Transcript
Phil Gordon: One. Good afternoon and happy Fourth of July. I'm Phil Gordon, along with my partner, Dave Margolis. Hello, Dave.
Dave Margolis: Happy Fourth Phil, great to see you.
Phil Gordon: Great to see you, and what a day. We are here, perched high above the great American State Fair in Washington, D.C. Welcome. Happy July 4th, everyone. This is a very, very special day, the first event of its kind.
Phil Gordon: ah We had a little bit of a dry run, Dave. I'm sure you were there, or at least watched the UFC Freedom 250 event that was held outside the White House.
Dave Margolis: Of course.
Phil Gordon: Very exciting, very, very invigorating and what to celebrate the president's birthday, 80th birthday day for Donald Trump.
Dave Margolis: I had to go to the doctor afterwards and have some testosterone removed. It was squashed.
Phil Gordon: that's That's how much there was.
Dave Margolis: was blowing up, yeah. books
Phil Gordon: Absolutely incredible.
Dave Margolis: I'm glad to feel that we have we we're at a very high station here overlooking the county fair.
Phil Gordon: yeah you can see Yeah, you can see right here what it looks like, the big Ferris wheel.
Dave Margolis: We want to get a can see the whole crowd and we don't miss anybody. Did
Phil Gordon: Yeah, now the crowd was estimated at over 10 million, I believe, by the Trump administration.
Dave Margolis: do you say million or billion? Well, million.
Phil Gordon: I think he said million. If you look at the photo that we're looking at here, and there's at least 1,000 people there, I would say, Dave.
Dave Margolis: and all wearing camouflage, it looks like.
Phil Gordon: Right. And they all, yes, they're dressed as trees, it looks like to me, Dave.
Dave Margolis: Yeah.
Phil Gordon: Well, I will say, as we as we sit up here, Dave, let me, for the crowd, describe.
Dave Margolis: So.
Phil Gordon: We have a beautiful blue sky, a shiny yellow sun, and a pea soup green reflecting pool.
Dave Margolis: Hey, Phil, I haven't thought about the reflecting pool.
Phil Gordon: Oh, please share, Dave.
Dave Margolis: I know Trump wanted to be American flag blue, which nothing wrong with that.
Phil Gordon: course
Dave Margolis: Wouldn't it have been easier to color the water than repaint the bottom of it? Like they do in Chicago on St. Patrick's Day. Don't they make the river green? Couldn't they have made the the reflecting pool water blue?
Phil Gordon: Well, ah who am I to question His Majesty, Dave? But I suppose it wouldn't have been reflecting had it just been
Dave Margolis: Yeah, he is an expert.
Dave Margolis: ah
Phil Gordon: painted blue or colored blue, but I think you make a good point. What are they doing now? Are they trying to remove the water and redo it?
Dave Margolis: I think they have to empty the They have to drain it.
Phil Gordon: I see.
Dave Margolis: and they And they have, they have ice is lined up with so red solo cups and they're all scooping water out and taking it away. The bid on that was $5 million dollars to do it that way.
Dave Margolis: That's the
Phil Gordon: Wow. Did you say it was ICE troops that were doing that? Or the National Guard, someone like that?
Dave Margolis: What's that?
Phil Gordon: Well, they could you know, if each of the 10 million people that were there to they had won a solo cup, they would probably do it.
Dave Margolis: Yeah, everybody brought us a lookup and it'll be empty soon. And then they they have to pull off the bottom the ceiling.
Phil Gordon: Yes, absolutely.
Dave Margolis: you know Somebody in the dark of night took a box cutter, you know how well they do cutting through great sheets of rubber and they made a 350 foot slash in it in it, the reflective pool is only 300 feet, so 50 feet of that was just nearby lawn, pedestrians,
Phil Gordon: Sounds reasonable to me, Dave. Yeah, I have trouble opening an Amazon package with it, let alone cutting that. But I believe I heard this morning, Dave, that there's been an arrest made for vandalism, and it was like a former Olympic athlete.
Dave Margolis: Right, right, yeah.
Phil Gordon: So we'll see what happens there. Nothing but justice always in the Trump administration.
Dave Margolis: Well, course, yeah.
Phil Gordon: Yeah. Dave, it is so great to...
Dave Margolis: who knows Who knows more about the law than the one person who is above it?
Phil Gordon: Of course, of course.
Dave Margolis: Donald
Phil Gordon: It is, Dave, so great to be working with you together as is as usual, and it always is. Let's tell our audience a little bit about our history and how we've come to be doing this new show, Laughing Liberally Arizona.
Dave Margolis: Trump. We're laughing liberally Arizona here. Uh, There are other laughing, liberally places around the country that do various things.
Dave Margolis: There's drinking.
Phil Gordon: They do shows. It's a combination, really. Some are radio shows, some are stand-up shows.
Dave Margolis: Yeah.
Phil Gordon: Ours was, we've done both a stand-up show.
Dave Margolis: you
Phil Gordon: We've done sort of a theatrical presentation when we were at the Tucson Improv Movement.
Dave Margolis: Right. Right.
Dave Margolis: Right.
Phil Gordon: But it all kind of started with our radio show, Dave.
Dave Margolis: Yeah. Yeah. Phil and I, I, I, uh, Came from Los Angeles. I'd done open mics there for a couple years. Done a lot more mics since I've been in Tucson. Phil's a Chicagoan. You've performed in Chicago and Vegas and various places around Southern Arizona.
Dave Margolis: we yeah We had a local radio show here for few years, I guess. I can't remember how long it was, but MKR, it's a local, like a public access station.
Phil Gordon: Yeah, KMKR 99.9. What's
Dave Margolis: And we interviewed local comics and we interviewed
Phil Gordon: up?
Dave Margolis: road comics coming through town and we covered any kind of events or anything having to do with comedy.
Phil Gordon: Yeah, we had, speaking of political comics, Dave, we had Harry Condabaloo joined us one night.
Dave Margolis: Right?
Phil Gordon: That was a great show.
Dave Margolis: Yep, yep, yeah, had a lot lot of folks on here. And so, and then as as you mentioned, we did a political interview comedy show at Tucson Improv Movement Theater for about a year and did a lot of satire, a lot of impressions and things like that.
Dave Margolis: And here we are.
Phil Gordon: Yeah, we and we also had some improvisers from the Tim, they call it the Tim, join us on every show.
Dave Margolis: Right.
Phil Gordon: So we we had quite a variety there.
Dave Margolis: Right.
Phil Gordon: And of course, we had our own recurring guests, some of who will be joining us throughout the presentation on Laughing Liberally Arizona as well.
Dave Margolis: Yep.
Dave Margolis: Yes.
Dave Margolis: I'm pretty sure they will be. yeah I think they'll be showing up.
Phil Gordon: Yeah, we had, well, let's just, yeah.
Dave Margolis: So, I'm looking forward to it. This is a new platform for us, but we've worked together for a long time and we're looking forward to to being silly.
Phil Gordon: Yeah.
Phil Gordon: And let's take an opportunity here, Dave, to give a shout out to our good friends at Zencaster who are giving us this platform to do this show. And we hope it looks good and sounds good.
Phil Gordon: And we hope to be doing future ones. we're We're considering at this point doing the show weekly.
Dave Margolis: Very weekly.
Phil Gordon: Extremely weekly, right. we've always In fact, that's how the reviews are read for our previous shows, weekly. Very weak.
Dave Margolis: i see I see like me, you have visited the Dollar Tree and gotten some patriotic accoutrements there. I've got my blow up.
Phil Gordon: I did. It's a very festive in here, Dave, up here in the booth. We thought it was appropriate to to decorate for the holiday. And I am wearing a red, white and blue shirt, Hawaiian shirt in my collection.
Dave Margolis: And as you know, I'm colorblind. So,
Phil Gordon: Yeah.
Dave Margolis: okay
Phil Gordon: Yeah, absolutely.
Dave Margolis: and this is our 50th state Hawaii.
Phil Gordon: ah it's
Dave Margolis: That's why I'm wearing this shirt. I don't see if I've got this thing work. See, they sell these inflatable flags.
Phil Gordon: Very lovely. is it Is it actually waving in the breeze, Dave, or is it made that way?
Dave Margolis: It's like those cold packs where you have to break it to make it inflate. It's inflating.
Phil Gordon: Is that edible, Dave?
Dave Margolis: it's inflleing
Phil Gordon: Wow.
