig. But really good cover. Thank you for tuning in tonight, everybody. What is wrong with you, Steven? No, I just, I got a kick out of that. I loved it.
Speaker: But thanks for tuning into our shit show tonight that we called our Men's Mental Health podcast show. Thank you for being here with Men Caring for Men. Check us out on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. We have a show for absolutely everybody.
Speaker: Monday nights, you're gonna get our Men Caring for Men podcast like we had here tonight. It'll probably be a little better if you tune in literally any other night because we'll have one more host with us to make things a little more smooth and give us a little more conversation. Tuesday nights, go check out Jeff Garage, where he talks about everything. If it has four wheels, two wheels, three wheels, or if it fits into your garage, he's gonna talk about it.
Speaker: You can put your ass in the seat and it moves. If you push a gas pedal, he's got it. Wednesday nights. Check us out with what the fuck news. Uh, it's gonna be Chris Glick. It's myself, Jeff, and Steven. Uh, and then what the hell's next?
Speaker: Thursday night, Thursday comes out for Wednesday. Thursday nights we got talking shit with Mark and Brian. I believe they will be back next week. I can neither confirm nor deny the truthness of this statement. Friday nights, we are going to have Glick's House of Music, but he only does that on the second and fourth Friday of the month.
Speaker: So check him out when he's on with clicks house music and Saturday nights is our flagship show It is the nonsensical men's network's flagship show nonsensical nonsense forgot it with myself Chris or click as he likes to be called the champ click and Jeff as well as Steven and that is when we are going to have our open door challenge and
Speaker: If you think you have the stones to come up here and hang out with us, we will have you. We will be happy to talk to you. Have a chat, have a good time. And usually that show runs anywhere from like four to six hours. So it doesn't matter when you show up, just be a part of the party. Sunday nights, you're gonna get the Jarvis Project or the Jaravishy Project, where he's gonna talk about everything movie. Usually he comes down with one movie or one theater episode.
Speaker: and he gets into the nitty gritty. Yeah, imagination. But thanks for hanging out with us tonight. I appreciate you sticking around if you stuck around for the whole time. Steven, do you have any good closing words for us? I do. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health. I know you love that. After you said that, my light flickered, it was kind of creepy.
Speaker: All right, ladies and gentlemen, my final words will be that on the topic of confidence. It all stems within yourself. Turn off the noise, stop listening to other people, and stop taking yourself so seriously. I'm gonna steal that from Blake for tonight. Stop taking yourself so seriously, man. What matters is what you're telling yourself.
Speaker: What you tell yourself you are, that's where your confidence stems from. It's from the words that you tell yourself. So be nice to yourself. Give yourself a break. Stop taking yourself so seriously. And just live, laugh, and love, ladies and gentlemen. I hope you have a great night. That was our show. See you. Press the button. Hit the button.
