Transcript
Speaker: If I had to be completely honest with myself, I'm tired.
Speaker: I'm tired. It's not a physical tired. It's a very, you know, it's in the soul. It's like I'm fucking tired. I'm tired of going through this shit. I'm tired of... tired of everything not working out. And I'm just like, I fucking tried. And it's a... I can't not lie and say, it's not a, it's not like you don't want to live kind of thing. It's more of a, if God were sitting across from me right now.
Speaker: there would be a part of me that would just want to go up to him and say, listen, I'm done. I'm done. I'm not. I can't do this anymore. I'm just, I'm fucking physically and mentally spent and I'm done. And it's a, it's a silent battle too. Um, and it's a, it's a battle kind of hide from the world and from the people we love and the people we want to love or want to love us because
Speaker: Who wants a broken person? You know, it's like, if they knew, like if the people in your life knew how broken we were, like, would they stay? And then that raises the question of like, how do I fix this? Can you fix this? I don't know. I can't hide myself
Speaker: I don't expect you to understand I just hope I can't explain What it's like to be a man It's a lonely room And they don't care about what you know It's not about how you feel But what you provide inside that home
Speaker: Amen is what you make it, you can't always live up to expectations you try to please everybody while you struggle so you fake it and end up out of balance compromising situations as a good man
Speaker: and do everything he could, man You might find yourself feeling all alone Inside a house you built that you don't recognize as home And that's what my daddy told me, and I'll tell my son the same Now that I'm older, I relate and I actually feel his pain He never cried, he might've lied, but he did not complain And he said, son, one day you'll have to do the same I'll get emotional when I stop and think and I look around
Speaker: Beyond the county lines of my small town I think about all the men out there who feel like I do now Who are screaming on the inside but won't ever make a sound
Speaker: keep fighting as a man our sun is our horizon and our fathers actions play a role and we end up like them so they can't let us see them hurt cause we'll embody what they do and start a generational curse no wonder most men are so depressed all the things that they can't express they go to war get thrown on the shelf and go back
Speaker: Then grab that bottle and ask for help Try to pull themselves out of hell Then fall back down and then realize That they gon' have to do it themselves It's the circle of life as a man you provide They don't know what you're worth till the day that you're dying That's when they start crying Then move on to a magic confiding
Speaker: It's not about how we feel or what we feel Inside that hole Inside that hole
Speaker: Welcome, welcome. What's going on everybody? Happy Thursday. It's Thor's day. It's not Monday. It's not our normal night for men caring for men. Uh, unfortunately, uh, the universe and Monday kicked all of our asses. So we had to do some rescheduling, uh, to get to show up for you guys this week. However, welcome to men caring for men. It's the men's mental health show. Uh, as always, we got Jerry Vichy in the building.
Speaker: Hey, Connor's hanging out. And as usual, as soon as the show starts, his wife calls him 47 times. He's trying to do a show here, lady.
Speaker: I'm good. I'm always here hosting this this little shindig. We do have special guests in the building tonight. We got one half so far of talking shit podcast. Our guy Mark, you guys have probably seen him on nonsensical nonsense hanging out with us a time or two. Mark, what's going on with you? Not much. Waiting for Brian. Yeah, Brian will be joining us here soon. Hopefully, hopefully we'll also have
Speaker: Comedian Bryce Tucker joining us as well Down the road. Hopefully he'll be able to get in here If you guys are not already go ahead and check out the socials. We are on everything Facebook Instagram Twitter and tick tock Show is live typically on Mondays on Facebook YouTube and twitch right around the 7 o 'clock time And you can listen to replays anytime anyplace
Speaker: wherever you listen to podcasts at, all at Nonsense School Nonsense, just to do under the Nonsense School Network.
Speaker: or you can go to bio .link slash nonsensical nonsense and get all those links for all that social media there. If you guys be so kind, go give us a follow, give us a like, and give us a share while you're at it. Go ahead and run on over and check out our guys at Talking Shit. S -H -T -T -T is how shit is spelled there on Facebook, YouTube, and you guys are on Instagram, TikTok. TikTok. That's about it. I mean, every once in a while we put something on Spotify or
Speaker: you know, something like that, but. And they typically do their shows live on Thursdays and they're on YouTube, Facebook live. So yeah, originally, originally we were supposed to do this on Monday. I was, you know, I was okay with that. And then, you know, we had to postpone it. The other half. There's the other half of talking shit. The best app of talking shit is here. Ladies and gentlemen, you're welcome. I love how Connor just immediately looks down at him.
Speaker: Well, that's the way you're supposed to. Oh, is it? Yeah, you know, I look at Brian, you know, like this and normally we have it the other way, but, you know, I like that. I like the way that this is set up to how we have to look down on you. This is the proper way to have it.
Speaker: Wow. This doesn't look right. We got to move Brian up and then move me down. Then what the hell? Where's Steven up there? See? You are going to get confused. Thank you, though. But yeah, originally when we first started talking about the show, I told you guys, I was like, man, I don't want to do it on the 21st. And I told you guys why. And I was like, and then after
Speaker: We had to postpone it on Monday. I was like, Oh, fuck it. Let's just realize today is the 21st. My bad dude. No, I'm the one that chose to remember. I said, okay, let's do it Thursday. I knew it was, I knew what was going on. I knew my head was going to be a little, you know, out there, but you know what? What's the place to be for that? It's good. Yeah. Yeah. My bad man. I didn't even think about it. And you told me and I was like, and now you just said that and I'm like, Oh,
Speaker: But you're right, you did say we do it today. We're taking over your guys' airtime for tonight, but I wanted to make sure you get your links up there. Yeah, we're live on ours, so that's okay. Yeah, unfortunately, like I said, Monday,
Speaker: really did a number on the men came from in show uh Jarvis's wife was out Jarvis's wife was sick and he threw his back out Connor said he was sick uh Saturday following the Monday
Speaker: And then I was at work Monday. I got up and I was excited for Monday. You know, so I was like, typically I drag my ass out of bed on Monday and I'm like, Oh, it's Monday. I jumped right up out of bed. I was excited. I was ready. Got to work about two hours into being at work without being too graphic. My stomach just felt like shit. And I spent the rest of the day just dry heaving. And it was just like,
Speaker: It just, it was just, I don't, I, you know, I don't want to, I'll spare you all the details, but it was gross and it was extremely painful. So by the time I got home, I was talking to Mark and I said, well, Connor, I haven't talked to, but Jarvis is out. I'm feeling like shit, but I'm going to try to power through. And Mark was like, no.
Speaker: sick let's just not worry about it because he said he had a bad day monday as well and i was like all right well we'll go ahead and uh post but and then Bryce's son was sick too so you know there was that it was just like damn the universe said not today fellas we are not doing this today no way no how and we still don't know if Bryce is going to show up or not i think uh i think he said he'd probably try to jump in if
Speaker: If his son was feeling better, so I'd messaged him earlier. I just 10 minutes ago and said, did you get a link? I sent him the link. Yeah, he's got the link, so he'll be able to jump in if he'd like to jump in.
Speaker: But I want to, I want to start the show. Like we always do. I want to start. I want to ask the guys that we got guests in the building. So I'll start with them. Uh, we always start the Monday night show, just doing like a, like a weekly bro check type deal. I want to check in and see how everybody's doing. I'm going to start with, I'm going to put Brian on the spot because he likes to talk. How are you doing, Brian? How was your week last week? How's your week been going this week? How's everything going in your world, man? Uh, last week was pretty good. Uh, this week.
Speaker: It was, I don't know today just was, I was, we were off, dude. I was so far off. Um, it's, it's really, it's really hard because sometimes I want to slap people. I don't know if that's a, that's a good thing or a bad thing. Um, I don't know my, as far as the job portion of it goes, I am still.
Speaker: stressed about things that I need to do to be where I was last year. And I'm just not there. And I'm thinking that maybe it's time for me to move on and let these guys do what they need to do so that I can go do what I need to do. It sucks. It sucks because I make really good money doing what I do. And I have a good time doing it.
Speaker: But when, I guess when the job stops being fun, right? It is when you have to, you have to look at yourself and you have to say, is this worth my, is it worth my, um, my wellbeing? Because I feel like it's, it's really doing a number on me. Yeah. You know, you gotta, you gotta kind of step back and take a look and, you know, ask yourself, is this.
Speaker: Is this worth my time and energy? Am I putting too much energy into something that's not rewarding at the end of the day? I totally get that, man. I totally understand that. I'm sure we've all been there at some point. I mean, I know I've had jobs that
Speaker: you know, how when I worked down and when I lived down in Charleston, I loved working at Orkin, but I had to add that conversation with myself to the point where I had to come into the office and sit down and tell my managers that I wanted to talk to them and sit down and have a come to Jesus conversation with them because it was starting to take a toll, not only on me physically, but everything else mentally that I had going on. That was just adding on to it at the time. And I mean, it was literally, you know, it wasn't,
Speaker: I'm not here for your politics or your BS. This is exactly how things are going to be or I'm walking.
Speaker: And they said, we'll do whatever we need to do to make it right by end. And I was, I was grateful for that because I love the job. I love the company. You know, I, I still, you know, I, I didn't stay with them when I came back home to Ohio, but that was more of their branch up here. Uh, you know, I still won't say a bad word about the company. And anytime somebody says, Hey, I need pest control. Orkin's the first thing that I say, Hey, call working a little bit expensive, but you're going to get the best guys. So totally understand that man. And sometimes we.
Speaker: We got to do that. We got to do what's best for us, not only us, but also our family. Yeah. And that's, and you know, there was a guarantee out there for me where I could say, all right, well, I'm moving on because I have this guarantee that, you know, the hard part about it is, is I have something, but it's not a guarantee. You know what I mean? It's I can do something else in, and probably alleviate some of my stress, but there's no guarantee, you know? And that's what, and that's what scares me though. Do it.
Speaker: I have to listen to that guy. I mean, take it from the guy that does the Wookiee only fans. Okay. He makes good money off of it. I would buy those.
Speaker: I don't even wash them after a long hard day's work. My feet picks are up at only feet .com. Mark, how's everything going in your world? You know, how was last week? How's this week going for you? How's how you doing, man? Last week was great. This week was great for the most part until today. Today's a hard day. Today's a hard day for me. And not only was it, would it be my grandfather's 98th birthday?
Speaker: who passed away two years ago. Today's also the anniversary date of one of my really good friends who passed away. I've known I knew her for over 30 years. She was a great friend. She's the only girl that ever punched me in the eye, make my eye bleed. And still, I didn't get mad at her. Sounds like I did date her for a little while. Yes. Like, I mean,
Speaker: she became a better friend. And, uh, you know, one of those saying is that, you know, she'd do anything that I wanted just about, um, honors, like, sounds like a good friend. And I was like, Oh, tell me more. But she makes sandwiches. Yeah. She makes good. Uh, but yeah, it was a little hard today.
Speaker: But I, I talked to her family and stuff and it made it a little bit better. That's good. You know, uh, yeah, like I said, I totally forgot about today and what, you know, and the date, but like I said, I'm glad you're here, man. And in all honesty, I knew the date. I knew the date and I'm the one that picked it. Otherwise I could have said it could have been Wednesday. It could have been, you know, Tuesday.
Speaker: I don't know if Connor would have been feeling better by Tuesday. Steven's back was a little bit better by Tuesday, but I could have picked Tuesday even, but I chose Thursday. I said, screw it. It gives me a different outlook and gives me something to do. Yeah. And it gives you the opportunity to, you know, anything that you want to, you know,
Speaker: It's so corny to say, and I'm not a big fan of the phrase, but it is what it is. This has become a safe place. I've been shocked that these two gentlemen beside me, how much they've opened up and how much they've talked about things on here, never expected it in a million years. So, yeah. For what I've known about Steven, it takes a lot for him to open up, but once he opens up, it comes out.
Speaker: I've known Steven first, what, six years now. Yeah. And it's been, you know, I've seen him up and down, you know, and I've seen him at his vulnerable state. I've seen him, you know, where he wanted to kill somebody. So I've seen Mark on drugs. That's besides the point. You also see me drunk.
Speaker: You got a good country heavy metal song here. I've only known Jarvis for a few months, but he's a roller coaster ride. He's a lot to handle, but I mean that in a good way. Jarvis is my guy. I knew that from Jump Street when we had him on as a guest on the show.
Speaker: I was like, this is a really cool kid, and it's been cool getting to know him even more. Speaking of Jarvis, how you doing, man? How's everything going in your world? Oh, other than my back being totally fucked up on Monday. So Saturday, I told you I was at my wife's mom's birthday party, or 60th. And everything was going good, all that. Came back home, jumped on, talked with you guys for a little bit.
Speaker: just dealing with some mental shit that day too. So I wasn't didn't stay for very long. Uh, Sunday morning, my wife wakes up. She's like, I'm not feeling too well. I'm like, okay, you can sleep in the bed tonight. Well, then come Monday morning, she's 100 % not feeling good. And I can't move. And so I, I knew I couldn't scream for Alyssa to come get me off the couch. So what'd I do?
Speaker: I pretty much rolled, almost yeeted my computer into the wall and crawled to the bathroom where I used the tub to kind of like get me up. And so it, it was a shit show. And finally I was like, I just sat in the tub for like, seemed like five minutes and I'm like,
Speaker: Either I'm paralyzed or my body's just saying, Hey, just stay here for right now. You're going to be fine. And then stop hanging out with me. Yeah, dude, you fucking to, you put the expression road hard and put away what to a whole new level there, Connor. What expression road hard and put away what you never heard of that before. Damn.
Speaker: But then all sudden it start my back started loosening up and I was like, okay, you know and Took a quick shower had put what hot water made sure it hit me on my back and then it started loosening up more To the point where I could start walking normally and I didn't look like fucking Quasimodo from hunchback Notre Dame
Speaker: Or mark from uh, willy wonka and the fucking chocolate factory. Oh my god, bro. Love you mark. Love you mark. Love you mark. Love you mark. I was going to behave myself and not say anything bad about this shit. Oh, bullshit. Here's my recommendation man. It cost me, well, it would cost me if I didn't have the VA, it would cost me $55 every time I went to the uh, chiropractor.
Speaker: PowerPractor I went to yesterday does a world of works dude on your back. Oh, I definitely need to pack your back. Doesn't yours also do like electronic happy endings? No, no, I have to so I have compressed I have compressed disc in my back my spine.
Speaker: So they have to separate my spine because it gets compressed all the fucking time. So they put me on this table. It's like a torture table where they strap me in. It looks like a giant diaper. And then they hooked me to a fucking, uh, to this metal cable that slowly just pulls the table apart. And while it's pulling the table apart, I'm just locked to one side of it. So it pulls that part of me apart. So it separates my spine. See, I'd be afraid of that because of my hip.
Speaker: both my hips. So if you go to a chiropractor, the first thing they're going to do is they're going to do an x -ray on you to make sure they're not going to mess you up. They know what they're doing. I mean, that's their job. I got told that if I got an adjustment that I would walk in and I would, I would wheel myself out.
Speaker: So Connor's in an opposite direction. Other than that, you know, I've been doing okay. I felt so bad for Monday. I was like, I can tough it out if I have to, but I was like,
Speaker: Look, nobody showed up on Monday, so you're good. I know. Nobody's mad at you. We're not mad at you. We're not upset. I wasn't worried about that. I just. I did have a conversation in private about what we were going to do. Here we go. I'm going to get fired again. He's a brand new employee. Motherfucker. OK. Brand new employee that's bailed out. How many of the fucking co -hosts on this show?
Speaker: When Connor had puked five times in one show and still showed up just saying just about the puke now he's like I'm done listening to Connor What's going on man? What's going on in your world? What's going on?
Speaker: It's been a good week, actually. My pain's been great. I've been walking without my boot and it doesn't fucking hurt. We won't talk about my back. We're making some progress on my house. Hopefully close on that here within the next week. Do you get a hold of that priest for the exorcist? I'm not fucking with that dude. He's so fucking stupid.
Speaker: I get some breeze to show up at my house and bless the house. It'll be all right. You've been living it for you. Listen, 20 bucks, you can hire a fucking on the street breacher, bro. Or you just go in there and pop some confetti. Good vibes. All right, we're good. There you go. The spirit say get out and he's like, bitch, I own you now. I've got paperwork.
Speaker: You get out. You've got to watch me masturbate in the bathroom every day. Who's really trapped? And now I didn't go call my therapist. I stayed in the corner watching him going, I wish I could leave. The ghost is crying and wanking at. Please go to the priest. Keep fucking with me at night. See what happens.
Speaker: Sometimes I regret the decision to ask you guys how your weeks are going. But yeah, no, it's been a it's been a it's been a good week. We've made some good progress in the right direction. I've had moments good and bad and. Yeah. Thanks, it's good to see everybody's doing pretty good for the most part. You know, we're all going to have our hiccups in our hiccups throughout the week. That's why I like to start the show just by checking on you guys and seeing how you guys are going. I will say.
Speaker: Um, one of my big stressors was eliminated the other day. Um, I haven't really spoke too much on it, but the company that I'm currently with, I will no longer be employed by coming to 31st. Uh, basically they hit me with, uh, with an Okeydoke and, uh, kind of slapped me in the face. Uh, been with him for almost two years now and, uh, you know,
Speaker: Didn't have many, didn't have any complaints from my, you know, I work in property management, uh, quote unquote maintenance, whatever, where I was at my buildings and properties that I had my, my tenants were happy. They loved me. I got a call on a Friday afternoon. It said effective Monday. You're no longer on these properties. You're now on another property, which added about 25 minutes to my commute and it's in downtown Columbus, which.
Speaker: I'm not a big fan of driving in Columbus or driving to Columbus. It's obviously, it's a big city, but I love the area that I'm in. I'm down in the arena district. My buildings are right across the street from the white arena where the blue jackets play. On the other side of us is our minor league baseball team. So I'm in a good area. I love my buildings. I love my tenants, but my first day there I was informed that
Speaker: our company is backing out of their contract. And when their contract is up, I'm no longer employed by them, which I felt was kind of a slap in the face because then a couple of days later, I'm in a company meeting, because I was told they didn't have any place to transfer me to. And I find out we have two empty buildings with no technicians in them. And they're still hiring technicians like crazy. So in a matter of a week, this company, in my opinion, slapped me in the face three times.
Speaker: And basically just shit all over me. So I'm in panic mode, freak out mode. Cause I know I got to the end of this month and I don't know what's going to go on. And I'm kind of stuck in limbo because there's a good chance that when the board of the building I'm in decides on the new company, the new company is going to not only take me on, but also my property manager. She was in the same boat. I meant both of us kind of stuck in limbo, kind of.
