Transcript
Speaker: She never mentions the world of texture Then the sun will come Yeah, she'll tell you she's in the forest They'll tell you meet the fact
Speaker: She paints her eyes as black as night now And pulls so much shades down the tape She gives a smile when the pay comes The pay comes to make everything alright
Speaker: She says she talks to ages Call her out by her name Oh yeah, she talks to ages Call her out by her name
Speaker: She gives her like a fill in her pocket And wears her cross around The like affair is from a little boy And the curse is so dear It's not meant, not just
Speaker: She says she talks to ages Call her out by her name She talks to ages Call her out by her name She don't know
Speaker: Nothing I don't see Yeah, to her it ain't nothing But to me, yeah, me It's everything She says she talks to angels
Speaker: and says they are not there. Yeah, yeah, angels call her out by her name.
Speaker: Sunday Sunday. Welcome to episode uh nine. Uh I'm good. Wednesday will hit double ditches. I know, right? The other guy here. That's Jeff.
Speaker: And as always, if you guys aren't already following you, hand us up at Nonsense for Nonsense and follow us on Spotify as well. That's where you can get every episode of this shitty podcast. Well, we're actually getting ready to hit triple digits on the Facebook fan page. I'm kind of proud of that. Yeah, I saw it today.
Speaker: We're up to 72. I mean, 72, that's not a lot, but 72 people walked in just to listen to us talk. We'd be like, holy shit, where are we? I said that when I hit 500 followers on TikTok, I was like, you know, there's a lot of people that have 10, 20, 30, 40 ,000, 100 ,000 followers, but 500 people walking in my house right now just to watch me goof off.
Speaker: You're in my house! Same thing with my YouTube channel. I don't have 166 followers, but if 166 people walked in to watch me build something, I'd be like, that tool! No, I've never really been one to...
Speaker: the right
Speaker: Cool Yeah, that's the thing I'm busting my ass to hit a thousand so I can go live and sitting here with 10k going Yeah from some of this trying to my YouTube channel for a little over a year now and unfortunately to do what I do on YouTube it costs money and I don't have any and
Speaker: so you know before you can actually start getting paid on youtube you have to have a thousand followers and i'm like that's number so big yeah it sounds so big a lot of times with with people either when they're just starting out you got to have two things to get large numbers really quick and it's either a money or i'll have either one of those things
Speaker: You know, it's like, I was talking to you yesterday about the fact that, uh, one of my videos on, I made a toilet paper holder just because I was like, I need something to do. Yeah. And my toilet paper holder broke. I was a real cheap and shinsy and my, my kids broke it because that's what kids do. And so I was like, I'll make a new one. And I was like, well, just put it on YouTube and it got over 160 views. And I was like, well, look at that. Let me do them.
Speaker: I would be happy if my kids if my kids because that would just mean that they knew that they were actually trying to use it. Nice. Because that is like one of the biggest why it bothers me so much. And, you know, I look back on it. I know it used to bother the hell out of my parents. It's like, why? Why do you just sit there all over? Yeah, it takes literally an extra two seconds to I'm going to fucking kill myself. This thing on courts.
Speaker: Yeah. So just on there where it goes. And I don't even care if the toilet paper is up or down or I'm not that guy. I was going to ask you, which way do you prefer the mullet or the, or the party? I don't care as long as it's fucking on the roll. My kids, my kids, you put it on the back of the toilet. So when you're sitting on the toilet, it's empty.
Speaker: But you don't realize there's three roles behind you. And you're screaming out the door going, somebody bring me some fucking toilet paper. And they come in, they go, it's right here, dad. There's a toilet paper right here, fuckers. You know how to use it.
Speaker: I made you watch the video. You didn't want to watch it. I made you watch it 160 times, damn it. That's the one thing about my kids. I really do like. My wife thinks my YouTube channel is stupid. She doesn't think it's stupid. She supports me in the fact, but she's not itching to watch the next one where my kids are like, dad, I saw your new YouTube video. And I was like,
Speaker: okay well my kids used to be embarrassed uh by like my tiktok videos they're like right dad's making tiktok videos you know i hope it's not cool and you fucking stop doing it but now they're like oh dad's kind of cool and i'm like i'm still not cool but yeah not anymore yeah so i'm trying to get this facebook feed pulled up here so hopefully i can uh
Speaker: Comments amen to that. Oh speaking of Facebook feed my mom sent me a message Night and she I asked her I said have you Have you listened to episode 8? She's like well. It's not up yet. I said no. It's not up yet, but Facebook she's like send me a link and she sent a link and I was like oh no I
Speaker: I shouldn't have done that. So I'm sitting there talking about dick lengths and all that. She sent me a message back two hours later and she's like, that was funny. I was like, even a dick thing? She's like, that was hilarious. I was like, and if my mother finds us funny, there's no reason we shouldn't blow up.
Speaker: Because my mother is the first one to go, that's, that's wrong. You guys shouldn't talk about that. Mom would be the first person to say, wow. Really? Nonsense. Nonsense. No, it's not your mom's favorite podcast. She's not the search for podcast kind of person. Yeah.
Speaker: But, uh, honey, and I find that impressive because my mom was 90 % of the time my humor and my mom just don't mix. And you, you are not, you are very similar. And my mom's is so far opposite of our humor that if we, if we got her laughing, we got it made.
Speaker: It's a win -win. I think my dad's on the other end of the spectrum. He's like, you're a jackass. I haven't gotten feedback from a couple of them. I don't know if he listens religiously like my mother. But dad, if you're listening, curious. And that goes for anybody. Anybody listening to this, let us know what you think. We have email. We got Facebook. We got everything. It was just feedback. Yes.
Speaker: speaking of which my parents they were there they went down to florida because they vacation they they nice no it was actually a little stupid car oh nice somebody somebody's gonna get in trouble but they went fishing off a pier and my mom sent me pictures dad catching this fish and the fella can try I was like nice
Speaker: She's like, so we went fishing the other day and a bird. That's kind of awesome. That's a smart bird. He doesn't have to do any of the work. Oh, absolutely. I mean, well, that's the same thing as I'm stupid fucking whatever. I don't know what the fuck they are. They're stupid little seagulls to hang out on the beach, man. I'm a little bastard. You're trying to get some fries. Oh yeah. Those are some of the videos I watch on YouTube. I watch the, I watched, they're not fail videos. They're, they're,
Speaker: like instant regrets of cube and oh my gosh my wife and kids will sit around and we did a challenge the other day we didn't video it we just did the challenge just because it was we were sitting there with kids who wouldn't spit water we didn't last that a first video after about five videos you're like okay yeah I'm done but some yeah exactly but some of them oh man
Speaker: that my favorite is instant regret. It's just dumb people. But every once in a while, I like to watch people get owned, too. I mean, that's there's nothing funnier than a Karen getting owned. Well, I mean, that's that's like, you know, I mean, yeah, what? It's probably close to 30 years now.
Speaker: because it was - Well, let's see. We used to watch it in the 80s. Yeah, so - They're in TGIF. Yeah, I'm here to watch my kid one. But to this day, a guy getting smacked in the nuts with a woofle ball bat is still hilarious. There's nothing funnier. It's like, you can't get old, you know? But I also occasionally watch The People Are Awesome.
Speaker: And it's just people doing really see your old man do a flip off of a set of swings and land on his feet and walk away like it was nothing. And I was like, you know what? I'm 40 years old. Good for that man. I couldn't do that when I was 10. When I was 16, I couldn't do that shit. You know, 10 years old, the biggest thing was to jump off the swing. But this dude did a full on backflip.
Speaker: Yeah. I actually, I think I did see that the other day. I think I'm scrolling through fucking speaking, speaking of TikTok. So last night I haven't really, I haven't really been doing much. Um, you know, cause usually we do our lives on Saturday and by the time we get done, it's like, I don't feel like going on there and talking. I might go on for an hour. Last night I went live and fucking
Speaker: five minutes in. If that five minutes into it live, I wasn't even in my room most. I wasn't even in here most of the time. I just I came in and started talking. Summer was in there. Hoss was in there. Another buddy of ours was in there. Just the three of them and I caught a **** Yeah. Yeah. For my life. Well, they said illegal activity and regulated goods and I'm like, what was I doing? That was illegal. First of all,
Speaker: Yeah. I was like, first of all, I'm almost 40. I had a beer. I have my cigarettes. That's all legal. There's nothing illegal. I was like, I smoke like a chimney when I'm on the actual fuck was going on. But it was like a three month. It was like a three month van. So that's fucked up. I sent a thing over, you know, like, Hey, you fucked hearts.
Speaker: what the hell's going on? What the hell? Yeah. And uh then within like what in the actual **** Well, they did that to me uh when I when I was first trying to hit a thousand II did the crocodile and that's not because it's like one of my dad's favorite movies and you know, it's great scene and I did that and of course, you know, you pull a knife out from here and I grabbed a kitchen knife. It's not like I grabbed some buoy knife or machete or
Speaker: and and i sent a message watch the video yeah because it's one of us not to keep her comedy i'm not trying to throw on a rant 20 minutes later they're like yeah sorry
Speaker: I'm like, that's right, motherfucker. Well, and I think that's what happened because like I said, I'm short. I don't even think it was five. I don't even know that it was five minutes long. Um, and I sent that, that feedback in and then I came right back up within like maybe five or 10, maybe, maybe somebody actually looked at it and was like, there's nothing going on here. And I was like, but they've been banning, they've been banning a lot of people. There's this one girl, she's like four 11. She's the cutest little thing.
