Transcript
Speaker: But let me go back to the actual physicalness of the beach show moment and why it's so important. Because I believe that. We have the answers to a lot of our.
Speaker: uncertainties all around us all the time. We just don't get to them. Because we don't sit down. and be quiet enough. Because we don't sit down in the silence.
Speaker: and sit. in the silence No podcast, no music. No, nothing. Sit with the silence. Because I believe there's so much power.
Speaker: in that.
Speaker: Hello everyone and welcome back to Beyond the Boost. Today I am joined by Adam Rope. Adam. When we talked before the recording, you used a phrase and that phrase stuck with me.
Speaker: You said... to be misunderstood is to be understood. Let's start there. Okay. Where should we start? Where do you want me to take this? i mean I can take this so many different directions.
Speaker: So when that line when you say that what does it mean for you? Well... I mean, again, I can take it in the context of where I've heard it from, and I'm a very spiritual guy.
Speaker: So we can take it from that standpoint. And this was just taught to me many, many years ago. If you look at Jesus. He was a very misunderstood person. And yet that's what he was attempting to go for was.
Speaker: literally to pay attention, to have people pay attention because. Here's the thing. As we build stuff. In this world now, I don't believe we're in an information age anymore. We are truly in an implementation age.
Speaker: everything is implementation i mean information is everywhere it is so available it's almost overly available if you think about it from, I mean, Google is historic. Google is like old school now. If you're not using a chat bot for something.
Speaker: You're behind the times. You really are behind the times. I got a guy that rents an office from me right now that is using Claude code and he's programming something that was. a mechanism that someone was trying to sell him. He was like, I don't need that. I'll just go build my own. And so he went and built his own. So here's the crazy part is.
Speaker: To be misunderstood is to be understood. as in the context of the world that we live in right now your job Out there. I'm a coach, right? So I help coaches. build their business.
Speaker: It's okay for me to be misunderstood in that space because It is what I call the premise. I believe that there's three Ps that you have to have. In this space.
Speaker: of serving. in coaching, if you, whatever you want to call it. The second P is premise. Premises what? It's my. belief.
Speaker: It's my worldly view. It is my understanding of said context, right? Of said information. So we go back to Jesus. Jesus had his.
Speaker: premise. He had his belief. And he knew what he was doing in that moment of time. And people... didn't necessarily understand, but they wanted to listen. It's the same thing we we're doing right now. We have a blueprint. Sure, everyone has a blueprint.
Speaker: I believe in the blueprint of what we have built in our four phases serves coaches. just aligns with what they're looking to accomplish. And so we could be misunderstood in that space.
Speaker: until we are fully understood that, oh, those four phases. can help me get out of this container of success that I'm not being called into anymore. Let me check it out. Let me understand. So that's really what the origin of what that was from. And I live by it.
Speaker: Shifting gears a bit. When we talked before, you described a version... of yourself. running those early companies. You had that win at all costs mindset.
Speaker: Where did that come from? Because I'm pretty sure it didn't start. in business. No, that's an easy answer. My father was an Olympic swim coach. But even before my father. was his father and then his father. And so I think three generations removed from my dad were farmers in Indiana.
Speaker: And I got to experience my grandfather. Never got to experience my great -grandfather. working hard on the farm. And hard work was what brought payoff, right? Hard work, manual labor.
Speaker: Up before the the sun came up, down before the sun went down. And as cliche and movie oriented as it sounds, I mean, that was my grandfather roach, right? 2 ,000 plus acres.
Speaker: beans and corn that's Indiana for you and chickens and cows. That's what I knew, right? And so I got to watch my grandfather in the hard work space. Manual labor. And I got to see my father.
Speaker: who was on the farm but off the farm, raised on Main Street, if you will, and became a coach in his own right, but became a coach in a very niche -specific space, and that was in the swimming space, right? He was a specialist in that space.
Speaker: And he specialized in training athletes to prepare them for the Olympic trials and then take them to the Olympics. And so my father had great notoriety. He was on the cover of magazines. He was in the Hall of Fame. He was all these things.
Speaker: So where did I get her from? Now there is a little caveat to this. Because I got it. from catching. right I believe things are caught, not taught. And we catch things.
Speaker: And so as I was catching what my father was doing. I thought that had to be me too. I really did. And I have now since learned through having multiple coaches, my entire life, multiple business coaches, multiple relationship coaches, multiple fitness and nutrition. I mean, you name it. I've had enough coach, right?
Speaker: of said coach. And I still have four right now as we speak today. But here's what I learned. I learned that that version of myself was not the true version of myself.
Speaker: Because I went through with a coach. what he called the pose exercise, P -O -S -E, the pose. We all have a pose. And that pose is created.
