Transcript
Speaker: It's so fine to not be by her life with my feet But she's the rocker, she's the sucker, she's the real shoe star But she's the best woman I'll ever meet, oh yeah The best woman I'll ever meet But let's assume we get you so far in life And your personality is a chore Or you're screaming and you're crying And you're pitching and you're running I just can't take no more I just can't take no more
Speaker: Your looks tie me down on my knees But your crazy dress ain't worth it to me It wipes the smile straight off of my face Oh yeah, the time has come to get you up like days
Speaker: I guess all you're gonna need is a weapon again, all I know is that I would never leave you, that I couldn't leave without you, up until the wood you opened your mouth Until the wood you opened your mouth
Speaker: Dance! Dance!
Speaker: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Speaker: That's true. I'm good together. We're the modern day podcasting duo known as Sherlock and Watson. That would be.
Speaker: little miss uh I was dropped on my head as a baby and my parents proceeded to use me as a soccer ball and I read for the Pittsburgh Swealers. I mean the Schittsberg Swealer. I mean the Pittsburgh Swealer. And the other day. He the lead. I played. They're terrible. She's a little special. She's a little touched in the head. You don't have to forgive her. What do you say about me? No, you're a little touched in the head too.
Speaker: It's time for all the basic bitches to get their uggs and and leggings on. Get your uggs out. Get your oversized
Speaker: You know what that you know, okay, uh, I have a prediction when it comes to this pumpkin spice shit Flaming hot thing Flaming hot everything it's gonna be pumpkin spice everything. It's already It's already happening. Oh, I'm sure
Speaker: Mickey has pumpkin spice, everything. Every time she goes to the store, she comes home with something new, pumpkin spice. Keely sent me a picture of her breakfast this morning. It was like pumpkin spice muffins, pumpkin spice yogurt, pumpkin spice, coffee, pumpkin spice. Just, I'm like, you are so damn basic. No, I refuse. I'm stating it here. I refuse to ever try anything pumpkin spice. Well,
Speaker: it's
Speaker: It's a disgusting fucking beer, but all these one and want to be redneck, want to be country boys. Oh, you know, I have a mullet and pit vipers and I drink Bush latte because it's a good beer. No, it's a fucking cheap, disgusting, rock that beer. I will never deny that I did have a mullet. I've never worked at. But I don't care about pumpkin spice. It doesn't affect me. I think I've tried one either. But to me, all it tastes like there you go.
Speaker: All it tastes like to me is pumpkin pie with more spices on it. Can you get I want a loose latte pumpkin spice please. Give it time and I bet you the loose latte. Yeah. They've got they've got watermelon, apple, peach, regular apple. I don't mind apple. I feel like there's something I can rock some sour apples. I love sour apples.
Speaker: But again, if you have to have flavor, again, you have to have flavored beer to drink that disgusting rock gut. You fuckers don't like regular push light because it's disgusting. I don't think pumpkin spice is disgusting. It's just not my thing. I've tried it. Like I said, it tastes like pumpkin pie with extra spices on it. Anywho, what's going on, Chatter's box?
Speaker: Well, this is not sensible nonsense. If you're not already, go ahead and check us out on them socials, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. Hang out with us live.
Speaker: Uh, Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays, seven, seven, 15 ish. We get the show kicked off. You can get the chatters boxes, shoot the shit with us, make fun of us, do whatever you'd like. And if you can't join us live, you can listen to us everywhere and anywhere. Like Zincaster and Spotify and all that fun jazz, all that nonsensical nonsense back. As you know, the routine, give it a follow, give it a listen and can be so kind. Give it a share. I don't drink coffee at all. I don't like coffee. I'm not a coffee guy. However.
Speaker: I like my coffee like I love like my women. Hot black. It's just a little bit milky. It'll be like hot caramel and caramel as in caramel color. Let's be honest. I mean, you're coming to hang out one night and you're just down by my neck of the woods this past weekend. You better know which way you went. And I tell everyone doors fucking open.
Speaker: Come on in. Like three or four years, we've never met in real life. We only live like an hour and a half away from each other. Certain trends I get, you know,
Speaker: I just you know with the pumpkin spice thing like I said, it's not that big a deal to me You know, it's not like it's something disgusting. It's just not my first and foremost. It started out with the coffee I don't drink coffee. I don't drink lattes or capital. Yeah, you just had Starbucks for the first time in like like what three weeks outside of sweet tea, but I mean you can't really fuck up sweet tea unless you don't put sugar in it and
Speaker: And then you're just an asshole and you should be punched in the third if you drink English. Then you're just English. The only reason you should. However, when it comes to when it comes to a seasonal drink, I will look somebody's for Shamrock Shake. Let me tell you, it's just chocolate ice cream, bro. Fuck you. That stuff's off. It's mint. It's mint chocolate ice cream. One hundred percent. I agree. I agree.
Speaker: but there's something about it. It was like everybody freaking out about the grimace shake. It's literally just like a blackberry shake. It turned purple because they mixed up blackberries or they put purple food color in there. I agree. I agree. I agree. The ultimate combo Shamark shake and a McRib in a single sitting. Stop it. They're awesome.
Speaker: Yeah, I know. The only reason somebody shouldn't drink tea without sugar is if they have health problems. That's the only reason. There's no grammar reason to drink tea without sugar in it. I agree. Yeah, like I said, depending upon which way you guys went, you probably did. You probably might have even drove right through town or close to it. Right past the house. Probably. Meow. I think Glick lives somewhere around here. Yeah, like five miles ago. We blinked. We missed it.
Speaker: That's my hometown. You blink, you miss it. No, that was my hometown. Your hometown was a major metropolis compared to where I grew up at. Well, Belleville has two stoplights. One at the beginning of town, one at the end of town. They're exactly a quarter mile apart. Do you know how I know that? What's a traffic stoplight in a town?
Speaker: The main street is part of 13. We, we, we literally, we literally had a part -time stop sign and I said a part -time stop sign because sometimes it was there and sometimes it wasn't. Yeah, but it was usually our fault that the sign wasn't there. I never, I never, I never posted on, on, uh, uh, steps that day. I mean, sorry, you can't park there.
Speaker: Good. Oh my gosh. Let me let me have the picture. You have the picture. I can I can bring it up faster. Probably. So we were. Well, excuse me, we were coming home today. And we got off a freeway or the interstate or whatever you want to call it, the highway, whatever the case may be.
Speaker: Um, to, to, to, to, and, you know, typically, you know, that time of day and where we are, because we're kind of on the edge of town, traffic isn't too bad. Right. Was completely backed up. And I'm like, what the hell? And you can look down the road and you can see the big fire truck and a couple of cop cars and everything. And I'm like, oh, Jesus, somebody wrecked or whatever the case may be. Not sure what's going on. We'll figure it out.
Speaker: We get up there. Oh, I got it. Yeah. Do you got it? Yeah. Like I said, I'm quick. We get up there, but this fucking big ass, it's like a Ford, it's like a Ford Explorer or something like that. It's.
Speaker: Yeah, the the the accuracy of flipping this car upside down. Check this out. You see the light pole right there. Yeah, they missed it. There's a there's a that's barely enough space between the tree and the light pole to drive a car through there normally. Not to mention that, but there's also like those guy the wires that come down. And there's a guy that's on the other side of the pole, although.
Speaker: of everybody's firemen. Yeah. And you see the house. Yeah. I mean, maybe, maybe, maybe a foot clearance from the house homeboy. I don't know how I ended up like that, but I mean, to, to, to navigate
Speaker: You should be kicking field goals in the NFL if you could drive a car. Right? I mean, that's winning. That's winning at the end of the day. That's winning. I'm not. You can't park there. Huge fucking intersection, mind you. Right. It's a huge fucking intersection. Like when when when you're when you're coming from the freeway, you got a turning lane and a straight lane.
Speaker: Okay, so it's multiple lanes, not those two lanes. North and south, there's about five lanes of traffic. You're going both ways. East and west, you got four or five lanes going both ways. This is a big intersection. So how did you, what were you doing that you managed upside down? Okay, here's my question to you though. As you drove by, did you say
Speaker: Did I say anything? Not like scream out the window. Well, no, I'm 42 years old. Oh, no, dude, you that's missed opportunity. I'm sorry. Because I don't want to roll down my window and be like, yeah, I see you. I was taking pictures for the gram. It was not on the gram. It's a scam. Amen to that.
Speaker: No, sorry. I would live like, Hey, you can't park. Yeah. As I'm driving by, there's no skin marks on the road. I see that. There's no broken car parts on the road. Like literally, like, I don't know what an Optimus Prime just transform, pick the car up and slam it. It looks like, it looks like he hit one of those guy wires. Because if you look, if I'm pulled back up.
Speaker: the reason why I say that. Yeah, only one of the guide wires were down. So yeah, it looks like he hit the guide wire. You see right here because I can zoom in on picture on mine. Can't zoom in here. But yeah, it looks like the guide wires down by the pole. So he ran up the guide wire and rolled it over. I don't know. It was pretty smashed just to be like the
Speaker: And, and this is coming from a guy who, who rolled a car down a cliff. You know, I drove my car off a cliff in high school. So like, you did more damage just rolling it on. Yeah. Like you did more damage to your car, just rolling it on a stop than I did do my car. And it flipped three times and rolled four more times and landed on its hood. And can still drive. And yeah, we
Speaker: The broccoli landed on flipped us back over on the wheels and we actually drove it a good 200 feet until it got stuck because my bright idea was we're going to drive it out of here. Oh, I've done that. I played that game and my buddy was like, how are we going to pretend like nothing happened to the car? I'm like, we'll figure it out in the morning. I should have bought right out. Yeah. When I was in high school, uh, you know, we all do things for beer money, you know,
Speaker: What? I used to work at beer money. Oh, beer money. So, um, beer money idea. I was, I worked at a, at, uh, uh, car lot courtesy, Audemars. And of course, what do they do with all the old breaks? Well, they just throw them in a pot and eventually they just sell them off. Well, I asked the owner, I say, Hey, do you mind if I take those?
Speaker: He's like, yeah, get it, take it off the recycling place. I don't take the mill iron. Go ahead. My buddy and I loaded up my Honda Civic. I mean, loaded it up. To the point, we had so much weight in the trunk that the front tire, like it wasn't moving. The front tires were lifting. So we had to like maneuver stuff around. So we got brake pads on our feet and shit like that. Took it to the mill iron, but as we're coming around the corner, there's so much weight. That fucker just did 360. We got out of the car and we're like,
Speaker: Oh, we're okay. Got back in the car and kept going like nothing happened. Wet road, two punkin' idiots, just barreling way too fast. Because multiple trips would make way too much sense. Once again, it's beer money. Why waste more gas on beer money? Oh my god, gas was... Oh my god, gas was... Oh my god, gas was... Oh my god, gas was... Oh my god, gas was... Oh my god, gas was... Oh my god, gas was...
Speaker: He's a 45 minute drive one way. That's all right. This was like 70 % inspected. I get it. I got 99. Whatever. Let's be honest. I'm driving a four cylinder manual Honda Ford. Yeah. You couldn't kill that car. My brother blew the transmission on that car. Obviously, because he didn't realize I had modified the shit out of it. And he exploded the transmission on that car.
Speaker: I guarantee that car probably still rain. Yeah. Give me one second. What's in one second? What are you talking about? Oh my God. I'm still saying this opportunity. That would have been the perfect. You know, they got that audio. Hey, you can't park there.
Speaker: Well, I was, I was taking pictures and I was trying to get, um, I was trying to get, uh, video, but the traffic started moving a little bit because well, not only that, but there's that audio of like the boss quote. Can you not fuck up one time today? My other favorite one, and I'm, I'm trying to figure out a place to use it. It's like, it's like.
Speaker: when your boss tells you, can't you just grow up? What? You got nothing to say? Well, it's hard to speak. We got 35 coming bears in your mouth. Yeah. I did that when I was delivering for Napa. I was out in Delaware. Oh, that's a nice job. There was a semi that had a huge big wide sized load. It was a big fucking tank looking thing. It's on my TikTok somewhere. It's probably a couple of years back.
Speaker: Oh, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I had to do the dig. My, yeah, my ex fiance. Yeah, yeah. She was on the back of that truck. But I don't know what happened. He didn't have it strapped down, right? Or the chains broke or what? But the whole fucking load came off the truck. Oh, nice. Yeah. It was like that.
Speaker: Yeah, it was that it just like just literally just shifted because the back was still strapped. The front wasn't so it just shifted it in the whole truck. It was like. Audio. I don't think it's supposed to do that or something like that or something. I don't know what's wrong with it. Ain't got no gas. That's what she said. Somebody.
Speaker: Hey boys! Look what I got here! Hey, where are the white women at? I was talking to the white women that last night. I told you about the mechanics.
Speaker: I tell you about this mechanic that the one day, so on, on, on your car, you have a belt engine and it's sprung, sprung loaded, spring loaded. You know what I mean? So the belt tensioner on the Malibu went out one day, like it fucking cracked. Like it had a hole in it. You can put your fingers through it. Right. And so I pull up.
Speaker: You know, the wife and kids and I are in a car and I pull up to a guy. He sells auto parts, right? Yeah. And I'm like, I need a belt picture. And I didn't know what it was in Spanish, obviously, because who the fuck uses that word every day? And so he comes, I said, come here and I'll show you. So he comes out and he looks at it and he goes, Oh yeah, I got one. I got one in the back with it. And his buddy comes up and goes, well, there's a problem right there. And I swear to God, I almost died laughing.
Speaker: Because he literally looked at it, and you can see it's got a hole in it the size of my fist. Like you could literally, you know, two finger that fucker. And he's like, well, there's your problem. I was like, really? Really there, Gomer? Fingers, huh? Yeah. We'll tell you a long time. Don't worry. We'll figure it out.
Speaker: There we go. But I swear to God, this guy with a dead hand face. There's a problem. And I was, you know, it's 10 ,000 fucking degrees outside. The car is overheating because the belt's off and he's looking at me like, well, there's a problem. And I looked at him and I said in English, a little too loud, no shit.
Speaker: Hard quick to figure that out for me. I'm no mechanic, but I noticed that one. But I knew that belt tensioner was going bad because when I put the belt on, normally when you go to move a belt tensioner, you put a pry bar on it. You literally put my arm against the firewall and move it. Like it was dying.
Speaker: But I was also broke and took forward a new one at the time. So I was like, I'm waiting for those fucking brakes. Because it'll be all it'll be cheaper if we wait until it freaking breaks. Well, this is huge, dude. I got to currently have a house full here. The kids, of course, they're all here. My ex -wife and her fiance, they came over because they brought Cassius Fish Tank over.
Speaker: You want to, you know, when you go to the street fairs or the carnivals and you can throw them home, you win them little goldfish. Well, you want this little goldfish like four years ago. Typically they last, they live like two days. It's like four years old. And dude, I shit you not. It looks like a large mouth. Yeah. It looks like one of them big ass koi, you know, those goldfish that you put in the koi ponds just swimming around. I'm like.
Speaker: That was not your ordinary fair goldfish. Fuck her up and eat it. My, my, uh, my sister -in -law, my sister -in -law, same thing happened to her. She literally got, this thing was like maybe an inch and a half long. This thing, she had it for like six years and it was like that. I was like, Jesus, what are you feeding that other fish? Are you feeding them frogs too? Literally about the size of my hand.
Speaker: Oh, yeah, it's it's it's it's crazy that a little fair little street fair fish. First of all, they're not supposed to live more than 48 hours. No, no, no, no, no. That's just that's just because most people can't take care of it. However, a goldfish will continue to grow. It's like any fish environment.
Speaker: is big enough to hold it. So it's probably stop growing because it's got it. I bet you've got a bigger fucking bank. He's in a 10 gallon tank or something. 10, 20 gallons. You'll get your 50 gallon tank. You'll have a fucking car. And you know how to cook carp, right? You know how to cook carp. Carbs go well with Bushlight out here. No. What you do. Here's what you do. You take the carp and you put it on a pine board.
Speaker: Yeah, that's what I said I don't
Speaker: I like shark. I like tuna. I like I like to shrimps. I don't like tuna. I think, you know, I would I would love crab legs, but Jesus Christ, that's so much fucking working. Well, like they shouldn't bring you tools to build a house when they bring you your food. I agree. I agree. And a and a damn flat -headed screwdriver. So you can eat. What am I what am I doing remodeling the house? What am I supposed to do with this fork? Give me a real fork. Yeah. I'm not a little kid.
Speaker: Uh, my ex, uh, the ex that was at my graduation, uh, Jenny, her, her stepdad, that motherfucker, we went to an all you could eat buffet kind of thing. This motherfucker comes back with a plate of crab legs look like, I was like, Jesus Christ, dangerous fisherman. What the fuck? Like he had it piled up. He like, I was like, did you take it all? It was insane. He's like, I love fucking crab legs, but there's never enough in one. I'm like, I get it.
Speaker: You got legs, dude. Go multiple times. Don't look like a **** that. Yeah. Well, that's that's that's the probably right into. I mean, you you have to get a pile of crab legs because there's not a lot of meat or else you're going to eat wasted. I'll just go back and forth. Yeah. There's not a lot of meat in it. It is good. Don't get me wrong. Yeah. Crab legs are delicious. Don't get me wrong. It's soft shell crab. I mean, it cracked the top of his head open. Peel it back up. **** that. Go get yourself some crab puffs. Some what?
Speaker: Yeah Yeah, I can't do oysters either that's disgusting
Speaker: had a buddy down in Charleston. He's like, I'll deep fry them for you, man. They'll be fine. I was like, all right, I'll try them deep fried. And then I took a bite of it. It's still slimy inside. Like it's still slimy. Let's just walk up a lutee and spit it in my mouth. Agreed. I mean, that's that I don't like. I don't like bread that's soggy.
Speaker: Like if you make me a sandwich and tomato leaks into the fuck on out. Well, that's what you got. You got to eat. You can't let. Yeah, you can't. That's my biggest problem with Chick -fil -A. Everybody loves Chick -fil -A, but their buttons are soggy as shit because they like see them or something. And it's just like, yeah, you gave me. No, you got really good, really good fucking.
Speaker: hamburger buns is white. Yeah. Yeah. I had white capsules the other day, but Sunday I was sitting here at the house in between all the drafts and stuff. And I was like, I kind of want some white castles. So got him a little door dash. Jeff, ladies and gentlemen, who would have ordered
Speaker: 17 grave cases for himself. I just got four sliders and a large fry. And I was perfectly hungry. I'd be hungry. I wasn't really hungry. I just wanted white castles. You know what I mean? No. Yeah. Uh, have you seen Harold and tomorrow? They're white castle. That movie will make you want white castle more than anything else. And as we've talked on this show, ladies and gentlemen, if you don't have a white castle in your area, go to Walmart.
Speaker: go to Kroger's, go to whatever grocery store you have. And get your White Castle burgers because I promise you they taste the exact same as they do out of the restaurant. The only difference is there's no pickles. So get you some pickles and throw a pickle on there and it's, it'll taste the exact same as going to White Castles. I promise you, but they are driving all the way to white. Yes. Or wait, I don't drive anywhere. I have door dash. Amen to that. Hey,
Speaker: We literally door dashed. I don't know if you've seen that or not. Uh, Monday, we door dashed about 47 pounds of sushi. Yeah, I did see that. Nikki posted that. I was like, good God. Are you guys hungry? And then of course today, the problem when we order today, Nikki posts that picture of those stuff. Oh my God. I literally commented and I went, okay, Brian.
Speaker: You're making me hungry. Fucking quit. She's like, why are you crying? And I was like, what? I said, maybe he's maybe he went to respond to our group chat because Brian had posted some football stuff in there. And I was like, what are you what are you talking about? She was like, oh, my. And I hadn't seen her snap story yet. She's like, oh, my snap story because she made stuff, Philly cheese.
Speaker: Yeah. I was thinking somewhere with her. They were. Earlier, she had like a hard taco thing that she made. Yeah. So, so yesterday, yesterday, she made Crunch Crunch Wrap Supreme Castle. So, yeah. And I'm over here fucking eating sandwiches because everybody's nobody's here. And I'm going, oh, I'm going. Yeah. So, you take this off tortilla
Speaker: and then you put like the crunchy tortilla shells inside of it and you put all the burger, sour cream, cheese, tomato, all that stuff and then you put another layer of the crunchy and then you fold the sauce and then you bake it in the oven. It was, but instead tortillas, I used bacon. Yeah, but that defeats the crunch. No, but then you have bacon. Yeah, but I mean, you could just put bacon in it and still use the hard shells.
Speaker: I actually saw a So a while back I saw a Tiktok and they're like they both the bacon together, you know, like you know and and made it like it's like a bacon it's all like a bacon pocket or something like that we Used to do my mother -in -law comes over on weekends
Speaker: And during the week, anytime I'm on tech doc, I find something on food. I send it to my mother -in -law. She comes by on the weekend. She'll fucking cook it. Yeah. I used to do, I haven't done them in a while. I used to do bacon cheeseburger balls. Basically you cook up your fry of your bacon. You got to make it. I mean, there's no other, there's only one way to eat bacon and it's crispy. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Once you fry it up nice and crispy, then you break it up.
