Transcript
Speaker: Do you know what it's like when you wanna go cry? But you can't let out all the feelings inside So you lay in your bed under blankets and hide Do you let people know that you feel like just finding your pillow? Get stained with the tears that you cried And you're praying nobody comes in and that's why And the redness is already taking your rise I wish you could hide it but there's no disguise in it Cry, let it all out If I had to be completely honest with myself I'm tired
Speaker: I'm tired. It's not a physical tired. It's a very, you know, it's in the soul. It's like I'm fucking tired. I'm tired of going through this shit. I'm tired of, tired of everything not working out. And I'm just like, I fucking tried. And it's a, I can't not lie and say it's not a, it's not like you don't want to live kind of thing. It's more of a, if God were sitting across from me right now.
Speaker: there would be a part of me that would just want to go up to him and say, listen, I'm done. I'm done. I'm not. I can't do this anymore. I'm just, I'm fucking physically and mentally spent and I'm done. And it's a, it's a silent battle too. Um, and it's a, it's a battle kind of hide from the world and from the people we love and the people we want to love or want to love us because
Speaker: Who wants a broken person? You know, it's like, if they knew, like if the people in your life knew how broken we were, like, would they stay? And then that raises the question of like, how do I fix this? Can you fix this? I don't know. I can't hide myself
Speaker: I don't expect you to understand I just hope I can't explain What it's like to be a man It's a lonely room And they don't care about what you know It's not about how you feel But what you provide inside that home
Speaker: You can't always live up to expectations you try to Please everybody while you struggle so you fake it And end up out of balance compromising situations as a good man
Speaker: everything he could man you might find yourself feeling all alone inside a house you built that you don't recognize as home and that's what my daddy told me and i'll tell my son the same now that i'm older i relate and i actually feel his pain he never cried he might have lied but he did not complain and he said son one day you have
Speaker: Can I look around? Beyond the county lines of my small town I think about all the men out there who feel like I do now Who are screaming on the inside but won't ever make a sound
Speaker: Keep fighting, as a man our sun is all horizon And our fathers actions play a role then we end up like em So they can't let us see them hurt, cause we'll embody what they do And start a generational curse, no wonder most women are so depressed All the things that they can't express They go to war, get thrown on the shelf, go back to war with them
Speaker: mental health then grab that bottle and ask for help try to pull themselves out of hell then fall back down and then realize that they don't have to do it themselves it's the circle of life as a man you provide they don't know what you were till today that you're dying that's when they start crying then move on to imagine confiding
Speaker: It's not about how we feel, it's about what we provide inside that hole, inside that hole. What's going on everybody? Happy Monday, happy eclipse day.
Speaker: That's Dax with To Be A Man. You know, we started out every Monday with that song. Welcome to Men Caron for Men. I'm Glick. We got Jera Vichy in the building as always. Connor will be joining us momentarily. We do have two guests with us, two special guests with us tonight. They're going to hang out. We're going to chitchat with them and just talk about life and things and, you know, dive into their heads a little bit and get them to, you know, we're going to
Speaker: Listen to their stories and stuff like that. Man, I'm ready to bring my tissues for my issues. Yeah. I forgot. I got you covered, bro. Yeah. The journey of healing, if you will. But that's, uh, we got, we got my guy blazing in the building and K mag, the one and only K mag hanging out with us. You guys know K mag and you guys are getting to know blazing as well. He's been hanging out with us on Saturday nights. If you guys aren't already, go ahead and check out the socials.
Speaker: Facebook, Instagram, X and tick tock. We do do this show live every Monday, 7 PM ish on YouTube, Facebook, and Twitch. And you can listen wherever you listen to podcasts at all at nonsensical nonsense. It's all part of the network. Uh, you can also head on over to bio .link slash nonsensical nonsense right down at the bottom of your screen. We're going to have all those links for all the social medias. Um, excuse me.
Speaker: including links to our sponsors, liquid IV, hydration destination, W energy, your energy drink with no crash, no jitters, crazy all in one place for all your podcasting needs. Don't forget to check. I choose our promo code words are hard. You're going to save money and get discounts and all that jazz courtesy of these guys over here at the network, over at the nonsensical network. It's like the NNN man. I feel like I'm going to make a logo that just says NNN.
Speaker: I feel important. Be careful. You get canceled for that. You're a couple of letters away from the other one. No. Um, but as I said, we do have, we do have K mag and blazing joining us tonight, hanging out with us. Uh, I want to start the show like I always do. Uh, first and foremost, uh, I want to ask the guys do a little round table and ask the guys how they're doing. We'll start with our guests. K mag. How's everything going, man? How was your, how was your weekend? How was your week? How was your week last week? How are you, how are you holding up and down there, man? Well,
Speaker: Last week, should have been about a 90 to 100 hour work week for me. It's strenuous to say the least. I got off early on Saturday, which was nice because I got to go pick my kids up and bring them home. And then yesterday, my stepdaughter went back to her dad's house. And now I am got my tiny little minion. She's running around somewhere. I think she's eating spaghetti right now.
Speaker: So hopefully, right. And hopefully we, uh, we have a good week. Nice. And you're off this week, correct? Yes. Yes. All week long. Thank God. That's it. That's the one good thing about it. You know, like I don't go see my kid for three weeks out of the month, but when I finally do, you know, I get her for a full week. Is it long enough? No, but well, I take it. Yes. So when you're working those three weeks in a row, you're on the, you're on the whole time.
Speaker: Pretty much, you know, like, except was it last Saturday or well, I guess it'd been two Saturdays ago now, you know, when I first met blazing and, uh, like when I got to reset my hours for DOT, they let me come home to do that. So I'm usually home at least one day a week throughout, you know, the three weeks I'm gone, you know, I'll get one day out of those two weeks.
Speaker: Nice that makes it nice stuck out on the road the whole Yeah, excuse me the whole time. Yeah, it's nice Uh, how about you boys? How you doing, man? How you holding up? How was your weekend, brother? How was your Monday? Monday man, it was rough this morning. I haven't been sleeping very good the last couple nights getting over a sinus infection but cranky this morning pulled poured my coffee and then uh
Speaker: Found out where the best places in Kentucky to go watch the eclipse and there's only two hours away. So I'm like, fuck it. I'm gonna go do that. I need a better mood just for that prospect. And yeah, went out there. Got a good picture. Well, it could have been better, but decent picture of the total eclipse. I got to see 100 % of it. So it was pretty dope. Yeah. I'm good. I'm good. Good. Good days, bad days. Hopefully more good days than bad days around, you know.
Speaker: Absolutely, man. I am having so many more good days than I used to have. It's pretty fucking awesome. It's a, it's a gravy train on biscuit wheels. Yeah. And it's a hell of a feeling when you start having more of those good days than bad days. Trust me, I've been there, man. I know exactly. I'm there right now. You know, fortunately, you know, I have way more good than bad and then the bad ones don't seem to stick around as long as they used to. So that's always a plus. Yeah. Always a benefit.
Speaker: And then this guy, Jared Vinci. Jared Vinci. I feel like I need a break from you, bro. You're fired. I mean, okay. The Irish Popsicle. How you doing, man? How's everything going over there in your neck of the woods?
Speaker: Yeah, it's Minnesota. You know, everyone here was freaking out about that total eclipse of a fucking sun, you know, or the heart, whatever you want to fucking call it. And I'm just sitting here like, we're all gonna fucking die today to make it a good one. Just give the fucking world a big F you and go down in a blaze of glory.
Speaker: You know, I just don't, I don't, I don't understand. I don't understand people's mentality when there's an eclipse and it's like, Oh, it's people hear what they want to hear. And if it's doomsday, then they're all out there fucking bitch and about, Oh, the end of the world. It's like, well, maybe for some of you, the end of the world's a good thing. You know,
Speaker: Well, no, it's I just I get a kick out of it when people hear something like this and they automatically think oh It's the end of the fucking world. You know, it's just like oh my god. Let's go out and loot shit, you know, I Heard I heard people talking about oh the rapture is coming. Yeah weirdest the weirdest conspiracy theory I heard was it's a government cover -up. I'm like the only thing by the moon so
Speaker: I'm just glad it's over. You know, it was cool. It's a cool event. Um, you know, I feel like when we were younger, though, it seemed like we didn't have, but like one or two eclipse, like it was a bigger deal than what it is now. And I think this is like the second or third one that in the last like 10, 15 years or something like that. The next one's supposed to be in 20 years and 2044 though. So I mean,
Speaker: Yeah, yeah. Maybe it's just because we were kids back then and he didn't really. Yeah, time didn't really mean shit or anything, so it was like, you know how we could have an eclipse every year for all I know would be like, God, I feel like there's like one my entire life. Why do you have the lights off? Because it actually looks a little bit better. I mean, it doesn't make him look any bit better, but why hasn't Jeff been on the show?
Speaker: Well, Jeff's not on Monday nights and Connor's cooking dinner. This is what Connor does. He waits until the show starts. Well, to be fair, I kind of did the same thing. All I had to do was go heat up spaghetti. Easy, easy. Oh yeah. Yeah. It wasn't ramen tonight, Glick.
Speaker: It was, it was actually, it was actually spaghetti for the kid with spaghetti sauce on it. No, no, no, no. It was actual spaghetti and burger and all that, you know? No, but, um, you know, it's, uh, I don't know people in their conspiracy theory. And then I listened to talk radio like all day, every day, not like, not like, um, not like political talk radio or anything like that.
Speaker: But like, kind of like what we do, but it's on terrestrial radio. So therefore it's censored. You know, they can't drop F bombs and get as crazy as we do. But all the fucking jokes and puns and station was playing Pink Floyd's dark side of the moon all day. I can just put it on. It can't get over overused. A great song, but I mean, not for 24 hours. It's not.
Speaker: No, no, that's what no body Tyler. What the fuck radio stations? Yeah. Uh, and then all the other song based though, uh, you know, sun related or moon related or, you know, uh, logically related. I'm just glad this is one day and, and everybody will go back to normal tomorrow. Hey bro. Hey, why two K that's all I got to say. Yeah.
Speaker: About 24 years too late. Oh, right. Yeah. You know. I mean, the freak out on Y2K was just as bad as today, though. No. No. It was way worse then. 19 -year -old, 18 -year -old, Blake, however old I was. All I cared about New Year's Eve was getting hammered. If it was the end of the world, I'm going out freaking hammered. Exactly.
Speaker: And guess what? It wasn't the end of the world. However, one of those two things happened. I was hammered at midnight. Man, I am glad to have the weight of the world off my chest with this new situation, with this new company. This is like my first like full week
Speaker: Nothing changed other than the fact that I work for a new company. But other than that, it's like to have that sense of reassurance knowing that the last 45 days or whatever, I've been going, what the fuck is happening?
Speaker: Now we're just going through the process of making everything legit. I got to get my uniform, my shirts, my tech and all that. I guess I don't know if I'm getting a laptop and an iPad or both or so. I don't know what's going on yet. You mind if I ask what what industry? I mean, you don't have to need companies or I work in property management. Okay, cool. Unfancy. The unfancy title is I'm a maintenance guy. Oh, I have a friend in Mississippi that does that makes good money.
Speaker: Yeah, I make really good money. I like where I'm at. The only thing I don't like about where I'm at is the drive. I have a bit of road rage. Not you, you big old teddy bear. And I live about 45 minutes away and I have to drive to downtown Columbus, which I'm not a big fan of big cities anyways.
Speaker: But, you know, I like the area. I like the buildings. I like my tenants. Um, they're super cool. Um, so the job's not, it's not stressful. I mean, at the end of the day, I mean, I could make it stressful if I wanted to, but I would have to try very hard to make it stressful. Um, but you know, like I, like I, I've told people they're like, you don't do any hay anymore. So look, I've been working since I was 12 years old and I've been in the construction industry since I was 12 years old. Um, I started or 13, something like that.
Speaker: I started working, building stuff. I stayed with it and I built houses. I was a heavy equipment operator. I, you know, I've, you know, I've been, I've done it all. And after close to 30 years of doing it, you know what? My body can't handle the hard work anymore. I beat it up pretty bad. So yes, this is, this is a little bit more relaxing and, uh, Shut up, pussy.
Speaker: But, uh, no, I do, I do like it. Um, uh, the new company seems really cool. They're a younger company and, um, it seems like most of the people in the office and whatnot and, and, uh, they're a younger group. So they got a different mentality and a different way of thinking. Uh, so that's pretty cool. Yeah. Like I didn't say we're doing that. We're doing a happy hour. I mean, like literally their, their offices are right across the street from my buildings and, uh, they're doing a happy hour at, um,
Speaker: at one of the adult, one of the restaurants, right? Thank you, K -Meg. Right at the end of our buildings. Wednesday, however, I won't be able to make it because I'm 45 minutes away. You know, I don't want to drive. It's after work, but I don't want to drive afterwards. And then we got the show Wednesday night. But it's nice to get invited to something like that because the previous company I was with, they would do all these events and shit.
Speaker: And it was literally catered to the people in the office. Or they would send it out to everybody. And then like a slight handful of the maintenance guys. So it's like, it's kind of nice. I just had a personal email right to me. And it was like, oh, hey, thanks for the invite. But maybe next time. But it does take a lot of stress off and whatnot.
Speaker: But I didn't really have a topic or anything like that for tonight. Typically, I usually try to have a topic. But I didn't have one because I knew we were going to have you guys on here. And I guess, Blaze, if you don't mind, I kind of want to start with you. Oh, there's Connor. Sorry. No one told me that children needed anything. You don't have to.
Speaker: I mean you don't have to but it's frowned upon in a lot of states. Yeah, it's all fun and games till my wife comes home to beat my ass because they're unalive. Let me welcome everybody the sixth member of NSYNC, Connor Diaz. Actually it's gray, it's just the light.
Speaker: That is white as **** There it is. Okay. Now, it's great. I'm wearing a gray shirt with a gray hat, homie. That's definitely not white. Well, it was white as **** a minute ago, homie. Yeah, it's just the it's just the white. Um but uh if you don't mind, Blaze, I'd like to start with you mainly A because you know, you and I do have a
Speaker: Let's see. I say it one way. It's going to sound weird. I say it another way. It's going to sound like, like there was fish. We have, we, you know, we have a little bit of a history together. You know, you were on haps about the same time I was. And it's one of the very few times I'll mention that at my name, but you know, we were both kind of doing our thing on there and I got to hang out with you a few times and I watched your streams and stuff like that. And, uh, but you just kind of, you just kind of fell off the face of the earth, man.
Speaker: I did. I was going through. We're talking about mental health. So yeah, I had to focus on that. It was some mental issues that I didn't know I had that I know now. Diagnosed treatment. So I'm doing better on that front. But yeah, I needed the time to do that.
Speaker: There was so much negativity from that little period that I had to step away for a moment. So yeah. But hey, it is what it is. I mean, we all have to go through that sometimes. Sometimes longer, sometimes shorter. So it's different for everyone. But you had mentioned earlier about road rage. It's funny you brought that up.
