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FROM THE SKAULT - The Ska'd-venturer's Guild Trilogy
126 Plays3 days ago
For the month of May, Checkered Past is releasing compilations of past episodes From The Skault!
Second week is the complete Dungeons and Dragons real play we did in 2024 called the Ska'd-venturer's Guild! Featuring all your favorite characters: Large-o Hotstepper, Why'dthey Clocksard, Xena Stefani and, of course, Dungeon Master Keelan!
Don't miss the epic 4 year Anniversary episode coming out June 3rd, 2025!
Hosts: Celine, Rob and Joey
Engineer: Joey
Editor: Cutman
Theme Song: OAO by Mad Bomber Society
Skassociate Producer: Chris Reeves of Ska Punk International
Special Thanks: Keelan, Mega Michi and Adam the Ska Mailman
Recommended
Transcript
Podcast Updates and Introduction
00:00:00
Speaker
What up Checkerheads, CheckeredRob here. If you've been following our socials, CPSC is closing its doors for good. In the month of May, we are releasing compilations of back episodes, and it will culminate with our four-year anniversary bash on June 3rd, acting as the series finale for Checkered Past.
00:00:16
Speaker
Today we are presenting in full the entire Skawdventurer's Guild trilogy. Last year, Selene, Joey, and I embarked on an epic quest of Skaw-themed D&D with our Dungeon Master and longtime podcast contributor, Keelan.
00:00:29
Speaker
It wasn't released in sequence, so we thought we would deliver the entire adventure to you in one complete package. So sit back and enjoy the mind palace that is the Skawdventurer's Guild.
The D&D Adventure Begins
00:00:40
Speaker
On this episode, we sell out, oh yeah, it's session zero of a Ska-5 Dungeons & Dragons real play on Checkered Past, the Ska-dcast.
00:00:51
Speaker
Ska-dcast
00:01:27
Speaker
What up, Checkerheads? Welcome to Checkered Past the Scottcast with Selen and Rob. The show where a scob scoblin and a good morning heartache, you're like a kobold friend, explore the history and impact of a different band each episode, hope to bring in new fans along the way.
00:01:41
Speaker
I'm Rob and this is my co-host with the most toast, Engineer Joey. Hi. Hey, did you get that one? Yeah. Guess when I wrote it? Just now. Just now, two seconds ago. You were doing a lot of typing furiously. You're furiously typing over there. It all came to me just at once.
00:01:55
Speaker
But hey, making up stuff on the fly is really ah has something to do with what's going on today. A little bit. ah So we're going to be sharing a very special episode.
00:02:07
Speaker
Joey, do you want to tell them a little bit about what we're doing? We're playing D&D, baby. yeah So this came about, it was probably on an episode or off an episode or on Discord. i don't know. It could have been anywhere. But somebody really was like, oh, man, if you did a real play Dungeons and Dragons, I'd be a part of that. And we didn't get anybody to be a part of it, but but except for people who were here in Edmonton. Yeah, it was just too technically difficult, I think. um But that being said, we did get Keelan to be part of it.
00:02:35
Speaker
Keelan, known for writing our trombonist theme and our different cover versions of OAO for the... The one you would have just heard. pretty Probably. That's right. we Yes. Correct. for Yeah. The purposes of this record, since we're recording this kind of out of order, the heat they would have absolutely heard that.
00:02:52
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. um And so we did a we set it up on your kitchen table is me, you, Selin, Keelan
Gameplay Inspirations and Setup
00:03:01
Speaker
DMing it. And we did a ska sort of version of Dungeons and Dragons.
00:03:07
Speaker
Yes. Yeah. And good time. ah So this is definitely in the vogue of current favorite podcasts like Real Play, Dungeons and Dragons, like Critical Role, Dimension 20. I'm probably sure I'm missing a bunch. Oh, there's like pi there's ah piles of them. Nerd Poker. There's a million different ones.
00:03:25
Speaker
So we thought we would our ripoff version since the podcast is basically a ripoff of another podcast anyway. We thought we would just do that also. Also, it kind of, I know that we have a couple of listeners who are like, get like D&D talk, peripheral D&D talk, and they don't really, they've never played or they don't really understand how the game works.
00:03:46
Speaker
So listening to us bumble through a little quick campaign, we you'll be able to learn. ah hope so. I think, i will be honest, we probably didn't stop to explain rules nearly as much as we could have. This is going to be a heavily edited episode. We took two hours and a bit to do the session zero, which is just us creating characters and going over the world and then the actual play of the of the adventure was is spread out over another two episodes so you'll get three total episodes of dnd goodness um this is like our lord of the rings kind of that's a trilogy that's an example of a trilogy yeah yeah fantasy trilogy that's right most trilogies most fantasy series are trilogies i find except for um dark tower wheel of time
00:04:35
Speaker
a game of thrones a bunch of them most of the famous ones technically even lord of the rings isn't really a trilogy if you count the hobbit and the silma really yeah there's like a lot of stuff going on there uh we are playing fifth edition dungeons and dragons yes and we were playing on roll 20 um just to ease the process roll 20 is a online virtual tabletop But all using the magic of Foley, I will be inserting things like dice roll noises and
Character Creation and Development
00:05:01
Speaker
stuff, I'm sure. oh yeah. um I will be editing it it later after we record this little teaser to get into the episode. But I don't think it requires a great deal of past Dungeons & Dragons knowledge since Keelan did a pretty good job of not like...
00:05:16
Speaker
making it a part of a different world per se it's definitely like in universe to be in the modern times yeah even though there's magic and stuff happening but you don't have to know what the types of monsters are or or really the classes and races and stuff because we're all just really just doing make them ups and it's all quite a good DM. So he describes things as you're going along. You'll, you'll, you'll follow.
00:05:39
Speaker
I think so. I think you'll follow along quite well. Um, so this episode, yeah, it was just us. It's the session zero is what Keelan calls it. And it's us building our characters, coming up with our backstories.
00:05:51
Speaker
Um, he's going to explain the world that we inhabit. And then we're even going to have like a little mini encounter, ah with some baddies to just kind of get used to our kind of character flow. So,
00:06:02
Speaker
We originally had the plan of this being a Patreon exclusive, but when it was done, we decided it was so good that we should get it out in front of everyone. I will say that the entire adventure is out uncut for patrons. So if you would like to hear the entire thing, www.patreon.com slash checkeredpast.
00:06:19
Speaker
Speaking of extended editions. Yeah, that's right. Speaking of extended editions, there's a director's cut. totally. Which means there was no cut. No cut. No cut. ah no No one edited Cut Man was nowhere near. Cut Man was nowhere near, nowhere to be found.
00:06:35
Speaker
But he is all over the rest of them. I think that's about it. Is there anything else that I need to go over before we let the listeners in? No, I think we explain everything in the ep. Okay. Without further ado here, session zero of the Scott Venturers Guild.
00:06:50
Speaker
So this is, what are we calling this, Keelan? You're calling this ah episode zero? I guess so. Adventure Zero. Adventure Zero session zero. The Scott Ventures Guild. That's called the Scott Ventures Guild. That's a great name. I like that. It's great. Thank you.
00:07:04
Speaker
Keelan, our master song songster who made many of our ah theme songs for our brackets, graciously DMing a...
00:07:16
Speaker
ska-based D&D adventure. We're doing it. We're doing it. And so we're going to do like a pre-show that is us kind of figuring out what we're doing. And then there will be a full adventure that will go out to the world later this month. So this is inspired by...
00:07:33
Speaker
this is inspired by I don't know. Other po like nerd poker, critical role, to better as better, more famous D&D podcast. Was the Brian Posehn one?
00:07:45
Speaker
ner poker ner pokeker nerd Nerd poker. But we're going to do our damned best because we've played D&D before. so yeah Many Yes, I have constructed an adventure for you guys basically themed around your guys' podcasts and bands and being um musician and all that wonderful stuff. So...
00:08:06
Speaker
That's silly and fun. Yeah. DIY. Do we want to talk about our history with D&D at all? Well, those we could save that for the full episode. The episode? So we're just building our characters and everything? Let's throw over to Keelan. So yes, um what we're going to do is we're going to start by building some characters.
00:08:25
Speaker
Basically, the things we're going to do in this kind of session zero is we're going to talk about kind of the world ah the set ah the characters that you guys are going to build, their classes, you're going to choose classes for them, ah also backgrounds, spells, equipment, and we will be building level three characters for anybody who is familiar. We are using the fifth edition of Dungeons and Dragons for anyone who is familiar with the game, and we are also using Roll20 as our virtual tabletop today to basically play the game. so
00:09:00
Speaker
ah Yeah, after we build the characters, ah there's a couple other things that we need to kind of go over, including ah getting you guys set up with your instruments, because you guys are going to be part of a band. Oh, yeah. The three of you.
00:09:13
Speaker
ah You guys have magic items that you will be selecting. We also have just some other small little um housekeeping things as as a band and your characters that we'll be assigning.
00:09:24
Speaker
We'll also be creating an NPC together. Yeah. uh that you guys will be basically that'll exist in the world is a celebrity in the world that all of you are going to go see uh as part of the main adventure and then i think we'll kind of end things with a small encounter that i'm going to run for you guys here in session zero so you guys can get a little bit more familiar with your characters and everything that is going on in roll 20.
00:09:51
Speaker
Perfect. That's exciting. That's exciting. This is to loosey-goosey. It doesn't have to be fancy. used Roll20 once, and or we did it a few times in the pandemic. I've used it lots.
00:10:01
Speaker
Katelyn and I play every week Slash Roll1D20. Right? Right? yeah right I think so. Now you can just click the dice. you just click the dice. Oh, i have that we used to have to put in like commands. Like we're using DOS prompt. That's why I wanted to sit beside you. I'm scared of both the commands.
00:10:16
Speaker
There's buttons. There's buttons C colon slash slash W. Anyway. ah Okay. So we're going to actually start with ah a building Joey's character here, the barbarian first. Okay. So you have selected to be a halfling a barbarian.
00:10:31
Speaker
So ah if you go into Rule 20 here and to the Barbarian character sheet, I have started the Charactermancer. Yep, I got it. I got her up and here. if you want to, you can just start clicking through. Charactermancer. Yeah, ah we'll we'll get to it. We'll get to it.
00:10:46
Speaker
And why are you a halfling, Joey? ah To be honest, I am going halfling in this game and also barbarian in this game because i am very familiar with both of them at the moment. So I'm i'm going for ease of mechanics this time.
00:11:01
Speaker
We will have to reintroduce these characters in the full session anyway, but I just was curious. And then so alignment, i won't I won't press you to choose an alignment or anything like that. um You can ah pick your sub race, which is, you're going to probably pick, I think it's whichever gives you lucky. believe. Yeah. that's Maybe a stout would be good for a barbarian, but a lightfoot, yeah, I'm going to lightfoot. Isn't that the dinosaur in Land Before Time?
00:11:26
Speaker
Littlefoot. that's littlefoot. Or Gordon Lightfoot. Gordon Lightfoot. Right. Littlefoot. Canada. Ooh, skill proficiencies. We're in a city, correct? ah So you guys, when it comes to your skill proficiencies, probably just kind of, yeah, think of of where your your your background for your character, what you guys kind of might have ah in mind for your backgrounds.
00:11:48
Speaker
um So I guess I should probably say like you guys are existing. We'll we'll clarify this for the for for now that you guys are existing in kind of a um modern world. It's, it's you know, ah there are phones, there are computers, there cars.
00:12:04
Speaker
It's ah all very ah magic based, though. Not like a specific time, just modern. Modern. Yeah, I think what we can do even at this point in in the session zero is kind of hash out. Is there like a specific time period that you guys would be enamored with?
00:12:20
Speaker
and The 90s. No. Because like, you know, you could do like a whole summer of ska kind of thing. Oh, yeah, that's true. 96. we exist while ska is really popular. That is kind of fun, actually. Yeah.
00:12:32
Speaker
97? Yeah. Mid-90s? Kind of a mid-90s aesthetic? yeah Let's do that. I love it. I'm going intimidation and athletics because I'm barbarian. Yeah, so ah for a barbarian, you're going to want strength and constitution probably. What are going to get poisoned by in the mid-90s?
00:12:49
Speaker
ah What was like a big thing? Oh, mad cow disease. You got good constitution of mad cow disease. I can drink so many floating balls out of orbits. Yeah.
00:13:02
Speaker
Vitamin D overdose from too much Sunny D. ah Do you have a standard barbarian point buy? So I would say abilities, free abilities, go strength, ah go like max strength.
00:13:18
Speaker
yeah I would also I wouldn't skimp too much on dexterity because that sets your armor class yeah but I can be real dumb so that's alright your intelligence and wisdom I wouldn't worry too much about even your charisma I wouldn't worry too much about that's okay what would good what we're gonna do is your performance checks are actually what we'll do is we'll base them either on your strength or constitution okay ye yep that makes sense you can really strongly play the guitar that's true so strongly yeah believe that you can in real life ended the game and i guess in constitution is like how how like if you were like playing like the saxophone you'd have like crazy breath control yeah yeah yeah that's true yeah because your your your so your suffocation rules are all based around your constitution score like i watched one free diving documentary twice and now i'm a free diver you watched it twice i did it sounded so stressful
00:14:14
Speaker
You know what? I watched it with a friend and talked over it. And that was like a horror movie. Have you heard of The Deepest Breath on Netflix? It's pretty fucking crazy. It's fucking nuts.
00:14:24
Speaker
It's nuts. Not so. It's just there's so much like there's so much um footage of like just in the deep, in the dark. I hate the deep depths of the waters. What's your deal, Joey? What am I doing? It's terrifying.
Band Formation and In-Game Dynamics
00:14:39
Speaker
Space is like totally... I'm fine with space, the idea of space, but that for some reason, the deep ocean is terrifying. don't go in either place, but I like to look at on my TV deep water.
00:14:51
Speaker
i don't want to go into it. Am I looking for a specific background, or am I just picking something? Okay, so you're in backgrounds now? yeah In backgrounds, what I would suggest is... ah because the i don't think that your class and or subclass gives you a performance or gives you a musical instrument proficiency. What we're going to do is we are going to pick yeah either Entertainer, Far Traveler, Inheritor, Knight of the Order, Outlander, Urban Bounty Hunter, Tribe Manager. Entertainer works for me. Good enough.
00:15:24
Speaker
Why all be entertainers? Yeah, it's probably that's probably but more or less what you're going end up. Okay, now the real question. i got to pick a... ah instrument uh so yes your instruments don't worry too much about the list of instruments that they give you there because i think it's all just kind of like the basic medieval instruments yeah is there a specific instrument you like because this is a modern world you can have electric guitars you can have all sorts of wonderful stuff well i feel like we should have tubular bells like you had mentioned you had mentioned that you wanted to i'm percussion you're percussion it's gonna it makes the most sense
00:16:01
Speaker
Maybe i will my singing or no do... and you can You can sing and play an instrument. That's true. why not? I'm going to be a cabodist. I'm keyboardist. cabordist. cabordist. So what are you doing again? Drums.
00:16:15
Speaker
Cabordist? Yeah. Yeah, maybe I'll play like the guitar and sing. Okay. We're like an anime band. Yeah. know how like in anime bands, they don't have bass guitars? Yeah, I'll play guitar and sing. Okay. We have a MIDI bass player. It's called Easy Bass 2. Yeah.
00:16:30
Speaker
It's just pre-programmed on your keyboard. Yeah. You can probably make a ska band with those three instruments. We don't have to be a ska band. Shut up. Shut your goddamn head. sound like cake. A ska band. Yeah. Well, then who's the horn? There's still horn there.
00:16:44
Speaker
on my keyboard. ah You have one of those layered? You should have one of those layered keyboards. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It definitely be a new wave band. ah yeah, for sure. For sure. Post-punk new wave? Easy. Ska, Ska will pick us up again. Wow, we'd be really uncool in the mid-90s if we were a new wave Well, I'm going to pick pan flute. Well, just for this thing. i just need a little pocket instrument.
00:17:08
Speaker
personality traits oh these are just like rando personality yeah and okay i'm yeah i'm just gonna wouldn't worry about any of the personality traits stuff your ideals bonds any of that stuff we'll just we're just gonna kind of jump into roll rp those are all rp yeah and i'm gonna click roll on all of them just for fun less romantic always searching for that special someone yeah hey people i like seeing the smiles on people's faces when i perform Bond, that's my instrument is my most treasured possession. That one's a pretty good one, actually. And it reminds me of someone I love. flaw i have trouble keeping my true feelings hidden. Hidden, my sharp tongue lands me in trouble.
00:17:48
Speaker
right So is your special someone your your guitar? Apparently.
Zombie Combat Sequence
00:17:53
Speaker
yes ah How would you like to choose your equipment? and So just do a standard array, I believe it is starting classic Class equipment? Class equipment.
00:18:06
Speaker
Any martial weapon? Oh, boy. Hmm. We're a modern time, but we also like fight with swords and stuff. so so like i'm i'm really i'm stealing that I'm stealing this, basically, all of this kind of flavor for this world from Brennan Lee Mulligan, ah who Dungeon Masters, the show Dimension 20 on TV. That's good. It basically has a whole world fantasy high that's set in basically a very you know modern world. it's
00:18:37
Speaker
Yeah, I'm just stealing that from i love it works for me okay I'm gonna be a great great sword guy no the great sword is the one you need two hands for right yes yes a long sword I can do one ah a long sword can be one handed or two handed one or they are versatile they have the versatile yep yep that's what I'm go with so you can use one or two hands Oh, guys, I need to come up with a halfling name. Finny Half-Barrell. Yeah, I know. Hey, come on now. that's a
00:19:08
Speaker
This is probably going to be the thing you'll struggle with the most in this character creation. God, I haven't even thought of name yet. Names. Maybe, yeah, good good note for i got we both Rob and Selene here to think of names.
00:19:22
Speaker
Happy Hot Stepper. Happy Hop Stepper. Hot Stepper. Happy Hop Stepper. Hot Stepper. Hopstopper. Hote. Hote Stepper. Everlasting Hopstopper.
00:19:35
Speaker
No, maybe not Heppy. Maybe... yeah yeah Sounds too close like a rabbit from Star Fox. Yeah, I don't like... I do like Hot Stepper as a last name for a halfling, but I need halfling first his name. Do a barrel roll. Remember him?
00:19:51
Speaker
Yeah, remember him. You bring him up all the time. Peppy? He was less annoying than the frog, whatever the frog's name was. little bit of it. yeah That's how he sounds, right? In a start u but in in the Super Nintendo one, and then in the N64 one, he's full voice acting.
00:20:06
Speaker
Full voice acting. yes, right. Is it like Hoppy or something like that? know. I feel like it's got to be something that is bad. Peppy was the rabbit. That's all I remember. Griffo. What was that? whator What was the other sound that was coming out of your mouth? I was going to go with, I thought it said Larjo, and I thought that would be a really funny name. Larjo is really funny.
00:20:28
Speaker
Larjo it is. Larjo is great. It actually was Largo, but Larjo hot stepper for a halfling is very funny. Larjo. Large. Is there anyone you can think of that was like,
00:20:42
Speaker
Never mind. Courtney Love. No. Oh. Get out of here. I'm figuring it out. That was what? I think I've got it. Well, I'm trying to think of a big front woman of a band, like a tall front woman. So then I was thinking like Wendy O the Plasmatics.
00:20:57
Speaker
And then I was like, shut the fuck up. Grace Jones. yeah And then I was thinking about Megan Thee Stallion. and then I was going back and thinking I should probably keep it to like white. So like maybe some.
00:21:09
Speaker
Zena's good. Yeah. Zena's 90s. But then what's a name that I can blend? Like Wendy O Lawless. Yeah. It's not bad. You didn't like it that much, though. Why is this up to me? Why does my opinion matter? I liked it. Yeah, I'm just filling in. I'm 2 foot 9. I'm 69 years old. Once you've got basically your bits and bobs for your level 1 kind of stuff done there, I'll let you go in and kind of finish off your level 2 and your level 3 because I know you know what you're doing. Yeah.
00:21:43
Speaker
Yeah, and you're ready to your subclass is going to be the Path of the Beast when you get around. Path the Beast. Okie dokie. That section. So we'll move on to our Sorcerer of the group. Nice.
00:21:56
Speaker
that's That's Rob. Yeah, so if you go to the Sorcerer character sheet, I have started the Charactermancer. I'm going to be an auto gnome. What is an auto gnome? So auto gnomes introduced in the i dont ah ah Spelljammer supplements for 5th edition. They became a playable race, and they're basically little clockwork gnomes. They're so cool.
00:22:17
Speaker
These little images are so cool. Aww. He's a robot. soak he's He's a robot. Yeah. A robot. Absolutely. ah Do you remember that Futurama episode where they had like the robots that were like in the trees and stuff?
00:22:33
Speaker
I think so. And then there's the one that has like a little water wheel and she has to keep running back into the water. Yes, yes. It reminds me of that. Mm-hmm. ah Okay, cool. So I'm an auto gnome, and it says ability score plus one. Should i skip those?
00:22:46
Speaker
So you'll want to set those. Oh, okay. So for a sorcerer, the main abilities you're going to want are ah um dexterity and charisma. Oh, dexterity and charisma. I don't want intelligence or wisdom. No, sorcerers are charisma-based casters. Okay, so I got dex and charisma. Wizards are intelligence-based casters. There we go. Okay.
00:23:06
Speaker
And then my alignment. Okay. ah You don't need to worry about your alignment too Okay, I'll skip that. That's all alignment. You're like a Rasputin sorcerer. Alignment in 5th edition doesn't actually have a mechanical function. It is all role-playing.
00:23:19
Speaker
And do i have do I have language proficiency? i If you want to choose your languages, absolutely choose those. I'll i'll speak gnomish. It makes sense. Joey's looking pretty silly little images of little guys. Got to be a picture of myself. Armored casings.
00:23:32
Speaker
armored casing It says here that you are encased in thin metal or some other durable metal. That's fun. Your base armor class is 13 plus dex modifier. Yeah. So ah you will yeah start with basically ah a higher armor class than probably a lot of other sorcerers would.
00:23:49
Speaker
That's cool because I'm i'm ah i'm a clockwork guy. You're of metal. that's That's cool. Built for success. You can add a D4 to one attack roll or saving throw you make, and you can do so after seeing the D20 roll, but before the effect of the roll takes effect.
00:24:03
Speaker
That's funny. So I'd be like, that sucks. Roll a D4. That's fun. Healing machine. o I don't know i got excited about that. yeah iending yeah cast on you You can send ah spend a hit point.
00:24:15
Speaker
Or a hit die, roll it, and regain a number of hit points equal to the roll plus your constitution. Normally, you would takeck you would spend hit dice over a short rest. Right. But in this instance, you can spend them whenever somebody casts the mending spell on Ah, so I get like a little bit of a bonus heal.
00:24:29
Speaker
Yeah. You have resistance to poison and immunity to disease because I am ah not a human. Or what do you call it? A race of sentient creatures. You're not fleshy. Mm-hmm.
00:24:41
Speaker
centuries rest when you take a long rest you spend at least six hours in an inactive motionless state instead of sleeping you appear okay so this is just like you shut down you go yeah well my clock it's clockwork so it's it's like the windows 95 log off do do doo do you like i love it specialized design you gain tool proficiencies oh i like being tool i like having tool proficiencies is it schism I'm the beast of space. Sorry, do you have a drop down? Yeah. Yeah. So you'll want to pick your tool. I get two. So I'm going to do Tinker's Tools because, you know, gnome, right? Tinking. Tinking.
00:25:18
Speaker
It would be cool if they're, well, Tinker's Tool means like i I can like tinker with myself and make myself even more. Yeah, potentially. I mean, any situations. Yeah, any situations. Just tinkering with yourself over there. Nice.
00:25:29
Speaker
Don't come in and tinkering with yourself. Just stop. Alchemy. Doing it. Okay. like That's fun. My new persona's like Johnny Knoxville. yeah like you're gonna hate yourself you're so the entire jackass crew yeah i'm like personified yeah in in this dnd character okay so i click now i click my my class sorcerer yes uh sorcerer and where we uh and then i get skill proficiencies yes yes which do i know which ones they are do i get to pick ah you You're going to also pick those. Your skills, again, think of kind of like your bat the background of your character um or just stuff that you think they would should be skilled in, or you would like them to be skilled in. Okay, Arcana and Insight. I think that makes the most sense for me. For sure.
00:26:13
Speaker
And then choose a Sorceress Origin. So your origin work soul is Clockwork Soul, yes. Yes, which means, I get to read about this, ah you learn additional spells when you reach certain levels in this class as shown in the Clockwork Spells table. So it's just like specials.
00:26:29
Speaker
you get So yeah, you have basically a special list of spells that you will also have always have access to. Lots of spellcasters have like a standard set of spells that they have access to based on their origin or their background. for me, because we'll be level three, I have Alarm, Protection from Evil and Good, and Aid, and Lesser Restoration.
00:26:49
Speaker
Nice. Okay, that's fun. All right, so abilities is next. Choose ability score method. So your ability scores, you should already have a bonus based on the abilities that you chose on your back at your race. But otherwise, you're going to want to, yeah, ah basically prioritize your dexterity and your charisma as a sorcerer, I think.
00:27:09
Speaker
Your dexterity is going to set your armor class and your charisma is going to set your spellcasting ability. Right. Should I go standard array or should I do a roll? Do points by. Oh, point by. Point by. And then I would maximize your charisma and dex.
00:27:26
Speaker
Well, maximizing them will we'll totally eat up all of your points, but I will let you set them kind of however you would like. The ones you probably need less are strength. And I always, I always pale to advise care are people to dump Constitution as a stat, because if you dump Constitution as a stat, you will start losing hit points as you gain levels, which is, nobody wants that.
00:27:52
Speaker
Okay, so i'm I just picked 10 for everything, and then 15 for Dex and Charisma. But that seems like pretty pretty top heavy. Yeah. um You could probably bring down charisma a little bit ah to like a 14 or ah which ah you you have a bonus that. So like even 13, if you get that plus one to get the 14 straight out of plus two for your dex.
00:28:13
Speaker
so And then you have some more points to kind of even out your so your other stuff. And... matthewy's Are you drawing your new character? Yeah. Yeah. Nice. Are you backsheeing it? oh Yeah, a little bit. Okay.
00:28:28
Speaker
Why not? Then background. Choose a background. Cool. I am... oh look at these choices. Yeah, so your background, again, the ones that have your ah musical proficiency for yourself are entertainer, far traveler, inheritor.
00:28:43
Speaker
Entertainer. we We decided we're all entertainers. Yeah, it's pretty... It's an easy one to pick. and then the And then I'm going to be drums. So drum, that was easy. Drums. Hey, that's another podcast.
00:28:55
Speaker
Uh-huh. Entertainer routine. a Instrumentalist. Personality traits. Oh, these are the ones where you're like, those don't matter. Those are all role-playing proms. I'm skipping.
00:29:07
Speaker
What? You can do them. I liked Joey's reading Joey. That's because you can do it over my shoulder. Can I do one? Okay, back to background for a second. Just one, and one, one, one. At the behest and against my better judgment, I'm doing these. Thank you.
00:29:24
Speaker
it's fun uh let's see i'm not a hopeless romantic uh you're just hopeless yeah that's not scott but it's close yeah uh have some whimsy in your heart damn it uh i get bitter if i'm not the center of attention that sounds good i love that ideal wow this is fun Just hit roll. Wow, this is fun. I like seeing the smiles on people's faces when I perform. That's all that matters.
00:29:54
Speaker
Bond. I like the idea that I'm a clockwork gnome that's just obsessed with attention. That's very funny. Yeah, I that. But also with just putting on a good show and people loving it. want to be famous, whatever it takes. Here we go. We're doing it. See? You didn't want to do this. So this is very fun.
00:30:10
Speaker
ah Despite my best efforts, I'm unreliable to my friends. You're just kind of a dick who loves attention.
00:30:20
Speaker
ah No, I'll do anything to win fame and renown. That makes that' more sense. That's good. Okay, there we go. That's your true goal. There we go. It's just fame. Fame whore. Fame whore. Yeah, fame whore here.
00:30:32
Speaker
ka um I'm going to do ah well a debt light crossbow. I'll have an arcane focus. yeah So for spellcasting, I'm not going to worry too much about ammo for you guys as well as in 5th edition, there's basically spell components. And one of the things that the spell component...
00:30:54
Speaker
gives The rules they give is ah anything with a monetary value, you need to actually have bought and purchased. But I'm not going to worry about that for you guys. You guys all have the components that you need to cast your spells. We're going hand wave all that stuff. Cool. okay I think for these kinds of one shots, it's stupid to track all of that stuff. yeah Totally. there Now the real fun, spells. Selecting spells.
