Nonsensical Nonsense 320 Why are you so drunk on a Wednesday!!

Transcript

Speaker: Yes.

Speaker: Yeah buddy. Happy booking home day business. This is just a test.

Speaker: We're all safe from the testing that went on today. It's October 4th. There was like a national emergency testing bullshit that went out today across everybody's radios, TVs, and phones. And your favorite people, because you are one of those people, Jeffrey, the

Speaker: tinfoil hat wearing conspiracy theory nutbags were like, this is the government and they're going to set off the nanobites that are inside of us from the COVID shots and release. All it's been on Tiktok and shit. People were losing their money. Yes, exactly. Oh my God. It was just a fucking test. People this, however,

Speaker: This is real life. This is not a warning. This is nonsensical nonsense. That's Jeffrey. I'm the intergalactical champion in the building. Uh, Hey, you know, it's smoky, the bandit day. The trip inside of us that they put in there in second right now, you can just explode. I thought we were going to all be turned into super soldiers like Bucky from Captain America.

Speaker: Only for him. That would have been the case other than holding my phone in my ear. The only person. The only person. You're not in because you're not vaxxed. Anti -vaxxer. I have. Hey. The vaccinated, our super serum kicks in and then we're programmed to go destroy all the unvaccinated and the Trump supporters. Believe it or not, there were people out there saying that was going to happen too. Oh, I know.

Speaker: Yeah, it is uh, it is officially my favorite day of the year. Oh, Jeff will absolutely die in the zombie apocalypse. Uh, no, cause I'm gonna, I'm gonna. I'm gonna take your zombie ass like they did in, in, uh, Sean of the Den, tie you up on my shed and play video games. I'm not gonna be a zombie. Okay. We don't use the Z word.

Speaker: it's offensive they're they're they're the the the reanimated corpses they're not zombies that's offensive you know you can get rid of them by removing the head or destroying the brain i'll say that again removing the head for destroying the my favorite part of that whole movie is at the end where they're talking about all these people

Speaker: And they're like, little Miguel took out his entire family with a shotgun. And they're just in a video that you hold that gun at the camera. I'm like, what the fuck? That kid's not traumatized at all? Please. Not in any way, shape, or form. But yeah, it's also my favorite day of the year. It's smoking a bandit day. Rumbi's humbly is what's going on, Wally. I don't get it.

Speaker: It's a big 10 -4, good buddy. Now I see what I did there. Today is the 10th month, fourth day. I thought yesterday was your favorite day. Fucking queer. No, no, that was, that was everybody else's seriously. Okay. So for those who don't know yesterday being October 3rd, and apparently in the movie Mean Girls, there's a scene where Lindsay Lohan's like,

Speaker: On October 3rd, he asked me what day it was. And then they play the scene. And I kid you not, it was all over TikTok. And I was like, why does this sound fucking trending all of a sudden? Until like 3 .30. I literally started a fucking calendar all day. And at 3 .30 in the afternoon, I went, oh yeah, it's October 3rd. Don't, don't, don't.

Speaker: don't go apparently motherfucking listen here listen here listen here mr harry potter before the show you were taking her quote in that movie like line for line like oh i ain't never seen it before oh no in the movie don't get wrong i actually enjoy the movie i've never seen it not not even five seconds over the only thing i know about that movie just because i've heard it a million times and people think it's funny um

Speaker: on Wednesdays, we wear pink. And I didn't even know it was from that movie until the other day when they were talking about the ten three thing on the radio. I was like, oh, that's what that's from. Yeah, that's kind of like what I did yesterday when the whole October 3rd thing was happening on on TikTok. I was like, I literally asked my wife, why is this sound trending all of a sudden? Isn't it older than fucking Jesus? And she's like,

Speaker: It's October 3rd asshole I have some interesting news. Well, honestly, would you stop just you you get so anxious when you I'm waiting for the second hour for that. I have I have other interesting news sir. I have interesting news too. I have a weird flex

Speaker: I have interesting news, too. That news is... I got a bit of a flex. Did you know that Glick, host of Nonsense Go Nonsense, was in Harry Potter? Check it out! There he is, Mr. Harry Potter himself! Still funny. Still funny.

Speaker: Still fun. We're pink. Shut up, Chris. I don't know there's anything in life. I have another video, but I'm not allowed to play it because I'm sure a hand will reach through my camera and take out my heart Indiana Jones style. Maybe. You know, I find it hilarious. But I mean, that's all you got me. I don't want to tell her you, you was your idea.

Speaker: like I don't get that reference in any way, shape and or form. So he's a, he's a troll. He's a giant troll. The guy is like, like 10 feet tall. Yeah. You don't have to explain it to me. You're a giant and I'm like little Harry Potter over there. Did you know that we're on social media and people can follow us there? No.

Speaker: Yeah, Facebook. A lot of people don't know that, but go ahead and tell them. Tick tock. You can watch us live Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays, 7 PM on YouTube and Facebook. And we're on Twitch. No, that's Triple H and Daniel Bronson. Will you bring me a beer, please? And apparently we had to be on Twitch. That's where our lurkers watch us. And, uh,

Speaker: get all their info bro. I got yelled at Monday. We're not on Twitch tonight. I got yelled at Monday because apparently I wasn't on Twitch. And as soon as I got on Twitch, it was like, I see you lurkers. I see what you did there, people. Yeah. But we are on Twitch as well. And if you can't listen to us live, you can listen to us anytime on Zincaster, Spotify, and everywhere you listen to podcasts. And I just learned today that we're on good pots. Cool.

Speaker: That's another new platform that I didn't know until today. Hey, go crush your guys's podcast on good pods. Good stuff. And I was like.

Speaker: Thanks. Cool. I hope you enjoy it. Or you can just simply go to bio .link slash nonsensical nonsense. Get all of our links and it's also going to give you links to our sponsors like liquid IV and W energy. And don't forget to use that promo code words are hard. Save you some money. I like all that. Fucking back.

Speaker: You're a little buddy. That's uh that's sir Pussy or if you're French or Poussoua. Poussoua. Poussoua. Poussoua. Poussoua. Poussoua. Poussoua. Poussoua. Poussoua.

Speaker: Let's be honest, let's be honest. Let's be honest. I got yelled at literally all weekend. I'm still getting going about this.

Speaker: Yeah. I popped him up on the screen one day. I don't remember who it was. Somebody was in the chatters box. They're like, ah, that goddamn thing off the screen. That's my alien buddy. We drink beer. Yeah, he was talking about the picture. He's talking about you. No, no, he was talking about the aliens. Not me. They're used to me at this point. All right. So let's talk about the inevitable.

Speaker: I lost in fantasy football this weekend. Well, I did go rogue. I did go rogue numbers. I was looking at the numbers and I was like, I can improve that. I was wrong. I know who that is. And I will say, I have something to say young lady.

Speaker: Yeah. Don't make me call her a video woman. It's just a quick away. No aliens. It's just not even over here letting me live my best life. I can't have fruits. I can't have. Nikki. Nikki, you're you're watching. Can I play it? What's going on? Can I play it? What's going on with you? Shall I play it?

Speaker: She said no you cannot I Will I'll make you a deal Mickey Make you a deal if you let me play this you would no longer owe me a sandwich The exact same brother the exact same working out um Well, I gotta be careful using this word because Monday I was doing a news story about an Ohio coach who got

Speaker: fired but she is the She's just literally being the best life Nazi right now From the trans joke I made on Chris, so In Ohio high school only a sandwich woman

Speaker: And you know how, like, like you might even get this reference. Uh, like Peyton Manning used to do call Audible, Audibles, and he'd be like, Utah, Utah. Well, that's what they were. That's part of their thing. And I guess I've never really paid attention or heard of it, but I guess football teams have been using Nazi for years in reference to a blitz. I guess it's in reference to blitz, the blitz Creek, you know, you got a blitz coming in. So you say, okay, I see what you're saying.

Speaker: Um, but apparently say the word anti -Semitic now. He said, he said, I was louder than you. I just turned down my mic volume. I was just wondering that that's better. I might need to turn mine up. That could be a problem too. So, but, um, the fuck is my audio. Why wouldn't, I mean, the problem.

Speaker: I mean, I get it. I get it where, where, yeah, it's offensive to scream out Nazi, but I mean, now you have no volume. Whoa. Holy shit. I don't know what you did. I just went like full screen. I have no, I don't know my whole fucking F 11.

Speaker: Oh god my screen is possessed by a demon. Hit f11. Jeff also has his mic right inside of his mouth. No actually the headphones are actually mics. I guess the word nazi is anti -semitic so that's why and it offended

Speaker: the Jewish school that they were, or the predominantly Jewish neighborhood from which the school comes from that they play, that they were playing. Sorry. Okay. I can understand where they got them. Yeah. No. So, so, so apparently, I don't know, you can't say the word for the Nazi.

Speaker: I mean, I get it. I get why they're upset but I mean, come on. What's that old thing? Sticks and stones. Yeah, but it's 2023. And sticks and stones can kill you. Our words can kill you. Well, you know, I'm I'm 42 years old.

Speaker: I've never heard a word that's killed me yet and I've heard them all. They do these languages. They do these days. Oh, that that's going to be a young person thing. Thank God. I'm not a young kid. No, God forbid. I call him. She a she or she him. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Speaker: calm down. I started to watch a show that's been rebooted on HBO and I like the original show and I started watching reboot. I didn't make it a single episode and I was like, I'm out. I'm out within within like 20 lines of the show. I was out because it went so woke. Oh yeah.

Speaker: You've never come across the woke person there, floof. You lucky motherfucker. You are the one person on the planet. He literally lives under a rock. I have far too much fun with you. He's a John Patrick star. I have far too much fun when I come across the woke person because I just toy with them because I don't fucking care. I'm not out here purposeful.

Speaker: If somebody, this is my go -to. If somebody woke, if they're like, you know, if I mispronounce somebody, and they're like, it's actually, and I literally, right there, I go, I'm offended. I take away all their ammo right there. I'm offended, you're offending me. I just have fun. And then I walk away because, fuck them. Because once again, I'm sorry, I was born in 1980,

Speaker: Nothing you can do or say can hurt me. Lest you have a gun. Just come to America, ghost. Just come to America. You'll definitely - Any major city, ghost. Any major city. I have to be important. Just chit -chatting with them and poking holes. Bye, Jeff. I have too much fun with the world, just fucking with them and poking holes in their theories.

Speaker: just generally just being a smart ass. I'm not trying to be an asshole or anything. I'm just a smart ass. Oh, I am. I'm always trying to be. Go said, I don't want to visit America. I would be sentenced for life. They won. I know that for a fact. I mean, there's a reason why I live in Cancun because I mean, at the end of the day, if I get around too many people, I'm going to go to jail.

Speaker: I'm a bunch. It's so much easier and so much funner to just be a smart ass with them. And then to really actually, because if you don't actually engage them. Yeah. And you would literally take away all their ammo. Yeah. So, you know, I, my new one. I got a new one. I pretend I'm deaf. I pretend like I'm a four year old kid. Why? Why?

Speaker: Couldn't agree with you more Benji could not fucking agree with you more 100 % man They are the you know like Excuse me why I poke the bear if you will Kind of like Christians

Speaker: I wish that they, we still had, um, uh, the paddle in the schools. I know I got my ass cracked a couple of times. Yeah. They, they, they, they, they want to preach all this, uh, uh, fucking not Christians, the woke, um, inclusion and, and open -mindedness and this, that and the other thing, but they don't have open minds and their number one goal is separation.

Speaker: Sounds a little bit 1950s racist to me. Put us in our own roots. Those people don't belong with these people and these people don't belong with dumb people and y 'all can't be over here because that isn't right. I think the word was, what was that word? Segregation, I believe. I wonder who's doing the segregating.

Speaker: fucking gerbil guy, man. Jeffrey has to go restart his hamsters. Jesus Christ. I switched up to a gerbil. Oh, you got the high -speed interwebs now. It's called 5G. But for some reason, and this happens at least once or twice a day, my internet will just die for like a full minute.

Speaker: no explanation. I'm literally above the router. So it's not a, you know, I'm too far from the router or some shit. Well, you also live in a concrete hut. That doesn't help. That was my point. Adjust your camera and show everybody your baby bump. We have big news on nonsensical nonsense. Everybody Jeff's been hiding it.

Speaker: He is, uh, he's about six months pregnant. He's got a little baby bone pushing it out. Let's be honest. Let's be honest. You're not pushing it out. Fuck you. I'm wearing my, my, my extra media. Are you wearing your fucking girdle? Well, why arc is a song that just out of curiosity, places to go into the U S.

Speaker: you pick argon is it because it's like one of the first ones on the alphabetical list or is it you know i mean what's in arkansas that's that appealing i mean the people are really kind in north and south dakota they're really kind up in minnesota too but they're also basically

Speaker: The girls are the most traditional when it comes to white. Okay, okay, okay. Yeah, but they're also still down close to Alabama and whatnot, so they're probably not. Yeah, these are moms, they're dads, they're dads, they're brothers. Yeah, probably, I'm assuming they're on color flute. He's from Africa. Wait, wait, wait, are you assuming he's

Speaker: He's he's black. Well, the last time I assumed somebody wasn't black, I found out, holy shit, gold box, black people in Africa, dude. I'm just saying, you know, that's the road. Thank you very much. I couldn't think of her name.

Speaker: Anywho, let me dig myself out of this whole, uh, yeah, Jeff lost the football, Jeff lost the fantasy football this week because he wears a lot of fucked up shit on this show. I look like the, I'm the champ. Look at me. I'm the champion now.

Speaker: I thought you were going to call yourself a Jeff. Look at me. I'm a Jeff. Wow. Would you bring it back around, Jeff? Appreciate that. Holy redeem yourself. I am now the Jeff. That's by Captain Phillips for us. I pronounce it wrong on purpose. Just so you know. I think it's like Charlize Theron or something like that. I always call it Theron. Isn't it Theron?

Speaker: I don't know. Maybe am I intent to do it? I've heard it pronounced multiple ways, but I've also heard Zendaya's name. I was a day or whatever. I've heard it's a giant like six foot nine woman. That's all I know. Woman is a beast. I don't think she's that tall.

Speaker: No one's really that tall to you, you fucking ogre. Oh. You're an accusation, by the way. Yeah. While Chris takes his foot out of his mouth. So, fantasy football. I don't take my foot out of my mouth. I'm just making assumptions. The last time I made an assumption, I'm two for two. I got to keep the streak alive. Yeah, I guessed either.

Speaker: Are you going to call him a Nazi? Did you send me that damn video that where the guy got the kid the mine comp book for how funny is that? That is the funniest fucking thing about fucking idiot. So to describe this video, it's like this kid's birthday and he opens up his present from his grandfather.

Speaker: Everybody in the video speaks German. Let's be honest. They're, they're obviously in Germany. It opens his presence. And it's the Minecraft book. Hitler's book. The dead take him away from the kids. And his dad, he's like, it's Minecraft. It's not my talk. Benji, I have never seen an episode of Gold Rush. I've seen a

Speaker: few episodes. Not like some things but I've never seen a pull up. I'm assuming it's like old mining or pain handling or something along those lines. However, did you hear what was found in I can't I want to say Nigeria. I can't remember where but the largest gold nugget

Speaker: ever has been found. It is literally. Well, I get my my sign up and this is not a joke. I'm not I'm not setting you up for a joke. Yeah, I'm waiting for it is literally literally. It's got to be the size of 44 inch tire. I don't look the video that I saw of it is these four kids

Speaker: Their maybe cash and Kevin's age and their older brother they found this they might not get to keep it That's a reason why that might that's not gonna keep it is for the simple fact. They're not legitimate minors They are minors but it the video you see them pulling it out of the ground and The one kid I would easily say he's five five

Speaker: It's up to his waist. That's stupid that they don't get to keep it, but, um, I just recently started watching, quote unquote reality television. And I started doing that with bar rescue. And now Nikki's got me hooked on the challenge. And now we're talking about watching Hell's Kitchen or something like that. Basically the Gordon, the Gordon Ramsey version of bar rescue.

Speaker: Well, that, no, that's the Gordon Hell's Kitchen is like a cook off. I don't think I've ever even heard of that new movie. What's it called? Sisu? Sisu? Sisu? Sisu. Why? I just saw something about that. Hold on. I got to look it up. Google help me out. I have no idea.

Speaker: Uh, I haven't seen John Wick for you yet, let alone weren't ready to talk about John Wick five. Um, I did want to touch on this real quick before Jeff goes onto a fucking movie. It's basically the, the Ukrainian version of John Wick. It's about a guy that finds gold and he has to cross the border to actually cash it. Yeah. That's literally what goes just said. Yeah. But, uh, literally what goes. He's basically a badass. He's basically a bad.

Speaker: We've been trying to get to this for a minute now I'll go ahead and cover this real quick mainly because golf walk was talking shit in the fantasy football Chat that's on the app

Speaker: and said that he was going to give me a good old fashioned ass whooping to which I said after Monday's night game, Monday, Monday night's game. Well, that didn't age really well or too well. Did it golf? Because I still stay at the top of the mountain. Four and oh, four and oh, I'm looking forward to. It's early in the season, sir. I'm expecting to come back for myself. And once again,

Speaker: If I win this whole fucking thing, not if you keep going and wrote one there, go ahead and finish that sentence. Go ahead. I dare you. Oh, no, I wasn't making, I made one Star Wars reference. I was just going to say, how did you keep going and wrote one there?

Speaker: And then I see the chat. Whoa, Jeff's just doing all kinds of stuff or spunky's doing all kinds of shit. And I looked at it and I went this motherfucker. And then I watched this course that were out. I had like three guys that were out. I was trying to get my numbers up. Yes, it failed. But what are you going to do? It's one fucking game.

Speaker: Look man, not one ring to rule one kingdom. We're not, we're not searching for the, for the soul survivor, natural born wizard. Come out and play.

Speaker: And now and now you get to take another L to me again this week. I don't know. We're 5050 this week. Yeah, that's just that's just I don't even know how I ended up with two squads. That's why I'm surprised it's three and one because I gotta be honest with you. I haven't done much with it up until today.

Speaker: because you're playing me. Yeah, no, because I have. Yeah, I had to buy week as well. I would like to see them reboot Warriors PS2 game. That was actually a fun game. At some point in your life, yeah, I am waiting on Loki. Because yes, second season is really amazing.

Speaker: Yeah. Loki. Yeah. Season two of Loki is going to be awesome. I've been watching the previews. I'm excited for it. Ah, yes. Plumber more than. Yeah. Today. Let's be honest. Come out and play. That game was super but it was so fucking lame. It was fun. It was like Willy's Wonderland.

Speaker: Okay, the Willy's Wonderland of video games, I get it. Yes, yes, yes. Willy's Wonderland. It's, it's, it's, it is a cinematic. Sorry, I'm sorry. Willy's Wonderland is cinematic gold. I don't care what you say. If anybody doesn't like that movie, fuck them, because that movie's genius. Welcome to Derry, as of 2023. Yeah, it's a, it's a sequel, yes.

Speaker: Have you seen the movie that is on Prime or whatever that is called the, what is the hotel in John Wick? The Continental. Oh, the Continental. Yeah. It actually, it's actually a series. It's a mini series. I have not watched it yet. I thought the rule though in the Continental was no fighting and killing. Inside the Continental, yes. But you see the premise. They locked down the Continental and everybody's killing each other in it.

Speaker: and John Wick for ya no no in this in this in the prime really well well whatever it is it be so the concept for the continental tv series the miniseries is it's prior to the john wick era so well the john wick movie series so it might be this might be the reason why they have the

Speaker: Oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The it television show on Max. Yeah. Yeah. It's called Welcome to Dairy. It's going to be it's it's a weird, oddly interesting spinoff. I'm sure you're watching. However, I didn't like it. I didn't like the original. I didn't like the remake. And I've never we've had this discussion. Not a big fan of Stephen King movies and the ones that I like. Nobody else likes. So, however, I am excited for the new pet cemetery that's coming out.

Speaker: on Peacock, and then next year on Peacock, they have Camp Crystal Lake. I think it's a TV series or whatnot, and I'm excited for that. I did start to watch. So because of the whole Hollywood strike thing, I think Netflix, HBO, and those companies are kind of like, hey, let me borrow a couple of movies.

Speaker: Uh, because twisted metal is now an HBO here. So I did see the first episode. I'm waiting for the second because it's on HBO here, even though it's a peacock thing. So, and then here's the funny thing. Uh, through blood is actually going to be on Netflix here. It's already on Netflix. It's already on Netflix here. They just released it. Yeah. Well, then they might've already released it here.

Speaker: So, so I think what they're like, Hey, can we borrow a couple of shows because, uh, we're, we're running dry because Hollywood shut down or what it was. I thought they came to terms with their thing and they're back to work. They did. They did. But that doesn't mean they're going to really, you know, I don't care. I'm still watching fucking bar. I'm only on like season six or 16. I'm good. Yeah.

Speaker: I mean, they all seem kinda pleasant and good. Yeah. I don't know why. Yeah, it is what it is. But yeah, I actually enjoyed Twisted Metal the first episode. I thought it was really good. I was... I love Stephanie Batista. I think she's amazing. The... The... The Mute Chick. Oh yeah. Sure. Yeah. The Mute Chick.

Speaker: She's actually on the TV show Brooklyn 99 where she was Her character on there is like one of the most badass tips you've ever met. I've only seen a few episodes of Brooklyn 99 So tips nice goes my son has literally has Oh Check this out Jeffrey

Speaker: So, um, I talked about it. So I just want to kind of talk about it real brief because you're here. Oh, you know, last weekend we went and seen Jelly Roll. Yeah, I was. Jelly Roll was awesome. Um, the, the Elking and, and, uh, struggle Jennings, they were good. I just didn't know any of their songs. I know. So, um,

Speaker: still not the biggest fan, but you know, but they still put on a pretty good show. But Jelly Roll was awesome. And I told Nicki, I said, I'm definitely more of a fan leaving the concert than I was going into the concert. Right. Right. I mean, I want nothing. Bronco, Jeff. Yeah, fuck, Jeff. Yeah, whatever. Bye. Little shit. You're weird.

Speaker: Oh, my my bad ghost. Fuck you, you alcoholic piece of shit. It's Wednesday. Why are you so goddamn tipsy? You can't even see your keyboard. You fucking moron. God, fuck. You fucking suck, ghost. Call me Wednesday. Fuck you, Shorzy. Fuck you, Shorzy.

Speaker: fuck you anyways while we were up there it was up by there's a open kind of hoga falls little suburb of uh okay and uh we

Speaker: And the little town we were staying at, I was like, why do I fucking know this town? Like, it was like, it was Bath, Ohio. And I'm like, why do I fucking know Bath, Ohio? Like, it was driving me crazy from the time up there. Why does this sound familiar? So I Googled it and I was like, oh yeah, this is where LeBron James is from. Oh, that's funny. And I was like, but that's not it. There's something else that's driving me. Something happened up here. So continue exploring.

Speaker: Right. I'm doing my little clickety -clack and he's asking Google questions. And then you know how when you, when you, when you put into the search bar and then you're scrolling through and then about midway through, there'll be like other questions asked. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And one of the, one of the other questions asked was what serial killer is from Bath, Ohio. And I went, there it is. That's why I know Bath, Ohio.

Speaker: I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't

Speaker: So, and his first murder was committed in his childhood home. And this first victim was buried in his backyard and it resolved, and it remained an unsolved mystery until 1991 when he was arrested and he admitted to it. And then the cops went and found the body. We wonder what happened to this guy 20 some odd years ago. Everybody seen Bob?

Speaker: I haven't put it on like years. What the fuck? Well, it was when Dahmer was 18. I think it was in like. Right. Well, if you watch that Dahmer documentary docu -series, they actually show it. Yeah. Well, he was the guy in his dad's house. Yeah. Well, yeah. So, you know, basically it was a guy who was also 18. Dahmer was 18. He asked for a ride to Akron, which was right down the road. And well, he never made it. He didn't make it past Jeffrey Dahmer's house.

Speaker: So of course me and Nicki being me and Nicki were like, I wonder where this house is at. Well, got the address. Let's Google it. Google, Google, Google. We'll find out the house is only less than five minutes away from the hotel we were staying at. So Saturday night we were at the bar after the concert and we were talking about it and somebody overheard us talking about it and they're like, yeah, nobody actually lives there. And I was like, hell yeah.

Speaker: and nobody lives there, I can actually pull in the driveway and, you know, do what white people do in this situation. We like to explore, investigate. So unfortunately, somebody is living there and there are multiple signs at the end of the driveway. No trespassing, do not enter, go the fuck away. You know, all this other shit. Huge red blinds, by the way. So we just drove by real slow.

Speaker: repeat almost at a stop. Once again, the people that actually live in the house, there's another fucking asshole. Yeah. So I think you can get a picture of the house again. Well, and then no idea why having the title of detective seems to not really trust me. And Canada's the worst offenders of the whole police not knowing how to do their job. We've had that conversation on here. Um,

Speaker: We, we talked about the pigment murders and before he started murdering 30 some odd prostitutes, he tried to get a car and got pulled over. He tried to murder one woman. He stabbed her. She stabbed him back. She got away from me, went to the hospital. Some, some random people driving by, saw her come out, running out onto the road. They took, they saved her. Basically she's a handcuffs on, she's been stabbed.

Speaker: multiple times, they take her to the hospital. The hospital, you know, saves her life at the end of the day. The cops come and then they tell her because she's a prostitute, she's not a credible witness. So they're not going to go look into the situation. This happened not once, not twice, not three times, not four times, but five different occasions. The Canadian police told five different would be victims and or witnesses that they were not credible.