Speaker: I went through, thanks to the VA, I went through a program, an inpatient program called SART, substance abuse and therapy and et cetera, et cetera. Just to caveat real quick, hey, I'm off the weed, but yeah, it was a lot of self -medication. I diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, which came with the whole strew of
Speaker: symptoms we can get into later, but like I said, you had brought up road rage and not that I was a very road rage individual. There was times, oh, there was times I wanted to pull people and pull them out of the car and beat them. But we went through something called DBT, dialectical behavior therapy. And it was originally actually designed for people with borderline personality disorder, but
Speaker: They've also found it's useful for people with drug addiction as well. Because even with drug addiction comes, you know, the inability to control our emotions and we get rageful, I guess you can say. And dialectical behavior therapy or DDT helps kind of bring you back to the moment. Like one of my biggest things is rumination or ruminating.
Speaker: all the negative shit in the past constantly going through my head. But DBT helps the person to kind of bring yourself back into the moment, present, kind of focus on that. There's different exercises, meditation. And it's not just the meditation. You're like, there's different types of meditation. There's meditation you can do while you're sitting right here just in your head. Or like sitting in your room or wherever you're at, like light, wall.
Speaker: you know, just naming stuff in your mind, what's around you brings you back in a moment. So I mean, stuff like that, sometimes even changing the music we're listening to in the car can even help bring down our rage levels. So yeah. I've talked about that on the clicks house of music, you know, how, you know, how music affects affects us, you know, you know, if, you know, if you're in a bad mood and you're listening to certain type of music or
Speaker: You know, if you're, if you're dealing with something emotional and you start listening to sappy stuff, obviously it's gonna, it's gonna, it's, it's like firing gasoline or yeah, firing gasoline, you know? So, you know, music does have that, uh, the joyous effect. I mean, music, music's just an outside or outside stimulant that affects us. I mean, just like in like our environment or anything. Yeah. Like, but now for some people.
Speaker: that loud, heavy metal, death metal stuff actually calms them down. Because it's a way they can release that rage inside. Or if I'm listening to something sappy, I get angry. Because it's bringing back those bad memories.
Speaker: It's music, you know, it's I'm the same, you know, I, you know, if I, if I'm listening to, and again, depending upon what's going on, if I'm listening to rock, rocker country is usually one of my two go tos. And I've said it on here before, you know, I'm type of guy where.
Speaker: One of my favorite country artists is Jason Aldean. And I swear to God that every time that guy writes a new album, he digs inside of my head somehow and gets, you know, gets inspiration to write his music because it's to me on so many different levels. I'm the type of guy, if I'm dealing with stuff or going through stuff, I like to go for a drive. And a lot of times I find myself on a back country road with the windows down blasting Jason Aldean.
Speaker: Driving a hundred miles an hour not good. I don't recommend it, but that's you know, that's how I clear my mind sometimes Yeah, you know I told these guys once before you know one time I just went out for a drive and ended up like two three hours away from home Had no idea where I was I was just driving and why not spending the night in this little town and Actually began it was one of the best things for me at the moment Say that a little
Speaker: a little bed and breakfast type place that was owned by an older husband and wife, got to meet them and talk to them and sit down and have dinner with them. Cause they own the hotel, they own the diner and you know, and it was like, well, this is where I'm supposed to be at this moment in time for whatever's going through my head. I didn't even care where I was until the next morning when it was like, I had to figure out how I get home. So, but it was one of those, it was one of those moments. Um,
Speaker: And there's nothing wrong with it. Sometimes we do just need to get away. And it's funny that you brought up, it's just where you're supposed to be. I mean, that's something else that was brought up by CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy. But I get to learn all these new acronyms. Yeah, you get to learn all these new acronyms. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But there's a lot of big words that fly around. You look around and everybody else is like, what did he just say?
Speaker: What's how it's it is what it is I mean there isn't it should be this this shouldn't be this it is what it is I mean Whatever steps have led up to this point. I mean That's just the way it is so Yeah, I say that a lot there's some people that get aggravated when I say that it is what it is because You can't change it. It's already happened
Speaker: Yeah, I can't fix it, but I can't change the past. But if I can only work on the future or the present, but sometimes things just happen and it's completely out of our control. And we've talked to Connor because I was telling you Saturday night, Connor did what, eight years in the Air Force, Connor? I did six and a half in the Air Force and three in the Army. OK. But his time came way too soon for him to be out of the military.
Speaker: But it was nothing that he did. It was out of his control. Yeah, I think anybody that's been in the military regardless of the year for four or 24, you're coming out with some level of PTSD. Just going through basic training itself is a stressful situation. It can be traumatic for people. Oh, yeah. I think a lot of people have issues with not so much the whole
Speaker: Like it happened like whatever it is letting go of the fact that it happened you can't do anything about it Yeah, everyone can accept that you can't do anything about it. It's the swallowing that fact so yes, it's not just swallowing that facts the fact that they They conditioned us in the military to swallow our feelings of pushing down. Yeah maintain that warrior ethos And that's something that's something that's hard to get over especially when you get out of the military You got to readjust a civilian life
Speaker: It's it's it's a so windy road to to go down so we were I was talking to my I had a therapy appointment today actually and She brought up this chart with all these different feelings and emotions on this and she's like the emotion will yes She was like I bring this out for my military people in particular Because they either say they're happy Angry or anxious
Speaker: They'll never say they're sad. They'll never say they're feeling emotional. None of these things because the military reinforces this, this not so much negative male connotation as a, you have to be able to push all that shit aside and it's good while you're in the military. It's, it's important to do that, but then you come out and you try and re assimilate to a civilian life and
Speaker: You get back to being with your family more often and I'm noticing it is the emotions where I'm feeling maybe something like sadness or shame or something else ends up coming out as anger. Yeah. And it's something that we're trying to figure out and work on is that's you to figure out what emotion you're really having before you jump to the one that's the first in your head. Because we're just like I said earlier, we're conditioned to express it that way. The sadness.
Speaker: the depression, the anxiety, it's all that. It's like, those are negative feelings we have. And the only way we know how to express those is through anger. Right. Yeah. And that, uh, that emotion will, when I first looked at it, I'm like, wow, I didn't know that emotion was, you know, spurred on to that emotion related to that emotion. It's, it's, it's not just simple. Like you say, it's not just happy, sad, mad. It's,
Speaker: the the
Speaker: I don't want to sound sexist, but women are really emotional and they're good at showing their feelings. And so I'm sure that to go from being able to show, or not being able to show your emotional ability, being around people who are good at it or who do it all the time. I mean, you're the outcast. I think on some level we're all emotional. I've, I've always been more of a sensitive type person. I'll say it, but, um, I can, I've been emotional in the past and my thing was I would,
Speaker: I'd, I'd be emotional and I'd stay on that emotion for a long time, not being able to process it and work through it. But, uh, I've, I've learned tools to, to mitigate that and help, and help me out. So, yeah. I think I was the, for a long time, you know, just, and Connor touched on it, you know, I think men in general were just conditioned. You know, we, we, we.
Speaker: We don't show emotions the way that other people do. It's either we're here, we're existing, or we're angry. You know what I mean? There's really no in between. So that's something that I've learned. And I think I might be one of the oddballs here. Not doing therapy. I tried it. I've tried it a couple of different times. It's not for me because the moment.
Speaker: this is just my moment. They start pushing drugs. I'm out because at the end of the day, I just want somebody to talk to and I know that like they're not like that. So I'm not I I understand. I I was that way one time when it comes to the whole pills because I've heard bad bad stories but I'm on a mood stabilizer now. Like I said, I got borderline personality disorder and so my emotions I mean it's it's
Speaker: I'm not gonna say it's more like bipolar, but my mood swings were up and down. It was never, it's always like this. And like when normal people were kind of like this. So it's brought me down to a more stable, I'm stable in my mind. I guess you can say I'm more focused. I can have more clarity. I can recognize my emotions and deal with them in that moment instead of not being able to. So before I went, I mean, so after I started taking that,
Speaker: I started taking my mood stabilizers. Funny enough, the particular ones I are on were first, when it first came out, it was for epilepsy. But they found out that it helps from mood swings. But anyway, I started taking about a month or so before I went into therapy. And even before I went into therapy, I was already starting to calm down.
Speaker: I was already like, oh, I don't need to smoke weed today. I don't need that beer. I don't need that shot. Because I was smoking weed. I was self -medicating, basically. As soon as I got all those mood stabilizers, I just felt more in control of myself. So I know there's a lot of bad stigma around pharmaceuticals and mental health. There's a lot of different types of pills for different things. First, they wanted to...
Speaker: Describe me anti -depressant But after talking to psychiatrist psychiatrists are the one that can do medication psychologists don't learn that But I talked to psychiatrists and she was like, well Maybe you don't need the antidepressants after I talked to her for a while. She's like mood stabilizers Because they were thinking it was just just PTSD That's talking while it was just that
Speaker: So mood stabilizer and the therapy to learn the mental tools, you know, put those nice positive tools in my toolbox. So I don't, don't discredit the medication right off. And a lot of people, it takes a few different tries to find the right one. So I just, you know, for me, you know, it's more of a personal thing for me.
Speaker: And my mom, she was a pill head. My cousin was a pill head. So I don't go to the doctor unless something has to be really wrong. And even then, when they prescribe antibiotics, and Nikki's noticed that a few weeks back, I had a tooth infection.
Speaker: it was all down in my neck and my face was all swallowed up. She made me go to urgent care and they prescribe a antibiotic and like ibuprofen 600 or whatever. And I was like, oh, and she's like, it's fine. And I was like, well, you know, I'm, you know, is there anything addicted? You know, like, I don't want to be, you know, and I know it sounds dumb. It probably sounds really stupid to other people. Like it's
Speaker: You know, but I have a fear of, you know, I don't want to, I don't want to end up like my mom or my cousin, both of which are no longer with us. And my cousin, I actually have outlived my cousin at this point, because they did have doctors. I mean, you know, my mom could walk into this doctor's office and say, Hey, I cut my arm off. I need this, this, this, and this. And she's got both of her arms.
Speaker: just going to write our prescription for everything. And if he's got free samples, he's giving them to her. So I'm kind of turned off. But I did, you know, one of the one of the one of the last therapists I went to, I actually
Speaker: met a gentleman that was in there. He was a patient as well. And him and I got to talk and because we were just in the waiting room talking one day and I was telling him, I said, you know, I don't know how many more of these I'm going to come to because he's already starting to want to put me on, on, on meds and stuff like that. And I don't want to be on pills. And this guy started talking to me about like dietary stuff and, and working out and everything like that. And, uh, Hey, Mandy, what's going on? Uh,
Speaker: in different workouts. So, you know, like when I'm at the gym, which I need to get back to, um, you know, I, yeah, I'm there. I want to lose weight, but I'm, I'm doing different types of workouts that, you know, you know, he taught me that not only is it going to work out your body, but you know, getting your body right is also going to affect your mind. But some of these workouts that he, and he says something that he just did on his own. He said it started helping his.
Speaker: his mental, you know, his mental whereabouts and stuff. And I started doing some of those workouts and I'm like, okay, so, you know, plus I listen to music, you know, I zone out when I'm at the gym. So I found alternative methods so that, you know, I wouldn't, so I didn't wind up depending on the meds. I mean, the people who use them, great. It's just a personal preference. I know they work. I just, I have that, I almost fear, uh,
Speaker: That's right. So you brought up your family's history with pills, and I think that's a reasonable concern because addiction can run and run families. But finding something else like working out, changing your diet, getting a good restful sleep every night, those things help our mental as well. It helps with especially the working out and stuff. It helps with positive self -image. It helps with
Speaker: going to sleep. If you're getting good REM sleep, you'll be better the next day. Exercise, and I don't want to say people just go to the gym. Go exercise, even if it's walking five miles or something. Me, I can't stay in the gym. I don't like being around a lot of people. My enjoyment is hikes and walks in nature and et cetera. Whatever you need to do to get out there. What's happening?
Speaker: That's what I like about my gym. I still live in a small enough town, small enough city that there's never a lot of people there. So I mean, and especially if I'm right, there might be like.
Speaker: six or seven people in there. And it's like, it's a big, it's a planet fitness. So it's a big ass gym. So it's like, I'm here in my own little order. And that's not bad. That's not bad. You're not fighting over equipment. Yeah. And that's me. I go in, I got noise canceling earbuds. I put them in, I play my music. Sometimes I'm listening to, you guys can make fun of me if you want. I don't care. It just depends on my mood. Sometimes I'm listening to boy bands. Sometimes I'm listening to like fucking guar.
Speaker: You know, sometimes I might be out of Britney Spears girl band kick or something. I, you know, just whatever my, my mood is that day, but I'm that guy. If you pull my earbuds out, if I'm in the gym five days a week and you pull my earbuds out five days and put them in your ears, you're going to hear something different every day of the week.
Speaker: I was just about to ask, have you accidentally started singing out loud to Britney Spears? I have never started singing out loud to Britney Spears, but I have a couple of times when I lived in Charleston and that gym was a little bit more busy. I have without, because I'm in my own world, you know, I'm in the zone or whatever, and I've accidentally started singing out loud and I'll be on a piece of equipment and get
Speaker: Uh, you're singing. Okay. One more time. Yeah. Yeah. But, uh, no, never accidentally, uh, saying, uh, saying Britney Spears out loud. However, I was, uh, driving the forklift today at work and apparently not paying attention. I was singing, uh, uh, Bill Wither, Weathers or Withers. Withers.
Speaker: And this old lady was like, Oh, I like that song. You have a nice voice. What's again, I'm in my own little world. You know, that's a happy place for me. Uh, you know, driving equipment and I love operating equipment. Uh, I hate to do this. I have to take a moment. My medicine alarms are going off. So I get a coffee every night and every morning. And then whenever I get back, if you have any questions or anything, you're good, man. Don't worry about it.
Speaker: So don't feel left out, buddy. I see you down there. Who? Apparently there's an owl on the show. I'm just listening, bro. You know? Well, you know, I wanted to kind of get an introduction from both of you guys because, you know, we do got a break coming up here in about 20 minutes or so. So, you know,
Speaker: you you actually and this is part of this is part of the show you know i you know i want men to i want other men to feel like that they they can come on the show and and be a part of the show and share what's going on in the world and what's going you know just share your story so to say right you know i i am kind of curious uh
Speaker: You know, like I said, I just kind of wanted to, you know, introduction to yourself, but you know, what's, what's, what's, what's going on over there in your world, man? Like, you know, what kind of things, what kind of things are you dealing with? Are you? Well, on the, on the middle aspect, you know, I mean, the industry I work in and oil and gas, you know, it's just like construction or any other, you know, blue color industry, you know?
Speaker: Um, you know, long hours, you know, away from family, friends, loved ones, stuff like that. And it, and people might not know, but it does take a toll on us because, you know, when you're working. So the second week I was back at work, this last hitch, I was, I was running 20 hour days straight for seven days a week.
Speaker: And, you know, I mean, that's that people don't see the physical strain or the mental strain that that actually puts on a person, you know, and like blazing and Connor both said, you know, like the military condition, new recruits and stuff like that and boot camp to, you know, basically swallow their feelings and keep them pushed down. It's kind of the same in the blue collar industry, you know, because
Speaker: I mean, it's it's hard to just walk up to someone and be like, hey, you know, I'm feeling this way or hey, I'm feeling this way, you know, because you're going to get looked at probably laughed at or nowadays it'll be like, oh, do you need a safe space or something like that? And, you know, like I've had a lot of mental trauma throughout my life. Like I've seen shit and had shit happen in my life, you know, that has taken a toll on me and
Speaker: It just, it's like, holy shit, you know? And then, you know, you say you have a show where it's like, no one judges you. We'll still call you a pussy though. But no, that's on Wednesdays and Saturdays. Oh, okay. But no, like, you know, and I had a real bad drinking problem and it was to the point where, you know, we, we talked a little bit about it last Saturday. After Saturday night, you had a drinking problem.