00:31:18
Speaker
How many spells? So for your spells, I do have some suggestions. I will take them. for the sake For the sake of ease, I'll i'll just roll with your suggestions. So cantrips, I have ah basically a cup a few offensive ones. I would say firebolt, shocking grass, thunder clap are good choices.
00:31:34
Speaker
okay So however you kind of want to flavor them, whether it's, you know... Shocking Grasp, feel Yeah, feeling electricity kind of... Yeah. Okay, yeah, Shocking Grasp's a good one. ah Then I also have Dancing Lights, Mage Hand, Mending, and Prestidigitation as for other kind of like useful kind of utility cantrips. Mending, that's...
00:31:51
Speaker
Mending will allow you to spend hit dice, so that's a good one for you to have. Prestidigitation is a good catch-all for like little illusions and little magical effects. right ah You can use that to kind of like produce whatever you need to really quickly. And it needs to be kind of like just a really small, simple little effect, but um it's very versatile.
00:32:10
Speaker
And then Mage Hand is obviously also a really, really useful one as well, too because that'll give you really like limited telekinesis. Right. Yes. Oh, my God. That's so stupid. Mage Hand. Joey's little dumb picture. So I'm not sure how many actual hand trips you get. And then Thunderclap. Gnomes.
00:32:26
Speaker
Halfling? Halfling. Okay. Shocking, Grass, Mending, Mage Hand, and Thunderclap. Okay. And then for, i get two level one spells. Yeah, two level one spells. So for your level ones, I have um some suggestions here are Absorb Elements, which is a reaction spell that allows you to like basically absorb but anything like fire, cold, lighting. Actually, that sounds an awful lot like me. Yeah.
00:32:49
Speaker
There's also, I've got Charm Person, ah pretty self-explanatory. Color Spray, which is ah like a way to kind of like blind and disorient people. yeah Disguise Self, a False Life, which gives you some temp hit points. Shield, which is a reaction spell that allows you to up your AC.
00:33:07
Speaker
ah Silent Image and Thunder Wave are kind of like where i would say silent image is obviously a illusion spell that allows you to cast silent images okay i'm gonna do thunder wave just to keep with the theme of my being kind of for sure thunder wave is like an offensive one that uh does thunder damage and pushes people away from you cool and absorb elements because i like the sound of that okay and then cool now it says uh you'll pick more spells as you go as you get to third level you'll you'll have a bunch more spells and feats i don't have any feats Okay, character name. What are standing on? Yeah, so your bio, and you can fill all that out. And as you're filling all that out, maybe we can... mine My name is... What's your name? um but like What's your name? My name is Wideday.
00:33:50
Speaker
Who? Wideday? Yeah. Wideday? Clocksard. Wideday Clocksard. Did you just put it in an automatic, like, thing? No, it's why do they rock so hard, but i made it a clock thing. Why they? Clock's hard. That's funny. Why they clock's hard.
00:34:06
Speaker
Cloxward? Cloxard. Cloxard. Cloxard. Why they Cloxard? Why'd they Cloxard? hard to call Cloxard. Yeah, I guess. you You don't just guess, you know. Yeah. Why they Cloxard? Why'd they Cloxard? That's me. That's funny. I'm still thinking of my name. Sorry, that's what I was doing. I was like, what am doing? saw that.
00:34:27
Speaker
Apply changes. Okay, character built. All right, so I'm just going through this stuff. do you want to start with Selin while I go through this? Yeah, let's get going on Selin. Okay, so... you're gonna keep pull up pull up If you would like to open the bard character sheet.
00:34:41
Speaker
So I am going to be a Goliath. I'm going to be a Goliath. Yeah, just turn it on. And that'll allow you to pick ability scores the very bottom of the thing. So when you get down to the bottom for bard, you are going to want to probably prioritize charisma for bards. Bards are one of those weird ones because they have like... They can be kind of roguey sometimes, right? Well, they can be rogui. They can also be cleric-y. They can also be like intelligency, like wizard-y. I'd rather be a charismatic rogui bard. You could do like charisma. Well, your magic is charisma. I would probably go dex and charisma. Yeah, dex and charisma. Me too. Yeah.
00:35:21
Speaker
That's a good good basic one to pick for bards. Especially for the type of play that you usually do. Me too. Yeah. And my alignment. I don't know. I always... yeah your yourre your higher your higher bonus you'll probably want to pick as your charisma. If we're all like chaotic good, to kind of makes sense.
00:35:36
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, you guys, ah usually, if if nothing else, I usually say you guys are true neutral because that's the easiest way to go. Yeah, yeah. I feel i feel true neutral. True nooch.
00:35:46
Speaker
True nooch. um I'm not a humanoid, am I? Yeah. Oh, I guess I am. Medium? I thought I... How is a Goliath medium-sized? You're medium-sized, but you're like at the upper echelon of the medium-sized. You're like a big human. I'll take that. I'll take that. You're like eight feet tall, basically.
00:36:03
Speaker
Okay, so proficiency and athletic skill. That's kind of fun You can speak, read, and write common and giant. Common and giant. Stones endurance. You can focus yourself to occasionally shrug off injury. That's fun. When you take damage, you can use your reaction to roll a Powerful builds. You count as one size larger when determining your carrying capacity and the weight you can push, drag, or lift.
00:36:27
Speaker
Mountain boring. You have resistance to cold damage. You're also acclimated to high altitude, including elevations above 20,000 feet. That's pretty fun. Is she going picking her school right away here or whatever? I think so. I don't i think it comes her school. She chooses her school at about 30%. Pick what you want.
00:36:49
Speaker
Proficiencies. and Unless it prompts you there in your class to pick a college. I guess performance should be one. Probably, yep. I would absolutely yeah recommend that. Performance is of your skills.
00:37:04
Speaker
Insight for what? See if people are doing what you think doing. Nah, I'm going to stuff from the sight of hand. Insight is reading people and understanding. Maybe lying.
00:37:17
Speaker
Lying's fun. Lying's fun. Or stealth. Yeah, stealth. So you want to be sneaky? You're just doing the sneaky. You're just doing the sneaky bard. I'm going to be a sneaky giant. I'm going to be sneaky giant. Sneaky giant is very funny.
00:37:31
Speaker
Sneaky giant bard. It's happening. Stealth it is. Yeah, what's ah what did you want to do? you just singing? or did you want I'd like to sing and play the guitar. okay so guitar.
00:37:43
Speaker
Is it an acoustic guitar or an electric guitar? I'd prefer it to be electric. Yeah, yeah come on now. It says I can have three. Yeah, just pick a couple. you're multiple I guess I'll do a horn.
00:37:55
Speaker
Sure, yeah. You're a multi-instrumentalist? That's really fun, like on stage. Me too. but So what do you play? i I play keyboard, but I also have a pan flute, and I i think i came i grabbed something else as well because it gave me an option. What's a liar? I'm up to a level. It's a little proto It's like a little guitar harp kind of thing.
00:38:12
Speaker
I really like can't get it out of my head that we're a ska band. Tandrum or um Liar? Tandrum's kind of like a like ah oh actually like a cowbell.
00:38:24
Speaker
That was one other thing that you guys are going to pick as well, too, in this session. Zero is your band name. It won't come up in the encounter, but it will come up early in the adventure. So that's also something that you guys should probably start thinking about.
00:38:35
Speaker
Okay, ah so what are the... So and in your point buy, you're going want to emphasize your charisma and your dex. So your charisma and dexterity, you probably want to max them out. I 15, no. I wouldn't max out both. I would probably... Well, charisma is was your magic, so...
00:38:55
Speaker
Well, you so you can pull back a little bit on charisma if you want because you have probably a plus two bonus from your custom origin. Right. So keep that in mind. If you set it to 14, your plus two will get it to 16, which is still a plus three. I don't want to have like – and I'm supposed – I don't – you know, I want to be like a balanced woman. Okay. balanced woman the other the other thing is you can probably pull a little back on decks as well too because you don't need a full or probably bonus on your decks but but i just i was a barbarian so i was just like strong and dumb easy there were no nothing in the middle choose a background uh yeah gladiator no entertainer we're all entertainers we're all entertainers gladiators
00:39:41
Speaker
Now you want to be an iconoclastic. Break away from everybody. What do the other There are other backgrounds that give you... another forever I'm merely a facilitator. i am the dungeon master. I'm merely a facilitator. What's a longhorn?
00:40:01
Speaker
longhorn? It's big longhorn. It's like a trombone. Oh, like an alpine horn? What's a zolkoon? That's a good question. I don't know. What's a war gong?
00:40:13
Speaker
Zolkoon is a wind musical instrument that functioned like a portable pump organ, according to the Forgotten Realms of wiki. Damn. It's like... It's Forgotten Realms bagpipes. That's fun.
00:40:27
Speaker
Are we going to just throw, like, Forgotten Realms stuff into this universe, then? i It's not. This is its own world, but, I mean... It takes place in a modern version of Waterdeep. Yeah, I'm not sure. Entertainer routine? In terms of like monsters specific to the world, there might be some might be something that'll come up, but... Watch out for Artemis and Terry.
00:40:51
Speaker
What's some other Forgotten Realms characters I know? I was going to say, I won't be mentioning Elminster or anything like that. Drist? Well, yeah, there's Drist, obviously, but... Are you guys seeing what I'm doing? No, should I? Yeah, read them out. I'll settle for nothing less than perfection.
00:41:07
Speaker
Okay, and then my next one. i have I love a good insult, even one directed at me. oh okay Oh, I didn't roll mine. Is that how those ended up on yours? Yeah. Oh, okay. I just like picked them and didn't do anything with them. They're rolling. looks like they're rolling for their... as Yeah, I just rolled. It was quicker for me. Honesty. For me. Art should reflect the soul. It should come from within and reveal who we really are.
00:41:32
Speaker
Whoa. Deep, man. Yeah. You're such a, like, why aren't you the, what'd you call it? Fame hog? What'd you call me? No, I'm a fame whore. What'd you call me? What'd you call me? What was that? Insult? They're a hated rival. I want that.
00:41:46
Speaker
but Who's your hated rival, Joey? I don't have one. Sure. There we go. I want satirized a noble who's don't. Yeah, this is starting to like feel like Elvira, but like oh a large bard instead. You like actually shut the fuck up.
00:42:03
Speaker
Like actually? Yeah, like actually if you can actually shut the fuck up this time for once in your fucking life. Hey, how come I look like Joey? Something happened here.
00:42:15
Speaker
What? Yeah, that's just Joey twice. Yeah, I don't know how that happened. Joey twice? Did you mean to do that? I haven't done anything. I didn't do that. Why is Joey there twice? don't know. I don't know what happened there. don't know. became Joey twice. Yeah.
00:42:32
Speaker
How would you like to choose your equipment? Class equipment or starting well? So class equipment, go class equipment, and then you'll be able to select your equipment from those drop-down lists. What do you think I should have for a... What did Xena have? A sword? Chakras? Yeah, she had like sharp ring things. Is that what they were called? Is that okay?
00:42:57
Speaker
Can we do that? That's all right. She can. I guess longsword greatclub. um she had a sword she had like a big sword that she would do a long sword but okay spells you're at spells yeah okay i've got spells i have suggestions thank you uh okay so i'm at bard cantrips uh how many cantrips you get you get two two okay so the ones i have listed here probably for bars i've got prestidigitation mage hand and vicious mockery are kind of like pretty good standard ones to pick i liked mage hand a lot that one time i used it
00:43:29
Speaker
Mage Hand is pretty handy. and I also suggest Prestidigitation because it gives you... Okay, so here's the choices. Prestidigitation is like a utility spell. It gives you lots of different things that you can do with it. Lots of small little magical effects, but it's not... It doesn't do any damage. Right. Vicious Mockery is a cantrip that actually does damage, and I believe it also stuns. yeah And basically, it's like, you know, you just use sling an insult at somebody. and I like that. I'm going to Mage Hand and Vicious Mockery.
00:43:56
Speaker
Or do you think I should do Prestidigitation? They must succeed on a wisdom saving throw or take 1d4 psychic damage to disadvantage on the next attack roll they make is Vicious Mockery. Do you think I should do Mage Hand and Vicious Mockery or Prestidigitation?
00:44:10
Speaker
No, I think Prestidigitation and Vicious Mockery. Is better? Yeah, because you have Sleight of Hand, right? So yeah if you really want to steal something, you can get in there. Okay, bard level one ah This is talking about like detect... Okay. So do you you have to you have your level one spells as well too that you need to pick, right? so Because this says like... Oh, yeah. It just says like cure wounds, detect magic disguise. So those are your standard ones that you probably got. Okay.
00:44:36
Speaker
Is there anything that you want me to do specifically? Like, are there any abilities that you want as a bard? guess I'm in my cure wounds. I'm way scared. Well, I will say, so you're the one person in the group that has access to healing magic. So keep that in mind. Yes, you cure wounds for sure. You want to be kind of sneaky sneaky? Yeah.
00:44:55
Speaker
um Probably disguise self. i do like disguise I would say would probably be a good one to pick then. ah ba Charm person I like, too. Yeah, Bane and charm. Bane is is you ah enemies have a minus to their attack rolls and saving throws. Yeah, that's a pretty one. Cure wounds, disguise self, charm person, Bane.
00:45:14
Speaker
Yeah, I'm just to go through really quickly, though. I'm bored in the shadows. Charm person. Yeah, charm person is pretty obvious what it does. Detect magic allows you to, you know, obviously be like a little bit of a um metal detector for magic.
00:45:27
Speaker
uh healing word allows you to heal people from a distance as a bonus action that's actually a very handy spell that's better than i would almost suggest that you you swap out um yeah cure wounds for healing word done because in this adventure i don't think there's going to be a lot of situations where you're going to be hard pressed to do like a ton of healing i'm going to give you guys all a healing potion to begin with okay I'm doing healing work. And healing work will allow you to ah bring somebody back up from a distance.
00:45:53
Speaker
Like if they're if they drop, you can like from like 60 feet away be like pew and and heal them back up. so okay Don't want to like worry about filling all that stuff in right now. You don't have to worry about it because I think, you know, if you're hard pressed, you can pick a hair color and an eye color and stuff like that, right? Yeah, that Okay, well, I need to i i need to ble i need to blend Xena with a front woman of a band.
00:46:14
Speaker
So I need your help. wait, wait. Let's let's do this. Xena Stefani, Gwen, Warrior Princess. Front woman 90s. Because that's what we're kind of looking for, right? Yeah. Xena Stefani.
00:46:27
Speaker
Xena Stefani is pretty good. I like Xena Stefani. Let's not get too complicated. Xena Stefani is pretty good. Okay, this is the suggestions that Google gave me. was Juliana Hatfield, Liz Fair, Sinead O'Connor, Nenna Cherry, Alanis Morissette.
00:46:44
Speaker
I mean, Scott Landis Morissette's not bad. Nope. But that's already taken. That's already taken. How tall can I be? Annie DeFranco. You'd be like almost eight feet tall, like seven foot something. Goliaths, yeah, they're average like seven to eight feet tall. I would say you're somewhere in there. Like 7'11", something. Harvey. 7'11". Get yourself a taquito.
00:47:03
Speaker
seven yourself at toquito But I'm like 100 pounds. I'm just kidding. You're 100 pounds. Just a stick. match Black or blonde? Black or blonde? Black or blonde? Xena or Gwenny?
00:47:16
Speaker
That's tough last tough. She's half black, half blonde. Split die. call. die. splitigh Black and blonde. Black and blonde.
00:47:28
Speaker
And blonde. Black guy, black guy, black guy, blonde. Get down. What do you think? It's a red hot chili pepper song. Skin. i just put fair because white has me. White. Translucent. White.
00:47:44
Speaker
Your name is Zina Stefani, your age is 40, your height is 7'11, your weight is 220, your eye color is blue, your hair is split black and blonde, your skin is white. Your only choice left is to press on or turn back.
00:47:57
Speaker
If you're editing existing character, all your existing data will be lost in the void. Apply changes. Wow, it's building. haven't done, I have a character sheet.
00:48:10
Speaker
Okay, um so, ah We have basically your basic characters built at this point. Yep. ah What we're going to do is we are going your magic items. So we have magic items that need to assign.
00:48:27
Speaker
Would you guys like to roll randomly for a magic item? I do, yeahll yeah yes. That's exactly what I want to do. Okay, we'll roll randomly. All of you can roll through well three roll three times. We'll get the items, and then if you need to, you can redistribute um ah them amongst yourselves. sure So, ah Joey, if you would like, ah please give me a D8 roll. D8, here we go.
00:48:49
Speaker
i got... Can't see it. Six. six So, you got an instrument of scribing. an instrument of scribing. I'm going to share this bend you to everybody so it should have just popped up there is a wondrous item this musical instrument has three charges while you're playing it you can use an action to expend one charge from the instrument and write a magical message on a non-magical object or surface that you can see within 30 feet of view the message can be up to six words long and it's written in a language you know
00:49:21
Speaker
If you're a bard, you can scribe an additional seventh word and choose to make the message glow faintly, allowing it to be seen in non-magical darkness. Casting Dispel Magic on this message erases it.
00:49:32
Speaker
Otherwise, the message fades away after 24 hours. That's pretty cool. gains all expended charges at dawn so uh obviously good for bard uh to have that one because it gives you some extra utility with it uh celine please give me a d8 i'll roll my dice yeah yes please give me a roll seven okay uh you rolled a metal of muscle metal
00:49:59
Speaker
so Oh, different metal. You can squeeze this metal tightly in the palm of your hand as an action. Doing so gives you an advantage on strength checks and strength saving throws for one hour.
00:50:10
Speaker
Once this property has been used, it can't be used again and the metal becomes non-magical. It sounds like a very Joey ah thing. Squeeze metal? Yeah. Yeah, that seems like a pretty barbarian barbarian type deal.
00:50:24
Speaker
Yeah. yeah are Or I can just roll here. I guess it doesn't matter. you want to just roll? Okay. So, Lynn got three. Got a three. Okay. You got Hat of Vermin.
00:50:36
Speaker
Hat of Vermin. Oh, my God. I want it. good Rat hat. I want the rat hat. Is it a ratatouille situation? This hat has three charges. While holding the hat, you can use an action to expend one of its charges and speak a command word that summons your choice of a bat, a frog, or a rat.
00:50:51
Speaker
The summoned creature magically appears in the hat and tries to get away from you as quickly as possible. This creature is neither friendly nor hostile, and it isn't under your control. It behaves as an ordinary creature of its kind. It disappears after one hour or when the hat regains all expended charges at dawn. Yeah, I want that.
00:51:08
Speaker
It's stupid, but I want it. It is dumb. I mean, I think I have to take the bard thing because it's for bards. So, Slin will get the... Instrument of scribing. Instrument of scribing. mean, I love the rat hat. The metal of metal. love the rat hat the most, but... The metal of metal will be Joey. And I'll have the rat hat as a... As a clockwork gnome.
00:51:26
Speaker
All right. And I will take the... What was called? Medal Muscles. Medal Muscles. Okay. ah So we picked your magic items. Now band assets. We have a jam space, band van, and performance equipment.
00:51:40
Speaker
Who has what? Oh, these are things that we own? Yeah, these are things that you guys own. So somebody is going to be in charge of the jam space. Somebody is going be in charge of the band van. And somebody going to be in charge of the performance equipment.
00:51:52
Speaker
Well, Joey, band van? I mean... I have lots of experience, so sure. Rob, do the preference? What would I have? What do you think I would have? space. I'd probably have the jam space. You'd like a jam space yeah. Yeah, it's in my workshop.
00:52:06
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, okay. And then I'll have the performance equipment. So kind of like a lot of the PA stuff. Yeah, I guess so. Well, you're a multi-instrumentalist. Right, so that would make sense. Yeah, that makes lot of sense, yeah. Makes a lot of sense. And so I will let you guys flavor those however you want. Sure. I don't know if you have an idea of what the jam space, you guys' jam space looks like. Rob.
00:52:23
Speaker
Yeah, it's inside my workshop in the clock tower. Nice. Is this steampunk? I'm a steampunk character, yeah. Van is a big checkered Van. Big checkered Van.
00:52:37
Speaker
it's like the one It's like the mystery machine, but it's checkered. Is it off the wall? It is indeed off the wall. Yeah. And so... It just says van off the wall. That's funny. That is pretty funny.
00:52:51
Speaker
Paint the van. Paint the van. Off the wall. but All right. ah ah So when we... I'm just going to wait for Joey to get a ah token set up here. Well, actually, guess in the meantime, what we're going to do is we're going to get an NPC. We're going to build an NPC.
00:53:07
Speaker
Yeah, let's build that NPC. This won't take me long. So this is the celebrity that exists in the world that you guys are going to go see during the adventure. So what I would like are some roles. And this is going to give us a base ah kind of like characteristics for this NPC. And then we can kind of flesh them out afterwards. all Right, I'm excited to do some rolls.
00:53:28
Speaker
So ah whoever wants to, please give me a D10 roll. On it. you want it? Yeah. Joey, you you focus. yeah i'm eighty Five.
00:53:38
Speaker
So number five, we've got a name. This is going to name our adventure or our celebrity. Their name is Loon. Loon. Like Luna? Or like Loon, like the bird? L-O-O-N, but it can be Luna. Do you want it to be Luna? No, I like Loon like it's the bird. That's fun. For sure. Okay, Loon. Okay, we're going to do their instrument next.
00:53:59
Speaker
Please give me another D10 roll. roll you want to do that one, Celine? You did it already. She got a 10. A 10. That is going to be a theremin.
00:54:10
Speaker
Ooh.
00:54:14
Speaker
That's what it sounds like, yeah. Woo! Sick. Okay, so we have Loon the theremin player. ah Next, we are going to do kind of a basic description of this person. Another D10 roll, please.
00:54:32
Speaker
I got it. Two. Two. Ghost. One of my favorite, Chris. Always in a cloud of perfume, wearing a well-loved overcoat. old Just like this perfumey overcoat lady just playing the theremin. I mean, is it me? Next, got ah the race of this person. So another D10 roll, please. Hey. Okay.
00:54:57
Speaker
Someone's got this one. Someone rolled a four. Polynesian. so ah Half orc. Nice. yeah Hell yeah. I can see why you're yeah into this. Yeah.
00:55:10
Speaker
So we've got a half-orc person named Loon who plays the theremin. And lastly, this is you guys are going to know the contents of this roll, but I need another D10 roll.
00:55:25
Speaker
Six. Six. so Okay. And that's just these are going to be personal possessions. Okay. Okay. Okay. Keelan, I'm going to send Celine's picture to you just so you can pop them in there. It'll be quicker than me reaching across and doing it on hers.
00:55:43
Speaker
Okay, sounds good. I'm excited the surprise. So is there a type of music? Is there a certain kind of performance? Is there a genre that this person fits into? love that we're like a new wave band, like what Joey was saying. like i do to think it's I'm a new wave band.
00:56:03
Speaker
In the summer of Ska, like we're just like really trying to make it. Like it's very funny. and new is this person So is this celebrity also like a new wave kind of person? No, the celebrity is like a got spooky ska person. Do you think so? Oh, yeah. Okay. I get it. Yeah. they're like They're like a Jerry Dammers. we're trying to do like something different because ska too cool. Yeah. Yeah.
00:56:23
Speaker
like the big thing and we're and trying not to be sellout. So we're trying to be like punk. Even though we're in the checkered band. Yeah. yeah We got it from a ska band. It's the summer of ska. We're Scott Jason. We're Scott Jason. Side emails. Okay, yeah. So basically this person is going to be touring and that's going to be the show that you guys are going to right at the beginning of the adventure. so love this. It's like get him to the Greek.
00:56:47
Speaker
There is yes, actually there's there's elements of that. little bit of crossover. A little bit of crossover. so what we're going to do. I call Russell Brand. is we're going to start with and an encounter. and You guys are in your jam space and are at the outro of a song, just having finished, you know, kind of laying down some tunes. You guys are kind of getting a feel for each other, having been jamming for a few weeks at this point, probably. Yeah. um You guys are adventurers. That's how you make your living is is by adventuring. But you guys have also bonded over music. And so you guys have decided to, you know, really, really go at, get, get at this. And and and and you're in currently in in the jam space, the clockwork jam space.
00:57:30
Speaker
Yeah. So let's get performance checks rolled. We got 13 for Larjo. we For White Day, we had a 5 was your first roll.
00:57:41
Speaker
Well, no, that was a strength check. Ignore that. Oh, sorry. it's fifteen fifteen So it's 15. 15. So 15. Yeah. OK. So 15. And then Xena got a 10. So when you guys are this is what ah is going to be considered a group check.
00:57:53
Speaker
And when you guys are making group checks, I will use the median number of those checks. So in this instance, it is a 10. Yes. Cool. So with 10, that is... i mean, you guys are coming on the outro of this song. You guys have only been playing together for a few weeks, so it's not 100% there yet, but it's all right. I mean, you guys ah okay Yeah, it's it sounds all right. it's it's It was a pretty good pretty good jam session either way, even if you guys had a few flubs here and there.
00:58:26
Speaker
I mean, sounds like me playing some music. ah So with the three of you having been played playing music together for a bunch of weeks, ah you've even been mulling around maybe the name of a band.
00:58:41
Speaker
Is there a specific band name that you guys... Oh, boy. Oh, okay. Wait, I wasn't even thinking about that. Yeah. did say think about a band name. But we're like 90s new wave band. Yeah.
00:58:54
Speaker
90s New Wave band. When a New Wave was dead. Long dead. Hadn't gone through the resurgence of New Wave yet. i I feel like it's gotta be like a riff on like clockwork norm... normj?
00:59:11
Speaker
Or something of that. I'm the only clockwork individual. but It's true. well Okay. So, Selene... What do you think your band name should be, Selene? Band name? Yeah. Bad name.
00:59:23
Speaker
That sounds cool. This is on a left field. It's the Three orcs down. That's actually incredible. That's pretty good. I love it. Okay, three orcs down. Three orcs down. Three orcs down. Perfect. Three orcs down. Yay!
00:59:41
Speaker
We got there. Okay, so
00:59:49
Speaker
yeah you guys for natives performance jack all good You guys made a group performance check. Joey made your roll for you, Slim. Yeah, that's great. So yes, i ah and have been mulling around the maybe naming the band. Three Orcs Down is ah is one that has come up. this's come so It's come up. Pretty sick name. ah What I would like everybody to do now is to roll a perception check, please. Okay.
01:00:11
Speaker
And that's the same deal, just perception that same spot. Yep. Oh, nice. That is a natural 20 for Xena. can 17 for Larjo.
01:00:23
Speaker
And 15 for Wide Day. ah Everybody is able to hear ah some something approaching ah the door of the jam space.
01:00:39
Speaker
It's kind of like a weird scraping sound. And as you guys are kind of like finishing up this this this jam session, yeah, it's a very notable sounds of of steps or of like a foot dragging. Yeah.
01:00:52
Speaker
And a short time later, banging on your guys' door of your jam space. Who is it? Followed by groaning. ah And more banging. ah so your orc stand What would you guys like to do? Did you pay the rent on this place? Are you just using your same thing? I own it. yeah I own this place.
01:01:15
Speaker
I collapsed my drum kit because it's attached to me. I will go check it. I only talk like this. Okay. I go and answer the door because it's my space. that yeah like but Other people don't answer the door for me. house So door as you open the door, ah you are met with a zombie yeah who comes lunging in towards you. i would like everybody to roll initiative.
01:01:44
Speaker
ah So what we're going to do is we're going to get this in order here, and we're going to start with Larjo. You see ah basically why they go to the door, open it up, and this zombie just comes lunging in towards him.
01:01:55
Speaker
ah I jump out from behind my keyboards, and whip out my longsword, and I'm going to attack him with my longsword. Okay, so you go dashing in.
01:02:08
Speaker
Yep. Jump out from behind my thing, and wha- That is a hit. Hell yeah. That was an 11. And a 12 damage.
01:02:19
Speaker
12 damage. Wow. That is actually quite a bit. So you come lunging in as White Day kind of like steps to the side. Tiny little Larjo but comes lunging in with his sword. And he actually went right up through the zombie's chest. And on his back. And he just looks down.
01:02:39
Speaker
And he goes to slam you. ah But before he can, it is Xena's turn. Can I just try to hit him? You sure can. You can. ah try to hit him with my longsword? So it you take a swing with your longsword. That is a miss, unfortunately. A six is a miss. As you swing wide, the zombie kind of like stumbles backwards.
01:02:59
Speaker
thank you I tried. He's slow-witted, but he was able to see it coming in as Xena takes position to attack. ah So with that, we are going to move on to wide they.
