Transcript
Speaker: No, you're not going outside. Shut the hell up and play my music. Play the music.
Speaker: Yes!
Speaker: What's going on everybody? Happy Saturday. Welcome to a brand new episode of Nonsenseical Nonsense Podcast. We know you guys missed us. We took a little break.
Speaker: Wednesday, Jeff wasn't allowed to do the podcast. Tony was wrapped up in a bunch of silly ass drama with 60 year old women. And I was the only one that was doing anything cool. I was getting attacked. I was trying to do the podcast, but somebody couldn't help me with audio. I literally, let's see, Tuesday morning,
Speaker: at like 10 o 'clock, power went out. Apparently the entire grid of three states of Mexico were out. The entire Southern Peninsula of Mexico was out of power for two days. I have a question about that once I get all the shit out there. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah, let me get this stuff out there. But I have a question about that. You said states in Mexico. But if you guys aren't already, go ahead and check us out on all social media, at Nonsensical Nonsense, on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and the TikkiTok.
Speaker: You guys can join us live every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday night on YouTube and Twitch. And if you don't want to join us live, you don't want to hang out in the chatters box. We see your chatters box. How are you guys doing tonight so far? You guys can always listen to us live anytime you'd like on Spotify. And again, just search up nonsense for nonsense. We're easy to find. Give us a follow. Give us a like.
Speaker: And if you'd be so kind, give us a share. That would be great. I see what we're going to do. If you guys help us and you guys can say that you were on the ground floor and you, you were here from jump street and you know us way back when. Yeah, that's right. We're buying Apple in 88. Yes, exactly. I know for you, we do have a merch store at teespring .com slash nonsense school nonsense podcast. If you're interested in any of that stuff,
Speaker: And we do have a email account at Nonsense School Nonsense Podcast at gmail .com. You guys can send us emails. Yeah, right down there. You guys can send us emails when we bring the starting five back. We're just taking a little bit of break. You guys can get involved that way. If you'd like to share stories, do shout outs. You want to wish your kids happy birthday, happy anniversary to your parents.
Speaker: you know, inform your neighbor that you've been banging his eighteen -year -old daughter. I don't know. Email us and we'll let everybody know. Damn, that came out of that field. Yeah, at least she's eighteen. Well, I don't know if I understood but damn. How's it going, Busted Rubber? I know who Busted Rubber is. That is a friend of mine. Tony or Jeff, you probably know Busted Rubber. You remember Hoss? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's up? Yes. Yeah, it's Hoss. He's
Speaker: I think he was put into a solitary confinement. His wife locked him in a cage out in the backyard for the last year or so. I've been there, brother. I've been there. It's OK. How's it going, Debbie? How's it going, Tim? I think I've seen you in here, too, as well. Golf, what's up, guys? Yeah, so as I said at the beginning, we took a little break Wednesday. It was a little hectic. Jeff had no power. Tony was dealing with some shit. And I was doing part three or part two
Speaker: of which is going to be a three part tattoo. Hey, I've been there. I'm them. Uh, but you're just going to be so fucking excited to be done. Yeah, I was excited. I thought he was good. I thought he was good. I thought he was going to get it done. And then he got started and I was like, yeah, there's no way in hell we're doing this all the night. But, uh, he didn't charge me full price for the session. Uh, only even though we were there for three hours,
Speaker: He still only charged me like half of it, I think. I told him I paid the full price because I mean, he literally worked on it for three hours. The first time he'd only did two hours on the outline. I'm like, dude, I'll pay the full price. I don't care. So while we were there, we went out ahead and scheduled to finish this up. If he has a cancellation or a no call, he's gonna show call me. But I went out ahead and scheduled my next arm.
Speaker: So, it's an addiction. But you know what? You know what? I can't beat his prices. That's the thing. Yeah, for what he's doing, you know, the cheapest I could find for this tattoo to be done was like $1 ,400. This one on my arm. And if you guys haven't seen it, go ahead and go over to our Instagram page. You can go to our TikTok page. I got pictures of it up there. Yeah, it's on Facebook, I believe.
Speaker: garbage and nonsensical nonsense on Instagram and TikTok. And I think it's on Facebook. I think it's on Twitter as well. And you guys can see pictures of it. But the cheapest I could find and I didn't, I wasn't a big fan of the artist was $1 ,300. By the time it's all said and done, I'm going to have $600. Nice. So, you know, this isn't a, you know, and the kids are hell of an artist. So, you know, it's, it's a, it's a nice,
Speaker: It's a nice addiction. It does become a slight addiction. I mean, once you get to a certain point, like, you know, I got mine like a week before you got yours and I'm ready to go with my other one. I'm actually looking at scheduling soon. I got to stack up a little chips. My chip counts a little low right now. Yeah. Once the second one on my other arm is done, then we're going to schedule my forearm.
Speaker: schedule and then after that forums, I'm going to schedule the next one and then I'm going to schedule my chess piece. So, chess piece. Yeah. This is going to get cowboy life on his on his stomach. Well, that's not my chest. That's my life. Sasquatch life. Yeah, there you go. We're not lazy. We got technical difficulties and somebody had a **** life to live trying to design himself to make himself look better.
Speaker: Hey, there's somebody somebody was somebody was doing drama with 60 year old cranky drunk women It's very simple I was go click click delete it
Speaker: I mean, just stop, stop. You're a grown ass adult. Stop it. You're not an ace boy anymore. Stop it. If you don't like somebody, here's a, here's a, here's a brilliant idea. Stop going in their fucking lives. Don't go in their lives. If they say shit about you, guess what? It don't matter. If they say something about you and somebody tells you, well, you tell me what the fuck to do. They wasn't on their laps. That's your problem.
Speaker: No, if somebody says something about you and you're not there, who cares? It's a problem. You know, if I tracked down every person that had something negative to say about me, I would be like Tony. I would be so busy. You'd be traveling all the time. Well, you would be flirting more than I would. I wait. Thank you very much. Now drink your energy drink.
Speaker: fuel for the Glick tank. It's beer. No, but yes, I was out of power. Chris, you said you had a question. I'm curious. I do. I actually put it on Spotify, Golf Hawk. And then we also do. Unfortunately, I don't think you can click the links. No, you can't. But you said you OK, so like, if you go to Europe,
Speaker: And again, I'm not the smartest person in the world, but like you go to Europe and everything's pretty close like Germany. I will pick on Tony all day. We had an argument before the show. I'll pick on him all day. It's fun. Nice. So what was your question? So, so yeah, like, you know, if you go to Europe, you go to Germany and
Speaker: right? I'm just throwing shit out there. Scotland, because I don't know that, but they're all like, it's like going from Ohio to Michigan and stuff like that. They're real close. But they're all different countries. So Mexico is it is they have states like we do here in America? Yes, they do. Okay, they do. There's I want to say 18, maybe 20 something like that. I'm not 100 % sure. But they're they're not small.
Speaker: Like, for instance, where I bought the Malibu. Well, like, Mexico City is huge. Well, yeah, but Mexico City is like five states away. Yeah. It's a two -hour flight. Yeah, but even Cancun is pretty big. Oh, yeah. Well, Cancun is actually only 10 miles around. Oh, is it really? It looks big on the map. Yeah, it looks big on the map, but it's really compressed. Nobody worried. Damn!
Speaker: But what happened is the power. These hands are not discriminatory. It's 2022. Equal opportunity. Everybody wants equal rights. You can get equal rights. Exactly. My wife's got wigs upstairs. I'll throw on a wig. I'll be a woman for 20 minutes. Let's do this shit. I don't think you can get a woman. You want equality? You get equal rights? Hands left. All day. You want a combo? I can give you a three piece.
Speaker: of like power plants. They got these giant generators, the size of like five houses. They replaced one and it took them two days. And what they did was they shut down the grid to do it while everybody was at work where 90 % of the people would be at work and then
Speaker: at night, they'd turn it back on, and then first thing in the morning, they'd turn it back off so they could finish working on it. And it took two days. And unfortunately, I had to take time off work and everything. I was working off my phone and sending 45 BMLs from the phone. Fuck, dude. Never again. I'm buying me a fucking tablet.
Speaker: I actually was able to, I figured out how to tether, turn my phone into a hotspot. So I was able to connect the computer to the hotspot of my phone. But the problem with that was, that's the problem.
Speaker: That's why, that's why I told you. My battery eventually died. That's what I told you. I charged it. Calling a cab or how did you charge it? Oh, okay. When they, when they cut the power back off. Yeah. When they turned it back on at night. I would have been calling a cab and taking my ass to home to pot and getting me a fucking generator or getting on Amazon. The problem is, the problem is I wasn't the only asshole going to go get it. That's why I say get on Amazon. Oh, because you just ran out.
Speaker: same day delivery. Oh, what happened? There's there's no same day delivery in Mexico for how fast can you get something down there from Amazon three days for the time being because you know, they're going to put it on Amazon. They're going to put an Amazon warehouse down there. Oh, yeah. I put them everywhere. They will. There's like fucking six of them in Patasko area. Right. It's stupid. And they're huge. Three days like like if I order something today, it'll be here Tuesday.
Speaker: Yeah. Now I'm just recently, I have always known of Amazon. I just never really bought stuff on there until recently, you know, now that I got extra money and I'm just buying dumb shit or, you know, if I need something, I'm getting it. You know what I mean? So like we got the new phones while we needed new cases. So I did next day delivery on the cases. And then - How much extra did you lost you for the next day delivery? Nothing. It's for my, it's in my prime account. Oh, okay. I was saying that. But I thought our cases came with screen protectors and they didn't.
Speaker: So I ordered, yeah. So while I ordered two of them, I ordered one for Austin's phone. I ordered one for my phone, the little packs. I did same day delivery. It was $3 extra for same day delivery. And I ordered them at like 10 o 'clock in the morning and they were at my house when I got off work.
Speaker: Oh, no, we, uh, uh, when I, when I buy the phones, I buy the phone, when I buy a phone and stuff, I do it at the mall and literally they, they will literally offer you before you walk out. The first thing they say is, oh, do you want a screen protector too? It's an extra dollar. And then they install it as well. So it's one less thing. Yeah, I, I, I thought the cases came was cause I, I don't, my, my case that I got was not,
Speaker: what I thought it was when you looked at it. It literally it's one of those ones that you just slide over the phone. Yeah, I don't like so I'm going to go next weekend.
Speaker: Well next week I should say not next weekend because we're gonna be back down here next weekend for 4th of July But next week before we come down. I'm just gonna go to Best Buy or Walmart and get me an Otterbox Well see like my phone I bought I buy it's a new brand of Android it's not available in the States
Speaker: Do you still have the Hawaii or Hawaii? No, I actually got rid of Hawaii. Hawaii. Hawaii. Hawaii. Where's your heart? I had to think for like four years and I could never pronounce it. I'm like, this one. Do we smell toast? This one is actually called. We all three had a stroke at the same time. We have our strokes and sinks. Like women's will get in sync with their periods. We have our strokes in the sink.