Speaker: I would never guess that one. Dude, that was mild. I mean, there was a point in time where you would have never even known I had any alcohol in my body at all, because that's just I started drinking and never stopped. If I ever went to a bar, it was it wasn't for one or two beers or just to hang out and play pool shit like that. No, it was I'm on a mission. We're going to get fucking annihilated. We're going to shut the bar down. And when that's done, we're going to an after party.
Speaker: And that was the life I lived for fuck 12 years almost. And my humbling moment, I guess you could say was when I found out my ex was pregnant with our daughter and it was kind of like a smack to the face because, you know, I hadn't really been there. Like I hadn't really shared how I felt with about things with her and this, that and the other, you know,
Speaker: And most of that was because I wasn't really sure how I felt about myself at the time. You know, like a lot of people say you got to love yourself before you can love someone else or like yourself. And that is true. And I, uh, so it was after my, I've been married and divorced twice. My first divorce was my roughest.
Speaker: This one here didn't really take that much of a toll on me because it was kind of a mutual. It was more mutual than the first one, you know? But I'll be right back.
Speaker: It's very rare that you hear the comment when it comes to divorce neutral. Typically
Speaker: Typically divorce is very one sided. Um, and unfortunately it's the, you know, it's the woman who's leaving her once out or, or whatever. Um, I don't think people really understand that a lot of times it's two way street. Um, things happen, you know, it's not just one person solely. I mean, that was something the first year or so that after my wife left me, I had to realize it took a lot for me to realize.
Speaker: Sorry about that. As bad as I was at her and stuff like that that you know. I was just as guilty as she was. Yeah, I think that's why we were able to, you know, have the you know, not that we're super close or anything like that. We were not hanging out on the weekends or anything, but you know we do co -care very well. We get along very well. I think it was that you know I had to come to terms with the fact that it wasn't all just her fault.
Speaker: Whereas she had to do the same. Uh, you know, she can't get down that moment with herself as well. Um, but usually it's, you know, when it comes to divorces and stuff, you don't hear the phrase, it was mutual or more mutual than, than the last, than the last one. Hopefully I never have another, uh, divorce. I always said I was only going to be married one time and one time only. However,
Speaker: Things change and things happen. So Man, I told myself that for a couple years after my divorce. I'm never gonna get married again Blah blah blah marriage stupid blah blah blah and now I'm kind of like Yeah, I find the right person again. It's it's definitely on the table. So yeah, yeah
Speaker: I don't want to say I'm sorry. No, no, you're fine, man. You're fine I was gonna say but that also goes back to Back then though that was probably during the times when you were in some of your dark times as well, you know So you had to find your center again for yourself before you could even remotely Consciously put that back on the table for yourself, too, you know, yeah and see and that's that's where I'm at right now Yeah, I've had
Speaker: two relationships since then, um, one prior to therapy and medication and one after. And the one prior, it was still a shit show of a breakup. I guess I hate saying the word breakup and girlfriend boyfriend type high school shit, but, um, it, it, we don't really get along. Um, I tried to reconcile these friendship wise bridges burned, but the one after we're still friends.
Speaker: like it's it yeah yeah yeah so it's I was able to handle rejection that was one thing I wasn't able to handle sometimes all right I couldn't handle rejection it was you know there's burning bridges and then there's calling in an airstrike to make sure it's never rebuilt again you know it was it was it was that extreme for me and I I'll admit it it sucks for other people I mean it's it's it sucked for me but it was
Speaker: Right. Not exactly. You know, they always say that there's those people who like to watch the world burn and jokes around on the show. But, you know, I was, hey, I'm I'm those people, you know, I'll watch the world fucking burn around me and not and not think twice about it. But I will say that, you know,
Speaker: my ex -wife leave and me, that was an eye opener on a lot of different levels that started me down the road that I'm still on to this day, six years later, seven years later, however long it's been. And not only that, but you know, I've had since since we split up, you know, I've had before I met my fiance, now I had three other relationships and
Speaker: You know, one was very weird, you know, it was not a, I don't know, it was just weird. The other one just, you know, not paying attention to red flags, and then
Speaker: being more mad at myself that I let it happen again. Uh, and then the last one I apartment, my, my fiance now is just, I don't even think that relationship was supposed to be any more than what it was. And that was, you know, that extra kick in the ass that goes, you know, Hey, it's all right. If you put your foot down and stand up for yourself and put yourself first day, um, you know, and that's kind of the mentality that I have now the last couple of years of first and foremost,
Speaker: got to get rid of the toxicity and the toxic people in my life. You know, former app, like you said, there was a lot of toxicity on there and a lot of toxic people, man. I had to cut a lot of people out of my personal life too. Not just people there. And nobody specific. I mean, I had to cut other people out of my life just because it wasn't so much. It's because
Speaker: Some people have this stigma around mental health that you're just a... And don't get me wrong, I mean, there for a little bit. I mean, I did feel like I was a broken person, but they don't want to see past the mental health. They only want to look at the symptoms that you're exhibiting and just judge you on that. Even after getting help and stuff, I still get that from people. And it's like, why am I trying? Sometimes you have to maintain a healthy level of selfishness
Speaker: for the good of yourself. Yeah. A lot of my personal life, my, my, my circle has gotten very small. I mean, I've said it on here, you know, I love my parents to death. I love my dad to death. Wasn't ever like rate his dad, but you know, I haven't spoken to him in about a year and a half now.
Speaker: but they were one of those people that I had to do what was best for me mentally. And I had to eliminate them out of my life because it was just wearing heavy on me, the way that they would talk to me and treat me. And it's like, I'm a grown -ass man. I'm a grown -ass man doing things that on my own that you never had to do. So get off my back.
Speaker: But yeah, personal life, online, hell, I've created a whole new circle of friends online just in the last year alone. And Jarvis is a part of that, K -Mag is a part of that. The guys from Talking Shit, they're a part of that. Leggy and I were able to put our differences to the side and become friends. I consider Leggy a friend.
Speaker: just to reference that app again. I don't think you and I really interacted that much. I don't remember. I think we were live together a couple times. I would watch some of your lives and hang out a little bit and be in the comments here and there.
Speaker: But also it was very hard to keep track of anybody because it was just so random and sporadic on there. I think the only people who had schedule where Jeff and I, you know, and that was really the only time I was on there. But every once in a while, I'd get like a notification of Tony or somebody like that was live with you or whatever that I would pop it to be in the comments. And like I said, I think I only actually came up live with you once or twice. Yeah.
Speaker: But yeah, it wasn't like we interacted a whole lot. You were just one of the few people that I did like to watch on there. I liked your content for the most part, which is another thing, because there wasn't many people on there that I cared for their content. Well, I'm not going to lie. I mean, I did it kind of as an outlet for myself at that time. Before I started even streaming, I'd always like bounced around to different streams kind of
Speaker: trolling people, but I try to do it enough in a funny way and sometimes it's kind of in a satirical way. But then I was like, you know, I'm a search stream just for a little personal outlet. But honestly, I never really looked at myself as any anything of significant value doing it for anybody else but myself. Yeah. So I so I definitely appreciate the compliment. Thank you. Well, that's that's that's honestly what got me in. You know, I've always wanted to do podcasting.
Speaker: But when I was married, you know, and again, this is one of those things where there was no physical abuse between my my ex -wife and I, you know, anything like that. But but she she had she had mentally broke. I was mentally broken. You know, I the last four or five years of our marriage, I pretty much lived in a garage. I didn't go out a lot with her. I didn't get invited out a lot with.
Speaker: with her and her friends. There was an image that was an asshole and I was always grumpy and stuff like that. So for the most part of my life revolved around going to work and coming home and sitting in my garage and playing video games or watching TV. And then I found Paris. Like I started hearing them talking on the radio about Paris. Shortly before that, I was on U Street and U Street was only around for a hot minute.
Speaker: And I would jump on there sporadically. It was like, oh, I kind of like this. I always wanted to have a podcast. I still want to be in radio one day. I don't know. Maybe I'm getting too old for that. I don't know. But never say never. Well, I'm glad you said the radio, because you only got the voice for fucking radio. Face only a mama can love. Man, that's debatable sometimes. Mama Squash. Mama Squash. That was her baby Squash.
Speaker: But, um, you know, so it, and then the day that Periscope came out, I was like, let me, let me download this and see, and see what it's all about. And, uh, you know, I downloaded it. I was kind of watching people. And then that very first Saturday I was sitting at home alone. I was drinking.
Speaker: Like, let me set up my phone and just go live, you know? And I had no idea what I was doing, but I did. It was my way to get to the outside world, because the only thing I really knew were my kids, my house, and work. You know, I didn't really have many adult interactions or anything like that. And it became my outlet, and it became my place where
Speaker: you know, I could go and hang out and chit chat and shoot the shit. It was just me, you know, and people watching and comment. And then before I knew it, it was like, man, you know, I had to create social media for it because people wanted to follow me and, and, and then, you know, Saturday night, nine o 'clock, 10 o 'clock, whenever it was that I would go live, if I wasn't live, I would start to get, Hey, where are you at? Click everything. You know, everything. All right. You know, I never had people checking on me. Like I, you know, I, I made the comment about, you know,
Speaker: you know, an attempt. And I said, when I made my last attempt that I knew it would be a good week or so before anybody even thought that I was gone or thought that I realized that I was missing. So it was like, oh, wow, these people actually, you know, they're online. I mean, they might give a shit about me. And it was and it was fun because you're having fun, having a good time, whatever. But
Speaker: I never thought I would get like three or four people that come in there. And then I do these lives and it'd be 500 or 1000, 2000 people in there watching. It was just like, Holy shit. And then when Periscope started to fade, my kids were getting involved in TikTok and they were still kind of young. And I was like, let me jump on there just to keep an eye on them. They're like, dad, you got to make a video. I got on TikTok and then that became my way to vent. I could make videos and silly videos kind of going off of how
Speaker: I'm having a crappy fucking day. I'm feeling like, shit, let me make a couple of videos with some cool songs or whatever. And then it got to the point where I was able to go live on TikTok. And, you know, being able to go live on TikTok was just another place for me to kind of hang out.
Speaker: And I still had this mindset of wanting to start a podcast and Jeff and I were talking, you know, we, we, we would talk two or three, four hours a day on the phone. I don't know what grown as men talk to each other that long on the phone, but Jeff and I were doing it. Definitely not, uh, um, doing your fingernail secrets. I'm sure. Yeah. Bullshit.
Speaker: You know, but, uh, you know, and I was like, Jeff, I got crazy idea. I want to start a podcast, but I don't want to do a podcast on my own. He's, and before I even finished, she said, I'm in, I'm in. Let's let's rock. And it's funny because today is the three anniversary of when I started promoting the podcast and went out and got all my equipment and everything like that. So I was just like, Oh, that's kind of cool. It popped up in all my memories. Congratulations.
Speaker: Hell yeah. And then the podcast thing has just become our way to, we have fun. You know, I have a life out now, you know, the last couple of years I've actually.
Speaker: You know, we've been getting out more and hell, Nikki and I, we go to concerts, we go to sporting events, we go camping and shit like that. You know, we're constantly going to PA and, you know, so it's like, I have a life outside of the podcasting, believe it or not. It's just, at the end of the day, this is my dream. This is also my way of clearing out all the negativity in my head. And that's why I said, you know, I had to get past,
Speaker: all the toxicity of the negatives, the negative minded people out that we're out there and just kind of get away from them and start all over. And I'm loving, you know, creating the community that we're currently creating. Uh, potentially there's a new podcast. It's that wants to, that wants to work with us. Uh, we might be adding a new podcast to the community down the road. We're still in talks. I'm still filling them out and everything, but they're from the UK area. So it's just like, okay, now we're getting, you know,
Speaker: This is, you know, if you wanted to do the break now or not, you have to cut you off. I know you do a break after an hour, don't you? Sometimes it depends. That's what Jarvis was here for to make sure the production. We're not here for the fucking epic.
Speaker: We're up here for it. We're up against an asshole. No, actually, I was I was actually just looking at that. Do you want to take a real quick break? Shout out one of our sponsors here, Liquid IV. You know, we were talking about it earlier, not only, you know, with your mental health, but getting, you know, your physical health affects your mental health as well. Liquid IV is going to make sure you're properly hydrated.
Speaker: Got about 16, 18, I think they're up to 18 flavors now. They got a sugar -free options. They've also got kids, uh, kids, liquid IV as well. Uh, liquid IV one packet and a 16 ounce bottle of water is going to hydrate you two times faster than water alone. Three times the electrolytes, uh, those leading sports drinks and five essential vitamins there for you as well. Real people, real flavor, real hydrated over at liquidiv .com. Use our promo code words are hard. You're going to get 20 % off your entire order.
Speaker: when you shop better hydration today. Well, let's see, what do I wanna do? I'm gonna do a little, I'm gonna do a little cover of Green Day's Basket Case. And then we'll be back here in a few minutes talking with, with Blazin and K -Mag. We're gonna get back into K -Mag's world as well. And I got some questions for Blazin. We'll be back here in just a few minutes. Enjoy this.
Speaker: do you have the time to listen to me whine about nothing and everything
Speaker: She said it's like the sex that's bringing me
Speaker: Sometimes I give myself a breeze Sometimes I put my place tricks on me It all keeps adding up I think I'm cracking up Am I just paranoid? Or am I just stoned?
Speaker: Oh, a little basket case if it was a country version. Yeah, I like that. I ain't mad at it. Welcome back to men camp for men. Ladies and gentlemen, you see, we got a whole house here tonight. We're hanging out with our special guests, blazing and K mag sharing their.
Speaker: their little mental health little, I don't know why I said little, sorry, I didn't mean to downplay it. I've seen Brian sharing their mental health struggles and journey and where they're at today and how they're doing all that jazz. And as usual, we've got Gera Vichy in the building. Hey, Connor D in the building. What's going on, buddy? He took off his hat. Now he's no longer a member of Backstreet Boys.
Speaker: Now now I'm just a struggling father and husband What do like Adele and set fire to the ring buddy chloroform works amazing too down her throat
Speaker: I just like my kid sippy cups with my quilt. I don't know what you're talking about. Hey, what happened? I'm not losing my mind. Welcome back to Men Caring for Men. It's our Men's Mental Health Podcast. If you're not already, go ahead and check out the social medias. We are everywhere across the board. Don't forget, you can also listen to us every Monday, 7pmish on YouTube, Facebook, and Twitch.
Speaker: And if you miss this live, you can listen to us anytime, any place, wherever you listen to podcasts that we are on all them, all them podcasting platforms. I don't know how or why, but we're there.
Speaker: or you can simply run on over to bio .link slash nonsensical nonsense. All those links are there. Give us follow. Give us a listen. And if you'd be so kind, give us a share and don't forget to check out our sponsors liquid IV, your hydration destination, W energy, your crash list, generalist energy drink, w .gg and Zen caster for all your podcasts. It needs super easy to use in one place.
