Nonsensical Nonsense 218 They should be medicated

Transcript

Speaker: Yes.

Speaker: What the fuck?

Speaker: Maybe...

Speaker: Bye!

Speaker: what's going on everybody welcome to nonsensical nonsense we got tony d in the building i'm glick you know that already yeah got to get an extra long intro there because i like uh playing rocky's new song so if you don't like it i got two words for you tough shit

Speaker: Tis, uh, Wednesday. So welcome to our Humpty shenanigans. Gonna start to show properly. Yeah, there it is.

Speaker: Welcome to non -sensical nonsense officially. Go ahead and check us out on social media, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok. Don't forget to join us live every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday, 6 PM on YouTube and Twitch. And if you can't join us live, that's okay. You can listen to us anytime, any place on Spotify and everywhere you listen to podcasts at all at non -sensical nonsense podcasts. Give us a follow. Give us a like. Give us a share. If you'd be so kind, help us grow. Tell your friends and family and your coworkers about us and all that other fun jazz.

Speaker: And if you don't like us, that's okay. We don't like you either. And if you love us, that's okay. Cause we don't like you either. Just kidding. We love all you guys lover. We love all you guys. Those of you who like us and those of us, those of you who hate us. You seem like you got something on your mind, like really pressing. Oh no, I'm just fucking around while you talk. Got a lot to say. I was.

Speaker: Glad to see you're awake and up and everything like that. For once, yeah. For a while. I was going to call you out like that, I was just going to say. I'll be tired. Ladies and gentlemen, it's 6 PM on Wednesday. If Tony's awake, you know he's got to be eaten. Yeah, I'm eating. What's on the dinner report for tonight? Easy with the dinner reports.

Speaker: tilapia, chicken, and fries for sharks. And I am. Who the fuck is this? And then this fucking clown decides to show up. Who the fuck is this? Wait as always. Hi, boys. With a broken ass computer. So Jeff, what are you eating? Rice and meat. Both of you fucking fat asses.

Speaker: this fat has hasn't eaten all day. I've been going non stops. It's eight o 'clock this morning. So, I had uh I had a bag of uh um you know the uh the cheese fries like potato chips and a bag of those and uh half a jar of peanuts today. And the cats. Wow. Yeah. And the and the cats. I love those things, man. Yeah.

Speaker: every time I see him. Hey, man. Hey, man. Hey, man. Hey, and **** dollar tree has them. You know, when you go to the gas station and **** now, those things are like $3 a bag. Dollar tree has the same size bag or one. So, guess who buys them every time he goes into Dollar Tree. You're like one of my favorite like little snacks.

Speaker: Yeah, I don't want to talk about work. Go ahead. Go ahead. I've been wanting to only promote it. Like I didn't want it, but I was forced into it. Yeah, I was promoted again. Congratulations. Yeah, I'm running my entire department. It's not as fun as it sounds. A higher position is more a possibility.

Speaker: About eight months ago, before I got put into the position I was in, I was like, oh, I can take on more responsibility. And I'm trying to figure out how to go back in time and kick six months ago, Jeff in the balls, because bad idea. Because now I have 10 times the responsibility that I don't mind, but it's like. You just got to get used to it. Yeah, it comes down to that. Yeah.

Speaker: I'm technically still on for another 45 minutes. If I call, what comes in, I'll have to jump off. Technically, schmectically. Tuesday. It's a learning curve. That I'm slowly learning sucks.

Speaker: Well, answering questions that you don't have to answer to yourself. But yeah, it is what is. Well, now I'm basically 1 ,000 clients at a time where before I was at maybe $100, $200. Kill the camera. Now I'm at $200, or now I'm at over $1 ,000. So my phone number stops ringing. Mm -hmm. No, it doesn't.

Speaker: and I still don't know how to turn off my, figure it out, but I come in there at peace. So yeah, it's been a couple of days and fun times, good times, but... I was talking to a client today,

Speaker: one of the coolest cats I've met in this job. And they're gonna start checking out the podcast because the owner and the CEO were both on the call.

Speaker: And, uh, I was kind of given there. I was like, you know, they were, we were laughing and goofing around and stuff. And they said, uh, they said, sorry, we're not trying to be a professional. I said, no, no, no, this is like the best phone call I've had today. Uh, it kind of reminds me of the podcast I do. And of course I mentioned the podcast. They're like, Oh, we're going to check it out. So Frank and Charlie, if you're here, what's up. Gentlemen, how are you?

Speaker: But I think they're, they're a couple of hours behind me. So they might. Look on your face is priceless. I'm individually promoting one by one. One by one.

Speaker: One by one, one person by person. I'm slow on the podcast. It's been a year. It's been a year. I'm going to just step the game up, son. I've done that on every major platform out there. I'm going to need you to get the soccer work. Today, I technically promoted two at once. So, you know, slowly stepping up the game.

Speaker: I don't have time to go on social media. Poor shit. Poor shit. Poor shit. You got more clips than CNN. Fuck that. Our group Snapchat says differently. And my personal and our podcast, TikTok page, says differently. It's not like I can go live while I'm taking a shit, which is when I'm sending you voices videos.

Speaker: You don't have to go. You boys just be sitting on the toilet going, ah, Christian, find that funny. You can be on Facebook or on other platforms saying, hey, you should check out this podcast and then share the link. What up, Chris? What up, mother fucker? This was good.

Speaker: Tony's eating or drinking, rubbing alcohol. Apparently I'm not drinking desperate times. That's your dinner report. You're welcome. God damn it. Don't ask me no.

Speaker: And apparently he's drinking rubbing alcohol tonight. So he's doing shots of rubbing alcohol. Ladies and gentlemen, do you need somebody to talk to everything? Okay. Everybody hit you hard. Have you seen the podcast? Wow. Wow. I don't know.

Speaker: talk to one of his imaginary customers. I don't know what he's talking about. Oh, it was only that rat. That rat would rather bat. That's exactly what I was getting ready to say. At this point, Jeff has just become one of the teachers on Charlie Brown. Jesus. I didn't say anything. I was listening.

Speaker: I was engrossed in the conversation. I was intrigued and I was letting him speak. Ladies and gentlemen, what you witnessed was Glick holding his tongue.

Speaker: That is what the hell you just witnessed. I do not know what you speak of, Tony D. Watch the replay. Watch the replay. Run it back. Run it back one time. Hit the rewind button. He didn't drink his beer fast. He drunk it slow and stared. That means keep going. Keep telling me. Got to put my boots back on. I just took them off a little bit ago. Let me go ahead and

Speaker: Place them back up. There's apparently a new software update, Tony D, for your laptop, iPhone, and iPad. My iPad didn't take that last one. I took everything off. I'm not deleting no more apps on there because

Speaker: I want my shit to be what it is. I'll check it out. Appreciate you, Chris. Let me, let me see what the hell's going on in one day. It's like every damn time I turn this laptop on, there's a new update for it, but I don't have much on here. So I just let the, the updates, they just, it updates itself. I just have to restart it. So everything slides into effect or whatever. That's a good thing. But, um, how do I mean, I don't have a whole lot on here. It's strictly podcast related stuff. So I'm not worried about losing anything or

Speaker: any of that jazz because, yeah, I didn't see a thing. Agreed. Yeah. I don't have a lot of other, I'm actually in the process of, speaking of tablets, I, in the process of unpacking, I found my old tablet. So I'm charging it up and I'm gonna wipe that bitch clean. We'll come and make sure. It's an old one. It's a Samsung.

Speaker: eight tab. Hey, something like that. Oh, that's some bitches old. I've had it for probably six years. Oh, wow. Um, but I've never really had anything on it. Um, outside of, you know, random streaming stuff, maybe a game here and there, it doesn't have a whole lot of memory on it. I need to go get a memory card for it and stuff, but I'm going to wipe it all clean and make sure.

Speaker: What am I going to trade it in for everyone at? I'm going to trade it in at. Is it Samsung?

Speaker: Yeah. You're trying to tell me, Samsung will take their old devices and give you a new one as an upgrade? Horse shit. Oh, I have no idea. Yes, you do. You talk to everybody on all the platforms. How the fuck do you not notice? I don't talk about electronics. This is what you do. You take this somewhere, see if they'll give you a training for it, and you upgrade. You don't have to get broke. You don't have to buy a whole lot. This is what the fuck Apple people do. Oh, no. The tablets I bought my kids last year were amazing.

Speaker: And that's when I asked my girls where theirs were. They're like, Ooh. Because I was going to take theirs because they don't ever use them anymore. The tablets. Yeah. Jesus. They've all got phones now. Cash is really the only one that's ever really on his tablet. Yeah. Yeah. He'll be on his cell phone and on his tablet at the same time.

Speaker: He'll be watching YouTube right now. Yeah, he'll be on his he'll be watching YouTube on his tablet and playing a game on his phone. Oh, yeah. Well, I do that. Yeah. Well, that's the same thing I do if I'm watching if I'm watching TV and I'm usually purely fucking around with one of my games on my phone. Or like last night, last night I was I was playing Call of Duty and

Speaker: I decided to binge fly through the first season of Reacher again. That's such a great show. And if you guys haven't fucking watched it, then shame on you, Tony. I think you would actually really like the Reacher television. I loved it. I thought it was amazing. And I can't wait till season two. It's an action show, but it's Jack Reacher's former military.

Speaker: Yeah, he's a former military investigator. So Tom Cruise did a couple of Reacher movies. And then Old Duke from The Office or whatever did Jack Ryan, which is basically the same guy. Well, Jack Ryan stuff. Supposedly I was when I was looking about Reacher season two because they are making a season two. Supposedly there's talks to make a Reacher and Jack Ryan movie together.

Speaker: Tom Cruise and that guy together playing both characters. I had a sci -fi movie in my head if I hit the lottery, so I'll stand by for that. GoBots live action. Tony's finally going to have his GoBots movie. I'll go see your GoBots movie, Tony.

Speaker: I'll be the first one in line to buy my ticket. Well, as you guys noticed, I did jump off there for a minute. I got a call.

Speaker: And I don't know if you guys remember a while back. I went to go visit my grandmother. Yes. I just found out my mom just called me. My grandmother passed. My condolences. That sucks. Yeah. Sorry to hear that. She was 96. It's not like we didn't see it coming. I got you. Did you wake it up there? God damn, Jeff. Jesus Christ, Jeff. And that's what my mom said. She's like, it's not like we didn't know it was coming.

Speaker: You know, just like that picture is 96. Who cares? She had a good run. No, no. Girl had a great run. Well, I don't know why you're supposed to be so sad. She was 96. I'm going to outlive two husbands. But yeah. I killed two husbands. That's three years ago. My grandfather was 96. 94 or 96? Yeah, well, yeah. Aren't you old?

Speaker: I'm just glad I made it to 41 because I had a teacher tell me she swore I would never live to see eighteen. I'd like to. Oh, she's probably dead now, but I'd still like to go back to that. Right? Well, she was like ninety -seven back then. I think our English teacher at the Career Center. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Tom Tenney told me the same thing. He says, I'll be surprised if you look past twenty the way you **** do stuff.

Speaker: Yeah. That bitch said you won't live to see 18 and I can't wait to come to your funeral. I was like, ouch. Yeah. Like to know she's still alive. I doubt it, but if she is. The English teacher, that was, she was, she was like 30. No, she wasn't. She was an old. Oh no. Oh, okay. I know what you're talking about. Okay. I was thinking that little crabby bitch. They never liked me. Yeah. She didn't like anybody.

Speaker: She gave me an A just so she didn't have to put up with me my senior year. Seriously. Seriously. Chris and I were so annoying in high school that most art teachers like if I fail his motherfucker, he's going to come back. See, thank you. Bye. She gave me an A. She told me I told you guys she gave me she said I had to do five speeches in front of the class. And if I did them, she would give me an A because that was the only class I had my senior year. So I was working. Yeah.

Speaker: Yeah, I was, I was working and I had, I went to work in the morning and then I would leave work and come back to school for that one class. And then I would go work my second job. Jesus. And she was like, Oh, if you do these five speeches, I'll give you an A and you don't have to come back the rest of the year. That's how much you wanted to get rid of me. And I did them. She gave me my A and then I didn't. So I would get my eight hours in at my first job. And then I would go to my second job, get my eight hours in there and then go home.

Speaker: Jesus. Yeah. But I had my own place my senior year. I moved out on my 18th birthday, right? Right. So. Well, you know, Governor Jeff and I went to vocational school, so at the end of our junior year they help her. Some of us they help get jobs. I had fun in vocational school. I ain't gonna lie.

Speaker: I love it. We had a blast. We had a blast. We were constantly in trouble. But I'm eating rice and it's like meat sauce. Dog. It's a delicacy in Mexico. It is. But the way my dogs act, it's not far off. Chef used to have seven dogs. Now he has six dogs. Sometimes you got to eat. What can I say?

Speaker: He used to did have eight dogs. That's excellent. Well, as I stated multiple times on this broadcast, first and foremost, a words are hard. And second of all, I've been butchering the English language for 41 years. Why stop now? Oh my God.

Speaker: No, Tuesday I got this promotion, right? And it happened super early in the morning. And by the time I got done Tuesday, I literally went upstairs like, I'm gonna lay down for five minutes. Five minutes turned into, I woke up at two o 'clock in the morning. Why the fuck awake? So I basically stayed up all day. And then last night I finished work and I was like, I'm gonna lay down for five minutes, woke up at midnight.

Speaker: No, I actually woke up at 8 o 'clock this morning. So I slept all day yesterday after work all the way till 8 o 'clock. Good morning. It was kind of awesome. It's crazy. But the shit I deal with on a day -to -day is it's all technical and high numbers and, you know, yeah. And God forbid you say something.

Speaker: No, I deal with multi -million dollar accounts daily. Right. I'm Ellis from Die Hard. I do million dollar deals for breakfast. That's what Ellis said right there. You don't make a deal with terrorists. We're trying to keep you around a little bit, regardless of what you're doing. But now, movie, I'm your white knight. I'm your knight in shine. And you've thought of this all by yourself.

Speaker: Show them the watch. I'm Ellis. Show them the watch. You love someone who knows.

Speaker: And Willis is like, I'm sure I'll see it. I'm sure I'll see it. He's like, for them, it's them. That's the difference between me and Alice. I don't - Be careful talking shit to ex -husbands. They will shoot you. Let's be clear. Roger Simmons. Good news, sir. Good morning. Happy New Year. What's up? Numbers are hard.

Speaker: But yeah, I deal with all these crazy numbers. And now I have to do 90 % of the admin work that goes through the company. I'm dealing with anywhere from 1 ,000 to 1 ,500 cases at a time. And somebody can call me random and say, hey, I got a weird question. And unfortunately, I have to have the answer. Surprisingly enough, I do 90 % of the time do. But it's a lot of repetitive. Repetivity. Is that a word? Repetitiveness?

Speaker: Yeah, I'm going a bit earlier than night. Yes, Lord. Let's get the word. Over time is on if we want it. Just got the word. Did you know? No, that word is the word.

Speaker: a bear bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird

Speaker: at the end of every, right before every podcast, Tony's sitting there saying that, saying the, the, what's the, the serenity prayer, which is what they do for AA meetings. He's like, God, please grant me the serenity to accept the things I can't change, change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference, especially with Keith White, fucking idiots. What's going on, Rogers? Don't be slapping good.

Speaker: I could just. I used to work with a guy way back in the day, back in high school time, that he was an alcoholic. And during the summer, we'd ride around in the truck together. I understand why he was an alcoholic. He had to work with you. Why do you think I'm an alcoholic? Well, no, he was in recovery when he met me. But throughout the day, you just see him sit there behind the wheel of the van going,

Speaker: God, please grant me the serenity. What you doing, Bob? Trying not to kill you. Just checking. I didn't start drinking. I was telling my client today.

Speaker: I was talking to my client today about the episode, We Put the Fun in Funeral, and Chris, we know what would you do when you or I die.

Speaker: Tony, what do you want for your funeral? For Chris and I to do? I have 20 funerals so planned out. Oh, I do too. His pallbearers are going to be a bunch of old up, muscled up Mexicans. Certainly, of course. So a while back before you actually joined the podcast, Tony, we did this thing where Chris and I talked about if I died before him,

Speaker: There are certain instructions I've left Chris that he has to do. Basically, Chris has to run up the aisle with a Molotov cocktail at my funeral, smash it on my casket, and scream, he wanted this because I want a Viking funeral. And my wife told me no. If Chris dies, I'm going to drag him out with the wench on my truck and stuff him with the Build -A -Bear equipment in the parking lot while screaming, he wanted this. What do you want for your funeral, sir?

Speaker: I don't even know if I want to tell either one of you motherfuckers. It's going to be 400 times Tony gone.

