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WTF News: Makred safe from Diddy the Diddler

Nonsensical Network
Nonsensical Network

70 plays · Sep 21, 2024

Transcript

Speaker: Maybe? I don't know what's going

Speaker: We had a guy steal $3 ,000 worth of stuff. Geez. He went to the wind scrapper and still six pairs of glasses. Total wins up to 3000. God damn. Yeah. Breaking news. We got an idea, Steve. Breaking news. We got a glass, an eyeglass, Steve, in Keith, Ohio, ladies and gentlemen, be on the lookout. Put out an all points bulletin. This guy needed glasses. Real fucking bad. Right. things Anywho.

Speaker: What's going on, everybody? Happy Wednesday. It's that it's time for what the fuck news is a part of the nonsensical network. and the trick on me ah actually And if you're not following us already, if you don't know who we are, shame on us. And if you do know who we are and you're not following us and you're not watching us, a shame on you. Um, but we are a part of the nonsensical network. You can find us everywhere. You listen to the podcast at all at the, uh, what's up, man?

Speaker: oh Oh, at the non -sensical network on Facebook, Instagram, X, and TikTok. We can watch the shares live Monday through Sunday on YouTube, Twitch, Facebook, and now Rumble Studios. If you guys are a part of the Rumble community, welcome. Welcome to the non -sensical network. Welcome.

Speaker: Welcome, everybody. Hopefully you guys are enjoying our our brand of podcasting. And you can listen to us wherever you listen to podcasts. All at the Nonsensical Network or simply go to bio dot link slash nonsensical network. And you're going to get them links all right there, including a link to our merch. If you guys would like to buy our merch, Nikki, our head of merchandising has put up new hats. We have we were requested hats.

Speaker: So we do have the fitted hats, the flex fitted hats and the trucker style hats. And I seen one so far. There's a camouflage trucker style hat. And I think I want to get that one. Right. i want I think I want to rock the camo. So shout out to Nikki. And we have some more designs and shirts coming up soon. She just got her. I bought her a heat press so she can do shirts, hats, and cups with it. I got her a big fancy nice one. It just came in today. She's going to get to practice it on that. So we might be doing some stuff in home as well. Um, but yeah, give us a follow, give us a like, give us a share. If you'd be so kind, we greatly appreciate that. This is what the fuck news where it fits in the news and it makes us say what the fuck? Well, we're going to talk about it. What's going on Benji? Yeah, we was, um,

Speaker: Oh, i won And sure needs to be as long as I want it to be. Yeah, exactly. you up You're doing it. Mr. Big mouth. Put your money where your mouth is. A dog from behind that keyboard there, sir. Tuesday means it's two days to payday. Yes, sir. I sent you the video. I added it. Dang. It's just another community guy missed out on.

Speaker: What's too long? I got to put the stuff out there, man. I got to let people know where to find us and where to follow us and where to check out awesome shows like Men Caring for Men or Glick's House of Music or What the Fuck News or Cash's Corner. and we monarch's argument is ended We must talk about our merch because that's all we do. Yeah. Whose argument is it anyways? Nonsensical nonsense, unnecessary roughness, the NFL kickoff show.

Speaker: and Jeff's Garage, if and when that ever happens again. But I gotta put all that stuff out there because if I don't, how are people gonna find us? And how are people gonna know about these awesome shows that but I have put together and I have created and I have made happen? I'm just saying.

Speaker: It's hard being this humble, it really is. I smell, I smell ego. It smells like shit. It smells like awesomeness.

Speaker: So I uploaded it. got Got to put all that out there. this is and and but And the music is the shortest intro we have across the board. I also need a little bit longer intro because unlike other shows, i't mention hosted by other people, I actually share the shows out that I host.

Speaker: So I need a little bit of extra time so I can throw it all out on the socials. Sure. There. I got that video uploaded. It's the last one. I use that for break tonight. One of the breaks tonight. Uh, yeah. No, I do want to, I do want to, before we get too far into the news and we get too far into the show, I do want to send a huge shout out to my man, AJG. He hung out with me last night in Glick's house of music. Uh, we, we may or may not have gotten canceled.

Speaker: we We're still pending the cancellation. We're waiting for the rioters and protesters to show up at our door. Isn't that normal though? Yeah. but yeah I told him, I said, the great thing about the nonsensical network is that at this point we're pretty much untouchable. I said, none of us can run for political office, but we're pretty much untouchable.

Speaker: But we're pretty much untouchable in the cancellation department. But that he was cool as shit. His music is freaking awesome. The newest member of the the nonsensical family, so to say, he was it was super cool. And we'll probably be doing some stuff down the road again with him um on the different various other shows. ah So if you guys aren't already, go ahead and check him out. You can find him.

Speaker: at aj3 underscore 305 mr 305 mr worldwide i was just gonna say yeah not pitbull he's he's the wisp pitbull no no dude i i asked him you know but in the best way i was curious about his ethnicity my man his mom was i think he said his mom was 100 Filipino and his dad was half black and half Puerto Rican. I said, God damn, you got all the good genes, bro. So you got to be 70 and still look like you're 20. Exactly. He was like, I hope. I was like, as I suppose some of these chicks walk around 20, but they look like they're 40. I was like, damn, man. No, he was fun. He was he was fun. and And he had a bunch of his people in the chat. He's got a real nice community around him that supports him.

Speaker: They were in the chat pretty much all night long going, you know, and then someone, some of our regulars. Yes. Our regular couple of our regulars are in there. Um, it was a good show, man. I'm, I'm, I'm loving doing on Tuesday nights. Every, every show gets better and better. but And then, you know, the, the guests, man, I, I can't believe I'm locking in guests as quick as I am. I'm already booking into October. I'll fill October. I'll fill October up.

Speaker: Once I get, I need one confirmation. And once I get this one confirmation, I'll have October because they don't know when I can schedule other people. Right. But I'll have October completely filled up and probably into November. Nice. So I got people that are actually asking me to come on. That's some, what the fuck news for you right there. That's isn't that, but that's the goal where you don't have to reach out. People reach out to you and you're like, yeah, you know what? I don't like your shit. So no, you know? Yeah.

Speaker: yeah That's the end goal. ah Thanks, Mitch. Appreciate it. yeah Yeah. Hey, man. I want to come out of your show. No. Suck. You suck. Never saw that message. um You don't ask me. I ask you. yeah You don't ask me. I ask you. But but that's that's the the funny thing is like, you know, we started the ah show.

Speaker: that became shows and became a network, what, three, four years ago? And now it was a little over three years now we're at the point where people are contact you and be like, hey, I want to be on your show. Hey, I want to be on your show. That's, you know, it's, it's slow growth, but you want to talk about growth. I'm impressed by our growth. I like our growth. I'm glad that we didn't buy and pay followers and buy and pay views and stuff like that. I'm glad that it was. Well, let's be honest. We couldn't afford it if we tried. I mean, if I wanted to, I yeah i mean, if I wanted to, I could have thrown it into the budget, but I'm not going to waste the money on it. I mean, it's, I like the organic growth.

Speaker: I do as well. you know i was talking to I was talking to the wife last night and we were talking about the difference between um the easy way and the hard way. Easy way is like I could make a million dollars selling drugs, but I sold my soul to do it.

Speaker: Or if I didn't hook me up with some drugs to sell, I would probably sell some drugs. No, but it's like, it's like, I can be like, let the example i use the example I used,

Speaker: last night was if, if I got a call from some, some rando chicks, like I'll give you a billion dollars to fuck me facing me a whole weekend, a great, great me. I'd be like, when do we leave?

Speaker: But yeah yeah like if I made a billion dollars, but if I made a billion dollars doing regular, legitimate business, you know, like your, your old standard fashion, hard work, which am I more proud of? Oh, I'm going to feel pretty good. Either way. I got a billion dollars in my bank. agree I'm not going to lie to you. yeah as as a guy as a guy 100%. But if you put the shoe on the other foot of, if you're a chick,

Speaker: And you're like, I made a billion dollars because I slept with the guy. Yeah, you're a whore. Or I made a billion dollars trading on the market. um I'm different. I'm like, Hey, good on you. I mean, if that shit's worth a, I don't think my dicks worth a dollar, let alone a billion. I don't think there's any, I don't think there's any kushi out there that's worth a billion dollars. Hey girl, good on you. You got that good, good for a bit ah for a billion.

Speaker: My point is, what would you make you more proud as a person? I'll throw my pride out the window. At the end of the day, I got a billion dollars in the bank. My pride is out the window. Well, let's say it's $1 ,000. Let's say it's $1 ,000. Would you be more happy if you were like, I worked hard and I made $1 ,000? Or I did something? Well, I make more than that. I make more than that at my job now. My point is, my point is,

Speaker: Like, I wouldn't put a bumper sticker on my car. I made a million dollars because I suck dick, you know? No, but I made a million dollars on the market, you know? There's a difference. No, that's the thing. That's the weird thing. Elon Musk is like, I'm going to give you a billion dollars to suck dick or you could work hard for one year and make a billion dollars. What are you, uh, more proud of?

Speaker: Are you going to put a bumper sticker on your car? Is that not going to be a billion dollars sucking dick? No, but you made a billion dollars working hard. I'm going to put that bumper sticker on my car. I mean, am I, I got a billion dollars.

Speaker: at the end of the day. Again, again, I got a billion dollars. Yeah. I got a billion dollars in the bank. I'm not, I'm not too worried about how I got it or, you know, where it came from at the end of the day. Do you have a billion? Are you going to judge me? Do you have a billion dollars in your bank account? Yeah. Well, it's, it's, it's the entertainment argument. What color's your boo got? Yeah. I love that argument. Oh yeah. What color's your boo got it? I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you.

Speaker: from the sound of all the cha -ching cha -ching cha -ching from my bank account so oh my gosh i got a story to tell you so last i found this new channel on youtube and it's called um it's retro commercials right yeah i'm right there with you binge and i ain't judging you jeging single i i ain't judging you a single iota for hey man i'm like hey my man worked hard to get that money but You have to swallow more than his pride to get that money if you know what I mean. You got that money. yeah

Speaker: Shit, they buy a fucking bogati yeah the I'm going to go spend $200 ,000 on the Chevy I want. ah You were saying Chiching. i was we We found this channel on YouTube. It's called Retro we Rewind. And they show all these commercials from like the 80s and 90s. And I showed the kids that that rallies commercial where the guys like Chiching. It's actually Seth Green. And I was explaining to the kids last night that the whole Chiching was a thing in the 90s like you would read about. And they didn't get the concept.

Speaker: Like, do you remember back in the 90s, when you would do something cool, you what you thought was cool, you'd be like, cha -ching, cha -ching, cha -ching. All right, go upstairs. Easy, racist. How is that racist? Wait, what am I reading? I heard what he said. I heard what he said. Asian hate and calm down. Ooh.

Speaker: yeah been

Speaker: I'll swallow someone else's pride.

Speaker: Anyways, what's your, you were saying that you had a new segment or something. before I got a new segment tonight. Before we like get into some, get into a story or two before we, uh, before we take a break. I got a little bitty song for you, sir.

Speaker: And this song bity so it's uh, it's uh, it's about a to be little city. I'm calling the second. I'm gonna do this occasionally. I'm calling the second. What the fuck internet? So I need you to watch the first part of this video and then listen to the song. So I'm gonna go ahead and play this. have You ever seen a log on a log?

Speaker: Nice So I found that last night and I was like, you know what? I don't care I'm gonna play this on the show and I need to have your reaction So what are your thoughts sir? I do like the little ditty of a song. I like the song I want to know who that guy is and see if I can get him on clicks out some music now agreed um I actually sent it to you as well on Tiktok. So, uh

Speaker: Man, I don't know. He shit on that log, dude. I don't think she actually did. It looked like a brownie that was mashed up and she dropped it. But yeah what the fuck? what There's another video out there, and I don't have it, where where the guy, he's standing by a toilet and he, it looks like he shoots a turd into the toilet when he's like a couple feet away. And it's like, you know what? There's some things you shouldn't put on the internet.

Speaker: There you go. One billion dollars is not good. Yeah. I need to know who that guy is. I'll honestly reach out to him and be like, Hey, man, never been on a podcast. Yeah. No, you know, it's, it's one of those things. One thing that we know about the internet and that we know about whether it was vine, when vine was around in popular or with TikToks and stick talks come about or any other.

Speaker: It's the same thing with the the Hawk 2. It's all about getting a reaction and doing things a and for a reaction. And that's what that girl did. I mean, she picked up a pine coat, put it under her shirt. Whatever the case was, it was like, you know, we all got a log and, you know, most dropped the log. i You know, and I would love to see how many hits and likes and views that that yeah her original video has where like most people like myself, I just feel like you're a fucking idiot. Like move on, move along. You know, again, and I've been on TikTok. I am, I am honestly, I am not on TikTok anymore. Um, I very rarely even post on there anymore.

Speaker: you I know we need I need to but I just I'm so over I'm over the algorithm, we you know, I just I don't care for the idiots on the internet and I understand we're idiots on the internet too Yeah, but the the stuff like that that's cute entertaining stuff, but there's there theyre there the the one guy he does the shit's getting weird part infinity and That dude finds stuff like that all the time. It'd be like, if I stood up right here in the middle of the show right now, it'd be like, you ever seen a brick on a brick? Oh, just do it. Do it. Do it. But I saw that last night. I was like, oh my gosh, I got to show these guys. I got to show the guys. I thought it was funny. You want to entertain me? You want to entertain me, little lady? Actually, shit on that log.

Speaker: right I like, I like that guy's song. It was, it was a fun little song. It made, this song made me laugh. you know That I like. Yeah. that I like, I like this song. you mean hit the a four because rule but yeah That I like, but no, I seriously, you're going to have to like send me that video or find out who that guy is so I can look him up and I'm going to hit him up. I will see. later one how of So I don't know. I'll have to get on tiktok and look and see. I'm going to check you.