01:03:11
Speaker
I'm going to cast a spell since that that's that's what's going to happen. I'm going to do a shocking grasp since he's right next to me. Yeah, for sure. So I'm going to shock him. Is that your voice?
01:03:23
Speaker
Yes, I am a robot. Bye, day. So 17 is a hit.
01:03:28
Speaker
ah so seventeen is a hit Cool. And then what do i do? You click where it says shocking grasp. click right where it says shocking grasp, and it'll roll the damage for you. Two. Two points of damage.
01:03:39
Speaker
ah You reach out and kind of grab onto Larjo's sword, and it surges through his body. um But it kind of, like, absorbs a lot of this shock. It seems to have been absorbed by this by the sword sticking out of his chest, mostly. Hmm. right.
01:03:55
Speaker
ah But, yeah, it wasn't a lot of damage, unfortunately. That's okay. so I'm okay with it. With that, the zombie is going to take a swing but it Larjo. yeah Because i got him.
01:04:11
Speaker
yeah you just I rolled a natural one. Oh, nat one. Nice. not one nice Take that, me. Nothing.
01:04:22
Speaker
no, no, no, no. Sorry. Yeah, I rolled a natural one. Sorry. Okay, so he critically misses as he goes to swing out at you. He kind of stumbles forward and is now kind of like a little bit more in the jam space with the three of you surrounding him.
01:04:37
Speaker
He's just kind of like, ra and so we're going to go back to Larjo. hu And I'm going to grab my sword with my other hand and swing at him with both hands.
01:04:49
Speaker
Swing at him with both hands. With big old miss with a seven. Seven is a miss. It is a miss. gang Just barely. and but You swing. ah You pull out your sword. and when You want to take a second swing. And he's kind of like stumbling around between three of you And you're like kind of like almost going to hit ah wide. they So you can like pull your swing a little bit and goes wide. Xena. Missed him.
01:05:11
Speaker
And just try to hit him again, I guess, right? Go for it. Go for it. Sorry about your zombie, gonna hit you with my long sword. Hit. 22. 22 is a hit. The zombie is still up. Oh, no. Oh, boy. As you slice in with your long sword as well, Xena. And you just go... Uh...
01:05:32
Speaker
Why'd they? All right. I'm going to cast protection from evil and on um that guy. Me? On Larjo. On Larjo? Okay. ah Larjo? Mm-hmm.
01:05:46
Speaker
You now, I believe, are protected from undead. So if he attacks you, you will he'll have disadvantage. Sweet. I believe that's how that guy works, right? Yeah, like it correct. Okay, so ah now that we get back around to the zombie, he is going to take a slam a attack against Larjo.
01:06:05
Speaker
And he's going to do that with disadvantage. he's going to take the lower of the two rolls. right, so that's a miss. That is a miss as he swings out. Okay. We are going to get back around to Larjo.
01:06:18
Speaker
I'm going to two-hand him again. I can't believe I missed last time. Here we go. That hits. Nine just barely hits. Thirteen. And he goes down. as a zombie, he needs to make but as a zombie ah yeah right he needs to make a constitution saving throw with a DC of 5 plus the damage taken. So that was 13 as DC of 18.
01:06:43
Speaker
Can he do it? Can he do
01:06:46
Speaker
can he do it can He rolled an 18 total. As you... And he falls down. He kind of... er ah He starts to stand back up.
01:06:58
Speaker
Xena. Can I really like aim for his head like through his head? So called shots are not really a thing in 5th edition, unfortunately. It's always assumed that you're attacking the most vital parts.
01:07:10
Speaker
I'd like to go with the attack roll. You just need to make an attack roll. What you do is you make the attack roll, and then if it's good, you describe how it happens. Yeah, if it's really, really good, then you can be like... Five is a miss, unfortunately. You guys are just like whiffing as the zombies like being bounced like pinballed between all of you. wrong wow I can't banish it, so that's going to be a problem. Why'd they...
01:07:33
Speaker
Yeah, let me see what I can do. What other what are the crazy things can I I hate Wide Day Clocksart. You hate Wide Day Clocksart? It's funny. it's just so stupid. And I have to see it all the time. And then your name is Wide Day. You know, last name Clocksart. I mean, Thunder Wave would be fun, but I feel like you all would get hit by that. And I don't know if I want to do that. i You can just give a little stab.
01:07:58
Speaker
can just give him a little poke with a dagger or something. I could. I'm just doing what my guy would do. Cantrips as well, too. I'll Shocking Grasp again. Yeah, go for it.
01:08:08
Speaker
17. Nice. All right. going to grab him. Four. So he's got to make another kind ah constitution saving throw. But it's just nine, right? Yeah, it's a DC of nine.
01:08:22
Speaker
He rolled a 14 total. Oh, no. zapped him, but he came back. Damn. Damn. ah Okay, Zombie. Man, this guy has proven to be a bit of a thorn in your side. as he goes to say gentleman He's going to spin, and actually i'm going to have him and go randomly here on the three of you Let's go. he spins back around to Larjo.
01:08:48
Speaker
Again. That is a 12 to hit. That is of miss. Okay. have protected you from evil. It's your turn, Marjo. Back to me. We're going two hands again. Kapow. Hits. Take that, yes. Son of a bitch with 18.
01:09:02
Speaker
And 12. 17. A DC 17. Come roll low, you stupid zombo. total of 21. God damn it. Why is he rolling so high? Why they roll so high? Yeah, that's what I want to Why do they roll so high? Why do they roll so high? Xena, see if you can down this zombie.
01:09:20
Speaker
I'm going to try and hit him with my locks. Technology. Two-handed longsword. That hits. Good. yeah now Now click on longsword two-handed and get that damage.
01:09:31
Speaker
So will it work if I click it from here? 11. Nice. he does So he gets to roll a 16 or higher. There's a failure. by Zena comes down. Finally, after bouncing this zombie around between all of you, come down, and it falls to lifeless.
01:09:52
Speaker
As you guys sit there kind of wondering what the heck just happened, the zombie came... What just happened? Why was there a zombie at the door? You hear footsteps. Oh, no. More footsteps. Coming up to the door, into the doorway appears a female elven woman. She's kind of like dressed very gothy.
01:10:11
Speaker
Ah, one of our fans. Yeah. She looks in. She's like, um my goodness. goodness. I'm so sorry. he got off his leash. I was walking him and and he must have been attracted to the sound. I'm so sorry.
01:10:25
Speaker
don't want to kink shame, but you got to get your pup on a leash. Also, like, that makes sense. We're a new wave fan. We're pro zone. That's our target audience. yeah And you can tell ah this this woman, maybe you've seen her around the the the neighborhood. This is Flo.
01:10:43
Speaker
She's a necromancer, and she basically was walking her... The local necromancer. walking She was out walking her zombie when he got off his leash. so sorry Sorry we had to really slice him up with these giant swords we carry around. She's like, no, I'm sorry. It's just he shouldn't be getting off his leash like that. It's just dangerous. so ah They know not what they do. Zombies. Well, well well yeah i'll I'll take him and and we we can get out of here. We'll get out of your hair. Come on, Pongo. And she like points points her finger down and the ah the zombie magic, this two-toned kind of magic comes spitting out from her from her finger and goes spinning around the zombie's head and kind of like into his face and his
01:11:25
Speaker
nose nostrils and he kind of like the eyes open back up walking yeah gets back up and starts to fall away whoa she really picked him up she you could you can tell she cast animate dead and uh reanimated him and she leaves and sorry and she leaves and pongo comes stumbling after her away whoa come to our show yeah i gotta work on my voice what does gwen how does she sound B-A-N-A-N-E-S.
01:11:53
Speaker
she says Stuff like that. right Like the shit is bananas? yeah shit I don't want to be black. So here we go. to Basically, you guys realize that you've got a show that you guys have to go to. Loon loon is going to be playing playing right away. oh yeah You guys want to go see Loon. we love Loon. You are going to to a venue called Hooligans.
01:12:14
Speaker
ah yeah so you guys are going tell you guys are going to head to a venue called hooligan Oh, we're going to Hooligan, my favorite button dive bar. Let's get some drinks and some loot. There's too many boot boys there. Yeah, to go catch a show. So with that, we ah if you guys took any damage, i don't think anybody took any damage. no Also, if there's any abilities that you guys have that refresh on a short rest, you guys can take a short rest.
01:12:37
Speaker
Sure. Cool. um Other
Social Media and Live Performance Announcements
01:12:39
Speaker
than that, we will take a break here, and we will come back to start the adventure proper after our break. Thanks for listening to Checkered Past. Hit us up on Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, and TikTok at Checkered Past Pod.
01:12:50
Speaker
Send us an email at CheckeredPastPod at gmail.com. To support the pod and get bonus content, including a full-length and unedited audio of this episode, sign up for the Checkered Head Patreon at patreon.com slash Checkered Past.
01:13:02
Speaker
We also have some Yum Yum Morska merch available at CheckeredPast.ca. Checkered Past is edited by Cutman and engineered by Joey. Our Scott Associate Producer is Chris Reeves, and a special thanks to our Dungeon Master, Keelan, who also did the theme song for today's episode.
01:13:19
Speaker
We will be performing at SPI Fest 2 in Connecticut, May 17th and 18th. Single day tickets are available at spifest.org. And until next time, I'm Rob. I'm Joey.
01:13:30
Speaker
And in the immortal words of, oh, I got nothing for this. In the immortal words of, uh, why they, what's a character? What words of Gary Gygax? A natural 20.
01:13:42
Speaker
On this episode, we battle imps, devils, and our own hubris as we continue the adventures of Larjo Hotstepper, Wideday Cloxard, and Xena Stefani in a Dungeons & Dragons real play on Checkered Past, the Skodcast.
01:14:01
Speaker
Music
01:14:35
Speaker
What up, Checkerheads? Welcome to Checkered Past, this podcast with Celine and Rob, the show where ah I, I, of the beholder and talking about the right state of, the right state of, the right state of your mind flayer, explore the history and impact of a different band each episode and hope to bring in new fans along the way.
01:14:56
Speaker
I'm Rob and this is my co-host with the most toast, Engineer Joey. Buongiorno. That was some of the most tuneful singing I've ever heard you sing, I think. feel. Was a tuneful? It was tuneful. you were You were like kind of keeping with the melody. Often it's it's not really there. No. I don't i don't make any, ah what do you want to call it, aspersions that I am a vocalist singer, that I am anything but completely tone deaf.
01:15:22
Speaker
yeah It made being in a band difficult, as can imagine. Yeah, yeah, I can imagine. that's That's a big part, being able to know what sound is what.
01:15:32
Speaker
I mean, i knew what sounds were what, I guess, but um if if it was like, you know, by ear or by feel, i was like, I don't have feel. I don't have ear. I need this to have math. well What are the tabs? Show me those things. the opposite of how I play music.
01:15:48
Speaker
Probably bad, having played it as long as I have, but, you know, whatever. There's no right or wrong way to do it. It's true. You do it all the way. You know, whatchamacallam, what's the jazz metal band?
01:15:59
Speaker
ah The jazz metal band. You know the one I'm talking about, the math one. The Dillinger Escape Plan. The Dillinger Escape Plan. They use sheet music to write their their songs. Many bands. Yeah.
01:16:10
Speaker
There are bands in Disgossian that use sheet music to write their music. I would imagine. It blows my mind. We've heard of Charts. Yeah, charts. We know what charts are. I know what charts are. I can't read the shit out of them. No, I can't read a goddamn thing on those stupid shits. Very impressive.
01:16:23
Speaker
i don't know if I've told this story on the podcast. I don't know even need this on here. but oh That's fine. It might be a pick-it-up type of thing. But one time, i watched a guy... i was doing a musical project thing that's totally different story. But I watched a guy sight-read an Iron Maiden solo and just...
01:16:40
Speaker
play it at like two-thirds speed his first try and fucking crush it and then just play it at full speed immediately just by reading the sheet music it blew my fucking mind to be honest i just it's it's such a skill that i don't even know if it's learned Like, I feel like some of that is just like, that's genius level.
01:17:01
Speaker
You know, like, prodigy. But it isn't, though. Like, the prodigy. Like, the prodigy. Or the prodigy of Mobb Deep. There are many prodigies. There's a lot of prodigies, apparently. Today, we're doing Skawd Ventures Guild Part Deux. No.
01:17:15
Speaker
Yeah, well, or it's part one one, but it's the second episode. It's one. It's part one. yeah It's the second episode. Yeah. Episode deux, Adventures Guild Part One. Yeah. It's confusing for you. It's like an anime. for us. It's like an anime?
01:17:30
Speaker
but Don't they have confusing titles like that sometimes? Well, sometimes they have the Gaten, where it's like the... the Anyway, doesn't matter. um but I started talking about it. I was like, no, no, no, let's not talk about this. That derails it completely.
01:17:43
Speaker
ah Tell the listener what we're doing, Joey. What if if you came in on the second episode, I would recommend you go back and listen to the first. But Joey, we'll let you know what this is all about.
01:17:53
Speaker
We're playing D&D, my friends. we are Our friend Keelan is ah DM. He DMs my weekly game. Well, he was DMing my weekly game. We switched to different parts. But anyways, he's ah quite good.
01:18:05
Speaker
And we're doing a Ska-themed D&D session. and And you're along for the ride. Yeah. And the the episode zero...
01:18:16
Speaker
First episode, session zero. Wow, I'm already confusing myself. Hey, you it would maybe titled it that way. No, Keelan titled it that way. Oh, dang. And I should have just went one, two, three. Everyone understands that.
01:18:30
Speaker
Zero, one, two is confusing for everybody. In the first episode, we created characters. Yes. And when you listen, we'll recount our characters, but Joey is a ah halfling barbarian. I am.
01:18:45
Speaker
Larjo Hotstepper. Larjo Hotstepper. I play the vainglorious Why They Cloxard, who's a clockwork sorcerer.
01:18:56
Speaker
And just wants to be famous. So famous. And Selene wants to. Selene is. Zena Stefani has the um the bravery of Zena and the slutty arrogance of Samantha from Sex and the City. Right.
01:19:16
Speaker
ah Right. It wasn't part of her namesake. but yeah wasn't But that is what the character ended up becoming. Yeah. Yeah. And she's a roguey, gigantic bard. Yes. And we're in a universe that has a bunch of Ska references petered all about that, in hindsight, Keelan snuck in and up we didn't really catch them. look for the Easter eggs. This is Easter egg hunt. This is an Easter egg hunt as well as D&D session. So you require little, if not no... not no knowledge. not Knowledge of this. All you need to know is that it's, you know, basically Dungeons & Dragons. So there's wizardry and and sword fighting and whatnot.
01:19:51
Speaker
ah And the adventure is pretty good. And we cut it up into pieces so that it's ah it flows really nicely, I think. And... Yeah. and sound effects. And there's lots of sound effects. Yeah. Lots of Foley. um Hell yeah.
01:20:05
Speaker
Joey, could you recall what happens in part one? It's been a pretty few weeks. But that's why I'm asking, because i think it'd be interesting to see if you remember anything. What? did we do im part one we had a band practice no that was the that was the session zero yeah oh no i can't you don't remember i'm gonna do it there's a there's a lot to look forward to in this one um we go to a show we did you show solve a puzzle there's a bong yeah yeah snuck in there for joey yes
01:20:41
Speaker
I remember now. And we end up in and in hell, actually, at one point. And that's where a lot of the action takes place in for the next part, too. So, yeah, it's pretty fun stuff. So hopefully you enjoy ah listening to the Scott Ventures Guild Part 1.
01:21:00
Speaker
So we left off. Session zero, where we kind of intro'd our characters a little bit and kind of got used to it and rolled our characters. So, ah yeah, let's get into the adventure. What are we doing?
01:21:11
Speaker
All right. well Let's get into
Setting the Scene for the Adventure
01:21:14
Speaker
the adventure. Let's get in there. I want to get into the adventure. What are we doing? So yeah, I guess last time, yeah, we had our session zero. We kind of established a lot of kind of the little bits and pieces of the world. um You guys helped me kind of flesh out stuff like, ah you know, the setting is going to be kind of like a ah ah tech ah contemporary to our times, but more with 90s pastiche and stuff like that. like, what did we help you with? I think you did everything. There's lots of blockbusters. walkbuster yeah we all Yeah, we also, so yeah, there's whatever blockbusters, yeah, line line the streets, blockbuster video.
01:21:48
Speaker
ah You guys also helped me... be Lots of mug root beer. You guys also helped me create an NPC and stuff like that. so And then we had a small encounter at the end, but... ah Picking up, we are going to have you guys heading over to the venue to go see a show. So with that... Did we even make a joke about, like, constitution of having, don't know, vitamin D overdose protection from too much Sunny D?
01:22:13
Speaker
You made that joke, yeah. yeah Yeah, but I don't know. Okay. yeah like the purple stuff. So... A little segue into ah the world and the place that we we're living in here. So we begin on the world of Dominus in the nation of staff, which is a bustling magical technocracy.
01:22:33
Speaker
A modern world that contains magical cars, phones, and computers, all with a 90s pastiche. Much of this world's advancements are thanks to something many refer to as the Two-Tones, a fountain of vast power that fuels the magic and magic users of Dominus.
01:22:50
Speaker
many hum Many heroes have arisen to defend and protect the power of the Two-Tones, but our story has much more humble beginnings. We go now to a venue called Hooligans, a gathering place of not just bards and rogues, but of all folk looking to take in an energetic musical performance.
01:23:07
Speaker
Our heroes, having originally united over their musical adventures, have come to the venue tonight to see Loon, ah headliner that all of them have been eager to see for some time now. Having just come from a for-fun jam session themselves, we see two individuals, Zina Stefani, a large ah Goliath bard, i forgot to work on my voice and we see why they clock so hard why they clock sard clock sard sorry why they clock sard sorry to mispronounce it's a common mistake he gets it all the time that's okay it's a it's it's a dialect thing exactly exactly i'm from the south uh what's your voice
01:23:48
Speaker
what's your voice I just did like I'm a robot. Oh, yeah. This is me. and We see why they clocks are at a ah sorceress, a clockwork soul sorcerer, autognome, a little robot man standing at the bar currently. If you guys would like to describe your characters, please feel free to do that.
01:24:06
Speaker
Who would like to go first? i'm I can go first. Wide the Cloxard is yeah like a tiny gnome. So I'm made up of steam ah pistons and clockwork.
01:24:17
Speaker
And um i i I play the drums for the band. And when my ah when i am playing the drums, the the kit actually comes out of me from a clockwork sort of yeah machinery around me. Like a very Transformers kind of... Exactly. You got it. It's just like Transformers. And then it folds back in on myself.
01:24:37
Speaker
Mm-hmm. um i'm a I'm of course little. I'm a wee guy. i have like a little ah pork pie that's like ah part of my – but it does it's not like a detachable hat. It's just a part of – Part of your body. That's cool. Okay. And glasses, like sunglasses, right?
01:24:54
Speaker
Of course. If anybody's seen our pictures that we do for the podcast, you get it. Your ah um uniform? Yeah, that's right. My uniform. And I just want to be famous, man.
01:25:07
Speaker
that's what it's all about i'm here to be famous i want to be the number one auto gnome drummer that the world's ever seen yeah and you're of course uh sorcerer uh you cast your spells by waving your drumsticks around my drumsticks are my i have them in both hands and i if i lose one drumstick no spells for me i gotta make sure i got them both uh xena Okay, maybe Zina Stefani talks like this.
01:25:32
Speaker
i like it. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Zina Stefani talks like this. Okay. i What'd she look like, though? ah She's a big, tall lady, but she's like a sneaky rogue. She's big, tall, like sexy.
01:25:48
Speaker
She's seen a body with a Gwen Stefani face, I guess, is the the image that that I'm looking at. Right? so I made it, yep. Yeah, and she's the lead singer of our band. She plays the guitar. very You're very tall.
01:26:03
Speaker
I'm very tall. How tall am I? You are a Goliath, so you... I'm a Goliath. That's my race. I am... don't know. you're like what eight nine feet probably almost i think you're just shy eight feet tall i think you put yeah and i'm like three feet tall i'm very beautiful obviously i'm teeny tiny yeah i'm just a little guy too yeah so it's just like it's just one big tall lady with two little guys a big tall sneaky bardie lady and yeah i'm a bard like a roguie bard type but i'm um a goliath so i think that's funny because i'm big and giant how do you talk sneaky
01:26:38
Speaker
I talk like this. Right? Isn't this how I was talking? yeah That sounded right? yeah Okay. Cool. Like you're about to like menace somebody. yeah Like you're always menacing people.
01:26:52
Speaker
um And i don't know. I feel like I'm pretty fun. my things that I rolled for on Roll20 are I'll settle for nothing less than perfection. i love a good insult even directed at me. That's Zina would like that too. Ha ha. I am the butt of the joke sometimes. Honesty. Art should reflect the soul, should come from within and reveal who we really are. I feel like that's, you know, Gwen Stefani, you know, really?
01:27:21
Speaker
And reveal who she really is, which i guess is like a Christian. country loving gal. on A lot of plastic surgery. I love Gwen Stefani. I don't know why I'm ripping on her. I will do anything. because she Yeah, she likes being the butt of a joke every now and then. I am the butt of the joke sometimes. so yeah So as you guys are standing there at the bar, ah the final member of your trio enters the bar having finished parking your guys' band van. That's right. forgot you had the van. Yeah. yeah ah Walking through the door, we see a halfling barbarian ah named Larjo Hotstepper.
01:27:58
Speaker
Here I come. Here comes the hotstepper, guys. Yeah, so you you can definitely give your... Here he comes. There comes the hotstepper. Yeah. If you would like to describe your character, Joey. H-O-I-R-E.
01:28:10
Speaker
i ah Yeah, I am halfling barbarian. I'm the keyboardist in the band. um I'm just a little guy, obviously. yes, sorry. Xena, you played the electric guitar.
01:28:24
Speaker
and Oh, yeah, and I have a magical electric guitar that I can send in scribe me messages to people. Right. like Sorry, Larjo, go ahead. Yeah, so I play keys in the band.
01:28:35
Speaker
I wield a great sword. It's like one of the best swords it's ever been. It's so great. yeah um yeah and i'm i am i am the the tiny tiny muscle yeah uh and i guess to clarify xena you are a glamour uh bard yeah black and uh larger you are a path of the beast yeah so uh and when i rage out i turn into a big monkey man um <unk>y do do that That's going to be my rage call. i i yes oh do do do doo do do do you do That's the one. so
01:29:15
Speaker
And our band is? Well, not quite yet. not quite yet Not quite yet. We'll get there. okay So as you guys are are standing, you guys are at the bar.
01:29:27
Speaker
A kind of like slow plodding bartender. Yeah. A slow plodding bartender walks up. He's a turtle, basically a turtle man. Turtle, turtle. You guys know. yeah It's Dana Carvey. Turtle, turtle. It's the I guess those 2000s. Am I not turtley enough? Cowbunker, dude. Uh, no, this is, uh, this is, this is Plortle, the tortle. Plortle, the tortle.
01:29:52
Speaker
Yeah. Uh, he's a bartender here at Hooligans and he just kind of walks up. do What can I get for everybody tonight? I would like a beer. Ale, please. Wait, it's the nineties. I'm going to keep forgetting. It's not medieval. that's So I would like a rev. Keep in mind that everything is still very much fantasy coded. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.
01:30:16
Speaker
It's the 90s, but we're we're where we're wielding swords swords and casting spells. so Yeah. Can I get a ye olde Orbits? A pint. Your best house pint. yeah yeah I love those little floaty balls. I pull out ah my dipstick to check my oil, and I'm like, no, I'm fine. Yeah, and Portal just a plural just kind of like steps off and gets you guys' drinks ready for you.
01:30:40
Speaker
So ah you guys see... Do you guys serve Cosmos here? yeah Your character changed. yeah That's the Gwen Stefani side. No, that would be, I was doing Kim Cattrall and sexism. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. there be any more men in this bar?
01:30:58
Speaker
You do have a half, it remember you have two-tone hair. Oh, yeah. I have half black and half white hair. Two-tone hair. So you could, like, change your, like, you know, appearance. Like, two-faced? Yeah. Okay, so my dark ah hair side is like this. And my blonde hair side Keep control. Is like this. I love it. And she'd like a Cosmo. And the other side would like a pint. Just two-fisted.
01:31:22
Speaker
So the the performances go off through the night, and eventually our headliner is going to be taking the stage. So a... Luna. Luna.
01:31:34
Speaker
Luna. Luna
01:31:37
Speaker
oh yeah that's right ah So we had also come up with the description of them being kind of always in a cloud of perfume, wearing a well-loved overcoat, ah takes the stage. Well, why did we do that? It was on a random list. I had a random list that you guys rolled for. Right.
01:31:55
Speaker
So, ah yeah, and their theremin is set up at the front as well, too. um They kind of like have, you know, slicked back, kind of like dark hair. The tusks kind of like poke out in that long overcoat, well embellished because they're very kind of like a flamboyant performer. We kind of came up with them performing spooky ska as well, too.
01:32:14
Speaker
And as, you know, the theremin kind of weee, weee, weee,
01:32:18
Speaker
of like starts up a beat kind of goes and a loon Stepping up to the mic, they say, Thanks everyone for coming and I hope you really like the set.
Chaos at the Performance Venue
01:32:29
Speaker
They raise their theremin up a little bit to start playing when suddenly a scream is heard in the middle of the crowd. For any music can start up, people suddenly part as a circle of fire grows in the middle of the dance floor.
01:32:43
Speaker
The fiery circle turns into a small tornado from which emerges a devilish figure followed by four menacing imps. Jesus. wow And basically these forearms fly out and this guy's now standing there. Goddamn metal heads. Yeah. Ruin and everything. join all these Who is ruining my spooky skull? Yeah, the crowd is just parted and this guy's standing in the middle of the dance floor.
01:33:04
Speaker
The figure's tall and lean wearing a suit with slick black hair. Two large wings sprout from their back and two curved horns sprout from their forehead. The fire dies and the devilish figure steps forward pointing a finger at Loon.
01:33:16
Speaker
You owe me, Loon. I told you if you didn't pay, I'd come for you, and time is up. Loon is standing on the stage, a fear in their eyes, but it suddenly gives way to anger as they shout back, I told you I wouldn't do it.
01:33:28
Speaker
oh and I won't get the so as you want. And the devil yells back, then you're coming with me. With a snap of his fingers, the four imps fly forward at the crowd. People run in terror, and you guys need to roll. Roll out of the initiative. There's too much fighting on this dance floor. Yeah. So you guys can... Matter on the dance floor. Uh-oh, that's not good.
01:33:48
Speaker
I rolled a three. I rolled an eight. I rolled an 11. Xena, you are up first. The ah imps fly out towards into the crowd and they start to kind of like square off with you guys. So ah if you want, you can either... bardic inspire? Can I inspire bardically? So ah yeah, you can use a bonus action to give bardic inspiration to somebody. Who would you like to inspire with bardic inspiration? Loon?
01:34:11
Speaker
You want to inspire Loon? I want inspire Loon. Okay, for sure. what What does that look like? um So Loon hears, pick it up, pick it up.
01:34:23
Speaker
Yeah, and the words kind of walked across the way. I got to pick it up. I got to i got to pick it up. Yeah, for sure. So Loon will actually get a D6 that they can add to a roll.
01:34:33
Speaker
like You're welcome, Loon. You now have an actual full action that you can take as well, too. So what would you like to do with your regular action? ah Okay, I'm going to use Vicious Mockery at the main... The Devil. but so So yeah, the it's the Devil and it's the... So you have you have the devilish figures standing in the middle of the dance floor and you have four imps that are flying out towards the crowd right now.
01:34:54
Speaker
And people are kind of fleeing from them. Yeah. So who would you like to attack? The Devil. Okay, so go ahead. or Actually, think he needs to roll something. He needs to roll a Wisdom Saving Throw.
01:35:05
Speaker
Or take one D4 Psychic. ah He rolled a seven, so that is a failure. Hell yeah. So that means he's going to take one point of psychic damage from... and it's literally just... Ha ha ha ha ha!
01:35:17
Speaker
Ha ha ha! Fuck, that mockery is vicious. You're stupid! you're stupid You're a little devil bitch. You're a little devil bitch. Why are you such a little devil bitch?
01:35:31
Speaker
Little devil bitch. This was the other thing. It also incurs, the target can hear you, it must succeed. That side, obviously. yeah obviously. And have disadvantage on the next attack roll it makes before the end of its turn. Okay. So, yeah, basically this devilish figure will now have disadvantage on its next attack roll as well as you.
01:35:49
Speaker
Sweet. Level, level, level, level this insult at this devil. That's cool. I've never barded. I once when was Bar-E B. That's right. But I didn't do a very good job. Anyways, that was fun. Okay, cool.