Speaker: Yeah. The hypest person's podcasting folks. The hype mime over there as we replay the tribute video of him talking on the podcast with himself muted. About seven or eight mochi cheese to dance around the funeral and carry his basket out. Funny Michael A. Jordan. Keep it up.

Speaker: Michael A, Michael B and Michael C, Jordan. There could be a D in there somewhere. Yeah, we all know how much you love the D. Ah, fuck, I walked into that one. You know, I was... Not the first time you said, hey, put that D somewhere in there. You know, sometimes one of my co -workers was complimenting me on something I did. Always lying.

Speaker: Oh my God, let me finish. She said, Jeff, I really appreciate everything you do for us and blah, blah, blah. And I said, you know, it's a good thing I do the podcast because by the time I get to the podcast, my ego is here. When I get back done with the podcast, my ego is right back where it should be. Because it's a great ego knockdown. It's just kind of like, okay, I'm not as cool as I thought I was 10 minutes ago.

Speaker: I just realized when I'm having a bad day, there's people in the world after I do the podcast that have it way worse than I do.

Speaker: because one of my co -hosts is you and I'm like, you know, maybe life isn't so bad. I could be. It could be worse. It could be fucking worse. I could be. It could be a five three white guy in Mexico. Yeah. Living in a third world country. Is it a five four white guy in Mexico? I said five three. Tony, I'm five three. That three inches counts.

Speaker: and I know he's got his he's got his wife's heels on heels on again. So he's five three tonight. I'd be five six. Look at how pretty. I'll be home. You know, you've done it. You sent me that video. It really is, Roger.

Speaker: It's the beautiful, that's the beautiful thing about the podcast is like, no matter how good or bad by day when I can always count on the podcast and set me straight. Oh no, I'm 90 % brilliant. Tony cheers me up. Chris keeps me level. Oh, you mean, uh, you know, you know, I should, uh, really get paid more.

Speaker: Wait, we get paid? Well, I do. I don't know about you guys. Change my name here real quick. Dr. Glick is in the building. Dr. Glick is in the building. Yeah, you're not that kind of doctor. You're about as much of a doctor as Jill Biden.

Speaker: I'm like, I'm like, uh, I'm like the Joker. He just messaged me. He just messaged me. She's like, I didn't realize Jeff was that short with a whole bunch of laughing emojis. Yeah. He's basically an Opalopa. Yeah. I'm like Thumbelina, but cool.

Speaker: I wouldn't say that. It's a weird reference to make. It's a very obscure reference to make. Tom, Tom, sorry. Tom, Tom, let's say the guy. Yeah, Thumbelina was a little, I mean, she was like the little ballerina chick. I don't know. I just know that she was like three inches tall. Get your man, Tony. Nikki said, which dwarf are you?

Speaker: And he's frozen. Hey Nicki, I have a response. Okay, I was good. That's which dwarf I am, Nicki.

Speaker: Jeff, Jeff is the full of shit drawer. Here's my answer. The eighth drawer full of shit. Yes. I'm the asshole drawer. I will play that video again if I have. So basically you've compared yourself to Thumbelina. So once again, you've outed yourself for wearing your wife's dresses and high heels and dancing around the house. Listen here, Mr. Jealousy. What am I jealous of?

Speaker: Uh, the fact that any vehicle I can drive and you have, you can't drive a convertible cause you stare at the top of the windshield. I can't drive a convertible. Are you still in a convertible? I had a buddy when he was six. He bought a convertible and then four minutes after he bought it goes, I can't drive this fucking thing. You're talking to a guy who, yeah.

Speaker: He's like, what do you mean? He says the top of the wind chills right here. I tell you what, you'd be surprised man, because I was a Michael red who used to play basketball and he played for the Buckeyes and played well, he was in the NBA. He didn't really play much because he spent most of his career injured.

Speaker: But I was buddies with him at OSU when I worked there the first time around. And he's a big dude. He's a tall ass motherfucking dude. Some of the cars that he would show up in at the rehab center where I worked at, I'm like, how do you fit in there, dude? And he would get in there and just be like, I'm like, damn.

Speaker: No, he I mean he they were I mean they were pretty look like he was pretty comfortable but I mean you also gotta remember I had a cruise for the last four years and I was comfortable as **** that cruise and that's I know but I mean there's a small car. I can't remember what it was. My buddy bought this. I'm not I'm not getting into a Mini Cooper or or a or a a a Yaris or anything like that. No, of course. No, but like my buddy my buddy bought a he bought a

Speaker: And he was six foot six. And this dude, he's one of those guys that walks into a room and ducks as he goes under the doorway. And I used to pick on him about it. And of course, he'd pick on me about my height. And he bought this Cutlass with teatops. And he said his knees would come up to about halfway on the steering wheel.

Speaker: with the teetops on, with the teetops off, his heads would stick up. So he sold it to me. He's like, I just can't drive the fucking thing. I got tons of room here, boys. So I drove that car for like six months. The only vehicles I've ever had problem fitting in are vehicles I would never want to own in my life.

Speaker: I'd love to see you guys both you two sit in one of those little Mercedes smarts It would be like it'd be like when when when John Cena and James Gordon I think it was tried to squeeze into a goddamn yours No, they tried to season it was Mercedes smarts. Was it a smarter that it was a yard? No, John Cena's like John Cena's like all right. He's not He's not super tall

Speaker: to put you two in a smart one. It's called a smart for two. And it's literally a two -seater car that's literally just a room for a, I think maximum height on it is like five nine, five 10. So it's like putting you two in it, it would be hilarious. Like the weirdest clown car ever. Yeah, I'm actually bigger than John Cena.

Speaker: How tall is John Cena? John Cena is 6 '1", 251. Good Lord. He's all muscle. Yeah, but that dude's like all muscle. Yeah, well, steroids are a wonderful thing. You are 90 % bacon. I don't eat bacon. That's because you are bacon. You know, I actually heard of excellent stuff. I'm 6 '2", 290 -ish. Right, but you're not fat. You're just easy to see.

Speaker: I'm hard to miss, that's for sure. I'm hard to miss, that's for damn sure. I can't deal with every bullet so far. He's hard to miss it, I'm what you're looking for. Look at Tony, now look back at me. I missed him. Look at Tony, now look at me. I'm on a horse.

Speaker: I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker: Michelle says hi. Hello, Michelle. What's up, kids? Ex -watches are in. Ex -watches are in. Yeah, I hit the incinerator where they should be. Oh, my God. I heard that yesterday, last night, on a TikTok as I was falling asleep. This woman had to be 400 pounds if she was an ounce. And she's like, I'm not fat. I'm just easy to find. I was like, yeah, no shit.

Speaker: that speaks volumes on Jeff's algorithm, Tony. My algorithm is hilarious. You've seen my algorithm. I send you guys videos. Yeah, I don't know. I think you need to look up the definition of hilarious and racist so you know the difference. What if I say it was racist? Guys, I don't know if this is racist or not. Well, you had to ask. So therefore, that's a yes.

Speaker: And he's frozen. Yeah, see, he started talking racism. You fucked it up. God damn it. Damn, I still got food. I thought it was out. Unbelievable. No, literally. My new hours at work is nine to seven. This is the first time I've been done before seven all week.

Speaker: Nine to seven from home. Yeah. Yeah, I know it's been a tough life. So literally on Wednesdays are the hardest day because I literally go straight from work to the podcast, done at 10 or 11 or whatever we decide to get off. So yeah, I'm Friday. Mentally. Well, my bar, my bar on my desk has become useful. I bet it is.

Speaker: You sure? Why? I need to go buy Kahlua again. I'm out. Thank you. Oh, no. I'd have to leave my bathroom. Oh. We each have our issues. Mine is actually I have to leave my house. That's a bad day. I've been actually quite enjoying leaving my house lately. Gee, I wonder why.

Speaker: I'm not actually wondering. I don't need details. Ever. Ever. I don't need that mental energy. Ever. Well, Jeff. When a man and woman likes each other. Why does those bees and birds work? And they want to connect in a special way. Let me get my kids on here so I don't have to do this talk.

Speaker: Much like, much like in wrestling, the man will sometimes perform a pile driver over and over. Good game. Good game. Proud of you. Good game sport.

Speaker: You want a Gatorade? That's going to be my new thing. When I, when I'm done with my wife and I get intimate afterwards, I'm going to dump the whole thing of Gatorade on top of her. You won't even slap her on the ass and tell her good game. You're not dumping a Gatorade on her. No, she passed me on his head and says, nice try. Maybe next time.

Speaker: I'll give you a C for effort. Just like passing. That's passing. Winning. Winning's winning. Doesn't matter if you invite. It's your mile. A C is passing. I got this. It's a curve. You are the fucking curve.

Speaker: In high school, our curve was like this, and then Jeff came along and it became easier for the rest of us. Made life easier for the rest of us once Jeff came along. It's no longer a curve, it's a cliff. You show up, you pass basically. Yeah, basically.

Speaker: Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you. There's 33 people in this class. 32 of you spelled your name correctly. One of you, Jeff.

Speaker: You would be that guy who would copy the name. I know you copied. You can't prove I copied. You put name as Christopher Glick. Oh, yeah. It got me there, teacher. I don't know what to tell you. Damn it. Cover your paper, Chris.

Speaker: There was it. There was the other there was the other flaw in your situation. You copied off of me. Exactly. I wonder if I did pass. Copy Chris. The six year old teacher a couple weeks ago, we just took him into custody. I thought they said that he wasn't going to face any charges, but his parents might. I'm reading them now. Yeah. I hope they had the taste a little bastard.

Speaker: Yeah, hell yeah. Did you hear about Mr. Alec Baldwin? Entirely, no. I'm trying to get caught up on the news now. But they're saying that he could or could not face charges. But the movie's going to be finished, and it's coming out soon. You can face charges. He's actually supposedly going to be facing charges for manslaughter. Involuntary manslaughter. Yeah, I think that was all a dog and pony show for the cameras, but actually behind the scenes.

Speaker: Because I think he's probably an asshole. He's like, you know what, man, what are you gonna do? And then - Well, we all know that Alex Baldwin's an asshole. That's no secret. I mean, this is the guy who, several years back, had the message calling his daughter a fat pig and a whore like her mom and everything else. Far from, of course, Hollywood. Yeah. But no, because they sit like that prosecutor came out and

Speaker: You know, Alec Baldwin and the gun person are going to face charges with that. It came out after the fact that Alec Baldwin probably won't face any charges. It was just a dog and pony show for the fucking cameras.

Speaker: Yeah, 100%, I guess. He'll get a slap on the wrist, pay a bunch of money to the victim's family that he's already given him a bunch of money, I think. Right. He'll give him a whole bunch more money and the person who was supposed to be in charge of the guns and stuff like that will take all the heat. Yeah, because it usually falls when you're dealing with a celebrity of any kind, whether it be politician or actor or whatever it is.

Speaker: It's they never get charged. They get the lower downs, get a bunch of money to take the hit. Well, I mean, it just depends on who you are and stuff like that. I mean, like, like the whole.

Speaker: I got a little political here for a second. The whole talk speaker documents, you know, they, they raided Trump's Mar -a -Lago, blah, blah, blah. I went in there. Well, here's my question. Now that you've brought, you've reached the subject, so now you've opened up my Pandora's box. But then, Pence supposedly has some too. Chris, okay, Chris, you recently moved. Who moved your shit? I did.

Speaker: Okay, would you have called your lawyers to move your shit? Who the fuck has lawyers move their shit? If I had lawyers, maybe I would because I would have a stupid amount of money. No, if I had lawyers, that would mean I had a stupid amount of money so that I could just have people do dumb jobs because I wanted them to. No, because at the end of the day, when you're moving offices, you hire people to move said office or you call your buddy or you don't call your lawyer to do so.

Speaker: I call my peons, my minions. Minions! But yeah, it's, it's, it's, there's a whole feeling to it. But I am watching it and I'm washing it. Uh, me. What?

Speaker: Nicki asked who's moving her stuff. I said me. Chris says me, myself and I, so there's three of us. Yes, unfortunately. She don't need to bring any furniture or anything when she moves in, so. It should be relatively easy. Yeah, unfortunately I'm not rich and I don't want one carload or maybe two tops.

Speaker: It'll probably be a couple. I'm not surprised none of them had classified documents at all. Not one damn bit. I mean, it's kind of par for the course at the end of the day. As long as they're not like, and then this goes for both sides and selling them to, you know, to other countries and shit like that.

Speaker: because if I'm the president, if I'm the president, right before I leave office, I'm gonna... I'm gonna declassify everything and just take shit with me. I'm gonna declassify Area 51 and go live there. Oh, fucking A. Oh, fucking A. Um, but it comes down to... But it's just, you know, you saw what happened to them on Independence Day. You go ahead. Oh, my God. That was a movie, Tony.

Speaker: Yeah, Will Smith was a monster, was a beast. Walked right up on an alien and punched him dead in the mouth. I said, punch him in the mouth. Walked right up on that spaceship. Smacked him like he was Kid Rock. Get Chris Rock. I'm going to grab you guys like he did Brent Spider. That was fucked up, man.

Speaker: But the speech that Bill Pullman gives in that movie is fucking awe -inspiring. No, the speech Randy Quaid gives in that movie is better than anything. Hello, boys. I'm back. Dude, have you seen the shit that's coming out on Randy Quaid as of late? It's fucking weird. That motherfucker is batshit crazy. He is batshit crazy for years.

Speaker: He is uncle Eddie. Ever since I was a good to my aliens, the motherfucker said. This motherfucker's literally talking about celebrity it squads that he's being hunted. Uh -huh. And I'm like, Randy, how much you smoking, brother? He has been crazy for so long and it's all coming out. Could you imagine being his brother, Dennis, and having to watch the craziness unfold? God damn it, you gotta be related to my father.

Speaker: his brother didn't he's seen it already. Well, I mean, Dennis Quaid, no, no, no shit on Randy Quaid as an actor. But, you know, Dennis Quaid is one of those guys that I think both of them up there. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, Dennis Quaid, he can play anything. I mean, he did that. What was that? The rookie movie where he he he was so disrespect, but he's kind of no disrespect. But he's kind of like the bargain brand brand version of Kostner. Wow.

Speaker: Ooh, I know, but I see what you're going. You're you're comparing him. Him and Koster could you could swap any Koster's role for David or Dennis Quaid and have the same movement. Maybe not exactly, but pretty close. A little bit. I wonder what Wyatt Earp would have been like with Dennis Quaid.

Speaker: Would have been good. It might've been better. I think. Wyatt or Tombstone would have been good with that. Hell, didn't square the Kurt Russell. Shit. I love Kurt Russell. I think that guy's awesome. Oh, I don't know. I wonder.

Speaker: Yeah, like those three guys, those three guys are kind of interchangeable. Could you put Dennis Quaid or Kevin Costner in Big Trouble in Little Chinatown? No. You wouldn't have the same movie. No, you wouldn't have the same movie. I would say any one of those three guys are kind of interchangeable. Kurt Russell, Dennis Quaid, or Kevin Costner. Kevin Costner in The Thing. Kevin Costner in Big Trouble in Little China, no. No, 100 % no.

Speaker: Dennis Quaid, maybe. Maybe. I just can't - But I could see Dennis Quaid doing like Field of Dreams. Oh, 100%. Easily. Even Kurt Russell. Kurt Russell's a little bit more of the goofy one. He's more of the - It's Quaid doing Waterworld. Nobody should have done Waterworld.

Speaker: Nobody should have I was avoiding water world on purpose to Tony's like fucking I'll do it Gills on the side of his goddamn movie The concept of that movie I'm not saying is it's absolutely possible

Speaker: I mean, there's what 70 % of the earth is already water as it is. They're saying what the ice caps and shit like that melt. Say hi, Jeff. Hola. Hola, Buenos Diaz, Cameron Diaz, Nacho Belgrande.

Speaker: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Speaker: This is your first time on the show, Jeff's an idiot. Tony, welcome to the show. This is your first time here. I'd like to introduce you to Jeff. He's a show idiot. So it's true. It's damn true. Unbelievable. Play the song. You got to help your wife. It's not break time yet. Still got two minutes. And then it's break time.

Speaker: When are you going to learn? This is my show. Okay. I'll be trying. I'll make the rules around here. I'll be trying. What are you going to be trying to do? What is this? We'll stay on format. Yeah, we ain't staying on format. I want to stay on format once I need to stay on format. If I take one more drink, take another drink.

Speaker: Running alcohol, starting to kick in. I got a little bit of a variety of music for tonight's show, man. Gonna start it off, take our first break with a little Jomsen Brothers on the run. So, we're gonna take a real quick break. We'll be back here in a few minutes, enjoy a little Jomsen Brothers. Maybe when we come back, Jeff will be back.

Speaker: I'll be here telling you. I'm not expecting him. Jeff, take the time. We got this. Especially you what? You got time? I got this. Especially me. Oh, Jesus Christ. Here we go. This guy. Anyway, we'll be back here in a few minutes. Enjoy a little Johnson Brothers. And if you like the Johnson Brothers, go look up Chris Stapleton. Because he's the lead singer. On the run. We'll be back here

Speaker: Baby.