Speaker: Through a true... What do you want to call equation? And I had no idea, right? So this is a fun, I'll share the briefly this, this abbreviated story of this. But he says it starts. Everyone has this.
Speaker: It starts with a wound. right? A true wound. And so he goes in and he starts asking me about my father because I love my father. I still love him. I mean, he's deceased now, but I love my father.
Speaker: And he says, let me ask you a question. Was your father active or a passive dad? I said i don't think I know the difference. He says, was he around or was he? Not around. And if he was around, was he the kind of dad that sat you down and said, son, this is what I expect from you?
Speaker: Or was he a passive dad and he just basically taught you things? based on how he acted. I said, oh, that's good. I said, I think it was the latter. It was passive. if That's where you want to find it. There's a grape. He said, where did your dad?
Speaker: ah Where did he get his fulfillment from? Was it from church? Was it from the family? Was it from external? And I thought, hmm. Well... We had family dinners, but he was gone a lot of the time.
Speaker: And he didn't really go to church with us that often. But his his office sure was filled with magazine covers and trophies and awards and pictures with other people. So I think he got his fulfillment from, sure, his family. but Boy, he got it from external.
Speaker: He says, okay. He said, so that you need to pay attention to. Because the wound. plus the L. So W plus L. L is lie. Lie is what we.
Speaker: Create. In ourselves. From the wound. Because lie then goes V. So W plus L. plus V.
Speaker: V stands for vow, V -O -W. And what is the vow? The vow is the thing that you will do to overcome or hide or mask. the lie. So what was my vow?
Speaker: I'll always win. What was my vow? I'll always succeed. What was my vow? I will do whatever it takes to. Have success. equals Your pose. P -O -S -E. My pose was that I was a performance dude.
Speaker: I would perform. I was performance driven. I was success. oriented. Now. That's not wrong. Okay, but here's what we have to understand. is your pose.
Speaker: could be inauthentic. Your pose could be created based on... an area where you think. You need to be. And it wasn't until that same coach coached me up on what he called the masculine heart.
Speaker: And masculine is not sex -based. It's not male or female. It's the masculine heart. He says, Adam, a masculine heart has three categories. An adventure? a warrior, and a lover.
Speaker: I was like, oh cool. He said, did you hear me say success? I said, not really. He says, great. He says, now success can live. And the adventure side. Success can live in the... warrior side and even in the lover side.
Speaker: But he says, here's what you have to pay attention to. Are you having significance? Are you having only success? He says, because success is finite.
Speaker: Significance can last forever. even after you're gone, and that's called legacy. And he says, you can't have legacy without the root word. which is legs. And so he says the legacy is who you are.
Speaker: have helped other people become. after you're gone and they still feel that. I thought, whoa. He says, that is where your... true self is.
Speaker: If that's the lane you're being called to. And I was totally being called to that. And so I know that's a long winded answer. but I came from a success path. Very successful. in the financial space. Very successful. Exited four companies. It was fantastic. The ex -wife got a lot of that money. And now the significance path is.
Speaker: How do we serve coaches all around the country. and then all around the world. And we've been blessed now to do that on four different continents.
Speaker: Yes. So... I didn't hear you share this. Can you remember The first time... you felt like Winning was just the price of admission.
Speaker: That went three times. right It's happened three times. First time. I was. a collegiate tennis player. i attempted to play professional tennis found out real quick that i was an american not a european And it was getting my butt kicked all the time.
Speaker: Though I got into the tennis business. and And I gave myself 10 years to own a tennis club. and I got it done in four years. And it was great. But then about year nine.
Speaker: You're eight or nine. There was something off. Something was misaligned and I didn't know what it was and I was actually pushing it away. I was like, who wouldn't want to be in Beverly Hills? Who wouldn't be want to be teaching Tom Hanks and Courtney Cox and Val Kilmer tennis, right? Who wouldn't want to be doing that?
Speaker: So from the outside looking in. Life was great. But from the inside looking out... Something felt off. Then it happened and again in the real estate investing space, right? That was a flipper.
Speaker: And I was a wholesaler. And that was a short -lived time period because... The market beat me up. But at the same time, I learned through it. And then I got into the real estate brokerage ownership standpoint and owned three of them. And the same thing happened.
Speaker: was I felt like the container is what I call it, that I was in. which is conditioning, right? Conditioning means that we feel we are supposed to be in that lane because of the season of life that we're in.
Speaker: I felt uncertainty. I didn't know what it was But there was an uncertain feeling around it and I had to go create clarity for it. i had to go create clarity of what that uncertainty was and each time that clarity brought a different vehicle.
Speaker: It brought a different vehicle. And the last piece of that was I needed to step into a space of ownership. I needed to step into a space of not physical ownership, but a stance.