01:36:02
Speaker
Yeah, so after calling him a bitch, he just kind of like, oh, I kind of grabs his head. legs After calling him a bitch. He is a little double bitch. All right, imps are flying in towards the crowd. One of them is going actually square off with one of you guys. So we will roll randomly to see who one of them squares off with here.
01:36:21
Speaker
Why'd they? One of the imps goes flying in towards you. Why'd they? They are going to attack you. I don't like that. With sting. don't like that.
01:36:32
Speaker
Don't sting me. This like barbed kind of like almost scorpion looking tail. Don't sting me, bro.
01:36:39
Speaker
18 to hit. Oh, 100%. That hits me all up and down. Six points of piercing damage. Oh, no. Poor Wide He only clocked so hard. And nine points of poison damage.
01:36:53
Speaker
Oh, shit. Whoa, they really got you. 15. That's a big hit. Whoa! Sorry, that was just a really big hit. I'm not doing great, guys. Whoa, you're just a little guy. Oh, actually, apologies. You need to make a constitution saving throw. Okay, I can do that. Hey, it. Constitution save. Constitution save. That'll have the poison damage.
01:37:13
Speaker
if you pass it right please it do it robert i mean what are why'd they i rolled a two that's a natural one that's actually a natural one oh yes no i i don't think you saved you pretty hard so unfortunately i think you failed on that so you'll take the full damage that is 15 points of damage total oh now as a day no as a as a robot do i do i have some kind of does it does it do Do you have poison resistance? You have resistance to poison damage and immunity to disease. yeah So you take half from the poison, so that is actually going four points of poison damage. So you take ten points total. nice There you go. That's better. There you go. That's good.
01:37:53
Speaker
Reading. That's better. Reading my stuff. Knowing your characters, it's very important. But I mean, we're we're just starting off, so I don't blame you guys if you missed something. It's a thing you're a robot. Yeah. Hell yeah. I'm a robot. Shoots out. clang That like good sting kind of like hits the the chassis of your of your body. quiine But it manages to pierce through and kind of get into the yeah the the the inner bits as the poison kind of seeps, works its way into your mechanical system. Okay, so...
01:38:21
Speaker
ah we are going to do three more imp impact attacks that are just going to start. They fan out into the crowd, and you see them hit basically these people. Oh, shit. As these stingers go into these people's backs, wackla quack they fall down. I have one thing to say about that. Yeah, so these people are getting attacked by these imps. so It's going to be a bonus action. Yeah. So we are actually going to move on to Wydade. It is your turn. All right.
01:38:47
Speaker
Glock them back. So I need to cast ah protection from good and from evil and good because these are fiends, right? They are. Yeah. So I'm going to cast this actually Larjo, Hot Stepper. Okay. um So that he can you know to get some advantages on these on these attacks.
01:39:09
Speaker
Okay. So that is a concentration spell. We'll mark that you are concentrating ah But otherwise, that means every all of the imps or any attacks against from these imps on you, Larjo, will now have disadvantage.
01:39:21
Speaker
And it lasts for how long? 10 minutes. And you also can't be charmed, frightened, or possessed by them as well, too. so Okay. ah we And so that's your action. Did you have any bonus actions that you can take?
01:39:35
Speaker
Why'd they? That is a fantastic question because I have all these rando... mechanical stuff that I have. Yeah. ah You cast a spell, so you won't be able to cast another spell, basically, with a bonus action, but you can take a potentially regular kind of character trait action that might have the bonus.
01:39:55
Speaker
ah No, I think that's ah all I can do for now. Okay. All right. We will move on to Larjo. ah Well, I mean, all of these people are getting attacked by these imps, and that sends me into a rage, and I go, ay-ay-ay! And I transform into a little big monkey man. Okay.
01:40:13
Speaker
ah When you rage, you get to choose one of your things that you manifest. It's either, basically i think it's claws, bite, or tail. Yeah, I'm going to have like a monkey mouth. Okay.
01:40:24
Speaker
So the bite. Yeah. Oh, wait a second. Hold on. ah No, I'm going to do tail. Okay. So I'm going to jump in there and just stab that imp that tried to poison you.
01:40:36
Speaker
So I'm going to go two-handed. That is a hit. 15. Woohoo! Here we go. Damage roll. Five slashing. Take that, you imp.
01:40:49
Speaker
Yeah, you shoot out and just street cross this imp's chest and this black ichor. kind of like sprays across as you land a hit on him. ah So you used your bonus action to rage. ah You attacked anything else larger that you can do on your turn? I don't believe so. Nope. Okay.
01:41:06
Speaker
ah So this fiendish devilish figure in the middle of the dance floor, He water spreads his wings and starts to flap them, flies across the dance floor, speeding towards the stage.
01:41:20
Speaker
ah He kind of flaps down and lands right beside No. no not lo Not Loon. He flies up onto the stage. Not Loon. He grabs Loon by the front of their shirt, pulls them in close and says, you'll make a good headliner for eternity.
01:41:40
Speaker
And then they both thent then disappear in another flash of fire. Swoosh. Space jam. Ah, Loon! Monster, whatever situations.
01:41:51
Speaker
Oh, no! You'll play one-on-one So, yeah, with that, both Loon and this devilish figure are gone. The imps remain, continuing to menace the crowd. Well, and that that means where we just gotta fight these jerkos, hey?
01:42:07
Speaker
Who's next? uh so with that xena it is your turn um fight those jerkos so with the bardic inspiration i only only do that like three times in this hole yeah three bardics and then i i can't remember if it says you get him back on a short or a long rest i believe it is a long rest um and then vicious mockery i can just do whenever Yeah. You can, yeah. And you can just do regular, like, physical attacks as well. you have i know. I'm aware. I think you saying you have a good amount of slots as well, too, as far as your leveled spells go. I think you have, like, four poor level ones. But cantrips I can just use all the time. sure can. That's what I'm saying. To great effect, for sure.
01:42:41
Speaker
Especially Vicious Mockery. Isn't that a cantrip? It is. Yeah. So I can just mock anyone. Do you want to do that on one of those imps? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so the imp, if you're to cast Vicious Mockery on the imp, he'll need to make a, I believe it's another wisdom saving throw, yes?
01:42:56
Speaker
Yes. Okay, let's get that going on this imp. Take that, you little imp bitch. rolled a 10, which I believe is another failure. And I'm 13. And which imp would you like to attack? Would you like to attack one of the three that is in the crowd, or would you like to attack the one that is attacking Wide Day? The one that's attacking Wide Day. Oh, boy.
01:43:15
Speaker
Two damage doesn't down it. Okay. But it is very hurt, at and it will have disadvantage on its next attack. um is do Do you say anything specific to it to hit it with his vicious mockery?
01:43:28
Speaker
ah Take that, you little imp bitch. He like grabs his head. Size does matter to me. but Racked with ah with psychic damage. Rack. I love that Gwen Stefani is Samantha from Sex and the City. I feel like this is kind of like um a snatch game situation where like Gwen Stefani's not like funny enough.
01:43:47
Speaker
You know what I mean? So you gotta mash them together. So you do something else. Amp it up a little something. Yeah. But Zena's good on her own. Take that, you little imp bitch.
01:43:58
Speaker
ah Okay. Size does matter. Ha ha. I can laugh. I don't know if you have any other bonus actions that you can take, Xena. You could assign another bardic if you want. No, I don't want to waste my bardics.
01:44:10
Speaker
Okay. Yeah, you know that's fine. Absolutely. Okay. So with that, the imps turns. ah We will do the one that is actually in front of wide there as is attacking another sting. It's going with disadvantage. It rolled a six to hit.
01:44:27
Speaker
Why is it a disadvantage? because vicious mockery. then okay. Then yes, that misses widely. Yeah, so ah again, that's a stinger on the end of its tail shoots out and just goes wide.
01:44:42
Speaker
ah That's what a little imp bitch would do. As it's still kind of like holding its head. What a bitch that is. From the little, yeah, from that, man, that insult. Damn, man. Yeah, it's really getting him. He looks depressed. Yeah.
01:44:58
Speaker
ah Okay, so ah that is that imp. Now we have three other imps. If you guys rip on me 13 or 14 more times, I'm out of here. One of the imps is going to see ah kind of like Larjo engage and is going to turn around from the crowd and going to fly in towards to attack you. So Larjo, that is going to be an 11 to hit. That's a big miss.
01:45:19
Speaker
Okay, he misses. and then the other two, again, are going to stay in the crowd and they down another couple people. yeah No, down those people... Okay, so why'd they?
01:45:31
Speaker
I'm going to cast Thunder Wave. Okay. You're like Pikachu. am like Pikachu. We'll say you can catch a few... Pikachu. say we'll say... Pikachu. move... does that You can totally move into like a position where you'd be able to catch a bunch of these imps in in one shot. Yeah, I was thinking i could just get the two in front of me, too, if that's if that's the best best case scenario. Yeah, for sure, absolutely. With you and Larjo engaged...
01:45:57
Speaker
Yeah. would Is there a a risk that I will hit Larjo with my Thunder Wave? We'll say you can maneuver so that you you'll you'll only catch the two imps. yeah Then, yeah throwing that throwing that in there.
01:46:08
Speaker
They rolled a natural 20. Whoa. Which means that they are going to take half damage. oh Felt saving creature takes 2d8. That downs one of them though, right? and Thunder and is pushed 10 feet on a success. They take half and aren't pushed. So yeah, they're going to take half damage and they aren't pushed away from you guys. So four damage, right?
01:46:26
Speaker
Yeah. So they'll each take four. So the one that's in front of you, Wyatt Day, ah that was attacking you and is really hurt, you kind of like zip around him. And I don't know, is there a specific way your thunder wave goes?
01:46:37
Speaker
Manifests. I'm number one, right? And then just like my chest opens up, right And the pistons start pumping. And then it just like electricity shoots out.
01:46:48
Speaker
And then it kind of channels through my drumsticks to like metal tips. ah So thunder damage is like sonic damage is what it is. Oh, okay. So then it's just like a big loud. Yeah. Yeah. Basically. Yeah.
01:47:00
Speaker
It builds up. Oh, maybe I just slam my drumsticks together. Or just hit your little cymbals really loud. Oh, yeah. better Like my little cymbals come out of my little machine. You notice that none of them are wearing ear protection and you're like, ha, this make best. The one that was attacking you, that sonic damage. And his head just pops. Love it. The other guy, though, is up and still kicking. Ah, Grody, I'm going hit him with my sword. That sonic damage kind of hits him and rends his flesh a little. Okay, so anything else, Wyddae? think that's pretty much it. That's it for me. I'm running through my spells here.
01:47:36
Speaker
Yeah, again, not a whole lot of boom sacks. This other imp is going to taste the edge
01:47:45
Speaker
23, baby. That hits. Oh, yeah, that hits. Nine damage. You just leap down into this guy. Icar comes spill ah spilling out as he climbs to the ground.
01:47:56
Speaker
And as these guys kind of die, you see that their bodies are like melting into this black, disgusting goo. This is gross. yeah I don't like this. yeah I'm still number one, but that's gross.
01:48:08
Speaker
That's disgusting. I won't have what she's having. Okay, so two of them are downed. and We are on to Xena.
01:48:19
Speaker
So, sorry, what? There's one more? There's two more in the crowd. They're just attacking the crowd members. is it is a two more. This time. Should I just hit him with my longsword? One of them? Should just go up and hit him with my longsword? Yeah, I'm just going to go up and hit one with like my longsword.
01:48:34
Speaker
Absolutely. So that is a six to hit. Unfortunately, that is miss. Yes. Well, this broken. What happened? Here, I'll click it natural A natural one. You're all the natural one. I deserve that. I deserve that. Illegal rule. Unfortunately, Zena, you come running up in behind these imps that are now harrying the crowd and you just kind of like take a swing, but one of them can hear you.
01:49:02
Speaker
This big, huge Goliath footsteps kind of coming up and they kind turn as quickly as oof you swing and miss. ah We are on to the imps. That imp is going to turn and attack you, Zena. Why though? Why'd they? Why'd they turn and hit me? That is a 10 to hit. I believe your armor class is higher than 10. 14.
01:49:23
Speaker
yeah so that's so nice about being a goliath and sneaky there you go it's a combo of your armor and your dexterity that you uh that i love that i love that i've never had a good ac in my life uh well i mean there's not that good i was gonna say a level a level one fighter with defensive uh fighting and uh shield would have an armor class of like 19 oh my god yeah that would be cool yeah yeah so if you're just gonna be like do that next time just be if you're just a human fighter yeah you probably have an easy time with this game like it yeah like you would have a ton of you would have a ton of hit points in a super high arm class and then you're not adding flavor also you wouldn't have to really think about what you're doing you're just like i go up and hit well and i i so the uh in in fifth edition there are battle master uh fighters and they get like maneuvers and you got like a bunch of extra like
01:50:15
Speaker
things that you can do they're they're not spells but they're they're like basically extra abilities that you get to choose from and there are subclasses too so you can have different fighting styles for sure absolutely whatnot so uh okay uh imp uh went rolled a 10 to attack you xena missed missed the other imp is going to turn and kind of like move in to attack you as well is another 10 to hit xena yay I miss this. They're like, hey, what the heck?
01:50:45
Speaker
You can't just kill us like that. We're not just going to let you walk over us like that. Try and catch me, fools. Bitch. You can't catch me, little imp bitch. You're being a real Freddy Krueger over there. Two people at the same time. i'm going to be, i because I keep calling people bitches. Wide day, it is your turn.
01:51:06
Speaker
Okay, so... i think of being more of a two-face, but anyways, sorry, why'd they... Gotta flip a coin if you're gonna be two-faced, Sam. so all So, out of my my clockwork, out of my arm, a crossbow kind of like pops up.
01:51:21
Speaker
And I'm gonna shoot the one that's attacking, or that had the first one that was attacking... Sure, yeah. I was gonna call you Elvira. Different character. Xena Stefani? That's hard to say. No, it's not. Rolls off the tongue perfectly. Okay. 19. That hits.
01:51:38
Speaker
19. Xena, the... Six points of damage. Ska princess. Yeah. It's still up as you ah basically... yeah That little thing pops out and arrow, crossbow arrow or bolt goes flying and sticks into his back. He's like squaring off with you, Xena. He's like all kind of like... And then like he gets into the back and he's like... oh and We are on to Larjo.
01:52:03
Speaker
Okay, I'm going to scoot in to where that one that just got stuck with an arrow and is attacking Xena. Sure. Thanks, boys. Thanks, my little guys.
01:52:13
Speaker
no problem. Whoa, that's who that's a but big Natural killing
01:52:23
Speaker
And that is 12. Yeah, you clobber this guy. You cut him in two. Cleave him in two as you just, the long sword goes through butter. And just the black hickor kind of like sprays Take that, you buttery hickory imp.
01:52:37
Speaker
So you like, because you're so tiny and you have this gigantic sword that's like taller than you. Yeah, it's a pretty good sword. It's pretty good. don't know if it's great. But, like, are you clumsy with it?
01:52:48
Speaker
Really not. No, that doesn't mean anything. You guys know what you're doing. Why are you chirping him? like No, I'm just like, I'm trying to imagine. I'm in the theater of the mind. yeah well And I'm listening to it. Picture.
01:53:04
Speaker
Ah. Ah. Ah. Picture me like Final Fantasy character. You guys are level three adventurers at this point. You know what you're doing. This is my first adventure. I don't think Larja would look weird or awkward swinging his sword around, even though he's tiny. He knows what he's doing.
01:53:21
Speaker
He's like a tiny little Conan the Barbarian. I'm like Cloud.
Band's Stage Performance
01:53:24
Speaker
knows what to with that thing. I'm like Cloud. I got great big sword, but it's so fun. He's like Vern Troyer. It's like a kickstand. yeah Keep in mind that he's raging right now, too, and in his rage form, his his face is changing.
01:53:37
Speaker
I look like a little big gorilla monkey man. Wait, no, because... Hold on. I realize, though, because my beast thing said have a tail, and I keep saying monkey man, that isn't a gorilla man. That is a monkey man. So feel like I kind of look more like Diddy Kong. That's cute. Actually, you would look like Goku. Does your tail give you any abilities?
01:54:00
Speaker
Yeah, but it's when somebody attacks me. Okay, gotcha. So I will use it if I have the opportunity. you would actually look like Goku in like the original Dragon Ball. Yeah, i like except for my little balls is not hanging out. for your day Correct.
01:54:12
Speaker
Is his dick and balls hanging out? Yeah, at the very, very beginning, yeah. At the very, very beginning? You see anime Goku's dick and balls. I didn't know that. As a child. He's just got a little. At a point, we have to stop and watch free frame a free frame we'll be back watch every he also he also touches everybody else's dick and balls really are you joking no yeah he's that's how he had said he identifies people were you early on in the show no he doesn't he isn't able to differentiate between boys and girls so that's what he does to do that to do does he touch people's vaginas as well yes
01:54:48
Speaker
So he just fucking sexually assaults anyone? What did they say about it? As a 10-year-old. What did they say about it? They're horrified every single time. They're like, what the hell are you doing, kid? This real. This is real. And everyone likes Dragon Ball.
01:55:03
Speaker
but I don't know if everyone likes it, but yeah. Of all I haven't watched a lot of animes, but I've actually watched ah at Dragon Ball from like the beginning all the way through to Super. So why did it did it just like get... but Why did it start so weird? Why'd they? Why'd they get so weird? This is probably not going to the main episode. but So the original...
01:55:25
Speaker
Dragon Ball. because So Akira Toriyama started making a gag, right? Gag manga. Like, Dr. Slump was his first one. Which is just jokes. Okay. and Only jokes. And a lot of dirty jokes. Like, he liked to have fun.
01:55:38
Speaker
And then like that fun so when Dr. Slump got canceled, he's like, well, I'm just going to do one that's like that, but is the story of Journey to the West. So Son Goku is from Journey to the West. like but So it meant to be like way wackier. and like It is wacky.
01:55:53
Speaker
the first in the Everyone's named after vegetables and underwear. Yeah. Yeah, it's all vegetables and underwear. And it just more serious? Yes. And so the first arc of Dragon Ball is just a big goof-off fun time.
01:56:04
Speaker
And then eventually they they fold in like ah more characters and build the universe up. Once it gets to the time skip... Because I've only been to Z. right so z is the time skip when he goes from being a kid to being one of the one of the very first things that gets wished in in the cartoon in the in the anime is a pair of panties yeah okay the pig the pig wishes for it yeah and he like stops the evil person stops that's why peel off finally yeah for peel off for making by by the original dragon ball is fucking amazing at the end it's really good
01:56:37
Speaker
It's right up until like, ka I like the Kai versions of Dragon Ball Z because it cuts out so much of the, yeah the, like, yeah I think, I think it eats shit right around the cell one, but I, I'm, I'm not. Yeah, after cell, the boom. That's wild. The more you know. Yeah.
01:56:55
Speaker
That's all crazy. I have em all if you want to read them. I don't, I don't, I'm just really disturbed that that's like what he does. Yeah. I'm just a little disturbed by it. It's just a little monkey thing. Anyway. Anyway. So we still have an imp that we need to kill. Larjo,
01:57:12
Speaker
I believe your turn is done. Yes, Larjo? Yeah. Xena, it is your turn. There is one imp standing front of you. Yeah, can just try to hit him with my sword? do it please take a swing nice that hits absolutely uh so if you just click the long sword so yeah with that you slash out with your long sword and you just cleave this guy's head off nice all it's left is just like kind of like sizzling piles of black goo uh from these imps as you guys finish them off and that is the end of combat Take that, you imps.
01:57:47
Speaker
Nice. I'm not doing good, guys. Good job, y'all. So i i put i put I put a healing potion on all of you guys' sheets. Oh, thank you. Also, Xena, you've got some healing spells that you can definitely throw out. Oh, you know what? I might have one, too.
01:58:02
Speaker
You can also, I believe, mend yourself somehow. Yeah, I do have a mending thing. Continue. Yeah, you're an autognome, so if you cast mending, you can ah spend a hit dice immediately.
01:58:13
Speaker
Oh, that's a cool thing to be able to do. Yeah, normally you would only spend a hit base on a short rest ah to regain hit points, but in this instance you can get it back immediately by casting Mending on yourself.
01:58:25
Speaker
Do you need your boiler topped off or anything? I just get a wrench out and I start like... Yeah, you have three hit dice based on your level, so you can just choose, I think, or you can just roll a single hit dice, i think is what it is, and spend one of those. Just pull out a little oil, those little oil can things.
01:58:42
Speaker
Oil can. Hit dice should be just in the middle of your character sheet there. Oh, in my character sheet. Oil can. Was that Wizard of Oz? Yeah. Yeah, like that that's how she met the Tin Man? That's right.
01:58:53
Speaker
And he goes, we cur and then shes oh that's It's all Wide Day heals back three hit points with a mending cantrip. Nice. ah And so with that, so the yeah, the devil has vanished and ah the imps are defeated. And with that, the bartender, Portal, he kind of like pumps over to you guys and he's like,
01:59:14
Speaker
Well, that was quite a thing. ah That was crazy. he He's like, well, what too many pitches? I'm not exactly sure what we're going to do now. Our headliner's gone. and he kind of like stops for a second and he sees. i crack my knuckles. Yeah. He sees the guitar strung over your back, Xena. And he kind of like looks at the three uses.
01:59:34
Speaker
Hey, you guys are kind of musical. You maybe want to hop up on stage and give the people a performance? Does this answer your question and i've all my drum kits kind of come out of me? yeah a We are ready to give the performance of a lifetime. I'm just going to run out to the band for my keyboard. Yeah.
01:59:53
Speaker
We'll say you always have to kind of to have like maybe even a keytar on your back or something. Fuck yeah yeah. If you need to so you can go whip it out and perform. Like a little melodica. Just a little melodica. Yeah. Like the children of Bodom. Yeah. So Portal kind of like gets up on stage and he's like, well, everyone, I'm sorry Loon couldn't perform tonight. That was a hell of a thing that happened though, wasn't it? Is he Canadian? Are they are they are they carrying? That was a hell of a thing though, way was a habit wasn't it?
02:00:21
Speaker
Are they carrying out the dead bodies of all these people? Like what's going on here? People have been, well, actually would ask, Xena, would you help some of the people who maybe were downed and stuff with some healing? good What role play? What's in your characters? I'm just literally just about to be like, ah. No, I don't want to help anyone. If it's a cantrip, yeah. I don't want to use up stealth slots. You don't have any healing cantrips. You've only got healing spells. You've got to spend some... How many people are down? There's two or three people who are downed by these. What kind of people? I'm going walk around the pit and try and pick them up at least. Yeah.
02:00:58
Speaker
if If you're not going to like if you're not goingnna cast healing on them, people would have are helping them and and meant tending to them. Yeah, they seem fine. That's fine. So Portal portal says... We're here to see a show and or play a show, not heal people. So with Portal's weird kind of joke, he says, coming to the stage, we have the people who saved our lives. yeah what do you guys call yourselves?
02:01:21
Speaker
did we or Did we think of this? Yeah. You actually came up with the name. What was it? John Daly. No. Oh, yeah. Three Orcs Down. This is Three Orcs Down. Oh, well. Coming to the stage, we have Three Orcs Down.
02:01:38
Speaker
And everybody's like, yeah. And as you guys take the stage. Yeah? Awesome. You defeated the emce. You kind of saved them. Otherwise, more people would have died. Yes. and Okay. Okay.
02:01:49
Speaker
ah So ah with that, I would like you guys to make a group performance check, and you guys will do this with advantages. Everybody is If i go crazy, I will kill these M's and the devil too. And then... Oh, no.
02:02:04
Speaker
That's a critical thing. Wait, I'm lucky. On advantage, though. we're doing these with advantage. So you actually rolled a 17. So we're okay. Actually rolled 17. Well, you're shredding, man. 17. Dina, performance check, please.
02:02:17
Speaker
Oh, also...
Mystical Discoveries and New Quests
02:02:19
Speaker
Oh, 20. Your skills? Your skills, you should be able to just... Oh, no. She got it. she Oh, right there. Sorry. Okay. 26. 26. Whoa. So with group performance checks, I'm going to take the median number, which is the middle one. 17 is your guys' basically group performance check that, which is very good. though it doesn't look like I'm doing very good.
02:02:41
Speaker
it doesn't look like i'm doing Yeah. It looks like I'm missing some stuff. It doesn't matter. The rest of the band is picking you up and and making you look good. So what happened was because I got beat up so bad by that tail, I'm like missing pieces of my kit. So I'm like just like I try to improvising around like i don't have the high hat. What do they sound like?
02:03:02
Speaker
ah Yeah, I think it's just like the money piece or something. It's pretty simple. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's just like shut to like... All right. And I can't even do that. Just like on the clock beat. Yeah.
02:03:18
Speaker
and to it's a good thing you're literally a metronome
02:03:26
Speaker
just like on the clock beat yeah Okay, so yeah, basically with that performance check, everybody is applauding you. They're super into it. We're picking it up. You guys give a memorable performance Three Orcs Down. The very first performance of Three Orcs Down. People remember this at Hooligans that one time. You know you remember? the devil showed up. Yeah. Three Orcs Down played. Some weird band came in right after. pretty traumatized. but that was not bad. there wass a bunch even on those It was a bunch of adventurers saved our lives and then they got on stage and played an awesome show. It was this sweet.
02:04:03
Speaker
a Hell yeah. Drummers seem to be fucking up a lot though. Do we get paid? Classic question. Well, I mean, with that, you guys probably would get the headliners. Whatever the headliner was supposed to get. so We won't worry too much about money in this situation, but you guys as individuals, you've all made your money as, you know, adventurers and stuff like that. So that's a career you can have in this fantasy world, despite the fact that it's, you know, contemporary. I get enough have the performance, my workshop, where we also do our jam, right? Yeah.
02:04:38
Speaker
For sure, yeah. You have a jam space as well. And I made enough to keep my blade sharp. So with that, we are going to advance the the timeline. oo Months go by. well So several months have gone by, and you guys have established your new band for Yorkstown. With a few shows under you guys' belt, you've returned to the place that started it all, Hooligans.
02:05:01
Speaker
Sweet. It's late as you're loading the as you're loading back into the van after a show. ah One of you guys ah is kind of out at the van. Let's do this. This is me, bad Tetris-ing. Yeah. Lucy's kind of out there.
02:05:19
Speaker
Xena, you're kind of out at the van. When you notice, um you know, Thwydday and Larjo are kind of going back and forth and you're kind of standing there. You look over in the van and there's a a bong kind of like sitting kind of empty or whatever.
02:05:33
Speaker
A bong? A bong. Oh, a bong. That's my bong. B-O-N-G. B-O-N-G. No, if it's an empty bong. I just smoke it without any water in it. It doesn't have any water in it, but for some reason the chamber has a full thing of smoke in it. The chamber is all full of smoke.
02:05:52
Speaker
And as you're looking at it, you realize that like ba you realize that this yeah this bong with this chamber of smoke in it, it's not like dissipating, it's not leaving, it's not going anywhere. It's just because the smoke seems to just kind of like be sitting inside. the floor um Can I yeah use my ah is anyone around us?
02:06:08
Speaker
Well, these guys are kind of coming and going. Otherwise, you guys are kind of probably in the back of the venue. And i' they're just near me. Yeah. I just wanted to use my guitar to scribe a message to them, but I can just tell them. You know what? I use my guitar. Can use it like all the time? Well, I use my guitar to scribe a message to them that there's a bong over there. I encourage. encourage it um so what your your guitar what does it allow you to do again it gives you the ability to yeah i just start kind of like playing my guitar i believe i can send so while while you are playing it you can use an action to expend one charge from the instrument and write a magical message on a non-magical object or surface that you can see within 30 feet of you the message can be up to six words long and is written in a language you know If you're a bard, you can scribe an additional seven words and choose to make the message glow, family. Can put it on the bong and be like, look over here? Like an arrow, too? Yeah. Bong here. Can I do that? Yeah, absolutely.
02:07:08
Speaker
So you guys step back out and you see this like little glowing sign that Zina has created, kind of like almost like a little neon sign that's now glowing above the bong. Say that and that shiny sign's calling my name.
02:07:22
Speaker
I think there's a bong over there. As you walk up, Larjo, you see... Hey, guys, check out that bong. Yeah. Larjo, as you walk up, you see your bong sitting there with a chamber of smoke sitting in it that doesn't seem to be, like, leaving the bong in any way. Well, who filled this thing up and didn't take their hoot? That's weird etiquette.
02:07:39
Speaker
I'd be careful with that bong. It's mysterious. I mean, it's just my bong. I'm just going to haul it. Don't you think that smoke's mysterious? It's too late. really said, I'm a trisexual. I'll try anything once.
