Nonsensical Nonsense Ep.48 with special guest Rob Durham

Transcript

Speaker: Who had it wrong? What's the price for being alone? Which bank do you own? Did you decide what you were told? Is it worth it waiting? Is it worth it waiting?

Speaker: Do you do it for the love?

Speaker: Do you do it by my love? Do you do it by my money? Before I die I'll handle everything you love, yeah Cash is key and you're the gesture, honey Do you do it by my love? Do you do it by my money?

Speaker: Do you do it by my love? Do you do it by my money?

Speaker: Hell yeah. And that's how you start a show after a little breaky break. What's going on, everybody? Welcome to Nonsense School Nonsense. I'm Glick. Hanging out with Jeff, as always. He did it again every time. He just disappears. But welcome back. Hopefully y 'all didn't miss us too much. We took a little break. I was a little busy this weekend. But we are back live and in person.

Speaker: If you're not already, feel free to check us out on social media at Nonsense School Nonsense on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, Twitch, YouTube, all that jazz. And if you want to catch all the episodes of the podcast, we're up to 47 officially tonight on Spotify, Anchor, Google, and Apple. Basically anywhere you get your podcast and jollies from, you can find us there. And you can always shoot us an email if you'd like.

Speaker: at Nonsense School Nonsense podcast at gmail .com. There you go, man. I time everything fucking longer off. No, well, what happened is my I had to give kids hugs and good kisses goodbye because they're actually going to grandma's because I'm still sick. So all that fun jazz. I have to turn my camera just there. There we go.

Speaker: Oh my goodness. Oh, by the way, happy birthday, sir. Well, I was going to say, I'll get, I'll let you get back to that here in just a second. Sorry about the pre -show. I just cut you the hell off. I was like, that's fine. I actually didn't want to do a whole lot of pre -show.

Speaker: just because I was watching that Dave Chappelle special. I was losing my mind laughing my ass off. But I wanted to save my birthday wishes for the live. Granted, it was Saturday, it was Sunday, but whatever. I have to tilt my camera. Yes. So thank you for the birthday wishes. Thank you for the

Speaker: uh uh birthday gift as well uh for those of you guys who don't know uh we talked about it uh saturday sunday was my birthday the big four zero it was a good day would watch the fuse ball hung out with uh some friends uh summer got me a couple really cool gifts uh we went did family pictures and shit like that yeah i saw the pictures like 40 times

Speaker: Yeah, one of my favorite gifts that summer they popped up. Yeah, one of my favorite gifts that summer got me is the framed picture of Miles Garrett. Smashing Mason Rudolph in the face. Miles Garrett is my favorite Cleveland Browns, probably one of my favorites of all time. I love this dude and Mason Rudolph is the backup quarterback for the Steelers. Got a little mouthy.

Speaker: Tried to kick Miles in the nuts, may or may not have called him a racial slur. And Miles ripped his helmet off and smashed him in the face with it. But that was pretty cool. Yeah, right? So that was a really cool gift. But then also, you see your little bastard. You know what? I pulled that off. I pulled off the ultimate try.

Speaker: I swung for the fence and go browse Justin Park because uh, we got done on Wednesday and I sent a message to blacktop mojo. Hey, Chris, I explained who I was and I'm sure they were like who I said, Hey, it's Jeff from nonsensical nonsense. Uh, Chris's birthday's coming up on Sunday. If you could send me a shout out, so I send it to him. That'd be great.

Speaker: Thursday, nothing. Friday, nothing. Saturday morning, I wake up and there's a message and I was like, who the fuck messaged me? Oh, shit.

Speaker: And it was like, fuck yes, it worked. Yeah. So for those of you, you don't know, we're talking about again, you can go check it out on social media. I believe it's on our Facebook page. It's on our TikTok. It's on Instagram, but I forgot.

Speaker: Yeah, I don't know if I put it on Instagram or Twitter, but it's out there. What we're talking about, Jeff got Matt, lead singer of Black Top Mojo, who does our intro music, our break music. My favorite all -around band, Jeff teases me because I'm probably way more of a fan. I knew you would never all shake your pants when you got that video. And I was gonna wait until Sunday, but I was so excited. And I'm like, this was all gifts. Anytime I get somebody a gift and I'm like, fuck yeah, they're gonna love this,

Speaker: I, I get too excited and I got, I got like, here you go. That's why I do like my Christmas shopping on New Year, on Christmas night, Christmas. Yeah, but yeah, Jeff, that was, that was actually really cool. I do appreciate that, man. That was awesome. Getting that birthday shout out for Matt. That was pretty fucking cool. So yeah, all around it was pretty good. Christina Ricci's on Cameo.

Speaker: So, yeah. Well, if procedure meets you, we'll do it for free. Yeah, I doubt it. Cameo, you have to pay. Yeah, I know, right? Not all around. It was a pretty good birthday weekend. Summer came up Thursday. And then Saturday, we went and did. Yeah, I got her six. I suppose it was my fault. Excuse me.

Speaker: Well, Saturday, we went did family pictures and then we decided to make it our family, like our tradition for our family to go to a pumpkin patch every year. Oh, my God, that was hilarious. So so we thought last year we went to that giant tube.

Speaker: Most fucking hilarious. You're like, come on, you can do better than that. They're like dying. Well, last year we went to one and it was pretty cool, but it was small. This year we found another one that was awesome. The place was huge and there was so much to do there. But yeah, they had what the kids were calling gerbil wheels or hamster wheels. The great big culvert drains, they had them cut the sections and you could go inside of them and

Speaker: and wheel with them, roll around, hey Joe, and everything like that. So I got into it. And at first I was just, I had that thing trucking and the kids were falling and everything else. And then I just flopped and laid down and I was like, you guys go. You're like, I'm 40 years old now. I'm too old for this shit. Yeah.

Speaker: Yeah. But the kids were having fun. They were falling out of them. They were falling down. Summer fell in it. It was a fun time. I mean, plus all the other stuff that there was that went on hayride and all kinds of fun little games and everything like that set up. And that reminds me, I totally forgot. I'm going to go get a snack. I'll be right back. I bought a jar of apple butter. Nice. What's going on, pops? What's going on, Joe?

Speaker: You know, apple butter? I love apple butter, man. I used to. I used to. I've lost the taste for it. Well, I've lost taste completely. Yeah, that pops up baby taste, Jeff. Well, Jeff, would you like to explain why you shaved because pops is in your comment? I'm so fucking pissed off. So let me give you the story of Friday night. Friday night, my wife was heading to Mexico City because her cousin

Speaker: wanted her to come up. And so she's like, will you ride with me in the taxi to the bus station? I'm like, sure, no problem. I feel fine. And so we went. I dropped her off. What's up, Pat? I paid for her bus ticket so I would have changed to get a cab home because all I had was 500 peso bills. And I was like, you know what?

Speaker: I'm going to go down the street a little bit and I'm going to get me some fucking Burger King because all I've been eating is chicken for like a week because of COVID shit and I'm going to get me some Burger King and then I'm going to go home in a cab because I can catch a cab right there by that Burger King really easy. So I make sure my wife gets on the bus, I head down the street, I go to the Burger King and I

Speaker: pay $6 .35 for fucking Whopper, fries, and a Coke. And I take a bite of it, and I realize I can't taste anything. I was like, well, this is the biggest waste of $6 .35 in life. And it's also the weirdest feeling you've ever felt to bite into something that you know tastes good. You know it is the bestest tasting thing, and you've been craving it for six weeks.

Speaker: Well, and that's the thing, like your brain, yeah, your brain knows what's that, what that tastes like, you know, but there's, there's nothing, there's nothing there, you know what I mean? It was creepy. It was creepy.

Speaker: So, you know, I actually took the time to mix up on my mayonnaise and ketchup, you know, and I'm got my fries dipped. I'm like, this is going to be awesome. What the fuck? I don't taste anything. So this more yesterday. So are you not taking your medicine? Oh, I am. What's that medicine called that you take? I don't remember. It's probably not taking it properly, right? Yeah, apparently not.

Speaker: It's over there. I did too, but apparently my brother -in -law is staying here because I have a PlayStation. So all the other kids, did all the other kids go? No, my son is here and my brother -in -law is here. So just the girls? Yeah, all the girls are here, all the guys are here. Makes no sense. So yesterday, my wife sends me a message.

Speaker: And she's like, Hey, uh, the doctor called me and I'm like, Oh yeah, what'd she say? She said, you should shave your beard. I said, you'd tell a doctor to go suck a cock because it's not going to happen. And she's like, like being sick. I said, well, no being sick sucks. You know, this isn't a man cold. This is worse because a man cold puts it down on your ass. But COVID will really beat the shit out of you. So.

Speaker: She said, the problem is you're sick and you know, every time you get in the shower, you freeze your ass off even with hot water. So shave your beard. And I was like, oh my God, no, I haven't shaved in like six years. So I've drug my ass off to the bed into the bathroom and got a pair of kitchen shears and I trimmed up and I'm watching myself in the mirror. I'm almost crying as I shave.

Speaker: and I got done and I was like, oh my God, who is this ugly old man? That's the thing that kills me man. That's the thing that kills me. I've never in all this time heard anything about a beard and because I've known people with beards that have gotten sick and they didn't shave. Well, on top of that. Because you wash your beard.

Speaker: Yeah, yeah, which is what I said. I said, I walked my mirror all the time. Any of the germs and stuff like that. It's just a precaution. I said, that's a pretty fucking fucked up precaution. And I told her, I said, well, you better shave your head so you don't get sick again. And she's like, yeah, that's not going to happen. I said, fair is fair. You know, but.

Speaker: So whatever I shaved. I sent you, I sent you a picture and I sent her the same picture and, and you both basically said the same thing. Who is that picture of? My mom sent me a picture of somebody throwing up back and she's like, Oh, gross. I was like, fuck you. Good thing you're not here. Yeah. Well, yeah, somewhere actually wound up getting really sick. She was supposed to leave.

Speaker: yesterday which I'm not complaining because she got to stay another night but I got home yesterday from work and uh speaking of this pretty girl speaking of summer she just gave us just who the fuck is the pedophile right rewind but uh no but but what's worse is on top of the covid I got strep throat yeah well summer thinks she's got no idea now

Speaker: I don't know what the fuck I got, but my tonsils were so swollen, I thought I was going to lose air. I couldn't even drink water. So yesterday, when I woke up, it hadn't gotten any better, and I was popping ibuprofen like they were Skittles. So I waddled my sick ass over the doctor, and the funny thing was,

Speaker: is I'm expecting a Mexican dude or a Mexican woman, and it's a black dude that looks like he's from Chicago. And I was like, you're the doctor? He's like, yeah. I was like, huh? That threw me for a loop. I said, you speak English? He's like, yeah. I was like, oh, shit. We're not in a touristy area. I am the whitest thing for 80 blocks, you know. And the only thing whiter is my walls. And so

Speaker: So I said, Doc, you know, I spoke to my mom last night or the night before and she's like, Oh, go get this. Whatever. I forget what it's called that. And I said, Doc, I need this. And I showed him a picture of it. He goes, this isn't a restaurant. Mr. Hawk, you cannot just order what you want. I said, Doc, my mom's a nurse. She knows exactly what I have. I've already talked to her. You know, he says, well, I still got to check you out.

Speaker: First of all, he takes my blood oxygen level and I was like, Doc, I'm a heavy, heavy, heavy smoker. And he took my blood oxygen level, it was at 98%. He's like, are you sure you're a smoker? I said, well, Doc, when I leave here, I'm gonna light a cigarette. So yeah, I'm a smoker. The past 20 people that have been in here, their blood oxygen level has not been over 85. I'm shocked. And I said, well,

Speaker: Fuck you, Cancer Society. Yeah. I said, thank you for Morris. Summer said that Summer said your new name is Chester. She also said I was helping her throw up. So beat that. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like your significant other. Summer was sick and dying. And I was here by her side taking care of her. You know, my wife was like, oh, you're sick. I'm going to go. I'm flying halfway across the country. Deuces. Yeah, no shit.

Speaker: but the doc checked me out and he checked my tonsils and he's like, yeah, you're getting exactly what you asked for. I said, yeah, see, we could have saved all this time and the whole $6 I'm paying you. Because that's one thing, there's a brand of pharmacies here called Simularis and their mascot is Dr. Simi, it's a fat guy.

Speaker: And so, I don't, and each one of the similarities or Dr. Simi's has a doctor on staff. Yeah. Which is genius. And it only costs 60 pesos or $3. So it's like this, you know, it's genius. So again, 90 % of the time, nobody speaks English in there. And so usually I take my wife and I went to this one. I've never been to this one.

Speaker: And, you know, I usually get some older Mexican dude or older Mexican woman and they don't speak a fucking lick of English. This guy speaks perfect English and he, he kind of looks like, uh, um, he kind of looks like Marlon Wayans. Really? Yeah.

Speaker: Real Marlon Wayans vibe. You know, he's got the dreadlocks the whole nine yards and I was like, we're not Marlon. What's the, what's the, the youngest, the youngest Wayans brother. He plays shorty. Is it Marlon? Yeah. You know, it was like a young Marlon Wayans from don't be a menace to the sound sensor while you're drinking. You just know it. That's what he looked like. So I was kind of taking a bad look the same. Pretty much.

Speaker: But, but the one thing he asked me that, that he and I left our asses off about was he's like, uh, I was like, well, you know, I had COVID, uh, and I can't taste anything against my own thing. And I told him my throat hurt, blah, blah, blah. I'm pretty sure I got strep throat. And he goes, okay. He says, are you vaccinated? I was like, no. He's like, God, you sound like my wife.

Speaker: I was like, Oh yeah. He's like, yeah, my wife's Canadian. I said, well, there you go. I said, she's smart. Like me. He's like, I'm vaccinated. I said, well, you're dumb for being a doctor. Says the guy who's currently dying from COVID right now. He goes, do you regret not getting vaccinated? Nope. Cause I got natural immunity now. Yeah.

Speaker: No. Well, I mean, it doesn't matter if you're, and we're not going to dive too much into that world, but I mean, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter if you're vaccinated or not. You can still get it. Summer got it. Yeah. Summer got it. She was vaccinated and I wasn't vaccinated. And the reason I got it is very, very simple. My wife got it and I went, I want it so I can scream. I have natural immunity and fuck you.

Speaker: I don't know why anybody would willingly want to get COVID, but I mean, to each their own, I guess. I kind of regret the decision of saying, come here and give me a kiss because damn, COVID sucks ass, dude. All right. Oh. Yeah, I know. Summer got sick. I feel like I went four rounds with Holyfield. Yeah. Summer got sick. She was up throwing up and everything else. Yesterday, I came home from work and, uh,

Speaker: Uh, she wound up just going to sleep. She slept all day and all night last night. So Summer said what she has is way worse than COVID. Whatever she has right now, it is kicking her ass and it was, it was worse than when she had COVID. Well, uh, the one thing the doctor said to me, the, the one I just met.

Speaker: He said, I needed to gain weight. I said, Doc, I'm 160 pounds. I'm the fattest I've ever been. He says, I'm pretty sure you've probably lost about 15 pounds. Nice. And I was like, get the fuck out of here. And we weighed my weighed me and I was 15 pounds lighter. And he says, he said, that's the problem with COVID. You're not hungry, right? I said, No, I'm not hungry at all. He says, how many times you've been eating today? I said, maybe once.

Speaker: Because the weird thing about going is you don't get hungry. You're just like, I don't feel like eating. I'm not going to eat. Well, I think that comes in multiple calls from my wife saying you need to eat. And I'm like, but I'm not hungry. I have literally sitting in front of me that I don't even want to eat.

Speaker: Well, now if I can get Jeff to shut up for a minute, we do have it. We do have a guest joining us tonight. And I told him that the invite was sitting to pop in whenever he'd like. So let me go ahead and welcome Rob to the show.

Speaker: Hello. Hey, Rob. You guys hear me all right? Yeah. How you doing, man? I'm setting up stuff here. I'll try to look at this camera. Squeezed in behind my bar. I got the World Cup qualifier in the distance. US is up to one on Costa Rica. Glad we're beating up a population of, you know, 3000 people.

Speaker: That's the that's the that's the fake soccer or the fake football right soccer. Yes. I forgot to mention that. Well, I was going to say judging by his pictures, he looks like he's a sports fan and looks like he's it looks like you've adopted the the St. Louis sports teams down there are up there over there.

