Transcript
Speaker: When I see your silhouette, the cancer at sunset The wind blows through my hands, it leads me to the west I've drifted many days, still I'm left wondering Will I ever find my way?
Speaker: For that day
Speaker: And I've walked through this land But I don't understand I look up to the sky But still I see no sign I bow my head and pray Is anyone listening? Will I ever find my way?
Speaker: I'm flying
Speaker: I'm ready to go. I think uh I think we're I think we're in a good spot man. Hopefully, that wasn't a sign of how tonight's gonna go. God, I hope not. We've had so long without a technical glitch. Yeah. Anywho, everybody, welcome to non -sensical nonsense. I'm good. That other voice is a special needs kid. That's me.
Speaker: I like to watch your count down sir. Can I have some more? I need to get that as like a like to unlock my screen or something so that it just counts down only. Just to count down. Let's unlock my screen 14 times a day. My wife's like what are you doing? I'm like I'm watching the countdown.
Speaker: I don't know. I don't know that we're allowed to say that word anymore. Are we allowed to say retard? Uh, when it pertains to myself, I don't know. I, I mean, I remember we used to, what was the other one is a mentally handicap or meant what it was. The other mentally, mentally challenged. That just sounds like you're in a marathon.
Speaker: I have to I have to prepare for this mentally challenge what sounds like you're doing like mathletes or something you know yeah I'm mentally I don't know man but you know yeah you know what the show needs we're not really politically correct in the first place considering episode 14 yeah well okay look at you in the eye sir
Speaker: We I can't I can't believe how Completely off the rails. Oh my gosh that we went off the rails, but we did a whole nother fucking hour After after we said we were done Well, we tried to close for an hour but we kept getting sidetracked and and I didn't have to do crunches for like two days and
Speaker: Yes. Uh, the next morning, my, my, my, Oh my God. My face was hurting. I know my face hurts everybody, but. But what made it funnier was when we were finished, we weren't even off the air 10 minutes and my mother sent me one word. Idiots. Your mom sent me one word too. Seriously? With a question mark, no less. I sent her one word back. What?
Speaker: What are you talking about? I don't know. Oddly enough, what the problem is. We were, while we were recording, we, every time we hit about two hour mark and my wife's downstairs or something, she'll send me a message. Are you guys done yet? And she sent said message and we continued on for another hour and 20 minutes. And I go downstairs getting ready to get yelled at by my wife going, what the hell took so long?
Speaker: And she's passed out of sleep. God to the world. And she, she wakes up about four o 'clock in the morning. Uh, and I forget why she had to go to the restroom or something, but she got up and she goes, did you guys really go through three hours? I'm like, yeah. I said, technically we went three hours and 20 minutes, but technically you should not listen to the last hour.
Speaker: I literally sent my cousin. I said, dude, if you don't listen to a single episode, I totally get it. You know, you got your life and stuff, but you must listen to an hour and 40 minutes of the ending of this 20 minutes before the two hour Mark all the way to the hour or the three hour and 20 Mark, because holy crap.
Speaker: And so dumb. So bad. Well, and it likes completely out of left field for us as well. Yeah. Like we've never had conversations like that in the first place. Yeah. I don't even know. Just to clarify for anybody that did listen up so far. This is not what we talk about on a regular basis. Well, I mean, I started it. Well, I started my new job today.
Speaker: And I'm doing ride -alongs as I train. Your boss is like, what the fuck is wrong? Yeah. So so he was like, you were saying Saturday you do a podcast. What's your podcast about? And I said, you know, that's just a buddy of mine. I said, we.
Speaker: We have ideas or news stories or this, that, and the other thing that we want to go over. I said, but generally it just ends up with us bullshitting. He was like, Oh, what do you guys talk about? And he's a Jew from New York. So he's very, he's very, uh, right, right, right wing.
Speaker: Oh, he's gonna love that. He's actually really cool. Um, but I was like, you know, just bullshit about whatever. We don't talk about politics or anything like that. And he's like, Oh, awesome. You know, that's, that's a good idea right there. I was like, well, that was the number one rule we came up with. I was like, if you ever listen to any episodes, don't listen to the last one. Yeah.
Speaker: As proud as I am on how funny the last one is I'm selective on who I want to listen to it. I Really don't care if you want to listen to it. Listen to it It was awesome. I had fun doing it and it was all it was all in fun. It was joking Yeah, it was of course all in jokingly, but if anybody ever took it serious, oh my gosh Somebody could actually listen to it
Speaker: I actually put, when I posted on Reddit, and I meant to mention this to you before, but when I posted on Reddit, I said, look, I will give anybody that can make it the full three hours without laughing or even smiling. I'll give you a hundred bucks. Easy. Yeah. Well, that's a hundred bucks out of your pocket. Not my pocket. That's not going to happen though, because if you can listen to that episode, not even crack a smile.
Speaker: I mean, maybe the first 25, 30 minutes, because we're just kind of, we're getting in the groove like we always do. But if you can make it the full three hours without at least cracking a smile, knowing that we're not serious at all. Not only that, but they would have to record themselves for the entire three hours listening to it. So that you would have to watch, you would have to watch another three hours and some change of that.
Speaker: Just to verify that they didn't even so much crack a smile. I have watched episode. I pretty much rewatch every episode anyways. So I'd be able to hear in the background. So yeah, I don't rewatch them, but I do listen to them on Spotify. Yeah. I usually throw it up because, you know, I throw it up on, on the TV.
Speaker: in the background while I'm doing stuff. Cause I'm not, I'm not literally watching it, but it's there and I'm like, whatever. No, I want to, I want to actually make sure the sound came through good, made sure what jokes we did try to hit actually hit their mark and whatever, which, which totally hit the mark. Yeah. Cause I don't, I don't, uh, I don't listen to it when I edit it because I already changed long enough to do all the audio, all the editing and everything as it is.
Speaker: The last thing I want to do is listen to it while I'm trying to edit it. Right. You know, as long as it goes smoothly and there's no hiccups or technical difficulties or any of that bullshit, I'm yanking the audio. I'm cutting it. I'm adding music to it and whatever else. I mean, if we do have a hiccup, I'm able to delete it out of there if need be or whatever. But I'm not trying to listen to a full two hour episode or three hour.
Speaker: Yeah. The, the only regret I have that is with that three hour one is I, I've, there's a couple of things I watched that I see it's too long. I'm like, Oh, it's just so long. That's the only regretting bull thing about hitting the three arm on Sunday.
Speaker: was I was like, so many people are going to see that and go, oh, I'm three hours. Yeah. But, but, you know, but totally worth it. But, you know, that's not always true because it used to blow my mind when I would do periscope because on periscope, I'm like, tick tock. When you, when you would finish your stream, it stayed up so people could go back through and watch the replay. Right. And, you know, I would do four, five, six, seven hours, whatever. And it would blow my mind.
Speaker: that people, that there were people that would actually go through and if they may not watch all of it, but they would watch like, because it showed up on the analytics, they would watch a three or four hour replay. And I'm like, what is going on with your life? Don't you have a time on your, you guys got time on your hands. Yeah. That you're going to watch this drunk asshole for three or four hours. I didn't even do anything. Well, I mean, the nice thing about, the nice thing about a podcast is, is, uh, if we're lucky, we can get people that are like taking a long drive and they're like, I need something in the background.
Speaker: and they throw it up. That's, that's the main goal. It's like guys like me who spend the majority of this day driving in a truck. I listen to a lot of podcasts or I would listen to replay bars. Even, even once, once I get done training and I get in my own truck, I'm still going to be driving a lot. Yeah. So what do you think I'm going to do? I'm going to have podcasts or whatever out listening to it because I'm in my truck more than I am anything else. So, but
Speaker: Yeah, I just can't watch the video replay because I don't want to look at myself for three hours. I'm already looking at myself for three hours as it is. Unfortunately, what's going on outside? Oh, that's what I do. I constantly look out the door. Yeah. Because I literally stare at the back of my phone. Especially now since somebody decided to
Speaker: Talked shit and didn't think I'd shave my beard off. And now I shave my beard off and I'm like, yes. Yes, that must be discussed. I miss it. I miss it. Where did you go? I'm naked. I'm going to go back out. Every time I threatened to roll mine out, my wife was like, go ahead. I'll shave you while you're asleep. Yeah. And I keep seriously contemplating just shaving my fucking head.
Speaker: But the only thing that's stopping me - I've done it. It's not a good look on me. Well, the only thing that's stopping me now from shaving my head is the fact that my boss has his head shaved. And he like comes up to my chest. He's a little guy. So I don't walk around and look like, remember that movie Twins with David DeVito? David DeVito. Did you see the poster?
Speaker: for a, a fan suggested remake of that movie. No, they want it to star. No, actually, I think it would be really good if you get these two actors get the rocket. No, no, no, no, that would be terrible. But the guy that plays Aquaman, what's his name? Jason Momoa.
Speaker: There's Jason Momoa and the guy that plays the god damn it. I know his name. I love the actor. He's in Game of Thrones. You talk about that little midget? Yes. Diggler. Yeah. Oh, not Diggler. It's Dolph Diggler. Wasn't that the guy from the porn movie?
Speaker: that Mark Wahlberg was in. Yeah, it's Dirk, Dirk Dinkler. Oh, my gosh. I can't remember his name. Peter Dinkler. Peter Dinkler. Yes. You know, he said Game of Thrones and he was like, that dude is an elf. He's been in a ton of movies and you bring up. You're such a fucking nerd. You know what? I didn't watch Game of Thrones until
Speaker: about two months before the, well, no, I started watching about a month before the new season came out. And I was able to go right off of the final season, right into the new season, which was the final season was kind of crap. A lot, a lot of people didn't like it, but I liked it. I enjoyed it.
Speaker: But I've never seen a single episode. Oh, totally worth it. And I will. It was totally worth not seeing a single episode. You are absolutely right. Totally worth seeing, dude. I'm telling you. It's it's it's. It's shot and it's made in the same way. Walking dead and.
Speaker: True Blood is made. When you start watching, once you get into it, you're fucking hooked. Yeah, I'm good. Oh, totally worth it. Not to mention, you got Amelia Clarkson. She's constantly naked. Constantly. I've seen that woman naked more than her husband. I kid you not. So you just watched it for the naked chicks.
Speaker: Well, yeah. Wasn't Jason Momoa in that? Didn't he rape his sister or something? Yeah, he, no, he was, he played, uh, Emilia Clarke, he played like a savage. And he was only, yeah, he ends up dying because, you know, as a savage, they didn't really, well.
Speaker: back in the time I suppose they took place, middle ages style. They didn't have medicine in the first place, but he actually gets stabbed. And he's like, I'll rub some fucking dirt on it. I'll be fine. But he doesn't speak English in the entire movie. He speaks Dothraki, which is like this savage language that they had. But he, he's a fucking badass. I'm gonna need you to take your nerd boner and
Speaker: Yes. Don't take it to your nerd podcast. I can take a cold shower. I feel like giving you a wedgie and a swirly right now. Well, you know, I mean, this is the comic book nerd.
Speaker: Like if I if I have a question about comic books I come to you Speaking which I I I actually sent you a Message the other day is saying somebody leaked the trailer for the new spider -man. It turns out I was wrong. Yeah, it was a family thing Somebody talking about it somebody talking about somebody talking about leaking it and I'm like
Speaker: Motherfucker. Clickbait and it worked. Oh, it worked like you read about. Yeah. I was like, Oh, shit. Because when it comes to Spider -Man, I'm not a huge fan. Like I hated Tobey Maguire's Spider -Man. But Tom Holland, that kid is badass as Spider -Man. Yeah. And I think it's the tech. It's the tech in the suit that I like. Probably.
Speaker: And he's kind of a little bit of a smart ass. It's probably the best, most accurate Spider -Man out of the three different Spider -Mans that there's been. Well, that middle kid did okay, but it was like, eh. I think the problem with the Toby McWhire one is he was like 40
Speaker: The first one was supposed to believe that he was like 17 in high school. He's in high school. And I'm like, dude, you look like you're 35. Yeah. Come down here in high school. But, uh, and then you got, uh, what's, what's the guy's name? Uh, the, the, the school bully who in the new one is kind of a nerdy loser. Uh, what's, uh, I can't remember. He's played by.
Speaker: Um, what about, uh, in which, in which Superman and the Tobey Maguire and Tobey Maguire was no, no, no, no, no. That was the third one. No. In the first Spider -Man movie, when Spider -Man actually gets his powers, he gets in a fight with a school bully and the school bullies played by someone that's famous now. Oh, I can't think of it. And like chicks. Well, he plays, he plays the wolf.
Speaker: in True Blood. He plays El Cid. In True Blood, I can't remember his name. But Chick see him in - Radio silence. Yeah, I can't remember his name, but like he's been, like he's El Cid, I think it was his biggest role.
Speaker: But, uh, he's, he's built like Jason Momoa, you know, he's a bill. He's a brick shit house. But when you see him in the Spider -Man, you're like, really? Oh, I know you're talking about that. Uh, Michael Megan or Joe Megan. Yes. That's the guy. Thank you. Yeah. He's, he actually, that's like one of his first speaking roles in film was that Spider -Man movie.