02:07:59
Speaker
You really did? Oh, he did. Why'd you do this, you dumb bitch? As you inhale the smoke, it kind of like a sharp kind of like feeling kind of enters your lungs.
02:08:14
Speaker
And almost immediately, you feel this kind of like a kind of like weird feeling in your lungs as the smoke starts to come back out of your mouth out of your nose. I'm barfing smoke! yeah and it's just kind of like It seems to be like kind of like pulling and pushing and ah trying to ah rend its way up out of your lungs well um as it comes up a small and as it starts to form a small humanoid with sharp features forms in front of you hovering a couple feet off the ground he's like hey hey Please don't hurt me. i come in peace. the fuck? And as he kind of forms this weird little smoke monster, he's a smoke meffet, is now ah before you begging not to be attacked. He's like, please, come in peace. More like came in a bong. That was uncomfortable. Why were you living in a bong? was just hiding in there for the time being. I'm sorry.
02:09:05
Speaker
For the time being, are you a genie? That was some genie Are you like a bong, a weed genie, a bong weed genie? No, no, I am not a gin. That's what they are. I am a simple smoke method, ma'am. As he kind of dips, he goes to do a little dip and kind of tip his hat. And as he does, his smoke head kind of forms into a hat.
02:09:25
Speaker
As he lets go, he kind of forms back into his head and like disappears. I'm picturing him like one of Casper the Ghost's uncles. But Smokey? I demand that you tell us what is your deal. I'm so sorry sorry. My name is Smokey. It's very good to meet you.
02:09:42
Speaker
Smokey? Okay, that seems unoriginal. Well, mean, you work with what you got. How'd you get into my van and my bong?
02:09:55
Speaker
Oh, well, I was searching for some great heroes, and I think I found them. You three. my My bong convinced you were great heroes? No, no, no, no. Sorry, sorry. Let me explain. I've come a very long ways. I've come from H-E double hockey sticks.
02:10:12
Speaker
Oh. I'm illiterate. What's that? Hell. Hell. Hell.
02:10:19
Speaker
hand it out i actually i work in the place a club in hell run by a devil called circa keum aooth everybody calls him auggie though hell i've heard i'll probably call him auggie too sometimes city of sins am i right yeah apparently apparently you guys fought him some months ago and well Well, now there's a ah person who's performing at the club named Loon who begged me for the help begged me to help. That was our first show. Loon.
02:10:50
Speaker
You're going to have to narrow it down. I don't remember. I remember that little devil bitch now. Me too. They did Loon. The place with all the bitches. Yes. Remember when there was all the bitches? I don't know who this is.
02:11:03
Speaker
I guess it's still the same. this Loon, loon they were they were begging me for help and to help escape the predicament as an eternal indentured servant. well ah that That sounds bad.
02:11:13
Speaker
They're forced to play music for throngs of fiends for the rest of eternity. That sucks. I would really like to help Loon. Like an opposite of space jam of some kind. How much would that pay?
02:11:26
Speaker
Well... I need rent money. His workshop doesn't pay for itself. Are trying to take his job? Is that what you're saying? Loon said that they could compensate anybody who would be able to help rescue them. Oh, cool.
02:11:39
Speaker
Sweet. Yeah, I'm into it. I would love to save my favorite artist. You're going to help? ah Yes. Oh, my Yeah, that's amazing. Well, maybe she needs a new drummer.
02:11:49
Speaker
If you're free after all this, I'd be down to help. Now, I'm the creepy bard. I always like that. Nobody told me that sometimes there's creepy bards. You're the problematic bard. It's happening. It's happening.
02:12:05
Speaker
You just kind of slide into it. You just sort of slide into it
02:12:11
Speaker
I'm sorry, Caleb. I don't take it personally. I just assume that you're hitting on Smokey. Thank you, kind lady.
02:12:22
Speaker
you kind lady He tipped his hat again. Another tip of the hat. Doffed his cap. Yes. ah He says, well, yes, Loon will be able to compensate you for any, for for you guys helping, helping rescue them.
02:12:38
Speaker
i'll lead I'll be able to lead you all to, to back, back to the club. though If you follow me. Maybe Loon can get us on their record label. You seem like a trustworthy guy. Yeah. because You guys want to roll insight checks at all? Oh, yeah. That is a good idea. Maybe. yeah I'm kind of dumb. If you guys are going to take them at face value, it's all good. You don't have to roll insight checks. But i'll give that i'll I'll offer that up for you guys if you want. That's very kind of you. You could have just let us get fucked.
02:13:06
Speaker
I'm not that smart either. Smokey's just leads you guys right into a trap. not very smart either. We're a bunch of dummies. I have a minus one, but I'll do it anyways. Why did of us decide to be smart?
02:13:18
Speaker
Xena. Oh, wow. Yeah. Wow. Everybody rolled really good. Larjo with the slowest insight check, 15. Xena, 19. ah as zena nineteen And Whitey at 21. You guys can read Smokey as being very genuine and very authentic. Oh, that's good. good.
02:13:37
Speaker
I love Smokey. Smokey is my best friend. I don't detect anything weirdly about this guy. Smokey, can I ask you what you did with the weed in my bong, though? did you Did you smoke my weed?
02:13:48
Speaker
ah There wasn't any... i you know When wait news I I think. Real quickly here. get Rolling inside. Rolling inside. That's a 10. You believe Smokey. Yeah, Marjo, Smokey. Four for Larjo, six for Xena. Yeah, you guys. yeah role and an obvious roll in his eyes. Yeah, there was no weed in I guess weed. You must have smoked it already. it Sounds like something. That sounds like Larjo not having weed in his funk. You must have smoked it all. Yeah, you must have smoked it all. Larjo.
02:14:31
Speaker
Probably just forgot. I love we're dumb.
02:14:36
Speaker
Okay, so We are our DIY musicians. As you guys finish packing up the van. and podcasters.
02:14:46
Speaker
Damn, Joey. Yeah, that's all of our listenership. Calling out your own kind. I said and podcasters, so yeah, calling out our own kind. so I like to laugh at myself. Ha ha. Exactly.
02:14:58
Speaker
With that, Smokey directs you guys. Yeah, you but finish packing up the van and you guys take off. Smokey
Entering Hell to Rescue Loon
02:15:05
Speaker
directs you guys to a park just outside of him an abandoned train yard.
02:15:08
Speaker
and The method leads you through a hole in a chain link fence down into a dark tunnel. You walk along old tracks, your steps echoing off the walls. Smokey quickly leads you to an alcove right there, right there, as he motions to a pile of rotting crates.
02:15:26
Speaker
yeah You guys can see a crack in the foundation big enough to kind of squeeze through. as you kind of wind your way through, it starts to turn into a series of brick tunnels. moving through the Moving through these tunnels, the air becomes warmer.
02:15:40
Speaker
The tunnel eventually opens with a hot, damp, musty room that has probably been there for a very long time. It's been turned into some sort of altar or shrine. An array of infernal symbols are scrawled in some sort of white plaster paint on the walls.
02:15:53
Speaker
On top of the makeshift shrine are eight decorative marble urns arranged a foot apart from each other to form a horizontal line in front of you from left to right. I've been told to go to hell before. I guess this is how.
02:16:05
Speaker
Yeah, who'da thunk? I thought you had to, like, die. um What's with these urns? Is this a little Nicky situation? s Smokey is looking. He's like, well, I'm not exactly sure what's going on. i came through the portal on the other side. It was just open. And when I came through, was open here.
02:16:21
Speaker
I thought I'd go find you. And now we're back in. The portal's closed. So and what do the urns look like? So they're just kind of innocuous, like, basically kind of funerary urns, probably, like, overweighed and, like, you know about that high with, like, a lid on top.
02:16:35
Speaker
I'm going to just walk up there and pick up one of the urns. Okay. Which one? One through eight? ah Number three. Okay. And you just pick it up and just shake it? Pick it up and kind of inspect it. Give it a shake. yeah Maybe even see if I can open the lid. Take a look in there. As you open the lid.
02:16:52
Speaker
a weird chime. Ding. oh that's That's fun. ah That sounds awesome. I want to try that. I pick up eight and I take off the lid. A puzzle. No sound comes out.
02:17:05
Speaker
I set down the urn and I just lift the lid off the one next to it. Which one? Two or four? Two. oh Ding. it's a lower sound.
02:17:16
Speaker
Okay, so it's like a xylophone kind of. but Except that eight had nothing. I'll try seven. Ding. Oh. So they it seems to do sounds. I'll do one.
02:17:31
Speaker
It's like a keyboard. ah I'm going go from 1 all the way up to 8.
02:17:40
Speaker
And 8 doesn't do anything. And nothing else happens? Yeah. Is there anything? other way I don't know why I'm doing it with my voice. oh go I do it the other way. from 8. So nothing on 8. Yeah, 8 to 1. It goes down. Nothing?
02:17:53
Speaker
yeah e to one
02:17:55
Speaker
dooooooooooooodooodooo it goes down nothingh And nothing happens. Okay. Can I just eight, eight, eight, eight? Did you just say eight? Well, like as' it's the urn and the Yeah, as you open the lid, nothing, no sound comes out. just keep doing this. Yeah. Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing. What's around me?
02:18:13
Speaker
So ah the walls, again, are lined with all sort of infernal symbols and stuff that are weight ah done in this kind of white plaster paint that kind of like sticks out. Can anyone read infernal?
02:18:26
Speaker
No. I can't. Or have a spell that lets them read stuff? No, i don't I don't have one either. um I ask... We're done. We're just done. I ask Smokey, what do these sounds mean to you? Is this important?
02:18:42
Speaker
I'm 100% sure. Maybe these symbols might have something to do with these. Can i analyze the symbols? Yeah, it can personal. Is there like... Investigate, I guess? If somebody wants to investigate symbols, me an investigation. Yeah, let's do it. Xena, rolled 10. Why'd You had 7.
02:18:58
Speaker
Both of you probably wouldn't be able to discern anything specific from what you're looking at. Larjo, you're looking at the symbols, and you start to realize that they're arranged in kind of a repeating pattern.
02:19:09
Speaker
And ah because you guys are musicians, you start to recognize that pattern as bar music. And basically, it shows notes going from C to B. Okay. Without that last eighth C there, it's missing.
02:19:24
Speaker
o Well, can I reorder the urns into that order? The urns were already in that order. In that order. Oh, they were in that order. We're looking for the C. We're missing the C. The final one. Where is the final C note? I pull out my keyboard yeah and I play. note, that's 100. I play a center C. Ding. Oh, good call. And with that...
02:19:48
Speaker
A weird portal starts to open on the wall. You guys see ah yeah ah a see a little description here for you fiery portal forms on the wall of the room. Smokey waves you all on as he jumps in yelling, to hell with you! And he disappears. when yeah Basically, you guys see...
02:20:08
Speaker
This isn't the first time I've jumped into a mysterious hole that's on fire. What does that mean? Going into a portal little
02:20:19
Speaker
now. Sexually. yeah, with that, yeah basically the portal is to hell is opened as Larjo plays the missing C-note.
02:20:31
Speaker
Hell yeah. Well, I'm going to... Get in, guys! Wee! And then I'll follow everyone in. Okay, yeah. So as everybody jumps into the portal, you guys feel yourselves kind of, like, extend that, um, your your your being, your your soul is...
02:20:48
Speaker
sent across the multiverse going passing through uh passing over and through planes through the space in between time i wave at dr strange yeah exactly what's up uh hey bro and dr who as well too uh okay it's bigger on the inside hibbert just waving at all the doctors why are there so many doctors So, uh, as you guys emerge on the other side of the portal, which is set into the base of a tall cliff face, a blast of hot air washes over you. Uh, embers float through the air, which ripple from the ambient heat, uh, which ripple, sorry, the air, which ripples from the ambient heat. it's So brimstone volcanoes spew lava and sky red with fire. Mark, the definite signals that you're now in hell.
02:21:36
Speaker
The portal remains open behind you as you take in your surroundings. Uh, ah So that's where we're going, Smokey says as he points to a glowing sign off in the distance rising over the horizon. It reads, One Step Beyond, the Greatest Nightclub in Hell, Come See the Madness. One Fuck, if it was madness? No. If it's madness, that's dope.
02:21:58
Speaker
Oh, madness. It might be one of their later incarnations. Oh, no. So, as you guys... We in hell, after all. As you guys trek closer to the club... It's the fun boy three. you guys trek across the the open expanse towards the club. As you approach the club, you notice a very long line of fiendish patrons that wraps around the side of the building.
02:22:19
Speaker
I'm picturing this as like the Scott Titty Twister. Scott Twitty? What are you talking about? From Dust Till Dawn. From Dust Till Dawn when they show up at the... we got the... All the kinds of pussy. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.
02:22:35
Speaker
I like that they're all patrons. I imagine it's our patrons. Yeah, yeah, definitely. The second pass patrons. Yeah, obviously all fiendish, though. They're like... They are fiendish. They are fiendish. They all look like the power-up...
02:22:49
Speaker
Cover album album cover guy. yeah So, ah yeah, as you guys walk up, ah you see this long line. Smokey says that he's got to kind of stay out of sight. So he's like, I i got to stay out out of sight. If any of the ah bigger ups see me, though I'll get in a lot of trouble. So ah you guys got to get in somehow, though. You can either go through the front or the back.
02:23:10
Speaker
And as you guys ah note, the front is guarded by a large bouncer. It is a big devilish dude. He's ah bearded devils. And he has basically is a thick corded. A bearded devil? Yeah. You know, I didn't want to cut in and say he said you can either go through the front or the back and you said nothing.
02:23:28
Speaker
Oh, yeah. He can go through the front, back, and the side. There you go. There you Because your new bearded devil. So bearded devil is standing in front guarding the door. has like this thick corded beard that like flicks and moves on its own of core on its of its own accord.
02:23:50
Speaker
ah And Smokey indicates that, yeah, if you can of go around back, there's like a window that's high up that you guys will have to unlock and sneak into. um Well, I could disguise or I could, i have like a disguise kit in my toolkit. I have uh, disguise self, um, spell.
02:24:09
Speaker
yeah. As well as invisibility. I'm pretty good at swinging my sword. Well, I think that's probably the best way about it. I could just make myself into a fiendish amp.
02:24:22
Speaker
Whoa, you could. And then smooth talk him to let us in. Yeah. I'm going to do that. I'm going to decide myself. Yes. Okay, so are you guys, what are, why they and Larjo, are you guys doing anything specific? Are you just going to basically stand on? I have the kit I can give them. I have a disguise kit as well. So I shall disguise myself. Here, take this disguise kit.
02:24:48
Speaker
He's taking it. love this. My name is Clocks. That's my nickname. What did I call you? You called me Clocks. I just like that. I just... Oh, i do have I do have a disguise kit. I didn't even know that I called you Koks. I love that that's my nickname. So if you guys want to try and disguise yourself, i need to know how you're disguising yourself.
02:25:06
Speaker
I'm going to dress myself up like a Psycho Billy guy. Okay. I feel like that's the kind of person who would go to this place. I guess I'm asking, would you guys try and make yourself look like natives of hell? Are you going to like, paste like horns on your forehead? yeah I am going to look like I... billy I'm just going to go like I normally look, but like a fiend.
02:25:27
Speaker
I want to i want look like i work there. Since I'm like a clockwork thing, I want to look like I'm some kind of like... ah okay all Like when R2-D2 had all that shit on him when in the Jabba's large?
02:25:38
Speaker
Yeah. Okay, so disguise self. You could just be like a boulder. A boulder? yeah Like a hell boulder. make sure Make sure that you're spending your spell slot to cast Disguise Self there, Xena. And you're going to make yourself look like one of the imps that you guys kind of like fought or whatever.
02:25:56
Speaker
I'm guessing. Maybe not exactly like him, but of an imp. You're going to look like an imp. Like a better looking one. Yes. Well, just some that I feel like is the best guy to blend in. Yeah, I'm going to be sexier. Like one with like huge tits.
02:26:10
Speaker
Goliath tits. Yeah. All right, All right. Let's. OK, so you guys approach as a group. OK, so as you walk up, ah you're kind of like going past the line. You guys are walking past this line and like a bunch of people line are like, what the heck? You know, like you guys getting kind of dirty looks from people in line.
02:26:31
Speaker
and as you walk i walk up, the bouncer immediately puts his hand out and he's like, ah I'm sorry, everybody. You're going to have to stop right there. um do you have a do you have a reason to be jumping the line here, people?
02:26:47
Speaker
I'm here to rip tickets. I'm the new guy. it's Are you you saying that? Yes. Why they? Give me deception check, please. Okay. Okay. 13. Yeah, I guess that's all I Is there anything you're doing?
02:26:57
Speaker
yeah I don't think I can do. I thought I could like do something, but I can't really do anything. Yeah. Other than I could like distract them if we need to. I'll try to.
02:27:09
Speaker
So what did he say? He asked me why we why we're here. Why we're skipping the line, yeah. Why we're skipping the line. I'm here to rip tickets. um Okay, so I bring out my guitar because we're here to see a band, right?
02:27:20
Speaker
Yeah, we're here to see it does c slash like save loon. You're here to save somebody, but I mean, like, why do you want a backup musician. They asked me to come in. ah I wasn't told any backup musicians were going
Nightclub Exploration and Rescue Plan
02:27:34
Speaker
to be showing up. It was last minute, man. What do you want me to do?
02:27:40
Speaker
I might have to authorize that with somebody else. With man? work your doom, I've never seen you before. Yes, you have. You look pretty new to me. is that a deception? Yeah, so deception check there, Xena.
02:27:55
Speaker
13 as well, too. Plus three. Or does it automatically do It should automatically add all of your stuff. Yeah, so that's a 13. Okay, you know what i'm going to do really quickly? I'm going to roll something. Marjo, noticed that you don't have queued up.
02:28:08
Speaker
I'm just kind of hanging out. I'm just looking like I belong here. I'm just going to see what he says you Shouldn't he roll to look like he belongs there? No. If he's not saying anything, we'll just leave him. Leave him as the... So this large-bearded devil, he looks at you and you says, well, I mean, it's not the first time that I've not been informed that we've got a new person showing up.
02:28:32
Speaker
Leave it to the higher-ups to... That's I've been saying. They've got to get it organized. I'm of this. Leave it to you know the higher-ups to not let the person who should know that new people are coming in, that nobody's coming in. I'm pissed on your behalf, man. I can't believe they didn't tell you.
02:28:48
Speaker
Yeah, you know, it's a real big pain in the butt. but Dude, I'm going to bring it up. I'm going to bring it up to Upward. Would Would you do that for course, man. What's your name? Devlin. The name's Devlin. Devlin. Devlona. Devlin.
02:29:01
Speaker
Devlin. Smoky. I'm Devlona. It's nice to meet you. Good to meet you, Devlona. Thank you so much. Welcome to the yeah One Step Beyond staff. Everybody can just head on there. Thank you so much. Thank so much. He sets aside and opens up the door, and you guys are free to walk in. And I just give him the head tilt. like ah like You know just walk on in. And you hear a bunch of people like, hey, how come they were able to jump the line? It's like the door closes.
02:29:31
Speaker
And you guys are now inside of the club. The club. The club. you enter what is a busy nightclub. There's a stage ah kind of like directly ahead of you with a dance floor full of gyrating fiends. yeah I start gyrating. Basically, directly behind you is the entrance. And right beside that is my kind of par the bar.
02:29:55
Speaker
place is hot yeah On the far side of the room, you see ah a lounge area with several VIP booths near a stage. That's where I belong. stage and I love your healthy confidence. Why are they so confident? so There are a couple of what appear to be restrooms at the far back of the the the space.
02:30:17
Speaker
ah Two doors labeled. ah Yeah, one one two doors for the bathrooms. One reads demons and the other devils. The third one should say orcs. yeah The place is the super band name busy and full of patrons, and the staff is a mix of mephits, lesser devils, and the souls of those that have been reaped by Augie.
02:30:36
Speaker
Whoa. Just souls? Yeah. they're Just like hovering souls, kind of like ghostly-looking apparitions moving around the place. On the stage across from you performing is Loon. They look emaciated from the last time you saw them, their eyes sunken and surrounded by dark circles. They lazily play with their theremin to a backing track that pumps through the house speakers. Can ascribe a message to Lou?
02:30:58
Speaker
Yeah, for sure. On their theremin? So the way you can do it, where how the how does that work again there? mr aing Is she doing a good job? I can roll a performance check for her. Yeah, I would love it. Okay. She's going to do it at a disadvantage.
02:31:14
Speaker
yeah So you can cast the messages up to 30 feet away, surface that can see up to 30 feet away. So you can get up to the stage about 30 feet, and then you could write a message somewhere on the stage for them wanted. Yeah, maybe just like...
02:31:27
Speaker
on the stage in front of her. for sure, if you want. so And you use her guitar to do that? So you're watching her play and then you just take her guitar on your floor. I'm pretending to be one of those guys that plays air guitar along with like a cover band, so I'm actually turned oh like to the audience, leaned against the stage, and I'm just like closing my eyes and like air guitaring like to the song. But with an actual guitar. Yeah.
02:31:54
Speaker
And everybody knows this is a normal occurrence because they're all regular patrons of this bar and that happens all the time. yeah So Loon ah got a 12 on their performance check. They have a pretty good performance bonus, but they're rolling with disadvantage. there not It's not their best performance for sure. You've heard you've you've heard and seen like live performances that are like, they're all on their game and this is they're not on their game. Can I go to the VIP section?
02:32:20
Speaker
Do you want to walk over immediately to the VIP section? I immediately, yes. This is where I belong. I am VIP. Larjo and Zena, what did you what would you guys like to do? Well, that's I'm writing the message. yeah, you go up and write the message on stage, Larjo. Yeah, but what's the message? I'm going to go and kind of a weed need spot for Zena and scope out.
02:32:44
Speaker
Okay. Scope out the stage. We'll do Larjo and Zena first. While my eyes are closed. We'll take care of Larjo and Xena first as you walk up and you're kind of like getting close enough kind of whip your guitar around and start playing along. And what would you like to write for Loon?
02:33:02
Speaker
Help is on the way. Okay, five. How many words do i have? ah Three plus seven. i I believe you have ten. um what do we like What are you dressed up as? yeah A fiend.
02:33:15
Speaker
Help is on the way. Looking good toots. Up to six words, and then you're bard, so you get an extra up to seven. So 13 total. Look for the weird fiends. Look for the weird fiends. You got three more. um Purple monkey dishwasher.
02:33:30
Speaker
No. um Big tit one. Look for the weird feeds. Big tit one.
02:33:40
Speaker
Oxford comma. So kind of loon, lazily. we we with the theremin kind of looks down and sees this kind like message start to like hear for them like very confused look as they scan the room i mean i'm not gonna lie i got that message within seconds i'd be just like but what Which one? Yeah, what? Huh? You guys didn't know. see Big titty weird fiends. Where's the weird looking big titty weird fiends? I'm being weird. Are you being weird? is it the Is it the fiend that's weird or the titties that are weird? Oh. oh Yeah.
02:34:28
Speaker
The fiend titties. ah So. They're vertical. One on top of the other. They're diagonal.
02:34:37
Speaker
That one. That's the one. That's the one. Those are weird. That is What was my full message? Help is on the way. Help is on the way. Look for the weird fiend big tit one.
02:34:54
Speaker
perfect so
02:35:00
Speaker
as as you lay this down are you doing anything else now after this are you moving away from stage you're staying there waiting trying to catch yeah i'm i'm making a eye contact like i'm just trying to be like i go like wingkkinging why waitking so i know my booze i go like Are you making another arrow? Boobs with an arrow. ah Okay, I would like you to roll per perception our persuasion with advantage. Either one of you can do it.
02:35:33
Speaker
uh so i probably i'm guessing zina's gonna wanna who's gonna wanna roll those yeah uh so in this instance uh a 10 persuasion you're ah looking around to try and like catch uh loon's eyes and they're not they're kind of like kind of missing you every single time like You're even doing that do-do-do-do-do-do with your... Bazzangas. Bouncing the bazanga around. And they're not quite catching it because they're just like... They're just not catching it.
02:36:00
Speaker
We're big enough. That's the problem. We're big enough. Did you tell them the big dick ones? Can I cast... Press a digitation on my boobs? Actually, wait. You know what? What I'll say is... I'd like make them like sparkle.
02:36:12
Speaker
I think. Also, I order bottle service.
02:36:16
Speaker
Loon actually, I think, as a commoner, would probably have a passive perception of 10, so they would probably actually notice you. just You just barely made it. Loon's like, oh, this is a dance.
02:36:31
Speaker
Why they? You walk into – so you have to walk through kind of lounge area that's full of tables. And as you're kind of going through that, you're having to duck through large pit fiends who are like these enormous devils. have to duck? I'm pretty small. Yeah, exactly. You're just zipping through them pretty easily actually probably. Yeah.
02:36:50
Speaker
ah But yeah, just this area full of like basically other fiends and devils that are lounging in this area. And as you get through to the VIP area, um i guess I'll note one thing. You notice in the lounge area that there's a large collection of, as you approach the collection tales, you see a bit of a crowd has gathered in one area off to the side away from the VIP area. You see two draconic abishai, which are like devilish kind of draconic creatures standing on either side of a table with some dice that are they're kind of like throwing back and forth.
02:37:18
Speaker
Other than that, though, as you walk up to the VIP area specifically, it's guarded by two imps who are basically like kind of like standing there at the front where there would be like kind of a velvet rope and they stop you immediately like, I'm sorry, who do you think you are?
02:37:33
Speaker
ah am i still in disguise? You are. yeah You guys didn't take off your disguises, right? So you would still look like an automaton there to work as a ticket-ripping machine.
02:37:47
Speaker
Yeah, i'm I'm here to take their drink orders. um You don't look like one of the usual servers. I'm going to make you deception with disadvantage. Disadvantage? Yes. You're dressed as a ticket machine, and these guys are particularly skeptical. You do have to consider how confident he is. i think that gives him a plus two or something.
02:38:13
Speaker
Fine. Well, roll determines his confidence. Yes. So, okay, let me try this again. Knowing what we know now, let me try this again. I'm here to rep tickets. I mean, I'm here to take drink orders.
02:38:27
Speaker
So why they rolled a five their deception check? The two imps immediately are like, I don't think so, buddy. Get out of here. Okay, I'm going to go roll dice with these other guys. I'm afraid you're going to have to get out of here. No, no, no. Not even. Not a chance. Not a devil's chance in hell.
02:38:45
Speaker
I will be a VIP one day. belong there. Not a snowman's chance in I'm going to go roll dice with those other guys. Okay, so you move off to the corner where those guys are rolling dice.
02:38:58
Speaker
Xena and Larjo, are you doing anything else? There's the bar, there's the ah i bar bathrooms, and lounge area, and the stage. Sick, go to the bathroom.
02:39:11
Speaker
Yeah, I'm going to go to the bathroom. Sick. the um like What can Loon see from the stage? ah Pretty much most of the common areas, which would be like the stage, lounge area, and bar. is but towards the wash like Is the establishment laid out so that the bathrooms are like near where like the entrance to the back area is yeah i would say ish they're towards the back the venue or is it like right up against the the stage like at wonder bar just for like a loose layout right you guys would have come in the front in the entrance we have the stage at the back of the room here we have the bar we have the lounge area and then like bathrooms probably okay i'm gonna gonna to the bathroom area
02:39:54
Speaker
and and quote unquote go to the washroom and give people soap and spray cologne on them unwashed you like to go you want to be a bathroom barista yeah yeah that was a joke i'm actually gonna go to the washroom but then i'm going to like wait for an opportunity to try and scoot into the back room uh so how how so do you mean like Well, I want to go to the washroom, and then I want to wait until there isn't anybody around, really. yeah
02:40:26
Speaker
And then maybe try and, like, get a peek into the back room and see what's going on. Okay. ah You wouldn't be able to see if there ah actually is, like, any sort of a back room. Okay. Are you trying to like, I guess my my question is, are you trying to like access the stage in any way, see shape or form? More of the backstage, like green room kind of get that office green room situation. you wouldn You wouldn't know where that's located oh specifically. And it doesn't look like there is any obvious place where that would be. Okay, in that case, I'm going to the bar, baby. Okay, going to the bar. Okay.
02:40:54
Speaker
Well, okay, let's really quickly, Zena, what do you is there anything you to Well... Come to the bar. Grab a drink. god We've got... are they playing dice? bar He's going to the bar. I thought I was just about to maybe you do something kind of crazy.
