Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Supporting a Catholic Family and Establishing Catholic Culture in the Home and on the Homestead with Eric and Suzanne Sammons.
329 Plays1 year ago
On this episode we spoke with Eric and Suzan Sammons about raising children, developing strong Catholic families, and more.
Eric and Suzan Sammons are the parents of seven children. Suzan is the author of The Stations of the Cross in Slow Motion: A Daily Devotion for Lent which will be available through Sophia Institute Press in January of 2024) She is a homeschooling mother and editor of several Catholic publications and has published numerous articles in Catholic outlets on topics including child-rearing and education, the dignity of the unborn, holistic health, and Catholic spirituality.
Eric Sammons is the Editor-in-Chief of Crisis Magazine and the author of eight books, including Deadly Indifference: How the Church Lost Her Mission and How We Can Reclaim It. Together, they wrote The Jesse Tree: An Advent Devotion.
This episode reminds us of the importance of consciously striving to build a home that supports the flourishing of the Catholic faith, in the home, on the homestead, and everywhere. We are excited to bring you this episode as a production of Little Way Farm and Homestead and hope you find it as inspiring as we do.
Other Notes:
Crisis Magazine: https://crisismagazine.com/
Purchase the Jesse Tree: An Advent Devotion by Eric and Suzan Sammons at: https://sophiainstitute.com/product/the-jesse-tree/
More from Eric Sammons, including links to his books: https://ericsammons.com/
___
Check out more from Little Way Farm and Homestead, including information about the Farm and More at Littlewayhomestead.com.
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Little Way Farm and Catholic Homesteading
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome to the Little Way Farm and Homestead Podcast. Little Way Farm and Homestead is a regenerative and educational farm in southeastern Indiana. Motivated by the Catholic faith, we strive to inspire, encourage, and support the development of homesteads and small-scale farms in faith and virtue. I'm Matthew. And I'm Carissa. We're excited for you to join us on the podcast.
Raising Children in a Catholic Home
00:00:24
Speaker
On this episode, we spoke with Eric and Suzanne Sammons about raising children, developing strong Catholic families, and more.
00:00:31
Speaker
Eric and Suzanne Sammons are the parents of seven children. Suzanne is the author of The Stations of the Cross in Slow Motion, a daily devotion for Lent, which will be available through Sophia Institute Press in January of 2024. She is a homeschooling mother and editor of several Catholic publications and has published numerous articles in Catholic outlets on topics including child rearing and education, the dignity of the unborn, holistic health, and Catholic spirituality.
00:00:58
Speaker
Eric Sammons is the editor-in-chief of Crisis Magazine and the author of eight books, including Deadly Indifference, How the Church Lost Her Mission and How We Can Reclaim It. Together, they wrote The Jesse Tree and Advent Devotion.
Building a Catholic-Supportive Home Environment
00:01:12
Speaker
This episode reminds us of the importance of consciously striving to build a home that supports the flourishing of the Catholic faith in the home, on the homestead, and everywhere.
00:01:23
Speaker
We are excited to bring you this episode as a production of Little Way Farm and Homestead and hope you find it as inspiring as we do.
00:01:41
Speaker
So welcome Eric and Suzanne Sammons to the Little White Farm and Homestead Podcast. We are extremely excited for you all to join us. We've had the privilege of knowing you all for quite a few years. You all have been a very inspiring family to us. There's a few families that we look to for inspiration at times, especially those who seem to be more sturdy in the Catholic faith and who have seemingly developed an environment for their children to especially be raised in the Catholic faith in a way that's promising, encouraging, and inviting.
00:02:09
Speaker
and so we're very
The Role of Family in Faith Transmission
00:02:10
Speaker
excited to have you all here and we thank you forwardly simply for your friendship over the last few years as well as for your witness to the faith so welcome to the podcast thank you very much that's quite an intro boy now you're setting us up here very kind words and i have to say that younger couples might not think about it too much but we're very inspired to see
00:02:30
Speaker
what you all are doing and all of the great new energy, new ideas, new ways of doing things. Those things really help us too, so we appreciate you guys. Well, that's kind as well. Thank you. Well, today we're hoping to talk a little bit about the importance of building a very strong Catholic culture in the home.
00:02:51
Speaker
considering things like raising a Catholic family, the importance of witness of Catholic parents and husband and wife to one another in the family unit. And so I guess we would just go ahead and start out with a very pointed question for either of you. What is the role of the family today in the life of the Catholic Church? I think it's obviously crucial. That is the number one way the faith is passed on. I think a lot of times Catholics, we focus too much about stuff above us.
00:03:17
Speaker
what's going on with the Pope, what's going on with the Bishops, what's even going on with the priests or something like that, but really the faith is passed on kind of from the bottom up that you learn it from your parents and that's the domestic church as the church says. And so really it's family life is how the Catholic faith is. It's the primary way the Catholic faith is passed on.