Speaker: Zincaster .com. Make sure you use our promo code. Words are hard to check out at all those places. Get those savings. Get those discounts. What the hell are you doing? Yes. Good job. Congratulations. Thank you. She just got a job. Hell yeah. Nice. Working at the Chipotle. See you all in the chatters box. What's going on? What's going on, Brian? Fireman Rich in the building. What's going on?
Speaker: How are you guys doing? Welcome, welcome. So as I said, we, you know, we were, we were chatting, we were chatting with the guys and I wanted, I want to kind of continue to talk to K mag a little bit here. Cause, uh, you did, uh, I want to kind of talk to K mag here because he was, you know, he was talking about, you know, uh, dealing with alcoholism, dealing with divorce, you know, being, being at work, you know,
Speaker: Just, just, you know, you military guys know what it's like. I mean, I remember, you know, back in the day, I've had days where I was working 14, 15, 16, 17 hours a day, you know, being from an Ohio working construction in the summertime, you literally worked from sun up until sun down. And you were at the shop before the sun come out and you were still up to shop hours after the sun went down because you were preparing for the next day or cleaning up or doing whatever.
Speaker: You know, just killing yourself. Um, and then I know you guys in the military, you guys put in a fuck for an hour. So I swear to God, you know, every time I talked to Connor, it didn't matter. Yeah. I can talk to him four or five times a day when he was in like Korea or something. He was always at work. You know, so home was my second home.
Speaker: came to kind of pick up where you left off. You were talking about your divorce is because apparently you didn't learn the first time. It's like that saying, you know, I learned things the hard way. It just takes me about 30 times to figure it out. But that not being the case in this instance, but no, so like. My big deal with communication like I.
Speaker: I sucked at it and I tried to talk to her about it a lot but anytime we started talking it always turned into an argument and I would just I'd shut down because I was like I'm not gonna sit here and argue with you about it like I'm trying to tell you how I feel or what's on my mind or and it turned into an argument you know um but that was with
Speaker: This last, this, that was with my second ex and me and her kind of reconciled, you know, we're friends now. And like things between me and her really good, as far as friendship goes, you know, I mean, I get my kid, we don't hassle about it. There was no, no long drawn out court processes forward or nothing like that. Like, you know, we worked with the scheduling that I dealt with or dealt in the industry that I do.
Speaker: And fireman rich, that is exactly right. Communication is important in both directions. And it just, it wasn't there or it was, and I didn't hear it or she didn't want, you know, but one thing, one thing I learned though, it looks kind of helpful. But like, so one thing that I learned was.
Speaker: that when I shut down, I'll close myself off from everybody, family, friends, loved ones, it doesn't matter. I'll listen to music, I'll play video games, I'll do whatever I need to do to get the emotions in my head out. I'll use music as an escape or gaming as an escape for that or vice versa, however it works out for me.
Speaker: I have been getting better at communicating. Like I said, me and her reconciled and me and hers actually sat down and we've both actually talked and listened now that we're not together. It's a lot easier to do that when you're not. You're right, it is. Of an actual, you know, the daily...
Speaker: I mean, I got nothing on UK, man. I've only been divorced once. So, you know, you don't have the normal day -to -day stresses and the aggravation and frustration of, and not that marriage is bad. Don't get me wrong, guys. You know, marriage is great, but it comes, it's part of the package. You're going to have stresses and frustrations and aggravations. It's not necessarily your partner. It's just life in general.
Speaker: They're you and them are your number one source event. Yeah, no, exactly. There's some frustrations. It's a lot easier to sit down and have a conversation with somebody and talk about things. Yeah, no, it really is. You know, I mean, there's nothing to lose at that point either. Like lady just exactly.
Speaker: You know, and me and her, like I said, we've reconciled our friendships there, you know, like we're, we're good for our daughter and, you know, that's the big part, you know, being there for our kid. So now I do want to kind of hopscotch back here a second and talk about my first divorce. That was, that was just a train wreck that derailed, caught fire blew up, derailed again on the same tracks and literally just ignited a nuclear explosion.
Speaker: But, um, so I have, I have two kids. I have a daughter and a son, but I only get to see my daughter because my first ex -wife and not so many words, she is, she's a good mom, just not a good person in my opinion, my opinion, but my ex -wife, great mother, horrible wife. Yeah.
Speaker: But it hurt, got a divorce because like I said, I work in the oil and gas industry. Like Glick said, sun up, sun down well after sun's already went to bed, you know, then you come home and you want to relax. You don't really want to do anything. And.
Speaker: she was always like, well, you never want to do it. I'm like, I can't even schedule anything to do because I was, if I wasn't at work, I was on call 24 seven, seven days a week for about five years straight, you know, and you can't really plan anything with a job like that. And I tried talking to her about it. And again, you know, it was the same thing, you know, she, uh,
Speaker: Basically anytime we tried to talk it would turn into a fight Well me and her got divorced and she was one of those that hit me with child support Alimony payments like you you name it I've got a payment for about everything you can get a payment for in a divorce other than a car payment and She was like well um
Speaker: She's like, I'm going to take our son and I'm going to go to, she's like, I'm moving back to Missouri. And I was like, you know, and subconsciously myself, you know, I didn't want her to do that because I knew at that point in time, if she did, because I don't, I don't think she quite understood right now. Okay. In a minute. But, uh,
Speaker: subconsciously I don't think or I think that I already knew that if she moved to Missouri that I would never get to see my son very often because my work schedule and all this. The one thing I asked her and the one thing she's done for me throughout everything is she lets my family see my son like my mom gets my son and my dad gets him and my sisters will get him you know throughout the year whatever which is amazing.
Speaker: And it sucks for me because I get to see him grow up through pictures from my mom or this, that, and the other. But at the same time, even when I could have him when she lived up here, I was never there. I mean, I was there physically. Mentally, I was never there because I was either too tired or I was drunk off my ass 100 % of the time.
Speaker: So I had to make that decision, you know, like, do I want to try to continue to be in my son's life or would it just be best if I reach out to him when he's old enough that I can sit down and try to explain things to him if he even wants to hear it, you know? And that's, that was like the hardest thing on me because that right there, just having to do that was detrimental to me physically, mentally, emotionally on a lot of aspects.
Speaker: And people, a lot of people have said, well, well, you could still see you. You're right. I could, but the kid has no clue who I am. He knows who my parents are and, you know, stuff like that. But as far as his dad goes, whenever she moved, I think he was eight months old. I'd seen him probably four times in that eight months because of work. And it just, I don't want to,
Speaker: Confusing because I think so he was born in 17 so he'd be Seven so yep, seven years old now, you know, and it just wouldn't be fair to him in my opinion You know, like I don't want to just come into his life But anytime I could get him me and his mother well, I say me and his mother his mother um
Speaker: would start screaming and yelling at me every time I picked him up or dropped him off, over nothing. Like literally, I would walk in the door or I'd knock on her door, she'd open it, she'd give me my boy and then she would just start screaming at me. And it's like, I don't want him growing up thinking that I'm a bad dude because she screams and yells at me all the time over half the time it was stuff I didn't even do
Speaker: But she was diagnosed bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder and stuff like that as well. And she never did anything to keep that in check herself. So anytime she had outburst or any of that going on, it was localized on me. Well,
Speaker: I would just work more. I would drive home really slow that way. All I had to do when I got home was go to bed. It was easier for me that way, I guess. I don't know. And then after that, I became a raging alcoholic. And literally, I would sit in my garage from the time I'd get off work to the time I had to go to work drinking beer after beer.
Speaker: I could honestly say it's a miracle that nothing bad ever happened while I was driving a truck, drunk all the time. Um, I don't do that. It's not recommended at all. But I did, I did it for five years straight. I always had carried a 12 pack of beer in my lunchbox with me just so I could maintain the buzz. That's a big lunchbox.
Speaker: Uh, it was, it, yeah, no, I had a big enough lunchbox. I can carry a 12 pack of beer and a few sandwiches and some snacks. Well, that's all I'm selling you guys. And I've said it out here, you know, when, when I was going through that, that time period of my life, I had a cooler, you know, I, I kept the cooler because I did the exact same thing you're talking about. Came back from the time I woke up until I passed out and whatever the God, whenever the hell that was.
Speaker: I had, I had a drink in my hand. I had a beer or a bottle of liquor or something. Um, you know, but that was that slap in the face or that eye opener that, that for me was when my ex -wife told me she was pregnant with my oldest one. And I don't know, it was kind of like a light switch. Um, you know, light switch went on and it was like, you know what? I lost control of this monster a long time ago. And somehow I'm still here and breathing and kicking.
Speaker: Um, let me, let me rein it back in and get control of it again. And yes, I still drink to this day. I'm not, you know, um, but the difference between then and now, and I think you could say the same thing came back as, uh, you know, I have, I have control. Yeah. Uh, and, and I think that's how a lot of addicts, you know, when you're addicted to something, you lose that control.
Speaker: And I'm no expert. This is just my opinion. This is just my personal opinion. I think when you're an addict, I think you lose control in that monster, that addiction monster takes over all control. And it sucks because you don't know how to function without it. I was a functioning alcoholic, which sounds like you were as well. A lot of times people had no idea that I
Speaker: You know, that I was hammered out of my mind. Yeah. And that's no shit. Like I could walk a straight line. I could, I, and like I said, I don't condone it anymore. Like I, it's not, I'm not a huge fan of it and I don't do it. If I drink one beer, I sit at home, you know.
Speaker: Like I'm not going to drive anywhere because I've got two, two reckless drivings under my belt now from piss poor decisions, leaving bars and shit like that. And my eye opening moment was when my ex -wife said that, you know, she was pregnant with our daughter and right then and there, I've literally had a mental breakdown in our living room floor at like three 30 in the morning. And like, it was.
Speaker: the fifth
Speaker: I made that decision. And like I said, now, I mean, the other weekend, you know, you guys saw me drink a six pack of beer and get all fucking loopy and doopy and shit on it, you know, but that's, that's about all I drink anymore. You, you'll be lucky to catch me drinking more of the six pack, you know? Um, I mean, I could, I could still throw them back as, as we all know. I mean, I can still throw them back, you know, but there's a big difference between, you know, a Saturday night now and a Saturday night back then.
Speaker: Saturday night never ended back then. Every day was a Saturday night, you know what I mean? You know, I still get up Sunday mornings or, you know, Sunday early afternoon ish. That's the great thing about my kids being older, Connor, one day you'll get their brother.
Speaker: Um, they can get up and make their own breakfast. That'll be the day. Okay. Okay. I just want to point something out the way his hair is right now. He reminds me off the guy from word, the Millers. And he's like, I'm looking for a haircut. And he's pointing to the guy's like pointing to his head. He's like, yeah, that one. Absolutely. I agree. Rich.
Speaker: and only I'm not addicted to podcasting. I'm addicted to success. I mean, I'm addicted to blow it up and being fucking successful and. Wait, you're successful. Popular, but I was going to say, then why are you on here? Look, you all do. First of all, Connor, fuck you. Success is on a spectrum. That's right. Just like this. Yeah.
Speaker: look, we all do charity like charity work in our life. You know, this is this is me. I have to do community service and do a podcast with the likes of Connor and Jarvis and Jeff. Facts on facts. I want to hear from Jarvis tonight. He's been quite
Speaker: been very quiet in the corner. Can't we fucking ask Connor like, Hey Connor, how's your day? How are you doing, buddy? I already told you how my fucking day is going, Jarvis. I've already fucking told you. I always feel bad when people call on me. I will stab you right now.
Speaker: You know what, I put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into the last three years of nonsensical nonsense. A lot of broadcasting hours, fireman rates, you're not wrong. A lot of growth.
Speaker: with deciding to create the network. And even though the network that is being created right now, three of the four shows are hosted by me. I love it. I'm enjoying it. I'm having so much fun with it. And right now, there's big things going on. There's big things coming up I can't talk about yet. Some things I'll be talking about very soon. But at the end of the day, it's all 100 % been worth it.
Speaker: And not only that, but it is also been one of the best things for my mental state, my mental wellbeing, getting my head cleared sometimes. It's been times where we've come on the bike. And I've told Jeff, I got, I got, I got a lot on my mind. I got to talk. And Jeff's like, let's go. I'm right here. And this is back in the early days. I mean, even now there's been times where Connor's like, Hey, I got it.
Speaker: I got this on my mind, bro. All right. Stage is yours or other hosts that we've had, or other co -hosts that we've had on the show, uh, from Mike to Tony or, or whatever. Hey, if you need to stage to stage as yours, you know, uh, you know, doing this show, allowing, you know, guys like blazing and K mag to come up. Um, we've had Hoss on the show, uh, even connor and Jarvis themselves, putting them, putting the spotlight on them and letting them just.
Speaker: get out, you know, this is this is great. You know, this is what I wanted. And so yes, addicted to podcasting, you may be in a way by broadcasting hours, maybe in a way. But ultimately, I'm chasing down a dream. And that's, you know, you know, my kids are good. I'm in a healthy relationship for the first time ever, I think.
Speaker: Uh, you know, my kids live with me. I got a good job and I get to podcast and not only that, but I get to podcast with people that I, that I call not only friends, but brothers. And we get to make more friends along the way. So this is a hell of an addiction. I'll take this addiction over some of the other addictions at the end of the day. That's right. But speaking of which, um,
Speaker: I do want to ask K mag one thing and then I'll let K mag flip it on Jarvis. You said, did you say you're off? You're like, you're not smoking at all anymore? No, or, or you say you're off the weed. No more weed. Well, that was, that was played by his freaking, his background picture.
Speaker: It's a pissed off Viking in the background. I was always wondering, but Viking's got 20 years. Is it a Vulcan Viking? Well, it's a demonic Viking, actually. It's for my streaming profile for Twitch. Gotcha. Gotcha. Yeah. Yes. Yes.
Speaker: I've totally clicked the lead, at least for now, until maybe I'm 65, sitting on the front porch in a rocking chair. So like I said, I needed to refocus. With that being said, I'm going back to college here soon. So I'm definitely looking forward to that. So a good focus. I'm going to get my bachelors.
Speaker: fine arts did digital digital photography to be exact. So let's go. I was gonna ask you to the other night. Did you ever get those pictures I see? I think I did. I don't know Saturday night shenanigans. I'm pretty that ass Mark. But champion Mark is chasing that ass. So so so what what I'm hearing is
Speaker: fine arts bachelor degree in digital photography. I'm hearing promotional pictures and promotional. Who to go to now? You know, while I'm going through college, I'll probably be doing a lot of freebies so I can build my portfolio. I will hit you up or you can hit me up. Give me a little bit before I start and stuff. Yeah, we can do something. Not a problem. Gentlemen, not a problem.
Speaker: street boys style cover for a nonsensical nonsense photo shoot. And I'm just here to say I want it that way. Tell me why I never had to hear you say I want it that way.
Speaker: That's cool. That's actually really cool, you know, going back to college and, you know, I was I was I was crazy about that because I thought that's what you said earlier is that, you know, you weren't spoken anymore, which, you know, I'm a big proponent of medicinal recreational. It is what it is. As long as you you know, you're able to, you know, contribute to society and, you know, work and take care of your family and stuff like that.