Speaker: The wind is blowing cold and dark On the road to no way out The change of all the things

Speaker: And I don't get much sleep

Speaker: You can't just slow me down

Speaker: Yeah, buddy. Oh, Johnson Brothers on the run for you guys. Welcome back to Nonsense with Nonsense, everybody. I'm Glick, Tony D's in the building. Jeff is somewhere. They got lost in translation. Somebody put a shiny object in front of his face and he wandered off. Out into the courtyard.

Speaker: like to see now old man that he is. We keep hoping he's going to get eaten by coyotes, but he still comes back every week.

Speaker: I hope you guys enjoyed the show so far. Go check us out on all social media, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok. Join us live every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday on YouTube and Twitch at 6 PM. You guys are coming out in the chatters box. Just shoot the shit with us, all that fun jazz.

Speaker: and your two cents to the show. And if you can't listen to us live, that's okay. Cause you can listen to us anytime, any place on Spotify. And basically everywhere you listen to podcasts that does include Apple podcasts, Google podcasts, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. All that nonsensical nonsense podcast, give us a follow up, give us a like. And if you'd be so kind, give us a share. Tell your friend, tell your coworkers, tell your mammy, tell your Babbie.

Speaker: Got a little retarded kid down the road that likes to eat rocks. Thank you. Oh, a nonsensical nonsense podcast. Jack Daniels, honey. Mickey said, my kid just asked what kind of liquor he can mix with tea because he feels like it's a drinking kind of night. Jack Daniels, honey. Shot of crown. It was perfect with sweet tea.

Speaker: I got a shot of Crown. Crown Peach. I think Crown Peach is pretty good with I've been told that by a lot of people Crown Peach goes real good with tea. You sleep like a baby. Goony Google. Well, if you drink enough liquor, you'll sleep like a baby. Gooey Google as you just said. Gooey Google. We don't have that. I'm

Speaker: You're gonna call me judgment. You're gonna call me judgy. You're gonna share your Southern comfort. You're a Crown Peach with anybody. I am. I'll share it with my nephew. I'll share it with my neighbors. Yes, I am. You gonna share it with me? No. No stingy judgy ass motherfucker. I only have one shot worth left. Oh, okay.

Speaker: Well, let us sniff it cold. He's 22. He's 22. Give him a shot. Fuck out of you. He can go by his own. What are you talking about? Give him a shot. He can go by his own. I see how it is, Tony D. You want to share your liquor with me? All right. You want to share your beer because what's up with your mom? You're going to drink all of that. I give you one. Exactly. That's my point. I already know you don't like beer. You're only going to drink one or two. So here's one for you, and here's two for later.

Speaker: I'll drink the rest of them. Because you can. Because I can. I don't know. Old girl down there can stay and step with me when we go out. So I might have met my match.

Speaker: Economically. Economically, it's a kick of the dick. I'm glad I haven't paid for the bar tab the last few times we've gone out. I'm trying to tell you is. I might make it right. I might. Depends on how you treat your son with that one shot you got left. We'll think about it. Would you give your son your last shot at Crown Beach knowing how hard it is for you to get? Yes, it's not that hard anymore. Oh, they got it stopped regularly. Unless you came down a few a couple of years ago and I gave him a shot.

Speaker: A shot. Just take a shot. So let me show you how we do. So the fellas in the family, we teach each other how to drink properly. You act up as one yourself. Here's a shot. Usually that's why you're my favorite uncle. I try. I try. My nephew doesn't drink. Neither one of my nephews drink.

Speaker: Matthew's a college graduate. My son's a college graduate. They partake in the devil's lettuce. My brother's a college graduate. They're going to drink. They smoke the weed. I don't do that shit. I don't do that shit either. Makes me sleepy. I was supposed to. You had the whole bottle of old smoke. I heard about that.

Speaker: Oh, go ahead and tell him to put that in tea and see how it tastes. No. No. No. How do you know? What are you gonna say no for? You ain't never even had it. Could be good. Could be good. You don't know. I'm just saying. You don't know. No. You don't know. You got the peanut butter. Give him a shot of that peach. And his tea. Tell him to try it. Let's put a little bit in there. He's trying to drink, not go Betty by.

Speaker: It's time to go to bed. People are going to work in the morning. He's 22. He needs to go to work. Well, he does work. Do it. You're 22. It's always a fun video game. It's going to work. You know what I was doing at 22 and working? I was going to military.

Speaker: I made him Cherry Kool -Aid and he's using his flavor. There you go. But you can mix vodka. You can mix anything. Smart. That's how you keep the Crown Peach smart. He can mix. He's off tomorrow, Tony. See, look. Kid's off tomorrow. He wants to get... Oh, yeah. He wants to get all fucked up. He wants to be a bloke and get smoking. He can't wake up. Being all judgy and shit over there talking about Wednesday night drinking while you sipping on fucking rubbing alcohol.

Speaker: I have to work tomorrow. I'm drinking. You gotta cast judgment down upon me. Almighty Tony D. I'm not almighty. I'm not almighty. Fucking Judge Dred over here. Judge Tony D over here. I like Judge Dred. I'll roll with that, Judge Dred. I'll roll with this.

Speaker: That's Tony D. I am the law. Don't be judging. That was a good damn movie. The first one and the second one, they were excellent. Yeah, they were both great movies. Yeah, the first one was a little... Yeah, it was a little corny, a little cheesy, but the second one was more...

Speaker: Yeah, but the Judge Dred comic was real dark, man. Even when they went sideways, it was real dark. That's why the second one was darker than what the first one was. Yeah, the second one was dark as fuck. Carl Urban did a good job. But Judge Tony over here threw that motherfucker over that building. I said, oh, shit. He said, peace out. A -town down. A -town down. All the way down there.

Speaker: All the way down there. Bye. Oh, my God. I feel like I sat down here tonight and instantly pinched something right in my fucking shoulder. You go to chiropractor like I did. All right. I have never been to a chiropractor. I want to go. You better take your ass home. Do you know how many things are going to pop crap? I'm going to sound like a fucking bowl of Rice Krispies.

Speaker: Yeah, I do that when I Yeah, that

Speaker: I don't know what the hell it's called, but that back machine where you basically like pull it down like a butterfly, every time I do it, my shoulders, all from my neck, all the way down my back, just, and it feels so good. I don't let me add a little bit more weight on there and just, I know motherfucker didn't have their earbuds and headphones on, they'd hear that shit out in the parking lot. Wow. I mean, when we first started going to the gym together, she was like, Jesus, he was all right. I tried to do squats, my knees, chick, chick, chick, chick.

Speaker: I'm a fucking two man over here and he's old. And that was back in my thirties. Well, I am going to make it a point to get back in the gym here very, very soon. Cause these fucking, my body hurting the way it has been for as long as it has been is getting old because it's been a couple of months that I've been in pain and it's like, it's never lasted this long. Cause you're older.

Speaker: You got to go. I'm just waiting for the, get my, uh, cyber cyber genetics, uh, implants, universal fucking soldier over here. Make me half cyborg. I'm good. I'm sitting here. I had enough of con.

Speaker: I have to give this movie is just due. Really? Yeah! You sound like Wolf with Alexander Reschenko's mom. Yeah! You're a fucking nerd. You're a fucking nerd. No one likes you.

Speaker: No one likes you. You did that bullshit, don't blame me. No one said you're sitting over there fucking watching The Wrath of Khan. There's nothing else on, seriously. I've seen Furious 7 a bunch of times. I'm good. I thought it was extra. You can get some fucking streaming shit so you can stop watching cable. I got her.

Speaker: How do we make the Fast and Furious franchise go away? The next one was the last one. How do we make them go away? The next one was the last one. Kind of like Tyrese trying to be a tough guy. How do we make that never happen? You start trying to be a tough guy. Nobody's buying it. Oh, shit. Go back to your Tony Braxton video. No, he's doing another co -commercial. Jeez, they owe him money.

Speaker: Hell, by now, he might owe them money. Why are we making stuff non -existent anymore? Is there any way we can make Rocky V non -existent anymore? Is that a movie? No, there's going to be a new Creed movie. Creed III. Yeah, I saw that. Which I'm fine. I mean, I haven't seen the first two Creed movies. Don't ask me why. But everybody says that they're fucking awesome.

Speaker: I saw a second one, good story line. Good story line. The telly one was where he fought Ivan Drago's boy, isn't it? Yeah, I think so. That's the one I saw. Did he kill him? I don't know. They're making another expendables, too. I'm waiting on that shit. Yeah, I am waiting on that shit. That shit will never get older. I think so, but Stallone wasn't in it for some reason. It's his movie. He has to be in it. What the hell is he going to do? But that's his movie. I know.

Speaker: You know, he created that, that, that franchise. Yes, he did. I think 50 Cent was going to be in it. I just want to see what they're going to do. We got fucking Conor McGregor in the new Roadhouse movie. Yeah. Motherfuckers jacked. What kind of a relationship? Yeah, but no, Conor's looking big as fuck.

Speaker: Like his bitch looks like he's as wide as he is tall, all four foot of him. Wow. You know, he's a little dude. Yeah. Shoulders. This shit was hilarious to me. I don't like, I understand though. I understand this shit. He was a bad dude for a minute, but like all fighters, once you start getting knocked out, man,

Speaker: Chuck Liddell was like that man. He was a beast, but after that first time he got knocked out, then every time after that, it was just like glass straw city. Liddell, and what was the other guy? Tito. I was saying, I know Chuck and Tito had quite the rivalry. Tito's a bitch. Who's the guy that was in, therefore, this is silver 2009. Bought silver in 2009.

Speaker: And the guy that was in the Expendables, what's his name? The guy that was in the Expendables was Randy some.

Speaker: Randy Couture. Randy Couture. Randy Couture can fight. Watch that for the 2009. He can fight. That's a bad man right there. I respect him because he took blows and gave him back. Shel Sonnen was another one. Shel Sonnen looked like him, yes. He don't look like your typical fighter. He looked like a little pretty boy, but that motherfucker was nasty in that. General was talking about him when I listened to him. Shel Sonnen was excellent.

Speaker: Randy could tour the fight. I watched him fight. He took blows and he fought, but I got to give it to him. Yeah, he could fight. Anderson Silva could fight. Anderson Silva was great. Wanda Lay Silva could fight. That was a scary motherfucker right there. Wanda Lay Silva? Wanda Lay Silva. But his name was spelled Wanda Lay. But because of whatever country he was from, the W is pronounced with a B. So it's Wanda Lay or something like that.

Speaker: I forgot which other Spanish or Latin country that was. Yeah, he was a fucking monster. That dude was rough. No, that damn Ken Shamrock was a monster. Boy, yeah. Him and Steve Blackman were ridiculous. Ken Shamrock didn't earn the title world's most dangerous man just because. Right. That was a bad man. His brother was a bad man too, Frank. I heard.

Speaker: both of them Shamrock boys were some scary motherfuckers. And you gotta remember Shamrock came up in the day of UFC where there was no weight classes. Yes. Yeah, so he was fighting. Real fighting days if you accept. He was fighting dudes twice his size. He was fighting butter bean looking motherfuckers. You need to put Kimbo sliced in his prime and Ken Shamrock and his prime in the cage together. Ken would have killed Kimbo.

Speaker: I don't know. Kimball took blows too now. Yeah, and there's street fights. When he came to the UFC, he got exposed. Well, he had the fight organized. Oh yeah. He got exposed real quick and in a hurry. He talked all that bullshit about coming to the UFC and being a cage fighter and this, that and the other thing. He showed his ass up there and got showed out. It was nothing but a diet and it was nothing but a money grab because they knew he could beat people.

Speaker: Organized fight is different. Most people can fight until you get an organized arena. It's like playing basketball. Nobody can. Oh yeah, like playing street ball compared to like playing high school ball. Right. I mean, just the kind of dumb it is. Just a part of the movie I can't watch. I'm sorry. I hate when you put the word on it. What? Ridiculous. You never saw it. Why would I have never seen Wrath of Khan?

Speaker: because it's a great fucking movie, it really was. The only Star Trek movies I've seen were the newest ones with Chris Pine. You gotta watch the old ones. I'm not a Star Trek. You gotta watch the old ones. I'm not a Star Trek guy. Well, I'll tell you like this. Next generation actually predicted what's going on right now. Oh, Cam, he would've talked to the missus. Yeah, he had to go out with Juan and Pedro are there tonight. Wow. He had to let them both in.

Speaker: I'm just saying. Oh, Jesus. Okay, this is harder than I will tell or in someone's future. Maybe a spit roast and we're not talking about a home. Well, I mean, maybe we are. I'm kidding. Oh, get me another one.

Speaker: Taze him, Jeffrey, taze him. Be a man, taze your kids. I'm about to. It's your favorite TikkiTok video. Be a man. He cracks me up. Kevin will come out of the closet. Kids bothering you? Taze them. Be a man.

Speaker: or hit them with a stunner, like I've done to mine. Get arrested for doing it, be a man. I don't know what happened. If the wife gets a new haircut, completely ignore it, be a man. I don't know what happened to them. Apparently, I bought their mom a taser for protection, and the kids were playing with it. They must have tased themselves.

Speaker: You seen that video? There's a video. This kid playing with a taser. He's like, whoa, look, he's got like a metal bracelet on. He's like, look. And he goes like, is it? Yeah. I've also seen one where the idiot puts a spoon in his mouth. And he's like, I've got to do it. I've got to do it. And he fucking hits the spoon and gives himself brain damage. Like biting aluminum foil with your back teeth. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah. All right.

Speaker: Oh my gosh. The world is literally going to hell in a hand basket. That's all I'm saying. That's exactly how I feel three times a week. I'm only here twice, so that's on you, Tony. I'm only here once. I'm waiting the rest of the time. Why do you think Chris drinks? Because you're always late.

Speaker: He was drinking before me, so it's your fault. Yeah, I was going to say. He was drinking before me, by the way. I'm saying, the common denominator is Chris is a drinker.

Speaker: I'm a denominator. Well, you know, I told you guys I have a book, you know, reasons why, why Glick drinks and you know, it's uh, it's several chapters. The least amount of pages is just because chapter one. That's on the bottom of the binder. What's up, sir? Cheerio.

Speaker: Whatever the hell you fucking people say. What's this? Both fluids, alphabets. Alphabets, alphabets, those good cool folks. No, it's a multi -volume book. There's several volumes to the book. It's like the Encyclopedia of Metallica. It starts with A. Yeah, right.

Speaker: all the way through the alphabet. Reasons why Glick drink. Get yours now. Order A through Z. For four easy payments of two ninety -nine ninety -five. Download the one page. It's the whole book just because. Well, that's the last page of the book. Like, damn it. Yeah, it's like it's spoiler alert. Spoiler alert. The last page. Oh, but you can't get to the last page unless you buy the entire set, which the last book conveniently, conveniently.

Speaker: Yeah. I just need to follow you up. Yeah. That could be a lot of, that could be a, that could be a large book because I can just title everything my, my podcast, my podcast host, my kids, you know, my previous jobs, my podcast, Jeff, our podcast, co -host, Jeff, my co -host, Jeff, my Jeff.

Speaker: rest in peace to Kirstie Alley. That's I couldn't remember her name for ****. Yeah, Kirstie Alley died. Yeah, she did. Amigo El Jefe. He's one of the things coming through. Even harder. Jeff, you're going to get a lot of chapters throughout the entitled book just so you know. Entire series. I was a prologue dedicated to me. That's all I need. I mentioned in the side notes.

Speaker: Always, I'm in the book, that's all that matters.

Speaker: because that's why. Also, I met Jeff when I was 15. Wow. Do we continue to say volume AA? I'll never go to AA, that's for quitters. Let's go down to Stevie Wonder. That's what AA, volume AA is. Volume AA is just, I'd never go to AA. AA is for quitters. Volume BB? AA is for pussies.

Speaker: Go to BB. Go to BB. Why do I need to go to AA when I can just go on a B -double -E -double -R -U -N?

Speaker: I was watching True Blood again, and I'm at the point where Tara's mom's talking about her demon. I've got a demon inside me. That's Chris. He said, I've got a demon inside me that makes me drink. I am that demon. I like my demons. I like my demons. Leave me alone. Okay. Well, if you're that demon, I really just like my demon.

Speaker: I'll go to that bitch that works at the CVS and get an extra. When the, when the mom is trying to get money for the exorcism, she goes to the bank and she's talking to the banker. You know, my landlord doesn't mind if I get a little behind in my rent. And I was like, what the fuck? She's rubbing her ass on dude. And he's like, what the fuck is wrong with you lady? Not a damn thing. She ain't gotta worry about the bills.