Speaker: and she's like 22 23 something and she was doing she does her lives and uh that what's that company sheen or shine or whatever was a clothing line company uh she was showing shirt or something and they they banned her life and she did a tiktok video about that she was like crying she's like you know i really enjoy doing this people and i don't understand why the ban and
Speaker: She'd like 45 minutes later. She does another tick -tock the band got lifted It was just I think it was just you know Well for the weirdest things but but then you got like 14 year olds stand around bikinis half -naked they don't do shit with oh, yeah, I mean I've had videos now and somebody well hell hoss
Speaker: hostas uh barbecue um that's all he that's pretty much all he does and when he finally hit one he went live and he would just have the camera on like his barbecue like his smoker and everything and he was talking and they hit him with the three -day ban like right off the bat was that all about i was like man i i don't get it you're watching yeah i i don't i don't understand that it's just as simple as somebody come in the report button and they they don't yeah i mean that like when i come
Speaker: when I caught my quote unquote permanent band on there. And they said it was for serious pornography and beauty. Meanwhile, this is what I was doing. Exactly. I'm standing right here in this same spot, drinking a beer. And I was like, what the fuck? And three or four months and I had to keep fighting it and fighting it. And I mean, and it got to the point where they started taking out some of my videos.
Speaker: for no reason since this big long email and then like two days later the videos were back up and then I was able to go live again. I think the whole thing when I got that video that one video band is because I had a knife in my hands and I think that's why probably why Hoss got he might if people see a knife they freak out. Yeah, yeah, you know, it's like
Speaker: They want to keep it quote unquote safe. Forget once again, 14 year old girls in bait and bikinis dancing their ass off. And you're like, well, you know what? That's not cool. Well, that's because it's very much pedophiles over there. Yeah, exactly. I've seen so much on TikTok and or like things that go against their guidelines. And it's just like, but that's okay.
Speaker: but you don't want to get in, I get it. TikTok doesn't want to get in trouble with, you know, the media or whatever, but since, you know, you're going after the wrong people. When you start photo, you know, Thanos thing, uh, accounts and this and I was saying, that's going to be, we're not, we're not canceling anybody. We're, we're Thanos thing them. I like that.
Speaker: Speaking of people becoming famous on social media. I'm going to be famous for one of my kids' ass in a minute. I finally found a sporting event. Oh, shit. If I can figure out what it is. Apparently, Jake Paul is going to fight Floyd Mayweather. And I'm sorry, I don't like Paul kids. I think those kids are fucking idiots. They got way too much money and way too much time on their hands.
Speaker: if I could I'd money on the fact that Floyd Mayweather gonna whoop that dude's ass. He's gonna beat the brakes off of him. Well, did you see what happened? They had their little press conference or whatever. And his brother grabbed him Paul or was he's fighting Logan Paul. Jake Paul is the younger Jake. Jake is the younger one. He grabbed Jake. He grabbed the who tat. Yeah. He was like, uh,
Speaker: I'm gonna, I'm gonna take Floyd's hat, watch this. And then he started jawing at him and snatched his hat and didn't, or Floyd Mayweather, one of his monster mountain bodyguards blasted Jake in the face and like busted his tooth and gave him a black eye. Why don't you fight us both if you're so tough? And I guess Floyd was like, I'll fight both of you. I have no problem with that. I mean, I can understand going up against, you know, like,
Speaker: you know, somebody you've never heard of, you know, that is literally anybody you put in a ring with this cat. And this is, this is the most layman of layman's terms because I don't know shit about boxing. Go open in the ring with that guy. Now. Well, Mayweather, Mayweather, I don't really care for Mayweather, but he's a, he's a defensive fighter and most of his time and fights and stuff.
Speaker: running away essentially, you know, he he he gets in a just enough to to get the points score. Yeah. I don't know that he I don't know that he's not I don't know how many people he's knocked out. I mean, I can Google that shit real quick and find out. But I want to say it's like one hundred and fifty eight fights that he's won was like fifty one to know. Yeah. So crazy number.
Speaker: Um, but I, I want to say a good majority of his fights came because what was decision. Um, when he fought Manny Pacquiao, I believe that was decision. Okay. Um, let me see here. I used to love boxing, but then I kinda, I got out of it. Um, because much of the UFC, um,
Speaker: there's there's there's too many fighters now. You can't. Yeah, you can't keep up. UFC started buying out companies and they added weight classes and they did this and they did that and they can't keep up with anybody anymore. It's just like and now the in the UFC practice. Fucking Friday night every Saturday night almost. Yeah. So Floyd is forty forty nine and oh for fifteen
Speaker: Uh, I want to see, um, that's still an impressive number, even if it is mostly out of 50 fights, he's got, uh, 26 by knockout. Well, that's a, that's over half. It looks like that's over half. One is still over half. Yeah.
Speaker: 27 by knockouts, but I mean I wonder how how early in his career those knockouts came because That's yeah, that's so so Logan Paul has has had one one fight and He fought this KS one another you that kid beat the brakes off a loading Now exactly now he's going up against one of them quote -unquote best. Yeah
Speaker: I think if he keeps on the road that he's going, he could be a legitimate fighter. Now he's three, he's three and O, but he fought a former UFC fighter just last month. Okay. And he knocked him clean the fuck out. And then he fought Nate Robinson, who was a former NBA player still asleep because Jake knocked a soul out of that man. Well, like I said, I don't, I don't like it.
Speaker: If you if you ask me who's top player and what ever I wouldn't know I'd be like fuck if I know but I Call kids. I don't like them. I don't I don't I think they're I think they're They they I've never Legitimately watched any of the videos, but I did slip where they took a monster truck over top of a Lamborghini now I'm not a Lamborghini guy. I'm not a sports car. I'm not a hyper car guy But that's wasting 250 grand
Speaker: And that, you know, as a car guy, I'm offended. I'm going to cancel them because that granted, not everybody can afford a Lamborghini, but just to buy it, just to drive over top of it. That's a Dick move. Oh, I'm sure there was, there was, uh, Oh.
Speaker: Money to be made from letting those two idiots run that car over. Well, it's like the guys I watch on YouTube, the Goon Squad, they buy wrecked cars and fix them up. Very likely that the Paul kids bought one of those wrecked cars, a wrecked Lamborghini, and just showed the side that was mint and drove over top of it. You know, something was wrong with the car or something.
Speaker: I mean, if they did get it from a dealership or some shit, there was, there was, there was money to be made because, you know, they made a retarded amount of money off of that one video and then probably were like, oh, this car came from. Yeah, they showed him going in and buying it, made sure the sign was shown and yeah, I'm sure there was, there was a deal, but, uh,
Speaker: speaking of of people doing Kind of dumb stuff this guy story and I was gonna send it to you when I forgot But this guy he he was at a sporting event. I'm not sure which one it doesn't say in the article But he put up a sign and said help me replenish my bush beer Stock like, you know, I need to buy beer and within I didn't say how many days but I
Speaker: In a short period of time he raised over four hundred and eighty thousand dollars Well, I know I mean That's what I said. I said shit. I need to get me a Venmo but what he's what made the article interesting is he said I'm gonna give all this money to charity. He's given it some kids charity or something and And bush beer
Speaker: It's super cute. It's super cute. It's super cute. It's super cute. It's super cute. It's super cute. It's super cute. It's super cute. It's super cute. It's super cute. It's super cute. It's super cute.
Speaker: the fifth
Speaker: I I I I I promise like you read about, you know, a little compensation on my end would be nice. Hug a fucking brother up. God damn. Free shirts. But 480 grand in in a like I said, I didn't say in the article, it was like a it was like a it was
Speaker: It had the news Our goal is just a small paragraph and then I had a picture of fat Thor underneath it It says that's what heroes do or something like that. I was like damn Was it just weird? Was it just mirrored in fact or looks like the dude from? In the movie at one point Tony Stark walks by fat Thor and he says one side Lebowski Yeah, I love that movie
Speaker: The only problem with that movie is every time I see it, I want to go bowling. Bowling. Bowling out of here and after Wilma, it got destroyed and they just never rebuilt it. So there's no more bowling out of here. Yeah. I know. Like anything else in this world, it's so goddamn expensive to go bowling. I mean, I can play one game and
Speaker: Yeah, especially they take the kids in yeah, whoa But do you have any news articles I was going to but now my your phone fucked up Honestly it it looks like
Speaker: you know, when you call it and they take over your like computer or something. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What it looked like somebody taking over my phone, sons of bitches, NASA update messages. Like it was, it was opening apps and it was opening different apps and changes, changing, uh, the, uh, settings webpage and all, and all that, like the, it was opening different web, uh, web pages and
Speaker: It was like trying to shuffle all my stuff around, all my icons and everything. I'm like, what the hell? Oh, that's weird. Do you have like water on your screen? No. My phone down yesterday and my cord laid across the screen and it brought up a video clip as I was talking to my wife and that matched what I was saying flawlessly.
Speaker: Nice. It was like, yeah, that's what she said or something like that. And my wife was like, you just say, and I was like, that wasn't me. I was like, holy crap. But it was like, you couldn't remember what it said, but it was just like, oh, that wasn't me. I promise. A lot of animals in the news, a lot of animals in the news.
Speaker: Tennessee police help rescue a flashback a Flashback to the foot gator. It was underneath that dude's car they were able I there was an update on that article that they they They actually got it back or whatever. They they literally had to drag it with a truck They like hook a rope to its tail dragged it out with his truck wrestled it into the back of the truck and took it out to the Marsh or whatever
Speaker: the down in Florida. That was like we talked about that in episode one. Yeah. It was hanging out under some dude's car. Yeah. Well, yeah, I saw an update to that. Interesting. And usually that's usually that's what they that's what they'll do is just try to relocate them. But I think there's like one of those guys that have one of those reality shows down there in Florida
Speaker: who does all that like, I like the other ones is like Billy the exterminator or some shit. Yeah. Um, I saw something else. Oh, I saw a picture of that sturgeon that you talked about when I got caught. Yeah. It was the size of it. It said it was taller than a, uh, an NBA basketball player and I was like, holy crap. Nice.
Speaker: Yeah, I was scrolling through here looking and yeah, like there's a story out of Tennessee where law enforcement had to help wrangle a zebra.
Speaker: Cow and I think alligator that fucked up traffic in Houston because they were in the middle We're saved from the storm drain. I'm like, oh, this is crazy That's kind of normal everyday shit. Yeah. Yeah. Well the every the turtles go from one side of because Cancun is technically the the hotel zone is technically a a oddly shaped eye
Speaker: There's two bridges one on each side, but it's a giant hashtag not hashtag. What's it called? parentheses Now what am I talking about? Yeah, it's a giant parentheses, you know, you know that that little sea and So is a is an island and the turtles will will hatch on the beach and migrate across the street and
Speaker: Every year they do, like they have people walk up and down the hotel zone, picking up baby turtles into a bucket and carrying them across to the lagoon. Down in Charleston, it was always a whole big.