Speaker: Sashimi. Sashimi. But it's a Note 10. It's actually a really nice phone. But finding a case for this fucker? Fuck, man. It's a pain in the ass. I'll be right back. Two seconds. A Note 10? This should be easy to find cases. No, but the brand is... I gotta look it up. It's... Jody and I went to the casino last night.
Speaker: How much does that cost? No, no, no, I, we, you know, I, that's the thing. It's spelled M I U I. Oh no, wait, that's the, that's the, no, it's, that's the, the, the update. That's the name of the update. It's a red me.
Speaker: Just look on the market. God damn phone. It should be on the phone. It's red man. Fucking cases. It's a red note 10 pro red man. And it's got a 60, 128 gig storage. You got an Obama phone from red man. Do check that out. Like my, like if you turn, that's my storage floats like water. I like that. Two seconds.
Speaker: This dude just hit me up on Instagram. Right now as we speak, he's an artist. He's an artist and he does like, he takes pictures and turn them into cartoon. And he sent me the picture for when I, when I first got the, when I just had the outline down on my tattoo at work when I was, when I had a real good shot of it. He was like, hello, I'm sorry for slugging into your DMs. I went through your page and I saw this attractive picture.
Speaker: And I was thinking if you would love to get it done on a cartoon portrait at an affordable price, 100%, are you interested?
Speaker: I found a tiktok page that I think that both of you would like Jesus Christ
Speaker: but it's it's classic movie lines put to everyday cartoons and it's like a drawing and it's like oh i think i've seen some videos say hello my little friend but he opens up like a little thing and it's a cake or something like that and it's their little cartoon they're fucking hilarious holy shit yeah no last night uh yeah last night jody and i went to the casino now i've never i i've been to a casino but i've never really got the game like i never
Speaker: What's your game? What's it? When you go to the scene, what's your game? What do you play? I don't... It's the first time I ever went to a goddamn casino and gambled. What'd you play, motherfucker? We were doing slots. That's all they have in there. Oh, my God. Oh, no. I don't... I'm not playing cards. I'm not playing poker. No, I don't play cards. I go to the craps. I'm not playing roulette. I'm not playing craps. I don't know how to play anyway.
Speaker: Well, I know how to play poster and I know how to play - Crafts is actually really easy to learn. Crafts is a little easy to learn. And I literally saw a guy come in when my wife and I used to, we actually made - Can't play cards here, Crafts and stuff. The house always wins. For what? I don't know. My wife lived off of - The house always wins. The house always wins. No, you don't because you bet on the roller. If you bet correctly, you can lose. The house always wins.
Speaker: I don't even know. Is craps where they drop the ball on the thing? No, that's the dice. That's the dice. Yeah, craps? You can actually - I don't know. I've never been to a casino. You can shake your head all you want, Tony. I've literally been to a casino twice in my life. Once was a hard rock, and I went there to eat. And when I tried to gamble -
Speaker: Yeah. When I went to go gamble in the slot machines, my ex wife chewed my ass out. So I was like, Oh, but this one is just slot machines. So we went down there last night. Jody did pretty well. Yeah. I don't like slot machines. I don't trust her. Uh, she, she, uh, she damn near broke even, but she was, she, she was, she was doing pretty well, but she just kept playing, you know, I
Speaker: Uh, yeah, I like any, you know, most of them were usually like, uh, anywhere from 50 cents to 88 cents, but you could go up higher than that. Oh, that's just what we were doing. We were just doing the low end. I was doing all right until one of the machines was like, uh, and there's like a little jackpot thing on the screen. And every time you hit a certain symbol, it goes into that jackpot. Okay. Yeah. And once it.
Speaker: And once it's over, it fills up and then it opens up a mini game or whatever. Right. And I was getting ready to walk away at Jody's like, no, no, no. I think it's gonna, it's gonna just drain. Just almost $80 in that goddamn machine. You spend the next 45 minutes looking at her going. Yeah. And then she turns around, she turns around and she turns around and puts $5 in it.
Speaker: But still, I was like, seriously? We go we play craps when we go to the casino here. And the one day we went, we bet on the person rolling. So we don't bet on we bet on like what the dice is going to be or we bet on the. I'm going to leave my old home. Burn that bitch to the ground.
Speaker: But we, the one day, some guy came in and we started betting on him. We walked in, put $20 on the crab table, walked out with $250. But that guy walked in, put $1 ,000 down, US, and walked out with $7 ,000 in 45 fucking minutes. We both had a limit of $800, sorry, $100.
Speaker: Like I said, Jody, Jody. I like it. I like it. Nice. I like chat room, Tim. Tim, let me tell you something. Hell no, we ain't having this. Like I said, Jody damn near broke even. I lost 80 bucks.
Speaker: Well, we always, when we go. But I was doing good up until. No, but I didn't matter. I didn't know what I was doing, so. We give a little. Yeah, we just have a hundred dollars. We each had a hundred dollars, so. Well, we play a game. They have a game they're called, it's called Yak, Y -A -K. And it kind of works like bingo, but you got to fill your whole card. And it's like 10 cents a game.
Speaker: or no, it's 50 cents a game and they give you a little card and it's got 15 numbers on it and they just start rattling off numbers and you mark it off. Whoever gets the first line across of five, you know, you got three lines, five numbers, bees, whoever gets first line. But if you win one pot, you've covered your entire fucking night.
Speaker: Yeah. Even though I lost 80 bucks, it was fun. It was a fun date night for the two of us. And I want to do it again. I want to go back again. And we both have our limit. And play a little bit. I had a few beers when I was there. There was a band there that was really good. They were playing like a jazz soul.
Speaker: R &B blues kind of mixture, but they were they did a lot of covers of songs, but they made it their own and I was really I was fighting the urge not to dance. I'm not even gonna lie. I wanted it. I was like but but play in the slots. I just went.
Speaker: Let's go dance. Well, I don't know if you guys saw, I posted that picture of me and the family. We went to the Dairy Queen last night. And they got music playing in the Dairy Queen. Your family should really put you up for adoption. Probably. You're really breaking them down. Wow. Oh, my god, dude. What the fuck? But my wife and I are sitting there. Your wife, you got a couple good looking kids, and then there's you.
Speaker: They're like, wow, they should sell you from the circus. My wife was looking at old pictures of me and - Or your wife should just start collecting taxes on a daily basis. I started playing the tax game with my kids, by the way.
Speaker: That was a joke. You're not supposed to. Oh, no, I didn't do it. I'm like, we went to before we went to the thing and I was like, I'm like, I'm grabbing fries and they're like, what the hell? And I'm like, I'm like, you're talking about teaching them taxes like I do to my kids. Tax season. That's when they misbehave. Yeah.
Speaker: But no, we were sitting in that Dairy Queen, and they got music playing. And I started dancing to a song my daughters kind of gave me a look like, really? I'm like, you're six, chill out. Who are you going to know here is going to be embarrassed? Shut up your face, little girl. So my wife and I started dancing in the booth. It's just too embarrassed to shit out of kids. You're like, fuck this. That's my best friend.
Speaker: I'm sorry. We're just watching Ricky Bobby's on. I was watching that before the show. I was like, I got that movie. Everybody a little bit. I love that. He's like, I will go back to France and never race in NASCAR if you kiss me on my lips. Hey, go. I haven't Frenchy. He's like, yes. Yo. Yes, sir. It's at the end now. It's at the end now.
Speaker: that's where Cal Norton comes and saves Ricky Bobby. He's like, Ricky Bobby's my best friend. Hey, take it. That's that movie is so silly dumb. It's it's I don't know if you've seen that the Sherlock Holmes spin movie they did, those two did. Yeah, I I kind of like that. I'm not the biggest fan. I'm not the biggest fan of Will Ferrell but two of my favorite Will Ferrell
Speaker: you know, Talladega Nights and the Step Brothers. Him and him and him and uh this is John C. Riley. Yeah. They do these when they they are a trick together. They kill
Speaker: Yeah, they are kind of the perfect duo for like, they're kind of like the really, really white version of The Rock and what's his name? I think they're better than The Rock and Kevin Hart. I'd say Ignite at the Roxbury. That was funny as hell. That was funny as hell. That was a funny ass, that was a funny ass skit on SNL that turned into... The movie was absolute fools. I really believe it.
Speaker: We did watch we watched the other day Liar Liar
Speaker: The pin is really
Speaker: Best way to go gets his car out from the tow yard. He's like, he's like, you stretch my car. He's like, where? He's like, right here. He's like, you know what I'm going to do? He's like, what? He's like, I'm going to piss and moan. Because even if I take you to the store, you're not going to show up. The guy's like, you've been here before. You know why I pulled you over?
Speaker: I wouldn't end up in jail. I would totally rock that. I'd be like, you know what? Well, it depends on how long you've been following me. All right. I'm going to go to Cincinnati and have Jody walk me over just so I could do that. I just shared this broadcast all over the damn world. Get to work.
Speaker: Tony, you and I should go to Cincinnati. Find out which area Jodi's driving her on it so she pulls us over. She doesn't drive around anymore. So we'll call her boss and get her to do it so we can TikTok the whole thing. It'd be amazing. I hope she shoots both of you. Why do you want me to get pulled over by the cops on TikTok? Fuck you. It's Jodi. I hope she shoots both of you. Let's begin. I will videotape it while you get shot. I hope she doesn't. I don't want her to kill you guys. I just want her to shoot you. Like, shoot your ears off.
Speaker: fun and just for the legs. She makes a joke out of let me know when you would let me know. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it right along that day and I'm going to get out of the car and it'll be like there's a new sheriff in town. Chris is going to come up to the window of the car like that kid in that movie with Burt Reynolds and that kid
Speaker: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Speaker: You have to watch the coma fd because it's everybody except for it's actually on my list. I added it. I've seen it on HBO Max.
Speaker: I haven't seen super troopers too, but I want to see it. The chick that plays Farba's daughter, the guy, whoever is Farba. When she gets, she gets throat to the throat, and her throat droops deep. And she talks like this. And they're like, where's the beef? And she's like, where's the beef? Where's the beef?
Speaker: Tim, I think I think we'd have to do bromances part two before we could do part three. Yeah. I got in trouble again today, by the way, boys. What? What do you think?
Speaker: I cut the grass, front and backyard today. Good job. Did you wear your shorty short shorts and your... No, I forgot to bring them. I forgot to bring them. She texted me. I was like halfway done and she was like, stop cutting my grass. I was like... I'm not cutting your grass. I'm playing with your toys. I kept walking past the cameras and I'd go... You fucking strut. All right, blow our kisses into the camera.