Speaker: she was going to, she was like, oh, you sexually harassed. You harassed me like, bitch, the entire bank saw you rub up against us, poor dude. You demand, man. You're the man, man. I just started, I just. It's like cash cash. We came in here, it was like, what? I was like, will you grab me a beer? He was like, gotcha. Gotcha covered pops. I knew it was coming, dad. You're predictable.

Speaker: You're predictable, dad. I'm like the weather in Ohio. I know what's coming. Speaking of the weather in Ohio. So yesterday afternoon it was like 47 degrees.

Speaker: Last night, overnight, we got six inches of snow. Today, it was 45 and raining. Those six inches of snow melted, and it's been raining all day. And overnight, it's gonna drop below freezing and snow again. So all that rain, all that melted snow is gonna freeze, and we're gonna get snow on top. These little bastards had a snow day today. I'm like for what? These little bastards.

Speaker: Yeah, they're gonna get one tomorrow and tomorrow's high is gonna be in the 40s as well tomorrow You gotta remember Tony they don't do school closings till first thing in the morning so first thing in the morning Oh

Speaker: They said the weather's six below. They were like, you'll literally, now you can do it from a website, I think. But I remember as a kid, having the radio on while standing waiting on the bus, hoping that your school would get called. As soon as you hear your school, you slam the fucking door closed, go back to bed. You want to see kids. Let them hear. Let them hear they ain't got school. One day, we got sent home from school. We got home after a football fight.

Speaker: R. I. LL. Cool J. You say Cool J? Yeah, Cool J. LL Cool J. Mama said knock you out. Don't call it a comeback. I've been here for years. Yes. That's the sound of the police.

Speaker: Uh, by the way, mama said knock you out. I actually got confirmation. My mama said, my mama said life is always like a boxing match. Sometimes you get knocked out. Sometimes you don't. I told mama, won't call it a comeback. I've been here for years. I actually got confirmation. Me singing tequila on Saturday does count as a song. No, it doesn't. Yes, it does.

Speaker: I saw that clip and they were like, thank you. They said that they were like, they're going to let him advance. I said, seriously? Yeah, because I want to see what he's going to do next. It doesn't count. It counts. That fool stood there on my camera. Yeah, he literally just stands there like this the whole song.

Speaker: So first and foremost, we're not on Facebook right now. We're on Twitter and YouTube and Twitch. I was on Facebook earlier, but for some reason it keeps going live on Tony's Facebook page as well as the nonsensical nonsense group page. That was last week. That was true. No, it went live this week too, because I started, I stopped it. That's what I was, that's what I was working on. That's why I played a second intro song. I didn't see it. It didn't pop up on my mind. I didn't see it. I didn't get that look or anything.

Speaker: because it was on. And Tony's ashamed of this podcast. So he doesn't want it to go on. I've looked at my face, but I call it last because it was my face before. Yeah. That all but her deleted it. No, I'm not. I should have nobody watched. I'm going to see him in the headache. Unfriended me. That blocked us. Which is crashing for real? I don't know what's going on with Twitter. He said Twitter's crashing. Maybe it's your Wi -Fi.

Speaker: Maybe it's your weeping. It's going on by just so you know. Awesome. I'll take the word for it. Friday cannot come fast enough, boys. I tend to agree. Well, usually, you know, I love my job. I'm not complaining. But holy crap. We took a half of the use of what you expect.

Speaker: I didn't take it. It was forced upon me. You know, some some some people were born for greatness. Others were have greatness thrust upon them. She didn't even say hi to you or nothing for me. He was saying that's what you get for ignoring her life. He ignored it like that. Everything's going good on my end Cam. You gotta dance with him. He ignored you Monday.

Speaker: I did not know something. Put him off and tell him that you're champ jr. Fucking not that one. She's a fucking snowflake. I've been giving her a mental breakdown for last week because I simply replied to her and say, OK, it's wrong.

Speaker: I agree. Okay. Okay. You can't say hey. Why don't you say okay? It is wrong and disrespectful. Whatever snowflake. You are racist. Okay. Okay. Bye. Is that the same last week? This is a different one. This is a different one. This is the bottom. What? No, I'm sorry. Read the title of the article. Damn it.

Speaker: I can't read the fucking thing. It's so small. The aircraft has taken an epic leap. It's the Air Force. It's going to take an epic leap. It's not abuse, Nikki.

Speaker: How is it if you, okay. That ladies and gentlemen is the pacification of America under the Biden administration and the left that the kids are offended by a letter. You know, so I heard something the other day. No, no, but how, how bad does your life have to be where I have to worry about offending you? Jeff.

Speaker: Yeah. They're trying to make planes like that commercial. Ooh. Who took my damn picture down? What's the top speed on it? What's top speed? They're trying to exceed Mach 5. Fuck you. That's, I'm sorry. That's just too fast. I wonder, I'm curious what its fuel consumption is. Could you tell who I'm down to? Who took the picture down? I didn't touch it.

Speaker: The company's vision of hypersonic flight, meaning speeds faster than Mach 5 is one reserve for clandestine spy missions. However, that's because Hermius wants to bring hypersonic airlines to an airport near you. Yeah. Does it have a deadline where they're going to start doing it? No. That's what I'm reading right now. Yeah. I mean, I could say that all day. That doesn't mean it's true. Maybe by the end of the decade.

Speaker: Yeah, but the problem is it comes down to fuel consumption. Yes.

Speaker: Which is what killed the, what's the - The Concord and the Blackbird. Concord, yeah, that's what killed the Concord. Well, the Concord was - Yeah, it was too fast. It was maintenance more than anything for what I saw. Well, you know what's crazy about that thing is in the cockpit, they had two cabins right next to each other. And before the flight, those cabins would touch. Mid -flight, you could put a binder in there. The spread. Yeah, and I was like, that's crazy.

Speaker: Yeah, I agree it is abuse we know I'll try to tell his ass he don't listen and he's gone Ladies and gentlemen, you're probably gonna get tired of me talking about planes and shit like that. But see I look forward I know I think I I don't I don't that's one thing I don't keep up on is is shit like that because I got watching all that shit I want the concord back and I want to fly on it. I do too. I

Speaker: Let's pull our money and buy one. There's no way to take them. I looked it up late last year. What do you mean there's no way to take them? There's no way that nobody maintains them anymore. You're an aircraft mechanic. Yeah, but I don't work on that plane. It's like you're a weapon. You learn. Wait, wait, wait. First of all, it's like you're weapons. Do you work on every motherfucking weapon?

Speaker: No, but I can learn. You know the basics. It's all ball bearings. As Fletch said, it's all ball bearings. It was made in Taiwan. Yeah, it's all made in Taiwan. I'm just being able to stick it in a run again. My point is, I'm sure you could learn how to maintain. I'll tell you what the fuck we'll do. If we hit the ladder, we will make a movie. We'll do a live version of SWAT cats. They were both aircraft mechanics and pilots. How about that shit? Sure, why not? Why the fuck? And as long as I get to say the line, it's all ball bearings.

Speaker: You can say that line. Do you know what my line is going to be? This motherfucker. Chris, you get that reference, right? You know what my line is going to be? Yeah, your line is going to be, you're going to be at the control tower, calling the flight because you're scared to fly. Nope. You know what my line is going to be? What? Y 'all motherfucking make me drink. Deuces.

Speaker: as I walk away with my case of beer. Two. One case in each hand. Throw it away. Tony. Tony. Oh, I'm getting in the control tower. We gotta buzz the tower. I'm sorry. No, you're not. Buzzing that **** tower. You can't buzz the tower because I'm putting I'm putting I'm putting guns on the tower and if you work it, I'm shooting it. I'm shooting it down. The bullets won't catch us. It won't catch us. I'm going to shoot you down. I'm going to shoot you down. I'm going to have I'm going to have supersonic mock ten bullets.

Speaker: You can't afford them. I'll rip you in half before you even know what the hell just happened. We didn't see Maverick. I don't want to see Maverick. I am Maverick.

Speaker: Yeah, I watch I watch I watch never fight with a 40 year old jet against brand new fighter jets. No, no, it's possible. That's very possible. That's very possible. Yeah. As much as I hate this reference. Yes. It's not about the cards about the driver.

Speaker: The biggest part of that movie was when he when he pulled an F -14 out of there. I imagine if you drive anything, if you fly a plane, anything like you drive a plane, I don't want you to buzz the tower because you're going to crash into it. Who ever stated that I could fly?

Speaker: Apparently, you two in here. Imaginary. No, no, no, no, no, no. I have no interest in getting in the cockpit of a plane. Have you actually flown a journey? I know you rode in a plane or something. Like, there was a jet that I rode in. I flew a little bit yesterday. Yeah, fly along. I've known a fly along.

Speaker: Now I've done a lot of objects to where I could start it up and all the other good shit. So I would call myself a pilot, but I have flown. I would do that shit again. Fuck that. No, don't get me wrong. I think it'd be great to have the power to be able to fly a jet. I did ride it in F -14, but I don't necessarily want to do that. I flew a helicopter. You did? No shit. How fast did you go?

Speaker: I don't know because I was scared of shit. I literally, I don't know if you've seen the video of - You shit pissed and craned his pants. No, no, seriously, seriously, Tony, I literally sat there the whole time just because you have to push down when you hit G forces. No, the soup was you. No, no, but you also have to pare down.

Speaker: If you don't bear down, you will not. I got that point. But you don't know if you brought the sound barrier now is my question. Right, exactly. I have no idea. All I know is I was going really fast. And if I did this, it felt like I was running out of the way. This is our geek moment. Because when I flew, I broke the fucking barrier. I literally did. No, I was scared to death, dude. And I wanted to do it on purpose. The scariest thing about being on those planes is you can see what the fuck is going on, man.

Speaker: I'll make it worse for you. Take your hand off the stick and watch the plane. Well, there's one thing Jeff never does that is take his head off the stick. Oh, Jeff. Working this day. So did you test yourself to be a pilot? I told you in training.

Speaker: Uh, I did not because I know, I know right away. Yeah. Yeah. I know right away. I know right away. I could not be a pilot because they're too short to be a pilot. Well, that, that is actually a factor. Actually I am actually, I believe that's a true fact that he was too short. I would fit. I fit. You would fit the a six. Yeah. 14. I can't reach pedals. You pull the seat up.

Speaker: Hey, Cam, he was on the USS Yorktown. Now, here's the scary part. When you're up there, something goes wrong. Nobody can fucking help you. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Cam, you better get that. That's the scary part about it. And believe it or not, Tony, before I did my agenda, that's what the guy told me. That's what the pilot told me. He says, you know, if something goes wrong, there's nothing I can do to help. And I was like, excuse me? My pilot told me, he said, listen, there's something to go. He said, make sure all your stuff's right. He said, we got to go. I'm ejecting. I said, no problem. I got it.

Speaker: No, seriously, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I

Speaker: I was the, uh, the, uh, jump school. I don't know if we did jump school. Jump school is the scariest thing in the planet because first of all, you're on a perfectly good aircraft and they tell you to jump.

Speaker: And I told him I wanted to, but I didn't do it. My CEO told me, he says, Jeff, there's nothing more unnatural than jumping out of a perfect airplane. Just do it and do it right, and you'll have nothing to worry about. How do you do it wrong is the fucking question. Oh, it's very easy. I know. Wrong direction. You don't open your parachute. No, you're tethered. You're tethered.

Speaker: before the parachute part is my point. You can land roll. You can land roll. And then, of course, if your chute doesn't open, you have to try to open your chute and then cut away and then remember to pull your reserve and then hope to God your reserve works. And you have about 30 seconds to do the three things.

Speaker: and pops landed wrong. Uh, he was 101st pops landed wrong. I think, I think that's what that, why he got like why he was released or whatever. Uh, cause he landed wrong on one of their jumps one time and busted up his legs. I think that's what happened to him. But yeah, he was 101st.

Speaker: And I got to say, I got to say when it comes to, uh, first or 82nd or more is not what real life is like because conversations that you see happen. We haven't talked in a few weeks. Don't have it. Okay. My bad. Last interaction wasn't so good. Okay. My apologies. It is what it is. It is what it is to you.

Speaker: Well, it it's a it's a running one. It is what it is. It's a running commentary that we don't have access to tell me. Understood. I've heard it a couple of times. I'm 41. It is what it is at this point. Yeah, you know, and that's believe it or not, I hear that statement a lot. It is what it is. Believe it or not. He hates it when I say that because he knows how dangerous of a saying that is. It isn't very dangerous saying because I said I wasn't upset you. There's not much that can't.

Speaker: And there's very little at 42 years old, there's very little that can upset me and my day to day. Allow me to say, if it pops, if you're listening, you two fix this shit. I ain't got my father. Y 'all stay connected. We'll be fine. We'll be fine. We always are.

Speaker: Yeah, it comes down to it's running commentary for as long as I know and click it it comes down to Pops and click get into it then pops you like makeup and then pops and click get into it It's it's a running commentary. I said that we don't have full access to we just we sit on the sidelines and eat popcorn Yeah, don't want that's our job as somebody who's a little last week was two years since my father's past

Speaker: Don't fix that. My dad's actually going in for surgery tomorrow or Friday. I'm not 100%. I thought that was a really good lesson that night. Wait, what? Nothing. Nothing. I taught a wall lesson. But he will never forget. I understand that. I've had that conversation. I know what you're talking about. Yeah. Yeah. I've seen you have that conversation. I was going to say, you've witnessed me have that conversation. Yeah, multiple times.

Speaker: don't ever stand a chance against me. I do the same thing but with doors because it's easier to replace the drywall. Why don't punch drywall? Oh wait, I'm sorry. I don't conversate with drywall anymore. I talk to concrete. Speaking code, Chris. Speaking code. No one knows what we're talking about. I talk to concrete and brick or metal these days.

Speaker: I had that conversation with you. The conversation gets through better. I found when I talk to stronger, harder substances.

Speaker: Yeah, I actually there's a Kanye said stronger, harder, faster, or some shit like that. And then he also said, I hate Jews. He said a lot of crazy things. This motherfucker literally sat on a podcast and talked about how Hitler had a good idea. He's not the first one to pursue that.

Speaker: That's 20 years. Yeah, that's all you, Tony. You just said that. He's not the first one to say that. That's not the only one we know. Although, we will obviously like several hundreds of thousands of people thought Hitler had an idea because they followed him. Yeah, well. You got to look at the people that followed him. It was either follow or die. The whole Nazi army seemed to agree with Hitler.

Speaker: Oh yeah. Nice blanket. Nice blanket statement, Tony to cover your head. That was a politician. That was a politician statement. I've never heard one. Why was my father on Hitler? I'm like, what are you talking about? When you bring it down, I'm like, okay, give me a minute on that one. What goes? Well, I mean, I mean, the crazy thing about it was though is that Hitler wrote that book, Mein Kampf, and he basically told the entire world what he was going to do.

Speaker: And they're all like, whatever, whatever, Adolf, you're crazy. Yeah, that's what the people, hey, whatever, little Adolf, little Adolf Hitler, you crazy. You're not gonna flash forward.

Speaker: I'd like to have the transcripts of what Hitler was actually saying translated to perfection, to be like, what was this guy saying? Where he got all these people to follow him. That's my curiosity. And I stand up with Bill Barr on that. He's like, I'm not saying I agree with what he did, but he got a lot of cats to be like, you got a fucking point.

Speaker: And I'd like to be able to make points like that, that people are like, I get it. Let's, let's follow Jeff. I don't see it happening. I'm just saying. Oh, all this beer is hitting the spot tonight boys. Let me tell you, holy shit. Yeah. It's been a day. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't drink.

Speaker: Yeah, I don't really. I don't let that poison into my body. Yeah. Just like I don't smoke while I liked another one. You probably shouldn't smoke. Shut up, Chris. You sound like my wife. Jesus Christ. Wow. As my ex -wife, you're not allowed to talk about that shit, so shut up. Shit. There's a reason why I divorced your ass.

Speaker: part of it was your drinking, the other part was my smoking. This way to get rid of both. Kind of cancel each other out there, which is why we split everything. Not to mention the fact that I, not to mention the fact that I raised the height requirement to ride, ride Click Mountain. So he didn't quite meet the

Speaker: Bye, Tony. Bye, Tony. Where you going? You want to ride a roller coaster? You can sit in the splash zone. No. That's one. You two fuckers already. Come on, Tony. Sit in the splash zone. We'll make sure you get wet. Oh, please. Oh, fuck that. Go off with that.

Speaker: Now, if it was Machu Chi Mountain, you know Tony will be here. Tony will be first alive, boy. Jeff's in Machu Chi Mountain every day. He lives in Mexico. I was going to say, I live in Mexico. I see him. And I'm like, oh, I'm going to stay in my house. Just like, hey, boys. Where the white women at?

Speaker: Oh, speaking of which, Tony, did you see history of the world part two? I don't remember. I think I did. It's coming out. Part two is coming out. Part two is coming out. They're making it as we speak. Why are you excited?

