Nonsensical Nonsense Ep.20

Transcript

Speaker: My volume is really quiet. But we're live, so that's all on there. Welcome back to Nonsenseical Nonsense, episode 20, kind of a milestone episode, kind of cool that we've made it this far.

Speaker: I just derailed. I'm sorry. Hold on a second. Let me, let me, let me try to get that out. Yeah. Welcome to nonsensical nonsense guys. Sorry. It's been a fucked up night already. Uh, I'm Glick hanging out with the one and only Freddy fucking mercury back from the grave.

Speaker: If you guys aren't already, go give us a follow on social media, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, and you can find this podcast on Spotify and every other episode, all at Nonsense School Nonsense. You can also email us at Nonsense School Nonsense Podcast at gmail .com.

Speaker: Couple seconds of dead air. I felt like he forgot it. Well, like I said, your mic is like really low. Like I can almost barely hear you. And I got my everything at mine on full volume. I did this the other night. I wondered why I did it. Is that any better? We are suffering from some testicle difficulties. I can hear you clearly, but it's almost like you're whispering.

Speaker: or you're like across the room. Yeah, I'm not across the room. I'm definitely, I'm definitely in the room. You know what? I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to do something different tonight here. Let me, let me do this. Yeah, go ahead. A little bit of this action. We're going to go back to the, uh, the old school headphones that I've been using. I know there's better.

Speaker: Here we go. I'm back. Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Yeah. For some reason, it's like almost like, like your, your mic volume's low. Yeah. My mic's all the way up. That's weird. Let's see this. How about now? How's that sound? That's better. Okay. Well, we're going to go full on X -Box headset tonight. Oh God. Nope. Just, I just completely fucked my mic and threw it on the ground. Okay. No, I threw my mic on the ground.

Speaker: Nah, that'll fix it. I'll teach you. I'll learn you a lesson. So, so this is, this is how professional we are, man. I, I, my mic's not working properly. I had this same issue last night. So thank God I got this fancy as X -Box headset that seems to work. Yeah. Any, any who good Lord almighty, man. See that's fine. I don't have to worry about it.

Speaker: Mine's overly overpowering and it's way up by my forehead. That's the same thing she said about you. Fucking softballs, God damn it. Take two. ASMR, Glick Virgin. Mark said that my quiet mic was ASMR. Much better. There we go. Appreciate it, Mark. Thank you, man. Love you, brother. I was getting ready to tag you so you can come back in.

Speaker: Uh, now I got to re -share this all out again. Well, we were just having some good conversation. We were talking about our, our, our emotions and our, our feelings. And now nobody will, nobody will ever. Sad movies. Nope. Nope. Now nobody was ever going to, because you know what? It didn't happen. Yeah. So I got a little bit of an echo on my side, but that, but that, that might just be me and not you. Um, yeah, it's time for bed.

Speaker: I don't know what you're saying. Oh God. What? What? Yeah, I'll remind you. Damn it. Kid wants a fan. It's probably your fans fault. I don't know. It's awful quiet in here now. Close that door.

Speaker: Honestly, I could not I could not hear the fans so it's all good. So now we're back on to a background noise for me. Now we're back off to yet another slow roll because once again, I have to share this out to all these other places and people and anybody who's listening, feel free to share. I'd be great. Yeah, that'll save us some time.

Speaker: greatly appreciated uh share away let everybody know that we are on we are alive and and give us a shout out to us so that we know you're here yeah uh hopefully uh i don't know if i'm allowed to share on these podcast groups but i'm sharing the fuck while we have we're definitely sharing this to the nork glory hole because we are a home type of people there's a whole facebook page dedicated to nork being a giant shithole

Speaker: And it's called Newark glory hole. Nice. And it's awesome. It'll be quiet for the longest time. And then all of a sudden all hell will break loose and they start posting memes out of nowhere. And it's just fucking ridiculous. I could just randomly share this to pages that don't have anything to do with podcasts and just fuck people all up. All of a sudden we got 10 ,000 people in here going, shut up.

Speaker: Why did you share it to the serial killer pocket or serial killer Facebook page? Because you're a whore. I wonder if they'll let me share it to the Newark selling wall. Let's find out. Why not? Oops. What are they gonna do kicking out of the selling wall? Oh well. Hey! Hi! What's up man? I was just thinking about you.

Speaker: We're 11 days away from vacation. I stay up till 3 AM for this. I'm a loyal hoe for this podcast. Mark, we fucking love you, dude. Yeah, that's awesome. If we knew you had to stay up that late, that's crazy. Mark, if I decide to make a nonsensical nonsense hat, you'll have to give me your information so I can send you one. And whether you like it or snap back.

Speaker: We'll get you a flex bit small Yeah, I'm not a big flex big cat guy either snapbacks fine for me Hoss said that seed me live gave him a woody. So we got that going for us tonight Focus

Speaker: Uh, there we go. Well, it's a shit, it's a shit. I don't, I don't know. The, the, the track has been completely. Yeah. For real, man. The track's been completely fucking derailed. Uh, I don't, I completely, I lost, I lost my momentum that I had. So I'm trying to find it. The show was at 4 AM for me. Yeah, man. Hashtag awkward boner from Haas. Um,

Speaker: It's good to know we have fans like that because I'm a I'm a I'm a little bit of a fan like that for some YouTube channels that I'm like, Oh, they got a new video. I'm gonna watch this right away. Yeah. So it's nice to know that somebody's reciprocating. Well, it's not you. It's me. Yeah. Well, what are you gonna do? Mark's been around. Damn it. Mark's been around for a long time, much like costs. But Mark's been around for a long time. And like I said, he's over there and

Speaker: over across the pond. So it's hours ahead for him. And he's always tuned in for my lives. There's been nights where he's like, there's been nights where I'm live and he's on his way to work or some shit like that. He's like, I'm calling him late. Or he is at work. Hoss said Jeff is an awkward boner. That is true. You're a good kind of boner, apparently. Yeah.

Speaker: I look like a wet boner right now. Jesus Christ. My kid took my fan away. Now I'm sweating. And I got this door open. Why don't you get a rally towel? I need one. Yeah. I have something here. Get you a nonsensical nonsense rally towel. That's what we need. Get your rally towels up when the, when the, when the, uh, when the, uh, haps goes to shit and completely. Yeah.

Speaker: It's it's this beard his beard is worse. It's not wearing near as good as mine. Stop it. No, my beard is terrible. Also, hopefully I'll get to. Also, hopefully I'll get to see you here in about 11 or 12 days, and I'm going to. Hit you with these dum dums in your dick. But I do finally got to.

Speaker: You did do some prep to a certain degree. Well, I tried, I looked up, I don't like using the same website as you because then we just both had the same fucking stories. So I just went into the Google later. I put in fucked up funny stories.

Speaker: Hey, uh, just in case you, just in case you didn't know brand new episode, your nonsensical nonsense is up on Spotify right now. 19 or 18. I just got the notification. Uh, 19, 19, 18. I just got the notification from Spotify. Oh, did you know, hopefully about it. Yeah.

Speaker: Hope you feel special. You guys are the last thing I get to think about before I sleep. Man love, no homo. That's for Mark. We're all about the man love. The guy I love. He's that everyone has been inside of me. I'm a surgeon. Medically. Yeah, medically. That's what he says, medically. You did something. They need another show. They need another show together.

Speaker: Yeah, just give those to a show together. You did send me what, three or four stories? Now, now that we got that part out of the way, if I can just get you to jot down some notes and then you can just, you can bring the story to the table. Not so much. Well, here lies the problem with me bringing the story to the table. I can't read my own name. That's why I send them to you so you can read them out.

Speaker: But because I can't read, but the good thing about it is you sending me stories. And if you send me a story and I'm like, eh, I don't really care about that. Exactly. Yeah. Fuck that. Oh, that's good. You know, I don't, you know, which is what, and I don't, that's not a big on you. That's, I do the same thing to myself when I'm looking through stories and I'll, I'll, I'll make a mental note of, well, let's keep this one, this one, this one, and this one in mind. But I might go back later and be like, nah, that one's really not that good and just throw it away.

Speaker: Right, which is I think one of my says he was was I did find one. I found a picture very, very similar to the. The Burger King story, the fat guy breaking in the Burger King was woman was wearing she put she had bought leggings where the the feet looked like snakes.

Speaker: And her husband went to go get in bed and she's asleep. Oh yeah. And broke her damn foot. Yeah. You like did it with a ball bat or some shit like that. Yeah. I don't know. I just saw the, I just saw the little picture of what the feet look like and, and her broken foot. And I had to read it twice to understand what it was. I was like, wait, what? Yeah, that's, that's a little bit older story, but, but yeah.

Speaker: That's a little bit older story, but yeah, she had a snake, uh, footy pajamas and, uh, and, um, he went to go get in bed and her feet were hanging out and all I seen is what looked like a snake. So he took a ball bat or some shit to him and just just fucked her world up.

Speaker: She's like, I thought you liked Indiana Jones. He was like, snakes, why'd it have to be snakes? Okay, so Mark, Mark, Mark, you you are correct.

Speaker: back, back after, after vape and chill. I I've done some, I've done some growing up, I guess you could say there's been some changes throughout the years with my live streaming. Um, we did vape and chill, which hospital been around since those days. And then it went to the Glick show and there was a discussion once, once upon a time on the Glick show that lasted about two hours about, uh, anal bleaching. Nice.

Speaker: So Mark was like, click, tell me if I'm wrong. We spent two hours on the Glick show talking about as bleaching. I swear. I don't, I don't, uh, I don't know if I have necessarily approve of anal bleaching really. I mean, if I'm going to look at the assholes, I, you know, I can look in the mirror, but, uh, on the top of that, it's like, I don't know.

Speaker: I don't, I don't know if I'd be like, I thought you were going to do that. It's nice and nice and pretty. It's not supposed to be pretty. It's an asshole. No, I think if I wanted to look at assholes, it should be pretty in here. You are. You're like, I'm going to look at assholes. I want to see. I want to see shit. I want to see paper and hair. I want to see the dingleberries. Oh, baby. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I want the dirtiest method.

Speaker: No, but I mean, I mean, that's I'm sorry, but animal bleaching is totally vanity. It's all about vanity. Yeah. Well, and I'm not a vain person.

Speaker: A lot of things that people do go, go onto the side of vanity. Yeah. Yeah. I do believe that we, uh, we definitely approved of anal, anal bleaching that night. Hoss said that my show went from vaping children dumpster fires. Well, fuck you, Hoss. They're all in big. Hoss is a bitch. See Hoss is catching these hands. Pigeon Forge July 4th, 2021.

Speaker: We're gonna record that shit. Yeah. The only fireworks going off that night. Amen to that. I'm cocked and loaded. Make a beer cannon. Yeah. Speaking. Have you met my friends, Thunder and Lightning? Speaking to the mic, mic one, mic two, mic two, mic two, mic two, three.

Speaker: Well, Joe Dirt reference right there. Oh my God. David Spade actually just started a TikTok and his first video, he's wearing a Mr. Deertay shirt. And he's like, if you know what this shirt is, and you know what this car is, he shows the car, it's like a shitty satellite or something. But he's like, if you know this car, then you know who I am.

Speaker: And uh, somebody was like I started watching you i've been watching you ever since grown -ups and he's like Really grown -ups? This shirt means you know, I think that's why he started tick tock to tell people i've done other things besides Grown -ups Well, he was in uh, he was in uh He said a ton of movies but he was in a tv show that I fucking loved I can't which one it was called

Speaker: But it was, it was a TV show. There was a married couple and engaged couple rules of engagement. Yeah. He was there. So the guy that plays the main guy, uh, he used to do the original tick. Yeah. That dude is all. I love that dude. He cracks me up. I got the poo on me. Yeah.

Speaker: Instead of talking shit, just go, go, go, go smoke your doobage. Yeah. It's more funny somewhere. Come back after your high and then we'll be fine. Hello. Pretty good. Welcome. Welcome to the, uh, one of our many fans.

Speaker: I don't think she's a fan at all. She actually despises us. She's like, this is the only time I actually get to see Chris. That's why I watch. Yeah. You're going to add in on the guilt trip that she likes to lay on me. There you go. Back your bags. We're going on a guilt trip, sir. Meanwhile, your wife is downstairs talking to Juan from work.

Speaker: because she's like, he never let us sleep. My wife came home and passed the fuck out. She's just texting in all Spanish because she knows your dumb ass can't read it. Oh, no, no, that's what my wife was giving me shit yesterday about something and she went off in Spanish. I was like, you know, I know it. I know what you're saying. I'm talking to a friend and she's like, speaking in Spanish. I was like, you know, I know what you guys are saying. And I know you're talking shit about me. It's not funny.

Speaker: Yeah. And they're like, Oh shit. I was like, that's right. When I used to work security at the department complex, I've talked about it before the front end, but we, you know, we called little Mexico and the biggest problem we had up there on the weekends was like guys would break into the vacant apartments and drink and tear them up and stuff like that. And they were, they were always the next ones. And of course people would come and get us and tell us that then we would have to go and

Speaker: drag them around a little bit. Oh, no. You guys didn't say me any? What the fuck? No, no. Yeah. That's what I got their asses kicked. I'm trying to get this Mexican beer. Bop. Dump it out. No, no, but we - Hey, Mexican beer is good. Yeah. We drag them outside and we start trying to talk to them. And my partner was this little Puerto Rican kid.

Speaker: And they start trying to talk shit about me in Spanish. And then he turned around and tell them in Spanish, they'd be like, you do realize that he understand. I don't understand anything they're saying, but he'd be like, you do know that he knows what you're saying, right?

Speaker: And they'd all go like big bucks, like deer in the headlights and start staring at me. And I would just go, yep, keep talking. Go with it, dude. Shut up. Because even if 12 of them joined together like Voltron, they were still smaller than me. Like Voltron.

Speaker: We were talking about that last night. We were talking about Voltron last night. I said, I totally need to watch that again. Oh, I am. I am telling you that I guarantee I will get pussy on the 4th of July. I guarantee. Amen to that.

Speaker: pasta, no pussy for you on the floor. Yeah, we'll see about that. It'll be an extra douchey tonight. And Summer says that she doesn't doubt it. So apparently, you know, I got you and Summer and Haas all teaming up on me. I only start the shits. I don't, I just take the shits. I don't, I don't egg them on. Yeah. I just leave a little shit.

Speaker: That was, that was as bad as the one you did Thursday. Yeah, that worked out for you. How does he say it? I just, I don't take the shits. I just play with them or something. I forget how he says it. I have to rewatch Deadpool. Um, what an absolute shit show. Yeah. We're just all over the place. Oh yeah. I was telling you earlier. I was in Lids. Yeah.

