Nonsensical Nonsense 214 Here comes the Kluwe

Transcript

Speaker: Yes.

Speaker: Welcome, welcome. That was the official

Speaker: Start of nonsensical nonsense. What's going on, everybody? I'm Glink. We got Tony D in the building. We got Jeffrey in the building, like always. Hopefully you guys are having a good week so far. Happy Hope Day, motherfuckers.

Speaker: If you're not already, go ahead and check us out on all them social medias, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. Don't forget you can join us live every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday right here on YouTube and Twitch at 6 PM. You can come in and hang out in the chatters box. Shoot your shit with us. All that fun jazz. And if you can't join us live, don't worry. Your boy's got you covered. You can listen to us anytime, any place on Spotify and everywhere you listen to podcasts at.

Speaker: so do yourselves a favor go give us a follow give us a like give us a share and for the love of god do not forget to turn on your notifications so you know what we do when we do how we do baby baby you don't like my biggie impersonation tony well i mean you could give me some kind of moral support i have good time

Speaker: You know, the microphone usually works better if it's on your big dummy. So, so Tony is taking the role of me.

Speaker: hitting the wrong button and abruptly end of the show. You've now taken the role of the mime on the show and talking with your mic off and I'm just greatness like always. That's debatable. I'm just saying. That's as Tony just said the the world's greatest. What's going on Cam? That's debatable.

Speaker: I am actually genuinely excited for tonight's show, I gotta say. And I literally, I think I told everyone today. So no pressure, boys. Just don't ask them stupid.

Speaker: who are you talking to? You know, you're talking to Jeff, right? Have you met him? I was like, I was like, Tony, is this your first show? Come on, man. Tony, do you have like to introduce you to Jeff? Uh, he's, he's the guy who likes to say incredibly stupid stuff, ask incredibly dumb questions and also be incredibly racist and inappropriate at the wrong moment.

Speaker: I have a question. I said hi mama Glick. I said hi. I didn't even say hi to him. By the way, by the way, Joe, we're a minute late. Calm down. We weren't even a minute late. It's 6 PM and we're live and she's commenting. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

Speaker: It's been a day, gentlemen. It's been a week so long. Yeah. I had a rough day today. Tony's already exhausted. I am. I am. I got a house full of teenagers. I was done, too, but it was just a tough day and a lot of stuff I needed to do afterwards. You start like stupid early, though, right? Yeah. I got to get up at 4 .30 to be the work on time. Oh, gross. Gross. I'm waking up. I'm going to bed at that time.

Speaker: I'm waking up at four thirty. Roll it over. Realizing that it's four thirty and go on. Huh. I can go back to sleep for another hour and some change. Not quite two hours. You lie. You lie like because I know what you do at four o 'clock in the morning. You wake up and you go, damn it, I gotta piss again. No, not at four o 'clock in the morning. Oh, no, I do. I can make it through the night without having to wake up. Co -potty. It depends. It depends. Podcast night.

Speaker: What, saying potty? Yes. I say it all the time because mainly that's how, you know, we talk to the kids. And so it sticks. It sticks and you end up using it and sounding like a goo. But yeah, I use it all the time. What do you say? I have to go to the rest room. I gotta use the bathroom. I gotta pick a piss. Sorry that I'm a little bit more professional than you. Are you really?

Speaker: I am. I literally say, excuse me. I must go use the facilities. Or I'll say, I'm going to go urinate you some bitches. I got to piss like a Russian racehorse on race day. With a rubber truck, with a glue truck behind you. Unbelievable.

Speaker: what was it? Cat Williamson? I got a piss like a race horse a turkey with a watch it. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy.

Speaker: I love that video. I'm trying to work on an interview with a rapper that's been out before I talked to one of the guys I knew at work. I was playing some music in the background and he heard it and it's a rapper from Ohio. He said, well, he used to, the rapper stays not too far from where he is a relative at. I love the interview on one day telling myself what's happening. Cause I like this first album. Ray Cash.

Speaker: You've heard of him? I probably have. You've got a song called Bumping My Music. It's phenomenal. I said that one rapper from Ohio to Chris. He was like, really? Bumping. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music. Bumping my music.

Speaker: Yeah. What's going on, Joe Ward? Sorry about that, buddy. I hate Facebook and the fact that it doesn't say who comments. I hate you. I can play a little bit of it. Yes, it's Ray Cash featuring Scarface. Yeah. I can play a little bit of it. No, it's not. Shut up, Jeff.

Speaker: I would like to discover my own sweet time You never heard it

Speaker: It sounds vaguely familiar. Yeah. It looks like 0405 though. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Jumping. If you had a system. Oh, man. Oh, yeah. I bet. I bet. Absolutely, Joe. That would be gotta get on this one. Just turn this down.

Speaker: Now I can see the face. Where's he? Where's he from in Ohio? Oh, my great song. Kind of raw, very pimpish, but it was, I thought it was dope. Where's he from in Ohio? Do you know? I think Cleveland. I wonder if my buddy would know who he is. He's in the kind of sort of in the rap game. He's from Columbus area. If he's in the rap game and he's in Ohio, it's like a really young man.

Speaker: Well, I mean, even I know. Dude got three singles, or two singles and two albums out. Two albums, two singles. The two singles were pretty good singles to me. I had a CD. The CD was actually great. I played a couple times. You know, when I did my road trips, I would have let the CDs play. And if you catch me on the first impression, I got to give you a prize. And it was good. He came over and said, yes, I came out. I thought both of them had good CDs that just didn't get enough airplay.

Speaker: I'll check that out. Check it out. Thank you. Check out my melody. That is the sound of the police. No, no, no.

Speaker: We're doing a remake, Tony D. Come on, man. We can remake a bunch of rap songs. I have to go. I love it when they call me Big Papa.

Speaker: I never heard about that song until I saw the movie and I was like, I kind of like this song.

Speaker: as soon as I step on the scene bitches this is this is exactly what I was doing on tiktok that you made fun of me because I was I was reading it like spoken word poetry and you're like but I'm doing it I'm doing rap as a white guy I'm being white I know you're just I need a rap song you're just Jeff

Speaker: I did WAP as a court poetry. Oh, I get it. Since I was just, cause it's just Jeff, no matter what I do, it's not cool, right? Yeah, it's not. I get it. Sorry. I don't make the rules. I don't make the rules. You know, I just played the game. Understood. No, understood. 100%. Don't hit the player. I get it. Play your role.

Speaker: The inappropriate racist guy. Shut up and play your role. Yeah, I get it. Sorry, I forgot. I have to get in my worst racist in America outfit. I'm the funny guy. I can't see shit on this thing. Oh shit, I ripped mine.

Speaker: I was on TikTok last night. That clip came up. I fucking sat there and laughed my ass off for 20 minutes. I can't see shit out of this thing. Well, fine. I'm not saying we don't appreciate it. No, we don't have another bag.

Speaker: This is the last time you asked one of mine to help you guys out. That's so fucked up.

Speaker: Oh. Tony doesn't want to laugh. Look at him. He doesn't want to laugh, but he can't help it. I guess Tony's role on the show is a super serious one. I can't see shit out of his face. I can't see shit out of his face. I can't see shit out of his face.

Speaker: Sorry, I had to go raise this. Go imagine that. I was listening to one of the many episodes where both Tony and I told you repeatedly to stop talking and you just kept digging your hole. Hey, half shovel will travel. What can I say?

Speaker: Yeah, and we finally just came up and just started talking to ourselves. Well, yeah, you know, he's not gonna stop. He's just gonna keep talking. He's just gonna keep going. I'll just stay out of it. Well, yeah, this motherfucker just never shuts up, like, while you're ahead, goddamn it. Once again, is this your first day? You're just like, oh, wait, shit, he can unmute his goddamn mic. Uh, I do have a question for you, Chris.

Speaker: now uh and tony this does not this question is not for you but chris do you like booties when you when you look at a woman answer the question yes or no i'm leaning off camera yeah i know i know i'm walking into like i'm walking into a

Speaker: This is not a setup, I promise. I swear. I have never been much of an ass man until recently. Because you haven't even got a booty, right? Yeah. Yeah, see? Apparently, it is now deemed racist if you're a white guy and you like the booty. It's racist if you're white and you like the booty? Is it cultural appropriation? Yeah, because it's technically a black guy thing.

Speaker: I saw that today. Wait a minute. Why do we ask Tony that question? Well, the reason why I didn't ask Tony is because Tony's already black soul. He likes a booty, right? Maybe he doesn't. You can't speak for that man. So once again, that makes me super racist because my wife's got a beautiful booty. You can't speak for that man. You don't know if he likes booties or not. He may be a tit man. I'm a breast man.

Speaker: see, but you like booty, but I'm a breast man booty. Exactly. That was me. Yeah. Like I could appreciate it too. I'm a shaft. I wasn't obsessed with one until, until recently. You know what? I, I want to agree with you before I met my wife. I was like, yeah, take it or leave it. I met my wife and I was like, yeah, I kind of like the booty.

Speaker: I still, I still, still prefer the breasticles, but, uh, you know, I've learned to appreciate. I'm not swelled up booty. It all comes down to one thing. Tony's like, I'm not having any part of this fucking bullshit. Well, as we learned this weekend, Tony has to mind his P's and Q's.

Speaker: That's right. Behave, young man. Behave, Tony T. Or else. Finger wagging will commence. No, no, no, no, no. My wife being part Italian, she does one of these. She doesn't finger wag. She does this. You're part Italian? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you a dead motherfucker. Right?

Speaker: Uh, so she's a woman like half man, like, no, because there's Tina and Latinos, Latinos are male, Latina. What do you have? She's full of crazy. She has a chick. He has somebody who's going to straighten him the fuck out. That's what we meant. One way or another, she will straighten me out. First, she'll yell at me and do this. And then when I don't listen, she'll fuck me in the face. She hit him with a chukla. Chukla.

Speaker: from three states away. Oh, that woman use that. She fucking crocodile Dundee. Now, is she part Australian too? You never know. My mother -in -law, I've seen my mother -in -law whip whip a a chunk across the room at her kids.

Speaker: And it, and I love to watch. I'm just like, cause you can see her. She slowly start lifting her foot and slide that top off and I keep telling her I'm going to build me a firing range just so she can practice break bottles across the yard. No, it's usually the kids. It's never been me.

Speaker: I just heard one of my kids yell, I'm making rice, but they made tacos for dinner. I heard that. Yeah, what's the point? Rice is a new staple of Mexican culture. Plus I have a house full of teenagers. The boyfriend's here. Oh. The boyfriend's here. Bring him on. He looks like a fucking ginger Morgan Wallen right now.

Speaker: He looks like a ginger Morgan Wall. Hey, Ginger Wallen. Come here. Look at this goofy bastard. Get your mean face, Antonio. Where's Ginger Wallen? He's coming. He's right there. Oh, Ginger Wallen in the house. Just remember. What's up? How you doing? Whatever you do to her, we do to you. I'm glad I got going. He's all excited about that stuff. Oh, that figures.

Speaker: Yeah, she always dances with Tony. Do you ever see it? That's how I do it. You guys are dorks. Yeah. They dance to me. Kids love me. Kids love me. Yeah. They they they have their like every episode. That's because your soul is Santa Claus.

Speaker: At least you what? We got to give kids gifts. Give them gifts. Give them candy. Let them beat themselves. They'll love you. Be careful, Tony. Be careful, Tony. Tony, I tried to help each other. Look how plain for Bella. I'm going to walk into that. Listen, ice cream short comes. Let them go. Arcade? Let them go. Toys every now and then? Oh, 100%. No, no. Let them beat themselves. And I agree. They'll sit on the couch, watch TV all day. All you got to do is sit back. You ain't got to do nothing to let them beat themselves.

Speaker: They love it. No, that's called Daddy. That's called Daddy. That's Daddy, Uncle. Daddy 101. Daddy 101. Daddy 101 is let the kids be the one. Let them pull that TV on top of themselves. It's 1975. Let them drop that 500 pound TV on themselves. They'll only do it once. They will sit there and watch TV, eat candy, and be full, go to sleep. Right there. You ain't got to bother them for no. They just coasting. Leave them alone.

Speaker: Y 'all all right. All right. See y 'all later. Y 'all all right. See y 'all later. Check on every 20 minutes. Anybody still breathing? All right. They're getting a fair deal. They ain't going to go beat them. I ain't got to do nothing. They heard me. They know I hear them. They going to change their ways. Watch five minutes later and everybody's here. Leave them alone. My kids, I don't even have to go check on them every 20 minutes. Because I can hear them the whole time. What a million.

Speaker: when they when they get quiet, it's either when they get quiet, it's like, well, they're either asleep or one's dead. And at this point, Meatloaf said two out of three ain't bad. Hey, exactly. I love that song, by the way. Or or as Ivan Drago said, if he dies, he dies. He dies.

Speaker: Hey, I had three. I got two left. I'm doing pretty goddamn good at this dad thing, all right? Exactly. I mean, it's not like I'm Casey Anthony out here. I caught that up to a whip. Two out of three. I'm batting over 500 here. Yeah, exactly. At the end of the day... It's not like I'm Ofer like Casey Anthony.

Speaker: I'll take your reference is correct. I don't know. Jesus Christ. Have you really been living under a rock? No, I don't. I was like one of the biggest news stories. Anything sports related, I ignore. It's not sports related. There's a trick down the floor to that. Got away with murdering her little daughter. Okay. Oh, I'm sorry. You said batting. Yeah. Like at Google. South Carolina. No, it was Florida.

Speaker: It was Florida. I do remember that. Because the first thing I was like, I was like, oh, yeah, it's Florida. I get it. They're not too bright. I understand. Floor is done. Excuse me. It's the correction. Sorry. I spoke wrong. Floor done. Where the floor idiots live. You said it, Florida. I didn't. You said it. What? I've been saying that shit forever. Yeah. What if we never not picked on Florida? Go fuck. What's good?

Speaker: Way to, way to feed the stereotype, Golf Hawk. Way to fuel Jeff's fire, Golf Hawk. Thanks, buddy. Vindicated! I just, thank you, Golf. Vindicated. Vindicated. Why do I look like that? I want to go with the coaches in the hair. Bamboo earrings, at least two pair. At least two pair. Fendi bag and a bad attitude. That's all I need to give me in a good mood. I should go walk with a switch and talk with Street State.

Speaker: Love when I see a lady do what a thing. Standing at the bus stop sucking on lollipop. LL Cool just ran away girl. I need it around the way girl. I'm sorry. I thought we were singing. I thought we were singing along. Hey boys. Look what I got here. Hey, where are the white women at? We can tell anything then.

Speaker: look at Tony's finger. That's your finger. So shut your **** up. Ah, I see. I saw you. I said, Sal, what the hell did you start speaking Chinese? I said, I saw how you I saw how you saw the alcohols catching up already.

Speaker: Shut up. Sorry, it's going to date. I made my drink super strong. So you're forcing a classic rap song? Yeah, I did do that crazy. You just let us do our renditions of classic rap songs and leave us alone, all right? Your renditions are horrifying. Woo, woo. That's the sound of the police. Woo, woo. That's the sound. I refuse to manage Malibu's Most Wanted up here.

Speaker: I forgot about that movie, Jesus. That is a fantastic movie. I love me some Anthony Anderson and that dude cracked me up. I refuse to manage this shit, no. Get into your character. I'm not feeling it. They were walking so hard through that mall, I was tired. You validate for me.

Speaker: We from the boo, baby. I'm like, the what? There's some mayonnaise on it, Glick. Oh, there's some mayonnaise on it, Glick. Hey, you know what I do? I love it when they call me Big Papa. No, God, no.

Speaker: Biggie, biggie, biggie. Can't you? You gotta do it like you're William Shatter. You gotta make that long pause. No, you just gotta be white. You just gotta be white. You don't gotta be extra. You just gotta be white. Just be white, Jeff. You don't have to be extra. But I'm extra white. I'm practically clear. You are a saltine cracker that you get at all these. Calm down.

Speaker: Exactly, that's what I said. That is stale when you buy them brand new. I'm still white, I'm almost clear. Which reminds me, I'm changing my gender. I'm now... I'm trans now, boys. I'm transparent. You can see through me. You can see through the bullshit. We don't know about the rest of you. Don't be an asshole.

Speaker: Assholes are people who have no regard for other people, their feelings and their point of view. If you feel that you may be an asshole and are suffering from the assholism, there is help for you. Contact your local Assholes Anonymous hotline and be sure to check yourself into the Asshole Rehabilitation Centre for the benefit of everybody.

Speaker: I'm just saying. I think I should check myself before I wreck myself. I know rep too!

Speaker: No, you have to chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee, chickadee

Speaker: Tony's like, I hate white people so much. Tony, why did you kill a bunch of white people? Well, I'm on this podcast. And these two guys just drove me over the edge. Set him free. Not guilty.

Speaker: It's my people. The jury at Tony's trial after he kills a bunch of white people with this, they're forced to watch 22 episodes of the podcast. They're like, not guilty. Stop encouraging him, Golf Hawk. What are you doing? Transparent with a bunch of laughing emojis. See?

Speaker: I have my... I just said our guest in it. I just said our guest in my cell. Oh, time to get serious. Well... No. Guess our serious face is on boys. I'm nervous. This is bullshit already. World's greatest hype man, folks.