00:03:40
Speaker
without strong family life, you're not going to have a strong church and your kids aren't going to have strong faith. So it really is essential.
Integrating Faith into Daily Life
00:03:47
Speaker
It's the foundational stone of the entire passing on of the faith.
00:03:51
Speaker
Yeah, it's something that we've recognized more and more as we've grown maybe just a little bit older. And now we have a few children in the household as well. And we start to see them especially mirror back to us. Sometimes the things we wish they wouldn't mirror back to us, which, you know, in some ways is very humbling. In fact, not just in some ways is incredibly humbling.
00:04:11
Speaker
And we are becoming more and more aware, not just of the importance of ourselves as witnesses to them and maintaining that teacher role for them of the faith, but also in ensuring that they understand that they're loved within the household and that we're working towards creating an environment where they are excited about the faith and not just being given or taught the semantics of the Catholic faith or the dogmas of the faith or the moral tradition of the faith.
00:04:41
Speaker
but also that next level that would really be almost another level within the spiritual life of prayer, of justice, of mercy. And so that idea of foundation is incredibly important. Unfortunately, you pass on everything and sometimes you kind of wish you didn't pass on certain aspects, but it
00:05:00
Speaker
does really open up your eyes to the responsibility you have of raising your kids in the faith and making sure that they understand it. It's like every single thing you do in the house, they're watching. And so obviously you're gonna fail and make mistakes, but that's why you have to be very intentional about trying to pass on the faith as well. And I think you're right that it's not simply doctrine that we're passing on. So when Eric and I grew up, Eric did not grow up Catholic, but when I grew up Catholic,
00:05:30
Speaker
we all complain, people of my generation complain, and you guys probably do too. We weren't taught the faith, even though I went to Catholic school, we really weren't taught the faith. And so we tend to really emphasize teaching the faith. We need to know our faith, but it is just as important to live the faith. And that happens in the home.
Homesteading and the Liturgical Year
00:05:52
Speaker
So we don't want to
00:05:54
Speaker
swing the pendulum the other way where we're so intent on teaching the faith. And I'm a huge believer in the Baltimore Catechism, but that's just that's just one aspect. So living the faith is essential, too. So along those lines, what do you think are the best ways to not only teach it, but to make it so that your family is embracing the Catholic faith in the home? I think that being very intentional
00:06:23
Speaker
and systematic about teaching the faith is the most important basis. So that should be something that's happening. Really part of your home school, that's a daily thing. And I think something like the Baltimore Catechism is an essential resource to help you walk through the faith.
00:06:45
Speaker
And then as an outcropping of that or an outgrowth of that, you are naturally, your own eyes as a parent are open to the beauty of the faith.
00:06:56
Speaker
So my kids will tell you there's certain parts of Baltimore Catechism number two that make me cry. And it's this simple text that's written for kids in what, third, fourth, fifth, sixth grade. But the direct teaching about who God is is so beautiful. I'll say, oh, this is my favorite number. Number 72 is one of my favorite questions in the Baltimore Catechism. I'll get like so emotional.
00:07:25
Speaker
But so there doesn't need to be a dichotomy really necessarily between teaching and living because in that moment I'm sharing the beauty of the lived Catholic faith with my kids. So that's one piece of it. And then the other thing is those things that come naturally, and I love how homesteading fits into this,
00:07:46
Speaker
seasonal living, the liturgical year, that just blends in beautifully with the seasons of the year as we go through and watch nature do what it does, really the same things happening in the church year, the same things happening in our hearts. And so we can very naturally live that out.
00:08:04
Speaker
That's one thing that has been most impressed on I think both of our hearts and our minds this last year as we kind of settled more into the homestead and the farm here and we were really paying attention to the seasons, partly because the way that we've chosen to live the homestead lifestyle is a little bit more on the dependency side of nature. And so we're very mindful of that.
Being Present in Family Life vs. Planning
00:08:27
Speaker
And we have to for harvest and planting as well. But it has become incredibly important to us that just being mindful of the seasons as they change and also recognizing the difference in beauty that's available at different times. Often, I think Chris, I may have mentioned this on a prior episode.
00:08:44
Speaker
that winter was typically not something where we would really consider beauty and we would be more so aware of maybe the lack of life occurring. And now we can recognize a little bit more the respite that we have as well as some of the seasonal aspects of winter that allow for the harvest later in the year.
00:09:02
Speaker
As an example for some plants in order to really come to fruition, they need to go through a thaw or a freeze in a thaw cycle. And so now we get to experience and understand that and there's so many easy ways of explaining the faith, especially to children with those mirrors of nature.
00:09:18
Speaker
and analogies from nature as well. But it also makes me think and it makes me relatively emotional to think that sometimes the seasons passes by so quickly. For some reason, autumn always seems to be that one that people anticipate so much and they're so excited for all the cultural elements that come into autumn. And then by the time you are prepared to experience autumn or recognize autumn, it's basically gone and it's wintertime now.