Speaker: And I was talking to those kids and they were kids because they were maybe in their early twenties. Um, and they're like, so what is your podcast about? And I was like, Oh, nothing. Just me and my stupid friend bullshitting. And then, but be careful, baby. Oh, we're in. And that's exactly what the dude said. He was like, hell yeah. I'm in because that's what he was like. I could just put it on and I can listen to it in the background while I'm doing other stuff. And it's perfect.

Speaker: I was like, yeah, that's, that's, that's basically what we're trying to figure out how to, how to turn out and record our conversation. We really can't figure out how to work. Mike's heads. The reason I have my X -Box headset on tonight for a microphone. So apparently nobody wanted to listen to ASMR from Glick. Oh, it's still kind of low. I mean, you almost need to like, you need to put the mic up to your mouth, a little bit closer.

Speaker: That's a little close. Don't suck on it. I found my new favorite thing to watch on YouTube the other day. It says there's a version of YouTube called Cube. C -U -B -E. And it's very, very much like TikTok.

Speaker: Several people have put compilations together and they throw them up on YouTube. And I saw this one, this guy, there's somebody throwing popcorn at him. He's catch them. And all of a sudden, he reaches up real big and a dildo flies down his mouth. I laughed so hard, I was fell off the couch. Because you see him catching popcorn, popcorn, popcorn, dildo.

Speaker: And it goes straight down his throat. Mark was like, nice. Mark in the comments said, put it in your mouth now. Fuck on it. Take it all. Oh, no, Hoss, you're not wrong. Hoss said that you look like, Hoss said you look like Stan, only with hair and a beard. He doesn't have much more hair than Stan. Our buddy Stan, stand down there.

Speaker: Yeah. I have, I have the largest widow peak, which I would, he, I don't know that he's ever made it into one of our podcasts. I'm going to tag his goofy ass again. Haas, go tag. Tell him to bring his monkey ass in here. Yeah. Go messaging. Um, Stan is awesome. He did over Mike live and then he was with Kevin for a little bit. He's another podcasting guy. Um, but, uh, Stan's our buddy.

Speaker: Nice. Make it touch your Adam's apple. Shut up, boss. Yeah. I've seen videos like that before. Sorry. I just, I heard that. Make it touch your Adam's apple. Jesus. These are, these are my people. Just so you know, Jeff, these are my people. These are the people that I've met through the years doing these, doing these live streams.

Speaker: Hell yeah. Stan has made it in here, has he? Okay, I'm sorry, babe. I didn't know if he was or not. My bad. Kevin was in here for a minute. Well, that stupid fucking cat that should die was in here for a minute. But I was watching a video earlier and it was a guy and he had that, you know, the M &M containers, like the mini M &Ms and they come in those little cylinders that almost fit in perfect. And he was basically doing the same thing to his buddy.

Speaker: his buddy had his head back and had his eyes closed and he was pouring M &Ms in and then he switched containers and dropped the hot dog down his skirt. There's a video, there's a video of this guy

Speaker: He's, he's at like a hot dog or something and he inhales a hot dog, swallows the whole thing. Instead of actually chewing it. And his buddy just kind of looks at him like, what the fuck, dude? The guy that did that swallowed the hot dog is all proud of himself. And his buddy looked at him was like, kind of like, kind of like, uh, what's his face from, uh, you remember that, you know, that show that what was it called community or whatever? And it had that one.

Speaker: the asian guy from hangover he did that one thing i've actually never seen community although it's on netflix and i keep telling myself i need to watch it sounds like me it does sound like you actually somewhere i was gonna say that so summer summer's kind of like you know that video where the banana or the where the monkey like has like they're teasing the monkey with the banana

Speaker: He's like, it's got a voiceover. That's summer, like 30 seconds into getting down here. She's like, I don't need that video.

Speaker: Well, you know what? You asked for videos earlier. You asked me, you said, is there going to be a video? And I said, yeah, probably. And you're like, well, you definitely got to see my bro in action. And you weren't talking about me. You're talking about. Well, she posted all those pictures on Facebook the other day. And I made sure to tag you saying, Hey, Chris, check these before I look at them because God knows what's going to happen.

Speaker: But don't worry, after three days, I finally got to see the tan line. Did you? Yeah. Once again, I don't want to see it. I don't need to look at Stevie's nipple. It wasn't even a nipple. I didn't even get to see a full nipple. It was just there. It's like the latent outline. Yeah, no, it was above the nipple. But I mean, they're so big.

Speaker: You know, you know how some kids will like, you know, how kids will sleep with like stuffed animals and stuff. And that's like the comfort thing at night together. And we get to, and we get to go to bed together. I hold them at night and that makes

Speaker: I just, you know, I'm the big spoon. So I'm going to grab my, a couple of bringing this one over here to me and put this one right here. There we go. My wife will lay her head on my chest because I sleep on my back. She'll, she'll lay her head on my chest. So I have.

Speaker: full access of my hands. So I'm like, she'll wake up and I go, why are you playing with my nipples? I'm like, because I can I like her head anywhere near my chest because she likes to bite my nipples. Oh, no, she's always biting them and pinching them. And I just don't like that. I'm not that no, that I am. If I could, I'd remove mine.

Speaker: I told her she's going to get me nipple cancer. That was a whole discussion one night in my life about nipple cancer, whether it was real or not. We had doctors in my life and they said that nipple cancer is 100 % real.

Speaker: and girlfriends who pinch and bite their boyfriend's nipples, we'll give them nipple cancer. Now I don't know I don't know, stay away from my fucking nipples. It irks me out. It's like, yeah, it's just one of those things. Like, it's not it doesn't like discuss me. It's just, it just bothers me. It's like, don't touch me. No. Literally. I'm not that my wife would but she could touch my taint and I'd be like, Yeah, whatever.

Speaker: She touched my nipple. I'm like, get the fuck away from me. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker: We've got like a bunch of little girls. We've got like a couple of little girls right now. Don't touch my nipple. Oh my God. Stop it. That's my special place. Ow. Ow. You touch my nipple. Stranger danger. Stranger danger. Don't touch my no no square. Yeah, that's my no no spot. It's just, I don't understand. Why are, I don't even need nipples. Why are they there? I don't know.

Speaker: They just, they just bought me. It's to make your, your, your chest not look weird. I don't think my chest was weird. Uh -oh. Hoss got in trouble. Hoss got in trouble. What happened? Hoss got in trouble on, on, on Facebook for commenting and calling me a puto. Oh, no shit. For hate speech. Oh, give me a fucking break.

Speaker: the the

Speaker: I've never been in Facebook jail because I don't really comment on a lot of things. And I don't, I literally post stuff that I find on other Facebook pages. But, uh, uh, the meme shows Zuckerberg sitting in front of Congress and he's sitting on a cushion. It says you realize you got put in Facebook jail by a man that needs a booster seat. I was like, Hey, don't knock both booster seats. I use them.

Speaker: Yeah, right. Well, I've seen I've seen a meme today. One of my buddies posted it said the Facebook police.

Speaker: Um, and it was three dudes dressed as like, like one dude was in a dress and two other guys were in like women's leggings and some stupid ass tight shirt. It was like Facebook police. This is the funniest meme I've seen all week was a mom. She's kneeling down to her son and it says above it, honey. If you keep snitching all the time, you're going to end up being a Facebook face, a fact checker. I was like, Oh.

Speaker: Shot. Shots fired. That's harsh. I like it. It's amazing all the things we say we haven't been kicked off Facebook for the shit we say on here. Yeah, right.

Speaker: You know, I, I, I'm really surprised. They're clearly not watching our videos. They're only watching. I was going to say Facebook obviously doesn't watch our shit. So we found them find the way around the fact checkers. Cause if they fact check us, they'd be like, everything you say, we're all dumber for actually hearing it like that. Adam Sandler movie, the Billy Madison.

Speaker: Everyone in this room for what they've just heard. Okay. Shut up. I forget the stories I sent you. Is that weird? My kids are in trouble. What the hell does she just say? She yelled my son's name. Oh, I thought she said David. No, she yelled. She yelled at my son.

Speaker: I think somebody dropped her. She wouldn't bought these. I have a thing about drinking glasses. I don't buy glass because we have a tile floor everywhere through the house. And my wife bought two glasses made of glass. And yesterday my French Canadian friend that was here, he broke one and my kids just knocked over the other one.

Speaker: about five minutes ago. Yeah. Oh, shit. Don't worry. I'm in the middle of fighting Facebook about your comment. Yeah, that's bullshit. But it's but I like literally I have every glass I buy is plastic for the simple fact I have kids that, you know, especially my five year old, she knocked stuff over all the time. So I'm like, well, we're not buying glasses made of glass.

Speaker: And I mean, granted, the ones that my wife bought are only a buck a piece, so no big deal. But it's still the fact that now there's glass all over the floor and the kids are downstairs sweeping it up. So. And I'll come downstairs barefoot and go, fuck, what the hell is that? Oh, my God. I'm bleeding. Why is there shit all over here? Yeah, right. Fucking idiots. Goddamn fuck you, Facebook. And you're bullshit. Hey, you hear me, Facebook? Fuck you, you whores.

Speaker: Yeah. You know, I fought it. I don't know if you can still hear us or not, but I fought it. Uh, they're not in trouble. I also, they're not in trouble because she hasn't used the middle name yet. Mark said, I'm still wondering why you guys haven't gotten banned yet. I'm, I'm, I'm completely shocked. I think it's because we go live for so long. They're like, Oh, fuck, I'm not going to list this whole thing.

Speaker: If they don't say anything bad in the first three minutes, they'll let him go. Yeah, in the first three minutes is us trying to fucking stumble through a goddamn introduction. Everything worked. He's like, hello, welcome to, uh, what's this called? What's our social media? That reminds me, that reminds me, a little reminder to everybody Father's Day is tomorrow. Am I correct?

Speaker: Oh yeah, Father's Day is tomorrow. So shout out to all the dads out there. All fathers. Yeah. I've not said anything to my wife or kids. I want to see if they remember. Well, you know. So that on the 21st show, you fuckers! Yeah. Well, you know, Happy Father's Day to my old man. Happy Father's Day to you. Yep, mine as well. And to you, sir.

Speaker: to Haas and Kevin, and there's all the dads out there, all the dads out there. Happy Father's Day. And all you dads who stepped up because a sperm donor didn't want to be a dad. Myself included. Shout out to you guys as well. And to all the dads that their baby mamas won't let them see their kids. Fuck that bitch. Yeah. Email us. Email us. We will tear them in half. Yeah.

Speaker: And with our I'll go i'll go i'll go throat puncher if you're in ohio and your baby mama won't let you see your Kids, even though you're a good dad. Let me know and i'll punch it. Yeah I mean if you're if you're a deadbeat dad, you don't see her that's that's on you But if you're a good dad paying your child support doing all the things you're supposed to do and your baby mama's just being a cunt Let us know The nonsensical nonsense podcast at gmail .com

Speaker: Mark uh mark said i'm still waiting for for the for the son's day We have to put up with the old man's shit Yeah, well i've put up with my old man's shit too so My old man ain't talked to me in a while. So and I don't think he listens to the podcast I don't think he does either but he does post he posts uh constantly on facebook Yeah, you don't like my mom. My mom sent me a post that uh

Speaker: It was at first, I was like, seriously, is the old man serious? Yeah. Uh, my brother, the one that wrecked his bike bought a trike, you know, the bike with three wheels, right? He bought a motorcycle with training wheels. Yeah, basically. And my dad has wanted trike for a while and apparently they were hanging out and the neighbor guy has a pontoon.

Speaker: If, if you've got a brother, that's like 60, your dad is like pushing a hundred, man. Why does he need a brother? My brother is. Well, I think my dad's pushing almost 80. Yeah. He don't need a bike. That's why he wants a trike, but the, the picture I'm going to send you, I'll send it to you later, but it's, uh, they, they actually connected this pontoon to the hitch that's on the trike.

Speaker: Yeah. And my mom sent me a picture, dad's heading to the lake. And I was like, I know that old man is smarter than that. I was like, how the hell is he going to stop? And she, she literally messaged me back going, it was a joke. They were just sitting around here looking at the trike and looking at the pontoon going, you know, it'd be funny. I was like, that's totally what we would do. Yeah. That's, I can see Chris not doing that. I got a funny idea.

Speaker: Absolutely. I'd be like, Jeff, I didn't move either one. Exactly. That would have been. That's it was a total hold my beer moment. Like something in a picture of this. Yeah, jump in the boat before we die. And you'd be like, OK, I like it because a pontoon. Pontoons are heavy fucking. Yeah, man. Yeah. My my grandfather had one when I was a kid. We used to go out on the pontoon all the time.

Speaker: So, I mean, and he had a big ass dully that pulled, I mean, pontoons aren't that heavy, but they're heavy enough. And they're heavy enough where, where a trike is not going to cut it. Oh, absolutely not. It'll get it down the road. Stopping as a whole other issue. Yeah, absolutely. No, the, um, yeah, but my grandpa, he, uh, he had a.

Speaker: Uh, no problem, Hosh. You know, I got you, Bubba. Hoss was thanking me. But, um, now my, my, my grandfather bought a, you know, it was an older dully to pull the boat. He didn't need the dully to pull the boat because he already had a truck.

Speaker: But he wanted the dually. I wanted to do it. I had one of my one of my dad's friends. He had a siding business or something. There's a plumbing and siding and heating and all that stuff. And it was just him and like three other guys. And he bought a dually. It was like an 86 C 30 dually. And ever since I saw that thing, I was like, Oh my God, I want one. Square body.

Speaker: quad cab 454 just that's what yeah grandpa had an old Ford dually

Speaker: Quad cab it was and it was it was nice. I mean just all those things are they're land yachts, but yeah, they ride comfortable inside Especially the older ones. I mean you get on that big -ass bench seat and you just sink in like a like, you know Like it's the 70s And it was a big old bench seat across to the front and back. Yeah. Oh, man. That truck was awesome Yeah, but speaking of father's day and and asshole kids

Speaker: Mm hmm. I, we was out said earlier, we was out shopping. I'm out here spending all my dead money on you kids that and tomorrow is Father's Day.

Speaker: I better get something. And my son goes, that's your job as a dad. I was like, oh. Can I get it? Fair enough. Kids got a retort. Damn it. Point taken. Point cash. Well, we marked that on the board for you, son.