Speaker: world's greatest hype man world's greatest unhypus we've been doing that so much during the show Tony just go silent make a point of the booty

Speaker: I just I could picture like five years from now until he walking down the street going Oh

Speaker: They might be different names for each one of her personal. I honestly, I think it's Hannah. What are you pointing at, Tony D? There's nobody down there. The whole camera angle thing on this app drives me insane. Because I'm like, oh, yeah, this guy. God damn it. It's easy. That guy. Look, bang, bang, bang. Pew, pew, pew, pew. It's still reversed for me.

Speaker: I got my pew pew out. Yeah. Now, I think her name's Anna. That's Austin's BFF. I see. She came over. She was over. When the hell was she over? Monday night. She was she was over Monday night and spent the night. Bye dad. Bye princess. What? What did he say? He said bye dad.

Speaker: No, what did you say after that? Have fun over there, what? I said, have fun, princess. And I patted him on his face. He said, something happened with your 12 viewers? No, I think he said something about, have fun with your podcast or some shit. Oh. I thought he said with your 12 viewers. And I was like, listen, little boy. We have 13. So. Unbelievable. We got 12 and a half.

Speaker: Chris, I don't even. Chris, I don't even. I just don't. I just don't. That's a 1 out. 13. You have 12 lurkers. No. I've decided that those are our biggest fans. Oh, 100%. The ones that just lurk on us and watch us and screen record and stuff like that. Those are our number one fans. And we should appreciate them more. So shout out to the lurkers.

Speaker: You guys are awesome. I call it the Howard Stern Effect. That beer is for you. I call it the Howard Stern Effect. When Howard Stern first came out, people that loved the show would listen for an hour and a half. People that hated the show would listen for two hours. Oh, yeah. No. We want to know what he's going to say next. Yeah. Exactly. You know, my favorite morning show

Speaker: I listen to every morning the Mike couches show down there in Tampa. I don't want to 2 .5 the bone of him. He says that all the time people will call in or they'll, they'll, they'll comment on, on his, uh, like his, uh, like his social media and shit. It'd be like, Oh, I hate your show so much. You guys suck so bad. And he was like, yeah, but you listened for the whole four hours.

Speaker: Yeah. No, I don't. Well, because then you comment on something we said that it's your analytically counting as the fuck down. Exactly. At the end of the day, Cat Williams, everything goes back to Cat Williams for me, apparently. But he said it best. If you have 10 haters, you need to figure out how to get to 15.

Speaker: Because at the end of the day, the haters are always going to push you to the next level. I'm paraphrasing, of course. Because I can't say that. What if you only have haters? What if you only have haters? That's us. Chris, I hate to be the bearer of magic. Stop smoking. Who said so? Mama Jo.

Speaker: I'm a shout out to the bird King. Yep. Champs here. Champs here, Chris technician. Chris, I gave your, um, your other nickname. I mentioned to a client today that we call you redneck Gandalf and she laughed so hard. She almost, she dropped the phone.

Speaker: She picked up her phone. She picked up her phone. She's like, I **** pictured that. First, first and foremost, first and foremost, I'm gonna need you to give Papa respect on who gave me that name and that's our boy Brian. Regardless of his nerd, nerd dumb. I do. It's just a white friend. Hey man, Kyle Williams is speaking the truth about having white friends. I know. Trust me.

Speaker: But your black friends tell the white friends when stuff is not appropriate. Listen, we got the streets. Y 'all got the law. Let's make a deal. I like it. I like it. Let's make a deal. Jeff, you don't ever listen to your black friend. At the end of the day, you can give me advice all day. That doesn't mean I'm going to follow it.

Speaker: And that's why Jeff said, get you some white friends. He didn't say, listen to your friends. Jeff's our Mexican friend because apparently he doesn't speak English. He doesn't understand English. He speaks it. He just doesn't understand it. No, no, no. Okay. Okay.

Speaker: watch the case watch the case watch the case why did your case come in yeah why did your case come in the form of three

Speaker: I wasn't the only one counting it, but I'm going to be the one that's going to call you out. I'm not the worst racist on America for no reason. You said yo ass on that part of the Gulf. I'm alright.

Speaker: build the wall, right? Tony build the wall. Tony's like, you know, Trump was right. We should build that wall. Trump on something. I just gotta say, the more you tell, the more it makes sense. Keep it up.

Speaker: We have the audio for that. If we work hard enough to get Tony to vote for Trump, he's like, you know what? He's going to post a picture. He's going to post a picture on Facebook, holding his ballot, 2024 card, where he punched Trump. Click, click, click.

Speaker: He's like, well, just trying to keep Jeff out of America. Well, Joe, it sounds like K when they say it. Yes, it does. It can be Q, but it sounds like K. It doesn't sound like Q. The funny one is the other reference for what? Is somebody goes, somebody will look at you and go, Monday?

Speaker: It means like, what did you say? Every time my mother -in -law says it, I go, no, it's Thursday. Calm down. Monday's not for another couple of days. Qui. Qui. Qui. Qui. Qui. I have to give a pause in between. Qui. Quiz. No, it's Qui. You're saying it wrong. It's Qui. I hear it every day. It's Qui.

Speaker: I heard it enough in my life that I, I don't know, I don't care if it's Q or it's a K or it's a J or - Q and on. Yeah. It sounds like a K. It sounds like K. I, you know. I just figured it out. Tony's Q and on. On what? You're Q and O is that.

Speaker: Oro, vato. Oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro, oro,

Speaker: Sorry. Did you see the news? No, no. They're about to interview Sean Payton. Sean Payton is not going to Houston. Somebody else was interviewing Sean Payton. Who else got fired? Somebody else was interviewing Sean Payton too. New Orleans. New Orleans still has has him under contract, I believe.

Speaker: Yeah, they used to take the contract out. That's what they do. Bounce over here, we'll take care of him. Yeah, but somebody else had talks with him. I did see that. I didn't see that Houston did. It was me. I had talks with him. It's all to you still. But it's not the coaching that's the problem in Houston. Have you seen the team? David Mills is our goddamn quarterback. Who? Exactly. It might be the organization.

Speaker: Oh, I'm pretty sure I'm pretty sure you said you were staying out of the chatter's box tonight. I see somebody's on their bullshit.

Speaker: Well, this one, this one, hey, for the first time, for the first time, this one goes out to the chatter's box. Don't beat yourself up over past mistakes. You are going to **** that one. They look alike. Hey, Nikki.

Speaker: That's what I thought it was. I never heard that. That's new to me.

Speaker: I didn't even hear what she said. Yeah, she said that. She said dad. Yeah, she said that. Instagram like when I sing in former. I know. Tacos. Christopher. Austin, what did you say? Yes, it's charted.

Speaker: I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker: Yeah. Well, with meat in it, you know, ground beef. Uh, I did see something cool that I, that's called hamburger helper. Pretty much. Hey man, I ain't gonna sit on hamburger helper. I love me. It's a hamburger helper. As Randy, Randy said, you don't even need a hamburger. Hey, there's times where the kids ain't here. I'll make a hamburger helper for myself for dinner. Cause them sons of bitches are delicious.

Speaker: Oh, hell yeah. No, but I saw something on TikTok yesterday and I said, I'm going to have to make that. How you doing? You have one of those automatic waffle makers where you pour the batter in and then close the lid. It's called a waffle maker. It's not an automatic. It's not like you put all the mixture in there and it mixes it and then it pours it. Oh, my God. It's just a waffle maker, man.

Speaker: Anyways, you take a waffle maker and you go get you some pre -cut fries, you know, the frozen ones, and you put them in there, shred cheese on it, and then close the lid. And it basically creates a bun for your hamburger. Instead of using bread, you use french fries. And why, and ladies and gentlemen, this is why Jeff is not gonna make it to 45.

Speaker: I haven't made it yet, but I'm like, you know what? Somebody clean the waffle maker. I actually seen a recipe that sounds really actually pretty, pretty daggone good using a waffle maker. Get the cornbread mix. Right. Then put it in there and then just make chili and put your chili and stuff on top of the cornbread. You're talking like a hot pocket kind of style. No, no, no, you just, no, you make the, you make the cornbread waffle.

Speaker: and then you put it on your plate and then you put the chili on top of it and put your cheese or sour cream or peanut butter or whatever you like to put in your chili. Yes, I said peanut butter, Tony, because apparently that's a thing. I've never done it, but apparently that's a thing. Wait. Peanut butter in your chili. In your chili? Yes. Were they from Florida? Yes. Actually, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, yeah. Yeah. I rest my case.

Speaker: I had to think about that because yeah, they were. What's what's keto or keto? You know, you know, it's like, it's like, you know, Kato Kailin. We all know Kato. You remember Kato.

Speaker: No, it's not keto, it's chili. No, the keto diet, the keto diet, you remove certain things out of your body. But yeah, peanut butter, peanut butter bread, I've heard that. And I think I have done that before. But people put peanut butter in their chili and like stir it in. But a scoop of peanut butter? That's disgusting. Yeah. I mean, I don't know because like Nikki just said that her dad eats peanut butter bread with his chili, which I've done that before. That makes sense. But I've never thought about putting peanut butter.

Speaker: Yeah, you're just dipping it. Yeah, I'm out. I'm out. So basically, you're just like dipping it into sauce. Nikki? Well, I could make cornbread. I am not a lazy ass because I'm adding, because it's just cool. You get a little waffle shape and you put your chili on top of it. I don't know. You're correct, Stevie. You're correct.

Speaker: Chili. Chili. Chili. You know what, Mickey? Chili is right. You could not be wrong. Donnie, how you doing? I'm not going to have this discussion with her, because my dumb ass is out there making chili when she's here. And apparently, I forgot the conversation we had about her not liking chili. That's on you, dude. I got a side video now, and that's on you. Chili is good if you get the right ingredients. No, I get that. The classic chili, the meat.

Speaker: Beans, meat sauce, or tomato sauce. Add whatever the hell you want to it. Now you sound like cash. You have the palette of a nine year old boy. Beans can be terrible, but beans are like, it's like a security force inside of your intestines. Everybody out. Nice. I had to think about what you said, but as soon as you said everybody out, I was like, I get it. Really noted.

Speaker: Everybody out. Was that the whole stand up routine about mixing alcohol and stuff like that? And he said like, I don't know, I think he said like beer or something like that was the bouncer, but then you start inviting like whiskey and bourbon and then the fucking tequila shows up and that's when all hell breaks loose. Yeah, that's when everybody has to get the fuck out.

Speaker: That was a random comment, Donny. I don't know if it was a comment to what we were talking about or if you're just referencing that you're maybe watching Goodfellas, which is a good fucking movie. Goodfellas sucks. What? I said Goodfellas is awesome. How about some more?

Speaker: Toto is about to fight your ass. Toto is about to get on a plate like Peter Griffin and that chicken where Peter gets on the plate. The fries down where the chicken is. Just a piece of chicken. We're going to get a cutaway scene, family guy style.

Speaker: Tony at the airport, Tony getting on the plane, Tony getting off a Cancun. The entire time I'll come cool collected, then he walks up and started beating shit out of me. The greatest episode ever.

Speaker: I don't understand the keto diet. I don't know. I don't either. I don't know what keto is. No carbs. No carbs. Gross. So what, bread? Bread would be carbs. I never saw a diet that encouraged you to eat bacon. Oh, I'm in. Yeah. I'm 100 % in. Oh, I think I said that. I think I might have said that one. That's just my diet. Eat more bacon.

Speaker: I'm in. Me too. Does it really? Jeff's like, Jeff's like, Jeff's like. Wait, I'm going to go on a got time. Not so cheese fries, bacon, hamburger buns for my hamburger. Add extra bacon on my hamburger. Nikki, I ain't mad at that. Bacon, pickles, cream, cheese. I mean, maybe not together. Are you pregnant?

Speaker: Remember the conversation we were having earlier on the phone and I said just in case I have this in my closet and I know you like tequila and your bedroom's on the second floor. Remember that conversation we were on the phone earlier? Oh, I know. I know. I know. I know. Call on me. Call on me. I know.

Speaker: Bacon, pickles, and cream cheese are the best three things on. I don't know the first thing about keto, keto, whatever. I don't know. I know. It's called keto. I've heard keto. I never knew what it was. Whatever happened to Kato, Kato let me. He became irrelevant. We still don't know why he was irrelevant. He didn't know. He's wonderful. Obviously.

Speaker: I'm Tony. I'm Tony D. I'm 100 % ingredients with you right now. That comment right there. I'm 100 % of the ingredients with you. I don't know why you ever became relevant. Because you like all of me or certain that's how you came around. That's yet to be found out baby.

Speaker: Wow. That's more for today. Wow. That's more for today. Oh, the champ's in the house, boys. Champ's in the building. Shit. You got too good with that one. That is yet to be proven. You got too good with that one.

Speaker: Because I believe your exact words were, I think everything started... Emotional damage! I mean, you can say emotional damage all you want, but I believe that the exact words were, I think things are starting to grow back. I said, well, they better not!

Speaker: We're going to take them back out. I'm digging that hole. Deep digging that hole. She's like a part of my childhood. Jeff, your hole's so deep. No. There's no way I can get it. You have basically ducked through the train at this point. Jeff was somewhere around Middle Earth right now.

Speaker: Oh, you like that? You like that? That's good. I'm just hanging out with Frodo here. I'm about to break his mouth. Hang it up on there at the shower. Easy, Donny. Easy. Donny, Donny, you don't know the reference hashtag 25.

Speaker: I do and I don't even know what the full conversation is, but I can do the math because I know how Chris thinks because we're basically the same person. Chris, I just figured it out. You and I are going to be in a movie. We're going to remake the movie Twins.

Speaker: You're out of your goddamn mind if you think I want to reconstruct anything. Play the music. No, tell me. Tell me we couldn't be. We couldn't do that. Play the music. I can be Danny DeVito. You can be Schwarzenegger. See? See? And what would we do with it? All you have to do is play the fucking music. Oh, my God. Get to the choppa! Oh, wait. That was not a very good... Arnie. What? I was trying to do it, Arnie, and it was just spontaneous.

Speaker: I don't give a damn what anybody says. That's a great movie. It is a weird fucking movie, but it's Johnny Beck. Do you expect any less?

Speaker: Yeah, waiting on the next part of the therapy. I was kind of excited to find out Parker Robbie was going to be in it. But now that she's not, I'm kind of like, man, they canceled that. And I was like, that would have been cool. I mean, whatever. Shit, I missed all kinds of deleted a whole bunch of shit. I didn't realize I deleted. Let's take a real quick break.

Speaker: Move back here just a few minutes. Enjoy. We haven't done this in a while. Enjoy the band formerly known as Rum Springer, now known as Over and Out. Over and Out. Let's do Rebel Yell. That's a fun song. Yeah. With our cover of Rebel Yell. Check them out on social media at Over and Out. Go show the guys some love. I know I gotta get to one of their shows sometime soon. Take Nicky with me.

Speaker: But here's over and out with their cover of Rebel Yale. I can get the buttons to work. The buttons don't work.

Speaker: Last night, a little dancer came dancing to my door Last night, a little angel came pumping across my soul She said, come on baby, got a license for love And it's pretty expired, turning out from above Because in the midnight hour, she got more, more, more

Speaker: More, more, more with a ripple yell She cried more, more, more for more, more She don't like slavery She won't sit and breathe But when I'm tired and lonely She sees me to my feet What set you free and brought you to me, baby

Speaker: What sets you free? I need to hear about me Because in the midnight hour, she cried more, more, more With a rebel yell, she cried more, more

Speaker: Losing his own heaven So he thinks he could go from the seven I have been Well, he's out all night to collect a pair Or just alone just so long it don't mess up his head

Speaker: I love you

Speaker: I drive your tears of pain three thousand times for you I tell my soul and have none, babe For money to burn with you Cause I give you all and have none, babe

Speaker: Will there ever be a hell for God?

Speaker: Yes, sir. A little over and out with their cover of Rebel Yale. Appreciate y 'all listening and hopefully enjoying the show so far. Welcome back to 9cincical nonsense, everybody. Oh, there we go. That was a root in my ear.

Speaker: You guys are already going to check us out on social medias, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. Join us live Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday on YouTube and Twitch. And if you can't join us live, go ahead and listen to us on Spotify, all at nonsensical nonsense. Welcome back to the show. As you guys can see, if you're watching us live, we have a special guest in the house. I'd like to welcome, and you're going to have to forgive me. I hope I get your last name right.

Speaker: And if I don't feel free to yell at me, uh, former Minnesota Vikings punter, Chris Cluey nailed it. Nice. I've been practicing all week. We appreciate you joining. How are you doing tonight, man?

Speaker: Not too bad. It's just getting over some rain here in California and expecting some more on the weekend. So pretty happy about that because we can always use the water. But yeah, that's been cool. Nice, nice. As I said, guys, this is Chris from back in California. I was going to I was going to be one of the first things I asked you was if you had to still live in that God forsaken cold known as Minnesota. We did five years there and that was enough.

Speaker: I don't blame you. I'm I'm from the Midwest. I live in Ohio and I'm not a fan of the cold weather. I I left for 10 years and unfortunately had to come back to it. I'm counting on the days until I can get back down South myself. So yeah, there's there's something to be said for wearing sandals in December. It's. No, I'm not mad at that comment. I'm not mad at that at all. I like and you're and you're in California. You're California kids. You grew up in California.