Speaker: Witnesses so they would not look into it and a man killed like 30 some women and had him had them buried all over his property He gutted him and everything got it. I got pulled over by the cops That was a different guy Yeah, yeah, we go and see the house and she takes a picture of it and then

Speaker: Uh, you know, upon further research, I find out that that my friend John, uh, Jeffrey Dahmer movie with Austin Ross in it, they actually filmed in the actual house. But here's a little, wrap it up and put a little bow on it. The house is for sale. How much? Take a guess. I'll be conservative. How my bedroom?

Speaker: It's like two bedroom, right? Two bedroom, one bath. Yeah, I think there's three or four bedrooms, two baths. Okay, but because it is a murder house, let's be honest, that's going to drop the value. So let's say a hundred grand. First and foremost, Bath, Ohio is a very nice neighborhood. Second of all, this is a very nice neighborhood. I can't speak a fucking murder house.

Speaker: Yeah, but this is a very nice fucking house on a very nice little piece of property. Uh, $329 ,000. And Nikki said, if we had that, and she didn't even get to finish her sentence. I said, yeah. She said, if we, she said, if we had, yep. Yup. Yup. So fucking literally I'd buy it right to hell now.

Speaker: Yeah, the criminal justice system is something else, especially, I don't know how it is in your country, but in America, it's something else. But in our history with serial killers and stuff like that, in the 70s and 80s, man, they were running around. And even now today, they're still active serial killers, obviously.

Speaker: There was a lot of serial killers that they had dead to rights, but for whatever reason, they let them go. Uh, you know, um, hell I, I, I believe, uh, Ed Kemper, I might be wrong. Um, response time 49 hours. If you can, if you, if you.

Speaker: That is ridiculous man, but um Ed Kemper Kemper he was I think it was a co -ed killer or something like that He literally turned himself in and the cops didn't believe him because they knew him so well And they thought he was such a nice guy because he hung out at the local cop bar

Speaker: because he wanted to be a cop. And the guy was a fucking genius at the end of the day, but I don't think he could become a cop because of his physical issues. But the dude was like six, nine, six, 10, 300 pounds. He was an absolute monster. Who are we talking about? Ed Kemper. Oh, OK. Sorry. He literally turned himself in in the council like unplugged from the from the wall and it shut off. Well, I had to plug it in and then start it back up. Nice. But

Speaker: John Wayne Gacy was a goddamn pillar of the community. He was a guy, he was, he was in politics. He was a business owner. Guy dressed up as a clown. The, the, the BTK. He was a pastor at his church. His crimes went unsolved for years. I wish I had those words.

Speaker: Uh, yeah. If you, if you, if I called and said that there was somebody who's breaking into my house, the cops would probably be here maybe 10 minutes at the most. But I mean, that's 10 minutes too slow for the guy who just broke into my house. Because at that point, y 'all going to need, uh, my door says, if you come in here without warning, you won't make it out.

Speaker: Depending upon my mood that night, I'm either going to have a lot of fun with you, or I'm just going to drop 17 of my, my friends into your body very fast. Oh, once again, I'm going to get a lot less time for rape charges. I will murder charge. So come on in boys. Well, Ohio is a stand your ground state now. This is true. And you enter my property and I felt like my life or my kids or Nikki's life or

Speaker: were in danger. So I had to do everything I could to stop that danger. And I get off. There was a, I said, this is recently like, uh, that doesn't mean that you can put a sign on your door that says burglar's welcome. You have to move to Canada to do that and able to get burglar. If you want to be the ultimate serial killer, just put a silent sign on your door. It says burglar's welcome. The Canadian police will never catch on. Well, okay. So, so good.

Speaker: It all depends on where you live. Chris is more in town where Chris and I grew up. My closest neighbor was a mile down the road. Yeah. Our neighbors were the same way. And it took like, and we didn't have a local PD. I think you guys had one, didn't you? Yeah, we had a local PD. We had, we had, we had the sheriff's department. It was like the dukes of hazards. There was three fucking cops. Yeah. We had to wait for the sheriff's department and they were at any given time, anywhere from a half hour to 45 minutes away.

Speaker: Oh, a hundred percent. Depending upon where the closest deputy was. Right. And like even, even on a good day in a car, going from my parents' house, just to get into town to get to the sheriff's department. It's still 10, 15 minute drive. It was like a half hour drive from where I grew up to, to the sheriff's department.

Speaker: Did you have cool wee -woo -wee -woos when you were a security officer? Did you carry a flashlight? What you see on TV with your local sheriffs and stuff like that isn't necessarily true to real life. I'm sure that happens in some areas, especially rural areas. In my hometown.

Speaker: We're fucking cool. I literally drag raced the sheriff down Main Street. Yeah. I mean, I was dating his daughter at the time and she was in the car with me. So, you know, we got away with it, except for the fact the mayor saw us and dragged us both in her fucking office. But other than that. Hey, four guns are nice. Wasn't that a movie with Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg, four guns or something like that? Two guns. I think it's called two guns.

Speaker: Yeah, well, close enough. Excellent. No, the wee -woos are the fucking the lights, the lights. Your guns are your pew -pews, pew -pew, pew -pew, pew -pew. Yeah, the little wigwams on top, wee -woo, wee -woo. Unless you got a shotgun and then it goes pew, pew, pew. This is my boom stick.

Speaker: And if you get that reference, you're pretty cool. Yep. I love that. See, this is my boobs. I love it. Ash was the siren. That's weak sauce. That's right. That's right. Years ago, I used to work security and part of my uniform, I wore my white cowboy hat in the front half of the front half of the apartment. It was a big apartment complex. This place was fucking huge.

Speaker: I always wear my white cowboy hat and my partner was a little Puerto Rican kid and I had a big truck at the time. And we weren't technically supposed to drive the vehicle, but literally from the front of the apartment complex to the back was a mile and a half.

Speaker: And that doesn't even factor in the, that was a straight line. Like that doesn't factor in the width of this place. Back, back in the day, gas was less like 99. We didn't care. We didn't drive around the whole time, but he would drive my truck and I would drive.

Speaker: I would ride in the bed and stand up. I would ride in the bed like fucking Woody Harrelson and the cowboy way. I fucking knew it. Well, we would come to the front of the apartment.

Speaker: Waving around like this. We're doing three. Calm down. Yeah. No, we, we called the front half, the front half of the apartment complex. We called it little Mexico. So when we would drive through, they would all go, they would call me the federal. And I never understood. Yeah. And they're like the cops back home. They drive around the back of trucks with white cowboy hats. Okay. So the cops in, in Mexico.

Speaker: They literally drive F -150s, Dodge 1500s, and Chevy Silverados. All four doors. And they usually have four people inside the truck and two guys in the bed at all times. Looks like Prada is designing the new spacesuits. I did see those. They're supposedly

Speaker: So these new spaces, they actually, this came out like a week or two ago. And they haven't been seen since, which means they've only made one, but it's supposed to give more mobility. And they actually look kind of cool, but I'm not going to rock it while I'm walking down the street. I'm more upset. Who is who people? Who the hell are you doing? And unless we forget Benji, Versace,

Speaker: You know what uniforms he designed. Oh, she said she went to school with Charlie DeMella But I don't know what else she's talking about because that's from like the 70s or 80s I don't know who any of those people are. I don't think they're anybody important Just some I'm at least I got it I'm going to school with Darren Watkins. I Went to school with okay. I don't know what's oh

Speaker: Nevermind. It's a TikTok video where people are, uh, I went to school with I show speed, Darren Watkins, somebody else posted a picture. I went to school with Charlie Demello. Well, then the last one, I had to look at the names down in the bottom corner. Last person, Jeffrey Dahmer. What's going on? No party. Yeah. This is live. This is a, this is live fuckery and shenanigans. Um,

Speaker: So he was asking me like, what is this? I don't know. It's a fucking yearbook photo. It's a picture of a page out of a yearbook. Like what's going on? I don't know. Hundreds of them printed every year. You have a couple of yearbooks, but I don't. Yeah, I'm more pissed off at my tax dollars going to the fucking welfare than I am about fucking spaceshoots. Well, no, but NASA, NASA is not federally funded. Well, it's federally funded, but it's a private company.

Speaker: I don't know who I show speed is. The only reason I know who Charlie D 'Amelio is or Demela is because I met her a couple of years back. I couldn't pick her out of a lineup. I met her and her sister and I can get in there like, Oh my God, these, this is Charlie. And I don't know what her sister's name is. Dixie or something, something stupid like that.

Speaker: And I was like, Oh, okay, cool. Well, I guess you guys are supposed to be going in there. I was working security. I was like, I guess you guys are supposed to be going back here. Cause I was working the stage and by the building where all the acts and the musicians and everything and everybody was like that VIP area where they were all at. And I was like, Oh yeah. They told me you guys are supposed to go back there. Cool. They're like, you know what? I get you. I'm like, I have no idea who you are. No, I don't want to take your picture.

Speaker: or have my picture taken. They have their entourage of friends and I'm like, and then it wasn't until I went in, somebody was like, did you know who that was? No, I'm fucking 40 years old. Why would I know who I don't care? 40 years old. You, you're about to be 42. I'm about to be 22. I'm 22. Well, that sounds like an amazing read.

Speaker: snot. Do you like gross things? Not really not. Not when it comes to mucus, slime and pus. No, I do not. Oh, I kind of do. No, shut up Jeff. I'm going to read up on it. I will throw up. Forever 21, bro. I get it. Chances are I have a bacterial infection.

Speaker: Well, I mean chances are we can take you out to a random field and put you down. I asked you to do that two days ago. That's what they do to old Cougars, don't they? I'll wound the Cougar, man. They're no good after that. You keep saying she's dying. I'm like, you're not allowed to die. If you,

Speaker: Things like that should not come out of the human body. I should not be shooting green marbles out of my nose. I watched three alien babies come out of a human body. Not much else is surprising. And you've had two aliens come out of your body, because that's what babies look like. I understand that, but not rockets shouldn't be coming out my nose. And you did it the normal way, didn't you? Yeah.

Speaker: I wonder which is worst. Vaginal birth or C -section birth? I think it's C -section. Well, Tonya had both. That's probably why you don't have a lady. At least you called her a lady. Agreed. It's your no party. Stop sniffing soap bubbles. Okay, to witness.

Speaker: I think a C -section would be scary as fuck because they literally have to cut and then move stuff around and then. No, dude. They literally take the because all three of my kids were C -sections. They take the knife and it's there. There is no. There's no wrong. There's no gentle way that they do it. They literally just shoot like a samurai sword, slice it open, start pulling organs out and setting them on a tray.

Speaker: The first time I, the first time it didn't quite register because of the, it was an emergency C -section and everything was rushed and there was a lot of issues medically for both Austin and her mom. She's old. The second time, she was only 21. The human body becomes icky, kind of icky with

Speaker: As we age and I said, and she's old, you're as old as her. Shut up. I'm the only, I'm the youngest one here. I'll be 22 in six days. I'll be 22 again. I'm looking forward to 21 has been good to me. This has been a good year.

Speaker: Looking forward to 22. He's delusional. Oh, he's no interesting reason why we expel weird shit. Hey, you know what? Hey, there is nothing worse than, than when you get that, that stock bubble or you get that, you know, Nick when you blow your nose or something. Oh,

Speaker: just I can't I can't do I can't do you can't do you can't do puss and shit I can't yeah the pimple the pimple popper you literally watch fucking every horror movie on the planet yeah that's cool but you can't watch a pimple popper can't watch pimple popper I don't like five minutes on my fucking tiktok I didn't know and that's fine

Speaker: I'm sure I watched gross shit that you wouldn't last five minutes on my TikTok. Well, no, my TikTok is really fucking boring actually. My TikTok is, my TikTok is like sport. Yeah. You wouldn't last five minutes on my TikTok page. It's like sports and gaming. I'm like, are they talking sports again or is that a video game? It's like sports gaming and music. Speaking of sports.

Speaker: On Disney, sir. This Sunday or last Sunday, the. I can't remember who was fucking playing. But they played in Andy's room. Yeah, that was that was the London game. It was Jacksonville and Atlanta. And I was actually going to watch it. I was going to watch the fucking game. But the way they did it. They.

Speaker: I assumed it was going to be like they were going to do it like Madden style, where, you know, you follow. They didn't. They had the game on the background and then the two commentators, cartoon commentators in the front and you couldn't see the play. So I literally watched five minutes of it and I was like, fuck it, I'm out. Way to fucking ruin football there.

Speaker: What's going on with you? I think most people saw themselves. Where are you? I'm in San Diego. What the fuck are you talking about? Guess where I am? You better be in London. Is she? She better be. Otherwise, I don't want to talk to her. Why was she going to London again? I forgot. Don't worry about it. Never you might. Oh, there you go. Fuck it.

Speaker: Oh, she's fine. Trust me. She you're good. She's heard a lot worse on this show. She was here when we were talking about our love for Ryan Reynolds. Yes. No, yeah. Nice. Cheers. I was just going to add. Yeah, and I'm not. Yeah.

Speaker: Guys. Okay. Remind me why she went to London again. Very good friend of hers is celebrating a birthday, I believe. And he's got a gig at a major, major, major. Oh, okay. Yeah. I don't know what they call it over there because where she, she's originally promised just boring as shit. We need to save this Jeffrey.

Speaker: one hour, eight minutes and twenty - one hour, eight minutes and twenty - one hour, eight minutes and twenty - one hour, eight minutes and twenty - one hour, eight minutes and twenty - one hour eight minutes and twenty - one hour eight minutes and twenty - one hour eight minutes and twenty - one hour eight minutes and twenty - one hour eight minutes and twenty - one hour eight minutes and twenty - one hour eight minutes and twenty - one hour eight minutes and twenty - one hour eight minutes and twenty - one hour eight minutes and twenty - one hour eight minutes and twenty - one hour eight minutes and twenty - one hour eight minutes and twenty - one hour eight minutes and twenty - one hour eight minutes and twenty - one hour eight minutes and twenty - one hour eight minutes and twenty - one hour eight minutes and twenty - one hour eight minutes and twenty - one hour eight minutes and twenty - one hour eight minutes and twenty - one hour eight minutes and twenty - one hour eight minutes and twenty - one hour eight minutes and twenty - one hour eight minutes and twenty - one hour eight minutes and twenty - one hour

Speaker: golf to get your ghost. Sorry to give you a little background here. Leggy and Chris have never you'll never live it down and uh like one episode they literally had a on -air argument one of the greatest nights ever and uh so for her to say he's right uh that's like we're friends now and I just forget that Jeff's right oh wait we're friends now and it pisses a lot of people off

Speaker: No, we were we were talking and I told Jeff about this Friday night we were talking about Friday night because she was debating this trip and And I kind of came into the middle of it and I was like you totally have to go one way or another I mean you're gonna regret it if you don't this is a huge freaking thing. This is a huge deal

Speaker: And then before I left to start the show, she told me that I had that I actually helped her and I was like, Oh, I need that one. There's one screen record, all of this stuff that happens in here. I should go and ask those people. There's a reason why if I'm using my phone on a video call, I screen record it. Yeah.

Speaker: and now I just got the I was right but I'm glad you went. I'm glad you made the trip and I hopefully you're it sounds like you're having a blast. So, someone might have had a tantrum. It was a little stressed Friday afternoon or well, Friday afternoon might not. It's a little bit. Nice.

Speaker: And I just kind of stumbled into it. I just kind of jumped in and put my phone down because I was doing other things. And I was like, no, what is she talking about? When I moved to Europe, I'm going to have to go visit her. I'm sure that's exactly what she wants. Yeah.

Speaker: I totally get it. Like I said, I think we've all been in that in that in that situation, you know, no matter what the occasion is or what it is, you want to do something, but then you got to weigh the odds or weigh, you know, pros and cons and this and that. And at the end of the day, the ultimate deciding factor is. Do you really want to go and if I don't go, what am I going to feel like?

Speaker: Well, yeah, I mean, obviously, not that big, you know, not not the same situation, but I use the example. When I was debating about going to see Blacktop Mojo. Right. And you and Tony are both like, if you don't fucking go, dude. And even up to the point where I was getting in my car, I was still talking to you. Right. Well, I don't know, like an hour drive.

Speaker: Yeah. And I was like, dude, it's, it's, it's literally sports. So you got to go support. Yeah. But it's just one of those weird things. That's all that matters. You're having a good time. Hopefully you can not worry about anything while you're there, except for hanging out with good people and good friends and getting, uh, I'm going to start using that Jeff. I'm feeling a little knackered tonight. I'm drunk.

Speaker: You gotta catch up with the link. You're moving out there. I'm in the the great the great state of North Florida. He's in the shirt pocket of of the US. Oh, from what I've been told around here, I'm in OH.

Speaker: I'm sure one of my neighbors outside just yelled, I owe because I said, oh, probably, probably. It would not surprise me. That's kind of like the, like, if you walk through Texas, you would like to start, right? No, I'll just start singing. Stop it. Yeah. I actually asked my, my buddy from Texas at the end of the day. He's like, no, it won't happen. I was like, how disappointing.

Speaker: Yeah, we're actually we're actually in talks. We're actually in works up here of changing our name to North Florida. You know, like there's North and South Dakota and North and South Carolina. Now we're going to have North and South Florida. What? Oh, my God, I got to be honest with you, I couldn't remember when you were leaving. I thought you were. It was I thought it was this week and I forgot it was in the middle of the week.

Speaker: Otherwise I would have dropped a line, but. I wouldn't, I don't even call Chris. How long do we, since we started in 25 years, I'm really reconsidering this friendship. In all honesty.

Speaker: Unless before we did the show or since we started so how often do we talk offline? Yeah off and on but you know depends on the week It depends on the week, but weeks more than lately, especially especially with my work schedule what it is And now that you're you're on feel And just say in fiance on fiance on fiance

Speaker: No, it's super busy. I mean, like, I got this weekend off and then I think next weekend we're going to Jason Aldean and then two weeks after that, I think we're going to PA. Do you mean some people? Some that we associate with? Better watch out. We better be careful. Really? So not even drop the line. Wow. Somebody's flipping.

Speaker: You know, it's got poker to play. And being and literally. Small, blind, big, blind poker time. And I appreciate ghost. He's tried. I just give up with Jeff talks. I got to be honest with you. Ghost would would would just throws out random ass made up words on Fiat as in engaged. It really does sound super posh, super fucking bougie.

Speaker: I was fine. I was feeling boozy there, so fuck you both. Oh, say hello to Sir Fusch -Walt. And as they say, fuck you, Shorty. Fuck you, Jeff. Fuck you, ET.

Speaker: speaking of sir. I had to get his two cents in there. Yeah, it's right. It's her. Pussy. Shut up. Pussy. Shut up. Pussy. You're not fancy. I'm not in your closet. I'm not in your cage. It shuts the **** up or it's a beer can again.

Speaker: He gets back in the cage, but after it gets me another beer. Thanks, Ghost. That's awesome, man. I do appreciate it. That is a gold star. Give him a gold star. Yeah. Always glad about it. But you hang in there, man. I got to give him a second one, just for the second. Even though... Yeah, I know. Go ahead.

Speaker: Always that I found it, even though some references go over my head. But he hangs in there. How old are you, Ghost, if you don't mind me asking? Enfield, outfield. He's 32. You're not that. Left side, strong side. Left side, strong side.

Speaker: Nice. Nice. Oh shit. We are late for break. Uh, when we come back for break, uh, I got two things, three things, maybe two things. Um, first thing I gotta tell you guys a little something. Second thing before we get a little, uh, acting, acting up a little bit, gotta pull the break and bring it down a little, just a little bit, just a little bit.

Speaker: a little bit more of a serious note, something I was thinking about. And, uh, and I'd been thinking about in prayer conversation last week, um, it was kinda, that's how you got her to walk home.

Speaker: because when she's there with Izzy, she has to leave when Izzy leaves. And when she's there with Hailey, she has to leave when Hailey leaves. And they get to leave early because they're all in school. She's in school. So it's the same for her. But now she can't leave until they're closed. Who's working? Who's the manager up there tonight? Probably Tonya would be my guess. Do you have her number or anything? I do.

Speaker: I would answer if Austin's done and if she's done, tell her that you're coming to get her. She's not just hanging out. She don't get that. No, like I thought with her just because they worked something out with Tonya that they could leave at nine o 'clock. It doesn't mean you get that same privilege because you haven't been here for two months. She's like, no, well, they told me because they're in school too. So I should be able to go too. And now all of a sudden, no, she has to stay so far.

Speaker: You know, see who the manager is there and message her and ask her. Literally. She said Austin's done or she's good to go. Tell him to say, Hey, I'm coming to get you now. You're not staying up there to hang out with your fucking friends. First and foremost, they have a job to do. I don't want to leave Brittany by herself with a 13 top, but I can leave if you want me to. Yeah.

Speaker: She's a hostess. She has no yet. She'll be fine. What are you going to do? Get bread and fucking water? Literally early fucking kids. Fucking kids, this one's going to be living with me until I fucking die. No, she fucking won't. Oh, you drunk date.

Speaker: I have something for the second hour as well. I understand you. I understand you. I understand you got something but I want you to hold your britches there Pedro McGillicuddy. I'm just saying all right. I've been holding me longer you you oh my god.

Speaker: Hold on. I have a little clip for everybody. I say you're pissing too darn loud, boy. It's late at night and you're pissing right in the center of the bowl like you're frying chicken in there. You got a piss on the side, boy. Make it a stealth mission. You're causing a whole ruckus pissing like that, boy. Ghost, it would not surprise me if we were still on. It would be

Speaker: It would not be out of the norm for us to still be on when you got back. But no, you go to work, get some work done and make some money, man. There's a ghost. He said he had to go. He's got to go work for four hours and he'll be back. But he'll doubt we'll still be on. I doubt we'll be on in four hours. And what kind of job do you have where you can get tipsy and barely be able to skiboard and go to work? Yeah. Now my interest is people.

Speaker: Cause how do I apply? Oh, wait, where do I start? Yeah. Do you work at the penis museum? I'm just, uh, tell me, I forgot to tell you. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Well, of course. Yeah. Go ahead and play us a song there, sir.

Speaker: Nice well, I have a good night or good. I don't know what time it is there actually to be honest with you Let's not play the time zone game, right? Ouch 3 a .m. Fuck that Why are you still awake now? I don't know understand why it did. Oh, yeah, he's working He's working the night shift

Speaker: I worked third shift for like three months and I went to work every night hammered too. So, yeah, I mean, I was going to be technically working third shift, you know, it'll be, you know, even though you're wearing a safe, have a good, have a good night at work, brother. Appreciate you hanging out, man. Yeah. Don't forget your driving beer. Just saying.

Speaker: Whaaaattttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

Speaker: but no, we do got to take a break. When we come back, I do got something a little bit more serious that I want to dive into. Like I said, an idea that I've been thinking about and in all honesty, we'll do it like once a week, but I want to try to get in early in the show before we start acting too crazy. But it was an idea. I was kind of around. And then last week for a conversation, um, that, that, that organically came up.

Speaker: And it was like, there's kind of the validation I needed to play the song before you start finding out what's going on. Well, before, before I play the song. Yeah. Oh, let's, uh, let's shout out a little liquid IV shower. Summer has made its return back in Ohio.

Speaker: It's been like nine million degrees this last week. And I was kind of falling in the habit of properly hydrating and having my liquid IV every day and fucking felt the difference because as we all know, proper functional hydration is essential and liquid IV is the number one powdered hydration brand in America.

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Speaker: Let's do this just because it was first thing it popped up. Yeah. Dan Vax with his cover of Survivor Song, Burning Heart. We'll be back here in just a few minutes, ladies and gentlemen. Don't get away.

Speaker: To us allied, right for nations It's a primitive clash, burning years of frustrations Bravely we hope it gets undone There is hope unjustly, it seems our freedom's up against the ground

Speaker: Does the ground understand? Is it east, west, or west? On man against land? Can any nation stand? And how? In the third in half? Just about to cross? There's a quest for exercise?

Speaker: Though his heart is a star, his spirit dies My heart deep in our soul, a cryin' in birth Knows it's you against you, it's the pair and that's a try to turn He's a man of the quills, in the heat of attack It's the passion that kills, the fiction is yours

Speaker: In the dark it's night, bright sea like a spider

Speaker: There's a quest for answers and a point to the stars In the darkness night, black sea like a spider In the purging heart, you must take care of the power In the purging heart, just about to hurt There's a quest for answers and a point to the stars

Speaker: Hey, my friends, I'm glad to see you today. The last time I recorded this song, which is linked in the description, by the way, I was going through the worst period of depression in my life. And it was the worst, but it was also the last. This song inspires me today as much as inspired me back then. Back on those days, YouTube was only a hobby to me.

Speaker: Today it's the target of my biggest ambition. My current biggest dream, I actually shouldn't say dream, my current biggest goal because a goal is a dream with a plan and that goal is to get this channel to 1 million subscribers. The reason I'm

Speaker: have kids, they said. It'll be fun they said. Someone lied to you, huh? Anywho, that was Dan Baske. You guys got to hear him talk a little bit. Go check his YouTube channel out. Go show him some love. He does a ton of amazing covers of some kick -ass freaking songs.

Speaker: You guys can check them out. Welcome back to nonsensical nonsense. That's Jeff. Hopefully you guys are enjoying the show so far. If you do like the show and you do like hanging out with us, you can check us out on all them social medias, Facebook, Instagram.