Speaker: catch one dead zero yeah definitely but yeah i haven't said anything to the wife and kids i want to see if everybody remembers but and facebook reminders don't count yeah but i will say this it was they about them it was at my urging that they got the stuff they got because they were trying to be like well yeah you know well with vacation coming up yeah but it was like coming up even

Speaker: It's understandable. Yeah. But I mean, we went to Tanger and we went to the Tanger outlet. So I was like, so we were in our apostle and the girls were like, well, we're just going to get one pair of shorts. I was like, I buy one, get one free.

Speaker: And then, uh, like they had their, their t -shirts were buy one, get two free. I was three. And yeah, I'm like, just, just let's go. Since their apostle changed their fucking, well, no, actually I'm wearing old Navy. Nevermind. Um, I used, I used to wear air apostle back in the day, but they, they turned into the, uh, wish version of Abercrombie and now they only make clothes for.

Speaker: for queers and women, so. Yeah. Well, a little thing that peeves me about Father's Day is on Mother's Day, call any restaurant and say, hey, can I come in right now with my mother? They're gonna be like, oh no, it's gonna be like a four hour wait. On Father's Day, you call any restaurant and go, hey, can we come in? They're like, why aren't you on the way?

Speaker: We got plenty of room. Yeah, no, that's the thing. That's the thing. Being a dad, you know, I don't I don't ever get the glory. Yeah, I don't ever expect anything. No, some are some are some are sent me my my father's day gifts earlier and I and I fucking loved them. You know, I got that. I'm still I'm I got my hopes out for a table saw. Yeah, I got I got that. But I got that Cleveland Browns fan box, which was so fucking cool. I know that's cool. I mean, that's like you're totally into.

Speaker: And I got a, and I got a new, and I got a new Michigan shirt. So I mean, yeah, I'm like, hell yeah. But, you know, um, so I'll get a happy father's day from the kids, but you know, I'm a dad and it's my job to provide and not ask questions. It's, it's, it's not, it's not my place to go make sure I get shit. No, I'm here every day. You know, I don't care.

Speaker: I just want, I just want, I want everybody to forget in a way so that I can hoard it over them for the whole year. I'm like, yeah, yeah, I'm fucking welcome to Christmas because you guys forgot fucking Father's Day. Oh, it's your birthday? Couldn't even get a happy Father's Day out of you assholes, but now all of a sudden it's your birthday. Exactly.

Speaker: You ain't getting your special doll from Santa. Summer said, Summer says she loves cash compared to about his comment he made when we were shopping. And she said that she knows what I like also. So I mean, yeah, I'm easy to buy for. So, you know, I got some really cool Father's Day guests. Well, I actually, I got, I don't know if it's Father's Day related, but I did get a really sweet message from the wife today, like an audio message.

Speaker: that I was like, aw. Aw. Out of the blue, she's like, I just want to, you know, remind you that we do love you and we're happy you're with us. Wow. Oh, that's cold. Why do you say cold? Summer said she wants my shrimp peanut in her. Nice. No, not nice. Not nice. Nice, isn't it? That's harsh. I say nice for everything. She said shrimp.

Speaker: Shrimp peanut. Shrimp peanut. I like it better when you tell me that it's not small even though I know it is. At least pretend. Don't call it shrimp peanut. Call it a cucumber.

Speaker: Something yeah, at least call it a carrot Fucking shrimp peanut fucking rearrange your birth control once how you like them Shut up mark No soup for you

Speaker: Well, the whole subject of dads, I mean, that's what we do. I don't think our kids will ever understand the sacrifices and the stuff that I was talking about your booze being huge and how much I like them.

Speaker: So Glick, how's your ego? Yeah, my ego's shot straight to hell. Thanks, Marcus. Yeah, I was going to say, Chris is going to be crying himself to sleep tonight. He's like, what was that movie Jeff was talking about? I need to cry. I'm going to go watch in game again.

Speaker: Tony Stark, I am Iron Man at Christmas. She called us Frippino at Christmas. The kids are like, dad, why are you crying? He's like, Iron Man's dying. In -game, in -game, and what was it, Infinity War? Man, both the movies fucked me all up. But no. Really? I don't think... Spider -Man Guide?

Speaker: And oh no, that's, that's heartbreaking. He's like, I don't want to go. Fuck. Yeah. He was like, I don't feel so good in any. Yeah. Oh, I'm going to cry right now. Tony. He, he.

Speaker: turned into Ash and Tony's arms. But no, I don't think on the subject of dads and Father's Day, don't think kids ever really understand the sacrifice until they're grown adults. Until they become a parent of their own. Yeah, until they don't really. And how I don't have to throw them over. I pulled them over. I want to hold them closer because I love them. Yeah. But uh,

Speaker: They don't they don't understand that the sacrifices that you make for them and everything and how in like, how dads will and I'm not saying moms don't do this, but parenting in general parents in general. Yeah. Until kids become parents. They don't understand the concept.

Speaker: Yeah. That yes, one minute you want to, you're looking for a place to bury the body, but the other minute you're just like, come here and hug me a little shit. I mean, just hell, just, just the other day. I mean, I had a really good opportunity, but unfortunately I would have had to leave Ohio and then I can't do it because the kids are here. So, you know, and they'll never know. They don't, they don't, they don't know anything about it. It is what it is. Yeah. So.

Speaker: much like a lot of other things in my life. Yeah. What are you going to do? I don't care. I do. I do it for them. And hopefully, hopefully, you know, you know, and the greatest reward will come when they are, you know, in their thirties and forties and they send you a message going, Dad, thank you for all the shit you put up with. Oh, yeah, definitely. And, you know, I've sent that message to my parents going,

Speaker: How the fuck did you guys do it? Yeah. Apparently I was an asshole. Not really, but I mean, not compared to, you know, the Mendez brothers or something. But, but I was not an easy kid. Yeah. No. And yeah, it's, it's, it's just weird. I mean, but I do everything I do. I do to hopefully that they have a better life than, than I did. So, you know, yeah.

Speaker: or at least a similar childhood that we had. I mean, with the exception of all the technology and shit that they have. Yeah, Jesus Christ. I literally limit certain times for the TV and stuff like that so that I make sure to go outside and play catch with the kids. Even if it's just throwing a fucking frisbee around or kicking a ball. You're in Mexico. You guys play soccer down there.

Speaker: No, I refuse to play soccer. But for their birthday last year, they got one. I'm American. One of our friends got her got the kids a volleyball so they could play in the pool with it. And we will literally toss that thing back and forth. Nice. I try to peg them. Well, I mean, that's part of being a dad. Mark says I'm like, hey, you guys know what dodgeball is? You failed.

Speaker: If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge anything. Wait, what? Mark said, Mark said, bro, I'll just send you a card. I talked to you more. So expect a card for me. There you go. You're the man, Mark. Hell yeah. I just want a shout out. My kids give me a shout out on Facebook or something. I'd be happy.

Speaker: I just like that my oldest daughter didn't roll her eyes in disgust when I was rapping today in the car and she was actually more impressed at my rapping skills to the 90s games. That's the thing, when you have kids of a certain age that you instantly go from being, my dad's a hero, my dad's awesome too. Oh my God, dad.

Speaker: that's not cool you're such a nerd you're so lame why are you so embarrassing stop embarrassing me yeah like embarrassing you want to see embarrassing where do i drop you out of school tomorrow yeah why don't your boyfriend goes over here amen to that you want to see embarrassing i'll show up in an open bathrobe and speedos let me talk to you yeah uh

Speaker: that got them cats back again. This is why you don't feed strays. He was asking, he was asking Haas when he was going to show up on the Kevin show again. But yeah, it was like me telling my oldest daughter's boyfriend, anything you do to her.

Speaker: Anything you think about doing to her. I'm gonna do to you He's like, huh Yeah, you guys did you eat dinner I

Speaker: I speak of the devil and they shall appear. Mine just popped in here. Give me a kiss. Good night. Yeah. And he was just like, or, or one time I went over to pick the kids up for my, my visitations. And, uh, they were on the couch, like they were all the kids were in the living room and my daughter, your sound just went way away.

Speaker: went way away yeah like i can't hear you is it back poorly i can hear is it's literally like uh you're like four miles from the mic what the fuck man seriously yeah it's like you're like this i'm dying over here man i'm floundering i'm dying word you're saying i can hear you but i can't understand a word you're saying

Speaker: What? Yeah. I got you guys those skittles. Well, we'll talk or something, Jeff. Don't leave dead silence. Sorry. I'm sitting here staring at screen. Go do it. It's very faint sign of Chris going talk or some motherfucker. Jesus. Just dinner. I'm an asshole apparently. Yeah. Well, Chris flexes his mic. Um,

Speaker: I don't have the stories in front of me because they're on my phone. Now, you're still out. You're still, I don't know what it is, but it's almost like your mic is off or underneath. You know what it sounds like? It sounds like your mic is covered by a shirt or like under a pile of clothes. It's really weird. While you get that fixed, I was just thinking that if I can get

Speaker: I just forgot what I was going to say. Squirrel. Am I back? Are you back? I'm not hearing a word you're saying. It's so weird. And I can't see any comments, so I'm just going to rant here. No, you know, uh, my kids, you were saying your kids just popped in. Mine, mine just came in and saying they're going to be good.

Speaker: When you meet kids, good night. All that fun stuff. Those are the nights, those are the, those, that's one of the best things is the kids. Uh, I doubt your daughter, your oldest daughter's coming up to you and going, I'm going to bed now, dad. I'm going to give you a kiss tonight. That doesn't happen once they're older. They're like, fuck you. I'm going to bed. It's, it's, it's those moments that I'm dreading showing up where boyfriends end up showing up, girlfriends and all that stuff. And.

Speaker: and the whole uh what's it called uh the dead you're so lame and you're not cool anymore you're not my hero that makes me sad i'm gonna cry here i don't know what the heck happened to your mic but uh yeah i'll just rant oh as soon as it chris it does get back we can get uh are you back can you hear me can you hear me no it's still quiet it sounds like your mic is

Speaker: Covered up by a pile of laundry or something. That's so weird. It just like kicked out. I don't know what happened. Try your, try your big Mike. I just tried it. Am I still fading out? Yeah. It's literally almost like somebody turned your volume way down. God damn it.

Speaker: I don't know what happened. Hold on, wait. I think, try it now. Say something now. Okay. Can you hear me now? Okay. Yeah, there it is. That wasn't actually you. It was probably me. Cause my, my volume does a check. It's got like a, because of the headphones, it says that the volume is too loud for my ears.

Speaker: Well, if I'd have been watching the fucking comments marks that I sound fine, bro, it's fine here. Okay. Okay. Yeah, that was my bad. Damn it, Jeff. I'm all over the fucking place. That's good to do. I can get you. If I really get bored, I'd be like, you know what? I don't want to list Trish talk. I'm going to tell him his mic fucked up.

Speaker: You can't see me. I, Mark, I'm sorry. I got so sidetracked trying to fix everything. Mark's in the, Mark's in the chest and he's like, you're fine. You're good. I can hear you. Meanwhile, I'm fucking, I literally, so it sounded like your mic got turned down and I'm like, wait a minute, maybe I should check my volume. It'll automatically turn down my volume without saying anything.

Speaker: I mean, I think that's what happened. Yeah. Meanwhile, I'm over here trying to find a new mic, this mic, that mic, every other goddamn mic. I'm calling mics on the phone. I'm like, Hey, bro, I know your name's Mike. Can I use you? I'm going to talk into your face. And he's like, Oh, that's weird. That was weird. But it usually never does that once you have it turned up all the way. Yeah. And that's the first time it's ever done that on the phone. That's weird.

Speaker: Fucking bullshit. Yeah, what are you gonna do? Yeah, that's been our show tonight. Yeah, we're fucking professionals folks. This is this is oh, yeah This is oh, yeah If you want to go ahead and read one of those stories No, what I want to do is tell you to go fuck yourself and drink beer I

Speaker: And listen to you find it more. Yeah, because it was bad. I was like, I have done this prepared if you could go wrong.

Speaker: Oh, wait, wait, what? I can't hear you. Your mic is so low. Chris, your mic went dead again. I don't know what you're talking about. I can't hear you, man. Whatever. Chris is talking shit. I want to tell this mic because it'll work. Just the whole way. He likes to take you to his home from the Mexicans down the road. Shit, that's funny. That's the song I just made up.

Speaker: never never happened on on never happened before but it just my phone automatically decided it that was too loud for me and it turned it down on me fucking fucking I don't know what it is with the technicalities tonight we are just all over the place yeah man we are we are we are fucking we are we are the ultimate dumpster fire tonight welcome to nonsensical nonsense

Speaker: I don't even know where to start with these fucking stories. Well, speaking of stupid fucking people, here we go. I gotta see if it'll pull up. I didn't even, I didn't even try to see if these stories would pull up. It's probably gonna be like, this is the Mexican website and you're not allowed to go there. No, actually I googulated it. So I didn't pull it off like Facebook or anything. I found them on Google and the one of them is actually from the Miami Herald. The last one I sent you was from Miami Herald. So it is definitely Florida.

Speaker: So the one from Florida, again, a little bit older story. And a man, basically, we don't have to go into full detail or anything like that because the headlining is pretty self explanatory. So in Florida,

Speaker: Uh, and I don't know if that Glick's over here ripping his room apart while Jeff's set back laughing. Yeah, Glick is totally That's for Mark. Good looking out Mark. Love you, bro Um, so

Speaker: Um, iguanas in Florida have become an invasive species because years ago, some. Couple dildos decided I wanted to pat iguana. And then they didn't realize that iguanas are six feet long minus their title and their, their, their living, breathing dinosaurs, essentially. Oh, they're here. They're here everywhere. You see iguanas everywhere down here, but they're not native in Florida. So they, so they have become, so they have became, they have become.

Speaker: Oh, a nuisance. Uh, they're an invasive species for Florida and a guy killed in the guana and, and tried to use the standard ground in the court because

Speaker: Even, even though, apparently now, yeah, even though iguanas are, are nuisance just breeds different people. You ain't wrong. Mark. Mark said Florida just breeds different people and he's in and he's across the pond. He's over in England. So, you know, Florida people are dumb. Well, I'll tell you what, 90 % of the weird shit you see on the internet about some weird fuck there from Florida. Oh yeah. A hundred percent. So.

Speaker: So even though that the iguana is a nuisance animal, uh, an invasive, uh, creature, they are also protected. So yeah, dude in, in, in, in Florida, killed in iguana clean, stand your ground, which is a little danger, stand your ground is a real thing in Florida. Um, because the iguana, I think they want a bidding or something like that.

Speaker: So he's like, fuck you. Yeah, he's he's going to jail, you know, with all the other idiots. But I did I did kind of. Oh, my God, Jeff, I thought you said this was a legitimate site. Yeah, it does do pop ups. It's fucking me all over here. So. OK, well, we're just.

