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Loving Presence
15 Plays15 days ago
Father's Day 2025 Sermon
Recommended
Transcript
Celebrating Fathers and Their Role in Family
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If you're a father here today, i would ask that you please stand for ah second.
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All fathers.
00:00:12
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I would ask that you stand and remain standing while everybody else here recognizes you and applauds you. Everybody else applaud you.
00:00:27
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The title today's sermon is loving presence and it takes real men real fathers standing in the gap in the family and so I applaud you you men today for doing just that please please be seated
00:00:52
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I've just put as a note to myself this morning how thankful are we that we can still celebrate Father's Day
00:01:01
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I fear we're not too far away from simply celebrating genderless day.
00:01:12
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I think there's a real importance to celebrating Father's Day as well as Mother's Day individually. that we still recognize the individuality of both mothers and fathers and their specific roles that each one of them play.
God-ordained Family Roles
00:01:34
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In a sense, I ride the fence here today, so I wanna be real clear this morning. On one hand, I am a traditionalist. Many of you who know me know this.
00:01:45
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I firmly believe that God has ordained a two parent family unit, a husband and a wife.
00:01:57
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And I believe he's done this in such a way where mothers occupy a role within the family and nurture their children. For lack of a better term, it's a feminine role.
00:02:11
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Likewise, God has ordained men who stand in that gap as real fathers, and it is a masculine role. Now I'm also a realist that we live in a fallen, broken world.
00:02:26
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And for many of you, that plays itself out in a broken family or a single-parent family where mothers are playing both the mother and the father.
Biblical Masculinity and Cultural Critique
00:02:38
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Or fathers are playing both the role in the mother, the mother the father. It's a problem, and I realize it. So while we celebrate fathers today, ah for some of you who are single parents, this may very well apply to you as well.
00:02:55
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To further the problem, our culture, for some reason, wants to confuse our traditional family roles. They want to give you a false sense of what it means to be a man, or a husband, or a woman, or a mother.
00:03:11
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And they want to somehow blur the lines between femininity femininity and masculinity.
00:03:19
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There's a real agenda, if you're unaware of it today, that pushes false masculinity. False masculinity would encourage men to hide their emotions and to avoid appearing appearing vulnerable.
00:03:35
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False masculinity encourages men to always be dominant and in control at all times. False masculinity encourages men to handle problems on their own without seeking the help of others.
00:03:48
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and False masculinity encourages men to devalue and to control women. By the way, all of those are unbiblical misrepresentations of masculinity.
00:04:03
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True masculinity actually is represented by you men being present in your families, being present in the lives of your kids and the lives of your wives.
00:04:16
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True masculinity means you're also a listener and not simply a talker.
00:04:23
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Masculinity is ultimately rooted in sacrificial love. How do I know this? Well, because the Bible teaches us this. Our Heavenly Father is ever-present.
00:04:35
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He's always listening, and His love for His children is sacrificial. And so I just put, what's the real need this morning? Well, we need...
00:04:46
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real fathers who will be present as God is present, who will listen as God listens and who will offer themselves in self-sacrifice love for their families. So, fellas, will you stand up and be counted today?
00:05:03
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Not just on Father's Day, but every day. Will you stand and represent true masculinity? Will you stand and take up the role and the responsibility that God has given you?
00:05:19
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You are important.
00:05:23
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If you're sitting next to somebody who stood, would you just turn to them and say, you're really important.
00:05:32
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Louder, I can't hear you.
Understanding Complementarianism
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what One word that came to me all throughout the week was this word vital, crucial.
00:05:51
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It's like when you go to the hospital and they're like, you need blood. Blood is vital. Fathers, I'm here to tell you today, you are vital to your family.
00:06:04
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This is what we're going to look at today. Hopefully you got your outlines when you came in.
00:06:10
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I simply wanted to to play a joke on you today, but I chose not to. I wanted to just for Father's Day have one bullet point on the outline, so all fathers would be really happy.
00:06:23
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But then I thought maybe they would think that's funny.
00:06:28
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We're first gonna look at why fathers are so important. We're gonna look scripturally why why fathers are so important. Second, why their presence is so important. And third, how can we love as God loves?