Speaker: you brown up your burger and you take your shredded cheese and you take a biscuit, you know, like you get a couple cans of biscuits and you kind of flatten it out. You put everything in there and then you roll up the ball, the biscuit around it, then you pop it in the oven. You got bacon cheeseburger balls and then you can top it and you can top it with chopped up pickles and tomatoes or whatever. And I mean, I used to do that quite a bit with the kids, but we haven't done it for a while. But, um,
Speaker: but Nikki's got like, it's like quick, easy dinners or she's got a recipe book. Yeah. You were talking about that recipe book and why she's cooking. You have to take her phone away from her because she can't send shit like that because I just see her and go, I'm coming up and go all the way to Ohio and go to Christmas. Those always fucking open doors open. You know where the beer is.
Speaker: Speaking of speaking of flights
Speaker: When we come back from, you know, I'm saying this on purpose. When we come back from break, I got two stories that involve, I know you guys are going to be going to France here soon. And, uh, you know, and, and, and, and, and another reason why I don't fly stories that involve airlines. That's, uh, I think I might know one of them. Yeah. I got, I got two stories. I was just like,
Speaker: How much is a private plane rental? And I want to wait until the second half. I know the conversation is going to be a bit long winded. I actually, I actually saw this story today and I literally looked up how much it costs to do because I, one of my clients, he owns a company called elite jazz.
Speaker: Like I was like, and he gave me the price and I was like, yeah, I gotta go. I can get some work done on the paper. This is like 40 grand. But he says, we'll take off anytime you want from wherever you want. Make sure you want to go. I'm like 40 grand. Right. Uh,
Speaker: I don't have a paid picture about it. Did you hear about the cat that got arrested in China at the airport? The what? Not the cat as in the guy. This guy is going through customs in China. And he was arrested. Can you tell me why?
Speaker: is hard to say he was arrested because he was trying to smuggle in 300 300 zebra freeness i don't even know how to get one zebra freeness let alone hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on let me process what you just said
Speaker: Yes. Uh, why are you doing that? I will. Did you say beaver? Zebra. Oh, zebra penises. Not that that makes it any better. How did he come across 300 zebra penises? That was my first thing that I thought of was I was like, okay. Hey, I don't know cost one zebra penis.
Speaker: let alone 300. That's an interesting life you live, my friend. The fact that you can come across and try to smuggle. So he was from Kenya. He was actually leaving Kenya. And let's see, 37 -year -old Ming Zhang Yee was arrested this morning.
Speaker: at Jomo, some Kenyan airport, in Nairobi while carrying two cases, two suitcases full of animal penises. He had, and this is the list, and when I say list, Chris, this is the list, 309 penises from a zebra, 46 from a baboon, 31 from buffalo,
Speaker: 27 from Giraffes, 14 Lion, and 21 from Pink Flamingos. I didn't know Pink Flamingo had a penis. Well, of course it had a penis. That's to reproduce some. No, I thought they had a coelica. Like a fucking duck. Don't think they had a penis. I'm sure they did, anyway. No, ducks had a penis.
Speaker: Where do you come across stuff? Like where do you get this stuff from? I knew this, this was, I, okay. So I actually heard this story. Somebody, okay. My algorithm on sick talk is obviously weird, but you know, this, this story has come up a bunch in the past couple of weeks and not just on. TikTok, but Facebook pages and stuff like that. Uh, and so it has to,
Speaker: Any accustomed services department arrested this guy? Now, apparently, penises in Chinese culture are aphrodisiac or make you strong like rhino, you know, kind of thing. But, uh, once again, I don't know where to get one zebra piece, let alone 309.
Speaker: I'm not gonna go chase down a flamingo to find out, A, if they have a penis, and B, chop that fucker off. A lion penis? Hey, God. That dude's got some balls on it. Directing is, I think, if you're an actor, it's kinda hard to easy to find, you know? But, Jesus. Uh, yeah.
Speaker: However, this story, I literally just found out, like I said, it's been making the rounds around TikTok and a couple of the pages. This story is from 2018. I literally just found that out.
Speaker: I mean, that... Here's the story I'm reading. I'm trying to save a picture. Ah! It's not a really good picture. That's kind of... That's special. That's a newfound way of... Wow. I'm curious.
Speaker: I wonder how much the zebra penis goes for. Honestly. I don't know what happened to Chris. I think it's internet shit. Oh, that's a gag joke.
Speaker: I'm just trying to look on like black market sales. I got something for when Chris comes back too.
Speaker: Like I said, I gotta find out what happened to Chris. I think the internet's gonna shit for us. Here's I. Let me check here. As I bring up Snapchat. There he is. Or not. Apparently he's having some issues.
Speaker: There you are. I'm excited to hear flailing. Crash and a burn. Yes, I did. Well, I did. Oh, yeah, I was going to say. My my internet just like 100 percent sent to bed to the point where the girls are all out there now that everybody's left and the fish are all sorted out and everything.
Speaker: I was I was saying I was I was saying while you're going. I said I'm wondering much You know one of those penises go for you know, I mean because As I said, it's it's one of those things obviously this guy's not doing it for his own Don't you Google the rates and see where you can buy them? I actually tried while you were gone. I was trying to actually Google the price I can only find like
Speaker: If you're not already on the list, you're about to be on the list. Oh, no, 100%. However, Chris, I got a trip for us. You and I are going to take a trip, sir. Oh, what? We're going to go to Iceland. You and I are going to go to Iceland. Because there's a museum there that you can imagine on the scene. It's a penis museum in Iceland. It's so kind and in the world.
Speaker: I'm kind of. I don't want to go. You got to see this. This is all I got. You know, I just got rid of one co -host on this show. I think it might be time to get rid of the other one. So the Phoenix Museum, the Phoenix Museum. We cannot unsee. I feel like I feel like I did this news article not too long ago.
Speaker: I mean, oh, these are like animal penises and everything. Yeah. Yeah. It's not like dudes. I mean, this is what is that? Which one? Well, Chris, it's a penis. Penis has eyes in a mouth. Which one? The one on the far left. Yeah, that one looks creepy. Yeah, it's got. Ancient Viagra.
Speaker: whale penises were eaten in behalf of giving strength and potency. It's still done today. Yeah, well, which is why... Great ad. Great ad placement, by the way. I know, right? You saw that? That is a huge dick, dude. Yeah, I see the mountains on the back. I mean, this is genius, dude. I mean,
Speaker: How do you not giggle the whole time you're there? How do you not get? Oh, no way. You can actually buy little souvenirs. There's a penis gun.
Speaker: You would totally rob a store with that, wouldn't you? Give me all your money. I'll see you on my feed. Just scroll back down. We found your coffee cup. There's a coffee cup. There's just coffee. That's a milk creamer. You're going to use it to drink everything out of. These are your own coins with penises on them.
Speaker: I mean, I'm totally **** it. That's hilarious. Let's go to the can we do a live show? Can we do a live show?
Speaker: As someone moving to Europe, I swear to God, I'm going to take like a weekend trip. I'm going to take my motorcycle and drive laptop in the backpack, drive to the penis museum in Iceland and be like, Hey, can I do a live show from here? I will learn fucking Swiss or whatever they speak in Iceland, just so I can be like, I really want to do my podcast from here.
Speaker: can you open up at like four o 'clock in the morning? Yeah. I'm just saying I just I just want to I want to go there. I want to do a lot. I want to do a live. I share my screen again. You gotta see this and and I want and I want tour guys for the museum to walk us through and
Speaker: I'm going to tell us about the the penises. I'm going to ship these to you. They're salt and pepper shakers. Salt and pecker shakers. Yeah, there we go. Nice. He's in there. And of course, the penis bug. Oh, look at his candles. There's penis postcards. These poor girls. The shots on the face.
Speaker: Oh my god. I'm just saying, tell me that wouldn't be an amazing fucking episode. Just to do it, you and me, you know, all we need is like a GoPro and they give us a tour of the penis museum. No, we do the live show with a laptop and everything and then they just bring specimens over. And then we're like, this is a huge dick. Much like this.
Speaker: But we have to do it under the one that's been found. As we look over, we're like, hey buddy, we have to duck underneath it. Okay, we're just gonna rub it.
Speaker: Yeah, we would get kicked out of Iceland. I guarantee you, I guarantee you there are pictures on the internet of chicks at that museum and probably dudes too just playing with those, those stuff dicks like, you know,
Speaker: I bet you there is. I bet you there is too. You know there is because you know, we're not the only two immature dudes on the planet. First and foremost. Oh, no. Yeah. I mean, where else do you think we get our ideas? It just. I'm there's gotta be. I just.
Speaker: I mean, I'm not finding anything funny yet. However, they got some serious longs here, dude. I don't have, I don't have to see anything. No, you do. I'm sorry.
Speaker: Look at my dude! He's just like, yep, that's what I did. That's a big right there. This right here is a big... Seriously, you on one side, me on the other side of this one. I mean, while we do the show, 100%. But I don't see anything where people are like, you know, goofing off. Maybe it's like, it's got to be an American thing, where they're like,
Speaker: I don't know what that that huge spike belongs to. Could you imagine being a No, scroll back up. It was mounted on the wall. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: talk about impaling. He's **** trying to make crazy vampire hunting. Yeah, I mean, that that's that's gonna hurt somebody.
Speaker: at least at least he's white and you know like the first like foot and a half is like small you know it's like you know like it's gonna happen diameter and then once you get past that first foot and a half it's like three and a half feet in diameter it's just like rah! but I I mean people are not taking advantage I mean look at this guy he's just like eh yeah there's a lot of pain this is right I would be I would well this guy's got the idea yeah
Speaker: How do you not silently just walk around the penis museum and take it seriously? I'm not. Yeah, that's the problem. I see nobody like I'm dangling the balls of penis. No, nobody. Everybody's taking it seriously. They're either like fascinated or creeped out. This dude is got to be your height. That is bigger than him. Check out Professor Penis up there, the Blanche.
Speaker: studying it extra hard she's like yeah i can take it all right i've had bigger a little bit of but nobody's i mean well these these kids here they're like it's a peanut but i mean nobody's pretending to be gargle wait i'm disappointed i'm honestly disappointed in people
Speaker: Society has let us down Jeffrey. Yeah, I I was really hoping for a ton of pictures of people like You know We would definitely want to go Well, I don't I want to go so we can kind of break the internet because we're apparently the only one that would be like We're getting
Speaker: I want to get a picture of you Ben Ever grabbing your ass cheeks and pulling over. One of the biggest ones. I'm just saying everybody's got a missed opportunity there. I mean, how do you not? How do you go to that museum and not? The one guy had the words like, oh, we're going to put your hair on, dude. You're better than that. Right?
Speaker: What's up, Tom? Timmy Boy. Good show tonight, Tim. I got, I got to catch the last, uh, Oh, about 20, 25 minutes of it. I had it on the background. I was doing stuff here at the house, but now, you know, again, everybody, all the pictures that you see, everybody is so serious. Like, come on, like really, come on. It's a freaking, I mean, I wonder if they have like a sign.
Speaker: Notion is, does that mean? We're going to change the policy. I would literally, I wonder what it would cost to rent out the joint for like an hour so I could take all the goofy pictures. You know, if they're like, be respectful, don't take pictures like that. I'm like, okay, how much for an hour where I can take all the pictures I want being goofy as I want. I'll pay it because it will be worth it.
Speaker: Nope. I'll find this fucking place and burn it down. We are serious in here. You can't be serious if you have a room full of penis. There's that. You have a penis museum. You can't be that serious. You know somebody on that board because, you know, usually a place like that has like a board of directors. Well, I'm on the board of what? A museum. Oh, really? Yeah.
Speaker: What's the name of the museum? I don't want to say that. I'm on the penis board. It's the Museum of Penises. Anybody says, I work at the Penis Museum. Wait a minute, what? Yeah, it's a job that you and I would be proud to have and tell everybody. I'm on the penis board. I don't wear t -shirts. I'm on the board of penises.
Speaker: Board of Penises here coming through. Here's my badge. Official board of penis member. Yeah. He was like the top of anger on the necklace. Yeah, he's police. That's right. Go into a fancy book restaurant. They're like, uh, sorry, we're busy and you don't have reservations. But I'm the penis police. What's up? Excuse me, sir. Come on in. We'll get our best table. That's right, motherfucker. You get a free pass from penis museum. All right.
Speaker: Well, fully inspect the penises every night. I'm in charge of measuring. Full inspection of the penis before the end of the end of shift every night. Measuring. You know, pictures that we saw, it's obviously they have they probably have somebody there making sure you don't take the pictures. Like I said, like I said, we could be
Speaker: Technically, we could. I mean, I would run up to everybody.
Speaker: just just just get one of the specimen jars. official payments business. Everybody stand back. Well, there is, you know, don't look you're in you're in investigation. I'm about to write you a citation. Oh my god. I mean, as we did learn, there is a
Speaker: I don't know. Can we apply for that job? I know. You know what? As soon as I get through **** icing, I'm going to ask you. Tim, come on. You can be the Rook. You can be the rookie. Yeah, we we we are rookie. Yeah, we'll show you the penises. I mean, the Rook. That was a sign, you know, and Paul Bart, he's like slap it, respect it.
Speaker: It's just a big, big old blue whale penis from it perspective. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. The oath you swear in, instead of a stack of Bibles, it's just a big old blue whale penis. I put my life on the line to protect these penis.
Speaker: I solemnly declare. No penis shall be harmed. Under my watch. I will take care of all penises. We all know, we all know that when you do a job, eventually it gets more. That's one of those jobs would never get more.
Speaker: We got penis days for jokes. Or for the penis joke for days. Words are hard. And apparently I'm sick. You got penis on the brain. You got penis days for jokes. At the end of the day, that would be the things we would say as people walk in. We got penis days for jokes. And they're like, what? You'll get it when you get inside. I mean, the idea of constantly fucking with people as they come in, hey, Jake, it's serious.
Speaker: No. Please don't bond to our penis, ma 'am. I'd appreciate it if you took your hand off my penis. That'd be great. Thanks. Oh, exactly. That job would never get boring. That is the perfect job for us.
Speaker: We got a fondler in the corner. I'm going to need backup. Yeah, yeah, we're going to need your help. We got this guy, he's really looking at his penis. He's like, what are you talking about? Stop looking at the penis, sir. Stop hiding the penis. Suspect is blonde female, roughly five foot two, 140, 55 pounds. She won't take her hands off my face.
Speaker: She really likes the Venus. Like to every person ever. All day. Like that would be the ultimate. Okay. You know how people do on TikTok and stuff? She wears a set of gas stations, doing that. Us recording each other, making fun of fucking people coming into the museum.
Speaker: You want to talk about going viral? And the one thing that would never get old is walking up to groups of people going, are you enjoying our penises? I hope you're enjoying your day at the Penis Museum. Come see us again. Just walk away. Don't forget to come and see us again. Meet you and our rookie Tim.
Speaker: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. Hey, they're still going to the bathroom together. The penises are in here. Not out there. You know how they got the guys that do sign turning? I want that job. Instead of spinning an arrow, you're spinning a jackpot. Who'd have to put you out? Allowing things out. Yeah. I know you like duck, lady. Come on over.
Speaker: Sorry, you look like a cock lover. Like at the circus, the collar. It's like, hey, I know you guys like the dick. Come on in. Come on in. It's over here. Penis is here. Right here. You fellas look like you enjoy a nice big cock from time to time. You're either going to get millions of people inside or get your ass kicked daily. Yeah.
Speaker: Either way, it's viral gold. Either way, yeah, either way. I'm telling you, I did, like, I did sales. I did sales of selling tours. If this was a tour I was selling, oh my God, I stole a million. Got to get those jerks off. Hey, jerk! Jerk! Jerk off! Come here! Put jerk off in here. There you go.
Speaker: That is the ultimate job for us. I wonder what they pay to be a penis cop. I wonder if they're hiring. I quit my job and moved to fucking Iceland, dude. Maybe we're moving to Iceland. Fucking A. Why? Don't worry about it. We're going to be rich. We're fucking a penis museum.
Speaker: That's what we should do. We should buy the beans. Can we move it to the States? Agree. Although, although then you got Karen's picketing outside. But that once again, ladies, you know you like to talk. Come on in. Then we can have a penis SWAT team that stands out in front.
Speaker: have a yogurt cannon on the roof and the shape of the dock. Like, you know, you have like a water cannon on the top of a fire truck, but it's shaped like a dock and shoots yogurt. I'm just, oh, I'm going to fucking shoot yogurt. I'm going to validate, boys. He got it set up with the team guns.
Speaker: We can get those t -shirt cannons shaped like penises and shoot t -shirts. There you go. This is the penis museum. I went to the penis museum and all I got was this crappy shirt. You sell cream pies at the door. I want to buy the store next to a peanut museum and make it a pie shop.
Speaker: I'm number one seller will be number one seller will be green pies. Yeah, just put a put a put a bakery right next door. Three visit visit the people. Yes. See, we are business geniuses.
Speaker: We are something. I don't know. We are marketing genius. I don't know that. The deck. Oh, speaking of a deck gun, instead of a deck gun, we would have to build a big deck on the front of the Venus museum. So we got people. Hey, get off the deck. I mean, come on in.
Speaker: I mean, the possibility is endless for people. The reason about moving into America is that we know that it would be constantly full of immature assholes like us. That's what we want, though, aren't we? Isn't it? We don't want a fucking echo analyst fucking crazy person going, oh, that's interesting. No, I want some asshole going. We have all the all the all the the punny shit around, you know, we're like a picture of
Speaker: you know like hit your picture taken whatever you know like you know they have the cutout of the person that you stick your head in but at the bottom is a shark penis you know yeah i mean it's also referred to as a no joke here yeah that's the problem the master stream
Speaker: Please please step into the conference room. We're going to have a couple of our penis experts master debate Master debaters Because we're not allowed to get physical because we're rent accounts, but we're master debaters will debate Hey
Speaker: Chief master debater here. He's got her. He's our rookie master debater. We we might have stumbled upon pure gold. Copyright 2023. Lieutenant master debater Wednesday, September 26th at 817. It has been patent and copyright and if somebody else steals our idea, just know that we will cut your heads off.
Speaker: and put you in a museum, cut off heads, and then say, get your head in here. In the penis museum. In the small section. I'm just saying. When I get to Europe, I swear to God, I'm going to go there. I'm going to go. It's over. It's done. I'm going. I have to go. Not only to see the penis museum, I want to see if I can get kicked out, number one.
Speaker: Number two, I'm going to ask a billion questions. Can I get a top here? Do you need a master top? How do I become the master debater top? Why are you calling a master debater? Copyright it, don't worry about it.
Speaker: Yes, just just don't worry. I know what I'm doing. I'm the master debater. Are you? No, I didn't think so. Don't question my authority. You guys need a marketing manager. I'm just saying I can market the shit out of this place.
Speaker: I don't know how the hell I'm supposed to be. You guys will be the number one tourist attraction in the world when I'm done. You're just like my little buddy Jeff and our rookie Tim, just handle this. We got this under control. I hope you guys have parking because you're going to need it. News breaks. Iceland has become the number one tourist spot in the world, all because of the penis museum.
Speaker: Well, let's go to the master debaters. We have to do the shot here. No, we're not going to go outside and watch the shot here. I don't care if it's not okay for the news. Put it here.
Speaker: I thought it was a big wall of microphones with a giant penis behind me. I'm just saying. And we all have different uniforms. I request the mountain uniform, the Canadian mountain uniform. We could put Tim in like an old English constable type uniform. Tim is brown with a pig stripe. Jeff, you're like one of the...
Speaker: You'd be in one of those Queen's Guards uniforms with the big furry. Better yet, I'm going to have the same Mountaineer uniform as you, but I'm going to do a hookah for the shorts from Sabrina 911. What the fuck is going on? And I'll stretch the whole diamond for a forgot.
Speaker: I don't know how I'm supposed to and we're like we're late for a break and I don't know how the hell I'm supposed to segue this right into uh right into one of our uh one of our uh
Speaker: Yeah. But I'm going to try it. What they do in China is they blend those into a drink. You want to blend something.
Speaker: great content like this and you're probably wondering why the hell do these guys
Speaker: distribute and promote and get their content out there. Well, that's easy. We use Zincaster. Why? Because it's easy. And it allows us to be free and creative and do all the fun, random things that we do on this show because
Speaker: Uh, at the end of the day, I are 100 % special as can be. Let me tell you a little bit about Zincaster. Oh my goodness. It is super easy to use to revert, record your podcast with Zincaster login using your browser. Start recording a high quality podcast right away. Record studio quality sound and up to 4k video with your guests. Yes. You can have guests on the show with you as you record.
Speaker: and always feel a sense of zen knowing zen casters multi -layered backups ensure you always have your recordings and the highest quality even if the connection is unstable much like mine or your relationship
Speaker: Have you ever worried that you sound, what you sound like? Zincaster's post -production process makes you sound buttery smooth. It automatically removes those ums and ahs in your recording. It removes those awkward pauses in conversation to set the right podcast loudness and levels while reducing background noise. Cause if you got a crazy house like ours here at nonsensical nonsense, you want that stuff to go away with a click of a button.