Speaker: X and Tiktok. You can hang out live with us Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday, 7 PM ish on YouTube and Facebook and just for our lurkers. So you guys have something to talk about. You can watch us on Twitch.

Speaker: We can't join us live. You can always listen to every episode, anytime, anyplace, Zincaster, Spotify, and everywhere you listen to the podcast. Oh, and nonsensical nonsense podcast, or simply go to bio .link slash nonsensical nonsense. Going to get all the social media links and links to our sponsors like W and liquid IV. And if you're a podcast or a fellow podcaster, you can check out Zincaster.

Speaker: Get all your podcasting needs in one spot right there. But those links are there. And don't forget to use our promo code. Words are hard. Anywho, we are. Um, fucking, I just, well,

Speaker: I wish there was some way that I could like give her a hard dose of fucking reality and being an adult, my oldest daughter, because she thinks she's fucking smarter than everybody around her. And she doesn't understand that all she's doing is setting herself up for absolute freaking failure. Well, okay. Let me play devil's advocate. So did we, uh, yes and no. Well, we thought we knew everything.

Speaker: Well, I mean I thought I knew everything and I realized that I do know everything and now I'm 40 and I'm still one Yeah, I fucking know everything That's right. When do you hit? You You you you seem to forget I'm the greatest of all time I'm the one true goat I

Speaker: And you're the one true goat sucker. So my dick chef. Look, I'm good. I'm good, but I'm not in a whole ass another country. I'm good, but I'm not there. There are two things. I'm good. There are two things I cannot do.

Speaker: I'm not good enough to rebuild things that are no longer there. And I'm not good enough to, to impregnate you from like 10 ,000 miles away. Well, you know, so I had that Nikki sent me this, this outer substance. I was going to make it into a, into a necklace, but I was like, what'd she, what'd she do? Send you a container, just add water.

Speaker: I said, hello, come on. Say hello. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. She's just like, no, I mean, and I've said it a million times when, when I was, when I was 18, I was working two jobs. I had my own place. I had two cars and I'll,

Speaker: The only real slap in the face that I got was when I first turned out was paying bills because nobody ever taught me about paying bills or anything like that. Right. But I figured it out. Yeah, you had to. Well, that first time your cable gets shut off or your fucking landline got cut off because you didn't pay the bill, you realize, so maybe I should put money aside for that. Yeah. But.

Speaker: You know, I had myself set up to where I, when I graduated, I would be ready to rock and roll. I mean, but damn, just similar thing happened to myself when I moved. When I, you know, after getting out of the Navy, I still once again thought I knew everything, but I moved here and quickly learned there is nobody to bail me out. Fuck.

Speaker: I mean, I'm in the epitome of starting from zero because, and not having any else because as you mentioned, a couple of thousand miles away from mom, dad, it's not like they can knock on the door. Right. I had to figure it out. I think you were, I think you're a little bit farther than a few thousand miles away.

Speaker: Oh, I guarantee it. Shit. I can't even remember what the fuck I wanted to do when I came back. Oh, you said you had something kind of serious. That's you organically. Do you need some medicine? I do. Oh, Jeff, there ain't nothing strong enough on this planet for you, honey. This is a fucking disease that penicillin cannot cure.

Speaker: Um, I got new neighbors. I got new neighbors. Oh, here we go. I met them on good terms. They're younger guys, a couple of guys, younger, probably in their early twenties, mid twenties. How drunk did you get them? Yeah. No one can ever say I don't know you because I'm sure you're like, do you guys want to be here? I did not get them wrong.

Speaker: first and foremost. However, I did ask him the famous question. Does it smell like chloroform? And now my new neighbors are in cages in the closet. Put the lotion on it. Leave Puche alone. He's going to get me a beer.

Speaker: Stop asking him to put his glow finger in your butt or glue finger. But no, I was outside Monday after the show and I was walking sues before I went to bed. Our dog sues, not some random chick that lives in the house.

Speaker: You want to go for a walk? Okay. I feel like I have to clarify that because some people will be like, Oh my God, I wasn't watching nonsensical nonsense, but I was watching it. And Glick has some random teenage girl that he takes for walks outside on a leash locked in his house. It's our fucking dog. You idiots. Um, and. Blurkers aren't that smart. I'm just saying. Wow.

Speaker: That's why, that's why they would say it. They're not that smart. That's why you're never going to believe what Glick admitted to. We got him now. Gotcha journalism is not going to work for you folks. I'm sorry. We know he lives in Ohio. We just have to figure out what police department cops show up. We're here for the girl.

Speaker: Well, there's three of them. You can have them, I guess. They're in there. Go get them. We're looking for Susie. That's going to be your problem now, boys. We're looking for Susie, the one you keep in a cage and walk on a leash. You mean my dog? You mean my dog? Yeah, I guess you could have her, too. You can have her, too. Don't let her around other animals. She doesn't like them. She's fat and lazy. Literally all she does is sleep all day. So I don't know what she did wrong. But as soon as you're going to jail,

Speaker: But anyways, no, I was out there walking her Monday after I got, that's, this is true. Fucking cops that showed up when Mickey's old job called in a, uh, a welfare check. And I'm looking, I'm back in the car getting ready to leave. And they're like, I was like, Hey, they're like, uh, is that where Nikki lives? And I said, yeah, that's my girlfriend.

Speaker: I'm packing the car and I got a gun on my back and they're like, so we got a call from her boss. They haven't talked to her in two weeks. Um, everything. Okay. Yep. Sure. Everything's fine. Are you guys Canadian police officers by the way? You're going on a trip. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Got to, I got to get out. I mean, one of my shovel and lie farm right up the street. I'm just saying.

Speaker: I was like, she's on her way home. I'll call and they're like, Oh, okay. So I called her and it could have been any, any female that I called. Yeah. All right. I'm good. I will give them credit though. They did sit out there until she got back. And so I guess they were kind of verifying my story. I'm freaking out. Cause I'm like, I'm literally packing the car. Get ready to leave. I got a gun on my back, but one cop sees the gun. What is that?

Speaker: You talking about my gun or my pecker? Yeah, that's my penis, sir. Thank you for asking. But yeah, so Susan, I wrote there and I didn't even see him, but she's seen him. And of course she loves people. So she had to go introduce herself and I got to talking to him and I was like, just want to give you guys a heads up. I host a podcast three nights a week. Sometimes we get a little loud. Sometimes we get a little rambunctious as if we ever get loud, just come over and knock on the door and say, Hey man, you guys were a little loud last night and I'll say,

Speaker: My bad, offer you a beer, and I can't promise you it won't happen again, because it's going to happen again. Yeah, it's going to happen. And he was like, ah, don't fucking worry about it. I play video games, so I might get loud from time to time. I said, you get fucking loud, I'm going to kick your ass. All streams look on your face. I don't know if he's kidding. This random fucking Sasquatch just came out of the woods.

Speaker: You're a fuck around. You say this random fucking dog and he's like, he's going to kick my ass and make it loud, but he gets loud on the farm. Yeah, it's Nicky. You do the CK Wednesday and Thursday. Rotate between the CK and the igloos Friday, Saturday and the CK on Sunday. He says I'll talk with Tonya, but there's no reason we shouldn't be able to do that. Who hit?

Speaker: I don't know the bucket of restiness. I believe so. I said, yeah, I believe so. Do whatever you do. Whatever's best for you. You know, I got you changing jobs, life, you know, Hey, be closer to home because I'm not allowed to bring home random mini gleeks or fucking aliens. So she has to keep an eye on me.

Speaker: I'm disappointed in her. Fucking best life Nazi over here. No, for you. I just, I just, you are fucking cows and goats. I want midgets and aliens. I don't see the difference here. I mean, the midgets and aliens can ride the goats. The aliens might literally ride the goats.

Speaker: That's that's 100 % up to you I mean That's up to you I've never left a place We've had this discussion though

Speaker: I know I've never personally left a place, no matter how much they pissed me off or how dirty they did me. I mean, even gave OSU a two week notice. Now granted, I gave them a two week notice and worked one day out of those two weeks. But that was because my boss was like, yo, you're going to get paid for your vacation time, but you're going to lose all that sick time you have. I've already approved it. You just have to submit it. So I literally worked that half day when I gave my notice.

Speaker: was off for the next two weeks. I came in my last day to turn in my keys, my badge, and got my, and turned in my tools and what uniforms I had and left. I wasn't even in a half day for that first or last day. But that was because he told me I could, because I was going to lose all those hours. And I worked for him because you are like that. And I don't have any, uh, if you, if you really want a, I actually saw this the other day,

Speaker: And I've actually kind of, if you really want to go like, like, let's say you want to get a management position, but you've never had a management position before. Tell them that you used to work at a business that is out of like, that you used to work at box block blockbuster and you were the managing director of the blockbuster in your area. There's no number for them to call and verify. She's been in management.

Speaker: I'm just saying. And I don't think she's going to have a problem where she tried to find a job. I don't think she will. When you call, when you call a business. Plus when you, when you're, when you're a different company calling another company for reference, legally, they can't say anything more than, yeah, they worked here. Yeah. They were here from this time to this time. They can't fucking, the beauty of it is they can't check anyway.

Speaker: They have to take your work for it because the beauty of it is that some of us are actually decent human beings, unlike yourselves. And we don't have to worry about it. I've never done it. I've never done it. I actually saw a guy talking about it. I was like, that's kind of, you know, because he was talking about the kids that are working at like McDonald's and shit. And they want to get a jumpstart on a better career. I literally felt like a couple months ago.

Speaker: I've fallen into every job I've gotten in the past 20 years. I've literally fallen into every job. Like somebody's like, hey, you want a job? Oh, OK. Including the job I have now. Yeah. Ponzi pyramid scheme. No, I don't know.

Speaker: I -I feel like I -I live in the fuckin' Truman Show. And I keep failing up. You're failing up? I do! Look, if you say so. You were -you were there the day I, quote -unquote, got fired and then promoted, all in the same 20 -minute span. Was I, though?

Speaker: Well, you weren't there, but you were... I literally told you about it that night. Because I was fucking hammered drunk. The last time I've gotten drunk. It was like six months ago. Good lord. I say you're pissing too darn loud, boy. It's late at night and you're pissing right in the center of the bowl. Like you're frying chicken in there. You got a piss on the side, boy. Making a stealth mission. You're causing a whole ruckus pissing like that, boy.

Speaker: But you said you had a serious subject you wanted to talk about. I'm ready, willing and able. Yeah, that was the thing that you called me fucking freaking out. Yeah, I was fucking drunken and I told you that they're not firing you. They're forcing you into the job they wanted you to take. Yeah, exactly. They, well, they, they forced me into a promotion. Yeah.

Speaker: What did you say? You got, uh, what do you got news articles or some shit? Yeah. Well, you can throw those up there. If you want back, I showed you a bunch of, uh, photos of news articles traded on, uh, older versions, like, like several years old, like from like the eighties. Oh, that's good. So you're going to do like, uh, but they're actually kind of fun, like a little slideshow.

Speaker: I'll show you what I mean. You're with me. So is she getting off at nine 30 or 10? So, uh, as you see, can you see my screen? This is actually a photo of a news article. Marigold cure kills fit patient. I, Tuesday from an experimental drug. I mean,

Speaker: Oh, this was uh, this was uh for uh for hepatitis b. Huh? Yeah That tells you how old some of these are So I have I have several of these Nothing house lose their jobs as milk prices drop How does it lose its job

Speaker: Cows literally have two jobs in their life, and that's either milk or food agreed milk or steak China may be using the seed hide their submarines Wow As opposed to hiding them in the cloud

Speaker: I know what they're saying. I know I know aquatic genius and I'm not Aquaman. Yeah, but I knew that one. I I know what they're trying to say. But ladies and gentlemen, even for quote unquote professionals, it's called

Speaker: Words are hard. I'm proofreading. Yes. College Fingered Billionaire. Yeah, dude. Another better than a good old billionaire fingering. Yeah. That dude in a mustache was happy about it, too. Yeah, who's the billionaire that got fingered is what I want to know. I don't know. They're both smiling. I'm just second.

Speaker: Prisoners serving 2 ,000 -year sentence could face more time. Paul David Hander was looking forward to a 2 ,000 -year sentence. I'll start with the same. Feed that wall. I can barely read it. It's so out of focus.

Speaker: Uh, Paul Hammer was looking forward to 2000 years of staring at the same cement walls, the same wire defenses and the same guard towers. After going on a crime spree of kidnapping and murder attempts following an escape from the Oklahoma state penitentiary in the early eighties, 39 year old hammer was sentenced to more than a lifetime of federal prison.

Speaker: Uh, how drunk was it when he showed up to work that day and he was like, you hammer, the hammer Valentine, you get 2000 years. What is he fucking Methuselah? Could have just said life. I don't know. Hate populations to double by 2020 babies aren't to blame. I don't think babies are to blame. I think a little, uh,

Speaker: You know, I, this one totally got explained away. It happened in California. Yeah. Well, I think lockdowns are to blame fucker. I can kill you. One of the two. I don't know, but homicide victims rarely talk to the police.

Speaker: I mean, well, I mean, unless you've got like a psychic or an allergy board or you know, it won't be Goldberg is there. I don't know. I mean, then maybe homicide, maybe, maybe there's a shot. He was there.

Speaker: Zombie -eyed woman that says big in swimsuits busted for DUI Happened in Florida First line 26 year old Orlando woman wearing zombie contact lenses dressed as a pig

Speaker: in a nude colored bathing suit for Halloween was charged with driving under the influence last week. I mean, it's Florida. It's hard for the course, right? There, there is, um, there's a lot going on in that situation. There's a lot to, uh, to undress in that situation. So I'll be, I dressed as a pig in a swimsuit drunk out of color. I mean, it's Halloween. I get it.

Speaker: But is it Halloween or is it like fucking April 4th? It's Halloween. Oh. It's Florida. It very well could have been just a random April day. It's just a Wednesday. I get it. It's just a Wednesday in April. It's Florida. What a couple arrested for selling tickets to heaven. I mean. I mean.

Speaker: If you get right with Jesus, how much did they make and how much if you get right correctly, it looks like they're selling sign for a hundred bucks. Yeah. I mean, I mean, if you get right with Jesus, I potentially have 17 tickets that I can give you to have, I'll give them away. Like, like, I can't really read that, but it says in parentheses after a hundred dollars, cause it says,

Speaker: You know, what would have been, you know, been even better if they sold them for $6 and 66 cents. I mean, all, all I gotta, all I gotta say to him, Jeffrey is, uh, you know, that, that's, that's, that's a solid freaking.

Speaker: tickets tickets to heaven. $6 .66 but you know what? a swing and a mosh and a mosh and a mosh and a mosh and a mosh and a mosh and a mosh and a mosh and a mosh and a mosh and a mosh and a mosh and a mosh and a mosh and a mosh and a mosh and a mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh mosh

Speaker: Hold on. A convicted murderer has sued the detective who arrested him saying the investigator ruined his good name in comments. I mean, it might have been the murders, but.

Speaker: I'm not an expert on people's character or good names, but I'm willing to say that maybe you shouldn't kill people if you're worried about your good name. So basically, hold on a second. I don't know who he killed. So basically he's mad because he got caught.

Speaker: And he was like, you sir, detective ruined my good name. I killed her. I had nothing to do with it. Are you sure this isn't recent news because that's a real woke left sided 2023 thing to do. Right? I mean, it obviously is Mark Jeffrey Stover accused Harrison County.

Speaker: This is 99. There's a sheriff's department detective, Lieutenant Walter Harper, Harper, sorry, of making... Follow up to that and see how that story ended. Yeah, I know, right? Research. That's just winging a miss. That is definitely a

Speaker: Nice. Did she watch? She looks excited. Is she the director of her dad's only fan pay? She looks way too excited. She actually she looks like she wants to be the next one to. Give him a good job.

Speaker: Yeah, she doesn't know what she's doing. Let me show you how it's done, dad. He was the assistant coach at Oklahoma. Oh, so he he got the head coaching job. Yeah. So it's supposed to be head coach what they put in head job. She looks like she's about to give him head.

Speaker: It's the University of Daily, Kansas. Of where? That's right here at the top. University of Daily, Kansas. Kansas, Kansas, Kansas, Kansas. What the fuck is Kansas? It's Kansas. I'm probably saying Kansas and like. No, it's just Kansas. Oh, okay.

Speaker: Oh, I see what you're saying. I listen to Kansas and Oklahoma. I think that's what it is. The assistant head assistant coach at Oklahoma. But it also says Kansas State and Oklahoma. It's really fucking blurry. I've got that Tony D effect on your news article, but I literally snapped.

Speaker: screenshot of these off of the pick up when it came out. Yeah, I know where you got them from. It says Ford need more money. That's not wrong. And that's in 2009. I mean, it's a very accurate statement. Well, I recommend that the World Bank starts doing it. I'm poor. Give me more money.

Speaker: Safety meeting ends in an accident. I was at home. I'm sorry. That wasn't me. This is during 2013. Are you sure you weren't there? I'm at a community center. Recently. After a safety meeting concluded at the Kemet community center recently, officers and, and, and, and AMT.

Speaker: What did you just say? And these were called to the ceiling of an accident, which involved two men from the safety meeting investigating officers. Lieutenant Richard, uh, Abolos reported that, uh, when the safety meeting ended at about 11 a .m., the men went to their vehicles. One man, Richard Holcomb, 23 of Manola was driving

Speaker: A 52 year old Esteban Juarez, Jr. Of Hobbs, New Mexico. It was reported that Juarez was jaywalking. Well, let's be honest. Sounds like Juarez. Yeah. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes, Juarez. Or stay the fuck out of San Antonio. I was in New Mexico. This is right up there.

Speaker: which is pulling onto San Antonio. Maybe it was San Antonio Road. Oh, okay. Well, hold on a second. Hold on a second. Reported words was jaywalking across the street when he was struck by the pickup, which is pulling out onto San Antonio and was on the wrong side of the street. Oh, do not make a right. Ladies and gentlemen, but you still shouldn't have been jaywalking war as you're still at fault. No charges have been made.

Speaker: So it sounds like he like pulled out and was like, maybe like in the, in the left lane as he was crossing the lane. Yeah. So he wasn't. Yeah. Okay. I mean, ladies and gentlemen, don't J walk. Federal agents rate a gunshot, find weapons again, captain obvious.

Speaker: So I'm assuming they had a weapons that they weren't supposed to sell. Well, it says the store owner was arrested previously, but. Again, she's raiding a fucking gun shop. What do you think you're going to find in there? Teletubbies? Fucking fucking the goddamn Beanie Babies. I'm going to go into a gun shop and raid it and find Beanie Babies. So I'm assuming they gun shop.

Speaker: You know, there are guns you can and cannot sell. But are there? Yeah. Well, you're not allowed to like machine guns are technically illegal to buy itself. They can sell that goddamn AR -15 assault rifle. Oh, don't even get me started. The deadliest gun on the planet. I got one more. Are we ready? This one comes with a picture.

Speaker: I wish I could read it. It looks like he was a homeless man facing jail. This is over in the UK or London area because it says pounds.

Speaker: Yeah, those have the Tom logo. So the spoon man poo man. Who is it? Oh man. Home together. Good all bowels. Yeah, that was the last one that I had. I figured those were funny. I didn't look at any of them with except for the, the submarine one was the first one it showed up.

Speaker: And I was like, Oh yeah, I got a same old man. Who man smear on the run smear at the runs. Yeah, maybe, maybe once again, cause he's just a typo. Uh, but I literally saw the submarines that the Chinese was hiding the submarine in the sea. And I was like, Oh, this can only get better.

Speaker: I mean. Could you imagine walking through a forest and seeing a submarine with my branches laid on top of the tree? God damn so. Very, very sneaky. Very, very sneaky. Nobody will find it.

Speaker: How the **** did you get it here? Oh, very, very sneaky. Yes. Yes. I'm very sneaky. The Butler and Mr Deeds. Yes. Yes, I'm very. I'm very. What's his name? John Satoro. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love him.

Speaker: I'm very sneaky, sir. He's like, he just stuck right up on there. Drop a submarine on the middle of a playground. They'll never see it here. Well, it wouldn't be the last place you would look, wouldn't it? I mean, you would just... I mean, if I tell you, if I said, Chris, I have a submarine. I want you to guess where in the world I keep it. The last place you're going to think is the woods.

Speaker: My first place would be in your ass. I would automatically assume you were talking about some dildo called the submarine. I don't know if it's in your ass, Jeff. It's funny you mention that because as we read that article, I was like, where else am I going to put it there? Now that you bring it up. But yeah, I mean,

Speaker: If you tell me I have a submarine. The last place that I'm going to think to look is in the woods behind your house, to say. Plus how fucking cool it is. How cool would it be if you had a submarine and it was in the back? Like you had like, I weren't grown ass men and that would be my clubhouse. Oh, a hundred percent. I mean, a sign hanging all this. Girls allowed. Red October in your backyard. Yeah.

Speaker: Yeah, no girls replace the house with the red top red october even better I just thought of an idea Fuck buying a castle. I'm by summary go full on little rascals Oh, yeah, no cause a lot and girl haters or something Yeah, he man woman haters dear Delilah

Speaker: You make me want to God damn I'll file for you

Speaker: Yeah, we hate women now. They said it. Yeah, sure you do. Right now. Yeah, all three of us. We're going to get up. We're going to teach them a lesson.

Speaker: Everybody got your Dylan Mulvaney, Bud Light cans. Let's cheers on it. That way we know it's tweeting. Dylan Mulvaney was on the Bud Light cans and Cleveland Brown players are now on the Bud Light cans. Do you realize that there are no actual NFL players on them, but they have them for all 32 NFL teams, including the Pittsburgh Squealers. I'm sorry, the Schittsburg Squealers. Yes, but they've been doing that for a lot longer than they had Dylan Mulvaney.

Speaker: didn't actually put Dylan Mulvaney on the cans. It was literally one six pack that they sent him. But still, if you're going to make that joke, you have to understand that your Steelers are on that can as well. I've ever seen is the breath. Cause you're in fucking Ohio. That's all you're going to see. I may not be a sports guy, but I know marketing.

Speaker: And if you're in Ohio, you're selling Ohio stuff, you're going to sell more shit. I like they're going to put the Dallas Cowboys in 49ers. I see the great burning codes are gave a speech because he's, he was born and raised in Youngstown, Ohio, which is right there on that PA Ohio border. And, uh,

Speaker: he was he was in a room full of Steelers fans all these old guys and uh and he said you know I got to um

Speaker: Shout out to Pittsburgh Steelers, you know, I'm not supposed to say it cause I'm a Cleveland guy, you know, that's my team. Here's like, but you know, you guys are definitely a great organization. You've won a Superbowl in every era, blah, blah, blah. And of course there's room is full of Steelers fans and there's a couple of Browns fans in this room.

Speaker: the Browns fans were like, ooh, and the Steelers fans were like, yeah. And he was like, except when I was playing, you guys didn't do shit. And then he sat down and drink his beer and all the Steelers fans were like, ooh. I was like, Bertie, you drunk son of a bitch, I love you. Fucking Bertie taking that one dig, like build him up, build him up, build him up.

Speaker: I'm gonna take, I'm gonna cut these legs right up from underneath you boys. He said, he said, he said, look here she, you're talking about the tune all along, see? And if you do it again, I'm gonna stab you in the face with it. And we still have it. That's a pretty sweet curse for walking, I just did, right? Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

Speaker: Let's talk about buttered sausage. Talk about buttered sausage, where it comes from, what it does. Why is it doing what it's doing? Get it out of my face. What about buttered sausage? That's not your jam. It's not your thing. You don't like it? It's not my jam. I don't buy jam. I buy honey and I kiss it on the lips.

Speaker: I need that cook again. That's not my jam. I was going to tell you to leave my buttered sausage out of this, Jeffrey. Six months too late, apparently.

Speaker: Is it too late to come visit you with a metal coat hanger, a bottle of tequila? He's going to fight a stair. Jeff, I got these new boots. You should check them out. Metal coat hanger up here. Take 14 of these shots. I'm going to kick you with the stomach down this flight of stairs. 14 shots. You all have to worry about shit. He won't kick me down those stairs because I will be dead.

Speaker: Oh, first and foremost, I would be thoroughly impressed if you got to 14 shots of tequila without dying. I'd be impressed if I got four. I'd be impressed if you got a fourth. One fourth. But I wouldn't blame you because tequila is fucking disgusting. Sorry, baby. I know that's your jam. It's not my jam.

Speaker: I know I know Nikki loves her some goddamn tequila but oh my god I can't do it call me what you want to call me I can't uh I can't it's not even a matter of I can't I don't want to yeah agree I could if I really had to like invite

Speaker: If I was being forced, I can drink it. No, I couldn't, but I don't want to. Yeah, I don't want to. I can't even smell tequila anymore. I'm just like, hold up. Tequila with me when we get married. Yeah, no. Yeah. Well, you have to do a shot of my life. Yes. No. Oh, I don't want a shot of tequila. You don't do shots of it. I do shots of tequila. You have to do one with me when you're married. No, I can do a shot of a whiskey.

Speaker: No, you have to do one with me. I will do a shot with you, but I'm not doing tequila. I don't drink tequila. It sounds like we're not getting married. Aren't you supposed to be dead or something? I have a hundred thousand and one eleven tea girlfriends. I am not going to shot a tequila with you. I'm sorry. You don't love me. I do love you. I think my car fell off. Go make that TikTok.

Speaker: Well, you know what? Let me live my best life.