00:06:40
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This is important. It's important not just for the fathers here, so ladies, I don't want you just to tune out thinking this is the Father's Day message only. um i'm I'm here to let you know that but while I'm a traditionalist in one sense, I'm also a realist.
00:06:55
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Theologically, I hold the position of a complementarianism. And so let me explain what that is just so we're all on the same page up front.
00:07:07
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For a very long time, there was no need to differentiate these two views I'm going to give you because everybody from early on in Christianity to just about the 1950s and 60s believed the way I believe today.
00:07:23
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Complementarianism holds the idea that we are all, men and women, equal in the eyes of God.
00:07:35
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equal in value, equal in dignity. However, there is a distinction.
00:07:42
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We're complementary, but we're very distinct in our roles in marriage, in the family, and in in the church leadership. Men hold different roles.
00:07:55
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Women hold different roles. The other argument is called egalitarianism, and it's one that believes everybody's equal regardless. Women, if you want to do weightlifting, more power to you.
00:08:09
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That's what that role says. We're all equal. Men, if you want to stay at home and cook for the family and provide for the family, that's an egalitarianism view.
00:08:21
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I hold the idea in the biblical view that we're all equal in God's eyes, but we're all distinct in our role. And we'll see that play out here today. Both men and women, Moses tells us in Genesis 1, 27, are created in the image of God.
Spiritual Leadership in Families
00:08:39
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the image of God, he created them, both male and female, he created them. And so if you're created in the image of God today, that's everybody here.
00:08:51
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It's not just a Father's Day message, it's a you message, so so of no sleeping. If you placed your trust in Christ, you're in Christ. This is why we give this moniker. You'll see on some of the emails I send out to the church, it says, in Christ is the way I sign my emails.
00:09:10
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It means that day by day, decision by decision, you are being transformed into the image of Christ. And so I put here in my notes, to start off, we need men and fathers who are being transformed into the image of Christ.
00:09:26
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and who will parent like Christ.
00:09:31
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Men who present, men who are listening, and men who who give of themselves sacrificially. These are the three areas that we're going to look at today. I don't have to point out a Pew research study, even though I could, that tells you how important a man's presence is in the family unit.
00:09:53
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How a supportive husband and a supportive father makes a huge difference in the lives of children and his wives. If you're taking notes, I simply want you write these two words to begin tonight or today.
00:10:05
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Be present. Be present. Husbands, be present. Fathers, be present.
00:10:15
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But it's much more than just being present. It starts with being present because if you're not present, we can't do any of these things i'm going to describe. You've got to be there. You've got to be engaged.
00:10:28
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One of the reasons why fathers are so important is because God has called them to be the spiritual leaders of their households. Genesis 18, 19, you'll see on the screen here.
00:10:40
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For I have chosen him that he may command his children and his household after him. to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, so that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has promised him.
00:10:55
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In other words, fathers, if you want your kids to walk strong in the Lord, then you must not only be present, but you must be engaged. So if you're writing notes, the first part was be present. Right after that, just put be engaged.
00:11:13
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It means you must be far more engaged than you were in the past if you expect your kids' spiritual development to soar.
00:11:25
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You can't simply bring your kids here on Wednesday and Sunday and let us do your job for you. I say that lovingly as your pastor. It means that you're still doing this in your home every other day during the week.
00:11:39
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It also doesn't matter how you were raised. I want to repeat that. This is a stumbling block for many people. I can't or I will not help my children progress because I myself never had a earthly father who was around.
00:11:58
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Brothers and sisters, that is a horrible excuse. Now's the time to take charge. Now's the time to stand up for your kids. Now's the time to let them know i am the spiritual leader of my family.
00:12:13
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He's made you the king of your household. God has given you that. You're the leader. You're appointed to cherish, to encourage, to love, to take care of your children and your wife, who is equal in value, equal in dignity, but different in role.
00:12:35
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I put as a note here, your God-given role is that of a spiritual leader. Ladies, this means you must recognize the man that is in your house has a God-given role to lead the family.
00:12:51
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Kids, this goes the same for you. You must recognize that your dad is the spiritual leader of your house. Notice the Bible doesn't say we honor him and recognize him if he deserves it.
00:13:08
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Because if that was the case, none of us would be able to step in that role. it's hard It's hard to be a God-fearing, ever-present leader of your family. Ladies and kids, you need to prop up your men in your families.