Speaker: I'll look him up and see if I can get him on the show. That'd be fun. And then' then I'll propose a challenge to it. I'll be like, what I need you to do is go back and skim through a couple couple few of the different episodes and write a song about us that you can do on the show.

Speaker: but i so I did send it to you and I sent it to Blaze and Blaze's reaction. She's a keeper.

Speaker: Nice. I just read it. I did send it to you. The guy's name is Troy. This is a podcast about news that makes us say what? Troy Drewberry. What is it? Troy Drewberry or Dewberry.

Speaker: D -E -W, Barry. D -E -R -R -Y. That's what this is. yeah i um I did find that hilarious. Yeah, anything else before we go to break? No, that's it for right now.

Speaker: and It's hard to follow that up with something funnier, although I do have a couple of stories. It doesn't have to be funny. It's what the fuck news. Oh, I thought that was funny. I mean, it can be funny. Oh, let's see here. Did you hear about the little girl who took mommy and daddy's car for a joy ride? No. Yeah.

Speaker: ah

Speaker: Where was this out of? from

Speaker: Say, Florida, I won't be surprised. Yeah, it doesn't. Not just tracks. Yeah, tracks. It just has been Cambridge. It doesn't say where from, but an eight year old. A little girl.

Speaker: decided to take her mom and dad's car on a 25 minute joy ride to target. She at least pick up something cool at Target. Mad skills for an eight year old, an eight year old girl cause panic in it. Oh, it's Ohio. Oh, hey, it was said right there at the very beginning. I just get them past it. Hey, Ohio, Florida, right here in Ohio. Um, also tried missing. Yeah. Uh, when she went missing, uh, but it seems that she just went on enjoy ride.

Speaker: The police arrived at the girl's family home on Sunday, around 9am, where they reported her missing. Her parents phoned the police almost two hours earlier when she was last seen. As the family and police searched for her, a neighbor said she had ring footage of the girl getting behind the wheel of the 2020 Nissan Rogue and taking off around 7am. The car was later identified at Target parking lot in Badenbridge.

Speaker: uh, over 11 miles from the girl's home. That meant she drove for about 25 minutes to get to that target location. Uh, according to the police, the girl, but how that's what she going I don't know. But according to the police, he reached the pedal. Apparently she was able to do everything.

Speaker: there you go

Speaker: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Binge. Uh,

Speaker: Um, no, yeah, it's, it's Ohio. Like we've said a million times is is Florida, Southern Ohio, or is Ohio Northern Florida? I mean, they're basically the same. Let's be honest. Um, the police report that the girl hit a mailbox when driving to the store. Uh, Bedford police also revealed in a statement posted to Facebook that she was drinking a Frappuccino when officers arrived likely from the Starbucks inside, uh, at Target. Hey.

Speaker: She wanted Starbucks, I get it. The Bedford police jokes, joke monster the bed yeah the bedford police joked that, well, I finally found a woman who is in more of a hurry to shop at Target than my wife.

Speaker: Thankfully she made it and was immediately located by the police. She was now home safe, not sure what she bought, or if she was even able to use her target app to save 5%. We did let her finish her frappuccino. We're not mean, said the police officer.

Speaker: yeah I can just see her. is she Was she jamming out the whole way? Like she puts on her tunes. but I just, I'm impressed. An eight year old was able to jump in the car and or or is this or is this a case of did the family adopt a little Russian chick that looks eight years old. Did you hear about that? That's a that's a true story. So this family adopted this girl that they thought was like 12 or 13 or something like that. Turned out she was like a 28 year old chick from Russia or Ukraine or whatever. And then she tried to murder them. Nice. Yeah, this just goes on. Punished. I'm just.

Speaker: um Untrackable. Well, he's a gatekeeper. Typically, we don't bring anybody up on Wednesdays. We do that on Mondays, Sundays, and Saturdays. yeah Saturday nights is we do the open door challenge. But you're more than welcome to be in the chatters box and hang out all night, man. We greatly appreciate that. Hola. Como esta? Hola.

Speaker: But yeah, I know. So that's like the real man movie. Yeah, exactly. Life -enotating art, so to speak.

Speaker: I can get a away with that. Yeah, Benji, she can't do the dishes or clean the room, but she could she could drive a car, go order to Starbucks and spend $400 at Target. No problem. Yeah. Piece of cake. I'm curious, is anybody going to get in trouble for that? I don't think so, man, because... Like, breakfast and bannum, like, was an endangerment? Like, you left your... body i Well, I mean, that'd be like cash coming out and my keys are hanging up right by the door. I guess that's true. Yeah. That'd be like cash. Just grabbing my keys off the door when Nikki and I were in bed and that's what it sounds like. She left at 7 a .m. So, you know but you know, mom and dad were sound asleep, enjoying their day off on Sunday. Dad's going to wake up and get ready to watch unnecessary roughness at noon before football.

Speaker: And then, no, a fucking kid ruined that because she needed a goddamn Frappuccino and a Target run. yeah I would like it should look by mean, nothing. I saw that. you like that show my foot yeah yeah That's how I get down. Agreed, Benji.

Speaker: um Yeah, that's, it's mildly, it's super impressive. i mean Uh, yeah, I mean, shout out to the little girl. You, you possess some sweet ass because at the end of the day, at the end of the day, she went 11 miles. My kids are like, their sense of direction is terrible. They wouldn't make it to the gate. They'd get lost yeah again. i yeah I mean, I don't know. Not only did she not get lost, she went to target. She got found her way or was she just driving them to say like, look at target, you know?

Speaker: Trump voters will get in into trouble more.

Speaker: ah Yeah, I mean, I got a 19 -year -old that don't even know how to drive, let alone an eight -year -old that was but you know took herself to starties and got a cappuccino. You know what that means? that That dad now has a DD for life. He's got designated driver for life. So he can be like, you know what? I'm i'm um'm wasted. Drive me home. Wake me when we get there.

Speaker: condition not wrong again ben ah Yeah, I know. ah

Speaker: Yeah, man. You go to like fucking B dubs to watch the game and get hammered. You can take your kid to be dubs. nobody Nobody's going to give you a shit. up on that you know It's not like you're taking your eight -year -old to the local pub with while you get hammered. It's like, oh, little Sally. Daddy had one too many watching football. Can you drive home? You'd take the wheel.

Speaker: I'll buy you Starbucks. yeah it's Stop on a Starbucks. We'll pick you up Starbucks and I'll drive you home. Just don't spill it. She hit a mailbox though. So she did, I mean, for her first time driving, that's not terrible. It doesn't sound like it was her first time driving. Let's be honest. I mean, she did drive 11 minutes down the road or 11 miles. ah She drove into another town and She sounds very grown up for eight years old because she went and and nobody at Target was like, Hey, what are you doing here by yourself, little girl? But there, there is that thing. Like it's 2024. People are like, is she a little kid or is she a little person? I'm not saying anything. I'm not going to cancel. Yeah. So, uh, I would have to look at her. I would have to look at my notebook. Hey, Chris, hang around a little bit. When we go to break, I'll get my notebook and tell you who.

Speaker: Who picked two for the game tomorrow? Because we did picks on Sunday. Well, this is true. ben Benji makes a point. You know, if you don't want your kids to drive your car, buy a manual. Mm -hmm. But i think I think everybody on the panel went jets tomorrow night.

Speaker: I don't know. I don't know, but but breaking news. Well, not breaking news, but... Oh, shit! We totally... yeah i why Yeah. Well, when we, when we come back from break, we'll do our fantasy football recap. Yeah. There you go. Dude. In my personal league. I'll say this before we go to break in my personal league, my team, well, my team and and our league seriously underperformed too, but in and my personal league, dude, I mean you only got 99 points.

Speaker: Yeah. I didn't break a hundred in either team this year or this week. I got like 96 points and I was playing cam last week. Cam had like 102. He whooped my ass. I'm 102 in my personal lead, but yeah, we'll, we'll, we'll do a little fantasy recap for the, uh, for the, uh, podcast league when we come back from break. And I'm, I'm already set to beat Brian. Yeah. I think i haven't even looked at it. I haven't. I haven't had time to look at all to look at it tonight or tomorrow morning. Make sure I'm logged in. I told. And then I was like, Holy shit. As usual, I completely forgot about sports, but I did win. I was proud of myself.

Speaker: Yeah. Cause, uh, But yeah, we'll talk about that. We're going to break, but yeah, I know Jesus with the news story before you hit the break. Yeah, we're going to, we're going to recap fantasy football. When we come back from break, um, there's your tease.

Speaker: But, uh, yeah, man, shout out to that little girl, man. I don't know if her parents have been teaching her how to drive. I'm glad she made it safe. I'm glad nobody got hurt, but damn impressive. I'm going to say. Do you think it's one of those things? It's like, you know, like I'm sure you've done it as a kid, like you like, or as, it as a parent, you like you let your kid sit on your lap. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've done that with all my kids. So, so yeah. So at the end of the day, that could be a thing that could have been, that's where she learned. Yeah.

Speaker: Uh, no, shout out there, but I'm going to, I'm going to say, I'm going to say new segment and what the fuck news rock star of the week. If she's our first rock star of the week, there you go. I like it. I'll make a logo for it. Yeah. Oh, rock star of the week action. Yeah. Uh, but we're going to take a real quick break. I'm going to play my man. A G A J G. His, his newest, his newest song. It's out everywhere. Y 'all, you guys can find it. Um,

Speaker: Everywhere you listen to music, YouTube, all that stuff. It's featuring, uh, Jay Valor who as of this moment, I believe is my guest next week.

Speaker: in puerto rican love fifty much Austin and her boyfriend just walked out. I think he's going home or he's going to his other girlfriend's house.

Speaker: Um, but yeah, AJG featuring, uh, Jay Valor with knock on heaven store. And, uh, we'll be back here in just a few minutes.

Speaker: footsteps a gently They don't want me dead, evidently Ask who sent you, they ask who sent me

Speaker: Fearin' that the fearin' just the inner voice Am I just a little boy knockin' a heaven's door? Did I spend my course searchin' for metaphors Tryin' to

Speaker: Knocking on heaven's door

Speaker: Well, I guess I'm by myself. There is is the rock star of the week. That is that little girl. um I guess we'll be right back. There he comes. um Welcome back, everybody. Do what the fuck do I guess, Chris? What happened? I came back and my screen was frozen. Well, that's weird. Yeah, I i don't know what we're going to start a week, buddy.

Speaker: but it's doing during the assault

Speaker: but and It have just did it just come back Yeah, we literally just finished flowering there for a second. Oh Well, welcome back to what's fuck news everybody not already. Give us a follow all Five dot link slash nonsensical network. It's all down there at the bottom You're gonna find all of our links to all of our socials and and even our merch shoes. We got merch off Um, before we went to break, uh, we were saying we were going to do a little recap of the fantasy football, because let's be honest, our fantasy football is absolutely, absolutely 100 % what the fuck because, uh, Jeff's in there, Connor's in there.

Speaker: And Brian, who claims to know anything about fantasy football, but he's like, uh, he don't, he don't seem to play very well. He don't do very well. He did good last week. He did guys. Well, he did see one, uh, his team scored 155 points. Yeah. well We'll run down the winners and losers. Uh, Brian took on Derek Wayne and, uh, Brian, Brian beat him one 50, 55 to 39.

Speaker: Jeff took on Justin, which is Cam's older brother. You guys know Cam from the shows. Um, and, and Jeff squeaked by, got a, got a sneaking in 121 to 115. I mean, it literally came down to your final guys. I was watching the scores. Right. Um, appreciate to subscribe on trackable. If you're, if you're out there still appreciate that. There you go. Yeah. Um,

Speaker: Connor, Wiped the floor with KM 155 to 133. Yeah. And then I won. I won, but I was playing the Hammond -Agers squad. But I'm really disappointed. I didn't even ah didn't even break 100 points. You didn't break 100. You got 99 .46. So this was a good week that i that I pulled, that I was fortunate enough to to play the Hammond -Cagers. Yeah, because I nominated your ass. Like, oh, anybody, anybody else, everybody would have beat the shit out of you.

Speaker: And I'm mildly disappointed that I didn't play you this week because like, I would have never let you live it down. Like ever. However, on your gravestone, Jeff beat him in fantasy football, uh, week, week two standings. There's a two way tie for first place. Oh, first place currently being held. If the season was to end this week, our number one seed would be fucking Connor. Really?

Speaker: Uh, he's two and O. Uh, the champ is two and O as well. I am two and O. Um, then there is a four -way tie between third place and that's Cam, Brian, Justin, and Jeff. Jeff is at the bottom of that three -way tie based off of points scored. And then in last place, surprisingly in last place, again, it's only week two, we got lots of season to go.

Speaker: Uh, Derek Wayne Douglas, he's 0 and 2 to start the season just like his Tennessee Titans. Oh, wow. So, well, we got plenty. We got plenty. of We got plenty of season left to go. There's, there's still lots of games to go. Lots of, uh, lots of football. We actually have a tiebreaker game this week. Uh, Brian and I are playing each other this week and it's a tiebreaker because we're both a one and one. Um, and of course I'm going to beat Brian. I always do.

Speaker: Um, I've yet not, I've yet to lose to Brian, but that's not going to happen this season needed. So, uh, Cam, Cam gets, Cam gets the week off this week. Right. And, uh, Derek, Derek, Derek is going up against, uh, honor this week. So, and I'm going up against Justin who's justin projected to win. So, so there could be a potential tiebreaker, but then also potential.

Speaker: multiple way tie for first place as well. Um, let's see what happens. But, um, we still got 12 more weeks before the playoffs start. So there's a lot of, uh, a lot of games to be played, a lot of football to be watched and a lot of football to be talked about. So tune in Sunday, new 12 PM Eastern time for unnecessary roughness with your host and Glick and Derek and sometimes camp.