Speaker: Chris is skimming the article as we speak, so. No, I'm trying to get the article to come up. Oh yeah, does that stupid video at the bottom of the screen? No, it keeps giving me whole popups where it's like, oh, congratulations. You're the 100th person. Oh, Jesus. And he's won a $5 ,000 Walmart. Oh, I can't go to Walmart because there's still butters from Walmart. They're looking. They've heard about us. They won't let us in. I was telling my boss about that the other day.

Speaker: Uh, I think it might've been yesterday. I can't remember if he was totally on board with us. He was like, yeah, you guys should get a Walmart again. I don't blame you for being afraid. No, Walmart don't fuck around, man. Yeah. So, so, so anyways, here we go. I think it's going to work this time. Pennsylvania woman attempts to hire a hit man on a payment plan. I don't have everything now.

Speaker: So, so a bullet point, a bullet point to this story right at the top of the story is all right. I'll hire you to care. I'll hire you to kill this person. Do you take Amex? Not that we can claim to be experts on the subject, but we assume hiring a professional killer is pretty expensive.

Speaker: You would think. Just just move furniture on your concrete floor while I'm trying to tell a news story. I'm trying to get some more air coming. But but apparently some of them are willing to give you a payment plan. Claudia care, which is kind of interesting. Yeah, right. Claudia has been arrested.

Speaker: with criminal solicitation. She's been charged with attempting to hire an undercover detective to take out her husband. So here's the thing. All right, you fucking whore. Here's the thing. Anytime, well, I wasn't calling her whore. I was calling the website a whore. I mean, nine times out of 10, anytime you set up a meeting from a hit man that you met offline, that's gonna be a goddamn undercover detective.

Speaker: Oh yeah. And why would you go online to find it? Find some sketchy biker and be like, Hey dude, you want to make five grand? Yeah. This, this is not a new story of somebody trying to hire a hit man who turns out to be a detective. Yeah. I've heard, I've heard it multiple times. Yeah.

Speaker: If you want, if you want Glick's advice, stop being a pussy and do it yourself. Do yourself. Fucking A. It'll save you a lot of money because how much does a bullet cost? Rent a bullet, buy a, rent a gun, buy a bullet. End of the day. I don't think you can rent a gun. I don't think there's gun rental facilities. No, but that's actually, that's a line from a movie. Uh.

Speaker: Have you seen, you've seen the Chevy Chase movies, the vacation movies? Oh yeah. In Vegas, when he takes the family to Vegas and he's playing Blackjack and he's lost all his money and he says to the dealer, what can I do for $5? And he goes, I don't know.

Speaker: Rent a gun and buy a bullet. Cause every time he goes to play blackjack to win some money, this dealer shows up and just destroys him. That's where I get that line. Yeah. Oh, well, you know, it is what it is, but yeah, it says, uh, it says, uh, uh, go to the gun rental. Yeah.

Speaker: But that would be a sketchy business. Why do you want to rent a gun? Well, well, that's why that's, that's, that's, I mean, not that the gun rental, but I mean, uh, the 38 special became the Saturday night special because it was a cheap, easy gun throw. It was an easy throw away gun. Yeah. I mean, hell, Leonard Skinner wrote an entire song about the 38 special or something. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And, uh, they, you

Speaker: I, if I was ever going to kill somebody, I'd totally pull a Dexter. Well, you got to set up a disposal. No disposal. Take it on the boat, go out as far as I fucking can international waters and dump the shit. Why don't you just introduce it to your dolphin boyfriend and have that work. If seriously though, if I was ever going to kill somebody shark infested waters would be your best friend.

Speaker: No, actually not. Okay, so let's go on this subject. This will probably be canceled. Fuck this dumb bitch who tried to set up a payment plan to kill her husband. And describe your perfect murder. Well, there's one or two things you can do to get rid of a body. And I've described this to my daughter's boyfriend. So pigs will eat everything but hair and teeth. Okay.

Speaker: So if you're gonna kill somebody. Yeah, I understand the pig thing. I actually explained this to my buddy, the other night. We were talking about Tiger King, how the lady fed her husband to the Tigers. Yeah, but also, if you, and being in Ohio, being in the Midwest, a lot of rural areas, a septic tank. Pig farms aren't hard to come by. Well, not only that, but a septic tank. A septic tank will destroy a body.

Speaker: to the bone and a couple of months. Oh, that's true. Because of the bacteria and everything in there. Oh yeah. Within a year, maybe a year, it'll, it'll disintegrate the bones. Absolutely no evidence whatsoever. If you find a farmhouse, an older farmhouse with the same a little toss a roosky, you know, nobody cares. Nobody, no crime.

Speaker: Here we have cenotes. Cenotes are basically a sinkhole filled with water. There's a couple of them that are several miles deep. Marshes by an industrial sized blender.

Speaker: That might raise any flags. But you also live in Mexico, where people come up missing every day. Nobody bats an eye. Nobody bats an eye. What's now? So no, no. Yeah. Well, a couple years back, there there's American, it actually made international news. American guy came down here with his girlfriend. He literally booked a vacation with plans to kill her.

Speaker: Mm hmm. Actually, I think I think I know I think I might know about that. Yeah, it was here in Cancun. Mm hmm. And they found her in a what's it called a above like a water supply tank. Hmm. Which, once again, I was like, that's kind of dumb. You're from rent a jet ski.

Speaker: Rent a jet ski, international waters. Bloop. Bye. Yeah. Right. A jet ski. Choke that bitch the fuck out. You don't even need to choke her out. You pocket knife. Bloop. Shark infested waters. You know, call today. That would be, you know, the whole pigs, sharks, stuff like that. Perfect way to get away with it.

Speaker: Yeah, but there's no guarantee that the sharks are going to, are going to eat a body where well, according to true blood, according to true blood, alligators like marshmallows. Did you really just say, according to true blooded, like tells his brother.

Speaker: when his brother kills his parents and a couple of episodes back you piston moan because fast and the furious made a charger do a wheelie and you're like that's just not scientifically possible because if you do a wheelie in a car you're not going to burn your rubbers because of the catalytic converter and the injections and the pistons going round and round. Well you can literally you can literally

Speaker: go and buy a bunch of ham from the store and strap it to a body and toss it in the alligator pit and the alligators eat the ham, but they accidentally eat the body too. Yeah, but alligators are only aggressive during mating season. Yeah, that's true. So you time the murder. Who has time to do all that?

Speaker: I'm going to kill you. I'm going to kill killers. I'm going to wait till spring, motherfucker. Yeah, I'm going to hide and seek is popular. Yeah, I'm going to kill you, but we're going to wait between. And I don't know what the mating season is. I don't either. So but we're just going to say I'm going to kill you, but we're going to wait from May to June. And they are going to kill you.

Speaker: Well, it's that, that whole adage, you know, what you, what you do. If, if, if you were ever going to kill somebody, you want to get close to that person, learn their routine and all that stuff. So you, you basically pretend to be that person's best fucking friend. So you being around that person all the time is not uncommon. Yeah. Therefore you're off the radar.

Speaker: Mark said, who went out with a bag full of marshmallows and thought, I'm going to feed the gators. Right. Well, that's Sam literally says to his brother, uh, by the way, alligators like marshmallows, you should know that. And I doubt, I doubt an alligator went, Hey, by the way, throw some fucking marshmallows down here. That was like, uh, that was like, who was it?

Speaker: It was Sam's brother. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Who was the comedian that said that he was taken to wrestle alligator. I think it was, I think it was a Bill Engle and they are not wrestle alligators, but wrestle bears. And the safe word was marshmallow. Oh no, that was Bert Christner. That was called Bert Christner. He did a TV show called Hurt Bert.

Speaker: Yeah. And he was like, is hilarious. I am so waiting on the Russian mob movie. They're apparently turning this Russian mob story into a movie. No, they're filming right now. Are they really? I totally want to see it. Yeah. I totally can just be all over it. Yeah. I only know that because, um,

Speaker: The morning show I listened to, welcome back. Guy in Tampa, the host of the Mike Kauta.

Speaker: him and Bert are actually really good friends. So he was actually thinking about going out to Russia or wherever Bert's filming to go hang out with him during the movie or while they were shooting. Right. But yeah, they are currently filming right now. And I believe Mark fucking Hamill is playing Bert's dad in the movie. Nice. The Joker, the voice of the Joker. I don't know what Mark

Speaker: I don't know what else Mark Hamill's ever done. I just know that he's single handedly the greatest Joker of all time. But he was also the greatest Joker voice. No, he was also he was also in the TV show The Flash. He played the trickster, basically the joke. No kidding. Yeah. But yeah, on on CW's Flash, he was the trickster. I don't know if Mark Hamill's ever done anything outside of that.

Speaker: But yeah, I think he just does voice work. Yeah. He's a hell of a voice actor and he's fantastic as a joker. So, I mean, like I said, I don't know. He might've been in the Lord of the rings once Harry Potter. I mean, if you say so, I don't know.

Speaker: I'm not gonna. Mark Hamill. I mean, he probably could have had a pretty good career. A bunch of nerds heads are exploding right now. Yeah. Mark Hamill probably could have had a, had a, had a, had a pretty major role in a movie if he wouldn't have been doing voice acting, but I don't know. Who am I to judge? It is what it is. Yeah. What are you going to do? I feel like, I feel like he, yeah. Well,

Speaker: You've sunk so low. You went from being the Joker to Bert Chrysler's dad. Do you know who's playing young Bert? No, Bert. Probably Bert. Well, that would be weird because I guess he could. Dude, I bet he's narrating or something.

Speaker: I don't know exactly. Outside of the Russian mafia story, one of the best things that he ever did was, one of the other stories he did was when his family went, they went on vacation somewhere. The owl story. No, no, no, no. They went on vacation somewhere and they, and they, and his daughters, they went zip lining and zip lining.

Speaker: Bro, he's literally been in every star. Mark is so pissed. Yeah, I knew somebody would be like, are you guys fucking retarded? He was at Star Wars. Like, no shit. Mark commented on Facebook. He's like, bro, he's literally been in every Star Wars and did the face palm emoji. Oh, my God.

Speaker: Someone doesn't understand sarcasm. You've clearly not been around for any of the podcasts. But there's a story where they go zip lining.

Speaker: And the ziplining instructor says, when in doubt, spread them out, meaning like your legs. Oh yeah. I remember that. Yes. No, the funniest story, the funniest story that man tells is he's besides the Russian mafia story, which I've watched like 50 times is when he's sitting there talking about his dad just discovered weed.

Speaker: And his mom, they go out to see his dad on the lake or something. And his dad's like, you know, if we're out here late enough, maybe my owl will talk to us. And he starts howling out, hoo hoo. And the owl feedback. And all of a sudden, Birdstar's like, dad, dad. And he's like, wait, we're talking to a fucking owl. And for like five minutes, she's like, dad.

Speaker: And she points across the lake and there's another old man going, whoo! There's just two old men who'd back and forth in each other. The fucking cracks me up. Because I can totally picture it. I can totally picture us being on opposite sides of the lake doing something stupid like that. Telling our great kids, watch, we're going to talk to a fucking owl.

Speaker: He lives over by Chris's house. We text each other, message each other, hey, I'm going to go out on the boat. Are you ready? Are you ready? Woo hoo! Woo! I go out on the porch. I go out on the porch like, woo hoo hoo hoo. Summer's like, what the fuck are you doing? We're fucking with Jeff's great kids.

Speaker: But if you look up, look up Burke Chrysler's owl story. Oh my God. It's so funny. Burke, Burke Chrysler is, Chrysler's probably one of my favorite comedians. And I just, because his stories are so real, like he told a story once about his daughter wanting to get out of school early.

Speaker: And he was like, I can't take you out of school early because your mom will find out. And she was like, look, mom's got an appointment at her massage or her masseuse at, uh, you know, 11 15, blah, blah, blah. Like she had it all schemed out. She planned it. Yeah. Then he got the call and he went and got her because everything played out perfect. And she got in the car. She was like, let's go get ice cream. And he was just like, yes.

Speaker: Hey, I'm going to send you. Have you heard him? Have you heard him smoke? Tell the story of the DMV? Probably. Well, he he smokes. He smokes weed before going into he he got like his license got suspended and he had to take us like a driving class or something. And he goes in. He sees this guy over in the corner before they go in with his big old fucking joint. So they smoke it.

Speaker: And he's sitting, Burt sits in the front row and the teacher walks in and he's got like a little gimp arm. He just says right away, he says, okay, let's go ahead and get this out of the, out of the way. Does anybody notice anything weird about me? Burt goes, one arm's bigger than the other. That story.

Speaker: I sent that to my wife and she just, she went, Oh, that's so fucked up. I said, but he apparently was stoned out of his mind. Oh yeah. Well, they, uh, speaking of father's day and dad of the year, my dad finally decided to make an appearance. Oh, is he here? Of course he doesn't come in and say, Hey, what's up? He's like, Hey, what's up guys? How you doing? No, he don't do that.

Speaker: He goes, he goes, you guys make no fucking sense. That's what makes us. Never, never fear. Guess who's got our back. The one and only Mark. He says, I swear, I feel sorry for anyone who comes in halfway through these, through some of these stories. Oh, I know. It's terrible. No. But we were just talking about Burt, Burt Kreischer. Uh, you know, we, we both enjoy the,

Speaker: the stand -up genius that that Christ sure is just because just because like how can anyone have a life that has like I would love to tell life stories if I had stories like his I would do the same job as him because well it all him going to school he went to college in Florida and

Speaker: Oh, dude, that's why he went to he went to college in Florida. Yeah. He's from Florida. He's from Florida. Yeah. He was born and raised in Florida and he went to school there. He's also he also I believe he tells a story where he swears to God that he was the original lead singer of Creed. No. Yes. Absolutely. Oh, I got to look that up.

Speaker: Yeah, well his special Google his special on Netflix the come here big boy or something like that or Secret time secret time. He's got secret time. Oh my god. I died secret time is my Secret time is the one that has the winning doubt spread them out. Yeah. Yeah

Speaker: But I, I literally scroll, scroll through Netflix and YouTube looking for a good standup comedians. And, um, Joe Coy is really good too. Well, the, uh, most female comedians, a little are a little too much woke for me and they're a little too much. But there's the, I can't remember her name, Isla.

Speaker: Is there a verse name at her? Uh, she does, she got a special it's called, it's called the hashtag elder millennial. It's not Isla, first of all, it's Isla. Yeah. Well, you know, whatever, but her, her standups not terrible. It's, it's, it's, it's Isla Schlesinger. Exactly. Dude. She's hilarious. She's funny. Yeah.