Speaker: Yeah. So I was, I was born in Pennsylvania, but my parents moved to California when I was like one month old. So for all intents and purposes, yeah. Pretty much. Pretty much. And you went to college at UCLA. So you, I mean, you're just California guy your whole life.

Speaker: How much of a culture shock was that for you to go to Minnesota to play football? Right? So it was a little weird, but the thing is Minneapolis is actually way more progressive than I expected. That is a very liberal, progressive city. So that was actually really similar to being in California. Now, obviously, there's some differences with the weather and just regional differences.

Speaker: on the whole, like it was actually really cool. Now, you get like 10 minutes north of the city, you might run into some slightly different people. Sounds like my type of people that you might be referring to, but that's okay. That sounds like where Chris and I are from. Let's just say there were a lot of billboards that had some views. Yeah, exactly, exactly. I've seen those billboards, I think. Yes.

Speaker: Yeah, I think I think those billboards are still up back home, to be honest with you. They probably changed in 22 years. As a matter of fact, if Mr. Glick looks out his window, he can probably see one. Well, I live in a different world that's a world of its own right now. So I mean, we're just. My city's in a bubble. It's its own unique personality where I live. It's still 2012 there.

Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah, you might not be wrong about that. Yeah. Oh, I know. I grew up there. Yeah. I just want to take a real quick second. Chris, I want to introduce you to the guys. We got Tony D just over here beside me if you're looking at the boxes. It's going on, man. Not much. Yeah. Chill it, man. Chill it, chill it, chill it. Look at Jeff Lee. He's a Miss America, somebody. What is going on?

Speaker: Because I'm awesome, Tony. Do the parade wave. I'll do the royalty wave, yes. Chris gets it. This guy gets the royalty wave. Saves your wrist. You got to protect your wrist. The man is speaking truth, Tony. I don't know what to tell you. Get on the boat, Ernie. Get off. Rolling. I'm rolling.

Speaker: You know, I almost had a comment. Shout out Cam. Chris, I don't know if you can see the chatter's box on the side there. I do got to give Cam a shout out because Cam does a lot of behind the scenes stuff for us.

Speaker: with setting up interviews and doing some promotion, helping me with promotion and stuff like that. So shout out to CAM for reaching out to you and getting me on the show with us tonight. A lot of things that I want to get to, and I don't know how much time you have. We have all the time in the world.

Speaker: I don't know how much time you have. I do want to, I do want to kind of, I mean, I'm a huge football fan. I remember watching you play as soon as Cam was like, Hey, I'm sorry. I know who that is. I'm a huge football fan. And I mean, for, for, you know, this is going to sound really bad and I don't mean it to it. I do apologize in advance.

Speaker: for you, the position you played as a punter, you know, not many kickers get love. Oh yeah. No, that's, that's true. And you were, and you were, and you were known. Um, I mean, you're, you're, what do they call it in Minnesota? I know teams have like the ring of honor and stuff like that. What is the ball of America hall of fame or something like that.

Speaker: Uh, yeah, I don't know that I'm on that. I did make the, is the Metrodome all 25 team. Whereas like the best players of like the past 25 years. Um, I made that one. I'm not sure if they'll invite me back for any sort. And we're going to have that conversation. Oh, trust me. We're going to have that conversation. I want to, I want to talk a little bit about your career and some of the guys that you got to play with and stuff like that. And what it was like to be, to experience playing in the NFL, because, you know, new coming up.

Speaker: through high school and through college, you hear only 1 % of you guys are gonna make it in the NFL. You spent eight seasons with undrafted and signed by the Seattle Seahawks. You know this, these guys don't know this, the listeners don't know this. So you have to - This is mainly for my edification because I'm not the sports guy.

Speaker: I'm the guy that goes, I saw the movie once. Does that count? Right. And then you go over to Minnesota, you spend eight seasons with Minnesota. And like I said, for a punter, eight, for the most part, eight really good seasons, even through injury. It didn't seem like, you know, based off your stats and stuff like that, it did not seem like even with an injury, you were off your game.

Speaker: too much. Nope. Until your last, until your last, quote unquote your last season, quote unquote your last season. There might have been other factors involved.

Speaker: Perhaps. I'm going to drink to that answer. Maybe just some other factors that led to being cut. But what was it like to be? And I'm sure you've been asked these questions a million times. But what was it like to be in the NFL and to be in the NFL that long? Well, first off, it's really cool. Obviously, you can't say,

Speaker: I work at a job that literally only 1600 people work at in the entire world and not have it be cool. It's a very fun, but very stressful job. For me, it was growing up, I never really had much interest in football. My sports growing up were baseball and soccer. That's where I played.

Speaker: Like I always thought I would go to college for either a baseball scholarship as a pitcher or as a goalie for soccer. Like that was kind of my projected career path that I thought for myself. And then my freshman year in high school, I needed to fall sport because in California, soccer is a winter sport, baseball is a spring sport. So I was like, I don't want to do normal PE.

Speaker: I don't really like running that much. I don't want to do cross country. I'll try out football, right? Because I can kick a soccer ball really far, see if I can kick a football. Little did I know how much running was actually involved with football. Hell Week was a bit of a wake up. Yeah, it's like, well, one of my friends did cross country. And I was just like, maybe I should do that now. I'll stick with football. I'm already out here. I've already gotten used to the helmet. I can't go back now.

Speaker: But, but yeah, no. And then, so I played, played football four years in high school and by my senior year, it was becoming really evident that like, okay, yeah, this is going to be the path for me going forwards. Definitely get a scholarship and then, you know, might have a chance at the NFL. And yeah, you're absolutely right when you say, you know, when they tell you, you have like a 1 % of a 1 % chance of making it. Like that is true. And that, that's something I actually helped coach freshman football at the local high school. Now I do special teams and that's one of the things I tell the kids is like, Hey,

Speaker: have a backup plan. Don't rely on being a professional athlete as your career because it is like winning the lottery. You can be the most skilled athlete in the world, but you still also have to be lucky. You have to avoid injury. A team has to have room for you. There's so much chance that also goes into it that it's not all just hard work.

Speaker: You have to have that artwork. You have to have that driving dedication, but Luck also plays a really big part in it. So have that backup plan. Make sure you have something else that you are prepared to do in case the sports angle does not work out.

Speaker: Um, so be out. Uh, when I got into the NFL, like that was really a, it's almost a surreal moment. Right. Because, um, prior to that, like, um, I I'm a huge video gamer, like I'm a huge nerd. I love playing video games. And the funny thing is I never played on that too. Right. Oh yeah. Yeah. We'll get to that. Um, the funny thing is though, is I never played sports games. Like for that's the only genre I didn't like, like I didn't like sports games and pretty much the only one I ever played was in college, um, with, uh, with my roommate.

Speaker: was NFL 2K1 on the Dreamcast, which was just actually a really cool sports game. It sucked me in. I was like, wow, this is actually fun. And the Rip Dreamcast. So I get out on the field with Seattle, right, for my first practice in the preseason. I'm like, holy crap, that's Steve Hutchinson. That's Matt Hasselbeck. That's Sean Alexander. I knew from video games, right? It's like, now I'm on the same field as them. This is really weird.

Speaker: But at the same time, it's also like I'm competing for a job. I can't let that go to my head or anything or be thinking about that because if I'm thinking about that, I'm not thinking about punning. If I'm not thinking about punning, I'm probably not going to be out here for very long. Exactly.

Speaker: Well, that actually brings up a question I had. Throughout your career, what is the most starstruck you've been? I mean, you know, we, you know, of course, you're a celebrity, so we're mildly starstruck. Like Z -list. But compared to us, we're like not even on the list, unless you're from Puerto Rico, so. Well, no, Dominican Republic.

Speaker: Sorry, sorry, I apologize. We're huge in the DR for some reason. Okay, nice. And I think it's because they speak Spanish and can't understand this. When you run into like, let's say, you know, you run into a celebrity, you're like, holy crap, it's you kind of thing. Have you ever had that happen to you? Um, yeah, I'd say probably the closest because I tend not to get too starstruck because, um,

Speaker: Like at the end of the day, people are people, right? Like we're all human beings. Probably the closest for me was when Brett Favre was our quarterback. Like when he got there - I was gonna ask you about Brett Favre. That's a guy whose name you know, right? Especially in the upper Midwest. You know his case properly, exactly. Right, exactly. It's Favre. Brett Favre. Yeah, it's Favre. F -A, Favre. There you go.

Speaker: So when he got on the team, that was definitely like, okay, wow. Here's a guy who is kind of like earned his name, right? If that makes sense. And that like, he is a competitor. He's out there to play and win.

Speaker: But the thing that was actually really cool about Brett was he was also very down to earth. He was not a guy who believed in his own hype, at least when he was around in the locker room when I was there. Because I've met guys who have believed in their own hype, and they're generally not very pleasant to be around. They think they're all - Keep talking, I'm starting my quick record. We actually work with one, I'm just saying. As he turns around and decides,

Speaker: So yeah, it was really cool to get a chance to actually play with a Hall of Fame player who everyone knew was going to be a Hall of Fame player.

Speaker: Not just that to have the opportunity to play with him for a season where like we actually talking about the 2009 season, uh, 2009, 2010, where we lost an NFC championship game. We're like that, that was pretty much the only season that I played in my time at the Vikings where it really felt like.

Speaker: we legit have a chance to win the whole thing. Because the previous seasons, we'd always had good teams. We had AP at running back. We had the Williams wall. We'd always had a really good defense. But it never really felt like, oh, this is going to be the year. It didn't really feel like things would break entirely our way or that everything was clicking entirely together.

Speaker: That first year that Brett got there, it was actually the San Francisco game, I think it's our third or fourth game of the season, when Greg Williams caught the pass at the back of the end zone as time ran out to win the game for us.

Speaker: Yeah, I think it was like the SP play of the year or something like that. And that far just basically heaves up this 40 yard wishing a prayer. It just goes exactly where it's supposed to. Somehow Greg makes this amazing catch. But yeah, that was kind of the year where it felt like, OK, yeah, things are falling in our favor. Like everything's clicking together. We have a chance to do the whole thing. And unfortunately, it didn't make it all the way. But I mean, that's football, right? Like I said, you got to be lucky as well is good. Yeah.

Speaker: Just to touch on something that you said earlier about you're coaching at your local high school now with the special teams and you're telling these kids, I've had this conversation with some college football players. I used to work at OSU forever and a day ago.

Speaker: some of the bars around around campus and you have conversations and that was one of the biggest things I've always said. These kids have the you know you may not make it in the NFL, but you're going to go some of these elite colleges for free. Right?

Speaker: Take, take advantage of that opportunity. It's get you an education. Um, I knew, I knew a couple of guys that played in the NFL, um, who even during their NFL career, we're still in school to finish their, finish their degrees. So in the off season, you would see them around, you would see them around OSU and they're like, yeah, I'm not going to play football forever. You know, so I could, I could have a season injury, uh, uh, a career ending injury tomorrow.

Speaker: I got to have something to fall back on. And so that's that I agree with. That's that's an absolute huge thing to express to these kids. There's, you know, college college or a height. Yeah. Well, you know, and then or you like just said, you start believing in your own height and then you become you turn the phrase, you become an asshole and and and you have nothing to fall back on. And the next thing you know, you're broke and living in your mom's basement.

Speaker: And it's also, it's a really tricky line to walk to because if you want to be a professional athlete, like you have to believe in yourself. You have to have that 100 % confidence that like, I am the best player on the field no matter what.

Speaker: but you also have to temper that with, well, what if I'm not, right? How do you do that without losing your confidence? Because it's really hard to balance those two things together simultaneously. If any future aspirational professional athletes are listening, please make sure you have a backup plan.

Speaker: Yeah. Believe in yourself. Believe in yourself. For those same listeners, we can help curve your humble because that's all we do is curve each other's humble. How has that worked out for you guys to curve my humble?

Speaker: We're still working on it. That's the problem. Honestly, that's why we show up. It's more of an ascending mountain peak. It's kind of like climbing Everest. You need a sherpa, you need a guy. It's a lot of work. I think that balance between

Speaker: You know having the confidence to do what you want to do and and then doubting yourself You have to find that balance because it doesn't matter what you do. We do this show every week we do this show three times a week and I know I can't I can't speak for the other guys, but I know there's times where the amount of work that I put into this where I've sat down and go I

Speaker: Is it really worth it at the end of the day? They don't have that because they just turn their cameras on and show up. I do everything behind the scenes. I'm very fortunate.

Speaker: That's right. I'm very thankful. I wish I had that clip for you. I would show it because the confidence in that it's my show and I do everything. It sounds amazing.

Speaker: I am a little bit much, but no, that's where I'm very thankful to have somebody like Cam in my corner. And who does help me a lot behind the scenes, and he does do a lot of work. And he has no rhyme or reason to other than the fact that he's just one of my biggest supporters. He's always pushing me. When I start to feel those days where it's like, hey, I'm just gonna slack. He's like, no, you're not, bang, bang, bang, and he's right there.

Speaker: So super fans are the best. That's what keeps you going. Well, yeah, he's that he's not really. I mean, I wouldn't call him a super fan. I've known the kids since he was 15 years old. So he's like a little brother to me. We started out speaking on the gaming earlier. I met him through Call of Duty. Oh, nice. His older brother, which version was it the original one? Modern warfare. Yeah. Yeah. The original Call of Duty original black ops one, I think.

Speaker: And to this day, we still play Call of Duty almost every night together. Last time we were playing Modern Warfare, the new one that just came out to go talking about tonight. But I met him and his older brother and a couple other friends of ours who for 10 plus years we've been friends. And we got our little group and we don't play as much as we used to.

Speaker: You get married, you have kids. It's weird how kids cut into your video gaming time. So now it's just like dwindled down from five of us to just Cam and I. Cam's kids are young enough that they just do their own thing.

Speaker: Yeah, but it's nice to have that little backup right there that says, hey, what you're doing is worth it. And then, I mean, he pulls this off, having you on the show with us tonight, which blew my mind. It's actually pretty easy just to ask. Yeah, well, no, but for me.

Speaker: But for me, for me, because like I said, we're the same age, but I remember, like I said, as soon as he sent me, he's like, Oh, I talked to a guy and I was like, Oh, who was it? He didn't have to send me anything. I didn't have to Google. As soon as I see, I know that guy. He played football.

Speaker: I remember watching you on TV. I remember on Sundays, watching you on TV, drinking beer, going, that's a hell of a goddamn fucker. I'm working. Jesus Christ. That's a fucking punter right there, boys. As opposed to me, that goes, wait, was he in the replacements? No? Oh.

Speaker: What actually brings me up to something, I ask every sports celebrity that we've talked to, and Chris, Blake hates this question, but as a guy that has all the sports knowledge taught to him through movies, Chris, what would you say is your all -time top three sports movies?

Speaker: Oh yes. All times top three sports movies. Actually, I'm a big fan of Unnecessary Roughness. I really like that one. Yeah. That's a classic right there. Foot meatball. Nice. Yeah.

Speaker: Let's see, next one would be, I mean, I gotta say the replacements, like Keanu Reeves is so good, like he's - I almost wore my Shane Falco jersey today too, I had it on before the show. And I love the actor who plays the kicker, like he just has no bucks to give.

Speaker: I was actually explicitly told not to mention Nigel Gruff because it would be disrespectful. He said, there's no way Chris was on the sideline smoking a cigarette and then going out to kick his goal. I gotta ask! Okay, hold on. So true story, true story. In high school, my high school football coach had to tell me to stop bringing books to read on the sideline in between plays.

Speaker: I love reading. Like I said, I'm a huge nerd. I'm like major league.

Speaker: Now, Chris, since you mentioned that you're a book reader, I have to hit you with something that we do to everybody. So this is not a dig on you. I'm sorry. This has to happen. You're a fucking nerd. You're a fucking nerd. No one likes you.

Speaker: No one likes you. I can't believe this. I'm sorry. It had to be done. You did a very good thing. You don't need to apologize. I am an OG nerd. I am much more nerd than athlete. That's what I keep trying to explain to people. I got a question now. OK, to hell with all that. I got a question. Star Trek Star Wars. Star Trek, if you like science. Star Wars, if you like entertainment.

Speaker: star wars if you like imagination right exactly it's yeah yeah so star trek is like science like actual okay here's what it's like people being in space star wars is like fuck it we're gonna do whatever we want i wish you would

Speaker: Why Glick Drinks? Chapter 55. We have former NFL superstar on our show, and Tony Stark said about Star Trek. Remember the Titans, which I thought was fucking phenomenal. Oh, it's an amazing movie.

Speaker: I keep Major League on the list because Major League was hilarious. I don't care who you are. That movie was hilarious. One and two. Afterwards, I normally go to Wildcats. I'm kind of stuck after the first two. But Wildcats was always like classic. A lot of guys like varsity blues. Most people love to be blue. That's my movie right there. That's us too. But I really stuck with Remember the Titans. Remember the Titans should have killed a lot of racers with me. And honestly, it did teach people to work together regardless of your differences. And I think a lot of teams,

Speaker: they do do that. Even though you got a problem with you, you learn how to work together. And that's how you grew up. Oh yeah. No, sure. Like it's, you can, you, it's really hard to be racist with, with guys that like, you're literally sweating and bleeding for like, and like, and that's the thing, like you shouldn't be racist in the first place, but what a, what a locker room does is it allows you to see each other as people, right? Cause you know, you're all going through the same stuff. Like you're all running the same half gases. You're all doing the same up downs. Like it's not,

Speaker: Doesn't matter which skin color is you're all suffering together

Speaker: It's not about the race, it's about the person. It's about, you know, I consider these two gentlemen my brothers. At the end of the day, if somebody does something... I love you, Tony D. I'm the red -headed step -child and they keep around. But it comes down to, it comes down to, anybody messes with my two boys, I'm coming after them just as much as my two boys are.