Speaker: And sometimes Michael Bathurst, he popped in on Sunday, then he popped in on ah Monday. So he's ah he's been hanging out around, he's been hanging around this for a little while. That's cool. He's, he's, ah he's he's, he's fun to conversate with. I like, I like Bathurst. You know, he's out of different, ah different wavelength, but he's a good guy for the most part. What are you doing weirdo? What?

Speaker: make your changes these are a oh ah The boyfriend kicked Glick's ass and he needed a minute to collect himself. she My leg is bigger than the boyfriend.

Speaker: are we talking about What's going on, Leggy? I might have to read this whole story before I'm telling. Well, I'm up on Sunday mornings.

Speaker: I'm up on Sunday mornings and I'm up watching game day. So I might as well talk about football while I'm watching football. I sleep in all of a sudden. So there's our week two fantasy football recap. Yeah. Real quick. Short and sweet. Well, I have,

Speaker: I have to ask you a question. No. um I know you and Nikki, you guys go out to the bar occasionally. Yeah. Have you ever accidentally left her at the bar? Like, get all the way home and go, oh, shit, I left her at the bar? I mean, I've wanted to, but but I never talked to her. Well, a man in Florida He did this, he accidentally left the his his girlfriend at the bar. She was arrested after he came back to pick her up because she threw steak knives at him after she he left her at the bar. Oh, after? Yeah, she he he he got all the way home and he's like, oh shit, she's still at the bar. So he goes all the way back to pick her up and she's mad because she's like, how could you fucking forget I was here?

Speaker: you They're at the bar, and they're going to bounce around the room talking to people. And he forgot. You ever forget? Happen to him. I'm going to say Austin.

Speaker: austin Austin. Can we get a rusty, please? and I'm going to say justifiable stabbing. Well, she didn't stab him. She just threw steak knives at him. Well, had she stabbed him, it's justifiable. Oh, agreed.

Speaker: uh did he get stabbed by the said knife that was thrown at him so she threw several steak knives and a bottle opener at him did any of them hit him or was he injured no i think he missed i think she missed she was okay well i don't see what the problem is here very much like nicki she can't throw an axe this woman can't apparently can't throw a steak knife um but she was arrested if you cannot throw an axe all right yeah She was arrested and charged with an aggressive battery and domestic battery.

Speaker: Wow. David Cameron left his kids at the pump. That's a little bit different story. Yeah. I'm going to say, I'm going to, I'm going to have to say no harm, no foul. I mean,

Speaker: I mean, yeah, she well, apparently, apparently what happened was and and this story was a bit bit misleading. I'm reading it now. The victim told police that he and Keller, which is the woman that was arrested, were at the bar together. He said that he wanted to leave, but she refused. So he went home and then OK, so he so he didn't he didn't just forget about her. He was like, hey, I'm ready to go home.

Speaker: And she's like, no, and she was like, he's like, fuck you. I'm leaving. Okay. Well, you know what? I, I, I, I take back what I said. Yeah. She's the crazy one in this situation. yeah that i'm all yeah I would feel the same way. So please let her say that the Keller, the woman that was arrested later met up with a man at his home and that's where things turned ugly.

Speaker: Debbie's going to grab three steak knives and a bottle over attack. I'm going to really need you to come a little bit, uh, like, you know, do a little bit more preparing so that you can give me the full story. It says, it says the tagline here is that he forgot her at the bar. So as you read the story, it's a little different that's all facts. Binge, if an eight -year -old can grab target, you could take me to the bar. Yeah. You're the prime minister. Yeah. No, no. So, so, so he was like, Hey, I'm ready to go home. And she was like, I'm still buying. I to go home and then she,

Speaker: she either ubered or taxied or whatever she got home, she grabbed three steak knives and a bottle over her and started throwing them at him for leaving her at the bar. Cause he was like, I got to go to work tomorrow. Let's go home. And she's like, fuck you. I'm having fun. Sounds like we would have had a justified shooting if you would have shot her. Agreed. But, uh,

Speaker: Shout out to Florida. Yeah, the way you made it sound is like he like, he like legit just forgot her at the bar. like Well, and that's what it said in the article. It said, it said man forgets wife at bar and then she attacked him. Well, that's not what happened. So terrible news reporter. But yeah, she she went home, grabbed three steak knives and a bottle opener. I think she just had the bottle opener in her hand. She ran out of knives. but She, she started chucking at me. Right. I do my best driving. and I do my best drinking when when someone's driving and driving. Great. Well, it was, it made the news. That's why it's news. The domestic, domestic violence will make the news. Uh, it's, ah yeah, like I said, it sounds, you know, it sounds like, um,

Speaker: It sounds like married to a crazy person.

Speaker: Like, huge red flag, let's be honest. Like, she can't respect that the fact that the dude had to go to work in the morning, and he's like, I gotta go home, I gotta get to bed.

Speaker: Well, it's Florida, so it's normal as well. um Wow. Yeah, that's Florida.

Speaker: um but Yeah, go ahead. so it's not going You'd be surprised. you You'd be surprised at how many, uh, how many of those types of stories are in the news. Uh, it's either plus no, like it's time to stop going. yeah Plus nobody wants to hear about fucking politics. And I'm so tired of hearing about God damn politics.

Speaker: Uh, so from, from, from, from, from domestic but violence to, uh, domestic bullets in Philadelphia, uh, uh, a couple were feeling a little Randy decided to pull over. Yeah. I decided to pull over and, uh, you know, right in the old backseat of the Range Rover.

Speaker: Well,

Speaker: Billy couple having sex in their Range Rover accidentally gets car rolled into the river. Nice. Handbrake. Very important. Yes. Emergency brakes are there for a reason, and folks. Just saying. Yeah. Yeah. that That previous story, it sounds like it's it's time to have the breakup conversation and just go your separate ways at the end of the day. Move the line.

Speaker: A Philly couple's vehicle ended up in the river while they were being intimate in the backseat. Can you imagine? um Fox 29 reports that a that the pair were in the middle of fooling around in the backseat of a 2020 Range Rover. Nice car. Nice big car. You know, plenty of room to get you a little freak home. When the woman accidentally hit the gear shift,

Speaker: accidentally hit the gear shift. Damn. What the hell are y 'all doing? Let's try page 104. Let's justs do page 104 of the Karmasutra. Karmasutra. The Karmasutra. See what I did there. ah They and the SUV ended up in the... ah Man, Philly, why do you do this to me? Shollykill River.

Speaker: Uh, on Wednesday morning at around 4 .45 AM, um, Philadelphia police later told TMZ that the two were enjoying each other's company during the incident. They luckily got out of the vehicle while it was in the water and didn't sustain any injuries. The, uh, submerged was all wet. Yes, she was. Yeah. You can, uh, can you imagine explaining how you can see that? but There's the car in the water.

Speaker: Wow. I love this new camera. You can actually see pictures I show. Yeah. Uh, can you imagine explaining that to your insurance company? Damn lady. Right. I was like, everybody calls me. See feet all the way up on the ceiling. Oh, dang. Yo.

Speaker: Volvos, where's there's the tagline for the new Volvo, right there. Front, pass your seat, feet up on the ceiling. Volvo, for everyone. Volvo. Wet, but not like, yeah. I mean, I mean, it was a double the wetness, double your pleasure. I mean, I you mean i know. i Man. I would love to be the insurance adjuster.

Speaker: And be like, so how did this happen? That's exactly what I was thinking. Like, how do you file an insurance claim on this? And does the insurance company does, does the insurance company accept? And yeah, will they cover, will they accept the claim? It wasn't an an accident, technically.

Speaker: thank check check Technically, yes. It was a but but if freak accident. Yeah, they were pretty sorry. Well, here's my other question. Why was the car... How is it so easy to put the car in gear? Like, okay, so... Well, I mean, so I don't know anything about Range Rovers. I'm assuming and maybe this Range Rover was a manual and she kicked it into gear. No, no. It's 2020. No, because here's the thing.

Speaker: new Range Rovers do not come in manual. Range Rover put rid of the manual. You got to push the fucking brake pedal to actually take it out of park. Yeah. Well, so I mean, unless he's using the brake pedal for leverage. may and not like but I don't know. Maybe I had one of those push buttons. I don't know. I'm going to go with it with probably a manual. I'm just saying.

Speaker: I don't think so. I'm going to say ah maybe it. was Maybe it was a manual. but what I would imagine if there's any cars.

Speaker: Now, Range Rovers aren't manual anymore. Like, you would pay like $10 ,000. I'm sure you can special order it. Yeah. I don't think you're going to pay that much more to get it manual. Considering it doesn't exist? Like, most cars, most car companies don't offer manual, especially in SUVs.

Speaker: Yes, some models are available in manual transmission, ah including the Range Rover Evo Q, the ED4150PS model, da turbo diesel, the original classic Range Rover, used Land Rover. Yeah, I saw everything I'm looking at here. That makes a good point. If it's manual, you in order to actually get it to pop into gear, you got to put the foot on the gloves.

Speaker: Not always. You don't have to, you don't have to push the clutch in to shift it into gear. and That's fact. Cause like you could shell it through. I mean, i know I know. But if it's a manual, I don't have the emergency brake on if you're part of it.

Speaker: I don't know. Why not? Maybe they thought they were good. I don't know, man. I i didn't know. I don't know. I highly doubt they got they got it manual. but But my other thing is is like, it's an SUV. That backseat folds down. Why are you even remotely close to the gear ship? Maybe she was clumsy. Maybe. I'm just saying. and Unfortunately, they did not they did not go into detail on how it

Speaker: Give us a play -by -play. Give us a play -by -play. um Well, from but wild crazy sex in a car to things you can fight a kangaroo, I got a contest for you. I know I can fight a kangaroo. Well, I got a contest. How are you fighting Burmese pythons?

Speaker: I don't know if I want to fight a snake, but I mean. Well, a Florida man removes 20 from the Everglades and wins a contest.

Speaker: Ronald Kiger Kiger Kiger won $10 ,000 in a Florida Python challenge. Grand prize was the annual 10 day hunt. And he went out into the Everglades. OK, so it was a hunt and and and Pythons are an invasive So in Florida, pythons are an invasive species and people they so they're you are allowed to go out and kill them and turn them in for rewards and everything else so Yes, I would go out and hunt a Burmese Python with ease Yeah, this dude. I don't think he's out there. I don't

Speaker: ah Yeah, but he's not out there going hand -to -hand combat with a Burmese Python. He's going out there and probably killing them. and So you know i got I got a challenge for you next year, buddy. Yes, they they they they are specific the Burmese Pythons down in Florida. That is specific. um So this contest happens every year. It is. He wins a follow the following.

Speaker: It's a 10 day hunt in which 800 people from 33 states and Canada competed to win a prize money, totaling $25 ,000. The winner, winnings are divided among competitors in the contest, three categories. There's novice professional and military. Yeah. So you're, you're actually hunting them. So they're probably bringing them back dead. Is there a size requirement on the pythons that you kill? or It doesn't say.

Speaker: I can wrangle up 20 babies like right now. Right. ah Agreed. Um, so this, this guy is a contractor from South Florida, uh, water management district. Um,

Speaker: he won $25 ,000 prize for kitchen, 19 pythons in the professional category. Oh, gotcha. Like, Maybe it does. Maybe the bar means you're skilled trained fighters. I didn't know where he was going with this. Regardless of category, they have a minimum of size, nine feet, 11 inches. Okay. Again, not hard to find in Florida. Agreed.

Speaker: But there's a guy on YouTube that I watched from time to time and he's down in Florida and he hunts pythons. And well the reason why they do this is that the female Python can lay 50 to a hundred eggs at a time. And as you said, invasive species. So while they were, they were introduced into the Florida Everglades years back by some jackass who was like, I'm going to get a bet ah pet Hermes Python and not realizing that they can grow up to like 20 feet long or whatever.

Speaker: And the state got too big and he was like, Oh, out the door, you go a little buddy. And the environment's perfect for him to survive and thrive in. So they, they've, they've kind of just taken over down in Florida, much like the iguanas, you know, iguanas were introduced in the Florida and their invasive. I mean, we, we've talked about oh there are everything that got that, that got arrested because he shot one because it bit him. And I'm like, wait a minute. I thought Florida was a standard ground state, a fucking dinosaur bit a guy.

Speaker: So this this year's hunt, they captured 993 snakes. And by next year, they're hoping to catch a thousand. That doesn't sound like a lot. I agree. That doesn't sound like a lot considering 800 people went out hunting. No, I mean, that's a little over a hundred a person. Yeah. A little under a hundred a person, whatever.

Speaker: But yeah, and he says he do he does love doing this. He's found himself a purpose. He's like, that's my purpose in life, to cut up iPhones. Great. Ask for every seat, I guess.

Speaker: Bunch of snakes.

Speaker: Oh, okay. so So believe it was a hurricane that destroyed a facility that had a bunch of snakes and that's how they got out.

Speaker: So they were actually introduced into Florida in the seventies and eighties through the pet trade and are now considered invasive species. They were brought into the United States as exotic pets, especially during the eighties when exotic pet trains was blue, was, was booming.

Speaker: Some owners released the snakes into the wild after they grew too large to handle or the snakes escaped on their own. So there could have been an issue with that. But the the yeah, i I thought I was right on the. I thought I was right on the. Yeah, pythons can grow over 18 feet and like so. I mean, they eat they mammals, birds, reptiles, amphibians, they basically eat do anything they can and want. It's one of those moments. How do you have you seen the cat?

Speaker: Honey? To prevent the spread of invasive species in Florida? Number one, number one and one way to prevent them. Don't release your exotic pets into the wild. Agreed. Or better yet, don't get an exotic pet. What's wrong with having a dog? Or a cat? And that comes from historychannel .com.

Speaker: so you I'm just saying if you want to be different, get a rare breed mixed dog. Don't get a snake or an alligator or something stupid. There was there was there was a they say they do, however, say that most experts believe that the pythons established a reproducing population and in Everglades sometime after Hurricane Andrew.