Speaker: You know it's not gonna be anything remotely like a person. Well, it's gonna be wolf. It's gonna be wolf. You know it's gonna be wolf, Jeff. I've seen clips. It looks funny. It's gonna be what I challenged them because Sausage Party made it to theaters. I still haven't seen that movie. You do not let the kids watch that movie. Exhibit A. I exhibit A. Go watch Saturday Night Live.

Speaker: Oh my god, it's so hard. I literally watched an episode the other day, Chris, and I seriously. When did history of the world come out? The first one? I think the late 70s, early 80s. The first one, the last 15 minutes of that movie, do not let your children watch that movie. I'm dead serious with everybody out there. I might have to watch that tonight. Dude, watch this part out there. That's 15 minutes. That is not for the kids. So when did Saturday Night Live come out? 70s? 70s.

Speaker: okay 70s early 80s flash forward to saturday night live in the last oh my god years do you really think history of the world is going to be able to do what they did when it originally came out of course not of course i'm sorry exhibit b ghostbusters came out in the 80s they did a new ghostbusters but you couldn't do a fucking ghostbusters remake unless you made it

Speaker: according to the feminazis and did an all -female cast. And guess what, ladies and gentlemen? Hey, speaking of all -female cast, I'm still waiting on the Brokeback Mountain that stars Emma Watson or Megan Fox and Margot Robbie. I'm just saying. Look at Glick. I didn't see the first one, but I'm in for the second one if it's an all -female cast. I'm just saying. Look at Glick. Shut up. Don't tell me you don't lie and say if there was an all -female version of Brokeback Mountain, you wouldn't see it.

Speaker: You'd be in like Flint. That's not Brokeback Mountain. That's just a weekend. That would be cool. I'm saying I'm in. I'm in. If they want to make that, I'm in. Go ahead, drop. What about the new Die Hard? They're going to make it a female version. As long as it's like Ronda Rousey or the chick from the other chick from UFC that was in Deadpool,

Speaker: She was in she was in the Mandalorian Mandalorian. Yeah, I would not be mad if she did a diehard. No, I'd be totally in. I'll let that woman beat the shit out of me so she can touch me.

Speaker: It's not even a matter of, it's not even a matter of that, you know, her being hot or anything like that. I think, I think she, I think she transitioned very well into acting and I think she would absolutely fucking kill the role and die hard as, as, uh, absolutely. Cause she did good. She was excellent in the Mandalorian. I don't, I can't speak on the Mandalorian. I can't speak on Fast and Furious, but she was great.

Speaker: She was great in Deadpool. Deadpool, yes she was. Oh yeah, she was awesome in Deadpool. Because you see the outtakes. Oh yeah. And Ryan Reynolds just fucking with her. And she was still able to keep her composure. And be able to come right back at him. Yeah, I mean. No, I think Gina Carano would be awesome in a die -hard remake. People will get back on the screen.

Speaker: They want her back on screen. They do. She got falsely canceled. Well, yeah, she got canceled because she leans right politically, and people weren't down with it. But when she got canceled off of the Mandalorian, people got fucking up in arms because she fucking killed the role. She did an amazing job. She was good. What's up, bud?

Speaker: Yeah, some crazy -ass hair going on. And I know Chris has never seen the Mandalorian, but I know you have to. No, I've never seen Mandalorian. Let's talk with you, Jim. As I said, I can't speak on Mandalorian. Fuck you, Cam. What, in the 1870s? Did they have basic training in the 1870s? That's how you got here. Shut up. Wow, damn. Daddy? Dad? I always wondered why my skin was so much darker than the other white boys.

Speaker: Did you get that milk yet, man? Jeff, where did you go to basic at? I went to Great Lakes. Gotcha. And then straight to Pensacola. And if you get the Pensacola reference, you will understand it. Pensacola, a lot of people go there. Well, Pensacola is Buds. Is who? Buds. Seal. Seal? Yeah.

Speaker: I rung the bell. I'm just putting that out there. Don't blame me. Don't blame me. Hey, I thought I was tough until I went through butts. Ring my bell. No, seriously, you show me 100 guys that think they're tough. I'll pick out three of them. Three of them that can make it through butts. Because fuck you. That shit suck. No, that's the truth. Even with Air Force when they had a PJ school and guys didn't make it.

Speaker: because I was going to put in, but they were talking about the swimming part. And I was like, y 'all can swim. They said, no, can you swim? And I'm like, what are they talking about? When they told me, I said, no, I can't do all that. And I was just honest about it. I couldn't do all that. I looked at going in the ocean for such a rescue. I was going to do that. I would have got a kick out of that. Yeah, why not? I saw the Ashton Kutcher movie. Fuck that. I spent a lot of time in the water. Don't get me wrong. Would you be willing to jump in and save somebody? Yes.

Speaker: Could you survive it? Will I make it out? Probably not. Exactly. That's what they told me too. I give the Coast Guard respect because they told me the truth. No, I didn't actually pass floods. Like I said, I rang the bell. You said you rang the bell. I rang the bell. I rang the bell. And most people do not make it. I know a guy. It's a 70 % dropout rate and even more now. At least.

Speaker: Well, they put you in by height. So I was in a group that they called the Smurfs. The Smurfs being the small guys. Which movie? G .I. Jane? Yeah, the movie G .I. Jane is literally the closest example to what Buds actually is.

Speaker: because Navy Seals was not. I got told that a lot. Oh, no. Navy Seals is a fucking joke. Matter of fact, when they filmed it, I was living in Virginia Beach. I know the neighborhood. They filmed some of that movie yet. I knew I had a - Oh, The Guardian? Yeah, The Guardian. The Guardian is that Ashton Kutcher movie where he becomes a - That shit. That's with Kevin Costner, right? Yeah, that's with him and Kevin Costner. From my understanding, that's pretty close to accurate. I don't know, but from my understanding, that's pretty close to accurate. From some of my friends that said they went through that.

Speaker: Cause them guys got an air force left and then right, but it was like, we'll try this out and they came back. The first fall you were doing it.

Speaker: Well, in the Navy, when you do basic, you have to know how to float, which is obviously a natural thing because you're on a boat. And what they do is they have what they call sharks in the water. And so you're floating, and they have Navy seals underneath the water with scuba deer on, and that will fuck with you and pull you under. And if you're not ready for it, you will fucking flunk that. And they revive you. I've heard that. They revive people.

Speaker: Yeah, because I got pulled down. I got pulled down. My wife was telling me about some of this stuff. After the third time I got pulled down, I didn't get pulled down again.

Speaker: Right. Because I punched the dude in the nose. And after running about 25 laps and doing three weeks KP duty, I never did it again. KP duty sucks. Yes, it does. Yes, it does. My dad, actually, when my dad joined the army back during the Korea war, he basically says, the first time you put me on KP duty, I won't do fucking shit. And everybody said, oh, he fucked up.

Speaker: motherfucker never had KP duty once. Not once. He looked like a suck -up. Everybody did KP. He never did KP once. And it blew my mind. He looked like a suck -up. If you didn't get into a detail, you looked like a suck -up. Well, no, it came down to he was literally just going to sit there on his ass, not do it. You put me in a fucking brig. I don't give a shit.

Speaker: Oh, he was one of them, Jesus. Yeah. He was like, fuck you. I'm not going to do it. He really wasn't trying to fucking beat it in. Right. Well, the thing is, is like that was back when drafting was a thing. So he was drafted. Oh, he didn't care. Yeah, he didn't give a fuck. He's like, put me on KPT, KP duty. See what the fuck happens. I won't do shit. You all fuckers starve for all I give a fuck. Right. And they were just like, OK, mark that guy down for no compete.

Speaker: And he spent his entire time in Korea. He was a mortar expert. So he shot mortars. And since you don't give it for we'll put you somewhere where you ain't got to worry about nothing here. Exactly. Yeah. Well, no, drop this missile into this tube and let it shoot out. Right. And he did that for two years. And then he drove a Jeep for a Colonel because they as as

Speaker: We don't want to deal with them, you deal with them. That's exactly what they do. Right. Well, no, basically what happened was you're in Korea and you can get a paint job in Korea for like $5 and look like $100 ,000 paint job, right? Because Koreans work cheap. And they gave him a Jeep because he was on mortar duty. They needed a Jeep. Well, my dad, being the guy he is, being a car guy, took it over, got the fucker painted and it looked brand fucking new. And this Colonel walked by and says, whose Jeep is this?

Speaker: My dad's like, that's mine. He's like, you now drive for me because your Jeep looks better than mine. So for two years, my dad just drove his cat around. He was the busiest fucking tour ever.

Speaker: Of course. I mean, I'll tell you what, go to your room, stay out of trouble, and I'll call you when I need you. That's the fucking life. It could get everything, everybody else. It was like being an end guard and tackle, sitting on the bench, guard the water bottle, everybody come near them, tackle. That's it. And I was like, damn, I want that. I didn't get that. I didn't even remotely. That's some high quality H2O. Let's go to high quality H2O.

Speaker: I'm trying to. I was just letting you gentlemen speak. Oh, we're having a good time. It's not only. That is one of those things, man. Didn't want to be rude. I'm like some people I know. Show me. Yourself? I got something. What? Let's finally check it himself before he wrecks himself. I got my Ziplocles. Who's in your mouth? Can you be sexual, though?

Speaker: Who was it? I said that to the other day. First and foremost, Tony D. A, I'm not Mexican. B, I don't have no muscles. And C, I'm not old up. And D, I'm over five foot three. So who the fuck you talking to? I'm sorry. E, I have a beard that you're jealous of. F, I got an amazing head of hair that you're jealous of because you ain't seen hair since 1894.

Speaker: I've got hair in places you don't have to - Chris, I figured it out. I just figured it out. It just hit me. Tony's a vampire from True Blood. He doesn't age. He has the same haircut he had from back in the day. He's a vampire. I hate you, Jeff. Put it down so. Tony, step outside during the light. Let us see if you catch fire.

Speaker: I think I count on one hand how many black vampires I've ever seen on television and movies. Tara became a vampire. Who? Tara. Spoiler alert. You don't. Oh, sorry. Forgot you haven't seen it all yet. What? True Blood? I'm sorry. In True Blood, Tara becomes a vampire. Yeah, I hated that. I was mad for it. I loved it. I loved it because there went out a lot of black vampires.

Speaker: I know who you're thinking of, Tony D. And he was only half vampire and he was fucking badass. Well, no, I can think of two other black. There was a black man wearing a fucking spotlight. You got Eddie Murphy, you got Khadim Hardison, you got, what's the snakes? You got the people that was a, what's the stars family half vampire? Virginia got my man from the 70s, black exploitation. Yeah. Black people. Black people, baby.

Speaker: There was at least another black vampire. Tara got turned and she didn't want to be

Speaker: Yeah, it was either that or let her die. Yeah. Shut up. That's not my fault. You haven't seen this. It's been 10 years, motherfucker. I give you a six -month leeway. Exactly. I'll let you guys allow spoilers on True Blood, but do not spoil Dexter for me because I've been trying for a long time to get through that entire series and I haven't. I've never watched it.

Speaker: That's just good, Tony. I heard. I've never watched this stuff. I've heard. It's fun. Can you kill him? He's a serial killer. Damn. He's trying to get his whole fucking military career in the chat. Jeff was a five -star general, Cam. Duh. Yeah. Why not? I was an admiral. My uncle's an admiral. You can admiral these nuts.

Speaker: No, I was actually fired in my third class. A fireman third class? I basically went when I couldn't get through buds, I went into mechanic school. And then I had to ring the bell so you didn't get through butts. You don't have to get through butts. You ring the bell. That means you quit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker: She didn't ring the bell. Yes, she did. Yes, she did. She hit it with a bat. It was because she was forced. And then she's actually the senator unrings the bell so she could actually finish. It's all complicated. That's what I'm saying. I don't remember that movie, but all the way because I thought she went all the way through. Actually, you know what? I think she got pulled out. She didn't. I think she got pulled out. No, they tried to blackmail her saying that she was in a lesbian relationship. This is back when there was the no ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't tell.

Speaker: Yeah. And they actually had photos of her on the beach with some of her friends. They accused her of being a lesbian. Well, the entire Top Gun class could have gotten trouble for that. That's a fucking gay movie. According to Tarantino, that is the statement of gayness. But yeah, she was forced to ring the bell. And Dave Chobelso.

Speaker: He goes to the senator to go, and if you don't fucking unring my bell, then I'm mad. The senator said, I'll unring your bell, all right? Then she was able to actually save, what's his name? The guy with the weird name. Her CO. The senator said, you would ring my bell. I'll unring your bell, baby girl. The guy that gives the speech. Viggo Mortensen. Viggo Mortensen.

Speaker: He was a beast to that man. Oh, he was a badass. And she saves his ass. And as he's getting, she's putting him on the helicopter. He's like, I'm never going to live this down. I fucking love that seat. Cax me up. He was a fucking beast to that movie. Boy, that motherfucker turned around. Bird was fucking... I love that he gives that speech about the Bird, the Hemingway speech. Fucking genius.

Speaker: I like when he got old boy for screwing up when it was on an obstacle course, because he caught that shit. Yeah, he caught it. I give him credit. See, people - And that live fire exercise ain't no fucking joke, Tony. Let me tell you. Well, here's the thing. People don't understand the military. You could be about yourself all the fuck you want to, but the minute you make somebody behind, that's your fucking ass. That's your ass. You selfish motherfuckers that used to be in uniform like I was, I still want to fight a few of you fuckers. I don't like that shit.

Speaker: You don't screw nobody over like that. No, because the reason why I wasn't technically a seaman is because if I went into the Seabees, they're actually considered firemen. The Seabees? Yeah, Seabees is construction. Yeah, but I've never heard of them called firemen before. Well, no, when it comes to the Navy, you have three classes. You have Seaman, which is your basic grunt on the boat, then you have Fireman, and then you have Airmen.

Speaker: Airmen are the guys that do what you do, the aircraft mechanics, the guys on the boat doing all the signal shit. Maintenance. Maintenance shit like that on the boat. As a CB, I was basically construction and I did some mechanics.

Speaker: I'm actually the dumb motherfucker that did scuba underneath the boat to make sure that the propeller wasn't getting loose. Jesus. Yeah, it's a fucking scary shit. I did it once. I did it for the experience, because they were like, you want to try it? I'm like, sure, why not? And after I was done, I was like, yeah, never again. It's not going to happen like this. Way too long underwater. Well, OK, we're going to have a break. That's my bad on this one. Yeah. We're going to take a break. I don't have anywhere to be.

Speaker: I ain't got nowhere to go. We're going to take a real quick break. We're going to take a real quick break. Got a little Rocklee EDM combat with another one of his mixes. I do got to download some more of these, but hang tight. Bless you. We'll be back here in a few minutes.

Speaker: Go ahead and check out Rockly at EDM Combat Remixes on YouTube. And I think EDM Combat on TikTok. Go show my man some love. That's my brother from Another Mother. Go show him some love. Hopefully we'll get him on the show here again. But this is his remix of In My Bed.

Speaker: Yeah. Rock Lee EDM combat with his remix mashup. Damn, that was quick. Yeah. And I believe that is the unmistakable voice of when Mr. David Draymond of the rock band disturbed that he matched. That was where Timmy was on that song. That was where Timmy saw. Meeting in my bed. Oh, am I? Yeah. Oh, wow. I know who that is. Yeah. I know who that is. Yeah.

Speaker: And I got a clarification from Rock Lee, but I believe that was the unmistakable voice of David Draymond. Dave Draymond, lead singer of Disturbed, and he mashed up them two songs and added his little mix to it. So that's just another level of his... The cat's talented as fuck, man. Yeah, he is. He's a talented cat.

Speaker: Welcome back to the National School of Nonsense, everybody. We've got Jeff in the building. We've got Tony D in the building. You know me. Well, you should, anyways. I'm the most important member of the cast. I'm Glick. And now you're canceled. Also known as the champ, aka goat. Actually, I'm the good goat. I'm the good goat. Not only am I the greatest of all time, but I'm the greatest Glick of all time.

Speaker: You're still muted. You have her.

Speaker: ever again interrupt me while I'm doing the show intro. I'll do it again. I will know you to a wall and cut off your testicles and shove them down your throat. You wish. And you only get that reference if you watched Reacher. That's fucking awesome.

Speaker: That's so good. But one of my nonsensical nonsense, everybody, as I was saying before, I was so rudely interrupted by one of the seven dwarves from Snow White. Good checks on an official media. I'll do it again, motherfucker. I got another one. Ready? Go.

Speaker: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. Don't forget to join us live. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday night on YouTube and Twitch at 6 p .m. You can come hang out in the chatters box. Shoot your shit with us. Add your two cents to the show. And if you can't join us live, don't worry. Don't worry, baby birdies. We're gonna feed you. You can listen to us anytime, any place, on Spotify, and everywhere you listen to podcasts at. All at Nonsenseical Nonsense Podcast. Go give us a follow, give us a like. And if you be so kind, give us a share.