Speaker: I guess. Yeah, we have the Cardinals. We have the Blues. That's all. We lost the Rams. I was never Rams fan anyway. And we're getting a Major League Soccer team. I forget what they're going to be called, but we got that. It's just excuses to drink. Well, that's the one thing about Rob, Chris, is the dude is the ultimate mixologist.

Speaker: I've literally seen some of Rob's videos where it's like, damn, if I had access to a bunch of alcohol, I would make that. Yeah, I could get in trouble with that. I'm sitting behind the bar. Here's my bottles of, there's a lot of stuff. I may have a problem. I got to stop buying stuff. Well, it doesn't help that you spend almost as much time in Mexico as I do. Yeah, we're going back in March to Mexico.

Speaker: You know, I'm a teacher. I need these outlets. Amen to that. Exactly. I was just going to get into that. So, so you're an amateur mixologist. You're a full -time teacher. Yes. And you do standup comedy. Yes. It's been a busy month too. So I've got, I've got a veterans hall coming up this weekend. I was in a campground last weekend. I mean, really Vegas is the next stop, but you got to cover your house.

Speaker: Yeah, you get the elks lodges, the VFWs and all that down and then you can head out to Vegas. They're actually better than the comedy clubs. How long have you been doing comedy? 21 years. My career is old enough to drink now. I know. The one question I've always had, Rob, is who is your major influence when it comes to stand up?

Speaker: Um, early on, it was David tell, um, I, I was a dormant at the Columbus funny bone and he came through. I think before I even started doing comedy and we were like, wow, this guy's different. He's making fun of the other comics that everybody else loves. He was a comedian comedian. And so I tried to emulate him without being as dirty, uh, and failed miserably. And, um,

Speaker: After that, I think by year five or six, I found my own voice. Now there's comedians. My favorite comedian ever is Jimmy Pardo. He's a good friend of mine. I've worked with him many times, but he does like all crowd interaction. Whereas I am a robot programmed to go through my stats where I minimize crowd interaction because it doesn't always work out for me. I'm more of this charming guy that people like, what about hecklers? It's like, I really don't get that many.

Speaker: If I do, it's because they're belligerently drunk. I don't antagonize the audience and I, I just bang, bang, bang. So I don't, um, I don't have to deal with a lot of heckling occasionally happens, but I've got my go -to shutdowns and things on TikTok. Yeah. I was going to say, once you've been in the game long enough, uh, you probably learned how to shut them down pretty quick.

Speaker: Yeah. What I like to do is look ahead of time and see how my openers are doing. If there's someone that's going to be a problem, I try and premeditate some slam for them. You know, look at their haircut, their shoes, their situation, and just have stuff already planned that looks like I'm being spontaneous. But again, I'm a robot. So I've already played.

Speaker: Jeff, somebody told you to stop smoking from your YouTube account. Yeah, that's my wife. My wife is watching and she knows I'm sick and she knows I shouldn't be smoking. I'd like to thank the comment, but Rob doesn't look creepy. What was the rumor that I was? No, that's because Jeff looks creepy. I had to shave my beard because of me being sick. I haven't shaved in like five years and then I had to shave.

Speaker: That's that's that's that's summer. That's that's my fiance. She's she's always in the chatters the chatters boxes. We call it given both Jeff and I hell. Yeah, so and nobody nobody's immune to that. So yeah, bring it on.

Speaker: But I was going to ask with you being a teacher, and I don't want to keep it all boring and us asking monotonous questions, but it's just more of a curiosity. Is your comedy clean? Do you keep it, try to keep it as clean as possible? It's on the clean side. If you don't have to cut, especially if you don't want to drop the worst, you guys cost on this, right?

Speaker: Oh, constantly. My mom stopped listening because we crossed the line to the point where the line is now a dot. That's one way to do it. If you don't have to say fuck, don't say it. And you're automatically a whole level cleaner. A lot of places, like in the Oaks Lodge, they're like, that's the only word you don't say. I'm like, all right. I always tell people, you can talk about sex if you don't mention all the liquids and things. It's like, there's a way to talk about sex without making it disgusting.

Speaker: A couple weeks ago, I was doing a news story and I was using all the medical terms. It was a sex -related story. Not only did Jeff yell at me, but I got yelled at by the chatter's box because they've grown accustomed to the way we operate.

Speaker: I meant to warn Chris that you're one of the most cleanest comics I've ever seen. And I was like, I don't know, I was gonna mention it because we normally do a pre -show.

Speaker: for like 30 minutes. And I was going to say, you know, Rob's kind of a really clean guy. So I don't know how well our our brand of comedy is going to mix with this. No, it's fine. Like I'll I'll adapt to the situation a little bit if I have to follow a really dirty comic, you know, step it up. But you get so much more work as a clean comic and you don't even have to be that clean. Like last

Speaker: two Sundays ago I was at the funny bone finishing up my week there at St. Louis funny bone and they let's they allowed 20 14 year old boys in

Speaker: some private birthday party. They're like, you can do that. I was like, I can't, I'm not gonna change anything. And I didn't really have to, you know, I talk about condoms and sex and there's innuendos and things, but I tell these newer comics, I'm like, you know, nobody, you have to base your show on a comedy club at seven o 'clock. Some couple in her forties with kids at home, are they going to want within two minutes of the show starting? Are they gonna wanna hear about

Speaker: you know, those super disgusting stuff. You can't shift into fifth gear. And I was an opener for so long. It took me six years of emceeing and then another six to eight years of being the middle act before I was actually headlining enough. And so I was like, you know, I just kind of grew up in my act being on the cleaner side. Cause it got me so much more work. Like I used to do shows at Mizzou for like parents weekend. They were like, Hey, the moms are in town. Yeah, I'll do it.

Speaker: You know, I've been called either the cleanest dirty comic or the dirtiest clean comic.

Speaker: Well, one of the first things I heard of your comedy was you're on stage and you're talking about being a teacher and to fuck with the students, you remove the digital clock and put an analog up. That's hilarious. That's so clean, but so funny and so true. I mean, I find a lot of comics, I literally just spent the past four hours watching Dave Chappelle.

Speaker: And the funniest comics, you guys all hit that same, but it's true. That's what makes it funny. Just like a fiction, any fiction, it's based on truth. And if you listen to Brian Regan, he's the cleanest comic out there. He's cleaner than Gaffigan.

Speaker: And he's one of my favorites. Yeah. He's one of the best ever. So I got to work with all these guys too in Columbus when I was just starting out. I didn't you know I didn't even realize what big deals they would become.

Speaker: But yeah, I was going to say, look at, look at back on your career. How, how great is that to, you know, the, some of these, because I remember when the funny bone first opened at, at, at Easton and some of the acts that they brought through there absolutely blew my mind. Yeah. That's where I was dorming at. I fat. Here's a name dropping alert. I've had Joe Rogan in my car.

Speaker: Oh, you should have drove it off a cliff and done the world a favor. Chris, not Chris's favorite, but I love me some Joe Rogan. That dude's hilarious. He's, somebody on the internet said he's, he's the male Oprah. Yeah. I can see that. I can see that. Yeah. Because everybody having, I mean, as much as Chris doesn't want to hear it, the, there's two ways to, to become super famous doing this show and doing Joe Rogan's.

Speaker: This show probably hurt your career, but do whatever. Doing this show, you will never be able to run for office, I can guarantee you that. Well, the crazy thing about Rob, not only are you a teacher, mixologist, stand -up comic, but you've also written a book. I proofread your book for you. Yes, that was book number five.

Speaker: Yeah, I mean, that I have barely written written, read a book, let alone you can you can barely read, let alone. I mean, it took me it took me it took me days to proofread Rob's book. And it was all like, it wasn't what he said. It was only like the first chapter likes five, six pages. And I was just like, I don't know what to say. That somebody I knew wrote a book.

Speaker: that. Just just real quick in the in the chatters box. Apparently, my grandmother will never listen to us because of my language. Summer hit you with a warning that we are nasty. She also shaved my beard. And she has a question for Jeff aka Chester. Yeah.

Speaker: Are you wearing a woman's shirt? Those sleeves are awful. No, no, this is like an extra small. My wife buys me extra mediums. So we attempted early on in the show because

Speaker: We now have segments. Jeff does his terrible television or movie review of the week. And I got a really good one too, but we didn't get to do anything. Jeff got fired from doing the top 10. My old man had to come in and do the top 10. We call it Pops Top 10. And I do news stories. And then of course we have everything else that goes on.

Speaker: We attempted early on to let Jeff do some news stories. And after he struggled for about 20 minutes to read one article, I said, yeah, we're never going to let Jeff read again. So now if I find an interesting article, I just forward it to Chris. And I'm like, yeah, I'll let him run. And I usually don't read the article at first. That sounds funny. Send to Chris. And he sends me a screenshot, not the actual article. So Jeff, you just you just don't read, is that?

Speaker: No, well, I have attention deficit and dyslexia. So I'm really bad at it. I don't remember. Good Lord. Yeah, I know. I edit in the context.

Speaker: not the spelling word or anything like that. The reason why I edited and the only reason I edited Rob's book in the first place is because it was about vacationing in Mexico in general. So it's not like it was like on this is the way you spell words, you know.

Speaker: to see it. Well, what was it called? It was a don't drink shots with strangers. Don't do shots with strangers as, cause my, my comedy books called don't do don't wear shorts on stage. So I was like, I'll just kind of play off of that. Right. How many books have you written so far? Five.

Speaker: are they all comedy books? No, number six should come out next spring. The first one is don't wear shorts on stages, how to do comedy. Books two and three were like romance novels with a pen name about comedians in their 20s and that whole quarter life crisis you get.

Speaker: You know, like when you're 25, your friends are all getting married and buying houses and doing all this stuff. And you're like, I can't find my socks. Kind of how I felt my 20s, like I was like, I'm 40 and I can't find my socks. Right. And so then book four, book four is my favorite. It's called Around the Block. It's based on my high school experience being stalked by a weird girl. And then book five is the vacation book.

Speaker: Yeah. Was the weird girl Jeff Hawk who took a pass through? Well, oddly enough, Rob was a senior, if I'm correct. Rob was a senior when I was a freshman. Okay, so you were in my brother's class then? Yes. Okay, class of 2000? Yes. Okay. Now, the other reason Rob and I met at all, because Rob and I were in 100 % opposite circles.

Speaker: Mainly because Rob was super popular and I was not. We both took speech class at the same time. If I'm not mistaken. That's right. That's where we met. Because I knew I had to take speech class and I know that was the one class that I was going to excel in. Yeah, because you never shut the fuck up. So I was like, I'm taking it freshman year.

Speaker: Oh,

Speaker: Oh yeah. She's like, Damien's my lucky rubber bands. I wear these lucky rubber bands to the basketball games, the JV games, especially. And my cousin said they could get any guy that I wanted, but they're not working and just like glaring at me. And I was like, this is rosary. Catholic people wear rosary. I like that because I'm like, oh, did I mention that in my speech? I mean, her whole speech was about me. Then we had play production the next semester. Were you in that play production class? No, I don't think I took that.

Speaker: Oh, and then I got balloon -agrammed and like my whole senior year was just the popular girl. I was not popular. I didn't go to parties. I didn't drink. I was basically not fun and I'm making up for it now, but the popular girls like cheerleaders and the cool girls would come up to me like, do you know Jamie? I'm like, I don't know. They're like, she wants to know if you'll go to the dance with her.

Speaker: And so I took that concept and kind of ran with it. So the character in this young adult book has, it's called Around the Block because the girl who takes interest in him parties with college guys. So she's from Around the Block. She's like, you know, she tramps around. Whereas this little virgin boy that's never even kissed a girl is avoiding a stalker and like sexually confused him out, you know. So.

Speaker: Jamie Jamie is currently in her parents basement watching this while she was watching this. 70s music and she's still drawing hearts around your day. You will be buying her off. Jess will die. She told me she's like yeah I got a scrapbook of you and I told my I go if I disappear you check her basement.

Speaker: Yeah, I was gonna say have you seen the Selena series because I believe so. I think she was. Well, the the weird thing, Chris went to East Knox, correct? Chris and I met Chris and I met at the crew center. Chris and I both with the career center. And

Speaker: Uh, the funny thing is, is like when your senior year and my freshman year is when clear fork first started doing block scheduling. Yeah. And then when we went, when I went to the career center, it was the first year, the career center started doing block scheduling. So I was like, I never, I never had normal classes. Like you used to have in your sophomore and junior year, but, uh,

Speaker: I remember the biggest problem with block scheduling is the teachers were running out of stuff to do because we had so much time in class. I teach block scheduling now, it's awful. I hate it. I thought it was the greatest thing ever.

Speaker: What grade do you teach? You try to teach the creative writing for 100 minutes on a Friday after 15 years. Oh, okay. That's what I was just going to ask. What grade do you teach? I have two classes of freshmen, two classes of sophomores, and one group of mostly seniors in creative writing.

Speaker: It's the freshmen is here. A lot of them have not been in the building since the middle of seventh grade. So I've got kids that are crying like just they're emotionally two years younger. Yeah. Well, that's the other thing is like you have to deal with the woke shit.

Speaker: I mean that right there would make me put a gun barrel in my mouth. Well, our school district made Fox News last year because some of the parents were complaining because kids were running home saying that the literature made them guilty about being white.

Speaker: Though I told my students. Do you ever just want to smack a kid? I mean, because that shit right there. Their parents more than the kids. I told my kids at the end of last year, in the beginning of this year, I go, look, if you can't tell the difference between your family and the villain, the racist villain in a book, that's on you. That's on your family. There's. Yeah, there's there's something going on with your family that right.

Speaker: I said, do you think the German kids feel guilty when we read Holocaust literature? Well, that was going to be my next thing. I was like, can you imagine the poor history teacher that has to talk about Hitler? Right. Because I remember in seventh grade, which they started block scheduling that year too, but we did like three months of World War II history.

Speaker: And I'm sure there's kids nowadays just, they're just sitting in the corner when they get home, you know, in a, in a fetal position. Yeah. My kids may not cover Holocaust literature. And I was like, we kind of have to, uh, do you think seventh grade is the best education or do you think I can teach you a little more about it? You know, we read night by Ellie, we tell, but, um, yeah, it's, I, I've been, I've already got to talking to is this year about

Speaker: I have a running board on my whiteboard days since I've been in trouble or been sent to the office. I'm up to six right now. I think tomorrow it'll be seven. But the kids saw like, Oh, what'd you do? Yeah. Yeah. Seriously, Chris, think about this. How many times could you and I in in building trades class gotten Timmy sent to the office?

Speaker: after all the shit you and I went through. Nowadays, we could have taught the class. Exactly. Well, that's the problem. They would have put us in charge. We literally took a class that was on construction generality.

Speaker: So, I mean, you know, the two, the two idiots that literally have been building stuff since we could move, you know, most of the time in trouble, but, um, it's, it's not caught two years ago. I had like five trips to the office.

Speaker: And then this, yeah, this one was the principle. I made an inappropriate joke about the dress code in a meeting the other day. And so the lady - That's the problem with being a comedian is you find the funny. That's the beauty of being a comedian too, because you could find the funny in any situation.

Speaker: I had done six straight nights at the funny bone so I'm like sorry if I'm still in comedy mode but so I had to send an apology to the 20 people or whoever was in the meeting maybe a dozen people and they all replied all like what did you even say what was wrong I'd be the guy sitting there laughing in the corner going that was funny most of them thought it was but whatever so

Speaker: Yeah, I think that's the hardest problem right now with being a teacher is you gotta deal with all that woke shit. Yeah, it's, I mean, I'm pretty good with that, but it's just, the kids are very sensitive in my mouth. I try, sometimes I prioritize trying to be funny over other things and it's, I accidentally implied a kid was fat once.

Speaker: that I thought I do that all the time. Was he fat? Well, yeah, I he he deserved it rhyme at me. And so I rhymed something back and rhymed it with belly. No, I'm sorry, the tick tock I used for an ad.

Speaker: of that girl falling down the stairs during a fire drill. That was fucking hilarious. And is exactly the way I would have handled it. I'm like, get up, stop taking selfies dummy. Yeah, well, that actually I she didn't see me that that's all fiction. She didn't even see me. But she definitely she got she got kind of tripped and pushed. And I'm like, what can I take? That's how comedy works is you take a part of reality and then what you take it into the extreme. Yeah.

Speaker: Well, I mean, especially if you're doing something stupid because, you know, you're, you're a little bit older than us. I don't know. It was, when we were kids, it was Thunderdome. It was every man for himself. You know, I stayed all the time that kids today would not survive.