Speaker: Not only that, but everything you need is all in one. If you've thought about podcasting before and realize that you need a lot of different tools and services, those days are over with Zincaster's all in one podcasting platform. You can create your podcast all in one place and distribute to Spotify, Apple, and other major destinations.
Speaker: Go to zincaster .com slash pricing and use my code words are hard and you'll get 30 % off your first month of any Zincaster paid plan. I want you to have the same easy experiences we do for all of my podcasting and content needs. It's time for you to share your story. Again, go to zincaster .com slash pricing, use our promo code words are hard and get that discount 30 % off your first month of
Speaker: a paid plan, not only that, but if you're not a podcaster and you enjoy listening to podcasts, I'm going to go ahead and roll this right into another little shout out. Go ahead and check out some of our, our, our good friends that does not sensible nonsense. Our friends like, like the mental health hour hosted by Tim and Jim, Tim's actually in the, in the chatters box tonight, hanging out with us. You got a smoke with our voice smoke late night parents with Mr. Ted Hicks.
Speaker: Bluesy ass podcast, hopefully going to win best best of the Bay down in Tampa for the best podcast in the area. Hosted by my man Dizzy and company. Yeah, Tony D rocking the fantasy. Sorry, sorry, Tony, I fucked that up. The Belt Kings Fantasy Football League every Sunday, not to mention him randomly popping up to do his music show.
Speaker: You got our friend and your old friend, Steve Jarvis and friends, podcasts. He's doing movie reviews. He's doing interviews. He's doing it all. He might be on here before long. Who knows? He wants to be a part of the show and I want to get him on the show and get him a part of the show. Oh, I feel like I'm missing somebody. Mr. B and his MMA man alive.
Speaker: If you're in the MMA box, even fighting whatever, you got to check out Mr. B. He's doing his thing and he's probably one of the smartest cats out there when it comes to fighting. I mean, why he's not - Pronouncing names and pronouncing names. We can't pronounce our own names. He can pronounce his crazy names. He is an artiste when it comes to name pronunciation.
Speaker: I feel like I forgot somebody and if I did, I'm sorry. I'll try to get you guys next time around. I uh there's a lot of people that um that we support who we don't support is Ron Sensical. Ron sends reviews. **** that guy. I mean, you can go check it out. You can go check it out if you want. If you're into that kind of stuff, if you if you you know and if you're not into that kind of stuff, you can
Speaker: Non -sensical, nonsense, better. You're a wish version. With that being said, we're going to take ourselves a real quick break. I thought I had a song pulled up, but apparently I do not. Let's do.
Speaker: Okay, let's show my man. And if you guys are in music, go check out my dude, Rackley EDM combat. That's my brother from another mother. Go check him out. I'm gonna give you all a little sample taste of his music. Let's do...
Speaker: is a remake of I hate everything about you three days grace probably going to get we're probably going to get sucked just so you know. So if you're watching this on Facebook, go ahead and jump on over to YouTube. Nonsense. Well, nonsense, back. Let's jump over there. We're probably going to get sucked. If we do, I'm gonna put this up on up on up on the Twitter. I mean, the Twitter. I mean, X. Just a few.
Speaker: X going to give it to you I hate everything about you Why do I love you I hate everything about you Why
Speaker: What do you think about you?
Speaker: Yeah. Hell yeah. Great song. Made better by, by our guy. Like I said, that was Rock Lee EDM combat. Check him out on YouTube and whatnot. And I think he's back on TikTok now. I think Rocky's back on TikTok now. Check out his remixes. Check out what he's doing. Like I said, it's my brother from another mother. That's my, that's my dude right there. That's, that's, that's my guy. Um,
Speaker: And we ain't giving him no love lately, outside of the fact that if you did like that, some of you may or may not know you might be new to the show. Our intro, beginning of every show, Rocky made that just for us. Brand new B, brand new everything just for us that he made that. They can do the same for you, for Christ.
Speaker: just just let me know and and and i'll have i'll have my people talk to his people and his people his people is him and my people are me and we'll talk and we'll put you guys in contact if you want to get your own intro or you know something like that if you're a dj or a wrassler or a podcaster yeah i'll talk to my people they'll talk to his people yeah we'll figure something out
Speaker: and get you in touch and he can give you a price. I recommend $300 with my 25 % cut. That's called a commission. No, it's called a cut. Like if I don't get paid, I'm going to cut your ass.
Speaker: Anywho, that's Donkey. I'm Shrek. Welcome back to Shrek 5. I mean, he's Jeff. I'm Glick. Welcome back to Non -Sensical Nonsense. Maybe not already. Oh, we changed the name of the penis museum to Dusty Spongian. Well, that would be the inn built onto the museum.
Speaker: Right. Yeah. We'd have a bed and breakfast, the dusty, spunk bed and breakfast. So right before we came back from break, I was out there and you know, typically we go to break. I go out and I get more beer. I give Nicky a couple of kisses and then I come back here and get ready, take a piss, whatever. So as I, right before we come back from break, I started walking back down the hallway. I popped my head back around the corner and said, Oh, by the way, Jeff and I are starting a penis museum. She went, what? And I said exactly. And I walked back to the bedroom.
Speaker: So, so is it woman? What? That's what you signed up for. Thank you. Like I said, welcome back to non -sensical nonsense. If you're not already, go ahead and check us out on social media, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok.
Speaker: came out with us live every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturdays on YouTube and Twitch. 7 7 15 ish. We kick the show off live. You guys can get the channels box, shoot your shit, hang out with the stick part of the show. We enjoy that. And if you can't join us live or you miss a show and you want to get caught up, go ahead and head over to Zincaster Spotify, basically anywhere and everywhere you listen to podcasts and all that nonsensical nonsense podcast gives us follow, give us a listen and give us a share. We greatly appreciate that.
Speaker: You can also go to bio link bio .link slash nonsensical nonsense. And that's going to give you all of our social media links. Not only that, but it's also going to give you the links to our sponsors. So you can click those links, go right to their websites and don't forget to use our promo code words are hard across the board. Every sponsor we have promo code is words are hard. If you're a fan of the show, you know why. If you're not stick around, you're going to find out why words are hard. Kevin.
Speaker: Go to bed in the morning. All right, calm down. Chris, I have a question for you. You've seen the videos where you try not to laugh, right? I typically don't laugh. Okay, well, then don't laugh. I want to be able to see your face. You got to tilt your head.
Speaker: I had a boy about the same age as me turn to me and say, oh, what happened to your face? And I looked dead in the eye and I said, I don't know why I would never go and see that video and die. It caught on me up.
Speaker: That's funny, I don't care who you are. I have a couple of them like that, but I just didn't even play that one. I see they're coming a mile away, just like if you visit a... Just like if you visit a penis museum, you'll see a lot of people. Well, what the fuck? Dude, we can literally do an entire town based on the penis museum. A what?
Speaker: I was just thinking, you know, you were talking, we were talking about the dusty spunk inn next door to the penis museum. Well, and then of course, the next door. I'm just saying we can do an entire town. We have a whole penis related village. Oh, dude, we can even have
Speaker: We could even have like a little amusement park with rides. Oh, a hundred percent. You know, you know, they know you, when you go to the, like the little street fair, they have that little blue roller coaster for kids and it's supposed to be a bug, but we just reshape it. Yeah. Yeah. We're like trick dad. There's so many things. There's so many things funny like that in Europe. There's a town in Germany.
Speaker: And there's a couple of different towns, but I'd like you to guess the name of this town you and I This is a concentration camp joke no, no, no, no, it's not there's a town in germany. I shit you not Called fuck. It's called fucking There's also a town called coming Dude, we we have state we have cities like that in the states. I get that but I
Speaker: I'm going to be traveling a lot in Europe by every fucking sign that says something, but I'm, Oh, I want to have really traveling. You're going to do in Europe is the same traveling you do in Mexico from your office to your bedroom or to the kitchen. This is a possibility. This is not very speaking, speaking of traveling, Jeffrey. Yeah. You know, I dropped these teasers and then I never get to them.
Speaker: Yeah, exactly. I wanted to get to you. Um, speaking of traveling, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll reach, we'll do a reach around later on this conversation. That's going to be one of the, that could be one of the rides instead of America around. We call it a reach around. We have a little, we have like a, like our own little Disneyland, but we call it Cock -a -land or something like that.
Speaker: Pepe the penis. We can call it Bixnia World. Nice. Pepe the penis is the main mascot. Let me do these travel stories real quick. And let's have a conversation about Pepe Le Pew because not too long ago, a couple of weeks back, actually, you know what? We're going to have this conversation right now.
Speaker: about Pepe LaPue or P .P. LaPue or whatever his name was. A couple of weeks back, you know, Nikki and I had a, we had a date night, you know, we went to a barbecue joint here in town and then went to a craft brewery. And then afterwards, you know, we had one set of plans, but then we actually had two different, we had, which is a rarity for me. Two different roads to go and hang out with people. Well, we chose one road where we went and hung out with, um,
Speaker: my best friend and well, they're both my best friends, him and his wife, Kevin and TJ, who you guys have heard me talk about on the show. They're the kids' Godparents and stuff like that. They were having a little fire in their backyard and his older brother and his girlfriend was there and their next door neighbor and whatnot. And we're all, you know, doing what drunk, I would like to say white people, but their neighbor's African, like literally African.
Speaker: Okay. So, yeah, but he was, he was feeling the white. And, uh, you know, we were drinking, we were sitting around the bomb or a little, little fire pit, having a drunken conversation and we brought up. I don't even know where it came out of the left field, just kind of randomly, organically happening conversation. We started talking about Pepe Le Pew. He, and, and, and, and my exact words were he's a little grapey.
Speaker: Oh, 100%. Which their response was grapey. Oh, 100%. Did you have grapey because he's like the poster child for her. Smecherable harassment. Oh, 100%. And grape. But they're like, you say grapey. Oh, yeah. Sorry. Force of heaven. So that became a conversation. But yeah, absolutely. Like Pepe Le Pew, like you say what you want about the Looney Tunes. And I know that Looney Tunes have been under fire.
Speaker: the last couple years because everybody's woke and everybody's this and everybody's that and you want to can't you you know you want to cancel culture every goddamn thing on the planet yeah there he is but my the one time that i agreed with the woke cancel culture was on pepe la piu it was a hundred percent gravy
Speaker: Oh dude, literally one of the pictures here. Like like seriously, if you threw a frat shirt on this guy. You remember back in the day that college frat that got in trouble for saying no means yes and yes means anal and they were chanting it. Nice, I mean, look at it. That cat is trying to get away and be like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like like no actual.
Speaker: Yeah, she was a cat. She was saying no and pushing him away and fighting off his advances. Bro, put him down. Sexual offender. That is the only thing that I can kind of somewhat agree with the woke community and their cancel culture with the Looney Tunes was that guy. Yeah, 100%. He's a smexual predator.
Speaker: We should be on the list somewhere with Jeff. I mean, seriously, how do you, how do you say this is not? No means no. Can you pull up a clip bunch of you? You handsy motherfucker. Yeah.
Speaker: You tried to cancel the Christmas song. That was a flirtatious conversation between a grown man and a grown woman who gave consent. She was holy. Baby, it's cold outside. Dude, this is OK. We're talking about him being a friend here. He was absolutely a friend. Christ, I ain't never seen that. Really? Oh, hello, Black Snake Moon.
Speaker: Right? I didn't say Blackstick mode in French. This dude is like, Jesus. Let's see. Very gravy. Google Translate. You're right. We're looking though. Oh, yeah.
Speaker: By the way, I'm shipping this to you. If I don't see that on your wedding cake, I'm going to be pissed. I'm sorry. Whoa. Les serpents neure jamais. Les serpents neure jamais.
Speaker: I'm sorry, I was talking to my buddy last night. I'm not that guy that loves friends, but I prefer Joey Tribbiani's.
Speaker: That really sounds like German language is always real angry and scary sounding. No, listen to this. It's a drunk language. Listen to this. That's me. That's me at three o 'clock in the morning. That's a little too clear.
Speaker: I speak French y 'all I'm fucking bi lingual By this time next year All your life you try anything once
Speaker: What happens off the shelf is off the shelf. I'm actually slowly, slowly, slowly learning French already. It is naughty. Spanish is very simple to pick up because they're similar sounds. Part of me, do you have any grateful pong is not French, Jeff? 100 % going to say that at least once.
Speaker: I have to do it. I was talking to my buddy the other day, and he's like, so when are you going to France? Are you just going to speak English? Everybody can be that asshole. I don't know. A, yes. But B, I'm going to eventually learn French because much like how I picked up Spanish, you will eventually pick up French. However, the French speak very, very, very, very fast.
Speaker: I was like, say something in French. He said something and I'm like, sure. He's like, how do you know what you just agreed to? What? What? No way. Okay, we're going. So, the Columbus Zoo, not to completely pull the e -brake on you, the Columbus Zoo,
Speaker: right beside the Columbus Zoo is Zumbizi Bay, which is a big water. Basically owned by the zoo, whatever. Well, for Halloween, they are turning it into a huge haunted attraction. Nice. Called Zombizi Bay. Nice. Six haunts, rides, and bikes.
Speaker: Ohio's ultimate Halloween experience, Zombie Z Bay. That's an unpaid, that's an unpaid sponsorship right there. Zombie Z Bay, if you're in Ohio, hit us up and let's, let's plan a trip everybody. Cause we're going, well, you're not going with your favorite podcast host. Nurk, I'm talking to you because I know there's a lot of you goofy sons of bitches that listen to this show and Nurk because you keep calling me out every time you hear me or you see me, they're like,
Speaker: Your voice sounds real familiar. In all seriousness, it looks like a great experience. Dude, Mexico City, every year during Halloween, they have six flags. And six flags Halloween? Holy fuck, dude. All like two weeks earlier. Yeah, they have six flags in Mexico City. It's actually kind of dope. When we were in Mexico City in December, we went.
Speaker: Most of the, most of the six flags in the States include, well, we used to have six flags up here, um, over by Cedar Point. Remember it was, it used to be seaworld. And then, um, having it next to Cedar Point is you're literally next to Cedar Point. I'm sorry. Next to one of the top number one roller coaster, most roller coasters in one location, anywhere in the world.
Speaker: And you shut up a fucking six flags. Fuck you. I'm going to. Well, it used to be SeaWorld and then SeaWorld was catching a bunch of flag from the weirdos at PETA. I mean, PETA, not to be confused with pedophiles, which most of them probably were. And PETA, PETA, pedos goes hand in hand, you know, and then it became six flags. But what? And then they closed because they failed.
Speaker: You know, you're up in that area. And again, Ohio has two of the, and this isn't just me making it up. I'm not a roller coaster guy. I don't ride roller coasters. Two of the greatest amusement parks in the whole world. Kings Island and Cedar Point. I was on the second train. Okay. So in 2000, Cedar Point came out with a millennium force.
Speaker: It is the largest, at the time it was the largest metal roller coaster on the planet and it had the highest hill. Well, it used an elevator style really system to get you to the top as opposed to the old rickety chain bullshit. So it take you to the top at half the time that would take you on a chain. And I was on the second train ever to go through. And
Speaker: like narrow track on, I fucking love, to your point. I love roller coasters. When we went in Mexico City, I literally had a meeting, you know, because it was on a Friday, I was working and I had a meeting and I'm standing in line for it to get on Superman, right? And I, the Superman, I was like next. And I was like, I got a meeting.
Speaker: I literally rode the ride, got off, went to the lockers, pulled my laptop out, and still made my meeting on time. Hands would be in place. It was awesome. And then took the rest of the day off. But I, oh my God, I love roller coasters. It's one of those things, I would love to take you somewhere like that and force you on every ride, like handcuff you to a bigger person than you, if I could find one to make you go on roller coasters because there's nothing funnier
Speaker: than somebody like you that's afraid of heights going on a roller coaster. I laugh my ass off if I'm on a roller coaster by myself. But have somebody that's afraid of heights like Michelle, Michelle, who was seven at the time, road Superman. She was just tall enough to ride, like to the point where she's standing on tip toes to make the line. And she was scared of death. Like I thought this chick was gonna have a heart attack.
Speaker: But she got off and she was hooked, 100 % hooked, ready to rock and roll. Her father's daughter, ready to go. She's like, what are we going again? What's next? And I was like, I got a meeting. And she was pissed. She's like, but I want to get a ride and do this one again. So I made her mother take her while I was in my meeting.
Speaker: Well, yeah, my, my, my girls, they love roller coasters. Like when we went down to Pigeon Forge and we went to Dollywood, they wrote every roller coaster they can get on. Um, you know, uh, when we went to, uh, you know, we went to Disney, they wrote roller coasters with their mom and they were the little, little, like they were the literal little one went to Disney, but we took the kids to Legoland. I think cash might've been free.
Speaker: And he got on a couple of roller coasters with, with their, with, with their mom and, and his sit with his mom and she used to be by the stroller the whole fucking time. No, I don't get other stuff. Legoland was actually legal. Legoland was actually really fucking cool. My dad would drive us to see the point. My dad can't ride roller coaster. He's got a bad back. Um, so what he would do, he'd go at,
Speaker: For those who don't know, Cedar Point is to broke it up into sections. You have like Old West area, you have this, that, you know, different things. Jan would go to the Old West section, go to the Red Garter Saloon and drink beer. And we were off to the races. Just, Oh God. I loved it. Uh, I was actually, my cousins and I were in a church group and every
Speaker: month there was a trip to Cedar Point. I was on that trip every single month as long as the park was open. We would of course go at the highest pint of the year and the lowest points of the year. The lowest point of the year, you're talking like five minute waits to get in line because nobody's fucking there. Oh I love it. Oh I love it. That is cool. I'm pulling in. So I'm being vague.
Speaker: That's not a bad price either. I'm not mad at that. When Connie and I were still dating before we married, I think Kevin was like three and we went on a business trip for a company we worked for. So we had left Kevin with her mom while we went on this business trip. It was only like four or five days, but one of the days we were there,
Speaker: We had an off day so we went six flag and it was during Halloween. And I had no clue they were going to have a Halloween thing going on. And during the day, of course, it was decorated up Halloween style. But at night, they had dudes run around on roller blades with chainsaws. And someone didn't see it coming. Of course, they scared the shit out of her.
Speaker: freaked out, but I loved it. I love shit like that. While you talk to everybody else in the house, just say, I'm right here. Oh, no, I can't. I can't. That's one of the things I want to do when we get to France is they have Euro Disney in France. They have a Disney park, they got a
Speaker: They got a whole section that's Toy Story, a whole section of cars. I'm so fucking in. I can't wait. We're going to give you your news stories. But since you turned your camera on, I'm silent. I'm over here dealing with
Speaker: More you're dealing with cash being a pain in the ass about dinner Yeah, I owe him and him and buggy and then look at this I Just pinch the fuck out of myself on my chair nice
Speaker: Dude, like rip the skin open, pinch the shit out of myself. It's blistered and bleeding in a matter of seconds. I fucking got my, I'm still bothering. Anywho, you know, him and him and Buggy are such picky fucking eaters, dude. And last night, you know, he liked the Crunchwrap Supreme. He just, he doesn't like tomatoes or, or, or, or sour cream. So like, all right.
Speaker: I can get it all out of the house. That's wrong. So like Nikki said, no biggie. I'm not flipping you guys off. I'm literally bleeding and I don't want to get blood over everything I touch, but she said no biggie because he liked it. She said next time I'll do like a side or a corner or whatever with no or tomato in it. Whatever the case may be.
Speaker: You know, we're two for two tonight with Buggy. Austin, she she's a she's a goddamn garbage disposal. She literally eats everything. Yeah, there's not much I want. Yeah. And then cash out there. I don't I don't like the cheese. You like pizza? Yeah. You like cheese pizza? Yeah. Well, it's the same exact fucking cheese. It's on cheese pizza, bro. I'm talking about whoever I want on the show. But you know, here's the thing. You know what it is?
Speaker: It's it's the same reason like what it is. Kids get to a point where they're going to die on that hill. Yeah, I don't like the steak, dude. Do you like steak? Yeah, it's the same thing. It's just shaved. It's literally a steak shaped. Oh, I don't like yellow peppers. Well, why didn't you get a green one? Because I wanted to agree. Sounds like a you problem. I must be. And he got us the rule meter and cheese on it.
Speaker: Now, the rule is you eat what's on your plate or you don't **** eat and I have the same rule. I bet you, you ate your bread. He's a bread monster. Dude, we went to an Amherst buffet when we were in Hocking Hills. We went down there and got the cabin and everything and Bigfoot. This kid probably ate
Speaker: 10 fucking dinner rolls and you know how the Amish feel like they're big fluffy waiting for eating as many as as he did because they're fucking delicious medicine time baby but um so it's like dude like it's so hard and it's nothing new i mean it's been this way it's so hard to like figure out meals and meal plan
Speaker: And come up with ideas for the kids for dinner because cash and Alexa are so goddamn picky. Same similar problem with my brother -in -law and sister -in -law. My kids, they'll eat anything. They don't fucking, it's food. We'll fucking eat it. We're good. Because since day one of my kids, this is what's on your plate. You don't need it. You don't eat. I'm like that to a certain degree.