Dave Margolis: Well, you get what you pay for at the 99 cent store, but anyway.
Phil Gordon: Yeah, well, it's a beauty. It's a beauty. You know, you have to, I don't want to, yeah.
Dave Margolis: Look, I've got my American flag back here, you can see.
Phil Gordon: Oh, yeah. Yeah, no. And what is that?
Dave Margolis: and is it' an American flag and it says Home of the Brave on it. And it's got glitter all around the outside.
Phil Gordon: I see Home of the Brave.
Dave Margolis: Cleon,
Phil Gordon: Home of the Brave, Dave, would refer to your dog, Cleon, I believe.
Dave Margolis: what else do you want?
Phil Gordon: He was very brave.
Dave Margolis: Cleod will not be joining us today. He's in his crate, but we had a very, very nice walk this morning.
Phil Gordon: Okay.
Dave Margolis: Over at Udall Park.
Phil Gordon: o
Dave Margolis: It was beautiful over there
Phil Gordon: Oh, that's wonderful. yeah yeah You'd all park home of our good friends, the Tots, the Tucson old-timer baseball team, of which you and I have been members in the past and had a great time.
Dave Margolis: there. Yep, they weren't out today, but during the week they're out there and it's just great to see. These are 60 and over men playing hardball And you and I both play, you play a little more than I did, but it's it's really great to have, you know, old guys like us and and a lot older than us ah being kids.
Dave Margolis: You know, they're out there, they're bantering, you just hear the gloves popping and you hear the crack of the bat. And this brings me back to...
Phil Gordon: Oh, it was such great fun, Dave. And, you know, I used to describe it to friends as high quality baseball in slow motion.
Dave Margolis: It's like baseball underwater.
Dave Margolis: but But the guys I know you know, we're...
Phil Gordon: I recall ah occasionally, you know, youd would be we'd we'd be fortunate enough to hit a single.
Dave Margolis: we
Phil Gordon: And then I remember looking at second base and thinking, I could get there with an Uber. Yeah.
Dave Margolis: I remember the first time I hit, I was running to first and I thought, I'm running as hard as I can, the base isn't getting any closer.
Phil Gordon: It's like the base was on the back of a truck that was moving.
Dave Margolis: Yeah. yeah Oh, I forgot to mention when i we were why I was walking Cleon today and we were yeah we were out beyond the outfield fence and we found the ball.
Phil Gordon: No. Yeah.
Dave Margolis: Somebody must have homered.
Phil Gordon: Hardball.
Dave Margolis: They didn't find it. as So I tossed it back on the field.
Phil Gordon: Yeah. I'm thinking back, Dave, that that I think would be Reed, a hard-hitting left-hander who led to the Dots in whole runs always.
Dave Margolis: left I remember Reid very well when he was a dead pull hitter. So I was in left field. This wasn't from Reid because he hit everything the right field.
Phil Gordon: um A great guy, Reed, and a great hitter, a great left-handed hitter, White. I remember...
Dave Margolis: Also on that team, think I should mention that we had, I say with old guys older than us, we had ah the right fielder, his name Floyd, who was like 95 years old and playing right field.
Phil Gordon: Yeah.
Phil Gordon: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Floyd, cannot think of his last name, but continued to play. And I think, Dave, his plan was to, once he he retired from playing every day, to take one at bat every year on his birthday.
Dave Margolis: Oh, that's cool. Yeah.
Phil Gordon: I hope that is continued. Do you remember, Dave, a friend of our show as well on Facebook, Jerry Hamlin?
Dave Margolis: Uh-huh. Cool.
Phil Gordon: I used to often talk to Jerry and sit on a bench with him. One one day I was sitting on a bench with him we just yapping about baseball. And he opens his wallet and he pulled out a photo of him next to Mickey Mantle in the on-deck circle.
Phil Gordon: he had We should mention some of these guys were really...
Dave Margolis: They had the professional experience.
Phil Gordon: playing a lot of professional ball.
Dave Margolis: Mm-hmm.
Phil Gordon: Jerry Hamlin was in the Yankee organization. He made it to AAA and was invited to spring training one year. And that's when that photo was snapped when he was talking to Mickey Mantle in the on-deck circle.
Phil Gordon: So I don't have anything to match that.
Dave Margolis: Great, great photo. Also one of our teammates was the cousin, I believe, of the great Louis Aparicio, wasn't it, that Joe Aparicio?
Phil Gordon: Joe Aparicio. Yes. Always was fun.
Dave Margolis: He's 88 years old and he was barely, barely taller than his bat.
Phil Gordon: Yeah.
Phil Gordon: and As was Little Louie, but the same. Little Louie, a Hall of Famer. And so and I believe, Dave, the oldest living hall of Famer, Luis Aparicio.
Dave Margolis: Was that right? Oh, wow, okay.
Phil Gordon: i um I know I'm right about that.
Dave Margolis: Uh-huh.
Phil Gordon: ah And we hope we hope to see him at the All-Star Game. A lot of times they have Hall of Famers in the game.
Dave Margolis: Now, let's say for our new audience here, we probably will be getting off on a few tangents of baseball.
Phil Gordon: That's going right up.
Dave Margolis: We tend to do that.
Phil Gordon: Well,
Dave Margolis: And various other things.
Phil Gordon: And we're old, Dave. You know, it's hard for us to concentrate.
Dave Margolis: You can count on that. And also, this is actually, today is the 4th of July, and you're going to Wrigley Field tonight, aren't you? to See the Cubs and Cards?
Phil Gordon: umm I'm going to be attending the Cubs-Cardinals game at the the wonderful Wrigley Field, one of my favorite ballparks.
Dave Margolis: Mm-hmm.
Phil Gordon: um Going with my son, delighted to do that. And right now we're talking about the char dog stand where they offer wonderful Chicago hot dogs. And let me tell you, all of the accoutrements, you help yourself to do it all. The sport peppers, the green relish.
Phil Gordon: I don't know how they get that relish, that bright green, Dave. I'm thinking there's some sort of nuclear fusion.
Dave Margolis: I think some vandals must have been responsible for any agreement.
Phil Gordon: Absolutely. And we're looking forward to that, singing Take Me Out to the Ballgame.
Dave Margolis: perfect
Phil Gordon: You know, they still show a video of Harry Carey singing yeah the song. And they'll they'll they'll have like a celebrity guest conductor, they call it. So I don't know who it's going to be today.
Dave Margolis: I've seen Bill Murray there a few times. Okay, okay.
Phil Gordon: Not sure who it'll be, but I'll be singing. Look for me, Dave. We're sitting, as as I recall, along the first bass line, about 20 rows up or so.
Dave Margolis: Okay, I'll take a look for it.
Phil Gordon: It's a night game, night game tonight. So we we we thought we'd have to worry about fireworks after the show.
Dave Margolis: And fireworks after the show. And fireworks, you're you're probably aware that the Cubs set or tied a record.
Phil Gordon: Absolutely.
Dave Margolis: They won And then they'd lose the next game 17-1, something like that.
Phil Gordon: Oh, the other day, the other day.
Dave Margolis: seventeen to one something like that so
Phil Gordon: I think that was yesterday to the Cardinals.
Dave Margolis: No team had ever won by 15 or more runs and the next game lost by 15 or more runs. I mean, in the 19th century, I guess it happened, but that's quite an achievement.
Phil Gordon: Yeah.
Phil Gordon: Absolutely. Absolutely.
Dave Margolis: All right. Well, we're kind of getting...
Phil Gordon: Well, Dave, ah you know, it's been a, I'm so happy to be here and happy to be going to the ballgame tonight. You know, I've been a little bit, I was a little bit ill there for a while.
Dave Margolis: I know you were. You made a tremendous comeback. And we had...
Phil Gordon: Yeah, I want to, I want to tell you a little bit about it. You know, I was in the hospital for a while.
Dave Margolis: Oh.
Phil Gordon: And, uh, I went in, uh, for a, uh, procedure where they had to go through the groin, Dave. Ouch.
Dave Margolis: oh
Phil Gordon: Okay. I heard, I heard someone chime in with penis enlargement. You know, I can read lips. I can read lips. right. Let's just say Dave that I had a procedure. Okay.
Phil Gordon: And, uh, It was something. And being in the hospital is really a challenge. You know, I was in really for about a couple of months. And they're always coming in. They wake up like every couple of hours to take your blood or to give you a pill.