Speaker: in our classroom. No. Yeah, you had to you had to be quick. You had to be a smart ass and quick. Yeah, it was. So if you didn't if you didn't bully, you were bullied. It was. Yeah.

Speaker: And I feel bad about some of the stuff I did, but I was bullied, I think more than I, you know, I didn't really, I apologize to my kid once, 20 years later. It's the reason Jeff became friends with the biggest guy in our class real quick in a hurry. Why did that guy hang out with Chris? I was like, the smallest guy in the room, and I'm like, that's a big fucking dude. He's kind of funny. I'm going to hang out with him.

Speaker: That was one of the reasons when I took speech class, I literally walked in and it was, you know, Rob was there and 90 % of the guys in the room were all these guys that I've been, you know, always been four years ahead of me or three years or whatever it is. I can't do math.

Speaker: Um, but I was like, I know all these guys. These are the fucking popular guys. This is going to be awesome. And that was the one place in Clear Fork that I was, that was my safe space. Cause I was around the popular kids. Yeah. Yeah. I was up on that stage too in there. Yeah. I remember that little half room we had.

Speaker: That was kind of that was the year I started to come out of my shell a little bit I think that speech class actually helps me because I was very shy and quiet Especially around girls up until that was the first best senior year. I finally started I dated someone a little bit my junior year and then my senior year I was I finally talked to some of them and

Speaker: Now, see, that's what blows my mind because I could look across the room and you were one of the guys that I would literally be like, that dude is rolling in pussy. Because, I mean, look at this dude. He's a good looking cat. And, you know, like I said, I'm in a room with some of the most popular kids in the school.

Speaker: And I'm looking at Rob and I'm looking at who else was there. I think Sam bias was in our class. And I can't remember the girl's name that was in our class. She was a model as well. Real skinny blonde chick. Oh, that was in your grade. No, she was in your grade. They're only like four attractive girls.

Speaker: Can't remember her name, but she was she was a she was a model. She did she she was she did a she did a speech on Where she had to do? What's what was called a window sitting where she would sit in one position? for like three hours and be she was basically she had to be a mannequin a living mannequin or something like that, but you know She was in that class and there all these like said popular

Speaker: Uh, there were, yeah, it was some of the cool kids in there and I kind of, I was just on the outside of that shirt. And I was like, these guys are just rolling in pussy. I was up, I got kicked off of my lunch table, my junior or maybe senior year. I got booted and I went and sat with the troublemakers. How do you get kicked out of a, how do you get kicked out of a, or off of a lunch table?

Speaker: of a

Speaker: The funny thing is, the one thing about Clearfork, I don't know how it was East Knox, but Clearfork and Rob can back me up on this. It was, you know, you know, you see movies from like this, the 80s and 90s where it's you got clicks, there were clicks in our school, but it was more like

Speaker: That click also was, you know, the nerds and the stoners and the sports guys, they're all in the same click. Yeah, there weren't enough people to have that variety. Exactly. We didn't really... My wife says all the time when we watch old movies, she's like, was it like that? And I'm like, no, not my goal. We didn't really have that.

Speaker: It's not like that now the kids, we've read articles in my classes and they're like, no, there's not all these groups. Although mine's kind of a, it's not a super diverse area, but you know, there's 2300 kids and they're like, no, these half these groups don't exist anymore. But yeah, I was going to say, I think it, I think it just depends on how big of a school it is and where it's at and what, and whatnot like that. Because our school was super small too. I think our school is smaller than.

Speaker: than clear for it. So I mean, you kind of had the fringe clicks, but pretty much everybody hung out with everybody. But also, if somebody would have told me that I had to leave the lunch table that I was sitting at because I would have taken my lunch, I would have taken my lunch tray to their throat and bounced right off the table. There's a prison rules. Some of the some of the experience, some of the bad experiences I had in high school, I've recreated in around the block.

Speaker: Like it actually, there are things that happened in real life that I put in the book and my friends like, oh yeah, I remember doing this. I remember that. Well, speaking of your book before we get too much farther into this.

Speaker: Where can, uh, where can your social media and where can people find your book and stuff like that? And I mean, it sounds like you do a majority of your shows in St. Louis, but if you travel outside of St. Louis, uh, go ahead and plug you, plug your shit. All right. Twitter, Tik TOK Instagram is at Rob Durham comedy. No spaces. Um, just Facebook, Rob Durham. You can find me on there. Rob Durham, comedy .com. So my websites and then all my books are available on Amazon.

Speaker: Give the names of each book real quick. We got Don't Wear Shorts on stage, Around the Block, Don't Do Shots with Strangers, and then the other two... Did you dabble into the world of Fidget Shades of Grey and Twilight? Is that what you were trying to do? No, it's like Ten Shades of Grey, if that's fine for Ten Shades of Grey. There's no really gross stuff. They're called Dreaming the Chase and Chasing Back. Okay.

Speaker: nobody reads those I mean I sell them after shows my nonfiction sells on Amazon because as a niche but the fiction doesn't sell and then the book coming out this spring hopefully will be called somebody else's sky which is a lyric by Pearl Jam okay from the song black that was more of a question for Chris because he's a

Speaker: I'm not the biggest Pearl Jam fan. Nothing against Pearl Jam. I do like Pearl Jam, but I can't. If I hear them, I know who they are right off the bat.

Speaker: I won't shoot on Pearl Jam. It's not like they're never gonna fuck that band. Chris really likes, what's that band that Kevin Ollie likes? Oh, Nickelback. Chris really likes Nickelback.

Speaker: I have a friend of mine who does a podcast as well. He lives down in Tampa. And I went down there a couple years ago to meet everybody and see everybody and all that jazz. And this dude shit on Nickelback for like five years. Hated him. Didn't like anything. So we were over at his house one night. We were all drinking and cooking out. And one of the other guys that was there, I was like, just put Nickelback on it. Just play all Nickelback songs.

Speaker: And Kevin was dancing along. He was like, man, who is this? I fucking love these guys. It's Nickelback, dude. And all night long, I fucking love Nickelback. I fucking love Nickelback. They actually have one really good song that came out before. This is how you remind me, called Leader of Men. And it's about tripping on mushrooms, actually. It doesn't sound like other stuff, but it was their first hit.

Speaker: Yeah, they're an alright band. I do love them. I don't understand. I never shit on any band. They're just douchey because all their songs became the same thing and then he just... Well, that and it became a trend to hate them, so. Yeah, exactly. They're a little over produced. Well, they know it and they just kind of like, fuck it, run with it. Yeah.

Speaker: which is kind of what I'm hoping we will have to do one day. I hope one day it is trendy to hate nonsensical nonsense because that'll be awesome. But with your comedy, do you get an opportunity to travel or do you stay pretty local for the most part? I mean, I'll travel anywhere within two to three hours.

Speaker: occasionally I'll say, you know what? I go back to Ohio and do a show every few years. I will not be performing in my hometown of Belleville ever again. I helped him do a fundraiser probably, Jesus, probably been five or six years ago now. And it was for the Athletic Hall of Fame, which my dad is a committee member of. I'm actually a cross country team made it. But it was a big fundraiser. My dad's like, hey, I'm gonna fly you in for this. We'll pay you a few hundred bucks. You know, there's food and all this stuff.

Speaker: and it was on the same night as some big thing up in snow trails, the ski resort up there. And I think like one coat, or no, it's the athletic boosters, not even the hall of fame for the boosters benefiting all these sports and like hardly anyone came. Like they all went to the snow trails thing. And I ended up making more money than the benefit, which is great. So did you feel like you had to donate?

Speaker: Like a small part of you are like, I made like 300 bucks and they made 100. Let me slip them a 50 or something. So the last time I did a show in Ohio, I think I had it down in Columbus and a lot of people actually drove down from Columbus on a weeknight. That I was like, you know what? I'm not going to go in one of these Belleville bars where half of them been drinking since two days ago.

Speaker: yelling belligerently. I've had, you know, I had a classmate heckle so bad once that the other comedian brought him up on stage just to make a fool of himself.

Speaker: Well, yeah, if one of my classmates ever heckled me, I'd literally just walk off stage and punch him in the face. I'm like, it's OK. I know him. It's all right. I know this guy. Yeah. But, you know, I'll travel if if the money's if the money's right. I don't you know, I used to drive the Topeka for 200 bucks, which was like a five and a half hour drive. I'm not doing that anymore. But have you ever gotten the

Speaker: Have you ever got the opportunity to go anywhere like New York or or Tampa and I know Tampa, Tampa in the last probably five years or so has become a huge spot for comedian. Yeah.

Speaker: I did the New York Underground Comedy Festival in 2007. The festival is not the correct word. I think there were maybe 10 people in the room. But the coolest thing is I got to do an open mic at the Comedy Cellar.

Speaker: the mecca of stand -up comedy in my opinion because all those guys I heard do your comics and it's just this tiny little place like Cameron indoor stadium where Duke plays basketball like you go in there like oh this is tiny yeah it's really tiny yeah it was neat to be able to do that because that's where like that's like David tells home clubs so that was really cool there's a lot of legends that have come out of the cellar I mean yeah

Speaker: And that's kind of how Tampa's become over the last five or so years. I mean, they've kind of become the new spot where these comedians and a lot of guys are coming out of Tampa and kind of starting to blow up. I don't want to say that just because I'm not from Tampa, but that's where my buddy's from. And I have several friends and stuff down there. Now Cam Bertram just blew up. And he's out of Tampa.

Speaker: the the

Speaker: Yeah, there's a ton of money to be made on those cruise ships, man. I mean, you hear a lot of guys that will say, yeah, you know, they're just sitting on a carnival for a year and a half. And I made more money than I did. They also said it's like the most depressing thing you can ever do in your life to be on a cruise ship. That is the one thing I think I would hold back from it is being on a cruise ship because

Speaker: You know, if God forbid you do, you're not funny. Yeah, you're not funny. But you heckle somebody and then the next day you see him on the deck and you're like, Oh, shit. You can't leave afterwards. That's a tough one. Yeah, it's really, I gotta say one thing is I'm seriously impressed because I am not ever comfortable on getting on stage.

Speaker: I would literally probably throw up like 40 times before getting on stage, which is why I'm on a podcast says the guy who does a live show twice a week. Well, the difference differences between the live show. I'm literally staring at my bedroom.

Speaker: I'm not staring at a crowd. This is true. You're not paying attention to the chatter's box. You don't do anything outside of turning. I turn my camera on, I'm not sure.

Speaker: And those first few times you're like super nervous and even the first few months you're like, all right, pay attention. Here we go. All right. And then now your brain just is like, okay, this is what I do. That's kind of how it is now up there. I'll get nervous if I can tell the room is really rowdy or if I have to follow someone that is just killing or if it's in front of someone important, I'll get a little nervous, but it kind of feels good to get nervous now because most of the time I'm just like, Oh God, I don't, this is here.

Speaker: My biggest thing is I know for a fact I would get up and bomb so hard I'd want to kill myself.

Speaker: You you you kind of fall into a routine now is your is your comedy Would you say the majority of it is is written out? I know you said you're kind of a robot on on on stage So i'm assuming most of it is written out or wrote out and practiced and whatnot So you you just go out there Do you ever find yourself just because now i'm not a comedian by no means i'm not going to say i'm a comedian but i've been doing live streaming and and stuff like that for probably close to 10 years now and

Speaker: Up until just recently with this podcast, when we've added in segments, nothing I've ever done has been scripted at all. I just run off the cuff and just kind of wing it. Do you have moments like that where you just get up on stage and whether

Speaker: the room, you just didn't feel like what you had. You didn't think the room was gonna be ready for it or wasn't gonna like it or anything like that and just say, fuck it, fly off the coast. Like when I do a one -nighter somewhere, I always kind of look around, you always want to comment on the stage. Like I went up on Friday at this campground, it was a nice, they had a nice stage, nice rec center, and there were probably 120 in the crowd. And for their decoration, I got up there and looked and they just had two pumpkins on each side of the stage. I was like, what's that?

Speaker: It just kind of went off on that. Or last, I think it was in January, I was doing an Elks Lodge in Poplar Bluff, Missouri.

Speaker: And it was just, I mean, this is still the height of COVID. They're smoking indoors. They have a buffet set up. They're American, like they smoke so much. The American flag up there was yellow. So I just wonder how their flag was yellow and oh, nothing to worry. And just occasionally at the beginning of the settle, kind of going to a little rant or if someone messes with me, but yeah, there's off the cuff stuff. And I've gotten better at that over the years. Cause they used to not be good at it at all.

Speaker: but I still even try and premeditate some of those things a little bit, or you drive around their town, if you get there early, just do a lap around the town, which takes usually about two minutes.

Speaker: Well, especially, especially if you got openers and stuff, it gives you that extra little bit of time to read the room and see what's going on. And, you know, especially, you know, as you said, with the flag being yellow, that's something to kind of put in the back of the head. Yeah. Yeah. But as far as like, and I've been kind of, if I wrote as many jokes as I did books, I'd be famous by now, but

Speaker: Yeah, do you do you when you write a joke is it's just something pop in your head? You're like fuck. That's good. I need to write that down What can I do to make this funny it's a lot of trial and error and so I'll take a concept and then you know again change the story so it's funnier and

Speaker: And then I try to, I go open mic almost every Tuesday night, sometimes Tuesday and Sunday, and try these things. I'll take a little sheet of paper with a little cheat sheet of set list up and be like, all right, here comes, you know, you do two or three new, or you do two or three good jokes so that the audience knows, okay, he's one of the people that knows what he's doing up there. Because, you know, open mic, I'm a people knock. And so I just get up there and go through this list. And then if it passes the test, it makes it in the real show.

Speaker: although you just kind of knocked out two things I was curious about I was curious if you did open mic still after being in the game so long and yeah and who you try do you ever I'm assuming you're married right yes yeah do you have any kids or anything no no kids

Speaker: Yeah, I love my kids. I'm just kidding. So do you ever try your jokes out on your wife? She'll run a concept buyer. It's kind of hard because it's in the context of me just saying this. And she'll be like, yeah, that's funny. I don't think that'll work. Come on, baby. It worked. You said it wasn't going to work.

Speaker: This wasn't funny so I'm gonna say it because I know it is I just like she'll come to if I'm headlining a week she'll come out to one show so I'll try it I'll be like hey I got some new stuff I've been working on so I'm just gonna save it till you come out so it's weird cuz open mic crowds are a little even though it's at the comedy club they can be a little different

Speaker: because it's such a smaller sample of people. These jokes, I've been working on a joke about how I got trouble at school for blaring inner Sandman as I was passing out the tests. Which I do sometimes. Well, I totally understand you getting in trouble for playing Metallica. That's like ear rape. It's unacceptable. Yeah, they're anxiety and... How dare you? I was trying to get the lyrics.

Speaker: Say your prayers. It's a quiz. Don't forget my kids to answer everyone. I thought it didn't work. It worked a little bit at open mic. It didn't work hardly at all my whole week at the funny bone. But then at this campground, it killed. Oh, I think it all comes down to as old as as famous as that song is. Some people just don't know that song.

Speaker: Well, that or it was the campground. Uh, was it more of a, was it more of a family setting type deal? I'm thinking a lot of families in there, but yeah, they, I don't know.

Speaker: I mean, I had a really good set on Saturday. So I'm going to try. I have shows Friday and Saturday this week, both in small small town venues. So I'll try to. I think I I don't think with the microphone there echoed so bad. I had to slow down. Maybe I just I don't know. It's it's it's maybe when you get it. Yeah. Sometimes I'll do a joke and it'll work really well. And I'll do it five times again. I was like, it's that was just a fluke that one night. I got to drop it. Never do it again. So frustrating.

Speaker: Yeah, I was gonna say it sounds like it's it's not something that you just like because I know if it was me, I would not write a damn thing down. I guess I'm going off the cuff. Yeah. And people try that because it was terrible. Yeah. Yeah, I know. I don't have to be right shit down. But I also I also feel like

Speaker: And I've had friends of mine tell me, just do it because I'm not a comedian. I would feed off the crowd. I would get the crowd involved a little bit too much. Yeah, which is... It would become a downfall. Yeah, usually openers, the headliner does not like it if the openers talk to the crowd because you're training to the crowd that, hey, they're part of the show. And then if you talk to them, they've probably already tapped into the funny in the crowd.

Speaker: Yeah, you know, and so there's nothing there's nowhere to go. And then if you don't talk to them, like, oh, well, this guy won't talk to us. The previous guys do. We still want to yell out shit. So it's a double edged sword. Yeah, I used to watch when I was a doorman, the headliners would get furious in the back hallway waiting to go on because the middle act or the opening act was talking to the crowd too much. So I learned a lot of stuff just watching what would drive these headliners crazy.