02:41:06
Speaker
What do you want to do I don't know. Is it at the bar? Do you want to try and get on stage? This could be a good cliffhanger because maybe this is where we break the episode. Okay. So with that, Xena, you're going try and go on stage. Okay. So as you guys kind of break off in three different directions, we will take a break here and we can get some drinks and stuff. I have a plan. So I want to send a message to you.
02:41:26
Speaker
Rudy? Yeah. Rudy. yeah To say like... meet loon in bathroom or meet on side stage. I apologize. I should describe something a little bit more for the VIP area. apologize, actually. Sitting alone in the VIP.
02:41:41
Speaker
The area is protected by a couple of them to guard a velvet rope. You can easily see into the lounge area. ah Augie is the primary VIP occupant who has a gathering of sycophantic tieflings lounging around them. So you guys know that Augie, the devil that you guys fought way back when, it is he's right there.
02:41:57
Speaker
but That motherfucker's right there. That changes things. yeah and i still want to play dice, but yeah it only changes things a little bit. I still need to get fortified by a drink. Yeah, he's in the lounge. He's in the VIP area. you It might not be a great idea to get up on stage quite yet. Or maybe. you can see him Who knows? It'll probably be a fun idea to get up on stage. yeah'll Yeah, get up on stage. Okay.
02:42:14
Speaker
right All right. Take a break. Thanks for listening to Checkered Past. Hit us up on Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, and TikTok at Checkered Past Pod or send us an email at Checkered Past Pod at gmail.com. To support the pod and get bonus content including a full-length and unedited audio of this episode and all Skodventures Guild episodes, sign up for the Checkerhead Patreon at patreon.com slash Checkered Past.
02:42:35
Speaker
We also have merch available at checkeredpast.ca. Tell them about the merch, Joey. Yum, yum, more Skod, baby. You can get a hoodie. You can get a not hoodie. Or no, you can get Different kind of hoodie. Sorry, that's what I'm trying to say. A zip-up hoodie. Or a non-zipping hoodie.
02:42:50
Speaker
And it's got Rob's big old head eating ska. And we're playing SPI Fest. We are playing SPI Fest. We are kicking off the festival May 17th, Friday. You can get your tickets at spifest.org. And it's in Connecticut this year. Yeah, we're going to New England.
02:43:09
Speaker
Check Past is edited by Cutman, engineered by Joey. Our Scott Associate producer is Chris Reeves. And our Dungeon Master and theme song producer for this episode is Keelan.
02:43:20
Speaker
Until next time, I'm Rob. I'm Dewey. And the immortal words of Zena Stefani, help is on the way. Look for the Weird Fiends, Big Tit One.
02:43:40
Speaker
On this episode, the trilogy concludes. It's our final Dungeons & Dragons real play of the Skodventures Guild with Larjo Hotstepper, Wydey Cloxard, and Xena Stefani. Will they save their hero?
02:43:52
Speaker
Will they defeat the nefarious devil? Will Wydey finally get famous? All that and more on Checkered Past, the Skodcast.
02:44:11
Speaker
you
02:44:38
Speaker
What up, Checkerheads? Welcome to Checkered Pass, this podcast with Celine and Rob. The show where Tia Matamoska and... Oh wait, how did I do this? Okay. And the music you know plays Demo Gorgon. Oh man, this is hard to do.
02:44:53
Speaker
And the music you know plays Demo Gorgon and on and on. Explore the history and impact of a different band each episode and hope to bring in new fans along the way. I'm Rob and I really tried that. I tried really hard for that one.
02:45:04
Speaker
And this is my co-host with the most toast, Engineer Joey. I appreciated it. I was pulling for you the whole time. was really, I just like put, I just, it's a lot of words, that song. And then I put more words into it. Yep.
02:45:16
Speaker
Added oh would two more syllables. Makes it more difficult for sure. It just makes it more difficult. That's what happened. Hey, Joey, how are you doing? Good. How are you? Are you excited for more D&D?
02:45:27
Speaker
I'm always excited for more D&D, actually. i do you want to tell the listener what this is all about? because Since they're coming in at the very end. Yeah, don't come in at the end. Go to session zero, episode one.
02:45:39
Speaker
Yes. part Part zero, episode one. And listen to us make characters for a D&D campaign in a Ska realm.
02:45:52
Speaker
Yeah, we had a lot of fun. We spread it over a couple of days. Keelan, our maestro of our theme songs, The Variants, also a stellar dungeon master and DM'd a fantastic game of...
02:46:08
Speaker
i riddled with all kinds of ska easter eggs and filled with the ska universe takes place in the kind of kind of i mean and that meant nothing yeah no it's it's a fantasy world yeah I mean, I hope you know already. Yeah. To be honest, this would be really weird to jump into at this point. you can't take You can't take anything for granted. This could be the very first episode, people coming in and just... But I would say, please go listen to the other two episodes or else going to be highly confused. Maybe there's someone out there who just hates the first like half of a D&D campaign yeah and only cares about the second half. Oh, that's fun. Have you ever come in halfway through a D&D campaign? No.
02:46:52
Speaker
um No, like I've jumped into an ongoing campaign, right but I don't know if it was like arc wise kind of right in the middle. You know what I mean? It was just kind of in a campaign that was already on the go.
02:47:09
Speaker
Generally, I find you can pick it up pretty quickly. Yeah, where you left off. but Yeah, I generally pick it up where we left off. ah So this will conclude the story. We only did this as a one-shotter. This isn't something that we're going to continue to do because we it's a of work. Well, going to continue to play D&D. We'll continue to play D&D. We won't record it for the episode. is um it's it's ah It's an awful lot of work to put these together, but hopefully you enjoyed it because you know we've been trying to do different things here and there with the podcast and This is already an established working idea. Yeah. So we stole it. So we stole it.
02:47:41
Speaker
but And that's how these things work. That's how if you that's my advice to you. If you want to start your own podcast. Get a good idea from another podcast and just steal it. Yeah. Straight up.
02:47:52
Speaker
Yeah. I hate to say it, but your favorite podcasts are just stealing ideas from other podcasts. Which are probably just stealing ideas from radio shows. And at the end of the day, you know, like if you're a big fan of the Joe Rogan experience, um you know, i I'm sorry, but it's going to be all the power to you.
02:48:07
Speaker
ah He's just ripping off Ricky Gervais. I mean, at the end of the day, he's just doing Ricky Gervais' podcast. Like... Does Ricky Gervais like smoke a bunch of weed and talk out his ass for the whole podcast? that what it is? maybe just the latter part.
02:48:20
Speaker
Okay. But he was like, he did like the first podcast. He was like the first big one. That's wild. Isn't that crazy to think about? Back when and was they got called podcasts because you could only listen on your stupid pod.
02:48:31
Speaker
That's right If you didn't have a pod, you're SOL. That's right. Podcasts. Now they're barely even a podcast. Now they're just like phone cast. It's just a cast. Yeah. that Why we just call casts? Scott cast. Scott cast.
02:48:42
Speaker
yeah They should all just be called Skodcasts. They should all be called whatever their thing is. Decast. Decast. Decast. Yeah. And if you're not, if it doesn't rhyme with pod, then you're SOL. True crime decast.
02:48:54
Speaker
I like it, Joey. um I think that's about it. Like, that's, ah this is going to, we're coming in on the action. ah So when what to expect on this episode? um Yeah, this is the conclusion. Is this the one where we try and go to the bathroom several times? Yeah. So there's, there is bathroom shenanigans. Okay.
02:49:11
Speaker
um there's a lot of trying to write messages um yes i my character why they clocks are uh plays a game of chance and loses his hat ah sweet that was a fun that is that's a fun thing that happens and uh there's more the band plays more yeah which is great three orcs down that's our band which is really funny yeah we had some bits the bits are pretty decent yeah So anyway, let's Terry no further. Enjoy again the Scott Ventures Guild Part 2.
02:49:45
Speaker
two So what we can do is actually just do a quick recap here. So basically you guys were in a going to see a show at Hooligans when all of a sudden a large devilish figure appeared with some impish minions they attacked.
02:50:00
Speaker
You guys um saw the devilish figure fly towards the stage and zapped away the celebrity, the headliner that you guys were there to see, Loon, ah seemingly away to hell.
02:50:14
Speaker
ah You guys finished off the imps in the club and were able to give a performance right afterwards that everybody was super into. You guys have just saved all their lives and you crushed performance the newly minted three orcs down. Yeah.
02:50:29
Speaker
So, yeah, several months went by without much happening besides you guys kind of establishing yourself as a band. You guys, ah after a show, met a smoke method named Smokey who helped. I smoked him. Yeah.
02:50:44
Speaker
Helped. Method man. Method man. Yeah. Helped ah you guys welcome me yeah how did you guys get to get to hell. Basically, you arrived at a location where there was a small urn puzzle ah by playing a basically finishing the scale, C scale. You were able to open a portal to hell. You guys got to hell.
02:51:05
Speaker
and made a short trek across an open land to the nightclub one step beyond and are have snuck into the club and are currently kind of like feeling things out you have made contact with loon ah via your instrument of scribing xena and currently you ah we're goingnna ah Sorry, of you guys noticed that Augie was also in the VIP area, but we're going to also be cutting now to why they playing some dice, Larjo going to the bar, and Xena. Sorry, of what were you doing again? She's got a crazy idea. because Well, it changes because... You wanted to try and get on stage, which I think... Yes, but it changes because you said the guy that we're looking for. with Yeah, he's also Augie. Cirker Kellum August Stuth is the devil's name. here's what I was maybe thinking of doing. Really quickly. His initials are S-K-A.
02:51:53
Speaker
scar ah picked up on that and i are not um ah like distracting him something pressed to digitation and going on stage and real quick four Real quick, because this is a continuation of our previous episode, we should introduce our characters. yeah yeah so So, yes, we will – so basically, why they? i You can give yourself – you can re-describe your character. I'm ah i'm why they clocksard. am a – I'm a clockwork gnome, a sorcerer, and i play drums in the band.
02:52:34
Speaker
i'm ah I'm a VIP in my mind, and i want to be the VIP. Yeah. uh and yeah i have my magical drumsticks that i use to cast my spells uh my drum kit is attached to my body uh and part of a clockwork ah mechanism where all my parts come out uh i'm also ah steam powered with pistons and that's what fuels my ah magical abilities um um Yeah. And you also, you are a sorcerer here on Dominus, and you wield the power of the two-tones.
02:53:07
Speaker
The power of the two-tones. The power of the two-tones. That a magical force that ah pervades all of the magic users of the world. so Xena? Xena? You are a bard. Is Goliath Bard also wielding the power of the two tones? Yes, a Goliath Bard. What's her name? have the Xena Stefani. I have the body of zena and the face of Gwen Stefani.
02:53:27
Speaker
um I have half black and half blonde hair. and I have two personalities. We've established that you have multiple personalities. Yeah, so my darker side talks like Xena, like this, and is altruistic, and my blonde side talks like this, and is, I guess, very horny.
02:53:48
Speaker
It's obviously just ah Samantha from Sex the City. Classic bard stuff. Yeah. And you are the guitar player. And I'm the guitar player, lead singer, and I'm like kind of roguey, sneaky, giant, sexy lady.
02:54:04
Speaker
A Goliath. Goliath. Yes. Larjo? I'm Larjo Hotstepper. I'm a halfling barbarian, and I play keys, and I smash things with my great sword.
02:54:17
Speaker
When you rage, you you turn into animal forms. Aye, aye, aye. aye, aye. Turn into a big monkey man. yeah So with that, we pick up basically with three of you splitting off into your own kind of like separate little missions that you've made for yourselves here.
02:54:33
Speaker
um We'll start with Larjo going to the bar. i think I'll have myself a beer. So you walk up and you see the bar. Sorry, that got me. Woo-hoo-hoo!
02:54:48
Speaker
Well done. The bartender is the soul of a human woman. a badge on her vest proclaims her name to be Veronica. Looking down, the bar it is crowded with small, clamoring fiends who are served sloshing cups of full full of viscous red liquid. o Blood wine.
02:55:04
Speaker
Blood wine? You notice the backsplash of the bar is adorned with nothing but barrels of blood wine. Resting on top of one of these barrels is a fishbowl, goldfish floating lazily around small castle in a pile of sand.
02:55:16
Speaker
Bartender turns to you. What do you want? ah Something vegan. We've got blood wine, blood wine, and more blood wine. Yeah. ah Where do you procure your blood?
02:55:31
Speaker
Well, it's not going to be very vegan. Why are you being this Why are you being like this? Well, I'm a halfling, so I want to drink it. But it's also blood, so I don't want to drink it. That's why I learned about it is if iss it.
02:55:46
Speaker
Like blood pudding type blood, or is it like people blood? It's the kind that comes out of creatures, as she looks over. Back to you, kind of like a bit annoyed. Oh, creatures. hey ah Well, shot glasses? Do you have small glasses?
02:56:04
Speaker
Yeah, I can and can get a tiny one for you. I would like a halfling shot of... It's like half by half. You're in disguise also. ah But I'm still on like a halfling. I'm just a fiendy halfling. Okay, tiny shot for the tiny fiend. She like pulls out a cup and pours you little thing of this red crimson red liquid that she pushes across the bar. Constitution, don't kill me now. As you take a drink, i need you to make a constitution saving and throw. Of course.
02:56:31
Speaker
i you I knew what I was doing. I'm playing my character. man. I believe you have proficiency. I sure do. I have like a plus five. You rolled a nine, which is a failure. You are now poisoned for the next hour.
02:56:47
Speaker
Every time. If only it was me. Stop doing it. You know? That's what my character would do. That's what my character would do. You don't have to do it.
02:56:59
Speaker
He had to. Larjo had to. Okay, you are now poisoned. I'm going to mark that. Poison. Basically, yes, poisoned condition means you will have disadvantage on ability checks and attack rolls. That sucks.
02:57:16
Speaker
And that is going to be for the next hour. ah That sucks. Unless you have a way to alleviate the poisoned condition, that's going to be... Perhaps one of my compatriots. Yeah, i keep in mind, I think one of you might have the ability to get rid of that. Oh, Rob's... I'm not there, and I'm doing other things. I'm not sure this is happening.
02:57:34
Speaker
ah Yeah, so you basically take the shot, and you down it, and immediately just burning, and you just feel this heat wash up through your esophagus, up into your brain, and you're just like head swimming immediately.
02:57:48
Speaker
ah Do I at least have a solid buzz on? Oh, yeah, absolutely. It's more than a buzz at this point. It's instant rock and roll, I suppose. Immediate, harsh.
02:57:59
Speaker
Okay, Xena. I don't really know how i'm going to do this Strange brew. Actually, you know what? Sorry, we'll get back to you. We're going to do Why'd They first. Why'd They? So you walk up to the ah the devils that are playing...
02:58:14
Speaker
dice um they kind of regard you as you walk up the tables are uh standing tables yeah so my like my eyes just yeah you're literally like yeah you're like the top half of your face is basically poking up what's going on here yeah game of chance and both of them kind of look down at i'm gonna like do a thing with like my legs where i like you know, like pump them up like Jack.
02:58:38
Speaker
Yeah. You get like a little bit of height with that. It's basically like ah putting on high heels for you. It's like you're wearing, yeah, lift like lifts. Yeah. tick tick tick As you go up and like Donald Trump, your chin is not just puting poking up over the table now.
02:58:51
Speaker
um And the two Abishai, which are like both sides. Yeah. hydrogen yeah Yeah. These draconic fiends. They both look down and you regard you. ah One is kind of like a white. Oh, both of them are white Abishai. They're bone white.
02:59:04
Speaker
It's like, oh, who are you, little one? I'm the ticket ripper. I'm on break. no The machine has gone rogue. The machine has gone sorcerer.
02:59:15
Speaker
the um Can either of you get into the VIP section? Oh, no, we don't have that kind of status. Who around here does?
02:59:26
Speaker
Well, only a few people. I mean, the imps, the guards, and Augie over there. He owns the place. Is there anyone who is not in the VIP section that can get in there? Well, probably some of the staff.
02:59:38
Speaker
um I'm staff. Well, probably should have let you in. It looks like they turned you away. i think I did that to my myself. I need to find more staff.
02:59:51
Speaker
he yeah i'll tell I'll tell you what. Why don't you chill here for a little bit and maybe join us for a game? Mmm, Game of Chance. i like Games of Chance. number one. you got an You got anything you can maybe ah throw in to make things spicy?
03:00:06
Speaker
What do I have? That's a good question. Looking at character sheets. If you were real, you'd be like so difficult to do it. Abishai, basically one of them pulls out, he's like, I'm Drokad, as he like pulls out a small, um ah actually a rather large diamond.
03:00:27
Speaker
That's like, you know, multifaceted, glimmering in the light or whatever that he pulls out. And you's he puts it down on the table to bet that. The other, Abishai, I am Drokid, as he pulls out a a cube. It looks like this puzzle box. It's it's a more embellished Rubik's Cube of some sort of some sort that he puts down on the table and pushes that forward.
03:00:49
Speaker
I put my ah rat hat on the table. Okay, yeah, you heard of hat of the add of vermin. ah So, yes, Wydday has a hat that they can pull rats and... reminds me of the hat from what we do in the shadows.
03:01:02
Speaker
Yeah, and and the witch's hat. ah The hat also, whenever he pulls a rat out, it's not friendly to him. It's just a regular old rat. Yeah. That's the funniest part of that thing. but so yeah That's why it's really good for what we're about to do. Yeah, and one of the abyshe looks and says... why would we want a ratty old hat like that? Hmm. Cause of the rats.
03:01:24
Speaker
And they're like, huh? And as you like lift it up, the rat squeals out. Yeah. I can do that a lot. Oh, okay. I lift it up again and a hamster comes out. Yeah, exactly. I can't do the rat squeaker.
03:01:34
Speaker
Invisalign it and I can't do a rat squeaker right now. So anyway, um with that. Okay, so they produce three D6 each. And one of them says it's a game game of chance, a game of scores. they're gonna propose One of them proposes that the winner is going to be the one with the middle score.
03:01:54
Speaker
Oh, okay. want to score the lowest score? You don't want to have the highest and you don't have the lowest. I want to be in the middle. So what you guys are going to do, is you're going to roll a d6 three times and total them up. Okay. And you guys are not going to look at your totals that you have for for each other.
03:02:10
Speaker
ah What you can do is you're going to roll as as as wide as you can roll an insight to know the highest or lowest number that each of the fiends has rolled. Okay. Okay.
03:02:21
Speaker
And additionally, you can make a sleight of hand check to try and change one of the numbers on your dice. Can I use mage hand? ah Yeah. how did you How would you want to use mage hand? To roll one of their dice. ah To change the number on one of their dice? Yeah.
03:02:34
Speaker
Okay. Yeah. we'll we'll see We'll see what we can do there, baby. Yeah. yeah We'll see we can do about that. Okay. For sure. That was where my head was at. So start by rolling your 3d6, and I'm going to roll for each other. I need to get my little dice thingy out here. 3.
03:02:47
Speaker
rolled... i rolled a five a two plus one plus two okay a two and a one and a two okay so seems low um well yes that does seem rather low feel like i'm not in the middle unless somebody rolls three ones okay so uh you can let's do an insight check okay i can do that my gut is telling me that my unwise self is not going to be happy but i do have proficiency And it's 17. I'm not mad about that. Nice. That is a success. So would you like to know... Okay, so for the first one for Drokid, would you like to know the highest or the lowest?
03:03:24
Speaker
Lowest. So they rolled 2. They have a 2 on one of the dice. Oh, okay. That's... Drokid is one of their names. Yes. Drokid and... Drokid and Drokad. Oh. One's a CAD. Yeah, so kid or CAD. So kid has a two on one of the dice.
03:03:39
Speaker
Yeah, maybe I want to re-roll one of my dice. Actually, i want to re-roll And then CAD, would you like to know the highest or lowest on CAD? Oh, highest. I should have said highest the first time. Yeah. If you want to do highest on... Yeah, want to know highest on... So yeah, both of them has a six one the dice. Yeah, I figured that I was low and I should be higher than them.
03:03:54
Speaker
Yeah. uh yeah i should i should re-roll my dice that actually makes a lot more sense in this case okay so give me a uh slate of hands look over there that's me distracting them while i try to flip a dice i got a little bit of proficiency here not much but a look a little bit 17 yeah that is a success you can set one of your dice to whatever you would like it to be oh six to a six okay so yeah i want i want to match yeah for sure so that is going to mean that you will have a i will have 10 now because i'm re i'm changing my one for sure oh okay so yeah you have six a two and a two
03:04:32
Speaker
Okay, so as the all of you reveal your dice, your totals, ah you you got so freaking close, man. You got so goddamn close. They had, ah so Drokid has 11.
03:04:47
Speaker
yeah Drokad has 13. So the middle would have been 12. Oh, that's so specific. yeah I was no way to get an exact 12. Like, that's the only I would have won.
03:05:01
Speaker
Yeah, that's so hard. It was very, yeah, that was risky. That was tough. But either way, ah basically with that. Oh, no, my rat hat. Drowkid, yeah. Kind of like, and pulls in the stuff to himself. Unlimited rats.
03:05:17
Speaker
Well, it was good playing with you. Better luck next time. No, next time I have nothing else. Fuck this game. I'm never playing it again.
03:05:28
Speaker
okay I'm a sore loser. Xena. Your ego's really been shot. You're like trying to get in the game and you got denied. Couldn't drum. You like couldn't drum and then yeah you like couldn't.
03:05:43
Speaker
You did not win that game either. Xena. What would you like to do? um i I kind of was hoping that I'd be able to communicate with Joey, but I guess I still can. He's just going to be at like a disadvantage for things because he's poisoned.
03:05:56
Speaker
yeah And only stuff that, like, if you do if you do something towards me, that's fine. that won I won't be disadvantage for that. and And then really quickly, Joey and Selin are also employees? That's how they got in? Or how did they?
03:06:09
Speaker
So ah basically, i seen it or Zena, Zena. I'm more of, like, under a spell of looking like an am. I would say Xena was the one who got you guys in by basically saying that she was part of the backup band, that she was going to be there to to kind of back up Loon.
03:06:23
Speaker
And you guys came in as, you know, like, hey, we're with Xena. I'm also going to go find Xena. So while she's figuring this out, I'm heading in her direction. Okay, gotcha. I'm going to write a message to Joey.
03:06:37
Speaker
Are you playing bass? To who? Who's Joey? To Larjo. Larjo. Here I come. The hot stepper. So on his like glass of blood wine he's holding.
03:06:51
Speaker
glass. Shot glass. And on the bottom of the little shot glass. It's going say Loon to the bathroom. Oh, that's good. I need to go to the bathroom. I feel terrible. And then um so I'm going to cast Prestidigitation, like, I guess, um I'm trying to think of, like, what, something I want to distract Ska.
03:07:11
Speaker
Okay. Devil. And um I'm just trying to think of, like, I was going to, like, maybe, like, barg So what's he doing right now? He's he's ah he's but ah lounging in the VIP area. You can see him talking to all of these tieflings who like, you know, he'll say something. All the tieflings like, ha, ha, ha, ha. You know like laughing sycophantically and then just, you know, like casually sipping on blood wine. Yeah. I'm just going to like create like a small fire behind him. Can I do that? Or sparks?
03:07:39
Speaker
Yeah. Just like a little, like a flash. Yeah. And so, then, and then Yeah, so you kind of like point over and this sp flash kind of like goes off in the corner of the VIP area and all of them kind of like kind of like turn and look over.
03:07:53
Speaker
And jump on stage and I start playing the guitar. So as you go... Or wait. As you go... So Larjo, you saw that message at the bottom of your cup. Yeah. Are you doing anything? Well, yeah, I'm going to start moving. I'm going to turn and start moving towards the stage. I'll say you see Xena kind of like throw that...
03:08:11
Speaker
flash up and then she goes to start jumping on stage and as you do Xena it's like you hit a perfectly invisible plane of glass a some sort of wall of force has been erected around the stage and you cannot jump up your stage still am going to i want to send a message to Loon You can actually really quickly, one of the fiends totally points at you and like, let's jump dancing on the floor. And it's like, ha as you like home face planted into the wall of force to try and get on the stage. It's like laughing at you. How but how many times can you do that anyways?
03:08:44
Speaker
Unlimited I think the message has charges. Yeah, you've done two messages and I think you have three charges. So keep that in mind. Yeah, well, can I I want like the same place I did the last message same three chart got go to bathroom. Oh, you're telling Loon to go. I don't know. We're gonna get her to the bathroom. I see what's going on to the mirror.
03:09:12
Speaker
I don't know. The mirror in the bathroom? The mirror in the bathroom. Yeah. Actually, let's go to the mirror in the bathroom. Yeah. could Take it to the mirror in the bathroom. Okay. Well, I'm going towards the bathroom. Okay. So you start to head towards bathroom. Oh, hot stepper. There's the one drop in that one. So why'd they you walk up and you kind of like see Xena, you know, rubbing her forehead from having face planted into this wall force.
03:09:32
Speaker
But I still am trying to like perform for the imps. Okay, yeah, out in front. Yeah, like I'm still just playing. While Lune is playing? Like I'm trying to like kind of like get them to look at me instead of Lune. Roll a performance check really quickly. yeah How do I feel? This was performance. How do I feel about this ludicrous display?
03:09:51
Speaker
Huh? So how do I feel about this ludicrous display? um bam oh no Bamboozled? Yeah, I feel bamboozled. That was draw rule, not ludicrous. That was bamboozled.
03:10:03
Speaker
yeah A 12. ah Not bad. Not bad. I'm going to say that you're not that you're not pulling the attention of the majority of the room, but just the ones that are immediately kind of around you as you like are playing along to the the music and all of them are just kind of like looking at you, like still dancing.
03:10:22
Speaker
Distracted, they're looking at you, but not the outside of that immediate vicinity. Everybody else is just going about their business. Sure. Not paying you a no mind. I'm going to try to... It's loud, right? This is like we're talking about... So there's music playing. I would say it's loud enough that people are like dancing and stuff like that. But guys can have a conversation if were to like yell at each other. This is like a punk show where I have to like shout in people's ears. I trying to get her to bathroom to talk to her. You have to raise your voice just little bit to be able to like have a conversation. So I'm going to go to...
03:10:52
Speaker
ah My mouth turns into like, like clockworks into like a little funnel. yeah And then I go over to, a little megaphone. Yeah. Little megaphone, uh, to Xena and say, um, Hey, the devil guy is over there.
03:11:06
Speaker
ah we need an employee and they all think you work here. Can you get into the VIP to see him? Yeah. might of in the middle um why are we it's not about me that's the devil guy we're literally here to find him and oh wait no it is all about me rp my character yes um can i do like just sparks to like the far right of the stage
03:11:38
Speaker
Yeah, well what are you were you trying to... Just distract the audience. yeah Look over there. Yeah, sure. what and Again, are you guys trying to get Loon? Yeah, I guess i was trying to get i guess I'm trying to get you and Loon to the bathroom.
03:11:51
Speaker
why? Yeah. Talk to her and figure stuff out. This is what I'm going to say. As you start to feel things out, you realize that that wall of force actually is around the entire stage. That's why she's so amazing. Crapped. This is essentially cage that she's trapped in. Okay, I'm just going to go to the VIP. I'll just try to get in. They are captains. I'll follow you. Okay, I figure out. Okay. When they split up, I'm going to go towards them and see what's going on. Okay, and we're going to go to the... Okay, fine. This isn't working. Do you have anything of value? You could try to win my hat back from those guys.
03:12:27
Speaker
You got a magic item? We all got magic item. I'm not giving up my magic item. feel like crap i drank some Don't drink the blood wine, you guys. it's not does It doesn't make you feel good. I checked my dipstick. I'm still okay. Yeah, and you guys actually, as Larjo is talking to you, you realize Larjo don't look so good. Yeah, I feel pretty fucking terrible. Hey, Larjo, I got you covered.
03:12:45
Speaker
Our voices kind of sound similar. I'm trying to rough it mine up a little bit. One second, got to out what it Is is it aid or is it lesser restoration? It is lesser restoration. Lesser restoration. i cast thee. With that, the poison condition alleviates on you, Larjo. Thank you so much.
03:13:06
Speaker
It feels weird really good, and that stuff is terrible. Don't drink any of it. I wasn't planning on it. I mean, when in hell. You really are a trisexual. You'll try anything once.
03:13:19
Speaker
I'm a hobbit. I get thirsty easy. It's twosies. Sorry, halfling. I'm a halfling. don't want to step on any copyright copyright here. Tolkien estate. Sorry. Highly litigious. So I guess I go with the um clocks and we go to the VIP and I say, hey, I work here.
03:13:37
Speaker
And the two imps, you know, obviously stop you guys before you can enter. And turn they're like, I don't think you do. You don't look familiar in any way, shape or form.