Speaker: Tell your friends. Tell your co -workers. Tell your family. Tell your family and your family. Tell them what you want. Tell them what you want. Love us or hate us. What truck was that? Still here. What truck was that? As the Rock once said to Kevin Nash, Big Daddy Cool Diesel, fur, fur, fur, fur.

Speaker: I see that goddamn, I was scrolling through YouTube taking my morning shit this morning. And I was scrolling through YouTube and it came up with one of the shorts when the NWO came to WWE. And Hogan wanted to get a picture with The Rock because it was his son's favorite wrestler. So The Rock took a picture with him and then Hogan started talking shit.

Speaker: Then the rock was like, oh, eraser Ramon, the Chico, the bad guy. What I need you to do is take that camera, shine it up real nice. He was like, Kevin Nash, big diesel, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her,

Speaker: You can't take that. It's already been shined up real nice. It's already been turned sideways and show it up all three of your candy ass. I'm like this motherfucking literally just was going to take that three times around the dance floor there. Yeah, it was killing those red liners up there. Yeah, it was. I mean, the rock is so cold back in the day was that that was that shit back in the day. Oh, man, it was I think it's what it was reaching the height of its popularity, too. Well, it was the attitude there. Yeah.

Speaker: But that is one of those funny ass clips from back when they were merging WCW and WWE and wrestlers coming over from WCW and joining the roster and everything else. I mean, Booker T had some, yeah, we've discussed multiple times the feud between Booker T and Stone Cold, which probably had some of the funniest goddamn interactions between any two wrestlers ever. Yeah. Well, Stone Cold or Kurt Angle was the worst.

Speaker: Stone Cold went in on everybody though. I mean, it's Stone Cold. He was so good. It didn't matter who you matched him up against in a rivalry. He just rolled with it. I mean, him and The Rock, the classic rivalry. Him and Kurt Angle were being friends. Fucking Kurt Angle wore that stupid little cowboy hat.

Speaker: But next to the bedpan incident with Stone Cold and Vincent Mann, the funniest thing for me, like I said, I've said it a million times on here, was Stone Cold attacking Booker T in the goddamn grocery store. When you beat him up in the hospital, that shit was a lab. Why you hit somebody over here with a bedpan? I like that. I like that.

Speaker: don't go through Booker T about through Booker T about the registered belt. It was like, man, man, a bitch. What is this? It's so good.

Speaker: clean up at all four. That's a memorable moments and we're all, you know, the him and Rocky singing together. Yeah.

Speaker: Gentlemen, I have a question to ask you guys. I didn't do it, and I don't know. What do you want? Yeah, it wasn't me. It's not a fucking interrogation. Jesus Christ. Hey, we're prepared. That's all I'm saying. It was a simple goddamn question. I didn't say nothing. I didn't hear nothing. I didn't say nothing. Well, first and foremost, I know all three of those things are lies. And the fourth thing I have to say is everything I say is a lie.

Speaker: That, ladies and gentlemen, is not fake news. That is real news. Let me fact check that real quick. Yep. By the way, I'm running for president, which means I should be able to get elected right away, considering I want to. Well, what I wanted to ask you guys, and I've been trying to get to it the whole show, and I hate that it's in the third hour, but it is what it is. Maybe I'll save it for Saturday.

Speaker: Oh my god, you can't fuck it. Jesus Christ. I'm going to save it for the first hour of Saturday. Look, you and me. Yeah. So it's easier. Very the fucking lead. You guys ever, have you guys ever, um, I know Jeff has because, well, I can't say, uh, you know, Tony, you probably tried to pick up ladies at, at the bar. Jeff generally tries to pick up women with the daycare, but as you said,

Speaker: just because I checked on their mom. They can go on all the same rides at Disney. Oh, speaking of which, I got, I got, I got a little question for you. Do me a favor. Let him ask you shit first. Yeah. I'm going to ask my shit Saturday in the first hour because this is actually a riveting conversation. You too, Jeff. What do you have to ask us? Well, I don't know if you've seen, uh, there's a chick on, um,

Speaker: I guess it's the learning channel. She's 23 years old, but she looks like she's an eight -year -old. There's a kick -off. I think it's the learning channel. She's got an hour show in one show. Swatina swarmed his house. The federal holly's are swarming his house. She's literally, she's a 23 -year -old. Better rehash her diet on the internet wheel. And she's in the body of a 23 -year -old. I need you to stop. I need you to stop and start over again.

Speaker: because you glitched and froze out. But I know what you're going to say. The guy who is like the English travel boggler. He's like 26 or something like that. And then the chick who has a TLC show. Yeah. Who stopped aging at like eight years old. Right. She's 23 years old by birth, but she looks like she's maybe 10. And she's dating a 25 or 30 year old.

Speaker: But he's close to her age. She became a payments from TLC. There's a television show on TLC about this girl. She had some kind of brain cancer or something that happened to her. I don't know what it is. But she was like eight or nine, and it stunted her growth, and she stopped aging. Her body stopped doing it. Her female gland issue.

Speaker: I don't know. No, no, no, no. She had like cancer or something like that. So she's 23, but she still looks like she's eight. Yeah. But she became like everybody found out about her from like TLC or Discovery or something random. Or the learning channel or some shit like that. Yeah. Yeah. But she's dating a guy who literally looks like us. He's like 25, 26, something like that. He's the same age as her. But he's also like 63.

Speaker: Social media and everything is coming down on the guy and calling him a pedophile and remind you this girl has gone on television And she's gone on dates. She has now too and she has talked about how hard it is for her to date and have a normal life because she is 23 years old and unfortunately she looks like she's

Speaker: Yeah. And whatever. Like, they showed something where she was showing up to these blind dates, and these guys are like, wait, what the fuck? Is Chris Hansen around the fucking corner? You know, I mean, it's kind of a weird situation because you're going on a blind night, and your buddy's like, oh, she's 23. She's, you know, this, that, and then she's got her own show on TLC. Oh, you're like, oh, that sounds like a catch. And then she walks in the door, and this dude's like, what the fuck? You guys trying to get me locked up?

Speaker: right and nobody but I also feel like this guy's kind of getting her all into the deal because I don't think he started and this is where he's not like he was like she looks good I'm gonna go talk to her yeah I think it was set up yeah this is this is this is where the guy's getting kind of crapped on right it's not like he saw her across the room was like she's hot because

Speaker: You know, it's like he's getting kind of crapped on because on one hand, they're saying that he's going after her and wanting to date her because of her quote unquote fame from the reality television show. And then on the other hand, they're saying that he only wants to date her because he looks like a eight or nine year old little girl. She has cerebral malignant growth. Yeah, so that's Jesus.

Speaker: to be a grown woman and nobody to see, to be a grown adult, a grown person and nobody to see you as such as fucked up, I agree. And she's talked about a lot that how hard it is for her to date. And of course she's got all the arguments and stuff of a three -year -old. She's like, I'm gonna need you to like refresh your page or some shit.

Speaker: So yeah, like this guy is kind of stuck whether he likes her or not for who she is or anything else. He's kind of stuck between either being a labeled a pedophile or be being labeled as a gold digger. Yeah, I don't call it a gold digger. Well, she's famous. She's famous. She's quote unquote famous and she's worth all money.

Speaker: But no, not her, him, the other guy. But he's an internet blogger. He's not known. People know him. He's got a large following and stuff like that. So I mean, the guy kind of just is fucked. She looks young. I would have been like, uh -uh. Because ain't nobody going to leave this shit.

Speaker: Nobody. All she got to do is act like she's enrolled in school somewhere. And that's a wrap. Exactly. You're trying to tell me you really thought this little girl was 22 years old? I can see the judge now. Are you serious? I can see the judge now. All right, we're going to do some proof. I'm going to go ahead and run this game with you. Let me see. Then you come back. She's a girl in the dope.

Speaker: Yeah, nobody's gonna believe that story. But I mean, that's the thing. Nobody's gonna believe that story. I hate it for her, seriously. Yeah, no, I mean, that's the problem. And she's talked about that and she said it multiple times. She isn't an adult. But this is the persecution that any man she tries to date ever is gonna face.

Speaker: This is, this is, you know, and she is famous. Unfortunately, she, she, she's famous from reality and TV. Uh, and, and she just wants to be able to date and live a normal life. She's 23 years old. She looks like so.

Speaker: And like Jeff said, she's talking about guys. You know what? I'm going to hang with you, but do me a favor. You got to wear some ID, because ain't nobody going to leave you. Anybody want to hear shit? I'm trying to get a picture up here on her. I thought I saved it. There's a picture up there. There's a picture up there. No, I want to put it up here on our screen. Yeah, there's a picture. I downloaded it, but it's not showing up in my saved files.

Speaker: Because I think I remember vaguely hearing about it. She did look a little familiar. I think I did see this shit some damn way. Yeah. No, nobody's going to believe him. Exactly. At the end of the day, nobody's going to believe him. Yeah, exactly. And she has seen under no obligation to walk around with identification of herself like, I am an adult. She ain't got to do all that. So nobody's going to believe him. You shouldn't have to. It's a fucked up situation.

Speaker: And they could actually generally have a genuine connection. I mean, I'm not saying they do, but it is possible. No, they could have an excellent connection. Absolutely. I mean, if they met on like, on, you know, some chat room or something, they just kind of talked and like, well, I actually like hanging out with her. She's actually really cool. And then you see her in person go, ooh, I don't know. Well, when they get seen together in public, that's going to be. Yeah. I mean, I mean, the great thing is she can order off the kids menu. I mean,

Speaker: You're an ass. You're a happy girl. I mean, I mean, she's got the body of an eight -year -old, so I'm saying she doesn't eat much, so a happy meal is going wrong. No, no, no, no. I'm just saying, if they walk in and get out of C's orders, a happy meal, that dude's fucked. Man, please. You ain't here.

Speaker: helping your case at all. How is it my case? It's not my case. Damn it, it didn't say. Jeff's over here. Fucking Matthew. He's going for how many moves this time, Jeff? I imagine she's getting about that age where Jeff's going to have to replace her for a younger model.

Speaker: You know how it is. I'm like Leo DiCaprio. He said that **** I did not. He said that **** I did not calm down. You're Matthew McConaughey in days in confusion. You know what I like about freshmen? I get older and they say to stay me. Oh my god.

Speaker: I'm going to press play tax. Prosthetist, fisting, buggies, trombone. Once again, that was Chris saying that. It'd go like this. My oldest daughter is fisting my youngest daughter.

Speaker: It's a real trombone. Goddammit people stop being dirty.

Speaker: Yeah, trust me. I've seen American Pie. I don't need to know which one. This one time at Bandcamp. This one time at Bandcamp. After I saw that movie, I pretty much declared my kids.

Speaker: New day rocks. New day rocks. We got to do like Xavier does. Let's just do it. Go get going real quick. Say what's up. That's a stranger. What's going on, Ollie? How you been? Stranger danger. Did you get moves and everything? We would steal that. We would steal the bean

Speaker: I'm trying to find that picture. I thought I downloaded it work.

Speaker: No, I found a website that I should show to him and her standing next to each other. You don't have to save a picture. All you do is do a goddamn screen share, Jeff. You're fucking everything up. Fucking up the program. My computer doesn't let me. My computer doesn't like it when I do that. It slows everything down. I'm getting a new computer on. What you do is a screen share. Yeah, that's all.

Speaker: Look how easy that was. It looked like Tony. I mean, seriously, that chick looks like she's baby six. She's like what, five? She's like three foot nine? Yeah, she doesn't look that young in her face. Right, but I mean, she barely comes up in this dude's waist. Yeah, but I mean. So it's like. The guy's six, over six foot tall.

Speaker: What? Right. I mean, it's kind of like me standing next to you, so I get it. The guys are over six foot tall, and that'd be like, you know, dating any midget or dwarf or little person or whatever the hell their quality is. Yeah, but little people don't look like they're six. You know, they're not going to... If Tony and I were to... If Tony or I was to date a little person, they're going to look like that compared to us. If you dated a little person, then it's going to be perfect. It would look perfectly normal.

Speaker: She does not, she looks young. She looks like she's too dangerous to any grown man to date her, unfortunately. Right? Once again, if she walked in on a blind date. Oh, okay. Everything's still going good with you in Indiana. Now, here's what's crazy. Indiana's just moving there. What are you going to say? Yes, I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. And that's what she's talked about. She's, she's - Wait, is registered in her name. Excuse me. What are you going to say?

Speaker: Yeah, no, she's discussed multiple times how hard it is and how hard it has been for her to date because of this situation. Because when she does find somebody that likes her and that she likes, they're criticized and looked down on so much. And there's nothing wrong with it other than the way that she looks.

Speaker: So, I mean, that goes back to the, that goes back to the day when interracial couples became a thing. Or, or when, when, when, when, when, when members of the gay community, lesbian and gay community started coming out together and being seen together. That woman is 22 years old. 23. 23. I know.

Speaker: Exactly. And that's, and so yeah, and she's had a very hard time trying to date and trying to connect with somebody because when she does, they'll look down upon it. Now that she's famous, quote unquote famous, and she's a celebrity. Right. Everything she does is out there. So she's in the spotlight. She already had a hard enough time before. So now she cannot date without every man she dates or any man that she's interested in.

Speaker: Yeah, because well, crucified. You gotta look at society's perspective. Society's perspective is the first thing you see. Even though everybody in the world knows that she's 23 years old. Right. They're going to go off of what she looks like and automatically call a man a pedophile or say he's only after her for her faith.

Speaker: I wouldn't even look at the fame part of it, because I think fame is a fucking joke. But if Gwen Stefani locked up to me, I'd be like, yeah, you're hot, but I don't want to deal with your shit. But it comes down to, society looks at people and is like, oh, that dude's dating that chick because she's hot. Because that's supposedly what men first see in a woman, is their looks.

Speaker: right and and regardless of how they met you know they could have met online never knew who the fuck they were talked to remember back on chat back in the day where you could you'd have to beg and bleed for a picture of somebody and this guy's one trying to just trying to make a goddamn point he keeps freezing up

Speaker: Yes, you. You know, it comes down to why would he be the only one that's freezing up though? You're not freezing up because you're in this glitchy because you're in your glitch in action. You're frozen right now.

Speaker: But like, back in the day, when you talk to somebody on chat, or even some of the people in our chatters box here, we don't know what they look like. Like, the best example of that is Chris saying... Damn, Lolly. Damn, Eleanor. Yeah, right? Damn. So, it comes down to... I was attracted to her looks first.

Speaker: so it's a shit situation on every angle. I don't think he was attracted to a look. I don't think so either. I think he was attracted to conversations. Yeah, and you know, look at me and look at my look. But nobody wants to hear that. She's not attracted to my looks. She sure as fuck wasn't attracted to the conversation either. You just groomed it because you met her when she was fucking nine. Maybe with my people.

Speaker: I'm not the one over here making all kinds of crazy statements talking about this. What I'm saying is my wife says that I'm attracted but I don't believe it. Again, founder and president of TPG.

Speaker: Oh, I know. So never once have I ever said, Oh, I'm not saying yet. I'm the first one. I'm the first one to say that. Well, pecker alert over here. Yeah. Well, I ain't never had no complaints. I'm just saying I never had no complaints. I got Tony. Good.

Speaker: But I think it comes out too. Cuz a lot, some of us don't just go in there, Captain Staben, and think we're doing something impressive. A lot of us - No, I've never been accused of that. My god. I have, I have, I have, I don't believe anything other than the - I don't believe the in there works. I don't believe anything other than the in there works. Exactly. That's why I thought, shut up. I don't believe the in there works. I believe your computer finally shut you up.

Speaker: Computer guns and shut up, Chris. You don't know what you're talking about. No, but when it comes to this guy and this girl, you know, I - Okay, this was a fun episode. You two fuckers are crazy. You motherfuckers are the chatter off the chain. Y 'all are too much. I haven't even started drinking yet. I needed this shit.

Speaker: But it comes down to with this couple. I hope that their relationship does well. I don't see him as like, I'm dating this chick because she looks like she's eight. He's probably 99 % of the chance he's dating her because they have good conversations.

Speaker: All right, let's narrow this shit the fuck down. She's grown, he's grown. Very happy everybody mind your business. Exactly. However, it does it when they walk into a restaurant for a nice date and he's kissing on her. Leave him the fuck alone. That hurt nobody. When she ordered the chicken salmon, I mean the salmon season salad and pulls out her own credit card, mind your fucking business. That's right. Amen to that.

Speaker: They ain't hurting them, buddy. They ain't hurting each other. Well, he might be hurting her. I don't know. I know you see that little girl and that big old boy. I'm just saying. She's in pain. She got a bodyguard and he got money. Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe he's a member of the TPG. Yeah, maybe. Maybe he's, you know, hanging out with Chris and I.