Speaker: Do we freak out? Do we not freak out? Do we go in full -on panic mode? What the hell are we doing? We don't know. You did a backup plan. Yeah, and I didn't want to go start putting applications out and doing interviews and stuff just on the small chance that this new company will take us on. That's a small chance though, right?
Speaker: Well, it was quote unquote small chance. I mean, everybody kept reassuring us. Look, when this happens nine times out of 10, they keep the existing people in. They offer them jobs because they don't want to have to hire somebody else and train somebody else. I'm still relatively new, but it's a simple building. It's their basic buildings. Nothing crazy. Nothing. I mean, I've had bigger, you know, I've taken care of bigger buildings, bigger properties. Uh, this is pretty basic. I mean, this is a walk in the park for me at the end of the day.
Speaker: However, the board agreed on a new company and the day that they signed the paperwork, my property manager and myself both got a phone call from the new company. And they basically said, well, the gentleman that I spoke to, he said, Chris, I met you when we came in and toured the property. I got to talk to you. I really like you. You know what you're doing. We're really excited that we got to meet you.
Speaker: But before I say what I want to say, I got to ask you a question. Do you have any intentions on leaving? I said, and I told him, I said, I love the building. The tenants I've got to meet are great. I love the area. I'm looking forward to the spring and summer down here. I said, my only negative is the drive. But outside of that, I don't plan on going anywhere if you guys want me to stick around. I said, however, there's the issue with money because I make X amount of money right now.
Speaker: And I can't take any less. And he was like, first and foremost, we want you on the team. We don't want you to go anywhere. We want you to stay. And don't worry about the money. More than likely, we're going to get you more money. So I was like, let's fucking go. So that was finally like, that like weight lifted off of my chest was great. That was a great way to start my week out.
Speaker: I've been kind of riding that high because now, you know, I've been there almost two months and like my property manager, her and I were talking today and she's like, I kind of feel like an asshole. She's like, because I didn't show you the building. I didn't.
Speaker: you know, like do the things I should have done for you coming in. And I said, I totally get it. Because like I told you, I wasn't starting like this projects that I want to do, because this is my building. And I want my, I want like my, my storage area set up the way I want it. I want my office and everything like that. I said, but I wasn't starting anything.
Speaker: just for, I wasn't going to do shit just for somebody else to come in here. So, you know, I've just kind of been here and she's like, yeah, that's kind of how I've been too. Just kind of been here, you know, just, we almost feel like, like we were ghosts in the building. We were there and I would do the things I had to do, you know, but outside of that, it was a bare minimum because I didn't want to start anything or do anything until I knew for sure if I was staying. So today we got to have that conversation where it was like,
Speaker: Both of us were just like, okay, a weight's been lifted. We know we're not going anywhere. Now we can start moving forward to the future. And I told her, I said, this is my game plan at the end because I'm off all next week. I said, when I come back after my vacation, um, quote unquote vacation. Uh, I said, this is my, uh,
Speaker: this my my my my plan moving forward what I want to do and start working on she's like I love it she's like I've been the guy that was here before you I tried to do that for two years with him and he wouldn't do it and she's like that makes me excited because she was she was afraid that I was going to leave she didn't want me to leave you know I have
Speaker: The tenants all knew that I was coming before I was coming. They were excited because they all got to look at my resume and see my resume. So they were excited for me. This new company seen my resume before they met me. So they were excited to meet me. And it's just like, I'm in a place where everybody's like, they were excited for me to get there and they're excited for me to be there.
Speaker: And now she, and then she was like, you know, I was terrified not only of not having a job, but if they did make us the offer that you weren't going to stay because I finally have a good maintenance guy in the building that I know that I can rely on and trust and everything. What's going on, Ben? What's going on? Geez. Thanks brother. Appreciate it, Chris. Uh, so yeah, just like a huge, just wait. And now being able to plan for the future and move forward, it's, it's, it's, it's really.
Speaker: kind of just even though I got other stuff that I got to deal with this week that's way in on me or next week. But well, I'll get through that too. It's just that was one thing that was lifted. It was just like, Oh my God. Like, you know, I hated, it was almost being like in purgatory at the end of the day. Cause I just, I didn't know if I was coming or going, I didn't know what was going to happen. And.
Speaker: It's like, I've gotten accustomed to, you know, making a certain amount of money. So the fact that they were like, don't even worry about anything. No, that's, listen, at least you have that good rolling into this upcoming, I mean, dude, we're getting ready to roll into April. Yeah. And, you know, things are,
Speaker: Things are going to happen, dude, right? So hopefully that happens for a lot of us, though. And I'm in that same situation. That's why I said the stress of the job, dude. It's literally the stress of the job. It drives me fucking crazy. That stress, man. It was wearing me out, man, on top of a few other things.
Speaker: But that, that was, and it's just, it just wears you out, man, physically and, and, uh, physically and mentally, man, that, that job stress, financial stress, it just wears thin on, on, on you and, uh, Hey, hashtag four 20. Um,
Speaker: But anyways, yeah, you know, that's so, and it feels good because I was, I was, I was holding back and I didn't want to say any, and I, and I still didn't say anything negative. I didn't want to say anything negative when I didn't want to, you know, start any fires that I couldn't put out.
Speaker: I mean, the big thing with you being with the company for such a little time, man, that's why I was like, if it was me, I'd have probably already been looking. I'd have been like, look, the company is getting bought out by somebody else just in the event that it doesn't pay for me. What can I do that's going to benefit me? Because from this year, from where I'm at now,
Speaker: the last year, I've already lost $10 ,000. It's fucking crazy. And it's, it's not getting better. It's not like, Oh, don't worry. You're going to scoop that 10 ,000 somewhere else. It's only going to get worse. And it sucks because being in sales, you're, you're on a, you're on a scale where, where shit goes, your shit goes up and it goes down and it goes, you know what I mean? It's all over the place. Yeah. But I've always been.
Speaker: I don't know, dude, I've always worked my tail feather off to be one of the top guys. You know what I mean? I work hard and I try to play harder, but I don't have enough time to play. So I'm all about work. So when you guys are laughing at me because I'm showing a fucking $50 ,000 razor, listen, dude, I want somebody to come win this fucking thing, but the people that don't win it, I want them to come and buy something from me.
Speaker: because those people help pay my bills. And that's the God's honest truth. In like two years, you'll be rolling in the money. Once all that pyramid money rolls in from Jeff. I'm still waiting on Jeff, dude. I signed up. I signed up over how many months ago did I meet you guys? Two months ago, two months ago, couple months ago. You're still waiting about five more years, buddy.
Speaker: I got out. Are you there yet, Stephen? Have you made it to the top of the pyramid? Are you in the middle still where you? I didn't buy into that shit. I ain't that stupid. Oh, by the way, by the way, I know anyone, but he ain't getting me. By the way, we're moving to Paris. Oh, nice. Is that part of the deal? Jeff and Brian are assuming new identities. Oh, my name's not Brian. I'll make.
Speaker: No, Jeff and Brian are assuming new identities. Brian changes his name to Jeff and Jeff changes his name to Brian. We've got them. You'll never know. No, exactly. I mean, and I'm sure we, you know, we've all been there and it's just one of those, you know, like we've talked on the show and it's the stress of whether people want to believe it or not. And I know a lot of, I know a lot of people kind of,
Speaker: kind of poo poo on the idea or don't want to listen to it. Um, you know, as men, it's, it's kind of, it's, it's ingrained to us. It's, it's built into our DNA that we are providers and protectors and, and, and this, that, and the other thing. And so like financially in jobs, they take a heavy toll on us. You know, if you go from being on one tier or doing
Speaker: you know, making X amount of money and providing a certain type of way. And then you start to slide off. Like it really starts to, I mean, Connor and I've talked about it with his situation, you know, it really starts to take a toll on you. And not only, like I said, physically, but, but man, it'll start getting, it starts to live rent free in your head and you can't take it. Yeah. So, um,
Speaker: But like I said, you know, you know, for the most part, I'm glad everybody, you know, had a good week and, and hopefully, you know, Brian's, your situation will, will take a turn for the better. Um, and, and it'll start to work out. I hope so, man. It's, it's either that or something's got to give. And that's the big thing. And that's why when Mark was like, Hey, do you want to talk about anything specific on the show? He was like, are you going to open up and didn't talk about anything? I mean,
Speaker: That's, that's my high stress right now, guys. I mean, that's it. You know, I mean, my wife owns a food truck. That's her stress. I, I, I stress about it because I just put new gas lines in that son of a bitch. You finally get it. Yeah, it's done. Yeah, it's done. So I seen the, I seen the pictures of a crimp.
Speaker: I'm like, holy shit. Yeah, it was bad. Yeah. So it could have had a pinched. It could have been pinched, but it could have had a hole in it. And, you know, with propane and stuff like that, I mean, where she's up against the metal wall and she's got this heat, you know, so that's where all your gas lines are. So it's like, yeah, what do you do? You can only try to fix what you can fix. That's it. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: You know, and like when Mark and I, when we, when we talked about this and when Mark and I talked about different things, you know, I, you know, and I wanted to make sure you guys knew, Hey, we can have the conversations about anything, but I don't want you guys to feel like you have to talk, you know, like, obviously I don't want you to sit there like. Yeah, Steven, you know, like Steven's doing right now. He's watching TV.
Speaker: But at the, but at the same time, like if you start to, you know, feel a little uncomfortable or even if you're talking about something and, and I, you know, I did it for Jarvis and I can see that it's starting to get a little too heavy or a little too hard, uh, or to talk about or whatever. I can change the subject, slide in air jet and, and, and, and, and kind of keep, keep it moving forward.
Speaker: Um, and I want all guys to know that, I mean, cause we, I've encouraged our listeners if they're interested in coming up to hit us up on the social media and, and let me know. And we can lock, you know, we can send up a day, you know, a Monday when they're available and get them the links and stuff like that. But, you know, we only have to talk about.
Speaker: Like I said, we were talking about trauma and I only dip my toes into the water about some of the stuff that I've been through and gone through and the stuff that I still live with every day.
Speaker: But that was just because, you know, I don't want to, I don't want to, I don't know if it's that I'm not ready for it. I just don't want to dive into that world again. I mean, I don't want to, I don't want to relive it too much. I already do on a daily basis. Dude, our shows, both of our shows, you know, when, when you're not doing this show here, the boat, both of our shows are supposed to be fun, energetic, entertaining.
Speaker: And that's what I see it for as far as doing it, you know, so to come on this, I mean, to be here, man, you know, I appreciate you guys saying, Hey, it's all good, man. We got you if you need something. So I appreciate the hell out of it. But, you know, what I what I always in Steven, you too, man, I mean, even though we fuck with you and we joke around, you are a huge supporter of myself, too. And I greatly appreciate it. So, you know,
Speaker: at the end of the day, we're all in this together. You know, it's not just that, you know, when I met Mark, you know, it was different time. You know, Mark was Mark was more I call him now more my fucking boot, my oompa loompa Yoda.
Speaker: because I mean, the motherfucker, I'll take you over. All the short jokes, they're like, don't you, you're a punching guild. Oh, but I mean, this ain't as bad as what me and him used to say to each other during Friday the 13th. Yeah. No, it took me a while. You know, when we first started this, when we first started talking shit,
Speaker: The first thing I told Brian is I want to do a mental health show one day. And Brian bucked at it for a while. It took a long time for me to convince him, OK, let's do this. And I told him that, you know, I watched your show and I watched what you were doing. And I was like, oh, hell, you know, I like that idea. And I didn't want to run with your idea and just take it. You know, I wanted to help with it. Yeah.
Speaker: So that's a great idea. I think it's Connor. What? Connor's messing with his headset. I don't know. Are you getting feedback? Are you getting? I'm getting feedback. I just don't know where from. Yeah, he muted it because he was having some issues. He kept moving it around. So he was talking to his kids. No, you know, when we talked about it, I encourage you guys, you know, whether you want to do your own thing or
Speaker: If you wanted to jump on board with us, you know, you guys are more than welcome. And it was crazy because this is something that I've wanted to do for a very long time. And I wanted Monday. Nice to be that, but it's also kind of weird because people got so used to seeing the nonsensical nonsense version where we're just, it will cause spade to spade. We're loose cannons. We're unhinged. And we just.
Speaker: whatever pops into our head, it's unfiltered. You know, it's just like, whatever happens, happens, fuck it. We're just gonna crash the wall and see what sticks. So when I started this show and I've had quite a few people that had been getting on like Glick, where's the mental health show Glick? Come on, you know, because I had had some serious moments on the nonsensical nonsense show and moments where I had opened up and or Jeff had opened up and they're like, where's the show? We want you to do the show.
Speaker: I just, I didn't want to do it by myself because. Hey, how hard is that to have a conversation about men's mental health? If you're the only one there and it was finding the right people and with with Connor situation, you know, and as I talked to him, I said, you know, right now you're, you're, you're, you're riding the storm, brother. I said, you're going through the storm and you feel like your world's going to hell. I said, but at the end of the day, as bad as things get and as bad as things seem, everything happens for a reason. Yeah, I hate that phrase.
Speaker: Yeah, I believe it though. I, I believe that's happened is I'm like, dude, I'm glad that this happened because of this, but then there's things that I'm like, dude, I wish this would have never happened. Exactly. You know, I can look now and I can go. Yeah. I understand why these things have happened and why, and it got me to the place I am today. But, you know, and I told Connor, I was like, you know, you have,
Speaker: A lot of positives to look at right now, you know, yes, you lost your military career, but now you're going to start your new career as your own boss, you know, going into gunsmithing and stuff like that. And I said, now you have an opportunity that we've talked about for, for since I started the podcast, the him being on the show and then the opportunity to do this show. Um, which is something that I've wanted to do. And Connor jumped right on board and then it just kind of fell into place. One night we were having a conversation and Jarvis popped in.
Speaker: on here and it was like, holy shit, Jarvis is say what you want to say about the guy. You know, we give him hell, but Jarvis was a perfect fit into this show and into this format and to be a part of the conversations. And I'm grateful for everybody who's taken part of it. And the guys who listen and the guys who hang out, even the women who listen, because I was kind of taken back at the amount of women that are listening to the show and the positive feedback that we're getting from it.
Speaker: And I told Marcus, I would love for you guys to be as much a part of it as you want to or do your own thing. And we can still support each other and help each other out and pop in on the shows or whatever the case may be. But it's all about being open.
Speaker: and being willing to show a little bit of vulnerability. You know, let our defenses down for a couple hours, a couple of few hours, whatever. Chris, I'm not crying on this fucking show. We're going to get you crying before you know it, boy. That picture I showed you last week.
Speaker: I have that and I have that and I was going to ask you. No, you will. I'm going to let you share it, but I was going to show it when we come back on break because I wanted to show it and I wanted you to kind of share as much and go down because I know we've kind of tiptoed with your. I've never told you the whole story. Brian didn't know the whole story until last week. Yeah, he never seen the picture because I never really showed people a picture.
Speaker: Um, my children only know it because we still have the picture around Chloe. My one daughter lived it. Um, but Brian, did you, did you show Stacy that picture? I think Stacy said she saw that picture before. Okay. Uh, the rest of the people, I don't show that a whole lot. I don't, you know, that was a day that, uh, was, uh, horrible, but yeah, it happened for a reason. Like you said.
Speaker: And I'm still trying to figure out why. Yeah. Time at the Wonka factory. Everything happens for a reason. A lot of people don't like that phrase. Everything happens for a reason. And I understand why, because as much as I believe in it, and I believe that, and I believe that, and I believe that people come into our lives for us to learn a lesson or, you know, whether it be a past relationship.
Speaker: or a friendship, an ex friendship, a former friend, a job, whatever the case may be. I feel like people come into our lives and some of them teach us negative lessons that we can either learn from and grow or we're not gonna pay attention to and make the same mistakes. I had somebody that came into my life for a very short time that taught me that it's all right because I let people walk all over me.
Speaker: And they taught me, hey, it's all right for you to stand up for yourself. It's all right to put your foot down. And through that lesson, I mean, granted, they were only in my life for a very short period of time, but out of that
Speaker: encounter, I guess you can say, I was able to put my foot down and start getting rid of a lot of toxic people in my life. And, you know, nothing against my parents. I love my dad to death. He's my dad. And I love my stepmom to death. You know, she she's my stepmom and she helped raise me, but they were two big toxic people in my life. And it finally gave me the courage and to realize I can put my foot down because I need to get rid of the toxic people in my life. And I'm not going to fucking feel bad about it.
Speaker: And you shouldn't only a few of my friends have I got left, uh, from back from when I used to drink. Um, and some stood by me no matter what I've done. Hey, he's right next to me is one of them. Um, and then there's a few others that have stuck by me.
Speaker: the rest of them, I've told to go fuck themselves. Yeah. You know, here's the thing, Mark. The big thing with that is, is, I mean, I, you know, since the day we first met, I already told you like, Hey dude, when we're friends, we're friends, dude. That's it. So it didn't matter. It didn't matter. We didn't talk for years because I was gone and I was trying to, you know,
Speaker: or it would be once a year. Yeah, once a year. Hey, what's going on? How's everybody doing there? What's Citrus County like? You know, that kind of stuff. Shitty. I told him never to come back here and he did it anyways. But Brian was one of the friends that, you know, always wanted something good for me. Didn't want me to go down the wrong road.
Speaker: I did it anyways because well, I blame it on him. He left anyways. So we did dumb shit. Listen, we did dumb shit together. Correct. Think about this. We used to drink on the power lines when we were underage. You know, you're trying to get me piggybacks. It ain't working. You're face first in the dirt. So. But yeah, I mean, I still taste the sand in my mouth that day.
Speaker: I love you too, buddy. I didn't know Jeff's last name was Hawk. I didn't know he was related to Tony. He's not. Don't let him lie. Jeff and I are the same way. I mean, Jeff and I have been friends for almost 30 years now. God damn, that's a long time to put up with him. But I mean, there was a time where we went years without talking to each other.
Speaker: And then he would randomly pop up on Facebook and we would chitchat. And I think up until we started this show, we were on one of those hiatuses where we hadn't talked to each other in several years. I knew he was still down in Mexico and he popped up in my TikTok live one day. And, um,
Speaker: And then got all butt hurt because he was trying to talk to me and I didn't realize it was him, but he didn't, he had KTM K or KTM productions as his name on TikTok. And I had no idea it was him. And then when I real sense, since, since, since I realized it was him, now we spend the.