Speaker: Now you see why I hate them I can't stand this I gotta say this some pretty good video production

Speaker: I had nothing to do with that, by the way. I actually made that. On the fly. The highlight of the damn show, you put some of the number one bullshit, I tell him not to put on his motherfucker. And he gonna keep that doing. Tony, Tony, is this your first show? I'm sorry. How long have you known me? Be glad I don't have a password. I'm gonna hit my buttons. I have my buttons. I'm gonna hit them.

Speaker: When there's like old radio boards with like the 80 different buttons. I think we have a total of like 15 clips that we play. Yeah, we're just random clips. I did want to, before we move off of your football career, I do want to ask you, mainly, Tony, I think you might agree with this, but mainly me being the football junkie that I am. Football's like my heroine.

Speaker: I want to ask you, because you played with AP, you played with FAR, you played with Jared Allen, Sidney Rice, guys like that. And then on special teams side by side, you were with Ryan Longwell for quite a while. I think you guys spent quite a few years together. I'm not sure it's the exact number. But who was?

Speaker: Jeff has no idea who any of these people are because there's no clue. And those are just those are just a couple of the big names. But did you have a favorite, you know, a favorite teammate or a teammate that you're still in contact with today that you know you still

Speaker: hang out or call a friend or anything like that or talk to on a regular basis. So it's funny you mentioned Longwell because we actually still text each other to this day. He lives in Florida and even though I'm in California, he's in Florida. Yeah, Florida.

Speaker: As specialists, generally the majority of your time is spent with the other specialists. It's the punter, the kicker, and the long snapper. You're the guys who are all hanging out together. You have a lot of downtime. There's a lot of time during practice when you're not doing special teams.

Speaker: especially during the game. If you guys are winning and you guys are playing good. Yeah. No. And so like we would, we would constantly just, you know, be talking with each other. We'd be trading anchorman quotes with each other, you know, whatever you could to try and stay entertained. He's one of us. He's one of us. The bad man. He pumped in Baxter.

Speaker: we actually we actually do the same thing but we actually do um water boy and big daddy yeah water boy is another classic that's what it's some high quality h2o big daddy was a movie that i think 100 uh

Speaker: Our Christianized class literally molded us as people. I think the combined class made me see that movie about 1 ,500 times to the point where we put it all day long. Yeah, I know Sandler had some pretty good ones. Sandler had some great movies.

Speaker: You know, because I think happy Gilmore is still my favorite of his that that would actually probably go on a list of sports. Yeah. I'm not the biggest big daddy. Yeah. I'm not going to a little bit rich. Yeah. I'm not the biggest sailor fan, but yeah. Yeah. Happy Gilmore was by far his best movie.

Speaker: by far. It's just so funny. I don't know. Grown Ups is one of those movies that I can see the three of us, Tony, Chris, and I, doing that on a daily basis. Like, let's go do something stupid. I'm going to be a video cover for the whole movie. I'm not going to say that. I know you would. I know you would. World's Greatest Hype Man, ladies and gentlemen. I say Paperboy.

Speaker: Oh, favorite video game. Um, uh, so for me, that's actually final fantasy six, because I think the original NES was, was my, but like my introduction to video games, it was, uh, like, cause like I've never really heard about video games. And, um, there's, I think this was when I would have been like nine, maybe nine or 10 when it came out.

Speaker: and I split my toe open at a birthday party so I was stuck at home for like a week. I was at SeaWorld and I was running and just like split it open on one of those old rubber mats that they had. I need you to change the story and say you were at SeaWorld and you were attacked by like a sea wolf. Yeah, like a dolphin jumped out and just hit yourself.

Speaker: or an honor to get to push the others. I see the movie Jaws. It happened to me. Yeah. So anyway, I'm stuck at home. And apparently, I was driving my parents crazy. And they're like, let's get them this Nintendo thing. Maybe that'll keep them quiet. So the original NES with the double Mario Brothers duck hunt cartridge that came with the light gun. And I was hooked. It also came with double dribble. Double dribble. Yes, double dribble.

Speaker: And the thing that, like, looking back, I actually kind of appreciate, but at the time I really hated, was the fact that all of those early Nintendo games, the computer cheated outrageously. Well, yeah, you had a super tech mobile. The game suddenly just gets you. If you played it enough, it learns you. Oh, yeah. Well, it would get faster and faster and faster and faster. And eventually, you just couldn't keep up anymore. I'm just like, this is so dumb. But, oh, I got to try it. I got to beat it.

Speaker: Well, I mean, that was like super tech mobile. If you were lucky enough to get the Raiders and you had Bojax. Yeah, Bojax just ran all over you. Yeah, he just did whatever he wanted. I want to come back to the games. But okay, so this is where I got to be the bad guy. That's the subject. This is where I got to be the bad guy, because I do want to come back to the games. But I do want to, this is something I absolutely want to talk to you about, Chris. You leaving

Speaker: Minnesota Vikings. For those of you guys who don't know, Chris, I'm assuming you still are today. I know you were back in the day. I actually remember, again, I remember when this happened. I'm like, really? What the fuck? I actually think I, as a non -sports guy, I think I actually heard this news. You are a huge, or I'm assuming you still are, advocate for gay rights.

Speaker: You are an ally. I'm an ally myself. Um uh my I have uh stay correctly this time. Don't do don't use your nickname. Say no, I'm going to use my nickname. I my my broster.

Speaker: My brother was my sister and is now my brother. And it started out me kind of being, and I've always supported, before the transition, everything like that, he was lesbian when he was a female. I've always supported him and everything else. And it started out his way, I'm his older brother. And I don't know if you got siblings or not or anything like that, but - Yeah, no, I have a younger brother, younger sister.

Speaker: Yeah, exactly. So you know, we always bust each other's balls. I know Tony's got siblings. Jeff's got so it started out his way me to bust his balls was to call him my broster. But he actually liked it. So now it's become a term of endearment. It's not a dig. It's not a shot. Is it right? He's my broster. I've grown up with with friends and family, very close family that

Speaker: are part of the LGBTQ. I've always been an ally. So I remember this because I remember being upset and angry with the fact of the way that, and of course this is 2000, what 2012, 2013. Yeah. So in 2012 through 2013. So the NFL was still

Speaker: Oh, no. Not very progressive. Yeah, this is a men's sport. Normally, men only men and even though you're you're a straight man like you and your you have a wife, right? Yep. Yes. So, I love how you're toying the line. You're like, I'm telling you because I'm like, because I'm waiting for it. I'm waiting for it. I know.

Speaker: Yeah, I know you're married. I know you have a wife and I'm waiting for her to be like, well, actually, I mean, I'm married, yes. That's a fair question. But my boyfriend, I'm like, oh, okay, so then I fuck up and I'm right in the street. You heard me here first on nonsensical nonsense.

Speaker: So you put yourself on a platform. You basically made a target for yourself being an NFL player. We'll call a spade a spade. You were an NFL superstar. Yeah, a superstar might be a little far. I was a really good punter. I mean, you hold several records in Minnesota. I don't think they're broken yet. Yeah, I don't think so.

Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. So you hold several records. You, you, you have the accolades and again, no disrespect, but for a punter, your name was no, you were well known. Like, like, uh, like, uh, uh, Pat McCatt. Yeah. You know, Pat, everybody knows you now because of his antics with his podcast and, and college game day and everything like that. But what people sometimes forget was this dude was that guy on the football field.

Speaker: Oh yeah, he's a rockstar man. He laid a hit on, I forget who they're playing, might have been Detroit, but he absolutely blew up a dude on the sideline. I want to say it was like 2008 or 2009. He just obliterated the dude.

Speaker: I wonder if it's not supposed to do that. But you put yourself out there. You took a huge stance and you really did. I mean, at the end of the day, you put a big target on your back. What was that like for you to go through those motions? And I got to ask,

Speaker: Why do you feel so strongly about your views? Like I said, I have my personal reasons, and they hit very close to home to me. And that's what I'm kind of curious is if that's just something you've always believed in. And again, as you said, from Jump Street, being from California, very liberal state. Or is it just something that you were ingrained growing up? Or is it something that hits a little bit closer to home, a little bit more personal?

Speaker: Yeah. So, well, so for me, it was, um, definitely it's something that I've evolved into, right? Like, because growing up, um, even though, you know, I grew up in California, like I grew up in the mid to late eighties into the early nineties, right? Which is a time when homophobic language was very much the norm. Like that, that was something that like you and your friends, like you called each other gay, right? You, you called each other fags. Like that was, that was just something you said.

Speaker: But as I grew older, I was kind of like, hey, wait a minute, like, why am I using these words to, you know, to talk with my friends when it clearly hurts a subsection of people? Right. Like, why would I cause them pain when there are so many other swear words I could use? That's what the problem came in it.

Speaker: right exactly like like i have a ton of choices like i i i can joke around with my friends without causing harm to other people and so um i've also been a very like the the way i was raised was essentially you know treat other people the way you'd like to be treated right like it's if you don't want someone to do something mean to you like don't do something mean to them and um you know for the most part it was it was mainly

Speaker: more of a personal view. I would say I wasn't like super active in terms of like high school or college. It's more just kind of a live and let live. And then when I was in Minnesota, when the essentially the conservative movement there was trying to pass an amendment in state constitution to ban same -sex marriage.

Speaker: And so there was a group, Minnesotans for marriage equality, they approached me during the offseason like, hey, we've seen your Twitter feed, like, you know, we've seen the stuff to talk about, you know, we think you might be interested in helping stop this amendment. And, you know, I thought about it for a second. I was like, Yeah, I think I'd be okay not enshrining bigotry into the state's constitution. That would probably be a good use of my time.

Speaker: And so I was like, yeah, sure, I'll help out. That seems like a good use of my platform, because for whatever reason, people are listening to me. And so might as well use it to do something good.

Speaker: And for the most part, it was pretty under the radar. I went and talked to the team, made sure, like, hey, you guys are OK with this? Like, yeah, it's fine. As long as you're Chris Cooley, a private citizen, you're not speaking for the Vikings. I'm like, yeah, of course. I'm not going to say this is what the Vikings say. I'm saying this is what I, Chris Cooley, believe we should do. And so it wasn't until the Deadspin piece I wrote went super viral that it became a big deal. Deadspin piece. And I'm not going to lie to you.

Speaker: I didn't read it until last week after Cam and I was talking. Holy shit. Yeah, controversial. Just a little bit. It's the funniest thing about that is so the title of it is they won't magically turn you into a lustful cock monster. And I'm not the one who chose that as the title. That was actually the editor. The dead spin editor was like, yo, that's going to be the title.

Speaker: And the thing is, right? Tommy Craig, he's a fantastic editor. But yeah, it's funny because I initially. Do you know my ex -fiance? Oh, oh, dig. Holy shit. I'm assuming they share a name. Good to meet you, Chris. Nice talking to you. Wow. Wow.

Speaker: So anyway, so so wrote that piece right now all of a sudden like my stance was now a huge deal because it's getting national attention and like the the team Unfortunately did not react in a very good way in my opinion in that

Speaker: So basically, the day after it came out, because it came out on a Friday, then it was so Saturday, you know, get ready for the game. And head coach Leslie Frazier, you know, calls me into the office. He's like, Chris, I need you to stop talking about this. Like, you know, just don't, you know, don't talk about this anymore. I'm like, I'm not sure about that. But like, we're getting ready for a game. So let's kind of table this for now. We'll have a discussion about this very next day, right? It's our season opener against the Jaguars and

Speaker: the owner of the team Ziggy Wolf comes to me during pregame as I'm warning up he's like Chris I just want to say you know I thought that letter you wrote was an amazing thing like I thought it was really cool and so in my head I'm thinking okay I'm getting mixed messages here the head coach is saying one thing and the owner is saying another thing

Speaker: Right. And so so then the next day after that, on Monday, like I went back to, you know, to see Coach Frazier and just because he had, you know, called me back in like, Hey, are you gonna keep talking about this? And I'm just like, Coach, like the owner said he's like, he's okay with this. Like, he's like, Well, I guess I'm overruled then.

Speaker: I'm like, I don't want to put you in a bad spot. But again, this is me in my private time talking about this. I'm not getting on a soapbox in the local locker room. And that was always one thing that I was really careful about is that

Speaker: I know a lot of guys in the locker room that are just there to play football, right? They don't want to have to think about outside world stuff while they're playing football. And so for me, it was never like, I'm not going to harangue you. I'm not going to try and corner you and make you try to talk about things. If you want to have a conversation, I am more than happy to have a conversation with you. But while we are at the facility, first and foremost, we are playing football. Because again, it is an extremely difficult job to get.

Speaker: Now, by that same token, when I'm away from the facility, I'm not playing football anymore. So I get to do whatever I want, which means if I want to spend my free time doing events or doing radio ads or whatever, then I am free to do that because I am an American citizen. That is kind of the idea of citizenship.

Speaker: And so yeah, it was the season was kind of awkward in that my special teams coach really did not appreciate what I was saying. He started using some homophobic language and was not very pleasant to be around. It kind of changed from the normal like special teams coach player relationship to more of a like

Speaker: getting some real hostile vibes here. I'm just gonna try and tough out this season and hopefully it'll be better next year. And then they drafted a punter in the fifth round. I was like, well, I'm not coming back. So yeah, after that, I had a pre -season with the Raiders, got beat out by Marquette King, which is a fair competition. He was a really good punter. And so it turned out to be,

Speaker: to do pretty pretty good things. I mean, yeah, yeah, I know. I think I think he was absolutely on your level. And unfortunately for you at that time, he was quite a bit younger.

Speaker: And that's the thing, I can't blame them for making that decision because it's the exact same decision the Vikings made when they brought me in. They brought me in because Darren Bennett wasn't having a very good preseason for the Vikings. And so they're like, okay, we're gonna take a flyer on this young kid. And if he works out, great, we just saved ourselves a bunch of money and we got a good new punter. If he doesn't work out, we'll just bring back the veteran week two or week three. So yeah, that's just the nature of the business. I have no issues with how -

Speaker: Yeah, the Raiders, I have no issues with how they've handled it.

Speaker: Um, like the, the time I knew that my career in the NFL was over was, it was the, um, nearing the end of the 2013 season. Um, it was, uh, when Cincinnati had the Sunday night game and Kevin Huber got his job broken on the blindside hit. Um, cause I was in, um, it was actually right before the minutes, uh, the all 25 Metro dope team. Like we were, we were there for the celebration and then I was out at dinner with some friends. Um, they were watching the game at the restaurant and I, you know, I saw him get his job broken. I'm like, I'm probably going to get a phone call tomorrow morning.

Speaker: So yeah, sure enough get a phone call from Cincinnati the next morning like hey, can you come to Cincinnati for a tryout? I was like, yeah, I'll be there I just need you to get me some cleats because I don't have my cleats with me So yeah, so they got me some cleats and so I did that tryout and there was there I think there was five of us there and that was a tryout where I definitely felt Okay, like I have won this job like I've I've shown

Speaker: I know I can still punt the football. I can directional punt it where they want it to go. I've still got distance and hang time. I'm a proven veteran in that I've been in playoff situations before. It's not like I'm going to get wild -eyed at what's going on. And you're not looking for a long -term replacement for Huber. You're just looking for someone to get through the rest of the season. And potentially, if you get into the playoffs, knows what they're doing. So it's like, this is the optimum chance for me to get back in the NFL.

Speaker: got to the end of the tryout, they put me in the cafeteria with everyone else, and then the ops guy comes up and goes, so Chris, do you fly into LAX? I was just like, nope, John Wayne tweets, because they were sending me back home.

Speaker: Yeah. So after that, I was like, okay, if I didn't if I didn't make it at that spot, then I don't think I'm ever going to play in the NFL again, you know, despite having played for eight years. And so that was at the point where I was like, okay, I need to talk about what happened with the Vikings, because I really do feel that they cut me not based on my performance, but because of the stances that I took. And I felt and that was I that was the other piece I wrote for Deadspin that was semi viral. It was

Speaker: I think I titled that one. I was fired by two cowards and a bigot. So you leave my question to you. The fact that you even admit that you say even when you're off the field, you're able to do your own time as a citizen, this is true. NFL, Public Affairs, did they come talk to you?

Speaker: Yeah, so here's the thing. When it became clear like the owner was behind me, he was on my side and they're like, okay, yeah, you got to do your thing. The head coach, Lazy Frazier, he said, okay, well, let's bring our media people in, have a talk. I'm like, okay, yeah, sure, we'll have a talk.

Speaker: And, but the, the way they, they presented it, the way they phrased it was like, okay, let's limit the amount of appearances you do. We'll do just, you know, this one here and maybe this one here. And, and the way I read it, and you know, who knows? Maybe I was reading it wrong. Maybe they did actually want to help me, but the way I read it was like, okay.