Speaker: maybe maybe his stuff maybe maybe maybe maybe his at eight. Yeah, she's got an eight -year -old pecker. She's got an eight -year -old body and then you know, it works. People find you. There's an ass for every seat. The yin to her yang. No, but II think it comes down to at the end of the day, as long as they're happy, it doesn't

Speaker: Oh, and before any goofy -ass pedophiles get any weird -ass ideas, we're not sticking up for you. Oh, no. 100%. No. I agree. I will shoot you shit -ass in the face. I'm glad you said that. Did you see in California they legalized pedophilia? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? It's California, and I'm not surprised, but it sounds like we need to get Chris back on the show.

Speaker: Sounds like we need to get Chris back on the show. Yeah, let's go. Somebody call Cluey. I'm just saying. Tell him what the fuck is going on in California. And ask him about that. Well, I read that wrong. Eleanor, Eleanor. Eleanor, you want to put because, not cuz, because I literally read cousin.

Speaker: feel the elite Senate Bill 145. Are they trying or did they already legalize? I heard they were trying in a couple of states. I, you know, I think it's a good orientation. Well, yeah, they've been trying to join the LGBTQ for a minute, but they, the alphabet word like, are you crazy?

Speaker: I don't know. Yeah, no, no, no. No, they're not even thinking about they're like, yeah, no, no, no. Yeah, no. Because I heard it wrong and I'm reading them now. Ellen Orson complete opposite for me and my girlfriend. She's dating me because I have a great personality, but I'm ugly as fuck.

Speaker: agreed. I'm the same way. That's how my wife. Of course, there's also other reasons. California Senate Bill 145 states that exempt some people from being put on the sex offender list when having sex with a minor who is not more than 10 years younger than him. This section of the laws was causing the store online and causing people to bleed and pedophilia become legalized. The bill seeks to treat all statutory rate cases equally regardless of the minor's gender. What is the new bill?

Speaker: They already have, they already have the Romeo and Juliet laws. Right. On the books. And that's basically saying like, you know, like, well, like my daughter, for instance, she's older than her boyfriend. She was going to be 18 before him, but they're only a year prior to what's the age they were dating. Yeah. A year. Are you there a year? There was your report.

Speaker: Yeah, that's where the Romeo, that's where the Romeo and Juliet cause. Yeah, that's not a problem. But when you give them a 10 year old, basically you're allowing, you're allowing a, at this point you're allowing a 21 year old or a 20 year old. Yeah, or an 18 year old to diddle somebody 10 years younger than them. I'm sorry.

Speaker: Cash is nine years old. If some bitch rolls up in here that's 19 years old and says I'm dating your son, guess who's catching hands? Some 19 -year -old bitch is about to catch these hands because it's 2023. And you already called. So I'm going to treat you. Yeah, no, no, no. You're going to catch these hands. Just like if my daughter was nine years old and some dude wrote up that it was 19. And see, in 2023, these are equal opportunity hands. You're going to catch an equal opportunity ass whooping, male or female.

Speaker: That's a 10 -year age gap. It's different if my daughter is 18 and she's dating somebody who's 28. No, no, no, no. 18, she's an adult. 18, she's an adult. And she's dating a 28 -year -old man. I'm going to be like, bro, first and foremost, we got to have a serious goddamn conversation. I might punch you in your mouth. What are you talking about? What? You said that there was a 10 -year age gap.

Speaker: 10 years older than your daughter? I told my step -daughter. I mean, she's an adult. Don't even think about it. If a dude came in now, what the fuck you ain't? If she's 18 and she's an adult. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Oh, no. We're good. Oh, no. By the way, gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, before you continue, I just want you to know my wife and I have a 14 -year -old ATM. I'm just saying.

Speaker: Like I said, and she's not home. Jeff, I told you not to bring that up on the show because she was not 19 when you met her. She was my wife. She was an adult. You either a lied about her age or you're lying about how long you've been together.

Speaker: No, the thing is though, my wife is seriously more. How does your wife? My wife's 30. Oh, she's starting now because when we started this show less than two years ago, she was 26. No, she's just turned 30. Well, we started the show less than two years ago. She was 23. She was 26 when we started this show. We'll be 30 this year.

Speaker: I just turned 30 my wife's age at that point. My wife is 30. She just turned 30 this year, or last year. How long you been with her?

Speaker: 11 years. If you say anything less than 12 years. That was 11 years. We're 11 years. That's less than 12 years. This year is 11 years. That's less than 12 years. But my wife is 10 times more mature than I am. Kevin's 11. I can believe in a maturity aspect. I can believe that. I've known some mature women for their age. My wife is so mature, it's ridiculous. She's way more mature than I am. God damn it, Cam. What'd he say?

Speaker: She was 19 when you met her? Yeah. She was an adult. Exactly. By most legal standards, she was an adult. Now, there's a difference there. There is a difference. She was a young adult, but she was an adult. Yes.

Speaker: Here adult, you can drink at 18 here. But the drinking age here is just a suggestion. Someplace you can drink 16, 17. Yeah. The drinking age anywhere you go is a fucking suggestion. I was drinking and I was 16 years old back home because I wore a football jersey. Yeah, but drinking underage in the States, regardless of... Depending on the state is a way more serious charge than it would be here.

Speaker: here, they're just like, okay, don't do it again. You know what the worst charge, you know what the worst charge I got drinking underage was? Yes, but you have an exception because you're in Ohio. No, it's not you that's going to get in trouble. Stop it. It's not you that's going to get in trouble. You got lucky like a motherfucker. Bet. And your clearance did too.

Speaker: No, because - It's not only that, so did the bar. Exactly. Yeah, but not everybody does. That's our point. What do you think I told him what bar I was at? No, but you're telling people you were drinking at the age and you're from your hometown. You think I told him where I bought it at? No, but you're telling people you were drinking at the age and you was in your hometown. Yeah. I wasn't in my hometown. This is also the guy who was 19 getting a police escort to McDonald's at two o 'clock in the morning because he was hungry.

Speaker: and they wouldn't drive me so they told me to drive myself so they told me to drive myself and I have a police car for me and a police car behind me and they're like go get your McDonald's you drunk fuck

Speaker: I didn't call 911 first and foremost. I called their I called their home number and I said hey I'm hungry. They're like the only thing they're like hello Christopher and I'm like

Speaker: Can you guys bring me McDonald's? And I had two police officers show up and say, we're not bringing you and we're not taking you, but we will give you a police escort. I felt like a rock star. Okay, and this is obviously way before Uber, and Uber eats and stuff like that. I explained to my son yesterday, and Tony, you ever want to blow your kid's mind? Explain to him that you're older. Jesus Christ, I'm glad you finished that sentence.

Speaker: Explain to him that you're older than Google. And that you're older than the internet. My son literally could not get the title. The Bible is barely older than Tony. Google is going to blow their mind. My stepdaughter Craig, my father looked better. I said, OK. My kids have made fun of me because I was born in the 1900s.

Speaker: Yeah, I said late! 1900s. Yeah, you know what? We're at that point in life that if your driver's license starts with 19 on your birthday, you are legally allowed to pretty much do anything. Tony was born in 1843 BC. Look who's the one that didn't get flushed. Hashtag winning.

Speaker: I'm the chair, baby. The champ is here, baby. Oh, hell yeah. Wasn't they said in in that standard movie? What's it called? Awkward. No, the other one. Fuck. I literally was just watching it. I wasn't.

Speaker: With Matthew Muldeen, where he joins the military. He joins the Marine Corps. Matthew Muldeen? Yeah. I can't remember the name of the movie. Fuck! Muldeen? Matthew Muldeen. Muldeen, M -O -L -D -I -N -E. No fucking clue.

Speaker: You're asking me how to spell, I can barely spell my own jacket. Full metal jacket. Full metal jacket, yeah. Yeah. Uh, they said in full metal jacket, the best part of you rolled down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up on a statement on our mattress. That might have been effective if it didn't take us 20 minutes to get to it. I know. It was better. Full metal jacket with the shit.

Speaker: I love the water hose guy. What? That **** bathroom. He's like, I want to slip my tubes. I love you. Good night. Well, active duty. I've gotten a

Speaker: Love you. I did that. What? That's right, Illinois. I said, I love you. I love you. Good night. I'll wreck your freedom ribbon. What's that mean? Ribbon. Global war terrorism ribbon. Oakleaf clusters for honorable service. I got a few. I got a couple. I got the. I got that come get in the military badge, Chris. And as always, I got the.

Speaker: What did you say? I missed that. I got the Orkin Gold Star as always, a DD214. DD214. I got the ORKIN Purple Heart. Orkin. Orkin. As in I survived spraying some hornet's nest.

Speaker: Motherfucker, you've seen some of them goddamn, we got them fucking killer hornets, killer motherfuckers as big as your fucking face. Dude, that reminds me, you've ever seen the movie, Attacking the Killer Bee? Yep. What about you, Jeffrey? So, bring me the fuck out. I had a - I had his decoration or ribbon you received on active duty. Active duty. Active duty. I mainly, mostly my goal was not to fuck up. Jeff got the, uh, Bronze Star and BJs.

Speaker: He got a purple heart because his rectum uh was destroyed because he decided to take on eight dudes at once He got the avian the avian bronze star and the avian purple heart but for those of you who don't know what the avian is that is uh adult a video Wow avian

Speaker: I don't video. Jeff also won the LGBTQ come guzzler three stripes five star general. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I can't even dignify this with an answer, Tony. You know, literally. I mean, yeah, I'm just. The disrespect. No. I'm just saying. What we're talking about another man sexually makes me pause.

Speaker: You know, I'm an ally. I'm secure enough in my sexuality as a man to discuss homophilic. Homophilic. You're trying to share it with other men. That's how you sound. Yeah, you do. Oh, you keep **** around. I'm going to share it with you. It's like you're asking for invites. Yes, I will. They have me chloroform. Chloroform does a lot of good things. Tony, smell this.

Speaker: I'm going to end up like that bitch in Silence and the Lamp. Down in the West. You're going to end up like, yeah, you're going to end up like Ted Beatty on Deliverance. I'm going to fuck around and find yourself in a well. It'll be lower in a basket down there going to put a solution on Tony Skinner gets those again.

Speaker: I have you **** looking like the writer in misery. You keep **** around. **** me up.

Speaker: turn to you. You want to go to the haunted house? Nope. I'm going to keep my black ass in the car. You take your white ass in the house. I like this. I'm going to sit in the car like uh. I got it running in gear motherfucker. I'm ready to go. Come on like Falcon and Winter Soldier. Look at you like this. Mm hmm. I told you stupid ass. Keep going. Don't you stupid. Go inside that building. I'm going to watch. Eleanor said you want a gold star for being old, Tony D? Jeez Louise.

Speaker: Oh yeah. Did you get, did you ever get any, uh, decorations or ribbons or anything like that? Jeffrey, the ones that I described. I didn't get any of those. I, I, I said, uh, Glick's going for those. And they were like, Ooh. Cause as, as much as your quote unquote known, you're not known. I'm known, I'm known to answer your question earlier. I did do sniper school.

Speaker: Is it? I saw mine. Well, Joe. Yeah. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

Speaker: I agree though, Jeff. I don't even know what the hell he just said. Yeah, I'm being weird at three hour mark. That's what he was saying. I do too. I gotta get up. I still got crap. I still need to do. I got like 45 emails. I still got answered. You still got crabs. Crap.

Speaker: can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't

Speaker: It's my co -host, the vagina. This is bleeding. This co -host says, we're making more money than doing this shit. That's why we're leaving. We have other things to do. Well, you know, Tony D, maybe, just maybe, if my co -host would put a quarter of the energy that I put into this show as far as helping it grow and growing and everything like that, we can be making money out of this.

Speaker: I doubt we made the money on me. However, I have tried. I'm just saying, being the only guy who does 99 .99, nonononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononon

Speaker: I mean, both things that you can get and play with in Vegas. This is true. Am I wrong? Crabs. Crabs. Crabs. You picked up and crap. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Winky Winky. One thing I'm never going to. I don't think Tony.

Speaker: probably not. He probably walks in. Of course, we've all seen a formula jacket. This is true. Tony's not getting sucky, sucky. Five bucks. We love you all the time. We've all seen formula jacket. Two buku. Two buku. Two buku. Two buku. What we have here, young lady, is a fine example of a Mississippi Black's name.

Speaker: Oh, man. What did you just say? What the hell did you just say, Tony? I mean, I said my piece of murder on occasion. Okay. Calm down, Cachala. Calm down, Agent Ross. Wow, I had complimented you, and then you got to call me Agent Ross. I complimented you, at least he was CIA.

Speaker: that's about the only good point and not. Yeah, you're that **** in the first Wakanda movie that got his ass handed to him by Black Panther. You're the **** of the best shot trying to get on. You are Michael Jordan's son. **** I heard it coming. I saw it coming a mile **** way. I said

Speaker: like boys to men said we have come to the end of our road and like Jeff at the glory goal. We are. Sounds like a lot of wishful thinking coming from his end to Doni. Well,

Speaker: Yes, but once again, you're a catcher, not a pitcher. That was never the case. And I beg to differ. The fact that I'm bigger and stronger than you says a lot. A word that rhymes with grape, but a hard emphasis on the R.

Speaker: Yeah, they don't call me Spider -Man. Open the eyes. Well, open the eyes. Season one, episode one. I've never seen that show. I've never seen that show either. I've just heard that the grape scenes are very goddamn graphic. Yeah. Yeah, I'm good. Yeah, I'm out. Yeah, I'm out. I do want to watch Prison Break. I heard that's supposed to be good. It was good. Well, yeah, but that's not on the level of Oz. Yeah, that's where I heard.

Speaker: I just, I've seen a couple of clips of them and I was like, who that looks like? They literally haven't done any prison show like since. They haven't. And for good reason? Yes, for good reason. Well, now he, nowadays, he has to watch with amazing. I honestly don't know who the cast is. I've seen like posters and that's it. You would be surprised how many stars were on that show. Oh, really?

Speaker: Now I did watch a couple, I think I watched the first season of Orange of the New Black, but that's just kind of. That was actually a good show. That wasn't even remotely anything near being what Oz was. That was a chick show and it was like, we're gonna pretend like we're in prison.

Speaker: Yeah. Just like Google the cast of Oz. And I mean, there's a lot of heavy hitters that were on Oz or cameoed on Oz. But I don't know. I've never watched Oz. I have no desire to watch it. But I mean, it's kind of like. Considering there's a lot of breaks in there, I'm good. Well, it's kind of like a show the wire. You could never redo the wire. It wouldn't fly. Right.

Speaker: It was a cop show, but it dealt with dirty cops and drug dealers and stuff like that. You think that's the same guy that created Sons of Anarchy or somebody who worked on it? I think so, maybe. I don't know. Well, the guy who played the thing in the first Fantastic, Michael Chokas. Yeah, OK. Yeah, he was the truck driver that ran over Jax at the end of Sons of Anarchy, by the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was in the wire.

Speaker: Yeah, okay. Yeah. The Wire, I guess the Wire. The same creator, the same series or director or something. Yeah, I guess The Wire was actually a really good show. From what I understand it was. But I never watched it. Well, the guy who does the State Farm insurance commercials during football, I think he was in Oz and he was in The Wire.

Speaker: He was in Oz and he never lived that character down. No, well, lately, you know his newest character. He played God in the Lucifer TV show. It's fucking hilarious. Oh, did he really? I just started watching that Lucifer television. That shows excellent. It's kind of campy and goofy, but it's very cool. And of course, my favorite line is when Lucifer meets the little girl,

Speaker: the detective's daughter and he's spoken in the school she's like you can't smoke in here he's like this is mom she's a cop and he's like oh i think i might know your mother and he's playing with his lighter and it's so fucking funny and she's like she asked him

Speaker: He's she says her name. Her name's like Roxy or something like that. He's like, that's a hooker's name. And he goes and she looks at him and goes, she's like, what's up? He goes, he goes, ask your mother. This show is genius. Oh, the show. I got to blame TikTok for getting me to start watching Lucifer. It's good. It's actually really interesting because they show the clips from this. They show the clips from that show. But then there's the one there's the one clip like

Speaker: Oh, Jesus. Well, Eleanor, craves and graves. Not what we're talking about. Heart emphasis on the R. Yeah, we're saying it so we don't get blocked. I'm just... Silencey, silencey, hard heart. Hard heart. Hard heart.

Speaker: Oh, maybe, maybe we might've unlocked the, maybe we might've unlocked the King for Eleanor as Xbox says new achievement. You've unlocked the new achievement. Get that, get that little trophy that they give in PlayStation.

Speaker: The concept's really good. I love, Christy, you're going to actually start to like Detective Deutsch.