Speaker: I don't remember him being in the Spider -Man movie. I do remember - Well, he played Buzz, or what was the, what's the - Flash. Flash, thank you. I remember Macho Man Randy's sandwich was in it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. What are you gonna do? I got you for three minutes. I got you for three minutes. Which sounds a little homo - homo. Three minutes.
Speaker: Like, wait, what? Speaking of buzz, I said buzz thinking instead of flash, they're making a light year movie. Haven't they already made Buzz Lightyear movie? Live action, Chris Evans starring. I'm out. Yeah, I was like, yeah.
Speaker: Found I'm gonna send you the video I'll post it on our Facebook pre as well, but it's it's this chick on TikTok She she talks about new new movie sequels that are coming out in 2022 or something like that And she's going through and there, you know, she's like missing possible seven because we're still doing this She kind of takes a stab at Tom Cruise like another mission impossible But
Speaker: I mean, at least they're good. I'm like, I watched the first one movie. I watched the first. Mission possible. And I was like, yeah, I'm out there.
Speaker: They're good for what they are. Yeah, it's like an escape. It's it's the same movie over and over again. Yeah, they're nice. But it's very similar to Fast and Furious. It's a different it's a little different storyline. I mean, it's a different mission. But that's what happens when you turn a TV show into a movie franchise.
Speaker: where you watch an hour episode every week, you know, or maybe there'll be a two -part episode that, so it's like James Bond. I mean, James Bond, there were so many books and they've done a ton of James Bond movies, but it's the same thing with a different villain or different chicks, you know? So, yeah.
Speaker: Nobody worse than Christmas Jones or whatever her name was. Take it. Take it for what it is. And, you know, unlike Fast and the Furious, it's just an incredible movie franchise. In the same theory of that, I'm waiting on John Wick 4 like you read about. Yeah, buddy. That dude can whoop some ass. And according to experts, well, known jiu -jitsu fighters and stuff,
Speaker: and I'm talking about Joe Rogan, uh, he's, he, uh, he's watching Keanu work out for the movie. And he's like, those are actually real fucking moves. Like he's like Keanu Reeves done fuck around. He's like, I'm not going to fake this shit. Let's train. Well, yeah, that's the thing. I mean, watch him, watch him do his training videos. I mean, even at the, uh, firing range. Yeah. Oh my God. At the firing range, that motherfucker, I would not want to be near that dude if he's got a gun in his hand. Yeah.
Speaker: Pissed at me But the dude is what almost 55 60 years old like he's 22 Yeah, well, I think he's 50 something he's obviously 50 something because he's older than I am but because he did Bill and Ted and what 85 and I was six I was five four or five when he came out and I
Speaker: He looks like he's only aged like six months from Bill and Ted to John Wick 3. What the fuck? I'm not fully in on Matrix 4 yet. I was honestly on the Matrix series after the first one. The first one was so good and then they tried to milk it. And then you got the third one is just complete fucking dog shit.
Speaker: Yeah, it was the first like I said, the first one was badass and they should have stopped there But there's a lot of movie franchises like that like Saul should have stopped it like Saul two and there's oh, yeah I I am looking forward to avatar 2 I Don't know why Yeah, there's a radio silence again
Speaker: Hey, you know what? And for one reason, for one reason, Zoe Saldana is beautiful. It always comes back to one thing with you, a hot chip or a naked chip.
Speaker: There's plenty of other movies out there with hot naked chicks in them. No, but I mean you gotta you gotta understand what you want to my fascination with for my fascination with avatar it all comes down to it is visually amazing you want to bang a blue chick well, maybe I'll be totally into it I
Speaker: No, but I mean, I mean, when you saw the first one, you've seen the first one, I'm assuming, because no, really. Absolutely not. Oh, the visuals are amazing. But better things. Of course, you got my girlfriends in it. My girlfriend's in it. Michelle Rodriguez. I will watch that woman read a newspaper. Dude, she likes three hours. I don't care. I can turn her around. Just like I can turn Ryan Reynolds.
Speaker: I can, I can, I can bring her back. Now you sound like the gay guys who are like, I can make a straight guy gay. Just try it. Just, just give it a little, a little, a little taste. Technically, if you really think about it, I identify as lesbian. So, you know, cause I like girls. I'm a vegetarian. Yes, I am.
Speaker: You know, people call me a pussy. Well, I'm like, well, I am what I do. You also say, well, um, rubber, your glue, whatever. My daughter was picking on my son. My son, my daughter was picking on my son the other day. And I'm like,
Speaker: a five -year -old, 10 -year -old. Really? He's like, she hit me. And I said, Kevin, she hits like a mosquito bite.
Speaker: And he's like, well, she was, she was making fun of me. I said, Kevin sticks and stones, man, just sticks and stones. And he's like, what? What do you want me to do? Get a stick and hit her with the stone? He was like, I don't have a stick. I'm like, Oh my God. I got to say, or explain this to this kid. Do you want me to throw a rock hitter and hit her with the stick? Yes. No, you toss a rock in the air, hit it like you do a baseball and hope to hit her. You know, but I had to explain it to him.
Speaker: Throw the rock up in the air to distract her when she's looking at the rock, buckle her knees with the stick.
Speaker: I can actually see that happening. I can see that shit happening in my head. I can see her going, fuck all shit. Not that I wish my kid harmed, but I want to see somebody do that to somebody. She's going to come in the house and say, can you hit me with a stick? Yeah, I know she's going to tell mom.
Speaker: my son will be like dad told me to wait a minute. Hey snitches get stitches and wind up in ditches. You hear what I'm saying? You little bitch. My kids are the worst snitches on the planet. My wife's like, you may tell me the truth. I'm like, no snitches get stitches. Yeah. My, my, my kids are, are ruthless, man. I tell them all the time, snitches get stitches. Stop being tattletales. Oh.
Speaker: But yeah, but at the same time she did this he did this and I'm like, you know You guys need to stop town town all the time. Do you get your ass kicked for that shit one day? Probably for me At the same time I know in a heartbeat my kids would throw my ass under a bus Oh without even blanket
Speaker: My kids do that now. Yeah. No second thought. Yeah. Dad did it. You know, it's like a bus up over top of me now. I didn't give you life and bring you into this world. My wife hates the fact that I like I don't, I'm not allowed to smoke in the house. But we do the podcast, but I have, I'm up to the door. So it's okay. But I tend to go to the bathroom and smoke.
Speaker: Cause a I'm in the bathroom open window and so you, so you're like, you're like a 14 year old kid all over again. Oh yeah. Sneaking a cigarette at your parents' house. So you're like, yeah, exhaust fan on the window, open, you got paper, but my wife will come in. She was like,
Speaker: Were you smoking, was dad smoking in the bathroom? My kids are like, yeah. I'm like, shut up, dude. What the fuck, man? Come on, bro. What are you doing? I let you guys get away with shit. You can't let dad get away with one thing. Prick. Guess who's getting their asses kicked when mom goes to work tomorrow. Amen to that. I pulled that one. I was like, well, my son's like, can I watch something? I'm like, nope. Can I use your phone? Nope. Why? Because you fucking ratted me out, you little shit. And then what you need to do is let them watch Godfather or
Speaker: He, you know, those, those old mob movies, let them see what happens. This is what happens to rats. Just so you know. Yeah. And you fuckers are rats. I will Joe Pesci your ass. You know, my friend Chris, he's in pest control and he takes out rats. Do I need to call him? You little rats. But it's usually something dumb that I get in trouble for. Well, don't do dumb shit. Oh, well, it's in my nature.
Speaker: That's just scorpion or frog kind of deal. Yeah, I say that is It's not like I'm doing anything bad but it's just stuff that drives my wife nuts and I get busted for ya cuz I'm like go outside or Stand by the door and smoke and I'll stand by the door
Speaker: I'm not going to go. I'm not going to take the extra eight inches to walk out the door, but I can't see the TV. You need a bigger TV B. You need to rotate it around so you can see it from outside. Yeah. Well, if it's raining.
Speaker: see everybody wants to judge me because I got a TV that takes up basically my entire wall of my living room. Oh, my gosh, it overtakes my liberty. But I'm like, Yeah, but if I'm in the kitchen cooking, guess who can see his TV? Amen to that. Yep. I turn the sound bar up. As you heard earlier, I'm deaf as fuck. So the sound bar up and
Speaker: I hear I tilt the mirror that's in the living room so I can stand in the doorway to see this TV see the TV through the mirror. Can't read the subtitles, but I don't give a shit. It's in English. Everybody in your house speaks English, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's English all the time in the house. OK. But once we go outside, it's it's it's it's usually Spanish. Spanglish.
Speaker: Well, yeah, well, except for the fact my kids will, you know, the one thing you get, what's called a gringo tax down here. Like if a cab driver notices, everybody's in the car speaking English. It's an extra $3 and you're like, wait, why? And he was like, well, cause I'm like, fuck. So before we get in the cab, every time I'm telling my kids, shut up, don't speak, speak, speak in Spanish. We're not in the car two seconds. Dad, look, I'm like, dude, shut up.
Speaker: And my wife's like, why are you telling the kids to shut up? I'm like, you don't hear them. You don't hear them. He's going to make us pay more. Obviously, you three are Mexican. Yeah. I look like fucking photo baguins. I'm the fucker. It's got to open his wallet for the shit. But it's gotten it's it's not as bad as it used to be anymore. I just hand them what I think it should be. And if you don't like it, you can fuck off.
Speaker: strangle his ass from the backseat. Take the car myself. That's another day in Mickey Hall. Another body found. Must be Wednesday. Hey, you were gonna tell a story about Aldi Aldi's the other day. We never got to it.
Speaker: You asked me to remind you the other reason I know that because I was re -listening to the episode the other day and you're like, remind me to ask me about Aldi's and I was like, all right. We never got to it. I've had a week. So the Aldi's thing, I got something else I got to tell you too. It's kind of embarrassing. Maybe I won't say anything. Summer's not here, so she's not here to wrap me up. The embarrassing stories are the funniest ones. I know, but it sucks.
Speaker: So yeah. So anyways, the, the local Aldi down the road for me, there was an article in the newspaper, not that I read the newspaper or anything like that. I'm not that old jet. No, buddy posted it in our, in a group chat that we have. Okay. The Aldi signed down the road. Somebody, I think it was Friday night, Saturday night defaced it spray painted it. Okay.
Speaker: to all these nuts.
Speaker: And there was an article, I'm not a big fan of the D's nuts jokes. I think they're, they were hilarious. They were hilarious when they first came out. Yeah. Back in the day, they were hilarious. After about, it's kind of like that coffee dance thing. Yeah. Funny for about a week. And then it was like, okay, I'm done. But there's like various radio show hosts or podcast hosts that just will do 27. They'll do 27 D's nuts in the first hour of their show every week.
Speaker: And it's just like I had stuff but that was funny as fuck but the best thing about it was It was like the article read Nurk PD are looking for the vandals who faced our sign at the Aldi store on 21st Street if you have any if you have any details that could lead to the arrest of the vandals and I'm like
Speaker: It's like first of all, do you share a parking lot with Home Depot? Yeah. Walk across the parking lot. Yeah.
Speaker: get some paint remover at Home Depot. It's the same parking lot as you and wipe it off. Exactly. Go get some paint thinner. This is not a difficult thing. It's like, watch out. We got criminal masterminds running around. Fucking Al Capone with a spray can. We got fucking John Gotti up in here. What are you guys, Vandals?
Speaker: I just love masterminds. They use the word vandals in this article like three or four times. Is it like the word of the week? Vandals? They got worded a day calendar. How can we use vandal today? JJ James is in the back of the newspaper. I want to see vandals use vandals today as much as you can.
Speaker: Now who's the nerd? Everybody that's not a nerd just went, what the fuck is JJ? JJ Jameson. Is that the whiskey? Is that the Irish whiskey? Yes, it's the Irish whiskey. Educate yourself. You give me shit about Game of Thrones. She's not a JJ Jameson reference. Good Lord. Comics are cool. Yeah.
Speaker: tell that to nine -year -old yourself tell that to the nine -year -old you in his ass you know the park school crowd first of all nine -year -old me was as big as i am now some of us actually grew up and don't look like we're still built like a 12 -year -old
Speaker: I'm just saying, you know, it's the only newspaper guy I could think of. Do you know any other famous newspaper people? No. Exactly. Not off the top of my head. Oh, that's hilarious. I mean, outside of the kids who used to stand on the corner going, hey, hey.
Speaker: I'm really striking out here. Newsies I've never even seen that movie. Oh, it's a fantastic. It's a fantastic play musical. Everyone I call it.
Speaker: Also talking to a guy that just spent two hours watching Pollyanna Yeah, who also spent a half hour talking to me before we started this podcast talking to me about Pollyanna and I'm like Like I said, I used to watch it so many times when I was a kid and I never got all the
Speaker: adult stuff that was in it, that you're like, I watched it now. And I was like, Holy shit. Oh, that's, that's kind of a bitch. That's, that's anything that you, that you watch now. I mean, uh, if, if, if you, even like Shrek, man, I remember, oh, there it is. Yeah. I was an adult when Shrek came out and I took my kids, but, um, it was like,
Speaker: they put this in a kids movie. What is Oh, yeah. What is going on with this? Well, I mean, there's literally YouTube channels devoted to things you don't realize until you're an adult. Like, what was it things, things only adults realize and, and insert name a movie here. But it was like, they did one on
Speaker: Oh, I can't remember what it was on all the Disney movies. Oh, yeah. There's all kinds. Well, it's like my wife. My wife loves the movie Pocahontas. You know, I said, you know what?