Speaker: You're trying to do the bare minimum to make it seem like you're supporting me while at the same time Not letting me speak out like the way that I feel like I should be speaking out of this because for me I was like, okay if you know if you want to do an interview request Yeah, I'll happily grant you an interview like I'm more than happy to talk about this subject And you know again, it's not during football time like this is during my free time. Like that's not gonna lie to you Jeff and I were former military. I was there

Speaker: They tell us a lot of times, something happens up in here. You go talk to them before you ever talk to the press, period. You were in the industry, a franchise, an establishment, a foundation that had a pretty decent pocket compared to what we're used to. So I'm quite sure they were like, yeah, don't do this off camera. Don't do this off here before you ever mess that up. And was it anywhere in your contract where it said you couldn't speak your mind in that way would be the next question to ask you?

Speaker: Yep. Nope. The, the only things they have in the contract are the, um, it's like the personal behavior clause where essentially like, if you do something that brings negative attention on the team in a bad way, um, they have the right to, well, so here's the thing. Right. So do you consider speaking out for LGBTQ rights and negative behavior, right? I don't consider it negative, but you said 2012, correct?

Speaker: Yeah. Well, no, I know. Yeah. And so that's the thing. Well, so here's the thing. It's a touchy subject, but the NFL can't have its cake and eat it too, right? Like you can't be the league that tries to present itself as a progressive league. Like, Oh, we care about breast cancer. Oh, we care about, you know, LGBTQ rights. Oh, we care about this and that. And none, not actually back up your words with actions. Like that's

Speaker: Well, so and actually, and let me clarify that as well, is that to be fair to the PR people in the NFL, I'm sure I was an absolute nightmare to deal with, right? Because I'm doing everything that they probably don't want a player to do. You know, going on your own and doing interviews, talking about a touchy subject, you know, especially one in the upper Midwest. That's what drove them crazy.

Speaker: that's something that NFL has always struggled with, right? Like they want to have the public perception, but they don't necessarily want to do the work to actually, you know, make it happen in reality.

Speaker: But the thing is that I'm also a very firm believer that if you do want to see systemic change, you have to take actions in order to make that happen. You have to be willing to put your own self on the line if you expect other people to do the same.

Speaker: And so that to me was one of the driving influences. If I'm ever in trouble, how can I ever expect someone to speak up for me if when I have the platform, I don't do the same for other people? Then I'm just a hypocrite. That's fair. That's fair. You and your love for mochi cheese are represented right here.

Speaker: my. Now, I will also say if I hadn't gotten kicked out of the league in in in 2013, I am 100 % confident I would have been kicked out in 2016 for taking a knee. Right, right, right, right. I'll tell you my next question. So, it was only a matter of time. Right. As an NFL player. How did you see that? And I want to

Speaker: If somebody who was an NFL player, I never asked anybody who was an NFL, what did they consider that to be? Was it controversial to think he was wrong and think he was right? Just your thoughts on it in time. Yeah, so for me, obviously, I don't think it was controversial because I agree with Kaepernick's statement. I think we have a huge problem with police brutality in the United States. I think it's an ongoing problem. Yeah, and it's a political problem, right? Yeah. And here's me preaching to a black man, right?

Speaker: But again, like it's you know, it is it is a significant problem. And the thing is, though, is that the NFL it isn't it's not made up of one group of people, right? It's made up of people from all over the country, which means you're going to get viewpoints from all over the country.

Speaker: like each locker room in world yeah right it's a microcosm like it's it's it's not just oh because you play in this region you're all from this region like it used to be that way back in the 50s and 60s when they couldn't afford to have you know players from everywhere but now it's like no you're coming from everywhere

Speaker: And so the thing with Colin's case is that I thought he handled it perfectly. I mean, the fact that he didn't make a big spectacle of it until it became a big spectacle because people started focusing on it, right? He was doing it for a month up until the media decided, oh, hey, let's actually talk about this. I agree. I do agree. He was doing it repeatedly, yes.

Speaker: Right. And he also made sure, okay, this is going to be my personal protest. Like, I'm not forcing anyone else on the team to do this. I've consulted with active members of the military, right, to be like, hey, you know, what do you think is the most respectful way to do this?

Speaker: Well, I mean, stand up, don't sit down, it's your choice, we got to. Of course we're going to. And there was a lot of games, like, I'm sorry, but I just want to jump in, my bad. No, you're good, man. I was a kid, I used to go to baseball games. They stayed in New York because I was born in Queens. When I was in Virginia, I used to go see the Tigers. We'll forgive you for that. And we played baseball.

Speaker: People were not standing in the 80s. They're taking a piss. They were saying about Colin Kaepernick. And I go hard about it. Everybody, he'd just spit the military. No, he didn't. You don't see us pissed off of that. What you ought to be pissed off of is the citizens who aren't even in there, who aren't even going anywhere, who aren't even signing up, who aren't trying to go overseas. You want to talk about they ain't standing. Those are the ones that I got a problem with who want to get mad at him. And then he specified specifically, this is about social injustice.

Speaker: He didn't say another police just says social and just superior because it's a bigger issue than what a bunch of you will see it on television spoiler alert, right? I don't even realize what the hell he was saying and he was mad at him. My apologies. Please continue. I'm off my soapbox. You're fine Tony. I told you guys, I told the guys, I told the guys Monday, um,

Speaker: We were going to have fun. We're going to do what we do here on the show. But I was going to tiptoe dive, maybe slightly dive into a little bit more of a controversial because. Oh, I love getting political. Chris, the one thing you got to understand is we have two rules on the podcast because we don't want to piss anybody off. We don't do politics. We don't do religion.

Speaker: You know when it comes down to it you're Chris you're you're you're one of those guys where where you took your platform where where you had

Speaker: You had clout in your arena of the NFL, where you saw a way where you could take your status and say, look, this is what I believe in. And I 100 % respect that. And I think it's badass that you were able to do that. And you were kind of almost in a way where you're like, damn, the consequences.

Speaker: And Capricut is the same way. Some of the things Capricut did, I don't 100 % agree on. But at the end of the day, he took a stand because he says, I have a platform, and this is how I feel. And people need to see that shit goes on that not everybody sees.

Speaker: Kaepernick didn't really, didn't really say, damn, the consequences. Like, Chris, Chris, I mean, in all honesty, 100%. You know, you said to hell with it. Why do I need to be here? This is going to be the way these guys are going to, going to treat me when I take a stance. After you were told, after you were told what you do in your free time, as long as it doesn't pertain to the organization or you don't, or you don't say the Minnesota Vikings feel this way. This is my belief and this is my view. You said, all right, well,

Speaker: Obviously my time here is done and you left where, you know, and nothing against Kaepernick stance, but he didn't take that stance. He, he didn't turn around and made, you know, several millions of dollars from Nike and still tried to kept coming back to the NFL. My thing was, yeah, you had one good season. And after that as a football fan, look at, look at that.

Speaker: So as someone who played in the NFL, I got to push back on that. I've only taken the millions of dollars myself, personally. So here's the thing, from the social standpoint, Kaepernick has done a lot of really good work with his charities, and that the money that he has gotten from that is, he has reinvested the vast majority of that into actually making people's lives better, who need those funds and those resources.

Speaker: No, no, I agree with him. He really has. He's given back a lot. From a football player's perspective, are you honestly trying to tell me that Tim Tebow can still get looks from teams in Colin Kaepernick camp?

Speaker: I don't even know who that is. So, I'm going to shut the **** up right now. Don't even don't even get me started on because

Speaker: Because I said it from before he was ever even left Florida, I said this man will never be an NFL quarterback. If he wants to have a mediocre career in the NFL, maybe he should try a different position. He would have been a great tight end or fullback. He was not a quarterback. He was not an NFL quarterback. And why NFL teams still keep entertaining this goofball? I don't know why.

Speaker: Yeah. And I mean, and the thing is like, it's, it's not even Tebow. It's you look at all of like the quarterback bus, right? In the NFL, because it is really difficult to play NFL quarterback at a NFL quality level. Like it's, that is, there's a reason why quarterbacks are played so much. Like they, that is a very difficult position to play. And like, I'm not even saying, you know, pay Kaepernick, like top five money. Like the years that he was trying to get back in the league,

Speaker: there were at least 10 to 12 teams that could have used him at quarterback, and it would have been a clear and substantial upgrade. And that's what the issue was, is that he should have been playing. He should have been given the chance to play. And then, you know what? If he flames out from there, okay, he flames out. It happens. But to not even have the chance, to not even get to go back out on the field, that's just not fair.

Speaker: That goes back to what you said. The NFL wants to portray this image and again. Right. They won't have the cake and eat it too. Me being a football fan and me actually being a fan and not buying into the bullshit.

Speaker: They want to look progressive and they want to look like they take all these stances and they want to in the spotlight behind closed doors, they say something totally different. And I think that's what happened to you and what happened to Kaepernick. You guys took a stance for something you believed in.

Speaker: And at the end of the day, you, you, you got kicked in the dick. I'm not going to, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. You got kicked right in the dick. We're taking a stance. And, and I believe that, you know, from coming from, so he's going to get more and more aggressive. So the thing is the, like that, that, that was also something I thought about, like before I even started speaking out on the issue, it was like, I knew that that was one of the potential consequences, but that was a conversation I had with myself is okay.

Speaker: And will I be okay if this is one of the outcomes? I'm like, I will be okay if this is one of the outcomes because I've had seven years in the NFL up to this point. Like this will be my eighth year in the NFL. That's eight more years than 99 .9 % of the population ever gets. Like I will be just fine. And if I have the chance to make other people's lives better than like, how am I going to be the asshole that doesn't take that?

Speaker: How are you the hero of the video game? You should be in the Hall of Fame of celebrities that stuck your neck out. I know you're not a family name celebrity, but you should be on the Hall of Fame of celebrities who stuck your neck out and got your head chopped up for it.

Speaker: because you believed in something and you stood up for it. And I applaud you for it. Well, thank you. But I mean, again, it's just, it's wanting to live in the world that I want to live in. Like, I want other people to not be afraid to make that same decision. And I know it's a really difficult decision to make. Like, not everyone's in the same position. Not everyone has the same resources. But if I don't do it when I have access to the resources, how can I expect someone else to do it? Exactly. Well, on that, and

Speaker: Oh, yeah. We can, we can just start real quick. Cam wants to know who was your favorite slash best connection you had with an NFL player of another team? Of another team. Honestly, probably just all the punters and kickers that I played with, because they say it's kind of like, you know, one of those, like we, we all do the same job. We know no one else understands our job. It's a

Speaker: No one understands how to actually kick or punt a football.

Speaker: in my entire time playing football from high school, all the way up through the NFL. Hold up, hold up, hold up. So my entire time playing football, I never had a special teams coach, and this is including the NFL. I had four different special teams coach in the NFL. I never had a coach that could explain to me the fundamentals of kicking or punting a football. It was always kick it, you know, just kick it over there, kick it over here, make sure it does this. Well, how, how am I going to do that? Oh no, you figure it out.

Speaker: Can you imagine if your team had a quarterbacks coach who did not know how to throw football? This is the guy in charge of your quarterbacks. Like you would be living.

Speaker: Yeah, I'm saving Jeff from himself. But on the flip side, not to take myself too seriously, why would you ever need to know how to kick a football? That's not the valuable life skill. Well, let me ask you something. On that note, and this is not disrespectful, do you actually know how to kick a football or is it just something that you do?

Speaker: Yep. No, I'm actually on. So I'm writing a book on it right now because after having coached special teams, freshman football in Southern California for the past four years, like, so here's the thing, like I'm watching game film right up these other freshmen teams and no one knows how to coach special teams. I'm just like, how it's really not that hard. Like it really is. And again, like if I know how to do it, why wouldn't I help teach other people how to do it? I know I agree with that. I mean, I only played high school football. I didn't play on the level you didn't.

Speaker: But seriously, our special teams coaches in high school basically told our field goal kickers, our punters, and our kickers, just go kick the ball. Right? That's how it is everywhere. Just go kick it. I can't help it. I have to do it. Laces out.

Speaker: That laces out. So here's the thing, that's actually factually correct because if the laces are back, the point of contact is not with the ball, it's with the laces. So now instead of hitting like a broad surface of the ball, you're hitting a tiny little point on the laces that can shoot off in any direction. Like there's an actual physics reason.

Speaker: Fuck you, Chris. You told me not to say it. I did it. And I'm dedicated, motherfucker. No, I told you not to compare him to Ray Finkel. And I had to break down the difference between a putter and a kicker to the non -football fan. So to be fair, I've had football fans not know the difference between a putter and a kicker. In all seriousness, as I stated before, my knowledge of sports comes from movies. And I asked Chris today, I said, Chris,

Speaker: So I shouldn't bring up Ray Finkel, right? He's like, don't even fucking think about it, dude. It's fine. I said, and he explained me that there's a difference between a punter and a kicker. And I was like, wait, there is? He's like, yeah, they don't explain this to the movies. And I was like, fuck, I thought it was the same guy. Yeah, I was like, I'm going to shut the fuck up. But you're talking about Tim King. And I was like, laces out, motherfucker! Got it.

Speaker: And that's actually one of my favorite questions. I get it like once every four to five months on Reddit is, why doesn't a team have the same guy do kicking and punning? And so I actually have a response. Yep. So actually, I'll see if I can find it because like, at this point, I just copy paste the link to the original response. But the way it breaks down is that once you get to the NFL level, it started

Speaker: It's in the college level because in high school, when you feel goal kick, you can kick off a tee, right? So you get the two inch block, which means you can approach the ball with more of a punting style motion. You can lock your foot out and not have to sweep the ball off the ground. In college, you move to, you have to hit the ball off the ground. You can't use the tee anymore. So now kicking becomes a little bit more of a swelling.

Speaker: motion with your hips, and yep, and punting is more straight on. So if you swivel when you punt, you're going to have a bad punt. If you come straight on when you kick, you're going to have a bad kick. In the pros, it becomes even more refined, right? Because they're expecting you to make 99 % of your kicks. They're expecting 99 % of your punts to be consistent. So the problem is, if you use any sort of punting motion when you're trying to hit a field goal, then you're not going to make the field goal. And if you use a field goal motion when you're trying to hit a punt, your punt's going to be garbage. Like you're not going to have good hang time and distance.

Speaker: So that's just from the technical side. From the workload side, teams don't carry backup punters or kickers. There's no one there to take extra reps during practice, during the season. So in college, you have your backup guys. You have your backup guy to take off the kickoff return reps. You have your backup guy to take the punt return reps.

Speaker: the NFL I think the only person who ever tried it was I think was Keenan for the Falcons and I want to say it was in like 2008 and he he actually strained is either his hip flexor or his quad about two -thirds of the way through the season yeah yeah just from from trying to do all three jobs you know punting kicking and kickoffs and so the thing is your leg because you're putting so much stress on it you really can't

Speaker: hold up to the to the strain that you're putting on it because people think oh you only had you know five field goals during the game what's what kind of stress are you putting on it well that's not counting you know the 30 reps you took before the game that's not counting the five reps during each drive to make sure your legs warm and you're ready to go and so like I would anticipate in

Speaker: a game where I had maybe eight punts during the game, in total, I probably took around 60 to 65 punts throughout the course of that game. And so if you're multiplying that by doing punts and field goals and kickoff, it's like, yeah, of course your leg's gonna break down. There's a reason you don't have the same running back run every single time on every single play.

Speaker: You have to get your body arrested at some point. With that being said, again, this is kind of coming back to your football career. And I said, we weren't going to spend all night talking about your football career because there's so much more about you. But your second to last season or your last season, I think you injured yourself in a game.

Speaker: Oh, I think maybe a meniscus or something like that. Yeah. Yeah. So, so I had a violation. You found out that you had a 20 CL. Oh no. That was my year.

Speaker: Yeah, that was my rookie year. Yeah, that was my rookie year. And he was still averaging almost 45 yards a kick. Yeah, if I hadn't turned my ACL, I think I probably would have gone to the Pro Bowl my rookie year. But yeah, unfortunately, that didn't mean enough accolades your rookie year. You would just get one more accolade.

Speaker: I was a pro bowl alternate, but I never made the actual pro bowl. So after my rookie year, my coaches wanted me to directional punt because they didn't think our coverage team could cover well enough to just blast the ball down the field like Lechler or Andy Lee. So we're playing at Detroit. Right under the bus.

Speaker: Okay, so I have opinions on punters that are allowed to just last in a way and what that means for their stats because I was not allowed to do that past my first year and it shows. But anyway, so we're playing in Detroit. So it's high snap, roll out to the right, you know, kick the ball kind of going sideways. And I felt my knee buckle when I landed. So like I knew something was wrong, but there wasn't any pain. So I'm like, okay, I must have like tweaked something.

Speaker: So, continue playing the game, I think it was in the third quarter, a dude came in off the edge, tried to dive to block it, completely missed the ball, landed directly on my plant foot as I was in full extension. So, I thought I had broken my ankle. Because I was just like, oh my god, this hurts so bad. They had to cart me off the field because I couldn't put any sort of weight on it. It turned out it was just a really bad ankle spray. So, I was out the next week, when they were doing an exam with the ankle in the hospital the next day, I was like, hey, can you take a look at my knee too? Because I felt something happen. Like, yeah, sure, we'll take a camera on it.

Speaker: And so they come back to me after the MRI, like, yeah, your knee's damaged. Like, OK, well, that sounds not good. But I guess it can't be that bad if they just say it's damaged, right? You know, it'll be fine. So, you know, come back, sat out the next week, come back, and I played the last, I think it was three games. My knee definitely did not feel right. Like, I couldn't really snap on it. Like, it didn't feel very good. But I'm just like, all right, well, I'll just go to the training room, and I'll get ice. They'll do the compression sleeve, you know, try to keep the swelling down. And I'm a rookie in the NFL as an undrafted free agent. You got to do whatever you can to stay on the field.