00:09:43
Speaker
And similarly, we're recognizing now as our children grow up that we are often missing just being present to them and experiencing them and seeing the minute growth that they go through because we're so focused on getting them to that next event or getting to that next experience or that next birthday or catechism class next week or whatever it may be.
00:10:07
Speaker
And so I guess that brings me to a thought, which is in that home, what advice or recommendation would you all give to developing an attitude or a culture of being present to one another, either as husband and wife or parents to children, or even cultivating an experience where children are present to one another in the household?
Balancing Family Time with Activities
00:10:26
Speaker
Yeah, I think that's it. You're absolutely right. And I honestly consider that a struggle at times because I'm one who does look to the next thing. Like, okay, we got to get ready for this. We got to do this. We got to do this. And you got to tell yourself to slow down. And I think a lot of it, I do think getting more
00:10:48
Speaker
kind of in tune with nature is a great way to do it because, for example, when it's time to plant everything, the kids will go down and help out mom with that part. And so now you're involved in this together. And then throughout the year, of course, there's always something like that. And so I think being involved in these natural rhythms of life, so to speak, I think really helped because
00:11:16
Speaker
When you're planning, you're like, okay, we got a plant now. You're not thinking, okay, about harvesting or something like that. You're not thinking about the future. What's the next thing to do? Like, okay, let's just get down there and plant. And I think that kind of slows you down some. I also think just trying to, and Susanna kind of mentioned a little bit, was kind of living liturgically that you're not
00:11:39
Speaker
whatever season it's in, if you're an Advent, you really embrace Advent, for example, and you really have Advent be the whole feel of your house during that time. So you're putting up different Advent decorations and activities and you're going through the calendar each day and things like that. But I think what that does is you're focused now only on Advent. And that also, Advent's actually a good example because you're trying to
00:12:05
Speaker
slow down a little bit the anticipation of Christmas for the kids because that can be their sole focus. But I think just doing things like that where you're really living in the liturgical season, you're living in the natural season, whatever it is, can help slow those things down. You're not always thinking of, okay, what's the next thing? What's the next thing coming up? I think especially that's true when you think of, I know this has happened to me. There's a feast day of a great saint coming up and you're kind of looking forward to it.
00:12:33
Speaker
Oh, that's wonderful. You know, it's going to be St. Teresa of Avila.
00:12:38
Speaker
And then suddenly it's gone. It happens so fast and it was a busy day and did we really recognize her? So I think it requires some planning. One of the things I do as I look at the calendar before I start my school year and sometimes before the month begins or even before the week begins, what saints do I really want to call out this year because I'm not going to be able to do all of them? And I make sure that I have a note the day before or the week before, whatever it would take.
00:13:08
Speaker
get flowers for this day, make a poster for this day, read the kids, the Saint's story the day before or the morning of. And so I try not to just let those one day things just happen and fly by. I plan it just like if you're homeschooling, you have to plan your math for the year. I plan the liturgical year in the same way. Otherwise things do fly by. But another thing I would say to answer your question is,
00:13:36
Speaker
We really have to look at our family and how our family spends time and figure out what's dividing us and what's bringing us together. So my opinion is that one of the most divisive things for families in America today is sports. And we've been involved in sports with our kids over the years.
00:14:00
Speaker
And since our oldest is 26 and our youngest is eight, we're still in the middle of it in one sense, but we've had a lot of time to look back and wish we'd done certain things differently. And I look around at friends in different circles as well and see how sports affects the family. And
Recreation and Family Bonding
00:14:18
Speaker
I would just caution families that it's just so easy to get caught up in sports and let it divide your family.
00:14:26
Speaker
I don't know if that needs any other explanation. You probably know what I'm talking about. I think it's funny you said that because I was thinking that actually before she said that is that sports, I do think youth sports end up in most cases probably being a net negative for families. And we're people who've done youth sports in our family. So we've done that. My son was very involved in sports probably the most. It ends up, you're running around a lot because it always ends up being more than you think it is and you're running around and
00:14:52
Speaker
And ultimately what happens is it's dividing the family because you can't do it as a whole family. Because one kid has this sport, another kid has that sport, you're dividing and conquering it. Okay, dad will take this one to this one and molotape this one to that one. And it's not to say there's no benefits to youth sports because we did see benefits for some of our kids for youth sports, but... There are generally benefits you could get somewhere else. Right. That's probably the best way to put it. So you want to look for, okay, what else do we spend time on? And is that thing something that brings us together?
00:15:22
Speaker
Again, homesteading, I think lends itself naturally. Sometimes you need all hands on deck, right? Or even if it's the older child watching the baby, whatever. It's still, everybody is doing something to help this thing get accomplished.