Speaker: two to three nights a week doing podcasts. And we still talk throughout the week, almost every day, every other day. But my circle got real small in the last year and a half, almost two years. My circle's gotten really, really small. And sometimes you've got to keep it small, dude. When I stopped drinking, I had friends that actually told me, well, you're not drinking. We don't want you around. OK, fine. Fuck you. I don't want you around me at all.
Speaker: Listen, I'm different. I'm like, hey, I'm gonna drink this beer. You don't have to, but it's right here in case you want to. Brian's never since I quit drinking. I never had to worry about that. He was like, I'm gonna drink a beer. Does it? Does that bother you? No, drink away. I don't care. I like seeing people act funny. Oh yeah. Our friend, Tim, he does a mental health show with Gemma.
Speaker: And he's, he's, he's, he's a recovering alcoholic. Been sober for a little bit now. And when I learned that about it, I did, I asked him, I said, does it like, if you come on the show and hang out with us or whatever, or when you're watching the show, does it bother you if I'm drinking? Cause you know, I don't want to, I don't, you know, I don't want to be that guy. It's going to be like, wow, dude, you're a dick man. And Tim didn't want to be that guy that was going, well, I can't believe you're sitting here drinking right in front of me. And I didn't want to be the guy who was drinking in front of somebody who was recovering going,
Speaker: Hey, bet you wish you had one of these. So I asked a question and I've got a couple buddies that are recovering addicts and recovering alcoholics and stuff. And when we would hang out on blood, I would, I'd be like, hey, if you guys don't want me to drink, and they're like, we don't care, man, just go ahead. I was like, all right, I just want to make sure that, you know. The first year that I quit drinking, the second time in the first year,
Speaker: It was a little harder for me to be around, uh, the beer because, you know, I still, you know, had the urge after that first year, it didn't bother me. But of course I, you know, I had other things, you know, uh, oxy's at the time because of the fact that I was, you know, my hip, uh, the pain in my hip and then screwing my leg up, you know, pain management doctor gave me those. So I went from drinking to that and then finally to the morphine to getting off of that.
Speaker: Yeah, I think I was going to dive a little bit into that. Oh, that's only a little bit. Yeah, with the picture situation, I wanted to dive into that some with you as well, because I know we've kind of tiptoed around that conversation. I wasn't going to tell you until the show anyways. Yeah. You would never got me to answer any questions on that, except for the fact that my wife and kid both were great.
Speaker: Yeah. Holy shit. Jeff actually joining us. What the? Oh, I thought he was naked there for a second. I thought we were going to get a dick. Oh, God. Jeff just woke up, boys. Yeah, I quit cooking. Jeff, how are you, buddy? I'll say I'm okay every day. Yeah, right. Now I got to look up and cooking. So welcome. Welcome. Welcome to men caring for men. How's your week been? How's how's everything going for you, brother? How's your how's your mind right now? My mind is gold.
Speaker: I actually got good news today and work wise and the weekend's looking bright. And I just finished watching Roadhouse and it was fucking totally worth it. The medicine, the gonocyphalitis is, is healing up. Is that the good news? I got my little, my little lotion just rubbing in. I thought, I thought the good news was the pyramid scheme. You know, he was on the work finally. He's getting paid finally.
Speaker: He finally made the top sheet. Mark, you want to leave the jokes to me? Yeah. Let me explain why it's funny. Let me explain why it's funny. Damn, it's the Monday night thing, so we don't have... Jeff, I don't know if you know this or not, but Joe Biden is just Hillary Clinton with a smaller dick. Okay, I was just making sure.
Speaker: So somebody in this room knew it. I knew it had to be Jeff. I was like, Hey, you got me on this one, right? I didn't know so. Biden had a dick. Well, before the wheels fall too far off, let's go ahead and take a, take a real quick break. Um, Connor, that's yours, right? That's your, that's your, is that your assistant? I'm not hearing any feedback. So.
Speaker: Hear it, but not it's like Now we were getting it before you came in Joe Is it me Well, I thought that's why you were messing with your stuff or you know because this this mutes me and unmutes me so if you're hearing it without my with my mic up If you're hearing it with my mic up, then it's not me. I
Speaker: I think it's Steven because Steven usually has the issues, but it could very well be me. It's Steven's fault. We'll just blame Steven. Steven likes to jerk off his microphone. He's the only one. Somehow he... Somehow he entered at the last place on this border. Welcome to Mad Character Man, everyone, where Steven usually wants to jump out the fucking window. Oh, you'll be fine. It's not that far of a drop to the snow.
Speaker: Yeah. Shut up. Cushions, you will. It's not like you don't have 20 feet of snow up there in Canada right now. You live in a basement? What the fuck? It's 15. Get it right. It's like Canada. Jarvis comes on the window ledge. Goodbye, cruel world. He's doing snow angels. He's like, is this it? God damn you. I just say he lives in Canada's basement.
Speaker: That's not what you said. No, no, he said Canada, Canada, I said, but you live in a basement because he was talking about jumping off of the balcony. You can't jump off a balcony. You live on the top floor, you dumbass. What? That's called a hole in the insulation. It's not a balcony. I mean, my my apartment on the top floor. Show me the window. Just see how far down it is that far.
Speaker: Okay, it's probably I could literally jump out there without snow and wouldn't even get hurt. Is it snowing right now? Oh, yeah. Oh, see? It's not snowing as bad as what they said it was. But it just started again. So yeah. And then Sunday, we're supposed to get another huge snowstorm. I wonder if my ox. I wonder if my ox port and my mic's going bad now.
Speaker: I'll give you you're fine right now. So yeah, we'll let you know when it happens. It goes in and out. But when I mute myself, then I can still hear it. So I don't know. I was just gonna say, if you unplug the mic, if we're having a problem, and we take turns unplugging our mics, we'll figure out who's got the issue. It's probably Brian. If it's me, I'll fucking unplug the shit. Look, here's my plug. I'm Jarvis. You're good.
Speaker: It's not me. It's not me. Well, you gotta wait for it to start anyways, because. No, I I'm good. I'm just gonna move the mics settings. Yeah, let me go ahead and check mine out too real quick. Make sure it's like I know mine were jacked up yesterday. It could be my oxport too on this.
Speaker: it might be. When it happens again, somebody just fucking call it out and be like, Hey, we'll pick a person and be like, Hey, we think it's you. Someone's getting into like a traumatic story. Hey, motherfucker, who is it? Well, it doesn't matter. Yeah, I would take a real I would take a real quick break. Before we go to break, obviously want to shout out one of our
Speaker: one of our sponsors. And as we all know, you know, part of good mental health is physical health, taking care of your body is going to help get your mind right. And one of our good friends is going to help do that. Liquid IV will make sure you're properly hydrated because you know, hydration is very important to our, our physical well beings. And a lot of people are not properly hydrated and they think they are, but they're not.
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Speaker: So as we all know, cause we all grew up in a certain era and we were told to say our prayers and take our vitamins by the Hulkster. So we know that vitamins are good. And some of the vitamins meant this. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. Uh, real people, real flavor, real hydration, head on over to liquidiv .com. Use our promo code words are hard. You're going to save 20 % off your entire order. When you shop better hydration today at liquidiv .com with promo code words are hard. I want to play a little quick song here. Uh, got a cover of tears for fears slash carry jewels, mad world. I like to pick music to kind of go with the show and, um,
Speaker: Damn, I thought you were going to play everybody wants to rule the world. No, no, no. And I love the song and I love the meaning behind this song because it is about a young man who feels like he's alone in the world dealing with depression and dealing with other mental issues. So. Enjoy the song, listen to the words, if you will, and we'll be back here in just a few minutes. Fuck whoever put that.
Speaker: All around me are familiar faces Worn our places, worn our faces Riding early for the daily races Going nowhere, going nowhere
Speaker: Their tears are filling up their glasses No expression, no expression I'm my head, I wanna drown my sorrow No tomorrow, no tomorrow
Speaker: I find it kinda funny, find it kinda sad The dreams in which I'm dying, all the best I've ever had I find it hard to tell you, find it hard to take When people run in circles, it's a very, very
Speaker: My world, my world
Speaker: Children waiting for the day they feel good Happy birthday, happy birthday Made to feel the way that every child should Sit and listen, sit and listen Went to school and I was very nervous
Speaker: No one knew me Hello teacher, tell me what's my lesson Look right through me Look right through me And I find it kinda funny Find it kinda sad The dreams in which I'm dying Are the best I've ever had I find it hard to tell you Find it hard to change
Speaker: When people run in circles, it's a very, very mad war. Mad war. Mad war.
Speaker: Ooh
Speaker: cover of Tears for Fears, Mad World. That young man did an amazing job. I wish I would have caught his name. Let's see if it shows it here. But it's not going to. Amazing job he did on that song. I love that song. I'm with you, Benj. That's one of my favorite songs. We started the show out, I meant to say this. Excuse me.
Speaker: We started the show out with Dax's new song to be a man with feature and Darius Rucker. Uh, I did it when I was looking to download that song and Mark and I were talking about it before the show. There was a almost 11 minute version of that song where they just, it was a mega mix with a whole bunch. Yeah, I was, I was happy. It was great.
Speaker: Yeah, it was great on the lyrics that they used, the other people added to the song. It's just like Dear Alcohol. That was another one you told me about the remix that they did with all that, and that was fucking awesome. Even his song, Depression, is actually a good song too. I like Depression. I like Dex. I'm a big fan of Dex.
Speaker: I'm actually hoping to get him on the music show at some point. We just got to get those open lines of communication going. But, uh, there's a whole lot of those guests that we've been working on, dude. So yeah, I know he's blowing up right now and he's got a lot of things going on in his world, but, uh, however, welcome back to men caring for men. We have the guys from talking shit joining us. Mark and Brian are here. Then I use, and then I have my usual suspects, Connor, my guy, Connor.
Speaker: Jared V. She and a rare appearance Jeffrey on a men came from men podcast. So I did. You guys know me and shout outs in the chatters box. We'll see you guys. Appreciate you guys being here and partaking in the show and the conversation. If you guys aren't already, go ahead and check out the socials, Facebook, Instagram,
Speaker: X and TikTok. Don't forget, we do do the shows, the show typically on Monday nights at seven on Facebook, YouTube and Twitch.
Speaker: You can catch us live. And then you can also listen anytime, any place, wherever you listen to podcasts at. And that's all at nonsensical nonsense, or you can head on over to bio .link slash nonsensical nonsense and all the links for all the social media is there, uh, including links to our sponsors. Like I just told you guys about liquid IV liquid, IV .com, your hydration destination. Words are hard. You're going to save off, uh, every order.
Speaker: W energy, w .gg join us as we wage war on big energy. Use our promo code check out and for broadcasters, podcasters, and streamers out there. If you guys want to check out Zincaster, you're all in one super easy spot to get everything you need. Zincaster .com slash pricing words are hard. 30 % off your first month's paid plan. Um,
Speaker: Just to knock out the confusion, yes, it is all under nonsensical nonsense. Most of you guys know me from nonsensical nonsense. We've kind of created a little bit of a network, so to say. So Monday nights are men caring for men. Tuesday nights is dollars and cents. Wednesday nights is nonsensical nonsense. Thursdays we take the night off because we let our guys do their thing. We let them shine. I never talking shit.
Speaker: You can find them at TalkingShitSHTTT on Facebook, YouTube, Instagram. They're kind of all over the place. Give them a follow. Check out their show on Thursday nights. And then if you're up late on Thursday nights, go ahead and check out Late Night Parents. And don't forget, every Thursday, 3 p .m. our time, states' time, Eastern time, Helen's Mixtape is released on 360radio .com. And
Speaker: Mondays, Wednesdays, and Friday mornings, our graph, fireman rich gets you guys up and ready bright and early for his morning and coffee show. And then Jarvis, he just does a lot of random things, you know, you can buy that. It's your VC project. Yeah. The Jerry VC project, the Jarvis podcast, uh, Jarvis demon on Twitch. Hold on. Click Brian. You want to try that one again, buddy.
Speaker: The Jerabishi project. There you go. Yes, actually. Hey, the gym. Hey, Mark, you're the only one who didn't join them. You're at the same time like true Italian style. Hey, boppity boopity. Hey, yo, Jerabishi. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold on, Jerabishi, can I get the super day or super dessert? It's the same fucking thing.
Speaker: Alright, let's get on with the show. I think I got everybody in there. I think I got all of our friends in there. All of our shows. God, we do a lot of stuff. You missed Saturday's Men Coming for Men. That's Saturday nights.
Speaker: Yes. Let's not forget about, and every other Friday is Glick's house of music on these same channels. And then Saturday nights is nonsensical nonsense, but with a twist, we dropped the link. We opened the door. We call it the open door challenge. We dare you guys to join us and come live on this show. You can come.
Speaker: I'm on the show. I mean, every night, baby, every night, Connor's like, damn, you guys do it on Saturday. You guys do it on Saturdays. We do it once a month. So shuck us out as well. So you're going to, you got the balls enough over on Saturday. Brian, it's yours.
Speaker: Is it me? It is me. Fuck off. I can tell when you started talking, that's when I could tell. It's just better. It's just better. Even your microphone doesn't like you. Oh, Mr. Ponzi scheme, man, you know, fucking oh, I can afford all these things. But yeah, I can't afford a fucking decent mic. OK, first of all, I never said I can afford anything. That's why I do podcast.
Speaker: the fifth
Speaker: Yes. Are you guys going to, are you guys going to, are you guys going to make that a staple moving forward once a month? You guys are going to open the door. We're going to do, we're going to do the, we're going to do once a month, one, one weekend a month. We're going to, once we figure out.
Speaker: the name, too. I mean, we keep going back and forth. I like the dare. OK. I like the dare. It's a hot link. It's a hot link, but you don't want to put a hot dog on the fucking screen. So well, I don't want to put it to say the dare link because that's how Glick got us mostly on the show. So why not? Yeah, Glick. He posted a picture of a hot fuck. Is that tragic? What is it?
Speaker: It's about a half spaghetti. Holy shit. Is it hot dog spaghetti? No. That's not fucking Sheldon, you fucking weirdo. What he fails to mention is that's his bowl. That pound and a half of spaghetti is his. That's for me. Everybody else can fucking show up. Oh, shit. But yeah, that's cool. I mean, I told Mark, I was like, I'm trying to think of a name, too, for you guys as well to kind of help out, but, you know,
Speaker: Like I said, some are going to be a, some are, some are going to be a success. Some are going to be a miss. I'm still mad at the guys on my show. So far a miss. Yeah. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. You guys had the champ on your first, on your, on your show last week. Last week, I think we did pretty good compared to some of the other ones where we had.
Speaker: Listen, we had we had gene on the show. So Last week was good. You know, I'm mad at my guys for not popping in and saying hi, but you know what? That's neither here nor there. I'm sorry. Yeah, I'll pull the thumb on that one. That's my fault before we get any further before we get any further a counter. I got a question for you. I got an answer for you. Okay. We're going to be doing a military show in some time in May and we'd like to invite you on to our show for that.
Speaker: I'm always here, man. Yeah. Hey, Brian. Give me a shout. Give me a howl. Do you still have your name? Yes. We're going to be doing a vet show at some point in time whenever Connor gets off of his leg. Yeah, I haven't. I haven't. I haven't picked a date yet, you dumb cunt. How about you? Just fuck off. Oh, I know. I know. I know you're a vet too. And you know, much like Mark did, I don't wait to piggyback off of Mark and
Speaker: And poach his co -host, but we do want to invite you on for that. So it'll be a men caring for men episode. Uh, but it will be for the, the vets to kind of come on. I want to address, you know, I'm going to try to let Connor host that, but I tried last week and I'm telling you right now when it, when it comes to the military part of it, once you get military men in there or women, uh, you're no longer the host.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. You don't need a host once we start. Oh, he'll be like, wait a second. I'm not feeling wanted. I got to take over the show again. What will do that? Do something. That's it. He's like it's always good for it's because it's one of the hardest Jarvis. That's the rule. Yeah, Ken, that's why I got kicked off the other fucking shit. No.
Speaker: No, uh, uh, last week we, Connor's not yet comfortable in the host seat, which is fine.
Speaker: we'll work that we'll work on that. But I do want to just kind of that show, I'll come in and do the introductions and stuff like that. Now I'm going to have questions, but I do want to address the issues, especially mentally wise, that our vets deal with and talk about obviously the 22 a day, which is not good in any way, shape and or form. And other issues, you know, but I'll kind of
Speaker: just kind of slightly steer the conversations, but outside of that, I'm just going to kind of let you guys do your thing. You know, when we did ours, um, you know, it was, I sat back, I asked one question. That's all I had to do was ask one question every so often. I would try to ask enough, they'd fuck that. And it was like, okay, they were doing great. And then I had, uh, my friend, uh, Wes who called me the next day and, or afterwards and said, Hey, look, that was a great show. Thank you for doing it.
Speaker: I loved it. It helped me get some of my, you know, some of the stuff I'm thinking about out and, you know, my, my younger brother, he was on the show too. And, um, you know, we just went with it. You know, it was great. Um, this time around we have, um, uh, Rob Mello, uh, from, um, yeah, what the hell's the name of the movie again? Does it last?
Speaker: No, no, no, no. Oh, Rob. Rob is from he was from Happy Death Day. Happy Death Day. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's the baby. He's the baby face killer. Yeah. That was a great idea. Nikki and I were and she hasn't seen the movie yet, but they've got the baby face mask at Wal -Mart. And I was like, oh, that's from Happy Death Day. Oh, Mark and Brian had the killer on their show. And she was like, spoiler alert. I was like, shut up. You didn't even watch.
Speaker: So far, that's the only one. And well, Connor now is our second one. And we're still debating on who else we're going to pick up and do. I just want to try to get, I want to get other people. Real quick, boys. I'm going to jump off. I'm going to get something to eat. And I'm going to take it. I'm fucking fried. Thanks for coming in and checking on me. He's already gone.
Speaker: Speaking of which, I totally forgot. We were supposed to let Doc know about this show tonight. Oh, shit. My bad. I'll message him. But no, and I encourage, you know, I know Connor's got friends and Brian, I encourage you and I think you should do the same thing for your show. Anybody that you know that you may have served with or anything like that, reach out to them.
Speaker: Yeah, and see if they want to, you know, if they want to listen that military show that military show that you guys do that we do. I'm going to tell you right now. It's not going to be a one hour. It's not going to be a two hour. It's going to be until until we get it off of our chest.