Speaker: And a funny bone there. I'm assuming you're talking about a decent correct. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's not it's not it's not a it's not a big it's not a big venue. I mean it's it's it held about 320.

Speaker: I think they expanded it actually. Yeah, it's over 300, which is pretty good size for a comedy club. I'm sure they expanded it now. I know I was there one time, years ago. This was actually about three days before was named Greg Gerardo.

Speaker: Yeah, killed himself or OD'd. He was there and I was never a big fan. I just didn't really care for him on the roast. But we went and seen him there. We actually went to a Friday and a Saturday night show. And he was hilarious, but both nights, and I've seen your stickers, I know you're an Ohio State fan.

Speaker: but we all have our flaws. I got a degree there at least. I'm sorry. Says the guy that's getting ready to start working at OSU. Again, there was a bunch of Ohio State fans in the audience and they started chanting or started doing that OH bullshit and Gray for about 45 minutes just

Speaker: Shit on them just just wrecked them and it made fun of made fun of Ohio made fun of Ohio State Buckeye fans and you could at first You could tell it kind of threw him off his office office gate as you've come up there to do But then once he started rolling that was probably the funniest I've ever seen that man ever and to be there a person was amazing and

Speaker: that's the thing is heckler thinks they're helping the show and even though he could have that killer said it's like you you don't want that you want to do the jokes that you've spent time crafting on and there's people like i made it funny it's like no you you were painting the ass yeah absolutely never heckle anyone for the simple fact that i know i would get wrote lit up like a fucking roman candle

Speaker: There was, I think it was Seinfeld's movie, Comedian. He explained, if men heckle while they're on a date, they've embarrassed themselves, they've embarrassed their girlfriend, they're not gonna get laid that night.

Speaker: if a girl heckles that night she's gonna she's drunk she can make a fool of herself she'll still get laid there's no penalty for women so I've had to probably deal with more female hecklers in fact yes I've dealt with more female hecklers over the year the belligerently drunk ones than male hecklers like there was a sorority girl once I used to do there was a club at Mizzou called Deja Vu and like I put her in her place I used my go -to and um

Speaker: And like after the show, she was all friendly and flirty. I'm like, no, this is not how it works. That anger was legitimate. I have no respect for you. I wanted to throw a barstool at you. Yeah. You know, I've never, I've never been on stage or anything like that, but

Speaker: You know, I know how quickly, I totally get how quickly some asshole can completely derail your night because, you know, as I said, I've been doing this type of shit for probably close to 10 years now. And, you know, we could be having fun and having a great time. And then all of a sudden somebody wants to come in and try to be a troll and they're in the comments. And it's just like, man, when they try to troll in here, we just kind of destroy them and go back to our,

Speaker: I once got heckled by the, I was the middle actor, got heckled by the headliner. He was counting off, he was counting down the time I left in my set. That headliner, Dustin Diamond.

Speaker: Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah, not to shit on the dead, but I've never seen someone go from four drinks and mildly buzzed to five drinks and belligerent the way I was like, Hey, screech, shut the fuck up. Yeah. Like once he got on stage, he got into it with somebody in the crowd. There was a guy on stage ready to punch him within five.

Speaker: I've heard a lot of stories that he had had a lot of issues with people in crowds and stuff like that, wanting to actually legitimately fight. In all honesty, it sounds like, good night, Joe. It sounds like he turned into, again, not to shit on the dead, but it does sound like he turned into a legitimate scumbag in life, as usual and bought.

Speaker: Yeah, if he's not on that show, he's not, he's not getting booked anywhere. Exactly. No. Looking back at that show, when you're watching, you're like, wow. I mean, one of my favorite things to watch on Facebook is Zack Morris's trash. I find that shit cracks me up every time. But, you know,

Speaker: Oh, yeah. You see, Chris Catan just came through the St. Louis funny bone. Oh, yeah. I guess he was just a mess. One of my friends email, they're like, I know you don't know the place, but this guy, it was embarrassing how wrecked he was on stage and he wasn't funny at all. And I was like, no, you know, you want to see funny? Come see someone you've never heard of. You want to see. Yeah. I mean, I totally get the idea of a couple of drinks to loosen you up.

Speaker: But as we've discovered on this show, when Jeff starts to drink, Jeff starts to call Chris, bitch. Calm down, chief. Jeff, Jeff, Jeff drinks three white calls and all of a sudden he's 10 foot tall. I'm like, shut up, bitch. Meanwhile, meanwhile, I'm cracking open my second case of Budweiser and I'm like, yeah, Jeff, calm down. No, but guys like that, you know, Chris Catan, um, there's a,

Speaker: There's a radio show, a talk radio show that I listen to. And he's come on the show. The dude's a mess. Same with Bobby Lee. These guys are absolute messes, man. And it blows my mind that they're still able to get booked anywhere outside of their name.

Speaker: Yeah, exactly. I mean, it's like, I don't ever see the day where it's like, comedian Rob Durham trashed the stage because he was drunk. I don't see it happen because Rob's not that guy. You know, the one thing I've, I've noticed about, about Rob is you don't, you don't, you get a little bit of fame, you're not gonna let it go to your head, you're not that guy. No, not at all.

Speaker: Well, no. At home, you're like, I am a golden god! Get away from me, woman! Right, because... But in public, you're like, look, okay, you know, as good as I have it now, it can all go to shit. Yeah, I mean, I haven't done anything legitimate, legitimate, that, you know, to even brag about. Yeah, I'm not going to do it, Belville. I've had my name on a marquee at the River Horse. But... Calm down, it's Belville.

Speaker: So it's, you know, my friends keep me pretty level too. And it's, I mean, it's, I'd love to, I'd love to see, I think my ultimate goal in life is to get a book published, published instead of self published. And then, you know, I'll be intolerable for a week or so about that. But I don't think you would totally, I was going to say, how do you publish a book? I'm curious. You have to find an agent and you have to write a query letter has to writing the query letter.

Speaker: is harder than writing the book, I think. I've tried and tried and I've got feedback and people just tear you apart with your query letter.

Speaker: And then once an agent says, all right, I'm gonna try and sell this to the publishers, don't talk to authors. It all goes through agencies. So it's a multi -step process. The biggest scam in the world is the agent. Yeah, I don't have the patience to do that. And then once your book is published, I would like, there's a chance you're not gonna make squat off of it, maybe five, $10 ,000.

Speaker: which is more than I made on some of my books. Wait, what? Rob is obviously way richer than we are. He's like, baby, five or 10. It's chicken shit money. For the amount of suffering and pain in the ass. These books, other than the don't do shots with strangers, that took me six months beginning then. That's the quickest one I'll ever write.

Speaker: and it was short and it was non -fiction. I'm still reading the same book that Tim Allen wrote in 1995.

Speaker: I'm surprised you were ever able to publish one book, let alone your sixth book, since you let Jeff proofread one of them. I'm surprised you're not still working on that one. Once again, I proofread, I commented on the context. Yes. Did you ask for the audio version? Well, literally, I read Rob's, the five or six pages he sent me.

Speaker: and i i got it in my head that i was like i'm gonna write a book oh that's right i wrote like three chapters in one night and set it up for rob and i was like what do you think he's like it'll never sell and i was like okay i'm done because it was like an autobiography and he's like you're nobody knows you and i was like yeah i guess you got a point yeah

Speaker: I mean, you have to, yeah, you would have to write a memoir, not an autobiography memoir for people who want to get famous. Autobiography people already are famous. But there's a lot of people like I've had a lot of people over the years have told me, Hey, I'm writing a book or I want to write a book.

Speaker: And it's like, well, are you currently writing? Do you write every day? And it's the equivalent of saying, I want to run a marathon and then just showing up that morning and go to the starting line. You have to be reading for years. And I did, I blogged my entire twenties and I still write a blog every other day or so, just to keep that muscle going.

Speaker: Right. So it takes, you know, and I've got high school students that are trying to write books and I'm like, you're going to look back at this in five years and laugh, but I commend you for trying. You know, I don't. Hey, you're a dummy. Stop writing. Give up now, kid. Right. Well.

Speaker: I mean, you said you teach literature. So, I mean, it's got to be, for some of the kids, not all of them, but some of the kids, it's got to be aspiring and it's got to kind of, you know, those that say they want to write a book and start writing the book, it's kind of pushed them over that initial step. Because, for instance, how long did it take for you, once you got the bug where you wanted to,

Speaker: Become a comedian. You wanted to do stand -up. How long did it take for you to actually take that initial step? Of getting on stage. And did you have somebody that kind of kicked you in the ass? Yes. I think about two to three months is what it's such a big surprise. I saw that first open mic when I was a doorman at the funny bone. They had a Monday night open mic of amateurs and I was like,

Speaker: I can be as funny as these guys. And then I talk about it, of course, as everybody does. And then there was a comedian named Rod Paulette that, you know, he's like, are you going to do it? You're going to get out. I was like, yeah, I'm going to do it. I'm going to finally took me until February of 2000. And then he's, I was like, I did it. He's like, it's about time. I was like,

Speaker: Well, that definitely did not go as well as I played it. I was actually, because I've talked about this podcast for years, wanting to start a podcast. As I said, I've done the live streaming thing for many, many years, and I'm not super famous by no means, but I have a

Speaker: following, you know, I don't call them fans because I've become friends with pretty much everybody who, you know, has ever, you know, watched my lives come into my lives or anything like that. I've actually legitimately become friends with them. But, you know, and I've talked about it for years and had a lot of people pushing me and saying, just do your podcast, do your podcast. And I was always afraid to take that final step.

Speaker: Yeah, and it wasn't actually until I met my fiance and then this goofy little bastard in Mexico came along came back around and we started talking again because you know, we've been friends we've mentioned it several times we've been we've been friends now for close to 25 years. We don't always we haven't always talked but then him and I start why for I made him mad he got all butt hurt one night. But

Speaker: He came into my life and I didn't know who he was because he had a different name and he started talking to me. I didn't know who he was. And then I was like, Jeff, you want to do this? Because I've been talking about it for a while. That's the funny thing. I was kind of the same way. I listened to when Kevin Smith started his podcast.

Speaker: He made it sound, he kept saying, oh, we gotta bring in a sponsor. If somebody wants a sponsor to keep the lights on. And I was like, well, if Kevin Smith can't fucking keep it running with all his money, I'm dead in the water. So I always wanna do a podcast, but it was like, I don't wanna do it by myself. And then Chris and I reconnected and it was like, if you could see our messenger,

Speaker: like not a day goes by that I don't forget. My phone is across the room and I look at it and there's like 12 messages there. Oh, Chris said something, you know, and then we'll, and we literally talk all day long, every day, and then do a two to five hour podcast twice a week. Two to five hour. Yeah. Well, but no, but then you got people like, like yourself who you get that, you get that book. Now I've had the radio books since, since I was

Speaker: Yeah. 1920. Yeah. And I've had a couple opportunities, but I've walked away from them and turned them down. But you get guys like you. I mean, you're like, hey, I want to do comedy. Fuck it. I'm going to get on stage. And I was trying to.

Speaker: Well, I was not in the position to be, I was not trying to impress any girls or anything like that. I was, actually it was my ex -wife who kind of put the kibosh on both radio opportunities that I had. But then it was my fiance when I met her, she was like,

Speaker: keep talking about this podcast, do it. Yeah, there's so many people that, you know, they say, and I used to give advice, Oh, here's how you publish a book. But I'm like, you know, if you finish the first draft, they get 99 % of the time, they never finished the first draft. And I actually, this sounds weird, but I actually wrote a poem that I performed for my students called 22 to 25 about

Speaker: an artist, a dancer, a musician, and some girl that does yoga. And how the theme is, you know, once you get out of college or on your own in that 22 to 25 year old range, all right, now's the time you're gonna live your dream, but you don't because you sit around because there's an Xbox or whatever else. Nobody gets around to doing, you have no work ethic at that age either. No. Well, that's the reason I didn't clean my apartment today because my Xbox was calling.

Speaker: Yeah, my, my bars of Cancun. So no, that's, that's actually a hundred percent true. I mean, I remember when, when I first got out of high school, man, I had all these crazy ambitions and everything like that. And I was going to, I was going to conquer the world. And then, yeah.

Speaker: you know you made up every excuse under the sun not to chase after those dreams. I don't have enough money right now or whatever. It's a daily battle just to get myself to sit down and write sometimes or you know right now I'm going through the sixth draft of this book and I've got it it's 200 and

Speaker: I think it's 201 pages. I have to go through with the pen and mark everything I want to tweak and change on that. Then I have to go through and basically put out a seventh draft. And that's not fun. First chapters are fun. Of those 201 pages, how many pictures are there? There's none. Because those are about 181 pages too long. Yeah, exactly. Well, I mean, if I were ever to put out a book, it would be like, this is my Instagram book. It's just pictures.

Speaker: They tell a story. Now there's a bit of a cathartic feeling though from the books that I write are books I wish I would have had to read when I needed them at that point in my life. So this one is about my 20s right now and it's about you know a guy that thinks just he's been with one girl and thinks well I should marry her.

Speaker: because that's the only girl he's ever been with. And see how many people make that mistake. And I was like, boy, I didn't get married at 25, but every girl I dated at that age, I was like, well, she's gotta be the one for me to even date her. And you know how stupid you are when you're near early 20s. Well, I maintain the something I tell my wife all the time. My wife is 14 years younger than me. And she is in her, she's,

Speaker: I was gonna say, Jeff can't see it, but yeah, you got, I was feeling pretty good about myself with my fiance being 10 years younger than me. And then Jeff's like, my wife's 14 years younger. I met her when she was eight. One thing I tell my wife, she's in her 20s and being in her 20s, she gets mad at a lot of things that I'm like, that's unimportant shit.

Speaker: You know, and and I said, you know what? When you hit about thirty five, you're going to wake up one morning, go, wow, all the shit I bitch and moan about, I don't care about anymore. Yeah. And I maintain that it's about that, you know, right about thirty three to thirty five, thirty six. The one day you wake up like, aha, I get it. Because in your 20s, you think you know it all.

Speaker: in your thirties, you go, I don't know shit. And your forties, you go, I really don't know fuck all. I look back at my, my Facebook memories every day. And I'm like, what the hell was I posting 12 years ago? What the hell was I? I look back at my Facebook memories and I look back at my Facebook memories and realize that I could never be a in office or coach a NFL team at this point.

Speaker: Of course, that I have this podcast that's really kind of sealed the deal. Anybody running for politics should never be on the show. At some point in time, Rob's going to run for city council or something like that in St. Louis, so they're going to contact us and I'll be like, well, I mean, on episode 48.

Speaker: Two of my comedian buddies, they had a podcast. They started podcasting in late 03. And they were making the top 10 Apple comedy podcasts every week. It was called the Bill and Dan show and nobody else was doing it. And I was on, like they have followers from Australia. Like I was terrible at radio and podcasting. So I was kind of the heel of the show. They'd bring me on every few months.

Speaker: But I mean, he was a lawyer, too, and he started working for a judge and just canceled the show. And they're looking back. They're like, God, we could have been world famous. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, that's that's the crazy thing. Like back then, there was only like 15 podcasts in general. Yeah. Now 15. That was every week. Yeah, that was the early early stages of podcasts. And I mean, it's it's.

Speaker: You gotta be a trendsetter. Yeah. Well, and that's the crazy thing. I'm sure Chris will back me up on this. Back in 03, I was thinking I should do a podcast. I just don't have somebody to do it with. And, you know, Chris and I hadn't been in touch since high school. Yeah. Well, programming back, now it's so easy. We use Anchor. We post everything on Anchor. Shout out to Anchor.

Speaker: And literally, all we gotta do is upload the audio and walk away. Right. And it does everything. You know, you had MP3s and RFS feeds and... Well, and back then, I think it would have been a lot harder for the three of us to do what we're doing now. I mean, Jeff's in Mexico, you're in St. Louis, and I'm in Ohio. So, I mean, I don't know if it would have been possible to do it back then. It was so much harder. And like I said, every...

Speaker: Tom, Dick and Harry and Jeff and I are those Tom, Dick and Harry's, they can put on a podcast. I mean, I don't know how many comedian friends I've had there. I'm doing a podcast and there'll be for maybe three or four months. That's our thing. Yeah. Some people actually do get started on stuff. And then, and then give up. Yeah. They stop a few months later and it's like, didn't come in all the way. We, we agreed in the very beginning, you know,

Speaker: If we get paid from this, great. Super. But we realized really early on, we actually really enjoyed it. We actually have almost, we literally, this weekend was like the hardest weekend. Thank God I was sick.