00:15:37
Speaker
Well, and I think that's a discussion that I think we've had as well when it comes to organized sports and the activities that our family would be interested in pursuing. And I think it's an important cautionary tale for many people, especially because many people feel that strain. I say many people, I think many people feel that strain maybe inherently towards community. And oftentimes it becomes community that's driven away from the home.
00:16:05
Speaker
when there's a lot of opportunity within the home to create more of a family society and what that looks like and what the recreation looks like and what the, you know, the bylaws or the prayer structure or what the entertainment looks like for the family. So maybe that's a good follow up question to then maybe it's a younger family or a family who's just looking around and says, how do we bring our family together and strengthen our family's activity and our communal bonds here?
00:16:32
Speaker
What would you advise them? What type of recreation would be good to bring the family together? Or what type of liturgical lifestyle within the home would be a good recommendation for a family who's looking to create those bonds at home?
00:16:45
Speaker
I think that's a really good question because you cannot simply look at a family that you think is great and you admire and then copy everything they
Developing a Unique Family Culture
00:16:55
Speaker
do. Because if that family loves hiking and camping, and so that's really their aim is to get things done at home so they can go for a hike.
00:17:05
Speaker
and they love camping every other weekend, and you don't like those things, then that's not going to work for you. But you can still see what is it about that that benefits their family and it's that they're together. So you do want to sort of establish your own family. Careism is probably not the right word because you're not a religious order. But
00:17:25
Speaker
your own family dynamic where these are our things. We don't like camping, but we love board games. And so that's one of your things. But you're looking for things where the family is together and that doesn't separate you. Now, do adults need time with adults and kids need time with kids? Yes. But so you're also looking for things where families are welcome. And what happens when 10 Catholic families come together
00:17:54
Speaker
Usually the dads end up talking the moms end up talking the kids are playing right so they each group there
00:18:02
Speaker
is getting its own maybe needs met for that kind of men with men, women with women time. But also you'll see a dad talking to the kids of his friend and the mom talking to her husband's friends, the other dads. And so there's interaction as well, but it's a very natural way of developing relationships and developing virtues and skills.
00:18:30
Speaker
Yeah, no, I think that's a good way to put it. I think the key is to try to find what works for your family, what are your interests. I think that the key point there is you're not trying to imitate, slavishly imitate other families that you see doing things right, but you're trying to do the things that really work for you. And I think it should go without saying, but I'll say it anyway, is the foundation should be
00:18:56
Speaker
your parish for outside activities. That should be the kind of foundation that you're going to mass together on Sundays, obviously, and if you can, other times of the week, you're involved in the activities of the parish.
00:19:08
Speaker
That really should be, you know, because obviously the family's foundational, so home is first. Then the second kind of level should be the parish. And then you have the third level, which would be the activities that your family finds enjoyable and maybe your friends, they find enjoyable is all you do together. So it might be hiking and camping. It might be something else. It might be astronomy or something like that, whatever the case might be, something that brings you together. I think that that's the third layer.
00:19:38
Speaker
kind of beyond the home and in the parish. That's true. And that's one of our problems with sports is that it really generally doesn't allow you to put the parish where it should be in that hierarchy.
00:19:52
Speaker
Yeah, I think that's interesting. We talk obviously a lot about homesteading and farming and we've recently been discussing about how people like to look to experts, so to speak, in the field and just copy what they do because they are clearly successful in the way that they're doing it.
00:20:13
Speaker
But then as we get into it and start trying to do it the way somebody else has done it, a lot of times we find that it doesn't always work perfectly for us because we have so many different dynamics within our household, within our family needs, the way that our land
Supporting Children's Vocational Discernment
00:20:29
Speaker
works. And I think it's so interesting that it's the same way when you're building a family culture
00:20:34
Speaker
you can take inspiration from other families that you see that have gone ahead of you and seem to have built a successful structure and a good, strong Catholic culture in their home. But really understanding ourselves and our own families and the call that God has for each of us is so important in being able to pick out those specific ways to build that culture in our own families. It's honestly just like potty training.
00:21:03
Speaker
Nobody else can really tell you how to potty train your kids because when you try and do what they did for some reason, it won't work for you because you're a different person and your kid's a different kid. So you just have to figure out. Yes, I totally relate to just like potty training. That's so funny though, because sometimes you'll be like, oh, just do this and they'll be potty trained. And I'm like, that didn't work. It didn't work. We tried it.
00:21:29
Speaker
They ate all the M&Ms. We got stores. We want to go down that path, but yeah. We can play everything. It doesn't work. And then we'll probably try those things and they'll all work. Exactly. That's right.
00:21:45
Speaker
Well, here's another thought, maybe something to consider too. There, you know, we notice sometimes that people will come into the faith with just incredible zeal and the passion is palpable and it's full of integrity and it's beautiful. And sometimes we find that that passion can be maybe it might not filter out the way that is most conducive in the home.