Speaker: She's got a movie coming out, I wanna see. Joe Coy is fucking funny as hell too. Oh, speaking of Netflix and Burt, he did during quarantine, he obviously couldn't be out on the road, so he rented a cabin. Yeah. And he invited all those comedians up there. Holy shit, that was hilarious. Yeah, nope. I don't know all about that, man.

Speaker: No, I don't think I know I know everything before he knows Like I said him and him and Mike Kauta are are are really good friends and Let's see something real quick. I don't know if this will work Good wait, I don't know what you're doing. But no, it's not gonna work. Don't worry about it. Um, but uh

Speaker: Nothing. Um, but, uh, no, him and, him and, uh, him and Mike Kauta are really good friends. And, um, so Bert's always calling into the show and if he's down in Florida, he's always on the show. Um, I can't figure out how to work this thing. This is probably going to get me in trouble actually. Oh, okay. I'm about to share it onto a Facebook page that I don't know if I'm allowed to share it onto, but no, no. Um,

Speaker: But Summer, why are you being so quiet? Summer says Summer's wrong. I was gonna say Summer hasn't given a shit for anything so far. She must have a song in the background. But she gave you shit. She didn't give me any shit. And she called my fucking penis a shrimp. Yeah, that's why I said she gave you shit. She hasn't given me shit today. You know what? Fuck you, Jeff.

Speaker: I got to take a piss. Can, can, can, can you talk about 400 and why I got to take a piss for I will do my best except for the fact I'm sweating my balls off here. Oh my gosh. It is my kids took my fan. So I'm all sweaty. How about sweaty, sweaty balls before the Germans gets here. Do you ever see that Saturday night live, uh, Christmas special with, um, uh, I think it was Alec Baldwin, one of the bald ones where it was, uh, sweaty balls.

Speaker: No. Okay, you gotta Google that. I'll have to Google that. I am gonna go take a test because - Go ahead. I was actually just gonna say, I rewatched a movie. Please enjoy Jeff's movie review while I go take a test. Yeah. I rewatched the movie Bedknobs and Broomsticks that was made in, I think it was like 71, where

Speaker: Uh, what's her name from murder? She wrote and the dad from Mary Poppins, uh, she accidentally, she inadvertently takes in some kids at the beginning of, I believe it's world war one. And she's a aspiring witch and stuff. And she's trying to get this final spell from her professor. It's all like a mail -in course.

Speaker: And I never realized how bad that movie was until I rewatched it. Cause I used to love it when I was a kid and it, I rewatched it and I was like, eh, it's okay. But it wasn't, it wasn't as good as I remember. I don't know if that's because I'm older, but I wanted my kids to see it because I try to make them watch the movies that I like when I was a kid. What is that?

Speaker: Is that you trying to cover up? No, I didn't. No, I don't know. No, I don't. I don't have my, I don't have my wireless. I was going to say, since you went and pissed, now you ramble real quick. I was just talking about how I watched. I re -watched that movie because my, my kids, I wanted them to see it and it wasn't as good as I remember. Bedknobs and broomsticks. Uh, it's, uh, Angela Lansbury.

Speaker: The woman from Murder, she wrote. I know Angela and the dad from Mary Poppins. Jesus Christ. I mean, and she's an aspiring witch. I mean, it's I swear to God, I need a new co -host. All right. Well, you go ahead and ram it real quick because I'm going to have to go piss. I almost had a strategy and you guys probably can't see this, but I bought a six pack of Bushlight.

Speaker: Cause I had a few beers here and I was like, I'm just gonna get six more. And when I was getting out of the car, I dropped one fucking smashed up the bottom, smashed up the top. It is what it is. Shit happens. Um, I drink a beer and I take a piss. Okay. So I've already drank like eight beers. Oh man.

Speaker: We'll get more alcohol. Hey, tell your daughter. Thanks for the invite to my niece's birthday party today. That was cool. But, um, I don't know what the hell I was going to say. I was going to say something. Um, all the kids are all acting crazy. Every time I open the door, they're like, are you doing nothing? Calm the fuck down, bro. Oh my goodness.

Speaker: Did I miss something? Yeah, I know. While they're cheap. No, no, no, no. Mark's just busting my balls for drinking bush light. And no, and my old man is, oh, I need more alcohol. You'd be more fucking supportive.

Speaker: Yeah. Even my mom is supportive. She at least watches the episodes. She hasn't been in our lives in a minute. Well, she's only, she doesn't, she's not a real comment. No, she just, I think she watches it in the background while she sews. And then later on she'll be like, you guys are freaks. Your mom watches it in the background while she touches herself to me.

Speaker: It just goes to show you, we only have limits when it comes to politics and religion. Anything else? Open for discussion.

Speaker: Your mom's like. Instead of Stacy's mom, she's like hosted nonsensical nonsense. Who plays the mom in that video? Fuck, I don't know. Oh, she's gorgeous. There's only one video, Vixen, that I give knowledge to.

Speaker: that I'll acknowledge. Stevie. Yeah, don't say yeah, tell me who it is. Stevie. I said video, Stevie. Stevie Nicks. No, I was talking about summer, Dork. Oh, okay. Who's video vixen for you? That's not Stevie, it's Star, first of all.

Speaker: So whenever the video, the greatest video mix in of all time, man, come on, you don't know. I'm curious to hear what you're thinking. I'm going to. You know what? I'm going to give you I'm going to give you a hint with the sound clip, which is going to get us in trouble on Facebook. I'm sure it will. Actually, you know what? I'll do this instead. Let me see. Hold on a second. That's it. You're buying and wait.

Speaker: should probably talk right now but he's not going I should but I have nothing to say cuz I don't know who you're talking about because video vixen from from I know what a video vixen is I'm just saying from back in our day that there was it down to about four hundred thousand chicks I'm gonna I'm gonna try to do this without us getting in trouble hopefully this that's like this is this is what's gonna get us bad this is this right here is gonna

Speaker: No, no, this is what's gonna get us in trouble Out of all the horrible things we've ever said and done. This is gonna get us in trouble And if you don't know this from an audio and audio guests, he's changed who's changed He drinks that sissy shit. I'll punch both of you in the fucking face Are you ready to see that video I sent you? How about the bushlight hat? Oh Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, isn't that cool? Oh

Speaker: That is really cool. I wonder if he could make me a Budweiser one. So here we go. I'm gonna give you an audio. I'm gonna give you an audio. Please remember, I'm not the biggest music buff in the world. And please remember, I can't sing. Okay. Oh shit, you're gonna sing. I'm gonna sing. Oh fuck. He doesn't even know what he's talking. I know exactly what I'm talking about. Shut up, old man. Is this love that I'm feeling?

Speaker: Is this the love? And I've been searching for. Oh, my God. I know. I know the song. I don't know what it's called. It's wasting. Is this love? Yeah. Yeah. You're talking about the chick that's on the hood of the fucking Jaguar. You don't know who she is. It's Tony. No. Yeah. There you go.

Speaker: Yeah, I can't sing, but I just sang on this fucking podcast. Better you than me. Well, we're still gonna do the, we're still gonna do, you should see my face now. The musical episode? Like Scrubs did that musical episode? That one lady, everything she heard is in a form of a musical? Yeah, that's my problem. Yeah. Even Mark was like, white snake.

Speaker: Well, you know, like I said, I was never. I mean, don't get me wrong. I like white snake and everything, but I'm I'm not a huge movie buff or music. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I am. You know what I meant. You know what I mean? Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, contain was the OG video. Vixen and she and she dance and it wasn't on the Jaguar. I don't believe it was. It was a white Jaguar. It's a white Jaguar X 20 X X.

Speaker: I can't remember the X 28 something like that. I forget. There's X type Jaguar. I'm going to, I'm going to, I don't want to give this a V 12. It's a V 12 white Jaguar with dual gas tanks. I'd put money on that. Cause I've seen that video a couple of times.

Speaker: Well, you know what? Fair enough. I've seen that video more than a couple of times. Once upon a time, I was like, oh, hey, little buddy. I'm going to touch it. I'm going to touch. Oh my God. What are you doing? Totally gonna buy me a Jaguar. Not going to buy me a Jaguar, but there is a black and white Jaguar. Okay. I told you. I turned it down so he didn't get in trouble.

Speaker: But yeah, there's two jaguars, right? Yeah, it's a black and white. Yeah. Thank you, Facebook. Yell at me. Mute me. I don't give a goddamn. I need a moment. I'll be back. Yeah. I think Tony just died, actually, to be honest with you. Did she really? Yeah. Well, well, dude, she had a fucked up life.

Speaker: Yeah, well. Drug and drugs and... Well, the girl that played the sister on 70 show, Jesus, she died and you wouldn't recognize her on that 70 show that played Eric's sister? Jesus. Oh yeah. I can't act either. She looked like Kalista Flockhart before she died.

Speaker: What the fuck is my problems is like, you can't act either. I don't even know what the hell he's talking about. Who's acting? We just are. Yeah. Was I active? I don't know. I'm actually like a podcast host right now. I think I'm doing a pretty goddamn good job. You work.

Speaker: What the fuck? As I zoom in to actually read how much battery life I have on my phone. I want to get a fisheye lens. I want to get a fisheye lens for my phone. Extreme close up man, Wayne's World. I feel like we're doing, there's a horrible version of Wayne's World when we record this podcast.

Speaker: Yeah, that's, that's, that's basically the, the best way to describe our podcast is a weird Wayne's world. Here's the thing. We, we, we started the podcast earlier and a hundred, a hundred, a hundred percent fucking derailed.

Speaker: And, you know, I feel like we restarted. We've, we've had some good luck where we're rocking and rolling and, and, and, you know, it is what it is. We are a little bit over the, all over the place sometimes, but that's standard for us. Yeah. The old man came in here, started talking shit. I'm going to have to go kick his ass. That's the video I want to see. Me whooping his ass. I don't know. I don't know. Your dad looks scrappy.

Speaker: Yeah, he can be scrappy all day long. The only time he's ever taken me to the ground is when he had the girls helping him. I can comment. You just threw me a softball that I can totally throw by your weight, but I'm all about the anti -shame. Don't fascinate me. Just because you look like the size of a fucking Buick.

Speaker: Oh, yeah. I hit that softball at the fucking bar, man. You tossed that softball. You did a bunt sacrifice. Yes, I did. I'm impressed. Jeff doesn't have a phone stuck to it. What the hell are you talking about? He does have a phone. Look, first of all, you bunted it. It was a sacrifice bunt. There was an error on the pitcher's mound, and you had him to get the first piece. Whatever. I fucking hit the hockey puck through the field goal and scored a home run.

Speaker: You think you're making fun of sports. You think you're making fun of sports people, but in actuality, you're making fun of yourself because you know nothing about sports. That's exactly why I said it that way, because I don't know shit about sports. I know the difference between the different sports, but that's my analogy. Like I said, it was a it was a sacrifice, but with an error at the pitcher's mound, you got the first base and a runner scored. I'll give you a score. I mean, but it wasn't a home run. That's an RBI often knocked it out of the park.

Speaker: Oh, that reminds me. I've been meaning to ask since, um, freshman year of high school, what the fuck is an RBI? Okay. Well, I'm going to say as simple as I possibly can for the retarded people. That would be me. Okay. Got it. So you hit out, you hit the ball.

Speaker: And it's not necessarily a home run or it might be an infield or an outfield. But somebody ran in because of me. Yeah. If somebody's on third base, they were able to run in. I just remember I took a class.

Speaker: Because I did wrestling and I was all about working out and freshman year. Just because you handled the jock straps, whether they were on the wrestlers or off the wrestlers, it's not really good wrestling. What you meant to say was, I did wrestlers.

Speaker: I took it that yes that was a that was a little hard yeah that was a field goal from the baseball mound no but but I uh I took advanced gym because

Speaker: Well, basically it was, it was an excuse for all the jocks to work out and play baseball. Hold on a second. Babe Ruth is stepping up to the plate and he's calling his shot to center field. I know you said, you said I took advanced gym.

Speaker: There was an actual class. Basically, you should have said, I rode the shortboats to work or to school. And not only did I lick the windows, but I also ate everybody else's boogers. I kid you not, there was an advanced gym and it was literally. The wrestler water boy.

Speaker: It was literally an excuse for all the jocks and people on sports teams to work out and play baseball. We literally played baseball half the year and the other half of the year we spent in the fucking weight room. But you love playing with the other boys balls, didn't you? Oh, yes.

Speaker: That's a, that's a, that's a real nice rally towel. You got there. What is that? You're right. No, it's my daughters. It's pretty, right? It's got a little hearts on it. Yeah. And rainbows. Yeah. Yeah. I guess there's a Rambo's on it. Look that is literally what was laying here. That's cause I just did, I just did laundry.

Speaker: And I said it on the bed. I love you, but I wonder about you sometimes. Well, as I've stated multiple times, I'm secure in my masculinity, my place in life. I don't have to explain to you. You want to see me make Jeff feel uncomfortable in three, two, one. I love you, man.

Speaker: I love you back, brother. Just have a love session here. Yeah. So what's the advance? What's the advance? The advanced gym class is Jeff taking four to five bats and balls at the same time. What the fuck happened to our show tonight?

Speaker: I don't know. Tonight was a big shit show. Tonight was a throwback to... Tonight? Tonight. That's a Duke is on the Block song. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, man. Couldn't tell you. Tonight essentially is a throwback to the old school Glitch show, Vape and Chill. We're just going to turn the camera on and we're going to hang out and we're going to bullshit. The only exception to it is

Speaker: I've got somebody to fucking hang out with me. Yeah. Well, yeah, but that's mostly every podcast we do. Yeah. Holy shit. Sean, what is up, dude? Sean, my buddy from Michigan, just tuned in on Facebook. He's currently dealing with a hemorrhoid on his tailbone that he will send me a picture of. I feel like

Speaker: No, it's not. No, that's that's in the air tonight. But tonight, tonight, what Jeff was saying was the new kids on the block song pops. Oh, Brandon's in here. All right. Here's my buddy that I met playing Call of Duty. We've been here. Good friends for 10, see, I don't play any games when I play online. When I play video games, I do not play online. I cannot stand to do it. Well, I we have a group of people that that. Oh, it's a cyst. I'm sorry. It's a cyst.

Speaker: Oh, OK. He has a cyst on his tailbone and he sent me a picture of it. So I feel only obligated to send him a picture of my hemorrhoid on my ass. Yeah, there you go. Did you bleach your asshole first? Sean and I have a very weird friendship. That is this. So Brandon. I love you, brother, but I'm not sending you a picture of my jump. Yeah, well, Sean Sean and I have a.