Speaker: So the day after the season ends, that's when they do your exit physicals. So go to my exit physical and they're like, yeah, so your ACL is torn. You should probably get that fixed. I'm just like, holy shit.

Speaker: That would have been useful information a month ago.

Speaker: Oh, it's immense. So there's a saying, you can't make the team from the training room. And it is absolutely true. If you become known as a guy who's always in the training room, you will be cut. Because the team doesn't have any time for that. There's hundreds of other people vying for your position. And if you can't play through some pain, you will not make it on an NFL field. Because it doesn't matter what position you play, you are going to get hurt playing football.

Speaker: Like even punters and kickers, you get hurt playing football because it is a violent sport. Like everyone on the field gets hurt. And so you have to know the difference between, okay, are you hurt or are you injured?

Speaker: right? Because if you're injured, okay, like you have to get that taken care of that's, you know, and then try to get back on the field as quick as you can. If you're hurt. Yeah. Tony and I actually know what that is. Uh, I actually went through, uh, uh, Bud's training and we got told that every day, are you hurt? Are you injured? And so I know what you're talking about and nobody wants to be injured. Everyone's hurt. So I get it. I get it.

Speaker: You've actually summed it up in a way these two dummies could never sum it up. Yeah. No, it's one. And again, it's... Yeah, you're right. I don't think Tony Wayne included that. Because I have four drinks in the bag, Glick. Shut up. More than four drinks in the bag, Conda. But I just want to shout you out real quick because you said all that happened is your rookie season. Yes. Very rookie season. You hold a Minnesota Vikings record.

Speaker: for average punts per game as a rookie. Yeah. 54 .3 yards a punt. Yeah. That's insane. That's insane. Like what would you, what would your average have been had you not been injured? Like 85, 90.

Speaker: probably like 55 or 56. Cause you gotta remember at that point, like that was 13 games before getting injured. So it already had a pretty good time to set those numbers. Like it was my last 4 .3 is, is amazing. Now, like my last three games, your, your rookie season, you also hold a record in this speaks volumes for your office, your rookie season.

Speaker: 71 punts in a series. Yeah, it's a lot of punts. Minnesota, your offense was trash.

Speaker: It was trash for a while. That was Brad. What's his name from Tampa Bay? Brad Johnson. Super Bowl winning quarterback. Had a lot of fun.

Speaker: But I mean, I mean, let's just, let's not all Brad Johnson, you guys, his entire offense at that time was kind of - It was pretty anemic. It was not great. We had Troy Williamson who couldn't catch football, which is not good. In your first round, you were a draft pick. Again, I say, again, I - Troy was a great guy. He was my roommate. Don't get me wrong. He was a very pleasant person, like, awesome, dude. You just could not catch football.

Speaker: You can be a great guy, you can be a great guy all day long. But, you know, it's a bad aspect if you're not, you know, again, I dare say, Chris Cooley, Minnesota Viking, superstar.

Speaker: I can't even walk 53 yards because I need a cigarette at 42 years old. You need an inhaler. And this is a lot for me talking football. I'm a Cleveland Browns fan. Oh, I feel so bad for you. Finally, somebody said it. Somebody said it. It's been a tough century. Shut up, Tony. I don't know why you're laughing. You're a Jets fan. Calm down. I'm a Jets fan, yes.

Speaker: EMOTIONAL DAMMIT!

Speaker: Yeah, that's a rough one. But the thing is, so here's the thing, it's more likely that you're going to be a bus than not a quarterback. Because again, that's such a difficult position to play.

Speaker: Yeah. Well, especially these days, they're expecting guys, like they're expecting guys to be Patrick Mahomes, right? They're, they're expecting them to be perfect right out the gate coming out of college. It's like, that's not the average career. Like generally guys need at least two to three years to get used to the speed of the game because like they're not kidding when they say the speed of the game is way faster at the NFL level. Like every single guy out there was a superstar on their team. And it shows a lot of the players who are playing now.

Speaker: Say that again, sorry. You critique a lot of the players who are playing now. In which way? Okay, quarterback wise, and Glick and I, we had a fantasy football league this past season, we just ended right before the big injury at big up to my men who came out of the hospital to tomorrow handling. Congratulations. God bless all of you. Yeah, that's scary. When I watch a lot of these young quarterbacks now, right now, my preference as far as the young quarterbacks, I give, I'll tell you what, over the past five years,

Speaker: I think the next two greatest quarterbacks we'll have out of the ones that have been drafted is probably going to be the Sean Watson and Trey Lance. Who would you say would be two of your greatest quarterbacks right now? Over the past five years it's been drafted.

Speaker: Well, so admission time, I'm not actually a football fan. I don't really watch football. I'm loving you, Lauren Moore, dude. I love this cat. I gotta say. No, it's fine. I used to watch a bit when I first left the league, just kind of from a professional perspective, right? Because I still knew guys that I played with, and they were still playing. But these days, pretty much almost all the guys I played with are done. They're not in the league anymore.

Speaker: I don't know enough to comment on that. There's a kicker who was an announcer for decades. What are you talking about? You know how much money this man signed a contract for? At one point in time, he was the highest paid punter in the NFL. I didn't want to ask that, but thank you for letting me know.

Speaker: I think Leclerc paid more than I was. I think I was solidly mid -range. I want to say maybe top 5. I said you were one of the... No.

Speaker: Yeah. Stop being humble. Stop being humble. Go ahead and break. Do I got to put the number out there? Do it in favor. Do I got to put the number out there? I need to put the number out there. I'm more than happy. So I signed my contract. I think it was like 2000. It was either 2007 or 2008. It was for 8 .2 million. I want to say 8 .1 million. I think it was like 1 .2 up front. 8 .3 million. 8 .3 million. OK. Yeah, that's it. Whatever. But the thing is, it's like the last song.

Speaker: No, that's fine. The last two years of that I never saw because, you know, as you know, in the NFL, contracts aren't guaranteed. So, like, I think they put, it was like 1 .3 and 1 .5 is the last two years. So, like, I never saw 2 .8 million of that contract. So, you know, for which, okay, so let's be clear, though.

Speaker: Getting paid 5 .5 million dollars to kick a football is still a whole crap ton of money. I will kick a football right now at 41 years old. And I am very grateful that I had that opportunity. Don't make me wrong.

Speaker: okay since since you since we brought up the subject of money and i was hesitant to bring this up what's the dumbest purchase you've ever made where you're just like really i bought a Ferrari because don't answer that kind of thing shut up Tony no i'm trying to answer that validate me

Speaker: I don't, well, so here's the thing, I've always tried to be smart with money because, you know, in junior high, when they have that presentation where it's like, if you invest a penny, you know, at 18, you know, it's worth a million dollars at 65 or whatever it is, I was like, that makes a lot of sense. And so early on, I did the math where it's like, okay, if you know, if I earn, I think it was like $10 million, like if I have $10 million in the bank, I literally never have to work a day in my life for the rest of my life because I live off the interest.

Speaker: So like, I was like, I want to invest my money, right? Because again, the NFL is not a guaranteed thing, especially as an undrafted free agent. Like you're, you're, you're looking at me. I'm telling you, stop, stop, stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Do not disrespect Chris like that ever again. I'm trying to think like, I know I bought like, I didn't,

Speaker: Maybe...

Speaker: I'm trying to think, I don't think I ever bought anything that I would consider stupid. I mean, like I bought fun stuff like. No, nothing like that. Like it's, it's more like, okay. So, uh, so the car I bought, I bought, um, it was a BMW X6, you know, which at the time was kind of like their, their, their flagship, like it was like 80 grand or 85 grand or something like that. And I was just like, I thought it, I thought it looked really cool. It had all wheel drive, you know, so it would work in the snow and like, did I need that car? No, I didn't need that car. But I was like, eh, it looks cool. I have the money to buy it. I'm gonna buy that car.

Speaker: I actually just recently traded that car in last year and it had I think a hundred and thirty eight thousand miles When did you buy that car 2008 I think 2007 -2008 So that's who I am. BMW M6 X6 has a drivetrain in it that you only see in sports cars

Speaker: in an SUV. Yeah, no, it's a great car. I love that car. That thing's amazing. I'm actually trying to find one. He's going back and he's going back to town out. Hold on. So now I'm going to ask, so here's my question to you. What car do you think I replaced it with? Ooh.

Speaker: Okay. Prius. No, shut up. He said close. No, he said close. Oh my God. Do not tell me you bought a Tesla. Do not tell me you bought a Tesla. No, Tesla. I can't stand you on Musk. He bought that ugly Ford Mustang SUV.

Speaker: Nope. I bought a Chevy Bolt, all electric. Oh yeah.

Speaker: Yeah, no, it's, I think it was like, it's like 35, it was 35 grand, um, for the 2022 model. And I think it's actually going down by like eight grand or nine grand next year. Cause they have a new production line. So like, it's, I mean, it's not a really high frills car, but it is like, it, it gets me from A to B. It transports my kids to transport my kids stuff. I mean, it's a Chevy. I can't be managing. It's made in America.

Speaker: Yeah, no, I just I had I had a Chevy Cruz. I loved it. I bought it brand new in two in 2017. I absolutely loved it. Unfortunately, my kids are growing up. What's going on? Triple R. Triple R in the house. Al Bundy. Al Bundy. Best quarterback of all time. Yeah.

Speaker: but I just recently upgraded to an Equinox. I traded my cruise in for Equinox. I can't be mad at it because I bought my cruise for 14 .5 and I got 12 .5 on a trade in after I had it for four years.

Speaker: Yeah. Who did you scam to get that deal? They know the champ when they see a champ. You know what I mean? I'm just saying. You're as good as a clique. As the car guy in the group, I keep telling him, I don't know what deal with the devil he made.

Speaker: But he would never be able to make that deal again. And he keeps telling me, my biggest thing is like, I'm in, for the past like five years, I've been in between vehicles. Because where I live in - He has two broken down cars in his driveway. My car is the fucking classic Christopher, shut up. So you keep transferring parts from one to the other? No, I actually own -

Speaker: I actually own one of the very sought out car, I don't know, 97 Mitsubishi Eclipse. Okay. Calm down, Paul Walker. Oh my God. Does it have NOS? Fuck! Just pile it on, boys. I'm here. Hold on, hold on. What color are the undercarriage lights?

Speaker: Oh my god. No, none. He has, he has, he has green, white, and red for Mexican flag. Oh, wow. But I can't believe himself comes to the Glick side. Welcome to the Glick side, Chris. It's so much, it's so much better. How did I know I was going to get ganked up?

Speaker: No matter what, because I'm not a sports guy. These two give me shit all the time because I constantly look on Facebook Marketplace because I refuse to buy a brand new car. Smurchers. I'm actually the dumb idiot that literally is like, I bought a truck, let's put a 12 -inch lift on it and put a stereo that you would see at a concert as opposed to a car. And they constantly make fun of me for it.

Speaker: I can't give you shit about the fact that you bought a Chevy, but the bolt. Oh my God, dude. No, no, I get it. I get it. 5 .5 million. Calm down with affordable.

Speaker: That's how you keep your 5 .5 million. And you know what? I can't agree more. They constantly give me shit because I don't buy a car. But what I'm doing instead of buying a new car is I'm literally buying investments so that eventually I never have to work again. And Mr. Glick never seems to understand this concept because I literally get a Snapchat every couple of weeks. Just buy a fucking car!

Speaker: I was going to say, I was going to answer Cam's question and then I got to go because I have to take my daughter. So I actually get recognized more than I would assume is normal, but it's not actually that often.

Speaker: Funny enough, one of my neighbors, about six houses down, recognized me as an NFL player, but primarily from my old Twitter handle. He's like, oh, you're that Chris Warcraft guy. He's like, all right, good on you. Yeah, exactly. All right. So Chris, before you take off,

Speaker: Um, I know you got to take off. You got to, you gotta be, you gotta be a dad. And I've had to be a dad a couple of times tonight because there's, there's a few other things I've wanted to get with there or, or chit chat with you about. And the Chris work crafting was one of those things. Um, I'd love to reach out to you. I'd love to have you back on the show. Uh, sure. Yeah, no, for sure. Yeah. Just let me know. As soon as you're available. Um, I know you're not on Instagram very often, but if you want to throw out, if you're on social media, uh, feel free to throw out your social media or anything like that. Um, I, I had a lot of stuff.

Speaker: I don't

Speaker: Oh, sorry. I keep going, man. No, no, no, go ahead. We do the same thing here. Part for the course. Part for the course. I'm at Chris Clue on Instagram, although I almost never checked that. Other than that, send a smoke signal. Maybe I'll get it. Send a smoke signal. Yeah. Well, I have your email now, but I would love to have you on again very soon because there's a lot of things. I mean, cause, you know, you, you, Oh, we didn't touch all half the stuff that we could have talked about. I was just saying, you're a writer. Yeah. You're a writer. You're a musician. You're a dad.

Speaker: Well, no, but before you head out Chris, I know you're a writer I know you're I know you're just a bit Joe Well, no, but give us a shout out of all the things you're involved with and like like for instance Blick was telling me that you're you're in part of a band give us a shout out for that band and and and I

Speaker: Unfortunately, I work all the time. So I haven't been able to do my research. But anything you've written, give us a shout out to where we can find your written works.

Speaker: Okay, yeah, so I have a science fiction book out. It's called Otaku. You can find that probably wherever books are sold. It was released by Tor. I have another self -published one called Prime. Me and my buddy Andy wrote that one. That one you can probably only order from Amazon. And pro tip, if you ever want to sell something on Amazon Prime, do not name your thing Prime because no one will find it.

Speaker: I was in a band called Tripping Acres. You can find our music on Spotify if you wish. I think we're also on Bandcamp, maybe on iTunes. I have no idea. You're also on Bandcamp? No shit. Okay.

Speaker: Yep. And then, yeah, let's see other stuff I've done. Um, I think I've done some other stuff, but yeah, I can't remember. You've done a lot of stuff. I mean, yeah, like I said, I know I want, I want to have you come back on the show. Um, this has been awesome. Um, sorry, I got to run. Like I would love to spend another like hour chatting. Yeah. I got to take my daughter to her thing. Yeah.

Speaker: Run, go be a dad. We're all three dads, so we all know what that's like. I'll hit you up. I'll send you an email, and maybe we can get together again. And we'll just have you just jump in to the show from Jump Street with us one night, very soon. And we can just hang out and do the show together. Because there's a lot of things I want to

Speaker: Talk to you about and plus you're a super cool guy. Like I didn't expect this. I didn't know how to. I was nervous and excited at the same time because of being a football fan and then also knowing. You know all the things you've done outside of the NFL and like.

Speaker: Oh, I'm super nervous right now, but at the same time super excited. And then you come in here and you're like, boom, he's, he's, you're one of us. The one thing you've taught us tonight is that you're one of the boys you're, we can, we can, we can pick on you just as much as we can on everybody else.

Speaker: man. That was awesome. Hey shout out to Chris. That was shout out to shout out to Chris. That was awesome. Uh I can't wait to have him back on the show. I'm going to thank you for hooking that up. Chris. Thank you for coming through. Yes. That is monumental for this Joker right here because he's always wanted a whole bunch of **** to make his show big. Everybody's got something bad to say about this damn show. How many of you mother **** got celebrities out there? He has now entered my echelon.

Speaker: You gotta be able to laugh at yourself. Otherwise how can you laugh at someone else?

Speaker: of interviewing famous people. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

Speaker: I cannot, I can...

Speaker: I cannot back to back. **** you. I cannot and I will not. I I cannot and I will not take credit for this. This is all Cam. Kill it. It was Cam. It was Cam. I love your brother. Cheers to you, man. Yes, Cam. Thank you, sir. Cheers, Cam, for real. Um good. Congratulations. I've been holding on to it. I've been holding on to a fried chicken for the past 45 minutes. It's a low -level live streamer who has interviewed a millionaire.

Speaker: That wasn't a porn star.

Speaker: She wasn't even. Yes, she was. Don't fucking shoot on my damn interview. I'm not shooting on your interview, man. I ain't talk to a sis. You son of a bitch. I didn't do that. I was there supporting you. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

Speaker: Wait, wait, wait, wait. I supported you and I was happy for you, man. So don't even put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby. No, no, no, no. No, explain this to me. What happened? Tony had Tracy Bingham on his show on Haps. Tracy Bingham. Twice. Twice, yes, twice, twice. Tracy Bingham caught fame.

Speaker: Uh, as a celebrity for being on Baywatch, the original Baywatch, the original Baywatch. Okay. Um, uh, she was a model. She was a model. Uh, after Baywatch, she did some, no, she did. You know what? As, as a movie guy, as a movie guy, and I think, and I think Tony, you can say the same thing, some, uh, movies, a couple of movies, a couple little B movies.

Speaker: But she also jumped to the world of porn. And you don't talk to her no more? She was not a full on porn star. She was not like ABN. That's my problem right here. If I say a motherfucker don't do it, stop talking to shit about it. Now, Jay tried to bring it up that it was on Wikipedia. When he brought it up there, it made her mad. It pissed me the fuck off. It's not on Wikipedia, it's on the internet.