Speaker: Ours was three hours and it was crazy. Listen, we can do a to -be -continued, it can roll into your show. If you guys don't have a date yet, we could do a Memorial Day show. What are we doing? May something, right? We haven't picked a date yet. Around Memorial Day and then to be continued on.
Speaker: Yeah, as I said, we can. Yeah, I you want to try to do something like that. That'd be pretty dope, right? Yeah, we could. We could never done that before you guys do the initial show and then it rolls right on over into men caring for men and.
Speaker: You know, if, if you guys want, want me to be there, I'll be there and Mark, you're more than welcome to be on the show as well. And we just, again, we said we wanted to work together and do this. And, you know, obviously I'll be your co -host that night. Yeah. You, you, you and Glick are the co you and Glick are our host and co -host. So even though I told you on our, even though I told you on our show, you weren't going to be the, you know, a lot to be the, I'm.
Speaker: But, um, I mean, we can show, add more. Yeah. Cause I mean, there's, there's, there's questions that I have and there's things that I would like to, I would like to talk to vets about personal, I'm about to get kicked off Instagram. So I'll re -up Instagram as soon as this ends. Uh, I started, I'm going to put the show on Instagram while we're live as well.
Speaker: Uh, just to get some more exposure on Instagram, but, um, cause there's questions, me being a civilian that I would like to ask. And there's, and there's things that I would, I'm curious to know about. And, you know, I've had some conversations with my vet friends, but not, not in an environment where they're there to open up or anything like that.
Speaker: You know what I mean? I, yeah, I normally don't ask Brian much about his, um, military, you know, except, uh, you know, a few things, but during that show, I learned a lot more on certain things that they have to learn how to do before that they get out too. And that was, that was, uh, an interesting, we had to learn how to be civilians again.
Speaker: Like once you become military, you're stuck in an everlasting loop, right Connor? You understand what I'm saying? It's a replay every single day of your life because everything has to happen the same day, every single day, every time, the same way.
Speaker: It is one of the, one of the biggest transitions. It is by far the biggest transition that I've ever had to go through in my life. Even, and I could talk about my physical, physicality, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like the switch from being type A turned on 24 seven. It has to be at this time. It has to be done this way. If it's not, I get, I, you will get pitched at. And if you don't get bitched at, you're the one doing the bitch. And if you do.
Speaker: if you do that in the civilian world, you get looked at sideways. I mean, you could I got I got buddies who could be on here for hours about this shit and gone on the civilian world, been managers, been leaders in the civilian world, and it doesn't last long because they have this personality from the military. And it just it's it's completely different.
Speaker: 100%. Uh, coming back, I was telling Mark, I was like, dude, we had to learn how to drive cars all over again. They would tell us, I'd be on the ship there. We're pulling into port from being out for six, seven months at a time. And they, we come back and they're like, all right guys, listen, you're not allowed to it. Like it was a military instruction. It was a UCMJ instruction. You cannot drive a car the day you show up.
Speaker: to port to take your family home because you're going to fucking kill everybody, right? Because you don't know how to fucking drive. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like we had to learn all that all over again. So it's. Sorry, I'm flipping Benji. You know, I think I think that we can come up with an idea of playing a game plan and we can probably do we can probably do a two like a two day show.
Speaker: whether it's with the same guys or if we got to mix it up a little bit. But here's the thing, Mark was like, I don't know if we need to get a Coast Guard guy because the last Coast Guard guy we had, who was absolutely fantastic, believe it or not. And I invited him back too. Because, you know, it was so hard to find that one person. Who do you find that's been in the fucking Coast Guard, dude? Who the fuck's a Coast Guard? Actually, a very good friend of mine, Cam, you guys, Connor, you know Cam,
Speaker: Cam does a lot of stuff behind the scenes. I met Cam when he was like 14, 13, 14 or whatever. Him and his older brother, we met playing Call of Duty. We have a friends group. There's five of us and we're still friends to this day. We have group chats and everything. And Cam's done a lot of stuff behind the scenes for the shows and whatnot and helped promote the show and everything like that. He's like a little brother to me. His dad was in the Coast Guard, retired, did 20 plus years in the Coast Guard.
Speaker: and retired and I could probably reach out to him. I call his dad Nickelback. We were trying to get, we were trying to get retired military, older military. I could probably reach out to Cam and see if his dad would be interested in doing it. I mean, I know his dad, his dad's actually a really good guy. But I would be curious to know if he'd be interested in doing that. I'll reach out to Cam and ask him so that we'll figure that out. Yeah.
Speaker: But I think it's a great idea. I think it's a great idea for us to do a two parter and, you know, I'm telling you right now, we start the show now and it's going to fucking go for a couple of days.
Speaker: It's just, I mean, it gives us an opportunity as, as military and prior military to get shit off of our chest. No, exactly. And that's, and that's what I want to do. And that's the whole point of it. That's the whole point of this show at the end of the day is to talk about things and get things off of our chest and talk about the issues that, you know, that, that led us down the path that we've been down. Speaking of which, right before we went to break, I know we were talking to Mark and Mark was okay. I'm going to, I'm going to.
Speaker: show this picture. And if you want to elaborate and kind of go down that road, if you're ready. So now, Connor, you might be saying this for the first time. Jarvis might be saying, I don't know. I've seen it. Not Steven seen it. Okay. I seen it. And not much at all of a backstory on it at all. Just just again,
Speaker: You know, the conversations that Mark and I had, we literally just dipped our toesies in the water to see how it felt. Um, so I'm curious to, to, to kind of learn more and hear more about this, but, uh, this, this picture from my understanding, this, this picture changed Mark's life. Uh, a lot changed my life. It changed my wife's life. They changed my, well, not really did much for my, my daughter, Chloe. Cause well, you know, it didn't, she was only.
Speaker: almost six months old when it happened. Before you show the picture, I'm going to tell you a little bit beforehand. It was June 15th. It was around 4 .30, 5 o 'clock in the afternoon. I got a call, said that my wife was in a car accident. I'm like, OK. And they said, she's fine. And that was all that they said, because I was at work. I worked for advanced auto parts at the time.
Speaker: And right after that, about five minutes later, my neighbor came in and said, Karen was in a bad accident that her car was totaled and, uh, they're landing the helicopter. I'm like, Oh, fuck. So I threw the keys to one of my team members and I said, here's my, uh, code go, you know, for refunds.
Speaker: I mean, they could have ripped me off, but they didn't. That was the best part, working with people that were close, like family at the time. Anyways, I got there and I was looking around. The first thing I heard was Chloe crying. They wouldn't let me near her to try to calm her down because they had to hold her down because they didn't know if something was wrong. My wife was already out of the car and
Speaker: We, she was, they were getting ready to take her on in the helicopter to St. Joseph's hospital in Tampa. Go ahead and show the picture. Now that is a, she was going across 19 to go pay the phone bill at the time. And somebody waved her across.
Speaker: And a van hit her. And from there, it was weird. It's still doing it. It might be mine. I don't know. But anyways, after that, I had one of my friends, John, go get my mom from work because she was at work. I couldn't get a hold of her or anybody else. And then I called my mother -in -law.
Speaker: And she was there and my mom took me down to St. Joseph's. The shit of it all is, is that day, if we had not turned Chloe around to where she was able to see us instead of facing the back seat, you know, like they tell you until they're like a year old or whatever to whatever. Chloe would not be here today.
Speaker: Uh, but since we turned her around, she only had a little spot on her forehead. That was it. My wife broke her arm in two places. She had to have a plate put in it. Um, of course a concussion, a bunch of, uh, cuts, uh, her hip was, um, fractured, but, you know, not enough to, you know, they didn't do anything with it.
Speaker: After that, she was in the hospital for about a week and we brought her home and little things led to another and that's when I started drinking more. Now, it was not my wife's fault. She took blame for it. She should never have listened to the other person, she said, but she thought that,
Speaker: They were doing something nice for her. And then, you know, having the stress of being an assistant manager at an auto parts chain, I started drinking more. My wife calls this my midlife crisis. I'm not allowed to have another one. So I kept drinking. I'd go out, do this, do that, you know, and then I kept going after a year.
Speaker: which I don't know if Brian knows this part, after a year after the accident, me and Karen separated for a few months. It didn't last long because about when 9 -11 came about, I decided that I wanted my family back. And, you know, when we went to my brother's graduation at Paris Island,
Speaker: uh, I took my wife with me and my daughter. And, uh, well, let's say that, uh, my second child was, uh, you know, made there. And, uh, after that, I kept drinking. I kept, you know, and then I had, sometimes I call him my bad influence moved back to Florida and I started drinking more and more with him.
Speaker: After a while, you know, you're like, okay, bars get boring. I can't hear you, Brian. I just was saying it's not me. It was not me. Okay. Can tell your story. Um, so when, yeah, I, I keep drinking and, you know, after a while, you know, I started telling my wife during some of these times that it was her fault, you know, the car accident and blaming her.
Speaker: being a dick about it all and alcohol is not my friend. Uh, my wife says that it wasn't the alcohol. It was more of, you know, I was fine as long as I didn't have more than, you know, three beers. Once I hit the fourth, fifth, six, 12, 18, it was different. Yeah. I started becoming somebody she didn't even know. Uh, it was around the time that my, my son was born.
Speaker: I had stopped drinking for about a year. Uh, cause somebody had spiked my drink at the bar. And, uh, I, I went a year without drinking and then I started drinking again. And well, one thing led to another, let's say that, uh, a cop pulled me over could arrested me for a DUI, uh, about almost the same amount of time. Um, I think it was, uh,
Speaker: June 19th or something like that. I can't remember the exact date, but I know it's in June. It was five months after my hip surgery, still not being able to move my leg the way I wanted to. I'm going up over a hill, coming down a hill, I go on about 40 miles an hour, that's 10 over the speed limit, pops me as my friend is puking out the back of my truck.
Speaker: because I went to go get him from the bar because he had too much to drink. You know, okay, I'll bring him home. The cop pulls me over, tells me, okay, have you had something to drink? I said, yeah. How much? I said, I couldn't really tell you. It's more than two. He goes, okay, get out of the vehicle. He gave me an ultimatum that day. He says, I could run your ass in or you could do two things for me.
Speaker: One, call somebody to have them come get you right now. They have five minutes. I said, can you make it seven? He goes, okay. So I called my sister, said, this is what's going on. Come get me. She owed me a favor. So it's a, you know, no questions asked type thing. The second one is, is we just bought a case of beer. I had to open up all the beer and pour them out.
Speaker: And the cop let me go. The next day, I woke up. I said, never yet. I'm not drinking. 16 years later. Well, it'll be 16 in June. I have not touched any alcohol. Doesn't mean much about that when you have, when you go from beer to oxies and then oxies to morphine. The morphine didn't knock me out.
Speaker: Brian got to see the oxies, what they did to me. Brian told me, you know, look, you know, basically, I don't really want to be around, you know, if you're going to go down this road. He talked me into, you know, showing me how to get off certain drugs. You know, it was only oxies that I was on. Prescribed at that. And then after that, it was like, okay, you know,
Speaker: I went to the morphine and now I'm been off the morphine for almost seven months now. But the alcohol alone made me be somebody I wasn't. I had my kids would cry when I'd leave the house to go to the bar. And I didn't care at the time. And my daughters know all about this, how I was. I'd get mad for no reason.
Speaker: I, I have an attitude, but you know, I don't miss it. I miss some of the friends that I was around at the time because they were fun, but it's not worth it anymore. Was, was the, um, the, was the prescription, uh, pain meds, was that?
Speaker: part of dealing with the out or was that, was that like you, you decided you had that ultimatum by that police officer and you kicked the alcohol and then you know, I still had the, I had the painkillers before then because I had just, I had my hip replaced at the age of 30 and I had to, they pinched the nerve in the back of my knee. So I was always in pain and my foot would drop. So I had to learn to drive with my left foot at that.
Speaker: which is a pain in the ass. So I'd go, so I'd go over to Mark's house and you know, Mark would be like, Oh, I got to take my payments. I'm not feeling good. I'm like, that's cool. Go ahead. He'd take the payments and we'll, we'll talk and we're having a great time. And then here's Mark. I went to, I went to his house and we were watching a movie and my wife's hit me every so often.
Speaker: Wake up and Brian was like, okay. And then I said, Mark, I said, is there a way that you can come off of the pain meds? Like, is there any way, because it sucks because I want to hang out with you. But when we're hanging out, like you're, you're asleep and I don't want you to be asleep. I don't want you to miss out on stuff. And he's like, he was like, I don't, I don't know. He was like, I don't know. And I was like, all right, well let's do a little bit of research. And we, you know, I think, uh, my wife even said, Hey, listen, we got to smoke some weed.
Speaker: You know, that'll help your, your, your body too. At that time, I was, you know, I was still a little bit against weed and all. I didn't want to really smoke it. Um, I was trying to find different alternatives, but my insurance also told me, Hey, look, you dumbass pretty much, uh, we're not going to let them give you oxygen anymore. So you got the choice either go on, uh, methadone or morphine. Okay. So I talked to my pain management doctor and he says,
Speaker: Morphing would probably be better for you. I said, okay, so we went with morphine ten years later. I decided myself Nobody else decided for me. I was done So was was uh, was that was the painkillers? I'm assuming I just I'm just trying to clarify Was that a was that a full -blown addiction for you that with the with the prescription drugs or the painkillers or was? Yeah, I well
Speaker: Like come on it was oxy say we're great so it wasn't a complete Addiction because can confirm It's it's It yeah, I it's fun with them, but When your friends don't want to be around you because you're falling asleep if you're doing this Yeah, it was time
Speaker: Uh, I just, I want to have a conversation with you and it's really hard to have a conversation. It's really hard to, you know, we had a conversation at, um, Brian's oldest daughter, uh, graduation. He was like, dude, you haven't fell asleep yet. I said, dude, I'm not on oxies anymore. And he was like, holy shit. I mean, you were, you were simultaneously, you know, you were fighting two demons at once with it, with it, with the alcohol.
Speaker: And with the oxies and, and, and, you know, that was the cool thing and, and, and, and big ups to your, to Brian and big ups here, guys, his friendship. Uh, you know, that's, that's a goddamn friend right there. I mean, this man was clear. He's seen you were going through it and, and, and he was right there by your side. He stood by me no matter, no matter how stupid mistakes I've made. Um, he's always stood by me. It hasn't always been around, wanted to be around me because of that fact, but.
Speaker: When I told him I was done with the oxies, he was like, wow. And then when I told him, uh, the day I stopped with the morphine, he said, holy shit. Nice. He was checking in on my friend and making sure, Hey, are you okay? Is everything good? And Mark could tell you like, you know, I get some pain. You get some pain here and there. And I told him, I said, dude,
Speaker: Do you need, do you need some gummies? Because my wife will have to give you some gummies if you need them. I definitely need some gummies, but I mean, that's a different story. I will tell you this. I will tell you this in my pain management doctor also told me this too. Sometimes pain drugs, pain medicine will intensify the pain. And so when you come off of it, your pain is going to be really high.
Speaker: But then it teeters off and then you start to feel less pain. And that's exactly what happened. I still have pain in my legs, my shoulders, my back. I get that all the time, bro. But I'm not there. But you don't have the disability that I have with my joints. No, no. Listen, I'm not trying to compare me to you. I'm just saying I...
Speaker: trying to feel it because I can sit down for a little bit. I go to stand up and I can't fucking move. My back, because of the way my back is, it causes me to have problems in my legs. So in the morning time, when I get up, I walk like I'm 97 years old. And my wife, when this first happened, she laughed at me.
Speaker: And now she's like, babe, are you OK? And I'm like, I just got to stand here for a second. I got to get the I got to get the circulation in my feet and stuff like everything. Everything has to come together. You know, well, and that's and that's one of the you know, I've made it very clear. I'm I'm terrified of prescription drugs. I the most I take is Tylenol Asperger. I'm terrified. My mom was a pill head. That was my mom's drug.
Speaker: one of my mom's drug of choice, because she had a doctor that she could go and say, she could walk into a doctor's office and cut my leg off. And I need this, this, and this. And the doctor would prescribe her. And I watched what it did to her. And I'm terrified of prescription drugs. And, you know, even like, I don't want to be on antidepressants. I don't want to be on anti -anxiety. And I know they're not narcotics or anything like that.
Speaker: But I am terrified because I watched what it did to my, what it did to my mom. I've watched what it did to my cousin.
Speaker: and both of which who are no longer with us. And I've watched what it do to other people. So that, that terrifies me. And that's one of those, those signs of withdrawal or one of those things that keep you coming back for more is, and Connor might be able to attest to this. Like you said, when you stopped initially, that, that pain was intensified. So when you would start to come off that quote unquote high, we'll just call it that, um, that pain was like,
Speaker: kicking your teeth in? Actually, in this case, no, because my pain management doctor took me off in the right way. He didn't just say, OK, we're done with them. You got a good doctor, sounds like. Yes, I had a great doctor. I would I like him if I had to go if I had to go back to a pain management doctor would always be him. But the biggest thing is, is when, you know, when it came to the alcohol part of it all, my wife seen
Speaker: what my dad's death did to me the most because I was 13 years old when he killed himself. Um, and he was coming off of, he had DTs withdraws from the drugs and alcohol. So, you know, I thought that, you know, drinking wouldn't be that big of a deal, but it's on both sides of my family, I guess that, you know, uh, alcoholism is, but you know,
Speaker: but my my wife seen it big time on but my kids didn't I'm I'm thankful that they weren't old enough to understand it all on how it was so but they've seen a lot in my family you know with meth and not with me I've never tried that shit never will I've never tried any harder drugs than that um but with the alcohol it was just the point that
Speaker: I always dwelled on the accident or my father's death. Those are the only big two. And after that, it was like, okay, it was time to figure out something else. Once I figured out that part, the last time I celebrated my dad's death anniversary was when it turned, when it was 30 years. And that was the last time I won't celebrate any more anniversaries about it.
Speaker: I don't bring it up in conversation barely anymore. Um, except like, like earlier, Steven, when we were talking, um, I don't, I don't want that because the day, the day my dad died, nine years later, my daughter Chloe was born the exact same day. It wasn't a point. It wasn't a coincidence. It was, I told them that was the day that was going to happen. Cause she was already two weeks late as it was. Yeah. So.
Speaker: We were taking, they were going to force her out as it was. So I had the choice of the 25th or 26th. I chose the 26th. And, you know, a lot of things had led up to more than just that for me drinking, but those are the two major things that I always thought. And I think, and I think a lot of people get it twisted and again, you know, I'm no expert. I'm just speaking my opinion and what I've gone through and what I've lived.