Speaker: hit. It was a cat five, um, which was in the eighties that devastated the state. 92. It was during that storm that a Python breeding facility was destroyed. So there was, there was another thing that could have prevented it is not have a breeding facility. Yeah. Um, releasing countless snakes into nearby swamps. Um, so yes,

Speaker: That was part of the problem, but the biggest part was that and exotic pet trade. I'm just saying we start, I say we start a GoFundMe and Glick goes and hunts pythons next year in this competition. um I'm down for it. I'll go hunt pythons. ah you like We'll start a GoFundMe to give you gas money and and lodging while you're there, because it's a 10 -day hunt. So you go out for 10 days into the into the wild and come back with a bunch of snakes.

Speaker: You can be John Voight in Anaconda. I'm going to get me a fucking python rat for my cowboy hat. Like Arliss has a rattlesnake on his. Right. I'm going to come back and I'll be like, I'm going to make everybody. You can have a snakeskin belt. You can recover your championship belt with snakeskin. I'm not mad at that. Yeah. Look cool.

Speaker: Yeah, man. I'll get everybody on the network, you know, some snakeskin boots. I'll send I'll send Lady a python skin. Purse. Yeah, there you go. Or tote bag. No bag or a panty pack or something. No, I think that'd be cool. You should totally do it. Yeah. Yeah. lady I see what you did there. I see what you did there.

Speaker: yeah

Speaker: I'm just saying it's not saying a few things i just hate that. Well, here's the thing. The the Burmese side i have a big end. They can be dead. According to say, you do know how they you do know how they kill their prey, right? Yeah, they strangle.

Speaker: Yeah, they can. Another reason why we, should another reason we said you, not me. Because they'll just eat me holy. And I pull out my big -ass crocodile Dundee knife when they fucking tried to constrict me and I just start stabbing them in the head. Wrong squash, Snake. I'm just saying. You picked the wrong squash on the right day, Snake.

Speaker: Got the wrong one on the right day. yeah you know and i just but my I'll just put my suit on. If you beat this guy, let's say you catch 22 of these things, and they're at least ah a yard long, you can make yourself an expensive suit.

Speaker: but I do. How cool would that be if I had a snakeskin suit to wear on the show. I'm snakeskin tie snakeskin shirt. Got that got that got that drip fresh to that then it's the drip. You go. You go. Cha -ching,

Speaker: I'm just saying, I think we ah but down I was going to say, I think, I think hands down, I win that competition. I put my sweet ass, there's three different categories. So, mean so you go as quote, unquote novice. And then the next year in the swamp. Exactly. So you start out as in the novice category and then the next year you go, you go as a professional. No, I'm so good. They're just going to have to make a category all for myself.

Speaker: I'm already calling it. The squash sketch section. I'm calling it. It's novice professional, military, and squash. Like the baby used to call his shot and point out to the center field. He just pointed the points. I'm dragging 30. I'm dragging 30 of them out with me. 10. You won with 10. Fucking rookie.

Speaker: you know And I get a week to do it. Yeah. No, 10 days. Oh, 10 days. 10 days. Oh, yeah. That's that that's right. I think we between the two of us, we can get 10 a day for the fourth category champ. There you go. That just doesn't sound like a lot. 20 in 10 days? What are you taking time off? Sex just jump on the boat. We sure I do. Wake him up. He just hanged himself. Much like they said in Jaws, he's going to need a bigger boat.

Speaker: come back the first day and the ass into my boat is like sinking into the hole. What the hell? Do I win? Did I win? In a 10 -day span, i I completely eradicate the Burmese Python population in Florida. You're welcome, Florida. Well, 20 does not sound like a lot in 10 days. You know, when you win... I mean, that's... Well, you know, that's... that's

Speaker: do a

Speaker: debate I can dance if I want to I can leave my friends behind because if they don't dance and they don't dance with it no friends of mine I'm just saying one he does not sound like a lot in 10 days. Benji and click entices him with the shine of his championship belt. I just step into the swamp. but I just step out. I just step out into the school into the swamp and hold my belt and announce that the champ is here. All the snakes just like the piper of Florida number. I know he did rats didn't he did the piper do rats or snakes? Yeah, he did rats.

Speaker: Didn't somebody do snakes? Didn't there somebody from your neck of the woods like you that did snakes? Like St. Patrick or something like that? That was Ice Cube and I had a condom. No, that was Samuel L. Jackson and snakes on a plane. Yes. Very underrated movie. I'm sick of these motherfuckers. Motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane.

Speaker: yeah Not, not, not your, not your, like your, like your regional area. I'm not a hundred percent sure. I can't remember. I think St. Patrick's in Europe. I actually, he is Irish. I'm wearing Europe. I thought there was somebody who did that with snakes and folklore or history or something. I know the pipe type girl who did rats out of London. Hey, either way, either way. I'd be like the pipe. Do your, do your, do your, uh, Sasquatch mating call and they all surrender.

Speaker: Yeah, we give up. That's a fucking wookiee, racist piece of shit. We're not wookiees. We're not even related to them. We're not the same. Yeah. I'm sick and tired of these motherfucking snakes in this motherfucking ever going to Florida.

Speaker: Capture all the snakes and release them into like. all the areas where the, oh wait, that's all Florida, nevermind. I was gonna say, yeah, it's Florida, they're everywhere. I can eradicate two problems in one, the snakes and the dumb people. No, you know what? I have a solution for all these Burmese pythons. If you have a squatter in your rental property, just release the snakes into the property. Then you send in a Glick to get them out once the people leave. Yeah, yeah, man.

Speaker: I'm the new Florida man. Well, I start telling stories. Have you ever heard of the story of the snake man? He lives in. You better eat your broccoli. Snake man is going to get you. He's man. He's going to movie bad i like an You know, if you stand in the mirror and you say snake man 14 times, they'll come and get you. The snake man would all appear with his pythons.

Speaker: and and Pop him in the mirror and like all these snakes pop up behind me. snake man.

Speaker: Yeah, we had snakes like crazy down in Charleston. I don't see too many snakes around here. Well, I also I'm not like wandering around the swamps and the creek lands and well, yeah, let's be honest anymore. Like I used to not like they they run up to your front door. No, ah although they might for you because you are the snake man. I am the snake man. I'll try it some night since I've decided to do the show out on the porch while it's nice out till it gets too cold.

Speaker: You're a snakey, snakey, snakey. Yeah, there it is. That's that's that's what you do. You stand in front of the mirror at night at midnight on the dot and you go here, snakey, snakey, and the snake. I'll shit myself. I'll shit myself. Is that if as we're doing this show tonight and the **** snake comes across my porch. I'm like, yo, I got one. job

Speaker: Somebody get yourself, boys.

Speaker: goll put your cowboy out and You don't even skin the snake, you just wrap it around your hat. Like Shrek when he was tied him in the balloon animal. yeah yeah what Did you see, there's a video and I don't have it, um of a zoo. It's like an inclusive zoo. And I know, I saw this on TikTok the other day and it was shocking.

Speaker: This zoo has, they keep all the monkeys and and the gorillas all in one area. And this one capuchin kind of size monkey, you know, not very big, was fucking gorillas. And did you see what the gorillas did to it? It grabbed it by the tail and beat the dog shit out of it by slamming it it on the ground. Like it was disturbing. Like. let's just sit thats style one

Speaker: It's not what she asked for when she asked to see her. Hey, I'm outside Benji. I'm in the wilderness or something like that. I live in the state. You come up here. I am the state man. Yeah. You get that tattoo snake man of Ohio slash Florida.

Speaker: kind of like across my belly like tupa like like twopa head duug life I think like like like i didn't choose stick life that draws me and the the letters are filled in in snakeskin style yeah didn't choose the snake life. The snake life chose me.

Speaker: so I was talking about squatters, a woman. and so we're going take a break your with quick Right up here behind me, what you can't see is I have spike in Henrietta, which are my two new friends. They're the leader of my, my spider army that I have collected. Oh, that's right. That I'm built, that I'm building. So I leave that light on. So they get to eat really good. They've grown quite a bit in the last couple of weeks.

Speaker: Now I bring this light out and last night they were they were loving me because all the gnats that were flying around With this ring light out here They they were finding their way up there to that light and it was just like hey enjoy your enjoy your buffet. You're your male boys Yeah, yeah, I got woods all around me binge I got a big actually right across the street is trees Actually like I'm like a mountain right there yeah No, it's a it's a protected land. And it's all it's all wood over there. And then I got a big el I got a big ass field over here. I'll do those all kinds of wildlife that I see around here all the time. Deers and corn, set out some corn in the yard that we can me hunt from the porch.

Speaker: the Fucking champ feeling creatures big and small. I got to take care of my people. I didn't grow up with a family like some of you people did. I grew up with the critters and the creatures in the woods in the swamps. It was like Harry and the Hendersons.

Speaker: this is so Who was that? Cinderella or Belle or one of them that was ah was singing and all the animals were singing with her. The birds were tweeting along with her. Oh, that's like a chicken. Yeah, even even though even though like like I live in a, in a quote unquote city and like everything is right up there, less than five minutes away from me. We're kind of tucked away here in the corner, man. That's kind of cool. You know, it's, it's kind of a nice, even though I'm in the city, I still feel like I'm still here to crickets and owls and everything at night. So it still feels like country out here a little bit, but we're going to take a real quick Brazilian key break. Yeah.

Speaker: Got some, got some, uh, some music for my guy, Bobby Scott. He was with me a couple of weeks ago in Glick's house of music and did a little live performance of one of his original songs. And and I love the song. So, uh, Jeff went and doctored up the video and cleaned it up for me before we started tonight. So we'll be back here in just a few minutes. Here's, um, Bobby Scott with motel and cop cars, I think is what it's called. Yeah. He'll tell you in the beginning.

Speaker: We'll be back here just for you. Motel and cop cars. good

Speaker: She She's too young and he's too old. Every night for her, so she's told.

Speaker: Well, shout -outs when she knows she isn't right She was 12 weeks in long That little girl is said don't you push her out that door She's too young and hates too old She's so she's tall

Speaker: So Daddy did what Daddy said he'd do She's too young and he's too old And that pistol still feels as cold And in a motel room just down the hall If you were there, you could hear that hammer fall

Speaker: That one come out a little bit better.

Speaker: my song birdie yeah i did' you I love that song. I wish and actually now that I got the cleaned up video version, thank you for that, by the way. ah yeah I'm actually going to post that on social media because I love that song and I would love to see that blow up for him. And, you know, even if it blows up, you know, from from us posting it because great song, man.

Speaker: And especially in him and I had the conversation after he played it about being girl dads and having girls, uh, you know, kind of where he's coming from, you know? Um, so great song. Shout out to Bobby Scott. Go show him some love. He's on all them socials at Bobby Scott.

Speaker: me music i think or is it just bobby ah no i think i Bobby Scott music official. There we go. Bobby Scott, music official. Go show him some love, y 'all. Go give him a follow. Let him note let them know we sent you. Over here at the network. But anyways, welcome back to What the Fuck News. Hopefully you guys are having fun hanging out with us tonight.

Speaker: You can find all us and all of our shows wherever you listen to podcasts or come in the live show and get in the chatters box and shoot your shit with us. We do shows live Sunday through Monday.

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Speaker: facts I want to I want to get into something and I don't want to spend a whole whole lot of time on it Sure, I'm more just want to bring it. I just want to bring it up because um It's it's kind of everywhere right now ah And it is like a huge what the fuck Sean P Diddy puff daddy whatever the hell you want to call him. Combs was arrested yesterday. Yes, he was. And and he is.

Speaker: Taking down everybody. I think you're going to take out a lot of names. He on charges related to racketeering, sex trafficking and more. Here's where the rapper is jailed now. There was a huge bond set for him.

Speaker: After being arrested on he is currently in jail after being arrested on charges of racketeering sex trafficking Transportation to engage in prostitution ah He was taken into custody Yeah yesterday yesterday or the day before After nearly a year of an ongoing investigation include which included home raids on and several lawsuits against an alleging sex abuse and rape Um, the allegations came to a head in September when Combs was indicted on three charges, uh, on three charges and a judge denied a $50 million dollars bail proposed that his attorney, uh, his attorney put forth. Um, in the indictment, uh, prosecutors alleged that Combs manipulated women into engaging in an highly orchestrated performance, which he called free coughs. These are big parties that he threw.

Speaker: That also allegedly involved paid male sex workers for indictment Combs also paid the sex workers and the women to fly to wherever he was located at the time The day after his arrest Combs pleaded not guilty and his attorney Blah blah blah told people he was disappointed by what he called an unjust prosecution ah it's Sean Diddy Colmes is a music icon, self -made entrepreneur, loving family man, and proven, proven philanthropist who spent the last 30 years building an empire, adoring his children and working to uplift the black community. His lawyer said he is an imperfect person, but he is not a criminal. From what he's been charged with to where he is currently in custody is everything he didn't know. What he was, uh, three felony counts, racterean, sex trafficking, insurance, Patricia, um,

Speaker: um prosecutor also alleged that Combs partook in kidnapping, forced labor, bribery, and other crimes. they and the The indictment alleged that he ran a criminal group that carefully organized holmes what Combs referred to as freakoffs. Members of his staff allegedly planned the events from start to finish, which Combs manipulated women to join him in drug feud orgies with male prostitutes and filmed them to silence the victims after. Yeah, that'll do it.

Speaker: Freakoffs allegedly included ranging for travel for women, sex workers, and supplying drugs such as cocaine, meth, and oxycodone to coerce party goers into sex. The comb staff would make sure to book and stock hotel rooms with the necessary supplies and would clean the room afterward while I also reached supplying combs and delivering cash to the sex workers, the indictment claims. That's funny. Yeah. so I, there was also claims of him forcing, uh, up and coming artists on the label, uh, male artists on the labels to have sex with other male prostitutes and, and engage in sex activities and everything else. Uh, Guy's a fucking scumbag and know hundred percent I hope, I hope that.