Speaker: You know, that's, that's all that matters. I mean, there's, there's people out there that literally can't drag themselves off the couch from playing video games because all they want to live off of mommy and daddy and get high all the time. So a lot of my, a lot of my use was avoidance and basically escapism. So, and I've reached, I, with the help of therapy and stuff, I'm convinced to myself that now in my life, I just don't need it. Yeah.
Speaker: Oh, you're just Brian because you lost. But let's be honest, those picks you made weren't working out for you. Yeah, no. I'm talking to me. No, I'm Brian. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm not keeping up. Even for Wednesday Jarvis. I know. I'm just like, you know, you're blazing. Use this. Long time no see. What a man.
Speaker: be good. Thank you, Rich. I appreciate you. Now, so it sounds like from where you were, I don't know what a year or so ago to where you are now, you're, you're in a couple of years, five more than a year for sure. Yeah. I think, um, I left Oregon in September of 2022. So yeah, it's been about, yeah, about a year and a half or so. Yeah.
Speaker: I get messages from time to time on Instagram from a couple of people. So if you're listening or you ever hear this, I want to say thank you for reaching out. I appreciate it.
Speaker: Sorry. My son's here. They just got back from their moms this weekend and it was WrestleMania weekend and he's becoming a big wrestling fanatic as I have Cody Rhodes here on my desk staring at me while we do the show. And he's having a match over there on the bed discussing Raw tonight with me. So my kids have no care that I was still like,
Speaker: This is this is why this is why you'll get your own studio one day. Yeah. I'm gonna pull a Jeff and put a lock on it. It'll be like Fort Knox to get into it. I have one of those signs on the front or the outside of the door that says live or not live. Yeah. Podcasting leave the food at the door.
Speaker: But no, man, it's awesome to hear you're doing better. Every day is one step. And I think for all of us, every day is one step closer to being better in processing and dealing with things. Unfortunately, for you Jarvis,
Speaker: blazing kind of put kind of put you on the spot. You know you don't have to go into all the crazy full detail or anything like that again or anything. Okay, so you want to know blazing. Hold on it just for some reason it froze and all you guys drop like a half a minute so you're gonna have to repeat that.
Speaker: I just said that Jarvis is kind of getting put on the spot from Blaze and I told him, I said, what's going on, man? Basically, what's going on in your world? Where are you at right now without going into, you don't have to go into full detail. So I was going to get, I know four of us seem to all be all in about the same generation and you're a lot younger. I was wondering, what affects you?
Speaker: Well, Connor's younger than I am. Oh, I'm sorry, Connor. I apologize. Oh, you don't have to. I'm not offended. The beard. The beard throws it off. Connor's only 26. Okay. What, 32 Jarvis? 31. 31. I actually thought Jarvis was younger than that. I apologize. I appreciate that. I appreciate that, boys. And K -Bag's about to fuck all of us up and be like, I'm only 19, guys.
Speaker: 19 on my floor divorce. 19. It's been a rough 19 years, gentlemen. Married at 12. Wrong girl. Fuck you, Mark. I'm not fucking 60, you fucking hobo. That came and call you fucking Sasquatch. You hobo. Jesus. Can you say some real words? So, what we have... No, words on Earth.
Speaker: Well, what we have learned about Jarvis or what I've learned about Jarvis in recent weeks is he suffers from a very bad case of turrets. What? No, I don't know what you're talking about. Fuck, what? Yeah. Every other word is fuck. Shut up, Connor. Play video games with Steven. You swear to God you're playing with somebody.
Speaker: who had Tourette's. Thank you. Thank you, Mark. Thank you. No, it's more like a 15 -year -old who just learned how to say cuss words. Facts on facts. But no, blazing, whatever you want to know, you can always ask. Oh, no, just in general, man. It was nothing specific. I mean, you were just real quiet the entire time and very respectful.
Speaker: one of the
Speaker: Burn them, or as Monty Python says, you know, if they can pull a light wood, then, you know, they must be built of ducks or some shit like that. But Jarvis does have, you know, but what, you know, out the red -headed thing, Jarvis does have a very old soul. Kick my ass, Connor. I think you mean kiss my ass, Connor.
Speaker: I was about to say, there's no shot. I couldn't kick your ass or you sat down on my foot, all right? Jarvis does have a very old soul. I think that is part of his upbringing, the people that he grew up with. And correct me if I'm wrong, Jarvis, but also, this is just my kind of opinion from what I've heard from Jarvis. And you can feel, please elaborate on it more.
Speaker: Travis didn't have an easy upbringing and an easy life when he was younger. So I feel like he was forced to grow up a little bit faster than most people. Well, I mean, as I've said earlier, and even on the trauma thing, I didn't know who my real father was until I was in third grade because my mom decided, hey,
Speaker: Steven's had a good enough life already. Why not let's throw the proverbial powder keg and lit match on it. So I found out that my real father had kind of coaxed my mom into an extramarital affair, robbing me of what I could have had as a normal life.
Speaker: He found out he was having a kid and decided that after I was born to take off. So my brother's dad, who was kind of like an adoptive dad to me, took me in as a baby and raised me as his own, kind of, you know, had told my mom early on, you know, like, let's let Stephen have a normal life or at least attempt to. And when I found out about, you know, my real father, Ernie, it was kind of just like,
Speaker: You know, um, my mom didn't know how to handle how I was reacting at home because like I, I cut off. I pretty much said, you know, in my mind where it was just like, I didn't talk to anyone. My teachers at school were getting worried because like they'd ask a question. I was just like, I just sit back and just go like, what do you want me to fucking or not swear, but it's like, what do you want me to say? You know?
Speaker: And so then was having principal involved, having teachers involved. And then it was told to my mom, well, why don't you get them into therapy? And the first time I went through therapy, it was kind of just like, they probably just gave the guy a PhD and said, here, make your money because he just sat there and said, dude, you're in third grade. What, what do you have that's wrong in your life? You know, so then I was like, yeah. And then, uh,
Speaker: you know later on my mom was very abusive not only to my older brother but to me and then uh you know once graduating from high school it was kind of just like fuck you know what am i supposed to do now and then it was just basically up until a few years it was just punching the clock you know and luckily met a along the way met a great woman that you know um
Speaker: Should have seen a couple of signs and probably no one would have blamed her if she would have left, you know, like always says I ever tied up in the basement, which, you know. Hey, honey, how are you doing over there? Do you need any food or anything? Shut up, Connor. I've seen that fucking wall heater. You've got her chained to get dirty bastards. I mean, seeing as how my wife's just sitting over here, make sure you keep the bolts tied to the wall. This thing can come off.
Speaker: right? Right. Make sure you hit a stud. Those anchors don't do **** Yeah. I was going to say, one thing that's really like mentally disturbing Jarvis right now is his one light. Why? Okay. You only have one light, Jarvis. I'll be honest. I'm confused. Yeah, still in my
Speaker: Yeah. But anyway, just it was great to meet Alyssa. Not so great to meet her mother. But you know, you take the good with the bad.
Speaker: Like I told Alyssa, I said, you know, never thought, you know, being with her for seven, now almost eight years and being married for almost two now that one, I'd have a woman that would be like, hey, you know, even though you've had these things go on in your life, you know, you're still a decent human being. I mean, Glick and Connor always tell me, you know, behind the scenes how much of a piece of shit.
Speaker: You know, it's just great to meet some of the great people like K Meg and Dalton and blazing and Connor and Glick, you know,
Speaker: We all joke around, you know, a lot of them, you know, talk shit about, you know, one light, you know, they don't know behind the scenes that I'm having my mother -in -law power, you know, pushing that bike pedal just a little bit more. Hoping, you know. Got her locked inside of a hamster wheel. Exactly. Thank you, Connor. I just want to say, I don't think you're a piece of shit, Jarvis. I think you, with all the red hair and stuff, you're a bloody piece of shit.
Speaker: Hey, facts on facts. When Glick asked me, which I was very honored that Glick and Connor even wanted me to be a part of the show, it was just like,
Speaker: As Glick knew, I had to ask my wife if I was even ready because, you know, dealing with the numerous therapists and then of course, hey, you know, try this. Hey, you know, try this. Oh, that ain't working. Try this. And then, you know, now having a psychiatrist and going back to therapy, it's just, it was one of those things where it was like, I told Glick that I was like, okay, I'll do it, but just know I'm going to unload a lot of shit.
Speaker: that's been there for many years that a lot of people are just like, oh dude, you know, just start drinking or just deal with it. We don't want to hear it, you know, type shit. And it was just like, luckily enough, I didn't go down the path. My brother did, but you know, I'm very proud of him because he, he turned his life around from where he was at. And as I, you know, have heard from not only you blazing, but K mag and Connor and Glick and a bunch of other people that, you know,
Speaker: It's what we deal with doesn't define who we are. It's just those hurdles in life that we're trying to get through in order to figure out who we truly are. Because I mean, some of us, we know who we are. Others of us, you know, we don't. I mean, most people would probably think, Oh, hey, you know, Steven lives a wonderful life outside of this. But to be honest, I look forward to this, or I look forward to when, you know, I hang out with K mag or
Speaker: you know, blazing or Connor Glick, just doing this, it gives you a reason to wake up sometimes in the morning and be like, Hey, you know, I'm a part of something. Having a, having a supportive community is a good thing. I think, I think, I think that's one thing, you know, I'm going to say this and then I'm going to catch backlash for it. So go ahead.
Speaker: I think that's one of the things that I do kind of pat myself on the back about and I do, it is kind of an ego stroke is over the last few months I have been able to put together a little community of very supportive people to finally find that outlet and finally find that community of people who are going to support each other, not only doing this show, but just in general in the podcasting world who actually stand by what they say when they say that they want to support each other and uplift each other.
Speaker: and be there for each other. I think every the last couple months, I've started to put that together and it continues to grow. We're not only in the podcasting world, but into the musical world. Blakey is part of that musical world. Rock Lee's coming on board more often. There's a community of us that are actually really saying, my grandfather always used to tell me, say what you do and do what you say.
Speaker: That's something that I was just always, I can't stand people who are like, you know, we, we have this community and we have to support each other, blah, blah, blah. But you're the biggest voice and the loudest voice in the room. But you're not even doing the things that you want other people to do. Like, you know, I'm very proud of that. And I do want to, I do kind of pat myself on the back and say, Hey, good job, man. And still not drinking the Kool -Aid. Smart man, smart man.
Speaker: It's good Kool -Aid, though. Just try and sit. Just try and sit. There might be a little bit of poison in there. I am very, very proud of the community that we have with, you know, Talking Shit and Jarvis and the guys that are on my shows and our outside friends that watch the show. And, you know, we got blazing to come out of the closet, finally. Not that way, but... I know what you mean. I know what you mean.
Speaker: Well, maybe a little bit of. We're still working on that. It's OK, well, he's just the tip, buddy, just just. He came out, but but no, I mean, and Jarvis, I've told Jarvis a million times, you know, from where he was when I first when we first met, he was a guest on our show. We interviewed him where he is today. I'm super proud of him. I'm super fucking proud of him. You know, I tell he's a part of.
Speaker: the whole week's worth of shows now and not necessarily mind doing that was Connor's doing. So if anybody don't like it, you can yell at Connor. Connor sees talent, you know, he sees talent where, you know, I saw a punching bag. That's getting sick of using Jeff. This is getting it was getting boring. Thanks, Rich. Have a good night, my man. Hey, man. Cheers to you, Rich. Appreciate you.
Speaker: Ciao for now. See you later, alligator. You don't have to have a penis to believe in what we're doing here. You know, I do. That was the most surprising thing when it came to this show. Some of the support that we've gotten from, from, from female listeners. You know, I'm not going to sit here and read.
Speaker: every comment or every message or anything like that. But, you know, there's surprisingly a lot of women that are watching the show and enjoy or listening to the replays and like what we're doing here. I know I've had a few of my friends that have introduced their husbands to our show, which is super cool. Or their brothers or even their dads. I grew up with her dad messaged me and was like, Hey, you know, I don't
Speaker: Really watch podcasts or know what podcasts are. But, um, I was told to watch this one and I, and I really like it. Uh, you know, cause he's of an older generation and, and, and a lot of men. And that's the great thing is when you have the real conversations and the real men that are actually not doing this for views or likes or cloud or anything like that, we're just trying to heal and be there for each other. Uh, you know,
Speaker: and break that stigmatism, it's going to open a lot of eyes and they're going to, and it's going to, even the older generations that that is watching. Um, and you know, cause they're part of the, they're part of that vicious cycle. Unfortunately that our generation, um, and, and Connor's generation, I gotta say Connor's generation, because I guess he's at a different generation than us.
Speaker: We we are tasked to start to break that cycle start to put chips In that and that armor of that vicious cycle, you know and raise our sons up with a different mentality with a different Outlook on life and and that it doesn't you know, you're not weak because you show emotion or You know or anything like that I've said it on here, you know my son and I watched
Speaker: uh guardians of the galaxy volume three and we got done watching it and he was like i seen you crying over there a couple times i was like i wasn't crying all right i said there were tears in my eyes yes a few of them escaped but that was a sad movie man i don't know if you guys are marvel fans or comic book fans i was a huge comic book fan
Speaker: And that broke my heart watching the story of Rocket, man. I already knew it was coming because I read the comics, but it still broke my heart watching it on the big screen. And I said, I see you crying too. But I asked him, I said, do you think that makes anything that makes me any weaker? He's like, I wouldn't tell anybody to fight you.
Speaker: I'm trying to let him know it's okay to be sad. It's okay to cry It's you know, it's okay. If a movie touches you and plucks it your heartstrings a little bit. It's all right. We're human beings We're not fucking robots Or as Jarvis says facts on facts facts on facts I'm just gonna give that to you Jarvis or you can have it
Speaker: Thanks. You claim that one, buddy. You claim that one. Hey, new merch over at the Jarvis podcast. Facts on facts. Actually, I thought that was Jarvis' little catchphrase. I always do. It was fucking licks and I just. I always contributed to him, so. Connor was saying it. I was saying it. I think Jeff said it maybe once or twice, maybe. When do I say facts on facts? When do I ever say? I'm sorry. When does Connor ever say anything? I was going to say, we're just. He's coming from K mag.
Speaker: You're gonna talk to me about never saying anything. We are coming up on another break.
Speaker: When we come back from, when we come back from break, I, you know, I want to ask specifically, uh, blazing and K mag, but you know, we can get, we can get, we can get us all involved. Um, and I've asked this question before, so it's kind of redundant, but you know, it is what it is. I want to, you know, ask the question. Especially for the, you know, as we, as we have guests on the show and stuff like that. But I want to ask you guys, I want to talk to you guys when we come back from break about.
Speaker: Um, you know, we're, obviously we're doing, we're, we're doing the therapies where we're, we're talking about things where we're growing, we're becoming better. Um, you know, mentally, um, you know, we're doing the things we're supposed to be doing. Uh, but I want to ask you guys as far as, because again, like I said, we all know that not only in order to have your mind, right. You got to have your body, right. Yeah.
Speaker: what kind of activities you like to get into it. I know blazing, you kind of touched on it with your hiking and stuff like that, but also what other outlets you have to kind of help, uh, get your mind right, clear your mind, uh, to help you on this road that we're on, uh, to get better, uh, and whatnot. So, uh, we'll do that when we come back. We are going to take another real quick break. Um, as we know, when you deal with these mental issues, sleep is not always our friend.