Speaker: right What was the stance that I was willing to take? that that surpass success. And now that's what's brought me to this today. in the previous discussion you brought up legacy And.
Speaker: a lot of people know legacy as like you said the the things you leave behind the what will people say when you're gone Yep.
Speaker: I come from a position that legacy happens. in the little daily decisions every moment. Right.
Speaker: but You talked about this. You talked about the three layers, the tennis coach, the the real estate investment, made the brokerage. You had the franchises, you had the agents, you had market share.
Speaker: From outside, as you said. You were exactly what that identity was supposed to create. that's right oh i forgot i had a software business in there too that was massively successful Yes.
Speaker: But what was it costing you that nobody else could see? First of all, if this is a video podcast, you'll see I have no hair. So that's first. No, I'm joking. What was it costing me?
Speaker: you Great question. Because looking back on it, I think it's an easy answer. And that. was... the character, right? It was costing my character.
Speaker: Here's what I mean by that.
Speaker: When I owned my brokerages, I was a recruiter I was a recruiter of people to bring in. The way I looked at it was the more people we had, the more revenue opportunities we had. Same thing with my software company. The more users we had, the more revenue opportunity we had.
Speaker: And I was known as a recruiter. And while that wasn't wrong... What it was costing me was. I was so focused on the numbers. I was so focused on. The growth aspect.
Speaker: that I was missing empathy. That I was missing the relationship. That I was missing things that mattered more. You know, i i had I had a real big business owner mentor one time say, Adam, you know the cool thing? You know how you can define success?
Speaker: is when you're walking through your own company. and people don't know who you are. I was like, oh, that's kind of cool. I, on the flip side, could walk through my own company and not know who.
Speaker: Everybody was. and I didn't like that. Right. That was out of alignment with who I really was because number one, I love people. And number two, I love serving people. Yet all I was focused on was.
Speaker: Warm body, warm body, warm body, warm body. Get them in the door. Get them into production. Get them in the door. Get them into production. Get them into the software business and have them have success. But if I walked into a room of a thousand people, I wouldn't know their names.
Speaker: Right. It sounds like you were operating in that. kind of that automaton, right? Just a machine. Just boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.
Speaker: Alright. So... You didn't mention it, but... You told me before there was a divorce in there. And you lost. Like. three quarters of what you built.
Speaker: That's what I did. What was happening inside your identity at that point? Well, that that's easy. That is a case where... My focus?
Speaker: Was on the success. of business, not the success of family. And there's other factors that can go into the reason why I got divorced. So at the end of the day.
Speaker: Take my software business as an example. I'm on the east coast of the U .S., and my software developers and partner was on the west coast, and so that was three hours behind us. So at nine o 'clock, it's six o 'clock and those guys are still working. So I'm still working too. At 12 o 'clock.
Speaker: Eastern time. It's nine o 'clock. Pacific time. And I'm still working because these were big businesses that we were building. And it did. It cost me a relationship. It cost me connection. It cost me focus. And I say focus because I lost focus.
Speaker: I lost focus on what commitment I had made under God. And. And it was not. Repairable. Right? It was not repairable. So yeah.
Speaker: All that success as it relates to financial. Yeah. Lost. the majority of it. Right, kind of. top of the mountain. down in the gully kind of moment sounds like.
Speaker: again Which isn't necessarily a negative thing. Because I feel... Mm hmm. Those valleys? tend to be where we see the most growth.
Speaker: We don't grow on the peak. Yeah, you're absolutely right. Absolutely right. And it's. What's as easily... Given can be as easily taken away.
Speaker: Right. And I do believe I'm a firm believer that. Those wildernesses, if you will. are for a reason. And that reason is...
Speaker: And my spiritual walk is to bring me closer to God. right, it is to bring me. And stop being so self -reliant. And know that my relationship with God is first and foremost.
Speaker: Right. But I was idolizing. Success I was idolizing money. I was idolizing that notoriety And hey. It... to each their own.
Speaker: But for me. It was misaligned. I was misaligned and I was not necessarily being taught a lesson, but I was just having my eyes opened. That you can have success. Yeah, I think that and that's the key, right? it's It's not. that you can't have the success. Sure.
Speaker: And. The full bank account and the house. and as you said it's very personal does it what you're doing and the path you're on is it aligned with Okay. your personal values.
Speaker: your purpose that you've uncovered. Right. because I don't believe in, it' not like finding your keys. You don't go out looking and find your purpose. You uncover it. As you go through this journey, right?
Speaker: All right, let's go to what you called... The beach chair a moment. Hmm. Your father had passed. You went to Charleston. You pray, journal.
Speaker: Yep. Pride. Sure. You came back. and shocked 750 agents. Walk us through that. So let me back up. So after my father had passed, he passed from Parkinson's related issues.