Speaker: you know, as the truth comes out that they fucking bury him and they destroy. Well, the crazy thing is the judge denied bail, which means he can't get out of jail until. He is. Freed by. I just I just I just I just I just I just want to get out there is the first one to say it did he did not kill himself? No, I'm calling that too. Yeah.

Speaker: no yeah let's that's be on is Christmas Christmas lights Jeffrey Epstein and Diddy three things that don't hang themselves um and But no, I mean like what an absolute fucking scumbag and and um you know in in the let's be honest in news Guys this guy's been attached to a lot of names That could be exposed so the the whole Did he didn't kill himself? yeah That's a good call. Yeah. You know, I feel bad for his family if they didn't know this, his wife, his kids, you know, whatever. If they didn't know this, I feel bad for them. How do you not know? Yeah, I feel bad for them. Did you hear the audio leak? And obviously, no, I hadn't. I've only kind of been half -assed paying attention to this. ah Obviously, the victims, the victims.

Speaker: You know, I feel horrible for the victims. You know, I don't know how or if they were, if they are in the process of putting their lives back together. Um, but I, you know, I feel sorry for them as well, but fuck did he, and I know some people are going to come out and try to defend him and be like, he's a great artist and and much like his lawyer did. And he's done so much for the community and blah, blah, blah, blah. That doesn't, that doesn't excuse those acts.

Speaker: Oh no, a hundred percent. That's like, I give $50 million to charity to the children's fund, but I killed three kids in the process. That still makes me a scumbag. That's like, you know, John Wayne Gacy was a quote unquote pillar of his community. Mind you, he had 44 young men under his house that he had murdered and raped and everything tortured and everything else. But yeah, he was, he was a businessman. He was,

Speaker: you He would dress up as a clown for a charity and and parties, and and he did a lot for his community. But at the end of the day, he's a fucking scumbag. yeah the the And it good he deserved - The good does not weigh out the bad, let's be honest. So as as this starts to come out, and this starts to unravel, and the truth starts to come clean, and I'm not even going to go out there, and I'm not going to say if P. Diddy is found guilty. I'm sorry. there's there There's too much evidence. There's too much evidence. I'm spending here audio. There's a, so I don't know who this guy is, but DJ meek, not, which is one of, one of Diddy's homeboys, I guess. Yeah. that But super there's, there's, there's leaked audio of DJ meek getting the delegate way to put this attacked.

Speaker: in a sexual manner by Diddy. Hmm. And it's like it's unmistakable what they're doing in the audio. Because. Well, and and and and if it's true and if it's true. That did he recorded this to use as blackmailed, so people wouldn't say anything. Where's the recordings like? Well, and that's the thing. Are they all deleted? um Yeah, you know, are they are are they like, ah you know, and not not to go down to a political road. I'm just using this as a reference. Is it like Hillary Clinton's emails? They just vanished off the face of the earth. Well, let's be honest. I don't think the public should see these videos. No, no, no, no, no, no. And somebody of authority.

Speaker: like the judge needs to see these videos go, wow, you are a fucking scumbag. You should go to jail for life. And be that victim in prison. Yeah, yeah no way no way in any way, shape and or form should these be brought to the public's attention. Agree. but Well, they should be brought to people's attention, but they shouldn't be shown. It should be it should be noted that they do have the actual evidence right in the videos, but it shouldn't be put out there for public viewing because some of this stuff that's come out and in some of the stuff that's been reported sounds absolutely horrendous. You know, it sounds like some horrible acts were were perpetrated against the victims. So like I said, you know, I hope I hope Diddy's quote unquote empire comes crumbling down. and And I hope he spends anybody else involved.

Speaker: Anybody else? Co -conspirators or anything like that or or participants, willing participants. Yeah, they they should all be fucking destroyed and thrown into a cell and locked the key away. And I know there's going to be people out there that's going to try to come out and defend them.

Speaker: And they're going to come out and try to defend them on their that makes the podcast whatever. Anybody that's defending what he did, yours come back too. I'm calling. These are the same people who have come out and defended, a defended Bill Cosby, a defended OJ Simpson and everything else like that. Get out like, what's wrong with you that you're going to defend somebody's actions like this? um You should be investigated. Somebody should look into your, look into your, uh,

Speaker: Your web history your browser history. So I said, I don't want to spend a whole bunch of time on the ditty thing Obviously, it's disgusting. It's fucking horrible. Um, and it goes to show that You know people with with money and power can can and will do some horrible things and think that they can just get away with it Well, that's the that's the ah sad part. I mean, how long has this been going on? You know, they they they the old saying in the 90s was there's no party like a ditty party. But and it was brought up on another podcast um that will remain nameless. But the apparently people that used to hang out with Diddy back in the day would say. Leave before the good, the good part of the party begins. yeah ah You know,

Speaker: It was kind of like a gremlins thing after midnight. Get the fuck out. Don't feed him after midnight because uh, yeah, it's, it's some of the allegations that I've heard in the past.

Speaker: couple days, I'm just like, Jesus, I'm glad I'm not famous because I, you know, and it and it's to no fault of some, some people were dragged into it. Like Diddy was one of those guys that back in the day, if you weren't hanging out with him, you weren't cool. And, you know,

Speaker: you, you, you get roped into it and then, and then you get to the party and you're like, wow, I should leave, but you don't, that makes you as comeback. But if you get there and you're like, wow, I should have stayed home and then leave, then you're ah you know youre you like, wow, I fucked up. Let's get out of here. Yeah. But it also comes back to the DBA. Yeah. Yeah. If it comes back, you know, if you know, that's going on and you leave, okay, good on you. You left. You didn't participate, but you need to call some of them. you need You need to call somebody and and be like, yo, like,

Speaker: Somebody maybe do a wellness check on whoever's in there. Yeah. Yeah. Like this, this, this isn't a Faith Evans, but I'm anonymous. And just so you know, this is going on. You know what I mean? Right. yeah's you know like Yeah. you get slapped with that old GBA. If you knew it was happening and you did nothing.

Speaker: You know, the guilty by association comes in there and hits you a hundred percent. Um, no, I, did like I said, at this point in time, and as the truth, you know, at this point in time, lock him in a hole and you know, whatever happens to him, happens to him, he gets what he deserves. Uh, as the trial proceeds and, and, and, and the truth is coming out. You know, again, a, sorry, there's too much here to go. Oh, they're just trying to bring the man down because he's black.

Speaker: No, they're not, because it's happened to Epstein. No, bring him down because he's a skill line. Yeah, it happened to Epstein. It happened to Weinstein. It happened to the guy who created Hustler. It happened to Jerry Sandusky, all white guys, because they were fucking sexual predators and they were scumbags and they got what they fucking deserved. Not great. You know, it has nothing to do with the color of their skin. It has everything to do with the fact of them being a fucking monster.

Speaker: Yeah, they're they're a monster and they're a predator and they should be locked away or put down. The sad, the sad part, the sad truth is that money directly contributes to them getting away with it for as long as they have. One hundred percent. You know, if if it was you or me doing these just this horrible acts, but we're doing it on a budget of a hundred dollars,

Speaker: We're not going to get a wave of it very long, but if we got 50, $500 million, we can get away for a long time because you could pay people off, say shit. and I don't care if you're rich or famous or if you're just Joe Snow on the corner. If you're doing these horrendous acts to people, you deserve to be put down or locked in a hole somewhere um great at the end of the day. Um, you know, if you can treat human beings with that ah amount of disregard,

Speaker: and disrespect, then I'm sorry, you don't deserve to see the light of day, in my opinion. There's a reason why, there's there's a reason why ah child predators and rapists are the bottom of the food barrier or the bottom bottom of the food chain and in prison. Yeah. Yeah. You know, not saying that somebody who has 30 people is better than somebody out there. great but but you know but I think I, I, I, and I, I believe this statement. If he, if he does go to jail for a long time, he did not deserve to go to a federal prison where it's like, you know, playing tennis with, you know, no, you need to go to federal pound me in the ass prison. You know, well, I think Danny Masterson,

Speaker: from that 70s show and the ranch and movies. I think he basically got a life sentence and he's doing hard time and not very nice prison. So, and but there's there's apparently a, a, I guess it's, it's not a warrant, but it's a warrant by the criminals. Well, like if Danny Masterson's in my cell, I'm going to work that dude.

Speaker: Yeah. Not in a good way, like as a punishment kind of thing. Like Danny Masters has got it hard right now, but as he should. Yeah. But anyway, we'll take a real quick break and cleanse our pallets. Obviously, that is in the news. Come back to some penis stories. That is in the news. It is. We got a couple more. I think we got a couple more news stories we can cleanse our pallet. We might go a little long tonight. We'll go a little over tonight.

Speaker: Uh, but obviously that is in the news. It's one of the most, one of the top trending stories, at least here in the States right now, the P Diddy thing. And you want to talk about, yeah and and you want to talk about what the fuck. I mean, it is, this is what the fuck news. And that is a big, what the fuck. Well, and you got to remember Diddy's reach went not just in the music music industry, but the movie industry. I mean, how many, how many celebrities?

Speaker: including who was, I can't remember what it was. Somebody was telling story. I think it might've been Jamie Foxx was telling the story that Diddy was, he was at a party of Diddy's and Diddy was like, this, this party costs, you know, like $25 million. And, and Jamie Foxx was like, dude, I can throw this exact same party, make it better for like 25 grand. Yeah. So it's like,

Speaker: I've never been to a party that costs 25 grand, let alone 25 million. Well, when you're buying drugs and and everything, yeah. That's what I'm saying. If you're spending that much money in a party, it's not for refreshments. Yeah. Not 100%. It's not for beer. We'll take a real quick break. We're going to cleanse our palates. We're going to come back with maybe some more, you know up a little ah couple little fun stories. Then we'll get into the yeah the penis stories, if you will.

Speaker: Uh, because I do have plenty of those, um, take us to break. I'm going to, if you guys don't want to listen to the music, I recommend you listen to the music. But I'm going to go drop in on our boys at another shop podcast and do a break rate on them and talk shit to them because that's what I do on breaks on Wednesday nights because they're live on Wednesday nights at the same time we are. Um, so, uh, when we take breaks, I go pop in and talk shit to him. So, but got music here for my boy, James Luca, his brand new album, his first album, his debut album drops this Saturday guys. So I'm excited for it.

Speaker: Um, definitely looking forward to to that drop on Saturdays and listening to all the music from it. Uh, but I want to go with, uh, this is one of his older songs. Uh, and I like it. It's called, uh, dangerous, uh, featuring seven days away.

Speaker: which is actually his boy, Jay Bales. I believe that's his band. So we'll be back here in just a few minutes. Enjoy a little James Luker. Go show him some love on the socials and everywhere you listen to the music at James Luker.

Speaker: Don't touch me, boy, I can't do this

Speaker: I can't Yeah, James Luca with dangerous baby, let's go. Yeah, push up some love Like I said, he is everywhere everywhere everywhere everywhere everywhere Almost slap Connor. What are you doing? Him adding all his random shit and we removing shit making shit down and

Speaker: Anyways, James Luca on all the social medias and everything like that. Go show him some love. Let him know we c sent you his way. Anyways, we're going to jump. Welcome back to what the fuck news part of the nonsensical network right down below us. It's scrolling all night bio dot link slash nonsensical network. That's got all of our socials there everywhere. You can find us show seven days a week that you can listen anytime any time, any place, wherever you listen to podcast as well. All the nonsensical network.

Speaker: Um, we're going to roll back into some more, what the fuck news, what you got for us there, Jeff? You got anything? I know you were getting ready to do a story before I decided to, uh, well, think i gotta jump with a wild and we've heard about, you know, squatters, and you know, people not leaving people's houses. Uh, there's a woman in Fort Myers, North Fort Myers woman, a tax man with machete chops off part of his thumb.

Speaker: Uh, no. Uh, so Lee County Sheriff's office arrested Sheila King on Saturday night and charges charged her with an aggravated assault with a deadly weapon weapon. Um, she, she intentionally harmed a man causing permanent body disfigurement. Um, and let's see here why, um,

Speaker: She walked inside her camper and Machete started swinging ah around. Oh, a camper. And she hit the table, chopped off part of the man's thumb in this camper because he was squatting on her property. And she he refused to leave and clean up. Now, I'm pretty sure that like that's a little extreme.

Speaker: found Justifiable to me agreed um If she yeah, that's why I was was that's why I asked was she the squatter and the guy was like yo bitch Get the fuck out of here. She was like no bit are the She owned the property and dude parked his camper on her property it was like an empty lot kind of thing She ah du parked his camper there and he's like I'm not fucking leaving but so she went in with the machete and she took off part of his thumb and He fought back and she threw the machete down like he knocked out her hand and i'm always cut caught off his pinky toe too So I say that part's on his back Yeah, and maybe he should fucking move I was gonna say uh, you you you can't just i'm, sorry i'm on her side I am too. You can't you you you can't just

Speaker: pull up on somebody's property. You can't just walk into somebody else's house and claim it as your own. I'm sorry. I think it's bullshit that squatters have more rights than we do as homeowners or land owners. Because in my opinion, and and and again, you know, I live in Ohio. Ohio is a an open carry state. It's also a concealed carry without permit. Also has stand your ground. And they also have the castle doctrine, which means if I walk into my house and you're in it and I tell you to leave,

Speaker: and you don't and I shoot you in the face, well, then I should be on the right side of the wall. Well, these squatters have way too many, like you're going to tell me because some jackass broke into my house. I believe that's breaking and entering. Oh yeah. hundred percent Changed my locks. I'm sure that's against the law and then established themselves a residence. They have more right than I do. And I own the house.

Speaker: Like you're out your fucking mind. ah yeah No, I'm not going through your 90 day eviction process. I'm not filing with the courts. I'm walking in there with a ball bat and I'm ringing some fucking heads and I'm tossing them on the sidewalk. and And I think this woman should, you know, for for she's being charged with assault with a deadly weapon.