Speaker: I am a, uh, I know Connor and I've talked about it. Um, you know, Lord knows I've been a functional insomniac for the better part of my life. But fortunately there are people out there. There are things out there that are going to help you get through the day. If you are dragging a little bit of ass, if you don't sleep so well the night before, I'd like to direct you guys to our friends over at W energy. The great thing about W energy is unlike the other energy drinks that are out there. There's no crash.
Speaker: You know, uh, that's a downfall with, uh, with some of these big name energy drinks, you drink one in an hour later, you're, you're hitting a wall at a hundred miles an hour. So you have to drink another one and then another one. And then another one, and before you know it, you've drank four or five of them to get through the day. And you look like a crack head down on the corner shaking for your next hit. Those are what we call the red bull. And I need that red bull or you end up 26 with hypertension.
Speaker: Yeah. It's always good in an advertising way. W W energy is, uh, they're going to, they're going to take those crashes and those jitters away from you. Not only that, but they actually taste good. Unlike other energy drinks. They honestly, they taste, they all taste the same. They taste like, they taste like the ass of a meth head that's been dead for a week. Let's be honest. I don't want to know how you know that. I have so many questions. I wonder if that flavor is really that equivalent.
Speaker: you know, you know, I've lived a hard life. I've done things I'm not proud of. The energy actually has really good flavors. You're gonna find something to enjoy. I recommend you guys go ahead and try out Dragonade. That's one of my favorites. Also, it doesn't sound good. But I promise you, it is delicious. dubsludge. You can check those all out at w .gg use our promo code words are hard when you shop
Speaker: at the energy. I lost my train of thought when you shop just redo. It's just Debbie. Yeah, words are hard. promo code words are hard at w .gg. Just fucking forget the last three minutes of everything I said. The train 100 % fucking derailed. He's got me. Do you be be why?
Speaker: uh let's see what i want to do here today let's do you know what uh i'm gonna do this cover of uh this cover here that's been hanging out i don't know if i played it or not i got this cover uh by um fuck man i've just completely derailed over here tonight guys i apologize
Speaker: Maybe he needs a dubby. This is a cover by Youth Never Dies and Project Vila, and it is their cover of Papa Roach's Last Resort. I'll be back here in just a few minutes. Cut my life into pieces. This is my last resort. Suffocation, no breathing. Don't give a fuck if I cut my own breathing.
Speaker: Cut my life into pieces I've reached my last resort Suffocation, no breathing Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding Do you even care if I die bleeding? Would it be wrong, would it be right? If I took my life tonight Chances off that I might Mutilation out of sight
Speaker: I never realized I was spread too thin Till it was too late and I was empty within Hungry, speeding on chaos and living in sin That would spiral where do I begin It all started when I lost my mother No love for myself and no love for another Searching to find a lover on a higher level Fighting nothing but questions and troubles I'm losing my size, losing my mind When somebody wouldn't tell me
Speaker: Cut my life into pieces This is my last resort Suffocation, no breathing Don't give a fuck if I cut my own breathing Can't say I'm losing my side Losing my mind, no reason
Speaker: I'm living this way
Speaker: Welcome back to men camp for men, everybody. Appreciate y 'all hanging out tonight. Hopefully you're enjoying the show. We got a special. Blazing in K mag in the building, hanging out with us. So we got the usual suspects here as well. My co -host. Hey, Connor's in the building and you guys don't be, I'm Glick doing what I do. Hanging out with these guys, having a good time or a good conversation. If you're not already.
Speaker: Check out the social media. We are on all social media platforms. You can also follow or hang out with us live, get in the chatters box. It's always open. We do encourage you guys to be there engaging with the show and taking part of the conversation.
Speaker: Uh, we do this at 7 PM ish on Facebook, YouTube, and Twitch. And you can also listen wherever you listen to podcasts and on all podcast platforms, all at nonsensical nonsense. It's part of the network. Or you can simply ruin right on over to bio .link slash nonsense nonsense. All those links are there including the links to our sponsors like liquid IV, your hydration destination, liquid IV .com shop better hydration today.
Speaker: Debbie that Gigi, your energy drink. It's going to get you energized and focused and ready for your day ahead of you. And last but not least, Zincaster, the all in one super easy podcasting destination for all your podcasting needs. Zincaster .com slash pricing use promo codes. Words are hard across the board. You're going to get your savings, get your discounts, and nobody is going to be mad at saving a little bit of money and getting a little discount. We got you hooked up. Holler if you hear me.
Speaker: Quick question. It's liquid IV in their website is WGG. Yeah. W .GG. Okay. Yeah. So W N a W is the W energy and then liquid IV is the hydration, uh, liquid IV .com. Yeah. Two, gotcha. Gotcha. Okay. Two different companies, liquid IV and then W energy. Oh, okay.
Speaker: Hopefully one day to have a nonsensical nonsense energy drink just saying We're trying to get a nonsensical nonsense combo on Brian's wife's food truck Okay, we'll just quick put that in the energy drink
Speaker: go get you fired up and round up and ready to go. But now welcome back to men cam for men. We've been we've been talking with K mag and blazing tonight, you know, they shared a little bit about themselves. I would love to have the guys back on the show another time for regular conversation and to also get to know them a little bit more as well. But
Speaker: You know, K mag talked about, uh, you know, going through dealing with alcoholism, uh, you know, the various other things that come with life in general, divorces and stuff like that. Uh, blazing, you know, he's currently recently found out, um, you know, being diagnosed with a BPD, right? Yeah. And that's, um,
Speaker: Sorry, I'm sorry. Borderline personality disorder. So I wanted to ask you guys as you know, here in this last hour, I wanted to ask you guys, you know, when you find yourselves kind of having a bad day or maybe a rough week or whatever the case may be, what are some of the things that you guys do to kind of help
Speaker: push through or, or get through them. And then we kind of touched on a couple of things. We just kind of touched on it a little bit here and there, but I'd like to hear from you guys because I know everybody's different and it's one of those questions that I kind of want to ask people as we, as we progress and go on, uh, you know, because maybe something that you guys do might help somebody else down the road as well. I mentioned meeting a guy in therapy and, you know, talking to him and, um, uh, you know, things that he told me and, and, and taught me help have helped me.
Speaker: So if you don't mind, K -Mag, I'd like to just start with you. What are some of the things that kind of help you when you're in a dark spot, maybe having a rough spell, if you will? Either his mic is muted or? Yeah, I don't hear. Yeah, it was. There you go. That was my bad. I was saying either his mic's muted or I went completely deaf.
Speaker: Now, so it all depends for me, like, like, say I fall into like, a slumming moment or dark moment, like, while I'm at work or something like that, which happens quite frequently for me. You know, at the end of the night, when we're done for the day, all I'll grab my dog, we might go walk.
Speaker: You know, like some of the truck stops we park at or kind of out in the country, you know, they're not necessarily in cities and shit like that. So we can walk a few miles, you know, and come back. Um, but when I'm at home, like on my week off or something like that, generally speaking, um,
Speaker: Some of the things I like to do to take my mind away from those dark places is I like streaming. Streaming has always been a passion of mine for a long time. I dabbled in it a few years ago and got out of it because I didn't feel like it was going anywhere. And then here recently, I made the affiliation on Twitch. What was the Jarvis last year? Yeah, something like that. Because you've got affiliate
Speaker: like a month after me, I think, maybe even a few weeks after me, I'm not quite sure. Yeah. And, uh, no, Leggy, no Luby Wanks. It's CWC, Leggy. Let's come on. Get this right. Cry, wank, cry. Yeah, that's right. Or if you're really professional, it's wanking while crying. Cry, wank, cry, repeat. Repeat cycle.
Speaker: that's good. Rinse and repeat. But uh the pages are my playboys stick together because the tears guys. Yeah, that's right. Sure. Let's go with that. I think you're a little bit older but I'd like to introduce you to this thing called the internet. Uh I'll drive down there and I'll I'll I'll show you the
Speaker: the the the the the
Speaker: So one thing I found helpful for me was like, I used to do a lot of Grand Theft Auto 5M and I used to be on like the role play servers and stuff like that. And a lot of my characters driven emotions in the game were actually stuff that I was dealing with in real life. Like I just brought them into a virtual world to say, you know,
Speaker: But yeah, I know. And play with my daughter. My daughter is a huge part of my life. And as soon as we get off here, we're going to go play kickball in the living room, because that sounds safe. Dammit, another window. Use a baseball. Use a bowling ball. Right, right. But no. Those are some of the things I enjoy doing, to get my mind off things.
Speaker: They seem to help over the years and throughout, so. Oh, good god, Leggy. I would buy that in a heartbeat. Oh, yeah, I would own like stock in that company. We've already gotten investors. We've already gotten investors. Welcome to the news. It's a lubricant. How can I help you today?
Speaker: We already came up with our own condom brand on last Saturday's podcast. So I mean, hey, we're going to be making this. How many would you like to order today? You're welcome, porn industry. Next will be a non -sense, we call it non -sense only fans. We already kind of have one of those.
Speaker: Thank you, Steven, for the hard right turn. You indulged her. I think Liggy's more perverted than us. I'm not saying that in a bad way.
Speaker: See, the numbers has to do with something called an algorithm. They don't like us very well because we talk about shit. We don't filter or edit. Yeah, pretty much. Somebody says something slightly offensive and we're like, send it, make it worse.
Speaker: And the internet's branded Kleenex. As as as Blaison said, Saturday night tissues for my issues. So my issues everywhere. I could see Connor with the fucking nonsense called nonsense lube. When you want lube that actually works. Nonsensical nonsense. And don't forget about the cleanup afterwards.
Speaker: Yes, I was going to say those Kleenexes you can use for tears and. The name of the Kleenex is Cry Wank Cry. Clean off the laptop. Yes. Wipe your excess children away.
Speaker: What is the word for our spokesperson? Spokesperson, not spokesperson. She's going to be the CEO for for the nonsense. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. She's going to be the person that like makes our our brand or our ship marketing. He's going to do all our all our legit stuff, all our logistics, logistics. And then no, our actual products are she's going to market them and then we'll have Jeff market all the gag gifts.
Speaker: OK, there we go. Thank you, Connor. By Jeff, you mean me? Sure. No, I said the gag gifts. That that would be everything with it. Jeff, Jeff tried that. Yeah, we don't we don't count on Jeff for anything more than showing up on Wednesdays and Saturdays. I mean, I mean, let's to be fair, Connor did show up on me for Connor did show up puked five times on one show and Jeff didn't even appear that whole week.
Speaker: So fair, I just missed almost all of last week, not including the five minutes that I was on on one show. You met you met one week. OK, sorry, Connor. To be fair, to be fair, to be fair, that's that's my line. Who's line is it in on Alyssa? Capia, that's a good idea.
Speaker: Did you just shake your pants? We heard it on the podcast. I think she did. I will take your advice to consideration. I'll bring it up to my board at the next board meeting, Capio. I appreciate you. Who's on that board? You, me, Jeff, Steven, and possibly two other people.
Speaker: Uh, me and a, and a 12 pack of Miller light is on that board. I was about to say, the only person on that board is fucking. The board consists of me, a 12 pack of Miller light and my championship belt.
Speaker: You never behave like you, let's be honest. And that's why you, you behave. It's just not, it's not the behavior we were looking for. We did an episode on trauma and I think we, we, you know, we, we had the conversations talk about trauma, but I think we had more laughs.
Speaker: jokes in that in that show than anything else because At the end of the day, let's be honest part of healing part of your mental health and part of your healing is to be able to laugh and sometimes you have to be able to laugh at yourself, but It looks like that kangaroo that got punched in the nose one time and just popped up Just how I look I can't see just this
Speaker: I was going to say, dude, you got to go back to your door and do the Conor McGregor walk.
Speaker: the fifth
Speaker: Uh, uh, Wednesday night came back. You'll have to make sure you tune in. That's how I'll start the show. I'll do the Conor McGregor walk through the door. No chance that's what you got. Clothes are optional. Hey, at this point, I'll do the walk down the hallway so you guys can see my bare hands.
Speaker: Right. So here's Jarvis. He's going to take his clothes off. He's going to take one pair of pajamas off, reveal another pair of pajamas. What do people have a problem with relaxing? He probably has DC comic pajamas underneath his Marvel comic. I come home from work. I take my work clothes off. I put on sweatpants. I put on basketball shorts. I put on
Speaker: You know, and that's and then and then on the weekends, the only reason I changed my shirt on the weekends is because I do a podcast and I don't want to wear the same shirt. You know, as far as far as anybody knows all you're seeing me wear is a t -shirt. Yeah, that's all. Well, as I make it from the bottom down, we don't know. No, you think you never know. You're thinking of Jeff. He's usually on the shit or anyhow. Yeah, he's been outside a lot lately now.
Speaker: you know, maybe if you show up, you know that. Come on. Let's go. Steven, uh that wobbly stool and short piece of rope you have. Well, I mean, he's going to be if I wanted to do it, I'd do it. All right.
Speaker: Don't worry, Connor, after I'm done with it, my wife can send it to your place. We just need your address. I'm not going to use a used rope. Wednesday night. I'm talking about the wobbly stool, not the rope. Wednesday night, I am starting to show full of piss and vinegar. I'm going to be on one Wednesday night from Jump Street. But that's all another story. Blaison, like I said, I wanted to kind of go around. It's OK if we get sidetracked. Like I said, you know. Some brevity is always nice.
Speaker: Sometimes when we get off track, you know, sometimes we have to on this show because, you know, not that tonight's been super heavy or anything like that, but sometimes we do have some pretty heavy shows.
Speaker: Uh, and it's okay to go off the rails a little bit and joke and have a good time. Um, you know, that's again, like I said, it's part of healing, but I didn't want to ask you blazing because I know you mentioned pulling for your hikes and stuff like that. Uh, what are, what are, what are some of the other things that you do? You know, when you find yourself having a bad day or maybe in a dark place or whatever, because you mentioned, uh, what was it ruminating? Mm -hmm.
Speaker: which I didn't know there was an actual word for that because again, I'm no expert on this shit. I'm just guy who fucking lives who lived it and lives it on a daily basis. And I didn't know there was an actual name for the things. I just call it the hamster wheel starts the hamster wheel of negative. Yeah. You know, there is a word called ruminating. One of the things I like to do is read. I like reading. I think words are fun. They can be hard, but they can also be fun.
Speaker: Um, so yeah, I'll, I like diving into a book. You sound like my nerd fiance. Yes. Yes. I am. I can be a bit, uh, you read my Dexter and if, and if you get me on a roll, I can get pretty loquacious too, but, um, that means, okay. Who does that?
Speaker: I mean, he's rambling on. Right. You could just say that someone actually could. But for me, like questions comes to the tip of my tongue faster anyway. I'm actually. What's that? The strip club last weekend. Honestly, that was exactly what I was thinking, but I was I was going to let him keep talking. So fair. We'll like get us canceled.
Speaker: But I do want to say one thing, not to cut you off, Blazen. No, you're good. Chris already did. My name is actually one big acronym. What is it? Stands for Kiss My Ass Guys. You're on your own. OK. All right. Screw you guys, and I'm going in. What's the 23 for? It's when I started streaming on Twitch. How many guys? Your age or the year?