Speaker: Not only did I cut the grass, I cut the front and back yard. I did it all on basically one battery. I fixed her fence. I got yelled at for that. The jackass who installed it, installed the handle too low so it wasn't latching. So I just raised it and... Well, once again, you need to remind Jody of one simple thing. You're not fixing stuff. You're getting to play with tools. That's what I tell my wife. I said, you know what I want to build? I want to build in my front yard. I want to build a miniature vehicle.
Speaker: but I did. She went out and she went out and bought one of those arcade games, those one up arcade games or whatever. She got a Pac -Man one that I'm going to smoke her ass and we got to bet that who's going to have the highest score. I can't stand that. See if you got paper boy on it. No, it doesn't have paper boy on it. This has got, this has got a, it's got like four or five Pac -Man games on it. It's got Galaga, Digdung one and two. And there's a couple other ones.
Speaker: But I built that for her today. Got that all put together and installed. I got her sound bar hooked up and working for her. She said, you're not going to be allowed to come down here anymore when I'm not home. And I'm like, why? She's like, you work so long. She's messing up her arrangement. She's like, you work all week long. You don't have to come down here and work at my house. I was like, I know, but I want to.
Speaker: It doesn't bother me. There's a difference. There's a difference of stuff you have to do at work and the stuff you do there. The stuff you're doing there is more of a, I'm doing it for fun. Well, not only that, but, but she works. Well, but she works so many more hours than I do. And then she comes home and she has to do the yard work and everything else. And like I told her.
Speaker: I was like, if I can come down here for a weekend and you're at work, what am I going to do? Set up my fat ass and not do anything? No, I can do stuff around the house. And that's stuff that you don't have to worry about. And you can come home and relax after work. But I told her today. I told her today. I said, I said. Hillbilly over here. Well, yeah. It's just like this hillbilly that likes to play with tools. Well, it's not only that, but I also have a weird OCD cork like her fence. If I see something that's broken, I
Speaker: I may or may not have a small project I'm going to do tomorrow. You may or may not. I may or may not have a small project I'm going to do tomorrow. It'll take you like 10 seconds. Shut up and stop writing me out, Tony. Next time you do something, you don't want to do something. Broke. It was breached. There you go. But no. I'm going to send emails to Jody. Check your camera. Check your camera. Check your fucking camera.
Speaker: Um, he's doing it again. No, no tomorrow. I'm not going to do anything. I'm going to, I'm going to hang out. I'm just going to hang out and wait for it to get off with a taser. What? No, she actually ran over to her mom's real quick. I had to look at her. She is a little ninja man. Did you see her outside of the casino? She kept disappearing. I was, I was like,
Speaker: I would walk away. I would turn away for a second. She'd be gone. I'm like I told her I said you were like a little ninja. I swear to god. She is like the world's smallest ninja. Have you seen that ad? I've seen the ad on TikTok for that t -shirt. Well, I don't have to worry about that because I don't do **** I'm not supposed to be doing. Yes, you do. She keeps telling you to stop fixing **** You keep **** fixing **** Oh yeah, I'm going to continue to do that. I like I told her today like I told her today and my and my point was proven when we were at her neighbor's house. I said, do you know how many women would kill
Speaker: to have a husband or a boyfriend that would do things around the house without questions. Without being asked? Yeah. I was like, I know this for a fact because I had women, uh, husbands and wife couples that I used to take care of at Orkin and I would tell them how to do something and I would wind up at their house on Saturday doing handyman work because the husband A didn't know how to do it or just wouldn't do it. Yeah. And then her, she was, she was telling her neighbor about all the shit I was doing today. And,
Speaker: Her neighbor was like, can you start hanging out with my husband?
Speaker: I'm like, see, see, you're **** **** up. That's what I'm trying to say. I was like, that husband's going to be like, I'm going to punch this **** in the face. Well, not to mention the fact that their gate, their gate's all wonky at the neighbor's house and I was like, I went out there. I went through it twice and I was and I told Jody, I was like, I'm fighting the urge not to go over here and fix their gate. Oh my goodness. It's a weird OCD
Speaker: If something's broken, I have to fix it. No, you don't. Yes, I do. I'm going to give you an example. Go ahead, Jeff. I'm going to give you an example. I just heard the garage door. I think I'm in trouble. I heard her drifting into the driveway. Let me tell you what you're doing. I know exactly how to stop this right there. You know how you do something you ain't supposed to be doing. You don't have to do. You just feel like doing it. That's what you say I do when I'm sitting back watching everybody fussing online.
Speaker: I don't have to do it. I'm being productive. I am. I am too. You're just driving the drama bus. I'm saving the lives. Remember the bullshit. If the half drama that is carried over to Twitter spaces
Speaker: and air time and all the other all the other formats you guys are on now was a bonfire. Basically, you're the guy at one o 'clock in the morning that shows up with a $5 a gas leak and you're like, well, I have to admit I have the same issue you do.
Speaker: The we have six street lights and they're replacing them and and the head of maintenance is replacing them and he rented all this scaffolding.
Speaker: And he left it. He left it. I would have already fixed it. He was waiting for something like he was getting the other one ready. And I was like, I'm going to climb that fucking scaffolding. My wife's like, what are you doing? I was like, I can do it. Yeah, I would have been a struggle for me. Chris, when you build scaffolding, you put all the ladder side on the same side, correct?
Speaker: Yeah, he didn't do that. This motherfucker had a fucking caddy corner. Like one side had a ladder here and then it was like and I was like, I would have taken it apart. I would have taken it apart and put it together, right? Get it on my balcony. Get it on my balcony and watch it and build this going. So, so he had to go up. He would go up one room and then go across. Like fucking Donkey Kong shit. And I was like, hey, Donkey Kong. Put it better. Put it together better.
Speaker: It's just a weird OCD court and like I told her, you know, I said
Speaker: I enjoy doing this. It's, it's, it does not bother me at all. I, you know, it's not like it's an inconvenience or anything like that. What, I mean, you're at work and I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm at home. You come home and all this broken and I'm sitting my fat ass on the couch. Yeah. Yeah. That's not cool. I understand. I understand where she's coming from.
Speaker: because, you know, she has been single for a while and she's used to doing everything on her own. And that's why I tried telling her, I was like, you don't have to do anything on your own anymore. And I said, the difference between - So most of these, remember, she's dating a redneck. I can't remember what she called me when she got home because I'm out in the yard. I got my cowboy hat on. I just finished fixing the fence and she was like, what are you doing? I was like, I fixed the fence and I got my drill and I'm like,
Speaker: Yeah, I'm feeling good. I got a little swagger in my step, you know. She was like, what did she call me? She called me like hillbilly Fred or something like that. She was like, what are you doing hillbilly Fred? I'm fixing stuff. That's the difference between his friends. Yeah, that's the difference between me and the difference between
Speaker: uh, me and, and other, you know, the ex or anything like that. I know how to do this stuff. I enjoy doing this stuff. I do too. So, you know, I understand that you're used to doing everything on your own and you're used to having to figure it out, but I said, you don't have to anymore. I got you. And there are some projects that we're going to do some stuff in the backyard that I look forward to doing together. That's that quality time that I tell you guys about, you know, we're, we're building, we're going to build this, uh,
Speaker: like a patio area with a big covering and stuff like that. And then. Not quite a gazebo, it's called anything. Well, yes, it's a gazebo kind of deal. But gazebo's around. Yeah, this is good. But this is where it's called something else's. But you know, we're going to I'm going to level everything out. We're going to instead of pouring concrete, we're going to we're going to get those. Baby, if you're listening,
Speaker: patio papers. That was what we were thinking of. And we're going to use those. I want to build like a little deck, but instead of doing concrete, have you seen the expand, like instead of doing concrete in the hole with the, with your four by four, using the expanding foam. I'm kind of like, I want to play with that. But, um,
Speaker: And she's got like a retaining wall where we're going to put it at. And it's really cool. And I told her, I was like, we can sexy that up. And she's like, what do you mean? I said, we can paint it. We can, they got, you can get Ivy for it. Um, they've got, they've got like, uh, specialty design, like, like they're kind of like drop cloths, but they're designed for that. And then there's like, it steps down on the backside of it. I said, we'll get you some flowers in there.
Speaker: And she's like, nah, she doesn't have time to take care of a flower. But I said, no. I said, we're going to get you some low maintenance ass flowers, some pre -innacles. The pre -innacles will come back every year. You don't have to do anything other than get the weeds out of there. I said, we're going to get some nice mulch. And she's already got a fire pit out back, which is, I like it. Now you talk. Now you talk. Now you talk. Now here's the thing.
Speaker: I was telling you guys about that, that show that I just watched with the fam. We watched that snowflake mountain and my kids were like, I want to go fucking camp. And I'm like, well, there's no real campground out here. So what I'm going to do, I can't really build a fire pit, but I'm going to buy it. It's always, you go camping in the woods in Mexico. It'll be fine. I'm going to get a tent and stay on the front. Just famous last words on the show. We're going camping in the woods next weekend.
Speaker: We never hear from Jeffers family again. No, no, but like they got tents and shit at Walmart and like the tents were like 15 bucks. Well, I mean, growing up, we used to go camp on our property, but we also had a hundred acres in the middle of nowhere. I'm going to get a little grill and cut the legs off. So it's really close to the ground. So they make, they make, they have little small fire pit. No, Jody, I'll send you guys a picture of her fire area out there.
Speaker: the previous owners of this house, they did a really nice job with it but I told her, I said, again, I again, we can sexy that up. We can get some like lava rocks or whatever put around. We can do the outside of it. Rip all that because I got they played in a ton of **** flowers and dumb **** around it and she don't like them. She wants them all ripped out. So, we rip all that **** out, replace it with stones. Man. Yeah, we replace it with these real nice looking stones. Uh I said, yeah, we're
Speaker: She wants to dress up her backyard. I said, yeah, don't worry. We can definitely rock that out. She's like, you can do that? Do what something she wants to do and you can spend as much time as you want to do it. Now you're talking. Yeah. She's like, you can do all that. I'm like, yeah, I can do it. My eyes closed. Now you're talking.
Speaker: I'm like, yes, I can. And I told her that there is something to say about doing shit in the backyard. It's like, it's, well, well, well, like that, that, um, the patio thing she wants to build. Uh, you know, I told her, cause she wants to put a grill on her. I was like, you know, we can, uh, we can get a hang and swing and I can, I can hang it swing. And she was like, really? I'm like, yeah. She was like, you think it'll support it?
Speaker: I got 15 clients for you, brother. Yeah. That, that, uh, what the hell is that? It's going to drive me crazy. It's like an awning cover, but it's all made out of wood and stuff. I know what it's called. Give me a second. Um, but the, the, the kit, because you just buy the kit and then you build it. So it's all cut. It's all pre -drilled. It's all, you know, you just put it together. Um, but the one that her neighbors has that she wants to do like theirs, it's got four by, um, or two by four.