03:13:49
Speaker
What do i do now? I'll just cast charm purse. Can I charm purse into both of them or just one of them? You're going try and charm one of the ah and the imps? Yeah. can i Hold on. ah Do you want me to intimidate them first? No.
03:14:02
Speaker
oh because i can do that Do you want to try and take that? I'm going to step up like in between them and be like, don't you know who she is? Just like point at their chest?
03:14:17
Speaker
She's going to be the next big star that takes over after Loon is done. I'm Xena Stefania and I'm Loon's new backup.
03:14:30
Speaker
Roll intimidation with advantage is the two of you work together. you can help each other. i'm And I'm with them. These are hey get's that ticket rippers. It's the ticket machine again. I'm their ticket ripper. They need one for all their tickets. what is with advantage?
03:14:48
Speaker
Yeah, that's still good. It's 22, though. Oh, with advantage. Yeah, 15 and 22. I thought about seven. I think we might be okay. do Yeah, with that, both of you kind of like stepping up and saying, hey, I'm supposed to be here.
03:15:00
Speaker
ah The imps are just like, well, I don't know, I guess. what do you What do you think? Maybe we should just let them through. I mean, and i don't want to i don't want to get clobbered. But what about the boss? And both of them are kind of like looking back to Augie and the guy's like, well, maybe if they just stay quiet and get into the vi v corner of VIP area, the boss won't won't say anything. And this guy's like, okay, fine.
03:15:22
Speaker
All right, go in, but don't make any don't make any ah anything big about it. And as you guys kind of like let in, get let in past the velvet rope. ah Yeah, that's what I thought. yeah And as we walk out of their range of hearing, I say, ha ha, we're definitely going to make a big deal out of it.
Confrontation with Augie: Freeing Loon
03:15:40
Speaker
All right. So you guys are now kind of like past the velvet rope. There's a few different booths. never see my rat hat again. yeah There's a few different booths in the VIP area. but But how do you feel about being in VIP?
03:15:52
Speaker
I belong here. This is me. Uh, so, uh, uh, table that Augie is at, it's, you know, obviously kind of like one of those kind of round booths and he's in the center with all these like tieflings kind of like surrounding him and stuff like that.
03:16:06
Speaker
Um, did you guys want to go straight up to him? Are you guys going to chill back and watch him? what are you guys doing? How did he react to my sparks? Uh, they seemed surprised. Uh, they looked off. Uh, he probably would have had one of the imps like investigate it really quickly, but once they saw nothing, they would have just let it be.
03:16:23
Speaker
But our disguises are really good, so he didn't recognize us. So what is our, like, goal? What do we want to do with this guy? but we want a free loon. want a free loon. Got a free loon somehow. Yeah.
03:16:35
Speaker
So I'd imagine we either convince him or play music for him or fight him or all of the above. Okay, well, I guess we try to walk up over to the guy to Ska. Okay.
03:16:48
Speaker
Do you want to, yeah are you going to try and convince him first with your charming yeah charm? Yeah, I'll cast charm person on Scott. Whoa. Holy shit. Okay. like immediately. just Yeah. Let's take a. So this is the chain of events. I just got to reiterate.
03:17:03
Speaker
You but both walk up and make this big deal with these guys just pointing and being all intimidating. They're like, fine, go over there and stand in the corner. Immediately you walk up to their boss and cast the spell on him.
03:17:15
Speaker
say They're probably like, oh shit, we're going on break. Fuck this. i gotta to get out of here. so my question to you is, how would you approach how how would you do how would you approach and cast the spell? like What's this look like when you walk up to Augie? I'm just trying to make a friend. like I'm just trying to like say hi.
03:17:38
Speaker
I'm just trying to get in. I'm trying to get in the in crowd. I'm just trying to get it in. I'm trying to like infiltrate the group. Okay, ah get in and ingratiate yourself kind of thing, Interesting, okay.
03:17:49
Speaker
So as you walk up, do you say anything in particular to Augie? You are the most handsome devil i have ever seen. Literally. Okay, as he looks, ah again you're going to cast Charm Person? Yeah.
03:18:06
Speaker
So... we Well, we'll bend the rules a little bit here because Charm Person is actually only, I believe, supposed to affect humanoids. Yeah, only humanoids, it says. And he is a fiend. It does say that, doesn't it? But I'll let you try and cast those. I will let you try and cast Charm Person on Augie.
03:18:23
Speaker
That's nice. ah let's I guess it's in the name. what is What is the saving throw? it Is it a wisdom saving throw? I watched that movie with um Al Pacino, and he was a person.
03:18:35
Speaker
Yeah, right. And he was a devil. There's that show? Wisdom Saving Throw, yeah. That documentary where Al Pacino was the devil? Yeah. Could you... There's 15 that he rolled on his Wisdom Saving Throw, unfortunately. yeah So, yes, you go to cast Charm Person and...
03:18:56
Speaker
It kind of like goes out and kind of like washes over him and he seems to be unaffected, but you did introduce yourself or you did a compliment him. So he's like, yeah, I'll just compliment him.
03:19:08
Speaker
So as he looks up, he's like, oh, well who might you might who might this group of strangers be in front of me at this point? And he kind of like looks over your guys' shoulder at the two imps.
03:19:25
Speaker
I rip a ticket. yeah Like with my machine, I just rip a ticket. We're three orcs down. Okay. Three orcs down? And we're the next new thing.
03:19:37
Speaker
okay. Well... Some are saying we're the new loon. i The new loon. So you're a musical performance. yeah yeah Yes. yeah Well, that's... ah a novelty, I guess, isn't it? a bunch of A bunch of a bunch of humanoids, and a little fleshy pink yeah humanoids. and this one I'm a fiend. Look at me. I look fiendish.
03:20:04
Speaker
i know I think you might see it through your disguise, Larjo. think they're very quaint. i thought they're very They're very good musicians, so I look past their weirdness.
03:20:16
Speaker
ah well What what would it was your purpose of standing in front of me here at this point? time I'm a... entertaining as you can see his emotions to the, uh, all their tieflings that have surrounded him. And they're all just kind of like all quiet, like listening to him talk and this interaction going on.
03:20:30
Speaker
I've just always wanted to perform at this venue.
03:20:35
Speaker
Should we just be like, let Loon go? Like, could we just be honest now that we're here? Get that bum off the stage. Let us get up on there. Oh, well, there is currently... Send her back home. I have i have ah someone who I've currently employed to entertain the entire venue, and they've been doing quite a kind of a good job for the last several months, haven't you, Loon? As he calls over to Loon, and Loon's just like... She looks very ill. This is a C-plus performance of hers. and seen better. Yeah, I feel like the user experience, customer experience of this place could be better if that person got arrested. Can just play Loon cover for him? Go ahead. Give me performance. Better than Loon can play I hope we'll see.
03:21:18
Speaker
The roll will decide if I'm doing it better than Loon, right, Keelan? Slow your roll. the dice The dice will do the talking. i haven't It's pretty spot on. I mean, probably even even with some more embellishments, ah you you totally kind of like make it your own.
03:21:34
Speaker
Zeno Stefani's... Playing the guitar behind her back. Yeah. Playing with her teeth. The version of a loon hit. ah So... um Augie just kind of looks back at you and says, oh, that's very good, but I prefer to have the real thing, to be perfectly honest, and I don't think there's any need for any new performance here. you all could just maybe turn around and head back the way you came, that would be great.
03:21:55
Speaker
Guards, we have ah some interlopers in the VIP section. No, he belongs here, I point at him. This is where I belong. I have a VIP. A ticket-taking machine belongs at the door. Um...
03:22:06
Speaker
um What about if we just do this and I whip out my keyboard and and i we just start, know can we just rip a song like in a musical where we just start playing? You guys are going try that We like real fucking crushed. What I want our signature song. What I want you to do first is I want you to roll uh, either ah a persuasion or intimidation check as a group. So I need you guys to choose if you want to do a persuasion or intimidation check as a group.
03:22:35
Speaker
Well, intimidation makes the most sense, even though I can't intimidate. But we have strong. have a plus on two to my intimidation. have four. To intimidate? Yeah. Okay, that might be the thing. And persuade. have a three in an intimidation because of my charisma. And persuasion, I have also a three. So either one.
03:22:51
Speaker
Oh, let's intimidate because I can't persuade. Okay, so who wants to roll the intimidation check? Well, you say you got three? Someone had four? yeah Yeah. Sounds like Xena's going to rolling intimidation. 20. Not a crit. You guys start to play and you're so imposing and like basically assertive in your playing of your instruments that the guards just stop behind you and let you just... think we the new band. Loom sucks. Now we're cool. Now I need you guys to roll a group performance check.
03:23:23
Speaker
are Our signature song. so we each We're the next big band. Bloom sucks. I don't do very good singing. crushed that one. but I fucking finally. So goddamn finally. Our median number is 20. That's actually a very good performance. You guys put on a hell of a performance. I'm Once it's all done, even the tieflings... I'm like like i'm like Mike Portnoy's drum kit where you know he goes in a circle. of the like yeah It actually circles around you. to yeah just Yeah, I'm just hitting stuff as it spins around me. it spins around you.
03:23:52
Speaker
ah So once it's all done, the tieflings that are like sitting there with Augie are all just like... clapping and like yeah Augie he seems very flat faced he's like impressive ah well you guys could maybe perform a song um'm would have to you know take Loon off the stage but I might allow you to perform a song if you want so and I will note you you guys have not in any way secured Loon's freedom in any way no but we got her off the stage if we get her off the stage we could fucking book it So the wall force, fighter did you guys want is you guys are, yeah, yeah. Yeah. We're going to try to, we're going to try to not go into the wall of force as soon as she's. No, I don't want to go. So you see the wall of force start to shrink and loon gets lifted up.
03:24:40
Speaker
Oh no. It's trapped inside the wall force as the stage is now free for you guys to perform on. Okay. Well now we've got to go up there. Yeah, I guess so. performance Okay. So can we, ah um, make a, maybe we should make an ultimatum. Like, Hey, we want to, we want to barter for,
03:24:55
Speaker
ah her freedom, right? like Oh, is that what this is? That's what this is. I would like to barter for her freedom. what this If we crush this performance, you let us all go.
03:25:08
Speaker
you what? and Let's make things interesting. How about I join you on stage and we can make this a little battle? Oh, shit. devil went down to Georgia. The devil went down to Georgia.
03:25:19
Speaker
What instrument do you play? Well, I've been known to dabble in trumpet a little bit and he like oh makes a little flourish and a trumpet but appears in his hands. I use i had a band in high school called Streetlight Mephisto. Oh, God. As he, like, turns and he goes, he makes a, uh, he does a little solo and he's, he's like, he basically, he does a literal face melting solo as he turns to one of the fiends and it's like, and the blast from this horn rips the skin from this fiend's face. Just like, fucking rules.
03:25:50
Speaker
This guy rips. And like, out walk and the fiend's just like, oh, and falls over dead. I clap. All the other all the all the feet all the teethlings that are on them are just like... I like that. I enjoy that very much.
03:26:03
Speaker
So what do say? Can you do it again? Should we make things interesting? I mean, yeah. Yeah, let's do it. Let's fucking rip. Oh, yes, excellent. As he snaps a finger, chest, this golden kind of chest appears in front of him, kind of out of nowhere. He lifts it up, and he pulls out of the chest. You can see there's a bunch of scrolls and pieces of parchment and stuff inside this.
03:26:27
Speaker
And he pulls out, plucks out ah from them a napkin. And on the napkin, it says, I owe you. And it has Loon's signature scrawled on it. And underneath, it has 100 souls kind of like etched into it as well. And says, is Loon's contract for their soul?
03:26:44
Speaker
If you win, you'll get this back. If I win, well, I'll take it easy on you. I'll just take...
Escape and Reflection
03:26:50
Speaker
A cherished item, a magic item, something that you love. Fuck my rat hats. Maybe that fancy guitar you got strapped on your back. No, what do you have?
03:27:03
Speaker
Larjo? Larjo, don't you have something? Your magical item is a metal of muscle. That's what it's called. yeah Don't you think that that the devil might want that? I don't know what you're talking about. I don't have a magical item.
03:27:14
Speaker
I believe Larjo has this really cool item. You can have my rat hat. Where is it? I am lending it to that guy and i point to the guy throwing dice. Doesn't really look like it's yours very much anymore, does it? It's like Abishai sitting in the corner with the rat hat like cocked on his head. I'll do my magical guitar. 15 GPs. you can You can have my drumsticks.
03:27:43
Speaker
yeah I'll barter. He'd be okay with that. I'll barter up my guitar. You're going offer your guitar? For Loon's soul, it will be worth it.
03:27:54
Speaker
There's something poetic about us yeah but giving up our instruments, right? Yeah. Well, so he says, well... keyboard, yeah. Unless you're open to a date instead. Whoa.
03:28:05
Speaker
What kind of business is this? is He says, I'm at no deficit of dates, as he motions to the tieflings around him. We're all just, like, fawning over him. you...
03:28:17
Speaker
Have you noticed that my tits are the biggest in here? And vertical? Have you noticed that my tits are part of my disguise kit? They're probably bags full of sand or something like that. It was a spell.
03:28:32
Speaker
Oh, it's a disguised self. That's right. It's right it's an illusion. yeah So it's not it's more that it just won't be there for forever. Yeah, exactly. It's more that if you went to go touch them, you would just like, there'd be like air and pass right through. him yeah That's what he does after I say that.
03:28:49
Speaker
He goes to motorboat. It's like... yeah Dead air. No. Wait a minute. That doesn't happen. No, that's right. Yeah, that's fair. ah So, Augie, he's very intrigued by your guys' offer. he has produced Loon's contract for their soul.
03:29:08
Speaker
And so he motions really quickly. And with that, the stage kind of like transforms. ah Loon, who had um originally been trapped in kind of this wall of force, all of a sudden flames shoot out from it. And they're trapped now in this fiery kind of cage.
03:29:22
Speaker
Hovering above the stage. She got real. Damn. All the attention's on her. That sucks. You agree to the battle, and with a flourish, the stage starts to transform. A fiery cage appears around Loon.
03:29:34
Speaker
ah They scream in fright as they're lifted into the air, trapped inside the flaming prison. ah so I'd look better up there. several several are up there Several instruments appear on one side.
03:29:46
Speaker
an electronic drum kit and a multi-tiered synthesizer. A banner behind the kit reads, The Heat. A couple imps fly down and take their places behind the drums and keyboard.
03:29:58
Speaker
that's Augie's band. Damn. It's getting all Scott programming. Yeah. So you're invited to take the stage. ah You guys also he also, asks for your band name and makes a banner appear for you guys Three Orcs Down. Three Orcs Down. yeah As you could all take your place, ah with that, Augie, kind of like in a flash of fire, disappears from the VIP area and onto stage. scroll And like you guys kind of come down and take the stage. ah You hear him, demons and devils, aberrations and monstrosities, and everyone in between.
03:30:35
Speaker
we have come to the stage, a group of, ah we have ah coming we have coming to the stage, a group of challengers. They want Loon's soul but I can't just give it to them, can I?
03:30:47
Speaker
The crowd yells back. No. Hell no. Fuck no. Yeah, fuck that. Why would you do that? Fuck that. Terrible business decision. Think of your bottom line.
03:30:58
Speaker
Augie smiles, raising his hands in the air. and Then it's a battle. With that, an electronic drum beat and a horn-driven new wave sound kicks up as the heat starts to play. Damn.
03:31:10
Speaker
That's our shit. That's our style. I think it's hilarious that you guys settled on New Wave because this was I wrote this before you guys picked that. Hey, that's our thing. yeah Hey, what the hell? I'm going to share with you guys a couple of sheets here. so there's What I need you guys to do is to pick the lead performer of the band. So it's probably going to be Xena, I believe, right? Yep.
03:31:37
Speaker
And so the way this is going to work is over three rounds, you guys are going to do a battle of the bands. Okay. Fun. Xena is the lead. The very first thing I need you to do is to gauge the audience. So I'm going to get you to make a insight check.
03:31:51
Speaker
Okay. ah So I'm just going to take that first one. That is a two. That is a natural one, unfortunately. yeah so that's a failure to with your on your insight check so what this would have gotten you was basically an extra 1d4 to add to one of your other roles going forward but unfortunately you failed uh so i'm also going to actually do this exact same check for augie he knows the crowd pretty well though i he actually succeeded on his insights dang makes there It's so like a home court advantage type of deal.
03:32:22
Speaker
So for the listeners, ah there's a whole table being written here. Yeah, I've got i just going to be i got to track all you guys' roles and stuff as you're going through this Battle of the Bands. So the idea is yeah you guys are going to ah make checks, and there's going to be a total on those checks at the very end. Whoever has the highest total is the winner of the Battle of the Bands.
03:32:41
Speaker
Nice. Okay, oh got it. So what we're going to do now is to basically back up And Xena, we're going to have in this first round, ah you guys can choose. So you are part of the crew in this instance. So you guys can choose to ah add a backup performance or do special effects in some way, shape or form. And so you can see basically here the the checks that you'll have to do and what those will net you.
03:33:08
Speaker
Larja, what are you doing to... Backup performer. Backup performer. Okay, so please make a performance check, please. One question I have for you, and we tied your performance check to your strength. Yes, so I wanted to i wanted to crush that metal of muscle right before I started playing. Okay, for sure. Yeah.
03:33:24
Speaker
And the metal of a muscle, for listeners, is a a metal that I can squeeze tightly in the palm of my hand as an action doing, so gives me an advantage on strength checks and strength saving throws for an hour.
03:33:38
Speaker
For sure. And then it becomes useless and non-magical, so I'll just shove it in my pocket. So with a strength-based performance check, you can roll that for me, and we will see what you get here. And if you succeed, you will add...
03:33:50
Speaker
<unk> Yes. Oh, 24. 24, baby. Really good. So as you guys start to lay down some kind of like backing tracks for Xena, really, really fucking good check. Okay, so your performance ah modifier, your ability modifier, ah you use your strength, so that's a plus three, I think.
03:34:07
Speaker
Okay. Why they? what are you doing? You're doing special effects? special effects, yeah. so how would you like to, what are you doing to make these special effects? So I'm going to like when I hit my drum kits, it's going to like spray off like sparks and shit. and like Are you using a specific spell for this or just like, um, I do have pyrotechnics, which is a specific spell. I'll tell you what, if you use your pyrotechnics spell, I'll give you advantage on the roll. Yeah. Yeah. I want to do that. Cause I feel like that's, it does literally shoot off fireworks. Exactly. Like that makes the sense. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. That's quite the spectacle. So I'll give you advantage on the roll if you want.
03:34:39
Speaker
Yeah. Let's do that. 17. Ooh. seventeen o ah That means you get to add D6 when, so if you want, you can roll a D6 right now. Two. So that's going to add an extra two to the... When it's all and done.
03:34:53
Speaker
So on the other side of things, so the amps kind of like started everything off, you know like a... Like a really synthy kind of like drum beat and some synthesizers kind of like laying down.
03:35:03
Speaker
ah They rolled really badly on both of their checks. They're not adding anything to the final performances. Austere performance. Yeah, that those Let the music do the talking, right? Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So... ah Yeah. and Basically, as they kind of like lay down a bit of a track, they do do do and then like kind of point to you wide there and you pick it up and do do dotor that do do. And ah with that, Larjo, you're laying down a backing track and you guys, tell yeah you guys did really good on your checks and you can see that the crowd is like starting to kind of like move a little along with your guys' music. Yeah.
03:35:37
Speaker
The same thing that also starts to happen, you see the fiery cage that Luna's in starts to kind of like weaken a little bit. The fire dies a little bit as all of the beings start to like move to your guys' ass music.
03:35:48
Speaker
Well, it looks like the dancing is putting out the fire. We're going into round two, the main body of the performance. I would like our leads to make another check. So, Xena, main body of performance, when you try to impress the audience, the lead must make a performance check. So, if you would like to make a performance check for me, and this is, going to use the total of this.
03:36:07
Speaker
uh as your basics as your starting score a crit natural 20 beautiful that's amazing yay that feels really good was like come on come on after not being able like after gauging like you weren't like really like you're like pointing to the back and there's like nobody yeah yeah zina rolled a natural 20 on her performance check for total of 27 so that's where you guys's performance is starting amazing um basically what happened is i'm like can i get a can get a hell yeah in here and it was like cricket cricket can i get a hell yeah cricket and then i played and they were fucking and then like guitar kicks in
03:36:53
Speaker
Can I go to hell yeah? And I was like, hell then But then we're like a dark wave band, so then we just start to shoegaze for like five minutes. But they're loving it. But they're fucking loving it, because it's hell.
03:37:07
Speaker
I hope that devil named Scar is dead. So, Augie starts with an 18 on his performance check. As you guys do your bit, and everybody's enthralled by this, you shoot it back over to the heat.
03:37:20
Speaker
They start to make theirs, and Augie's like faltering a little bit, of like a little, like, taking back at like how much you guys are in you know capturing the audience. Okay, so now for backup pieces, we need Wideday and Larja. are you guys doing? You want to make another backup performance check or a special effects check? Hell, I'm just going to keep on ripping on my keys. Go for it. And I have advantage on that, so 23. 23. Holy smokes, Case. Amazing. That's going to be another. Okay, Wideday, what are you
03:37:51
Speaker
So I'm going to cast Thunder Wave. Okay. I'm just going to make like, yeah, I'm going to Pikachu the shit out of this. Okay, let's do another special effects roll. yeah So instead of the Pyrotechnics, I'm going to be like,
03:38:04
Speaker
And because you're making like you're adding you're adding, like, sub drops. Yeah. yeah yeah but It's like turning into an Eichler's show. bla bla bla bla walk bla Okay, so ah because you're using a leveled spell, I'll let you roll with advantage again.
03:38:19
Speaker
Nice. Thunderwave is a leveled It's level It's level one, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'll let you roll with advantage again. Yeah, for sure. So we're just rolling charisma, right? Yeah, charisma check. oh Oh my god. That's another net. This is great. So just like spin my drumstick and I smash it and it just like has a huge bass drop. Now with the 23 you can add a 1d8 to the final performance. So roll 1d8 for me. Hell yeah yeah. Hell yeah brother. My brother. My biological brother.
03:38:46
Speaker
Three. Is that something? That's good, yeah. You guys are adding more than these imps are adding. Hell yeah. Right now you guys are beating the shit out of these guys. Yay! Don't jinx. Okay, so... Oh, yeah, got the good encore still....is going to special effects as a bunch of... Finale....sparks shoot out from his drum set that is kind like trying to imitate you. He actually rolled a nat 20 on his special effects, so he's going to add a... Sorry, what is that? 22. Another... Yeah, one D8 as well, too, so...
03:39:18
Speaker
Rollo. Not for you you. Not against you, Keelan. school that No. You can... It's not... Am I allowed to be mad at things? It's Cuth to say it out loud, but you can absolutely want the DM to Rollo. Yeah!
03:39:34
Speaker
Hey, so the other two imps actually succeeded this time. You can see Augie turned back to them and was like, you better put you better perform well or else I'm going to reap your souls like nobody's business. And they're just like, ah! That does make sense. Yeah, it does sound like the singer. That does add to the story. The imp on the drums is just like, dood, dood, dood, dood
03:39:55
Speaker
and the other amp who's on the synthesizer starts to like you know really like get into it yeah as basically that is where are we at now we're at Is he um the one from Pantera? He's still in the only crazy Phil that I know. guys have 38. Crazy? I mean, a little bit.
03:40:16
Speaker
I guess there's the... What other Phil's do I know? one from... You guys currently have 38 points to their 24. So you guys are beating the shit out of them. so... That's crazy. We're going to move into the third round. I don't want to get too comfortable.
03:40:31
Speaker
yeah Oh, actually, yes. they're Sorry that you guys shouldn't get too comfortable because something happens. Points double? no Shut up. Don't give away deals. That's how I would do it. Yeah, I know. Uh-oh.
03:40:46
Speaker
Uh-oh. This is the only one that matters. Okay, so actually, while you guys are performing in this round and before the round ends... ah A heckler starts up. Fuck. This guy is shouting, Boo! And he starts to little crowd going around him. need you guys to roll a group intimidation check, please. Oh, hell yeah. At least that's in our wheelhouse. Oh, hell yes.
03:41:07
Speaker
We're looking at a 14. 14. yeah The DC for the c check was 14. You guys succeed. as you stare down this one heckler, he's like, boo, boo. You guys all just give the evil eyes.
03:41:21
Speaker
um can I call him a little bitch? Yeah, we're in the middle. You're just like, you little bitch. He just kind shrinks down. Like the crowd, the heads. His head is like up there and just kind of like sinks down and like disappears.
03:41:35
Speaker
And then as this round is ending... I actually need everybody to make a perception or insight. Up to us? It's up to you. And everybody can make this individually. This is not a group check.
03:41:47
Speaker
I rolled a 15. I rolled a 9. ah So you guys are performing away. doing doing good do good to me do gooding When all of a sudden. Good song. When all of a sudden you see something starts to kind of like move as something that was obviously not there that you guys couldn't see.
03:42:07
Speaker
Something invisible cuts a bunch of the chords on your guys' equipment. And a bunch of the sound, half the sound kind of like cuts out. That's awesome. and like That doesn't say it on the sheet. There's a little bit of a squeal. And it it interferes with your guys' performance. Basically, what happened is you realize, ah you look over, you see this imp who is invisible appears.
03:42:25
Speaker
He's like, and he flies off. You sabotage your guys' performance, which means... Bitch. Yeah, you guys. Son of a bitch. Failure to repel the imp results in any special effects die being reduced by one tier, and any backup performance check is made with disadvantage. Damn. so going into this next round, this last round, we're going to have another lead check from Xena to start us off.
03:42:48
Speaker
My performance role is a strength-based role, which I have advantage on. So it's just a flat role for me, correct? Yeah. Okay. Absolutely.
03:42:58
Speaker
So Xena, let's get a lead role from you. So for round three, big finale, something spectacular to make the crowd remember your name. The lead must make a persuasion check. persuade them to love us.
03:43:09
Speaker
So this is what I'll do for you. If you use your enthralling performance, yeah I'm going to roll a wisdom save on a just a basic fiend sheet here with disadvantage. yeah And if you win, you'll have you'll have a bunch of the perform ah audience enthralled and I'll let you make some checks here with advantage. well I definitely want to do that.
03:43:29
Speaker
Okay, so let's do a wisdom save here for sure. So I rolled a wisdom ah saving throw for these guys. They rolled a nine okay with disadvantage. So that it fails, which means that basically they're enthralled. A large portion this like bay magic kind of like seeps out into the crowd. All these people are just like, ah, and like in awe and wonder as they look up at you.
03:43:47
Speaker
And ah you're now going to be making your lead check, I believe, with advantage. all of a sudden I want Cosmos. Yeah, so make sure make your final persuasion check with advantage. Ooh, with advantage. It's only it's only a nine.
03:44:03
Speaker
They're enthralled. They're enthralled. That's why it's not over until till it's over. I know. Take a look at the, I believe, the encore ah thing for for the crew. By convincing the crowd to call for an encore, the crew member allows the lead to take another shot at glory. The crew member makes a persuasion check, the DC of which is equal to 30 minus the result of the leads put on a show roll.
03:44:26
Speaker
So it's going to be a DC of 21. Okay. Oh, put on a show roll. Sorry. ah That was 27. So actually the DC is going to be very low. The DC three' is going to be three. Oh, okay. Okay. You're going to want to not roll a natural one basically on this.
03:44:42
Speaker
And with that, you can call an encore, which allows Xena to be re-roll her persuasion check. Should we still do our big finale first before the encore? ah So this is this is all lumped into the big finale. Okay. this is ah what What I'm going to do is I'm going roll for Augie really quickly.
03:44:59
Speaker
And then once we're all said and done, guys can call for an encore. Yeah, please do. And we'll see where our totals are at. Don't leave me hanging, man. You're being a real white. They clock so hard. You're like, actually, sorry, can I do my thing? I mean i am the star. erick You're in character. I am the best part of this band. Like, let's be honest. I think you do need to um access this in your real life.
03:45:21
Speaker
Rob could use a little more, like, wide-day energy. and sort of got that feedback from my boss recently, too. I guess.
03:45:32
Speaker
Sorry. No lie. Like three days ago. I'm just so sorry to be triggering. Not triggering. It's just hilarious. Nobody believes. I don't believe in myself. I know what everyone else does.
03:45:46
Speaker
So the imps totally biffed it on their checks to back up Augie for this big finale. His band sucks. Yeah, their band sucks. I think that's his biggest issue. Yeah, this is this is the this is the last chunk here. So you guys can choose whether or not you want to do special effects, do backup performance, or to call for an encore. Let's call for an encore. Encore. One more song?