Speaker: whatever you do, don't look at the exact history of Pocahontas because you will never watch that movie the same way again. In the movie, in the cartoon Pocahontas looked like she looked like she's like 25 or whatever. In real life, she was like 14. And the main dude was like almost 30. Yeah.
Speaker: What's going on here? John Smith. That's your real name. That's just the name he put on the hotel registry. So his wife anywhere, USA, anywhere you stayed at one, two, three street. I want to do you buddy. Yeah, it's, it's, it's a really messed up story about what, what actually happened with Pocahontas and you're like, Jesus,
Speaker: That's the great thing. Even Rapunzel, the original story of Rapunzel was that the evil woman, quote unquote, that kept Rapunzel in the tower, she shoves the prince out the window. And he lands on stone and bramble bushes.
Speaker: to the point where he's paralyzed from the neck down. I still love him. A lot of those, a lot of those old nursery rhymes and whatnot were the grims. They're, they're dark as hell. I mean, even some of the wrongs, you know, like ring around the roses is about a disease and we all fall down. It's because they all died. It's like that song I was talking about the other day that, that, uh,
Speaker: Uh, what, what the hell is that? Uh, all the cool kids with the, yeah, I mean that's, that's about Colin. I was like, holy shit. I was like, what the hell?
Speaker: But yeah, there's, there's all sorts of stuff like that throughout history that Disney takes and they're like, well, how can we make this kid friendly? I would love to be at a pitch meeting where they bring in a bunch of stack of history of Pocahontas. Like how can we make this kid's friendly? Since somebody's reading it going, what are you fucking retarded? This kid's 14. This dude's 30.
Speaker: They're like, well, let's make it kid -friendly. We'll change our age to like 25. Oh, okay. Yeah, that works. And we'll take up the sex trafficking part. Yeah, it's all fun and games until you're a 14 -year -old indie girl being groomed by a 35 -year -old. Well, it's gotten to the point where
Speaker: It's gotten to a point where now you turn on Disney Plus and you press play on one of the movies and it gives us a trigger warning. By the way, they do that with Looney Tunes and stuff now. There's parental warnings with Looney Tunes. Like I said, I put on Swiss Family Robinson and they're like, the depiction of the pirates is not like really no shit.
Speaker: Yeah. And I was like, it was, uh, we was, uh, you can't skip that. Yeah. You can't skip it. It does account down to like 15 seconds. So you have to, you have to read it. And I'm like, I'm sitting here reading it going, did we not pay the bill? I like actually started to read it and went, Oh my God, it's a woke shit thing. But you love countdowns.
Speaker: I know, but it wasn't, it wasn't cool like ours. Ours actually takes almost the entire screen. This thing's like literally like the size of a dime on a 56 inch TV. It wasn't, it wasn't a actual countdown. Like here's your countdown. Here's your trigger warning. Yeah. It was a full trigger warning.
Speaker: almost like, by the way, pay your bill, kind of trigger kind of thing. Well, it looked like there was like an error, you know, on Netflix, you get an error code if the internet's down or something. Yeah, it was like that. And I, and I wanted to reread the whole thing because I because I didn't start reading. Five seconds left. I was like, wait, what did it say? Well, I couldn't pause it. Well, check don't tip.
Speaker: Yeah, I don't. It is what it is. If you're offended by Disney, well, then. Yeah, I mean, if you're offended by Disney movie, you got bigger problems than what's in said Disney movie. You should really consider looking into therapy. Something like they're like drugs. The depiction of of the pirates in this movie is not accurate. And I'm like, no shit. Well, how many fucking pirates do you know?
Speaker: Well, because they're, they're Asian pirates. Because there was never an Asian pirate. Well, I'm sure there was. I mean, pirates Caribbean, they showed a whole bunch of difference. But what it was like, the reason why is, is if you go on to Google, you put in what, what were the, what language were the pirates speaking and Swiss family Robinson. It's apparently made up. It's a made up. It's, it's them making fun of
Speaker: Chinese or Japanese or whatever they're supposed to be. They're just literally making up words. That's the trigger warning. Yeah, I'm done. I went off this. Yeah, exactly. Count me out. Exactly. And I was like, Oh, give me a rest. It was 19 was what I say was a 1960. I can't, I can't do it. I can't do it. Just drove me nuts.
Speaker: Well, so what is your embarrassing story? You have my interest peaked. I was going to tell her just to shut you the fuck up. Oh, so I'm almost 40. I'll be 40 in October. Right. And I've never had this issue in my life. Couldn't get it up.
Speaker: Happens to the best of them Whether it's soft or hard That's not good. Yeah. No, it's it's it's in that region, but it has nothing to do with my pecker He still worked right used to work little buddy
Speaker: I can still see a little bit of it when when he chubs up. Yeah. No, so I don't know how to put this in words.
Speaker: Show us on the doll where it touched you. Show us what afflicts you. Okay. No. Uh, so I, I am, I'm dealing with my first case ever of what I believe because I self -diagnosed. Uh, WebMD.
Speaker: I would have been dead already if I listened to them. You'd have a cold and they're like, you're going to die. I stub my finger on the door. That's cancer. You're dead. What the fuck? No, I have a hemorrhoid and which to the point where it's not as it's not hurting.
Speaker: as bad today as it has been. But let's say Monday and Tuesday, I was in so much pain.
Speaker: get kicked in the tank or fall on your tailbone. Yes, I'm following it. I've never been kicked in the tank. I could. But I've landed on my tailbone. Yes. I know that feeling. Or like when you get kicked in the nuts. Yeah. The pain is just radiates through your body. Yeah. It's not necessarily your sack. It's like in your stomach. Yeah. Hey, welcome pretty girl.
Speaker: There she is talking about him. She's like, I'm out.
Speaker: so no it was like in my stomach man so like when I would now when granted when I was sitting down it hurt like hell I bet and but it was like in my stomach so if I'd get up and walk around it just was like nauseating man so yeah like Sunday night I did not sleep at all I was up at like four o 'clock in the morning
Speaker: and I was in the bathtub with Epsom salts and I'm googling shit like, why does my butthole work? Did you get raped in prison? No. Stop talking about Ryan Reynolds. Like, no, I haven't been raped.
Speaker: And I've not put anything in my prison pocket. And so then I got on the, and I was like, all right, well, it's probably a hemorrhoid. I've been coughing and sneezing and, you know, and laughing and stuff like that can cause. That probably didn't help. Fortunately.
Speaker: It is external and not internal, so I don't have to shove anything up my butthole to fix it. So one day I have to go and buy Hemorrhoid Green. That's a good song.
Speaker: Like I love that song. So I have to go. So I'm like, I'm outside of doing my research and trying to figure out what the hell's wrong with my asshole because
Speaker: And I'm like, all right, what can I do to fix it? That's how I found out about the one and getting in the tub with absence salts and, and all that good jazz. And it's like, all right, well, let me run up again.
Speaker: Hemorrhoid cream. Well, I I'm at the store and I don't walk up to the counter Grab a bunch of weird stuff You go grab zip ties duct tape. I'm right cream and plastic bags on the shovel like I need this I went and
Speaker: I got like a bag of potato chips, a chip dip, a bag of a bag of Snickers. It was like, Oh, let me get a, let me get a sweet tea. That's like the guys that try to tell something to their wife. They're like, so yeah, I went and got wood to build this and I had to pick up a new drill. And then I had, you know, I had gay sex and then I went back to the truck and they're like, wait, what? Go back to the gay sex thing.
Speaker: I'm like, I'm going to buy all this random shit. And of course, they don't notice. And of course at the checkout counter, it couldn't have been like an old lady or an old dude. It was like a young girl. She wasn't pretty by no means, but it was still a young kid. And then she's like price check. So I was like,
Speaker: I was like, God, maybe I got enough bullshit that, you know, as, as a, as a, you know, I used to be a cashier back when I was in high school. So, you know, you'd go on your routine, you're just gaming shit. You're not really paying attention until something like that comes up and it's like, Oh, Oh yeah. You're giving me awkward. Look, I was like, don't look at me, bitch. Don't judge me.
Speaker: doesn't really bother me. I don't, I don't, I don't pull that game just cause like every once in my life, my wife would be like, can you go get me some tampons? Oh, I've been tampons don't bother me cause I've been buying that stuff. That doesn't bother me at all. Since we was in school, cause I got four sisters. So yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. You know, now I got daughters. It's like, just tell me what you want. What do you, what, I don't know what you like. You want it with wings, without, you know. I don't know what you like. I don't know what you prefer. I don't know what's comfortable. I don't know what's not comfortable. So tell me what kind you want and I'll get it. I'll get you 20 boxes. I'll get you some chocolate too. I know. I know the routine. I know how this works. Exactly. You know, but yeah, I was. You get past. Yeah, I did too.
Speaker: You should have gone like self -checkout or something. Well, I didn't have self -checkout and of course I went of all places I went to the dollar store because I'm like I
Speaker: You know, it's not like I'm not going to spend a lot of money on this. It's not like there's going to be a high class group of people working there. But he also, the chances of being seen in there again when you need a refill.
Speaker: Hopefully, I don't need a refund. I am feeling better. So, tonight, I had to put a pillow under my ass because the edge of my couch was, you know, it's a little bit down there. So, but then Summer's making fun of me and she tells Parker,
Speaker: His little friend or she says in front of Parker and his little friend I don't know if summer saw or not, but her and I have to get matching tattoos. I
Speaker: I saw the thing on Facebook. It's like your third at has to get a matching tattoo and it, and I was like, okay, we're probably going to be in Chris. It turned out it was summer. So I tagged her to get matching tattoos though. I don't know. Ryan. You guys going to get matching Jar Jar Binks from now we're getting a match for tramp stamps.
Speaker: Butterfly tramp stamps man. Oh, yeah, we're gonna get a tribal arm band to welcome back to 1993 is sugar ray gonna be there Wait The first summer's hearing of your tattoo excursion. No, I literally I tagged her in it Check your notifications summer. It should be in your notifications on Facebook. Who's the band? Who's the band that sang that butterfly song? Oh
Speaker: That's a crazy town. Yeah, crazy town. You guys, she wants to get matching Freddie Mercury tattoos. Hell yes. Right on your fucking forehead. My wife has, my wife, when I first met my wife, I had tattoos and she's like, I would never get a tattoo. Now she has more tattoos. What'd they do? Go away. Well, I had them before she,
Speaker: Well, they met my wife. I had tattoos, but they went away. Well, my wife got a summer. Yeah. A bunch of tattoos. Well, my wife had more tattoos than I do now. She's got a fucking she's got a it's actually kind of cool. She's got a spider like right on her neck. Nice. Come lady. Yeah. Well, she was a nerd. You want to talk about nerd. My wife has Dragon Ball Z shit on her leg.
Speaker: I'm a fucking loser. She's got a Dragon Ball Z ball on on her ankle and then she's got she's got the dragon from Dragon Ball Z and I'm like, really? Nerds are worse than any nerds on the planet. Especially when they're like, uh, Naruto could beat up Superman. It's like, how are you feeling? I'm like, good luck with that. Yeah, I've never gotten into anime. I don't get it. I don't understand it. I'm like, if I want to watch cartoons, at
Speaker: What she's saying it is I Can't read it without everybody in the brother looking up my nose
Speaker: Yeah, she's got way more tattoos than I do. Oh, my wife's got she got one. It's almost her entire thigh. She my wife is kind of light skin. Spider is like, almost on her neck. It's like, okay, like, collar, classical, collarbone. Yeah. But my wife's got, she
Speaker: one of our friends is a tattoo artist. And he's like, I need, I need somebody that wants to get a free tattoo, but it's got to be big. And it takes up my wife's entire thigh. And it's this, like, it's, it's really classy, uh, Mexican woman kind of thing. It looks, it looks really good. They didn't win, but, but, uh, artists would be like, okay, I need to get, I need a blank canvas. I can put a really big tattoo on.
Speaker: I actually had the opportunity but I couldn't get a whole lady in time Yeah, and she found somebody else. She wanted somebody that was like super white I'm sorry, and I'd spent the neck the past three days in the Sun digging a hole or something Yeah, and I was like well there goes that the neck tattoos. I was like you tattoo my ass if you Well, that's the whitest part of my body I
Speaker: I want to get more tattoos. Like I want to get my arm sleeved and I want to get a big piece on my back, but I just don't have the funds for it. And we don't have an artist yet. I went, uh, when I was working in a tattoo shop, I went full retard and I did my entire back of Superman stuff. And of course at this point in my life, I'm like, why did I get all that Superman stuff? But thankfully it's on my back so I don't have to see it.