Speaker: ah yeah and which is understandable. She did assault him. But at the end of the day, there are criminals and in different parts of the country that are doing way worse and walking free. So I think she should walk free. Because ah there is there is a guy, he's he's he came up with a way to deal with squatters in a legal way.

Speaker: He will literally, if you own a property, and this guy's in Florida as well, if you own a property and you have squatters and you can't get them out, he will break into the house and sit on the couch and become a squatter himself. or And the dude to dode is like 6 '9", 400 pounds. and Or, as we talked about earlier, if you need squatters removed, just call upon the snake man.

Speaker: yeah that That's another thing. I'm just saying, you're important. Go get a couple of Bernie's pythons, release them onto the property and call it a fucking day. But, yeah, I think she should be... and the my opinion here, but I think she's it's justified. Yeah. Again, call up on the snake man. Stand in front of the mirror at midnight and say my name three times. yeah Say, snake man, I have a problem. And i'm a I'm a giving urban legend. It's not all about doing.

Speaker: scary, horrible things, I can do good for the community as well. I think, I think, um, you know, another thing you could do, you know, we have an immigration problem in the States. I think if, if you hire illegals and to, to remove squatters, if they remove 30 squatters in under a month, they get citizenship or, or, or listen to me, hear me out here. We have an ah illegal immigration problem in our country. We hire the illegal illegal immigrants to do the illegal activity to get the squatters out. The squatters are out of your house. And then we deport the illegal immigrants. Two birds, one stone. when Yeah. Two birds, one stone, ladies and gentlemen.

Speaker: We're fixing the country one one law at a time here at nonsense. Click Jeff 2028 for us. There you go.

Speaker: Squatch and garden home 2028. I do have one other story. You have the questions. We have the answers. I actually there's a new law in Mexico. Oh, and I didn't even know you guys had walls there.

Speaker: Oh, yeah, we do. The new law is this. um Chris, in in in the United States, and in most countries, if you want to become a judge, what do you got to do? Go to school, become a lawyer, spend years being a lawyer, be a good lawyer, maybe get promoted to judge.

Speaker: Yeah, pretty much. I mean, I don't know. I mean, I'm just I'm speculating my understanding from my understanding, you know, you hit the nail on the head. That's the i'm not that's the path to judge.

Speaker: I have I've got a lot of I've got a lot of tools on my belt. Being a lawyer or a judge is not one of those tools that I have yet yet. I mean, I may declare myself a jury and executioner of nonsensical network at some point. Well, the like the like yeah the new law in Mexico is anybody but can become a judge, but they have to be elected.

Speaker: Yeah, that's. It's got term limits. it Well, it's got, it's like... Well, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I get that. But it's kind of a weird wall, right? Like, you can be like, I want to i want to become a judge. So you run a campaign, and get ah you can be elected by the people to become a judge.

Speaker: So you can, you like, for instance, and as we all know that, you know, we we're talking about politics and stuff like that, a good campaign costs money. So if you're, if I'm a cartel member and I want a friend as a judge, I fund your campaign. You become a judge. I walk away. Yeah. Yeah. that's the concern Yeah. But I feel like that's already an issue because the cartel doesn't have police and doesn't have judges and everything else in their back pockets already. Right. But this makes it way easier to get your buddy as a judge.

Speaker: Or I go down there, I run for judge, and I tell the cartel where they can stick it. I'm thinking about doing that. Because I bring my legion of snakes with me. Yeah, because Mexico doesn't have snakes. Yeah, but they don't have. Yeah, that's the new law. They don't have 20 foot plus Burmese pythons that are under my command. But yeah, that's the new law. It actually goes in effect. Now I'm fixing Mexico's cartel and jug problems. I'm a giver.

Speaker: I deserve sainthood at this point. You know what I think? I think you and I run for president, vice president of the world. We can fix all the problems of the world. Yeah. Yeah. I think I should get a national holiday. I should be Saint Glick. None of us. Everybody gets the day off. That's pushing me. You're pushing me. Saint the champ. It's Saint the champ day.

Speaker: s STC.

Speaker: And now I'm fixing Mexico's problems. I'm just saying, it's like one of those things. it's ah this this This law literally, it got passed yesterday. Yeah, that's that's kind of wild. Because that's that's a that's a job and a role at the end of the day that you would want some kind of experience behind you to be like, yeah, I'm certified to be a judge. i can write And that's the thing. it's like criminal Now I, I haven't dug a whole lot into this rule. Could you imagine us as judges? Oh yeah, we'd be terrible judges. Like, like, like the lady in Florida, you know, that chopped the guy's thumb off. She comes into my court. I'm like, where's the problem here? I don't think she did anything wrong. I agree. You know, crazy lady throwing knives. Hey lady, you're locking up in a hole for a little while. What you think about your actions, you know? like Yeah, it's uh,

Speaker: There's a reason why I don't have power, people. but Well, there's I would have used the shit out of it. And that's the thing. That's the problem is people are going to there's going to be an issue. Mm hmm. Uh, it's. It's it's going to become a problem. I'm just I'm calling it now. Yeah. Oh, yeah, it's good. Well, as if you guys don't have enough problems with right, you know, yeah criminal activity and and and, you know, and and corruption corruptor robston and Yeah. And everything else in Mexico. I mean, everybody has it. We have it here in the States as well. But you're basically you're basically yeah, you're you're basically just going run amok. But you don't care. Everybody's everybody's going to America anyways. Fuck it. Yeah.

Speaker: Let it be somebody else's problem. So I'm going to do I got one more story here and then we'll we'll take another quick break and then we'll we'll wrap the show up with everybody's favorite penis stories.

Speaker: um Back into some more big dick stories. Yeah. lock pun good ah a College towns police department says they don't need help with cleanup after a beer spillage. I heard about this story. I saw this. Oxford, Oxford, oxford Mississippi, a college town in Mississippi. Words are hard. I smell toast.

Speaker: A college town in Mississippi temporarily closed the street after a delivery truck dropped dozens of cases of beer. The spill happened in Oxford, home of the University of Michigan. The Oxford Police Department posted photoals on our photos on social media and asked drivers ah to avoid the area for a while. Please use another route the department posted on X and know you cannot come help clean up.

Speaker: They nipped that right in the bud real quick. Cause you know, the college kids were like, screw skirt. Y 'all need some help. We got you. I got this. yeah I love, i I just came all the way from Ohio. I heard you guys needed a hand. Are you sure you don't need any help? I mean, it's too bad. It was, it looks like in the picture, it was, uh, Oh no, there's some Michelobalt, sort of Bud Light, Modello. Oh, there's my beer. There's Miller light. I see it.

Speaker: There's cores like, so yeah, it sounds like a delivery driver was delivered to a gas station or something to do. Just like one side of his truck just was like, he moved the wrong box and half the trailer just fell out. He had one of those, uh, roll up trucks or whatever. You know what I mean? oh hey Yeah. It just dumped out the side.

Speaker: saying It's worth it. Yeah. Hey, y 'all need some help. I got you. Uh, I'm an expert cleaner, upper of beer, nevermind the empties. You guys are going to have to clean up. I can't even, I can't even stand up. So you guys still got to clean up them empties, but I don't clean up. I did my part.

Speaker: i am ah i am an ahtag a give Yeah. I'm a giver. I like to give back to the community, Jeff. I agree. And I think, I think that's the way to do it.

Speaker: ah but

Speaker: Uh, see where we were. So we're going to take one more real quick break. That's going to allow me to get the penises pulled up. yeah Said, said him every day, every day. Uh,

Speaker: If there's a wiener on that monitor, I swear to God's do.

Speaker: ah Shit, if I can get now if I can get right if I can get back to the right brand. All right. So we're going to take another break. We're going to come back. I'm going to drop the penis stories on your head that will drop some big penises on your head. And don't threaten me for a good time. Yeah. And And then we'll wrap this fucking show right on up. let's two Let's do, let's do my girl Jules. Where's she at? I know she's on here somewhere. There she is. Let's do an oldie from Jules. Jules in the hall, ladies and gentlemen. Go show her some love. She just got back. Her and her husband was in, they took a nice vacation to,

Speaker: to Greece. they were They were out there. Lots of lots of really pretty pictures. It looks like they had a really good time. I think they're back home now. I think they're back to reality. I had to hit her up and see how her vacation went. I didn't want to bother her while she was on vacation. But go check out Jules. She's everywhere, social, everywhere you listen to music.

Speaker: At Jules and the Howl. And this is her song, The Howl. Wait, real quick.

Speaker: ClickHawk 2024, world president. Yeah. I'm just saying. The campaign has started. We got to do 2028 because 2024 we're a little too late. Yeah. Well, everybody else can get in when I want. once Once we're in as United States of American presidents or president and vice president, then we declare that we are the president and vice president of the world and nobody can stop us. Act. Act.

Speaker: I'd be like, Jeff's just itching to push the button. Give him a reason. Yeah. know that's That's a fact. yeah let me you know you know how Let me hit the button. Yeah. You know how these short people are. They just need a reason to let their Napoleon complex take over. Intrusive thoughts.

Speaker: a yeah There you go. There you go. campaign is started. Get your ballots ready. you You know who you're voting for. And if you don't vote for us, just write it in, just write it in. Vote for us or you'll get a visit from a Burmese Python. Hey, we just won right now.

Speaker: news yeah breaking news ladies and gentlemen and we take a take ourselves at one more real quick break we're going to come back with everybody's favorite segment the penis stories uh as i said here's jules in the how with her song the owl i like the song i do too

Speaker: Out of the darkness Embrace your disarseness

Speaker: Unleash the beast, fill the ecstasy

Speaker: Can you feel the hope?

Speaker: Yeah. maybe

Speaker: yeah Let's go. Jules in the how. Show her some love. Y 'all. She's everywhere on them socials at Jules in the how and she's awesome. She's makes killer music and she's an awesome person as well. Been a lot of fun hanging out with her on a couple of different shows. Con clicks out some music.

Speaker: But welcome back to what the fuck news everybody. We've, uh, we've reached that point in the night. It's time for Jeff's favorites. What do you want Jeff?

Speaker: know went the being a a I'm going to cook one of those. okay fit we're going and win over I need some penis in my life.

Speaker: but that yep and so i so i'm hoping it That's I'm hoping to do tomorrow. I've been ah bit ah bit of been a little bit busy, haven't had time. I'm hoping tomorrow I can get some clips. I can get some stuff posted up on social, ah you know, and and and and whatnot from previous guests that clicks out some music and get some clips from the other shows as well.

Speaker: um I've been real uh been real busy now lately so anywho uh it is that time and I we're gonna roll into some penis stories and last week we started a new a new list uh from Buzzfeed shout out to Buzzfeed man uh they come on some great lists they they have some really cool lists and and and And they put them out there for their, their, their readers or subscribers or followers and whatnot to respond back and shout out to the people who respond back. I know it's, you know, it's, it's for the most part anonymous because, you know, I mean, I know there's people out there that could spine these people, but for your, your, your average viewer, your average reader, you know, like myself, I love Buzzfeed. I'm a huge fan of Buzzfeed. Um, I'm not going to have the skills to to track somebody down and be like, Hey, I'm going to come on my show and

Speaker: relive the horrible penis story of the show. Oh my God. That would be amazing. Cause I have millions of questions for these people. Yeah. Um, but, uh, we started a new list last week and it's 15 big penis horror stories that'll make you give up sex completely. It's all about the giant ding -a -lings. Uh, which as we discussed last week, we don't need to have this discussion again. Uh, I think the sentence is the bigger the penis, not necessarily the better.

Speaker: Uh, painful, um, painful, not enjoyable, uncomfortable, just all around. Uh, sorry guys. You're just not getting as much. Poon tang as you think you're going to get. Agreeing like, like a small to average size guys. They feel better. Not about the size of your boat, but the motion in the ocean. Mm.

Speaker: Might be the size of a goldfish, but bucks like a whale. I had a buddy who used to say that all the time. Every time he said it, I want to kick him in his head. Anyways, we're going to go ahead and start right back in. We, uh, this, uh, this tearful tear. Oh dear God. Bent four, six writes in, he says, I'm gay and 90 % 99 % a top.

Speaker: But for some reason I was, I was really wanting to bottom one day. I texted my friend with benefits and invited him over. Ben says his dick is at least nine inches and thick. Jesus Christ.

Speaker: ben goes on to say Yeah. Ben goes on to say he shoved his dick in my ass for the first time every, and it literally tore my ass a little.

Speaker: I have never screamed and jumped up so fast in my life. It took a year to completely heal. Ouch, says bent. No, no, no, no, no. I think I think that yeah and and I'm just going to say this real quick. We're going to kind of say this in passing. We don't really need to go down the rabbit hole. If I were a gay man. I think I would only date guys with small penises. You know what? I agree.

Speaker: I don't want a hog. Yeah. Yeah. If I was gay, I'd be like, how big are you now? You're cute, but I'm not dating you. Yeah. I would date you because you love a little dick. You'd be perfect. I mean, we did. Yeah. We both have little dicks. We were married once upon a time. So at the end of the day, we kind of stick to our own. Having sex with you. Having sex with you turned me straight.

Speaker: You're welcome, ladies. Or I apologize, ladies, depending on how you look at it. Yeah, I agree. I agree. I would not be going after what is it, Dirk Diggler. Yeah. Yeah. If I was, yeah if I was a gay man, I would be a size queen, but in the, in the, in the reverse, like the smaller, the better.

Speaker: We do fit together quite nicely. like I like pieces of a buzzle, like ham and tuna fish.