Speaker: I say - I say you're pissin' too darn loud, boy! It's late at night and you're pissin' right in the center of the bowl like you're fryin' chicken in there! You got a piss on the side, boy! Make it a stealth mission! You're causing a whole ruckus pissin' like that, boy! For those of you who don't know, we have to play that sound because Chris fuckin' apparently runs every faucet in the planet when he does.

Speaker: I got a fucking fire hose. If we wouldn't get flagged for it, I would tell you to redo that video with playing behind it. I mean, I probably could. Yeah, we just get flagged for it. We're back into having to do our fun little

Speaker: dance with facebook yeah now they're only muting the video and the audio and russia and stuff but i have to i have to remind them every show it's russia yeah and to remind them every show we have permission from the artist yeah we would well i don't think we would actually play a song that we didn't well i mean all the covers we do we don't have permission but speaking of

Speaker: I mean, I don't know now because I'm hoping to still get him on the show. He's going through some things, but I'd like to still get him on the show. A former, well, he's currently a Nashville singer songwriter, recording artist, whatever you want to call it. But last year, he had a number one hit on the country billboard.

Speaker: And, uh, trying to get it, he wants to come on the show, but, uh, right now some stuff going on. So hopefully we can still get him on the show. I think it'll be a, it will be an interesting, um, uh, show to have him on to chitchat with him. Um, I don't know if he can dive into some of the things he's going through right now. Um, but if not still, it'd be pretty interesting. And we've got some other stuff in the works as well with some other, uh, Nashville singer songwriters.

Speaker: into a little bit of a New area code Monday after the show But you watch did you watch the video I sent you on it? What I Set you a video on Instagram Wife said it to me and then she asked me. Did you watch that video? I was like no cuz I don't go on Instagram

Speaker: And then I watched it and I laughed so hard. It's, it's literally a, it's a compilation video of, of fails. And it's like, it's like less than a minute. But the last, the last clip in said video, I laughed so hard, I damn near pissed myself. I think I watched it, but I honestly can't remember it. The last clip is a, is a, I'm going to hell for saying it, but

Speaker: It's a little old lady. She's got a shopping cart. She's deciding to take. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker: I'm curious. Tell me. Well, if she was focused and had the energy for the day, she probably didn't. She was probably dealing with jitters and quite literally a crash because she tried one of those overpriced big energy drinks to get her through the day. And instead of going and checking out our good buddies over at W energy, W energy, no jitters, no crash.

Speaker: Go ahead and mix it with 20 ounces of watery and I'll do your thing. Mix it up a little shaky, shaky, shaky, get focused, get energized for the day. And if you want to be like your boys here at nonsensical nonsense gear up, lock in and lock down. Cause we're going to war with big energy. So head over to w .gg. Use our promo code words are hard. Save you some money on every order and get freight again.

Speaker: Oh, shaky, shaky. Oh, man. It's still trying to get me doing something. You could have been queuing up the fucking audio for the fucking video that I know you want to fucking play. I got it ready. I got it ready. I just had it here. Thank you.

Speaker: I do love that video. I'm still working on a script -ish for the voiceover. And it's coming. It'll get there eventually.

Speaker: I just rushed one out. What do you want to say it's about bedtime you weirdo. I don't even know. Want to know what the hell he's looking at.

Speaker: to be honest with you at this point. Randy can't say that I know him. I can't say that sounds like a swell. I actually. I actually. Found something online yesterday. Oh, did you? I'm actually going to break so.

Speaker: Yeah, maybe when we come back and we can get into the more serious conversation, but uh, let's go ahead and uh, do a little, uh, D wet unsigned rapper out of, out of Schittsburg PA. I really liked this song. I actually got to give more of his music and I keep forgetting to be honest with you.

Speaker: We'll be back here just a few minutes. Go ahead and check out DeWet on YouTube. D -W -E -T -T is his song holding on. Catch, catch.

Speaker: my nails break I wish that life had a fail safe A little lever is something that would be clever Something to rewind time where everything would be better Living no stress, technology is limited I know that y 'all are laughing but I'm just one of the primitive Holding on to hope that we can finally just live again I'm tryna raise this spark, I'm the flint, no Michigan Fair binds us, anger only blinds us Love is the only thing real, take off your blinds I'd be remiss if I ain't need a reminder Should get intense, emotions put on a timer

Speaker: I hope you never have a doubt, pick me up And I'ma do likewise, if you ever need a hand, a friend, call me the lino I've been in your position before, it's hard to be strong Time moves fast, they can heal or destroy you It's hard to find love and not many people adore you But if your disposition is slipping, just take a breath for me Let me try to lighten the load, just leave the rest for me We all lost, taking a ride, tryna hold on to love and my pride on this side, well I'm just

Speaker: Walls close in, I'm holding on to the fair stop All my demons within air shot They telling lies, make us think with things that we're not But hold on, don't ever let a single tear drop See back then, it was innocence, we run around Didn't ever think the time to grow up would come around You start the aging, all your feelings sitting underground It's hard to find your balance, see the light through these ups and downs, peaks and valleys We all travel the course, everybody fall The trick is getting back on your horse All these bumps and bruises gonna hurt, but the lesson is eventually

Speaker: life looking back with a pleasantness to save all the messages the universe has and live a good life cuz really this is all that you had take an opportunity and grab and live your dream cuz hold on things ain't really that bad until

Speaker: Yeah, there are, yeah, there are, well, being wet in your ear holes. I do like that song. He's got a couple of songs. I really like, um, try to reach out to that cat again. He's a, he's a young man. I think he's married and got a couple of kids trying to do the, uh, do the adult thing. It's about bedtime buddy. Uh, trying to do the adult thing, raising some kids, work and all that stuff. But he's also chasing a dream, man. I met him on Tik TOK.

Speaker: And, uh, he was in my live one night in the comments and asked to play his music. And typically I blow those people off. And, uh, for some reason, something told me to give them a listen and I muted my mic or whatever, gave it a little listen.

Speaker: And I really liked it. So I wound up playing a couple of his songs and asked him if it would be cool to play it on the podcast. He was like, hell yeah, that'd be fucking awesome. I just got to get more of his music. And that's me slacking. I haven't downloaded more yet, but he's got some couple of really good songwriters. Definitely a talented young man.

Speaker: We'll try to reach out to about having them come on the show. But that's what it's about, man. That's what it's about. It's about supporting each other, supporting what each other is doing. And not only that, but, you know, just trying to be a good fucking human being and not worry about all the other stressors and all that shit. But anywho, welcome back to nonsense. Well, nonsense. That's Jeffrey. I'm good. Hopefully you guys are enjoying the show so far tonight. We're doing what we do.

Speaker: three times a week hanging out, shooting the shit, talking real life with you motherfuckers or just having fun. A little combination of both. Nice little mixture. The other day it's the great escape because reality fucking sucks. Let's be honest. To be fair. To be fair.

Speaker: So we can provide a little bit of an escape for you for a couple hours every week and you guys can enjoy the show. And if you do like to show, go ahead and check us on the socials, Facebook, Instagram, X, and TikTok. Hang out with us live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays, seven PM is on YouTube and Facebook. And if you can't join us live, you can listen to us anytime, any place.

Speaker: Spotify and everywhere you listen to podcasts at all at nonsensical nonsense podcast or simply go to bio dot link slash nonsensical nonsense Gonna get all them social media links also gonna get the links to our sponsors Don't forget when you go to them sponsors and purchase make those purchases use our promo code words are hard Gonna save you a little bit of money ladies and gentlemen, and we all like saving money

Speaker: Give us a listen, give us a follow and give us a share. We'd greatly appreciate that as always. Anywho, speaking of showing support and actually supporting people and actually caring about how they feel and this and the other thing. And this not only, this goes out to everybody. If you're listening to this and whatnot, go ahead and hit us up on the social medias. Jeffrey, I got a question to ask you.

Speaker: 100 % serious 100 % honest This is gonna leave me just just dance with me because it's gonna lead me into what I wanted to start doing every week I got a question for you How you doing man, how you feeling how's things going You got real quiet for the first time all night

Speaker: What are we doing? Fucking mental health hour. Hey, go plug it in with the charger. I'm checking on you, man. I'm checking on you and I'm checking on, on, on, and that question goes out to any of the males listening, any male or any, any, anybody listening, whether you're listening live or you're listening to the replay, like I said, hit us up on them social medias. How are you guys doing? How's everything going?

Speaker: You know, what's on your mind? What's, you know, what's going on? Um, it's kind of a bro check and I want to start doing it once a week. I want to do it early on in the show. I want to start doing it in the first hour, but in seriousness and all honesty, um, we've had the conversation about men's mental health. We've, we've, we've talked men's mental health. We've talked about the struggles and.

Speaker: Everything that men go through and and I'm not just limited to this to men But I am addressing the men in the audience and the men on this show But ladies the question is out to you guys as well How's it how are you doing? How are you feeling? You okay? You all right? Women are are less likely to bottle it up

Speaker: No, that's why this is main focus is admin. This is for men. And this is directed to, to the male audience. But if there's a woman out there going through something that she doesn't have anybody to talk to, or it feels like she doesn't have anybody to talk to, she wants to hit us up. Um, then I'm not going to ignore, but it is directly focused for the men. And as far as the show goes, and you know, the same question can be put back on me.

Speaker: It doesn't have to be a long talking point. It can be just a quick 15, 20 minute segment. But first and foremost, we come on this show. You come on and do this show two times a week. I do the show three times a week.

Speaker: And we have fun and we joke and we laugh and everything else. But at the end of the day, um, and as you, as you said earlier, we don't, you know, cause we're, we're both busy. We got a lot, you got a lot going on in your world. I got a lot going on in my world on fiance or some shit. I'm telling you, look it up. It's a real thing. You know what? I'm going to, for the first time in 25 years, I'm going to take your word for it. But, you know, I will take that win.

Speaker: We don't get a lot of time to conversate about the real things so What better opportunity than we have than the fact that we get to spend six to Ten hours a week together So why not make it a segment but not only make it a segment for us But allow our listeners and and and and and whatnot especially the men and I do want to direct it at the men

Speaker: because it is a men's mental health thing. And it's nothing that I'm, you know, that I'm, and like I said, I'm going to have to answer the same questions as well. Um, it's not something I'm trying to get information to use against anybody or anything like that. It's against you, Jeff. It's an honest question. How are you doing? How are things going? What, you know, what's going on? Honestly, I'm super stressed all the time. All the fucker.

Speaker: but normal, like normal day -to -day stress or new added stress. The work stress, the documentation to move to France is a fucking huge pain in the ass. Here's the problem, and I'll make it quick. Just getting a new passport. I have to go to the American passport and go get a new passport. Sounds easy, right? No, no, no.

Speaker: can't go to the one here. I have to go to the one that's four hours away. And they're only open while I'm at work. Yeah, take time off work and go get it done. Understood. Unfortunately, as, as Vera said, I'm her bitch. And I do a lot of the admin work for work. I have appointments daily. Well, I need in order to go if I want to take a day off, I have to schedule said day.

Speaker: A week in advance, minimum. And that's if I'm lucky. Yeah, go ahead. Uh, so yeah, the, the issue with that is, is it comes down to, uh, getting the paperwork is a huge pain in the ass. Um,

Speaker: And it's not just my paperwork. We have to get kids paperwork. We have to get the extended visa, which you have to get before you go. I don't understand how that works because it's the only country on the planet. You have to. And right now at work, it's a bit slow, but it's slowly picking up. And I am currently.

Speaker: uh covering two families uh grocery wise and you always got to check your books check your power slips you gotta put everything on fire but yeah like like i said um right now uh i guess my my in -laws aren't making a whole ton of money so guess who gets to cover

Speaker: because I make more than that. So the day -to -day stress of 24 -7 weighs on you every once in a while. But I'm fine. I'll be all right. It is what it is. Rub some dirt on it, get back out there. Take a lap, as they say.

Speaker: I didn't get to hear all your fathering. I literally just spent it. Yeah. Um, so in, in, in, this is the thing that I was going to say before I had to explain the cash number one, man rule. If something's not working, check your plugs, make sure it has power. His Roku got unplugged on his TV. I found the funniest TikTok.

Speaker: it. So if you have, you don't have this problem. I don't have this problem. But if anyone has one of those nagging wife, it's like, Oh, why, why do you always do this? Why do you want to break? Oh, yeah. Just start where he just, he disconnects like the power of the TV. He turns the water off in the bathroom. Yeah. He goes in there. He closes the door and he's just playing with a drill tapping on stuff while he's taking a break. Watch this.

Speaker: I was like, you know what? I'm not mad at it. Yeah. I was going to say when you were talking about the, this is how, ladies and gentlemen, this is Jeffrey doing what Jeffrey does. He's uncomfortable right now because I've put him on the spot. So he's trying to distract me. But here's the thing. I know, but here's the thing. Um,

Speaker: if moving to France was a high priority or something that you, you know, and I'm not saying you do or don't, or it is, or it isn't, but if it was something that you actually wanted to do and there was no hesitation to it, you wouldn't say, look, Hey, I need to take Monday off. Um, because I gotta go get this stuff taken care of. And I understand that, well, it's my job. I have to do my job. You know, I've been there. I've said these fucking things. And it literally,

Speaker: Anything you're going to say is preaching to the choir because I've been there and I've done that. Well, it also comes down to you have to have an appointment. And again, you tell your company, you tell whoever your boss is. Look, you guys know, we're working on moving to France. I can only do this stuff during the week. It's four hours away. I'm taking Monday off.

Speaker: I'm gonna leave on a Thursday night. That way I can get there on Friday, do the podcast on Saturday from the town that the consulate is in, kind of do the whole weekend thing, come back on Sunday. Well, whatever the case may be, you make that day off a priority to where you can go and get it done and not make excuses because it's

Speaker: Let's be honest and you know, I'm always gonna be honest with you and I'm gonna be a little blunt and come across like a ticket You're making excuses and it might be that some part of you Is it whether you believe it or not or feel it or not, but there is a part of you subconsciously That's afraid to make the move to France. Oh No, if I could I'd leave now. Oh Yeah, I'd leave tomorrow. He said the same thing about going to Charleston

Speaker: Was as I found out You've ever been to an American consulate outside the US It's a huge thing in the ass. I would rather stand in line to get Yeah, there's there's things in the US are very huge pain in the ass. No, I've never been outside It makes what going going to the DMV like a holiday. I have no problem one of the TMP Oh

Speaker: The DMV I go to here, I get in and I get out. I might wait 20 minutes, but I'm in and I'm out. Well, the biggest concern is the time frame for me. And like I said, you have to tell them at work, look, whatever day off. Not even about that. The day off, that's an easy thing. It's already scheduled. I'm heading out on the

Speaker: I don't remember the day I have it. I have the day off of my count. Not a problem. The problem is comes down to once you order your password, it takes a month to come in. Nothing you can do. I can get any more paperwork until I have it. So you just wait. If we don't leave by end of December, we basically can't go.

Speaker: So I would have made it a priority for me, you know, me personally, I would have made it a priority to take the time off two months ago, three months ago, when you guys decided you were going to France and not wait until the end of the week. We decided last month. Officially, like we talked about it, but it was like, maybe kinda, we'll think about it. And then, uh, you know, it is what it is priority numero uno, as you guys say in Mexico.

Speaker: prior to numero una. I wouldn't have waited a month. And now you're a month in. Now you're looking at it another two weeks out. So a month and a half to even try to schedule it. I would have been like, Hey, look, my wife and I, I would call my bar, bear, whoever. Tony and I, I need next Friday off.

Speaker: Cause I've got to go get my passport situation, figure it out. I gotta get the stuff with the kids, figure it out. I gotta get all this fucking paperwork done. Yeah. You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? That's why I said, you know, there might be, and you don't even realize it right now. You will down the road that there's subconsciously a small part that well, no, there's, there's

Speaker: fear or whatever because you're literally that and you you but I also frame a reference of moving to a new state but moving to a different country is a whole lot of walking but I also know you understand but I also I also know you and I know that you get comfortable and content

Speaker: and are not, not always the biggest fan of change. Oh, a hundred percent. Yeah. The fact that I have to leave my house to get to my passport pisses me off. Yeah. Yeah. So I think, and like I said, it's not necessarily a fear, but there's a small part of you, a subconscious part of you that you may not even realize it. And they're like, yeah, let's put it off. And then nothing has to change. You know what I mean?

Speaker: You were so fixated on the fear thing. I had to try to find the right words to change it around. There is that, but it's also, I totally want to go. I'm ready. If I had all the paperwork right now, we'd be on the next flight. Well, you would be afraid of people who are five foot tall if you were 482. I'm also, I'm also not looking forward to the flight, the flight itself.

Speaker: How many nine hours? Yeah, but that's, that's a minor inconvenience. That's, that's, that's so far left to center of, of the conversation that we're really having about the making the excuses and putting it off. And I do the same thing. I'm just as guilty of you, you know, I get, I get comfortable. I get content and I fucking hate change. And I think that's why, you know,

Speaker: when we both knew that Mike had reached his time with us, but we still. You know, even Tony and nothing against Tony day. I mean, I've said it a million times. I love Tony to death. I just need him to get his, get his mind, get his, get his shit right. And, and, and to figure out what he wants to do or, or, or.

Speaker: Whatever. I mean if you you know if he can prioritize properly and stuff like that and he wants to come back then come back but You know the The Free ride era is over if you're gonna be here and as I've told you it's time to put in some fucking work Yeah, you're gonna be a part of the show But uh, no, I think I think that's like like I said, they're subconsciously

Speaker: that you're just kind of Yeah, that's what I thought buzz off Another one of my shirts have made their way. What shirt is this? It's my Superman. It's the Superman shirt that you gave me in Ohio or in Pennsylvania with your shirt and told me I could keep it forever. Did I? Yes, you did along with some very sweatpants. I still don't know where they're at.

Speaker: You know, I never have to worry about that. My wife never steals my clothes. Because they're too small. Exactly. Another advantage of being a short and small. Her shoes, her shoes, her and I wear the same size shoes. And you bound that out because you put her dress and heels on.

Speaker: actually, yeah. And I say that, I admit that because one Halloween I win. Okay, Tim Curry. Listen here. You are not a super sexual. Don't talk shit about Tim Curry.

Speaker: You are not, you are not a super sexy sexual transvestite from Transylvania. I'll tell you that. Sexy. I'm a sexy motherfucker. Trust me, being your friend for 25 years, I wish I could do a time off. The one thing I have to worry about is my wife does steal my tennis shoes. Yeah. But I like more pairs of Nike Airs than she steals. Like I said, moving forward on Wednesdays, go ahead and prepare to be

Speaker: in the hot seat and made you feel uncomfortable because moving forward I do I do want to it will spend as much time as we wind up spending with it that I don't plan on I don't really I you know I don't know if you can stretch this into multiple episodes because once a week it's it's it's a once a week thing it's approaching man it's just checking I know I get but

Speaker: And it's not always about, it's not just about us. This is the thing. It's not just about us. You have to, you have to remember, I know you, you don't understand that you and other people who have been a part of this don't understand. We're actually doing a podcast. We're not just fucking hanging out just to hang out. Um, this goes out to our, our listeners and yes, it is directly 100%. Very pointed right at our male listeners because those, you know,

Speaker: When I asked Jeff or Jeff asked me, you know, how are you doing? How's everything going? Everything, you know, how, how was the week been, you know, what's up? Those, those, those questions are for you guys as well. And, and, and if you guys are in the chatters box, or if you're listening to the replay and you want to hit us in the comments or hit us on the social media, um, that's why I want to do it. And I wanted, I love you. I'm going to duck. All right. Don't die. I love you. No dying alive. Um, but

Speaker: We do do this show three times a week and I do want to show to take the opportunity that we have because we do have a platform and we do have listeners and we are predominantly male orientated audience that what? Thanks. But I do want to stress the fact that

Speaker: Guys, if any place, believe it or not, we're an outlet for you. We got you, you know, we're, we are a safe space. We'll give you some warm milk and puppies and, and, and, and some Batman coloring books. Yeah. Fuck you. Where's my coloring book? I opened up. It's in the mail. Oh.

Speaker: and mail her to France. Her pussies twin brother, so sua will deliver it to you. Um, no, it's not just me putting it up in the hot seat. I got to get in the hot seat too. And I got to, and you guys have seen me open up on here. You guys have seen me talk and you've heard me talking and, and, and it might turn into one of these things where we break down and have a conversation.

Speaker: just sharing our fucking story because you know a lot of people get this perception of us and and an idea of us and they don't understand just like everybody else we're fucking human and and and you know and at the end of the day you think you're going through some shit well and you think it's the end of the fucking world you might have two people here who's been through and seen a lot worse than you've ever seen or gone through

Speaker: It might open your eyes or somebody in the challenge box or somebody on social media is gonna share their story and it's gonna go Wow You know you don't have it as bad Yeah, you know and that's one of the things that I've gotten credit for a couple of times When we've opened up on Mondays and or When conversation or topics have come up and a lot of people were surprised to Just kind of get a glimpse into my backstory

Speaker: My world what said hi dad. Hi daughter You can be rid of me I guess nothing for uncle Jeff You fell for that shit you got stuttered out your coochie sauce Your tampons

Speaker: I am not a fiance. I'm on fiance. It's the state of being of having a fiance is on fiance. Hold on. Let me allow me to Google it. Allow me to Google it.

Speaker: I am because I'm curious because I've been saying it forever. On Fiance. Definition of on Fiance. That's ambulance. I don't even see it. On Fiance. Definition of on Fiance. It's actually an English word. It's not even a word.

Speaker: Oh, no, that's finance. I'm stupid. That's finance. Three types of fiance. I mean, finance, pro and rich. You're three, you're three financial stages.

Speaker: I don't think it's a fucking word, Jeff. Jeff said I am on fiance. She's got like 14 college degrees and she don't even know what the fuck you're talking about. I don't know if it's on.

Speaker: Traditionally, you are a man who is engaged. That's an off -fiance that it said audience. Yeah, I got finance. No, audience. Audience. Audience. Audience. Audience. Audience. Oh, OK. So, fiance.

Speaker: is the masculine and fiance is the feminine. It's still fiance. It's just the feminine is fiance with the little above the, and it's a double E. Yeah. The fiance or fiance with the little squiggly or the little dash above it is feminine version.

Speaker: Beyonce are directly from French, which which is the language of origin on Beyonce refers to a man who is engaged to be married. I'd like to be on shoe right upside your fucking head. Calm down there, Beyonce. You're on. You like it? You put a ring on it. I'm just saying Beyonce. I'm all Beyonce.

Speaker: I'm all finance. I literally you and I looked up the exact same thing because it it it uh auto corrected you know I guess the did you mean and I was like yeah that's what I meant and I and it's like yeah it's money and I was like wait a minute that's finance well once again you're trying to make shit up and turns out it's a real word I was right

Speaker: How does it feel to be a failure? How does that make you fail? How does that make you fail? How does that make you fail? How does that make you fail? How does that make you fail? How does that make you fail? How does that make you fail? How does that make you fail? How does that make you fail?

Speaker: Do you use a washcloth when you shower, Chris? No. I don't either. Here's a bar of soap. Bar of soap, rub it on your soap, get soap. Yeah, but I have my own soap, so. That's biting soap. Soap is soap. Yeah, I use soap. I got bar of soap. Yeah. Wait, you guys don't share a bar of soap?

Speaker: I say you're pissin' too darn loud, boy. It's late at night and you're pissin' right in the center of the bowl like you're fryin' chicken in there. You got a piss on the side, boy, makin' a stealth mission. You're causin' a whole ruckus pissin' like that, boy. Wait, good lord, what do you take goin' for the record? So you're saying you don't share a bar of soap with Nicky?

Speaker: No, no, no. We we she she has her own. I have my own. I have this. OK. It's mad Viking beard and body soap. OK, it looks like it was made by Fight Club. Well, yeah, it's yeah. So so and she's got she's got goat milk soap.

Speaker: Um, so I just take my bar and yeah, you, you get wet, you rub your body and you rinse off the soap, rinse off your body. You're fucking done. Yeah. But I also use that for, I use that for beard shampoo because it's, it's made for. Right. And I let the, let the soap set in my beard and on my body. And then I put shampoo in my hair and then I conditioned my hair and beard and rock and roll, man. Yeah. Sounds like a lot of work.

Speaker: It's called taking a goddamn shower, Jeffrey. I know you're not used to it. I know it's a new concept to you, but when you get in there, you don't just turn the fucking water out. How long does it take you to get a shower? In and out of the shower? Yeah. Like five, 10 minutes. Okay. Okay, then that's fine. I thought you were getting there for like 45 minutes. I take 45 minutes taking a shit before I actually get it in the shower.

Speaker: Oh, agreed. Yeah, I'm there. Yeah. I start watching YouTube. First thing, first thing in the morning, I don't do, I turn on the computer and I head to the job and I sit there, watch my fucking phone, take a three hour shit, then go to work. I get to work. I take a shit. I go to lunch after lunch. I'll take a shit, come home. I take a shit and eat dinner and stuff like that. And then after I eat dinner, before we go to bed, I take a shit. I take four shits a day.

Speaker: I got a good, I got a good, healthy. I take two shifts a day. Okay. Well, you're morning. When I first wake up, we got a digestive system. I got a strong system. No, it sounds like you have the weak digestive system. But, but in all fairness, how, how, how many times a day do you eat?

Speaker: Do I what? Eat. Once, maybe twice. Yeah, I eat once a day. If you don't count chips and shit. Yeah, but the one meal you have a day is the equivalent of six meals a day. What are you talking about? Today, I had two Big Macs and two fries. You have bragged. That's a lot, dude. No, it's not.