Speaker: where all you don't like it. Okay. You're going to have peanut butter and jelly. Well, I want to know you're going to get a butter and jelly. Agreed. Yeah, that's, I'm kind of in the same book. Make yourself say much. I'm going to eat yours. Um, uh, jelly. This is going to blow your mind. Okay. My brother in law claims he's lactose intolerant. He's not lactose intolerant when he's able to hold it up. I mean, here's the kicker though.
Speaker: so For breakfast. I'm like, okay, you guys are hungry make fucking serious. That's what the fucking cereals for this motherfucker will get yogurt and cereal Aren't you like those in hockey tolerant? Yogurt is milk motherfucker. I hate to be the bad bad dude. I mean it's dairy
Speaker: I mean, I don't, I don't eat yogurt. So I, you know, I buy yogurt for the simple fact that he puts it on his foot, but it's just thick milk. You know, I bet you this motherfucker eat cottage cheese. If I can eat cottage cheese, I think I can. Yeah, exactly. We had a conversation. Cottage cheese, cottage cheese can be good, but it's one of those things. I can't remember. My mom.
Speaker: And I have to check. My mom mixes cottage cheese with applesauce. Memory serves correctly. It's cottage cheese and applesauce. Holy shit. That's good stuff. Like good stuff. But it's not something I'm going to rush out and eat. I need cottage cheese. I can't. But I do like cottage cheese. It's like sauerkraut. Good stuff. Not for everybody. I get it.
Speaker: My sister -in -law, this one drives me nuts. She won't eat anything that's white at all. She didn't make sense to me at all. I think it's white. I can't remember what it is. I need to ask my wife. But it's infuriating. For the simple fact, this weekend I went and spent...
Speaker: $437 on groceries. Yeah. And certain things they won't, won't eat drives me insane. She won't eat anything that's white. Oh, okay. Yeah. Sorry. I was dealing with, yeah. As Nikki told him out there. Well,
Speaker: You don't like the cheese, I guess, because tomorrow we're doing, um, we're doing pizza biscuits. So basically you take a biscuit and you mush down the center of it and you put your sauce and your pepperoni and your cheese in it and then throw in the oven. And so he's like, well, I guess you can't have pizza anymore and no more Chipotle because you don't like steak and mozzarella cheese. And he's like, it's not the same. It is the same.
Speaker: Austin he's yeah, you were talking about cottage cheese cheese is fucking disgusting I don't know what my mom mixes with cottage cheese. I want to say applesauce, but I don't know if that's correct peaches No, it's like like applesauce or something I can't remember who was the kids his mom or maybe it was my mom used the Cottage cheese and Pete in like peach slices. I mean
Speaker: something like that yeah i know i mean that makes sense but i i'm not like if you put kind of cheese in my plate i'm not going to not eat it but i'm not going to run around all fucking hells of freda bakers that's fucking sort of like how it's cheesy if you put kind of cheese on my plate i'm throwing it at your stupid face fuck you kind of cheese is good for it's just milk just leave yourself in the fridge for like six months you'll have kind of cheese let's just play it it's soured milk
Speaker: It is. Look, I'm the guy that won't drink milk past the expiration date, even though I know it's got like another three or four days. Really? But I'm also the same guy that'll go to a cow and squeeze some milk out of the tea into a bottle and drink it right there. Warm as fuck, fresh from the tea. Hey, in nature, all milk is warm in nature.
Speaker: humans are the only one that drank cold milk. That's not necessarily true. Well, I mean, it is true, but even baby, unless the animals dead. Well, I mean, humans also drink warm milk when they breastfeed. Doesn't come out warm. Yeah. I mean, it doesn't come out. It doesn't come out cold as well. That's what I'm saying. But when I say middle, yeah, I'm talking about the milk and fridge, like the asshole that broken dudes that was selling dudes house, I got him his fucking job. Just say it. Um,
Speaker: It wouldn't be weird on a list. I would just went up to a cowboy. Oh, I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm eating Oreos or chocolate chip cookies. I need some milk. Whereas like, whereas Ernest once taught us, it's not milk. It's me.
Speaker: I'm sorry. The best Ernest line is an Ernest saves Christmas. The sleigh is
Speaker: And he screams, there's only one thing that can save us now. And stops on the dime, looks at the camera and goes, air, breathe. Fucking hilarious, every time. That man probably had the purest, most genuine hearts in the world. And it would absolutely destroy my childhood.
Speaker: And I know he's long gone, he's passed, but if something comes out that he was like a serial killer and, and, and, and a great, a great, or something like that, I didn't have to tell myself. I'd be like, I'm ending it all because now you have, you see those videos on your childhood. That would absolutely ruin my childhood. Ernest saves Christmas. Oh my God.
Speaker: there's a video floating around that is uh um jib horn or whatever the guy's name is and robin williams hanging out oh wow oh my god it is beautiful
Speaker: They're just cracking jokes. You mean Robin Williams? Yeah, as much as I love Robin Williams and grew up watching Robin Williams and whatnot, if they came out and was like, huh, got some skeletons in the closet, they'd be like, yeah, not surprised. Yeah, well, Robin was a huge coke. Well, yeah, not only that, but I mean, you also, people have seen it, you know, seen it stand up. It's like Bob Saget. Everybody lost their minds because Bob Saget was America's dad.
Speaker: Right. And then he comes out and does his stand up and it's raunchy as fuck. Or he's, Oh yeah. Well, he was on Oscar. What the hell is America's dad. Well, then we found out that he was a serial rapist. And let's be honest, he got off on a technicality. Um, you know, like, but again,
Speaker: did you all what didn't really bother me coming out about Bill Cosby wouldn't bother me if if it came out something bad about Robin I guess I'd be sad if something came out about Robin but wouldn't bother but Jim Barney nobody fucks with Jim Barney because that man dude that motherfucker sold some mellow fucking yellow but let me tell you that motherfucker sold some fucking Sprite that motherfucker was funny
Speaker: I know I can't tell you how many times the movie Beverly hillbilly is a terrible fucking movie But enjoyed it It's not it's it's funny, but it's not like it's not fucking gone with the wind. It's not But Jim Barney is the only reason I watch that movie those movies are
Speaker: Gone With The Wind, Casablanca, they're so miracle on 31st Street. They get these labels of the greatest movies of all time. They're not that good. I've yet to make it through Casablanca all the way. They're not trash, but for their time, they were good movies. Right. But they're not as cinematic gold as everybody says.
Speaker: and and I'm sorry. It's basically like citizen Kane is the greatest movie ever. **** you. It's basically like saying that Fast and the Furious 50 years from now. Is car movie ever? Shut up. That's a good way to get your ass to it. Say it's saying that guys and beers is an excellent car movie. No, it's not. It's ****
Speaker: who the **** has 47 years in their **** Mazda Miata? I'm sorry. Congratulations Vin Diesel. You showed us your acting skills and trust me, you are really pushing the limits in Guardians of the Galaxy and then Avengers with I am group. Trust me, you you really maxed out your your abilities there. Yeah, you're you're pushing the definition of actor. Yeah, just just be I'm just saying if Vin Diesel, if Vin Diesel is considered a great actor,
Speaker: I am fucking Brad Pitt of acting. I'm sorry. Just just just be a tough guy. Just be the guy you are. I'm Tom Hardy. I am the Tom Hardy of acting. Vin Diesel is considered a great actor. Yeah. Just just be the guy. What was that movie that he was in early early in his career? The No, the knock was it knock around guys or something like that where they were like the young boys.
Speaker: Up and coming. Yeah. Something like that. Just be that guy. That's all you are. Just be the dream. Agree. Read what's on the script. That's it. There's nothing wrong with that. I mean, guys have made careers out of that. Bandam. Schwarzenegger. The Rock. No. Believe me. Trust me. Let's be honest. That dude has made a career out of being that guy. He's made a career out of being The Rock.
Speaker: I will get the rock credit. He is a better actor than Vin Diesel. Not by much. But don't get me on that tangent again. I already went down that road Monday night. We don't need to do it again. It's too soon for everything. But I digress. You can make it through those classic movies like
Speaker: Gone with the wind and I understand for that era, you know, and you're talking, you know, our generation, we grew up in the eighties and early nineties. We grew up with with action movies and John Hughes. I mean, John Hughes is a fucking legend. I don't watch a John Hughes movie any day of the week. Name a bad John Hughes movie. Don't worry. I'll wait. Can't.
Speaker: you know the the the coming of age movies like uh uh dazed and confused summer school with spicoli oh my god well fuck i had a piece of delicious summer school that movie that movie summer school is one of the funny like
Speaker: Those two guys in summer school that are like the horror guys that is fucking you Yeah, and not only the 80s and 90s They invented the horror genre. Yeah, we had movies in the 30s and 40s and whatever Nosferatu and blah blah blah and
Speaker: But I mean, the entire genre, the slasher genre was created by Wes Craven himself. Another classic. And John Carpenter. John Carpenter cannot do wrong. John Carpenter brought us Michael Myers. Wes Craven brought us Nightmare on Elm Street and Scream. John Carpenter also brought us one of the greatest comedies, action movies ever.
Speaker: take trouble a little time. Yeah let's dive into where we take that dive and say John Carpenter and Wes Craven can't do any wrong. Go ahead and dive into their library and you're going to be even they'll go yeah maybe maybe okay so John Carpenter he's got the thing
Speaker: from 82, he's got Halloween, escaped from New York. They live. I come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubble gum. It's the greatest line in any fucking movie ever. I don't care what you say. But nobody else could deliver that line other than Hot Rod, Rowdy Piper. Agreed. In the 1980, 1980, I've never seen that.
Speaker: I was 98. Was it was it Carpenter who did trimmers? Who did trimmers? That line and they live could not have been delivered by anybody else. This is also the same cat in wrestling that was like. Just what do you think you have all the answers? I changed the questions.
Speaker: Okay, so it was Ron Underwood was tremors Was tremors Ron Underwood I was written by Ron Underwood Brent Maddock and SS Wilson But Fred Ward Fred Ward as the as the old guy tremors Fuckin genius. I love Fred Ward. He can't do no Carpenters got some okay. Yeah
Speaker: Law and Order from 1953. Yeah, Craven, Craven gave us Nightmare on Elm Street. Scream, the last house on the left, the hills have eyes. Dude, Carpenter did Silence with the Hangouts, which is a fucking kinds of lambs, uh, spoof. That movie's funny.
Speaker: Uh, Wes Craven was involved with Swamp Thing. He gave a shocker, cursed. All right. Here's, here's not a winner by Wes Craven. Dracula 2000. Carpenter brought the greatest car movie in the history of car movies. Christine. That was Stephen King. That was Stephen King, that was Stephen Carpenter. Carpenter, Carpenter put it on film.
Speaker: And I thought he did a fucking excellent job and but like I said 1986 is big trouble in little China
Speaker: That was a lame -ass movie. Just like that other lame -ass movie about cars. Oh my god. The cars are alive and they're possessed. I'm just on the other side. Where'd you go? Oh, my internet. My internet. Your hand's too dark. Why are you out of breath? Because I am. From where? From the house to the same house to several times. What?
Speaker: I came from our house, ran all the way to Zane's house. Why did you go to Zane's house? I ran there. Why were you outside at nine 30 at night or nine or 20 after nine? What? Oh, no, my internet does shit. It's storming out. But, uh,
Speaker: No, I said Christine Christine was a terrible fucking movie just like that other goddamn movie that you guys fucking love Oh, no, the cars are possessed. What will I do stand outside? West Craven was a horror god. Oh No, he's got some great
Speaker: Um All right, I find it The green goblins in my truck for maximum overdrive Dude, there's a guy driver out again. I love the movie movie who
Speaker: Steven King directed it. Yeah. Well, I'll debut. Oh, bro. How are you doing, Elliot? Thanks for stopping by. Hey, what's up, dude? I'm sorry. We're here every Monday. No. Oh, no. It's a possessed car. Let me stand in an alley and go.
Speaker: What do I do? Oh, I'm dead. I'm just going to go fucking inside. Or I'm going to go. Or I'm going to go. I didn't really work too well for Buddy Reppertin. Or I'm going to go. I want to go. Hey, demon. I'm trapped in this garage. Whatever will I do? And then it's going to come running. I'm going to hit the button. The garage door is going to shut. I'm going to leave and be like, deuces.
Speaker: You know, I'm sorry. That, that argument didn't work for buddy references. Christine, Christine took his ass out, blew up the garage and left. Doesn't matter. Ran Bill and buddy referencing over. It's like sitting in a car because there's a goddamn rabid dog out there called Kujo. You shoot that dog in the, in the story. Why are we sitting in a car? Here's my question about Kujo. Why wouldn't the car start?
Speaker: Who wins kujil or christine christine she's gonna run that dog over apparently not because christine would uh Uh good question actually I do yes soundtrack is 90 uh
Speaker: ACDC, by the way. If I remember correctly, the soundtrack to that movie was actually not the biggest ACDC fan either. But I believe that soundtrack was actually pretty good. So soundtrack. Oh, no. Yeah, it is all it is. Who made who? D .T. D .T. Ride, ride on, chase the ace. Sit and think. For whom the bell tolls, hell bell, hell bell.
Speaker: I mean, soundtracks all Angus young and it says it says composed entirely by the group ACDC. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, great soundtrack. It's not that I don't like the movie. Trust me. I love the movie to this day. If I see it, I'm what I want to watch it. But it's severely fucking overrated, bro. So are you, but we still tolerate the bonus points.
Speaker: I'm in a gold star. Yeah, you do get. Yeah, thank you. You get the comment, drop it up on the screen. There we go. Cold star for the night. I'm not saying that it's an amazing move. I do like the concept. I think it's, and yes, it's completely, uh, stupid. And the book is actually called trucks, not maximum overdrive.
Speaker: So if you want to read Stephen King's book, drugs, that's back to me. I will, I will give maximum overdrive. But I think Christine, the problem with Christina's comes down to no matter what you do, that cart, that bitch is coming back. She picks herself. I mean, tell you don't tell me you don't want that. You scratch that bitch. She just picks herself. I'm in.
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, I'm definitely down for that. I mean, I would love to have a car that's gonna fix itself. Oh, 100%. Well, and this was a discussion I got in with the wife. If money not an object, would you buy a 58? Christine? No. You wouldn't buy one? No. Like, oh, dude, I would totally rough it.
Speaker: I would, however, buy that old school 50s model Cadillac that Nancy's dad got impaled on by Freddy Krueger. OK. But it's like it was in a junkyard and Freddy was just like her dad was like, Oh God, I'm dead on the back like on the headlights that wing that that that tip that came off.
Speaker: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The antenna. Yeah. Yeah. The only thing that really. Movie cars. And if I was going to buy a bunch of movie cars, yes, I would 100 percent. I spoke in bed at Firebird. That was those are dime a dozen. If you really look at the market. Yeah, but you can get. Yeah, but you're going to be like.
Speaker: I would love to have like a DeLorean. What in the ****? Good night. Good night. Love you. Good night. Love you. She's apparently a boyfriend too. I don't know. Look, I just had to watch Chucky. That's her boyfriend. Oh my god. This is his boyfriend's a monkey. Doesn't he miss? Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
Speaker: You know, we said that's your boyfriend. We didn't call it a name. I did not. I said, that's your boyfriend. You're you. Y 'all. You know, you're the one. Jeff, Jeff, give her the sign. You know, you know, you know, look, you know what you are. That's what you are. It's old. Yeah, you need to go to bed. You need Jesus in your life, too. Jesus.
Speaker: So so this is the question for you if you're buying you're buying movie car replicas Not the actual you know ones that you could actually drive What do you buy? And and I know I'm gonna get hate for it, but I gotta buy the fucking general I mean Yeah, I mean but again the general Lisa diamond delson like you said about the firebird
Speaker: I get that. No, but I still buy one of her too. We literally grew up with a guy in Mansfield, just down the road from both of us who had like 20 of them in his barn. Actual General Lee's from the dukes. But not only that, I'm buying the 18th van. I'm 100 % buying a Christine and I swear to God, I'm going to have a, like a, uh, you know, Hilton.
Speaker: Stereo that only plays a song from the movies. Yeah. A hundred percent. Yeah. A hundred percent buying Stephen Fleas bullets. Terrible fucking movie. Terrible movie. Excellent cartoon. I might catch heat from this, but, uh, and I don't know if I'm right or not. Jeff, correct me if I'm wrong. The Gran Torino from Starsky and hush hush. Is that what they drove?
Speaker: There's a grand trail. I like that car. I know that some bitch was about 475 feet long. And it ugly as shit. It's actually an ugly car. That car was dope. I'm not mad at that. I like the bull Mustang. Yes. Steve McQueen. I totally forgot about that. But like I'm totally also buying buying the Keaton, the Keaton Batmobile. And I want the public.
Speaker: We have an opening on the show. I know I am, but I'm such a fucking nerd that like Ohio, he's got a YouTube channel. He's actually a famous car guy. I can't remember his name off the top of my head, but he had to keep that mobile. Yeah, I'm such a fucking nerd. Like I would want the original. I don't want to go on. Yeah. Oh, 100%.
Speaker: 100%. You know, to actually have one built, if you would, if you would have the Ecto one built, if you can find one, as long as you can show up and add to the criteria, that's really the criteria show up on time. Um, show up, be here. Don't give excuses and be on 47 other apps at the same time. Yeah. Unfortunately.
Speaker: It is what it is. Unfortunately, uh, I gave you an exit there. So I gave you an exit. Yeah. That's what it is. But it's like, there's not a movie car out there, like a legitimate movie car that I want. Who doesn't want Knight Rider car? Well, that's what, that's what I'm trying to think. Like, you know, like, cause there's,
Speaker: And I'm not a car guy. So when I'm watching a movie, I'm not necessarily looking at like, Oh my God, that's a nice car. You know what I mean? Or like, awesome. By the way. Yeah. Yeah. You actually did get that right. It's the silver blue one that he shows up in too fast. You hear it. But at the end of the day, when I say movie car, I'm not saying a car that was in a movie.
Speaker: I'm saying, you know, like Knight Rider, Jack Firebird was a movie guy. Or like, you know, not to go back to fucking God, I can't think of the name of the goddamn movie.
Speaker: of fucking, uh, Marty McFly, uh, back to the future. I liked his, I liked his, I liked his Toyota at the end of the movie. And the first one that 1986 Toyota four by four, they are so hard to find. You can find an 87 and I'd find an 80 85 finding the 86 extended gap four by four is practically impossible because they are snatched up by every back to future man on the planet.
Speaker: There's OJ Simpson's white Bronco count. It was technically in a movie. I mean, I mean, I'm kind of in like there is a there is a guy that has it. Yeah, Kit was a Pontiac actually. He's actually a firebird. Yeah, Pontiac was a firebird. Yeah, it was a Pontiac fire when they rebooted when they rebooted Knight Rider.
Speaker: oh my god that thing was gorgeous yeah that was nice yeah like i would want that one too i would want i want what you don't have to prepare you can't have this one oh yeah you got it and i i would i would not drive them but all the batmobiles i mean just stand by the batmobile
Speaker: My favorite battle meal. Go ahead and go ahead and crucify me. I'm going to stand on this hill. But my favorite Batmobile. Speaking of Batman, I got to reach out to this because we got to get dizzy back on the show because I mean, I got into a very heated argument that turned into a secondary be very heated argument about Batman. I really liked the new Batman with with the sparkly vampire dude. I liked his Batmobile.
Speaker: It's my favorite one. Robert Pattinson. The newest bag. Oh yeah, I'm not mad at that. It's actually 69 charges. Yeah, I like that one. That's my favorite one. I'm not mad at it. I'm not mad at that. It's actually gorgeous. However, and I will cut teeth for this. What's his name? Val Kilmer's. Val Kilmer's Batmobile is kind of dope. With all the neon and shit.
Speaker: I like Chris O 'Connell's nipples. I didn't do it. You know what I was mad about the Clooney, you know what I was mad about the Clooney one that, uh, uh, my girl didn't have nipples on her. Everybody else did have all the battlefields regardless. It's like, you got to complete the set.
Speaker: But. With what's actually really hard to find with with with Jeff's latest nipple comment. We'll leave you on that one. We didn't take a break, but but I get this question a lot. Click where do you get the energy to put up with Jeff? It's simple. Good friends at W energy.
Speaker: They give me the energy and the focus with no crash and no jitters and all the essential vitamins to be able to put up with Jeff and deal with Jeff. And if you want the same energy drink, if you're tired of these monsters and the red bulls and everything like that, they're going to give you the jitters and leave you with a crash and you hit a wall at a hundred miles an hour, an hour or so after you get done, uh, drinking it. Go check out our friends over at w .gg.
Speaker: Place your order. They got all these great flavors. Place your order. Use our promo code words are hard before you check out, get your discount, save you some money, get energized, get focused, no jitters and no crash. And with that being said, let's take a real quick break and come right back. We're going to dive right back into these conversations because this is what we do. This is nonsensical nonsense. This is what we do.