Speaker: He plays the main cop's ex -husband. And the Lucifer constantly calls him Detective Douche. Because he's kind of an idiot. Did that TikTok just say, what wife's boyfriend just got me?

Speaker: It's going to take his Wi -Fi to grow up in the show. Yep, pretty much. What are you talking about? I tried it in the show. I was going to announce music and everything else, and we started talking. I'm sorry, my bad. What were you saying about Lucy Fern, Officer?

Speaker: No, so the main cop, the girl that Lucifer likes, her ex -husband is Detective Dan. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And Lucifer calls him Detective Duke. Actually, you'll start to like him. He's got this weird kind of thing. You kind of have to like him. Well, yeah, I'm only in the first one. But I love Mays. I love Mays. Lucifer's not a little headband. Is that the chick? It's the chick that's Lucifer's... Yeah.

Speaker: She's like, she's like her right hand man. Well, she's actually, you know, I know she's a demon. I'm, I don't know how many episodes I am into the first season, but no, it's what got me onto it was all the, all the, all the like shorts on Tik TOK. And then there's that one where.

Speaker: Yeah, everybody does, you know, how he found me, how he loves me, how he protects me. And it's that scene from Lucifer when he's still an angel and he brings his wings up and grabs them around. Yeah. And I'm like, all right, I got to check this dude out because I already kind of like this dude. Like, oh, he's just, I like his cockiness and his arrogance. Surprise, surprise. I like his arrogance.

Speaker: The humblest guy on the podcast, like some arrogant prick. No, but like he plays, he, he totes the line of being arrogant and caring. Perfectly. Yeah. Like if he went too caring, you wouldn't believe it. If you went too much of a dude. So far, so far what I've seen, like he's, he's on that, he, he tiptoes that line and every once in a while. Wait till you meet his brother.

Speaker: Yeah. I got to get back into that show. His brother looks like Tony. I'm literally on the left. I'm literally halfway. Paul. His name is his name is. What do you say at all, Paul? Have you guys look the same? His name is Amenadel. I think his brother is black on a TV show. His brother is black. Yeah.

Speaker: But his brother, his brother has spent his entire time in heaven. So he comes down to earth. I hate crepes with the silent C, but I love crepes.

Speaker: Yeah, we were talking about pastry. I'm just saying. Yeah, we were not talking about fruits either. Yeah. Yeah. They have so many, they had so many grapes, green grapes, red grapes, purple grapes, cotton candy grapes on. Oh, she had that moment of clarity.

Speaker: Continue to watch Lucifer. Fuck, I might have to start watching it again. It's kind of like all major crime TV shows. So each episode, there's a crime, but there's a backstory to every character. And I love the little forensics, the little Latina chick. She cracks me up. She's hilarious. I can't remember her name. The forensics expert.

Speaker: that works on the team. Nice. But yeah, continue watching. It's a great show. I loved it. Tony, Tony, Tony. It's my anniversary. This motherfucker, he's done. He's so done. He's over our shirts. I'm fried tonight. Tony's like, for you.

Speaker: You know what I'm gonna do tomorrow? If I decide to go to work because, you know, the roads won't be too bad. That's the one part about working wrong that sucks. I never have an excuse to miss work. Except for, except for two Fridays ago when I was throwing up and I couldn't make that. Well, you know, the first two to four hours of my day, I'll take a nap.

Speaker: the last four hours of my day, I'll go make fun of my contractors and call them a bunch of pussies and say all kinds of terrible things that would definitely get me blocked on social media to my contractors with another one of the contractors as him and I walk and berate every other contractor that's working. And then I'll go to my other building and I'll smile and be nice to everybody and look pretty and chat.

Speaker: Well, Amanda, nice of you to show your face. It's a rough life I live. Wow. Hey, fellas and Glen. But you know what? Fuck you too, man. Morningstar, both Lucifer and Jesus were Morningstar. Yeah. Well, it's a horse of a different...

Speaker: Yes, Eleanor. Different Oz. Not the Wizard of Oz. The prisoner. She's like, I love Dorothy and the good widget window and man, she was something else.

Speaker: Yeah, not that awesome. Trust me. The man behind the curtain. It's not the Whiz. It's not the Whiz either. Yeah, we're not talking about the Whiz. The man behind the curtain was doing a whole lot of creeping if you know what I mean.

Speaker: You know, the old saying, it's not great if you yell surprise.

Speaker: Or crepes, or crepes. In Illinois case, it's not crepes. It's not crepes if you don't surprise. Surprise, Tony D. Or Samuel L. Jackson would say, surprise, motherfucker. Surprise, motherfucker. Actually, that's your texture, believe it or not. Well, yeah, that's so. I think I've got that part. That's texture. No, no, no, I know. I've seen like

Speaker: All the way up to, no, I've gotten where he meets, what's her name, not Reese Witherspoon, the other chick looks like Reese Witherspoon. Who? His apprentice, his protege. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I've gotten past Rita dying and all that. You need to see the new. There's what, there's what, six seasons?

Speaker: Yeah. And then there's the mini series. I think I've made it. I think I've made it all the way through the fifth season. He's watching the man. I'm just watching. Yeah. It's not that time. You sure do. You got a pretty mouth. Let me hear you like a big boy or Ned Beatty, man. He didn't make it close.

Speaker: and thank god for Bert Reynolds. Amen to that. You mean what **** If I ever go down that river, make sure I'm taking Bert Reynolds with me. Cuz that motherfucker says. You better get you a **** weed you. You better get you a **** weed you boy. Yeah. Now. Well, don't worry cuz there ain't no weed at all. I'm going down that river. That's that a deliverance and wrong turn. Same area.

Speaker: basically don't ever ever go to West Virginia ladies in general 100 % that is the little PSA from nonsensical nonsense there's no reason for anybody to ever the moral of those two movies stay the fuck out of West Virginia yes that's boom stay out of West Virginia unless you like crepes

Speaker: super creepy the man behind the curtain is super creepy yes he is oh yeah definitely time to end the show i'm tired my head hurts i need to go lay down in my air condition

Speaker: You learn what not to say in real life. Good thing we don't have an HR department on this podcast. They would literally drink more than you. I am the HR department.

Speaker: Yeah. I am the HR department. Call 1 800. Nobody gives a fuck. All that line doesn't work. We'll check out our website www .fuckyourfeelings .com. Oh, that don't work. You should email us at fuckyourfeelings at gmail .com.

Speaker: The H .I .P., or Noncical Nonsense, to put it in a movie reference, is Romy from The Client. You know, he tries to drink himself, take pills, ends up just shooting himself because he can't kill himself trying to use the hose and the tailpipe. I just watch The Client. Hashtag new chapter in Glick's book, Why He Drinks. Because Glick is the HR department of this fucking podcast.

Speaker: that's that's chapter H. H. R. Chapter twenty six. Chapter twenty six in book eight.

Speaker: It's like a reference guide. The reasons why Glick is a reference guide. I got a, I got, what is it? What is it? What is it they call that in the library? The, uh, when you go to the little file cabinet, you look at the, uh, it's the index. It's the, uh, yeah, but it's got a name. Come on, Tony. You're smarter than me. It's a card catalog. Yeah. It's a card catalog, but it's got a name.

Speaker: The Harro, no, not Harro. The Dewey Decimal System. Oh, the Dewey Decimal System, yes. Yeah, the Dewey Decimal System. I think Tony said that, yeah. Yeah, it was like the Dewey Decimal System of nonsensical nonsense. West Virginia, full of creepy siblings, wife, husbands, brother, sisters, brother, brother, daddies, brother, mommies. Yeah, when your mom's your dad and your dad's your brother. And your grandma's your uncle. Yeah, do that, Matt.

Speaker: I threw that out there for my broster. Hashtag Nick. Chris, I don't know if you've ever seen the hit charges guided the galaxy. But on the book on why click Griggs on the back cover, it says bright letters. Don't panic. Nice. Shut up and give me a beer. Shut up and give me a beer. Nice. Make yourself useful.

Speaker: Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.

Speaker: I don't know. Get away. Get away. Get away. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. That means large. I don't know. What did she say? Did she really just try to give me the last word Spanish? Huh? What'd you say? What'd you say? Do you know what you're saying? Yeah, go away. What did I say? What did I say?

Speaker: What did I say? I know what I'm saying. I speak Spanish. Chef lives in Mexico. I can say it again. You don't even speak Spanish. Shut up. Four years, A's. I took four years in Spanish and got A. All four years. And I live in Mexico where I have to speak Spanish daily.

Speaker: No, I never stepped foot into a Spanish fucking speaking class my entire life. But according to my high school transcripts, I took four years of Spanish and got an A all four years. I cook it in high school when I cook again. Oh, let me guess. I took it as a nap.

Speaker: This fucking kid, I swear to God, her fucking boyfriend. He's Russian. He's Russian. He's Canadian. He's Jewish. He's Scottish. He's fucking Yugoslavian. What? He's French Canadian. He's a fucking jerka. Oh, he's the worst kind of douche. He's the worst kind of douche. He's like everything. He's Indian. He's a Pittsburgh Steelers fan.

Speaker: Yeah, I'm just saying right there. That's. We don't know. Shut up. You don't even know what Tex Arcana is. Tex Arcana? Yeah. Nobody asked me a dirty whore. If I wanted your lip, I'd unzip my zipper. Shut up, boy. Yeah, shut up, boy. And he's also a ginger.

Speaker: Yeah, right there. That's a, that's a, that's a hashtag against it. Careful, boy, you'll get crepe. Elinor, Elinor, does HR have crepes? Have a crepes department? Or a crepes department? Yeah. You like, you like grapes, boy?

Speaker: You like grapes? Hey, boy, you like grapes? You like your grapes fried? I like French fried grape. I reckon I'm going to boil grape you later on. Thank you, man.

Speaker: This smells like a, this smells like chloroformin grapes to me. Must be Thursday time for chloroformin crepes. As the French say, crepes. Really?

Speaker: Okay. We're going to have to give you guys a lesson. Uh, it's grapes and or craves with a silent G or C with a hard hour. I took three years of French and I can ask where the bank is and I can count to five and tell someone to fuck off. That's all you need in France. Apparently I had two Mexican sisters and I know how to swear a lot in Spanish. Oh no. I can swear like you read about.

Speaker: Apparently, a bendejo is not a compliment. It's actually not a bendejo, it's a pendejo. Whatever. My bad, Punta. Punta is a period. Punta is a whore. My bad, punter kicker, kicker, punter guy. How about you choke on my dick?

Speaker: Small things are choking hazard. Remember that. That's a warning late one every day. Okay. Okay. Oh, actually Joe said it's cute. It's cute. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker: I'm sorry. There's a different daughter saying that K answering K for okay was I apologize. Okay. Okay. Okay. Bye. Bye.

Speaker: She's got a complete total meltdown like the last two weeks over me saying K to her. So you know what I do? Every response, K. I even send her gifts. I even send her gifts.

Speaker: Just a little K dancing. She's got, she's got Dickey, she's got Dickey on her side of like, tell me to like, no, she's a snowflake. And now she's now, and now she's acting crazy. So I'm going to have fun with this. Oh yeah. I'm not on your side. I'm not on your side of a lot of things, but I'm on your side. Yeah. I'm Batman. I know your weakness and now I'm going to use it against you.

Speaker: unless our moms have the same name. And then apparently that just goes against everything. Batman versus Superman. When Batman was about to kill Superman.

Speaker: I'm going to gentlemen more take care man. Thank you for coming. Our bombs have the same first day. Oh boy. Go ahead. I gotta go to Jesus. It's gonna take 30 minutes. Nikki. Thank you for coming through. Steve Warner Mark.

Speaker: I knew this shit. He gonna keep talking. I had a song picked out. I had a song picked out. Oh no, I had the closing song picked out like before the show ever started tonight. But for me being the master mastermind that I am antagonizing. Prolonged this. Exactly.

Speaker: Yeah, Tony, Tony. Do you need some extra observant, extra large man pawns for your period, Tony D? Oh, you're the bigger paycheck than what you're getting. Understand why the fuck I'm going to bed. I mean, we can compare paychecks if you really want to. I feel like you and I probably make pretty close to the same thing. Close. And I wasn't in the military. I didn't have to. No, but you're still doing it now.

Speaker: I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm

Speaker: On my tombstone, we'll read, here lies a man. He's a hero. They will tell stories of this legend because he drowned. No, that's what they're going to say about your liver, not you. Oh, my liver. My liver, I don't even have a liver at this point. It gave up years ago and walked out on me. Much like the women in my life, it walked out on me. Or parents.

Speaker: Yeah, there's no liver they did it walked out a long time ago and said fuck this I'm out Who's like Do you appreciate y 'all listen we appreciate y 'all hanging out sorry my co -host our vaginas

Speaker: I'm sorry that the hoses. I am what I eat. I can't help it. Great crepes. Great and crepes. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Love you, brother. We appreciate y 'all listening. We appreciate y 'all hanging out. Go ahead and check us out on social medias, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and take time. Join us live Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday nights on YouTube and Twitch and you can hang out in the chatters box and

Speaker: And if you can't join us live, listen to us on Spotify and everywhere you listen to podcasts at all at nonsensical nonsense podcasts, give us a follow, give us a like. And if you'd be so kind, give us a share. We don't ask for much around here. Just give us a share until Saturday. Enjoy a little bit of the artist formerly known as Rum Springer now known as over and out with that one, Rick.

Speaker: Doctor, gimme the news I got a case of the low knees But I don't wanna lose My mood, it keeps on going now I'm ready to go I need a new machine, can't go on my own It's been too long and I've had too much Time on my hands since I last had a fight But there's a change of common baby, I can't tell Cause God sent an angel straight from hell

Speaker: Cause he ain't the only one who's growing old

Speaker: Yeah, see the way she moves, got me spellbound They put me in a trance to win the dress that's the ground High heels, blown hair, got released It's time to dive in line for the smile I'm about to say The galaxy is thin, I can't believe my eyes And when she's just dancing dirty, it's true through the night But she's got me praying and I'm down on my knees Man, if there's a holiday, then I'm happy to be here She's here in a red dress

Speaker: She's a devil, devil, devil, devil, devil She's a devil in the red dress Whoa, it's even better when it hits the ground She's a devil in the red dress Cause I was lost but again I have to

Speaker: Cause we ain't being only one and kind

Speaker: you guys. Thank you guys. Thank you guys for hanging out. We appreciate you all. We will see you Saturday night live 6 PM YouTube and Twitch. Nonsense. Nonsense podcast. Come hang out with us doing what we do, how we do. Don't let me forget gentlemen in the first hour. I have a question to ask you guys. Chris, don't forget on Saturday. Let me know Saturday when we start the show that I have a question to ask you guys.

Speaker: Your stupid prick, you're back on the hook. You're back on the hook. You gotta be careful, or you might have grapes and crepes in the future.

Speaker: it's like, you know, it won't be the first time. Probably won't be the last time. So, a normal Saturday, right? What is it? Monday or? Yeah, go figure. It is what it is. Now, we appreciate y 'all. I say, we appreciate y 'all hanging out. Thank you guys for the chatters box who was chit chatting it up with us. With that being said, and the words of the late, great,

Speaker: Big dog probably known as well probably known as a big doll now known as homeschool bank He's out a town down

Speaker: my man. Yeah, I keep saying my man's smoke even though he keeps trying to set me up. You're trying to set my white ass up. Motherfucker. One of these days, you're going to. Not today, Satan. One of these days, you're going to catch me on a drunken bender and I'm going to just jump in there. I got an opinion on it. I'm the only white guy here. Son of a bitch. You got me today, Satan. Smoke will tell you goofy some bitches. Put that in your

Speaker: And our man Connor, well, he would just ask for a roll of quarters and bend over and tell you to pull his finger. And if you don't know, well, shame on you. Jeffrey. What do you have to say to the people?

Speaker: I like deuces. I like deuces so much better. I know. I know. And we're going by deuces. Tony D. Give us your four hour monologue speech. Now, Tony D, let these motherfuckers know one time, baby, baby, baby.

Speaker: Think before you ask the best way to stay out of jail. Mother had you, mother made you, mother fuck you. Did you actually have to count that out? No, I just decided to let him out. You just let him count it out. You just let my man do what my man's got to do. It's the timing thing? Is it because I'm white and I don't have rhythm? I don't know. Yeah, that's exactly what it is. You're jealous. You didn't got rhythm. Yeah, 100 % I have zero rhythm. Yeah, don't even try to steal it either because that's cultural appropriation. Sure, why not?

Speaker: And with that being said, ladies and gentlemen, yeah, I'm on one tonight. Sorry, guys. I apologize. I'm in a mood with that being said, be good or be good at it.

Speaker: and if she's easy, take her twice. No, it's it's take her easy and if she's easy, take her twice. Look at her mom and see what you're wearing. Amen to that. Anyways, be good or be good at it.

Speaker: This is the song.