Speaker: And I spoke. at the funeral, spoke the eulogy. And what the pivotal moment was. Again, this was a season of success for me. And as I watched my father die in his... 60s he was in his 60s he passed from As I said, Parkinson's.
Speaker: Related issues, but he only found out because he was training for it an iron man And that was my dad. He was training for an Ironman. As times were getting slower, he calls me up one day and he says, hey. my times are getting slower i was like dad you're getting older He's like, no, no, something's off. He's a very time -oriented man. I mean, with swimming, you i mean by the by the second, they they're that close, right?
Speaker: Tenth of a second. So he goes to the doctor and the doctor has him walk on a treadmill, run on a treadmill or something like that. And he says, yeah, this is easy. Did some blood work came back and he said your left foot is dragging because you have Parkinson's He's like, oh. okay He says, Parkinson's killed you. And he says, no.
Speaker: He says, but complications from it can. Okay, fine. Fast forward seven years later and he's he's gone. So I'm speaking the eulogy and I'm looking out over the audience, four or 500 people. and I see former athletes.
Speaker: I see. peers who are his peer coaches. I see. parents right And these are people that hadn't been in my dad's coaching periphery for probably 25 years, right?
Speaker: And. Ish. I don't know, give or take some time there. And I saw. what John Maxwell had been teaching me. Success is finite, significance is infinite.
Speaker: And these people had come because, and they were sharing with me stories, legacy -based stories that to this day that they had carried with them. right And they were using in their world, there was a man who brought with him a tape recorder, old school tape recorder with a cassette tape that he put in it and pushed it down and pushed play.
Speaker: And it was my father's voice. This swimmer was a breaststroker. So his head would go up and head would go down, head would go up, head would go down. But he would hear my dad say, go. Go. go and it was a cadence right and if he heard my dad say go and it was faster He knew his head was supposed to come up faster. right So there was a real process to this, and the guy used it to this day in his own coaching world. right So.
Speaker: The funeral's over. And I come back to Charleston. And I need some time. I want some time to myself. So I go to the beach. And again, mind you, three. franchises that are massively successful a software business that is running.
Speaker: ex -wife payments that are easily being made right now at $18 ,000 a month, right? And success was happening. It felt good, but something was calling me outside of that. So I sat on the beach chair.
Speaker: Took my Bible with me. Took my journal with me as you mentioned took some sunscreen from my bald head take some water with me And nothing else. No music. No nothing. And I just sat there and I prayed and I journaled and I cried and I just kept drinking water and I just kept asking.
Speaker: Just tell me where to go. Tell me what to do. And I kept hearing over and over and over surround yourself with better people, surround yourself with better people. And I didn't know what that meant. And these businesses that I had bought, I had inherited. investor partners. So I didn't bring them with me. or They were already there.
Speaker: And so I took that. I kept hearing, surround yourself with better people. So I took it to my pastor and I said, hey, I keep hearing this. And you so you told me that if I think I'm having a conversation with God to lean it up on scripture. So what are you hearing? He goes, that's easy. And I keep it right here.
Speaker: Proverbs 13, 20. And that's walk with the wise and become wise for a companion of fools suffers harm. I thought, uh oh. are the people that I'm in business with.
Speaker: My wise. And that's wise as WISE, right? up Are they the wise that I'm supposed to be walking with? And I instantly.
Speaker: Knew that was a no. I instantly knew. right Because I had felt something was off. And I just couldn't identify it. And before that beach chair moment, I couldn't identify it. But post beach chair moment, I could. But let me go back to the actual physicalness of the beach chair moment and why it's so important.
Speaker: Because I believe that... We have the answers to a lot of our. uncertainties all around us all the time. We just don't get to them.
Speaker: Because we don't sit down. and be quiet enough. Because we don't sit down in the silence. and sit in the silence No podcast, no music.
Speaker: No nothing. Sit with the silence. Because I believe there's so much power. in that. I'm a go, go, go, go guy, right? I love to go. I love to be on the go.
Speaker: But after my father passed, I told my father that i would there was one thing in life that I would beat him in. It wasn't going to be magazine covers. It wasn't going to be Hall of Fames. I was going to beat him in the age category, that I was going to outlive him by at least 40 -fold. I wanted to die at the age of 103.
Speaker: God willing. And so. My doctor. who I then hired, he did blood work and he's like, Hey man, your cortisol level is through the roof. Okay, now this is post -beach chair moment. And I'm going to get back to that in a second.
Speaker: And he says, here's what I want you to do. We're going to lower that. But we're going to work on your parasympathetic nervous system. I was like, I have no idea what that is. What is that? So he explained it to me. And he says, I want you to go for a walk. That's a walk.