Speaker: It's a weird friendship. I love the kids of death. I absolutely love Sean and I love his wife and I love his son that I probably won't ever meet until he's in college, even though they live three hours away from me. But Brandon, who's in Facebook, him and I met on Call of Duties.

Speaker: uh 10 11 12 years ago and that's where we met Cameron and Justin and then of course my buddy Kevin who lives around the corner we all we all well Kevin and I've been friends for almost 20 years but we all met on Facebook and we became really good friends and and we hung out and dude we played black ops for like three years together before I realized that Cameron and Justin only live like 20 minutes around the corner from me

Speaker: Yeah. So, so, um, but Brandon, Brandon lives out in Oklahoma. We have yet to meet him. He's like an eight and a half foot tall Asian motherfucker. Yeah. So that's my dude. Uh, Sean said, show me your Hemi and I'll show you mine later. Sean. Yeah.

Speaker: Hence why I'm standing up. But yeah, dude, I, we used to, well, well, before we all, well, I had kids, but I'm a raging alcoholic who doesn't, doesn't, um, believe in condoms. Pretty much. Um, what the fuck just texted me? It wasn't me. What the fuck happened to your face pops? What'd he do?

Speaker: I really just sent me a picture. He's got like his nose busted open. Oh, pops. You got a funny post post that on Facebook so I can see. Yeah. I'm curious. Scott, you need to post that dude. I want to see it. Yeah. I don't know what the hell I was talking about. I don't either. You're talking about playing black ops. So, so we used to play black ops and Brandon would drink and Kevin would drink and

Speaker: Cameron ordered pretend the gameplay would be shit. We'd get to a point where Kevin took it super serious. Brandon kind of took it serious. Cameron sucked because he was talking to 12 year old black chicks or black dudes. I should say Cameron was like chatting with like black dudes on a grinder, black grinder.

Speaker: And Justin took it kind of serious. Brandon and I never really took it super serious. And we would talk shit to everybody. But there would come a point in the night where I'd be so drunk, I'd be standing in the middle of Newtown with an LMG just spinning circle, just sitting there. God damn it. Like, fuck it.

Speaker: But I've actually never played Call of Duty. I'm a huge driving game guy. Of course. Brandon and I would talk so much shit. Brandon and I were the best shit talkers. Kevin sucked at talking shit. Justin was funny because Justin could actually do impersonations and voices.

Speaker: But Chris we're walking walks man. Yeah. Justin and I would talk or Brandon and I would talk so much shit to everybody. I think if I ever could learn to do impressions, I would, I would want to do the Nick cage and I want to do Chris for walking. The only, the only impression.

Speaker: that I think I can do that I know I do horribly is Billy Bob Thornton from, uh, yeah. I just watched the juror or no, the judge, I just watched the junior, you racist with Robert Downer Jr. And, uh, uh, Robert Duvall.

Speaker: And fucking Billy Bob's in it. Every time we go, I put on a obscure movie. Billy Bob just fucking shows up. And shows up in monster's ball. Monster ball. Yeah. Oh, my God. That was fucking weird. You know, they actually had sex that that that scene with them having sex is actually they actually had sex. Son of a bitch. I know. Right. Right. And said the driving game are here. Grab prismo.

Speaker: I love me some GG. Grab Trismo is Legend. Wait for it, Dara. Dari? Dari? Darya? What the fuck is going on? I love Gran Trismo. Yeah, I don't... You know what I like about driving games? What's that? I'll drive backwards. Basically, I used to play NASCAR and my butt went to heaven. Go backwards on the track.

Speaker: And I would be drunk and I'd be like, fuck this shit. Pull the e -brake, slide around 180 and go backwards and see how many assholes I can wreck. Take out. No, I like playing Gran Turismo. I totally want to play Forza, but I don't have an Xbox because fuck Xbox. If I had an Xbox, I would totally only buy it to play Forza.

Speaker: Yeah, yeah. Well, you know what? I used to be an Xbox hater and then I got an Xbox and I play a lot of games on the Xbox. I like my PlayStation. I still have my PS, my PlayStation. Yeah, I think it's like I don't know. There's a game. There's a game I totally want to get. It's called SnowRunner. Have you seen this game? It's literally.

Speaker: No, it's actually not a racing game. I'll send you a clip of one of the guys I follow on YouTube. He constantly gives updates on mods and stuff. But it's basically a logging game, but you start out with a single cab Chevy Silverado, and you're literally driving through mud and stuff to get to the objectives. And it's the closest to doing the real thing.

Speaker: If you don't, all I heard, all I heard was Chevy gang gang Chevy gang. It's true. PlayStation is better. Well, you know, as a guy who owns both systems, much like, uh, much, much like, uh, I'm a Ford guy. Fuck your Chevy. Chevy like a rock or Dodge.

Speaker: I think the only reason I'm not an Xbox guy is I don't like the controller. I'm so used to a PlayStation controller. Well, yeah, it took me a minute to get used to the... And that was my biggest complaint for the longest time about Xbox and PlayStation. I didn't like the Xbox controller. Sean said, you guys see the new grass cutting simulator? Anybody? What is it? You like the grass cutting simulator? Stimulator?

Speaker: That's like a farming simulator. That would be, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. So it's just basically, basically what Sean just did is he threw out the, uh, how about them Braves? Yeah. Yeah. I got a fucking game that you need to fucking get, dude. I'm telling you amazing storyline. Everything it's called days gone. Oh yeah. You've talked about it.

Speaker: Gaze. Oh my god. That game is fucking amazing. It's a zombie apocalypse kind of movie and you're a biker. It's genius. So grass cutting simulator is a real game, Sean. Is that what you're saying? Are you serious? It looks bad ass. You run your own landscaping company. Brandon said that, Brandon said Glick. That's like, it's like, uh, that's like taking it up the ass and sleeping with a woman but saying you weren't gay.

Speaker: So, so, so wait a minute. Wait a minute. So basically what you said, Brandon, is it's like allowing your woman to pay you. And it sounds like he may or may not have experience with that. Uh, since you brought it up, you have something to talk about. Does, uh, does the old wifey give you the old, uh, one, two punch action.

Speaker: got the strap on honey peg me tonight braid his wife and i won't say her name out of respect for her but braid his wife came out of the bathroom bathroom one night she was like surprise

Speaker: Hey, I kind of like this a weekly thing. Wait, wait a minute. Okay. So, so, okay. Deeper. Okay. That's too deep.

Speaker: She's like, how are you pregnant? It's plastic. He's like, I don't know. But I feel different. I'll let you know in nine months. The next day. You're going to owe me child support, woman.

Speaker: Sunday morning rolls around. He's like, Hey, you know, it's Father's Day. And, uh, you know, that thing you did, uh, last night, uh, you want to do it again. I mean, I'm not asking, I'm telling, you don't have to keep the door in and scream at me again, but, uh, I'm ready.

Speaker: He's been over the bed spreadin' cheese. I don't like it. Just so you know, he's been over the bed spread cheese. I don't like it, just so you know. But if it's your thing, then it's cool. I just want to be supportive, honey, you know? Don't fucking play this game, Brandon. You know I'll twist it around. I got you. You know better. Like, for you to...

Speaker: We're talking about Brandon taking it up the ass and enjoying it. And Sean's like, my grass cutting landscape company is actually doing pretty well. We're profiting, sales are up, and what the fuck is going on? That's how Sean got an assist. Yeah.

Speaker: I was like, we're not going to talk about my fiance. She, uh, anyways, grass cutting simulator is a fantastic game. And, uh, you guys should take it. You should check it out. I don't, I, that just literally sounds like you're just remote controlling a, a, a lawnmower up and down somebody's yard. This is, this is, this is how appreciative that branded is.

Speaker: And Brandon said, uh, I was trying to see what the old man said. You forgot to stop by. Who forgot to stop by? No, I didn't shut your whole mouth. Not you. I set myself up for that one, but you just read the comment way. Nope. You know better Brandon. You know better.

Speaker: Uh, he said he, Sean said he got a picture from your pops, man. What the fuck Scott? Did you see that? Holy fuck dude. Sean said, Sean, he sounds that he got his cyst from wiping the wrong way.

Speaker: from taking him to the left when you should have taken him to the right. Yeah. He should have bobbed when you weaved, man. Zig when you zagged. So I was like, I'm over here zigging and zigging and zigging and zigging and I'm like, God damn it if I shouldn't have zagged at least once. Yeah. Got to bite that pillow, man.

Speaker: Hold your breath. Squeal like a pig. Great. Great. Great. Don't fucking play with me. I'm the king of this shit. Bow on gracefully. I have. You know what? Just give up. Brandon and Sean have been served. Yes. No, actually. Sean said, no, actually, I got I just got a hairy ass. And it caused you. How do you get a sis from an ingrown hair?

Speaker: So the question is, what is the right? That would be my question. What is the right way? I mean, do you lift your balls and do it from the, do it towards the front? No. Oh, like, like she gets on top of you and fucks you. Yeah. Like he's laying on his back, like a turtle, his legs up.

Speaker: I stepped away for a second. I said, Brandon said, Brandon, you had to step away for a second. Brandon's wife came in and she's like, come here, you Asian monster. I'm about to moo goo guy your pants. He's like. Jesus, I like come up some young guy.

Speaker: I'm General Sal, and you're the chicken. General Sal. Well, on that note, it is the two hour mark. No. Yeah, because I have to I have to go. Why? No, I got shit like.

Speaker: So let's go ahead and close it out because I also want to wake up my wife and be like surprise. No, you're not. You're going to stay asleep on the couch and you're going to you're going to go watch Hannah Montana. I finished it, dude. I told you. You're going to rewatch it. No, I got to take a shit. It's going to take me a while. He does have to wipe his backfetch.

Speaker: Yeah. I got, I got, I'm going to, I'm going to finish taking the shit and I'm laying on my back on the bed. Basically what he's saying is that he's watching the clock because he's gotten in trouble way too many times for us going over. And, uh, he, he, he, he can't, he can't allow this bullshit to go more than two hours because he's a bitch.

Speaker: Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Call that. I'll take, I'll, I'll take it as it lies. It is what it is. Yeah. I know better. This is this, that just shows how long Chris and I have known each other. He knows when I'm full of shit. Yeah. I mean, this is good to show that once we reach the two hour, the two hour mark, our best magic happens. And, and unfortunately, you're afraid of what we need to do is go for an hour.

Speaker: Before we start, just get all the bullshit out of the way and then just go fucking full retard on live. So what you're saying is I should start drinking an hour before we go live. Uh, yeah. Sean, Sean said you're a pussy with, with about 35 cat emojis. That's okay. I am what I eat.

Speaker: Well, you are what you eat and you'd be a rooster. I see what you did there. He wants to leave. Actually, give me one second. Let me go pin real quick and I might be able to keep going. Give me one second. He's going to, he's going to go make sure that the, uh, chocolate is still low or still in the holster and it's not locked and loaded. Uh, he lives in Mexico that his wife is Mexican.

Speaker: So, there you are. You see that? I'm a horrible influence, you guys. You guys already know this. Brandon's been on, Brandon's, Brandon's felt my horrible influence when we play Call of Duty. Sean's felt my horrible influence just from my periscope lives. So I know the right push, the right button is the push to keep people going.

Speaker: So he's going to go take a piss. He's going to make sure the wife, he's still asleep. He's going to make sure the kids are asleep and then he'll come back in here and he'll be like, he don't even drink. I'm the only one drinking the true statement. Here he comes. Look, here he comes. All right. I'm back. All right. Everybody, everybody act normal. Nothing to see.

Speaker: I say this coming from a guy who, Jeff and I have known each other for close to 25 years. So he already knows my shenanigans and he knows my bullshit. And he knows that I'm a horrible influence. Look, I was discussing how that I'm a horrible influence and that I will encourage people to do things that they know they shouldn't do, but they want to do. Like steal batteries from Walmart. I didn't encourage you to tell me.

Speaker: I don't know what encouraged us to do it. But as I was talking about that, Brad, it was like true statement because Lord knows I've, I've had him up later than he should have been or doing things that he, well, not doing things that he should have been doing, but four o 'clock. I got my softball pop. There's another blunt sacrifice with an error. Still an RBI.

Speaker: Yeah. I'll take the RBI. You started watching me. You're nice. That Mark said, I watched you throw up and fall asleep in the garage. Yeah, Mark's been around for the best of times. Isn't the beginning of the pride and prejudice? It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. No, that's the tale of two cities. That's the book, the tale of two cities. Albertized child. By Charles fucking Dickens. You know how I, okay, the only reason I know that,

Speaker: The only reason I know that is I've tried to read that book like 15 times. And I only get to about three chapters in. You can't get past the first sentence because you don't know how to read. No, that's another problem. Yes, but I draw on a fifth grade level. Winning. Hashtag winning at life.

Speaker: I'm not a big reader in the first place. But I've always wanted to read that book because everybody's talks about it. But I just can't get into it. It's just so fucking boring. Just watch the movie, man. I know, right? Yeah, stop being a bitch. Watch the movie. That's how I got through the Scarlet Letter. Because Demi Moore. Oh, I thought you were talking about the Emma Stone movie when you said Scarlet Letter.

Speaker: Oh, no. You know what? I've seen that. It's called easy. Yeah. But, but the, it's that easy. A is a, uh, adaptation. It's not a full adaptation. It's a, it's almost of a parody, uh, like a nineties take like, uh, 10 things I hate about you is a, uh, taming of the true.

Speaker: What are you talking about? William Shakespeare wrote the play Taming the Shrew and the movie with Julia Stiles and Heath Ledger called 10 things I hate about you is an adaptation of Taming of the Shrew. Look it up. Google that shit. Is that your word of the day adaptation? Apparently. Hold on. Let me check my word of the day calendar. But it's a it's a

Speaker: But the Demi Moore, Scarlet Letter movie is a direct, like, from the book copy. Dude, do you know who you can talk about cars to for days? Who? Brandon. Anybody but you? No, Brandon. But Brandon's a Volkswagen guy, man. He loves him some Volkswagen's. Oh, my God, dude. Brandon, you need to come down here.

Speaker: You see one every 30 seconds. VW, VW vans all day long. Oddly enough, not a whole lot of charming things. Go down there and Jeff would, uh, introduce you to advanced gym and play with your bat and balls. So, so Mark, Mark wants to know if, uh, if, uh, if, uh, if anyone's ever find the, uh, found the, uh, Madeline girl.

Speaker: Who the hell is the Madeline girl? I have no idea what he's talking about. Yeah. Brandon loves V -dubs, man. Him and Kevin will go back and forth in our group chat about cars. Kevin's a Dodge guy. He's a V -dub guy. And I'm just like, I don't even care. I like to fucking.