Speaker: big, uh, spectacle, so to say, watch them and, you know, cause you weren't a lot around them that they would gather to watch them when they would hatch and scuttle off into the ocean. Like, yeah, well, every, every third person, like they, they put three people in a group and, and they'll have a fourth person, three, that is literally a park ranger down here to make sure nobody steals the turtle and takes it home.
Speaker: I can see that happening because people are full. Hence the reason why Florida has so many invasive animals running around. I want to get a pet iguana. This iguana is too big. Yeah, it's getting too big.
Speaker: and now there's fucking iguanas everywhere in florida yeah they do that they do that with other animals too they're uh going back to the tiger king man that's where those uh tiger collectors whatever that people buy a tiger for their house and then it gets to eating 100 pounds of i can't afford this so they find one of these people that holds tigers or they just let it go
Speaker: Yeah. You know, they're like, there's a tiger in my backyard. Hello, 911. There's a tiger in my backyard. Sure there is, Bob. Bye. Yeah, sure, buddy. We're in Ohio. Nice try. Well, there was a guy down the road from me growing up. He had a pet grizzly bear. I believe it. Well, I mean, there was up at Kenyon College. And they're in Gambier.
Speaker: There was a few up there. Oh, really? And I don't know if it's still there. I think they may have gotten in trouble, but I remember when, uh, when, when I was in high school and I'm in Johnstown, um, they used to come up there and shop. Why they came all the way from there to Johnstown to shop. I don't know, but simple. They probably had a deal with Kroger because, uh, there's a Kroger about burning that was 10 minutes away from gambling deal with the person because
Speaker: uh according to what what they said go to walmart and if for instance if you go to walmart and you pick up steak put it in your cart get to the counter and you can't afford to buy it's not legally allowed to put it back on the shelf really that's what it says in tiger king i don't know how true it is but so that gets put aside and then thrown away well what the guys from tiger king would do is they could go to walmart and load up a truckload of like hot dogs and all this stuff
Speaker: And it cost him a quarter of the price. Yeah, I mean, I can make some sense, but a place that was out there in Gambier. I remember one time, the one of the first times they came up there and back then to the car. Fucking lady, right? I've done that job has been a wife to you. They pop open the back of this van and there's two fucking tigers sitting back. Oh,
Speaker: You got tigers. You guys can load your shit. They're like, Oh, they're fine. They're sweet. And they were, I mean, they were, they were, they were. And then I got in trouble for playing with the target tigers in the parking lot, but I'm like, well, there's tigers. What else are you going to do? They're tigers. You're not going to ever get this opportunity again. It's like, I'm going to go to the zoo and jump in the tiger cage and they're going to be like, Oh, that's the thing. When I was kid tiger, when I grew up,
Speaker: And then as you get older, you're like, yeah, that's just not feasible. I just know, you know, apparently some people never grow out of that. And they're surprisingly, uh, expensive. They're not expensive. Well, they eat, they like, they're, they're expensive to, to keep and raise. I'm talking about, Oh, you're talking about to buy. Yeah. Yeah. To buy, to buy their, their cheap. I think grand.
Speaker: Well, that's that's that's a whole thing on Tiger King they were talking about One of the things that that was quote -unquote the Tiger King who's a character in himself One of the things he got in trouble for it was it's it's technically against the law to buy and sell Tigers Cubs and That's how he kind of kept the business going was buying and selling to well breeding and selling Tigers and
Speaker: Somewhere along the line while he was doing it, it became illegal to buy and sell tiger cubs. I'm sure it's highly illegal if you don't have, I don't even know if you can get license and permits to do that. No, you can't. You can't. That's the thing. Like some of the tigers that you see in zoos were supplied by this guy, the tiger king. And if you haven't,
Speaker: It's a long, long documentary to watch, but holy crap. It's like watching a car crash. Wait, they did what I haven't. And I, and I won't. It's one of those things that got her arm bit off. And then two days later was back at work. That's a trooper. Okay. Here you are.
Speaker: And I'll be like, yeah, I'm out. Yeah. I'd be like, yeah, I quit. You know, I'm gonna take my medical leave and I'm done. This is considered as my two weeks notice, my two hour notice, because she's like, cut the fucker off. Let's get back to work. Yeah. I was like, all right. You gotta be some kind of weird big cats all day. I mean, I think it'll be cool, but, but at the same time, I don't want to like,
Speaker: I wouldn't mind having a job doing that, like working, but I don't want them in my house. But that would, that would make it that. Well, that would be, I got $4 from keeping that clean up after them as a pay. Pretty cool to have two tigers break in your house and kick the door. And there's two tigers sitting there. That stereo is sitting there. Wait, that's a tiger.
Speaker: I don't need to start all that bad. I'm going to buy this guy a new door. Is that a tiger? Wait, is that two tigers? Did you hear? I got a story for you. There was this guy, and this news a long time ago, but this guy broke in these people's houses.
Speaker: He literally kicked the door in like donkey kicked this door in People came home with doors wide open and they look around they you know They call the cops and everything and they can't find anything missing And the cops like nothing's missing. It's so weird So the cops like okay, if you find anything missing let us know they leave Three or four days later. They replace the door everything four days later door gets kicked in again and They can't find anything missing
Speaker: This goes on for like six months. Every couple days, nothing's missing. At the six -month mark, almost to the day, they leave the house when they come home. On the kitchen table are Polaroids of a guy taking their toothbrush and cleaning his ass with it. Oh, no. And they're dated. They're dated all the way back six months.
Speaker: such a dickhead he sold doors no no i thought you were gonna because i i know there was there's been a couple a couple different i'm not aware like yeah there was like i kicked my dick into the house and uh he like broke his ankle or something
Speaker: yeah and one the homeowners and and one or there's been other people like they bust and they they cut their arm all the shit and they and it's like how the hell yeah how do i lose a court battle with this piece or smash my window in yeah like god damn yeah but i thought that was for six months you're going what the fuck are they taking
Speaker: And then you come home like awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Speaker: Six months, you're fine. Yeah. Yeah. No big deal. They got shit on those people. At that point, after six months of doing it, it's like, yeah, do we really need to even worry about it now because it's done and I have ass brushed my teeth with an ass brush for the last six months. His wife literally leads to him. No wonder your breath smells like shit, Bob. Yeah, right.
Speaker: and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back in and she gets back
Speaker: Yeah, he probably could, but. Lawsuits like that, just like, you know what? You broke into my house and you got hurt. You broke into my house and I shot you in the asshole. Yeah, exactly. I'm getting sued for it. I'm getting sued for it. Fuck. Just because I forced gum. I love that movie. That movie has one of the greatest soundtracks ever.
Speaker: I don't, you know, I also, it does have a lot of really the decades that it spans through, but that is just one of my favorite. I love that movie. And, but for as much as I like it, I can watch it all the way through. Well, I'll put it on and watch like 45 minutes or so of it. And then I'll turn it off. Or if I happen to see it on TV and then I just turn it off, I cannot watch it all the way through. And I love it. And I quote it all the time.
Speaker: Yeah, well, uh, I used to, to the airport. I, I worked in a little kiosk and across from us was a bubble. Yeah. We had all day long play Forrest Gump. Yeah. Repetitively. And I'd get home and I'm like, fuck, I want to watch Forrest Gump. I don't know why. Yeah. And I couldn't figure out for like two weeks. I was like, why do I want to watch Forrest Gump?
Speaker: after watching it like five or six times in a week i'm like i know why because i see it all day long to bubblegum uh went down in charleston unfortunately it closed down but um the food was pretty good um yeah the food was pretty good i i i just like one of the first times we went and then of course every time we went the waiter would be like
Speaker: seen Forrest Gump and I'd be like, nah, not really. Maybe I've watched part of it. They're like, well, let's see how you do with the, with the quiz. And they would like, wouldn't even finish the question. And I was like,
Speaker: They'd be like, what number did Forrest Gump wearing in college when he played football? 44. You know, where did he go? I was just like, oh yeah. And they're like, you've seen this movie. And I'm like, yeah, time or two. I have it on my phone. Oh, I lost my train of thought. I was going to say something. I forget what it was. Speaking of restaurants. Yeah, go ahead. Oh, yeah. I love how these unintended segues just naturally happen.
Speaker: Yeah. I'm like some other podcasts that have to plan and stage everything. Yeah, we don't plan shit. We can't even fucking do that right now. We can't do it on the right day. We can't do it on the right day. Fucking professionals and what? Yeah. No, I want to I want to check out Walburger's.
Speaker: I don't know, man. I've heard some bad. I like I've I've heard a lot of people say that it's just not really the fucking method. They have they have a car dealership. Oh, yeah. Well, there's one here in Columbia where it is. I'm going to go buy a fucking car from
Speaker: one of the new kids on the block. So Marky Mark, yeah. Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. But at least he's selling good cars. He's selling Chevy. Yeah, he yeah, which is exactly what I'm going to buy. But yeah, speaking of speaking of restaurants, check this out. This is. Yeah. There were some workers working on a on a cafe in Liverpool. And they found them. I saw that it was a rafters.