Speaker: I want to go for a walk. He says, yeah, I want you to go for a walk. It's a win. He goes, any time of the day, but just go for a walk. He says, I want level two cardio. I said, what is level two cardio? Can I go for a jog? He says, no, no, we're not going to go for a jog. You're going to walk.
Speaker: Level 2 cardio is where you can talk. and walk at the same time without being out of breath. Okay, great. So I begrudgingly did that. But what I realized was, this is, again, post -Beach Share moment.
Speaker: That I was like, uh -oh. That was my... That was the doctor's way of telling me you need to have more. Beach Chair Moments. and that is when you get quiet That's when you...
Speaker: Have silence. So every day. That's six years removed now. Every day I go on a 30 -minute walk. No podcasts, no music. It's just me? 5 a .m.?
Speaker: Going for a walk? I listen for certain things. I listen for 10 things and then I pray. And I pray out loud. And that's where I get to have my inner time. But let's go back to the beach show moment. When I heard that.
Speaker: Walk with the wise and become wise for a companion of fools suffers harm. My pastor said, have you ever considered selling your businesses? I said no. So I'm not going to tell you what to do, but you probably should pay attention. So I did.
Speaker: I prayed on it for about two or three weeks. And I went into my investor meeting. had I backed them up. back to back to back the exact same day. And I said, guys, today's easy conversation. I've surrendered to something that is calling me.
Speaker: And the simple... Action item is either I'm buying you all out or you're buying me out. And I'm not going to decide. You're going to decide. And yes, I know I own the majority of these companies, but that's okay because I'm surrendering to finding the whys that I'm supposed to walk with. And no offense.
Speaker: It's just not you. And they were all taken aback. Three meetings back to back to back just like that I was scared to death, but I had surrendered to what I was supposed to be doing. And I did. And they all came back and said, hey, no problem. We'll buy you out. We knew what the process was. I had great exits.
Speaker: And that's what led me to this. Freedom. to build what I was supposed to build. And now here we are. I love it. So that's the beach chair moment. I believe everybody should have a daily beach chair moment, or if not, at least a weekly beach chair moment.
Speaker: to get and sit in the quiet. Absolutely. I was just teaching on this on a LinkedIn live that. Pause. and quiet. Mm. because if you're going through your day just non -stop from one thing to the next It never gets quiet enough.
Speaker: ever. to hear. what you need to hear. Yeah, so true. And the pause is real. You used Proverbs. I think of...
Speaker: I think it was Elijah. He looked for the God in the fire. He looked for God in the storm. And where was it? The wisdom was in the silence.
Speaker: That's right. In a soft, quiet voice. Yes. and
Speaker: What I... caught from your share there adam is that It's outside of ourselves. Like when we surrender to something outside of ourselves. Everything shifts.
Speaker: And on that topic of surrender, you mentioned that you said. To grow, you have to shed. And. Shedding is different than deciding you can Leave a container you can decide to talk to your investors and say hey There's a buyout happening. You're buying me, I'm buying you. I'm out of this container. Hmm. one way or another.
Speaker: Yeah. but that alone you can still carry that with you right you can take that same thing i think actually your path. illustrates that you changed containers Bye.
Speaker: you carried things with you along the way So on the shedding What actually came off? And... What surprised you when it shed and you saw what was underneath?
Speaker: But that goes back to identity, right? And this is a really funny and it's a great part for this. I have here in front of me. This is again If we're visual, this is. From 2000, I'm sorry, from 1996, right?
Speaker: So the question is, what did you shed? It took a long time for me to shed. what i'm getting ready to share because this is 30 years ago And this is from my college telescope.
Speaker: And he had me write out all of the the strokes, if you will, in tennis. Serve, volley, ground strokes, footwork, mental. And overall, right, overall, it said... Okay, what are your strengths? Here's the strengths. What are your weaknesses?
Speaker: My weaknesses, here's what I said, 1996, my weaknesses are pretty minimal. ah And I read that to my wife and she was like. In 2000 or in 1996, you still had an ego. I was like, I think that's where it started. So what did I shed?
Speaker: I shed a big portion of my ego. All right, I shed a big portion of kneading. to be seen. I shed a big portion of this chasing success mechanism.
Speaker: and aligning with what is the acronym for ego. edging God out. I mean, I was so self -reliant back then. Again, Not that...
Speaker: This is needs to be a... God -oriented podcast, but for me, it was what I was missing. I was missing that relationship. And so I was shedding that self -reliance. I was shedding that that ego side of me.
Speaker: that I now, as we have built this coaching community. my team still gets really mad at me for doing this and that's okay because i'm staying with my Walk with the wise and become wise approach.
Speaker: I still do introductory. and sometimes deep dive calls with every single coach that comes into our community. Why? Because I will never be the one that walks through my office.