Speaker: Browns. I like the car that I can put the key in the ignition and turn it on and it goes room to room. My little cherry Sonic is awesome. I don't have a Sonic you asshole. Madeline, who the hell is the Madeline girl? I got a piss. See?

Speaker: I literally went through it. I finished off a two liter here during the podcast today and it's all coming back to haunt me. Well, pops pops has finished off the Cleveland bourbon. Nice water. Apparently he did not like it. Like Gary water. Yeah. Nice.

Speaker: Yeah, no, there's a, there's a, there's a company up here. It's a Cleveland whiskey or bourbon, or I don't know what the fuck it's called, but, um, they, they, they make it here and then you can order specialized, like, um, personalized, like Cleveland Browns or Cleveland Indians or like for the label. Yeah. Cleveland Cavaliers. He said.

Speaker: I actually, I have a couple of brown stickers for my car. I just, I'm not putting it on there yet. Cause I want to, I do. I actually, I have two brown stickers on my, uh, tablet right now. They came in my father's day gift, but, um, I have one more left and I, I'm contemplating putting it on my car and I have a Baker Mayfield sticker for my car that, uh, okay.

Speaker: Depending on where you put it on your car is very important. Where are you putting it on your car? On the window. Very good. OK, I can accept that putting it actually on the pay job. I don't know. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I want to put it on the back window. Well, I was going to wait because I was going to get an issue. I want to get an SUV because my family went from four to six.

Speaker: Right, so I was gonna get an SUV and I was gonna put the Baker Mayfield sticker on them and Brandon can appreciate the Baker Mayfield sticker because Baker Mayfield went to Oklahoma and Brandon is a boomer sooner fan and But um, I Just I what SUV are you looking at Chevy Traverse? Again gang. Yes

Speaker: Say so. At least you're in the right family. I'll fight you. Hey. Hey, no, I'm, I'm with you. I was, I've been actually looking at, um, I've been, I'm trying to find a used Chevy pickup, like a, like an S 10 or a blazer SUV kind of thing. Cause I don't, I don't believe in buying a brand new car because I'll avoid the warranty in about 20 minutes. Yeah. Well, because I can't leave shit alone. I'm not saying I got to customize my shit.

Speaker: Yeah, no, I just want to leave it alone. I just want to fucking drive it. Pop said that that cleared whiskey. He said, I wouldn't even call it whiskey bourbon. Ooh, bro. For the same price and size, get a Volkswagen Atlas better seating space. I'll give it a rest. Yeah, but we all know. Yeah, but we all know what the Germans did. I was going to say this and then the Germans are here because

Speaker: I like the older Volkswagens. I like the older Volkswagens, don't get me wrong. Until you drive one. Yeah. Step into the gas chamber. I mean, shower room. Yeah, exactly. Where's the Germans? We're here to help. Look, you need a shower. You need a shower, Stinky. We like the juice.

Speaker: We like sea juice. Go take a shower, Jew. Don't worry about the smoke. It's fine. We're the Germans. Oh my God. Fucking Germans. I gotta take a piss, man. Yeah, I told you. Why don't you flounder while I take a piss?

Speaker: No, okay. I'll go ahead and I'll tell my Volkswagen thing. No, the thing is, yeah, go ahead. The problem I have with Volkswagen's all comes down to one thing. Volkswagen has way too much fucking money. Volkswagen owns Lamborghini and also owns Audi, which is, you know, it's basically they take a fucking Jetta and they're like, Oh, it's an Audi. Just give us more money. Um, my neighbor's got a beautiful fucking Jetta that it literally looks like an Audi. Uh, but

Speaker: When it comes to the newer Volkswagen's, they're just, they're cheap Mercedes. I guess they're also, it's like a poor man's poor man's Audi. I'm sure that pisses you off, but whatever. But I do like the older Volkswagen's like the, the, the bugs, the older bugs, not the new remake bug that is, is corporate corporate world saying,

Speaker: Relive the 60s because they're straight -up girls car where the older beetle I do have a plan to buy an older beetle again, but I want to put a Yamaha YZFR1 motor in it so 250 horsepower Volkswagen Beetle that will literally destroy a set of tires in a matter of seconds. That's why you suck and I don't y 'all bitches wanna play these games

Speaker: Chris is drunk. No, no, I was just talking shit to my kids. My daughters are in their bedroom and I like, I kicked the door open and then I turned the light on. And they're like, this is why you suck. Don't piss me off. There are some cheap V -dubs and they don't care. Well, okay. Well, apparently you know, I was talking shit about Volkswagen.

Speaker: Apparently the problem with Volkswagen is they re -badge a fucking Jetta and they're like, it's an Audi, buy it for twice as much money. Because Volkswagen holds Audi and it owns Lamborghini. I'll never buy a Volkswagen just because my Asian friend likes them.

Speaker: just as a nice fuck you fuck you fuck you and your cream of young some guy bastard switch switch phones over here why do you hate Volkswagen's what's your problem with Volkswagen's I who me yeah and in the short and condensed version they

Speaker: They basically just rebadged everything. If you, if you pop the hood on a fucking Audi, if you pop the hood on a fucking Lamborghini, there are parts in there from a fucking Volkswagen that are. If you, when you go to replace said part cost you an arm and a fucking leg, but you can get the, if you know what the fuck you're doing, you can go get the same part at auto zone for 20 bucks as opposed to $300 from Lamborghini.

Speaker: Okay. Well, I'm going to, I'm going to go ahead and tell you what Brandon said. He said, I want a handful of obvious, all these, all these nuts that don't share with a VW platform. I like the a six 3 .0 T and the S six, the a four basically is a larger Jetta. When you break it down, the a three is a golf.

Speaker: They own VW Aldi, Skoda, seat Ducati, Porsche, Lamborghini. And the other, I don't fucking remember. Mark said, that's what I'm saying. You got Brandon done fired up. I ain't done Brandon. Brandon said, if, if I didn't have a VW, I didn't another Honda. Well, actually, but

Speaker: I'd have another one next to it if I didn't have a VW. Also, I'm part of a local VW slash Audi group, so it's cheaper than a Honda for me to own. Brandon is feeling all sorts of ways. You done got him fired up, riled up. Y 'all should do a podcast together about cars. I am more of the old school car anyways.

Speaker: I don't be wrong, I like new cars, but I don't, I would never buy a new car because like I said, I like to customize my shit. Yeah. The brain is not done. BW is falling off a wagon. They don't make true sorts of cars anymore. Oh. What the hell did you say? What the hell did you say?

Speaker: I was basically saying that Audi, Audi is basically a rebadged fucking Volkswagen. The last fun BMW they made was up through 2006. Now they are trash except for the true M model anyways. The best BMW ever made was the X6. That thing's awesome. It's an SUV, but it handles like a fucking sports car for an SUV.

Speaker: It's got, it's called, it's got a suspension kit. It's called the X series suspension. And it was only available on the X six. It is fucking amazing. And then they discontinued it because they're fucking retarded. No, totally right. I didn't say it. Brandon said it. Can we tell you another story?

Speaker: Oh, please go ahead. About, about my, about my good friend, the greatest Star Trek character of all time. Chewbacca. It's to me. Well, that was Mario. Mario. It's a real Mario from Star Wars, you know. Jar Jar Binks was the greatest Star Wars character of all time. Meza Jar Jar Binks.

Speaker: Well, since you pissed off Brandon, watch me pissed off Brandon, because he's a fucking nerd. Jar Jar Biggs is the greatest Star Wars character of all time. And I love the fact that he joined forces with Frodo Baggins. To go storm the Chamber of Secrets. And no, no, no, he joined the forces.

Speaker: with Frodo Baggins and Captain Picard, and they went and they jumped into the closet of Narnia to take on the Queen of Hearts. And then Mark Hamill, the Mark Hamill was there, you know, Mark Hamill from Joker, because Mark Hamill's never done anything other than Joker.

Speaker: i can just i can just picture your fucking your comment feed you can't keep up with the readings it's all his friend said he is secretly he is secretly the best character amisa it's a me it's a me i judge i'll be me so judge our binks me so judge our binks it is bark said it sounds like a metro

Speaker: The greatest doctor who of all time was William Shatner. Jesus. We need to actually sit down one day and come up with a

Speaker: like that tick tock and do a series like that so that you can do the, the, the tick tock of that. Come on. Come on, Jar Jar banks. We're going to storm the Hogwarts castle with Mark Hemel as the Joker. Cause he's never done anything else to the town of Narnia.

Speaker: in through the mountain of Mordor all the way to, we need to come up one big story so that you can do a full minute pissing off every fucking nerd out there. It'd be hilarious. The mother of dragons, Jar Jar Binks, the mother of dragons.

Speaker: Like, jump on the dragon. Who's your mother of dragons? Mark Hamill is the best joker of all time next to Heath Ledger fight. I will put you dead in your mouth. Mark Hamill is way better than Heath Ledger. Heath Ledger is not even the greatest joker of all time, first of all.

Speaker: If you're talking about the cinematic version of Batman. Cinematic version, yes. Jack Nicklaus is by far the greatest joker of all time. I will fight you right now. God damn it, Jeff. You know better. Go for it. Go for it, dude. Because here comes, here's, here, let me drop some knowledge on you. The problem with Jack's joker is it's just a bit too campy.

Speaker: Just that's what they were going for with that. I know Batman movie. OK, most iconic most iconic Joker voices. Mark Hamill agreed. Yeah, absolutely agreed. Oh, no, you couldn't you couldn't grow up in the 90s and not hear that Joker and go, fucking a that's the Joker. Jackie's number three. What the fuck is wrong with you? Who said Jack's three? Jack's number two at the most. Brandon said.

Speaker: Who's number one and two? That's what I want to know. Brandon's trying to piss me off right now because I tried to piss him off and now he's like, he's getting us back for the Volkswagen smack down that we throw on him. Who's number one?

Speaker: Yeah. He said, he said Heath is the best. Come on, Yoda. Tell us. Yeah. Heath has the best movie. No, he doesn't. There's no better. There's no better line. There is no better line in the Batman universe. In the Batman movie cinematic universe. I know what you're going to say.

Speaker: The devil in the pale moon night moonlight. Yes Yeah, that is the best line That is why so serious is right up there, dude. Yeah, I mean yes, it's up there but Jared what it was the best trip ever. Oh my god. I Thought Jared did good. He was just a bit too blingy. Oh

Speaker: Well, I didn't like the fact that No and fucking Joaquin I like even register for me Joaquin. I don't know dude. It was lived the whole fact that everything With the the girl next door and shit that he imagined the whole fucking thing through Talk show and he was talking about

Speaker: Yeah, you know, I can't remember the exact line, but he basically told De Niro, I'm going to kill you and then pulls out his gun and was like, yeah. I know you're wrong. It was totally it was a good movie for what it was, but it basically just showed the mental decline of a fucking psychopath. Well, Brandon said Brandon said that Heath Ledger's

Speaker: I don't, I don't rank Joaquin. I like the Joaquin joker. I liked him. Um, but, uh, he said, uh, as far as Heath goes, his method acting took it too far. I still haven't seen the joker where you got to watch the joker movie with Joaquin. Um, yeah, well, you know, he, he's longest two hours of life. He's, it's actually not that bad. He, yeah, he's, he's a method at the acting.

Speaker: took him to the point of OD and, uh, and, uh, and a hotel room by himself. Yeah. With his finger on his butthole. With Jar Jar Binks. I stared at a Jar Jar Binks poster. No, but, uh, I don't know how true it is, but, uh, when he, before he killed himself, he like contacted the Olson wins or somebody was he'd been on the phone with him or something.

Speaker: Well, I don't know anything about all that. I was like, that's kind of a weird flex. Okay. So, okay. So I misread Brennan's comments and he said that, uh, Heath was great. Uh, Jared Leto method acting was too weird. His Joker was just odd, but that's the thing. And I, and then I told Jeff this a week or Saturday, Thursday, Thursday. No, it was Thursday.

Speaker: Um, the thing about Jared lettuce joker was it be a nerd for a minute. Yeah. If you, if you read the comics, the greatest, the cool thing about DC was DC delved or dove into so many different multiverses. It was like, yeah, it was a different universe that the Joker that, that.

Speaker: Leto played was a different universe Than the Joker that Lee Heath played. Yeah Yeah, you got to kind of look at it like that because you know And we've discussed this before I totally want an a bat fleck movie. No. Yeah, that's not Justice League. I full -on bat fleck So Yeah, so that's where Jared's

Speaker: No, we don't have to scratch off his, we don't have to scratch off his Joker. You just have to delve in or dive or delve into. Well, you have to understand the concept where, where I'm sure when they were doing, when they were writing the script for Suicide Squad and stuff like that, they were, they handed him the comic book series from that timeline of that version of Joker. Like we want you to be the, the blinged out.

Speaker: Golden ak -47. Yeah Joker as opposed to the psychopathic Joker of You know a full 180 degrees Well, maybe not 180 degrees, but a full 90 degrees from Heath Ledger's. Yeah, well, you know Brandon Brandon does agree with us about bit f like as he like after like I love bit f like this Batman. I thought he was great I'll watch that like to almost anything

Speaker: But that version of that Ben Affleck Batman, that universe, that particular version of said characters that they were looking for was ideal for Jared Leto. And the relationship between Joker and Harley was perfect, was spot on. Leto was good.

Speaker: Well, I mean, if you watch the if you watch the the the Joker or whether the Batman series where where the cartoon where Hamill plays Joker that Joker is a The relationship between Joker and Harley in that in the cartoon version is sadistic as hell where you can totally tell in the Leto version

Speaker: It's it's a loving relationship so to speak. It's not as well as as um, what's the word? Not as uh, I can't think of the word it's not a Doomed to fail relationship. Well, and the cartoon version is a doomed to fail relationship Yeah, well in the letter because it's almost abusive. Yeah. Well, I thought it was very abusive it was i'm talking about mentally in the joker version of because

Speaker: Uh, if you look up the definition of a Harlequin, a Harlequin has to have a master. And, and that's that, that was the whole concept of where Harley Quinn came from. She had to have a master. So Braden said, looking at it this way, Bruce Wade is the bully there with bail version. He had to rough his voice. Aflac version of Bruce puts his money in a pot.

Speaker: and digitizes his voice. How else would you disguise your voice properly? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm trying to properly live off concert. No, I love that flex version, but no, like that, that relationship between Pattinson. Yeah. I'm curious to see the version of it looks dark. Leto.