Speaker: refurbishing a cafe, workmen at the Leaf Cafe discovered a piece of calling as they discovered the menu from January 1913 from the former Yaman Cafe. Yaman, customers at the eatery a century ago were offered a selection of appetizing refreshments, luncheons, and afternoon teas. Staff in the Modern Cafe said they find seven coins and are planning to retreat some of the dishes
Speaker: So they're gonna they're gonna take so I know 1913 you're like yeah a dime for a cup of coffee. I'm in That's that that's pretty cool, I mean that's Weird history like that. I find amazing
Speaker: Yeah. So they found the time capsule hidden in the walls and to see what they were doing, then how forward thinking and creative as a restaurant. And so it was a inspiring historical building, but to have a menu in our hands has made it feel real. Something dating back to the Fert before the first world war. That's great. That'd be a pretty cool fight. I would like to, I can't imagine. I mean, I guess to a certain degree, but I can't imagine that, you know, food would
Speaker: I don't know what they would have there differently, unless it was a completely different style of restaurant. Well, yeah, I'm sure. I'm it sounds like, you know, like a little read the menu of it, but it sounds like, you know, they had like, you know, you probably taste it's not Lipton, you know, you know, you get your Earl Grey's and shit. Um,
Speaker: What was it? Uh, something else historically like that, uh, is about a time capsule. I remember what it was, but I want to go to the Smithsonian so bad and see all that, all that crazy history to the point. What? Yeah. Okay. Take it downstairs. I don't want that. I don't want that. He made a couple of noodles and he's like, when can I eat it? And I'm like, when it's ready.
Speaker: When it's done But like I just I was watching stuff on The Walking Dead because I just finished season 10 and I'm kind of pissed that there's no more but they were talking about Norman Reedus and one of the the guy that played Herschel they put head and
Speaker: that got cut off in like season four or whatever and Norman Reese's crossbow in the Smithsonian. Really? And it's, Norman Reese was talking about it on like Jimmy Kimmel or something like that. And he said right next to the Rocky stuff because he was apparently a huge Rocky fan.
Speaker: Right next to the the Italian stallion robe and some movie and he said they you know they got like Fonzie's jacket there they have Farrah Fawcett's one -piece red bathing suit and everybody their brother had They apparently have Archie bunker's chair From all the vent I'm like hell yeah
Speaker: I mean, so I don't know, I don't know much. I've been to the Air and Space Museum, but I never got to go to the, the problem is with the Smithsonian, you cannot see it all. That big? I don't know much. I always thought that the Smithsonian or Smithsonian just had like old school artsy fartsy shit in it. I didn't know that it had like a whole. They do have, they have it in sections.
Speaker: They have a whole wing. That's the air and space music really, you know, it's like, they got replicas of man, Amelia air hearts plane. They got, you know, Saturn two rocket and all this crazy shit. See Farsi like fossils and shit from where caveman days, but then they have the pop culture wing. That is literally, it takes two days to go through that. That would be pretty cool.
Speaker: You know, I mean, and, uh, they have, you know, like I said, they got Archie bunker share. They got the Ruby slippers from wizard, uh, all this pop culture stuff. Like they have a, uh, I believe I'm not 100 % sure, but they have like, uh, Darth Vader's full on the original first star Wars. Nice. Yeah. So, I mean, it's a DC star chart. Yeah. Yeah. That's the one.
Speaker: When you wave at him, he says live long and prosper. Yeah But it's it's they got some really cool shit there and speaking of Darth Vader Disney Has made a retractable lightsaber Have you seen this? It's a fully it's a functioning lightsaber, but it doesn't cut anything Well, then where's the fun in that?
Speaker: Well, but when you put it on, the blade actually comes out from the hilt, like in the movie. Yeah. And I was like, wow, that's pretty cool. I don't think it's a Facebook thing. Somebody commented that it's glitching out real bad. I was going to say, all right, it seems pretty good. We glitched out for a second, but it wasn't too bad.
Speaker: I've got, I've got someone coming. I've got Facebook pulled up and the Facebook real bad, but Facebook sucks. Someone commented, not your girlfriend. Okay. Speaking of your girlfriend, do she put your video you sent her for mother's day on Facebook? No, I haven't been dude. Okay. So, um, I, uh,
Speaker: I don't know who said it because Facebook fucking sucks and the comments aren't coming yet.
Speaker: nice and I have I finally got the feature on TikTok where I can go live with other people and I was a buddy of mine well I had a couple uh Summer and I went live together for for a little bit she don't ever do anything on on TikTok and then uh friends uh they kind of sort of friends um they just got married so there was a whole group of people from TikTok down in Georgia and I was
Speaker: They invited me to join them. I was in there live and then a buddy of mine on there, uh, he was live. And, uh, I honestly, I didn't think that he would accept the invite because he's one of the bigger tick tockers. He instantly accepted it. So him and I were bullshitting and, uh, I got pretty drunk and.
Speaker: And it was storming up here a little bit and so I went out there on the couch to kind of calm him down and wound up falling asleep on the couch and I woke up, I came back in, I woke up at like six and the damn line was still up and running. I was just like, what the fuck? That's like those people on Twitch that they, have you guys on the, you've heard of Mr. Beast, right? This guy's, that guy's crazy.
Speaker: But he he'll literally go on Twitch and find somebody that's got zero followers and they're like, wake them up with like a $10 ,000 gift. And they're like, Cool. No, summer posted that you and the kids sent out wish her happy Mother's Day. And your video is the longest one of the four. Yeah, but you were almost ready to tear up.
Speaker: And I was like, that is the cutest fucking thing. Well, I don't. Mother's Day hits. Mom passed away. Right. So but I still like, you know, I still try to, you know, make it special. Speaking of mother. Yes. All the moms. So did I.
Speaker: All you moms and bonus moms you guys are Fucking amazing. Well, some of you some of you something But a good majority of you are awesome. So happy mother. Yeah, you guys but um, so so yeah, I mean today like anniversary about mom's death was just a couple weeks ago and it was like and then Mother's Day is like right around the corner from from from that and
Speaker: So it, it does be a little, a little different. I, you know, the first, the first few years, I absolutely dreaded mother's day, but, you know, I tried to put a smile on and kind of go with the flow. Cause it's mother's day. I tried to make it so special for, for like my ex -wife and stuff like that, which I don't think my punk ass kids have even messaged or called. So I told them to, I know mine haven't because they, they're not allowed to use phones. Yeah.
Speaker: But I saw a man that showed the difference between Mother's Day and Father's Day. Yeah. Mother's Day shows lobster on a beach war. Father's Day is like a hungry man dinner. Yeah, Salisbury State. And I was like, you know what? I can handle that.
Speaker: I don't like, well, I don't like celebrating anything that, that has like me at the center of it. So like my birthday, you know, like I said, I turned 40 this wife was last year. She says, what do you want to do for your birthday? I said, nothing. I want the day to go by. Like nothing ever happened. Yeah. And the one, I think it was like, uh, when I turned like 35 or something,
Speaker: It was the perfect day because I wasn't drunk when I was. Oh, did you just look it up? No, no, no, no. Somebody commented he was drunk when he recorded it. It was fucking super sweet. However, is the first time I've seen you without a hat on because you didn't have a hat on the video. And you look like the dude from The Walking Dead, Eugene. Yeah, I saw that.
Speaker: You look like from The Walking Dead. It was hilarious. He's the smart guy that's got a mullet. Oh, and he's always, he's always talking. That's a negative from, you know, he, he, he overplays the smartness and he's it. And then I was like, holy shit. Fuck. I'll go crack your motherfuckers. Eugene from The Walking Dead.
Speaker: I'm not allowed to have a mullet. I thought about it. I contemplated it, but I don't think summer is going to get a go for a mullet. My my wife constantly hair. You need to cut your hair, but she wants me to cut my hair like her favorite artist, which is a reggae tone singer. It's Yandel and he's got money. What? Not I don't know. Yeah, I don't know if you want to give it to us. You tried to get in the car with me. OK.
Speaker: Did you see that? There's a there's a video clip. This lady or she asked to borrow money and she just got in the car with the lady and wouldn't get out until the lady took her where she wanted to go. That's how you get stabbed in the fucking no kidding because I'm like, you know what? I'll be doing 95 pass where you want to go and you want to get out. You're going to jump because we're going straight to the police station and I'll let them tase your ass to get the fuck out of my car.
Speaker: You're getting stabbed right in the neck. The moment you jump in my car and refuse to get out, I'm stabbing you in your neck. I'm going to be pissed because you're bleeding all over my fucking car. Exactly. Well, like as a car guy, I've never had a car that wasn't my specifications. You know, like I customize everything with the exception of maybe few when I was younger. But you the guy when you stop at a stoplight here, there'll be guys cleaning windshields.
Speaker: And they lean up against the car and I'm like, dude, fresh paint. My wife's like, who cares? I got, I fucking care. I fucking busted my ass painting this fucking car. Cause I'm not, I'm not kind of guy like, fuck it. I'll paint it myself. I got all the equipment.
Speaker: And I pay my wife's car and I'll do it myself. No, no, no, I do it. I do it right. I took me the fastest paint job I ever did took me 12 days. And that was the one I did in my wife's car because she was like, I need my car back. But it takes me minimum two weeks to do bring my car to you to have it painted. My wife's car looks awesome. Except for the fact that
Speaker: the color scheme that she picked that color do you want? She's like, I don't know, do something girly. I was like, all right, so it's pink and black. No, the Derby fucking pink. It's actually bubble gum and Mercedes jet black. Yeah, the bottom half is all black. A lot of people commented on the on my Facebook page that I should have done black on top.
Speaker: because the wind thought about it and it wouldn't look the same. It would look weird. The bank on top really sets it off and that the hood is. And it's pink and. Too much pink. Well, for the longest time, I was like, I'm not going to drive all the disbanded pink, but it gets so many looks and people ask who painted it. And I'm like, fuck it. I'll drive it. I don't mind.
Speaker: Yeah, I don't know if I can drive around a pink car You get used to it and you get to wave at people like you remember remember back in the day how Bob Smith used to wave at us I do that But I also I'm the kind of guy that'll pull up next to you in a in a At a stop stare at you and pick his nose
Speaker: without blinking. And then the light turned green and I drive off and people are like, what the fuck? Because I find it hilarious. The hardest thing to do when you do that, not laugh. I have found myself talking to dogs.
Speaker: Yeah, like if I pull over the stop sign and somebody's in our stoplight somebody's in the car beside me and they got a dog and the windows down I was doing it one day Right out here. I just pulled out of the apartment and this lady was holding this like little stupid dog And the dog was like they are
Speaker: And I was like, hey buddy, what's going on? And the lady looked at me, she's like, hey. Are you talking to me? No, I'm talking to your dog. Yeah, she was like, hey, how are you doing? I was like, no, I'm talking to the dog. And she's like. Her name's Rover. He'll talk back. Yeah. And I was just carrying on, I got rid of the dog. Her husband was, they were an older couple. Oh, I'm like, I'm not talking to you, lady. I'm talking to your dog. I don't fucking like people. All right. I like dogs.