Speaker: Virtual, because we're virtual. and doesn't know the names. of people. in my world in the past I didn't care about that. right and Who did I care about? myself.
Speaker: Now? I know significance. When you have it. Success follows. Just because you're having success? doesn't mean you're being significant. And the neat part about that is.
Speaker: I go back to the my tennis days, my college tennis days. I don't remember any of that. Not because it was 30 years ago, but there was no significance there. It was just very success -oriented, which led me all the way up to...
Speaker: 2000. nineteen which is when I exited everything. and went on this significance journey. So shedding of my own self, massive ego. Well, and I picked that up when you shared the story at your father's funeral.
Speaker: The pre -breach chart moment.
Speaker: And... In his death, You learned a lesson. that You didn't catch. while he was alive. and what i heard was what you just said that the significance, we can call it significant, I might say impact.
Speaker: But it was about relationships. and As you said, it started with your prime Primary Relationship Because...
Speaker: When that's off, None of the other ones work. yeahp It's all off. Yeah, it's totally off. And now. and Being married again? Oh.
Speaker: That next to my relationship with God, that's number two. Yep, that's number two. And we said it to the kids too. It goes, God. husband and wife Kids.
Speaker: In that order. Right. that's another one where That's another one where people tend to... Get things out of order. Work relationships is last in my category.
Speaker: right And so what's really fun is we've got. I don't know how many coaches in the community, but we have a great deal of coaches. We've been blessed to have many coaches in the community. and I don't get a single text message on help right They know to lean into the community.
Speaker: And that's the neat part. Even though I know them all by name, even though I can all reach out to all of them. They know that. They are fourth on my totem pole. When it comes to relationships, I love them. I love them dearly.
Speaker: And. They're still fourth on my totem pole. But isn't that what true community is? You don't... Have a leader of the community where everybody has to go to that leader. A real community is...
Speaker: Everybody working together. The more seasoned members can. Guide. the newer members. Yeah. And that's our vision statement. Our vision statement inside of the community is... to empower coaches.
Speaker: Didn't say Adam. Didn't say my team. Coaches empower each other, empower coaches to change and serve. 100 million people. Not 100 million coaches. It's for the coaches to go out and change and serve.
Speaker: all those people. Through what we call a real coach method And the neat part about that is is that is the job now of the coaches who don't work for me. They are just community members.
Speaker: to go out and build these businesses. That can. Be. In that same breath. very focused not on success, but on significance. And it works.
Speaker: Right. Alright. So. Uh -oh. My camera just shut off. Sorry about that. Technology.
Speaker: Technology, got to love it. I was a guest on another show today and the host accidentally instead of scheduling it for 12 pm eastern Scheduled it for midnight.
Speaker: oh Yesterday. And actually opened like a 12 hour live event. And this morning, it was like panic. Oh my gosh. like Ugh. The technology. ah Yeah.
Speaker: But that's authenticity, which is Perfect. because during our call You. Talk to me about how... You had been the inauthentic one.
Speaker: And when you were that version of yourself, you didn't sleep very well at night. Today, You sleep like a baby. And I want to go there.
Speaker: because that really landed. for me. What did that actually look like? being the authentic one in practice. At first it felt unnatural.
Speaker: It felt too... ah vulnerable. It felt. It was a... I had to learn it.
Speaker: But here's the crazy part. is it wasn't a learned skill. It was a skill that had been masked. It was a skill that had been covered up. It was a skill that...
Speaker: Had always been there. but had been. Just totally covered up. to create this persona. of a individual who performs, right? A performance driven dude.
Speaker: And when the authenticness showed up. My relationship with my wife got better. My relationship with my kids got better. our relationship with our community members, my team members.
Speaker: And all of that had set in a little bit before. we We got to the size that we are. Man my relationship with my mother my sister my family was I was able to be more present.
Speaker: And engaged and be curious with my questions versus either closing in questions or making them about me. That was a real awakening there where it just turned into.
Speaker: I want more of that. Give me more of that and the more I got of it the easier it got the more I got of it the calmer I became. My cortisol levels are at an all -time low right now.
Speaker: And my doctor. Dr. Ryan is like. Keep doing it. Whatever you're doing, keep doing it. and It could be the fact that I also get to look at amazing water views all day every day and the calmingness of water too. That's a whole nother podcast.
Speaker: But at the same time, it's just... Yeah. Chill is a silly little word, but I'll use that. It just feels. relaxed and chilled. And I get that because I think a lot of that.
Speaker: higher cortisol and the stress is from your trying to hold up the walls and the masks. one of my recent guests said he realized he was standing in the room holding the crumbling walls up.
Speaker: So good. And. when he realize like, I just need to let it go. Just let it go and let it fall. Because... That's...