00:13:29
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also put, it's a God-given role, but there's also responsibility that's involved, fathers. So God-given, but father accepted. You can't just ah burst in on your family and say, this is what God says and obey me.
00:13:44
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They have to see you living it out. You have to take that responsibility. And for some of you today, I simply put, this might mean... getting plugged into a Bible class here because you don't know God's Word.
00:13:58
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How are you ever going to teach your kids what God is saying if you yourself don't know what God is saying?
00:14:04
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The Apostle Paul tells us in 1 Timothy 5.8, we have 1 Timothy 5.8, please. 1 Timothy 5.8 implies that fathers have this responsibility to provide not just for their families, not just financially, but for their very spiritual needs.
00:14:23
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But those who won't care for their relatives, especially those in their household, Paul tells us, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than, everybody say it, unbelievers.
00:14:37
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Boy, is that ever convicting as a husband, as a father. If you're unwilling to pour into your children and take that responsibility, if you're unwilling to step up for your family, it says you're worse than an unbeliever.
00:14:52
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In other words, fellas, for some of you this morning, this simply means stepping up to the plate. I had to use one baseball analogy since we were at baseball last night, and that's the only one I could fit into the sermon today.
00:15:04
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Stepping up to the plate means it's time to walk the walk, not simply talk the talk.
Challenges for Modern Fathers
00:15:11
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It's time to stop saying I'm too busy to get to church. I'm too busy to get plugged into a Bible study class. My life is too busy with cheerleading and volleyball and gymnastics and football.
00:15:27
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By the way, when your kids are at those various sports, somebody is influencing them. And it's not you.
00:15:38
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Too many fathers these days have abdicated their duty, meaning they've discarded it. Their sole God-given duty to discipline their kids in love.
00:15:50
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Because they're too busy wanting to be their friends.
00:15:54
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You know, my my own father, who's passed now three years, who will be here at the end of June, this was his main topic he told me many times throughout my teenage years.
00:16:07
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You may want to be my friend, i just want to be your father. That's what he used to always tell me. Fathers, you have a lifetime to be your kids' friends. Right now, you need to be their father.
00:16:21
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When does that stop, by the way? At what age? When you figure that out, you let me know. So those of you with grown kids, guess what? You're still fathering those grown kids.
00:16:31
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It looks different, right? You're not telling them go clean their room. But you you're still pouring into their lives. You're still guiding them with your words.
00:16:42
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And it helps when you can back up those words with Scripture. But you got to know the Scripture to be able to do that.
00:16:50
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Too many don't discipline their kids. And unfortunately what happens is is that pours down to the wife. And the wife becomes the disciplinarian.
00:17:02
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And all the mothers say...
00:17:06
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It's not supposed to be that way, by the way.
00:17:10
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Ultimately, we discipline our children because God the Father disciplines us. And we understand how to relate to our children by looking at looking at how our Heavenly Father relates to us.
00:17:21
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It's a relationship of father to child, not child to father, right? Too often the kids are steering the boat these days in the family.
00:17:33
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The kids are telling the parents, we got to be here and we got to be there. Get in the car and drive me like I'm some type of Uber. You know who you are, parents. I got to be there.
00:17:44
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Our biggest celebration was when our oldest daughter got a car. I thought, I'm free. I'm free. It doesn't work that way.
00:17:54
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Hebrews 12, 9 through 10, if we have that on the screen, please. It says, since we respected our earthly fathers who disciplined us, shouldn't we submit even more to the discipline of the father of our spirits and and live forever?
00:18:09
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For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best that they know how, but God's discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness.
00:18:19
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Discipline, friends, is from God. It's an act of love, and it starts with the fathers, and fathers should take the lead in the family in discipline, and If you're not doing that, today's the day where you start doing that with your own children.
00:18:32
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Give your wives a break. It's not her role. It's your role. She can come alongside you, fellas, when you have it down on how to rightly discipline your kids. It's fantastic when both husband and wife come together and their in their in a unified front when it comes to disciplining kids.
00:18:53
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That way the kids know they can't play one parent off the other.