Speaker: We do have a position open for a third chair. So don't go anywhere. Hang out. I'm on, I got my man coming up again. Rockly EDM combat remixes. Check them out on YouTube and TikTok and Facebook. Go show my, go show my guys some love. This is his remix of Judas's or Fozzy lead singer, Chris Jericho of Judas. Cause we did have a Judas amongst us.
Speaker: I'm glad Jesus and you can't crucify him. Judas, take your blood. He's out. What have I become? Now that I've betrayed everyone I've ever lost, I push them all away. And I have been a slave to the Judas in my mind. Is there something left for me to save in the wreckage of my life, my life?
Speaker: You've woken up since the sun
Speaker: By the darkness but loosing the light It's so controlled by demons I fight What have I become?
Speaker: There he is. There he is. There. Rock Lee. Yeah. Combat remixes right there. As Tim Conrad said in the cheddar's box, have I heard this one in a bit? It's an absolute banger. This has been a fan favorite for a hot minute. It's a good song. Oh, I love it. Rock Lee. Bro, we need more music. We need you to get that album out. I need you to get that album out. I want to play the music on the show, bro.
Speaker: Yeah and you can't use the excuse of your music moving anymore because it's been like a month you should be moved and moved in by now. It's been well over a month since he moved. He's moved in, he's playing, he's doing new music, he's working on a new album. I'm looking forward to it. I'm ready for it. But if you enjoyed that or if you like our intro music
Speaker: go ahead and check out EDM Combat Remixes on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok. Once you find one, you're going to find all of them. Go check them out. Del Rocky. His boo sent you. He actually knows who I am. Unlike all these other artists that we tell you guys to listen to. We had one. We had Matt. We got Mojo on the show and he'll still go, who the fuck is not physical now?
Speaker: That's not a slam on that's not a slam on matter or blacktop mojo. That's a slam on us. No, they are way more famous than we are. I I see the hoodie. That I want to get. And it's on the front of it, it says. I'm not famous, but you know me.
Speaker: And I want to get logos like on the back of it. I saw one I want to get when people ask me why, where they know me, I always ask them because I do porn. Thanks. And you're probably asking if you're not famous and you're known, why is that? Well, it's because I host this here podcast. Welcome back to nonsensical nonsense. He's Jeff. I'm Glick when our powers combined.
Speaker: We are Captain Planet. I was actually thinking about that today. No, but I'll see if I can find you one. If you're speaking to this podcast, if you're not already, go ahead and check us out on social media. We are on Facebook, Instagram. I'm going to hit you with the stunner. We are on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok.
Speaker: You can also join us live every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday on YouTube at seven, seven 15 ish. We usually get the show kicked off. We get going doing what we do. You can get in the tennis box. You can join into the conversation and your two cents, make fun of us, whatever the case may be. We are down for everything. We enjoy interacting with you guys. We have fun hanging out with you guys and definitely, you know, let you guys add to the show.
Speaker: If you can't join us live, or if you miss us live and you want to get caught up, you can listen to us anywhere, any place on Zincaster, Spotify, and everywhere. Listen to podcasts at all at nonsensical nonsense podcast. Go ahead and check us out. Give us a follow. Give us a listen. Give us a share. If you'd be so kind. And if you can't find us, well, simply go to bio .link slash nonsensical nonsense. And we're going to be right there. It's going to have all our links to all of our social medias. Not only that.
Speaker: But it's also gonna have our spot our sponsors in there and if you're interested in any of our sponsors If you're a podcaster and you're looking for an outlet, that's gonna make life easier for you. Check out Zincaster if you're if you're looking to get Hydrated because some of us most of us a good majority of us don't properly hydrate. We got liquid IP up there and
Speaker: We got W energy up there. They're going to get you energized. We got one jet up there. There are part -time sponsors. They come and go. They're like, Oh, we'll sponsor them. Oh, we're not going to sponsor them. We're going to sponsor now. We're going to, you know, back and forth. It's a dance. We do. It's okay. But they're all there. The links are there. Click them. Easy lemon squeeze. Anything. What's up? I have a, I have a mild enough, a little bit of a,
Speaker: Uh, our favorite comic book character, Deadpool. Jeff, no one asked. I have an announcement. I have an announcement for you. Uh, did you see the Adam project? I not have not seen it, but I know what you're talking about. That's the one where, again, it goes back in time and runs into itself. Well, the kid in the Adam project, his name is Walker. Walker, Texas ranger. Well, he.
Speaker: It has been dangled that he will play Kid Pool in Deadpool 3 from Earth -10 -330. Yeah, there's been a lot of talk with this new Deadpool 3 and or 4, where we're going to see a lot of variations of Deadpool. Yeah, it's very much Spider -Verse kind of thing going on. To the point where I've even heard it, and I don't know how true it is, but I was with my clay glitters.
Speaker: If you get me a nuclear bomb, I'm not getting you a nuclear bomb. Oh, get ready for better. Why would anybody give you a nuclear bomb? That's like giving Chris and I nuclear bomb. It's just not a bad idea. It's a terrible idea. That's like putting Chris and I in charge of a penis museum. It's penis world. You do what you're going to do.
Speaker: I'm going to go find me. We're going to expand that place. We're going to make it here. You, yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's penis world. We got the museum. We got the cream pie bakery. We got the, the dusty spunk Ben versus USA. What? USA.
Speaker: Yeah. Penis, penis, penis. Well, I like penis world though, but penis down here is dusty, spun breakfast, the cream pie bakery, the penis museum. You got to work for the kiddies where they can ride the penis. Go around. I feel like we're putting ourselves on a, on a weird predator list at this point. Yeah. I have another vehicle that I literally just thought of.
Speaker: And you can actually buy this one. It is actually for sale at Barrett Jackson. So you'd have to bid on it. What is the Queen family truckster from National Lampoon's Christmas Day? Dude, I would totally rock that fucking way. No. Good 23.
Speaker: We would sell t -shirts and say I love. I mean, I would definitely like 20, 20, 24 for presidency. I'm definitely getting the, uh, at least the G vote from the LGBTQIA apostrophe. Whatever you do. Honestly, what's worse than G.
Speaker: If you, if you became president, do you do much of a worse job? Literally. I told you it's baby steps. President. King. God. No, I'm being honest. Like if you became president, showing a video of you fighting kangaroos, like that video, there's a, there's a AI or it's not AI, but it's a Photoshop picture of Putin on a bear.
Speaker: We'll share that actual video of you fighting in Kangaroo and food and be like, yeah, you know what, we're good.
Speaker: No, I just simply, I just simply, I show the world how strong America is by going and beating up a kangaroo, beating up a black bear, bitch slapping a moose, taking over Canada and, and, and completely doing away with it. I'm sorry. I will, I will concede that maybe you could take on, I will concede the fact that maybe you could take out a bear, maybe you could take out a kangaroo, but the moose will fuck you up.
Speaker: You ever seen that Dave Chappelle? You are not the dude from fucking Blazing Saddles that punches a horse and the horse falls down. That moose is going to fuck you up. Have you ever seen the Dave Chappelle episode with Wayne Brady? Wayne Brady going to have to choke a bitch? I'm going to go click that and choke a moose. The moose are huge. What the fuck you up? Man, I didn't say I was going to fight a moose. I said I was going to bitch slap a moose.
Speaker: Gator don't play. Gator don't play. Gator don't play. I love that. I'm a peacock captain. You gotta let me fly. First of all, peacocks don't fly. First of all,
Speaker: Anyhoo, anyhoo, anyhoo. I love national lampoons, family vacation, national lampoons, Christmas vacation, just as much as anybody else, but nobody wants to buy it.
Speaker: This thing literally has on the side. Unless it comes with dead grandma strapped to the fucking roof, I don't want it. It does, actually. I still don't want it. If anything. It's obviously not a real dead body, but they have wrapped in a fucking tarp, a dead body on the thing. And it even has honky lips on the side, but it is vinyl lettering.
Speaker: Mark with the reach. Mark with the reach around Jeff. Twenty two. Twenty twenty two. I will stuff you in my way. If anything for National Lampoons, I want Uncle Eddie's RV. Oh, 100%.
Speaker: just so I can wear a bathrobe in one of those winter hats. I just stand outside with holding the hose, whether it's full or not, just going, shit, it was full. I would totally do that every day. Fucking Randy Quaid. He's a national treasure. He should be protected at all costs. 100%. Randy Quaid, I know you're crazier than Nick Nolte in a raccoon in a burlap sack, but Randy Quaid's just hanging out with fucking
Speaker: Uh, Gary Busey, you know, between Gary Busey, Nick Noldy, and, and Randy Quaid. That's a three. That's the movie we need. That's a three. That's a three. Don't give him a script to say. We're just filming the podcast that we all need. Did you hear? Yeah.
Speaker: Good night. What have been? Was it was it Nolte? You have a big. OK. It's about to be fun of you. There was a video. I don't know how old or new or anything like it is. I don't know if it is Busey or or Nolte.
Speaker: and they rear into this chick. And she was recording them trying to stop them, right? And they were like, I'm private. And she's like, no, you hit my car. We have to call the police and get insurance. And he was like, no, no, no, it's fine. It's fine. I'm private. And then he just drives off. And this lady's recording one.
Speaker: He hit my car. All I wanted was his insurance. Yes. Give me a movie. Just Randy Quaid, Nick Molti and Gary Busey sitting in a room together. Give them Coke and alcohol. Give them Coke and alcohol. Agree. It'll be the greatest cinematic creation of all time.
Speaker: Just like a two hour movie of those three sitting in the room. It's basically this show with really famous fucking people. I agree. I'm just saying. Although the problem with Busey, you want to talk about words are hard. Sometimes he stops and you don't know what he's saying. Let's talk about button trumpets. Where does that come from? You know what? Here's what I found out. I don't know if you've seen that clip yet.
Speaker: Uh, apparently it's fucking AI. I'm so fucking pissed. What's, what's AI? Oh, hold on. Bear with me. Let me find it real quick. What? Actually, Hey, Jeff, I got a wild card for you. I got a wild card for you to throw into the mix. Just randomly halfway through the movie. Mickey Rourke.
Speaker: I'm just saying wild card Mickey Rourke halfway through the movie toss him into the room
Speaker: I got one. I got one. I got to send it to my computer. This video, I'm so pissed. I thought it was real.
Speaker: I thought this was real, and apparently it's all a, it's duck, I mean, uh, obviously somebody's cooked some buttered sausage in the background, but, um, I'm so pissed that this isn't, so UC was on a, um, a podcast and somebody,
Speaker: and somebody took the interview and throw it through AI so it would do this. Let's talk about buttered sausage. Talk about buttered sausage, where it comes from, what it does. Why is it doing what it's doing? Get it out of my face. What about buttered sausage? That's not your jam. It's not your thing. You don't like it? It's not my jam. I don't buy jam. I buy honey and I kiss it on the lips.
Speaker: If that was real I'm fucking on a beauty train me apparently the whole thing's a you know, I dude like
Speaker: Nolte and Busey, especially Busey, man, because he went wacko years ago. This isn't something that just happened in the last five years. This happened decades ago.
Speaker: Yeah, juicy lost his ever loving mind and his son looks just like him and he might not be as He is underrated So much dude, I Know you love horror movies. I love you those weird movies him and fucking what's that?
Speaker: I don't think I don't think I don't think Busey's crazy has anything to do with drugs and alcohol I think it's a hereditary thing in his mind just isn't It's just a train wreck man. I and we're not making fun of you see your melody or or equate or even Mickey Rourke at that point. It's just like
Speaker: I grew up watching these guys. I mean Mickey Rourke was the coolest dude on the planet In the movie Harley dave's is the marble man. I don't care who you are. You see that movie You're like, I want to be that he was the coolest guy. Hey, hold on a second And Don Johnson was also in that movie that's one of my favorite movies of all time. I love that movie Jump buddy jump into that fucking pool and he's like I hate you
Speaker: You squeeze it don't pull it it's not your dick Fucking there's not a line in that movie that is not quotable But I'm sorry the funniest part of that movie it's it's a throwaway it's a throwaway line in that movie when Marvel man has
Speaker: I spent the night with Virginia Slim, and Harley's picking him up in the morning, and he realizes there's a Harley Davidson sitting in Virginia's driveway, and he's going to hotwire it. He's like, he stole my woman. I'm going to steal his bike. And he's cutting the wires, and Harley's over there lighting a cigarette, and he's like, you got to cross over. I don't have a hotwire apart bike. Fucking hilarious. He's so pissed in that moment. That movie, I've seen that movie so many times.
Speaker: It's a terrible movie. The concept is terrible. Oh, it's a great movie. There's nothing terrible about that movie. The storyline is kind of like, eh. Oh my God. Holy crap. The words to live by from that movie. It's better being dead and cool than alive and uncool. I'm literally getting that. I've got the DVD.
Speaker: You remember, here's a little nostalgia, a little throwback for you, ladies and gentlemen. Remember Columbia house. Yeah. I still hold them like four pennies. I think, I think everybody in their forties owes Columbia house like a hundred and some odd dollars. Well, remember when, remember when they introduced
Speaker: Uh, did you die? Did you freeze or did I? I don't know. Hey, we're back. I was going to say, remember when they introduced like, I think it was, it might've been a combination.
Speaker: I don't know if it was Columbia House or it was a different company but they had movies, DVDs and shit like that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They got a fuck ton of movies, man. Yeah. My mom. One of the first movies that I ordered was Harley Davidson and the Marvel Man and it's still in my closet like every once in a while, I got this, I got this box full of like DVDs.
Speaker: Yeah, it's like I was weird wrestling on the other side of this wall underneath the TV. I've built a floating shelf and it's actually grown to seven floating shelves full of DVDs. There's over 500. Well, I just got a couple bucks. But, um, but one of the very first movies that I, that I purchased or that I ordered, uh, let's be honest, we didn't purchase them much like the Columbia house CDs or tapes or anything like that.
Speaker: Um was harley davis and the marvel man. I love that movie that much And oh, yeah, I will never it's a terrible movie i'll never say it was a bad movie because Everything about that movie was fucking perfect. It was not It wasn't like they made that movie and go oh man. This is going to be a box office hit They just put They couldn't have casted anybody better to play harley and marvel. Oh 100 And don jochen did you find out? Dude, I found out
Speaker: And I'm going to have to buy it. It's a done deal. I've been told I'm allowed to purchase it. So there answer your question earlier. Reach around. I want Harley's bike. And I don't like Harley's. I'm building it. I'm going to build it because it's actually it's actually not that hard. I've already got the tank. I bought the tank. I have to pay.
Speaker: I feel like Mickey Rourke has the bike from that movie. And that's what I want. But it wouldn't surprise me if it came out or feel like we googled it that Mickey Rourke has that bike in his garage. It would not surprise me. Not one bit. Well, I've talked about my love of the show, Sons of Anarchy. Apparently, when that show wrapped,
Speaker: All the actors kept their bikes. They just took them. They didn't ask, they just took them. So the fact that he could have that bike would not surprise me one bit. However, I did find that his jacket
Speaker: You can buy his jacket, the exact one looking exactly like his in the movie. Harley Davidson jacket is for sale on Amazon. Yeah. Well, yeah, that's, I mean, you can, yeah, that's 25 bucks. That's, that's, that's like, you know, that's, that's an E it's, it's, it's a, it's a replica jackets. It's easier. I saw me buy an, um,
Speaker: You know, cause I got the Falco Jersey, Shane Falcon. It looks just like the Jersey from the movie. I got, I got a tweeters Jersey from varsity blues. You know, I want to get, I want to get Jersey. I'm wearing the jacket, but I'm not going to order until like three weeks before I leave for France, because if I buy it now, it's just going to hang in my closet. I'm going to get a new year.
Speaker: I know, I know you're a bit of a girl and you probably watch this that show that was on was on CW. It was the fuck was it called? It was a Richie Rich show. Uh, what was it? River Riverwood River. Oh, Riverdale. Um, Austin. It's based on the Archie comics. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: Uh, yeah, not, not Richie rich. Aren't you? When, when Austin was, when that first, when that show first come out, when Austin was young, she was obsessed. She loved that show. I think she sold us by the jackets and all she wanted was the one chick Southside serpents, the red one. Yep. Okay. When on Amazon and got it for like 50 bucks. Yeah. And she wore that damn thing. Like originally it was bought for Halloween costume, but then she wore that damn thing. We lived in Charleston.
Speaker: in the South where it was hot. She wore that some bitch every damn day until she grew out of it. I think we still have it to be honest with you. I think we still have it in this house because I watched that. I did watch like the first three seasons of that show, but like once it was like season four, it started and I started watching the show. Uh, it's not terrible. The problem I have with it is
Speaker: The one girl she plays, I think she plays Veronica. She is dressed to the nines. I'm talking Gucci though. She's dressed like a fucking Kardashian to go to high school. I don't have any idea what you're talking about. The only, the only thing I know about that show was Luke Perry was in it and he played one of the kids was dead and then Luke Perry died and then they, uh, show or something like that.
Speaker: And the only reason I know Luke Perry it was in it because I like really Perry but also Luke Perry I didn't like Luke Perry from 90210 I Like Luke Perry from eight seconds Which was the roadie Yeah, well about laying that scene. Oh, you want to hear a mother fuck chef? That seems still scared Dude, that movie was so great. And it was it's one of those. It's one of those few
Speaker: Hollywood movies that are based on true life and a true story. Perfect. That they didn't Hollywood up. Right. That movie. You're not a, you're not a wrestling fan. And again, speaking to our generation, especially the ladies out there, some of y 'all, I know y 'all love 90210. Luke Perry was the bad boy in 90210. His son.
Speaker: is famous. Really? Do you know why his son is famous? No, but I'm assuming you're going to tell me. Yeah, definitely. Because when his son, little, little Jack Perry was just a little, little lad because Luke Perry was a huge wrestling fan. They went to WrestleMania and little Jack Perry said, I'm going to become a wrestler one day.
Speaker: And if you go and look at AEW wrestling, you're going to come across a guy. Jungle Jack Perry. How he's changed his name now. I think he's just Jack Perry. He's not jungle boy anymore, but that is Luke Perry son. And before Luke died, I believe I think right before Luke died, he got to see his son wrestle on live TV.
Speaker: in a big arena with AEW wrestlers. I'm not mad at that. And I gotta be 100 % honest with you. Jack Perry isn't your stereotypical wrestler. He's not a big dude. He's not all muscled up and jacked up or anything like that. But he's fun to watch in the ring. And he continues to grow and get better. And now he's got kind of a heel gimmick.
Speaker: He told his dad he wanted to be a wrestler and Luke 100 % supported him and told him, if this is your dream, I'm gonna do everything I can to make sure you live it. And he continues to go on to this day, basically dedicating his entire career to his dad. But yeah, Jungle Jack Perry or Jack Perry and AEW Wrestling, that's Luke Perry's boy. And he's doing his damn thing. He's a hell of a wrestler, man. He's fun to watch in the ring. He is fun to watch in the ring.
Speaker: Well, a little trivia for you. Four yins. Four yins. Four yins. Not bad at that. Or as I say in Schitzberg, four yinsers. Sorry, I gotta play again. It's just too funny.
Speaker: Let's talk about buttered sausage. Talk about buttered sausage, where it comes from, what it does. Why is it doing what it's doing? Get it out of my face. What about buttered sausage? That's not your jam. It's not your thing. You don't like it? It's not my jam. I don't buy jam. I buy honey and I kiss it on the lips. I'm keeping that. We have to use that somewhere. I don't know why, but let's do it.
Speaker: And I kind of want to do toast and throw some butter all over sausage and eat it. Right? It's not my jam. It's not my jam. It's not my jam. I like it. I literally... My honey, and kiss it on his lips. I kiss it on his lips. 100 % not real. I'm so pissed that that's not real. You can tell by the picture of Busey that it's not real.
Speaker: it's a real picture of you see but yeah it's but it's made to say that weird stuff but i'm not mad at it it's not my jam it's not my jam not my next time so i'm instead of saying not my jam i was like it's not my jam i don't buy jam i buy honey
Speaker: Yeah, I'm not into that. I buy honey and I kiss it on the lips. What? What the **** You haven't seen the Derek Busey clip? Come on. That's fun. There's a cartoon. Just just just just like what I did to Nicky earlier. Put my head around the corner. Give me the Jeff and I are buying a penis museum. What exactly? And walk away. Yeah. It's not my jam. I buy honey and I kiss it on the lips. And then just walk away. We'll leave them.
Speaker: Bewildered Jeff this has been driving me crazy. Oh shit. Yeah What in the fuck does your shirt say hello, my name is my name is weirdo, oh, okay Weirdo, it's like sprinting spelled pedo wrong I'm trying to find there's a clip
Speaker: It was a clip, and it's a cartoon. The cartoon Gary Busey stared at the mirror. He's like, how do you know that Gary Busey? Do you love Gary Busey? What the fuck? What?
Speaker: There's a guy on tiktok that Nikki and I both really like and he does all these random tiktok recipes that he finds. His name is Cory B. Okay. You guys, if you don't know who he is, check him out. He's he's famous as fuck. He he's not famous. I'm fine and okay. Uh and now he does these
Speaker: videos on TikTok and his wife gets involved from time to time and whatnot. But one of my coworkers, she's got a TikTok and she, she started it during the pandemic and she's actually getting ready to get back into it. Her fucking TikTok, dude, I talked about earlier how fucking post the video, what she was cooking and made me hungry.