Speaker: Chris, I hate to be the bad news, but Wikipedia is the internet. Well, it wasn't on Wikipedia, but it was on the internet. Yeah, it was on the internet. Thank you, Will. Well, thank you. God damn, only think about it. Will you say that she was? She was on that Celebrity VH1 show. Yes. Yes. No. And I'm not taking a shot at Tracy for doing whatever you want to call it. Whatever the alternative, the alternative. You know, Max?

Speaker: no no no the alternative the alternative um lifestyle business okay okay but she was Tracy was huge she was huge in the 90s

Speaker: She was huge. What's her name? Tracy Bingham. And I did not shit on you, Tony D. I believe I was in, I might have been in both broadcasts, but I know I was in the first one. I supported you.

Speaker: I think you came. I supported you. No, I was proud of you. I still am. I still am. I'm not throwing shade on you in any way, shape, and or form or anything like that. Like Jay did. Jay was disrespectful. Oh, dude. Piece of shit. Those who weren't out there. Oh, it's Jay. When I was doing that. When I was doing interview, I was trying to keep it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It was not it was not an excuse where you can say it was Jay. No, he was a disrespectful

Speaker: piece of shit when Tony had his on the first time. No, it's not Jay. No, no, no, no, it was it was beyond him being Jay. It was asinine. It was ridiculous. It was just being a stupid clown. He should have. Dude, dude. Yeah, he should have been there. He should have been there supporting Tony. You know how y 'all thought I was mad the other day? I would have went on just that night.

Speaker: I was furious. Tony was pissed because Tony and I talked about it like afterwards and stuff like that. And I don't blame him. No matter how you feel about a situation, that's your boy. And that was my mindset was like, I gotta be here. I gotta support my guy. This is a big deal for Tony.

Speaker: No, I mean, yeah, you get any celebrity of any rank on your show. That's a big fucking deal. I was so nervous that first interview and Jeff, you only realized I interviewed her twice. It was a four hours a piece. She was there and she was just, she was rolling with us. She was rolling. Yeah. And for those of you who don't know when you are here on this show,

Speaker: She was the black woman on the show. She was fucking beautiful. Yes, she was. Well, it doesn't matter if she's black, white, purple, green, or polka dotting. Yeah, I was going to say. A lot of people would be like, who is it? Who is it? When you say it like that, they'd be like, oh, that's who it was. And they'd be like, no, no, no, no. No, but like, I, to be 100 % honest, I've never watched Baywatch. I know Pam, I understand, on it, when Hasselhoff was on it.

Speaker: Dude, we are so much like tonight. It wasn't an interview. No, it was not. Like we don't do interviews on the show. I was explaining this to a client today. You're on my YouTube. I got both of those interviews on my YouTube page.

Speaker: I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could

Speaker: I was explaining to a client today. You do got to block those folks. Oh, 100%. But somebody like Jay Money, who has 975 million accounts, it's hard to block all.

Speaker: No, but it's like because he knows he's a fucking scumbag at the end of the day. And this is coming from a guy who has known Jay for over 10 plus years. And he's a cool dude. He is a cool dude, but he's there with that.

Speaker: He does come across like a good dude. I'll give him that. But when you're doing a show and you're trying to do something legitimate, he's a fucking scumbag. He's a dirtbag and he's a piece of shit. Actually, you know what? I take that back. He's not a scumbag and he's not a piece of shit. He's a jealous motherfucker.

Speaker: Like exactly. And I was explaining to you. You a jealous motherfucker who ain't doing shit. And you know, I just want to come and shit on everybody else who's doing something. We actually good with Jay. Jay has had moments where I love Jay. Because Jay is cool, but Jay does that shit that'll make you want to rule along.

Speaker: Oh my goodness. It's like I was explaining to somebody today, one of my clients was asking me about the podcast and I said, she said, do you guys do interviews? Technically, we don't do interviews, we do hangs. We ask questions with a guest and we just kind of hang out and do our own thing where an interview is like what Jay Leno fucking did.

Speaker: I mean, we ask questions, obviously. They never used to shoot the shit with people. He had to do an interview, but he'll shoot the shit with you. Right. And actually, actually, actually jump on what Tony D just said. I 100 % agree with you, Tony D. And Jimmy Fallon does the same thing. Absolutely. You are on a show, and you've got to ask certain questions. But at the same time, you can just hang. It's a hang. And that's what we've done with Rocky, with Rod,

Speaker: Brandon for him. Yeah, you know, Chris tonight, Jordan and her mom.

Speaker: Absolutely. Yeah. Jordan, her mom. Yeah. Speaking of which, Jordan. Speaking of which, shout out to Jordan because she is living her best life. I am to the moon. So happy for her. Excited for her. Right. She's doing her damn thing. She comments on her post. She commented. Oh, oh, sorry. I forgot to mention what's his name. Prince of Darkness. Prince of Darkness.

Speaker: I see him on TikTok. Thank you. Thank you. I actually follow him on TikTok. I forgot. I apologize. I forgot. Bernie, fucker. Good day. God damn it. But yeah, I mean, it comes down to we don't do interviews. We do hangs where we hang out with what? Glick froze. Take over.

Speaker: Yeah, that's what I said. We don't do interviews. We do a hang where we have a guest on. And 90 % of the time, it's normally just the three of us or sometimes four of us or sometimes cams up here. And I was explaining this to someone today. I said, our show is like walking into a locker room.

Speaker: Exactly. And getting a view from the male point of perspective of basically three idiots. And that's not an idiot. I'm not an idiot. I'm a knucklehead. Same difference. An idiot, knucklehead, dumbass, asshole. It's all the same thing. The three of us combined create one giant asshole that's just a dumbass. No, we're not here to get fucked. Fuck that. No.

Speaker: Wow, Tony, now I know where your Brian is. No, but, but I was explaining to her, I was playing to this client today. Oh shit, I just unplugged my brain. I was explaining to this client today that, that we're not a show that is scripted at all.

Speaker: because the three of us don't have the patience to do a script. The three of us don't have the patience to do a script. The three of us don't have the patience to do a script. The three of us don't have the patience to do a script. The three of us don't have the patience to do a script. The three of us don't have the patience to do a script. The three of us don't have the patience to do a script. The three of us don't have the patience to do a script. The three of us don't have the patience to do a script. The three of us don't have the patience to do a script. The three of us don't have

Speaker: We are a construction crew's dream of a podcast. Because we don't hold back. There are some subjects. We are unfiltered interracial version of King of the Hill. Fuck that. Ah. You like that. I do like that. I applaud. Because you need a drink, and we will talk some shit, OK? Oh, 100%. And I'm pretty much fucking lit. Tonight, I've had four really strong white Russians.

Speaker: Wushions, Wushions, Wushions, I can't speak tonight. I've had a week, Tony. Let me tell you, I'm dealing with, with - Today kicked my ass, now you froze. These two men with their frozen leg and white face, you wonder why I got the belt in it. I want you all to know who the champ is. I'm holding this shit the fuck down, all right? Okay, now - No, no, no, no.

Speaker: I'm old and shit down motherfucker, you have a set of three words. But when it comes down to, you can't put our show into a classification because we're all over the place all the time. Yeah. And we have fun doing it. Yeah. And most of you can't do this on your best day.

Speaker: that's right and 90 % of the **** we say is **** and and that's pick and pick infinity. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on a second. Jeff. Uh yeah. What is your charge? My computer is completely dead. Oh, I don't know. **** your charge. I need it. That sounds like a you problem. Sounds like a you problem. I have two things left for this thing. It's I need your charger. Oh my god. My

Speaker: Sorry. Wow. I'm overly excited because it's been a week already. It's only hump day! We forgot how to give the hump day today. Kingly Baratheons has begun, peasant. Oh, Jesus Christ. I'm going to fucking punch Brian in the face when I ever meet him. No, no, Tony D. A couple of minute. When I first came back in here, I want this to come across crystal clear with no interruptions. What did you say about what we do?

Speaker: I said, we are the unfiltered interracial version of King of the Hill. No. We don't know. I mean, you're not wrong, but that's not what you said. You said people are mad because they can't do what we do. Oh, I said that, yes. Oh, 100%. I agree. No, but I wanted an unfiltered, uninterrupted. Oh, no, say it again, Tony. Loud and clear. People are mad.

Speaker: because they can't do what we do. Right. Because between the three of us, and thank you, Tony, between the three of us, we literally - There's no problem in this. Motherfucker, I'm hammered. No, you don't have to cheer me on the crowd. I was just cheering because you speak an 100 % truth, man. No, because literally -

Speaker: With the exception of occasionally we have like news stories or top five or something like that, 90 % of this show is 100 % unscripted. Oh, yes.

Speaker: 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90. 90.

Speaker: My check, my check, motherfucker, I'm here. I thought about it. That's me. That's me. That's true. That's true. That's true. And attorney has been responding to our chat, which I know he had to work today. He would have heard the same thing. But no, no, no, I told I told Jeff, I told Jeff, I said, shut the fuck up. What the answer is, let the questions be answered. Right. Don't interrupt.

Speaker: and just...

Speaker: we're gonna be ourselves but we're gonna we're gonna be professional about it respectful and we're gonna let Chris talk all fairness he gave you most of the night before we went we both did oh no no no i think we handled ourselves no i think i mean i mean i mean at the end of the day chris came in chris came in ready to roll with us i was i was kind of shocked i was impressed i was on his own i was honestly i guess the three idiots

Speaker: I was very nervous. I was very, very nervous. Yeah, I was very nervous for tonight. I was excited. I shit you not. Chris literally told me, do not bring up. Lips us out. And I literally, you literally, it was a giant flag waved at the bull going, look, laces out, motherfucker, laces out. I couldn't help myself. He couldn't help himself. No, he couldn't. But he held out as long as he could.

Speaker: But it did explain to him the difference between a kicker and opponent. I appreciate it for him. Yeah. Well, it was, it was, as I told Jeff, as, as, as, as, as Jeff and I were talking today, I said, we're not taking breaks. I'm not worried about breaks. Right. We're going to, we're going to roll with it. And if we're out here until 11 o 'clock tonight, because we're having fun, we're going to roll the, we're going to run with it.

Speaker: Um, and, and I feel like, you know, a lot of state had Chris not had to leave to be a dad, which we all understand here. You know, we'd still be here doing our thing. Have our, you know, having our conversations bullshitting. Um, but, um, you know, it was, it was.

Speaker: I mean, it was the perfect spot and the perfect moment. I couldn't deny Jeff and I knew what he wanted to do. That's why I put him in timeout. That's why I knew I could see it in your face. You're like this motherfuckers going to say it.

Speaker: And this is a little behind the scenes for nonsensical nonsense, but - No, but I mean - No, it was - But I waited - And, Joni, don't ever apologize. I can't tell you anything. Don't ever apologize. I wanted you. I wasn't gonna bring up the Kaepernick. You hear plenty of leeway when I apologize. I'm losing my control, honestly. No, no. I wanted to bring up the Kaepernick thing for his situation, but I was gonna wait and see if you did it.

Speaker: because I didn't know. Yeah, I know I knew you were going to, but at the end of the day, it would have made more sense for you to do it than me to do it. And that's why I told you don't apologize. I didn't want to bring up something like that until the conversation brought it up and I wasn't necessarily sure what his stance was on it. I'm glad he said what he said. And I was trying to understand where he was coming from. Because everybody got on me and some people really pissed and cannot carry a conversation about that topic.

Speaker: No, 100%. It really cannot. No, because you can ask 400 people the same question that you asked Tony and get 400 different answers. I could debate both sides. I'm not going to get all furious like I would about the Minnesota incident.

Speaker: because the college, I mean, he put it down like it was. He was an interpreter. You ain't fucking listening. And I've had it. No, but, you know, something Chris was saying when we were doing the interview, or the hang, or whatever you want to call it, is he honestly could determine, and it was 100 % justified, that what he did on his free time was his free time. He's right. That's what the organization told him.

Speaker: Exactly. And it backfired on him. Yeah, it backfired on him. But at the end of the day, I think he was in the right. And this is coming from somebody that has no fucking clue about Chris's career.

Speaker: Uh, because I, I honestly, until it was brought up on Monday, I had no idea who the band was. I did do my research, but, but it comes down to, yeah, exactly. Exactly. You know, um, I can't exactly agree with 100 % of what my car's he bought, but you know, I get it.

Speaker: Yeah, but you know, and this and this comes back to what Tony's and Tony. I believe that what you say when when we do our football conversations and we and we do the football show and whether it continues. Forward going into playoffs and in the offseason, that's totally up to you. I will make a better effort to be there more often. And Tony, you told me I'm a numbers guy. I'm a stats guy. I'm I'm I'm.

Speaker: You know, like I'm that guy who's going to say when Tony says, well, you know, I mean, I wouldn't go with, uh, Brock Purdy this week and I'm going to go, well, Tony, let's look at the numbers for a second. And this is, this is why you should really consider Brock Purdy in the San Francisco 49ers.

Speaker: because I get a little bit more involved. I always have it. That's how Tony, how you feel about Star Trek? Yeah, no, no, how Tony feels about Star Trek and how you... When I was talking about your new Chevy, the Colorado having the 2 .7 -liter Ford cylinder blew my mind. Chris is like, I don't get it. But you could shout out stats to me all day, and I'm like, I have no fucking idea what you're talking about.

Speaker: So I get where you're coming from with that and and the two you talking You're both knowledge. You know Chris and Tony you're both habit of Extremely impressive in knowledge of American football to the point where I Don't even think I know every position on the team, right?

Speaker: I find it extremely impressive that you guys have set knowledge inside and out of the game because I think it comes down to myself. I don't give a fuck at the end of the day about football, but it's something you're both passionate about. So when you guys do your football show,

Speaker: you both have something important to say about the game and about said players. Like tonight, I was extremely impressed with Crispy and having that record in his rookie season, 50 something yards of punter. I can't walk 50 yards without needing a cigarette. So I find that extremely impressive. I couldn't kick a single fucking punt

Speaker: even a quarter of what he kicks and be okay with it where I wouldn't hurt myself. Yeah. This guy had a career of eight years doing that. I find that extremely impressive because I always have the one thing I do is I give credit where credit is due.

Speaker: So I give credit to both of you to knowing the game inside and out like you do to Chris of playing the game to full capacity.

Speaker: I was honestly really hoping I was going to get it. No, you're fine. I was really honestly hoping that he was going to end Jeff kind of spoiled the spoiled the moment where Chris made the comment of I'd like to hear a football fans explanation of the difference between a kicker and a punter. And I was like, Oh, I want to apologize because I did walk all over that. Yeah.

Speaker: Go ahead and give me, give me, give me your. But no, no, no. Let's wait. Yeah. I would like to, I would like to dive into that one. Chris is here just so he could either tell me, Hey, I'm an idiot. You know, tell me, Hey, you're a fucking. He's going to call you an idiot.

Speaker: Which is fine. I swear to God, I'm emailing him tonight to make sure to tell Chris he's an idiot. Which is fine because, in all honesty, I dumbed it down to the most simplest form for you. For me! Yeah, 100 % because, like, literally, I did not know. Tony, I shit you not. Chris and I had this conversation today on Snapchat. I literally just said, so I should not mention Ray Finkel?

Speaker: And Chris is like, oh my God, don't you fucking dare. I will fly to Cancun and punch you in the face. Because I did not know that there's a difference between a field goal kicker and a punter kicker. Well, no, not even a field goal kicker, but a kicker and a punter. Exactly. I was like, I literally sat there and went, fuck, there's a difference. Because once again, all my sports knowledge comes from movies. And Nigel Gruff did both.

Speaker: I don't have to do both and the replacements not a real football movie PSA Spoiler alert as Tony don't you fucking dare? I'm not shitting on the replacements, but as Tony D would say Tony D. What would you say in this moment? Spoiler alert small I can't get I can't do just a spoiler alert

Speaker: The replacements in real life football are not the same. That is the most real football movie ever made Shane Falco, greatest quarterback ever lived. That is not the most real football movie ever made. I will say as far as high school movie, let's go when it comes to football, uh, varsity blues and remember the Titans probably the most real when it comes high school football, high school football, college football.

Speaker: I'm gonna go ahead and give I'm gonna go ahead and give the replacement. I know. Shut up, Jeff. I'm gonna give Rudy and I'm gonna give unnecessary roughness. I forgot about Rudy as far as football goes. There's only one movie that comes.

Speaker: and and I'm speaking out of turn on both college and professional football, but I'm going to say as far as professional football goes any given Sunday may be in Jeff for you. I'll give you a nod behind the scenes NFL professional football. Draft day. Hey, I'm telling you draft days, but but any any given Sunday.

Speaker: uh might be Wildcats Wildcats was what high school that didn't Wildcats was high school yeah now so not the same speed as Chris confirmed it's not the same speed as NFL yeah so no obviously maybe you got you got three degrees of of of football

Speaker: High school because you got a Canadian league too. So that's like, no, we're talking in America. You got everybody in high school is, is busting their ass to do what they do to get to that next level. That next level is college football. You want to go to a D one school. If you have aspirations of playing in the NFL or you're a decent enough player to actually get drafted.

Speaker: And then when you go from the college and you're in college, your aspirations is NFL. But like Chris said, and I said it first and he confirmed it, it's literally 1 % of college athletes. 1 % of 1 % is what Chris said. Yeah, goes to the NFL. I mean, seriously. Because there are 1 ,600 guys total doing that job.