Speaker: two by six wood up on the, that goes around the top frame and it's doubled up. So you're basically in a four by 12 frame. And I was like, Oh yeah, we can put a swing and it'll definitely hold. And that is not a problem at all. So, but those are, those are like the little things that I, I, I look forward to doing with her because it's, you know, it's, it's, that's in my opinion, that's quality time. That's, that's, you know,
Speaker: you know, those are those Brad Paisley's got a song. He's a country singer Tony, but you should check it out. Yes. He's got a little voice is the name of the song. Yeah, kind of like a pavilion. Yeah, like kind of like pavilion makes sense. Yeah, exactly like that. Yeah, I would have thought we would have done something different, but that's cool. I would have thought something different. But no, it has. But the only difference is that it has an actual roof on it. Pagoda.
Speaker: Yeah, but it has an actual roof on it. Yeah. Yeah. It's got an actual roof and everything on it. Um, well, actually you want to do something like this, Chris, that awning that's underneath the wood is retractable. Oh yeah. No, no, we don't need rain. No, this has got like an actual roof on it and everything like that. Uh, yeah, that's pretty cool.
Speaker: Yeah, whatever she decides. Like I said, there are kids at the end of the day that you buy the kids and then you just throw it together. But yeah, no, that's one of those moments that, you know, you're not doing anything. You're not spending a fuck ton of money. You're not, you know, it may not. Well, I mean, you are spending a fuck ton of money, but, you know, it might not mean it like it might not to some people. It might not be that big of a deal. But to me and
Speaker: Maybe her. That means, you know, I'm assuming her as well. That means the world to me. Oh, no. You know what? I've been looking at pagodas for... Let's see. Like, I don't want to buy a kit. I want to build it 100 % one -off. And I just sent you that picture. Okay. That way you can show Jody and kind of give her some ideas. But I want to do like a slightly raised deck.
Speaker: underneath of it so that I don't have to worry about leveling anything down and I want to just put you know just a big rectangle six uh maybe a total of a foot high so and then basically take up my entire side yard that sits next to the eclipse all right I did the one episode outside underneath my awning that broke uh
Speaker: But something that's just, I can just, I can do the show out there. I can, you know, if I, if I get bored, I can work out there and all that shit. Message for you at the bottom. He didn't want to disturb the show, but that's a hell of an aspect. What'd he say? Oh yeah, Tim. You let me forget about that.
Speaker: Go to our Twitter page, Jeff, and you can DM Tim. OK, yeah. Oh, no, this chair's super comfy. Or just do it now. It's super comfy. Oh, no, I literally, I'll send you a link, Tim. Yeah, but, um. You're on my Snapchat, aren't you, Tim? I think you are. But, yeah, no, I mean. Oh, I got it, I got it. Jeff, I know you probably don't. Tony, maybe you.
Speaker: Talk to me. Have you ever heard of crumble cookies? Yes. I think so. Yes. Oh, wow. We'll just do it. No, no, no, no. This is a cookie shop. This is not something you make. Oh, it's an actual location. Yeah, it's a shop. OK. Never heard of it. When we come back from break. Yes. I got to show you this cookie. I've never had them. I never heard of them until Jody brought them up. And I thought it was a Cincinnati thing. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, right Tim. But as soon as Jodi brought him up, like they were talking about him on the Mike Calto show. I've seen people on Instagram and Facebook from everywhere talking about how amazing these cookies are. So today we were out and about. We had to go to Walmart and get a couple things and then I was trying to find a cologne because I haven't worn cologne in years, but
Speaker: Jody, like Jody, much like me, has a thing about smells and scents. So I was trying to find a cologne that she liked and that was strong because I bought one and apparently it's not strong enough, which is fine. But we've actually we actually found one that we both really liked, but it was like $140 a bottle of both of them. She was like, yeah, no, not going to happen today. I actually went to Bath and Body Works and found two of them, men's cologne that we both really liked and it was like 40 bucks for a bottle.
Speaker: I was walking through Walmart the other day and I bought a thing of Brute because I like I like the smell of Brute. My wife. Are you 80 years old? You Brute's awesome, dude. This **** awesome. Yeah. If you're an 80 and you're a grandpa, my grandpa wore Brute and Old Spice. Both of my grandpa's wore Brute and Old Spice. I would
Speaker: When I used to wear, when I used to wear cologne, I wore a clay -borne sport. They don't make it anymore. You can only find it on Amazon. And I love clay -borne sport. You can only find it on Amazon now. But, so we actually found too that we really, both of us really liked it. Bath and body works.
Speaker: $140 a bottle as opposed and it's a bigger bottle than the one that was and it was a and it was a bigger bottle than the one that they wanted $140 for last thing. But there's a crumble cookie right next door kind of next door to Bath and Body Works. Man. Jody told me about these cookies and how good they were.
Speaker: Yeah. Right. And I think I'm honestly and they make specially cookies. So, we got like this butter cookie and ice cream. So, it was a cookie and then it had like ice cream like uh like an ice cream icing on top of it and they don't I mean it was it was about a half inch three quarters of an inch thick icing. So, and the cookie is like the cookie is massive. It's a big **** my god. It was so good. I got a I also got a um
Speaker: Jody and I both got those and then she got a honey bun cookie, which looks like the honey buns that you buy in the packages or whatever. The book said you got a honey bun. He just told the whole world. And then I got a cheesecake, a blueberry cheesecake cookie. And I told her tomorrow I would split with her because we both both of us love cheesecake. And I was like, I'm going to try this.
Speaker: Man, she was not lying about them goddamn cookies. My god, they're so good. And the sounds that she makes when she eats them, I gotta figure out how to make her do that. I was getting turned to hell. I'm like, hell, how do I do that? Do I feed these cookies? But. Tom, I added you on Snap. You gotta add me back so I can send you this.
Speaker: But. Yeah, so yeah, we just got out about today when she got she got off work way earlier than then she thought she was going to. So we kind of went out and about and running around and whatnot. Again, the little things or what matter more than anything, right? Agreed. So but she was so excited to have her sound bar hooked up and and her new arcade game, because I had to build that motherfucker man. I thought I was going to open it up out of the box and it was like
Speaker: you know, you had to **** legitimately build that **** and hook, hook, hook the the the the controller board up and the lights and and I'm like, god damn, I need an engineering degree to build this **** thing. Right. Right. Right. Right. But it was worth it. I sent her a picture of it. She was so excited when she came down and that when she got to hear her
Speaker: made it all worth it. Even though she was giving me shit about doing stuff, it absolutely made it worth it. I sent you that Christmas so I could copy the link. I was like, what the fuck did you send me there? There you go, brother.
Speaker: That's the one I got. That's the exact one I got. That way you can kind of look at it. They're pretty cheap and super comfy once you get used to it. But it literally climbs like that. That's not a very good review. It's super comfy once you get used to it. It takes a minute because you're used to sitting in a normal chair. It comes with a foot rest too.
Speaker: It takes a minute to get used to it. But that's the same thing for this chair. When you talk about putting that arcade thing together, putting this chair together is the first time in a long time I ever had to actually read instructions. Normally you could see something and go, I don't need the instructions for this. This chair, I needed instructions. Oh yeah, I definitely was reading instructions on that arcade game.
Speaker: I've seen those. I think I've seen those. Yeah. Best Buy has them. Walmart has them. They're they're not they're like half the size of a real arcade game but they you know, it's it's so cool. I mean, they are really cool. I wanted to I was going to buy one. The only downside was is I just don't have the room in my apartment. Now, Jody wants to go buy another one. She's like, I'm going to get on Best Buy's website and see what other ones they have.
Speaker: Cause I'm going to get another one. I was like, Tim, that's pesos. Calm down. I said dollar signs backwards. I said, I said, go ahead because she's got room down in her basement. She could put, she would have to get a, she would have to get a surge, a surge protector thing, but she could probably put three, maybe four down there in the area where she has the one.
Speaker: Well, she wants another one that has a bunch of what you do is you you you can buy the internal parts for the old ones or you can buy something similar and yeah, well, here's the thing Jeffrey cabinet. Well, here's your here's your thing. I don't know if you've ever moved one of the original arcade. Oh, no, they're they're **** stupid heavy. Yeah, I know. And I know you don't know who he is. Tony, you might know who he is. Former Major League Baseball player. I know the name. I've heard the name yet.
Speaker: he had a house in Ohio and in Virginia when I worked with him and we used to move him back and forth from from his houses. Both houses he had in his basement a full on **** arcade. Nice. Full size. I mean, even the even the racing games that had like the the steering wheel and that. Yeah, I want one of those. And when he would get new ones, guess who he would hire to come and bring them in. Now, granted, granted, he made it very easy. You come around the house, had a big
Speaker: then you could just you just wheel that bad boy right around the house right into the basement. But still they were stupid fucking heavy. No, not not my idea of fun.
Speaker: But these one up arcade things, you look them up on Walmart and Best Buy, they're really cool. Because like I said, they're half the size, they're super light. But you still get all the old school arcade games. Like they got the Ninja Turtles and the Simpsons one. They got a golden tee. Yeah, they've got a golden tee one that has eight or nine different golden tee. They got the hunting ones.
Speaker: that that'll have like semi to the uh arcade up or something like that. Go to Walmart .com or like uh Best Buy and just put in arcade game. Oh, no, I see it. So, you can buy any of them or one more to this one. Yeah. Yeah, kind of like that. Yeah, that's not bad. Actually, I'm
Speaker: not the clearest picture in the world. This is before I put the pedestal on it. But yeah, I know. I'll just send it to our group. No, I got it. I'm looking stuff up now. I'm gonna see if they got a **** paper boy. I haven't seen one. I want that. My buddy Dom has one. I want that.
Speaker: We're going to take a real quick break. I got a piss like a motherfucker. And I need more beer. Oh, is this it, Chris? Is that it? Yep. That's exactly it. And that's without the base and the pedestal and everything on it. Those are like countertop games. Kevin Hawley's got a couple of those. That's cool. The countertops. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But it's the same concept, but they're taller. And they also come with a pedestal, so they set it. Yeah. Hey, Jeff. Yeah. If you bought a big version of Paperboy, the stand -up one is $6 ,000.
Speaker: That's the actual arcade game. Yeah. That's not that arcade. But. I want one of these with Pac -Man on it. I almost bought, I actually, I almost bought that exact one. Renaissance Center had it and they wanted to get rid of it and they wanted, they wanted a hundred bucks for it. Which one? Let me see it. That one that he just showed. It was like Street Fighter and all that. You see a pizza hut? Yeah.
Speaker: And beautiful. You know what the problem with it is? You guys don't know the horizontal surface issue. Any horizontal surface that you have in your house will eventually have stuff on it. Yeah, horizontal. So any tape, stuff will end up on it. That's the problem I have at my house. Exactly. There's a horizontal surface. Shit gets thrown. Come on, baby. Bye.