Speaker: I think, I think what people don't understand is when you're dealing with an addiction and I, and I, and I went through it. Um, it's not so much that you're weak or anything like that. It's just, you're looking for something to numb the pain. When I heard, when I heard that song bite decks, uh, their alcohol.
Speaker: I was like, uh, dude, that set hit the spot right there. Yeah. I've not heard a song that hit spots like that in a long time. That hit me like a sack of bricks. But when I heard that one, I was like, Oh, hell yeah. And then when I heard the, you know, the remix of it, dude, that was even more. Yeah. You know, a lot of that's what they did. The 10 minute version of that. I went and looked at after that, um, you know, it's just.
Speaker: it's always yes it it's about numbing that pain, but for some reason I always brought it up thing like I don't.
Speaker: Uh, we don't normally talk about the car exit except, you know, I can joke about it now with my wife and for everybody to know my wife is still with me. Where'd you been together for 30 years? Not yet. It's 26 years. We've been together 24 married. Congratulations to that. That's awesome. How old are you? I'm 46.
Speaker: Fuck you. We are not 46. We are 42. We're only 36. We're only 36. I'm only 22, so I mean, I don't know what you guys are talking about. Fuck you, Connor. I'm going to take your controls away from you. Me and Mark have been married almost about the same amount of time. You've been with Karen as long as I've been married.
Speaker: It's Stacy, right? But you got married. You guys got together. I got married to Stacy a week after I met her. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. It was I think we dated for seven, eight months. And then I was like, God, girl, like, for some reason, I just want you to marry me. And she was like, OK.
Speaker: She was like, uh, she was like, no, I'm in. And then I was like prenup. And then she was like, yeah, whatever. So then I knew that's when you know, like, I got $3 in my check. But you signed this prenup. You can have none of it. She was fine with that. She was like, I'll do whatever you want. She was like, that's fine. If you want me to sign a prenup, I'm good.
Speaker: That's why I married my wife. I'll do whatever you want. It's, it's, it's, it's weird for me to say, because you know, Mark, you, you, you haven't, uh, you, you walked away from the pills and you walked away from the alcohol. You don't drink no more. You're not, you're not taking them. Have you ever tried weed medicinally or gummies? I'd rather, I'd rather do the gummies because I don't like the smoke. Yeah. Okay.
Speaker: I'm not a, I'm not a weed guy. I can tell you guys, and this is 100 % honest to God truth. I've smoked weed twice in my life. When I was 16 years old, I didn't like it. It wasn't for me. It just made me sleepy. And I've done gummies twice in my life. And that was in the last year. The first time was cool. You know, the second time Nikki found me naked dead in the bathroom.
Speaker: I was in the shower and I thought I was dying. And then like I came out. Yeah. I think that was nice or something. I've been in the shower dead for like two hours. And then I come out here and I laid on the bed. And then like a half hour later, it was like, I feel great. And I'm hungry. And I was eating everything. But yeah, it's not necessarily for me. And I've never been a big, like,
Speaker: Like I've never been a big person like, Oh yeah. I don't care for weed. I don't care for it. I don't care for, you know, you know, a lot of people. When it comes to weed, like laugh my ass off. Yeah. I used to have a mindset that I didn't, I never liked people who smoked for recreation, recreationally. However, I've always been a big proponent of it. Medicinally, I've seen what it done, what it does for cancer patients. I've seen what it does for people with Parkinson.
Speaker: I've seen what it does for pain relief and pain management. And the great thing about it is it's all natural. There's not 47 different chemicals in there that could potentially kill you. There's not addicting agents in it that are going to make you become addicted to it.
Speaker: It, it, medicinally, I believe that it is, it should be legal, legalized across the country, medicinally. And I felt that way for years. Um, recreationally, I mean, if you want to smoke and you can still be a functioning part of, of, of society, great. If you're like my idiot brother -in -law who just smokes weed and drinks Coke and plays World of Warcraft 24 seven, why my sister takes care of the entire family, go fuck yourself.
Speaker: But, you know, and I say, it's funny for me talking about, you know, fighting an addiction and overcoming an addiction and battling those demons because I was a raging alcoholic for many years. I would get up in the morning and my breakfast was Jack Daniels and Budweiser. And I always had a, and I never drove, like this was the thing for me. I never drove. So when I would, when I was working construction, I'm sorry. Yeah. You know, one of my guys would pick me up and now I didn't operate, I was a heavy equipment operator.
Speaker: But I was a functioning alcoholic. I had a cooler full of beer and a bottle of Jack Daniels and my equipment with me. And, and then I would get home from work and I would drink myself to sleep. And I did this for like four years. And it was like, it was a, it was a, it was accumulation of like, I wanted to go in the military and that was taken away from me. But I was going to go to college and play ball that was taken away from me.
Speaker: I wanted to become a police officer. That was taken away from me. I was dating a girl in high school or, you know, and then that was taken away from me. Um, and then my grandfather passed away and my dad was never really like a great father figure. So my, I always looked up to my grandfather's and my grandfather passed away. It was just like, it was just, man, that fucking snowball started rolling down the hill and it was, and I'm 19 years old and I'm,
Speaker: And I'm drinking and I look back at pictures of me now and I'm the smallest I've ever been in my life. I'm like 240 pounds. I look sick. Like my, you know, my neck sunken in my eye. I just look sick as hell. And I had lost control. I didn't have control. And that's why I said, this is where the funding comes in. I still drink today, but I can control it.
Speaker: I have control. Those demons don't control me anymore like they used to. And I was a fucking, and again, we talked about the trauma. I mean, that was part of the path that I went down and the road that I went down and the things that I did or the things that happened to me was because those demons had the best of me and I was very self -destructive and I was angry and I had a violent street 10 miles long. So,
Speaker: And shortly before my daughter was born, my oldest daughter, I just woke up one morning and I said, yeah, I'm done. I'm taking control back. It's time for a change. And, and, and I did. And then when I was in Charleston, towards the end of my, my marriage, I started to lose control again. And, you know, and my oldest daughter, she remembers I was, I was not, I promised I would never be.
Speaker: like my dad or my grandfather. Alcoholism runs in my family. And I didn't realize it, but I started becoming them. And the alcohol was starting to get the best of me. And my marriage was gone to shit. And my ex -wife had had me so mentally fucking broken that, I mean, I went to work and I came home and I was in a routine. I mean, it took every ounce of energy and power I had for me to get up in the morning and go to work and put on a fake face.
Speaker: And and and do my job And then come home and I the last five years of our marriage I slept in the garage four or five almost. Yeah, almost five. I slept in the garage On my couch. I had my man cave set up down there. I slept in the garage on the couch I Didn't get invited out with friends, you know, that was part of her process of just mentally fucking me I was so broken and so just
Speaker: that and then I and then I had become a terrible dad. You know, fortunately the other two weren't quite old enough to remember, but my oldest one still does and we still that's that's something that we. We still dance with and struggle with as as father and daughter today because I'm sure she hasn't quite forgiven me and I haven't forgiven myself for it. You know, but that's one of those things that's that struggle that and I've gotten control and when I came back to Ohio.
Speaker: As bad as this sounds, and I don't mean this to sound bad, and I think my ex -wife would say the same thing. I think the best thing for both of us, because I can put the blame all on her if I wanted to, but it was not all her fault. It was both of our faults. We stayed together way longer than we should have for the kids, and it wound up doing more damage than good. But the day that she came to me and told me she was leaving me for somebody else, you want to talk about a weight being lifted off of somebody's chest.
Speaker: And I feel she felt the same way. Not only that, but my eyes were open to the fact that where, where, where I was headed back to, where I was at as a person and losing that control again. And at that moment in time, that first night in that house, all alone without the kids, I had to sit, well, okay, let me rephrase that. It was a few days later because
Speaker: That was the night that I had my third attempt, so to say. Um, and I knew that nobody would find me for a while. Um, a couple of days later or whatever sitting in the house, all alone in the quiet, I sat there and had to come to Jesus conversation with myself. And I'm not talking about in my head. I'm talking about out loud and out loud conversation with myself.
Speaker: And it was at that moment that I was like, I'm not doing this shit anymore. I can't, I'm working myself to death. I'm working 78 hours a week. I'm living in fucking Charleston. I've been here for 10 years and I never really got to truly experience Charleston because I was working so hard and everybody's seen me on Periscope because I had started streaming at that time and they seen a version of me, which is like, Oh yeah, look at fun, loving, happy, go lucky, Glick. Like.
Speaker: And there's a guy who comes in Mark who watches the show. I've known him since my periscope days and, and Kevin Holly and, and, and a few other people that are still around. And they never would have thought that I was going through the hell I was going through. Um, but I had that conversation with myself and it was like from that day forward. And when I came back to Ohio, as much as I hated it, I told myself, Hey, first and foremost, you're taking a day and you're unplugging.
Speaker: getting away from social media, you're not answering texts, you're not answering Snapchat's. You're just going to take that day to yourself and reset. And I've done it since I've been home five years now. And I've done that every Sunday since.
Speaker: even if it's getting online and playing video games, since I've met you guys, I look forward to seeing you guys pop up on Xbox because I'm like, oh, I'm going to get to play with Mark and Brian. This is going to be cool. We're terrible at that game, dude. Yeah, but we have fun and we have good conversations. And it's good to have that friendship or be able to have that communication, even when you're not talking about shit or making fun of each other.
Speaker: because I had lost that with... And that's the thing, man. It's like, you don't have to find me on Xbox, bro. I mean, you can text me, you can shoot me a message anytime and just be like, hey, bro, do you have a minute? Because I'll fucking talk. If I'm busy, I'll tell you, hey, listen, I'm busy. Can I like call you right back? But, you know, you are more than welcome to call me. Mark is the same way. Like all you guys, it doesn't matter who you are. If we're friends,
Speaker: If you have to talk to me about something, I'm not going to tell you I'm the, I'm the easiest guy to fucking talk to because I'm not, because I'm like a squirrel. I'm like, Oh shit. I gotta go over here real quick. We all are.
Speaker: I mean, we have to depend on one another because there's been times, man, it's, it gets to a point where I'm like, I don't even know what I want to do. Like I, I don't, I don't know. So then I, who do I reach out to? I got a friend of mine, Ashton, that I, that I say, Hey man, you, uh, you starting that business yet? You're going to start a new business because I want to do something different. I'm done. I just, I don't want to do this anymore. Yeah.
Speaker: And that's the big thing. I'm still waiting. I don't know how it is for you guys. Unfortunately, for me, I have a hard time reaching out. Not because I've got that macho man, I'm a man, I'll figure it out. But my thing is, I've let too many snakes in my yard throughout my life, if you know what I mean.
Speaker: So I've been bit too many times. We had that conversation the other day. Yeah. And I get it. I understand. That's why I told Mark, I don't want to open the podcast up to this big. I don't want to go that big and I want to have a bunch of people. And Mark's like, no, we got to have people on. And I get it. Yeah, we do. But if somebody starts to come behind us and they're like, hey, listen,
Speaker: I think I can do better or you need to get rid of this person or you need to do this. The only change that we ever had with our, our show is in the beginning. Cause I first, I would start the intro off and then, uh, I would start talking and then I stutter too much. So I changed it to where me and Brian talked and we were like, okay, uh, Brian's going to do it because he's
Speaker: You know, he's got that salesman part of them. So let's do that. He's got to have a quick response to everything. It sucks because I don't have it all the time. And sometimes I get to that point where I'm like, uh, what are we doing today? What's happening now? What are we doing? Who are we talking to? But you get the guest, right? The thing is, is it's, it's your show.
Speaker: and I told you I will just help you make it. It's always gonna be our show. It's your show and I'm always gonna make it the best show for you. That's it. Good. Fuck. Get us a guest then. No, that's you. You get to get the guest. Mark, just remember, if I can give you any piece of advice, you run your show like I run my show and I remind these guys all the time, it's my show and I do everything.
Speaker: You start that network, you're going to be doing a little bit more there, buddy. Hey, dude, my plate is filling up, but you know what? But I want to learn. I really want to learn. Brian and I were playing Call of Duty the other day and we were talking about the shows and I told him, I said, the great thing about you and Mark is just like Jeff and I and Connor, you know, and I always knew Connor would be a great addition to the show. It was just, you know, him getting everything situated and
Speaker: and getting everything and timing. Yeah, exactly. You know, you guys compliment each other and where Mark's week, Brian's strong and where Brian's week Mark's strong. And the same thing on our show. Only difference is Connor and Jeff are just all 100 % week and I'm all strong. And then, yeah, that sounds, that sounds exactly right. Listen to the center of the bowl.
Speaker: She just comes in does nothing sets back and then collects the reward you're my red white and blue maple leaf, buddy You make a great punching bag Hey You know Connor I I'm it, you know, I may be the punching bag. I may be your punching bag yet But you know what buddy? I wouldn't want to be anyone else's Even you Stephen you do a good job of coming in here and taking the shit that we give you we do give you a lot of shit, but
Speaker: Well, we all do. We all do because you know, that's the biggest day guy. He's not the guy that's going to fucking run into mommy. You can insert anything into that man's rectum and he'll take it with a smile on his face. Yes, I will. Oh, Jesus. Look, then he's like, yes, I will. No, you will. No, but I mean, at the end of the day, you have to have that. You have to have that.
Speaker: Agreed. Agreed, Michael. So damn true. The broadcasting is an endless, and I learned, I continue to learn every day. I'll listen back to shows and go, Ooh, I should do that differently. You know, I'm my own worst enemy. I'm my own worst critic. Listen, I tried the same thing. Mark tells me I don't watch the show. I'm like, why do you not watch our show? Go back and watch our show, Mark.
Speaker: because he did the show because I watch it live. So I don't watch it anymore because I will fucking tear myself out. Meanwhile, the whole time, I'm like, oh, man, Connor Connor got that zinger in there.
Speaker: And it went, and it kind of went like, while I'm tearing myself apart and critiquing the hell out of myself in my head, while I'm listening to the playback, I'm praising the hell out of like Connor and Jeff or when Steven's on there or whatever, like these guys are, but then it's like, I'm the fucking host and I'm dropping the, that's just how I, how I, I had to stop listening because I was beating myself up too much. It was like, you know what? And since I've stopped, I feel like, and I've had a couple of people comment,
Speaker: And not, not knowing, and this is a, this is why they're like, click, we don't know what happened or what changed, but you seem like a much better host now than you were six months ago. You always going to learn. You're going to change with everything else. Cause if you look at our very first episode and we went forward from there and I'd say, I actually, I'd say mid
Speaker: mid August of last year is when we started actually getting a hell of a lot better. Um, and it, it was because we didn't, you know, it was just something that clicked with us that, okay, we're going to do this different. We're going to do this different. Um, you know, we did add a few things to it. You know, every once in a while we'll have the green screen or I will, Brian uses it mostly all the time now.
Speaker: We tried doing pre -recorded ones and I just, I don't care for pre -recorded ones. Jeff and I, our first couple of episodes were pre -recorded and it was very hard. It was very hard to do and we just didn't like it. So we knew right off the rip, we wanted to do a live show.
Speaker: With StreamYard, if you go over an hour, you can't play it. So you have to have it at an hour. What do you mean an hour? Yeah. If you do a pre -recorded on StreamYard. Oh, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. OK, yeah, we weren't on StreamYard at the time. That was our problem. We could only do it an hour. That's why with Kyle, we told him an hour. We did a little less than an hour, so we didn't have to worry about condensing it or cutting something out.
Speaker: Oh, excuse me. The first one we ever did was, uh, with Batman of spring Hill. I'd like to have a redo on that one because I think he deserves better than what we did do. Oh yeah. But he chose to be outside in the dark and we know it's not just that though. I believe that, uh, he has more to it than what, you know, than what we're trying to get out of them. Yeah.
Speaker: and we all we you know we all have those moments as man I wish like like my biggest one you know we and I and I and I'll say this a million times shows you did you don't want to do ever again you're like well no no you want to redo you want to know that show that show sucked yeah like that's like my sandy johnson one and I think you should redo it you know I'm trying bro one of the guests that I was
Speaker: worked so hard to get. And I was so excited to get was Matt James lead singer of Blacktop Mojo. It's no fan. It's no secret. I'm a huge fan of the band. I love their music. I think they're one of the most underrated greatest rock bands of all time. And they're gonna blow up one day. But man, we had
Speaker: I had internet issues. Matt had internet issues. I had Jeff. I had Jeff issues. I would love a redo. And, and thanks to my music show, I might get that redo down the road. You know, Matt and I are already talking and I understand they're super busy. And we were talking the other day and I, and I told him, I said, I know you guys are busy. You're on tour. You got the new album coming out. I said, but.
Speaker: you know, even if, and that's one, and that's one show that, you know, if I have to, I'll pre -record it because I think it would be a great show to have, have the guys on talk about their music, where things are headed, you know, where things are going, play their songs and stuff like that, but actually have a good conversation with Matt because they're such good guys and they've, they've not only have, have they openly acknowledged and appreciated the support that we give them,
Speaker: They also support the show and they're always, you know, if I shoot them a question or if I ask them something or whatever, they're always right there. Quick to answer. You know, that's one that I would love to do a review on. But I had to stop listening to the replays because again, you know,
Speaker: they eat away at your confidence. Yeah, you know, being a mental, you know, being a mental health show and starting a show and not really knowing what you're doing. It, you know, listening to the replays, it's starting to eat at me, man, it's starting to live in my head rent free. So then when I start to do a show, in my mind, in the back of my mind, I'm already, you know, like, all right, I need to, excuse me, be mindful of this, mindful of that, watch this, don't do this.
Speaker: and it's killing the show. Like, like Bathurst just said down there in the comments, you know, the key is trusting the flow, you know, when things are flowing freely. And that was one of those, since I stopped listening to the show, man, it's just like, even, even when there's hiccups, cause I used to get mad as hell when there was internet fuckups or, you know, I would get so frustrated. And then, and then like the next day I would be like, I should just delete the show.
Speaker: You know, but the internet connection was on my end or Jefferson or Tony's end or Mike's end or whatever, but the rest of the show kept going just because one guy had an internet issue. The show kept going. You know what I mean? So, and again, it does, it eats at you and you start to beat yourself up and you start to create self doubt in your head and you start, you start doubting yourself and you know,
Speaker: I think that not only having a show like this, but also creating a quote unquote podcast community where we're all there to support each other and help each other and promote each other and be a part of each other's shows when we can be or whatever is not only great for the community because the podcast community is actually surprisingly a really good community at the end of the day.