Speaker: Yeah, no, I have I have one tattoo and it's it's my it is a Superman tattoo, but Yeah, I actually I have a design I want to get a cardinal on my forearm Yeah, my grandmother passed away a couple couple Like year ago a couple years ago cardinal with razor wings and breathing fire. Yeah No, it actually I'll send you a picture it's really cool
Speaker: But, uh, I want to get a bear on my other forearm because my grandmother's, my other grandmother, her, her last name is bear. So it's like kind of goes with the theme. She's, she had these, sorry, Jeff's grandma. I'll make it for the tattoos. He wants to get for you. I figured you were going to get a bear from the revenant raping Leonardo DiCaprio. I've yet to see that movie. I've never seen it. I've never seen it. I've got a big fan of Leo, but
Speaker: We've had enough movie talk for a while. I said, uh, speaking of summer. Yeah. And now that I'm in trouble, I already know I'm in trouble because I screwed up her tattoos. She's going to get Stevie after. Yeah. She's going to get gangster on you. Oh Lord. She didn't send me, she like, she'll, she'll, she'll randomly send me a little news articles. Oh, excellent. At least one of us is doing research.
Speaker: That's two of us that do research and one of us is not even on the show. I sent you a link today. The stupid people on the internet, that one chick asking if, what was it? She says, if I'm having twins, how long am I pregnant? It's like 18, 19 months. It's not really, I mean, it's not really an article that we could use.
Speaker: Well, except for the fact that Paris Hilton tweeted out when Nelson Mandela died. She says your, I have a dream speech was always inspirational. I was like, Oh my God. She really is stupid. You really are retarded. Uh, no. Um, but yeah, that's the thing. It's like top 100 dumbest tweets of all time. Well, I'm going to spend.
Speaker: Four hours. I didn't, I didn't, I didn't even go through them all. I got bored. No, I didn't get through them all, but summer sent me something. Okay. My favorite company, my favorite ice cold beverage beverage is jumping on the vaccination train. Oh my God. What were they giving away for beer? Yeah, buddy. Chris is getting vaccinated. Everybody. No, it's not. No, Biden came out and said that, that he wanted 70 % of Americans vaccinated by the July 4th weekend.
Speaker: Yeah. Budweiser said that if they, if that happens, then, uh, and as a Bush, the national brewer that proceed produces Budweiser announced Wednesday, it'll give away free alcohol. If the nation reaches Joe Biden's goal of 70 % of us adults received at least one dose of the vaccine by July 4th. So I was thinking, I was thinking like, Oh, you know, that's cool. Where do I go get my free beer?
Speaker: Yeah, that was gonna be my next question. It's more of a drawing. Oh, give me a break. So yeah, so basically, you take your you take a picture, a selfie of yourself at a restaurant, or no, no, no, at a restaurant or a bar. And then you're entered into a drawing.
Speaker: Either way, I didn't read the whole article. I just skimmed through it. I was going to say, how does that prove that you got a vaccine? That's my question. They don't want proof of you taking a vaccine. They're saying if America reaches the 70 % goal that Joe Biden wants as a whole, if America reaches the 70 % mark of 70 % of American citizens being vaccinated with at least one dose, then they'll do the free beer thing.
Speaker: Which is, which is cool to a point, but at the same time, you know, only certain people are going to get it. Whereas like a few years back, uh, three, four years ago, the Cleveland Browns went 0 and 16. Right. So up in Cleveland, what they did was every bar and restaurant and Cleveland had a cooler, a big Bud Light cooler stock full of Bud Light. And.
Speaker: when Cleveland won the first game, like after that Oh, and 16 season when Cleveland won the first game, everybody at the bar got free beer. Okay. You know, he just had to be lucky enough to be at that bar when Cleveland won their first game after going on 16. Which is totally a reason to go to the beer and go to the bar free beer.
Speaker: Yeah, if you're a Browns fan, you'd drink a lot anyway, so. Yeah. Except for last year, and this year coming up, this year we're going to Super Bowl. I'm curious. I might actually watch the sporting event. Well, I have one. Eddie hits it out of the park for a three -pointer.
Speaker: Uh, well, if, if Cleveland happens to make the Superbowl this year, I'm going to need you to create your kids up and send them here so I can sell them so I can go sell them mine. I'm going to buy tickets to it. And this is the thing that sucks. So like I've been a Browns fan my whole life. Right. Um, the last time they were in the playoffs was 18 years ago. Oh, wow. The last time they won a playoff game was like 20 years ago.
Speaker: Have they ever been in the Super Bowl? No, no. They're one of three or four franchises that have never been in the Super Bowl. And two of those franchises are expansion teams, the Houston Texans and Jacksonville Jaguars, I believe. So this year during COVID of all fucking times. Yeah, okay. Well, they just did unlock where you can pretty much
Speaker: But, but during the playoffs last year, they go to their first playoff game in 18 years against the Steelers, who they had not beaten at home and like ever gotten the right, how long it had been. I think, I think it was like, I think they were like 20 and 0 in Pittsburgh or something like that. So they go to Pittsburgh for a playoff game and they completely destroyed Pittsburgh.
Speaker: No, it was like, man, Pittsburgh's only like a four hour drive from here. If it wasn't for COVID, I would have bought tickets. So, and then they go to Kansas city and get screwed, but either way, it was like, of course they make it to the playoffs. And now watch this season with all the hype and all everything behind them. And statistically on paper, they're the best team in the league. They've got the best roster. Something will suck it up. Yeah. Something will fuck it up.
Speaker: I'm hoping not because last season was fun, man. I'm not used to celebrating wins. Usually, I'm just usually just sitting there drinking going fuck these team sucks. I'm just fucking getting drunk off my ass watching the Browns play screaming at the TV for your phone brick. Yeah.
Speaker: This this this last season I was getting drunk screaming at the TV, but I was happy. I was like, yeah You know, I was getting guys that weren't brownies are going. Why are dead so happy this year? Guys who weren't browns fans barking with me on My buddy's house who lives around the corner
Speaker: Uh, his neighbor's a Browns fan, but he's a 49ers fan and I'm like, come on, give me a, here we go. Brownies. And he was like, here we go. But I think, I think it's a, I think it's a pretty cool, it's a, it's a pretty cool thing, but it's kind of like when, uh, if they weren't, if they weren't doing it.
Speaker: in a drawing type things. Go Browns. Hey, Cameron, what's up, buddy? Well, it's kind of like, um, when, uh, what was it, uh, the socks, red socks, red socks. Yeah. You know, I mean, that hadn't happened in our lifetime and it happened. So it's not, it's not, uh, somewhere. Yeah. The Cubs, that's the one. Yeah. The Cubs hadn't, hadn't won in like a hundred years. And then, yeah. And they did.
Speaker: Madden went from the Rays to Chicago and then they broke the curse. So yeah. Why do you hate the Browns? Nobody hates, nobody hates the Browns unless you're an AFC North division rival. Outside of the AFC, if you're not a Browns fan, nobody hates the Browns. You know, it's funny. Speaking of sports, I wouldn't know what season is playing when. Well, right now we're tailing to hockey.
Speaker: They're in the playoffs for the Stanley Cup. Baseball season is about a quarter of the way through. Basketball is in the playoffs right now too and football starts in September.
Speaker: And we have to wait this year. We usually football has been 16 weeks. This week we get 17 weeks. So now why is it they're doing 17 weeks this year? Just expanding the season. Oh, okay. They've been talking about it for a few years, expanding the season. They've talked about 18, uh, anywhere from 18 to 20 games. Um, but the players weren't really.
Speaker: on board because you get four weeks of preseason before the actual season starts. And they're like, that's just, and your starters and stuff don't even play in the preseason. But yeah, but on top of that, it was like, listen, motherfucker, you're getting like $20 million. You can fucking play a little bit of extra football, you fucking pussies. Well, and that's the thing. I mean, they're like, well, you know, we can't put our bodies on the line for an extra four weeks. Meanwhile, hockey plays like 95 games and it's a more physical game than, than football. And,
Speaker: And you know, they're, they're playing three, four games a week. Right. So, you know, at some points. So, I mean, like right now in the playoffs, they playoffs are best of seven series. So they're playing that seven series and a week or a week and a half. They might have a day in between games. Which is the way it should be. I mean, from what they get paid, fuck.
Speaker: I mean, I would get, I would get killed, but you give me that kind of money. I'll go out on the field. Yeah. But they're, they're slowly working it in. I mean, last season, they didn't have a preseason because of COVID. They realized that they didn't need it. They didn't have the off season training. They're realizing that they don't really need it. So they're doing away with a lot of extra bullshit that they used to do. Right. So that opens up, opens up space for more weeks. Yeah. So hopefully that'll add to the regular season, which will be cool.
Speaker: But the one good thing about COVID that people are realizing that things we've done for years, we didn't really need to do. Like a whole lot of tech companies are to the point where like, you don't actually have to come into the office. A lot of companies are going to stay like that. I mean, we're just going to stay at home.
Speaker: And if you think about it, it would save them millions, almost billions of dollars because they don't need a big building. They can rent a little one room shack and be like, this is Google. Well, and that's exactly what I was going to say. They don't need these monstrous, uh, headquarters or home offices and this and the other things. So you're saving on energy or saving on.
Speaker: building maintenance and security and you know, speaking of tech companies, I have a question that, uh, it's a car question, but it's not really a car question. Cause, uh, what are your thoughts on Tesla? And specifically the Tesla cyber truck. Have you seen this thing?
Speaker: Does my silence answer your question? They finally came out with a pricing. Isn't this the truck that everybody reserved like three years ago and expected that? Well, do you know how much it costs to reserve it? You know how much it costs to reserve it? It was 100 bucks. Oh, was it? Yeah, but still a few. But the reason behind that is very simple. Elon Musk can take that, all these reservations,
Speaker: that normally if you reserve a car from like Dodge, you got to put like, you know, 10 grand down. So which means you have to fucking deliver. But with $100 down, Elon Musk can take he said he can go to the bank says, Look, I have all these reservations, we got to build this fucking thing, we need a new building. And the bank will be like, Okay, here's a couple billion dollars, go build it. But the pricing for these things,
Speaker: the top of the line, three motors. Uh, they haven't had a horsepower rating put out yet, but you're talking all wheel drive zero to 60 in three seconds, which is fucking lightning, um, for 70 grand out the door, fully loaded. And the smallest one's going for like 40, the single motor, two wheel drive version. Yeah. 40 grand. That's not bad.
Speaker: That's a lot cheaper than I thought it would be. But I mean, that goes back to where we were talking a while back. You know, Tesla's when they first came out, they were so rare and it was very few and far between where you see people had them. Now they've become pretty mainstream. I mean, to the point where they were supposed to have Tesla out at the beginning of the midway this year. So like they're supposed to have not next month, but I'm guessing beginning in 2022.
Speaker: But the problem with the Tesla truck, the one that he brought out on stage and stuff, it's fucking massive. Like it's a literal hummer with an F -150 side next to it. Why? Half an F -150 next to it. It's that wide. It's like almost 10 feet wide. So they have to shrink it down, you know, blah, blah, blah. Somebody sent Elon Musk a SDM shirt. Yes. Yeah, you ain't kidding. But
Speaker: I don't know. If I had the money, I might actually buy one because it does look really kind of cool. Have you bought one and it was that big? No, I would. Well, like I said, the actual ones that are coming out aren't going to be that wide. They're going to be maximum, I think, six foot wide. Yeah, I was going to say, if you got one and it's that big or even as big as it sounds like it's going to be, I'm going to need you to go to the tattoo shop and get as the intended forehead.
Speaker: Well, I would buy one, I would buy one just for the fact that the zero to 60 in three seconds. I mean, you can buy a $250 ,000 Lamborghini and do that same amount of zero to 60 in five seconds. Yeah, but
Speaker: that's good. You're 40 years old. I don't care. Not Paul Walker. That means I can get I can get I can get from Home Depot to my house in like 30 seconds. Yeah, that's well. And it's supposed to have a range of like the smallest one's gonna have a range like 300 miles on a single charge.
Speaker: I'm I'm I'm torn. I'm torn because I like the sound of a motor. I'm I'm still the body style is **** wicked. I don't know. Ford kind of pissed me off because oh my god, the lighting they they they hyped up the Bronco so much and it's like as big as an escape and then they brought the **** Ford Ranger back and it's as big as an F 150. Yeah. Well, at least Ford's new one.
Speaker: The Ford F -150 Lightning, but not the Lightning that you're thinking of. An electric F -150. Yeah. Yeah. The hood still goes up. Yeah. Chevy's putting electric in their cars. Ford's putting electric in their top of the line cars. Meanwhile, f**king Dodges.
Speaker: snorting co -driver under his ass and putting them in minivan. Hell yeah. And I'll tell you what, if they do, if they do come out with that minivan with a Hellcat in it, I'm ordering one. Fuck yes. Somebody used a big Dodge guy and he was like, I'm getting a minivan. I'm like, you know, the Jews are on to something over there, Dodge. Hey, I'll tell you what. The people that hate electric vehicles, they're the ones buying Dodges right now because they're like, fuck yeah.
Speaker: I don't even hate electric vehicles, so that's the thing. I just... I don't know. I don't care. To be honest with you. Yeah, you see a car as transportation. I see it as something totally different. As a status. A status. Well, not necessarily status. I see it as a giant boner.