Phil Gordon: And it really gets annoying. They also, they give you these water pills, Dave, where they make you pee. And by by noon every day, I'm peeing like a power washer.
Phil Gordon: But, you know, Dave, it's led to a very lucrative side hustle for me. Now they strap me to a drone and they fly me over forest fires.
Dave Margolis: Is
Dave Margolis: that right? Perfect.
Phil Gordon: And before this whole thing was over, Dave, I was so sick and tired of being poked and probed. I was just praying to be released. And when I was, I just wanted to be left alone.
Phil Gordon: So I went to see the Melania movie.
Phil Gordon: Yes, it was great. Have you seen it?
Dave Margolis: I know I haven't had the i haven't had the pleasure, no.
Phil Gordon: It is not good, Dave. But let me tell you, let me tell you something. We learn a lot about Melania.
Dave Margolis: Did it make you wish you were back in the hospital?
Phil Gordon: It's a documentary.
Dave Margolis: Was it that bad?
Phil Gordon: well Almost, almost. And you know, Melania is a very, very spiritual person, Dave.
Dave Margolis: I didn't know that.
Phil Gordon: Yes, and the film opened at the almost renamed Trump-Kennedy Center in Washington, D.C. And before the film, Melania held a seance to summon the spirit of JFK.
Phil Gordon: And she did. And when the film was over, JFK's spirit rose above the audience, looked down at the screen, and he shot himself in the head.
Dave Margolis: I thought there was a second shooter. There's JSA after watching Lion movie.
Phil Gordon: Yes. We'll talk about that later.
Dave Margolis: Okay.
Phil Gordon: And Dave, we we ah we we learned about how Donald and Melania met at a very romantic, secluded Mediterranean island. when he won her in a poker game with Prince Andrew and Jeffrey Epstein.
Phil Gordon: But of course, Melania knew the magic words to Donald's heart. You buy me new tits, I marry you.
Phil Gordon: And finally, Dave, we got a little glimpse, we get a little glimpse into the future plans for the Trumps after they leave the White House. It seems they're going to want to settle in a little quieter location, Hooterville.
Phil Gordon: not Not the Hooterville in Iowa, Dave. This is the strip club on 47th Street in Midtown Manhattan.
Dave Margolis: Oh, not Penteco Junction then. Yeah,
Phil Gordon: I'm just kidding, Dave. They're not leaving the White House. All right.
Dave Margolis: I know.
Phil Gordon: That's a little bit of a sample of the kind of stand-up you'll see from time and time on our show. But Dave, it wouldn't be possible without our friends at Zencaster or our sponsor, Craycroft Industries.
Dave Margolis: That's right.
Phil Gordon: You have a word from them.
Dave Margolis: Craycroft Industries has ah supported us for so long, Phil, going back to our time on the radio. And we really appreciate it because they are a Tucson legend for the many businesses that they have. And right now we'd like to welcome our new sponsor, Craycroft Tattoo Removal.
Dave Margolis: Craycroft Tattoo Removal, where their motto is, if you've made a huge mistake, we'll burn the hell out of it.
Phil Gordon: Oh.
Dave Margolis: For example, did you specifically specifically ask for YOLO and end up with yo-yo all over your chest? Does that prison prison tattoo teardrop unfortunately look more like a petunia? Are you a college professor who asked to be sleeved and wound up with tweed patches tattooed your elbows?
Dave Margolis: Well, head on over to Craigcroft Tattoo Removal, and if tattoos aren't your thing, check out their extensive array of facial scars. Yes, there's nothing like a facial scar to say I'm hot, I'm dangerous, and I lead a very difficult existence. That's Craigcroft Tattoo Removal, 1.30 to 70 East Wilmot, open every day from 2 p.m. until the meth runs out. That's our good friends of Krayfroth tattoo removal.
Dave Margolis: We'll be hearing from some of our other businesses later
Phil Gordon: Thank you. Thank you, Dave. And thank you, Craycroft Industries. They're a wonderful sponsor, ah a pillar of the Tucson community. And very, very...
Dave Margolis: So good, guys. And right over there, am 137 Wilmot, where all the action takes place in Tucson.
Phil Gordon: Yes, very generous, very generous folks. We hope all the folks at Craycroft are having a great 4th of July. This is Phil Gordon and Dave Margolis coming to you from our nation's capital, high above the Great American State Fair on July 4th, 2026. We're so happy to be here. Dave, the fair has so many events. We we only touched on them when we opened the show.
Phil Gordon: there are There's entertainment, entertainment, There's great food at the food court. And there are booths representing every state that participated.
Phil Gordon: Every state was invited. Not every state participated. It tended to be you know, and not that this country is divided, Dave, but it tended to be the red states that showed up at this event.
Dave Margolis: I think New Hampshire was washing its hair, couldn't make it.
Phil Gordon: That's right, Bill.
Dave Margolis: ah Some of them just couldn't couldnt be there for vague reasons, you know.
Phil Gordon: Right.
Dave Margolis: there was
Phil Gordon: and Minnesota is is not here. Most of the people that live in Minnesota are hiding in their houses, so it didn't seem like they'd be coming out for this. um And Dave, let's talk a little bit about the the entertainment that is scheduled and was scheduled.
Phil Gordon: It turns out the the headliner for the show was Martina McBride. Unfortunately, she is canceled.
Dave Margolis: Country star, sure.
Phil Gordon: Flo Riedel.
Dave Margolis: yes Yeah, coincidentally she had a big hit called Independence Day. That was one of her bigger hits.
Phil Gordon: and didn I didn't realize that.
Dave Margolis: Flo Rida, Flo Rida.
Phil Gordon: Okay. Well, no doubt she was going to do that, but she canceled and you know, you can only speculate why. Florida was scheduled, Dave, and Florida has canceled.
Dave Margolis: Flo Rida, Flo Rida.
Phil Gordon: Ryder, I saying that wrong?
Dave Margolis: write it flu rid it
Phil Gordon: I see a rapper. Is she Dave?
Dave Margolis: Flo Rida is a, I don't know what's rap or hip hop or anything like that, but I think Flo Rida had a hit song called Low, I think.
Phil Gordon: Okay. Okay.
Dave Margolis: Shorty gets low, I think.
Phil Gordon: Okay. you're You're more on top of this than I am, I must say.
Dave Margolis: Well, you know, I'm a bit of Well,
Phil Gordon: I listen mostly to klezmer music, Dave. so
Phil Gordon: Brett Michaels. Brett Michaels was scheduled to perform, and apparently Mr.
Dave Margolis: uh-huh.
Phil Gordon: Michaels has canceled now.
Dave Margolis: We had better things to do. That's...
Phil Gordon: Okay, that's good.
Dave Margolis: utterably
Phil Gordon: So oh let's start with who is going to be there, Dave, because, you know, we don't want to be we don't want to be labeled as fake press or negative press, you know, by the president.
Phil Gordon: That's not our intention here.
Dave Margolis: don't know.
Phil Gordon: We have nothing but the ultimate in respect.
Dave Margolis: We're apolitical.
Phil Gordon: I think I demonstrated that in my comments about Melania, the first lady.
Dave Margolis: Right. Yeah, no. Phil, I'm apolitical. That means every ah November i vote for an ape.
Dave Margolis: That's my best choice. Now, I see you have on your monitor there, you have Trump, Vance.
Phil Gordon: and
Dave Margolis: Who is behind them the days there? That's...
Phil Gordon: Dave, they're getting ready. Our camera is trained on the Arizona booth, which is a hosted by, oh my gosh, her name is escaping me at the moment, Carrie Lake, the former gubernatorial candidate and the nominee for ambassador to Jamaica.
Dave Margolis: Oh wow, okay.
Phil Gordon: Dave, so that's one of the first booths we're going to be visiting. But I wanted to continue with the entertainment. ah The new hosts now for the program is going to be Steve Harvey and Michael Richards, Dave.
Dave Margolis: Oh, wow, okay.
Phil Gordon: Yeah, so a couple of...
Dave Margolis: They're gonna do, I believe they're gonna open with a rendition of Ebony and Ivory.
Phil Gordon: Oh, right.
Dave Margolis: Yeah.
Phil Gordon: Steve Harvey, of course, will give you whatever any results you want. He'll announce it.
Dave Margolis: yeah
Phil Gordon: And he should have been hosting the 2020 election. and That would have turned out better for the president.