Speaker: I'm going to send you a clip here. Let me find it. So I told you guys I was going to get to those news stories about the flying and stuff. We'll do that Saturday. I promise you. I promise you Saturday in the first hour, I'm getting into the first hour, hour one. This is my coworker. I just sent it to you.
Speaker: but you just put it up on the screen. No, no, but I did want to show you that. How am I doing? Gary Busey. Well, if you take five and you had five and you had 10, you had 10 and you got 20, you got infinite kindness, you got infinite gratuity. Good. Then I'll keep it up. I'll keep it up.
Speaker: Yeah, it's a family guy cut
Speaker: to the podcast page, but I'm not on, so I'm not going to get the notifications. I haven't been on tiktok in like two weeks to be a hundred percent. I just, Oh, I've got a couple drafts saved in the podcast and the podcast tiktok that I want to post are pretty cool.
Speaker: They're uh, they're showcasing the belt because i'm the podcast champion of the world i'm the greatest podcast host of all time And and I have a belt to prove it and it's always on the line any goofy sons of bitches who want to come and challenge me for it I know you won't Because you're scared and you shouldn't be scared because i'm the greatest podcast host of all time If you smell what the click is cooking Wow, you just made a reference to your favorite person
Speaker: Finally, the Glick has come back. The Glick man coming. What? And that's the bottom line because Glick said so, you silly son of a bitch. If you want to see Glick stomp a mud hole in all these podcast hosts, give me a hell yeah.
Speaker: So this is loading. This is your co -worker. And drinking beers is what I do. What? So my boss and my co -worker and I were in a meeting together. And my boss was like laughing about one of the TikToks I did with the kid with the nose. And she was like, that's the funniest thing I've ever seen. And so my co -worker, Sam, said, oh, I have a TikTok. I was like, wait.
Speaker: You? The most serious person I know that I work with? You. These spinach artichoke zucchini bites are so delicious and easy to make. Cut up some zucchini, place them in a parchment paper. Chop up six marinated artichoke hearts. Shred some pecorino. I mean, I mean, that's just the first video I grabbed. Dude, like, she's got, she, she, she started turning into an egg and then stopped playing.
Speaker: I watched a couple of them and I'd like to say that this one I just kind of grabbed up at a random. Oh my God. I told her, I said, okay. I sent her a message after I watched a couple. I was like, okay, I'm coming to your house. Yeah. Yeah. So she just, so she just literally just does the look at my food. She doesn't actually, she's actually, well, she does. I think she had a YouTube channel that, uh,
Speaker: she did some videos for her and then tried to promote on TikTok and the food she makes looks good. And I'm like, I mean, I'm not going to fuck with cookies, but I'll have her cookies. Yeah. But I mean, it looked like it was pretty simple based off that real quick clip. Yeah. Well, that video was all the way through to eating it. And I'm not a big zucchini guy. Is she like sharing stuff on her TikTok or is it just showing her food? No. Well, the, the,
Speaker: The one, one of her videos has her eating something, but it's like a, like a boomerang kind of thing. I think I just copied one of her boomerangs from Instagram or something like that. But, uh, she's a sweetheart. She apparently can cook. How did this happen? Because it's not like I can just run over her house and have a cookbook. It's really not that hard to cook, especially if you've got recipes. I didn't say it was. I know. I know how to cook. I can cook.
Speaker: But I'd rather stand in line to take a bullet. Well, why? I mean, Nikki and I have had this conversation. Yeah, you know, like she went she went to the store today and she got now granted. She didn't get just dinner stuff, you know, but she went to the store and she got stuff for dinner tonight and tomorrow because kids go back to their mom's Friday. So we needed stuff for dinner tonight and tomorrow.
Speaker: uh but then she got like snacks and and and and a couple other miscellaneous things we needed and then a couple miscellaneous things that we really didn't need uh but she wanted them which is like it's not even that all all that important
Speaker: Yeah, everybody does that. And she was like, I spent $100 at the grocery store. And I was like, just on dinner for two nights. And she was like, well, no, but I mean, in all honesty, think of it this way. If we went to a restaurant, we're easily spending over $100 for one of them. Oh, yeah, definitely. Absolutely. I mean, there's no argument there. But we were eating dinner out there tonight. And
Speaker: You know, uh, she was like, eh, it was about $30 for this. And I was like, really? At the end of the day, it's not that bad because if we door dash, because I mean, when her bucks for five of you to eat without you, trust me, we have spent, we doordashed one time and, and, and it was just her and I, it was like $70. And before you judge, we didn't get anything. We didn't get.
Speaker: a lot of food. We didn't get you every time. Yeah, we have the dash pass. So there's no delivery fee or anything like that. But, you know, I ordered, I ordered a meal. I got steak and, and, and stuff like that. And then, um, you know, she got her meal and we ordered like, uh, you know, like an appetizer or, or, you know, like, like an app, like, I think we got two appetizers, but one of them was literally,
Speaker: chips in queso. Just because she wanted queso. And then we got another appetizer. So I mean, nothing, nothing, nothing more than what we would have ordered if we were actually in the restaurant. It was like 70 bucks to door dashing, you know, but I mean, so you just the two of us can spend 70 bucks. I mean, even our sushi, she door dash that because there was with our dash pass, there was
Speaker: I think it was like a 35 % discount or if you doordashed it and had it delivered. So our sushi that we got Monday, because that's like one of our things. I'm gonna say this, but then I'm gonna take this and steer it into another world. If you're in a relationship, listen to this.
Speaker: when, when, when she moved out here, whatever, we said, you know, we enjoy our Sundays when we don't have to do anything. And that's, and our Sundays are sushi and movie day. So whether we get sushi for dinner or sushi for lunch, and we just lounge around the house and have sushi nine times out of 10, we just go to Kroger's because believe it or not, Kroger's has
Speaker: the the the
Speaker: And you know, you can go to the deli and get like potato salad or whatever, or whatever. And it's made by the deli and it's made fresh. It's always fresh. Or you can go over to the deli section and they got like Yoder's potato salad, which is mass Purdue and stuff like that. So, you know, it's not like we're, it's not like we're, um, you know, it's a mass per day. You're just, you're good. You're, you're.
Speaker: You know, it's not affordable. No, but it's affordable as opposed to going to our ordering from a sushi restaurant. You know, eating at the Grover's, you might say a couple bucks. It also tastes good. Well, the sushi platter we get is like a sushi sampler platter. Okay. It's like $25. It's like $25. I mean, it's not terrible, but it's not cheap. But you know,
Speaker: So, I mean, it's, it's legit sushi. So, you know, like our Snapchat stories Monday, we, but we, there's so much, we like the California role. We like the Philly, the Philly role. We like the crunch rolls. We like, uh, here in Ohio, they have the Buckeye role. Um, and we, so that's why we had.
Speaker: 27 different freaking sushi. I do the same thing. We actually order from a place called sushi can, uh, and it's not on Uber eats or anything. It's not on door dash. Uh, they have delivery guys, you know, they got motorcycles and we order from them. But if you do it on a Thursday, it's two for one. Yeah. So you get one role and so basically cost us half the price. And, and I don't, I'm not a fish guy.
Speaker: But they got a beef roll. They're fucking awesome, baby. And then they got one. It's called, I think it's called the Apple Roll. And it's got meat and apple things. Really good. And I'll get four of those, you know, two beef rolls, two apple rolls, or a Hawaiian roll. And she gets what she wants. We'll get two shiagis, which are basically cheese on a stick.
Speaker: Um, and then they, they got a sushi -age dipping sauce. It's tartar sauce and ketchup mix. Oh, and then it comes with enough soy sauce grounded and like on rainy days, rainy Thursday, like if it's testing down rain, we, we, it sounds dumb, but what we do, we'll order a bunch of fucking sushi.
Speaker: and you know I'll take the umbrella out go get it from the fucking gate and we lock ourselves in the bedroom and sit down with kids eat sushi and watch harry potter or harry potter is fucking lame but okay but no so that that brings me to basically that brings me to my next subject is sundays
Speaker: You know, Nicki and I, we don't have the best luck with relationships. We've both been through the ring or with relationships. So, you know, with our relationship, know that about you. It's a fan of the show and know that about you. Absolutely.
Speaker: We'll never let you forget either. It's fine. We all make mistakes and, and, and, and, and like I said, I'll always be a firm believer and everything happens for a reason. Everything happens, you know, but also at the same time, I used to say, I used to say, Oh, excuse me. I used to say everything happens for a reason.
Speaker: people come into your life to teach you lessons. I'm beyond that. I'm beyond that. Now, some people come into your life to be mistakes. And that's what they are. I mean, at the end of the day, let's be honest, some relationships, some friendships come into your life and it wasn't to teach you a lesson. They were just a mistake that you made and you either learn from them or you
Speaker: you learn and grow or you don't learn and you continue to make the same mistakes. And for me, I was making the same mistakes. I wasn't, I wasn't learning from them and I was making the same mistakes. And, you know, as far as relationships go, I used to say, you know, everybody comes into your life to teach you a lesson to prepare you for the next step.
Speaker: But let's be honest, looking back on it, I made mistakes and they were mistakes. Mistakes that I probably knew better than to make, but I still made them regardless. Nonetheless, whatever the case may be, I have moved on. I have bettered myself. But when Nikki and I started dating, one of the things that we talked about was eight nights and stuff like that. And something as simple as just saying on Sundays, if she's off, I'm off on Sundays.
Speaker: It's going to be sushi and movie day during football season, just so you know. But I was waiting for the asterisk. The caveat. But but but she's also. But again, but like a date night in general, it doesn't necessarily have to be sushi. No, no, no. It's a date night. That's all right. And then and then we know we're going to end it.
Speaker: No, it's not necessarily patent -painted, but that's our thing. That's what her and I do. Right. If somebody else wants to do it, then fine. If you and your wife are off on Wednesdays or your girlfriend, you guys have Wednesdays off and you don't have kids or your kids aren't home. And that's when you want your sushi and movie night to be. But ours is Sundays if we're together and she doesn't have to work.
Speaker: And obviously the kids are gone on the weekends because they have problems. That's going to be our sushi and movie day where we just get a whole bunch of sushi, find a movie or something to watch. And we just chill out on the couch together. But it was also one of the other conversations where, you know, one day during the week, we should have a date night. Okay. And it doesn't happen every week.
Speaker: But if there's a day during the week that we're free, she's not working that evening. I'm not doing the podcast and it's like, Hey, you guys are on your own. We'll be back in an hour or two. And Nicki and I go out or Friday's like, she's not, if she's not working on a Friday night, generally I come home and it's like, let's go do something. Or she's like, Hey, let's go get dinner. That's our date.
Speaker: have to make that time to where you can still go enjoy each other, be in each other's company, and not let the repetitiveness or
Speaker: Well, you don't want to get stuck in a rut either. Yeah. You don't want, I can, can, contention, I guess is what I was looking for. Like, Oh yeah. At this point I've got you. You're locked in. You're not going anywhere. Now I can go back to my old ways. She can, you know, she can go back to her old ways. And like, you know, there's been several Fridays where it's like, you know, she doesn't, if she's not working, it's like, Oh, what do you, what do you, what do you, I'm like, Oh man, I gotta, I gotta come home and.
Speaker: I got to do podcast stuff. I know we can throw on one of our TV shows that we're watching, you know, whatever. And either her or I will be like, let's go get dinner. Let's go do some. Yeah. I'll do the podcast stuff tomorrow morning. I'll post up tomorrow morning. Let's, let's go do some, you know, which I think
Speaker: I think it was what I'm going to do Friday. She's not working. She said we're doing one thing, but I think I'm going to put the script on her and we're going to go do something totally different this Friday night because, and again, we do a lot of things together. I was talking to one of my, one of my customers today or tenants or whatever today. And, and I was talking about, you know, Nikki buying me the grill this year. And the one thing I want to do is smoke ribs.
Speaker: And she was like, well, why, why haven't you smoked? I said, cause I'm always busy on the weekends. And I do the podcast and I said, like last weekend we were in PA, we're home this weekend, but then the next weekend we're in, we're going to Pittsburgh because we're going to the Browns Pittsburgh Monday night game for a weekend. And then I'm working at Abercrombie. Uh, they got the challenge coming up. And if you guys are in Ohio, I don't know if you can still get
Speaker: the Abercrombie and Finch challenge. If you can get tickets, come and get tickets and come and come and find me and say hello. I'll be working security. Uh, you know, then I got the show. He just just looked for Harry and the Anderson's and I have one ask watch wearing a security t -shirt. I'm not hard to find. I promise you the Abercrombie crowd. I'm not hard to find. This isn't where's Waldo. I stand out.
Speaker: Trust me, I stand out like Gargamel with his first, I'm just saying. No disrespect towards the Abercrombie because I, you know, I've said this a million times. I'd love to live in the gym, but I just don't. If Abercrombie paid me more money, I would have never left. If they would pay me what I'm making now or more, I'd go, if they offered me a job,
Speaker: in a couple of weeks, I'd go back. I love the company. I love the company I'm with now. I have no intentions on leaving, but I would have never left Abercrombie if they could give me more money. Great company, great company, treat their employees amazingly. The benefits are stupid. Great people I got to work with. And the fact that every year since I've left, I still get invited back to come and work the A &E challenge or the A &F challenge. I'm sorry.
Speaker: the A &F Challenge and be a part of that fundraiser. It's a huge concert. It's a huge event. They raise money for the camps that they have for underprivileged kids and kids with special needs and everything like that. I love it and I'm very grateful. I love the fact that I'm still considered a part of the Abercrombie family. You're not gonna see me wearing Abercrombie clothes,
Speaker: I love the fact that I'm at the top of their list and I'm still a part of that family. Their clothes are comfy though. Their clothes are incredibly comfy and they have changed a lot. I have several things by Abercrombie in my closet and I love wearing them. They're super comfy. But just the fact that I get to be considered a part of that family still after being gone for four years now. And this is my fifth challenge I think I'm working.
Speaker: you know, I love it. And like I said, if the money was there, Cody never left. I would have never left great company, great people. But, um, you know, so I got that going on. And then the, then the, then the weekend after that, we're going to jelly roll. Oh, we probably won't have a show Saturday night unless Jeff does that on his own. Yeah. Since I fired our other co -hosts or stuff.
Speaker: somebody who wants to do the show with him. But, but, and then we come back home and then like a couple of weeks later, it's like Jason Aldean for my birthday. That's on a Thursday night. So I'll be back for Saturday night to talk all about the Jason Aldean concert, which is going to be awesome because not only am I going to be representing Jason Aldean on my shirt, but I'm also going to be representing the nonsensical nonsense.
Speaker: the the the the
Speaker: Anyways, it was like a whole roundabout way to go on to say like, I don't have time. I'm on the weekends to smoke some ribs, but I want to, but at the same time, at the same time, I'm also busier in the last, um, nine months.
Speaker: that Nikki and I have been together with doing things and adventuring and having date nights and spending time with her and going out and not always being at the house. And I have been in the last 20 some years of my life. We're taking all these fucking adventures together and doing all these things together. And it's like, and
Speaker: In a relationship you guys gotta like y 'all gonna have that man you you gotta have that Spontaneous like she thinks one things happen in Friday, but I hate to break it to her Something else totally different is happening Friday. We're doing something else. I like we're not doing what we initially talked about Friday We're gonna do something totally different. I don't know what it's gonna be yet. I don't know what's gonna be it I know it's Wednesday, but we get a fucking I mean you can't just eat something like that. Okay, I
Speaker: We can literally just go to a new restaurant and go to a new bar I agree That's one of the reasons why we we have decided to move to France because the problem with Cancunas I've lived here for 22. There's not a bar worth going to that. I haven't been to There's not a restaurant worth going to that. I haven't been to
Speaker: there's not a thing to do in this town that I haven't already done like five times. So I think that's kind of the main draw of Europe. You know, there's not a whole lot to do day to day as, as a local in, in, in Mexico, whether it be in, in any part, like, you know, yeah, if we, if we went to Mazatlan, which is clear on the other side of the fucking country,
Speaker: We'd there'd be, there'd be new things to do. But I can do it all in like six months. Yeah, exactly. It's like past and it's literally going to be the same stuff here, just in a different location. So the concept of, and that's kind of what's drawing, drawing us towards moving to Europe is like you said, you know, you're, you're talking about mixing it up on Friday by going to a different place. I can make it up like,
Speaker: let's go to fucking Eiffel Tower to spin off the top or let's go to the fucking lube today or let's fucking let's jump on the fucking bike and we'll go to Germany it's only four hours you know or let's go to fucking Switzerland if only else you know whatever um you know I think in in three hours time from Paris I could be in London and at Harry Potter Studios
Speaker: Yeah, it's not something I'm do all the time. Well, I might but but you know not and that of course that's something we take kids to but but it's like There's so much to do That here no, no, there's nothing there's nothing there and this town changes But it's like every five years
Speaker: Like the newest thing they're doing here is they're building a train, like an actual train that goes up the Riviera Maya. Well, the Riviera Maya is where all the hotels and, you know, Cancun, Playa Del Carmen, Portobrellas and all that stuff. It's, it's a total, like if I drive, if I drive all the way to Playa Del Carmen, it's only a 45 minute drive. But the traffic is fucking nightmare.
Speaker: you know, so the train, you can do the whole thing in 15 minutes. I get it. Okay. I, if I get on that train ever, I don't care. It's not, it's not like it's going to be, Oh, this is amazing. No, it's not. It's a fucking train. You know, um, the islands here, there's only one place in Cancun close to Cancun that I haven't been.
Speaker: No, that's not true. I've been to Cosmo. There's only one tour I haven't done in the Jeep tour to Cosmo, in Cosmo, where you actually drive a fucking four -wheel drive Jeep. But it's not like, it's not like you're driving over, it's not like you're going mud running or driving through the door. You drive on the fucking road, big fucking Jeep. Exactly. You know, I don't care. So, that's,
Speaker: Like I said, the main draw for us moving to France, of course, the the the cheapness of buildings, like I can buy cheap. Yeah, exactly. So it's actually actually we're sitting here talking about this and I'm literally because. I just seen.
Speaker: Let's see how much tickets are. Oh, for Friday? No, but like they're here and it sounds dumb even to say it, but one of my favorite things to do here is to go to Chitinique. Well, Chitinique is a fucking pyramid. It's one of seven more in the world, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker: Uh, what is it? Like 10 years ago, you were allowed to climb to the top of said period. Now you are not allowed. So I don't want to go no more. Uh, because it's one of the seven, one is the world that went preserve and all this stuff. What's really cool about, if you stand in front of the pyramid, you stand in front of the pyramid and you clap.
Speaker: The echo reverberating off the steps makes the sound of a fucking eagle. It's fucking weird. It's cool. It's a great place. It's a great place to go and visit. It's, you know, culture and all that stuff. But I've been 15 times. Do I really need to fucking go again? I know every time I go there, I know just as much as the tour guide.
Speaker: So I don't even follow the tour guide anymore. I just kind of do my own thing. But the biggest problem with going to Tsitsitsa is, it is a four hour trip. One way to get there. And then four hours back. So you spend a total of like, I think it's two hours at the Tsitsitsa site and spend an hour and a half eating. It was an hour eating and then an hour and a half at the Shinote, which is the cave of water.
Speaker: I've done it like 15 times. I don't need to do it again. Moving to France is the opportunity to see new things, do new things, find something new that I like. And if that just so happens to be going to the bar, then I'm going to the bar. Going to the bar here, it's not like a bar, like where you guys are, where Chris is, where I can
Speaker: go up to the bar, you know, sit, have a drink, have a snack and stuff like that. Because the bars here are clubs. It's spring break and, you know, I'm not that guy. Just not. So it's cool when you, like, if I were to take Chris with me to go to Coco Bongo or one of the clubs here, it'd be, that would be more fun than going by myself. She just looked at me and I was like,
Speaker: Watching the reaction like I was saying I was saying that Going to the bars here It's not like a bar like what you're talking about What you're talking about is you go in you can sit in the booth have a conversation to have a couple drinks here. It's all clubs So it's the whole time. I'm not that guy anymore. I wasn't a guy in my fucking 20s I went there because I can get laid but it's like
Speaker: The only joy I would get going to those clubs now would be like taking you to watch your reaction. Because one, Coco Bongo, they have canisters of air. Well, they have jets of air in the bar. And as girls would dance on the bar, they hit the jet of air and skirts rise and it's hilarious. So watching your reaction to that would be fucking funny.
Speaker: Like I took my dad, I took my parents, my parents, you know, my mom and dad, not that, not those people. I took my parents to go to Bongo. My dad and I are standing over in the, we had a table. Now the table we're sitting at has no chairs. It's just a raised table. So you stand at it. Dad and I are standing next to each other. My mom's having a blast dancing and my wife's dancing. And above us,
Speaker: They have a stage that's above everybody and they have a little outcome of the stage where, where they close the curtain when there's not a show going on and they grab chicks and they're like, Hey, you want to dance up here in the, in the little stage? So the whole bar could see you. Yeah. Okay. This girl gets up there. She's literally a perfect 10 model and gorgeous. And she's wearing a little bitty sundress.