00:18:59
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That's a side benefit. Why is it so important? Why is their presence so important? This is what we're go to look at next. The Bible tells us that the father's presence the household provides stability for his children and his family as a whole. Proverbs 14, 26 says, Those who fear the Lord are secure. I like the New Living Translation. That's that's a ah good word.
00:19:22
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That family is secure. He will bring refuge for his children. In other words, when a father of a household places himself under the Lord, under surrenders his life to the Lord, he has a fear of the Lord within him.
00:19:37
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then there's a sense of stability and security within the family that comes from God through the Father into the family. do you see how that works?
00:19:48
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the god Your earthly father, when he has a right relationship with God, then provides a sense of security, not just to the kids, but the whole family. I put a note here.
Teaching and Legacy of Faith
00:20:02
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Just look at the schools. I have the benefit of my wife working in the school system.
00:20:11
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And she's thinking herself, oh no, what's he going to say?
00:20:18
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Many of you are teachers, by the way, or retired teachers. You know what I'm getting ready to say is true. You just simply need to look at the drop-off line at school.
00:20:30
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Who's dropping them off and who's picking them up? Or if they're getting dropped off, or who's picking them up? Who's watching them when they get home? Is there somebody watching them when they get home?
00:20:42
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Guess what? They're getting evicted from their house. They don't have any food to eat. We don't know what they're watching on their phones or on their television. We don't know which men or which women are coming into the household at any given time.
00:20:58
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It's chaos. It's the out absolute opposite of security and stability. Yet, I laugh at this because then we somehow expect them to come to school and learn.
00:21:13
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And they're hungry and they are getting evicted or their parents are beating them, or their dad's in jail, and we're like, come on and let's all learn some math.
00:21:25
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How is that? It's a breakdown of the family unit, and it starts with the father, because the fathers aren't present. When the fathers are present and they are submitted to God, they provide a sense of stability, not only for their kids, but for everybody.
00:21:42
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Second, they provide structure and direction for the family. Deuteronomy 11, 18 to 21. Put that on the screen for me. Fix these words of mine in your hearts.
00:21:53
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He's talking to men. And your minds. Tie them to the symbols of your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you lock walk along the road.
00:22:05
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And when you lie down and when you get up. It's a picture of consistency and constancy. Always, fathers, be teaching these things which I have taught you in the Bible to your children.
00:22:20
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If you do that, it says your days and the days of your children will be long in the land. It's a real promise to the fathers here. Fathers, if you'll fix these words of mine, God's Word, the Bible, if you'll fix them in your hearts and your minds, continually, meaning being in the Word, read it, study it, meditate on it,
00:22:40
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which I know all you dedicated fathers are doing, if you do that, not only will you be transformed, it says your children will be benefited with long life.
Parable of the Prodigal Son and True Masculinity
00:22:54
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I put down legacy as a word. It also came up this week. Which legacy are you leading for your kids?
00:23:03
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Is it ah an eternal legacy? Is it something that they look back and they go, oh Brother John, boy, he was committed to the church. right, let's move on.
00:23:15
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Or is it a legacy of of something eternal? Brother John was at the church, but boy, he poured into his kids. Amen. His kids love the Lord, and their grandkids love the Lord, and so on, and so on It's that ripple effect, fathers.
00:23:30
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ah One little decision to change today, to be involved in your the lives of your kids, to be involved in the Bible, to be submitted under him, will pay generations of blessing upon your kids.
00:23:44
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And I simply put down, it's never too late. If that's you today, if you're thinking, yeah, that all sounds great, but that's not me, Pastor, it's never too late. But you don't understand, my kids are grown. It's never too late.
00:23:59
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If we are made in the image of God, and we are, and if we have a God-given role and responsibility to be present in the lives of our family, which men, you do, How do we go about living life like God lived?
00:24:14
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How do we go about loving our wives and our kids? Well, three quick points and then we'll be out here.
00:24:23
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True masculinity, you'll see, loves by affection. And I thought as I looked through the Bible, which biblical story, which biblical illustration shows this the best?
00:24:40
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The prodigal son. Everybody knows the prodigal son.
00:24:57
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if you have your Bible will open to that verse, you just want to circle compassion. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son and embraced him and kissed him.
00:25:12
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Y'all, if you don't know your Bible and you don't know biblical history, you may just think that that's a great picture of fatherly love right there. Let me tell you why this is so important.