Speaker: I woke up Saturday morning going, forget podcast day. And then I was like, fuck, we're not going on podcast day today because it's Chris's birthday tomorrow. Fuck, I'm going back to bed. You know, I know I ruined. I ruined everything. I'm sorry. Oh, my weekend was just wrecked. It was it was it was my birthday weekend. And my fiance, she actually she lives in Tennessee and I live in Ohio. So yeah, King and Queen of long distance relationships meeting. So she had

Speaker: What's that? You could meet in Kentucky. Well, yeah, we could. Lawrence. Yeah, Florence. Actually, yeah, no, we go through Florence. Every time we, either when I go down there, she comes up, we go right through Florence and we got that big water tank. Her and my son came up this weekend and they were up here. So I told Jeff, I was like, we're going to take a break from the podcast. I don't want to take away time from her because

Speaker: You know, we'll only get so much time together as it is until she moves up here. And we did the, we calculated it today. And I think we got like six or seven months before she moves up here. Plus. Yeah. Plus she's new because I live in Mexico.

Speaker: Well, and that's the other thing. You don't have to worry about helping her move because my pops and Joe, my stepmom, they're so excited for her to move up there that he's like, just give us the date. I'll drive the dually in the trailer down. Any reason for pops to drive that fucking truck. Yeah, right.

Speaker: My pops has a brand new Ford dually. I have 350. And we live in Newark. So I don't know if you're familiar with Newark. Yeah, my name is Mike. Yeah, well, he works like less than a mile, maybe a mile from his house. So he literally fills up the tank in his dually like once every three months. If he drives it. Yeah. Or he'll take that.

Speaker: Stupid can am or one of his other toys Summer said you wouldn't help. Anyways, Chester. You carry box down the stairs and be dead That's right. I did. I did have I did have one kind of a curiosity thing Have you ever had any of your students come to your show? Yeah all the time Current current students or after they graduated both actually

Speaker: I get more students that come out than fellow teachers now. Oh, is it awkward at all? Or is it just like, you know, or do they know you at this point?

Speaker: They kind of know how I am and yeah, there are some sexual jokes in there. It's more former students that have graduated. It sounds like outside of the couple sexual jokes here and there and maybe some into windows. It doesn't sound like your personality from teacher to comedian really changes a whole lot. It's the same voice.

Speaker: uh no i i think it's i think they have a different a new respect for me when they see me there because they're like okay he kind of well maybe we should be laughing at his jokes in class instead of just staring at them well they should laugh at your jokes yeah they should laugh at your at your jokes in class because maybe it'll help them with their grave yeah exactly especially if that fat dummy that thinks he's funny wants to cry jokes and

Speaker: I've had three former students get up on stage and perform. One of them I'm still mentoring. He's a senior at Mizzou, Austin Woods. I've had him open for me twice. I've paid him to open for me, so he's going to continue and do that. I think the fact that you're writing your sixth book and that you teach creative writing, if I'm correct, is what you were saying. That would be like the most, because I know the teachers I had,

Speaker: I can only remember, like, one or two that were, like, inspiring. I had a... Tom Tinney wasn't very inspiring. Tom Tinney was not inspiring at all. He inspired me. He inspired me to find a different career, but... No, but, like, I don't remember in... My goodness, the second greatest thing you've ever said. At elementary school, sixth grade, there was a...

Speaker: of the

Speaker: class was my class because that woman went everywhere like she's been to Egypt and when she talked about Egypt, she would tell stories. Yeah, she had to wait. It was inspiring. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I had a teacher. I had a teacher like that and he drove a high. Yeah, she had a bad ass whip. I had a teacher like that when I was in junior high when he was in college, he had actually bought stock into Nike.

Speaker: Oh, nice. Pepsi. So every day, because he didn't have to teach, like he was one of those guys that had more money than he knew what to do with it. He taught because he loved it. Well, we had the same thing. We had Mrs. Jones. But every day he wore Nike. I mean, from head to toe, he was in Nike here.

Speaker: and he was always drinking some kind of Pepsi product but he was he was like that super cool teacher traveled all over the place this is a guy who who wrote me a pass when the Reds were in the playoffs one year so I could sit in his class the entire day and and and watch baseball him and I watched baseball together because he was a Reds fan too

Speaker: And they were in the playoffs and they had a game like on a Wednesday, early afternoon. He was like, we're just going to write you out the rest of your day. I mean, I mean, what, what I'm saying, I mean, just like that. I mean, those are the kinds of teachers that I'm sure you are, Rob. I mean, you're, you're the kind of teacher that, that you would

Speaker: entertain while teaching. Yes. That was the great thing about Mrs. Carlin. Mrs. Jones was the same way. Her parents owned Jones potato chips. I mean, we were never lacking in Jones chips.

Speaker: the one great thing about teachers like that is it's inspiring like if i had rob as a teacher i would be like this motherfucker he's been there i want to be a writer this is the guy's class i want to be into this is the guy's class i want to pay attention to it sadly it sadly it seems like these days and that's kudos on you rob uh... there's not enough teachers that are like that anymore there's not enough teachers out there who who who

Speaker: really seem like they care. I mean, I remember when I grew up, I had, I had a handful of teachers that in all honesty, now we had those couple of teachers that were assholes, but we had, I had a handful of teachers. I remember going through school and I still remember to this day who literally, you know, had it not been for them, I would have never graduated through school. Yeah. Graduated or anything like that. The reason, the only reason I passed, um,

Speaker: I can't, I, it was a, it was a history class, but we had to give a speech. It was at the career center and I can't remember the teacher's name, but she paired me with a girl that was afraid to get up in front of everybody. And that girl did all the research and I talked, you know, I mean, she, the teacher knew it.

Speaker: She was struggling because it was kind of a multiple speech where speeches were given and I was struggling because I can't read. I can't read. But I can't I can't focus. Yeah. And so she paired us together. She said, Look, I know you both are struggling. So you do the research, Jeff, you read. And we're like, got it. And that

Speaker: Jeff, your dude said, Stevie said you look like Steve Buscemi. I'll take that as a compliment. Steve Buscemi. I was actually thinking more Walton Goggins since you shaved your beard off. If Walton Goggins had a retarded twin brother, you'd be him. The wish version.

Speaker: She sent me a pic and she sent me a pic so that means I can post it on Facebook. Thanks a lot Oh Before you decide to post that on Facebook Send me a picture of somebody dancing around their living room with a shirt You're gonna laugh your ass off

Speaker: Okay. I may or may not have gotten a little drunk on Sunday night. A little. Holy shit. My answer to what she sent me was, hello, TikTok. Yeah. That's why I was afraid that was going to end up on my, uh, my, my middle daughter. Uh, I have, I have four kids. So yeah, Chris doesn't own a TV. No wonder you're angry. Yeah. I have four kids and all my God.

Speaker: That's another thing. So this weekend, my fiance comes to my house. I'm a big football guy. I'm a Michigan fan. Judge me how you will. Oh, geez. I knew you could get along. So Saturday, she's sitting on the couch. And I'm watching the Michigan game, Michigan versus Nebraska. And she starts going, they barely beat. That was an ugly game. But that's because, oh.

Speaker: Rob, you and I can talk sports. Jeff will plays over here. Trust me, I will talk sports all day, every day with anybody who's willing to.

Speaker: They barely beat him because Jim Harbaugh's a fucking moron and he wants to force this passing game when we have probably a top five rushing game in college football. He's from the school district, I teach. He's from the school right down the road, Eureka. Oh, is he really? Yeah. He was a monster. When he played basketball too, when he was shooting free throws against our school, our student section started chanting, let's go buck, guys.

Speaker: Haskins, Jeff, Jeff, I know you don't understand football. You don't understand sports, but Haskins is built and has the speed of a wide receiver, but runs like he's a running back, but he runs like Jim Brown. He's, he's a monster. He's very powerful, but he's like, he's what? Six, five, six, six.

Speaker: I don't know. He's a big running back. But they've also got Blake Quorum who's one of those little finesse guys.

Speaker: She's sitting on the couch beside me, going, go Nebraska. Let's go to Nebraska. And I'm like, you do realize, I was like, you do realize we're in Newark, Ohio where domestic violence is perfectly fine. It's a normal Tuesday. So then Sunday, she starts doing this, let's go Chargers crap. I'm a Browns fan. And I'm like, you're killing me.

Speaker: But anyways, so I got a little drunk Sunday. It was my birthday. I got a little my, my, my middle daughter, my, my 12 year old, she recently came out and so summer had like tied my shirt up and rolled my shorts down and I was dancing and twerking. The shirt was tied up. Do you remember the movie Mo Money?

Speaker: with the weigh -ins brothers yes i didn't watch it but i recall the okay the scene where or or or in um uh scary movie when when the weigh -ins brother tucks his shirt up through his through his uh yeah head hole and he's like does this make me okay that's how his shirt was okay and he stopped around the house going hi huh

Speaker: Yeah, it was like a good birthday. I am an interesting character when I get drunk. I'm a happy drunk for the most part. You know, I just have fun and I torment the shit out of my kids because you know, why not? That's your right as a father. Yeah. Well, I mean, yes, I did get a good birthday present. And yes, there was that.

Speaker: No, Rob, is there any, is there any plant kids on your end? Rob can see the comments. No, I'm, uh, I'm 44 and she's around my age. I'm not allowed to get her age publicly. So that, she's 65. No, I'll tell you what.

Speaker: Rob's wife, I do have to say, she's a beautiful woman. Yeah. Well, I don't, I don't creep on anything that hard. No, I'm not, I'm not creeping on anything. But what I'm saying is, is, is the fact that these two don't have kids, their kids would really look like a miniature Brad Pitt walking down the street.

Speaker: We've got a bad gene pool though my teeth and acne and her acne and she's got I mean We didn't want to do that to any kids Just the awkward alone. I'll wait until Rob's famous until I creep on his wife These are two beautiful people, thank you, but yeah Kids is kind of

Speaker: What's that? I stuck her on the cover of that book and put pictures of her in there. There you go. Well, I mean, you know, some people, you know, some people, you know, they get they get focused on their career and just have a kid. It's only I'll tell you what, Rob does one of the smartest things I've ever seen. He takes all the pictures he wants and videos he wants while on vacation and waits till he gets home to publish.

Speaker: Yeah. Well, yeah, that's, that's usually what I do. Yeah. Through the weeks that I put up, but yeah, I've learned. Cause if you, you know, if you post them all day, all you spend all that time on your phone, just checking for life. That's what, that's what, that's what I tried to, that's what I tried to tell my fiancee cause she gets mad at me all the time. Cause she's like, you never take pictures. You never post when we're on vacation. I'm like, yeah, I take pictures, but I don't post until after we're done because.

Speaker: I'm trying to enjoy the moment, enjoy, you know, everything like that. You know, where she's, she's, and not that she's not enjoying the moment and being there and having fun or anything like that, but she's, she posts all the time where I'm just horrible at social media in general. So, you know, Rob and I could literally be

Speaker: in the same room and i won't know until like a week later when he's home in ohio and i'm like motherfucker i was literally just there yeah i'm in the background of that fucking picture speaking speaking of ohio rob you're gonna have to let me know uh next time you get back out this way if you're doing a show or something so i can come out now i expect like tickets comped and and

Speaker: an open tab but well I won't do that to you you don't you don't have to have an open but you don't have to have an open tab for me I won't do that because he's not worried about that ten thousand dollars from the books i'd love i'd love that um now but no i would definitely like to go one nighter in columbus uh all my you know a lot of my comedy connections in columbus aren't doing it anymore or

Speaker: I don't know. There's not around or you know, have well, that was good. I was something that brings up. I'll have my people talk to you. How is the comedy scene right now with covid and all that shit? It's healing. It's not safe. Nobody's wearing masks in the club ever. It's you know, the cruise ships really hurt. But yeah, a lot of my friends, that was my advice. I released a YouTube video when when the shutdown happened and I said my advice is

Speaker: find something else to make money on because this is going to take at least a year before clubs open back up and you know I thank god it didn't happen to you know this shutdown wasn't 15 years ago because teacher which they wouldn't have needed right and you know so it's it's getting back actually st louis is opening another funny bone actually in st charles little town i live just on the outskirts of it

Speaker: Well, and that's the fortunate thing for you is that you're not a full -time comedian. So, COVID didn't really, you know, kick you in the nuts as hard as it, as hard as it hit others because you do have your career in teaching and whatnot. That was the problem we had here.

Speaker: There's a bunch of guys here that their full -time job as musicians. Yeah, and They're just like well, we're gonna starve

Speaker: No, I actually had a pretty good winter still this year, because there were a lot of older comics that were like, I'm not going out in this. I'm too old. Rob's going, I'll take the gig. I'll take the gig. And these were like lucrative. I'm like, I should charge more. You guys are making a ton more than me every night to sell. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker: say, Hey, you gotta, you gotta know the system. You gotta know that you need a new manager. I can not only can I be your manager, I can also be your head of security. They don't pay you what you want. We'll have a chat with them in the back room and they'll give you what you want money. I got an old school mafia mentality. You know, sometimes a good conversation goes a long way.

Speaker: Now, the one thing Chris and I talk about is we talk about often is like, what if? And what's your ultimate goal there, Rob? If you like headlining Vegas or like Netflix special, what's the ultimate dream? To publish a best seller. So as opposed to the famous comedian. OK. See there you go.

Speaker: because yeah i mean you still have to travel as an author right right it's you you do all the work you can do work with your pants off you know all your writing and that's the joy of this podcast is i don't have pants on right now so you know comedy i've been doing it 20 some years and it it like last week that's saturday i had to drive an hour and a half

Speaker: through winding roads. You know, I was on the interstate for maybe 40 minutes, but the other 50 minutes was just those back roads. Here comes the door. And it's like, oh, this is not fun, but it was my best paying gig I've had all year. So, you know, once I got on state, it's like, oh yeah, this is fun, but it's, it feels like driving to work. I, people like, what are you doing for now? It's the money. I'm a completely jaded,

Speaker: comic and not to name drop again but I uh I wrote in my book and it's kind of cool I got to show him I worked it was 2003 I got to work with bobcat gold plate from police academy nice oh how cool is that he's a very intelligent and between shows he had his reading glasses on and he was reading a book between shows with glasses on and he's like sorry I'm not much fun you'll understand someday

Speaker: And two or three years ago, I opened for him at the St. Louis Funny Bone, and I showed him that part in the book, that anecdote, and I was like, I get it now, dude. He's like, see? He's like, that's so funny. He's like, sorry, it was so boring. I was like, no, I completely get it now, because I don't, you know, I read books between my shows, too. Yeah. Well, the thing you see when you see stand up

Speaker: You know, like I said, I was watching Dave Chappelle today. And I love stand up. I love watching stand up. I like to laugh, you know, sue me. But you would think like after the show, after I know when Chris and I get done with with doing the podcast, we're amped for another good hour and a half. Yes. Hence the reason Saturday after shows have come about.

Speaker: Yeah, we have shows that are longer than the podcast. We don't we don't necessarily. I've never posted any of the after shows. It's more just us live streaming and whether we're live on here, we're live on TikTok or whatever. You know, it's just it's just more us just hanging out and bullshitting and anybody who joins us, they join us. And, you know, if not, it's just Jeff and I just freaking hanging out because

Speaker: I'm still drinking and you got me to sing because I was drunk off my ass.

Speaker: You know, but I mean, uh, after a show, Rob, how, how, how amped are you? Especially show that goes well, pretty wound up. And then I, I get to sell my books afterwards, like care, you know, if I sell more books, that that's a nice feeling too. You get all that cash tax free. I decided, but yeah, you decided, I like that. You've got that just 45 minutes to an hour of dopamine.

Speaker: Yeah. Over and over and over. Absolutely. A little from drinking and then you go back to your hotel room by yourself. It's no wonder comedians are depressed and have drug problems and alcohol. Yeah. Oh, it's be crazy. I know that all too well. As Jeff and I have talked, I just turned 40.

Speaker: for the first time in my life, I live alone, so to say. What's going on, Anthony? Thanks for the heart, brother. So I totally get that feeling of, yeah, the show's done.