00:22:11
Speaker
And one way that I guess I mean that is we look at our children as they get older and they begin to ask more questions and exhibit more autonomy. I have this underlying passion and hope and interest in them pursuing vocations or religious vocations.
00:22:26
Speaker
And then I step back and think, well, you know, I want to make sure that they're not misconstruing, you know, my interest in them expressing interest in, you know, maybe religious life or the pre or the ordained priesthood and think that I'm telling them that's what they have to do versus an encouragement of those paths, if that's something that they would choose to or feel called to do.
00:22:48
Speaker
You know, I'm interested in you all's opinion or recommendations. How do you support an environment where children are encouraged to consider what vocation it is that God's calling them to without forcing them or pushing them into a particular direction? Yeah, that's a good that's a very good question. I think
00:23:07
Speaker
I think first of all, obviously, if you're living out your vocation of matrimony to the best of your ability, that will hopefully be the witness they need towards matrimony, that they'll see, okay, this is a vocation that obviously this family supports because my mom and dad are living it out as best they can. So I think that happens hopefully a lot, mostly by osmosis.
00:23:31
Speaker
I do think, though, you have to be explicit because of the fact that we live in a world where those aren't really options on the table anywhere else, like nobody else outside of your own family usually is really supporting that, because oftentimes even extended family isn't supporting that.
00:23:52
Speaker
And so I think the key there is that you need to be explicit of saying these are options, that becoming a priest, a religious, whatever the case may be, are things. And so you make sure they see those options in practice. So for example, most people don't have
00:24:14
Speaker
the privilege of being around religious sisters. They're just too rare. They're not in most parishes. So most people don't actually, they literally grow up and they never see a woman in a habit. I mean, other than maybe on a television show or something like that. And so finding opportunities to visit, for example,
00:24:36
Speaker
Let's say you have girls, and as they get older, especially, visit a convent so they can see that in practice, exactly what that looks like, and it doesn't seem so alien to them. Obviously, the boys are going to see the priest at their parish, but maybe you can see other types of priests, religious priests or diocesan priests, whatever the case may be. So I think exposure to that's a good thing.
00:25:03
Speaker
I mean, I know there's the concern about if you overdo it, you don't want them to think, oh, dad just wants me to do this.
00:25:13
Speaker
I doubt that's going to happen too often, to be honest these days, because every sign is that it is against those vocations. And if dad's just saying like, listen, this is something that we really admire priest. And we, we, we think Kyla it's a, it's a very important vocation. And if God calls that, you should, you should listen. I don't think that's going to cross any lines of, okay, I'm just doing this because dad wants me to at least hopefully it won't.
00:25:41
Speaker
I think another
Growing Closer Through Challenges
00:25:42
Speaker
thing I know Eric always taught our kids when we talked about vocations, he always said, don't be afraid that you might have a vocation. You see that in, I think, particularly boys of a certain age, but girls too, where they almost start to think, oh no, what if I have to be a sister? And you don't want them to approach it from that, of course.
00:26:11
Speaker
And Eric always told our kids what God calls you to, what the vocation God calls you to is the one where you will be happy.
00:26:21
Speaker
You don't have to fear, God might call me to be a priest, but I don't want to. That just doesn't happen. So just in those different ways, letting your kids know that God calls you to your vocation. Dad doesn't call you. Mom doesn't call you. Dad and Mom aren't really rooting for you to have a certain vocation. They're rooting for you to listen to God.
00:26:44
Speaker
and it's all in his hands. But certainly, the church teaches that the priesthood, religious life are a higher calling for a reason. And we do want to give the truth to our kids about that. That's interesting that you said that. I didn't grow up Catholic either, but I did have a conversation similar with my mom growing up. And I had this fear at one point, probably in my early teens,
00:27:10
Speaker
where I was afraid that God was going to call me to foreign missions. And I wanted to be a mom and have a family. And I had grown up around plenty of people who did missions with families. But for some reason, at that season of my life,
00:27:28
Speaker
didn't seem like something I was ready to commit to, but I had this fear that that's what God was going to ask of me. My mom gave similar advice, although I wasn't pursuing or considering religious life or religious vocation in the Catholic world. But she told me that God
00:27:49
Speaker
will place desires on our hearts and that we can seek to seek His will, basically. And that's something that I've brought up with the kids already, is that I say just pray that God will align your desires with His and you'll desire what it is that He's calling you to. And so I think that's really great advice.
00:28:09
Speaker
Yeah, that's awesome. I appreciate you all sharing that, especially that comment about, you know, mom and dad, they don't call you to the vocation. God calls you to the vocation. I think that's incredibly inspiring to hear that. That's a great phrase and probably going to use that. Definitely going to use that. In fact, I'm probably going to, maybe we'll like wrap it up. I've already trademarked that to Suzanne, so you're too late.
