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Episode 224: 2nd TASTE OF #224: “WAAAHHH! I Want My Bwue Checkmark!” image

Episode 224: 2nd TASTE OF #224: “WAAAHHH! I Want My Bwue Checkmark!”

S5 E224 · AMATEUR NATION with Lou Santini
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56 Plays3 years ago

*THIS WEEK:* 

  • Nicolas Cage wants you to eat bugs! Just like all the Hollywood elite do!
  • EVs: Fail. Again.
  • Would someone pwease give entertainer, Butte Mudler, her bwue checkmark so she has purpose again?

*On “A la Carte”:* Kamala “SlingBlade” Harris is back! Now with more incessant rambling than ever!, President Coloring Book does China another solid, and a heads up on an upcoming sexy holiday!
*On “3 Pro Things”:
Karma comes for an amateur, a senator calls out China and the New World Order, and a parody song comparing the real president to President Coloring Book that you gotta hear.

*DRYBAR COMEDY SPECIAL: “Amateur Nation*”: https://www.drybarcomedy.com/lous*
*MAIN: https://www.lousantini.com/*
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Transcript

Nicholas Cage and the Cockroach Incident

00:00:00
Speaker
Nicholas Cage recalled eating a live cockroach while filming his 1988 cult movie Vampire's Kiss and discussed how eating insects could solve world starvation.

Nutritional Value of Insects

00:00:10
Speaker
High protein, no fat, excellent nutrients, abundance, they're everywhere.
00:00:15
Speaker
And how many pounds of bugs will I have to gag down to equal what's found

Insects as Meat Alternatives

00:00:19
Speaker
in salmon?
00:00:19
Speaker
chicken, lean beef, perhaps, Bill, I didn't get nearly the wedgies I deserved as a child Gates could invent a bug-based food pill we could all take.
00:00:28
Speaker
Or better yet, a bug-based vaccine injected into our bodies.
00:00:32
Speaker
No, wait!
00:00:32
Speaker
A bug-based microchip that releases artificial bug-based proteins into our circulatory systems.

Humorous Bug-based Products

00:00:40
Speaker
Bees for breakfast, locusts for lunch, and dung beetles for dinner.
00:00:43
Speaker
I have never needed a beer so bad in my entire life.
00:00:47
Speaker
Eh, just don't make it a bug light.
00:00:49
Speaker
Wait, wait!
00:00:50
Speaker
I got it!
00:00:51
Speaker
Bug light.
00:00:53
Speaker
Bug-based beer.
00:00:54
Speaker
Now with half the tentacles.