Speaker: I don't want to try that. Like otters and barbecue. Yeah. Like he was there last night. Macaroni and hot dogs. Yeah. Rainbow. We'll move on here. Rainbow. Rainbow writes in and I don't know if this is a girl or a guy. We're not gonna we're not goingnna make any assumptions. But Rainbow says, I was hooking up with a guy for the first time in the shower. and Things were getting very hot. And then he went so deep in me that I felt an overhe it felt like I was overheating. I started to feel like I was losing my vision. So he took me to his room and we tried again from a more comfortable position. Rainbow continues and says, he went in deep again

Speaker: But he was so big that I fainted and made both of us fall off the bed, causing the guy's dick to get bruised. He was out of commission for three days because of it. Okay. And that's, let's be honest, that's too big. If you passed out from it, yeah like it's time to give the little dick guys a chance. You know, I'm just saying.

Speaker: yeah You know, it's time to go down to the to the minor leagues at this point. get out You're not ready for the major. Poor little Otters. Otterman and Mr. Sexy Legs Otter Barbecue Joint, opening soon in Miami.

Speaker: Last night I also got a new name. I'm Otterman. So tonight I'm Stakeman. the legend of the snake man. And last night I was otter man, all based off of my abilities to hunt down woodland creatures.

Speaker: Uh, poor little waters. Um, Julie writes in, Julie P writes in this double soda can, she says, I was hooking up with a guy who was six, four.

Speaker: When hard his 10 inch dick went past his belly button. After some oral, we were finally going to try to fit it in my vagina. It didn't even fit in your mouth. What makes you think it's going to fit in your vagina, Julie? Just saying. Jesus. When he went in, it was so fucking painful, I ended up going to the bathroom pretty much right there or right away. And he noticed that there was blood on his dick.

Speaker: I bled when I peed. He's like, are you a virgin? Yeah. And after a couple of days of being in severe pain, I went to the doctor. Turned out, I had torn my vagina opening, a UTI, and a u a yeast infection, all because he was too big. Worst experience ever. Once again, you ladies need to give the small dick guy's chance. I think she went to small dick. I think she switched teams real fast in a hurry.

Speaker: Bet you. If I was a lady, if I was a lady. If you're bigger than this, it ain't going in, motherfucker. Yeah. If I was a lady and you ripped my vagina and you gave me a UTI and I got a yeast infection, all three, that's the trifecta. I'm telling you, lesbian the next day. That is the unholy trinity, if I was a woman in my opinion. And yeah, I'm switching teams. I'm either switching teams and playing for the ladies team or I'm switching teams and going to the small bit Kings.

Speaker: If i I'm just saying, I'm just throwing that out there. I'm saying, well, this is advertising for small dick kings everywhere. I'm just saying. Yeah. Like, if you need Riz, if you need a little Riz to talk up the ladies, these are the ah stories you bring to the table. Yeah. If you're, if you're, if you... It will work. If if you're if you're not confident about your size, these are icebreakers. 100%.

Speaker: Did you know? and Did you know? Have you heard this story? You just walk up to a check on a bar. you Have you ever heard the story about the the woman that got her vagina ripped because the guy's dick was too big? You will not have that problem with me. Let's go. Yeah, right. I feel like these women aren't turned on. and just i i know't i Maybe they need to get in a Range Rover and go in the water.

Speaker: Uh, uh, yeah. yeah right i don't know Again, again, I'm not a woman and I don't have a big piece, uh, big giant penis. So I don't know. I can't speak for either side. So I'm just, just the guy throwing out. him Hey, you know what? Hey, here's another little reach round. Um, we were talking about, uh, Diddy's house being raided. Did you hear what they found?

Speaker: a thousand bottles of lube and baby oil. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I did hear about maybe these women need to go to Diddy's house before hooking up with these big guys. say Yeah. Uh, Lily writes in the lost cause. My best friend called me at 3 a .m. to say that she and her boyfriend finally had sex.

Speaker: It's not a first time sex adventure that I would want to go on, but nonetheless. Um, they finally had sex and it was anal. Oh, you for the first time having sex with your boyfriend, you're just like shoving in my ass. That's called a loophole. So she's still a virgin. Well, maybe she's not a bird in the eyes of the church. Well, I don't know. But, uh, literally goes on to say his Dick was big, but apparently he was trying really hard to impress her by wearing an extra large,

Speaker: magnum condom and you know what happened it came off the condom the condom what the hell it now i'm curious yeah

Speaker: Jesus Christ, this thing is... That's my thing, Leggy. It's like the vagina is designed to stretch and pull out a baby. If your dick's so big that it's breaking that... Yeah, but I mean, I'm just saying surgery. I'm just saying. And the condom got lost in her butthole. Wow. Lily says I had to talk her through an enema. We're just waiting till you take a shit. I was gonna say, just go to Taco Bell. You'll be all right.

Speaker: Mm hmm. Yeah, yeah. Well, unless you end up like me, then it's coming out the other end, then all of a sudden you throw up a kind of this bit in your ass. Hey, once again, better out than in. Yeah.

Speaker: um but

Speaker: Shell, Shell writes in this jaw dropping tale. I feel like I read this word. Maybe it was a different story that sounds similar.

Speaker: Uh, I occasionally get locked off from, from bad TMJ, which is. Temporal, mandibly large. yeah basically It's like, it's, it's like too much. with your tongue It's, it's like too much jaw. That's what, uh, my ex -wife, cause she had the same thing. She had TMJ. She called it too much jaw. And I'm like, yeah, that's not the problem. You suffer from a bad case of spread my legs too much.

Speaker: I'm teasing their jokes, people. Oh, no, that's true. I'm telling her. That was my experience. That was my experience. Oh, that's that's that's fact that. ah But she's a shell, says I was I was giving my boyfriend a blue job and he's quite big and girthy reference six, seven for reference. So my job was hurting. I thought, fuck it, and kept going. That was a big mistake.

Speaker: because I got to the point where I couldn't open my mouth wide enough to get his dick out. So I had to pry my mouth open with my fingers. Now, anytime I give him order oral, I make sure to use my tongue while giving my jaw a wrist. Yeah, I'm sorry. If you're getting locked all because you're sucking dick, stop sucking dick.

Speaker: work by the dollar you know i should really reconsider telling some stories when i'm sitting on my porch but all my neighbors are leaving or actually carrying a gun just like four cars just like we're out of here man this guy's got a huge Oh, shots. Yeah, because I literally look like I'm just sitting on my patio with a ring light talking to my like talking to myself with my laptop. I can't hear you. I got here, buddy. and i was log And you're sitting here talking about. d

Speaker: ah Let's do one more here. Actually, you know what? I'm going to I'm going to wrap this. I'm going to wrap this list up tonight. There's just a couple more in here. So I'm going to wrap this list up tonight. we're gonna We're going to knock it off the ballpark, so to say.

Speaker: um

Speaker: D4B writes in this bloody blowjob. The first guy I ever gave a blowjob to was huge. Both in length and girth, I had braces at the time and was hesitant, but he assured me it would be OK.

Speaker: braces. No, we took to it slowly, but he ended up with two bloody lines down his penis where some inside wires were protruding to this day. I still wonder if he has scars.

Speaker: I bet you he goes to your ass. Oh Lord have mercy. Hey, a chick, a chick with, with braces. can be really cute and can be really sexy, but I'm not sticking my dick in your mouth. It's not going to happen. Calm down. ah What was that Bond villain with the jaws? yeah but thought he had a more more creative well like I thought he had a more creative name, but I had a cousin that that got braces.

Speaker: and No, no, no, the first week, like the inside of ah inside of her lips were all cut up from the braces. So imagine what it would do to your dick. So, yeah, no. I've known a lot of people with braces in like the first week of getting their braces.

Speaker: Please continue your story about your cousin and her braces. No, no, no. I'm just saying, no, no, no. I'm not talking about a blow job. I'm talking about when somebody gets braces that first week, their, their gums and cheeks are all bloody from cuttings.

Speaker: yeah hey he Oh, you say so. wadie Whatever you say, I'm not here to judge.

Speaker: No, no, that's not true. There's such thing as adult braces. My ex mother -in -law got braces late in life. she She had braces. Calm down. You put the underage thing in your head. Yeah. What are you thinking about? Yeah, Jesus. Calm down there, P Diddy.

Speaker: um there like Well, this lady probably wouldn't be hard to find. Gina Marie writes in. This nerve wracking snap. Geniuses, I was having sex with a guy who was so big that when we lost a rhythm, his dick sort of bent. but We heard a snapping sound. We later found out that it was a weak tendon or a nerve in his penis that created that noise. I've heard his dick, his dick swelled up and we rushed to the hospital. He needed surgery to repair the nerve.

Speaker: It's been 20 years since then. And he's fine now, but I will never forget it. I've heard about that. You broke. I've heard about that before. People break in their penis. Jeff looks under a eye. Yeah.

Speaker: Oh, shit. The last one. That terrifies me. That terrifies me.

Speaker: I know I don't have because because this I don't think this had anything to do with the guy's dick being too big. It was a week. No, it's just it's a week to do it. And you know, you if you guys go off rhythm from each other and things happen and. There was a movie where where a guy and a girl were having sex and they fell off the bed and she broke his penis. And both broken penis, man. um And last but not least,

Speaker: We're going to go ahead and like I said, we're going to go ahead and wrap this list up and we can start a new list next Wednesday. Yay. Um, this is a long one too. she's yeah That's what she said. It is a big dick story. Yeah. Alison writes in, in this scene of a crime, whoa, that's not good. Alison says, I hooked up with a friend who had the longest and thickest dick I'd ever seen.

Speaker: Even though we spent a lot of time in foreplay, the sex was so painful that we had to stop. So I gave him a blow job instead. Alison continues. I went to the bathroom after to clean up and looked in the mirror and saw my hands, face and thighs covered in blood. When I went back to his room, his white sheets and pillowcases looked like a murder scene.

Speaker: And he was gone. I panicked. I grabbed one of the pillars to try to hide how bad it was and called an Uber.

Speaker: Allison says he was walking back in when I was literally running out the door. I shouted some confused noises. I am jumped in my Uber, yelling dry. Go, go, go.

Speaker: There was still blood on my face and hands and I was holding a bloody pillowcase. So my driver probably thought I murdered someone. Later on, I returned his pillow and he was surprisingly cool about it. What happened? That's what I want to know. Like you you left out a key fucking component of this story. Where did all the fucking blood come from? You sound like you I'm assuming maybe from her.

Speaker: Well, see, that's what I was thinking. Was she on her... Was she on her period or or did she hurt him? Or did he hurt her? Yeah. Can you imagine that Uber driver? Drive! Why are you covered in blood, bitch? Did you... Yeah, I don't think... ah Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna be... I don't think I'm gonna be cool as an Uber driver if somebody jumps in my car, covered in blood and they have a bloody pillowcase. I'm gonna start asking questions.

Speaker: Oh, a hundred percent. I'm like, no, you need to get the fuck out. I'm canceling this ride. You get somebody. You need to. I got enough problems. Yeah, you need to call. I'm driving you right to the police station. Yeah. He killed somebody or somebody tried to kill her. One of the two. Yes. Something happened. You guys investigate. She's giving her report. She's like this guy. His penis was so big.

Speaker: measure was I think the tip was part of the problem like yeah yeah I wonder if maybe me like I better I better get a five star rating you better leave me one hell of a tip and agreed oh that's that thursday just the tip no like that's um I'm so curious on where all the blood came from. i'm ah i am I'm judging by other stories that we read. I'm going to assume he raised was on period either as she was on her period or being he tore something. Yeah, but she didn't mention that she tore something. So maybe it wasn't, maybe it didn't hurt. That's true. Adrenaline. Yeah.

Speaker: I'm sorry, but what she said, there's blood on her face. I'm assuming there was blood on dude's dick when it went in her mouth. If you've ever tasted your own blood, it's metallic. He's got that like any like, yeah majority yeah, but you're also in the heat of the moment. Maybe homeboy, maybe, maybe homeboy didn't shower that day. So he already had a fragrance down there. You know what I mean? I'm not saying I'm not necessarily doesn't necessarily have to be a bad fragrance. Maybe.

Speaker: Maybe, maybe homeboy uses fresh balls and it's, it's a deodorant for your, for your junk. Um, maybe it smelled like, it know so just say well, and well, as a consumer and a buyer of fresh balls at one point in time, it definitely does not smell like petunias, but it smells like, uh, it smells like a nice deodorant for your, uh, region, your nether regions. a man Yeah. You know, so you don't stink. Like, like out of all the people on this list.

Speaker: and all the people out of this list, the one I want to interview is this last one. Yeah. I want to know more. I like, I got to know what, what where's, where'd the blood come from? Yeah. And like, have you talked to him since? Did the dude bleed out? What was the, I want to know what the Uber driver's reaction was because there's no way. I want to interview the Uber driver. Yeah, because there's nobody talking about something's showing up out of a context.

Speaker: Yeah. There's no way as an Uber driver, you're just like, okay. And you don't like, unless this is the norm, maybe, I dunno, maybe they're from like Baltimore or Cyrac or you know, something like a really bad city where this is just the norm is it's a typical Tuesday night for this Uber driver.

Speaker: yeah ah so be the Somebody gets in the car covered in blood. I don't know if that's the norm. And he was just like, whatever. you know, do, do, do not my business, not my circus, not my monkeys type deal. Yeah, I agree. He was just like, hurry up. but I just need the money that I got a car payment to make. fli Yeah. Please don't stay in my, please don't stay in my seats. You know, type deal. You will be charged for a cleanup. That's true. You know, that's a taste that I've never tasted before. Nor do I watch. I'll have to take your word for that. Like, but wow.

Speaker: Ball sweat, spunk and blood. Hmm. That sounds like a cocktail. Have you have you tried the new Cologne blood spunk and ball sweat by Dior? By Nonsensical Network?

Speaker: yeah A dabble, do you? Just like set sex, sex, 60 % of the time, it works 100 % of the time.

Speaker: ah any who Oh, Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. Out of all the people on this list, there's a couple of them I want to interview, but I want to interview this person the most. I got to know more. Not that I'm going to do research, but like she left out key points of that. The taste of a man. Nice. that fact The taste of a man. Blood, sweat.