Speaker: And what's crazy, if you really think about it, I could put 1 ,600 guys in a single building. Without even trying. Yeah. When I worked at OSU, my library seen 200 to 300.

Speaker: 1 ,000 people a day. Exactly. So, 1 ,600 people. And we're going to take 1%, we're going to take 1 ,600 people out of 2 to 300 ,000 people. Well, think about 1 ,600 people versus the planet.

Speaker: The planet Earth is right now, what, like 7 billion people, give or take a couple hundred thousand. 1600 people is like 0 .2 % of the planet. Yeah. At any given time. That is a fucking staggering number. So the fact that my man Chris was able to do what

Speaker: superstar superstar as regardless i i i didn't even we didn't even tap we didn't even tap on his accolades look at his accolades as an nfl player oh no i i was i was this morning in between meetings i was looking him up and looking at his stats now granted i could look at the stats all day and i don't know what the fuck i'm looking at but you don't know what the hell you're looking at i saw big numbers and at the end of the day

Speaker: My man was able to run with the big dogs where everybody else can't get off the fucking porch. I just love the fact that he made the ultimate health heel turn and you thought he was on team Jeff and he flipped it on your ass. And at the end of the day, he was teamed like.

Speaker: come to the click side, my son. Star Wars reference. I'll never forgive him for that. I do. I do love the fact that I got to play a nerd video on a celebrity and he loved it. This motherfucker laughing his ass off going, yes, I am a nerd. I watched you walk away going, don't fucking do it. Don't fucking do it. My man played it off like I get it.

Speaker: cool cat cool cat man. I look forward to having him back on the show. Um I'm gonna I'm gonna email him tomorrow. Thank you for coming on tonight and and and find out when he's free again because in all honesty, I wanna bring him out from Jump Street. I wanna bring him out from the beginning of the show and let him hang out with us and and and in all honesty, I do there are things I wanna talk to him about but in all honesty,

Speaker: I just want to hang out with us and do a show with us. 100%. You know, there's a lot of people out there. They couldn't take the nerd video. They would take it wrong. Most, some of the videos we play are little clips like the asshole and the, what's the other one? I mean, where the white women at has been knocked down to only golf. Yeah. Only go home. Only go home. Yeah, because Tony doesn't get it anymore.

Speaker: Tony gets it. What? Like, there's people. Tony, Tony, let me get your mic. Shut up, chef. Let me get your mic, Tony, dude. What's this motherfucking up? What's up? What's this motherfucker now? He says you don't get the word. No, no, no, no. What I meant, what I meant, Mike doesn't get it. As in, I don't play it when he shows up. That's not Tony D's music.

Speaker: Right. That was the funniest fook scene in that movie though. I ain't gonna lie. Hey, boy! Look what I got here! Hey, where are the white women at?

Speaker: That is golf's music, man. That is, that is golf's intro. That is his intro. Damn y 'all committed tonight. Hey, are you mad? Let's shut up the cheddar's box. Let's go ahead. Unbelievable. Golf, you are right. We are committed tonight. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up, Jeff.

Speaker: Shout out to the Chatterish Box, whoever's in here watching. All right, I gotta get ready for bid. I gotta meet them all. Comment of the night, folks. Comment of the night. I'm the champ, you dizzy bastards. First of all, you are the fantasy football champ, but you've been put on notice. You're silly, some bitch.

Speaker: You better put on notice, you silly son of a bitch. Hopefully our NFL fantasy football league commissioner knows what the hell he's doing next year. First of all, hopefully the loudest voice in the room knows what he's doing next year. Oh, the loudest voice in the room didn't get to draft his team. You've been making an excuse all season. It's not an excuse, it's factuality. Excuses. As much as I would love the end part of the fantasy football thing, I have zero interest.

Speaker: It's factuality. Stop playing your bullshit. Stop catering to people and then see how it is. You part of the bullshit. You didn't cater to my ass. I told you do what you need to do to get everybody in here. And you did what you needed to do to get everybody in there. And I was at a concert that you told me to go to. I did.

Speaker: question. question. gentlemen. I'm going to drive while driving. Wait, I got a question. You think I'm going to do a draft when I'm watching one of my favorite bands live? You know where my phone was? I said my pre draft and just watch it go. What's the problem? You think I gave two shits in a **** about an NFL fantasy football draft when I was seeing one of my favorite bands live and in person when I was this far away from the lead singer?

Speaker: You almost took this pic, didn't you? What? We did touch tips. We did touch tips. Don't judge us. And we looked at each other in the eye when we did it. Look at me. You sexy little short red -haired son of a bitch. Thank you.

Speaker: You big bearded bastard. No, okay. I care about your draft when Matt was singing to me this far away. I have a question about fantasy football. If I didn't like a, if I, if I joined in the fantasy football, would it upset you if I won? No, I made the league for people. I mean, I wouldn't know who to fucking, I wouldn't. I mean, can I put Chris on my team? I'm just saying.

Speaker: This is two and three years. I don't know why. We've got a team either. Excuse me. Son of a gulp. I guess you did. I've seen you in the chat, you lying ass prick. Gentlemen, it is Wednesday night.

Speaker: We have to end the show because I need to get to bed. We're going to end the show. I'm beat. I'm going to sleep. You enjoy yourself. All I hear is I'm on my man rag. I don't want to drink alone. I don't want to drink alone. Tony, Tony, don't worry. Tony, Tony, Tony. I got you covered. Chris? A, B, C, D.

Speaker: I got no problem with anybody else. I'm just talking to you specifically. Fuck both of you. Golf Hawk, you want to come over here and have a beer with me? Have a beer with me? Enjoy, because I need to get to fucking bed. I need to eat something. Pussy, pussy. Get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here. I will fucking go. Did you discuss me?

Speaker: It is 11 minutes past our closed on 12 minutes at this point to the minute 2020 baby. Tony likes that red MD 2020. Why are you laughing? Why are you laughing Jeff? You like that orange MD 2020 you goofy bastard.

Speaker: And honestly, I can honestly say, I don't think I've ever had MD. I can honestly say you're full of shit. I can honestly say you're full of shit, Jeff, because in high school, one of the few times that we drank together, you drank MD 2020 orange. Did I really?

Speaker: Yes, you did. Of course you don't remember. Is that the guy that fucking passed the fuck out and got all fucking threw up all over myself? Probably. Yeah, you passed the fuck out, threw up all over yourself. You, you ended up in the back of my truck and the next morning I rolled you out onto the into the field. That wasn't my fucking field. That was on my house. I knew it was. Yeah.

Speaker: I was like, I got to leave and you're like still half dead to the world. I was like, yeah, you rolled me out the back of your phone. Tony, I shit you down. I dropped 12 feet out of the back of his motherfuckers truck and his motherfucker just started his truck up, close his tailgate and left my ass there. He was at home. He was at home. He was fine. I was like 500 yards from my house. Yeah.

Speaker: Before you make me ask to be the bad guy, Jeffrey, I'm the one who put you in the back of my truck after you threw up all of yourself, tucked you in and made sure that you are safe. You threw me in the bed of your truck like I was a fucking

Speaker: sack of potatoes. Like I was fucking lumber for the fucking campfire. That has nothing to do with anything. The fact of the matter is you threw up all of yourself. I put you in the bed of my truck. I put you in the back of my truck. You'll get it. Where you were safe, where you were safe, you were sound. Nobody's going to bother you. You weren't throwing up no more. And I took care of you in the next

Speaker: The next afternoon when I decided I was going home, I pushed you out into the field. I was like, I gotta go home. I got to change and go to work. Bye, Jeff. This motherfucker put his foot on my back and went. Love you. As Bob Smith used to put it, he pooshed me.

Speaker: I'm going to go for gentlemen. I think it was the first and last time I drank MD. What are we doing? What are we doing in the show tonight with Tony D? We haven't done it in a long time. We haven't done what in a long time? Wicked woman. It's like four and a half hours long. This is true. Let's just real quick. Let's see.

Speaker: Let's see what's quick. Let's do it for the money. Do it for the money for Tony D and our new friends and our new friend, Chris. Next one down.

Speaker: That's not doing first one.

Speaker: What's the price for being alone? And which bank do you own? Did you decide what you were told?

Speaker: Do you do it for the love? Do it for the money? Before I die again, the risk is okay Cash is king and I'm a jester honey Do you do it for the love? Are you doing for the money?

Speaker: Do you do it for the love, or do it for the money? Before I die young and they'll make you love you Cash is key and you're the guest of honey Do you do it for the love, or do you do it for the money?

Speaker: You do it by my love, I do it by my money

Speaker: Do you do it for the love, or you do it for the money? I like that song. I do like that song. I sing along to that song. It's fucking awesome. I do like that song. I play that song just for Tony. I do like that song. Excuse me. I can see Tony with the Mohawk. Oh, fuck no. Being in the crowd. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I just, no, no, no, no, no. Fuck all that. So yes, no. He's hilarious.

Speaker: No. No, but I just want someone to watch Tony head bang. Oh, go ahead. He was a butt head style. He was a butt head style. I'll give you the head bang song that I would head bang to. What would you head bang to? Annie up by Busta Rhymes and MOP. Watch the video. Not a song to head bang to. I gotta say. Yes, it is. We'll actually have a monster.

Speaker: That's the sound of the police. See, this is why I'm trying to go to bed with me. Hey, gentlemen. Great show tonight, boys. Yes, it was. Jeffrey. Give us a proper outro. Give us our social media. Give us all that shit, Chris. What are you, drunk? No, actually, I'm not in all honesty.

Speaker: feeling good you got damn right oh fuck i'm fucking i am three sheets i've only had an appetizer yeah no i've only had an appetizer i am three sheets to win i finished off my bottle of glue

Speaker: Well, I was going to do the outro after the, you know, the goodbyes, but I will go ahead and hit you one time with it. Appreciate y 'all listening. We appreciate y 'all hanging out. Huge thank you to our new friend. I'm gonna go ahead and say new friend of the podcast. I agree. Chris Cooley, former NFL. Legend. Legend. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. When I say - Superstar.

Speaker: No, no, no, no. When I say, when I say, hold on, I gotta, my, my ear bud just died. So I gotta, I gotta do this properly. Jeff, Jeffrey. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Wait for it. And I hope, I hope you're not allergic to dairy. I hope you're not lactose and dog because it's going to be dairy.

Speaker: NFL puncher from the Minnesota Vikings. Chris Cool. Thank you for joining us. It was a great show. He was awesome. He rolled with us. He hung out with us. He came in hot. He came in fired up and ready to go from Jump Street. So shout out to him. I do look forward to having him come back on here very soon. I'm actually going to try to get him on

Speaker: Monday or next Wednesday, Saturday. Oh, speaking of speaking to the podcast. Yeah. I won't be here Saturday. So if y 'all want to run the show run the show. Okay. Well, it's Nikki's got to work and then we're going out to eat and then it's a friend of hers birthday party. So see you Monday. See you Monday. Y 'all are so small violin.

Speaker: No, no, smallest record player playing the world's sweetest sorrow for you. Okay, fuck you guys. Don't do the show Saturday night. We're taking Saturday night off because fuck Jeff and well, Tony, you're cool, but fuck Jeff. I don't even know if we'll be able to. I was about to say the same thing. I am. I was literally going to tell you boys that I don't know how my Saturdays look at this point.

Speaker: Okay. Well, we won't be here Saturday. There you go. Let's call. We'll be back Monday. We'll definitely be back from Monday for sure. Um, maybe we'll be back Monday. Yeah. We'll be back Monday for sure. Um, and I'm going to try to get Chris back on next week. Uh, who knows? Uh, Monday is a holiday. Is it really? So I mean, if I have to work, if I don't have to work Monday, I'm not going to come home until Monday, but I'll be home in time for the podcast. Copy that.

Speaker: So, but, uh, you know, we're trying to get Chris back on here. How, who knows? Chris fit right in with us. You know what? Let's try to get him as our fourth guest, fourth host, maybe. But he's not a sports guy anymore, man. He's walked away from that. Fuck that. He's a cool dude. That's all. He's a cool dude. Whenever he wants. Exactly. Let's give him an open invitation every week. So anywho, what I was trying to say was,

Speaker: Thank you, Chris, for joining us tonight. That was awesome. Shout out to Cam. Cam, you the fucking man, bro. Cam, big ups to Cam tonight. Remember what I told you, Cameron, from Jump Street. The worst thing that they can do is say no or not acknowledge you, so don't be afraid. Go big or go home. Yeah, can't run those big dogs. Carry a big stick.

Speaker: No, no, no, no, no. No, you gotta do the Jack Nicklaus. Talk, walk softly and carry an armored tank division. It's basically all you had to do was end the damn show. That's all you had to do. Shut up, Tony. That's basically what I said. Speak softly, carry a big stick.

Speaker: Oh, but Nicholas walks off heavy equipment operator over there. That was, that was one of the episodes I was listening to today. Fucking Tony D fucking completely blindsided me and derailed me. I've been a heavy equipment operator my whole life. I'm the whole, I literally just had to think about that for a second and went, Oh no.

Speaker: I don't treat Tony D like a friend fuck y 'all bitches I'll make that fucking six -hour drive this motherfucker call me in the morning. Would you?

Speaker: Chris, I hate to argue with you, but Tony D is not your boy. Tony D is your brother, just like he is my brother. Tony, I love you. At the end of the day, I consider you both my brothers.

Speaker: Human shield to say I'm 100 % JD I will eventually wear him down and he's gonna tell me he loves me back exactly That is my goal of Nonsense go nonsense get Tony to tell us he loves us. No, I just want him to tell me it was me back. I love you brown bear You have to tell me

Speaker: I know you and I know I'm your polar bear. We know you're a little bit scared to say it. We love you, Tony. Or an albino sass. Watch. I'll take that. I'm your albino sass. Watch. You're ready? Tony's like, just in the fucking shade, Blake.

Speaker: You're in my web With that being said hey guys, thank you guys for hanging out. We do appreciate it and a huge shout out to to Chris clearly Joining us former Minnesota Vikings punter. That was awesome I can't wait to have him back on here because I mean from jump Street as I said He was he was he was one of them. He was one of us Oh

Speaker: Yeah, you can roll. It was super fun. Shout out. Huge shout out to Cam. Huge, huge. Shout out to Cam. Cam, I owe you a roll of quarters. That's common. Oh, sorry. Same difference. No, not same difference. Sure, why not? I kept Cam locked in my basement in a cage for four years. Oh, my bad. When he turned 18, I let him free because he was too old.

Speaker: No, but no seriously huge shout out to cam for all the work he does behind the scenes for this show You know, I said it earlier

Speaker: you know, when I'm when I'm feeling like everything that I do and you guys back me up and it's not a shot at you guys, but you guys back me up because I literally do everything behind the scenes, the editing, the post, the promotions. No, I know. I give you 100 % props for all that shit because I know after about three episodes of doing it, I'd be like, **** this. You guys do. Yeah. And and and and Cam's been that Cam has been that mainstay like

Speaker: Amen. I believe in you guys. I believe in what you guys do. He's helping me. He's promoting the show. He's, he's, he's lining up guests. He's, he's doing all this and everything else. So huge shout out to cam. Oh man. What a fun show tonight. What a fun show tonight. If you guys are not already.

Speaker: Go ahead and check us out on all them social medias, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. Tortoise Live every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday night right here. Get in the chatter's box, you silly sumbitches. Don't be scared. Just be friendly. If you're not friendly, well... That's okay. We got something for you. If you're not friendly, well, then it is what it is.

Speaker: And if you can't join us live, you can listen to us anytime you'd like on Spotify and anywhere you listen to podcasts, all that nonsensical nonsense. We're not hard to find. Give us a follow. Give us a like. And if you'd be so kind, as Jeff says, sharing is caring. So give us a share.

Speaker: What other people know about us? What other people know what we do? And don't forget to turn your notifications on. That way you know what we do when we do how we do. Baby, baby. Look at me, look at that. Well, that's some of the police. Tony.

Speaker: What are you going to say to the people? You know what? I'm not really worried about what Tony has to say to the people. We're going to do this right now. I'm going to give Tony out. I trust me. I know what I want to know what Tony wants to say to the people, but in proper nonsensical nonsense order, Jeffrey. We're done with the show. What do we do now? What do you want to say? Bye.

Speaker: That's my new one for 23. Sorry. You remember when Chris said he took a stand and grabbed his platform? Chris is on my team. I just got to say. He did that for me. Tony D. That's hard to follow. My man's. My man's in them. My brother from another mother of a different color. I hope these assholes know one time Tony D.

Speaker: I think before you act, it's the best way to stay out of jail. My mother had you. My mother made you. My mother fucked you. Facts. Those are the biggest words ever. Sorry, facts. Keep you out of jail. I like that, Tony. Can I steal that? I've been telling kids there for years. Where were you 20 years ago?

Speaker: Yeah, I'll say you probably heard him and ignored him like you do both of us. We're telling you Jeff. Shut up. Jeff. Shut up. Jeff. Shut up. Take it. It's too shady. Too shady, gentlemen. Too shady. Jeff. I believe Jody and I have both looked at each other on this broadcast more times than we would like to count on this motherfucker. Too shady. With that being said, ladies and gentlemen.

Speaker: and the words of the champ the champ not the champ respect to Tony D because Tony D's the champ I'm and I'm the champ be good or be good at it goodbye motherfuckers hit the button

Speaker: the the the