Speaker: You have bragged about eating an entire dominator pizza yourself, which you said is like a four and a half foot long pizza. No, it's not four and a half foot long. It's a circle. It's what? It's 40 inches across. Yeah. Do you know how big the typical large pizza or an extra large pizza is? Yes. Like 12 inches. No, it's like 18 to 20. So it's more than double an extra large pizza.

Speaker: Well, no, but like if I get a dominator eat by myself, that's going to last me all day. Like I'm going to snack on it all day. And I've also watched you eat on this show, a Big Mac and like three quarter pounder and fries and Coke. I mean, that's not untrue.

Speaker: It's just tell me it's true. You don't you don't have to try to fucking dance around it. All right You sound like a goddamn politician. It's not untrue I'm not saying I did what I did So so when I go on to my Delivery app, I use a company called TV and I order they called the office the office max

Speaker: No, no, no, no, no. It's called the Office Mac. It's literally a Big Mac and fried. That's all it is. Doesn't come with any drinks. That's just a fucking number one. Without the drink. Why don't you get the fucking drink? Because I have drinks. It's also cheaper. It's like $3. And I get two of those. Or I'll get one of those.

Speaker: And they have the two double cheeseburgers for five bucks. So you eat two big bags, two double cheeseburgers. They're like the little cheeseburgers that you get. And I'm good. And I struggle to finish the big and I'm twice your size. Yeah, but you should, I do.

Speaker: Yeah, because I've got a good system Shit goes in I think that's where I have the belly It's literally sit in front of this computer for well on today today Like 15 hours straight. I know my normal routine is three shits a day. I

Speaker: morning after work and before bed. But there are days where I shit after lunch, depending upon what I eat. Yeah, it does depend on what you do. What is the average? No. What is the normal shits per day? Bow movement. Frequently different from person to person as a general rule, pooping anywhere from three times a day,

Speaker: That is not normal if you poop three times a week. I hate to break it to you. Wait, three times a week? It says as a general rule, pooping anywhere between three times a day to three times a week is normal.

Speaker: Is it normal to poop five times a day? First, let's be clear. There's no rule about the number of bowel movements. Some people poop several times a day. Others go every few days. Normal is something that, is it normal to poop seven times a day? How much poop in a day is normal?

Speaker: Basically everything I'm looking at is the norm is three times a day. Well, different and different and bowel activity is affected by your diet, age, activity level. I wish to said anything. Yeah. This is, this is activity level. Would you shit less? Yeah. Three poos a day to three poos a week is healthy. There's no, you know what? I'm not a fucking doctor. Um, but I'm going to tell you if you're only having a bowel movement or pooing,

Speaker: three times a week. There's something wrong with you. You should see it on the run. You're going to, you're going to have your colon and happier intestines removed because they're not working properly. You're going to get back into your liver and kidneys. I wonder, I wonder about the inactivity in your lung. I wonder if inactivity affects your bowel movement because I'm literally

Speaker: I've left this room twice. I'm sure it does. I've left this position. Actually leaving the room twice. You've left the room like 17 times tonight. No, but that's the only going out of the box. You should be pulling a lot more since you're six months pregnant. That's why I'm pregnant. Your child is clogging my pooper.

Speaker: Maybe you should poop more. However, if I eat the wrong thing that doesn't agree with me, I will shit all day. Eat that one meal with as soon as you finish it or like, Oh, that was awesome. But it's going to disagree. I think that's safe to say. Everybody goes through that. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that usually happens about once a week.

Speaker: Once a month Depending on what I eat like if I live down there if I live down there probably happened to me seven times a day Everything I eat is gonna be Mexican

Speaker: Maybe I'll eat around the world all you can eat buffet. I'll do it in a day. That's a lot. Gotta stay strong, man.

Speaker: What was it? What was it? Do you? I think we talked about it on here. That one kid that that rubbed one out like 37 times in one day and died. Oh, speaking of that, did you know? December is banging out December. No, that means solo banging it out. Really rub one out in December. I'm in. I mean, I don't know.

Speaker: before you because you know we got no nut November sober October which I've clearly failed at it's only the fourth day and you know oh my second day we're gonna figure that yeah I'm on my second day of October of drinking or maybe third day

Speaker: I can't remember any second day at minimum, but so there's like sober October, no, not November, but so it's apparently December is like banging out December, rub it out in December, where you masturbate in December, but here's the, here's the kid. But here's the kid. So like on the first, you do it once.

Speaker: All the way to the 31st, where you do it 31 times. So each day, you do it that amount of times of the day. This guy's not even listening to me. He's talking to someone. She's drunk in France, ladies and gentlemen, she's drunk in France.

Speaker: I mean, she's in Mexico City. I mean, she's in Cancun. I mean, I don't even know what the hell he's talking about. I can't hear him or cameras can't even read lips. But in the private chat, I don't know. I have no idea what the hell he just did.

Speaker: I'm looking there's nothing Now jesus christ Get the fuck on But yeah, apparently I don't know how true it is I haven't looked it up yet But it's like hang it out december rub it out december something but so like on the first it's warned and

Speaker: Second, it's two times that day, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And so forth until you get it in every corresponding day. So many times you're supposed to do that. I was going to ask Jeff if he could make it all the way through December, you know, last day being 31st, you got 31 times in one day, don't day. I'm not saying I work crisis. I was, I put here in the banner.

Speaker: I was on the phone with a coworker. Yeah, she's, she's had a couple. Yeah, sure. I've had a couple too. Yeah, but she sounds like she, I don't think she drinks like you do. I mean, who the fuck does, but yeah, like this week, so far this week has been,

Speaker: What's the nice way to put a shit storm for all of us in general. So, uh, as you know, we have clients that call us all day, every single call she got, uh, yesterday, she got like every single shit show, show call. And

Speaker: So I, I told her today, I said, uh, I'm ordering you to have a drink and I think she might've taken a little too far. Yeah. Evans, what are you going to do? But yeah. So she just, she's like, Hey, I want to thank you for, you know, help about this week. You know, I was like, okay, that's weird. Cause that's what I do every week. So she's obviously had a few because.

Speaker: She's praising me while she's calling. She's like, you're the best. I'm like, okay. I was like, Sam, are you drinking? She's like, a little bit. I was like, got it. I got to go. I'm in the middle of a podcast. Oh shit. You're not, I'm not on here, am I? I'm like, no, I'm using my mic. Don't worry about it. You should have put her on there. I thought about it. I said, I don't know. I would have. Just send you the link like I did Vera.

Speaker: But yeah, like I actually created a meme. Yesterday at work, you know, as you know, we do a, we have a chat group for work. And somebody posted a meme and I was like, finally, I'm here posting a meme and I was like, finally.

Speaker: She's like, what are you talking about? It has begun. She's like, what are you talking about? I said, it's been a shit week so far. We're having a meme war. Everybody dropped at least one meme. And so throughout the day, we're dropping memes all day. And it kind of, it was a way to break up the monotony of the bullshit we were all going through. And today was an amazing day because of it. I'm not saying it was because my meme war

Speaker: But, you know, it was kind of like a real laughter. Did you did you really just find a way to make it all about you and give yourself all the praise? Always, always. Oh, young young Padawan, you are learning the ways.

Speaker: Oh, oh, oh, Luke Skywalker. Ways you have learned, Luke. No, but so one of the funniest means. One day, one day, maybe, just maybe, you will be as good as your teacher, and you can be the intergalactic champion of the world, of the galaxy.

Speaker: No, but so it's all about safe means. And so what do you mean? The winning meme that I deemed the winner the other day, unfortunately, wasn't even mine. And I'm sad to say it was my friend Elizabeth. She said that this one. Yes, I. I feel legal when I see it. That's that's not the science of a true intergalactic champion. Yes, I mean, I do.

Speaker: I mean, if you want to be a real champion one day, you have to put the peasants in their place and let them know why you're the champ and not allow them to win. Much like I did to you, bitches. 27. Yeah, them late night votes coming in. But whole stuff.

Speaker: Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot. Ballot

Speaker: But I have a Facebook post that's well over 10 ,000 comments and, um, nice. I made that one for her. Yeah. Um, you know, I have a Facebook post that's a couple of years old. That's well over 10 ,000 comments and, uh, multiple shares and, and, uh, every year it comes up and we continue the saga, if you will. Um,

Speaker: a lot of it are are are memes and gifts and and I like to say that um I can stay in toe to toe with any challenger. I don't know. I'm pretty good at some gifts. I got. Oh, I'm the king. I love doing gifts like as opposed to answering somebody's question, I'll send a gift. So, hold on a second. I can ask you this question. Is it gifts or gifts? I always thought it was gifts but I'm

Speaker: It's supposedly pronounced gift. I'm going to go with gifts. I, yeah, to me it's spelled gift because my favorite one, the one I use the most lately is the Chris Helms or that's what yours is. See what you gifts are. If you're a true, if you're a true gift master, you only need to use it one time and you never again. No.

Speaker: It's a one and done. It's a one night. It's a one night stand that shows up pregnant. And when it shows up pregnant to try to be repeated, you punch it in the stomach and give it a couple of shots of tequila. You're saying that if you use a gift once anywhere, you're not allowed to use that gift again.

Speaker: Yes. That's that's I find that I find that to be a true gift master. I actually got into a gift war at at when I was working for Expedia. Now, that's not saying that the same phrase. Oh, no, no, no. You put in a phrase.

Speaker: you'll find 40. Yeah. Understood. Yeah. No, that's fine. No. Uh, and I know you've never seen Barry Gordy's last dragon, but you really do not have the glow. I have the gift club. I've never used a gift more than once in a gift war. Now, every Sunday. Yeah. That's what I'm saying in a gift war. No, you don't use the same day.

Speaker: on a normal day and a pretext for funny. Every Sunday I use the same Cleveland Brown, well, one of two Cleveland Browns or three Cleveland Browns gifts, which is my, one is Miles Garrett going dog shirk because it's Sunday. We're looking, we've got to get a dog check out there. And most of my fantasy football group are Cleveland Browns fans. So there's that. So you have the dog check.

Speaker: Hit him with the Miles Garrett dog. You hit him with the Nick Chubb dog check, but that's not a, that's not in a funny factor or a war factor or that's just, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a ritual. That's a routine. That's the people will look forward to the dog check on Sundays. I'm having a football gift for, I got plenty of other.

Speaker: Oh, there's also the dog pound Macho man that I like to use. Was the guy that stressed his Macho man, Randy Savage and all Cleveland colors. And he's in the stands and he's like, oh yeah, and he's pointing. But that's sports really. Ooh, I can.

Speaker: But never ever in a before never ever in a gift war nor do you in a funny matter Send the same gift to the same person more than once if you want to know if master If you want to master gift I Don't think you know she don't know. Well, it doesn't work. Look at that. Yeah, I found it. We can't reuse it Yeah, I accept

Speaker: So that's that's a one. That's that's a one turn and burn. Yeah, that's a one turn. Yeah, exactly. But. That was a great. By the way. So the one I use today, how was it? It's all about the turn and burns man. Hit him with the laugh. You gotta make him laugh and then and then move on to the next one.

Speaker: And it has to be, it has to actually pretend station. You can't just throw a random ass fucking, you can't be conversating and dropping gifts back and forth about one topic and then drop a gift that has nothing to do with the topic you're talking about. That's, that's a flag. That's a flag. That's a 15 yard penalty. Personal file. This is, this is the one I use today.

Speaker: Should have only used it once. See, right? There's already an infraction. Jeffrey, throw in a flag. I was making sure you could see it because it is very quick. Yeah. All right. The flag's already thrown. You can't... There's nothing you can do about it. You got to accept the penalty. Personal found. Gift infraction. That's not a gift. That's an acceptable... That's different. That's a whole different category.

Speaker: That's a mean. And it goes with the topic of the conversation. And so they can be used over and over again. Unless you're in a mean war, if you use them, if you use the same mean more than once in a mean war, well, sorry, but that's, that's targeting and that's the injection. And that's an automatic injection or ejaculation in your case. And that's the thing.

Speaker: You got too excited. She prematurely ejaculated on the field. They're the same meme up twice and I mean more. You're ejected. Ejected dejected for early ejaculate. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck you, Riley. Fuck you, Riley. Fuck you, Josie.

Speaker: I'm just saying man, I don't know. I don't make the rules. I'm just telling you how it is. You don't get to be the intergalactical champion. By slacking on your morals.

Speaker: You don't, you don't, you don't get to be the inter -galactical champion by doing leg day. I always skip leg day. That's because you're fucking four eight and you think the more leg day you do, you think you'll grow. Speaking of my height, I, so.

Speaker: You've we've all heard the the the Hollywood favorite Hollywood's most famous joke We've all heard Hollywood's most famous joke the punch leg being wrecked them damn near kill them It's like nine different movies Well, there is a a theme joke in Game of Thrones That the joke is never told Much like the

Speaker: What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Joke from how I met your mother. What is that joke? It's jam and jelly, first of all, not peanut butter and jam and jelly. The wife and I got an argument about it last night. She convinced me it was peanut butter. No. What's the difference between jelly and jam?

Speaker: That's what I thought. That's what I told her. See, I was fucking like, damn it. I can't. So Peter Dinklage's character. Constantly starts a joke. Yeah. No, wrong. Peter Dinklage. Oh, he was he was he was the ice captain king. White Knight. White Knight. White Knight.

Speaker: the white death. He was winner. So, Peter thinks as as of all know, it's in my eye. You could have warned me and he starts, he he does it three times. He starts the joke and you never hear the punch line. Well, I actually looked it up and I found the joke and the joke says as period once again, he's

Speaker: Nevermind. I don't, I don't fucking care. Just tell me the joke. Okay. A midget walks into a brothel. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. So, so, so Dingleberry, Peter, Peter Dinklage. He, he literally starts this joke multiple times in the show and he says a midget walks into a ball. No, he, well, he actually says I once walked into a brothel. Okay.

Speaker: Okay, so obviously he's a midget, okay? So a midget walks into a brothel. I'm just a little person. Oh, fuck you. So he walks into a brothel. Fuck you, that's my - Smaller stature. So Peter Diglidge walks into a brothel. Sorry, Pete. With a honeycomb and a donkey.

Speaker: So he starts the joke, I once walked into a brothel with a honeycomb and a donkey. You never actually get to hear the joke. And the joke is, as Peter Dinkins, I once walked into a brothel with a honeycomb and a donkey. And the madam says, how can I help you? And he says, I need a woman to lay with me tonight because my wife has left me. And the madam says,

Speaker: I'm so sorry to hear that. We could definitely feel that. A couple of questions. She's looking at the honeycomb and the donkey. She says, yeah, my wife found a genie. And the genie granted her three wishes. And her first wish was for a house fit for a queen. And he gave her this damn honeycomb. And she said she also wanted an ass the entire kingdom could be jealous of.

Speaker: and this damn donkey showed up. She just, the madam says, well, what, what was the third wish? She wished that my cock hung down past my knee. And the madam says, well, that's not that bad. He says, I used to be six foot nine. But even as a, as a,

Speaker: uh of small stature to have a guy that hangs down past your knees. I'm impressive. I'm just saying. I mean, he's got us be even even if we fucking uh

Speaker: The border is set very well when it comes to us. No, no. We can bolster on that and still not get there. I'm just saying. Small dick lives matter. Small dicks matter. But yeah, so last night I was flicking through TikTok and there was one of those scenes that pops up in Game of Thrones where he starts the joke. And I'm like, God damn it. I want to hear the end of this punch line.

Speaker: So I had to look it up and I found it. And that was the joke. And I fucking, I laughed my ass off. Were you happy? I am. Did you? Did you get your? Chris, what's the difference between jelly and jam, sir? Jesus Christ. Do you really not know the joke? Do you not know the punch line? Of course you do. Of course I do. I can't tell you my dick in your ass, Chris.

Speaker: I say you're pissing too darn loud, boy. It's late at night and you're pissing right in the center of the bowl like you're frying chicken in there. You got a piss on the side, boy. Make it a stealth mission. You're causing a whole ruckus pissing like that, boy. And then, of course, there's always my personal favorite of Hollywood's favorite jokes.

Speaker: is little Johnny comes in late to class and he says, Johnny, why are you late? You should stand up in front of the class and tell us all why you're late. As well, I was walking down the street with my dog and all of a sudden another dog started chasing my dog. And out of nowhere, my dog stopped and the other dog slammed right into his ass.

Speaker: He says, Johnny, we don't say ass, we say rectum. Rectum, damn near killed him. Well, it's on one side. That is the funniest joke of all time. It's on three. What are you talking about? Sweat it out. That's the best way to do it, Lola. What's she doing? Sorry. She's saying? Sorry. I was on, on fiance duty.

Speaker: Yeah, you're on beyond see yeah, we've all mad been there What she's not feeling well, I'm assuming that's why you're telling her sweat it out So Was that is she sick

Speaker: Oh dude, she, Oh my God. Um, so Sunday when we was coming back, I think we both thought the same thing. Um, I thought she was just like super freaking hung over. So we were coming home and you know, she was like sitting in the car and her stomach was a wreck dude. Like, Oh, I think, I think we stopped.

Speaker: Did we just stop the one time or did we stop twice, baby? Every single guy stays in her bathroom. We stopped a couple of times so she could like throw up and stuff like that. And I, you know, because we were at the concert and, and, and we had, I was, I had, I had more than she had, but I was definitely way sober than she was. Um,

Speaker: but then there was there on the planet. Yeah, let's be honest. No, I know. I was I was absolutely probably like. Holy shit. Flufus back. Not been four hours ghost. It has been.

Speaker: Three. Yeah, it's only been three hours. Calm down. You've only been gone for two. So, but also she was drinking like the fruity, weird, I don't drink that stuff. I was drinking, drinking Michelobaltra at the concert.

Speaker: much I like Michelobulture, but I don't want to pay Michelobulture prices. That's the problem. 12 pack of 12 ounce or 12 ounce Michelobulture lights is like 17 bucks as opposed to a 12 pack of 16 ounce Miller lights being 12. So, you know, so anywho,

Speaker: So I, we, we both thought it was just, she was super hungover because then we went super cool bar, right? Like right across the street. It was a bar restaurant right across the street from the hotel. Literally you could see our room from the, from the bar. Yeah. It was actually her right. Well, I didn't, I didn't say no.

Speaker: I mean, let's be honest, Jim. I've turned out a lot of things in my life. You know, when we got there, I was like, Oh, we should check that out. We can come back from the concert. Maybe we can get something to eat. It was like a sports bar, sports bar restaurant, but the place was massive.

Speaker: And, uh, you know, and, and, and so on the way back, she was like, yeah, so when it goes like, yeah, let's go in and we can grab a little something to snack on and have a couple of drinks and turns into a few. She had now granted, I did buy a $60 12 pack that night and bring back to the hotel and drink folks.

Speaker: I'm telling you. Well, well, well, she said she's our resident alcoholic. I had, I had, we both had a few, you know what, there's no sugar cutting it or no blame. We both had a few drinks. We both had a few drinks, but I know she was really feeling it Saturday night and

Speaker: we came back to the hotel. She got in a tub and and we didn't realize it but we had a jacuzzi tub in the bath and the hotel. She got in that bath boy. I proceeded to drink eight of the twelve uh aforementioned sixty dollar twelve pack because you could buy beer to to go at the bar but you paid bar prices. I was still thirsty and there were you

Speaker: there was no place close to get beer from or it might've been too late to get beer. So I should have paid $75 for a goddamn jelly roll hoodie and called it a night. Yeah. FBI open up.

Speaker: Yeah, it was, it was, it was $60 for 12 beers. Well, 55. And that was what tip, that was what tip our bartender. She was super cool. This chick was so goddamn adorable. I didn't want anything sexual to do with her. I just wanted to bring her home and keep her forever.

Speaker: Yeah. She was so adorable. I just want to hang out. I don't want to fuck you, but I want to, I want to be your friend. It is a lot for the U S it is a lot for anywhere. $60 for a 12 pack is a lot for you. When you buy it from the bar, you have to pay the bar prices, which are three 25 a bottle or three 75 a bottle or whatever it is. So like I said, she,

Speaker: came back on the jacuzzi tub. I proceeded to drink 8 of my $60 12. And the next day she was, I was good. Like I felt good. I got up. We went, we went back, we went back to. No, but we've all met that chick.

Speaker: I mean, and if I was single, I'd be totally in, but, but I'm not single. I just want to be able to think if I was single, like, I think both Nikki and I would agree. I think you can remember what she looked like. Neither one of us would have been mad to see what she looked like. But she was just super cool. She was, she was, yeah, nothing. I wasn't like, I wasn't like watching her. I'm not going to make it.

Speaker: You know, she was just really cool. She was she was a cool chick. I thought she would be like somebody cool to be a friend with but you never heard of a podcast, right? Hey, wow. The host of a podcast. I know.

Speaker: You like podcasts? I host a podcast. Anyways, um, so, you know, we got up Sunday, we went and ate and of course, and that was the other thing we thought because.

Speaker: I get a burger and fries, have a couple of glasses of water about new Nikki gets a waffle and cinnamon bun and a bloody Mary. And I'm just like, that's probably not going to set a lot of sugar. Yeah. Both thought, well, maybe, you know, the food wasn't sitting right. The bloody Mary wasn't setting right. That's why she was feeling so bad.

Speaker: But as the week has progressed, she, she caught something they, whether it be the flu or stomach bug or, or something, but she's been at 22 I had. No, you feel Jeff, uh, ghost, you're on Jeff's way. When can you go to the preschool to pick up women?

Speaker: This one was well over age. She was a bartender. My wife, when I met her, I both agreed that we wanted to bring her home and keep her. I didn't get married to my wife when she was 10. My wife was 18 when I met her. Calm down.

Speaker: She was **** well when you met her on a good day. and you were thirty -five. We put together 11 years. She's thirty. Are you sure? Yes, you are. She just had her thirtieth birthday this year. She's been like five different ages since we started this

Speaker: She was twenty six and she was thirty then she was thirty three and then she was twenty four. You know, like it's twenty twenty twenty. She's thirty. Yes. I didn't do the math. I'm just. Thanks. That's a son of a bitch. You should have killed that kid. Yeah.

Speaker: stuck him in your basement and and then lock her in a cave. I'm going to sign. Yeah, it's only a couple of years. Maybe you'll be alright. Throw in a **** well. It worked for a while Bill. We hear nonsensical nonsense. Do not promote pedophilia unless it's

Speaker: his wife who she who he met and impregnated by the time she was eleven but I don't promote that. He does. I don't but yeah. She was a teen mom before teen mom was even a thing on MTV. She's like, I'm twelve and a half in pregnant with my second baby. That's how we do in Mexico.

Speaker: tacos and margaritas. There's nothing wrong with tacos and margaritas. I mean. I apologize. I apologize. I was wrong. She's she's thirty -one. My wife was born in 1992. Was she though? She what? Oh my Jesus. Oh my god. I'm gonna give Jeff a ****

Speaker: I've seen in a total recall when I was Schwarzenegger didn't have his helmet on or something. It was like, that's what I'm going for for you right now. Jeff's like, wait, shit. She said she was 18, but was she really 12? This bitch is what? She's 20 foot.

Speaker: Hold on a second. Kevin's 11, 10, 100 minus five. This bitch was only 14. You know what they say, Jeff, holding up the bleed, holding up the breath, grass on field. See, you see?

Speaker: I walked him into that. He he agreed to it. I just get out of here. What are you doing here tonight? Yeah. Yeah. You think you're going to bring some fucking wine coolers and pizza? I think it's just going to talk about the dangers of meeting strangers online. Were you? What's this bag full of condoms? That is one part that I will admit I did not meet my wife online. No, she was standing on the corner outside of a hotel.

Speaker: surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise

Speaker: I gave her animal crackers and tucked her in for nap time. She told me she loved me 3000.

Speaker: I met her at the hotel zone outside on the sidewalk. And she said, you're super cute. And he was like, yeah, you're super cute too. And they went and had a couple margaritas on the beach. And she was like, I'm going to give you a surprise tonight. And Jeff's like, I got a little surprise for you. Little did he know when he looked at her skirt, there was a goddamn third leg under there. Yeah, I guarantee you that was not true. She was like, yeah, well, fuck it. We made it this far.

Speaker: I'll try anything once, I guess. I wrestled a bear last week. I used to be married to a Sasquatch. I think I can handle this. There's no hair. Jesus.

Speaker: I'm sorry. I've never seen a hairless slum before. If you can't beat them, fuck them, or fuck them, man. I don't know. Hey. Better pattern. Get at them. Better pattern. Get at her. If you do what you love, you'll never work a day in your life.

Speaker: Japanese lady boy wife. So, did she go to the dock? Or is she she googling her symptoms? Unfortunately, her insurance is no good here in Ohio. So, she's she's definitely not I don't she might be partially

Speaker: However, she did not go to WebMD because well, she might have that's probably why she's dying. I have a testicle. So one of the things we one of the things we do at my job is we actually we actually sell health insurance. Checker.

Speaker: Always, always check the ID. But I was talking to a co -worker today. And Jeff raised the idea as a preschool registration. Hey, you can write your name. That's all I heard about. That's what I like. Six regular names. But these are jokes, people.

Speaker: Yes, it's a dick. It's a joke, not a dick. Don't think it's so hard. Yeah, these are jokes. This is not literal. It's fucking... That's why we're here. We're a funny podcast. That's higher. Pedophilia is not funny, sir. Shut up, Karen. A little funny. I'm gonna pillow fill my foot up your ass. Is there a subject that you and I could not make funny, honestly?