Speaker: I'm
Speaker: with 40 cops behind me. But I mean, I could show up to your destination and punch you in your face 20 times. And there's nothing you can do about it. Running by Tesla and drive off. Yeah, I'm not going to punch you in the face. But I could if I wanted to. Well, the one thing I do find interesting about the electric vehicle thing is, you know, every morning you have a full tank of gas, so to speak, because you plug it into your house. Yeah, or you just buy that's kind of cool.
Speaker: Or you just buy a fuel efficient vehicle like I have and you don't have to fill up, but once every two weeks. Yeah. Yeah. But how often do you drive your car? Every day. For how long? Once every two weeks. Good Lord. I drive a half hour to and from work.
Speaker: Good Lord. That's not even factoring if I have to go to Johnstown and pick up my kids. I get about. I get. Dude, I made it. I made it down to from Ohio to where summer lives down. And actually, I should say I made it to Chattanooga, not where she lives, a little bit farther. Yeah, close enough. A little over 500 miles. Right. Three quarters of a tank. That's not bad. I drove from the thing is, though, I drove from. Yeah, I have a heavy foot to a certain degree.
Speaker: Drove I end up buying more tires than gas. Yeah. Well, I don't I Drove from Charleston to Tampa just over a little over half a tank in my car. That's not bad. That's not a Great gas mileage in my car My eclipse gets pretty good gas mileage, but it's the it's the slowest version you can buy. Yeah Yeah, that's all my eclipses
Speaker: The Malibu just gets, oh, it's horrible. I, my Malibu that I had was amazing. Yeah. But you had the four cylinder turbo, right? Uh, there was, yeah, I don't know if it was, my crew says the four cylinder turbo. Um, my Malibu was a four cylinder. I don't know if it had a career. What year was it? It was a 2000 and, uh, seven, 2008. I bought it brand new.
Speaker: Yeah. I had the, uh, it may just have the regular four cylinder, but I bought that because I had a truck that I was driving from Newark to Columbus at the time I have one 50 and you get four miles to the gallon. Yeah. I mean, it was costing me a hundred plus gallons to the mile. It was costing me a hundred plus dollars a week to drive back and forth to work. So I bought that Malibu and.
Speaker: I, with, even with that Malibu, I was filling up once every once a week, once like a week and a half or something like that. The only problem I have with the Malibu being a four -cylinder is Malibu is still a big vehicle. It really wasn't that big. I mean, it wasn't, it was, it was a little, and this is again, it's, it's a 10 year or nine year difference. If you want to get technical, nine to 10 year difference.
Speaker: between cars, but my Malibu that I had wasn't a whole lot bigger than my cruise I have right now. Oh, really? Now the Malibu's now are a lot bigger than my crew. Well, the cruise is the cruise is kind of like the replacement for the Malibu though. I don't know. They still have Malibu's. I mean, yeah, but they're, they're, they're slowly fading. It's kind of like the new S 10 is the size of his head, like three quarters of size is Phil Silverado, where they used to, you could put an S 10 in the back of a Silverado back in the day. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: Well, you keep talking about cars. I'm not going to take a piss. But no, it's one of those things. I don't. The new S10s are ugly, though. I can hear you. I have to talk really loud so we can't hear Chris peeing. Oh, that's terrible. Edit.
Speaker: I could hear you. I could hear you lift the toilet seat. I was like, I have to talk really loud so I can't hear his piss. Well, I was in there taking a piss and I was, and I was, and I was thinking, you know, aiming towards the porcelain. I wasn't like, but no, I was thinking, you know, oftentimes I do my best thinking in the bathroom. If it wasn't for the fact that I would have to carry a laptop and a microphone. Would that be considered an ASMR if I went in there and
Speaker: Oh, definitely. Put the mic up next to your dick. No, not to my dick. I put the mic into my dick and he'd be like, hey, what's going on, guys? What's up? He's here. That's Chris's pubes, the girls. Well, no, I mean, if I just held the mic out a little bit and you could hear me pissing into the toilet and hitting the water and the splash and then the flush, would that be like an ASMR?
Speaker: I guess it wouldn't be, it wouldn't be really relaxing. Somebody would, somebody would watch it and like it. We were talking about that on, on the last episode of ASMR and my mom goes, I don't even know what I want to know what ASMR is. And I sent her, I sent her the description. It's odd. I sent her a picture of the description from Google and she's like, Oh,
Speaker: I thought it was something sexual. I thought it was something like autorotic sound masturbation. It's not necessarily masturbation, but it's, I can't, I don't, I don't remember what it was, but it's autorotic. I don't think it's autorotic at all. I'm not autorotic. It's auto editorial. Yeah. So it's, it's, it's just, it's like a soothing sound kind of thing. You're so far off.
Speaker: You have no idea what you're talking about right now. Please go ahead and read it from Google, because I don't remember. I googled it. I did. I Googley did that shit. Pull up the old Google box. Yes, please, because I'm rambling. It's autonomous sensory meridian response. Which does not remotely. First of all, explain what it is. Let's give me kudos. Yes. You can actually say that. There was a lot of big fucking words and I said them.
Speaker: the fifth
Speaker: how he was sitting in his house and his neighbor, you know, he's got a small apartment, like paper thin. And he's got like, he can hear his neighbors having sex. But he's playing, he's got his, he turns up his TV, he's playing Mortal Kombat. They're hearing that. And he's like,
Speaker: He can tell they're getting right close to end and he goes, finish her. And then all of a sudden, like 10 minutes later, you're just coming from the other side of the wall. Round two, fight. He's like, oh shit. Yeah. I actually, I think I see that out of all places on fucking TikTok. Yeah. I remember it was a standout comedian told that or it was like a
Speaker: like an auditory meme or something. Every time somebody says, finished him, I think of that and I'm like, oh, that's fucking hilarious. It's fucking I could, uh, honestly, I could, uh, I could see me doing something like that to my neighbors. Oh, I would totally do that.
Speaker: I've actually, I have a story that I can't tell on here because my mother listens to this. I think she's hurt worse. Well, a similar thing happened. Mom, plug yours. Yes, please. I just told a story about my goddamn hemorrhoids. Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and tell the story. I actually, when I was working at the tattoo studio, when I moved down here, this girl came in, she was gorgeous. She's from New York and she wanted to get tattoos. So we got her a tattoo. And of course that night we went to my place.
Speaker: And the next morning, I lived in that place maybe three days hadn't met anybody lived there was apartment building. And the next morning, the neighbor knew my name. And he's like, he comes out, we're both are leaving the door at the same time. And she's next to me. And he goes, Good morning, Jeff. Up kind of late, huh? And I was like, how do you know me? Oh, well, there you go. I said, you were kind of loud. It's working.
Speaker: Well, it was one of the first times I've ever had a partner in the bedroom. It was the first time I had a partner. In the bedroom. Anyways, get that loud. And I think it all came down to the fact that she was from New York because, you know, and she had that she had that thick New York accent, which is now. Hello. I love that. I love a good accent on a chick.
Speaker: I think that's what keeps me and my wife together. My wife's English cracks me up. I do enjoy a good accent. I love the female Southern accent. One of the many things I love about summer is her accent. Yeah, that chick's got a seriously thick accent. Yeah, and it's a real Southern accent. It's not that fake forced Southern accent that you hear a lot.
Speaker: uh on tiktok or or whatever where some chicks from like in southern ohio and she's like she's from michigan yeah she's she's right on the border of canada and she's like howdy y 'all know like motherfucker shut the fuck up yeah she's from up there she's lived in tennessee for like two weeks yeah it's like come on bitch you you sound like
Speaker: No, there's a chick on TikTok. I literally could listen to this chick talk for New York accent. I'm just like, nah, it's my ASMR for the day. Welcome back, pretty girl. You must have heard me mention your name. Here's a burning. Fucking love, love Summer's accent. It's my favorite.
Speaker: I've always, especially with a long distance relationship, you just call her up and be like, honey, tell me a story while I take care of something. Can you read the phone book? What's a phone book? Shit. I forgot there's so much. No, I'm just saying. Google something to read it to me. I was talking about your accent and how much I love it.
Speaker: Well, it's like, uh, that's the one great thing about here is you get accents from all over and you, you, you really get to understand which ones you like and don't like. Yeah. Well, that's, that's, that's how it was doubted, uh, down to South Carolina because it was a transplant state. So yeah.
Speaker: New York you had people from the midwest you had people from uh, you know, um Like out east on the east coast and like washington and I don't really think that california has an accent unless douchebaggery is an accent. Yeah, I was gonna say well it what the one that What always gets me is when like if I said to summer I was like wow, I like your accent She would be like what accent?
Speaker: Yeah, well, they don't realize that those are the ones that you don't have to think that you don't have to think it killed me that I never noticed that we say and I say we because you're you're an Ohioan. Yeah. Um, the pop and soda thing. No, no, no, I've known that for years because my stepmother's from New Jersey and they say soda in New Jersey. Down here, we just say coke. I'll take a coke. But no, what we say is oh, a lot. Oh,
Speaker: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No summer and summer knows she has an accident. She just said No, we I wasn't saying you but there are people that are like what accent because yeah Well even people down here say I have an accent and I I'm like really I've lived here for 20 years Yeah, I still have an accent but it apparently my wife every once while she hates if like every once while if I'm I
Speaker: I'll be quoting something and I'll do it in a thick southern accent. She's like, don't, don't, no, no, don't do that. She's like, you're not going to get any for a month. I'm like, shit. I don't, I don't, I don't think I have an accent. I think I just, I don't hear it on you sound the way I sound, but it's certain certain words and phrases we'll, we'll bring it out. Yeah.
Speaker: On you and me, I think certain words and phrases bring out somebody on summer or my wife, pretty much every word they say, you're like, yeah, I can hear it. Oh yeah. Summer said that hers comes out really bad when she's been drinking and it definitely does, but I love it. Chris is sitting over in the corner going, do it again. I'm going to Staples after this. I'll be right back.
Speaker: Can we get another bottle of wine for the table? Can we get another bottle for the lady? The one I can't I like to listen to it when people talk but complete turn off Boston accent
Speaker: I like Boston accent but complete turn off. Boston accent I want to punch them square in the mouth and some New York accents I want to punch them in the face too. Not all because much like much like urban England or urban that area the UK I guess you could say there's multiple accents depending on where you're from. I like the Italian New York accent. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's. Yeah.
Speaker: I want to strangle that bitch. Yeah, I know that my kids want to see that the new hotel Transylvania and I know she's in it and I'm like. It's Parker said the only reason I like somewhere is because she has a big butt but you don't have a big butt. She got she got like a cute little butt. I'm not a bug guy. I'm a boob guy. So I'm I was never a butt guy until I married my wife. I met my wife. My wife got
Speaker: big old booty and I love it. Yeah. I like, I like a big old set of tickle, big biddies. Now see, that's another thing. I was never a big booby guy either. Well, my wife's got big boobs. So you just like two by fours is what you're saying. No, you know, I'm a real, uh,
Speaker: see about as far as I like to go. I'm a real personality type of guy. I like to carry on a conversation. Yeah. No, but I mean, I was never I, you know, you see the chicks that their boobs are as big as her head. I'm like, Yeah, I'm good. I love me some tickle babies, man.
Speaker: But my wife, my wife's got big boobs. And I'm all of a sudden, like, how you doing? She had to go, she had to go on a tour yesterday for like, they call them fam trips. So you can know the tour. And it was one of the ones she hadn't done. She's like, I need a bathing suit. I was like, all right. So I pulled out. Yeah, well, because they had to do a river swim.
Speaker: Here's a pair of shorts and a t -shirt. That's what I said. I was like, look, this looks like you came off the Amish reservation. Yeah. Summer said, trust me, I know, to my big boobs company. And she comes home and she's changing. And she takes her shirt off and takes her shorts off. And she's got her bikini on her knee. And I was like, kids, it's time for bed.
Speaker: And she's like, what are you talking about? I was like, you're wearing a bikini. She's like, you've seen me naked retard. I'm like, yeah, but something about that. Don't judge me because I like your big old bitty summer. Yeah. You should be proud of the fact that you should be proud of the fact that your, your, your man likes you just the way you are.
Speaker: Let's make an example. Close the door. Give me, give me, give me a couple of black guys. Make me look like a domestic violence victim. You know, you tell a guy with two black eyes, not even the dog twice. What had happened was I slipped the tail and I hit the door knob twice.
Speaker: I've failed. Look, why are you wearing sunglasses today? It's midnight. I have very sensitive eyes. I'd be like, look at my eyes. Look what happened to me. You said this to me. I earned these and I'm proud of them. I like them.
Speaker: It's like a badge
Speaker: you put beautiful or whatever. And I thought I thought about still do I thought about typing in still looks like a dude to me because you're a woman. But I didn't want to piss her off because she's gangster. Like, what's up, bro? I spent I I scrolled through Facebook and it popped up like three times. Because I was like looking at notifications and stuff. And you know, it was like summer posting new pictures.
Speaker: summer post a new picture. I was like, what's it? Oh, I saw it. And I, every time I saw it, I was like, I need to post something that's funny. But I couldn't think of anything that didn't sound overly mean. I didn't want to sound like an insult. You know, that's, I'm sure she would have got the joke. Yeah, that's, that's the great thing about summer is if you if you think that
Speaker: You're going to break her balls or bust her chops. Yeah, exactly. She'll do it right back. Yeah, she's going to annihilate you. She has fun with it. She doesn't take shit personal. We pick on each other constantly. Oh, I've heard it. I've read it. I'm usually the victim. I'm a victim, Jeff.