03:46:10
Speaker
One more song? Did I hear one more song? Which one of you wants to try call for an encore? It is a persuasion. have for persuasion? The crew member makes a persuasion check. I have a zero.
03:46:27
Speaker
I have a Remember, the DC is very low. yeah Well, you have a three, so you might as well roll it. As long as I don't roll a one. Don't roll a natural one. Okay. Yeah. You're good. Okay. So with that... Yeah, the big finale is going up, and you notice that Xena maybe didn't quite do as good, but you're like, hey, everybody, let's get this one more big swing as you go into another... was just like...
03:46:53
Speaker
let's say let's say you were kind of like doing an outro and as the outro is kind of coming out you can decide to kind of like pick the beat back up and like go back oh shit song and like our our encore it's gonna be the the heat's big song that they just fucked up yeah you take what they were doing and you just start to play that we just do a dub of it we just do like a dub of it yeah and lastly lastly larjo what would you like to do a backups or special effects Back up again. Okay, do one more check.
03:47:21
Speaker
No, I'm a flat roll because I crushed my metal. And we will get Xena to redo her persuasion. 19, baby. 19 on a backup, so that's another with plus three.
03:47:33
Speaker
And Xena... With advantage? You are making that persuasion check with advantage. Oh, nice. Because of your enthralling performance. Oh, yeah. That means it's a crit. That is a crit, baby. With enthralling performance. A total of 24. Jesus Christ. You guys absolutely blasted these guys into the ground. That's amazing. We're a good band, guys. Fucking Augies. Fucking pretty good band. Yeah, I mean, we're good. We're pretty good. The Augies band's real bad. like I guess that's the problem. It's really hard to tell. I mean, when you get a shitty band leader. Yeah, you guys got 55 to their
03:48:15
Speaker
crush That's crazy. So as ah you guys finish up your performance and you're playing the best bit of the Heat song, Augie's just standing there like glaring at you furiously.
03:48:29
Speaker
How dare you come into my domain and try to steal a soul out from under me? I won't have it. yeah I didn't think he'd let it away. All of your souls will be mine. Now we need to fight him. He does not seem to care that you've won the battle. Yeah, I didn't think so. As this is happening...
03:48:44
Speaker
As this is happening, though, a voice sounds from just above the stage by Loon's Fiery Cage. Hey! You shouldn't leave your stuff just lying around. it's Smokey. looks up to see Smokey. Smokey! He's holding the chest that Augie had ah conjured full of contracts.
03:49:05
Speaker
It's lying open. And Smokey goes, oops, as he drops the chest into the roiling flaming prison that envelops Loon. All of the contracts... go up in flames including loons with that the small flimsy pieces of paper that most of the contracts are written on spill out and burn up augie cries out it is as his power is taken from him the flaming prison suddenly buckles and fails away as loon drops to the stage uh would you guys like to try to catch loon yeah i'm gonna catch that's a strength thing i'll do it yeah i'm big Yeah, roll a dexterity check for me. It's pretty low DC. Oh, dex.
03:49:44
Speaker
Whoever wants to do it. Who's doing it I'll do it. What's your dex? ah Plus one. Plus three. Oh, it's too late. A four. Oh, no, Larjo, you missed. Can we all try to capture? No, you guys can help. If you guys are all helping, yeah. We'll say the Larjo rolled with advantage. Which is much better. Which is 20. you all charge in to go to catch Loon, and Larjo, you rolled a 20 on that check. Four.
03:50:13
Speaker
And you all charge in and all of you kind of like create like a little bit of a, like a fire ring or whatever the people would do. A blanket for someone to jump on when they're coming out of the building. Like create some kind of clockwork mechanism that pops out Yeah. it's like It's like the top of the tom. It's like, yeah. out Yeah. um yeah And yeah, they fall kind of like softly into your guys' arms.
03:50:37
Speaker
ah And. No. With that, yeah a you see Augie kind of like, fall to one knee, and then they kind of like are bent down, and they stop and raise up.
03:50:49
Speaker
They put out their hand, and so in their hand appears a flaming longsword. Oh, yeah, it's going down. You're not leaving. You're alive. And we're going to need you guys to roll initiative. That looks like something a little devil bitch would do. I'm ready to hack this motherfucker up.
03:51:05
Speaker
Okay, Xena, you're up first as Augie is wielding. a ah kind of ah been He's been emaciated a little bit. He looks definitely like he's dropped in power, but he's still wielding this flaming blade as he's kind of like on the stage with you guys. i want to see if I can cast.
03:51:23
Speaker
Tasha's hideous laughter on him. Okay, yeah, for sure. Yeah, that's a six bell, do it. He rolled a 17 total. Oh, shit, all right. Unfortunately, that has no effect on him. Can't blame me for trying. Yeah, you point your finger and the power of the two Would have cool. The power of the two tones tries to get hold of Augie, who just laughs and says, the power of the two tones has no sway here.
03:51:48
Speaker
the You feeble attempts to make me incapacitated. ah Feeble. I laugh at them. But not in Natasha's hideous But not in Natasha's hideous way. In a regular devil way. Yes.
03:52:00
Speaker
In which I have control over my faculties. Do not confuse this current laughter. This is just my normal laugh. Ha ha ha. It's not because of you, it's because of me. cash is hideous. Laugh sounds like this. You'll know it when you hear it. You'll know it when you hear it. He baby sounds like Goofy when he... Okay, so ah that unfortunately didn't have an effect. i don't think you have anything else that you can do, Zina? No, I thought that was kind of could do. Why'd they? It is your turn.
03:52:29
Speaker
All right, I'm going to do my traditional spin over to our barbarian and protect him from evil and good. okay Sweet, thank you. so I feel imbued with power. Which will give you ah some...
03:52:44
Speaker
ah advantage on defense and attack on our friend yeah so any attacks that agi makes on you will be disadvantage and you also cannot be charmed or frightened by him nice or possessed yeah working on it so that's me i'm like pretty hard to scare to be honest because i have brave as well agi is going to actually you know what uh he is going to try and Well, I mean, he could try and charm you.
03:53:11
Speaker
you could try. But it's not going to work. What's his intelligence? But does he know that? He would have seen you cast a spell. What I will do is since I'm going to roll an intelligence check to see if he recognizes the spell. It's a ah it's a level one spell, so it's probably not going to be that hard to recognize.
03:53:28
Speaker
Yeah, he knows what spell you cast, so he can avoid that. Right. I think he might actually cast a Charm on you, White Day. What do I have to... So I'm going to need a Wisdom saving throw. Wisdom, right?
03:53:39
Speaker
Yeah. Cool. This is Fiendish Charm. One humanoid he can see within 30 feet. Shit, I don't have proficiency with my Wisdom saving.
03:53:51
Speaker
That is a failure. Eight. I rolled an eight. I've charmed. You are charmed, and you must obey his spoken commands. If the target suffers for any harm from the ah from the devil or another creature, receives a suicidal command from Augie, you can repeat your saving throw. I...
03:54:13
Speaker
can also potentially use my built for success. How far away was I from? you Use that. Yeah. Use it. Oh, thank God. Absolutely. You're going to add a D4 to this. Built for success.
03:54:24
Speaker
built for I had a three, so I'm ah up to 11. Up to 11? That's still failure. It was a DC 14 wisdom saving. Well, I couldn't have won anyway as a D4. It's okay. well um i mean, if you want to keep that if you want to keep that, we'll say you you won't burn it. Because you know, you can use this trait of a... ah Number two, equal to my proficiency. After you see the d twenty roll, but before the effects of the roll are resolved. So actually, yeah, you would have burned it, unfortunately.
03:54:49
Speaker
so Yeah, that's okay. Okay. That is your turn. Why they casting that spell, I believe, right? So now we're on to Augie. no, Augie Charm, do you? Yeah, and so Larjo. ah Yeah, and his command is basically just to protect him.
03:55:03
Speaker
ah So ah with that, Larjo. Oh, boy. i sure wish that I was higher level so I could do two things, but I can't really. so I'm going to fly into a rage.
03:55:17
Speaker
Aye, aye, aye! Aye, aye, aye! He's a monkey man. Turn it into the big monkey man, and i am going to... I don't like that there's new tokens. I just ah decided to add Smokey. Oh.
03:55:30
Speaker
So I have him act at the end of the initiative order. So I grow a little lashing spiny tail. Okay. ah But I pull out my long sword because it is better than the tail. And I swipe it at Augie.
03:55:44
Speaker
The great sword. The pretty good great sword. Okay. ah That is a... 18. ah That is, I think, just barely a hit. ah Yes, that is just barely a hit. Hell yeah. huge j Actually, i lower i lowered his armor class as well, too. Wow.
03:56:02
Speaker
Nice. 15. 15 damage. Ooh, that is a big hit. Nice. see... Hell yeah. ah Yeah. Oh, man, that's that's a big one. He's still up. But Augie, you step in and just a big slice as big black acre goes spray goes across the stage.
03:56:19
Speaker
And Augie just to a knee really quickly and then ah back up and just like, oh, how dare take that? I dare you. Devily bastard.
03:56:30
Speaker
Bitch. Okay. She's little bitch. Smokey is actually going to fly in towards you, Wide Day, and be like, oh, no. It looks like he's got you. Quick. And he's going to try and slap you to slap and slap you out of your charm. Okay. Yeah, that's why I really wished I had two attacks. That would have been good. That's an 18 to hit.
03:56:50
Speaker
Oh, that hits. ah He's going to do just a single point of damage as he slaps you across the face. Okay, I'll take it. Okay. She's like, get a hold of yourself, man. And you immediately just like, wo and you come out of the charm. Nice. or No, sorry. you have a You can repeat the saving throw. Oh, okay. That's what happens. sorry Also good.
03:57:06
Speaker
Please repeat the saving throw. 10. That is a failure. Oh, no. Well, was a 14. That's guess to roll. So you need like a 15 or a half. Another failure. So you're still charmed by Augie. Okay, Xena.
03:57:21
Speaker
I feel like I might just be best to try to try to hit him with my sword. hey what do you think? You can hit me. can pummel me. Yeah, you can try and get... Why'd they... Well, if he dies, would happen to Well, don't hit me with a sword. Like, something. No, you can something. What happens if this... Because it sounded like he was almost down. The devil.
03:57:38
Speaker
He's looking very hurt. That's why I'm like, it might just be better to just hit him with a sword. Yeah, sure. Like, Larjo's slashed into him. I can slap him after. sure. And get him out of the charm. It sounded like he was kind of close. Okay, him do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. but Yeah, yeah.
03:57:53
Speaker
What do you guys think? Is that a story leave you hanging? Nope. Do what joe after you want to do. I already got my protection from evil and good. I'm just going to try, I guess. o I'm scared. I'm so scared. I'm so scared. I'm so sweared that so scared. Swing that sword. Is this crazy, Joey?
03:58:06
Speaker
Just swing the sword. Just attack him. That's my whole thing.
03:58:11
Speaker
So five is a miss, unfortunately. What? That doesn't seem right. Would have been sweet if you had advantage. but If you could have got advantage somehow. But you step in to go take a swing at Augie, who faints backwards and you just hit air.
03:58:25
Speaker
If only I gave you protection from evil and good. yeah ahs Yeah. So unfortunately, you missed on that. my rules are ah With that, we're on to, I don't think have Well, actually, I'll ask you really quickly, Zena. Can I do a bonus action for Sonic and Spurrier? I was just going to say, you have your bardics that you can do as a bonus. Can I that to him? Bardic dice to large roll, you'll get that. You can use that for a saving throw, an attack roll, ability check.
03:58:50
Speaker
And that is D10? D8. It's a D6. It gets bigger at higher levels, right? yeah And when she gets to level 5, it becomes a D8. Alright, so Xena, that is your turn. Why'd they? What can I do if I'm charmed?
03:59:07
Speaker
So at this point, it basically this level of charm is very powerful. Sure. ah You have to obey the the This is a cambion, is the stat block I'm using for Augie.
03:59:19
Speaker
ah You have to obey their spoken commands. Right, which he told me to protect him. Yeah, to protect him. So how are you going to protect Augie with these people attacking him? um Yeah, okay. Let me role play that, figure out what I would do.
03:59:33
Speaker
um I protect him from himself, so I attack him no i tell I tell him to kill himself. um i would cast probably shield uh okay so shield only works on yourself unfortunately and it's a reaction spell as well too so you take it in uh in reaction to uh taking damage oh i see okay sorry i thought that just thinking of how i would buffer him with i but i buff him with something right i'm a good i guess the good news is that i'm basically out of stuff but i probably would attack them if i was trying to
04:00:10
Speaker
And so I guess what I should do is do a thunder wave. Pikachu. Yeah. Yeah. And you see basically wide daze. His eyes kind of like glaze over as Augie is like, protect me. then with that.
04:00:24
Speaker
So Xena and Larjo, I'm going to need you guys to roll. What is that? Con saves? Yep. Yep. Xena, you saved, which means you'll take half damage. That's only two points of thunder damage for you, Xena.
04:00:37
Speaker
I'm to take four. Four points. And also, Larjo, you get thrown backwards. Whoa. So I smashed my drum kit again yeah and made that huge thunder wave again and piston driven. Whoa.
04:00:49
Speaker
Whoa. the who And yeah, basically Xena, your big Goliath form, you like hunker down and it washes over you. But you see large otorun. What? Throw backwards. Domino. Yeah.
04:01:00
Speaker
So ah that is Everything Wide Day. Yep. Augie is going to move in towards Xena. ready ah With his flaming sword, and he's going to make an attack.
04:01:13
Speaker
23 to hit, Xena. Oh, that's hit, I think. That's a hit. Well, yeah. You're going to take... and where do you i got my, like... You have 17 hit points?
04:01:26
Speaker
I'm at 16 now. I think you're downed. ah Yeah, it was 21 total. Holy moly! As he does, 12 points of piercing and 9 points of fire. so
04:01:39
Speaker
slashes up on you and basically that big huge burst of flame catches you when you're down. You see Xena totally get hit by this and backwards. Well, good luck guys. You're making, are you going to be making death saves? Yeah, don't worry about it. here This will be So that is it for Augie Larjo.
04:01:58
Speaker
Come on, man. You got it. I'm pushed further back. I'm run over to Xena. Okay. And I'm to dump that potion of healing down her throat. Oh, that's nice. Yep. So an action. That's nice. It's a bonus action to use a potion on yourself, a full action to use on another person. That's fine. So 2d4 plus 2. You can roll that.
04:02:19
Speaker
And you will heal that back, Xena. D4 plus two. Eight. Nice. Plus eight? Yeah, so you get eight hit points back. So as you fall to the ground, Xena, you all of a sudden kind of like feel kind of like maybe a hand on the back of your head and something when in your mouth as you like open your eyes and see Larjo standing over you dumping a healing potion in your throat in your mouth.
04:02:40
Speaker
He's got a funnel. Good. You're alive. Boomk. be but so And then I turn Good thing don't have a gag reflex. Be ready. Is what I say when I wake up.
04:02:57
Speaker
Oh, wow. It was the first thing you said. Good thing I don't have a gag reflex. The entire venue goes, ugh. Washes over everybody from the front to the back. Everyone's so offended. Everyone's at a disadvantage. Is anything else, Larger? Everyone's at a disadvantage. Keep in mind, you've got you gotta to do or cause, get damaged for your... for your well But that was a full action, so I can't... Oh, wait, sorry. You took damage from Thunderwave, so you're good.
04:03:25
Speaker
Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. and Yeah, now that's a full action, so I don't think any bonus action I could have done would have. Okay, so with that, we're moving on to Smokey, who's going to zip around and fly in towards Augie.
04:03:37
Speaker
Oh, he's not going to try to slap me again? Go Smokey! Go Smokey! I'm still charmed. Yeah, he's like, oh, what the heck? yeah Come on Snap out of it! As he takes another swing, that is, he rolled a natural one.
04:03:51
Speaker
Oh, boy. As you kind of duck out of the way from him going to slap you. it just He forgot he smoked and it just like passes right over me. Yeah. Whoops. Xena. Do you have a potion as well? You could drink your potion.
04:04:04
Speaker
You do have a potion. It'll be a bonus action to drink your own potion. Yeah. Yeah? yeah yeah Yeah. Okay, well then I drink my own potion. 2d4 plus two. Good thing I don't have two gag reflexes. 2d4 and then just plus the number two? Yeah. So four. You get four four hit points back. Okay, I'll take it. Actually, just have like...
04:04:28
Speaker
every like I have the worst gay reflex. So you're up four more hit points. Thinking about like an unripened banana makes me gay. Thinking about it. Eating makes me Are you going to heal yourself as well? or um I don't.
04:04:45
Speaker
So what is Or we going attack him? We're going attack him. What does Bane do other than live in the shadows? in shadows. Bane gives a minus four to attack rolls on enemies and also minus four to their saving throws, I believe. Yeah.
04:05:01
Speaker
Yeah. So Augie would have minus four to attack. I just don't think I have really like an attack spell. I guess that's what it looks like. Yeah, you have your vicious mockery, which can do a little bit ah a little bit of psychic damage. Otherwise, i think it's your long sword. And then it's the Tasha's hideous laughter I could do again, which would leave him completely crap. Incapacitated.
04:05:19
Speaker
Maybe I'll try that again. What do you think? if If you get him, that's good. Yeah, but it's the same risk to hit him with a sword, it seems. Yeah, but if you're still if we knock him out. You're still charmed. Yeah, and I go next. I'll just slap him. Okay, go ahead.
04:05:31
Speaker
Try and hit him. Sword. Sword him. Sword the shit out of him. No, no, I think she means... Oh, you're trying to slap him. Yeah. Yeah, go, go, go, go. Yeah, go ahead and make an attack roll. I was like, oh no, do I have to use my sword? I thought you were trying to slap Augie. No. No, no, no. I wasn't clear. You can just roll like a Just roll d20 and add your strength modifier. Natural 20. You rolled natural 20. You hit him, yeah. For sure.
04:05:54
Speaker
I s slept the shit out of you. Yeah. D4 or just like a one point? D4 for damage. You can reroll your saving throw. Should I take D4 of damage or one point? Just ah one point. Plus, so what's your strength modifier? ah Not your score, but your modifier.
04:06:07
Speaker
Oh, one. One. Okay, so I take two points of damage. take points of damage. Okay, here we Wisdom, saving throw. Don't fail me now. Yeah, come Come on. I'm number one.
04:06:19
Speaker
There we go. char charmed i got a seventeen zena finally just knocked me out
04:06:23
Speaker
17. Uncharmed. I got a 17. Xena finally just knocked me out of it. Your big Goliath hand like could don like a clanging sound across your metal. My tiny little baby hand that i have in human life.
04:06:37
Speaker
Human life, not D&D life. So ah with that, you are now cut to. life Why'd they? You now have your own faculties back. And with that, it is your turn. Okay, I'm casting Protection from Evil and Good onsolin on Selen, on Xena. Okay, so ah actually, you still have Protection from Good. Actually, what I need you to do really quickly is roll a Constitution saving throw.
04:06:56
Speaker
Oh, okay. Because you do you're actually concentrating on the Protection from Evil for Larjo. Oh, so it so it changes it? And what happens what happens is if you recast it, you'll lose the Protection from him and then move it to him. so But I just still need you to make a Constitution saving throw. It's a DC 10. Okay.
04:07:12
Speaker
Yeah, you're good. So constant protection from for evil good is still up on Longo. Then I don't want to ah avoid that. So instead I'll cast Thunder Wave. So when you when you're concentrating on a spell and you cast another spell of concentration, it cancels ah the spell that concentrating on. so Then yeah, Thunder Wave on my friend here. and Okay. On Augie. Pikachu!
04:07:30
Speaker
<unk> i d why did and roof If this hits. Oh, wow. Okay, so this is crazy. This is crazy. What do you mean?
04:07:41
Speaker
Your DC is 12. Or DC is 13, sorry. ah He had to roll over 13 to get it to to take half damage. He rolled a 22. Okay. So he takes half damage. Okay. But half damage for that 11 points of thunder damage that she just did is five, and he has exactly five hit points left.
04:08:02
Speaker
I slapped you awake, and you got the kill. Motherfucker. Oh, yeah, yeah. wm um um um wa mom mom And as that goes out, basically, Augie's just like, no, and watch that thunder, that sonic damage hits him and just whoosh, whoosh.
04:08:16
Speaker
Rends him his his nice suit, his nice fine suit, ripped ribbons. Just like T2. Yeah, and basically just splattered backwards against the stage. Done. His um sword goes flying up in the air, lands point first into the stage, down.
04:08:33
Speaker
And the horn that he was playing goes flying up in the air, clatters to the stage. Those are both just kind of like sitting there now. And you can see everybody in the crowd is just like,
04:08:45
Speaker
Whoa. like What do they have to say for that? I told him I belong in the VIP. Yeah. yeah and And like slowly kind of like walking up, walking up out on the mic. yeah yeah Walking up behind you guys is is Loon, who's just like, my God, you guys, that was I was amazing. I just can't believe it. And so can I have your autograph? Yeah. What would you guys like to do?
04:09:11
Speaker
Do you want to play? Would you like to, before we go, should we play one more together? Well, I think we're going have to play few. Let's go get drinks in the VIP. I'm going to pick up that sword. It is a long sword.
04:09:28
Speaker
Yeah. um Do you want the horn? No. Okay, I'll get the horn. You actually have a horn you have a proficiency for horn. Oh, yeah. I definitely want the horn. okay so How do you guys feel about starting a ska band? yeah Ska. That's really cool right now. like Yeah, what if we did a ska new wave blend? I think we should sell out. so as you collect this So as you collect the sword and you collect the horn, as you collect Augie's trumpet and sword, there's a rumble that seems to be rising from somewhere deep below the club.
04:09:57
Speaker
The instruments left on the stage fall over, and the crowd starts to turn and make for exits. In no time, the rumble is turned into a full-blown earthquake that looks to be tearing the club apart. With a loud squeal and running of steel, the scaffolding over the stage suddenly gives way and falls.
04:10:14
Speaker
Oh, shit. Can I watch the girls go by? no Dexterity saving throw, everybody. Whoa, dex save. Oh, boy. That's not great. Okay. ah Larjo and Wide Day. Oh, Wide Day. You failed yeah on the dex save as a beam comes falling down.
04:10:34
Speaker
That is going to be oh ah four points of bludgeoning damage for both of you. Oh, no. And ah you both rolled four. Roll a d20 again really quick.
04:10:45
Speaker
Just straight up d20. Just a d20. Just roll a d20. Rollies. 14. 20. Natural 20. Nice. You rolled lower. Larjo, you are trapped under this. No. It's going to be the person with the lowest check, which you wrote the same.
04:11:00
Speaker
ah So ah you're now pinned underneath this thing. And you the club is... Roof is falling. Everything's falling down around you. What are you guys going to do can i fire Can I make an athletics?
04:11:11
Speaker
The roof is on fire? Can I make athletic This is like the station nightclub fire. Oh, no. Back there again. Sorry. Can I make an athletics check to try and like push it off myself? Absolutely. Would you guys like to try and help? Yeah. course. Do it with advantage. Okay. And I have a plus two as well because of that strength metal thing. I'm not helping.
04:11:29
Speaker
It's my roll anyways. oh, jeez. thought we were all helping 12 plus two 14. Yeah, but he just gets advantage. oh Oh, that is a failure. As he's still stuck. ah Okay. I'm going to need everybody to roll the dexterity checks again. Uh-oh.
04:11:43
Speaker
Dexterity saving throw. Sorry. Dexterity saving throw. Oh, so dexterous that time. haven't been using my dex, or is that dex save? Is this dex save? It says saving throws, yeah.
04:11:53
Speaker
Okay, why they you failed? you going Again, just cannot be dexterous today. You're taking another bar like a eight points of bludgeoning damage. Eight points of damage? Whoa!
04:12:04
Speaker
We got get out of here. This thing's on me. I'm going to drink my healing potion. Okay, you start to take your your healing potion. Which is oil. ah loon oral current Loon and Smokey are going to help you guys.
04:12:16
Speaker
Let's try and get another athletics to get Larjo out from underneath this thing. What's that? Sorry, um ah ah two d four plus right? for Yes. two three There we go. 21 plus 2 is the worst. Four more points to you there. Why'd they for your hit points? And a 21 athletics check for Larjo means you guys oh heave.
04:12:37
Speaker
ah Xena, you've got one of the beams. You've lifted up, and Loon is able to pull Larjo out from underneath, and you guys start to get off the stage and down. Let's get out of here. Dodging. I'm glad I didn't Arm Day last week.
04:12:53
Speaker
So you run through falling chunks of ceiling out the front doors as the final structure collapses. Devils and demons scatter across the land. The souls once bound by Augie stand before you. They all thank you as their forms turn into pinpricks of light that fly up off into the sky back to her whatever place they call home.
04:13:12
Speaker
Loon looks to all of you. Thanks for everything. ah Listen, and I'm exhausted, but once I'm up for it, we got a tour. yeah Hell yeah right a yeah. And with that, this has been greatest day of my life.
04:13:25
Speaker
That has been our Scott Ventures Guild. So credits start to roll. We see credits with, you know, Keelan, Keelan, Keelan, Keelan. We're living in the modern age and you can't have credits without a post credit scene. So the camera refocuses and we see Larjo getting ready for bed.
04:13:47
Speaker
The party has returned to the material plane from hell and all of you are back in your bedrooms ready for the, uh, ready to rest for the night. You've removed your equipment, Larjo, which lays strewn across the bedroom floor, your newly acquired sword laying on your nightstand.
04:14:02
Speaker
As you lay down, looking up at the ceiling, visions of the adventure you just had with your friends run through your mind. Suddenly, you hear something. Dickie Barrett comes in and says, I'm recruiting. Joey liked that Are you ready to be defined? You hear, Larjo. It's a voice calling.
04:14:21
Speaker
seems maybe, is that your name maybe? up. You're, Larjo. Hello? ah Larjo. As you look over, you see the voice calling.
04:14:34
Speaker
ah read You look over and the voice that you can hear you realize is your sword, your newly found sword speaking in your mind. talking sword. Mind sword. Hello, Larjo.
04:14:47
Speaker
My new master. We are going to make beautiful music together. I just know it. Uh-oh. It's Evil Devil Sword? Oh, no. It's Evil Devil Sword. And with that. Ba-boo. Cut to black. Oh, no. Evil Devil Sword. Hooray. Fuck, it's in the Cosmere. I didn't realize that. I should have guessed at all the underpinnings of it. Evil Devil Sword. So, yeah. That's it, guys. We did We did it.
04:15:09
Speaker
Yay. Yay. Thank you, Keelan. Yeah, that was really That was so fun. That was really good. Thanks for listening to Checkered Past. Hit us up on Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, and TikTok at Checkered Past Pod or send us an email at Checkered Past Pod at gmail.com.
04:15:21
Speaker
Support the pod and get bonus content including a full length and unedited audio of this episode and all of our Scott Ventures Guild episodes. Sign up for the Checkerhead Patreon at patreon.com slash Checkered Past.
04:15:33
Speaker
We also have merch available at Checkered Past.ca. Tell them about the merch, yu Yum, yum, more ska. Get the yum, yum, more ska merch. It says, it's Rob and he's eating some Scott. says yum, yum, more ska. I designed it. and It's real fun. We got hoodies of different varieties. Whatever kind of hoodie you want.
04:15:47
Speaker
And tees. And tees. And tees. Hoodies and tees. Hoodies and tees. Yeah. And we're going to be playing SPI Fest May 17th.
Festival Announcement and Episode Closing
04:15:57
Speaker
We're going be kicking off the festival on the Friday.
04:15:59
Speaker
i will be in Connecticut. It'll be me. Wawa and Dunks, right? Right. Oh, no, Wawa. Yeah, maybe. It'll be me. Joey. Celine. arianne the whole cpsc crew will be there and maybe a couple special guests well definitely at least one guest at least two at least two yeah there's a couple fun things that will be happening uh and we'll be there at the whole fest kind of bombing around so come see us come get a sticker yeah SPIFest.org to get your tickets. Windsor, Connecticut. Check Your Past is edited by Cutman, engineered by Joey. That's me.
04:16:35
Speaker
Our Scott Associate Producer is Chris Reeves of Scott Punk International. And this episode's theme song and dungeon mastering was done by Keelan. And until next time, I'm Rob.
04:16:47
Speaker
I'm Joey. And I don't have an Immortal Words, Joey. So do you have any Immortal Words? In the immortal words of Gary Gygax. I got nothing to add. What was that thing from the Futurama? it was a It's a pleasure to meet you. Yeah, there we go.
04:17:10
Speaker
Yeah.