Speaker: Our neighbor, she's going to see. I find myself doing that all the time. Oh, I do too. I'll be at a grocery store, walking through the parking lot. I'll be a dog in the car and I'll just stop and start talking. Would you have a cigarette? What's going on? One of our neighbor ladies, one of our neighbor ladies, she's got this big fuck off Saint Bernard. The house next to her has these two medium sized dogs. And then Taos over has two miniature schnauzers.
Speaker: And as I walked from my house to the gate back and forth, I'm like, hi. Hey, hi. Cause in that same Bernard is gorgeous. My wife's like, hi, Beethoven. And I'm like, Oh my God, that's a dated reference. She's like, every Saint Bernard to me is Beethoven. The other kids that grew up in the nineties. Right.
Speaker: I would much rather talk to dogs than I would to talk to people. If I look like Olivia, maybe less people will try to conversate with me. I don't like people, people. I don't like people. What is this crazy guy doing? Who's he talking? Oh, he's talking about a dog. Let's avoid that guy. You're an obvious dog person. What are your stance on cats?
Speaker: I don't mind cats. I have a name for every cat. As long as I do not like cats in the house. Because I cannot do the smell of litter boxes. Oh, yeah. I officially cannot stand people who have cats and don't have them declawed or fixed and the man all over the place. Yeah, that's disgusting.
Speaker: I have a name for every cat that I see. I call it speed bump. Yeah. I mean, I won't hurt a cat but I don't mind. I won't. I won't intentionally but I won't slow down either. As long as they're not in my house or
Speaker: You know, like you get the strays out here or whatever and I'll, I'll play with them outside and pet them and love everything, but just stay out of my house. Yeah. I'm not, uh, my kid wants a cat really bad and I'm like, well, a, we had a cat when he was a.
Speaker: And I couldn't breathe. It was the first time. I'm not technically allergic to anything, but that cat was in the house. And I was like, it looked like I had coronavirus or something. I was like snotting all over the joint. My wife's like, maybe it's the cat. I'm like, I don't know, but let's get rid of the fucking cat and find out. The cat was gone a couple of days later. I was fine. So thankfully, we can't have a cat. Nice. Oh. Yeah.
Speaker: So, I was talking to a buddy of mine last night on TikTok. I was a little busy, busy on TikTok. I was all over the joint. I was all over the joint. But a buddy of mine came in. He's a musician. Dude can sing. He does like EDM music.
Speaker: He can sing, he can rap, everything like that. Love the kid to death. He tells Summer all the time that she stole him away from me. And I was like, it's okay. It's a TikTok husband. Yeah, pretty much. I was like, we still have our thing. Just, you know, we'll keep it on the... We can always do Brokeback Mountain style. Yeah.
Speaker: I can't quit you. I'm moving so **** up. I've never seen it. Oh my god. I've never seen it but uh but uh I was talking to him last night and I was like, dude, uh uh A on the podcast and B uh you gotta send me some music so I can put it out, put it on when I when I. Yeah. Upload the podcast and stuff but uh check him out on
Speaker: Okay, this is this is tiktok name and I was gonna say send me link He does some amazing stuff and he's starting to blow up too. So it's like oh, that's cool What you fucking forget about me when you blow up money because I have a I have a buddy of mine I went to high school with a clear fork. He's he's a he's a teacher But he also does he does stand -up. I
Speaker: Slowly starting to blow up on tick -tock and and I want to do an interview with him I think be fun because my biggest curiosity is I know which stand -up communities. I like I'm curious on Where what influenced him you know what I mean? Yeah Actually the guy that I was live with last night for several hours. I told him that because he's writing a book series Okay, like vampire stuff But he's a cool dude. I was like
Speaker: You can talk about your book and everything. I'll be down. Yeah. Well, I mean, I think it occasionally, even if we do it for like 20, 30, asking a few questions about their, what they are just kind of, you know, little, little change, like interviews and stuff. I think it was, uh, kind of enlighten ourselves as well. Yeah. I don't know. Was I getting nervous last night? I was, I was networking. That's what they say in the business. I'm thinking of the lingo.
Speaker: I watched I watched that new cartoon movie on Netflix with the kids last night. So those versus robots. That was good movie. Holy shit, dude. It was hilarious. My son suckered me into watching it with him last week watching. He's like, Mitchell's in the machines. I was like, OK, let's see what it's all about. And I said, my wife, I subscribe to this. It shows upcoming movie trailers. There's like 10 trailers in one.
Speaker: In one video and that was like the third one is on and my wife is like holy crap That looks good, and I said yeah, this is the movie our kids been begging us to watch with him So when when the kids got home last night, we were like yeah, let's go ahead and rock this move So I made salad I made our the pasta salad thing again, and we we sat there eating salad and Watching that movie it was it was actually it was that spider -man multiverse movie Which was which was excellent?
Speaker: That was a phenomenal movie. I think we've watched it. I know my first movie about 7 .6 million times. Yeah. I've watched it several times too. I actually really liked that movie or the second one. Yeah.
Speaker: I thought it was interesting that they did the mild of Morales thing. I thought it was going to be because it's woke, but it's not. They didn't do it because it's woke. It's because it's the next stage of Spider -Man kind of thing. That's what Stan Lee said. Underneath the mask, anybody could be Spider -Man. That's cool about Spider -Man. The new Spider -Man movie that's going to be coming out, the third one with Tom Holland, while they're bringing back
Speaker: The first two spider -man's I'm curious how they're gonna do that But they're supposed to be introducing Miles Morales They introduced Miles Morales's cousin her uncle in Was the one with the was the first I think it was the first one With it with the split in two
Speaker: I think it was the one that had Keaton in it. Yeah. Yeah. They introduced that guy. Tom Holland actually interrogates him. Oh, yeah. And he's like, dude, I got ice cream in here. You're a criminal. Got to go. But that's supposedly going to be that's the guy that played. That's Miles Morales. Yeah. Well, that's what this third movie is supposed to be.
Speaker: Basically in the in the multiverse and that's why they're gonna have all three spider -man and I think They had said maybe Deadpool will make his MCU debut which I can't wait for and either that or or the dr. Strange part two Right. Well, I actually enjoyed dr. Strange. I didn't think I'd like it because the trailer just like one letter for dr. Strange I was like, I don't know that looks weird. I
Speaker: But then when I actually watched it, I was like, okay, yeah, it makes sense. I absolutely loved one of my favorite movies in the MCU. I like the character. Yeah, it's one of those things I was like for the next Deadpool movie. I want to see that Ryan Reynolds movie, Free Guy. I've only ever seen that. See, it's.
Speaker: It's kind of like a grand theft auto game and he's one of the main, he's one of the people that just walk around and, but he realizes he's in a video game or something like that. It looks funny. I think I, I think I, I think I may have actually have seen something about that to be honest. It looked really good. That the hit bands, bodyguard or whatever, supposed to be doing a sequel to that. Yeah. Which the first one was great because. Oh yeah.
Speaker: about the biggest Samuel or whatever. Yeah. Uh, I'm not, I like Sam Jackson, but I've, I watch Ryan Reynolds read a book. He put that guy on the screen to watch. He's hilarious. Yeah. And I want to try his gin. He bought that gym company. Hey, your gin. Oh yeah. Supposed to be right. I don't really think I'm not a gin guy. I don't even know how you're supposed to drink gin.
Speaker: Yeah, well, I'm not I'm not a hard alcohol guy in the first place, you know, I'm mainly because we grew up in the middle of nowhere it's You know for the longest time I thought scotch was like tasted like butterscotch boy
Speaker: because for the longest time, I see, you know, you see people in movies, you know, and I, like I said, I base almost everything I do off a movie and you know, everybody's got some like scotch must be tastes really good. Boy, was I wrong. No, no, don't do it. Uh no, that's like my dad and I got a buddy of mine. They they drink bourbon and I mean, it's it's alright but he'll he'll pour a glass and sit there and drink it and then go get another
Speaker: Yeah, it's all right. But I'll just stick with my beer. Yeah. The only the only hard alcohol I drink is vodka and I put that in a white Russian. White Russian. Those things are awesome. I drink whiskey and I drink vodka and stuff like that. But you know, I whiskey and Pepsi and I'll mix with Mountain Dew. So the only problem with vodka is that sneaky Russian bastard. Yeah. How many times I've torn into a bottle of
Speaker: of vodka. And then all of a sudden, you're laying out on the floor. Yeah, you're like, damn, I just drank that whole bottle. I don't feel Yeah, it's I used to go to a bar with with my ex. And one of the girls she worked vodka. Do you remember the little homie dolls? They're like,
Speaker: Oh yeah. They're like an inch and a half tall or something like that. She took one and a shot of vodka and go, help her. She's drowning. And I was doing like shots of vodka saving this fucking drowning homie doll. Like she's all right now. Sit her down. She knows she's drowning helper. And she obviously can't swim, but like the guy next to me is like, that's going to hit you fucking like a rock. Yeah.
Speaker: And it, oddly enough, it never did. I'll, I'll, usually I'll limit my, my, uh, my, my liquor, my heart, my heart, liquor, whatever. It's just a, you know, two or three drinks. I actually, uh, discovered I liked Don Julio with, uh, uh, it's still tequila and like a mellow yellow or a, or a Mountain Dew kind of thing. So good.
Speaker: I, I, I try to, I try to limit like two or three drinks when I start drinking like whiskey or, but every once in a while I'll be in a mood and I'll just tear one off and dick. It's just like whiskey. You can feel it like, yeah, I'm getting drunk and I'm, I'm pretty fucking drunk, but that damn vodka. Yeah. That house kicks you square in the mouth. Yeah. You just got in a fight with Chuck Norris. Yeah. You're just like, what the fuck?