Speaker: Let's go ahead and take a real quick break, guys. We got a little black top mojo for everybody's ear hole. Like I said, I got pissed like some bitch and I'm gonna get some more beers. Got a little black top mojo for you. Guys, if you haven't already, go check them out on all social media and wherever you stream music at black top mojo. I promise you won't be disappointed. These guys are amazing. I see that. You can download. Yeah. And then you can just build a box for it. Yep.
Speaker: Like I said, check them out wherever you stream music and on all social media at Black Top Mojo. Go give them some love. Let them know that we sent you from nonsensical nonsense. And we will be back soon as I figure out how to push buttons. We'll be back in just a few minutes.
Speaker: What did you bring back for me? A vicious preoccupation With a darkness underneath There's something empty now In the way that you have Is there something you're hiding?
Speaker: Oh darling, I'm afraid of this Are you waking cause you're wearing the dead of the night? Why are you staring at the ceiling to the morning light? Is your heart bounding with a secret then you came?
Speaker: I've been sitting here waiting Still out the window in the street Watch strangers come round the corner Hoping it was you I see I pretend not to notice The distance in the night
Speaker: When you pull me closer
Speaker: Yeah, just wait on Chris and Tony to come back. He's all loving on Jody. That's the problem. Welcome back to the nonsense. Chris is obviously frying chicken. Yeah, go ahead. How hard is it to just go?
Speaker: That was Blacktop Motion. Welcome back to Not Sensible Nonsense. I hope you guys enjoyed the first hour. Thanks for listening. Thanks for hanging out so far. If you're not already good, check us out on all social media, at Not Sensible Nonsense, on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. You can also join us live every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday night on YouTube and Twitch.
Speaker: And if you don't want to join us live, you don't want to look at our goofy ass faces and you don't want to hang out in the chatters box. Don't worry. We got that covered for you as well. You can listen to all the episodes on Spotify and everywhere you listen to podcasts at don't forget. We also got an email at nonsensical nonsense podcast at gmail .com. You guys can email us there, whatever you'd like about anything and everything. Yeah. We do have a merch store. If you're interested in any of that at nonsensical nonsense,
Speaker: I'm gonna order this one. Jody and I were looking at those
Speaker: Uh, I'm sorry. I was looking at that today because apparently I was by myself. Let's, let's be real. Chris, come here and look at this. No, actually, actually, actually I started playing with it and she was like,
Speaker: DJ seen that too and he wants one and I was like, I'm thinking about buying. I don't even have any racing games, but I was about to get a racing game. I'll tell you what, go get yourself Gran Turismo 7 because the graphics are amazing. That's why I want to get that because I love that fucking game. Yeah, that whole steering wheel and pedals and stuff, but it's $400. Dude, I just found it for, it was like $350. It's not, it's not, I just saw one that was like $700.
Speaker: And I was like, good God. But you put your leggings on when you got a shower. You put your leggings on when you get out of shower. But yeah, it's really cool. I was playing with a little bit there when we were at Best Buy today and I was like,
Speaker: I don't even like racing games, but I'll buy one and I'll play it. I'll beat the piss out of those. I'll download the new NASCAR game, man. I'll be Ricky Bobby all day. And YouTube that will literally take parts of a car and add those into it so it literally feels like you're sitting in a car.
Speaker: I've asked my wife, can I do that? And she's like, no, you can get the steering wheel, but you're not bringing the car parts into the house. I'm like, well, can I put a TV in my car? Put it on the which of the car? I'm seriously thinking about running over the junkyard, ripping out the dash, the center console, and a chair filled me a little box. Put it in the bedroom. I'll go with like a lead balloon. It'll be awesome.
Speaker: that's my that's I think I'm going to be my next purchase. I want to get one. I love it. Devil Hills Cop 2 just started. Sorry. Nice. Yeah. Devil Hills Cop 1 was like, you know how to watch Gilbert Godfrey. Ouch. You're pulling my arm. Bitch. He takes the ****
Speaker: that's right. I like that. I love that dude. I like that. I do. I'm in this **** all over the place. I'm in the comments. People trying to find me. That's what I'm doing on the phone. The kids. Tony. Tony. Tony. Yes. Yes. What are you doing, Tony?
Speaker: Showing the show? No, I haven't watched it yet. I'm spreading the show out. Everybody's asking where it's at, how to find us. I'm letting everybody know. I'm responding to comments, chit -chatting all that mess. I don't want everybody to think I'm ignoring. No, I'm actually trying to do what the man says we never do enough of. So damn it, I am the witness and you are too. I love that you guys, I love that you guys wait.
Speaker: I love that you wait to do that. I don't know. Like in the middle of the show, when we're live, when we're trying to create new content. You don't believe my face. Let me. It's under the front of your face. That's right. Yeah. Let me let me ignore the show. The only thing I've ever asked for you guys to fucking share is the goddamn podcast. That's what I do. I'm still on Spotify. I'm doing. Fucking think I'm doing. Oh, my God. Anyway, do you have some news for us? I can tell you exactly what the fuck you're doing.
Speaker: because the last podcast I posted was last week on Spotify and it still has only 41 shares that I shared. That means you two jackasses haven't shared the episode at all.
Speaker: You two have me fucked up. Yous have me fucked up. Look at that. The last episode I posted was episode 135. Oh, what is that? 41 shares. You know who shared that? I did. Our current episode. I did. That's right. I did. I don't care about the fucking live episodes. I would rather you be in here for making content with us paying attention rather than doing this. You post after I want this shit happening. Why the fuck are we here? Got me fucked up.
Speaker: This isn't going to make us money when we do it live. When I post it, this is fantastic because the more people that listen on demand, it's going to drive them to the lives, and then they're going to come and watch the lives. But actually, if you want to consider this. Oh my God. Let's not use demand to consider in the next 20 minutes. 41 on episode 135. You are. Episode 34. No share because I didn't share that one. How do you know I don't share it to my personal pages? I just share that one out.
Speaker: uh because it would because it tells me when you share it even if you share it to your personal page uh episode 134 38 shares episode 131 somebody helped me share Jeff thank you I've been busy episode 130 41 shares 129 33 shares
Speaker: No shares on twenty -seven, one twenty -seven, forty -one, one twenty -six. Some of them, some of them I don't. Some of them I don't share on purpose just to see if you two will share. That's what I'm talking about. I am trying to set you up. I am trying to set you up.
Speaker: And the lives, Tony, as I've said before, 50 % of the people that are gonna see this when we're live that you share it to, I don't care if they fucking come in here because there are a bunch of shit stirrers and drama queens. When we talk about my friends, fuck you. We had a discussion about online friends and notice when you were in that live and you were in that broadcast, you wasn't paying attention half the damn time because people were speaking truth. You're on our friends or in the chatters box. You're on our friends and even up here.
Speaker: Tim's my friend. Okay. Tim's my friend. Busted rubber is my friend. Officer friend. Debbie's my friend. Deb's my friend. Golf Hawk is my friend. My friend's with everybody. Tony D is about to not be my friend. Click, click, delete it. I'm gonna slap my finger at Thanos, you tell me. I have a quick joke for you. Oh, speaking of Thanos. Uh -oh.
Speaker: I got a quick dad joke for you. I got a dirty dad joke for you. What's the difference between her asshole and a nine volt battery? It's two holes. We know we're not supposed to, but we're just going to put our tongue on it.
Speaker: 9 -volt battery, yes, but not the other. You never do that? You've never... Yeah, the 9 -volt battery, yes. You've never tossed a salad? No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't eat the booties like groceries. Oh, man. That's how you fuck around and get dysentery and you die on the Oregon Trail. You pull out a mouth and a nose. Yeah. And a pink eye. And a pink eye. Maybe if your girl can't wipe her ass.
Speaker: Okay, I'll tell you what, since I'm on TikTok and I want some of the Pippa Poppers, I'll wait for you to be on the next episode. Hey, I'll tell you what, that shit's fucked up, right? I'll be loving that shit. I ain't gonna lie. I do tell you. I want that shit for two hours. Did you see that guy with the thing on his head, man? Did you see the guy with the worm in his eye? Yeah. And the dude pulled it up with the damn tweezers? Mm -hmm. You see the one with the eye with the worm, it was in the damn eye duct. Did you see the thing with the dude pulling it up came over like this? It's like watching a car accident. And then he pulled it back, and then he had some sock jam up under that mouth.
Speaker: No, have you gotten to the ear ones? Where they pull the shit out of people's ears? Where they pull the spiders out. Yeah. Now, the aliens are fucking me up. The aliens are pretty good, but I can't prove it yet. The megalodon. Ooh, the megalodon. Have you seen a dude with the... He's got dreadlocks and there's something in it? No. You've got it. It turns out, spoiler alert, it's a fucking fishing lure. It's a fake video with a fishing lure. Yeah, but literally, for like, the video goes on and on and on.
Speaker: But when you find out it's a fishing lure, you're basically on the phone. Oh, yeah. We didn't do this right. Hey, Mrs. Officer. If you pulled Tony and I over, can we do the joke where we go? Do you know why I pulled you over? And then we sit there and go, depends on how long you've been following us.
Speaker: I don't know if she's watching. She's getting ready to take a shower. This happened to me. Why is she doing what is happening? Well, are you watching? That's how long you've been following us? Oh. She's like, hold on. I'm going to watch it while I'm in the shower like Chris does. She's good. Wonderful. She's good. No, she's not in the shower now. I did do something awesome.
Speaker: I turned my shower into a rain shower. They had a kit at Walmart for like 10 bucks. Your normal shower comes out like in a 45 or whatever. And the new attachment I added, it comes out straight and then 90 degrees down and you put the rain shower thing on it. So now I got a rain shower and I'm happy. Jody says hi. Thank you, Jody. Yeah, I see that. We got a hi from Jody.
Speaker: That's a. You to put that on the bottom. Julie says hi. Damn it. That's right. That's Tony. Tony if you and I go to sit tonight, she'll pull us over. I'm doing it right along that day. I'm gonna I'm gonna introduce you to I'm gonna introduce you to jackasses to police brutality. Can I have a badge for five minutes? Tony said we only need five minutes. I'm kicking both of their asses for five minutes.
Speaker: Jay Money's in the house. Yeah, he is. Had already talking shit. That's what he did. After his past week, he might want to shut up and tell him I said so. We're objective. I'm sure he can hear you, Tony. I hate to be the bearer of bad news. He's like telling him I said so. Motherfucker, he can hear you. But yeah, I turned my shower into a rain shower, and I'm stupid happy about it.
Speaker: I want to go buy those glass blocks and build a surround. So you bought one of those square shower heads? Yeah, I got the shower head and the pipe that comes out to 90 degrees. It was the middle of the shower for 10 bucks.
Speaker: Damn, Tony. Something wrong with your stomach. I know what's going on, Jake. That's not what it sounded like. What was that at garbage disposal? I didn't know what to find. That was definitely garbage disposal. Well, gentlemen. Yes. I'm going to keep this fucking show rolling properly. You got some news or top 10 for us? I don't have it. Here's the thing. Next break, because I got a new phone. All my saved websites where I get my news from.