Speaker: Um, yeah, there are, there are the bad apples out there, but the community itself is a really good community. Um, but to have a small circle, bless you. And I told Jarvis is the first night we had him, you know, on the show as a guest. That's what I want. I want to create that community where we are all doing the same thing, but we're there to support each other and to help each other grow and advance and move on. And if that means me creating,
Speaker: the network that I'm working on right now to single handedly put people on. Cause I don't want any, you know, like, like you guys, you know, you, you want to do the dare or the hot link or whatever, but I don't want you guys to beat yourself up because you do one and, and, and, and nobody shows up because we've had that. We're not worried about that. We, we could always talk about something on it. We'll figure something out. We never have a, we never have it. We turn it into a wrestling show or something like that. Let's go.
Speaker: you want to you want to talk about the single major like things that have ever happened? Hey, Mark, you want to tell the guys about the first time we interviewed Peter, what happened? Between the cat, you know, disconnecting to me, and then the battery on my computer died. And then I didn't record it.
Speaker: Didn't your phone, didn't your phone like fucking disintegrate too or like, it got so hot that it shut off or something? No, that was my computer. So then, so then the whole interview we did, and this was our first time meeting Peter, this was for the poor boys, wasn't it? Yeah. Yeah. This was for our poor boys podcast and.
Speaker: Peter's just like, well, I guess we're done. I'm just like, you like wrestling? And so me and him just sat there and bullshitted like it was still going on. And I came back in and then I was like, Oh shit, I didn't record this. Peter gave us a second chance. And, you know, ever since then I've been in touch with Peter Anthony further, you know, out of all this. And, you know, he's a great guy too. Um,
Speaker: But he was very patient with us and I told him, I told him when we started talking shit, I said, dude, I have a new podcast coming out and it's going to be called Talking Shit. I'd like you to be on it in a few weeks. He was like, no problem. Yeah, exactly. You know, and like I said, you know, it all, it all kind of circles in it. It all comes back to why I wanted to create this show, you know,
Speaker: And a lot of people, you know, like we have haters. I don't know if you guys have reached that, that, that level yet. Well, I don't think we're there. I don't think haters my whole life. No, we've only had haters that I didn't like, uh, one of our guests. That's it. Yeah. We, you know, we, we, we, we've had, we have haters. Um, and I used to get so worked up and aggravated and it's just like, if, and, and it took a friend of mine, you know, we, we were talking one day.
Speaker: And he was like, it was like, like, why are you, why, why, why are, first and foremost, I get very defensive of the show and I get very defensive of the guys, uh, on, on the show. Um, and it's like, like, why are you getting so worked up, man? And I was like, and I think, and I think a lot of people don't understand this. This is my dream. This, this is my dream. I have always wanted to be on the radio. I got bit by the bug.
Speaker: When I was 16 years old, I had an opportunity once upon a time to actually be on a very successful morning radio show in my area. But because I listened to everybody around me, my family, my ex wife, girlfriend at the time, and I was told that it was stupid and it was a dumb idea and that I needed to.
Speaker: get a real job and provide for my family. And, you know, mind you, the two gentlemen who hosted the show, they were making six figures a year, six figures, well over six figures a year. And these are two guys that fucking murdered Howard Stern in the ratings. Howard Stern is your top dog. And in our area, they absolutely shit on Howard Stern and Bob and Tom. So it's like,
Speaker: You guys have to realize that this has been a dream of mine since I was 16 years old and for years. And when podcasting started becoming a thing, I was still married. I told my ex, wow, man, I want to start a podcast. Why that's stupid. That's dumb. It's not going to go anywhere. So it was buried. You know what I mean? And then.
Speaker: Now we have it. And it's like, I'm finally, I'm 42 years old and I'm chasing a God damn dream. As dumb as it sounds. You lied. You lied to me. You told me you were 22. I made 22. I mean, uh, 22. Honestly believe that Sasquatch Tony, the tiger looking motherfucker was 22 years old. Hey, listen, better. 22. I'm going to say it.
Speaker: to answer his question. Yes, the more that I'm sitting here, or anytime I'm in an interview, except if, you know, there are some that I get tongue tied talking to. Yes, I get more comfortable as time goes on talking. We don't know the guest last name. Well, that was one part of their podcast name. Yeah, that was
Speaker: You know what, Mark? You know what, Mark? I came on here. Actually, I've done it on here and I've done it on my music show. I've started the show and gone, Oh, shit. This is Monday. Welcome to men, Karen, for men. Welcome to nonsensical. Nope. It's Friday. Welcome to Glick's House of Music. It's just like, what the hell is the name of my goddamn show? What day is now? Mark asked me to do a commercial for the show.
Speaker: So I did a commercial for the show. I sent Mark all the outtakes. He has all the outtakes. I'm pretty sure we did something like 42 times and I was like, this is bad, dude. I can't figure this out. You and I were just talking about that. So when I make a TikTok video or if I do a reel or something like that for a show promotion,
Speaker: I wish you guys could see how many, how hard it really, and I think Brian saying, you know, 42 outtakes, you know, something like that. I delete that shit because I'll admit, and it kills me because I'll be like, and I'm sure you went through this. I'm rolling. I'm rolling. I got like an awesome three minute promo. And then I, right at the end, and then it's just like frozen. Ah,
Speaker: Every time it was it was a certain time during the whole commercial type or ad that he had just he would be like, oh, fuck, no. Every time I was listening, like, nope, this is I'm not know one, but I kept them all and I said, you know what, I'm just going to keep them.
Speaker: because maybe I can edit something here. So if you do it again, if you go to do something, just keep it. Just keep whatever you think is bad. You gotta keep whatever's bad. You gotta keep that part. I was trying to find them during our first anniversary show. I was trying to find them, but I couldn't find them. I have them on my phone. Just a whole long real thing. Connor up here being quiet.
Speaker: the the
Speaker: Uh, Mark, you know, I loved having Mark on our show. I loved being on poor boys with him, but honestly, his best creative shit that he's done has been talking shit. Hands down. And like I told a certain someone at a certain network when he was asking me, well, why did you and Mark, uh, break up or something? I said, Mark has to do what he's got to do because you know what? Creatively.
Speaker: Smartest fucking guy in the room And not saying that just because he's here. I'm saying that because it's a goddamn truth. I mean honestly, it's If you really want to know if most of this stuff is done because I have a salesman as a co -host and he can sell Everything yes, but you also have to admit to you created three shows and
Speaker: Like, the Jarvis podcast is because you told me to go out and do it. Right. But you created that show. That was just putting a whole bunch of shit up your ass and telling you to do it. Oh, come on. Oh my god. Is that what you did to me? You cocksucka? No, I didn't have to ask you. You're the one that asked me. You want to do this or not?
Speaker: Yes, I'll admit that you know, I didn't know anything about a podcast. And I was like, Oh, that sounds like fun. And me and my wife talked about it. And I said, Hey, so I think I want to think I want to do a podcast. And my wife was like, Why? I was like, I don't know. Sounds like fun. It's kind of like DJ and for
Speaker: you know, for talking to the guests and stuff. And she was like, okay, if you want to do that, that's fine. And when we first started doing it, we weren't sure if we wanted it to be a, you know, type of having guests on, or if we were going to do it a different other way. Um, if we wanted to come up with topics, topics, you can come up with other ones, you know, interviews or,
Speaker: interesting too. I just came up with a great idea though. I'm going to get a dictionary out and I'm going to thumb through the pages. Pick a word. We have to use the word on the entire show. Throughout the entire show, we have to use the word. Come on, tell me this is not going to be awesome, bro. Just don't make it a hard word. Something I can't say. Make it super califragic, XBL, Adosha, please. I dare you. I will pay 20 bucks for that. And I probably fucked up that word.
Speaker: You people's lack of ability to say that word is fun. OK, you know how long ago it's been since I watched that fucking that guy over there. That guy over there. He can't say it. That guy that guy over there. He can't say it. Oh, and it's super califlet. Super. Oh, you can say it. Can you super califragilisticexpialidocious? That one super califragilisticexpialidocious. See? Yes.
Speaker: that driving force for my, go ahead, Mark. No, I want to hear yours. I want to hear your, uh, on that part. God. And Mark and Brian actually asked me this when I was on their show, uh, the whole driving force behind me doing my podcast was to prove that anyone can do one. Um, you know, at first people want to really listen to a shit show.
Speaker: go listen to the first couple episodes I did on my own before I asked Mark to help me, even when my wife was helping me. I mean, it was quality shit. And I'm not saying good. I'm saying like, if I were to ever have went on a network at that point, I would have gotten fired within a second. But
Speaker: you need that to boost your confidence up to get to where I am today. And I know I'm on Zen caster where I'm about seven away from 10 ,000 listens all time. And that's because the amazing support I got from the community, from my friends, um, maybe a little bit of, you know, that maybe, why are you doing that to people?
Speaker: You can't do that. Stop it, Steven. You got to learn to use these things. Steven, Steven, leave people's personal bubbles alone. Shut up, Connor. No means no. OK, we're not going to even go there. Listen, listen, the reason I'm on this show is because I used to shoot quarters out of my ass over at Abercrombie and Chris and I would see how far I could I could snipe somebody from across the warehouse.
Speaker: I wish I could have seen that. Oh, but no, I always wanted to get into the radio business in the end and went to school for it. And now I graduated with that. And now listen, we all have a face for radio. So there you go. I don't know about that with me. Speak for yourself now. I'm fucking hot. The reason why I started doing the podcast. Actually, if you guys give me one second, I know you went off.
Speaker: No, someone asked a question. Yeah, I know the question. It got really weird with quarters and buttholes and stuff like that. See, this is why he's the host, Jack Potter. This is why he's the host and you pointed to nobody. I'm not going to. I'm not going to play mine. I'm not going to host like a full blown break or anything like that. But I do want to just take a second just to address, address the sponsors, if you will. Ladies and gentlemen, speaking of podcasting,
Speaker: why you started podcasting or if you're doing podcasting or anything like that. And if you'd like to make your life a little bit easier, maybe
Speaker: You know, grow if you're, if you're, obviously our, our, our end game is growing at the end of the day. There's a, um, a website out there that their number one goal is to help podcasts, uh, broadcasters or streamers grow, no matter how big or small you are. We've been using them now for the last several months and she's Louise. Uh, the numbers are insane. I can't believe it. Uh, but it's called Zincaster.
Speaker: It's super easy to use, and it literally has everything you need right there on the website. It's an all -in -one location. You don't have to buy a whole bunch of crazy equipment. You're always going to look and sound your best. Head on over to zincaster .com slash pricing. Use our promo. Good words are hard. You're going to get 30 % off your first month's paid plan. Check it out. Give it a try for 30 days. Let us know what you think.
Speaker: Like I said, we've been using it and I know Stephen sues in it and I love it. The numbers don't lie at the end of the day. Anyways, um, Bathurst ask the question and I know we're getting there. We're kind of getting a roundabout way. Squirrel squirrel squirrel everywhere in the room. What was the driving force for doing, for you doing the podcast? So, and I know Mark was getting ready to say something. So Mark, if you want to go ahead and continue, I didn't mean to interrupt, but I just wanted to get Brian's got to take off.
Speaker: I gotta run guys. Okay. I'm going to, I'm going to let you guys take over from here. You got this? I'll do my best. I fucking love you guys. Enjoy it. Thank you for having us. Thank you for having me. And I do appreciate you. I'll see you guys very soon. Absolutely Brian. Have a good night. All right. The reason, um,
Speaker: I wanted to do the podcast because I wanted to talk to people that I would never have talked to in my whole life. You know, I've gotten CJ Graham, I've gotten Tom Matthews, I've gotten Sunil Lutus, or Lutus, sorry. I've had Warren Murray Taylor, I've had so many great guests that I would never have thought about. I never would have met them or talked to them or got autographs from them.
Speaker: There are still others that I want on the show. I just got to work the timing out. But that was the main reason why I wanted to do the podcast. Plus, it was to do, you know, with Brian, it was to do something with Brian because we've never done anything like this before. With Steven, it was to help Steven out because I thought he needed somebody that he could bounce stuff off of and it would work out great.
Speaker: Um, other than that, there, there was no other driving force. I just want to keep doing this as long as, you know, Brian wants to, because once Brian's done, I'm done. Um, I don't want to, you know, talking shit wouldn't be the same, you know, having somebody else take his spot. So it's one of those things. He may say it may be my show, but no, it's our show.
Speaker: And I tell the guys all the time, you know, I joke around and you know about the whole my show, you know, but you know, I make it very clear and I always try my best to say our show, our show. This is our thing. This is what we are doing. This is, this is something that we're doing together. Jarvis, I know you kind of said it, but what, and I know there's a lot of squirrels going on there, but you know,
Speaker: for you personally, I mean, to, to ask what Michael asked, what Bathurst asks is the driving force. And I would like to put that question right back on Bathurst. If you're still in here, I want to put that question right back on you. So go ahead and drop your answer in the comment. I'm going to hit you with the UNO reverse card there, big boy. But before I say I got a big announcement, um,
Speaker: Like I said earlier, I was close to 10 ,000 plays on the podcast. I am now over 10 ,000 plays. I sent that to you Glick. I was going to send it to Mark and I forgot, but, uh, the driving force, as I said, it was, it was not only to deal with my mental health issues and my shyness, but it was also to show anyone that no matter where you're from, your background, whatever.
Speaker: you can do this. I mean, ultimately, that's all it was about. I love, you know, content creating, even though I stuck at editing my own stuff, like doing radio school was pretty much the driving force of everything I wanted to do as a content creator, because at one point I had a YouTube gaming channel, I quit doing that because it's like, well, I'm not getting anywhere.
Speaker: Then I went to Twitch gaming channel, wasn't getting anywhere there. Then I did the podcast. Well, Mark was a part of the podcast. My wife, Alyssa was a part of the podcast and I've been doing it on my own ever since then. And then.
Speaker: friend of mine who I met at my mom's wedding over this last summer uh talked me to bring me back into twitch gaming which was kind of like the Michael Corleone in part three every time I get out they pull me back in it's kind of like this show you know every time it's like I'm about ready to tell Glick I'm done I'm done being Connor's bitch and it's like no you're coming back and you know uh
Speaker: I love it. I mean, you know, there's a lot of people out there that gate keep a lot of content creators that are very, very good. And there's a lot of people I've seen in our comments try and do it. I don't like it, but you know what? Hey, it's their thing at the end of the day. But you know what? Content creation, podcasting, Twitch gaming, YouTube gaming, it's a big universe. We should all be helping each other. Yeah, there's going to be those people that are going to be like, hey, help me.
Speaker: piggyback, let me piggyback off you and then stab you in the back. Them are the ones that are going to fail so quickly that no one's going to remember. They're just going to remember that they piggybacked off you and then fell off the fucking earth. And I'll still help those people out, but at the same time, like I'm where I'm supposed to be. I agree a hundred percent. And then I feel like there's been people who have done that. They've, and I'm not, and I'm not putting nonsensical nonsense on a pedestal by no means.
Speaker: You know, we are what we are. But I feel like there's people out there who have. There's two numbers. Are you going to eat them? No, no, no. OK, yeah, is Brian coming back now? Yeah, he left for that. But.
Speaker: There's been people who have been a part of the show, people who I have supported. I feel like they jumped on our coattails and was riding our coattails. And it is what it is at the end of the day. But Connor, you're the newest one to the game. And I would like to ask you, before I answer the question, Bathurst put the question in the chat in the chatters box.
Speaker: What is the driving force for you at doing a podcast? What is it that basically what made you want to get into the podcast game other than me? Well, for me to answer the question honestly, love it or not, you are a part of it, Chris. When we were at Abercrombie, I would tell Chris,
Speaker: very often, probably every time we work together, that he needed his own radio show. One oh six five, the Glick. And that sounds like the worst I could I could see that station ever. Yeah. And and so because he does, he has the voice for radio. He's got the face for radio. And so that would pay him, though. Glick, this says that everyone's handsome. Anyway,
Speaker: uh genuinely it was because I saw you doing it Chris and I needed an outlet um and you offered to have me on the show for a night and I came in for one night and I just had I had a phenomenal time and I got to bullshit and I got to forget about a whole lot of things that I was just trying to not think about and then um
Speaker: the the
Speaker: what really sold it for me to come in here and try and figure out a way to make this essentially a full -time or as full -time as I can be with three kids and my wife who works and me who doesn't was that it was the perfect outlet for me to get away. And as I proved to myself last week, I need it. It's been,
Speaker: Thank you, Michael. It's been unbelievably therapeutic for me to be able to come here and let loose and be as off the chain, unhinged, ridiculous, stupid, and serious as I want to be when I want to be it. I get to be real. I get to be me. I get to say very off the wall shit.
Speaker: And I also get to get to talk about some of the things that bug me and that really that fuck with me. And that's what the show is to me. And that's why I wanted to be a part of it.
Speaker: first and foremost. Thank you, Connor, for those nice words at the beginning. He's not wrong, because we used to talk about that, and we'd joke around, and we would cut radio promos at work. The TikToks at work. Connor and I, just from the day we met each other, we just
Speaker: We just thoroughly enjoyed each other's presence. We were just hilarious because the first time I saw you, I thought you were a giant prick. I was like, this dude's a Harley riding douchebag just fucking doesn't care about anybody. I bet he's had three divorces and fucking hates the world. And I don't want to be a part of it. I was so wrong. Well, you've had one. Yeah, we absolutely enjoyed being around each other. We enjoyed working together. I know I look forward to the days that we got to
Speaker: hang out and work together. And we would, we would joke around and cut those radio promos.
Speaker: Uh, I am not a Steelers fan. I'm a Browns fan. First and foremost, my fiance is a Steelers fan. However, in her defense, yes, she has special needs, but she's from the Pittsburgh area. Yes. She's, she's from about an hour. Hey, Hey, Hey, hold up. I have, I have to stop you there. Brian, my co -host is a Steelers fan. And as we all know, he has special needs as well. Hey, yeah.
Speaker: We've all met Brian. We all know he has special needs. He was a Marine, right? No, he was Navy. Navy. Oh, that was good. He was swapping the backpack. You know, I got into streaming. Like I said, being on the radio or having a radio show is a dream of mine. As crazy as it sounds, as silly as it sounds, maybe it might sound dumb to others. But that's a dream of mine. I got into streaming.