Speaker: Well, just because it's funny to us doesn't mean it's funny to everybody. Let's be honest. I don't think there's a subject that we could not make fun of. I don't think I could make fun of the Holocaust. I mean, Tony, I still have that fucking swing set in our head. I don't think I could make fun of the Holocaust. Oh, I could.

Speaker: I mean, I could, but I could, but I won't. I mean, I got jokes. It's Nazi, Jeff. I got jokes. Believe it or not, you know who really loves those jokes? It's Vera's husband. Vera's husband.

Speaker: They're both very, very, very, very Jewish. You have to be either woke, ignorant, or severely damaged to not understand these. I exactly, well, you should probably be, most people who get this stuff and enjoy this show are severely damaged. Let's be honest. Let's be honest. Basically mentally retarded. Oh, can't say the R word. Let's be honest. Let's be honest. We do kind of attract the, uh, slightly off

Speaker: We are kind of the joker of podcasts. Ooh. We kind of are. Right? We attract the mentally ill. And they're just like, they are our leader and we will follow. They said, hello. What you call me? I think we really, we really, we really are kind of, yeah, yeah, yeah. And let's.

Speaker: Let's be honest. We are the Heath Ledger of Joker's because everybody and and and give me a chance to explain it. Everybody that was helping him were mentally ill. Ghost flu, you don't have to apologize for being mentally ill. We're mentally ill. We're part we're we're we're kindred spirits. We wrote the book on this.

Speaker: You're so kind to me when I tell you that I'm mentally ill. I don't, fuck you in your mental illness before you say it. Fuck you loser. Fuck you guys in your mental illness. I'm mentally ill. It was your mother last night. And you've never seen letter kitty. So you're not getting a reference at all. Letter kitty is a character.

Speaker: And he's a hockey player and he goes in on Jonesy and Riley who are also hockey players. And he makes a lot of dirty. They don't like each other. No, they actually do like each other though. That's the thing. But he makes a lot of really derogatory statements towards their mom. Oh, I completely dropped the ball. I could have been like, fuck you ghost flu. I made your mom sound mentally retarded last night. Yeah. Oh man.

Speaker: Sorry, good disrespect towards your mom. I'm sure she's a lovely lady. She was last night. Every time we make it, we do it on purpose. We make it like intentionally lame as your mom jokes. And our response always to each other, whatever one of the other one does it. My mother's a saint, you whore. I'm sorry. Mike still takes the cake.

Speaker: She was like,

Speaker: Mike wins because he was afraid to tell mom jokes. He doesn't know you're an orphan. He still pulled that card. I pulled that card here at the house because the kids have started doing like everything comes back with a your mom joke. And I think I was doing it earlier today or last night. I was like, you really shouldn't make your mom jokes because my parents died and I grew up in an orphanage. Nicky was like, no, you did not.

Speaker: Unfortunately, I've met your dad and every time I drive the car, your mom hits me in the ankles. I said, yeah, because my mom died when I was a small child, a small Sasquatch. And my dad is my adopted parents who brought me home from the orphanage when in all honesty, they would have just should have just left me in the orphanage. I would have had a much better life than I would have just living with them.

Speaker: And she was like, you did not grow up in an orphanage and your parents did not die. I'm like, well, how do you know? You don't know my life. I don't know. Lots of fights. I don't know. I ain't talked to him since January. Speaking of parents. My adopted parents who rescued me.

Speaker: rescued me from the orphanage. I haven't talked to you since January, so I don't know. I'm assuming they're okay. I heard they're moving to Arizona. I don't know how that's going to work out. Hopefully it works out for him this time. Didn't work out last time. That sounds like a lot. I don't know. What do you mean? Like, what do you mean? What do you mean a lot of fights?

Speaker: Oh, the bars? Not all bars. I mean, I wouldn't say a lot of. You know, I've been to a lot of bars, probably not as much as Chris, but I've never been witness to a bar fight. Thank you, Jeff. Last night. Let's go to my tab. My tab.

Speaker: I'm getting good at these shorts. The insults. So I just I had to be done. It had to be done. Oh, Jesus. I think I gotta be honest with you, ghost. It depends on the area, what bars you're going to, and every state has their areas, you know,

Speaker: Nikki and I've gone to a few bars in her areas for the most part, they're fun, good time, you know, stuff like that. Most of the bars in my area, super fun, good time. When I was bouncing and stuff like that, we would have our instances and stuff like that. But for the most part, um, not a lot of fights, not a lot of problems. You just, for me as a bouncer, you just have to be able to

Speaker: spot an issue when it comes in and be able to lock in on it and kill it before it happens. You know what I mean? So you kind of calm them before the storm and then, you know, the storm goes away. So, but at the end of the day, it depends on the area, location. It's all location, location, location.

Speaker: I would definitely, if you could watch the letter, if you can watch letter Kenny out there, it's on here in the States. I don't know if you get Hulu out there, but if you do, and it's on there, I would recommend watching it. It's a show, dude. It's, it's a small town in Canada, in Ontario, Canada. And it's like, there's 5 ,000 people. The only problem with it is that it's set in Canada. Well, I don't even have a problem with that. Every show starts with there's.

Speaker: 5 ,000 people in the town of litter Kenny, and these are their problems. And the main characters are fucking, you know, you got the Hicks, which is the main character Wayne and his two best friends, Darryl and Squirrely Dan and his, and his younger sister. And then you got the skids, which are like, you got the hockey players and then he got their cast of characters, like,

Speaker: joint boy and um one thing uh tyson and and gaylor who owns the modines which is burnt down twice and there's modines and then modines two and modines three and then mennonites they got the mennonites and uh and next bonnie mcmurry that's a line from the show not me

Speaker: So So we we talked earlier about the video I think it kind of is a side quest to GTA Yeah, I Think I think for the most part, you know for the most part of the states Despite what you see on the news and what you see on TV and stuff like that Most people are pretty friendly over here, man, you know, especially like I've never had a okay

Speaker: I haven't lived in the States in 22 years, but I've never, I've never had a major problem. Yeah. Anybody outside of the stupid shit that you like, you know, you're a teenager, you hate the world and you want to fight everybody. We all went through that state. Well, I mean, like for instance, we went to, yeah, we went to like, you're pointing the wrong way numb nuts. No, not according to my kingdom. Yeah, there you go.

Speaker: Don't go. Uh, no, we went to that jelly roll concert, 20 ,000 people, by the way, at this jelly roll concert, completely sold out. Everybody that was around us was super cool. There was one, some, there was one like six, 60, 70 year old man that was trying to yell at people. And I almost thought about kicking him out of his fucking chair. Uh, but I didn't.

Speaker: But once again, you always have that you always have that one guy. Well, like everybody around us was super cool. There was a couple of girls who who were trying to get through and Nicki wound up talking to him and they just wound up hanging out with us for like the majority of the concert. And then this was this was the coolest thing. This was the kicker. 20 ,000 people, Jeff. So I think El King was on stage in this couple show beside us, right?

Speaker: We get to talk and we're shooting the shit. We're having, you know, Nikki's talking to, we're, we're all four kinds of talking and whatnot. Just friendly conversation. We don't know each other from Adam. And we were talking about the good old days of like Polaris amphitheater, which was in Columbia and the other thing. And the guy asked me, he said, so where are you from? And I said, yeah, well, you probably never heard of, but I'm from there. And he was like, no fucking way. Shut up. Yeah.

Speaker: They're from right down the goddamn road. Fuck me. 20 ,000 goddamn people at the concert and Nikki and I meet two people from fucking there, right down the road, right? To which, you know, she winds up getting his wife or his girlfriend. I don't know if they were married or whatever. Number and eight exchange text messages and stuff like that. Bill has talking. They're going to Jason Aldean too, like we are. There are only a few sections away from us.

Speaker: Nice. Yeah. So it was just like, how fucking crazy is that out of all these people here, we wind up standing beside and hanging out and making friends with two people from fucking Newark. We're three hour, two and a half hours away from home. And the two people that we start to really talk to and conversate with are literally from right down the road. But I mean, that's, that's kind of a scene that you and I both do.

Speaker: Oh, yeah. If we're in a, we're in a situation where there's bus people, we're going to find somebody to hang out with. You know what I mean? Well, yeah, that's me. And I think that's one thing with me, you know, cause when I get, when I, when I was going to visit her and even when we go back home, um, there's a lot, uh, there's not being able to handle your drink then. And yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I think. Yeah, you'll get that everywhere in the world. I've been around the world twice.

Speaker: you'll always find some asshole that can't handle history. You can't handle their drink and the fuckers. Oh, I do I do it every day. All my neighbors call me all my neighbors call me cash is that I mean, I like literally I just got brand new neighbors right next door. And Monday night after I ended the show, I was Monday night after I ended the show, I took took a dog out, took shoes out for

Speaker: for her nightly walk before we went to bed. And my neighbor was outside and she ran up to him. I didn't even see him. I was piddly fucking around on my phone looking at fantasy football. And I was like, Oh God. And then I looked up and I was like, Oh Ray, you just moved in. I got to talk to him and we'll show it. I've always been super friendly with my neighbors. Jeff's the complete polar opposite. He hates people, but you know, so, so across, across from me,

Speaker: couple moved in there. They're in their 50s. And she's actually from I think she's from North Carolina. Oh, nice. And, you know, her I sat there and talked about the ship for like three hours the other day. Because well, she obviously she's new in town. They're renting the house across the street.

Speaker: And they, uh, she was like, Hey, I have a question. Um, she wanted to know where to, there was a, there's a certain store where you can get Western union money. You know, if someone Western union money, somebody owed her money and was Western union to her. And she's like, where's the Western union? I said, well, actually there's a store here called Electra. And at Electra they have, every Electra in Mexico has a Western union office in it. Uh, it's part of their brand.

Speaker: And I was like, Oh, there's an electric right here. I kind of showed told her how to get there. And, you know, she's like, Oh, wow. Your English is really good. I was like, yeah, you know, I'm Ohio. I mean, and she's like, Oh, Carolina, because Jeff's not from North Florida anymore. He was going from North Florida. Um, but he's been down in Mexico for 20 some odd years. Yeah. I've been hanging with the worms in Mexico.

Speaker: does. But Jeff and I, my wife is from here. My wife is from here. Um, and yeah, Jeff working at the preschool down there and she was a student. Second day of preschool, they shared an apple juice and drinking age. It was just a suggestion. Second day of preschool day locked eyes. They shared apple juice and animal crackers together.

Speaker: Yeah, it was love at first giraffe. Well, okay. So yeah, it, because I've lived here so long, I have, we have gardeners that they do maintenance on the entire property. We live in a gated community of 63 houses and the guy was out there cutting the grass and he was asking me.

Speaker: You know, do you want me to do the backyard? And I was telling him, of course, in Spanish. I said, no, don't worry about it. You know, there's not a whole lot of grass back there. How did you say it in Spanish? I said what I said in English. And then I said, say it in Spanish. I said, no, no.

Speaker: Pasta pasta pasta Pasta is actually means crash pasta means spaghetti No There's so many words that literally one of the first things my wife

Speaker: that I thought was one thing, and I was like, that sounds awesome. I'd love to go eat that. And she's like, my wife was saying something about pasta. Spaghetti go. Hey, Jeff, how do you say black? It's actually. Can you pronounce it properly? No. It's nay.

Speaker: No, it's it's it's yeah, so there's an A. Yeah. Well, I didn't want to say the rest of it, but no, I learned that because I have Mexican sisters. Yeah, you do. I'm telling you, when your sister, I'd have been like this. My sister, you still could have because she'd have been right up your alley.

Speaker: Trust me everybody else took a door up took a turn on that door. I was gonna be mad at you Worse I guess living here so long Spanish is super easy I'm actually worried about my French my French is shit

Speaker: I still can't say the phrase for fucking Moulin Rouge. I'm just saying.

Speaker: Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

Speaker: If I speak English, figure it out. I'm going to yell in English, duh. He says, he says, are you going to get alert? Are you going to learn French? I said, eventually, yes. Just like I did Spanish. I said, but for the first year, I'm going to sound like Joey Tribbian. Because that literally I have, I follow a couple of people that that teach French phrases.

Speaker: on Tiktok. He said he's the one four five times yesterday. He said, he said, oh, fuck. I lost my head. It sounded so good. Completely went away. I'm going to just I'm going to roll up in France like that deal. Fucking few and call it a day. That's called grape, sir.

Speaker: No, it's not. It's it's very grapey of you. It's just creepy. It's creepy. It's okay. But it's France. Yeah. No, I don't correlate France with grapey considering the fact that they were literally getting raped by the Germans not once but in world wars. The only problem I'm going to have is when your ass comes and visits me.

Speaker: When I fly your ass out there, we're going to get drunk and we're going to walk through the streets going, it's been running for us. You fucking with me. I'm going to be rocking a fucking American flag, t -shirt, American flag, fucking, you know, remember them Zuba pants? Remember, uh, yeah. You think it was a round kick. Would we wear these bad boys? Yeah.

Speaker: You fucking French is gonna be kissing my feet because America came in and roundhouse kick Germany right in the mouth. Wasn't for me. Speaking German right now. French boy. French boy. Do you hear me, Frenchy? One of my friends, I pick on him all the time. He's in France. He lives in France. He comes here every once in a while. And here's where I met him. We actually used to work in the same place.

Speaker: Be like you can stay home

Speaker: common things you would see in France. And it was literally somebody walking their dog. But the dog was carrying a baguette in its mouth. Nice. And I was like, there's so much to say. He's like, don't fucking say a word. I mean, it's not a stereotype. It's true. I FaceTime my buddy the other day.

Speaker: And I'm like, Hey, what are you doing? He's like, not much. He's just up, just make myself snack. And he's like, let me see. He's got a bad guess in front of him. I was like, dude, what the fuck? He's like, what? It's fun. So I'm like, you guys just walk right into the stereotype, don't you? He's like, Oh, listen, he said, God damn ghost. It's just a fucking chair. Sit. Stop spinning your chair. Open your eyes. Get a glass of water.

Speaker: lay down on the bed, put one foot on the floor, believe it or not. That's the, that's number one solution. Isn't that the weirdest thing ever? Well, it gives you a sense of balance. I don't know, but the first time somebody told me that I was like, obviously I was drunk, but I was like, what the fuck? Water is for Yankee. Watch your fucking whore mouth. So are you Jeff. Shut up.

Speaker: All of a sudden, I've lived in Mexico for 20 years. I'm a conquistador. Shut up. I'm sorry. At the end of the day, I've lived in Mexico longer than I ever lived in the States. At the end of the day, all I have to say to you, Mexican, is remember the Alamo. I think you lost the Alamo. I wasn't here, you dirty Mexican. You never heard that news. But you lost the Alamo.

Speaker: book you mexican remember the lmo i uh i found that video and we were talking about it earlier shots fired no but we talked about this video

Speaker: And I've screen recorded it, so I have to play it.

Speaker: I do want to know where the hell he found a copy of Mein Kampf in 2023. In such good condition, no less. How he did he have it laying around? I mean, I got a copy when he was in the Nazi army. So that video has, has made the rounds a lot. It's been on every platform one way or another.

Speaker: but the first time every time i see it holy shit he says it's minecraft he's like yeah minecraft he says no minecraft minecraft you idiot he says minecraft but it sounds like he calls him an idiot

Speaker: I'm pretty sure he calls him an idiot. Where did you find this? Look at the subtitles. He calls me dad. It doesn't sound like an idiot.

Speaker: But he's like, Minecraft, dad. He says, no, dad. Minecraft. He says, yeah, minecraft. I'm just saying. Is it bad that I want to do that to my kid? Jeff, I say that. I say the land of where they don't destroy them.

Speaker: Jeff, I say this as a friend. I say this because I love you. Uh, you're already on an awful list. How about you stay off of that list and not, I wonder if you can get it in a Kindle belt on. Yes, I do. My Gucci. I can have my Gucci on.

Speaker: He lives in Mexico. So, it's Gucci. It's Gucci. He lives in Mexico. It's a Gucci. It's the **** things. Real Gucci. About the only thing Gucci I could afford, really. So, Jesus Christ. I mean, yeah, grandpa was pretty kind of calm, cool, and collective about the whole uh I mean, he was pretty

Speaker: He was pretty good. He was like, he wanted mine. I give what the kid was. What are you going to do? He's a tired. Hey, give him what he wants. Hey, forget about it. Forget about it. Forget about it. Forget about it.

Speaker: I had a meeting with a client.

Speaker: super thick Italian accent. And obviously he did not hold back. Obviously when I'm on a phone with a client, I'm as professional as possible, but it took everything I could not to laugh because not only did he say forget about it like nine times, but at one point he says, hold on one second.

Speaker: He turns to somebody, he's like, what am I? And I was like, Oh my gosh, I can never, cause you're, you have to be, I, I work, I work around VIPs, like my building, VIP. When, when you do what I do, you like, what I can do is I'm matching. So if somebody curses, I'll curse back.

Speaker: I don't care what you I don't care what your personality is or who you are. I'm just me I'm not I'm not walking up into like You know VIP of a worldwide company What up bitch, you know, but I'm also not pretending to be something I'm not When we're talking

Speaker: And that's, I think that's one of the things that like in my workplace that they like it on here. Well, yeah, I might be from Ohio, but, uh, for my job, I've got stupid rich people that I have to take care of and cater to. Oh, I get it. Maybe one, one day, one day.

Speaker: One dude is like 80. And when I see him in the morning, we literally dap each other up, bang, like fist bump, bat, bat, bat, ball, up, down, up, down. And then a little, you know, not a handshake, but the, you know, the fist bump, that, that. And then, and I'm like, that's not even me, but I mean, that's, he started it. So shit. That's what I'm saying.

Speaker: you didn't go up and instigate that. He did. I was like, you do the same thing I do. It's not like you're going to walk up to the CEO of every company like, what's up, dude? What's up, bro? It was like Monday, Monday morning. I seen him first thing Monday morning. I seen him. I was like, morning, Mr. Show. And so he's like, yeah, I said, Monday's already said fuck Mondays. I said, agreed. I drink to that. And he was like, you want to come back to my office? I was like,

Speaker: technically, technically, um, if I do drink, I have not allowed to, I have to go home. Uh, and, and, and it is Monday. I'm out. And I was like, and I was like, it's eight o 'clock in the morning and that fucking, I mean, I've learned from jump street.

Speaker: You're the boss around here. So you invite me at eight o 'clock on a Monday morning, except said drink in the morning. That's what I'm saying is like, you didn't instigate the fist pump with him. He instigated with you. So technically it's the same thing. If I get on a clock on the phone with a client and he's all proper and trim, I'm not going to really change my speed, but I'm not going to curse. I'm not going to be like, well pop, you know, or something like that. But like,

Speaker: If I get on the phone with a guy that owns a trucking company, yeah, I can pretty much say whatever I want. I speak African. I know you've seen.

Speaker: I know you want must win. I would love to fucking hang out with Elon Musk. That dude, like I won't get high, but you long to get high. He smoked weed once on Joe Rogan's podcast. Supposedly, you know, he's, you know, that's a goddamn lie. I've only drank beer once and that was tonight. It's first time I've ever drank beer tonight in my entire life.

Speaker: And I've had more than 12. First time ever. I'm looking out for the lightning. That was the first time Elon Musk ever smoked weed in his life. This is the first time I've ever drank. He did take to it kind of easily. I think it would be quite a cold to hang out with him.

Speaker: like I would definitely want to hang out with him as opposed to up on what I said ghost. Well, clearly you're not African. You're a fucking stolen barrel. Stolen goddamn baller. Goes flu. Now, not even African. What part of Africa are you? He's not African. Fucking liar. He's probably fucking London or some gay shit like that.

Speaker: probably drinking fucking piss -warm tea with no sugar and some fucking hard -ass bread. Okay, so South Africa. Yeah, he's white. Of course he's in South Africa. Jesus Christ. I mean, I was thinking it, but I didn't play it. See? See what I want.

Speaker: cancel you can't you can't fucking cancel me literally i was thinking it but i didn't you know my conscious i'm uncanceable as they said in lethal weapons too

Speaker: I'm too old for this shit. Believe it or not, I think Chris and I are pretty much safe anywhere we go. You put the two of us in a room together, we can take over a country. We're just going to make friends with everybody at the end of the day. Nikki's seen me like

Speaker: just befriended an entire goddamn bar to the point where I don't know these people. I can't remember any of their fucking names, but like there's someone. Oh, I was going to kidnap. He was a perfect mini click. You've seen the pictures, Jeff. I rest my case, your honor. He was short. He was first and foremost, you can't kidnap the Willie. He wanted to come home with me.

Speaker: He said I could put him in my suitcase. I didn't have to put him in my suitcase to bring him home with me. I could just leave him in the back seat, but he was like, I'll get your suitcase. He was smaller than you, dude. And he was like, I would definitely be mini -glick and fucking fun Nazi, living my best life Nazi back there so that I couldn't bring him home. I'm just trying to live my best life with a mini -glick. I'm drinking 12, I'm drinking 16 hours.

Speaker: I'm drinking 16 ounce pounders. He's got eight ounce mini beers sitting on my lap doing the podcast together. He's already had a beer. I love how eight ounces is small. It's half of what I drink. He's half my size. What are you kidding, Ross?

Speaker: Again, raging alcoholic, 16 ounce beers. If I get a mini lick, I cut my beers in half and I give him eight ounces because he's half my size. He was, and he was drinking beer for beer with me that night. That was such a cool kid. Her son went out of that bar. Huh?

Speaker: I would have floated out of that bar if I'd have gone to drink for a drink with you. Oh yeah, you can't drink with Nikki and I. I got to give her props. She can, she can, she can pound them just as much as you from my understanding. I ain't never, I ain't never met a woman in my life. Now I've met a lot of women in my life who swear up and down. You've been engaged to most of them. I've only been engaged three times in my life.

Speaker: And one time I married that said engagement and we were together for 17 years. It wasn't my fault. It was my fault that I ignored a lot of red flags.

Speaker: Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second

Speaker: just the kind of mindset you want to do as getting engaged. Like a weak quote unquote official she was talking about getting engaged and then because yeah let's be honest as we discovered and and as as i started shut up ghost i thought we were friends

Speaker: As as time progressed and when everything went down, I found out way too late that basically she collects engagements like baseball cards. This is true. She's the only person that could out eat me. Bitch was bitch was 10, 11 years younger than I was and and I've been engaged 47 times. And never married.

Speaker: And you never thought that was a red flag. I'm just saying. Yeah, let's be honest. I was in a weird place that I was ignoring a lot of red flags. I mean, Jeff, you know where I was. You know how, you know. I get it. You've been upset ever since we got divorced. I get it. Yeah.

Speaker: I can find another fucking Peter Dinklage, Lord of the Rings, hobbit -looking ass to love me, love me. Dude, here's the thing. Every time I see the meme of Frodo looking at the ring and it says, find your man that looks at you like he looks at this ring, I cry a little bit inside because I said, I get that. Yeah, see? For a time. The name of New Mexico.

Speaker: No, he's just a compliment. That was the deal breaker. You remember the Alamo? No. You and I, you and I, we're going to make millions of dollars, okay? And we're going to remake the movie Twin. Okay. I mean, you as the Schwarzenegger character, obviously, can be a big deal. And Bobby and Danny DeVito.

Speaker: Ofa's right. Intolerable. Intolerable cruelty. That's not the name of that goddamn movie. What is that name of that movie? He said Intolerable Cruelty. Intolerable Cruelty. Cruelty. Intolerable Cruelty. Intolerable Cruelty. Intolerable Cruelty.

Speaker: Isn't that what I'm doing to Julie? I was thinking of Cruel Intentions, maybe totally different movie. She would get to make them not bring up a prenup. Yeah, no, my ex -fiance, she never got married to like a bazillion fucking

Speaker: Engagements, okay, that's what that movie is with Katherine Zeta -Jones and George Clooney. George Clooney's got these weird teeth. Never heard of it. Never seen a movie. Could not get through it. No my ex -fiance basically what and this is what I found out You know a dollar a dollar shorter day too late Relationships were

Speaker: for her where social media statuses. Yeah. So she should get into a relationship and engage and then post the video of getting engaged. And then she would, she would get into a relationship, post all over social media. And it was only cool while people were giving her attention. And once the attention started to fade out, then it was all on to the next step. And that's the engagement.

Speaker: You can get all the attention, all the attention, all the attention, all the attention. Well, long distance bullshit, little did I know she was fucking her customers. To which she wound up leaving me for the wish version of myself. And I didn't say that. Some other people said that.

Speaker: There's quite a few thousand people who said that. And to which, I don't know if they're still together or not, but. Who the fuck cares? Yeah, who the fuck cares? Because I ate the fucking girlfriend lottery.

Speaker: It took me a couple of tries, but you know, I had the girlfriend lottery and now my fiance and, you know, now I got somebody that I'm actually, I actually have a real partner in life for the first time ever. And we have a lot of the same terrible habits and we enjoy being around each other and we make each other laugh. And neither one of us are afraid of being who we are around each other. So, you know, at the end of the day, I win. Like Nicki Minaj says,

Speaker: I win, you lose. That was a TikTok. Fucking far your worst impression ever. Fucking is better than that.

Speaker: I'm just saying, I'm just saying you got a Nicki Minaj quote and Nicki Minaj impersonation all at the same time, Jeff. Take it. That's a win. Good. Big ass Sasquatch. All right. First and foremost, you can't judge me too harshly. I'm a Sasquatch doing a Nicki Minaj impersonation and nailing the quote and nailing the quote. It wasn't that hard.