Speaker: if

Speaker: i just I'm just saying we need to come up with our own man musk of blood, sweat, and funk. The taste of a man. Bring the squash out of you.

Speaker: boom he who he he he who he I created it. I remember created it.

Speaker: Celebrities have, you know, perfume lines and stuff like that. Why can't we? e don't see what else ball good the taste i won' I don't think that's going to be a fragrance. be a fragrance. I'm just saying. Get yours today at the nonsense goal dash nonsense dot my spread shop dot com.

Speaker: Blood, ball, sweat and spunk. The taste of blue assh mickichas you should so but you ask. You ask Jeff's idea. It was kind of a combination of both of us. Don't put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby. Actually, it was like his fault because she said it was the taste of blood and and spunk. And I was like, could you imagine what that was? Probably smell like down there if he had showered for the day. And then Jeff and I just went from there.

Speaker: she's not and she she's She's not amused by us right now. It was a group effort, let's be honest. It was a team effort. The taste of it. Blickhawk2028.

Speaker: yeah She's less than impressed with us right now. She just looked back at me and discussed like, You ask. You should know better, but you should know better at this point in our relationship. What our viewers don't know is Glick is outside and Nicky is basically assured us all he's going to stay there. I think I heard the door lock. She's locked the door. Teamwork makes the dream work. There you go. my My poor neighbors are like, Jesus Christ, how do we how do we stop this animal?

Speaker: He's got an army of, he's got an army of spiders. He's killing and eating otters. Now he's a snake man. That means he's got fucking snakes. We can't do anything. And now he's going to run for president of the world and sell it alone. That smells like and how are you on the castle schmit and yeah ball sweat and bull. That's how we're going to fund our campaign to run for president of the world.

Speaker: I'm just saying it could work. It could work. We, we will be the, The Calvin Klein of men's perfume. The Rolls Royce of men's perfume. Well, men don't wear perfume. We wear cologne. So it's 2024. Men can wear perfume. Well, OK. You got me there. Yeah, see? I'm going to cancel you.

Speaker: Please. At this point, yes. I want to run the world like, what the fuck? You're getting us canceled. We got to be woke. High five, boys.

Speaker: cybery it's Cyber Cyber five. Bro, we all just smack our cameras. Shit, I gotta buy a new camera now. Damn it. Hashtag worth it. Well, ah think I think on that note, after last night's debauchery, now tonight's debauchery, and I know Saturday is right around in the corner. Rather downhill slide for the weekend, ladies and gentlemen. I'm going to just design our bottle for our men's clone of blood, sweat, sweat, and spunk.

Speaker: I'm going to debut the look of our bottle on Saturday. Like I know what I'm doing the rest of the night. I am. I am. I'm going to create an ad. I'm on the edge. I am on the edge of my seat. I can't wait. Oh, yeah. Stay tuned till Saturday's show. I will have a commercial.

Speaker: I'm going to create a commercial for it's it, and and I'm going to reveal the the true name of blood, sweat, and spunk. That's what it'll smell like, but it'll have a cool name. I just haven't thought of it yet. And our tagline won't be the taste of a man. Let's be honest. Who are sports drink? Are sports drink the taste of a man? Yeah.

Speaker: I think we're going to have blood sweat and sports, blood, blood sweat and spunk sports drink. The taste of a man. Get yours today. That nonsense is all dash nonsense. My surprise. Well, and I think on that note, we've reached the point where we are going to go ahead and turn off the teleprompters, turn off the cameras,

Speaker: smack my co -anchor in the mouth.

Speaker: and call it a night on the news.

Speaker: Now, speaking of Saturday Night Show, we make sure you guys tune in. We do have shows sunday or Monday through Sunday here on the network. We kicked a week off with Men Caring for Men. It's a men's mental health broadcast. And we do have an open panel. We we encourage and we invite any Any other men who want to come up and chit chat with us either take part in the conversation we're having, or if you just got some shit weighing on your mind, weighing on your shoulders and you want to get some, you need to vent, you need to talk to somebody. Well, you're more than welcome to come up and do that. Um, Tuesday nights is clicks house of music. Um, Mondays, by the way, it's hosted by Connor and myself.

Speaker: Tuesdays is Glick's House of Music. That's hosted by me. And I'm hanging out with up and coming artists, um musicians, songwriters, producers, whatever, you know, whoever I can get to come on the show and hang out and talk about their music career. We're hanging out. We're having fun. We're having a good time. If you missed last night's episode with AJG, it is up on the YouTube and Facebook channel. And hopefully by tomorrow, I'll have it up on all the podcasts and platforms so you can go and check that out.

Speaker: AJG and I had a lot of fun hanging out and shooting the shit. He was cool Go show him some love AJ's AJ 3 underscore 305 on all the socials Um Wednesday nights is this goofy ass show right here What the fuck news if it's in the news and it makes us say what the fuck we're gonna talk about it And hopefully it makes you say what the fuck as well facts Thursdays

Speaker: rightly All men welcome but especially the ones who smell like blood, sweat, and sponge. Thursday nights, every other Thursday night is ah Cash's Corner. That's hosted by my son, co -hosted by me. It is a wrestling talk show. We just talk wrestling. You know, we're we're both big wrestling fans and that's another show if you're a wrestling fan and you want to come up, let us know.

Speaker: And we'll bring you up and hang out. Let it let you hang out with us. Um, you know, we're already sitting on the couch watching wrestling and talking about wrestling. Why not do it on a show together? So, uh, that's a, that's a fun show. We do every other Thursday. I'm thinking about using Thursdays because I got to get a message sent out for a couple of interviews to line up. And as of right now, I'd either have to cut into Mondays or Tuesdays or potentially Wednesdays for the, or not Tuesday, not definitely not Tuesdays.

Speaker: but Mondays or Wednesdays. But I'm thinking about using that every other Thursday to do like a little hour long interview session for like these different ah local establishments or local entrepreneurs and stuff to kind of help promote their there there shops and wares and whatnot. But in the meantime, every other Thursday is Cassius Corner. Friday nights is, I think it's still called whose debate or whose argument is it anyways?

Speaker: we will be blazed New name on Friday Okay, well though there's there's some show on Friday, I don't know what's happening I don't even know if it's fucking live or not. I don't know what's going ah and It's pre -recorded. It's pre -recorded but it'll go out live Yeah, I don't know what they're doing. It's not my project not my circus not my monkeys But there's something that goes on on Fridays. You would think I would know but you know, I'm not told anything Saturday nights is the coup de gras, the main event, if you will, nonsensical nonsense, unhinged, unapologetic. We let the admits take over the asylum. We call it the open door challenge. We dropped the link in the chat and we challenge you guys to come up and hang out with us. We just ask that you turn your camera on and please put your penis away because nobody wants to see it. Let's be honest.

Speaker: that Also, why would you show a bunch of dudes your penis? That's weird. And then you're going to get made fun of by a bunch of dudes because of your small penis. Again, it's not a win -win situation if you put your pecker on your camera screen. Just not going to win. just It's just going to be bad. And on the off chance that we have a lady in the building or a woman in the building, then you're going to get a double whammy because your ego is going to get really bruised when the women start making fun of it. I'm just saying.

Speaker: like you and I have experienced that. we We spent way longer than we should have making fun of this poor guy's little dick. But it was fun.

Speaker: um And then we wrap the week up on Sundays. We have a new show that debuted week one of the NFL that is hosted by myself and Derek Wayne Douglas, ah former guest of Glick's House of Music.

Speaker: And we are talking football, making picks, making predictions. I think we're going to slide in a little fantasy football talk in there as well. That kicks off at noon. It's called unnecessary roughness. Cam will be up there when he can be. I think Bathurst wants to come up and partake from time to time. ah That is also an open forum. We dropped the link in the chat and anybody who wants to come up and talk football.

Speaker: talk football That's what we're doing. We're talking football. We're not talking anything else. It's it's just NFL. And we're making our picks and our predictions and and and all that fun jazz. um And then, I guess, I don't know if that's still happening or not. Again, I don't know if Jeff's garage is still a thing or not. But if it is, it's on at some point on Sundays. I don't know. Jeff and Benji got to work that work out. of ah Work out a time frame that works for both of them. So that's the network, man. That's the shows.

Speaker: You can find us on all the socials, Facebook, Instagram, X and tick tock. We do the shows live on YouTube, Twitch, excuse me, YouTube, Twitch, Facebook, and rumble. Now the chatters box is always open. We encourage you guys. That's one of the main reasons we do the show live is because the channels box is always open. we We encourage you guys to get in the chatters box and, and partaking all the conversations, add your two cents, add your common sense.

Speaker: Uh, or lack of common sense, you know, drop your one liners, make jokes, make jokes at our expenses. We don't care. Just be active in the tennis box. That's what it's there for. Or just hang out and watch. We appreciate that too. Maybe some people are shy. You can work. We don't mind if you work. I know I'm sexy. I'm sexy and I know it. but but And Jeff's too sexy for this podcast. You should see him shake his stuff on the catwalk. I forgot the lyrics to that word or that song.

Speaker: Yeah, you're close. Yeah, somewhere along those lines. um But yeah, you can find all of us, all of the shows, all of us, all at the nonsensical network or simply go to bio dot link nonsensical network.

Speaker: You got all those links there, including links to our merch. We got shirts and hoodies and cups and there's even a tote bag on there. Now there's hats. We heard the people ask for hats. So we got hats. Shout out to Nikki. She is the, uh, reigning queen of the merchandise. She does her, she is the, uh, the, uh, CEO of merchandising. So she's throwing up the designs and putting everything up there for us and and kind of running that. So I don't have to worry about it, but, uh, yeah, we got shirts and hats and hoodies and coffee cups and all that stuff up there some cool stuff and more to come more to come. We'll get we'll get showed all the shows represented um as well. But right now it's just nonsensical nonsense and nonsensical network but lots of things going on lots of things happening y 'all. Hopefully you guys are enjoying what we're doing. um You know we're trying to create

Speaker: actual content and and not just come on the internet and be assholes like we used to do. Let's be honest. Uh, no, not like assholes in a bad way, but just truck cops jerk jerk offs with cameras and, and, and the ability to go live. We're actually trying to create content and hopefully you guys are enjoying it. And I want to thank everybody who listens, who watches, uh, watches us live, watches the repays, listens to us, um, on, on the podcasts and platforms and and everybody who's following us and hopefully more people.

Speaker: If you're catching this for the first time, hit that follow button, hit that subscribe button, turn the notifications on. That being said, before you go, I did it. While you were talking,

Speaker: the new sports drink I love once went and spunked the taste of a man.

Speaker: On that note, good thank you guys for listening. to Thank you guys for hanging out. we're gonna we're gonna we're gonna We're gonna play one last song for the night and then we're gonna come back with our closing remarks and get the flock out of here. I got to Mr. J. Valor. He, as of right now, we're he's scheduled for Tuesday night.

Speaker: But as I said last night, huge shout out to the guy. He's flying into Vegas. He's got a show that night in Vegas and he's still saying he wants to come on the show. So hopefully all pans out. Um, as AJG said last night, eh, he'll just take you up on stage with him. I was like, yeah, that works too. But, uh, Jay Mallon will be, uh, is scheduled to be on next Tuesday's clicks house and music. And this is his cover of Teddy swims lose control. And I think he did a fantastic job.

Speaker: Yes, a little Jay Valor with his cover of Teddy Swims lose control. Y 'all go check out Jay Valor. I show some love. He's everywhere at Jay Valor doing his thing.

Speaker: and he'll be hanging out as of right now. As far as I know, if he'll be hanging out with this guy next Tuesday night, which will be another fun interview. Oh, my interviews are fun. Man, I've had so much fun going on. Anywho, anyways, appreciate y 'all being here. Appreciate y 'all listening. As always, thank you guys for your support. Jeffrey, you got anything to say? Guy love blood, sweat, and spunk. The taste of a man. Coming soon.

Speaker: I don't co -sign on that, by the way, guys. This is a Jeff and Leahy thing. This is a Jeff and Leahy production. That's right. When it becomes the new prime energy drink, we'll keep the money. That's all right. AJG and I will be super successful down there in our Otter barbecue joint. And then you're going to come pay us to put it in our barbecue restaurant. No, no. You're going to beg us to have it in your barbecue restaurant because it's going to be something.

Speaker: No, no, no. And we're like, no, you didn't sign off on it. So I'll just make my own. I'll just make my own off brand, like my own shoot off spin off brand. Yeah. I'll make a spin off brand. Call it dude love. Call it dude love and put a tie dye print on it. Like dude love from WWE.

Speaker: say And then be like, Have you ever wanted to taste what it's like to be a real man? Now you can. and Drink, dude love. Drink, dude love. Have you ever wanted to catch otters and snakes and be a man and grow up a man's beard like Glitch? Drink, dude love. Drink, dude love. And then we'll have some like sweet guitar riff or like like a sick ass hip hop beat behind it or something.

Speaker: Everybody's going to be like, I never heard a guy love that stuff. I can't wish version of dude love like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you tried to go his face from memory.

Speaker: Anywho, that means said get the flock out of here. Jeff, you got anything to say for you outside of the blood spunken tears? Yeah. Mine will be, mine will be blood, spunk, sweat and tear. yeah is That little bit of extra, just a little, just a little, you know, and and for those, for those listening, this is my final thoughts. Go out and vote for Glick Hawk 2028 world presidents. We'll presidency and we' solve all your problems. And the words of the late, great Walter, Walter Conrad Kike. That's the way it is.

Speaker: Also the words of the Walter Gronkowski Walter Gronkowski Walter Gronkowski. Wait a minute. That's it. That's the way it is.

Speaker: We do. and And as always be good. but Be good at it, baby. We'll see you guys next time. Tune in tomorrow night to nothing. Nothing's tomorrow night.

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