Speaker: I started on Periscope when the day Periscope dropped, I was on there. For me, not only is it an outlet, not only is it a way for me to be me and express my feelings and have a good time and meet new and interesting people at the same time, there's a big part of me that
Speaker: I want to be, I want to be an influence to people. I want people to, you know, understand that no matter what it is that you want to do. I'm 42 years old. I got three kids. I'm divorced and I have my kids full time. Um, you know, no matter what light, and I've been through hell and back, man, I, you know, I'm not a veteran. You know, I can't say that I've seen and done the things that our veterans have done, but I've walked through hell and back.
Speaker: on multiple occasions, I've walked through hell and back. And after the first time, now I walked through there with a big, stupid grin on my face. And, and, and I watched the devil tremble, you know, but I wanted to, I just, I've always had a big personality, you know, people that knew me when I was growing up and knew me in high school, they're like, Glick, you can walk into a room of 20 ,000 people and
Speaker: Within five minutes, everybody would be watching you. Everybody's eyes would be on you, their ears would be on you, and you didn't even mean to do it. So for me, this is just natural. This is natural. This is my natural habitat. This is my environment. This is where I thrive, doing the live podcast and doing the podcast. Blake, put that comment up. Yeah, that one. And yes.
Speaker: There you go. Everybody'll know who you are. Sweet tattoos. All right. I like showing them off. I'm telling you, the motherfucker needs a Harley. It's the only thing he's missing in his life right now. Hey, listen here. Okay. First and foremost, I'll never own a Harley. Second of all, I do want a motorcycle, but it'll be an Indian. Uh, I was about to say it's going to be an Indian. Third of all, Brendan, how's those, uh, how's those ladies in the cages in your boiler room? Don't think we don't know.
Speaker: But like you don't remember there, Freddy Krueger. And we have our, uh, we have our, um, I, I believe it's the, well, shit. Oh yeah. He he's, I'm trying to remember which service, uh, the coast guard, I believe, um, that's our coast guard right there. So we don't have to worry about that for the show. Well, I mean, I'll still reach because, because Cam's dad's a little bit, a lot older. So, you know, I'll still reach out.
Speaker: Oh, no, it's good. It's good because you know, it's different versions of each one. I would like to have somebody younger and then older because then you can see what's the difference between the military and men there. They put the latest on it. Brendan, by the way, the vet show will be a two -part show. Part one on talking shit and part two on men caring for men. So you're going to have to pull double duty. But you know, I think for me, I haven't told them that part yet. Not only the fact that
Speaker: I love doing this. This is, I have such a huge passion for this. I really do. I love what I'm doing, but also it gives me a way, it's also a way for me to give back and to reach out and to meet people, you know, not why, you know, I've known Connor, but I, you know, Connor to give him the ability to, to eventually, you know, take
Speaker: Eventually I want Connor to take over this show and be the host of this show and I'll be the co -host. But to give him that, but also to be able to support other people around me like Jarvis and help Jarvis get that confidence and build that confidence and help him grow and support him and whatnot. And then the same thing with you guys, with Mark and Brian, we're talking shit, you know.
Speaker: It allows me to, because like Connor said, his first impression of me just looking at me was, God, he's a prick.
Speaker: I'm actually a very caring guy and the people that I bring into my circle, I'm very protective of. And I also, I will promote and I will push you guys to be better than me in any way possible. Like at the end of the day, if I push you guys ahead of me, that's my goal. And that's another reason that I got into the streaming and the broadcasting. Not hard to do.
Speaker: And then in the podcasting, because I mean what I say when I am a cuddler, actually I'm a big old cuddler. When I first, uh, when I first invited you guys onto the show, I was like, okay. Um, I didn't know who you guys were. I didn't see any of your material. Steven was the one that pushed for it to say, Hey, look, you need to, because I know that it would be worth them being on your show.
Speaker: And then when I, when I, when you said yes, and then we had to change the date, um, I won't tell you who you were bumped by, but, um, I don't care. Exactly. It wasn't a f*****g puppet. No, we didn't have one that week. We, uh, Brian's wife had to go over to Daytona to get her, uh, uh, something medical done.
Speaker: And, uh, you know, I was like, I was like, okay, you know, we'll do it. And you were easy going like that. You said, no problem. I I'm, I'm flexible. I'm like, shit. So then Stephen was telling me more about you guys. And I'm like, okay, it's more interesting. And I still never watched your stuff until you guys came on the show. Uh, the day that you came on the show, that's when I watched something of yours. I can't remember what it was.
Speaker: Uh, but we never even talked about that video or anything that I was, it was like, okay, we're going to talk about any, it went the way we wanted to, because we didn't have to ask questions. It was, we were just talking.
Speaker: Yeah. And that made it a hell of a lot easier. And when you have questions for your guests, it's like, uh, no, that's how me and Brian first started out. We asked question after question after question. We wanted them to start, we'd ask a question and let them go through it all. And then, you know, go off of what they said, instead of writing the shit down all the time, we would do this and that. And I'm like, okay, well, that's great. And then when you were talking to us.
Speaker: couple weeks back about the network. You know, I was like, um, you know, we got shit on by one network. We weren't sure, but I mean, we're more willing to talk more about it with you than we would anybody else. And, and, and, and, and I'm gonna put this out there right now. It don't matter how I, like, I, nonsensical nonsense, like we could reach Joe Rogan status.
Speaker: And I don't care how, and this is how I feel right now, and this is never gonna change. I don't care how big or small a podcast is or a TikToker or a Instagram or Facebook or whatever, whatever you do, for you to invite me on the show, first and foremost, for somebody to invite me on their show is like, or invite us on the show. And I say me because nine times out of 10,
Speaker: He's not going to be able to make it. And I'll mention it to Connor and Connor's like, I'll try where, you know, if, if, if the show is, I'm going to represent the show at the end of the day, I'm going to represent the show. If the guys can be there, obviously I want the guys that are more than anything.
Speaker: But at the end of the day, it's a huge honor and it's a privilege because it's kind of cool that other people are like, wow, we would like to have you on our show. But also at the same time, my mindset instantly goes to, I get to promote them. I get to share them. I get to introduce them to our audience or other people who may not know about them. It's not like, oh, I'm so important that they want to interview me. No, my first initial thought is,
Speaker: I can I can support these guys. I can I can share these guys out to an audience that may not know about them So i'm always super easy to do it And you know, I was always been one to you know, i'd sit there and think you know Going on somebody else's show even you know, even if me and brian made it big and whatnot You know, I would still go on somebody else's show And talk and not charge them You know because there's a lot of people out there that all they're in for is the money
Speaker: And well, a little do they know they have to, you know, do a lot of, you know, horn themselves out just to get that money. Yeah. Some people are lucky that, you know, they get that following right away. Yeah. We're still waiting to hit that thousand followers on Facebook. Cause as soon as we hit that, we're going to do a giveaway and we're waiting for that. But we're, we're stuck at seven 19. Yeah. So.
Speaker: We're, you know, we got a little ways to go before we hit that house in, but when we do, it's going to be an interesting giveaway. Yeah. You know, and, and, and, and, and that's the thing, you know, like for me, you know, yeah, we, you know, I, you know, we, obviously everybody wants to grow. You know, my, my thing is we're going to grow at our own pace, but I'm going to do it the right way. I'm not going to go out and I'm not going to buy followers. I'm not going to be fake. Um,
Speaker: We can say a lot of things about me. One thing that nobody can ever say about me or about our show, about the guys on our show, is that we're fake. I'm not gonna be fake. And it kind of sort of pertains to it. One of the Robin Williams quotes that always really resonated for me and always hit really hard for me and hits very close to home is when he said, I think the saddest people always
Speaker: try their hardest to make people happy. Because they know what it's like to feel absolutely worthless. And they don't want anyone else to ever feel like that. I may have misquoted that, hopefully I didn't, but that's one of my favorite quotes by Robin Williams. And it doesn't necessarily pertain to why I enjoy meeting other podcast hosts or other shows or other broadcasters.
Speaker: but it's kind of along those same lines because I know what it's like to go through the struggle and climb this mountain. I'm climbing this mountain. And if I can make your journey a little bit easier, then I'm going to do it. And that's what I said. If I can push somebody to be more successful than me, and I think that's why a lot of people get this misconception about me. I'm very passionate. And with passion comes maybe being a little aggressive.
Speaker: You know, maybe being a little crazy at times, but at the end of the day, and we've had former members of this show that just did not understand, I will do everything under the sun to push you and get you ahead of me in the game, because I don't want you to go through the struggles that I'm going through with this podcast thing. And it's not that,
Speaker: I don't, it's not that I'm mad or I'm jealous or anything like that. I'm just, I'm just, I'm just taking my own journey, you know, like at the end of the day, but if, if along my journey, I can come across people like Jarvis or you and Brian and, and, and, and elevate you guys, I'm all about it. That's what I said. I don't care how big or small a content creator is.
Speaker: It's an honor for them to say, Hey, we'd love to, we, we like what you guys do. Would it be cool? Would you guys be willing to come on and hang out with us? Absolutely. Absolutely. Because at the end of the day, that means I get to share you guys to our audience. I get to talk about you guys and promote you guys to our audience at the end of the day. And that's probably one of the biggest reasons that I'm, that, that, you know, that I'm, that I'm doing what I do and doing the show. And, uh, and, and, and especially this men can for men, this men's mental health thing.
Speaker: I fell into a rabbit hole and, and I got pissed because you see these people that have millions of followers and millions upon millions of dollars, you know, revenue coming in and they act. They, they, they, they're just fucking scumbags. And the moment they get into a little bit of trouble, they want to go, well, I have depression and I have anxiety and, and I have blah, blah, blah. And I have this and I have that.
Speaker: And I have an addiction to, to alcohol and I have an addiction to this. And it's like, no, you don't. Now you're just saying the things that people want to hear you say. So there's your followers come back. Or they'll say that, uh, they had a bad childhood. Um, you know, in 90 % of them that, well, I can't say 90, but probably about 35 % of them don't even know what it's like to have a bad childhood. Well, you know, I, uh,
Speaker: I gotta say one thing and it it may boost Glick's ego may boost Connors ego. I am very humble 100 % that when these guys and it was Glick and Connor and Brian that did this show. Now. They didn't need another.
Speaker: co -host or whatever I am a part of this show. I usually just sit in the back anyway. And then Connor, when he gets a funny joke or something, he's like, Hmm, wonder if this will work on Jeremy, she or Jarvis. And you know, I have to tell people this, I did have a lot of trouble agreeing to it at first. I mean, Glick, when he first asked me, he's like,
Speaker: You don't have to give me an answer right now. Just come watch it. And I, I didn't know what men caring for men was. I was just told it was a mental health show and that they opened up. And I was just like, I consulted my wife. I talked with Mark about it a little bit. I didn't tell Mark what the show was. I just said, Hey, you know, there's this new show out there. And they kind of asked if I would want to be on it. And.
Speaker: And I told Mark, I said, but if I turn it down, you know, I, if he won, I could kind of hype you guys up, you know? Cause I, I, I always want to give other people opportunities more than I want to give myself. And I just finally told Glick, I said, okay, only under one condition. I said, if I'm never able to open up on the show,
Speaker: You have to get rid of me because I said it would be a disservice to Glick, to Connor, to guests, to Brian, to whoever comes on the show. I said, if they're going to be real, I have to be real with them because at the end of the day, not only is this called men caring for men, but it's a show about four people
Speaker: that are talking about stuff that is happening in their lives or has happened in their past, being honest about it. And we come out and we say we're not experts, but we want to show and break down the stigma of mental health. Actually, I told Jeravishi there was one condition to him being on the show. And that was he had to continue to do the cup, the cradle and tickle. I figured it would be calling you the champ. Steven.
Speaker: I will cite our last episode of Men Caring for Men. You have opened up on this show, but even so, I don't think that Glick and I could possibly kick you off of the show.
Speaker: You do a really good job of what I think this show is really meant for. And that is not necessarily opening up and having the worst childhood and having a pissing contest about that. But you do a really good job of adding what we're thinking.
Speaker: What men are thinking that's all this is all the show is really supposed to be about it's why it's men caring for men Not that women aren't great. It's it's guys. It's guys talking to guys about fucking guy shit Well, it's it's it's it's and we had this conversation and I've said it a million times and I'll say it every time on this show Amen to you brother. It's it's There's a stigma on men's mental health for a reason
Speaker: Men don't feel comfortable talking and opening up and showing vulnerability for a reason, because we were taught our entire lives that we're not allowed to. And I've, and I've made the comment and I know that it irks a lot of people when I say this, but you're going to have to fucking deal with it. And you're going to have to understand I'm onto something here. All right. I'm taking back the phrase man up, man up has, it has a negative context to it.
Speaker: Google that shit. Look at the definition. The definition of manning up is to be courageous, be brave, do things that other people won't do. So when I say that we are manning up because we are doing the things that nobody else is willing to do and we're not doing it for likes. We're not doing it for clicks. We're not doing it for follows. Yeah. We want people to watch the show. Yeah. We want people to follow the show. But at the end of the day, this is about healing. This is the, the journey to healing is a long journey at the end of the day.
Speaker: And it's not easy and it's really not easy when you feel like you're doing it alone at the end of the day, regardless of if you, you know, God bless your wife, Connor and Mark and Steven and my fiance. We got very strong women in our lives and they're there and they, you know, they, they want to support us, but that in our minds, we will only go so far with them.
Speaker: We will only open up so much with them because we don't want them to carry the burden or carry the cross that we are carrying. So when you put a group of guys together who are willing to have the conversations, have the tough conversations and go to areas that people are not, and not do it just to get likes on social media, but to do it for real, because not only are we healing, you know,
Speaker: Jarvis is healing. Connor's healing. Mark's still healing from his Lord knows I'm going through it. I'm going through it every day. I'm still healing. I still battle my demons. I still battle the darkness. I still have moments of weakness, but we're, we're, we're taking that journey on head on and we're doing it together and we're supporting each other. And I've only known Mark for a very short, short period of time. I've only known Jarvis for a short period of time. I mean, in all honesty, I've only known Connor for a couple of years.
Speaker: Three, four years, something like that. Yeah, something like two, three, four years, something like that. Abercrombie was, feels like it was forever ago. But at the end of the day, the fact that we are willing to do this show and we are willing to have a conversation and like tonight was huge for Mark because like Mark said, he's never showed anybody that picture. No, I've only shown it. I've only showed his flex view until the other day. I didn't show my, Brian never seen it.
Speaker: You know, we put that picture up on the show and he shared his story. And Mark, I don't know how many people you shared that story with or anything like that. About a handful. You opened up to the Internet world at the end of the day. You know, we might get five listens. We might get a million listens. But you opened up and that's what this show is about. The show is about
Speaker: Men caring for men, like goddamn, it's high time that we do what we can and be real and do our part to get rid of that stigma and to erase that stigma and erase the negativity between man and up because at the end of the day, any man that comes on this show is man and up. You're being brave, you're being courageous, and you're willing to do something that nobody else is willing to do. And I mentioned,
Speaker: these big content creators that do this shit. And they're part of the problem. They're part of the reason why there is a stigma to to men's mental health. Why men's mental health is a fucking joke. Because they don't say nothing about it until they get in trouble. Holy shit, you're a ginger. We have we have we've exceeded our ginger limit. Jarvis, you're kicked off the show.
Speaker: I knew it was going to happen. Fuck it. No, I just had a flashback. It is going to be a quick journey. This is not going to be easy. But, you know, and the crazy thing about it, one of the things that led me to to actually proceed through
Speaker: Words are hard everyone words are hard proceeding with this show and creating this show It's the number of guys that during nonsensical nonsense That have been like enter in the chat box and be like hey click and Jeff I just want to let you guys know that I've been going through some shit right now and had it not been for you guys I wouldn't have got through and we were just being fucking chuckleheads and
Speaker: But we were just being fucking chuckleheads at the end of the day. We weren't doing anything serious. And there were guys out there that were going through hell, divorce, work situations. COVID kicked a lot of people's asses. No matter how you feel about COVID or what your stance is on COVID or anything like that, there were guys out there listening to nonsensical nonsense that we didn't even realize we were helping them.
Speaker: And now those same guys have come back since we've started this show and said, holy shit, Glick. Where was this a year ago? Where was this two years ago, man? And it's just like, hey, but at the end of the day, that's what we're doing. We're taking this journey together and I've had conversations with my son,
Speaker: about and I've said this and I've said this before too. I've had conversations and and and Mark, you said you have a son, right? Yeah. How would your son if you don't mind me asking? He'll be well, he's eighteen be nineteen in a few months. Wow. And and and O 'Connor's got two boys. They're they're young but speaking of my sons, everybody are my son. My son. Yes, you are my only son. Sorry. Speaking of my son. Good everyone. They shall appear. Yeah.
Speaker: Well, you're my only son period. I promise you. Well, yeah. Oh, no. No. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I do have I do have Christopher and Jay now. I was going to say my my heart broke a little bit. I I I got bonus sons.
Speaker: Uh, yeah, I feel like, I feel like Connor and Jarvis are basically Connor could be my son. No, I did. I was very fortunate. I, you know, with Nikki and I being together, I did, I did inherit two bonus sons, but they're grown and she did an amazing job raising two fantastic boys. Uh, now I just get to reap the benefits because they're 24 and.
Speaker: 25 and 23 or something like that, I think so. But I've had the conversation with my son. We were watching Guardians of the Galaxy 3. And I don't know if you guys have seen that movie, but it's in the most roller coaster. And we got done watching the movie, and he was like, yeah, that was a good movie. And I was like, yeah, actually, really good. And we were talking about it. And he was like, I've seen you crying, by the way. And I was like, shut up. I've seen you crying.
Speaker: And, uh, I was like, I was like, you know, it's okay to cry, right? Like if something was sad or, you know, something like that, or if it's, I was like, it's okay to cry. You know that, right? And he was like, Oh, it's absolutely, it's cool to cry. I said, I said, do you, do you think, I said, do you think, uh, I think I said, do you think I'm, I'm any weaker because I cried in that movie. He was like, I mean, I wouldn't have my friend's dad come over here and pick a fight with you. And I was like, yeah, I was like, it doesn't make you weak because you show emotion.
Speaker: or you're having a bad day and you, you know, you, you need a moment. You need a minute to yourself. Like that doesn't make you weak, dude. Like you're still same person. You always are. You just, you have emotions and that's okay because it took me a long time to learn that I have emotions and I'm allowed to have emotions, believe it or not, men were allowed to have emotions regardless of what anybody says. We are emotional creatures and we're allowed to have those emotions.
Speaker: That's something that I had a big struggle with last week. So we had our episode on Monday last week about trauma. And ironically, later that week, I had a therapy appointment. We talked about some stuff, not real fun to talk about.