Speaker: the year. About 22 years. That was that was great. Wait, I got it. Good job, buddy. You got to really reach for that. Over here. Slender man arms he can reach
Speaker: Like to obviously go behind she liked to read is there anything else that you do for you? Sometimes I just like to just chill listen to music watch movies Just said whatever I can do in that moment I know will make me happy to distract me for it from whatever is eating away at me
Speaker: So yeah, yeah, sometimes this right here used to be one of my things was jumping online but that even became a little a little weightful too, but Not not so much anymore. So yeah It has its moments, you know, we we've had the same problem on this show I'll be a hundred percent honest with you. There's times where you know certain
Speaker: individuals would bring other individuals or there was both and it was just like it almost lost its fun. So I totally get what you're saying. Sometimes it's okay if you needed to take a break. Do let let let Jeff kind of steer the train for a little bit.
Speaker: You know how hard it is to get any of these guys to, in all honesty, you know, they'll be here for me. They're great backups. I'll give them that they, they great co -host. Uh, I would actually, my ultimate goal is for Connor to host this show. Well, when I said that Connor was looked at me like a deal in the headlights and went, what?
Speaker: Well, you hadn't discussed it with me prior to that show and then you were just like, Oh yeah, my ultimate goal is to, uh, Hey Connor, here you go. Here's your own show. It wasn't like, I was like, Hey Connor, by the way, this is your show now. No, it was just out of the, out of, uh, the blue for me. That's the goal down the road, you know, and then.
Speaker: You know, I'll still be around to help out and do whatever I can. As far as the hosting role goes, I'm going to still be here co -hosting with him. You know, I've got his back, but I, you know, ultimately I would like for it to be his show and, and him to do his things. You know, I would, I don't think I would ever give up the reins of nonsensical nonsense.
Speaker: But I, you know, if it was like a Wednesday night, I could probably give up the reins on Wednesday night and then take back and go on Saturday. I would love to be able to do that. Fortunately, you know, in the right mindset or have any inspiration to do any more than what he does.
Speaker: If you're going to host a show, you also got to handle the social media for that show. And all of our social media is on one page and stuff like that. But, you know, and I slacken that too, because when it comes to the podcasting stuff, you know, I'm trying to get better and trying to be better.
Speaker: No, there's a lot on my plate. But no, like I said, you know, this is, you know, you said it Saturday night, you said that you would love to come up and be a part of Saturday night shows more often. And I told you flat out, absolutely bottom line doors, always open brother doors. Yes. Yes. I want to, I do want to get more involved in the Saturday night shenanigans. It's fun. So it's a good outlet to just having fun.
Speaker: is something I like to do. Just having fun with friends and cutting up is definitely a good outlet. And that's basically all we do. Every once in a while, one of us might have a topic of conversation. For the most part, it's just fucking hanging out. And people dig it. I didn't ever think that would be a good podcast, but people dig it. People like it. They're watching it. They're listening to it. Maybe we don't have the live viewers that some people think we should have or whatever.
Speaker: the replays of the podcasting platforms, they don't lie. I mean, ultimate goal. That's where we're going to get the attention of, you know, uh, of other people and other things and, and, and other doors and other opportunities are going to open. Um, so I, I totally feel you. I, I don't read a whole lot. You know, I have to be into the topic or the subject. I'm very into like, I'm.
Speaker: heavy into true crime and paranormal and stuff like that. And I enjoy reading those books because, you know, I can get a book that's this thick, but it's literally one story after another, which feeds into my ADHD. You know, I think that's why I don't like to read because I'm not going to read fucking the outsiders because it's 200 pages of the same thing. I'll just go watch the movie.
Speaker: Yeah, I um, I actually dropped off I dropped off from reading for the longest time I just for whatever reason right is a shit going on but I like philosophy and one of my guilty pleasures that I've been more doing lately just so I get back into reading is
Speaker: Fucking love a good zombie novel. Hey battle. I don't know what it is, but zombies amazing She is like I said, she's what keeps me going anyway, how old is she five four? It's a pretty good guess. Yep. Yep She'll be starting school soon. Oh, yeah, she turns five this year timber Mickey all the time because
Speaker: since she's got her Kindle, she's read like, probably she's read like 275 books. I got a, I got a, you know, the best thing about a Kindle is if you're reading a book and you hit a word you don't know, if you click on it and highlight it, it'll pop up the definition. I don't know. Chris needs that. What does befuddled means?
Speaker: the fifth
Speaker: but I tease her because you know, I'm like that name Kendall has become her new boyfriend and I call it Windale the Kindale. Right now, it's in her hand. She's reading. She's reading. She's always reading and I don't understand that man. I like I tease her and call her a nerd. But yeah, some people that's it. That's her thing man. They like to read. You know, well, it helps me. It like it helps me escape to a whole nother
Speaker: And it sounds cliche, but a whole other world. It takes me out of this one, and I'm in somebody else's. And if it's really, yes, I'll even read comics. I love a good graphic novel, man. Graphic novels are one of my favorite. But especially if it's got a character or two that I can really identify with, it makes it even so much better.
Speaker: Oh, you know, I, you know, I grew up, I love comic books. Um, I love the graphic novels. You know, I, I read, I should, I read walking dead before it was ever even a television show. I was so excited when the TV show came out at first, because I read the graphic novels. And then after the first couple of seasons, I'm like, they just went so far from the books that, you know, like I've read the graphic, you know, that.
Speaker: I love the spawn graphic novels when they, you know, the Batman, you know.
Speaker: on nerd for a second you know DC was known for darker edgier comics and they started doing like the Batman and it was the Batman graphic novels which is kind of what they're basing this new movie series off of I really like those but also I'm 42 years old now and I don't know if it's still acceptable for me to
Speaker: I want to start I want to start reading the invincible comics. I've been watching the show and it's just **** bad. One of the writers for that is Robert Kirkman who did The Walking Dead. Yeah. So, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, okay, that's probably why I like it because it has like Robert Kirkman is an amazing writer. I was just
Speaker: Yeah. Smart. He's a smart dude. For sure. Somebody talking about fingering. What? Who put what where and why did we do that? I love when Connor - Why wasn't I invited? He sounded kind of like Matthew McConaughey from Days Been Confused. Nipples. Connor had a little - That movie did not age well.
Speaker: the one days ago as the
Speaker: Yeah, it is very gross. I mean, when it came out, I thought it was hilarious. I sit and look back now. It's like, well, I've actually changed for the better. That's like people now going after John Carpenter for a movie he made back in the 70s. Just because they said, well, I'll tear your clothes off and then we'll tear Lindsay's clothes off. It's like,
Speaker: It was a different time, yes, but at the same time, it depends on the context. It depends on the context. Anyway, I don't want to go into that right now. That's a discussion for another time, which is discussions I like having. Yeah, it's a good Wednesday discussion.
Speaker: I kind of want to keep this going. It's going to be a kind of a callback or as as as we call it on the nonsensical nonsense show. I'll reach around. You know, I'd like to. I love it when I love it when Chris gives those. Yeah, you know, sometimes I'm feeling hey, the perks of the job, right, Connor? I'm a generous lover, alright? Come here, Sasquatch boy.
Speaker: think he says wow from the band wow that's why i think you might want to be nayuda um jarvis you know the same thing to you what are what are some of the things i'm trying to keep it on the tracks here all right
Speaker: I don't know. Like, I think, I think market it right on the head, you know, having an old soul. So like, I listen to a lot of like old music. And of course, the podcast helps it out too. But just putting in my headphones and listening to some Midnight Rider or Soul Shine from the Almond, or not Almond Brothers. Good God.
Speaker: The Almond Brothers who sang fucking that song Midnight Rider Thought it was the pecan sisters Who knows it might be Connor? but no just listening to music and just Get my mind off certain shit sometimes helps. I Got a guilty pleasure of listening to the monkeys man. Oh No
Speaker: There was a band back in the day called the Monkees. Hey Jarvis. It is the Almond Brothers. OK, thank you K mag. You're welcome. You don't worry. Facts on facts, I guess. Mercy, mercy. What else? What else you do Jarvis? I just have to say it. Facts on facts, I guess. Does it work here? I don't know.
Speaker: I feel like there's certain things I can't say on what I do. So I'll leave that for a Saturday show. But yeah, we're not we're not laying out our keys tonight. Yeah, I was going to say, no, no one cares that you kind of like he likes to call me around 2 a .m. and say, bring the rope. I'm going to you can tie me up. It's a quarter after one, Connor. And I need the role. He's like audio and the. And the radical, the radical fixation.
Speaker: Yeah, I forgot what it's called. Doing the David Carradine. That's what I was thinking. Yes. That's what it is. Let's be honest. He doesn't use lube. Because it's a sad wank. You use your tube. Your your tears for lube. Your tubes for lir. Yeah, exactly. lube is for amateurs. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: Thank you. Or as we Americans like to say, the David Carradine approach. I don't know who that is. I can never remember his name. I just remember him as Kung Fu guy. I have a podcast where I talk about the better things of the world. You know, like movies made back in the seventies.
Speaker: the the the
Speaker: the use of the
Speaker: you like to share with the classroom? Or should I be interested? No, I'll keep it mild. I'll keep it serious. I don't know about you guys. Trying to find a way to put it without like going deeper into it. But honestly, I've lost a lot of my original coping mechanisms that were healthy.
Speaker: since my health issues started and so now it's trying to find new stuff and the ability to do that as a stay at home dad going to school doing all this other shit and having lost the ability to use my legs the way I need to use them to be active which needs to be my thing which was like blazing I used to love to go hiking Chris has seen multiple pictures of me hiking in the mountains out in New Mexico
Speaker: I love to camp. I love the outdoors. I love spending time with my kids when they're not being assholes. And yeah, damn straight. Unfortunately, Connor. The kids usually do take after the parents just saying, you know, even if you shut the hell up until you die, your kids are always going to be assholes. But yeah, but they have these moments where they're sweet and they're fun.
Speaker: And like two days ago, like two or three days ago, I was outside playing catch with my son. And he walked up to me afterward and he gave me a hug like unsolicited and just gave me a hug. And he said, I like playing ball with you, dad. Thanks for playing catch. And I was like, that was nice. And then he turns around five minutes later. I don't want to brush my teeth. Your teeth are going to fall. I don't care.
Speaker: Well, I my fucking dental insurance doesn't cover enough for you Well, you know, it's a good thing for him at this moment in time in his life His teeth are all gonna fall out regardless of if he brushes his teeth or not Well, he's already lost three teeth and one of them's already got a cavity in it healthy Great
Speaker: the the
Speaker: Um, no, with, uh, with my legs, I had a spine surgery that was supposed to, uh, help out because I was starting to have numbness in my legs. And, uh, I guess I had a pinched nerve. I mean, nothing crazy. It was a herniated disc and it was supposed to be a real simple surgery. And I had a complication afterwards. And, uh, after my surgery, my, my doctor left, my surgeon just left the fucking hospital and he was like gone for 48 hours.
Speaker: And it took my wife losing her fucking mind because it went from being an outpatient procedure to a, uh, he's, he's going to be admitted and be here for a while. It took her losing her fucking mind for him to come back and say, Oh shit, something's really wrong. Uh, I don't know. He must've had an important dinner. Wow.
Speaker: I don't know. We've been trying for a while. We've actually been trying for a while to sue for it. And we can't get anyone to take my case. But yeah, so he ended up having to do an emergency surgery and drain a hematoma that was compressing my spinal cord. And I've got some lasting nerve damage. And if you don't know nothing about spinal cords, they kind of control everything. And they send all the signals. So I get a lot of
Speaker: I had a lot of issues with just moving my right leg and I have a lot of pain that is residual. That's not going to go away. So it's going to be there for forever. And so I've got to try and figure out new ways to do things, let alone dealing with the mental aspect of losing your, your ability to do those things. Now I got to find new healthy coping mechanisms for the shit that I was already dealing with.
Speaker: And, but that's, that's why I'm going to therapy now is, is trying to figure out new ways to, to take those triggers and the things that cause me problems and, and, and deal with them in a healthy way instead of going, you know, Hey, I'm going to go drink myself into numbness or, or go smoke pot. And the pot actually really helps with, uh, with my nerve pain though. So that, uh, but yeah, it's, it's, it's been a tough ride. Uh, honestly, I don't, I don't have any good coping mechanisms anymore.
Speaker: I've lost a lot of them and I don't know where to go from here. So and I hate reading. Yeah, there's the podcast. That's great. But dude, I got a week, man. I'm alive. I cast every fucking day. Yeah, I can't do it 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Three days. Highlight the comments, Glick.
Speaker: Like yeah, I feel like my mom would love for you to find a surgeon and boot him in the balls Cuz he almost put her into a wheelchair No, I was just talking about ladies last one Like sounds like the doctor needs some ball relocation surgery
Speaker: to his chin, preferably, you know, Peter Griffin, you know, I was thinking he Jackman. Yeah. The old ball chin in that was, that was such a terrible movie was so good at the same time. Um, you know, uh, you're fine. Don't worry about Mondays. Um, no, uh,
Speaker: I was going to tell Connor, everybody can't hear me. I was going to be like, you know, if you want to buy a gas more than three nights a week, we do have an opening on Thursdays and Sundays. We can just cancel promoting some other. Thanks asshole. I'm just kidding. No, I'm not going to be involved. That's Connor. Well, I, you know, I watched, I watched a couple of Jarvis's stuff earlier today. Keep them pretty pithy. They're pretty short and to the point. I'm sorry.
Speaker: no I'm just saying no that's that's your thing dude I'm just saying that's I'm sure I'm sure that that can be worked around with we'll put the Connor show on Thursday night at eight o 'clock and put him up against talking shit I feel like Connor would win that no you guys I mean everything you guys all have like great things you do I mean obviously
Speaker: You have to find the distraction. You have to find the, the, the outlet, uh, to try to make the negative into a positive. So to say, you know, like I said, I, you know, obviously the podcasting thing, I love doing it. Um, I enjoy, uh, coming up live. Um, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's been a long road with this podcasting thing. Um, we're looking at three years.
Speaker: And now after three years, it's like things are finally, like finally starting to happen. Uh, I'm super excited and I'm super stoked, but yeah, I mean, this is, you know, even going way back to Periscope, I love coming on live. I'm not doing it, uh, you know, uh, seven days a week. I'm not doing it, uh, you know, uh, eight, nine, 10 hours a day. You know, I try to,
Speaker: You know have some kind of content Some kind of actual content, but you know, this is my outlet. This is what I like to do. I you know, I enjoyed gaming Started gaming a little bit more lately But It's it's my way to relax. It's it's it's kind of my way to
Speaker: Forget about all the craziness. Um, I don't do it as much as I used to, uh, you know, but going for drives, uh, exercise and going to the gym again. I don't do that as much as I used to. I do need to get back into the gym. Hopefully. Mm. You know, I was hoping to shoot for this week. Uh, you know, unfortunately the joys of, uh, starting new jobs while, you know, like Nikki started a brand new job and.
Speaker: You know, I'm still where I'm at. It's just a brand, just a new company. The, the joys of having to wait for that first paycheck. Uh, so, you know, the focus is elsewhere this week, so I'm not going to be in the gym this week, but I'm hopefully by next week or the following week. Um, I do want to start going back to the gym, you know, working out for me, I'm a, I'm a very routine type of person. Um, I like to do things.