Speaker: And now I'm nobody's here. There's nothing going on. What do I do? And you go from that super high and you just, what the fuck am I going to do now? Yeah. Yeah. When I was single, it was really depressing because you're like, all right, there's got to be some girls at this show that will, and they all leave with their dates. And it's just, you go back to a hotel room and it's like, what am I doing with my life? Yeah. Well,

Speaker: The one thing I've noticed is like, when we get done with the show, I'm amped and I'm up until three o 'clock in the morning, but everybody else in the house has passed out dead cold. And I'm like, and I ended up watching Netflix until three o 'clock in the morning because it is one of the most purest highs ever. And besides selling the books, what do you do to combat it?

Speaker: I often have a few beers, like after a video. If I just have a couple beers. I feel like your view is different than mine. Chris's view is like 6 12.

Speaker: I'll write like a blog maybe about the show or I don't eat, I don't eat fast food hardly at all. So I'll be like, Oh, I'm going to get some Wendy's. That's going to be a crazy night out for me. Better as I'm older than married, you know, it's.

Speaker: I'm married. I'm not out there looking for women, obviously. Yeah. So I'm better at it now. Um, actually I did a lot of writing those, those two novels I wrote in 2013 and 14. I did a lot of writing on the road those summers. Five to 8 ,000 words a day.

Speaker: Holy crap. I guess that would be a good way to combat it because you're amped, you might as well do something constructive. My wife and I spoke about it a while back. She hates podcast day because she can't spend time with me, but it's the one thing I tell her, I'm in the same room as you. It's not like I'm at the bar drinking. It's probably a good thing that we do the podcast remotely because

Speaker: I don't think Chris and I would ever stop.

Speaker: Right. Oh, yeah. If we were in the same room. We had episodes that are 12 hours long. I hear it too. And we were both ahead. The podcast would end. But we'd end the podcast, but then we would just be hanging out. We could go live again. We'll just hang out and drink. I got two real quick hitters for you, Rob. Anthony in the chatters box. Yeah. He asked if politics, now we don't really jump into politics here.

Speaker: and try to avoid we avoided at all costs but he asked if politics was killing comedy and i also i would like i would like to know does your wife travel with him does she go to these shows with you and stuff so let me let me address the the politics thing first no i don't think it's killing um people actually call the funny bone

Speaker: And they're like, is it just going to be, you know, bashing a president or do it? And they're like, no, it's not because, you know, especially in the Midwest, your crowd is half and half. And so you only need at least at least one side of it. So.

Speaker: Which is why we try to stay on a politics. Yeah. Yeah. It's in entertainment. I, you know, if you have a microphone and you want to talk about, that's fine. And a lot of comics, I know Jimmy door is a celebrity now because of his political stances. I think his stuff is just YouTube. So, you know, if you want to get into that and get death threats, great. But, um, I don't know enough. It's like.

Speaker: I just don't have the energy to argue anymore. I'm not going to change anyone's mind. No, that's exactly where I'm at. I'm in the same page as you, Rob. I don't care. I don't know enough, and I don't care. Which is why I stay off Twitter. I don't know why, but I will keyboard argue all day long on Twitter, which is why I don't man our Twitter feed.

Speaker: I used to get into Facebook fights and I just learned to unfollow mostly my classmates, but it's just not worth it. I was arguing with a former classmate of mine and we weren't like best buddies, but we knew each other and we were talking about

Speaker: I think it was whether people choose to be gay or not in the Bible and the Old Testament. And, you know, he brought, he thought the earth was 6 ,000 years old. He was one of the, and I was like, look, we can't even, if we're coming from this two different planes. Yeah. I mean, that's arguing about, he's like, okay. Red and blue are green. Well, I mean, I've, I've, I've had friends, uh,

Speaker: of color, I guess you could say, yeah, POCs, that I've been friends with for 10, 15, 20 years, who just recently, in the last couple years, have decided that I'm racist.

Speaker: And I'm like, we've known each other all these years. And now all of a sudden I'm a racist. Like we've been friends. We call each other brothers. We know each other's family, you know, and now all of a sudden I'm a racist. Come on, man. You know, like you're really binding to the bullshit. And so I told Jeff, when we talked about this podcast, I said two things. We're not going to talk about politics. We're not going to talk about religion because automatically you divide your, your audience. You shoot yourself in the foot before you even get started. Yeah.

Speaker: Which I feel the same thing about comedians. Have you had to deal with any cancel culture? Any cancel bullshit? Right now, Dave Chappelle, his new special, The Closer, is the trans community or whatever are going after for something he said, but I don't think they actually watch the special.

Speaker: uh well yeah i haven't watched i haven't liked his last few specials so oh the closer i'll have to i'll check it out eventually just because i see everybody commenting on about it but i i don't like comedy on video anymore like i i have to be there in person

Speaker: And I'm very, you know, I'm jaded when I watch it. I watch more of the technique than I do the actual joke or sometimes I'll see. I was like, Oh, I know where this is going or that kind of thing. Yeah, I see the setup. It's like, you know how the sauce is made. So you're like,

Speaker: Yeah. I do the same thing. Not that our podcast is successful or anything like that. But I do the same thing now. I listen to podcasts a lot differently than how I used to. And a lot of times, in all honesty, I'm not really judging them. I'm learning from them where before I just listened to them for the entertainment factor. And I enjoyed them. And now I still enjoy the podcasts that I listen to. But I'm also listening to them to learn from them.

Speaker: and see what they're doing and seeing if we can tweak it. I don't judge anybody. I don't judge other podcasts because the podcasts that I listen to are very successful. And I understand that we're still babies in the game. We're still trying to figure out our identity and what we're doing exactly. Now, the one time I have XM radio,

Speaker: and uh you fancy yeah i went my ass with thousand dollar bills and listen to the radio and i think it's my feet present the uh the only time i listen to comedy is when i'm driving home from a gig if i have like a two hour drive home but even that's depressing because it's a lot of comedians that i know personally and i'm like oh man they

Speaker: There are so much bigger deals than me. Do you guys know who Nikki Glazer is?

Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. When I moved to St. Louis, she was just an open miker. I'm friends with her. Oh, really? Now she's this megastar. She did a name dropper. Excuse me, why name drop? That's three. If you're keeping score, I think on my name. Yeah. One time I threatened to

Speaker: choke, choke slam Rick Nash's brother and throw him out of the club. Does that kind of the name drop? I was a bouncer. Bob Saget, Bob Saget told me that Robert De Niro told him never to name drop. So that's four. I think Jeff, your other question though is does my wife ever travel with? Yeah, I was

Speaker: I'm just curious if your wife ever travels with you. Not all the time, but every once in a while. When we were dating, she came out to some one -nighters in like, you know, nowhere, Illinois, and she was severely disappointed. She's like, I thought it was going to be like, you know, what's that NFL show The Rock is on on HBO? Ballers.

Speaker: Oh yeah. He's like, I thought it was going to be like that. I was like, yeah, people do a cocaine off a stripper's ass now. It's a picture of beer. It's a picture of beer at the end of the night and crying, crying in the car. Basically, basically much, much like my fiance, she was like, it's a good thing you dicked me down good because you're really not that funny. Yeah.

Speaker: She'll come out and she brought some friends out actually to my last show and she's like, I still get nervous for you. But she loves it. Nothing turns her on more than if I have a female heckler and I make a, I put a female heckler in their place. She, I made a woman cry once and she's like, I would have just, Oh.

Speaker: She knows my act pretty well, and she would never get on stage ever. I dated a girl once, my first girlfriend in my 20s, she actually MC'd a show for me once. She's like, I've written some jokes. I was like, all right, here's a joke. And the only joke that worked was the one I wrote for.

Speaker: No, I know how that goes. I mean, with like the whole streaming thing that I do, when my wife, after my wife and I split, I started dating the next girlfriend from high school. Yeah. And she would come on my streams because she's like, I can do it better than you can.

Speaker: And then it just turned into then it just turned into a whole whole bunch of dudes being like show us your boobs Just another random whore on the live camera That's the one the one advantage we have Over girl streamers is

Speaker: guys are watching their stream for the occasional nip slip or something like that. We literally have to be funny. It's very easy for a girl to become famous in a song. It's very hard for a girl to become famous for what she's saying.

Speaker: Yeah, they're, you know, I've seen like the female comedians in the 80s and 90s and even early 2000s, they had it rough. They were disrespected and share a condo with Louis CK.

Speaker: But, watch me check off. Nowadays, they are getting more stage time than anyone. Like, you know, Jamie Foxx, the reason he named himself Jamie is because when he'd sign up for open mics, he knew they would put him on stage because they thought he was a girl. Oh, right. Well, really. And I mean, there there there are a lot of female comedians

Speaker: I feel like I feel like maybe 20 years ago you know April Macy or yeah Whitney Cummins or she's kind of got a porn star name or what's her name Liza Schlesinger?

Speaker: Yeah, they would have never gotten a chance in hell. But now I mean, but these girls are funny as hell. These women are hilarious. Yeah. I can't remember her name. It's it's she's got Netflix special. One of them is called Elder Millennial. She's hilarious.

Speaker: Is Isla something I think are funny and then there are No, you're just looks you're your only looks yeah, yeah, no, there's I Don't I think the buddy is female comic of all time. I think is Maria Bamford. I

Speaker: Okay. Yeah. Yes. Maria Bamford. I got, I got the honor of working with her. I think it was like Oh nine, but she's like the only comic that if somebody said, Oh yeah, what was one of her bits? You can't recreate it. No, because it's voices and purse out and they're just so weird. And they go off on these tangents and she's just a genius.

Speaker: But you know, it's not fair. I told me there was a comedian a few years ago. He's like, this girl's only been doing comedy for a few months and she's already got this and this and this. And I'm like, dude, it's showbiz. It's it's never going to be fair. But that's how I'm streaming. Yeah, that's how April Macy is.

Speaker: April Macy is, she's gorgeous. Yeah, I mean, she really is. She's a beautiful woman, but she's fucking hilarious. If you would, and again, this goes back to the radio, the morning show I listened to, she's a friend of the host. So she comes on all the time. So I've heard a little bit different side of her than what you see in her standups. But yeah, she's absolutely fucking hilarious.

Speaker: There is a story about April Macy. Yeah, it doesn't involve me, but it's something I worked with a lot told me she works. She used to do a gig out at Lake of the Ozarks. It's a Wednesday night gig. It's a you get this little hotel that faces the lake and it's called the it was called the Blue Room City Grill. And there's usually I've actually heard her talk about that. Yeah, she like every time I'm there, they have her poster up.

Speaker: Like constantly, I mean, why wouldn't you leave it up after you put up before? And so, um, I guess she was there with this committee or she's telling the screen. She's like, yeah.

Speaker: I mean, the owner, you know, we were on his boat for like three hours and then you want to do lunch and this and this and this, then we want to go shopping. And the comedian's like, I've never even met the owner. She's like, really? She's like, we go on this boat every time. It's like, yeah, you get all this extra shit because you're hot. Whereas we sit in a hotel room all day waiting for a fresh coffee.

Speaker: So you go to side splitters and.

Speaker: bum fuck nowhere and you're, you're staying in a condo where 500 other comedians are stayed in and they haven't cleaned it once. But no, I mean. Yeah, I do like Sarah Silver. I like her more as an actress than a standup. Yeah, I was gonna say the same thing. She's better as an actress. She had a show with Seth Green where the characters were puppets.

Speaker: It was on Fox for like a season. God, I have the DVD of it too. It was so funny. She played like the bitchy boss on it. I think I know. I do remember that. I can't remember what it's called. That was such a funny show. It's one of those little head of its time. Yeah. Well, somebody, somebody I actually found really funny was that I can't remember her name is, it's, uh, I want to say Abby Wong.

Speaker: She's got that Ali Wong, yes, thank you. Oh yeah, Ali Wong. She did that always be my maybe. She's a hilarious actress too. I remember when she had like last comic standing early on or whatever too. I think so. Well, one of the funny guys that was on last comic standing, one of the only people that had me laughing audibly on last comic standing was the black guy, Bowdoin. Alonzo, thank you. You've been in my car.

Speaker: That dude is hilarious. I used to have famous people who've been in my car on my web page list. That show, by the way, was Greg and Bunny with Greg the Bunny. Yes. Yeah. She's got a lot of shit lately for shit she said on her podcast.

Speaker: Yeah. The only, the only problem I have with, with Ali Wong is that she, that she seems to play into the Asian stereotype to get more attention and stuff like that. Yeah. Well, I mean, sometimes, sometimes that you take, not to, not to defend, but, but sometimes you got to take the advantages you got. Yeah.

Speaker: I have too many jokes about teaching, but it's what I know, so... Yeah, well, they... I remember seeing a movie or a sitcom or something where a pizza delivery guy wanted to do stand -up, and he spent the entire time talking about why it's a circular cut into a triangle and put in a square box, you know? And it was like, of course, he got crickets. Yeah. But...

Speaker: Well, I think, I think no matter. Yeah, I was gonna say, I think no matter what, what you do, you, you, you take from what, no, you have to learn to.

Speaker: You know, separate. Yeah, exactly. I was going to say way the scales and I'm just going to do hand motions and not everybody can see that because a lot of people will listen to this after the fact. But yeah, you've got to learn to separate the two. Yeah. One of the best examples of that I've ever heard was Eddie Murphy told a story once when he was like 15, got up on stage at an open mic and they're like,

Speaker: He's like, I want to do stand up. And everybody's like, do it. And he's like, I don't know what the hell I'm going to talk about. I'm fucking 15. And they're like, talk about what you know. So he sat there and talked about taking a shit. Yeah. He's like, you ever have a problem with a splash up on your butt? You know, and and it obviously worked for him. You know, the most stereotypical black voice you could ever be. Well, I'm glad you could join us for the podcast after your clan meeting.

Speaker: Actually, it's after the podcast. Oh, sorry. I think he was even younger than 15. I think he was like 10 or 12 or something like that. But he was talking about, he literally sat there and he did 10 minutes, open mic of about taking a shit. And he said the place was rolling with laughter and he was hooked ever since. Yeah.

Speaker: Yeah, he's it's some people have to write and say funny things and some people just say things funny. I think it's tough to you know, I'm just now learning how to be a storyteller on stage. I've got a few little shorter stories that I'm trying to build up but I've never been much of a storyteller even though I write books I just get right to the point I don't have the good build up sense of it.

Speaker: Well, uh, speaking, speaking, speaking, speaking of storytelling and timing and stuff like that. Um,

Speaker: how hard was it to get like your timing down? Because, you know, Jeff and I will come on here and we'll go on tyrants or tyrants or rants and whatever. And we'll tell stories, but there's, there's, there's no timing to it. We just tell the story or Jeff three hours telling a story that I can teach you about buildup because I can stretch a story. But how hard was it?

Speaker: But how hard was it to lock in your timing? Timing isn't, I think it's kind of an almost an overrated term in comedy. You tell the punchline, let them laugh.

Speaker: And then actually, no, maybe I should have paid more attention to it. I tended to step on my own last, because for so many years I only got to do 10 minutes at a time or something like that. Yeah. So you're trying to get everything in. Slowing it down. Once they're like, all right, you're going to do 35 minutes. I was patient that night. What's really tough is doing a Sunday night show, because you're Friday and Saturday shows. You do two shows Friday, two shows Saturday at most clubs. You do three on Saturday.

Speaker: And they're all busy and they're the best shows of the week. And then you got that calm Sunday night with maybe a third or a fourth of the amount of people. And all of a sudden you don't have that 10 second laugh. It's a four second laugh. Right. All of a sudden, I mean, but even you got the timing of telling the punch line. I mean, it's like, you know, you got the, the, and then yeah.

Speaker: boom and then you tap them on the forehead with the biggest challenge what helps people is it takes it takes years at least for me

Speaker: with, you know, I don't do as many shows as a full -time comic, but you have to be able to tell that bit in autopilot so that you can think about eye contact, pacing, and gestures, voice inflection, voice volume, and speed. And that's once you have a joke. You can take it to affect the playing with the mic of, you know, I knocked on the door.

Speaker: Yeah. You know, kind of thing. I experiment with different voice inflections on jokes and things. And when it's a very high energy crowd, it's really easy to bring that energy. When it's a low energy crowd, it's like, okay, time to just plow through this. But it's, you know, it's, it takes years, like, you know, they say it takes 10 ,000 hours to master anything.

Speaker: I'm nowhere near that, but I can tell I'm a lot closer than I was even five years ago. Yeah, exactly. Well, I mean, well, hey, Jay, how you doing, brother? Welcome back. Glad you came back. Jay said, and Branson, that's over up in your area, isn't it? It's on the other side of the state, but it's the same state. I'm in Missouri. He's in Missouri.