Dave Margolis: yeah
Phil Gordon: And Michael Richards, you know, obviously trying to make a little bit of a comeback after the snafu with some, you know, deemed racist kind of comments and his attempts at stand up.
Phil Gordon: ah Also, Dave, the representatives from from all kinds of entertainment world, ah what better film star to speak on behalf of the Trump administration than Mel Gibson, Dave?
Dave Margolis: Oh, of course. Right. Mel, Mel.
Phil Gordon: Mel is open-minded, and he's being kept in an alcohol-free container until the start of the show. ah
Dave Margolis: going to.
Phil Gordon: world of sports The world of sports, Dave, highly recommend it.
Dave Margolis: Sure.
Phil Gordon: And just, you know, let's clear the air here, Dave. A lot of the innuendo has been towards racism, towards Black people in this country. You know, Michael Richards, oh Steve Harvey had made some comments.
Phil Gordon: In this case, they brought in a big sports star who has not made racist statements to the Black community, and that's Shaquille O'Neal.
Dave Margolis: Oh, Shaq, sure. hu
Phil Gordon: Yeah, who's made racist comments toward the Asian community, Dave.
Phil Gordon: We understand...
Dave Margolis: Well, judging by the general commercials and the various, kind and I don't think there's anything Shaquille O'Neal will not do.
Phil Gordon: That's true.
Dave Margolis: Yeah, yeah.
Phil Gordon: That's true. But he does it well. ah you're Very likable. I don't know how he'd feel about, you know, representing an Asian product after some of the comments he made, but we'll we'll find out.
Phil Gordon: And, you know, not to to be sexist in any way, also Tila Tequila, who you probably remember from the early days of the Internet.
Dave Margolis: Wow. That's been a while. Yeah. Oh,
Phil Gordon: also had made some unusual comments about the Asian community. And that's probably why we haven't seen her in a while.
Dave Margolis: Andy. This is quite a reg here.
Phil Gordon: And then da Dave joining Mel Gibson in the dry tank will be Andy Dick, who's likely play anything after a couple of drinks.
Dave Margolis: Yeah.
Dave Margolis: quite at there quite in a rag here quite a roster
Phil Gordon: That's quite a lineup. Wow. Quite a lineup, I'd say. Yeah.
Dave Margolis: and I understand that Milli Vanilla was supposed to be there, although one of them passed away.
Phil Gordon: Milli Vanilli also canceled, I believe.
Dave Margolis: That got cancelled, and lately I think Vanilla Ice did as well, and Vanilla Ice was like...
Phil Gordon: You know, and they would have been so perfect because what's more vanilla than the Trump administration did? You know what, let's move on to some of the great food that's going to be on display. First off, let me remind the audience, we learned this earlier, I tried to get a cup of coffee and I went to the vending tent, Dave, that before the food court opens, they have a vending room, ah but it only accepts Trump crypto coins, Dave.
Dave Margolis: And how many millions does a cup of coffee cost?
Phil Gordon: Yeah.
Phil Gordon: Yes, you have to make a little bit of a donation to get a crypto coin. They sell them right there. There's Eric and Don Jr. are right at the booth. So that was a that was a super thing. I took a selfie. I don't have it to call up right yet, but we will in a future show.
Phil Gordon: But that was a thrill. That was a great thrill.
Dave Margolis: Did you catch the quote from the president the other day talking about his sons and saying he was looking forward to having a threesome with them?
Phil Gordon: I hope he was talking about golf, Dave.
Dave Margolis: Who knows? Who knows?
Phil Gordon: Well, the and the food director for the entire event, Dave, who better than Paula Deen?
Dave Margolis: Oh, apology. Perfect. That's perfect.
Phil Gordon: Paula Deen.
Dave Margolis: Yeah.
Phil Gordon: And she's going to be doing a cooking demonstration later, Dave, just to, as we say, diversity is certainly a theme for this great American state fair.
Phil Gordon: And she's going to be doing two kinds of beans, and She's going to be doing Black Eyed Peas and also Frijoles. And they're both going to be sitting under ice, Dave.
Phil Gordon: And that's a tribute to those two groups. Paula Deen and her charming Southern accent, Dave, will be.
Dave Margolis: great that she's going to be there because generally this time here she's busy going shopping for lawn jockeys so she could take ah some time away from that because she has a vast collection i think
Phil Gordon: i I'll see you at that time for sure.
Phil Gordon: Yes. Are you referring to the sleeping garment or the donut, Dave?
Dave Margolis: that they would have this lawyer coming out yeah
Phil Gordon: The donut. love those. Absolutely love them. I'm sure she makes a terrific long job. So that's happening. And also, Dave, not to be undercut, ah there's quite an emphasis on science and technology also at this great American State Fair.
Dave Margolis: Really, that's strange.
Phil Gordon: Oh, yeah. the the It's the science tent they have, Dave. And this is really exciting. I hope you'll join me for some of these lectures. They've got, it's called the Truth and Conspiracy Science Tent.
Dave Margolis: Oh, truth and conspiracy.
Phil Gordon: And it's going to be hosted by Secretary of Health and Human Services, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Dave.
Dave Margolis: Oh, great. ah Thank God there's an expert there.
Phil Gordon: Who... Oh, on science and certainly I'm sure the vaccines will come up.
Dave Margolis: One
Phil Gordon: Also, Dave, another great representative, well-respected member of the Trump administration, Dr. Mehmet Oz, Dave, will be in the tent.
Dave Margolis: of the holders.
Phil Gordon: the I believe the the administrator for Medicare and Medicaid. He'll be there. Also then, Dave, they're going to address some other conspiracies and set the record straight.
Phil Gordon: You know how, for years, Dave, the Trump administration has talked about bringing forth the evidence of the Stop the Steal movement from the 2020 election?
Dave Margolis: but one Long overdue, Phil, long overdue.
Phil Gordon: Well, guess who's going to be there, Dave? An old friend of ours, Rudolph Giuliani.
Dave Margolis: Rudy, okay, right
Phil Gordon: will be presenting the evidence today that he's been collecting along with Mike Liddell, the pillow guy, Dave.
Dave Margolis: all right. Last time I heard about Rudy, he was he was near death.
Phil Gordon: Yeah.
Dave Margolis: I'm sorry he didn't get a little closer.
Phil Gordon: Well, he came pretty close. I know we were rooting for him, but he's pulled through and he's going to be at the tent. Let's, we got to stop by and say hello.
Dave Margolis: like And Mike, the pillow guy's going to be there, you say. Mr. mr Pillow.
Phil Gordon: Yes. Yes. And, uh, Also, Dave, Dr. Oz is going to lead an exploratory ah examination and also give you the facts on why Michelle Obama is a man.
Dave Margolis: Okay.
Phil Gordon: So you'll get a little more science there.
Dave Margolis: Everybody knows it, but it'll be nice to have proof of that or something.
Phil Gordon: Yeah, and here's one I absolutely know you're going to want to go to, Dave. They've enlisted, of course, ah RFK Jr. to host a JFK assassination conspiracy discussion.
Dave Margolis: Oh, I'm very interested in that. Yeah.
Phil Gordon: So I hope you'll go to that. I'd like to go to all of them. I hope they're not simultaneous because I don't know which one I would miss.
Dave Margolis: Yeah, it's tough. Yeah. Yeah. And to fight through the crowds too. is
Phil Gordon: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Dave Margolis: If they're not in the same venue, you're going to be pushing a lot of people out of the way to get to the other
Phil Gordon: Right. Dave, you know, a a hallmark, a feature of our previous shows, particularly Is This On?, our radio show, which I'd like to let the audience know is still available as a podcast.
Phil Gordon: You can search it on anywhere you get your podcast, Apple, Spotify. There were some great shows there. You'll hear Rudy Giuliani, a frequent guest.
Dave Margolis: yeah.
Phil Gordon: And this might be a good time to talk about some of the guests that we hope to get on this show in the future that were Is This On regulars.
Dave Margolis: Well, if somebody wanted to listen to our podcast, they would go to a KMKR, is that correct? Or they would go to to any place sir podcasts are sold.
Phil Gordon: No, just to Spotify or Apple.
Dave Margolis: They can find it.
Phil Gordon: That's right.
Dave Margolis: could
Phil Gordon: Is this on with a question mark, Dave?