Speaker: I no longer saved in my web browser. So nice. I'm going to see if I can remember. But they should they should have been. I was going to say so. Yeah, you don't say you don't. I mean, she's got stuff on my Google browser for. I know we could do days. I know. Yeah, no, yeah, no, I had it saved in my Google browser, but it didn't transfer forever to my new phone.
Speaker: It was a browser for my old phone. Yeah, but you got to sign into your new Google account, right? I am. It automatically signs in when you transfer everything, but it doesn't transfer that apparently. So I've got to, during the next break, I'm going to see if I can pull up. I think I know the pages. All I got to do is just pull up the pages.
Speaker: I have six accounts on Google. Like, so if I put in a different Google account, I have one for Google talk, which is what I used to send texts on. It goes off your email accounts. I have, um,
Speaker: I only have three, but then I have my email account. And then when I had vape and chill, when I did that on Periscope, because I did like I did here, I created all new stuff for it. So it wasn't all going to my personal and I can separate it. And then I have the nonsensical nonsense email account. Well, one of my coworkers that I work with daily, I couldn't set up a Google phone.
Speaker: speak and reach the states with the US number because it are not that pins Mexico. So I didn't want to be sending text out for Mexico. Okay, Tim, let's see if I trust you here. But I do have I do have a continuation into the 50 dumbest things ever said in court.
Speaker: Oh, it's my top 10, because it's my show, and I do everything, and I have a microphone. So here's my fucking top 10, you stupid freaks. That thing's cool. Great.
Speaker: because it's my show and I do every day. Somebody's creeping on us. I saw it. He said he was typing. I thought so too. I figured he was going to say hi finally. He keeps getting ready to and then doesn't.
Speaker: I don't know. But this is the uh continuation of the fifty dumbest things ever said in court. Objection. How this goes. Here's here, right? But depending on how this goes, we only got twenty -five left. So, we may get through all of them or we'll may just get through ten and then we'll do the uh next fifteen. Tony said they're throwing out court terms like he's a **** lawyer. Jesus.
Speaker: I'm gonna hold you. I don't know. You're talking about court. So, we're throwing out court terms. Yeah, I just don't know what he's doing and where he's at. Like, we're not doing a show or anything. So, I mean, it's the same thing. Monday, Wednesday, Saturday. Same nonsensical time. Same nonsensical channel. It's not like we changed it up and it's like, oh, surprise. It's a modified guest on Sunday.
Speaker: I'm not ever ruled. I'm the judge, jury, and executioner in this motherfucker. You might as well get used to it. I'm Judge fucking Dred. I'm the Chief Justice. Yes, I am. What does that have to do with anything? I just said I'm the judge, jury, and executioner.
Speaker: Yeah. And guess what happened to the chief justice. He was corrupt and he got fucking got dead. All right. I'll tell him to be the chief justice. I'll be, I'll be put. He's got a movie. I like that. Damn. We're going through it. Nobody said no. It was a good movie, but coming to number two, one in five on our continuation of the 50 dumbest things ever said in the courtroom. I didn't do it. Lawyer talking to a witness. He asked, are you Mary witnesses? No, I'm divorced.
Speaker: And what did your husband do before you divorced him? Witness responds, a lot of things I didn't know about. What? Jesus. Why do you think he's divorced? Number 24. Boyer asks, or says, you say the stairs went down to the basement. Witness says, yes. Boyer responds with, and these stairs, did they go up also?
Speaker: Yes. They they only go down. They only go down. Jackass. Number twenty -three. Attorney to a witness. What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? The witness response. Gucci sweats and Reeboks. I love that. Right there.
Speaker: Number 22, lawyer to a witness. Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial? The witness responded, the victim lived. Yeah, he lived. Son of a bitch wouldn't die. Number 21, attorney to a
Speaker: Wow. Number 21 attorney question and witness. This is another words or heard moment. The Myashtina Gravis. Does that affect your memory at all? Yes. Yes. What? Yes, it does. The witness says yes. You sound like a whole lot of shit. And the attorney then responds. And in what ways does it affect your memory?
Speaker: witnesses. I forgot. The attorney then responds with you forgot. Can you give us an example of something you forgot? Right? Did he answer? Did he answer? Did his dumbass answer? I'm assuming he worked. Yeah, I'm assuming he answered him. It was like, yeah, I forgot. Number 20 lawyer to a witness doctor. Did you say he was shot in the woods? Witness? No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.
Speaker: The lawyers should go to fucking jail. We don't know the difference between lumber and lumbar number nineteen lawyer again talking to a witness who appears to be a police officer lawyers is trooper. When you stop the defendant, wear your red and blue lights flashing.
Speaker: Trooper answers, yes. Oyer, did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car? Trooper says, yes, sir. Lawyer then asks, what did she say? Trooper responds with, what disco am I at? I think we know what that was. That was a DUI situation. That was a DUI to me. Dewey time. Somebody definitely did the stupid human tricks that night. That's right.
Speaker: Number 18, lawyer speaking to a witness. Lawyer asked, can you describe what the person who attacked you look like? Witness responds, no, he was wearing a mask. The lawyer then asked, what was he wearing under the mask? To which the witness responds, er, his face. I didn't, it's not like I make these up.
Speaker: Number 17, attorney to witness. What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning, witness? He said, where am I, Kathy? The attorney then responds with, and why did that upset you? Witness responded, my name is Susan. Somebody don't kill her husband. And that is why she is on trial. Sounds like it was to me.
Speaker: I just got an excellent message. Nice. Coming in at number 16. Lawyer to witness, was that the same note as you broke as a child? Witness responds, I only have one, you know? I mean, I saw that one coming just now. All right. Number 15.
Speaker: I'm sorry. Lawyer question in a witness. Are you sexually active? The witness responds. No, I just lay there. That's like if you do you smoke everything? I don't know. I've never looked. Number fourteen lawyer to witness. The lawyer asked what happened then? The witness responded. He told me he says I have to kill you because you can identify.
Speaker: Wait, the longer than response. Did he kill you? And the witness says no. Hell no. Oh my God. A better way. Number 13. Not bad. Number 13, attorney and witness back and forth. So the date of conception of the babies was August 8th. Witness responds with yes.
Speaker: turn it in. What were you doing at that time? And the witness responded getting laid. Kind of obvious. What do you think I was doing? It's having a conception. I don't know if you know how reproduction system works. I don't know if you had the birds and bees conversation, Mr. Lawyer man, but when a man and a woman like each other.
Speaker: Yeah. They like each other a lot. They, uh, you know, take their clothes on. Let me demonstrate with this, let me demonstrate with this hot dog and donut. All of a sudden I'm an expert goddamn witness on this thing. Number 12, lawyer to lawyer conversation here.
Speaker: When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able for the time being, excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station. Other lawyer, objection.
Speaker: That objection, that question should be taken out and shot. Wow. That was rough to read. I can only imagine being in the courtroom having to hear that. I read it word for word. It still didn't make sense. It did make any sense. It's the objection and the other lawyer wanting to put that question down.
Speaker: Right. Oh my God. Right. Number 11. Attorney to witness. Were you present when your picture was taken? The witness. Are you shitting me? That would be me. I swear. That would be you sober. That would be you sober.
Speaker: Number 10. Attorney to witness. All your responses must be oral. Okay, what school did you go to? Witness. Oral dot dot dot. I'm going to jail. There's the reason why they have contempt of court. Number nine. Another attorney to witness here. Do you recall
Speaker: What time you examine the body? Witness, I'm assuming the coroner, the autopsy started around 8 .30. The attorney responds with, and Mr. Dittin was dead at this time. The witness responded, if not, he was by the time I finished.
Speaker: I think I do. I think I've had my new job. I want to be a court stenographer. Right? Well, I know. Can I be a court? Maybe I use that weird machine. It's like shorthand. We don't even have work photos on there. I don't know how to do this. I don't know how it works. It's all short here. I don't know what works. Can I be a cameraman in a courtroom? Or can I? Right? I just want to be a court reporter.
Speaker: Yeah, bail into the bill bill. I don't want to. I just want to hang out in there and you just hang out and and fucking courtrooms. But but then you report what you've heard in the newspaper.
Speaker: Yeah, I just I just want to hang out in all the court hearings. I mean, I guess I can get away with it. If I was a courtroom reporter, I can get away with it easier than being a bailiff or you know, an official of the court. Yeah, like an official of the court. You're not allowed to talk about the case but if you're just there and then you say so this is what happened to this dumbass and I think this guy did it, you know, there you go.
Speaker: COVID number eight. Yeah. COVID number eight. Well, this is fantastic content. I love this. Attorney to witness. Can you describe the individual witness response? He was a medium height and had a beard. Attorney then asked, was this a male or female?
Speaker: And the witness responded, unless the circus was in town, I'm going to go with now. Even the professionals don't even know how to tell the difference between a man and woman. The answer for that is it's 2022. I don't know. It could go either way. I don't know. I don't know what he identified. He could identify as a seven foot tall train of sorts for all I know.
Speaker: Yeah, I have actually identified as a transgender that used to be a woman. I was thoroughly blown. My, my broasters working on throwing something on his face. Yeah. I'm going to say Chaz Bono. Chaz Bono has a full on beard these days. Chaz Bono. He had that for a while. He's had that for a while. He rocks a nice beard. I didn't even lie. That's a good beard.
Speaker: It took about 10 years. Elliot Page. Elliot Page has grown a small beard. Elliot Page. That's that chick from Cheeto. Yeah. Well, she's on that show, The Umbrella Academy. And of course, they had to go woke and bring it up. Yeah, my Brewster has some weird shit growing on his face.
Speaker: I'm like, just stop. No, it's like patches. Yeah. It's a patch. I'm like, just stop until you can actually reach that point where you can grow facial. I literally told Nick in the past, shave it a couple of times and it'll grow back better. Give me a minute, and I will, Tim. Tim's apparently a purple toaster. Why purple, Tim? I identify as a Tyrannosaurus rex. I still identify as a raccoon. Who doesn't set the comp, plain and simple.
Speaker: I identify as a raccoon. I identify problems in my life. No, you don't because you don't create problems in your life. Well, you create and deny and deny the problems in your life. You're in denial, sir. You identify as denial. You, sir, are the definition of denial as a river in Egypt. I was just about to say denial is not original a river in Egypt.
Speaker: Number seven. Yeah, we're gonna go ahead and rock these out. There's seven left. Attorney's witness. The witness was a doctor. Attorney asked, now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? The doctor then responds, did you actually pass the bar exam?
Speaker: There's nothing funnier than a smart ass on the stage. Oh, that doctor needs to be my new doctor. What's that? It's a dumb ass question. It's a dumb ass question. And I got a dumb ass answer. And I would literally be like, you know, you ask a stupid question, you get a stupid answer. Enjoy. Number six, attorney to witness the youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?