Speaker: She got her hands up in the air and they hit that little jet and her dress came off. She had nothing on but her shoes. And I looked at my mom and I was like, I am so sorry. And my mom's like, oh my God, that's disgusting. I looked at my dad and he's taking a sip of his beer and goes, not a bad bar. It was my day off.
Speaker: I was like, I guess we're going to the bar on my day off. And, you know, so I got VIP area and all that stuff. My dad just, just nonchalantly, not a bad bar. I kind of like your job, dude. It's the funniest thing I've ever seen. Nice perks you got, boy. Yeah. I mean, this chick was beautiful. And it's, you know, not uncommon.
Speaker: Here's the crazy thing, dude. This is where you and I differ. Every, every story that you like, anything, every story you say, this, that, and the other thing, and I'm not crapping on it. You don't like, don't, don't get it twisted. I get it. Always revolves. Here's the thing.
Speaker: It's like, like, for instance, Friday night or Thursday night, I'm sorry. Thursday, Thursday into Thursday night, we went out to celebrate her friend's birthday. Right. All got drunk. Her dad came and picked us up. I'll send you the Snapchat. Her dad came and picked us up like nine 30. We come back to his house. We were hanging on the garage drinking me, Nikki. Her dad was out there for a little bit. Then one of her friends come out.
Speaker: Like her dad was like, come over here and take a picture. So like him and I took a picture together. Right. I probably had just as much enjoyment as you, as you and your pops did see him some chicks. What's really cool about Coco Bongo. Yeah. Shit like that happens where they, they hit the air and it lifts up the chicks skirt. But.
Speaker: They also do what? The reason why my parents wanted to go to that bar is they do shows and the shows only last like a minute or two or three minutes or something like that. And I like, they'll do a big Beatles tribute. They'll do kiss or they'll do, uh, they got, I think there's a total of, uh, 135 shows and they do about 25 a night. So I give a night, you're not going to see the same show. You go every night of the week and eventually see them all.
Speaker: and some of them they only do during holidays. Like the fucking Spider -Man show? Spider -Man is literally swinging around the room. It's hilarious. They do... Okay. A terrible movie. The movie Tron. The Tron Show? I love the show, but I hate the show for the simple fact I watch the show, Tron, at Kokomago. I go home and I go, I want to watch the Tron.
Speaker: And then I watched Ron and I'm depressed because he's a terrible one. But they got people bungee jumping from the ceiling. It's fucking insane. Like they do kind of a trapeze kind of bungee jump thing. It's really cool. They're wearing all black suits that are black light painted. So they reflect in the black lights and stuff. It's a really cool concept. And you know, 90 % of the time it's a
Speaker: regular club, you're dancing, you're drinking, you have a great time, and then all of a sudden the musical stops and fucking Batman swings out kicking Bane's ass. It's kind of cool. Which is why I wanted to take my parents because my mom loves shit like that. And I've seen this every show they have like 14 million times because I worked there, but
Speaker: When I go, like if I took you and Nikki to that club, during the show, I would not be watching the show. I'd be watching your reaction. Because that's what I find funny. Because as Spider -Man is flying around, you and anybody watching that hasn't seen it before is like, holy fuck, is that fucking Spider -Man? It's hilarious. You know, or like they do the Moulin Rouge show.
Speaker: And they have, you know, they have the dancer girls dressed up like Christina Aguilera and Lil Kim and all that stuff. And, you know, they're, they're throwing out fake money for that Lil Kim where Lil Kim's doing her part. The girl throws out fake money. It's, and people fucking freak out about that fake money. And they're, they're actually Coco Bongo dolls where like, uh, it gives you 50 cents off the price of a t -shirt at the fucking,
Speaker: door. What's what's the cocoa bongo dollars do? They give you their they give you discounts at the store, the cocoa bongo store, like you can buy and even use it to buy like drinks or food. No. No, because because once again, you already paid to get in its open bar all night. At four o 'clock in the morning,
Speaker: that shows, sorry, three o 'clock in the morning, the show stopped. If you, if you, I don't know. It's the same Disney goddamn story. Some weird pedophile falls in love with some underage girl, takes her back to his village or his ship and does whatever the hell he wants. Regardless, I'm right. And you're worried about a fish. Sorry. What? Apparently, the fucking John Smith from Pocahontas, I said,
Speaker: She was literally like 12. Yeah. Well, we did it. We don't know about that. Yeah. I'm just saying.
Speaker: What's going on with you Walt Disney and children you really oh You think I'm done with you Walt Disney you think I'm done shitting on you. Oh, I ain't gonna get you pedophile Lisa's great Tommy like The cool thing about
Speaker: It costs. I think it's. What the hell is that? What the hell is the cat's name in Little Mermaid? The cat. The dude. Oh, the guy. Little Mermaid. You say Little Mermaid, I think cartoon. I'm like, talking cat. I don't remember that. No, the pedophile in the Little Mermaid is the prince. What's his name? Prince. Is it Cassian? No, that was Narnia.
Speaker: I have no idea what I'm talking about. I'm not done with you Walt Disney. Who's the guy in Little Mermaid? Prince Eric. No, Prince Eric. I'm taking you down. I'm team Ronnie D Disney. Ronnie DeSantis. Oh, okay. Don't go under and cost like 65 bucks. It's 65 bucks to get in.
Speaker: But it's all you can drink all night until 3 a .m. Club opens at 10. Bro. Bro. The open bar stops at 4. The show stopped at 2. And at 6 a .m., they turn the lights on and say, you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. You just don't stop at 2 and I could drink for another two more hours after I pay 65 bucks to get in.
Speaker: I mean dude and that's that's the most expensive bar 65 bucks all you can drink all night. I think I can take you over to senior frogs Just right across the street. I think it's 35 or 40 bucks. I said Where do they go to senior frogs? Was that Charleston or Florida? I might have been Charleston. I think they got senior frogs Yeah senior frogs is everywhere
Speaker: What's the other one? They got one, it's called, they have Daddy Rock. Daddy Rock here is, it's literally rock and roll all night. So it's like, they have, they use, well, when I worked there, they had a live band every night except for Monday nights. And they all do. It's the same live band every night. It's a house band, but they play some great songs. And then when the band takes a break, you know, regular music,
Speaker: through the DJ place. They have, well, now they have Daddio. Daddio is a, it's hip hop most of the night. The best club in town used to be called, well, what's it called? It's not, it went away 14, like 12 or 13 years ago.
Speaker: But one side was pop and rock and roll, and the other side was hip -hop. I actually met Eminem in there. It was me and Eminem were the only white guys in that area. It was kind of weird at first. Okay, it's what we would have done. Fuck, what was it called? I can't remember the name of the club. What?
Speaker: And then of course you have like at they have slices, slices is kind of like an open bar concept. Like you can see everything from the street, but they also have, they have an open bar and it's like 15 bucks. Oh, you can drink. Then they got low, but Keaton, which is kind of the same thing, just bigger. They're, they're more, you know, they, they just do the music.
Speaker: Yeah, I mean crazy shit happens because if you go on to YouTube and put Cancun nightlife Yeah, it's not for kids like no Really guys there are guys there are locals that literally get off work and literally hang out on the sidewalk outside of these bars just to see what happens and I'm like you guys need to like
Speaker: Well, I mean craziness at the end of the day, I mean, um, the nightlife in general is not meant for kids. You know what I mean? Well, the rule is like,
Speaker: Cocobongo is completely closed. You can't see what's going on unless you're inside. Yeah. So like they have a wet t -shirt contest. Well, they call it the hot body contest. Yeah. Um, where they'll grab contestants and you win, you can win like a hundred bucks if you win. And you know, these chicks go, they got a hot leg contest. Um, but those are enclosed. The clubs are outside.
Speaker: They can literally get in trouble if some, if some rando chicks decide to flash the crowd. I mean, it still happens. Just, purity's all over, right? You can't do that, you know? But inside the fucking Coca -Bongo and, and Daddy -O, oh my god. See, they're bronze, and I saw a couple having sex on the bar. I mean, they were trying to be discreet, but, I mean, it was kind of obvious.
Speaker: She's got her head tilted back, her arms, legs wrapped around, dude. They're standing really close together. And I'm like, hmm, I think they're fucking. I mean, it happens. But once again, I've spent 20, almost 20, look, this year is 21 years here. Almost 22 years here. Do I really need to spend more time?
Speaker: I mean, there's nothing to do here. I've seen it all. I've seen all can't do that song. And, and now being 42 years old, going to the bar with a bunch of 20 year olds, that's, that's a bad look, dude. That's a bad look. That's a creepy look. Granted, granted, because I'm small, I could get away with like, I'm not 20. Sure you are. Great beard. Get the fuck out of here.
Speaker: if I shave. You can't really, you can't really judge a gray beard on your age because like a pops, there's pictures of him in the military at 18 years old and he was salt and pepper. Right. But for me, if I go to, if I like, if my wife's like, Hey, let's go to the fucking club tonight. She loves to fucking dance. She doesn't drink. She's not a drinker.
Speaker: If I go to the club with her, I'm going to come home because I sit at the end of the bar and I think that's what I do. Or I'll, if I want to change it up, I'll drink white Russian, but it's one of those things where if I go to the bar, if we go to the bar, white Russians, are they really, or are you just trying to be the dude? No, they are. No, they're actually, I actually enjoy the thing.
Speaker: But yes, I did get hooked on them because of the people. But if we go to the bar, you know, and you know, as you're sitting there at the end of the bar drinking beer, as you do, as I do, you know, you can actually look around at the crowd, you see the people on stuff. It's a creepy look! At least that's how I feel.
Speaker: 90 % of the chicks in there, especially during spring, right? Are in their twenties. You know, they're between 18 and 25. Well, Jeff, if we know anything about you, probably get away with dating a 25 year old, but creepy look. Again, Jeff, if we know anything about you, we know that you like them young. I get that. But my wife's 30. She's not 20.
Speaker: What do you fucking say to a 25 -year -old? I'm not prepared to talk about your fucking Pokemon forge. We know you like to hang out at the preschool. No, not anymore. I'd much rather go to the bar like you guys do. But the bars like that here are shitholes. That wouldn't be called dead.
Speaker: I mean, I don't do it. There's a reason why I enjoy the quote unquote Dive bars or the hole in the wall bars. Oh, I don't mind a hole in the wall but This is like a hole in the hole in the hole of the wall. Yeah That's my spot
Speaker: No, I get what you're saying. A hole -in -the -wall bar is OK. What I'm talking about is not a hole in the wall. This is like, it could be somebody's house. It's like, I don't want to be here. Almost uncomfortable. Now, the only bar I used to go to, there's a bar called Lata Verna, where they got a pool table. It's kind of an Irish,
Speaker: hub style bar. But the area it's in, I don't like going to. Because as you leave, you got everybody and their brother just falling. Come into our bar, fuck you. That's my biggest problem with Cancun is like in the hotel zone, it is the only place in Cancun that you can literally walk around with beer in your hand.
Speaker: They don't have an open standard law in the hotel zone. Which would be great for you, trust me. You literally leave the hotel with an open beer, no big deal. Downtown, obviously, it's a no -no. But the bars downtown are just, they're not my bag. They're trying to be the club in the hotel zone, but for locals, I don't wanna.
Speaker: Well, it's it's beyond that time, but I was trying to I'm trying I was trying to buy tickets for this. Chris did so. At Easton. Which is a huge outdoor shopping area. Yeah, yeah, they got a funny bone there comedy club. Nice, so this Friday night, which is kind of what made me decide to
Speaker: Do a Friday night out and get a hotel room because I want us both to have fun I want us both to eat. I want us both to drink and have a good time One of my favorite comedians I love this dude Christopher Titus
Speaker: Oh, I love you. I'm so fucking jealous. So I love watching some of him on TikTok today that he's a certified comedic legend. I love this dude. I love his stories because he come from a broken home. And I'm you know, like I relate with the story. The story of I don't know. Have you ever seen the tightest show? Let me go grab a beverage.
Speaker: Oh my God, dude, the story of Chris Titus talking about the difference between parents now and the parents when he was a kid, and he's like stopping parents nowadays, they snack, snack, snack the kid's hand. Don't do that. Okay, yeah, I get it. But back in the day, my dad was like, go ahead, put that pen in the lights. Go ahead, go ahead. Wait, wait, watch. Here he goes. He's gonna do it.
Speaker: He learned something, didn't he? No, he is hilarious. I literally watched a clip of him today of him talking about... Chris Titus is a car guy, too. Like, he's a huge car guy. So, I'm 100 % in. Oh, I'm so... Oh, I'm jealous. Damn it. A mildly dope.
Speaker: that's oh I'm fucking in now pissed I need to find
Speaker: I saw earlier today that I lost it.
Speaker: I am sending it So I'm a man he just fucking walks away
Speaker: Why would Chris come back to this? For those of you who don't know, this is Christopher Titus. I'm going to play a clip. If you want to see the clip, go ahead and jump on our YouTube channel. Remember that first car you had, guys? That horrible one, man? But you bought a fire extinguisher mounted inside because it looked so high performance, but also because you really needed a fire extinguisher.
Speaker: Because you've done some wiring by yourself, now when you hit the blinker, the windshield wiper started up, and you left it like that so you didn't screw something else up, you're like, no, it works, watch, I'm going that way, I'm going that way, I'm going that way. You spent all that money on that stereo, that really nice stereo, but you couldn't figure out how to mount it, so it just sat on the passenger seat for three months, wires snaking out of the dash, ran out of electrical tapes, you used clear tape, which was a bonus, because then on Friday night, when you're hanging with your buddies, you could roll joints to the sparks coming off the dash.
Speaker: Sorry, Larry. No, I figured as much. No, I had to get my credit card because I needed because I'm buying the tickets right now. So I had to get my I had to get a number off the back of my credit card. Oh, what are you doing to me?
Speaker: Damn it all to hell. So no, I went out there and Nicky's like, what are you doing? I said, Jeff and I still talk and I got to grab my credit card. And she's like, why do you got to get every credit card? I was like, Oh, I need numbers and stuff. And I said, so buying the tickets. Um, just tell me a little did.
Speaker: Oh man, I really hope I don't have to do this dance again. Noice! Noice! Can you get them? Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on
Speaker: I think those numbers are going to do nobody any good. Confirming. That is confirmed. Two tickets. God damn you. While you're doing that, I have another Chris Titus clip. I have to play. This is funny.
Speaker: Do you people that don't have kids you think you've been angry in your life that's adorable
Speaker: I'm not saying you've never been angry, I'm just saying. Your normal single non -kid anger is a 10 here. When you have a child, it's like adding a four -inch layer of bitter frustration icing that smells like almonds and tastes like aneurysm. And you can't do anything because the little kids just can't remember your little kids and you can't meet them in the face because the laws are different now. My dad didn't have those laws, that's why I'm not symmetrical.
Speaker: I love me some Chris Titus, dude. Dude, his show. Did you get him? Friday, September 8th. 10 -15. I don't like buying stuff online. I'm so nervous. I'm not fucking rolling.
Speaker: I was at Columbus funny well. I hate buying shit online. I do too. I get so nervous. Almost like you're doing something naughty.
Speaker: Yeah, that's how jealous I am Seriously, I would love to see Chris Titus in person
Speaker: I don't know what I do. I don't know what I do. I don't know what I do. Baby. Help me. I need you.
Speaker: I wish I could find that clip. He did a clip that I watched today. I just gotta find it.
Speaker: I do want to apologize to a group of people I have been mocking for a long time. Millennials and Gen Z. I've been making fun of them for their participation trophies and their helicopter parents. I had to make them learn like saxophone and Chinese by the time they were two. And then they had puppy rooms because they have anxiety. And now they're all older. They have the facial hair of a Civil War reenactor. They look like they joined a barbershop quartet.
Speaker: You'll be stopped.
Speaker: I realized something recently, if you're in a millennial or Gen Z, you've lived through the worst 30 years in modern American history. Imagine being a Gen Z, oh my God, born in 96. Oh yeah, you're a little kid, now it's 99, you're three, and your parents are like, you're gonna go to school next year, you ready? Yeah mom, I can't wait, I just watched the Columbine Massacre on television. I'm gonna need a couple things.
Speaker: I'd like a bulletproof backpack. I also want to open carry a Glock 16, so if I get messed with on the kickball field, I can stand my ground. You know, I'm kind of not mad at it. It looks like Chris is... Yeah, there is. I was going to say, it looks like Chris is interested with shit again. Chris Titus, oh my God.
Speaker: I would love to see him in concert. I think it'd be amazing. He, I've yet to see a joke. He does this. You're talking about targets. Yeah. My, my answer was crushed again. I assumed as much. I'm old and I'm scared and I'm trying to get my fiance to come back here and help me. Cause I don't know what they do. Hey, I don't buy stuff online myself.
Speaker: I don't I tell the wife I want this order, please. I'm so I'm I'm so old and weird and country like Here's what it is. You know the person like literally dude when it went out when we were having that I was like, okay Columbus funny bone Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah two tickets. It's paid. It's it's okay. Okay. Okay I You know show for 945
Speaker: We're both going to be feeling tipsy. We're both going to be ready to have some fun amount paid blah, blah, blah. You know, I'm like, okay. Okay. So do I, do I print the tickets, which I have a printer out there and it's linked up to my phone or do I just download the tickets and then they can scan them. I don't know what to do. Yeah. I don't know. Here's my thing. If I order something online and buy somehow I fuck up.
Speaker: and you know get the wrong ticket or or something extra that i don't need or spend extra money that i don't need i know i'm gonna get yelled at so i literally say honey i want that please get it for me yeah honey here's the card please order because it is i'm not as dumb as i sound most times
Speaker: I consider myself a mildly intelligent person. I may not know everything, but when it comes to ordering stuff online, I'm out. I don't know. Nope. Nope. Nope. No, honey. Absolutely. As dumb as I look and sound when it comes to ordering online. Oh, a hundred percent. A hundred percent because I'm going to get the, I'm going to, you know, the extended warranty. I want all the bells and whistles. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Speaker: And my wife's like, I'm like, you have to, because that's, you know, it's the next part. No, you don't. What, what? No, you don't have to actually click yet. Oh, really? I just spent an extra 50 bucks. You know, I don't know. I don't know what to do, but I'm super excited to go to secret to a tiny Saturday that much. I'll tell you all about a Saturday.
Speaker: Dude, I'm going to be hungover and feel like ass Saturday night. I'm going to need you to wear this. Emotion! No, damn it! Yes, you will. You will 100 % need me to cover this. Carry this out. I'm here. I got you.
Speaker: I have like more liquid IVs in me as we speak still not helping. I literally have liquid IVs in me and each are still not helping. I'm just thinking about it is Nikki's job is is is where we're going. It's literally it's literally right outside of the funny bone is literally
Speaker: two minutes away from like I'm playing in all this so we can park in the garage and we can walk even to the point where like Nikki said, why are you going to come home? I have to work Saturday. I'll meet you there. We can get checked into the hotel. You can shower and everything at the hotel bed. She'll pack your bag and you'll have everything you need there or pack it back before you leave for work. Yeah, exactly. I was like, that's what I told her. I said, okay, so I'll throw clothes.
Speaker: stuff, stuff for Saturday or Friday night and something to sleep in, which I'll wear Saturday. I'll be a bum. I don't care. Whatever. And it was like, okay, actually she's right. And again, she's smarter than I am. So that makes so much more sense because we'll get up. We'll check out of the hotel, go get lunch, go get breakfast. We can actually go where she works and gets lunch and whatever.
Speaker: and eat and then she can go to work and I can come home and do whatever I need to do to get ready for the show. I'll, I'll, I'll post episodes Saturday before the show and watch college football. And let's be honest, Michigan's playing again, Saturday. I'll be watching college football, speaking of football, Jeffrey already fucking people up. Check your life.
Speaker: I had to check my lineup. I had a receiver in two leagues. That is not playing in week one, so I had to find a replacement. I'm still coming at your ass golf, huh? Because my quarterback got clear, he's he's ready to go in week one. I think you're good, Jeff. I looked at your squad. I think you don't have to worry about injuries. I think you're good to go, but you have a much better chance of beating me.
Speaker: Now actually wait, there's a little red thing next to Ingram. He's he's. Oh no, he's already got point. Yeah, the games don't start until there's like a little little red asterisk and not asking the little red screenshot. I'm afraid to. I'm afraid to. I'm afraid to move away from the screen.
Speaker: until I get, until I get help from Nikki. Like I'm literally about to go plug my printer in just because I know as soon as I plug it in, it'll link up to my phone and I'm just going to print the tickets off. Dad, I'm 17 and I had to jack up a car. What have we learned?
Speaker: The cars are heavy. Er... Car's still heavy, boy. Could we stop the mocking and humiliation till I get out from under the car?