00:28:31
Speaker
That was really good. Thank you for sharing that. That was neat. One other thing that we're interested in is the idea of how the family grows closer to one another and that communal bond becomes more strengthened, especially in times that are not as comfortable or are challenging.
00:28:49
Speaker
for any milieu of reasons, death in the family, tragedy in the family, financial distress, any reason really, and those pressures that come into the family as a result of how
Faith Practices in All Times
00:29:01
Speaker
do you find that the family either becomes stronger maybe through those experiences or can best be prepared for those nearly inevitable challenges in life that seem to creep up for all of us?
00:29:13
Speaker
That's a tough one. I think back to when our family lost babies. We lost three babies, three pregnancies in a row in the middle of the pregnancy in the second trimester. We had four older kids at the time and it was a really hard time for us. And I think that the key is openness within the family about what you're feeling, what you're going through.
00:29:42
Speaker
and the struggle you're having. So I remember that we didn't hide our tears from our kids. We encouraged them to ask questions. We tried to anticipate what they might be feeling. Kids can't always verbalize doubts.
00:30:01
Speaker
and questions, and they're not even sure, is this feeling I'm having okay? So this is suffering, right? And as adults, we don't always have the answers on suffering. Why do we have to suffer? So let alone for a kid, did God take our baby?
00:30:17
Speaker
You know, that's tough. And I remember Eric saying that God was with us in our suffering. And so that was the message we wanted to deliver to them, that he's with us in our suffering. And he lost his son too. That's what Eric said to our kids. So you really do have to think about the message you want to give your kids. You can't give them a 30 minute homily. So again, in some ways it comes down to living the faith.
00:30:47
Speaker
So this tragedy happens and we come together. We pray together. We hug together. We cry together. We bury the baby together. We go to mass together. We don't stop praying because a bad thing happened. All these things really stick with your kids. You might think, well, of course we keep going to mass.
00:31:06
Speaker
That's something that they'll remember, all those things. And even going through those tough times, I remember my oldest at the time that this three year desert started, my oldest was about eight. And when she was 16, we went to the cemetery to visit the little graves and we had moved away. And so we were coming back after a time.
00:31:31
Speaker
And I said, you know what? I don't think I was a very good mother during these years because I was suffering. And I don't know. I felt like I didn't have any resources. So I'm sorry. And she was really upset that I said that. She refused. It's actually my two oldest and both of them said, no, no, no, no. So we don't, we, we might feel like we're not doing enough or we're not doing it right. Or we can't handle things because we're suffering.
00:31:57
Speaker
But that's not necessarily what our kids are seeing if we're just keeping the faith and just taking the next step. Yeah, there's a great story, one of our favorite saints, St. Josemaria Escriba.
00:32:08
Speaker
He had an experience. He was the oldest child. And then he had three sisters who died in succession. He was about eight and they were like six, four and two or something. And they died within a, I think it's like within a year of each other. And then his father, business went bankrupt. And so they had to move and they had no money.
00:32:30
Speaker
And it always stuck with him how his parents just kept, they never blamed God. They never, they just kept living their faith. And they didn't, it didn't, of course it fazed them. I don't want to act like they were robots or something. But the point is they just kept going on. It did not, they did not change their practice of faith. And San Jose Maria often said later that that was a huge impact on him because he saw
00:32:57
Speaker
That they, they, they follow God in the good times. Cause before that his dad was actually a pretty successful businessman. The family was growing and then all of a sudden all this happens and they followed him the same way when the tough times happen. And obviously it's not, it sounds very simple, but it's hard to do in practice. Obviously don't want to diminish that. But the point is I do think though, just sticking to.
00:33:22
Speaker
I mean, in one way, kind of sticking to the routines of life when these things happen. Not that you're trying to ignore what's going on, but the point is, is that you're, like she said, you're still going to mass, you're still doing all those foundational things. You don't stop that, I think helps them to have that anchor that they need so they understand, okay, this is kind of how we live through suffering and how we live through difficulties.
00:33:48
Speaker
I appreciate you all sharing all that. I think something that a lot of people come to in the parallel in the homesteading lifestyle is that there's a lot of work that goes into it, a lot of financial investment for people, a lot of time investment.
00:34:04
Speaker
And often they'll find that they either become burnt out very quickly or that things didn't come to fruition the way they thought or that everything is just going wrong all the time. And then there are the real tragedies that also occur where it's not that a plant didn't make it or a cow got out or something happened on the farm.
00:34:28
Speaker
but that there's actual devastation that comes into the family. And you obviously mentioned an incredibly difficult situation, multiples of them. And it calls me to really ponder how prepared our family is for such an experience if we should encounter such, but also simply what does it look like to continue on and persevere in the faith during times
00:34:54
Speaker
of distress and I think you all called it out. It's really interesting that you would even mention to just going to mass on Sunday because obviously there's an obligation there but also because it would almost seem to call out that devastation that comes to the family or tragedy like that would
00:35:15
Speaker
maybe for a child especially, they might consider, well, you know, everything stops now. And that's all we can do is pay attention to, you know, this experience or the event. What I hear you all saying is that, you know, one of the things, if I can paraphrase this, one of the things that makes it powerful in continuing to build out that family culture around the faith is that the faith continues on and the faith supports you through those experiences.