Speaker: I'm just saying. I can actually stumble across that quote and get it right. Unfortunately, a lot of women these days and men these days, relationships are, are, their statuses. And it's all about getting likes and clicks and stuff like that. Um,

Speaker: You know, uh, it's, it's funny you mentioned, you know, you know what golf, I've been through hell and back when it, when it comes to terms with relationships, not only have I, but so is, so, so is my fiance, my future wife. Um, we've both been that through hell and back when it's come to relationships and, you know, and, you know, let's be honest.

Speaker: She was there But As I stated when she brought it up you had to go there because you guys weren't ready well We've had that conversation where

Speaker: Both of us had, you know, let's call a spade a spade. Let's be honest. We both had one more mistake to make before we were ready. And, and, and, and we both went down that road and, and when the time was right. And when, you know, I was in a weird spot and I was live one night and she popped up and as soon as she popped up, I.

Speaker: I don't even I was I was having a hell of a night. I was having a ball man. I was I had You know kind of kind of sound like Jeff firm and I had a shit ton of fucking women that were in my life on tiktok flirting and having fun and hitting on me and We were talking about in my life like, you know

Speaker: a little horror activity if you will. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You don't want to date me. That was that was your whoring around moment. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then he popped up in my life and none ain't none of them. None of them even existed. So, it was like, look, she was there. Let's let's be honest. I am the I am a giant man or I used to be.

Speaker: You know, shoot when she when she popped back up. It was game over and it was like I gotta I gotta shoot my shot this time. I can't be afraid of anything and. Either she's in or she's not and she still had the same feelings that were that I had back when we were originally talking and we both wanted to give it a go and. Here we are. Yeah, yeah, I still maintain shoes dropped on our head as a child.

Speaker: Oh, she was absolutely dropped on her head as a child multiple times. She's legally blind. She says he has racist, but I still say she needs to get her money back. But I mean, it's a very similar thing. My wife is poor. My wife.

Speaker: No, no disrespect to Chris, but, but as, as, as Nikki posted today on Facebook or yesterday, I guess, or the other day, uh, she's met her best friend and she's marrying her best friend. Uh, similar story. I married my best friend. Well, she had to go find new best friends and friends.

Speaker: I'm tired of this and I feel her pain because after 25 years, trust me, I'm tired of you being my best friend too. Unfortunately for my wife, she never met Chris until we started the podcast years after my wife were married, my wife and I were married. I feel like your wife and I have something in common. We're both tired of you being our best friend.

Speaker: We both feel like we can do so much better. But you don't. That's your problem. Yeah. Because you're like a goddamn STD man. You're like fucking herpes. Once again, Chris is right and died. Absolutely. Yeah. And that's the same for you, for me. I have an idea. Jeff, I have an idea. I'm in. Who's car are we going to take?

Speaker: The only problem is is now I say, Jeff has an idea. Nicky goes, no. Yeah. Yeah. Believe it or not. My life. No. No. No. I don't listen to her. No, I don't either. I go, you're right. You're right.

Speaker: I shouldn't listen. I shouldn't go along. Jeff, what's the idea? I'm telling her I'm going to go pick up the mail. I'm out of beer. I have to go get milk. No, I'm not on the phone with Jeff. I'm talking to Kroger's. I'm asking him to get my beer. You guys got beer, right? Yeah, I gotta be joined.

Speaker: So, uh, have you ever heard of the Sherpa ghost floof? Have you ever heard of the Sherpa vehicle? There's a vehicle called a Sherpa cars. And it is a, an off -road vehicle that, um, is supposedly on, it's unable to get stuck. I found one.

Speaker: only 10 grand used so I'm kind of like I got an idea Chris when we when I moved to France I'm gonna buy one of these shirts bear with me I'll find a picture it's called a so it's it's technically an ATV

Speaker: And I'm trying to find a decent picture. So brand new, they're very expensive. But 10 grand, sir. Supposedly we'll go anywhere and float.

Speaker: why do you do this to me baby here tell me we can't do don't know it's my great yard after like 15 years of somebody's room is spinning on the other than ghost

Speaker: Let's talk about buttered sausage. Talk about buttered sausage, where it comes from, what it does. Why is it doing what it's doing? Get it out of my face. What about buttered sausage? That's not your jam. It's not your thing. You don't like it? It's not my jam. I don't buy jam. I buy honey and I kiss it on the lips.

Speaker: Are you guys still yelling? I'm trying to cover up your conversation with videos, by the way. Tell Chad next time I see him on throat punching. Chad? Yeah, he's a fucking chat. I thought that at Barb's Richard party. He's a fucking chat. He's a fucking chat. And we don't know what a chat is. I know what a chat is, but we may look at the camera. Yeah, no, no, no, no.

Speaker: Chat, frat boy chat. Every girl's into him. Doesn't want to settle down. Blah, blah, blah. Party guy. Yeah, he's a fucking chat. That's not cool. No flying at him. Send him a gift for a referee throwing a flag. Hit him with a flag.

Speaker: Fucking old boss from We'll talk about dudes gonna talk about a fucking dude that falling for the wrong chick This can't own his own as bar that married this chick who played him like a bitch and he had to sell his own bar Means that were like sexual in the windows that are in the window to the wall There's a Chad

Speaker: Uh, uh, that pertain to her. I was like, you know, like he was like, did you get an office job? And then the meme was a picture of a chick. She's a fucking bartender. Why would she get an office job? So fucking weird, you goofy ass Chad.

Speaker: to the sweat drop down my mouth. I don't even get this crowd. I'll chase you motherfucker. How many beers have you had? How many beers have you had? How many beers have you had? How many beers have you had? How many beers have you had? How many beers have you had? How many beers have you had? How many beers have you had? How many beers have you had? How many beers have you had? How many beers have you had? How many beers have you had? How many beers have you had? How many beers have you had? How many beers have you had? How many beers have you had? How many beers have you had? How many beers have you had? How many beers have you had? How many beers have you had? How many beers have you had? How many beers have you had? How many beers have you had? How many beers have you had? How many beers have you had? How many beers have you had? How many beers have you had? How many beers have you had? How many beers have

Speaker: You can taste the sauce. Shut it. I was like, yeah, there you go. How many have I had? Two, four, six, eight, 10, 10, 10, 16 ounces. Normal's 12. Wait, when did Senator Bullock sing that song? That's what I want to know.

Speaker: Because I need to see this video. I'm just saying. I mean, Google to the rescue. I've had, um, four, eight, I've had the equivalent of, uh, well, 13 and a third beers as well as the equivalent of what I've had.

Speaker: Oh, okay. So in the moment of the proposal, Sandra Bullock sings that song. Was that with Ryan Reynolds? Yeah, that's with Ryan Reynolds, Betty White, the whole nine yards. No, that's a totally different movie. That had Chandler from Friends, the whole nine yards. Yeah, I'm good at this. I'm good at this shit.

Speaker: I like Chandler. I hate to be that guy. I'm a full of Tony. Chandler and friends. I did like Chandler. I thought he was great. He was my favorite character. I like Chandler and Ross and Phoebe. Oh my god, I love Phoebe. She was so goddamn adorable. I've never been a fan of Phoebe. I love Phoebe. I just want to bring her home and keep her. I love Phoebe. Stinky cat.

Speaker: Smell it. Oh my god stinky smelly same fucking thing But can you sing the song no, I Also really like the song from Bazinga what is that goddamn show? Yeah

Speaker: so okay so uh for for our viewing place things i do oh anyways what are we doing here we go check it out how many of you can hear it

Speaker: I can't hear shit. No? No. How does Tony do it? I don't fucking know. Just looking up on... Fucking... Oh, God. I think it's because I'm in a different window. Let me bring it up here. Just looking up on TikTok and save it. Yeah.

Speaker: I should be, I actually should be not be on here right now and not, it'll work tomorrow. Don't we all know? I mean, check my calendar for tomorrow. What do I got? Holy fuck. One, two, three, four, five. I have 12 meetings tomorrow. Like back to back from 9 AM until four.

Speaker: Sandra Bullock will be the last thing for the show tonight and we do get it. We do got to wrap this bad boy up because I'm gonna make me something to eat And I'm gonna come and die Sound of this way Yeah, I gotta get up in like six hours

Speaker: Here we go. Now you. Be what? Chat. Chat what? Chat. I don't know any chats. To the trees. Use your vowels.

Speaker: Ooh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes

Speaker: Don't forget to like and subscribe!

Speaker: Let's take it to the bridge. Whoo. Let me see you get low. You scared. You scared. Drop your ass to the floor. You scared. You scared. Let me see you get low. You scared. You scared. Drop your ass to the floor. You scared. You scared. You scared. See you get low. You scared. You scared. No, you scared. You scared. Stop. Whoo. Now, wheel it. Stop. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo. Wh

Speaker: I did too. I haven't seen that movie in a while. I need to see if I can find it on my streaming service. I don't think I've seen that movie since it came out. I think I've only seen it once. But it is, it is a funny movie. I'll give it that. Do you love me some Sandra B? I do too. Super hot. Yeah she is, jeez. I think I like a

Speaker: like uh just just uh just a girl next door. Yeah, she's going next door. She's she's like she's the kind of chick that you know, you can just kind of talk. She's uh in the streets but a freaking sheets, you know what I mean? Yeah, I bet you. I bet you anything. Sucks up my Harley.

Speaker: I bet you see you better shut your fucking mouth. What the fuck is my TV remote? Christiana Anderson is the same thing for me. I like, like her. I just agreed. But like, they also make good movies. You know, it's not just about the fact that they're hot.

Speaker: That would have been an awesome Hollywood power couple. You know, have you heard the story about Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock? No. So they both made speed together. They each had a crush on each other and were too chicken shit to fucking ask the other one. Keanu.

Speaker: I'm just saying missed opportunity for both because that would have been our generations. Travis Kelsey. After speed, they both admitted that they were in love with each other, but they never acted on it.

Speaker: Fucking lame. Oh speaking of speaking of a poo say Fuck you Keanu I've never been I've never been disappointed in Keanu before until I heard that story pussy would have shot that shot Yeah, I would have well, I think I think it all comes down to

Speaker: Keanu Reeves is a nice guy. You know, he's not that, he's, he's not going to try to bang everything you see. He's not even about banging everything you see, Sandra Bullock is the nice girl. She's a good girl. Nice guy. Good girl. Yeah. I'm just saying. Agree. The dude just had to pick a litter. Even now, I guarantee you. Keanu's a twat.

Speaker: Don't call him a track track You fucking drop the ball you son of a bitch Fuck you counter. He's just you taking the red pill Hey fucking people There's a fucking weird nerd hacker Hey, John wick hoser fucking stolen valor

Speaker: Oh, you're supposed to make a like I'm going to believe that you're going to kill all these people in Russia and you wouldn't even shoot your shot with Sandra Bullock. He wasn't in Russia pussy. He wasn't in Russia. Whatever. He's a pussy. Kind of raised a pussy. He should be on my porch drinking beer when I throw empty beer cans. I just said.

Speaker: I have a distinct feeling much like me trying to kick Tom Cruise's ass and get your ass in. Well, whatever Keanu. Do you think you could take Keanu in a fight? Mr. I want to fight a bear. Oh, listen here, Keanu Reeves. I have one question to ask you every day. So the devil and the pale moonlight. I'm trying to put my money on Keanu. Put my money on Keanu.

Speaker: I love you buddy. I know all five foot six of his little ass. I'll be shits bigger than him. Is he bigger than him or your shit is actually taller than him? Oh, I literally take shits bigger than him. Come on Keon. I'm going to be, Oh yeah. I'm going to be hard on him because he should have been hard on Sandra.

Speaker: Yeah, I see. You guys fucking saw that chocolate chip cookie kind of reuse ass. Pussy. Should have taken it. Remember when Jonesy and Riley went up to the senior class and boomstick. You should have taken your shot. Pussy.

Speaker: It's going to be the one episode. It's amazing to be like, you know, these like non talented. Nobody listens and watches their podcast. They were talking to all kinds of shit about you. What? You don't listen to it like. He's going to be in this chatters box Saturday night. Hey, Glick, where fuck you at in there? First and foremost, shut your mouth, Keanu.

Speaker: Fucking you're like a little pussycat key and peel made a whole movie about you Keanu Kind of fucking name is Keanu, but I just fucking name you Ken or Kevin Your parents had to be fucking different. We're from Wisconsin. Not Hawaii. Fuck you Keanu I'm part of my Shane Falco Jersey pussy

Speaker: Shane Falco is the greatest football player ever lived. You crossed the line, sir. Who was better? Joe or Johnny Utah. It doesn't matter. They both went to Ohio State. Which means they're not good quarterbacks. Which is why Shane Falco had to cross the scrub line because, oh, let's be honest. No, no.

Speaker: The only reason the only reason he stopped playing is because his team leaned on him He wasn't ready and he hurt his knee Sounds like a Buckeye excuse You know the Buckeyes don't do produce NFL quarterbacks And that's why you wear a scrub that's why you wear a scab That's why they fucking flipped your car upside down

Speaker: And I think he could have taken Swayze You watch your fucking whore mouth right now. Yeah, you watch your fucking whore mouth, sir I think you talk could take in Swayze. I don't know what she thought Chad met earlier. You're okay, baby? I don't know what she thought Chad met earlier. What do you think Chad met?

Speaker: I think she meant it like Karen or Kevin. Oh, yeah. She said Mel equivalent of a kind. First and foremost, if you ever. Take Tom Brady's name in vain again. Blasphemy, sir. Who the fuck took Tom Brady's name? You motherfucker. I said you.

Speaker: leave that beautiful that beautiful specimen man alone. Hey, I will mush Ryan Reynolds right in the goddamn face for Tom Brady any day of the week. Do you think Tom Brady actually got rubbed out by Ted or or bark? Well, you get rubbed out by me. Yeah, you can.

Speaker: Wait, what was the question? Sorry. So in Ted 2, Mark Wahlberg and Ted Hennigberg, right in the Tom Brady's house and trying to steal his permit. Which one do you think was going to have to do the rubbin? It was Mark Wahlberg, but I was a stand -in. Okay.

Speaker: I was, I was, you know, Mark Wahlberg and I have a similar physique, uh, you know, him being five, six and full of muscle and me being six two and Sasquatch built. I was Mark Wahlberg. All my streaming services that I have. I'm kind of pissed. What's that on there? The proposal.

Speaker: I'm like, are you five, six? I'm not five, six. Are you five, six? I'm six too. Jeff's four eight. I am five. Shut your whore mouth. Oh, door. Jeff is four eight and a half on a good day. He claims to be five, three.

Speaker: make me go in all crazy again. Remember Josie? Remember Josie? That little midget rapper from rock. You and your minis like, what are you, kid rock and fucking Josie? Three foot nine with a 10 foot dick. Yeah.

Speaker: Although I feel like mini liquid absolutely go the way of Josie because I feel like I think Josie is dead. I think he died of alcohol poisoning. I think so. That's why I got to get mini click eight ounce beers. No, I thought I thought how did Josie die? I don't know. It was alcohol poisoning. I don't think it was alcohol poisoning. Josie, how did he die?

Speaker: Why is that losing it? What did I do? What did I do? Why am I losing it? I don't think you're... Oh, he died of complications from celiac disease. He died from complications of too much alcohol in his system. I have to know what celiac disease is now. You know celiac disease is?

Speaker: What's up? It's an immune reaction to eating gluten. So technically an immune reaction to eating gluten protein found in wheat, barley, and rye.

Speaker: Validation. That's what we call validation. Intergalactical champion. You're half right. I'm all the way right. Plus Nicki said such a 48 ass up. She already said gluten. Before you do it, we ride drinking a bottle of nightfall.

Speaker: Um, is it wrong today? I don't know. It's not wrong today to check use four seven and six four. Does she have a flat head though? Yeah. Well, I fly ahead. Since a bear can on it. Your beer. No, I don't. And as long as both parties are

Speaker: Consenting and and legal there's no problem dating anybody fucking do it Well, as long as they're of age and they are consenting partners Jeffrey Said the guy who met his wife at the preschool forever apple juice and animal crackers

Speaker: I'm not going to do that. Do it. You pussy. Pussy. That's like Jeff won't slap his wife on the ass and tell her good game. It's a different culture. It's a different ****

Speaker: No, it's a lack of things of humor. Plus, I mean, in the end... It's a different sense of humor. Oh, let's be honest, Jeff. There's no good game when she's with you. I'll trust you, there is. She said, that's acceptable by Jean -Claude Pierre, but you can't get gave me. Cracker. Don't get gave me, Cracker.

Speaker: So I'm watching the proposal tonight. Oh, you know what? I'm going to watch the game is currently unavailable. So much for that idea.

Speaker: Okay. I already know the answer. Just curious. What weird answer you bozos would come up with. All right. Well, yeah. For example, my wife is taller than me. She's almost everybody is a dog installer. You better watch out for the dog. You can have sex with my dog. She's a dog, not a goat. Chupacabra.

Speaker: I love you, but I will shoot you actually no I won't I'm gonna say Alexa

Speaker: Intruder alert. Yeah. And all you're going to hear is wild horses. Goodbye, horses. I'm like, it's like a wedding, like Chris. He's trying to fuck your dog, like, what are you doing? E .T., you know what, you look like a, make him look like a lightning bug, E .T.

Speaker: We didn't do that story about the guy that tried to fuck that Rottweiler. It didn't end up too well for him. Yeah. I'm just saying, you know, you're trying to fuck my dog. I'm sick in my midget and alien friends that Nikki doesn't know that I have on you. He doesn't know that you have. Alexa, great mode.

Speaker: And I've got to go be the whole man. What's happening here? Julie Banjos. I know this song. Boy, you said you got to put a mouse. We're like a pig. Oh, I saw something. I got an idea, Chris. Oh, Jesus Christ.

Speaker: after this you know what I gotta I gotta I gotta know the details before I'm in because there is a new game there's a new game uh it you you've seen uh the robot wars right where they the bot wars or whatever yeah bot wars yeah okay well there is a new version with rumba's

Speaker: But your Roombas have guns attached. And the object is, you know, the Roomba goes around as is. You don't control the Roomba. You can only control the guns. So the object would shoot the other person's Roomba. I'm kind of in. I want to watch.

Speaker: from behind those books last, so I wanna watch. I'm out, I'm out, I'm out, I'm out, I'm out. The only thing, the only thing, when it comes to Roomba, and I don't even like fucking cats, the only thing I'm in for are cats fighting Roombas, cats riding Roombas. I was going next to you, and I'm sure you've probably seen it. There was a video, and I think it was on TikTok, it might've been Reels, but

Speaker: This couple had a Roomba and they would go to work and when they would go to work and their room wasn't scheduled to Roomba vacuum. Yeah, I was going to say the vacuum. Um, but every time they came home from work, their Roomba was in a different spot. So they're like, you know what? We're going to set up a camera and see what the fuck is going on with our Roomba. Now they had this, this, this cat was fucking gorgeous.

Speaker: It looked like a long haired Siamese cat. Beautiful cat. The cat had figured out how to, or what button to hit on the Roomba to make the Roomba Roomba or move or whatever, drive around. I'm assuming there's a power button.

Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So so so the Roomba or the cat would come up and hit the button and once the Roomba was engaged, the cat would get on it and ride it around the house. So like this video is like.

Speaker: Yeah, like this video, the girl was narrating it. It was just a video and it was the narration behind it. And she was like, my husband and I thought we were crazy because we were turning our room off and it wasn't scheduled to run. And we'd come home from work every day and every day we'd come home from room.

Speaker: from work and the room would be in a different location. It wasn't on stock charging like it was supposed to be, blah, blah, blah. So we set up a camera to see what was going on. And this is what we discovered. It was literally the cat, like be home alone and just walk up and go.

Speaker: and the the Roomba would undock and as soon as it would undock, the cat would jump on it and just out around the house as happy as possible. And then when it was done riding, when it was done riding the Roomba, the cat would bet up and again and the Roomba would stop wherever the cat was done and the cat would get off and just walk away and that's where the Roomba would sit until they came home. Did you have you heard about the the guy he he

Speaker: It's a much love to you, man. Be careful. Be safe. Yeah. Appreciate you coming by. There's a guy, he actually created a Roomba like device or he bought it. I'm not sure, but it cuts grass. So yeah. Well, what he did is he attached a, a phone to it and, and it goes live on TikTok.

Speaker: It has made $127 ,000. Did you see that? Did you see the remote control car with all the, with the cameras and stuff on it?

Speaker: And he drives it into like the gas station, the convenience stores. He picks up like a candy bar from the gas station. Yeah. Have you seen lately, like as of lately, everybody's being super shitty towards it like the like, yeah, they're kicking it and shit. Yeah. Well, no, like the thing. Not. It's the fucking employees in the stores. Oh, really?

Speaker: Yeah. The employees in the stores, everybody else, like the, the customers, they still find it so cool. And they, and they like enjoy interacting with it and, and, and helping it. Yeah. Like the employees are kicking it. They're picking it up and taking it in the office and putting it in a, in a cart and shit. So he can't drive it back home and back wherever they're just like being fucking scumbags. And it was like, he,

Speaker: Not doing anything wrong. He literally puts what he's also promoting your business. Yeah. Like he puts what he wants and he has the money in there. It's not like stealing your shit and you guys are just being assholes for no fucking reason. Did you see where he had, he had the remote control car by a remote control car? No, I didn't see that one. So he, he put in, I want to buy a remote control car and then PS I need a trailer.

Speaker: So he drove it to a hobby shop, bought the, the, there's a, there's a new ready to run RC on the 64 and it's a 64 Impala with hydraulics. And they had a trailer that they hooked up to the truck and then strapped the 64 box and all to the trailer and dude drove it home.

Speaker: And I was like, that's kind of cool. But he was standing outside the car was outside the store for like 45 minutes because they couldn't hear the horn of it. They upgraded his horn. Nice. Yeah. We're going to go ahead and upgrade it. Yeah.

Speaker: Now it's like the normal, like the people in the store, everybody else, like everybody's always so cool, but it's like now it's becoming the employees and it's just like. And then not only that, but then they're fucking taking the money out of it. So like the employees are like being fucking and then they're taking the money and not even in trying to basically kidnap his remote control car. So it's just like, so you're on camera. You literally took the money out of his shit, treated it like shit.

Speaker: put it in a court and called it jail. And then he's gone into some big little stores like like fucking Target and shit like that. Yeah. It's like this dude is huge on so on TikTok and social media and whatnot. And your employees. Your employees. I don't like Target anyways. Fuck Target and RJ. Yeah, you all are snot.

Speaker: First and foremost, target, I hate to break it to you and target employee or target customers. I hate to break it to you just because you actually put on leggings in a t -shirt does not make you any better than the Walmart. All you're doing is paying seven times the amount for the same thing. So you feel better about yourself.

Speaker: But you're literally going in there and leggings, a t -shirt, your hair pulled up in a big tail and no makeup on. Ain't nothing special about you. Yeah. Those little lemons aren't that crazy. Cool. And I ain't wearing Lulu women lemons. They're probably wearing Walmart brand leggings and going to Target. I've never been inside a Target. They don't have Target.

Speaker: I mean, I ain't bad at Target, but. But yeah, it's just, it's the same thing you buy. Same shit you buy at Walmart. I mean, I can, I can, I can go buy a Van Halen shirt at Target and spend $18 or I can go to Walmart and get the same exact Van Halen shirt made by the same exact option for five bucks. Yeah. Agreed. A lot of shirts.

Speaker: Lot a lot of the t -shirts I buy I buy from a company called del sol Which is actually a JC penny off to? No, sorry, Woolworth, it's a Woolworth But I think it's only Mexico so But they have you know, I buy that T -shirt that says hello. My name is weirdo

Speaker: I bought that there. It was like $3, $3 or $5, something like that. They don't always have the greatest selection, but every once in a while find something cool. There's another store here called Beware of the Dog. They have all sorts of cool t -shirts that are like Rick and Morty and all this cool shit and bands and stuff like that. I got a pair of sweatpants with, say, friends down the side.

Speaker: the friend's logo. Fucking comfortable shit. Eight bucks. I don't know, man. The shirt I'm wearing. Yeah, the shirt I'm wearing is from Walmart. I got this one. This one has bears all over it. And I got it at, at, uh, my, uh, I think it was like six bucks.

Speaker: Yeah, no, my my gray sweats. I am honored from Timu. And careful with Timo, apparently they're stealing everybody's data. Still anybody's data? No, I just fucking steal my data. I don't know. He's spoken everywhere else. Yeah, I was going to say everybody is. Oh, you know, go back on target. My ex -wife.

Speaker: her card was compromised like ten times a target in two years. I don't I don't about it. Uh no. There's a whole news report. Actually, in all honesty, the most expensive thing I have on right now and I got it stupid cheap. Are my boxers? Because they're they're they're they're

Speaker: But I got them at a sample sale, like fucking four years ago. Well, I mean, like the most expensive thing I got on is my shoes. Boxers I've ever owned in my entire life. The most expensive thing I wear daily is my shoes. Fucking my boots came from Walmart. Well, I buy Nike and I buy Vans.

Speaker: So like I'm wearing bands, my bands, I think they were like 50 bucks. I have like four pairs of bands. I have like six pairs of Jordans. I only wear my band. My boots I wear, I didn't buy. I got my Justin's, but I don't wear those very often. I wear caterpillars.