Speaker: I don't know the name of the guy that plays his dad. I love that goddamn show, man. I love that. I've seen every single episode. I think I've watched the show like three times. Jeff, do me a favor. Yeah. Where can we stream that show? Oh, I can get you a link. No, don't give me a link. Cause it's,
Speaker: It was on Fox. So I'm assuming you could stream it on Hulu. I'm actually going to look right now. It is. So. I don't see. Yeah, it was originally Fox show. I don't see where it's streaming anywhere. Oh, OK, I'll find it. Anywho, Jesus Christ. What's that?
Speaker: That's who played his dad. Who? Stacey Kosh. K -A -C -A -C -H. That's who played his dad. I didn't realize the name was Stacey. I don't know. Anyway, it's Wednesday. This show's gone over four hours. It's Wednesday. We have to end the show. I have to work in the morning. I have to get up and take my kids to school in the morning. Do I have appointments for that? Sorry for being randomly weird and spontaneous. Gentlemen.
Speaker: Men if you're in a relationship What I just what just happened tonight take notes Women love it and they appreciate it and they get excited happy just out of nowhere just in conversation me and Jeff tonight I Grabbed my phone and looked at something just because I thought this would be a good idea and
Speaker: And I just I just did it and and and now Nikki's excited. She's looking forward to it. She's ready. You know, and not to be that guy, but ladies. All men wear size blowjob. Just saying. Let's be honest, I mean. As much as I get shit.
Speaker: I'm right. Don't lie. Men. Just so you know. If you want said blowjob, be spontaneous. Well, you're spontaneous, but men. Roll reversal. All ladies, if you know what you're doing, they enjoy a little snorkeling. Well, appreciate it. They will appreciate the snorkeling, if you know what I mean. Timing for oysters is never a bad thing.
Speaker: that's the only claim I eat. I'm not even fair. Reciprocation. Reciprocation. I've met all us men and loved ones but damn some of y 'all. I'm going to say it because most people won't say it. You gentlemen will last. You're absolutely lacking. Y 'all scared of it. I get down in there. This
Speaker: You go down on her first because if she goes down on you first, you ain't gon' be worth shit now. Well, not everybody. I'm a, I'm a rare breed, but stopping and scared of it. Stop being a skirt. Shit. I get done. I get done when she smacks me on the head and says, if you don't fucking stop and then I come up and this glory, this glorious beard has made fun of so much on this podcast. But when I get done, it's fucking drip. I mean, dripping.
Speaker: You're ripping. It's not even a brag. It's not even a flex. You're ripping to the point where I can literally do this. Like I said, I have a particular set of skills. My dick is small, but my tongue, my tongue game is strong.
Speaker: I'm just speaking of, um, we didn't address today. Oh, it just kind of hit me. Um, we didn't address companies no longer remember the show. No. Uh, uh, smash mouth. Smash mouth. Yeah. There was a lot of musical deaths this week. Oh, we weren't talking about shitting on Tony D.
Speaker: Before anybody gets it twisted, I know there's a few of y 'all still, so hang out and listen to it. I'm not shitting on Tony D. Tony's got some personal shit going on. Tony D is also continuing to make decisions that negatively affect him.
Speaker: I love the cat. I love the dude to death. I love him like a bro. You know, I'm still going to support his fantasy show. If he, if he'll have me on it, I'll be on it. Um, you know, I'll tell you guys to check out his music show, anything like that. He's just not a part of the show anymore. I love Johnny to death. He's got to get his personal life in order and he's got to get some other stuff in order.
Speaker: But I'm tired of the infighting. I'm tired of the, I'm tired of the passive aggressive comments made from him about this show. And only one. And I'll say it out loud. Uh, he said, well, I'm here for the money. Uh, this is the only show that you're on dude. It's not even that, but at the end of the day,
Speaker: There's a lot of fair weather fake ass people that only show up when he's here. And there's also somebody, one person in particular that I've never done anything but show love to. I've known this cat for several years. He don't even come around unless Tony's here and that's not cool to me. So let it be known.
Speaker: Tony is not a member of this show, but if he ever says, hey guys, can I come on? He can come on. Come on whenever he wants, but he's not a part of the show anymore. This show has gone back to its roots with me and Jeff doing what Jeff and I do. Connor will eventually be joining us. Steven Jarvis will eventually be joining us.
Speaker: Um, and then if down the roads, we find somebody else that wants to fill that shirt, that third chair, then so be it. But at the end of the day, and I've told this to Jeff and I've had this conversation with Jeff. So don't think I'm single and Tony out. It's time to step up. It's time to step to fuck up. So I love Tony to death. I'll still continue to promote everything he does.
Speaker: Is his fantasy football show his music show he's welcomed here anytime But I'm sorry, I'll be the asshole. It is what it is. I don't fucking care Tired of the passive aggressive comments. I'm tired of the snide remarks I'm tired of the goofy shit, especially when at the end of the day You
Speaker: Tony bro. I love you and I'm saying this is a fucking man to another man You're stuck in the same fucking stupid ass circles doing the same fucking stupid ass things while we continue to grow We continue to grow here I Don't even call this show our show anymore and Jeff and I've had this conversation. This is my show Well, it's not even a joke anymore. It's my show This is my fucking show
Speaker: everything I do is me. And it's not me taking a shot at Jeff or anything like that. Jeff has been like, yeah, dude, you've been to it a lot of years. Like, and I'm not carrying my weight. Jeff has said these words to me as I'm in just not disagreeing with me. Cause he's afraid of me or anything like that. Trust me. I've learned Jeff for 25 years and not afraid of much.
Speaker: If there's a motherfucker alive that will absolutely 100 % square up with me, even though he knows the outcome, it would be Jeff. I get my, I get my, depending on what I have in my hands. We got for a break, a car. I still run with the line. I still run with the line from America's green graffiti.
Speaker: Jeff's going to show up and be like, I'm about to whoop your ass. Click. But I brought some friends along. Let me introduce you to my black bear. This is Frank. And this is my kangaroo, Bob. I don't see anywhere streaming. There's, uh, it says Amazon, but that's literally Amazon website where you can buy the series on. Yeah. But now, like I said, you know, I've been killing myself trying to make something out of this show.
Speaker: And It is what it is man the end of the day, you know Mike's not here. Nothing personal Mike and I talk Not regularly, but we still talk which else to chat and I'll tell you this right now what Mike and I do chitchat and
Speaker: multiple times during the conversation. I love you, bro. I hope things are going good, man. I love you. Cause I do nothing against Mike, but you know, personal life and choose your own path, man. Choose your path. Yeah. Choose what you think is going to be best for you. It probably ain't choose what's going to be best for you. I've been down that road. I've been at that crossroad.
Speaker: And I've taken the wrong path multiple times. But damn, and I'm going to address it Saturday night in the very beginning of the show, I'm going to address the same shit Saturday. I didn't do it tonight because. And shout out to you, Jeff, multiple times when I started to go that way, you cut me off, but I got distracted. I got his ass distracted. I'm going to readdress it. I mean, how are you looking, looking tight as shit? I'm going to readdress it Saturday night as well.
Speaker: So yeah, Titus is not currently streaming anywhere. I love this. So go ahead and get your audio, get your clips, chop it and screw it. Like a millionaire back in the day. I'll be the bad guy because I don't fucking care because at the end of the day, you can go on any of our social media or you can go anyway, listen to podcasts. You can hear the truth. Oh, sugarcoat shit.
Speaker: I'm not going to deflect. I'm not going to deflect. I'm not going to get scared. I'm not going to get shook and I'm not going to delete my shit. Yeah, that's a direct fucking shot. I caught that. Same thing at the beginning of the show Saturday night because it needs to be said. I'm going to say whatever you want.
Speaker: No, I'm reading. So earlier on, while Chris is taking this, we'll wrap it up. Earlier, and I'll do this real quick, I talked about different places in the world that have weird names for their town. These are hilarious, weird European town names. There's a town called Horny Cooley. Who's Spain? Ugly England.
Speaker: These are these are weird funny names of towns in Europe I Gotta go there who?
Speaker: ugly, which is in England, uh, that's dardo in italy christmas pie dol, which is in scotland mad kingley kissington mad kissing, which is in germany um i can't even say that somewhere in poland
Speaker: There's a lane in Finland. Jeff, you can pile that. Yeah. 40 bars. We'll dive down that wormhole Saturday after I'm talking about how awesome the protagonist was.
Speaker: I'm reading some of these. And the great thing about the Funny Bone is you buy tickets, but you don't buy seats. So when you arrive is where you get and then they let you in and they scan your tickets and they put you at your table. That's where you sit. Nice. So I'm hoping I'm hoping. Yeah, we might be like right now. Yeah.
Speaker: You got to try to get his autograph. Oh, dude. Oh, I I will shoot for because the thing about tight. Yes, he's extremely funny, but he's huge car. Not like car nut. Yeah. But the funny bone, the funny bone. Everybody knows the funny bone. It's a it's a it's a it's a very big popular thing, but only sure. No, no. That's the that's the.
Speaker: Shit, the comedy store, the funny store. Oh, Chris. Saturday because the 20 most haunted hotels in Europe. Hell yeah, let's do it. Uh, no, the funny bone in Columbus is a very, it's not, it's not super small, but it's,
Speaker: Well, it's a very intimate venue. So even if you're not... Well, I think I've been there. It's not very big. Yeah, even if you're not in front of the stage and you're like in the very last table in the back of the funny bone, you're still literally only four rows away from the stage. I'm going to send this to you. Send me that link. I'll send it all to us. I'll dance through it, Saturday. But, no, we do...
Speaker: We do appreciate you guys listening. We appreciate you guys hanging out as always, just kind of doing our thing, hanging out, shit, chatting, talking about real life, having fun and enjoying whatever conversation comes up. Um, there's an old saying that everything comes full circle and Jeff and I are back where we started. Just the two of us, uh, for the time being.
Speaker: doing what we do, having fun, everything like that. But in all seriousness, look, it's Wednesday night. I got to work tomorrow. I got to get up in the morning and I got to take my kids to school. I've had a little bit to drink tonight. I'm feeling pretty good, but I know tomorrow morning I'm going to wake up
Speaker: I'm going to be feeling a little bit hydrated. I'm going to need to get that hydration level back up y 'all. You know what I mean? So I'm going to go ahead and when I get up, I'm going to do my normal morning routine. But before I leave the house, I'm going to grab me my big water jug. I'm going to fill it up. I'm going to put some ice. I'm going to mix it in with some liquid Ivy because
Speaker: At the end of the day, proper functional hydration is essential and liquid IV is the number one powdered hydration and sponsor of the single handedly number one greatest podcast on the planet that y 'all don't even know about yet.
Speaker: So I'm going to use liquid IV tomorrow morning to get myself right, get myself feeling good and get myself through the day. One stick of liquid IV and 16 ounces of water is going to hydrate you two times faster and more efficiently than water alone. Not only that, but it also contains five essential vitamins. And then it has three times the electrolytes of those overpriced leading sports drinks.
Speaker: It's got quality ingredients and non -GMO and free gluten, dairy, and soy. So all your goofy diets are on. Liquid IV's got you covered, baby. Liquid IV has you covered. You know what I'm saying? You hear me? And with that being said, real people, real flavor, real hydrating, get 20 % off when you go to liquidiv .com
Speaker: use our promo code words are hard at checkout. That's 20 % off of everything you order when you shop better hydration today, using promo code words are hard at liquid iv .com. Ladies and gentlemen, how's that for a fucking endorsement? Oh yeah. That link, that link I just sent you, not only does it, what's,
Speaker: I think we're going to have fun with this one when we do it, because not only does it tell you about the place, it gives a quick description of the hotel, but then it tells you about the spooks that live there. All right. We'll lock it in for an hour or two on Saturday night. We are technically doing this shit. It's like two little quickie paragraphs that you can easily read.
Speaker: As you scroll down, dude. Ladies and gentlemen, we are in spooky season. Dude, I know what I'm doing. Summer months. When I'm in Europe, we are in the fuck. I'm not going to this fucking, this one place, this one place, dude. Fuck you. I'm going. Yeah, we're going to. And we're not only are we going, we're staying in the night.
Speaker: It's the Dax home slot. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it.
Speaker: It's got over 100 **** ghosts. I want to meet them all. I'm literally like three into this and uh **** No. I will stay outside in the car. We're going to have to do here's here's the
Speaker: Once I get settled up in Europe, you and Nicky come out. Once you get settled up in Europe. Jump on, jump onto my, my, my secondary motorcycle and the three of us go out to one of these fucking doors. Once you get settled up in Europe and you have all the money that you say you're going to have, you buy us tickets and we'll fly out and then you put us up and then we'll go and visit. I'll put you in this fucking Danish fucking hotel with a hundred fucking ghosts. That's where I'm sitting.
Speaker: I'm in But you Jeffrey Saturday Saturday night we're gonna dedicate the second hour to this haunted European hotel 20 20 most haunted hotels in Europe
Speaker: 20 most haunted hotels in Europe. When we come back from our first break, we do have to end the show because it's Wednesday and we are coming up on five hours, dude. Like what the fuck, man? What the fuck? It's almost midnight, bro. I gotta get up. I gotta do something. Anywho, thank you guys for listening. Thank you guys for hanging out. If you're not already, go ahead and check out the social medias, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok.
Speaker: Join us live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays on YouTube seven seven 15 ish. You can hang out in the chatters box, watch us live, listen to us live, engage in the conversation, add your two cents. We encourage it. We love it. Good, bad, or indifferent. We don't care. Go ahead and drop them comments. If you're watching, if you're listening, if you can't join us live, go ahead and check us out everywhere. Listen to podcasts at like Zincaster, Spotify, Apple, Google, and many, many more.
Speaker: And if all that's too hard for you, go ahead and head over to bio .link slash nonsensical nonsense. It's going to give us all going to give you all of our links, not only that, but it's also going to give you all the links to our sponsors. Don't forget to use our promo code words are hard before checkout, save your money, get your discounts, get your stuff. You're going to thank us later. I promise you. Well, that being said, we're going to have to show up tonight with a little black top mojo.
Speaker: Go ahead and check them out wherever you stream music and on all social media at BlacktopMojo. Go show the guys some love. Check out their tour dates. If they're coming to a city near you, go check them out. I promise you, you're going to love the show. You're going to have a good time. I've been, I've been to one. I can't wait to go back to another one. The guys are awesome. Their music is fucking insane. Enjoy a little BlacktopMojo.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: Electric eyes Yeah, they pulled me away She said I got you There are no tires Don't come with me I know where you wanna go
Speaker: Always how you never know In the middle of the sunshine Washed through the starlight Any place or anytime I'm going left
Speaker: Anywhere the wind blows Always high and ever low In the middle of the sunshine While still it's daylight Anyplace or anytime
Speaker: Anywhere you wanna go Anywhere the wind blows Always how you never know In the middle of the sunshine I feel the star light Anyplace or anytime
Speaker: an excellent song. So apparently all I had to do was download the tickets and screenshot them. Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's anything online. I don't like to. Yeah, like, like adult Nikki, I said it was so spontaneous, like literally, Jeff and I were back there talking.
Speaker: We're talking about relationships and we're talking about date nights and it was like fuck it like Jeff was talking and I was just like What's going on at the funny bone this weekend and I've seen it was died. This was one of my favorite comedians She's like I have no idea who she is. I'm like, oh My god, she's in for fucking treat. I don't think she watches a lot of stand -up comedians or anything like that. But yeah Definitely have to show her some clips
Speaker: It's not from like a technical broken family. Like his parents were together, but it was the seventies when his dad, when he was a kid. Yeah. So it's like, I relate to this cat a lot. And it was early eighties. He was like 18, 14, 15. Yeah. And then she was like.
Speaker: Well, then we were out there talking and she was like, Oh, what's so funny about my, I'm like, like I said at the front door and from, from the front door to the stairs is literally like the fourth or fifth row at the funny bone. I said, it's not a big venue. It's literally very intimate. And the sooner you get there, you don't buy, you don't buy seats. You just buy your tickets. So they seat you as you come in like a restaurant. So, you know, if we get there early enough from where I'm lying, we very well could be like literally.
Speaker: You almost want to get there. Like show starts at 10. You want to get there like eight. 10, 15. Yeah. So it's 10, 15 is this show arrive at 9 45 and Jeff was like, and I told her, I was like, Jeff's like, you got to get his attention. Like I'm six foot two, 300 pounds with a giant beard. If I'm front row, I'm getting his attention without trying. You know what I mean?
Speaker: Watch in here you have to like definitely have to take the hat Okay that one How fucking dope would it be Crazy scenario You meet Chris Titus and he decides the funny bone when the comedians are done typically they hang out the bar and they're like hey I'm gonna be at the bar when the show's over come and meet me and
Speaker: Brother You told her I said you don't think I'm gonna try to meet him after the show. Oh, I want a picture Oh Chris I host a podcast you see the hat nonsense will nonsense would you would you like to come on? We're not anybody important. We're not gonna help your five minutes
Speaker: All I asked five minutes a week. First of all, you know, if I could get him to agree to five minutes, I'd have him walked in for the full three hours. Exactly. Just because of how I know how I do this show. Exactly. Oh. And he's in town. Don't think I'm not going to shoot my shot. He's going to show Friday and Saturday.
Speaker: don't think I won't shoot my shot if I get a chance to meet him. Oh, I'm just saying. What time does this show on Saturday? I gotta look. Don't think I won't fucking shoot my shots. We can go early if we have to. Don't think I won't shoot my shot on social media between now and Friday. And tag him. Oh, I'm just saying. We can go early if we need to.
Speaker: We're going to be live at two o 'clock in the afternoon. We're going to be live at three o 'clock. Yeah, like I said, if I get the opportunity to
Speaker: If he's one of those comedians who's like, hey, when the show's over, I'm going to be at the bar. Come say hi. Come hang out. If he's one of those guys, I'm going. I'm sure 100 % will be like all day. I don't even care. There's no shame in my game. You miss 100 % of the shots you don't take. Exactly. And like I said, put it on our social media tomorrow.
Speaker: Nicki and I are going to see Christopher Titus this weekend. I got the tickets. The tickets are bought. They're bought and paid for. We're going. I don't know. Nicki was like, Nicki was like, well, I mean, if you want to save the money, we don't have to get a hotel and I'll drive home. I'm like, fuck that shit. I'm like, no, we're going to go have dinner. We're going to have drinks. We're going to have fun. We're going to stay in the fucking Hilton. We're going to be bougie for one night. Yeah. We'll be bougie and fuck for one night.
Speaker: I got the money, mama. I got you. Don't worry about it. We ain't staying at the murder motel again like last Friday or last Wednesday. We're not staying at a murder motel, baby. Daddy's got the hotels covered down. She said shut up. The world's worst fucking wifi. Jesus.
Speaker: Bro, I didn't even care about the Wi -Fi. I was like, we about to get fucking murdered up in this bitch. Like, like Texas Chase. I'm waiting for some inbred motherfucker wearing somebody else's face to kick the door with the chain. You want to say hi to my mom? No. No, no. I'm good, bro. I'm not even taking a shower in your hotel. We, we, we, we. No. We need that movie.
Speaker: Let's leave the car running. I'm just saying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: Don't have my gun Can I can still carry a bulldog is the question Why are you considering concealed carrying a sawed -off 12 gauge shotgun semi -automatic
Speaker: with a 30 round. Don't ask me questions. You know the answer to. I would run for sleep at the fetus museum. Listen here for a moment. You see where I'm staying. Go get your leader of Coca -Cola and mind your business.
Speaker: Thank you guys for listening. Thank you guys for hanging out. Check out the bio link, bio .link slash nonsensical nonsense. Find us everywhere. Hit them links. Check out our sponsors. Jeffrey. What do you have to say to these sumbitches? Oh, shit. I can do the other hand, too. It's your Darth Vader. Darth Vader says hi, Chris. Look, this is Jeff at the penis museum at work.
Speaker: Oh, dude, all day long, dude. I'm telling you, all day long. And as people walk in, I'm just throwing their penis. Well, ladies and gentlemen, how you doing? I love working here. He's like, Jeff, get their penis away from me. I'm just kidding. Would that be what you would do that?
Speaker: You wouldn't do that every time somebody walk in the door. I wouldn't because I have, I have penis days all joke long. You find yourselves at a crossroad. You don't know what to do. You're in doubt. Always remember.
Speaker: WWNND. What does WWNND stands for? What would nonsense bring all this to? We'll get you out to them life crisis. We got them sticky situations. Just go ahead and just pop into the chatters box and ask old Glick for advice. Don't ask Jeff. Just ask old Glick for advice. Yes, me.
Speaker: Say hello to my dog. Say hello to my spooky dog. My dog and my giant. I'm not done. Oh my God. Stop talking before I show you. I told him WWND.
Speaker: Now I have to tell them. Now I have to. I'm not done. Stop prematurely ejaculating on my show. I haven't told them. Stop it. Stop. I'm going to save space with warm milk and calling book him puppies. I didn't even tell them to be good or be good at it.
Speaker: I didn't even say. I didn't even say goodbye, motherfuckers. I'm tired though. In the world of Nonsense Go Nonsense, Jeff and I would like to tell you guys to be good or be good at it. And goodbye, motherfuckers. Hit that button. Hit that button. Hit that button.
Speaker: If you don't get the