Speaker: Fuck man i'm done wherever I land is where i'll stay until tomorrow afternoon That reminds me my wife and I we went to the best bar in town here is cocobongo and We did a it's called it's called the bar crawl and you go to three different bars and you end up at cocobongo Well one bar late now since we know the promoter. He's like, yeah, I would just go ahead and throw you in here
Speaker: And my buddy was in there and he's like, you're, you're late. You're several. So he gets me a yard. What a yard is, is a drink that is literally two feet tall. Yeah. It is about a shot glass wide funnel. And he's like, here, drink this. And I thought it was like rum and Coke, but apparently it was Jack and Coke. And I down that thing, Coco Bongo, and I'm drinking rum and Cokes and stuff. And, and then a buddy of mine gives me Don Julio and, and
Speaker: the the
Speaker: something. I don't know what it was. The next thing I remember is the security walking me the door because I threw up twice.
Speaker: According to my wife, not only did I throw up, but the guy standing next to me slid in it and came up with chicken on the side of his face and he just kept dancing. And I was like, oh, she's like, I wish I would have recorded it. It was hilarious. I can honestly say that in all my time, I've never thrown up in a bar or while I was at a bar.
Speaker: Now yeah very often, but it's happened to me a couple of times now. I have thrown up I've only done that once in my life. You can fucking rally man. I know I've only never done it once and I uh, I've uh I've been at like like hall gross and stuff and been like oh you feel it as I
Speaker: You start looking around for someplace to go and yeah, you're going, you know, much like, uh, Billy Bob and varsity blues, you just call some dinosaurs. Yeah. Come back out. Give me a beer. You feel better. Well, the years and we were at, and this, this anybody living in Cancun, this will totally date it. We were at a fat Tuesdays.
Speaker: when a buddy of mine was the manager. So he's getting me these, they're little pony beers, the little baby beer was drinking them. And we were pounding those and about an hour and a half before midnight, I went outside, which didn't make sense because we were on the beach. I could smoke right there. Hey, there she is. She says she can't hear it.
Speaker: But we went, I went outside to have a cigarette, which was odd because you, and I threw up in the bushes and came back in, grabbed a beer and just kept drinking. And, and my, my girlfriend at the time was like, did you just go throw up? I'm like, yeah, why? Like, yeah, well, it's not midnight yet. I've had, I've had several instances where I'm just like,
Speaker: When I when I puke I'm done a Lot of people are like that. A lot of people are like once it once it once it's game over man. Yeah, I know I'm done I've hit my limit. Yeah a Buddy of mine when we live down in Charleston him and his girlfriend came down to visit She got
Speaker: We all got fucked up. Uh but she she she got sick of the Uber car. Nice. But like not in the like somehow in the oven on the guy's car, this guy, this big suburban and the dude was super cool because he was like, hey, man, uh total wine and more clothes and like a half hour. Can we stop there? He's like, fuck yeah, man. He's like, yeah, well, I'll pull right up front and
Speaker: you guys go get whatever you want and uh buddy he left his cell phone in the uber guy's truck so we called him and he's like hey I'm I'm dropping somebody off right around the corner give me like 20 minutes and I'll and I'll drop it off to you so the guy actually made quite a bit of money from us that night just in Tim sure because we tipped our and then he like came back and brought brought his phone back
Speaker: I should, I gotta, I'm going to go drive some more and he's like, what? I mean, but yeah, she, she was, she was on wreck that night with Chad. Once she started puking, it was game over and it was just like, Oh, I've, I've never, I can definitely vouch for that, but I do remember, uh,
Speaker: My birthday when you're coming back from the house from the with my then at the time girlfriend And the cab driver yelling at me because I kept the door open. Yeah, I literally had the passenger door Door open my head hanging out the door just in case Yeah, if I close the door, I was done. I would I know I would have thrown up
Speaker: Oh, yeah. The room starts spinning and you're like, when you lay down on your bed and the room starts spinning, you literally have to put one foot on the floor. On the floor, yes. Yeah, on the floor. That works. I have many nights of stuff like that. Yeah. It might have just been a random night that we went out. We were coming back from the bar.
Speaker: I felt it in my truck. I was like, I was like, yeah, basically I was like, dude, just, just pull over. He's like, I can't pull over on the freeway. And I'm like hanging out the window, just all down the side of his truck. And I was like, it's not in your truck. It's on the side of it. He was so pissed. He was like, I was going to pull. I was like, dude.
Speaker: It was coming there was nothing I could do No, I was like drunk as hell. He's doing like 70 down the freeway. I'm hanging out the window About a year or two after I had moved here and with a friend of mine he worked at senior frogs and another buddy of mine his and this dude got so hammered and
Speaker: He didn't know the words to the song, but he kept singing the Davey Crockett song out the window. That's all he knew. And he would just scream at every block. You know, we're driving down the main, main drag and there's, you know, it's 50 blocks long and he's like, Davey, Davey Crockett. And we're like, dude, learn the song. He's like, I don't know the song.
Speaker: No, that's like singing karaoke when you're drunk. You should never do that. I'm always too chicken shit to get on stage. I have to be hammered. I've only done karaoke a few times.
Speaker: there was a bar that we used to go to all the time. I hated this fucking place, but we always went there. We called it the big sleaze. It was the big easier, but we all called it the big sleaze and I hated going there, but we always wound up there and we always had fun. It was just, it, it sucked because one side was a country bar and the other side was a hip hop bar. It was all in one big building. Interesting. Yeah. The only thing that separated them was a, was a fucking door doorway. Okay. Yeah.
Speaker: people were always dumb there but and then they had like a bar a karaoke bar built into the we were there one night and I was drunk as hell and
Speaker: Thank you. Got me to do karaoke. And I was like, well, if I go up there, you guys got to go with me. And they're like, oh, yeah, I'm up there with me. So I instantly started cussing them out. I got the microphone and I start cussing them out. The karaoke lady, poor thing. She she played the wrong song. And I was like, this is the wrong song, you dirty bitch. Now, everyone's well, my friends will be like, do you want to go to karaoke with us? And she's like, you want to go to karaoke? I'm like, no.
Speaker: I'm not even remotely in the mood or are for me to go. Yeah. I like to do it and have fun, but I like to do it when you can get like three or four year buddies and you guys just go out there and have them fun. But going to this karaoke bar with people that I know by name, but I couldn't pick them out of a fucking lineup.
Speaker: Exactly. Now, it's embarrassing enough. Yeah. No, that night I basically pulled the Adam Sandler from the from the wedding because they were like trying to get me off stage and I was like, oh, fucking microphone.
Speaker: I was like walking around the bar with the mic. So you go, shut up! Then they were just like, fuck it, because everybody knows the bar with the microphone, just talking to random people. My new MC is here. We need the microphone back. Fuck your microphone. Don't get another one. $25 at Radio Shack.
Speaker: That was my last karaoke picture on the wall. Do not allow this man in. All karaoke events are my stupid thing. No, it was something like I have friends here, but I mean, I don't hang out with anybody. Yeah. Where my best friend is my wife. And she's the same way I am. Don't put me on stage unless everybody in the room I know personally. Yeah, but
Speaker: also I'm not I'm not the best reader yeah so instead of reading the lyrics I'm like words are hard yeah but it's also in Cancun the songs I know they don't have
Speaker: of the
Speaker: Over here the random strangers that I just met. They're like, we're like, oh, yeah, we're best friends. They're like, hey, we're gonna sing karaoke. You want to go with us? Like, let's go sing karaoke together. Like four or five of us up on the scene. I'll do that all in different pitches and tones. Like my dad, my dad, we used to go, my dad is not a role. So when we would go to Cedar Point, he'd always say the same thing. I'm going to the red garter saloon. Yeah. If you need me, that's where I am.
Speaker: And my mom would be like, you're gonna go spend bar. He's like, No, but I'm gonna have a couple drinks. She says, How are you gonna do that? He says, when you're at the bar, eventually we find somebody to buy you a beer for no reason. And he would go to the bar and my mom would end up driving home.
Speaker: That was me. I was like, Hey, you want a beer? I got you. I've had that happen to a couple of times here. Like I, I, uh, I, when I was doing tattoos and piercing, I'd be some chick and her boyfriend's like, Oh, you're pretty cool. You want to come to the bar with us? I'm like, yeah. Okay. And I always had these, I'd always say, Oh, I ain't got no money. Oh, don't worry about it. We'll cover you. All right.
Speaker: $300 in my pocket. I have I have never had I've never had anybody buy for me or anything like that until my ex my ex wife her
Speaker: her mom's a lesbian and she's been with her wife for 20 some odd years now, but her mom's best friend is a gay guy. And before they legalized gay marriage and everything, you could do a ceremony. I think is what it called was called like a civil union kind of deal. Yeah. So, uh, when he got married, well kind of, you know, basically to his husband after the, like the family thing and all that, they're like, well, let's, let's go to a bar. And I was like, Oh yeah, let's go to a bar.
Speaker: And they're like, well, we're good. It's a bar, right? They got beer. They got beer. Yeah, I mean, yeah, he's like, OK, we wouldn't wasn't sure. I'm like sure how I feel about it. I was like, I fucking love you guys. First of all, like his husband was cool as hell. I was like, so why wouldn't I want to go? I never in my life had anybody buy me beer bar until that night. I did not pay a dime for a beer. And like that's the life.
Speaker: You're gonna get drunk. Yeah, and they knew I was straight I was there with my ex -wife And I was like, I just went up to the bar because I had football season up and I was watching that for a minute It was walked up. He said what are you drinking? I said Budweiser and he's like
Speaker: What's your girlfriend drinking? And I was like, I got you guys. And I was like, okay, cool. Okay. And I came back to the table and I was like, yeah, this dude just bought me a beer. He thinks I'm hot. Yeah. My wife and I, when we, we sold tours on, uh, uh, in the mall, this is years ago, we met this, this girl, she comes in and she's like, where's the guy strip bars? I'm like, I don't know. And my wife's like, Oh, there's a, there's a gay bar downtown.