Speaker: Feel sorry for me. I have a question for you. I'm pretty sure it's a Latin thing, but my wife likes to bite. Like for no reason, she'll just bite my arm. And I'm like, look, if you're hungry, I'll make you a sandwich. But what the? She's like, if the day you have to, the day I stopped doing it is the day you have to worry about it. Yeah. I'm like, when's that day coming? Because fuck, someone takes flesh. But she always
Speaker: wants to pinch my nipples. Oh, no, no, I'm out. I have a weird I don't like my nipples touched. I don't like no. Yeah, you can see you can tickle my taint. Just don't touch my nipples. I don't know. She bites my nipples. She pinches my nipples. I don't even want them to be seen summer. I'm not weird. Just I would. If I could, I'd send my nipples off because I don't want to touch and she farts on me.
Speaker: That's just funny. Like literally farts on me. Every once in a while, you know how, as in life you get gas every once in a while, I'll get gas and I won't say anything. I'll just fart. My wife's like, I know it was you. It smells like your brand. And I'm like, that is the weirdest thing to say. And she's like, everybody has their own brand and I know yours. And I'm like, yeah.
Speaker: so she does she admits to it she proudly admits to farting on me she said i do all my life so angry i don't have angry but like goddamn why like and i'm stupid i'm stupid so here's the thing i'm i'm stupid she'll be like do you smell that you're like oh my god yeah she also tries to shove her fingers and that's why i have hemorrhoids just so you know she tries to shove her fingers in my butt when i walk
Speaker: but I'm stupid and she'll cuddle up beside me and I'm like, oh, yeah, we're going to get real close. And I'll like shut up. Yeah, I'll cuddle. I'm like, God damn it. I'm like, really?
Speaker: yeah i know they're wild that's what i just said and then and then they're like i thought you were getting all nice and sweet and you just fucking fart on me i'm just taking shit on my ass later yeah and they stink too you're supposed to be a southern
Speaker: No manners and nope. She's gangsta, remember? Her ass is gangsta. I tease her all the time because one time I went down to visit and we normally get a hotel when I get down for the
Speaker: the while I'm down there. Right. And I was like, we had to evacuate two floors of the hotel because you're stinky. I said, Parker went into a coma for three days.
Speaker: I don't know what it is. It gives me gas, but every once in a while I'll have gas. My wife liked to kill me every time I left one. And it's not like they make a sound. It's their their SPDs, you know. And she's just like, oh, my God, I know it was you. And mine are loud. But even though she knows it's me, she goes, who farted? And the kids go, what, me? I don't know. Like, he, he, he, he. So not only is it wasn't me and I don't know fucking shit up around my house, but now they're stinking it up. Yeah.
Speaker: no and like i fart and they're loud and they're bassy and you know but what's up the bear drops but but they don't stink oh no no my shit don't stink man oh i can peel paint off a wall i'd rather you not bring protein bar
Speaker: She's like, you know, she's going to Dutch oven you because I bought it. I bought a court for the last time she came up. I'll court that ass. What are you doing? Nothing.
Speaker: good that's that's it leave that in don't take it out she's like wrong whole crap you're like no it ain't it's not that fucking powerful here's a bottle of wine it's perfectly it's it's all natural nothing to worry about nothing to see here move along move along
Speaker: That's a lot. No, I did after because, okay. So the first time she came up, you know, when, when, when you're, you're first date and somebody and you're, you're spending time together, like you don't want to fart or anything. So like the first time she came up, man, my stomach was twisting and turning and I'd walk out. I'm like, I'm not going to smoke a cigarette. Go outside.
Speaker: One of the first times I, when I first met my wife, we were working in the same place and I would drive her home at the end of, you know, we, we'd go hang out and we would see a movie or whatever. And then I'd drive her home. And the one day, and like her, her mom and stepdad and brother and sister, they lived in the house. But the closest bathroom was literally right off the living room.
Speaker: And I had to shit real bad one day. I was like, well, I got to get going. And she's like, really usually stay for like an hour after I said, no, I got to go on. I got, I got to get up early tomorrow. I got to do a few things. I, I'm like halfway home and I like, no, I'm not going to make it. Yeah. So I literally pulled behind a, uh, like a loading dock of a supermarket and leaned up next to the car and just took a bit of shit right there. You were like, you were like smoking and product.
Speaker: Yeah. Oh man. What are you doing? Yeah, exactly. And now the funny thing is that same, uh, loading dock is, I can walk to it from here in like 10 minutes. Yeah. Like when, when, when, when, when I got a shit, I got a shit, you know, it is what it is. Um,
Speaker: But I did the first time she came up. I still tried. I was like, I'm not going to fuck around. I got to be rude. I'm going to.
Speaker: I got, I got a little bit of manners. You're feeling each other out. You're not sure what you get away with. We were, we were so, we were so far past feeling each other out by the first time she came up to visit. Like we was just friends. And I think we may have only been friends for like a week or so. And we were Snapchatting and she Snapchat me one night because she couldn't find her earbuds and she stopped chatting to me. And she's like, so, um, I've been able to find my earbuds, but we're just going to go and.
Speaker: do this together. And her camera went down and I'm like, oh shit, this is not what we're doing. And her earbuds were in her panties. I thought she was about to show me the goods. And I was like, we're just friends. This is not what we're doing. You know, like, that's not who I am. And it's still one of the funniest things ever. You know, by the time we, you know, there was no feeling each other out. I was just trying not to be rude.
Speaker: right and i still say that goes i mean when you first meet somebody in person yeah it's not like hey i'm gonna take a big old fart right next to you well and it's a courtesy thing almost she swears up and down that the first weekend that or the first time we met in person that she didn't fart that weekend but i'm pretty sure that she
Speaker: She's like, I'm going for a cigarettes. You don't smoke. Well, yeah, I'm pretty sure she rolled over and she was like, take that fucker. And I'm like, what the hell? Calm down, bro. So like she says it wasn't the first time it was the second time she came up. But I after she farted on me and it stunk, I was like, I'm about to fuck everybody's world up. And I can feel.
Speaker: It's on Snapchat and the memories. When you farted on me, I'm pretty sure it was the first time you came up. But I will cherish your ear bud. That was so fucking funny. God damn. Dude, this girl, she is something else. I love her to death. I love everything about her. She's a lunatic and I fucking love it. And there's like no, there's no,
Speaker: filter yeah there's that there's never been any filter between the two of us she said it was the second time and she's busting a caplet but after she farted on me regardless if it was the first or second time i got revenge and i and out of my apartment's not very big like right i mean it's a small ass apartment
Speaker: Her and the kids were in the living room and I come out and from the bedroom and Stuck my ass in the doorway of the living room Crop dust all 20 feet drive by And it was it was one of those you could feel it in here. I like I knew it was gonna smell bad I was like
Speaker: And now it's just, it's just the norm when we're together. It's like, you know, you're five minutes in from us. Uh, you know, whether she comes here or I go there, you know, adult things are going to happen. And then after that's that, that quickies in and out of the way, then we start farting on the oil. She starts farting on me.
Speaker: And the kids fart on each other and the kids fart on us. You guys are savages. You're all heathens. You paint a vivid picture, sir. It's one big farting and happy family. Amen to that. Meanwhile, of all people, of all people in this family, I'm the sensible one. I'm the one trying to be like... All right, that's enough of the farting on everybody.
Speaker: You know you're the wrong one. I'm the sensible one. When I'm the one. You guys were in public. Come on.
Speaker: Oh, Jesus Christ. Don't even get me started. We're in public. The boys, the boys like steakhouse for a fuck sake. Come on. We'll go to Walmart and the boys will start running around like uncaged baboons. Oh, and I'm like, I'm going to go look at always with my kids going.
Speaker: All right, when we get in here, it's next to the car the whole time. Do not go anywhere. And we're not in the door. Two seconds are like, look, and they take off and I'm like, come here. My wife's like, let them be. They're fine. I don't mind that they venture off. But like the boys, the girls will venture off and do whatever the hell they want. They usually write the boys are like running around. They're throwing balls. Yeah, they're there. And summer's loving it. And I'm just like,
Speaker: Yeah Yeah, it's like it's it's like I love these people but Jesus Christ I can't take them out in public When did I become the grown -up? That's when you know trouble when I'm the grown -ups. It's the weird thing that you get as Hellion's as as a Hellion myself when I was younger. Yeah, uh
Speaker: I knew how to properly behave in public because my mother would want my ass when public or not. She didn't give a shit. Oh, yeah. She like, well, if you know, if we were in a grocery store, we're going to go over to the wooden spoon section. I'm like, wait, why? Now, I will say, oh, shit. I will say, if the kids start acting up and getting too out of lines, right, that Southern mama come out in the summer. And it scares me.
Speaker: So, I can only imagine what it does to the kid. But if they're just like running a muck and having fun. She's just like, leave him alone. Yeah. Shut the **** up. Yeah. I'm literally trying to quietly tell my kids to shut up because I can hear him screaming as there's What do you want now?
Speaker: You just walked past in the background, walking over top of the bed. It's almost time for you guys to go to bed. You should have swiped his feet out from underneath. Just smoke his ass. Turn my fan on here. Pow, take that, you little bitch.
Speaker: Now as as the young boys when they go outside is it is it a scream fest to Playing but they get louder and louder Well, there's there's a few little boys here in the apartment complex that they're friends with so they just
Speaker: They run around and we had a little bit of issues, but a couple little boys that they play with their brothers, they thought that they were going to bully Cash around and didn't realize that Cash had a brother too.
Speaker: you know, when the boys get together, you know, they they can be run amok. Yeah. Now, they're all friends. Now, it's all cool. So, yeah, when they get together, they run around outside like a bunch of animals, which is fine. Yeah. Outside. I have no problem. Have fun. But if if I have my front door closed, my kids halfway down the street at his friend's house and I can hear him screaming just for no reason. I'm like, what the **** are you doing? You know, yeah, I don't care.
Speaker: Oh, if they're outside and they're playing and they're having fun, as long as they're getting along, as long as all the kids are getting along, you know, I don't care what you do. You know, you guys are friends, you're playing, you're wrestling, you're racing, you're riding your scooters, you're playing that, whatever. Be as loud as you want. And if somebody bitches about it, tell them to suck a dick. Come see me. Yeah. And if they don't like you telling them to suck a dick, tell them to come see me.
Speaker: Yeah. But the two little boys who at first were assholes, I also told them that I would, I would kill their grandparents. So. That's a lie because you made it, you made your, your mom friend. You know, I, I literally asked him, I was like, do you, do you like your grandparents? And they're like, yeah, we love them. And I'm like, do you want something bad to happen to them? And they're like, what do you mean? I mean, I was like, do you want them to die? And they're like, no, stop being little assholes.
Speaker: I did this something similar to a a kid that was picking on my my son Because I have it on my face But
Speaker: Um, this kid was, he, he picked up my son and it, it wasn't anything bad. It was just kids being kids, but I literally, he was swinging on the swing. He was playing on the swing the next day and I was like, be careful.
Speaker: and walked away. I don't know if it makes me a horrible person, and I'm probably gonna get myself in trouble for saying this on the podcast, but I literally told these two little kids that their grandparents would die if they didn't start acting. Your grandparents will burn in hell. What the fuck? I will bathe in their blood and wear their flesh. And drink from their skull.
Speaker: it was like come to Jesus meeting with him I'm Don Corley owner over here that's fucked up I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse your little fucking shit I will kill your grandparents and eat their soul
Speaker: That's my wife saying she she yelled at my kids the other day and she says I will smack you so hard your soul will pop out of your body and I was like what the fuck is that? She's like I don't know it just came to me. Jesus. What just happened? I looked at the kids and I was like run. It was the spur of the moment. Go get the holy water and salt you little fuck.
Speaker: I was like, you need to go to, you need Jesus. You need Jesus. Oh, you mean the pool guy? No, not Jesus. Jesus. No, it's, um, I, I don't know, man. I, I get a, I get a little, and summer's the same way. She's very protective of the kids. I get a little, little overbearing, little, little protective. I don't.
Speaker: Gotta get my point across, man. You gotta get your point across. Oh, yeah, definitely. Am I really gonna go kill their grandparents? No, I might punch your grandpa in the face, but I'm not gonna kill him. I wouldn't say I'm overprotective, but I'm more of... What's the word for it? I want him to be in line. Yeah. You know, know your role. You are 100 % a mama bear, baby.
Speaker: I said I'm a mama bear. She is man. She she she gets into mama bear my wife's my wife's like that with And she's southern so I mean it makes it even that more I gotta lock myself in the bedroom My wife my wife is half Italian half Mexican
Speaker: How the hell is that work well her dad's Italian No, well I've never met her dad There's a reason why But but when she gets angry she just goes full fucking Italian hmm, I get I get angry and and and I I
Speaker: start thinking sadistically. Yes. It's like, what could I really do to traumatize somebody? You know, summer summer goes into mama bear mode and it's like, oh, she's scary. And she's got her. When you and her fight with each other.