Speaker: I had a absolute mental breakdown in the middle of the day and I'm a stay at home dad.
Speaker: And I have three kids that are all young. I have a seven -year -old, well, he's seven tomorrow, well, in two hours, a five -year -old and a one -year -old daughter. And I had an absolute fucking come apart. I was crying. I was cussing. I was yelling. I was throwing shit. And I came to my senses for a second, and I went out to the garage. I was like, I'll be right back. I wasn't yelling at you boys. I'll be right back. And I came back, and I was just trying to hold it together.
Speaker: And Carson, my oldest son, walked up to me and he gave me a huge hug. And he said, it's okay, dad. It's okay to cry. It's okay to be upset. I know it happens to everybody. You're okay. I'm like, dude, this kid's seven. Then he gets it. And that was, whew, when your kid looks at you after you have an absolute breakdown,
Speaker: and says, it's okay, dad. Like I was out in the garage and he opened the garage door and he was like, are you okay? And I was like, I'm okay. I just need to, I smoked some pot and I took an anxiety pill and it's calm down a little bit. It took like five, 10 minutes out there. And I walked back in and he was just like, it's okay. And I couldn't stop apologizing because in my brain, no matter what anybody tells me, I can never get,
Speaker: it out of my head that it's not okay to cry in front of your kids. It's not okay to lose it in front of your kids. It's not okay to show that part of you to your kids. And my son was like, no. Like my seven year old said, dad, stop. You're, it's okay. And it blew my mind. It also made me really proud of my kid. And that's a great thing about our generation. Well, not even our generation, because again, Connor, you're in your twenties.
Speaker: the job is in his thirties and Mark and I are both in our forties the the the the
Speaker: it takes it takes a while for and you can't see it because the lights reflecting and stuff like that but I got just take that L just you can't see it through the bouquet but it's it looks good bro. I was I did not that you guys can see it. Thank god but I was I don't know we can see it in your beard. I was in my beard II. I was sending a Snapchat to Nikki and I said we don't want to know that type of Snapchat. Sorry. I wasn't that kind of
Speaker: I was like, look at all the gray in my hair, like on my head, like the head on my shoulders. I was like, oh my God.
Speaker: And like, I started, so I started going gray a couple of years ago. And so you guys can see it in my beard. It is what it is. I love my racing stripes. And then I started going, you know, I don't grow my hair long enough. So you guys really can't see it, but on the sides, I got that cool, like that, that cool Dr. Strange, Dr. Reed gray. You know what I mean? Fantastic for that. Like right on the side that really, and I was like, that's cool. I'm not mad at it, but now it's starting to go gray up here. And I'm like, Oh my God.
Speaker: I was like, I'm just, you know, I'm just like, fuck it. I'm embracing my gray to the point where I want to go buy hair dye and I just want to make it all gray. Eventually we'll call you Santa. Yeah. Eventually. He'll just be walking around and all of a sudden keep a little kid to be like Santa. I mean, that's it. That's the great thing about the work where we are now. I was going to say kind of squirrel. Um,
Speaker: where we are now as, as men and the fact that, you know, a lot of men are coming to, you know, willing to accept and have the conversations that we are having. The great thing about being dads right now is we get to break the cycle. We get to be the ones who break the cycle of put rub some dirt in it. You'll be fine. Stop being a pussy. I've never said that to my kids.
Speaker: None. I've never said that. I never wanted them to believe that they could be weak if they're crying. I don't see the problem of crying at all, especially if you're sad, if you're scared, if something bad happened or whatever. You have your rights. You have your rights to break down. You have your rights to do this.
Speaker: you know, and doing it in front of my kids, I have broke down in front of my kids before. And they're the ones that are the reasons why I'm still here. And my wife is the reason why I'm still here. Yeah, I don't know what life would be like if I went a different direction. If my kids or my wife weren't here, it would be so much different. And I'd probably be down a really dark path. So they were my light.
Speaker: my wife is the one that got me to trust women again because it took a lot for me to trust a woman and that's a different story but I mean it's just we could definitely have yeah exactly um but you know in Conner's case you know you broke down you're allowed to you don't have anything to apologize for you're showing your kids that
Speaker: It's not, it's not a weakness. It's, it's just part of life every once in a while that, you know, you have to do it. Yeah. It's not like you were, you know, Oh, I'm doing it for no reason. You had a reason why you did it and it, it's okay. I had a, I had a, a very good friend of mine who, uh, unfortunately lost his battle, so to say.
Speaker: Um, and his note in his, in his, in his, in his final words, so to say, he said, you can only be strong until you're not strong enough anymore. See, you know, I used to be wrecked. That shit wrecked me because.
Speaker: He was a few years older than me. And I looked up to him. He taught me a lot of things. And that shit wrecked me. And those words have been screamed in my head many times when I've been at my lowest, so to say.
Speaker: And then like you said, I found my light and my kids, you know, why do I keep going? And I found that in my kids, but I'll never forget those words because God damn, those, those words were very powerful and very impactful. Well, I liked that you said that we, we have the chance to break the cycle. Um,
Speaker: My dad is, first of all, I would never talk crap with my dad. He's 100%, he's probably the greatest father out there if you ask me. He did a great job of showing me how to be who I am today and how to love. And he did a phenomenal job, but I saw him cry once in my life.
Speaker: And it wasn't, he never told me I was weak for doing it. He never told me, you know, you shouldn't cry here or then or blah, blah, blah, you know, or wait till you're alone in a room. Uh, but the, the only time I ever saw him cry was when he lost his mom. Uh, and, um, to, to do that in front of my kids the other day, I mean, all I could think about was my dad.
Speaker: I was like, man, he never showed us that, that side of him. It was, it was never there because he never wanted us to think that he was, that he was weak or that he was lesser because that's what, that's what he grew up on. That's what he grew up on. And God love my grandfather with that, that same, that same mentality. And you could tell it was unpracticed when he cried when, when, uh, when she passed.
Speaker: the the the the
Speaker: and you're doing a really good job. Mm hmm. Exactly. But in that moment, I just felt like such a failure. No, don't ever don't ever think that, man. What were you getting ready to say, Mark, before before Connor? No, no, no, no. I kept my mouth shut because I knew Connor was going to say something when my father killed himself. You know, I don't think lightly about that or anything else.
Speaker: But I used to think that when he did it, because he left no note, he left nothing, that he was a coward. And, you know, I don't believe everybody that does it is a coward. I didn't have a good childhood. I didn't have, he wasn't in my life. I told Steven earlier, there's a certain word that I don't like to use. And that's the word hate. Because that was the last thing I ever told my father is I hate you.
Speaker: I never seen him again after that. When I was 13 years old, I found out that he killed himself. I didn't get to go to his funeral. It was three months after his funeral is when we found out. Wow. He told my brother that a few months before that, before he killed himself, he told my brother that me and my sister were dead. So do I put him on a pedestal? No, not knowing that what I know now.
Speaker: Do I forgive him for what he has done? Yeah, I forgave him. Why? Because he gave me two sisters and a brother, a great stepmom and I wouldn't be here. My mom raised me the way she did. Wasn't always the best way, but you know what? I'm fine. Yeah. But I was raised.
Speaker: You know, it didn't matter if you cried or not because well, you know, I was raised by a woman. I was not raised by a man. I had father figures in my life. My uncles who were great, but they never told me don't cry. They said, you know, live your life the way you want to. If you cry, you cry. If you, if you, if you're sad, be sad. If you you're happy, be happy, but whatever you do, don't just sit there and dwell on it.
Speaker: But unfortunately, when I drink, I dwell on it. That's the thing about alcohol, man. Especially when you're fighting them demons, alcohol is a downer. Alcohol is a depressant. And I'm gonna speak for me personally. I drank.
Speaker: because I wanted to kill the voices in my head. I wanted to numb the hurt, numb the pain, whatever the case may be. But at the end of the day, all the alcohol for me was fuel for those voices, fuel for those demons. And like I said, it took a lot for me to be where I am today because
Speaker: I have a mean streak in me, man. I have a mean streak a mile long and I'm a violent son of a bitch. And, you know, I'm the first one to, you look at me sideways before a word is said, I'm punching you in your fucking eye. And it took a lot for me to be the calm person I am today to get to the point where
Speaker: I would much rather sit down and have a conversation and let's, let's have a beer rather than fucking yell and scream and argue with each other. You know, because at the end of the day, all it's going to, all it's going to happen is I'm going to wake up with a couple of broken fingers, maybe a broken hand, a black eye, and, and, and regret in the morning of what happened to the other guy. I look like this. What happened to the other person? Uh, when you, when you blacked out, you blacked out, right?
Speaker: Oh, I blacked out a lot. When you black out, you're like, uh, what the hell happened? I, what, you know, you don't, you, you think of the consequences of that the next day. And you're like, he goes purple Sasquatch. You know, I, I, you know, I, I have the emotional, we all wear physical scars. I could show you guys my hands. My hands are jacked. I have scars all over my hands, my fingers.
Speaker: I mean, you see how my hand looks like. This is, this is my hand. I've broken my hands and fingers so many times. Like I can't straighten my finger. My hands out when it gets cold, like as one of the things I hate about being in Ohio, when it's cold in the mornings, I wake up like this. I look like Arne Anderson in the morning. Like no joke until my hands warm up when it's really cold or if I'm outside working, you're starting to get arthritis in your, I look like Arne Anderson. My hands are more than that.
Speaker: you know, it's broken bones, it's, I did, I've broken my hands and fingers so many times, you know, I wear the physical scars, you know, it took me a long time, especially being on camera to, I would try to hide it, I would not look at the camera a certain way because I have a wonky eye and I wear a scar on the side of my face from one of my, one of the nights where
Speaker: shit went a little sideways and last thing i remember was getting kicked in the face as i was pummeling a guy and the next day talking to police officers because the four guys i got into a fight with all four of them were in the hospital i was in the hospital but they were worse off than i was but now i have a permanent scar on my face for the rest of my life my eye is wonky
Speaker: And it really shows in the cold, but there's a scar straight down my face where the dude kicked me in the face. I mean, I can show you my scar, but I don't think you want to see my ass. I mean, I've got, you know, and it's not a pissing contest. Like I'm not out here trying to say I'm the baddest son of a bitch alive. You know, I've got scars from being stabbed. I've got scars from being cut.
Speaker: Unfortunately, I've been shot at I've never been shot unless you want to consider the the old farmer who's cornfield backed up to my parents property who lit my ass up with salt rock. Oh, yeah, I could imagine how that felt, which was not fun. You don't know what this rock salt is, Connor.
Speaker: Let's just say lesson learned. No, I said I could just imagine how that felt. Yeah. Let's just say lesson learned. I said, fuck that, Stephen. Oh, I'm sorry. Jesus. And that was that. That was me. You know, I just I had a rage inside me and and violence was the answer. So it took a lot for me to to calm that and become the
Speaker: quote -unquote gentle Wookie or Sasquatch that I am today. You're a Squatch get it right. There's a Squatch in these woods. I'm a Squatch and other people like to call me a Wookie. It's so easy and there's been times where I got to walk away from a situation and not even worry about what's being said once I walk away because I got to walk away because it's like
Speaker: I'm going to that place again. And I don't like that guy. I never liked that guy, but it is what it is at the end of the day. Um, you know, but when it comes to the kids, I never wanted the kids to see that side of me. And that, and that was, and like I said, I said it earlier, and we talked about it on a previous episode, my, my, my, the third time that come to Jesus moment. I don't ever want my kids to look back and go.
Speaker: Pam, like what the hell was going on in dad's world? Like was dad not, I don't, I used to say, you know, people who would get to that point were cowards and they're not cowards. You know, if somebody reaches that point where they want to unalive themselves and they do it, they're not a coward. They just, they weren't strong enough anymore to fight their demons and nobody was there for them. Or they felt like nobody was there for them.
Speaker: but not a coward. And I used to think... Exactly. Well, I agree with you. Hey, boys, I hate that I have to leave because I'm getting into this conversation, but I really got to get my daughter to bed. And I got to get shit ready and my wife's coming home too, so... Yeah, I got to get off yours. Well, I do. I do too. So can you guys hang out long enough for a song and then leave? Yes. Jarvis?
Speaker: Yeah, he's okay. Jarvis is over there masturbating without his hand. Fucking Connor almost got me again, the motherfucker. Jarvis, it's just a quote. You can cheat and you can look one up. I got one. Yeah, I want to play a song. But I want to ask you guys, it can be something personal, or you can cheat and look up a quote. But I want to play a song. And before we wrap up, I just want you guys to leave everybody with
Speaker: words of wisdom, something for inspiration or a quote that resonates with you, if you will. I do appreciate you guys listening. I appreciate you guys hanging out. Thank you to Mark and Brian from Talking Ship for hanging out with us tonight. I feel like there's going to be more shows with the guys down the road.
Speaker: We have created a friendship and thank you Jarvis for introducing all of us. I do enjoy the friendship that is being created and growing with Mark and Brian, not only with the podcasts, but outside of the podcast. I do look forward to when I see them online that I know I'm going to get to hang out with the guys and play some video games and shoot your shit and talk about whatever.
Speaker: So thank you guys for being here tonight. Looking forward to the two -part vet show, which is once we start locking in the dates and the times and all that stuff, we'll let you guys know more about that. In the meantime, go ahead and check out all the social medias, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. We do do shows Monday, Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays,
Speaker: Fridays and Saturdays, uh, on the nonsensical network on YouTube, Twitch, and Facebook. Uh, men came from in on Monday dollars and cents on Tuesday, nonsensical nonsense on Wednesday. We take the day off on Thursday for our guys over at talking shit. Mark and Brian, they got their YouTube and Facebook channel talking shit. Shit is about S H T T T. Make sure you guys are following them and hanging out with them and getting in their chatters box.
Speaker: Get in their box, getting Brian's box. God damn it. He's got a big box. Uh, also Thursday nights. If you're up late, check out Ted Hicks late night pants with his crew Thursday afternoons, Helen's mixed state comes out on radio, 65 .com. And Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays first thing in the morning.
Speaker: Fireman Rich is doing his morning coffee, hanging out with you guys, chit -chat and getting your morning started right. And then Jarvis, what, Sundays? You do the Jarvis podcast? You try to - Yeah, I try to on Sundays. Sometimes I forget, or sometimes I don't want to, or sometimes I just - And then most time on Fridays, Friday evenings, he's hanging out on Twitch, Jarvis Demon, playing some video games, mining some rocks.
Speaker: with this pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. We're gonna have to show up. I'm gonna, you know what? I have multiple songs in here, but the conversation tonight, the conversations we had and stuff like this, I feel like this song is probably the most relevant.
Speaker: Probably one of my favorite rock bands. And I love this song. I've loved this song since it came out, but it's Shine Down with Save Me. And we'll be back with quotes, words of wisdom, and inspiration.
Speaker: And I've got a spoon. I live in a hallway with no doors and no rooms. Under the windowsill, they all were found.
Speaker: And what went wrong Couldn't handle forgiveness Now I'm fine
Speaker: Freakin love that damn song great song by shine down right there. It's called save me
Speaker: Hi. I love her. She's so cute. All right, Mark, you're the guest today. I'm going to put you on the spot. Posting words, words of wisdom, inspirational thoughts or anything. How are you feeling? What, what you got for the, what you got for the people at the end of the night? All right. There's only three words and it's the only thing that's come to my mind and it's been there for quite a long time and it fits the show perfectly. And the three words is, uh, you are enough. Agreed. 100%.
Speaker: Agree kind of had me nervous there for a second. I was gonna be pleased by your Steven Honestly, I I I had that wrote down before the show starting hmm right there buddy for you. Sorry princess But no my quote is this
Speaker: And no one has to understand that braveness is not the absence of fear, but rather the strength to keep on going forward despite the fear. Nice. Nice. I just looked up quotes of encouragement. There you go. There's another one with that, man. That's what we told you last week. You got all nervous and flustered and extra. Well, I mean, it was a lot. Let's get a cheat. Let's get a cheat. I cheat almost every week.
Speaker: I'm talking about I'm talking about for that, not not. Don't be gross. There you go, Connor. But over to you. I guess those are the words of wisdom. No, there's the best words of wisdom present. Very wise, very wise thing. OK. So I can't compare to those words, but I'll say it because I feel like I needed to hear it.
Speaker: last week and I think that there's people out there that need to hear it even though they might not be listening right now. It's okay to cry. It's okay to be weak. It's okay to give in for a moment and to show that as long as you're not weak and you're not frail all the time. Just because you show it, just because you do it, doesn't make you weak. Just means that you're being human.
Speaker: Exactly. We got to show these little ones that it's okay. Yeah, we got to be role models for the next generation. And as always, you know me, I like to hear myself talk, but it's during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light. Mark and I both talked about seeing the light at the end of that tunnel in our children.
Speaker: And it wasn't an easy journey for me personally. Um, but also always remember this feeling will pass the fair. The fear is real, but the danger is not. And I want to touch on something I said earlier. Um, we can all be, we can all only be strong for so long. The moment when you don't feel like you're strong enough anymore. Remember there's people around you.
Speaker: And if you feel like you don't know any of those people, there's guys right here on this show right now that will be strong enough for you. It's one button away. I've said it a million times and I mean it. I'm always here for anybody. So when the moment that you don't think that you're strong enough anymore, let me be strong enough for you. Let Mark be strong enough for you. Let Connor, let Jarvis, let Brian, let Jeff, let somebody in the chatters box be strong enough for you.
Speaker: You're not a coward, but trust me, it doesn't make things any better because you're leaving all that hurt and all that pain on the people who are left behind. What that may have said. Thank you guys for listening. Thank you guys for hanging out. Hopefully you enjoyed the show tonight. Thank you, Mark and Brian for coming on here. I'm looking forward to doing more stuff with you guys, uh, working together with, with you guys as well. Uh, nonsensical nonsense. We'll be back.
Speaker: Saturday night with a brand new episode with a brand new open door challenge. I think I'm thinking tomorrow night off. I'm probably going to take tomorrow night off and prepare for Monday and play video games and kill a lot of ungrateful sons of bitches on Call of Duty. Oh, also damn the Taliban. Actually, I hit the button. But thank you guys for listening. Thank you guys for hanging out. We'll be back Saturday. Don't forget.
Speaker: Monday brand new episode of men can ferment Tuesday dollars. So it might be back Wednesday. Nonsense. Well, nonsense. And Thursday talking shit Sunday. There might be a new Jarvis Marcus. Maybe. Anyways, you know, there should be Saturday. Hit this button real quick.