00:35:44
Speaker
Yeah, that's right and that is the key is you bring everything back to the faith because that is the lifeblood, so to speak, of everything. I think it's true also when good times happen too. Let's say you have some financial success, business success, something like that. I think at the same time,
00:36:05
Speaker
you don't want to change that routine either, the routines of the faith and everything that you're thanking God in the good times and in the bad, because obviously in modern society, a lot of times we have a little too much abundance in a lot of ways. And I think that's another time though where you can start to slip away from the faith.
Guidance for Young Couples Entering Marriage
00:36:27
Speaker
In fact, I think that's kind of the story of modern life is that all the
00:36:31
Speaker
material abundance we have has led us to forget God. And so you live the same way if all of a sudden you come into a lot of money or something like that, your business does whatever, and you keep kind of living the same way you were living beforehand. I think that's the key. And so it's not just in the tragedies, but also in when very good things happen as well.
00:36:55
Speaker
Well, that opens up an interesting question as well. And maybe something you all could provide some insight into is maybe not when times are particularly high or particularly low, but for the young couple who's considering or maybe has just begun a vocation of marriage. So maybe they've just become married and they look around at the world and all they see is tragedy and all they see is uncertainty and people around them who maybe don't express hope.
00:37:24
Speaker
that bringing children into the world is a good idea or that getting married young is a good idea or any of these things that oftentimes young people are faced with when considering not just the vocation of marriage but actually fulfilling the duties of the vocation of marriage. What if any thoughts do you have there on, you know, what would either be good first steps for a young couple to make when entering into the vocation of marriage, especially as they consider the possibility and the expectation
00:37:53
Speaker
of bringing children into the family. That's a difficult one because I think what you might be touching on is sort of the fragility we see in a lot of young adults today. And I guess stepping back before answering your question, I would say that's something in our families
00:38:17
Speaker
We want to build strong, stable children. We don't want to encourage this sort of emotional way of living. So it's just something to keep in mind as we raise our kids. We don't want to end up with fearful people that
00:38:42
Speaker
that, as you said, look around the world, see the bad things happening and are overwhelmed. We want them to look around the world, see the bad things happening and make sense of it in terms of what they know about God and what He has done for us and how the protection that we have and the ultimate victory He has. So that's one thing. I think advice for young couples would be that are sort of
00:39:10
Speaker
feeling that trepidation would be to learn about what marriage is because just because you've gone through pre-cana and gotten married might not mean you know what marriage is. And I think once you know what marriage is,
00:39:25
Speaker
It's marching orders. I would say, and this is something for people who know me will think this is kind of maybe a shocking advice I'm giving. And that is don't think so much. Don't think ahead so much. Don't worry so much. I'm a control freak. I want everything planned out. I want to have the next 30 years every day practically planned out would be my dream.
00:39:54
Speaker
But that's a real unhealthy way to live. And what I'm trying to get to with young couples getting married is there's
Homesteading to Strengthen Family and Faith
00:40:02
Speaker
a million and one reasons not to have kids and everyone of them is stupid. And so, like, don't listen to it. Just don't listen to all the world that tells you all these things, but just live as Catholics have always lived, which is you get married,
00:40:20
Speaker
You have kids, you raise your kids, and then you die. And really, it comes down to that. Well, you do, don't you? I mean, you do die at some point. But the point is, is like,
00:40:34
Speaker
We try to make this a little bit too complex, I think, in the sense of, okay, here's where it came in my life. We start having kids. I'm literally thinking out how I can afford a college education when they're under five, and I have like three, six and under, four kids, ages six and under. I'm freaking out because like, okay, how am I ever gonna help with their college education? Pave that.
00:40:55
Speaker
And I had a spiritual director at the time, and I remember bringing this up to him. And he basically was just, I mean, he was a very gentle guy who, priest, and he was never harsh and like that, but he really was kind of like, you're just being stupid, Eric. I mean, it was like, you really, that's not your responsibility. Your responsibility isn't to pay for their college. Your responsibility is to raise them as Catholics, and that's it. Don't get so stressed out about something like that.
00:41:20
Speaker
And that's kind of what I mean about all these things we can tell ourselves when we first get married, when we look ahead of all this stuff of like, oh, I got to do this, all these responsibilities, just live today. You know, when you have kids, you know, be thankful for it, raise them and don't try to have it all planned out. And yes, then eventually you will die. Yeah. I mean, when you look and read scripture,
00:41:47
Speaker
People are always blessed with children and people are always blessed for having children. There is never a, oh, you had another child, now you are going to get this punishment. That never happens in the Bible. So yeah, I do think we're overthinking it for sure.