Speaker: Yeah. The version of Leto and, and, uh, and, uh, and, uh, Margaret, Margaret, Margaret, Robbie was probably the best, uh, in my opinion, the best version of their relationship because Joker is very manipulative, but he's also very physical. So he played both parts and that's, I do kind of like Leto.

Speaker: And if anybody has seen the Justice League Schneider cut, there's a part in that where you see Leto as the Joker.

Speaker: in the post -apocalyptic era, so to say, where he's with Batman, but he's not really with Batman. He's still playing his game. And that's what I like about him. But you know, it is what it is. We could go on for days and days. Pete Pledger was a great joker, Jack Nicklaus. Well, they all have their place.

Speaker: I'll put it that way. They all have their place and putting them in a certain order is a personal preference. Yeah. You know, there, there is no real correct order. It's just like a Red Bull to make it through. Yeah. The brain is said the slider cut is, uh, I don't know. There's a lot of zeros. I'm just going to say a billion times better than the original release.

Speaker: I need to download Snyder Snyder cut so I can watch it. It's four hours. It's four hours. The way you fucking talk about it, like it's fucking citizen fucking Kane. It's four hours. It's four hours and some change. But at the end of the four hours, you're like, I want more. I don't know about that.

Speaker: No, on that note, sir, I do have to get going. It is getting late. Oh, shit, said you have to leave. It's like fucking midnight there. It's the night where you in it. Yeah, not me. Not you. Yeah, 11 o 'clock. I need to go to bed. How the hell did you sleep through what happened the other night with all them barking ass dogs?

Speaker: That well, I keep the window closed. You get used to it. Oh no, I watched, I watched the spider cut of, uh, of justice league in one day. Yeah. I think I'm gonna go on tonight. Yeah. Well, Brandon's on the same time zone. You're on it's midnight for me. It's, it's 11 o 'clock for you guys.

Speaker: Brain is basically in Mexico. He's in Oklahoma. Yeah, but I have to get up at fucking seven o 'clock in the morning. Mark said it's five a .m. there, pussies. Fuck. Mark's getting ready to go to work. In the shower, go to work, fucker.

Speaker: He's in the shower. He's like, I'm still watching. He's, he's got his tablet wrapped in a Ziploc baggie. You got to work tomorrow, Brandon. Glitz was staying up for, that's what I'm talking about, Mark. I have to work every day. But you don't ever work. Tell any stay at home mom that.

Speaker: I will tell the stay at home moms to come in here and I'll tell them, you don't work, you whore. You take some dick and you pop out some babies. In your case, you gave some dick and popped out a couple of babies.

Speaker: I'm a, I'm a, I work, I work, I work 50, 60 hours a week and I'm a stay at home dad. I do all, I do it all. So don't fucking come at me with your bullshit. I do the cooking. Well, I don't always do the cooking, but I cook, I clean, I do laundry. As you stated before going live, get your cooking liver. Yeah. But, but I cook, I clean, I do laundry and I work. Yeah.

Speaker: So, yeah, but your kids are old enough to take care of them. Each other where my kids, 30 seconds, they burn the house down. I don't work weekends anymore. Yeah. Fortunately. Yes. Uh, stay until 1 AM BMS is Brandon. Shit. He'll stay up. He's going to go watch fucking, he's going to go watch fucking Hannah Montana for the next three hours. Bullshit. I'm ready to pass the fuck out.

Speaker: You just noticed my shirt? You just noticed that I got an OG Power Rangers shirt? What? Go, go Power Rangers, you mighty morphin' power rangers. That's the Dino Rangers, that doesn't count.

Speaker: My intro, yeah, the intro tonight. What are you talking about? That don't count. That was the OG Power Rangers, man. Was it really? Yeah. I don't know. And they said my shirt is badass level 1000. Yeah, man. Power Rangers, man. It's morphin' time. Touring the source rips. Mastodon. Tarsarotops. Paradactyl. Paradactyl. Pterodactyl. I don't remember what the, what was the yellow chick?

Speaker: I don't know. I don't either. Oh, yeah, man. You have to look it up. Oh, she was saber to saber too tight. Yeah, that's what it was. Yeah. No, she just said saber tooth. Yeah. She never said tiger. Dragons or greater than all are. So do you watch your four mouth? Tommy was a bad guy. Yeah. Sabre tooth, man. Yeah. Oh, gee, power. Yeah. The original five. Come on now.

Speaker: Poor black guy had to be the black fucking mastodon. Yeah, that's fucked up. Yeah. Triceratops, peridactyl, saber tooth, Tyrannosaurus rex, and the mastodon. Yeah. Mastodon is not even a dinosaur though. Yeah, but it was around in that era. Yeah, but it was just a hairy elephant. Whatever. Judgment.

Speaker: No, but I mean, that's kind of a... You're a real fucking judgey. You're a real fucking judgey. Yeah, it could have been a fucking raptor. Yeah, but you're a real fucking judgey considering it's Juneteenth. And what the fuck is that shit? It's Freedom Day. It's when the slaves were... Fucking slaves.

Speaker: Basically what you said is no I'm on the Morgan Freeman train when it comes to to that shit What Morgan Freeman said about black history month spot the fuck on What Morgan Freeman said this is also the man who played a role in driving this day easy

Speaker: Yeah, well, there you go. I'll send you the clip, Chris. I know what he said. Yeah, exactly. He was also the guy who was like, Miss Daisy, we're going to go to the farm. I'm sorry, Miss Daisy. I'm sorry, Miss Daisy, but we can't go that way, Miss Daisy. Basically, what he should have said was,

Speaker: Mr. Daisy. Stop backseat driving, bitch. No, what he said is, should have said is, Mr. Daisy, I'll be a good driver for you. I'll drive you wherever you want to go, Miss Daisy. Yes, I'll be a good one.

Speaker: fucking Morgan. I love Morgan Freeman. Don't get me wrong but. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta. Kunta

Speaker: Mastodon still existed in that era and technically a hairy elephant is still a mastodon. I'm just saying. That's what I got back up. I'm still saying it's not a dinosaur. It's almost like a kick in the face of a person that was the mastodon.

Speaker: But is it or is it not? It could have been a stegosaurus or or what's the long neck? Stegosaurus. OK, what's the long neck fucking thing? The plant eater thing.

Speaker: The fucking bronchiosaurus. There you go. That's a dinosaur. Nobody's afraid of a, nobody's afraid of a vegetarian pussy ass snowflake dinosaur. They could have been fucking raptors cause I'm scared of them fucking things. Fucking raptors are about as big as you are.

Speaker: Yeah, but they'll fucking tear your ass up. Yeah, we got to close it out because I can, I can hear my wife stirring downstairs. She's about to yell at me. Yeah, she is. All of a sudden we'll get that, we'll get that, uh, that notification that'll interrupt the entire podcast. Must be a gigantic.

Speaker: Why is that your ringtone for your wife? Okay. I'll give it. I'll give you it. I'll give you the story behind it. Have you ever seen the show Brooklyn nine, nine? Yeah. It bits and pieces. Okay. The captain Holt is a very literal guy. Yeah. Okay. And his mentor is the guy that did. He was the all state guy. Hmm.

Speaker: Yeah, you know, you're in good hands with all state, you know that black guy, right? Why would you do that? Why would you do that? And whatever you don't have anyways, stop it. Yeah, well, there you go. But it goes like this, Jake, they're talking about a criminal that's got a scar on his hand. And Jake says to the captain and the all state guy who's actually an FBI agent, he says, I can spot that scar from a mile away.

Speaker: And the all state guy who's just as serious as the captain says, it must be a gigantic scar, you know, or, or, and captain Holt says, you must have fantastic vision. And my wife and I were watching it and we died laughing because they took it as a serious thing. And Jake literally says to him, I was being sarcastic. Yeah.

Speaker: Mark, I literally downloaded that clip just to play it. So every time my wife sends me a text, I laugh my ass off. A giant fucking lizard. Now the best Brooklyn 911 or breast, best breast Brooklyn, Brooklyn. Nine, nine. Sorry. I was thinking about boobies. I was thinking about some boobies.

Speaker: Uh, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,

Speaker: whatever it is was the uh the in sync one oh yeah that's the man that's the man that killed my husband he's like oh shit i totally forgot about that number one please start number two onto number three

Speaker: Number four. Oh my God. No, that show, I literally, my wife and I devoured that show. She thought it was stupid at first and then she kind of got into it. And next thing you know, we just plowed through every single episode. That's the only thing your wife is devouring. No soft fall. Too easy. Too easy, sir. That was too easy. I can't, you know, I'm at the plate. I gotta take it.

Speaker: Yeah. If you don't take a swing, you can't hit, but yeah, let's go ahead and give us a close up. I don't know. I'm going to keep, I was going to say most of it. I'm not going to keep it anyways. I'm just going to keep it all because you know, it is what it is. We are, uh, 100 % English has left the podcast and just left the podcast as soon as it started.

Speaker: So does common sense, but whatever. Oh, I just got a Father's Day Facebook thing from summer. Happy Father's Day. You're an amazing dad. That's because it's midnight. It's midnight, Dick. Yeah, that's why.

Speaker: Well, eat my asshole and listen to this. Not until you bleach it. Oh, look, this is kind of sweet. It says happy father's day. Happy father's day, Glick. You are an amazing dad to our kids. You always have their back.

Speaker: I'm going to cry. Episode of Chris crying and weeping. You always have our kids. Yeah. You always have our kids back or you always have their back under percent and you put their knees before your own.

Speaker: Thank you for loving Parker and treating him as your own. We love you to the Buddha back and there's video. Oh, I can't turn it up. Hold on.

Speaker: It's okay. The kids and I both have a little message for you. I just want to say happy Father's Day and I love you. And whenever we're in the car together, you're always dancing to some random song. That's my only thing. Some stupid joke. Okay. And somehow I'll always put a smile on my face. And I love it. Thank you. Yeah, and simply about you, that makes me happy and small. Whenever you're happy, you make a script and you're home.

Speaker: That's middle one.

Speaker: Oh my god, dude, I'm going to start. It doesn't help the song in the background. Oh, that song will make you cry. Just listen to that song. Oh, excuse me, I'm sorry. Somebody get Chris a fucking tissue tissue and I didn't even get it fucking. I didn't.

Speaker: You know what no matter what anybody says there's nothing sweeter than your kids actually showing a little bit of love Yeah, Brady said all jokes aside. That's her will be so yeah

Speaker: Yeah, that's that's awesome. That's the perfect way to end the podcast. Thank you. The podcast with summer making me sorry, guys. Again, we are 100%. Thank you, baby. That was awesome. Summer, summer. I'm sure you set that up for the kids to all do that. And

Speaker: As a dad, I know Chris appreciates it because as a dad, we try to do our best every day and we may not do our best, but I know Chris. I've known Chris for so long. I know he loves all of you just as much as you guys love him. Brandon wants to refund because of the cheer.

Speaker: And now that there's a shortage of vagina, we'll go ahead and wrap this one up. At least somebody here has my back. Everybody else is making fun of you. You're just like that. I got you, dude. Because I know, I know I'm going to get something similar from my wife and kids. And thank God it's not here on the podcast, because I'll fucking ball like a little bitch. Mark said, oh, that makes me feel bad for putting his dad in the hole. I want to put my dad in the hole. That's fucked up.

Speaker: Oh, that's fucked up, dude. Sorry. I do. I have real tears right now. I don't doubt it. Well, that song, that song, the father's love song that they had playing in the background, that'll fuck me up every time. That song and the song feed Jake. Mm.

Speaker: That song feed Jake. That fucking song will make me cry every fucking time. I love without an amen. Feed Jake. And that's my job by Conway Twitty. Yep. That'll do it. Those three songs. I become a little fucking girl. Summer said that we were still alive. And no summer that was totally fucking worth it. No.

Speaker: I'm an emotional guy. You know what? Judge me. Judge me because I cry. I'm not judging, dude. I you know, I'm not judging. I'm somewhat jealous. That's I'm sorry. I'm like legit fucking tear it over. Well, because. Oh, she almost picked Conway, too.

Speaker: Because up until the last few years, um, you know, it father's day was never a big deal, but that was because of who I was married to. It was just another day. So, you know, a couple of years that I've been with summer or that I've known summer, she's, she's made a point to, you know, like, like you said, as a father, you don't expect father's day where you can feel special.

Speaker: or that we're given some days for most people are just, it's another day and summer has made it a point to make sure that, that I'm made to feel like everything I do is worth it. Yeah. So judge me if you will. And I'll be the first to say, I'm not judging you.

Speaker: So the tears and the emotion are a hundred percent real. Um, yeah, I'm glad she didn't go. I mean, you know, I love without any name in that, like I said, that is the perfect.

Speaker: We, we got to end on that because I know right now you're not going to be able to focus. And number one, number two, that is the perfect ending to the podcast. Brandon is judging away. This motherfucker's got like 47 kids and he's going to judge me. Uh, but yeah, so we'll go ahead and, uh, we'll go ahead and end the podcast. Wrap us up, sir. I'm going to try.

Speaker: You do have really good taste in music, baby. Thank you. I love you. Yeah, that is good. That was awesome. Shit. Thank you guys for listening. If you've lasted this long, well, you got to see a different side of me that you guys are probably not used to. This is...

Speaker: Yeah. So where are we at? Yeah. Yeah. Episode 20 and nonsensical nonsense. Thank you guys for listening. Uh, thank you guys for watching live. Those of you who watched live, uh, thank you guys for, um, uh, judging and judging us. Thank you guys for, uh, commenting. If you, if you're not already, make sure you follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Tik TOK.

Speaker: all at nonsensical nonsense. Most importantly, follow us on Spotify at nonsensical nonsense. You can get every episode of this, uh, dumpster fire that we call a podcast. And, uh, if you want to, if you want to go ahead and email us, you can email us at nonsensical nonsense podcast at gmail .com and send us a quickie meme screenshot of Chris crying.

Speaker: I'm sure somewhere has video and screenshots and screen recordings and all that jazz, but we're going to go ahead and close this out. Another episode that went longer than, than, than normal. Um, but you know, that's kind of become the norm. Yeah. It's kind of become the norm. We enjoy, you know, we get into, uh, um, yeah, we get into our groove and we have fun. Yeah.

Speaker: So till next time, Brandon's going to go make a meme of me crying. Fuck you, Brandon. Brandon sent me the link. New logo. Just just go follow Bruce Lee Croy. I mean, Brandon Lee Croy on Facebook. Don't fucking make your right, sir. So we're out of here. Thank you guys for watching. Thank you guys for listening.

Speaker: I can't figure out how to close this, but here we go. We're going to do our best. We're out of here. We'll see you all Wednesday. Wednesday. We are out of here. Thank you, sir. Appreciate it. You too.