Speaker: How bad is it when you and summer fight with each other though? We honestly don't really fight. And if we do get into an argument, I, I feel like a giant piece of shit and apologize a million times. Or if I think I did something wrong, then I, I feel horrible. I'm such a, I'm such a bitch when it comes to her. My wife and I, my wife and I getting some knockdown dragouts, like it's, it's,
Speaker: like kids go to your room. They're going to throw down. I mean, yeah. Oh, we do fight. Yeah. But my my my wife being Italian Mexican, she's got the Latin fire in the Italian mafia accidents, a mafia attitude. And then I'm German Irish. So we we burned on worlds. Yeah. Yeah. Some are like I said, we do fight, but I turn into such a bitch.
Speaker: I become I become silent but I will say that She's never she's never done anything to you know, piss me off, but I know I've pissed her off a lot so What do you mean why are you mad I was just lighting a cigarette, you know, I'm sitting here and
Speaker: Nobody like you cheated on me. It was a fucking dream My wife and I got into it the other day she came home and and I have I have one trigger word and it's it's it's the word stupid and My wife knows it because you know, I have a learning disability and
Speaker: I have ADHD and and I I don't I I can't read can't talk apparently fucking read that we board we found that out the heart. Yeah. Well, I can't read out loud. I can't read out loud but but my whole life I've been like
Speaker: something called me stupid. Oh, it's war. And my wife will say something like what are you stupid? And I'm like, Oh, but the one thing, like my wife, when she gets angry, she will literally hit every trigger word she can. Yeah. And I'm the exact opposite. I will literally yell at you
Speaker: But I will never say anything that I would later regret. Yeah. But I've, I've yet to say something that I know would be a trigger word for her. But when we do, when we do, uh, when we do argue, it's over.
Speaker: fairly quickly it goes it goes real big real loud real fast and then just kind of dies off after about an hour or so it dies off and we're just like both like sorry we're stupid
Speaker: Oh yeah. Then we argue about who's at fault. I'm at fault. No, I'm at fault. The last time, the last time I went down to Tennessee to visit, we had, we had a, we had a pretty big fight. Um, but still ended in me feeling like a giant piece of shit and, and, and being a bitch and apologizing. Oh, I don't know. I always end up apologizing. But I, I,
Speaker: but I think it all comes down to my wife and I are both stubborn. Yeah, I I was in the wrong. There's like I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. It didn't really matter what I did. Yeah. But yeah, I shouldn't I shouldn't I shouldn't my beard Connor. Welcome to the to the show. No, it's almost the end. Yeah. Better late than never, I guess. But yeah, but
Speaker: Yeah, usually summer stubborn is a goddamn mule. And I'm stubborn too, to a certain degree, but I also, I think a lot of it, well, when... I usually just...
Speaker: Like I said, I just bitch out and it's like, yeah, I know I suck and I'm stupid. So, you know, well, usually, usually for us, it's usually the first 10 minutes, the usual first 10 minutes of an argument. I'm sitting there going, uh -huh. Uh -huh. Uh -huh. And that summer's gotta go back. Summer's gotta go pack and eat.
Speaker: She's got to go to Nashville tomorrow, and then Friday, they're heading out to Pigeon Forge for the weekend. Her and the little dude and his friend and her mom friend that she made. And when are you going up to Pigeon Forge? 28 days. Oh, I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I actually, I do. I am going to be going down a lot in Pigeon Forge, if you know what I mean.
Speaker: I do. I don't know if you can see it. I can't find my camera on my on my computer. Oh, I can't barely see anything. I don't know where the hell my goddamn put it in front of my face. There you go. It doesn't show. I can't see it. I can see it later when we when I watch the playback. But my my the view of you is literally the size of like my thumbnail. Yeah.
Speaker: And it's in reverse. Yeah. So right there, right down here at the bottom, there's a countdown.
Speaker: You get one of those countdowns like three months, four days, 32 hours, 17 minutes, 22 seconds. 28 days, 18 hours, 36 minutes. I get to see my pretty girl. And yes, like I said, I will be going down a lot.
Speaker: But what are you talking about, Connor? Connor's talking about crackers and pigeonforged. Interesting. So yeah, no, that's that is that is that's a that's a plus, because summer has a very, very high sex draft. Nice. I
Speaker: don't to a certain degree. Um, but that's, that's, that's just from my marriage. Uh, that's also an age thing, dude, because my wife and I are the same. No, my wife and I are the same. It's not an age thing. It's, it's, it's a lot to do with my ex -wife. So it's like a lot of, a lot of bad memories. No, no, it's just mental and, and, and, um, uh, subconscious behavior type. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: But um, yeah So that I don't like to good trust me Doesn't I can't think of anybody that I would know that doesn't like to Cut out before the October you little shit. I
Speaker: Tom said I was like 65. I feel it. Yeah, I feel it. I feel 65. Yeah. No. So, so, you know, we, we kind of, we, we even each other out real nice and there's usually a lot of adult, uh, interactions when we're together. Put it mildly. My balls are about five inches from dragging them around. That's not a lot. Sorry, mom, if you're listening to this.
Speaker: Don't message me message Jeff. Jeff told me in the pre -show warm up. He's like, all right, so we're going to talk about sex. We're going to talk about you going down. We're going to get as raunchy as we can. We're going to get nasty. I'm going to tell a story out some bitch from New York screaming my name. But like, I don't think your mom would appreciate that. Jeff is like, I don't give a goddamn. It's content.
Speaker: Well, I couldn't bitch out and not say anything after you told the embarrassing story about your hormones.
Speaker: I'm hot. I'm cold. Oh, oh my god. I can't even do it. I can't even. Chris is going through the change. It's your menopause. I'm a man. I'm fighting. I'm a woman.
Speaker: It's like that video I sent you. The one I put up on the Facebook, the guy comes in with, he's got that log. That guy is such a douchebag. He's so funny though. She's like, why? And he's like, because I'm a man. Yeah. I want to reach out to that guy and be like, I'm sending you an SDM shirt. What is SDM shirt? Don't worry about it. Just shut up and wear it. Just wear it. Trust me and wear it.
Speaker: Connor asked Connor asked me what SDM yesterday we were talking I was like he was a fan you little bitch What do you say when you told him he was like, oh yeah, you know He was proud of it as he should be oh, yeah
Speaker: Well, that about wraps it up, I guess. Yeah, I suppose it's about that time. Yeah, we can't do another three hour. That third hour.
Speaker: You sure you don't want to, you don't want to go in for another hour and 20 minutes of, uh, Brian Reynolds, Brian Reynolds and considering you sat and watched Deadpool two and a little nervous.
Speaker: if i do the other five minutes right stop i'm almost done uh... i was finished on my computer screen it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it
Speaker: the wish version of X actor. And I was like, not really. He's he does his own thing. He's really does his own thing. And the greatest thing about it is a lot of that back and forth between him and Ryan Reynolds is literally unscripted. Yeah, it's 100%. They got to that. They got to that part in the script. And they're like, What are we right? And they're like, Wow, we'll just
Speaker: Well, no, they they they had it scripted. They had it scripted and then TJ and TJ Miller and Ryan Reynolds just started riffing and and they were like, yeah, let's like like that that whole scene in Deadpool one.
Speaker: Wasn't even a part of the movie where they were doing that whole few minutes where they were doing all that that back and forth that wasn't even in the movie but it was so they've said that it was so so good and and so funny to watch that that wasn't a scene that they added into but a lot of them back and forths where those two are talking is I know I could never be a major actor in a comedy because I wouldn't be able to make through a scene like that and
Speaker: No, you almost died last week when I did ASMR. Oh my God, dude. I totally didn't see it coming either. Well, that was a great thing. I do. I've watched that video so many times. And the great thing is, is like, I get up and walk away and you can see my face. Like, where the fuck did he go? Yeah. You're talking about that. You just, did you just go blank stare at the camera?
Speaker: the the
Speaker: That's the comedic genius that I am. That's, that's, that's, you know, that's, that's the world I live in daily basis. That was like my boss today. He was like, he likes to fuck with people. And I told him, I was like, just so you know,
Speaker: He's from New York. I can dish it and take it out. He's from New York and he's a smart ass. And I was like, just so you know, I grew up in Thunderdome. So as quick as you think you might be, I'm 10 times quicker and there's no filter. He was like, I can dig it. And I was like, as long as you can, he's like, just be, you know, be cautious of where we are. And I'm like, no, there's a filter where like, I know where I am.
Speaker: If we're in a client's house and I know the people that are around me, but it's just you and me Oh, yeah, I'm gonna light you up like yeah, I was like lightning quick and in a hurry
Speaker: And I was like, I grew up with uncles that were smart asses and you had to be quick to survive. Oh yeah. Good. I was like, so just know that I may roast the shit out of you and I'll probably going to go for your soul and I'm going to reconsider your life decisions. I'll make you rethink that haircut.
Speaker: I'm just breaking your balls. At the end of the day, it's all love, baby. When you get to our age and you meet people like that, it instantly takes you back to high school. You're like, oh, I can bust this guy's balls and he can bust mine back. That's when it doesn't become a job, so to speak. You almost not quite look forward to going to work, but you're like,
Speaker: you're thinking about it at home going, Oh, I got one I'm gonna fuck him up with. And it's great because like, he's he knows he's a hobbit. I know. Right. And that's gonna be our go to he's gonna make your giant gourder. Yeah. He knows I'm a big dumb animal. And I also know he's a tiny little munchkin squirrel.
Speaker: blower. And we're gonna, that's gonna be our focal point. We're gonna, I mean, today, I can't even tell you how many comments or jokes we made about each other size. Oh, yeah. Like he tried to he tried to make fun of me because I couldn't get up into an attic because it was in a closet. And before you can even before you can even finish what he was saying, I was just like, I was just like, bang, back at him. And our customers, she started laughing
Speaker: Don't play with the master son. I'm older than you. I've been around the block a couple more times. Yeah, like I said, I mean, I had a boss down here that I could just
Speaker: when I was working for best day, he would, we would literally send shit back and forth through, through messenger while at work. And to the one point, my, my wife saw one of the messages. She's like, you could turn him in for that. I was like, no, he's busted my balls. He's not being serious. Yeah. It's all fun. You know, that's the thing. At the end of the day, it's all fun. Like I said, at the end of the day, it's all up. Yeah.
Speaker: Well, the, the funny one was, was, I forget what, how it came up, but for no reason whatsoever. He's like, Oh, I got this amazing video. You got to see. It turns out it was tranny porn. And I was like, damn it, dude. And I was like, what the, what the fuck? Yeah. That one still blows my mind.
Speaker: All right. Well, let's go ahead and wrap this up. Kill me some kids. Yeah. Tell they didn't go to bed when I told them. Hey, go get me some dinner. Yeah. I made chicken soup. I made the Salisbury steaks last night. So I'm going to. Oh, I'm jealous. I made wings last night. I deep fried. So many steaks. Nice. Salisbury steaks are like so cheap.
Speaker: But you get some corn and mashed potatoes to go with it. Oh yeah. Hungry man style. Yeah, man. How do you please a hungry man? He's so good. I'm broke as shit, but this is so good. My wife and I are going through the grocery store and she's like, what else do we need? And I was like,
Speaker: Hold on. And I walked over to, uh, the deli and I'm like, give me two kilos, a ham. And the lady's like, what are you serious? And my wife got times it behind me. He likes sandwiches.
Speaker: So much is delicious. And I'll tell you what, once I get all trained and stuff and give me a lunchbox, I, you know, I'll probably, you know, I'll get, throw me a few sandwiches in the night before I go to bed and throw them in the refrigerator. And I'll say, no, I can't do that. No, no, no, no, no. I gotta have my sandwiches. Like, well, I have to make it right before I walk out the door or else I won't eat it. Well, what you do is you, if you put like veggies or condiments or whatever on it. Uh -huh.
Speaker: You put them off to the side, so when you're at work, you can throw them on. That way, they don't get all soggy and gross. Trust me, I'm a professional sandwich maker. No, I get what you're saying, but I don't know. It's something about, uh, I don't know. Oh, can't do it. I don't know. Weird me out. I'm one of those guys that's like, I make a sandwich and then I eat it before I make my second one. Well, yeah, no, I'm usually like that if I'm at home, but if I'm going to work. And like I said, I'm a professional, that guy and a professional sandwich maker. Yeah.
Speaker: Trust me. I know I'm talking about, I didn't get this big for no reason. I think that's, that's where my wife yells at me. She's like, maybe you should stop eating sandwiches. You're getting a gut. I'm like, maybe you should watch your fucking mouth or I'm like, maybe you should be quiet. Cause I'm gonna make me another sandwich because I got, I got some over here cooking to feed an army and she's like,
Speaker: I don't think you had enough, but she brings me a plate of three pounds of food. I'm like, maybe I'm stuck. And she's like, no, you could eat some more. I got dessert out there, too. And I'm like, I'm going to die. But it's so delicious. I can't stop it. Oh, I did that. I made spaghetti.
Speaker: the other day and I made my own sauce. I cut up green tomatoes and green peppers and onion and tomato chunks and three cheeses and all this stuff and I cooked it up and it was so good. I'm eating more and more
Speaker: And my wife's like, you're still hungry. I said, no, I'm stuffing more in my mouth. And she's like, then why are you eating? That's how it is with summer. Oh my gosh, she's such a great, it's just like, I'm full and I don't want to, like, I don't want to eat anymore, but I can't stop fucking eating.