Speaker: where I can... rebuild from i love that you said it wasn't learning it wasn't learning something new It was almost unlearning the stuff that had buried it. yeah Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. And that comes back to the pose, right? You are in a posed position for so long. And you've got to actually unlearn the pose to get to your authentic self.
Speaker: You've got to do that. And the only way to do that is to, again, stay in that lane as much as possible. Versus the other lane which. has a dead end. And. I've heard it this way right.
Speaker: your behavior. becomes your habits. Sure. Your habits become your character. Mm hmm.
Speaker: and your role. And then that... concretizes that hardens to become an identity. that's right and that's That's what's...
Speaker: people find difficulty in shifting right because it's It's like when I work with... English Learners and they have what we call fossil errors. They've made the same error so many times, even though intellectually they know.
Speaker: The right way, it's still... comes. with the same error. Yep. All right, you said... 20 years ago Never could have been a coach. because it It was the all about me. The ego was running full bore.
Speaker: Today you work with coaches in the middle of their own Transition. When you look at someone who's stuck in that When it all costs.
Speaker: that's just part of the price of the admission. yeah
Speaker: They don't know it yet. What do you see? Well... imposter syndrome. but I know that they are. in an inauthentic state. So when I say we have a real coach method, that's not an arrogant term. It's an acronym that stands for relevant.
Speaker: experiential. Authentic leaders. Because we believe everyone should be a real coach. And the neat part is when people step into. A coaching lane.
Speaker: And they think they need to be in a performance. lane. And yet they feel. that there's this imposter syndrome. Another being inauthentic.
Speaker: I know they're being success focused. I know they're chasing the dollar. Because at the end of the day. We have a whole sequence on how we help coaches build their coaching business. And it all comes down to what we call the payoff.
Speaker: And a mentor and coach of mine, Rory Vaden, who wrote the book Wealthy and Well -Known. says that you're most powerfully positioned to serve the person who you used to be. And so when these coaches come in and they're in that state of imposter syndrome, I know they're performing.
Speaker: but They're performing because they feel. that they need to look good and be right. That's ego! Stop! Stop, stop, stop, stop. Let's go back. Let's look at the payoff. What are people getting when they work with you?
Speaker: X. Great. Now. Where in your life have you solved for X? Oh I haven't. So why are you coaching it? Don't coach that. You've never done it before. If you came to me and said, Adam, I want you to coach me on how to make a billion dollars.
Speaker: And I said, yes. I wouldn't sleep at night. Because I've never done it before. But if you came to me and said, hey, Adam, I need your help in building a seven -figure coaching business. Great, no problem.
Speaker: I can help you with that with my eyes closed. Because. I know that's my authentic lane. I know that I've been there and done that. And when these coaches come in. And they have to go through this. They have to go through this. Our phase one of our blueprint, we call it going inside to go out.
Speaker: And they've got to go inside first. It's so fascinating to me to watch when people come in and build coaching businesses, and yet they won't even go on social media to change their profile bio that says.
Speaker: Coach. ah They won't go do it, right? Or their signature on their email or something along those lines because they're afraid of what someone else will think of them. Get out of here. We got to have a different conversation then.
Speaker: yeah yeah Absolutely. And I heard this recently. I did some work with someone. massive shifts over a 30 -day period. Beautiful testimonial.
Speaker: Ask to be anonymized. Hmm. Because... I coach people on this stuff. What if they knew that... I struggle with it.
Speaker: Sure. Right. it As you said, it's the ego. It's that I have to put on the game face. and show that my life is perfect.
Speaker: And that's... That's worse. The high cortisol, the stress. that the sleepless nights the Burnout. Yep.
Speaker: what he here's what When not being authentic. You can't build from that state. If your cortisol level, if your stress level, if your whatever burnout level is so high, your creativity.
Speaker: Become zero or nonexistent. It goes down. yeah It's gone. yeah It's in the basement. So if you don't feeling a sense of creativeness. You need to check that i I've got a white wall here, a white board in my office. I've got a bunch out here in what we call the war room.
Speaker: And that's because I need spaces to dump what's up here. And if I don't dump stuff up there, then I get what's called mental constipation, right? But at the same time, I know that is a good space to be when I have to dump. That means...
Speaker: I'm not stressed. That means that my cortisol level is low. That means that my creativeness is high, which means I'm in an ideal state. of authenticness. That's how I measure.
Speaker: Yeah. and For me, I have my personal Wiki. Like it's this collection of Like you said, dumping thoughts. When a thought comes, get it get it recorded somewhere.
Speaker: Yep. Get it out. So the space is available. As you said, for creativity, for problem solving.
Speaker: So... The people listening to this are... leaders who By all external measures, they're successful. They hit the goals.