00:25:24
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Jewish men would wear long undergarment, like your underwear, but it would go head to toe. Then they would have an outer garment, head to toe, which meant they never ran anywhere.
00:25:39
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Jewish men never ran anywhere. The house could be on fire and he'd say, everybody get out. Then he'd just start.
00:25:47
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Friends, it says here, seeing his long lost son and having compassion for him, welled up within him that he lifted or girded up his robe and ran to him and embraced him and kissed him.
00:26:05
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It's a picture of affection. True masculinity shows affection.
00:26:13
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True masculinity isn't afraid to show affection to your kids and your wife.
00:26:21
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Second, true masculinity loves by affirmation. The Apostle John tells us in 1 John 3, 1, how very much our Father loves us, for He calls us His children.
00:26:38
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And that is what we are. Friends, we are his children. Kids, you can't fully understand this because you have parents. But if you don't have parents and you were adopted by somebody, adoption means everything.
00:26:54
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My brother adopted some kids. My older sister, by the way, adopted some kids too. I just realized that. I got two siblings that adopted kids. It was a big deal. You sat in front of a judge and these kids were overwhelmed.
00:27:08
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They were crying. Somebody finally loves me enough to want me in their family.
Balancing Love and Discipline
00:27:14
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True masculinity says you're mine.
00:27:22
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So I put today as your grown kids call you today to wish you a happy Father's Day. Instead of saying thanks, How about you just simply say, I'm so proud to be your dad and I'm so proud you're mine.
00:27:37
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Wouldn't that blow their minds? Wait, dad, I'm supposed to be celebrating you today. What if you were to turn that around on them? Yeah, but I affirm you.
00:27:48
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I love you. You're mine. Friends, it's what our Heavenly Father does.
00:27:57
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Or you could respond to a text like I did this morning when my youngest daughter sent me one and she said, Dad, you are great. Just a simple text. And I said, aw, honey.
00:28:09
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Actually, I said, aw, shucks. Great, question mark? No, maybe fabulous and humble.
00:28:20
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And she just put a smiley face.
00:28:24
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She knows she's loved. She knows she's mine.
00:28:32
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True masculinity, third, loves by giving admonition. We don't use this word very often, but admonition means instruction and discipline in the same coin.
00:28:44
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Two sides of the same coin. Discipline and instruction. And I simply put, the Apostle Paul himself tells us in Ephesians 6, 4, Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger.
00:28:57
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by the way you treat them, rather bring them up in the discipline and the instruction, there's admonition together that comes from the Lord. It's the favorite verse on every Father's Day sermon.
00:29:09
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And I know growing up as a kid, as soon as we heard this preached and it said, fathers, don't provoke your kids to anger, we all turned to looked at our dad.
00:29:19
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Understand this is a two-sided coin here, folks. Dads, it's saying it can't always be about discipline. You can't rule with an iron fist all the time.
00:29:33
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You can, but let me tell you what that looks like as your kids get older.
00:29:39
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When they get to their Bible and they read the fear of the Lord, you'll hear a comment like this.
00:29:47
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When I was raised, I feared my dad. Wrong type of fear. That's not what the fear of the Lord means. It's not a cowering out of fear like you're going to get squashed in any moment.
00:30:02
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There's a fine balance in fatherhood. Discipline, yes, sometimes. But instruction, equal instruction.
00:30:11
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Loving fathers know how to do this well. Perhaps I just put your father did it. What a better time than now to change that for your kids.
00:30:23
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Because they're gonna look at you and even though as teenagers they're gonna say, i will never parent like my parent did, guess what? They're gonna end up parenting a lot lot like you did. Unless you were a really horrendous parent, if you were abusive, most kids then would go the other direction and be super loving.
00:30:40
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But if you're right in the middle of the road, your kids are gonna turn out a lot like you. And friends, they're gonna parent a lot like you.
00:30:49
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just wanna end with this. You have a lifetime to be their friend. But that's not what they need right now. Guys, you need to be their father. They secretly desire you to be their father.
00:31:00
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And to love them enough to discipline them and instruct them. Friends, may we be people who lift up, who encourage, who applaud fathers everywhere, who are present in the lives of their families.
00:31:13
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May they love their wives and their children just as God loves them. And all God's people said, Amen.