Speaker: The witness responds he's 20 much like your IQ. Burn!
Speaker: Chris is in the background. Ooh, get that guy burned, kid, because he just got burned. He took your fucking soul, sir. Chris is like, stands up in the background and goes, I'm going to call an ambulance, because you just got burned. Tell me what you did about that guy, Mr. Lares. Well, not purple, you mean. I just asked him. Jesus, my bad. Fucking purple toaster. And we know what purple stands for.
Speaker: You're a Decepticon. You're a limp -wristed. So basically, what Tim's saying, since he's purple, he would have kissed the French guy on the lips in Ricky Bobby. Because purple is the gay pride color. Happy pride, motherfuckers! I thought it was rainbow. No, purple was, rainbow is for the different, because like, purple is gay, and pink and blue is trans,
Speaker: I don't know. I don't understand, man. I don't even understand half the letters in the alphabet that they use. Amen to that. Like something like they have like L B G T Q I and sometimes they like it's the **** vowels. What's the plus? Is that like the the Disney? That's extra. That's extra good. Extra trans. Is that like it's like trans with a side of fries.
Speaker: or gay with a side of shake, you know what I mean? Like, put the mayonnaise on the side. Don't put the mayonnaise on my sandwich. Put it on the side. I see. And we've lost 45 followers just now. I don't know. Many of our gay friends or followers, if you'd like to come on the show and describe and explain it to them, you are more than welcome. Once again, and I've said this before, you'll ask 100 people, get 100 different. This is why we need to bring Nick on the show.
Speaker: Yeah, I will melt. Yeah, I know better not. He'll he'll have a meltdown. Because I'll **** him all up just to I'll just poke the bear. I'll just poke the bear just because he's my brother. I'll just poke the **** bear until he goes into a full on a style meltdown. Everybody evacuate. We're never coming back.
Speaker: I wonder if I can get canceled for fucking with my own brother. Yeah. Who is trans and identifies as a man and I use the proper pronouns. I never disrespect him and not use the proper pronouns. Well, no, that's true. I don't, I don't, I tried to say Nick as a guy and it comes down to you're allowed to fuck with him because he's your brother. Well, uh, Jason, uh,
Speaker: If you'd like to ask my girlfriend about the vagina comment, I don't have one and she can verify it. Weirdo. Wait. Jay said that I, uh, he hopes he didn't, he, please tell me I didn't miss, didn't miss him admitting that he has a vagina. Call me Glee. I'm a T -Rex. I'm, I'm, I'm, uh, I identify as a T -Rex. I'm trans dinosaur.
Speaker: It was Friday day everywhere. Yeah. They had pride parade down here. Like last week. T -Rex is my is my newest pronoun. T -Rex. I'm a. Tim, I ain't gonna lie. When they throw down, they throw down. I'll always tell people when I went to morning brought 99 and saw them down there.
Speaker: you ain't seen for for for any of you listening the other day when I was talking to that my wife went to the pride parade with her friend that he said they they don't **** around. They party. They don't know for for for any of you listening, we're making jokes but II will speak for me and myself only I am 100 % an ally II you know, I believe that you know, the LBGTQ should have all their equal rights and everything else and they aren't nobody do your thing. If you're happy, you're happy.
Speaker: Um, but I've gone to, you know, I've gone to quite a few pride parades and pride festivals myself and they're an absolute blast. They are so much fun because, and, and then Johnny and I were talking about that today cause she was doing a different detail, but it was the pride parade was downtown. They're happy, man. Like they're legitimately, they're nobody's there causing problems. They're having fun. They're having a good time. And they're the nicest fucking people are the nicest people in the world.
Speaker: You just like that they buy you drinks, don't lie. Well, it's nice to have a drink spot for me, but that's not even the case. Because like I told Jody, the first time I ever went, I was kind of hesitant because I was like, I don't want a bunch of dudes hitting on me all day long, being all weird and stuff. But when you're a straight person and you go to Pride, you stand out like a sore thumb. It's like a black guy at a Klan meeting, you stand out.
Speaker: because i didn't
Speaker: It was in my head and out my mouth before I could even think that's what happens that's why you guys call me racist
Speaker: But no, you stand out, they know. And like I told Jody, yeah, there was a couple of guys that come up and hit on you or whatever. You're like, I'm straight. And they're like, I'm sorry. They're like, yeah, you're straight now. But it was just all about having fun and having a good time and hanging out. And they really are. I mean, at the end of the day, they really are.
Speaker: I've gone to the pride parade in Columbus. I've gone to pride in Charleston. Now, Charleston, not that I'm aware of. It doesn't have any like gay bars that I know of, but every bar and restaurant or like every bar downtown, they jump on board and they support it.
Speaker: and they fly the flags and they do this, that, and the other thing. So, you know, everybody winds up downtown and it's just a fun time. You know, it's one of those few days where you can get such a large crowd together. I don't even want to know. He's not really like all types of white people.
Speaker: And you want to get invited onto the show saying shit. You got to be fucking kidding me. See, this is like... This is... This is... Tim. I was reading Tim's comment.
Speaker: Jason's still salty because I almost became his new step daddy. I'm not racist. I have a color TV. Yeah. See, see, see Tony, at least, at least mine was entertaining and comical. Jeff, just, just no words for it. It's just, there's just no words.
Speaker: There's only one person in here who is who is openly admitted to tossing salads. The other two people in here. Hey, hey, one out of three or whatever the hell you say. Two out of three. Well, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Why do you like going over there? I do the same thing. There we go. You're married to the salad. You toss. So I'm going to give you that. Exactly. It's not like it's not like I'm always married to the salad. She's tossing. Huh?
Speaker: Much like Ron White, Jeff used to go down to the certain part of town, you could get hookers for like five bucks. And that story, I didn't know that they were guys. He tells that story. How did you not know all this time? And they weren't necessarily, it was like, you know, like, how do you not know? I never.
Speaker: I don't think that's the only thing he was doing. No, because he said he would go to the car and get one. When you when you go down there and you do that, when you when you're getting hookers that often and you're admitting to it. I think you find out when when when when your **** nut sacks are playing patty cat patty cake together. Jesus. Patty cake. Patty cake. Patty cake. Are you not smacking my nuts? What the hell?
Speaker: Yeah. I have already here. **** it. **** it. Literally, literally **** it. Whatever. Don't stop now. You never feel like stopping. Just don't tell nobody. I I just sometimes
Speaker: Sometimes the world is just too much. So how about them Yankees? I don't know if you've seen that one video on TikTok where the guy's like, you're a good looking girl. She's like, I'm not a girl, I'm a lady boy. And I was like, wait, what?
Speaker: Have you seen that video? No. Wasn't looking for it. No, no. What algorithm are you on? It's not an algorithm. It's really. No. You're scrolling through TikTok. You're on a different algorithm than me and Tony. No. What are you doing, Jeff? I've seen that video pop up like four or five times. No, it's because it's a political algorithm. As Ricky would say to Lucy, you have some explaining to do to me.
Speaker: But until this person says that they're a lady boy, you would have never guessed it. I've heard. Well, for being a guy that grew up in the 90s and whatnot and played sick a few days from school and watched Jerry Springer and Morrie and whatnot. And having friends in that community and stuff like that, there are some transgender women that are like -
Speaker: You know what? No, not that, but it's just like, yeah, that's pretty convincing. But then you also discover there's spectrum though, that you're, I'm a woman, but I got a full beard. Cause I watched Maury and Jerry Springer. You've come to that conclusion.
Speaker: Jason. What you're saying is, what you're saying is, I mean, there are, there are transgender female out there that you're like, wait. But there's, there's, there's transgender dudes out there that you would never know. Yes. There's a, there, there is a, there's a. Like if you didn't know Nick before and you just saw Nick on TikTok, you'd be like, okay, I get it. That's a dude. That'd be nice. There's a very well -known, very popular
Speaker: was born a female, transitioned into a man. Still has - Right, right. 80 parts, you know. Had the top surgery done, but he is a swallowed up dude, like big old jacked up muscle guy, bald tattoos. Looks like 100 % legitimate man. He's been around for years. I watched him years ago. I watched this documentary.
Speaker: And, uh, no, no, no, no, it wasn't, it really wasn't a poor, it really wasn't a porno, but it was, it was about the, it was about the porn industry. I'm not gonna lie. It was about the porn industry, but there was no nudity or anything like that. And, uh, and he was in it and they were talking. No, no, no, no, no. It was, I can't remember what it was called, but he was in it and they were talking about how a lot of guys.
Speaker: would do porn with him because he still had his like straight, quote unquote, straight guys would do porn shoots with him because he still had his lady parts down there and it didn't make him feel gay. And I'm like, yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. If it looks like I'm fucking a man holding pill from behind. It's like I'm fucking a dude. I don't care. That was one of those things. That was one of those things. That was one of those things in that documentary that I watched that there's a lot of straight guys that'll do gay porn. They call it gay for pay. They call it gay for pay. But they're 100 % straight. Yeah.
Speaker: And I'm like, yeah, but - If you do it once in a blue moon, apparently you're not gay. Okay. Yeah, but my thing is - Exactly, Amanda, I'm with you. Once your buttholes, once your buttholes use like a train tunnel, if you don't want to be gay - No, but I think the thing is - You're at least viable. Well, I mean, yeah.
Speaker: because I don't care how much, I don't care how much money, I don't care how much money you come to me with. You're not sticking a dick in any of my orifices. You can say, hey, we're gonna - So, so, so, so, so, let's say Elon Musk, the richest guy in the world comes up - I knew this was coming. I knew this was coming. Seven billion in your pocket now, but you gotta suck my dick. Tax free. Tax free. Tax exempt. I would say - Suck my dick. I don't have to nut. I don't have to nut. You just gotta - I would say - One minute, one minute.
Speaker: Give me the money first and then as soon as I got the money, I would throw punch him in his alien face or in his alien neck and leave. Go in the room. Get the money. Put yourself all fucked up. I don't believe him and he don't have to tell me either. Thank you, Tony. Thank you, Tony. No one ever knows. No, here's the thing. You said, I don't believe him and you don't have to tell me. So thank you.
Speaker: When you impair, no one's going to know ever. My conscious will kill me. My conscious will kill me. But here's the thing. I host a podcast. Everybody would know. Because the first thing I would do is go. Welcome to Nonsense School Nonsense. I'm $70 million richer because I blew me a lot of months. Nobody's going to know. All right. Let's do this.
Speaker: Hey, guess who has $7 billion in the bank? All I had to do is blow Elon Musk. He didn't even nut. He didn't even nut. I just stuck it in my mouth. I got $7 million. I can't beat him. But I got $7 million, bitch. Check out his Ferrari. All right, let's be clear. Joke's on him. I used a flashlight. It wasn't even my mouth. I put my cowboy hat on so he couldn't see. I used a flashlight.