00:42:06
Speaker
That's a really great insight. Thank you guys so much for sharing all of your wisdom and insight on building Catholic culture in the home. Before we wrap up, I would like to hear just a little bit of how homesteading in your family has added to Catholic culture and to just building a strong family culture in your home. I wouldn't say that we're actually homesteaders. I don't feel we qualify.
00:42:34
Speaker
Well, I will say one of, I have a memory of seeing, I believe this was at you all's place. It was years ago. I do remember seeing just, I don't know the number, but a lot of not a red solo cups, but like little, I think it was blue cups, maybe full, maybe it was a red solo cups full of plant seedlings. And this was well, but we were maybe on the journey.
00:42:59
Speaker
of towards home setting. And if I can remember back even somewhat of what I really thought, I probably thought something like, whoa, that's a lot of plants. I do. I do love starting seeds. Well, let's start there first before maybe even before the question. What is the what is the gardening situation look like for you all right now?
00:43:20
Speaker
So, you know, year by year, we try and add more and more. And I don't know, we've maybe been doing this for four years or something. We just try to take a step every year. So, what I try to focus on in the garden is growing things I can preserve and things I can use medicinally.
00:43:39
Speaker
So we have lots and lots of herbs every year that I dehydrate or make tinctures with. And then we have lots of beans, lots of tomatoes because they're easy to preserve and we like to eat them. And then I have the kids. One child is in charge of growing potatoes. Another one is in charge of growing carrots because I want them to do something from start to finish.
00:44:01
Speaker
So instead of all of us working on all the crops, I like to give them a specific assignment. I've got another radish person now. So yeah, it's pretty simple. We have quail for eggs and a little bit for meat, but those are only animals right now besides the cats that work on the mice.
00:44:25
Speaker
I do think though it ties into our Catholic faith very well because it is, I mean, I grew up in the suburbs, no experience whatsoever in any of this stuff.
00:44:37
Speaker
And I do think you can get a bit separated from nature, which is ultimately separated from God by a very aniseptic lifestyle where everything you get is from the grocery store. You have no real connection to the seasons or anything like that because you're always in your climate controlled inside or something like that. So I do think though.
00:45:00
Speaker
all of that ties together with Catholicism because Catholicism obviously very incarnational. It's very much part of the physical is not a bad thing for us, you know, for Catholics. And so I feel like it has helped. Suzanne's really the one driving all the garden and all that. And I think I love seeing the kids out there planning things and getting involved with that.
Shared Family Projects and Cultural Identity
00:45:25
Speaker
I think it's just a very, I do, I take it as
00:45:29
Speaker
a spiritual experience, not like I'm some hippie, but just in the sense of being connected to the ground, to the land, I do think does help them connect to God in a certain way that I think is very healthy. I think to do anything large scale, which of course we always want it bigger every year. You need everybody helping out, and I know a lot of
00:45:54
Speaker
moms that have started a garden and given up and they just they say they don't have time because they have to take care of their kids. And the great thing about homesteading is that it usually is a family fair that that there's no kids keep yourselves busy while I go plant the garden because everybody's helping. And so it becomes one of those things like we were talking about before, that the family focuses on together the family, even, you know, whether you really enjoy it, or you're just out there to get the job done.
00:46:24
Speaker
You're still doing it together. Funny things always happen. You look back on them. You make mistakes together and you learn new things together. So I think all of those things are important for family culture.
00:46:35
Speaker
Well, I would say too, I agree with everything that you all said as far as it being important, not only to be together as a family, but that they're, you know, the conversation around the importance of nature and how the homesteading lifestyle can effectively help bring people together as well. I do think it's kind of funny that you would even doubt your homesteading preparedness and yet you are raising quail.
00:47:00
Speaker
because quail is certainly a step in the homesteading realm. I would suggest that many people don't even know what quail are. It's not familiar to most people. That might be. We do get some looks sometimes. That's wonderful.
00:47:18
Speaker
Well, I very much appreciate you all being here. Carissa does as well. And we're very thankful that you all have taken time out of your day to talk with us and be a part of the Little Way Farm and Homestead podcast. We thank you very much for that and for all the comments and
00:47:33
Speaker
the advice, the recommendations, the insights into your family, as well as sharing what might be helpful to other families, either those who are fully established already and looking for ways to further support the development of the Catholic faith and Catholic culture within their families and also maybe those who are just starting out. So we very much appreciate you both for joining us on the podcast and we thank you immensely for the wisdom that you've been willing to share with us today.
00:47:58
Speaker
Thank you, Matt. You're very kind. It was a blast. Thank you for having us. Yeah, definitely. Thank you. It was great. Thank you for joining us on another episode of the Little Way Farm and Homestead Podcast. Check out the show notes for more information about this episode and be sure to tune in next week.