Speaker: Much like I'm in Ohio and other folks from Southern Ohio are from Ohio. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, you said excellent. The distance between those two sometimes can be a street. Yeah. Yeah. I have. Yeah. My next door neighbor says Ohio and I say Ohio from time to time. As I said before, my new next door neighbor, if

Speaker: methyl is a person to be my new neighbor. She's nice, don't get me wrong. She's very nice, but - One of the things that Chris and I constantly argue about, but it's not really an argument, it's just Chris mentions that I say it wrong, is I say soda. And what do you call Chris? I'm gonna punch you in the head. It's fucking pop. Rob, what do you say? I used to say pop, I converted to soda. I've been in Missouri 16 years.

Speaker: You converted. I lived in South Carolina. I lived in South Carolina for 10 years. In Mexico it's just called Coke.

Speaker: I lived in South Carolina for 10 years and I would yell at, I would get him, not really fights, but I would torment the cash registers or the cash registers, the cashiers at gas stations and grocery stores because of like, oh shit, I forgot my pop. And they're like, it's soda. I'm like, oh no, it's a pop. You're wrong. News flash. You lost. You're like, it's soda.

Speaker: it's soda no you lost the war it's pop yeah well well you lost the war come down the crazy thing is the crazy thing is Robin you can contest to this is

Speaker: the taste difference between the united states and mexico when it comes to coca -cola yeah is oh that's because you guys still use real cocaine you guys still use real sugar it's real sugar and in the states it's real cocaine it is definitely i even like the diet pop down in mexico

Speaker: I feel like now I feel like you're poking the bear. The only place in Cancun that I found to get American style soda pop or whatever is Carl's Jr. Thank you for that. Jason. Yeah, Jason. I wouldn't I wouldn't or couldn't be a stand up for anything in the world. You have to have a thick skin and a glutton for punishment.

Speaker: Yeah. Every comedian probably has their reason for why, you know, some usually dysfunctional child thing or something that, why they're still in it. I, you know, I think being a middle child, I was kind of the, trying to make everybody happy balancing acts, maybe. I don't know. Yeah. I totally get that. Yeah. Well, I mean, even doing this, the one thing we

Speaker: We constantly beat up on each other on the podcast, but we know the one thing we have is the thickest skin. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and that's the other thing. I mean, Jeff and I will take shots at each other.

Speaker: all night long when we do the podcast. We'll take our little shots. And sometimes people hear, sometimes people catch on to it. Other times they don't, it don't matter. Jeff, when I take my shot at Jeff, he hears it when he takes his shot at me. But at the end of the night, you know, and I told him that the other day.

Speaker: I'll message him after the show. Hey, love you, brother. Good show tonight. Yeah. Or whatever. Yeah. But we don't ever take it personal. Yeah, we shit on each other. It opened, Mike. It's just.

Speaker: You know, you get off stage, hey, nice lecture. But I've never, I've never, and I'll drop like some people tonight, but I've talked to, I've talked to some comedians and stuff like that. And I've hung out with some, excuse me, after shows or before shows or whatever.

Speaker: yeah and even just listening to some of these big famous ones but they got some fucking dark history some dark past man for real yeah the fact that they it's going to be the full circle of it i well i'm going to name drop the shit out of you when you become famous because we were really an episode

Speaker: If you become famous, an episode of Nonsense Glances will not go by without us name dropping you. Because I make it very clear.

Speaker: I make it very clear that, A, Blacktop Mojo, whether they notice or not, is a friend of the show. But Rock Lee from EDM Combat is my brother from another mother of a different color. But when that kid blows up. And he's way famous here on us. Yeah, we need to have a new rule on this podcast that we have to have people on here that are less successful.

Speaker: We've had, we've had two guests in here. And then Rock Lee with his 50 million followers on TikTok and some shit. Yeah. You got, you got Rob wiping his ass. What's that, Rob? Anthony's running material on us here.

Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. I just seen that. I just, I've written an entire joke routine about how some of my pet peeves I've talked about, I talk about the saying, have a good one is the most incomplete sentence ever. And how I hate it.

Speaker: Well, words are hard, and I know I just butchered that, but... Have a good one. It's got some potential hand at the ice cream. I would hope that you used your hands, someone dipping with their feet. I would say with that, Anthony, is don't even mention the feet. Like, what other body part are you dipping in there? And then kind of let the crowd use their imagination. Well, Rob, you know Jeff, I know Jeff. Lord knows what he's dipping in there. Yeah.

Speaker: This thing doesn't work. But yeah, I mean, Rock Lee from EDM Combat, he came on the show and him and I have known each other for a few years and he's doing big things, but then this motherfucker's like,

Speaker: Yeah. You know, I'm doing, uh, music for Netflix and this, like Jesus Christ. I just did some stuff for Netflix and he like threw it out there. Like it was nothing. And he was like, I use a hundred dollar bills. Whatever. I'm the richest teacher in the world.

Speaker: I actually I had a guy I tried to start a little side hustle with comics every about two or three times a year I'll get a comic be like hey can you look at a video of mine and give me some feedback and after a while I was like shit I should make money off this so I started charging like 25 bucks for seven minutes you know like a seven minute set so a guy a kid actually did he sent me um

Speaker: His first five his first time on stage. I'm like, dude, this isn't a good one to do But he's like write a blog about it. I was like, all right Commercial I'm gonna I need to make one of those videos within a video which Jeff I don't know if you know the best software to do that on Kind master kind master I'll send you a link. Okay. Yeah, that would probably you can actually use it on your phone. I

Speaker: Yeah, perfect. Because yeah, where I could just stop and talk about what he's doing wrong. Actually, if you watch the couple of episodes that we do on here, all our intros for different segments. Yeah, I've built all those in a matter of a few minutes. Jeff, Jeff did the pops top 10. He did the while I had a news intro and Jeffrey vamp.

Speaker: I'm still waiting on dad the Trump liners for me Like do voiceover It's actually really easy to use and it takes like five minutes. Yeah, I'll check that up then

Speaker: Yeah, use it with, you know, a mixture of teaching and comedy. I was like, might as well, that's kind of my retirement plan on top of trying to publish public is to, you know, teach, teach comedy and things, which I probably could have done if I knew

Speaker: But yeah, no, that's good. Anthony looks like he's writing a set there. Anthony might have suggested, don't wear shorts on stage. Available. There you go. If you all the previously unwritten rules about stand -up comedy. Why can't you wear shorts on stage? Looks unprofessional. Read the book. Did you hear it? The media. Spoiler alert. What is it? What's professional about being a comedian?

Speaker: I hope you were like, well, what about what isn't it? Uh, who's the guy, the fat Hawaiian guy that does it.

Speaker: Fluffy Gabriel Iglesias Those are mostly shorts Actually, he's actually Mexican say is that he makes good I was gonna say but Chrysler does this stand up without a shirt on That do or as Jeff says or as Jeff says first, but I sure I always throw an in it

Speaker: Let's just say his first few years he probably wore his shirt, but yeah people If you go back to watch Larry the cable guy before he was Larry the cable guy

Speaker: well yeah he he looked like he was like wearing a damn suit and he he literally told the exact same jokes got the exact same laughs but now he's he's doing the same jokes he was doing back then if with if i may fellow his name is dan whitney and yes we've worked together several times and dan oh i'm sorry actually

Speaker: He doesn't have an accent at all. I told my dad that. It was like I told my dad there was no Santa Claus. He was so upset. Yeah, I think he's right. Yeah, I was just saying, but yeah, much, much. He's he created a character. Yeah, he created a character and he became famous. Actually, I did know that. But I don't want to step on your toes or anything. I'm sure you've had him in your car and drive soda.

Speaker: You guys probably shared a soda. No, but yeah, you just get that little shit. Like Tim Allen wasn't famous and he was doing a corporate party up at, it was Hilarities in Cuyahoga Falls before it was the funny stuff. And there was like everybody, this corporate party had steaks. And so he just kind of made fun of like, that caveman noise that he made. Right? Yeah. Known for the hell out of for an entire decade.

Speaker: Yeah. That's how he got his sitcom and that was his thing. Well, I'm actually reading his book right now. I've been reading it for like two years, but whatever. By reading, you mean you're listening to the audio? No, I actually have the book. It's called Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked Man. It's actually really funny, but I read it a little bit of it.

Speaker: Set it down and then six months goes by and I'll read a little bit. I feel like I feel like I've heard that book title before. Don't wear shorts when you're on stage. I might have said it to you. I caught it. I caught it after I said that. I tell them I usually have a look at it too. You see the look I just got.

Speaker: I'm looking at these problems like I'm going to be a teacher in this video. I'm just going to give you the fucking look. Sorry, that's what I get a little overdone. If you're going to do toilet humor, it's got to be a fresh take on toilet humor, I guess. Yeah. Well, write a book.

Speaker: The the one thing that uh, Kevin Smith actually talked about toilet humor He says his his grandmother told him early on he is one thing that pays the bills is dick and fart jokes every time Yeah But they got to be the one of my bills they can fart jokes. Yeah Chris and I take it way too far where you can't even see the beginning of where we started The reason the reason I don't do a lot of like

Speaker: Like I started doing comedy again to try to impress girls cause I was lonely. So I think I didn't want to gross them out. She said, he's like, I did girls.

Speaker: Rob said, Rob said, I started doing comedy because I was lonely and I went in to meet girls. I started doing streaming because I was lonely and I just wanted to have adult interaction. I wanted to do the podcast so I can actually talk with adults. I'm literally a stay at home dad that's stuck with a 10 year old and a six year old all day.

Speaker: of the

Speaker: where you were like, this is the benefits of good seating chart. And then one of your students waves. Here's a true story that I actually turned into a bit. One of my bigger laughs is in my classroom, I made a box and I had a student decorate put a face on it and they named it Boxy. And if your phone is out, whether you're using it or not, Boxy sees it and Boxy eats your phone till the end of the hour.

Speaker: And you have to walk a shame, put your phone in the box. And I have my kids guess how many phones will boxy take by the end of the semester, just half the year at a time. Because we switch some of them switch rooms for different. Right. And so the record is the record is 61 phones in one semester spring of 2008. Is I give I have them guess at the beginning of the semester, how many phones will boxy take?

Speaker: So what happens though, is they start telling on each other. Like if they get 60 and we're only at 35 with a month left, they start telling on each other, go box your phone. And so I'm bragging about this on Facebook. Big group of teachers. I was like, yeah, I taught my kids how to rat each other out, except auto correct change rat to eat.

Speaker: And the closest one gets a gift card, which I usually forget to give. Have a good break, kids.

Speaker: Sometimes the jokes write themselves, Rob. True story, yeah. And so that punch line has two tag lines. One of them is, one of the comments was my wife saying, Rob, stick to what you know. That's when I do more comments. But again, sexual comment is not like a blatant disgusting. And then the other comment I said is a lot of people leave comments are saying, Durham, I didn't even know you coached softball.

Speaker: Oh. Ouch. Yeah. That one I do. And if I'm in like a small, you know, homophobic town where a little more rural area, I don't like doing that one because I, you know, I don't want to alienate anyone in the crowd. So I usually just stick with the one with my wife. But if I'm feeling, if I'm feeling, you know, edgy, you know, I'll throw that one there. If I'm just trying to get laughs no matter what, if I'm just mad at the crowd, I'll say that.

Speaker: But yeah, that was one of those true stories that actually actually happened. And I said that bit one night in this teacher and she's like, I saw that true story. That is that is sometimes the jokes just right themselves. I took I took one phone today. I took four at a time the other day. But yeah, it's they're still on their phones. It's it's annoying.

Speaker: Well, I saw one teacher what they did, you know, them shoe holders that you hang on the back of your door. Oh, really? And kids have decoy phones. They'll take their old iPhone four and put that in there. That's was somebody steals their phone on the way out. You're liable. Yeah. It's just at this point, I'm like, you know what? If you don't want to listen and risk your grade, that's on you.

Speaker: We don't, we don't offer extra credit. You know, like we're not allowed. Mr. Durham, I know I have my phone out in class, but I'm just saying.

Speaker: Maybe I could do something to bring my grip. I know. All of a sudden, like, you can tell what I did. Progress reports came out last week, because now I'm getting all these emails. What can I do to bring the grade up? I was like, well, I warned you back in August if you didn't turn stuff in. This is how it's going to be. They're pulling them back in the middle of the school. From the kids or the parents? Or the parents. This is another bit I do.

Speaker: I'm getting parents emailing me from their student's address.

Speaker: pretending to. Oh, well, well, no, I've actually been that parent that not not from the not from the students for my personally, hey, look, I'm sorry, my kid's a fucking dummy. What can we do to get her grade? Okay, she might be mildly retarded. I don't know. I get them forged from the parent and I'm like, wow, you've come a long way since your last email. Yo, what my grade? I don't know.

Speaker: Yo, yo, teach what my grade is. Apparently my class is working because your, your, your, your spelling is improved. Yeah. Well, well, much like, uh, currently I work in, I work at best control. And, uh, the other day I was at, uh, at a customer's house. He turned out to be one of my oldest daughter. It was one of her teachers. Now, mind you, the principal of her school, the principal of her school, I graduated with, um,

Speaker: And he doesn't like me because I broke his nose. Well, not that he doesn't like me, he's just afraid of me. So she gets away with more than she probably should. But I was at one of her teacher's houses the other day, and he was like, his name sounds familiar. And I was like, oh, my family's from here, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker: And, uh, I was like, my daughter's a sophomore and he's like, Oh yeah. So -and -so. And I was like, yeah, yeah, that's my daughter. And he, I was like, how's she doing it? And he's like, well, I don't like, no, seriously, how's she doing? She's like, he's like, Oh no, she's doing really good. I was like, okay, well, if she's not, let me know. Don't bullshit me because I'm here for a reason. Yeah. I'm here for a reason. And if you don't, if you don't.

Speaker: I'm always level with the parents and tell them my, you know, your kid just doesn't care. Your kid's an idiot. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not sure that the teacher tells me, hey, your kid's a fucking dummy. Oh, shit. My kid's teacher go, tell me something I don't know. Yeah. Speaking of that, fellas, I have I need to get going. I have conferences tomorrow and then a pickleball dinner, which is for another time. But I got it.

Speaker: If you don't tell me right, if you're not straight with me, then the reason that I'm here for probably going to come.

Speaker: Well, we're gonna have to bring that up. We're gonna have to rob on here again for the pickleball dinner. It's at the Pickleball Country Club. Oh, fancy. Oh, yes. We all like our asses. Robin is rich stuff. But it has been fun. Robin all his rich friends. Thank you for having me on here again. Thanks for plugging my stuff. Yeah, definitely.

Speaker: Yeah, I appreciate you. We appreciate you coming on here. You definitely stayed a lot longer than I thought you would, which is fine because much like the last guest we had on. Yeah, we only played on Rocky being on here for about a half hour, maybe 45 minutes, and he wound up staying up for the whole show.

Speaker: We actually encourage that if you guys are having fun and hanging out with us and everything like that. Rob, go ahead and throw out all your social media and where we can find all the stuff. Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram is at Rob Durham Comedy. Thank you, Anthony. Facebook just Rob Durham. I've got like a author comedian page and then just my regular page. And then Amazon, you can find

Speaker: Don't wear shorts on stage. Don't do shots with strangers around the block. The other books. Go ahead. Go ahead, dude. Dreaming the chase and chasing back. This is a two -part series. I don't recommend them. And then. Two and a half shades of blue. Coming this spring, hopefully coming early this spring, somebody else's sky, which will be my best book. There you go. There you go. I've been working on this for a period.

Speaker: Like I said, you know, we are kind of scattered out, Jefferson, Mexico, you're in St. Louis, I'm in Ohio. But believe it or not, we do have listeners and a little pat on our own backs. We do have listeners in eight different countries. So, you know, if you got any upcoming gigs or anything like that that you want to throw out there, you know, somebody in the area might hear about it. I'll be in O 'Fallon, Illinois on

Speaker: either Friday or Saturday. My schedule's on robderhamcomedy .com. I think I've updated it. There you go. Go to his website and you'll find his schedule. I'm up near Troy, Missouri, Friday nights, I believe, so. There you go. There you go. Rob's doing big things when Rob's. One more name dropped. Michael Ian Black. I'm trying to get the week with him at the St. Charles Funny Bowl when that opens in early November, so.