Dave Margolis: Is this on
Phil Gordon: Is this on with a question mark? And I hope you'll enjoy those. A favorite episode, I think our most listened to episode was the New Year's Eve parade in Tucson.
Phil Gordon: The annual New Year's Eve parade.
Dave Margolis: on? 137th annual Old Pueblo parade that we braved the cold for that film.
Phil Gordon: Yeah.
Dave Margolis: Braved the cold.
Phil Gordon: Dave, let's give a shout out a shout out to some of the guests that were regulars on ITO. We used to call it ITO. Bernie Sanders was a regular.
Dave Margolis: Yeah? yep
Phil Gordon: Prince Andrew would stop by from time to time.
Dave Margolis: There's Andrew, Sean Connery came back from the dead to be on the show
Phil Gordon: Sean Connery, we were able ah to to to speak to in heaven, I believe. Al Pacino was a regular.
Dave Margolis: on the show. He was in Heaven and Green Valley, both.
Phil Gordon: Yes, he was. We found him in Green Valley.
Dave Margolis: They're very similar.
Phil Gordon: That's right. Al Pacino, a regular. I think Mr. Pacino used to do some cooking demonstrations on our show.
Dave Margolis: They're cooking shop for us, yes.
Phil Gordon: We were able to also, Dave, as I recall, to summon the spirit of Elvis.
Dave Margolis: Elvis came by, true. And of course, our president came by, Donald Trump.
Phil Gordon: The president goes by regularly. Absolutely. So many, many guests. We we hope to get them back and participating on our future shows.
Dave Margolis: We have open borders.
Phil Gordon: And yeah.
Dave Margolis: Anybody can come and be on our show.
Phil Gordon: Yeah.
Dave Margolis: Completely open borders. We don't care if they're a Somalian or but whatever. i have a cat and a dog. Your appetite will be zapped.
Phil Gordon: Red or blue state, doesn't matter to us. Dave, another thing that people always look forward to was a regular feature on our show, and that was key moments of the month.
Dave Margolis: Oh, of course, yes.
Phil Gordon: And I know that you've been collecting important dates in July.
Dave Margolis: I'm going to fill you in on what's going on and what has happened in July 1st of all.
Phil Gordon: We'd love to hear them.
Dave Margolis: July 1st, which was a few days ago, that was Canada Day, Phil. Canada Day, our neighbors to the north.
Phil Gordon: Oh.
Dave Margolis: And i the one day a year, the Toronto Blue Jays, they wear their red uniforms in honor of Canada Day, and they look great. And that's a big day up in Canada. Now, July 3rd, that was yesterday, Phil. Now, July 3rd, according to the Old Farmer's Almanac, is the beginning of the dog days of summer.
Dave Margolis: Phil, you with the dog days, Phil?
Phil Gordon: Oh, yeah. woof
Dave Margolis: yeah Now, they you know why they call them the dog days? Well, the dog days are when it gets very, very hot and sticky and kind of miserable. And know why they call him the dog days?
Phil Gordon: I see.
Phil Gordon: No.
Dave Margolis: They call them the dog days because that's when the star Sirius, which is the dog star, Sirius is visible on the Eastern horizon in the morning. And then they go, that's the beginning of the dog days.
Dave Margolis: And that's a couple of months.
Phil Gordon: Wow. Dave, you should be in the science tent.
Dave Margolis: I got all kinds of stuff here. Now, July 5th, as you know, or may not know, is Emancipation Day. And that was a big day African-Americans, obviously. And on that day, Frederick Douglass, who is very good friends with President Trump, they hang out a lot.
Dave Margolis: Frederick Douglass did his favorite, what is a slave on Independence Day? And kind of opened up people's eyes about our so-called free country, which was treating its black people very badly. Tomorrow, I am the sixth, actually. I'm very excited about one of my favorite days, National Fried Chicken Day.
Dave Margolis: Fan of fried chicken, Phil?
Phil Gordon: Oh, love it.
Dave Margolis: Love it, love it Tomorrow, the 6th, Fried Chicken Day. I think i think the 7th, yeah, I didn't write it down, but Birthday of Satchel Paige, the immortal baseball player.
Phil Gordon: Wow. Can you imagine how good the fried chicken is when Paula Dean makes it?
Phil Gordon: We'll have to speak to her if we go down to the tent.
Dave Margolis: It's cotton pick and finger licking good, is what it is.
Phil Gordon: that young
Dave Margolis: We'll it Dean. July 10th, I got this, Phil, this is up. July 10th is Beatles Day. Beatles, the great group. It is celebrated in two European cities. Can you tell me what those cities are where they celebrate Beatles day?
Phil Gordon: Well, I'm going to have to guess Liverpool.
Dave Margolis: That's one of them.
Phil Gordon: Liverpool. And then a little bit of a wild guess, but I'm going to show a little bit of my knowledge of Beatles history here. Their early ah success were performances that they did in Hamburg, Germany.
Dave Margolis: You have absolutely nailed it. That is absolutely right.
Phil Gordon: Wow. Wow. We did not speak about that before the show, Dave.
Dave Margolis: Bravo. We did not discuss this at all, but you knew that they...
Phil Gordon: like I'm quite a Beatles fan. I'm as much a Beatles fan as you are a JFK conspiracy theorist, Dave.
Dave Margolis: happy
Dave Margolis: Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah. They had they played in what, the Cavern Club in Hamburg? Was it that where they...
Phil Gordon: Yeah. Yeah, the Cavern Club. Absolutely right.
Dave Margolis: They were quite well known there. You're going love this one, Phil. This one's just from July 15th. It's Elderly Men Day.
Phil Gordon: Oh, what happens now?
Dave Margolis: Elderly Men Day. And... And the men's rooms all across the country will be reserved only for those 65 and over. We we need them. We need more and more urinals these days.
Phil Gordon: Oh, there'll still be a lie, Dave.
Dave Margolis: July 23rd, another one of my favorite days, of course, it relates to food. That's National Hot Dog Day. And I am a big fan of hot dogs.
Phil Gordon: Nope.
Dave Margolis: I was thinking, could I eat hot dogs every day? Probably not. I would get tired of it. But there have been plenty of times I've attended a three-game series at Dodger Stadium, and I haven't. Dodger dogs every day.
Dave Margolis: So that's three days.
Phil Gordon: Oh, Dave, am I misremembering?
Dave Margolis: that was coming what level i believe they're not technically a foot long anymore.
Phil Gordon: I've been to Dodger Stadium. Are they a foot long?
Dave Margolis: I think they're about 10 inches.
Phil Gordon: Okay.
Dave Margolis: But Phil, as far as I know, 10 inches will satisfy you. I understand it.
Phil Gordon: might like That's a dream, Dave.
Dave Margolis: and Let's go through some July birthdays. On the 1st of July, it was that they think this place I took them from. They paired them chosen two people for each day. And sometimes the pairs are kind of strange.
Phil Gordon: Oh, okay.
Dave Margolis: Like July 1st is the birthday of the late Princess Diana.
Phil Gordon: Yeah.
Dave Margolis: And also also the birthday of Canada's Dan Aykroyd. Great Dan Aykroyd.
Phil Gordon: Yeah, we love Dan Aykroyd.
Dave Margolis: love Dan Aykroyd. And that was their date. The July 3rd, you know, Tom Cruise was in the movie Born on the 4th of July.
Phil Gordon: Oh, great film.
Dave Margolis: Cruise. Tom Cruise was born on the 3rd of July.
Phil Gordon: Yeah.
Dave Margolis: was actually born on July 3rd.
Phil Gordon: Wow. Also a very patriotic film.
Dave Margolis: As was Franz Kafka. I don't know if there's a connection between the two, but, you know, as far as...
Phil Gordon: Wow.
Phil Gordon: Probably many.
Dave Margolis: I don't think Tom Cruise has ever been a cockroach, but he could do it. He could do it.
Phil Gordon: Yeah. Oh, the range is unlimited, Dave.
Dave Margolis: Okay, one one president was born on the 4th of July.
Phil Gordon: Wow.
Dave Margolis: You got to guess who that might be?
Phil Gordon: ah we well we We know it was not Donald Trump because that UFC Freedom 250 was held on his birthday, which was June 14th.
Dave Margolis: He just had his birthday, right? And we know Washington and Lincoln are in February.
Phil Gordon: June 14th.
Dave Margolis: So do you know who the president was born the 4th of July?