Speaker: And then we wonder why we're 300 pounds a piece. You say that as a joke, but your boys pushing getting close to 300 pounds, but also I'm sticks too. So I'm not, I'm not, 300 pounds doesn't look bad on you. Yeah. I'm not fortunate. Doesn't look good.
Speaker: Yeah, I carry it a little bit better. If I weighed 300 pounds, I'd be as big as round as I am tall. Yeah, you'd be all four foot two of you. Four foot two, 300 pounds. Yeah. You'd look like a bitch from... I'm breaking into a Burger King. Grab me some dry oil. I'm going to show by myself what I... Funny story, I happen to have a news article about that.
Speaker: down in Cancun, Mexico, man breaks into local tacos. Oh, that's the, that's the big danger down here for me. The street tacos. Oh God, I love them. The street food is so fucking good, man. It's on every corner. Yeah, I'll tell you what, years and years and years ago, I used to work security at an apartment complex. And it was a big apartment complex.
Speaker: And the front, the front part of the apartment complex, we call it little Mexico for obvious. And, and, um, the middle part was little Somalia. And then the back half was just trash. Yeah. White trash. Yeah. White trash. It was just trash. Like we hated going back there because we knew there was always going to be an issue, but we worked, we worked second shift.
Speaker: So we'd go in about two o 'clock and the Mexican families, there was one Mexican family that literally lived in five buildings. An entire family took up five buildings up front.
Speaker: And they took care of us, they watched out for us. So we'd get in at two o 'clock and we'd be in the office. And once we did the show - They're like, Christi, you want some more tamales? Yeah, no, no, seriously. My partner was this little Puerto Rican cat. And they would come over about 2 .15 and bring us lunch. And it was so good. And then usually around seven, eight o 'clock that night,
Speaker: If we weren't already down in the area, they'd come up to the office, find us, and bring us dinner. They made sure that we ate. And then there was like, oh, you know, we're good. We still got left Irish for lunch. We'll take it home. It was like, okay. Let me wrap it in tin foil for you. Fuck. And they would. They made it all up. Yeah.
Speaker: I mean, but bring back my Tupperware. Yeah. Every single day. But man, like I said, they they they looked out for us. They took care of us and not only just feeding us, but, you know, shit was going down or whatever. They they they were right there. They're like, nah. Oh, yeah. But it was cool. But yeah, I mean, it was so good. Oh, my God. It was so good. Well, that's the danger. That's the danger for me living in Mexico. It's like, God,
Speaker: Yeah. Like I don't go to McDonald's and Burger King very often. Yeah. But when I do it's because I've had tacos for six months straight and I'm like, I can't eat another taco. Okay. Maybe one more, you know, but they, they have, uh, the, the tacos out past or holy shit, dude, throw a little lime on that. And they're, they're, they're like, they're the size of like, uh, the silver dollar pancakes. You know, they're not very big.
Speaker: and you don't order one, you order like 10. Yeah, that's just dangerous. Oh my God, dude. A little hot sauce on it, a little lime on it, onion, cilantro. Fuck, I'm done. We found a place that they were 50 cents US, it was like seven pesos for two. Yeah, I'd go in there and be like, give me 15 to go. And what do you guys want?
Speaker: Yeah. Oh man. And they do. They did. They were the one place that did flour tortillas as opposed to corn tortillas. I don't like a corn tortilla. I love a flour tortilla. Like you read about. I'm not one of those people. I don't care. I like them both to be honest with you. I like flour. I can eat a flour tortilla by itself. Just like, like it's a chip corn tortillas. I cannot do it. My wife can. I can't.
Speaker: too bland. Yeah, I don't. I mean, because, well, I've heard people say that, but at the end of the day, there's so much other shit on there that it doesn't matter if you're too disciplined or not. Well, no. When it's a taco, yeah, I don't care.
Speaker: Uh, we'll get in the car and we'll be going to like playa. Well, before we go to playa, we'll stop and pick up, you know, half kilo ham, half kilo cheese, and a kilo of fucking tortillas. And my wife be in the passenger seat going, you want another? Yes, ma 'am. But, uh, exactly. But.
Speaker: Uh, we usually buy two types of tortillas For that for that occasion if it's cooked i'm fine, but if it's dry like that, give me flour Yeah, like I said, I I don't I don't care either way because You know at the end of the day, you're just like it's food, right? I could eat it It's edible. It's not gonna kill me. Uh, you got burger in there. You got give me two You got some veggies you got some
Speaker: You got some veggies and some cheese and some sour cream and whatever. I was so ignorant when I came down here, I thought everything was going to be like Taco Bell. Man, was I wrong. Dummy. I've never even been down there and I know better. Well, the funny thing is I also pictured Mexico like the three amigos.
Speaker: Because I base everything in my life of a movie. I'm like, it's gonna be like this for you. I'm gonna roll in with a car and be a fucking kink dick. I knew it wasn't exactly like that. But you know, I was like, you know, in the mentality, so to speak. But I was in for a rude awakening, driving to Mexico City. I drove to Mexico City is the biggest city in the world. And I'm like, fuck, you know, this place is huge.
Speaker: I can't do this, mama. Oh my god. That place, that, I love Mexico City because the food is so good there, but it's too big. It's way too big. I hate big areas like that, but the food, oh my gosh, they have like, you can buy sandwiches that come tortas, you know? Tortas the size of a steering wheel that's like four inches thick.
Speaker: And you're like, nah, it's like, how much is this? It's a dollar. And you're like, okay, how big is it? And then they show you're like, Jesus Christ, how do you make money? Like we sell a shit. Yeah. Well, there's this one guy, he, he gets, he gets, uh, like a four inch wide baguette.
Speaker: that is easily a foot and a half long and he'll put like nine hot dogs in and everything. You were, you were talking about that. Yeah. Oh my God. I'm still trying to find that place and get a picture of it because I'd like to see that in all honesty. Well, uh, somebody, somebody sent me a video of it and I was like, fuck. And I gotta see if he could, he still got that video because I'll get him to send it to me and be like, holy shit. It just looks amazing.
Speaker: The last time we were in Mexico City, we took like three Ubers and a subway just so I could go to Wendy's. The only Wendy's in Mexico is in Mexico City.
Speaker: There's still three of them. Yeah. And I love me some Wendy's, man. You know, a good Frosty? Fuck yes. Frosty and fries, man. Dip your fries in that Frosty. For like 10 years, I've been telling my wife, oh, fucking Wendy's is amazing. That is awesome. We get to Mexico City, and I'm talking to her aunt, and I'm like, so where's the Wendy's? And she's like, oh, it's way on the other side of town. I said, well, when do we leave, man?
Speaker: And we finally got over there on like the second to the last day and they're closing in 10 minutes and I'm like, oh, give me the left side of the menu. You was about to be that guy down in Florida. Oh yeah. Because the whole time, you know, it was raining. The Uber couldn't find us where we were standing because we're kind of underneath a bridge and it's like six roads stacked on top of each other and shit.
Speaker: And the Uber actually called us at one point and says, yeah, I'm going to cancel for you guys because I don't know where you are. And we're like, fuck. So we had to walk like a block and a half for another Uber to find us. And I'm like, we got five minutes to get there. We got there. And I was like, I need a frosty. I need a biggie and this. And they're like, yeah, we have no frosties. Sorry, shut down for the night. I was like, you better turn that motherfucker back on. I didn't get my frosty. I was so pissed.
Speaker: but I did get my biggie. I was happy. Their fries aren't that great, but they're, they're, they're biggie, biggie burger thing. That thing's awesome. Yeah. The great thing that I, and I don't know if they still do it or not, but I do like Wendy's fries, but one of the best things that, that Wendy's ever did for their fries was start using sea salt instead of regular salt. Now the whole thing is that Wendy's does do that. I'd like to go.
Speaker: bring Dave Thomas back to life and slap him in the face. Just smack him around. Even though it's not his fault. There's those goddamn magic coke machines that has the touch screen on it. Oh, okay. Because everything tastes like cherry coke. Everything tastes like cherry coke. Because it all comes out the one nozzle. Yeah.
Speaker: Everything smells and tastes exactly like cherry coke and it was like, you're the only fucking fast food. Yeah, I don't really, I don't like coke to begin with, but I love, I will, now I love a coke out of a fountain, like fountain coke. I do like that. It's a little bit more syrupy. Yeah, you know, McDonald's and Wendy's and whatever, they have the coke product.
Speaker: But it was like you were the only goddamn fast food planet or fast food restaurant on the planet that does this and there's a reason for it because it's Well, it's like down here the coke out of a bottle or out of a can or whatever tastes different than it does up there Well, that's because they still make pop down there with real sugar. Yeah If I want if I want American style coke
Speaker: I go to Carl's Jr. Now the problem with Carl's Jr., it's like $12 for a meal per person. Yeah, it's super expensive at Carl's. We had Carl's in South Carolina.
Speaker: And, but the Coke is, is, you know, sugar, corn syrup, sugar, Coke. So it's like, nah, my wife hates it. She's like, it tastes like medicine. I'm like, yeah. Well, like, I think it's Costco. There's some place up here, and I want to say Costco, that sells the Mexican version of Coke.
Speaker: right or what the why don't they don't call it Mexican because well they they call it original a real sugar real sugar they call it something it's like Spanish or something to do with but they don't call it Mexican because that's not South American Coke even though that's what it is you know it's like yeah yeah but but uh they do taste totally different but you can buy Pepsi started doing that a couple years ago where you can buy Pepsi tastes like ass down here
Speaker: Yeah, you can buy, I can go to Speedway or any, any, any gas station. They've got regular Pepsi or regular Mountain Dew. And then they've got Mountain Dew made with real sugar. Mountain Dew made with real Pepsi. You can't get Mountain Dew down here unless you want to spend like $4 a can. But, uh, one of them, I can't remember, I just buy the regular, but one of them I really liked with the real sugar.
Speaker: And the other one is horrible. I think it's the Mountain Dew with real sugar that I like. I guarantee it's the Mountain Dew. Because Pepsi down here, I'd rather take a beating with a bulking hammer to my head than drink Pepsi. But I don't buy the real sugar. I just buy the regular stuff. I live in a first world country. I don't live in a third world country.
Speaker: We do have to wrap up cuz I can hear my kids still playing and they're supposed to be in bed like 20 minutes ago The plastic jump rope how it works Yeah
Speaker: Oh, no, that shit gets my shins every once in a while. Get back in, baby. But yeah, we do need to wrap this up, because I need to eat. I got to eat, and I'm going to... Yeah, I haven't eaten either. I'm going to watch some Doom Patrol while I eat my dinner. Some what? Dinner. Oh, yeah. That's what Summer says all the time, so now she's got me saying it. I kind of... Sounds cool. All right, wrap us up, sir.
Speaker: Well, it's been another show. It's been another show. It's been another show of bullshit that we didn't get to anything. We played on it outside of my hemorrhoids. I like talking about lots of sex. Jeff's obsession with training porn and feeding our kids. Yes.
Speaker: But either way, it was a dumpster fire ever show, but we had fun. Thank you guys for listening. Thank you guys for watching the live show. Appreciate y 'all. Appreciate everybody. And you know, we always forget I mentioned this and I'm going to make it a point Saturday to spit this out at the beginning and the middle and at the end and just randomly like we almost need like an egg timer. Yeah. When just talking about cars, I'm going to break and go,
Speaker: Oh, by the way, if you're not already, feel free to follow us. So if you guys aren't already, follow us on Facebook, Instagram, Tic Tac, all at Nonsense School Nonsense. Also make sure you follow us on Spotify at Nonsense School Nonsense. So you can get every single episode of this if you so inclined to torment yourself. And if you guys like what you hear,
Speaker: with the exception of the dumpster fire that it is, do us a favor, share it. Yeah, sure. Definitely share it out there. Let other people know because that's the one thing holding us back as we, yes, we have fans, but we always can use more. More. Give me more. And like I said, you know, if you, if you use this to torture yourself, if you're a masochist masochist masochist masochist or say that.
Speaker: or if you have six girls locked in your basement and you live in Cleveland and you need to torture them, well, we're here, guys. Seriously, thank you, guys. We'll see you hopefully Saturday. Saturday. Yeah, we'll be back. I don't have anything going on this weekend. I don't think I do.
Speaker: You very rarely have anything going on, but again, thanks for listening. Make sure you follow us on social media and follow us on Spotify. Let's, you know, this would be great if it gave us a countdown so you could, you could finish. I know. Countdown is out because it's going.
Speaker: Wasting days and sleeveless nights And I can't wait to see you again I finally spent my time waiting on your call
Speaker: I need you by my side to tell me it's alright Cause I don't think I can take anymore Is this love that I'm feeling? Is this the love that I've been searching for? Is this love or am I dreaming?
Speaker: Cause it's really gotta work
Speaker: Strongly day by day And I can't wait to see you again So I can hold you in my arms Is this love that I'm feeling? Is this a love that I've been searching for? Is this love
Speaker: or am i dreaming this must be love because it's really
Speaker: Is this love that I'm feeling? Is this a love that I've been searching for? Is this love, or am I dreaming? This must be love, cause it's really gotta