Speaker: Oh, nice. Well, just follow me. Hopefully you get better. Yeah. Yeah. Just go give him a follow. Go give him a thumbing. He went to high school with Jeff. He likes to double thumbing. I haven't been to North Carolina since she's 2008. I want to say sorry.

Speaker: I'll try. Well, it's only a matter of time before Rob's going all over the country and he's super famous. Thanks to nonsense. I'm waiting on the Netflix special. He'll be on Netflix and they'll say this one time I might have dipped into way too much. I had way too much tequila and may or may not have smoked some crack and did nonsensical nonsense.

Speaker: Alright. We appreciate you coming on, Rob. Thanks a lot, guys. I'll see you. Take care. You're welcome down here anytime, brother. Have a good one, man. Bye -bye. Have fun. That was... That was Rob Durham, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah, Rob Durham, guys. Go give him a follow. Go give him a like. Go check him out. Really cool dude that...

Speaker: That was actually a lot of fun. I didn't know what to expect from it. I was slightly concerned because as I stated, Rob is a very conservative guy.

Speaker: And we are. Well, yeah, well, much, much, much like Rob. Yeah. Much like Rob said, you know, uh, no, like Jeff said, thank you. Thank you, Rob. Thanks for coming on the show. Uh, thanks for hanging out with us. You were definitely on here a lot longer than, than either of us, uh, expected. Uh, Jeff, good job. Good job on the, uh, on the grab on the guests, you know, gold star for you. My next, my next, uh,

Speaker: I'm going to get Matt on here from Black Top Mojo, I promise. I don't know how, but I'll do it. Well, you're working on it. We're both working on that. You sit there. You sit there. You shut up. You be on the show. No. No, but that was good. I enjoyed having Rob on here. He seems like a legit good dude. I thought it was a nice little change from the filth that normally comes out of our mouths.

Speaker: Well, much like Rob said, as a comedian, you have to learn to adapt and build a room. And I think that you and I both did a good job of doing that same thing. Yeah, and we behaved, which I was kind of shocked at. Yeah, we behaved a little bit. I dropped a couple of web calls. Yeah, I did too.

Speaker: But I was trying to get Rob to drop a couple, but he just wouldn't do it. As I stated, he's a very conservative guy, real nice sweetheart of a guy.

Speaker: but I couldn't get him to cuss to save my life. No, absolutely. He comes across as a very nice guy, a really good dude. I wish nothing for the best of me. Much like I said for Rocky, and I've said a million times for Blacktop Mojo. If we can help anybody, we can stay lowly little nobodies.

Speaker: I get, um, a little bit of enjoyment of podcasts, you know, you're nobody until you don't know what that means. Well, you know, they say it on the Simpsons. So if we are the, the Simpsons of podcasts, you're nobody until you've been on nonsense.

Speaker: Do you like that? That'd be cool. It's a little nod to us that we, you know, like I said, we've only had two guests so far and they've actually turned out to be awesome. I didn't know what to expect either on either guests, but it's been fun. You know, it's been really good.

Speaker: It's a cool thing. I don't know how you feel about it. But it's a cool thing for me, when, you know, we only expect somebody to come on here for a half hour, and then two hours go by. Yeah, two hours go by. Yeah. You know, I was, I was, I was

Speaker: I won't lie, I was a bit fearful that Rob was like, all right, I'm late for anything a lot earlier. Because we do tend to rant about other shit. And we were very good about saying on point. I found that very impressive of us. We did go off a few times, but Rob was right there with us. So it was great.

Speaker: Yeah. He was right there with us. What? Yeah. Much like Rocky was. And, you know, it's cool that we create that environment where, where people, you know, again, I, you know, I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna kind of stroke myself off. Joe, if you can stroke yourself off, I'm not going to stroke you off, but, uh, you know, it's cool that we can, why do you have a vape? Well, my, I don't know if I told you, my wife, uh, uh, one of her clients.

Speaker: he's from Germany and He he asked her like six months ago to buy her some tequila buy him some tequila Some really expensive tequila like cost more in my first two cars For him and ship it to him. Well, the problem was in order to ship Alcohol through FedEx or something like that. You have to have a license We didn't know this at the time so this tequila has been sitting on our

Speaker: for six months and he came into town, he contacted my wife and he's like, hey, uh, can I pick up my tequila? She's like, yeah, sure. No problem. And he owns a vape shop in Germany and he sent us these vape. He gave us these vapes and I was like, sweet. And it says it's good for like 300 puffs, but I got four. You definitely did not get four puffs out of that.

Speaker: I literally just opened it on the podcast and nothing. I don't know what the green light blinking is. I don't like it. Is it returnable? No. No, they're there. It happens every once in a while. They're the throwaways. So yeah. But no, but what I was going to say before you went on that whole bait tangent. Yeah.

Speaker: Is that it's cool that we can, you know, we've only had a couple of guests on here, but, you know, we, they feel comfortable enough to just kind of hang out and stay and bullshit around with us. So, yeah, that's kind of a, kind of a little nod, a little tip. So anybody, anybody that wants to be a guest, if you're a, if you want to promote something or, or, or be a guest.

Speaker: emails at nonsensical nonsense podcast and gmail .com because I kind of like having guests. It's kind of fun. Uh, yeah. Guests are guests are cool. I mean, well, I mean, why are you emailing us? Go ahead and check out the, uh, uh, social media and nonsensical nonsense, uh, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, uh, Tik TOK Twitch, YouTube everywhere.

Speaker: So yeah. And if you want to get every episode, you can find every episode on Spotify, anchor, uh, Google play, Apple podcast, basically anywhere you get your podcast. Actually, you can get nonsensical nonsense. So all you gotta do is just, just, just search it, just, just search it. Just search. Don't follow. Give me nonsensical nonsense. Or say, Hey Siri, you dirty whore. But, um,

Speaker: No, I mean, it was cool having them on. And I told Pops, Friday night, we went out for my birthday. And Pops was there, and Joe was there, and my baby sister was there, and my nieces were there. And Summer surprised me. My best friend, Kevin. No, no, no, no, no, no, my baby sister, the youngest one. My best friend, Kevin, and his wife were there, which

Speaker: That was the biggest surprise of all. I was talking to my sister and my nieces or something. And Summer was like, hey. And she pointed behind me and Kevin and TJ. Now, mind you, Kevin and TJ literally live around the corner from me. But they showed up. And I was just like, oh my god. And so that was really cool. But actually, I was talking to Kevin.

Speaker: You know more speaking of as we asked Rob about taking that that that first step. I was talking to Kevin about doing the doing the sports podcast, not necessarily with me to start. I would be on the sports podcast, but I have another guy in mind where it would be him and Kevin.

Speaker: to create that umbrella. Cause I, like I told, I've told you and I've, I've said it in the past, my ultimate goal with this is to create a network podcast, not since school, not whatever the hell it is, the nonsensical network, whatever the hell it turns out to be. Yeah. Um, I was actually talking to a Brad Bowden last night about, uh,

Speaker: KT Cams Garage. I think we're shooting for December because like I said, I'm going to do like a different guest each week. And that way it's not like the hardest part about explaining somebody, hey, I want you to be able to do a podcast with me is you have to throw in the side note of you need to make sure you show up every fucking week.

Speaker: You know, yeah, well, that's actually actually speaking of that I was kind of thinking and I'm gonna kind of I'm gonna Kind of just throw the setting Sunday morning Maybe going over because Kevin does we do we do garage football? right at Kevin's house and I'm actually thinking about going over there a little bit early and

Speaker: Sunday and taking the laptop and taking the microphone and yeah and just put him on the spot and see how it goes like a test yeah and see how he likes it but yeah you know I you know I'd like to I'd like to like to

Speaker: get it, get it rocking and rolling and everything like that. But, you know, like Rob said, when you're in the early twenties and stuff, you got all these dreams and aspirations and stuff like that. But then you, you find reasons and excuses to put it off. Right. And now I've reached an age, much like you've reached an age where it's like, it's, it's at the end of the day, it's now or never. At the end of the day, it's now or, yeah, it's now or never. So.

Speaker: you know, which is where we're at, which which is kind of where we're at with with with this. This is this is the this is I I feel like this is the start of something big. Well, yeah, I mean, as much as my wife shits on podcast days, you know, she hates podcast day because it's it's late at night. She likes being a rubberback or whatever and stuff. And she usually falls asleep during the podcast. And I was like,

Speaker: Uh, you know, I, I mentioned, I'm, I want to start the second one and she's like, what are you fucking nuts? But the one thing she says is if you're going to do it, do it right. Because I was literally ready to start like two weeks ago and I'm glad I didn't because I would have literally had like one guest four times in a row already. So, um,

Speaker: I'm laying the footwork that needs done down to, like I said, I wanna start at either late December or early January. Yeah, yeah. But I definitely, I don't know, there's something about doing podcasts that's just, as Rob said, as we were saying when Rob was on here, it's like, it's the ultimate high.

Speaker: and nothing I've ever done has got me as excited as in I want to do this all the time. And as we've stated, doing this podcast all the time, like five, six, seven days a week would be monotonously boring. Where twice a week or even three times a week

Speaker: We're able to keep it fresh and bring in new stuff and pick up new guests, but still have that time off to refresh for the next show. Where, because 90 % of the time it's just you and me. Where, yeah, Joe Rogan, he does his podcast every single day, but he's always got somebody different.

Speaker: And that takes a lot of prep. Yeah, but he's also hugely popular. I mean, well, yeah, he's got a team behind him to do that shit. I mean, at the end of the day, if we could bring guests out here every Wednesday, Saturday night and still do our normal stuff and have them hang out with us and whatnot, that'd be so cool because that's as much as I don't like Joe Rogan.

Speaker: But that's what he does. He still does his normal routine. Yeah. I realize you're not a huge fan, but he's tapped into a market, or not necessarily a market, but a routine that works for him, where the way we do

Speaker: the podcast and having guests on once in a while, I love the way it's working. Booking new guests is going to get harder, I think, because I ran out of people that I know. I mean, there's other people that I would have on, but

Speaker: Most of the people that I would have on are car people. And I know your eyes would glaze over just like if you brought on some of the, you guys just talked about sports all the time. So it's like, yeah. Well, and that's the thing. Like I, I have, I know a lot of people, uh, that do comedy, um, uh, music, this side and the other thing. So, you know, I've got a lot of, I've got a lot of connects.

Speaker: Yeah. Oh my goodness. So yeah, I could definitely. But well, you know, we'll, we'll venture down that road. Yeah. I mean, the nice thing about having, having guests is, is it it's, it's a nice change up from the normal routine.

Speaker: You know, it's, it's a little, uh, Oh, this is kind of like a curve ball. So to say, yeah, that's all that's all that's like that tonight went way better than I thought it was going to go. Uh, not that I thought Rob would be too stuck up or something, but, um, our brand of comedy and his brand of comedy are opposite ends of the spectrum. But, you know, Rob held his own. I'm very proud of what he did.

Speaker: And, and, you know, like I said, uh, I was seriously impressed. Yeah. It was, it was, it was cool. Like I said, you know, we, we, you know, you gotta, you gotta adapt, you gotta adapt to the guests and, and, uh, Rob was fun. You know, I'd like to have him come on here again and hang out with us, uh, uh, you know, down the road. Yeah.

Speaker: I feel like I don't mean you know it better than I do but I you know I feel like he had fun hanging out with us so The one thing I I think we need to work on is Like reflection on Rob or Rockley But if somebody we have on is like we're ready we're like kind of done with them We need to we need to figure out a way to give them an exit

Speaker: You know what I mean? Or else we're just keeping people hostage. We're just like, well, we'll let you go. Yeah. Well, no, trust me. Like, um, actually we can talk about that off the podcast. Not really podcast material. No, but I mean, like, uh,

Speaker: I'm sure there's going to be a couple of people we have on that we're like, okay, we're going to give them 30 minutes and then they're out of here kind of thing. Oh, absolutely. Where somebody, somebody comes on like Rob or Rockly. I loved having Rob on as long as we did. I love having Rockly on as long as we did. Uh, the fact that you guys got me to sing on that episode still blows my mind. My wife's still shocked. That was awesome. That was awesome. And it's on ticket tacky.

Speaker: And it's on Instagram and it's on Twitter and it's on Facebook. No, I don't think you were. I don't think I will. Weird. Nope. You know who was drinking and you did not get to sing that night? Yeah, shut the fuck up.

Speaker: But with that being said, let's go ahead and shut her down for tonight. Yeah, we'll be back Saturday night. Thank you guys for listening. Thank you guys for hanging out chatters box. Thank you guys. You guys were awesome. You guys were getting involved. You had some questions for Rob. You're hanging out. I do apologize that.

Speaker: Not as much attention was paid to you guys as normal, but we were, I was trying to, when I could sneak in now, we're still trying to sneak in and get to you. Yeah, I was trying to, I was trying to get in there with you guys. You know, I love you guys, but yeah, definitely thank you guys for listening. Hopefully you enjoyed the show. Hopefully you enjoyed Rob being on here with us. You know, as Jeff and I have said, we definitely want to get more guests on.

Speaker: Go check out Rob on social media at Rob Durham Comedy. If you're in the St. Louis area or you're in the Missouri area, you can check him out at one of his shows.

Speaker: And as always, huge thanks. Shout out to BlacktopMojo. Thank you guys for allowing us to use your music for the intro and the outro. Thank you guys for the birthday shout out. Thank you, Jeff, for the birthday shout out as well. That was really cool. Because I got nothing for love for you, brother.

Speaker: And make sure you check out BlacktopMojo on social media at BlacktopMojo across the board. Go stream the shit out of their music. Go follow them. Go tell them we sent you. Nonsense. We'll nonsense sent you. They'll make them scratch their heads and go, who the fuck? And while you're doing all that on social media, make sure you check us out on social media at NonsenseicalNonsense.

Speaker: on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, Twitch, YouTube, and go get every episode of the podcast on Anchor, Spotify, Google Play, Apple Podcasts, go give us a thumb and go give us a like and go give Jeff a pound and tell your friends, tell your friends, you can email us at nonsense podcast at gmail .com.

Speaker: I was getting there. I know. Share it out. Tell your mama, tell your auntie, tell your auntie about it. Let everybody know. Also, I'm sorry, Rocky, but also go follow at EDM combat all across the board at social media. Go give him some love. You can tell him that nonsensical nonsense sent you and he'll know exactly who you are. He'll be the one person who's like, oh, I know those guys.

Speaker: I know those guys, but I don't like to tell people that I know those guys. Oh, I know them. But again, thanks for hanging out with us tonight. And thank you, Rob, for hanging out with us. It was awesome. Hopefully we can get you on the show again. Maybe we can get you on here one Saturday night when you got nothing going on and you don't have to rush off. Unfortunately, he is a very busy man.

Speaker: Like besides writing the books, you know, he teaches all day and then, uh, you know, stand up and all this shit. He, like he's, he was saying today, he, he did 13 hour job today and then came to the podcast. Yeah. Much like Rocky, Rob has an open invitation. He's welcome here anytime. Both of them are welcome here anytime. Uh, you know, like I do is let us know and we'll, we'll bring them on, we'll bring them on board.

Speaker: But with all that bullshit being said, all the nonsense out of the way out there. Jeff, awesome show tonight. Appreciate your brother. Love you. Love you. Well, I'll see you Saturday night, but I'm sure I'll talk to you tomorrow. I'll probably talk to you tonight at this point. But we will see you guys.

Speaker: Jeff's gonna message me, I'm gonna message him back, and then I'm gonna fall asleep. First of all, we don't text. Yeah, no, that was my PlayStation holding the controller motion. Yeah, we don't text. It's literally all audio. It's all a video, all audio chat, whatever. I'm gonna go through a scary movie on and pass the fuck out.

Speaker: Yeah. We are out of here. Love you, brother. I will see you, sir. Deuces. Hit him with it. There it is. Enjoy some blacktop mojo. Blacktop mojo coming up. Cameras go down. I've got to get figured out.

Speaker: Cast out by the devil I got fire in my bones Burning with the black heart And cursed to roam Life with the sunshine It's cold on my face Forbidden food on my tongue Sweet to the taste You can try and kill me Try and turn me down

Speaker: Should you pistol at me? Laugh at the sound And as I run through the valley Of the shadow of death I'll come out of the valley With that shadow that's left

Speaker: Raised by the lightning, baptized in the dirt Another one through the valley, of the shadow of death Come out of the valley, with our shadow's vast breath The wind's same day comes to call, there'll be no fear in my eyes Let the rainbow come for me

Speaker: Will there be trouble on the rise? Will there be trouble on the rise? Will there be trouble on the rise?