Phil Gordon: june fourteenth
Phil Gordon: Wow. I'm just going to take a wild stab, it I'm going to say Herbert Hoover.
Dave Margolis: Well, your time frame is pretty good. Let me just say he was a man of few words. And he was born on the 4th of July. The great...
Phil Gordon: I'm not as good on this as I am on the Beatles, Dave.
Dave Margolis: Silent Cal, Calvin Coolidge was born on July 4th.
Phil Gordon: Kelvin Coolidge. Okay. Happy birthday, President Coolidge.
Dave Margolis: Now three presidents died on the 4th of July.
Phil Gordon: Oh, no.
Dave Margolis: Two of them were Jefferson and Adams who died short, you' very close together. I mean, time-wise, like within a couple hours.
Phil Gordon: Wow.
Dave Margolis: Also, I think man Monroe was the third one, James Monroe, I think, was on the 4th of July.
Phil Gordon: Wow.
Phil Gordon: Oh, James Monroe. Okay. Well, that's kind of sad in a way, but, you know, interesting to note.
Dave Margolis: It's easy to remember, you know.
Phil Gordon: There you go.
Dave Margolis: ah July 6th is the birthday of Sylvester Stallone. Kevin Hart and and the Dalai Lama.
Phil Gordon: Slide. Mm-hmm.
Dave Margolis: And I'll tell you, of the three, I find the Dalai Lama easiest to understand. But if you speak in Hindu, I can understand it better than Kevin Hart or Sly Stallone.
Phil Gordon: You, Adrian.
Phil Gordon: First I slice the one who's still doing a show these days, right? He plays like a lobster.
Dave Margolis: Oh yeah. Yeah, Tulsa something.
Phil Gordon: Tulsa, very good.
Dave Margolis: Tulsa King. Tulsa King.
Phil Gordon: Tulsa King, very good. Yeah.
Dave Margolis: July 8th, that's the birthday of favorite of mine, Kevin Bacon. always liked Kevin Bacon when he appears in movies and TV shows. Also on July 8th, Jaden Smith, the untalented son of Will Smith.
Phil Gordon: Yeah.
Dave Margolis: for play here's like Here's a good combo.
Phil Gordon: Oh,
Dave Margolis: On July 9th, it's Tom Hanks' birthday and also Courtney Love. Don't really think of those hanging out together.
Phil Gordon: Courtney Love. us Sober these days, Dave?
Dave Margolis: I don't know. Harrison Ford was born on the 13th of July. Harrison Ford.
Phil Gordon: Oh,
Dave Margolis: We pop in our show now and then. i like
Phil Gordon: that's right, Mr. Fjordwood, yes.
Dave Margolis: On the 16th of July, Will Ferrell, birthday.
Phil Gordon: Oh.
Dave Margolis: And Corey Feldman. Remember Corey Feldman? Kind of a sad Hollywood case.
Phil Gordon: Sure.
Dave Margolis: Kristen Bell and Vin Diesel were born on the 18th of July.
Phil Gordon: Wow.
Dave Margolis: what do we got here? Okay, the of July.
Phil Gordon: Love Kristen Bell.
Dave Margolis: J-Lo, Jennifer Lopez, born on the 24th. She's in her 50s now. you know She still looks fantastic.
Phil Gordon: Oh, still still a great dancer, Dave.
Dave Margolis: so Speaking of dancers, July 26th, Mick Jagger turns 150. And fifty
Phil Gordon: Wow.
Dave Margolis: the so July 27th, the great Maya Rudolph celebrates her birthday.
Phil Gordon: Maya Rudolph, so talented also.
Dave Margolis: So, A-Rock, Alex Rodriguez, happy birthday, same day.
Phil Gordon: Oh, well.
Dave Margolis: I think I've got one i got one more.
Phil Gordon: Wait, did you mention Jennifer Lopez earlier?
Dave Margolis: Yeah, yeah. They were...
Phil Gordon: And they were they were married.
Dave Margolis: Were they married? They were, yeah, they worked together for a while.
Phil Gordon: Alex Rodriguez and Jennifer Lopez, I believe, were married.
Dave Margolis: Yeah, yeah. July 31st is the birthday of, can you guess your favorite wizard? July 31st, birthday of Harry Potter.
Phil Gordon: Wow. I was going to say Michael Jordan, who played for the Wizards for some time.
Dave Margolis: and
Dave Margolis: And not surprisingly, July 31st is also the birthday of J.K. Rowling, the author of the Harry Potter books, so.
Phil Gordon: Oh, wow. You did a lot of research there, Dave.
Dave Margolis: That's July, yeah, yeah, bro. I like that.
Phil Gordon: You've been busy.
Dave Margolis: i like I like the research.
Phil Gordon: I hope it was air conditioned where you were researching.
Dave Margolis: I was sitting on a block of ice at the time. so
Phil Gordon: Whoa. but That's better than ice sitting on you, Dave.
Phil Gordon: All right.
Dave Margolis: So that's all have there.
Phil Gordon: Well, thank you very much for that.
Dave Margolis: That's the events of July.
Phil Gordon: ah Yeah, the important date of the month as a regular feature was a regular feature on ITO and Laughing Liberally.
Dave Margolis: to
Phil Gordon: And we hope to make it a regular feature here on our brand new show, Laughing Liberally Arizona. We'll remind you, and I'm Phil Gordon with my co-host Dave Margolis.
Phil Gordon: You're listening to... Laughing Liberally Arizona today coming to you live from the great American State Fair in Washington, D.C. Dave, I put up on our graphics. So we were talking earlier about the vending area that accepts only Trump crypto coins.
Phil Gordon: Here's what they look like. Our president etched in gold, Dave.
Dave Margolis: I see that. no
Phil Gordon: Yeah. Well, now we would like to, in the remaining time we have on the show, take a visit at least where we can see it from here. Dave, you've got your binoculars.
Phil Gordon: Take a look down at the state tents, the states that showed up.
Dave Margolis: Oh, there's all this great text lined up there. Wow. Look at that. Yeah.
Phil Gordon: Yeah, we're going to go first, Dave, to our home state, because this is Laughing Liberally Arizona, down to our Arizona tent. And of course, who's going to host that but Carrie Lake, who we talked about a little while ago.
Dave Margolis: Very good. Wow.
Phil Gordon: Dave, the theme of the Arizona state tent is America's Flame Burns Bright. It is an ongoing show of patriotic songs and poetry readings.
Phil Gordon: And if you look closely on the sign, it says, America's flame burns bright, but the filter on my face is turned down, says Carrie Lake.
Phil Gordon: And Carrie Lake gave the...
Dave Margolis: I think, believe, there are some corporate sponsors, and I believe America Flamesprite is sponsored by ah the good folks at Preparation H.
Phil Gordon: Yes.
Dave Margolis: So, I've relied on them many times, and I salute them.
Phil Gordon: Speaking of flaming, yes. Oh, that can burn white hot.
Dave Margolis: Of all the preparations, they're my favorite.
Phil Gordon: We should talk to them about sponsorship.
Phil Gordon: You know, a little update on Miss Lake, if I can, Dave, you know, she was a candidate for governor in the mower most recent, I guess that would have been the 2020 race for governor in California.
Phil Gordon: Arizona. And she unfortunately lost that race. It was very closely challenged. In fact, the Stop the Steal may have some information on that race, and that could be changing for all we know.
Phil Gordon: and Remember all that in Arizona with the group? What was the name of that group that was investigating the election results? It was kind of an odd name.
Dave Margolis: I know they were morons, but I can't remember the name. I don't know. Yeah, it was some kind of funky high tech famous.
Phil Gordon: Yeah, it was a funky data company or something.
Dave Margolis: Yeah, it was Acme data company.
Phil Gordon: Anyway, so...
Phil Gordon: Yes, there you go.
Dave Margolis: It was Acme.
Phil Gordon: ah But, you know, a lot has happened for Carrie Wood since then. She is the nominee to be the ambassador to Jamaica. Did you know that, Dave?
Dave Margolis: I was hoping I was in the running for that. was,
Phil Gordon: but You could be in the running. She's just nominating. I'll vote for you, Dave. And of course, so let's let prior to that, by the way, she was running the something to do with the Information Agency and the Voice of America.
Dave Margolis: Voice of America, yeah, yeah, yeah. Didn't she describe Voice of America?
Phil Gordon: I think she was trying to shut that down, actually.
Dave Margolis: Yeah, yeah.