Speaker: That's uh, they have stripper night And i'm like i'm good Yeah, but somehow I got wrangled into it and I literally just made sure I was facing the wall You know what? The worst part about it the worst part about it is my wife is like, holy crap And I was like what she's like look and i'm like no but i'm but for some reason You're curious I turned her. I know we were we were a good 20
Speaker: third stage and I turn around just as this dude goes bent over, assed out. He bends over to pick up his thong or whatever, literally just as I turn around and I'm like, oh my God, I saw his colon. I can see his tonsils from here. And I was like, what? No. But I was like, okay, I'm going to switch over to Scotch.
Speaker: it was it was bad. It was that night when we were going to the game wars. Oh, I got like I said, I mean, I didn't I didn't pay for a single drink that night. No, I didn't. I was like, I was like, this is the coolest **** **** everything. Yeah. And uh
Speaker: I wouldn't go into a gay bar by myself. My mother -in -law, my mother -in -law at the time, she was her friend, they were like, you know, they just tried to hit on you. I was like, I don't give a damn. They gave me alcohol. I was like, they know I'm straight. Every time one of them would be like, yeah, we know. We can tell. Just checking. Trust me. I'm cool to drink with you boys.
Speaker: Yeah. Hey, hey, I'm straight. I'm straight. I'm straight. Yeah, we get it. We're getting it. Oh my god. The straight guy at the gay bar. But it was fun. I mean, they're fun and it was I wouldn't I wouldn't frequent the joint but I had a good time because I got hammered for free and we've gone a few times. There was um there was a bar on Sundays that did drag shows.
Speaker: Okay. Downtown. So much fun, man. Oh, it's ridiculous. I love going to the drag shows because the people there just... And you're looking at the stage going, that's a pretty man. What in the world is going on? Really?
Speaker: I'm confused right now. I've watched that. My wife was watching that RuPaul drag race. And I didn't know it. I came in the room and I was like, that's a pretty person. That's a pretty chick. And that's a dude. I'm like, oh, still pretty dude. No, I'm questioning my sexuality. I'm going to drink in the corner and cry. I can't quit you. I was like, you're telling me that's a dude? Yeah. Holy shit. It's great. There's a guy on TikTok.
Speaker: I can't think of watching his videos because he does a lot of like the Disney characters and stuff. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and the makeup and everything and When you when you see it just looks like a normal dude, then he puts all the makeup on this. Oh My gosh, that is awesome pretty looking dude No, I there's a show on Netflix called glow up Mm -hmm, and it's about makeup and you know all these it's like it's a
Speaker: reality. It's like, I wouldn't call it a game show, but it's a, you know, they start with like 20 people and they work their way down to one, you know, like, like Ink Masters and stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they, we watched one art or something like that. And they, they, they literally bring in dudes and
Speaker: Little thongs and chicks with pasties on and they paint away by the the archers artistry Of that and we started watching glow up and it's very similar You know, they do all these things and with with makeup. I'm like that's impressive Yes
Speaker: Fortunately my kids are old My daughter I make sure my kids ate before I started. Yeah But the really good one that you might actually like is blood These guys blow glass
Speaker: Oh, um, I think I've seen that that's my ethics. They have one that I love. Um, where they did all the, the, the horror, uh, mask and stuff like that. Yeah. I can't remember what the base off or something like that.
Speaker: Yeah, face off. That's that's the one where they did the body art they airbrush these Half naked chicks and and dudes and They take they'd set three or four people together. It looks like one thing Yeah, but then when you zoom out and look at it along and if you're like, wow, there's somebody's face. There's something I've seen that they did they did Album covers one time I think yeah like historical album covers and they did like whatever but
Speaker: The one show that gets me that all Once I started watching it and I I'm done for the rest of the night is forged in fire. Oh, yeah. Yeah I can't watch it on anywhere but except for YouTube but yeah, I I pick and choose the one I want to see whether they make like needle from Game of Thrones or or or Really one I found interesting was
Speaker: I think they made the sword from sword in the stone. Yeah. They just, I find it so fascinating that they go in there and the competition starts and they have like three hours. And they make something that's amazing. And they're like, all right, now the second portion, then they cut somebody and then the second portion, they have to put a handle on it and make it a fully, and they basically make a life in five hours. And some of them are just,
Speaker: the the
Speaker: Tiny basic amount of Amazing stuff Doesn't that make you want to go build your own Forge and rock some shit out not really because I'd probably catch myself on fire I've literally I used to make I used to make keychains out of wood and I I learned that you can make a forge to melt aluminum and I want to I want to make a forge and and make my same keychains out of Out of aluminum. Yeah
Speaker: the the the
Speaker: like I watch shows like I'm like I could do that and we were watching somebody using a homemade forge and my wife before I said anything my wife turned no no no I was like what you don't watch this he says no you're not making one of those she says you're not making a forge
Speaker: You need one of those live recordings. The next thing I go by is going to be an on air sign.
Speaker: I have to send you a picture of this. My, my, uh, my weapon set up at my door. It rests perfect right on the lip above my, my door on the insides of, you know, some shit goes down. I can just, I've got, I've got none of the trucks hanging on my door.
Speaker: That's why it sounds like your kid's kicking in the door. You got all that stuff clanging up and I got a baseball bat.
Speaker: at waist level beside my door. You expect dad, you have a problem. Yeah, they're like, what's all this? I'm like, you never know when some shit's going to go down. You know, scene that scene in Beverly Hills. I'm like, I'm like, you never know when fucking vampires are going to bust in my door or I'm ready. I said that the other day, I was like, you never know when vampires are going to bust in my door. And they're like, dad, they can't come in unless you give them permission.
Speaker: You know of course the Walking Dead wasn't enough for me, so I started watching z nation and
Speaker: That's a good move or a good show. I'm not worried about real people breaking into my house. I'm worried about zombies. I'm worried about fictional monsters breaking into my house. I often wonder what I would be like in the zombie apocalypse. Would I? I mean, who would I? No, but I mean, who would I?
Speaker: Z nation who would I be and I'm like I'm DJ Quill No, cuz in zombie nations DJ Quill he's in a bunker in Alaska. Yeah, that's me Far away from the action going hey watch out
Speaker: I'm ready. Don't don't give me the World War Z zombies. Give me walking better Donna dead zombies or something like that Man, I'm the slow ones. Yeah, I'm in the mix. I'm out there Give me the slow ones not see nation where they're here. Some of them are hopped up on meth Yeah, give me the slow slow ones that I can slowly take my time getting out of the car off the woman I
Speaker: wave a couple times and then kill it. I don't want World War Z. So 28 days later, zombies that are that are smart. And I don't know that'll be my luck. If there is a zombie apocalypse, I'll get one. I'll get zombies smarter than me. I'm dead. I don't want Resident Evil zombies that have been mutated. Yeah. Give me some simple play. I love that movie.
Speaker: Two seconds I quote that time actually my lock screen has a slice of fried gold It's a it's a drawing of of Shawn in the shirt with with with the red and in his name tags and says a slice of fried gold He's holding a beer. I Love that movie trilogy of the the they're called the cornello trilogies cornellos that ice cream that they eat and
Speaker: Have you seen the trilogy? It's Shaun of the Dead and the World's End. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I love Simon Pegg. Nick Frost. Those guys are hot buzz. They are you and me. You're Nick Frost. I'm Simon Pegg. Skinny guy and a chubby guy. You're bigger than me. You're wider and taller than me.
Speaker: But so I gotta be the zombie locked in the shed that you play video. That movie apparently has the biggest cult following. I think when I'm done here, we're going to watch it. Well, my son and I was watching the Mortal Kombat, the original Mortal Kombat. Oh, yes. And I told him, I said, I got to read. But when I get done, we'll finish watching and then we watch the second one, too.
Speaker: Because he just, the girls were watching Annabelle and he came in here and he's like, I was watching agents and she's like, can we watch a movie? I was like, yeah, buddy, calm up here on the bed and let's watch a movie. What do you want to watch? So he wanted to watch Mortal Kombat and I'm like, all right, cool. We'll watch that. Sonya in that movie is so hot. I think she's kind of goofy looking. She's kind of chick to black. I'd let her kick my ass.
Speaker: I'm a lover not a fighter. I'm ready. I'll take that beating. Just touch me. Just touch me once. You gorgeous broad you
Speaker: because you see you see what she does to Kano in that movie and he's a sexist thing. Yeah, I will. Just a dirty whore. You're talking about vampires. You're talking about vampires not being able to come in unless they're invited. So I take it you've seen True Blood. I love it. I love that show. I need to I need to finish it. I got to like season three or four and then I stopped watching it. Oh my god.
Speaker: Um, well, I would say vampires. Cause I just watched Abraham Lincoln, the vampire hunter. Yes. I want to see that. I have, it's really good. Certain movies like that. I'm like, I want to see it, but I'm not going to rush stop. I'm going to, I'm going to run out to see it. Uh, it's, it's that one. They got ever in the, uh, uh, vampire. And then they got the zombie one and the zombie one. And they're two totally different fucking movies, but they're both really good. They, uh, has got a young.
Speaker: Yeah, oh wow What I like about true blood I like the concept of of
Speaker: So you've only like four maybe I honestly don't I honestly don't know how deep I got into it. I might have seen all the way up to the last one season is really weird. But because they started getting real big into like all the fairies and okay, so okay, I did spoiler alert. So he's a fairy. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I know that. But is it me or is Tara stupid hot?
Speaker: Sookie's friend. I find her oddly sexy. She has a directiveness to her on that show. Yes, I will agree with you there. I don't think she's super hot or anything like that. Eric Northman's prodigy, what's her name? Pam? Holy crap. I'll let that woman bite the shit out of me. She can take all my blood. Oh, she's gorgeous.
Speaker: I love him. You know, he died in real life. Yeah, I think I did hear about that was a while back wasn't it? Yeah. But he is hilarious. He's he's one of those extremely extremely gay guy. But you were like, really? That guy's good. That he was straight in real life.