Speaker: They built something. They've got the trophies. My last guest had a seven -foot wall of trophies. wow and stood in front of it and said,
Speaker: What's the point?
Speaker: yeah what's the point like Sure.
Speaker: And like you said... These people are sitting there with a success, whatever. But inside... They're feeling that. Off. Right? Yep. Yep. Bit.
Speaker: The old version of success, it's not. Enough. but they don't. yet have the name for it. Yeah. You've been inside that. so Tell us what you know.
Speaker: we got to identify it all first right that's your four that is your four stages stages Identifying the container that you're in, stage one. Stage two is identifying your uncertainty.
Speaker: but You're feeling it right now. But you've got to lean into it. You've got to step into it. You've got to go understand what is causing that uncertainty. Because most people push it away.
Speaker: Stage three is now creating clarity. Right? When you have uncertainty, that's there for a reason. You have to go create clarity. on what you need to...
Speaker: Lean into, create clarity on what's causing uncertainty and lean into, okay, what am I being called to do next? What is that? What am I feeling? What would cause me to step into a more authentic self?
Speaker: State of myself. And the last one is truly your ownership. Or you've got to take ownership of what's on the other side of that fence. You don't need to jump the fence. but you at least need to know what is there.
Speaker: Because if you don't, that feeling is going to stay. It's going to. Pikachu. it's going to get to a point where you're like, Gosh, do I really want to be a 70 year old tennis pro in Beverly Hills?
Speaker: No. I didn't. which is why I got out of that. Did I really want to continue to fight with the politics and the red tape and the limited growth potential of serving people in the real estate container?
Speaker: No. But if I didn't lean into. finding clarity. And writing the white paper. I wrote a white paper on this community back in 2009. And it was. actually called a tribe back then. And it was truly, it says on the white paper, to become the coaching tribe known around the world is what I put.
Speaker: And. Here we are now. We've served coaches on four continents. And it's just. it's so amazing but had i have not gone through those four stages of the container understanding that of going into an uncertainty of going to that space of clarity and then taking ownership of that clarity we wouldn't be having this conversation today Likewise.
Speaker: Mike. Yep. Yeah, you've got to go through those steps. And often. In the midst of it, as we said, you're not feeling You feel like something's off.
Speaker: But you can't put your finger on it. Yeah, that's right. That's right. But standing where we are today and looking back, you can go, oh. Bam. bam There it is there for this. bam that would that's that happened because of this This is what I was supposed to learn.
Speaker: yep Very true.
Speaker: All right, any closing words, Adam, before we wrap up the recording? This has been incredible. You've been an incredible facilitator of questions. This has been a lot of fun. Any closing words?
Speaker: Trust the process. It's okay. You know, if I could go back and do it all over again, I would instantly go develop a board of advisors for myself. Right instead of staying in that space of self -reliance. I would Find my board of advisors.
Speaker: from all over. right and Trust. That I could share that feeling of. uncertainty. I have this feeling of uncertainty.
Speaker: How do I get out of it? right What should I do? I'm feeling something. Share it with that board of advisors and then... Sit back and sit on your hands and just listen for feedback. right And secondly.
Speaker: If you're feeling that you are being called into a coaching space, great. Come check me out. I love coachingco .com forward slash get paid to coach, right? We have a guide that just teaches you how to take your experience and turn it into a coaching business.
Speaker: or a business that you're not an amateur in, right? You're already answering questions for people. Why not get paid for it? And that's what we help people do. And not just get paid. but make that impact.
Speaker: That's right. Serve and get paid and have that impact. That's right. I don't remember who said it. You might know. But I heard it. like The.
Speaker: The money, the success you see. Real success, not that. performance success we talked about. It shows you the impact when it's real, you make more impact.
Speaker: And your we'll say your wealth, your wealth grows. that's right when i say wealth i don't mean fancy cars or money or big houses, but... True Wealth. Yep.
Speaker: Agree. it Totally does. And that's what John has taught me, that focusing on significance. will increase your success. So here we are today. and I loved being on this show. Thank you for all that. Yeah. And again, and
Speaker: If they want to come talk to me, I would be happy to chat with any of your listeners on anything. Just go find me on Instagram. Adam R. Roach is two R's there in the middle. And DM me whatever you want to. You'll see me on there. It's a very lifestyle -oriented page. It's not all about coaching. You can go to my YouTube for my coaching. Same thing. It's just YouTube, Adam R. Roach, and that's where the coaching stuff lives.
Speaker: Very good. Thank you so much for carving the time out and I know we had a little Glitch. on the original scheduled date but you rode through it and i'm glad Glad we made it here today.
Speaker: Thank you everybody for listening. We'll catch you on the next episode. Thanks, guys. See you. Bye. We spend a lot of time on this show talking about the threshold. The space.