Phil Gordon: Or the Voice of America had laryngitis during the Gary Lake tenure.
Dave Margolis: It was the raspy Voice of America.
Phil Gordon: But do you know what her qualifications are, Dave, to be the ambassador in Zeneca?
Dave Margolis: I would think that she has not, but go ahead.
Phil Gordon: Well, probably her foremost qualification to be the ambassador to Jamaica is that she had hired a Jamaican cleaning lady, Dave.
Dave Margolis: Oh, I see.
Phil Gordon: and and and and And for the record, did report it on her taxes.
Dave Margolis: Oh, she did. She did own up to that.
Phil Gordon: She did. as She would. You know, she would. And then her other um qualification, Dave, is she always orders the Jamaican jerk chicken at Chick-fil-A.
Phil Gordon: So there you go. I don't know how you could be more qualified than that.
Dave Margolis: Well, you know, a lot of places they name their entrees after celebrities and famous people. So maybe that'll be the Carrie Lake jerk chicken.
Phil Gordon: Oh, course, like, ah you know, get get yourself a Sammy Davis Jr. sandwich. at Yeah.
Dave Margolis: Yeah. harryry lake jerked chicken yeah
Phil Gordon: Or just, ah you know, you can shorten it. You know how they do that in restaurants, right? With the abbreviations, you say, what a jerk, you know, get me a jerk.
Dave Margolis: I'll just take a jerk. Oh, another Carrie Lake, please. no So, wow, that's something.
Phil Gordon: no We wish her well. We wish her well. I don't know how much more fortunate the people of Jamaica could be, Dave, than to have a representative like that.
Dave Margolis: Yeah. Yeah.
Phil Gordon: So that's our visit looking down at the Arizona booth. Dave, what booth are you going to visit?
Dave Margolis: Well, Phil, you know, no state celebrates its imagined bravery more than the state of Texas.
Phil Gordon: Oh, that's
Dave Margolis: And it makes sense that their contribution to the U.S. County Fair is a salute to what really happened at the Alamo, featuring Jim Bowie hiding under a bed and Davy Crockett dressed up as 19th century shantoose Lily Langtree.
Dave Margolis: That's how they managed whiskey.
Phil Gordon: Oh,
Dave Margolis: You know, Phil, when I was a kid, they never taught me about the Alamo.
Phil Gordon: yeah.
Dave Margolis: I don't know because I lived in Ohio, but I didn't know anything about the Alamo except what I picked up from cartoons and things like that. And I assumed that the Alamo was this heroic, great heroic victory over the Mexicans. But we actually got our, well, the Texans got their asses kicked.
Dave Margolis: And in Texas, if Texas, that's one of the great celebrations of heroism is the Alamo.
Phil Gordon: Uh-huh.
Dave Margolis: When when they got, kicked their asses kicked by Mexicans, so now they hate Mexicans. Anyway, Texas, Phil, you may have heard this, Texas has also introduced its new state motto, Texas, we're Florida with bigger hats.
Phil Gordon: I see.
Dave Margolis: That's what they are, Florida with bigger hats. So that's Texas.
Phil Gordon: Speaking of which, Dave, i've I've been able to get a photo from our roving reporter down there of the Texas booth.
Phil Gordon: And there's a big hat right there and a big Texan.
Dave Margolis: Yeah, I think that's also the stands outside of Cummings Plumbing over on Stone and Grant.
Phil Gordon: don't Don't give away my secrets, Dave.
Dave Margolis: i Cummings plumbing. ah
Phil Gordon: Yes.
Dave Margolis: You want to do another state here, Phil?
Phil Gordon: Yeah, go ahead.
Dave Margolis: All right, Georgia. This one will appeal to our commander-in-chief. Georgia's exhibit features a solid gold toilet bowl, Phil, brimming to the rim with 11,780 votes.
Phil Gordon: Wow. Wow, we're wow, wow.
Dave Margolis: The exact number Trump begged the Secretary of State for, so he's going to love that.
Dave Margolis: Have you got another state you're looking at there, Phil, that you can fill us in on?
Phil Gordon: Oh, I do, Dave. In fact, we're going to go down to the ah
Phil Gordon: Pennsylvania, Dave.
Dave Margolis: I'm Pennsylvania.
Phil Gordon: Pennsylvania. And here ah we get a great chance. We didn't mention them when we talked about our recurring guests on ITO and Laughing Liberally. But, you know, we get a regular visit from the 2,000-year-old man.
Dave Margolis: Oh, that's right. Yep.
Phil Gordon: And we have sent the 2000 year old man down to the food tent, Dave. Yeah, we're going to make a connection with him here soon. But let's just give you a little bit of background before we do.
Phil Gordon: I'm ah i'm getting at it in my earphone, Dave. He is down there at the Pennsylvania tent ready to report to us.
Dave Margolis: Okay.
Dave Margolis: Okay.
Phil Gordon: ah
Dave Margolis: happy Happy to talk
Phil Gordon: But and oh, we love we love the 2000 year old man. ah And of course, in fact, I was going to guess him when you said who else had the July 4th birthday.
Phil Gordon: but But it was not the 2000 year old man, but a great friend of ours.
Dave Margolis: be. Okay.
Phil Gordon: And um Dave, Pennsylvania is doing what they call the diversity booth. And i don't know if you know this or if our viewers are aware of this, but of all the states,
Phil Gordon: the state that has both the highest Palestinian population, the highest Jewish population is Pennsylvania, believe it or not.
Dave Margolis: Hmm.
Dave Margolis: Is that right? Wow, that is surprising. Hmm.
Dave Margolis: Hmm.
Phil Gordon: And yeah, and this is a representation, I guess the 2000 year old man is sending us this photo.
Dave Margolis: What are we looking at here on your monitor now, Phil?
Phil Gordon: These are tahuni bread. And they are served with hummus at the Pennsylvania tent. And they and are inviting people to visit both tents.
Dave Margolis: Nice.
Phil Gordon: And then at the Jewish side of the booth, they're serving Kishka and Kanishes, Dave, from the Kishki King. is there handing them out?
Phil Gordon: And people are encouraged to try both and share and, you know, share experiences, become friends. This is what diversity is all about. it
Dave Margolis: Sharing each other's cuisine can lead to helping to understand each other's point of view. It's beautiful.
Phil Gordon: Yes.
Dave Margolis: I
Phil Gordon: So, Dave, ah without any further ado, let's see if we can get the 2,000-year-old man here.
Dave Margolis: hope so.
Phil Gordon: I will leave you on the photograph of the tahuni bread, and let's see if we can get him. oh Hello?
Dave Margolis: Over here. Hey, there he is.
Phil Gordon: Is this Dave and Phil?
Dave Margolis: and Well, Dave's here. Yeah. Uh-huh.
Phil Gordon: Oh, so nice to see Dave. How are you?
Dave Margolis: I'm doing great. Happy 4th of July. If it's something that you, uh, you, uh, celebrate.
Phil Gordon: It's hot out here.
Dave Margolis: Hmm.
Phil Gordon: I'll tell you something else. I'm in this Pennsylvania tent, and they're looking at the the great choice. I love, that you know, no one loves a Kanish or a Kishki than me.
Phil Gordon: I'm having some of that, and I'm trying to be on baby be honest with you, I'm trying to do the hoony bread. It's very good. very very wait Wait a minute now. There is a yeah there's some kind of a commotion here. Let me and let me see what's going on.
Dave Margolis: What's going on?
Phil Gordon: a
Dave Margolis: We're live, by the way, folks.
Phil Gordon: Oh my God, Dave.
Dave Margolis: We're live here.
Phil Gordon: They're throwing the tahini bread. The Palestinians are hurling the tahini bread with hummus at the Jews.
Dave Margolis: Oh, no.
Phil Gordon: It explodes. then they do Now, all look out. The Jews are responding. they They're throwing kadishes and big salamis at the at the Palestinians. This is not good, Dave. Here comes security. I think we got some ICE officers coming in.
Dave Margolis: This is so sad.
Phil Gordon: oh my good Oh, my God. Oh, look out.
Dave Margolis: Are
Phil Gordon: oh Oh, ouch. oo oh oh
Dave Margolis: you okay, 2,000-year-old man?
Phil Gordon: mean
Dave Margolis: Are you all right?
Phil Gordon: Dave, we see we seem to have lost the two times. We've seen that lost a 2,000-year-old man. We're getting to a report. He apparently, Dave, was hit with a flying object.