Speaker: I'm over here looking at the TV. Basically, I gave me almost a head job for $7 billion. No, OK. You're going to do it for $7 billion? I have no idea. I don't think. I don't know. It's got money to burn. Yeah, it does.
Speaker: So what you do, Jeffrey, he's going to offer you $7 billion for a blowjob and you don't think nobody's going to fucking know there's no blowjob worth $7 billion. I got $7 billion. I don't fucking care if you know. Okay, go get it. Fucking mountaintop for $7 billion. Okay, let me help you. Let me help you out. We're on the internet. He's not the richest person in the world and the people with more money to him will be looking for you. God bless.
Speaker: The end of the day, I'll have $7 billion. Yes, you will. Yes, you will. Yes, you will. And I will laugh my ass all the way to the bank. I'm not mad at you. And here's the thing. The stereotype is they have to bust it. I will be skipping after. You can do it. You can do it. And he doesn't even have to bust. I'm not mad at you. It just ain't me. It's going to eat my conscience off.
Speaker: It's not even a thing that nobody's going to know because again, it's content. It's content. I mean, that would be that's a three hour podcast right there. But at the end of the day, A, the rules don't say I can't be completely fucking hammered drunk when I do it.
Speaker: So I'm like, yes, I will blow you for seven billion, but I'm going to drink this entire bottle of fucking tequila before I do it. Because I'm not going to remember any. You say, okay, so what's your problem? I'm not saying, I'm not saying yes. And I'm not saying no. I'm saying no.
Speaker: I'm saying there would be a whole lot of thought and contemplation going in there. And more than likely, I would probably go plan B. Give me the money first, and then I'm going to beat his ass.
Speaker: Either way, I got a cool story. Elon Musk gave me $7 billion because he thought I was going to suck his cock. But in actuality, I kicked his ass and took a $7 billion. Or, hey, I blew Elon Musk. He didn't nut in my mouth. He didn't even nut at all. And I got $7 billion. Either way, it's a story.
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, but I mean, at the end of the day, but how do you know he's not how do you know he's not a one punk show? This is true. And then at that minute, you're just like, Oh, God. Oh, God. I mean, he's like, yeah, I would have to have a full minute. You don't get the money. No, but here's the thing. Here's the thing. He's got to stop.
Speaker: So that no matter what I get my money. But at the end of the day for $7 billion, I will forget because I'll drink my face off afterwards. You're gonna be drinking all right. I'm gonna do a lot of Jim Carrey with the whole crying game. Jeff's gonna be in this shower.
Speaker: I have seven billion dollars. I have seven billion dollars. I have seven billion dollars. I can't get the taste out of my mouth.
Speaker: They said it. They said it. I'll drink gasoline right after. I don't know. You're going to get a fucking protein shake is what you're going to get. You didn't even ask him to do anything first, you nasty bastard. That's implied. I mean, it's Elon Musk. I'm pretty sure. It wasn't part of the contract. That's $7 billion. I'm quite sure there's going to be some stipulations in there and you can't say nothing. You ain't having them to watch it. It's $7 billion.
Speaker: Okay, notice. Hold on, hold on, hold on, time out, time out, time out. I'll slow it, just a minute. Johnny's upstairs.
Speaker: She sent me a Snapchat. For seven billion dollars, you better lick that lollipop. So I guess for seven million dollars, I'm sucking you off my stick. Yes, ma 'am. That's all. And I guarantee you, my wife is saying the same things. You're like, what the fuck? You better look him in the eye. You better look him right in the eye while you do it. You just both have. You better rail them off, motherfucker. Get your ass on your knees.
Speaker: Stick your pinky in his butt hole, everything. Whatever that dude wants, you give it to him, because $7 billion, bitch. Tim, you ain't shit. Amanda's killing y 'all. I'm sitting here just watching y 'all. I agree with Amanda here. $7 billion was a lot of therapy, I would hate it. You were supposed to kill themselves. Don't be cool.
Speaker: Well, I guess I just got told. Do you have to answer your question? Yes. Yes, I will be. There it is. Two out of three, boys. The bosses laid down the law. The black man said no.
Speaker: I, I, I should, I would think about it, but I got told the boss said, yes, you better put away and lollipop is going to be playing on the, in the background too. Should be sitting in the background going, the good ship. Maybe it's a little weird that we went under the upper. It's become quite popular on the show.
Speaker: No, like I said, I would have to be an escrow that I guarantee. No, I want cash. I want cold hard cash in my pocket. You'll get some hard all right.
Speaker: I'm just saying. This is so tragic. Little Wayne, congratulations, Little Wayne. Your irrelevant ass has become popular again because of nonsensical nonsense with Mrs. Officer and now Lolly. She's standing in the back row going, you better go to that man. He's talking motherfucker.
Speaker: Look in the eyes. You want to go on vacation, don't you? Choke on it. Pretend again. Now cry. Oh, don't worry. I'll be crying. Don't worry. I will cry. But I will cry until I see my bank account release. $7 billion will go a long way. That is for sure. I will buy everything in Home Depot the next day, but that's OK.
Speaker: She better never tell me no if I want to buy something. That's all I gotta say. Look, if I do this and I get to seven billion, whenever I want to buy, you agree. I like that song actually too. I like Lil Wayne. A lot of people shit on Lil Wayne, but I like Lil Wayne. I'm not a fan. I'm not a fan. I like his butt off. I don't like every show, but he's got good ones.
Speaker: I don't know how we're going to recover from this mess. I can't even do news tonight. We've established that Chris has got a little dick and Chris and I'll suck a dick for $7 .00. Where have you got no money? We'll do it all. Oh, $1 ,000 ,000. You'll do it. How much?
Speaker: $400 million. $400 million. A lot of people say they won't do nothing for $400 million. He said $400 million, you'll do it. I was like, damn. Oh, fucking hell. Is this a full song, Tim, or just a part of a song? At the end of the day, what's your minimum on my one? Oh my god, Tim, I already had that. It's not even a full song. I was going to say I had that one too. Yeah. I thought it was a full song. But at the end of the day, what? What's your minimum? Minimum from what?
Speaker: What have we been talking about for the past hour? Oh my god, I'm going to fucking break Jeff. I'm just saying I make a lot of money. You don't make enough money. And I'd be like, you know what? And I divorced you for a reason. I may be broke, but I got blown my blick. Yeah, you don't make enough money and I already divorced you once.
Speaker: So, basically, what you're saying is you made a mistake. You're saying you do it for free, Chris? No, no. I'm saying you don't make enough money. I earned your money. There's no good here. Your money is no good here because it's not going to **** happen. I divorce you again. Again, you're just another one of them sad **** that realized after I was gone that your life was worthless without me and you need me in your life.
Speaker: You made a mistake. You made a mistake and you let me go and now you can't have me no more. That's okay. Elon's got my back. How do we tag Elon Musk in this podcast?
Speaker: He's like, you know what, boys? I got seven billion. I knew he was going to say that. He owns Twitter. Who's still up? Elon Musk, because he's still on Twitter. You're going to tag him, too. I'm going to tag him, but this bucket broadcast is what I'm going to do right now. I got $14 billion to blow, boys. And he quotes blow.
Speaker: You put some quotation marks. You know you got to spread the wealth because we're part of the show. We're family, right? No, no, no. I'm sucking dick. No, you ain't. I'm like, here Tony, here's a quarter. Go buy yourself a fucking clue. You go, Amanda, telling her he's the best you ever had, you might get a bonus. That's one of those times where if I'm eating steak, you boys ain't eating steak.
Speaker: If I'm earning my money the old -fashioned way You are earning your money the old -fashioned way
Speaker: I just I just tagged Elon Musk Musk and said hey we had a very well apparently uh apparently uh we're gonna take a break and we're gonna address this Snapchat that I just got that I just got when we come back from break.
Speaker: Wait on you guys. Let's let's let's cleanse our palette for a few moments with a little black top mojo. Tim, if that is the full Fauzi remix, I'm going to get it saved and downloaded and uploaded for Monday or Wednesday. But in the meantime... The madness comment is what you need to send. Send Deelan.
Speaker: All of a sudden Elon Musk looks at his phone and goes, where the fuck are these people? I regret buying Twitter all of a sudden. How do I? What's the button? At Elon Musk, we had an important question proposed on the show tonight. Do you be willing to pay $7 billion for one of us to blow you?
Speaker: Also, Glick's girlfriend has pimped you out, pimped him out for $7 billion. He pimped the hell out of you. She pimped the shit out of me. Speaking of which, like I said, we'll address that when we come back from break because I just got another Snapchat. I'm going to have to go have a conversation.
Speaker: She's going to pull, she's going to pull out Will Ferrell, the other guys. Gator going to have to smack a bitch. My bad Gator. I'm just going to go do my podcast. I'm sorry.
Speaker: I'm I'm I'm over here on the heterosexual side. You you know what? As as as defiant as Tony is, you know, you know, damn well, you know, without a thought, you know, without a thought, you know, without a thought, you know, without a thought, you know, without a thought, you know, without a thought, you know, without a thought, you know, without a thought, you know, without a thought, you know, without a thought, you know, without a thought, you know, without a thought, you know, without a thought, you know, without a thought, you know, without a thought, you know, without a thought, you know, without a thought, you know, without a thought, you know, without a thought, you know, without a thought, you know, without a thought, you know, without a thought, you know, without a thought, you know, without a thought, you know, without a thought, you know, without a thought, you know, without a thought,
Speaker: I want the money in my account. I want no actually I want cold hard cash in my possession.
Speaker: We're going to break. We're going to break. We're going to break. We're going to break. We'll continue this when we come back. We got to take a break. Blacktop Mojo. It's the second hour. It's a cover song. I need to cleanse my palate. I need more beer. I need to go have a conversation apparently.
Speaker: Yeah, we got Blacktop Mojo here for the break. Check him out wherever you stream music. Check out Blacktop Mojo on all social media wherever you stream. We'll be back.
Speaker: Fucking prick. Okay. Shut up. I got you. This is about to get interesting. Now here you go again You say you want your freedom
Speaker: Then it's only right that you should play it the way you feel it But listen carefully to the sound Dreams of loneliness are like a heartbeat drives you mad Oh stillness of remembering what you had And what you lost
Speaker: Yeah, what you had and what you lost Oh, and the thunder only happened when it's raining And players, they only love you when they're playing
Speaker: When the rain washes you clean, you know You will know Now here I go, girl, I see the crystal vision
Speaker: around your dreams. But have you any dreams you'd like to sell? Dreams are lonely, I miss the light. The heartbeat drives you mad. Oh, the feelness of remembering what you had. And what you lost. You know what you had.
Speaker: And what you lost Oh, and the thunder only happens when it's raining And players, they only love you when they're playing And I say hey women, yeah they will come and they will go
Speaker: When the rain was so too clean, you know
Speaker: And players that only love you when they're playing