Speaker: No, oh, yeah, well in real life. Yeah, but his character i'm talking about Some of the best lines. Oh, I absolutely introduced him basically and he went out there and kick his rednecks Burger in this joint comes with But the funniest character throughout the entire series jason stackhouse that dumbest idiot
Speaker: but he's
Speaker: five on Dexter. So I didn't see the last season. Now I'm just bringing it back, but it's cool to rewatch it again because you know, you forget about certain things or you see things that you didn't, you didn't catch on to before. And it's like, I catch him in season one and realize that he was the day. Yeah, exactly. Well, it's like, uh, my kids love true blood.
Speaker: I don't know if that's a very kid friendly show. Well, it's not something like, I'm like, hey, sit around kiddies. We're going to watch this weird show. My wife and I bought the DVDs. There's a lot of nudity in that show. Yes, there is. But my kids are really cool about it. If it comes to anything remotely, they're closing their eyes, covering their faces and going, is it over yet? And I'm like, uh,
Speaker: I find myself now that, especially now that my kids are getting older, a couple of weekends ago, my middle daughter and I, cause Sundays, typically Sundays, I don't do anything. I just lay around. It's my day off. My middle daughter and I were laying in here and we watched scary movies all day.
Speaker: Okay. We watched the remake of Nightmare on Elm Street and the remake of which movies I've seen a lot of times. But, you know, there's sex scenes in all those movies and I'm like, yeah. Fast forward. Fast forward. Fast forward. Awkward as fuck sitting there with you.
Speaker: Wow. The kids are in here. Yeah. And it's just like best floor. And then you think you get far enough past it and you. And it's right as a good part. She's like. She's like dad. Because now they're old enough and they stand that stuff like they're not. Yeah. They're not stupid to it anymore, but it's like, yeah, I'm just going to. Yeah.
Speaker: Certain certain watching walking dead. I was so glad When they killed Glenn and Abraham that my kids weren't home. Yeah My son my son will literally watch whatever I'm watching and I don't shield except for you know, the nudity and stuff I'm like, okay cover your eyes. I'll tell you when it's done but but the the cursing and the blood and guts I'm like You'll see that these and movies
Speaker: And, but that scene was so graphic and so brutal that I was like, well, I mean, that's like, um, and, uh, Oh, I think it was, uh, casino.
Speaker: Yeah. Oh, yeah. When he puts the dude's head in the vise. No, it was the one that had Pesci in it. I think it was casino. I could be wrong. It was in Vegas. And at the end of the movie, spoiler alert, movies like 20 years old. But at the end of the movie, they make Pesci and his brother dig their own grave. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, as an adult, that still makes me squirm. Just shoot them, you know? Yeah, just because Yeah, but it's not it's not overly graphic either. It wasn't super graphic. It was just it's it. Do you hear? It's real. Like, Oh, God.
Speaker: But my, my kid will sit there on YouTube and he'll look up stuff about the walking. Oh, you know, Glenn dies. And I'm like, don't tell me. And he's like, I watched it the other day. And then I saw the scene happen. I was like, wait a minute. You watched this? Yeah. He's like, yeah, it was messed up. I'm like, you think? Actually, technically, uh, Joe Rogan ruined it for me.
Speaker: As I was listening, he was, I noticed they were talking about something and I was like, Oh, that'd be interesting. Walking dead. And they were talking about how he stopped watching after Rick disappears, which is seven. I don't remember. And I was like, fuck you ruined it. He says, but the way they killed Glenn and I was like, asshole or something. I'm like season two at this point, you know,
Speaker: But I mean, that's one of those things like if a show that old at the time, but if a show is old and, you know, like we talk about a lot of old shows and stuff like that, I'm not going to really worry. You know, if you've not seen it yet, then sorry about your luck. Yeah. But like we were talking about season 10 of walking dead. Yeah. That just came out on Netflix or, you know, like winter soldier. Yeah.
Speaker: My son found a four leaf clover. Look at that. Yeah. Speaking of which we've reached the two hour mark. Yeah, I'm impressed with us. That's two in a row. We've gone without major glitches.
Speaker: Yeah, but not major ones like the was episode five or something like that one through fucking One and two were straight. We were pretty cool on those but Like what was it like episode four or something we only did an hour and 20 minutes because we couldn't get this coach And we did we did we did in this one we did have one where you completely you completely
Speaker: blacked out and I was, I was like, yeah, you, yeah, you, you had blacked out right before you said that. Yeah. That was weird.
Speaker: of the
Speaker: And then I'm gonna
Speaker: Never had that I've never had anything like that happen to me. I'm proud to say I was never bullied like that. We've We've officially gone back to high school bully and sorry. Yeah You're a fucking nerd Suck a nerd But yeah, let's go ahead and close her out I guess I gotta clean up
Speaker: My kids are starting to walk into the room it means it's definitely time to get off We don't care about your little podcast
Speaker: If people down the street from Jeff can hear you that's a little laugh If Jeff is taking his head Yeah, they probably are like you and you're a little podcast that little friend think your radio guys don't Shut up
Speaker: this is why when i get rich and famous i'm believing you all yeah he meant that well that's my uh brother -in -law said the other uh my he said to my son he's like they're not funny i'm like he doesn't even speak english how does he know i said if he doesn't like it don't fucking watch dummy he watched like an yeah they're not funny i'm like of course not it's in english you can't understand this
Speaker: I Literally called him and I said listen if you don't like it don't listen to me But you know he's the he's the same one we were talking about that wears way too much cologne so I'm like well I can smell you from over here and
Speaker: blocks away The phone Sixteen year old kid thinks anyway exactly we're not that's not our demographic. Although it will take you if you want to listen Yeah, let's go ahead and do a closing I gotta start cooking. I'm hungry. I
Speaker: No, just kidding. Good for me, you peasants. Bring me my food and feed me. Elevate my feet.
Speaker: And I don't want them cleaning. I'm like, what? She's like, yeah, I know what you're doing. Why you're upstairs in your podcast. You're like, you guys better clean this fucking house by the time I do get, I just tell my kids to clean up their mess. Just clean up your mess. That's all I ask. That's all I ask for my kids. My daughter yesterday came upstairs and they had found a little baby gecko that was maybe an inch long in a shoe box.
Speaker: And they put dirt in the shoe box. Well, the gecko escaped and she decided to play in the dirt. So there was mud all over the bathroom. And it looked like somebody had gone roll around in the mud and then took a shower. And I got up this morning. I got upstairs after finding out, not really realizing what she had done. And I came upstairs into the bathroom and I was like, what the fuck? Of course she wouldn't admit it. She just.
Speaker: I don't know. Well, when I find out it wasn't me, I'm gonna beat their ass. I don't know. I don't know. It wasn't me. Yeah. Not my house anymore. I don't know. And it wasn't me. It's got an ass whooping coming. Yeah.
Speaker: I don't know what it is about bathroom humor like that, but that is the funniest shit I've ever seen.
Speaker: It's like the dumb and dumber scene where Jeff Daniels is sitting on the toilet pretending he's got diarrhea funniest thing I've ever seen Supposedly the the lowest form of humor. I'm like, I don't care if it's lowest for me here or what it's funny It's funny. It's like farts farts unless it's my girlfriend farting on me and stinking up the whole house nice Which seems to be one of her favorite things to do do you do do you do?
Speaker: Do you fart and then go, oh, no, that was me. I don't know who that was. Oh, hell no. I claim mine. Oh, no. My wife is so mad. Well, I shake the walls when I let loose. I have them SBDs every once in a while, you know, Simon Diddley's. And she'll she'll be like, I know that was your brand, my brand, one of my Jack Daniels over here. I find that so funny. No, every once in a while my kids are like,
Speaker: What was that? Oh, I'm like, yeah, that was me. Um, she, she, uh, she's, she's proud of her farts. So she, uh, my wife's always like, that's disgusting. I'm like, yeah, that's why I let it out. If I waited another 20 minutes, it would be worse. It's better out than that.
Speaker: the the
Speaker: But yeah, go ahead and give us a closing sir. All right. Appreciate you guys listening Hopefully slightly entertaining now for all I know we're probably just entertaining ourselves at this point Thanks for listening guys Facebook Those patents or Facebook seem to have issues today, but I see that we'll see you guys again when
Speaker: Wednesday ish and maybe Thursday. Hell, might do it on Tuesday. Change things up a little bit. Who knows? But again, if you guys be so kind, make sure you follow us on all the social medias at nonsensical nonsense and check us out on Spotify. That way you can get all the new episodes if you don't watch and listen to this nonsense live. And in case in case you don't want teen others.
Speaker: Yeah, if you go if you go to anchor go to the anchor app don't direct you to Google play iTunes Where everywhere where where everywhere we're like
Speaker: Well, I don't, I don't know where we're like a fungus. We grow on you. We will eventually grow on you. We are a zombie hoard. We are a zombie hoard. We might, you might like AIDS. There's no podcasts. All righty. So thank you for hanging out with me. Thank you, sir.
Speaker: I'm sure we'll talk throughout the week. I'm sure guys, we'll see y 'all again Wednesday. We are out of, uh, maybe, maybe I can't figure out how to work this thing so we can figure out how to turn it off.
Speaker: I said grandpa what's this picture here it's all black and white and it ain't real clear is that you there he said yeah I was 11
Speaker: Your times were tough back in 35 That was me and Uncle Joe just tryin' to survive a cotton farm And a great depression And if it looks like we were scared and down Like a couple of kids just tryin' to save each other You should've seen it in color
Speaker: This one here was taking over seas In the middle of hell in 1943 In winter You could almost see my breath That was my tail cut and rolled Johnny McKee He was a high school teacher from New Orleans And he had my back right through
Speaker: Like a couple of kids just tryin' to save each other You should've seen it in cover Well, a picture's worth a thousand words But you can't see what that will change The great keep cover You should've seen it in cover
Speaker: This one here is my favorite one This is me and Grandma in the summer sun All dressed up the day we set our vows You can't tell it here but it was hot that June And that rose is red and her eyes were blue Just look at that smile I was so proud
Speaker: That's the story of my life Right there in black and white And it looks like we were scared to death Like a couple of kids just trying to save each other
Speaker: But you can't see what those days of great keep covering You should've seen it in cover