Phil Gordon: they're they're bringing they're They've got the object. they're bringing it up here to me, Dave. This apparently was thrown out of the Jewish side of the tent.
Dave Margolis: Oh no, the kind of damage that that can do.
Phil Gordon: This is a large Romanian hard salami, Dave.
Dave Margolis: Wow.
Dave Margolis: Yeah. Wow.
Phil Gordon: Wow, that's got to hurt.
Dave Margolis: That would really do a lot of damage.
Phil Gordon: That hits you right in the head like that? If the 2,000-year-old man is down,
Dave Margolis: Wherever it hits you, that's going to hurt.
Phil Gordon: oh that's going to hurt. You know, if you bite into it on the way down, it's delicious. wash So the 2,000-year-old man is hurt, Dave.
Dave Margolis: I like to see, you're always looking up you're always looking on the bright side, Phil. You get hit by a Romanian sausage, take a bite out of it.
Phil Gordon: Right. Hang on. i' I'm learning more now, Dave. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. It's turned into a full brawl, Dave, between the Palestinians and the Jews that are at the exhibit.
Phil Gordon: And apparently the 2,000-year-old man has been taken hostage, Dave. There are apparently tunnels below the Palestinian tent.
Dave Margolis: Of course. yeah
Phil Gordon: We're going to have to find out more. Let's leave it at that. That is not good news.
Dave Margolis: I hope he's okay. This is not, Phil, this is not what the American speech fair is supposed to be about.
Phil Gordon: I hope he's okay.
Dave Margolis: It's supposed to be about sharing and getting together.
Phil Gordon: Wow. Well, fortunately, we know how good the president is at at freeing hostages.
Dave Margolis: Right, yeah, yeah.
Phil Gordon: So hopefully i'll work on that. We'll give you an update on our next show or hopefully by the end of the broadcast here, Dave.
Dave Margolis: Should be a few pardons coming up there.
Phil Gordon: what's ah we We wanted to show diversity and celebrate Pennsylvania, but it's starting to not agree with me, Dave.
Dave Margolis: America, I'll tell you, America is not america is thought about Jews and Palestinians fighting with each other.
Phil Gordon: Let's move on. Let's move on to another state.
Phil Gordon: No, it is not.
Dave Margolis: its about black It's about blacks and whites fighting against each other.
Phil Gordon: That's true.
Dave Margolis: That's America.
Phil Gordon: That's true.
Dave Margolis: All right.
Phil Gordon: And let me just say for the record, I love both hummus and tahini bread and hard salami.
Dave Margolis: a
Dave Margolis: That's it, you're very you're very open-minded. I was strolling down to the Alabama Pavilion. that then You know, Alabama is called the Yellow Hammer State.
Phil Gordon: Oh.
Dave Margolis: the Yellow Haber State, and they're very proud of the advances Alabama has made with its literacy program, Phil.
Phil Gordon: I didn't realize that.
Dave Margolis: And their their ah exhibit features 24 lovely contestants for Miss Alabama, one for each letter of the alphabet.
Phil Gordon: Oh.
Dave Margolis: Now, Phil, I know you're thinking that the alphabet has 26 letters, but Phil, they're trying really hard, so let's just give it to them.
Phil Gordon: Yeah. A for effort, Dave.
Dave Margolis: Let's see, South Carolina, one experience what it feels like to be president of the United States. Does that sound like fun, Bill?
Phil Gordon: Yeah.
Dave Margolis: The South Carolina exhibit allows you to see the world through President Trump's eyes. The Palmetto State's contribution features Lindsey Graham bending over a putt. That's what President Trump looks at every every weekend.
Phil Gordon: ah
Dave Margolis: Now, I am Trump, as you know, i'm my home state is Ohio. I grew up in Dayton, Ohio.
Phil Gordon: Welcome.
Dave Margolis: Ohio is known as the Buckeye State. And it's known as the cradle of inventors, as it was hoped to the inventors of the airplane, the cash register, and the automobile starter, among many others.
Phil Gordon: Wow.
Phil Gordon: The automobile starter.
Dave Margolis: Automobile starter was invented by Charles Kettering, and I grew up in a town called Kettering. It was named after him, that Dayton and Kettering, a lot of inventors there.
Phil Gordon: Oh, interesting.
Dave Margolis: and Now they're going to just display their two recent inventions in Ohio. First of all, the personal airbag for senior citizens. Put an end to those pesky, broken hips old timers with your own airbag.
Phil Gordon: How does that work?
Dave Margolis: And Phil, I love this one because you and I were both sports fans. We spent a lot of time in baseball stadiums.
Phil Gordon: Big fans. now
Dave Margolis: We spent a lot of times in men's room.
Phil Gordon: yeah
Dave Margolis: A long-awaited invention to improve the men's room experience.
Phil Gordon: Too much.
Dave Margolis: That is chewing gum that dissolves when it comes in contact with urine. Just imagine fellas draining the main vein without having to stare at something that's been in someone's mouth for six innings. So that's, that's from Ohio.
Phil Gordon: think you
Dave Margolis: I've got one more from Utah.
Phil Gordon: Do it quickly, Dave.
Dave Margolis: Utah celebrates.
Phil Gordon: we're We're wrapping it up here. we're running we got about three minutes to go.
Dave Margolis: Okay. Quickly here. Utah celebrates one of its favorite sons with the halls of Romney with an amazingly lifelike animatronic automaton honoring former governor Mitt Romney.
Phil Gordon: Oh.
Dave Margolis: Sure. Sure. Sure, it moves awkwardly and speaks in a robotic monotone, but oh, sorry, folks, that actually is Mitt Romney. As the Mormons say, oops. There you go. That's all states.
Dave Margolis: And we're, the clock is heading to straight up.
Phil Gordon: All right, Dave. one would one One quick lunch one. We got a couple of minutes to go. I just wanted to let you know I couldn't resist stopping by the Idaho booth, Dave.
Dave Margolis: Mm.
Phil Gordon: And they have a very interesting, you know, I love the booths where you can participate.
Dave Margolis: Yeah, those are great.
Phil Gordon: off your feet and and have a good time. And in Idaho, they have a participatory exhibit, Join the Aryan Nation.
Dave Margolis: Mm-hmm.
Phil Gordon: This is great. it's ah It's a recreation, Dave. It's a Ruby Ridge standoff simulation. And we encourage everybody to go down there and raise one arm and join the Aryan Nation for a day, Dave.
Phil Gordon: And as we get ready to wrap it up, I have been given
Dave Margolis: I want to say the great thing about bedsheets is one size fits all.
Phil Gordon: Oh, that's right. there You can get a discounted bed sheet there in Idaho, too. Dave, as we prepare to say goodbye, there's been an update. There's your lovely cat. got introduce the cat, Dave.
Dave Margolis: is Catty. This is my cat, Catty.
Phil Gordon: Okay, maybe you hear my dog Pumpernickel barking or hustling in the background.
Dave Margolis: I think that's why she showed up Let me show the dog down.
Phil Gordon: Barking at the cat. Dave, before we go, we want to let everybody know there's been an update in the entertainment ah list. This is a big one. Leave it to the Trumps to fix a bad situation.
Phil Gordon: There was, of course, we said Martina McBride ah backed out. Bret Michaels backed out. Well, The First Lady is stepping in, Dave.
Phil Gordon: And when the fair comes to a conclusion, everyone is invited over to the Lincoln Memorial. You could probably see the statue. We've got a photo of it up there now.
Phil Gordon: The First Lady, Dave, is going to give Abe Lincoln a lap dance this July 4th.
Dave Margolis: he's he's been like He's been ready for it for years. He's been sitting there.
Phil Gordon: Oh, absolutely. he's sitting He's sitting perfectly for a lap dance. I hope he's got a couple of singles on him
Dave Margolis: Well, you know, the fives have his picture on them. That's going to impress the ladies, you know.
Phil Gordon: Absolutely. Dave, we we just got a few minutes, a few seconds to go. What a pleasure it's been to work with you on this July 4th at the Great American State Fair.
Phil Gordon: We'll be back with more news on next week's show. This is Laughing Liberally Arizona. I'm Phil Gordon. My co-host, Dave Margolis.
Phil Gordon: Thank you for joining us. And wait for it. Good night.
Phil Gordon: Thank you, Dave.