Speaker: Boots I wear I only wear my boots when I'm working in the backyard Yeah, the boots the boots that I wear when we go out. I didn't even buy My tailor shoes I didn't buy them but I love them fucking there. They're promos. I love them damn. Thanks, man I just don't see the sense of spending a fuck ton of money on shit. I mean them like this in the

Speaker: like when I buy, when I bought those footwear goes, my Justin's were the most expensive thing I bought and I bought them as soon as I got home from, or got back home to Ohio. I paid 150 bucks for it. I think the most expensive pair of shoes I have is 110 bucks. Um, my, my, my area outside, I have Pops birthday bought those for me.

Speaker: but he used Charlotte's discount because they were down there and he bought a pair of boots. And so, and then my Durango's, they were, they were birthday gifts. Um, outside of my football jerseys, that's the only thing I don't mind spending a ton of money on. Right. No. Uh,

Speaker: I think my headphones cost more money than my shoes. I'm not worried about. But my headphones are technically business, business expense. Actually, I think as of late, the most expensive thing I've bought or bought, bought, bought, bought.

Speaker: bought a fucking belt that you make fun of me for. That's the most expensive thing I've probably bought in 20 years. I've never spent $200 on something I can wear. I spent $300 on it, but totally worth it. I love it. And at the end of the day, the belt was like 45 bucks on sale. What? My, my belt, my Gucci belt. It's like 45 bucks. I'm not crazy.

Speaker: Well, that's because it's Gucci. It's not Gucci. No, it's actually Gucci. There's a Gucci store. Actually, you live in Mexico. It's Gucci. It was the cheapest fucking thing in the store. Yeah. And. Dude, the sandals, they wanted like $30. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, Nicky and I are going to New York and I'm buying our Louis Vuitton purse. Good luck with that.

Speaker: don't worry about it. It's going to be from the same person that Jeff is going to be from the same person that Jeff bought his Gucci belt from. It's going to be Louis the town. It's it's Louis. It'll be home. Now, uh look, I want to look at the person but they are 100 % knockoff but they're

Speaker: she she made me go into Tiffany's uh couple months back and I said baby I don't think I make enough money to even walk in this door and the doorman doorman who probably makes more money than I do a year just standing at the fucking door laugh you don't fucking chuckle at me you goofy son bitch I'll beat the place up that was a joke between me and her motherfucker yeah like your fucking business Django I can't I can't so

Speaker: There's a version of Air Force Ones that I want. They are the Tiffany Air Force Ones. They look so fucking cool. They're all black with the teal. They're so fucking gay. First and foremost, Tiffany's.

Speaker: color that they are known for is blue. It's eel. What? Well, eel. Eel blue. Tiffany blue. Tiffany blue. There's such a **** bag. Yaw queen. Yeah. I would totally rock those **** Tiffany **** too. But they're like $400.

Speaker: Yeah, there's a reason why my shoes last as long as I do I don't go anywhere I've had these bands for a year and a half I've had my jelly when I'm depressed. I got my Justin's for four years. Oh Well, yeah, but they're just

Speaker: I've had my last, I can pass them on to my great, great, great, great, great, great grandson. My area, also three years old, my Durango's are two years old. Now granted, I did retire both pair of my Nikes, but both pair of my Nikes were older than my oldest daughter, or about the same age as my oldest daughter. And I bought my Pumas a year and a half ago, two years ago.

Speaker: but I got a pair of recently switched. I got a pair of Adidas slides that are definitely older than cash. We'll see. I don't, I, I have, I have a pair of slides around here somewhere that I got at Walmart. I guarantee you, those Tiffany air force ones are not going to last you. Oh no. I don't think I'm number one. I'm not going to buy them because I'm not spending $200 on.

Speaker: because I'm not that asshole. Like I said, if they're more than 120 bucks, I don't need it. If I, if I had the Powerball tonight, I'm not an asshole. I'm going to buy them and dangle them in front of me. I'm just going to wear them on the show and prop my feet up the entire show and put my feet. Like you're not even, I'm not even going to be on the camera anymore. It's just going to be my feet. You fucking tooth.

Speaker: Nobody, Jesus Christ, nobody hit the power ball tonight either. Again? Saturday's drawing. No, Saturday's drawing is up to. You see the guy on TikTok that's breaking down. You know, if you win the power ball, you're not going to actually getting a billion dollars after taxes. Here's only at 470 ,000 and I'm like, or 470 million. I'm like, yeah, I'm okay with that.

Speaker: Yeah. So nobody hit the power ball tonight. The power ball is now up to 1 .4 billion dollars. Yeah. That's what the B this guy, this guy, he's on there and he's like, uh, if you get the power ball, you don't actually get the 1 .4 billion. You know, if you take the lump sum, you're, you're cutting it down to like a billion dollars after taxes.

Speaker: You're at 470 million. I'm like, yeah, I'm still with that. Well, the cash option, and this is after they take taxes now, from my understanding. No, no, no, no. You have to pay the taxes after you have cash. Well, 4 .4 billion is the jackpot. The cash option payout. $643 .7 million.

Speaker: Yeah. And then after taxes, it comes down to 475 million. Once again, 475 million. I'm still good. But the cash payout is 30 years. No, you have two options. You can do the tax one time cash. 30 year payout. I'm almost 22.

Speaker: I think I'm going to be alive for another 30 years. So I'll go ahead and take the 30 year pay out where they give me like a hundred million a year. Well, no, I'm just telling her million. You'd probably look at it. No. If you take, if you take the yearly payout, you get the full hundred and four point billion.

Speaker: The cash payout is the lump sum. So the lump, so the lump sum is at 643 .7 million. If you often do the yearly payout, you get that, you get that 1 .4 billion. Oh, you get the whole boat. Well, you're on that money. They give you a hundred million. Yeah. Yeah. But still, I mean, for 30 years, uh, I dunno, it's like,

Speaker: And eight nine ten million a year or some shit like that So one million six hundred thousand No one one one billion. Sorry divide by 30 billion With a beat three million dollars a year Yeah, fifty three million dollars a year. I think I'm good. I think I can live all minus 30 %

Speaker: I think I'll be around for another 30 years. So you would have to pay $16 million a year for taxes on that. So 53 minus 16 is 16 million. 37 million. $37 million a year. I think I'm good. We'd be in the poor house, mama.

Speaker: thirty -seven. Oh, right. Here, we'd be in the poor house. I think we'll be around for an hour. Even if you're not, who gives a ****? Even if I take the cash payout. The cash payout comes up after taxes comes up to like 475 million. Oh **** my life. I know your **** right? What would I do? You can't even quit your job with that.

Speaker: So, so given the option of 475 million now or 50 or 37 million a year. Definitely. I feel like I could, I mean, 475 million. I think I can get Cleveland Brown season tickets for the next 13 generations of my family. Here's my question.

Speaker: So, you're okay. So, hold on a second. I got to ask this question. So, your dad could will his season tickets to you. Yes. And I don't pay for them. You would pay like $3 ,000. He could will the seat license over. Yeah. How often do you have to pay the license? Just once. Just once. So, like the three grand a year. Is for the two. Yeah, for three grand a year. Yeah.

Speaker: This is actually discussed in the movie Fever Pitch. And we would have the season for us. And we're not going to go to everything. Let's be honest. We have $37 million a year. I think you can afford the private jet to go every game. Now, I'm going to be 100, like the kids say. I'm going to be 100. We had a lotto, and I'll buy season tickets for the Browns. I'm buying a condo, penthouse, suite, whatever.

Speaker: in Cleveland because I'm going to every Cleveland home game. Oh yeah. Every weekend, Friday, I'll be like, baby, time to go. And actually we can do the same thing in Pittsburgh. We'll buy, we'll buy your dad's tickets out because they don't go. They go. Yeah. We'll buy his tickets out. And if the Browns aren't home and the Steelers are home, I love that you're big expense for $3 ,000 a year. What happens if they're both at home? We got a Cleveland, obviously.

Speaker: They don't want to fuck you. You go to Cleveland, Nikki goes to Pittsburgh. It's an easy win. Condos, houses, pin houses, whatever. Like right across the street from the stadium. Yeah. I'm just saying. Yeah, but wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Speaker: So here's my question. Do you buy seats or do you buy a box? No, I buy seats. I get my own spot on the bench with the Cleveland Browns. How much is a sweet out of football games?

Speaker: When we went to the game, that dude that was Alfonso, Jones, George. Hey, you don't want me on the field? You want me on the field? Let me know. You want me on the field? Give me on the field. I work here. No, I'm on the field. I'm on the bench. I'm sitting beside Miles Garrett. I'm just saying. Me and Miles Garrett are best friends, Jeffrey. Okay.

Speaker: Uh, you're talking about buying a seat, see two seats, clean the rounds cause you right around three grand a year. Correct. What's your debt payer? Whatever the face value is going to take it. I don't know. It's about three to five grand a year front row. Okay. Yeah. You're making 37 million a year.

Speaker: You don't go with the suite. No, I don't want a suite that is $8 ,000 per game. No, again, 17 games. You're still going to get the suite. 17, 17 games a season, eight to nine games a year at home.

Speaker: Right. I want to be down front row on the field, close as close as I can be for every game. Because again, when it's the middle of December, 17, 17. So you get eight to nine home games a year. It's only 272 ,000 for the biggest suite they got a year. So it's a drop in the bucket of 37 million. I understand that.

Speaker: But being a fan, I don't think Nicky would agree. Plus having that amount of money, even in the dead of winter in Pittsburgh, where it's cold as fuck in Cleveland, where cold as fuck, we will be able to afford top of the line gear for our teams to stay warm. Like whatever, whatever they're wearing on the field.

Speaker: to make sure they're not freezing to death. We're going to be wearing on our seats. I'm just looking up the prices. 50 yard line behind the bench. And again, if we want to be on the field at both Pittsburgh and Cleveland with that amount of money, we'll be on the goddamn field. We will literally be standing with the goddamn coaches.

Speaker: with that amount of money in our, in our, in our checking account. I'm just saying. Okay. So 17 games a year. So Cleveland, current Cleveland Browns tickets are between 75 and $157.

Speaker: You have to remember, only half of those games are at home and that's what you buy season tickets for. Right. You buy season tickets for the home games. It doesn't say a whole **** row. I was going to say, I'll buy a whole **** row and then we can take like underprivileged kids.

Speaker: No, I'll buy a whole row. We can take underprivileged kids. We can get back to the community. And I said that Monday night, the thing that people don't understand is if I hit the lottery, first and foremost, I'm starting my charity that I want to do and which Nikki and I have talked about. And, uh, but I'm also going to give back to the year, by the way. What's that?

Speaker: If you started a charity, you could, you could literally give the charity $60 million a year. And then it's a write -off for the taxes. No. And then I like, I want to, I want to have my own charity. I have an idea, which I'm still considering trying to figure out how to get involved with it and do. Um, but at the same time, if I hit the lottery, I want to do so much for.

Speaker: Not only our community or like my community, where I'm from, where, where, where I'm at, but also Nikki's as well. She wants to do something for what she grew up at her or give back to her community. Like, you know, Oh yeah, I'm buying a lottery at the end of the day. I mean, let's be honest, it's our money. And of course I'm going to open by whatever you want to call it bar restaurant or whatever you want to call it. Um,

Speaker: But I want to do more charity work than what I want to do for myself. Once I buy my property and I was talking about, I was talking about that with a, with a buddy of mine at work. We were talking about what would you do with, you know, more money to do it? Honestly, I can't think past 20 million after $20 million.

Speaker: I've run out of shit to buy. Am I wrong? No, you know, my thing is I want to buy a fuck ton of property, build our house. I want the house that we both want. Obviously I want to build out my studio and probably would you think you would spend on said house and studio studio can't be more than a hundred grand. Oh,

Speaker: house studio, proper land. And then I, what did I say? I was going to give the kids a budget up to build their house. Oh no, I didn't, I didn't give the kids a budget, but I said 2 ,500 square foot home for each one of the kids, all five, all five of them. And then we were going to build a house. So I was going to buy a fuck ton of property and give all the kids like five acres.

Speaker: and a house with a limit of 2 ,500 square feet. And then I wanted to build a house that would meet all the needs of Mickey's parents, you know, like her mom doesn't do stairs or anything like that. You know, um, a couple of acres, you know, if they wanted it or whatever, uh, you know, between that, I probably got a,

Speaker: I mean, right there, that's only like 20 mil. No, I don't even think it's 20 mil. I mean, I could probably do all that. That's what I'm saying. I have to $20 million. What else do you need? You're going to run out of shit to buy. Am I wrong? Well, because, because I've stated both of them. Yes, we both like money, but we're not that green guy. Yeah, no, I, I plan on going so much charity stuff and, and, and, and,

Speaker: At the end of the day, you know, I'm gonna make sure Nikki gets the Jeep. She wants, I'm going to get the truck. I want out. If you're still under a hundred grand a piece. Yeah. Well, my truck is not, my truck is not under a hundred grand. Okay. So less than 200 grand a piece. Each one of the kids, you know, I got her oldest boy and

Speaker: and his girlfriend, which, what, what car do you want? What's in that? And we buy it for him. And then we go to, you have to throw in the caveat. It has to be a reasonable vehicle. Well, it's not a Ferrari because it's a fucking breakdown more than that's American or Chevy. And then, and then like my three buggy cash in Austin. Well, I don't have to worry about Austin.

Speaker: uh let's be honest she's never gonna have a fucking license i'll spend more money on fucking uber i'll spend more money on uber for austin than i will for anything else but you know all the kids not want her license don't even get me started on this fucking trial i can't do i can't i

Speaker: Do not get me started on this. My head around that, you know, all the kids get whatever car they want. And obviously Nikki's parents still drive. So I'm like, Hey, what do you guys want? And then, you know, like every, you know, what, three, four years before, you know, everybody gets, everybody gets new cars every three to four years. Nikki and her group, the SG, I would say.

Speaker: You extravagant with it. How many people we talking? Five kids, two parents, nine. So eight people buying a car every couple, every. Oh, nine people. Awesome. You just get her a fucking chauffeur probably cost you less.

Speaker: You ain't wrong. It'll be just cheaper. You're a chauffeur and a fucking Honda. Call the day. Right. You're still at like. Let's say a million. So a million bucks. No, I know. And that was like her dad both get, you know, brand new fucking fully loaded 3500.

Speaker: Well, not only that, but I mean, it's also going to be one of those things where Vicki and I wanted to fucking take off for two weeks and go on a goddamn cruise. We're going to go on a goddamn cruise. Yeah. Plus, plus. I'm going to have a beach house in Charleston. Let's be. Yeah, but still. We're going to. Are you going to build new or are you going to buy? I mean, if the property is available and I can build new, I'll build brand new.

Speaker: If I have to buy a house, I'll buy houses. There's plenty of beautiful beach houses on, on the beach. Right. Well, I mean, I should, I might buy four just cause I don't want no name. Amen to that. Yeah. But like I said, with 37 million or a woman, three of them will be Airbnb, 37 million a year.

Speaker: I don't think you could spend 20 million. No, no, no. I know you 100 % good, but I don't think you personally could personally, no, no, no, us personally. And I don't want to say me, but I'm going to say us. There's no way in hell that we can really spend 37 million a year. Yeah. That's what I said. A lot of it's going to be chaired because, um, you know,

Speaker: I grew up and my parents died when I was young and I grew up in an orphanage and I want to give back. I do want to do a lot of stuff for my community. I want to do stuff for, you know, like I said, if Mickey wants to do stuff for her community, I want to, I want to, I want to give more than what I would actually need out of this jackpot. Well, yeah, but the problem with that is,

Speaker: And it's not really a problem. And my family, because let's be honest, let's be a hundred percent honest. My sisters, I'll buy them a house, you know, like a normal house in a normal neighborhood and I'll buy them a brand new and then I'm out and then I'm gone. And that's the only family that's the only family I have to worry about because I ain't doing shit else for the rest of my family.

Speaker: Y 'all **** **** for me. You only never never been **** to me. So, let's say, let's say between the two of you because obviously, you win. It's it's not just yours. It's Mickey. No, it's not. No, we win. Exactly. And so, I'm I'm I'm no froggy and give the kids his mom a

Speaker: No. Hey, how many? My thing is, my thing is I would say at the very most in a single year, the two of you, you and Nikki might, if you really, really, really push it, you might spend 10 million. Yeah. And this is the year, but the next year you spend like a hundred grand, you know? Like this isn't even me being shitty or anything else. Be like, I'm going to give you five acres, brand new house. You and.

Speaker: your fiance brand new cars and a million dollars. Just fucking go away. Just fucking go away. Just go with every penny. I wonder, I wonder, can you will that 30 years out?

Speaker: I don't think you know, I don't think you will lottery now. But again, 37 billion a year. So I get 37 million a year. I've already got the house. I've already got the property. The kids have the houses. The kids have the cars. Nikki's parents are taken care of. I bank the rest of it. I do my charity stuff. We got the business or businesses. The first thing you do when you win a lottery,

Speaker: You get a a money consultant. No, you don't. But they don't have access. They just say this is a good investment or this is not. Nope. We've seen that money consultant. We've seen that on the episode of the truth. I'm carrying the back. She killed the man and took his moneys. Well, yeah, you can do that. You can't. You can't do that.

Speaker: And he hired this chick and she literally killed him in the backyard and then was just taking all his money and said that he left down because he did basically the same thing. I'm on dude. You write everybody off. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. You're cool. Fuck you. And obviously, and obviously I'm going to take care of Kevin and teacher. Yeah.

Speaker: I got to take care of Kevin teach and I got to take care of Donnie, but I mean, that's, that's the sweat off my balls. Take care of Kevin and GJ and Donnie, but those are my people. Right. Kevin and teacher is his God parents. Right. Well, yeah. Yeah. I get them their property, their house that they want. I get Kevin, whatever big off fucking overcompensation, small penis truck. He wants.

Speaker: Yeah. You know, I make sure is set for college. You know, I set that college fund back for Mason. Like they're like, they're good. They don't got to worry about shit for the rest of their lives. It's like you do that for people you care about. Like I can see you doing that for Connor as well. Yeah. Oh yeah. I would definitely take care of Connor and his family. I would just try to do something to take care of you and yours. You know what I mean? Like,

Speaker: I just buy you a house and property and buy you a **** in Fort Fierro and you'd be happy. Uh I hate to be a bad news for you a DeLorean and you would shut the **** up. and it would look just like the DeLorean from from back to the future. Okay. I'm in. I'm in.

Speaker: It'd be pink, but I got it. I ain't worried. I, you know what? Here's the thing. I, so that's, that's the thing with me. Like my mom's offered me money. She's like, Hey, you guys need money. I'm like, no, we're good. And my wife's like, what are you doing? We don't have a pot to piss in. I'm like, yeah, I got this. Don't worry about it. Yeah. That's why I would just do it. Not give you the option to complain about it.

Speaker: Or sell me other ones. I still complain. I still complain. Ooh. Well, it's already bought and paid for. I don't really fucking care. Yeah, but I never let you hear the end of it. I'm not living there. I was just like, I'd be like, Jeff, I can't take your phone. I'm watching the DeLorean, but I'm not in the house. Jeff, I can't talk to you. You're the DeLorean. Just talk to my people. Well, it is late, sir. It is.

Speaker: I know it is. Quickly approaching six hours. It is fucking Wednesday. Jesus. Jesus fucking Christ. Nobody won the powerball tonight. So we're on to Saturday. What's it going up to? 1 .4 billion dollars Saturday. That's what it is now. Oh. For Saturday night's drawing.

Speaker: for Saturday night's drawing, $1 .4 billion with a $643 .7 million cash option value. Probably somebody, well, here's the thing.

Speaker: I'm going to leave before we wrap this show up. The Powerball Mega Millions, whatever, has been dropping record setting numbers the last several times, the last few times. And I think the last two times been in California.

Speaker: So there's a little bit of a conspiracy theory about the lottery. Yeah. Didn't the guy that won the last one, he bought, he bought that like 27 or $270 million house. I don't think we would spend a million dollars on a house for us. Believe it or not, not that hard. Well, no, I'm not. We're just talking house, not property.

Speaker: Well, no, because Nikki and I we've had the conversation. I don't want something. We don't, we don't need, we don't need something big and obnoxious. We just need something. I'll probably be on location, depending on location, a million dollars for a house like that. No, no, probably be here in Ohio. And then my parents' houses, my parents' houses, 2 .4. Yeah. Well, we'll probably spend more money on the beach house somewhere on the coast.

Speaker: than what we, but we don't want a house that's going to be bigger than we need. We want, I know that's not even accurate either. I don't even think I would spend more than one or 200 ,000 on the studio. I want, and that includes paying for a producer to where literally all I have to do is just show up because the producers are going to do everything.

Speaker: and have all the audio, all the. Yeah. I mean, I can do a hundred K a year. I mean, you will be paying more, but you, you can find somebody to do it for 40 K a year. I can find an executive producer for the show that would do all the bullshit that I do right now for, and which is way of repairs, but I wouldn't mind paying it for a hundred grand a year. Exactly.

Speaker: I would absolutely give somebody a hundred grand a year for me to just sit in front of my wife. Yeah. You know what I mean? And, and, and, and, and, and, and then hire somebody to do social media and, and this and the other thing. Um, yeah, the house alone might spend, uh, two, 300 ,000 on, but you also got to look at furniture and shit like that. So.

Speaker: That's what I said. That's everything included but that's going to be 100 % everything we want. I'd say that that's easily a million. The barn for my cows and goats will probably be more expensive than my house. Yeah, the barn's for dinner and breakfast. We're not naming the cows. We don't have to just know that I'm buying whatever you want. That's what Chris and I call him while you're not around. As I told her,

Speaker: So you're going to go out to pet her cow. She's got a petter cow and go, what the fuck? It is because I walked by with a blowtorch away. All I got to say is when we hit the lottery and you get cows and goats and stuff, I get bitches and aliens. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Not midges and aliens, little people and vertically challenged.

Speaker: Actually, uh, the one guy that was complaining about the seven wife, uh, snow white and seven dwarfs, he actually didn't identify to the divorce. So I guess that's still okay. Well, the chores are mad at the people who are complaining about people being mad at the chores. He's not going to be released. They're shit canning it. Well, what are you going to do? Cause that chick that was playing snow white was being a cop.

Speaker: and he was fucking 130. I got to get up from less than five. Appreciate you guys. Appreciate you guys hanging out. Check out them social medias. Go head over to bio .link slash nonsensical nonsense. You're gonna get all the socials. We do this shit live every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday seven PM is

Speaker: and if you can join us live, you can listen to us anytime, any place on any podcast platform that's out there, we are there. With that being said, as Jeffrey's people say, mucho gracias. Mucho gracias. Mucho gracias. Oh, let's go ahead. Let's go ahead.

Speaker: I'm okay now. I was. I'm okay now. I'm good. Oh, Tommy. Ready to rumble. He's like, he's like mucho Gracias. He's like, oh, are you fluent in Spanish? He's like, I was, but I'm okay now. Uh, little, uh, Tommy Johansson, I think is his name. I might be wrong.

Speaker: One of my favorite songs from the 80s, 80s hairband, Sebastian Bach, Skid Row, 18 and Life.

Speaker: Ricky was a young boy He had a heart of snorke Ling on to find what his fingers turned to black Just barely out of school Came from the edge of town For like a switchblade No one could take him down No, he'd have no money No, no good at all

Speaker: Fuck the streets of soldier and he fucked a world alone and you're wet 18 and life you got it 18 and life you know Your crime is time and it's 18 and life to go 18 and life you got it 18 and life you know Your crime is time and it's been

Speaker: Take it out in his heartbeat, his face unjustly It kept his motor running, but it never kept him clean They said he loved adventure, we kissed a wild one He married trouble, had a conscience with a god

Speaker: You can't think of dying when those bottles your best friend and now is 18 and life you got it 18 and life you know Your crime is time and it's 18 and life you know 18 and life you got it 18 and life you know Your crime is time and it's 18

Speaker: Excellent will happen May your heart hurt with kissing And finally, sing short tune

Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Speaker: that's what's up right there ladies and gentlemen my man killed it but they killed it if you don't know what I'm talking about then uh you should go ahead and check out skid row check out Sebastian box y 'all need to get your shit together god damn it skid row and Sebastian box stop fucking fussing and fighting and hit the road again because Sebastian box still all this shit but my man can

Speaker: Well, boy, when he sings, we'll see you guys Saturday night with a brand new episode of nonsensical nonsense. This shit went way longer than it should have gone on a Wednesday night. Yeah, we've really got a time. We got to really stop. We got to kind of cut each other off. We just can't.

Speaker: Can't fuck up a good thing. That or if we stop and then do like after show stuff, which can just be like YouTube and stuff like that and cut and clip or whatever. But we do got to get better at just killing this goddamn show. But I mean, that kind of thing, man. People are digging the Superstar show.

Speaker: Yeah. You know, I'm not mad at it. I mean, I'm mad at it in the morning when I have to wake up. Well, I'm going to be so. But yeah, I'm going to be. It's a big as well as a big as and I will see you Saturday with a brand new episode where Jeffrey, what would you like to leave these some matches with? Well, closing words, if you will. Deuces.

Speaker: What Debbie has said every once in a while, life's going to get a little hard. It's going to get a little tough. You're going to find yourself at a crossroads. You're going to be worried about what your next move is, what you should do, and where you should go. Well, to that, all I have to say is, uh, W W N N D. If you know, you know.

Speaker: be good. I'll be in the wrong place. Do what? If you don't know, then you're in the wrong place. Yeah. Well, that being said, be good or be good at it. Goodbye, motherfucker. Wrong picture. Six hours. Shut the fuck up and hit the button.

Speaker: Say hello to my wife and daughter.