Speaker: you know, kind of the same. Once I hit that routine, it'll take me a couple of days to get that, that routine down. Then it'll just be clockwork, go to work, come home, change, go to the gym, come home, shower, whatever, uh, podcasts, hang out, watch TV, do, you know, Nikki goes to bed early. Uh, cause she is not a day timer as she said, she's going to get used to being a day timer again. So she's going to bed earlier.
Speaker: Right now until she gets readjusted into the daytime life. She was a bartender for 25 years. Oh, wow. So she's had daytime jobs. She's not the daytime type.
Speaker: I just said, it's stupid, she just said. Sunlight is dumb. You know, I was a night time examiner for a while and I agreed whenever I was working night shift, the daytime was dumb. Daytime always causes a lot of problems. One of the perfect shift nights just got to fix. Well, before Glick met Nikki, she used to sleep in a coffin during the day, so. Where do you work at, Jarvis?
Speaker: Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, Steven. This is for you from Nikki. Hey, Nikki right back at you. He he he baby. This is for Steven. Uh huh. Yeah. Aren't you already on her **** list, Steven? Hey, if I can keep doing it, why not find something you're good at? Facts on facts. Yeah, I guess you gotta find one thing in life you're good at
Speaker: He's working on trying to be number one on that **** list. Hey, he's trying to take the pressure off of you, Glick. Yeah, what are you bitching about? If you bump me off the number one spot, then more power. You keep it up, Jarvis. I'm your number one. That thing is K Meg. I don't think I'll ever be able to knock him off that list. No, you know, I tell you what, one of my favorite shifts I've ever worked and I only did it for a very short time period in my life.
Speaker: was second shift. I fucking loved it, man. I went in at three o 'clock. I was off at 11 o 'clock. You know, 11 o 'clock at night, if you're going to the club or the bar. That's what is kicking off, man. That's prime time.
Speaker: You're there for a few hours. Or if you're getting off work and yet we didn't have cell phones back then. Well, yeah, we didn't, we didn't have cell phones back then. So it was like, before I left, I'd call my buddy at his, at his place or one of my buddies be like, Hey, well, come on tonight. We're having a bonfire. I'll see y 'all in an hour. You know, and I go out there and I could hang out and have some bad news and have a good time and then go to bed at two or three in the morning.
Speaker: get up at noon, take my shower, you know, shower, shave, and drive into work. And I was gold. The second shift was nice. I've never worked a third shift. I'm not a third shift guy. But I'm also the majority of the world. I'm a daytimeer, man. I'll get up in the mornings and do what I need to do. But, you know, like I said, you know, we all find those things in life that help us
Speaker: uh, refocus and, and, and, and, and find the good and find the positive came out or not came out. I'm sorry. I was talking earlier about meditation. I found meditation years ago and nothing. And like blazing said, it's not the sitting crisscross applesauce and I'll be sitting in the living room watching TV and I just zone out.
Speaker: And that's meditation for, you know, I'm just in my head, you know, I'm somewhere else in my head. I'm somewhere else. I'm just zoned out, but I'm, I'm getting that clarity. I'm getting that. All right. It's all going to be fine. That kind of that woosah movement, you know, buddy. Love it. I'll see you in the morning. You got that kind of woosah moment, you know, and just kind of.
Speaker: taking a look back at the day or the week or, or a certain thing. And then a few minutes later, boom, snap back to reality. Like Eminem said, you know, then I'm like, all right, here we go. I'm good now. You know, um, yeah, I think a lot of people, you know, when they hear the word meditation, they have that, uh, you know, show gun monks, you know, in a, in a, in a, in a,
Speaker: Palace on the side of a mountain type. It's not really. This is how you do it. Grasshopper. Sometimes you just need that moment. I mean, even K -Mag sometimes you can set room and go wall or not K -Mag blazing. Sorry, I keep doing that. You know, you go wall, light, flag, belt, mirror, you know, just kind of bringing yourself back.
Speaker: Uh, I do. I do want to share something real quick. Uh, something I dug once in my life and I need to find another, I need to find a place to do it again. Have you guys ever been into a depredation? Is it depredation tank? One compression tank? It's like, uh, it's like 12 inches. Sensory deprivation. Yeah. Sensory deprivation. Yeah. It's like 12 inches of water. It's filled with, um, uh,
Speaker: I forgot to solve. I forgot this type of solve, but you're buoyant and you're closed off and you have like this, like very peaceful noises coming in. You just float and you feel weightless and you feel so isolated from the world. It's actually pretty peaceful. It's, it's, it's, I've done it one time. Uh, and then the only reason I got the words aren't hard.
Speaker: That's right. Facts on facts. You think we make this shit up around here? What the hell, to be fair? Most of it was good not knowing how to say anything, Sonny. Like, words are hard. That's a good catchphrase. Letterkitty is an awesome show. I love Letterkitty. Yours is funnier. Oh, I love Shorzy. I love you, Shorzy. I got the opportunity for...
Speaker: The Ohio State Medical Center. And we got one of those. The building I was in was a sports. It was a pavilion and a tower. The tower was basically all James Cancer. And the pavilion was a sports medicine. And they got one of those chambers whose deprivation temperature, chambers, whatever the hell it's called. And being an employee there, they're like, you guys want to try it?
Speaker: Yeah, actually I'm in, but yeah, like, like, like blazing just said, dude, it was the most peaceful experience I've ever had in my life because you're closed off from everything. There there's no, you, there's no outside noise. There's nothing. And it is such a peaceful experience. Like in all honesty,
Speaker: I would, if I was stupid rich, I would buy one. I would have to get a queen size one or a king size one. So Nikki and I could sleep together, but I would 100 % sleep in one, like a goddamn vampire in a coffin. Because it is amazing. It is an amazing feeling. And you come out of that thing feeling so relaxed. I mean, you've done it. I'm assuming right place. Oh yeah. Yeah. I took a.
Speaker: Of course, I did it when I was little stone, but I took a massive amount of just just so my body was completely relaxed. It felt nice. I'll get some noise, noise, canceling headphones. Oh, OK. Oh, water deprivation. So easy a Sasquatch can use it. You got a commercial there, buddy.
Speaker: Oh, he's a Sasquatch Wookie hybrid. He's so racist. Wookiees and Sasquatches are not the same. Calm down. We get it. Han Solo died. Okay, get over it. I don't care. If I was a Wookie, I would've ate it. I would've chewed his head off. Star Trek is better.
Speaker: Neither of them are better. They're both. Yeah. You know, fuck you, Chris. You're wrong. Nerd. Oh, excuse me for liking fantasy movies. Oh, Star Wars, Star Trek, Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones bullshit. That's giving me mental problems. Yeah. Where's Jeff with this nerd clip? We need that. Listen. Yeah.
Speaker: That's mine. No one wants to do that. Motherfucker credit for the shit I do. Next time. Oh, I forgot the S. Horse art. I don't know what kind of horse you've been with, but... Expensive ones. Way too expensive. Evidently him and Danny Bonaducci know the same ones. I spent a lot of time in Thailand.
Speaker: I did spend two years in Guam close enough. Dude, I've heard somebody go get things back on. Yeah. Damn. All right. All right, gentlemen, we are we are we are coming close to the end of the day. But I'm pleased to answer the question you had before. Content creator. That's my job, I guess. Oh, OK. Gotcha. Gotcha. Thank you. I know you got walked on by Connor. He was like, Oh, fuck you.
Speaker: That's mostly because it's not because it's true. He's a good guy. Oh, yes, he is. Oh, you're waving. OK. Thank you, Connor. Thank you. You're welcome. Oh, hi. You want to sit back on my lap real quick? OK. It's like Connor's kids when they take over.
Speaker: Every time my boys see me on the podcast, can we say hi? Yeah, dude. We got to know what we're doing. Nonsense, the kids show. I think one night you had to go into your colostomy bag because you're old. Sometimes you got to make the bladder bladder.
Speaker: I don't know. We're doing a show and Connor just disappears. And then 30 seconds later from the corner of the screen. I think it was Carson.
Speaker: And that night, Carson had brought like chocolate to Connor and stuff. So I just started interviewing him, hanging out with him and chit -chat with him. And he put the headphones on and sat down in the chair and just started walking up a storm. And Jeff was being weird and being Jeff. And I just muted Jeff's mic. I said, you're a dickhead.
Speaker: Oh, shit. You have the headphones on? No, she didn't. When you said I took them off right before you. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's probably not the worst she's heard, but I'm sure it's not. Hey, well, I still would have felt bad. Oh, yeah. You're a D .I .C .K .H .A .D. Dad, what's a chafeed? That's you.
Speaker: What's talking shishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishish
Speaker: So I am going to do I have I have about reached the end of my candle. So I'm going to have to balance this. I'm getting ready to wrap it up to. OK, sorry. Yeah, if you can hang around for just a few more minutes, if not, before you dip out, I do. I do have one thing I want to leave you guys with. So but go ahead. Yeah, I was going to ask you if you can hang around for a few more minutes. I'm actually going to wrap this up. Gentlemen came back.
Speaker: Give us a, you know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna do my little spiel and stuff like that. Play a song. When we come back, I'd like for you guys to give a quote, importance of inspiration, anything like that.
Speaker: Jarvis and Connor kind of know the routine if you will But if you guys can hang out for just a couple of minutes just something to close the show out with I greatly appreciate that Appreciate you guys hanging out. Thank you guys. Hopefully you enjoyed the show a huge. Thank you to K mag and blazing Thank you guys for coming on the show tonight Love to have you guys back on the show again sure
Speaker: just to, you know, whether it be a topic of conversation or just to get to know you guys a little bit more, allow our audience to get to know you guys a little bit more. And, you know, not only that, but also check on you guys and make sure you guys are doing good in your progress and all that fun jazz. So I do appreciate that. I really do. I do appreciate you guys coming on here tonight. I got a blast. Definitely.
Speaker: And the door is always open on Monday nights for all men. This is Men Count for Men. We encourage everybody to share the show, tell your loved ones, get in the tennis box, engage in the show. Not only that, but if you want to come on the show and share your story, just reach out to us. We are on our phones on social media, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. The show is live every Monday night at 7 p .m.
Speaker: on YouTube, Facebook, and Twitch, and then we are on all podcasting platforms. So we are not hard to reach, we're not hard to find. Go ahead and give us a follow, give us a listen, give us a share. Run on over to bio .link slash nonsensical nonsense.
Speaker: All those links are there. I also invite you guys to check out all the other shows because we do have a lot of other options and a lot of other content, uh, here at nonsensical nonsense. Uh, Monday nights has been caring for men. Tuesday nights is dollars and cents. It's a Jeff salmon Vera with a business show a Wednesday nights is nonsensical nonsense. You're unhinged, unapologetic, just people having fun hanging out.
Speaker: to chat and bullshit rude and rude Thursday nights network nonsense going on since we take the night off to make room for our guys over talking. Make sure you're checking them out. Make sure you're following them because they've already got booked up for all of April and all of day.
Speaker: Uh, horror movies, uh, musicians, you name it. They're, they're lining up guests. Like nobody's business on Thursday nights at 8 p .m. On Facebook and YouTube at talking shit. Um, also on Thursdays, lady drops Helen's mixed tape on 365 radio .co 3 p .m. Our time will state her time over there.
Speaker: And then late, late, late, late, late nights on Thursdays, Ted Hicks with late night parents. I think they usually do the show around 11 when they do the show. They haven't done a show in a hot minute. But they do that on Thursdays, Friday nights, the first and third Fridays, or as David, I hope he looks out for music.
Speaker: Just had Rock Lee on there. Make sure you check out that episode. It is on YouTube and hopefully by tomorrow it'll be up on all the podcast forms. That was a fun interview. That was only going to be an hour and a half. It took me four and a half hours. And Saturday's Nonsenseful Nonsense is back unhinged, unapologetic. But with the twist, we dropped the link. It's the open door challenge. Everybody is welcome to join us.
Speaker: Don't be shy go ahead hit that link and join us Sunday's Jarvis drops a brand new episode of the Jarvis podcast And also Sunday evenings lady does her music documentaries at lady lady own one on twitch So go check out all the shows lots of content lots of content creators
Speaker: Uh, with that being said, I didn't want to wrap the show up. This has kind of become our closure. I love this song. Um, uh, you know, it kind of encompasses mental health as a whole, uh, but it is shine shine downs, uh, save me. We'll be right back with closing words.
Speaker: and I've got a spoon I live in a hallway with no doors and no
Speaker: and what went wrong couldn't handle forgiveness
Speaker: Yes, sir. Sign down will save me. I did forget one shout out. I have to apologize. Forgive me. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. It's bright and early. Fireman Rich on Twitch. Go ahead and check him out with his morning. Good morning and coffee. He's doing his thing, hanging out, having a good time. Anyways.
Speaker: Everybody listening and everybody watching. Thank you guys. Appreciate it. The guys who were on the panel tonight. Thank you guys as always blazing and came back. Thank you guys, especially, uh, blazing. I know you got to run. So I want to go ahead and hit you first before we leave. What would you like to leave the people with? No, I hear this. No such thing as no such thing as bad feelings is how we react to it. Amen to that came back. What you got for the people before we dip out?
Speaker: Well, mine's not as friendly as that was. Mine's more oil field related. So if there's anybody in here in the oil field, you'll get it. But don't put your pecker where you wouldn't put your hands, boys. That's very good advice. I feel like definitely in an oil field, that is great advice. Well, it is. Because look, a machine that goes up and down, I want to put my pecker in it. Well, I mean, if you look at like
Speaker: Some of the old timers, how they're missing digits on one hand or whatever, and they walk around looking like this half the time. They get them, so they don't use them anymore, but they used to use chains on the drill pipe, and they'd sling them up. Well, you got to hold the chain in place while the drill pipe's tightening down. Well, their fingers are going to get caught underneath that drill pipe, and you're talking about a whole lot of pressure.
Speaker: Yeah. I just want to say, I just want to say Mickey fell asleep and she woke up to your words of wisdom and all she had to say was why you were snorkeling. Anyways.
Speaker: Hey yo, I got one here. It's healthy to admit you're not okay. It's okay not to be okay. It's brave, but don't let it win. Be sad, have your moment, your day, your week, then do something about it and be happy for yourself. That was a lot of fucking words there. Hey Connor, hi princess.
Speaker: the the
Speaker: Thank you. Words are hard, but you guys know me. You guys know I'm always going to leave you with more than one, but I have, I have a mainstay, but this one I did come across that mental health is not a destination, but a process. It's about how you drive and not where you're going.
Speaker: And this one and this one means a lot to me. I love this quote, especially for us men. A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that are thrown at him. And last but not least, this one's special just for you, Connor. If rubbing alcohol is for outside booboos, then drinking alcohol is for inside booboos.
Speaker: You can also use rubbing alcohol for inside booboos. Yes, you can, but it tastes horrible. I'll tell you that much. Been down that road. Don't drink as much as the inside booboo alcohol. Yeah, exactly. Small donuts go a long way. Nothing will ever be your problem again. With that being said, the guys here at Men Camp are men. Have a great week, everybody. You guys take care. Don't be afraid to talk. We'll see you next Monday night. Hit this button here.
